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yoonieper · 2 years ago

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Pecattiphilia— Part 4 | PJM

Pecattiphilia is the sexual arousal from performing an act one believes is a sin.

✽ Pairing: Jimin x Reader

✽ Genre: Angel Au, angst, fluff, future smut, this is a slow burn (kinda?)!

✽ Rated: B for New Beginnings

✽ Series Warnings: This series will include discussion of religious aspects such as the afterlife and concepts of heaven and hell (There are no direct ties to any specific religion besides the mention of angels and demons— all aspects of religion was created by me for this series), this series includes a lot of violence (sometimes graphic depictions) and gore (nothing extreme, Jimin and the boys fight monsters sometimes), and mentions of sin (particularly revolving around sexual topics)

✽ Chapter Specific Warnings: The babies get a bit vulnerable in this chapter, flagellation, violent thoughts, violence (Jimin takes down some bad guys), things get a little gorey, nsfw thoughts wink wonk, things get a little heated ;)

✽ Word Count: 12k

✽ Summary: Jimin is sent to watch over you and as the years go by he gets more and more curious and sometimes just wishes he could get to know you. But he knows that’s forbidden, it's sin. However, a freak accident somehow causes Jimin and your eyes to meet for the first time with purpose. He knows it shouldn’t happen but he doesn’t want to break away. He wants you to look at him, wants you to touch him, wants you to be with him. The problem is none of this should have happened in the first place… what’s happening to him?

✽ Now Playing…: Sin City by Chrishan (slowed), Have Mercy by Chlöe, Blood Sweat and Tears by BTS, Lie by BTS (Jimin)

✽ Author’s Note: I’m so sorry for the wait guys… I posted about this in my last update, but parts 5 (maybe) and 6 (bigger maybe) I’ll try to get out this year, but next year I’ll be prioritizing series so this should get done sooner than the current pace! Idk if y’all noticed the slow burn, but things are just about to start getting interesting (hint hint part 6 is going to be fun) so please look forward to that~ I hope to post a more concrete schedule at some point so follow if interested 😘

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much :D

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You had to keep telling yourself that this was all just a dream. You knew it was, you had convinced yourself long ago that this was all in your imagination. One day you must have gotten so lonely your mind had managed to conjure up this beautiful angel to satisfy that crave for affection and your wish to be loved.

That still never stopped you from getting butterflies anytime Jimin would appear whenever you’d close your eyes.

It was pathetic, you knew it, but you never found yourself happier than when you were with him.

He found his way into your dreams pretty much every night. It was honestly more odd for him not to be there sometime during your slumber. After weeks began to pass, as crazy as it sounds, you really questioned at times if it was really all just a dream. How could this happen? Was it really possible to dream of the same person every single night?

You certainly didn’t think so and oftentimes questioned your own sanity. You might have actually lost it.

A quick search on the internet didn’t help your worries. You asked what dreams like this might mean and all that came up was a whole lot of cryptic bullshit about soulmates that you didn’t buy one bit. Honestly you believed the whole angel thing Jimin stuck with a lot more than that.

After you really never came to a conclusion you just decided to forgo the need for one and just enjoy the delusions while they last.

Each time you would be whisked away into some new fantastical date night with the angel. Sometimes you both would be frolicking in the fields while riding on the backs of unicorns, others you and Jimin would sit underneath the tree you first met and just talk about your day.

The longer it went on, the more you got used to it, and the more you needed him in your life.

It was a little strange. Despite the constant flirting that was seemingly happening between you two, besides the first time you met, things have remained almost strictly platonic. Jimin was your friend more than anything. Of course with you knowing it was a dream, you tried to take things a step forward but each time Jimin became standoffish. Instead of trying to force anything you kept it platonic as well.

Maybe Jimin was truly here to just be your friend.

That would be true but you knew it wasn’t. Jimin had made it clear he liked you and that your outings were dates that he took the time to meticulously plan. Yet still there was a notable distance, physically speaking, that sometimes had you doubting his proclamation.

Instead of thinking about that too hard either you just enjoyed your time with him. It was just a dream after all, no need to get caught up in messy labels and all that.

Jimin was just too nice to hang out with for you to care about the specifics of your relationship.

As long as he was with you, you were fine.

Just like today, Jimin had surprised you and swept you off your feet to whisk you away to the stars.

No this wasn’t a metaphor, a hyperbole, or any other rhetorical device, today you actually found yourself clinging onto the angel as he flew you up higher into the atmosphere.

You watched in amazement as the sky quickly turned from its normal light blue shade, gradually getting darker, before you both were in the vacuum of space.

It earned a quick reaction as your body instantly panicked about the logistics of it, but Jimin laughed, making you realize once again that this was all just a dream.

Just a dream.

Getting a true taste of Jimin’s speed, you managed to fly all the way to Saturn within the span of about 20 minutes. It was strange, the stars seemed to blur around you but you didn’t feel it at all. Things all seemed to be moving in slow motion as you admired the angel, him holding your attention more than the dark cosmos ever did.

On the way over you would get quick glimpses of the passing planets, he would also point out distant constellations, promising to take you to far away lands one day.

You couldn’t believe all of this was somehow in your head.

He landed you both on one of the larger rocks that made up the planet’s rings and magically pulled out a picnic basket.

Only with Jimin would you ever have a picnic on Saturn’s rings.

You both talked and laughed as you ate the array of foods, jajangmyeon like you had been craving all day along with the sweetest tasting fruits you‘ve ever eaten.

The date was sweet and absolutely magical like any time you both would meet, however, unlike most other days you came to visit, something was different.

It was obvious in the silence that would hang for too long in between conversations, it was in the way your smile was never able to reach where it usually does, it was in the way that staring off into the cosmos tears would prick your eyes.

For some reason you knew Jimin knew that today just wasn’t your day and that you were pretending, but he never said anything, instead let the conversations fade into nothing and let you cry out silently.

“Is— is that a comet?” You couldn’t hide the shaking in your voice.

Jimin hummed lightly.

You laughed, you were starting to feel the tears start streaming down your face.

“It’s so pretty, from here it almost looks like any other star.” You were rambling, you knew that.

For a while both of you didn’t say anything after that, it just became harder and harder to keep your sobs quiet. All of a sudden Jimin sat up and propped his head up with his hand so he could face you.

His eyes made you flustered and you quickly tried to wipe your eyes, but he grabbed your wrist. You were confused at first but he used his other hand to wipe your cheek gently.

“There’s no need to pretend.” His voice was soft and instantly had more tears spilling from your eyes.

His words seemed to be all it took to break your wall of composure.

“It’s so stupid.” You sobbed and Jimin just continued to wipe away the tears.

“No it’s not, I promise.”

“I’m over here weeping like a baby just because shit didn’t go my way today, I should be paying more attention to other things, we’re in space for fucks sake.” You didn’t look good, you knew it. You just couldn’t stop crying, your face was hot, and you could quickly feel your nose starting to run.

