#choirsona incorrect quotes

[crying-pan420]

@trendyshadowqueen @thisistheroomofthedead incorrect quotes

Diego : *coughs blood* 
Aaron : Don't die, Diego ! 
Diego : Don't tell me what to do!

*While planning to break in somewhere* 
Liam : Hey, let's do "Get Help!" 
Diego : What? 
Liam : "Get Help." 
Diego : No. 
Liam : C'mon, you love it! 
Diego : I hate it. 
Liam : It's great! It works every time! 
Diego : It's humiliating. 
Liam : Do you have a better plan? 
Diego : No. 
Liam : We're doing it! 
Diego : We are not doing "Get Help!" 
*A Minute Later* 
Liam , carrying Diego : Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Diego at guards, knocking them out* 
Liam : Ahh, classic! 
Diego : *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating. 
Liam , laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Diego : Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it. 
Jade: ...what happened? 
Diego : I made a VERY bad mistake.

Aaron , texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like? 
Liam : *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside* 
Jade: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside* 
Diego : *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple* 
Aaron : I hate all of you.

Aaron : What's worse than a heartbreak? 
Jade: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. 
Liam : Waking up in the morning. 
Diego : Waking up.

Jade: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? 
Liam : Um, murder??? 
Aaron : Adventuring! 
Diego : Tuesday.

Liam : Today at 7 am, Diego poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. 
Jade: I watched Diego brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. 
Aaron : The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Jade: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. 
Liam : Well, that was entirely predictable. 
Jade: One of them punched a gang member. 
Liam : Aaron ? 
Jade: Diego , actually. 
Liam : Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

Liam : So Aaron was just using me? 
Jade: I’m sorry, Liam . 
Diego , trying to contain their amusement: You must feel pretty stupid right now. 
Liam : 
Jade: Ok, that’s a time-out. 
Diego : No, I was just trying to- 
Jade: Go sit over there! 
Diego : *walks away in defeat*

Aaron : *points at Liam * A human turtleneck, *points at Jade* a narcissistic monster, *points at Diego * and literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met. 
Diego : And who am I? Describe me now

Jade: Yesterday, I watched Diego try to eat a decorative rock from Liam 's potted plant. Aaron caught them, and told them they can't eat rocks. Diego started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

Liam : Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Aaron . They're mad at you. 
Aaron : No, it's Diego . They're just being gramatically correct! 
*meanwhile* 
Diego : And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. 
Jade: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. 
Diego : I stand by my choice.

Diego : I’m gonna die alone. 
Liam : Diego , you’re not gonna die alone. 
Diego : Aaron , was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. 
Jade: Uh-huh. Why is that? 
Diego : If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. 
Diego : So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. 
Diego : Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

Aaron : Good night. 
Liam : Sleep tight. 
Diego : Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. 
Jade: Great, now Liam 's crying.

[wpjahhglhs5rph]

4 5 1 7 8 9 2 6 3 0

[ella-ashmore]

ace: please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste arabella: we got spring water ace: NO!! alex: with EXTRA minerals arabella: it's like licking a stalagmite! ace: DON'T COME HOME! alex: mmmm.... cave water :]

@whattheworldneeds posts brought 2 u by the one line abt ace's siblings being friends w arabella

[the-laziest-boy-in-town]

Conner: purple hair you probably have pronouns too

Diego:..?

Jade: me personally I would not let that slide

Juno: stop bullying you guys!

@luckynature @trendyshadowqueen ?

[moonmoonthecrabking]

some choirsona incorrect quotes to introduce y'all to adrian!!!

Adrian: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just incase. Julia: Adrian, that's a coma. Adrian: Sounds like a relief.

Adrian: Change is inedible. Julia: Don't you mean inevitable? Adrian, spitting out coins: See how little you know me.

Julia: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Adrian: Killed without hesitation. Julia: No.

Julia: I'm incredibly fast at math. Adrian: Alright, what's 30x17? Julia: 47 Adrian: That's not even close. Lucille: But it was fast!

