#choosing the right marina

[annabelle--cane]

biting this scene. sinking my teeth right in.

[pinkcasket]

ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features for c-ptsd hill

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[aeternallis]

Colin's "entrapment" line was hard to listen to, but it was most definitely a sign of how unhinged he really is for Penelope.

Ok but for reals, I'm not sure how everyone else reacted when Colin said his now infamous "entrapment" line, but I just love how if one looks at this line a little more closely, it was definitely some semblance of an underhanded (and also a bit silly, lol) attempt to actually keep Penelope entrapped. Haha, the irony of it all. Idk, at least that was my read on it!

Like, it was definitely said in anger as well; he's hurting, and he’s hurting badly, so of course he wants to hit back in some way, however he can. Luke Newton absolutely meant it when he said that Colin reacts to the reveal in the worst way possible, alas.

My very first reaction to that scene: //pauses the screen to yell at Colin at 4am in the morning, “Entrapment????! If you feel trapped, then why the hell are you still going along with it, ya dumb ass!!!

Because really, think about it: Colin was definitely within his rights to call off the wedding, especially when he'd mentioned that Violet had noticed that he and Penelope had not seen each other for some time. It would have been the perfect time to reveal Penelope's secret to his mother, if indeed he felt entrapped by the LW of it all. Violet is family; if he wanted to still protect Penelope but no longer wanted to marry her, he would have been able to count on Violet's discretion. I'm sure she and Lady Danbury would have come up with some sort of plan to deal with the aftermath regarding the Bridgertons’ reputation, as we'd seen with Anthony and Edwina's botched wedding.

Furthermore, it would have probably been the better option to reveal it to her, since the existence of LW does put his family in danger; Penelope herself knows this. Every decision she makes post-LW reveal to Colin is due to the Bridgertons being in danger. Lady Danbury makes a point of this when she said in the last episode, “There is only one other person who loves the Bridgertons more than I.”

Eloise was able to keep the secret with no real consequences because although Penelope was her ex-bff, El still loves her, and besides that, nothing legal binds them as Colin's marriage to Penelope would.

Even when he was getting ready to talk to Benedict about getting funds to fulfill Cressida’s demands, he insisted on making up a lie to shield Penelope’s identity as LW. He knows more than anything that fulfilling a demand like this, all for the sake of his wife and at the cost of using a substantial amount of Bridgertons’ financial assets, may not put his marriage in the best light within his family. He doesn’t want to be forced to have to choose between his wife and his family, so he’s keen on keeping the lie going.

So for all intents and purposes, he doesn't tell his mother, or any of his other siblings (besides Eloise, who already knew); this in and of itself is hella fucking risky. The fact that Colin is willing to take this risk of withholding Penelope's secret identity from his family, the fact that he doesn't think to jeopardize this potentially risky betrothal—already goes to show the measure in regards to how much he wants Pen for his wife. We the audience know this because he waits until the very last minute to tell Violet, and even then, it's not Colin who chose to reveal it to her, but Penelope herself.

Another point: arguably, we can also say that Colin has a lot more wiggle room with his engagement to Penelope to call off the wedding, much more than he ever did with his engagement to Marina.

"A man of honor"? Exactly what "honor" are we talking about here? Colin claimed that he would have married Marina had she just told him the truth, yet when push came to shove and the truth of her pregnancy was revealed for all the world to know, he still chose to take the out Penelope gave him through LW. It’s easier to make a declaration like that when it’s all said and done. Lol Sure, he regretted it and apologized for his behavior later on, but he had made his choice regardless. Y’all can just feel Marina and Lady Danbury judging this dumb ass (affectionate) for dwelling in the past. Silly young man! XD What's stopping him this time around?

"We had been...intimate." Are you talking about the mirror scene, sir? Because let me assure you, you and Penelope have long been "intimate" way before you decided to buy a love nest and take her V-card the very next day you proposed to her. In fact, this is where the significance of their first kiss in 3.02 rings so, SO importantly and WHY it was vital that it was Penelope who asked and said that it would not have to mean anything. Colin knows Penelope would never use their first time together and/or the heated moment in the carriage as a way to entrap him. That first kiss alone should have already warranted that they get married, but Penelope makes it clear that it’s simply a favor, nothing more.

Oddly enough, I’m surprised Colin doesn’t bring up the idea of a long engagement (yknow, as he initially wanted with Marina, but who’s keeping track at this point), considering that would have potentially benefitted their situation. 🤔 His dumb ass (affectionate) was more than willing to stick to the wedding schedule…huh.

Besides all that, I don’t think it’s the showrunners’ intent to “taint” those special moments between them by changing the context through Colin’s (very biased) POV; to believe that to be the case would be, imo, just a bad faith argument. The genre is romance, y’all; these intimacy scenes are on an entirely different pedestal.

Because remember, that “entrapment” line of Colin’s only came about due to Penelope starting the conversation with, “Are you going to call off the wedding?”

Didn’t it almost seem like an afterthought, that he just came up with it on the spot? Hahaha.

I can bet y’all Cressida’s fake ass €20,000 blackmail money that before they’d met up to discuss wedding breakfast plans with their mamas, it had probably never even occurred to Colin to cancel their wedding. Angry and furious as he was, it was never a question of whether or not he still wanted Penelope for a wife.

The fact that it’s Penelope who begins that conversation and opens that Pandora’s box possibility is so, so damn important. Because not only does it show how much Penelope truly loves him in that she would never trap him, it also shows her maturity, in that she’s willing to face the consequences of her actions. She’s willing to give Colin the choice to back out, heartbreaking as it would be to face it, even if she herself would not be the one to pursue that choice.

She gives him the choice a good number of times: the wedding breakfast plan scene, the wedding day itself when she hesitates on the aisle, and the annulment offer after the butterfly scene.

Penelope defends herself softly, but truthfully: she never meant to entrap him, because she really didn’t. And Colin knows this; he would not still love her and want her if he honestly believed she wanted to entrap him. Hell, even if she did, the audience knows it’s a desire that comes from a good place: she loves him, so of course she doesn’t want to lose him. She wants to marry him, because she loves him. That’s all there is to it.

But despite knowing this (imo, anyway), we can also say that this conversation may have contributed to Colin’s downward spiral during the majority of episode 7 and 8, and why he becomes hella fucking desperate to be “useful” to her.

Because unlike himself, Penelope has now begun to entertain the idea of living a life that doesn’t include him—at least, not as her husband. Penelope is brave and strong enough to let him go due to the pain she caused him for her lies and her actions as LW, and as for Colin…well…

(I love it, it’s the same conundrum that Anthony faced in S2: Kate is strong enough to leave him behind and return to India, but Anthony…well…)

TL;DR, Colin’s entrapment line was literally an excuse he gave himself to keep his betrothal to Penelope intact. It’s a line that works in two ways simultaneously: it’s a painful, childish, underhanded thing to say in order to hurt Penelope’s feelings, to get back at her for the anguish he’s suffered. Yet at the same time, it’s also another excuse he gives himself in order to push through with the marriage, to tie Penelope to himself forever.

Because unlike Penelope, the very idea of living without her as his wife, of not having her in his life, is and always will be an impossible notion for Colin to ever entertain.

[laurenairay]

witness all your joy - A. Svechnikov

Summary: Andrei finds himself in Cabo during bye week, where he’s facing the ex-boyfriend of his friend turning up, while managing his feelings for that friend.

Also known as: friends to lovers while dealing with a bad ex.

This is my entry for @misshoneyimhome's Birthday Festival Challenge! I had a lot of fun with this one, so I really hope you like it! Happy (early) birthday Sophia!

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: mild angst, pining, confrontation with terrible ex-boyfriend, some bad language, self-deprecation, hopeful ending

Title from I lived, by OneRepublic

~

Sun, sea, sand. Exactly what you needed.

When your friends had invited you away with them at the end of January, you hadn’t hesitated to say yes. The NHL bye week may be inconveniently timed, but considering the chaos of the Family Christmas that had just passed, you were more than ready for some actual relaxation.

And Cabo was exactly what you needed.

A private plunge pool in your suite, the hotel’s own private beach, swim-up bars, a full spa with all the massages you could possibly choose from, and incredible food? Not to mention how close it was to the vibrant nightlife but still giving plenty of privacy in the hotel itself.

The best part of it all though? Actually spending time with your friends.

Sure, half of them were in serious relationships, but the group of 15 of you that had gone away together were having a blast. With their busy schedules, alongside your own moderate schedule, having time to just have fun together like this was rare – especially with Andrei. Your tall Russian friends was just as sweet as he was generous, giving out smiles and laughter and hugs as easy as breathing, almost as easy as his blushes from Marty’s teasing.

It wasn’t exactly a secret amongst the women in the group that you had a thing for him, but in all the time you’d known him you’d both never been single at the same time. Until now. Your messy break-up at the end of last year (hence the chaotic Christmas) had been exactly why you needed this break away in the sunshine with your friends, and for the first time, Andrei didn’t have a pretty petite blonde girlfriend attached at the hip.

