#check him out! he does Pokémon nuzlocks!!

[the-anonymous-club]

Here’s an icon I did for my brother: AboveAvgJoe14 on Twitch! Go check out his streams!💖💖

[levelzeo]

Level Zeo's Brilliant Diamond Nuzlocke - Part 5

Hello there my friends. Glad you could join me again for my Nuzlocke updates, where I talk about both the details of my Nuzlocke and the personalities and relationships I come up with for my Pokemon. If for some reason this is the first one of these you're seeing, or maybe you missed a part, you can check out parts 1, 2, 3, or 4, and then come back here. Go on. I'll wait. Just for you. Once you're ready, let's get into things!

Current Team

Simmer the Monferno

Boof the Bibarel

Doc the Golbat

Petard the Geodude

Orion the Luxio

Puddle the Psyduck

Boxed Pokemon: 6

Deaths: 1

Badges: 2

With our second badge obtained, I am able to cut my way through the trees blocking the Galactic Building.  My team would definitely all be in agreement that the stolen Pokémon must be returned to their friends and families.  With resolve in their hearts, we enter this den of evil.

For a den of evil, they kind of just let us walk in.  Sure there are Grunts who attack us, but they aren’t really a threat, and at least half of the Grunts just stand there and talk to us.  Between this and the Grunts in the Windworks not knowing what the plan is, Galactic seems like a poorly run organization.

While we fight our way through the building, Boof has apparently developed enough Friendship that messages begin appearing during combat.  I find it telling that the first one is “Boof seems worried about battling well”.  Boof has been an invaluable member of the team thus far, but she knows that Bibarel have never been known for being the strongest Pokemon out there.  The time may soon come where she needs to be replaced.  Whether that means just going to the box, or something else…

I’m more pleasant news, Doc has also grown in friendship!  While he is still not fond of Simmer, he has taken great joy in traveling and fighting with the team, and taking out the incompetent Galactic Grunts makes him happy enough to evolve into a Crobat!

With the newly evolved Doc, we make it to the top of the Galactic building where we find the city’s bike salesman failing to confront another Galactic Commander.  We have no choice but to take them on ourselves!

Against Commander Jupiter, the first enemy is a Zubat.  Boof is easily able to take this one.  A first Rollout brings Zubat into the yellow, and a Poison Fang barely does anything in return.  The second Rollout is more than enough to win.

Second up is Skuntank, and Simmer steps up to the plate for this one.  He begins with his usual move, a Power Up Punch.  It does less than anticipated, and Skuntank is able to land a Poison Gas.  Summer feels his nerves creeping up on him.  This won’t be as easy as his last few fights.  A second punch does more thanks to the attack boost, but a held berry means that Skuntank still won’t fall to the next attack.  Snarl from the skunk does a small amount.  The next turn features a third punch and a Flamethrower from the Skuntank.  No single attack has dealt much to Simmer, but alongside the poison damage, the Monferno is beginning to sweat nervously.  One final punch takes out the opponent.  And then Aftermath kicks in.

It’s a close call.  If Simmer had been a level lower, or a single one of the Skuntank’s attacks had dealt a little bit more, my starter would have been done for.  We got lucky this time.  Simmer is able to survive the Aftermath damage, and the battle against Commander Jupiter is won.  The Monferno is definitely deeply shaken by the experience.  Petard tries to calm him with some light jokes, but I think Puddle’s more meditative approach works better. Even so, it is not an experience he will be able to get over easily.

With Jupiter defeated, the Galactic building is completely evacuated, and the bike salesman is saved!  We leave the abandoned facility and get ourselves a bike, as well as an Exploration Kit, giving us access to the Grand Underground!  I would do more with it, but upon entering my first cave, I run into a Bidoof that's a few levels higher than my team, so I decide it would be safer to leave and level up more before finding a my unique encounter.

With a bike in our pocket, we travel south down the cycling road, fighting off the cyclists who try to get in our way.  Before moving on, I make a quick stop on Route 206 to find an encounter.  I end up with Sundancer the Ponyta.  She has a Sassy nature and Likes to Thrash About.  She’s a wild child, enjoying nothing more than showing off her speed and power.  She’s also one of the few fire types I can get in this game if I understand correctly.  I put her in the box, hoping I will not need to make use of a replacement fire type…

Continuing the journey, we enter Mount Coronet.  Shortly after making my way into the mountain, I run into a strange man named Cyrus, who I’m sure is not important at all and will never come up again.  He muses about the creation of the world and the concept of strife for a bit before moving on.  I don’t know what he is on about, but he’s certainly right about this being a special place.  Being in these tunnels, within such an ancient mountain, it awakens something within my earthen party member.  Petard evolves into a Graveler!

Also, while we walk through Mount Coronet, I get another new encounter.  Ziz the Meditite has a Careful nature and is Somewhat Vain.  Similar to Puddle, she has been spending her time meditating to hone her abilities.  But they are not the same.  Ziz believes her physical and psychic abilities are meant to exceed those of all others, that she is a chosen one.  I imagine that she acts very calm about being put into the box, but inside she is filled with outrage over this injustice.

Exiting Mount Coronet onto Route 208, I discover that I have already caught all of the evolutionary lines that can be caught in the grass here, so I look up where I can get a Good Rod to fish instead.  It looks like I’m lucky, because there should be a fisherman right after the next city, Hearthome, who will be giving out fishing poles.

I enter Hearthome city, a place I will probably want to explore more later, but for now I just make a quick visit to the contest hall so that the path to Route 209 will open up.  However, on my way to the Route, I am ambushed by Melvin, my rival.  I completely forgot to heal after arriving here in Hearthome, so I am terrified.

Turns out I had nothing to worry about.  My rival is a chump.  Puddle beats Starly with one Water Pulse.  Simmer beats Roselia with one Flame Wheel.  Orion beats Prinplup with one Spark.  And Petard beats Ponyta with one Bulldoze.

With Melvin put squarely back into his place, I am able to go to Route 209.  There, I pick up my Good Rod, and I decide to get an encounter in the grass before going back to 208.  I end up finding Soleil the Mime Jr.  She has a Sassy nature and is Strongly Defiant.  She is a performer, a purveyor of entertainment, and one who demands to be the center of attention.  If I made her a member of the team, I believe she would demand to be the primary fighter in every fight, type advantage or not.  Into the box she goes.

Over on Route 208, I go fishing and end up with a Barboach.  Her name is Wiggle, and she has a Relaxed nature and a Sturdy Body.  I picture her as the silent type, conveying her thoughts solely through facial expression and the way she wriggles about.  There is a mad scramble to get her in the ball as she brushes off blows from the team, but once she is caught she goes to the box without any objection.

But those two aren’t the only Pokemon I catch!  I go back down into the Grand Underground now that I have a few more levels under my belt, and after wandering around for a while seeing Pokemon I’ve already caught, I encounter a cave of glittering gemstones, and drifting between them is a single Duskull.  I catch him, and name him Vex.  He has a Serious nature and is Capable of Taking Hits.  An older gentleman, Vex treats the trainer-pokemon-team dynamic as one would treat getting hired at a new company.  He’s all business about the whole operation, no time for games or relaxation.  I send him to the box, but I feel I might need his typing on the team soon, despite his abrasive personality.

One last thing before I end this update.  I pick up an egg being given for free in Hearthome.  I don’t know what it contains, but I temporarily swap out Petard so I can carry it until it hatches.  It sucks to put Petard in the box, but I don’t think he will be much help in the next two gyms anyway.  Speaking of which, my hope is to make it to Veilstone and challenge the Gym in the next update, so look forward to it!

[legendtraineremily]

Pokémon Yellow Nuzlocke!

(Reminder: These days occurred late July 2023)

Day 11

Celadon City—the Las Vegas of Kanto (or ya’ know, the shopping and Pachinko-filled areas of Tokyo if we’re gonna get into exacts and technicalities). Shopping at the department store, getting all sorts of info and things from the condo’s, gambling away in the Game Corner for prizes that aren’t allowed in this play through, a gym full of lovely ladies and their Grass-types, it’s got it all. However the one thing it has that I can’t stand is a large concentration of Team Rocket members due to their main hideout being inside the above mentioned Game Corner. But that’s something we can take care of pretty easily given our power team. Let’s check-in on them, shall we?

Pikachu/Zippy-Lv. 28

Mike/Hypno-Lv. 27

Nidoqueen/Lily-Lv. 27

Weepinbell/Belle-Lv. 27

Diglett/PlowBoy-Lv. 24

Charmeleon/Crispy-Lv. 20

We’re in good shape so far, I’d say. There’s always room for improvement and growth. I mean we are barely to halfway through our gym challenge on the way to the Pokémon league. Although we could always use another gift Pokémon for the road.

Gift Pokémon—Eevee/Veebee

Lv. 25

Hp: 67

Attack: 39

Defense: 33

Speed: 33

Special: 38

You see this, Gary? I got my own Eevee now! It’s already at level 25 which does limit the moves it will learn if and when I evolve it but not too badly in the case of Flareon but he gets shafted in his stats. Oh well, for now he gets to stay safe in the box. Next on our to-do list is going shopping!

Now if you ever meet me in person, you’d learn that I’m a habitual window shopper and, at times, a terrible impulse buyer. Going into a virtual shopping center with basically unlimited cash would be dangerous were it not for my list: a Leaf Stone, a few more Potions, a couple more Great Balls, and a drink from the vending machine for the Saffron City guards. I would typically grab a whole bunch of revives too, but we are in a Nuzlocke and so fainting=end of fighting career. Oh! I need to sell off and store a few items so I have enough room in my bag (curse you limited programming!). Okay, we’ve got the items we needed and now it’s off to the gate between Route 7 and Saffron.

Here’s a bit of Fresh Water for ya dude. Next time, bring some with you to work so you don’t get dehydrated! (And that goes for all you lovely folks at home too. Drink your water!)

While we’re here, let’s take a moment to check out the Pokémon Center and the local Mart then head over to the Fighting Dojo. You may remember I mentioned getting a more reliable Fighting-type in the form of the kick master Hitmonlee? Beating the meat-heads in here will gift us the chance to grab one! First up and…oh. Right. This is supposed to be a challenge for a little later in the game’s progression. First guy has Lv. 31’s against Mike who is still Lv. 27. No matter! We’ll take him out and get back on track to where we’re supposed to be—back in Celadon to beat the gym and take out the Team Rocket base. After an only theoretically tense battle (Psychic once again proving its Gen 1 cheese here), I’m out to head back to Celadon. And here I’ll save and start up again after some family fun this weekend.

Day 12

Back to the fun of Pokémon Yellow! Today is the day we take on Celadon Gym and Erica’s Grass-types. Excuse me, Grass/Poison-types! This makes it much easier for me, as Crispy won’t be the only one with a significant type advantage.

These Gym Trainers are providing the perfect opportunity for Crispy to level up a bit; well I should add “for the most part,” since they keep throwing the various status powders around all crazy-like. Stun Spore here, Sleep Powder there; oops, looks like another Poison Powder made me use my last Antidote on hand so I’ll have to grab more. It’s a bit tedious yet still giving ample EXP. Now onto the Leader, Erica. She starts out with a Tangela which is met by Crispy—ready to start burning the whole gym down by this point—and all goes as expected. Her Pokémon goes for a Bind and halts my movement but not the momentum! The Bind breaks and Crispy fires off (ha) an Ember attack to finish the pile of vines, that is Tangela. Next up is her Weepinbell and I keep Crispy out for this. He’s 6 levels under but should be able to do some good damage before switching out. …okay that Wrap wasn’t fun but Crispy deals a nasty critical Ember that manages to inflict a Burn! With that in mind, let’s use the only Potion for the battle and heal up Crispy. A little Wrap won’t hold us forever! Especially when I just need to wait out the Burn damage to end the Weepinbell. Now we’re onto the final Pokémon, Erica’s Gloom. This thing may be problematic due to its stronger attacks in Petal Dance and Acid. I’ll try to get another Burn on it and make this a battle of attrition again. The Ember hits but no such luck with a Burn. And the Acid makes things more dangerous by lowering Defense. Eh, I’ll be fine.

No, not fine! Erika finally goes for a Sleep Powder and I’m not chancing Crispy on those kind of odds, so I’m switching to Mike to finish this thing. Confusion isn’t doing as much as I need it to but I can make it! Or maybe I get hit with a few Acids, have defense drop twice, be put to sleep, then have the Gloom start up a round of Petal Dances. Now Petal Dance is one of the moves that gets set and only ends when either the Pokémon faints or gets confused from fatigue. I don’t think Mike will survive another hit so I almost start to panic wondering who could switch into a nasty Grass-type move and not only survive but be able to finish the fight as well. Then I see Belle, who would be mostly unaffected by Grass moves due to her Grass/Poison typing. And with a move like Wrap, I can put the squeeze on Gloom and end this battle. Finally.

With the Rainbow badge in hand, it’s time to take down the Rockets and their base under the Game Corner. I heal up and press the “secret” button to enter the Lair of Team Rocket. And dang, these guys are a breeze compared to the gym trainers! I forgot how much of a difficulty drop they are. Then again it makes sense in the context that they are supposed to be all around horrible trainers in-universe.

On the other hand, I’m doing well enough with my team that PlowBoy decided this was the time to show these rubes how to be a big battler and evolve into a Dugtrio! Go forth PlowBoy! Show this pitiful Grimer your awesome-oof! Oh, that wasn’t even fair. PlowBoy, buddy, a critical, super-effective Dig attack is almost overkill. Almost. Keep it up for the most part, dude. Oh! And another crit Dig on the Koffing! So much destruction! The Poké-manity! …cool.

Let’s see, we’ve got the Lift Key for the elevator now and we’re just cleaning up some resistance from the Grunts before taking on Giovanni, Team Rocket’s leader. And of course, before we can get to Giovanni, we have Jessie&James to beat up again. Nothing hard, though Meowth’s PayDay attack was a little annoying (and yet rewarding). Giovanni should be a piece of cake as well. At least his Onix and Rhyhorn will be. I’ll send Belle out to take care of those Rock/Ground Types. My worry, as it pops out of its ball, is Persian. Persian has a high speed and thus a deadly critical hit chance. I’m sending in the big guns, aka Lily, to Double Kick it into the dirt. And as expected, the crits are painful. Lily can take it I’m sure but that last PayDay put us into the warning zone of health. Not quite red but I don’t even like orange when it comes to a nuzlocke. I’m taking all precautions here not to lose any other Pokémon!

Giovanni leaves in defeat and conveniently drops the Silph Scope for us to pick up. Now we can head back to spooky town and head on up Pokémon Tower and its many ghostly inhabitants. Speaking of which, here’s my rival again!

Okay dude, you really need to give it up already! I’ve kicked your butt, what, 4 times already? Stop it. Get some help.

And again he leads with the bird, this time an evolved Fearow. No matter, Zippy’s got this in Spades. Zippy zapped and Fearow fried. Next is Shelder. A Vine Whip from Belle takes that down in a single hit. He sends out his Vulpix hoping to cook my Weepinbell but no such luck for him; I’ve got my Dugtrio on standby. No little fire fox, you may not act scary and Roar—Gen 1 doesn’t allow that. Belle take out the Sandshrew and Lilly uses the Eevee for punting practice. So, no dude, I really don’t think that you had to “go easy” on me. Feh.

Continuing onward and upward, we now enter the realm of spirits and spooky things. At least that’s what Zippy seems to think. I, however, have a Silph Scope and two Pokémon that can easily handle the Ghost/Poison Ghastly and Haunter here. Although I can’t seem to get any to app-

Pokémon Tower Encounter—Haunter/Freddy

Lv. 20

Hp: 50

Attack: 28

Defense: 25

Speed: 45

Special: 56

If only I had the two things I needed to make you useful, my macabre friend—someone to trade with to evolve you and a way to make your Ghost-type be reprogrammed to work like it was intended in this game. Alas, no such luck and Freddy is stuck haunting Box 2 in the PC.

I’m getting tired and it’s getting late, so I’m closing out for the day. Love y’all, and stay safe!-Emily

[mattoyaki]

⚔️ Pokemon Sword Nuzlocke (Part 4) ⚔️

Parts One, Two, and Three are here

My roommate tested positive for Covid, still waiting on my results...what a life. Let’s get our 5th gym badge shall we?

Gym Challenge 5 - Opal

This gym challenge is really dumb imo. It asks very easy questions with a few not so trick questions and it gives you boost in battle just for getting them right? I guess they tried to make it creative...

The battle itself was easy, BeardBro handled it all himself. Very easy....so uh...yeah. I got the Fairy Badge with minimal efffort. Let’s move forward!

Hammerlocke

The scene with Opal and Bede is probably the only interesting cutscene in the entire game...

More dialogue with Sonia and Leon with an explosion but don’t worry just continue your gym challenge that’s the most important thing!

Before moving forward I’m gonna head back to the wild area to catch some more Pokémon! I box BeardBro now that GurrenLagann knows heavy slam and bring Stuff’n back to the team.

Wild Area - Dusty Bowl

I run into the grass and encounter...an Applin?Definitely wasn’t expecting that but I’ll take it!

Turns out Applin is basically useless until it evolves, which isn’t exactly easy. According to google the only guaranteed to way to get a Tart Apple is to give your Applin away to an NPC...and the odds of me catching another one are slim. I’ll check out the Battle Cafes in Motostoke and Hammerlocke to see if I can’t get one as a reward.

Hammerlocke is a dud. Let’s try Motostoke...

No luck at Motostoke either, sorry Wormy, looks like it wasn’t meant to be. 😭 Apparently I can farm for one in Axew’s Eye after getting the bike upgrade so maybe it’ll work out later Wormy! Boxing him for now.

Continuing on my catching/training montage...

Wild Area - Giants Mirror

I catch a Dottler here which just doesn’t hit the same as Applin...

Dotty (Dottler) Lv 29

Rash Nature; It’s very finnicky

As I train Stuff’n evolves into Bewear.

A little more training and now onto Route 7 to contribute to Hop’s depression!

Route 7

Once again I demolish Hop and GurrenLagann evolves from the battle.

Side note: I feel like Galarian Golurk was a huge missed opportunity....but that’s just me.

Liepard immediately attacked me upon reaching the grassy area, welcome to the team Pusé

Pusé - (Liepard) Lv. 37

Lax Nature; Proud of it’s power

Route 7 isn’t nearly long enough to be considered a route imo.

Route 8

Route 8 kinda makes up for how short 7 was..

Togedemaru is my first encounter here, but Sombra lands a critical hit and knocks it out. I’m not too tore up about it.

Lots of Gurdurr here and too tight of corners to evade them. I had a close call when one landed a Dynamic Punch on Sombra.

Oooof, I lost my first Pokémon....to sandstorm no less. In a double battle Perrserker managed to get off 5 fury swipes leaving TootieFruity with 4 HP, leaving her in sandstorm range before I had a chance to heal her. RIP TootieFruity, you served me well!

I’ll be replacing TootieFruity with Microdose for the time being.

Part two of Route 8...does this count as a new area?? I’m gonna say no and continue onto Circhester.

Circhester

The music in this town is a vibe. After chilling for a while listening I head to the gym!

Gym Challenge 6 - Gordie

I love this gym design, gives me Sootopolis vibes and Toph Beifong would appreciate it.

Gordie didn’t stand a chance against Microdose and Sombra. Microdose took care of Barbacle and put Shuckle to sleep with Spore, allowing Sombra to come in for the sweep. And with that, I now own the Rock badge. Meaning I can now evolve my pokemon a second time!

After the gym there’s some more dialogue with Sonia, yay.

Ya know the story of this game has a lot of potential but the narrative style that’s always like “oh but don’t worry, just finish your gym challenge!” really gets in the way of it. With the lore of the Galar region I feel an evil team like Team Plasma could’ve helped a lot. But no...let’s focus on the gym challenge and make the villains a group of fan boys 🤷‍♂️

Hop challenges me to a battle cause he’s a secret masochist and we’re teleported to Route 8 cause making a city background on the switch is hard :/

Stuff’n and GurrenLagann have great synergy together, though Corviknight did pose a bit of a problem cause the threat of Drill Peck wouldn’t allow a safe switch into SpicyNoodle.

Sorry Hop, not today.

Now on to my absolute least favorite part of the game....Spikemuth.

Route 9

My first encounter here is one of my favorite Pokémon, Mareanie! I named him Spike and boxed him for now.

