#chicago fire otis

[persage]

TRUE COLORS - BRIAN "OTIS" ZVONECEK

'Cause my boy Otis deserves better

Summary:When you spend your time at 51, you draw Otis on the sly. Everyone notices it, except him. Until fate gets in the way

Word Count: 2.5 k

Maybe it's the way he moves his hands. Maybe it's how he moves the dark curls from his face. Maybe it's the way he wrinkles his nose when he's tired after the shift and starts working at Molly's, tirelessly.

Or it's the way he writes, with his head slightly tilted to the left.

It could be just the way the light fits between his features and makes him pure, bringing out his light skin stained by many small moles. Perhaps it's his dark eyes.

You really don't know. You just can't help but drawing him.

You'd like to draw his eyes after you've seen them even closer and realized how deep they really are, because you're sure they are, more than anything else in the world. Or, again, maybe it's the way he curls his lips as he smiles.

It's probably all together and he doesn't even realize it while a few meters away you're crouched on a chair, in a corner of the 51, almost invisible and your hand moves over a sheet and captures his image, without mistakes or smudges. You could be drawing Brian with your eyes closed by now.

"Are you still here?" Your half-sister, Leslie, asks, noticing you. You've been spending a lot of time at the 51 lately (and equally at the Molly's) officially because you're soon to be Boden's new secretary, secondly to spend time with Lesley. What you didn't expect was to find yourself spending most of your free time observing Brian, scribbling his face here and there, forcing yourself from time to time to portray other colleagues as well so as not to arouse suspicion. "Let me work Lesl" You reply, letting the pen run across the paper noisily. "Our Little Artist" Kelly teases you, ruffling your hair.

"When will you set up an exhibition with our portraits?" Herman asks, chuckling. "That wouldn't be a bad idea you know" Mills replies, winking. "Think about it y/n" You smile uneasily.

"I should find better models" You reply as Cruz and Otis - Brian - shake their heads. "Listen to the nonsense" Your eyes meet and you smile at him and he reciprocates before the siren of the imminent call forces him to leave. You sigh.

He fascinates you just like he torments you, you long for him and at the same time you are afraid to get to know him better. There's something sweet, genuine about him and you admire his courage and his work, but at the same time you're terrified because deep down what do you have to offer? What can make you interesting to him? You're just a failed student who needs to work here to make some money, a failed artist who has lost her inspiration, who can't help her sister in a difficult moment, who didn't get a degree, who can't control the emotions.

"You never color it" Boden has noticed one day, admiring your drawings. "I think it would ruin it" You have replied. The truth is that you are convinced that to do this, especially when it comes to Brian, you should need to see the color gradations of his skin, his face, his freckles or his eyes. It is incorrect to portray a subject and complete it inaccurately. You will use color on his drawings when and if you can see him at very close range. Closer than the Molly's counter or the 51. For now you settle for pencil or pen.

Sometimes you dwell too much on his well-defined lips. It's one of the parts you like to draw the most, after the eyes. Then you look at the finished drawing and wonder if you are experiencing something that will never happen, or not experiencing it at all. And with every call they come back with wounded expressions from a difficult intervention and some new scar on the body or the soul ans you wonder if it really makes sense to waste all this time.

It must be said : fate works in a curious way at times.

You're -again- drawing Brian, he's wearing his uniform and he's approaching the truck laughing with Mouch. The 51 is quieter than usual today and there are few calls, an unusual thing but you don't mind. You smile when Brian turns to face you and pretend to be focusing on someone else, momentarily terrified that he will think you're crazy. You place your pen on the table in front of you, tie your hair into a spooky ponytail, then start over with the care you reserve for important things. Brian  sighs, turning back in your direction, Mouch's hand on his shoulder as he shakes his head repeatedly. You wonder what they're talking about, you get the distinct feeling that it's you, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest.

Stupid little girl.

" Someone has a crush" it's a voice behind you. The worst voice you could hear in this situation: Joe Cruz. Brian's best friend, roommate, his other half.

"Of all of us Otis? Why?" Cruz sits across from you, a hand under his chin and an inquisitive expression on his face that does not hide his happy grin. And you're terrified, now there's no way Brian won't know about it now. "I don't have a crush. I draw all of you Cruz" you reply, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks.

"Yeah sure. You draw me once in a while, once of Herman, maybe three times of Kelly because it's particularly handsome, but I'm sure most of them are about Otis." You shake your head.

"What makes you think that?"

"I've been watching you Little Shay. You know, it's pretty obvious. You're not as good as you think at hiding." You open your eyes suddenly and feel your face get hot with embarrassment. Brian's eyes are still fixed on you and this with Cruz's words short-circuit you.

"If I were you I'd make a move" You need some fresh air. You get up and head for the exit, forgetting the notebook with your drawings on the table in a hurry.

When you come back for it, an hour and two cigarettes later, it's gone.

Two days, seven hours and a new notebook later, your half-sister has abandoned you at Molly's, a beer in front of you to finish and the light chatter of the last remaining customers. Someone sits next to you and lets their chair clatter to the floor. You don't turn around and stay focused on the beer because you know all too well who's next to you. Your senses alert, your heart furious. Brian.

"It's amazing" the voice is warm, but slightly high in pitch and secretly insecure. You shrug. "Thank you" you reply. Your brain is so muddy that you don't even wonder what it's referring to

"This is yours" now you look up and you see it. Brian's hand just reaching out to give you back the notebook. You stare at him dumbfounded. You admire the way the light falls on his face, how he smiled lightly and the lips you've always drawn so carefully, even more beautiful at that non-distance. For several seconds you don't say anything, but you stay still to study him, to study his colors, his embarrassed, sweet expression. Everything seems to stop to you.

"Otis, can you close?" Question Herman before leaving the pub, making you awaken and ashamed at the same time, realizing what you're getting into. You take the notebook without saying a word and start to get up and leave, but the boy's hand stops you, gently grabbing you by the wrist. It is soft, despite the hard work his skin is not rough. His warm skin seems to burn yours, leaving invisible marks.

You look at his fingers wrapped around your wrist, then at him, his dark eyes still fixed on you. He lets you go slowly, almost reluctant to break the contactn and you realize that he has the power to make you sit back, without saying a word.

"Sorry," you say sheepishly, looking away and letting your hair fall in front of your face to cover the blush on your cheeks.

"You shouldn't apologize" He replies, continuing to observe you. You feel his hand approaching your face, his fingers lingering near your hair, and you know what he's about to do, and you wish he would. You would like to him slowly pull your hair back, put it behind your ear, to let his big fingers slide against your skin and you would like to tilt your head to one side, to let yourself go to that contact. But he doesn't.

After a few moments he pulls his hand away, thinking maybe he's going too far.

Sure, your notebook is filled with portraits of him, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

"You're good" He whispers. "You're really good little Shay, you shouldn't waste such a talent." You just smile, let a sheepish chuckle leave your lips. Brian doesn't say it, but he feels like he's never heard a better sound in his life. He wonders how he didn't notice it before. Of course, as soon as you arrived at 51 he immediately set his sights on you, but he never really did it with an intention: partly because you are Shay's little sister, partly because he never thought he had any chance despite what Cruz said.

In short, Cruz doesn't always have brilliant intuitions when it comes to women.

Maybe Dawson's jokes could have enlightened him, sure, but anyway...Brian has never been a phenomenon with girls, in a barracks full of men like Kelly Severide why would you have to look at him? And instead you looked at him all the time, drew him so much that it filled entire pages, tracing his features with a pen and making him look much more handsome, bold, courageous, appreciable than he probably was. Because you see him this way.

"At first I didn't know whether to come to you or keep the notebook," he admits. "Then I thought it was a good excuse to talk to you."

"You don't need an excuse to talk to me Brian" you answers automatically, without thinking. He smiles, feels his heart melt in his chest. Hardly anyone calls him Brian, especially at the station.

"I needed to find the courage" he murmurs, clearing his throat. "It's easy in the barracks, between one joke and another but talking... I mean for real... It is different. Especially with someone like you"

"Someone like me?" you raise an eyebrow as he smiles. He is impossibly beautiful as his cheeks turn pink.

"An interesting girl, a curious one. An artist y/n"

"You're the only one who thinks of me like that. Artist."

He shakes his head. "That's not true, we all think so and if you start showing your drawings the whole world would do it" You shyly grab his hand which is still on the table.

"Thank you, you don't know how much this means to me." He hold yours back and intertwines his fingers with yours. He seems made to hold your hand, he seems born to grab you, to keep you close. And you wonder if hugging him gives the same effect, if even his lips are made to kiss yours.

"Listen, y / n ...." he takes on a serious tone of voice and you almost worry.

"Why have you never colored me? I mean, do you see me in black and white somehow? Does my aura tell you something? I'm not an artist, so I don't really know how these things work, but it scared me to death. Do you see me in any strange way?" he looks nervous

"Is that what worries you?"

"What else should?"

"I mean you find the notebook of someone who drew you too many times to count and you're worried about the fact that I don't color you?" you use a hint of sarcasm, realizing this confuses you.

Part of you feared there would be a different reaction, not anger knowing Otis, but at least a detachment, a rebuke. Anyone else would have been upset, but not him, he seems happy. He studies you carefully.

"You think I haven't seen you?" Your eyes widen and total silence envelops you. "What?" You're the one who doesn't understand now.

"Do you really think I haven't noticed that you spent your time looking at me and drawing me?" he shakes his head, amused by your shocked expression  "You've been going on like this for months, aren't you going to pretend that you don't believe me?"

"I..." You can't say more. He laughs and you look at him, and then start laughing , because Brian has written "liar" on his forehead. "No, you didn't understand a damn thing my dear Brian" You retort.

"Oh I don't, but Cruz does. It was just hard to believe"

"And why?"

Brian doesn't answer, he caresses his goatee thoughtfully and you understand that you won't get the truth. Not yet. "Because you're beautiful y/n, people like you fly too many meters higher then me. In short..."

"I've looked at you from the start, Brian." You confess, this time without shame, your will to make him happy is stronger than any embarrassment. You know he needs to know it, to realize his value, for once to be the protagonist, the hero of your story, of your drawings, of your life. Him and no one else.

When silence returns, he turns to you again.

"So? Why didn't you color me?"

"I've never colored you because... I had to see you up close, really close, to be able to color you the way I want" you simply reply and he opens his mouth to say something, but he can't formulate anything, not when you continue. "Modigliani painted empty eyes, without pupils, because he couldn't paint what he didn't know: the souls of the people he was portraying. He only painted those of his partner Jeanne. I suppose it's the same for me. I can't color you without knowing the your true colors, without knowing what undertone your skin is or the paths that the veins form on your body."

Without realizing it, you've started to run your fingertip along his wrist, where the vein pulsates under the skin.

"Do you think." His voice is hoarse, scratched with emotion and excitement. "Do you think you'll give me the chance to let you find out?" He asks shyly. You nod with a slight smile.

"Are you asking me out Brian?"

"I'm asking you for dinner, then let's see what happens."

"Only one?"

"Maybe more than one"

[lovingmoon-rp]

ISO chicago fire rp!

hi y’all, i’m in search of a rp partner to write chicago fire with! i just started the series and i’m obsessed with it.

im looking for someone to write as brian ‘otis’ zvonecek against my female oc! i’m willing to double up, but please know that i’m still early in the series. but i’ll try my absolute best!

18+ partners only

discord rp

lit/semi lit style; i’m not too picky on reply length as long as i can go off of it

please reach out if you’re interested!

[kiddbegins]

All Day - Brian Zvonecek | 18+

Requested: yes

Word count: 2,788

Warnings: smut [dirty talk, dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex (womp womp), creampie?], aftercare <3

A/n: yeah idk hi

Masterlist

“Imagine how I good I’d feel inside you.” + “I didn’t know you were like this.”

Being with Brian was probably the easiest thing you’d ever done. Easily. He was kind, and gentle, and loving. Just overall a sweet charmer. Working together meant a lot of your time together was spent on calls. 

And today had been intense, a helicopter crashing because of a couple of boys flying a drone was not something either of you expected from the shift but regardless of working on different companies, you and Brian saved a lady’s life. 

And god did he look good doing it. No seriously, seriously, if it wasn’t the life or death situation of a lady you would have been ogling over him the entire time, but you know, professionalism and all. Regardless, the way he took control over all of it? Knew what he was doing? 

Hot. Just so extremely, extremely hot. And it had been on your mind all day. Especially now as you were in the passenger seat of his car on your way to his place. It was difficult keeping your thoughts to yourself, but part of you worried that he’d be, weirded out? That you were turned on by him just doing his job.

So you sat, legs pressed together and your hand innocently in his. Even now as he drove your eyes shifted up from where you two were connected, over his arm, his partially covered bicep that now out of his uniform was only covered by the short sleeve of his button up, and over his face.

“I can feel you staring.” Brian spoke suddenly, glancing over without as much as a turn of his head. Instantly your cheeks went red, turning away from him with a shake of the head.

“I- No, I was just, admiring.” You blubbered out, shifting slightly. Getting caught looking was one thing but getting caught looking because you were having a million and one thoughts of him on top of you was embarrassing to say the least.

Brian turned his head to you briefly, “Mhm, well stop doing that. Hair on the back of my neck is standing up. Tickles,” He chuckled faintly, squeezing your hand. He was very obviously kidding but still, you turned your eyes to look out the window

If you didn’t look at him then maybe you’d be able to control yourself. Except when you got home and he instantly fell onto the couch with his shoes kicked off, you couldn’t help looking over him. 

This time your lingering gaze was not ignored, Brian twisting to look right back at you, “If you’re gonna stare, at least do so over here so I can hold onto you while you do,” He muttered, his hand stretching out lazily.

You sucked in a deep breath before walking over to him. “Maybe I want to admire you from afar.” You teased, grabbing onto his hand. The warmth of his palm made you sigh, instantly being drawn towards him.

“You could but,” Brian yanked your arm just slightly, pulling you onto his lap. “I couldn’t do this,” He smiled, eyes sliding over your face. With your legs around him, you bit your lip, shrugging just slightly.

It took nearly everything inside of you to not grind down against him, instead putting your arms over his shoulders, one hand slipping into his hair. “Hm, you’re right. I like this,” You grinned, feeling his hands sliding up your thighs. “Yeah, like this a lot.” 

Slowly you leaned forward, pressing your lips to him, giving up on whatever control you had over yourself. Brian was just too damn intoxicating and you couldn’t ignore it anymore. Apparently he was on the same page though, his grip going to your hips just tightly enough to push you down against him.

A soft groan rumbled through you, repeating the motion, this time without any outside force needed. As soon as you pulled back his lips were on your neck – hot open mouthed kisses going across your skin. “God I’ve wanted this all day,” You muttered out, tugging just slightly at his hair.

The tickle of his mustache always made you squirmy, that on top of the annoyance in your pants made you rock down against him steadily, not caring how needy it made you look. “All day?” Brian muttered, pushing your shirt off your shoulder.

“Well, since,” A moan cut you off as he sucked a mark onto your collarbone. “Since that helicopter call.” You weren’t going to say anything but as soon as it came out, his hands slid up your sides, one staying splayed out on your back.

Brian’s eyebrow lifted, confused on how you decided you wanted him like this on a call of all places. “The helicopter call?” He questioned, tucking stray strands of hair off of your face. Softly you hummed in response, scratching just slightly at his scalp.

“Mhm, watching you take everything apart, and lifting it. I don’t really know. Did something to me.” You burned red as you admitted it to him. He instantly shifted to grab the bottom of your shirt, pulling it up and off of you.

The sudden coldness of the room made you suck in a breath, his lips immediately connecting to your chest. You held him to your chest, the growing bulge in his jeans giving you more friction, his hands grabbing wherever they could.

Your sides, hips, thighs, ass. Everywhere. If he could touch you everywhere all at once he would. “You know,” You breathed out, looking down at him. “When I first met you, I didn’t know you were like this.” 

Honestly, meeting young Brian Zvonecek his first year on truck was crazy. He was a goofy guy. His hair was still unruly, he’d gotten better at styling it now but you liked it before either way. He’d filled out his uniform nicely, again, not that you weren’t infatuated from first sight but it was more so the growing together that got you. And you were thankful for that daily.

Brian’s hands went back up your thighs, squeezing as they did. “Yeah, and I didn’t know I was like this, either. And I thought you were shy when I first met you... Now look at you, huh?” He always did manage to have a sort of cocky attitude when he had you like this. Which, lucky for him, was pretty often.

You left out a soft whimper at his tone, biting your lip. Brian reached up more, moving to unbutton your jeans, looking up at you. Easily you shifted enough to get them off, not caring that you were just in your underwear and bra, not when his eyes hungrily grazed over you.

Your fingers found the clasp of his belt and button of his jeans, looking over his face, “You’re overdressed for the occasion.” You leaned forward into his ear, whispering softly. Without any hesitation, he shifted you off of him, standing to shove off his pants, the buckle hitting the floor with a clang.

No matter how many times you saw his body it alway, always made you want him more than you originally did. Though, watching the button up hit the floor was always a bit upsetting, you always loved them. Especially this one, red, birds all over it. He was wearing it the first time he fingered you so it always brought back memories to say the least.

As soon as he was sat back on the couch, the only thing covering him being his boxers, he reached his hand out again. Easily you crawled back onto his lap, lips crushed together the second you could. 

Every movement together made him groan, his hands reaching around to finally unclasp the bra that covered your chest. As soon as it joined the other clothes on the floor, he slid his hands up your chest, cupping each breast in his hands.

Your back involuntarily arched towards him, his fingers tweaking your nipples as you did. A low groan bubbled in the back of your throat, bucking your hips down against him. “God Bri, you feel so good.” Each word was mumbled but he understood each of them, his mouth coming up to your ear.

He pressed a kiss right under it, still feeling you up, “Imagine how good I’d feel inside of you.” The words came out before he could even think them over, the pure lust and horniness front and foremost in his mind.

Neither of you were even sure what to say, you out of pure shock at his confidence and how much that turned you on and him out of slight embarrassment. Regardless it went away within seconds, you shifting onto your back and pulling him on top of you.

“Say that again.” You muttered, craning your head up to kiss his neck. He shook his head slightly, going to decline. “Brian, that was one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. Say it again.” 

That was enough to spark something inside of him, his fingers walking up the inside of your thigh, “Well in that case, I said, imagine how good I’d feel inside of you.” His index finger danced along the top of your underwear, agonizingly slow over the exact spot you actually wanted him, your eyes hooded as he looked over you.

Impatiently you tried to lift into him, his touch pulling away as you did. He kneeled back onto his knees, fingers racing up to loop over the band. As always, he hesitated, waiting for a sure nod and yes before doing anything. “Go ahead,” You spoke firmly with a nod, already lifting your hips up for him to remove the last layer of your clothing.

Brian pulled them off, his hands going right back to the upper most part of your thighs. Gently he nudged one of your legs around him, propped up under one of the pillows on the couch. “I ever tell you how beautiful you are?” He muttered, trailing a finger through your folds, collecting as much of your arousal as he could.

You nodded quickly, your hands balled into fists to try and keep yourself still for him. Not that he was much of a tease, not on days like this. He was always the type to give you just what you wanted, it was in his blood. He was a pleaser. And boy did he please.

So it was no surprise how quickly and easily he pressed his middle finger into you, curling it up like he had done this a million times. Your eyes glazed over his body, trickling down to where he moved his digit inside of you. “Fuck, Brian,” His name practically dripped the same way you were out of you.

He watched how you reacted to each movement, slipping his ring finger in as soon as your hips bucked up, unable to stay still anymore. Every pump made a disgusting squelch but he was hitting the exact spot, your hand coming up to grab onto his arm.

“Just- just like that,” You groaned out, nodding tightly. There was an attempt to keep your eyes on him. Really, but as soon as you started to clench around him and the outer edge of your vision went white, you scrunched your eyes closed. 

Brian slowly slowed inside of you, making sure to ride you out of the high entirely before he leaned over you, making a show of licking over his fingers. “For someone so gorgeous, you taste just as good.” He spoke, leaning down to kiss you before you could even say anything back.

Granted no words were even coming to your mind, just overwhelmed with the pulsing in between your legs. That and the bulge that was still hidden away. You reached between the two of you, palming at him. 

“I think these should come off.” You sighed out, him kissing your cheek, and then jaw before sitting back like he had before, this time discarding his boxers. Instantly you felt yourself clench around nothing, always a mess for him. “God, please fuck me.” You muttered, more so under your breath and to yourself but not unheard to the man above you.

“Trust me. I plan to,” He hummed, sliding his fingers through your mess, using the wetness to get himself ready, not that he wasn’t already completely swollen and dripping his own precum. You whined faintly, sensitive to the touch as you tried to push closer to him.

He leaned down, kissing your lower stomach before gently sliding inside of you. Your mouth gaped open as he did, your hand once again found his arm, wrapping around his forearm. Slowly he started to thrust into you, planting himself on either side of your head.

Your gaze would have stayed on his face if you weren’t distracted by the way his bicep tightened as he held himself up. And you were sure if you could see the way his back muscles looked right now, you’d be a complete and utter mess. Well, more so than you already were.