The girls said it was fate. You knew it was a coincidence.

Either way, you were more than happy just to let yourself look at his bare muscled chest and thick thighs in those short swimshorts without feeling any guilt whatsoever. It was almost enough.

~

Sun, sea, sand. Exactly what he needed.

Andrei knew that moment that Pyotr told him you were joining the group heading to Cabo (along with Freddie, Jarvy, Marty and his wife, Brady and his wife, Neci and his girlfriend, and a few other assorted women), he was going to have a hard time saying no himself.

Despite the fact that seeing you in a bikini was sure to be the end of him.

From the first moment he’d met you all those years ago, he’d been head over heels. You’d always had a boyfriend though – always the same, tall, tanned, gym-rat type with a killer smile – so he’d tried to distract himself with other girls, but none of them had been enough, as nice as most of them were. Most of the guys knew he had a crush on you, with only a few including Pyotr knowing how deep his feelings truly ran. There was just something about you that had hooked him in right from the start, and that heart-racing cheek-heating rush wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Especially not now that he knew you were single, just like he was.

Maybe it was fate.

Maybe he needed to take a chance while you were all here in paradise to let you know how he really felt about you, just like Pyotr (and Marty, and Jarvy, and even Freddie) said. But how could he, when all eyes were on you and your eyes were not on him?

~

3 days into your trip (after a morning on the private beach and an afternoon at the spa with the girls), the group ventured down to one of the bars near Cabo San Lucas marina, ready for an evening of dancing and drinking. You had dressed to impress in your favourite slinky little dress, light make-up just highlighting your glowing skin (the heat in Cabo was no joke), and you were ready to dance until your feet hurt.

If you could take your eyes off of Andrei and his half-buttoned baby blue shirt, of course.

A couple of rounds of shots with the group couldn’t hurt to get the night started at least. As soon as the vodka was dealt with, Nykki grabbed your hand to beckon you to the dancefloor, Neci just rolling his eyes fondly at her antics, and soon enough all of the girls were in the middle of the crowd, immersed in the music. You lost track of time as you swayed to the beat, some of the guys joining you all for a few songs before leaving back to the booth that Brady had reserved for you all.

It was exactly what you needed.

Before you knew it, a couple of hours had passed, and you were more than ready for a few drinks. Nykki left the dancefloor with you, heading back to fuss on her boyfriend while you headed to the bar. Or at least you tried to head to the bar, until a large body blocked your path.

No fucking way.

“Looking good, baby.”

“I am not your baby,” you shot back, scowling up at your ex-boyfriend, “what the hell are you doing in Cabo, Mark? In January?”

Of all the places. And all the timings. Why was he here now? It had to be coincidence, right?

“I’m on a stag do for one of the guys from work…”

Of course he was.

“…I’m just as surprised to see you, don’t get me wrong. But when I spotted that sweet little ass swaying on the dancefloor, I had to say hello. Seems like fate brought us back together again, hm?”

The unmitigated gall.

“You lost all rights to stare at my ass when you cheated on me, asshole,” you spat.

It wasn’t just the once, either. Walking in on Mark and another women had been heartbreaking, even more so when you found out it wasn’t even the first time he’d slept with someone else. No, your ex didn’t even bother denying it, even going as far as to brag. Thankfully you weren’t living together, but it still hurt that the man you had been starting to see a future with hadn’t even contemplated a future with you.

The yelling and the crying and the cursing to the heavens had left you running on empty, made even worse by the fact that all of this came to light the week before Christmas – to say your family took the news well was an absolute lie. Hence the chaotic Family Christmas that you’d come all the way to Cabo to get over, and oh look here he was ruining everything again.

The last thing you needed right now was to be around him, not when you finally felt healed.

“You’re still mad about that?” he laughed, rolling his eyes, “come on, let’s just have some fun in the bathroom hey?”

Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. Your friends were right, what the hell did you ever see in this guy?

“You’re a joke. Leave me alone,” you said sharply.

But as you moved to step around him, Mark grabbed your forearm tightly, stopping you in your place. You tried tugging your arm out of his grip but he just squeezed harder, making you wince.

“Let go of me!”

“I wasn’t done talking. Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded.

“I swear I’ll make a scene, Mark, don’t even try me,” you hissed.

Mark rolled his eyes again. “Always so dramatic. I’m just being friendly.”

The audacity.

But before you could retort, you felt a body move to stand behind you. The familiar cologne immediately set your frayed nerves at ease, as did the warmth of his torso.

Andrei.

“You are not her friend. She clearly doesn’t want you touching her. Let go of her arm, now.”

The growled words emanating from Andrei’s chest made your breath hitch in your throat, surprising your ex enough for him to drop his hold on you. Out of instinct, you leaned fully backwards against Andrei’s chest, letting the heat of his body calm you, but as Andrei moved his hand to your hip to steady you, Mark’s face dropped into a sneer.

“Of course you’re fucking him now. I always knew you had a thing for him,” he scoffed.

What the hell?

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Andrei warned.

“Or what?”

Mark took one step forward, anger in his eyes, before he suddenly froze, eyes going wide as he looked over your other shoulder. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who was standing behind you and Andrei, if you were narrowing down your options.

“Is there a problem here?”

Thank fuck for Freddie.

“No, this scumbag was just leaving,” you said, voice a little shakier than you’d like it to be.

“Good. Why don’t I make sure he knows where the door is,” Freddie said flatly, brooking no argument as he loomed over you all.

You waited until Freddie had herded Mark far enough away from you before turning to face Andrei, weak smile on your face even as you missed the heat of his hand on your hip. The anger on his face surprised you, him still glaring across the room, until you rested a hand on his chest to draw his attention back. Andrei’s face immediately softened.

“Are you okay? Is your arm hurting?”

“I think I’m okay? And no, it’s only a little red, I don’t think it’ll even bruise,” you said, shaking your head, “How did you even know I was upset?”

He looked a little hesitant to answer, before his expression fell a little sheepish.

“I saw you from the booth. Your body language…I could tell you didn’t want to be near him. And the moment that Nykki said who she thought he was? I couldn’t just stay across the room, I’m sorry.”

Andrei could read your body language that easily?

“Hey, no, don’t apologise. I’m glad you came over, really. I’m pretty sure I would’ve had to do something pretty drastic to get him to leave me alone otherwise,” you said, huffing out a bitter laugh.

The soft concern on his face shifted into a hardened expression. “I hate that he’s even here, in Cabo of all places. I hate that he was trying to ruin your night. What did he even want?”

“The same old sleazy bullshit, like he hadn’t even cheated on my multiple times,” you sighed.

With the way pure rage flitted across Andrei’s face, you were glad you hadn’t told most of the group the true details of why your relationship ended.

“You are better off without him,” Andrei said firmly.

“I know,” you mused, “but thank you.”

“What can I do? How can I help?”

His sweet words made your heart ache, the difference between him and your ex-boyfriend irrefutable.

“I don’t know. I-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Freddie appeared back at your side with an unimpressed look on his face.

“That asshole is long gone. He made enough of a fuss at the door that security took notice as well, so he walked off rather than lingering,” Freddie explained, rolling his eyes, “sorry you had to deal with that. Are you okay?”

Almost as sweet as Andrei.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” you grimaced, “I’m mostly okay, but I think I’m done with the night? He’s kinda ruined the vibe for me.”

Freddie nodded his understanding, but Andrei frowned.

“Do you want me to walk you back?” he asked.

You tried to ignore Freddie’s smirk. Now was not the time.

“I don’t want you to cut your night short,” you said, shaking your head.

“I’d rather make sure you get back safe, if that’s okay,” Andrei replied.

Oh wow.

“I’ll let the others know,” Freddie volunteered, innocent smile on his face.

You narrowed your eyes up at him, but he just blinked. You had no doubt exactly what Freddie was going to be telling the group. Andrei blushed slightly, rubbing the back of his neck, before seeming to steel himself.

“If you really want to go, then let’s go, yeah?” Andrei said, smiling softly.

You really were a sucker for that smile.

After a quick goodbye hug with Freddie, Andrei guided you out of the bar with a hand on the small of your back, the cooler night air washing over you like relief as the two of you started walking down the street. You glanced up at Andrei with a small smile on your face, but his gaze was a million miles away, expression so serious that it made the smile fade from your lips. Was he really that annoyed about your ex showing up?

Was he annoyed with you?

The more you thought about it, the more you couldn’t help but spiral, the alcohol of the evening not helping your downward mood despite most of its effect wearing off by the time you reached the hotel. Why wasn’t he talking to you? Why was he so silent?

“This is your room, right?”

Andrei’s low rumbling voice made you flinch, his face immediately forming into a frown.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

What’s wrong?

