#chloe beale forever has my heart

[dailybrittanysnowpics]

Sunday serotonin 🌹❤️

[143bc]

It was pointed out that I had glaring omission to yesterday’s PP3 bloopers post. I cannot apologize enough. She deserves her own post because…well, she’s Chloe freaking Beale ❤️🌹🔥

[godzillachloe]

Happy birthday to my hero Brittany Snow! With out her there would be no Chloe or BeChloe. She also has store my heart in other great movies like Dial A prayer, Hangman, Bushwick, Someone Great and John Tucker Must Die. Wherever she is I hope she has a great day and I can’t wait to see what she does next 🥰❤️💙

[pinkpastels113]

from the chloe’s help

just another one of those “chloe beale would totally...” drabble moments, nothing to see here, move along…

(no but seriously this took forever to write and i kinda liked it, plus it was a distraction piece for me to get back into the roll for my fandom drive assignment so please let me know what you think? sjhgdjks)

-----

Nobody has ever said that Beca would be an exception to the pressures of everyday life, but still, she believed. Nobody has ever said that Beca would be the spared tree in a land picked for deforestation, but still, she believed.

Beca believed so hard in fact that sometimes she would be surprised when she would break down a week after a stressful event. It would be a perfectly normal afternoon, she would be making (a late) breakfast, and she would break down. Out of nothing; thin air, because the pressure had been the week before. 

Beca puts the knife down, leaving the avocado open on the cutting board. She sniffles, surprised at the wetness suddenly coating her eyes, and goes over to sit numbly on the living room couch.

She isn’t good enough, she will never be good enough.

Beca buries her head in her hands. Her mind spirals itself into tight circles, curling and uncurling from the ring that was conveniently formed. The voices start to pick at her sides, crawling into the dark insecurity, and Beca thinks she might just implode.

She isn’t strong enough, she will never be strong enough.

Beca blinks, her vision starting to blur vapidly into a smudged window. Her fingers are like blinds, she is peeking unseeingly through them, and it is like she is both the rain and the person looking through the rain as her tears blot her comprehension of the outside world. 

Whoever said she was ever important?

Someone sits down next to her. Beca can feel the cushion shift, but still she doesn’t move. She tells herself that she doesn’t care, not one bit, not one person not one thing not one career at all even as her heart aches for the claim otherwise.

“Beca.”

Beca feels her breath stutter. Someone envelops her up into their arms, disrupting her balance, and she crumples fast into their warmth. Her hands go from her eyes to wrapping around that person’s waist, and she sniffles instead into their shoulder. 

Chloe’s shampoo fills Beca’s airflow, suffocating her with the affection and love and kindness that only she seems to give. It is only then that Beca breathes what feels like the most unadulterated breath for weeks, maybe even months.

“Do you still feel I’m good enough?”

Chloe’s attention goes to Beca’s hair, caressing it, kissing it. She strokes each individual curl like it’s a delicate petal and Beca feels like she really can just drift away. 

She repeats what she always says when this happens, when Beca is so unsure of herself that she physically needs someone there to substantially lift her up.

“You is kind, you is smart, you is important. You are beautiful, Bec, and I will always be here to make sure that you know you are good enough.”

Beca hiccups, wiping her nose on the fold of Chloe’s collar. Her arms tighten around her anchor in the event that it might disappear. 

“Really?” Beca lifts her head to stare blurrily into Chloe’s eyes. She absolutely needs to know. The true, complete, honest, answer. “Do you really believe that?”

Chloe kisses the top of Beca’s forehead. Then her nose. Then her mouth. Beca couldn’t contain the smile that spreads across her face when she presses her lips there. 

“Yeah, I do.”

Chloe carefully pushes them forward, so that Beca can lean on her back against the soft couch cushions. The afternoon light filters in through the window that Beca is glad they didn’t get the curtains for to play with the fire that is Chloe’s hair. Chloe brushes away the remainder of Beca’s breakdown with the pad of her thumb. The actually tangible ring on her left hand tingles the skin of Beca’s cheek with its temperature but it only creates the opposite effect, seeing as Beca can already feel herself heating up.

“Chloe-” She swallows, waits. Beca knows that Chloe knows what she wants Chloe to say, and she wants her to say it.

She needs it, like her heart needs blood and air for it to survive.

“Yes, Beca, I think you are worthy of the love that you give and that I have to give for you. I would never lie to you. Well-” Chloe’s freckles scrunch adorably at the thoughtful amendment she is about to make, “Maybe over what time it is so that you would get out of bed, but only for about ten minutes or so.” She laughs heartily at Beca’s scandalized gasp, sobering up eventually by a nuzzle into Beca’s neck. 

The finishing touches are a whisper into Beca’s collarbone, but the seriousness of it and the implications of its promises are what provides her with the life jacket for Beca to go on,

“But no, I would never lie to you about anything like that.”

-----

fin.

[becaeffinmitchell]

Fic: what i have (is who i carry home) (1/1)

Summary: Chloe, as it turns out, loves Valentine's Day.

Of course she does. Beca can't say she's surprised in the least.

aka, five Valentine's Days Beca Mitchell's had.

Note: After ten thousand years, I’m free! Or, you know, after eight years, I’m finally posting my first Bechloe fic. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone 🥰  Gif credit goes entirely to @evenstars​ (thank you so much again!)

Words: 4,954

Read below or on AO3!

--------

i. 2012, Freshman Year, Barden University

There are so many other things Beca would rather be doing.

Like go to the dentist. Actually show up for class. Spend time over dinner with her dad and the step-monster.

Okay, maybe not that last one. Nothing in the world would make her choose that.

But here she is, in that stupid red hoodie, holding that stupid bow and arrow, standing in front of people, refusing to sing that stupid song with Amy.

*

 Later, back at the auditorium where they have Bellas practice, Aubrey's voice is shrill and loud. (As always, Beca thinks.)

"Beca, you really need to be picking up the slack. We need every dollar that we can raise so that we have enough to cover our journey to the semi-finals, and you're dead last in our fundraiser right now."

Amy mutters something under her breath, soft enough for Beca to hear something about — the bus? The Trebles? She doesn't really know. Whatever it is, it's not something she wants to get in the middle of.

"Maybe we can think of something new to do." Beca's tone is dry, and she schools her expression into something neutral on her face, her head tilted slightly, knowing that Aubrey has to know she isn't just talking about the fundraising activity.

It's just — she can feel the potential of these girls, okay? And it's such a shame that they're stuck doing the same three songs, over and over. If she could at least try, show them her arrangements, maybe they'd have a fighting chance.

"I have the pitch pipe, and I say we do this exactly how we have been doing it."

Beca is about to say something snarky, something she knows is going to get under Aubrey's skin, when Chloe's voice rang out beside her.

"It's okay. I'll do it with Beca tomorrow."

She hasn't even noticed Chloe approaching them in the midst of this, so her head whips around so fast at the sound of her voice.

"Don't you have a class during that time, Chloe? That's the whole reason why we couldn't pair you up with Beca." There's something about Aubrey's clipped words that is super careful and controlled, like there's more that she wants to say but isn't.

Chloe shrugs, before turning to Beca with a beaming smile. "It's okay, skipping out on one Russian Lit lecture won't make a difference."

 *

 Chloe, as it turns out, loves Valentine's Day.

Of course she does. Beca can't say she's surprised in the least. She thinks she doesn't know anyone who's more enthusiastic about everything and anything.

There's something about Chloe that feels like embers starting at the base of Beca's dead, cold heart, warming it up and turning itself three sizes larger.

It's not a thing she wants to unpack right now; she's not the type to get attached to people, and especially not when she's going to go through with her plan, and leave at the end of the school year. It doesn't matter if her dad helps her or not.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Chloe's voice, melodic as it comes, breaks the silence as they walk towards the south quad. She looks ready to go through the entire residence hall, her angel wings bouncing behind them.

"It's a day corporations literally invented to convince everyone to buy cards and chocolates and flowers at jacked up prices, so..."

Chloe lets out a happy sigh. "Maybe so. But it's also a day to celebrate love! And love is so awesome. I love love. And I'm not just talking about romantic love, though that is nice. You can also celebrate the love from all relationships in your life. Like your best friends, or your parents, or your siblings."

Beca raises an eyebrow, because Chloe is just so goddamn earnest. She tugs at her hoodie. "Let me guess, you and shower guy have a date?"

"Who, Tom?"

"How many shower guys do you have?" There's a beat. "Actually, don't answer that."

 *

 So here she is, still in that stupid red hoodie, still holding that stupid bow and arrow, standing in front of people, and singing a duet with Chloe Beale.

 *

 The next morning, Kimmy unceremoniously drops a box at the foot of Beca's bed, a loud thud waking her up.

There's a sleeping mask, a whole clip of flash drives, two huge jars of peanut butter, and cans of Red Bull in the box. There's also a card, and her name is written carefully in the middle of an envelope.

Happy Valentine's Day, Beca!!!! I've said this before, and I'll say it forever: I'm SO glad that I met you. I LOVE that you love music like it's the one thing you can't live without. It's something that really resonates with me, too. You make us better. :) :)

xoxo,

Chloe!

 *

 Beca drifts off to sleep that night, the music still playing in her headphones. She's wearing that sleeping mask across her eyes.

 ------------

ii. 2014, Junior Year, Barden University

 The thing with Jesse is, he really loves these grand gestures of romance.

Sometimes Beca thinks that that's his favorite part. It's almost like he's in love with the idea of being in a relationship.

Worse still, in love with the idea of her, like she's this perfectly scripted character who exists for him.

Last year for Valentine's Day, Jesse had shown up at her dorm. Well, outside of her window actually, boombox on his shoulder. She'd tried not to wince, her lips pressed together into something resembling a smile (she hopes) to the strains of In Your Eyes, at the ungodly hour of dawn.

It isn't even that she had just gotten to sleep like, two hours before that. Or the very clear and enunciated "fuck off!" that her neighbor gave them, complete with a dramatic slamming of her window. At least she doesn't have to deal with that now, now that they've all moved into the Bellas house, newly renovated.

It was just a lot, right? And maybe she should have been a better girlfriend to anticipate it this year, or at least match some of that. Rise up to his level, or something. She just has a reservation to a fancy Italian restaurant in Midtown, and she made that way in advance. So maybe she gets points for that?

January rolls into February, and she dreads it. Every day is a countdown to The Fourteenth.

 *

 Here's the more pressing thing: Chloe seems sad. Not all the time, but Beca catches it occasionally.

She presumes she knows her best friend pretty well by this point, until she's doing things like failing a single class on purpose so that she doesn't graduate. For the second year in a row.

And Beca gets it, at least on an abstract level. If she starts thinking about what comes after graduation — and that's in a year and some — she gets nervous, too. But in no version of her reality does she get so paralyzed with fear, that she would opt to repeat her senior year like it’s groundhog year.

She wishes she could know why, for certain. She can't help if she doesn't know what's going on in Chloe's head, but for the first time, it's Chloe's turn to clam up and switch the subject.

So Beca doesn't push. She hopes it's enough to keep her afloat as she works through whatever it is. She doesn't really know what that entails, but music? Music she can do.

She pours her energy into putting together a really solid mix for Chloe; it's all the songs that remind Beca of her, and their friendship. She picks songs and arranges them and removes them before she puts them back in, because it has to sound right.

Beca feels like the world's biggest dork for giving it to her the morning of Valentine's Day.

Well, second biggest dork, because she intercepts Chloe leaving the gift boxes in the room, for her and Amy.

"Hey, uh. Happy Valentine's Day," she says, handing her the flash drive — one of the many that Chloe has gotten her over the years, like she's her supplier — and hoping she doesn't look as awkward as she feels. "It's not anything like your, like, super thoughtful gifts." She gestures in that general direction. "But you're my best friend, so... here."

She gets pulled into a hug, and Beca can't be sure, but it sounds like Chloe's 'thank you' is strained and she's about to cry.

Beca hopes it's enough.

 *

 "So, Jesse gave you just the one earring?"

Beca's back from the dinner. It was... nice? There was a string quartet and Jesse made them play John Legend's All Of Me, and Beca didn't actually die of embarrassment when he started singing along, so she'll chalk that up as a win.

"Yeah, it's like — symbolism, I guess. From the movie." Beca shrugs, chewing on the popcorn she's made that Chloe is currently stealing. She thinks about lightly smacking her hand away, but ends up shifting the bowl so that it's nearer to Chloe.

Does she regret putting Don't You (Forget About Me) in their setlist? Maybe.

Probably not, all things considered, because it worked well together with the other songs, and they did win the finals that year. But it elevated the movie to mythical and legendary status for Jesse, and if he does that arm raising motion one more time during squabbles he wants to get out of? Beca might lose it even harder.

"Is it symbolism or a metaphor? I could never tell the difference."

"I think it was a metaphor in the movie," Beca starts, a thoughtful expression on her face. "But more of a symbol for like, me and Jesse? Oh my god." She presses her free hand to her eyes. "You're such a nerd. Stop making me think deeper about this than I need or want to."

"I just think it's nice," she hears Chloe say.

Beca hums, tone neutral. "It's something, for sure. Wait." She whips her head to face her best friend. "You didn't go out tonight? Ms. 'I Love Love'?"

Chloe chuckles lowly, quietly. "I have all I need here in this house, anyway."

 *

 When Beca goes to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water, she thinks she hears the soft strains of her mix playing from Chloe's room.

   ------------

  iii. 2017, Brooklyn, NY

 It's apparently the warmest February in New York on record, but Beca is still fucking freezing.

The incessant chill envelops the air, and she pulls her coat closer to her. She's bundled under layers, but the radiator in their tiny little apartment is, as most things in it, almost completely busted.