Spike - ( Mareanie ) Lv. 41

Sassy Nature; It’s very finicky!

Sombra evolves into Inteleon, finally at level 52!

More team yell shenanigans....did gamefreak really not make enough models they had to make the guy that fixes your bike a Doctor? Wack.

Now that I have the bike upgrade I’m returning to the wild area to check out a few areas i haven’t had access to.

Wild Area - Lake of Outrage

Learned the hard way this area is still too high level, but I managed to take down a Turtonator with GurrenLagann.

Did more training and Witch Bitch evolved into Hatterene!

Wild Area - Axew’s Eye

I checked the tree in the Axew’s Eye for Tart Apple and wouldn’t you know, there is one! Swapping out Microdose for Wormy and evolving him!

Gonna train up my new team a bit and call it a night!

Part 4 Recap

Current Team:

Sombra (Inteleon) Lv. 53, SpicyNoodle (Centiskorch) Lv. 50, Wormy (Flapple) Lv. 49, Stuff’n (Bewear) Lv. 47, Witch Bitch (Hatterene) GurrenLagann (Golurk) Lv. 48

Boxed:

Graveyard:

TootieFruity (Steenee) Lv. 41

Final Note:

One casualty but still feel pretty mehh about the difficulty. Even with the restrictions and challenges I placed on myself like gym badges and evolving ive found this game is still very easy. The shared experience is definitely an undermine to the classic Nuzlocke run. Either way I’m enjoying the run and it’s getting down to the nitty gritty. I’ll pick it back up tomorrow, and possibly finish?

[cloudbatcave]

Cloud Plays White: Finale

This is a long one, folks, since I realized I had a bit in my notes I had forgotten about and only found after I posted this, lol, so I have now edited it in.

when we last left off I was criticizing Alder for being useless in apprehending Ghetsis and Iris for not just taking me to Drayden’s house herself when it is Right Fucking There. 

So I’m still futzing around Opelucid here.

“No way, without pokemon, I’ll be lonely and sad! …but am I just using my pokemon, then?”

wow, seems there’s some brain cells there after all. you keep exercising those, brah.

I run into a guy who thinks that it’s okay for team plasma to take pokemon from weak trainers, even though he considers himself one and feels bad for the people they rob.

There’s another dude in the same room who used to be part of team plasma but left because it was weird for him that everyone thought the same way.

See, I appreciate this part of the game’s writing - I wish there was more stuff like this, people who are conflicted and their viewpoints being front and center instead of the simplistic garbage we’re fed by Iris and Alder and company.

Though there’s an absolute nut job who says that despite the years he’s trained with his pokemon he’ll let it go if it makes it a perfect being and I am just not even gonna unpack all the lunacy there.

There’s a kid who thinks that just because N has the legendary pokemon, he must be the hero.

I am very concerned about everyone in Unova being so gullible.

“Your Scrafty looks like it can try a little harder.”

WELL FUCK YOU TOO RANDOM LADY??? LAD DOES HIS BEST AND I WILL NOT HAVE HIM SLANDERED THIS WAY

I finally go to Drayden’s and get told how the original dragon performed mitosis and now we have two dragons and also they once destroyed the region with fire and lightning but it’s chill.

“People may hurt pokemon even more by imposing their selfish thoughts on them. But no matter what, Pokemon and people believe in each other, need each other, and will continue to live together…”

Drayden is smarter and more nuanced than like, anyone else, why is he not a main character.

Iris chips in about how much she can’t forgive Plasma and Drayden mentions they don’t know how to wake up Zekrom.

Well, to be fair, I’d be very surprised if they did.

Off to the gym, this’ll be interesting since I have no ice or dragon moves on my team.

I get through the trainers okay, now time to fight Daffodil.

Her Haxorus was a bit tricky but nothing I couldn’t handle, and when I walk out Juniper shows up.

And somehow she knows how to resurrect Zekrom. Cool!

She blahs about how it’ll wake up when it deems someone worthy and talks about how much I’ve changed and shows me to the gate where the route to the pokemon league is.

“Chirae? Do you regret setting out on your pokemon journey?”

UH.

MAYBE?

mmm, that’s not fair to my pokemon though - nigh everyone around me may be looney tunes or incompetent, but they’ve been good pals.

So I hit “no” after all.

and she gives me a master ball. dope.

I make it to the gates of victory road and I honestly really like the bit where each section of them is themed after the badges! That’s a nice touch, I think that was only also done in the FRLG remakes if I recall correctly. It makes it feel a lot more ceremonious and important.

Ah here come my two idiots.

Bianca asks Cheren to smile and he’d probably implode if he did. He finally isn’t an asshole though, good for him.

The bug badge guard tells me to “fight valiantly like an insect” which is funny but I guess does make sense. Ants can fuck some stuff up, man.

Honestly I want to be a badge gate guard, seems like a fun job.

Also, I caught an excadrill in a raid the day I wrote this, and caught an excadrill in this game. Their pokedex entry includes this gem:

“Their tunnels can be destructive to subway systems”

Given the battle subway exists in this game, their insurance payments must be obscene. Imagine getting your match interrupted by a giant mole with metal fists that doesn’t give a fuck.

I named her Beans. She looks like a Beans.

I also caught a Deino. The Irate Pokémon that can’t see and tackles people to learn about its surroundings. I feel a kinship with this creature.

I named him Mezzo for laughs.

And I managed to get myself back to the beginning of victory road. Good job, cloud.

Okay I think I’ve found the right path, found a new dude to beat up which is a good sign. Apparently he’s lost too.

Love when a trainer switches out to a Pokémon mine doesn’t have a type advantage against and it gets wiped in two hits anyway. Death is inevitable.

“I’ve thought about what I can do to help my Pokémon win and I finally figured out the answer!”

Is it git gud?

Flame charge raises my speed, opponent’s klang uses automotize to prove it can do that too, dies because it’s too busy trying to go fast.

Then I get nailed by a flare blitz. Darmanitan is toxic to gen 5 nuzlocke runs, I swear. Especially since I have no one on my hodgepodge team resistant to fire. At least my unfezant is faster.

“Read what your opponent wants to do. Your opponent is human and may change plans from moment to moment. Be careful!”

There’s some meta joke to be made there but I’m not thinking of anything witty. Something something AI having a point even if not in this context.

Back to the beginning again but I think I know what I need to do now.

I looked at a walkthrough to check, tho, lmfao. Was tired of climbing up there only to fall down the wrong spot.

“There’s an item at the bottom! Do you want to slide all the way down?”

You’re the devil talking and you tempt me but I will ignore your silver tongue for now.

So I’m at the league and I thought Cheran would pop out of the bushes before I got here. That’s weird. I could swear he fights me one last time before I challenge the elite four.

NO CHERAN. OKAY. WHAT. IS MY GAME GLITCHED??

I guess not! Huh.

All right then. Time to try and see if I can win with my very unbalanced team.

Lmfao yeah my first attempt against the ghost trainer crashed and burned. Literally, thanks to her Chandelure. Very glad I saved on the outside. TIME TO GO TRAIN MORE.

No Marty, you may not learn wild charge, this is a no recoil moves household, self harm is bad.

Some grinding later, I am ready to try again.

Shauntal gave me a little trouble but was much more manageable. Grimsley was easy, only his Krookodile gave me issues.

I really like the elite four battle areas in this gen, I do admit. Very aesthetic.

Ah shit I know that Musharna is coming.

Never mind, that pink and purple snoozeball went down easy. I didn’t have a single Pokémon faint.

Unless Marshal breaks the trend the fights have actually gotten easier as I went.

He actually was a bit tricky, gave me a good show.

Hello endless stairs, hello N and Alder, hello giant random castle that just explodes out of the ground somehow.

“What has just appeared is team plasma’s castle”

Thanks mate, never would’ve figured that out without you. Why do you need a castle. 

Oh wow, the gym leaders finally decided to be useful and fight the sages for me instead of letting extremists wander around unchecked.

Thanks y’all! Trying not being pointless more often!

“Ignoring team plasma...that would be a terrible thing for us gym leaders to do.”

You all already did that, Elena. I watched as Clay and Iris let these assholes go. We could have avoided this whole plot if literally any of you had done more earlier.

So the game says the castle was built by the Pokémon team plasma took but how the fuck did they like...work underground...you know what I’m not gonna even think about it too hard because it makes no sense and I know that. I must make my peace.

I also like how the castle is nonsensical and yet there’s a line of dialogue about how they’ll liberate the Pokémon in PCs too for their Master Plan(TM), which is surprisingly thoughtful. This game is so inconsistent with how much sense its lore makes. It’ll come up with something clever and then wear its underwear on its head the next minute.

“Will you go the Pokémon league?”

Hey what - WHY DID YOU TELEPORT ME HOW CAN YOU DO THAT. DO YOU HAVE AN ABRA OR WHAT

THAT WAS RANDOM

Well at least there’s someone there to randomly teleport me back too.

WHEEEEEE

Hi Reshiram, convenient how that mini fire tornado you made didn’t burn me or N.

Hi Zekrom, convenient how your lightning didn’t hurt us either, you’re a considerate chap

Aight, let’s see if I can catch this bastard

...I did and it only took me like five balls. Okay then.

N gave me a good fight, so there’s that.

Love how Ghetsis’s bouffalant kills itself via recoil from its own move and my scrafty’s rocky helmet.

He gave me a good fight too though.

I do like the ending, despite my issues with how the game presents its message. N is a great character and I appreciate what Nintendo was trying to do with the game’s plot, they just...didn’t really delve into it like they should have.

I’m glad I replayed it. I still have my issues with gen 5 but I see a lot more of its positives now.

We’ll see if I do any post-game content, I have gotten kind of attached to my grump-ass trainersona and his weird team.

[jarmes]

Blind Shield Nuzlocke Notes 3

-Starting off session three. Current team: Bob Murray the Skwovet, Chaos the Dottler, Dracula the Chewtle, Echo the Zigzagoon

-Going through route 3. Side note, the ui is really good in this one. Like, you can see other Pokémon’s moves when your on the switch screen and that’s such a good touch

-I though chewtle was cute at first, but it’s head is starting to weird me out

-Rose owns a coal mine? I knew he was evil!

-Escape rope is a key item? That’s cool I guess

-Aw man, I wish i could catch a train

-Why can’t zigzagoon learn beat up

-There are free heals everywhere and I’m torn. On one hand, it makes the game easy. On the other, I’d probably jus fly back to the pokecenter anyway and this saves time

-Caught freight the rolycoly. I hope it evolves into a fire type before the grass gym. I also hope it isn’t a trade evo because I’m getting geodude/rogenrolla vibes from this thing

-ROLYCOLY RIDING IN MINE CART

-Oh shit almost lost Dracula to a Woobat

-And then I lost him to a drilbur fuck

-Five hits on a furry swipes, that isn’t on me

-Fuck it, going back and grinding

-Oh this game has black white exp calculations

-Got whole team up to 17, time to take on the rock dungeon with a team that sucks at fighting rock types

-Hell yeah Freight evolved! No I have a fire type to replace my dead son!

-“Coming this way? I’d advise against it.” And I’d advise shutting up before I kill you like you killed Diana

-Bede? You’re acting touch and you’re named fucking Bede? Eat struggle bugs bucko

-The fucks a hatena

-The fuck is this thing? Looks like a fairy or psychic type.

-Whatever, it went down to some rock blasts

-Wait do you only have psychic types? Well, I got some bad news, fucko. Chaos is pretty good and breaking minds

-“I wasn’t really trying all that hard anyway.” VIVA LA REVOLUTION FUCKBOI

-Added Gyro the Wolloo to the team. Pry won’t use it because I already have two normal types

-I love British meowth

-Wow, I can see the gym from here it’s big

-Blinkin took a tackle from a WOOLOO head on. Blinkin is a badass

-Meeting gym leaders in advance, hell yeah!

-Stop being happy when you lose, Evee child. I killed your pet!

-Hop called Yamper a good boy 10/10 game of the year

-Oh look Stonehenge

-dats a weird Pokémon on dat hill

-“What does the darkest day have to do with dynamax?” Idk, maybe the clouds that blot out the sun dumbass

-So the photo thing shows the walking Stonehenge thing that I saw in the leaks I didn’t read. I wonder if I can catch one here

-“Take a look at this-“ Hop, seriously, I’m blind

-Hop beat the gym? I guess it’s easy

-DONT GIVE ME A FRIEND BALL BALL GUY YOU SATAN SPAWN

-Oh sweet, the trial challenges are back. This is a good mix of alola and classic styles

-Sheep terrorizing? I’m in Danny boy

-Yamper get in your way that’s adorable!

-Leah What is wrong with your face

-Okay, yes. Yes yes yes. This is the glory I the player deserve. Cheer for me, peasants, as I slay your god!

-Milo has holsters for his poke balls!

-Freight took Grossefleur our in two hits

-Oh look a bigger grossefleur. You know what that means: Big freight train

-Oh, Milo also dynamaxed. May the best Pokémon win. The best is freight, btw. She won in three hits

-The badges are puzzle pieces!

-The next gym is a water type, which isn’t great for me. I’ll take it on in my next post

-Last thing before quitting, I’m going to check out the wild area again, try to find a gem 8 grass or electric type

-Okay, can’t catch level 28 Pokémon. New rule, only Pokémon I am allowed to catch count

-Guess that’s it for now

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon SoulSilver Randomized Nuzlocke [Part 1]

Since I haven’t fully learned from my mistakes, hey! It’s time for another Nuzlocke. With extra Randomizer action for reasons that are going to be very apparent as I go through this set’s rules.

I’m going to try what this person on the internet calls a Chainlocke, though with slight alterations for the sake of sanity; basic idea is that my catch Types have to be linked. If I catch a Grass/Poison pokemon, my next option has to have one of those in common.

That gets thorny really fast, which I guess is the point, but I’m more about wacky fun than serious challenges. So to make things more entertaining, I will be randomizing every pokemon in the wild, as well as NPC gifts and trades. All the other Trainers keep their original stuff. I get to be special.

So. Rules:

Only the first viable pokemon of each route may be caught.

Gift pokemon are cool to use.

In-game trades are also cool.

‘Viable’ in this case means that they must have a Type in common with the most recent caught pokemon.

The starter will be starting that chain despite not technically being caught by me. Because I feel like it.

Each pokemon must receive a nickname.

If a pokemon faints, it is considered dead. It will go in an appropriately named box in the PC.

In the event of a team wipe, the run will continue with whatever’s left (alive) in the PC.

And that’s about it. Let’s kick it.

No.

I can’t remember if this version does the all-caps for names or not. In any case, this protagonist avatar will take on the name Sunny. Because I am in a warm and welcoming mood, ready to make all the new creatures I encounter my friends.

I love how they have Lyra use the mail system.

Someone has to.

It certainly won’t be anyone playing these games.

Okay, based on how Lyra’s Marill is discussed, human names don’t get the all-caps treatment, but pokemon do. What does this mean for my nicknaming schemes? No idea. The hour is late and I don’t care enough.

-rubs hands together-

Hmmmm.

...

Dude.

Get out.

Hmmmm.

I can’t pick Cyndaquil, because what even is the point if I do that. Sableye I’ve never been so interested in as a true companion. Dewgong is fully evolved, and I hate starting out with that.

However.

I never get to use Dewgong.

Seel is never anywhere convenient.

DEWGONG WELCOME TO THE TEAM!

Shaped like a friend.

I haven’t worked out any particular theme for this run. I can name her whatever I want. I think I shall call her Chance.

Look at how cute she is. She is adorable. Sassy and highly persistent. I declare her perfect. She also knows Headbutt! That matters beyond being a cool move in this version! Much squeeing! She also knows Growl, Signal Beam, and Icy Wind.

My next pokemon will have to be Water or Ice. It will probably be Water, thanks to Water being absurdly common. That’s cool. I like Water pokemon.

And so, without yet being able to catch anything, I head out into the world. Running my obligatory fetch quest for Professor Elm.

Huh, a Smoochum says hello. That’s a good thing to know for later. But what’s in the Headbutt tree?

...A Hoothoot. Sigh. Well, one less thing to worry about when finding pokemon.

Weedle also lurks in the grass.

Yay. Gotta go fast.

Can I buy poke balls yet?

No. Sad face.

The next route has Kricketot. Did I check the similar strength button by accident?

Then suddenly, Grumpig! Okay, sweet. Just a few Buggy coincidences. Gligar is also here.

Literally have never heard of you. You have a boring name. No one should ever copy it ceaselessly for a gag that no one sees any value in.

Hello, a wild challenger approaches! With his super duper Totodile! Headbutt it, Chance. Headbutt it into submission. Good girl.

Uh. There’s not enough room for it.

Perfect.

I love how Silver’s most defining feature is his red hair.

After a short visit home to tell our mom we are far too irresponsible to be trusted with all of the money we’re going to earn from mugging other children, plus a short tutorial on catching things, we can finally get started!

Smoochum is the only thing available in the routes we’ve visited so far, but I haven’t checked out the northern one right outside the starting town yet.

But the walking takes the decision out of my hands! We encounter a level 4 Smoochum, and as per the rules, that is what I have to go for. Lest I kill the route.

...

I killed the Smoochum.

I guess that answers my question about its Typing. Ruh roh. Signal Beam was a mistake. For multiple reasons, now that I’m taking a second to think about it. Whoops. Any game that requires me to think is screwed from the start, honestly.

So now we search for something else to catch.

Route 46? Be nice?

Carvanha! That’s a Water! Can catch!

In theory. It’s broken out of two pokeballs. It’s also level 2, so I don’t think I can risk attacking it.

.I’m going to run out of balls, aren’t I?

I think I have to risk an Icy Wind. I’m on my last poke ball. I don’t really want to leave it purely up to the mood of the RNG.

Chance apparently doesn’t want friends.

She got a critical hit.

Two dead routes! Okay!

Still needing a Water or Ice Type!

Also more Poke Balls!

One of those problems I can fix. As for the other, inb4 the Mystery Egg and whatever I get from Bill are the only other teammates Chance ever has.

We march through the trainers between us and the next town. Certain of nothing but Chance’s ability to murder them all.

Route 31 has an Elekid as the first thing I see and the rules say I can’t catch it. What horrible person came up with this. Seviper and Lopunny are also here. Those I care less about.

Dark Cave? Help? Mayhaps?

A Golbat appears.

Okay.

Before we think too hard on that, I’ve gotta say that I do love how gen 4 does the caves. They are very gorgeously cavernous, and the few times I bother to think about the background art, I enjoy walking through them.

But yeah, is there anything in this cave that is not a Golbat?

Route 31 has a Butterfree.

These are things that do not help me.

The person who usually gives you an Onix for a Bellsprout in whatever this city is (Violet) offers a Corphish for a Kecleon. Things to keep in mind if I ever find a Kecleon. That I can catch.

In no version of this game have I ever done this egg thing. I was unaware there even was an egg thing, since anything that requires me to pick the right word out of the hat of words bores me to tears. Then I started watching too many people play Pokemon games on the internet.

-Googles how to get egg-

So normally, you can get a Mareep, Wooper, or Slugma. In the spirit of the Chainlocke, even though I said gifts were cool, we’ll take the Wooper egg. Vote now on whether or not it’ll actually be a Wooper. I don’t know how to use the Randomizer.

Hm. Iiiiiiinteresting.

Chance, Headbutt some trees on the off chance that a Water pokemon falls out, please.

It’s a Hoothoot.

I get the feeling that the Randomizer settings didn’t care about the pokemon found through Headbutting.

Route 32. Help.

Gligar. That is not help.

Rhydon is not help either. Likewise Torchic.

SQUIRTLE. THAT IS HELP.

...

...

...

Chance.

Why are you getting so many critical hits against your friends. Do you not want friends. Have I raised you to be so antisocial.

-sigh- Route 32 declared dead.

Ruins of Alph? Maybe you have someone Chance likes?

...

Why is Gligar everywhere.

I guess. I will go to the tower. With Chance. Just the two of us.

Plus the Gloom egg, which is looking like a very likely candidate for the only friend Chance will ever have. Besides the Mystery Egg we don’t have yet.

(Also Rock Smash HM get. Yaaaaay.)

Local level 11 Dewgong beats up 3 year-olds.

So many dead Bellsprout.

I haven’t run into any wild pokemon here, yet. Sadness. We will never know which new friend Chance was going to kill next.

SURPRISE!

It’s Medicham.