“Are you mad at me?” you asked softly.

As much as you didn’t really want him to confirm it, you needed to know.

“Mad at you? No of course not!” he said, clearly confused, “I’m not…I just…”

Andrei trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, an interesting blush dusting across his cheeks.

“Maybe we can talk in your room? Rather than out in the corridor?” he suggested.

Without hesitating, you unlocked the door to your room, glad more than ever that you’d chosen to have a single room. The last thing you wanted was anyone else overhearing whatever this was. Andrei shut the door behind himself, body language screaming at you that he’d never been more uncomfortable in his life, but his facial expression was determined.

Whatever he was about to say, it was what he’d been thinking about on your walk back from the bar, clearly.

“I’m not sure I know where to start,” Andrei murmured, “But I know that once I start talking, I don’t think I’m going to be able to stop, so please just let me get it all out in one go?”

Okay, now he was worrying you.

“Yeah, of course, take all the time you need,” you said softly, smiling as reassuringly as you could.

He took a shaky breath before reaching out for your hand, guiding you over to sit on the sofa next to him before your mind could even process the gentleness of his touch.

“Tonight…everything came together for me. Things have been building for a while, and I’ve been trying to come to terms with a lot of it all by myself, but it’s been hard. It’s new to me, feeling like this, but I have to tell you.”

Andrei’s words were so cryptic, confusing you even more than you already were with his strange behaviour, but as soon as he said ‘feeling like this’ your breath hitched in your throat. Was this going where you thought it was?

“You look so beautiful. You always do, but there’s just something about tonight that took my breath away, and I know I wasn’t the only one in that bar who noticed. Your ex turning up though? It made my blood boil. And when I saw him put his hand on you? I wanted to kill him. I wanted to tear him limb from limb for daring to harm you, and that scared me. No-one has ever made me feel the way you do, everything to the extreme, and tonight just topped the cake. I like you, so much, and it’s driving me crazy trying to figure out whether I could ever have a chance with you.”

“Andrei?” you whispered, mind reeling.

“I just want to see you happy, solnyshko,” he said, smiling sadly, “And if I can’t be the one to make you happy like that, please, you have to let me know so I can start getting over you.”

Solnyshko.

Start getting over you.

Oh fuck.

Your heart both soared and shattered at his closing words, and it was all you could do not to let the tears stinging at your eyes fall. He would let you go, just like that? Despite his feelings?

“I don’t want you to get over me,” you choked out.

“No?”

“No way. You are the sweetest guy I have ever met and I…”

Here goes nothing.

“…I never thought I’d have a chance with you. I never thought you’d be interested in me like that,” you admitted.

It felt silly saying it out loud, after his confession pouring out his feelings, but you couldn’t help it. You truly had thought you’d never have him looking at you like that, as anything more than a friend, so to have that possibility now? It was a little mindblowing.

“Never be…never be interested? You’re the one that always had a gymrat boyfriend!”

“And you always had a dainty little blonde on your arm!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the disgruntled expression on his face, throat still a little choked with emotion, Andrei’s face quickly melting into fondness.

“None of them are you. I want you, in every way,” Andrei murmured.

“In every way?”

You could only hope you understood what he meant.

“Every way. Not just sex. I want to take you on dates, hold your hand, kiss you in public, wake up with you in my arms, dance with you in your kitchen, introduce you to my family…I want everything,” he said softly, and yet firmly enough that you believed every single word.

This felt like a dream. This felt too good to be true. And yet you knew it was real by the earnest emotion on Andrei’s face. He was offering you everything you’d wanted since you’d met him up on a silver platter – how could you not take it with both hands?

“Kiss me,” you said, more than a little breathless.

“Yeah?” he grinned.

“Yeah.”

Andrei wasted no time in cupping your face in his hands and kissing you firmly, over and over again. You couldn’t help but whimper against his lips as his embrace consumed you, Andrei just moaning softly at the sound, everything lost in a feedback loop as his tongue stroked against yours. His kisses were passionate, overwhelming, a little rough, and more than you could ever have imagined in your deepest of daydreams.

He broke away with a jolt, breathing heavily, looking at shaken as you were, eyes a little wild for a moment or two until he came back to himself. Andrei rested his forehead against yours for a breath before pressing a kiss to your forehead, dropping his hands from your face to lean back a little, looking at you properly once more.

“We have a lot to catch up on, hm?” Andrei mused.

That was one way to put it. Decisions, decisions, all of them tempting. You knew what you wanted – but what about him?

“Why don’t we talk about it all a bit more in my private plunge pool?” you suggested, tilting your head slightly as you stood up from the sofa.

“I don’t have my swimsuit with me right now,” Andrei said frowning.

“Who said anything about a swimsuit?” you said innocently. Andrei looked stunned for a moment, until you slid the thin straps of your dress over your shoulders. His eyes filled with a fire that you’d only dreamed of seeing directed your way, and it only took you stepping backwards a few steps for him to stand up from the sofa too and walk towards you with determination, your heart racing. Finally.

[sage-nebula]

"Suffer No Fools" - Shiver vs. Marina Analysis

It's been a few days since "Suffer No Fools" released, but I wanted to go ahead and release my analysis of Shiver's and Marina's verse since that's the one that has caused the most discussion within the fandom. I've seen a lot of debate over Marina's section in particular, with people unsure whether she was being sincere or sarcastic, and I think the actual answer is a little more complicated than one or the other, at least with regards to the first couplet of lines both she and Shiver sing. Of course, people are free to interpret this song however they wish, but after seeing numerous interpretations I personally didn't vibe with, I just wanted to put my own out there, breaking it down line by line.

So! Here we go.

Exchange 1:

Shiver: "Your haunting voice -- there's no escape. How nice it must be for your fans." Marina: "You're far too kind! I love your vibe. I can learn so much from your style."

Analyzing from dialogue only:

Shiver is insulting Marina's voice by calling it haunting and saying there is no escape, insinuating she wishes there was one. She says how nice it must be for Marina's fans, again implying that she isn't one.

Marina says that she loves Shiver's vibe, which on the surface could be a compliment, but given the context (a music battle) it could also be a Mean Girl "ooh I love your [thing] :)" passive-aggressive drawing-attention-to-something-ugly insult. More direct though, is the "I can learn so much from your style"; you can learn what not to do from someone just as much as you can learn what to do from someone. Marina's engaging in plausible deniability here.

HOWEVER. Lyrics are NOT the only thing that need to be analyzed from this first verse, which is arguably the MOST important exchange between these two. Instead, we need to look at how these lines are delivered.

Shiver is singing in a traditional Japanese folk singing style, specifically a style based on Shima-uta, which her voice actress has a background singing in. Unfortunately, I don't know the actual term for this style of singing, only that it's not kakegoe, something Shiver also does that is different from this. Anyway, in these lines specifically Shiver is singing in her Shima-uta style, a style that she has presumably been practicing since she was a small child, a style that is probably culturally significant to the Hohojiro clan. Singing in this style is not something that just anyone can do. It's completely different from singing in a (for lack of a better word) "western" style. The way you breathe is completely different. The way you incorporate your voice into your breathing is completely different. So by singing in this style, which Shiver has been doing practically her whole life and which, presumably, only she of the four there can do, Shiver is FLEXING on Marina regardless of what lyrics she chooses to sing.

But then Marina, who grew up under the domes in Inkadia, who presumably has never heard Shima-uta before she started listening to Deep Cut and heard Shiver sing, who presumably has had absolutely no training whatsoever on this style of song . . . mimics it perfectly and flexes on Shiver right back.

Could Marina's words to Shiver be interpreted as passive-aggressive in turn? Yes. But does it matter? No, not really. Because in this first verse, Marina's ACTUAL comeback is to take the style of singing that Shiver has been perfecting her entire life and throw it right back in her face despite having never (as far as we or Shiver know) practiced it herself. Shiver was flexing by presumably doing something Marina couldn't do, only for Marina to do it flawlessly, being every bit as divine with a voice so fine as Pearl said she was previously. Marina says "I love your vibe" so she takes it. Marina says "I have so much to learn from you" but does she really, when she can already do exactly what Shiver can, and has, just now, right in front of her?

And Shiver noticed, hence:

Exchange 2:

Shiver: "You remind me of my neighbor's little daughter . . . What's that saying? 'Octo see, octo do.'" Marina: "Glad you approve -- your praise has left me moved. Thanks to your notes, I'll find my groove!"

Shiver drops the Shima-uta singing, because now there's no point. Marina can also sing in that style, so it's no longer a flex. Shiver lost ground on that one, so instead we're back to the same (again, for lack of a better word) "regular" style of singing that everyone else is using. For that reason, we can go back to analyzing purely based on the words alone.

