#cheated cause the first time I shuffled literally every song was by the used or mychem so I scrapped it and shuffled again

[honeybabymp3]

got tagged by patri @keylimegreendyke some days ago to put my last playlist on shuffle and post the first 10 songs that come up.... it was (unsurprisingly) my folder with all my dean playlists (no judging they’re extremely self indulgent and I’m not gonna pretend otherwise). I’m gonna skip the songs from the playlist that are just shazam’ed songs from the show tho. here we go

vertigo cave by the used

the archer by taylor

bleed american by jimmy eat world

billie joe armstrog’s cover of that thing you do!

trouble by Natalia kills (🥰)

burnin for you by blue oyster cult

the all american rejects’ cover of womanizer (LMAO I’m sorry Britney:( I wanted an acoustic cover for the right vibe and I’m a very dedicated playlist maker)

front row by metric (😞)

king for a day by Green Day (😊😊😊)

Semiotic love by blaqk audio

thank you!! Mwah

[calypsoff]

Sixty Six. Part 2

To say the least it was kind of nice to have Chris in bed with me even though we slept apart, it was just nice and warm in the bed with him. Lifting my head up and looking behind me, he’s not in bed of course “looking for me” looking to the door, he caught me “not exactly, just checking if you left because I am on the edge of the bed, took all the space” resting my head back on the pillow “have you seen how skinny I am, that is a lie” a smile formed on my face “is that breakfast?” I questioned “for me yes” pulling a face at him “I’m joking, it’s for you” I let out an oh and I turned onto my back “miss me that much?” Lifting the covers over me, my boobs are everywhere recently. They are big, big for me anyways “uh, let’s not get above your station now. You want to sit up?” Nodding my head, wish he could pick me with his skinny self. Shuffling up on the bed, I feel his eyes on me so much, I can feel his gaze “stop it” I mumbled, Chris chuckled “what? I can’t look, we married” fixing the covers over my legs smiling “you grown, like a lot. I think your nipples are happy” pulling at my tee laughing “nigga” looking up at him “is that the rose from my bed?” I pointed out “does it matter?” He placed the tray on my lap, didn’t think he knew where things were in this home “I deserve a fresh one, I wanted two” Chris groaned out “I’m joking, awww this is so cute Chris. Thank you, really mean it” he moved back smiling, he is so proud of himself “I will put the TV on for you, I’m going back down. I’m making myself some food” letting out an oh “Rorrey not stayed here?” He shook his head making his way around the bed “he left, maybe he has a lady, but he went after my court case. What trash you want to watch?” He is cute, made me four boiled eggs and toast and took the crust off for me, he is the cutest “erm, anything. You not going to eat upstairs then? Nobody is here” I asked “I will come back up after, I’m just going to get something” I need this “I like your tan, you look good” he is cute, I keep saying this but he is being the cutest.

I was actually waiting for him to come back and he did, with a bowl of cereal that he took so long to get “it’s nice to know you know how to keep a house clean, we need to have arguments more often don’t we” watching him walk around the bed “no, no more. I am sick, I just miss you. It’s always me in the doghouse, you do something dumb then I can have this bed” what is he like “whatever, but I ain’t forgiven you just yet” I lied, he sat on the edge of the bed “and I get it, that is why I posted your baby picture. Like the longer you don’t forgive the worse the pictures get” mean mugging him, I didn’t peep a word but stare at him. He looked behind him at me and laughed “you need to quit that shit, you look like a fanpage. Getting on my damn nerves!” Annoying ass “nah, I ain’t quitting. Until I meet Rihanna, it’s my dream too” I shuddered as he slurped the milk from the bowl “getting flashbacks, you know I slurp good” how did he know I shuddered “be quiet, so what did you do while I was away? Cry yourself to sleep?” He turned his body to me so he can see me “I slept on your side of the bed and sniffed your panties, stank as hell” I swear I wanted to throw my pillow at him but that means I would have to move “you’re actually nasty, I finished my breakfast thank you. I appreciate it” he grinned at me “I will take your plate then” shaking my head “I can, don’t” he shot up from the bed “no, let me. Please; I want to show you something” oh he got something to show me “ok, you go for it then” I sat back on the bed.

Chris came back in the bedroom with the biggest grin on his face, it’s kind of weird that he is smiling the way he is “what?” He made his way over to me “mhmm I came to give you this” he bought forward a box “awww for me?” I love gifts “yes” taking the white box from him “hope you like it” he sat on the edge of the bed “depends, I might dislike it and then you will have to get something else” pulling at the bow “you’re stressful” shaking my head smiling, pulling open the box “a chain” lifting the box up “yeah, just scan it. On Spotify, find out what it is” reaching over and grabbing my phone “I have Apple Music?” Chris side eyed me “I’m playing, I have both apps” he is getting annoyed with me, let me stop playing with him. Sliding across to find the app “I have so much on this phone” tapping on Spotify “so I just take a picture of it” Chris reached over and fixed the chain “tap that, now do it” he tapped my camera “don’t act like you know what you’re doing now” taking a picture and the then it loaded “oh” our first dance song “I hate you” I paused, placing the back of my hand just over my mouth feeling myself getting choked up. I breathed out moving my hand back looking down at my phone as the song played “you really hurt me Chris” looking up at him, wiping the tears that fell, stopping the song “forget everything, the media coverage but just your actions, you hurt me. And that is what bugged me the most, you didn’t take fault. You just blamed others and even then you didn’t admit to it, you lied to my face. You caused me so much stress for what?” I sniffled “you wanted me to break you down and even then you did it back at me, you hurt me a lot. Hurt that didn’t need to happen, worst of all Chris I felt like you didn’t want me, like you regretted being married. I felt the hard work for us just went and I was being judged because of it, I was so hurt by you. Then you didn’t even call and you can’t justify doing that, you just forgot about me. I am pregnant and anything could happen, it hurt me being in that bed when you weren’t there. I had to hurt you, you had to feel the hurt I feel because I felt unworthy like I did with Rakim and it was so unfair, so very unfair” wiping my tears as more tears came, he did hurt me.

“I was thinking like why me, I married him is he not happy with me. I just hated that I was pregnant and married because then I can’t do anything but be at home. I look the fool because people were being so rude about it, while I was hurt you was in Canada and even when I questioned it you lied and yeah, I just was hurt by your actions more than anything. You knew what you did and didn’t want to handle the consequences when everything was good with us, what else could I do to make you better. Where do I go wrong that you had to entertain some whore, I questioned myself and I was hurting so much. If you were my boyfriend Chris I would have got you back a whole lot worse but I’m not in that era of my life, I am going to be a mother, so I have that mentality, but I feel you strayed away from that” I took in a deep breath “thank you for this though” I don’t remember if I said that to him.

“I’m sorry Robyn I am, I fucked up. I really did, and in that moment you don’t see it because it’s not bad, I am not excusing what I did. And also what I did when I came home, I was so close to losing you and I was scared of that, if we are being truthful. I questioned myself if getting married is what I wanted so early on and I have been questioned that at the interview and I meant what I said, I don’t regret it because I have peace in my heart, it’s been horrible without you Robyn, every day just waking up lonely. I felt like shit, I was lost in the moment and I became the asshole you always say I am, and for that I am so sorry, I really mean it. I hate to see you cry and I rather be here making it up to you then lose you, my daughter. I can’t wait to meet her, hoes are for then and not for a lifetime, but my intention was never that, when I was speaking to India in that setting it was literally oh you moved to Cali, you love it there and whatever and then she said it to me, are you up for cheating. I was shocked, how can one be so upfront about it, I was shocked. And me not calling you, I am sorry. I got to Drake’ home and lost my mind, I didn’t even do that on my stag night, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I hurt you” I am glad he understands “but I mean what I say, I love you and I don’t regret anything that happened between us, the high life got the better of me and I am not like that, I am really not but I lost myself. I am just going to watch myself for next time, if there is of course” he laughed, he knows damn well he is banned for now.

I swallowed hard “the things that went on in my mind, I didn’t want our daughter to be in that setting. I just always wanted different for my kids. A loving father, it would break me if my kids didn’t get that and I was just panicking that I made that mistake, I didn’t know this man I was seeing” my voice broke, I am so emotional about this “I was so worried, I know nothing in life is perfect but I would like my kids to have a father that loves them, then I found out it’s a girl and I just thought back to me. Broken home, I am scared of that a lot. I know I didn’t make a mistake but it’s when everyone was saying it, I rushed, and I didn’t think. Got to me, and me. I have issues myself, giving myself to any man anyways so giving myself to you and you did that, it brings me bad memories and it makes me fearful. Mel and I did see Captain, twice actually” I laughed sniffling “he said that he never said it would be perfect, but your husband he is a good guy. He means no harm, I know you want to leave. And I felt like that because you came home and made it worst to me, your shitty attitude towards me and it’s like with you, if I don’t break you down you continue this circle of being a dick. I have said it countless times, you are awful with your mouth and your temper can be bad. Speaking about it with you, it has made me upset again of course but we didn’t speak on it because I stopped speaking to you in a way and then in Mexico it was more me breaking you down. I just want you to understand that it’s not just me and you but we have a child now, and what we do now will affect our child and I want our child to have the best, I will do just that” I didn’t expect me to cry like that “I get it, you have always been fearful of having a deadbeat father for your kid, I know that was a fear of yours and I don’t blame you for it. I am not saying it will ever happen, but I promise you I would be the best dad to our kids, you know we going to have more so yeah” I smiled a little “I am taking you out by the way, tonight. I am paying” looking up at me “really?” he nodded his head “I got to make it up to you, I love you Robyn. I want you to understand that I ain’t ever going to let that happen again, I got burnt” I think he has realised that now.

I thought I would look cute, seeing as Chris is taking me out I want to impress my little date for the night so I am wearing an off the shoulder wrap midi dress in white, I think I look cute as hell so we shall see from his reaction. I do hope he takes me Giorgio Baldi, I am kind of missing that place. Watching my step as I made my way down the steps, I have been trying to keep myself away from the heels, but I feel cute today, my feet have kind of got better so I don’t want to be in heels because they are getting better “I hear you coming down now” I stopped walking staring at him “I am joking, wow twin. Oh wow, you look amazing omg!” he grinned stepping back, his reaction made me smile “you look so fucking good Robyn, wow! I mean can we swap the dinner part and just you know” making my way down the steps and to the bottom “to the what? Why, what is happening after dinner huh?” Chris laughed “joking, wow. You look so good, like look at you” he clasped his hands together staring me up and down “be quiet, is the Uber here?” seeing as his ass doesn’t know how to get an SUV “actually I know how to do it, it’s the SUV” he bit his bottom lip, he is feeling me I can see the look in his eye “well let’s go then, after you. Don’t keep a pregnant lady waiting” I am hungry as hell right now.