Chance kills it.

Partially because I can’t catch it anyway, partially because that is just what Chance does. Her sassiness belies her murderous intent.

Flash obtained with little fuss, and time to move on to Falkner. He of the coolest name. Yet another Gym Leader I wanted to be as a child. Even if he uses nothing but birds. Falkner is just the coolest name.

Oh, and it looks like there’s also Roselia in this tower.

I can’t do anything about it, but that’s nice.

I love how each generation of pokemon decides the Gyms need to be more extra.

They’re right and they should say it.

-five seconds later- Well that went by quickly. Good girl, Chance. Your murder spree continues. And our prize? Picking up the Mystery Egg! Which gets to be a genuine mystery for now! Chance! You might have a friend! In pure spite of your best efforts!

Time to spend an hour doing nothing but walking. I normally wouldn’t be so interested in hatching the eggs, but. I would kind of like to have a promise of Chance not being completely alone this entire game.

One down! His name is Cloud! He is... also Sassy (Chance, is this why you let him stay), level 1, and alert to sounds!

!

whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit

...Wow. Something I actually could have gotten legitimately in this Chainlocke. In theory. In a world where Chance is of slightly different temperament.

Her name shall be Sleet. She is Quiet and likes to run.

Hm.

I remain unsure if I’m going to actually use either of these new friends. The spirit of what I’m going for with this doesn’t really work with me just being handed two random Official Teammates. I might change my mind after a few more routes of things not going well for me, but for now, I think I’ll mostly stick to me and Chance.

..Though before I do..

They’re both level 1. I can be nice and not set them up for death. They can make it to level 5 before we say a cordial farewell. I can grind in this game. I can be nice.

-ten minutes later-

-tfw Ivysaur also lives on Route 32 because Route 32 is starter central-

Niceness done, let’s get on the road.

The road takes us, and our level 17 Dewgong, to Union Cave.

If you squint, this looks like fanart of a sleeping Sandslash.

Will we find the Water or Ice pokemon our team longs for here????

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Uh.

Let me look up the rules for evolving Feebas in this gen. Because Feebas is pure Water. If I can’t evolve it, I’m better off killing it so I have more options available with what I can catch.

...

The internet says I need eight massages from Daisy (Blue’s sister. in Pallet Town.) to max its Beauty so it can evolve.

Chance. just. just do the thing. we all know how this ends.

So dies Union Cave.

Awww, how cute. A Shaymin. Now just one of the many corpses littered at Sunny’s feet. Hariyama is also here. A floor below, it’s the return of Grumpig. Plus Yanmega for the first time. Girafarig.

-SIGH-

Route 33. Do you want to save us?

Weezing.

WHISCASH. GIMME. CHANCE, SWAP OUT AND LET CLOUD HELP.

AT LONG LAST.

WE HAVE.

THE CHAINLOCKE’S FIRST CATCH.

FLUDD, WELCOME TO THE TEAM!

NEXT CATCH?

WATER OR GROUND!

LET’S END IT THERE WHILE THINGS ARE STILL GOOD.

[thewritelycampix]

No Pokeballs Allowed

Chapter 11: Sinking Ships and Burning Bridges

The difference between mass and weight isn’t usually something one considers on a day-to-day basis. This is presumably because in general, most people don’t need to worry about mass. But as people have pointed out in the past, there is a significant difference between the two.

Mass represents the amount of something that exists. This is a constant thing - it never changes, no matter where the object in question is. Even something that seems to have no presence at all is still in fact present as long as it has any mass. As a matter of fact, some things that cannot be perceived at all still have mass. In the summer, we do not see the breath coming out of our mouths. And yet, even though we have not seen it in a long time, we know it is there. We can feel it.

Weight, however, is different. Weight matters entirely on the gravity of the situation and is situational depending on how much mass one object has when it pulls others towards it. Denser matters tend to make everything on them feel heavy. If you were to wear a shirt while standing on a neutron star, your entire body would collapse under its own weight.

The past week had been taxing on everyone. Squirtle had not left her office. The door had stayed closed, and no one had seen it open. Mew had tried calling somewhat comforting words through the door, but she received no response. They had all stood in front of the door for a good while, looking at each other helplessly as their eyes asked the same question of what to do. Finally, Monty had broken away and gone to the bulletin board out front to take a job. Coran and Mew reluctantly took this as a cue, and work resumed.

Coran knocked at the door, calling out a weak ‘good morning’ like he had for the past four days. He fetched two or three berries from the break room, then came back to the office door and leaned his back against it. He held his stance for a moment before slumping to a sitting position on the ground.

“…Squirtle, I don’t know how long we’re going to be able to keep this up,” he said, his head sinking to his knees as he chewed on a berry. The berry chunk went down his throat slow and laboriously. “We need someone like you around to keep morale up. I… I know that what happened isn’t easy to deal with. I’m dealing with it, too. But… I just think… I don’t know if sitting in your room is going to solve anything, I guess? I’ve had time to think this all over, and… i-it sounds bad, but missions are a good way to sort of distance myself from the problem and just look at it from a different perspective, y'know? Maybe… if you tried one-”

“I don’t think you should rush her, Coran,” a voice called softly from the front. Coran turned to see Mew approaching him. “This isn’t something that can be really taken lightly, and some deal with it harder than others. I know all three of you aren’t as used to this sort of thing as I am, and…” She looked sunken, averting eye contact with Coran.

“What do you mean?” Coran asked, looking up at her from the floor. “You’re used to… to death?”

Mew gave a slow nod. “When you’ve been alive as long as I have, you see a lot. And I have seen a lot.” She descended from the air, landing on her hind paws beside Coran and sinking down to a sitting position beside him. “There’s a burden on us. And it’s hard. But after a few millennia, you just… you start to go numb.”

“That’s kind of scary,” Coran mumbled as his shoulders sunk. Mew could only nod in agreement.

They sat in silence for a while. Coran took a few deep breaths, leaning his head back until it connected with the door with a soft thunk. “I’m gonna go check the mail,” he said finally, getting up.

“Hey, Coran,” Mew called as he walked past her to the front.

He turned his head, slowing his pace. “Yeah?”

“How are you taking all of this? I’ve done some talking with Monty, but…” She smiled softly. “I don’t really talk to you enough. I know that our first hellos were a little…” She frowned. “Strenuous.”

Coran grimaced a little. She was right. “I’m not going to hold that against you. I don’t know why you did it, but I’m trying to put it behind us. If I’m really special, and I’m really going to help save the world, then I think we’re going to be working together a lot. And… it’s good not to hate your co-workers, right?”

“That’s… that’s really comforting to hear,” Mew said, putting a paw to her forehead as she slumped down further. “I swear, this transforming thing gets to your head when you do it for too long.”

Sensing that she was trying to change the subject, Coran obliged. “What is it like? Transforming, I mean. I feel like it’d be pretty cool to be something completely different.”

“The novelty tends to wear off after the first four centuries,” Mew said, giving Coran a somewhat playful smile. “You’re still you, but… your mind gets rewired. Since you’re in a new body, you’re not desensitized to all the instincts that come with it. So if you’re not used to it and ready for it, you end up acting really stupid and feral.”

“Like you did with the Chandelure?”

“Yes,” Mew admitted. “Though that was because I stayed in that form too long. The same thing happens.”

“Really?” Coran’s ears pricked. “But don’t you get more used to a body the longer you stay in it?”

Mew nodded. “There’s a middle ground, to be sure, but being in a body too long tends to make you lose your sense of self. There were a few times in my early life where I legitimately forgot I was Mew.”

“…Whoa,” Coran breathed. “Scary.”

“Though Latios was there to snap me out of it, it was pretty scary,” Mew nodded. She was silent for a moment. “Though I should probably get back to work.”

Coran sighed and got to his feet. “Me too, I guess. Not really looking forward to it.”

“Who does?” Mew said with a small chuckle. “Oh, just remembered, there’s mail for you by the front.”

“Really? From who?”

“Go and see,” Mew said, flicking her tail as she floated out of the headquarters towards the bulletin board outside.

Coran followed after her, stopping at the mail basket right inside the door. Inside was a small neatly folded yellow envelope. He reached inside, picked it up, and ripped open the top.

Dear Coran,

It feels like it’s been absolute ages since you’ve been over last! I know that you are most definitely busy with your job – I hope Squirtle isn’t overworking you! I’ve heard some pretty nasty rumours of things going on in Nuzlocke. You’re all safe, yes? The world certainly seems to be swirling around the gutter nowadays, doesn’t it? Though I will say that I’ve seen it in states like this before, and we got out of it relatively unharmed! Though I must admit, my motives for writing this letter aren’t entirely selfless. There has been something bothering me as of late, and I need someone who is skilled at both talking and listening (you!) to aid me. If you’re having trouble, simply present it to Squirtle as a job. I will reward you for your troubles, it’s only fair! Along with the usual accompaniment of tea, of course!

Please come soon, Phari

The sand felt good under Coran’s feet. He’d been up on Mt. Maelstrom for the past few days, clearing off all of the missions that had to do with it at once, so having a warm, soft surface to walk on was a pleasant change to the stark, cold stone the summit provided.

Coran looked out over the beach as he walked across it, watching the beachgoers relax along the shoreline.

They know about the state the world’s in, right? Coran thought to himself. They have to understand that everything’s going down the drain, right? How can they be so happy?

Things still felt somewhat different from his usual visits. Despite there being Pokémon after Pokémon lying on the warm sand of the coast, the atmosphere felt moderately thick compared to earlier times.

He shook his head to clear himself of that. He was going to Phari’s to rid his mind of these thoughts, not keep them going. Continuing past the palm trees, he eventually got up to Dusky Cape, on which Phari’s villa was perched, looking over the bay.

The walk up to the cape felt a lot longer today than it usually did. The cut stone steps were smooth under his paws as always, the setting sun stung his eyes a little as always, and the windows of the villa filtered the sunlight into beams streaming eastward, as always. But the walk was a lot slower. Coran wasn’t entirely sure whether he liked that or not. A gentle wind blew past him as he stood at the doorstep. Coran had been here a few times in the past, and all of them had been pleasant. Phari was an excellent host. He’d grown to like tea in the past few months, what with Phari and Monty figuratively shoving tea leaves down his throat. He raised his fist and knocked on the door, before stepping back. “Coming!” a voice came from inside, followed swiftly by the door opening. A familiar Ampharos stood in the doorway, beaming down at Coran. “Ah, you came! Come in, come in. I was just dusting off some pictures.”

Coran gave a nod and slipped past Phari into the house as she shut the door. Looking around, a small frown crossed his face as he saw the state of the house. The box of checkers and chess was still out from his last visit, leaning up against the coffee table. The checkerboard itself was still there on the table, the game abandoned midway. Giving it a quick look, Coran chuckled to himself as memories of how horrible he was at chess came flooding back to him. A guitar leaned up against the chair that Phari had sat in - she had played a few tunes that had been taught to her by Cappy. It was only simple picking since her flippers didn’t let her play chords, but Coran still found it impressive.

“You’ll have to excuse the mess,” Phari said, her voice still coming from near the door. “I’ve been somewhat preoccupied lately. As have you, isn’t that right? I’ve heard some awful things about Nuzlocke!”

Coran turned back to her and nodded, watching her swipe her paw across the top of a picture frame near the door. “Yeah. A Pokémon went rogue in town, and…as we dealt with it, he…” The words died in Coran’s mouth. Even after that talk with Mew, he still had trouble saying it. Especially to someone like Phari. How could he communicate to her that they had basically murdered someone? What would she think of him after that? Would she be scared?

“He’s no longer with us, is he?” Phari said softly, causing Coran to jump as if he’d been statically shocked. “Like I mentioned before, Coran, I’ve lived through the apocalypse once before.”

Coran just stared at her for a good few moments, unable to shake off the impact she’d had on him. “Sorry, I just thought-”

Phari held up a paw and shook her head. “It’s alright, Coran. I understand you’re scared. We all are. But it’s admirable that you’re trying to stop it. That’s more than I did.”

Thinking about this for a moment, Coran took a seat next to the coffee table. “…I know it’s not what I came here to help you with, but would you mind telling me about that? Maybe after I help with what you wanted to talk about?”

Phari stood still, pondering something before she nodded. “Of course. The tea’s ready, but I was just making biscuits. Would you mind helping me wash the dishes, Coran?”

He got up from the chair and stretched. “Sure, I don’t see why not. Good to do something else while talking.”

“I could not agree more, Coran,” Phari said, walking past him to the kitchen.

As Coran followed, he was presented with the alluring smell of peanut butter cookies baking in the oven. He couldn’t help but relish a bit in the aroma, letting out a quiet mumble of satisfaction. “Mmm…is that peanut butter?”

“Good nose you’ve got there,” Phari said with a giggle. “I will admit I made these specifically for this occasion. I didn’t expect you to drop by so soon though! The post is so unreliable nowadays, I tell you…” Coran picked up a chair from the kitchen table and put it up near the sink, hopping on so that he could reach. Picking up a rag, he soaked it in warm water and began to rinse out a bowl. “So…what’s bothering you, Phari?”

Phari paused from putting ingredients back into the cupboards. She took a deep breath. “When you came in, I was dusting off those picture frames by the door.”

“There’s a lot of them,” Coran noted. “Those are of you and Cappy, right?”

Phari nodded. Coran felt a small pit in his stomach as he began to catch on to a possible route that this conversation might be taking.

“I love him so much, Coran,” Phari continued, resuming her storage of the biscuit ingredients. “I miss him every day. Each night I close my eyes, and I see him staring at me with…with that dopey grin on our wedding day. He looked at me like I was the most valuable treasure he’d ever laid eyes on.”

“What happened?” Coran asked, looking up at her from the bowl he had begun to scrub.

She shook her head. “Nothing bad, for the longest time.” Phari paused. “Well, that isn’t… entirely true. We did find out that I was unable to have kids, but you knew about that. He didn’t let it get to me. And so we kept on living. And then…then he…”

Phari stopped, her paw shaking as she carefully eased a cabinet door closed.

“He started to go sailing,” she finally let out. “And he loved it. He’d be gone for a week at a time, but he’d always come back with that same dopey grin I’d come to love. And he’d come with so many tales and stories of things he’d done in the wonderful lands he’d sailed to. He always offered to take me with him, but…” She let out a quiet laugh. “The open sea is a scary thing, isn’t it?”

Coran stopped and thought about it. “I wouldn’t know,” he said after some deliberation. “I’ve never really been out at sea before. Have you?”

Phari shook her head. “No, but the thought of it shakes me up quite a bit. Just imagining miles after miles of water in every single direction, with who-knows-what lurking in the freezing depths below you… If your boat sinks, you’re more or less… You’re more or less done for, aren’t you?”

Her voice faltered, and she leaned against the kitchen counter as her eyes lowered. “…You’re done for.”

Coran stared at her for a moment, the pit in his stomach from earlier flying up into his throat. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? “Phari…”

“He’s been gone for ten years, Coran.” Her voice trembled slightly. “I’ve been wrestling with the truth for such a long time. Ten years, I’ve been running possibilities through my head, and…none of them are pleasant. None of them.”

Coran’s first instinct was to tell her not to lose hope. That Cappy was still out there, that he was still alive. That he could feel it. But the more he thought about it, the crueller that option became. She was already hoping. She had done it for ten years. Coran could only imagine how long ten years could feel when you’re waiting for someone to come back. Telling her that Cappy would come back would be beyond despicable. But what else could he say?

“It’s alright, Coran.” Phari said, placing a flipper on his shoulder. “ I know already. I… I’ve known for nine years. I didn’t want to face it, but…I don’t know if I really have much of a choice anymore. It’s just hurting me more than helping me at this point, I just…I need to come to terms with it. I need to face it.”

“Phari…”

“I…I apologize, Coran,” she continued, wiping her eyes as she looked up at him. “I shouldn’t be in this sort of state when I’m hosting a friend.”

“No, I-” Coran cut himself off. “This… I can’t say I understand what you’re going through. Not entirely. But I think that what you and Cappy did have was something extraordinary. And if you’re going to be remembering anything, you should remember that.”

Phari held his gaze but didn’t say a word. He continued.

“I think I told you, but I’m not really from here. I haven’t seen my family in months, and I don’t even know if they know I’m gone. And…” And what? Coran thought to himself. You’ve barely thought about them. “I think the fact that you’re feeling so awful about this says so much about what you did have. The fact that you’ve fallen so far means that you had to have been on the top of the world. The fact that you’ve been thinking about him for ten years says that you love him, that you value him, that you were important to each other’s lives. I think…it would have been worse, if…if you didn’t miss him. If you just kept going, kept living your life for months on end, without…without giving them a single thought. With just distracting yourself with other things, letting them fade away because you simply don’t care enough. You don’t…”

You’re not talking about Phari anymore.

Coran fell silent.

“Coran?” Phari had worked herself to a stand. “Are you alright?” He slowly shook his head. “I’m here for you, Phari. I want to help you.“ The atmosphere hung in the room, swaying softly from the ceiling. Back and forth, back and forth. Phari looked past Coran to the large window facing towards the fiery sea. The sound of the waves, though quiet, lapped gently against the shore beneath the cape. And beyond, the reflection of the setting sun shimmered dimly, skipping across the waves as a gentle breeze worked its way to the shore.

“I’ve known this for a while, Coran.” Phari began to walk past him, still staring out the window. “What Cappy and I had was truly wonderful. But the sooner that I come to terms with it being over…the sooner I can move on.” Her steps were slow, almost as if she were being guided. Bending down, she picked up the guitar that had been leaning up against the coffee table and walked towards the patio door to the left.

“I think I’m going to go sit outside for a moment,” she said, her voice just above a whisper. “You’re free to join if you want, Coran.”

Coran slid off the chair and shuffled beside Phari as she stopped, looking outside. He hesitated for just an instant, then he hugged her. “I have to get going anyway, Phari,” Coran said. “But you’re a friend to me, Phari. If you ever need me again, please write. Or even if you just want me to visit.” He paused. “Alright?”

Phari froze up for a moment but squeezed Coran back. “I will.”

Eventually, she separated and floated out onto the patio. The door hung open, a warm wind wafting into the house, along with the unsteady yet gentle notes of a picking guitar.

A deep sigh escaped Squirtle’s lips as she looked out over the ocean. She’d spent a lot of time sleeping. Probably more than was healthy. She’d spent more time looking inwards at herself than she had since she had first left home. And this time she didn’t really have much more to show for it than worried employees and wasted time.

She closed her eyes for a moment before focusing them back on the rocky cliffs and the orange coast beyond. If she imagined hard enough she could visualize bubbles being blown across the horizon, the translucent film sparkling in the setting sun like she’d heard about so many times before. Krabby always used to come out and blow bubbles, her mom had told her. It was one of her fondest memories of the western continent, she’d said.

“…Squirtle?”

Startled, Squirtle stood up from her perch on the rock to see Coran approaching her like she were a feral. He didn’t really look the best of sorts, either.

“Hey, Coran,” she said, giving him a small smile. “How’ve you been holding up the past week?”

“Uh…things have been kind of tough, but we’re managing,” Coran said. He was looking at her from the side, as if examining her. She couldn’t really blame him, though. She was pretty sure nobody saw her come out here to Sunset Beach, and she’d basically been a cryptid lately.

“How was your ‘mission’?” she continued.

“…Kind of taxing, actually,” Coran mumbled. “Phari’s been having personal problems, and… They kind of got me thinking about myself.”

Squirtle motioned for him to come closer. “What do you mean?”

Coran, inching closer, sat down on the sand below the rock Squirtle lied on. “It’s not important. Just had me thinking about my past. Or lack of it, I guess.”

“The human stuff?”

He sighed. “I know you don’t really like talking about that.”

This put Squirtle off. She supposed it did kind of weird her out a bit - it wasn’t exactly a common occurrence, having a human turn into a Pokémon, and sometimes the ‘Coran is crazy’ thought bubbled up into her consciousness. But she pushed it out. He’d been working for her for months, and he’d shown that he was a hard worker, and was dedicated to proving himself to Squirtle. And honestly, she considered him a friend. That wasn’t wrong, right? And she wanted friends to feel safe talking to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Isn’t there more important things we should be talking about?” Coran asked. “Like, the cause of you being in your room all week?”

Squirtle flinched. “I was…I was thinking.”

