#choices my two first loves

[playchoicesconfessions]

Sent by @cadybear420

‘I could go into paragraph upon paragraph about everything wrong with MTFL. But I think the best way I can sum it up is: It reads like PB adapted an untamed 12-year-old's Wattpad story and then hamfisted some serious themes about sexuality and race into it in order to make the story seem more "mature".’

POST/CONFESSIONS DO NOT REFLECT THE MOD’S PERSONAL OPINIONS!

[maxwell-pls]

I can’t believe MTFL chapter 63 just blue balled me 😭 can y’all just let me have Noah please

[teatimemols]

Seriously?!

[venusvega]

Okay so I just started playing My Two First Loves and I know everyone has been making memes like "when you start playing for diamonds but then spend them on Noah because he's a surprisingly good character in the book" and I like him too and everything but I first spent diamonds on Mackenzie because I feel like being a good sister is about the only redeeming quality MC has so far

[yourqueenb]

Seriously though I really wanna know who at PB thought this was anything other than ugly af

[dryslippers]

•She•

My Two First Loves • MC x Ava

So I wrote this thing weeks ago, after seeing a photo this idea just came to my mind, and I wrote it without thinking of anyone for the characters, but now I thought, what if this happened with mtfl MC and Ava? Like the boys aren’t in her life and...

Just thought maybe someone else aside from my bff who I always think is forced to read my shit because she’s my friend wanted to read my shit. I know it’s bad and shit, I know I know I fucking know.

Warnings: Idk, angst? I seriously don’t know. Eng is not my 1st language soooo... warnings for mistakes :)

Words: 1688

•••••

She was walking down the aisle,

Her arm in her father’s.

The smell of the bouquet of roses in her hand was giving her the picture of the happy future,

She loved him,

And she was sure he was her soulmate.

The roses showed her a home filled with love,

Filled with holding hands through hard times,

Filled with little “I love you”s.

She felt the joy.

She looked up,

Saw her smiling, her hand waving at her,

And all the good feelings faded away.

•••••

They were teenagers,

They were best friends.

They used to lay on her bed, their feet leaning on the wall, gossiping about the school’s boys and girls,

Gossiping about the failed relationships, the fake ones, and the real ones.

She sighed, wondering why they are still single.

Wondering if she is going to end up alone,

If she is going to take her unloved heart to the grave.

She held her hand,

Told her to stop thinking stupidly.

She told her if you don’t find anyone, I am always available.

She laughed at her,

And started talking about the movie she watched the day before.

She didn’t see that

Her friend didn’t laugh,

She just smiled.

•••••

They were teenagers,

They were still best friends.

She was feeling depressed, sitting on a bench of the park,

Holding her knees, not showing her tears to anyone,

She didn’t think,

She just put her phone out, and called her.

She waited,

10 seconds,

20 seconds,

30 seconds,

She answered,

But she had ended the phone call.

Then she listened, the answer wasn’t as close as the other side of the call,

It was even closer,

Coming from where she was sitting.

She knew she was there, putting everything out, once again.

She sat next to her,

They didn’t use the words,

They used the sights,

The touches,

The feelings.

She held her,

Telling her “I’m always available” with writing on her back,

She laughed,

But again, she wasn’t looking at her,

To see that she just smiled.

•••••

She came by her window one day,

Played a song,

And started singing out loud.

She heard her voice,

Closed her books and went by the window,

She opened it, and saw her,

Standing, wearing nice clothes,

Looking at her with a twinkle in her eyes.

She didn’t say anything,

She just listened.

The song ended,

She said to her

If you were a boy, I would have married you right now.

And laughed.

And she?

She just smiled.

•••••

They were finished with all the ups and downs of the school,

They wanted to follow their real dreams,

Together,

As they promised each other when they were younger.

They were never going to see the bitches again, or the hot guys who used to melt their hearts,

Or maybe just her heart.

And she, was scared, because she knew they were going to see each other less now,

Even if they were going to be in the same city.

Because they were going to college, and college had way too many new boys waiting to find love,

And she was waiting for love too.

She saw her in her imagination,

Holding his hand, smiling at him.

No one saw the image in her mind,

No one heard the sound of the pieces of her heart falling,

But when she looked at her, she asked,

What are you smiling at while zoning out?

•••••

The day had come.

She was going on a date.

She was nervous, not knowing if her clothes were right,

If the heels were high enough,

Or if her lipstick was red enough.

She was driving, being the one who passed her to the man of his life, as they always joked.

She filled the space between her fingers with hers,

And played a song to calm her down,

The one she sang by her window.

She remembered that day,

And laughed at how her voice was never good for singing,

Then, she turned her head to look at her.

This time she saw that,

She wasn’t laughing.

She was just smiling.

•••••

They had an exam,

But they weren’t too fool to spend this beautiful rainy night in their dorm, memorizing stupid sentences.

They went out, without an umbrella.

She hugged the rain,

Wishing he was here so she could hold him.

She wished out loud,

And her heart broke, for the thousandth time.

She told her to play a song,

A romantic one.

And what did she play?

The one she sang for her.

She heard it, and laughed again.

“Why are you so obsessed with this song?”

She turned,

Found her staring at her.

She stopped laughing.

Finally, after years, she asked her,

“Why did you sing that song for me?”

She shrugged, showing that there wasn’t an important reason.

It was obvious that she was lying.

She took her phone,

And paused the music.

She found out,

Why that night,

She wasn’t laughing, and was just smiling.

The raindrops on her face,

Made her look like an angel.

Or maybe,

She always looked like an angel,

And she was too blind to see her wings.

Still, she was blind,

Because she didn’t see her tears having a race with the raindrops.