Normally with guys you like you would never show this side of yourself, but things with Jimin just felt different, him being there with you made it so much easier.

Jimin didn’t say anything again and just let you cry, eventually pulling you into his arms. It was exactly what you wanted.

“You don’t need to justify anything, it’s fine to just be sad.” Jimin eventually reassured. “Besides, I think she was a bitch too.” He added with a smile.

At this he finally got you to smile. “Dambi’s so annoying, I try not to let her get to me but…” You chuckled as you wiped your eyes.

The reason for your sadness was nothing more than a difficult day with a coworker, one who’s known notoriously around the office as just being awful. She’ll ridicule, call you names, and do anything to get under your skin. Most of the time you were able to avoid her, but your boss had you working together today and as soon as you got here with Jimin, for some reason you just couldn’t take it anymore.

Jimin continued to stare at your face and occasionally brushed away a stray tear.

“What does it feel like?” He asked absentmindedly. You looked over at him confused and you were shocked to see his eyes meeting your own.

“What do you mean?”

“To be sad, to cry. What does it feel like?” His tone was genuine, he looked at you like he was almost amazed. You couldn’t be more confused, he sensed this.

“I don’t get sad like you do. I feel down sometimes but even after looking over so many people I can never quite understand what it feels like to get to that point where water starts pouring from your eyes and you just…” Jimin turned to face the stars.

“Let it out, the pain. I don’t feel anything.” His voice was quiet, like he didn’t want you to hear.

You were waiting for the punchline, the joke, anything to indicate he wasn’t serious, but Jimin’s smile began to fade.

“I want to cry with you, to feel what you do.” He sighed.

At this point you knew he was being serious.

“You can’t cry?” You asked, sitting up.

Jimin shook his head.

“I don’t get sad like you do. It didn’t really matter in the past, but I feel like I can’t comfort you properly. I don’t know what you’re feeling.” He mentioned. Saying it out loud made it obvious the reason why.

He was not designed to be put in a situation like this. All he needed to do was watch his humans from afar, he was never supposed to interact with them.

You laid back down on the blanket, making sure to snuggle into his arms extra tightly.

“So angels can’t cry? You learn something new everyday.” You tried to joke but looking up at Jimin’s face, you knew it was more than that.

“It’s not just that… I don’t feel anything like you do.” You looked at him shocked. For some reason your mind went to how your relationship really hasn’t progressed anywhere. Maybe this might be the reason.

“All I know is what I feel for you, but even that seems so foreign.” Jimin furrowed his brows at the mention of it. It took him a minute to realize that he had said that out loud and what that must have sounded like to you.

“This probably doesn’t make any sense to you, I’m sorry space does this to me.” He tried to laugh off but you weren’t having it.

“Talk to me.” You finally said.

“I’m not really supposed to, besides you don’t even think I’m real.” Jimin had tried his best to convince himself that he was fine with you just thinking he was a dream, but the more time he spent with you the harder it was. He wanted you to think he was just as real as everyone else.

“Humor me, or at least with what you can tell me. Let’s pretend you were real, that an angel for some reason is visiting me in my dreams every night. What’s going on?” You were truthfully interested.

Jimin smiled at this and laid back down. “I’m not supposed to be here.” He put it plainly. “I’m risking a lot trying to see you.” Despite his words, he held that faint smile on his face.

“I’m not designed to feel anything. I take orders, see them through, and protect. I’m not made for anything else. It’s making things complicated on my end, because during my time with you, I’ve never felt like this.”

You couldn’t stop the way your heart nearly beat out of your chest.

“But, that’s a problem.” He quickly added.

“Why?” You tried not to sound worried, for some reason you wanted Jimin to like you, feel that same flutter that you did every time you met in your dreams.

He looked over at you. “I shouldn’t feel anything for you, yet here we are. Alone together on Saturn’s rings.” He chuckled weakly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You pushed even further.

“That I must be broken.” The words seemed to linger in the vacuum, a weird mix of emotions was going through your head and Jimin knew about every single one.

He knew how off putting you thought it was that refer to himself as broken at the thought of him having feelings for you but he also knew how excited you got at him being open and honest with you.

Did you really feel this way for him? He could feel your heart beating out your chest, he could even feel the butterflies dancing inside you. Within a month’s time he’s managed to make you feel like this about him and it’s miles ahead of what he could ever feel for you.

He wants more, that even if he doesn’t feel those same emotions as you he could show you what he does feel is in his own way even greater. The fact he even felt anything for you was a miracle.

This was meant to be a solution, a way to be close to you without the repercussions of interacting with you in the normal plane, yet he’s somehow made everything worse. He wants you even more.

“Anyway enough about me, you wanted to talk about Dambi?” He tried to escape the questions and answers he knew you were looking for.

“Jimin we can’t just move on… you’ve been in my head before and I know you know what I’m thinking.” You sighed sitting up.

Jimin frowned.

“Y/n I don’t have answers for you, I’m sorry.” He was honest but also was lying. He shouldn’t be telling you any of this anyway.

“I mean… you literally said you have to be broken because of your feelings for me.” Your voice was shaky again. Jimin felt the pain in every syllable, he hurt you… again.

Instead of explaining himself he let the silence speak for him. What was there to say? It was true, he was broken.

“Jimin I don’t know what we’re doing, what this is between us, but… fuck, is it that bad you feel actually broken?” You tried to sound like it didn’t affect you, this was a dream for fucks sake, but it did, his words hurt.

Jimin didn’t say anything once again.

His silence made you think about the whole reason your brain contoured up this angel in the first place. You were so lonely and you knew no one wanted you. It’s what your last boyfriend proved to you, it’s what almost everyone in your life has proven to you.

All you were was just a pretty face and nothing more to people, over the years you’ve just accepted that fact and chose to be by yourself. People will come and go in life, no need to tie yourself down anymore— is what you used to tell yourself but if this month with Jimin has proved anything it is that you really were craving for more.

Did you really deserve it though? You thought this month together has been amazing, something you looked forward to everytime you would close your eyes, but for such a beautiful angel to think of any feelings that has sprung up as him being broken? Were you really that fucked up?

Were you really that unwantable?

“It’s fine, I’m fine. This is all just a fucking dream, none of this matters. I don’t even do relationships anymore so—” You tried to laugh at yourself but you could feel the tears running down your cheeks. Why were you getting so worked up over a figment of your imagination?

You sighed and laid back down to stare at the planet honestly waiting at this point to wake up. This was all so stupid, you felt so stupid.

It was then that you felt Jimin shift slightly on your right side, you didn’t really pay too much mind to it, honestly wanting nothing more than to be done with him, but suddenly he was on top of you and staring directly into your eyes.