I proud of him that he can finally order the SUV, it’s not even hard either “where are you taking me?” I have a feeling but I still need confirmation “your place twin, I know there isn’t any other place you would rather go now” I grinned “thank you, I have missed that place” I am excited “you do look amazing, I am not even joking. Like there is plenty of pregnant women but nothing like you, can we take a picture?” nodding my head “I love all my fans, you know that” Chris shuffled over to me “but that means you stop posting me every morning, please. You’re torturing me now” Chris taking a selfie to me is hilarious, but I am going to let him have it, he raised his phone taking a selfie. Wrapping my arm around his to move in closer, he is terrible, but I won’t say it. I just turned my face and kissed his cheek, them angles are bad “that is it, that means sex now” moving my arm back “whatever” he moved away from me “I am going to put I met Rihanna, and after that I will stop the pictures” I smiled “thank god!” I spat, he chuckled looking down at his phone “can I touch your bump? It’s been a while” he asked me without even looking at me, his face in his phone “sure, why not” Chris looked over at me, he reached his hand over and placed it on my bump and I just felt butterflies “mega mind baking” I kissed my teeth, he ruined that.

I am happy, he is spoiling me. Taking me out, got me a chain. He has listened to me cry and has just listened to me, I am happy “you look so happy to be in this bitch, this place is mediocre” here he goes “stop” I mumbled “I wanted to speak to you about Mel by the way, I mean I know this is not about Mel but I want to just mention that she is not staying with us anymore, she will be getting her stuff soon, just until it is safe to do so. I am not upset she is going but I am upset on why she is, what you said to Mel was very hurtful and she felt it, Mel and I came from the same place, the same background. We came up together, just like you wanted to help your friends so did I, I took Mel with me everywhere so yes the only thing she knows is to support me, and when you said what you said it hit her hard because you’re not wrong she has dedicate herself to helping me, to always making sure I am ok, I have Jen yes, but Mel is my main. You know that and she feels very low about herself, I said it’s not like that don’t move but she is but I would appreciate it in your own time but to say sorry because nobody deserves those words, she was there for me. I needed someone there, she came all the way from Barbados, and then you said what you said. I am not taking sides, but I want both you and my sister to get along, I want her to know that my door is open and not closed to her, I feel she is depressed, and she has been speaking to Barry still for you, she helped you get out of this Chris. Barry wanted you to go down for it all, he had it all for you to go down, she talked him into not doing it. Sold herself short because he thought they was getting back together, they aren’t but she did that for you but also she knew I needed you, but please just think about it” that is a long ass line “she really did that?” Chris questioned “yes for you” he is shocked “I don’t want her to move out, that wasn’t my intention. I was just angry; I know how close you both are I always expect Mel there with you. I will sort it out, promise” I believe he will “that is mad respect for what she did for me, wow” I think he sees that she wasn’t that bad one.

Tilting my head to the side “you seem annoyed” he does look it, I know him well “just this person is taking pictures and videoing and it’s like annoying, you got up and they was doing it” nodding my head, I always know when someone is doing that “it’s normal, it happens” I shrugged it off “aye bro, why you taking pictures of my wife, like you done it constantly. Even when she walking, just stop” he called him out and the place fell awfully quiet, I didn’t look but just looked at Chris’ face “leave it now” placing my hand over his “leave it ok, I seen you ripped out the bedroom for the baby” changing the subject “oh yeah I did, oh I made a mistake and I thought you told your family about the sex of the baby” I groaned out “It’s just Rorrey” I blowing out air “mhmm it’s fine, I want to have a baby shower and expose what I am having then, it’s fine. But how do you feel? It’s not the boy you wanted” I know he kept saying that “erm, I guess excited. I am, I think it’s going to be the biggest blessing to me” he seems nervous, made me smile “at the scan she was so active, moving away a lot and then she was sucking her thumb, I felt she was stressed out” I put my head down “she is connected to you, I get it. she’s going to make me grow up even more, I know it” looking up at Chris “she is going to make us both grow” we both not perfect.

[jksmoongf]

Kissing Fire [pt. 12] *final*

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x girlfriend (oc) Genre: cheater!AU, angst, smut Wordcount: 16.7k Warning: smut, lies, heartbreak and more lies and maybe fluff if you squint

Summary: It always feels like there is only one person in the world to love. And then you find somebody else.

a/n: I don’t condone cheating on your s.o., so please don’t read if you have a problem with this! (also I’m not saying this is something Jungkook would actually do!) **a/n: It’s been a long time coming but it’s finally here and I really hope none of you are disappointed! As always, some feedback would be lovely! I wanna thank @struggleofarmy​ for always helping me, and encouraging me and sobbing with me through the long process of writing this chapter! Thank you D. - I love you!!! 💕💕💕 And I need to thank @jaxonah​ for her big brain and planning with me, literally, the entire fic ( y’all can thank her, bc Sammy inspired KF and without her, it would've never happened!) Thank you bby! I love you so much, you don't even understand!  💜💜💜

Warning chapter 12: crying (it’s an emotional rollercoaster or maybe just an angst-fest who knows), smut ( handjob (female/male receiving), minor tiddie play, grinding,  good ol’ vanilla sex with a surprise at the end, as always unprotected, but pls use protection ), profanities, fluff (you’ll need a magnifying glass to find it), Jk doing dumb irrational things (no spoilers on that tho) Song rec: Every Avenue - Between You and I (please listen to it, it’s beautiful and just reflects the entire fic so well. it really sets the tone for this last chapter.) 

Namjoon was hiding in his studio; hunched over, he cowered at his desk just tiredly scrolling through his favorite online clothing store. Distraction was his main priority at this point, he tried so hard to not overthink or go looking for more hateful comments that would send him into a downwards spiral. His face was hidden underneath the hood of his big comfy sweater, his eyes quickly scanned each item but ultimately deciding that he didn’t really like any of them enough to make a purchase. Whenever he stopped, his brain went into a frenzy the past few days, the exhaustion creeping up on him; he always thought he should have everything under control but the current situation proved him wrong. He felt powerless, not knowing how to handle all the negative articles that were being published in an abundance every hour. A weak knock made him flinch involuntarily, and when the door quietly opened bare feet waddling on the hardwood floor told him that he wasn’t alone anymore. “Hyung…” He knew the soft familiar voice all too well, but for reasons, he couldn’t explain goosebumps traveled down his back before he slowly spun around in his chair. The youngest was standing by the small wooden coffee table, dressed in all black as if he was mourning the death of a loved one and to a certain extent, Namjoon was sure, he was. He was mourning the loss of his relationship that had only just begun. “What’s up?” He had avoided being alone with the maknae; he didn’t quite know how to speak to him at this very moment in time. It was almost like an invisible barrier was separating them, making it awkward to even look him in the eyes. “I just wanted to talk to you…” “About what?” His heartbeat was quickening, Jungkook wasn’t a kid anymore but he still needed his older brothers, maybe now more than ever before. “You know…” He shuffled his feet, looking uncomfortable and out of place like he was about to change his mind and leave but he made his way around the table to sit down on the small couch. His eyes rested on him as he inhaled deeply to gain more time. “About everything that has been going on…I-I just want…” Without warning the younger boy bowed, averting his gaze to his knees. “I’m sorry, I really am.” “Jungkookie, don’t do that. You-“ The words got stuck in his throat, Namjoon knew how much it must have taken out of him to even come here and try to talk to him. Jungkook looked up to him, it wasn’t a secret that he had always had a big impact on the youngest member. But right now, the queasy feeling in Namjoon’s stomach made him feel like he failed not only as a role model but even worse, as a big brother. “No, I have to. I know, I disappointed you.” He wanted to object but couldn’t. As much as he blamed himself for what happened, he was disappointed in Jungkook and his reckless behavior. After all those years in the industry, he thought that all of them had a better understanding of how careful they had to be when it came to their privacy and personal lives. He wanted to chalk it up to Jungkook being young but he should’ve known better. 

“I hate to say it but you’re right.” A shaky breath left his lungs when he finally managed to speak, tearing down the wall that had kept all of his emotions and thoughts at bay. “I am disappointed in you. You know, I keep asking myself where it all went wrong…did we not teach you right from wrong? Did we, no - did I fail at teaching you that you need to be careful and that your personal life should never interfere with our job? Have you not learned anything from being in the industry for years? Why didn’t you think ahead? Why didn’t you delete those videos? Why did you even take them to begin with? Why didn’t you break up with your girlfriend before you started cheating on her? I have so many questions and I’m not even sure I want to know the answers because I’m afraid that it will hurt and cause more pain. You’re still my little brother but I’m questioning everything these days - I feel like I’ve failed you in so many ways.”

Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat; he didn’t know how or where to start with explaining himself. Did Namjoon even want to hear what he had to say? Would he even believe him? 

The palms of his hands were clammy as he folded them together to keep them from shaking. “Hyung, you didn’t fail just because I make mistakes. Please don’t blame yourself for something that I did…” He didn’t want to cry but the tears were already prodding at the corners of his eyes. All of them were mad at him and disappointed, it wasn’t just his image that was ruined, he tarnished the group's image forever with his stupidity. The voice inside his head that had been fairly quiet was getting louder with every second that passed - his heart hurt that he didn’t think far enough ahead to know that what they had been doing was reckless and could cause so much trouble and harm but alas, he knew that you’re always smarter looking back on your previous actions. 

“I do think I am at least partially to blame. I know, I have been busy and I wasn’t always there for you when you needed me for guidance but a part of me was hoping that you would make the right decisions regardless…I don’t want to lecture you, I don’t want to act like I can tell you what to do, Jungkook but I do feel responsible for you and your actions.” He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as his fingers intertwined with each other, his nails pressing into the delicate skin on his knuckles. “I don’t condone that you cheated on Yina and lied to all of us for so long but I do understand that you fell out of love and fell in love with someone else. It hurts that you didn’t think you could trust any of us enough to tell us or come to us for advice. We’re a family, yes, we will tell you the truth when you fuck up but we will always be here for you, we always have each other’s backs. I really thought you would have stopped for a moment to think of the consequences it could have when you took those videos but I guess, I expected too much from you. You’re only 22 years old and you are allowed to make mistakes but I just can’t help but think that somewhere along the way I messed up when you needed me.” Namjoon blinked when he saw a few stray tears rolling down Jungkook’s puffy cheeks; he didn’t want his words to hurt him but he needed to get them off his chest and if he didn’t do it now, he would probably never get a second chance. “You really didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t even know why I did most of those things. I know, I knew better even back then.” His hand automatically slid into the pocket of his hoodie to wrap around the white gold bangle, he had been carrying around ever since she gave it back to him two nights ago. “I know, I should’ve come to you, but at first I thought I just had a silly crush on y/n and it wasn’t even worth mentioning. I thought it would fade away over time but it didn’t, it only got stronger and I was too weak to fight my feelings and when we got into this web of sneaking around and lying, I just couldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me because… I-I look up to you so much, what you think of me matters to me and seeing that look of disappointment on your face…I never wanted to see that…” He croaked, trying to dim the tears flowing down his face with his sleeve. “I just wanted all of you to be proud of me, especially you, hyung but I knew that once you found out about what I did, you would be ashamed so I kept it a secret.” It felt like someone was standing on his chest, making it harder to breathe with every word he spoke.

