#thank or blame maddie for the entirety of this

[typicalopposite]

🫶 making myself write monday 🫶

another day another scheduled post! :) so technically this was a making myself write sunday... but whatever! shout out to @bidisasterevankinard -- consider this your tag! -- for the prompt! (and so you know who to blame for what I'm about to do!!!

(TW: mpreg cause we live here now)

See you around, Buck.

He has replayed those words over and over and over and over in his head ever since Tommy pulled the door closed behind him. 

Now, there’s loud knocking on the same door, but he’s unable to call out that it’s open. Thankfully, Maddie tries the knob and pushes the door in, hurrying into the loft and over to Buck. “Hey,” she says softly, prying his phone out of the death grip he has on it. She ends the call that is still connected to her phone— where he tearfully had told her what happened before going silent… before going numb— and sits the phone on the table. “Buck…” Maddie tries again, after getting no response the first time. “Can you look at me?” 

He barely can even hear her; her voice is faint thanks to the rushing of blood in his ears and the pounding of his heart. He blinks, and finally the pools of tears release, pouring down his face. “He— he— he…”

“Shhh…” Maddie shushes him, drawing him into her arms. 

“He left.”

“I know.”

“He left Maddie!”

“I know, Buck. I’m so sorry.”

His breaths come in short gasping spurts and Maddie continues to plead with him to calm down before he passes out. 