“Is this what you want?” His voice was raspy as his hand came up to caress your cheek and he rested his head against yours. You felt your body come alive in a second, the words that have been bouncing around in your mind immediately forgotten.

“Is this what it’ll take for you to understand how much I want you?” His tone was very direct, he had to make sure you understood.

You were at a loss for words, too focused on how close his lips were to yours.

“You have to understand that I wasn’t made for this, I can’t give you everything you want.”

“Jimin…” you sighed, your body lighting ablaze under his touch.

“Y/n I don’t know what I’m doing I—“ You wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer.

You heard his breathing hick when you couldn’t possibly pull him even closer.

“Are you sure you want this?” Your lips grazed his cheek.

“Yes…” you sighed.

Jimin for some reason couldn’t accept that, instead he pulled back slightly and watched the look in your eyes as you started to remember. All the dates he fucked up that he started anew so you would like him, you even saw the first time he appeared in your dreams, the atrocious sight he let you see from his punishment for his sins.

He didn’t know how to do this at all.

“Y/n I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know how to do this at all.” He cried as he started seeing the tears return to your eyes. Jimin had no idea how to love you like he knew you wanted, the way you deserved.

He couldn’t, it just wasn’t possible.

“You don’t want this…” He sighed softly, using his hand to wipe away the tears.

Your attention focused on him but returned to his lips.

“We’ll figure this out, no one is perfect… we can learn how to do this right together.” You smiled up at him and he felt something inside him snap, a horrible burn on his wrist.

No one is perfect.

“Jimin I want you… please—“ You could hardly finish before you felt a pair of lips crash onto yours.

It was hurried, fast, a moment you had been waiting for since you laid eyes on him. His lips were so soft and you didn’t know whether it was the butterflies or was it a kiss from an angel that made your whole body tingle. It was electric, one that quickly had your body on fire.

You ran your hands over the soft fabric of Jimin’s shirt, your hands eventually making their way into his hair, needing to feel and be as close to him as possible.

It felt like everything was in slow motion, quick or one that lasted a century, you had no idea because all of a sudden you found yourself jerked awake and welcomed by your dark room once again.

You ended up laying there for a while trying to process everything. Really, what just happened?

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Unbeknownst to you was the angel who was sitting beside you on the bed. He was not turned your way, instead a hand was ghosting over his lips, and his eyes were wide as he stared down at the ground in horror.

His other hand toyed anxiously with the chain that hung around his neck, it serving as a reminder of the sin he’s just committed.

It was never supposed to go this far, he never wanted it to go this far.

Jimin had now crossed a line he knew can’t come back from.

His attention turned behind him to see you a little confused, your face still wet from tears but he could see it on your face and feel the giddiness as you thought about the dream.

You kept replaying the moment again and again in your head, you couldn’t remember everything exactly except the warmth you felt when your lips met. What to you was just a dream was as much a reality for Jimin and he could remember every detail.

How it felt to have your body so close to his, how beautiful you looked underneath him, how your lips felt against his, and how much, despite how every part of his body burned from the sin, he wanted to do it again.

That was the very first time, at least in this life, he had ever kissed someone.

In the past he’d get confused at the strange emotions his humans would feel whenever he’d watch them kiss the person that their heart longed for or that they craved for a night of passion. It seemed like such a strange practice to feel such powerful emotions for. Lips touching lips, in the past he would get disgusted and would need to turn away, but more recently the sentiment would confuse him more than anything.

Even though Jimin was only empathizing slightly, the powerful emotions of a kiss would be enough to give him butterflies occasionally.

The last human he watched over, John— he could never forget that moment when he finally kissed his long-time crush, Ana, the girl he had a crush on since high school, who eventually became his wife. Back then that moment was enough to make Jimin blush, a deep dark desire of wanting to be in the moment, Ana had been so pretty under the moonlight that night and the explosion of love John felt in that moment made it hard to look away.

Jimin couldn’t help imagining himself standing in the place of his human, what it would feel like to hold someone that close and—

Jimin that day had to repent for the first time. Normally he was so clean, an occasional visit back to heaven would be enough to suffice for any minor sins, but that burning he felt just like now was hard to ignore so he did what he needed to. It worked back then but this time…

Jimin couldn’t even explain the symphony of feelings he felt. It was as if the most turbulent piece of music exploded into the fiercest of crescendos, a heavenly melody played in his ears as your lips moved against his. It was like kissing the purest of light in a world that was frozen, barren, and dead. You were so warm, so inviting, he was deprived, so so deprived of that warmth, it physically hurt him to pull away from your embrace.

What might it have felt like to be even closer? What new colors of emotions would he have experienced if he continued?

Jimin knew them all, colors that is, and he could see every possible ray imaginable. But with you he felt like he was looking at a masterpiece painted with all new parts of the spectrum that had only been created around you.

He wanted to see more. He wanted more.

That very thought made him feel so dirty. What has he become? Someone so easily lured into temptation? Has he really become that weak?

He turned around to you again this time his eyes filled with disgust. How dare you do this to him?

He got up and started pacing around your room.

Maybe if you knew what you were messing with you would stop. He could appear right here, right now in your room and set the record straight. He could yell at you for ruining him, he could scream all he wanted, but at the end of the day, as much as he wanted to convince himself that it was all your fault, he knew he was even more guilty.

It was Jimin that made the decision to visit you in your dreams, it was him that would always come back, it was him who was broken.

Jimin looked back at you again, you were mindlessly scrolling on your phone. You had thrown off the covers (a result of the dream) to reveal the oversized shirt you had worn to bed. You paid no mind to the fact that it had ridden up to reveal enough skin that made the burned words on his skin set ablaze all over again.

You tempted him to sin so easily and he hated it. He hated you. He didn’t want to but you were getting in the way of him performing his duties properly and his work meant everything to him.

No human has managed to make him travel this far down into sin, any burning he would ever feel would be enough to remind him of his place.

Why did it have to be you, the human he watches over to tempt him so much? You of all the humans?

It was so clear that there was something going on, a problem he needed to get checked out the minute he started to feel the flutter whenever you happened to meet eyes unknowingly. There was no reason to hate you but his eyes couldn’t tear away from your legs and how much a part of him wished you would shift a little so he could see more, he couldn’t stop the sinister feelings from erupting in retaliation.

Jimin looked down at the cross around his neck, a symbol of his allegiance, and he knew the best course of action was to just get out of here. He needed to get out of here.

He flew out your window and zoomed away without a destination in mind, he just needed to be away from you.

His head was spinning, the farther he got away from your apartment the more his heart was pulling him back to you and he fucking hated it.

Jimin found himself flying over a forest. His head at this point was starting to hurt so he just decided to stop and breathe.

Jimin sighed as he felt the soft blades of grass on the soles of his feet. He knew no one was out here for miles so he allowed himself to phase into the normal plane.

