#checked for the first time in weeks and I’m still not gaining any weight

[goldkirk]

.

[rothpie]

❝FIDELITY❞ |part7

MASTERLIST -`✮´- Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank

Summary: Kook!Reader’s world is upended by betrayal, and her only way forward might lie with the most unlikely person—JJ Maybank. But as they build a new life together, old flames and past mistakes refuse to stay buried.

Warnings: mentioning fighting, blood

Selly’s note: Once again, english isn’t my first language��🥺 I’m sorry if there’s mistakes💗

previous - next

You held your mother’s hand, trying to take deep breaths. Some days were unbearable. Scents alone could ruin your entire day. But then there were the good days, when everything felt just a bit easier, and the smells didn’t seem as overwhelming—they were perfect.

Those were the days when life felt like a rainbow stretching across your world, as if you could eat a thousand candies and never gain a pound. Pure joy, like the kind you felt as a child, when the weight of the world didn’t exist.

Luckily, today was one of those better days. The nausea was minimal—just the usual discomfort you’d gotten used to. The smells didn’t bother you much. Even when you were mildly irritated, you managed to brush it off.

Excitement hummed in your chest. Today wasn’t just any routine check-up—it was the day you’d find out the baby’s gender.

There weren’t many people you wanted with you for this moment. You didn’t even have to ask your mom; of course, she’d be there. 

She’d softened her approach lately, you could tell. Regret lingered in her initial reactions, and she was trying to be kinder now. Even though she still thought it was early days, she had been making an effort to meet you where you were.

“You okay, sweetheart?” she asked, her voice full of concern. You nodded, your hand instinctively resting on your stomach. 

“Just… feeling a little overwhelmed,” you admitted. She nodded in understanding, reaching out to clasp your hand in both of hers. Her smile was warm, genuine. “It’s going to be okay, I promise,” she reassured you. 

Her arm wrapped around your shoulders, and as she pulled you close, a calmness settled over you. She placed a kiss on your temple, and for a moment, you believed her.

Three months and a week in. By all calculations, this was the perfect time to find out the baby’s gender.

You hated the smell of the hospital. But today, you were grateful it wasn’t making you nauseous.

“Shall we begin?” Dr. Hart’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned your head quickly, your grip on your mother’s hand tightening. You nodded, signaling that you were ready.

Letting go of her hand, you raised your shirt to reveal your belly. When Dr. Hart handed you a tissue to protect your clothes, you tucked it into the waistband of your shorts without hesitation.

“Alright,” the doctor said calmly, holding up the bottle of gel. “This might feel a bit cold. Let’s take a look, shall we?”

You nodded again, and when the gel touched your skin, a shiver ran through you. The coldness was sharp, but it was soon replaced by the gentle pressure of the ultrasound wand. 

Your eyes drifted to the ceiling, trying to center yourself. Why were you so nervous? Finding out the gender made everything feel so much more real, so much more permanent. It was overwhelming, this responsibility. But it was yours to bear. New beginnings were always scary—this was no different. You would adjust. You had to.

The sound of a heartbeat filled the room, breaking through your racing thoughts. Your gaze shot from the ceiling to the monitor. 

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” Dr. Hart said with a smile, adjusting the screen to show the grainy black-and-white image.

Your hands were clammy as you stared at the monitor. You tightened your grip on your mother’s hand, trying to steady your breathing. 

It was real. The heartbeat was steady, strong, undeniable. There was a life inside you. Your baby.

The thought hit you like a wave, leaving you momentarily breathless. Tears threatened, but you didn’t have the energy to cry. You just… marveled. It was surreal. 

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as you tilted your head back. 

Your mother’s touch in your hair reminded you of her presence. When you opened your eyes, her face was full of joy, her gaze bouncing between you and the screen. Her smile widened when your eyes met, and it was contagious—you smiled back, despite yourself.

“It’s beautiful,” your mom whispered, her voice blending with the rhythmic sound of the heartbeat. Dr. Hart chuckled softly, nodding in agreement as she continued to examine the screen. “It really is.”

You couldn’t speak. You simply nodded, your focus glued to the tiny movements on the monitor. A lump formed in your throat as you swallowed hard, determined not to cry. Not from sadness this time—this was happiness.

Dr. Hart gestured at the screen, her voice warm and steady. “Everything looks great so far—healthy growth, perfect positioning. And, if you’d like, I can tell you the gender today.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, and without thinking, you nodded eagerly. “Yes,” you blurted out. The word spilled from your lips before you could stop it. You wanted to know with all your heart.

You hadn’t even had the time to think about what you wanted. You’d been so focused on the future, on survival, that you hadn’t allowed yourself to imagine this moment. But now, it was here.

“I want to know.”

You didn’t care whether it was a boy or a girl. Healthy was all that mattered. Though, deep down, you couldn’t deny the hope—one you didn’t even want to admit to yourself—that the baby wouldn’t resemble him. You didn’t want the reminder.

You glanced at your mom. Her smile was wide and reassuring, her joy as infectious as ever. You were grateful for her presence. You wished your dad could have been there too, but he was out of town. He’d wanted to come, truly, but work had kept him away.

Still, you appreciated the support they both offered in their own ways. It felt like, for once, life was on your side. You’d prayed for this, and it was happening.

Dr. Hart’s smile grew as she studied the screen. “Congratulations—it looks like you’re having a baby girl.”

Your mother’s delighted squeal filled the room. She practically jumped in place, still holding your hand, her laughter bubbling over. “I knew it! I knew it! My baby’s baby!”

It took you a moment to process her words. A shaky breath escaped your lips as tears welled in your eyes. Your mom’s kisses rained down on your hair, her joy boundless.

A baby girl. 

Your little girl.

You remembered your mom jokingly wishing you’d have a child just like you—and now, it seemed, that wish was coming true. You couldn’t stop smiling, even as the weight of the realization settled over you. 

Could you handle being a mom? You’d spent so much time worrying about that, you’d never let yourself imagine this moment. But now, all you could see were the possibilities—her eyes, her laugh, the moments you’d share together. It felt so real. So close.

Your mom met your gaze, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She nodded at you, her expression full of pride and love. Her hands cradled your face as she whispered, “She’ll be as strong as you.” 

The kiss she pressed to your forehead was soft, and you breathed deeply, letting yourself feel the comfort of that moment. 

For the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself relax. You silently thanked the heavens for this moment, for this peace that felt untouchable. Maybe all you needed was to hear your baby’s heartbeat, to know she was thriving. 

The steady rhythm of her heart in the background seemed to remind you: no matter how scared you were, you weren’t alone in this.

“She’s very healthy,” Dr. Hart said with a smile, handing you a cloth to clean off the gel. You quickly wiped your stomach, your heart full to bursting.

Your hands trembled as the reality sank in. It was almost too much to believe—like you might wake up and find it was all a dream. But you didn’t want to wake up. You didn’t want to lose this happiness.

With your mom’s hand on your back, you left the hospital, your heart lighter than it had been in months. There was a long road ahead, but for now, you let yourself feel the joy. You climbed into the car, the journey ahead—boats and drives—barely crossing your mind. All you knew was that you’d take every step with a heart full of hope.

You had decided the mainland would be a safer option than the island for a hospital visit like this. It was still the right choice for you. Even if the journey was a bit complicated, it felt secure, and you actually enjoyed it. 

This way, everything would be better. 

When your mother started the car, you fastened your seatbelt. As your eyes roamed the surroundings, you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful the area was. The idea of building a new life here wasn’t far-fetched; it was starting to feel right. 

You couldn't stop imagining all the moments you’d share with your little girl here. A smile crept across your lips as you glanced at a park you were passing. You watched mothers interacting with their children, and the thought of being one of them someday filled you with peace. Knowing that one day you’d be the one playing there with your daughter—it was priceless. 

The car slowed down, and your mother gestured ahead. “What do you think about something with a little garden?” she asked, pointing to a row of cottages along the road. “She could run around, and maybe someday we’d even set up a swing.” Her voice was cheerful; she was enjoying the thought as much as you were. You couldn’t help but giggle as your eyes wandered over the homes. 

“They look cute,” you said, examining them while your mother nodded quickly, as though she already had the whole thing planned out. 

“Don’t they?” she said with enthusiasm. You nodded, starting to believe this really was the perfect place to build a future. 

“And it’s a great school district. I’m sure you’ll be comfortable here. There’s even a park nearby,” she added. Her excitement made you laugh uncontrollably. 

“Mom, she’s not even born yet,” you reminded her with a chuckle, feeling like she might start saving for college any moment now. 

Your mom rolled her eyes, laughing as you instinctively placed a hand on your belly. 

“I’m just saying, sweetheart—there’s no harm in planning ahead,” she said warmly. 

You kept smiling as you took in the sight of the houses. It was comforting, thinking about your unborn child’s future. Dreaming about her, imagining what life here could be like. The idea of leaving all your bad memories behind felt so good. 

Starting fresh in a place where your daughter could grow up far away from the island—away from everyone there—felt right. You liked the thought of not needing to look perfect or hold everything together for others. 

There was something about this place. The energy here felt brighter, livelier than the island. The trees seemed greener, the streets cleaner, the homes more charming, the people kinder. 

When you reached the marina, you watched your mom park the car. Stepping out, you took a deep breath of the fresh air that hit your face. 

You just knew you loved it here. You realized you wanted to stay a little longer, to explore the area, imagining the memories you could create with your daughter. You wanted to dream about those moments, even though they hadn’t happened yet. 

You were so excited that you found yourself questioning if it was all real. 

As your mom walked toward the dock, you turned around for one last look at the place. No. This wouldn’t be the last time you came here. You felt like you had a lifetime to spend in this place. It seemed better in every way. 

It felt like a place where you wouldn’t hesitate to step outside. Even now, the thought of returning to the island brought a heaviness to your chest, as though you were stepping into a dark tunnel. But here, every moment felt bright. 

The idea of a home sounded nice—quiet, steady, hers. 

Settling beside your mom, you took in the salty sea air. Neither of you spoke much. Instead, you both savored the evening sun and the soothing sound of the waves. 

It had been an unusually tiring day. You hadn’t done much, but your whole body ached. The warmth of the sun paired with the cool breeze created the perfect balance, lulling you into a drowsy state. 

You didn’t even notice when your eyes drifted shut. But the slight pressure on your arm woke you, making you realize you’d arrived back at the island. 

You stretched out your arms and unlinked them. “You can sleep at home, sweetheart. Come on,” your mom said softly. Rubbing your eyes and straightening your clothes, you followed her. Your steps were sluggish as you trailed behind her. You just wanted to get home and sleep until you couldn’t anymore. 

If you could, you’d ask them to leave you alone for 24 hours so you could sleep. 

As you got back into the car with your mom, you let out a sigh. Normally, you enjoyed road trips, but this time, it felt unbearable. You just wanted to be in your bed—where you belonged. You deserved some rest. After all, you were a pregnant woman. 

“Do you think I should move?” 

You didn’t know where the question came from. You were just full of doubts. 

Your mom took her eyes off the road for a second to glance at you, her eyebrows raised. “Well,” she said, taking a deep breath as she focused back on driving. Reaching over, she took your hand. “If it’ll make you feel better.” 

Looking at your hand in hers, you took a deep breath. The sky had grown darker. You leaned your head against the window, fear stirring in your chest. You wanted so badly to move, but there was a part of you that was scared. “What if I don’t feel good there?” 

Your mom gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, her voice steady and warm. “Then you come back. We’ll figure it out. We’ll keep trying until we find where you feel right.” 

You lifted your head from the window to look at her, meeting her gaze. There was a tender smile on her face. 

“Don’t think for a second that our doors will ever be closed to you. Never. If you decide it’s not the right place—even if it’s your first day—you’ve got a home to come back to. Always.” 

Warmth flooded your chest. Hearing her say that was invaluable. You knew they wouldn’t turn you away, but still, it felt good to hear. You wanted this new place so badly. But what if it didn’t turn out to be what you’d imagined? 

“I’m scared,” you whispered. 

“There’s no need to be. You’ve got this. And you’ve got me,” she said, her voice filled with quiet determination, as if willing you to believe in yourself. 

“We’ll do this whenever you’re ready. There’s no rush.” You nodded, unable to summon the strength to say more. 

The car ride was quiet at first. You stared out the window, watching the scenery blur by—cypress trees swaying in the wind, the ocean sparkling in the distance. 

The silence in the car wasn’t unsettling. There was a familiar comfort in her mother’s presence. The steady hum of the engine and the slight vibration of the wheels grounded her as her thoughts wandered. 

Your eyes drifted to the trees along the roadside, their trunks illuminated in the soft orange glow of the setting sun. It felt as though they were whispering to you. 

Your hand instinctively went to your belly. There was a life there—tiny, but growing each day. The thought warmed her, but it also terrified you.

Your mother broke the silence with a gentle tone. “You know,” she began, “do you want to know what I felt when I found out I was pregnant with you?” 

The question caught you off guard. Your mother rarely shared memories like this, but her voice invited her in. “Were you scared?” you asked softly. 

Her mother smiled faintly, nodding. “Oh, terrified. I was a mess. But at the same time, there was this… hope. Like everything in my life suddenly had meaning. And that hope—it makes you strong.” 

Your chest tightened. You turned your gaze back to the window, swallowing hard. “What if I make mistakes?” you whispered, voice barely audible. 

Your mom smiled, her voice rich with love. “You will make mistakes. We all do. But that little one? She’ll love you through them. Because you’re her mom.” 

Tears pricked your eyes, though they didn’t fall. Her throat felt tight. The words your mom said so easily now felt like the most precious truths in the world. 

“Still…” you said. “Should I stay here? On the island? Or somewhere else?” The question tumbled out again, as if you couldn’t stop yourself. You felt like no matter how many times she heard the answer, you’d always feel uncertain. 

Your mom paused for a moment before responding with a thoughtful expression. “If being here makes you happy, stay. If you’re somewhere else and happy, stay there. But remember this—home isn’t about the house. You build a home with love, with patience. That little one just needs you to be there.” 

Your eyes filled with tears you wouldn’t shed. Somehow, your mom’s words made everything feel possible and terrifying all at once. You nodded quietly, letting the weight of your mother’s wisdom settle into your heart. 

With those words, a bit of the tightness within you seems to ease. You glance down at the hand resting on your stomach, and in that moment, your mother’s words give you a small surge of strength.

You hated the suffocating sense of dread that settled over you the moment you stepped onto this stupid island. It felt like the shadows themselves were closing in on you, draining you of air. Like you were already drowning.

As the car entered the narrow roads, the headlights bounced off cracked concrete walls and the weathered faces of old buildings. Your mom gripped the steering wheel tightly, swerving carefully to avoid potholes. The world outside was unnervingly quiet, as if everyone had retreated into their homes, leaving the streets deserted for just the two of you. The faint hum of the radio played in the background, but the silence in the car was far deeper.

You stared out the window, though your thoughts were miles away from the neighborhood outside. Your eyes darted around, catching fleeting glimpses of the world beyond the glass—until something stirred in your peripheral vision.

Something didn’t sit right. Instinctively, you felt it. As if—something was off. “Mom, slow down,” you said, your voice startled but firm.

“I’m not going that fast, sweetheart.” No, it wasn’t about speed. Something was wrong. If you didn’t look back, you thought you might pass out.

“Mom, stop the car.” Your tone was laced with urgency now.

“What is it?” she asked, glancing at you but not slowing down.

“Just stop the car!” you snapped, sharper this time, your eyes still glued to the figure outside. “Please.” At last, your mom hit the brakes.

Your gaze didn’t waver. You recognized that face—though it was barely visible under the dim light. Even if blood and shadows obscured it, you knew. That stupid hair. Those dumb clothes. That ridiculous boot.

“What’s going on?” your mom asked, but you were already opening your door.

“I think I know him.”

You didn’t just think it. Deep down, you were certain. You couldn’t make out his face clearly, but even his posture screamed it was him.

You moved quickly, rounding the back of the car as you heard the distant creak of your mom’s door opening. She called your name, but you didn’t turn around.

Maybe you didn’t catch his attention at first, but something must’ve tipped him off. His head lifted. Your eyes met. And deep down, you already knew.

You’d recognize that stupid mop of hair from a mile away.

JJ was slumped against a wall, looking seconds away from collapsing entirely. One shoulder drooped awkwardly, and his clothes were soaked in blood. When his blue eyes finally noticed you, they weren’t like you remembered. They were dull. Tired.

Your steps quickened, a tight knot of anxiety building in your chest. The first time you’d met him, he’d nearly looked like this too. But not this bad. And now, things were different. You were—friends, kind of.

“JJ.” His name left your lips as you reached him. He smiled faintly, head sagging as you caught him. “What happened?” Panic seeped into your voice.

He looked awful.

His brow was split open, clothes torn to shreds. Bruises—dark and ugly—lined his neck. It was terrifying.

“You should see the other—” he mumbled before his knees buckled. You held him tighter, feeling your mom approach from behind. You shot her a pleading look.

“Mom, we need to get him to a hospital.”

Before she could reply, JJ groaned, attempting to wriggle free. He stumbled. He couldn’t even stand straight, yet he was fighting like a fool.

“I’m fine! I’m fine.”

Was he serious? He could barely walk. His clothes were drenched in blood, bruises painted across his face, and he thought he was fine?

Was he trying to insult your intelligence?

“You’re clearly not. Mom, help me. We’re taking him to the hospital.” But when you tried to steady him again, he jerked back, collapsing onto the pavement. He sprawled there, motionless, eyes shut.

“No. Absolutely not. I said I’m fine.” His voice was barely audible, slurred. Fine? He was out of his mind.

Your mom called your name, snapping you out of it. Her expression was a mix of confusion and worry. “Who is this? A friend of yours?” she asked, still processing the scene.

“Yes,” you answered curtly, sparing no details. Stepping closer to JJ, you hesitated, noticing blood trickling down his shirt. The sight made your stomach churn. You weren’t going to stand there and watch him bleed out in the middle of the street.

Behind you, your mom spoke again. “What happened to him? Is he hurt? We can’t leave him like this.”

JJ shook his head weakly, mumbling to himself, “No… just leave me. I’m fine.” His voice was so faint it was barely there. None of it made sense.

“There’s no fine here!” you snapped, your voice harsher now. Even your mom seemed startled. But this wasn’t just for him—it was for her too. “I’m not leaving him.”

Your mom hesitated, then nodded slowly. She didn’t know JJ, but she didn’t need to recognize him to figure out he was a Pogue. “Okay,” she said, her resolve breaking. “Let’s get him to the car. We can’t leave him like this.”