“He— He— He left… us!” 

~~~

(An hour earlier)

Buck bounces on the balls of his feet nervously as he waits for Tommy to reach his apartment. 

He has spent the entirety of the day stressing over this moment. Running through exactly what he is going to say over and over and over and over. Reciting the life changing speech to himself in the mirror, to himself in the Jeep, then once to Maddie at dispatch so he could get some much desired feedback. “Buck… calm down. This is— it’s a lot, I know.” She reached up and cupped his cheek, smiling at him in that more-motherly-than-sisterly way she does to make him feel better. “But it’s going to be fine, you can do this.” 

This…  The ‘this’ in question is huge— or it’s going to be, anyway. Maybe the biggest thing to ever happen to him in his entire life… and scary, too. Terrifying even. But it won’t only affect him, so now— before they can move forward to this new journey— he has to tell Tommy. 

A quick knock at the door has Buck nearly vibrating out of his body. He walks over and opens the door, instantly met with Tommy’s gorgeous face and his to-die-for smile. “Hey!” he says, stepping forward and catching Buck by the hips to pull him in for a kiss. 

Buck feels the butterflies flutter to life in his stomach; they are never able to settle for long, not with Tommy. He is always saying something to rile them up, or doing something— or texting or calling or just existing in Buck’s memory and keeping them active. Buck is so in love with this man it kind of overwhelms him… and he hasn’t even had the chance to actually tell him that yet! Now there is this— this huge, scary announcement— throwing a hurdle right in the pathway to those three little words. By hurdle, of course, he means a power boost, like in those little racing games he gets his ass kicked by Chris in… Tommy always says they are going at his speed; that speed is about to increase tremendously. 

But it’s okay. 

Tommy is amazing. And kind. And caring and understanding and— well right now he is just rambling about parking spots and their movie date. Buck finally finds his voice and interjects to ask if they can talk. Tommy bounces off his jittering nerves with light humor, dismantling the tension with a playful uh oh as he sits down. “So I have been thinking about what you shared with me the other night…” Buck says.

“My spumoni?” Tommy says back, hands clasped together. 

“No… not your spumoni,” Buck laughs— spumoni actually sounds pretty appetizing, come to think of it… maybe they can get some to celebrate! “Uh… I- I was thinking a- about what you said regarding kids.” Tommy’s brows furrow, so Buck continues. “About how you’ve never really given much thought to the idea, b- but you’re not necessarily opposed to it either.” 

“Yeah, I did say that.” Now Tommy looks worried and that is causing Buck to lose the very minimal grasp on his own bravery. “I do love kids, it’s just— our line of work is a little—”

“Intense?” Buck concludes; Tommy nods. “A- And you're right… but— but see most people in our line of work… they don’t have the amazing support system that we have!” 

“Uh, that… is true,” Tommy says, face very unreadable. 

“So really… the idea of a kid loses some of its intensity thanks to that, right?” 

“Evan… what exactly are you—”

“I’m pregnant…”

He blurts it out, just like that. Now it’s out there and he can’t take it back and his heart feels like it’s being twisted; blood and oxygen are being cut off… He tries to judge Tommy’s reaction by the stark lack of reaction plastered across his face. He blinks, and takes in a deep breath. “W- Wow,” he manages. 

“Yeah… it’s, uh, crazy right?” 

“Mhmm…” 

“B- But we will be fine, you know. Because we have that amazing support system, and we have each other! We— We’re gonna be a family.” Tommy smiles at him— smile is too strong of a word— Tommy honestly looks constipated to him. “Hey…” he says, taking Tommy’s hand. “We— We are going to be fine. I’ll have to go on light duty but—” he gives a soft laugh. “—you know me. There’s no way they’re getting rid of me until I absolutely have to leave. So— so income won’t be a problem.” Tommy still looks pale and like he might pass out, so Buck squeezes his hand. “W- We can… move in together to— to your house… since you have extra rooms.”

“Evan…”

“Maddie is the only one who knows, I just needed someone to calm me down about telling you!”

“Evan…”

“But I’m going in the morning to tell Bobby… I want to be so careful because this—” He can’t help himself; he lets a hand slide across his flat belly. “This is something I have always wanted, and I think we’re gonna be amazing dads.” 

“Evan!” Buck startles at the incline in Tommy’s voice, he hardly ever raises his voice… much less to him. Tommy sighs. “We can’t move in together…” 

“What, wh- why not.” 

“Because, this… it’s not going to work.” Buck feels like his face is on fire; it’s hot and tingling and he can already feel the first drop of a tear to his cheek. “Please don’t— don’t cry.” Tommy looks so remorseful— that doesn’t go with his actions, though. “Look Evan, I think you’re going to be a great dad, but no matter how bad I want to be… I won’t.” 