He would never normally do this when he was a guardian, but this just adds to the list of things that Jimin would never do before but for some reason these days doesn’t care about.

The birds chirped, the sounds of nature were almost deafening but the orchestra of life proved to be comforting in this moment. Jimin just hoped it would finally ground him.

He took a seat against a tree and tried to close his eyes to enjoy the peace and quiet.

He tried to focus on his awareness of the animal life around him; the bird that was on the tree next to him, the ant that was crawling through the grass behind him, the deer that had heard him come down and had run away.

He hoped this would be enough but even then all he imagined was your lips against his while his hand pushed up that oversized shirt you had to wear. What made it worse was that he knew you weren’t wearing anything, how easy it could have been to feel you if he had the chance.

His mind also couldn’t get over how you said you wanted him, you wanted him despite knowing the fact it was clear he didn’t know how to do this, how he lied to you, and you still don’t even remember the fact he erased whatever incident caused Jimin’s fall into temptation. Maybe if he told you you wouldn’t want him anymore?

Maybe things would be easier to get over if he knew you didn’t want him the same way. He knew how much you wished he was real, he knew that every time you go out you would search for the ‘mystery man’ who occupied your dreams. Your desire was making it harder to pull away.

But he wasn’t human and he was not meant to give in. His job was to be your protector and that was it. The fact that he was clearly defective was not only putting himself at risk, but more importantly putting you and his whole team at risk.

What if they found out he was defective? What would they do to them?

Jimin without thinking tugged off his shirt to reveal the gold letters across his skin blackened out with the sins he’s committed. The sight was appalling and made him sick to even think he could get to a point like this.

He hurriedly pulled out his handle and turned the dials, emerging from one side was a small whip that separated into nine different ends.

He needed to repent, harder. So much was at risk if he didn’t get it together.

Jimin got on his knees and clung to the tree in front of him. He didn’t hesitate in bringing the whip down as hard as he could.

He cried out as his grip on the tree tightened. Jimin once again was reminded he was insane, because in that moment all he could think about was you and how much he wanted to kiss you again.

Jimin quickly brought the whip down again.

He had to get past this.

You should stop lying to yourself.

I’m not.

You’re becoming corrupted.

No, I’m fine.

Do you want her still?

So, so badly.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jimin had been watching you trying to bake a recipe your sister had sent you earlier that week of the chocolate magic cake she made you the last time you saw each other.

He had been fawning over how cute you looked trying to make each layer perfect. You had been stuck on the second layer for ages and for some reason Jimin enjoyed seeing how much effort you were putting into this measly dessert.

You were so cute.

Jimin had been so distracted that when he was getting the notification he was late to his team’s monthly meeting he was scrambling, trying to reach for his halo and rushing inside.

He was not surprised to find everyone’s eyes on him as he rounded the corner to their meeting room. Immediately the scorched words on his thigh sent a shearing pain in leg.

‘Guilt.’

To make matters worse, Jimin had never been late to a meeting before.

The silence that hung in the air was loud and made his skin crawl. Considering what he told them the last time they saw each other, he could tell that’s all they were thinking about to be the reason for his untimeliness.

What was even worse was that they were right. It had everything to do with his feelings for you.

Jimin took a cautious seat in his assigned spot, everyone’s eyes following him as he moved. As soon as he sat down the sting on his back served as a reminder that his plan of repentance had been a failed journey so far. Everyday he went back out to that same forest and tried his best to force these urges and desires out of him.

With how today went it was obvious he needed to work harder.

Has the burn of sin not been enough yet?

The only thing it had managed to do was convince him to not visit you for the last few days, but each and every day he missed you dearly and wanted to continue where you last left off.

Jimin could tell all of them wanted to ask where he was, what could have possibly kept him from their meeting. He could have easily lied and said he got caught up with a demon. He seemed good at doing that these days, but he couldn’t lie to them.

Instead Jimin wallowed in his guilt as Namjoon finally broke the silence to finally start the meeting.

“Anyway, I wanted to start off this meeting by saying the higher ups have informed me that we’re to be dispatched on a mission in 2 days time. I thought it would be good to go over the details before going over our reports.” Namjoon got up so he was standing at the head of the table, everyone’s attention now was all on him.

A hologram appeared in the middle of the table to reveal a building and a face. To any human it wouldn’t look like anything much but for Jimin’s team and any angel really this was an obvious case of a class 2 demon.

“This is Abigor— a demon that’s recently managed to escape from H.E.L.L.”

“What? Abigor escaped?!” Hoseok exclaimed.

“I know, we still don’t know how he managed to make it past the gates with how many people were looking for him, but he did and we only just now have gotten word that others escaped with him.” The hologram changed to footage collected from the outside of their fortress, with more class 2 demons patrolling the area.

“Holy— how did that many get out?” Taehyung asked, confused, everyone was.

“We have no idea, but it seems he’s managed to grow his legion even more since he’s escaped to earth. Some of the demons we’ve observed have been on our missing list for ages.” The hologram pulled up the few profiles they had managed to identify.

“This isn’t good.” Seokjin sighed.

“We’re hoping it looks worse than what it is in actuality, but that’s the reason we’re being dispatched so suddenly, to hopefully take care of this problem quickly and quietly.”

“Of course they send us to fix their fuck up.” Seokjin added, with an exaggerated eye roll. Everyone was a little annoyed this had happened.

“I feel like there’s been more and more of these cases happening, demons managing to get past the P3 angels patrolling the gates. It doesn’t make sense.” Yoongi pondered.

It was weird, in all the time they’ve been awakened they’ve never had this many calls for missions.

“I’ve heard the P3 angels have been complaining to the higher ups. They think something is happening and have been requesting backup.” Namjoon added.

“Well, whatever is happening hopefully they get it under control soon. I’m tired of dealing with all these calls plus being on guardian duty.” Jungkook sighed, leaning back further in his chair.

“Do you think we can convince the higher ups to give us another break after we all finish?” Seokjin chuckled and the others all joined in.

“At this point, they have to give us some type of break. We’ve been working overtime…” Jungkook tried massaging his temples, but the fatigue just wasn’t going to go away that easily.

“C'mon guys, we’re angels, we can’t get tired. Enough about how we feel, our jobs are the priority.” Namjoon tried to pep up spirits but for some reason there was a sudden uneasy shift in the room.

“Anyway I thought I would wait to hear the reports but it’s probably best to just get this over with before we need to start discussing our strategies. We don’t have as long as we like so we’ll probably be here for a while.”

Silence continued to pass for a while, everyone waiting for someone to say something first.

“I’ve gotten my zero.” Seokjin was the first to say.

“Already?” Namjoon chuckled, a little surprised.

“Don’t you guys remember I had the guy in the Lemian war?”

Everyone awed, it suddenly all made sense.

“He lasted a lot longer than I was expecting. I’m still a few months out, but I have my date and time.”

