#childhood tbi

[possthrowaway4q]

I've learned/realized a lot about my health issues recently, and I... really need some opinions. Particularly from people with traumatic brain injuries. So I'm gonna share my story.

Major Trigger Warning: birth complications, asphyxiation, seizures, child endangerment, medical neglect

(Sorry this isn't under a readmore I have literally never been able to use them on mobile without breaking the post)

I was lied to about my birth story. I was told by my mother that I came into the world a beautiful and perfectly healthy baby (and in her defense she very well could've convinced herself of this). This is, according to what my dad told me now that I'm an adult, completely false. My mother and I both almost died. The doctors didn't believe she was in labor yet. Called it Braxton Hicks for multiple days. Wasn't until one of them actually checked and saw my head that they believed her. Came out completely blue with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and was totally silent when they unwrapped me. Had to spend multiple days in the NICU in one of those oxygen tents. Don't know a lot of the details because apparently it wasn't discussed much. No idea if the doctors said anything about potential long-term issues and even if they did, there's no guarantee my parents kept an eye out properly. Didn't find out until a few years ago that I had hallucinations and frequent vivid nightmares as a young kid and the person mentioning it clearly didn't think much of it, despite me vaguely remembering seeing two separate child therapists around that age. Like, early elementary, I think.

That's not the only event though. Summer between 5th and 6th grade I had a drug-induced seizure. I was being watched by a family member who was kind of notorious for hoarding all sorts of medications. Including ones she was no longer prescribed. She didn't keep everything in their proper bottles either, moving pills between and re-labeling them. Including putting prescriptions in OTC containers. I asked for something for a headache. She gave me a pill saying it was Tylenol - didn't even see the bottle it came out of - and left me be again. Wasn't long before I knew something was wrong. Thankfully, I had my phone in my hand and was able to text her before I lost complete control of my muscles. Dunno how long exactly the seizure lasted, but it must've been at least ten minutes because that's how far away my parents lived and they were there with me when it ended. Remember my dad picking me up and holding me until I could talk and move again. We never did go to the hospital. Idk if it's because we all assumed I was fine once it was over or if it was because no one wanted to get the family member in trouble. Would explain why she called my parents instead of an ambulance, I suppose.

Been thinking about that tonight. Realized I was never really the same after that. I went from all As in school to completely unable to keep up with most subjects. I couldn't think or focus, I was in a fog most of the time, was losing large gaps of time and couldn't remember both short and long term things, and shortly after that was the beginning of my three year long psychotic break. Everyone remembers how the start of middle school is when all my mental health symptoms went into overdrive and I was just. Notably worse. And to top it all off, I always have said that my memory of my past seems to only go back to a few substantial memories in 5th grade and everything prior basically doesn't exist most of the time.

So I guess my question is just... could I have brain damage? Birth asphyxia is bad enough, but a 10+ minute long seizure as a child? I'm pretty sure that's way past the threshold of a medical emergency/when permanent brain damage can start. But every time I mention the idea to anyone, it gets brushed off. Either because I "don't need another thing wrong with me" or "does it really matter?" or because neither thing are your typical ideas of a TBI.

Sure, I've got a bunch of other reasons I could have these symptoms. Even just on the mental health side, ADHD, autism, psychosis, dissociative disorder stuff, and it's been too long for any doctor to say definitively one way or the other if they even take me seriously. But... I don't know, could those have contributed? Hell, could that be the root source of some of it that no one connected to because we never talked about it after the fact? (I even completely forgot for a long time. Didn't think it was a big deal. Didn't really understand seizures at the time.) I can't emphasize enough how drastically my health changed after that seizure. But maybe it was just puberty or the increase in difficulty/stress from going from elementary to middle school.