“Y- You don’t know that.” 

“No, I— I do actually…” he says. “I’d be terrible… and I wouldn’t plan on it, and I wouldn’t mean to… but I’d only make everything worse for them and for you. I just— I should go.” He stands up, letting his hand slip free of Buck’s.

“W- Wait, hold on… wait a minute. Did you just… break up with me?” 

Tommy stops almost at the door and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face and holding it against his neck. “Yeah… I guess I did,” he says with a weak laugh. “Believe me I didn’t see it coming. I guess… I should have known that parking spot was too good to be true…” He stares back at Buck with the most heartbroken expression and Buck wonders who’s heart is breaking more right now; mostly he wonders why Tommy is doing this, and if he really believes the things he said. “I’ll see you around Buck.” Then he’s gone; and the loss of his name is almost as hard as the loss of Tommy. 

He stares at the door in shock until his phone rings. It’s Maddie, calling to see how things went.

and lastly but not leastly because this is my favorite part! Throwing out some tags so I can see what yall are working on!

@30somethingautisticteacher @nine-one-wanton @judymarch15 @sunnywithachanceofbi @herrmannhalsteadproduction

@onthewaytosomewhere @lavenderleahy @unhingedangstaddict @somethingaboutfirefly @silversky9

@piratefalls @exhaustedpirate @hyperfocusthusly @quintessenceofdust88 and anyone else who wants to join in!

[margoshansons]

ASK FOR AN ASK! What gets you really down into the writing groove? A trope? A song? Some kind of focus?

Oooooh okay so it’s a couple things usually

If I’m stuck a prompt always helps to get things going, but if it’s with a fic I’m actively working on (like The Old Therebefore) I typically either have a playlist for the fic on in the background or some background noise like a YouTube video or GoT lore dump to help me get in the mood.

And then of course there’s always @kingsmakers who is willing to enable me and get me to think about things in a new way (fun fact Maddie’s the reason for the entirety of Reyna’s season 2 plotline so you can blame her) jk jk.

Thank you for asking!! ❤️❤️❤️

[pinkpastels113]

from the chloe’s help

just another one of those “chloe beale would totally...” drabble moments, nothing to see here, move along…

(no but seriously this took forever to write and i kinda liked it, plus it was a distraction piece for me to get back into the roll for my fandom drive assignment so please let me know what you think? sjhgdjks)

-----

Nobody has ever said that Beca would be an exception to the pressures of everyday life, but still, she believed. Nobody has ever said that Beca would be the spared tree in a land picked for deforestation, but still, she believed.

Beca believed so hard in fact that sometimes she would be surprised when she would break down a week after a stressful event. It would be a perfectly normal afternoon, she would be making (a late) breakfast, and she would break down. Out of nothing; thin air, because the pressure had been the week before. 

Beca puts the knife down, leaving the avocado open on the cutting board. She sniffles, surprised at the wetness suddenly coating her eyes, and goes over to sit numbly on the living room couch.

She isn’t good enough, she will never be good enough.

Beca buries her head in her hands. Her mind spirals itself into tight circles, curling and uncurling from the ring that was conveniently formed. The voices start to pick at her sides, crawling into the dark insecurity, and Beca thinks she might just implode.

She isn’t strong enough, she will never be strong enough.

Beca blinks, her vision starting to blur vapidly into a smudged window. Her fingers are like blinds, she is peeking unseeingly through them, and it is like she is both the rain and the person looking through the rain as her tears blot her comprehension of the outside world. 

Whoever said she was ever important?

Someone sits down next to her. Beca can feel the cushion shift, but still she doesn’t move. She tells herself that she doesn’t care, not one bit, not one person not one thing not one career at all even as her heart aches for the claim otherwise.

“Beca.”

Beca feels her breath stutter. Someone envelops her up into their arms, disrupting her balance, and she crumples fast into their warmth. Her hands go from her eyes to wrapping around that person’s waist, and she sniffles instead into their shoulder. 

Chloe’s shampoo fills Beca’s airflow, suffocating her with the affection and love and kindness that only she seems to give. It is only then that Beca breathes what feels like the most unadulterated breath for weeks, maybe even months.

“Do you still feel I’m good enough?”

Chloe’s attention goes to Beca’s hair, caressing it, kissing it. She strokes each individual curl like it’s a delicate petal and Beca feels like she really can just drift away. 

She repeats what she always says when this happens, when Beca is so unsure of herself that she physically needs someone there to substantially lift her up.