“This what you wanted from me all day?” Brian noted the way your eyes were locked on his arm. “For me to be on top of you like this?” His hips snapped up, the usually gentle man unable to help how turned on he was.

Having someone be so attracted to him that they were thinking about him at work? When they weren’t being all coupley at home? When he was just, being Otis? Just being Brian? It worked its way into his mind and each hit into you was enough proof you needed of that.

Your eyes went back up to his face, eyebrows pulled together as you nodded, “Yes, god, yes it was.” You moaned out, the way your mouth hung open the perfect chance for Brian to run his thumb over your bottom lip.

“How bad?” You didn’t answer right away, making him lean closer to you. “How badly did you want me to fuck you while we were at work?” He repeated, his palm pushed to the side of your face, holding you there.

The knot in your stomach was already tightening, everything about how he was acting simply sent you over. “So bad baby,” You whined, “So so bad.” A breath caught in your throat as you dug your nails into his skin.

Before you could give warning, your back lifted, electricity running throughout your entire body as you tightly clenched around him. “Bri-” His name didn’t even come out louder than a squeak as he kept his pace up, chasing his own release.

It wasn’t far behind yours, the man only stilling with a groan as he came, filling all of you up. Your eyes locked on one another, his thumb lightly gracing your cheek. Once you’d both pulled yourselves together he leaned down to grab his boxers, putting them underneath you before pulling out.

That was the only thing that kept your mess from getting onto the furniture but he leaned down, peppering soft kisses over your face, the hair above his lip making your nose scrunch up. He waited a couple moments before pressing a long and firm kiss to your lips. “You alright?” Brian made sure to question, taking your soft nod as a good enough answer.

Slowly he stood, grabbing onto your hands to help you up and into the bathroom. “Here, go to the bathroom, I’ll start a bath for you and go clean up okay?” His voice was soft, planting a gentle kiss to your forehead as you sat on the toilet.

Without another word he turned the water on to get warm before disappearing from the room, reappearing a couple minutes later with a new set of clothes for both of you nicely folded. “You want help getting in?” Brian offered, gingerly taking your hand to help you stand and step into the bathtub. 

The two of you sat there for a bit, Brian washing your hair for you while leaving more and more kisses over your shoulders and the back of your neck. Once you were out, dry and clothed, the two of you moved to his bed, his arms wrapped around you.

Slightly you shifted to face him, placing your hand on the side of his face, “Can I tell you a secret?” You asked, a smile fighting to grow on your face. He nodded instantly, mumbling an ‘always’ under his breath. “I love you.”

A blush crossed his cheeks as he thought for a second. “Can I tell you a secret?” He countered, raising his eyebrows together. With a giggle you nodded, already knowing what was going to be said. 

“I love you too.”

JOIN BRIAN'S TAGLIST HERE!

Tags: @winchesterszvonecek

[cherie-luvv]

Most of my comfort characters are dead or traumatized, that just says a lot

[collecting-stories]

Hey hey hope I’m not too late with this 🫢

100 Compliments - #72 "You always look good."

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek x fem because Otis always does look so good in everything he wears 😍

You Always Look Good - Brian 'Otis' Zvonecek

Summary: Otis dresses up for a shift at Molly's in hopes of impressing you.

A/N: Sorry this took so long to write! School has been crazy!!

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

"Look at you," Stella teased, pinching Otis' side as she walked past him behind the bar at Molly's . 

Otis flinched at the feeling, shoving her hand away, as his cheeks reddened. "I look the same as I always do," he defended. Still, he straightened the button down shirt that he was wearing, navy with little pineapples printed all over it. 

Stella was unbothered by Otis' defensiveness. She stopped and looked back at him, eyes traveling up and down as she assessed him. "I don't know, something different 'bout you tonight," she replied, "you do something to your hair?"

"No," he insisted, running a hand subconsciously through his hair. 

Sensing his unusually high nerves, Stella offered him a smile, "okay. I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I promise." 

Just like she knew he would, Otis deflated, leaning against the bar and looking toward the door of Molly's before looking back at Stella. "I've been...putting feelers out...I met someone, here. She works at the hospital and she's...she's awesome. Incredible. Gorgeous. And I just wanna ya know, look good."

Before Stella could respond to his spiral of nerves, a voice cut in from the other side of the bar, "you always look good."

Otis' eyes went wide and he turned quickly to see the very person of his affection, you, standing there smiling at him. 

"Hey," you gave a small wave, leaning against your side of the bar as if that might lessen the distance the wooden countertop created between you and Otis. 

Stella backed away, smiling from ear to ear and no doubt going to find Herrmann or Mouch (or anyone that she could gossip with about you and Otis and how red he had turned when you told him that he looked good). 

"Hey," he replied, mimicking your wave but quickly lowering his hand in case you could tell how clammy his palms felt right now. If Cruz was here he would definitely give him a hard time for acting like this. Not that anyone could accuse him of being suave but he wasn't lacking in confidence either. Well, he was lacking in the kind of confidence Severide or Casey possessed but he had a decent amount. "Can I, uh, get you a beer? Or something?"

"A beer is good," you replied, taking a seat on one of the stools and watching Otis as he grabbed a bottle of Blue Moon for you, "so...I'm awesome?" 

"And incredible," he admitted, a smile creeping onto his face, "and gorgeous." 

"A triple threat," you teased, "guess we're evenly matched then?"

It took a few seconds for the words to process in Otis' head, the recognition slowly taking over as he nodded almost dumbly, full on smile breaking through and ears going as red as the rest of his face was. "Yeah?" He meant to sound less like a question but he couldn't help the way his voice raised at the end of the word, turning it into uncertainty. 

"Definitely," you replied holding up your pointer finger as you listed out the first of three things, "awesome: you watched all the Star Wars movies with me in one sitting -"

"I mean, you can't not celebrate May 4th correctly."

You held up your middle finger next, ignoring him, "Incredible: you literally save people's lives like, on the daily," finally you held up your thumb, "Gorgeous: self-explanatory. Look at you."

Otis leaned against the bar, trying to look casual and not completely flustered by your comment.  "Well, I can't argue with that."

You laughed, "oh can't you?" and leaned over the rest of the way to kiss him. 

"Hey! No PDA with the customers Otis!" Herrmann shouted from the other side of the bar. 

You pulled away trying to fight a smile as you looked down the bar to Herrmann, Mouch, and Stella, who had obviously been watching you and Otis the entire time. 

"How late are you working then?" You asked, "I mean, how many bartenders does this place need tonight?" You glanced around Molly's, slow for a random Tuesday, and then back to Otis, "not that I'm suggesting you ditch your job."

"No, of course not," he said, already turning to Herrmann, "I'm gonna head out, seems like you and Stella have it covered."

"Whoa-"

"Have fun!" Stella cut in, smiling mischievously, "be safe!"

"Oh god," the pink cheeks were back on Otis as he rounded the counter to meet you on your side. 

"Hey, she didn't pay for her beer!" Herrmann realized as he watched you and Otis make a break for the door. 

[alotofpockets]

Right in front of you | Leslie Shay

Pairing: Leslie Shay x Reader Reader pronouns used: she/her Prompt: "Is that a hickey?" Masterlist | Chicago Fire masterlist | Words: 1k

You loved to cook at the firehouse around the corner, on your days off from the family owned restaurant you worked at. Besides loving to cook, it was also a way for you to see your girlfriend when she was on shift. The environment at 51 was also not bad, you loved being around the people that Shay called her family, even though most of them didn’t know you and Shay were a thing. The two of you didn’t mind people knowing, you just didn’t want to make telling people such a big deal. Severide and Dawson knew for sure as they were her best friends, and maybe some other people had guessed and just never mentioned it. There were however also a few people that were definitely still clueless, like Cruz and Otis, as they were about to prove to you once again, you realized when you saw them walk in with their eyes focussed on you.

“Good morning boys, how was the call?” You ask as you put some scrambled eggs and bacon on a plate for each of them. Cruz was quick to give you an answer, priding himself on saving the day. “I rescued an old lady from her house before it was engulfed in flames.” Otis quickly chimes in, “Not before I located her and told you where to find her.” It was adorable how hard they were trying.  “Sounds like a great start to the day, then.” You smile. 

You had been coming to prepare food at the station for a few months now. When Shay had breakfast duty one day she asked if you could prepare breakfast for take out at the restaurant, after she relayed the many compliments the team gave to the food, you had suggested coming over to cook breakfast in the firehouse once a week, much to Shay and the team's liking. 

Not a day at the firehouse went by without Cruz and Otis trying to flirt with you. Not responding to their flirts or not showing the same interests back didn't stop them from trying every time, though. You had mentioned it to Shay after the first time it happened, wanting to be open about it. She just laughed at their antics with you, before she pecked your lips and told you, “You just tell them off or tell them about us if it gets annoying, okay?” So far, you had just found it funny, and decided to see how long they were going to keep this up, still not in any way giving them a signal that you were interested in them, of course.

You were still making scrambled eggs when Shay and Dawson got back from their call. They walked right up to you for their food, a cup of coffee, and of course they started a conversation with you. When they sat down with the rest of the team Shay overheard Cruz and Otis whispering amongst themselves. “We should start a bet on who will be able to get y/n to go on a date with them first.” She exchanges a look with Dawson, both of them working hard on keeping their laughter in. Shay, like you, thought their antics were hilarious, so she didn't stop them, unless you would get uncomfortable by it. 

Shay joins the conversation of their other teammates. She gets tired of her hair in her face so she puts her hair up in a quick messy bun. “Wow, Shay, is that a hickey?” Mills gasps. Dawson turns Shay's head her way so she can see for herself. “Sure looks like a hickey, Mills, never seen one before?” The brunette jokes. The rest of the team starts bombarding your girlfriend with questions, you look over to the group as it starts quite the commotion. “Okay, okay, calm down. You all get one question.” Shay says, knowing these people well enough to know they were going to drop it.

Capp starts off the questioning round. “Is she hot?” He immediately gets a shove to the shoulder by Tony, “Was that seriously the best you could do?” After he shrugs, Shay answers, “Yes, she's very hot.” Mills goes next, “One night stand?” She shakes her head, “No.” The team shares a look before Casey asks the next question, “Does Severide know who it is then?” Severide answers that one, letting the team know that he does. Otis decides to ask the next question, “Do we know her?” Shay noticed that you were walking towards the table with your own plate of food. “Yes, you do.” She says. You can see their brains working overtime, and have to try to hold in your laugh, as you sit down besides Shay. 

You share a look with Shay, letting her know that however she wants to handle this, it is okay with you. She smiles and puts her arm over the back of your chair. “It's really not that hard to think of a person that you all know.” She says, pulling their eyes back to her. The arm on your chair makes its way to your side, as she pulls you closer to her. “She's literally sitting right in front of you.” After finishing her sentence she places a kiss on your forehead and keeps holding you close. Most of the reactions to the news were comments along the lines of that’s great, congratulations, or you’ve got to keep this one around followed by Mouch pointing to the food and then giving a thumbs up. Of course, those reactions were all great, however, your favorite reactions were those of Cruz and Otis. Their eyes widened when they realized they had been flirting with Shay’s girlfriend for weeks. 

The newly found information made the team quickly forget about the hickey that started the conversation, as the team was happy to see Shay so happy with you. They continued asking you both questions, how did you meet? and how long have you been together? until the alarm rang and all companies were being called to a scene. Shay kisses you before getting up, “Thank you for breakfast, baby.” 

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[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Who is a girl dad and who is a boy dad: Matt Casey, Kelly Severide, Brian Otis Zvonecek, Jeff Clarke, Sam Carver, Will Halstead, Ethan Choi, Connor Rhodes, Crockett Marcel, Jay Halstead, Adam Ruzek & Antonio Dawson?

Before I answer this I want to remind everyone that I don't currently write for Chicago Fire. I probably won't ever do reader inserts for it just because I'm not a huge fan and I feel like that show died a painful death around season 4. But I will attempt some of the headcannons that hit me the right way. This one was just too fun to pass up.

I didn't do Sam Carver-Sorry I didn't make it to season 11- I stopped at 6/7ish.

I also want to say of course I think they would be good with the other gender too. I just wanted to pick one to be fair to the question. I spent way to much time on this and made them way longer than necessary lol. Hope ya'll enjoy and thanks for the ask <3

Will Halstead: Boy Dad!

I think Will needs to have a son. I think raising a mini version of himself is exactly what the doctor ordered (pun completely intended). We all know that Will has a stubborn streak a country mile wide and that when he gets an idea in his head, he can't let it go. Could you imagine that in child form? His red headed little boy going through a stubborn streak where is sure that any green food is icky because he didn't like peas. How about when he wears his basketball shoes to bed every night of the season because he is sure if he doesn't his team will lose? A son would teach Will to be more flexible in his viewpoint because his son will challenge his- well everything. The questions his little boy will ask with have Will rethinking things he never thought to question.

The main reason I think Will needs a son is that he can heal the wounds his dad carved into him. He gets to understand the struggles of raising a child with a personality like his own. It helps him better understand his father's frustration but he also never felt more disconnected from the man. Because Will could never understand the need to make his child feel the way he did growing up. Disconnected and a disappointment. Will raises his son the way he would have wanted to be raised- with understanding, acceptance, and praise. No one is prouder of their son than Will Halstead is. And with all that love, attention, and support Will gets to see his son not only live his life but thrive in it.

Ethan Choi: Girl Dad!

I don't think that surprised anyone. Ethan is a hardass veteran. He is all structure all the time. He kept getting better as time when on but you know what would push him along and make him absolutely melt? A little girl with dark hair and lashes. He thinks he will be a strict parent-and when it comes to school and safety he is. She will learn how to protect herself and have good enough grades to do anything she wants when she graduates.

But when it comes down to the little things Ethan has a hard time saying no to his little girl. Because she is warmth and innocence. She is the biggest smiles and climbing onto his lap to cuddle. So does it really matter if her clothes don't match because she loves them. And who really cares if they have dessert before dinner on occasion. And how can anyone say no to her staying up late so that they can have father daughter time- even if it is just them rewatching Star Wars for the millionth time.

Connor Rhodes: Girl Dad!

Connor absolutely spoils his little girl- not with money- but with attention. He doesn't want a nanny or money raising his baby. From the very beginning he makes a promise not to miss a single doctor's appointment and he nearly keeps it too- an emergency trauma caused him to miss one ultrasound. He takes the full paternal leave that is offered through work to bond with his blue-eyed little girl. He barely puts her down not wanting to miss a minute. His daughter is the biggest daddy's girl. Her first word is dadda and she says it nonstop for almost a month.

When he goes back to work, he books mandatory time with his daughter. He goes to at least three tea parties a week. When she gets a little older, they share a hobby of making food. It starts out with her helping him cook and trying recipes together. When she starts forming a preference for baking the dynamic changes slightly. They teach each other recipes and are a dynamic dinner duo. There are some growing pains. Connor struggles with his little girl not needing him anymore. He has tears in his eyes when she tells him, "I will always need you daddy."

Crockett Marcel: Girl Dad! (This is also just true to the show)

Crockett cherished every moment with his little girl. When she is a newborn, he holds her constantly and lets her sleep on his chest. Then he starts using a baby wrap to carry his daughter and be hands free. The long stretchy cloth was supposed to be a gag gift and obnoxiously bright fluorescent colors with a bold feminine print, but Marcel wears it with a smile. (It was a gift from Ethan to welcome him into the girl dad club. He included a gray one too, but Marcel only wears the bright on around work and his collogues.) The constant affection because a habit and his little girl has a hard time falling asleep anywhere but daddy's chest.

Crockett is a constant picture taker as his daughter grows. He phone memory is maxed out with pictures of her. He teaches her to speak Farsi. Every important or emotion filled conversation between the two is spoken in Farsi. Every tragedy, accomplishment, argument, exciting news, heartbreak and success. There is a comfort in words and bond the word share between the pair.

Jay Halstead: Girl Dad!

Jay fully embraces being a girl dad. He dresses her in the cute girly outfits. He learned how to take care of and do her hair. He never found a braid or hairstyle he couldn't master that his little girl wanted. He even kept extra hair ties in his wallet because she was constantly loosing or breaking them. He let her paint his nails bright pink and yellow while he watched the sea hawk's game. He always got up to do the dance parties and twirl her around. He never complained about playing dress up or wearing a taira or a brightly colored feather boa. And he was always willing to give up his half of the bed so that she could cuddle up with him after a nightmare or just because she got lonely in her room by herself.

Jay is a supportive dad. He does everything in his power to give his daughter the confidence to do anything and everything that she wants to. He wants her to feel safe enough at home that she can be daring (but not unsafe) in her choices. She can go against the grain, and he will still be proud of her. He supports her when she wants to play softball instead of do ballet. Then supports her when she decides that she like science and then when she hates it. He just smiles and buys her lava soap and Gojo pumice hand cleaner when she decides to take an automotive class instead of economics. The only thing that Jay struggles to be supportive of is when his little girl starts dating. He reconned her first date he watched her twist the guys wrist back when he tried to grab her butt then storms away after giving him a piece of her mind. Jay is proud of her boundaries but feels guilty for spying- even though he didn't get caught. He stops spying on dates but can never stop himself from giving them the talk with his gun and badge on his hip (Even well into her twenties).

Adam Ruzek: Boy Dad!

Adam had a good relationship with his dad growing up. He knows what a good dad looks like. His father sacrificed a fulfilling career to be able to be there for his son. Adam struggles with not being able to do the same. He misses games and holidays. His son says he understands but it is clear in his eye that his is disappointed when Adam doesn't show. But he makes up for it because when Adam is there- his all in. He helps his son practice his slap shot and cheers the loudest at his son's hockey games, he helps him with homework (even when he doesn't understand it and has to google it, gives him advice on girls (even when he doesn't want it), and checks him when he needs it.

It takes a lot for Adam to hard check his son. His son is a good kid- even if he does tell him at 10pm that he needs a posterboard for his school project that is due the next day and it is worth 1/3 of his grade. But when his son vandalizes a store with an Asian owner to get in with the "cool" crowd Adam loses his shit. He might even be madder than the store owner. His son thinks he is kidding about the consequences- Adam is a cop surely, he can get him out of trouble. Adam makes him stay 24 hours in holding, then has to apologize to the store owner. The owner doesn't press charges. He has to clean up his mess and the rest of the store and work to pay off any damages- even those caused by his "friends", and he is grounded indefinitely. His son learns the lesson the hard way, but it sticks with the added bonus of falling for the storekeeper's daughter.

Antonio Dawson: I cheated with this one because he actually has a son and a daughter. So instead of picking I'm doing a paragraph for each.

Antonio is from a large tight knit family for better or for worse. That means for the first few months his fighting to be the one that gets to hold his little girl. He practically has to steal her from his mom, Gabby, and all the other female relatives. The only thing that is to his advantage is that his little girl loves him. Whenever she sees him she is always saying and reaching for daddy. She is a beautiful, happy baby with dark curls and brown eyes. Antonio buys a new gun and then another, and then another. He figures he will need them all by the time she finally finds someone worthy of her to settle down with.

Antonio raises his son with the expectation that someday he will be the man of the house. He wants his son to know responsibility and how to take care of himself and other. To stick up not only for himself but for others that can't. He teaches his son to be aware (but not fearful) of his surroundings. Antonio's son takes all of it to heart. When Antonio gets a call that his son had laid out a bully for teasing a shy bookish girl. Antonio doesn't scold his son whose suspension ends up being more of a vacation. He just asks if he put his weight behind it and pats his son on the shoulder when he said he had. When the shy girl starts coming over to help his son with his homework almost every day, he isn't surprised to walk in on them making out on his couch. He is, however, surprised when his son brings her to his boxing gym to show off and that shy little girl throws one hell of a punch.

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz: Girl Dad! (I added this one)

When he finds out that you are pregnant Mouse is afraid when he finds out that the baby is a girl, he is terrified. His daughter is so small and fragile. When she is placed gently in his arms his world changes. He has spent enough time at war to know that it is always the woman and girls that are at most risk. How could he possibly protect her from everything when there were so many bad people in the word. Mouse dotes on his little girl but keeps her close. He has worries that civil fathers don't. When she becomes weary of other people and children at age two clinging to his leg he wonders if it was his fear that was passed onto her. Even when people assure him that it was the typical age for stranger danger. Mouse painstakingly (and with Jay's help) starts to change his behavior. He doesn't want his little girl to have the anxiety and hypervigilance that he has to deal with. As Mouse eases up he watches his little girl's personality bloom.

She gets downright spunky. She is curious too. She learns technology with a swift ease. She spends a good deal of time on her daddy's lap and the clicking of a keyboard is relaxing. Mouse had found that it could help put her to sleep even on her crankiest days. He doesn't scold her when she starts taking things apart to put them back together. And while he does help and assist, he swears his daughter picks up most of her coding knowledge from just watching him. As she gets older he starts hacking her computer and phone to leave her cute little messages. When she is a teenager, she finally manages to hack his highly secured system back (She had the advantage of him being the one who taught her) When she goes to Tech school she is leaps and bond ahead of her classmates. Nobody is surprised when she ends up on government watch list and is soon offered a job. They want her on their side.

Matt Casey: Boy Dad!

