#choices: stories we queue

[damngoodbabysiitter]

Ranking the BBC Robin Hood gang (based on these polls):

3. Djaq "I had a brother, a twin. He was killed in your Crusades. I became him. His name was Djaq. He still lives here, inside me."

[where-the-wind-travels]

ilw incorrects comp mode ✦ part 2

[anmwrites]

Beneath the Surface

Azriel x Reader

Hi All! So this isn't one of the Az requests unfortunately, but this is one of my private fics I already had written. I'm still working on the Az request that's in the queue, but I'm lowkey hating everything I've been writing so it'll probably take me a little longer to perfect it.

In the meantime, I wanted to get something put up for you all. Sticking to the fandom that was requested I decided to post this Az fic! Probably very stereotypical trope, but this was what I got. This one is a little heavier than my Xaden fic, so please read with caution. I hope you all enjoy!

Content Warning: Mentions of Suicide, self-sabotage, depression, & guilt

Again, I apologize if I missed any other warnings. Please read with caution.

Talk soon, and please enjoy!

“I’m getting her back,” a low growl cut through the tent. Y/N’s head whipped to the Shadowsinger. “I’m going with you,” her High Lady’s voice intervened. “Then you will both die,” her sister’s cold voice replied. 

Y/N’s head was reeling. In just hours after scrying for the Cauldron, the Inner Circle and then some were gathered around in the middle Archeron’s tent. She was stolen away. Lured by the promise of her human past. And…and Azriel was the first to throw himself into harm's way. 

Y/N was barely there as she watched Feyre shift into the dead priestess. Barely there as everyone began moving, readying themselves for their departure. Azriel hadn’t glanced once at her. His best friend. 

A silent brush of claws filled the Illyrian’s head. Y/N dropped her shields momentarily allowing Rhys’ voice to float into her mind. You are awfully quiet. Y/N snorted. He can do whatever he sees fit. A bemused feeling washed over her as Rhys carefully crafted his next words. I heard what happened. Quite a nasty little argument you had with him earlier. Y/N’s eyes shot to Rhys who was conveniently studying the daggers Cassian was equipping Feyre with. He started it. Trying to sideline me. I may not have wings but I know how to fight. 

Rhys finally met her gaze, You need to tell him. 

Tell him what exactly, brother? Y/N quirked her brow. 

You know. The fact that you are in love with him.

Feyre’s eyes darted back and forth between her mate and Y/N clearly noting they were having some form of silent conversation. He made his choice Rhys. Just as it’s always been for the past five centuries. There’s no point in telling him now. 

Truth be told, Y/N had known this story. Had lived through it with Mor. And now she had to live through it again with Elain. Her best friend, for centuries, after Rhys’ mother had taken her in regardless of her lack of wings, was hopelessly in love with another female…as usual. It was nothing new to Y/N. He only saw her as a friend. A sister perhaps. 

Y/N wasn’t really sure when her own feelings had shifted. Her and Azriel were always more than just siblings like she was with Rhys and Cassian. Everyone around knew there was something special between them. So much so that Y/N had even felt a spark of hope until Azriel met Mor, and then the whole incident with Cassian, Eris, and Mor’s father occurred. She slowly realized he would never see her as more than a friend, and Y/N began to be okay with that. And then she watched him do it again when Feyre’s sister entered the picture. It stung, but she was used to it. 

There is the point that we all may die or he may die. Rhys’ voice cut into her thoughts. Rhys. Stop. I can’t think about all of this right now or I will break. He’ll be fine. Rhys merely gave her a sympathetic feeling before she felt his presence exit her mind. He was right though. Azriel could very well die. She needed air. Or she would lose it. The initial shock of his announcement wearing off, nervousness settling in. 

Y/N quietly retreated outside of the stifling tent. The cool night air brushed over her clammy face as she took a deep breath. Something tickled at her ankles. She glanced down to see a single tendril of a shadow wrapped around it. She gave it a small smile. “I’m alright,” she whispered to it. “Go tell him I’m fine.” 

The little wisp of darkness hesitated before retreating back into the tent. Y/N grimaced, that old, familiar feeling of heartache seeping into her chest. She didn’t want him to go. Nesta and Rhys were right. They most likely would die. Everyone saw what the camp looked like. Elain could be anywhere. And selfishly, she did not want her High Lady and Shadowsinger to go in there. Especially her Shadowsinger.

A single tear slipped down her cheek, and Y/N took a shaky breath. A quiet rustle behind her signaled someone had stepped out of the tent. She felt him before she saw him as she always did. Slowly, Y/N turned around and saw Azriel standing behind her. His face softened as he took her in. “Y/N I…” he started, approaching her. “I–I’m sorry about what I said earlier.” Y/N sighed before meeting him halfway. Her heart crumpled. He was still her best friend, and she still cared. “It’s okay, Az. I understand,” she said quietly, gazing up into his warm eyes. Eyes she was so, so familiar with. His warmth engulfed her, as they were standing maybe just a hair closer than any normal friends would stand. 

“No. It’s not. I just–you’re not incompetent. I know what you can do on a battlefield. It’s just–I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he signed, taking his hand in hers. Y/N watched as his gaze fell on their intertwined hands. He fiddled with her fingers as a nervous habit. 

“I know. I don’t want to see you get hurt either,” Y/N whispered, her unspoken selfish words hanging in the air. Azriel’s eyes flicked back to hers studying for a moment. Were they closer? Y/N thought to herself. “Say it,” he replied. “Say the words and I won’t do it. I won’t go.” 

Y/N’s heart picked up. She knew if she told him not to go after Elain he wouldn’t. He would drop it immediately. But Feyre’s face flashed in her head. Nesta’s moans of pain ripped through her. They were a part of their family now. Y/N shook her head, more tears slipping down her face. “I can’t do that,” she let out a shaky laugh, casting her head down. His other hand felt warm as he caressed her face, wiping the tears away with his thumb. 

“You’re the only one who has a chance to get in and out without being noticed. You have to get both of them out. They’re family now,” Y/N whispered. Azriel didn’t say anything, but when she met his intense gaze, those three little words felt heavy on her tongue. Looking into his eyes, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him so bad it was like her skin was on fire. Y/N couldn’t breathe. He could very well be walking right into his death. 

But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t drop the biggest bomb on their friendship when he needed his sole focus elsewhere. So, she stayed silent. She stayed silent even as he nodded and said, “I’ll be fine. I promise I’ll come back to you.” She stayed silent when he pulled her into his warm body and hugged her a little tighter. Y/N stayed quiet even when he led her back into the tent and she watched him disappear with their High Lady in the blink of an eye.

•••

Rhys let out a shaky breath after the departure of his mate and brother. As everyone dispersed, he noticed Y/N was still frozen in place, staring at the spot where the pair had just disappeared. He could see her visibly shaking. Cassian passed her and gave her a sympathetic look and pat on the shoulder before he exited. Rhys slowly approached her. 

“I couldn’t do it,” Y/N said without turning to him. Rhys could hear the tears in her voice. The uneven breaths she took. “He told me to tell him to stay and he would’ve in a heartbeat. I couldn’t do that to Feyre. To you. To our family,” she continued. Rhys opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure what to say. His heart was so full of emotions. Terror, absolute terror for his mate and his brother. Love–love for his unselfish sister. The baby he saw that day his mother brought her home. All in a frantic rush to warm up this little, tiny fragile thing she found in the snow, abandoned by her blood relatives because fate was cruel and did not give her wings. 

Y/N let out another shaky sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re also trying to keep it together. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now.” 

This. This was why he felt he had to take it all on himself. Rhys’ heart was breaking for her. For his most kind and caring, living sister. This beautiful soul who has slowly fallen in love with Azriel for all of the centuries spent together. He didn’t understand why the Mother didn’t make them mates…his train of thought paused. It was as if he was hit with a brick. Sifting through all his memories and countless conversations with her, it finally clicked into place. 

“How long have you known?” Rhys asked quietly. Y/N slowly turned to face him. Pain and anguish, only that of which someone with a mate would know. The same pain and anguish he felt watching Feyre disappear. Y/N let out a bitter laugh, “Since Starfall five years ago. When you were…away.” Rhys was slightly shocked. He noticed the smallest shift in their relationship when he had returned. But after all it, he expected everything to be different. 

“Why didn’t you tell him? Me? Does Cassian know?” Rhys asked. Y/N shook her head, “I didn’t tell him because we were all dealing with the loss. I didn’t let myself find peace while you were gone. I couldn’t. I knew there were horrors you were enduring. Horrors I couldn’t even fathom, and I just couldn’t let myself be happy. And Az, well Az went to a dark place when you were gone. The only thing he clung to was his love for Mor, and I couldn’t disrupt his entire life. I wouldn’t. We didn’t speak for a few months after you were taken. We were all a mess,” tears flowed freely down her face as she spoke to him. 

Rhys could barely contain his. 

“So I buried it. I buried it so deep inside of myself no one would pick up on it. Or at least notice it without having to scrutinize me. I wanted to tell you. I really did, but I saw how you were when you returned Rhys. I couldn’t do that to you. You were trying so hard to pretend like you were okay and then your mate was with another. I just couldn’t do that to you, so I didn’t. I continued to bury it, but it just…just all got away from me.”

Y/N let out a choked sob that had Rhys moving. His arms wrapped around her engulfing her in a hug. “Oh you sweet, sweet thing,” he whispered, “My sweet sister,” he started, pulling back a bit to look at her. “You never need to hide anything from me. No matter what I am going through, you can always come to me. I am so, so happy for you. Although, I do need to kick Az around Velaris a bit since he cannot see what has always been right in front of him.” Y/N let out a garbled laugh before burying her head back in his chest. 

“We’ll figure it out, Y/N. Whatever is going on in Az’s head. We’ll figure it out together. When all of this is over. We’ll both get our happy ending. I promise you that,” Rhys concluded. Y/N only nodded, before stepping out of his arms and wiping her face. “Cassian suspected it and I’m sure Amren knows. She has never mentioned it to me but Cass has. I didn’t confirm anything with him and he hasn’t mentioned it to Az.” Rhys nodded, guiding her outside of the tent for some fresh air.  

•••

Y/N knew she should have told someone about the mating bond. It was something she could only suppress so much. But the guilt she and the rest of the inner circle felt when Rhys sacrificed himself ate at her too much. How could she let herself be happy when their High Lord and brother was subjecting himself to the horrors Under the Mountain, willingly, to protect them. 

There was no point dwelling on it now. Not as she paced in front of Rhys who was sitting tense in front of his war tent. The minutes ticked by all too slowly as they silently awaited Azriel and Feyre’s return. “Tell me about when it happened,” Rhys said quietly, interrupting Y/N’s nervous pacing. She stopped and looked at him. His eyes were glazed over like mind was somewhere else. He needed a distraction. For her brother, she would tell him everything. 

Y/N took a breath. “Starfall wasn’t the same without you. We knew how much the celebrations meant to you and so did Velaris. We never hosted a grand party anymore. The House was opened to those who wished to join, but it was almost as if the city was mourning the loss of our High Lord. Some came, but it was another quiet celebration.”

Rhys’ gaze flicked to hers. 

“I–I was upset that five years had already gone by and you weren’t able to see this and be there with us,” Y/N continued, “I was close to breaking by that point. My hope was running out. I was up on the private balcony where you and Feyre celebrated. Azriel of course found me. Sitting there, silently looking at the stars or spirits or whatever. Wishing on them so hard that they would return you to us.”

“He sat with me for I don’t even know how long. Let me cry on his shoulder and just be a comfort. Everyone held it together a lot better than I did, Rhys. You were my brother. My first family and the one who took care of me when I had nothing. When we lost your mother and our sister, you were the only thing I had left of them.” 

Y/N sniffed, more tears running down her face as she took herself back to that night. “I honestly debated pitching myself off that balcony that night,” she muttered bitterly. Rough hands immediately grabbed her face. Rhys’ anguish poured off of him as he seethed at her, “Do not ever think that. Even when I am gone. Never.” 

Y/N gazed at him for a moment before slowly nodding, continuing her story, “But Az came up. His presence was like a lifeline. And when I finally stopped moping and looked at him he gave me one of his rare true smiles. Sad, but also his true smile. I felt it then when I looked at him. Like a beautiful golden thread tethering him to me. Pulling me out of that abyss. I don’t know if he knew it, but I knew.” 

“I’ve always loved him. From when we were kids. I can’t tell you when my feelings shifted, but I have always loved him and I always will,” Y/N concluded. Rhys looked at her with a mixture of sadness and pure joy. He was about to open his mouth when commotion snapped them both out of it. 

Y/N’s head whipped so fast to the outskirts of the camp. There they were. Covered in mud and dragging along two petite figures. Y/N let out a strangled cry before tearing away from Rhys. The latter hot on her heels. She smelled the blood before she saw it. 

As she approached the puddle of people, her blood ran cold and she stopped dead in her tracks as she watched Elain plant a gentle kiss on Azriel’s cheek. She heard a faint “Thank you” before Elain was being swept up by others. Feyre reached Rhys first, letting out a strangled, “I’m alright…Azriel’s wings.” That kicked Y/N back into motion. 

She flung herself at the Shadowsinger causing him to let out an oomph. Though her heart ached at what she just witnessed, she still needed to make sure he was okay. “You–your wings,” she cried after releasing him. She frantically began inspecting every inch of him. “Hey, hey…” he said, grabbing both of her wrists. Y/N was too much in a state of horror. “Y/N look at me,” Az said quietly. She finally snapped her gaze to him. “I’m okay. I’m right here. I’m alive,” he said, giving her a strained smile. His hand reached up, brushing a stray hair out of her face. Y/N merely nodded more to herself than anything as Rhys came around and helped lift him. “We need to get Madja before anything permanent sets,” Rhys grunted, hoisting him up. Azriel swayed a bit. Y/N let in a sharp intake, flinching a bit as she felt some of his pain. 

Az gave her a weird look but she just shook her head, burying that golden thread down and down once again. Rhys began moving as Cassian took up Azriel’s other side, leading them away from her. Y/N noticed Feyre and hurried to her. She looked as if she was still in a daze. Y/N gently took her hand and led her to her tent. “You’re okay,” Y/N whispered gently as she settled in to help clean her up. Feyre merely nodded. 

The minutes flew by and soon Feyre was curled in her bed, cocooned by her sisters as Rhys ushered everyone out. 

Y/N took a deep breath once she was away from the commotion. Her mind was reeling between the conversation she had had with Rhys to the state that her family was in. Alive. That thread hummed from deep within herself. She almost felt as if it was calling to her. Tugging her. Her head turned slowly, spying the tent from which that feeling was coming from. Y/N’s feet were moving before her brain. 

The tent was thankfully silent except for the soft crackle of faelights illuminating the space. Azriel’s large form was sprawled across the cot on his stomach. The glimmer of salve and magic lingering on his shredded wings. Y/N’s voice got stuck in her throat. His beautiful wings. 

His head lifted as she entered, a soft smile gracing his lips. “I’ve had worse. You’ve seen me have worse,” he said, trying to comfort her. She still could not speak. “Come here,” he urged, trying to sit up. His muffled groan of pain set Y/N moving. “Don’t–don’t try to move,” she said, shakily sitting on the floor near his head. His eyes softened as he took her in. “You were worried about me,” Az chuckled a bit, reaching his hand up to brush that stray hair out of her face again. His shadows pooled around her, rubbing and twining up across her body in a soothing matter. “Of course I was worried about you,” Y/N hissed.

“Why?” he asked, matter-of-factly. 

Y/N glared at him. “You are my best friend, Azriel! Why wouldn’t I worry about you!” She couldn’t comprehend why he was acting like a snarky bastard right now. “I mean look at you!” Y/N plowed ahead, “Your wings are shredded! You could have died!” She wasn’t really sure what came over her. Maybe from speaking with Rhys, that bond she had spent years shoving down, surfaced again and was not going down without a fight this time. “Imagine if you had!” she exclaimed, “What am I supposed to do if you die?”