“You is kind, you is smart, you is important. You are beautiful, Bec, and I will always be here to make sure that you know you are good enough.”

Beca hiccups, wiping her nose on the fold of Chloe’s collar. Her arms tighten around her anchor in the event that it might disappear. 

“Really?” Beca lifts her head to stare blurrily into Chloe’s eyes. She absolutely needs to know. The true, complete, honest, answer. “Do you really believe that?”

Chloe kisses the top of Beca’s forehead. Then her nose. Then her mouth. Beca couldn’t contain the smile that spreads across her face when she presses her lips there. 

“Yeah, I do.”

Chloe carefully pushes them forward, so that Beca can lean on her back against the soft couch cushions. The afternoon light filters in through the window that Beca is glad they didn’t get the curtains for to play with the fire that is Chloe’s hair. Chloe brushes away the remainder of Beca’s breakdown with the pad of her thumb. The actually tangible ring on her left hand tingles the skin of Beca’s cheek with its temperature but it only creates the opposite effect, seeing as Beca can already feel herself heating up.

“Chloe-” She swallows, waits. Beca knows that Chloe knows what she wants Chloe to say, and she wants her to say it.

She needs it, like her heart needs blood and air for it to survive.

“Yes, Beca, I think you are worthy of the love that you give and that I have to give for you. I would never lie to you. Well-” Chloe’s freckles scrunch adorably at the thoughtful amendment she is about to make, “Maybe over what time it is so that you would get out of bed, but only for about ten minutes or so.” She laughs heartily at Beca’s scandalized gasp, sobering up eventually by a nuzzle into Beca’s neck. 

The finishing touches are a whisper into Beca’s collarbone, but the seriousness of it and the implications of its promises are what provides her with the life jacket for Beca to go on,

“But no, I would never lie to you about anything like that.”

-----

fin.

[sepublic]

Night Drivers/Return to Wartwood!

           This episode was REALLY GOOD you guys!!!

           Like, this was a PHENOMENAL return to the show after a months-long hiatus, and genuinely action-packed, hilarious, and had me on the edge of my seat! It was just SSSOOOO enjoyable and I’ve got a lot to say about it!

           Firstly, I LOVE all of these continuity references, to Anne reading Bessie’s manual, Wally being Walliam, as well as that off-screen reference to Hop Pop and Polly being given that wish list ahead of time! It really makes the journey feel all the more cohesive and connected, bound together… And likewise, I love Anne and Hop Pop’s dynamic as the eldest of the family who have the most common sense and have to look after everyone, it’s great! I love Hop Pop’s dream gag and how he’s fairly certain there’s something symbolic to discern, but he can’t tell what- That’s a mood, and really all of his antics and declaring himself a god within was hilarious. Anne’s mood conversely starting nice but turning dark was great, and I legit expected some nightmare fuel before the reveal that it was just licorice; And shoot, now I want to try licorice-flavored froyo! I’ve got a few yogurtland coupons, but I doubt that’s a flavor, at least as far as I remember…

           The monster and background design in Amphibia remains particularly impeccable in Night Drivers, like that snake with what appears to be a decoy prey animal in its mouth to attract good Samaritans; Or even just the rocks having skeletons and bones smeared across, implying they’ve crushed and run over plenty of other passengers on their way down! That foggy bit was legitimately surreal and creepy and reminded me of Silent Hill and this one movie called The Mist, I believe- I’ve never watched it but I get the general premise, and I wonder if that scene was an homage? Also, that Frobo cameo was AMAZING and clever, how it’s grabbing for the Plantars… And that joke about Anne eating Hop Pop was hilarious, I’m sorry but like; Hop Pop is HIGHLY underrated in my opinion!

           The whole chase sequence from Man Door Hook Car Door Hand, or however it goes… The entirety of Night Drivers really reminded me of those urban legends, and the twist at the end where the hitchhiker is actually a helpful ghosts; It was some nice lore and world-building, but also reminded me a LOT of this one story I heard… Which, it was probably a reference towards, but this season really makes the world of Amphibia feel so much more fleshed-out and real, perilous and kind of messed-up, etc.! I saw the twist with Zachariah being helpful, but you know what they say; It’s about the journey, not the destination! Well, actually, it IS about the destination, it’s why Sprig and Polly decided to drive at night in the first place, to get to Wartwood; Speaking of which…