Matt's son is his little buddy. Matt has wanted a baby for so many years that he is ecstatic when last little bundle is put in his arms. He does everything he can with his son and his son wants to do everything he does. He is his son's idol. He always wants to be at the fire house. He dresses up as a firefighter for Halloween for five years straight as kid.

Matt tries unsuccessful to keep his sons interested broad. He wants his son to at least consider other options, maybe going to college. His son is hellbent on going on being a firefighter. And Matt stops pushing after he threatens to go to the police academy instead. His son excel at during his training and Matt is so proud when his son graduates the academy.

Kelly Severide: Boy Dad!

Kelly's son is a mini version of him. Full of energy, testosterone, and charm. Kelly raises him with good manners, treat woman right, and to be respectful of authority. He also teaches him to question and act when the authority isn't doing their job, or something doesn't make sense of needs to be changed. Kelly's son is popular and plays football. Kelly goes to every game, and he know his son has a real chance at football scholarship but knows he is does not want to further his education and that he wants to follow in Kelly's footsteps to be a firefighter.

Kelly's son is a player. He goes through the girls in his high school (and multiple others). Kelly doesn't say anything- how could he when he had his own Casanova phase that took up a large portion of his life. His son should have fun as long as he is using protection. His son never brings any of them home for him to meet. None can seem to hold his son fickle attention. When his phone rings at midnight he expects a slurred request for a pickup not a fully sobered "I found her."

Jeff Clarke: Girl Dad!

Jeff's daughter is his princess. She is a tenderhearted happy little girl. He calls her the light of his life. They live in Hawaii, so everything is a slower pace. Jeff gets to enjoy the time with his daughter with nothing to rush him. They spend hours in the sun and on the beach playing in the sandy and splashing in the waves.

When his daughter is five, she demands to learn how to surf after a friend takes her out on their board. Jeff thinks it might be a phase- her just wanted to do it because she sees it every day. It becomes apparent very quickly that isn't the case. His little girl loves the ocean and asks him to go nearly every day. Jeff does one better than just taking her and learns how to surf too so they can do it together. He isn't great and she is much better, but she loves going out with him. He just loves seeing her so happy and at peace. It doesn't hurt that it he can keep an eye on the surfer boys that get more and more interested in her as she not only gets older but better on her board.

Brain "Otis" Zvonecek: Boy Dad!

Otis is a nerdy dad. He is the dad that does the Starter Pokémon test when he started to crawl (Charmander) and pick his Hogwarts house (Hufflepuff). Otis starts him young on all the classic movies and shows. Otis buys Legos for the two of them to build together (way before his old enough to really help. Otis reads to his on every night that he gets to put him to sleep. They start with short stories but as he gets older, they quickly switch to chapter books and Manga.

Otis doesn't know what to do when his son starts having trouble in school. When he is told that his son has a learning disability, he doesn't know what to do. Otis never had a hard time with academics he blew through his classes without much effort. He can see the absolute frustration in his sons face when he is struggling to read. Otis tries to help but his son, but it only seems to create more friction making the problem even bigger. The break though comes when Otis finds out his son's anger is a cover for his embarrassment and feeling like a disappointment. When his son accuses him of thinking he is stupid Otis' heart shatters. His eyes are water when he tells his son that he is one of the smartest people he knows- he just learns different his son breaks down and hugs him tightly.

[winchesterszvonecek]

are you trying to get us in trouble?

Otis x 51 gf yup

Trouble - [ Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek ]

Send me a prompt or a single word and I’ll write five-ten sentences/paragraphs about it

Prompt: “Are you trying to get us in trouble?”

Masterlist | Otis Masterlist

“Are you trying to get us in trouble?” Otis whispered, after allowing you to pull off his t-shirt in one quick motion, dropping it by the shower drain as you planted your lips firmly on the nape of his neck.

You said nothing, instead grazing your teeth gently over his protruding collarbones, in a way that had a shudder rattle up his body and escape into the air, making you smile smugly to yourself as you always did like to bask in the way you made him feel.

“You're not worried, are you baby? That someone might catch us in here?” You whispered, the heat of your breath puffing over his skin in a way that gave him goosebumps as your mouth worked its way back up, your hands running equally as slow up the length of his muscular arms.

“No.” Otis scoffed out, ignoring the slight touch of worry deep in the pit of his stomach over the very idea of getting caught. He swallowed thickly, pushing those nerves down further as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, angling his head a little to allow you better access to his neck. “I just don’t want anyone seeing parts of you that only I get to see.”

“Is that so?” You chuckled, guiding your mouth all the way towards his ear, pressing kisses over every inch of him that you could before you reached your destination, tugging gently on his lobe in a way that had him huff out a breath before you whispered. “Well perhaps I’d be better suited pinned to the wall, that way… No one will be able to see much should they find us.”

In one quick motion, you found yourself pressed up against the shower wall, your legs wrapped tightly around Otis’s waist as he held you in place. Your arms wrapped around his neck, fingers threading through the softness of his hair as he kissed you like a starving man, with such intense heat that it felt like there was steam in the air and yet there was no water to be seen.

“There… Now no one will see you.” Otis breathed out, taking your lips in his again as he rocked his hips against yours, a soft whine escaping the back of your throat as that hardness beneath his pants. “But that doesn’t mean they won’t be able to hear you.”

Like this? Apply to my Otis tag list here!

tagging: @sancochillo @kellykidd @violetmacher @kiddbegins @neapolitantoebeans @alexxavicry @babyyoda89 @wandamaxim0f @bloodybagels @stephydearestxo @evanbuckbuckley @annchersita @doublebassallie @orileyrandom @sjhhemmings @gretsky0321 @yeahnahalrightfairenough @h1_j1nx

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[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — CHICAGO FIRE.

A/N: do people still read for this show? Not what I originally planned for my final piece for my feb. fluffs but when you binge watch reality tv (Love is Blind) you can’t help but to redirect some place else right? Rip to that Kelly piece!!! Also this allows me to be all descriptive with a synopsis intertwined! + I’m only at the beginning of season 5 of Chicago Fire so I know I have a long way to go although I know some spoilers here and there…

In short: Chicago Fire meets Love is Blind.

S/N: this is lengthy!! So if you have the time to read this and interact, thank you! Also I apologize for joe’s being the shortest of the bunch—at least I think it is since there’s not nearly enough content of him up here. I didn’t want to hit the mark with writing this which I’ve surprisingly only done once on this site. I wanted to do hermann as a potential older contestant? Don’t know if that’s the right term but again didn’t want to over do it so maybe another time! Enjoy 😬

ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ.

[MATT CASEY.]

He originally had no interest signing up for this show despite some producers reaching out to him via emails + phone calls and kinda harassing him in person about it! but after careful thought and consideration, he went through with it. He’s not really into people giving their opinions about how he operates so being viewed by the world was another weird feeling regardless of his politician era!

Matt decides to be open after meeting some of the guys who share their perspectives and seeing some familiar faces that he didn’t expect to also be here.

He’s not really nervous, deciding to just go with the flow and actually takes it serious despite talking through a wall.

Matt Casey is a man who is willing and ready to settle down and that’s his goal. He’s not sure if this place or set up will bring that but he knows he has nothing to lose.

Most of his dates go well, they’re honest, driven—for the most part and somewhat humorous and he’s able to quickly narrow it down to picking you.

He’s as sure about you as you are with him. Conversations feel comfortable for Matt, your voice quickly putting him at ease although you joke that you’ll probably sound like shit once you look back on the footage. And he gives you butterflies whenever he says your name in greeting.

You’re the only ones choosing to continue going on dates with each other immediately and nobody else. They say when you know you just know right?

Matt shares his dating history but it doesn’t scare you away like he almost began to worry about. You share your history as well and nothing the both of you say in the pods is alarming for each other… besides the fact that he’s a firefighter.

Sure it’s an admirable profession and you assume he’s in good health but it also scares you a bit at the fact that you could be a widow one day because of his job.

Politics is unfortunately brought up too but you both don’t dive too much into it thankfully. You both know where you stand and he tells you that his time as a politician was a mess and not really his lane which you don’t doubt. NEVER would have guessed it tbh.

Conversations are always meaningful and you both don’t hesitate to share your values and future goals with each other.

You’re open and there’s no secrets: including family.

He’s the first to propose out of the men and you’re in tears since you wanted this for a long time. You say yes and are a bundle of nerves the rest of the night until you’re face to face.

The attraction is just as strong as it is in the pods and as for the appearance you only assumed he was a dark blonde—that’s about it.

Matt can’t stop staring at you and you have to remind him that he has to propose in person, which makes him blink harshly with a shake of his head, laughing to himself, patting his pockets until he finds the box.

It’s a halo teal sapphire oval engagement ring and it’s perfect.

You can’t help but to initiate the kiss and Matt wipes the faux sweat off his forehead after, happy that you took the initiative before gaining confidence to go forth with the next kiss. You note that he likes to hold the space of your back (a lot) while staring into your eyes along with you locking your arms around his shoulders.

The giddy feeling is mutual when you get back to the headquarters, sharing the deets to your temporary roommates/cast mates turned friends.

The pre honeymoon phase lets you physically be in tune with each other. You take note of each others routine. Matt is the early riser but you have to remind him that he’s on vacation and can stay in bed longer with you although it’s always instilled in him to be up early.

He likes sleeping with limbs tangled and being the big spoon, hand in the valley of your chest which you hold just underneath your chin while you sleep. He’s always on coffee and breakfast duty since you may sleep later but not too late.

He won’t make the bed if you’re the last one out of it but if you’re in the shower (badly singing) that’s not stopping him from plopping right back on it hands folded behind his head and ready to doze back off.

You catch him but he says, “what? I was just resting my eyes,” such a dad answer already! you both give each other a blank stare before he snorts first, making you laugh right with him before pecking his lips.

He’ll color coordinate with you but can’t say it’ll be a common thing unless you’re going to events together or it happens on accident.

He checks in on you whether in the hotel room when it gets quiet or when you go down to meet everyone else before falling into separate conversations.

I don’t believe there would be any doubts between you two if you share similar goals and ofc not all things can be peachy!!!although everyone stamps their approval on your relationship. Not that either of you cared much tbh but you appreciate it regardless!

It’s when you ask about who’s the first person he’ll call to tell about your engagement that takes a bit of a turn. He doesn’t say it’s his mom but probably his niece who will obviously do the job of telling his sister which you kinda find cute but encourage him that talking to his mother and sister is important if you’re going to be in his life.

You’re aware of the disconnect that Matt has with his family but if you have kids you’d want your kids to know their father’s side of the family as well.

“What’s there to know? I already told you everything.”

“Matt.”

“…I’ll figure it out. Right now I just want to enjoy my person to be.”

“Nice save.”

“Right?” He winks, pulling you on top of him.

You don’t wait until your wedding night to have sex—unless you’re a traditional person then by all means he’ll respect your wishes although you make it very difficult and you know it. That doesn’t mean you can’t do other things!

He does end up calling his sister first and she thinks it’s a joke before Matt’s showing your face on screen. The casey’s are usually direct people but she’s polite in greeting you and can’t help to let out a few wtf’s and, “are you on something? Maybe politics rotted your brain with you deciding to go be involved in a cult?” when the screen is brought back to Matt.

You’re laughing at the look on Matt’s face because you’re sure you’ll get the same reaction from your family.

Diving back into what a regular lifestyle would be with Matt is an adjustment. He’s gone a lot as a lieutenant and you manage to see each other in the early mornings and late evenings. You’ll have your own job so you try not to let it bother you too much but coming home to a empty house allows you to debrief from a stressful day (which you don’t handle well, maybe you’re a crier when you get easily frustrated) but you still check in with a call or text to see how it’s going with your fiancé.

You agree to have date nights at least twice a month since having dinner together is tricky. Matt forgets sometimes :( but always makes up for it!

Matt’s great with his hands whether with construction (he’ll always fix something in the house or anything you purchase that arrives broken!) , firefighting, golf (which you find to be a complete snooze fest but you’ll tag along if Matt’s alone just to whip the golf cart around the course mainly but Matt’s fails to take your father/uncle/brother’s advice about letting you drive—earning you to get banned from the course. The owners are quite fond of Matt and didn’t have the heart to ban him but you? Had to stay out!) or let’s just say it, sex! Loves holding your hips to guide you just right, wrists above your head, or simply just holding your hands while he’s on top.

He learns you’re not the best driver—being heavy on the pedal (a few unpaid speeding tickets under your belt, just two or three tops!) but at least you excel at gymnastics and tennis?

I don’t see there being any or much drama with any other cast mates since you know how to solely focus on each other and communicate even if it’s something simple/minor.

Eventually Mrs. Casey will come around to meet you and you see where Matt gets his intense eye contact from. It runs in the family since you also got it from his sister but you handle it well. She has no issue drilling you to the point Matt has to tell his mom to back off since she doesn’t get the best mother of the year award.

See…there’s that bluntness you have to take in and hope you don’t get whiplash. You have to remind Matt to relax himself since he did say that he forgave his mother but sometimes the harshness still came out from all of them.

Picking your dress is what makes this more real for you, more than the ring and you know this is fast. The fastest you’ve ever gone in a relationship but when you think of marriage you think of someone like Matt so any worries you may feel seem to wash away—not completely but enough!

And they come right on back walking down the aisle, all eyes on you. Matt is so handsome, waiting at the end for you, carefully taking your hand in his and whispering how stunning you look.

When it comes to the vows is when Matt gets nervous that he refers back to his cheat sheet and you find that adorable along with him getting choked up at some parts telling you his promises. “…You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of this moment, getting the chance to be someone’s forever. Being beside you for the rest of time is all that I could have hoped for. You’re my walking dream and I can’t believe I had to go on tv just to find someone like you! Guess this worked out in our favor and I promise to love you and those other crappy shows you force me to watch for as long as I can. Which will be a long looooong time, by the way.”

There he goes making those butterflies flutter in your belly while also making you smile so wide that he can’t help but to match.

You go next and the words flow as you stare into his eyes, holding his stare while placing one hand on his chest. Your words are just as loving and Matt knows you’re genuine, you never not once shown him that you weren’t.

You both agree to get married with a dip of a kiss, a promise of love to infinity and that love is blind.

BONUS: definitely love slow dancing together and hand holding a lot + hand kisses, a honeymoon doesn’t happen right away—maybe a year later in Australia ;), you both purchase a house together after two years—a fixer upper 😒 that Matt has to convince you to get but it is the house style you’ve always wanted plus you were great at bargaining so you got it cheaper than the asking price, you’ll adopt a dog after six months of marriage since you babysat pouch one weekend and truly believed it was your destiny to be a dog parent first—no you didn’t discuss it with Matt deciding just to surprise him one day at home—you can only imagine how that went, and I get girl dad from Matt so I envision two girls + a boy…which was unexpected since you weren’t really trying the last time but argue amongst yourselves!

[BRIAN “OTIS” ZVONECEK.]

My baby! I want nothing but the best for you!!! Shut up, Don’t ruin it guys.

He’s down for the show and is the one to reach out to the producers after joe brings it to otis’ attention. He signs them BOTH up and joe is confused on why?? But Otis claims he won’t do this on his own and would never ask his actual brothers to do this with him because they’ll give him shit for it and knows joe would truly have his back. Joe gets soft hearted at this tbh and would never argue against that and they both surprisingly get picked!

Otis is excited but nervous all in one. Could his forever significant other truly be here in this building? Otis just really wanted somebody to love s/o JB! and for them to actually love him back. Why was that so much to ask for?

He feels like he screws up majority of his dates and expresses this to joe and the other guys they make friends with. They’re encouraging, pushing Otis to keep going although he’s honestly ready to go home but the last date makes him glad he stuck it out.

He meets someone who is just a little bit nerdy like him but he still takes the cake. He’s into sci fi while you’re into fantasy but you find a bond in that. You also inform him that you have terrible eyesight with grandmacore glasses and dryly blame it on your actual blind mother. She wasn’t born blind but a tragic accident left her that way. It takes a minute for Otis to catch onto your dry humor but finds he likes it.

Which leads to him asking about your profession guessing a comedian but you snort and say you’re actually an assistant writer/artist for a well known graphic novel company. Otis doesn’t need to hear anymore, half heartedly joking about marrying you right now!

You don’t call him by his nickname at all which Brian appreciates. Quickly learning about his last name and culture you test it out with your own name giving your first and middle name and Brian agrees that he likes the sound of it already.

Big note taker out of the two of you! He doesn’t want to forget anything while you tend to have a great memory with shitty eyes. You can actually blame it on too many nights growing up playing video games on the computer.

He makes it known that his Russian isn’t the best but he gets by and even teaches you a few words and sentences that it becomes a thing in greeting.

The gift giving to each other is so sweet as you have a sip and paint date, Brian gifts you a Zhostovo tray that has lots of detail that you appreciate since you once had a hand painted serving tray that belonged to your late grandfather, which broke recently while you took care of your mostly bed ridden mother.

He also lets you borrow his famous helmet and fills it full of wild flowers + peonies and you’re laughing about it joking, “I’ll have to wear this when we meet.”

“Would you, really?” “As long as you promise to help fix my hair afterwards.”

He didn’t expect you to do that but he’s in for a shock.

Part of him begins to worry the quicker he falls for you, wondering if you’re dating other people + even asks the other guys because one thing about Brian? He’s gonna search for the tea and get answers no matter who likes it or not! and you do speak on it before he brings it up that there’s one other person you’re talking to but it seems one sided, meaning they’re more into you than you of them and that you recently just broke it off which allows Brian to let out a big sigh of relief.

From hobbies to having heart to hearts, Brian is ready to make his final decision and wants to pick you if you’ll have him. You like to make him sweat just a little bit, taking your time answering and finally let up with a, “hell yeah zvonecek, thought you’d never ask!”

“Yeah well I was starting to regret asking since you took forever and a day!” “I was building suspense.” “And here I thought you were into fantasy!” You laugh and speak your farewells soon after, ready to meet each other the next day.

The led up to the big reveal is nerve wrecking but when those doors open the both of you are wide eyed although you have your back to the doors with the helmet on. Brian runs to you and you have to remind yourself to move your feet, spinning around as you meet him past the middle.

He shakes his head at you smiling at the fact that you actually did this, and surprised that those printed large framed glasses were able to fit under it too, gently pulling the helmet from your head to place on the floor so that he can also get a good look at you. Hair a mess and all!

“Look at my husband!” You grin after he slams his body into yours in a tight embrace.

He’s a shaky mess but you don’t mind holding him upright, holding his face in place as you study every inch. “I thought your spirit was beautiful before but you even have the face to match.” He’s rolling his eyes at you but he can’t help but to let a smile slip out himself. You’re making his heart thud like crazy and he says he needs to sit before he actually collapses.

“Wow, is this real life?” Brian finds himself asking multiple times as he rests a hand on your thigh and you nod and kiss him to show him it’s the real deal.

“Me and you baby,” becomes your thing and he has to keep chasing your lips because he can’t get enough of them.

You caress his face a lot and he remembers that physical touch is your love language. You didn’t lie about that! But he enjoys your touch and you playing with his facial hair that he left out. He gave nothing about his appearance away and you were okay with that. You were pretty patient and liked the element of surprise! You’ve always been creative so you tried to picture it all and even drew some ideas in your sketchbook.

“Oh right! The ring! This is crazy, I’m sorry.” Brian has to pry his eyes away from you as he searched his pockets and realizes that he either forgot it or dropped it somewhere.

Which you help him look for just for it to be in his back pants pocket, you had to be the one to pull it out with him bending over searching a potted plant. “Hey! We didn’t even have a date face to face yet and you’re already grabbing my ass?”

“It’s our ass now, genius. And I’ve found it, you’re welcome.” You hold it up in between you and Brian rubs his face in embarrassment but you’re smirking at him.

He’s down on his knee and imagines this is how it would probably always be with you. He’s down bad for you already, hands shaking again as he reveals a goregous ring. It’s a modern take on a three princess-cut grown diamonds. They are encircled by a halo of baguette and round accents and from its side it appears as floating diamonds which is breath taking.

“My man has fabulous taste!”

He exhales relieved, “You like it?”

“ Shut up and kiss me.” You demand and Brian doesn’t hesitate. Here’s a little secret, you can’t get enough of his lips either.

When it’s time for the pre-honeymoon, you don’t keep your hands off each other. If you want to wait until marriage, he will. If you don’t? It’s fair game. He eats well ;) he’s passionate and attentive, you can be a little on a rough side—don’t let the grandma glasses fool you but you always have a safe word and have Brian tell you what he wants and what’s too much if you push the envelope too far. Words of affirmation in bed definitely sets him off and you love it just as much. You love to take care of each other.

He doesn’t understand how active you can be before and still have the energy to be up at the crack of ass ready to prepare breakfast and eat. You are a bit of a routine person but if it has to be altered it doesn’t bother you much. You don’t take yourself too seriously which brian likes.

You will force him to do mediation with you on the mornings of your pre-honeymoon and affirmations to say in the mirror—which is weird at first but once he gets the hang of it and believes it you leave him alone to do it on his own. You open him up to new things and just to be himself. And he opens you up to be more in tune to your own feelings and not just everyone else’s.