Shiver is calling Marina a copycat, essentially, because Marina copied her Shima-uta singing style in the previous verse (hence why Shiver had to drop it, as previously noted). Marina then gives her "glad you approve -- your praise has left me moved" . . . basically noting that by Shiver accusing her of copying, Shiver is saying that Marina -- someone who just tried the singing style off the cuff right there on the stage for the first time -- was just as good as Shiver, someone who has trained in that style her whole life. The audience saw for themselves that Marina was able to emulate the style, but Shiver saying, "you copied me!" is basically admitting that Marina was just as good as her in Shiver's own eyes, and Shiver is a pro. That's Shiver's aggravation handing Marina the win and Marina smiling wide as she accepts it.

Exchange 3:

Shiver: "Oh, look at the time. Isn't it getting late?" Marina: "Not at all! I could go on like this all night long."

This one doesn't even really need an analysis. For all that she prides herself on being "so cool even sharks call her cold-blooded," Shiver is known for being easily irritated and riled when she's losing due to her competitive nature. Marina successfully got under her skin, and this is her trying to end the battle fast because she didn't have any further comebacks. Marina, meanwhile, gives the classic "I could go on all night" because she's not riled at all, and is instead perfectly comfortable in this environment, knows what she's doing, and has had the upper hand from the start.

It goes back to another post I made about Experience vs. Inexperience. Shiver and Frye are still new idols, whereas Pearl and Marina have been at this for a long while. And while off the stage Marina is a sweet, kind, gentle person who will go out of her way to help others, and can sometimes be a little spacey or naive, she's also a 23-year-old literal genius who has been in the music industry for years now and knows full well what a rap / music battle is and knows her way around a stage. Personally, I found it to be a little infantilizing to insinuate that she "didn't realize Shiver was insulting her," when not only do I think she knew full well, but also she was the one with the upper hand not because of sick burns (that's Pearl's department), but because of sheer innate musical talent.

But those are just my thoughts! Everyone else is free to have their own.

[glassesfreekjr]

"We are whoever we choose to be. And I have chosen to be the one who takes things away from you — if only out of obligation. You know how it is."

(Artwork by @fineanddang. Reposted with permission.)

Came up with some twist-villain!Dedf1sh level music. We don't yet know what to make of Acht and Marina's shared history, so I'm envisioning some kind of self-imposed grudge tempered by her own morbid curiosity.

The reason Dedf1sh allowed herself to be ensnared by Tartar was because of Acht's desire to hone her music-making craft, right? If this process took place after Marina heard the Calamari Inkantation, then those two events could be linked.

If music can reformat the minds of a thousand soldiers and compel a dear friend to leave it all behind; to leave me behind... then what else can music do? How can I harness that power to my own ends? What if I could make the Inkantation my bitch?

Acht Mizuta may have perished down there in the Deepsea Metro, but her sense of purpose did not.

(audio source list can be found on my YouTube)

[iraprince]

That chart of your GW2 ocs has compelled me so much. what is gw2. how do you make gay plants in it

guild wars 2 is my favorite mmo of all time! it's free to play, tho if u ever do end up paying for the expacs/living world seasons and stuff they all have flat costs, no monthly subscription ever. (this is what i really like about it, bc games w subs stress me out... if something has a sub and i don't play every day i feel like i'm wasting money or something lol vs gw i can fall off the wagon for weeks/months and no harm done)

ANYWAY our gay plants are one of the playable races -- they're kind of gw2's version of elves, loosely, but they're called sylvari and imo they're much cooler. rather than being "born" they just Wake Up as fully formed adults from the pods of a magical tree and gain mmmmost (but not all) of their consciousness/general understanding of the world from a shared dream that contains the memories and life experience of the sylvari who have come before them, and at the beginning of the plot sylvari as a people have only existed for like. ~20 years, which i think is a really, really compelling hook. also i'm being serious and textual abt the gay thing, arguably the most central sylvari npc is a lesbian and her relationship w her ex is plot important, one of the starter missions u can choose as a sylvari centers around helping a gay couple and the dialogue is Really Insistent abt not letting it be interpreted as "wow they're good friends!!" etc etc

there's also an Evil Faction of sylvari called the nightmare court who feel the dream is overly controlling/sanitized and want to "liberate" sylvari by balancing out the experiences contained in the dream w more negative and painful ones instead -- in-game more often than not they're written pretty flatly as cackling puppy-kicking supervillains but i think they're really interesting lol, a huge chunk of my + marina's ocs are either current or ex nightmare courtiers (including merrit and glyndwr!)

okay wait wait wait im getting distracted and infodumping u can learn all this stuff yourself by getting into the game. gotta rein it in. uhhh let me leave u w screencaps of a bunch of our ocs so u can see some character creation options bc they're so cool

also hey furries: fuicking excellent beast race with close to no sexual dimorphism.

(the one on the left in this pic is an m model and on the right is the f model. the main difference between charr gender models, literally, is how fluffy their tails are. charr fucking rule)

[somedayillbepeterpan]

i'm back with my obsession with how Luke Newton played Colin Bridgerton.

and i just realised-- the last fictional character i have felt this deep affection for was Peeta Mellark. Another sweet, soft boy. i'm a sucker for self deprecating boys.

i present today, A and B grilling C from S03e05. Colin is an open book from this episode onwards (so much so that we had to choose between understanding his anger at the LW fallout and wanting to thump his head to just talk to Pen).

Also, he's really pretty when he looks so smug and proud for wifing Penelope up.

(i only did Colin gifs but i'm trying something new when creating gifsets. i apologise once more for the rough quality. i'm still learning. practicing with Luke Newton's face is helping me. there is a combination of comments and dialogue below)

Anthony: Devon was very well, but...we have bigger fish to fry. Benedict: Hm.. Colin: Hm...

look at this face. he's so proud!

Anthony: First...(sighs) explain. [Benedict chuckles]

Anthony: Come now, you must admit, it's all rather sudden.

i loved how he recognised that his betrothal to Marina was rushed but that he also passively slagged A and B for what they think of his life decisions

favourite RMB quote

him recognising that his feelings were dormant instead of a thunderbolt speaks volumes to me because he took his time in understanding them. so from the time that he confesses, he was all in because he knows and fully understands Pen was the one for him and no one else.

i'm going to attempt to dissect every Colin speech because i saw his pattern of self deprecation in all of his love confessions. i just love this sweet soft boy!

[Benedict sighs] Colin: Mm... Anthony: Have you said these words to her?

that smug face!

Anthony: Ah, it's swift because you-- Benedict: Are you going to duel with your own brother, or...

Anthony: Well, you are marrying her, and for all the right reasons, it seems. That's all that matters.

Anthony: But tell her.

what a good obedient little brother

Benedict: First...to your wives. Anthony: Congratulations. Colin: Thank you.

people think he smelled his fingers here but i think he was wiping the side of his mouth of the drink he just had

They can never make me hate you, Colin my sweet, soft boy.

[bigblab-talktotalk1]

I feel a lot of people misunderstand Portia in why she ask about Colin's love

One thing I find really disheartening about reactions/opinions on this episode is the conceptual clap backs of "Did Debling love her?!?!"

🙄😮‍💨

Because that response makes me feel someone is missing something in the storytelling. As a response, it has never made sense to me, because.... he never had to!

'Lord Debling was a reasonable match." This guy has acted in every single way The Gentleman. This guy has money, this guy came to Lady Featherington like a respectable adult and asked for Penelope's hand, this guy will be absent, and so THIS guy also Won't Hurt Her! She laid this out in episode 4, To Portia he is an IDEAL catch.

Then comes this news of Bitch-boy Colin (painting from a Portia-esque perspective), that she read IN WHISTLEDOWN!! He does not hold water with her 🚫 This Season, all she has seen of this dude is that he is a flirt. "The most desired man of the season." Regardless of what she thinks Penelope's feelings likely are, she only sees that Colin is NOT serious about her. Freshly back from galavanting across the sea, she does see Colin as serious PERIOD. All the letters Pen wrote, All the teas at Bridgerton house....for years Portia has watched him NEVER WANTING HER! Yet somehow an engagement occurred some time between her daughter leaving a party and family breakfast the next morning... 🤨🧐 Chat shit right?? Her mind must be screaming: HELP ME UNDERSTAND! (In a snarky, passive aggressive way - because she's the one)

---

Portia has a right to feel awful disrespected that Colin "I'm a gentleman" Bridgerton didn't come to her first. Like they don't have beef!! 😳 He's been engaged to someone from the Featherington household before, yet... there was no wedding. But Pen (who she thinks of is having less attractions than Marina) somehow is different?

