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marymary-diva17 · 6 months

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Does he still love me

female Ao’nung x neteyam

here another cross posted story I had made, and now have brought here. Angi the daughter of tonowair and ronal had become the mate of eldest son of tokru makto neteyam sully, after his clan and family came sneaking refugee and help. Angi and Neteyam had started off and friends but soon become something more over time, and soon enough the two of become a mated pair when Neteyam had confused his feeling to the girl. When they become a mated pair it soon result it ever lasting alliance between the two clans, a year later the couple will be blessed with a child.

Angi " ......." Angi was out with her son which had been named Zata it was a name that Neteyam and his family had been discussing and chosen, as it will fit the boy well.

Navi women " look at her walking around like she better then all the other female here just become she the mate with neteyam"

Navi women 2 " I still think she did something to make neteyam choose her as a mate and now loom she does next have a child with him"

Navi women 3 " I feel bad for Neteyam that he has to be mated with her he could've chosen someone from the clan, but no he picked her"

Navi women 4 " well I heard the reason they become mated was that her father didn't have to keep an eye on her, and that it will make peace between the two clans it was all made between the Tokyo makro, tonowair, and neteyam"

Navu women " no that cant be true"

Navi women 2 " I believe it do you really think neteyam will give up all the way of the forest just for her, we live on this small inland connect to the Metkayina... we will still practice the ways of the forest but everything had changed because of her and all the other Metkayina that have bene trying to find a way in our clan"

Navi women 3 " I wonder how many of these couples will stay true if we ever return to our beloved forest"

Navi women 2 " we also have to remember that tsyeira girl with loak"

Navi women " she better then her sister angi will bring down her family name I heard that the deers thought tsyeria will been a better choice for Neteyam... she doomed being mated with the clan outcast loak"

Navi women 2 " rumor going around the the elder might ask moat and Jake to remake the mates between his sons, Tsyeria and loak will be a perfect pair verse the ones they have now"

Navi women " that is so cruel no way Jake will do that to his own sons"

Navi women 4 " it true I heard even tonowari elder agree as well tsyeria and neteyam will be better match then Neteyam and angi, even some of her own people hated her and want her gone her future title of tshaik has been rumors to be give to her sister"

Navi women 3 " oh yes and it custom that the olo'eythan and tshaik will have to be mated pair or have some family connect to be true leader, and if she not tshaik the it will be bad for everyone"

Navi women 5 "what of the child"

Navi women " it an freak a future outcast look at It the boy maybe if Neteyam mates with tsyeria they will have beautiful children, verse him and the girl"

Navi women 5 " don't you all feel bad for the poor baby or angi and loak I know they might not be like everyone else, but they are still good people"

Navi women " who cared if neteyam and tsyeira end up together then loak can help raise that child no will care or know"

Navi women 5 " yes but this still mean to them and will hurt three people or more in he future"

Navi women " it for the best forever"

Angi " ......" angi felt like her heart was breaking when she was listening to this new she didn't want to belie that her Neteyam had mated with her for that reason, she had thought he really love her. She fell tears rushing down her face she didn't want to believe that neteyam had mate with her out of duty for his clan and her clan.

Angi " oh my son im so sorry" zata could feel his mother was become unsettled by the word she had heard as the group of women had left.

Angi " come on let get home I will put you down for a nap with a story and lullaby that will make you feel better" this might explain why neteyam has been distance lately from the brith of their son three months ago her family and her in-law have bene acting weird, but she couldn't allow ugly rumors and gossip like that to mess with her. She knew that neteyam love her and their son he will do anything for them he is just busy with his duties and responsibilities.

Later that night

Angi " yes I will make neteyem favorite meal it will be good for us all and maybe we can talk"

Neteyam " hey I'm home"

Angi " welcome home I was about to get started on dinner I was going to make your favorite your mom help me learn it"

Neteyem " oh well dinner is happening with my parents and your tonight"

Angi " oh that will be perfect we can bring zata with us it will ...."

Neteyam " I'm sorry it a dinner for only a fee selected guest it me, your parents, my parent, and your sister with maybe kiri and rotxo being there"

Angi " oh okay"

Neteyam " I have enough time to be here with my two favorite people"

Angi " okay" neteyam soon smile and sat down near angi after he picked up zata who was now awake Neteyam was holding his son in his ar, and soon kissed his mate forehand he had stayed for three hours before he had to leave. Neteyam didn't return home until late in the night worry angi and when she woke up the next day he was completely gone and no longer in their bed. It was hard for her to decide if he had spent the night in their bed or night.

Angi " he gone he always here when I wake up he never gone without saying a word" angi had soon eat her breakfast and feed her son before she left to do her task for the day. She hadn't seen any of her family or friends during the morning making her feel alone and sad, once again she spotted the women from before talking again.

Navi women " did you see that neteyam was at dinner with his family but his mate and child were not there, and so was loak"

Navi women 2 " yes I saw him eating dinner alone as tsyeira was having meal with the others"

Navi women 3 " I'm starting to think these are no longer rumors but true you see how her parents and neteyam parents haven't been over that much to see their first ever grandchild, and how she been slowing pseudo from her role as tshaik"

Navi women 4 " so she over and one done for we all knew this was going to happen"

Navi women 2 " we have to wait and see"

Navi women " well whatever happens I hope angi take it well we dont need her becoming jealous and take her anger out"

Navi women 4 " she won't but hey soon we will have a good oloeyath and tshaik like their parents minus the one that was supposed to rule originally" angi had avoid the group of women and soon went to a secret spot of her and sat down there, tears falling down from her face until she felt someone touch her face. She looked down and saw it was zata soon enough angi had picked up her son and smiled at the boy.

Angi " no matter what happen zata I will always love you" angi soon got up and went back to her track of the day she knew whatever came for her in the future she will raise her son with love, support, and care and she didn't know if it was going to be with her mate or by herself. She knew she was going to do her best to keep her son away from any harm that the clan will throw at him as they was her duty as a mother. She was saying prays to the great mother to give her guidances and support for what the future had in store for her.

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alexagirlie · 3 months

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20 questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @whitedarkmoonflower @foxyanon @lord-aldhelm and @legitalicat !!

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

...133

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

194,499 words, hoping to hit 200k with my next fic!

3. what fandoms do you write for?

The Last Kingdom, Dune and House of the Dragon primarily but I have dabbled in a few others.

4. top five fics by kudos

1. We share spit like venom and call it a kiss - Feyd/Paul, Dune Fandom

2. Close Your Eyes and Think of Caladan - Duncan/Paul, Dune Fandom

3. Under the Hood - Duncan/Paul, Dune Fandom

4. At the Touch of You - Duncan/Paul, Dune Fandom

5. The One Where Paul Gets Wrecked- Chani/Duncan/Paul, Dune Fandom

5. do you respond to comments?

Yes, I try and respond to as many as I can anyways.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh fuck, uh that is hard to choose... Song Challenge ... it does end with Sihtric dead so... Song Challenge 2023 Day 23: A song with a color in the title

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I can't choose this, most of them have a happy ending haha

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not so far no

9. do you write smut?

The 106/133 fics rated E or M says yes hahaha

10. craziest crossover?

The fic Im working on right now, One Call Away, is a modern au crossover with Sihtric from The Last Kingdom and Masema from Wheel of Time... both characters played by Arnas Fedaravicious 🤣

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I would definitely be interested if it was the right fit.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I have had offers but I am such a control freak I'm not sure I would make a good partner 🤣

14. all time favorite ship?

.... I think Fintric (Finan/Sihtric TLK) but its followed closely by Atreidaho (Duncan/Paul Dune), Malec (Magnus/Alec Shadowhunters) and Obikin (Obiwan/Anakin Starwars)

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Pffft probably We Daren't Go a-Hunting for Fear of Little Men

I have the whole story outlined and I love the lord I've made for it but it's been hard to find the motivation to work on it. It has very little interaction/feedback too which doesnt help 😆 I want to finish it tho! I love the concept and what Ive written for it.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Ive been told my characterizations are good, and I guess smut?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptive language, I have a hard time with the showing not telling part of writing, doesnt feel natural to me when writing.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

It really depends. For myself I have included very little dialogue in other languages. If any? I honestly can't think of any of my fics where I did it.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

I wrote a one off fic waaaaay back on ff.net like 15 years ago for an anime I can't remember the name of, but beside that the first fandom i wrote seriously for is Dune.

20. favorite fic you've written?

The Sharpest Lives! I love writing Fintric, and bdsm my beloved.

Uuuh tags

@thelettersfromnoone @sleepstxtic @almostg @cordspaghetti @nights-ofren

@simpfornegan @desert--mouse

#tag game #20 questions

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the-sinners-paradise · 2 years

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hello!! may I request hcs for mayoi, rei, and rinne with a short (4’11) masc! s/o who pretty much clings to them whenever they’re out in public? (mainly because their s/o doesnt like being alone/out in public without them!!)

» mayoyo!! i've been wanting to write abt him for some time now!! im so glad u asked, i hope u enjoy these! and my apologies if it feels shorter than my other works! ☆

prompt: an s/o who is really clingy (and short)

character(s): mayoi ayase, rei sakuma, rinne amagi

pairing(s): all of the above ↑ x masc!gn!reader

warnings: N/A, fluff

☆ — MAYOi AYASE !!

mayoi absolutely loves you and how small and cute you are! he likes holding you and having you in his lap, and he's known to play with your hair a lot. you two have a huge height difference and he loves taking advantage of it.

he absolutely hates being in crowded areas, so for yours and his own comfort, mayoi takes you through the various tunnels and vents he knows of. it's pretty scary at first, but with him around, it's easy to adjust to.

if he absolutely has to be out in a crowded place though, mayoi's got one arm around your waist, holding you so close that you two are practically glued to one another. the thought of losing you in such a terrifying place was awful!!

on another note, he actually kind of likes going out shopping with you! he gets to choose outfits for you, even if you never end up buying anything. he just loves seeing you looking cute in something he chose especially for you!

☆ — REi SAKUMA !!

although he never says it, rei thinks you're absolutely adorable. fawning over you is common from him, but he very clearly holds back if he thinks he'll make you even the tiniest bit uncomfortable. is calling you cute allowed?

he enjoys cuddling you, because you fit so snug into his arms, it feels more like he's got an oversized cat than anything. he would be lying if he said he disliked it, because getting to nap with you like this is his favorite part of the day. plus, you take up less space in his coffin!

rei himself isn't a huge fan of crowds. he would sacrifice that preference when at a Knights concert, but any other time? he would rather avoid it. and he knows you feel the same way too, so he usually carries you around everywhere when you're in a heavily populated area.

he has and probably will continue to drag you to Knights concerts with him, though. although he's not the strongest, he's known to occasionally sit you on his shoulders, but that only lasts for about half an hour until he's just completely worn out from it.

☆ — RiNNE AMAGi !!

how do i put this..? rinne shows affection in such a way it's almost startling to you. he picks you up, he throws you at couches, he drags you around whenever he sees something that excites him.. honestly, he's just so hyperactive it's insane.

crowded place? do not fear! he's got you swung over his shoulder in no time, speeding forward to your desired location faster than you can say his full name. it's terrifying at first, but because he's pretty tall, you barely end up bumping yourself into other people. still, it concerns you that you're kind of just flying around there.

as expected, rinne is also the type to make fun of your height. you can't go a day without hearing him pick on you for it, so much so that you're not even angry at him anymore and have instead resorted to making fun of him for being tall. and then the debate of which one is more ideal starts..

he picks you up if he wants to hug or kiss you. he absolutely could bend down, but it gets a reaction out of you when he suddenly lifts you up and starts leaving kisses all over your face. he's affectionate and he'll find any excuse to show that to you.