“About the whole ‘save the world’ thing?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m just seventeen. I’m not even that strong. My only reason for hiring you in the first place was because I can’t fight at all. I’m not that smart, I’m not fast, or cunning. Literally the only thing I am good at is managing a business and given my track record of previous partners I’m not even sure I do that right.”

Coran looked up at her, his mouth hanging open as if he were to say something, but nothing came out. “I mean I was basically comatose the entire week,” she said with a sigh. “I just ate and slept and thought. It…” She let out a little chuckle. “It probably wasn’t good for my health. But…but the more I thought about it, the more I just thought about my family. And…” She laughed again. “I just kind of find it all fitting, I guess?”

“…Your family?” Coran echoed.

“I guess I haven’t really told you about them, have I?” Squirtle said, looking down at Coran. “I grew up in Coastline, on the far west of the Eastern Continent - that’s the one we’re on. Adopted by my mom, Judy, and my dad, Barry. Blastoise and Feraligatr, respectively. I was the youngest.” She looked back over the ocean. “Youngest of three, for the first five years of my life. In a family of Water-Types. As an Eevee. I felt kind of…too normal, for lack of a better word. I saw my siblings making blades out of water, freezing stuff, taking huge bites. Leonard was training to be a battler, and you should have seen the bites he took out of the punching bags Dad kept getting him. And here I was, scratching and tackling my little heart out.”

Squirtle frowned as she recalled. “I never thought I’d be anything, watching Leonard and Trish grow up. They could do things with water, and I was just…I was just normal. So one day, when I heard how unstable Eevees apparently were, I got super excited. They can turn into nine separate evolutions! Nine!” She smiled wistfully. “So I went out one day, looking for a Water Stone. I packed up all my things, and I set out. I was gone for three days, just looking for my ticket to be good, be tough. Eventually I ran out of food, and had to come home with my tail between my legs. And man, was I in trouble.”

Realizing about halfway through the story that she was more talking about herself than her family, she laughed again. “Mom grounded me for three weeks. And then she told me that… I guess, that I shouldn’t take the easy way out of improving myself, just by evolving? I don’t think she really knows how ‘easy’ it was, honestly. It wasn’t a cakewalk looking for the Water Stone! I wanted to be strong. And I went out, all on my own, because I wanted that so bad. I didn’t care how dangerous it was, or what’d happen, but I wanted something really bad, and I wasn’t going to let something like common sense stop me then.”

“I think I’ve been thinking too hard, if I’m gonna be honest with myself,” she finished. “I might not think I’m the one for the job, but I want this world to exist tomorrow more than I wanted to evolve back then. So I’m going to stay determined, and I’m going to try.”

Squirtle turned to face him. “I still don’t think I’m very strong. I’m still not sure if I’m going to be able to help at all. But I’m going to try. I’m going to try for you, for Monty, for Mew, and my family.”

Coran didn’t respond at first, looking down at his lap. Finally, he gave a quiet nod. “Yeah.”

Her face fell, her emotion quickly turning to concern. “Things will be okay,” she said. “We’ll all be okay.”

“Yeah.”

Start at the beginning

[toothpaste-dragon]

Nuzlocke #1: My Journey Begins!

Check out this post for rules and other details not listed here!

See below for details of today’s adventure!

Today, June 27 2017, I began my Pokémon adventure! I decided to name my character Rose, which is my middle name, since my journey will be focusing less on me and more on my Pokémon team. (I apologize for the picture quality...it’s not the best.)

I haven’t gotten enough money for new clothes yet, so she’s still wearing the original outfit haha.

(I also picked the nickname “Cool guy” because this video always makes me crack up.)

Instead of choosing a starter based on what I wanted, I rolled a 6-sided die in which 1-2 would give me Chespin, 3-4 Fennekin, and 5-6 Froakie. I ended up rolling a 4, so I picked Fennekin! His name is Dante (after “Dante’s Inferno”).

This is his current level, so he’s grown quite a bit since starting at Lv.5! He’s a big beautiful boi now.

My very first encounter was with a male Lv.3 Pidgey, and after capturing him I named him Kevin. I was so excited! Kevin would be the first new member of my team, signifying the beginning of my journey to become a master. Kevin and Dante and I were going to make so many wonderful memories...

...Unfortunately, Kevin was a bit weaker than I thought, and died swiftly after another Pidgey landed a critical hit. Not the best start to the challenge. (I was honestly so shocked, like, I kept running back to the Pokémon Center just to make sure he was at full health when going into battle, and what ends up happening? He dies.) Sometimes I wonder how incredible Kevin could’ve been, if he hadn’t met such a terrible fate. RIP Kevin, you will be missed.

Continuing into the Santalune Forest, I stumbled upon a male Lv.4 Pansage! I named him Sequoia. 

He’s a real cutie! And he finally learned a grass-type move a few levels ago, so that’s been fairly helpful.

In the area following the forest, I captured a male Lv.5 Fletchling, who I named Fawkes! (little Harry Potter reference there)

While he may be small, he does quite a bit of damage on the battlefield. 10/10 a good, healthy boi.

From there, I arrived in Santalune City, and proceeded to go back and forth from the tall grass to the conveniently-placed Poké Center in order to boost some levels. I wanted to make sure we were good and ready before facing off against the gym leader!

Before entering the gym, I roller-skated over to Route 22 to add another Poké to my posé. My first encounter was with a female Lv.7 Farfetch’d, who I named Helga!

Let me tell you...she has been a flippin’ POWERHOUSE so far (also the only girl in my party, currently). Love her to death.

After Helga learned “Arial Ace” I decided to take on the first gym! Once inside, Helga obliterated all three challengers in the gym ON HER OWN, losing less than 10 HP (that’s one Farfetch’d causing four different Pokémon to faint...she’s amazing). Once I restored her health, it was time to take on Viola.

Now here’s the best part: Helga singlehandedly took down both of Viola’s Pokémon using only “Arial Ace.” What a TANK.

Woohoo, first badge in the bag!

Once I left the gym, I made my way toward Route 4 where I caught a male Lv.8 Ledyba, who I appropriately named Punch Bug.

He’s a bit weak, but I don’t have much of a choice at this point, so I still love him! I’m just going to have to raise his level at some point.

Finally, I battled my way through Route 4 until I reached the gate leading into Lumiose City, where I will pick up with my adventure very soon! Thanks for reading :D

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 9]

All eight badges earned, so what does that leave?

Pirates.

Team for the task?

Vertex (Luxray)

Caspet (Gengar)

Stormy (Metagross)

Photon (Rayquaza)

Nessy (Milotic)

Diego (Gardevoir)

...Those who did not participate in the last Gym, raise hands or whatever you have in place of hands for grinding.

#LET ME LEAVE THE GYM WITHOUT A CONVERSATION GEN 5 CHALLENGE.

Colress, I swear, if you pull a Euicine and make me fight you for the honor of not fighting the Terrakion...

He does not. He gives us a toy and basically says to check out the cave that I need Strength to go through more thoroughly. The Giant Chasm pirates are still blocking my way, so.

Siiiiiigh.

Box crew! What have you got for me!

I will take out Bessy, the level 33 Miltank, and teach her Strength.

Bessy is Modest and somewhat vain, but that doesn’t matter because she’s just here for HMs. She’s temporarily taking Vertex’s place, since Vertex isn’t in need of more experience.

Ah. Actually, Strength just lets you get Toxic. Which is fine, but sorry Vertex, guess I threw you out of the squad for nothing.

Hey we found the boat!

Marlon lets us aboard. Thought: I should go put Bessy back in the box and grab Vertex in case something goes wrong. Except that would take time.

...I am going to go put Bessy back in the box and grab Vertex.

After shifting a boulder on Route 22. And grinding for a bit.

Okay. A few hours later, I am more comfortable entering the pirate ship. Team levels are now 56-60. That is absolutely a balanced assessment of my current team. It is in no way misleading.

Me!

...This is the greatest grunt ever. He calls Marlon Smiley Swimsuit. Yes. You have perfectly boiled down his character essentials.

Oh wait, he has a Watchdog.

Sorry pirate friend. We can’t be friends.

Russell, my actual friend, is trying to go on his roaring rampage of revenge. Only as a responsible big brother, not a Sasuke.

I used to have a Sasuke. No more.

...I should have named Russell Itachi. If there’s ever a next time...

I continue to find it delightful that after N leaves, Team Plasma ditches their knight theme for a pirate one. I don’t even know why, I just love it. I love knight aesthetic, I love pirate aesthetic. My castle was right next to my pirate ship for most of my childhood, and it rocked.

Though my pirates wouldn’t steal people’s pets. A key difference. Pirate in name only. Well. And clothing. Pirate is just a more fun word than sailor, and pirates have looser fashion.

Mook time over?

Technically this one isn’t stealing.

Just animal abuse.

The villain of this game is just a salty old man who spent so much time in a refrigerator he decided the rest of the world should spend time in a refrigerator, too. Then he found out his region has a legendary Dragon/Ice type, and the rest is history.

Only history I have to repeat.

Because the villain of a Pokemon game decided his winning strategy would be shooting bolts of ice down at the world below.

Video games are the greatest.

...Wait. How did me and Russell get down here? Did Team Plasma just throw us off?

Also, yes Cheren. They use everything for evil. They’re the bad guys.

And then Cheren asks where the people Zekrom and Reshiram recognized are and. I wonder if he misses his friend. his best friend, [last game protagonist]. How much does it suck that he spent a full game with [person], and now they’ll never see each other again because [person] is bound to a different dimension. A world Cheren can’t touch.

Canon has, what. Red who comes back? Every other protagonist kind of just. vanishes as far as future references to that world are concerned. And Red spends quite some time up on a mountain. Alone.

These games are all about people who swoop in and birth legends, then vanish.

I made myself sad.

Anyway, to the Giant Chasm!

Totally bro.

Aw crud. Do I need Strength? I think I might need Strength. Can I mayhaps avoid that?

Oh. I could just go down the giant stairs.

Wow. Talk about your parties.

ONE MORE TIME ON THE BOAT.

I hate password games. At least the ship supplies a doctor early on. I wasn’t to the point of active concern, but I was feeling a bit itchy about using up healing items. I haven’t grown out of my usual standard in these games where I just let everything in my party die to avoid spending money.

Agreed, let’s roll you.

This guy just keeps throwing Cryogonal at me.

You know, I don’t have a lot to complain about regarding these games and their choices. I whine about everything, but all in all, I find all of them very solid and enjoyable. Even if gen 4 has too many HM requirements wtf just stop.

This isn’t really a complaint, but it is a confusion. Zinzolin is fought multiple times in a relatively small window, and his team never changes. We just keep beating him. I get the sense that they wanted a villain, but as a sequel game to a gen that went all out on that, they didn’t really have anything they were willing to turn into a threat.

Really, I feel like a better path to pick would have been giving one of the Plasma grunts a different hat and having them be the captain of a very confused and angry crew. But eh, whatever.

....Oh. You.

Why is the most anime hair dude in the game so gosh darn forgettable?

For the sake of my flawed memory, he wants to bring out the full potential of pokemon, and is willing to us whatever means are necessary. The only question is which approach actually yields results.

I like you, Colress. I am never going to remember you, but I like you.

Good grief his theme sounds like it came out of Phantasy Star.

First up is a level 50 Magneton. Caspet’s an okay choice, so I’ll just Shadow Ball it. Magneton Thunder Waves Caspet, then uses Volt Switch to swap in Beheeyem (also level 50), who takes a Shadow Ball and dies instantly.

Sorry, ‘faints.’

A level 50 Metang is switched in next. Out of twitchiness over Caspet’s paralyzed state, I put Nessy in and go with Surf. Metang uses Agility from the red. Colress uses a Full Restore. Metang hits a Zen Headbutt, but Nessy has the last laugh.

Ugh. Colress is going to send in a Magnezone. Stormy’s the best answer to that, I think. Stormy knows Hammer Arm. It hits, but like everything I hate, Magnezone has Sturdy. A Bullet Punch handles that.

A level 52 Klinklang is next. His only thing over 50. Stormy is paralyzed thanks to Magnezone, but a Hammer Arm that hits should end it, and I don’t think Klinklang knows anything that’s a threat.

Even if Stormy feels like being paralyzed.

Only once, though. Hammer Arm + Bullet Punch does the job, and we only have that pesky Magneton left.

Hammer Arm and we are done.

Please don’t make me fight another one of these clowns. I don’t wanna.

Aw heck, Russell’s having his moment with Purrloin drama. And I guess I’m not fighting robe dude. It’s all ninja for now. With my four pokemon who aren’t paralyzed. Maybe I should have fixed that.

:(

For real though, our rival’s plotline here is pretty dang sad. He wants his little sister’s pokemon back, and by the time he finds it, it isn’t hers anymore. It’s had an entirely different life without them, probably committing crime. Because it’s been told to.

This is why you get the pirate Plasmas and the knight Plasmas. It’s fantastic that you, the protagonist, has a crew of pokemon perfectly happy fighting and doing whatever you want. But living things being forced to do whatever you want them to because you happened to throw a ball at them is pretty screwed up.

There’s not really a satisfactory conclusion to all of this, since critique of a game mechanic that is never going to stop being a game mechanic doesn’t get to start dramatic revolutions regarding that mechanic, but it’s all very sad and sobering.

That pretty ice tho.

BUT WHERE IS THE PROTAGONIST FROM THE LAST GAME.

No, but thank you N. I was not ready to die at the hands of Kyurem. Your assistance is much appreciated, and pretty great in your sequel. Props.

Gee, that looks bad.

Cue dramatic anime battle sequence.

Followed by anime transformation sequence.

Welp. Time to kill you. Let’s just hope I can.

...Stormy. I think I might want you to tackle this. To the front you go.

But really.

So damn cool.

It’s dead now, but so. cool.

There are too many fights going on. I think I wouldn’t mind in a normaly playthrough, but for a Nuzlocke, this is needlessly stressful and I am not a fan also I beat Ghetsis in the last game and it wasn’t fun then, either.

He has six pokemon, and he opens with a level 50 Cofagrigus. That is not Stormy’s friend. Nessy, if you would. Hydro Pump hits. Toxic hits from the other side, and I will deal with that in a moment, after the Cofagrigus is gone.

Ghetsis, naturally, uses a Full Restore.

Nessy handles it in the end, but is down to 73 health. Eelektross is coming out next. Time to switch. To... uh. I’ll give Photon a whirl. Feeling lucky, I use Outrage, and Eelektross faints.

Ah. Hydreigon is out next.

That is a nasty type combo for my team to deal with. I think. Geez, mark this where I have all the regrets, but Photon’s staying in to murder the Hydreigon with Outrage. Ganbatte.

IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE AND A CRITICAL HIT, GOOD JOB PHOTON.

Seismitoad is next. Diego, time for you and your Magical Leaf to shine. Shine they do, and we’re on to Drapion, which I will leave to Photon. Two Air Slashes make their mark, and all that’s left is Toxicroak, so in you stay Photon.

AND WE’RE DONE HERE, SCREW YOU GHETSIS!

But where is that certain Trainer, N????

Anyway, with that, it looks like the plot portion of this Nuzlocke is over. All that’s left is heading up to challenge the Elite Four.

I think a battle like that can have its own part.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 5]

Half the badges means halfway finished, right?

No. No, it never means that.

The squad:

Caspet (Haunter)

Puff (Dratini)

Nessy (Milotic)

Boruto (Ninjask)

Omchomp (Eelektrik)

I’m rooting for you, team.

Hello Pirate Plasma.

One of them has a Watchdog.

Caspet, kill.

Good Caspet.

And so the day is saved! Thanks to... Me and Russell!

Oh, wait, hold off on the exclamation points. Russell is giving the sad backstory talk about how his little sister was given a Purrloin as a gift, then Team Plasma stole it. Cue Russell feeling so sad and helpless, and now he wants to be strong and not helpless, and believes in the power of friendship backing him up.

It’s like Nintendo took every single villain code it could get its hands on and threw it on a good big bro who depends on his buddies.

Aw heck I think I need to have a Rotation Battle with Hearbreaker Charles before the bridge opens up. Also known as that battle type that takes three pokemon. Hoo boy. Okay. Let’s. Let’s try this.

It could and has been worse.

Hey, success. Nice work, Caspet. Sorry Puff gets all the exp from it. He’s smol. He needs it.

Bridge opened up, so that means... new friend time!

Duuuuuuude!

Want.

Hey hey hey hey I caught him!

Now what’re we naming you... Vertex!

Say what you will, Pokemon mook villains are charming as heck with some of their dialogue. You kids would have so much fun larping. Stop bringing real theft into it and have a grand ol’ time.

The Knight Plasma promises to tell me a story about the conflict if I visit their house. I shall do that momentarily. For now, the Pokemon Center calleth.

Okay it’s been a lot of weeks since that last sentence, so I really need to read up a bit and see where I’m at.

Hm.

I’m gonna wander around training stuff. Boruto needs a move that isn’t Leech Life.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S WINTER! THE GAME SAYS IT’S WINTER!

SNOW!

SNOW.

Oh, and I guess I should check that I have Poke Balls.

Yeah, okay, good.

Exploring time.

There’s this hotel on this block that I have zero memory of.

Exploration indicates that’s because there’s nothing of value in it.

We ended up fighting Charles again and now Caspet knows Shadow Ball. I might cry. Thank you, Caspet. Thank you for being alive.

Hope. It beckons.

But that means it’s time for Boruto to have the Exp. Share.

Cool, I don’t care.

Oh, in a battle.

Hoo boy. Fingers crossed.

Sure, let’s do this.

Level 27 Herdier. Not too bad, then.

...It knows Crunch.

That takes Caspet down to almost half, so Vertex can start earning his keep against the Swoobat. Good boy, Vertex, you didn’t die. Yay.

Russell appears and sad talks about former Team Plasma folks trying to do right happen. They are sad and Russell is sad and it’s all very sad.

Aw dang it. Rood offers us a Zorua. We don’t get to take it because it isn’t randomized. So much sadness all in this one building. In a weird way I’m sort of happy to see more of Knight Team Plasma. Some of them really were on N’s side, and some of them really did realize that pokemon could be their friends. It’s an oversimplification, but it’s really sweet.

I can’t go south until I have the town badge, which I can’t get because Clay’s off doing Clay things somewhere.

Gimme something that won’t die, game.

My team is going to be nothing but Electric types by the end. Also lol I forgot to heal I am suddenly much happier that this is a Pikachu.

Pikachu’s new name is Rynalds. Bye forever, Rynalds.

Cofagrigus was also an option.

Welp.

There’s also Exploud. And Alakazam.

Cool, I have a Moon Stone now.

...How the heck am I supposed to train my party. Exp. Share and letting the big kids handle it is the surest path to insanity I can come up with, but I seriously need my team to be useful beyond its top two.

Boruto still doesn’t know anything useful.

You know what he does know now?

Swords Dance.

You are a disappointment to Boruto’s Dad, Boruto. Which I guess is me, in this universe.

I’ve reached the dark grass, so let’s see if there are easier training opportunities here.

Dusknoir! Hey, I had one of you! Flaffy, Bastiodon, Tirtouga, Volcarona

Puff’s going to take the lead and Dragon Rage things to death while I’m next to a healing house. He’s going to need a ton of exp anyway, he might as well contribute to the cause of his friends.

None of you have good moves. Caspet better not die.

...Okay, five minutes into this, do I have any good TMs...?

No. I do not.

We enter the cave for hope of a change in fortune.

!

And it’s a male Ralts!

...Wait. Do I have a Dawn Stone?

I see this theoretically ending very sadly for me.

Caught, though. His new name is Diego and he will be very loved.

. . . . . . . .

-stumbles through the door several months later-

Ultra Sun possessed all my interest and my Nuzlocke ways got put on hold for flying through wormholes. So it’s been way too long, but since this is done over text that’s not too obvious, right?

Oh, and during my off-time, it wasn’t something I looked up thanks to that being against the rules, but I remembered that it’s Caspet’s Poison typing that’s a problem against Psychic. Yay for that brief mystery concluding.

Now where the heck am I.

Right. Grinding and caves and not quite ready to talk to Bianca.

And it’s Summer now, according to the game’s clock. I wish that were true in the outside world as well. It’s cold.

If I had a Dawn Stone, I think I would add Diego to the squad. Omchomp is beloved and etc., but I won’t claim to be horribly attached, and Ralts’ every evolution has a spot in my heart that Pokemon Go can’t fill because I’m not wasting 100 candy on anything less than 93% perfection.