JJ tried protesting one last time, his half-lidded gaze barely focusing on you. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared of him passing out—or worse. He looked wrecked. “Fine. But no hospitals. Just...no.”

You exhaled sharply. He wasn’t going to move unless you agreed. Finally, you closed your eyes, exasperated. He was killing you with this stubbornness. He needed help, and yet he was making demands. “Shit— okay.”

This time, he didn’t fight. Carefully, you draped his arm over your shoulder, your mom supporting his other side. His weight dragged both of you down, but you didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was getting him somewhere safe.

Once you got him into the car, you let out a shaky breath. You tried not to see it as some sort of personal moment. He’d helped you before, after all. The car was quiet, save for the hum of the engine and JJ’s shallow breaths. You glanced at him, his head resting against the window, eyes half-closed. You silently prayed he wouldn’t pass out.

“You didn’t have to pick me up,” he murmured, his voice barely a whisper. At least he was talking. That was something. You turned to him, your expression softening. “And you didn’t have to act invincible.”

Your mom hadn’t fully grasped the situation yet but started driving toward home. You, meanwhile, kept stealing glances at JJ in the rearview mirror.

-

To say you were worried would be an understatement—you were terrified.

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him like this. Months ago, when you’d first met, he’d been almost as bad. But back then, you didn’t know each other. You were practically strangers.

Now? Things were different. Seeing him like this shook you. It made you realize something. 

You considered him a friend.

He wasn’t just the guy who’d show up with supplies when you needed something. Somewhere along the way, you’d started to see him as someone close enough to share pieces of your life with.

Hell, he was one of the four people on this godforsaken island who knew you were pregnant.

You trusted him.

Seeing someone you know like this—bruised, battered, and barely holding on—how terrifying is that? 

For a moment, you genuinely thought he might have a brain hemorrhage. You’d tended to him, watched him slip into unconsciousness, and feared he wouldn’t wake up. He looked utterly wrecked.

You didn’t know what had happened. You hated the not knowing, especially because he never asked about you. All he’d ever inquired about was the baby—and even then, he’d respected your boundaries, letting you share only what you wanted. He hadn’t even asked if it was Rafe’s. He could’ve, but he didn’t.

But you couldn’t help your own curiosity. What had led him to this state? You wanted to know. And more than anything, you wanted it never to happen again. He was your… friend. At least, you thought so. He’d helped you as much as you’d helped him. 

The hospital was off the table—he made that crystal clear. So, you didn’t take him. But seeing him like this? It shook you. 

First, you gently cleaned the blood off his face and arm with a damp cloth. Then you patched up the gash above his brow. When you pulled his torn shirt off, your breath caught. His body was a patchwork of dark bruises, covering nearly every inch. You didn’t want to look too long—it felt intrusive, wrong even. 

It wasn’t like last week when he shamelessly changed his shirt in front of you. This was different. He was vulnerable, beaten, and unconscious. 

When his eyes fluttered open, you were leaning against the bathroom tiles, watching. His gaze was hazy, like he was trying to piece together where he was. Finally, his eyes locked onto you. They scanned you briefly, taking in the damp cloth in your hand, the bucket behind you, and the open first-aid kit on the floor. 

“You didn’t have to drag me here,” he muttered, his voice scratchy and low.

Still talking like an idiot. 

You avoided his eyes, focusing instead on the stubborn bloodstain on his forehead. “Right, because leaving you to bleed out on the street was the better option.”

He tried to smirk—of course, he did—but winced instead when you pressed the cloth a little too hard against his brow. You pulled back quickly, a flash of guilt crossing your face, but you didn’t apologize. 

“Do you always get yourself into this kind of trouble?” The question wasn’t even genuine. It was more of an observation. Every time you saw him, he was banged up. It was ridiculous. No one got into this many fights by accident. 

What if it hadn’t been you who found him? What if he’d collapsed? Hit his head? Then what? 

How could anyone be so damn reckless?

“All the time,” he said, his tone laced with smugness. It made you grit your teeth. Was he trying to kill himself, or was he just this dense?

You tended to his wounds in silence, simmering with a frustration you couldn’t quite place. Was it because you considered this idiot a friend? Or because this idiot had come dangerously close to getting himself killed tonight? 

When you were done, you began gathering up the dirty gauze and supplies. He shifted, trying to sit up. 

“If Nurse shift is over, I’ll be on my way now,” he said, gripping the edge of the tub for support. The first-aid kit slipped from your hands as you turned, catching him just before he fell over. 

“Yeah, about that—you’re not going anywhere.” 

His brows knitted together in defiance, but you shoved him back gently until he was sitting on the toilet. You needed him to stay put while you cleaned up. Like a dog told to sit and stay.

“You don’t get to decide that,” he snapped.

You threw the last piece of gauze into the trash, pointing a sharp finger at him. “Well, it looks like you can’t decide either. You can’t even walk straight. Stop being an idiot.”

He huffed and fell silent, though his scowl remained firmly in place. He might hate being told what to do, but you weren’t about to let him stumble back onto the street like this. You were better than that.

When you finished cleaning up, you walked over and tried to help him to his feet. Of course, he made it as difficult as possible, practically deadweight in your arms, until he finally relented and started cooperating. 

You led him to the guest room and helped him onto the bed. He smirked, gesturing to the large, king-sized mattress. “Nice digs. Didn’t know I rated five stars.”

You rolled your eyes, too tired to engage. He was infuriating sometimes, but there was no way you were kicking him out. Not in this state. He needed time to recover. 

“Don’t even think about sneaking out,” you warned, watching him settle into the bed. He didn’t respond, just stared at the ceiling, a blank expression on his face. 

You waited for a sarcastic comeback, but none came. As you reached the door, you hesitated, glancing back at him. 

You hated yourself for it—for caring so damn much.

“Who did this?” 

When JJ finally opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, you heard him exhale deeply. If this was a Kook thing, you knew you could handle it. Hell, you’d even get your lawyer uncle involved if it came to that.

“It doesn’t matter.” His dismissive tone made you take a step closer, stopping about a meter from the bed with your arms crossed. All he had to do was say the word—accept a little help for once in his life. But of course, that wasn’t his style. JJ had to deal with things on his own. Always. 

“I can help—”

“You can’t help me!” He cut you off, raising his voice as he started to sit up. For a brief moment, you seriously considered shoving him back down into the mattress. Sometimes you hated him so much—

“Stuff like this happens to Pogues. It’s just how it is. You’re a Kook, so sit back and observe like you’re supposed to. Stop asking questions.” 

His words, paired with the attitude he wore like armor, had you rolling your eyes as you let out a bitter laugh. You paced the room, trying to shake off the frustration boiling under your skin.

“Always with this Kook-Pogue bullshit! Since when is helping someone in need such a crime? Was I supposed to leave you to die in the street?” 

JJ laughed then, sharp and manic, nodding as if you’d said the most logical thing in the world. “Yes! That’s exactly what you should’ve done! God, you’re so annoying. I can’t deal with you right now.”

And this is someone you called a friend. 

That motherfucker.

There wasn’t even a reason for him to be mad at you. You weren’t the one who’d beaten him up. You weren’t the one who put him in this position. You were just trying to help. But this was what happened when you cared for someone who didn’t deserve it. 

You stared at him, shaking your head. The disappointment you felt wasn’t just in him—it was in yourself. You’d gone so far as to consider this idiot your friend. It made you sick. 

“Don’t worry. You won’t have to see my annoying face anymore. I’m moving to the mainland, jerk.” Turning on your heel, you walked toward the door, ready to be done with this.

JJ could be… JJ. Sometimes that meant he lashed out at the wrong people, taking his anger out on those who didn’t deserve it. He hated showing weakness, hated sharing his struggles. Even though he knew you were only trying to help, he didn’t want you to see him like this. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be seen.

Hearing your name fall from his lips stopped you in your tracks. You turned back to face him, your expression unreadable. The anger that had burned in his eyes moments ago had vanished. He just looked…tired.

“I’m not running away.” His eyes met yours, and the ridiculousness of his statement was almost laughable. He should’ve been apologizing, but of course, he couldn’t even manage that.

“My dad. I’m mad at my dad, not you. I’m sorry. You’re not annoying—well, you are, but not in a way I can’t handle. And… thanks.” 

The words spilled out of him so fast that all you could do was nod in response. His constant mood swings—he had to be bipolar or something.

You thought about leaving the room. You hated him, you really did, but at the same time, you understood him. And you hated yourself even more for that. It made you want to throttle him.

You stepped closer to the bed, his eyes never leaving you. “If you ever yell at me like that again, I will bury you right here.” Your tone was sharp, dripping with warning. 

A faint smirk tugged at JJ’s lips as he nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Stay awake for a while.” He nodded again, but his brows furrowed as he looked around the room.

“How? Is this some kind of anti-tech isolation chamber or something? There’s nothing here to keep me awake—besides you.”

You rolled your eyes, not in the mood to humor him. “Not a chance.”

JJ sighed dramatically, tossing his head back. You knew if you left, he’d fall asleep immediately. And there you stood by the door, arms crossed, debating what to do. His reckless attitude tested your patience more than you liked to admit. You didn’t even know why you were still here. You didn’t want to stay, but leaving him like this felt… wrong.

After the way he’d acted, he deserved every bit of the mess he was in. Honestly, he should’ve been thanking you for not shoving his smug attitude down his throat.

JJ let out a heavy sigh, still staring at the ceiling. “If you’re not leaving, at least hand me that bottle.” He nodded toward the water bottle on the nightstand.

You narrowed your eyes at him, not moving. “Who said I wasn’t leaving?” 

Your own bluntness surprised you, but JJ’s smirk only made you angrier. “Of course,” he said lightly, like it was nothing worth debating.

You couldn’t see yourself staying much longer. Not without wanting to strangle him. But as you turned, JJ cleared his throat.

“The mainland, huh? For the baby?” 

You wanted to yell at him, to throw his earlier anger right back in his face, but you were too tired. You just wanted this night to end. You’d already dealt with enough of his drama. 

“Yes. And by the way, it’s a girl.”

JJ turned to look at you, his eyebrows shooting up as a slow grin spread across his face. “Thank God. Nobody could survive a second Rafe Cameron.”

Normally, that comment would’ve pissed you off, but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. He wasn’t wrong. One Rafe was bad enough—no one needed a second.

“If you need anything there, let me know,” he said. 

You nodded, knowing he meant it. 

The two of you sat in silence for a while. You realized then how hard it would be for him to stay awake with nothing to do in this empty room. If it were you, you’d have fallen asleep immediately. 

“So… wanna play games on my phone?”

[sad-not-glad]

I Know Something You Don’t

Bucky x pregnant! Reader

Warnings: nothing but pure fluff ahead

Word count: 1077

A/N: another repost from my old account. This was my favorite :’)

Part two: Here!

Bucky had noticed several things changing about you lately.

The first thing started nearly two weeks ago. You were going to bed earlier everyday and waking up even later than that. It was very unusual for you, and it worried him. Although it wasn’t quite tot he point of talking to you about it he still made sure to keep a close eye on you as you went about your daily buisness per usual, seeking out anything else that could be wrong.

The second thing began about five days ago. You felt really sick and could never keep your food down. At least that’s what he though, until he saw you squirreling some of his favorite beef jerky away at 3 in the morning. He didn’t mention the fact that you hated jerkey or the odd time, just helped you back into bed where you belonged, wrapped in his arms. While you fell back to sleep his mind kept him awake, staring at the wall over your shoulder as he ran every possible scenario through his head. What could be wrong with you?

The third thing he noticed was only this morning. Well, it was two things actually. To start, your cute face was just a little puffy. He adored you either way but he knew how active you were and it didn’t make sense to him that you would be gaining weight like that, until you stepped out of the shower. Without the hum of the bathroom fan the room was strikingly quiet. With his enhanced hearing he could focus on certain sounds, someone in the next room, a spider in the corner, a heartbeat. And very clearly right beneath your own was a small quick flutter of a new heartbeat. His breath caught in his throat as the pieces slowly clicked themselves together in his head.

Fatigue

Odd food craving

Sickness

Bloating

Pregnancy?

He watched dumbfounded as you went about your morning routine, changing into clothes and brushing out your wet hair. Bucky couldn’t move from the bed, he felt like he was frozen in place. Before he was composed enough to question what was happening you had kissed his cheek and left the bedroom you shared.

After training with Natasha you joined whoever was present at the tower for breakfast on the communal floor. You’re preparing to sit next to Bucky when he takes your waist, gently guiding you to his lap instead, and it takes you by surprise. Bucky was never big on PDA, he had multiple reasons and you respected them. So for him to be so affectionate in front of the team, it was shocking to say the least.

He wouldn’t let you feed yourself, keeping one hand trapped in his while he raised the food to your mouth bite by bite. You both kept getting weird glances from your friends. After breakfast he followed you around like a kicked puppy, showering your exposed skin with soft kisses and clinging to you any chance he got. It was cute to start but now it was starting to worry you. Bucky made you stop walking down the hall so he could squeeze you to his chest, placing a breathtaking kiss to your lips. When he pulls back you blink, trying to remember what you wanted to say. He smiles down to you, petting the hair away from your face softly.

“Bucky, what’s wrong with you today?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been… different. Needy.”

He stares down at you before his face slowly rises in heat as a dark blush stains his cheeks.

“No, I haven’t.”

You raise an accusing eyebrow as he shuffles nervously on his feet while checking the hallway for other people.

“Seriously, Bucky, what-“

“You’re pregnant.”

That wasn’t what you were expecting in the slightest. Your jaw softly falls open as you gape at him in shock, because how could he possibly know that?

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Yes, you are. I can-“

He takes a deep breath, hands coming down to gently pet across your stomach.

“I can hear them, (Y/N). Its so small but it’s there, I can hear another heartbeat.”

Your eyes shoot down to where his hand rests as you slowly start to really consider what he was saying. You were feeling more tired lately, and eating things you hate, and your period was late, but that was all normal, right? It’s just my hormones wasn’t a good excuse anymore, clearly. Finally you look back up at Bucky who’s almost vibrating with nervous energy.

“I have to take a test.”

“A test?”

“A pregnancy test, Buck. I need to go buy some.”

He nods, hauling you up into his arms as you shriek in surprise.

“Bucky!”

“What? I’m taking you.”

“I can walk just fine-“

“But my baby can’t walk yet!”

You stare down at him in astonishment as he makes his way quickly to your room so you can get your shoes, wallet, and keys.

This was easily the longest two minutes of your entire life, waiting for the little digital screen to display the words that were about to change your entire life. The loading bar disappeared for a second before the word ‘PREGNANT’ flashed across the screen. You choked back a strangled sob as Bucky stepped closer from his spot near the door.

“Is it…?”

You turn, hands shaking as you look over to him.

“I’m pregnant.”

There’s a beat of silence and you can’t stop your smile from splitting your face. Bucky grins back at you, pulling you forward against his chest as you both rocked gently from side to side.

“We’re gonna have a baby!”

He pulled back just a fraction to smother you with kisses. You screamed with laughter as his stubble tickled your cheek, trying in vain to push him away. When he finally looks up at you it takes your breath away, the pure love and adoration in his gaze. All for you. Before you can think to stop yourself you grab his face, pressing your lips together in a sweet kiss as the tears begin to break free.

“Oh honey, I’m so happy.”

Softly you brush the tears from his cheeks as you ignore your own. He chuckles, leaning his head into your hand as you stare at each other in silence. This was the start of their new life together, and neither could wait for the new addition to their little family of misfits.

[hydrangeapartridge]

Overindulging (EmmRook short fic)

Summary: Emmrich gets upset because he put on a little weight. Rook is here to reassure him.

The first part is mostly sfw, I signaled the moment we switch to a more heated (E-rated) exchange, please mind it.

Part of my EmmRook post game (so may contain spoilers) short-fics found here on AO3 (or on my blog with the Emmrich x Rook tag).

Rook was absentmindedly getting dressed when a very highpitched, scandalized noise startled her. It wasn’t coming from veyr far away, and she only needed to turn around to find Emmrich staring intently at his midsection, his fingers frozen over the buttons of the waistcoat he was fastening. It was his favourite one, the green one with the golden buttons.

« Darling » He called out to her, distress clear in his voice. He looked up to meet her eyes, sadness mixed with frustration in his warm brown gaze. « It doesn’t fit anymore » He stated, and indeed, Rook could see the first two buttons were fastened but the effort of it was dangerously straining the fabric. As for the last one, it would be impossible to fasten without tearing the lovely piece of clothing and ruining it.

« Well I suppose you’ll have to wear another one » Rook offered with an apologetic smile. She was ever the optimistic one of the two.

Emmrich sighed in defeat, undoing the hardly fastened buttons in a smooth gesture. However right it was, his lover’s proposition, and the implications behind his failure at getting dressed didn’t sit well with the watcher.

« I knew I had gained a little weight, there are always ups and downs in a year. But I’ve owned this waistcoat for decades and it always fit » He complained, pained and irritated. « Now I’ll have to get my entire wardrobe mended and ajusted... »

Rook stepped closer to her lover and placed a tender hand on his elbow to try and pull him out of the spiral of negativity he was losing himself into.

His slight increase in waist circumference wasn’t a surprise, for they had probably overindulged in the last months when it came to food. Emmrich took a sabbatical so they could undertake a journey around Thedas to reconnect with their former companions of the Veilguard, and check on the reconstruction of the cities destroyed by the Blight.

Those long weeks turned months had been a wonderful succession of heartwarming reunions, all of which of course around generous amounts of food and drinks. Rook and Emmrich had been delighted to discuss with their friends while sharing large meals made of the most delicious dishes, whether grilled, or fried, or covered in rich sauces, as well as around tea-times assorted with the softest buttery and flaky pastry. And not to forget the syrupy wines and bittersweet cocktail. Emmrich wasn’t known for his gluttony, but he still really enjoyed a good meal, as well as the cultural enlightment of discovering local dishes. On the way home, he kept reminiscing the taste of the famous llomerryn red sauce from Rivain or the Gnocchi from Antiva.

Pair that with a hectic schedule preventing them from exercising as they usually did, and you got a few more pounds.

It was nothing too serious. Rook herself had gained a little chub around the thighs and waist, but she understood Emmrich’s concerns. He liked to look clean and sharp, and had a strong taste for elegant fashion. All his clothes were also tailor-made and cost a pretty penny, which was an investment he made for the long run. He took very good care of his belongings and she could see why it would upset him to be forced to have them remade.