#sin thinks that...#ensemble stars #enstars #enstars x reader #enstars x y/n #enstars x you #rinne amagi #rei sakuma #mayoi ayase #rinne amagi x reader #rei sakuma x reader #mayoi ayase x reader

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crimsoncold · 4 months

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Hello fellow Jonsa fans + Jon Snow Fans in general...

I'm pretty confident in saying that the treatment/characterization in later seasons (as well as the overall show ending) for the Starks- specifically for Jon Snow- was in a number of ways a massive disappointment for many fans.

And over the years I've waffled back and forth between hope and pessimism on how accurate the show ending of several characters is for predicting what will/would happen to them in the books ...

So to organize my thoughts (and try to come to some conclusion) I've tried my best to formulate possible attitudes, reasonings, justifications, and supporting evidence for why fans might be anything from strongly opposed to the idea that the endings will be the same, to willing to believe the two endings may generally resemble one another, or for thinking/being resigned to the idea that they will essentially be the same in all the core aspects...

So I am curious, after having a couple years to ruminate on how the show handled its characters ...

What are your thoughts on Jon Snow's show character arc and ending, specifically on how it would (or will) compare to his book arc and ending?

... and which of the following opinions/attitudes on the subject do you identity with or agree with the most?

(Warning this post is kinda rambling and long - and im sure other people have phrased their thoughts on this issue much more eloquently/with more supporting evidence/or at least while being less admittedly biased- I really tried my best to be open minded and be non-critical for all the options but I think I failed for the last one lol - but its kinda cluttering up my head and I wanted to put it into words to clear things out a bit

...but I'm also curious about how others feel about this issue so I'll post this write up as is and then I will post a more succint follow up in the form of a poll to see how fans in general are leaning on this issue in a few days....)

Starting out strong with...

ATTITUDE #1: they will NOT be the same because the show choices and ending don't actually fucking make any sense?

His name being ... aegon?...because he is "the prince that was promised"?....ummmm Rheagar already had a child that was his "prince aegon"...who (other than the showrunners) would think it a good choice to name the next son the same thing...also why would Lyanna who has been kept from her family and left to bleed out alone after childbirth give a shit about "Targaryen" prophecy nonsense and choose this name? Her father and eldest brother have been murdered, she presumably wasn't allowed to contact or leave to go back to her family, and she was left by the prince to endure pregnancy and childbirth with improper care, and as a result she is now bleeding to death without knowing what will become of her son... but sure if she names her son something it would be Aegon and not after her deceased father or brother or just literally any other a name that is not from house Targaryen (you know the people responsible for her family's brutal deaths and her own likely impending death).

And if despite book! Lyanna's apparent wisdom shown in her appraisal of Robert's flaws we are supposed to accept uncritically the show idea that she went willingly (or at least that she stayed willingly) with a prince who was being unfaithful to his wife and had abandoned his children in kingslanding and who ran and left his mad King father behind in power who would then go on to gruesomely murder her family... even if we ignore this and the fact that she should rightfully hate Rheagar at this point (or at least see this prophecy nonsense as Rheagar's own brand of madness) why would she choose this name if she needs her son to be protected (i.e. be hidden by his uncle from everyone who would like to wipe out all remaining Targaryens)?

Furthermore....

(Tyrion = known kin slayer/presumed king slayer/a fucking lannister the house who had been complicit in invading and slaughtering nobles and peasants alike in the north and riverlands in support of their rule through a false king/accomplice to a Targaryen lead invasion and the mass slaughter of KL= righteous dude and new Hand to the King?)

(Jaime Lannister= sworn member of the kingsguard/infamously breaks his vows and murders the mad king/his reputation is permanently ruined/for years never tells anyone his motive for killing the king was to prevent him from wiping out the entirety of kingslanding with wildfire/yet still gets to maintain his position and isn't executed or sent to the wall or even stripped of his position because his dad is scary, his family is powerful, and now they have direct ties to the new King?)

(Jon Snow= is a stark both through his mother and the man who raised him as a father/ from a house that is respected even loved in the north- the family that is the heart of the story/he works to make peace with former enemies and band people together against a massive threat beyond the wall that could kill everyone in westeros/kills a known violent and a mass murdering invader who had control over a creature that is the narrative equivalent of a weapon of mass destruction/consequently a queen slayer and kin slayer/is related to both the new King of Westeros and the QITN who were raised with him and presumably love him and want to protect him = is punished for his actions through exile to the Night's watch?

... which doesnt even have a purpose anymore now that wall is destroyed, the dead have been destroyed, and the north has since allied with their former enemies who they were previously using the wall and the Night's Watch to defend against

... and this is upheld in the north and by his family despite the fact that the stark kids held the fervent desire/wish to return to their home but more importantly to be reunited with their remaining family in any way possible... despite the fact that the north is independent and should give absolutely no fucks what the rulings and demands are from armies and lords who previously were you know fucking invading them, fighting against them, or at least were in no way the north's supportive allies?)

This does not track at all... terrible and inconsistent writing/world building..."one million years dungeon" to whoever thought this would be well recieved or an impressive ending... book end and arc for Jon will not be like this at all.

ATTITUDE #2: Not the same (*beyond perhaps a few superficial aspects*) because narratively and thematically it doesn't make for an effective or engrossing story?

Jon's identity, his desire to know who his mother was, his deep underlying wish to live up to the expectations of his father and be the type of son that through his actions reflects well on his father rather than one who brings shame simply through his birth, the curiosity secrets and rumours surrounding his mother and birth that that are shown to reach far beyond the borders and nobles of the north, and the truth around his biological mother and father.... All of these things should have more of an impact emotionally for the character as well as more consequences and impact plot-wise or politically speaking than it ever did in the show!!!

e.g. Jon's identity issues have generally centered around the desire to know about his mother and a desire to be a son that makes his father proud/reflects well on Ned Stark's memory despite his bastard status... an "oooh look at his Trueborn Targaryen Prince name" moment is not a satisfying closure to this question/conflict... yes knowing the identity of his mother is important to him... but so will the fact that Ned (his uncle/foster father) chose to raise him as his own to protect him... and chose to name him Jon after the man who fostered Ned, loved Ned like a son, and who revolted against a king when he called for Jon to execute his two wards Ned and Robert... emotionally speaking it's Jon's stark half (and the fact that Ned isnt his bio father) that should matter to him the most to jon... far more than the "Secret Targaryen prince" thing... there is little catharsis available for Jon in his Targaryen ancetry-with the exception perhaps of what it might mean for his future/his dreams of marriage and children (more on this later)...

Jon's internal conflict should matter (his dreams of being a father/husband and recreating the family he has lost, his desire for lordship over winterfell, his devotion and love of his trueborn siblings, his shame around his birth and the ambitious dreams that he rejects but still holds, his struggle against all these in taking the black/rejecting the offer of lordship of winterfell/and supporting his "sister's" claim, the potential issues caused by the conflict between Jon's determination to protect the rights of his trueborn "siblings", Robb's will that goes against this wish, and the question of who the Notheners will wish to crown when Jon reunites with Sansa or perhaps one of his surviving "brothers", these things need to be adressed with nuance rather than written off as if they never existed like they did in the show

The Stark kids deserve better, they are essentially the heart of the story, they are constantly thinking about/ longing for their dead kin as well as their lost but surviving siblings, some (i.e. Jon and Sansa) are both literally dreaming about recreating their lost family through their own potential marriages...so all of their reunions need to be important emotionally for the characters and should be more meaningful in terms of narrative... anything rather than the nonsensical, unnecessary, and poorly justified or resolved conflict and mistrust the show gave us between the stark kids....anything other than all the Starks (willingly) being separated once again at the end (which writers thought this made for a powerful or emotional end for the starks...and what on earth is wrong with you?)

The many parallels, shared dreams, and increasingly apparent foreshadowing that point towards Jonsa/a Jon and Sansa marriage in the books (too numerous for me to list here) will need to pay off - (Arguably even the show hinted towards a Jonsa romance with the tension, intimacy, longing stares, jealousy and love triangle-esque framing in later seasons. All of this takes more than just actor chemistry... as in writing directing setting framing lighting etc.) and GRRM won't chicken out over some foster sibling/cousin incest like (presumably) the showrunners did.

The book (and show even) established clearly that people who choose to burn other people alive during battle/as a method of execution/or for human sacrifice purposes are being set up as distinct flavour of villain in the story (Stannis and Melisandre, Tyrion and Cersei, Aerys and Daenerys)... Jon himself is shown to unequivocally be against using this sort of inhumane execution on ones enemies in both the book and the show (i.e. recall his plotline with Mance Rayder/Mance Rayder's son) ... why on earth would he ever trust or be emotionally or willingly romantically involved with someone who does this at a large scale (and who comes from a family that previously murdered his own kin in this horrific manner)... this makes no sense for his character or his arc.

While overall the story certainly makes for a remarkably dark/gritty fantasy tale...to end the entire series by just once again hammering home the idea that nothing we do matters, people dont get what they deserve, there are no happy endings in reality, etc. would leave things on a sour note and not be a particularly meaningful or thematically or emotionally satisfying end ...hell A dream of spring (Formerly A Time For Wolves !!!??!!!) implies a hopeful (though given the series perhaps a bittersweet) end that the show ending (particularly the Stark ending) absolutely did not deliver on

So ultimately to be a satisfying story the character arc/book ending for Jon Snow must, by default, be significantly different than that of the show.

ATTITUDE #3: the endings will not be very similar simply because the show already changed too much storywise/characterwise for it to match what happens/will happen in the books

(Almost too many examples to list for this so I'll only mention a couple of the more grevious ones)

They've written off too many hugely impactful characters (remember lady stoneheart?!!?!!!)

and changed plotlines in too many profound ways (e.g. remember when Dorne and House Martell characters mattered, made sense, were consistent? How Jeyne Poole's narrative was simply given to Sansa?? WTF!!!!! Absolutely the most grevious thing the Showrunners inflicted on her that had NO basis on her material from the novel)

or in general just handled plotlines just too poorly (The long night/invading dead gets a lot of build up- multiple books and seasons- and should be handled more effectively than they did in the show- where it was written off resolved rather quickly to get back to the dragons i mean political intrigue...There is no easily defeated big bad in the books... show!Night King does not have a counterpart or exist in the books!)

and they reduced, white washed, or generally dumbed down characters too much (look what they did to Varys and Tyrion... but also look at Jon!!!!!!

Jon Snow of the books is young but smart, he is sneakier and sassier, and under the right circumstances less beholden to "honour" and much more ruthless than Ned or his own show counterpart (ALSO he is notably against people who execute their enemies via burning alive -just putting that out there again)... so we shouldn't expect Book!Jon to have the exact same behavior/choices of show!jon.

... hell even show jon of early seasons was vastly different- more interesting and thought out and still you know treated as a main character- rather than a kowtowing 1 dimensional man they tried turning him into in order to prop up the Dragon Daenerys plotline)

.... and showrunners just made too many narratively unsupported choices (Bron as Lord Paramount of the Reach. Why? Are ALL the Tyrells dead? Are all other noble houses in the reach dead? What is even happening here?)

Based on all we know from comparing the completed show to the published books in an albeit unfinished series... and how obviously they have already been proven to differ significantly... as fans we shouldn't expect or resign ourselves to the idea that show ending = novel ending... because from what we know for a fact happens in the books has already shown to be massively changed in the tv series.