           Return to Wartwood! Another amazing episode, I love that bit of Ivy hiding in a disguise, I saw it and couldn’t be fooled; And I’ve MISSED Wartwood, it’s felt like a year since we’ve last seen it! Which, we technically saw it in the first episode of the summer last year… But it was such a brief passing-through, that coupled with the hiatus between Seasons 1 and 2, and it DOES feel like it’s been over a year to finally get back to good-old antics here! I actually felt the homesickness and joy of the Plantars here… And as I said before, that gag about only Hop Pop and Polly knowing, but to THEM of course they remember, and them just helplessly slapping the floor of the Fwagon was surprisingly humorous. I have to wonder how their shopping trip at Newtopia would’ve gone differently, had they remembered the wish list! And don’t be so hard on yourself Sprig, YOU didn’t know of the wish list, so you can blame it all on your sister and Hop Pop; Besides, you have those broken halves of a staff…?

           I love how Anne has progressed and grown into like, the exasperated, common sense person who’s getting tired of the antics now –even if she’s not fully immune herself- and wants no part in things, her growth feels clear and impeccable here. Seeing the Chicka-lisk from the intro FINALLY debut was like seeing the Intro Worm from the Owl House in its season finale; A wonderful surprise to really tie things together! And that whole sequence where the Plantars perform a satanic ritual just to get away from their responsibilities, that Loggle jumpscare, just the realization that they’re already wearing cloaks at night with candles and a glowing red circle; The escalation had me rolling!

           The Plantars were surprisingly thoughtful in their choice of monster, even if things still went wrong because the townspeople have learned to be more defiant, no thanks to Anne and Hop Pop; The gag of Toady being used as a petrified shield, only for Mayor Toadstool to realize he WAS petrified… Those two frogs looking into each other’s eyes, Maddie knowing about the whole thing, I love it! It just flowed and was done so well, the whole bit felt like a video game boss fight, especially with Hop Pop and Sylvia dodging the shockwaves… The Chicka-lisk being pretty chill was kind of adorable, and I enjoyed the callback to the town’s formations against outside monsters, with this one ACTUALLY working… But for completely unexpected reasons that had me burst in unexpected laughter. Though, for all I know, it WAS the intent to offend- But regardless, seeing Toadstool welcome Anne as part of the formation and she can just roll with it and KNOWS… It’s such a welcome development from the very first episode, the growth is real and it feels like a journey we’re looking back upon!

           Also, Anne’s sword skills were freaking amazing, as was her deflecting the petrification beams; Can’t wait to see more of that in action, she’s quite the fighter and Paladin at this point, and I kind of want to see more of the townspeople in action as like, something that they can rally for in later battles and story events! I really want an action-adventure game for Amphibia now, actually… I mean, I’ve always wanted one, but now it hits harder, especially with the recent Legend of Zelda vibes from the newest trailer.

           …Also, SPRIVY KISS I WAS SQUEALING LIKE ANNE THE ENTIRE TIME THEY REALLY ARE THAT ADORABLE YIIIISSSSSS!!!!!

           This episode was a WONDERFUL return to the show that blew my expectations out of the swampy water with the pacing, the direction, the humor and moments, the callback and action, the surprising horror bits and chaos; And I appreciate the Plantars being called out as the chaos family, they’re like the Tooks in the Shire from the Hobbit! This episode was timed well, it does feel like a return to home after so long, and it makes my heart warm as I feel sentimental and happy… I’m honestly down to just a few episodes of getting back to Wartwood, to those good old times before the story beats return with Marcy and Sasha! Here’s looking forward to next week, F-Annes!

[bornasghosts7165]

All I Want: Part 39

Previous Part

On the first day back on the tour you were up early. After tossing and turning in bed you decided your time would be better served doing something else. You got up and got ready probably before anyone else was even awake. When you got to the lobby it was still early and it would be a little while before everyone started to gather to get to the venue. You couldn’t go back up to your hotel room. Not after you had just broken the former love of your life’s heart in there. Even after Liam had left the room a couple nights ago it felt tense in there. It was like walking into a disaster zone after a bomb had gone off; it would never be the same. You would never be the same, but it was time to move forward. You checked out of the room and headed over to the venue yourself. The break was finally over and it was time to get back to work. 

