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The Eternal Library: a Romantasy Retelling IF (WIP)
What if Cinderella and the prince grew up together?
What if the king was the evil one?
What if the missing piece wasn’t a glass slipper, but ancient memories buried in your soul?
Fight for forbidden love in a cruel kingdom and forge alliances with the heir to the crown.
Buried beneath the sprawling castle at the heart of Minare is a room most think is legend: the Library of Souls. As a member of the royal cleaning staff—and one with Fae-blood—sneaking into the Eternal Library is a dangerous idea, but you risk it for a ritual that gives you the skills of your warrior ancestor and a mission that spans lifetimes.
Destiny calls your warrior spirit to wake.
Assassins are infiltrating the castle.
The kingdom is ripe for change, and it needs your help.
Your soul has waited lifetimes for the chance to put things right.
Now, it’s time.
Play as male, female, or nonbinary; gay, straight, bi; asexual; monogamous or polyamorous.
Romance or befriend a scholarly prince, a down-to-earth princess, a scarred soldier, a soft-spoken spy, a sweet-hearted maid, or a Fae warrior-mage. 3 male and 3 female ROs: Romance character descriptions.
This is a SLOW BURN ROMANCE. Optional explicit scenes will be offered at the end of the game, but it’ll be a while before we get to those. Enjoy the secret glances and deep yearning until then. ❤️
This is a standalone story set in the same world as Their Majesties’ Pleasure and Ink and Intrigue. You do not need to have played either of those games to enjoy this one.
Public demo wordcount: 95,000 Patreon demo wordcount: 95,000 (update coming soon!)
Play the ETERNAL LIBRARY DEMO for Free!
Join the conversation on the CoG forum thread.
Subscribe to my Patreon for bonus scenes, worldbuilding secrets, and early access to demo updates! 👑
#the eternal library#fantasy#romance#if wip#hosted games#forbidden love#interactive fiction#choice of games#if demo#romantasy retelling#this is just the beginning
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hoptal
#library of ruina#yesod lor#yesod#netzach lor#netzach#PRETEND ITS THE 14TH FOR ME OKAY!! god this thing made me feel so tired but its over. its over. am i happy w it? no.#ahhhghg the dialog is subpar. you can see visibly where i started and stopped some days. yk what. its. done.#ill do a whole different reblog from the sideblog on just ramblings of getting through it plus choices made. tldr aroace and harder to writ#romance that feels genuine. either way its done!! i was going to have it not as detailed but since i already missed the date by a lot might#as well put more effort into it yk. the last one made me want to die though. its really iffy compaired to the others . struggled so hard to#make it look right. ended up just going w one of the other previous sketches and just giving up and shading it in. i dobnot gaf it can look#weird but be done. HUZZAH!!!#ohbright forgot#netsod#probablt will do the text reblog abouuutt ???? 2 hours after og goes up. just to properly format it and collect thoughts and write#to who ever sent that anonymous ask. hope u like it. sorry it took so long#if this isnt in order i will melt into the floor and be consumed into the earth. PLEASEPELASPELASPLEASE#i onow i will make a seperate post abt it. but also. still just very. eh? i wanted to try and be true to what i had originally come to enjoy#with lor. but also i know im not capable of replicating such aspects and works and craftsmanship. but i still want to keep to what i can or#try to express facets that drew me into it all. which makes me a bit skittish abt writing dialog or drawing them in any other situation that#isnt just like. white void or the like. but still... .. .. . ahgh. skittish and overthinking. i cant tell what is attempting to handle with#adoration and care and what is just being overly terrified of having words or intent misconstrued#rechecking and rechecking and rechecking and .. . .. ect ect. i cannot look at it lest i explode
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if I asked very nicely would you all be willing to take a one minute anonymous survey for my linguistics class. if the answer is yes, please click here. thanks :)
(sharing for a better response size would also be very appreciated)
#linguistics#quil's unholy underworld#i have no clue how to tag this#it is quite literally 2 multiple choice questions#keeping it real simple#it's a required project in an intro class#we didn't even get to choose the topic#anyway#it's less important the results#it's intended to teach us the scientific method in practice#which I have done. like 5 times now in different classes it feels#i literally studied the demographic of the library by age an entire summer once#anyway. here's hoping this is worded and structured well enough to do what I need it to#take my survey boy#please
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This is how you drive an entire discord server insane
#sages food choices are from another dimension I think -mod sky#sagethegremlin#out of context discord#sonic library
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you bet your ass Starscream was still a menace to society even before the civil war and Skyfire, owner of their only functioning megabyte, somehow kept finding himself with the same expanding criminal record as Starscream.