Azriel just gave her a small smile before trying to sit up again. “No, no, no. Don’t try to sit up!” Y/N seethed. He started laughing, pushing himself up anyways. That bastard was laughing. “Azriel!” Y/N pleaded, clearly noting the grimace as he fully pushed himself up. Once he was sitting his laugh dimmed. Y/N pushed herself up to her knees so she could at least be near eye level with him. He would always tower over her no matter what. 

“Tell me the real reason you have worked yourself up,” Azriel murmured, taking both of her hands in his. Y/N froze. He couldn’t know. 

“Because you are my best friend,” she whispered, feeling more tears well up in her eyes. “And your mate?” he replied gently. She couldn’t find it in herself to respond or look at him. “Sweetheart, look at me,” he gently placed a finger under her chin and made her head tilt up to look at him. And for once in her life, Y/N saw the love shining so brightly in his eyes. One that mimicked how she would always admire him from afar. If she was being honest, maybe more emotion than he ever let on was swimming through his beautiful face. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Y/N muttered pathetically. The Shadowsinger let out a quiet chuckle. “I think you do,” he said. Y/N just nodded. “How–how long have you known,” she rasped. “Subconsciously…well probably awhile now. Consciously, I felt it snap into place as you were leaving the tent before we left. That’s why I followed you out there,” Azriel stated. Y/N said nothing. “That’s why I asked you to tell me to stay,” he admitted quietly. 

Y/N finally took all of him in. All of his beauty and intensity. So broken yet still somehow put together. She studied his intense gaze on her, those hazel eyes seemingly glowing in the soft light. His tattoos across his very bare torso, and those wings. Oh, those beautiful wings still shimmering with healing magic. 

“How long have you known?” he asked, breaking her out of her stare. “Starfall. Five years ago,” she whispered. Azriel studied her harder, more emotion filling his eyes. “That night. I felt your sadness that night. I think part of me knew then and was scared to admit it,” he confessed after a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me then?” 

“I–I just couldn’t,” her lip trembled before her story finally came tumbling out. 

After she explained, Az slid to his knees on the floor before her, gathering her in his arms, “Oh my sweet girl.” Sobs racked through Y/N as all of the feelings she had bottled up ran rampant through her. Relief, sorrow, love. All of her bleeding heart finally pouring out. 

When she finally calmed down enough to get a word in, she pulled back out of his embrace, “I just didn’t think you would ever see me as more than a friend. With everything you told me about Mor, and then I saw it shift to Elain, I figured you deserved to be happy. Even if it would break me. Your brothers have found two sisters–” Azriel raised a brow at that. Y/N let out a small laugh, “You can’t tell me there isn’t something between Cassian and Nesta.” “Fair enough,” Az joined in with her quiet laughter. 

Y/N sighed and continued, “But I just know you and I didn’t want to ruin anything we had with a mating bond. To me especially. An Illyrian without wings.”

“Y/N,” Azriel said sternly, “Just because you were born without wings doesn’t mean that I will never love you any less than I already have my entire life.” 

“I was an idiot and I was in denial. You have been my entire world since I don’t even know when. I have loved you for so long, but I just didn’t think you would ever see me as more than a friend. I-I thought to myself that you would never love me like that. I have done things, you know what I have done. And I just couldn’t imagine a beautiful soul like yours falling in love with me. A part of me did love Mor. I won’t lie to you and say I didn’t, but I was finally able to admit to myself that I was in love with you. Was finally able to see that my stupid crush on Mor was a way to suppress all of my feelings for you. Every piece of me is consumed by you and belongs to you,” Azriel pressed.

“And Elain?” Y/N could only see that moment when they first returned. When she placed a kiss on his cheek. It made her blood begin to boil. “The thought crossed my mind when we met. It was the only thing that made sense. Three brothers, three sisters. But, I still couldn’t shake what I was trying so hard to hide from myself. And seeing you tonight. Seeing you go through all of this hell has finally given me the courage to be honest with myself and you,” he said. 

Y/N was pretty sure she had gone into shock. This was the most honest the both of them had been to each other in years. He actually loved her. She hadn’t dared to let herself dream of this moment. Especially not in the circumstances they were in with the war and all. 

“Please say something,” Az nearly begged, shaking her out of her stupor. Y/N focused back on his face. There really wasn’t anything she could say except surging forward and pressing her lips gently on his. Az tensed in shock for a moment before processing what was happening. And soon he was fervently kissing her back. 

Her lips molded perfectly against his as he explored every inch of her mouth. They were just as soft as she had dared to let herself imagine. His hands quickly found her waist, roaming up and down savoring the feel of her pressed against him. Over 500 years of knowing each other and they hadn’t once kissed. Even when Cassian put them up to stupid games like spin the bottle. Azriel couldn’t get enough. 

Y/N let out a moan as his tongue found his way into her mouth, shooting a blast of heat through her spine. Az reciprocated the feeling, pulling her closer, leaning back on the edge of the cot. He stiffened, suppressing a groan of his own. But well, mostly of pain. Y/N froze before pulling away. Az tried to chase her with his mouth and whined when she moved out of reach. “Azriel!” she hissed. “I’m fine,” he shrugged, trying to lean in again. “Az,” Y/N said, sticking a hand on his chest. “You are in no condition.” Azriel scoffed, leaning forward and thoroughly attaching his lips to her neck. Y/N shuddered. “Azriel I am not having sex with you when you can’t even lay on your back,” Y/N huffed. He was leaving a sloppy trail of kisses up and down. 

“Don’t need to lay on my back,” he mumbled. “You can hardly sit up,” she responded. “Don’t care. You’re my mate. My newly found mate,” he said into her neck. “Been dreaming of this for a while now,” he sighed dreamily, sucking on the one spot that made Y/N melt. She could feel the bastard grin before he continued his assault. 

It took a lot to shove him off of her. An extreme amount. All sentimental feelings from their confession were out the window and replaced by need. Pure, lustful need. But he was in pain. And he was her mate, so she pushed him off her. He let out the most un-spymaster like whine. “Y/N why are you doing this to me love?” he groaned. “Because you are injured and like I said, I’m not fucking you until you are at one-hundred percent,” she quipped, standing with more clarity than she had in years. She went over to the little table littered with food. 

“And so I can give you this,” she turned, holding a little apple in her hand. Az’s face softened as she approached. A silent request as she held out her hand. “Are you sure?” he whispered. “Azriel, every piece of me has always belonged to you and it always will. I have never been more sure in my life,” she replied. 

He smiled, grabbing the apple gently from her hands taking a slow bite. Y/N smiled in return before ushering him back down on his cot. “Time to rest, Az,” she said, nestling in next to him. “But I’m perfectly fine for other activities now,” Azriel pouted. Y/N just laughed, running her hands through his soft locks. “I promise when you are fully healed we will partake in those said activities,” she smirked. Azriel grinned and pushed himself upwards, stealing another kiss. Y/N giggled, before placing his head back in her lap. “Sleep now,” she mumbled. Azriel hummed softly as she resumed running her hands through his hair. “I love you,” he whispered before his steady breath evened out. “I love you too.”

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙MY girl | LN4˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x celeb interviewer!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, established relationship

warnings: a couple of innuendos/sexual references but mainly fluff

summary: in which your job has your boyfriend acting up every other week

a/n: this is kind of short but didnt think it was necessary to make it any longer!?! hope u luv it (i love jealous lando omg my heart cant take itttt)

request!!!: Lando’s gf is a celebrity interviewer like Amelia from chicken shop date and Lando is supportive but also playfully jealous?

fc: amelia dimdoldenburg

my masterlist

instagram ->

yourusername 📍 london

liked by aitch, landonorris, and 1,718,293 others

yourusername spent a day in london with my fav british rapper @.aitch !! episode out now hope u enjoy 👀

tagged: aitch

view all 18,284 comments

user1 OMG he was flirting with her so bad

user2 no fr she got a man

user3 yea and her man is LANDO NORRIS likeeee

user4 why are they lowkey cute together.....

user5 i love everything y/n does

user6 does anyone else only watch the series just for y/n idec about the celebrity guests 💀

user7 no coz this is actually so valid

user8 omg i've been waiting for this one

user9 queue lando marking his territory soon

user10 can u blame him

f1wags

liked by user4, user5, user9, and 43,761 others

f1wags new episode of y/n y/l/n's celeb interview series with british rapper aitch out now 🫶 for anyone who doesn't know, y/n (wag of lando norris) is a celebrity interviewer for events & tv as well as having her own series online in which she “dates” someone for the day, usually in a random city of their choice, and interviews them at the same time in a comedic way !!! the series is super popular, who would you like to see her interview?

view all 5,174 comments

user11 we love her

user12 her interviews r sooo funny and unserious

user13 i want her to interview f1 drivers 😭

user14 omg rightttt imagine lando on there

user15 i want oscar or charles 😂

user16 i didnt even know she was a wag

user17 she's more relevant that her bf HE's the wag

user18 justice for my guy lando

aitch

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 853,903 others

aitch watch me on y/n y/l/n's series for real like that's my girl

tagged: yourusername

view all 12,284 comments

user19 damn

user20 his girl?!

user21 y/n looks so hot

user22 look like a couple fr

yourusername had the best time, thanks for coming on the show!!!

aitch anything 4 u

user23 🤭🤭🤭

user24 CUTIESSS

user25 one of my fav episodes so far

twitter ->

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 822,182 others

user30 omg i screamed

user31 SHE'S SOOO HOTTTT

carlossainz55 somebody's jealous

landonorris of what?

carlossainz55 😂

user32 lando norris you are one lucky man

yourusername omg hello mr protective

landonorris my girl

yourusername you are freaking sexy

landonorris where are you right now

yourusername 👀

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,021,843 others

landonorris hey

view all 33,826 comments

user33 "HEY"????

user34 omg

user35 HOTTTTTT

carlossainz55 still not jealous?

landonorris not sure what you're talking about!

user36 you caused this @.aitch

aitch nah

landonorris no

yourusername 🙂

user37 posting this with this caption is criminal

user38 hahaha our jealous boy

user39 little lando norris is jealoussss

yourusername hahah i love you and only you

yourusername posted a story

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 713,028 others

landonorris yup. that's MY girl

THE END 🧡

[moonlight-alexia]

enchanted to meet you: leah's birthday ˏˋ°•*⁀ leah williamson x mccabe!reader, social media

any and all feedback, comments, reblogs etc are very appreciated and welcome <3

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

y/nmccabe just added to their story

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leahwilliamsonn just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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leahwilliamsonn just added to their story

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liked by katie_mccabe11, stephcatley and 127,980 others y/nmccabe another year older but not wiser or however the saying goes 😊 love ya bestie ❤️ tagged: leahwilliamsonn

leahwilliamsonn i actually highly dislike you ↳ y/nmccabe i love you too 😚 ↳ leahwilliamsonn you're annoying ↳ y/nmccabe no one else i'd rather annoy

stephcatley baby calvy and auntie leah 🥳 ↳ leahwilliamsonn auntie duties since day one, the only reason i'll be over later ❤️

liawaelti very monotone ↳ y/nmccabe just like leah's food choices ↳ liawaelti le's going to block you again ↳ y/nmccabe and like last time it won't last long, she can't get enough of me

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leahwilliamsonn just added to their story

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y/nmccabe just added to their story

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liked by y/nmccabe, stephcatley and 147,380 others leahwilliamsonn my best friends are cooler than yours 😎 another year well spent ❤️ tagged: y/nmccabe | liawaelti

y/nmccabe publicly admitting, very bold of you leah 🙂‍↕️ ↳ leahwilliamsonn watch it or i'll take it back ↳ y/nmccabe it's already out there no take backs ↳ bethmead_ even though mac's married queue the dating rumours starting again ↳ y/nmccabe leah wishes

liawaelti no escaping us now le ↳ y/nmccabe joined together no matter where we are ↳ leahwilliamsonn couldn't have asked for better people to be forever joined to

[rougetv]

Second Chance

exbf!ChrisMD x fem!reader

SUMMARY: You completely wrote Chris off after an incredibly bad date a few years ago, until you meet agin…

WARNINGS: swearing, alcohol?, not proofread!

(request from @insomniac4000)

_________________________

Her long fingernails drummed against the table, resting her chin in her hand as she stares blankly at her date.

She knew Chris had only broken up with Shannon recently, but he’d assured her nonstop that he was over her.

And now here she was, slugging back her hundredth glass of wine of the night in a desperate attempt to tune out the sound of Chris waffling on about every little  horrible detail of his ex-girlfriend.

_________________________

She was oddly thankful as the rush of cold London air hit her skin, a happy reminder that this nightmare of a date was over.

A soft, relieved sigh leaves her lips as she turns to face Chris, mustering up a polite smile, despite the horrendous night.

“So, uh… see you around, Chris”

His smile falters slightly at her choice of words. No ‘I’ll call you’. No ‘this was nice’. No ‘we should do this again’. But he knew he’d spent the entire date talking about Shannon, understanding this most likely was not a great night for her and he’s probably not ready to be dating right now.

“Yeah, yeah. See you around, Y/n”

The only goodbye he got was a polite smile and a simple nod, before shes turning on her heels and walking in the other direction, her heels clicking against the concrete pavement as she left, hoping to never have to see him again.

_________________________

A lingering smile stays on her lips as she walks away from her group of friends, still recoiling from the hilarious story her best friend had recounted from their college days.

Her eyes land on a free – and honestly, a quite attractive – bartender, quickly making her way over, not too keen on the idea of waiting in a queue, when a strong shoulder rams straight into her own, knocking her back a few steps before there’s a gentle hand on the small of her back, keeping her upright.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry… Y/n?”

She huffs slightly as she straightens back up, coming face-to-face with none other than ChrisMD,  which was the cause of hands down the worst date of her life.

She musters up a polite smile, not particularly because she was happy to see him but because she couldn’t be arsed to deal with any tension on her one night off.

“Hey, Chris. Don’t worry, it’s okay. Honest mistake”

A simple nod is the only goodbye she gives him before she’s pulling away from his large hand on her back and walking back to the bartender, rolling her eyes exasperatedly when she sees that, thanks to Chris’s shove, a queue has formed. She feels a hand wrap around her wrist, gentle yet persistent.

“Hey! Wait, wait, wait.”

Her hand pulls out of his soft grip, her fingers instead moving to move a strand of hair away from her face that had fallen out of the messy, yet somehow still neat, bun on top of her head as she raises an eyebrow at him expectantly.

Chris’s adams apple shifts slightly as he swallows nervously, not entire sure what he wanted to say, because honestly, he just wanted to speak to her again. He raises his hand, gesturing to her as a whole, a friendly smile on his face.

“You- you look great.”

She nods again, a forced polite smile on her face. “Yeah, you too”

To be fair, she wasn’t lying. He did look good. His hair was slightly darker and curly, rather than that straight hair he used to have, that looked like he’d used way too much gel. He’d grown a layer of neat, slightly grown-out, stubble, which she couldn’t deny looked so goddamn good on him, and he’d definitely been working out…

“So, how’ve you been?”

________________________

She wasn’t even quite sure how she ended up in this situation – sat next to Chris in a booth in the secluded corner of the bar, easy conversation, drinks flowing, and his hand resting comfortably on her thigh, the two of them gradually inching closer together as the night goes on.

That was until the chess-obsessed Arthur appeared at their table, offering a kind smile to Y/n before his eyes land solely on Chris.

“Taxi’s here”

Her smile falters slightly at the thought of Chris leaving. She was honestly having a great time, a stark contrast to their last date, but she lets him go, immediately missing the warmth of his hand, her thigh now feeling painfully cold.

Y/n sighs softly as she watches his retreating form, before he suddenly turns back around, taking a deep breath.

“I just- um- I… would you wanna go on another date? A proper date. No Shannon talk, I promise.”

A huge smile plasters itself across her painted lips, her entire body feeling like it’s buzzing with excitement at the sheer thought of a second date, something she never thought she’d want from him.