Only as much as I love Gardevoir, Gallade is so cool and I only get to pick one, aaaand... Yeah, okay, nothing’s being swapped out yet. Back to grinding. Back to hoping that Boruto learns literally any STAB attack.

Why does this keep happening. Ah, and this is not something Puff should be anywhere near. Arguably nothing on my team should be anywhere near it. #grinding_problems.

You know, I’m beginning to remember why I wasn’t in a hurry to pick this run back up.

Boruto learns Slash.

Heck, I’ll take it.

Uh oh.

Oooooooh I am become error.

The logic behind this was that Puff’s been in front against Kyurem constantly before Nessy gets switched in, and all it ever uses is Ancient Power. If it had anti-Dragon stuff, it’d be using it, right?

Hoo boy.

Sorry, Puff.

Like. It’s been a while, so I don’t remember much of you, and I’m kind of relieved I’m not stuck with something that takes so long to gain levels anymore, but ow.

K, Vertex goes in and we are running now.

All the way back to a Pokemon Center.

Really, really sorry, Puff.

What am I going to do without Dragon Rage... the one true grind power.

Rynalds, Frill, or Diego. Those are my choices.

In you go, Diego. I would prefer a Gallade, but that doesn’t much matter at this point.

It could be much, much worse. This run started with way worse. This is fine. It’s fine. Absolutely fine. Does not make me dream of Exp. Share that affects the entire team at all.

These are my happy tears. Obviously.

...

See. I thought to myself, “It probably knows Fire Blast.” Then I thought to myself, “Sure it can learn it, but it’s a low level legendary. Speaking from experience, those things have jack for moves. Boruto will be fine.”

Then Boruto was not fine.

Lava Plume.

Oh, and a critical hit for good measure.

I have nothing to say.

But Omchomp is going in the designated survivor box, and I’m not replacing anyone in the current lineup. I’m just. I’m gonna train these four. And. Make that work somehow. It’s too early to get caught up in everything dying during grinding.

Neat, Diego’s cave has Charizard. And Seviper. Bayleef. Probopass.

Vertex could maybe handle being Diego’s training partner... let’s give that a try instead of bloating Nessy’s level even further.

And the first thing a Charizard does is Dragon Rage the 84 health thing.

This continues to be a very long trial.

Back to Autumn.

My son. You shall be the most beautiful ballerina.

Okay, things starting to feel a bit more positive? A bit more like it might all be okay? Yeah! Let’s go! Grind them feet into the field!

Did I know there was Alakazam in the normal grass outside Chargestone? Because there is. And I have a Gardevoir in need of tutelage. Well great, at least now I know where I’m grinding.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DID THE RANDOMIZER SETTINGS RIGHT!

GENGAR GET!

No more Eviolite for Caspet, which. Well, sure, it stresses me out to only have as much Defense as Caspet really has, but maybe I’ll pick something up along the line that helps with that. You never know.

Back to the grind.

...With the stray thought that this is much less necessary with the four I have. I’d like Vertex over 30, but realistically, Caspet and Nessy are enough to deal with a lot, and Diego’s getting there.

I’ll get Vertex over 30 and hit go on the plot button.

Oh wait. Diego’s only offensive move is Magical Leaf.

Aaaaah, ghosts of Boruto’s past...

Eh, let’s just talk to Bianca.

She says nothing of interest to those who already know you can push Chargestone Cave’s rocks around.

So, I’ve just realized that I can fight Clay now, probably, and because I’m largely making myself sad doing non-plot activities, I’m going to give that a go. Nessy is overleveled and suited for it. I’ll give her a Mystic Water. Vertex can carry the Exp. Share for a bit.

And down we go.

I have no memory of this place. It is dark.

Better, but I think I like the previous games’ setup of this gym more. Aesthetically. I hated moving around it, but it was all very pretty. This has too much dark to roll with the pretty much.

Okay, first fight! Let’s see if I should actually be trying this.

First and only pokemon is a level 31 Baltoy. I think we’re good.

Geez. There are too many platforms here. Gym, I am disappoint.

Nessy.

Carry.

First out is a level 31 Krokorok. One Water Pulse downs it. Following that up is a level 31 Sandslash, and in the spirit of optimism and needing exp, Diego’s going to try to Magical Leaf it into submission. One isn’t enough, and Clay uses a Hyper Potion on his next turn. Next Magical Leaf after undoing that does the trick, and I think we’re bringing out Nessy next to contend with the Excadrill.

The level 33 Excadrill.

Nessy’s 38, if I haven’t mentioned it this post.

...Wow. One Water Pulse later, and we’re done with Clay.

Yaaaaay.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 8]

No grinding, no life. The Bill Gaiden Island thingamajig that starts after you beat Blaine has begun, and in the spirit of really wanting our team not to die, we’re running around doing things we don’t care about.

That’s the summary of this whole run.

Kindle Road is a much cooler name. Why didn’t you just name the whole island that, instead of shoving it onto the beach area?

Also, I guess this means a new route!

...With... a Tentacool!

New route, old problems.

Thanks to Blaine, Zaft is now the lowest level of the party at 41. Accordingly, Zaft gets to be up front for this adventure. Good luck, Zaft. We believe in you and so on.

Our belief is immediately rewarded with a level 35 Psyduck. Then another. At 36. Then a level 37 Golduck. Not bad. Zaft thanks you for your sacrifice.

Back on ground, Picnicker Claire wants to throw down. Starting with a level 35 Meowth. Then another level 35 Meowth. Pikachu. Clefairy. Bringing home the win is Zaft once more.

There are a bunch of rocks around here. Does anyone know Rock Smash.

...Okay, fake question.

Can a Pidgey learn Rock Smash?

..

tfw the real question is whether or not I have Rock Smash. I seem not to. Fine.

Camper Bryce!

He has a level 36 Nidorino that looks like a job for... uh. Not Zaft. Po, play nice. Sprinkle gets the Sandslash. Since we’re switching things up, the Raticate can go to Allenby.

I still keep wondering if someone sits down and renames every single NPC based on localization. Keeps me up at night. Anyway, puny level 35 Shellder, you are no match for Zaft. The Cloyster is slightly more intimidating, but that means nothing. Same to the level 38 Wartortle.

A wild double battle appears, so Heero and Allenby go up front. Against Crush Kin Mik & Kia’s level 39 Machoke and Primeape. Yeah, that’s a bit more intimidating. But nowhere near enough.

More Fighting trainers ahead, so Heero stays up front. Have fun, little one.

Black Belt Shea has a level 38 Machop. You mock me, sir. The Machoke is better.

Of the many things you could call Red’s outfit of choice, I’m not sure ‘frivolous’ fits. Black Belt Hugh. Another Machop, but this one’s level 37. Heero takes the food as a sign to learn Slash. Bye, Metal Claw. You were not very helpful. Machoke’s up next. Heero treats it similarly.

Back in the grass, I encounter a Fearow. But Spearow’s line has a check next to it for this run, so we’re still waiting for the proper first encounter for Kindle Road.

IT’S A PONYTA. CATCH IT CATCH IT CATCH IT.

CAUGHT IT.

RISE, FUUNSAIKI.

This is the only part of the run that matters.

Back to the fighting, where Crush Girl Tanya wants a fight. She has a level 38 Hitmonlee. Heero eats it. She has a level 38 Hitmonchan. Heero eats it. A good day is had.

Crush Girl Sharon is next. With a level 37 Mankey. Then a Primeape. I’m sensing a theme with some of these people.

I’m going to be so full of hatred if this extra bit has enough routes for me to fill my Pokedex to 50. RIP Exp. Share. But apparently the Ember Spa is for healing only. Tragic.

We return to water, and so Zaft returns to the front of the squad.

Swimmer Finn’s level 38 Starmie vs Zaft. Ready, fight.

It ain’t much of a fight, let me tell you that.

Swimmer Maria has a level 37 Seadra. Naisu. Then another. This extra area likes me.

Fisherman Tommy has five pokemon, which. I do not think I’ll like. The first one is a level 33 Goldeen. Suspicions confirmed. There’s another one. Allenby, in the spirit of you not becoming obsolete, I think you can take this Trainer. Seaking, level 35. Another Seaking. One last Seaking. Good, that’s over.

I have no memory of this place.

It seems like I need HMs.

I don’t wanna need HMs.

Even though the old man in the spa gave m the Rock Smash one.

Team Rocket is also here.

...Can Pidgey learn Strength?

Hm. Much like Rock Smash, it cannot.

Well. To the PC, I guess.

Hey Bill, what the fuck.

I guess. Uh. The map says there’s another place south of this island, so I guess I’ll explore that and then sadly proceed to whatever it was that Bill wanted me to do for him.

Swimmer Amara, who is presumably not in love with her cousin, has a level 36 Seel. Not anymore. Oh wait, she has another one. Now she’s out, because her last pokemon is a Dewgong.

Is this place named Treasure Beach because I’m expected to use this gen’s terrible Itemfinder. Because I don’t like this gen’s Itemfinder. I don’t like it at all.

Psyduck, I have you. Get out. Spearow, please stop. Tangela, interesting, but no. Fearow, I don’t have you, but the species clause is our hill to die on.

...Can I catch anything on this island? Beach? Thing?

Serebii says no.

Sigh.

I hate this fucking Itemfinder.

I guess I’m done with things here for now.

...Were these originally in English?

I just feel like they might have been.

And then I got a fetch quest for a lost child.

Her name is Lostelle.

The Pokemon Center’s PC doesn’t work either.

Bill.

Get it together.

Ugh. I can’t remember if this is a good idea in a Nuzlocke. 5 PP and 90 accuracy. PP is something I actually worry about in this gen and with this set of limitations.

but 150 damage

;-;

Oh wait, the user can’t do anything the next turn.

Sorry Heero, no Blast Burn.

Good news, there’s a level 14 Poliwag in the water. Its name Rab now.

And once again, I’m out of things to do on this island, so I guess I’m heading to the next one in hopes that it contains Bill’s quest stuff that gives me back the access to my PC.

Oh, sorry, Bill’s PC. -_-

Bill, this island getaway you dragged a ten-year-old along with you on is found wanting.

The Bill Gaiden is the strangest part of this anime.

Hey, Three Island’s PC works! Imagine that!

Anyway, we’ve stepped into the stage of beating up Bikers. Because this is their island now.

The first Biker’s name is Goon. Somehow, this is still probably better than going directly to Giovanni. Goon has a level 37 Koffing. Then a Grimer that looks like Sprinkle’s.

Hence, the ordeal with Goon ends.

Oh wait.

They’re all named Biker Goon.

These guys are so basic they don’t get actual names. #2 has a level 38 Koffing and nothing else. Good for him. #3 has a level 38 Grimer.

Oh good, someone with an actual name.

For the sake of this argument, Paxton is a name. He has a level 39 Weezing. Followed by a Muk. Very on-brand. Sprinkle, go forth.

Aaaaand it’s over.

Okay, time to work out the HM problem. What out of what I have can learn both Rock Smash and Strength? And isn’t a member of my real party.

Gyarados (Altron), Onix (Athrun), Growlithe (Duo), Krabby (Tarle)--

Wait up. Tarle can learn Strength and Rock Smash, yes.

But.

She can also learn Cut.

Quatre, you are being replaced. Even though Ren is technically the one in your slot right now. Tarle! Welcome to the wide world of being an HM slave!

We return to our regularly scheduled grinding-that-is-not-called-grinding-because-of-the-limitations-set-by-this-run. With Twins Joy & Meg. They have a level 37 Clefairy each. I have a Sprinkle and Allenby.

Aroma Lady Violet wants to battle next. She should know better. She throws out a level 36 Bulbasaur. Ivysaur. Next one’s probably a Squirtle. ...No, it’s actually another Ivysaur. Dang it. I was expecting Venusaur. I don’t know why. This gen is very unkind to the NPCs’ pools.

Tuber Alexis has a level 34 Staryu. I have Zaft up front. Oh dear. Krabby, Krabby, Staryu, and done. Sorry kid. I’m taking your money.

Worst ten-year-old ever.

Aroma Lady Nikki is next with a level 37 Bellsprout. Goody. Heero time. Weepinbell is next, and lasts just as long.

Then it’s back to Water. Tuber Amira with... her level 34 Poliwag. Then level 35 Poliwhirl. That one’s a better choice, kid. But then the Poliwag brings it on back.

A Swimmer’s in the water, and what do we get? Tisha with a level 38 Kingler.

Oh. It’s over.

Heero switching to the front for now. As we enter the Berry Forest. Looking for a lost child. Sigh.

Damn it. Do I have to fight this?

Oh, cool, it let me run. Hee. The things you don’t try normally.

And through the power of completing a side quest, we return to Two Island. Now with HMs. Trees shudder before me. And wouldn’t you know that Lostelle’s dad is Bill’s friend? Yay, the quests are over. Time to smash rocks on One Island.

My reward is fighting Pkmn Ranger Beth. She has a level 38 Bellsprout. Gloom. Gloom. They’re gone now.

Hey, Mt. Ember wants me to have something nice! A Geodude first encounter! It’s level 7, but aren’t we all sometimes. I shall name him Arms.

Crush Girl Jocelyn wants a fight. She has a level 38 Hitmonchan, but I have a Heero. She has a second one. I still have a Heero.

Wolverine’s day job. He has a level 37 Exeggcute. Oooh, and then a level 40 Exeggutor. Nice, bro. They’re both gone.

I keep climbing this place.

I hope Moltres isn’t at the end.

I hope more trainers are.

Sigh. Back down we go.

Worse, I think after we talk to Bill... It might be Giovanni time.

After I quickly check if I could grab another Leftovers from the other Snorlax that isn’t Po.

Cool. Grabbed. Here, Sprinkle. You’re gonna be a player character here.

So.

I’m out of Trainers.

Okay.

The team.

I’m going to do whatever I can to keep you guys alive.

You’re actually the first trainer I found in here.

Cooltrainer Yuji. He starts with a level 38 Sandslash. Allenby, I’m wanting you to have opportunity, but really, I’m sensing that there might not be much point. You can have the Sandslash, though. Oh, and the Graveler. Sprinkle’s in the the Marowak. For Onix we can move back to Allenby. And then there’s a Graveler, and that’s good too.

I want to make sure you aren’t too weak for the winter, Allenby.

First trainer done.

Black Belt Atsushi, what do you have. ...A Machop. A level 40 Machop. Then Machoke. Allenby cleans the stage.

Okay, I think after this, Sprinkle’s in front, but if I have the chance to switch before a Black Belt, Allenby can be in front. I don’t want to divide the exp too much. Ridiculously overpowered individual pokemon is still the basic trend I’m fighting for. Sprinkle needs the levels more than Allenby.

One level 43 Rhyhorn. Sprinkle laughs.

Cooltrainer Warren is next. With five pokemon. Starting with a level 37 Marowak. Then a Rhyhorn, a Nidoqueen, a Nidorina, and another Marowak. Geez. I feel like I’m getting drunk on the exp. So little for so long. So much is such large pieces. It’s euphoric. This must be why people do drugs.

A Black Belt follows, so Allenby’s back up front against Black Belt... Takashi. He has a level 38 Machoke. I should really consider giving Allenby a primary Fighting move that isn’t Karate Chop. Machop’s next. Then another Machoke that I Allenby has lost enough HP to worry about. Heero.

I think that’s the end of trainers I can reach without going through the whirly maze. I don’t like the whirly mazes. Too much like Silph. Bad mojo.

But we have Sprinkle! What could possibly go wrong!

No.

Tamer Cole has a level 39 Arbok for some reason. Uh. Po, get over here. Then we have a Tauros, so surprise, Allenby, go get it. Allenby spends a ton of time confused and we’re all sad, but then it works out.

Another Black Belt, another Allenby.

And screw it, we’re in the final chapters. Allenby can have a TM. Brick Break replaces Karate Chop, because I was tired of one of my best Attackers not one-shotting things.

Black Belt Kiyo has one level 43 Machoke. Ready, Allenby?

Allenby slays, Sprinkle goes back in front.

Just in time for Cooltrainer Samuel. He has a level 37 Sandslash. A level 38 Rhyhorn. A level 39 Nidoking. A Nidorino I gift to Po. And a Sandslash brings Sprinkle back in. On to the next.

Oh.

First out is a level 45 Rhyhorn.

Yeah. This is going to be fine until it isn’t. I’m not looking forward to that moment. A level 50 Rhyhorn pops out, and again. Yeah. Oh good, his Nidoqueen is only 44. The Nidoking is 45 because these games can’t quite help being sexist.

A level 42 Dugtrio is... last?

Huh.

Sprinkle?

I’m glad I trained you.

Now then.

I won’t be arrogant enough to say I’ve almost won. I’m the one who lost two of my team to a random Gyarados I didn’t even need. But the number of things left is shrinking very quickly.

I think our rival decides to be a pain right before the League, so Zaft is up front in case of Pidgeot. Other than that, there’s not much I really can do, short of some TM shopping I might consider once I make it through Victory Road. A little on the fence for that, still.

I feel like we’ve done this before. :P

Hopefully this time won’t be too different.

Yep, Pidgeot first. At level 47. Ick. Spark isn’t enough to take it out all the way, so I think I might want to risk another of--okay, no. No to everything about that. No risking. Just heading on forward. That damn thing’s Quick Attack does enough damage to worry about it using other moves.

(Zaft needs another move. I thought one would’ve been learned by now...)

Great, Pidgeot down. And oh look, Turq has a Rhyhorn too. They’re very in this season. Sprinkle, if you wouldn’t mind... It’s level 45, which makes me feel slightly better about everything. Not by much, but I appreciate it.

Heero steps in for Exeggcute. It’s only 45, too.

Blastoise is up.

...Zaft. You’re using Light Screen first, but there are too few exp chances for me to spare you the risk of this one entirely. This is partially why you’re here at all.

It’s level 53. Okay. Zaft, you’re using Light Screen, hopefully living, and then not staying.

Blastoise used Rain Dance.

It is so fucking tempting to have Zaft stay in, but Zaft’s best move is Spark. Which is pretty inexcusable now that I think about it. My only attempt at an excuse would be that I could’ve sworn it was supposed to learn the whatever thing by now.

But in any case, Po. Tank us in.

His Blastoise knows Water Gun.

This game’s idea of balancing fear and actual balance is entertaining at times.

Wow, Body Slam did basically nothing. Oh well. The Blastoise can’t kill Po, so they’re staying locked in a room together until I get the outcome I want.

Po’s a good girl.

Turq’s Growlithe is still a Growlithe, so Allenby!

Alakazam is last. Heero, take the wheel. Hot level 47 v 47 action.

I win!

Hell. Those level differences do not make me happy. Hopefully the main threat is meant to be that three of them haven’t evolved yet, and will have by the end. Otherwise, I hope Victory Road is way more full of trainers than I remember. I do not like this.

...Also.

Hey, ZAFT.

........

Oooooooooh.

Guess who looked at the wrong gen of Electrode’s Pokedex entry?

Okay, first thing on my list next time? We’re getting you Thunderbolt. Because Electro Ball doesn’t exist right now. Uh. Sorry about that. Your crippling overspecialization is. perhaps. now crippling.

Look, let’s just focus on the highs.

I have all eight badges, and I beat my rival. I’m cleared to head through the League. Good, right? We’re all fine here.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 7]

It is time for badge number seven.

Lesgo.

Vertex (Luxray)

Caspet (Gengar)

Nessy (Milotic)

Diego (Gardevoir)

Photon (Rayquaza)

Cerberus (Dodrio)

Squad goals.

Why won’t Unova Gyms ever just let me leave?

And apparently I’m not going through Twist Mountain? I’m getting a lift on a plane?

If that’s the case, that’s happening later. I think I’m going to get Cerberus up to level 40 in the sad death tower before I do anything else. I don’t want to have members of my team lagging consistently. You will all be useful. I will make it happen.

Also, something I haven’t mentioned yet (...I think, it’s been a while to get this far) is that Pokemon Breeders in this gen seem to be available to fight every single time you enter that route. Not like you can fight them if you want. After beating them, if you leave and go back to the route, they will do the exclamation point thing.

This is annoying.

Route 7, also known as that place before the sad death tower, has one.

It is not irritating enough to conjure up hate for. And yet.

Flash forward into the future a bit later, and we have a team where everyone’s above or at 40 except for... Photon. Photon, my friend, we’re just gonna slap the Exp. Share on you and continue with the plot. Your legendary status means me stacking the deck with levels is less important.