“That’s good— what are your projected numbers?”

“Better than average, since I knew I likely wouldn’t have much time with him I made sure to be extra careful in keeping him as pure as I could. I can’t say anything conclusive yet but I’m hoping to end with a 3.8~”

They all ooed at the number.

“Good job.”

“He’s a good kid, made things a little easier for me. I’m at a 3.6 right now, but I’m confident I can bring that up to .2 before zero hits.”

Jimin had managed to maintain you at a 3.9… the highest was 4. It used to be higher but because of the day Jimin randomly fell into your apartment, leaving you unprotected for 12 hours, his 3.96 went down. Stats like that without a zero were unheard of.

“Great, please make sure to make your final reports to the higher ups a little more detailed. You know how they get when our numbers get too high.” Seokjin nodded at Namjoon’s words, understanding the procedure.

“What about everyone else? What are your current numbers?”

The boys started to go through normal report procedures, going through a general telling of the last month plus their current numbers and projects and ambitions for the next month. Jimin usually enjoyed hearing what his team’s been up to since they parted ways, but at the mention of their humans his mind was suddenly back to you once again and the guilt of his sins.

How could he face them right now?

He felt like such a failure. His team had an image to upkeep, if anyone were to find out that Jimin— the same Jimin who would roll his eyes at the shear mention of a P2 angel fooling around with a human— had gone on to break so many rules to kiss the human he was assigned to protect…

And with all he wanted still despite everything was to see you and kiss you again. He wanted it so bad, he wanted to show you how excited he was to finally call you his. What if you thought he didn’t want you anymore?

The thought alone was laughable, if only you knew how much work he tried to get you out his head only for you to be back within seconds—

“Jimin?”

At the mention of his name he finally looked up to see everyone staring at him.

“What’s wrong with your face…? It’s like… all red right now.” Taehyung asked what everyone was thinking.

“Are you ok? You’ve been acting strange since you got here.” Yoongi glared at him suspiciously.

“I swear Jimin if this has something to do with Y/n…” Namjoon groaned, already sensing where this was about to go.

Tell them.

Jimin looked up to see their concerned faces staring at him, waiting for him to say something and if the guilt was bad before, under their gaze he couldn’t possibly have felt any worse. It was the closest he ever felt to bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry.”

“Jimin what the fuck have you done.” Namjoon groaned, already sensing he was going to hate what Jimin was about to say.

See.

And so he told them everything. He told them about the night that started this whole ordeal, how he suddenly transferred to the normal plane right in the middle of your living room. He told them about the weird effect it had on him and that’s why he had to bless you. He told them how even after the beatings from the higher ups wasn’t enough to sway him and he had been meeting you in your dreams. He even told them about the kiss you shared the last time you saw each other.

Jimin would always picture their faces before he would go into your dreams, how they would react if they knew what he was doing.

Nothing could have prepared him for the reality.

It was silent for a while after he finished, but their faces said more than any words ever could.

They’re disappointed in you.

They should be.

The silence was broken by Namjoon slamming his hand on the table, noticeably startling everyone.

“Jimin, what the fuck did we talk about?!” He was furious, that same disappointed tone Jimin knew he was waiting for him.

Maybe this is exactly what he needed, the people he cared about the most to look at him as crazy as he felt at times.

This is what he needed but it still hurt so much knowing his worst fear was becoming a reality.

“Jimin I know what we talked about last time, I only let it slide because I thought this wouldn’t interfere with your job, that this was a problem you could deal with!” Namjoon exclaimed, baffled he was hearing this from him. This wasn’t the same Jimin who he’s known for eons.

Namjoon looked around at everyone in the room, before running his hands through his hair.

“Jimin, I’m trying to figure out why you didn’t report this to anyone beforehand.” Namjoon tried to calm down.

What was his excuse, did he have one?

Jimin continued to stare down into his lap, unable to meet the eyes of anyone in his team.

“At first I was scared they would separate me from her and I thought I had things under control enough to make it to her zero…” Everyone in the room just sighed, the excuse not enough to beat all the protocols that have been seared into their minds. There was a system, an order, and to forgo everything that they learned just for some human…?

“It was only recently when things got out of control. When she looked at me…” Jimin couldn’t help but smile when he remembered opening his eyes up to see you worriedly staring down at him. Despite how awful he felt, you, having you there was worth any pain he felt.

“That moment right there, everything changed. I never wanted to go back, I didn’t want to be invisible to her anymore. I want her to know me, I want to know her–”

“Jimin, you know that’s not possible. You’re an angel! You’re not even meant to be having these feelings. She’ll grow old and die, you won’t! How would that ever work–”

Jimin suddenly slammed his hand on the table. Everyone’s attention returned to him and they all could see the scary look in his eyes. It was frightening, something they had never seen before in someone that was normally so sweet.

It was horrifying.

“Please do not talk about her like that.” Jimin said calmly, yet the dark look in his eyes made everyone in the room glance around at each other worriedly.

This wasn’t good.

“She wasn’t my only reason.” Jimin continued, finally meeting the eyes of his team.

“Something is clearly wrong with me, I was– am worried. What if they find out they can’t fix me…”

It was dangerous, a defective angel especially when it comes to them interacting in the normal plane is something no one in any division wants.

It is a procedure to deal with the issue as quickly as possible– if it’s determined you can’t be fixed, you’re “fired,” which everyone knows is just another term for forced retirement. To make matters worse, a team’s fate is largely determined by the well-being of every member.

The process of picking team members is very delicate, if that balance is off put by the removal of one member the success of a team is reduced by an astronomical amount. Unfortunately in most cases a team that has lost a member due to a battle lost or being “fired” the whole team meets their demise soon after.

“I can’t let whatever is wrong with me put you guys in danger.” Jimin was being earnest. He couldn’t stand knowing that it was because of him his whole team ended up meeting horrible fates.

Jimin would be a little more optimistic about seeing someone about his issues, but he strongly believed at this point they would think his sins are too great and consider him unredeemable.

There was something inside him telling him there wasn’t some magical way to fix whatever is happening, and if they find out he’s so defective he somehow managed to fall to the normal plane unwillingly, they probably wouldn’t even give him a discharge ceremony to hurriedly make sure he didn’t cause anymore issues.

“I understand Jimin, but what about those we swore to protect. If there is something wrong with you and something ends up happening….” Joon tried to reason.

“All I ask is for your understanding until I take Y/n to get judged. I promise, the minute after I will see if there might be a problem.” Jimin was begging at this point. As much as he worried about his brothers’ fate, the thought of being reassigned and not getting the chance to ensure you were ok was too awful.

“And what if something happens in between then?! It might be different if you had your date but that could be decades.” Joon was getting angry again.

As the argument continued Yoongi noticed the blackened out letters on Jimin’s wrist.