#transformers#maccadam#starscream#skyfire#jetfire#tf starscream#tf skyfire#tf jetfire#skystar#(Many centuries in the future) Optimus: Skyfire I was checking the database and I wanted to know... why are you banned from 17 libraries?#Skyfire: *Sweating* I-I can explain-#Skyfire is questioning all his life choices#Starscream captioning this exact image with:#when me and the bestie hit the town UwU#Bone-ified ArtTag
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no one’s ever had me (not like you) - anthony lockwood x reader
A day in the life of dating Anthony Lockwood



“Tell me about the first time you saw me.”
“Again?”
She nodded, drawing the blanket up to her chin as she pressed herself flush against his side as if any distance between them was simply too much. His arm settled comfortably across her shoulders, his fingers lazily tracing shapes on her skin, just underneath her sleeve. There was quiet, for a moment, as they took a second to just breathe together.
“Hmm. Let’s see. It was…November, was it?”
She gave him a playful dig in the ribs. “May, as you perfectly well know.”
“Ah, yes. May. Spring. The flowers smelled lovely.�� He dipped his head, briefly pressing his lips against her skittering pulse, murmuring against the warm skin of her throat. “Or maybe it was you, smelling so sweet.”
a/n - the gif is only a tad bit misleading but I just feel like it fits the vibes so well 🥰🥰 this so high school fic was rlly very importu I thought it would just be a snippet hehehe but enjoy some cosy fluffy vibes! As always disclaimer this is a slightly aged up lockwood
tropes/warnings - domestic sillyness, fluff fluff fluff, one veryyy mild description of physical intimacy
word count - 2.1k!
MASTERLIST | TAGLIST
By the time they had arrived at the site of the psychical investigation, Lockwood was well aware that they were rather late. Still, he was sure that they had made it just in time to meet a special someone. He anxiously weeded through the crowds of agents milling about. She couldn’t have left before they arrived, could she?
His answer came in the form of two very cold (due to poor circulation, as Lockwood was well aware of) hands covering his eyes from behind. “Guess who.”
“The world’s worst serial killer?”
The hands slipped away as he turned, coming face to face with a familiar grin.
“Close.”
Lockwood pulled her into a hug, the first after far too long. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her cheek against his. “You’re late.”
His arms tightened around her, and she squeezed back just as hard. His voice came out exaggeratedly pained. “You’re always pointing out my flaws.”
“What I mean is, you’re very late. I have to go now.”
He sucked in a breath sharply and his hold loosened as he pulled away to look at her face, a dismayed expression marring his features. “Already? I just got here.”
She glanced at her wristwatch. “I was supposed to have left five minutes ago, actually. One of the benefits of punctuality, you might find, is spending more time with your intelligent, highly capable, and hence increasingly busy, g-“
“I’ll come earlier tomorrow,” Lockwood promised earnestly.
She snorted. “Lockwood, you’ve never been on time a day in your life.”
“What about dinner on Friday?” He asked desperately. “Did your time off get approved?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry.” Lockwood was starting to look majorly ticked off.