Surely it's possible though that those things at least exacerbated underlying issues or something? I guess the root of my question is whether the traumatic brain injury community would have me. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully, publicly identify that way, but I still desperately want to know if I'd be welcomed if I tried. Could I really have brain damage or am I just being dramatic or a hypochondriac or something? I just wanna know why I'm so fucked up in the head.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

anyway. gillions hair is the texture of green algae and he bites things and has a big fatty muscular fish tail and when he switches from breathing with his gills to breathing with his lungs he has to empty all the water out through his mouth and its really gross and hes got claws and scratches things by accident a lot and hes not a very good singer but he does it anyway and pretzel is a therapy animal and his corals will bleach if he doesnt take care of them so they start going pale if he gets sick/hurt and his skin is sort of rubbery and he eats raw fish straight from the ocean with his teeth and he is deeply deeply superstitious and sorta paranoid and on guard 101% of the time because of how he was raised and hes gullible and dumb sometimes but hes not stupid hes just out of his element

[strawberrymangosoda]

if anyone wishes to yell at me abt jedtavius...my dms and asks are open HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[fictropes]

not saying this irl because of the whole 12 week thing but I’m vibrating so need to yell somewhere. I am pregnant ?????

[backspacingmyself]

17/02/2024, 14.30pm

All my dad has ever shown us is problems

[flownintothesun]

"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓..."

            ⋆ ✰ ⋆ ─── a legacy post for @batteredoptimist dated 28 July 2022.

      𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐋 out of him, like the sea itself come like the Devil to collect a soul that he’s unaware he’s bargained with. There are still pieces of him missing, and his mam says to give it time — that things come sometimes when least expected. It’s not the places shrouded in fog that devastate him. More often than not, it’s how ready he is to cry at simple, tender things. He’s been told this is normal too, after nearly dying. That there’s a new perspective on life.

    But Westley isn’t seeing anything in brighter colors — he hasn’t had some massive epiphany. He doesn’t remember if there’s anything at the end of the tunnel, or if there’s a light at all. What he does know is that it’d taken him over a month to come back to them, and now Muriel’s looking at him laid bare while James waits in the other room and it’s like he fucking knew. It’s like he knew what would happen. Westley’s stripped to nothing but his flesh and the scar that one side of his head’d been shaved down for, another that he can’t see on his back, a new one on the thighs that lovers kiss. And another here, and another here. He’s still walking with a limp and needs the bed arranged a certain way to lay on his back.

     No, Westley’s not reeling in an abundance of emotion from the pieces of his mind that he’s missing. He’s — it’s just so much. What Muriel and James must’ve gone through. What his body’s going through. That Muriel can look at him — the jagged and broken edges of a man and call him beautiful....

  And the bastard knew. Thought it through well enough to take the chance in getting Westley undressed alone. To cry in front of one is bad enough. To cry in front of both — when there are days they look at him as though they’re still uncertain that he’s their Westley...

   It’s too much.

  Shoulders heave and shake, and he looks up helplessly at his husband, who draws him in, strong and steady with soothing circles traced into the back of his head, voice low in the place it rumbles through his chest against Westley’s ear, “I know.”

    And he’s almost angry at how many tears he’s held back in worse situations. Why here, why now? When his husbands are trying to love him? When they’re trying to piece him back in to their ever-changing puzzle? He clings onto Muriel, and soon enough, he feels James’s gentle embrace from his other side, gently against his healing back. He doesn’t realize how much he needs them both until he does. And so he lets go of being the strong one, just this once. “Need you both. ‘m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m sorry. I love you, I love you.”

    As love surrounds him, he thinks he can feel it then — the certainty of its light. It’s over. It’s really over. They have each other, for good.

    I don’t want to be alone, says some part of him that just knows that it would be the worst thing in the world. Who clings to love desperately, like a child, like the little boy whose father had left him in Zandvoort, confused and broken.

    You don’t have to be, says the arms wrapped around him here, at his worst, when he needs them most.