From the moment you got there you found a comfortable corner and immersed yourself in your photos. You were desperate to get back to normalcy, and this was the best way you knew how. Your work might not have been able to provide you with much solace over the last couple days, but with every photo you edited you began to feel calmer and calmer. Finally, it felt like you could breath and like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You were finally able to look past what Liam wanted and tell him what he needed and more importantly what you wanted. You wished you could see it sooner, but being with Liam wouldn’t make you happy; not anymore. What you were feeling wasn’t love. Not romantic love anyway. You cared so much about Liam and you would do anything you could to help him, but you had confused concern and the desire to help with love, which was only exacerbated by the unresolved marriage and divorce situation between the two of you. Your romantic history with Liam had confused what you really felt and had gotten in the way of what you really wanted in life. You felt silly for not seeing it before, but now that you had you felt lighter. For the first time in weeks you felt like yourself again. 

It was a couple hours before anyone else showed up at the venue. Soon the quiet corner that helped you finish the mountain of work that you had neglected was a very loud corner and it was time to relocate. You picked up all yourself and set off to find a new hiding spot while also attempting to hide from anyone that might want to talk about the Liam situation with you. Unfortunately, the only person that didn’t want to talk to you was the one person you wanted to talk to. Harry would probably be avoiding you like the plague, but you desperately wanted to tell him that you had finally made a choice and that there really was no choice at all. Harry had been the one for you all along and you were just too blind to see it. He was patient, and kind, and made you feel normal, and it wasn’t ever hard with him, which sounded like the best thing right now. You were wrong when you thought you were in love with both Liam and Harry; there was really only room in your heart for Harry. 

While you looked for Harry to orchestrate an ‘accidental’ run in, you came face to face with Maddie who looked as though she had been looking for you for hours. Before she said anything to you she grabbed you by the elbow and pulled you into the first quiet area she could find. Then, instead of explaining why she had kidnapped you she just looked at you.

“Um, can I help you?” You ask.

“What the hell happened with Liam?” She countered. 

“What do you know?”

“I know that he looked...lets just say he was in rough shape this morning.” Maddie tells you. “I take it you met up with him the other night? After you left me?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“Was that really a good idea? You were practically in a catatonic state that night.” Maddie reminds you. 

“We’ll it wasn’t like I planned it. I went up to my room and he was waiting for me there.” You explain. “I wasn’t planning on having any life changing conversations, but then I told him what happened with Harry and we started talking about it all and he kept saying that he belonged together and that he was better and then it all just came out.”

Maddie looks at you sympathetically. 

“He looked heartbroken.” You say. “He said he would never forgive me, but I had to put an end to it. I can’t be with him, Maddie.”

“I know.” Maddie says. “Are you okay?”

“Strangely, yes.” You tell her. “I mean I hate that I hurt him, and it really sucked to be the one to tell him that he’s not ready to be with anyone. But I feel okay. Lighter. Like we can all finally move past it. Is he okay?”

After how Liam left two night you were sure he wouldn’t be. It would take time; you yourself spend the entirety of the day after processing the whole thing. But you were sure that once he was actually better he would see that you were right not to get back together. Like you were before, he was too close to it. He was even close to it than you were. Before Liam reappeared, you hadn’t really thought about him that much. For Liam, it was all he thought about for over a year and now he had been told that it wasn’t going to happen. It would be a little while until he was okay with that fact and you understood that. You just hoped he wouldn’t let it stand in the way of his happiness. You hoped he would be able to forgive you in time. 

“I’ll keep an eye on him.” Maddie tells you.

“I’m honestly surprised he’s still here.”

“I guess you’re not the only one that has the touring bug.” Maddie tells you. “He got right to work once we got here.”

“Good.” You say. Touring was what helped you when it ended the first time. Maybe Liam would find solace in his work too. “Have you seen Harry?”

“Yeah.” Maddie says.

“And did he seem…”

“In a talking mood?” Maddie finishes for you.

“Yeah.”

“Well, he seemed better than Liam.” Maddie tells you. “What are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know.” You tell her. “I mean it all just happened and I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see let alone talk to. There’s so much I want to tell him and I know I should have figured it all out much much sooner, but still I think he should know. And I just want to talk to him, and apologize, and just be around him without this being a huge thing, but at the same time I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want anything to do with me after how much drama I caused. I just…what?”