“Yeah. I’d love that”

_________________________

Hope you guys like this! x

Request: Can I do a chrismd request? Maybe they go on a date not long after he's broken up with Shannon but it's obvious he's not over her as he talks about her a lot. They reconnect 6 months later maybe maybe they meet at a bar and he has the beard now and she's like oh wow and he's obviously ready to date again so they try again?

[artificial-transmutations]

4k! Dropout Dorm 1

Hey guys! And there is even more big news today!

It seems like yesterday I celebrated 3k followers, and now, all of a sudden, I have just reached 4k! Honestly, I'm at a loss for words. I'm really happy (and a bit bewildered) that so many of you want to read my stories!

As a celebration, I will receive one previously exclusive four-part story from my once membership site (now a tip jar) here on tumblr, with new pictures! The writing is more than a year old, but I decided not to adjust it to preserve the original charm, so please don't mind the rough edges here and there. And now, enjoy

Dropout Dorm

The line in front of Marvin was long and Marvin was unhappy with himself. He should have come earlier! Who could have known that it was customary to be that early for dorm room assignment? Well, that was an easy question. Obviously, every student in front of him. 

He wasn't technically the last one to arrive, since there was one other guy that came even later, but the two of them marked the end of the queue. The student behind him, a brown haired young man with a narrow face, studied him carefully, before extending a hand.

"Hi!", he said. "I'm Aiden."

"Marvin", answered Marvin. He wasn't the outgoing type.

"Pleased to meet you, Marvin!", Aiden smiled. "So, we'll be rooming together, I suppose."

"We are?" How did Aiden know?

"I'm pretty sure we are." Aiden nodded. "College rules dictate that rooming is determined by order of appearance on the registration day. Since there are 84 people in the line in front of you, and always two are called into the office at a time, it is only logical that we will be roommates."

That made sense. Marvin didn't bother to count the line yet, but he wasn't entirely unhappy. The person directly in front of him looked like the typical meathead jock type, while the thin man behind him proved that he was capable of logic reasoning.

So, Marvin smiled. "Great. I'm looking forward to it, you seem like a good roommate! I'm majoring in computer sciences, what about you?"

Aiden grinned. "Mathematics. Sorry, that's hard to hide for me."

The grin was genuine, and Marvin and Aiden used the waiting time to get to know each other better. To Marvin's delight, Aiden was quite nerdy himself and wasn't keen on partying or taking girls home - which qualified him as a good rooming choice even more. 

Finally, they were called into the secretary’s office, where a woman with large glasses looked at them.

"You are the last ones?"

Marvin nodded and the woman sighed.

"Good. Well, here is the bad news: You too should look for a room elsewhere, outside the campus."

Marvin was confused. Why was that?

Aiden verbalized his question: "Why? Aren't there any rooms left?"

The woman sighed again. "Technically, there is one room left, and you can have it, but... room 148 has a bit of a bad reputation."

"How can a room have a bad reputation?" Aiden asked quizzically.

"Look, the room is called the 'dropout dorm'. For whatever reason, no student that ever took that room graduated. Most dropped out in the same or the following semester.

Aiden looked at Marvin, who, in turn looked at Aiden. How to put it delicately, Marvin asked himself, but Aiden was quicker again, just being honest:

"So, it's just superstition?"

The woman shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe. Maybe not. I can only tell you what happened to students in the years before."

"Did you always offer this room last?" Marvin asked and the woman nodded. He exchanged another look with Aiden and then smiled. "Thank you for your concerns, but I think we'll take the risk."

After the formalities were over, they got their keys and went up to their new room. It was located on the second floor, and when Aiden opened the door, he saw a big window facing the lake and the sun shining brightly through it.

"So, why do you think this is the 'dropout dorm'?" Aiden asked.

Marvin smiled. "Because it is the 'dropout dorm'. You see, there had probably been one or two dropouts in this room. Then, someone decided that the room was bad luck or something like that, and they started to offer it to the last students. Now, usually, the last ones in line are those students who care about their studies the least."

"Except in this year" Aiden added.

"Exactly. So, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. They gave the 'dropout dorm' to the students with the worst starting conditions, and they dropped out, fueling the myth of the 'dropout dorm'."

"Flawless reasoning", Aiden congratulated. "Now, do you have a preference on which side of the room you want?"

Both young men settled in quickly and moved their stuff to their dorm room over the course of the day. It wasn't a bad room at all: It had a small bathroom with a shower, and a nice view from the window. Most importantly, though, it had two nice, big desks, which were quickly filled with books on Aiden's side of the room, and a powerful PC on Marvin's side. The day passed quickly, and it became time for bed. 

Aiden was slightly amused, as Marvin went into the bathroom to get changed and emerged in pajamas. He certainly didn't judge Marvin for being an introvert, but Aiden had given up pajamas a few years ago and slept in boxers since then. Still, that was nothing of his business.

Both their dreams were restless and although Aiden couldn't remember what exactly he had dreamed off, when he woke up the next morning to the sound of the shower running, he found himself with a bad case of morning wood. It was rare for Aiden to be aroused, but right now, he felt outright horny. His dick throbbed against his boxers and the outline was clearly visible since he had untangled himself from his blanked in his sleep. He just hoped that Marvin hadn't noticed.

When Aiden accidentally brushed against his erection, that was already forming a wet patch in his boxers from precum, he would have almost moaned out load. Damn, was this thing sensitive today. He looked at the bathroom. Marvin had left the door open, probably by accident. He could see the naked body of the other man moving under the stream of water and quickly drew back his head.

It looked like Marvin would still be busy for a while, so this was his chance! Aiden quickly disposed of his boxers and wrapped his right hand around his member, careful not to make noise. It was really difficult since he wanted to moan loudly so bad, but he could control himself. 

He quickly moved his hand up and down, rolling back his eyes. This felt just so good! Wave after wave of pleasure rocked through him and he was already close when he heard the water stop. It took an awful lot of willpower to pry his hand from his prick for a moment, to peek at the bathroom door. Marvin was drying up. If he hurried up, he still had time to finish. His hand went back to his erection, and he pumped on. He threw his head back as he came - in complete silence, but with wide spurts all over his chest.

Aiden had no time to recover though, as only a split second later, Marvin stepped out of the bathroom. Lightning-fast, Aiden covered himself with the blanket, soiling it with his cum in the process. Marvin hadn't seen anything, right?

"Good morning!" Marvin said, the towel around his hips, but stopped in the middle of the room. "Does it smell weird here?"

Stay tuned for the rest of the short series, following Marvin and Aiden on their inevitable journey, posted soon.

Read the next part here

[soupcafe]

I have written and rewritten this post so many times after taking time to really gather my thoughts and sit with everything that has transpired in the last two weeks. If I'm being honest.. what has transpired the last three years of running the FindRPs server. Under the cut if you want to read. Warning: it's really fucking long. Sorry about it.

God I don't even know where to start, okay.

I have always tried to do my best to remain neutral in most situations and show a face of calm collection when it came to matters in the server. As a leader there, I believed that being anything other than that would only show instability of myself and on the rest of the staff. I always tried to make it known that I was willing to hear people out, and ready to enact changes if it felt like the right thing to do for the collective.

I don't know if that was the right choice to make, but it certainly felt like it for me, so that's how I ran things.. that's how I encouraged the rest of staff to run things. I've already said this to the former staff, but I have nothing but the highest respect for the hard work they put into that server. All of us were running that place for free, but it felt like a full time job with the way people treated us both on the server and here on tumblr.

Our goal was to provide a space for various platforms to advertise their rp groups, post 1x1s, post their resources, ask for help from their community, and more. FindRPs all started because tumblr tags became notoriously unreliable, group rps weren't able to mass fill their queues, sideblogs were being shadowbanned and deleted left and right. Why not streamline it into one easy hub? Why not make a place for a community? I've seen it said a few times now that we should have learned our lesson and not had any general chat or allow conversation at all. How fucking sad is that? In a hobby where the whole purpose is writing a story together... collaborating.... and you all can't even handle or have the civility to have a general chat.

I don't claim to have made all the right decisions, or to have said the right thing in a moments time. But things could so very quickly go from zero to one hundred there. Within minutes people would be at each other's throats and god forbid anyone on staff have a real life and not take care of it within seconds. I can't count how many times I was at work, or a family function, or a doctors office, and I get the ping that something happened but I can't deal with it right then and there. The anxiety of knowing that it will be talked about in the tags, and that if I or another staff member isn't online to take care of it right that second, we will get shit for letting it happen.

Isn't that insane? That I couldn't go about my daily life and do normal things without thinking about you all having no decorum and going after one another like children?

I was getting anxiety from not looking at the server for more than an hour or two. I don't know how in the world I thought I was going to be able to handle having a newborn and focusing on something that is going to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life, knowing that all of this would be in the back of my mind. It wouldn't be fair to my kid... to my family. And yeah... maybe that's me taking it too seriously. But when you dedicate three years of your life to this, and have been in this community on tumblr for as long as I have.. you fear the loss of it.

Don't even get me started on the lack of communication. Any blog that decided to let anons and rumors come into play and pass judgement on us with lies or half the story over the course of the server's activity... you all are complicit. No one ever came to us with their opinions and issues — the first thing that was on anyone's mind was which rpt blog can I go to. So instead of handling things like adults, you all hid behind anon and let someone else post it for you.

Because why attempt to make an actual change by speaking to us when you can just judge and bully us instead? No one ever said maybe they need some help and I should offer to join the team. But why would you... when you could see how we were being treated. When you were the one treating us that way.

Anytime something happened in that server, my inbox would fill with anon messages of death threats or otherwise inflammatory and cruel statements against me. I always deleted them and gave them no merit because what is some fucking anon going to do to me in my real life? Nothing.

This time though.. I was simply done with it. I was looking at the server, at my own happiness, at my own life and where I was being led, and decided that it simply wasn't worth it to subject myself and the rest of the staff to it any longer. All of us were preparing major life changes and were having conversations about possibly stepping down and handing the server off. I'm sorry that a few people decided to ruin it for the rest of you who never did anything wrong. I would have loved to hand over the reins to someone else and let FindRPs live on as the needed resource it was, but you all can make your own servers as you've said many times that you want to do. You can spend three years growing it to nearly 3k members of all rp backgrounds and life backgrounds and you can make your rules exactly how you want them and to deal with things exactly how you want to deal with them... I sincerely hope it thrives for you.

I'm going to call out a few specific blogs from this situation because you are directly complicit in the spreading of this. JJ (galitzined), Nan (nanschman), Xan (jimiin), Jas (snoopdoggs), Veda (nosyrpt), and fluoresceins. All of you decided that it was okay to bully. Several of you decided to say that I was subjecting Hermie, a Palestinian mod, to coexisting with zionists knowingly.. when it has always been the case that if they made themselves known we would ban them and Hermie would be the one to do it. We realized too late that we missed one glaringly obvious one and Hermie got the satisfaction of banning them before FindRPs was deleted for good.

All of us in our real lives are putting in the work to make change, you know, where it matters the most. Personally for myself, I involve myself in local and state politics and actively ensure that I am voting for representatives that align with Palestine or at the very least is not interested in supporting Israel. I donate to fundraisers when I am able. Not that I ever owed any of you a list of what I am doing... but I have always stood with Palestine. I fucking hate JKR, and was a moderator who voted to ban it in the initial rule change. (Love that some of you are trying to say I've been extremely active in the HP RPC and have proof because.... bitch where?) But you know... you all will spin anything to fit your narrative.

I said it many times that everyone on staff, every single one of us, was part of a marginalized group one way or another. Half of us were trans, more than half were people of color, I think literally all of us are queer. So you all decided that the best thing to do was to hurt members of your own communities, hurt the people that you claim to stand up for... that's incredibly telling about the kind of people you are.

Mar made a post recently that I think all of you need to read and take to heart. Many of us are so disheartened by the lack of change that we are seeing in the real world that going hard within a small community like the one here is where you can get your satisfaction — because it seems simple in a smaller space where you can watch change happen in real time. Mar put it really well, better than I ever could, so here is a link for you to read it yourself.

We are actively driving people away from this community. Some of them are warranted, but a majority of it is over the most petty bullshit that could be solved if we weren't so catty and quick to jump to conclusions.

Shadow, I do want to apologize to you. You did not lead to the downfall of this server, it was a long time coming. And I agreed with all of the resources you gave, I agree with wanting to educate someone. What I failed to communicate effectively, and I do take responsibility for this, is that you didn't need to do it publicly. You could have DM'd Lumos and taken care of it outside of the server, which is really all we were trying to say in that statement we made: why in the world are we having these conversations in the general chat of a rp advertisement server when you can just... talk to the person directly. Or I don't know... use the block button. All of you need to learn how to use that more. And you did already apologize for necro-ing it... but I believe you knew what you were doing there. Even on a laptop you had to scroll up to see the interaction with Lumos and there was no way you missed the timestamps. It was not the first time you decided to use a public space in the server to be mean to someone, so, I don't believe that you didn't know what you were doing there. Regardless of being correct in the information you were spreading, you were an asshole. We gave you a warning that the behavior wouldn't be tolerated and yet you continued to harass Lumos so consequences of your actions were to be banned. Not because of what you said or how you went about it, but because you didn't know when to stop.

I don't think Lumos has tumblr to see all of this, and I literally deleted everything from the server — I have no logs of anything that happened anymore. But we did rail into them. We told them that what they were saying was fucked up and they should read into the resources. All of us were talking about banning them anyways, but we wanted to take the time to think things through, to step away and sit with it and decide. Once again, God Forbid we handle things like adults and have real lives and think before acting, especially with all of you shouting into the tags about how we were handling it. They were getting death threats, both in their dms and out in the open in the general chat. Like what the fuck. Who in their right mind thinks that's an okay thing to do?

Anyway, we tended to handle things there privately. We preferred it that way because no one needs their dirty laundry aired out in front of 3k people, and have them weigh in on it while we're trying to handle things. Just because you didn't see anything happening on your end, doesn't mean things weren't happening behind the scenes. And screenshots are always a thing; we have never feared someone taking them for their records. I sent the screenshots to JJ because Shadow left out an entire part of the conversation. I didn't send it to "make ourselves look better" as Nan so lovingly put it. I did it for transparency.

Maybe we could have been more transparent over certain things, I don't know. But also.. some situations are simply none of anyone's business.

Anyway. It's gone now. I mourn the loss of something that I truly put my heart, soul, and tears into. I helped to provide a resource for the community who does not deserve it for free for three years of my life. I met some of the most amazing writers in there that I never would have crossed paths with if not for the server.

It's time to move on from the greater rpc for me though. I don't know if I am going to continue to be on this blog. I really don't have a desire to at this time. I do know I will be writing with my rp group and continue keeping in touch with others on discord. That's really why I'm not afraid to post all of this and let you all pick it apart. I simply don't care anymore. I'm a week away from my due date, and ready to take the step into motherhood. I'm so excited for it. My blood pressure certainly thanks me.

I urge you all to take a good hard look at how you interact with this community. I want you all to take a look at the complaints that are made all the time and have been for years now — of groups not surviving, of no one writing, of people feeling hopeless, or judged. You actively create this space. You truly want to be the change? Do better for the rpc then. Be kind, and if you can't do that, block and move on. The people you don't like and you don't agree with are going to be around for as long as they want to be anyway.

Best, Maeve.

[ygodmyy20]

I've had so many terumob thoughts lately. I have had this story in my head for over a year and part of me wants to sit down and blast it out and the other is just not quite sure how to start it yet.

But i have been noodling on the not great Terumob moments. The arguments, the struggles, the "Teru still slips into worship phases" that causes tension and discomfort.

The moving in together moments that are no so pretty.

Teru who has lived alone for most of his formative years is suddenly living again with another person.

Shigeo who still struggles to be his whole self (because he will always have ups and downs) who doesn't always read the room and misunderstands queues from Teru. No fault of his own. But Teru gets frustrated and annoyed. Because that's just how humans are. We get upset at the ones we love sometimes over things that we love them for.

Of Shigeo leaving the dishes uncleaned because he just didn't notice.

Of Teru staying out late and not telling Shigeo because he never had to tell someone where he was because no one ever cared. And Shigeo feeling hurt.