“This is ridiculous. Disrespectful, even. They work you like a dog, pay you peanuts, refuse to let you off for oneni-“
She tugged at the lapels of his coat until his forehead was touching hers. They only had seconds before she would be really too late, and she didn’t want to waste them arguing. Lockwood sighed wearily as his anger dissipated, loosely holding one of her wrists.
“You’re adorable when you’re worked up,” she started, once he looked sufficiently cooled off. He grudgingly pulled back to meet her gaze, distractedly running a thumb along her vein. She made to leave, but Lockwood refused to let go of her wrist, reeling her in one more time.
“Are you sure you still can’t sneak off?” He whispered. “George’s making ghormeh sabzi.”
She shook her head. “It’s field work. Can’t get out of it.”
“He’s going to be very upset when he hears that. He’s been looking forward to feeding you ghormeh sabzi all week, and he’s a busy man.”
She had a feeling he wasn’t talking about George anymore. She tiptoed as she kissed Lockwood’s nose in apology before he reluctantly let her slip away. She waved at his associates standing a short distance away.
“Bye, Luce. Bye, George. Goodbye, Lockwood.” From the look on his face, she just knew he was going to be melodramatic about this.
“You’re breaking his heart, Y/N!”
Later that week, Lockwood found her in the kitchen with Lucy and Holly, pouring over some paperwork while they enjoyed an afternoon snack. As preoccupied as he was, he didn’t miss the way her eyes lit up as he walked in, not immune to a giddy pulse of surprise himself.
“Hey.”
Lockwood gave a vague sound of acknowledgement, pressing a hurried kiss to the top of her head.
“H’llo. Can’t stay long, I’m afraid,” he said, whisking around the kitchen for a snack, before finally settling for one of the jammy dodgers on the counter. He peered over Lucy’s shoulder, trying to figure out Y/N’s writing upside down.
“What’s that you got there?”
She gave him a wan smile. “Oh, nothing. Just some case reports I need to finish up.”
“Need any help?” Lockwood asked, straightening. “I do those all the time.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine. I’ve been doing these since I was a kid.”
Lockwood paused mid-chew, a thin layer of icing sugar dusting his lips. “No, you haven’t. I was the one who taught you how to fill out those forms, remember? When we first started talking?”
It had been a pretty crucial element in their getting-to-know-each-other phase, in fact. It helped her get her paperwork done correctly and on time, and it gave Lockwood the chance to chat with the pretty agent who glanced his way more often than normal. Now, however, he was feeling none of those warm and bubbly feelings he had come to associate with Y/N, as Lucy and Holly exchanged a meaningful look across the table.
“Hey, hey. What’s going on?”
Y/N busied herself with her forms, mumbling under her breath. Holly shot him a sympathetic look.
“Oh, Lockwood. I thought you knew by now.”
His eyes darted around, stupefied. “Knew what?”
“I knew he didn’t know,” Lucy offered, “for the record.”
“Luce…” Holly looked disapproving.
“It was bloody hilarious. Still is, actually.”
“Will someone tell me,” Lockwood demanded, only somewhat hysterically, “what the hell it is that I’m supposed to know?”
“Lockwood,” she started, awkwardly, “you can’t seriously believe anyone would hire an agent who couldn’t do up a simple case report.”
He looked so crestfallen it was almost funny. He blinked slowly, stunned, as he struggled with his words.
“So…so you let me -?”
“Yes.”
“Even though -“
“Exactly. Speaking of, you’re not very good at writing case reports. I see why you have George do them.”
Lucy choked on her tea badly and Holly started thumping her back. Lockwood took on a very faint tinge of pink, though he pressed on.
“But why?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I liked hearing your voice. Even if it was just you doing a poor job of explaining how to write case reports.”
He looked as though he didn’t quite know what to say to that. She didn’t know either.
“Lockwood,” interrupted Holly, sounding highly peeved between Lucy’s choking and his cluelessness, “I thought you were meeting the Smiths tonight.”