Meeting Joe is just what Brian wanted and you reveal you and Joe went on one date together in the pods but he wasn’t the one who had more interest in you it was another guy. And Brian is a scoffing mess once he sees him again, “that walking protein shake? Really?!” Whaaat? I friendzoned him didn’t I? I only want you, Kartoshka.” You peck his cheek and nip his ear, leaving him a blushing mess and joe is wide eyed in disgust. “What did they just call you? Get a grip man.” “Shut up, joe.”

There could be a little drama with the meathead who is in disbelief that you would pick Brian over him and tries to show off despite being with the person he picked to marry. But it’s obvious he’s not attracted to them and is belittling to them. You set them straight in front of everybody and thankfully the girl calls it quits with him.

Brian finds it hot that you’ll stand ten toes down for him just like he will for you. And that stamps more approval from joe that you’ll make it as a couple, gaining a big hug from him which you return.

When you return home, his baba is already there and he comes clean since he actually wanted to wait until you were both settled that he’ll start reaching out to some family although you already made calls to your besties as soon as you got off the flight. Brian felt pride at the thought of someone being excited to tell their loved ones about him.

He felt incredibly lucky to be loved by you and hoped you felt the same so he didn’t B.S. to his baba about you. You didn’t understand much of their conversation but the woman yanked you into her arms. Your eyes went wide at her strength but a thumbs up from Brian over her shoulder meant all was okay.

Brian talked highly of his baba so ofc you wanted to make a great impression more with her than anything. She was the one who always believed in brian while he experienced tough love from his mom and big brothers so you couldn’t lie and say that her opinion mattered less when it mattered the most!

You were both nervous meeting each others family and friends, although you found comfort in joe and his fiancée already being friendly with them but the both of you were relived once it was all over.

It was mainly 50/50 on both sides who were in shock that this was happening and had more concerns than questions—which was the same thing in both of your eyes when each side stated this but you both understood that your loved ones had the right to be skeptical.

You were positive that Brian’s mother didn’t care for you or really approve, his brother’s attitudes felt condescending but they said they would be there whether to support or to see this fail was their own business but at the end of dinner they seemed to ease up some leaving the hounding to be done by their mother instead.

Your mother on the other hand was a simple woman. She felt along Brian’s face and smiled saying to you, “he gets points for being a cutie. If you love his heart and he’s good to you, then I’ll be more than happy to call him my son in law.”

Which definitely lifted your spirits!

A home routine for the both of you wasn’t traditional considering that Brian had joe for a roommate and his fiancée decided to move in with them and baba was in town again. Brian had a bunk bed with one twin sized on top and then a full on the bottom so there was that! He planned to get rid of it, worried that you were judging him but you just threw your hands up in the air silently saying you were keeping your thoughts to yourself.

You alternated spending weekends with each other. You lived on the outskirts of town where the historical houses were, inheriting an old Victorian from your late artist of a grandfather where you resided with your sickly mother. You had a caretaker who became family so you didn’t have to feel guilty when you would spend weekends at Brian’s.

He loved chatting with your mom when it was his turn to stay at yours. There was wittiness behind that shell of quietness and she loved having tea tasting with Brian in the garden.

He’s a talker so any time he isn’t talking would be when he’s pissed, when he’s sleeping, or when he’s deep into a book trying to process everything before he’s yelling at the pages.

The both of you like lounging on the couch, feet in his lap while he’s into a novel and you’re sketching.

Pillowtalk is absolutely a thing in this soon to be marriage! Early mornings are a common thing for Brian so he sets his alarm just ten minutes before he has to be up for work to talk to you about the most randomness things because he likes picking your brain.

You get familiar with firehouse 51, meeting Brian’s chosen family and even bringing your mother along just to say hi and always sensing when Brian just needs to see you or hear your voice + hanging with your mom is always a plus. She’s a pretty cool lady too!

And baba also likes her!

Brian would be the type to want to know what kind of dress you’re going for so he can create mental images himself but you won’t budge! He even peeks through one of your random sketches to see if you drew about it or have a vision board buried somewhere to give him an idea. He’s not patient when it comes to the wedding and can’t wait to marry you.

He’s never been so secure in his life!

He’s a sweating mess on the day of the wedding and goes into a dry heave but he’s thankful that his family is there to bring him through it. It means a lot to have everyone there, even his actual brothers!

You on the other hand? Like to dance your worries away tbfh. When you’re nervous you like to throw darts or break out into a mini dance routine that starts off with a moonwalk every damn time—which Brian caught once or twice. “What the hell was that and why have I never known you could move like that?!”

Long story short your alcoholic deadbeat dad was a tap dancer and even started you out at the age of 3. You picked up things pretty damn fast but found you were more passionate with other forms of art although dance was obviously still there.

And your mother was an ice skater before her accident brought on other health issues, so yeah you could move on your feet which was another thing Brian could add to the list of things he loved about you.

So you may have broke out into a routine in your dressing headquarters once you were alone in spanx before getting into your wedding dress. Then? You were good to go.

Brian was glad that you didn’t spare any details about your attire besides the fact that you were wearing a dress. Vintage was kind of your thing and you took your mother’s dress that she brought from goodwill years ago transforming it into just what you sketched. That’s right, sketched with the help of your designer best friend.

“I’m speechless babe,” Brian breathed as he scanned over the details of you in front of him, “I don’t know how you expect me to give my vows when you look like that.”

You smile sweetly at him, head titling to the side, “just wait until you get me out of it.” Winking at him.

He puts his head down, rubbing at his brow, face pink and warns you through clenched teeth, “remember we’re in church, in front of a priest…” which earns laughter from everyone.

You give your vows first because you surprisingly can’t wait to claim your love to Brian and you seem so at ease speaking about him while he’s melting from the lights and nerves! It’s natural for you and maybe it has to do with you being a writer but he wants to hold onto every word that you say for a lifetime.

When it’s his turn he’s a stuttering mess and the comforting squeeze from joe and the caress of your fingers underneath his chin makes him stand up tall. “…I never thought that I would ever find a love like this before. A curveball that knocks you off your feet but you find that you’re okay because it’s the most loving yet dorky person behind it that sends it your way. I am so grateful that you chose me to spend forever with and I hope that—wait—and I know that I can be just the right guy for you. I am so ready to do everything and more with you, including getting old and saggy together. I’ll even give you first dibs on plucking my first strand of gray hair out but I know you probably won’t because you’re so ready for change and seeing what the world has to offer. And I’m ready to offer you love, devotion, and a huge chunk of that world. I’ll always look foreword to saying I do with you right beside me.”

You’re kissing him before the priest gives the final say, which you suddenly remember pulling away and laughing, “sorry, we’re supposed to wait for you to tell us to do that. But I couldn’t resist, this is my forever person! So hurry up and get on with it so we can go round two.”

“Forgive them…and they say I’m the impatient one.” Brian jokes while the priest is shaking their head at you two before moving on with the ceremony and the both of you are a smiling mess, forehead to forehead, excited to put your lips to good use again with the answer of: love being blind.

BONUS: honeymooning in the states was okay with the both of you. You had time to see the rest of the world and Brian was a bit indecisive about where to go so you both closed one eye and threw a dart each at the map landing on Massachusetts of all places! Another round later and your destination was Salem. The both of you brought back weird but cool trinkets to decorate at a later date once you found a reasonably priced home. It takes time and Brian is more than willing to move elsewhere from joe and his vocal fiancée! If you get what I’m saying! He was fine with them keeping the apartment 100% while he was ready to build more life with you. He wanted your mom to move in with you two but there was no chance in hell that she was leaving the Victorian behind…so visits were a common thing at your remodeled (Brian was sick of old houses that didn’t feel updated so he was ecstatic finding this updated listing!) typical Chicago style four bedroom home that was built in 1883, Brian did his podcasts a lot in the cozy large basement and you even joined in sometimes since he always deemed you as his number one fav guest!

halloween? The both of you went off with the costumes with you on makeup duty (that Brian hated sitting hours for because his ass ached okay but always loved the end results and the decor), you’ll go to conventions together since you had the hook up thanks to your job, you’ll help out at Molly’s when they’re swarmed with customers—although you weren’t a drinker but knew how to make a mean firestarter, you’re both cat people until Brian ends up allergic and the hairless cats creep him out so the idea of having pets kinda went out the window, and I also picture him with a kid or two but he’s heavily nervous based on hereditary facts + being a good dad but you both don’t have to have it all figured out yet being worried is enough evidence that he will be 🥹

[KELLY SEVERIDE.]

Listen…Kelly didn’t want to be the guy that did this just to meet more women or anything like that but he thought it would be fun and had time off that he needed to take so why the hell not?

He didn’t expect to be around these many guys and their egos, including his own but here he was!

Casual dating was right up his alley so that’s how he kept it at the start. He knew at some part of his life he may want to settle down but he never had a grand example of what that would look like honestly.

Which is why he wouldn’t be so screwed up if things didn’t work out here…so he hoped.

He wasn’t heartless like some may believe!

Majority of the dates seem to go by fast but he knows how to keep conversations going so it only makes sense along with his imagination going wild trying to picture each person he’s talking to although it really shouldn’t matter but it does to a certain point for him…

One voice in particular sounds familiar and part of him feels like he can’t shake it but he continues talking to her although she seems to skip around some of her background.

However Kelly isn’t all that interested in family backgrounds but feels like talking about anything else like: what do the weekends look like for you? Tell me about your first crush. Most spontaneous place you had sex or made out at. Are you a beach or mountain person? Corny things like that.

He’s made the mistake of mentioning his position as a firefighter and immediately picked up on the tone of those that found more interest in that than anything else he had to say…which got old fast and made him start mentally crossing them off.

He kept talking to the familiar voice and then there was you, the complete opposite to everything he spoke of. When he asked you these questions and you brought up that you already knew that he was a firefighter since the others wouldn’t shut up about it and that you weren’t interested in sliding down his pole made him choke on his beverage in laughter.

“What if I told you that I grow cannabis for a living?” “I’d say…how’s that working out for you?” “Then I’d say idk because my phony friend took over and although it’s supposed to be recreational I really can’t get past the smell so whatever! I’m actually a forensic analyst and we can move on past the basics.” “Well…if it makes you feel better, I smoke cigars.” “It doesn’t.” Kelly laughs with a shrug, “okay then.”

You’re surprised that Kelly wants to go on another date after your first encounter and you very honest about it. “Give yourself some credit. I see something in you that can be worth it.” Kelly doesn’t hold back. “Oh please. What’re you really here for?” “What do you mean?” “Why’d you come on the show for? solely entertainment? “i came here because I was told I don’t get out enough.” “Is there some truth to that?” “When you work as hard as do, yes. You know how it is.” “Sure I do but I also know how to have the right balance.” “I can smell the Vegas on you.”

You keep Kelly laughing and find it odd that you have him somewhat figured out and he’s still trying to get a read on you.

Sooner than later you open up to him—which isn’t something that you do really but it’s something about talking with Kelly that feels different than with all the others. You didn’t pay much attention to the other girls who felt a way about you and the other girl that still got to go on dates with Kelly. It really wasn’t that big of a deal and you didn’t see the point in having envy towards anything. Things that are meant to be will be don’t they say?

The next time you meet the both of you talk about any and everything and it doesn’t feel forced. Just a natural convo between two strangers trying to figure out if they could be each others one. “Hey, are we friends now?” Kelly asks after he ends up telling you about his old friend Shay. You sigh and dramatically say, “if you say so but you can’t tell anyone.” “You are brutal,” he’s laughing again wiping the corners of his eyes, “thanks for letting me talk. I haven’t spoken about her in awhile.” “Ah don’t mention it. Most people say my shoulder is comfy which I don’t understand since they’re broad thanks to many years of being on the swim team.” “Oh shit okay! Were you any good?” “I had no choice but to be. Didn’t know how to swim so my dad made me learn to become a swimmer…which is why I said I’m more of a mountain person rather than a beach or whatever you enjoy doing more. A lake! That’s right, you’re a lake guy.”

Then there’s the subject about fathers and that’s a lengthy one! You didn’t intend to get so personal but it seemed like this Kelly guy brought it out of you—considering you’re friends now or whatever. You only tell each other one thing physically about each other but it’s only because you both let it slip. You’re aware he’s got blue eyes and he’s aware that you have a sleeve tattoo with one of them being a moose.

“Why a moose?” “Why blue eyes?” Kelly rolls his eyes, “stop being annoying.” “Fine. It’s my favorite animal and I’ve got two but the big one, that moose is in a tux smoking a pipe.” “…I can’t even picture that but I love it if you like it.” “Well maybe one day you’ll get to see it.”

Which makes Kelly raise his brows. He wasn’t expecting that but he recovers fast before that date ends shortly after. And he has no problem sharing this info with the guys he’s closest to back at the headquarters.

He becomes conflicted when he has another date before he learns it’s Brittany who’s been using her middle name instead of her first. Now he’s irritated because he felt like she should have just been honest from the jump and not play around.

Brittany’s apologetic and Kelly can’t help but to ask how she’s been and how things were resolved with her family. She says they’re in family therapy now but she moved out to Thomasville, GA. She can’t lie and say that she’s not curious about how things are going with you and Kelly but she makes it clear to Kelly that you don’t share much of what goes on in your dates + felt like your attitude sucks.

“Why? Because she told you to probably mind your business?” Kelly asks.

Kelly doesn’t like how it seems like Brittany begins to speculate or almost bad mouth you since she doesn’t know you like he does. She can sense this may go left so she tries to clean it up saying that you’re not as open as everyone else but atp Kelly doesn’t care about the info given and she also says that you’re nowhere near ready to be married to him.

He ends the date early and lets the producers have it but the producers warn him and Brittany not to say anything else about the matter to anyone. Kelly doesn’t owe them shit, telling you exactly that Brittany is his ex wife from an impulse marriage in Vegas and he hasn’t seen her in years or knew she would even be here.

You’re listening, not saying much and Kelly feels his heart rate spike thinking that you’ve left but you’re laughing now. “It all makes sense on why she was being so nosy. I think she’s curious about a round two with you.”

“Nah, not gonna happen.” “She didn’t know you would be here either.” “I told her my name first and she lied using her middle name instead. So she had to connect the dots at some point.” “You’re right but you felt something before and recently to keep pursuing her so you can’t just brush it off now since she and the producers lied.” “…why does it feel like you’re trying to push me out?” “I’m not.” “Yes you are!” “Kelly…I’m just saying I’m not here to deprive you of anything. Her being brought back into your life again might mean something.” “Like what?” He snaps, “that I go back to old habits?” You’re not sure what that means but you shrug, “I don’t know but you’re both here and you should figure it out.” “Is there someone else?” You pause because you weren’t expecting that, “no, Kelly. There’s not. It’s just you. I’ll talk to you later.”

He’s upset about this but he’s got a few more days to get it together. He really slows down and talks to Brittany most of the time before his final date with you then he has to make his big decision. It’s somewhat tense between you two and quiet but you don’t ask any questions about Brittany because why would you want to spend your time talking about another woman?

Once you get past that tension and you’re both bringing laughter out of each other, Kelly knows you’re the person he wants to talk to the most at the end of the day and he knows the decision he’ll be making tomorrow.

When he proposes the next day it’s along the lines of, “I know what this feeling is and i know I’d be a complete dumbass if I let you slip away. You’re exactly what I need to get through just a day so I can only imagine what life would be like with you in it all the time. Will you marry me?”

And when you’re face to face, the both of you have shit eating grins on your faces and can’t help but to laugh. “We’re doing this huh?” “Only if you want to.” He bumps your shoulder as you sit beside each other, knees touching and him running his fingertips over the ink on your arm.

“I think I have to see what I’m working with first.” “Meaning what?” “Plant one on me, duh.” “Oh! Is that what you want?” He’s teasing. “I mean…a big part of how you kiss me is on the list: if I should spend until the end of time with you.” “Did I ever tell you that you’re something else?” He’s grabbing the sides of your neck and you’re running your fingers through his salt and pepper hair. “Eh, I’m used to it already.”

He likes the way your nose crinkles when you’re being your usual sarcastic self and he’s staring at you with a glimmer in his bright blues before he’s diving right to you.

You hate to admit it but the man knows what he’s doing with his lips + tongue and he knows that you’re enjoying it based on your body language. “Did I pass?” You’re playfully glaring at him, trying to slow your breathing + taking note of the gap in his smile and say, “give me the ring, damnit.”

It’s a 1 carat emerald diamond with French diamonds (he explained to you) that extend half of the way around the band. They say everyone thinks about what their ring would look like but you also never thought you’d find love again after being cheated on multiple times. It was evident that Kelly put thought into this ring and into you.

So you grip his cheeks and kiss him again before wrapping him into your arms, feeling the tears in your throat. Kelly rubs your back whispering, “I’ll do my best to make you happy.” “No need to worry, you’re doing great so far.” And you’re laughing again and enjoying the feeling of being in his arms.

The Pre-Moon added to the energy of being a fiancé and fiancée. You’re wearing Kelly’s cap backwards and this is marked as Kelly’s fav outfit on you yet. You in the warm weather is the perfect view in Kelly’s eyes as you settle into your hotel.

He’ll definitely pull you into the shower with him since he doesn’t have to shower alone now. You caught on pretty quickly, enjoying the makeout session and wondering hands but you don’t take it further than that, just sticking to teasing on the first night.

He’s the partner that likes to sleep with the tv on although it doesn’t make sense to you. He’ll be taking care of the electric bill if he keeps this up outside of the show! Lots of pillow fights, “catch this!” and WWE moments that lead to more makeout sessions. Leave it up to Kelly and he’ll never leave this room. He likes walking around shirtless a lot trying to get you riled up but if he hasn’t noticed you’re a tough cookie.

It’s when he goes out onto the balcony ass naked shouting good morning to the villa, you’re yanking him right back into the room while he’s laughing. “Is there a problem?” “Yes! Why are you sharing our business to the rest of the villa?” “Our?” Kelly questions with a smirk while you keep your eyes only on him. He’s stalking towards you now after you created space between you two. “That’s what I said. Now put some clothes on!” “Is that really what you want?” “Are you planning on going skinny dipping at the pool?” He thinks about it letting a wide smile greet his face. Shaking your head you say, “never mind!”

Neck kisses and nose kisses are a thing between you two. The attraction is magnetic and 1000000000% there but you don’t officially do the deed until you’re back in Chicago on a houseboat he brought and is renovating to resell.

You wake up in complete bliss, his arm tucked underneath your jaw and fingers touching your shoulder which he kisses the back of. You’re staring at your ring, crooked smile on your lips as he’s peppering the side of your face in good morning kisses.

“I didn’t get to show off my lingerie.” You pout recollecting how the events of the night happened on impulse—but a good impulse nonetheless.

“You could model it for me now.” Kelly suggested, “or…we can shower together and get ready for the day. Meet everyone at 51.”

“You didn’t even tell them yet.”

“I told Matt and Dawson—Gabby.” He informs.

“Then I can meet them but want to wait on everybody else.”

“Okay,” he’s ready to get up but you’re pulling him back, “let’s stay in bed just a little bit longer. It’s still early.”

He can’t cook for shit and his stove isn’t repaired yet so a trip for bagels, coffee, and tea for you was a pit stop before heading over to Matt and Gabby’s where you meet little Louie as well. You and gabby understand each other’s humor and like that you’re honest about knowing how crazy this marriage thing may seem but the focus was on the present that leads up to marriage. You would put in the work if kelly does and so far it’s been great but honeymoon phases can wear off…

You have your own place and didn’t like staying on a houseboat by yourself, so a weekly routine did include you staying back at your own place while Kelly would spend many nights at the station which you stayed away from until it’s brought to your attention that Brittany shows up to the station based on a text she “accidentally” sent you. “Look who I picked up to have lunch with”

Here comes the drama the producers were looking for! It was an off guard photo she took at a table they were sitting at for lunch and you didn’t give her the satisfaction of replying. You would just wait until Kelly showed up for breakfast…hours later. He sent a good night text that same night and you left him on read which he tried not to think too much about.

Finding your front door unlocked was alarming and this was his first time being at your place, which was pretty nice. He calls out to you but he can smell the food so he quickly turns to his right to find you in your kitchen.

“Hey,” he starts, making his way over to you to peck your cheek before rubbing his hands together at the food spread and taking a seat at the island counter, “…what’s up?”

“How was your day yesterday?” You start, stirring the contents in your tea cup.

Kelly’s diving into his food and shrugs, “t’lright. Busy as usual. Missed your call on your lunch break and then reached back out to you once my shift was over. Figured you probably fell asleep right before.”

“How was lunch with Britt?” You casually ask sipping at your tea mug.

Kelly stops chewing, bright eyes flicking back to yours.

“And don’t hit me with the ‘what’re you talking about?’ She sent me a photo on purpose although she tried to lie about it.”

“…it wasn’t planned.” Kelly starts.

“No?”

“No, why would I willingly go out to lunch with her if I said all that I needed to back in the pods?”

“You tell me, Kelly.”

Kelly tightens his stare, “Stop. Don’t do that.”

“I’m not doing anything but trying to carry a conversation with my fiancé. Questioning why he’s hanging out with his ex wife…that’s all.”