The countless times Namjoon had seen Jungkook cry before never hurt as much as it did now; he was breaking down in front of him. Tears spilling from the big brown eyes with no sign of stopping; he wanted to get up and comfort him but he couldn’t move, it was almost like he was glued to his chair; forced to endure the punishment of seeing the youngest falling apart. “Why did you take those videos and for goodness sake why didn’t you delete them right after?” “I don’t know, it was the only thing we had when we couldn’t be together. After y/n had taken the first video…it was exciting, I liked watching it back and I’m so stupid for not thinking that it could get me in trouble.” The pressure inside his head was building up rapidly as the tears just kept coming, making his vision blurry. “We were so caught up in our little bubble of lying that we thought we were safe. We had minor scares here and there but nobody ever caught us so it never crossed my mind that somebody might get a hold of those videos after we managed to keep us a secret for so many months.” 

The older one took the inside of his cheek between his teeth, index finger tapping on his lips. “When I think back to all the excuses you made to leave with her, or how many times I saw you two leaving rooms at the company, I never would’ve thought that you were capable of doing what you did…”

“I was selfish, I put myself first to get what I want. I couldn’t bear the thought of breaking Yina’s heart and I felt horrible but I hurt her in so many ways and I know she will never forgive me and now I’m paying the price for what I’ve put her through.” His quivering lips pressed together tightly as Jungkook tried to stay in control of his body that was flooding with all the things he didn’t want to feel. “Y/n broke up with me…” He finally pulled the bracelet from his pocket, closing his eyes as his fingers traced the metal, wishing he could melt it to fix the cracks in his heart. “I deserve it, I don’t get to be happy after what I did and if I could turn back time and do the right thing - I would but I can’t. I deserve all the mean comments people are making about me, and they would rip me to shreds if they knew the whole story.” “You’ll have to forgive yourself; every day you’re growing and learning more. Next time you won’t make the same mistake again.” “How am I supposed to forgive myself when everyone hates me? Especially you guys…I can see it when you look at me, how disappointed and disgusted you are. You’re trying to be nice because we’re family but I broke your trust and I don’t even know how to fix things with Tae. He won’t even look at me, it’s like I don’t exist. I feel so lost, I want to fix everything but how do I do that? How do I get all of you to trust me again? How do I get Taehyung to forgive me? How do I make all the mean things people are saying go away? How do I get y/n back? I miss her.” In order to suppress a sob, he sunk his teeth into the soft flesh of his bottom lip - replacing the painful contractions of his heart with a stinging feeling that would soon subside.   A sigh escaped Namjoon’s lips before he rubbed his face with both of his hands. “I honestly wish I had the answers to all your questions but I think you need to focus on yourself right now. Be open and honest, not only with yourself but with the other members and you’ll see they’ll learn to trust you again. As for Taehyung, he needs time and you’ll just have to wait it out until he is ready to talk to you.” “W-wouldn’t it be easier if I just left the group? I don’t want to drag you down with me more than I already have.” He chuckled at the ridiculousness of the youngest statement. “Jungkookie, no! It’s either sink or swim and right now is the time to swim to stay afloat. You’ll have to fight to make things right again but you can come back from this. Right now it seems like you won’t; like it is the end of the world but you can and you will come out of this stronger.” Jungkook looked up and for the first time in days, he locked eyes with the leader. “It’s a little too late now, I know, but what would you do if you were in my shoes, hyung?”  Namjoon took a deep breath; he wasn’t sure if Jungkook would like his answer or not but after thinking about the options, he came to the conclusion that there was only one thing that would calm down the raging fans and the rest of the public who seemed to care too much about celebrity gossip. “If I were in your shoes, I would make a public apology. Get in front of the camera and own your mistake. Promise them that you’ll do better in the future. It will be a lot easier than hiding and waiting it out until they find a new scandal to bad-mouth somebody else.” Jungkook nodded, Namjoon only had his best interest at heart but the thought of having to stand in front of the cameras and owning up to his mistake scared him to death. What if they attacked him like starving animals? What if he messed up again and he would have to flee the country so they wouldn’t be able to lapidate him?

* After buttoning up her jacket, she looked in the small mirror on the wall - shocked to see that the concealer she had put on before work, had lost its power, making her look like she was ready to star in a zombie movie in a just a matter of hours. Sleep wasn’t easy to find; her thoughts always circling in around Jungkook and how much she missed him, missed his voice and his touch. She knew, she would be feeling like this for a while, yet she didn’t know how draining it would be. Of all the boyfriends she had been with before, none of them had anchored themselves inside her heart, unlike Jungkook who seemed to have superglued himself in place and there was no way to rip him out like an unwanted parasite. But maybe she was the parasite who poisoned his life and ruined his career; maybe all those girls were right when they said that she was the one to blame - that she was standing in the way of his future as if she hadn’t done enough damage already. No matter how badly she wanted to believe that their love was real, maybe it wasn’t. He was too good for her and she began to feel like she should just go back home to get as much space between them as possible - just in case their paths would cross again and she would get another chance at ruining his life. Shaking her head to banish the bad thoughts, a small smile tugged at her lips. Ha-na had told her not to read what people were saying online but she was weak and some girls made excellent points, she wasn’t pretty enough for Jungkook and maybe she should be pushed down the stairs because nobody would miss her anyway, especially not Jungkook. “Y/n, don’t forget to take home your new blouses.” Byungchul called as he passed by the staff room, stopping in his tracks. “I won’t.” She bowed to her boss. “What are you still doing here anyway?” He cocked an eyebrow, eyeing her suspiciously. He had told her to go home a while ago but she couldn’t bring herself to leave because if she did, she would have to be alone in her head and work was the only distraction she had. “I-I…I’m leaving now.” “Good, go home and get some rest, you look tired.” “I will.” She smiled weakly as she shouldered her bag and grabbed the little bundle of neatly folded white blouses. When she stepped outside, the cold air immediately filled her lungs and clearing her head momentarily. It would take her a lot longer to walk home but it was better than being crammed into the metro with people and even worse, maybe hearing his name somewhere that would send her into a downwards spiral of hurt and guilt. Her legs felt heavy as she dragged them over the concrete, the other people around her seemed to not have a care in the world. Everyone looked so happy, especially the couple in front of her holding hands. It wasn’t that she didn’t want others to be happy but the simple fact that Jungkook and her had never got to do just that, brought tears to her eyes. It all ended too quickly - if only they could have had one more perfect day together. 

The hard sounding footsteps of someone running echoed loudly in the store lined street but when she turned around, she only saw people walking alongside her, some of them even turned their heads to make out where it was coming from. “You’re in the way.” A girl brushed past her, bumping into her arm. “I’m sorry.” She bowed her head slightly, deciding that she probably had just been in her head too much and it had just been a figment of her imagination when suddenly someone ripped the bundle from her hand and ran down the street. It took her a moment to wrap her head around what just happened before her instincts kicked in and she hurried after the person in the black jacket. “Hey! Stop!” Her voice was weak, but to her surprise, her legs moved a lot faster than she had anticipated and she never lost sight of them, even with all those strangers around who’s faces were just a blur.

The person made a right turn into a smaller street off the side and when she finally turned the corner, she stopped in her tracks. The bundle had been ripped apart and the crisp white blouses were lying on the dirty street. Dropping her bag on the floor, she scurried to pick them up, trying to prevent them from getting ruined when someone yanked her ponytail. * Ha-na was sitting on the comfy sofa in the living room, Taehyung was resting his head on her shoulder while he busied himself on his Nintendo Switch. She was glad that he tried to distract himself and finally came out of his room, at least for a few hours, although he wasn’t speaking much to anyone that wasn’t her or his best friend. Jimin was mindlessly scrolling on his phone, the hood of his sweater pulled down deep to cover most of his face while the youngest was sitting on the floor next to him staring blankly at the tv just like the rest of the members. The atmosphere felt dense, everyone was just waiting for Sejin to come back to the dorms - he had texted Namjoon earlier that they had finally gotten a lead on who had leaked the videos. Ha-na still felt bad about everything that had happened, she had only wanted for Jungkook to do the right thing and everything just got out of hand. Her eyes rested on the bracelet he was holding, his fingers clinging onto the metal so tightly that the blood flow was low and his hand was shaking ever so slightly. When Jin had jokingly tried to take it away from him earlier, Jungkook had almost started throwing a tantrum. Would things ever go back to normal again? Going against everything she had told the others, it had become part of her routine to check any social media and news outlets for articles. She hated seeing that everyone seemed to have an opinion on Jungkook and y/n and spreading false rumors and lies that made everything worse. She was glad though that neither her boyfriend nor the youngest went online to see what people were saying, it would only put more strain on their already broken friendship. For once there had been no new publications but twitter was chaotic as always when she stumbled upon a tweet from a fan that caught her attention, linking to a video. ‘The bitch got what she deserved!’ Hesitantly Ha-na clicked on it, the quality was shaky and someone was breathing heavily and running while filming the street when loud voices could be heard in the near distance. “Oh my god! No.” She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes focused on the screen. She wanted to look away, yet she couldn’t despite being repulsed by what she saw. “What’s up?” Taehyung sat up, trying to get a glimpse of what she was watching. “Nothing…” Not managing to lock her screen in time before he had already snatched it from her hand. The pure expression of shock on his face sent shivers down her body - she didn’t want him to see it, it would hurt him so much. He mumbled something, the others’ attention now on him as his eyes grew wider by the second. “What is it?” Jimin scooted over to his best friend to see what he was looking at. “Y/n…” In the blink of an eye, everyone had gathered around them, watching how a group of girls was pulling her hair, slapping her and calling her names, while she was on the ground trying to cover her face, pleading with them to leave her alone. The video wasn’t long, and after watching it a second time, Taehyung quickly dropped the phone and got up, hurrying to the small bathroom. Carefully her eyes wandered to Jungkook, his whole body was shaking and tears were streaming down his cheeks. Ha-na wasn’t sure how he was feeling; was he hurt, angry, disappointed or sad? His face showed no emotion, simply staring into nothingness, yet she knew there was a storm brewing inside of him. Seeing faceless comments through a screen was bad but actually hearing the words ‘you ruined his career, kill yourself’ coming from someone made her feel sick to her stomach. “That was…wow…” Hoseok breathed out, before rubbing his eyes in disbelief. “We have to do something, we can’t just let this happen.” “I’m going to see if she’s okay!” Jungkook grabbed his hoodie, ready to head for the door when Jimin quickly hopped over the back of the couch to stand in his way. “You can’t do that, you’ll get in trouble. You know, y/n wouldn’t want that. I’m sure, she’s fine.” He grabbed Jungkook’s arm, stopping him from pushing past him. “How can you say that? Those girls hit her because of me! I know her better than any of you, I know she’s not okay, I can feel it.” He tried wrenching his arm from Jimin’s grasp. “Hyung, get out of the way.” It was a weak warning, his voice getting caught in his throat. “Jungkook-ah, sit down.” Namjoon finally spoke up. “We can text or call her but you’re not allowed to leave the apartment without supervision so calm down.” The youngest caved in under the stern look on their leader’s face and slumped down on the couch, burying his face in his hands. “They say, she ruined my career but do they not know how much it would hurt me when they hurt her?” The eldest gently wrapped his arm around his shoulder. “I don’t think they were thinking that far ahead, they wanted to protect you-” Jungkook scoffed. “Protect me? From what exactly? From the girl I love?” “Or protect your career? You worked so hard and they didn’t want it to be in vain?” “But that doesn’t justify their actions, they could’ve seriously hurt her.” Yoongi murmured while nibbling on his thumb. “They covered their faces like cowards.” Jungkook’s brows furrowed as Taehyung’s voice came from the bathroom. “We have to tell someone who can do something.” 