Maddie as staring at you blankly.

“What?” You repeat.

“I was just wondering how long you would keep talking if I just let you go on.” Maddie teases.

“It’s not funny, Maddie. I don’t know what to do here.” You say with a little whine. “I just really need to talk to him.”

“So, talk to him.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” You pause and look at her with confusion. “Am I missing something here?”

“(Y/N), Harry couldn’t hate you if he tried.” Maddie informs you. “I’m sure he wants to talk to you too, even if he did technically break up with you yesterday.”

“Thanks for reminding me.”

“You hurt him and he wanted you to know that. He may not be ready to totally forgive you yet, but I think you owe it to him to know where your head is at for both or your sakes.” Maddie advices. “You know what you want now, and Harry should know that that’s him. The drama’s all over now so you can try to talk to him and he’ll either blow you off, which I doubt, or he’ll hear you out. What have you got to lose?”

Nothing. You had nothing left to lose. Liam was out of the picture and Harry had bowed out. There was nothing keeping you from being totally honest about the situation. The only one who could get hurt if you were finally honest with yourself and Harry was you. You were just nervous. You didn’t know what to say to him after being so close and then being ripped apart because of you and you alone. You were scared that he would tell you off again. You were terrified that he would never look at you the same, or that he would never speak to you again. It would simply break your heart if your relationship with Harry, whether that be as friends or otherwise, was irreparable. But the truth was you deserved whatever Harry had to say to you and you deserved hid cold shoulder of that’s what he wanted to give you. You just had to suck it up and go talk to him. 

“Okay.” You say and take a deep breath. “Do you know where he is?”

“His dressing room with Louis.” Maddie tells you. “It’ll be okay.”

“We’ll see about that.”

You slowly walk toward Harry’s dressing room. With every step your heart beats fast and fast, and you feel your palms start to sweat. You didn’t think you had even been this nervous to talk to Harry before. Everything was different. Everything was on the line, and while you may not be technically together right now, losing Harry for good would be hard to get through. It would be the biggest mistake of your life. For a long time, you thought Liam was the love of your life, but you were young back then. Now you had lived more life and you were sure that Harry was the one for you. You wanted him back, and while you would understand if he was done with you, you would still be absolutely crushed. 

When you reach the dressing room you take a breath. You knock on the door lightly and enter. Louis and Harry both look at you as you enter and you can immediately feel the tension in the door as if they had just been talking about you. Harry then quickly looks away, and shifted in his seat on the couch as if to get farther away from you. This was already off to a great start; you hadn’t even spoken and Harry was already trying to avoid you. He had clearly just gotten done telling Louis what had happened between you two the night before. You prayed this wouldn’t drive another wedge between you and your best friend; that was the last thing you needed right now.

“Uh, hey.” You say.

“Hi.” Louis said, showing not side of a future shunning. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to Harry?”

Louis looks at Harry and they seem to be having a telepathic conversation. Harry obviously didn’t want to talk to you, but for some reason Louis thought that he should. It was nice to know what he was on your side you just didn’t really understand why until you realize he must have seen Liam this morning too. According to Maddie he was a human disaster and Louis must have put two and two together. Louis always seemed to know the news before it was fully out. It looked like he was going to bat for you and trying to convince Harry to at least hear you out. Unfortunately, you weren’t so sure it was possible to change Harry’s mind on this one. It looked like Harry was just ignoring him. He got up from his seat on the couch and moved to the make-up chair with his back to you and Louis. Apparently, the conversation was over.

“I’ll give you the room.” Louis says as he stands up.

You suddenly get very nervous as Louis walks past you and out the door. Now you were alone with Harry, and even though you desperately wanted to, you had no idea how to talk to him. You never been at odds like this. You had hardly ever fought before, and you certainly never had to apologize for betraying his trust before. This, much like the entire tour, was uncharted territory. So far you had only made a mess when the unknown was thrown at you. The law of averages had to be on your side at this point. Like Maddie said: you had nothing to lose.