Of Shigeo getting frustrated over small things and making the whole apartment shake. And Teru loves him for being himself but he also has a massive headache from making poor choices the day before and now is upset.

Of Teru doing everything because he has ALWAYS done everything and not communicating what he wants.

Teru not understanding the unsaid family relationship Shiego has with his parents. The things no one says but they all do that he, in all his observance, can't always figure out.

I'm rambling

But I just love exploring their relationship as adults. I want more of this. I need to write this. One day one day

After I write the like, 10 other things I have in my WIPs

[anemonelovesfiction]

I’ve Neglected you Far Too Long

Ao’nung x Hybrid Fem! Reader

No mentions of Y/n though but its implied. Obviously they’re adults- I quite literally mention Ao’nung has tattoo’s. And obviously theres some smut.

Kind of like an arranged marriage scenario. Any words in English are stricken through. If they’re in italics its just emphasis on that word. Starts off with a bit of background, smut is near the end lol, but its a lot of it.

Word count: 9.2K because I got carried away.

I would say it started with my birth. I was granted the luck of being born Kiri’s twin, with a few minor setbacks, although to Neytiri they were enough to refuse taking me in as her own. I was born with the size and appearance of a human- but I was a halfbreed. My features were human but I was the one born with fangs and I had a kuru as well but it was relative to my size, it was still encased in a big braid and reached past my butt, almost mid thigh, yet still had the natives squinting to see it.

If it wasn’t for Jake pointing out that I had a queue and didn’t need an exomask to breathe, one of the Metkayina warriors would have thrown their spear, killing me. I was captured alongside Spider, when they put me in the machine they’d put Spider in, it awakened some telekinetic abilities I didn’t know I had.

But they’re tied to my emotions and I could only ever really use them if I felt strongly about something. Which is why I was able to help kill most of the humans that had hunted the tulkun, I had enough of their interrogations and abuse.

After losing Neteyam, Ronal and Tonowari welcomed the Sully’s into the Metkayina, and were willing to accommodate for Spider only if I were to marry their son. Their reason being that my telekinetic abilities - which seemed to surpass Kiri’s in their eyes- could protect their clan and son if anything like that happened again.

Ronal disliked that I was half human, she didn’t really want me to marry her son with my outward appearance- like one of the tawtute- sky people- but if I could be used to protect her dear son, thats all that mattered to her, keeping her lineage going.

“We could unite the reef clans and forest people.”

Were Neytiri’s words after Ronal had brought up her reasoning. Tonowari had stayed silent with his hands on his knee’s. It was Ronal’s idea for them to kneel so I wouldn’t feel intimidated by their height, but I’m shorter than most humans, so they were still a good head taller than me, maybe two.

“Of course this is your choice, kid.” Jake stated carefully, his hand movements mimicking that of a calm ultimatum, and this was anything but.

I nodded once, then walked out of the tent and sat by the beach. I couldn’t think of anyone other than Spider. If he were to go back to the Omaticaya, he’s be lonely. His entire life revolved around the Sully’s and I couldn’t risk him being kicked out, and I refused to spend any more time away from my sister.

I’d gotten an earful from Neytiri that day about being disrespectful to the clan leaders for leaving the way I did. I had no idea how to respond and she despised me- had I looked like Kiri I’m sure the story would be different, but I’m not like her, my genetics decided to mute the blue and because of that, I’d forever be treated as a human by Neytiri- even if I could breathe the same air as her, even if I can make tsaheylu.

And it has lead me to being bathed in scents that Ao’nung found pleasing. Neytiri and Jake were allowed to voice their opinion on the matter and Jake had mentioned that this smelled of raspberries back on earth.

As tradition, the mother of the groom and any female sibling, or honorary females washed the bride in the scents and got her ready for her soon-to-be husband. And all of the males near and dear to my heart would do the same to the groom. In this case I had told them not to do anything to change his appearance and to leave him as is. Even if he’d made up with Lo’ak, I could never forget the face he made after finding out he was betrothed to me. The shock in his face said it all, he didn’t want me, and I didn’t want him either but at least I was cordial about it.

I had no idea how big of a celebration this would be. Everyone from the clan walked up and wished blessings upon us, a fruitful- and fertile- marriage. I’m glad I stuck around with Spider and learned Na’Vi while we were kids as a lot of the well wishes were very long and I’d kick myself in the face if I had to childishly reply with broken Na’Vi.

Nothing happened that night.

Don’t get me wrong I’m excited and happy we didn’t do what I was told married couples do by Neytiri. She went into greater detail than Norm did about mating as a Na’Vi and how the tsaheylu was a crucial part of becoming connected to ones mate. Most nights I was ignored and we’d go to sleep on separate mats. I’d need to start Tsahik training but I’d need to learn the things Tsireya had learned when she was younger and work my way up in rank. Because of this, Lo’ak was in the lead of becoming Olo’eyktan considering he’s earned their trust and Tsireya knew more about healing.

_________

“The tattoo’s have different meanings and what one curve could mean for someone, it could be translated differently in another clan members markings.” Tsireya mentions while showing me two nearly identical tattoo’s.

“These are almost identical.” I stated blankly and giggled, placing her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter.

“Yes but you noticed the difference between the two, you said almost. Explain what you see.” She asks.

“This one has what appears to be a smoother execution. This one seems bold, like you used a darker ink? It has jagged edges too.”

“The first one was for a warrior who had just had his inknimaya. Everything went well for him and the skimwing he had bonded with. For the second, not so much, he experienced much pain and eventually managed to execute it perfectly.”

“The second tattoo is slightly bigger, could this indicate multiple tries to his inknimaya?”

“You are a quick learner.” Tsireya smiles at me and I smile back. It wasn’t hard to be genuine around her and she made it hard to hate her. She’s seen me naked more times than my own husband, and she’d only seen me before I got married to him.

By the end of the lesson she struggles to get on her feet from kneeling in front of me and I feel terrible.

“You don’t always have to kneel for us to be the same height, Tsireya. If you wanted to stand I wouldn’t mind.” This isn’t the first time I tell her.

“I need to be flexible.” She states happily.

“For who, Lo’ak?” I ask and start laughing at her embarrassed face.

“I’m sorry, Rey, but these jokes just come naturally to me, I can’t stop them when my tongue is faster than my mind.” I giggle as she huffs and turns her head.

“I’ll make the same jokes when you are with child.”

“No you won’t.” Partly because I’ve yet to consummate my marriage. “I don’t even know if we could have kids considering I’m a half-breed that looks human.” I stated aloud.

“Toruk Macto is a half breed.” She states as if it were obvious.

“Yes, but he has the appearance of a native. It’s easier for him to blend in. Lo’ak is also a half breed and he too can hide with the rest of the Na’Vi. I’m-“ I stop myself before saying anything too harsh, or she’d scold me. “-different.”

“The kind of different my brother needs in his life. Keep trying for children and I will pray that the great mother blesses you!” She says over enthused.

“Sure.” I stated simply, smiling at her. We said our goodbyes and I headed off toward his marui pod.

_________

“Where have you been?”

“With your sister. Learning.” I stated, I’ve grown to know Ao’nung likes short answers and to never bother him when he was entranced with something- whether it was learning a new trick on a skimwing or sparring. I placed my medical bag down- Kiri made this one for me as a present and I never went anywhere without it.

I can feel his eyes on me while I search in a big box for some herbs to refill my bag. The bag hangs over my chest and does a good job of hiding my stomach- not that its big, I hide it from the sun since I’m often exposed. I’d learned to wear traditional clothes and the loincloths were made in children's size due to my stature. The top was something Kiri had to teach me to make- it resembles a human sports bra but matching my loincloth.

My loincloth was traditional in every sense except it didn’t have a hole for a tail, but it still adjusted and tied off on the side, just like everyone else's.

“Are you hurt?” I ask him once I refill my bag and look up to face him. I’d known of his tattoo’d arms but the one on his face was new. It made his eyes pop and he looked handsome- but that didn’t matter.

“What?” He asks as of he hadn’t heard me before.

“Are you hurt. Do you need something from me?” I asked him and he understands what I mean.

“No.” He answers and turns his face toward the side to look at the floor of his- our, because it technically is ours- marui.

“Then I will head out and assist.” I answered not really caring to give him a chance to respond- let alone process- what I said. But he was faster than I was and his hand reached around my bicep and that stopped me.

He was never one to touch me. Not when it came to helping me learn the way of his village, not now, and not even on our wedding night. I press my teeth on my tongue to prevent myself from saying something smart and I turn to face him. I refuse to talk as I’d always found some way to offend him with whatever I said so I waited for him to speak.

“Do you resent me?” He asks simply and this question is a slap to my face. My face only forms in confusion as my eyebrows knit together and my eyes squint slightly.

“I don’t-“ I began but stopped myself from speaking as he lets go of my bicep. I look over at his hand and back at him feeling more confusion than ever.

“I see.” He answers plainly and I furrow my brows some more before raising one and looking at him.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You don’t have to.” He answers simply and I feel like I’d immediately done something wrong again. “Your face said everything your words could not.”

“But-“

“You should go out and assist my sister. Let her know I held you back if she asks why you are late.” He states before walking past me and heading out the opening of the marui with his spear.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding once the curtain fell shut again. Of course I resented him, he was rude, underestimated me in everything, and never made an effort to get to know me. But I hadn’t said any of that to his face and I was in control of my emotions and knew I didn’t make a face of disgust- but why did he ask the question in the first place?

_________

“Did you talk to her?” Spider asks as soon as Ao’nung joins the hunting party. Due to his inability to bond with the animals he often rode with Lo’ak.

“Yes.” Ao’nung answered.

“Is she coming to the party tonight?” Lo’ak asks after lightly nudging between Spider’s hips to quiet the grown man in front of him, he sure was nosey today.

“I did not ask.” Ao’nung answers and Spider grumbles.

“The whole point was to-“ Spider stops himself when Lo’ak’s Ilu immediately surges forward. And the hunt began.

_________

“Theres a lot of people gathering for something outside. Was there something planned for today? Did I have to do something?” I asked nervously once Ao’nung had come into the marui. He must have showered at some point because he didn’t smell like sea air like he usually does after a hunting trip.

“The celebration of our union.” Is all he says while placing his spear on the wall along with his others.

“But we-“

“It’s what you call an Annie-server.” He states in his best english and given the severity of my nerves I couldn’t find the way he fudged up the words funny at this time.

“It hasn’t been a year yet-“ I stop myself as he walks over to pick the accessories he never touches, taking the ones he has on and replacing them with those.

“Has it?” I ask myself quietly.

“It has.” He answers and stops in front of me. One hand on my shoulder but its immediately removed when I look at it.

“Please put these on.” He hands me a matching pair, the one from our wedding- union as they call it. It’s supposed to show that we are harmonious. I try to tie the bands on my anklet together but my fingers keep fumbling and I let out a frustrated sigh.

“Let me help you.” He sits in front of me and offers his hand to take my leg.

“No-“ He takes my leg after letting out a small hiss of his own and sets it on top of his thigh where he leans over and carefully ties the bands together. His hands on my ankle sends a shiver up my spine.

“It’s only done the first year. They will ask invasive questions. I’m glad my sister convinced you to use the soap. Come.” He stands quickly and heads over to the entrance of the marui.

He holds the flap of the curtain open for me to walk through. I was going to comment on why his hair was undone but was met with a bunch of cheers and a celebratory song. I’m awestruck as the clan starts parting and a walkway is created for me. I follow them and end up near the front.

“We have come to celebrate the night this union was made one year ago.” Ronal smiles big at the clan as she announces her words.

“It is time to take on the tradition of the couples.” Tonowari joins in and the crowd basically goes wild. I stand with a fake smile plastered on my face.

“Ao’nung. Face your bride.” Tonowari speaks once more and he steps up in front of me before kneeling respectfully taking my hand and kissing it, making a majority of the girls awe at his gesture, but I knew better, it was a show. I let go of his hand quickly and awaited further instruction.

“This is our clans best kept secret. You will braid his hair to your liking as a symbol of life's twists and turns bringing you together. And he is to maintain the hairstyle or one similar for the rest of his life as his devotion to you.” Ronal states.

My eyes widened and I’m fucked. I can braid for sure, all thanks to Tuk, Kiri, and Neteyam consistently asking me to braid their hair often, but I didn’t know about this was a requirement. If Lo’ak and Tsireya were to have wedded before myself and Ao’nung I would have expected this. But they married about four weeks after we did. And Ao’nung doesn’t let anyone touch his hair. My eyes wandered over to find his staring back at me and I looked down releasing quiet but heavy exhale.

“But before we start, you are to drink this.” Ronal hands me a cup thats decently sized, still huge in comparison to me but good enough to grab.

“This is made up of many many plants and fruits from our clan and has been prayed over with many blessings poured into it from the beginning of the process.” Ronal informs me.

“This drink is to be shared between the two of you. You will speak many blessings in it yourself- in a hushed voice, take a drink and you will hand it off to your mate to receive the blessings.” Ronal smiles and hands the cup over to me.

I’m nervous as shit and am worried I might say the wrong thing but am glad it doesn’t have to be shared aloud. And I take a look into the cup and see the deep red liquid inside and sigh.

“Treat me like the mate I ought to be treated and my face won’t show resentment again.” I whispered into it and took a big chug- considering there was a lot of liquid in there.

I walk over toward Ao’nung and hand him the cup I’d just drank from and he drinks the rest. The cheers coming from the crowd make my tummy tingle and I start feeling weird. I should probably ask Tsireya what kinds of things were included in there to see if its compatible with my human half.

“You may begin.” Tonowari gently nods his head once at me and I nod.

“Could-“ I stop myself and Ao’nungs eyes are burning in mine and nervously chuckle, averting my eyes once more.

“Could you please turn so I can reach your head, Yawne?” I blush harshly at that and the positive whispers in the crowd are making me feel uncomfortable, but I always had to put on a show for them. Ao’nung nods once and does as I ask and I put myself to work.

His tail wraps loosely on my calf and it feels warm. I’m sure this is all for the sake of appearance but it makes it feel like it’s a smidge hard to breathe. I won’t lie, after a long day of chores, or whatever strenuous activity Ao’nung has done his hair looks the best right before he showers. Pieces of it have come out of the braids and are clinging to his face by his sweat- no, stop it.

I’d worked diligently and managed to create the hairstyle he always wears. Except some of the braids on the sides twist to form X’s.

“You barely changed it.” Ao’nung states after feeling around and turning to face me.

“This is how you look best, to me.” I admit.

“Especially when some of these,“ I gently yank out the loose pieces I’d failed to tuck in properly. “Slip out. Like after you finish working.” I find myself gingerly placing my hand on his cheek, I look down at his lips and my eyes slightly widen at my own actions before I remove my hand slowly, making my movements not show how we truly are with one another, and taking a step back.

Several one of the younger girls had held on to the boys courting them and mentioned how they wanted a love like ours and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. If only they knew what our Love really was.

“The last thing for you to do is to decide which one of these your mate has prepared. This will also test to see how well you notice our signature hunting mark.” Tsireya steps back and reveals three fish total that had been cooked. If he managed to hunt with Lo’ak and Spider I’d be more willing to pick out Spiders pathetic excuse of a hunt since he did things the human way. Then I’d have to compare it to Lo’ak’s which might resemble both clans hunting and preparing skills into one and choose the one that least resembled the two. But if they decided to choose at random from other clansmen, I’m screwed.

It suddenly felt like my body temperature had risen and I could feel the slight stickiness that forms on my skin before I start sweating and I feel slightly uncomfortable. I take a look at the three and can tell which one Spider made and fight the urge to giggle. He has talent, but sometimes massacres his huntings, whether he did this on purpose or not I’m thankful to Eywa.

The next two are hard to tell as they’re on similar plates and dished the same. So I focus in depth on the one in the middle and notice it’s one of Lo’ak’s favorite fish to hunt and I want to look at the boy and thank him, but instead look up to Tsireya and smile.

“The one on the left.” I point to it and she smiles back.