“Already sent the link to the managers.” Namjoon reassured the youngest members. “And I texted her, she says she’s okay and at home and doesn’t want you to worry, Kook.” Ha-na tried to cheer him up with a weak smile but he didn’t reciprocate it, he just gently pressed the white gold bangle to his lips. “She’s lying so I don’t worry about her…” With a drawn-out sigh, he let his head fall back; the pressure in his chest was almost too much for him to bear. He wanted to do something, he wanted all of this to stop so they could go back to being together. There had to be a way and he was determined to find it. * “I’m very sorry, I won’t disappoint you again.” Jungkook finished, looking up at Jimin in the mirror. “How was that?” “It was good. You’ll do just fine.” A forced smile spread on his face, trying to encourage the youngest while he was practicing his apology that was scheduled for this afternoon. “You think? I mean, management approved it but does it sound… sincere? I don’t want to sound like I rehearsed it.” The older boy nodded. “Jungkookie, don’t worry so much! It will be okay.” “Okay, I trust you. You’re right! I can do this.” He looked down on his script. Jimin carefully eyed him, he still looked miserable but maybe this would encourage people to finally back off and drop the story. Taking a deep breath, he plugged the power cord into the wall socket next to the table. “Are you sure, you still want me to do this? You know, you really don’t have to!” “Yes, just do it. Get it over with.”

With shaking hands Jimin picked up the small black machine, turning it on with his thumb. “Where do you want me to start? On the side, so you can hide it in case you change your mind?” “Do whatever you want, I’m not going to look until you’re done.” Jungkook closed his eyes, silently mouthing the words of the script that was resting on his knees. The buzzing noise seemed to amplify in Jimin’s ears; he had promised to support Jungkook and to help him but now that he was actually going through with it, his mind fogged up with doubts. This was a stupid idea, nobody had asked for this gesture from him but he wanted to do it anyway - he wanted the fans to know that he was sorry for his actions. So now they were hiding in the youngest bedroom, just two hours before he was supposed to stand outside the company building and deliver a heartfelt apology to the public. An apology that Jimin thought was uncalled for; neither Jungkook nor y/n had leaked those videos on purpose, they weren’t to blame but the public’s opinion was different - they demanded a statement, an apology for causing such an uproar and breaking people’s trust. But as much as he hated how everything went down, Jimin still wanted his baby brother to be happy; he deserved to be happy and perhaps this was this only way of getting a tiny piece of happiness back. His eyes looked so - lifeless, that he almost couldn’t bear to see Jungkook like this any longer. His eyes scanned the blades moving at a rapid pace when he slowly raised his arm and held it to Jungkook’s hairline. “Are you still sure you want me to do this?” He asked again, making sure Jungkook really wanted this. “Hyung, yes!” He said firmly, as Jimin carefully cut off the first lock of raven hair, watching as it fell to the floor, followed by many more. It pained him to cut Jungkook’s hair short, only a few millimeters of it still covering his scalp. “I’m all done.” He announced, turning off the razor and putting it back down. “You can look now.” Nervously, he watched Jungkook’s eyes flutter open, fixating on his reflection in the mirror. His expression was blank as he ran his hand through what was left of his hair. Jimin wasn’t sure but he could’ve sworn for a millisecond he saw tears glistening in his eyes. “It’s not too bad, right?” “Yeah, it really brings out your eyes and it will grow back in no time, you’ll see.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulders, letting his fingers dig into his shirt for a brief moment. “And there’s always wigs or hats if you hate it later.” The younger boy chuckled. “I should get cleaned up.” “I’ll help you pick out an outfit if you want.” Jimin offered as Jungkook headed for the bathroom. “Thank you.” Jimin sat on the edge of the bed, letting his eyes wander around the room - not much had changed, apart from the box by the closet door that had y/n’s things in them that Jungkook couldn’t get rid off; a few clothes, a bottle of perfume and a few letters tied together with a ribbon.  Only now he had noticed that over the past months, he had not really been in here spending time with his little brother like they used to, playing video games or watching movies on his projector but knowing what had happened in here - it left a feeling of uncertainty floating in his stomach. Of course, he knew now that Jungkook had been hiding y/n in here a lot, trying to keep the secret well hidden from the other members. But Jimin couldn’t help but think that he had started to slip through their fingers a long time ago. Back in the day, they would’ve known immediately if something was wrong but ever since Jungkook had gotten older, he had developed a tendency to lock himself in his room whenever he could and if there was no schedule then he wouldn’t leave it for days. Jimin made a pact with himself - when all of this was over, he was going to make sure Jungkook was okay, that he would force him to come out of his room and go outside with him; it just didn’t feel right to leave him be, he needed to know that they all still wanted to spend time with him and that they would always be by his side, no matter what. * Jungkook was nervously hopping from one foot to the other as he was standing behind a screen waiting his turn while someone from the PR team was outside the company building, dealing with the press. He was used to all the flashing lights of the cameras and microphones being shoved in his face but this felt different - he was alone, his brothers weren’t by his side for moral support. His fingers wrapped around the bangle in the pocket of his blazer; for some reason, it comforted him. Although she had given it back to him, it was the only thing that kept the tiny spark of hope ignited in his chest. “We have found out that our artist’s private account was hacked by a third party, we are taking legal action against the hacker who invaded his privacy and we ask you to respect everybody’s privacy regarding the issue.” Jungkook’s ears picked up a few things here and there but his mind was preoccupied with the task at hand as his stomach churned. He wanted to throw up and run away; far, far away from all the people eagerly awaiting his apology but his legs felt like jello. [Jimin - 1:42pm] You’ll be okay! Just take deep breaths, it will be over before you know it! A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when he read his brother’s message. Sometimes he really needed the encouragement from them; without them, he was lost. Sejin stuffed his own phone back into his pocket and nodded his head. “Are you ready?” “As ready as I’ll ever be…” He mumbled, as two of the other managers and a few security guards surrounded him. “Just stick to the script and you’ll do just fine. You don’t have to answer any questions. Just apologize and we’ll head back home right after.” Sejin gently rested his hand on Jungkook’s back. “I’ll be by your side the whole time.” Jungkook sunk his teeth into his lip balm coated bottom lip, as his legs involuntarily started moving with people around him. The glass door opened and the sea of flashes drowned out the sheer amount of people in the street. His heart was pounding against his ribs, as he walked up to the microphone stand. As the whispers died down, he could feel his throat closing up and his mouth felt as dry as the Sahara Desert. Eyes wandering over the blurry faces, his breathing became labored. He couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t get a word out. Maybe he should have had a sip of alcohol to calm his nerves but it was too late. In a knee-jerk reaction to buy more time, he pulled his cap off, revealing his buzzed off hair and bowing down as deep as he could as gasps echoed in his ears, mixed with girls calling his name. “Jungkook..” His manager’s voice was very close to him. “Say something…” In slow-motion he lifted his upper body, carefully scanning the crowd when his eyes found her face - he knew she wasn’t there and that his mind was playing tricks on him but it was the small push he needed to find his voice. He was doing this for her, he wanted people to just leave her alone. She didn’t deserve any of this, she didn’t deserve to be attacked online and especially not getting beat up by fans in an alley at night. The stinging pain in his chest subsided when he finally cleared his throat and found his voice again. “Thank you for taking the time out of your day to be here.” He paused, bowing his head again, trying to remember his lines but the memory of them got blurry, they were escaping him too quickly as he tried to hold onto them. “I-I just want to say, I’m very sorry for my actions. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I let down so many people with my reckless and shameful behavior.” His shaking fingers gripped on to the wooden stand of the mic for some support; Sejin’s hand calmly rested on his shoulder while the pressure it was executing felt like a ton of bricks was coming down on him as if Jungkook was about to run away and needed a reminder to stay still. “I’m so sorry to everyone and especially the fans who had to see me like this. I know, I broke your trust and disappointed all of you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me in the future and I promise to never let you down again. Army, you’re always on my mind and it really hurts me to have hurt so many of you with what I have done. Please forgive me.” After delivering his lines, he exhaled shakily; his face felt like it was on fire. “I won’t disappoint you again, I’m sorry.” The crowd was silently watching him, eagerly waiting for him to say something else as his mouth opened and closed without making a sound. “Let’s go, PR will do the rest.” His manager muttered, his hand scooting to Jungkook’s elbow to get him to turn around and go back inside. “One more thing…” Jungkook took a step forward again. “Please, leave her alone. We’re not seeing each other anymore. I-I… all I ask of you is to just leave her alone, please. She’s not in my life anymore…” He trailed off, his lips felt tense as he tried to hold it together. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled more to himself, slowly sinking to his knees on the pavement to bow one last time. The clicking of the cameras was overwhelming his senses, it almost felt like he wasn’t really inside his body anymore when he felt hands holding onto his arms and pulling him to his feet. Not needing much force, he wrenched his right arm free, hiding his tear-stained face in the crook of his elbow. “Come on…” Sejin’s voice was close to his ear as he let him guide him back inside, unsure of whether he did good or not but as soon as doors closed, the babel of alarmed voiced told him that he had gone too far. “What were you thinking going off script? Do you know how bad this could’ve been! We told you to stick to the script. Oh god…” The head of the PR team gestured wildly in front of his face. “I don’t know if we can fix this…Jungkook why do you always have to cause so much trouble?” She puffed up her cheeks before letting out a disappointed grunt. “I’m sorry.” He fixated his eyes on the ground. “It’s just…some fans attacked y/n and I-I just wanted to protect her. I wanted the fans to leave her alone. They should take their anger out on me and not on her.” He felt the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes again, immediately trying to dry them with a tissue. “He didn’t say anything bad. He just asked them to leave her alone, it’s not a big deal.” Sejin interrupted before Hyejin could scold him some more. “I’ll take him home now.” Gently he nudged the raven-haired boy towards the elevator that would take them to the car. “Do you think I did the wrong thing?” Jungkook mumbled as he sunk deeper into the passenger seat, avoiding his manager’s gaze at all costs. “I mean it’s not ideal but it’s okay. I understand why you did it…” He trailed off, averting his attention to the road until they stopped at a red light. “I saw what they did to her, so I understand that you want to do something to protect her. If you want, I’ll request security for her until it all blows over.” Jungkook shook his head, still not used to not feeling his bangs brush against his forehead whenever he moved or touched his head. “I don’t think she would like that but I’ll have Ha-na ask her.” * Jungkook was sitting cross-legged on his bed, his back resting against the headboard, emptily staring at his laptop where he had put on a let’s play to keep his brain and body from going stir-crazy. “Jungkookie?” Hoseok opened the door, sticking his head inside his room. “I thought, maybe you wanted something to eat? You haven’t had anything all day.” The older one came in, closing the door behind him before proceeding to sit on the foot of the bed. Carefully he placed the plate on the mattress between them, pulling a can of coke from the pocket of his hoodie. “Did you make that?” Jungkook eyed the sandwich from all angles, lifting the plate up to eye level. “Jin hyung helped me, he said I was stacking the ingredients in the wrong order.” The older one rolled his eyes before a smile spread on his face. “But I think there’s no wrong order, it’ll taste the same no matter what.” He winked, opening the can, and placing it on the nightstand. Jungkook chuckled. “You’re right.” He wasn’t particularly hungry but since his brother had been so kind as to make him something to eat, he eagerly took a bite. “Delicious.” He pressed out while chewing the bread. “Good, I’m glad you like it.” Hoseok reached out to pat his head but Jungkook pulled away immediately - he felt self-conscious, even more so after getting scolded by his hyungs for cutting his hair short. Not wanting to admit that he had lost some of his confidence with each strand that had been cut off - but maybe that was what he deserved, after putting everyone around him through so much. For a while they just sat on his bed, Hoseok watching him devour the food and sipping on the sugary beverage - neither of them saying a word but the silence didn’t feel as uncomfortable as it did just days ago, at least to the older one it didn’t. “Jungkookie, listen…” With wide eyes, he stared at Hobi when he finally spoke. “I didn’t just come here to bring you food, I actually wanted to say something.” “Okay?” Anxiety was making his chest feel tight; instantly regretting eating the sandwich as he was about to throw it back up. He didn’t need to get scolded again, he didn’t want to hear yet again what a terrible person he was and that he couldn’t do anything right these days. “I just wanted to, you know, tell you that we’re okay.” Almost choking on his own saliva, Jungkook cleared his throat. “We’re okay?” He repeated dumbfounded. “Yes, we are. I know, I wasn’t really supportive and judgmental at first but I just didn’t know what to think or how to handle the situation. I hope you understand where I’m coming from… I had to sort through my thoughts and came to the conclusion that I was just worried about you and our career. You are like family to me, JK; I want what’s best for you and I know, you’re probably mad at me too but I’m here for you now.”  “I was never mad at you.” He mumbled, averting his gaze to white bedding between them. “I know I disappointed all of you. I never wanted you to find out what I did, especially not like this.” “I know that but let’s just put in the past, okay?” Hoseok carefully placed his hand on Jungkook’s knee. “You’re going through so much right now and I just want to be here for you and help you. It really hurts to see you so sad all the time.” A weak smile tugged at his lips. “I’m going to be okay, you don’t have to worry.” “I worry about you all the time, we all do. So please, Jungkookie, if you need to talk to someone, we’re all here for you, you know that right?” “Hyung, I know that.” 