“What if you end up becoming corrupted?” Yoongi suddenly said, interrupting the heated debate.

Jimin suddenly looked scared.

Yoongi pointed to his wrist.

Fueled by anger, Namjoon walked around the table and hastily pulled up Jimin’s sleeve. Everyone around the table gasped seeing the letters blackened out.

“Take off your shirt.” Joon took a step back.

Jimin didn’t even argue as he pulled the shirt over his head.

If all the bruises that painted his skin weren’t alarming, the words that were normally barely visible looked more like tattoos than what they truly were meant to be, reminders. They were meant to be reminders to keep him in line, to ensure that he didn’t stray far off the path, something since he had awakened had presented as a problem.

Jimin had been told by Celine and Atara that he was more susceptible to becoming corrupted for some strange reason. Despite their warnings, Jimin had remained one of the most untainted P2 angels of the sector, that was, well till he started watching over you.

“Jimin, you need to understand, we’re just worried about you. This does not look good at all.” Yoongi sighed, seeing that all the words he had on his chest were just as black as the one on his wrist.

“Please… just until I can take her to get judged.” Jimin looked around at everyone and he was faced with their concerned stares.

Joon took a seat at the head of the table, thinking and running through what would be the best way to proceed with this.

“Yoongi do you have any idea what could be causing the symptoms Jimin described.” Joon sighed, leaning back in his chair, one that stood apart from the others. It was bigger, grander, and posed more authority.

Yoongi was one of the few P2 angels who took the time to become a trained medic. Celine and Atara had noticed he might possess the rare skill, usually only reserved for P1 angels. Yoongi had stayed behind one of their few breaks and learned and mastered the skills needed to care for his team.

If anyone might have any idea what this could be, it would be him.

“Forcefully dropping to the normal plane? Feelings for humans? None of these are symptoms of anything I can identify. Maybe a P1 angel might have a better idea, but without the proper resources I can’t help you.” Yoongi said, analyzing how upset Jimin seemed.

Namjoon sighed again.

Procedure, what he should do is stick to the procedure and get his friend the help he clearly needed, but, but Jimin was right. There was no telling what might be causing these mysterious symptoms, what if he ends up putting his whole team at risk.

Namjoon’s job as the leader was to look after the wellbeing of each and every one of his team members. Knowing that all the help Jimin might receive could be forced retirement as well as the entire team’s downfall made him doubt his immediate reaction.

“Does anyone have any opinion about what we should do?” Joon asked, opening up the floor to anyone.

The room was silent for a while.

“I trust what you think is best. There’s risks no matter what we choose to do.” Jungkook mentioned and everyone just nodded. There really wasn’t a right answer here.

Namjoon sat back in his chair and stared up at the white ceiling, trying his best to organize his thoughts.

“Jimin, I won't report this.” Namjoon could hardly believe his own words. Maybe there was something wrong with him as well.

“I’m hoping, I’m hoping whatever might be causing this is something that might go away after you take Y/n to get judged. The minute, and I’m serious Jimin, the minute anything out of line begins happening– I’m sure everyone at this table will understand that it would be better to get you the help you need.” Joon laid out.

As much as he knew, he knew that he should just follow the protocols— the minute one of his team members or himself start acting strange he was immediately meant to take them to get evaluated. It was as simple as that, yet he couldn’t bring himself to possibly risk his teammate in order to figure out what the issue might be.

Jimin visibly looked relieved.

“Thank you so much.” Jimin looked Namjoon right in the eye, knowing he was going out of his way for him.

“No– Jimin on the condition of letting this go unreported, you’re ordered not to continue seeing Y/n in her dreams unless it’s an order from the higher ups. This is the only time I’m letting this go and to me it seems she’s the reason for your fall from grace. If you want to continue to be her guardian then these are the terms you must agree to.” Namjoon spoke seriously.

“Wait what–”

“It’s either that or we’re going to MP1s immediately.” Namjoon laid out. It was more than a compromise Jimin deeserved at this point, but Namjoon was too nice sometimes.

Everyone around the table nodded in agreement, seeing that also as more than fair.

Jimin wanted to protest but all he did was slump in his chair, mumbling a quiet ok.

Namjoon nodded, still clearly stressed, but relieved they seemed to be on the same page. But they weren’t, Jimin was experiencing more emotions he had never felt before.

Rage, he was seething to himself as the leader tried to direct the meeting into going over the plan for their upcoming assignment.

Jimin could hardly pay attention, he was so furious.

Anger was a very human emotion, one that always seemed so foreign to Jimin and really any angel. Anything that seemed like anger was normally an extremely dulled down version of what humans experience (much like any resemblance of emotions they feel).

It would take an astronomical event to make a being of his nature as upset as humans would get at the tiniest of issues and yet the thought of his leader banning him from seeing you was all it took for suddenly this new fiery shade of the emotion to manifest.

A word right on his chest burned with an intensity that Jimin struggled to keep it together during the meeting.

Fury.

It was horrible, the leader he respected so much being the target of such a nasty emotion. Jimin could hardly believe the images his mind conjured up in retaliation.

His handle was in his pocket, how easily he could have charged at the leader, quickly turning the dials on his handle to form a knife to demand the leader to take it back. Even worse, he imagined using it as well, hoping to make the leader pay for even suggesting never seeing you again.

Rage or any type of anger should never be experienced by someone who, in the name of such emotion, could destroy worlds or even the universe entirely.

The fact this emotion even managed to manifest in his mind made Jimin seriously consider following through with Namjoon’s order. Maybe he was right, everything in his life did get worse the minute he started getting close to you.

He should heed his leader’s warning.

Somehow he managed to make it through the meeting, but he needed to make a promise with himself in order to study the details once again. He hardly was able to pay attention.

Instead of going back through the way inside their home base of operations, they decided to walk through H.E.A.V.E.N. hoping the walk to the gateway would be enough to settle the tension that still lingered after the discussion earlier.

On the way, Yoongi said he needed to stop by the MedBay, so the rest of the boys waited in the common area for him to come back.

“Do you guys remember when we looked like that?” Namjoon asked as he looked over to the team of five practicing drills. It was a redundant question considering they all can remember everything that took place in their lives since the moment they awakened, but Namjoon’s question did make everyone in the group smile seeing the boys in front of them.

They all knew them, deemed TXT on the leaderboards, the team of five were a group who awakened some time after their group did. They were a group who were often compared to their own in the means of potential. They were still relatively young, but despite that their stats were remarkable compared to those who awakened around a similar timeframe.

Despite this new emotion still bouncing around in his head, the sight even made Jimin smile as he recounted his group doing the same when they were still up and coming.

The more he looked though, the more he noticed something strange.

As the group went through their drills, he noticed they were following the standard order of procedures exactly as Celine and Atara had instructed when they were still being trained.