Lockwood’s eyes flicked to the clock near the stove and swore. He nearly pulled a muscle as he tripped over himself rushing out, a hurried goodbye yelled over his shoulder. She watched him run off with an odd wistfulness. In some other life, he spends the rest of the evening with her, laughing, talking, giving her hell for her underhanded flirting tactics. In some other life, they have time for each other.
“You came.”
When Anthony Lockwood opened 35 Portland Row’s front door to someone incessantly knocking on a chilly Friday night, she was the last person he expected to see. A smile cracked across his face as he swept her up into a half-incredulous hug, his cold nose pressed against her jaw.
When they disentangled themselves from each other, she could see his eyes shining with that special kind of joy that made her eyes hurt. “Don’t get too excited, now. I got a friend to cover for me tonight but I’ll be in hellish amounts of trouble if anyone finds out I’m gone.”
As they normally did on the rare occasions they were free to spend together, the two of them wandered around joined at the hip for the entire night. Holly, Kipps and the skull had been invited for a movie night in the library, the latter having been thoroughly threatened into behaving somewhat acceptably.
Perhaps the threats would have been better directed at her and Lockwood, though. When they weren’t being very loudly told off for whispering and snickering through the movie (Kipps took his cinematic experiences quite seriously), it was for hogging the popcorn bowl (it was Lockwood’s fault, she’d maintain) or for behaving like an overall nuisance.
Once the movie finished, they decided to end the night with a game of Scrabble. Given that Lockwood was already starting to nod off, the two of them decided to preside over the game from where they were curled up in an armchair. Eventually, the players called it quits once George and Kipps started yelling abuse at each other over whether or not “klaqi” was a word.
“Go to bed, you two,” Lucy called out as she crept up towards the attic, the rest of them having turned into their respective rooms and guest rooms. Lockwood yawned, lifting his head from where it had been resting in her shoulder.
“Well. You heard her.”
“Oh, come on. I just got here,” she said, in an amusing mimicry of Lockwood’s words earlier that week. Finally, finally, they had a few moments to themselves, and all he wanted to do was doze off. She had half a mind to shake him awake. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Five more minutes?”
Lockwood made an exaggerated show of listening to Lucy’s footsteps as the attic door creaked close. A small smile tugged at his lips as he forced his eyes open. “Five, and that’s it.”
She grinned. “Have I mentioned that my boyfriend is the best person in the whole entire world?”
He rolled his eyes, grumbling. “Yeah, well, don’t think I’ve forgotten about the whole case report lie.” His eyes roamed her face as he softly brushed an eyelash away. “I let you get away with far too much,” he mumbled.
She impatiently brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, drinking in the sight of his bedroom eyes. “Tell me about the first time you saw me.”
“Again?”
She nodded, drawing the blanket up to her chin as she pressed herself flush against his side as if any distance between them was simply too much. His arm settled comfortably across her shoulders, his fingers lazily tracing shapes on her skin, just underneath her sleeve. There was quiet, for a moment, as they took a second to just breathe together.
“Hmm. Let’s see. It was…November, was it?”
She gave him a playful dig in the ribs. “May, as you perfectly well know.”
“Ah, yes. May. Spring. The flowers smelled lovely.” He dipped his head, briefly pressing his lips against her skittering pulse, murmuring against the warm skin of her throat. “Or maybe it was you, smelling so sweet.”
She felt her cheeks warm and she turned to bury her face into his shirt. “Shut up,” she whispered not-very-wittily. She felt him smile against her neck before looking up once again, his brow furrowing as he tried to sort through his sleep-fuddled memory.
“So. It was May. You were standing there with your shoelaces untied…wearing a freshly singed jacket. You had this terrible - and I mean terrible - scowl on your face, ‘cause you were getting chewed out by your supervisor,” Lockwood teased as she playfully narrowed her eyes at him. “You looked like you were going to set him on fire next. And all I remember thinking was,” Lockwood threaded the fingers of his other hand into one of hers, “was that I was looking at the prettiest girl in London and that I wanted to talk to her, but I hadn’t the faintest idea how or when.”