[rainy-weather-supremacy]

My thoughts/ideas on a TMA musical

(If anyone wants to help me with this it would be apprechiated 😭😭)

(Under the cut because it's kinda long)

Act I: Introduction, Prentiss & Shenanigans A

Act II: Shenanigans B; Unknowing & Shenanigans C

Act III: Door and Eyepocalypse

TMA important plot points

Act I

Jon hates Martin

Bicon Tim!! 💖��💙

Prentiss

Michael (Sasha & Helen)

Not!Sasha

Rip Gertrude

Paranoia

Homophobic vase

Table

Leitner

Wanted :(

Georgie & Admiral

Jude

Mike & Daisy

Elias is evil???? 😱😱😱

Act II

Kidnapping

Helen

Jon & Tim trauma 😃👍🏽

Unknowing

Rip Daisy

Zzzzz

Melanie 🔪

Non-Human

Bone 🦴

Oh hey Daisy! :D

🔪👁 Melanie uhoh

Lukas & lonely

Jmart (Cows)

Akt III

Eyepocalypse

Kicking the asses of various Avatars

Martin 😶‍🌫️😭

Rip Daisy 2 electrical boogaloo

Salesa

Tower

Annabelle (But musical plot)

Rip boys 😭🥲😔🫡

Stuff

Peter only shows up at the end when he has to, other than that he is either not there or poorly hidden. He doesnt want people to see him.

Annabelles plan is for a musical instead

Jon feeds on the applause after a number

Not!Sasha always loudly declares to the audience that she is Sasha and that the other actor is…. Taking a break. :)

Jon and Tim sing about their childhood trauma (Daisy: I killed a man when I was eleven. Jon and Tim: 😟 [End song]) 

Unknowing is Nikolas villain song

Worm song

Statements are short songs Jon/Statement givers burst out into

Elias interruping Jon‘s song abt how he is finally happy (😭) and forcing him to sing a duet with him in mag 160

Annabelles evil song sounds like she's a grade 2 teacher and explaining why pandas are bears or whatever. Yeah that but she keeps starting out easy and then gets too complicated quickly so she has to start again

Distortion pops out of random doors that led to entirely different places just before and after

Helen slams the door into Michaels face when she enters and he dies(™️)

The 'crawls and chokes and blinds and falls' part is a rap

Helen falls through the trap door floor when she dies (maybe?)

Toothrotting Jmart fluff. I can do what I wnat tbis is my musical

Sad ending

One or more person sees the audience (Elias; Anabelle; Jon (as the pupil); Not!Sasha; Helen; More?)

While Jon is in a coma, calm music plays. There is screaming in the background and Melanie running around with knifes, first being chased by something and then chasing something. Both she and the thing leave through Helens door, who waves to the audience and then closes the door in a cool way

Mag 100 is a short comedic intermission you only understand 1/5 of

Every time Jon enters the stage after leaving, he is in slightly worse condition

I open the door immediately before the 2. pause bc big applause (When he says it the doors open for the break?)

Paranoid Jon song: I see you

End of S4 song: I see you (Reprise) [I know who you are / I'll find you out] vs [I know who you are / I'll find you and I'll get you out]

All the fears have a specific instrument assigned to them

Before the first pause, Elias is alone on stage for a moment, turns to the audience and bows. With the applause, a eye appears on/over him by projector

Spotlight as a symbolisation of the eye, something that might be seen as a blessing but becomes a curse if unwanted. It turns on during statements etc and in the tunnels, it's a flashlight instead because they are illuminating themselfes. You walk and the light that shows where you are follows. Running from the spotlight.

Beginning, to audience: You are an eye. Watching over the people if the world for ages yet, there are a few people that stand out to you. Here's one that will become important to you soon. (Cue curtain open to reveal Jon at his desk going 'one, two, one, two, test, test'.)

Ending, to audience: You are an eye. You have watched this world for a long time, but now, it's time to go… somewhere else. (Before bows)

S4 Lonely song called 'no one but you' where Perter is like 'you have no one but you' and Martin agrees and sings along but when Peter is gone he thinks of Jon and sings it in a way that 'you' is Jon like "I have no one but you".

The people who get smited (smitten?) see the audience and are horrified

When people get smitten, a bright spotlight focuses on them and a soft green one on Jon

Akt I

Beginning, first statement (Maybe it's only kind of a rhyme, not a full-on song yet)

More statements & Introduction to the Archival assistants (Martin is introduced first so that he's absent for the rest of the song) (I'm so smart) (Here we can probably also establish that Jon hates him and that Tim is bi?) (Also Melanie shows up for the first time)

-> What about combining those first two points and making like. An archiving song 🤔

Martin storms in with the worms in a jar (That in one scene, cut to a person going "youre saying that… [plot]?")