I can’t believe this place has a purpose in this game. Or that I get to fly in a plane (I assume, my memory on the sequel games is even worse than my memory for Black and White starting out). There’s something weird about using a plane to get around in a Pokemon game. Doesn’t feel natural.

Oh well, too bad so sad.

...Lentimas Town.

I have no memory of this place.

Hey, Bianca’s coming with us! Yay!

I really have no memory of this place, but there’s some Fire pokemon in Reversal Mountain, apparently, and also Professor Juniper reminds everyone that Black and White happened, so it makes no sense for Team Plasma to be trying to wake up a dragon; they’re all accounted for after all.

My exploits from last game mattered, you guys. They really did happen.

No, but I’m easy to please. Any time the games reference games that happened in the past for the current game, I am made a happy camper. Us and N catching a legendary dragon each is a good thing to keep in continuity.

I’m starting to maybe remember this place... maybe?

I guess we don’t stay here long, so time to not really care. I do continue to like how the setting is not an exact copy of the previous games, though. There’s a lot of repetition that comes from this being a sequel, but everything’s been thought out well enough that it really does feel like a new journey.

Now see, my question is if there’s a cave to this Reversal Mountain, and is it marked with a different title. I’m catching something very soon, but do I have the option of picking between outside Reversal Mountain and inside, or do I... perchance... get both?

It’s probably just one and I should just march into the grass.

I don’t wanna.

Ah, but it looks like I have to step through grass anyway. But there is the option of dark grass vs. normal grass.

I am too battle-weary and scarred. Normal grass.

!!!! A Normal pokemon for the normal grass! Hi Miltank! Let us be the best of friends and not roll each other into death. Photon’s the best bet for not accidentally killing the little lady (I did not check this with numbers and have no plans to).

Only while I was typing, Miltank used Bide, and I missed that, so Nessy with her excellent HP had to go out and deal with the consequences of Photon’s one attack. Nessy and Twister are taking Miltank down at a safe rate. She’s in the orange, so throwing time.

While she’s using Rollout.

Of course.

Hey, first ball! We’re Pokemon Going over here!

Her name is Bessy. Because it is.

But whoops, I need to head back to the Pokemon Center for a hot second and get her out of the Graves box. You’re not dead yet, darling.

Dark grass has Luxio.

It also leads to a strange house instead of fun cave time.

See, right there in the title. Can has pokemon?

Coool. Want to join my gang?

Nessy and Twister seem to be an okay catching combo. Let’s see if we can get it working twice in a row.

Damn it, Nessy. Your first one left him in the green. The green. Sigh.

Farewell, unnamed shark friend.

(he woulda been bruce)

Ahoy random Gigalith in the upstairs of the house with the moving furniture I can’t cap because these are stills. Sadly I’m not in the mood to deal with Sturdy, so I’m going to run from those instead of harvesting them.

Awww, there’s a Castform downstairs. Plus a Spell Tag.

Then the furniture moves and clears up a doorway. Behind which is a trainer.

I feel like a lot of the NPCs we meet in these games have very hard lives. Hello Sentret in the middle of the room. Are you keeping this one company?

Ludicolo is in the front room.

Caspet learns Dark Pulse. Bye-bye, Night Shade.

Waaaaaait. Wait. Aren’t you the ghost girl from the bridge in the last games? I remember you! Is this where you get something to do instead of just being odd? Note that it doesn’t count if it’s an event thing that needs a code or internet or special event items!

She’s looking for her parents.

And her Abra.

....Then a wild Abra shows up.

Is that scripted, or did the Randomizer just give me an amazing gift?

Weepinbell back downstairs.

I go through another door, and get a Full Heal for my trouble. With added wild Octillery. Fuck you, Octillery. You are banned from all my runs forever.

Ooooo wild Haxorus. Look at all these things I can’t have. Downstairs has a stray Riolu. The trouble I go through for a... Dusk Stone. Yeah, okay, that’s nice to have. Toxicroak is also here.

Then back upstairs, suddenly Gible. What’s this place usually supposed to have?

The second floor’s chairs have moved, so I go through one of the upstairs doors. Another trainer room. Yay. With a Mr. Mime. Yay.

I’m really sorry about your life/undeath, NPC Ghost Girl.

Oh, neat. Lunar Wing.

I have no memory of which legendary that belongs to. I want to guess Cresselia, but I don’t know if it’s even in this game. I do know it’s a gen four legendary, which would make sense for the sidequest feel of this house.

Oh wait it doesn’t matter because Randomized Nuzlocke.

...Well fine, but I’d still like to know.

That makes me feel surprisingly sad.

One last door to check out. Empty but for Golett (want) and a Rare Candy. Time to leave.

Back outside there’s an Exeggcute I wouldn’t have wanted. The normal grass has Whismur.

There was a cave after all. Ugh. I can’t believe this counts as the same route as outside. Cave and grass should get to be different.

Heeey! Bianca! Wait, before we team up and I abuse your healing for exp, I need to check the other side of the cave.

Oh. The other side of the cave has a Max Repel and that’s it. Back to Bianca, I guess. And she’s psyched for Heatran, which is a very relatable feel.

Zoroark and Tangrowth for the first encounter of the cave. I say, pretending it matters. Stoutland can also be found here. Knowing their propensity for knowing Crunch, I think maybe something not Caspet can be in the front. Photon, gain your own exp for a change.

Crawdaunt is another feature. It’s a dark, Dark cave.

I was checking to see if Cerberus can learn Acrobatics. No, but he can learn Fly. You know, that classic Dodrio usage. Fly. Which he is absolutely learning.

Aww, a wild Togepi. It’s gone now.

I love getting to wander with someone who handles the healing. It’s so nice battling without stress. Also known as grinding without needing to use up items.

Haa. See, normally you’d be right, but.

Huh. There’s a Magikarp and a Weedle through a different passage. Neat. You will not be missed. Then we come across a bizarrely gen-appropriate pair of Tympole.

Can Triple Battles not be a thing? I don’t care for them. They make me worry. Arguably I could help myself by arranging my team so I would have a good comp for whenever I fell into one, but where would the fun in that sane choice be.

Dust clouds come with Munchlax. Neato.

We’re in a legendary’s nest. They’re all like this.

...Why can you find Luxray and Ninjask here???

Ditto for Steelix and Porygon. Yay for Randomizer randomizing every single room of an area. It’s cool, but in the larger places it can be really disorienting. A male Nidoran also says hello.

I don’t know where to find the Magma Stone to get Heatran, so we’re done with Reversal Mountain, I believe. Geez I hope that’s the name of this place. I’m too lazy to check at the moment.

I have escaped!

And found a Shiny Stone. Win.

I didn’t recognize this place, then I remembered. Water. Bay. Post-game trauma. They messed with the map to keep things interesting.

What.

My curiosity is piqued.

But I want to get something random in the waves before I investigate.

Um.

Well this is awkward.

Level 39.

Photon should not be out front for this. Nessy?

Okay. Nessy gets Regice in the red. Regice knows Curse and Ancient Power. I do have a Master Ball. I can’t deny that I’m seriously tempted by it, but we’re going to try doing this like a standard trainer first.

Net Ball doesn’t work because of course it doesn’t (I just wanted to use it because Surfing), and Regice knows Superpower. Ah yes, the Regis and their. Stuff. First Ultra Ball doesn’t get anywhere. Same for second. Icy Wind is Regice’s last move.

My team has no Fire or Fighting on it. I miss having those options.

Have I been able to buy Timer Balls anywhere? Those would be nice to have right about now, as my Ultra Ball supply dwindles.

I am out of Ultra Balls.

Look, Pokemon Go legendary catching can be rough. You only get so many balls, and even if you do everything perfectly, it still might run on you.

But you don’t end up spending twenty minutes trying to catch one thing.

Seconds after I type that:

Heeeeeyo.

What do I name it, though?

Refrigerator.

That doesn’t fit.

Refriger8r.

Okay, so I have to stock up on Ultra Balls, and possibly also healing options depending on my mood when I look at the prices. Then we go see what Undella Bay and Route 14 have to offer.

The Undella Pokemon Center only has Luxury and Dive Balls. :(

My beloved Timer. Where...?

And then I bought 50 Ultra Balls.

I’m going to sell some stuff.

Okay Bay, what do you have for me?

Yeah, I can make this work.

Assuming I don’t accidentally kill it.

Thank goodness for Nessy still knowing Twister. Gottem.

His name is now Zentrotta. I think we can agree he’d be happier if I hadn’t caught him. Tragedy at its finest.

Caspet is back up front, and for now Nessy will carry the Exp. Share. She’s not had much to go up against, so she’s lagging a tad.

Aw, there’s a little Deerling on the water. Aaand it’s gone.

Hello what is this.

Indeed.

...I have questions I can’t really make myself care about enough to type.

So this guy only moves if we beat him, and before we get the chance to beat him we have to pass some game-acknowledged strength test. I probably need another badge or something. But there’s enough ground to walk back and forth, so what have you got for me, Seaside Cave?

Cool beans.

Nessy, come help not kill it.

Yay, caught.

His name is Blimperton now. Welcome to the box.

Outside, the deep water spots can be Venomoth. How pleasant.

Jelli to you too, good sir.

Huh, okay, they just give you a random Jellicent encounter here.

Game. I was just trying to speed along to the Pokemon Center. Please.

Unfezant down, Simisage down, Vertex can be in for Samurott. Level 41, so I’m. not as overleveled as I usually am except for Caspet. Caspet has reached 47 and I don’t mind her being completely overpowered.

For an update, since I think I’m pretty bad about keeping track of their levels in this: Caspet is 47, Nessy is 43, Vertex is 43, Diego is 44, Photon is 45, Cerberus is 43. Everyone is healthy and alive.

Geez I hate Triple Battles. Random trainers don’t share my feelings. This is an annoyance.

ROTATION BATTLES AREN’T THAT MUCH BETTER, OTHER RANDOM TRAINER. STOP THINKING YOU’RE SPECIAL JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ACE OR A COOL OR WHATEVER THE HECK YOUR TITLE IS I DIDN’T READ IT.

And I can’t continue down through Route 14 because there’s a block of people in the way. So I guess all that’s left to do is check out what the sequel to this route has in store for me.

Last game it did not have anything I wanted.

But this time...!

Eh. I’ll catch you I guess.

Her name’s Tux now.

Meanwhile, in the dark grass...

Yep.

Wormadam, too. Such grass. Much excite.

Off up to Route 13.

New route means yet another new pokemon. ...After we fight a bunch of trainers because I care more about levels than pokemon I’m hoping to never use at the moment.

Several minutes later, the only other trainers are through grass, so let’s go!

Eyo. I don’t think I’ve had you before.

Cerberus, are you up for helping?

Well, one hit almost took half your health. So let’s say no.

Nessy!

...You know, given the amount of damage it’s doing. I think I’m going to Surf and risk fainting before it kills Nessy. Aaand... yeah. Mienshao out.

This grass also has Sandile. And Cascoon.

Nothing I have knows Cut. Languish there for all days.

That Ranger wants a Triple Battle.

Why is this route like this.

Hey, a Heatran! Bianca, guess what!

Oh so you don’t need Cut. Meh. I’m not in the mood.

Professor Juniper and Bianca say hello in town. Bianca, walk about twenty steps to the right so you can find something neat. You’ll love it, promise.

But no, it’s time to listen to an old lady talk about the Giant Chasm. I don’t wanna do that, either. I want my badges. I maybe should have taken the aquarium route to speed that along, but I don’t know if that would actually do anything.

Wait, I was spamming A. Was there a directive in there?

Hm. I sense plot ahead.

This villain understands me.

Oh cool battle time.

Russell, buddy, you run almost as much as blondie scarf from gen 4. Take a chill pill. You have won all the good big brother points you possibly could just by caring about a Purrloin this long.

So everything’s telling us to go to Opelucid. For Dragons.

Hard pass, where’s the surfer Gym? Water sounds way friendlier. I’m going to see if that one’s blocked off or not.

DAMN IT.

The janitor won’t let us pass. ;-;

Okay fine, I guess we’re heading to Opelucid. And plot, probably. The plot is of no interest to me. This is true in pretty much every single one of these games. I’m in it for the pokemon. The human with their human troubles are way less fun.

New route! What will it have for us?

I had to embrace fun when I saw one of the grass patches shaking. Our first route with a wiggly grass option! And it is...?

I’ll gladly take it!

...If I can catch it!

...Preferably without anyone dying!

I’m going to let Photon take a stab. Crunch should be super effective, but Photon doesn’t have STAB adding to it, and Metagross has rocking Defense. So this might be pathetically sad, but nothing should die.

PHOTON.

FRIEND.

NOT FOOD.

Three Ultra Balls in, I am sad.

But we get it! Huzzah!

Its name is Stormy. :)

Ouch, Caspet’s trying to learn Destiny Bond.

Caspet?

You’re not dying. This is the definition of a useless move.

What else does this here grass hold when it’s not wiggling?

ELEKID. Noooo. Why must we always pass like ships in the night... Claydol is also here.

The dark grass’ first entry is Jynx and Magikarp. Chingling is also here. Buizel too.

Cerberus has learned Drill Peck! Oh happy days!

Normal grass has Vaporeon, Huntail, and Spinda to go with what we’ve already seen.

Vertex is moving up front, and Diego is getting the Exp. Share instead of Cerberus for the time being.

Another bridge, another route.

Another set of trainers that really make me want to have a Fire type.

There’s dark grass on one side of the bridge, normal grass on the other. A pass through on my bike didn’t get anything to pop out of the dark grass, so normal grass wins the prize for this route’s catch.

Before that, there are trainer battles.

Of the Triple variety.

yay

Ooooooh. I like this. I like this a lot.

Vertex, do not murder.

Vertex follows instructions, paralyzes Vileplume, and dodges getting poisoned twice. This is why he’s allowed to live. One Ultra Ball later, and new friend acquired.

Named... Bongo.

Geez, this grass also has Mamoswine. We’re not fighting that. The water’s dark spots get Zebstrika.

Uh.

So she shoves me out.

Rude. I’m the protagonist. I go where I want.

I’m starting to rush a little since this part is getting long and I haven’t even hit the badge town, but hey! I do remember this sequence! I remembered it belonging to a different game, but A for effort, right?

Made it to Opelucid.

Since the game itself suggests via Iris to go to Route 9 first, I’m guessing I should clear up anywhere that offers trainers to fight before trying the Gym. Dragon is a pain anyway. I don’t have anything except Nessy’s Twister that’s super effective against it. I think even at the level I’m at, it should be okay, but I also think it could go incredibly badly, which I don’t want.

But before that, Route 11 didn’t force me to go through any grass, so I still have a pokemon to catch there. Let’s watch.

Huh, interesting. ...Vertex, let’s swap you out before something unfortunate happens. Though it is level 36, and he does know Crunch... Yeah, we’re going to be stupid. Magnitude 7 doesn’t do a threatening amount of damage. Yay.

She is caught, and her name shall be Winn.

Now the other side of Opelucid, after healing up.

Miltank! But we have a Miltank. Next.

I like.

Vertex. Critical hits are for trainer battles. Sigh. Farewell, Route 9. I think we could have been great together, but alas. Now to go through all the everything else to do in this route and then go finally get the seventh badge.

Hm. I think maybe I’ll just get everyone on the team up to 50, then go for it. Nice, even number.

Other things of note: I have found a Mart with Quick Balls. The world is bright. But for now, grinding. ...Against Torchic and Deerling, apparently. Maybe I want other grass. Oh, but dude. Glaceon in the dark grass. Nice. Ha, randomized and still offering super effective options outside scary gyms. Golduck and Nidorina are here, too. And Braviary and Pansage.

-winds the clock forward a few hours-

K, we’ve got folks at level 50 now. So, Drayden?

Dragons.

Cerberus is going to sit in first for a while. He’s on the fragile side, but his Attack and Speed are good, and Flying should be neutral to everything in the Gym. Same cloth as Caspet, only physical. Nessy might take over just for the comfort of tankiness, but this is where we start.

First person in the Gym has one level 46 Fraxure.

Dragons are scary.

Oh fuck you.

Fuck. That’s partially on me. If I had used Drill Peck instead of Fly, Fraxure would have been busy Dragon Dancing and would have done zero damage. But I used Fly to try to hit Fraxure hard while avoiding any of its attacks, and.

Look, the screencap’s right there.

Fuck.

Nessy’s going in, under the theory that nothing on my team is going before Dragon Dance x2 Fraxure, but Nessy’s the most likely option for surviving.

It uses Taunt so it doesn’t matter.

Great.

Great.

Cerberus, I like Dodrio. An Adamant Dodrio? Wonderful. You will be missed. Fly will be missed. Many things about this feel awful.

Bye.

Stormy is a Jolly Metagross that’s a little quick tempered.

Welcome. You’ll be given the Exp. Share while your new friends try very hard to make it through the rest of this Gym without casualties.

-drums fingers-

With Dragon Dance being a move everything in this Gym is probably going to know, I do not want to play the long game with any of the trainers. I want to go in and kill everything in one hit.

...Caspet is in front.

-hides eyes behind hands-

-gives Caspet a Spell Tag-

One trainer down as planned.

IIIIIII hate this gym.

Druddigon has Crunch. Things to keep in mind.

So now we have the most obnoxious part of this Gym. I get to choose between Rotation and Triple Battle for the next peg up it. My usual path says I do both. In case you haven’t noticed, I hate Triple Battles. Doing one is not high on my list of desired outcomes.

But I’d feel weird avoiding it. Famous last words. -sigh- Caspet, Vertex, Nessy. That’s the order. Let’s do this.

Easy part done. Rotation Battle win. Ugh.

For the sake of my sanity, I’m giving Caspet all three of my Rare Candy. Yes, I have a favorite, yes, it’s the closest thing I have to a starter. If I’m putting her so close to the chopping block, I’m going to make sure she’s fully equipped. Druddigons are surviving to attack her right now, and that’s no bueno.

Triple Battle. Weeee.

It ends in a round because Caspet wins at life. Awesome. Okay.

All that’s left is Drayden.

This guy’s face is a lot less scary when it isn’t up close.

Sooooooo. Level 46 Druddigon is first. Shadow Ball finishes it. Flygon is next. ...That one, I think I can trust to Nessy. Flygon isn’t as much about hard hits.

Level 46 again. Crunch gets a critical hit that just barely keeps Nessy in the green, Nessy uses Surf. Surf brings Flygon to a sliver of red, so I go with Surf again. Hopefully Flygon’s other moves don’t do more damage than a critical hit Crunch, or Drayden feels like healing it.

Yeah, Drayden goes with a Hyper Potion.

...Flygon’s next Crunch gets a critical hit too, what the hell.

Surf after that faints it, though. So that’s two out of three down.

Drayden’s last pokemon is Haxorus. Nessy’s too far in the red to keep in without healing, and Haxorus is high on the Dragon Dance strat list. But if Caspet can’t get it in one hit, I’m pretty confident in Haxorus’ ability to fuck Caspet up.

But I’m honestly pretty confident in Haxorus’ ability to fuck my entire team up. Caspet would be the best bet for ending it fast. ...So, you know. Caspet. Go. Go. not die.

Level 48 Haxorus. Yaaaaaaaaaaay.

CASPET YOU BEAUTIFUL GHOST.

THAT’S BADGE SEVEN.

WE’RE NOT ALL ALIVE BUT ENOUGH OF US ARE.

AND I WAS PREWARNED ABOUT GETTING TALKED TO OUTSIDE ABOUT UNOVA’S MYTHOLOGY, BUT FOR NOW THIS PART IS OVER, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon FireRed Nuzlocke [Part 3]

Third segment of grindlocke.

We’re about to board some boat, where lies our only source of experience before Surge’s Gym. Also our rival. Aside from one Diglett that demanded murder, we’ve kept to not fainting anything outside of battles.

Things are probably about to get even harder. Current team, we salute you.

I really hope there’s lots of people in here.

Youngster Tyler counts as a people. He has a level 21 male Nidoran. I. Crud, I want to try out Ismail. The Poison just makes me twitchy each time, even though I’ve got a decent level advantage. Ismail manages it in one shot. Yay Magnitude.

Lass Ann is on the right ship, and she has a level 18 Pidgey. The female Nidoran can feed Ismail.