She couldn’t help it - her heart skipped a beat every time she heard those words. It fascinated her to no end how someone could love as openly and unabashedly as Lockwood.
“So aren’t you glad about the whole case report lie?”
He threw his head back in a bark of laughter and she watched him carefully, the dim light of the fireplace softening him into something delightfully easy on the eyes. “Yes. I’m very glad about the case report lie.” He raised their interlocked hands and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “I’m very glad I got to meet you, in case there was ever any doubt.”
They lapsed into a cosy silence, the exhaustion they were holding at bay finally getting the better of them. She felt her eyelids grow heavier as the crackle of the fire’s dying embers lulled them to sleep, Lockwood’s chest feeling wonderfully solid beneath her head.
“You’re sure it was May?”
She peeled her eyes open and, with considerable effort, shifted closer. “I couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to.” She looked up at Lockwood’s face. His eyes were still closed, and with his slow, measured breathing, he looked fast asleep. “Why?”
His words came out in barely a flutter of breath, easy to miss if she didn’t have his heart thumping right below her ear.
“Could have sworn…I’ve known you forever.”
That night, she slept next to the one person who made her feel so young, so sprightly, so pervious to joy and heartbreak. So full of life and so ready to love. So high school, even.
TAGLIST: @neewtmas @midnight--raine @ahead-fullofdreams @how-to-stuff-and-things @cielooci @mohinithoughts @snoopyluver20 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @elenianag080 @avdiobliss @houseoftwistedspirits @mischivana @dangelnleif @mitskiswift99
#I had to choose btw writing a spin-the-bottle scene or the curling-up-in-the-library scene and I think I made the right choice :))#anthony lockwood#lockwood x you#lockwood x reader#lockwood x y/n#anthony lockwood imagine#anthony lockwood x reader
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“i have the everlasting tendency to ruin everything i love.”
—fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky's 'i am an observer, but not by choice.'
#fatima aamer bilal#moony moonless sky’s#i am an observer but not by choice#bookblr#books & libraries#books and literature#books and reading#books#beautiful quote#dark acadamia quotes#academia#classic lit quotes#classic literature#tw self destruction#dark acamedia#dark academic aesthetic#classic academia#literature academia#academic#dark acadamia aesthetic#dark academia#academia aesthetic#lonliness#self destruction#tw self destructive behavior#tw sh destructive behaviour#tw self destructive thoughts#self destructive tendencies#lonliest#chronic loneliness
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
If you sometimes come across the term “banned books” but don’t really know what it means, here’s a simple little introduction to the topic:
“Banned books” refers to books that have been censored or removed from libraries, schools, or bookstores due to objections from certain groups or individuals.
When we read that definition, I think a really common and understandable response is: „whoa, okay, these must be really bad books full of dangerous ideas!“… and in some way, that’s true.
Because, you see, to someone with a homophobic worldview, any book with a gay character is really bad and dangerous. And to a child abuser, any book that educates children on consent is really bad and dangerous.
Among the top reasons for book bans are lgbt+ content, sexual content (including sexual education or education on sexual abuse), themes of racism and themes like drug use or addiction. Over the years, many books with significant cultural and educational value have faced bans - and this continues to be an issue all around the world, including in the US.
When books are banned, it restricts the access to information people (including kids and teenagers) need to understand themselves and others. This negatively affects queer people and other marginalized groups (for example people of color or disabled people) but it also impacts everyone else. Diversity in literature enriches our understanding of the diversity of real life. It helps to build empathy, compassion, kindness and understanding. Access to different stories and viewpoints is vital for an inclusive society.