Sasha meets Michael and Jon first Helen, then Michael as well (A kind of spiral song)

Attack von Prentiss (Worm song)

Sasha gets killed & replaced (Maybe do something meta with the actors here, or just someone that looks completely different shows up wearing a 'the real sasha james' shirt?)

Martin finds Gertrude's corpse, notices the alarm is over and Jane is defeated. Does kind of a weak 'oh… I- I guess it's over' and stumbles away

They meet back up in bandages, not!Sasha is like "YES IT'S ME! SASHA!!!"

Jon's talking to the tape recorder like 'Idk I feel like somethings's wrong' and stalks on the archival assistants who are just like. Drinking tea. Talking. Doing work (or not). Meanwhile Sasha is in the background doing the most obvious and sus shit which he always just barely misses

Jon concludes that someone wants to kill him and sings abt it (I see you)

The song has an interruption with the others coming in for the intervention (And he only gets more paranoid after)

1 or 2 more statements are being read out during the song (or just the title/s said?)

He realizes that it's not Sasha by listening to a tape. In it, on the other side of the stage, Sasha and Tim are talking.  Not!Sasha tries to use her body to stop the audience from seeing this, but fails bc thats not really possible (walks around back and forth waving her arms so she doesn't acually block it for someone the whole time y'know?)

He says a final time "I see you" and the song ends

Jon destroy the table, Not!Sasha and Michael show up

Leitner uses the book to conjure up magical spirits (stage crew) and move the set so u cant see Not!Sasha anymore, which makes her mad but oh well

He starts to explain but mid-song Jon 'goes outside' and Elias comes in, finishes the song in an EVIL (😨) way and turns to the audience, puts a finger to his lips and leaves

Jon comes back and is like 'o shit' and runs away off-stage

Daisy and Basira come by to interrogate everyone (Show here Jon is wanted by police)

He stays at Georgies, who is cool, and pets the admiral

Jon sings a statement abt how Jude is dangerous and decides to pay her a visit. What could go wrong?? He leaves.

Melanie gets hired (Mention that she got shot by a ghost)

Jon's back from Jude and he has a burnt hand but is also on his way to Mike Crew- Surely he cant fuck this one up!

He visits Mike, fucks it up

Daisy kills Mike (rip) and wants to kill Jon but Basira is like wtf and stops her murder song before she can (Something like Get away with this?)

They all confront Elias an he is actually…. E V I L ?!???!!?? 😱😨🤯

Akt II

(First MAG 100?)

For the kidnapping, probably start with him kidnapped and then Michael shows up and is like "Wow Archivist u fucked up I cant believe EVIL SKIN STEALING DOLLS KIDNAPPED YOU AND WANT TO [plot]"

Helen shows up and slams Michaels door in his face and is like 'cmon lets go'

We need to stop the unknowing guys

Tim confronts Jon (Do not ask me what this means all I know is that here we establish they have beef)

Jon & Tim trauma song

They somehow find dynamite. Maybe one more short statement here as well?

They go to the wax museum and there is talking

Nikola villain song (aka unknowing) that ends with Tim being smug and also exploding. During the song there is a brief segment to what each of the characters is going through

The Martin also has to be somewhere here 🔥📃

Jon is in a coma and the Melanie/Weird stuff chase scene

Oliver comes by and he wakes up

They still dont like him

Oh so Martin is working for Mr. Evil man and also Tim and Daisy are dead?!

Statements

(Idk what happens here? Stuff ig???)

Melanie operation (Gone wrong‼️)

Jon realizes he's not really human anymore, which he kind of knew but still he comes to the conclusion that it sucks and therefore so does he (bestie please)

The coffin is delivered

He goes straight into Helens hallways and comes back out with a rib. While he's gone, Martin passes by briefly and we see how lonely he is.

Jon goes into the coffin and finds Daisy which is a song for sure

They come back out and Basira and Daisy are like 🫂

The Dark??