Jesus Christ. It's cold.

 *

 Amy is convinced she's cold because she's moping, because she's sad about breaking up with Jesse.

Beca knows she isn't, and it's not just the long distance thing.

They'd given it a fair go, and it sucked that he got busier with classes and she tried to solve all of the music industry's problems as an associate producer, working hours trying to make tracks sound... sonically unrotten.

It's not just the long distance thing, because if Beca was honest with herself, it was probably a sign that when he told her that he was thinking of completing his studies in California, her immediate response was that of neutral indifference.

So, she is totally fine.

 *

 Beca hears Chloe singing softly before the door even opens, and she can hear it swing open too, and she knows Chloe is about to shrug her coat off —

"Don't bother, it's also cold in here," Beca says, from under the covers.

Then, her eyes track Chloe as she walks to the radiator —

"I checked, it's working. Supposedly."

"Aww." Chloe strides the distance — not that it's that long — and sits down on their shared bed. "You're so cute when you're grumpy."

"Aren't you freezing?" she chooses to deflect the comment, hugging herself petulantly. "Hey, how was your date with that guy at the clinic?"

Chloe hums noncommittally. "We went for coffee and he double-booked me with another girl."

"Dude. What a dick." Beca feels a flash of — annoyance? Chloe deserves the world. Chloe deserves everything she wants. "I'm sorry."

"I know. It's okay though." Chloe smiles at her. It's that smile that Beca catches that she thinks it's just for her, but she's also a logical person who knows that Chloe has that ability to make people feel like they're the most important person in the world. "I've got all I need right here."

Warmth pools at Beca's stomach, and honestly. It's a nice change from the freezing.

 *

 It's 2 AM, and they're cuddling, because of course they are; because Chloe is warm; because Chloe is an embrace personified; because... Chloe.

Beca stirs awake, and she feels Chloe's breath tickle at the base of her neck. She shifts, not uncomfortably. Then, Chloe's hand drifts sleepily, and lands somewhere on Beca's hip.

And then.

And then.

There is a sudden, startling clarity in Beca's mind, knocking the figurative breath out of her. Her eyes fly open.

She loves Chloe.

And not in the same way where she loves the rest of her found family in the other Bellas.

Oh no, a voice sounds in her mind.

Oh, this is very bad, she thinks.

She can't believe how still she is right now, feeling the entire weight of Chloe's body in contact against her. Feeling her slow, steady breathing against her back. She's not even cold anymore.

Okay. So she loves her best friend. Cool, cool, very cool. That's totally fine. She can handle this.

Chloe's been such a fixture in her life, at every turn; in every note in between the downbeat and upbeat that is her life. Music is in Beca's veins, her whole life, but music flows right through Chloe. She's tucked warmly in the melody, a motif throughout the entire song.

Holy shit, Beca thinks. She's been in love with Chloe for so long, she doesn't even know when it started.

 *

 Okay, so. There's a weird spot on the ceiling, right? And Beca just keeps staring at it, because if she closes her eyes, she will feel Chloe's presence so keenly, pressed next to her.

She can't do anything with this knowledge. She can imagine it now, Chloe giving her a comforting hug but tells her, sorry Beca, I love you but not in that way.

It's five whole years of friendship, of Chloe by her side no matter what, and that is the one thing that she's got that she doesn't want to risk, just because she had this stupid revelation.

God. It's so stupid. It'll pass. Right?

 ------------

 iv. 2018, Los Angeles, CA

 What is really fucking weird, even in the grand scheme of things, is journalists asking her if she's doing anything for Valentine's Day.

Which, like. First of all, Beca's not stupid, she knows it's a way to suss out her personal-slash-love life.

She's kept that pretty close to her chest for now.

But also, there's literally nothing to tell. She's not being defensive because there's something to hide away. Beca is knee-deep in work all the time, and she goes home to an apartment that feels too big for just herself. It's a big change from the entirely too cramped apartment in Brooklyn.

Sometimes she finds herself missing that very specific part of her life. Not the struggling and being unhappy doing work with no integrity, obviously. But Chloe is now a message and three hours ahead, instead of being a daily fixture in her apartment, and it leaves Beca feeling off-kilter.

But maybe that distance is a good thing, after... you know. Revelations.

Anyway.

Her work ethic doesn't stop rumors. She's linked to every guy available — and some not — every single time one of them likes her Instagram posts. She's pretty sure she's had at least two full relationships, according to the National Enquirer.

Theo gleefully sends her screenshots. She tells him to fuck off.

 *

 Chloe Look out, super star! I'm going to be in LA for a good friend's wedding in February!! If you think we're not going to hang, you're sorely mistaken.

 Beca is busy, but she sure as hell isn't going to miss Chloe coming to LA.

 Beca You have good friends outside of the Bellas? I am shocked, Beale.

 Chloe Don't be jealous 😉

 She's not. Not because of that, she catches herself thinking, and frowns at herself. Not because of anything, she decides. It's also exactly how she decides she doesn't have feelings for Chloe anymore, because Chloe is happy with Chicago, and Beca has work, and honestly? Best outcome out of every outcome possible.

Still, Beca offers up her apartment for the long-ish weekend that Chloe would be in town. She's not a monster, and Chloe has like, a mountain of student debt.

It's the least she could do.

 *

 (Beca thinks back to that first performance at the Citadel, just under a year ago. Thinks of all the nerves she's never felt before, while she's walking to the microphone. She's always had the girls on stage with her, but not this time. Her family would be seated in the front row, supporting her no matter how far she goes.

She gets to bring them up on stage this time, of course, but it's also a temporary balm and she knows it. But that's fine, she can figure that part out.

It's the after that smarts a little.

After the performance, after the event, after she feels that pit, growing and clawing from her stomach when she sees Chloe lock lips with Chicago.

After she walks away with Theo, trying her level best to carry on a conversation as if she's not affected by what she'd just seen; trying not to think of all the what-ifs.

After, on the plane back home, when she directs a small smile at Chloe's direction. If she's happy then she's happy for her.

It's the least she could do.)

 *

 Chloe's flight reaches the airport at 7 in the evening, and Beca's right there at LAX, waiting for her to emerge. She can see a couple of people with the big paparazzi cameras, training their lenses at her, but she doesn't care.

There's a flash of red as she sees Chloe running to her, and thankfully she catches her.

"Oh, I've missed you," Chloe says, so earnest and sincere as always; always, and Beca can hear her own heartbeat. She's almost worried that Chloe can too, like a traitorous Tell-Tale Heart.

"Yeah, well, regular sight for sore eyes, that's me." That's good, right? She hits jocularity right in the bullseye with that, as if she can't feel the top of her ears growing hot.

Chloe just laughs; like another kind of warmth. She draws her in again, hand rubbing up and down Beca's back.

Beca thinks she's stupid, for feeling like she's home.

 *

 They get to Beca's place, Chloe appraising the place appreciatively as she wheels her luggage in.

"This is already at least fifty times nicer than our little shoebox in Brooklyn," she observes, and Beca shrugs, a little embarrassed.

"I mean, the label's paying for it, and it's like, it's — it's ridiculous." There's a voice at the back of Beca's head repeating, our little shoebox, and she wants it to shut up.

But it is ridiculous. She has so much space, and two rooms; she sleeps in one and the other one is where she works. She's pretty sure she spends more time in the latter than she does the former.

"Anyway, uh, so here's my sort-of office, it's a bit of a mess right now." She waves her hand around (god, why is she using her hands so much) at the room with her equipment and instruments, before stepping to her bedroom door. "And here's the bedroom, which, like. You should take the bed. My couch pulls out and it's really comfortable?"

"Don't be silly," Chloe tells her, looking back at the king-sized bed. "We've slept in way more crowded spaces. This will be perfect."

Beca swallows, hard. Perfect.

 *

 Falling back into a routine with Chloe is scarily easy.

She's been here for less than three hours, and Beca's already back to being attuned to her. They put on some music in the background, she listens to Chloe talk so passionately about school and all the stuff she's learning, and Beca is so proud.

She brushes her teeth and changes into her pajamas after Chloe does, exactly like how they used to, and climbs into her bed.

"Oh, shoot, I almost forgot," Chloe's saying, and Beca cocks her head curiously to see what she's forgotten. Her best friend comes back with a box, and hands it over to her.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Bec. Also, I don't think flash drives are in fashion now," she winks. "So your Google Drive storage has been renewed, for all the audio files you need to back up. Don't worry, I didn't look at anything else."

"Wh — oh. Oh, right, Valentine's Day, gifts and all," Beca says, and looks at the box in her hand. "Wait, is this —"

"Chocolate from your favorite place in New York? Yessss," Chloe says, a laugh coloring her tone. She settles back into bed. "Not that you have a shortage of chocolate places here, but Amy reminded me of the time she ate most of the last box after how you were saving your favorite pieces, so I thought I'd bring some here for you."

Beca's heart clenches.

"Thanks, Chlo." She's pretty proud of how unwavering her voice is. "I miss it."

"It's been tough for me too, not having you in my orbit," Chloe says, bumping their shoulders together.

"Yeah? Must be extra tough, because Chicago's not around either." Then she's scrambling. "Not that I'm like, comparing myself to your boyfriend in any way."

She sees Chloe's mouth twist to the side. Beca's eyebrows knit together.

"Chlo?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore." Chloe's words are slow, measured. Like she's afraid of setting something off.

Beca pauses, as she takes it all in.

"Oh. I mean — Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's been..." Beca sees Chloe's furrowed brows as she thinks. "Three months, almost. Just right before Christmas."

Beca thinks back to Christmas; to the group messages, the online gift cards and food deliveries made in each other's names. Nowhere in her memory exists this piece of information, and she's pretty sure she's not been that shitty of a friend to miss this.

It feels a little bit like being hurt, actually.

"Oookay," she says, licking her lips a little, letting the air out of her slowly. "Okay. Well. Good night, Chloe."

 *

 Beca can't fall asleep, and she's pretty sure she knows why. It's been an hour of staring at the ceiling, and she tries to will her stupid mind to shut down for the night.

She thinks Chloe must be asleep by now; her body clock must be three hours —

"Bec?"

Beca pauses for so long that she thinks Chloe might actually think she's asleep.

"Yeah."

She feels Chloe shift. "I want you to ask me."

Beca wants to be obtuse and frustrating; wants to pretend she doesn't know what she's talking about. Instead, the confusion and hurt win out.

She pushes herself up on her elbows, then into a sitting position. It doesn't feel like a conversation that they should have lying down. She waits for Chloe to do the same, before finding her voice and words.

"Why didn't you tell me that you and Chicago broke up?" Dimly lit by the street lights outside, Beca sees her shift in place, and she feels Chloe's hand reaching for hers. "I thought — well. You know. That we tell each other things."

Which is slightly rich, coming from her, she knows. But still.

Chloe sighs, just quietly. "Because I have feelings for someone else."

Beca blinks, taking that in. It's a weird feeling because she's simultaneously crushed and hopeful, and maybe it's the hour, or maybe it's Chloe's hand in hers, but as her eyes sweep across Chloe's face, Beca is emboldened.

She leans in, and time feels like it's slowing down as she closes the distance and presses her lips on Chloe's, roughly and then temperately.

Beca's not the most impulsive person. In the moments, though, when she is, they always leave her wondering if she'd done something stupid — like punching creepy middle-aged a cappella guys, like leaving in the middle of a fight, like pulling the girls up on stage during her solo set.

Like kissing Chloe Beale in her bed.

So she pulls back suddenly, as quickly as she had started it, an apology already stumbling out. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I just assumed, I'm so sor—"

Chloe makes a noise; something that sounds like no, her eyes so startlingly blue even in this light, and Beca freezes. She's sure her brain is working out some sort of rambling apology or excuse, maybe pass it off as a joke somehow?

But Chloe pulls her back in, both thumbs lightly touching Beca's cheekbones as she meets their lips again.

This second kiss is deeper, slower, more connected. It takes her breath away, as her hand curls at the back of Chloe's neck. Chloe tastes like mint and sweetness and sincerity, and a little like hopeless optimism on Beca's part.

A soft gasp escapes, and Chloe pulls away this time.

Beca has a tentative smile on her face, as she takes in a breath heavily; the questions written so plainly on her face.

Chloe's eyes shine.

"It's always been you, Beca."

 ------------

 v. 2020, Los Angeles, CA

 Having your anniversary on Valentine's Day is good. And bad.

Mostly good, because it means that Beca has that to help keep herself honest and not forget it, because it's impossible to.

Also, she won't forget, but, you know. Just in case.

Bad, especially last year, because it fell right around the Grammys weekend, and apparently when you're nominated and win pretty much... every single category you're in, that's kind of a big fucking deal.

(It started with Best New Artist, and by the time she's on that stage a fourth time, she literally had no other words and nothing but so much gratitude.)

But yeah, so last year's Valentine's Day-slash-anniversary was overwhelming. People contacting her from all corners, wanting to congratulate her and get some sound bites; the internet pouring both support, and scathing critique on her and her music.

Beca wishes she could say she rose above it, that she was as cool as her publicist thinks her to be.

Instead, Chloe had to deal with her, a stressful human ball of anxiety and nerves. Amazing, wonderful, sweet Chloe, just happy to be around her during these exciting and utterly vulnerable times.

 *

 This year, though. This year she's older and wiser.

Hopefully.

This year, the day falls on a Friday, but they've decided to celebrate it the next day and through the weekend instead, because Chloe has a seminar she needs to attend for school, and Theo had packed Beca's entire day with a long meeting.

Key word: had.