ATTITUDE #4 & #5:

The books will be similar to some (but not all) aspects of show Jon's later seasons plotlines/his overall ending...

the book will be similar to most aspects of later seasons of the tv seasons -in terms of Jon's arc and his overall ending...

BUT!!!!! crucially these things will be handled better or at least with far more nuance than the show

The showrunners had a general outline so one has to accept that at least some (or even all) of the major aspects of plot and character arcs will be consistent .... they will just be better built up to and justified through better writing and the sheer aspect of getting to read and understand a character's thought process rather than trying to decipher meaning through the scowls/stares/and increasingly poorly written dialog of later GOT seasons.

Specifically, for Jon's later seasons narratives... well perhaps he would be willing to work with people who are violent, unhinged, or dangerous in order to fight against the white walkers, he absolutely is willing to make allies with long standing enemies of the north in the interest of saving the north/all of westeros from the dead (i.e. the free folk), he definitely would be willing to lie to them about his loyalty and respond to their romantic or sexual advances if they pushed him... simply in order to stay alive and to fulfill whatever his mission is amongst his people's enemies (refer to his past interactions with Ygritte and the free folk), he is definitely ultimately willing to "betray" said "allies" and "lover" when their intentions and actions violate his own moral principles or are a threat to his people.

He would definitely sacrifice his own honour (through breaking vows, kinslaying, or queen-slaying) if it meant protecting his family and you know protecting the entire population of westeros from an invader pushed over the edge... who has just committed mass murder of innocent civilians (just look what he is willing to do/what vows he is willing to forsake for the saftey of his sisters/cousins in both book and tv show)...

So some of the show canon/plot/and choices would hold up in the books... so long as they are done with better motives/and while being able to look into Jon's thought process (political!Jon theorists rise! this is the only way this plotline makes sense without assassinating his character).

As for the the Stark/Jon Snow ending (Bran ruling the south, an independent North ruled by Sansa, Jon exiled beyond to wall, and Arya leaving westeros and her family behind)... well I can find satisfaction with and confidently stand by the idea of some of the general outcomes holding true (i.e. an independent north, Sansa reclaiming the north and her identity as a Stark, and that of Bran as king).

... Arya's and Jon's endings are perhaps harder to support ...so maybe they will be different in the books?

Having the freedom to explore and go on adventures seems a long held dream of Arya's, and after the very traumatic and dangerous way this dream of her's came true perhaps her once again experiencing freedom from the expectations put on noble born girls and feeling actual inspiration to travel and discover new places (rather than it being based in necessity) will be a satisfying end... so long as it's not a permanent separation from her home and siblings.

As for Jon's exile... well it's perhaps the hardest to support? but it could potentially stand in the books as well- it could fit a more bittersweet tone that could suit the end of the series that was often quite dark...

Also there are potentially some supporting narrative paralells for Jon say marrying or having a child with Sansa before they are ultimately separated (e.g. Bael the bard, King-Beyond-the-Wall having a child with Lord Brandon Stark's only heir and daughter; or perhaps a reversed version of the historical Jonnel and Sansa Stark marriage... in this case a male relative marrying a female heir to protect her claim rather than to steal it... and this time its the wife who remains and keep rulership of winterfell after "losing" their spouse, instead of the reverse happening)... so this could unfold in a manner that simultaneously fulfills the heavy jonsa marriage + children foreshadowing while still in a way corresponding to the general jon snow ending of the show of exile/leaving with the free folk...

On the other hand if Jon and Arya's endings are the same in the book format perhaps these less satisfying fates could still serve to at least provide interesting narrative parallels to the previous stark generation

(Brandon & Lyanna-Robb & Rickon... beloved siblings who died tragically and live on through the love and terrible grief of their siblings,

Ned - Sansa... inheriting what would have gone to their older brother... but are left alone to carry the burden of ruling winterfell/the north and the only surving stark who will marry and have children to carry on the family line

Ned - Sansa & Bran... who survived a war that killed many family members, going on to inherit rulership (in some form) that would otherwise never have been theirs, and perhaps the most lonely aspect they are ultimately separated from their family by duty, vows, or the choices from their surviving sibling(s)....

Benjen- Arya & Jon, surviving non heir/non ruling starks? who ultimately - perhaps through some combination of grief over their losses, desire to find their own purpose beyond what is offered to them as a non heir member of a noble house, or due to vows they have sworn in the past- leave their surviving family and home behind to make their way in life somewhere else, returning to winterfell/their ruling siblings and surviving family only rarely (if at all), thus making for a slightly more bitter than sweet end for the starks who survived the would be annihilation of their house...

So for these reasons I believe some of these (or even all of these) perhaps controversial and unsatisfying show choices, plot points, and endings around the Starks or Jon Snow could also occur in the books... they will just be presented better.... more in character, with more thought out build up and justification, with more emotional nuance, and in a manner that does address or correspond with the foreshadowing in the books.

ATTITUDE #6: I have come to terms that it makes sense that book ending and show ending will essentially be the same for... various reasons?

...ummm because it just makes sense to me? i don't find it an unlikely or unsatisfying end so I'm fine with it and feel certain it will be the same in the books?

Or because the show ending was admittedly a trainwreck but since I am pessimistic I dont expect a happy or even simply a narratively or thematically satisfying ending to the book series at this point, so yes they will be the same?

....because I think that the showrunners despite how crappy they handled the plot/characters in the later seasons (or occasionally through out the entire series) have to be in the know about major plotpoints and overall series ending so fans must just accept that show ending (for the most part) = book ending?

... breaking the format here but im not sure why else Jon or Jonsa fans would feel this way?...

but I am genuinely curious though so i guess please feel free to share any compelling foreshadowing/hints/justifications in the novel series you've found that either

a. supports showrunners choices regarding both some of the questionable show!Jon Snow's actions...

Choosing to go to dragon stone himself to negotiate with an invader rather than sending a representative, bending the knee without better negotiation, clearer threats against his family, or without even listening to the advice of his northern advisors or family,

Willfully ignoring potential allies available to him (e.g. the vale) Instead of you know finding ways to negotiate and make use of them when he needs to or it is necessary for his survival and then choosing later on how to handle the people who are not strictly speaking trustworthy or are ultimately still an enemy (you know like he did in the past?)

Letting himself be crowned KITN without any meaningful internal struggle or backlash and without requiring much persuasion from his family or advisors...despite this occuring in the presence of one of his trueborn "siblings" - you know Sansa (anyone else remember Jon saying that winterfell belongs to her when he rejects Stannis' offer of ruling the winterfell? That feels like its significant)...and despite the fact that he loves and remained loyal to his trueborn "siblings" and had previously defended his "sister"'s claim to winterfell and the north at the expense of his own opportunity to gain rule over winterfell.

Lending support/men to a Targaryen invader with a checkered past regarding her ... -having kept slaves and/or profiting off of slavery -utlizing "former" child soldier/slaves for her army or servants

(Recall slavery being a big no-no in westeros and particularly the north? Like execution or exile levels of bad?)

-her incredibly controversial and destructive past weilding of her weapons of mass destruction dragons and her questionable ability to control her child eating beasts

b. Supports Jon Snow's ultimate fate (of a sort of tragic hero, banished by his cousin/foster brother for doing what was right and necessary ... just because it went against the restrictive and high standards regarding the proper and honourable treatment of royalty and ones kin ....and because letting him free would upset the handful of allies that said late (and im sure so highly venerated) mass murdering invader/would be dictator had by the end of the story,

And Him not being given refuge in the independent north, by the people who supported/elected him king, or by the express invitation the cousin/foster sister who loves him and has both authority equivalent to that of her brother king while also not being beholden to said king's rulings... and instead being essentially in exile from both the southern kingdoms of westeros and from an independent north and thus the entirety of his surviving family.

Yes I'm totally against show Jon Snow's ending and much of his characterization/plotline in later seasons...and generally find it difficult to swallow/believe the idea that book!Jon's arc/end would be the exact same as that of the show!jon

...but i dont actually intend to just be judgemental of/argue with/try to disprove Stark/Jon fans who believe that what happens with book!Jon will be the same as what happend to show!jon.... I may personally find it hard to accept (both emotionally but also based on the ample available evidence of the significant changes the show had already made from the available published source material)

....but I am genuinely curious about how people feel about this idea if they do truly believe things will be the same for book! jon as it was for show!jon (Satisfaction? Happiness? Anger? Disappointment? Resignation? Acceptance? Indifference?)

.... and also about what evidence/foreshadowing they have found in the books that has persuaded them (and is maybe not discussed seriously enough by fandom) and could have rightfully been included in my reasonings for why people believe that the book ending and character arc for Jon Snow will/would be the same of that of the show.

So my closing thoughts...

Have i missed any notable reasons or evidence that you think would sway someone to one attitude/opinion or another?

... have you, like me, also occasionally been on the fence about how closely what happens in the books will resemble what happened in the show?

... has anything in this post (or another fandom post) changed your mind? Or served to further solidify your position/opinion on this topic?

...do you feel more or less certain about your own stance on the comparison between show and book Jon Snow's overall arc/ending?

... is anyone feeling less resigned/pessimistic about what will happen regarding Jon/Jonsa in the books now? (Because that was sort of my goal here in this thought exercise... thinking through arguments that either support or go against the idea that Jon- and Jonsa- will have a happier or more fulfilling arc and ending in the books than they did in the show... and hopefully finding and summarizing enough evidence to persuade myself- and other fans- that the book outcome will be a more positive one than the show, for characters and fans alike!)

- Crimson Cold

#Asoiaf/got #jon snow #Predictions and Attitides on how the books will compare to the show #Comparing book to show #Jon snow deserved better #The starks deserved better #Jon and Sansa deserved better #a condemning of the butchering of jon snow's character #game of thrones critical #d&d critical #anti d&d #anti daenerys #anti jonerys #anti targaryen #jonsa #jonsa adjacent #asoiaf predictions #political jon #Crimson Cold thoughts

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kken-kenn · 2 years

Text

• Madeline Hatter x gn!reader

Hate.

The feeling someone gets when they incredibly dislike a person, wether with a reason or without we all hate something.

You, just so happened to hate everyone, you found people to be dull and unfulfilling, boring and obnoxious. And the way you acted surely added to that experience. You never said more than a sentence, voice low and laced with irritation.

Your eyes never met the persons you we’re speaking, wether it was because you didn’t like eye contact or you found it boring to communicate they didn’t know, for no one could break the iron wall that surrounded your heart.

You were content to stay this way until a particular Hatter came skipping down the halls, set on making you some friends. “Hai! [Name]!” She would call out loudly over the railing, garnering the attention of passing by students.

She would sit with you at lunch sometimes along with her pet mouse named ‘Earl Gray’. Whenever it was time to pick partners for a project her hand would shoot up as she would exclaim confidently how she was going to be your partner.

Now I can not lie, in the beginning it was infuriating, you enjoyed being invisible now with Maddie basically attached to your hip it was like you were the glaring sun when you walked the halls. She was trying to penetrate the walls you had built up, and, she was.

Slowly but surely, her loud good mornings in the day would bring a smile to your face, sitting with you at lunch gave you butterflies in your stomach from how close she would get. When you would suddenly pay very close attention to class when the girl spoke up, or when she would latch onto your shoulders in a fit of happiness and you could feel the blood rush to your ears.