Lucille, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Adrian: You did WHAT– Julia: William Snakepeare

Adrian: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness. Julia: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you!! Lucille: Awwwww, thanks Julia! *kisses*

Adrian: Everyone, synchronise your watches. Julia: I don’t know how to do that. Robin: I don’t wear a watch. Juno: Time is a construct!!

Juno: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Juno and Seymour, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Julia: Our turn, Adrian! One, two, three- vanilla! Adrian, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Julia, trying to convince Adrian to join the group: You know… I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really… strong! Lucille: And silent! Juno: And grumpy! Robin: And oblivious to reality! Adrian: Thanks.

Calypso: While I’m gone, Robin, you’re in charge. Robin: Yes!!! Calypso, whispering: Adrian, you’re secretly in charge. Adrian: Obviously.

@myperfecttalia @luckynature @thisistheroomofthedead thoughts feelings vibes?????

[king0fbr0kenhearts]

Juno, to corilie in spanish: Corilie cuantas horas has dormido? (Corilie how many hours have you slept?)

Corilie's sleep deprived ass: Cual pan molido? (what ground bread?)

@luckynature is this accurate? Lol

[crying-pan420]

Alright hand over names of your choirsonas if you want to be included in me putting names into the incorrect quote website

[ella-ashmore]

robin: favorite horror movie? mine's IT

juno: carrie!

calypso: annabelle

aria: high school musical. after watching it i spent my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and i'd be the only one that didn't know the lyrics

[the-laziest-boy-in-town]

Pros and cons of dating me.

Pros, you’ll be the cute one

Cons, holy shit where do I start

[moonmoonthecrabking]

julia: you can fix any problem with friendship!!!

juno: ...is that the name of the knife diego gave you?

julia: *nods*

diego: it wasn't a gift, it was a stabbing

@luckynature @crying-pan420 thoughts???

[crying-pan420]

CHOIRSONA 10!!!

10 of these..

—————————————————

Isabella: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Milo will and will not eat.

Phillip: Grass? Yes!

Isabella: Moss? Yes!!

Phillip: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Isabella: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Phillip: Worms? Sometimes!

Isabella: Rocks? Usually nah.

Phillip: Twigs? Usually!

Isabella: Paloma's cooking? Inconclusive!

Alex: How did you… test this?

Isabella: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this��� and if they eat it, they eat it.

Alex: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Paloma: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

—————————————————

Lemon: Hi.

Diego: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell them?

Lemon: I did.

Diego: And what did they say?

Lemon: “Thank you.”

Diego: You’re totally welcome. What’d they say?

Lemon: They said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and Carrie said, “Thank you.”

—————————————————

Seymour : Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon.

Paloma: Cool.

Seymour : Do you know who Joe is?

Paloma: JOE MAMA!

Arabella, not even looking up from their phone: Damn, that backfired.

—————————————————

Amira: What should I do?

Tanya: *holds out hand* May I suggest dinner with a friend?

Amira: Well, none of my friends are available, so I guess I'll have to go with you.

—————————————————

Diego to Carrie: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...

Juno: Cockroach ankles!

Diego: Ye- uh, what?

—————————————————

Leo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Evi, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Evi, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

—————————————————

Isabella: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Carrie: What changed your mind?

Isabella: Oh, now I know that you’re a fake bitch. Why do you ask?

—————————————————

Diego, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Diego, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?

Diego: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.

—————————————————

Robin, to the Squad: I’d die for you.

Emmy: Then perish.

Sarah Marie: You will.

Ire: Please don’t.

Echo: Cool.

Marcus: I’d die for you first.

—————————————————

Arabella: Okay happy campers! If you were a fruit what would you be and why?

Marcus: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Arabella: ...

Marcus: ...

Arabella: OKAY HAPPY CAMPERS-

—————————————————

Carrie: I think it’s time I get my life in order.

Wren, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

—————————————————

Sarah Marie: Lemon, we tried things your way.

Lemon: No, we didn't.

Sarah Marie: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

—————————————————

Huì yǐng: I am an expert at identifying birds.

Paloma: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Huì yǐng: Yeah, they're all birds.

—————————————————

Evi: Hand me the people opener.

Gail: ...

Gail: Pardon?

Evi, annoyed: The people opener! Just hand it to me!

Gail, stressed: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER?