Censoring queer books in particular also normalizes the message that queer experiences are inappropriate or “dirty” - which, again, is really beneficial to homophobes and transphobes. If it feels safe for them to say that queer books harm children, it paves the way for all other kinds of discrimination and harassment of queer people.
Now you may think “this all makes sense when it comes to books with gay characters! But didn’t you also mention stuff like sexual abuse and addiction and racism up there? These are indeed bad and dangerous things!”
I think this is another really common thought. These things happen in real life and it can be uncomfortable to even think about them. But that’s precisely why we need books about those “uncomfortable” topics!
We may not like the idea that a child hears about racism or abuse - but in a world where kids can experience racism and abuse, they also need to be able to read about racism and abuse. They need to be able to say “this is what’s happening to me and this is not okay”. We need to be able to name bad things when they happen to us or when we witness them happening to others. We need an understanding of and a language for bad things. That’s the only way to fight the bad things.
Another thought you may have is “Okay, and now what? I don’t have the power to do anything about all this anyway”, and honestly I wouldn’t blame you for that one either. Hearing about book bans (on top of all the other negative stuff we hear about) can feel really depressing. But there are things you can do to push back and help keep diverse stories accessible - even if you are young or have limited resources!
Some ideas:
use your public library (many public libraries actively resist censorship and make banned books available!)
use a digital library (services like Libby and Project Gutenberg offer free access to many books)
look out for online petitions or letter-writing campaigns by organizations that oppose book bans (for example PEN in America)
look up if there are any “little free libraries” in your area (free book-sharing box operating on the honor system: anyone can take or leave a book for no cost)
look up if there are any book swapping events in your area
take part in reading groups, book clubs etc. (either in person or online)
And of course the big one: if you can afford to buy books - make a point to buy banned books (or more generally, queer books and books from marginalized authors and books on topics that frequently get banned)! As a starting point, you can find lists of banned books online. Wikipedia has one, for example.
If you have a bigger budget, you could even buy multiple copies and put some in your local “little free library” or bring them to book-swapping events or gift them to friends etc! (You could also ask your local public library (or school library or prison library or youth center or women’s shelter etc) if they take book donations, but you may want to hold off on buying before they say yes - not all of them can accept donations!).
Happy reading and resisting!
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
#lgbt#lgbt+#While writing this I thought about mentioning my books in it but it felt really inauthentic to use this serious topic to market my own book#So instead I’ll just put it in the tags here#My book Letters To The LGBT Community is an educational book on queer themes and would be a great choice for a little free library#In my humble and totally unbiased opinion
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I do think it's extremely funny that we actually got more implied-canon than I expected in some ways ("you'll always be master to me", that entire bit about the cameras being off, in the coffin together, the human AU obviously, ETA I FORGOT the vampires shipping Gigi and the crew member who looks like Nandor)
and I'm like "yes, obviously there are a million chances for someone to spin off their first kiss, but what about the disrespect of the character arc on the piss and fuck show"
#wwdits#nandermo#what we do in the shadows#if you gave me a choice between a five minute makeout in the coffin#and a freeze frame that said 'Guillermo got a job in the council library & got immortal from drinking witch potions they still fight crime'#i would pick the second one#and not to be that guy but I'd be correct
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DEMO UPDATE AND PROGRESS REPORT:
Can you believe it’s already the end of January? As promised, the public demo of The Eternal Library has been updated to include all of chapter three (now over 65,000 words).
I’m nearly finished with the first draft of chapter four, which will go out to Patreon subscribers for early access once I’ve had a chance to do a read-through and polish it up a bit. I’m hoping to have that ready in a week or so.
I’ve been feeling the ebb and flow of energy this month. As we get into the deep winter up here in Canada, my body craves extra sleep. My days are full and my family is my priority, so some days I have time for writing and other days I do not. I have to give myself permission to rest, recharge, and get outside for walks with my dog. Down time helps provide the kind of inspiration and endurance it takes to write a project like this.