You know who extended the olive branch to the Featherington name to help saved them from drowning in the social ruin of the reveal of Marina's pregnancy? DAPHNE! He was mad at Marina sure, but you know who he showed he didn't care what happened to while he turned his back? You Penelope!! 🤷🏻‍♂️He could have helped soften the blow like Kate, Edwina, and Anthony tried to do after their failed wedding. But he didn't. And that's who Pen threw away an entire future to gamble on?? 🫨😣

---

And while Portia doesn't know it yet, the fault for them being in that super precarious social is the SAME EXACT fucking person who is standing in front of her like she don't smell her own shit!! (personal mad when sitting in Portia's perspective)

---

THAT 'S the guy Pen wants Portia to celebrate, who Pen believes is a better choice. Portia's looking for the better. "What more can you ask for?" she says an episode 4. The only thing Penelope seemed to believe held her back from commiting to Debling as her husband is this 'Love' nonsense. So if Colin is the Superior choice, he must be giving her what she thought was missing from a marriage, something she thought Debling couldn't provide!

"You have it?" - Portia.

Penelope says she's SURE he CARES about her. But 'care' wasn't the exceptional parameter? To be so certain that you just threw away a good 90% qualification-meeting gentleman, you must have heard this truth that gives you that 10% to match the fantasy were "LOVE"(which Big P don't believe in) is. Right? You thought, you know, but what did he say it??? Has he told you he's giving you what makes choosing him over Debling worth it? Are you getting what you gambled for?!

Portia looks DEFEATED because Pen is betting on fantasies and wishes, without even the vocalized proof of Colin's feelings!!!!!!

"Oh Penelope"= "Girl I feel bad for you", "you sweet summer child." She's repulsed that Pen was SO short-sighted.

I feel like while her reaction is extreme and harsh, it really isn't too difficult to imagine a semi-reasonable parent (with Portia's trauma) may be distraught hearing that their daughter chose to follow a career in ..... like the Arts, that she loves (Colin), when she already had a place at Yale law School (Debby). Without Colin's declaration it's like she mailed in her withdrawal letter and is packing to move into an artist collective commune -- without a lease! Not even guaranteed a spot, setting fire to your previous life plans! It is not right, and it is not okay to treat your children as if they need to live their life as you would. However, for someone who holds security above all Pen has thrown away her last chance at a good life. Pen has shattered a chance at bedrock that Portia knows Pen don't even understand how much she should value! Portia has shielded her from how it feels to watch the ground you've built your life on crumble from underneath her. The fear of having no husband, no son, and no money. Which I think adds to the anger in her tone.

Debling never NEEDED to love Penelope. Why he was a better, more secure match than Colin was everything BESIDES love. What makes Debling a valuable prospect has a very little overlap with what makes Colin Penelope's first choice. Therefore trying to grade them on the same standard..... it doesn't matter if Portia cares about love, it doesn't matter if Debling would EVER say he loves Penelope. So while it matters if Colin has told her that he loves her, he's the only one who has to.

---

I do not think she is right all the time, or even often. But one can likely tell from the above that I'm a Portia Featherington fan. I'm a fan of food in tummies and shoes on feet. Did she decide she needed big bucks to eat and dress the way she wanted.......👀🙄

---

As someone who looks at Colin as an insecure 23-year-old male... He is my baby. I defend all his big emotions. When he's having a temper-tantrum, I let him kick himself tired. I'm never villainizing him for basically anything he says or does because..... I know he's really a soft boy. And I know Pen doesn't mind. But that doesn't mean we can blame Portia (without having the audience view) for seeing him differently.

[greeneyessmize]

So, about Marina.

We need to talk this out. Let's go through her journey step by step.

Upon arrival, Marina thinks she may just be waiting on letters from George so they can run away together but she is losing hope. Then she realizes she is definitely pregnant. Then come the fake letters.

Desperation and survival instinct start to gnaw at her. She is looking out for not only herself. She does try to change that but fails, and accepts that the pregnancy is going forward.

So she decides to make the best of it and find a husband as soon as possible. Preferably a nice, naive, young man with decent enough money.

She has several, and I do mean several suitors, she could choose from. But she settles on Colin Bridgerton and his sweet puppy dog innocence.

She knows Pen is fond of him, but she blocks it out. She doesn't care. She focuses on Colin. The easy low, ripe hanging fruit. Who wouldn't?

Then she realizes Pen actually loves him. This will not stop her. She will stamp out this crush to ash if she has to. She's betting her life on this. Pen means nothing to her here.

She is not in this for love. Love betrayed her and put her in this mess. She wants an easy marriage with no uncomfortable questions. Right and wrong don't matter because she has already had wrong done to her.

Now Colin.

He's a young man. Hopeful, bright eyed, romantic, inexperienced.

He participates in the marriage mart because some of it is fun. There is not too much pressure on him as a 3rd son. He gets to dance and flirt, and chat with Pen. How is that not delightful?

Then along comes Marina. She is a glittery new addition to the ladies he has mostly seen here or there all his life. And everyone is interested in the shiny new toy.

Then she shows interest in him. She flirts with him. When she could seemingly have almost anyone, she lets her eyes brighten for him.

He is easily charmed. Marina, for all he and the other boys of the ton can tell, is an attractive young woman. When she decides to show him singular attention he believes it is love and his easygoing heart wants to return that, being a genuine and open person.

He is easily manipulated into an engagement, thinking that this is natural and right. But his passion never really shows, does it? He pulls back from kissing her when she is scandalously forward with him. He does not seek extra excuses to meet her in the market or at tea or at the garden entrance to the Featherington estate for example.

No. He just insists he is a gentleman.

Then he drops her as soon as her manipulations are revealed. He is angry. He is hurt. But it's like a betrayal of a new friend, not a truly wounded heart. A passionately in love man would try to justify her actions or find a way to get past this. But he just lets it drop and goes traveling to soothe his bruised ego.

Then, there is Penelope.

Sweet, shy Pen.

She is so happy to have a friend in her very own home who is kind to her. It seems like a dream come true at first. She says lovely things about Marina in LW.

Then she realizes Colin is truly interested in Marina. She hates it, but doesn't fight it at first. Penelope has already in many ways given up on Colin ever looking at her the way he looks at Marina. So she bites her tongue. She doesn't discourage the two from becoming closer, but she is not doing much to stop it either.

Then she finds out Marina's secret. She learns about George and cake and that Marina must marry in one way or another. Pen wants to help. She really does.

But she just can't stand that Marina would trick Colin. Her love for Marina is enough to ignore her tricking anyone else. Her love for Colin is so much that she wants him to be happy any way possible.

And she knows figuring out the first child is not his and then duplicity of Marina's affections would not make Colin Bridgerton happy. Unlike most men in the Ton, he knows what love is. His parents were a love match. He would understand eventually that Marina was just placating him whenever he engaged with her emotionally.

So. Having appealed to both Marina, who crushed her heart into bits efficiently, and Colin, who metaphorically ruffled her hair and told her to run along... what options were left to Pen?

Directly tell someone like her mother? She already knew and approved. Violet? Well isn't that terrifying to a shy young woman who still wants Colin's friendship? Eloise? Too mercurial, she might support the match or at least loudmouth that it was Pen who told her. Again potentially ending her friendship with Colin.

Remember, her friendship with Marina was already over, Marina just did not know it yet. You can't brutally crush someone's most treasured, secret desire (realistic or not) and have them continue to love you like nothing happened.

So, Pen uses her last resort when she learns of the pending elopement. The one thing she can do to save Colin from unhappiness and to keep her one small shred of her own happiness: being Colin's friend. She revealed Marina's secrets to the Ton.

Did this maximize damage to Marina? Yes. Did it also damage Colin? Fractionally, both compared to what was dealt to Marina and compared to the damage he would have suffered in a marriage where Marina came to merely tolerate him. (As evidenced by her entire unamusement at his olive oil joke in Season 2.)

Don't forget that Penelope also hurt herself in this. You don't sob in your best friend's arms in celebration. She broke a part of herself to do this to Marina and to Colin. She probably doubted every second of everything and a part of her always will. Her price was not public, it was not outwardly devastating, but she took damage too.

----------

In conclusion, Marina and Penelope were both some level of wrong and Colin was the blind fool in the middle. The flavors of wrong were very different, and so were the levels of damningness.

In their own ways, I can forgive each of them. Admittedly, I forgive Pen more. But that has to do with my life experiences. Former wallflower here, married to a man who is now her best friend. I have never gotten pregnant and been abandoned (though being dead is hardly George's fault here). But I can understand how desperate, how calculating that could have made me, at least in that era. Especially with people like Portia Featherington as your primary caretaker and maternal figure.

I really hope that Pen and Marina both get a chance a chance to gain closure over this peacably before Marina dies. I don't think Pen deserves to feel guilt over Marina's death. Especially as book Marina seemed to have severe depression and well, Marina is likely to have depression too considering her loss of George.

Now, if part 2 of Season 3 could just be here already, that would be absolutely lovely!