Rook gently squeezed Emmrich’s elbow. “I’m sure there is no need to come to that yet. A little more exercise and lighter meals should do the trick. You’ll be back in shape in no time”

She tried to reassure him, but Emmrich wasn’t having any of it. He placed a hand over his stomach and squeezed the fat there though the fabric of his expensive white shirt, then clicked his tongue. “I fear it won’t be that simple. Each year staying fit becomes more and more challenging. I’m getting limp and my skin will only keep sagging until I all wrinkled and flaccid. I’ll gradually wilt before your very eyes darling, this is only the start”

Oh.

So that’s what this was about.

Emmrich had partially made peace with his mortality when he brought back Manfred, and he had accepted that Rook loved him and wanted to be with him on the long run despite their difference in age. However his fears and insecurities resurfaced from time to time.

Rook’s heart sank in her chest and she pressed herself against her lover, circling her amrs around his waist, hoping her presence would comfort him better than words would. From experience, she kew that when he was in this state, there was no reasoning with him; no appealing to his usual logic. The last thing she wanted was to get into a fight because of such a trivial problem. Well, trivial to her. They already did fight several times because she brushed off his heartfelt concerns too casually and now she knew better than to lose her temper over this.

Emmrich grew silent, and soon, he hugged Rook back, the palms of his hands pressing against her back.

They stayed in this embrace for a while, Rook listening to his heart while he breathed in the familiar smell of her hair.

“You know I’ll always love you” Rook promised against his chest, and she heard his resulting deep, shaky exhale close to her ear.

“I know darling” He sighed. “It is not my intention to question that… but sometimes it feels surreal” he kissed her temple before he continued. “And sometimes I cannot help but regret that we didn’t meet sooner, or that I wasn’t born later”

Rook looked up to meet his misty gaze, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I understand that sentiment. But I believe things were meant to be this way. I am glad we even got to meet each other. And survived to enjoy the rest”

“Of course, you are absolutely right dearest. I wouldn’t have it any other way” Emmrich caressed her cheek, craddling it in his warm palm. “But the human heart can be weak, and mine is particularly prone to that kind of longing”

Rook nuzzled into his touch “That’s part of why I love you” She stood on her tiptoes, and whispered against his lips “I never hoped to meet such a romantic soul”

She kissed him then, soft and gentle, and he reverently kissed back, both of his hands holding her face like a precious treasure he feared would escape him.

When they pulled back, Rook let the hand that was pressed to his chest travel to his navel. She eyed his reaction carefully, assessing his consent, checking that her touch on the part of him he criticized was still welcomed.

Emmrich didn’t protest, but the attention made him shy, still a bit self conscious, and he distracted himself by replacing a stray lock of hair behind Rook’s ear.

“You are still the most dashing necromancer around you know” Rook said, her usual bright tone returning to her. “And you won’t be alone in your effort. I’ll help. I have a few pounds to lose too”

Emmrich let out an incredulous huff. “Darling there is no need for you to do that. You are simply perfect. Marvelously beautiful as always”

Rook raised an accusing eyebrow and gave him a chastising look which silenced him immediately. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Rook splayed her fingers moree firmly over Emmrich’s lower stomach. “You know, I’m thinking of a pleasant way of exercising…” She whispered wickedly as her hand traveled lower. “I’m sure it burns a lot of fat”

She pressed her palm against Emmrich’s crotch and he let out a small breathy moan.

“Darling, we were just getting dressed” He protested, but only for the principle of it, his voice lacking any resolve.

Rook hummed “But since you were dissatisfied with your clothes, I think it’s better if you don’t wear them at all”

And so Emmrich was quickly convinced to indulge in a different kind of pleasure.

E-RATING STARTING HERE

After a few heated kisses, and unbutonning his shirt, Rook swiftly fell to her knees in front of Emmrich. Without hesitation, she untucked his crisp shirt from his flannel pants first. Her hand deliberatelly brushed his clothed growing erection before she set on undoing the buttons of his trousers.

“Darling” Emmrich tried to grab her attention and she hummed in response but didn’t stop. “As much as I enjoy the view and the promise of your attention, I fail to see how this counts as exercising on my part”

Rook gave his still clothed erection a gentle kiss through the fabric of his underwear. “Consider it a warm up” She hummed “And a way to show you how much I adore every part of you”

Emmrich let out a languid sigh. His fingers moved to brush against her cheek, and played with the hair there while she pulled his pants and underwear enough to find the most sensitive part of him. “Whatever pleases you my dear” He breathed in that lower voice that was reserved just for her; just for these moments shared between them in intimacy. He always ended up indulging her.

Rook took him in one hand, and splayed the fingers of the other over Emmrich’s stomach. She started stroking him to full hardness, while reverantly exploring the dip of his waist, and the more recent softeness of his belly, where a trail of dark hair led to his growing desire. She loved to touch him. Emmrich was a generous lover and was always the one to insist on how gorgeous she was and to focus on making sure of her pleasure. She desperately wanted to reciprocate the favour. Besides, she knew from experience that for all his composure and restreint, a teasing from the mouth should rile him up enough that he would then be most enclined to bend her over any avalaible surface and take her most ardently.

Emmrich’s self consciousness over his stomach became the last of his concerns when she stopped stroking him and started leaving opened mouth kisses on the length of him. He gasped and moaned when she proceeded to take him between her sinful lips, caressing the part that she couldn’t fit in yet between a few fingers.

Rook moaned around him when she felt his hand carefully grab the back of her head, holding ontop her hair without pressure to ground himself and help guide her. She increased the pace of her ministrations as Emmrich’s voice joined the lewd wet noises she was making. True to himself, he kept praising her, complimenting her skills, singing praises of her beauty as she worshipped him with her mouth.

This was incredibly pleasant, but not quite what she had in mind. She pulled away to catch her breath, lazily stroking him instead, the glide made easy from her saliva and his excitement. Her other hand cupped his balls, her heel pressing into his perineum until he was left breathless and flustered. She then moved to squeeze his naked bottom, a part of him that she enjoyed very much indeed. The number of times she was distracted by that ass back in the lighthouse she couldn’t count on the fingers of two hands.

Now that she had rendered Emmrich silent but for ragged whimpers, it was her turn to talk.

“My heart, you focus on the front of your body because that is the first thing you see. But know that the sight of your backside would make anyone both jealous and enticed” She murmured before giving his tip a quick suck, earning a strangled “Darling” from him.

She squeezed his bottom again for good mesure, giving it a small swat as if to make her point “I have seen the way people look at it. Makes me want to burn their eyes in their sockets”

“Darling,I’m sure that’s no-” Emmrich tried to say between heavy pants but interrupted himself, completely losing his train of thoughts when Rook took him into her mouth again, as deep as possible.

Rook smiled around him, prood that she rendered him silent. She used her now both free hands to grab at his backside firmly, using her hold as leverage to try and take him even deeper with each bob of her head.

Emmrich’s hand tightened in her hair, and she moaned delightfully in tune to her lover’s half hearted and whimpered pleas for her to slow down. She could tell that Emmrich was using the last threads of his self control not to thrust into her throat at his own rythm. His thighs were clenching, his knees buckling, she could tell he was losing it.

He was close. But this was far from over yet.

After a wicked swirl of her tongue around him, Rook pulled back, earning a distraught whine from her lover.

She barely wipped her mouth before she got up and proceeded to quickly take off her clothes. Emmrich’s gaze followed the reveal of her bare skin with a distinct hunger. For a second she had rendered him lost as what to do with himself. He stood before her, painfully hard and half dressed, panting and flushed. He looked ravishing; and she wouldn’t give him the leisure of regaining the composure she worked so hard to break.

Rook quickly stepped back into his arms, pressing her naked form flush against his body.

“I think you’ve warmed up enough” She said against his lips, her hand caressing his chest where his shirt was opened. He tried to follow after her lips but she pulled away, instead hiking one leg up his hip. Emmrich’s scattered brain had mere seconds to gather what was expected of him before Rook jumped into his arms, wrapping her beautiful legs around his narrow waist. Emmrich caught her of course, his hands coming to support her backside while she anchored her arms behind his neck.

“Now it is your turn to do all the work” Rook teased, but Emmrich complied.

“Gladly” He breathed before he crashed his lips into Rook’s, his usual finesse lost in the turmoil of his desire.

Rook’s shorter and lighter figure was easy to carry for Emmrich, who possessed more muscles than would be expected of a scholar. In his endevour to age as well as possible, he had adopted a healthy lifestyle consisting of a balanced diet and a lot of exercise. The watcher valued physical form as much as a keen intellect. To fight the rebellious undead of the Necropolis, one needed to stay in shape. Also, Rook learned when they met that necromancers from Nevarra enjoyed friendly tornaments of battle magic and took pride in winning them if possible. Emmrich had his pride, and trained so he would easily prevail if a student or colleague dared challenge him.

Rook remembered feeling both surprised and weirdly aroused the first time Emmrich twisted the limbs of a Venatori cultist with a florish of his wrist, and then proceeded to send him flying with a powerful strike of his heavy staff. To think she first considered him a delicate scholar when they met, and even hesitated bringing him to the field. How wrong she had been, and how she then had put that strength to good use.

Rook wasn’t too heavy, but to perform the activities they had fallen into, they needed more stability. While he kept kissing his lover, Emmrich walked to the nearest wall and proceeded to carefully press Rook’s back against it. The support the wall offered allowed him to free one of his hands. He held Rook around the waist with one arm, and while his lips went down to explore the delicious column of her neck, his free hand traced a path from her clavicle to her breast, where he focused his attention. He squeezed and pressed just the way she liked, without forgetting to give attention to her already erected nipple. Rook’s head fell back into the wall as an abandonned moan escaped her lips when his mouth replaced his fingers on her chest. In an impressive exercise of multi-tasking and balance, Emmrich’s hand travelled lower, testing the state of arousal of his lover. She could see the bicep of the arm holding her tensing under the strain of her weight, pulling the fabric of his shirt tight. That sight only could have made her ready for him.

To only Emmrich’s surprise, Rook was soaking wet already. He collected some moisture on his index finger still, and proceeded to pet her clit for good mesure. Rook closed her eyes under his expert ministrations, but she shook her head when he started teasing her folds and her entrance.

“Please my heart, I need you now”

To think she planned on being the patient one today. Emmrich’s lips traveled back to her neck, then cheek, and stopped to kiss and nip at her sensitive ear.

“Who am to deny you when you find yourself in such distress dearest” He purred, low and assertive before he blew on her wet and tender ear, making her gasp and shamelessly grind against his erection.

Rook admired the display of Emmrich’s strength as he repositionned her to align her center with his aching need. She was vulnerable and opened, her legs brought up against the inside of his elbow, her ankles thrown over his shoulders and her weight supported by both the wall and Emmrich’s long fingers grabbing her hip dips, her lower back mostly fitting into his large palms.

He entered her slowly, making sure she was comfortable. The sight was delightfully exciting: Emmrich still half dressed taking her naked form, the muscles of his broad shoulders and of his arms flexing to hold her in place as he penetrated her.

A first tentative thrust and then Emmrich pressed flush against Rook, bending her in half and trapping her against the wall while his cock caressed her insides. She felt impossibly full and deliciously stretched, forced to take him without moving; losing the ability to form a coherent sentence from the raw pleasure of it all.

Rook’s moans were loud and unrestrained as Emmrich took her against the wall, deep and slow. Even when pent up, he still was one to make groundbreaking love and not copulate like animals. He did slip a few times however, thrusting harder as he lost a bit of control the more Rook tightened and gushed around him.

Tears wet her eyelashes from how good it all felt, the sensations heightened by the praises Emmrich’s velvet tongue kept drowning her in. He breathily told her about the marvelous display she offered, akin to a nymph straight from an Orlesian painting; a perfect portrayal of a godess of pleasure and lushness. He fed her poetry as sweet as honey while ravishing her with impossibly accurate assaults of her most sensitive places, reaching impossibly deep in this position.

Rook left herself get lost in the pleasure he offered, and soon, as he told her he would hold her like this forever, make love to her endlessly, she choked on trying to tell him how much she loved him, whimpering instead while clenching down on him like a vice, coming around him in a raw display of bliss, tears of ecstasy rolling down her cheeks.

Gradually, Emmrich slowed down until his hips came to a stop. He reclined a little and pressed a few amourous kisses on Rook’s wet cheeks.

Rook’s chest was still rising and falling rapidly when she regained the ability the think properly. Her previously hazy eyes found Emmrich’s warm brown ones.

“I love you” She whispered in a laboured breath as if it was the most important and fitting conclusion to this exchange.

Emmrich chuckled, amused and proud of himself for rendering Rook almost speechless “I love you too dearest”

He released her trembling legs so she could get them around his waist again. She hugged him tight while he held her by two hands under her backside, gently rocking her until she regained her footing.

After a while, Rook perked up, blinking away the haze in her mind only to realize something. She looked between them, where he was still hard against her. “You didn’t-” She started, looking to Emmrich. “What about you?” She asked, dejected. She wanted this to be about him and it ended up being about her again.

Emmrich’s chuckle was low and pleasing to her ears. “I believe I ought to prolonge the effort for the exercise to truly be efficient on burning calories.” He said, a mysterious smile on his thin lips. “A ratio of three to one should suffice for today don’t you think?”

Rook blinked owlishly. She had no clue what he was talking about.

Emmrich let her think about it, amused by her airheaded state. He took a step back, then turned and walked to their bed where he carefully dropped Rook on her backside on the silken covers.

“What ratio are we talking about?” Rook asked as Emmrich caught her leg by the ankle and brought it to his lips for a tender kiss to her malleolus.

“Orgasms of course darling. One for me after three for you” Emmrich replied like it was the most obvious of things. His assertive brown gaze pinned Rook down, making her feel like a meal on display. “If you’d be kind enough to help me keep on exercising of course” He added lowly, in that tone that made her wet without being touched.

Rook inhaled sharply, feeling herself ready to go again. She couldn’t possibly refuse such an offer.

“Well, I did say I’d help…”

[minnophee-writes]

Right Where You Were Meant To Be

Fandom: Avengers [Marvel]

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Plus-size Reader

Summary: The reader has a crush on Bucky the second she looked at him but she also has feelings of self-consciousness about her body and doubts she’d ever end up with Bucky or any guy like Bucky. That all changes one night at one of Tony’s parties.

Word Count: 2,760 words

A/N: This is a cute little one-shot idea I had and just wanted to write out. I feel there aren’t many plus-size!reader stories so I wanted to make my own. I’m a chubby girl and felt like I needed some love, lmao. Any mistakes I take responsibility for, this story wasn’t beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!!! <3 <3 <3 [edit: this is an old fanfic lol]

It all started when you looked at him for the first time. He had just moved into the Tower, and you had just gotten the job as Tony's new assistant since Pepper had become CEO of Stark Industries. Because you worked in an environment with superheroes who were very fit and healthy, you had become self-conscious of yourself; whether it would be what you wore, the things you ate, or just how your body looked in general.

Being a bigger girl, it often took a toll on your mental health when you would notice the glances, the whispering, the judgmental stares, and how shopping for clothes in your size was difficult, and it made you feel like you had to lose weight to fit in and belong. You felt alone and isolated.

You didn't have any friends; you didn't even talk to many of your co-workers, and just kept to yourself a majority of the time. When Bucky moved in, you noticed he did the same. He didn't speak much to the rest of the team, he mostly stayed in his room, and only hung around Steve. Bucky was very fit, and his muscular body showed it whenever he wore tight-fitted clothing. You would never wear tight-fitted clothing for fear of having your plumpness accentuated.

After five months working for Tony and having a more friendly relationship with the rest of the team, you had built a few close bonds with some of the heroes. Wanda and Natasha were your closest girlfriends and would regularly have 'Lady's Nights' every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Tony, Clint, Sam, and Steve were like your older brothers and would look out for you.

You and Steve made it a routine to do small exercise and yoga in the afternoons just after 4 o'clock. How this all started was because you wanted to accomplish small goals for yourself, as Sam told you to do to help with your mental health.

"Steve," You called out as you stepped into the Tower's gym, the one place you knew where to find Steve if he wasn't in the common room.

"Oh, hey (Y/N)! What's up?" Steve turned to face you as he held the punching bag still while he watched you walk closer to him, noticing you fidgeting with your fingers nervously.

"I just... I wanted to start doing light exercises, you know, to boost my endorphins, and so I have something to do in the afternoons when I've finished with work." It wasn't a complete lie, but it just sugar-coated the fact that you just wanted to lose weight to gain confidence in yourself.

Steve had agreed to help you; he wouldn't push you too much either because he didn't want you to strain anything and not push you out of your comfort zone too much. Both of you would exercise for an hour each day in the afternoons. This routine had been going on for six weeks, and you were enjoying it. You felt better about yourself each week when you would check your progress and write down how much you lost during the week; you were more confident than you were all those weeks ago before asking Steve for help.

During one of those afternoon exercises, you and Steve were both in the Adho Mukha pose with Steve wearing his usual tight t-shirt, that you swore was a size too small, and shorts while you wore a loose, black tank top, and tight-fitted leggings that complemented the shape of your plump ass. You were so in the zone that you hadn't heard the gym doors open and the sound of footsteps coming closer to you. Bucky stood behind you and Steve, him getting an eyeful of your butt while he cleared his throat to catch his best friend's attention.

"Hey, Bucky! I didn't notice you were there. (Y/N) and I were doing some yoga, would you like to join us?"

You. Were. Mortified. You quickly stood up beside Steve and looked down at your feet, trying to avoid looking at Bucky after having your ass practically in his face.

"Uh, I kinda have to get ready for 'Girl's Night' tonight, but I think Bucky can keep you company." You nervously spoke, having your words jumble out quickly due to your inner-embarrassment. "I'll see you later, Steve!"