“We weren’t hanging out! I just told you that. It wasn’t planned. I went to go pick up lunch for the squad and she so happened to be there having lunch by herself and she invited me over. I sat down and then we talked. I was only there for five maybe ten minutes sitting.”

“That’s five to ten minutes too long for not having anything else to say.”

Kelly lifts his shoulders, “I don’t know what you want me to say here.”

“You should have told me instead of her trying to gain some sort of one up on me saying that she picked you up when she actually didn’t. Which is weird as hell by the way.”

“I can’t control what anybody does but I do agree, I should have mentioned it last night although nothing happened but you didn’t answer any of my texts.” “Don’t try and flip this on me.” “I’m not! This just feels like you’re trying to start with me over nothing.” “Is it really nothing though?” “I’m not your loser of an ex okay and I’ll never be that. I know how that feels and I won’t steer you wrong. I love you, okay? If you have any doubt, just put your trust in that ring.”

As he mentions this it feels like the engagement ring burns against your skin but you’re staring at Kelly, taking his words and knowing they have weight to them. Blinking you step back, “I have to get to work, enjoy breakfast. And don’t forget to lock up on your way out.” Is all you say before sliding a key his way.

And he watches you leave while he rubs his face is frustration, pushing the plate away from him and no longer having an appetite.

The both of you are hard workers and push your personal business to the side as you enter your work places. However that doesn’t mean in the free time that you don’t think about each other. This was your first disagreement…if you want to call it that but your feelings for each other were strong and demanded to be felt.

You didn’t see Brittany as a threat at all, finally deciding to send back a text letting her know that whatever she’s trying to get at has clearly passed her by and that there is no need for her and kelly to continue any contact. If she didn’t respect that then there would be hell to pay :)

Thankfully she gets the message, saying that she’s already on the next flight back to Georgia and Kelly is at yours first since you’re the one with a late night. He’s made himself comfortable on the couch, watching sports, and you don’t head to the kitchen that has take out on the table, you head right to where your man is on the left side of the house. You plop beside him and he side eyed you, turning the tv down before turning his head to you.

You tell Kelly exactly what you told Brittany before apologizing about being somewhat accusatory but not about how this made you feel. He’s aware of the hurt you faced prior and know it’s a big deal giving your heart to him. He promises that he’s not going to break your heart and you promise that you’re learning to be more trusting.

Every other weekend when Kelly’s not working on the boat you head out to his lake house, liking the views but not the idea of fishing—but it’s baby steps with you.

It’s the little things that the both of you are getting the hang of. Kelly’s hasn’t been in a long lasting committed relationship since his first engagement but he knows he likes being with you doing the things you like to do and having new experiences on what he likes to do with you. It’s all about sharing and Kelly jokes that you’re not the best sharer.

Meeting each others families at a little get together at your place also puts each other into perspective besides word of mouth to each other. Everyone that the both of you socialize with agrees to be at the wedding (even Mr. Severide who asks Kelly off to the side if he’s really serious about you but it’s not like he’s taking advice from him!) which you actually pushed to the back of your mind although it’s coming up pretty damn fast!

Very protective over each other even when speaking of one another, lots of squeezes you’ll give each other in passing: he’ll squeeze your shoulders when you’re hunched over your laptop looking over something for work when you should be off-reminding you to relax, squeeze your hips and move you aside so he can get by, you both like to rub each other’s back when you’re hugging, if he’s sleeping with his back to you, you’ll use his bare back at your pillow, he’ll throw you over his shoulder the minute you start bickering with him over something, you can ask him something as simple as what type of food to eat based on two options and he’ll say something annoying like, “both,” with a shrug and you’re ready to playfully choke or slap him on the back of his shoulder.

He loves his mustangs and you love your broncos. The both of you will swap cars for a day or two just because or you’ll grab the wrong key—he thinks you do it on purpose. He basically lives at your place now and it’s the norm for you two.

What may not be normal is that feeling in your stomach the sooner the date to your wedding approaches. Kelly always tells you that you can talk to him, that the both of you should be able to talk to each other if something is bothering you so you have a conversation three days before the wedding.

“Do you think we’re ready to be married?”you ask one morning in the bath while Kelly is shaving his face.

“Is anyone?” He says staring at you in the mirror, “If the relationship is real I think most just let the nerves get the best of them and may look for a way out. You don’t think we’re ready?”

“I mean…we’re still trying to learn each other.” “True but you’re scared to take that jump aren’t you?” “Yes.” “Okay,” he goes silent for a moment, “is there anything I can do that will change your mind?” “About getting married in three days? I don’t think so. Are you ready to get married?” “At the start in the pods I wasn’t sure but talking to you made me feel hopeful again I guess. I haven’t really thought too much about it recently but I liked seeing you wear the ring and it was like we were just living without the label. Now that it’s coming up…I might be unsure again because I’m getting in my head about it…but I’m positive you’d make a great wife.” “…Maybe.” You had your doubts about that title just like Kelly. “No, you will. And it may not be in three days, weeks, or months— “or years,” you interrupt.

Kelly exhales with a roll of his eyes, “but you will and I personally want to keep getting to know you.” “Good, glad we agree on that.” He’s stepping to you now and squats down beside the tub, reaching for your cheek to place a kiss on your lips, “just making sure you’re prepared to piss a lot of people off. I assume this means no big show at the altar?” “You would love to do that wouldn’t you?” Kelly grins, “only to the producers, not our family or friends because those producers kinda deserve it especially since I heard them making bets on us.” “We don’t owe them a damn thing.” “Yeah, you’re right. Just thought I’d pass it along and see what you think. So…still my fiancée for now?” He tests and you nod your head, “cool, what do you want to do today?”

And you smile in the fresh morning and Kelly admires just how pretty you are when you have your mind made up. There was still love written in your eyes the longer the both of you had eye contact as you say, “I’ve always wanted to go to Belize.” “Yeah?” Kelly quirks up his brows, “think you can get a bag packed in thirty minutes before the camera crew get here?” “I love a challenge, Kels.” You’re standing up now and Kelly wraps his arms around you, lifting you from the tub, “so do I.” He says into your neck before setting you down on your feet and slapping you on your bare backside to get going.

You’d like to state that you’re not very impulsive but jumping on a flight with a man you agreed to marry after a few weeks of talking behind a wall but chose to ditch the wedding speaks volumes! The both of you are nowhere to be found (Kelly makes sure to call Boden about his minor absence after a day in Belize) but you both know at some point you’ll have to return to reality, for now being with each other without the constant worry about what will happen next is the most freeing feeling you both received.

For the audience: Is love blind for this couple?

[JOE CRUZ.]

Otis was lucky Joe loved him like a bro, otherwise he wasn’t sure he would really try out for this sort of thing…although he knew it would be nice to be in love.

Especially if it turns out to be genuine.

He gets excited being in the pods and actually liked going on dates and felt like he can be quite the romantic if he puts in the effort. However he knew he couldn’t dive right in and had a balancing method that worked out in his favor since most of his dates seemed to hit off but still lacked something.

There was one that was questionable and a little weird that he had to dip out on but for the rest of the ladies he could say he had a solid time.

There’s three contenders that he’s socializing with and one of them steps out of the experience with joe because she felt like her connection was stronger elsewhere. Joe appreciated that honesty and wished her well before continuing with the two women.

It’s still early so he doesn’t have to have it figured out now but he does take into account how he feels chatting with them. Both match his energy yet one is more…sexual than the other and ofc joe doesn’t mind it but he wants to make sure there’s more than just the physical if the plan is to get married at the end of this, so he makes note of that.

Then there’s you who makes him feel like he’s right at home, someone who feels like a friend that he can love past the platonic.

You have inside jokes, drag all those dance movies especially, “save the last dance,” (never magic Mike tho! Which makes joe scowl and roll his eyes) and joe is comfortable admitting that he’s into rom-com’s because who, “doesn’t love a good love story,” but is absolutely into action movies with a detailed storyline as well.

It just feels like you both come to terms with wanting to talk to each other every day and feel happier in doing so. So…he makes the decision on choosing only you to focus on and awkwardly tells the other woman who simply shrugs it off saying, “you’re probably old, fat, and balding in the middle anyway and you’re not as funny as you think. Your lost, asshole.”

Leaving joe wide eyed and caught off guard at being dragged. When he tells you about it you scoff saying, “she’s the one who lost with that nasty ass attitude. Don’t listen to a thing she says because we all know she doesn’t know her times tables anyway. And I think anyone would be glad to have someone like you in their corner so screw her.” “You mean that?” “Cross my heart and hope to fly.” “Thats…not the saying.” “Well who the hell hopes to die? Not I! I’m not even in my prime yet.” Joe chuckles, “that’s fair. Thank you for that.” “Of course, now dinner with Kanye or are you taking the twenty grand…?”

May let out a sigh of a, “I love you,” during your many talks and once he realizes he says it out loud he’s scrambling trying to save himself but you’re shushing him.

“I mean I am pretty fabulous so it’s about time you share those same views.” You start, “and I’m sure I love you too and what this little life will be.”

Which was all the confirmation joe needed to continue working at what this could be and that’s exactly what you both did.

He’s only nervous when he has to face you. More worried about what you’ll think about him physically after that previous dumping brought up his baldness unknowingly and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about you as well but the heart always knows what it wants.

“You’re gorgeous, honey.” He says as you’re caressing his head then his cheek and he’s holding on your waist. You wink and say, “as are you and we got the heart to match so sounds like a win don’t you think?”

You both give each other a nice spin hyping each other up before joe’s down on his knee to propose with an engagement ring.

A 2 Carat Pear Diamond that’s twisted along the band with more diamonds on its side.

“Ohhh, impeccable taste Joey! This is chef’s kiss but you’re already the best gift a girl can ask for and I can’t wait to be your one and only.” Joe’s all heart eyes as he’s getting to his feet to connect your lips.

And you’re both letting out a sigh like this is where you’re meant to be.

The pre-moon is even better. Superior weather and views + being with the man you can see the future with. You’re quite aware of joe being big hearted and it doesn’t disappear. Breakfast in bed, he pays attention and gives his input on fits when you ask for it—even when being self conscious he’ll still compliment you reminding you of your worth, making requests of saying ‘I love you,’ morning, night, and even when/if you’re getting on each other nerves. He knows he’s a blanket hog since he gets cold easily but thanks to the hotel sheets being tucked in so tight he can’t pull the covers too much but promises he’ll do better when you get back home, you help him shave the back of his head, and he’ll help you with your eye drops since you flinch too much doing them yourself.

You’ll spend a lot of time snacking and lounging on the balcony + night time swimming and sunbathing. “I don’t need that,” he says to the sunscreen and you give him a look before he’s sighing taking the cream from you, “you’ll have to get my back,” “always boo,” you state knowing that joe will learn to not argue with a esthetician.

Meeting Otis already feels like you know him since joe talks quite a bit about him. And it’s just as easy talking to Otis as it is talking to Joe and he deff gives baby brother energy so you know there will be no issue looking at him as such. The party goes by smoothly and you catch joe staring at you from across the tiki bar and shoot him a funny face before carrying on although you do feel giddy knowing that his eyes are only on you.

You’re both tipsy and love drunk when you get back to the hotel so it’s no surprise that you both end up underneath the covers. Joe kisses like he’s got all the time in the world and takes his time even further exploring your body and even once he’s in between your legs. He has no problem telling you how you make him feel in your ear and you both learn just how vocal you equally can be.

The next morning is just as loving but Joe’s hangover is not although he claims he didn’t have that many drinks. You on the other hand have a high tolerance and provide just the best hangover juice to cure it while massaging his head with peppermint oil, along with a cucumber facial he tries to eat, and beginning to take care of Joe’s marked up back. He hisses as you rub aloe on his back, “hey! A warning would have been nice you know?” “Well at least you know now,” you grin pecking one of the scratches while Joe scoffs at you over his shoulder before placing a kiss on your forehead.

Lots of forehead kisses and hugs from behind. Lots of rants from him that you nod along to and although it may seem like you’re not paying attention you’re actually a great listener although you space out sometimes. When you get back to Chicago this doesn’t change once he gets back to work and he’s talking about his day. You do have great commentary and know which conversations require that same commentary thrown in while he’s going off or when to wait until he’s done.

“So…how was your day?” He’ll say after awhile, seeming to finally take a breath, knowing both of your fields of work were way different. He assumed you had more peace of mind but there were some clients that liked to show their ass and when you first started with your cousin not only did they try to get over but so did your clients so you had to bring out a different side to you and stood on that.

Which meant renting out a new space and separating from your paternal cousin who was holding you back. Once you did that it seemed like everything in your life started to work out, including joe.

You were saving up to get your own place, growing tired of living in the downstairs space which was like an apartment of your aunt and uncle’s who raised you. You never really had to live on your own although many judged you about it being in your adulthood but you were thankful that you don’t have that experience of being forced out like many friends did. You paid your way once you knew how to manage your money. Joe was more than welcoming you into his space but you kept questioning if Otis was okay with that…

If you’re a black reader (or POC or wearer) and use wigs as a protective style/preference, you can almost guarantee that Joe will steal a black wig cap for his head at work since his caps might not be clean and he’s sure 51 wouldn’t notice. But you did!

Sunday dinners are a thing at your aunt and uncle’s which is something Joe wants to incorporate in your own home life. Having dinner with family is so important (even eating with everyone at 51, joe holds dear to his heart) and likes that it isn’t tense like it would be with his dad and Leon. He helps your aunt with the dishes while your uncle chats with him and you’re working on plating the dessert.

They’re asking the tough questions he’s prepared for. Where you’ll see this relationship going in the next five years after marriage? Would marriage still be on the table if you choose to keep seeing each other and not go through with it? How you’ll handle disagreements? How many kids if the lord is willing/ how you’ll raise them and in what faith? How you’ll plan to support each other in life?

You don’t interact with Joe’s father since he doesn’t either. One day you were sure he would tell him but his tío is aware of his choice, which is concerning at first but tells Joe that he hears the sincerity in his voice. You do have a hour long conversation with Leon who gives his stamp of approval, calling you, “sis,” already which makes you grin knowing that his spirit is just as infectious miles apart. He’s direct in questioning your love for his big bro and you give just the right answers.

House 51 is welcoming, more brief, and humorous. The usual standard questions: what do you do for work? Hobbies? Why on earth would you pick Joe to marry? Lightheartedness which is more easy to deal with than the seriousness of your aunt + uncle and Leon.

The tour of the firehouse is eye-opening along with the few stories joe tells you about. You know when to give squad 3 shit back whenever you pop in and the older men become family too with lots of texting in a group chat without joe—which he’s confused on why but accepts it after some time knowing it’s no ill intent but definitely side eyes severide if he feels like he’s getting too close to you for his liking but ultimately knows you have no interest in anybody but him.

Leaves out that he had a minor dating history with sylvie and is awkward when you two meet. Otis finds this amusing and slyvie is confused on why Joe is being weird but says nothing more than that. You eventually find out that the two use to date + how it ended + they’re still friends and you shrug, “okay…do you want to see any of my exes to make yourself feel better?” Joe’s giving you wide eyes and spits out, “that’s only going to give me high blood pressure, so no thanks.” You burst out laughing against his chest, “then let’s finish our show.”

You don’t mind having times where you don’t do much but you also like a balance of doing more than just simple. Joe takes those hints and tries to come up with ideas here and there in his free time and if you’re not feeling it you’ll come to some sort of compromise.

Things feel natural between you two like you’ve been in each others lives for a decade already. Was that enough to carry you through marriage?

You feel pretty in your dress and not nervous which makes those in your corner eye each other. You usually always keep your composure but most expected you to be a little nervous but you weren’t. You knew what you had waiting for you out there and it felt right. The conversation you had with Joe the night before last also made you content with your decision.

The compliments were flowing as you stood in front of each other with soft smiles. The ceremony felt as fast as this proposal and you had the honors of going first, “…I met a guy with a heart of gold and wants to see the best in everyone. The one who constantly makes me feel like it’s okay to accept love past a friendship and see a lifetime worth of memories in his eyes. I love how we are together, show up for each other, and that I am the only woman in your heart. Marriage is the biggest leap on top of this proposal and I’d be honored to be your wife. To show you just how much love I can give in return….”

It’s Joe’s turn, “…I usually don’t have the best judgement when it comes to love but you’ve shown me that anything is possible. That I made the right choice and can push to do whatever my heart desires and I’m positive that’s you. You’re so uplifting even with your sense of humor and I think that’s the best thing I can ask for. Someone always having my back but also knowing when to tell me that I don’t need to give everything away if people aren’t ready to accept it. I knew I could love you not only in the pods and yeah I wear my heart on my sleeve a lot but I won’t be ashamed of that. You never make me feel ashamed of that. This is the most insane experience that I was forced into which I can thank my boy, Otis for! but it brought me to you and I can’t be mad at that. I love us and I’ll love us even more with time. We have a bond that is meant to last so I know we’ll still make in due time…”

Which is why you chose to hold onto your engagement longer because that felt right. You both moved to your own drum but Patience felt like key in this relationship. You didn’t want to break up but just grow and it made the most sense although many were clueless at this being the route you both took including the producers.

You still had an engagement party at firehouse 51 since the producers didn’t want to include the reception since you both didn’t go forth with a marriage. “You’re probably gonna regret that when the real marriage happens buddy. They pay for all that crap.” Otis whispers over champagne and joe groans before he remembers, “well I’m sure her uncle will help out since he was in the CIA or something…I hope.”

Before long you’re both on the dance floor, happy with where you both stand in the now and what’s later to come.

ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ. ಇ.

FEB. FLUFF FIN.

[cutielando]

Thanks a million♥️ So for the Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek requests I was thinking something along the lines of (reader aka y/n) is a new paramedic at firehouse 51 and everyone including Brian is shocked when she takes an immediate interest in him by flirting with him in front everyone… it’s not a perfect idea so pls feel free to adjust where you feel necessary, this is more of like a guideline than anything.

I was watching the episode where Terra Little joins 51 for a training shift and Otis is attracted to her but of course she chose Kelly Severide instead🥱 so I thought it would be a nice change if Otis is the guy she instantly gravitated towards because it’s very possible I mean he’s adorable common.

my masterlist

Pairing: Brian "Otis" Zvonecek x Female!Reader

"And that would be everything" Sylvie said as she finished giving you a tour of the firehouse.

Joining the 51 had been nerve-wrecking for you ever since you found out your transfer had gone through, mainly because you knew how tight everyone was and you didn't want to intrude on anything.

"Thank you for showing me around. This is much nicer than the last firehouse I was at" you said, admiring the trucks and the ambulance, which was so much nicer than your previous ones.

"How was your last firehouse?" she inquired, not having received much information about you from Chief Boden.

"Typical boy house. I was the only female in the entire house, so you can imagine the atmosphere. The only one who wasn't bothered by my presence was my partner, but we were the same age, so that helped a little" you explained, continuing to walk around.

"I can promise you that it's going to be different here. Our guys are the best, you're going to fit right in with everyone" she smiled and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, steering you in the kitchen direction.

You didn't say anything as you slowly walked towards everyone, each of them minding their own business in the kitchen.

"Guys, this is Y/N. She's the new paramedic I was telling you about" Sylvie announced as you stopped in your tracks where everyone could see you.

"Hi" you said and waved shyly, not used to having so many intimidating pairs of eyes on you at the same time.

Each of them got up and introduced themselves one at a time, wishing you a warm welcome.

"I'm Brian, but everyone here calls me Otis. Welcome to 51, I hope you'll feel at home here" the most handsome man you'd ever seen said as he stood before you, hand outstretched.

You slowly brought your hand up and shook his, electricity quickly spreading through your body when your skin touched his. You inhaled a deep breath, Otis doing the same, which made you smile because it only meant that he felt the connection too.

"Y/N, nice to meet you. I'm positive I'll feel more than welcome here, especially with you around" the words stumbled out of your mouth before you could even think about stopping them.

You saw a slight blush coat Otis' cheeks as he looked around at his colleagues, all looking at the interaction between the two of you with much interest.

Otis cleared his throat and made you snap back to reality, suddenly becoming aware of everyone staring at the two of you and your hands still holding onto each other.

"Otis, why don't you finish the rest of the tour? Show her where we sleep when on shift and the lockers and showers and everything" Sylvie spoke up, sneakily winking at the flustered firefighter.

"Um, ye-yeah, sure. This way" Otis said and motioned for you to follow him.

You turned around briefly to look at Sylvie, who winked at you and smiled, making you smile back.

"She did this on purpose, didn't she?" you asked him, trailing after him down the corridor.

"Sylvie? Yeah, she likes to think she's Cupid and her main goal in life is setting people up every chance she gets. I'm sorry about this" he said, scratching the back of his neck.

"You don't have to be sorry, I'm not complaining one bit" you smiled at him, trying to show him that you were enjoying the situation to the fullest.

"Oh, great. That's, um, that's good" Otis said, cursing under his breath at how awkward he sounded.

"You haven't done this in a while, have you?" you questioned, trying to ease the tension.

"Is it that obvious?" he laughed, the rigidness in his shoulder slightly lessening.

"Maybe just a little" you laughed with him.