[pinkcasket]

ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features on the c-ptsd

[stylespresleyhearted]

what’s the secret project you posted 👀

oh gosh i keep meaning to answer this and then i keep forgetting or pushing it back for reasons unknown to me i think im just unaccustomed to having any asks lol but anyways this is something that actually started because of a certain thing me and marina yell about when it comes to austin and then as our love for callum grew it came to something else grand and beautiful. now it’s only something that has been discussed in the chat, it has no doc or nothing official to it, it may never even come to fruition (marina is already gifting us with so much goodness in the fic worlds she dabbles in)

but i will share some of it and feel free to come further talk about it if it interests you 😘

Warnings: nsfw below the cut, open relationship, threesome, guy x guy, guy x guy x girl

So we’re all aware of how Austin put his blood, sweat, tears, and soul into his Elvis role. This man gave it his all and I’m truly so grateful to him for it because in my opinion (and most importantly in Lisa Marie’s opinion) he did Elvis Presley justice.

• Bree is a famous and highly esteemed guitarist, singer, and lyricist. She’s won multiple Grammies and written for and with Lana Del Rey, Arctic Monkeys, etc., that’s more her vibe. Baz hires her on during the making of Elvis movie so she could help him modernize the soundtrack and help with the choosing of songs. Maybe she’s even there when Austin gathers all the people from the record label and has them ridicule Austin after his first run through.

• But she’s there before filming and she’s there during filming and her and Austin even shack up together for a while during the first COVID lockdown, spending time with him in his apartment and staying up at all hours of the night to help him get certain scenes right. The bed sheets are tangled, kisses are shared, breakfast is eaten in bed not in the kitchen and there are multiple walks on the beach taken together.

• Bree tries her best to be there for him through all of it. She can sense he’s about to sky rocket and rightfully so, she doesn’t think anyone around can currently measure for his talent. She tries to be a soundboard and a friend and a girlfriend of sorts and a co worker and he’s got her playing all these different roles to keep up with him but keep in mind he never asked her to do any of that. She’s doing it because she loves him, maybe she isn’t in love with him or if she is she isn’t aware of it yet but she does love and care for him.

• And he’s going through his shit. He isn’t sure where Austin begins and Elvis ends and he isn’t in the headspace for a relationship, especially with Bree who deserves the world so when he’s sick as a dog and bed ridden before heading to London he makes sure to have the conversation with her. They were never official. Never went public or had rumors swirl. It’s better to end it on a good note and leave it how it is.

• So consider his surprise when a few months into filming MOTA, Bree shows up on Callum’s arm being introduced as his girlfriend. It’s supposed to be a lads night and Barry dragged him out and now someone who he calls one of his closest friends is introducing Bree as his current girlfriend. A close friend who he goes on walks in the parks with, who places kisses on his cheek after a few drinks, who places his hand on the small of Austin’s back when he approaches him, who pinches his cheeks and welcomed him with open arms. Dating someone who was there at his worst and gave him her heart and stayed up entire nights talking him down when his anxiety was too high and made him do self care when he forgot he was supposed to be his own person.

• and see, Callum and Bree are both Brits so they run in semi same circles and they knew of each other and were friends but Callum was with Vanessa Kirby and they were in love and for a while Bree was with Alex Turner and them afterwards there was Austin. So Callum and Bree were already friends and when they run into each other at a record shop and then head to lunch after and maybe Callum gave her a kiss goodbye when they went separate ways - it all just grew from there.

• so maybe Austin feels a green jealous monster growing inside his chest but who he’s jealous of he’s unsure and a larger part of him is actually happy for both of them. They’re good people, they love each other and both deserve each other.

• they’re suddenly everywhere. She accompanies Callum on set and it’s clear to everyone how in love they are and one time when they’re filming the POW scenes and everyone’s on lunch Austin is looking for peace and quiet so he wanders into their “bunks” but there right in front of him - Callum holding Bree up against the wood panel walls, pounding into her as she moans his name so prettily, his sheepskin jacket still on and making him sweaty. Callum’s eyes open and he catches Austin walking, Austin who trips over his own feet to back away but Callum just smiles and winks at him.

• and later Callum approaches Austin with a high five and a cheeky, “see how good I was giving it to her, mate?”

• and fuck, Austin gets hard thinking about it. Gets hard thinking about Bree’s moans and Callum’s grunt and his sweat and her breasts bouncing against his chest.

• then filming wraps and Austin’s free of them. Doesn’t have to be in there presence every day anymore and he meets someone, a nepo baby who’s beautiful and kind and he’s in a place where he feels he can be with someone so he goes for it and he falls in love.

• and MOTA press isn’t until 2024 so it’s two years of only a handful of run ins with them but then press starts and news break: Callum and Bree are engaged. And the entire cast and crew are happy and they all celebrate.

• She didn’t join Elvis press because she was touring.

• so now Austin is around his engaged friends and he has mixed feelings regarding both of them. See he’s happy and he loves his girlfriend and his career is good but if he’s being honest something is missing and when he wants to torture himself he admits he knows exactly what it is. And he’s doing interviews and Bree is backstage and Callum’s always so touchy and so kind in his words in regard to Austin and one day Callum admits Bree told him what went down between Bree and Austin and Callum’s a confident guy, he assures Austin it’s all fine.

• But maybe it’s the first screening of MOTA, and Callum and Bree are tired of Austin’s sad puppy dog eyes every time they catch him watching them so Bree corners Austin backstage. Gets close and starts palming him through his pants, assuring him Callum wouldn’t mind, in fact Callum has been purposely teasing Austin during interviews trying to get him to cave.

• Callum and Bree both decided if they all wanted it how could it be wrong? Why not go for it?

• And Bree’s falling to her knees and taking Austin in her mouth, pretty pouty lips wrapped around him as she takes him all the way in and suddenly Callum is there, watching them, talking her through it.

• “Isn’t she phenomenal, mate? Had to work with her to get rid of that gag reflex and now she can deep throat me.”

• and Callum waits until Austin mewls his name and calls him over, begging him to be a part of this somehow, to please hold him. So Callum is joining them, Bree so pretty on her knees between them and Callum is flicking Austin’s nipple and letting Austin let his moans out in his neck.

That’s all we have more to come soon if ya’ll wish 🌚

• oh yeah there’s a scene where Bree holds Austin’s hand the first time Callum fucks him because she’s aware of the pain of how large Callum is.

@precious-little-scoundrel

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Birthday Buddies - Max Verstappen

<word count - 3009>

"OK Maxie, here you go," you said, handing him the envelope with his name scrawled on the front. "Thank you, my love," he smiled, running his fingers under the flap to open it. He eyed you suspiciously as he didn't see a card in the envelope, instead seeing a folded piece of paper. 

Unfolding it, he saw the words written on the page. 'Max, as you know, today is your birthday! You're 26, and have already achieved so much, and I am so proud of you! To find your gift, you have to use your brain a bit... So, your first clue is the place we went on our first date,'

"Making me use my brain... Honestly, my love?" he sighed.

"Yes, now, take me to where we had our first date," you smugly smirked. Max figured he may as well play along. You had planned it all out, and he already knew you had put a lot of effort into it. Plus, it was your birthday too, so he had to listen to you just as much as you listened to him. 

"OK, OK, follow me," Max smiled, taking your hand and leading you out of your apartment. He took you through the winding streets of Monaco, the sun slowly setting over the city. You arrived outside of a small cafe that he took you to, because it was out of the way of the world and you could get to know each other, without the prying eyes of the world on you. 

"Good job Max, you have unlocked the next clue!" You smiled, handing him another, identical envelope as he opened it. "So you could just let me skip straight to the end, but you're choosing not to?" 

"Where's the fun in that? I thought it would be fun to take a trip down memory lane," you said, the both of you remembering the magic that was your first night out. Max thought it was a nice idea, since you had done a lot together since you had started going out, and these were definitely some of his favourites. 

He thought he had blown it after your first date, since he was a stuttering, babbling mess due to how much he liked you. He could barely hold a conversation without being gobsmacked that you were there with him. 

He just couldn't get over how much he liked you, but he thought he had ruined any chances with you. Little did he know, you found it endearing how nervous he was. "Yeah, I guess it is fun," he nodded, unfolding the next piece of paper. 

'Well done, but you're not quite near the finish line yet. Next spot: Where did we have our first kiss?' he read outloud. "You really have to make this a bit harder, these are too easy," he shook his head, taking your hand again. 

It wasn't too far away from the cafe, and it was out on the marina. Some of the boats had their lights on, and the buildings behind you were also lighting up. "You're not in the right spot, hang on," he said, placing his hands on the sides of your arms and shifting you so you were stood by the exact palm tree on the marina yacht club walk. 

"There, we are in the perfect spot," he said, standing in front of you. He remembered gazing at you as you looked out on all of the boats, your eyes glittering under the marina lights. You were entranced by the way the sea sparkled, and how the boats gently bobbed on the surface of the water. 

There was no resisting the urge to kiss you when you noticed him staring, and it was the best decision he had ever made. He drowned in the feeling of holding you close, getting to have his lips against yours. It was like sparks flew whenever he touched you. 