Her smile so bright when she say your face made you just as happy as well, and you couldn’t help but giggle whenever people would give her weird looks when she indulged in her mad personality, Maddie was truly something for the ages.

⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ♡ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅

“Maddie?” You had asked silently, gazing out across the forest line. “Yes, [Name]?” She answered looking at you while she held a tea cup and saucer in one hand and the pot in the other. “I…I think I don’t hate everyone now,” You told her, bringing your knees up to you chest.

“Oh that’s wonderful [Name]!” She laughed, looking at you with her soft blue eyes. “So tell me, what changed your mind?” You smile ever so softly, “You,” is the only thing you say as Maddie tilted her head in confusion.

“Maddie your not like the other kids here,” You chuckle, “But that much is obvious, your loud, eccentric, bubbly, happy, hex even colorful!” You explained while Maddie’s face soon began to change into something akin of embarrassment.

“Madeline Hatter, you bring life into this black and white view that I call my life as cheesy as that sounds, your the one thing that I can gladly say I would wake up every morning of it meant I could see your smile, that beautiful glowing smile,” Maddy has by now stopped talking, instead choosing to listen to you gratefully with both hands nestled over her heart.

“When I look at you I’m filled with this warm feeling inside, at first I thought it was just a feeling that meant I enjoyed your presence, but now I see it’s more than that…” Moving to sit in front of her taking her hands so they lay in yours, “Maddy I hate a lot of things in this world, but the one thing I don’t hate is you.”

“Really?” Maddy asks, while her smiles grows impossibly bigger than it was already, you nodded frantically, “Now I don’t know where the confidence came to tell you all that but there still one last thing I want to say.”

“Maddy, I love you, okay?” You tell her to which Maddy suddenly leaps on you, wrapping her arms around your waist and shoving her face in your neck, her laughter sounding much more joyous than before. “Im so happy!” Maddy sits back up, looking at you cheerfully, “I don’t hate you either!” She looks at you cheekily, while you roll your eyes.

“Maddy you don’t hate anything!”

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petrichorium · 11 months

Text

on plagiarism

when all of this began, i confess i never imagined i'd be involved this closely. i've been a bit on the fringe of it, with many mutuals involved and my own name dragged into the fray briefly but ultimately trying to keep my distance. but in a brief moment of curiosity (or weakness, perhaps) i let myself do some digging and discovered that i, too, was plagiarized by a former mutual whose work i admired greatly.

one of the most beautiful things about this community is how collaborative it is. we are a group of people with mutual interests who found each other on the vast sprawl of the internet, and our creativity is something which grows as a result of each of us working together. the kind of plagiarism i discuss today is hard to spot, easy to dismiss, and above all else painful for the victims. it is difficult to express how nauseating it feels to see someone take an idea and run with it without permission, consideration, or credit, all while it remains so subtle that you feel nobody will believe you.

Plagiarism, by definition, is "to steal and pass off the ideas or words of another as one's own; to use another's production without crediting the source; to commit literary theft; to present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source" (from merriam-webster, because wouldn't it be ironic if i didn't clarify?). Note, please, the use of "idea." Nobody is fool enough to think plagiarism must be exact 1:1 wording. If you're claiming that, you're very certainly being purposefully obtuse.

the evidence i present below is clear, in my opinion. i'm not going to leave names out of it—the accused has already outed herself and has claimed to have left her blog, so I have no reason to coddle her, and equally there is no sense in reporting or engaging with it in any way. it shouldn't have to be said, but don't harass her; whether or not her blog is truly abandoned, any asks could still make it to her. Obviously sending harassment at any time is childish, cruel, and reprehensible, and nobody is deserving of it.

The plagiarist is @/shiinleaf. there is another player in this game, @/seoafin, who also fell victim to the same scenario twice. seoafin made her own callout post (politely lacking in names) and shiinleaf made her own response, both of which I will link now.

[seoafin's post regarding plagiarism]

[shiinleaf’s response in defense]

I also want to say, to be honest, I wouldn't give much of a damn about this if not for the context. i wrote a one sentence textpost and shiinleaf made her own imitation a week later, then elaborated upon it. the single sentence (and a few tags) is all that i provided; while the lack of interaction and credit hurt, i wouldn't much care...

if not for seoafin's experiences. make no mistake, my evidence here is intended to support hers; to bolster her arguments and to provide further proof of shiinleaf's actions. While her claims might be subtle, my own are more blatant, and help to establish a clear pattern of behavior which is neither respectful nor considerate of fellow authors. This is further proven by the hate that seoafin received for speaking up—the very reason I’m choosing to come forward. While the initial crime might be something unworthy of speaking about publicly, I won’t stand by while a fellow victim is harassed and gaslit in her own askbox.

anyway. im done grandstanding. I have screenshots and links so let's get into this.

i preface this by saying that while i was vaguely aware of this situation—as i was up until recently mutuals with shiinleaf (xin) and only mutuals-in-law with seoafin (morgan) and, thus, friends with many people with full knowledge of and involved in the entire debacle—i largely made an effort to keep out of the situation, despite (in a situation which i really can't get into) my name being dragged into it in private, resulting in me soft blocking xin.

my interest was reignited last evening, however, after many vague posts by mutuals which made me check shiinleaf's blog out of curiosity. i saw that xin had gone through and reblogged nearly all of her old writing, and near the top a post caught my eye.

the post was a brief textpost about the honkai: star rail character Jing Yuan, later elaborated upon in a followup reblog. This had been posted in July, and something about the phrasing and the timestamp made me pause.

I have made a few posts in the past about characters who "like brats," specifically not "to tame." I remembered making one about Jing Yuan many months ago. So, I went digging in my blog's archive, and sure enough I found it.

Here are the two initial posts side-by-side. My post is dated July 19th at 11:37pm. Xin's is dated almost exactly a week later, July 27th at 5:13am. Additionally, I've provided a screenshot of the first sentence of the followup reblog; note the specific usage of "brats"/"bratty", "not taming," and "likes the chase."

[link to xin's initial post] [link to xin's follow-up reblog]

[link to my post]

As the final nail in the coffin, here is a video of my post with proof that Xin saw it: she gave it a like. Note that this post was reblogged once and had only six likes; it wasn't a popular post whatsoever.

Finally, an interesting thing to note (though not altogether suspicious) is that xin states in the tags of her followup reblog that she has written a "7k word fic" about the concept discussed. She later states in a reblog from the 23rd that this fic was her fic Filler, one which she also has stated that she began on the 19th of July—the same day as my initial post. These coincidences, unfortunately, only keep adding up.

[link to xin's recent reblog of the plagiarized post]

[link to xin's recent reblog of Filler]

(note: the precise timeline of Filler does not line up exactly with the premise that it was created solely due to my post; the screenshots provided of the fic's document predate my own post by many hours. However, I am not claiming that the entire fic is based upon my post. That would be absurd, it's literally one sentence and a few tags. By xin's own admission, however, the fic was based upon many things including the premise potentially provided by myself—it is entirely within the realm of plausibility for her to have begun Filler and allowed my post to impact her writing of it, especially seeing as she, without a doubt, saw my post within hours of beginning the fic)

Now, I'd like to make myself perfectly clear here. This incident, were it isolated, would not make me call someone out. I understand that this community is full of authors inspiring one another. My post was a brief, fleeting idea which I did not elaborate upon; what she potentially did with that idea, to be frank, was absolutely phenomenal, and I am by no means whatsoever taking credit for ANYTHING beyond my initial post. Xin has stated that Filler in particular was a deeply personal fic for her, based upon her cultural and familial experiences—I would never dream of taking away from that. I think it's a fic that she should be proud of, and frankly I’d feel honored if I played any part in its creation.

However, it is abundantly clear in my opinion (from the fact that my post was liked, from the evident timeline, and from my own wording being ripped almost exactly) that xin drew inspiration from me and made no effort to give me the proper credit. This was not collaboration but rather a purposeful choice to use my own idea as a jumping off point and pass it off as her own. We weren't mutuals at the time, but I had seen her in my notifs frequently; had she added to my post, I would have been delighted. And my dms are also open, if she had been concerned about my response she could have asked me for permission. Unfortunately, she did neither of those things, and so here we are.

More importantly, however, I come forward with this—as stated initially—with the intent to defend seoafin (morgan), who came forward with her own post regarding xin's plagiarism. [morgan's post linked here again] please note that morgan took care not to mention xin, her blog, or directly link any xin's relevant fics. However, my own experience only bolsters the credibility of morgan's accusations. Once again, i wouldn't be coming forward if i were the only victim, but morgan has been inundated with asks since she made the accusation and i found it vital to support her claims. From vitriolic harassment to gaslighting to death threats, the response to morgan's post has been troubling, and i (futilely, im sure) hope that my own post will put an end to this. a clearly established pattern has been shown—three instances among two different authors of xin taking inspiration without credit—and i think it's fair to say that my evidence is solid.

i'll leave with another soapbox paragraph to match the beginning. up until this incident... i had been mutuals with xin. i had seen her in my notifs for months before i followed back, including when she chose to steal my idea. i held great respect for her work; i considered her a very talented author, and to an extent I still do—I genuinely can’t emphasize enough that I’m sure hardly a fraction of my impact potentially made it into Filler, and it remains one of my favorite Jing Yuan fics out there. my heart aches at how this turned out, not simply for her plagiarism but for her actions since she was found out. I simply can’t wrap my head around everything that’s transpired these past few weeks.

thank you all reading. i hope i didn't drag on too long. im done now i promise 🫶🏻

#damn. cant believe I’m making my first callout post #we r reaching milestones at record place on this blog #but only the worst ones #n e way. written last night but scheduled for this morning 🫶🏻

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sadistpet · 6 months

Text

Meet the Writer

it's munday everybunny you know what that means

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

i love choosing muses that aren’t very. canonically fleshed out. it gives me a lot of opportunity to make them into my own ig :3

raikov is generally a pretty blank slate besides the little we know about him ( being violent / sadistic, being in love with volgin, u kno ) and i think he's potentially a really interesting character from what little we see of him. im personally not ascribed to the eva theory bc i think its kinda silly and robs him of a lot of his personal agency, but it is a common theory, so i kinda wanted to build up a characterisation that was more. faithful to canon rather than fanon u kno. plus sometimes my autism just latches onto specific random characters for no reason and in this case it was raikov JDSFHDFKJ my partner loves raiden and when we were scrolling his wiki page for the funnies obviously raikov's page comes up at the top as a "maybe you meant this" and i just kept coming back to him

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH i hate writing anything with like. eating?? which is ironic considering . raikov . but i just never know how to word it BUT aside from that i think combat is really the only thing ! just cause i feel like it relies heavily on input from both parties and i constantly feel like im overstepping kjshkfjhg

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

fluff angst smut grins. they just come a lot easier to me, especially angst because i always have a LOT to say about silly little internal thought processes and i love writing sadness and pain ^-^ it makes me very gleeful ironically jdkhfdjhg i get very emotionally invested in angst especially. smut is a little bit harder? kinda like with combat ironically it heavily relies on the input of both parties but i do feel for the most part its pretty open ended fun :3

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

i just know. BUT NO SERIOUSLY sometimes it's just Vibes, sometimes it's through reading canon stuff and linking it back to my backstory for him, sometimes it's through interactions with others. there's a lot :3 i do put a lot of thought into my headcanons though, maybe like. too much lmao. but i enjoy it i really love doing a lot of analysis to get to my headcanons

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

a bit of both ! rn i'm writing in silence and i think last night i was mostly writing in silence on my phone and then listening to music while i finished stuff on pc. i think it depends ? sometimes i just get really distracted when listening to music and end up completely neglecting actually writing HDFJGHED so i think overall i prefer silence, or something in the background that i've already seen before so i don't need to pay much attention to it

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

i love winging it :3 i like the unpredictability of it but i think i tend to like. outline ? replies before i actually write them properly. ive never really plotted with anyone besides a vague kinda outline or premise, because i do really like the unpredictability :3 but im always open to plotting grins cutely.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Yes. not just romantic shipping; sexual, enemies, rivals, whatever, idgaf I LOVE CONNECTIONS!!!!!!! i love being able to write relationships between characters. even if its like, familial relationships or whatever, i think it's SO FUN like ourgh. grins really big

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

frances ! it’s not my irl name but the one im most comfortable using online. i also go by rosalind, neo, and vanya :3 one of these is closest to my irl name but youll never guess

ᴀɢᴇ?