...This just isn’t fast enough. I have to re-decide to focus on Heero and Allenby. Even though um. This. Person in this other room has a level 19 male Nidoran. And I can’t. Ismail needs to get some hits in eventually. She’ll take the level 19 female one, too.

Oh, his name’s Gentleman Arthur.

Gentleman Thomas is next. All these rich people with cruise tickets. And level 18 Growlithe. Ismail, you want a stab?

No, because one Bite takes her down to almost half health. What the fuck. Allenby, save the day!

Horsea! Level 17, that’s a Noin target. Level 17 Shellder is as well. But I’m going to switch into Allenby because Noin’s eaten two Leers. Yeah, Icicle Spear could have hurt. Allenby stays in to manage the Tentacool.

Never mind, Allenby is confused and poisoned. Noin, get back in there. Good girl. You made it to level 20!

Sailor Leonard doesn’t care about your effort, and has no interest in letting Allenby back upstairs to heal. He has a level 21 Shellder. I am uncomfortable. Heero and Ember make it work, though. And she makes it to level 26!

Sailor Dylan with three more level 17 Horsea for Noin.

Level 18 Tentacool. It knows Supersonic. Heero. I’m begging you. Thank you.

Staryu’s up next, so Noin is back up. Level 21 get.

Rocking.

Sailor Phillip wants to go now. He has a level 20 Machop that looks to be wanting some smacks from Allenby.

Sailor Phillip shares a room with Fisherman Barny. Level 17 Tentacool. Heero can take it. Noin takes the Staryu, though. As is only proper. Noin takes the Shellder, too.

That’s the lower deck. We’re not looking too shabby. I’d prefer better, but that’s me reacting to my standards where I’m allowed to have a bit more control over the leveling process.

Up the stairs!

I like how annoyed all the fishermen look. I would also wear that hoodie. Level 17 Goldeen. I’m betting it knows Supersonic. Heero makes it to level 27! Allenby will fight the other Goldeen. Even though they probably know Peck. Oh, his last pokemon is a Tentacool.

Gentleman Brooks has a single Pikachu at level 23. Hi Pikachu.

Gentleman Lamar goes back to Growlithe. Allenby, because Fire is useless against it. Ponyta is next. I... will try Ismail out for a turn. She lives to see level 19.

Lass Dawn has a Rattata. Also a Pikachu.

Up another set of stairs. Hoping I don’t pick the side of the hall that leads to Turq, because no, I don’t think I am mentally prepared for that. Awesome, found the way that leads out to deck.

His level 17 Machop asks for death. So does his Tentacool.

Sailor Edmond has a level 18 Machop. Heero makes it to level 28. Noin will tackle the Shellder. ...Any time my pokemon want to stop hurting themselves in confusion, they can. Just saying.

...I think that might be it for trainers on the ship.

Except for Turq.

Rival extraordinaire.

Heero up front.

Why did I think this was a good idea?

Okay, let’s see the damage.

Oh?

His Pidgeotto is only level 19. That’s a good start. Heero takes it out, and Turq immediately goes over to Wartortle. ...Noin, let’s. let’s see if you’ll be okay against that. You should be, right?

Wartortle is level 20. Has Bite. Bite packs a bite.

Noin stop flinching. Yes, he’s poisoned, but stop flinching.

Spending a turn on a Potion and letting the poison finish him off.

Kadabra next. Heero time. Raticate follows, and Allenby is up.

Wow.

We’re all alive.

Access to the third Gym achieved!

We’re going to teach Quatre the Meowth Cut.

Hello darkness my old friend.

Trainers before trauma. Let’s go.

Sailor Dwayne has a Pikachu. It is level 21. For the second Pikachu, Ismail is going to be given a chance. Because Thunder Wave is a thing and I hate watching Heero freeze in place over and over.

...Never mind, Allenby, save the defenseless wonder.

I’m a little worried about that. Ismail’s Defense is awful. Ground is really useful to have, and Dugtrio doesn’t need something like trading to evolve, but Defense that bad needs a higher Attack stat, maybe. I really don’t want to spend time training anything I can’t use.

Level 21 Voltorb. Heero food. Level 21 Magnemite. More Heero food.

Heero is level 29 now.

For the last trainer in the Gym, Ismail gets to be out first. That damage she always takes from switching is just really sad. ...Ismail vs. level 23 Pikachu. Eek. One Quick Attack takes out more than half her health. Magnitude 6 brought the Pikachu to red, but still.

...Oh, that guy probably had a name. Whoops.

Switch games. I prefer mine to belong to a different console.

I hate this Gym.

Door open.

The question is if I want to give Ismail a chance to grow, or just let Heero handle it.

It isn’t a question. Heero is handling it.

Where is Surge’s hidden war lore?

Level 21 Voltorb out first. And it’s gone. Pikachu next.

...I want Ismail to try. I am the wrong personality for doing this right. Oh, it’s only level 18. Good job, Ismail.

Raichu is Heero’s all the way, though. Level 24 and soon to be (hopefully) out of our way.

I hate Thunder Wave. And Double Team. Uh, Ismail, under the theory that it’s going to go for another Electric move this turn, get in now. Because your big sister Heero is a paralyzed mess and in the orange. Yes, again.

Yay, that worked.

But Magnitude missed and Quick Attack does more than half.

...Allenby, need a favor.

The level isn’t the problem with the Raichu. It’s the Double Team and not being able to take risks that could faint anything. That is one nasty creature. I am so glad it’s gone. I’m so glad I currently don’t have to wonder about what next time will be like.

So, what’s next?

I hate.

About those Repels, self...

Super, now I have five.

COULD YOU PLEASE FUCKING NOT.

Okay, good, running away worked. Uh. Heero, I know you’re the highest level, but we can’t have you in front while we’re down here, because if another level 29 Dugtrio spawns and has Arena Trap, you’re going to die.

Remember when Flash was an HM?

Meowth whose name I can’t remember, please tell me you learn it. Quatre! And you can! Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?

Off to Cerulean again. By going the way I got there in the first place, because I just can’t go through the tunnel again. It has left me scarred. I would rather go through a tunnel full of Zubat that I can’t kill for exp. than go through that horrible place ever again.

For the sake of full context, I really love Diglett.

The first pokemon I ever trained legitimately to level 100 was a Dugtrio.

This run is testing that love.

We made it!

I don’t really know who I want in front at this point. Ismail needs levels to be anything close to helpful, but where those levels are earned is irrelevant, I personally want Noin to murder everything but that’s not the most useful, Heero could continue to kill all the things but maybe I could use less of that focus, and Allenby is always a favorite.

So I guess I’ll go by what trainer’s standing in front of me and whether or not I remember or care enough to switch who’s in front?

I sort of didn’t care, but also Picknickers have some variety to them so it matters less. Meh.

She has an Oddish. It is level 18 and I just. can’t. with Absorb wars. Heero time. For the level 18 Bellsprout as well. Noin and Heero can switch with the next Oddish again. With the next Bellsprout, Ismail’s getting some switch love.

And that gets Heero poisoned because of course it does.

Ah, Hiker Jeremy is next. Noin should have better fortune here. Unless he’s a Machop Hiker.

...Fucker.

The level 20 Machop hungers for blood with Seismic Toss. Which Allenby now wants to learn, and shall, because moves that automatically do some damage are a comfort in times of trouble. No more Low Kick.

Jeremy has an Onix. Ismail, go forth.

Ismail, don’t get Binded.

Sigh. Well, you killed it. Good job, kiddo. You and Allenby both get a Potion because we jumped a ledge that makes getting back to the Pokemon Center in Cerulean annoying.

Son, this is not how you say hi to strangers.

Camper Chris with the Growlithe. This is a job for Allenby! The Charmander that follows is a job for Ismail! Hey, that even works out!

Bug Catcher Brent is next, so Heero gets to be up front. Facing a level 19 Beedrill. Two of them, even.

Heero is level 30!

Grass reached on the way back to the Pokemon Center again. First thing that pops up is Ekans. Got that. Second is Spearow. Got that. Ekans. Rattata. Spearow. ...Yeah, fine, I’ll check if there’s even anything new this route.

Serebii says there isn’t. Sad face.

I am both glad and sad it’s not my job to comb through Pokemon games and assign every single character a new name. Level 20 Caterpie. Conner, why would you make your life this difficult?

Ismail, you can have the Weedle. Please don’t get poisoned. You didn’t! And you made it to level 21! ...Wow those stats make me worried. ...No, you are not learning Fury Swipes. That move is obnoxious.

Heero can step in and help with the level 20 Venonat.

He’s got a level 19 Rattata up front. Oh jolly gee. ...Should these maybe be Ismail food? The Sandshrew’s Noin’s, obviously, but he’s got two other things. Ekans. Ismail. Eat the poison creatures, my child. One more Sandshrew, and one more Noin fight.

Oh nice, does Quatre have pickup?

(I am an observant trainer raising my pets well.)

Persim Berry get!

Hiker Brice is our next contestant. In accordance, Noin’s up front for the level 20 Geodude. All two of them before Ismail goes up against the Machop. Fight won.

You people are allowed to say hi.

Oh, whoops.

Picknicker Caitlin with the level 23 Meowth! Ismail’s in front for this, and hopefully no one has to swoop in and help. What do you know, that worked. Good job, Ismail. Even if your HP and various Defenses make me want to cry.

Hiker Alan up now. Level 21 Geodude first. Another shot for Ismail.

This feels like it might be bad.

Aaaaand that would be why.

...

...

At the risk of sounding callous, I was starting to feel like this wasn’t going to work out, anyway. Better to know now, right?

Like I’m sad.

But not remotely surprised.

That 15 HP got lost to one Meowth Scratching her. I was dancing a fine line of providing chances and seeing if Ismail could even survive long enough to be of use.

Overly mean of me, perhaps. I think another day probably would have yielded different results.

Sigh. Noin to clean things up with the Geodude, and then the level 21 Onix that follows.

I’d kept everyone alive so far.

You tried.

Anyway. We made it to Route 10. We can catch a thing in the grass here. Not a Diglett. But. Well. I’m sure we’ll make do without.

Spearow. Spearow.

Voltorb!

Mood, my friend.

Your new name is Zaft.

You can be in the party instead of the box.

Good stopping point?

Good enough stopping point.

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon Black 2 Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 3]

With some interesting carnage leading us through it, the second badge has been earned. Better yet, we got a TM for a Special Poison move, so Caspet can now be a little more secure in her help.

Team as of the moment:

Stella (Poliwhirl)

Caspet (Gastly)

Okay then.

New routes please.

Hey me.

I have been invited to Pokestar Studios. It’s like Hollywood. Roxie’s dad ran off there to be a movie star. Roxie’s now running off there to talk him out of it. We’re going to run off there and have a terrible time with movies.

I don’t know why I remember the movie place. I think there was either some achievement or plot barrier there, and I hated the process but perfectionism insisted on trying again and... idk. Hopefully that distaste won’t be part of this run.

Can I please just be allowed to catch a third party member.

Is there any grass here. Please.

Stop dragging me to movies.

Stop dragging me to terrible movies.

Like there’s clearly some Emotions going on with Roxie’s father, but oh my gosh I do not play these games for becoming a movie star. ;-; Free me. ;-;

I have control of myself again, so I don’t know if I actually have to shoot a movie, but I feel like Roxie and her dad might require me to, and in any case, one won’t hurt too badly. I guess.

Wait, was it a medal thing? Is that why I made myself nuts over this?

Movie shot, script followed, yay, leaving.

Ahoy, plot!

Sequel Team Plasma is so very open about wanting to take over the world. How refreshing. They’ve gone from knights to pirates. Most excellent.

Pop Roxie is back to captaining, so it’s time to run off to Castelia and find another darn teammate.

And our first act of being in Castelia is a clown giving us a bicycle. Rocking.

A boat takes us to Liberty Garden. I think this is where Victini is if Victini is activated, but I’m not sure if that will be the case with this version. The important question is... does it also have other grass.

Fuckdamn it doesn’t.

Yay, entering random buildings in Castelia gave me an Exp. Share.

In keeping with me doing stupid things, I go to the Game Freak building and chat up some of the trainers who are not nearly as strong as they are post-game, thank goodness.

I really.

Really.

Would like.

More than two pokemon in my party.

I also finally gave in and talked to the medal guy in the Pokemon Center.

My achievement hunting tendencies are going to be the largest obstacle between me and any progress ever.

-whispers-

I want all of them.

Other conversations gave me an Eviolite, so that goes to Stella. ...Wait, no, Caspet. Uggggggh.

Burgh is missing from his Gym, which is fine, since I don’t think I’m ready for another round. I’m just walking around trying to check off whatever plot stuff I can that will let me catch something else.

Oh hey, I think talking to Iris opens up the sewers! I think that means I can catch something down there! !!!!

Pleeeeeease give me something.

Please, ominous guise of darkness.

Oh no.

Russell’s partnering with us, so. Uh. What’s the rule for this? I have to catch the first thing I see, but as long as I’m in a duo, I won’t be able to throw a ball very easily...

Fuuuuuuck.

Okay. We took out Panpour.

I have the ability to throw a ball, which means.

This is my catch option for the route.

Haaaa. And Russell’s Dewott is using Fury Cutter. Its damage will keep going up. I think I have two tries to catch it.

Yeehaw.

Try one is a bust.

Oh hey that’s neat! The Dewott used Razor Shell on Stella, because Stella has Water Absorb and had taken damage! That’s smarter than I expected from the partner AI.

And that means I can spare a turn or two trying to put Serperior to sleep. Since Stella still has Hypnosis.

Yo, it hit! And Dewott heals me again!

But. I need Serperior to be more damaged. I shouldn’t risk attacking. ...I’ll just keep throwing balls and wait for Dewott to hurt it a little more.

HECK YEAH WHO’S DA MAN.

Hot damn that was stressful.

Now I gotta give this girl a name.

Sylarana, wanna rock?

Also, now having Russell with me is a good thing, because this squad could use some levels.

What are you like, Syl?

She’s Careful and proud of her power.

Yeah, pride looks good on that sprite.

I don’t know what Serperior’s stats are with a neutral nature. That takes some stress off, since I’ll just go with the flow, but I prefer to know what I’m getting into, usually. Either way, Defense is stronger than Attack, and that’s just fine.

Female Nidoran are down here, too.

This is working out well enough. Yay for buddy healing. I almost don’t want it to ever end. It’s so convenient.

I shouldn’t do this forever, though. That would get boring fast.

My starter breathing. Also cool pirate outfits in Pokemon Go.

Mooks dispatched.

Gym Leader located!

Look at Burgh being all artsy with his tour of the sewers.

Huh, and Russell just hands us Strength. Because all our pals are true bros in this gen.

Then a dude with anime hair walks out of the hole in the wall.

YO NEW ROUTE.

‘ello there.

...I am possibly not going to be able to catch you due to lack of poke balls and you being remarkably stubborn.

Hey, there we go!

What to name you... what to name you... A magnificent sea serpent with a rainbow tail...

Nessy!

Without Russell healing us every fight, we can’t stick around. Back out of the sewers we go, to receive happy words from Iris. Well. Sort of happy words. She worries about Russell and tells us to challenge the Gym.

I, being a compliant sort, walk back into the sewers after healing.

Okay I guess it’s a cave. Sylarana out front, Nessy with Exp. Share while I contemplate what the heck this team does against a Bug Gym.

Ooooh, Forretress.

...

Is. is there anywhere I can go that can pave the way to me getting a Fire pokemon?

You know what, I don’t like things that blow themselves up at me. Guh, this is taking forever. I might need to buy a few Repels just so I can explore the cave properly... I believe there’s grass somewhere past the sewers, and if I could have a slightly more diverse team going into the next whatever, I’d like it.

Oh, and before I forget, Nessy!

She is Quirky and mischievous. She and Stella have half their personalities in common. Delightful. Marvel Scale is also a neat ability to have. Not one I can utilize properly because I’m a competitive failure, but still cool.

Neat, there’s Pidgeot down here.

Looks like there’s not much of the cave to explore at this point in the game. Ah well. Back to the sewers.

Hm. Would the desert north of Castelia be open to me yet? That could prove useful. Heck, is anywhere outside of this city open? I just need a little patch of grass somewhere new.

Bridge still being inspected.

A wild Bianca appears!

Dowsing Machine get!

Hello, this is new.

But there’s still spots of desert.

OH MY GOSH LOOK AT IT.

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh.

Caught!

Your new name is Itsy, and you are much beloved!

Itsy is Modest and somewhat vain, and ouch that is not a nature I think I like for this little one, but adorableness beats everything, so we’re good.

Butterfree is also in the desert. Oooo Pawniard. Back to the sewers, though. Easier training fodder.

Grass located!

...And if I were a better trainer, I would go back and buy poke balls before exploring, but I have the impulse control of a toddler. Oh, and it’s dark grass vs. light grass...

Decision will be made by rapidly running between the two and seeing what triggers an encounter first.

Dark grass it is!

Aaaaaaaa fuck off.

I love Lapras so much. So so so so so so so so much. But I have two Water pokemon already, as well as an Ice one. I. can’t focus on catching the Lapras. It would be a bad idea.

You have never seen anyone so sad to encounter a Dratini during a Nuzlocke.

The wild Lapras fainted.

Oh fucking hell the Dratini knows Dragon Rage and both my pokemon are under 40 HP. Caspet’s turn on healing Caspet, Sylarana’s turn on getting her out of there.

Okay. Confused and slept.

Now I just. catch it. With four poke balls and two great balls left.

...Three poke balls, and guess who woke up.

Great ball. C’mon great ball.

..One great ball left.

Also if Dratini hurts itself in confusion one more time it is dead.

FORTUNE SMILES ON THE CRIMINALLY STUPID.

Now let’s run everyone back through the sewers and--

Did. did I really hit the no nickname option.

Ffs.

Okay, run back through the sewers, hit the Pokemon Center, and then name the critter. The Name Rater’s somewhere in the city, I think.

Heh. The guy in the alleyway still gives us Flash.

Congratulations, Puff! You are now eligible for activity!

Puff is Quiet and alert to sounds. An adorable addition to our squad. He’s going to be temporarily up front thanks to Dragon Rage. The Game Freak fights are once a day, and it’s been a day, so!

I believe in you, Puff!

Dragon Rage is so op this early. Dreamor agrees. But Puff’s ours, so that makes it okay.

Hm. I have six now. They could keep each other out of trouble.

There are so many areas in these sewers I can’t get to. Or maybe I can, it just involves more maze work than I’m expecting. ...Yeah, it’s looking like that side. Hey, a nurse guy! Yay for less walking up to the Pokemon Center.

Oh, and Poison... might be super effective against Bug? I think the whatsit thing he has is Bug/Grass, so that isn’t actually much of a confirmation. Eh, I’ll find out soon enough.

I’ve found a room full of Zweilous. That’s a safe grinding area, right? Itsy’s got Ice and everything. Vullaby and Dwebble are also here.

Heeeeeey, Caspet’s evolving!

And wants to learn another physical Ghost move.

Bye Lick.

Okay, Gym it is.

...Wow Burgh. Really went full Art on the place, huh? Did trainers complain that you were forcing them to walk through honey before letting them fight you?

Puff’s up first. I don’t have much type advantage here, so it’s just going to be hitting things until they break.

Burgh.

Hey Burgh.

This Gym is creepy.

The cocoons just suck you in and zoom you up. Only think Willy Wonka style.

Mooks have level 20s, so this should be a little uncomfortable for a few of the younger members, but Caspet, Stella, and Sylarana should be fine. For now, Puff’s still in front and Dragon Raging all the things.

And we’re going to the Pokemon Center after every fight, but hey. Baby steps in all things. Puff is on one of the slower exp tracks, so every little bit helps.

...Burgh. Buddy.

You want to talk?

This Gym feels like a cry for help.

In true shounen protagonist style, I will settle your troubled emotions through battle! Even if none of the dialogue will admit to how concerning the aesthetics of your chosen arena are!

Everything is hitting critical hits.

...Oh wait, I’m supposed to narrate these fights, aren’t I?

Uh. Swadloon down, Dwebble down, Leavanny left, Leavanny’s level 24. Caspet’s out to deal with it after Puff handled Swadloon and Nessy handled Dwebble.

Caspet one-shots it like a champ, and on we go.

Burgh, this trinket in no way makes me less concerned for you.

Still, though! Everyone’s alive, and we have a team full of six! Nice work, ladies and Puff. Five more badges to go! Let’s hope they go well!