"Yes we are, meaning you get the next clue," you smiled, the memories making you feel drunk with happiness. "OK, this is kind of a two in one," you told him, fishing the next envelope out of your bag. 

'You can't have possibly forgotten this one, because I know I can't, and I don't think you'll ever let me! Take me to the first place that you told me you love me...' he read, a smirk dancing on his lips. "Oh I will never forget this one," he smiled, grabbing your arm.

You were almost reluctant to put this as a clue, since it was a bittersweet memory. Max had taken you to the most beautiful restaurant you had ever seen, and it was still one you frequented now. 

Then, he had taken you on a short walk around the streets of Monaco, before stopping you at a bench by the sea. He was so nervous, since he was about to tell you his feelings. You, on the other hand, were nervous because you were sure you were going to throw up. 

You had felt off all day, but you weren't going to cancel on Max, so you just grinned and bore it. But now, your actions were proving to have consequences. As Max stopped you by the bench, you remembered every little detail of the events that unfolded.

He sat you down, just like he did two years ago, and took your hands. As the both of you thought back to that night, it was as if it were yesterday. Max looked beyond nervous as he looked at you, terrified you weren't going to feel the same way.

Current Max started to stutter, reenacting the moment. "So, Y/N, I... Uhm-" he fumbled, jittering around just like he did. "I love you," he blurted out, and you could have sworn you were back there. "I-" you started, before turning around and pretending to wretch into the bin behind you. 

In the memory, Max didn't care that he could have just ruined everything and simultaneously embarrassed himself, he just cared that you were OK. He rushed to your side, before sitting you back down. 

Now, he said the exact same line he had said, "Me saying I love you wasn't that bad, was it?" he said, and it caused a smile to form on your face both times. "I do love you Max, I just feel awful," you said, leaning into him like you always did.

"That was a weird night," he smiled.

"It was. I was surprised you still loved me after that one, it was the worst timing possible," you laughed, looking at his dazzling smile. "I couldn't fall out of love with you for something so small, I was just relieved you felt the same, my love," he said, waiting for the next clue.

"Next up, the penultimate clue," you said, handing him the final of the normal envelopes for the night. 'Since it's your birthday, it wouldn't be a birthday treasure hunt without sending you to the place where we found out we have the same birthday!' 

"This has been the easiest treasure hunt I have ever been on," he smirked, walking off and expecting you to follow him. You had picked all the spots quite close together, so that you wouldn't have to walk too far. 

"OK, here we are," he said, just stopping in the middle of the street. It had simply come up in conversation when you were walking and talking, and the two of you were both shocked, but also excited. 

Ever since, you both went all out to have the best day the both of you could ask for. "Any reason you sent us here or?" he asked, rocking back and forth on the spot. 

"No, I just thought it was relevant," you shrugged, producing the final envelope of the excursion. "This one might be harder for you, but I don't know," you told him, handing him the golden object. 'Finally, take me to the place where I first fell in love with you,' it said.

Max looked confused, and you could see the cogs turning in his mind. "I would have remembered if you had told me where this was," he said, not moving from the spot as he thought. 

"Would you like a lifeline? You can phone a friend, take the bonus clue, or have me point you in the right direction," you told him. 

"I'll take the bonus clue," he decided, waiting for whatever it was going to be. 

"You have selected: 'Y/N's Bonus Clue!'" you enthusiastically said, revealing a blue envelope with a big, orange question mark adorning the front.  "Thank you, my love," he smiled, opening the envelope and looking more confused. 

'We've already been here today...' he read to you, taking a moment to think. It could have been any of them, really, but he went for the one he thought would be most likely. "OK, follow me," he skeptically said, taking you back to the marina yacht club walk, next to the palm tree where you had shared your first kiss. 

"Unfortunately, that is the first one you have gotten wrong today. You can still use one of your life lines, those being phone a friend or have me point you in the right direction," you told him, glad you hadn't made it too easy on him. "I'll phone a friend," he said.

"Alright then, phone a friend it is," you said, pulling your phone out of your bag and dialing a mystery number. Well, it was a known number, but you had changed the contact name to mystery number. "I thought it was phone a friend?" he said, taking the phone from you. 

"It is," you nodded as if it were obvious, the mystery person picking up on the other end of the line. "Hi, this is Max, I'm doing Y/N's treasure hunt, and I'm stuck on the last clue. I've been told you might be able to help me?" he asked, feeling positively ridiculous. 

"Hi, yes I can," the person tried not to burst out laughing, "You need to take her to the place where you first figured out she was the person you wanted to spend your life with," he laughed, remembering when Max had told him that. He had found it unbelievably cheesy, yet sweet at the same time. 

"OK, thank you Lan- I mean mystery person, I appreciate it," Max giggled, now knowing where to take you. "Right, off we go," he said, leading you to the final destination. He was hoping the mystery person wasn't wrong, because that would be embarrassing. 

"Here we are," he hummed, stopping you back outside the cafe that was your first place. "I think the mystery caller sent me to the wrong place," he sheepishly said, rubbing the back of his neck. Surely you hadn't loved him since your first date, right?

"No, you're at the right spot," you reassured, letting him figure it all out in his head. "What was the clue, Max?" you prompted. 

"The place you first fell in love with me," he recited, the pieces still not fitting together in his mind. "And where are we?"

"The place we had our first date?" he said, and it sounded more like a question due to his unsurity. "Exactly, because I've always loved you. Even if I couldn't put a name to how I felt back then, now I know it was just because I had never loved anyone as much as I love you," you smiled.

"Thank you, my love, that was beautiful," he smiled, trying to contain tears at how much your words had touched him. "As for your gift, it's back at home," you said, and nothing happened. "I said, as for your gift, it's back at home!" you shouted, craning your neck so your voice would carry further around the corner. 

A man appeared from around the corner, a hood pulled up over his eyes. He dropped something by your feet, and you picked it up. "Sorry, excuse me, you dropped this," you said, but the man kept on walking. "Well isn't that strange," you said, handing him the black, leather book that the man had dropped. 

"It is, isn't it?" Max joined in, catching onto the act. He ran opened the cover, immediately realising what this was. It was a photo album, with all the pictures you had taken at those spots you had sent him to today, as well as others from other good times.

He ran his fingers over your features, noting how you hadn't changed at all in the two years you had been together. "There's not much you can do for a man who has it all," you smiled, hoping he liked it. "You're right, I do have it all, I have you," he said, cringing at himself internally.

However, you couldn't hide the goofy smile and blush that tinted your cheeks. "But this is the best gift you could have gotten me besides yourself," he said, flicking through the pages upon pages of memories, forever recorded through colour. 

"I'm glad you like it," you grinned. 

"Now come on, birthday girl, let's get you home," he smiled, tucking the album underneath his arm, looping the other around your waist as he lead you home. When you got to the door of your apartment, you noticed it was open. 

"I swore I locked this when we left..." You said, worried. You didn't want your birthdays to be ruined by someone breaking into your home. "Yeah, you did," he reassured, but he was awful at hiding the smirk on his face. 

Pushing the door open, you saw that the room was lit up in nothing but candles, and relaxing spa music was playing. "I didn't take you to a single spa while we've been globe trotting, so I thought the least you deserved was the at home Spa de Max," he explained, pushing you through the door. 

"Well I already think Spa de Max is better than any spa you could take me anywhere else," you told him, walking into the apartment. "I hope to live up to your expectations, so, go put this on, and your masseuse will be with you when you are ready," he said, handing you a fluffy white robe - just like in a spa. 

"OK," you zealously nodded, excited for what Max had in store. You did just as he had said, changing out of your clothes and into the robe. When you got back out to the living room, you saw the dining room table in the middle of the room, with what looked to be a mattress topper on top.

"Trust me on this, it is actually very comfy," Max said, standing beside the table. "On you get," he told you, and you clambered onto the table. "May I?" he said, slipping his hands into the robe by your shoulders. "Yeah, course," you agreed, letting him slip the soft fabric off your shoulders, and leaving the rest handing on you hips. 

"Lie on your front for me, my love," he said, as you maneuvered onto your front, resting your head on your arms. "Now just close your eyes, and relax," he instructed. Max dabbed some essential oils on his hands, before running them over the span of your back.

As he worked his hands into your muscles, you were trying not to fall asleep. "How did you know we'd be going out?" you asked, wondering how he had managed to sneak someone in to set the house up.

"Because your little helper is also my little helper. He told me we'd be leaving, so I sent him to set all of this up. But, don't worry, he didn't tell me a single detail about what we'd be doing," he reassured you, knowing you wouldn't want the surprise to be ruined.

"Our helper has been a busy boy," you slurred, trying to keep yourself awake by talking. 

"Aww my love, are you tired?" he teased, moving his hands up your neck and across your shoulders. "This is just so nice," you mumbled against your arms.