22, 23 this year somehow

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

september 17th !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

pink. fairy tale pink. baby pink. any shade of pink

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

UM im not sure ?? of all time maybe dysph.oric reverie by [redacted] and the art of suicide by emilie autumn and valley of the dolls by marina atm though its a stranger i remain and holding out for a hero

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

the thing (1982) !! oh it was so fucking good i really really enjoyed it. theres a bunch of old classic horror films ive never seen so im glad i could tick one off the list :3 the effects in it were absolutely stunning my goodness

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

i think it was blue eye samurai ?? i gen dont remember

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

im so sorry for my crimes but it was the stains of time and then holding out for a hero

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

meat. and sweet things. i dont think i really have any favourites in particular besides liiiike caramel

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

spring ! all the other seasons make me depressed in some way somehow

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

i have avoidant personality disorder so im too scared to explicitly call anybody my friend in case they hate me so unfortunately i will not think of us as friends unless yuou tell me we are. but if i talk to you / interact with you regularly just know i consider u a friend ok. snf

#im so slepey. thank uou #g: ¦ ❝ ooc. ❞

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 11 months

Note

hi! when did matt said ‘who?’ when he was asked about nettles?? i heard that nowhere and im very interested if you have other ‘news’ like that cause i feel like everything that is said during con is being either twisted or hidden😔

It was at the talk in July at London Film Comic Con, I believe (there was a talk at the winter con in November last year too, I went to both)

It’s not a case of everything being twisted or hidden at these talks, it’s because Showmasters (the people who run the conventions) wouldn’t let us take videos 😭 they said at the beginning of both talks that photos were allowed but videos were not, and they’ve got security posted around the audience to make sure of it. Showmasters are also very tight and won’t let people take pictures of the guests (actors etc) at the tables or anything like that. Like during the July con I was going upstairs and I could see into the green screen area from above, and Matt was in there, so I went to take a photo but one of the staff got pissy at me and told me off because “you’re not allowed, it’s not fair on the people who paid money for their photos with him 😤”… like okay, love, I paid something like £235 for the diamond pass AND an additional £110 for another autograph so I could talk to him again, chill the fuck out. Basically Showmasters HATE the idea of people getting photos, autographs or anything from the actors for free since it means they as a company don’t make money off it.

(For the record Matt was super sweet and after his talk was taking photos with a kid dressed like his Doctor, he’s an awesome person)

Some other things I can remember off the top of my head (I’ve probably mentioned some of these before but oh well):

When asked if he was Team Black or Team Green, he said “is that a joke? Team Black”

Someone asked how he felt about certain deleted scenes being cut, namely the scene of Daemon hugging his daughters (which there’s a photo/still of) and he had no idea what we were talking about 💀 he joked that some of the audience must work for HBO because we seemed to know more than him about it

He said that Daemon does love Rhaenyra. “Is it a bit weird? Yeah” but he does love her

“Working with Emma D’Arcy is great”

“No one can trust Mushroom”

Both he and Emma looked at each other like “???????” When they read the choking scene because neither of them thought it made any fucking sense whatsoever

In July he confirmed that he’d been filming in Wales for S2 so we COULD be getting Daemyra scenes since I think Emma was also seen filming in Wales

The reason Olivia Cooke and Bethany Antonia (Alicent and Baela) cancelled their appearances at the con in July is because of filming conflicts, they had last minute changes to their filming schedules

Hasn’t read ALL of Fire and Blood, just the parts related to Daemon (I’m guessing the Dance of Dragons sections)

That man did NOT stop praising the absolute shit out of his co-stars by the way, especially Emma. He also used the correct pronouns for Emma the entire time he talked about them, which I know is a low bar to set but still, my point remains that Matt is just so respectful of Emma and clearly loves working with them

“Come to my kitchen, I’ve got the sonic” 😏

He also talked a lot about Doctor Who at these talks, which - I’ll be honest - I have only watched one episode of (and it was his first episode) so I don’t remember anything that well about his Doctor Who answers. To add, sometimes the people at the con choose audience members with the STUPIDEST questions instead of fans with actual genuine ones - like in November when someone got the mic and asked him to give them middle names for their godchildren or something 💀

#matt smith #house of the dragon #asks #daemyra #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen

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cryptidclaw · 2 years

Text

Kittyclan- Clangen game yr 2 update!

Im probably not going to draw much for my clangen games anymore, just bec I want to focus on my warriors designs! But I do want to keep playing my clangen clans and posting about them!

Sooo my plan is to post under my tags #cryptid plays clangen and #kittyclan with little updates as things happen in the game! (I may also start posting about other clans I make as well!)

I think this will be a fun side thing to have on the blog hehe

Now I was going to do another drawing challenge for Kittyclan's second year, but like i said, im not going to do that anymore! sooo instead here's an update on what happened to Kittyclan in their second year! If you want context for what happened previously, heres the yr one post!

Here is the Clan now after 24 moons!

The clan has only had one death, and has gained 7 new cats!

1. Butterpaw and Cheesepaw were born to Milkystar and Fredheart at the beginning of the year! I named them Cheese and Butter bec I thought it would be cute if Milkystar's kits were named after things that are made from milk hehe

2. Lintheather dreamt of a prophecy and Beanzsong helped him work it out... so I wonder what that was about... Also this means Lint may be making friends with someone? Maybe? plz sir make some friends u r so lonely

3. Later Nilesrump, a former kittypet, is found by Lint and joins clan! I wonder if Niles had something to do with the prophecy!

4. Good things did not keep hapening however bec like a moon after Niles joined the clan Fluttershy DIED!! VIA AN ATTACK!!

I think this is a sign that some of the other clans in Kittyclan's forest are not so inviting to this new clan of loners and kittypets... They must be VERY mad bec Fluttershy was a med cat! they murdered a med cat!!!

5. three moons later another attack accured! I have to assume that Beanzsong was attacked by annother clan's angry warriors and that Fredheart had to protect him!

Fred was injured so badly he had to retire to the elders den early!

6. during the same moon, after their father had to retire, Cheese and Butter were made apprentices, and when they became apprentices they both became vengeful cats... I thin k they are very mad about what happened to their father, and they want vengeance on the cats who did this!

Also! Lintheather is Butterpaw's mentor bec the boy deserved to get an apprentice, he's a great teacher and I think he really wanted to be a mentor! And! due to the clan loosing a med cat so suddenly, Jessicapond chose to take on Cheesepaw as a new apprentice! Lets hope Cheese gets over being vengeful bec I have no clue how that would effect his work as a med cat heh...

7. Emitail and Flowerdusk join the clan during the same moon! Emitail is an ex-kittypet and Flowerdust is a disgrased deputy... Maybe Flowerdusk was the deputy of the clan that has been attacking Kittyclan, and he was kicked out for disagreeing with them!

8. In the last few moons of the year Flightkit is dropped off by his mom and Moorstalk, and ex-kittypet, joins the clan!

There are a few updates in the way of relationships too...

Milkystar and Fredheart continue to have the most conflicting relationship ever, do they like each other orrr no? I have no clue... Its a love hate relationship.

Sweetpea also continues to be not close to her leader at all despite being deputy, and continues to be Fredheart's bff

Butterpaw and Cheesepaw are like SUPER bonded, they are very close, which I think is adorable, but also they scare me bec they are currently a vengeful duo

there is also a little bit of drama happening between Beanzsong, Lintheather and Creatureivy bec Beanz and Lint both have little crushes on Creature, and Creature returns both of those little crushes! I want to see if any of those relationships progress bec I would love to have a healthy mates relationship in this clan lol

Also just ignore the fact that Lint has feelings for Jessicapond, Jessica is WAY too old for Lint! So im choosing to ignore that one... Tho I am worried that they will become mates on their own bec they both have feelings for each other :(

Anyways! thats pretty much it so far! Im going to just do small posts as thing happen from now on, but I wanted to catch yall up on what's happening!

#cryptid plays clangen #kittyclan #clangen #warrior cats #warriors #warriors game #warriors ocs

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sapphosdickandballs · 2 months

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heyyyy!!! i saw that you changed ur theme. just wanted to first of all say i loveeeee that shade of green omg. its so cool.

anyway also that ask you sent about reading kiss her once for me- ahhh. im stoked ur reading it!! ellie is such a loser and yeah. i need a jane su/jack (i forget her last name atm whoops) in my life. mostly jane aughhhh... sorry im noooot here to gush abt ols HOWEVER. i get it. 100%. idk i just like- loved them. they were cute and ughhh.

u got any updates w reading???

i just got done reading delilah green doesnt care and tbh. its not a rec from me. im gonna keep my thoughts to a minimum but it felt very bland and like a whole nothing burger with such a... paper thin character veil. i didnt care about the cast at all???? especially not the ship. i did like iris and astrid but damn it just was low key boring??? the sex scenes werent even hot 👎. like okay so not gonna rip on it TOO hard but it's got a cute cover but i didnt find it to be rec worthy nor is it even comparable to any of my other favs. it was mindless, but executed in a way that felt underwhelming. like a different book i read- mistakes were made. which is by an author you recommended a book from. thats a whole nother argument i had formed but that one wasn't good either 😭. sorry but that one suffered from the opposite problem of too much sex and the plot just WASNT compelling. also the characters were awful?? at least the daughter. i hate that she was written as some spoiled child when she was legitimatly a college student. anyway NOT recs. but im indeed interested in giving both of their other books a try??

anyway i really REALLY want to try this one eventually. it looks really good but my libby doesnt have ittttt :(

uhhh another thing is-

i ask of you now- to make a decision on which i start first since you recommended them both to me in that long ask. (thats mainly why im sending this lol i could go either way but would like ur silly input on to choose which path to take first.)

as for the ask you sent earlierrrrr- i might dm u later w a bunch of rambles bc im not gonna publicly ramble in case they ever find this acc but watch out!! i can yap. :3

anyway thats all!!