At 7 AM, as she wakes up groggily and checks her phone, the invite has disappeared from her calendar, presumably rescheduled for some other time. She vaguely notes the message from Theo about entire teams not being available, and Beca's not going to question the reason why, because she's immediately looking up flights to Ithaca and books the first one out.

 *

 (I'm not private jet rich, dude. Also, carbon footprint. Text to Amy, because of course.)

 *

 Here's her plan:

She'll make a beeline to Chloe's apartment (Beca's been here plenty of times, in the past couple of years; met her friends here in Cornell, hung out with them, appreciated that they're her support circle while she's here), and she'll say something incredibly dorky, and Chloe will kiss her, and then, they will properly celebrate.

God, the things Chloe can do with her mouth; the sounds Beca can get her to make.

Beca doesn’t even bother squirming in the plane seat.

 *

 Chloe I have a surprise!!!

Whereeee are you? 🥰🥰🥰

 *

 Here's what happens instead:

Beca has to fly back home — noun, the place where she lives; noun, Chloe — because while she was spending six hours flying east, Chloe had done the same in the opposite direction; her seminar being canceled (something about the professor being sick?).

She can't believe it.

Okay, she can maybe believe it.

God, the Bellas are going to have a field day with this.

 *

 In the group chat, Chloe's taken a selfie of herself in Beca’s apartment and captioned it: I flew here a day early to surprise Beca, but she flew to Cornell instead to surprise me too 😂

 Emily OMAG YOU GUYS that is SO CUTE!!!!!!

 Beca reads Emily's text, shaking her head, knowing that this is the younger girl's version of restraint.

 Flo One time I thought a guy was going to propose to his girlfriend on the plane, but turned out he was having a heart attack instead.

 Jessica&Ashley #justsoulmatethings

 *

 Rush hour in LA is so horrible, and it's nearly 8 PM when she finally gets back to her apartment. She jogs all the way from the Lyft to her door.

Beca never jogs.

Her own door flings open, and she sees the smiling face of the woman she loves.

"Flying cross country for me is so romantic."

"You did that too," Beca points out, a small smirk on her face.

"Yeah, but you did it twice." Chloe beams, and kisses her again, and again.

[bechloeislegit]

Bechloe Week 2021 - Day 7

Wait for me A/N: High School AU

Beca let out a scream and threw her phone against the wall. Her best friend, Stacie, flinched when she heard pieces of the phone hit the floor.

"Lying bitch," Beca cried. "Wait for me, she said. I love you, she said. You're the only one I want, she said. Everything she said was a lie."

"Beca," Stacie said. "It might not be what you think."

"I don't know what you were looking at," Beca said. "But all I saw was her kissing some guy."

"Beca," Stacie said. "Chloe loves you. Everybody knows that. Talk to her; find out what's really going on."

"I don't need to talk to her," Beca said. "It's obvious she's cheating on me. What other explanation could there be?"

"I don't know," Stacie said. "But, I do know Chloe, and she's no cheater."

"Why are you defending her?" Beca asked. "Her cheating is right there in full view for everyone to see."

Beca started crying and Stacie pulled her to her.

"I'm not defending her," Stacie said, hugging Beca. "I'm just saying make sure what you think happened really did happen before you say or do something you might regret."

~~ BeChloe Week 2021 - Day 7 ~~

Chloe Beale was sitting outside her favorite bistro in Paris, the City of Light, with her roommates. Conversations were happening around her, but she was not paying attention. She was lost in thought. Worrying because her girlfriend, Beca, had not returned any of her texts or been answering her calls all day. She wasn't used to not having any contact with Beca whatsoever since they got together during Junior Year.

Chloe put her elbow on the table, resting her chin in her hand. She let out a heavy sigh.

"Everything okay, Chloe?" her roommate, Trish, asked.

"No," Chloe said, sighing again. "Beca hasn't returned any of my texts or answered any of my calls today. I'm worried that something might have happened to her."

Trish smiled and looked around the table. The four girls became fast friends when they were assigned as roommates for the summer. They were all into art and had won a coveted spot for a summer art study abroad program.

And, all the girls knew about Chloe's girlfriend. How could they not? Chloe talked about her all the time.

"I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Trish said.

"Trish is right, Chloe," Dianna said. "Beca probably forgot to charge her phone again."

"If you're really worried about her," Sandy said. "Why don't you call your friend Stacie. Isn't she the one you said was Beca's best friend? She'd most likely know what was going on with Beca."

Chloe dropped her hand and sat up straight. "That's a great idea! I'll call Stacie."

Chloe pulled her phone out and scrolled through her contacts until she found Stacie's name. She pressed send and put her phone to her ear.

"It's ringing," Chloe told the girls around her. "Oh, hey, Stace-"

"You've got some explaining to do, Chloe," Stacie said as soon as she heard Chloe's voice.

"What are you talking about?" Chloe said, furrowing her brows.

"Beca saw the picture and is an emotional mess," Stacie said.

"What picture?" Chloe asked.

"The picture of you kissing some guy," Stacie said. "Beca thinks you're cheating on her."

"What?!" Chloe screeched into the phone. "I would never-." Chloe stopped and took a breath. "I would never cheat on Beca. She should know that. You both should know that. And, I have no idea what picture you're even talking about."

Hearing Chloe's part of the conversation, Sandy pulled out her phone and started scrolling through social media.

"I didn't say you did," Stacie said. "And, I told Beca as much. But, she said the picture says you did."

"I did not cheat on her!" Chloe screamed into the phone.

Sandy held her phone up to Chloe. "She's probably talking about this picture."

Chloe took Sandy's phone and her mouth dropped open. "I did not kiss that guy!"

"No, but he kissed you," Trish said. "Remember that party about two weeks ago? Some guy grabbed you and kissed you as part of a dare."

"Oh, my God!" Chloe said. "Stacie, did you hear that?"

"I did," Stacie said. "Now you just have to explain it to Beca."

"Do you know where Beca is?" Chloe asked. "She's not answering my calls or my texts."

"When she saw the picture, she threw her phone against the wall and broke it," Stacie said. "Her dad is being a hardass and won't get her a new one until she earns the money to pay for it."

Chloe sighed and tears came to her eyes. "What am I going to do, Stacie? I need to talk to her so I can explain."

"Calm down, Chloe," Stacie said. "I'll get her to come over and have her call you from my phone, okay?"

"Okay," Chloe said. "Thanks, Stacie."

Chloe ended the call and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"So, what's happening?" Dianna asked.

"Stacie is going to have Beca call me from her phone," Chloe said. "Beca broke her phone and hasn't replaced it yet."

"That's good, right?" Sandy asked.

"I hope so," Chloe said.

~~ BeChloe Week 2021 - Day 7 ~~

"Come over, Beca," Stacie pleaded. "I talked to Chloe and it's just as I said. She did not cheat on you. Yes, the picture shows someone kissing her, but it's easily explained. I think you need to talk to her to ease your mind."

Beca let out a breath. "I'll be there in ten."

"See you then," Stacie said, but Beca had already ended the call.

Ten minutes later, true to her word, Beca was at Stacie's door.

"What did she tell you about the picture?" Beca asked as soon as they were in Stacie's room.

"Some guy grabbed her and kissed her because of some stupid dare," Stacie said. "Chloe did not kiss him; he kissed her. She doesn't know who took the picture or posted it."

"God, I'm such an idiot," Beca said, running her hand through her hair. "I should have known Chloe wouldn't cheat on me. I trust her with everything I have. I don't even know why I went there; she's never given me any reason to doubt her love for me."

"I told her I'd get you to call her from my phone," Stacie said. "Why don't you call her now?"

"I need to come up with something special," Beca said. "To let her know I'm sorry and that I love her more than anything."

"Do what you do best," Stacie said. "You know she falls in love with you more each time you sing to her."

"What should I sing?"

"I have an idea."

Stacie jumped up and ran to her closet. She came back out, carrying her guitar in one hand and sheet music in the other.

"Sing her this," Stacie said, handing the guitar and music to Beca.

Beca looked over the sheet music and smiled.

"This is perfect!" Beca said, handing the sheet music back to Stacie. "I actually know how to place this on the guitar."

Beca stood and started strumming the guitar, getting a feel for the chords. She smiled at Stacie.

"I have an idea," Beca said. "You call Chloe and tell her I have a message for her. Then hold the phone out and I'll start to sing to her."

"Okay," Stacie said, picking up her phone and calling Chloe's number.

"Beca?" Chloe answered.

"Chloe, it's me," Stacie said. "Beca has a message for you."

Stacie held out the phone and Beca started playing and singing. She skipped parts that did not convey what she wanted to and only sang the parts that did.

Oceans apart day after day And I slowly go insane I hear your voice on the line But it doesn't stop the pain

Chloe teared up hearing her girlfriend singing to her through the phone.

Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you

Oh, can't you see it baby You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive This romance But in the end if I'm with you I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks I will be right here waiting for you Waiting for you

Beca set the guitar down and took Stacie's phone. Stacie smiled as she got up and left the room so Beca could have some privacy while talking to Chloe.

"Babe," Beca said. "I love you so much and I know you would never cheat on me. I don't know why I even thought you did. I'm so sorry."

Chloe sniffled. "I love you, too. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about that guy. But after I slapped him, he apologized. I didn't think it was that big of a deal and forgot about it until Trish reminded me."

"I miss you," Beca said softly. "The next three weeks are going to be torture without you."

"I miss you, too," Chloe said. "I can't wait to get back home and see you."

"I will be right here waiting for you," Beca sang, causing Chloe to chuckle softly.

"You're such a dork," Chloe said.

"That may be true," Beca retorted. "But I'm your dork."

"Always," Chloe said.

"And forever," Beca said.

----------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Sorry it's so brief but we've had some family stuff going on and I didn't have time to really write more for it.

[143bc]

Get lost in her every time ❤️🌹

My

favourite

shades

of

RED…❤️❤️❤️

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter ten

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

The knock at the door made Chloe jolt. 

Aubrey was here, and Chloe was a nervous wreck. Even if Aubrey had shown nothing but support in the texts they had exchanged over the last couple of months, Chloe was bracing herself for judgment. It had become her default setting over the last couple of years, to always expect people to think the worst of her. 

It turned out Aubrey couldn’t make it for dinner that weekend and instead offered lunch on the following Monday, so Beca was currently at work. Meeting her alone made Chloe even more nervous; Beca had become her rock, her lifeline over the past couple of months, and someone Chloe actually trusted, and she would have been more comfortable with her being present. 

She wiped her hands on her apron and padded to the door, sucking in one last deep breath before pulling it open.  Her friend looked the same as Chloe remembered her, except for her hairstyle, which evolved into a neat bob and matched the lawyer persona well.

“Hey Chlo,” Aubrey greeted softly, eyes soft and smile shy. 

“Hi,” Chloe breathed out when she remembered she should say something, blinking. 

Before Chloe could step aside, Aubrey stepped forward and pulled Chloe into a loose hug. Chloe’s first reaction was to tense for a brief moment, eventually wrapping her arms around Aubrey’s back, in turn, her shoulders relaxing as she exhaled. 

“Thanks for having me over,” Aubrey said as she backed away.

Chloe nodded with a small smile and took a step back to let Aubrey through. “Come on in. I uh-- I made chicken pasta. Do you still like that?” 

Cooking had been one of the activities Chloe had rekindled with since finishing rehab. Following a recipe was a good distraction from her cravings. 

“I do. Sounds yummy.” 

“You-- you’ve been here before, I imagine?” Chloe asked as she shut and locked the door behind them, leading Aubrey to the main room.

Aubrey shrugged off her jacket. “A few times, yes. I think the last time was for Beca’s birthday last September.” 

Chloe nodded once more, then remembered her manners. “Can I offer you anything to drink?” She asked as she padded to the fridge. “We have water, flat or sparkling, coke and fanta.” 

“Sparkling water is good,” Aubrey said as she perched herself on a stool, resting her chin over her propped-up hand. “How’s it been living with Beca?” 

“Good,” Chloe replied as she reached for two water glasses in the cupboards, the water bottle in her other hand. “She’s been really amazing with trying to make me feel at home. It’s weird though because I can’t pay rent or groceries. I still feel like I’m taking advantage of her generosity.”

Aubrey hummed. “I get that. But you’re not. Beca wouldn’t offer all those things if she felt like you were taking advantage. And we all know you’re not. You’re getting back on your feet and could use all the help you can get, which I’m sure Beca is happy to give.” 

Chloe took a deep breath and nodded. She uncapped the bottle and poured some water into both drinks. 

“How have you been feeling otherwise?” Aubrey questioned then. 

Chloe shrugged, breaking eye-contact. “It’s been a real rollercoaster, to be honest. Somedays I feel fine, other days it feels like I’m drowning. If it weren’t for Beca’s support or--” The baby, which she had yet to tell Aubrey about. She swallowed, forcing herself to meet her friend’s gaze. “A few days before the end of rehab, I found out that I was pregnant.” 

Aubrey blinked twice in slow succession, much like Beca had done. “You are? I mean--” 

“I’m keeping it,” Chloe cleared up before Aubrey could attempt to reword her question. “I know it probably sounds crazy and irresponsible given my situation and who the father is, I--” 

“I think you’re going to make an amazing mom, Chlo,” Aubrey murmured before Chloe could finish. “And yes, your situation is tricky right now, but it won’t forever be that way. And the father might be a dick whose balls should be fed to wolves, but you and I both know that a  baby sharing your genes can’t be evil.” She tilted her head to the side. “Are you going to tell him?” 

Chloe froze. She hadn’t dared broach the subject with her therapist for fear of her telling a judge, and she didn’t know what she was allowed or not allowed to do. “Do I… have to? I mean, legally?”