"I'm just not used to women showing interest in me first. It's always Casey or Severide or anybody else that gets the girls. It's never me" he explained, which made you feel a little sad for him.

Otis was nothing short of hot and extremely handsome, you couldn't understand why women wouldn't approach him.

"Well, if you're asking me, you're way hotter than everyone else in this firehouse" you leaned in and whispered in his ear before walking away.

You heard Otis inhale a deep breath behind you, making you smile.

You had a feeling you were going to enjoy life at 51.

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None Of This Is Your Fault.

Brian "Otis" Zvonecek x Fem!Firefighter!Reader

A/N: Sorry that I've been so inactive, I know this is no excuse but I school started and my job is starting to get into it's busy season and to my luck I managed to tear my meniscus and I've been in so much pain so writing has been the least of my concerns. I am getting surgery on Thursday so I will be writing more soon. For now, please enjoy my new fic.

This is a 20 chapter story and I've put 10 chapters in one fic. It's a lot but this is my apology for being inactive.

Chapter 1:

Five years. That’s how long I’ve been with Brian. It feels like a lifetime and just a blink at the same time. We met in the most unconventional of ways—running into each other during a late-night call, both of us soaked in sweat, soot smeared across our faces, the smell of smoke thick in the air. It wasn’t the most romantic setting, but maybe that’s why it worked. There was no need for pretenses between us. We were both drawn to the fire, the adrenaline, the chaotic beauty of our work. And somehow, through the chaos, I found him.

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek—my partner in every sense of the word. He’s not the guy who sweeps you off your feet with grand gestures or sweet talk. No, Brian is the guy who shows up every single day. He’s steady. Kind. Funny in the way that only he can be, with those ridiculous puns and the way his face lights up when he thinks he’s landed a good one. It’s impossible not to laugh when he’s around, and God, that’s what I love most about him—he makes everything lighter, even when the world feels heavy.

But these days, the world is feeling a little heavier than usual.

We’ve both been working nonstop—Firehouse 51 is like a second home, though lately, it feels more like a first. There’s something comforting about the firehouse, the constant hum of activity, the sound of the trucks rumbling to life, the distant chatter of my crew—no, my family. And Brian? He’s always been at the center of it all. Our relationship bloomed in this place, surrounded by the people who understand what we go through every day.

I remember the early days with him so clearly. It started as a few casual glances across the engine bay, nothing serious at first. Just an awareness of him. His laugh was what caught me. The way he threw his head back, completely unguarded, while the rest of us were tense and wired after a tough call. He had this way of letting it all roll off his back, and I admired that.

It wasn’t long before we were partnered on every shift, making excuses to grab dinner after. One night, after a particularly tough rescue, he suggested we go for wings. I was exhausted, drained, and covered in soot, but something in his voice made me agree. I needed that—something normal, something grounding. We sat in that little corner booth, devouring spicy wings, laughing about the ridiculousness of our lives. It was simple, but it was the first time I felt like I had found something real. Something worth holding onto.

That’s how we’ve always been—just us, grounded in the simplicity of being together. No grand romantic gestures, no pressure to be anything other than who we are.

And for five years, it worked. I always felt secure with Brian. Sure, we’ve had our share of arguments—what couple doesn’t?—but they were always small, petty things. We’d bicker about who forgot to fill the gas tank or who left the towels on the floor, but those disagreements never lasted long. We were always able to laugh it off, make a joke, and move forward.

Lately, though, I’ve been different. Not us—me. I feel it deep inside, like there’s something pulling me away, pulling us apart. I don’t know why, but these past few months, things that shouldn’t bother me do. Things that used to make me laugh now irritate me. And sometimes, when the irritation boils over, I lose control in a way I never have before.

Brian doesn’t say it, but I can tell he’s worried. He’s always watching me now, his brown eyes searching for some sign that I’m still the same Y/N he fell in love with. But the truth is, I don’t feel like the same person anymore, and that scares me more than I care to admit. The outbursts come out of nowhere—sudden, violent flashes of anger—and then, just as quickly, they’re gone, like they never happened. And the worst part? I can’t remember them.

It’s terrifying.

It started small. A broken plate here, a slammed door there. I chalked it up to stress. Firefighting is a tough job, and we’re no strangers to pressure. But as the weeks turned into months, the episodes became harder to ignore. They were no longer just occasional moments of frustration—they were frequent, and sometimes, I wouldn’t even realize something was wrong until I saw the look in Brian’s eyes. That look of concern, like he didn’t know how to help me, like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. I hated that look. It made me feel like I was losing him, losing us.

But I kept telling myself it was fine. I was fine. If I just pushed through, if I worked harder, the episodes would stop. I thought if I ignored it, I could outrun it.

I was wrong.

Tonight, as I lie in bed next to Brian, listening to his soft breathing, I can’t shake the feeling that something big is coming. Something we won’t be able to ignore. I stare at the ceiling, the weight of it pressing down on me, my chest tightening. The love I have for him is overwhelming, and I don’t know how to protect it anymore.

Brian stirs beside me, his arm draping across my waist as he pulls me closer in his sleep. I close my eyes, taking in the warmth of his body, the familiar scent of him. He feels like home. But the fear of losing that—of losing him—is more than I can bear.

Tomorrow is another shift. Another 48-hour stretch. I tell myself things will get better, that I just need to push through. But deep down, I know something has to give.

And I’m terrified that when it does, it’ll be too late to save what we’ve built.

Chapter 2:

The first time it happened, I barely noticed it. Looking back, that should have been my first clue. It was such a small thing—a flash of frustration that I thought was just stress from work. We were off-duty, Brian and I, sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. We’d been talking about the usual—our shifts, the next firehouse event, Cruz’s latest terrible joke. Brian had a way of making everything feel easy. Comfortable.

But that night, something was different.

I don’t even remember what set me off. One minute, we were laughing, and the next, I felt this surge of anger bubbling up inside me. It wasn’t anything Brian said or did, not really. It was more like a wave crashing over me, completely out of my control. I felt like I was drowning in it, and the next thing I knew, I was standing over the kitchen sink, my hands trembling as I stared at the shattered remains of a glass I didn’t even remember throwing.

Brian was standing a few feet away, his face pale, his eyes wide with shock.

“Y/N… what just happened?” His voice was quiet, careful.

I blinked, trying to piece together the moment, but it was like a fog had settled over my mind. “I—I don’t know.” My voice sounded distant, unfamiliar. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” he said quickly, stepping forward. He placed his hand gently on my arm, his touch grounding me. “It’s okay. It was just a glass.”

But it wasn’t just the glass, and we both knew it. Something had shifted inside me, something dark and uncontrollable. And the worst part was, I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t tell Brian what was wrong because I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I don’t know what happened.”

Brian smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine. We’re both tired. It was just a glass.”

I nodded, but as I swept up the broken shards, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had broken inside me, too. And it wasn’t going to be as easy to put back together.

Chapter 3:

Weeks passed, and the tension in the air between Brian and me seemed to grow with each passing day. It wasn’t just at home anymore—my outbursts were starting to creep into our shifts at the firehouse. It wasn’t anything major at first, just little moments where I’d snap at someone or lose my temper more easily than usual. Everyone chalked it up to the stress of the job, and I let them. It was easier than admitting something was wrong.

But inside, I could feel it building—this pressure, like a balloon swelling inside my chest, ready to burst. I thought I could handle it. I thought if I kept myself busy, if I focused on the work, I could push it down. But firefighting isn’t a job where you can afford to lose control.

I remember one call in particular. It was a standard house fire, nothing we hadn’t seen a thousand times before. The flames were manageable, but there was a lot of smoke. We went in as a team, each of us with a role, moving in sync like we always did. Brian was with me, like he usually was, our movements so familiar we didn’t even need to talk to communicate.

But something was off that day. The smoke felt heavier than usual, the heat more oppressive. My helmet felt like it was pressing down on my skull, making my head throb. I tried to push through it, focusing on the task at hand, but my mind was racing. Every sound—the crackle of flames, the muffled voices over the radio, even my own breathing in the mask—felt like it was closing in on me.

“Y/N, you good?” Brian’s voice crackled through my radio.

“I’m fine,” I muttered, though my vision was starting to blur at the edges. We were almost done, just a few more minutes. I could make it. I had to.

But then, out of nowhere, the frustration hit me. I don’t know why—it wasn’t a particularly stressful call—but something inside me snapped. I felt a surge of anger, irrational and uncontrollable. I swung my axe harder than I needed to, cutting through debris with more force than was necessary. I heard Brian call my name again, concern clear in his voice, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was too focused on the pounding in my head, the rage bubbling just beneath the surface.

When we finally exited the building, I ripped off my helmet and tossed it to the ground, breathing heavily. My heart was racing, my hands trembling.

“What the hell, Y/N?” Brian was at my side, his voice sharp. “You could’ve hurt yourself in there.”

“I’m fine,” I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” he said, his brow furrowing as he looked at me. “You’ve been off lately. This isn’t like you.”

I turned away, not wanting to hear the concern in his voice. I didn’t want to admit that he was right—that something was wrong with me. “I told you, I’m fine.”

But I wasn’t. I knew it, and Brian knew it, too.

Chapter 4:

The firehouse had always been a place of comfort for me. It was where I felt in control, where I knew I could make a difference. But lately, even that had started to feel like a burden. My outbursts were becoming more frequent, and I could see the strain it was putting on everyone—especially Brian.

At home, things were getting harder. Brian tried to be patient, but I could see the frustration in his eyes whenever I lost my temper. He’d always been the calm one, the one who could smooth things over with a joke or a smile. But even he couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine.

We had one of our worst fights a few nights after that call. I don’t even remember what started it—something small, something stupid. But it spiraled out of control so fast. One minute, we were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, and the next, I was yelling at him, accusing him of things that didn’t even make sense.

“You don’t even care about me anymore!” I shouted, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You’re always at work, or with Cruz, or doing anything but being here with me!”

Brian looked at me like I’d just slapped him. “Y/N, what are you talking about? I’m always with you! We work together, we live together—how much closer can we get?”

“That’s not what I mean!” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn’t care. “You’re here, but you’re not really here. You don’t look at me the same way anymore. You don’t—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice calm but firm. “That’s not true, and you know it. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

His words should have soothed me. They should have made me feel safe. But instead, they only made the anger flare hotter. “Then why do I feel so alone?” I whispered, my voice breaking.

Brian’s face softened, and he took a step closer, reaching for my hand. “Y/N, I’m right here. You’re not alone. But something’s going on with you, and you won’t talk to me about it.”

I yanked my hand away, refusing to meet his eyes. “I’m fine,” I muttered for what felt like the hundredth time.

But I wasn’t. I wasn’t fine, and I was pushing him away without even meaning to. I could see it in his eyes—the worry, the frustration, the helplessness. He didn’t know how to fix this, and neither did I.

That night, we went to bed without saying another word. Brian turned his back to me, and I lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of my own silence pressing down on me. I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him I was scared, that I didn’t know what was happening to me. But the words wouldn’t come.

All I could do was lie there and wonder how much longer we could keep pretending that everything was okay.

Chapter 5:

The firehouse was unusually quiet that night. It was the kind of quiet that crept into your bones, making you restless. We were on the second day of a 48-hour shift, and exhaustion hung in the air. Normally, a shift like this didn’t faze me—adrenaline and routine kept me going. But tonight, my head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. The migraine was pounding behind my eyes, a dull, throbbing pain that no amount of coffee could fix.

I rubbed my temples, trying to will the headache away. Brian had noticed it earlier in the shift and offered me some Tylenol, but I turned him down. There was something about this headache that felt different, heavier. And I was already on edge—there was no way I wanted to dull my senses while on duty.

I kept my distance from the crew tonight, choosing to sit quietly at the kitchen table, nursing my coffee and staring blankly at the TV. Normally, I’d be laughing with the rest of them, especially Brian and Cruz, who were busy trading ridiculous jokes and stories. But I couldn’t focus on any of it. The migraine had lodged itself deep in my skull, making every sound feel like nails on a chalkboard.

I was counting down the hours. Only eight more hours of this shift. And then, finally, Brian and I could go home, grab food from the new Wingstop, and just unwind. It had been a long week, and I was craving something normal, something that would remind me of the simplicity of us. I clung to the thought of getting those wings together. It was the one thing keeping me grounded, the one thing I was looking forward to after the chaos of the last two days.

As if on cue, Brian wandered over to me, his smile easy as always, though I could see the concern lingering in his eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly, sitting down across from me. “How’s your head?”

I forced a small smile, though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Still there, but it’ll pass. Just need to get through these last few hours.”

“We’re almost done,” Brian said, his hand reaching out to gently brush mine. “And then it’s Wingstop time, right? I’m starving.”

I nodded, feeling a small flicker of relief. “Yeah, can’t wait. Been thinking about it all day.”

Brian paused, his brow furrowing slightly. “Actually… about that. I just grabbed Wingstop with Cruz an hour ago. Didn’t realize you’d still want it tonight. You cool with grabbing something else?”

The words barely registered at first. They came out so casually, so matter-of-fact. But as they sank in, I felt a sharp, searing heat rise in my chest. My fingers tightened around the coffee mug in my hand as the rage swelled, unbidden and uncontrollable. I blinked, my vision blurring for a moment as my heart pounded in my ears.

“Wait, what?” I could hear the edge in my voice, sharp and venomous, even as I tried to keep it together. “You just had Wingstop? You knew we were supposed to get it together after shift.”

Brian’s eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden shift in my tone. “I didn’t think it’d be a big deal. We can still get it if you want. I’ll eat it with you, no problem.”

“No,” I snapped, the word flying out before I could stop it. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Brian frowned, confusion and concern mingling on his face. “Y/N, what’s going on? It’s just food. If you want Wingstop, we’ll get Wingstop. It’s not a big deal.”

But to me, it was a big deal. It felt like everything—the headache, the exhaustion, the tension between us—was boiling over, and this one tiny thing had pushed me over the edge. I could feel it happening, the anger building into something unstoppable, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“You always do this!” I shouted, my voice breaking as the room seemed to close in around me. “You say one thing and then turn around and do whatever you want! Do you even care about what I want anymore? All I wanted was this shift to end so we could finally go home and have a normal night together. But no—of course you couldn’t even wait for me to get the food we talked about!”

“Y/N,” Brian said softly, reaching out to touch my arm, “I didn’t mean—”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I jerked away from him, my heart racing as the room fell silent. Everyone was staring now—Cruz, Mouch, Sylvie, Herrmann. Even Chief Boden, who had been standing by the door, was watching with furrowed brows.

I could feel my hands shaking, my vision blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. “All I wanted,” I choked out, my voice trembling, “was a little quality time with my boyfriend. But instead, I get stuck on this miserable shift with a migraine and a boyfriend who only cares about himself.”

The words hung in the air like poison, and as soon as they left my mouth, I felt something inside me shatter. My heart was pounding, my breath coming in ragged gasps, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t even recognize myself in that moment. This wasn’t me.

Brian stood there, frozen, his face pale with shock and hurt. “Y/N, I…”

But before he could say anything else, it was like a switch had flipped. The anger drained out of me as quickly as it had come, leaving me feeling hollow and confused. I blinked, wiping my tear-streaked face as I straightened my posture, suddenly aware of the silence in the room.

“Why… why am I crying?” I asked, my voice soft, bewildered. I looked around at everyone’s faces—confusion, concern, shock—all eyes on me. The pressure in my head eased slightly, the migraine fading as quickly as it had come.

Without another word, I turned and walked to the bathroom, the weight of everyone’s stares pressing down on me like a heavy fog.

Chapter 6:

I spent a long time in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and staring at my reflection in the mirror. My face was flushed, my eyes red from crying, but it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that scared me. It was the blank space in my mind, the way the anger had flared so hot and fast, only to disappear without a trace. I didn’t remember half of what I’d said, and what I did remember felt like it had come from someone else’s mouth, not mine.

I leaned against the sink, gripping the edge of the counter so hard my knuckles turned white. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but it was getting worse. And I was terrified.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Brian waiting for me by the door. His face was etched with worry, but his voice was calm and steady when he spoke. “Chief wants to see us in his office.”

My stomach dropped. I nodded silently and followed him down the hall, my footsteps heavy, my heart pounding in my chest. Chief Boden rarely called anyone into his office unless it was serious. And this? This was definitely serious.

When we stepped into the office, Chief was sitting behind his desk, his expression unreadable. He gestured for us to sit, and the tension in the room was thick as we did. Brian sat next to me, close but not touching, his hands resting tensely in his lap.

“Y/N,” Chief Boden began, his deep voice gentle but firm. “Brian explained what’s been going on with you lately. I need you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”

I nodded, my throat tight.

“I’ve seen my share of stress in this job. I’ve seen how it can affect people—physically, mentally, emotionally. But what happened out there today wasn’t normal, and it wasn’t safe. For you or for anyone else. You’ve been one of the best firefighters on this team, but I can’t have you putting yourself or others at risk.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling over me like a cold blanket.

“I’m not asking,” Chief continued, his eyes locking onto mine. “I’m ordering you to go to Chicago Med. You’re not coming back on shift until the doctors clear you.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “Chief, I—”

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said, his voice softening but still firm. “You need to get checked out. Something’s going on, and you can’t ignore it anymore.”

I felt Brian’s hand brush against mine, a silent show of support, but I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t face the disappointment in his eyes. All I could do was nod again, feeling a wave of helplessness crash over me.

“Take the rest of the day,” Chief said. “Go to Med. We’ll be here for whatever you need, but you’re not coming back until you get answers.”

Brian stood up, helping me to my feet as we left the office in silence. I could barely process what had just happened—how quickly everything had spiraled out of control. As we walked out of the firehouse and towards the car

Chapter 7:

The ride to Chicago Med was eerily quiet. Brian drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight, his gaze focused on the road. I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window, my mind a blur of confusion, guilt, and fear. Every bump in the road sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull, but it wasn’t just the migraine anymore—it was the uncertainty gnawing at my insides. Something was wrong with me. Deep down, I knew that now. But the thought of facing it, of having a doctor tell me what was happening… I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

Brian didn’t say much during the drive, and I was grateful for that. I wasn’t sure what I would have said if he’d asked me how I was feeling. How was I supposed to explain the emptiness inside me, the way I felt like a stranger in my own body?

As we pulled into the parking lot of Chicago Med, Brian finally spoke, his voice soft but steady. “I’m coming in with you.”

I nodded, unable to find the words to argue. I didn’t want to do this alone. I didn’t want to walk into that hospital and face whatever it was that had been slowly unraveling me. And as much as I hated feeling vulnerable, I needed him with me.

The bright lights of the hospital stung my eyes as we walked through the automatic doors, the sterile smell of antiseptic hitting me like a wall. Brian led the way, his hand resting on the small of my back, guiding me through the bustling halls. We didn’t have to wait long before we were ushered into an exam room by a nurse, who took my vitals and asked the standard questions.

Then, there was more waiting.

I sat on the exam table, swinging my legs back and forth, my hands folded tightly in my lap. Brian stood next to me, close enough that our arms brushed every now and then, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His presence was enough—steady, calming, even though I knew he was as scared as I was.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open, and Dr. Will Halstead walked in. I knew him well—he’d treated me a few times before, and he was a friend of ours outside of work. But today, he didn’t greet me with the usual smile or lighthearted joke. His expression was serious, concerned.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, glancing between me and Brian as he took a seat on the stool across from us. “I hear you’ve been having some… unusual symptoms.”

I nodded, my throat tight. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

Will frowned, his brow furrowing as he flipped through my chart. “Brian filled me in on what’s been going on. The headaches, the mood swings, the memory loss… we’re going to run a few tests to get a clearer picture. I know it’s scary, but we need to figure out what’s causing all of this.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “Do you have any idea what it could be?”

Will hesitated, and that hesitation sent a chill down my spine. “There are a few possibilities,” he said carefully, “but I don’t want to jump to conclusions until we have more information. We’re going to start with a CT scan to get a look at what’s going on inside your brain.”

Inside my brain.

The words echoed in my head, sending a fresh wave of panic through me. I glanced at Brian, who was watching me closely, his expression unreadable. He reached out, taking my hand in his, and I squeezed it tightly, my pulse racing beneath my skin.

“Okay,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter 8:

The waiting was the worst part.

After the CT scan, they sent me back to the exam room to wait while the results were processed. Every second that ticked by felt like an hour. I sat there, nervously tapping my foot on the floor, while Brian paced back and forth in front of me. His anxiety was palpable, and it mirrored the panic building in my chest. I didn’t know what was worse—the not knowing, or the fear of what we were about to find out.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Will came back into the room, holding a manila folder in his hand. His expression was serious—too serious. My stomach twisted into knots as I watched him sit down again, the air between us heavy with tension.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice low, “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. The CT scan showed something concerning.”

I felt Brian’s hand tighten around mine, his grip almost painfully strong. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight, my heart pounding in my ears. “What is it?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Will took a deep breath, his eyes soft with sympathy. “You have a tumor in your brain. It’s located in the frontal lobe, which explains the mood swings and memory lapses you’ve been experiencing. It’s putting pressure on the surrounding areas, which is likely causing the migraines as well.”

A tumor. The word hit me like a freight train, knocking the air from my lungs. I stared at Will, uncomprehending, as if he’d just spoken a foreign language.