Oh that sucks about Delilah green doesn’t care. I think that was on my list but I hadn’t started it yet. But I trust your judgment so I’ll prolly take it off

By an author I recced or one of the books I recced? Just curiosu. If it’s an author I recced I’ll make a mental note not to read any more of them

I’ve read til the point they arrived at the mansion and she met boozy in kiss her once for me I’m easily distracted but I will read more soon! I have a bunch of stuff I have to do for uni so it might be a sec. But I will read more I do really like it

ughhhhh the falling in love montage is so. Aughhhh. I love that book. It sucks your library doesn’t have it I read it on Libby so that’s weird. I wish you luck in finding it tho it’s so good

Oh this is hard okay. So something to talk about is very angsty? Like I read it and was yelling at the characters the whole time to stop being stupid. But if you relate to feeling like a predatory lesbian (I do 🙌) then this book will hit. I ultimately really liked it and thought the angst and buildup was worth it

I also really like never ever getting back together it’s pretty fluffy and cute and makes fun of the bachelor type shows which I thoroughly enjoyed cause I watch those shows (guilty pleasure) and it’s dual perspective which I always be eating up. One of the main characters acts like an idiot for a while but then it gets really cute. And it’s not too sex heavy afaik. Neither is something to talk about except for the very ending

Both are good I can’t really recommend you one over the other, so I will just say are you in a more angsty mood or a more fluffy mood

That’s fine lmao that’s why I added the disclaimer of answer in an ask or a dm. I just hate saying you can dm me cause liek. The implications

#I love when you ramble in my inbox it makes my day #I always feel like I’m annoying you when I send you asks but I’m gonna take this as confirmation I’m not being annoying #sapphoanswers #I need to reread ols your enthusiasm is infectious #Cramity Rambles

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raspberrysunshinebby · 2 years

Text

Two Choices

(I’m gonna change the name I promise. Please send suggestions.)

Chapter 2

Pairing: Eris x reader x Azriel

Summary: The future wife of Eris never cared much for mating bonds, she had spent years in love with Eris and when Beron finally dies they can be together. He has full intention to make his love into his High Lady until at a party meant to celebrate Eris’ reign the girl finds herself finding her mate, Azriel.

Warnings: Slight smut, angst, tell me if I missed something.

Word Count: 4625

(I’m rlly sorry for what im about to do to Azriel’s character)

The next morning I’d woken up to Eris already gone. I’d assumed he’d gone to go spar with his brothers, I went to go change but quickly remembered I wasn’t in my room. As I looked around I noticed a simple pink dress sitting on a chair, I assumed Eris left it there and I went to put it on.

I quickly noticed how puffy my face was from all the crying, and how red it was. I was also scared people would question why Eris and I slept here tonight instead of in his room. I really didn’t want anyone to know about this, not at least until I beat it into Eris’ head that I would choose him over anyone, even my mate.

The doors quickly opened to my handmaid's entering with makeup and hair things, happy I was already dressed.

“What's going on?” I asked the Lady next to me. “The Night Court is to arrive soon and Eris requested we do your hair and makeup.” She told me.

Something about that hurt. Knowing Eris set up this meeting without discussing the bond with me first hurt. The fact he wanted me done too? That made it hurt even more.

“Where is he?” I asked.

“Downstairs discussing preparations with staff.” She answered quietly.

I quickly got up from my seat to head to him. I couldn’t have this meeting, I didn’t want this meeting.

I quickly found him discussing with kitchen staff before I yelled out his name. When he looked to be, I motioned towards the dining hall, which I knew no one was in.

“What the fuck is this meeting about?” I asked him when we walked in.

He sighed, “I think it's pretty obvious it's about you.”

“Why?”

He looked at me like the answer was so obvious, “Azriel is your mate, (Y/N). This meeting is to discuss what to do about that.”

“There is nothing to discuss,” I told him, “I don't want to be even near Azriel. I want nothing to do with the Night Court.”

“He is your mate. You should at least try.” He said quietly.

My heart dropped, “No!” I said firmly, “I don't want to, I want nothing with him Eris.”

“And what if one day you decide you do?” He raised his voice. This caught me off guard, he’d never done that.

“Tell me, what happens when you decide you want the bond? Will there be an affair? Will I be to blame?” He told me.

I stayed silent, not because I felt like he was right, but because I couldn’t believe he’d think I’d ever do that.

“The bond is placed for a reason (Y/N). I want you to find out whether or not you are compatible now rather than later. I don't want to watch you not want me when we’re married.”

“Last night it didn’t seem like you wanted me anymore,” I said, holding back tears.

“Oh my cauldron, (Y/N). I-”

“You didn’t even look at me!” I cut him off.

He stayed silent for a second, “I’m sorry but it's not my fault you got mated to a man I hate.”

At this point, I was crying, “It’s not mine either!”

I heard him whisper, “I know, I know.”

I’m not sure if we both would’ve started yelling or crying at each other. Before we could, a maid knocked to tell us the Night Court had arrived.

I whipped the tears from my eyes and tried to compose myself, Eris took his fingers and combed down some parts of my hair that were messy—almost making me cry again.

We walked out of the room together, but I was about a foot ahead of him.

When we entered the room I saw a few members of the Night Court, the Highlord and Lady, Azriel, and another winged male. The seats were set up on both sides. I wanted to take a seat on the couch that was placed on the side where Eris would be sitting but I didn’t know if I should. I eventually decided to sit on the couch with Eris but on the other side away from him.

“Have you thought about the Eris deal?” Rhysand started. This confused me, I never heard anything about a deal.

“Yes, I did,” Eris responded.

“What deal?” I asked.

Everyone was silent before Rhysand spoke again, “We were discussing having you switch from here to the Night Court every two weeks. To help you figure out your whole. Situation.”

My jaw dropped, “There's nothing to figure out. I’m staying here with my fiance and that's final.”

“You forget you're still my mate,” Azriel started, “I don't plan on kidnapping you in your sleep but I do plan on being persistent on giving us a shot.”

“There is no us,” I responded.

“(Y/N).” Eris stated my name, “He has every right to want to do that. He’s your mate.”

I looked at him shocked, “I can't fucking believe you're taking their side.” I told him.

Eris took a deep breath, “As your High Lord I’m telling you to take the deal. You’ll be leaving for two weeks tonight.”

Azriel was about to say something but it didn’t matter, I stood from my seat and rushed to my room. Not waiting to hear anyone try to stop me.

I didn’t understand why Eris was doing this. I was to be his Highlady and he was allowing me to be sent off to some other man.

I noticed shadows following me under my door but I paid them no mind as I forced myself under my covers to cry. Maybe if I was lucky they’d forget I was here if I stayed long enough.

I’m not sure how long I laid there as I eventually fell asleep, but when I woke up it was already nighttime. I walked down the hall hungry and tired still when I heard two voices.

“You're selling my sister off like a broodmare!” I recognized the voice as my oldest brother, Silas.

“That is not what is going on. She is not being sold, and this will be her choice.” I heard Eris say.

“Bullshit, she doesn’t even want to go in the first place and you're making her go. Where is her choice here?” Silas responded.

“You don't understand Silas, I want her to know whether or not she wants to be with Azriel now.”

“She doesn’t!” Silas yelled, “She doesn’t give a fuck about him, you told me yourself! You're being fucking delusional! You're going to fucking lose her not cause of Azriel but cause of you!”

“She's going. Whether you like it or not.”

I heard something crash before my brother angrily came out of Eris’ office. The door slammed and Silas saw me, his face immediately softened.

“He’s really making me go, isn’t he?” I softly asked him.

My brother wrapped his arms around me, I expected myself to cry but I didn’t. “I’m sorry my sweet girl.” was all he could muster out.

Silas told me Rhysand and Azriel would be here soon, leading us to slowly walk to the sitting room they’d be winnowing to.

About five minutes of us waiting happened until the two showed up to take me away. I stalled for about two minutes before we left, waiting to see if Eris would come to say goodbye.

He never did.

I was brought to a place they called ‘The House of Wind’ and brought to a room. I found there were Night Court gowns and nightdresses for me, but I stuck to the Autumn Court ones I had brought with me.

“You haven’t eaten today, have you?” Azriel asked me, “I can have some food brought to you.”

“I’m fine.” That is all I said.

He paused for a moment, “Feyre and Rhysand made a deal somewhat like this,” He told me, “it worked out for them. I hope it works out for us.” He said quietly.

After I hadn’t said anything for a little while he eventually left.

I lay in bed for maybe minutes or hours before I realized I could not fall asleep, I was so tired yet I couldn't.

I’d only been able to fall asleep alone during the day due to the anger I felt against Eris, but now that I’d calmed down, all I wanted was him. I couldn’t sleep without him.

Eventually, I grabbed a thinner blanket in my room than the one on my bed and walked around the house. I ended up finding a library that I sat in to watch the sunrise.

After the sunrise I decided to look around at what books they had. I wanted to find some to pass the time before I could go home, yell at Eris for being an idiot and then have him in my arms.

Usually, I’d like romance, but at the moment I couldn’t stand the thought of it. So instead I chose fiction books about wars or some magical schools or something. Anything I could pass the time with. Once I was done I began walking back to my room covered in my blanket.

On my walk I was interrupted by Azriel walking toward me in a hurry, “Did you sleep at all last night?” was the first thing he said.

“No,” I told him, and he immediately rushed to my side to try to help me carry my books and bring me back to my room.

“No, stop. I’m fine.” I told him as I grabbed the books I was holding from his hands and began walking back to my room, he continued following me.

“Are you sure you're fine, 'cause I really wanted to take you somewhere today so you don't feel weird here,” He continued rambling on.

“Yea I’m fine, sure.” was all I said.

I have to admit, I felt a little bad. Azriel was sweet, he clearly cared. He wouldn’t compare to Eris though. Even if I accepted the mating bond Azriel would never compare.

“Also um,” He started, “There are Night Court dresses in there. I was hoping you’d wear one of those instead of the Autumn Court ones you brought.”

“Yea sure,” I said snappily.

“Alright great, can you be ready in like thirty minutes?” he asked me.

“Yea sure,” I said.

“Okay perfect, I’ll see you in a bit.” He scurried off as I went into my room.

I don't know why I didn’t except this. I wanted to jump off a cliff, but at this point, I just had to go along with whatever.

To me, all the dresses they had for me looked dull. All blacks or grays, some blues. I found I didn’t look good in dark blue though.

I settled for a gray dress with a corset-like top and straight gown bottom. It had some sparkly stars on it and was honestly a little itchy.

I brushed my hair some and allowed it to have its natural waves before Azriel came back knocking on my door.

Through the door, he asked me if I was ready before I responded with a yes.

After I left the room I noticed Rhysand was there, he said he was there just to winnow us. I guess Azriel was worried about what my reaction would be to flying. I was really glad they chose to winnow me.

Once we got there Rhysand left as fast as he came, I turned to see Azriel took me to a garden.

“Eris mentioned to me you like to walk in gardens sometimes in the morning, I thought it’d be nice to take you to one.”

“Thank you,” I told him, being polite.

We walked down the garden together, he told me about how Feyre’s sister Elain takes care of it and about the little knowledge of plants he knew. We continued talking, well he talked and I listened and responded.

Once we got closer to the house we were by I noticed long red locks by a window.

I’d stopped listening to what Azriel said as I examined the red hair. It looked so close to Eris’ and just seemed like I knew the person.

The man turned his head more towards the window where I could see his face.

Lucien

The boy I hadn’t seen since he was exiled was standing there as a man. I remembered him as a baby when Eris would sneak away with him to show me his little brother. I remember him as a little boy playing in the trees and I remember how the day before he was exiled he had spent some time in my families gardens with me, he chatted about anything and everything,

I immediately rushed toward the house to see him. Ignoring Azriel's yells of my name I found the door to the house and turned the corner to make eye contact with Lucien.

I saw his eye light up before he went to hug me. This was the first time I’d smiled in a whole day. I almost cried seeing the man who’d always be a boy to me.

There were a few other people in the room who seemed to have no idea what was going on. Azriel included.

Neither of us cared, we decided to move our small little reunion outside where Azriel followed. We sat by some benches while we chatted, catching each other up on everything.