Aubrey shook her head. “No, you don’t have any obligations to. The father’s name on the birth certificate can be left blank, and that means Marco will have no rights over the child.” 

Chloe nibbled on her bottom lip as she processed that information. “What if he finds out? Can he get custody?” 

“He’ll have to submit a petition to the court through a lawyer in order to have a DNA test done,” Aubrey explained. “After that, a judge decides if he has the right to have custody, but I really don’t see how he could, given his track record. I had a friend at the precinct look him up, and he’s been convicted several times for drug dealing and violence.” 

Relief swept over Chloe upon hearing that. The thought of Marco having any influence on that child gave her nightmares. “Okay. Good.” She cleared her throat when her brain caught up with the rest of Aubrey’s sentence. “I didn’t know he was a criminal.” But she wasn’t surprised, now. “I wouldn’t have-- he was really good to me at the beginning, and by the time his true personality surfaced, I had nowhere to go.” 

“He was toxic,” Aubrey said as she nodded. “A manipulator. He probably loved the hell out of you at first, bombarded you with sweet messages and calls and flattery? And little by little, the connection faded and you started to feel meaningless? Unworthy?” 

Chloe could only nod faintly, because Aubrey had just put into words what her relationship with Marco felt like, without Chloe telling her any of that stuff. 

“I come across so many people with the same profile in my job, and the victims, men or women, always blame themselves. But they shouldn’t. You shouldn’t.” 

Her therapist had already told Chloe that many times, but Chloe’s default thinking made it hard to grasp that. Being with Marco felt like chaos reigned in her head, her emotions, her body, her life, and he found a way to make her believe it was her own fault. 

Chloe mustered a soft smile, feeling more than ready to stop talking about that for now. “Should we eat?” 

The conversation thankfully transitioned to easier subjects. Chloe caught up on the last six years of Aubrey’s life, feeling a little lighter and more at ease around her friend now that it was clear Aubrey held no grudge or judgment towards Chloe for cutting her out of her life. They found themselves reminiscing about their college days, two hours zipping by without Chloe once thinking about her cravings. 

“I’m just a call away, alright?” Aubrey said as she slid her jacket back on. “And if you ever want to come to Boston for a weekend, I have two guest bedrooms.” 

A genuine smile spread across Chloe’s lips as she nodded. “I’d love that.” Chloe was the one to initiate the hug this time, letting it linger. “Thank you for coming down, Bree.”

Aubrey smiled back. “It was my pleasure. See you soon, Chloe.” 

Bean’s thirteen-week-check-up took place the following day. Chloe was set on having as many tests done as possible at this stage, with an NT scan to help assess the baby’s risk of having complications such as Down syndrome, other chromosomal abnormalities, and major congenital heart problems, as well as full blood work to rule out cystic fibrosis and Tay-Sachs.

Bean passed their scan with flying colors, much to her relief. The heartbeat was strong, and 

Bean’s features were unmistakably human this time around; Chloe could make out Bean’s head and their nose and the round belly and tiny feet.

She went home with three pictures, and Beca insisted one should go up on the fridge. 

The following month was punctuated with more therapy, NA meetings, and the visit to Oregon. Chloe felt more at home in Beca’s apartment with each passing day, though she tried her best to stay out of the way whenever Sarah was over. 

On the day of their departure, Chloe was beyond grateful Beca agreed to come with her, as telling her parents the truth felt incredibly daunting. 

They landed in Portland a little after four that Thursday, renting a car to drive the two hours to Newport, where Chloe’s childhood home was located. As Beca parked the car in her parents’ driveway, Chloe was rooted to her seat with nerves. 

Beca’s hand on her leg snapped her out of it. “Hey.” Chloe turned her head to the left, meeting Beca’s soft eyes. “Breathe. In and out.” 

Nodding, Chloe inhaled deeply through her nose and released the air through her mouth, closing her eyes. She reached for the door handle next and stepped out, swallowing thickly as she let her leaned legs carry her to the front door. She pressed the doorbell and stepped back, instinctively reaching for Beca’s hand. 

Her mom appeared on the other side a handful of seconds later, and she engulfed Chloe into a hug before Chloe could even utter anything. 

“Hi mom,” she croaked out, her eyes fluttering shut as she released Beca’s hand to hug her back tightly, basking into the instant comfort being in her mom’s arms brought her. 

Alice pulled away but kept Chloe at arms’ length, her gaze sweeping over her features. “It’s so good to see you, baby.” Her focus shifted to Beca, and she embraced her next, keeping it a bit shorter. They had met each other before when her parents flew to Atlanta for Chloe’s graduation. “Welcome to our home, Beca.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Beale.” 

Chloe’s mom glared playfully, tutting. “It’s Alice to you. Come on inside.” 

They stepped into the house, a smell Chloe knew well drifting from the kitchen: her dad’s famous lasagna, Chloe’s favorite. 

“Hey Chlobear,” her dad greeted as soon as they rounded the corner, smile bright and eyes sparkling as he sat in his electric wheelchair by the couch. 

Tears pricked behind Chloe’s eyes, and she crossed the distance between them, bending down to hug him. His working arm drifted up to snake around her back. “Hi, Dad,” she whispered, emotions trapping her voice in her throat. “I’m so happy to see you.” 

“Me too, sweetheart,” he murmured, his own voice wavering. “I made your favorite. Well, your mom made your favorite under my supervision, ‘cause she would have messed it up otherwise.” 

“Hey,” Chloe’s mom objected, drawing a chuckle from both Chloe and her dad. 

Chloe straightened, hitching her thumb over her shoulder. “You remember Beca, right?” 

“Of course I do,” Mike confirmed as he made his chair go forward, then extended his hand. “How are you, Beca?” 

“Hello Mr. Beale,” Beca greeted, shaking his head. “It’s nice to see you again.” 

“You, too. And it’s Mike. No Mr. Beale around this house.” 

Beca laughed, nodding. “Got it, Mike.” 

“I hope you guys are hungry, we’ve made enough food to last us until next month,” Mike commented as he moved towards the table. 

After freshening up, she and Beca sat at the table just as Alice pulled the lasagna out from the oven, then grabbed the salad and the wine bottle from the counter. 

“Wine, Beca?” She asked, holding up the bottle. 

“I’m good, thanks, though.” 

Chloe glanced at her. “You can have some if you want.” 

Beca shook her head, smiling softly as she unfolded her napkin and draped it across her lap. “I’m okay, I promise. Water’s fine.” 

Chloe caught her parents sharing a confused look over the exchange, and she cleared her throat, knowing it was probably best to get this over with. “Mom, you should probably sit down.” 

Concern creased a frown on Alice’s forehead as she set the bottle down and lowered herself next to Chloe’s dad. “What’s going on, Chloe?” 

Chloe took a deep breath, and she felt Beca’s hand cover her own under the table. She flipped hers over and wrapped her fingers around Beca’s, grateful for the grounding contact. “I um--” she swallowed, unable to figure out where to start even though she had practiced her speech countless times leading up to their visit. 

Shame and guilt rushed through her, digging their claws into her heart and lungs, making it harder to breathe. 

“Chloe,” her mother’s voice pierced through the buzzing in Chloe’s ears. Chloe looked up from her plate, finding soft eyes. “Whatever it is, you can tell us.”

Chloe closed her eyes and sucked in a sharp breath, forcing herself to own up to her situation by looking at her parents while she spoke. “I have a drug problem. Had. I’m--I’m in recovery. I got out of rehab a couple of months ago.” 

A heavy silence settled over the room as Mike and Alice processed the news. Chloe felt like bolting out of the house as she watched her dad swallow thickly, and her mom’s jaw-dropping. She felt a squeeze to her hand and remembered to breathe. 

“Oh Chloe,” her mom whispered and got up to sit in the vacant chair on the other side of Chloe, taking her other hand as she tilted her head to the side. “How long have you been struggling?” 

Chloe cleared her throat. “About five years. I never-- I never graduated from vet school. I dropped out.” 

Her father frowned, his mouth moving wordlessly for a few beats. “But-- the money you gave us for my treatment every month?” 

“I was a stripper,” Chloe admitted quietly. “That’s how I got introduced to cocaine. How I met Marco. How I... made so much money.” She was hit by an array of emotions -- shame, fear, and somehow, relief -- right then, and a sob burst out from her throat before she could reign it in. “I’m s-sorry I lied to you for so long.” She released Beca’s hand to cover her mouth, her body shaking as she crumbled under the weight of her feelings. 

She didn’t fight it when her mom pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back in slow circles and whispering reassuring words into her ear. “It’s okay, sweetie. Breathe. We love you. No matter what.” 

It took a few minutes for Chloe to be able to get her breathing under control, straightening when she did and taking the tissue Beca offered her. 

“You must have a lot of questions,” she murmured, licking her dry lips. She still had the baby bomb to drop, but one thing at a time. Thankfully she wasn’t showing that much yet, and her large hoodie kept her small bump concealed. 

“Thank you for telling us,” her father murmured, and Chloe saw him wipe a tear away when she looked up. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be, as for deciding to seek help.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t do it before. I was ashamed and lost and--” she shrugged. “I wasn’t myself.” 

“How are you feeling now?” Her mom asked softly, pushing Chloe’s hair behind her ear. “You said it’s been two months since rehab?” 

Chloe nodded, sniffling. “Ups and downs. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Beca. She’s the one who encouraged me to get help, who paid for rehab, continued paying for your treatment, and I’ve been staying at her place while I get back on my feet.” 

Both her parents’ focus shifted to Beca, gratitude swirling in their eyes. 

“She’s been incredibly strong and responsible,” Beca said, smiling softly. “Hasn’t missed a therapy session or NA meeting since getting out of rehab.” 

“And this Marco…” her dad trailed off in a questioning tone. 

“He’s out of my life. He wasn’t a good person, but I failed to realize that.” 

“More like he hid it well,” Beca corrected gently. Chloe met her eyes. “Remember what Aubrey and your therapist said about how you didn’t have to blame yourself for that?” 

Chloe nodded. “Right.” 

“Did he… hurt you?” Mike asked next, a tremor in his voice as he seemed to brace himself for the answer. 

“Not physically.” It wasn’t exactly the truth, but Chloe didn’t think that slap was worth mentioning. “Just… emotionally. He knew how to get into my head, and the drugs didn’t help. They have this funny way of having you believe whatever it wants you to. Logic and reason no longer existed for me when I was at my lowest. I was ashamed of lying to you every time we spoke on the phone, but the paranoia over you not wanting to talk to me again if I told you was stronger.” 

She was sure her dad had a lot more questions and probably wondered if his treatment and their financial problems pushed Chloe into taking that job, but he remained silent, clearly mulling everything over. 

“We could tell you looked tired every time we called, but we never…” Alice trailed off, shaking her head as a few tears rolled down her cheeks when she blinked. “I’m so sorry.” 

“No,” Chloe croaked out, having feared this: her parents blaming themselves. Her heart felt incredibly heavy as she sandwiched her mom’s hand between her own, glancing at her dad briefly. “I don’t want you guys to feel guilty and think that you should have noticed. I hid it well, especially the first few years. Then it sort of derailed, that’s why I stopped visiting. Please don’t apologize.” 

“Did you take that job because you felt like you had to help us?” Her dad asked, just as Chloe had predicted. “With my treatment?” 

Chloe took a deep breath. “I took it because NYC was expensive and I was struggling a bit with rent. And when your health worsened, I asked for more shifts to help out.” She didn’t want to get into what she was asked to do for more money. She couldn’t. Her dad would be eaten away by guilt if he knew how much of a toll working in the VIP room took on her. The whole truth would hurt him more than a small lie. “It’s when I started doing drugs that everything fell apart. It’s not on you, dad. I promise.” 

Mike swallowed and ran his hand over his face as he visibly tried to keep a hold on his emotions. “You’re my daughter, you shouldn’t have had to provide for me, or to put yourself first.” 

“Dad, please,” Chloe whispered, feeling her throat shrinking. “I wanted to help. I just… made bad choices and met the wrong people. It’s not your fault.” Her eyes found her dad’s. “Please tell me you believe that?” 

Her father remained silent for a stretch as he stared at her. He eventually offered a faint nod, but Chloe wasn’t sure if he was being honest. 

Her mom reached up to wipe her tears away, sniffling. “What… what can we do to help you through your recovery?” 

“Being part of my support system, like you unknowingly have since I got out of rehab,” Chloe murmured with a small smile. “And dealing with more of my visits,” she added, knowing they would both be all for that.

“You are always welcome to move back here, Chlo. For as long as you want,” she offered. 

“I…” she cleared the rising lump in her throat as she briefly glanced down to her lap. “There’s something else that I need to tell you.” Another deep breath. “I’m four months pregnant. With Marco’s baby. But he’s not going to be involved. I’m going to raise them on my own.” 

There. Everything she was ready to share was out there in the open, and Chloe felt incredibly lighter, despite her heartbeat picking up as her parents once again fell silent. She really couldn’t blame them, after everything she had just dumped on them. 

“I know it’s a lot,” she added, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I know my decision to keep it might come across as strange, but I couldn’t get rid of it, and this baby is giving my life purpose again because I want to be a better person for them.” 

“I think you are incredibly brave,” Alice said after a little while, reaching out to catch a tear falling on Chloe’s cheek with the side of her pointer finger. “And I’m failing to find words to express how proud of you I am.” 

Chloe sniffled, wiping her nose with the back of her hand as her gaze met her dad’s once more. She could tell he needed more time to work through everything, and maybe they could talk about it some more the next day, once he had slept over it. 

“That kid is going to be the most spoiled grandchild of all Newport,” he joked with a soft smile, his words loosening the nerves in Chloe’s stomach.