A tumor. In my brain.

I felt the world tilt beneath me, everything spinning out of control. My heart pounded in my chest, and I was suddenly aware of every sound, every breath, every sensation. Brian’s hand in mine, Will’s steady gaze, the sterile scent of the hospital—all of it felt too real, too overwhelming.

“I—I don’t understand,” I stammered, shaking my head. “A tumor? How…?”

Will nodded gently, leaning forward, his tone careful but honest. “It’s a lot to process, I know. But the good news is that we caught it early. It’s operable, which means we can remove it. We’re going to need to schedule surgery as soon as possible.”

Surgery. Tumor. The words swirled in my head, but none of them made sense. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was healthy. I was a firefighter—I fought through flames, saved lives. I wasn’t supposed to be the one lying in a hospital bed, waiting for a doctor to cut into my skull.

I felt my hands start to tremble, and suddenly, the weight of everything came crashing down on me. The months of mood swings, the fights with Brian, the outbursts I couldn’t control—it all made sense now. There was a tumor inside me, something foreign and dangerous, controlling me from the inside out.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, my voice breaking as the tears started to fall. “Brian… I’m so sorry.”

Brian’s arms were around me in an instant, pulling me close as I sobbed into his chest. “No,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Y/N. None of this is your fault.”

“But I—” I tried to speak, but the words were lost in the sobs that shook my body. All the anger, the fear, the guilt—I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I’ve been awful to you. I didn’t know…”

Brian held me tighter, his hand running through my hair as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “None of it matters. We’re going to get through this. You’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to believe him, but all I could think about was the word that Will had said: tumor.

Chapter 9:

We left Chicago Med in a daze. The world outside felt too normal, too calm, compared to the storm raging inside me. The sky was still a brilliant blue, people walked down the street, completely oblivious to the fact that my life had just been turned upside down. Brian drove in silence, his hand resting on mine, squeezing gently every so often as if he was reminding himself I was still there. I couldn’t get the word out of my head—tumor.

It felt like some terrible nightmare, one that I hadn’t woken up from yet. Except this wasn’t a nightmare. This was real, and no amount of blinking or pinching myself would make it go away.

We pulled into the firehouse parking lot. I didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to face the crew and see their reactions when they found out. But we had to. They were my family—they deserved to know.

As soon as we stepped inside, I could feel the weight of everyone’s stares. They knew something was wrong. Cruz and Mouch were sitting on the couch, glancing at us with concern. Herrmann, sitting at the table, stood up as soon as he saw us, his brow furrowed.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice cautious.

I looked at Brian, but the words got stuck in my throat. How was I supposed to tell them? How was I supposed to explain that everything I’d been through over the past few months wasn’t just stress or exhaustion, but something far more terrifying?

Brian took a deep breath, his voice low and steady. “We went to Chicago Med. Will Halstead ran some tests on Y/N.” He paused, his grip on my hand tightening. “They found a tumor. In her brain.”

The room went silent.

It was like the air had been sucked out of the firehouse. I could see the shock ripple across their faces, the confusion, the fear. Cruz’s mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. Boden stepped forward, his eyes filled with quiet understanding.

“A tumor?” Herrmann repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. “What does that mean? Is it… is it serious?”

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. “It’s operable,” I said, the words sounding distant, as if someone else were speaking them. “They’re scheduling the surgery soon. I’ll… I’ll be okay. That’s what Will said.”

But as I said it, I wasn’t sure if I believed it. The fear gnawed at my insides, making it hard to breathe, hard to think. How could I be sure everything would be okay when nothing felt okay right now?

There was a long, heavy pause before Boden spoke. “We’re going to be here for you, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice steady and full of quiet authority. “Whatever you need—whether it’s before, during, or after the surgery—you’re not going through this alone.”

The words should have brought me comfort, but instead, they only made the knot in my chest tighten. I didn’t want to be the one who needed help. I didn’t want to be the one who was weak, who was sick. I was a firefighter. I was supposed to be strong, to take care of others. Not the other way around.

But now, everything had changed.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer. The sobs broke through, my chest heaving as I tried to breathe, to speak. “I’m sorry,” I choked out, my voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

Boden stepped closer, his hand resting gently on my shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said softly.

But I did. I was sorry for everything—for the outbursts, for the way I’d lashed out at Brian, for the times I’d scared the crew with my unpredictability. I felt like I was falling apart, unraveling at the seams, and I couldn’t stop it.

Brian pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as the tears streamed down my face. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t hold anything back anymore. I cried for everything—the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered into Brian’s chest, my voice trembling. “I don’t know how to be this person. I don’t know how to… how to be weak.”

Brian’s voice cracked as he held me even closer. “You’re not weak,” he whispered fiercely. “You’ve never been weak, Y/N. You’re the strongest person I know. And you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re all here for you—for whatever you need.”

I shook my head, pulling back just enough to look up at him, my eyes red and swollen. “But I’ve been so awful to you. I pushed you away. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice thick with emotion. “None of that matters now. None of it. You were scared, and you didn’t know why. But we know now. And we’re going to fix it. Together.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted so badly to believe that everything would be okay. But the fear was still there, lurking in the background, whispering that things might never be the same again.

The crew stepped forward one by one, each offering words of support, hugs, and quiet reassurances. It was overwhelming—feeling so much love and care when all I felt inside was fear. I wanted to tell them how much it meant to me, how grateful I was, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Finally, Boden spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. “You need to rest, Y/N. Go home, get some sleep, and prepare for the surgery. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep with everything swirling inside me. But I appreciated the sentiment. I appreciated all of them.

Brian took my hand, and we started to leave. As we walked out of the firehouse, I looked back at the crew—my family—standing there, watching us with worried eyes. They believed in me. They believed I could get through this.

I just wished I could believe it too.

Chapter 10:

The night before the surgery was the longest night of my life.

Brian and I went back to our apartment, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the silence between us wasn’t filled with tension or misunderstanding. It was just… heavy. There was nothing more to say, nothing more to do but wait. I could see the worry etched into Brian’s face every time I caught him glancing at me. He tried to hide it, but I knew him too well.

We made dinner, but I could barely eat. The thought of surgery, of having someone cut into my brain, was too much to bear. I pushed the food around on my plate, my stomach churning with anxiety.

Brian eventually took my hand, pulling me into the living room. We sat on the couch, and I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as he gently stroked my hair. His touch was soothing, grounding me when my mind started to spiral.

“I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Brian whispered back, his voice soft and full of love. “I’m scared too. But you’re going to get through this. We’re going to get through this.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to hold onto his words like a lifeline. But the fear, the uncertainty—it was all-consuming. I couldn’t shake the thought that something could go wrong, that I might not wake up after the surgery, that everything could change in a matter of hours.

“What if…” I started, my voice trembling. “What if something happens? What if I’m not the same after?”

Brian’s hand stilled in my hair, and he pulled back just enough to look at me. His eyes were filled with so much love, so much emotion, that it took my breath away.

“No matter what happens,” he said softly, “I’m here. I love you, Y/N. Nothing’s going to change that.”

The tears welled up again, and I blinked them away, trying to stay strong. But Brian’s words broke something inside me, and before I knew it, I was sobbing, my whole body shaking as I clung to him.

“I don’t want to lose myself,” I cried. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Brian whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You won’t lose me. You’re not going anywhere, Y/N. You’re stronger than this. We’ll face whatever comes next together.”

I buried my face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his arms around me, and for the first time that night, I allowed myself to believe him.

[persage]

FORGIVEN- Brian Otis Zvonecek

Summary: You and Brian haven't seen each other for months, distanced by pain and resentment, but the past comes back to knock at the door a night like any other (but not without the help of Brett and Joe )

Warnings : Mention of Panic Attack and past abusive relationships

17.30 PM

"For the last time, Sylvie: I don't intend to come at any double date with... her." It's been about ten times that Otis has told her this, yet his friend hasn't stopped pestering him since the morning.

"It's not a double date!" Sylvie replies "You are just coming to the the Street Food Expo  with me, Joe and y/n."

"And I bet it's a coincidence that we are four people and two of us are a couple and then there's me and y/n. If this isn't a double date..." He mutters, shaking his head.

"Come on," She pleads "if you'll come, y/n won't be hanging around me and Joe all the time but at the same time she won't be in danger being alone at home. You know, since she has broken up with that asshole, Marcus, he follows her everywhere. He has even stopped by my apartment a few times, we haven't opened the door but it was scary as hell."

Otis tries to ignore the painful pinch in his chest at the mention of Marcus and the fact that he is now your ex. He tries to stop the anger that boils in his veins at the idea that someone could even think of hurting you. "Right, and you can't ask anyone else?"

This is not how he wants to say it, he doesn't know why words escape his lips like this. "No Otis, I can't and you know it too. You were her best friends, you still are." He shakes his head again, Brett nails him with an accusing look. "Come on, I'm begging you. If you don't want to do it for her, do it for me."

And truth is, Brian would do anything for you.

He has already done it, everything.

He has tired to save you for two years from that toxic and wrong relationship you got yourself stuck into, getting a door in his face and a broken heart in return. When Marcus has forced you to choose one day, you've chosen him.

"I don't even like the expo" He replies but now he's already convinced to come and Brett knows it.

"Pick us up at half past eight, be punctual and..." "But I do not -"

"Be on time and wear something nice, okay? You never know what can happen" After lingering for several seconds and insulting himself with at least fifteen different offensive expressions, in fact, Otis sighs and gives up.

"Alright then."

"Oh thanks!" Sylvie throws her arms around his neck, euphoric

"Thank you, thank you, tha –"

"Let's be clear about one thing, though" he interrupts her without breaking away "first: you owe me a favor, and secondly... You are aware that if this is a move to clarify things between me and y/n it won't work, right?" Brett giggles in amusement, pulling away but still holding him by the shoulders.

"Don't worry Otis, this night is for me not for you."

And Brian doesn't know why, but when Brett leaves a strange feeling pushes between in his chest and throat, something like an itch that he can not soothe. "But if you still want her, I'm sure y/n needs you"

This perhaps makes him feel almost worse.

9.15 PM

Friday night is almost as sacred to you as Christmas to your mother. Although practically everyone thinks of you as a pub girl, you love to spend Fridays at home, on the sofa wearing only a tank top, bra free, with sweatpants, a glass of wine and Marcus by your side back during the good old days, when he still was the guy you fell in love with in high school.

There was another time then when your Friday nights - but also your Saturdays and Tuesdays - were the Mollys.

Brian, to be more specific.

Your Fridays has been Brian at one point. When with Marcus it was all ups and downs, all messed up and sad and pathetic, you have found yourself there more and more, with that sweet, nice fireman you had slept with once, during one of the many breakups with Marcus, and who then somehow had became your best friend.

A friendship you've always  paid dearly for.

A punch once. A kick in the ribs. A glass on the head yet another time. Every time Marcus has remembered that Otis was still  part of your life, it has gotten worse. And you have accepted everything, without saying anything to Brian, because you were sure that if he knew that what you were going through was somehow his fault - of his texts and his calls-  then he would have felt guilty forever and you didn't want to. Also he was going to kill Marcus, and you didn't want that too. He would have tried to save you. Indeed he did it to be honest, after two years of friendship, after two years of lies and subterfuge, after two years in which you swore you had left Marcus so many times.

"It's really over" but then you always came back to him and Brian could only watch you self-destruct in the name of your sick love, of a life you didn't deserve, a man who have convinced you that you're worthless without him.

And that's how you feel now: worthless and pathetic.

Brian has tried to save you, even putting Antonio in the middle and reporting Marcus.

He did it without your knowledge, while you were still unconscious in a hospital bed, after Marcus threw you down the stairs.

A concussion, bruised face, broken rib and arm. Even that wasn't enough to make you give up.

"I fell" You have said to the police, saving his ass again one time.

"You didn't have the right" you have yelled at Brian, later, with an IV still in your body. He couldn't look at your swollen and pale face, he couldn't touch your cold skin. He couldn't accept that the best person he knew, the only woman in the world from whom he had willingly accepted a friend-zone because he would have wanted you in his life in any way, the person he called at the end of every difficult shift and  knew how to calm him like no one else in the world, you, his precious y/n were a mess of bruises, tears and broken bones.

In his heart he blamed himself for everything, because he should have stopped it, he should have killed Marcus, he should have asked you out after your first -and only- night together instead of waiting days just to find you with him again.

He should have understood sooner that he was the right man for you, gathered courage and stepped forward.

Brian could not understand that you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

"I can stand up for myself"

"Oh I. see it. Fuck I'm tired of finding you like this, I'm tired of standing still while you let that son of a bitch kill you."

He raised his voice and waved his hands in the air gesturing in a way that for some reason scared you and covered your face to protect yourself.. Your body instinctively reacted to the only thing it knew by now: violence and Brian looked at you with the biggest eyes in the world, scared of himself.. He brought a hand to his face, trying to hide how much that gesture of yours struck him, then he leaned towards you and gently as if you were made of glass, he embraced you.

It was the last time.

When you met again, Brian was at your door. When you met again, you had just discovered that no, he hadn't given up on the Marcus investigation and had continued to put Voight and his bloody cop friends in the middle.

"I did it because I'm your friend y/n fuck"

You opened the door just enough to see his face collapse as you yelled.

"Then maybe you shouldn't be. I don't need you"

It's been four months. Somehow you found the courage to leave Marcus when you saw him try to lay hands on Sylvie, one evening when she came by to see how you were doing. 

You've moved in with her, you've taken your life back in your hands . You've never seen Brian though.

"Hurry up y/n" Brett intimates.

"Take it easy, Joe will surely be late anyway" You reply, putting on your lipstick.

"There's been a change of plans," Syilvie says hastily, pulling on her black boots.

"Joe and Otis will be picking us up in a bit."

"When were you going to tell me he's coming too?" you scream, your voice  high-pitched, smearing lipstick in your cheeks in anxiety. You clean yourself quickly, so hard it feels like you want to peel off your skin and you try not to notice the way your heart has started pounding at the mention of his name.

You tell yourself that you can do it, that it's okay, that you're ready to see him again even if you know it's not true. For a moment a little voice whispers in you ear that you shouldn't go with them, but you can't: the idea of being alone still scares you.

"Please wipe that depressed look off your face" she begs.

"You know what's depressing? The fact that you have invited him because I can't be alone, at my age. It's all so absurd."

You shake your head, trying to smile

"Of all the people in the world you had to invite him? You couldn't invite... I don't know, Kelly? Dawson?" You ask, putting on your favorite jacket at full speed.

"Because he's your best friend and you miss him more than you care to admit and he's the only one you wouldn't be ashamed to tell what Marcus is still doing to you. Besides, I know he's the only one you could bear to spend some time with right now, he's special to you." she replies, bringing out the best of her innocent expressions, while you roll your eyes and just pray that it will end quickly.

You like less and less the fact that deep down you know how right Sylvie is: Brian Zvonecek is without a shadow of doubt the only person in the world who has managed to understand you, he was also the only one to touch the deepest strings of your heart when you thought it was made of stone after all the years with Marcus.

He has crushed your soul in a way no one had before and he did it with kindness and delicacy, without having to do anything more than be himself.

He has taught you to still believe in good people and in true love, the one made of caresses, of sharing, of sweetness.

You've figured it out too late and repaid him treating his like he didn't matter, like he wasn't important.

You know it's his greatest fear, being abandoned, being left behind, being less important to others, being the last wheel in the cart and you hurt him in the worst way.

No matter how much Sylvie and Joe keep telling you that it's not true, that in cases like yours it's a normal reaction, that Marcus has manipulated you for a long time, that Otis doesn't see it that way and that he will understand if you talk to him: you just can't look at his face now.

9.45 PM

"I still don't understand why I can't be in the front sit." Otis mutters, turning to look out the window at the Chicago nightscape.. It's just the beginning of the evening and he's already tired of the palpable tension between you two, he's tired of having to keep his head turned away because he can't bear the sight you, he's tired of feeling your eyes on him.

"Come on man. Sylvie 's my girlfriend it's normal that I make her sit here, Have you ever heard of gallantry?" Otis shakes his head. "Yes right, gallantry"

Sylvie turns towards you, she gives you a look to give you courage but you don't speak, you remain silent, you throw a few glances at Brian from time to time that he doesn't reciprocate and you are here, still, to torture your hands wondering if you should have stayed at home.

He hates you.

He hates you and you can't stand it.

When Cruz's car stops suddenly to avoid colliding with another car you are thrown forward hard. It's an instantaneous gesture, so quick, fast and natural that he doesn't realize it and maybe not even you. Not really.

In a second the fireman's arm is in front of you, as if to protect you, keeping you in your place, avoiding any kind of danger.

You don't even hear Joe and Sylvie's curses, you and Brian are still in your moment, still In the instant in which after so many months your bodies are touching again, and under layers of clothes you can both feel a shiver shaking your bodies .

"Everything Okay?" He asks, his voice shaking, realizing what he's just done. He withdraws his arm slowly, reluctantly. He hates to admit it, but he would like to stay like this forever.

This little contact, it seems enough for him and he feels like a fool.

A poor idiot in love.

You nod. "Everything fine?" You ask, looking directly at his face for the first time. You've missed his dark eyes so much that you can't quantify it in words, so much that the world exists only in his gaze and you wonder how you haven't realized before all this, how wonderful and big his eyes are.

How much you need his gaze on you.

He reciprocates with an intensity that scares you, that doesn't seem real. Marcus has never looked at you like that. Not even once.

Not even at the beginning.

Brian, he has looked at you like that all the time.

If he's still looking at you like that then maybe he doesn't hate you.

But then, as soon as he comes to his senses, his gaze returns hard, cold, distant, all hope is lost.

When the car starts again, he turns around and puts a distance between you two. The world is suddenly colder. He shifts his eyes to you, again and again, being careful not to be noticed.He thinks you are beautiful. He thinks you're beautiful and you seem better off without that asshole.

He can't help but be happy about it.

"It's going to be a long night," Joe murmurs softly.

I'm sure of that too, Otis thinks, still looking at you sideways.

He's never been lucky with love, of course, but with you it's something that goes beyond love, beyond friendship, beyond everything. Something he can't describe or name, but still hurts terribly

10 PM

Brian doesn't hate y/n, at all. He could never, not even when you  have decided to cut all ties. What makes him angry is never being able to fully understand you.

You are a mystery, even though he knows you so well. One second you're a strong and independent woman, the best he knows, the most talented, the liveliest and nicest, the next you're Marcus' puppet, silent at her side, submissive, afraid and dull.

Sure, it's not your fault, but he can't help but get angry to see how you let an ordinary man shut down someone as amazing as you, it angers him to know how little  respect you have for yourself to think you deserve something like this. No matter if it's over, Brian will carry this anger with him forever maybe.

Brett goes out of the car, clutching Cruz's arm, announcing that they're going to go for a walk on their own.

"No" You say instinctively. "I mean, I thought we were supposed to be together." You continue then, hoping you haven't offended Brian.

"We need to discuss something, then we'll catch up with you" Brett replies winking at Otis and walking away before he can reply.

Cruz doesn't know if his friend has the  strength to do it anyway. He is confused and upset to have you here again, Joe knows this and isn't entirely sure of Brett's plan.

"You're crazy" Joe whispers.

"They both need it, I can't take it anymore"

"You realize we're pretending to still be together just for them, Sylvie, you're crazy"  Joe shakes his head.

"it's crazy that those two don't talk to each other anymore"

Brian watches you, the way you bite your nails tense, the way you move your knee, and bite your lip. You are agitated and something more: scared. "Everything Okay?" He asks, his voice hoarse.

"Yes, yes, don't worry, it's just that I haven't imagine a night like this"

"And how have imagined it?" He asks. You shake your head, smile just letting your hair cover your face red with embarrassment.

"I didn't expect to see you Bri, I wasn't ready"And he almost wants to yell at you that you drove him away, and he doesn't need to talk. You know the face he makes when something makes him nervous, recognize it and remain silent. "I think we should go" he says he points to the stalls.. He starts walking then he stops and turns to you.

"I knew you'd be there, but it doesn't make it any easier"

You nod. "I'm sorry, I'd give anything to..."

The words dies in your throat.

"Me too y/n" he replies, hinting for the first time a smile under his mustache that you like so much.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat" he whispers.

You walk behind him.

It's not all solved, but it's a start and for now it already seems almost a miracle.

10.15 PM

You see him everywhere, it takes your breath away.

Marcus is in every shadow, in every man, in every corner and you can't help but tremble with every step you take. Your hands are shaking, your legs are limp and you're breathing hard but you don't want Brian to notice.

Marcus is in your head, just in your fucking head.

"Do you prefer ketchup or barbecue?" Brian turns to you, wallet in his hands, an almost serene expression on his face. It takes you a while to answer, to understand. You remember that you're at the hot dog stand, that everything's fine, that you're talking to Brian and Brett and Joe will be back soon and it'll be even better.

"I ... Nothing" You whisper, your voice trembles, your eyes move from side to side looking for something that can justify your fear, the shiver down your spine.

"You sure? Oh girl that's fool" He comments, giggling. You place a hand on his clutching wallet.