Jon finds out how to leave

Lets gouge our eyes out scene

Melanie gets her eyes' ass and goes away to kiss Georgie (Shes just like "guess ill go get rid of my eyes & kiss my girlfriend byyyeee")

Statement that is interrupted/just after it the hunters come and Jon is like "oh no the hunters from my trip to america" basira/daisy: "when were you in amerika???" Jon: "That time I came home and you said I smelled like guns. Anyways panik."

Daisy goes wolf mode very dramatically after Jon runs off stage to find martin

Elias and Peter (who we finally really ses) reveal the evil plan to Martin who is like "how about no" and then tries to stab Peter (or something like that idk) but there is fog and he is gone

Jon storms in like "MAHTIN!"

The lonely scene with the song

They are in a nice house and it's cool and fluffy

Martin leaves for milk and cows

Jon sings abt how he's finally happy and Elias gets his smug bastard ass in there and forces him to dance along and sing a duet and to fucking rap oh my god this is a crime (After all this time)

It ends with "I- OPEN- THE- DOOR!" as all the door out of the room open

Akt III

Jon goes into a song about the safehouse but Tim and Sasha sing a duet in the background 

They decide to leave

Helen shows up like the bothersome creature (/aff) she is

They meet the Not!Them

Smiting song, which is mostly action-packed but there's four parts and the third is MAG 165 (Not!Them - Jude - Lonely house - Jared)

Hunt song starting with Trevor and ending with Daisys death

Uptown house (Either off-stage or Salesa starts trying to sing a song but they faint and he complains when the lights go out)

Martin sings a duet with himself 

Jon kills real estate agent, which starts off as a statement but that one woman derails it

Short song abt the Eye & London

Song abt and/or by WTG about their cult where they 1) love each other and 2) deny being prophets whil the cultists sing a chorus about how great the prophets are

Jmart visit Jonah & Jon sings about how he could make things better in his place and gets more & more enthusiastic until Martin interrupts him and they fight (through song?), ending with Martin storming away

Jon sings abt how he knows what's best / Annabelle sings to Martin that she can show him what's best

Jon notices that Martin is gone and goes after him in a boat. (While he's rowing, Fight Song starts going "like a small boat… on the ocean….." and then Basira shows up and climbs in his boat and stops the song (shoots the speaker?) /hj)

Annabelle villain song in which she also explains the rift ("You've grabbed something/someone's attention" while looking directly at the audience. Jon, Martin & Basira follow her gaze but don't see anything) + for sure do the "You have no idea who's listening/watching, do you?"

They talk about what to do & vote that they'll follow Annabelles plan, much to Jons distress. (Make what they want to do very clear here)

Jon goes up, song where he gets his revenge (& ascends)

When he becomes the pupil and the song stops, Jon really looks around and sees the audience & goes kind of "What… Who- Who…? O-Oh. Oh." and stares at them before getting distracted by Martin arriving, who can't see them

Martin arrives and they talk and find what they have to do

Short but bitter-sweet last song together

Ending

Bows

[geddy-leesbian]

This isn't even the worst thing that happens to luis that chapter btw :)

:3

krauser just undoing all of the progress they made with trusting each other dont worry abt it

[3liza]

speaking of drugs i got my 250mg mexidol recently and i am a firm believer in this stuff. reviewing my posts here on tumblr from 3+ years of taking it on and off, the difference in POTS symptoms, pain, nerve pain specifically, and brain function is really stark. and i think larger doses (250mg as opposed to the smaller 125mg pills) are better. mexidol will keep me awake if i'm trying to go to sleep, so i have to be careful when i take it, but about an hour after a 250mg pill i will physically warm up and be able to take off the heavy sweaters and coats i usually have to wear indoors in any room under 75F. i start remembering things ive been struggling to remember, like words i couldnt recall or memories of events that i had forgotten. and most interestingly it seems to have restored my spontaneous idea-having. it's pretty normal for artists and writers and musicians to just have concepts or "paintings i would like to do" or "this would be a good plot for a story" come to them randomly while sitting around, i dont think every creative works that way but i think most of us experience it when our brains are running well. that brain function, which usually is one of my most reliable brain functions, has gotten extremely bad for me in the past ten years from what i assume is childhood TBI catching up to me, postviral neurological damage from covid and other stuff, general allostatic load, etc. mexidol doses seem to be correlated with Having Ideas, which is really interesting.

all of which is expected behavior based on mexidol's mechanism of action, which is a systemic antioxidant that increases blood perfusion throughout the entire body and is able to cross the blood brain barrier. i'm very interested to see what comes of the recent patent announcement in Canada as hopefully more research will be done in English.