You bolted out of the gym as fast as your legs could go and made it up into your room without another incident. When you flopped onto your bed, you let out a loud, exhausted sigh before closing your eyes shut tightly. 'Why did I have to act like a nervous wreck? You didn't even let him talk for Christ's sake!' After beating yourself up over the little incident, you started to get ready for 'Girl's Night' with Nat and Wanda.

~~~~~~

It was two hours into 'Girl's Night' and you, Nat and Wanda had, at least, drank four glasses of Kraken Rum and about three shots of Vodka. You were more relaxed and carefree, enjoying your time with your best friends while gossiping about an episode of Criminal Minds you all saw the other day together.

"Not gonna lie, I would love to have a man like Morgan. Have you seen his muscles? And how he kicks down doors like a badass?" You gushed.

"That is true, and I fully believe Morgan and Garcia should be together. They have chemistry and look so cute!" Wanda loved her Morgan and Garcia ship.

"Eh, I like to have a super cute genius but that's just my opinion" Nat took a sip of her fruity vodka drink while shrugging her shoulders.

"Of course you would, you're with Bruce and that's a little bias, Nat." You gently shoved your red-haired friend playfully.

You and Wanda giggled like school girls when Natasha scoffed before she pointed an accusing finger at you.

"Well, says you, (Y/N)! You practically drool whenever you see Barnes."

That shut you up quickly. 'How does she know?! Play it off...'

"That's very funny Nat, but I don't know what you mean."

"Don't bullshit me, (Y/N). I've seen the way your cheeks get all pink and how your eyes are glued to him whenever he walks by. You're so smitten it's grossly cute." Then Wanda turned to you with a small smirk on her face.

"Maybe you should ask him to work out with you and Steve!"

Flashbacks of your embarrassment earlier that day made your face go pale. 'Absolutely not'. You shook your head furiously, staring at your two friends with fear. There was no way you'd have the guts to do such a thing, not after how you acted around him before. Plus, you didn't want him to look at you with disgust when he looks at you working out. You shake off all the negative thoughts before finishing off your last bits of rum.

"I think I'm going to head off to bed now, gotta wake up early tomorrow. Tony wants me to help him organize and plan a gala party to celebrate his newest project. And when I say to 'help him' I mean I'll be doing most of the work while he hides away in his lab with Bruce." You said before walking off and waving the girls goodbye.

2 weeks later...

You had most of the gala planned out. You had booked a cute catering company to organize some food dishes for everyone and even hired a group of people to decorate one of the large common rooms that would fit all the guests on Tony's guest-list. You had even bought a cute new dress to wear for the party. The party was starting that night at 7:30 and you would hopefully get everything done while having an hour and a half to spare to get ready.

When the decorating and planning finished, you quickly made your way to your room and got showered and changed. You stood in front of your mirror for quite some time, nitpicking every flaw you could see, judging your appearance because you knew how the other women at the party were going to look flawless and have every man swooping in for them. A sudden knock on your door snapped you out of your negative thoughts.

"(Y/n), you ready?" Wanda's voice called from the other side.

"Y-yeah! I'm coming now." You dashed for the door to get away from the mirror so you can't put yourself down even more. Once opening the door, Wanda linked your arm with hers, and both of you walked toward the elevator.

Telling FRIDAY which floor, you both arrived just as a few of the guests were mingling around; drinking, eating, and chatting. You glanced around, hoping to see the familiar faces of your friends, spotting Sam, Nat, and Clint near the bar where Natasha was serving the drinks. Tony was standing next to Pepper and being an absolute flirt as always while Steve and Bucky were standing near a corner with drinks in hand. Before you could make your way over to the bar, Wanda told you to wait where you were while she goes to quickly touch up her make-up, disappearing before you could say a word. You stood there awkwardly and looked around, making sure everything was going swimmingly until you felt a presence behind you. A tap on your confirmed that someone was indeed behind you.

You turned around to see a group of two slender women and three muscular men staring at you with smug and cocky smiles on their faces.

"Can we get some more drinks? And make them with a little more alcohol this time." One of the men quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to scurry off to grab their drinks.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not part of catering. I'm-"

"You certainly look it though, I mean, you're not dressed like you're here as a guest. The dress you're wearing looks like the other catering staff." A woman spat, her eyes narrowed at you. You started to feel self-conscious about your outfit now, realizing the color-scheme looked very similar to the catering staff.

"Plus, the dress isn't that flattering for your body hun. We can practically see your muffin top and panty lines with how tight that dress is on you." The other woman commented while she leaned to the side to glance at more of your plush figure.

A stinging sensation began to appear behind your eyes, feelings of doubt, and an anxiety attack began to make themselves known. So looked away from the group and quickly made for the elevator, shooting Wanda a quick text saying you weren't feeling too well. 'How stupid of me to think I even looked good or that I could fit in at the party.' By the time the elevator doors reached your floor and the doors opened, hot tears were falling down your cheeks as you tried to furiously wipe them away with zero results. The tears kept flowing down as you began to walk down the hallway to your room; quiet footsteps barely making noise as they followed you. Just as your hand settled on the door handle, a warm hand clasped onto your shoulder gently. With a yelp, you spun around with a jump to look at your "attacker", only to find a pair of stormy blue eyes staring at your teary eyes intensely.

Bucky's eyes held hints of concern and worry, but it was hard to see because he was good at hiding his emotions, and the fact that your eyes were blurry from crying.

"You okay, (Y/n)? I saw you leave the party quickly and noticed how fast your breathing was." Bucky had to look down at you because he was so tall, or was it because you were just very short?

"I'm fine, Bucky. I just don't do well in crowded places or with so many strangers. I got a bit overwhelmed but it's fine now." You weakly smiled but he could see right through it, he always did.

"You had a panic attack after speaking to a group of people and judging by the looks they gave you while talking to them, I can only believe it wasn't a pleasant conversation." Bucky then brought both his flesh and metal hands to cup your face while he peered into your eyes more. "Tell me what happened, doll."

You sighed, you knew he wasn't going to let this go. Even though you both barely spoke to each other, he still cared for you like the both of you knew each other for years. Something about his calm voice and caring nature helped your nerves settle.

"They thought I was part of catering and asked if I could get them more drinks. I told them I wasn't catering, only for them to make snarky comments about my outfit and body. But it's fine, I'm used to having those comments made to me, I've dealt with those types of people all my life." Your hands gently held his and tried to move them away from your face but Bucky didn't budge.

"You don't believe them, right? I mean, I think the dress looks good on you. It shows off your curves and any man who doesn't get blown away is blind."

You gave a humorless laugh and shook your head at Bucky, looking down at the floor.

"You're just saying that to be nice to me, Buck. We both know girls like me don't belong in a place like this, or a party like that. You can go back to the party, I don't want to waste more of your time." You went to turn away when Bucky held your upper arms tightly.

"Not a chance, doll. I'm not a fan of crowds myself and was about to leave the party myself until I saw you run away. I'd rather spend my time with you and making sure you don't ever think that you don't belong."

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, his stare was intense with adoration and love while you stared at him in shock that he'd want to spend time with you. Before you could blink, Bucky leaned down and you felt his soft lips on yours, his arms wrapping around you and caging you into a warm and gentle embrace. Your hands rested onto his firm chest while his hands rested on your lower back, just above your butt. At first, you were in shock but then you gave in to the kiss and snaked your arms around his neck, your fingers embedded into his long hair.

The kiss was full of passion, and so much love that you didn't think it was possible. When the need for air was too much, you both separated and looked into each other's eyes once again.

"H-how? Why me? We barely know each other!"

"Because, (Y/n), I've been smitten for you since I first laid eyes on you but didn't have the guts to tell you. Steve's been a punk and trying to get me to join your work out sessions for weeks but I was too nervous to do it." Bucky's cheeks tinted red as he chuckled.

"And why's that? I was scared that if saw me working out, that you'd be grossed out by my body." You explained, chewing on your bottom lip.

"I could never be grossed out, sweetheart. I love a woman with curves and plumpness to her. I was nervous that if I watched you work out, I would try to make a move on you too fast and scare you away. I didn't want that to happen." Bucky grabbed your chin and leaned in again, his lips almost touching yours. "And you looked downright sexy in those tights, they shape your ass well."

You gasped and lightly smacked his shoulder while he smirked at you. His playfulness coming through. You made the first move this time and got onto your tippy toes to kiss him. It was quicker than the first but still held the same emotions. With so much strength you underestimated he had, Bucky lifted you up - your legs wrapped around his waist - as he opened your door and carried you over to your bedroom. Both of you watched a bunch of movies in your room; many kisses were shared before you both passed out, cuddled up under your fluffy blankets, safe in Bucky's arms. 

Right where you were meant to be all along.

[theresattrpgforthat]

Learning How to Play Protect the Child: Part 4: Stress and Reactions.

If you have never played a Forged in the Dark game before, picking up one can be intimidating, and that includes Protect the Child. In a Part 1, I introduced the Action Roll, as well as Position & Effect. In Part 2, I talk about Assembling your dice. In Part 3, I talked about Resistance.

Today, I’m going to talk about Stress and Reactions!

So, we’ve talked about how you can take Stress to improve your roll, and we’ve also talked about how you can use your Stress as a damage soak by rolling to resist. But what happens when your Stress Clock fills?

In Blades in the Dark, once your stress clock fills, you have to mark a point of Trauma, with a description of how your character has changed; perhaps they’ve gone Soft, and don’t want to do anything that puts people in danger, or perhaps they’re now Reckless, and jump into missions without thinking about their own safety. Trauma is a drawn-out retirement track: once you take four Traumas, your character is out of the game.

In Protect the Child however, you’re not grinding closer and closer to burning out: you’re just getting closer and closer to reacting in an unhealthy way. When you fill your Stress Clock, you can’t do anything that takes on extra stress until your character has expressed one of the reactions on your character sheet, but once you've had a Reaction, your Clock empties again!

The Reactions for the Business-Beast.

Each character sheet has four reactions that are universal, and then one reaction that is specific to the character. The Bruiser Brute might destroy something to the point of uselessness, while the Meddle Mentor might reprimand the Child for their imperfections or failures. You also gain a point of XP at the end of the session if you triggered your Reaction!

The use of Stress in Forged in the Dark games can vary, but in most cases it’s a form of player currency that is going to give you some control over what happens in any given scenario, while still stockpiling consequences for later.

What I’m hoping to do with Protect the Child is use the culmination of Stress to put the characters under a lot of pressure - taking care of a kid can be really difficult, and it’s hard not to let your own emotions boil over and push you towards doing something unhelpful. I think it’s also an interesting problem generator, which takes some of the weight off of the GM’s shoulders: if the players are blowing things up once in a while, it’s pretty easy to react to that. I think the list of reactions also allows you as a player to signal what struggles are interesting for you, and what problems you want your character to work through.

Next week, I’ll talk about how to mitigate Stress, as well as what to do when the action simmers down and it’s time for your characters to take a break - Rest Stops!

If you want to start learning how to play Protect the Child, I recommend taking a look at the Google Spreadsheets linked on the store page and flipping through the character tabs. The Quickstart characters are 90% fleshed out and can give you an idea of what different character pieces can look like, and there’s a rules reference for how to roll underneath the stats for each character.

I also believe that playing is one of the easiest ways to learn, so if you want some hands on experience, hop into the playtest discord! There is at least one game happening every week designed to be easy for first-timers to hop into and give it a whirl.

If you want to read more about Forged in the Dark play, you can check out my intro to Forged in the Dark, as well as my explanation of clocks!

[sandpanckes]

"That I don't do this usually I don't know what you do to me"

THIQUE ⋆｡˚♱⋆｡˚♰⋆｡˚

𓇼paring:: lo'ak (human) x tsireya (human)

𓇼genre:: mature (explicit sexual content)

𓇼word count:: 1.3k

𓇼warnings:: 18+, aged-up characters, mild dirty talk, , p in v penetration, m ejaculation, spanking.

It was Tuesday which meant Tsireya had off so she could spend the day with her two favorite people- Lo’ak and Zoey. It was an easy morning, as any since Zoey had gotten on a consistent sleeping schedule, and now Tsireya was wandering around the house since Lo’ak still had work and she was bored since Zoey was asleep.

Nothing he hadn’t seen before, Tsireya walked into Lo’ak’s office to dust off the fan in her underwear with a simple camisole. Making sure she was out of his computer camera view she cleaned the top of his fan, oblivious to his eyes on her. Retracting the duster, she was disappointed that there was barely any dust to clean off it.

Well, that’s one less thing I can do.

Back in their bedroom, Tsireya scrolled through her phone in utter boredom. She dusted, mopped, scrubbed, and swept the house for the week leaving nothing to do. Tempted to call her mom to meet for lunch, she felt arms encircle her waist.

“What are you doing?” He murmured, leaning down to rest his head on her shoulder.

“Should I ask mommy out for lunch?”

“Hmm.” Humming, he turned his head so his voice was muffled by her hair.

“That was a yes or no question, Lo’ak.” She teased.

“Have you healed yet?” He asked and Tsireya’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“I gave birth six months ago.” She didn’t know where his mind was and it piqued her interest as much as it scared her.

“That wasn’t my question.”

“Yes, I’m healed. Why?”

Please don’t ask her to go sky diving again.

Instead of responding, his arms tightened, and he pressed a kiss to her neck

“Are you trying to seduce me Twilight style?” She chuckled and Lo’ak groaned.

“If you mention that wretched piece of literature again, I might go soft.”

“I thought you liked it when Alice—”

Lo’ak let go of her and spun her around, so she was facing him. His hands resumed their position on her waist although they slowly moved down until they were firmly grabbing her new ass from the mommy weight and snapping her hips to his. She opened her mouth to make a comment, but he kissed her instead.

It was sensual and slow and Eywa when was the last time they’ve had sex? Her fuzzy brain tried to do the math but all of the numbers evaporated into thin air when she felt his hands grab the hem of her underwear.

“I take it you’re a fan of the new weight?’ Reya breathed once they pulled away to catch their breath. She had gained 70 pounds during her pregnancy, but the last 50 pounds still clung to her lower body and breasts like intertwined branches. Although, she couldn’t be too upset that she had an ass for the first time in her life.

“You’re always stunning.” He murmured and Tsireya rolled her eyes.

“Cop out answer.”

“How about I cop you out on the bed until you’re a sweaty mess that can’t walk?”

Tsireya opened her mouth then closed it. He leaned down to kiss her again, but she put a hand on his chest.

“Wait! Zoey.” She exclaimed before moving out of Lo’ak’s grasp to run out of the room to check on their daughter one last time.

Once she saw that Zoey was still asleep, she walked back into the room to see a naked Lo’ak with his clothes piled on the floor.

“Someone’s eager.” Reya smirked but was taken off guard when Lo’ak strided to her and grabbed her face to kiss her.

The kiss was full on undiluted lust and soon they were walking backwards until the back of Tsireya’s knees hit the bed frame. She expected them to fall but Lo’ak flipped her onto her front instead. He ran his hands down her semi-exposed back and she shivered in anticipation.

Next, his hands moved to her underwear that was slick with want. Slowly moving his thumb to rub her through her panties, she groaned when he felt wet fabric.

“Someone’s eager.” He teased.

“Just fuck me.”

“Your wish, my command.”

Pulling her underwear off, she was oblivious to where he flung them. All she could focus on was the head of his dick which was running up and down her pussy. Teasingly pressing into her core, he then ran the tip through her labia to her clit and back up. She would typically complain about him being too slow, but she was so sensitive and pent up after six months, she could feel herself reaching the edge.

He slowly pushed the tip inside and Tsireya groaned as she repeatedly clenched around nothing. Grabbing the comforter, she felt her toes curl as Lo’ak pulled out.

“Tsireya.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She panted, her heart still pounding from her climax.

“Okay.” He chuckled.

Instead of entering her, he resumed his teasing. Through her first orgasm, she still felt her core throb with each stroke of her clit. She was so close and all she needed was-

Lo’ak fully sheathed himself inside of her and she came again.

“Uh!” She groaned, feeling the familiar warmth spread through her body. Instead of pulling out, Lo’ak remained inside her warmth.

“Really?” Lo’ak asked, his voice playful.

“Mm.” Reya nodded, still euphoric from the dopamine rush.

Instead of teasing her more, Lo’ak leaned down to kiss her shoulder blade fondly before smacking her ass. She jolted but moaned, nonetheless.

“You like that, baby?” He cooed and hit her again, this time soothing where he hit her afterwards.

“Please.” Tsireya whined.

He knew exactly what she was asking for as he started moving in her. Too drunk on lust, he wasted no time before he was slamming into her with earnest. His hand occasionally came down on her right cheek, the sting of pain making Tsireya shudder as her head fell limp on the comforter.  

“Fuck!” Tsireya cried out, pushing back against Lo’ak’s brutal pace. The sex hurt in the best way and she knew she’d be sore next day at work but she didn’t care. The thought of Lo’ak’s handprint on her ass because he loved it so much sent her over the edge for the third time that afternoon.

“Come on baby. You can give me one more.” Lo’ak coaxed and kept pushing his dick into Tsireya.

She whimpered against the thick sheet but doesn’t squirm away from the overstimulation. Instead, she welcomes it, groaning again when Lo’ak slaps her ass again. She felt like she was going to explode, like there was a propane tank in her engulfed in flames. Her breath quickened as she felt her fourth orgasm of the afternoon approaching and she feared it would be more intense than the first three.

A well-aimed thrust mixed with the sting of a recent blow made her cry out as she tensed up and lifted her legs so her knees were bent. Moving on from her ass, he moved his hand to lift her hips so he could hit that spot again and again and again until Tsireya felt delirious from pleasure.

“Lo’ak.” She cried and her orgasm exploded within her like a bomb. Clenching her eyes shut, she felt a sob erupt out of her as Lo’ak groaned above her and came.

Repeatedly saying how much she loved him, Lo’ak kept slowly thrusting into Tsireya as he bent down to press kisses on her back again and soothingly rubbed her right butt cheek.

When he caught his breath, he flipped her over so she was on her back to kiss her deeply.

“Love you too, baby.”

[moonfurthetemmie]

Untitled.MP4

Previous | Next | First (with warnings)

Part 8

June 22, 20XX