* Jimin knocked on the door, a short knock followed by two quick ones - their not so secret sign that it was either one of them before he entered the youngest room, who was busy pulling out clothes from his closet and throwing them on the floor. 

“Is that what you wanted help with? Sorting out your clothes?” Jimin mused, trying to find a free piece of flooring for him to step closer to Jungkook. “Hyung, no…I-” He gasped, practically ripping a hoodie from a hanger. “I have a plan, and I need your help.” “A plan? A plan that involves donating clothes to charity?” “No…” Jungkook held two identical-looking black hoodies up. “I’m going to see y/n.” “WHAT?” Jimin’s eyes grew wide, the sheer panic was straining his voice. “You’re not allowed to do that, you will get into trouble.” “I know but I don’t care. I just want to see her and I’m not going to wait any longer.” “And how do you plan on doing that, huh? We still have security around and last time I checked, the press is still waiting outside.” “That’s where you’ll come in…” There was a dangerous twinkle in Jungkook’s eyes that could only mean trouble but Jimin was more than intrigued and willing to help. “Do you want me to call you a taxi? Because I have my phone right here.” “No, you’ll help me sneak past security and the press, I’ll take care of the rest.” “I will need more details…” “Go get your black sweat pants and Vans, I’ll explain it to you when you get back here.” Jimin was confused, but he blindly followed the instructions as he quickly walked back to his room. For once happy that Hoseok was so adamant about his skincare routine that he had the room to himself for a bit. “What are you doing? I saw you sneaking into Jk’s room.” A deep voice made him spin around on his heels. Taehyung was walking towards him, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “I’m just helping him with something.” “With what?” “I can’t tell you.” Immediately he regretted saying those words to his best friend, who looked so hurt that his lips pursed trying to hide his dismay. “Okay, fine, I’ll tell you but you have to promise me that you won’t tell a soul what we’re doing.” “Promise.” He held up his pinky, so Jimin could wrap his own around it. “Stamp it.” They said in unison when they twisted their hands so the pads of their thumbs could meet. “We’re trying to sneak Jk out of here so he can go check on y/n.” “What?” Taehyung whisper yelled.  “Yeah, please don’t tell anyone.” “I won’t.” Taehyung locked eyes with him. “I will help you.” “What?” Jimin was confused, Taehyung was still mad at them, why was he now offering to help Jungkook? “Yes, I want to know if she’s okay too…” He muttered, his cheeks turning pink. “Ever since I saw what happened to her, I’ve been worried sick. I know she loves Jungkook and she probably wants to see him too…so I’m going to help him.” An overwhelming feeling spread in Jimin’s chest, although Taehyung was so deeply hurt by what they had done, he still loved them; putting aside his own hurt to help his friends. Jimin felt his eyes tearing up, quickly wiping them with his sleeve. “I’m sure, Jungkookie will appreciate your help, Taetae.” He ruffled the younger one's hair. “You’ll need black sweats and a matching hoodie, so go grab them.” Tae nodded, hurrying back to his room to grab his clothes. A small part of Jimin was unsure whether Jungkook would approve of this but for the time being, he was just glad that Taehyung was coming around; it was the first step to mending the broken friendships. They stood in front of the mirror, the three of them wearing matching black outfits, a black mask to cover half their faces and the hoods pulled deep down their foreheads. “I think this will work, it’s dark outside if we move fast, they won’t notice a difference.” Taehyung muttered, adjusting his mask once again. “Jungkook-ah, don’t do anything stupid. If it’s too risky, we will find another way, okay?” “Sure, yeah.” He lied, not an ounce of his body was going to give up on seeing her tonight. Every nerve inside of him was missing her, he couldn’t wait - each minute that passed felt like torture. He was losing her, she was getting further and further away from him and there was nothing he could do - it was like he was trying to catch smoke with his bare hands. “Then let’s go.” Jimin clapped his hands together and they quietly walked out into the hallway, trying not to make a sound. Jimin knew that this idea was stupid beyond belief and he didn’t quite understand why he was participating in it but helping Jungkook was more important, they could deal with the repercussions later, together.  “Where do you think you’re going?” Jin’s voice made the three boys flinch when he turned on the light. “Why are you dressed like that?” “We…uhm…” Jimin tried to come up with a white lie but his brain was slowing down.  “I’m going to see y/n!” Jungkook said bluntly. “And they’re helping me.” 