“How do you know?” Tsireya asks.

“The cutting pattern is one he chooses often and he knows this is my favorite fish.” I hold a hand on my chest for sentimental value.

The party continued without a hitch and I started feeling hotter by the second before excusing myself while everyone was either drunk, picking at the food table, dancing, or even singing I managed to slide my feet in the water and felt myself cool down significantly.

“Enjoying your anniversary?” Lo’ak asks me as he comes up behind me.

“Sure. Just glad its you and not any nosey person asking me invasive questions. I had an elder ask me if he’s good in bed. I had to lie to someone about my non-existent sex life.”

Lo’ak lets out a laugh and places his arm around me. For being more human appearing than him he always treated me as an equal. I appreciate him for doing that, even if I wasn’t technically adopted alongside Kiri, he always called me his sister.

“What was in that drink?” I asked him and he shrugs.

“I thought you’d know, but I think Tsireya said something about it containing an aphrodisiac?” Lo’ak states and I laugh.

“Come on bro,”

“I’m deadass.”

“Even if it did, nothings coming out of it. He hates my guts.” I sigh and bring my knees to my chest.

“He can’t possibly hate you.”

“Yes he does! Every morning I wake up he’s not there. Every time before bedtime I set out his mat since he comes home after I’ve passed out- and I know this because I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and see him on the opposite side of the room dead asleep.”

“Okay but what about that time you said he cuddled you.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Why not?” He asks.

_________

I lied shivering getting up frequently due to the cold air and having to pee. Ao’nung had come in quite late and I’d woken up for the upteenth time tired as hell and unable to warm myself up.

“Why do you keep getting up. Either stay up or stay asleep.” Ao’nung complains and turns around harshly. I didn’t bother responding as I figured sleep was more important than being petty.

But when I’d finally get comfortable and dozed off, I’d wake up with my teeth chattering and my body shaking, trying to keep warm.

“Aren’t you a half-breed? Why are you still making sounds!” He asks angrily.

“Because I’m still half human! I can withstand colder temperatures than humans can but not by much. Trust me when I tell you I’d much rather be held in captivity and tortured than to be here with you. At least they gave me blankets.” I grumble and get up to go pee once more.

I’d decided to take a long time returning but even when I’d figured he was asleep, as soon as I stepped inside he turned to face me, it looked like he might have been pacing- but I couldn’t be too sure. I’m just glad I went pee before coming back in.

“We do not have blankets right now, but we are often very warm. Maybe if I-“ He gulps. “If I held you, you would not be making noises with your teeth.” He explains.

_________

“Did you take him up on his offer?” Lo’ak asks and I push him.

“I had to. And the next day I asked your mom how the hell I could hand knit a blanket and she made a huge one, thinking it was for us to share. But I didn’t have to bother him on cooler nights again.

“But he did care for you, he came up with a solution.”

“A solution so he could get sleep and my teeth would stop chattering.” I roll my eyes.

“Okay but your favorite fish for today, explain that.” Lo’ak crosses his arms.

“I could easily tell Spider’s mutilation from yours.” I roll my eyes. “And He asked me two days ago what my favorite fish was. I know he hates when I take to long to explain myself- probably because he hates the sound of my voice, so I told him in one simple answer.”

“Did he tell you that?” Lo’ak asks.

_________

“I think I like the tulip thorn because of the way it glows at night. But the stem is also pretty with the way it wraps around and creates a mini shelter. Tuk and I used to take some leaves and tie them down to make a fort and-“

“It was a simple question. I don’t need a story attached to every answer you give me.” He stated harshly.

“Oh,” I state and do a little reflection and cringe at the many times I’d gone off on tangents while talking to him. Or the times when he’d straight up turned and walked out and I’d been left talking to myself for Eywa knows how long.

_________

“You could say that.” I answered back shortly as I didn’t want to bore yet another Na’Vi with my stories.

“Thats all you have to say?” He asks.

“I can tell you just about every negative encounter I had with him and they start from the moment I met him and lead up to this morning. I try to stay out of his way as much as possible. Its all he wants anyway.” I shrug.

“What if he didn’t?” He asks and I look at him wondering what joke he had in mind this time. Tears start to fill my eyes and threaten to fall.

“I don’t think I need a joke about my marriage, Lo’ak.” My voice wavers no matter how strong I wanted to sound.

“Hey, Hey, Hey-“ He’s quick to kneel in front of me and places his hands on my shoulders.

“I wish I could have a love story like you and Reya, or even your parents.”

“I wasn’t making a joke, I swear.”

“I can’t blame you. I’ll never know what its like to be loved.” The tears slide down my cheeks with ease. “I’m stuck with a mate who hates my guts and wishes I was a native with three fingers and three toes instead of this shit-“ I hold out my hands and wiggle my fingers.

_________

“I’m married to you for political appearance. Thats it. And the sooner you can accept that I’d much rather be with my own kind than a four-fingered-freak, the better it will be for you.”

“Don’t think I’m in love with you. You’re an asshole, a jerk, and a bully. Never in my life would I willingly choose someone like you.”

“Then don’t ask me about the status of our marriage anymore. You’re the least attractive thing I could ever lay my eyes on. I won’t ever love you, get that through your thick skull. The sooner the better.”

“You don’t even want to attempt a friendship with me?” I asked taken aback by his outburst.

“With you?” He asks and laughs bitterly. “I want nothing to do with you.” He gets in my face and pushes my chest with two of his fingers to make a point. But I’m not sure how strong he thought I was because he pushes me down. I fall flat on my ass and yelp. Something flashes in his eyes real quick.

“I’m so-“

“Don’t. I receive your message loud and clear.” I swat his hand away and I stand, making sure to walk away as fast as I can.

_________

“That can’t be true,” Lo’ak shakes his head after grabbing my hands with his.

“He might be hard headed but he will come to love you the way I love Tsireya, or how sickeningly my dad loves my mom, or how Spider loves Kiri.”

I hear someone clear their throat from behind myself and I pull my hands from Lo’ak’s and quickly wipe my tears off my face.

“I would like to speak to my mate. Alone.” My shoulders stiffen at his voice and my lower lip trembles.

“It’s okay Lo’ak. Go enjoy the party. I’m sure we’ll head back soon.” I stated as emotionless as possible and he looks between Ao’nung and myself before nodding toward me and walking back. I didn’t look back since I knew him and could hear the clap of his hand on Ao’nungs shoulder. I wish Neteyam were here to witness the amazing man and husband Lo’ak turned out to be for Tsireya.

“May I join you?”

“You requested to speak with me alone.” I stand as I say that.

“Please. Speak.” I state as I try rushing this along. I could feel myself getting warmer, although I’m sure its from the anger I was feeling at him at the moment.

“I-“ He starts speaking and stops. He looks down at the floor and kneels down, the most sincere apology in this clan. “I need to apologize for how I have treated you.”

I can’t help but let out a chuckle at the scenario in front of me and shake my head in disappointment. He furrows the skin where his eyebrows would be if he were human and studies my face.

“What is wrong?” He asks and I feel like a mad woman.

“You expect me to believe you mean that?” I ask him and he looks confused. He makes eye contact.

“You don’t care about me or my feelings, Ao’nung. You only care about your appearance. Tell me that isn’t true.”

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you and how I have acted.” He states again and I feel the air being knocked out of my lungs as I let an audible quick exhale and couldn’t breathe in as he held eye contact.

“I have been nothing but ignorant to your needs and I want that to end. I want to get to know you. I want to learn about you.”

“I don’t know what kind of fun party juices you’ve been drinking but I’m not entertaining this. I’ll go talk to your mom and explain we haven’t bonded and you’ll be out of this union.” I start heading back toward the party.

“Please don’t,” He asks under his breath but I heard it, and stupidly turned around.

“This is what you wanted. I’m helping you. Shouldn’t you be thanking me?” I scoff. “The girl you want is probably going to be over the moon when she hears you’re single and untouched.” I stated.

“I want you.” He states loudly. Still in his kneeling position.

“What?” I asked him and feel like the world has shifted. The party music had disappeared and it felt like we were the only ones on the beach. He stands and starts walking but picks me up and continues walking.

“I said I want you.” He looks directly in my eyes and holds my stare as he says that, then turns his head back to focus on where he’s going.

“Yeah I heard you the first time.” I uttered and I could feel something snap in my body. The warmth I felt earlier was in my lower belly and I felt the small zing of- no.

“Then why ask?”

“Because theres no way you- woah.” I stated as I looked to see his pupils were huge. Barely any blue coming through. And it took me until now to realize he’d walked us toward our marui pod.

“You smell so good.” He shoves his nose in between my neck and my shoulder and takes a whiff, and I squeak in surprise.

“Yeah its that soap I used when we-“

“Not that smell.”

“Fuck.” I muttered as his voice had gotten deeper for some reason. “What are you doing.” I asked as he had still not let me down.

“I’ve neglected you far too long.” He lays me down and I’m surprised to feel something soft underneath me. I could feel whatever effects of that stupid mystery drink turning me on and I laid there breathing heavily looking at his face.

“May I kiss you?” He asks and I’m too stunned to speak. I look down to his lips but quickly look back up toward his eyes.

“Why are you being nice? Is the juice affecting you too?” I asked and take my hand to feel his forehead since I’d been feeling warm too. He closes his eyes and-

“Are you purring?” I asked as he manages to nuzzle my hand and make it look like I’d been caressing his face.

“May I kiss you, yawne.” He asks again and his eyes are bearing into my soul.

“I don’t- I,” I struggle to even think this through as a flame fans through my body. “Yes.”

And his lips are on mine. He takes one of his hands and places it on my cheek and I instinctively place my hand on his arm. He prods his tongue out to stroke my lip and I squeal and nip at it. He chuckles before continuing to kiss me and peppers my face with kisses as he moves his kisses down my neck.

“Mm-“ I moan as he starts sucking my pulse point and failed to realize my legs wrapped around his waist- chest I suppose.

“Sit up.” I demand and he immediately does so.

“Am I hurting-“

“Shut it.” I stated and sit on his lap. I used my telekinesis to place his hands on my hips and forced his neck down and feverishly kiss him again. He’s fighting himself as I feel him tremble slightly and his grip on my waist only slightly tightens and I’m mildly upset.

“Move my hips on you, do something dammit.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” He mutters.

“I’ll tell you if you’ve hurt me by screaming in pain, what I need is friction- yes- holy shit-“ I cut myself off and notice just how big his package feels.

“Did I hurt you?” He stops.

“No, you just feel- huge. Oh my Eywa is it going to fit?” I ramble and he moves me back over his lap and I grunt.

“I pray it does.” He grunts before kissing down my neck once more. His hand trails up to untie my top and I pause.

“May I take this off?” He asks so sweetly and I bite my lip and nod. He pulls the fabric tying it together and it becomes loose, I slip out of it and he goes back to kissing me and I’m disappointed in his silence.

He smiles cockily when he comes up for air and I want to punch his face but he says the sweetest thing before I can form a fist.

“I’m the luckiest man on pandora.” He kisses down my chest and takes one nipple into his mouth, twirling his tongue on my nipple.

“Ao’nung,” I moan as he pinches my other nipple.

“I like when you say my name like that.” He speaks directly to me, fully unashamed, and kisses my mouth.

His fingers trail down toward my ass, he cups my cheeks with his massive hands and kneads them, in the process he’s grinding me on his dick.

“Ao’nung-“ I moan again and try to push myself away from him but he takes my mouth into his and places the tip of his tongue in my mouth playfully stroking my own and I’m wet a hell from that action alone- and partly because of that juice.

“Yes, Yawne?”

“Take it off. Now.” I grunt and stand quickly without realizing his hand had already found the string and as I stood, my loincloth was untied and fell off.

“Yeah, luckiest man on Pandora.” He repeats his statement from earlier and I can’t help but roll my eyes.

“Have you ever-“ I stop myself from speaking and suddenly feel very self conscious.

“No.” He states fully and we both seem to be coming out of whatever the juice was doing to us- but only for a slight second.

“Have you?” He asks me and sits up.

“Never.” I admit and look away but feel my face being pulled back towards his in the gentlest way.

“We will learn with each other. We go as far as you want. I don’t want to pressure you to doing something you do not want.” He reassures me and kisses my lips again.

“So what now?” I asked him and he smiles.

“Lie down my sweet syulang.” He gently nudges me down and I follow his instructions. I can feel whatever flames were in my stomach before start to take over the nerves once again.

“Spread your legs.” He instructs and I follow and look up at the ceiling.

“Look at me, Yawne.” And I do. “You smell so sweet.”

“Wait, what are you-“ I ask before he licks a fat stripe on my pussy and I gasp.

He carefully wedges his tongue to spread my lips apart and I moan as he licks upward. He’s gently holding my thighs open but my hands felt empty. As if reading my mind his hands snake up to hold mine, the fists I once had were now warming up with his hands in them.

“Ao’nung rutxe, don’t st-ahh,” I’m the one letting his hands go and reach down toward his head and manage to tangle my fingers in there well enough to control his heads movements.

“You taste sweet, too.”

I now know why he’d held my thighs open earlier as I’m currently trying to suffocate him with them but the pleasure is too good and his tongue keeps circling on my clit and it all feels so good. And I feel something go in me at a gentle pace and the once building orgasm has muted as I feel it moving around.

“Ah-“ I open my eyes and look down to see he’s got one finger inside me and he’s staring me down. His finger stills but doesn’t pull out.

Does it hurt? He signs with his other hand

“N-no, just different, my fingers aren’t as thick as yours so this feels-“ I stop myself from rambling as he places a second finger in gently and I squeeze down hard.

“Ahh-“ I wince and try to withdraw but he stills my hips.

“Breathe, yawne. If I pull out now it could hurt worse, I will pull out if thats what you want but I’ve been told to tell you it gets better.”

“Told by who,”

“Is that really what you’re worried about?” He asks and I shake my head.

“It helps to forget the pain,”

“I can do that.” He immediately uses his thumb to circle my clit again and the pain subsides.

“Will it fit?” I ask again as his other hand is busy playing with my nipples.

“Yes.” He states but before I can ask if he’s sure he moves up to kiss me, and I just remembered how much bigger he was, yet he was being this gentle with me?

“Go faster my love,” I moan and connect out lips and start feeling pleasure from this experience. And he goes faster.

“Yes that spot, hit that again,” I clench my teeth at the overwhelming feeling I’m getting from his fingers and he smiles.

“Whatever you say, my love,” He smiles genuinely and it melts my heart. He leans down to kiss me again.

“Yes go faster, rutxe,”

“You don’t have to say that for me to go faster. You say and I’ll do. Always.” He says while going faster

“Kiss me.” And he kisses me.

“Again-“ He kisses me again.

“Mate with me,”

He unties his loincloth with one hand and slips out of it easily and the sight of his penis has my eyes widening. He tells me he’s going to slide his fingers out and does so but my eyes are on something else entirely.

“Theres blood on my fingers-“ He stares at his fingers in horror.

“Thats normal- for me.” I take his hand and hold it close to my chest. “On Earth, when you have sex for the first time, this happens. The custom- a long time ago- used to be to do this for the first time in your wedding night with the person you love.”

“It is a sign of loyalty?” Ao’nung questions and I nod.

“It’s like tsaheylu.”

“Then let us complete our custom.” He grabs his braid and brings it forward, his white tendrils moving in all directions.

“Are you certain?” I ask him and he smiles, giving me a peck real quick. He grabs my braid for me but before connecting looks me directly in my eyes.

“Are you certain?” He’s asking so sweetly while making sure our braids don’t connect.

“Yes.”

And the feeling itself is euphoric. My pupils are blown wide I’m sure, I could slightly feel them getting larger. I can feel how fast Ao’nung is breathing and can feel the strain of his cock as if the feeling were my own. I could feel how his heart was beating and the same warmth had settled over his own belly.

“Nga yawne lu oer,” Ao’nung states breathlessly.

“I love you, too.” I respond in english

It’s like he understood what I meant as he leans down to kiss me and manages to settle me in missionary. He lifts his head up and looks down between us and back up at me. I nod and feel him start to get nervous.