Zuli is working on something just off-camera. There’s a sizzling sound, like a hot pan. Mercury, sitting in the center of the camera’s view, is removing his hand from the camera.

“This smells…weird.”

Mercury looks over.

“Does it? I’ve kinda gotten used to it.”

“It smells like a mix of beef and wet mulch. The beef smell is great, but the mulch smell is equally bad. Net 0 hunger gained. But somehow I still want to eat these less now than I did yesterday.”

Mercury snorts. Zuli straightens up, and turns. In a frying pan are some of the mushrooms. He looks much healthier now, and calmer. …And cleaner. His eyes are brighter, his hair is combed, he’s put on more weight. The mushrooms seem to be doing him good, for better or worse.

“Would you like your gourmet, unseasoned, pan-fried infectious mushrooms, sir?” Zuli has a fake british accent. 

“Ah, yes; thank you, chef.”

The pair snickers. “It’s very hot, by the way. Don’t burn yourself.”

“Yes sir.”

Mercury picks up a small mushroom on what appears to be a bamboo skewer. Zuli moves away from the camera, soon returning with his own mushroom skewer.

“Right. So.” Mercury takes a bite. He makes a face, but continues eating. Zuli seems to have to work up the courage to eat his.

“Obsidian is still around, as I thought. He’s locked in his room. It seems like they intentionally tried to fill his room with spores, because there’s more mushrooms and mold growing in there than anywhere else except the kitchen.”

“And the only reason the kitchen is so full is because someone left a bunch of food out,” Zuli says. “Mercury said he hasn’t been in there since everything started, but judging by the looks of it, it had been out for more than just a few days. My guess, given how high-functioning the others are, is that they intentionally left it out for the fungus to grow on, so that any food in there would be unsafe to eat for anyone who wasn’t infected. 

“Some of the food in the fridge has small amounts of mold from this fungus growing on them, in addition to your average spoiled food molds and nastiness. It was probably contaminated for a long time, but clearly, it didn’t look it. It was probably an intentionally laid trap.”

Mercury takes another bite of his skewer as Zuli speaks. He finishes it quickly, and throws the stick away.

“Zuli’s got a good instinct for things. I’m extra glad he hasn’t gotten infected.” Zuli looks away.

“A lot of it is just pessimism.”

“Look, if it keeps us safe, I’ll take it.” Mercury pulls a notebook over. “Back to Obsidian for the moment, since we all love talking about that fuckwad-”

Zuli tries not to laugh with food in his mouth. Mercury gives a slight smile.

“He’s way, way worse off than Jade was. I’m not sure if it’s the time, or if they’ve been trying harder to infect him than Jade. It’s been about a week since I’ve seen Jade, so I can’t say for sure. Either way, he’s absolutely covered in the mushrooms, far more than anyone else, and their infections have been getting progressively worse as time goes on. They’ve almost completely covered his eyes, except for one small spot. He seems to be mostly immobile, and he didn’t talk much.”

Zuli finishes his skewer, and discards the stick.

“He barely even reacted when we came in. We almost thought he was dead, but when he heard our voices he looked over.” Zuli shudders. “He didn’t move his head that much, but it sounded like it hurt. He might literally be attached to his bed, now.”

Mercury shakes his head in dismay. “I can only imagine how much pain he’s in. I almost feel bad. It’d probably be a mercy to kill him now, and it sounds like he wouldn’t object.”

“Maybe we should check on Jade at some point?” Zuli suggests. “Might help us get a better idea of how this thing works if we can compare them.”

“I’d like to, but I’m not sure we could,” Mercury says. “His room was almost as ‘guarded’ as Obsidian’s, last time I was there. And they might’ve added extra precautions. It’s been a whole week since I’ve seen him.”

Zuli considers this, folding his arms. “I’d suggest going myself, but I don’t really think either of us should be alone out there if we can help it…Even if it does give you more time to work on the cure.”

“Yeeah…It’s safer to go together. If we really, really have to, we’ll see about…solo missions?”

Mercury looks uncertain, but Zuli gives a small laugh. 

“Solo missions. I like it.”

Mercury snorts. It’s clear the company has done a lot for his mood and mental health. 

“We might need something to defend ourselves, though. I’m not sure what we could use that wouldn’t need serious decontamination every time we go out with it.”

Zuli scratches his chin. Mercury stares at him for a moment before putting his face in his hands.

“Two weeks, and I never thought about finding a weapon.”

Zuli purses his lips. 

“...There’s a joke to be made there about the doctor’s creed. ‘Do no harm.’ You didn’t even think to find a weapon.”

“Shut up.” Zuli laughs. Mercury mutters something unintelligible and reaches forwards.

The video ends.

[dudduk4992]

Too thin

‘Your too thin’

‘Am not’

‘You are’ Zach Replied as the young couple came through the door ‘You heard the doctor, your underweight for your pregnancy, plus your carrying twins. Our twins

Zach placed his hands on Thomas’s 3 month pregnant belly and looked up at his Husband, strong and Athletic from countless years of heavy Football and unbelievably handsome with a perfect face, Dark blond hair and mesmerising Caribbean Green eyes, Zach was good looking, but nothing compared to his beautiful man. Zach and Thomas were a young couple, too young to some people, Thomas had proposed to Zach at their senior year graduation party, which he had accepted immediately, they had been married for three years, both men now twenty two.

However the pregnancy had been a complete accident, Thomas forgetting to protect himself and a week later finding out he was pregnant. He had always wanted kids, but wanted to wait longer before he had any, he was still in his youth, still playing football and going to bars with his friends and simply enjoying life, he was too young to rise children.

Thomas had begun to eat less after he found out it was twin boys. He had always had a healthy appetite and ate well to keep his perfect football physic but that had been going down-hill lately, Zach new that too well, he wanted the love of his life to be healthy and safe, and he wanted to make sure his future sons would be too, even if it meant doing things differently.

It was a Friday night and Zach had finished work before taking Thomas for a check-up, the doctor continuing to tell Thomas he needed to eat more, but Thomas merely shrugged in response. Zach had been worried about it for a while, but decided it was time to take action. ‘I’m gonna head up to bed’ Thomas sighed ‘I’m pretty tired’ ‘No you’re not’ Zach replied sharply ‘Dinner?’

‘I’m not hungry’ Thomas said yet again, rolling his eyes. ‘You must be hungry’ Zach said, swiftly blocking the staircase ‘All you’ve eaten today was an energy bar and an apple, you’ve got to be hungry’ Thomas had begun to open his mouth to reply when his stomach emitted a growl in hunger, causing both men to look at it in surprise. ‘Not hungry?’ Zach said smirking.

‘Fine’ Thomas sighed ‘Maybe I am, but I can’t go around eating all the time, I don’t want to be one of those guys that gets fat after their pregnancy’

‘But you won’t’ Zach said placing his hand on Thomas’s ‘Your healthy and fit, your not going to get fat from eating’

‘Your just saying that’ Thomas muttered before pushing past Zach. Worriedly Zach tried to think of something to do, until an idea popped in his head.

‘There’s nothing wrong with gaining weight Thomas’ Zach said carefully ‘You need to eat, your underweight and far from fat, please just eat dinner with me, I got frozen pizza, ice-cream and all the other foods you like, we can just relax and eat whatever we want in moderation’ Zach looked pleadingly at Thomas and saw that he was slowly nodding in agreement.

Zach smiled and slowly kissed Thomas before heading into the kitchen to prepare as much as he could.

Meanwhile Thomas sat down to relax and watch the sports, accepting that he really was hungry, not eating properly had made him famished, and the soft smell of pizza being warmed up only made him hungrier.

Before too long two pizzas were done and Zach was back in the kitchen cooking up a lasagne, while getting an assortment of other foods ready. And as Zach placed more food on the table along with four-litre bottles of coke. Thomas placed a hand on his small belly bump and moaned at the smell of all the cooking.

‘We can eat now’ Zach chirped dropping the lasagne on the table, and Thomas didn’t wait for Zach to sit down at all. Grabbing the first pizza he began to stack pieces above one another, before cramming each one into his mouth, while at the same time cramming handfuls of chips from a packet on the table into his hungry mouth, Thomas almost zoned out as he ate, focusing on pushing things into his mouth, Zach Trying his best to keep up with his starved husband, as they stuffed themselves like never before.

Soon the Pizza was gone and Thomas had begun on the Lasagne, forcing each forkful down while gulping down big sips of coke, Thomas wasn’t exactly aware of how much he was downing, not just the lasagne, but donuts and pastry’s at the same time, big handfuls of chips and two of the subs Zach had picked up at the deli, very soon Thomas was aware of the intense fullness that had begun to build up in his midsection, his growing stomach beginning to press against his UA shirt, his waistband was starting to tighten, which Thomas fumbled with while continuing to eat, he was kinda relieved he was wearing sweatpants. As he loosened the strings.

At the same time Zach stuffed himself more then he had ever before, taking glances before shoving more food into his mouth to stare at his beautiful Husband as he too stuffed himself with the lasagne and subs in front of him, Thomas’s belly beginning to grow heavy. Zach managed to polish off his second pizza before he looked down to see his belly bulging outwards from the food, distending his sports top, shit, Zach’s stomach was really growing with all the food, but he didn’t want to stop, Thomas was going to feel self-conscious, so Zach wanted to eat with him, grow a big bulging belly with his husband if he had to, which honestly, he really wanted to, so he kept on eating.

The last, and perhaps biggest part of the meal tonight, Thomas found in awe, was an enormous roast Zach had cooked, just for the two of them. How am I supposed to eat all of this? Thomas thought, but part of him already knew he could do this, and without thinking, he and Zach tore in. As the two of them continued to wolf down the perfectly tender roast, Thomas realised that his stomach had begun to get very heavy as well as growing in size. His belly was so big it now sat on his lap all on its own. Even now his extended sweatpants were too tight, so with a bit of fumbling, Thomas dropped them down to his ankles and sat in his boxers, gently rubbing his stomach, surprised at how nice it felt.

Zach ate while rubbing his enormous gut, which too now was on his lap from its mass and size, his shirt no longer covered his entire stomach, but rather, half of the huge orb that was now Zach’s stomach . Zach hadn’t even bothered to use utensils, he simply ate with his hands as his stomach bowed out more, pushing his jeans so tight that before he knew it-

POP!

The buttons of his pants flew across the room, as his pants unravelled open and his huge gut spread out into the newfound space, neither of the men even bothered to look up, both were too focused on eating. Eventually however, all good things came to an end. Soon the roast had been completely destroyed, nothing left but bones. And to their surprise, both Zach and Thomas were still hungry. Burping and grunting, Zach got up and quickly made his way into the kitchen and came back out shortly after carrying an assortment of foods for them to finish. Packets of chips, four litres of milk, loaves of bread, an entire chocolate cake, emetically all the good foods that were left in the house.

Eating the rest of the food was easy for the two young men, really It took no more then five minutes for them to demolish everything left on the table.

Zach picked at his teeth and belched deeply before groaning. He was beyond full now, almost near the point of popping. His stomach was almost as big as an exercise ball, the skin on his stomach felt taunt and stretched from the sheer mass of food he had eaten alone. He placed a hand on his gut, impressed at how much the two of them had eaten. He continued to rub and massage his blimp-sized belly were his flat stomach had once been.

Thomas leaned back and groaned. All that remained of their meal was the carcass of the roast and towering stacks of dirty dishes, pots and pizza boxes. Thomas released a loud manly belch, thumping his belly and fingering his outie as he did so. His stomach was so huge and wide, stretched and taunt, just looking at it gave him a hard-on. How the two of them had eaten this much was beyond him, but Thomas felt a gluttonous pride as he caressed his enormous belly, there was enough food to feed 10 people in his stomach, and he had eaten it all with no problem, not to mention his twin boys too. Thomas closed his eyes and burped again, thinking about breakfast.

[undeadorion-archive]

Last week I had a check up with my pulmonologist. Despite accepting that I have asthma, my recovery and discussion with her has left me with a lot to come to terms with.

First and foremost is the severity. I’m basically at the highest possible end of moderate, teetering towards severe. I’m at the limit of what standard meds can do. I’m on 2 inhalers at maximum dosage and 2 different types of allergy meds and it’s still not 100% controlled. If it ever gets any worse or I get too many flare ups, we will need to switch to the injection type of meds to control it.

The other thing is the confirmation that I’ve had this all my life so it’s not an acute things that will eventually go away. A mystery from when I was like 5 was most likely a very severe asthma attack. The burning in my lungs when I tried playing the clarinet in middle school was asthma. Any time I’ve had to run for any reason and felt like I was breathing hot sand. Asthma.

But I think the hardest thing to cope with is the severely delayed anger and resentment. Former partners and former friends who tested me like garbage over things I simply couldn’t do. Refusing to help me carry groceries up the stairs. Being passive aggressive about my not liking the heat and expecting me to suck it up for their sake (heat us one of my triggers). Getting irritated at me because I couldn’t walk as long as they could. Overall, treating me as if I were lazy. As if it were a choice.

It’s enough to make me want to track the worst offenders down and make sure they understand just what they did to me. But doing that won’t change anything and would just be a waste of time and energy.

So it’s just a matter of slowly sorting through old experiences and putting them away. Knowing that I was never lazy, I was just incredibly sick.

When people see a fat person struggling to breathe, they resort to revulsion and shame, assuming the weight came first. Never once considering that maybe, just maybe, breathing issues hinders a person’s ability to be active and in turn causes them to gain weight.

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Nowhere to Run--Ch. 53

Chapter 53

           Jericho took a deep breath as he looked across the parking lot at the rest of the Inner Circle. Hager had a faint grin on his face. Ortiz laughed at the sight of Kat standing there. He could just imagine that the others were in the hallway just behind those two waiting on them. Seeing them at the door eased some of the deep anxiety in his chest. It meant that Kat wasn’t alone. That there were others who loved Kat and were willing to protect her from the mess and drama that was going to happen as soon as word spread that Kat was back.

           She reached out and laced her fingers with his. The rush of protectiveness that flooded him took his breath for a moment. It had been bad before with everything that Jack Perry had put her through. But now that she was pregnant, it was so much stronger. It was almost more than he could manage.

           “I’m right here, Kat. Always,” he said quietly. He squeezed her fingers. “And if you want out… if you want to leave… all you have to do is say. The second you want to go home, we’re gone.”

           Kat leaned against his shoulder. “I know.”

           Before either of them could say another word, Ortiz shouted across the parking lot. “Stop being gross and get your ass over here, mamí.”

           Jericho couldn’t help but laugh. “Go on.”

***

           I couldn’t deny that it felt good to be around the boys again. Coming back to Daily’s Place felt more like coming home than I expected. It didn’t matter that I had been gone for months. It didn’t matter that the last time I’d been in the building it had been horrible and I’d spent more than a few days crying over it.

           My heart skipped a beat as I took that first step toward the doors. I could still feel anxiety running just beneath my skin, but seeing Ortiz and Jake helped me push it down a little. Jericho was with me. Ortiz and Jake were there. And I knew that Santana and Sammy were there, too. I had Tony and Matt and Nick.

           Jericho leaned over to kiss the side of my head before swinging my hand forward and disentangling our fingers. “Go on,” he said with a chuckle. “Before they come running over here yelling like morons.”

           I smiled back at him before doing my best not to waddle across the parking lot. Ortiz laughed and shouted across the space between us. “Looking good, mamí,” he called. “But you movin’ kinda slow. Something wrong?”

           “Shut up,” I called back, trying not to huff at the exertion. It wasn’t that I had gained a lot of weight—I had gained some—but it had been a long time since I’d moved around like this. “If you had any sympathy you’d carry me around in a litter all day.”

           “I’ll handle that,” Hager said quietly. His smile got a bit bigger, but only by a fraction. Anyone who didn’t know him would think he was grimacing.

           I grinned back as I came up the ramp, clutching the railing. “You don’t have to do that, Jake.” He took two steps closer and tugged me into a hug.

           The moment Hager let me go, Ortiz took his turn. He hugged me so tightly that I didn’t think I’d be able to breathe for a week. I felt him drop a kiss on the top of my head before he pulled away. It didn’t get past me that he took a few extra seconds to look me up and down. Almost as if he were checking to make sure I was all in one piece.

           “Come on,” Ortiz ordered as he threw his arm around my shoulders. “There’s work for you to do, little girl.”

           I couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t know how much use I’ll be. It’s not like I can lug around gear and bottled water.”

           He shoved Hager out of the way with his free hand and maneuvered me through the door. Just as I’d expected, Sammy and Santana were waiting right inside in the hallway. The moment I stepped inside, I was yanked straight out of Ortiz’s grasp. Santana took my face in his hands and looked me over.

           “It’s so fucking good to see you, mamí,” he said vehemently. His brown eyes were bright and glassy, almost as if he were going to cry. He dropped ferocious, almost violent kisses on my cheeks.

           I opened my mouth to take a breath, but found myself sinking into tears. They came on suddenly, cascading down my cheeks and dripping off my chin. I sniffed and tried to suck in a breath. Santana pulled me in against his chest. One hand held the back of my head while the other settled against the middle of my back. He pressed a brotherly kiss to the side of my head.

           My fingers wrapped into his shirt. The air felt hot and close. Even with my eyes closed, I knew the boys had gathered around me. In a way, I felt braver than I had in months.

***

           Jericho stood in the doorway as his boys formed a protective ring around Kat. He watched Santana gather her up in a tight hold that almost lifted her off the floor. Hager—who barely ever cracked a smile—was looking at Kat as if he would burn down the world for her. There were times when it was still unbelievable how things had fallen into place with Kat. One day she had been the girl Tony had assigned as their assistant. She’d been there every week, making sure that the five of them never wanted for anything to do their jobs. And then one day he'd looked at her and seen… a young woman who was vibrant and funny and beautiful and who didn’t take any of their shit. She gave as good as she got, and they loved her completely for it.

           Kat Prince had changed his life in more ways than one, and he’d determined that the only thing he wanted in life was to be with her and to make her happy. And he was lucky enough that he had the Inner Circle to help protect her.

           Maybe her being back at Daily’s Place wouldn’t be so bad after all.

           “What’s going on down here?” came a voice from the other end of the hallway. His head jerked up, a spike of fear rushing through him. For a split second he was sure he’d heard Jack Perry’s voice.

           The fear gripping his chest relaxed when he realized it was just Tony. He was all smiles and tousled hair as he jogged toward them. Jericho smiled at his boss, glad that there was another line of defense for Kat.

           The Inner Circle parted just as Tony got close. Kat stood in the middle of the circle. She was wiping her tears on Santana’s tee.

           “Holy shit, it’s good to have you back,” Tony exclaimed excitedly. He tugged Kat into a hug that looked bone-crushing. “It isn’t right around here without you.”

