#chief inspector keller

[findthefandom-orbecomethefandom]

You think these thighs are from signing arrest reports?!

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Podcast Elections: ACAB Edition

The introduction to this poll has been moved to the Voter's Guide (under the cut) due to length. Please ensure you are registered to vote in your local elections, should you be eligible.

*There is no lesser evil when the institution itself exists to exploit, oppress, and enact violence. I refuse to vote in this race, but I will vote in other races on the ballot.

Elections are coming up in the USA. I'm used to voting about twice a year, and understand how few measures and candidates are truly exciting to vote for. There's a lot of maintenance (renewing bonds and levies, voting against limitations to abortions, etc). Most candidates have significant flaws and even the ones who seem promising will probably fail to meet their campaign promises. It's boring but important. To me it seems that the dramatic races and measures are usually more threatening (so we vote against it) then promising (so we vote for it). City Council, County Chair, School Board, Water District, Library Board, and so on are all highly important, but candidates' platforms can be opaque, or there can genuinely be no good options. But if we want clean water, good education, freedom to read, an attempt at affordable housing, etc., then we need to care about these positions.

But then there's the elections that never feel good. The elections for who gets to lead the people we allow to murder with little consequence. The people in charge of institutions that I would rather be destroyed. Obviously there's the big one, but frankly due to the electoral college, the state I live in, and partisan races usually coming down to Party over Policy, voting in that election feels incredibly ineffective (but I do it anyways).

Another institution I don't like voting for is the County Sheriff, but at least my vote feels more influential here. As this is a nonpartisan position, this will be a runoff election. That means if no candidate gets greater than 50% of the vote we will hold another race between the top two candidates the following week.

[leliesblou]

Chief Inspector Alwyn "Gag-chewing, remember the academy, Fleet" Keller would admire Clara's gag-removing technique

[victoriocity]

A reminder!

All orders of High Vaultage by Saturday night (your local time) come with an early access pass to the entire season of Truth & Claw plus a goody box of victoriocity bonuses (a mini-episode where Fleet first meets Chief Inspector Keller, some Bell family shenanigans, and more)!

All formats are eligible, including the fancy custom Goldsboro Books limited edition, of which there are very few left…

Details of how to order and how to get your goodies at https://www.victoriocity.com/high-vaultage

[catdiscopalooza]

When listening to Victoriocity I have a really strong image for two characters. Everyone else is vaguely amorphous or "as solid and defined or detailed as necessary" like a memory of some you later release looks completely different. Anyway.

Fleet is Jude Law from the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies. Or the main dude from Carnival Row (how did I not realize he was played by Orlando Bloom???) (Only got half way through season 1, no clue if its good or nah) they look so similar

And Chief Inspector Keller is the cop from Transformers Animated

Why? How do they interact? I guess the brain rendering results in the kind of look that the 3d Tintin movie has.

[chemicallywrit]

My second favorite thing about the Victoriocity book is Chief Inspector Keller’s existence, which is also my second favorite thing about the show

I think my favorite thing about the Victoriocity book (which I am finally reading) is the constant confirmation of Fleet’s experience of existential horror. Like i frikkin knew that robot man was traumatized, win for wet cat fans everywhere, #poorlittlemeowmeow

[namewithak]

“The soon-to-be former Chief Inspector Keller turned to his third story window and saw, clutching the frame for dear life, the fugitive Archibald Fleet.” - Victoriocity, 1x06.

Been listening again and this scene just makes me laugh every time. Keller is hysterical.

(I posted a wonkier version of this on twitter and now I’m hitting myself on the head for not fixing the stupid windows in that version because THE SUGDENS LIKED IT. JEN SUGDEN QRT’D IT and now I’m embarrassed. 😭 But also very, very pleased.)

[littlebookreader]

Tim: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

[rachel-lane]

Another gem from the VICTORIOCITY podcast.

— Yes, Chief Inspector?

— Cancel my appointments, Ms Waverley.

— For how long?

— Forever. I’m retiring, time to get that boat I’ve always wanted and sail it into a typhoon.

[specialagentartemis]

Victoriocity Appreciation Week

For @victoriocity-appreciation Day 2/3: Favorite character / favorite relationship x2 combo!

I adore our protagonists - Archibald Fleet and Clara Entwhistle are both very fun characters, and their relationship is the core of the show and it’s heartwarming and entertaining and I love how they went from “annoyed (self-appointed) coworkers” to “inseparable friends”, my favorite dynamic - but I have to say somehow it was Chief Inspector Keller who accidentally stole my heart? How did this happen.

So have a silly ficlet about Clara and Fleet and Keller dealing with a very important topic... facial hair.

(Yes, this has been on my mind.  Yes, the detail about the law requiring members of the British army wear a moustache and criminalizing shaving it off because if they were clean-shaven they didn’t appear manly enough is real historical fact.)