"No Bri, there's no need"

You don't want him to pay. It's not right.

"Look, it's okay. I'm still mad at you, but I'm also happy to be here and it won't make me broke" You don't even smile, you keep looking around you and you feel the air getting heavy, almost oppressive.

"Dude" One of the guys from the truck intervenes."Watch out for your girlfriend, she doesn't seem so well" Otis doesn't bother to say that you're not his girlfriend, he gently pushes you out of line as soon as he realizes you're shaking like a leaf and looking paler than ever.

He hates himself for not noticing it sooner.

"Ei ei y/n, what's going on?" You shake your head.

"it's nothing, it's All Right"

You can't tell him. You can't reopen this wound. Brian would freak out, look for Marcus.

What if... If he is really here?

He would put himself in danger for you, you know he would. You can't let it happen.

"I just need some air" You move away but Brian, quick as lightning, grabs you by the arm.. The gesture takes you back in time, where the hands holding you are not those of the fireman and they are not delicate at all but mean, cruel. You stiffen and Brian realizes it without you having to speak.

He seems to read your mind, he's always been good at it.

"Sorry" he whispers.

"You didn't do anything Bri. I'm not made of crystal, you can touch me"

You start walking again trying to erase the fear from your heart and he stops you after a few seconds, looking you up with his big dark eyes as if the whole world dependeds on you and you alone.

"Don' t look at me like this"

"Tell me what you have then"

You feel the tears tingling in your eyes when yet another shadow takes the form of your ex and feel your chest tighten and you want to die.

"Why? Damn Brian you should hate me! Stop worrying about me, I don't need you"

The man looks away, his jaw clenched and his brow furrowed.

You realize what you've said:

I don't need you.

You take a step towards him and try to grab his hand.

"I...I didn't mean...I" And you wonder how it's possible to mess it all up again so easily.

Otis' hand trembles in anger under your fingers.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"I will never stop worrying about you okay? I've tried and I just can't! It would have been wonderful to do it, to forget about you in a hospital bed bacause of that son of a bitch but there isn't a single, fucking day that I don't think about it and there isn't a day where I don't wonder what I could have done to stop it. And God, there isn't a day that I don't regret not making you fucking leave him earlier. For months I've spent every fucking second wondering how you were doing. So no, it's not about you. It's me. I, I need to know. Tell me what's wrong with you." He raises his voice but Brian doesn't scare you.

Come on, he's different and the way he looks at you... he's not angry, not really, it's something different and maybe worse: disappointed, desperate, scared even.

Terrified of realizing how his life depends on you.

"I see him everywhere" You confess in a faint voice, looking at the ground.

"I see Marcus everywhere and I'm terrified that I won't be able to figure out when he's really there and I'm scared of him, and I'm with you and he hates you so much and I'm scared he might hurt you. To you and the others and me.... I just want to erase him from my life but he's everywhere no matter what.

I left him he's everywhere and he'll never stop" Brian pulls you to him without thinking about it, as if months haven't passed, as if not a single day has passed. He squeezes you tight, you melt into tears with your face against his chest, sobbing like a baby.

"I'm sorry for how I behaved"

"Shhh it's okay, it's okay I know, I know don't worry I'm not angry. I swear it's okay"

He kisses your hair, kisses your forehead and every piece of skin he can reach and you've never felt as much at home as with him now.

"Marcus isn't here, and even if he was I wouldn't let him get near you, ever" This is exactly what scares you, but you don't say it, you don't have the strength.

"I don't deserve it" He shakes his head. "No, you don't deserve it. But I would do it anyway, even if you were the worst person on earth. And you're not" You smile as he slides his fingers through your hair.

"I think that Brett and Cruz have abandoned us"

"Actually, I'm kinda cold and I've never finished Galactica you know? " You confess.

He laughs, just moves away from you.

"You're so full of surprises" He fixes your hair and dries your tears with his tumb.

"Wanna go home?" He asks."

"No, I...God I don't know. I...I want to be with you. It doesn't matter where." You reply. You don't wanna rush things. The smile he gives you is priceless, you would spend hours looking at him like this, perhaps all the rest of your life if possible. You only care about him, the way he gazes at you and is so close, the warmth of his skin and the sparkle in his eyes.

I love you, you think.

I love you, Brian.

The realization falls on you like a Boulder. How can you only notice now?

It has always been so clear.

"Oh, seriously?" Laughs Otis "So how about we take a Taxi?" You nod smiling.

"As I said I need to finish Galactica"

"But you hate Galactica"

"But I love you"

[echos-muses]

i will literally never be over how peter mills is the one who went to hold matt after he got the news that hallie died. not even gabby could do it, but peter did it without hesitation. even though he felt some type of way towards casey, he went to comfort him when someone he loved and almost married died. everyone else was so shocked and didn’t know what to do, but peter? peter mills’s gut instinct was to put his personal feelings aside and comfort someone who he thought was making his life at work hell on purpose because he was with gabby. peter mills who instantly took in a puppy because it would’ve been drowned otherwise. peter mills who always tried to get people to smile. peter mills who lovingly cooked for everyone. i will never ever ever not love peter mills so much. he was such a great addition to the show. he was empathetic, kind, hard-working, ambitious, caring, determined. i love chicago fire so fucking bad, this show has genuinely made me sob so many times, so many ways, for so many different reasons.

[kiddbegins]

I Can’t Lose You. - Brian ‘Otis’ Zvonecek

Requested: yes

Word count: 810

Warnings: arguing but it ends happy so 🤸🏻✨

A/n: I couldn’t get the linking a gif to work but this is @winchesterszvonecek ‘s gif from this post.. actually i got it (thank you laptop) but bff this is still for you

Masterlist

“I can’t lose you.”

You and Otis didn’t fight a lot. In fact it was super rare and usually not even a fight. Just an argument . The difference being the arguments were always silly. What flavor skittle was the best (the green one.), your favorite Star Wars movie (Revenge of the Sith), which kind of soda was superior (Dr. Pepper.)

But this was a fight. Like actual yelling, crying and all. Your obliviousness was your achilles heel. You weren’t used to, well, people most of the time. Growing up you didn’t have many friends, you didn’t go out places most of college.

The only examples of the social life had been since you started seeing Brian a couple years ago and he basically swallowed you into his friend group who were truthfully always together.

Not that you complained because you loved them but still, everything was new to you. How were you supposed to know the guy that came up to you at the bar was flirting? “Bri, you know I don’t pick up on stuff like that!”

He wanted to believe you, but his own insecurities in himself more than anything picked at his rational, shoving it out the door. “You picked up on it when I was the one doing the flirting. When I was the one passing you drinks ‘on the house’ which you knew meant I was buying for you.”

“Yeah because I liked you! I wanted you to be flirting with me. I didn’t pick up on it, I just gave you my own googly eyes back.” You ran a hand down your face. “Look I’m not arguing with you over this, Brian. Either you believe me or you don’t. Pick.”

Your eyes darted over his, the anger and honestly, the fear, fighting against one another inside of you. You weren’t a liar. And you wanted to yell that at him. Force him to believe you. Because you hated this. All of this. But the other part of you was worried if you pushed him too much he just wouldn’t forgive you at all.

Otis wasn’t like that but truthfully this was also your first real fight. How did you actually know what he was like in them if you never got into one before? “Please believe me.” You couldn’t bear it in yourself to keep up the shield of anger. Not when the one thing you hated most was not being believed.

Instead, your previous emotion was fully replaced with fear. Undoubtful fear. “Please believe me because I can not lose you.” By now there were tears actively sliding down your face. You loved him. God did you love him. Every little molecule that made him had you swooning, always.

He had your attention the second you ran into one another at a cafe, literally. Your coffee down the front of his work shirt and everything. One of the most stereotypical meetcutes you could ever have but with how sweet he was when it happened? How could you not agree to hang out more?

Were you meant to turn him down? “You swear you didn’t notice?” Otis asked, his voice softer than before, the anger seeping out when he saw how your face twisted with sadness. You were his soft spot just as much as he was yours.

“I swear, Bri. I love you. Nobody else could even get me to pull my eyes away from you.” Hesitantly you stepped closer to him, grabbing his hands in yours. “You’re the love of my life, okay? If that guy was flirting, I didn’t realize because I didn’t care enough to. I care about you. Only ever you.”

Your words admittedly brought tears to the man’s eyes, nobody had ever been as sweet and caring as you were with him. Most of the time he was the second, even third choice. Half of him expected you to drop your attention from him to one of the ‘more attractive’ first responders the first night he brought you to Molly’s.

But you didn’t. Your body was glued to the edge of the bar, talking to him for the entire night. You were his before he even knew it. “Alright,” He let out a sigh, pulling you into a big bear hug. “I’m sorry. I really am. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you to some guy.”

“You won’t lose me. Ever. I’m here for the long run.” You took a pause, “And I’m hoping that you’ll figure that out soon enough and get moving.” Otis pulled away with a look of confusion on his face.

With a soft laugh you lifted your left hand, wiggling the fingers on it. “By the end of the year I’m really hoping this finger won’t be bare anymore.” You teased, leaning up to kiss his cheek, just happy that that crisis was easily averted.

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[wandamaxim0f]

Brian 'Otis' Zvonecek one-shot — Peace

Words: 1.2k

Otis x Female reader

TW: the tiniest bit of angst and lots of fluff! Also: pregnancy, anxiety, mentions of panic attacks

A/N: finally dared to post this one! I really like how it ended up, but please keep in mind english is not my first language so there may be some mistakes. I wrote this one with Peace by Taylor Swift in mind, enjoy!

Taglist: @winchesterszvonecek

And you know that I'd (...) give you my wild, give you a child

Your hands were shaking as you went to grab your cup of freshly brewed tea, the chamomile smell soothing you before you could even take a sip. You did your best to focus on the way the tea tasted, and how the warmth went through your mouth and down your throat, really trying to keep yourself grounded and not give into the panic attack that you felt around the corner.

Silly panic attack. You felt the clink of your wedding band against the beige cup. Your wedding ring, of all things. You two were married, and had been for almost a full year. Turning your head, you found the fridge with all of its magnets and notes. Some were sweet and loving, both in your handwriting and his, knowing some days one left for shift without seeing the other.

“I love you”; “Stay safe”; “Come home to me” were some of the messages the both of you had left, a reminder you had someone waiting for you after your shift at the Intelligence Unit, and he had someone waiting for him after his shift at firehouse 51.

A photo from your wedding day caught your eye. You two were married. He wouldn't leave. He wouldn't step back. He had literally signed up for this. He had scribbled down his signature on a paper that was securely put away on a folder full of important documents, and he had vowed to love you until death do you part.

The door opening startled you, even when you had woken up early to talk to him. Not that you could really sleep, anxiety keeping you awake and turning and tossing in the bed sheets; the smell that came from his shirt that you were wearing doing nothing to calm down your mind.

“Baby” called Otis, as soon as he closed the door and saw you sitting down at the kitchen island. He knew something was going on. Usually, on your days off, he would just get home and find you asleep in bed, not drinking tea in the kitchen.

Immediately, he dropped his bag and his arms found your figure, pulling you into his warm embrace and stepping in between your legs, holding you to his chest as his hands caressed your back in the way only he knew how.

“Are you okay?” he asked, already knowing you weren’t, by the way you clung to him, embracing his body with your arms and legs, and let out a shaky breath against his chest. Still, he gave you the choice to not speak about what had you up on your day off, not until you were ready.

You split from his hug, knowing you wouldn't speak if you found refuge between his strong arms. “We need to talk” you said, finding his now worried brown eyes.

Otis swallowed audibly, and a neutral expression took over his face, trying to hide the fact he was terrified. Were you going to leave him? Was your marriage over? Or did it still stand a chance? Had he messed up? Forgotten a date? Forgotten your birthday? Valentine's? Anniversary? He quickly crossed those options, your anniversary was still a month away, he already had the reservations for the weekend getaway done, and your birthday had been three months ago, he had gotten you that necklace you liked. And February was still away, so there was no chance he had forgotten Valentine’s.

“I’m sorry” he blurted out, his heart shattering at the idea of letting you down, of disappointing you “I don’t know what I did, but I will make it up to you. Please don’t leave me” he was not above begging, not when it may make the difference between you staying in his life or giving up on your marriage. Not when you were the single best thing that had ever happened to him.

Your heart melted into your chest, and tears gathered in your eyes. His forced neutral expression switched into a worried one when a tear escaped your right eye, and his thumb was quick to catch it. Whatever it was, it could not be good if you were this distraught. He had seen you in some of your worst moments, and he could count on one hand the times he had witnessed such distress in your pretty eyes.

“Babe?” he called, preparing himself to beg you to talk to him if it came down to it. You were worried, and he wanted, he needed to help you out.

“I’m pregnant” you whispered, your voice so low, Otis thought he had misheard you.

“You... what?” He exhaled, trying as hard to not let his hand find your lower abdomen, since he wasn’t sure you were happy.

Sure, the two of you had discussed starting a family, but that conversation had been held ages ago, at the early stages of your relationship. He remembered you saying you wanted to have kids, and how that was a deal breaker to you; and he remembered getting home and pestering Joe about how he had found the one.

Had you not seen his small smile, you would've freaked out. But he was smiling, and his eyes were shining with tears, so that was a good sign, right?

“I’m pregnant” you repeated, louder this time, and allowing your own hand to find your nonexistent bump.

Otis let out a high pitched scream, before hugging you tightly. His arms pulled you closer and out of the kitchen stool, picking you up and spinning you around the living area, excitement washing over him. Finally, he put you down, and his hands cradled your face, whipping away any tears.

“We’re having a baby” he whispered, happiness dripping from his words, before he started peppering your face with kisses.

“We’re having a baby” you repeated, giggling at his affection, your hands now holding his biceps.

You couldn’t understand how you could’ve been that panicked, your husband wanted desperately to be a father, but only with you. Now you let yourself feel the happiness that you had put away on a cage in your heart, and the world felt more colorful than ever.

The next morning, as you untangled from your still asleep husband, you made your way to the kitchen to get some breakfast. A new note on the fridge caught your eye, and butterflies came alive in your stomach.

Last night, Otis and you had sat down and tried to guess an estimated date in which your baby would join you, a date he had scribbled down on a piece of paper before adding “Best day ever”. Next to it, a note he must've put up while you headed towards the bedroom “Get on desk duty”.

Years ago, the idea of desk duty would’ve killed you, hating the idea of being away from the action and the adrenaline it provided, but now you were beyond happy to spend your whole day at the district.

“You two were leaving without saying goodbye?” Otis’s sleepy voice called out as he walked into the kitchen. Without saying another word, he sank to his knees and kissed your abdomen “Leaving without saying goodbye to your dad is actually kind of rude. Guess your momma and I will have to teach you some manners once you’re out of there, bub” he spoke, his hands firm on your hips.

You laughed, a hand coming to caress his hair, and he looked at you with nothing but adoration and love shining in his eyes. How could you have been so worried? You would be okay. The three of you would be okay.

[collecting-stories]

Cheat - Otis 'Brian' Zvonecek

Summary: After getting drinks with Adam, Otis gets the wrong impression.

Request: Brian accuses her of cheating on him when in reality they’re not even technically official but nevertheless he feels cheated on because he thought they were pretty damn solid regardless, He wants her all to himself but failed to make it clear.

A/N: I cannot tell you how nice it was to get back into writing something and posting on here. I know I've been trying to sporadically but it's been tricky with school and I finally felt like this week I had a little bit of time and just needed to write something.

banner by: @saradika

One Chicago Masterlist

Otis was a man on a mission. It wasn't exactly an important mission and it was, more or less, a mission of his own creating due 100% to the fact that he wasn't capable of articulating the sentence "do you want to date me" and Adam Ruzek, of all people, apparently was. The Adam Ruzek thing wasn't a definite, solid, actual thing as far as Otis could tell. It was more a spur of the moment thing if Shay was to be believed because, according to her, you had gone on a date with Adam after he had dropped by 51 with Antonio and, while there, asked you on a date. Because he could actually get the words across without fumbling them or overthinking all the ways that asking you out properly could go terribly wrong.

He knew this was technically all his fault and he knew that you weren't just going to wait around forever while he acted like you were a couple but didn't say that you were a couple. Still, when he saw you in the locker room that morning he felt like someone had driven a knife right through his back. His ears were practically ringing Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" and he really wanted to throttle Adam. You were talking to Joe, laughing at something he said about Leon, and Otis turned right back around and stormed out of the room. 

"Brian!" "Otis!" Your voice mingled with Joe as you called after Otis' retreating form, frown etched on your face. 

You shut your locker, offering Joe a quick apology before heading off after Otis. Shay had mentioned that he looked upset last night at Molly's when she "unintentionally" mentioned that you and Ruzek were out on a date. You hadn't really wanted Otis to know, or rather you were going to mention it to him yourself, this morning, in case he took it the wrong way. 

"Brian!" You followed Otis out of the locker room and into the bunk room, rushing passed him and stopping him with a hand on his chest. "Wait, wait a second."

"I have to go check the truck-" he tried to move but you moved with him, blocking the path. 

You moved your hand from his chest to his wrist, dragging him into Matt's empty office and shutting the door. "We need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say," Otis replied, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out Mattt's office window, trying to look serious and not like he was pouting. "If you wanna see other people-"

"I don't wanna see other people Brian, would you let me explain?" You said, cutting him off. "I told Shay not to tell you that I was going out-"

"Knowing or not knowing, being cheated on-"

"I didn't cheat!" You practically shouted, "For the love of god, Brian, just listen to me!"

"I am listening."

"No, you're cutting me off every second and putting words in my mouth. I didn't cheat, I can't cheat. We," you gestured between the two of you, "aren't together. Regardless of that, I wasn't on a date with Adam...I'm friends with Kim and he wanted to talk. They're still trying to work things out."

"Oh," he deflated slightly, all the anxiety and anger he'd come into 51 with disappating in a matter of seconds. 

"That's it? Just oh?" 

"Shay said you were out with Adam and I'd seen you talking to him when he was here the other day...I just. When Shay mentioned it I...I don't know. I was just seeing green. I know we aren't but I mean...we-"

"If you want us to be then just say the word Brian," you replied. "I told you before that I had feelings for you, that hasn't changed." 

You had told him months ago that you liked him. It was terrible timing because he had just started going out with Severide's sister but you had waited it out and tried to be there for him solely as a friend and co-worker. That relationship had ended months ago though and Otis hadn't made any move to indicate that he was interested in more than friendship with you. There were signs, and you were pretty sure that Otis felt the same way about you he just hadn't said anything that definitely indicated that he wanted the two of you to be anything more than friends. 

"I just throught, you went out with Adam-"

"It wasn't a date, we just grabbed drinks-"

"You could've grabbed drinks at Molly's." Otis reasoned.

You groaned, leaning back against Matt's desk, "I feel like I'm talking in circles. I didn't go to Molly's because I didn't want everyone at 51 acting like I was on a date. We went to a bar in Canaryville. I know Adam, we're just friends, he's literally dating a friend of mine." 

"We're friends."

"Are we, cause you booked it out of the locker room and accused me of cheating on you but now you're going to say that we're friends? That's it? You get to be upset with me for having drinks with a friend of mine and I tell you that I still have feelings for and I haven't even thought about going out with anyone since before you and Katie broke up and you're going to hit me with 'we're friends'." You asked, voice rising slightly. "I will make this so simple for you Brian, do you like me?"

"Of course-"

"Would you actually date me? Not just hang out on off days cause cause we're friends but be with me, an actual defined relationship where I can introduce you to people as my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, yes," Otis replied quickly, "I wasn't sure how you felt after Katie and I broke up...if you were still interested or just wanted to be friends." 

Before you could say anything to him the door to the office opened, Matt standing there looking between the two of you, partially confused and partially amused. He'd heard from Joe that Otis had run out of the locker room and you'd gone after him but he wasn't expecting to see the two of you in his office.

"I hate to interrupt but I have actual woork to do...and I feel like I remember telling you to do truck inventory," Matt said, looking over at you curiously. 

"I was just heading over there now." You slipped passed Otis and Matt, the latter taking your place at his desk so he could sit down. Otis was still standing in the office, embarrassed and somewhat stuck on the conversation that had been abruptly interrupted. 

"Otis?" Matt asked. When he didn't answer, still staring at the door, Matt called his name again, "Otis."

After another beat Otis seemed to snap into action, apologizing to Matt as he hurried out of the office and through the bunk room. You were in the hallway, headed out to do the truck inventory that Matt had asked you to do that morning, when Otis stopped you. He mirrored your actions from earlier, rushing around in front of you and forcing you to stop walking so you didn't run into im. 

"Brian-" You started to say but Otis cut you off, grabbing your upper arms gently and kissing you. It didn't last long enough for you to even really register what was happening before he pulled away, dropping his hands and taking a step back. 

"Sorry, sorry. I shouldn't just kiss you without-"

You cut him off this time, grabbing him and kissing him the same way he had done to you. He kissed you back, niether of you aware of the fact that you were standing right in front of the common room and there was an audience of people sitting there staring at the two of you kissing. Or that Joe was handing Shay a twenty.

"I told you they'd get together in the firehouse," She said, smiling as she pocketed the money.