***

           It was home. That was the only way to explain it. It was such a strange feeling, but for just a moment I wasn’t afraid of running into Jack.

           “Hi, TK,” I said quietly. He grinned.

           “Hi, Kat,” he replied. “We’ve missed you.”

           My heart swelled with a momentary pride. The truth was that I never really knew what I wanted to do with my life. I’d drifted back and forth trying to find who I was and what kind of job was meant for me. Being part of AEW was an accident in a way, a job to make ends meet until I could find something else. Something better. The whole thing had been Jack’s idea in the first place. It was a way for us to stay together while I figured out my life. I hadn’t planned on staying for so long. But being a part of AEW had been more than I could have imagined. I might have started out lugging gear and being a ring jockey. I might have been nothing more than a glorified intern, but it was like a family.

           “I’ve missed you guys too.”

           Tony took me by the hand and tugged me down the hallway toward the locker rooms. The moment we turned the corner, I felt his fingers tighten on mine. I glanced sideways to see him watching me with a furrow in his brow. Like he wasn’t sure how I was going to take being back.

           “I’m okay,” I assured him. “I’m okay.”

***

           Jericho trailed along behind Tony and Kat. Santana fell in beside him. The younger man clapped him on the shoulder.

           “It’s going to be okay,” he said confidently. “Nobody around here knows about mamí being knocked up except for us, TK, and the Bucks. We’ve kept it quiet, just like you told us to.”

           “Thanks, Santana,” Jericho replied gratefully. He kept his eyes on Kat just a few paces ahead of them. “Is it insane that I want to keep her in a bubble?”

           Santana laughed. “Nah. I pretty much wanted to the same with my girl. Hell, I wanted to do it with my little princessa too. It doesn’t get any easier.”

           “Great,” he replied sardonically. “Just what I need.”

           He watched as Kat settled a hand at the base of her spine as she walked beside Tony. Jericho couldn’t help himself. His first instinct was to rush to her, turn her around and go right back home to Tampa. She hadn’t done this much in months, and he was terribly afraid that she was going to be sick or hurt. He worried about the stress being back would put on her and the baby.

           “—know what it is yet?”

           The sound of Kat’s laugh drew him back from his thoughts. She was leaned in with her head just an inch or so from Tony’s shoulder. Her dark hair was twisted into a low bun at the back of her head and it bobbed as she tilted her face upward.

           “Yes,” she replied back in a soft tone. Tony leaned down, his ear just at her mouth. The younger man’s curly hair bounced as he leaned back, a bright smile on his face and dark eyes wide in excitement.

           A spike of jealousy rushed into Jericho’s veins at the sight. There were times that the age difference between he and Kat slapped him in the face. For what seemed like the first time, he realized that Tony was far closer to Kat’s age than he was. The two of them got along well. They looked like a pair with their hair almost the same shade of almost black. She had her hand tucked around the younger man’s bicep.

           For a moment, he watched as all of Kat’s attention was hyper-focused on Tony. She wore a smile that made everything about her light up. It sucked all the air out of his lungs as cascade of images coalesced in his mind. Kat with Jack Perry. Kat with Tony. With any one of the younger guys on the roster. But then she turned back toward him with a smile bright on her face, and the all was right in the world.

           Until the unkempt fluffy hair of Jack Perry appeared around the corner ahead.

________________

Tag List

@lilred91

@mariejr88-blog

@thenerdybaker523

@mrsmatt

@not-that-kinda-gurl08

@ryantaylorgirl

@daddyslittlevillain

@Rdhester1987

@spaghetti-hoop​

[wrienne]

My Cheating, Amnesic Fiancé

Chapter 36: Separation

Time passed. As March ended and April slowly trickled into May, you found yourself and Jungkook growing ever more apart. It wasn’t an intentional move on either of you two’s parts, or at least not a conscious effort. It just happened.

Jungkook stayed longer and longer in the dance studio, and he started coming home with a sore throat some days when he had decided to hum along to the choreography. He started singing and reading lyrics whenever he had time back at your parents’ apartment, and though you pretended not to pay him mind, you actually were. You liked his voice, pleasant and soft as it was, capable of soothing mind and body alike. And he was improving drastically with each week. Additionally, when Jungkook wasn’t dancing or singing or memorizing lyrics, he was away and exercising.

“I’m getting fat,” he had said one evening while he was reading webtoons in the extra bed.

You were editing your essay at the time, and didn’t particularly pay him any mind until just that point. “I don’t think so,” you said truthfully across your shoulder.

“I’ve gained almost five kilos.”

“How do you know?” you wondered as you spun about in your swivel chair, a frown etched onto your face.

“I got checked at the company today,” he said casually, still busy reading. “The guys agreed with the stylists when he told me that I need to lose some weight if I want to look good at the concert. Yi-Jae, too.”

“And I’m guessing you think so, too,” you stated, though you showed your disapproval of the fact by crossing your arms over your chest. Although you knew it was beyond selfish, you didn’t like the fact that Jungkook was counting Yi-Jae into the equation. You hadn’t spoken to her ever since the scene at the parking lot, and that hadn’t exactly been a great experience. You didn’t want to talk to her again, but you knew you had to. Sooner or later.

You hadn’t forgotten what she had told you before leaving that evening.

Jungkook shrugged. “Yeah,” he said. “And now I’m asking you. What do you think?”

“Don’t you think you have more important things to concern yourself with?” you asked instead.

You were well aware of the fact that idols needed to be skinny, girls much more so than guys. But you didn’t think Jungkook needed more things to worry about. Not when he still had a long way to go, especially within the dance department. Five kilos were something he could shed gradually with time - not something he should peel off of him in about a month.

“I’ll do it parallel with the rest.” Jungkook locked the screen of his phone and shifted around in the bed, so that he sat in eye level with you. “But I’ll need your help to succeed.”

You pursed your lips but then sighed, and Jungkook’s face lit up, having discerned the resignation in your gesture. “There’s a private gym for residents on the fifth floor,” you told him as you began rummaging through one of your desk compartments. “Showers, mini-saunas, equipment for weight and cardio, a wellness and relaxation room - you name it.”

You found the key card and began rising to hand it to Jungkook when he scrambled out of bed and took it. “Thank you,” he said with a grateful smile.

“No more fast food, I guess,” you grumbled.

“Sorry about that,” said Jungkook, his smile widening into a grin. “But you should start eating healthy, too.”

You shook your hand dismissively with your left hand as you turned back toward your desk. “My mom is subscribed to a healthy-eating delivery service,” you said as you started jotting down a memo on a stack of post-it notes you had next to your computer. “I’ll just lift the temporary cancellation for now.”

You heard him chuckle. “Shit, (Y/N). What would I have done without you?”

“I have no idea,” you said with a gloomy smile you knew he couldn’t see.

Thus, Jungkook was gone a staggering of five evenings a week, after first having dance practice. You didn’t understand where he got his energy from, but soon realized that it was willpower, and determination that kept pushing him to do what he found necessary to do.

Furthermore, Jungkook also met with Yi-Jae at times.

You tried not to think of it. You tried your very best. And eventually, the pain subsided, or rather, it melted into a dull ache deep inside your chest. But it was getting better.

At least you hoped it would.

Meanwhile, you were busy with your studies, and when you had an evening available for some free time, you booked it for a date with Jung-Hyun. He and you texted occasionally throughout the weeks that passed, and although his replies often were delayed by hours, you always got one. And frankly, his company was growing on you, despite the smoking that inevitably followed. You found it easier mustering a smile with each time.

He really wasn’t bad. But he and Jungkook both kept refusing to meet each other, and you didn’t think you could solve whatever was going on between the two.

After all, you didn’t know why they were so opposed to one another in the first place.

“(Y/N).”

It was another evening of quiet studying in front of your computer. You lazily stretched out your back and arms as you replied. “What is it?” you asked, your voice strained from the light exercise.

You heard footstep approach you. Jungkook soon appeared to your right, hair wet and torso and arms exposed and the rest… covered with nothing but a large white towel. The smell of hot skin, water and soap filled your nostrils and you tried to appear unperturbed at the close proximity of his half-naked body. You had gotten a lot better at fighting back your traitorous cheeks, but you still felt a most telling heat climbing up your neck and ears as Jungkook crouched slightly and leaned an elbow on your chair for support.

“I have an appointment Thursday next week, May 4th,” he said as he held out his phone before you, showing an official-looking email with the Asan Medical Center logo in the top right corner. “Regarding my splint. The doctor thinks I might be good soon to remove it.”

“That’s good to hear,” you said as you took his phone from him. “Let me read it. Use your hand to hold up your towel instead.”

Jungkook smiled crookedly. “It’s properly tucked in, I promise. There won’t be any nudity here.”

You rolled your eyes and used your other hand as a barrier for your vision so you might not catch something you had no intention of seeing. “You never know,” you said. “Better take the safe before the sorry.”

“I’ll get changed in the bathroom,” he said with a snort. “I just wanted you to know about the appointment.”

His presence withdrew, and you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding. The allure of his scent was just too much for you, for some reason. “Why?” you asked without turning around.

“Won’t you come along?”

You grimaced. “I can’t,” you said gently. “I’m meeting Jung-Hyun-oppa that day. He and I… we’re buying rings.”

It had been neither your nor Jung-Hyun’s idea to take that step. The first week of April, your parents had returned to Korea for a quick breather and to meet Jung-Hyun before they were forced to travel back to Japan. According to your mother, their business endeavors there hadn’t been fully successful, and would need more time before they came to a final conclusion. Though bittersweet, since he had to leave yet again, you certainly took it upon yourself to care for your father some extra before he left, not really seeing but rather sensing a new sort of weariness in his system. You didn’t like that your father was stubbornly continuing, but then, what else could he do as the chief executive of such a large company?

Again, it was the curse of riches, you reckoned.

Anyway, that was also the day when your mother dropped the not so subtle hint that she and Jung-Hyun and Jungkook’s mother thought you and Jung-Hyun should buy engagement rings. You thought it was early - she reminded you that you had been engaged to Jungkook almost as soon as you were eighteen.

You thought you perceived Jungkook taking a small breath before he responded. “Alright,” he said lightly. “I’ll manage by myself, then.”

You wanted to turn around and apologize, but you knew it would only worsen the situation. And this wasn’t exactly something you could cancel. So, when the fourth of May came around, Jong-Yeol took Jungkook to the hospital by himself. The former came later than usual to pick you up at the university due to that, and you were almost twenty minutes late to the meeting - date? - you and Jung-Hyun had agreed on about two weeks earlier.

He stood outside the jewelry boutique, wearing a suit as what you later understood was his usual attire. It wasn’t that odd of a sight anymore since Jung-Hyun had told you during one of your dates that he had been hired at Phoenix’s Seoul Headquarters. He was a striking figure, taller than anyone of the pedestrians walking past, with a well-proportioned body and wide shoulders. And as he looked in your direction and his brown eyes found yours, slivers of sunlight gleamed across his broad jaw and a gentle gust of wind caught his black hair, making up a heart fluttering image.

...For anyone that wasn’t you.

Perhaps, if circumstances had been different, you would have felt what probably any ordinary woman felt seeing him stand there, waiting for you. Because yes, he was attractive. On a purely observational standpoint, that was doubtless.

But he wasn’t… right.

There was something major missing when you held his gaze and smiled at him. Something major you had felt, and was still admittedly feeling. Something major your heart yearned for always and whenever. This discrepancy kept gnawing at your heart, despite your brain’s best efforts at looking at things reasonably and logically.

But your heart, stubborn as it was, yearned for someone else.

“Sorry I’m late!” you called as you sprinted the few remaining meters across the pavement. The weather was a lot milder now, and you wore nothing more over your regular clothes than a thin jacket and a scarf. “Lots of traffic. Did you wait for long?”

“No,” said Jung-Hyun, but you had a feeling he wasn’t telling the truth. He held up the door for you, and you entered, followed closely by him. The smell of freshly smoked cigarettes reeked from him, more so than usual, and you realized that although Jung-Hyun didn’t look the part, he was evidently nervous.

It made you smile a little as you walked inside. At least you weren’t the only one practically trembling in your shoes.

This would be the first time you bought rings for someone. The one you had given Jungkook and the one he had given you were bands your parents and his had purchased. So the event felt special - special, with a taste of bitterness at the end.

The jewelry boutique had a classic touch to its design and wasn’t particularly spacious, though you suspected it was a lot bigger behind the locked staff doors behind the main counter. A young woman approached you from behind mentioned counter wearing a fitted, matte gray dress suit, her brown hair tucked neatly into a bun on top of her head.

“Welcome,” she said sweetly, a bright smile on her lips. “How may I help you?”

“We’ve reserved a consultation for engagement rings and wedding bands,” answered Jung-Hyun curtly, seemingly oblivious to her smile. “I believe Jae-Min told you about me?”

You frowned. Who was Jae-Min?

“Oh!” To your surprise, the young woman quickly bowed, her eyes having widened at the mention of the name. “My name is Sang Su-Min, and I’ll be here for as long as you need me. Please feel free to ask me any questions concerning our rings.”

“We will look around first,” said Jung-Hyun, still unmoved.

Su-Min bowed again and meekly went back behind the counter. You followed Jung-Hyun toward a nearby locked display with various rings and raised your brows at him. “What was that about?” you asked quietly. “Who’s Jae-Min?”

“A friend of mine’s husband.”

“You sure know a few businessmen and women,” you commented. “First the owner of the Monarch and now this? How many more are you friends with?”

Jung-Hyun glanced down at you. “When you don’t have the money,” he began in a neutral tone, “you need to compensate with good connections.”

You frowned at him but he simply returned his focus to the display shelves. Your frown deepened. Even though you had spent more than a month now getting to know each other, the true nature of Jung-Hyun’s personality as well as his past was a mystery shrouded with more mystery. You noticed subtle differences, yes, but you didn’t think you had reached any deeper than the very surface of his demeanor. His disinclination toward initiating conversations and often unreadable expression told you he wasn’t that sociable of a person, but since he obviously had influential friends with affluence, too, you knew there must be more behind the stony guise he always bore.

You wondered when or even if you would ever get to witness it. With time, perhaps.

Perhaps.

“What about this one?”

While your mind had been busy whirring, your body had followed Jung-Hyun throughout the small boutique. He was standing at the shop center when he elicited your scrutiny, his gaze fixed upon a set of rings that seemed a little more special than the rest since they were in a separate glass cube.

“Which one?” you wondered as you bent in order to distinguish the details of the rings better. There were twelve of them in total, placed appropriately like the numbers in the face of a watch.

Jung-Hyun pointed. “Nine o’clock,” he said, apparently making the same observation as you.

Your eyes widened when you spotted the creation. The ring was a wonderfully simplistic piece, yet with enough minor details that it stood out if one took a closer look at it. “It’s beautiful,” you told him. “But it looks far too expensive.”

“Let’s hear it.”

Jung-Hyun beckoned Su-Min to come, and she darted forward, tablet in hand. “Yes?” she chirped.

“This one.” Jung-Hyun tapped the glass above the ring. “How much is it?”

She started tapping rapidly across the screen. “With the director’s discount and seasonal campaign that is going on right now…” She gracefully twirled the tablet in her hands so that the screen faced you and Jung-Hyun. “About fifteen million won.”

“That’s crazy,” you blurted. It was double the price your parents had paid for your engagement ring with Jungkook, and the choice of abstaining from spending any further had been that of your mother’s. “You can’t buy that.”

Su-Min gave you a quizzical look. “Oh,” she said. “I thought you were a couple.”

“We are,” you amended hastily before the situation could unfurl. Surprisingly, it rolled easily off of your tongue. The ache in your heart flared, but it was manageable. “But that doesn’t mean he should spend… how many months of salary now fifteen million won is.”

“Do you like the ring?”

You looked up at Jung-Hyun. To no surprise, his expression proved impossible to interpret.

“I mean, yeah,” you said as you went to scratch your arm, then stopped. “But it’s just a ring.”

His lips curved ever so slightly upwards and he turned toward Su-Min. “Do you have any matching wedding bands?” he asked.

“If you’re joking right now,” you interjected before she could respond, “I’ll have you know that I’m not amused.”

“Are any of us laughing?”

“No.”

“Then I’m probably not joking.” Jung-Hyun’s tone was final. “Please,” he prodded Su-Min, hinting that his earlier question never got answered due to your interruption.

Su-Min’s eyes darted nervously between you and Jung-Hyun, evidently nervous over your disagreeing, but she obeyed nevertheless. “Nothing so specific as to belong in the same designer line, no, but we have other brands with wedding bands that would fit exquisitely with your ring of choice. Would you like me to bring you a few to choose from?”

“That would be perfect.”

Suddenly, there was an unfamiliar warmth in his somber, stiff voice, which caused Su-Min to hastily bow, a light glow gracing her the apples of her cheeks, before scurrying back to the counter for a set of jingling magnetic keys. You were too annoyed to take especial note of it at the time, however.

But Jung-Hyun had a way with people, men and women alike.

“I see stupidity goes in the family,” you grunted, more in a sullen rather than a truly accusatory way. “But even Jungkook listens to me sometimes. I mean, since I’m supposed to have the ring, don’t I have a say?”

When Jung-Hyun’s eyes flitted over to yours, there was a strange look in his eyes. But then, he seemed to regather himself, and his features formed back into an emotionless slate. “Would you like a more expensive one?” he deadpanned.

“No thanks.” You almost slapped yourself in the forehead as actual annoyance sparked inside you. “Why won’t you listen?”

“What does an engagement ring mean to you, (Y/N)?”

You frowned at the odd inquiry. “Not a tiny, purely decorative item worth fifteen million won worth, at least,” you replied.

“I see.” Jung-Hyun’s mouth curved. “Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that an engagement ring is a priceless item. Therefore, the act of giving one away is also the most genuine gesture a human can make."

“Sure,” you agreed with a quick nod. “But then, why should the cost matter? Why not buy--” You flinched as Su-Min carefully walked past you and lowered your voice, “--a more… reasonably priced trinket instead of this… this ridiculous thing?”

“Because I want to show you just that.” Jung-Hyun’s eyes softened infinitesimally. “I do not intend to marry you solely for the sake of money and your family’s company, (Y/N).”

“That was… frank.”

He didn’t reply. He simply regarded you.

You averted your gaze. “Then why?” you inquired.

“For love.”

Panicking, you stared back up at Jung-Hyun in utter disbelief. You were too shocked even to laugh. He was steadfast, however, and nothing in his features hinted of his proclamation having been a joke.