The conversion made it to Lucien's exile.

“Eris was hoping you’d be at that party, he wanted to publicly remove your exile and claim you as his brother,” I told Lucien quietly. Ignoring the way Azriel shifted in his seat as I mentioned Eris.

Lucien stayed silent for a second, “Honestly I just want to see my mother again.”

“She misses you a lot, if you just showed up you’d be welcomed with open arms. I promise.” I told him.

He shook his head, “I don't want to go until it's properly abolished.”

I nodded, “I’ll relay that message when I get home.”

“(Y/N) you haven’t eaten yet today either right?” Azriel asked, leading me to nod.

“Come on, we’re gonna go get breakfast somewhere, okay?”

I nodded to Azriel before I hugged Lucien as a goodbye and stood up, ready to follow him.

I followed him through the house trying to not make eye contact with the other people in there who were very obviously looking at me, especially the blonde, Mor. I wondered if she still hated Eris for something everyone knows wasn’t even his fault.

I successfully got through the house without someone trying to kill me, which seemed like an accomplishment for me.

Azriel moved his hand to my shoulder to push me slightly to stand next to him. I much preferred standing behind him but I followed his direction anyway. We walked through the city he called Velaris. I'd heard of it a couple of times during conversations with Eris but never cared enough to ask more about it.

It was a pretty city, stone brick houses and shops everywhere. I missed the autumn colors the cities back at home had with their trees and leaves.

Eventually we made it to this cute looking cafe, it was made of brick with steel seats and tables everywhere with little star designs on them, there were floating candles all around and a menu with different drinks and food on them, most I’d never heard of.

One of the workers came out of the back with a bigger chair, and sat it down at a table after removing its original chair. I guess Azriel was a regular here as he thanked the worker who gave him two menus and sat in the chair as I sat in front of him. The chair matched the others; it was just bigger and made to fit his wings.

When I read the menu I was really hoping there’d be something I’d recognize and like here, but I’d forgotten how much of a picky eater I was. The only thing that was also at the Autumn Court here was a simple Egg and toast breakfast, but I didn’t like eggs. I hated the texture and how it felt in my mouth. When I was a child I ate one and immediately threw it up. I hate eggs.

My eyes wandered to something that looked basic on the menu. It was a thin circle thing that looked similar to the waffles we had back in the Autumn Court. It came with toast that had avocado on it.

Azriel noticed how long I took and how confused I looked, “Do you not have this kind of stuff in the Autumn Court?” He asked me.

I shook my head, “What the hell is a pancake?” I asked him.

This time he looked confused, “You guys don’t have pancakes?”

He began to explain to me that it was batter made from milk, flour and eggs that was cooked. I thought for a minute, “So it's a thin waffle?”

“What is a waffle?”

I decided to order the pancake with the avocado toast thing, which I ended up really liking. The texture on the pancake wasn’t the same as a waffle which kind of bothered me but it didn’t make me want to throw up at least.

We chatted a little bit but it's hard to chat with someone when all you want to do is leave. At least I tried. Afterwards he asked me if I wanted to go clothes shopping, since I only had like three dresses pre-made for me but I didn’t really feel like it.

“I’ll just wear the clothes I brought with me,” I told Azriel.

Azriel’s face scrunched up, “I don't think that’s a good idea, especially if you go out in public like that.”

“I don’t plan on going out in public that much.”

That made Azriel stop talking for a moment, he paid for our meals and we left to continue walking along the street.

In my defense, even if he wasn’t my mate I’d still feel weird talking to him just because he was being so awkward. Then I thought about it more, I’d probably be awkward to my mate if they started crying the second the bond kicked in.

As we walked I realized he was bringing us to this shop with little trinkets, based on the fact Eris told Azriel I liked gardens he probably also told him I liked little objects. Half of the space in our bedroom and drawing room is used for my little items. Something about them just made me very happy.

Azriel brought me into the shop with him where my eyes immediately went to the wall of little figures, boxes and other items. Azriel was going to say something but I’d already walked away to go look at these items.

I’m not sure how long we were there, if I could guess maybe an hour and a half. Azriel just walked behind me and watched me look around. For a minute I thought he was Eris, since this was the exact thing Eris and I did when we’d go to places like this.

I ended up finding a little jewelry box with little trees carved into it with gold flakes. I ended up loving it and picked it up.

Azriels head cocked, “are you getting that?”

I nodded to him and walked to the counter, before I could pay myself I saw the lady at the counter nod to Azriel, he directed me to the door telling me to not worry, he paid it for.

“What time is it?” I asked him.

“Around 2.” Azriel told me.

We’d been out for a while, I didn’t know the exact time we left but I knew it was around 9 or 10 in the morning.

We started to walk to the house we were originally at, I yawned realizing not sleeping all night was really catching up to me.

“Do you wanna go back to the house?” Azriel asked.

“Yes please, I’m so tired.”

“Lets go to the house real quick, I can get Rhysand to winnow us.”

“Can Lucien winnow us?” I asked.

“Well,” Azriel started, “I don't think Rhysand would like that.”

“Oh okay.”

I’m gonna be honest I was also just kind of tired of Azriel. Being around him was very boring, I’m sure he’s interesting but he was just kind of weird to be around.

When we’d gotten to the house Rhysand was already waiting to bring us back to the House of Wind. Before he brought us I saw multiple people just staring at me, some gave me dirty looks, while a few looked curious. Mor was one of the ones who gave me the dirty look.

I ended up just looking at the ground before Rhysand winnowed us back, I didn’t realize until I got there that I was holding my breath.

Azriel ended up walking me to my room when Rhysand left, he tried to come into my room but I stopped him. I didn’t want a man who wasn’t my fiance in my room.

Once I was finally in my room I changed into sleeping clothes and immediately passed out, exhausted from not sleeping properly and being out all day. It was still really early but I didn’t care.

This is what my days for the next week and a half looked like, I’d only sleep when I was exhausted, I’d go for breakfast with Azriel, go to a random shop, read at night and after day two I got to add daily chattings with Lucien who decided to extend his stay in the Night Court due to me. Azriel was always there though. I’d grown more comfortable with Azriel, enough to make jokes with him and have real conversations. I was still pretty guarded but more comfortable.

Now, three days before I’d return to the Autumn Court, the Inner Court of Night decided they wanted to have dinner with me before I went. I agreed, hoping this would stop them from looking at me the way they did.

When I was ready, Azriel brought me to the dining room in the House of Wind, where the court already was. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I sat down, but I really didn’t have a way out of this anymore so I tried to ignore it.

“So (Y/N),” Mor started, “Why exactly are you engaged to Eris?”

“He’s been my friend for over 400 years and my lover for over a hundred,” I said more quietly than I wanted to.

“That long and you still don't see the asshole he is.” The winged male who I learned name was Cassian said.

“You don't know anything about Eris.” I said.

Before Cassian could continue with whatever he was gonna say, Rhysand spoke up, “Can we stop talking about Eris, it’s gonna ruin my appetite.”

Azriel ended up speaking up, “You know Nesta, (Y/N) likes books a lot too.”

Nesta, the eldest sister, perked up, “What kind?” She asked me.

“I like fantasy and thrillers. Some romance when I’m bored but a lot are boring to me.” I told her.

“I read romance,” She told me, meaning we basically read completely different things. Which makes talking about books a little hard.

I kind of felt bad as Azriel desperately tried to find something that I liked that they also liked. Azriel didn’t know a lot of the things I liked though, most of them were activities I did with Eris and I didn’t feel like having an argument with my mates friends.

Eventually the dinner fell silent except for the coo’s of the Highlord's son, who I had to admit was really cute.

With the dinner being silent I didn’t expect Rhysands question, “When do you plan on breaking the engagement with Eris and accepting the bond?”

I choked on my food. “Excuse me?”

“Azriel is your mate, it's inevitable that you’ll accept the bond.”

“The more you talk the more I’m inclined to not accept the bond.” I told Rhysand.

Azriel gave Rhysand a look to stop talking, but that's when Feyre began talking. “So you would choose a cruel dictator over Azriel?”

My jaw clenched, “Eris isn’t like that, you all know nothing of him.”

“Last I checked he’s the man who nailed a note to a womb.” Mor responded.

“Your father did that. Eris had nothing to do with that, the only reason he didn’t help you was because he knew if he did he’d be tied to you.” I said angrily.

“Just stop playing around (Y/N),” Rhysand said, “Eris is going to be in the past, Azriel is your mate. I understand that it will be weird at first but you will begin to love him. Nesta didn’t like Cassian that much in the beginning and now look at them.”

I slammed my fork down and stood up, “I’m going back to the Autumn Court, goodbye.” I said storming out of the room. I heard Azriel stand up to follow me.

I stormed to my room as fast as I could ignoring Azriel’s pleas behind me. Once I’d gotten to my room I slammed the door and locked it, immediately going to find some paper and ink to send Eris a letter.

I’d avoided sending him one out of anger for making me come here the first week. After I did because I felt sad he didn’t try to send me one first, I continued to not send one out of pride.

At this point in my anger pride did not exist, I needed Eris to come get me now. I refused to be winnowed by Rhysand or anyone else in the Night Court so this was my only option.

I began to hear knocking at my door and callings of my name from Azriel, all of which I ignored. I quickly found a piece of paper and began to messily write on it, a simple message to Eris telling him to get me now.

Before I could finish my door was opened for Azriel, how he did it, I have no idea. I turned to look at him who was walking towards me, he came and snatched the paper out of my hand.

“You're not going back yet, this wasn’t the deal.” He told me, raising the letter above his head.

I tried to grab it, “I didn’t agree to anything, I’ll do whatever I fucking want.” I said angrily.

When I realized I couldn’t grab the paper, I tried to hit him. He used his free hand to hold onto my wrists to stop me and dropped his other hand. I attempted to break free, yelling at him to let me go.

He began to move towards the unlit fireplace in my room, dragging me with him. He threw the paper into it and grabbed a match from on top of the fireplace. He lit the fireplace, burning my letter.

I looked at the fire in shock, my skin crawling. After a second I began to try to fight my way out of his grip again. He let me go which caused me to fall back, I hit my head on the corner of the bed as I fell.

“Shit (Y/N)!” Azriel yelled, in my blurry vision I could see him rushing toward me.

I felt him move his hand to the back of my head and slightly lift me up, “Shit, shit your bleeding.”

My blurry vision turned to my hearing defaulting, before the world went black.

#eris vanserra x reader smut #Eris #eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #acotar #acotar x reader #azriel #azriel x reader

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livlepretre · 4 months

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pt 2

“A Jeremy-who-was-not flickers in her mind’s eye, the details of his lifeless face grown hazy over the years. She pushes the memory down, down…” even so far down their relationship, the memory still haunts her, she cannot fully move past that situation Rebekah put her in (but she can forgive klaus for actually murdering her aunt in front of her? like im kinda surprised it doesn’t cross her mind much anymore, but so much time has passed and so much has changed)

I was a bit confused by this bit “A new enticement, that tears at her heart far worse than any other of Rebekah’s previous offers, because she knows that she will ultimately turn this one down, too. To take her up on it would be to place Jeremy directly before Klaus’s wrath.”, I see it this way: she was talking about Rebekah’s offer to go a different path when Esther awakes, as in going separate ways with Klaus, which of course he wouldn’t like and consequently, kill Jeremy. She knows she will ultimately turn this proposal down too, like her rejection of vampirism, because she can’t possibly leave Klaus behind. I may not be understanding it correctly; if so, pls correct me.