“It’s okay.” I place a hand on his cheek and gingerly stroke it.

“I don’t want to hurt you,”

“Have I screamed in pain at any point?” I ask and he smiles, kissing me again. He looks down between us and places his cock in his hands and guides it in slowly. I could feel my body clenching in anticipation and I shut my eyes harshly.

“Shit.” I grunt and squeeze harder when I feel the head sliding in slowly. The stretch burned real bad and at this point I stopped breathing.

“Breathe my love,” He gently strokes my clit after stopping just after his head had been pushed in.

“Ma’nung, you’re big.” I groan and throw my head back as the subtle sparks of him rubbing my clit start to fan the flames more.

“You’re so tight I might burst too soon.” He strains and I start to relax.

“Thats a compliment on Earth-“ I try to laugh and he slaps my thigh.

“Ahh!” I whine and he goes back to rubbing my clit and I moan immediately after.

“I’m going to keep pushing-“ He starts and as he does I can feel a sense of fullness but also his length dragging heavily on my g-spot and I moan.

“If you don’t move some more, I will cut your penis off.” I threaten and I can tell he’s confused by the sudden change of pace but I know he can feel what I feel.

“Shit, is that me?” He asks and I open my eyes to see him biting his lip, one of his fangs poking out, I look down myself and see a small bulge moving in my lower belly.

“Yes thats you-“ I moan as he’d started sliding out and his cock continues rubbing against my G-spot, it feels like the many orgasms I brought myself to happening all at once.

“Go faster-“ I whine and he does, snapping his hips at a steady pace and it feels so damn good.

“Faster-“ and he follows my command, not once questioning me.

“You’re swallowing me so easily, you feel so soft rubbing all over, and your stomach is- fuck-“ He cuts himself off and seems unsure of where to stare, at my pussy swallowing his cock or at my stomach as it plays peek-a-boo with him.

“Yawne, I’m too close-“

“I’m coming Ao’nung-“ I whine and feel myself spasm around his cock as I blubber on some stupid Na’Vi mixed with english non-sense.

Not once had he stopped thrusting his hips and the feeling of my orgasm continuously being stroked on had started what felt like the build of another one.

“Cock so good I’m coming twice-“ I groan in English and he starts whining himself. I never knew Na’vi men were vocal, and for some reason, the question can I come? Kept replaying in my head. Realizing I was still connected to Ao’nung I reach my hand up and pat his arm and he opens his eyes, lust evident on his face.

“You can come my love-“

The look of relief washed over his face but I could still feel like he was holding back. More of his thoughts flood my mind.

“Do it.” I confirm and he leans his whole body over mine, hitting spots I thought he was hitting before, quite literally fucking me so dumb I forgot my own name. His thrusts feel even more powerful at this angle and he bites the skin between my neck and my shoulder. His come washes over the both of us as I have my second orgasm and massage the spurts of come from his dick, coaxing more to come out with every wave of pleasure I felt. He lazily kisses me and pulls out, I hiss from the sting of his fat head stretching me open.

“Come here-“ Ao’nung quite literally lifts me to lay on his chest as we both catch our breath.

“I meant it.” He says while lazily stroking my back, but he didn’t have to explain, we were still connected, I already knew.

“I do too.” I sigh and lean into his chest to listen to his heart beat lulling me to sleep.

_________

I wake up and realize my body is being caged in but I felt warm and comfortable so I stayed snuggled up in what I thought was my blanket.

“Good, you’re awake.”

My eyes have never snapped open so quick after hearing that voice. His morning after voice was deep and sensual and it had me tingling. I look up to see that it was still dark.

“It’s not morning yet.” I groan and get comfortable again.

“Yes, my love, but I need some assistance.” He states as if he were straining and I turn my head to see him struggling with another boner.

“Oh my-“ I turn quickly. “- how long have you been dealing with that!” I asked and he whines.

“You’ve spent the entire time grinding me while you slept, I didn’t want to wake you, but we mate up to three times during one session.” He tries saying it in a nice way but I understood what he meant.

“Slide it in next time.”

“But you were sleeping.”

“I know, Ma’nung, but nothing better than waking up to an orgasm, or being loved on.” I stated while sliding one leg up, still laying sideways.

Ao’nung is hesitant, but we were still connected by our bond too. I was surprised.

“I forgot you have a fat head-“ I groan as he slides it in and gives me time to adjust but also feeling instant relief to be back inside me. The hand underneath my waist snakes over to rub my clit as he pumps pathetically inching in very slowly, but I could feel what he felt.

“Come inside my love-“ I moan as he comes inside for the second time tonight, letting him continue thrusting lazily while sliding across my G-spot.

“You feel so warm, so good, I can’t get enough.” He groans while continuing the same movement and I could feel him getting hard again.

“Is this why your mom is pregnant for the sixth time?” I asked and he ignores me but wraps his hands around my body, pulling me closer to him.

“Can I come again, my love?” He asks while his thrusts are becoming more powerful.

“How many more times can you come tonight?” I asked and start meeting his thrusts in the middle, feeling the familiar sensation about to snap in my belly.

“As many times as it takes to make you round with child, I can’t wait to see you waddle with my life inside of you-“

“Fill me to the brim,” I groaned as he continues thrusting while imagining myself pregnant with his children. But the mental images he was seeing began flashing in my mind and he wanted to fuck me while pregnant, pushing my body past its limits and taking me in every position.

“Come my love-“ He grunts in my ear and all I can do is squeeze around his cock and moan loudly.

_________

“You don’t want anyone to hear us, do you?” He teases while thrusting in my cunt ever so slowly while he held me against the tree.

“No,” I try to stay quiet but he only slaps his big hand over my mouth.

He’d decided to fish on the docks today instead of following a hunting party and when he’d finish casting his third net full of fish he’d told the guys he was with that he’d be back in a few. I’d been picking seashells with his mom and sister when he called me away and lead me to where we were.

“You’re such a pathetic thing, Yawne,” He glides his dick over my G spot effortlessly and I’m a mess, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

“Eyes on me, my love, I want to see what I do to you.” He smiles cockily and I whine loud enough for him to hear.

“I want to come-“

“No.” He states firmly and slides his cock back in. “Be good for me and we’ll see if you deserve to come, my love.”

“Kiss me-“ I demand and he leans in, gently taking in the back of my neck and kissing me sweetly.

“G-go faster-“ I pant as he does and my eyes roll back.

“Come my love, come.” Ao’nung instructs me and I bite my lip as I release myself all over his cock.

“No don’t pull out,” I hold on to his hand tightly as if thats where I needed to hold him.

“We have to go back and-“

“I need you, Ma’nung,” I complain and he smirks.

“Of course, how could I have been so dumb,” He states and starts thrusting even faster.

“Ah!” I moaned and he slaps his hand over my mouth again.

“How can something so small be so loud?” He groans in my ear while he thrusts into me. My toes were curling as if they had a mind of their own and he was only holding me by my waist with one hand, he’s so fucking strong.

“How can someone so big be so big-“ I groan as he resorts to moving me up and down on his cock.

“I want to torture this orgasm out of you, my love. I want to make you the same babbling mess you were last night.” His voice was deeper and he was starting to grunt with every thrust. His hand came down from my mouth and stroked my clit lazily.

“Please let me come-“

“No.”

“Thats what you said earlier and you still let me-“ I whine and he forcefully grabs my cheeks to pull my face closer toward his.

“You cum when you only know my name and nothing else.”

I squeezed on him harder.

“You like when I’m rough with you, huh.” He places his hand on my chest and I grab it and place it on my neck without flinching and gently squeezes the sides and I could feel myself squeezing his cock once more.

“No, I w-wan- come.”

“Not dumb enough my love.”

_________

“Is anything off lim-limi- limits with y-you?” I asked as he thrusts under the water while his thick cock glides in and out of me.

“No. Never.” He groans before going faster. “You’ll be the death of me, now shut up and come.” He states while circling my clit.

“I don-don’t wanna-“ I whine but was to sensitive to hold on any longer.

“Yes you do, I can feel it. And not because we’re connected.”

_________

“Yawne please!” Ao’nung cries as I slide down further.

I’d mentioned riding once and he had been asking every single day if we could try it, but I wasn’t sure how feasable it would be, only because he’s huge and the thigh strength I’d need would need to come fro Eywa herself.

“This isn’t easy for me either!” I groan and completely slid down his cock and met his hips. Realization hits me as he hugs my body into his own.

“No you better not-“

“I’m coming~” He moans in my ear and it triggered my own orgasm.

_________

“Quiet my love.” Ao’nung shushes me.

“Please,” I beg and he thrusts harshly into me and I moan again.

“I love you-“ He states in English.

“Nga yawne lu oer-“ I whine back as he circles my clit with his thumb. He slams back in again.

“I like seeing you fucked dumb, my love.” He responds in English again and I’m going crazy.

“How bad do you want to come?” He asks in Na’vi and I can’t comprehend the question at all and babble some nonsense.

“I need you to come, sweet girl.” He coo’s and covers my mouth to muffle my sounds with his own in a deep heated kiss.

“Thats it, my love,” He coo’s as he joins me, still managing to gently caress my cheeks at his highest point of euphoria.

_________

“Have you told her it was an aphrodisiac?” Neytiri asks and Lo’ak rolls his eyes.

“Yes Ma’am.” He replies.

“Good.” Ronal states while working on cutting the fruit she had.

“Was this necessary?” Tsireya asks while sneaking a couple of the fruit pieces for herself since she was expecting.

“All the necessary, my sweet girl.” Ronal stated to her daughter.

“If not for that small lie they would not be sneaking around horribly and procreating like they are.” Neytiri points out.

“They’re sneaking around in public and doing that?” Taireya’s eyes widen In shock and Lo’ak laughs.

“Of course they are. Just the other day, Ao’nung said he couldn’t come hunting because he had to pick some tulip thorns from the tree’s for her. They grow in the ground.”

Ronal laughs at this too and shakes her head.

“Maybe she will become pregnant soon like us.” Kiri happily continues creating medicine or saves from the peels of the fruit.

“Human male and Hybrid Na’vi can procreate. Lets see if Na’vi nale and hybrid Na’vi can do the same.” Ronal smiles.

“I believe they can. Our world is changing.” Neytiri comments.

[dailydoseofaustinbutler]

How does it work?

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[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hi hi! I love your translations💙I’ve been listening to yume no kanata on repeat it’s literally my favorite, is there any way possible we could get a translation for it🤞🤲 thank you for everything!!

Skipping around in the request queue while I chip away at Torima Get on the Floor. So sure thing!

Stylistic notes:

This song is written in a semi-literary, confessional style reminiscent of an I-novel. In the interest of capturing a similar tone, I've been a little loose with word choice and sentence structure but have taken care not to introduce new ideas. Some reasonable assumptions have been made and marked in footnotes.

The song is playful with its ambivalence in subject and listener. "You" is only explicitly mentioned twice (信じられるのは君だけだわ - You are the only one I can trust; 君の背中は今日も強く大きく見えたんだ Today again your back looms before me), and every other stated subject is conveyed via pronouns connoting distance or lack thereof. Distance plays a distinct role throughout the song thematically. Gentarou, the speaker, is placing himself at a distance from the listener ("you") in a deliberate subversion of the close, intimate nature of confessional writing.

This ambiguity allows for many valid interpretations of the same song. While it might be possible to write an equally ambiguous version of the text in English, I suspect the overall effect would be far more avant garde than the Hypmic writers intended. I therefore chose the interpretation that made the most sense to me: the listener ("you") being both Fling Posse and Gentarou's brother.

I encourage casual readers to ignore the footnotes, but those interested in alternate translations or the nitty-gritty details of this song will have plenty to devour.

Translation:

Oh, I'm so very tired of this mundane, superficial world we live in. I keep waiting for the truth. (Or is it your response I'm waiting for?) [1] I know the object of my desires will never come--but still, I wait. Oh, I'm so very tired of being betrayed, of having my expectations shattered, so I think I'll choose to place my trust in you--and only you. I'm not sure I feel at home in "my" new room yet. [2] You are gone, but some part of you remains--a warm afterimage that refuses to cool. [3] [4] For you've gone and hidden yourself away again somewhere far, far away. [5] I can only wonder: Where are you? What does the world look like through your eyes, wherever you may be? [6]

I say nothing when the rain comes pouring down upon my head. I make no sound when sorrow weighs my steps--but it matters little, for there is no fooling you.

Wherever I look in town, there you are. [7]

Wishes rattle off your tongue as automatically as you draw breath. [8] It's enchanting, really--so much that I find myself torn between you and "you." [9]

There is nothing more wretchedly useless than meaning, but all the same, I must admit--not one word of all you've said was a lie. [10]

The fated hour is close at hand, but there's so much more of this story still yet to read--I don't want to give it up now.

For as we speak, the very same stars that shine down on me are bathing you in their light somewhere far, far away. [11] I can only wonder: Where are you? What does the world look like through your eyes, wherever you may be?

You mustn't think I'm being dramatic. I'm not putting on airs when I speak in such a fashion. I've simply [12] staked everything that I am--gambled my life--to do what I must. [13] It has changed everything. Everything--the vacuous, [14] insipid world we live in; my truth [15]--has transformed into... [16]

I say nothing when the rain comes pouring down upon my head. I make no sound when sorrow weighs my steps--but it matters little, for there is no fooling you.

Wherever I look in town, there you are: in this spinning record of a town [17] that brings me ever closer to hopes of better tomorrows [18]--carries me far, far away. [19]

Footnotes:

[1] "Truth" is placed at a neutral distance from the speaker, hence "the." "Your" response is assumed based on series context. Presumably, it's Gentarou's brother responding/waking up from his coma. The word "truth" is spoken in the song but written with the pronunciation for "response" in the lyrics. This is a common tactic in writing to suggest and emphasize that two disparate things are the same, hence the parentheses.

[2] It's perfectly valid (and perhaps more natural) to read this line as "Are you settled into your new room?" Per series context and the following line, I chose to make Gentarou the subject for the purpose of this translation. "My" is in scare quotes to draw attention to Gentarou assuming his brother's life; it is original to this translation.

[3] I leaned into the emotional aspect of this line to convey the connotation of 温もり/warmth. 温もり often suggests emotion, love, etc. and to preserve the cooling image from the source I kept the word "warmth" as is and added the "afterimage" and "some part of you" aspects for tone. "You" is assumed from context and the distance in その. Were we to read this as Gentarou talking about his brother's room (see footnote 2), I suppose this would indicate something like "You still carry your life/energy/warmth with you into your new [hospital?] room."

[4] The excessive em-dash usage is a translation original and was chosen for tone. The deliberate placements are for poetic structure.

[5] Added "far, far away" for distance imagery (see the その) and to set up repetition for the final lines of the song. Again, this is for poetic structure.

[6] "You" is assumed. An argument could be made that Gentarou is referring to himself (almost in third-person) as the one hiding away and looking out at the world, perhaps not seeing anything, but this wouldn't be my first reading of it.

[7] I originally wrote something like "Wherever I look in town, I see you stamped over it in an indelible imprint" but decided that a simpler, shorter line would have more effect on the heels of the longer sentences preceding it. The literal "Today again your back looms before me" is referring to the common image of "seeing [someone else's] back" or the speaker feeling that someone else is worthier/stronger/"ahead of" themselves. It can also be accompanied by a feeling of someone being "close" enough to catch up with, Here, I interpreting it as Gentarou seeing reminders of his brother everywhere and thinking he has big shoes to fill. Later, I read the "you" as having switched to Fling Posse, with Gentarou seeing the mark they've made on the world and thinking he's finally "close" enough to join them emotionally. It could also be read as Gentarou literally walking a pace or two behind Fling Posse on an outing, with his attention focused on them. Finally, the この on "town" suggests a closeness of feeling. I opted for simple "in town" for the simplicity and the closeness implied in its colloquialism.

[8] "as [someone] breaths" is a common phrase and is short for "as easily as [someone] breaths." The verb used for "speaking" on this line has a somewhat negative connotation, so I went for "rattle off the tongue."