They seemed almost robotic as they wrapped up their drills. The other members trailed behind their leader, in a perfect straight line like they had been advised. It was strange seeing the methodical way that they put away their equipment, they followed every procedure they were advised.

The members all saluted to their leader, perfect posture, heel toe, heel toe— they were perfect as they walked away from the training area.

Those unfamiliar with their sector might just figure for the young team to be possibly trying to show off for their higher ups, but one glance around their sector and everyone acted that way.

Everyone that walked past them followed their leader, mirroring their actions perfectly, anyone flying above them flew just like the leader guiding them through the halls.

Back when they were still training Celine and Atara always told them after Namjoon was assigned the role of guiding their team that the leader was the soul of their team.

Their team used to be just like everyone else. A few eons ago Jimin would have never been able to escape Namjoon sending him to the MP1s, a few eons ago he never would have asked in the first place.

So much has changed, it became more obvious the more he looked at how perfect everyone around him seemed.

Soulless, just drones carrying out orders, that’s what they were meant to be.

It was only recently that his team stopped following those procedures, they just seemed unnecessary. It was only recently that Namjoon stopped ordering the authority team leaders usually possess.

It was strange. Jimin could remember everything yet the moment his team disregarded the procedures wasn’t coming to him. It almost seemed like they were always like this, people who would easily joke and saw each other as equal parts of the team.

All faces that passed by remained expressionless, no smile, as they focused on making sure to follow their leader.

Even those that talked as they went by had nothing else to discuss other than their duties. What else was there to talk about really?

It seemed like just yesterday Jimin was probably the most pretentious angel around despite him not being a leader or a P2 angel, it was that fall from grace that made this whole situation seem so strange.

Has their team really changed that much? Has he really changed that much?

As much as he couldn’t remember being like this anymore, he knew his team followed these exact procedures up until recently but he couldn’t take off the rose colored glasses that told him otherwise.

Nothing was wrong, they were fine, everyone was fine.

Jimin looked over to his teammates and smiled.

Completely, 100 percent fine.

The procedures weren’t required anyway, they were just standard proceedings.

Yoongi came back soon after and they started flying over to the Drop room.

On the way he paid attention to everyone going by, none of them weren’t following the proceedings. Were they really that strange?

The concern started to become a little overwhelming, luckily they finally made it before it got too bad.

The room was like all the others, immensely white with gold detailing along the walls and vines streaming everywhere. What made it the Drop room was because it had a giant hole in the floor with thousands of angels going in every second.

“I trust you’ll listen to orders.” Namjoon said to Jimin as the group stared down at the warped view of Earth down below.

Jimin wanted to tell him to fuck off— a thought he would have never pictured being being directed toward his leader— but instead Jimin simply nodded, hoping that would be enough to stop himself from spilling out an unruly amount of profanities… or doing something worse.

“HB meeting at U##7:33– we’ll go over the details of the assignment once more and depart at U##23:33.” Everyone nodded at the leader's words. This is standard proceedings.

And with that, they flew down through the portal after a very awkward goodbye.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

After Jimin arrived back by your side, this strange new emotion was not simmering in the way he hoped it would the minute he could get some space. If anything, seeing you cutely munching on that magic cake you finally managed to get right was just more fuel to the growing fire.

The minute he detected strange activity in the plane and he was faced with a gross giant sin in front of him. He decided that this would be the way he was going to express himself.

Purging sin would be a perfect form of catharsis.

Jimin couldn’t stop the sinister grin on his face as the tall, lanky, abomination with arms that dragged behind began charging at him.

The creature was mountains in height above him in this form, but Jimin loved the challenge.

It was just more to play with.

Jimin reached in his pocket and grabbed the handle, quickly turning the dials to have his angelic energy manipulated to form a sword. A classic choice, but he wanted to feel every slash he makes. A sword was perfect.

As Jimin quickly flew in to attack the creature Jimin couldn’t stop his mind from picturing the leader earlier and his orders to never meet you again.

He hated to admit that he knew Namjoon was just looking out for him and the team, but didn’t he hear the story Jimin told him? How he explained the moment you looked into his eyes, how much that changed him. The plethora of emotions, wishes, and desires he’s never experienced before all because you actually came into his life.

And he was only meeting you in your dreams? Was that really so wrong?

As much as Jimin wanted to believe what he was saying, what really was the true ignition of this flame was the fact Namjoon was right, painfully so.

Jimin’s changed so much in the short time since he fell into the middle of your living room. The scorched letters on his skin was enough proof of that.

He wanted to be right though, he wanted to continue meeting you with no consequences.

But that voice of his leader advising him on the right path just made him see red and it was all he thought above as he slashed the creature's legs, bringing it down with a horrifying shriek.

Jimin was easily able to immobilize the creature, and much like a tree in the forest, Jimin watched as its top half came crashing down from colossal heights onto the floor of the infinite white void.

Jimin made quick work of going for its arms, dodging any attempts at knocking him to the ground. Its ginormous hands were first, but that was not enough for him, he speedily flew around the creatures, slashing and cutting until its lengthy arms were reduced to just numbs.

Eventually Jimin flew so he was standing on the tiny torso of the creature. By now, black ooze had painted the white void and continued to pour out of its small appendages flailing around. Jimin was covered in it as well.

Some might be horrified at the sight, but each cut was exactly the remedy he needed in order to quell his anger toward his leader.

Namjoon and the rest of the team were the closest people he had in his life and ever will, it was probably the closest he will ever get to experiencing love.

It was nice knowing they cared and they were being more than generous in not taking him to the MP1s, he should be grateful.

Jimin flew up high before quickly soaring back down and piecing his blade through its horrid flesh. Jimin attacked it from the inside, not at all caring about the ooze and marveled at the horrible way it screamed for him and how his blade incinerated everything around him.

It was glorious.

When Jimin was done, the creature was hardly alive, only deepened sighs and ragged breaths filled the void. He easily could have finished him off that way, but he was feeling a little extra today.

Jimin got right in front of the creature's face and stared down at it with malice and disgust.

Pathetic.

Its head was way too tiny for its long body, it was always so strange to see that this was the manifestation of temptation.

Not in the mood to drag this out any longer, Jimin used his blade and with one swift, clean, cut across its neck the horrible noises finally stopped.

A clean beheading.

Jimin hurriedly stabbed his blade through the tiny head and that was enough for the creature– or rather, what remained of the creature– to disintegrate into ash, the purest form of what a creature like that could become.

He knew he was right in this helping him. He felt better already seeing the black covered ooze painting the void, knowing this nasty emotion was able to aid him in purging this evil from ever touching you.

Jimin smiled.

Pathetic.

I know.

That was not enough to stop you?

I’m sorry.

You’re not.

But–

Nothing good will come from this.

I love her.

You don’t know what love is.

…

I want her.

Want is not enough.

…

You disappoint me continuously.