Chloe released a watery giggle. “I love you guys.” 

“We love you, too, Chlobear,” her dad murmured, and after embracing her mom tightly, Chloe stood up and rounded the table to hug her dad. 

They eventually dug into dinner, the conversation shifting to the baby, whether it was okay, what the risks there were, when was her due date... Her parents offered to turn the office into a nursery if Chloe wanted to move back in with them, to which Chloe answered that she would think about it. She had been concerned about how much the pregnancy and having a newborn baby around would affect Beca’s life and her relationship with Sarah, and this would be another alternative to which Chloe needed to give some serious thought. 

Chloe and Beca headed upstairs shortly after dinner, both feeling exhausted as their mind and body were three hours ahead. After showing Beca to the guest room, Chloe changed into her pajamas and washed up for bed, knocking on Beca’s door on her way back to her own bedroom. 

She pushed it open upon hearing a soft come in, finding Beca lying on top of the comforter, already changed in her sleeping wear. 

“You okay?” She asked, smiling as Chloe sat down on the edge of the mattress. “That went pretty well.” 

“Yeah, I…” she swallowed, shaking her head in leftover awe. “I have amazing parents. I didn’t think they would be so understanding.” 

“Of course they’re amazing. They raised you.” 

Chloe bowed her head as blush bloomed in her cheeks. She cleared her throat. “I think my dad is a bit shaken up and part of him feels to blame, but I’m hoping he and I can talk some more tomorrow.” 

Beca nodded. “Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.” 

Chloe let out a small sigh, and she reached out to squeeze Beca’s hand. “Thanks again for coming here with me.” 

“Not a problem. I’m hoping you’ll show me around the town at some point, take me to your favorite spots.” 

“We can definitely do that tomorrow,” Chloe agreed, her smile genuine. “Goodnight, Bec.” 

“Night Chloe. Night Bean.”

[beca-mitchell]

i think you should come live with me (1/1)

Summary: Chloe and Beca at age 7 begin to learn more about the notion of family and what that means for both of them. 

Part of the daylight au. You can thank @asimplefavors for this because she texted me, inspired by “seven” by Taylor Swift...fic title from that very song.

Word count: 2,345

Read below or on AO3

* * * * *

LOCATION: Brookline, MA MONTH: August/September AGE: 7

* * * * *

 Beca’s parents start fighting close to the end of their first year in Brookline. It starts off small. Little arguments here and there, sometimes involving Beca, but mostly involving their own unhappiness with each other.

It only escalates from there, Beca seeing less and less of her father as he stays late at work. Teaching, according to her mother, but she picks up something different in her mother’s tone that she doesn’t like. She often chooses instead to focus on her food, too afraid to ask once more why daddy isn’t coming home once again for dinner.

Now, two years into living in Massachusetts, Beca still kind of feels like she doesn’t belong. Like the kids are still looking at her weird because she doesn’t like running around as much as they do...well, only if Chloe makes her or encourages her. Then she doesn’t mind it so much.

If it weren’t for Chloe Beale, Beca thinks that things would be much worse. It is the new environment and the new house and the new school, Beca’s sure of it. She hates change as much as any other young child, but she feels marginally lucky that she has Chloe.

Chloe, who consistently manages to drag her out of the house every day leading up to the first day of school at the end of each summer, mostly because she simply knows that Beca is nervous and she wants to make her feel better.

That, to Beca, is more than she could have ever asked for.

She watches Chloe hum to herself as they both sit under the big tree in Chloe’s backyard. It is their favourite spot to get away to, especially after a long day at school. Beca likes when Chloe’s mom brings them snacks and lets them play outside until they’re tired and Chloe has to practically drag Beca home, usually to the sight of Beca’s father’s disapproving stare looking down at both of them.

“I don’t want to go home,” Beca announces. She isn’t quite sure where it comes from, but she lets it out nonetheless because she has seen Chloe do it before. Chloe always speaks her mind and always makes sure her voice is heard.

Chloe sits up, propping herself up on her elbows. She frowns at Beca. “But we can’t have a sleepover. There’s school tomorrow, Bec.”

“No...I just...don’t like...going home.” She hates how timid she sounds, but it’s the truth. She waits for Chloe to process that.

Chloe takes a moment to stare at her. Beca notices that Chloe does that frequently, like she understands exactly what is going through Beca’s mind at any given moment. Beca finds it both terrifying but oddly comforting. It is comforting knowing that Chloe cares so much about her and they are, as Chloe puts it, best friends forever, but the intensity of Chloe’s gaze is sometimes just…

“Is it...your dad?” Chloe finally asks, severing Beca’s train of thought. She doesn’t sound judgmental, not even close. She simply sounds concerned, eyes fixed on Beca with sympathy.

Beca’s eyes widen. She hadn’t told Chloe. At least, she didn’t remember telling Chloe. “I...I just don’t like it when they fight,” she admits quietly. “Your house is nicer.” She feels guilty that her immediate thought is that Chloe will judge her or even get upset at her, but she knows that Chloe would never.

“I heard them once,” Chloe confesses. She sits up, wrapping her arms around her knees so she can peer at Beca more closely. “The window was open and I was outside.”

“Oh,” Beca murmurs, embarrassed mostly. “I don’t know. I just…when they yell…”

Chloe immediately pulls her in for a hug, startling Beca into silence.

Beca squeezes back—hugging is still an art form she’s learning from Chloe herself—but she finds herself sinking into the hug.

It is as easy as breathing, especially with Chloe.

 * * * * *

 When Beca leaves that night, Chloe mulls over what Beca had said earlier. She pushes her food around her plate, pouting mostly, as her brother chats animatedly with her parents. She wants so badly to fix things for Beca, but she has no idea how.

She glances up when her brother begins talking about how his friend’s family just began to foster a couple of puppies.

“Mommy? Daddy?” Chloe chimes in, ignoring the dirty look Max gives her when she cuts him off. She places her fork primly next to her plate and fixes her parents with the most innocent expression she can muster.

“Suck-up,” Max mutters, kicking her under the table.

She ignores that for the time being. “Can Beca come stay with us?”

Alice tilts her head, staring with curiosity at her youngest child. “For a sleepover?” She glances at her husband. “Baby, you know it’s a weekday. You have school tomorrow.”

“No, not for a sleepover.” Chloe pouts at her plate. “Forever.”

Chloe glances up when an extended silence follows her statement. She wonders if she said something entirely inappropriate or wrong.

Max scoffs, but otherwise stays silent, choosing to let their parents handle it.

“Chloe,” her father states. “Beca can’t stay with us forever. Why would you ask that?”

“Because Beca’s so unhappy at her house. I want her to stay here.”

“Chloe, she can’t,” her father reiterates.

“Greg,” Alice murmurs. “Chloe,” she calls across the table. “Baby, Beca can’t stay with us even if she is unhappy.” She smiles sadly at her daughter. “I know you want to protect your friend, but Beca has a family of her own and they would miss her very much if she lived with us.”

“Beca’s mom and dad are always fighting,” Chloe confesses. “I hear it sometimes.”

“You do? What have you heard?”

Chloe shrugs, picking up her fork again. “I don’t know. Stuff. I just know Beca’s sad.”

The topic is put to rest for the remainder of dinner.

Later, as Chloe climbs into bed, a worried expression still on her face, her mother joins her in her bedroom, gently shutting the door behind her. “Chloe, my sweet, sweet baby,” she murmurs, sitting on the edge of Chloe’s bed as her daughter continues to pout at her. “You know that Beca is always welcome over.”

“Yes,” Chloe mumbles. “But why can’t we just keep her?”

“She isn’t like a pet, sweetheart. You know that, right?”

“No, she’s my best friend,” Chloe corrects.

“I know, Chloe. You are, of course, very very sweet to think of her best interests.” At Chloe’s confusion, she smiles. “You care a lot about her,” she amends.

“I do.”

“Sleepovers on weekends are fine, but we can’t just take Beca from her home. People get in trouble for that kind of stuff, okay?”

“I don’t like seeing her sad.”

“I know.” Alice’s heart breaks for her daughter’s best friend. Beca is small and quiet, but she has seen how lively and happy Beca could be. Usually only around her own daughter. She adores little Beca Mitchell because of how happy the girl makes Chloe. She wonders what Beca’s own parents think of her daughter’s influence on their daughter’s life.

“I want to keep her,” Chloe declares, though with a tinge of sleepiness, finally.

"I know," Alice repeats, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "I love you." 

 * * * * *

 The next day, Beca and Chloe go about their days at school as best as they can. They didn’t manage to stay in the same class for their school year, so Chloe can only really see Beca at recess, but she’s excited just to see Beca and drag her over to their house after school.

Chloe has long stopped asking why they rarely go over to Beca’s house. Beca just likes her house better and Chloe hasn’t complained once. She loves having Beca in her house. She loves seeing Beca giggle over the fun snacks her mother always brings them. Fun dinosaur-shaped nuggets. Tater tots. Nicely sliced fruits.

Today, Alice Beale has bright smoothies waiting for them when they trudge through the front door.

“Shoes off, girls!” she calls as they rush through the front foyer.

Chloe pulls Beca into the living room where their smoothies are waiting for them. She gasps excitedly upon seeing them. “Yay! Mom never makes smoothies!”

“These look good.” Beca smiles at Chloe’s mother. “Thank you, Mrs. Beale.”

“Beca, you are so much more well-mannered than my own child.”

Beca blushes immediately under the attention and turns back quickly to the television where Chloe is loading up recorded music videos.

“Girls, I have some fun things for you, if you want to play dress-up.”

Chloe turns quickly. “I want to see!”

“I have some old dresses and shirts and clothes. Maybe you can put on a fashion show for us later. Or just figure out which things I can throw out. Hm?”

“Okay!”

 * * * * *

 “These are so big,” Beca says, holding out her arms with the sleeves flowing freely over her hands. “Maybe too big.”

“We look funny.”

“I kind of like that,” Beca says shyly. She smiles at Chloe in the reflection of the oversized mirror.

“Beca,” Chloe says slowly. “I asked my parents yesterday whether we could keep you.”

Beca pauses from where she is attempting to tie a very large belt around her waist. “You what?”

“I don’t know,” Chloe says quickly. It sounds silly now, but she wants Beca to know, at least, that Chloe cares so much about her. “You were just sad about going home. And I thought...maybe...what if you just never went home. But my mom and dad said no. I’m sorry.”

Chloe sounds so genuinely distressed that Beca nearly trips over herself to quickly pull Chloe into a tight hug. “Don’t be sorry!” She feels affection well up inside of her—affection she didn’t even know she had for Chloe—and she quickly squashes it down, focusing on the feeling of Chloe hugging her back. “Thank you,” she murmurs, as Chloe’s arms tighten around her.

In all honesty, Beca hadn’t considered that. Not even while they had been sitting out by the large tree in Chloe’s backyard the day before. Or any of the days before that. But now, she kind of wonders why she hadn’t considered it before. It seems kind of pointless now, since Chloe’s parents said no...but…

Chloe draws back from the hug and grins widely at Beca, missing teeth at all. “Want to play house?”

Beca smiles back, excited already at the prospect of a new adventure with her best friend.

 * * * * *

 Later that night as Beca settles down for dinner with her own family, she can’t quite wipe the smile from her face. It had been somewhat freeing—so fun, of course—to play house with Chloe. Being silly with Chloe, trying on oversized clothes. Then letting Chloe’s mother take pictures of them together with silly expressions on their face.

It is Beca’s mother who notices the smile on her face first. She stands at the stove, stirring something slowly while Beca sits quietly with her father at the table. “Did you have fun at Chloe’s?”

Beca thinks her father clears his throat, but he doesn’t say anything, so she keeps her eyes on her mother’s face. Well, the side of it anyway. “Yeah. We played dress-up and did our homework.”

“That sounds fun.”

“We played house too. I like playing house with Chloe. She makes me laugh a lot.”

“You played house,” Beca’s father echoes, putting his mug down on the table with a small amount of force. It startles her and she looks to him guiltily, though for what reason, she still doesn’t know. “Rebecca, you know that you can’t play house with another girl, right?”

“Warren, please, not now. She didn’t mean it that way.”

“Of course she did. It’s because you let her spend time with those damn leftist hippies,” he growls back. Beca winces, shrinking in her seat. “Beca, listen to me carefully, okay? Two girls cannot play house because that game is about pretending to be a family. Being married, Beca. You can't do that."

“Why can’t Chloe be my family too?” Beca asks, confusion her tone. She is mostly just confused, which is why she's arguing back. It feels wrong, what her father is saying her. She could have sworn that Chloe’s mom said—

“Because to be family means that you two would have to be married and you can’t have that, okay?”

“Mrs. Beale said that—she said that one day—”

“She said that one day, what?” her father demands. She quickly looks away, tears stinging her eyes. She isn’t even sure why she had bothered arguing or talking back to him. “Do you see what happens when you let our child do whatever she wants?”

“Warren, not now.” Beca hates that tone her mother uses. It means that the fight will likely last well into the night.

“I’m tired of you constantly challenging the way I want to raise our daughter. This is what’s right and you know that. Those people aren’t good influences. Look at what they're turning her into! What’s the matter with you?”

“It’s rich that you want to have a say now that you’re home for the first time in weeks. When was the last time you tucked her in? When was the last time you picked her up from school? I’m running myself dry here, Warren.”

Beca stares forlornly at the table in front of her, thinking back wistfully to what Chloe had said earlier. The thought of being part of Chloe’s family. Or even just a family with Chloe herself. That would be nice.

Beca thinks it would be nice, maybe, to spend the rest of her life being friends with Chloe, as long as she gets to keep her in her life.