Evi: How do you not know what a people opener is? Its pointy- you know? With a handle?

Gail: Knife. It's called a knife.

—————————————————

Ire: Here you go, Wren, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Wren: It's cold.

Ire: A nice cup of coffee.

Wren: It's horrible!

Ire: Cup of coffee.

Wren: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Ire: C U P.

—————————————————

Echo: I'm tired.

Calypso: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!

Echo: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.

—————————————————

Leo: I'm tired.

Alex: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!

Leo: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.

—————————————————

Juno: If you want my advice-

Diego: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.

Juno: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me.

Ire: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

—————————————————

Calypso: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

—————————————————

Diego: Evi, my old friend!

Evi: I think you tried to kill me at some point.

Diego: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

—————————————————

Echo: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other.

*later, in a barfight*

Echo: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face*

—————————————————

Isabelle, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because...

Isabelle, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

—————————————————

Evi: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*

Amira: Evi, what did you think a tiger shark was?

—————————————————

Alex: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought!

Lemon: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

—————————————————

Calypso: You think you're smarter than everyone else.

Leo: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

—————————————————

Calypso: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”

Calypso: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing.

Calypso: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

—————————————————

Lemon: Milo, you're my best friend.

Milo: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Milo: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

—————————————————

Tanya: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything Paloma does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Isabelle: If Paloma were to jump off a cliff, they would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Paloma jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Echo: You jump off a cliff!

Isabelle: Gladly, provided Paloma did first.

—————————————————

[ella-ashmore]

robin: bye juno! bye calypso! bye jules! bye phillip! bye juno!

calypso: you said 'bye juno' twice, nerd.

robin: i like juno.

[crying-pan420]

Juno: hey Jade could you pass me the salt?

Jade: of course *throws Diego across the table*

@luckynature and @trendyshadowqueen thoughts?

[crying-pan420]

PART 11

I’m dying

———————————————————

Sarah Marie: Can I ask you for a favor?

Phillip: I would literally die for you, but continue.

Sarah Marie: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.

———————————————————

Seymour : Good night.

Paloma: Sleep tight.

Amira: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself.

Emmy: Great, now Paloma's crying.

———————————————————

Lemon: Why do you hang out with me?

Arabella: You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Lemon: …

Lemon: I feel a bit sorry for you.

———————————————————

Marcus: What happened?!

Leo: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Marcus: Sh-short??

Leo: Shit's fucked.

Marcus: Okay, long.

Leo: Shit's very fucked.

———————————————————

Carrie, grinning: Before you were what?

Isabella: Before I was-

Carrie: What?

Isabella: Before I was inter-

Carrie: Before you were interrupted?

Isabella: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll-

Carrie: What?

Isabella: *makes frustrated sound*

Arabella, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you.

———————————————————

Carrie: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?

Phillip: I only like dark humor.

Carrie, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?

Phillip:

Carrie: An IMPASTA!

———————————————————

Huì yǐng: Truth or dare?

Sarah Marie: Dare.

Huì yǐng: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Sarah Marie: Hey Tanya?

Tanya, blushing: Yeah?

Sarah Marie: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Arabella.

———————————————————

Evi walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Wren, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Wren, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

———————————————————

*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away*

Gail: So how do you know the host?

Marcus: They were a former vegan, and they bought milk.

Tanya: That BITCH!

Paloma: I pulled them over for money laundering.

Echo: I'm chaperoning their dinner party.

Isabella: They stole a baconator!

Tanya: That BITCH!

Gail: I tanked the store they were managing and they convinced me to quit from one of the only jobs I've ever had. Now I'm living off of unemployment checks and fear!

———————————————————

Leo: I am your king, long may I reign!

Lemon: Well I didn’t vote for you!

Leo: You don’t vote for kings.

Lemon: Well how’d you become king then?

Leo: Alex of the Lake, their arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Leo, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Lemon: Listen. Strange people lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

———————————————————

Lemon: Please pray for Edmund.

Isabelle: What happened to them?

Lemon: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

———————————————————

Tanya: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Juno, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Juno: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

———————————————————

Lemon: Remember what I told you.

Levi: Don’t be a cunt.