[cripplecharacters]

I have a disabled character (neurodivergence) who is non verbal - which are the most common disabilities that cause people to be non verbal? Autism is the only one I can find and I already have quite a few autistic characters and want to add more diversity in different types of neurodivergence. Ty!

Hello asker!

So, here's a couple of reasons people might be nonverbal, and I am including physical disabilities as well as neurodivergence.

Developmental Apraxia of Speech, also known as Childhood Apraxia of Speech or Developmental Verbal Dyspraxia, is when from birth the person has trouble planning to move the body parts required to speak (so like, lips, tongue, jaw, etc). It can improve with speech therapy in some

Apraxia of speech is the more general category for the above. This can be acquired, especially from strokes or traumatic brain injuries (TBI).

Dysarthria, which when total is referred to as anarthria, is when there's a neurological injury to the physical muscles that are needed to speak (again, lips, tongue, jaw, etc). Problems with swallowing are common too, since this has to do with muscle weakness rather than motor planning like apraxia of speech. This isn't a physical injury to the muscles, but rather to the brain part that controls them. It can be caused by genetic conditions, traumatic conditions (like strokes or TBIs), cerebral palsy, and more.

This means that generally speaking, conditions like Cerebral Palsy, Traumatic Brain Injury, and strokes can potentially cause a person to be nonverbal, whether due to the above reasons or others.

Intellectual Disability, whether it co-ocurrs with autism or not, can also cause difficulty speaking or an inability to speak. Intellectual disability is a condition that generally causes difficulties with things like reasoning, learning, and problem solving as well as adaptive functioning, which are skills used to navigate life – social, language, communication, practical, etc.

This isn't meant to be an exhaustive list, but generally they are not completely uncommon.

Here is another previous post we've answered, too!

Hope this helps!

– mod sparrow

[disasterfandoms]

Dating Jason Hayes || A Seal Team Headcanon

Requested: Nope! Just felt like writing Jason :)

TW: talk of death, talk of TBI, talk of war

A/N: Jason is such a complex character that I hope I do him justice. Thanks for reading!

Jason may be a stubborn pain in the ass, but he treats you as if you were the only person in his world.

He can't and won't talk about his work, despite the fact that that's what drove Alana away. He refuses to bring you into his trauma, into what he sees in his head.

Jason would take you on trips, whether out camping or just staying somewhere on the beach. He wants you to feel loved, and that you're cared for. He doesn't mind you being at the apartment, but he prefers to be away from that space, especially because of the memories there.

Bringing you coffee the mornings where he has time before a spin up, as almost an apology for his job and being away from you for days.

At least, should he not have time, he will send a message so you know he won't be around.

Meeting Emma and her boyfriend, getting along with her and being accepted.

Learning about Philidelphia sports, and especially about hockey, so you knew what on Earth he would talk about after he watches a game.

Getting to know the team, and especially Ray, as he and Jase are best friends.

Kissing Jason would be full of passion and urgency, no matter the situation. He kisses you as if you were his oxygen, and he'd been under for too long.

Jason taking you to Bravo barbecues, and constantly keeping you close. It's not that he doesn't trust you or the others, he just wants all his free time to be with you.

Going on walks with him and Cerberus, in a comfortable silence. Those walks are one of the only times you can feel Jason relax, as if the beach clears his mind of everything except the present.

Being with him during his TBI treatments, playing puzzles with him and helping him through any side effects he may have.

Him eventually opening up to you about Alana, and his childhood. He's not one to talk about anything, so it meant a lot to you that he was willing to give you everything he could.

