#chris dndads

[koszmarnybudyn]

W̵̹͖̱͔̐h̷͔̙̗̎̾a̶̜͚͒ͯ̃̔ṭ͇̝͈̹̰͂̈ͤ͝ ̷̞͕̖̝̭́̾͒͋a͗ͤ͌͏̼̪̯ ͎̳͚̲̻̼̩̱ͮ̾͜l̖̺ͥ͜o̶̩͔̗͓͉͍ͭ̏͌̋v̴͉̲̆́̊ĕ̩̭̭̼̻͢l̛̺͔̮̊̃̎y͋͏̟͕͕͖̳̦ͅ ̰͇̯̹̉̐͛͂͜ẅ̶͚͈̗̘̜͓ė̮̮̦̹̑̓̓́ͅḓ̷̞̪͑͆ͥd̙̙̂͢ī͖̙̟̗̹̹̀͜ṅ̴͉̗͙̩̟ͫ͌g̊͌̉ͦ͏̲̬͔͈ ̴̤̮͕̖̫̖̗̼̑:̷̥̹͙̝̣̄̄ͬ̓)͖͇̝̜ͣ͗͝

[raemeh]

ship sketch request… glitchkicks???

Me feels like Chris’s love language was touch

[ship sketches open]

[girlsnightgirlsnight]

dndads as chris fleming

glenn and nick

darryl and henry

trudy

also trudy

darryl

hermies standup

scam

henry

hermie

[parhe1ion]

they’re all gonna laugh at you!!

[risetherivermoon]

taylor was the one to do the final blow to willy because he hurt cassandra actually

[cha1cedony]

Also I was literally JUST planning a Gothcleats as adults AU longfic.. and then I was like “nooo I have too many other things to write. I don’t need to do this” BUT NOW. UM. VERY TEMPTED

[sparrownnax]

"average person has one spouse" lincoln li-wilson-swift-marlowe-oak-swallows-garcia-unworthy who has had 5 spouses is a statistical outlier adn should not be counted

[therestofmyfandoms]

best part of the entire episode was link/matt using Exclusively genderneutral pronouns for his spouse, Chris (Kris?)

[silverlistenstothings]

Diversity win! Link’s ex-future-video-game-spouse is non-binary!

[y0url0c4lfr0ggzd0tc0m]

Each of the Kiddads can be linked to one of the Grown Ups dads.

Terry Jr Stampler: Chris Rock/Kurt McKenzie

Grant Wilson: Adam Sandler/Lenny Feder

Nicky Close/Foster: David Spade/Marcus Higgins

Lark Oak Garcia: Kevin James/Eric Lamonsoff

Sparrow Oak Garcia: Rob Shneider/Rob Hillard

(the Grown Ups Pina Colada song btw)

[raemeh]

introducing Chris

I wanted to give them a lively personality and honestly i’m really liking their hair.

[girlsnightgirlsnight]

shitpost

[solitary-bones]

so dndads live show St Paul! idk how much of this is a spoiler for anyone else going to shows so I'ma cut here!

we had!

- so many gay people in the audience that as I was walking in to the venue I said to my friend damn this is like a pride parade and a bunch of gay people in front of me were like TRUEE

- a live performance of both! dead and gone and rocks rock! it was so incredible. Beth and Will both POPPED OFFF!!!!!! they were so cool oh my god. and Freddie fucking shredded it on the electric guitar it was so sick.

- silly St Paul themed dad facts plus Ron just uhh thinking all manual labor is called a hand job.

- the people royally fucking up the dice roll (not my fault I was in the balcony I cannot be held responsible)

- the people absolutely manifesting the complete improv prompt as the live show topic. and all of the cast going into mourning over it (will fell to his knees on the stage so dramatically it was so funny)

- the cast deciding to do a DND game with their characters! Starring: Will Campos as Henry oak as Mr Chris (later Dr Chris), by the book health inspector! Matt Arnold as Darryl Wilson as Darryl, ex football quarterback now accomplished priest searching to remember all 10 commandments! Beth may as Ron stampler as Nor Relpmats, doctor (the best health inspector of them all)! and Freddie Wong as Glenn Close as Glenn The Closer, weed enjoyer moonlighting as a health inspector relying on his gut! Anthony Burch as Patrick as Patrick the shit (among other characters)!

- the audience not being able to stop being horny when giving suggestions for what their location, bad guy, and theme were gonna be (bdsm dungeon, just a guy from the audience named Patrick, and a 10 commandments dildo)

- an abundance of flashbacks and one single flashforward

- butt spanking competition to get past the second door (it is a bdsm castle ig)

-mr Chris tests to see if the floor has been cleaned recently and thinks it hasn't. Glenn the closers gut says it's fine but Mr Chris says if he tastes some of what's on the ground he'll be able to tell better. Glenn the Closer bites his fingers and Mr Chris is into it.

- Mr Chris finding a dead cockroach on the ground and revives it using CPR and mouth to mouth (Anthony is the cockroach and also when will tried to fake the mouth to mouth yelled DO IT PUSSY so yeah they actually kissed like twice at least) and revived it to ask about the cleanliness of the floor and found it not very.

- none other than paeden bennets on the second level, who Darryl proceeded to obliterate with a holy football. I'm not lying (not before asking how Patrick the DM knew about their friend Paeden who was long dead and us getting a lively npc on npc scene by Anthony of Patrick meeting Paeden and getting punched in the balls and saying "I'll never forget you")

- Test by the health inspectors to see if the blood of paeden would get cleaned up. all of the soots from spirited away came in with little mops to clean it and cleaned all the party. Glenn rolled to see if he's into it and got a 9 but the crowd gave inspiration and he got a 6, which is 69 so he was and wanted to stay there forever with the soots. Henry as Mr Chris used his persuasion to get Glenn the closer to leave the soots by saying that whatever they're doing he could do it better. because apparently they're ex lovers now. (Anthony yelled something about Will wanting to kiss another boy)

- Flashback reveals that they were highschool sweethearts but were going to health inspection schools on opposite sides of the US and were talking about how their relationship would progress from there when Mr Chris' secret lover barges in and informs them that they're pregnant and he's the father! Glenn the Closer gets upset and asks what happened and Mr Chris proceeds to another, extremely graphic, flashback where Ron the doctor commentates the uhhh conceiving of said child. and Glenn is understandably upset at the graphicness of this explanation about being cheated on. They end with bitter words, stating they're now nemesis in health inspection.

- Nor asks Mr Chris how long it's been since he saw his son Patrick. (not since birth lmao)

- they go up to the final level, find Patrick using the commandment dildo, on the 8th one I think, and upon seeing his absent father run in and ask "are ya winning, son!?"gets extremely turned off. he understandably asks what he's doing there after being absent his whole life. Mr Chris explains that he's finally ready to be back in his life, with his husband Glenn the closer, and his newfound belief in Christianity from Darryl the priest who's really good at football.

- Flashforward to Mr Chris and Glenn the Closer living together and apparently "they're bougie enough to have their own priest" so Darryl lives with them too. Nor comes to visit and we see the commandment dildo hanging above the mantle.

and that's that on that.

[taylortheanimerangerteen]

Same

chris means everything to me....

[cha1cedony]

Aww I kinda wish Link got to use the (e)xbox… Chris :( 🫶

[hermanunworthy]

im gonna make an ongoing list of all the customers w dndads names ive helped at my pizza job bc keeping myself entertained will make work a little more bearable

- tony

- nick

- ron

- darryl

- taylor

- chris

- doug

- veronica

- erica

- frank

- mark

- vince

- teresa

- elizabeth

- henry

- john

- marco

- cynthia

- dennis