It is a nice imaginary escape for the moment.

It is an escape until she can see her best friend again under that big tree where they both feel invincible.

fin.

[dailybrittanysnowpics]

Dance like no one is Watching

[missperfectlyfine13]

Kiss Me Like You Mean It

I’ve been in a real mood to write some bechloe fluff and since it’s pride month, I figured why not make it pride themed! I’ve been thinking a lot about my first experience at a pride event, and I thought it would be great to replicate that for bechloe.

Summary:  Beca and Chloe have been living in Brooklyn for about a year now and Beca is newly out of the closet. Chloe suggests they go to the NYC pride parade. Beca gets swept up in the moment, making a daring moment that could change their friendship forever.

Read below or on AO3

                                                 ************************

Beca stares at herself carefully in the mirror, she hopes she doesn’t look too crazy. She’s wearing light wash denim shorts, rainbow striped knee-high socks with her black chucks, a black tank top with a big rainbow heart on it, and her hair is pulled back into a high ponytail with an obnoxious looking rainbow scrunchie.

 She knows there will be plenty of people dressed far wilder than she is, but it’s so out of her comfort zone to be so loud…and open. That’s what pride is about thought right?

 When Chloe had suggested they go to NYC pride this year, Beca had been hesitant at first, but in the end she decided it would be fun. Chloe has always been open about the fact that she’s bi, but Beca hid her sexuality for much longer. It wasn’t until earlier this year that she finally came out to everyone. Chloe was the first person she told. She knew her best friend would be nothing but supportive and she wasn’t wrong. She smiles fondly remembering the cold, winter afternoon she told her.

 Beca is actually shaking, but not because it’s 10 degrees outside and their old apartment building is the draftiest building to ever stand, but because she’s nervous. Chloe should be home in a few minutes, and today is the day she’s going to come out to her.

She knows Chloe will be ok with it, she is bi herself, but that doesn’t make her any less (irrationally) worried about rejection.

Beca finally hears keys outside their door and her entire body stiffens in fear.

Chloe waltzes in like any other day, except that her thick winter coat is dusted with still sparkling snowflakes and her cheeks are cherry red from wind exposure.

“It’s so cold out there Becs! I thought I was going to freeze to death just walking back from the subway,” Chloe shivers, shedding her coat, hat, and mittens onto the hook by the door.

“Yea, it’s rough out there today, is it snowing?” Beca tries to distract herself with small talk.

Chloe shakes her head no, “Not really, it’s just windy, so snow is blowing off the rooftops. So, I guess it’s kind of like it’s snowing?”

“Huh, yeah,” Beca replies mindlessly, she didn’t even hear what Choe said.

“You seem off? Are you ok?” Chloe asks in a concerned voice.

The red head quickly steps out of her winter boots and moves to sit across from Beca at their little kitchen table.

“Yea I’m fine,” Beca replies, but her voice betrays her, quivering on the last syllable of her response.

Chloe quirks an eyebrow, “I don’t believe you, do you want to talk about it?”

Of course, Beca wants to talk about it, but she’s suddenly paralyzed with fear. She’s never been good at communicating her feelings or revealing things about herself. Telling Chloe right now, will be the first time Beca has even said it out loud.  

The other girl senses her discomfort and rises from her seat, “Why don’t I make us both some hot chocolate and you think about it. If you don’t want to talk after, we don’t have to.”

Beca nods, grateful that her best friend is so understanding of how she works. No communication is needed for Chloe to know what’s going on her head most days. It’s like she’s a mind reader…or a Beca whisperer.

A few minutes later, Chloe sits back down, placing a steaming mug of hot chocolate in front of Beca. It’s topped with whipped cream and there’s a candy cane left over from Christmas sticking out of the side. It’s so Chloe.

Chloe lifts her own mug to her mouth taking a sip, leaving a foamy mustache above her lip. Beca laughs and the red head realizes quickly, jutting her tongue out to lick it away.

“You ready to talk?” Chloe asks carefully.

Beca nods, she has no clue how the other girl always manages to make her feel so at ease.

“Ok what’s up?” she prods her, attempting to get the conversation started.

Beca toys with the handle of the mug in front of her, not able to actually look into Chloe’s eyes directly, “So, there’s something about myself…that I’ve been wanting to tell you about.”

Chloe waits patiently for her to gather her thoughts, sipping away at her hot beverage.

There’s no sense in her beating around the bush, so she takes a deep breath and blurts it out, “I’m gay.”

Chloe’s eyes widen and she carefully sets her mug back down before getting up and squealing excitedly, “Oh my god Beca that’s great!”

The red head moves to the other side of the table and scoops Beca up into a bone crushing hug. She knew that her best friend would be perfectly ok, this will probably be the easiest coming out experience she’ll have.

“I’m so glad you felt like you could tell me,” Chloe whispers into her shoulder, before letting her go.

Beca’s still shaking nervously as they sit back down, but Chloe looks overjoyed.

“So how long have you known, am I the first person you told?” Chloe’s enthusiasm bubbling over.

“You’re the first person…and I’ve known for about a year,” Beca says a little more calmly now.

“Well I’m honored to be the first and I’m so happy you’ve finally decided to come out,” Chloe lifts her hot chocolate back up to her lips, “if you ever need girl advice too, you know where to come.”

Beca’s cheeks burn at the thought of going to Chloe for help with other girls��Beca only wants Chloe, which just makes her cheeks burn brighter. If Chloe notices, she doesn’t say anything, just smiles pleasantly as she drinks from her mug. She knows how Beca gets about things.

“Thanks for being so great about it Chlo,” the reality of telling her was much better than Beca had imagined it.

“You know I love you no matter what! You’ll always be my Beca,” Chloe says it so easily, like she’s reciting facts from a textbook.

Beca truly doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as Chloe in her life.

 All the other Bellas had been just as supportive, if not more. Amy had dragged all three of them out to the bar after Beca told her, for celebratory drinks. All night the wild Aussie proudly announced to any relatively attractive woman, that her best friend is gay and single. By the end of the night Beca’s cheeks were burning red with embarrassment and Chloe had laughed enough for all three of them. She had managed to get a couple phone numbers from Amy’s crazy antics though, which was oddly reassuring, even though she never called any of them.

 Beca remembers how Chloe had sneered at the few women that did come up to hit on Beca that night, ultimately confusing the brunette to no ends. The incident still confuses her and her feelings towards her best friend, which might not be as one sided as she thinks.

 Beca is snapped out her thoughts, when Chloe makes her reappearance from the other side of the clothes rack dividing their small apartment. She had wanted her outfit to be a surprise.

 “So, what do you think?” Chloe asks, twirling around excitedly.

 Any thought she had about looking to crazy goes out the window when she sees Chloe’s over the top, loud and proud outfit.

 The red head is wearing a rainbow tutu over her white denim shorts and a rainbow tie dye crop top, which leaves a delicious amount of Chloe’s toned stomach on display, that’s a thought for her to unpack later. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail as well, her hair tie is much crazier than Beca’s. Rainbow streamer like objects are attached to it, which lie against her ponytail in a way that makes it look like she’s got rainbow extensions. She must have used body glitter, because she’s actually sparkling. The only muted part of her outfit are the pair of white chucks on her feet.

 “You look like a rainbow threw up on you,” Beca laughs, and Chloe’s face falls slightly before she adds, “but it looks great.”

 Chloe’s eyes travel up and down Beca’s outfit, “I like your outfit too, we look aca-awesome. You could use some glitter though.”

 “That’s where I draw the line Beale,” she replies sarcastically, “we better get going, we don’t want to miss the beginning of the parade.”

 The moment they walk up out from the subway, the air shifts around them. There are so many people, all decked out in rainbow, cheering and laughing. Music pounds loudly through the streets. People flit by them happily carrying rainbow flags and she swears she sees a storm of bright confetti off in the distance. The energy immediately washes over them both. Beca looks to Chloe who is smiling wider than normal, cerulean eyes sparkling almost magically.

 Beca grasps her hand tightly and they walk forward, attempting to find a good spot to watch the parade from. As they move farther into the mass of people, the more in awe Beca is. Everyone is so free and open. She’s positive she’s never been surrounded by more people who are LGBT or supportive of them. The thought makes her swallow back a tearful lump back.

 “How about there?” Chloe points at a spot, still open right by the guardrail, which are set up all along the street.

 Beca nods and they squeeze their way into the action.

 “Isn’t this amazing?” Chloe asks, looking around in awe.

 It’s the first pride either of them has ever been to, Beca’s so glad they get to share this special moment together.

 “It is,” Beca agrees without even thinking, still floored at the scene unfolding in front of her.

 Beca’s stomach flutters with an unknown feeling when she sees a lesbian couple across the street share a kiss. She wishes she could lean over to Chloe and claim her lips just like they had. Beca is still uncertain about how the girl next to her feels though, her fear of rejection too strong to want to try anything.

 “Beca look!” Chloe tugs on her arm to get her attention.

 Beca turns her gaze to the end of the street where she can see the head of the parade arriving. Before she knows it, it’s right in front of them. It seems to fly by in a flurry of colors, sights and sounds.

  People dressed up in wild outfits, holding balloons and banners fill the street. Drag queens dance by, a parade of dogs dressed in rainbow gear walk through with their owners, earning a slew of squeals and coos from her best friend. Floats of all design go by. People on bikes and scooters buzz by with wild smiles on their faces.

 The storm of rainbow confetti Beca had seen down the street when they first got here arrives. It floats down into the air, landing on everyone and everything. It’s magical, like something out of a movie.  

 “Becs, let’s take a picture,” Chloe says excitedly, holding her phone out.

 “Yea let’s do it,” Beca says as they turn around so they can get the street behind them.

 They both smile brightly, confetti fluttering down around them still, and Chloe takes a couple pictures. Beca can see the red head’s face turn in the display, to place a kiss on her cheek. A selfie pose Beca has become accustomed to. Beca’s not sure what comes over her in the moment, but when Chloe’s lips are almost on the smooth skin of her cheek, she whips her head around in time to catch her best friend’s lips with her own.

 Maybe it’s how freeing this whole experience has been, Beca feels like she doesn’t have to hide anything about herself. Maybe it’s the vibrant energy surrounding them, breaking down all her normal inhibitions and fears. But it doesn’t last long.

 Their reactions are instantaneous and completely opposite. Chloe seems like she starts to kiss her back, but Beca pulls away like the other girl’s lips burned her.

 “Oh my god, Chlo,” Beca feels panic bubbling up in her chest, “I don’t know why I did that; it was so stupid. I’m so sorry, that was so dumb, I’m an idiot.”

 Beca’s rambling, she’s completely aware she is. Chloe on the other hand is still staring at the brunette completely dumbfounded.

 “Shut up,” Chloe says firmly, stopping Beca dead in her tracks.

 Before she can worry about her best friend being angry with her, Chloe’s lips are crashing down onto hers for a second time. Beca’s mind goes blank and she melts at the feeling of Chloe’s lips moving softly against hers. Beca kisses back eagerly this time, sparks flying wildly between the two best friends. Chloe pulls away after a few moments, since they are still in a large crowd of people.

 “We’re ok,” the red head says breathlessly, grasping Beca’s hand as they turn back around to watch the remainder of the parade.

 Beca nods and confirms the statement, holding the other girl’s hand tightly, “We’re ok.”

 Beca has a hard time concentrating on the rest of the parade, her mind entirely consumed by the kiss she just shared with her friend. It had felt so right and so good, just like how she always imagined it would. But, what did it mean? Does Chloe like her, or did she kiss her to make her feel better about what happened? She seemed like she enjoyed it though.

 Chloe must hear how fast her mind is running and she whispers into her ear, “We’ll talk at home, just enjoy the rest of the day.”

 It’s almost the end of the parade, when Beca looks over to see Chloe intently studying her phone. She leans over slightly to see what has is holding her attention. It’s the picture from before, the surprise kiss picture. Neither of them look surprised, it looks like the most natural thing Beca has ever seen, like it’s meant to be. Rainbow confetti is swirling down around them and their lips are pressed tenderly together, their eyes closed.

 She doesn’t want to make it seem like she was spying on her or anything, but Beca wants that photo, “Chlo, can you send me that?”

 The red head nods, now looking at her, “Of course.”

 Beca feels her phone vibrate in her back pocket and she pulls it out, immediately saving the picture and setting it as her lock screen wallpaper. She looks back over at Chloe and notices she’s doing the same thing.

 When the parade ends and people start dispersing, Chloe and Beca join hands and start walking back towards the apartment. There’s a new energy between them, Beca has a hard time putting her finger on it, but it feels electric. Just the touch of their legs next to each other as they sit on the subway, or their way their fingers lace together as they walk, sends sparks coursing through her. Maybe it’s because she knows what it’s like to kiss Chloe now or the anticipation or possibly becoming even closer. She’s not sure what’s going to happen when they get back home, but she’s excited to find out.

 It seems like years before they’re finally walking up the steps to their apartment. Beca slides the keys out of her pocket and opens the door. Both women are exhausted, but still riding the high of the energy from the parade. There are still little flakes of confetti caught in strands of their hair and smiles glued to their faces.

 Chloe slides her tutu down, so she’s just in her crop top and shorts now, “As cute as that was, it was kind of a pain.”

 “Yea it was worth it though, you looked really cute,” Beca’s face flushes at her comment, it’s like she’s not even in control of herself today.

 It doesn’t seem to phase Chloe though, who is stepping closer and closer to Beca, a glint in her eye, “You did too.”

 The older girl is standing so close to her now, she can feel her breath on her face. Chloe starts to lean forward, her intent clear, but Beca moves away before their lips can connect.