Jimin quickly rammed his elbow into the youngest ribs to shut him up but it was too late. They would now have to go back to their rooms without even the slightest chance of leaving the building. “I’m appalled.” The eldest clicked his tongue. “There’s no way for you to get past security, especially for you Jungkook.” “We’ll find a way. We have to.” He stuttered, not having an idea of how to even leave the apartment without having to face the guard outside. “You should’ve just come to me earlier.” “What?” “I’ll help you. Wait by the door, you’ll know when the time is right.” Jin winked at them, before grabbing his car keys from the sideboard and leaving the apartment. Taehyung quickly grabbed the door-handle, making sure it didn’t close and they could listen to what was going on. “I just need to grab something from my car, I’ll be right back.” “Alright, sir.” The stern security guard said, not moving an inch from his chair. “How is that supposed to help us get out?” Jungkook rolled his eyes, he was getting antsy waiting for something to happen. The others shrugged, pressing their ears to the door, focusing on any sign from the oldest member. Only a few minutes later, Jin’s panicked voice suddenly echoed through the hallway. “You need to go down to the parking garage. I saw some people down there sneaking around.” “What?” “Yes, I think they’re trying to get access to the building.” A lot of rustling was making it difficult for them to understand what was going on but soon Jin pulled the door open. “Go.” He whispered. “They should be distracted for a while.” “Thank you.” Jungkook mouthed, as he hurried towards the stairs, following the older boys as they sprinted down to the exit. For once, luck was on their side and they soon stood underneath the trees, hiding in complete darkness. “How are we going to do this now?” Taehyung was trying to catch his breath, his hand pressing into his side where he felt a sting. His heart was racing and his breathing was labored, the adrenaline rush was making him feel lightheaded. Jungkook exhaled. “You go out first, make sure they see you. You’ll have to move quickly and then Jimin will do the same and if the timing’s right, I’ll go.” “Do you think that will work?” Jimin questioned, still not convinced that the plan was well thought out. “I don’t know, we will see, I guess.” They quickly moved to the exit, where the press was still gathered at this hour. Quietly they hid behind a wall, giving them the perfect view of their playing field. Jungkook watched how Taehyung pulled the hood deep down his face, speed walking on the right side to sneak away behind the spectators but they easily spotted him, almost attacking him with microphones and cameras. “Jimin-ah, go.” He nodded, making sure the mask was covering his mouth before he ran out on the left side, making the paparazzi almost break their necks. “That’s him! That’s him!” A woman screeched and they collectively hurried after Jimin, who was running like the devil himself was chasing him down the street. Taehyung was leaning against the wall, waving his hand by his side of his body and that was all Jungkook needed to sprint past him as fast as he could. There was no time to thank his brothers, he would do that later, now he had to focus on running and getting enough distance between him and all those people. He didn’t care that the cold air was making his eyes water, he didn’t care that his legs were starting to feel weak; he had to keep going; repeating her name over and over in his head. A loud banging on the door made her sit up straight in her bed, her body involuntarily started shaking right away. Did they find out where she lived? Did they follow her home? She wasn’t quite sure if she really heard someone calling her name, or if she was imagining it as she slowly got up and quietly walked towards the door. “Y/n open the door, please.” She recognized his voice instantly, her fingers wrapping tightly around the handle before pressing it down; she had no strength left in her to fight the need to see his face. “Kookie, what are you…” Without a word, he stepped inside closing the door with his foot before wrapping his arms around her to hide his face in the crook of her neck. Hesitantly her nails dug into his hoodie, bunching up the fabric in her fists. He didn’t say anything, she just felt his tears on her skin burning like acid rain. When her grip loosened, he pulled away from her but keeping his gaze low. “We should go to my room.” “Okay.” He followed her with his heart hammering in his chest; he had noticed her hesitation and it made it harder for him to breathe. What if coming here was not a good idea?  Reluctantly they stood facing each other but her brows furrowed and her hand went up to his head, pulling the hood down - eyes widening when she saw it. Jungkook felt queasy, he didn’t want her to see his hair this short. “I-I…noona…” “I like it, you look manlier.” Biting down on her bottom lip, she forced her lips into a smile to suppress the tears that were about to spill from her eyes. Gently, she ran her hand over his head, making him lean into her touch. “I really do like it, you look handsome.” Jungkook let out a staggered breath; what she thought mattered most to him and if she liked it then he would be able to like it too, eventually, maybe. Only now he noticed the bruises on her cheeks, the little cuts on her forehead. “I’m sorry they did that to you.” He swallowed an invisible lump, his fingers gently reaching out to touch her cheek but she moved her head away from him. “It’s okay, I’m fine.” “Are you really?” She nodded but it wasn’t convincing enough, he pulled her in close, ever so lightly he cupped her face to press the lightest of kisses to her cheeks and forehead. Eyes swimming in tears, she looked up at him. “You still love me…?” Jungkook felt tears running down his cheeks. “Yes, I still love you.” He didn’t know why but he leaned in for a kiss - he just wanted to be with her and not think of anything that happened over the past couple of days. The moment their lips touched he felt a hiccup in his heartbeat like when he missed a step. Everything just felt for so right again like they belonged together and he was sure she must have been sensing it too. Deepening the kiss, his tongue was practically begging for access when out of the blue she pushed him away. “What’s wrong?” He asked, not able to wrap his head around what just happened. “Go! You need to leave. This isn’t good, okay?” “Wait! Why? I don’t want to leave, I want to be with you!” “Jungkook you have to go!” He didn’t understand; mere seconds ago she was kissing him back and now she was telling him to leave, but he didn’t want to, not yet at least. His eyes were focusing in on the bracelet that she was still wearing, and so did he. She never took it off, not even after she broke up with him, just like he promised her on that day at the beach… To Jungkook’s own surprise, lies were rolling off his tongue so easily these days - without batting an eye, he had told his hyungs that he was taking Yina out for the day. When in reality, it was y/n’s day off and he wanted to spend it with her, far away from people they knew to lower the risk of getting caught. In the early hours of the morning, he had picked her up to take her to Naksan beach which was four hours away from Seoul, on the opposite coastline. Contrary to road trips with Yina, who enjoyed just watching the scenery, the drive with y/n was different - they would sing together, she’d feed him snacks she packed and when they got quiet, she played with his hair while watching the sunrise. In Jungkook’s opinion, the drive itself was perfect - even if they would never arrive at their destination, he was truly happy that day. After exploring Yangyang and eating a ridiculously big lunch, they finally went to the beach, walking along the pier to the little red lighthouse to take some pictures. He recalled being here for a photo shoot not too long ago but back then they didn’t have time to wander around and enjoy the beautiful view of the ocean. The weather was dreary, clouds in all shades of gray forming a big cluster on the sky, making them the only two people who dared to visit the beach that day. “Can you put him in your pocket?” She held out the little plush bunny in swimming shorts that he had bought for her at a small souvenir shop in town. “I don’t want to get him wet.” “Of course.” He neatly tucked the bunny in the pocket of his jacket, making sure the button was secured, not wanting to risk losing it. She smiled up at him while rolling up her jeans and stuffing her socks into her sneakers before she ran towards the shoreline to dip her feet into crystal clear water. “It’s so cold.” She squealed, jumping from one foot to the other. “Come on, hurry up!” “I’m coming.” He called, slowly slipping off his own shoes but watching her run away from the waves that crashed on the sand was a lot more fun than doing it himself. The sand felt soft underneath his feet when he made his way over, making sure his eyes never left her. It dawned on him that he had never noticed, until now, how cute she actually was. Of course, he knew how beautiful she was but her little squeals whenever a wave caught up to her made his heart melt - he really was the luckiest guy on earth to have found his soulmate without even having to look for her. It was almost like he had never properly understood what real love felt like until he looked in her eyes; the thought often crossed his mind but a part of him thought it was ridiculous to even think that way. His heart, on the other hand, was sure that she was the girl he’d be spending the rest of his life with. “What are you doing?” Her voice caught him off guard, he hadn’t noticed that he was standing still, just looking at her. “I-I was just thinking…” He trailed off, ears turning a deep shade of pink underneath his cap while she was walking towards him, her hand stretched out for him to hold. “Kookie, don’t think about what happens when we get back to Seoul, please. I want to have a nice day, okay?” He nodded, lacing their fingers together - if only she knew what had been on his mind. She lifted their hands up to press a chaste kiss on the back of his hand before she started running, pulling him along with her. The water was cold but it felt unbelievably good, he couldn’t remember the last time he went to a beach just to have some fun and not for something work-related. For a while, they played catch with the waves and splashed each other with water until he felt exhaustion spreading to his limbs.  He sat down in the sand; just far enough so the water couldn’t reach him. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, letting the fresh salty air fill his lungs and the gusts of wind caressed his skin and at that moment he felt complete, the missing puzzle pieces were all in place like nothing could go wrong. He felt her presence, his eyes fluttering open as she was about to sit down next to him but he quickly pulled her in between his legs so she could lean against his chest. Tightly he wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on top of her head. Neither of them said a word, just watching a few stray clouds letting hints of the hidden blue sky peek through the cracks; the calming sound of the waves crashing on the shore seemed to drown out the whole world around them. Her fingers gently played with his as she shifted a little to rest her head against his shoulder. “I wish every day could be like this.” She mumbled softly, making his heart ache. He wanted to give her everything she wanted, he really did and he would go to the end of the world for her if that meant she was happy. Jungkook leaned down, gingerly pressing his lips on top of her head. “Then I’ll take you to the beach every day and every day can be like this.” And although they both knew that it was just a fantasy and would never be possible, he heard the smile in her voice when she whispered “Okay.” Suddenly she untangled his arms from around her torso and kneeled down in front of him, still between his legs. “I wanted to give you something…” Her hand slid into the pocket of her jacket. “Close your eyes.” He did as he was told, her shaking fingers wrapped around his wrist. “Hold still.” He could hear she was concentrating when something cold touched his skin and he fought the urge to flinch. “Okay, you can open your eyes.” Looking down on his wrist, there was a black leather bracelet with a silver plate. “I- y/n, you didn’t have to..” “Yes I had to, you did all this for today.” She paused, pulling up her sleeve to reveal the same bracelet on her wrist but the delicate metal plate was rose-gold. “Thank you for making our 100th day anniversary so special.” She leaned in, her lips brushing against his and his heart stopped. He didn’t know, he had absolutely no idea it was their anniversary. Maybe because they were keeping their relationship a secret and they never had a real official first date, or maybe it was because she had mentioned that those things didn’t really matter to her anyway that he had paid no attention as to how many days they had been together. He felt like a jerk but he knew that if he told her the truth it would break her heart and that was the last thing he wanted. “I’m never taking it off, thank you.” He pulled her in closer, crashing his lips on hers; hoping that she could feel how much he loved her. “Can you at least look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to leave?” His voice was fragile; he was scared that she would do it and he could already feel the cracks in his heart getting bigger with every breath he took without her giving him an answer. “If you can’t say it when looking at me…” “Then what? You’re not going to leave?” He shook his head, ready to stand his ground; he wasn’t going to leave now, not after what he had been through to get here. “No, I won’t because I don’t really think you want me to…” Throwing her hands up in frustration, she let out a sigh. “What part of us being together is bad, don’t you understand?” “I don’t understand because you and I is the only good thing that has come from all of this.” “But there is no you and me anymore! I ruined everything.” “What do you mean you ruined everything?” “I ruined your friendships, as well as my own and your career. I shouldn’t be around you and that’s why there is no you and me anymore. Got it?” His mouth opened and closed without making a sound; did she really think she was the only one responsible for what happened - that she was the only one hurting all the time? “So can you please just leave?” She mumbled, looking down at her feet but he couldn’t get his own to move. “No, noona... I don’t want you to think that you ruined everything. You didn’t, you made everything better for me.” Carefully he moved in a little bit closer, wanting to wrap his arms around her and just hold her until she understood that he was all in and wouldn’t go anywhere, even if she didn’t want him to stay. She let out a sigh. “You say that now because you don’t want to see that I fucked everything up.” Slowly she sat down on her bed, fiddling with the hem of her pajama top to keep her busy from doing something she’d regret. “You really didn’t, I promise.” Sitting down next to her, he got a good look at the bruises on her legs; he wasn’t the only one who had been through hell and back these past days. He was desperately looking for something he could say - something that would make her change her mind and just take him back. It didn’t matter that to him that he would’ve lied to everyone again, he needed to be with her and if that meant the end of his career then so be it; he was willing to give up his dreams for her but he knew that if he voiced his thoughts, she would never let that happen. After a while, he cleared his throat that was threatening to close up. “So…do you really want me to leave?” His tongue had trouble forming the words; he had imagined that him showing up at her place would go differently. He had been sure that she would’ve been happy to finally see him again but he had never been so wrong in his life. She adjusted her position to face him; Jungkook was preparing himself to go home and hide in bed when her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips hungrily pressed on his. He was in shock; he didn’t see it coming so all he could do for a moment was stare at her face before his eyes fluttered shut and kissed her back. Licking into his mouth, her hands started pulling at his hoodie, wanting to remove the unwanted item of clothing. Firmly his hands wrapped around her wrists as he broke away from her. “Noona, what does this-“ 