Of Moustache and Men

Rating: Gen

Pairings: None

Words: 878

‘… and when you meet with the War Secretary to investigate—’

‘To snoop,’ Clara said, proud and more excited than the situation probably warranted.

‘We don’t snoop,’ Newly Private Investigator Archibald Fleet said, tiredly.

‘—when you meet with the War Secretary to do anything that you think you need to do to solve this case before we have to bother with it,’ Keller thundered forward, ‘remember that you are representing the entire constabulary to him, Fleet, and I can’t have you embarrassing us—’

‘I don’t work for the police department anymore, Chief Inspector.  I’m not representing anyone.’

‘Well, you used to, and you are still well-known to those that haven’t been following the news very closely as the hero or possibly villain police inspector who either tried to blow up the Tower or died saving it, and I will not have you disgrace the name of the department that you used to be employed under by showing up in front of the War Secretary looking like a fresh-faced dandy!’

‘I—what?’

‘I don’t think you look like a dandy,’ Clara said.

‘Thanks, Clara.’

‘Dandies are usually more handsome.  And more fashionable.  And they rarely look like they died and regret every day being dragged back to life.’

‘… Thanks, Clara.’

‘You need,’ Keller said, ‘to ensure the War Secretary knows that the police inspectors only employ—or employed, rather—the manliest of men, the greatest specimens of manhood the Empire has to offer, the glory of respectable masculinity!  You can’t show up with a bare upper lip like some poet who natters on about clouds, Fleet!  You need a moustache.’

Fleet sighed.  ‘Sir—’

‘Oh, don’t grow a moustache, Fleet,’ Clara said, ‘you would look horrid, and I could not share an office if I had to look at your mustachioed face every day.’

‘Do grow a moustache, Fleet!’ Keller said.

‘I suppose it would look funny, and humor is a balm for the soul when our cases involve murder,’ Clara mused.  ‘Perhaps do grow a moustache.  It would be good to laugh when we’re chasing despicable villains.’

‘If it were up to me,’ Keller continued, with no opinion offered on the level of humor that a be-moustached Fleet would present, ‘my police force would have the same facial hair maintenance law that binds Her Majesty’s military and I would personally arrest any man who dares to shave!  Yet my recommendation keeps getting rejected for “impracticality” and “we can’t even keep up that rule in the army, Mr. Keller”!  Balderdash.  Stop shaving this instant, and could you at least attempt for all our sakes but especially mine to have some respectable facial accoutrement by the time you meet the War Secretary?’

‘The meeting is in three hours, sir,’ Fleet said.

‘And?’

‘The answer is no, Chief Inspector, I could not.  And if I may remind you, the reason I took up shaving my upper lip regularly is because you told me that even when I tried to grow a moustache I looked like a bedraggled fourteen-year-old trying to lie about my age to go to Crimea, and that I needn’t bother because you got your first army experience at age twelve, they don’t care.’

‘They don’t, and you did.’

‘… so we’re in agreement, then?’ Fleet said warily.

Keller’s magnificent moustache bristled, whether in indignance or pride, there didn’t seem to be much of a difference.  ‘I am in agreement, and you are going to be in agreement with me.’

---

‘Are you mocking me?’ War Secretary Edward Stanhope asked, as he folded his arms and leaned sternly over his desk.

‘No sir,’ Fleet said, at the same time as Clara answered, ‘Of course not, Mr. Stanhope.’

‘What, then, is the meaning of what you are wearing on your faces?’

‘Oh,’ Fleet said.

‘Do you like them?’ Clara asked, preening her large and luxurious false moustache, a perfect match to Fleet’s.

‘I thought I would be meeting with professionals.’

‘You are,’ Fleet said, ‘I mean, we are.  Professionals.  I was, ah, advised to wear a moustache to meet you, as my natural one is not… up to military standards.’

‘And as his looked so absurd and patently fake,’ Clara added, ‘I couldn’t let him have all the fun alone.  And Chief Insp—I mean, our advisor, thought that two moustaches could only be better than one.’

‘What fool advised this?’ Secretary Stanhope demanded.  His own natural moustache, which Fleet could not help but notice was smaller and less impressive than Keller’s, creased as he frowned.

Fleet spread his arms in a helpless shrug.  ‘A fool who wants very much to impress you, so despite everything I feel it would be a tad cruel to ruin your esteem of him so thoroughly.’

War Secretary Stanhope held out his hand like a stern schoolteacher confiscating a toy.  ‘Take them off immediately.’

Fleet and Clara, with varying levels of shame, peeled the false moustaches off of their faces and dropped them into his hand.

‘Good,’ the War Secretary said.  ‘Now can we please return to what you ostensible respectable professionals are here for?’

Clara leaned over to Fleet and whispered, ‘I don’t think our snooping is getting off to a very strong start.’