She put her hands on her arms,

Looking at her in silence,

Feeling what she had to feel years ago.

She didn’t hesitate this time,

She cupped her wet face in her hands,

And let the drops on their lips meet each other.

She kissed her,

After years of hesitation.

She wasn’t kissing her back,

But she wasn’t pushing her away either.

They stood there,

Under the pouring rain,

Under the gift of God,

Loving each other.

She never stopped gazing at her,

She told her,

I love you.

She didn’t laugh this time,

She smiled.

She felt it,

Felt the thing that was there for years,

She knew she was stupid,

She knew she loved her too.

But, she put space between them.

She shook her head.

She showed her the ring.

Yes, they both knew,

This was never going to happen.

It was too late to happen.

She was getting married in a few months,

And she couldn’t doubt her love for him now,

After promising to give him a life full of beautiful moments.

She had to give up on her,

She had to found her own soulmate.

But she knew her soulmate wasn’t waiting for her,

Cause she was some one else’s,

And she didn’t have a chance to have her.

They went back to their dorm,

Turning the lights on to find a walkable way among all the books on the floor,

And after that, she turned them off again.

They laid on their beds,

A small distance between them.

Their eyes weren’t used to the darkness,

But even then,

In the darkness,

With all the blindness,

They could see each other faces.

None of them were smiling,

They both were crying,

For the love that could make them laugh everyday,

Make them hopeful everyday,

And make the days brighter everyday.

They were crying,

For the love that was worth spending mornings and nights for,

For the love that was finished,

Before it even could be started.

•••••

She was still walking down the aisle,

When the feelings faded away,

And the ones she experienced with her filled her heart.

The mornings they talked about literally everything so they could forget the stress they had for an exam.

The evenings they went to different cafés and had only a piece of cake, because they couldn’t ask their dads to give them more money.

The nights they spent 5 hours watching a 2 hour long movie, cause they couldn’t stop laughing at the scenes,

Disagreeing on the character’s doings,

And crying over the love scenes.

The sight in front of her eyes was filled with all the memories they made together,

All the lies they told their teachers, and decided to become actors if they weren’t going to be successful in college.

All the nights they snuck out to the park, and ate ice cream while shivering after feeling the freezing cold winds.

All the fights they had over stupid things, and the way they acted after that like they didn’t care, but they were both dying inside to talk to each other again.

Her ears were filled with the melody of that song,

Of their song.

They were filled with her voice,

The voice that was awful, not following the rhythm at all,

The voice that always made her feel better, after listening to just the 52 seconds she had time to record.

Her lips were filled with the taste of her lipstick.

The one she loved and used the most.

The one she had worn on that night.

On that magical rainy night, when she felt the love she had for her.

But as she said, it was too late.

She looked up and saw him,

He was holding back tears of joy.

With that, she fell in love with him once more,

And got sure that he is the one for her.

She took the left steps,

Stood in front of him,

He told her she looks beautiful.

She smiled and took his hands.

She looked happy,

But no one knew that she was trying to find the same feeling she felt that night, this time for him,

But the only thing she could feel,

Was for her.

She was trying so hard,

She didn’t want to accept that her love for him wasn’t there.

She never heard what the old man said,

She never heard the “I do” of the man she loves, something that she always dreamed of as a little girl.

She only heard this last sentence,

“Do you take this man to be your husband?”

She came back to the world,

To the church,

To where she was standing,

To when she was going to feel love the most.

She said “I do.”

But who did she say it to?

The man whose hands she was holding,

Or the girl whose eyes she was admiring?

[lahelafam]

y'all do know the term 'wlw' includes bisexual women, right?

[denicienta1]

Choices: My Two First Loves (Ch. 100) 💎|All Diamond|💎

[ethoeramsey]

Love that I didn’t have to pay diamonds for a pretty prom 😌

[playchoicesconfessions]

Sent by anonymous

‘My Two First Loves would be a lot less hated by the fandom if Noah and Mason had been gender of choice. It could have been done - just make their sport basketball instead of football. You wouldn’t even have needed the awkwardly shoehorned-in Ava then.’

POST/CONFESSIONS DO NOT REFLECT THE MOD’S PERSONAL OPINIONS!

[annashreya]

🥰

[teatimemols]

I would never put my kid through a snowstorm for the sake of a narcissist wtf

[princepotatosack]

WAIT im seeing screenshots of masons corsage...... bitch isnt that the same one everyone in lovehacks kept making fun of for being super fucking ugly??? omfg

[yourqueenb]

This is god ugly 😷

And this would’ve been better if it wasn’t so ill-fitting and blue

[trashychoices]

Not exactly Choices related but I was catching up on MTFL and I remembered this.

Why are adult writers so obsessed with prom??? (Or high school in general but that's a whole post in itself) Is it an american thing?? I have never met anyone who was excited for prom or who called it "the most important/magical/etc night of high school". The people that I know have been somewhere on the mildly inconvenienced to mildly looking forward to it spectrum. It's just a night where you dress up all fancy and dance with your friends, it's really not that big a deal.

Also in America kids can't even technically drink at prom??? Like my prom had an open bar and not even that got people super excited. Or maybe it did, I wouldn't know. Still my point stands: what would people even be looking forward to so badly? Dressing fancy? I mean I guess. Dancing with your friends? Just go to a club or smth.

Not shitting on people who were/are excited for prom, like go off, enjoy things, live your best life.

I know I'm not the only one thinking this but I kinda just needed to get it off my chest. And if you are someone who is/was genuinely looking forward to prom and find this writing of prom anticipation relatable please do share your experience, I'm very curious.

[choicest]

Noah Harris is finally with us!! We're finally official!!