Jimin shook the voice out of his head, choosing to ignore his other half. He had to stay a little longer and make sure not other creatures would show up. He wanted to hurry and get back to you.

He wanted to be selfish.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

You were a little shocked later that night after crashing from eating all that cake earlier, to find yourself back in the beautiful meadow that you’ve found yourself in countless amounts of time this month.

Immediately after realizing you were finally having that dream again you quickly looked around to see if you could find him.

Jimin, where was he?

Like he’s proven too many times, it seems as if he heard your thoughts and suddenly you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around and you couldn’t stop yourself from immediately jumping into his arms.

He caught you, he always does.

You couldn’t stop yourself from bursting into tears the minute his hand came up to lightly stroke your hair, soothing you instantly at how hard it’s been not seeing him.

It was so dumb, you had spent the last few days sulking over a man in your dreams suddenly disappearing after a particularly strange last meeting.

He had been the reason for your sudden decision on baking that cake, hoping your sister’s recipe would be enough to soothe the ache your heart felt over an imaginary man. It was stupid, incredibly dumb, but having him here now made you realize how real your feelings for him were.

This was horrible.

“Jimin…” You sobbed into his light blue sweater, your grip a little too tight, worried you might lose him again at any moment.

“Did you really miss me that much?” He chuckled, but you noticed his strong grip on your waist.

You finally pulled away and looked up at your angel, and an angel indeed he was. He looked absolutely heavenly, his hair now a shade of blue matching his sweater, and his eyes now a dark blue akin to the waves of the ocean.

For some reason you could tell he seemed different.

“Where did you go?!” You exclaimed.

You had spent the last few days worrying that after the events of your last meeting was enough to drive him away entirely.

You worried if you might have been too bold, might have pushed him too much despite his concerns he voiced to you.

You couldn’t be happier to see him standing in front of him once again.

“I had a lot on my mind, but I’m here and I won’t leave you again.” The words made him smile but also guilt plagued his mind and body, the word on his thigh burning but he never faltered.

You looked him over and that’s when you noticed he was wearing gray sweatpants and lacked his luxury brand shoes now.

“Did you have a midlife crisis while you were gone?” You questioned and the accusation made Jimin think back to your first date (attempt).

Jimin sighed.

You can’t do this.

Shut up.

Jimin laughed lightly at your joke. “To be honest, I think this time I did.”

You were just joking, but the admission made you switch to actually being concerned. “Was it because of our last date?” You asked, worried you might have actually messed with your angel.

“A little.” He was honest. “But I just needed to figure out some things personally. Our date made me realize we were at a crossroad.”

“Crossroad?”

“I had been trying my best to avoid it over our time seeing each other, I know you noticed it as well, but seeing you think I don’t care about you couldn’t be the furthest from the truth and I had to do something.”

Your face warmed as you thought about it, his lips on yours and you noticed the way he smiled, getting a little shy at how vivid the picture was.

“Yes, that exactly…”

“Why did you want to avoid this?” You asked finally, curious where this was going.

“I already told you, I’m not really built for this type of situation. To be honest ever since we met I’ve been a little confused on how to handle all these new emotions you’ve allowed me to experience. I tried to dance around facing them until I could decide where I wanted this relationship to go.”

“Which is?” You couldn’t help trying to pry the information out of him. What did he decide?

“Either we never see each other again… or…” His gaze finally focused on your eyes and you thought you would end up feeling lost in those blue eyes.

Jimin wanted to tell you, tell you everything that has gone into making this decision. He’s going against everyone, all his higher ups, his team, H.E.A.V.E.N. itself just to see you and be with you, but as you looked up at him, for the first time in his life things just stood still. You were here in front of him and that’s truly all that matters.

His fate was sealed, the decision was made.

Instead of going on and on like he had prepared tonight about everything that has gone into making this decision, instead he just pulled you close and kissed you like he had been wanting to since you parted ways.

Your lips were so soft and he enjoyed feeling the peculiar way your heart sped up the minute you realized what he was doing. Everything about you was so sweet and soft and made the most complicated emotions do a dance inside him.

He loved this.

Disgusting.

He loved it even more.

Jimin never wanted to pull away, but eventually you did and his heart fluttered seeing how flustered you were.

“Well, what does that mean Jimin?” You asked breathlessly.

“It means…” He leaned in close. “You’re mine.”

Despite his attempt at trying to make you flustered, his words suddenly had images popping up in your mind about Jimin fucking you against the tree you both always sat under.

The word on his wrist burned, the ache doing its best to remind him of his place.

She wants you to touch her. What are you going to do about that?

It was like his other half was mocking him at the predicament. As much as he’s sacrificed continuing to be with you, that was still a boundary he would never be willing to cross.

Is she going to like that?

At this moment he wanted to smash his head in with a rock. He didn’t want to think about that right now and he didn’t want to tell you either, at least not yet. What if you don’t want this anymore?

You cleared your throat, trying to stop your wandering mind. It was enough to bring Jimin back from his own troubling thoughts.

“Oh yeah, this wasn’t the only reason I met with you.” Jimin finally said.

“Really?”

Jimin nodded.

“I wanted to tell you I will be leaving for a few days.” Jimin felt the way your heart sank at his words and he couldn’t help but laugh. You were so cute.

“You just said you won’t leave me alone anymore…” You pouted and Jimin hastily pulled you in a hug because how could one person be so cute.

“I have work to do…” He sighed, hating to separate so soon after such a big turning point for your relationship.

“Is my angel looking over others?” You asked curiously and you didn’t notice the way Jimin got red at the nickname.

It was what he was, it was like someone feeling all mushy over being called human. It was just in the way you said it, always with a possessive ‘my’ because he truly was yours.

“Nope, I’m yours and yours only. I have bad guys to take down.” He decided to tell you the truth, hoping that might interest you and immediately he could tell it did.

“Really?” You asked shocked like everyone did when they found out.

Jimin nodded.

“You’re gonna be ok, right?” That was a new one, usually most would rave in disbelief that such a soft soul could hurt anyone.

Maybe if most knew Jimin didn’t really have one anymore, or if they saw the way he could mutilate creatures like the one he did just before seeing you they wouldn’t be so surprised.

“I will.” He smiled at you.

“Promise…” Your voice was soft and he could tell you were a little embarrassed at your own words.

No one has ever worried for him. This was really new.

“I promise I’ll see you again on Sunday~” And his nonexistent heart couldn’t feel fuller.

“Sunday?” You giggled, finding the day all too fitting.

“I know it seems cliche, but I promise it’s just a coincidence.” He laughed along with you.

“Well then… If you really need to leave for a few days, can I have something to remember you bye?” You asked, but he didn’t even need to be able to read your thoughts in order to know what you were implying.

“Maybe that can be arranged…” He smiled before pulling you close once more.

He was really going to miss you.

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