I'm interpreting this "you" as Fling Posse.

[9] Added "between you and 'you'" for clarity. The scare quotes are simply for readability and to draw attention to the nature of the two listeners. That Gentarou feels forced to choose between his brother and Fling Posse is an assumption on my part substantiated by canon and context of the song.

[10] The その on "words" gives it a distance that suggests these words belong to "you." I found this interesting--I would've assumed it was Gentarou talking about himself if not for the rest of the song's structure.

[11] "夜天光" is technically cosmic background radiation, but I swapped this for "stars" for the sake of tone. I'm not sure if the distinction carries intended meaning. I'm inclined to think no... I could see an argument for tying this into Gentarou's feelings of emptiness, but as the word contains nothing about the vacuum of space in Japanese, this feels like a stretch.

[12] Intentional oxymoron. Gentarou is being very dramatic in his word choice.

[13] "do what I must" is implied. I was a bit torn on how to handle this, as the source only outright says "to take on" and leaves the challenge/hurdle/ordeal implied. This can be interpreted in a number of different ways, particularly Gentarou facing Otome over the manuscript, so I tried to preserve the ambiguity in such a fashion that would still be poetic.

[14] I'm not married to any of the wording in this translation apart from this use of "vacuous" to suggest emptiness.

[15] Bolding and italics mine for emphasis. The word "truth" from the opening verse is now paired with この for closeness. Used "my" for the same effect.

[16] The source trails off to imply that a change has been made, that the vapid everyday has become meaningful and fun. I spelled out "It has changed everything" and "transformed" to preserve this meaning and also let it trail off to avoid putting extra words in Gentarou's mouth.

[17] The 廻る/"spinning" alludes to Torima Get on the Floor, so I added the "record" for clarity.

[18] 明日を迎える/"to reach tomorrow" is a common hopeful phrase, so I used the common phrase "better tomorrows" and fluffed up the phrasing for tone.

[19] The 彼方/"other side"/"far away" from the title

[nebulablakemurphy]

Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Part 9)

Jacob Black x Vampire!Swan Reader

This has been in my drafts for over 2 years 😂Proceed with caution, steamy make out session and some blood drinking.

Series Masterlist

It has been ten minutes…maybe more since Y/N was taken into the Cullen’s meeting room. It’s been radio silence, since Bella and Edward came back from their honeymoon. When Y/N does emerge, Jacob knows immediately, something is very wrong.

“Jacob,” she reaches a hand toward him. “Come with me?”

Jake moves to stand, twining their fingers and allowing the vampire to lead him out the front door, down to his bike. He leans against it, expectantly. “You gonna tell me what the hell’s going on?”

“Bella’s pregnant.”

“With what exactly?” Jacob grimaces.

“Carlisle isn’t sure, they’re…we’re trying to figure it out.”

“So make them take it out of her, he’s a doctor.”

“Jake,” Y/N shakes her head, “she doesn’t want it out.”

“What?”

“It’s her choice and I won’t take it from her.” She knows what it feels like.

“This is different.” This is fucked.

“She thinks Carlisle can turn her at the last minute.” Y/N fidgets with his fingers as she speaks.

“Can he?” The wolf clears his throat.

“It’s possible.”

“But not probable.”

“Baby,” Y/N frowns, “I don’t want to fight. I need you to help me, help her.”

Jacob sighs, “what can I do?”

————————————————————————

Charlie is not so easily swayed, he knows Y/N knows something. He watches his eldest daughter intently at breakfast.

Bella is sick with some kind of bug, currently recovering at a luxury facility in Sweden. Or so the story goes.

The sheriff eyes his oldest daughter over the morning paper.

Y/N catches him, meeting his eye with an awkward smile as she forces a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

“When did we start lying to each other, kid?” Charlie asks.

“When it became necessary to keep you safe. I think it’s the same on your end.”

Charlie is taken aback by this. It’s the most honest answer he’s got from her in months. “If you’re in some kind of trouble, or Bella is-”

“It’s not the kind of trouble you can help me with.”

“Wish you’d at least talk to me about it.”

“I wish I could, Dad.” Y/N admits.

“But you can’t. For the sake of my safety?” He knows this game.

“All of ours.”

Charlie sighs. “Do you know anything else about Bella? How she’s doing?”

“I know she’s alright.” For now. “That’s all I know.”

————————————————————————

Days pass in a blur, Bella withering away as her belly grows.

“How’s dad?” She asks Y/N, curling both legs up under her, on the couch.

Y/N tosses her a blanket. “He’s alright. He misses you though.” She can’t imagine what he’ll be like when they actually…leave.

Bella nods. “How are you?”

“I’m ok.” Y/N lifts a shoulder. She has to be. “The baby could be here anytime now, I need to hunt so I’ll be gone for the day.”

“That’s fine.” Bella’s teeth chatter, she is so cold.

“I’ll leave Jacob with you, he can be your personal hot box.”

“N-no.” Bella forces out, “you don’t have to.”

“I’m not letting you suffer anymore than you already are, Bella.” Y/N mutters, bitterly.

Jacob is leaning against the doorframe, with his arms crossed, waiting for his queue.

Y/N makes her way over to him, feeling his arms encircle her waist, crushing her to him. She nuzzles into the crook of his neck. “Will you stay with her?”

“Yeah,” his words are lost in her hair.

She presses a kiss to his jugular.

“I would let you.” Jacob whispers, “if you want to try, so you don’t have to leave her like this.”

Y/N pulls back, searching his eyes. “No, Jake.” It’s come up before. Bite me.

“I’m not affected by your venom unless I’m already injured.”

“No.”

“It’s no different than you drinking from an animal. I heal fast, it won’t be an issue.”

Y/N opens her mouth to protest.

“I can feel you,” Jacob reminds her. “There’s nothing to feel bad or guilty about. I want you to.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N doesn’t want to further complicate their relationship.

He nods, “come on.” They find an unoccupied room in the Cullen’s home. Jacob flops down on their cream colored sofa, patting his lap.

Y/N eyes him, warily. Climbing to sit over top his thighs, facing him.

Jacob brushes Y/N’s hair over her shoulders and out of the way. Kissing her lips, her forehead, her nose, “bite me.”

She finds a spot on the side of his neck, peppering his beautiful skin with her kisses, breaking it with her teeth.

Jacob groans, turning his head to give her better access.

Y/N whimpers as his blood fills her mouth, trickling down to ease the burning in her throat.

“You’re ok.” He swallows and she feels it against her tongue. “I love you.”

Fuck. Y/N rolls her hips against his. “I love you.”

“I know,” he guides her back to the opening on his neck. His heart beats faster at the pull of her sucking swallows, he hopes she never stops. Jacob sighs contently as she takes her fill of him on the Cullen’s sitting room couch.

Her lips are on his, the moment she’s finished. His bitter blood in her mouth, it’s not as good as the animals she’s accustomed to feeding from. The only thing making the taste bearable is the knowledge that it’s his. Jacob’s blood fueling her, filling her. Belonging to him so wholly.

Jacob tastes the blood and kisses her anyway. The wound on his neck has already begun to heal, he pulls her closer. He never wants her to drink from anything but him again.

Perhaps it’s the imprint, or the reincarnation, maybe it’s just love. Whatever the culprit may be, they are in it now, too deep to ever surface.

Only one thing could steal them from revelry now. The sound of Bella’s tortured screams. The baby is coming.

Part 10

Series Taglist: @vxidnik @remembered-license @itscheybaby @cole22ann @the-tryhard-twihard @zheezs14 @adaydreamaway08 @xcastawayherosx @moneteguiza @stinkii-boii @theatrechic26 @sylum @irrelevant-86

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 4

Any requests of where you want to see this go? Or are you liking the story how it is? Let me know whatever you think :)

Part 3

You weren't banking on the park gates being locked. They stretched at least two metres high and seemed to expand around the entire perimeter until meeting the edge of a dark forest in the near distance.

You frown in confusion and glance around for any sign of Kyra, you were already on edge, it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience navigating yourself around a new town in the dead of night. But your excitement at meeting Kyra out weighed your fear of actually getting to her.

'Oy' You hear the accent before you see her. As if on queue, Kyra appears behind you with a timid smile on her face. She was dressed similarly to you except where you were wearing bright green crocs, she had opted for trainers. Kyra had a ball under her arm and you groaned inwardly at your choice of footwear.

'It's nice to meet ya' Kyra stuck out a free hand which you took eagerly and grinned back at her.

'Likewise'

Kyra dropped your hand and moved past you until she stood in front of the gate and haphazardly threw the ball over. She grasped at the gate bars and hoisted herself up with ease before dropping down the other side. She paused to look back you.

'Coming?' She winked cheekily and you couldn't resist following the girl over having thought that maybe you'd finally met your partner in mayhem. You struggled a little more so than she had done because of your questionable footwear but eventually you managed to hoist yourself over the bars to where Kyra was waiting with the ball.

'I thought you might fancy a kick about?'

You chuckled and snatched the ball from Kyra's foot. 'What size shoe are you?

'What ?' Kyra's eyes widened 'Why?"

'I can't play with crocs on both my feet!' you explained already removing a croc from your left foot and holding it out to Kyra. 'Trade me one shoe and then we'll be even'

Kyra scoffed and hesitantly removed her own shoe. 'Why'd you wear crocs anyway?...And why are they so green? It's like you've skinned Shrek for them'

'I haven't been bothered to unpack yet' You explained tugging on Kyra's shoe. 'And my crocs are cool, you're missing out not having a pair of your own'

'I really doubt that' She countered, grimacing down at her feet before whacking the ball from your hands and sprinting across the field with it towards the nearest goal. You were hot on her heels and just as she was gearing up the shoot you slipped the ball away from her and towards the opposing goal.

'Come on' you shouted over your shoulder 'Aren't you suppose to be Kim Little's prodigy daughter?' You line up the ball and launch it towards the goal, it bounces off the cross bar and you cover your face in embarrassment.

'I can tell you're no top striker' Kyra caught up to you and patted your shoulder sarcastically. 'Less doesn't need to worry about competition'

'You're close with Russo?' You question more than eager to get a head start on understanding team dynamics.

Kyra nodded and went to fetch the ball. 'She's a lot like my older sister over here. You won't find anyone nicer than Lessi...penalties?' she asked.

'Only if you want to get destroyed' You mock running over to the goal to act as stand-in keeper. 'Best of five?'

'You're on y/n'

Somehow playing football with Kyra felt familiar. The way the girl passed back to you or teased you for showing off, it all felt as though you'd played with her your entire life. It was a stupid thing to think, really. And yet here you were, kicking a ball about with Kyra Cooney-Cross until the sun began to rise and the birds rose from their nests. Lost in the game, neither you or Kyra noticed how muddy the two of you had become or how as the skies grew lighter, you were getting closer to needing to leave for the Emirates.

'You know what we should do?' Kyra says suddenly stopping in her tracks. 'Feed the fans'

You grinned mischievously, immediately catching onto what she was hinting at. 'Your phone or mine?'

'Yours' she said instantly making you raise an eyebrow suspiciously. 'I hid Leah's boots at training today so i'm in her bad books right now but she can't be mad at you, you're not even officially an Arsenal player yet!'

Sighing you pull out your phone slightly nervous at the possibility of pissing off one of your captains before you've even shook her hand. 'I'll post to instagram' you said all the same.

Y/n13 added to their story

[ach-sss-no]

Schrödinger's Hobbit extemporaneous liveblog chapter 1

(It's extemporaneous because I'm queueing some of these posts and lightly editing for coherence, it's just easier for me to do things this way) I decided to read through a fanfic of mine and make notes for personal reasons.

[A couple people were kind enough to express interest in this! so I wanted to add, if you have any questions about anything in the fic please ask, because I might leave stuff out. Sometimes we all gloss over things that seem obviously notable to someone else. We've all had that embarassing incident where we forget to mention that the marsh we're navigating is cursed and full of dead people]

I'm not reading any of the author's notes. The beginning one is long.

I remember I tried to make it really clear right away that this is book canon because I was starting it off at the canon divergence point which is a scene PIVOTAL TO THIS CHARACTER that is NOT IN THE MOVIES.

This story exists because I assumed there would be Gollum redemption fics out there already and I didn't see any, and I was disappointed because I was curious to see how people would solve this problem and no one had even tried. I mean that. There were a few 'what if he was good?' oneshots and I did really enjoy them but they ALL took place, IIRC, AFTER the redemption point (he was just hanging out inthe Shire or something.) There was just a total dearth of actual-heart-change-character-arc Gollum fic. So I decided to take a crack at it myself, but since I did write it myself, this fic still doesn't fill the desire for wanting to see how other people would do it. I read & write fanfiction mostly as a social thing and my own work never meets the craving for seeing someone else's story. I'm harping on that because nowadays the response to 'I wish there was [x fic]' is usually 'write it yourself! :) :) :)' but that doesn't help me personally. Because what I want is specifically not my own story. I get different kinds of reinforcement from writing than reading.

Alas! I still wrote this story.

I remember thinking I wanted to start off right away firmly in GOllum's POV because, in part, I think fanfic and transformative works should be about things that were not and should not have been in the original, and for what I think were solid artistic reasons, LOTR stays firmly out of Gollum's POV. His POV would be interesting, but doesn't serve his role in the original story. (We do see a glimpse of it in The Hobbit, in a scene which studio executives thru Peter Jackson absolutely desecrated. But we're not here to talk about THEIR AU. This is MY AU. I'm kind of stalling from actually reading it.)

It starts in Cirith Ungol. My take was that Gollum's true, final heel turn was there, what with the 'fleeting moment gone beyond recall' talk.

There is a sticky bit here which is that Gollum's final push towards evil was facilitated by Sam, who sees a moment of real emotional vulnerability and says something snappish. But it's important to me that a redemption story follow from free will choices only. (at least, this one.) So I have a problem where Gollum isn't exactly doing anything wrong at a moment where I need him to make a different decision. I don't want the 'good turn' moment to come from Sam, but it also didn't seem fitting for Gollum to just not snap when he's called a sneak. So, instead, I decided to make it so that Gollum decides he's unworthy to touch Frodo and he doesn't and he doesn't trigger Sam.

What Gollum is thinking in canon in this scene is, as I have said, an utter mystery. I chose a characterization where he's not thinking anything morally deep but just seeking connection.

Just like the mud, when he had come back to the hobbits after finding some worms to eat and the mud had been on his face and hands, and they had looked so sad, and so horrified;

I'm calling back to this moment because there are three moments in the trilogy where GOllum quietly watches Sam and Frodo interacting. Cirith Ungol is the climactic one. The first one is when he comes back from eating bugs and he's covered in mud and for a moment he watches Sam and Frodo interacting instead of saying 'hi I'm back I was eating bugs'

He pulled away, finally. He almost considered reaching back, voice or no voice… but then it occurred to him: his hands were dirty. He ought not to touch the nice Master with dirty hands.

So, like, I want him to make a free will choice, but obviously, if not interrupted, the scene will run as it did in canon and end in lava. I'm trying to go for 'Gollum's attention is diverted for a moment by the mysterious voice and he rethinks what he's doing and chooses a different action which has a different series of consequences' rather than 'Gollum is briefly wrenched out of character by an outside force that is definitely not the author'. It may be weak, but it is a fanfiction AU and we all know why we're here and you're either on board with it or you're not. Whatever.

So Gollum sat there huddled and alone while Sam and Frodo were together just a few feet away.

My thesis is that Gollum is damaged almost more by the isolation than by the soul-stealing ring. The rest of the fic turned out to revolve around him (spoiler) discovering he's an extravert. This is not subtle.

Master said: "Sméagol, I am not worthy of such veneration, even from you. I am only a hobbit. Please get up."

One of the most difficult things about this fic was Gollum's POV. Not writing his inner monologue- that wasn't difficult. That was delightful. Everyone loves writing in MietteGollumspeak. Rather, his limitations in perceiving others' motivations and moods were even more difficult than usual in limited POV, because Gollum has difficulty interpreting social signals that goes beyond the norm, and also, at the same time, everyone needs to be in character. Also, also, Gollum isn't always aware of what he DOESN'T know, and can't always tell the reader 'someone is emoting but I can't tell! :)' That needs to be left implied unless he's really getting confused to the point where he understands he's missing something.