[bajablastflavoredsaxreed]

Hi there hello i have decided to write out all connections my brain has formed between the mechanisms and tma(gp) so here we are. please add on if you have anything i live on this shit

-disastrous effects on my spotify wrapped

-mysterious tapes

-opening doors to apocalyptic events

-tim who blows things up (and fucking dies doing it)

-jonathan sims (and his naming conventions for characters he plays)

-frank voss playing characters who could kill me

-tim ledsam (having problems with Eyes)(do you see what i did there)(because. because gunpowder tim’s eyes got burnt out. but also bc. the character he played in tma gets avatared by jarchivist via the Eye)

-jessica law (playing a character trying and failing to be a person who is also associated with dolls and who has an unwaveringly cheerful voice)

-morally dubious characters becoming immortal and inhuman technically through their own choices but considering the circumstances that the choices were made under puts their autonomy and free will into question

-queer as hell

-tumblr-based fandoms

-extensive lore

-individual stories told with an overarching metanarrative throughout installments

-archivists

-others tragic stories told with an unnerving sense of glee

-twists on tropes found within their respective genres

-slam poetry-esque prose on occasion

-big ass polycules in fanon

-jonathan sims playing a tired grumpy nonbinary coded character who needs to Know things

-lovecraftian inspiration

-childhood trauma

-gay computers

-alexander j newall is there (to varying degrees obviously lol, he does show up like once in TBI)

-cults

-allusions for days

-british

-supplemental additions outside of the main story that add to the world and characters (fiction on the mechs website, what the ghost episodes and mag fluff:epiphany)

-great music (sam jones i owe you all of my worldly possessions)

BONUS: these are siblings. to me

[dracopaladin]

She’s built like a linebacker. She had a deeply troubled relationship with her mother. She has a lot of difficulty in social circumstances due to a childhood TBI. She’s so very horny. She knows how to dismember a body. She plays solitaire. She’s an ally to the LGBTs. She’s done a few kidnappings. She’s even brunette. I didn’t say a name, but she popped into your head, didn’t she?

[acearohippo]

Don't mind me, just rambling

Sometimes, I see childhood!Wei Wuxian and think "wow, the untreated ADHD is really powerful with this one". And then I see him post ressurection as mo xuanyu and go "wow, he really be suffering from that lack of oxygenated brain" and then I pause and think.

"Wait. holy crap... Did mxtx purposely make him TBI (traumatic brain injury) -coded?? Did she understand that, as he wouldn't be in his original body, the ADHD wouldn't've followed him, but mxy being legally dead for who knows how many minutes (aka, no oxygen/blood flowing to the brain) before the soul of wwx completely merged, WOULD cause a whole load of similar symptoms but with less executive dysfunction??"

Because if that was on purpose, I am blown away at the attention to detail. And if it wasn't on purpose... I'm still blown away at the difference! Not to mention, the more stable he became with support from Lan Wangji the less debilitating his symptoms were to him.

And I was already shook by Lan Wangji, Jin Zixuan, and Jiang Cheng's autism-coded personality clashes. It's not often we see (accurate) portrayals of when two (or more) neurodivergent characters clash, usually there's more emphasis on solidarity vs neurotypicals. There's no "trauma-bonding", no "coming to a truce through marriage", no "I hate socialising, you hate socialising, let's avoid it together". And it's accurate, because when stuff goes down and they need to work together, there's no hesitation because the expectation is that- well, they need to handle the shit that hit the fan. And when all is over and done with? They don't fall under the societal pressure to bond with each other, there's no need. They did their jobs, they're good.

Mxtx is just really damn good at writing complex characters with complex neuroses. I ain't even touch how you can almost always tell who's the "coded" ones in her stories and they're not all the same character archetype. It's glorious.

[bestworstcase]

Could a person get a new semblance?

If a semblance is the manifestation of a person's soul, could a person change so completely from who they were when they unlocked their semblance that it changes internally?