[ghostmartyr]

Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 11]

We have made it to post-game!

Sort of!

The plot done away with, now is the time to explore the rest of the map and wrap up the entire run with one last go at the Elite Four in their final form!

Our main contestants are

still spoiler tagged!

for maximum worrying.

Let’s get marching.

Back in the room where it all began. I wonder if this beginning will also start with my friends running in unannounced and starting a battle with me. ...That would be bad, it’d better not.

...Looker. I’m gonna level with you.

I don’t wanna be a junior detective.

He’s still on the trail of Team Plasma, and has decided to assign us the task of tracking down the Seven Sages. He also gives us a Super Rod. I don’t think we could fish before this, which is kind of an odd feature for a pokemon game.

Looker’s a nut, but an endearing nut.

Ah yes, my besties.

And hey, Professor Juniper’s dad shows up to upgrade my pokedex! Half my team will no longer be without numbers!

So. Now what.

Which really means, do I let Buzz Fly me to Nimbasa or Opelucid?

I think the Nimbasa route will contain a bridge.

We’re going on the bridge.

Though before we do that, I want to check out the train area again to see if the IV person is there now that I’ve beaten the plot. I’m probably just misremembering their entire existence, but I could have sworn someone was down there.

DUDE! LOOK AT WHO’S RIGHT!

Okay okay okay we’ve got to give this a full check.

Frogger is above average, with fantastic Attack and Special Attack. Rojo is decent, with very good Special Defense. Tock is above average with very good Special Attack. Fido is above average with HP that ‘can’t be better.’ That explains a few numbers. Batman is above average with fantastic HP. Palm is above average with fantastic Speed.

Rojo, you poor, useless legendary.

You are still one of the most broken things on the team, and I love you for it.

That’s more rounded than I expected, honestly. I figured a few of them would just be terrible, and maybe one would be extraordinary, but it’s above average across the board. Which is. kind of average. Pokemon NPCs are kind people.

APTLY NAMED BRIDGE. ALSO KNOWN AS A NEW ROUTE, LET’S GO FEATHER DROPS.

The dude offering me a Magikarp to buy does not count as the first encounter. Also, I did not buy it. It is not randomized, and as we all know that means it’s awful.

That’s pretty much my reaction, word for word.

Ghetsis told them to give me the Adamant Orb. And the Lustrous Orb. And the Griseous Orb. I think those are... Diamond and Pearl’s legendary special items?

Then the ninja zoom away after telling me we’ll never meet again.

That’s one lazy way to get rid of ninja. I could have sworn I fought them once... wait, did I? That seems like something I could go back and check. Eh, whatever.

Speaking of lazy things, was Team Plasma having a giant castle ever explained? I feel like it wasn’t. I’m okay with that, I just want to know.

The inclusion of the wings you can pick up on bridges were really helpful to EV training. I don’t know how many hours I would spend biking on bridges, and frankly the answer would likely depress me, but picking up all those feather things was so useful.

Of course, I have no real use for them at the moment. I’m trying to find a pokemon in those shadows.

I found one!

Look at you, little adorable guy. Oh, girl.

Quick Ball, then faint if that doesn’t work.

Caught her!

What’s your name, though... gotta go with something musical... I dub thee Pink.

Some girl in the gateway area wants to have a Rotation Battle with me. Like a fool, I say yes, and--

Oh shit.

I was kidding when I called myself a fool, but no, yes, that classification stands. Ahahaha. Um. Okay so after this, I’m gonna. Gonna go to Opelucid instead, maybe.

I didn’t even look at Pink’s level when I caught her. It was all Quick Ball action and ignorance. Could I have been forewarned?

This is bad.

Rotation Battles in general irk me. Rotation Battles that place me at a considerable level disadvantage are. something else. Oy.

Um.

I think the Alomomola might have Water Absorb. But Frogger is the most likely to survive whatever awful thing is about to happen. So that limits me to attacking with Mud Shot or Hyper Voice until the Alomomola is downed. It’s a Normal move. It isn’t going to do much against a Steel type, and it doesn’t do much against Beheeyem either, but I think one of those probably has Levitate for their Ability.

Frogger should not be in front.

He is staying in front.

So far, none of these things are using an actual attack, which I’m grateful for.

As I say that, Alomomola uses Hydro Pump. Frogger’s still green, so. Yeah.

Frogger just keeps using Hyper Voice. He’s going to run out of PP for it. Oh well.

Next Hydro Pump gets him low enough to warrant a Hyper Potion.

Beheeyem uses Power Split. Beheeyem’s not bad and this one is a higher level, so I’m not sure how bad that is.

Good news! Nothing has Levitate, and the Klinklang is defeated!

Alomomola is also defeated!

Beheeyem is defeated!

Yikes.

That only went so well because the other trainer almost never used attacks. It was all status stuff except for Hydro Pump, which missed twice. Something would be dead if a human trainer had been guiding those move choices.

I think I’m going to go outside and check what the wild life is like. It’s possible that the huge level difference is an artificial thing with this one trainer, rather than the norm. I mean, her AI virtually never attacked me. So I’ll hold off on going to Opelucid until I get a look at what other people have.

It could also be that I am underleveled for post-game life.

One thing at a time.

Exploring time.

Oh. That guy’s a trainer. He has a level 62 Gulpin.

Okay, so I’m not comfortably leveled for this, but as long as I don’t fall into a Rotation Battle or a Triple Battle, I have items, and the exp will be worthwhile. I think I’ll keep going, with special attention paid to caution. Maybe something in the grass can help me out with some mild grinding.

I biked all the way back to a Pokemon Center.

That is how much confidence I am feeling.

Something should have a Lucky Egg, but I don’t even know if it’s safe to be here, let alone who my front runner should be.

...Fine, it’s Frogger, never mind.

I’m sorry Frogger, I have no idea why I’m so uninterested in cultivating you. I should be better about not taking you for granted and appreciate that you are the one true survivor of this squad.

It’s just you’re also level 60. So not the thing most in need of exp.

Hello possible new friend. It’s level 48, so I think it might be that the post-game sections just have a level jump for trainers. Delightful.

Quick Ball ftw, Baltoy is now Woody.

Munna’s also in this grass. I can’t help but notice these things are not great for grinding.

Trainer with a level 65 Altaria.

I think Rojo might need to try to handle it before anything more creatively unfortunate happens. Altaria’s a Special Defense pokemon, and I think has a few really great Defense-boosting stat moves. If I let it, it can sweep.

It might also be able to kill Rojo in one hit already, but.

Argh, I hate this, lol.

Rojo, go in, if something happens I’m sorry in advance.

Yeeeeeah this Altaria is doing what I thought it would and I don’t care for it. Dragon Dance plus the Cotton thing that drastically raises Defense. .I am afeared. It uses another Dragon Dance.

Oh good job Rojo. Critical hit for the save. Good job, good job.

Abomasnow is up next.

Fido, you’re up.

Fido eats it.

You know. I like this better when I’m not chronicling every single fight out of the fear of imminent death. The next trainer looks like a Fighting one, so Tock is moved to the first slot.

Are you fucking kidding me.

New plan!

We’re murdering legendaries for breakfast!

Because exp!

Side note: Air Slash has 95 accuracy. Why is it always missing.

...Oh fuck.

I hecked up. Badly. Oh fuck. no.

I thought. Tock would out-Speed. Which I would have realized was a stupid thought if I had actually spent any time thinking about Tock’s features and the fact that the Hitmontop has eight levels on him.

I thought about healing him. Those missed Air Slashes left a lot of damage.

You know what also leaves a lot of damage.

STAB Close Combat.

Stop. thinking. “oh I’m sure it will be fine.”

-cradles head in hands-

I am so sorry Tock.

I.

Fuck, this was not supposed to happen. I shouldn’t be allowed to touch Flying pokemon. Ever. Or fight Fighting pokemon. The fact that this keeps happenings suggests some underlying stupidity.

Damn it.

Damn it.

This. Tock. Buddy.

ALL THOSE FUCKING SLUGMA.

FUCK I JUST REALIZED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EMOTIONS. I DIDN’T USE TOCK AGAINST N OR GHETSIS. ALL OF THAT EV TRAINING. ALL OF IT. FOR NOTHING BUT RANDOM FIGHTS.

ALL

THOSE

SLUGMA

IT WAS A LOT OF HOURS.

I. Hell, I am so sorry Tock. I did everything wrong for your final moments. You would still be alive (assuming Close Combat wouldn’t have killed you in one hit regardless, which... I will never get to know) if I had just been more careful and less stupid. Five seconds of common sense would have put you out of harm’s way.

I am just. so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.

You have such a sweet, innocent face and I...

I am upset?

I can’t even pick someone else for the team yet. It can wait. Nothing can really replace Tock, and I can’t act otherwise.

I can take Bandit for a walk, though. There are boulders nearby.

-eliminates Reshiram with no joy in heart-

Hell.

I think this place has more uses if you are not playing on the computer.

It has grass. That’s the important thing of the moment.

Hey little guy.

Quick Ball go, Quick Ball get.

I don’t know what to call you.

So. I’m gonna go with Tick.

FOR THE LOVE OF SOMETHING, STOP SPAMMING THE A BUTTON EQUIVALENT THROUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE I DID NOT WANT A TRIPLE BATTLE BECAUSE THAT IS LIKE THREE TIMES THE CHANCES OF DEATH AND I AM NOT DOING WELL WITH THE NORMAL CHANCES.

It works out thanks to the typing.

But geez self. Show some learning.

See, okay, the kid standing above her also wants a Triple Battle.

Now, what are we going to do?

Go to the Pokemon Center, and then say absolutely because my guys need exp.

I’m not a greatly intelligent human.

Not even a little.

It works out, though. Exp gained, no one dead.

New route.

This trainer has a level 68 Purugly.

I think. I really need to drop everything and grind for a little bit.

Frogger has fallen in love with the Purugly. He is also now paralyzed. After a turn of that, thankfully, he uses Hydro Pump and it hits.

Frogger.

I’m judging you a bit.

Level 68 Espeon. Followed by level 68 Lapras. Good grief I should not be in this place.

.

.

.

THAT ONE WAS NOT MY FAULT.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

This.

Fuck.

Uh.

So uh. There was this Future Sight Batman took. I made the executive decision that it was safer for her to be in there for it than Palm, and. I stand by that. Except then a critical hit Hydro Pump hit. And it’s a level 68 Lapras. So.

So.

You killed Boeing. By catching you, I took away your ability to kill. But I always knew you could still die. You were the terror. You were the knight.

You were Batman.

You deserved to be enshrined forever in the Hall of Fame.

But this is where we part, my friend.

Farewell.

Uh.

...4x STAB Leaf Storm.

I.

This was meant to be the grass encounter where I caught one of them?

I was focused on that?

I did not think a level 59 Petilil could kill Frogger in one shot?

This is.

Bad?

There is also a chance the Petilil is too dangerous to live?

But I catch it, so yay?

Petilil’s new name is Battousai.

And.

And.

This has been the longest hour of this run.

I am in so much more trouble than I was.

Frogger. You were my second pokemon.

You saved the day against the Elite Four.

You were dependable, and I never learned to depend on you.

I did not see us ending this way.

I am so sorry.

...

Hello.

Darkness my old friend.

I’ve come to cry at you again.

So uh.

Guess who. needs a new team.

Ahahaha I am in hell.

...

You know what. I. am going to take a break. This has been an excruciating hour. I don’t care for it. I don’t know what I should put on my new team. All I know is that this is very sad and I continue to be worse at this game than I thought.

So that’s great.

[next session start]

Alrighty then.

-stares blankly-

My party has Rock/Fighting, Fire, Grass/Fighting.

I, uh. Need to fill it.

With stuff.

Piglet (Spoink). You’re coming with. Buzz and Bandit will come along with HMs. I’ll see if I can hit the other routes, then figure the rest of this mess out.

Right. Lesgo.

On the comforting side, the first trainer we see has a level 65 thing too. So the side picked didn’t severely change the outcome of. things.

The first thing I see is Lairon, but I have an Aron.

-considers-

Let’s see if I can catch you.

Score, I can. I forgot the Quick Ball, but damage lined up to make it a clean catch. I’mma name you Daffy.

I think. I need to grind more than anything. My surviving team is very much at risk, and Piglet is wholly untrained. Both of those things need fixing. Hopefully it won’t involve chasing down Slugma.

To Dragonspiral and Jellicent, I guess. One step at a time.

(Bandit learned Surf, by the way. Because. Something needed to know that.)

Piglet is evolving! Form of... Grumpig!

Bodacious.

What EVs does Reshiram give? Because if it’s Special Attack...

That’s worth investigating.

Cue nothing but Baltoy. ...I also don’t know what Baltoy gives. ...Or Snorunt. Snorunt is also here. Along with Piplup.

Reshiram gives Special Attack.

I’m taking this as confirmed based on recording several levels of Piglet’s stats attacking nothing but Reshiram. A wild extra point of Special Attack appeared. That makes some things so much easier. I don’t know the exact numbers on what I’m looking for out of Piglet (I think maybe max HP, some convenient split of Special Defense, Defense, and Special Attack), but. Geez this is a relief.

Looking at the numbers though, Piglet isn’t going to be able to pack much of a punch no matter how many EVs I pour into him. I need to focus on tank power.

Maxing HP, then whatever’s left will go to Special Defense and Defense.

Only not in that order.

My memory being what it is, I’m not sure, but I think Relicanth might have Defense and Attack EVs. So I’m just here for Cloyster. I’ll down twenty, then go back to HP grinding. Simple.

Cue no Cloyster.

I should level up Bandit so I start getting better stuff with all this walking.

[one hour later]

This is still boring. I should have figured out my other replacements so I could do this all at once. At least one would have to have similar EV desires, right?

But then I’d have to figure out the other two.

My guess is it will be Yanmega and Jellicent. Fluttershy and Peanut.

But.

I want to wait. Just. Just in case.

Also, screw it, Bandit gets the other Exp. Share. I have two, I’m going to use them. I’m also going to use some PP Ups on Fido’s Flamethrower. Healing after every fifteen fights is. No.

[many hours later]

Okay. HP handled.

Sigh.

The journey continues.

[another hour (okay maybe not really)]

Yay!

I think what I want to do right now is level up what I have rather than focus on training any other new ones. I need to watch those exp bars zoom to the moon. It will sustain me in my grief/exhaustion.

Since I’m in Opelucid anyway, I’m just going to go right and hang in the grass until I’m slightly more confident in the ability of my team to not die.

Wild Pichu are not that helpful in that endeavor. Nor are Mime Jr. Granbull. You are our only hope in this arena.

...

I miss Tock [’s Shadow Ball] so much.

The fear of death is omnipresent. Too much has happened. Where once there was confidence, now there is only dread. Recovery is a faint glimmer of a dream off in the distance.

Neat. Kingdra is also here.

-tilts head-

Yeah, repeats. But still.

I wonder if anything helpful’s in the water.

Well. There’s a level 35 Surskit.

Leaning towards a hard no.

Oh wait, what am I doing. It should be all legendary murdering all the time.

It’s so frustrating, because I just keep thinking hey, I can go fight the trainers along the path for more exp! Then the rest of me remembers that I should not do that.

I don’t think I checked out the dark grass in the route I found Reshiram. I’ll check that out for a quick look. It will possibly be followed by running away as fast as humanly possible, but eh.

That’s not too bad.

...Ah. Levels 58 and 57.

Their danger levels and their exp levels sadly do not line up. Gonna stick with the Reshiram grass.

...Also gonna check what’s in the water of the route with the level 68 hellbeasts.

NO I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU TURNED AROUND.

-deep breath-

-deep scream-

Okay. Okay. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

Level 64 Primeape, Piglet gets switched in. ..And survives a Close Combat crit.

So then, Piglet is at 23 HP thanks to two Thrashes, and now Palm is out to hopefully do away with a level 64 Scrafty. Yes, because Palm is Palm Wonderful. Last one is a level 64 Poliwrath. Palm gets a crit because Palm loves us.

Piglet learns Power Gem because I don’t have the guts to use Rest as a real strategy.

All right. Lived.

Super Rod leads to Palpitoad. That’s not a bad thing to know. Regular Surfing leads to Wigglytuff. That’s better than the Reshiram grass for leveling if it’s the only thing in the water. But then there’s Shellder.

New area!

Undella Town and Undella Bay are different places, so I must take care with Surfing for my new friend.

This is the town’s choice. I throw a Quick Ball. Metapod caught. Now if only he had a name. Hm.

You can be Crystal.

And this is the choice of the bay. Another Quick Ball is thrown. A Hoothoot is caught. Her name is Winnie.

I’m fast approaching the end of new areas. The map is almost completely lit up.

I think it might be okay to face trainers in the water, because I have Palm. So I’m going to try that, and hope I don’t soon have reason to cry like a baby again.

Level 63 Staryu.

You know, my new question is why that one girl had level 68 monstrosities.

There’s a Quagsire here that we don’t get to catch. ;-;

Oo, and Electrode. I’ve always loved Electrode. It smiles.

I have the HM for Dive now! Yay?

RUN

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

RUN.

-severe whimpering noises-

We are not in any way, shape, or form ready for post-game Cynthia. I have memories of grinding against her and others in this house thing, but those teams were allowed to come back after dying.

I will fight her before I fight the Elite Four. Because if I can’t beat her, I have no business facing the Elite Four again (...I think).

Okay, moved up to Route 13 because I don’t actually have anything that can learn Dive. New area. Time to see what we get.

Hmmmmmmmm. Quick Ball get.

Finneon’s new name is F9.

I can’t help but notice that other trainers don’t walk around with level 68 pokemon. I guess that means I really am exploring the entire map before I start training another pokemon. That is possibly misguided, but I really just... am not ready to finalize my final (I hope) team.

Um.

I.

Wait, what the fuck?

I. I was typing.

WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS TYPING. PALM TOOK A HEX BUT HIS HP WAS STILL GREEN AND THEN.

WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

It uses Hydro Pump against Piglet, so if I were to guess...

How is this still getting worse.

Palm.

Palm Wonderful.

I have no words.

I am distraught.

I will miss you so much.

I no longer have the option of being cute about this. I can’t be walking around with three pokemon in an area where I’m losing them at this rate. I guess the simple fact is that things are now high enough level to know seriously dangerous moves, and there is no truly safe option except for absurd over-leveling.

I need to select three new ones.

I have Fido, Rojo, and Piglet. Fire, Rock/Fighting, and Psychic. I can basically pick whatever I want. And as much as I hate to say it, Palm’s loss keeps me from being overstocked on Fighting. So. If I wanted...

But what do I want?

I want to stack the deck. How do I do that.

IV checker. Everything I might consider using is getting a free checkup.

It’s a sea of “above average”s. With a few “decent”s here and there.

Maybe I should try something different. Maybe I should just select the pokemon I love most. That’s the point of a Nuzlocke, right? Getting attached? In terms of Type coverage, there are things I can do, but. I don’t wanna do that. I want to pick the things I love most. If it has good odds on ending horrifically no matter what I do, I want to have as much fun as possible.

Swiper and Wagston are in. As for the last one, that remains to be seen.

If memory serves, Riolu evolves into Lucario with good happiness during the daytime. So I should start walking. He will also be given a Soothe Bell. I think I’ll spend my time leveling up what remains. Rojo can kill a million Reshiram and become a demigod in addition to a legendary.

Oh, and sportsball. Let’s go do today’s.

Baseball! Baseball is fun.

Have I been here since finishing the plot?

I have, right? There isn’t going to be a huge level jump?

This level 65 Persian staring me down says I’m a moron.

-paces-

I should not be here. I should leave. Straight away.

But Piglet is a tank. Everything I uses in battle is over 60.

This stupidity is now on record. I’m going to try to beat the baseball peeps.

This level 66 Simipour makes me miss Palm so terribly.

Wow, I should not be doing this.

And yet.

There are a lot more trainers here now.

Level 64 Conkeldurr vs level 64 Piglet. My future nightmares start this way.

Piglet is victorious, and we continue this horrible decision!

...

You know what, this is stupid. Piglet hurt himself in confusion twice, then I used a Lemonade to get him back to full health, then the Unfezant’s Sky Attack did. That.

So. This is going badly.

Piglet, I swear I’d say sorry, but I’m mostly just dwelling on how amazingly screwed I am. So. Uh.

So.

tfw I have two usable pokemon!