My guess is chapter four will be around 25k words (currently 23k). That would take the WIP to 90,000 words, and I feel like I’ve barely started telling the story. It’s possible this might be my longest IF novel yet. Their Majesties’ Pleasure is over 225k words and Ink and Intrigue is over 350k.
I started working on this project less than four months ago and the WIP is already nearing 90k words. I’m pretty impressed with that! As the story and variables get more complicated progress may be a bit slower, but I’ll keep marching steadily onward.
A week or so ago it occurred to me that I’m going to have to write two versions of chapter five. There will be a major branch split at the end of chapter four, offering one adventure or another before the storyline comes back together in chapter six. I’m both excited and apprehensive about how much work it will involve, but I’m quite sure it will be worth it!
Play the demo of The Eternal Library for free!
#interactive fiction#fantasy#romance#fae#hosted games#choice of games#interactive novel#the eternal library#demo update
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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Was inspired by @textbookchoices's recent ask to do a re-read of Resonant for the first time in months, and aside from enjoying the hell out of it, I'm finding some tiny inconsistencies to fix, so it's been productive, too!
#mostly names (maester swiften got renamed to maester somnal at some point)#also a few layout choices (the library where jon has his valyrian lessons should be outside the holdfast but is within in earlier chapters)#also goddamn i do make daemon feel all the emotions don't i?#this poor man has not had a stress-free moment
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it's so much fun to me to see how Jacob and Assad approach their respective character playlists bc you've got Jacob literally using the 'copy to new playlist' option from his private library (and ik bc that's the only way all of those songs from all those artists will be added at the exact same time. for cohesiveness) slapping an image on that bad boy and releasing it into the world meanwhile Assad's like hmmm. i add these songs. i come back and add new ones. ooooh look here's another. finally i will make this public no image just the autogenerated cover made from the album art of the first four unique tracks you are actively seeing the process. let the 'date added' label seduce you this is what makes you fascinating
#tv: interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire#jacob anderson#assad zaman#best part to me is that 1. my library is a mix of both methods and 2. their taste is unrivaled and i recognize at least a good third#of underrated artists on their mixes. God is good to me amen#i need to talk to Assad about the Imarhan choices tho................. i need to pick his brain bc those songs specifically. hmmm
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The amount of fics I want to re-read, the amount of fics I want to finish reading, and the amount of fics I want to start reading is very impractical atm
#i dont have time for this#there are so many things to read😭#and thats not even including the 5 actual books i got in birthday present that i ALSO want to read#and all the books from my school library i want to borrow#I used to not like reading when i was younger wtf happened#sad fanfiction#fanfiction#ao3#choices#art heist baby#crimson rivers#all the young dudes#jegulus#wolfstar#dorlene#marylily#dead gay wizards from the 70s#dead gay wizards#regulus black#james potter#the marauders era#remus lupin#sirius black#peter pettigrew
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I knew judaism was perfect for me because I'm a person who actually reads to myself in a whisper, even when I'm reading for leisure. People used to stare at me because of how I read (I don't read out loud, but I read to myself with the same volume a person has when we're all davening at shul)
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#even if i'm not actually *whispering* what i am reading i'm mouthing it#i do not know when i learned this or where i learned this or how i learned this but i have done it since i was a small child#and i have never seen others do it until i went to shul#one super clear memory i have is reading at the library and somebody just STARED at me for doing it. i was so embarrassed#i hate how your embarrassing memories are the ones that stick out most. i think i was like... seven when that happenec#and it's one of the *few* memories i have from that entire *period* of childhood 😭
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my GOD I love science. i love chemistry. i love medicine. i love my life
#so happy to have made the choices I have#even if somehow something changes I never want this love for science & learning beaten out of me#no matter what I always want to treasure everything I’ve learned#one day I will be 70 at the library hunched over a book w lip gloss on bc the pursuit of knowledge never ends#and we are so fortunate for that#p
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