———————————————————

Isabella: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Seymour . They're mad at you.

Seymour : No, it's Evi. They're just being gramatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Evi: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.

Lemon: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Evi: I stand by my choice.

———————————————————

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Lemon*

Lemon: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

———————————————————

Robin: Are you a cuddler?

Julia: I'm a machine of death and destruction.

Robin:

Julia: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

———————————————————

Julia: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.

Edmund: Why?

Julia, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.

———————————————————

Milo: Levi isn’t answering my messages.

Marcus: Allow me.

Milo: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-

Levi: *replying to message* Hello.

———————————————————

Leo: Fight me!

Wren, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

———————————————————

Diego: I fell—

Carrie: From heaven?

Diego: No, I literally fell—

Carrie: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Diego: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Carrie: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

———————————————————

Lemon: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

———————————————————

Lucille: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Aria: Um, murder???

Amira: Adventuring!

Isaac: Tuesday.

———————————————————

Calypso: *watching their house burn down*

Calypso:

Calypso: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

———————————————————

Lemon: Phillip is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.

———————————————————

[crying-pan420]

PART 13!!!

How did this happen

——————————————————————————

Echo, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out?

Rowan: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

——————————————————————————

Ire: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Juno: I photosynthesize with this.

——————————————————————————

Lucille: You guys worried about Aria?

Milo: Totally!

Diego: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"

Lucille: And what'd you say?

Diego: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."

Milo:

Lucille: They're lucky to have you as a friend.

——————————————————————————

Evi: Yesterday, I watched Seymour try to eat a decorative rock from Marcus's potted plant. Tanya caught them, and told them they can't eat rocks. Seymour started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

——————————————————————————

Jade: You have your weirdly sincere humility.

Aria: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

——————————————————————————

Emmy: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Emmy: *upends the bottle*

——————————————————————————

Juno: *is visibly upset*

Arabella: Juno, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

——————————————————————————

Amira: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.

——————————————————————————

Arabella: I have a 1:30 appointment.

Calypso: Which doctor?

Arabella: No, I want the regular doctor.

——————————————————————————

Edmund: And now for a gay update with Evi and Amira.

Evi: Getting gayer.

Edmund: Thank you, Evi.

——————————————————————————

Juno: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome.

Evi: That’s 200%.

Juno: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.

——————————————————————————

Carrie: Amira's first detention, I'm so proud.

Levi: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?

Milo: Because they're an idiot.

Echo, terrified: They can do that??

——————————————————————————

Julia: When was the last time you cried?

Jade: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??

Julia: really? That recent?

Jade: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*

——————————————————————————

Marcus: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.

Diego: You hang out with Marjane, Levi, Jade, and Leo.

Diego: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

——————————————————————————

Diego: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

——————————————————————————

Sarah Marie: What’s the dumbest thing you believed as a child?

Alex: That naptime was a punishment.

——————————————————————————

Robin: Why does everyone want to kill Isaac?

Evi: Because, goddamnit, have you seen them? Their neck looks so snappable.

——————————————————————————

Isaac: I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood.

Isaac: I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040, and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. And the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404".

Isaac: And I actually laughed out loud.

——————————————————————————

Milo: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

——————————————————————————

Wren, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Rowan: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Wren:

Wren: Water you doing?

——————————————————————————

Lucille: Where's Gail?

Lemon: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Lemon, shouting: Isabella sucks!

Gail, distantly: Isabella is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Lemon: Found them.

——————————————————————————

Jade: Remember, Alex, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Alex: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

——————————————————————————

Alex: Evi, we're hungry!

Seymour : Evi! What's for dinner?

Paloma: We're hungry, Evi!

Evi, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

——————————————————————————

Lucille, watching Huì yǐng do something stupid: Alex, you're officially only the second highest risk here.

Alex: Hell yeah! I'm gonna—

Lucille: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

——————————————————————————

Arabella: What's gone wrong, Seymour ?

Seymour : Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.

Arabella: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

Seymour : Well... There’s a crisis.

——————————————————————————

Marcus: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

——————————————————————————

Phillip: Guess what number I’m thinking of.

Ire: 420?