"Don't fall asleep just yet, you still have a few more experiences in Spa de Max," he said, his hands ceasing their movements. "That'll be hard to beat," you said, sitting up on the table. "Fine, I'll take that as a challenge," he smiled, 

When you stood off the table, Max pulled your robe back up and over your shoulders, tying the belt back up to keep you warm. "Tonight is finally the night I will allow you to put a face mask on me," he said, pushing you onto the couch and sitting next to you. 

"Really?!" You asked, gobsmacked. For some reason, Max had plainly refused to put on a face mask whenever you did, but now was your opportunity. "Yes, anything for the birthday girl," he smiled, even if it was his birthday too. The best gift for him was seeing you happy, after all. 

You tugged your headband out of your hair, slotting it onto his head as his blonde strands were pushed back out of his face. On the coffee table, Max had differents pots of face masks with pre-sliced cucumbers to choose from. "Which one?" he asked.

"I'll go for blue," you nodded as he picked up the blue pot, unscrewing the lid. Max just dipped his fingers in, practically slapping the thick substance onto your face. He slathered it around until he thought he had covered enough of the area. 

"Max, you have put it on so thickly, it'll never dry," you whined, seeing half the container was gone, meaning half was on your face. "Just means you'll be extra refreshed," he smiled, picking up the green pot and handing it to you.

You did the exact same to him, slathering more than two thirds of it onto his face, before trying to put the cucumber slices on his eyes. Before you could, he pulled you in for an affectionate kiss. "Happy birthday, my love," he smiled, tucking some of your hair behind your ear.

"Happy birthday to you too, Max, I love you," 

A/N - Happy birthday to Maxie! And to me so I guess that's fun... Have a great day!

|masterlist|

[sunarots]

so high school ━━━ atsumu miya

10. darlin’ ♡

Using the sleeve of your hoodie, you use the small mirror in an attempt to dry your tears from your eyes before Atsumu came back and caught you. Unfortunately for you, the door flies open with an instant complaint. "Can't do shit here. We need to- What's wrong?"

You bite your lip and try to stop more tears from flooding out at the thought, closing the sun visor and relaxing back into the car seat. Even though you may not be used to the doors yet, you couldn't deny that the seats were almost as comfortable as your bed. "Wakatoshi's moving to Poland." You can't stop your voice from breaking halfway through the sentence, a sign that you were very likely to keep crying about it until you would wake with a headache.

"Is he really? Wow, Adlers are going through it." He turns the key in the ignition and looks back to you when he catches you sniffle. "I'm sorry, it was rough when Shoyo left. Can't believe two of yer friends left. Let's go get KFC, yeah? Cheer ya up. I'll pay."

You look up from your lap, laughing through your tears when you catch him attempting to wiggle his eyebrows are you. "Thanks, Atsumu."

"Here, choose whatever music ya like." He passes you his phone, telling you to keep it unlocked before he carefully pulls out of the parking lot and turns to the main road.

You scroll through some of his Spotify playlists, trying your hardest not to laugh at some of the songs he had hidden among the regular ones. You settle for one of the Fall Out Boy songs in the album, and adding loads of random songs to the queue. "I can't believe he's leaving, too," you mumble, turning the music up a bit louder and settling back into the seat.

Atsumu glances over at you, catching the tear running down your cheek. "Aw, y/n, yer still gonna get to see him. He'll be playing volleyball, so ya can see him when he travels. It's not forever."

You know he's right deep down, but you still can't help but feel hurt that your two closest friends for the last two years have up and left so soon together, and so far away. You were happy for them, you really were, but... Wakatoshi was right, you did feel abandoned. Forcing the tears to stay in your eyes, you look back down at Atsumu's phone and start scrolling through his liked songs on Spotify. And, they were certainly something.

It went from Hollywood Undead, to Taylor Swift, to My Chemical Romance, to MARINA. He really did listen to everything.

"Your music taste is... something. You have Corpse Husband and Sabrina Carpenter in the same playlist." You turn his phone to him even though he can't look at it.

He glances over at you and turns into the gas station, turning his focus back onto the road. "Just means I have fun at any club," he defends himself, stopping the car. "Are ya coming in?"

You nod your head, pulling down the mirror and sighing at your red eyes.

"Here, take these." Atsumu pops open the glove compartment of the car, pulling out a sleek, black case. He removes a pair of gold aviator Ray-Bans, putting them over your eyes. "Problem solved. Can ya run ahead and grab some snacks for the apartment? Just anything, yeah?"

You nod your head, picking up your phone and purse from the floor. "See you in there."

You tuck your phone and purse into the pockets of your sweatpants, fixing the sunglasses over your eyes and walking inside. You lap around the different aisles, grabbing multipacks of crisps and some different types of biscuits. You pick up a packet of chilli crisps and scan over the different drink options waiting for Atsumu.

At the sound of girls squealing behind you catches your attention, turning around to see Atsumu being huddled by a group of four girls around your age. You catch a few words here and there, and Atsumu seems to be bathing in their compliments. You shake your head and turn back to the refrigerator, picking up a bottle of white peach Fanta and slowly walking towards the counter, hoping Atsumu would catch up to you before you were served.

Sure enough, he tapa your shoulder and squeezes in beside you in the queue. "Sorry."

"Oh my god, the Miya Atsumu is talking to me. Can you sign my boobs?" you laugh through your words, unable to keep a straight face. "You love being in the spotlight."

"So what if I do? It's nice having people who appreciate ya," he responds, nudging you forward in the queue towards the empty checkout. "Pump three, and all this."

Before you have a chance to reach for your money, Atsumu lifts his card over the reader. You sigh, picking up some of the snacks to carry them back to the car with him.

“What’s that sigh for?”

“I was gonna pay for that.”

Atsumu laughs. “With what pay check?”

Your jaw drops, a laugh escaping before you can trap it. “Wow, low blow.”

You catch the stares of the fangirls lingering on you and Atsumu, fighting your urge to stick out your tongue at them. Instead, you turn your back and focus your attention fully on the car in front of you. Atsumu dumps the snacks in the backseat, leaving you with your drink and crisps.

“White peach Fanta? Yer disgusting. Don’t drink that in my nice car.” He grimaces at the thought, walking around to climb into the driver’s seat.

“What? It’s nice!”

“Nah, yer gross. But those chilli crisps are nice. Can I get some?” He waits for you to nod your head before reaching over, opening the packet and stuffing a few in his mouth before pulling out of the parking lot and heading towards the nearest KFC. “Thanks, darlin’.”

You raise an eyebrow, side-eyeing him through his sunglasses. “Why’d you do that?”

He hums. “What?”

“You keep calling me darling.” You sit your drink down beside him, taking a couple crisps yourself.

“I call everyone that. Why, d’ya want me to stop?” Concern washes over his expression, taking a fleeting glass at you to see if you were uncomfortable. “I don’t want to make ya uncomfortable, I can stop calling ya darlin’.”

You think for a second, giving him a small smile and leaning back against the seat. “I was just curious. You can keep calling me it.”

masterlist. previous | next

summary. after your best friend reveals he’s moving out of your shared flat, you’re presented with a tough choice: let one of the creeps who are begging you to let them move in with you, or find a cheaper flat in another area of town. a do-over couldn’t have come at a better time for you, but your only option for a place to stay is with someone your best friend knew from high school, and his two teammates.

taglist (open!). @reignsaway @yuminako @thiisisntlovely @diorzs @aboutkiyoomi @spicana @bakingcuriosity @kr1nqu @savemebrazilhinata @dazqa @sereniteav @beckxisxinxlovexwithxjin @sleezzsister @hermaeusmorax @giocriedpower @sophosphorescent @gigiiiiislife @zazathezaer @rrosiitas @iaminyourfloors @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sillygooseymood

[crystallilytarot]

It's just a random little fun thingy. Choose a pic and I give you some songs. There can be some messages for you in the lyrics or in the music video.

(sorry I can't take a better picture, but these cuties are so very small)

Pile 1

Katy Perry - Harleys in Hawaii

G-Eazy & Halsey- Him & I

Avicii- Wake me up

Katy Perry - Teenage Dream

Whiz Kalifa- See you again

TXT - Lo$er =Lover

Cravity-My turn

Monsta X - Fighter

Ateez - Win

The Script - Hall of fame

Pile 2

Ari Abdul- Babydoll

Marina and the diamonds- Primadonna

The Pussycat Dolls - Don't cha

David Guetta - Hey mama

Doja Cat - You right

Payton- Rich boy

Got7 - Just right

Kehlani - Gangsta

Akon- Beautiful

Stray kıds - Case 143

Pile 3

Rupert Holmes - Escape

Ateez - Wave

Jason Derulo - Acapulco

The Weeknd - Starboy

Bebe Rexha - I got you

Chris Brown - Under the influence

Sia - Cheap thrills

Nct 127 - Touch

G-Eazy & Bebe Rexha - Me, myself & I

Maluma - Corazón