 “Wait Chloe,” she didn’t want to, but she has to know what this all means first.

 “Did I misread what happened back there?” Chloe looks confused and a little hurt.

 “Why did you kiss me back…what does it mean?” Beca asks clueless.

 Chloe looks like she’s going to laugh, “You really are dense sometimes Beca.”

 “What?” Beca blurts still confused.

 “I like you Beca. I’ve liked you for so long it’s not even funny and when you kissed me I thought you had finally gotten the message,” Chloe explains as calmly as she can, but Beca can feel the emotion behind her words.

 Chloe likes her. It takes a moment for the words to actually sink in, but when they do, Beca flies back forwards to close the distance between them again.

 Their faces are inches from each other’s again, before Beca kisses her she whispers against her mouth, “I love you.”

 Chloe gasps in surprise, but the sound is swallowed up by the force of Beca’s lips against hers. The kiss is all consuming and passionate and nothing like the one they shared at the parade that afternoon. Beca feels herself being guided backwards, until Chloe is lying on top of her on the mattress. The fire blazes around them until they are in the middle of their shared pull out sofa bed, clothes splayed around the room, bare skin on bare skin. Chloe’s body glitter is now over both of them and the bed sheets, a constant reminder of the day they had.

 As they shake together in the aftershocks of their pleasure, sparkling limbs a tangled mess, Chloe finally breathily whispers to Beca the words she was waiting to hear, “I love you too.”

[lawdtl]

You're gonna live forever in me

Bechloe one shot (ANGST)

Read on Ao3

Summary:

Chloe is getting married and beca has no choice but to attend.

Based on John Mayer's song 'you're gonna live forever in me'

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A great big bang and dinosaurs

Fiery raining meteors

It all ends unfortunately

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It was on a wednesday evening when she sees an elegant envelope sitting inside her mailbox, a wedding invitation.

She swallows nothing but air and it does nothing to her dry throat, she sees the names on the letter and it almost makes her fall to the floor, feeling as if the world decided to stop spinning and a part of her wants it to

maybe if it stops spinning then maybe i get to rewind everything back to where it began

It's her fault, that's what beca repeats to herself, that maybe if she had the courage to actually acknowledge everything she felt before then this isn't how her evening would be going, that maybe she doesn't have to attend a wedding she knows she doesn't want to see

But then again, it's Chloe's. It rattles her spine and it leaves her heart wounded seeing the names chloe and chicago side by side, asking her if she could come to their special day

I couldn't, but you would never forgive me if i didn't go.

Of course she's going to attend, of course it will hurt her to see chloe and remember their times together but she'll be there even so, even just to give her a smile when she walks down the aisle

But she isn't walking up to me.

Maybe it's for the best,

Maybe this will allow me to finally move on

It's been almost four years since they've been apart from that new york apartment. Starting new lives once again, but those few years in that little place were the memories  she could never let go of and it keeps her awake at night, wondering if chloe cherishes those times as much as she does

Some people told her that maybe it wasn't meant to be, some say maybe someday they'll find their chance at love but it never came so she guesses she lands on the wasn't meant to be option

Of all the people in the world she had to fall for chloe, actually no, why did she have to fall in the first place anyway

Love's a bitch. It wasn't something that came so easily for beca, it was a foreign feeling that made her feel scared, love never welcomed her with open arms, that is until chloe showed up in her life

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But you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, just wait and see

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Chloe taught her how to be happier, to live in the moment, to be unapologetically her. Chloe had managed to break down the walls she built up ever since she felt the sting of pain brought by other people to her and at first she hated it, thinking how one person can suddenly change how she lived

That's chloe beale for you

It was what she deeply needed though, someone in her life to make her feel okay, and chloe did that, made her feel more than okay. Chloe made her feel so special, even in the slightest of things she had beca wrapped up tight on her fingers.

From the start you already had me falling

She valued chloe, valued all her opinions, all her advice, anything that chloe told her, beca has memorized them all. She holds it deeply in her heart the way Chloe manages to tell her how her music is perfect but still not afraid to let her know when it needs a little change here and there

You always knew what to say when i need you the most

All those years, constantly falling but never landing, why?

The question irritates her, why wasn't she able to tell chloe that she loved her, that she loves her. Why did she let her go without letting chloe know how much she meant to her. Why was she such a coward?

The months pass quickly for beca, she has a busy life that keeps her on the ground, letting her mind stay sane in the midst of chaos, she's thankful she loves her work, being tired because of it doesn't take a toll on her as much she thinks it should

Amy messages her a week before Chloe's wedding, asking her if she's okay, constantly reminding beca that the bellas are going to be there for her too and she wonders, asking amy why does she need to be taken care of on an event that doesn't really involve her and amy replies "beca, it's okay. we know and we're here" a line that wasn't supposed to feel like a knife but it still cut her deep

She hates herself sometimes for losing in touch with the bellas, they promised each other that nothing would change but she realized in the long run that promises were only a thing people made to keep themselves from breaking when there's an unstable moment ahead

"I promise chlo, I'll call every week"

The thing about change is that you can never stop it and most of the time, you shouldn't. Beca changed, constantly and it makes her feel good since that change let's her grow but it also makes her eyes feel heavy because chloe had a big part on that change

You made sure that i was on my way to be the best version of me before anything else

––––––––––––––––––––––————

Parts of me were made by you

And planets keep their distance too

The moon's got a grip on the sea

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No matter how many twist and turns her story gets, chloe will always be a part of it all because she never would've reached her life today without chloe beale telling her to go ahead and reach for it

She stands in front of her mirror at the hotel she's staying at, all dressed up for a wedding she feels weak to attend to, her mind constantly debating if this is something she'll allow herself to go through, the knock on the door wakes her up from her thoughts, she looks through the peephole to prepare herself on the intrution

I need air, alcohol and a little more time

Amy automatically gives her a hug once she opens the door for her, asking her once again if she is okay and ready for the day ahead "as ready as I'll ever be"

A couple more minutes and three more bellas reached her hotel room. Emily, stacie and cynthia rose, all giving her a sad smile. Beca hates it, sure this day sucks for her but this is the first time she's seeing these people after a long time and she doesn't need their pity.

Beca tells them she's okay, repeatedly so because the first few times didn't really make a lasting impression but once they've let her be, things started to feel normal, as normal as things can get for them again

They reach the wedding venue and she sees a couple more familiar faces, waving hi to the former bellas then her breathing becomes shaky again and when she feels stacie's hands on her back, guiding them to their seat, a sense of belonging she thought she lost made its way back to her and it comforts her

Maybe I should've gone to her before the wedding to make things less awkward

While seated on the pews, amy and stacie kept her busy as they asked how her life has been, the so called fame and etcetera, she answers them all with pure honesty but with quickness as well. She stops them for a second when she asks them if she should go and see chloe but even before they can let a word out the music starts

Timing's a bitch

She only recognizes flo and jessica from the entourage, a painful reminder that she and chloe have definitely gone their separate lives now. She sees chicago walking up the to the front and her blood starts to boil, and if the music were stopped maybe people can hear how her heart starts to break into millions of pieces

She sees Aubrey next, so make it three people. She figures she's the maid of honor since she's walking alone and when she looks at the door there's no one left behind to follow and like a bandaid being pulled she sees a white gown, red hair, and a familiar set of eyes that makes her heart beat faster

––––––––––––––––––––––————

And you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, it's your destiny

––––––––––––––––––––––————

The look that chloe gave her made her crumble, it was like returning to a favorite chapter from an old book that she kept ages ago. Beca knows that look, it was the look that  she knows chloe gave to her only, a warm smile with eyes telling more than a thousand stories

I don't think i can take any more of this

Beca feels her body shutting down and when she hears "speak now or forever hold your peace" her mind goes to places, millions of sentences filling it, her heart asking her to stand up and to profess her undying love for chloe, to tell the whole world how she was a coward then but she's ready to give in now

She wants to stand and to shout how much chloe means to her and that even though they've been lost from each other the past few years there was never a day chloe left her mind but instead, she chooses the poet's choice, the choice to sit down, the choice of memories instead of what may be because Chloe's happy, she sees it in her smile and it hurts her because it makes her happy that chloe is happy, just not with her

She's been at the reception for an hour now and she's catched up with the bellas, she had a talk with aubrey, it surprisingly went well, she avoided chloe in numerous occasions, and now she's looking at her watch, thinking that maybe it's time to go

This is much better, this way we don't have to say things that we don't mean and by we, i mean me

Beca says her goodbye, she calls her driver to pick her up and he tells her that he'll arrive in a couple of minutes so she goes to the garden at the back of the reception venue, wanting to breathe fresh air and to feel something other than constant hurt

She looks around and sees she is alone so she lets out a loud sigh that she's been holding back for hours and breathes in all the air she can "how do i let you go chlo?" she let's the thought out, surprised it was said aloud but what surprises her more was the voice from someone behind her

"Beca?"

The ground below her feels like ice, it's solid and slippery and if she moves a little, she'll fall and hurt herself, it freezes her.

––––––––––––––––––––––————

Life is full of sweet mistakes

And love's an honest one to make

Time leaves no fruit on the tree

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"Beca, What do you mean?"

beca's forming words in her head that sound ridiculous now, somewhere from admitting the truth and complimenting Chloe's choice of flowers for the wedding

"Oh uhm hey, i didn't see you..i just...just getting some air.. congratulations by the way, everything was lovely'

Is it possible to burn from words, or to burn from lying? Beca thinks to herself, thinks that maybe she should just run now and never look back

"Thank you and thank you for coming..i know how busy you are these days"

Beca grins at the answer, immediately imagining herself answering "do you though?"

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world chlo. Anyway i uhm, i'm leaving.. I'm just waiting for my driver so uhm thanks..for having me"

"You're leaving?, Already?"

There's that pull chloe has on her, the sadness in her voice that beca feels the need to be alerted to

"Yeah i have an early flight tomorrow"

"You were gonna leave without saying goodbye? You've been avoiding me the whole night"

"Well I'm saying goodbye now, and in my defense you're pretty busy so i didn't want to disturb you"

"Stop it, stop making excuses beca"

––––––––––––––––––––––————

But you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, it's just meant to be

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This is it, the moment she's been avoiding, the moment where Chloe's hold on her tightens and at the same time will be forced to let go

"I don't know what you mean chloe, i guess...i just didn't know what to say, I can't exactly come up to you and say hey right? Our relationship never worked that way, i never worked that way"

"What is our relationship?"

"What was"

"Okay then, what was our relationship?"

"God chloe! I...i don't know, you tell me"

"This could've been ours, you know"

"What are you saying?"

"Just a minute ago you were asking, how to let me go, I've asked myself that question about you for so many times but i never got the answer"

It all feel surreal right now, beca feels relief that they're finally talking but talking will lead to an end, and she's not sure if she's prepared for that right now

"It clearly looks you found the answer to that question"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We're here on your wedding day, chloe! That's what it means"

"You don't know how much pain i went through getting over...this"

"At least you're over it, while I'm still hanging"

"Beca you left, you moved on with your life, i tried to stay close with you but i felt you slowly wanting to go away, what did you expect me to do!?"

"Because what was the point chlo? What could we have done to make this work?"

"Everything beca. I would've done everything"

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And when the pastor asks the pews

For reasons he can't marry you

I'll keep my word and my seat

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Heavy. Draining. Painful. Just a few words on top of beca's head that describes everything right now and the voice in her head mocks her, reminding her that she could've avoided this if she just didn't go or maybe if she could've just said how she felt before but she's here now and it's time to be honest. It's time to let go

"I was scared. It means nothing now but i want to leave you today knowing that you know how i really felt, how i love you, how ever since that day on that stupid fair you are the one who kept me going, our memories in new york, our days as bellas, i will always hold them near me, i always ask myself how do i move on and i think in this moment I'm finally going to be able to do it, because seeing you happy with him, it hurts but if you're happy then I'm happy...just..just tell me, how. How do i stop loving you?"

"Beca, i never stopped loving you...but as time passed the kind of love i had for you changed, the day i realized that, it hurt me, because it ultimately meant losing you and that scared me but it was there and there was no more point of delaying what was inevitable"

"I'm sorry. for being a coward"

"I know, but in a sense, i guess we both were"

"Does he make you happy?"

"He does. He really does"

"Then I'm happy. I'm happy for you Chloe...maybe someday I'll get to love again too"

"I know you will, who wouldn't want to be in love with you"

"So i guess this is it"

"Thank you beca"

"Thank you chlo, for everything"

She gets in the car that just arrived after their hug at the garden, the hug that lingers right now through her body, the hug that will last her a lifetime. Beca looks through the window and sees chloe one last time, and beca feels like smiling, no more were the feelings of scared and sadness, they've all been replaced with hope and relief. It's time for that change. She lets out a sigh, a less troubled one unlike before.

"goodbye chloe"

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But you're gonna live forever in me

I guarantee, just wait and see

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[whatiwillsay]

Ooooh you like B Snow. Has anyone talked about her being at SNL when Dianna was? (And also Dylan O’Brien, which is how I found out lol, they’re in the same picture of that night.)

i do know she was there!!!

i would die for her and dianna to do a project together but Brittany is so normal i can’t imagine they would like become besties 😂😂😂

chloe beale still will have my heart forever!

[143bc]

❤️the sweetest 🌹

“I’m so glad that I met you..”💙

[pinkpastels113]

Horses are afraid of Chloe. Chloe is afraid of horses. But Beca is the solution.

I dunno. I read some posts of you and your were asking for promts, but it may is very outdated. So I dunno.

@anastasia-93-daybidaylove now you see how this does NOT involve beca dressing up as a horse? jeezus that conversation is going to be forever ingrained into my mind.

also hai stau! hope you like this :DD

read on ao3 or below~

Chloe isn’t afraid of many things.