When he didn’t immediately answer, you stepped closer to Jung-Hyun and kept your voice to a bare whisper even though Su-Min stood discreetly behind the counter, seemingly busy organizing rings on top of a dark blue velvet cushion. She must be waiting for you two to finish what must look like mere discussing about prices.

If only it were that simple.

“We don’t love each other,” you said simply, blushing at the mere thought of it. Love. Also, it sounded stupid saying it out loud like that.

“I admit I don’t see it in the near future,” said Jung-Hyun quietly, his lips tugging into a small smile. “But eventually, I hope this won’t be a sad, unhappy union between two people that care for nothing but wealth and influence.”

“I’m not like that,” you retorted, irritated at the mere suggestion.

“Would you marry against your parents wishes?” he wondered in a neutral tone. “Against the well-being of your company?”

You clenched your hands into fists. “No,” you muttered. “But that doesn’t mean I care for nothing but wealth and influence. This is my grandfather’s legacy - I can’t just disregard everything he and my father and mother have done. I can’t be selfish.”

Wasn’t this obvious? Why else were you standing in the shop picking rings with a guy you had only had a month - and a few occasional holidays growing up - to get to know?

“That’s another way to put it,” said Jung-Hyun calmly, clearly sensing your anger. “But when your family heritage equals money and power, what separates one thing from another?”

His argument reminded you briefly of Yoongi’s way of putting things. You felt as if though he had a valid point, but there was a critical point missing. And that was…

“My belief,” you said truthfully.

Jung-Hyun’s expression didn’t change, shockingly, but you thought you saw a glint of surprise or even admiration in his eyes. But then he blinked, and whatever it was, disappeared. “I see,” he said. “But I stand by my intention. Someday, I would like to love you.”

You felt your cheeks flare. Jung-Hyun carefully placed a hand on the crown of your head, and when he smiled down at you, it was with a timidness you had never thought would tinge anything Jung-Hyun said or did. The weight of his gaze remained the same, however, yet was mixed with such genuine determination that you almost had to look away.

For oh, how your heart sang in disharmony as he spoke his next words.

“And hopefully, you would do me, the same.”

Jung-Hyun withdrew before you could react, and glanced at Su-Min, who, appropriately enough, was looking in another direction, seemingly occupied with tapping in something on the tablet she carried. The conversation had progressed very silently from both you and Jung-Hyun, but even if she had heard bits and pieces, you would be mortified to talk to her.

“I understand your reluctance, (Y/N),” he continued, his stiff, somber voice unusually soft. “But I won’t risk bankruptcy because of this. I have a substantial amount of funds to draw from. I simply want the rings to match the prospect of our marriage.” Jung-Hyun found your gaze again. “Will you continue to resist, despite what I’ve told you?”

“I won’t,” you said apologetically as you tried to will your traitorous heart to quiet down. “I… I didn’t expect you to be so romantically inclined, to be honest.”

“I don’t look the type.”

“Definitely not.”

Jung-Hyun mouth formed that quarter-of-a-regular, wry smile you were starting to associate with him being amused before turning to approach Su-Min. “Are those the wedding bands?” he wondered as he drew up to the main counter.

She beamed up at him and then you. “Ah, yes. Miss, if you would take a look at them.”

Reluctantly, you, too, neared the counter. There, nine or ten wedding bands of varying degrees of design were spread across the dark blue velvet cushion. The engagement ring also lay there, and you felt an inexplicable pull toward it.

“Please, you may try any of them,” urged Su-Min. “Together with the engagement ring, of course.”

“They’re exquisite,” you said as you picked up the engagement ring. You held it up before your eyes, turning it around. It was beautiful no matter how the light caught the diamonds embedded into it. When you tried it on, heart trembling, the ring slid down your finger as easily as if it had been made for you, specifically. You couldn’t deny the impact that had on your breathing.

“Stunning,” said Jung-Hyun at your side, voicing your thoughts.

You nodded. Even though you didn’t exactly empathize with his stance on engagement rings, you started to understand it. The sensation you got from merely wearing the trinket was surprisingly strong. It was a sign of love and signaled a happy union, and that was a kind of beauty mighty enough to transcend the pleasures of flesh or infatuation.

No wonder some women - like Se-Eun - fantasized about their engagement rings starting from early childhood.

“I’ve picked a number for you to choose from,” began Su-Min sweetly, “but I think these ones in particular will suit the ring really well.”

She picked up two of the rings that were displayed on the cushion and offered them to you. You took the one she held in his right hand first, and though it was pretty, it wasn’t perfect. The second ring was, however.

“I think she’s decided,” said Jung-Hyun as soon as you put it on. “How much for the wedding band?”

Su-Min held up her tablet. “Five million won.”

“I’ll have both,” he said without even a shadow of hesitation.

You bit your tongue as Su-Min glanced hastily at you. When you didn’t verbally object, she nodded toward Jung-Hyun. “Of course. Miss, if I could have the rings back…”

“Oh, yeah, right.” You fumbled off the rings and handed them back to her.

She smiled. “A box for each?”

You exchanged looks with Jung-Hyun, but it was his silence that told you that it was up to your discretion. “Yes, please,” you told Su-Min.

“Just one moment, then.”

She put the rings in black velvet boxes the size of your palm, and finalized the purchase with Jung-Hyun. You were tempted to tear the skin off of your arm as his card was pulled, but you ultimately refrained, if only because Su-Min was there to see.

When they were done, Jung-Hyun received a long receipt with insurance policies and other things that he slid into his inner chest pocket. He then grabbed the structuralized plastic bag Su-Min had lowered the boxes into. “Thank you,” he told her.

She smiled, and then looked at you. “Have you had the time to pick out some rings for him, or was the appointment only for the Miss?”

You started to say “no” when Jung-Hyun cut in. “Yes. Number fourteen. Number sixty-two.” He pointed toward two different glass displays as he spoke, pausing between mentions.

Your eyes rounded. Although you recalled passing the displays by when you initially had arrived at the boutique, you hadn’t even been aware that he was actually, consciously browsing the rings inside. You had simply thought he was looking for the sake of looking.

When Su-Min returned to the counter with the rings Jung-Hyun had chosen, you saw that they matched him, or at least his outer appearance. Titanium, white gold and black diamonds arranged with a neat, simplistic design.

“How much?” you asked, feeling triumphant suddenly. This would be your bill to pay, and judging by how expensive your rings had been, his, too, should be at least in a nearby price range.

Su-Min tapped on her tablet. “That would be… nine and a half million won.”

“So, what, nineteen in total?” you wondered, fingers itching to make the buy, if only to even out the costs with Jung-Hyun.

Su-Min shook her head, however. “No. For both.”

You glared at Jung-Hyun. “Seriously?”

“Is it too much?” He looked about. “There were a few cheaper alternatives I had in mind as well…”

You groaned and waved him off. “Just take my card,” you told Su-Min as you procured it from your purse. “And buy these before he changes his mind.”

The small smile on Jung-Hyun’s lips didn’t pass you by, and if you hadn’t been as aggravated as you were, you would have smiled, too.

“Of course, Miss,” replied Su-Min. “Would you like a box for each of them?”

“Jung-Hyun-oppa,” you grunted without looking directly at him.

“Yes, please,” he told her.

And you could have swore that your peripheral vision showed that his smile grew wider just then.

Since he had office work yet to do and you had your studies, the two of you decided to part after that. While waiting for Jong-Yeol to arrive and pick you up, Jung-Hyun went around the nearest secluded area where he could smoke and you checked your phone for notifications. To your surprise, Jungkook had sent you a picture of his right arm, splint-free and pink, with a message attached.

*16.45 - Freedom! They told me to take it easy with the arm, but it’s technically fully healed and functional again. Time to see if I can take you in an armwrestling competition again.*

You snorted as you responded, but the smile that surfaced on your face was easier than air.

*17.58 - I never lost when we were children. Don’t even try to trick me. And I will not armwrestle your newly recovered arm, stupid.*

The answer came shortly.

*18.00 - Come on! Live up to your name, Miss Violent! When are you coming home, by the way?*

He seemed in a happy mood for some reason, and you couldn’t guess why. Or was it perhaps merely because of his arm?

*18.01 - Soon.*

*18.01 - Good. I have some news to tell you when I’ve finished working out.*

As you had guessed. You mused over what it could be while Jong-Yeol drove you and Jung-Hyun back to your parents’ apartment first. It wasn’t until he held it up that you realized Jung-Hyun had unpacked the box holding your engagement ring.

“Checking for scratches?” you teased even though your gut feeling already knew what he was doing.

“No. I was merely thinking we could exchange rings.”

You swallowed. Your suspicion had been correct. “This isn’t exactly the most romantic of places,” you said even as you produced Jung-Hyun’s engagement ring. “But why not?”

Jung-Hyun paused. “Do you feel pressured?”

“I mean, a little,” you admitted. “Why now? Why can’t it wait?”

“I have a lot of work this spring and summer,” he replied as he glanced out of the window. Your engagement looked so tiny in the palm of his hand, you almost couldn’t believe it was worth as much as it was. “I fear I won’t have time to meet you for longer than perhaps a lunch date every now and then. At least until autumn, and after that I’m still not sure I will have much free space.” He looked back at you, gaze softened. “Your mother gave me a most demanding job, I must say.”

You rubbed your neck. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t. There are very few things in this world I enjoy more than working.”

“Right…”

“I assure you, (Y/N).” Jung-Hyun gently put his hand on your head. The corners of his mouth tipped upwards a notch. “I really do enjoy it. Unfortunately, it is the people around me who suffers because of that.”

You felt a warmth spread across your cheeks. “I’m used to it,” you said in an effort to shrug the reaction away, however. “Mom and dad have always been busy.”

“I see.”

There was an odd look in his eyes suddenly. It took you a few seconds extra to register the sympathy in them, which felt really weird coming from Jung-Hyun. Not that you didn’t see him as a normal, fully functional human capable of emotion, since he obviously had displayed several already. But it didn’t exactly match his overall demeanor.

“Here,” said Jung-Hyun as he offered you your engagement ring.

“Oh.” You took it and gave him his. “Here you go.”

As both of you slid your rings on, you felt your face grow hot underneath Jong-Yeol’s curious gaze in the rearview mirror. Ignoring him, however, you smiled up at Jung-Hyun, hoping the shadows in the rear passenger seats would cloak your evident embarrassment. Wearing the ring filled you with a strange mixture of apprehension and satisfaction - and regret.

You swallowed. “Glad we didn’t have to readjust them,” you said casually to break the silence that had briefly had erupted in the car.

Jung-Hyun didn’t seem the least affected. “Agreed,” he replied as he relaxed into the seat, eyes shifting back to the scenery passing outside. “Let us keep the wedding bands until the day of the event.”

You stiffened. “Speaking of which,” you started. “When is that?”

“I was thinking this October.”

“In six months?” you blurted.

“Is there a problem?”

“I’ll still be in school,” you said. “I didn’t think I would have to marry until after university.”

Jung-Hyun’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Does it really matter when?”

You gulped. Glancing down at your balled-up hands, you saw that your knuckles were white from exertion, and you relaxed. Or at least, you tried to. “No, I guess not.”

“Then we’ll postpone it until after you have graduated.”

Your head snapped up and you stared at him in disbelief. If he noticed, Jung-Hyun didn’t address it, and the remaining ride home was quiet. After saying goodbye to both Jung-Hyun and Jong-Yeol, you headed up to your parents’ apartment, your stomach growling loudly as you entered the entryway. “I’m home!” you called.

Nobody responded.

Relieved with the discovery, you sprinted to your room. You hid the box with the wedding band in the deepest corner of your busiest-looking drawer before returning to the kitchen, heart beating rapidly as you gazed down at the remarkably familiar weight on your finger.

It was only two months and a half since you had bore another ring on that exact finger.

The engagement ring Jung-Hyun had bought you seemed almost alive in the way that it greedily either sucked up or reflected all the surrounding light. Your eyes caught several times on it as you maneuvered around in the apartment, going from having dinner to resuming on your essay. You were tempted to take it off, but knew you needed to get used to it.

And the strange feeling that accompanied it.

You heard the front door open a few minutes into your studying. “(Y/N)? You home?”

“Yeah!"

"Where you at?"

You took a deep breath before you went to the entryway. As soon as you spotted Jungkook, he grinned at you with so much glee that you were taken aback. He was newly showered, and smelled freshly of beauty products, yet the scent of him and him only managed to pierce through the air. You couldn't resist the relaxing effect it had on your body.

“Did you win at the lottery?” you asked as you leaned against the nearest wall, raising a brow.

Jungkook hung off his jacket, his smile merely brightening at your nonchalance. “Better,” he told you. “We’ve been invited to attend the Billboard awards! Nominated to a prize, no less!”

“You’re kidding,” you said simply, incredulous.

“I would never joke about things like this.” Jungkook kicked off his sneakers and headed toward the kitchen, gym bag slung over his shoulder. He dropped the bag on one of the bar stools and started tapping away at his phone. “Here, take a look!” he exclaimed as he offered you the phone.

As you reached out to grab it, you spotted Jungkook’s gaze linger on your hand. The pain in his brown, familiar eyes were sharper than a knife, and cut into your very being as well. But then, he blinked, and the agony was gone.

“Nice ring he got you,” he said, mustering a hasty smile that hurt you almost as much as the look in his eyes had. “How much was it?”

“Fifteen million won,” you said numbly, gripping Jungkook’s phone.

“You’re kidding,” he blurted, an echo of your former words.

You shook your head. “No. And the wedding band costed him five.”

“Shit. I could never--I mean, no, that’s… stupid.” Jungkook looked elsewhere, seemingly flustered. “Just check the screen, will you? It’ll prove my good news.”

You obeyed. It was an electronic document passed on from someone at BigHit, containing an official invitation to Las Vegas the 21st of May to attend the Billboard Music Awards.

“Can you believe it? And the director has already confirmed that we’re going!"

“Wow.” You gave him back his phone, now with a smile on your own face. Jungkook’s eagerness was contagious. “Congratulations! Really!”

He pocketed the phone, and then scratched the back of his head. “I know what your answer will be, but I’d still like to ask. Would you like to come with me? Use those, what, ten years of private english tutoring to some good use?”

Your smile widened, even though something within you fell. “I would love to come, but I can’t. Not with school being the way it is.” You lowered your gaze. “Sorry.”

“Please,” said Jungkook with a snort. “I’m glad you’re dedicated. Just don’t forget about me on your road to becoming a business tycoon.”

You raised your gaze. “Like you’d let me,” you muttered.

He smiled crookedly. “Like I’d let you.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you turned around, aiming to return to your computer. But Jungkook’s sentence caught you before you could leave.

“Also… the guys were thinking I should return to their dorms.”

“But what about the nightmares?” you wondered, spinning about. You selfishly had a thought that Jungkook’s absence definitely would be noticed and something you would miss, but it was concern that essentially drove your inquiry.

“I hope they’ve disappeared by now,” said Jungkook, though he sounded skeptical. “And even if they haven’t… I need to learn to be without you, for obvious reasons.”

“Right.” You didn’t know what further to add.

“So, I’ll be moving sometime before we head off to the States.”

“Finally.”

“Come on, don’t be heartless. You’ll miss me.”

“Nope.” Yes.

The next day on your way to your first class, Se-Eun practically pounced on you outside the head building. Although you had expected it, she still managed to surprise you as she pulled you aside from the walkway.

“Is it true?” she demanded, her voice trembling with expectation. She was wearing a lightweight, marine blue coat that was complimented by a dash of red across her lips and nails. “Are they really going?”

“Yeah.” You tried to peel out of the grip she had on your wrist, but it was iron, and so, unfortunately, was she.

“Do you even understand what this means? For them as a group? For the industry as a whole?”

“Se-Eun,” you reprimanded firmly when a couple of passerbyes eyed you curiously. “We have class in less than five minutes. Do we really have to take this right now?”

“Either now or during class, you choose.”

“You’re a terrible friend.”

“Then we’re two.”

When you realized she wasn’t going to budge, you gave up on getting away from her with a loud groan. Instead, you pulled her further away from earshot and got seated on a bench that was aligned with a walkway that lead to a road that was nowhere near as filled with traffic as the one you had arrived through.

“What do you want to know?” you asked wearily.

“Well, for starters…”

Se-Eun rummaged through her backpack until she found her phone. And when she showed you the image on the screen, you almost felt sick.

It was an Instagram post. Though a cup of cappuccino was in the center of the image, there also was, without a doubt, the profile of a certain twenty-year-old guy, partly covered by a black mouth mask and heavily out of focus. But you knew instantly who it was. And even if you hadn’t, the comments said plenty enough already.

And you realized who the photographer must have been.

“Is this who I think it is?”

You didn’t answer. The fact that the image was there, online, wasn’t in itself a bad thing. If the public knew about Jungkook and Yi-Jae’s relationship, that would probably help a lot in readjusting the former’s state of mind. It would also help boost up the media coverage surrounding BTS, especially in junction with the invitation to the BBMAs, and they wouldn’t even have to do anything special to return to the spotlight after two and a half months of hiatus, which had been their unspoken status ever since Jungkook’s accident.

This meant really that your plan was progressing smoothly. Yet, why did it feel like someone was clawing their way through your chest?

You simply stared at the picture, not caring about the fact that you probably looked possessed. Not caring about the fact that Se-Eun was waiting for a response. Not caring that class had probably already begun.

Jeon Jungkook. To what lengths would your heart always continue to yearn for him?

“It’s only a matter of time until the media is getting ahold of this. Do you know if they’re…” Her voice trailed away.

You nodded, once. “It’s true,” you said stiffly. “They’re dating.”

Silence fell around the bench. You couldn’t tear your focus away from the picture, however.

This was really happening. You had really allowed it to happen.

“I see you have a new ring on your finger.”

You slowly turned to face Se-Eun, heart pounding. You had managed to convince her that your engagement ring from Jungkook was a kind of family heirloom, something your mother had given you for your eighteenth birthday. You had thought she believed you.

But now that you looked into her eyes, you knew you had been a fool for thinking that. And Se-Eun seemed to sense it, too, for she gently put an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close to her. You allowed it to happen, despite your general attitude toward hugging.

You needed it.

“You’re really cute sometimes, you know that?” Se-Eun’s voice tickled your ear but you didn’t fidget. “I almost forget how young you really are, you know.”

“You’re one year older,” you said pointedly.

“One year and ten months, actually. I’m technically closer to two years older than you, (Y/N).”

“You sure don’t behave like it, grandma.”

She snorted. “How disrespectful. Have your parents ever told you how bad you are at addressing those that are older and wiser than you?”

“Actually, yes,” you said, holding up a finger. “Now will you stop choking me, please?”

“I’d better save that for your fiancé, right?”

You abruptly tore yourself away and gave her a disgusted look. “I… I think I need to wash my ears,” you joked, hoping to divert her attention from the subject she had brought up. “What the heck did you even mean by that?”