Fleet unfortunately had to agree.

[hephaestuscrew]

I was procrastinating so I made some picrews of Victoricity characters 😊⚙️🔎 Here's Inspector Archibald Fleet, Clara Entwhistle, Chief Inspector Keller and Queen Victoria! (Sadly there was no facial hair options so I couldn't give Keller his mustache)

Heres the steampunk picrew I used btw: https://picrew.me/share?cd=8oWhBXusuy

[cherrybombdotcom]

If you aren't spending this quarantine listening to @victoriocity, then what are you even doing?

[weaverofink]

VAW Day 3 / Favorite Relationship / @victoriocity-appreciation

Fleetwhistle!! Fellas, it doesn’t get much better than a tired detective and a cheerful reporter who are probably far too excited to talk about crime with each other! Guest appearance by the Kellers, as the chief inspector wanted to get in his two cents and Margaret gave up on trying to stop him

(huge shoutout to @coelart‘s iconic fleet design, which I based my own on!!)

[ciotkahermenegilda]

Victoriocity Appreciation Week Day 1 & Day 2*

Favourite Episode: The Fortress of Westminster - aside from being rich with astonishing events, it contains a rather interesting glimpse into Chief Inspector Keller’s parlour

Favourite Main Character: Not sure why but a) I was sold on Fleet by his third or fourth line b) I immediately thought he must look a lot like youngish Joseph Conrad (was it the disillusionment?) in a bowler hat.

*I’m very sorry for the poor time-keeping @victoriocity-appreciation. I was detained by a spell of sickness.

[gay-impressionist]

Berena Fic Rec

Bernie x Serena (Holby City, BBC)

Disclaimer : I have never watched the entire show, only Berena scenes because they're hella cute (if you’re interested i can give you some links)

Thank you a million times @thasminlove for making me discover them ❤️

Without further ado here are my favorite Berena fics, in no particular order :

Wonderland by ddagent : 11k, Christmas fluff, meet-cute

Bernie and Serena meet at Holby Christmas market in 2001, 2011 and finally 2018

Murder on the streets of Holby by Squishmitten/@squishmittenficfan : 57k, Murder AU, slow burn

Where Bernie is a Detective Chief Inspector and Edward has been murdered. If you liked Gemma Redgrave as DI Jill Raymond in Silent Witness (meaning, if you're wlw because damn that waistcoat) please read this

if you want to be happy in a million ways by lavenderseaslug : 8k, Christmas fluff

Serena is alone for the holidays so Bernie brings her to her parents' house. They're not together at first. Pure fluff

concerto for two (hopeless hearts just passing through) by spilled_notes : 48k, slow burn, Teachers AU

Where Bernie and Serena are teachers at Holby Community School

Eye of the Beholder by kooili/@kooili158 : 72k, slowburn

Bernie has traveled across the world as an ophtalmologist to help isolated communities before deciding to settle down in Holby at Keller's Opticians. Serena, vascular surgeon at Holby City, needs glasses

her heart drinks wine by @ktlsyrtis & lavenderseaslug : 13k, no angst

Bernie and Serena meet at a wine club

Bake the Yuletide Gay by sevtacular/@slightlyintimidating : 6k, Christmas fluff, Bakery AU

Bernie is a renowned baker who opens a shop in Holby. Serena both falls in love with the pastries and the woman behind the counter... not knowing that it is Bernie herself.

shut up and dance with me by spilled_notes : 32k, Ballroom dancing, angst

Bernie and Serena discover they both love dancing and it becomes their thing outside of the hospital. Otherwise canon-compliant until after Kyiv

I’m a thousand miles away (but girl tonight you look so pretty) by spilled_notes : 17k, Journalists AU

Serena is one of the BBC’s top newsreaders and Bernie is a correspondent based in Middle East. They have a crush on each other

chapter two, i feel in love with you by @ktlsyrtis, lavenderseaslug : 15k, Author AU

Where Serena is a successful romance author who Bernie reads with passion as she is stationed in Afghanistan, so of course she goes to her book signing when the chance arises

Paradise Gained by ProfessorFlimflam : 27k

Serena is on holidays on a Thai island. Bernie is the owner of her resort

The Wrong Side of Fifty by @daisydoctor13​ : 63k, slow burn

Serena’s colleagues assume she’s queer and set her up on a blind date with Bernie. She assumes Bernie is a man and agrees

A Certain Step by sevtacular/@slightlyintimidating : 106k, slow burn, Ballroom dancing, AU

Bernie is a podcast host who is invited on Strictly Come Dancing. Serena is one of the professional dancers.

EDIT : i went through the reblogs and put the tumblr handles of the people i could connect to ao3 accounts. if i didn't, please tell me so i can credit you! 😊

[thewuzzy]

quarantine level is i'm in love with chief inspector keller, a deranged fictional police officer from a victorian parody podcast