Her index finger pressed to his open mouth while she placed soft kisses to his jawline. “Ssshhh just be with me now…” Jungkook nodded, despite being confused. His mind was racing but he still couldn’t bring himself to say no to her, although he had so many questions that were still unanswered. Deliberately she pulled the hoodie over his head before reconnecting their lips in a somewhat innocent kiss. Almost immediately he felt her fumbling with the drawstrings of his sweat pants, rushing to get rid of everything that separated them. “Noona…” He attempted to mumble into the kiss, this time she pulled away. “Kookie, please.” Her whiny voice was the last push he needed to gently push her down into the pillows on the bed. Kissing her again, his trembling fingers started unbuttoning her top; his nerves were getting the upper hand like they did the first time they slept together. Their tongues were shyly playing a game of catch as her nails gently scratched over his bare shoulders; he could still taste the all too familiar traces of her vanilla lip balm, maybe not everything had changed. Blindly his hand cupped her breast, rolling the bud between his index finger and thumb, instantly evoking a soft whimper from her as her hips bucked up, colliding with his.  Leaving a trail of butterfly kisses down her neck to the rosy mounds of flesh, sucking the hardening bud into his mouth. Jungkook groaned when a delicious moan reached his ears, making his member twitch excitedly in its soft fabric prison. Gingerly he let his hand followed the curve of her body when he licked his way back up to her mouth.  “Please touch me…” A whisper that held so much power over him.  Her skin was covered in goosebumps as he reached the waistband of her panties, letting his fingertips slip inside. “You’re so wet already, baby.” Jungkook mumbled against her neck as she held on tightly to his shoulder while his middle finger ventured down her core; gasping when it dipped inside just a bit to gather some of her juices. Lips glued to her neck, he let his fingertips trace her lips, wanting to remember how every inch of her body felt - he needed to engrave it into his memory just in case this was the last time he would get to touch her. “Baby…” She whined when he finally circled in around her clit, avoiding the spot that would soon make her squirm. Peppering soft kisses up to her ear, where he gently nibbled on her lobe. “I missed you so much, you don’t even know…” Jungkook’s voice was low and raspy when he spoke, eliciting a small cry from her when his fingers applied more pressure around the sensitive nub. “I missed kissing you…” Her nails dug deeper into his skin as she tried to keep quiet, only betrayed by her own hips who tried so desperately to get more friction than Jungkook was supplying. He exhaled, stopping the motion of his fingers, nervous anticipation filling the gap between them. “I missed touching you…” Arching her back off the mattress when he finally grazed the spot he’d been avoiding deliberately, her legs squirming against his at the newfound waves of pleasure coming down on her. “Stay still, baby.” He softly chuckled, managing to trap at least one of her legs underneath his right. Fondly he smiled down on her as he watched her blossom under his ministrations, pressing her arm to her mouth to muffle the repeated moans of his name. Until now Jungkook had never realized how amazing it was to watch her fall apart; he did enjoy using his tongue but being able to see how her face flushed and her lashes fluttered from the little circles his fingers were drawing was out of this world - making him fall in love with her all over again. 

“P-please stop.” She tried to wiggle away from him a little; normally he would keep going, knowing that she was getting close but he paused, giving her enough time to slip her hand down his sweats and wrap it around his length. “Noona…ahh.” His voice hitched and his head fell back when she slowly started rubbing her thumb over the tip, coating it with the beads of precum that just kept spilling. Her touch was very light but he was so desperate to feel her that his body reacted erratically, bucking his hips into her hand; never wanting her to stop. Trailing sweet kisses up his neck until she reached his lips, she delicately sucked on his bottom lip, making it throb in her mouth; her hand moving up and down his dick painfully slow, feeling him getting harder by the second. Jungkook whimpered, almost melting in his briefs. He was getting ready to distract himself from his own pleasure by touching her again when she broke the kiss. “Kookie…” There was no moaning, no outcry to get him to touch her and his heart sank for a second, fearing that they had gone too far. “Love me…” She whispered softly, looking up at him, her other hand cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning into her touch, relishing the warm feeling spreading in his chest before shifting his body weight to his knees, he placed a kiss to her lips, fully prepared to show her how much he loved her. Kneeling down between her legs, he gently lifted them to roll her panties up to discard them on the floor next to the bed, before spreading them again. “I’m so lucky, you’re so handsome.” She smiled lovingly, wanting to reach up to touch his face but he wouldn’t let her, making her pout in return. A little too eagerly, Jungkook pushed down his sweats and briefs - his heart hiccuping in anticipation of being one with her again. Holding and kissing her was amazing but sleeping with her always felt different to him; it was some form of a deeper connection he couldn’t even begin to explain. Lying down on top of her, supporting most of his weight on his arms next to her shoulders, he started peppering small kisses all over her cheeks to her lips, letting his tongue disappear in her mouth to taste her again. Slowly grinding against her core, just to make sure she was still wet enough for him when she whimpered into the kiss; the engorged tip of his member applying enough pressure to her clit to send her flying again.  Shoving his one hand between their bodies to line himself up, before he pushed the tip inside, the feeling of bliss washing over him as he felt the velveteen walls hugging his dick. “Is that okay?” He asked, brushing her hair from her face. “More than okay.” She smiled, puckering up her lips for yet another kiss.  Jungkook was moving slowly, taking his sweet time, enjoying every little noise he was eliciting from her with each stroke. Her nails were digging into his shoulder blades, clinging onto him for dear life, as if it was just a dream and he would disappear the moment she woke up. Their lips were glued together, only ever breaking apart to up their oxygen intake before diving back in for more. He adjusted his position, pushing her legs up to his sides so she could rest her calves on his lower back - his body was ready to chase his down his high but he had to shift his focus on hers first. When he bottomed out after a hard thrust, she pulled away, letting her head fall back. “Oh god, right there.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth; he loved that she always let him know when he was hitting the right spot. “’s that good, baby?” He asked, hips slamming into her much harder than before but she couldn’t answer him, too busy trying to muffle her moans against his skin. He wanted her to let herself fall and just bathe in the waves of pleasure washing over her body but he could tell she was holding back a little. Jungkook sucked on his fingers, letting his hand venture down to the swollen bundle of nerves to rub it again. Gasping for air, she locked eyes with him as she let out whiny moans of his name. “Jungkook-ah…” “It’s okay baby, you can cum. Don’t wait for me.” He encouraged her, sucking a small bruise on the column of her throat. Bottoming out with every thrust, he knew that she needed him to go faster to reach her high. Alternating between little figure-eights and flicking her clit, he knew she would soon reach the point of no return. Her moans were fogging up his brain - each one higher in pitch than the last, making it difficult for him to keep a steady pace. The knot in his stomach that was pulling itself tighter and tighter was about to snap but he had to keep going, they were both so unbelievably close that he wasn’t sure how much longer he could last, her hips now meeting his halfway. “You feel so good.” Jungkook panted, her convulsing walls trying to milk him dry; his scrotum contracting dangerously.  “Baby!” She whined a heads up, her left hand fisting the sheets while the other tightly squeezed his biceps, the stinging feeling of his skin completely subdued by the rush of her high. He was in a daze, watching her come undone, her loud moans ringing in his ears as his member suddenly erupted when he bottomed out, hot white streams of cum painting her walls as white as snow. Letting his body sink onto hers, he buried his face in the crook of her neck as his own orgasm washed over him. “I love you, baby…I love you so much…I love you” He let out a slurry of moans against her sweat glistening skin, thrusting sloppily to get every last drop as deep inside of her as he could, never wanting to come down from this high. Breathing heavily but staying still, he softly pressed little pecks to her shoulder when a sob shook him to his core. He lifted his head up to look at her but hers was turned the other way. “Noona, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” “No, I’m fine…j-just ignore me.” She blubbered, trying to wipe the tears away without him noticing. He pulled out to lie down beside her, wrapping his arms around her trembling body. “Tell me what’s wrong…let me fix it.” He whispered; the dopamine from his orgasm that had rushed through his veins, vanishing instantly. “No, no it’s okay…just give me a minute.” But he couldn’t, the world no longer made sense to him; he just couldn’t come up with a reason why she suddenly broke down in tears after he had just told her how much he loved her when she had wanted him to make love to her. “Noona, it’s not okay. You wouldn’t be crying if it was.” She turned around in his arms, burying her face against his chest, her tears feeling like a thousand needles poking and prodding at his skin. “I-I…” A choked sob riddled her body, his embrace tightening around her. He felt so lost, not knowing what to do or how to comfort her. Was he supposed to just hold her and let her cry? But that was easier said than done when he felt tears pricking at his own eyes. “I love you so much, Kookie and it just sucks that we can’t…be together anymore.” “Yes, we can be together, don’t say that.” Desperation was flaring up in his chest as the tears finally escaped their prison. “No, we can’t and you know it.” The sniffles were muffled against his quickly rising chest. “But why? I’m here now. I will always be here.” “Because I’m holding you back and…” He wanted to go deaf so that he wouldn’t have to hear her say any of that nonsense. “- and I’m just standing in your way and ruining your career and I don’t want that. I want you to be happy even if it’s without me.” “But how am I supposed to be happy without you?” His heart was slowly crumbling to pieces, not able to grasp the concept that he could ever be okay without her in his life.  “I don’t know but eventually you’ll move on with someone else…” Untangling his arms from her, he sat up, forcing her to do the same. She didn’t know one bit, how much he had suffered from being separated from her, his heart felt like it was incomplete, missing its other half.  “I won’t! After everything, we went through…I don’t want anyone else. I want you, don’t you get it?” Averting her eyes to the pillows, she tried to avoid looking at him - tears rapidly flowing down his cheeks. “I want you too but you know, sometimes things just don’t work out, no matter how badly you want them to.” “Bullshit! You just let those stupid comments get to you and now you’re pushing me away because those people made you believe you’re not good for me.” “But they are right…” She weakly protested. “If you truly believed that, you would’ve taken your bracelet off but you’re still wearing it…do not lie to me like that.” He inhaled shakily, feeling like someone was standing on his chest, infringing on his ability to breathe properly. As if she was reminiscing, her fingertips traced the metal plate on the bracelet. “I just want what’s best for you…and it’s not me.” “Y/n, you know that we are meant to be together. You have said it yourself that we are soulmates, how can you even say that we’re not supposed to be together?” “You have to grow up and learn that you can’t always get what you want. This isn’t a candy store…” “Are you even listening to yourself? You’re trying so hard to keep us apart with those stupid reasons…” He got up, pulling his pants up and reaching for his hoodie on the floor. He could tell that she wanted to say something but she kept quiet, fresh tears dripping down her cheeks and onto her bare chest. “I’m not going to give up so easily…you will see that we are meant to be together and I don’t care what anyone says and you shouldn’t either…maybe you can grow up and learn that we are a thing that’s worth fighting for.”  His hand slid into the pocket of his hoodie, holding tightly onto the white gold Love bracelet, before placing it on her nightstand.  “This is yours because I’m yours.” 