What I'm getting at is that Frodo is telling Gollum to stop bowing in part because it's creeping him out, but Frodo is being very tactful about it and at this point in the story Gollum can't read tone of voice well (and he's not looking at Frodo's face).

There were many points in this fic where I had to just be okay with things being ambiguous or unclear. That's usually for the better anyway.

Gollum heard this and his wretched mind thought: How great must Master really be, if he does not even want me to grovel, to show him his greatness. Not like Her! He must know how great he is, and not need me to tell him, and he is being very polite to Sméagol by telling him he needn't bother. How could I have thought of taking him to Her? She would rip him up like a bit of paper and then he would be gone, yes precious, and She would still be a nasty big spider and I would still be hungry. I will always be hungry, and She will only tell me that She is hungrier, and Master is telling me I needn't bow.

I'm trying to be very clear up front that this is unreliable narrator fic that's deep in POV and you are getting exactly this kind of thing for the rest of the story and if you don't like it leave now. I'm a big believer that stories should tell you very quickly what they are and what you're in for.

To that end, I also slapped a massive wall of AO3 classification tags on this thing. One of them is 'crack treated seriously'. Some people thought it was odd to characterize the fic as crack at all. I think the premise is cracky enough, but I wouldn't consider a Boromir Lives or Wormtongue Lives or Denethor Lives to be crack...

Gollum's situation is a little different though.

Skip ahead: ring scene. A lot of things happen but essentially Gollum chooses to throw the Ring away rather than trying to keep it. (He still wrestled it away from Frodo, but without maiming him)

"Sméagol!" A thin hobbit voice that he should not have heard over the cries of 'my precious o my precious' that he did not realize he was babbling, but he heard. A desperate voice, one that did not expect to be heeded. "Cast it away, Sméagol! Please!"

I wanted to leave it ambiguous whether this is Frodo or Sam or even a hallucination. For all I know this is Deagol talking.

Later on, Gandalf says 'you cast [the Ring] into the fire with your own hand, unbidden' which is a contradiction, because someone did in fact tell/beg him to throw it away. I don't remember whether I was trying to imply that this voice was not real or if it's just a mistake.

I feel like anything that's straight from LOTR with changes to fit the AU is probably the weakest part of this because I'm just copying something from a much stronger writer and changing it a little and the seams show. But I think people are (or should be) a little forgiving because it's a fanfic and the establishing purpose of this should be obvious.

That nasty old Sam's going to let go of me, isn't he. More fool him! I am dying. Sméagol is dead already. 

Another purpose of the fic is supposed to be to draw out and highlight the aspects of book!Gollum's character that I enjoy (and to indulge in playing with them). Sometimes it feels like I can say more about a work through a transformative work than I could by just quote-dumping from it and going 'hey look at that!', which is another reason I write fanfic.

Anyway I like it when he cracks wise. In the way that Scrooge makes cracks about underdone potato when faced with Jacob Marley, Smeagol has the audacity to make digs at Sam while he believes he's actively dying. 'He's gonna let go of me. Joke's on him, you can't kill what's already dead!' It's also characterizing that Gollum is so convinced of the basic meanness of life and such a vindicitve little snot at this point that he really thinks Sam would pull him back from the brink in order to say 'lmao' and let go again.

Oh, one thing I did in this fic that I thought for sure would get at least one confused comment was writing Smeagol without any sign of disassociative identity/multiple personality. He's one integrated person. That was how I felt about him reading the book (at least 95% of the time) and the movies went real hard with their own thing and I thought for sure SOMEONE would say (well-meaningly) that they expected to see multiple personalities. But they haven't! Not so far. (I almost said something about this in the author's note, but I didn't want it to become a topic of conversation unless someone else brought it up, so I didn't.) I believe a new PJ-verse movie with Gollum is set for release soonish? and that will probably drive interest in the character and might lead to movieverse fans finding my fic and finally getting confused by it. I haven't yet seen any confusion from anyone encountering the book canon's version of the events in the fic (which came in for this chapter and also comes in later, much later, when Faramir appears), but the future is unknown!

Anyway when I talk about the character I tend to use Gollum and Smeagol interchangeably as two names for the same guy and if that confuses you I apologize. I am not going to remember to stay consistent.

My fic just uses Gollum as his name in the narration because TOlkien always used the name Gollum in the narration.

"Master!" There was a pause here, for emotion that could not be expressed in words. Then: "I've just been fetching Sméagol, in case you still want him, but I'm not sure he's going to be any good to anyone, ever again. The poor wretch!"

It's kind of difficult to write Sam from Gollum's POV because I like Sam and Gollum just straight out hates him. It's hard not to either dial back with 'but Sam is a good person I don't hate him pleeease' or overcompensate for my personal bias and have him come off worse than he should. (to be fair, Sam is genuinely a huge jerk to Gollum at times in canon. It's hilarious. Also sad though.) It looks like I cheated a little here and dipped into omniscient POV. Gollum might be unconscious already.

Cut to Gollum being carried away by Gandalf (on an eagle; but Gollum can't tell this due to being half-conscious, and later on I'm pretty sure someone tells him he escaped on an eagle and he goes 'sounds fake 🙃' )

Gone! Forever! Without it he was a husk, a shell, the discarded bits left after prying open an oyster- wet things to clack together and then toss into the mud and leave.

I'm reaching for MetaphorsTM because I thought Gollum would think in sensory and emotional terms more than clear speech.

Gandalf is reading his mind because I need a conversation to happen here and my POV character cannot speak due to vague volcano-related injuries.

Time skips happen, Gollum is recuperating and Frodo comes to visit. (Gollum is still half-conscious and there are no visual descriptions from his POV.)

But Master's voice was calm. "You were keeping it from him when I could not. I am not angry. You have kept your promise, and you have done more besides that I did not ask. I thank you. Many have cause to thank you, whether or not they shall ever know it."

Frodo doesn't ouright say this and Gollum doesn't infer it, but Frodo is being so nice because he thinks Gollum is going to die. Like, any minute now.

Essentially, from Frodo's perspective he is in a Disney Death scene. You know. Where people say 'oh he was so great' because they think their friend is dead but then he's not and they have to deal with it.

"It sounds like you shouldn't talk," said Frodo.

That might be a 'please. oh please don't talk'

"Is the nice Master well?" It must have hurt Master to have the Precious go into the fire, too- it must have hurt him very badly. Gollum felt as if the fire was burning in his own skin, even now. And the emptiness, the loss of it.

I was trying to go for 'Gollum's thoughts are more eloquent than his speech can express' (he's having detailed interior worries and self-identification with Frodo that ends up flattened into 'How you doin' on the way out of his mouth) and as the story goes on he begins to be able to say more of what he's thinking. Actually this is something Tolkien does with Sam to some extent (look for passges where there's some flower beautiful thing and then 'But Sam didn't know how to say that'. Through the meta 'oh but Sam wrote the account later on!' we get the insinuation that Sam later learned how to articulate these things.)

"I have heard you are not. I was told that perhaps I should not even see you," said Frodo. "I came anyway because it's possible that I won't have another chance."

"Because I was told you're going to go live on a farm. with Boromir [who is also alive though spolerss]"

Another voice interceded here: "I believe you will have opportunity to see him again, Frodo. Do not worry yourself on that account."

I may have intended that Frodo (who in the book does in fact want Gollum dead! or is at least tempted to want him dead! see: waterfall scene!) is sort of counting on an imminent demise, because he's acting like he thinks the end is near even though Gandalf is saying that's just. not true

Gollum wanted to say you never goes anywhere without your nasty old Sam or something in that vein, because it seemed so odd that Sam was not there if Sam was alive, but he started coughing instead.

Gollum is in Fanfiction Invalid Mode for the beginning part of the fic for a few reasons, one, I thought it would be inevitable for any sense of realism because Frodo and Sam were also in invalid mode in canon after the destruction of the Ring and if Gollum didn't literally crumble to dust he would at least be suffering severe dehydration and other things. But it's also because he is such a stubborn arrogant nasty little bugger. I thought that if I wanted a premise of 'Gollum's presence is tolerated' I had to severely break him down. So he's ill to the point of relying on others for survival moment to moment.

And it's already helping him, because it stops him making rude comments about Sam to Frodo, which would have been a poor strategic move, relationally.

Gollum notes Sam's absence as odd because he did in canon (see again: waterfall scene; frodo shows up to get him out of the pool and into the cop car, and gollum asks something like 'where is the other hobbit, the cross rude one' or something equally uncomplimentary)

Gollum knows Sam and Frodo are inseparable.

Gollum understands their characters better than New Line Cinema did.

And I have cause to thank you as well, not only for your deeds, but because due to your actions I can handily win many arguments I have been having

In the book Gandalf had a difficult time convicing Frodo that Gollum shouldn't be put to death. I doubt Frodo was the only one who thought he was irredeemable. Because uhh he was. in the real timeline. Still worked out well not to kill him though.

Perhaps his time was better spent sleeping than in trying to figure out wizards. "I think you are right," said Gandalf, "for you will never figure out wizards.

Gandalf is still reading his mind, or maybe reading expressions/cues Gollum doesn't know he's giving off. Gandalf can canonically read minds though. See: Denethor.

To be honest he's doing this partly just because I thought it was funny.

The extensive timeskips here are meant to reduce the amount of time I'm spending on writing whump, by the way. There's more of that here and then Gollum is roused by Gandalf and Aragorn so they can have a little chat about... how awkward it is that Gollum saved the world and lived to tell about it.

"Dare I ask why he is still alive?" "Dear me, it was not my decision.

I'm trying to imply that the Valar cheat-coded additional hit points for Gollum because by the laws of the story the destruction of the Ring absolutely should have killed him but I need him alive for my silly little fanfiction. But without outright stating that. Because it feels a liiiiittle bit cheap.

I think there's another place ten or more chapters from now where Gandalf implies it a little more strongly.

"And if my ears or my brain have not lost their sense, I am to believe that you, you yourself, cast the Ring into the fire. And on that point I cannot see how anyone could be mistaken, for if Sam or Frodo had done it they would certainly not have given the credit to you. You did this deed." Gollum had heard the phrase 'you did this deed' before, and no one who had said it had ever been pleased with him. He recalled that Gandalf and Aragorn had had an interest in the Precious, but he could not be certain whether they had been guarding Frodo because they endorsed his mission to destroy it, or if they wanted it for themselves. One of the two big Men traveling in the elf-boats on the River had tried to take the Precious from Master at one point, he had, and Gollum couldn't really tell two tall, dark-haired, gray-eyed, fit Men apart from one another at a distance. He decided to reply with: "Don't hurt us!"

I'm trying to imply through omission of description of Aragorn's tone of voice that Gollum can't read it and is getting no information from it, or else he probably wouldn't think Aragorn is angry.

(Also, Aragorn referring to the brain as the seat of thought/sense is a little off for the time period of LOTR. I wouldn't make that choice if I were writing this now. It's a minor problem, though, I think.)

Gollum is just as confused as everyone else about the fact that he saved the world and everyone has to be nice to him now. Aragorn and Gandalf have to keep explaining it and they ask him to recount events to see if he can start figuring out what happened.

Sam saw me, he was not pleased, oh no, and he pulled Sméagol, yes he grabbed me with his big rough hands and that hurt us, it did, but I had the Precious in my handses when he pulled me, and it came away!"

I decided in the 'Gollum lives and is niceys' AU he should somehow get away with not biting off Frodo's finger because it seemed somehow mean-spirited to put Frodo in a position where he has to reconcile with the person who bit his finger off. Gollum is hard enough to get along with already.

I think the intended alternate chain of events here was: Gollum does not knock Sam out when he runs to stop Frodo claiming the Ring, because he didn't make a break from their party and doesn't have to ambush them -> Sam is awake and alert, intervenes in the fight and inadvertently helps Gollum steal the Ring while doing so -> Gollum does not have to go to the extreme of biting off Frodo's finger. Although given the force involced he probably broke Frodo's finger by doing this and everyone was too classy to tell him.

...I missed an opportunity to have Gollum bite his own finger off instead but even if it had occurred to me I probably wouldn't have done it because it would be too dark in tone to have him deal with the pain and loss of a finger for the whole rest of the fic. Gollum would be very preoccupied with that kind of injury and devote a lot of POV space to it. There would be no plausible, in-character way to get around that.

Gollum's voice dropped low again. "We could have bitten our hand off. O no! Sméagol's nice hand. I would not like that, I would starve without it, so the way I chose was better, yes, it is dreadful to starve, and it is hard to chew through wristses, it is, precious! So many little bones there, and there was no time."

Okay never mind I guess I did include at least a partial 'he could have maimed himself instead but it would have been cringe' (also, Gollum did not put the Ring on- not here, and not even in the canon version of the scene either)

"The fact remains," said Gandalf, "no matter what your reasons, you saved Frodo from an evil end, and saved many others from similar ends. Do you desire a reward?" "A reward! From Gandalf the Grey," said Gollum. "He is offering us a reward! He would have burned Sméagol in fires, he had us dragged to him on a leassh like a dog, and he called us a liar and a thief, now he wants to give us treats and presents." [There's a lot more dialog because Gollum still does not get it] Gollum heard himself speaking, though he was not aware that he had chosen to say anything. "I want to eat and drink and rest when I wish. And I do not want to wear my poor fingers to stubs with wandering, wandering and searching, wandering and searching, and hiding, and sneaking." Even to his own ears he sounded weary.

This caused me to change the whole plot of this fic later on, I'll tell you when we get there.

And that's chapter 1.

[honey-and-sims]

Good morning 🌄 In case you missed the news, I wanted to remind everyone that The Baudelaires are starting fresh. But I'd like to make note of a few things.

I have moved the old Baudelaire content to this blog for organizing purposes (still need to pick a theme and tag everything though). Their posts will still be here but I wanted to free up their tags but still make it available to read chronologically if desired. So I figured this would be the easiest way to do that.

The Baudelaires will still feature poses and whatnot. Like I'm not going to only be doing gameplay and this is still a story after all. But, unlike in the past, I'm going to try and use the game to determine the personalities, interests, hobbies, etc. and roll with some of the randomness it throws at me, and use the challenge rules to determine their fates where it calls for it.

We will be doing away with realistic aging. I went back and forth on this a ton and have decided that for the sake of gameplay, and my busy schedule, this is the easiest way for me to play and keep track of things. I also feel it won't get me sucked in too deep / heavy into exclusively posing and keep me interested in actually playing my pixels. I also really want to be able to enjoy each decade for longer and lean into tropes from the decades and feel this is the best way for me to do that.

Sadly, I'm also going to do away with telling an Irish history perspective. It was really hard to make that decision and it's still a hyper fixation of mine, but it feels like a larger project than I can handle right now. In the future, I think it could be really cool to explore that with a realistic timeline but, for now, we will put that to rest and save it for another day.

I really hope people aren't too disappointed with this choice and still feel connected to my story regardless, even if it's a bit less realistic. I'm feeling a little insecure about this decision solely for the fact most decades challenges use a realistic aging / time progression system and really like to lean into the realism aspect of it all. However, I know at the end of the day, this is supposed to be for me and this is what is best for where I'm at in life right now.

I also would like to add that I admire whatever way people choose to play their game and my decision is not a reflection of me not liking or enjoying the content that exists in this space. I adore the stories, and the dedication people have for telling a story that means something to them, regardless if they consider themselves more storytelling, gameplay or a mixture of both.

And to end on a happier note, I've been on my last vacation for the year so I have a lot in the queue and will be doing daily posts Monday - Friday, otherwise I'm going to get too far ahead of where you guys are in the story. If the queue starts to run out, I'll switch to Monday, Wednesdays, and Friday again. Baudelaires return starting on Monday morning @ 10:00 am cst! :3 Be there or be square 🫵🏻