But now, as she stares terrifyingly at the dark eyes boring back into her, Chloe suddenly becomes aware that many isn’t all, that many doesn’t mean that she isn’t afraid of some things.

Namely, horses.

The smell of dry grass and flakey dirt and distinct mammal brings back the memories of a facefull of sand, rocks, and of a salty wetness that she has tried numerous times to forget, and Chloe shudders, gulps with extreme difficulty at the possibility of having to endure through such a heart-stopping, nightmare-inducing, and childhood-ruining experience once again.

The scar on her forehead tingles, like a freshly irritated scab in the sun.

“Come on, Ginger, let’s get on with it! Some of us are actually excited to compare the rodeo of riding their first ever pony to wrestling a crocodile.”

Ginger. There have been worse names that Chloe has been referenced to before.

She trembles, taking a hasty step back. The horse seems to sense her trepidation, whining low before mirroring the action. Something flashes in its intelligent gaze, something close to agitation.

And Chloe may not have been around horses much- or at all- since that incident- well, till now, but she knows and loves and has experienced with animals enough to understand that an agitated creature means a troubled creature, able to cause unintentional harm if not pacified quickly with caution.

Chloe certainly isn’t going to be the one being cautious, she is barely able to hold herself upright in her current predicament.

“Oi!”

It’s maddening, the unhealthy rate at which her heart is pounding. Chloe knows that she doesn’t have to do this, to get on the saddle and hold on for a trek around the makeshift track, but none of the Bellas know and Chloe Beale is reputable for not being afraid of many things.

She toes a tentative millimeter forward, only to automatically snap right back.

She couldn’t do this. She will never be able to get over the twinge in her chest whenever her finger brushes against the line on her forehead, the slight squeeze of her heart whenever inquires about her early school life.

Chloe wants to cry. She can feel the sting already in the back of her eyes, the indication that she has failed yet again, this time surrounded by her newfound friends, and-

A hand settles gently on the small of her back.

“Chloe?”

Chloe turns, sniffling, her vision a little blurry around the edges as she looks dazedly at Beca. Beca, who is confused, curious, likely wondering why the heck it is that she is taking so damn long to just swing her leg over-

“Beca. Bec, I-” she swallows, her breath painfully suppressed in the column of her throat as she struggles to breathe. “There was this barn that I went to with my uncle when I was little in the countryside, and there was this horse, and-”

Beca rubs soothing circles through the fabric of her shirt, stepping to the side and angling herself so that Chloe is hidden from the rest of the Bellas. When Chloe stutters and doesn’t continue, Beca searches her face with something akin to sympathy, compassion, a glint of protectiveness that is uncharacteristic of her “alt girl” persona, “And what happened, Chlo? You can tell me. If you want.”

And Chloe finds that she does want to tell her, if only to have something to say to calm down her nerves. She has built on her confidence the older that she got, the further that she went on with her education, when she started to realize that her looks aren’t the defining force of her personality and that bullies are just ultimately mindless jerks. She has embraced her scar thus far as a physical attribute to her features, even going so far as to say that one time that it adds to her personality, so she knows that the problem isn’t the scar itself, but rather what had caused it.

Beca has always been an easy person to talk to, someone who despite what she says isn’t at all overly judgemental but genuinely very accepting. She is someone who is embracive of the uniqueness and flaws in the world, able to transform them into something beautiful, engaging.

So if Chloe had to pick someone to talk to about why it is that she is now scared to death of horses- of the notion of being near one let alone climb on one- it is her.

She takes a deep breath. “I was lifted up into the air by my uncle who had no idea how to take care of a five year old on a full grown horse, put on the worn out saddle, and let go without adult supervision or security or even with my hands properly on the mane down a trail. I fell off onto my face on top of the rocks and the sand and bled so much that I had to get thirteen stitches on the center of my forehead. I was bullied for looking like a red haired Frankenstein all throughout elementary and the first year of middle school and in that time I just… I dunno, connected everything to that trauma and became deathly terrified of horses, I guess.”

Beca blinks, and then nods. She doesn’t ask whether Chloe is okay, why she had lied when everyone had been interested to know more about the faint line now resting just beneath her hairline, or any of the unimportant and pointless questions that Chloe frankly doesn’t even want to think about how to answer.

She simply says, “Okay.”

Then-

“Do you wanna try to see if you can overcome it? I know how determined you can get when you’re trying to beat something that you don’t like, and based on how long I saw you debating from back there, I can tell that there is at least some part of you that is curious to see if you can kick this fear’s ass. You obviously don’t have to, you know, I’m just saying that I will be here if you decide that you do. Want to. Or whatever.”

Chloe laughs, wiping the last of the mist from her eyes. Beca is such an idiot. An adorable, rambling idiot. Who knows just what she needs. “Here? To help me? Are you an expert now, Bec?”

Beca smiles, looking relieved that Chloe has stopped tearing up. Fat Amy shouts at them to move faster again and she huffs, refusing to withdraw her hand from its ministrations on Chloe’s back even as she responds over her shoulder,

“You all can shove it! There is more than one horse in this fairground and Stacie is on the other one, so take turns with her and suck it up till Chloe returns, alright? We’re gonna be here for the entire afternoon. So there’s more than enough time for everyone to have their fun.”

Beca shakes her head at the chorus of groans and cheers emanating from the crowd. She then rolls her eyes at Chloe, who is giggling at her dramatics. “Children, every single one of them. Without Aubrey we are both the literal parents here.”

And just like that, Chloe is able to forget her inhibitions long enough for her mental stability to revert back to normal, “It is wonderful to be stuck as a parent with you, Becs.”

Beca blushes at the wink Chloe delivers, nudging at the base of her spine with the guidance of her palm, “Quit teasing, Beale, and get on with this ass kicking.”

Turns out, Beca had been very observant when the instructor- some random tall guy- was teaching them on how to mount (before slinking off to flirt with his girlfriend), and is just as diligent in remembering and repeating the same directions, coaxing Chloe up the steps to face her body sideways in the same direction as her horse and making sure that it is balanced safely for the both of them before encouraging Chloe on. Surprisingly- or maybe not so, because Chloe is with Beca, after all, the person that she is basically in love with the better part of the past three years- Chloe doesn’t have much difficulty in accomplishing this task with Beca as her guide, beyond the initial spike of brief anxiety that was gently let down by Beca’s hand on Chloe’s thigh, followed a reassuring quirk of her lips.

I’m right here, Beca had said, in the sparkle of her eyes and tilt of her head, and Chloe had listened.

She’d willed her heartbeat to slow down, her lungs to expand and contract to the demonstration that Beca was giving, and eventually, she’d been capable of grabbing ahold of the reins from Beca’s grasp without fumbling.

Beca murmured a “great job” when Chloe breathed a sigh of relief after settling safely onto the saddle, and made a joke about how her horse is like her spirit animal, skittish when she is afraid, friendly when she is not.

Chloe hadn’t been confident enough to remove one of her hands to swat at her, so she had pouted, gripping tightly onto the reins as Beca double- triple- checked her protective gear.

Now, Beca is quietly sneaking a very small apple slice to Chloe’s horse, while Chloe is continuing to regulate her breathing and pulse rate in preparation for the ride.

“You good?” she says, wiping her palm against the denim of her jeans.

Chloe gazes down at her, taking in Beca’s dark locks, the curve of her nose, the part of her mouth, the glare from her sunglasses.

Her brain scrambles, but this time it’s in panic for a different reason, entirely.

Chloe isn’t afraid of many things, but besides horses being on the list of things that she is afraid of, telling Beca Mitchell that she loves her and appreciates her beyond anything else in this entire world comes to a close second.

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks, Bec.”

Beca’s teeth flashes, something that always, always, sends Chloe’s stomach for an intoxicating swoop, “But of course. You’re my co-parent after all. Now get on with it, alright? I want a ride too.”

--

fin.

[emilyjunk]

MERRY PITCHMAS

Merry Pitchmas @lets-talk-appella... I’m sorry it’s so late, I hope it’s still Christmas wherever you are!! I haven’t written bechloe in ages so I hope it’s up to standard... Enjoy!!!!! <3 And thank you @merry-pitchmas, @redlance, and @chloebeale... love you guys.

(read on ao3) or below

It was their first Christmas together, and Beca knew that meant something. Eight years of friendship and four years of dating, and in all that time, they’d never spent Christmas together. 

The first years of their friendship, back when they were still in college, there hadn’t been a reason to spend Christmas together. They weren’t together and their families lived in different states. After they’d graduated and started dating, they’d still gone separate ways for the holidays, back to their individual families and relatives because it was what they’d always done. Then last year Beca had to be away from home for her debut solo tour and Chloe had gone on a cruise with her parents, so that had been that. 

This year, though, they would be spending Christmas together in their small Manhattan apartment, and Beca was nervous. 

It wasn’t because Christmas was Chloe’s favorite holiday and Beca had to live up to the traditions and expectations of the Beale’s Christmas plans. It wasn’t even because she didn’t think Chloe would like her presents, even the big one. She knew Chloe would like it, and she knew everything would be fine. 

No, Beca was nervous because despite the certainty she felt and all these years they’d been together, this Christmas was proof that they still had firsts to share together, and sometimes new things and new beginnings were nerve-wracking.

“Open this,” Chloe said, passing her the last present. It had no particular shape, but it was soft and Beca thought it might be clothes. 

“Is it socks?”

“It’s too big to be socks.”

“Mmm, I’m pretty sure it’s socks.”

Chloe rolled her eyes fondly and said nothing. Beca ripped off the paper, frowning in confusion.

Beca frowned. “This is just your old sweatshirt.”

“Well, yeah, but you steal it so much I just figured I’d give it to you,” Chloe teased. 

“You are... so annoying.” But she slipped the sweatshirt over her head. When her eyes popped through the neck hole, Chloe was right up in her face. Beca squeaked out a laugh when Chloe kissed her. “Nerd.”

“Yeah. I love you.” Chloe tugged the hoodie strings so they scrunched around Beca’s face.

“Hey!”

Chloe laughed and pushed herself up. “You want some more coffee?”

“Wait!” Beca shoved her hand in her sweatpants pocket, fingers curling around the small circle she’d tucked in there when she’d first woken up.

“Hmm?” Chloe called absentmindedly from the kitchen. Beca heard the clink of the coffee pot. 

“There’s still one more present.”

There was another clink and then Chloe drifted back into the living room, palms cupped around her favorite mug. Beca thought she looked as beautiful as ever, the Christmas lights from their miniature tree shining in her hair, her baggy long-sleeve pajama shirt trailing over the top of her flannel pants.

“Oh, I thought that was it.”

“No…” Beca’s heart started to beat with the ferocity of a bass drum and she could feel her face turning red. “Um, so. I just thought, like.” She took a deep breath. “So you know how this is the first Christmas we’ve actually spent together, even though we’ve been together, like, forever?”

Chloe nodded slowly. “Uh huh...”

“So I just wanted to let you know that I realize that means something?” 

“Okay?” Chloe smiled, but her eyes were still confused and curious. 

“I mean, I’ve wanted to give this to you for awhile now, but I couldn’t think of the right time. And then I realized that now is the right time. Because even after all these years, it proves we can still have first times for things. We haven’t run out of them yet.”

Chloe scrunched her nose. “Right… Bec, I love you, but you’re being weird. Are you going somewhere with this?”

“Yes!” Beca took a deep breath and pulled her hand out of her pocket. She was still sitting on the floor and she pushed herself on her knees, cursing her terrible posture and flexibility for making the maneuver clumsy and awkward. She held the ring out with trembling fingers.

Chloe’s eyes zoomed in on it, going wide. “Oh. Oh my God. Right now? Oh my God.”

“No time like the moment, dude, am I right?"

Chloe looked torn between laughing and crying. "Jesus."

Beca grinned, her nerves starting to settle a bit now that she was doing the thing. "I love you, Chloe. You're crazy and beautiful and kind and smart. Every day I feel shocked you like my grumpy ass because I know I'm not easy." She shrugged weakly. "Our journey has been totally weird and long and good. So good. Even though it took us awhile to get started and to figure this all out… especially me because we both know I'm bad at stuff like this. But I wouldn't change any of it. And I guess what I'm saying is that we can't go back, but we can go forward, and if this is our first Christmas together then I want every Christmas from now on to be together. I want me and you together, every Christmas, every year, every day. Will you marry me?"

Chloe was crying then, pinpricks of tears in the corners of her eyes. But she was smiling wider than Beca had ever seen her. "Do you really even have to ask?"

Beca raised her eyebrows. "I mean? I've heard you're supposed to do it like this but I always fall asleep before this part in the movies."

Chloe choked out a laugh. "Oh my God, shut up. Yes obviously. Of course I will." 

"Cool. So do I like… just put this on your finger or…?"

Chloe shook her head, fanning her face. She held her hand out and Beca slipped the ring on her finger. It glittered, reflecting the lights on the Christmas tree. Beca wasn't usually sentimental like this, but she couldn't help it - her breath caught in her throat.

Chloe seemed to be having the same reaction. "Wow," she whispered through a sniffle. She pulled Beca to her feet and tugged her into a hug. "You know I already consider us married right?"

"I know," Beca grinned into the crook of Chloe's neck. "I didn't think I'd be into this kind of thing, but you make it easy."

"I love you. I love you so much. Forever and ever."

"I love you, too." Beca leaned back, still keeping Chloe close. "Merry Christmas, Chlo."

Chloe laughed again, then leaned in to give Beca a kiss, soft and tender and full of love. "Merry Christmas, Beca."