Phillip: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.

Jade: 69.

Phillip: Yeah it was 69.

——————————————————————————

Juno: Like, no offense to myself and all, but what the fuck am I actually doing?

——————————————————————————

Milo: Why would you give a knife to Emmy?!

Amira, shrugging: Emmy felt unsafe.

Milo: Now I feel unsafe!

Amira: I’m sorry…

Amira: Would you like a knife?

——————————————————————————

Tanya: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Emmy: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Tanya: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Emmy: But I heard a siren.

Amira: That was Phillip.

Phillip: Sorry, I got nervous.

——————————————————————————

Alex: You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

——————————————————————————

Echo: I’m scared that when you become rich and famous you’ll be embarrassed by me.

Carrie: Oh Echo, I’m already embarrassed by you.

——————————————————————————

Wren, putting their hands over Isabelle's eyes: Guess who!

Isabelle: It's either Wren or the cold, clammy hands of death.

Wren, putting their hands away: It's Wren!

Isabelle: Dammit.

——————————————————————————

Julia: I don't dab. I stab.

——————————————————————————

Evi: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

——————————————————————————

Jade: H-how do you ask someone out?

Diego: Well, first-

Parker: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.

Jade: ...And you said yes?

——————————————————————————

Gail: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple...

Alex: I really care about your feelings!

Calypso: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Gail, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...

Robin: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Juno: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

——————————————————————————

Sarah Marie: Paloma, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Paloma: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Sarah Marie: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Jade.

Paloma: Wait- Sarah Marie, no-

——————————————————————————

Marcus: Guess what I'm about to get!

Isabella: On my nerves.

——————————————————————————

Lucille: How the hell are you still alive?

Diego: Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are.

——————————————————————————

Milo: Are you a cuddler?

Huì yǐng: I'm a machine of death and destruction.

Milo:

Huì yǐng: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

——————————————————————————

Isabella: So what’s the plan?

Diego: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at Evi* they’re mean, come up with something.

——————————————————————————

Isaac: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year.

Echo: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you guys think I have anger issues?

Ire: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is something you can fix.

——————————————————————————

Isabelle, holding a scooter: Gail! Can I go outside and play with this?

Gail: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?

Isabelle, running outside: Thanks Gail!

Gail, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

——————————————————————————

[crying-pan420]

PART THREE CHOIRSONA!!!

ahhhhhhhhhh! same as the last two.

———————————————-

Isabella: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Diego.

Juno, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?

Isabella: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.

Juno: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Isabella: You wanted fake blood?

Juno:

Isabella: I’ll go call Diego.

———————————————-

  Diego: What are you doing here?

Juno: I could ask you the same question.

Diego: I live here. This is my house.

Juno: I should probably ask you a different question.

———————————————-

  Carrie, near tears: Please, Huì yǐng, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

———————————————-

  Isaac: You know what I learned from my friendship with Isabelle?

Isabella: There’s no such thing as too mean?

Carrie: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Calypso: Always hold a grudge?

———————————————-

   Wren: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

Isabella: Being a fish.

Wren: Well, shit.

———————————————-

  Juno: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

———————————————-

 Wren: Do you know a turtles only weakness?

Huì yǐng: No... well, their slowness.

Wren: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Wren: Now I have a plan.

Wren: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

———————————————-

  Diego: All of your existences are confusing.

The Squad: How so?

Diego: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

———————————————-

  Diego: Why did you kidnap Juno!?!?!

Lemon: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh...

Robin: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal.

Diego: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!

———————————————-

  Wren: Why did you kidnap Isabelle!?!?!

Seymour : Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh...

Lemon: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal.

Wren: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!

———————————————-

  Juno: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

———————————————-

 Huì yǐng: Tell Carrie off, Isaac! Assert yourself!

Isaac: That's my ice cream!

Huì yǐng: Good! Now let them have it!!

Isaac, handing Carrie the ice cream: Here, you can have it!

———————————————-

  Ire: *lying down and crying*

Juno: There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?

———————————————-

  Lemon: How long do you think it'll take?

Diego: I don’t know, three or four.

Lemon: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Diego: Yeah, maybe five.

Lemon: Five what?!

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