“And besides. Her mother will never awaken. Things will never be different.” this is 100% foreshadowing lol

“Elena rubs her palms against the echo of the past, of a time when she had stood victorious over that glorious force of nature.” Elena reminiscing about her past with Klaus? Stood victorious when she daggered him or when she had his devotion and had an impact on his decisions??

Also I wish we could get a Stefan x Kol friendship, I feel like you kinda hinted it when Stefan walked in the opera box. It would make Klaus even more lonely and depressed than he is rn which I NEED.

“Since you were obviously digging, there’s the answer to the question you so desperately wished to ask me: here is the subject I have been most intrigued by since my rude awakening last summer” the subject is the doppelgänger and her blood’s abilities? Very interesting

Can’t wait for the next chapter cause I feel like so many things will make more sense I HATE BEING IN THE DARK. Splendid chapter, I adore it and how you wrote Kol it’s just perfect👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Well. I think that if Elena was asking Klaus to track down information on Jenna/maybe even come into some kind of contact, she would have trauma flashbacks/misgivings about that too. Like, the situation is bringing it back up. I don't think Elena really forgave either Klaus for murdering Jenna or Rebekah for her cruelties in the usual sense we mean it in... I think Elena hit a breaking point, sanity-wise, and also emotionally, and gave herself permission to accept the totality of her feelings, which included falling in love with monsters. And it was sort of like-- okay. I will accept that this happened. I will accept that I still committed the very grave sin of falling in love with you, and I will stop punishing myself for what you did. But you mustn't do it again.

And-- I recognize that the past few updates have taken me years to roll out, but she does still think of Jenna-- she brought it up directly with Klaus as recently as chapter 63! (Even though Jenna was not mentioned by name, that is who she was talking about when she told him she had "forgiven worse.")

I interpret that little flash at any rate as Elena having this moment of clarity when she remembers Rebekah is a monster, and actually sees her that way, but she suppresses it because she's not able to deal with it.

Yes, your interpretation of the enticement bit is correct-- Rebekah is saying, here, choose me, go with me when my mother wakes up, and leave Klaus behind, and I can offer you a better future-- one that includes your brother in it (and also, of course, you as a vampire!). And Elena is tempted, because this is actually the thing that would really tempt her, but she can never turn it down because 1) she won't leave Klaus, for various fucked up reasons she cannot articulate to herself but which actually come down to the fact that she is loyal to him in her heart and, like him, thinks her fate is tied to his; 2) she takes Klaus's threat to kill her loved ones if she bails seriously, and she won't take that risk, when that has been the entire point of her sticking around all this time; and 3) she knows that Esther will never wake up because, per Klaus's confession to her, she is actually dead, and she knows Klaus is lying to the rest of them about being able to wake her up (just like on the show, right? ;-D )

probably a little of both, but mostly reminiscing about that time she murdered him/conquered him

there will be some Stefan x Kol friendship this next chapter, but I wouldn't call that a good thing!

maybe especially not for Klaus?

and yes, Kol is VERY interested in Elena's latent supernatural abilities, and how that power can be turned toward certain uses...

#asks #fairytale ending

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pinkcherryblossomangel · 1 year

Text

Away from myself

Chapter 2

- it's eight months after the last chapter

- it's seven months since Y/N saw some nasty responses to rumours

- it's six months since she started spiralling

- five months since she stopped replying to his text

- four months since she stopped reading them

- three months since he stopped messaging

- two months since she stopped sleeping properly

- one day till she has to see him again.

Starring

Bang Chan

Y/N

Han

Changbin

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Trigger warnings

Depression

Eating disorders

Body issues

Anxiety

Self-hatred

General poor mental health

Online hate

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

I wipe away my tears with my sleeve. Im gonna have to lie through my teeth.

"Sorry I've been watching..."

"About time?" He questions, a sense of familiarity lacing his voice. Of course he remembers my favourite film, we watched it three days in a row when we had a week off. Its a sense of comfort in a rushed world.

Enjoy every moment as if you've travelled back in time to savour this moment again.

His face looks different. Tired. Like when I first met him. By the last day on set he looked like a new man. Said sleeping beside me almost everynight helped lull him to sleep.

That's all we did. sleep. Never anything more. As much as I want to...wanted to. I can't cross that line. I know myself, I know I'd never be able to let him go. And he deserves better.

I'm suddenly acutely aware that we're standing in my doorway, and have been for way longer than is normal.

"Yes" I say, finally confirming the film. "Come in", I gesture to the couch "let's sit".

I sit down first, he goes to sit right next to me but changes direction to the other end of the couch.

An awkward silence fills the room.

Both our eyes avoiding each other.

I suddenly have become fascinated in the light fixture on the ceiling it seems.

My hands have become clammy and my chest has gone tight. I need to look at him. I try to steal a glance and turn to look at him, he looks at me too.

"Y/N", I look away, but he cups my face before I fully turn. I lean into his hand. It's like it was made to fit my face. I can't look at him, the tremble in his voice when he said my name proves what I already know. I've hurt this man. Hurt him so bad and yet he still has hope in us.

In me.

"Y/N, please look at me." I shut my eyes even harder, till I start seeing stars. "Please. You broke my heart you at least owe me this." My eyes errupt, tears streaming down my face. Every apologetic cliche spilling from my lips. His hands firmly grip my shoulders. He knows a panic attack is brewing. He shouldn't have to know. He shouldn't have to deal with this. With me.

"It's okay Y/N. Do you want me to hold you?" His voice honeyed and calm. "I can be your weighted blanket" He says trying to lighten the mood. I nod so hard I think my head will fall off, and climb into his lap. My head falls onto his chest. His arms wrap around me tightly, but not tight enough.

"Tighter" I say. He squeezes me till there's no gap between us. If you found us buried like this, you'd have a hard time deciphering which bone went where.

Eventually my breathing evens out. My pulse levels. My head feels less heavy.

I need to be brave.

I look up at him. His mouth's curved into a gentle smile. His eyes filled with love. His hand caressing my hair.

"You deserve more than me," the confession takes both of us aback. I don't remember choosing to say that. His brows furrow, his smile drops.

"What?" He moves so he can see my face. His eyes widen and lips press into a line.

"You deserve more than me" this time It's a conscious choice. Let's rip the band aid off. Be brave. "It's why I stopped responding. I thought it would be the easier way of ending whatever it was we were." I climb of off him, sitting back on the couch where I was before. His hands clench in unison with his jaw. His gaze transfixed on the floor.

Forever stretches between us before he answers.

"You don't get to do that. You don't get to be the martyr." His eyes still fixed on the floor. "You don't get to choose who I love. Who deserves my love." He lifts his head up but he can't meet my eyes. With a huff he lifts himself from the couch. "I thought I'd fucked up. I thought I was being too clingy..." he paces around my room, still not looking at me. "I thought I'd taken things too far, pushed you too far. I had Han and Changbin comforting me because I thought I had hurt you..." He doesn't raise his voice once. He just speaks his truth. "The guilt I felt"

"I'm sorry" the tears have started falling again. "It's just... my brain the way it works..." I don't know how to end this sentence. What do I say. "I didn't think you'd care if I just didn't respond. If you never saw me again." He quickly turns to face me. His face contorted with confusion. "I just... fuck I don't know how to say this. I don't know how to be honest"

"Just say it Y/N. Even if you think it doesn't make sense, let me try to understand. Please" His voice cracks, his words entwined with what sounds like desperation.

My hands cover my face, I can't look at him and say this. Pretend he's not here. I'm alone in my bedroom at home talking to myself as usual. What would I tell Chris if I knew there were no consequences. Just say it, it can't get any worse than I've already made it.

"I saw a tweet. A few tweets actually. Someone had spotted us that night we went to the karaoke bar. On our way there with your arm around me. It was actually a really cute picture." I exhale out my nose, trying to take the sting out of what I'm about say. "The replies weren't very nice." I sense chan move nearer to me, his hand fall to my knees. I flinch slightly from the sensation. I think he's crouching down in front of me. "Nothing I hadn't already said about myself. Nothing I hadn't heard before in real life. But they were confirming everything. I wasn't good enough for you. I'm not pretty enough or smart enough or famous enough." Every sentence adding to my building frustration. "If I was given a quid for every time I had read people comparing me to different fat animals, I'd be fucking loaded" I laugh. I have to, otherwise it'll break me even more. "I didn't want you to read them and..."

I don't want him to see what people say and agree.

I don't want him to be embarrassed by me.

I don't want him to regret being seen with me.

"I know I shouldn't have made the choice for you. I shouldn't have thought I know what's best for you, but I...I..." I take a deep breath. Be brave "I didn't want you to read them and realise they were right. And then I just spiralled further and further into this hole of self hatred. And I couldn't find a way out of it so I just ignored you." It all rushes out of me, my tongue getting tied every few words.

Silence

His hands find their way up to mine, and Chris moves them from my face, tucks his finger under my chin, and lifts it up so im looking at him. Our eyes meet, our breath in sync. He scans my face, like he's looking at something he can't quite believe exists, and then gently swipes his thumb across my cheek and cups my faces. I lean into him.

"How could I ever not want you?" We're both still, our eyes locked together. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met. The bravest person I have ever met. God knows if I could meet with vulnerability half as well as you can I would be the greatest lyricist know to mankind." He smiles

"You are already" I managed to say through sobs, smiling back at him. His eyes turn to crescents. I've missed that smile.

"I mean to be honest the songs I've written about you recently have been pretty good." He says half laughing

"You wrote about me?" My eyes widen, and I wipe the wetness off my face. I must be a right sight.

"Of course I did. I haven't been able to stop." He brushes my hair out of my face. "I've found a great muse in you. The way you make me feel is... safe. At home."

"I feel the same." I reply. His grin painting his face once more. I place my hand on his cheek. "I just need to work on myself. I can't accept your love before I accept my own. If you get what I mean." His smile slowly fades, but his eyes are filled with admiration. He leans in and kisses my forehead.

"I know what you mean." He pauses "but would you do me the honour of sharing that journey with you? We don't have to be anything official. I just... I wanna be here for you. I don't want you to isolate yourself again."

"I didn't isolate..."

"I spoke to Tash and Jenna. Well they spoke to me. They reached out because you weren't responding. It's okay I'm sure they'll understand" He must've seen me realise I'm gonna have to explain myself to 3 more people. "How can anyone stay made at you" His face is once again completed with his smile.

"I want you there with me. On this path to self love." I pause "I think I may have out done myself with the cringey metaphors" I laugh.

I stand up from the couch, and Chris follows suit. He's taller than me which is strange, so I look down.

"Nice heels" I snark. I'm usually almost 2 inches taller than him. He chuckles, whilst wrapping me in his arms.

"Breaking them in for tomorrow", he smells the same. I feel every tension in my body slowly dissipate as a breathe him in.

"I've missed you" I say into his neck. He hugs back harder in response.

"Y/N!!! I GOT US FACE MASKS!!" My mum yells from my door. I break from chris' embrace. He looks almost scared by the sudden yelling.

"That's my mum. We're northern, yelling is normal." I laugh. "Uhm I guess you're about to meet her." He sticks his hands in his pockets. He's nervous. "Just say hey and you can go if you want. It's been a lot already tonight" he combs his hand through his hair.

"That may be best. I think I'll sleep well tonight." He replies.

"Me too", I lead him to the door preparing for this meeting between chan and my mum.

#bang chan #bang chan fanfic #bang chris #christopher bang #han jisung #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #chris bang

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