If not, then why?

generally my sense is the answer is “no,” with the possible exception of something like a severe TBI resulting in a complete break in continuity of the self (e.g. on the level of phineas gage)—because of:

ren’s semblance.

the schnee semblance.

during the beacon arc, ren is established to be a very quiet and serious person who doesn’t express his emotions except in very small, subtle ways. a bit later we find out that his semblance allows him to mask emotions, hiding people from grimm, which flawlessly reflects the person he was at beacon. then, through v4-8, his emotional walls start to come down in tandem with an ever-growing degree of pressure putting stress on his existing model for how to deal with problems until he snaps and begins to alternate between lashing out and gravitating toward a perceived authority figure to tell him what to do—he’s erratic and emotionally volatile bc the box he keeps his feelings inside is disintegrating and his childhood fear of making the wrong choice, doing the wrong thing, is rearing its head again.

so he now has to figure out a whole new way to handle his emotions, and by that what i really mean is how to live and take action without disconnecting himself from what he feels. this is a dramatic reversal from the person he was at beacon. when he lets himself feel, ren turns out to be someone whose emotions are actually big and loud and overwhelming; he’s someone who shouts when he’s mad and cries when he’s upset and blurts out a list of things he loves about nora when she tears herself down.

and what happens to his semblance? it turns inside out!

masking emotions -> revealing emotions that other people are trying to suppress.

concealing people from grimm -> tracking people based on “spikes of emotion”

but crucially when this happens, ren doesn’t lose his original emotion-masking semblance. if anything, that seems to grow stronger: in 8.13 he masks a huge crowd of terrified refugees for what seems to have been a fairly long time—without jaune’s help.

so semblances can and do radically change, but they do so by diversifying. you don’t lose the ‘old’ semblance—the you you were remains a part of the you you are now—but instead grow whole new branches.

this brings us to the schnee semblance, which is a) hereditary and b) by a wide margin the most versatile semblance in the story. telekinesis, speed, summoning of aura constructs, time dilation, and the glyphs are solid enough to use as shields and floating platforms. why? it’s hereditary. the sheer range this semblance has represents an accumulation of many different individuals who grew and changed in ways that branched the shared semblance in a new direction, and then—because this family takes so much pride in their hereditary semblance—taught their relatives how to do the new trick too.

basically, i don’t think it’s possible to manifest a ‘new’ semblance that replaces the old one because the semblance itself has boundless, branching potential; you manifest new forms and new pathways. the semblance is more of a toolbox than a tool.

[fefe-the-cat]

⚠️TAKING OFF FILTER PLEASE BE NICE IM LOWKEY SCARED TO POST THIS ⚠️

KOTLC thoughts/ideas/questions:

•Can they have congenital neurodivergence (as opposed to personality disorders [often a result of adverse childhood experiences] or TBI impacts [Mrs. Redek can confirm a bad hit to the head can cause mental health issues] or shattering)? Before you come after me, I am neurodivergent and as far as I know, the subject of things like ADHD/autism is only really mentioned as Sophie wondering if the Ability Restrictor functions like an ADHD simulator and we know elves and humans have significant differences. For example, elves have more emphasis on the brain but not as much emphasis on mental health. We also know they can deliberately regulate their body temperatures, suppress certain sensations such as hunger, and they pop out of the womb completely fluent in the Enlightened language.

•This may be a bit strange, but seeing as this is being posted on Tumblr… I just need to know if elves menstruate. They definitely have reproductive differences. Pregnancy is immediately obvious and childbirth is no more than a little uncomfortable. Multiple births are rare to the point of prejudice towards the babies. But we also know they’re not SUPER biologically different from humans or other organisms, really: they have toilets and defecation is mentioned. Also, Sophie’s biological (not necessarily neurological; developed several special abilities, one of which at the age of five) development was relatively normal. If elves don’t need toilets, there would have been major medical concerns. But I digress. Elf periods: do they exist and are they any worse than human periods?

•theory: elves and humans are actually the same species but they’ve been separated for so long that they just aren’t super genetically similar anymore. But we know they look like humans. So theoretically…

•Can a Pyrokinetic and a Talentless match?

•kotlc animated series. I’m reading the books but I am SO TEMPTED to write a script and stuff

•Gowns actually are empowering. They got that right

•theory: humans might be able to live as long as elves but we have toxic chemicals and no Youth so we age and stuff

•someone is going to learn about the French Revolution and kill the council. I can feel it.

•Would a young Pyrokinetic get in trouble for just looking at the fire? I feel like Kyrelle would just stare at her little fireball (top thought needs answer because it may be visual stimming)