“I should have known you’re the wrong crowd for jokes like that.” Se-Eun giggled a little bit too mischievously. “Flew right past you, didn’t it?”

“We need to get back to class,” you said instead and stood up, glancing down at her phone which you still held. “We’re already late.”

“Uh-uh,” she said, shaking her head. “Not until you tell me about your Prince Charming.”

“Se-Eun,” you pleaded.

“(Y/N),” she parried in a similar tone and then patted the bench where you just had been seated. “Sit. This is far more important than having attended a few classes at university.”

“But it’s a really long story,” you tried.

“Fortunately for you, I don’t have to look after my brothers today. I can listen until it’s starlit outside, if you require me to.”

“I… I don’t know if I can tell you anything,” you said truthfully, a long exhale bordering your words. “There’s just so much - and I’m not sure you’ll understand if I tell you about the things that are affecting me solely.”

“Jungkook’s involved.”

She said it as if it were obvious. As your gaze and hers locked, you realized that there was not a single trace of jealousy or spite or betrayal in her eyes - but a startling amount of knowing. You almost couldn’t believe it.

“Yes.” It escaped your throat as easily as a sigh. “Yes, he’s very much involved.”

“And you want to protect him.”

You nodded, swallowing back tears.

“Well, I want to protect you.” Her tone was soft, carefully presenting words that felt as if though they had been weighing on her mind for weeks--no, months , even. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror these last two months? You look really, really exhausted, (Y/N). You barely eat your lunches with me, and you have these dark circles underneath your eyes that only seem to grow darker and bigger with each passing day. Sometimes, you don’t even look at me when I’m talking to you. Do you understand how worried all of this is making me?”

“I’m sorry, Se-Eun,” you said, voice cracking with tension. “I just… I’m just trying to make things right.”

“It’s killing you. No, really,” she added when you frowned at her. “How many hours do you sleep per night?”

You shrugged lifelessly. “I don’t know.”

“My point exactly.” Se-Eun let out an exasperated sigh. “(Y/N), if I cannot help you directly, at least let me share your concerns. That’s what bestfriends are for, you know?”

To your own surprise, your body sank down onto the bench again. After a deep, calming breath, you decided, and you decided to tell her everything. Everything that had happened starting from the day of the concert to where you sat then, and the reason for why you had a new ring - and had worn a ring ever since your eighteenth birthday. You didn’t leave out anything, deciding to mention even the smallest of details, your madly warring thoughts and ultimately also your plan to not tell Jungkook about your former engagement.

Anything and everything to lighten the burden of your shattered heart.

[wowwowokay2]

Talia, part 4/?

Week seven, day three, the first full day of Talia’s new commitment. She had spent the previous night planning out her selection of meals and snacks, increasing the frequency and sizes.

She started her work day by getting up at 6:30am, to start work at the department store at 8:00am and leave at 3:00pm.

Breakfast at 6:50am: Three bagels with peanut butter, a large orange and tea.

Snack #1 at 8:30am: It wasn’t her break time so she had to sneak into the bathroom and quickly scarf down her two granola bars and four double chocolate sandwich cookies.

Snack #2 at 10:30am: A simple snack of yet another granola bar, plus a rather generously sized mango.

Lunch at 12:30pm: Oh joy, someone brought donuts. Talia started off her lunch with an apple fritter and continued with her large whole grain bunwich with cheddar, swiss, chicken, tomato, lettuce and ranch. To finish off she stealthily snatched a maple crueller, and zipped out of the break room.

Snack #3 at 3:04pm: Work was over and she wasn’t really hungry but she checked the break room to see if any donuts were left and there were three.

She didn’t want to take more if anyone else wanted them, but there was no one in the break room. She had already forgotten who said they brought the donuts so she couldn’t even ask them. They are donuts for work, she thought. I am part of that, so they are free game. Just one before I go.

So she surveyed her options. There was a long john, a strawberry jelly donut and another maple crueller. I do love maple cruellers, Talia thought, as her fingers had already found the glazed ridges of the donut and she gently delivered it to her mouth. Sweet maple glaze and soft, lovely dough. She made a little sound of pleasure as she finished by licking her fingers off.

She wasn’t even thinking when she grabbed the jelly donut and took a huge bite from it. She only realized she had started to eat another donut when the brightness of the strawberry jelly burst into her mouth.

“Mm!” Talia said, bringing her hand up to her mouth, chewing the donut. “Oh.”

She didn’t mean to do that, she was going to leave some for her coworkers. But why not eat? A little voice teased her. Why not just eat them all? They are here for you.

Talia began to feel flustered as she swallowed and held her donut away from herself. God, I can’t get like this at work, I need to go. She quickly took two, slightly sloppy bites in secession and finished the jelly donut. The long john disappeared within her mouth and gullet just as fast, and Talia tossed the empty box in the garbage while still chewing.

The door to the break room opened and Talia glanced up to see Jocelyn enter, her bob was jet black and her features were gentle.

“Oh,” Jocelyn said. “Aren’t you done- uh.” Her words faultered as she looked at Talia, her round face stumped.

“Work? Oh yeah I’m done, just grabbing a little bite to eat before I go.” Talia replied.

“Y- yeah, you have a little.” Jocelyn gestured to a spot on her chin.

Talia wiped off a bit of jelly and licked it off her fingers. “Ah, thanks Lyn.”

Talia and Jocelyn said their goodbyes and Talia left work. As she made her way home with a happy palette and stomach, her mind went to work on her interaction with Jocelyn. Since the weather was getting warmer, Talia stopped wearing her sweater a few days earlier. She could not longer hide the physical effects of her weight gain and it was now apparent, as modest of a weight gain as it was, since she was no longer covered by loose fabric. And if anyone had taken notice of it, it was Jocelyn. She had been talking differently to Talia, and she would rarely make eye contact. Talia frowned to herself. Was Jocelyn judging her? The two weren’t super close friends, but nonetheless they were acquaintances-bordering-on-friends. Talia didn’t want to lose a friend. But she could be worrying for nothing. She probably was.

Snack #4 at 4:48pm: Talia had been home for a bit, and while she decided what was going to be for dinner she nibbled on another granola bar. They were alright, but Talia made a mental note to try and find a more appetizing snack, or at least more options for snacks in the future.

[sunghox99]

REGulate

Year: 20XX

Location: Seoul

Looking out at the pedestrians below, Sungho's gaze is fixed on them.  "Ants, they all look like ants," he thinks as he steps away with an unamazed sigh. He's approaching 50 now but could pass for early 30s. An advantage, more so in today's world. Retirement was on the horizon, but he was still on the grind to stay busy. The idea of a family was long gone, he had made due with his steady partner.

Sunhgo put his career first, which, though some may not agree with it, was his choice. Being VP of compliance and regulations carried a lot of weight and power. Other businesses had to adhere or face fines and penalties. Sungho was cutthroat, drawing much ire but also upholding an industry standard. Now he had almost encyclopedic knowledge of law, business, and human resources; he was a living book able to consult on these matters. Though he preferred to audit since it dealt less with legal matters or being accused of having a conflict of interest.

"Sir, the meeting will start soon,"

"i hope they're prepared this time," he replied, checking over the folder. There was more he could say, but he didn't. More so now that he was doing away with that roundabout speech. Sungho was softer with his partner, they were part of his personal world, not the one of business. He clicked the pen in his hand, a habit he formed long ago. The rumor was that it was for show, being made of gold, and it really didn't work.

______________________

The meeting lasted for 4 hours, a chore to get through. The company representatives wanted to block a merger from going through, but through legal means, there was little chance of them stopping it. Sungho was annoyed at the previous meeting since they had no plan to consider the worst, business was about feelings. At the very least, the company could admit that it would gain leverage from the merger to increase its own intellectual property. He advised that they have some members on the board with equal power so that even with layoffs, they wouldn't be totally shut out. There was a follow up meeting later that week to finalize their proposal, which gave off time to comb through it for any loopholes.

The documents were in a closed folder on his desk. Sungho was burnt out already, having tried to work on it, passing the time playing with the gold pen. He toyed with the idea of retiring early, but then what he do? He could be a university lecturer with more than enough experience, but he's been down that road. Consulting? He was an introvert at heart. He looked at his schedule, seeing a round of less intense meetings. He honestly wanted to go home, but work must be done. The knock at the door made him prop up and appear like he was busy before his assistant appeared.

"Sir, you have a call on line 3," they informed him.

His eyes narrowed for a moment, seeing the subtle nervous energy of his assistant, "Thank you," he replied as he picked up the phone as they left. What was this about? He didn't speak first, putting the pressure on.

"H-hello? Is this Reed?" the voice spoke in a shaky tone. His eyes widen, knowing this wasn't a business call. "Reed, Dad needs your help." Sungho dropped the phone trying to process hearing his merfolk name. Dad!? Does that mean the person is a sibling of his? Their voice did sound young. Why trouble was going on? He quickly composed himself hearing the person panic on the other end. “There is no Reed here. Don’t call again.” he replied then hunug up the phone. A cop out, but he knew that wasn’t going to be end of this. Sungho’s went to back to othe window. When he left Hanjeong it was on rather messy terms but he had no concern as he promised himself he would never return. When the truth of his origin was revealed, Sungho was in denial for a long time thinking it was a sick joke but over time the proof came making him realize he was part of species he was wholly ignorant about.  “No, I’m not going back there . . .no matter what.”

[carbon--14]

two years here! i started my first year on the gel before switching to injections, so i’m about at the 1.5 year expectation mark as well. some notable things from me:

hair changes. my hair is wavier, thicker, and coarser than it was pre-t. it’s also much oilier and i have to wash it once a day otherwise it looks like i haven’t bathed in a week.

i had scalp irritation in the early days of my hair changing. a LOT of it. your hair physically gets thicker and coarser very quickly and it can make your scalp not happy.

your skin will get oily as well. get some good quality face soap that won’t irritate your skin, you’ll need it.

my acne has been SERIOUS. i had minimal acne pre-t and now have breakouts all over my back and face all the time, despite washing my face twice a day and using a retinol face lotion to deal with the discoloration. i am seriously considering going on accutane once i get the OK post-op. this is largely genetic so it may not be an issue for you, i inherited it from my dad.

the stinkiness subsides after a while. in my early days the BO was awful by the end of the day even with deodorant. now that’s not so much the case.

i didn’t experience the vocal change pain, and my fatigue was milder, but still very much there. my voice is also still changing a lot and hasn’t dropped a ton, though.

METABOLISM CHANGES. i am hungry all the time. after switching to injections i was ABSOLUTELY RAVENOUS FOR PROTEIN to the point where i was eating peanut butter out of the jar and shredding costco rotisserie chicken straight out of the fridge for a snack. if you’re eating a lot more, don’t be surprised. your body’s going crazy.

the fat and muscle redistribution is a very slow process. you will not notice your changes until very far down the line. and keep in mind that t cannot fix bone structure— i have wide hips and always will. but my thighs have slimmed, my chest, shoulders, and jawline are broader, and i’ve started storing fat around my belly instead of my hips.

speaking of which, i have been going through periods of weight gain and loss that fluctuate! any physical activity causes me to lose weight and build muscle much quicker than before t, but then i lose it fast too. but i was the same way growing up.

i actually grew about an inch, somehow! i don’t think that’s common.

i didn’t get noticeable facial hair until recently and it’s patchy. if you’re looking for that, shave regularly. it’ll grow back in darker and thicker as you do.

as for the bottom growth and libido changes, they are some of the first things to happen and they are quite intense. as in, i was a sex-repulsed aroace before t and now i am not. the process is uncomfortable and weird. but also different for everyone!

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCE NOTICEABLE INCREASED ANGER OR YOU’RE BECOMING TESTY, YOUR DOSAGE IS TOO HIGH AND YOU NEED TO CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR. T SHOULD NOT MAKE YOU ANGRY ALL THE TIME. this happened to me when i upped my dosage from 2 pumps a day to 3 while on the gel. i would get pissed off and snap way easier than before, to the point where i was being a total dick to my mom. turned out that my t level was so high that my body was converting it into estrogen. this was actually why i ended up switching to injections. always be able to get in contact with a doctor and get your hormone levels checked every few months.

t gel is extremely uncomfortable if you have sensory issues, as it feels like putting hand sanitizer on your shoulders. it also has a cross-contamination risk so you need to be careful about who comes in contact with your clothes, bedding, etc. it’s also slower. it does work, but it takes much longer.

t injections are very easy and largely painless. i got training from my doctor on how to do it properly. takes 5 mins and i usually don’t bleed! personally i think subcutaneous is the way to go: smaller needle, less soreness, and you can do it in your stomach instead of your thigh.

hey. trans guys on T. can you tell me what effects i should expect. i need to know for reasons

[gainerstories]

Lifetime Supply: Chapter 6

Written by: Gainer Stories

Lifetime Supply is a collaborative story penned by Gainer Stories and Gaining Fiction.

Ryan held his breath as the numbers on the scale rose and rose. He had to peak over the curve of his belly to see the final numbers lit up on the screen. He weighed 237 pounds. Ryan’s jaw dropped. The last time Ryan weighed himself was when he was still with Jason about a year ago, and he weighed only 160 then. Was it possible that he gained 80 pounds in under a year? 

It all started with those goddamn Adesco boxes. Quickly he started doing the math in his head. He had received the first box about 10 months ago which meant he was gaining approximately 2 pounds a week. There was no way. Frantically, Ryan dug through their supply closet until he found an old mechanical scale. Brushing off the dust, he stepped on up. This one read 242 pounds! 

“Christ,” he mumbled to himself and gripped his belly in both hands. “I’ve really gotten fat.” 

Just then his phone rang. Ryan recognized the 800 number instantly, it was Adesco. He answered the phone and slumped on his bed with a bag of chocolates in hand. 

“Hi, this is Luke from Adesco calling. I wanted to check in on your most recent delivery. Was it satisfactory?” 

Ryan was pissed that this guy who stole his boyfriend seemed to be secretly getting off on fattening him up, and was ready to expose the wildly attractive little pervert. Why is that Jason gets to fuck this gorgeous guy even when he clearly has a thing for Ryan? Ryan went in for the kill.   

“Boy was it satisfactory, Luke. My god I think I polished off the whole thing in a day. Can you believe it?” 

“That’s great to hear. Adesco products are made to satisfy. We will get another box over to you shortly.” 

“Is it possible to increase the size?”

Luke audibly gulped, “Yes, we will send you our largest box.”

“And maybe increase the frequency as well? I’m a growing boy, Luke. Need my snacks.” 

“Sure,” Luke’s voice cracked. “Sure thing.” 

“Did you know I’ve gained 80 pounds since you guys reached out?” 

“That’s… impressive.” 

“You’re impressed?” 

“I… I’m happy you’re enjoying Adesco products. Your support is impressive.” 

“I’m getting pretty fat, you know. I can barely fit into any of my clothes. Maybe I should cancel all of this and get in shape.” 

“No!” Luke exclaimed and then quickly recovered, “I mean, Adesco would be saddened to lose you. Besides, you look great with the extra weight.” 

“How would you know that?” Ryan shot back. 

“Uh, I- I’m just surmising. Glad to hear you’re enjoying our products. Your next box will arrive on the 12th. Good day.” 

Luke abruptly hung up the phone and Ryan chuckled to himself, his belly wobbling in his lap. It was now more than clear to Ryan that Luke had a little kink that Ryan was scratching. If he played his cards right he was confident he could steal Luke away from Jason. Wouldn’t that be some karmic justice? But first, he had a date. 

Antoine, the cashier at the clothing store, had very awkwardly asked him out after Ryan’s last visit. Antoine was more Ahmed’s type, but who was Ryan to turn someone down? He hadn’t gotten laid in ages and twink or not he was ready to pound it out. Getting dressed, Ryan threw on an old shirt from Antoine’s store. It was a little snug but he was past the point of trying to conceal his weight gain. The belly announced itself whether he liked it or not. 

Antoine was already at the bar when Ryan arrived. He was fidgety and nervous, but eventually the two fell into a comfortable small talk. Ryan was on a mission to fuck so he kept the booze flowing for a little over an hour before suggesting a nightcap. Antoine eagerly accepted, but suggested they stop for fast food first. Ryan patted his belly at the idea. Who was he to turn down more food? 

At the drive thru Antoine ordered far more than Ryan asked for or anticipated. There was no way this little twink was going to be eating very much, and Ryan’s suspicions were aroused. Could it be? Another closet feeder in the midst? Was this common for bigger guys? Ryan brushed those thoughts aside and stuffed himself silly. 

By the time they arrived at Antoine’s place, Ryan felt like a blimp. He hadn’t stuffed himself to that capacity in a few weeks, but Antoine kept encouraging him to eat more so he complied. Antoine even massaged his belly to help with digestion. It was a little odd at first, but it did help, and frankly was arousing. 

As he wobbled to Antoine’s bedroom he heard a roommate whisper: “My god he’s fat.” Ryan didn’t care though. He was drunk and tired and horny. Ultimately, the sex with Antoine was mediocre and Ryan left the next morning feeling rejuvenated but like he still hadn’t quite scratched that itch he needed. 

What Ryan wanted was Luke. Jason’s Luke. Luke with the broad shoulders and bubble butt. Luke with the snack packages and the oddly adorable investment in Ryan’s waistline. The more he thought about it, Luke was kind of a catch. He was practically chiseled from marble and supported Ryan’s overeating. What more could he ask for? 

Returning to the apartment, Ryan’s stomach began to growl at the smell of eggs and bacon. He prowled through the kitchen but didn’t see any leftovers. That was odd. Cory and Ahmed always made extra for him. He followed the smell to the living room where the couple was chowing down on the couch. 

“Damn, thanks for sharing,” Ryan quipped. 

“Dude we thought you were too busy pounding twink. How was it?” 

“It was alright, one and done situation though. You for real didn’t make any extra? I’m starving.” 

“Honestly man, we’re a little concerned about your weight lately. You’re stacking it on like crazy, just wanna make sure you’re doing okay.” 

“Aw come on, it’s not that bad,” Ryan could feel his face flush red. “Besides you’re not looking so skinny yourself, Ahmed.” 

“I’m not judging, just looking out is all! There’s leftover pasta in the fridge if you want.”

“Yeah yeah,” Ryan headed towards his room. 

“Hey, Ry!” Ahmed called out. 

Ryan turned around. 

“You might wanna retire that shirt, tubs.” 

Ryan looked down and realized for the first time that his overhang wasn’t covered. His face flushed red again as he flipped Ahmed the bird. 

“Whatever man,” Ryan mumbled to himself as he laid down in bed, “this belly has more fans than you know.” 

Ryan launched Instagram and navigated to Jason’s profile. He scrolled until he found a photo with Luke in it. It was tagged and he opened Luke’s profile. It was the same glossy style as Jason’s, all travel and yoga and nature. Ryan rolled his eyes and tapped the message icon. What would he say?