*

“Where is he?” Namjoon was pacing up and down the living room, checking his watch for the hundredth time in the past 20 minutes, after they had noticed that Jungkook wasn’t home or nowhere to be found anywhere in the apartment complex, or around on the premisses to clear his head. “I’d like to know that too…” Yoongi was unusually worried, eyeing the other members who were quietly sitting on the sofa, pretending they couldn’t hear a word they were saying. “You guys know something...” Hoseok contemplated, tapping on his chin with his index finger. “I’m sure of it, you all look really suspicious…” “Exactly! Spill it!” Yoongi agreed while Namjoon tried calling the youngest yet again. “What? We don’t know anything.” Jin shrugged his shoulders. “I think, we should just calm down, he’ll be home soon. I’m sure, he just needed to blow off some steam. Did anyone check the gym?” “He’s not picking up.” The leader informed the group when the heavy front door opened and closed and Jungkook dragged his feet into the living room. “Where have you been? We were worried about you!” Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon scolded him in unison. “Out.” He mumbled, his eyes were puffy from crying and he wanted nothing more than to hide in his bedroom and don’t see or talk to anyone. “Out?” Namjoon repeated. “You do know that you are not allowed to go out without supervision? We were worried that something happened to you and all you say is ‘out’?” “But it didn’t. I’m fine, nobody saw me.” “Jungkook-ah…” Jimin said softly, he could tell by the look on his face that something wasn’t right. “What did she say?” “Who?” Hobi interrupted but Jimin indicated with his hand for him to stay quiet. “We’re not getting back together…” “You went to see y/n?” Usually, Namjoon always stayed calm but the tension on his face told everyone that he was getting upset at the youngest for breaking the rules when they all needed to be extra careful. “I’m sorry, Jk.” Jin smiled sadly. “It’s okay…if you don’t mind, I wanna be alone for a bit.” “Sure thing.” Jimin reached out and gave his hand a light squeeze. “If you want some company, we’re here for you, okay?” The youngest nodded and disappeared down the hallway to seek comfort in his bedroom. Namjoon scoffed. “I can’t believe, he actually did that…he’s trying really, really hard to get into trouble these days.” “Lay off him! He’s having a hard time right now!” Jin furrowed his eyebrows, letting out an elongated sigh. “Are you serious? He’s doing one reckless thing after the other.” “Maybe it was bound to happen that he acted out…” Yoongi pondered. “I mean, he always had to behave and stay in line…” “He’s not acting out, he just wanted to see her after what happened to her. It’s normal, he’s in love with her.” Jimin defended Jungkook, who wasn’t present to fight for himself. “We should be supportive now. You guys heard that they’re not getting back together. I think he needs us.” “You’re right…” Namjoon gave in, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “He really does need us right now.”  While the others were discussing how they could cheer their little brother up, Taehyung slipped out into the hallway unnoticed; quietly he walked towards Jungkook’s room. Stopping a few times, wanting to turn around but he couldn’t. A part of him was still hurt, his heart aching every time he thought about either one of them but the anger he felt had subsided slowly, at times he felt an overwhelming amount of disappointment flooding his mind but he kept telling himself that it was natural to feel that way after being lied to by two of your best friends. It struck him as odd to feel pity for Jungkook when he had caused all of this trouble in the first place, but he did - seeing his little brother heartbroken wasn’t something he could ignore and he knew that y/n was feeling the same, the urge to comfort her as well rearing its head in the pit of his stomach. Taehyung inhaled, as if to gather up all the courage he could muster and knocked on the door, faintly he heard the youngest mumble a ‘yes’ and he quickly opened and closed the door behind him. Jungkook was lying on his bed, trying to hide the tissue he had used to soak up the tears under his pillow, while Taehyung sat down next to him. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay..” “Oh yeah, I am…” Jungkook didn’t even have to fake a smile; he was genuinely happy that Tae was finally speaking to him again. “You didn’t have to check on me but thank you, hyung!” “I was worried about you…you said, she doesn’t want to get back together?” He shook his head, his eyes drooping in sadness. “She says, she loves me but we can’t be together.” “And why’s that?” Taehyung tilted his head, confused as to why his best friend didn’t want to be with his little brother anymore. “Stupid reasons like she’s holding me back and ruining my career. I think she let those people get into her head.” Jungkook’s eyes shot up when his older brother chuckled. “What’s so funny?” “Ah, Jungkookie…” Tae patted his head. “I don’t know if you know this yet but y/n can be very, very stubborn. She thinks she’s right about something but eventually, she will realize that she’s wrong and I’m pretty sure she will come around.” “How do you kn-?”  “I’ve known her my whole life, remember? It’s her thing, always been like that.”  Jungkook sighed, his lips jutting out into a pout.  “I wish she would hurry up and realize how wrong she is…”  “Don’t worry, it’ll happen sooner than you think.” They fell silent for a moment; it wasn’t uncomfortable this time around. It was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders and they both knew, that they would be able to overcome this hurdle in their friendship. 

“Hyung…” The younger one muttered, piddling at his comforter. “I’m sorry, I lied to you. I should’ve been honest with you from the start. I really hope, you can fully forgive me one day.” “I’m not saying it doesn’t still hurt but I’m not mad anymore…and I’d like that.” Tae smiled shyly when Jimin barged into the room without knocking, stopping in his tracks when his eyes fell on both boys sitting across from each other on the bed. “What is going on?” “We were just talking.” Taehyung assured him. “What’s up?” As soon as he asked, the other members squeezed through the door, piling up in the small space between the door and the bed. “It’s only 10pm, let’s go out to eat and maybe karaoke after!” All the members were nodding enthusiastically behind Jimin. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Jungkook questioned, not wanting to get into any more trouble. “Yes, we talked to the managers and they said it’s okay if it’s just us. They’re sending a car, so go get dressed.” Jungkook couldn’t help but smile, welcoming the distraction with open arms. “Jungkookie you think of a restaurant where you want to go.” Jin called as he was walking away to his room to get dressed as well. It was almost like nothing ever happened between them, they were cooped up in a small private room at Jungkook’s favorite restaurant, eating and drinking while talking about anything that popped into their heads. Jungkook hated to admit it but he had missed his brothers very much; all the sneaking around and hiding away from them, had involuntarily built a barrier between them and with each laughter that filled the room, he could feel it breaking down. After Jimin had recovered from sliding off his chair from laughing so hard after Hoseok had spilled beer all over Yoongi’s new phone, Jungkook cleared his throat. “So…you’re all not mad at me anymore, right?” Carefully he looked at his older brothers, eyes swimming in tears as he waited for their reply. He knew, he was ruining the mood but the question was eating him up inside - he would’ve hated to find out later that they were all just pretending to make him feel alright for a couple of hours. To his surprise, Namjoon wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “We were never mad at you, just a little disappointed. You’re still a part of us, Jungkook.” Hiding his face in his hands, he let the tears fall freely but he didn’t want his hyungs to see how relieved he was that they still loved and cared about him. “Is he crying?” Jin asked astounded, looking at the others. “I think so…” Yoongi couldn’t tell until Jungkook let out a quiet sob. “Oh Jungkookie, don’t cry!” Hoseok got to his feet, hurrying around the table to give him a hug.  “When you cry, we all cry. Don’t do that!” He softly chuckled, letting his brothers hug him and wipe his tears away, thinking that maybe one day he would be okay as long as they were by his side.

                                          *~~EPILOGUE ~~*

It was a cloudy day, the sun was hiding behind a thick blanket of clouds while she was confined to the car, staring at a row of buildings that all looked the same to her. Deliberately she was pulling at her sweater to make it wider and comfier. “Not long, five more minutes or so.” She nodded, fiddling with the strap of her purse - her nerves getting the better of her. “Aren’t you excited?” “I am…” She replied, trailing off; unsure whether she was actually excited or scared. They had never talked about it, really but she was hoping it would all turn out just fine. Nervously she stepped out of the car, leaning against it to keep a close eye on the door, wishing she would have brought Taehyung or Ha-na for moral support but they were busy visiting locations for the party after the wedding reception. The unusual loud beep of her phone made her flinch when it snapped her out of her thoughts. [Jimin - 2:28pm] Don’t tell Jungkookie about his surprise party later! 🤫 And don’t worry y/n, I know he will be very excited when you tell him 😍 She let out a sigh, it was easier said than done - she had been on edge since last night, only tossing and turning all night. What if he wasn’t happy about it? The others had reassured her a million times by now that it was all going to be fine but now she was contemplating waiting a little longer, maybe even a few months, as ridiculous as it sounded in her head. She was checking her watch yet again, thinking that a minute could easily feel like hours when suddenly a door opened and a few people left the most official-looking building of them all. Her eyes found him, surrounded by the guys in his unit as they were walking towards their families after the ceremony, which she hadn’t been allowed to attend for privacy reasons, but that didn’t matter now. The tingling feeling in her legs, made her impatient and she just couldn’t stand still and wait for him to get to her, so she started running towards him. The moment he spotted her, Jungkook’s face lit up, his stomach was swarming with butterflies as he dropped his bag on the ground, ready to catch her in his arms. “Jungkook-ah, is that your girlfriend?” Minhyuk laughed next to him, nudging him with his elbow, watching as she came running, her skirt blowing in the wind. “Yes.” He said proudly, getting ready to wrap his arms around her for the first time in almost three months. “Looks like she’s really excited to see you, you really should’ve taken a shower this morning.” Junyoung teased him, making the other guys chuckle as they all seemingly waited to watch the reunion. “I saw Jungkookie using perfume before the ceremony, he’ll be fine.” Hyunwoo added, patting his shoulder. “Your teasing is definitely something I won’t miss.” Jungkook winked at them before shifting his focus back to her. He had become good friends with some of the guys in his unit after spending day and night with them - maybe it reminded him of the old days with the other members but it comforted him and made his military service not as bad as he had imagined it before enlisting. His heart was hammering against his ribcage when he picked her up right before she could crash into his chest. His arms securely wrapped around her thighs, he slowly spun around in circles with her. She gently cupped his face, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, only deepening it for a few seconds. Carefully he set her down, her fingers digging into the rough material of his uniform jacket. “Hey.” She smiled shyly, looking up at him. “Hey.” Jungkook gently brushed his fingertips over her cheek, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “I missed you.” “We missed you too…” “We?” He asked; confusion painted all over his face. He had been told that his members would stay at home and they wouldn’t get together until after his little meeting with the press and fans outside the company building. “Yes, we…”  Taking his hand, he could feel hers shaking when she placed it on her stomach. “We missed you a lot.” Jungkook froze; unsure of whether his ears were playing tricks on him or not. His heart was racing again, but this time it was different - a fuzzy feeling rushed through his body as he slowly started to move his hand over her stomach, feeling the small bump that was well hidden underneath the oversized sweater. “Are you serious?” He swallowed hard, trying to stop his eyes from watering. “I am, I went to the doctor a few weeks ago…” She trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty for not having told him sooner. “I’m sorry, I should’ve… I wanted to tell you in person.” “No, no..it’s okay!” He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that he was going to be a father just yet. “I-I’m happy you told me like this, it was perfect.” He smiled, cupping her face to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Noona, I love you.” Ever so delicately he kissed her before he sunk to his knees to press his lips to her stomach, an overwhelming feeling of happiness spreading in his chest.

* “Kookie, she woke up again.” Y/n sighed, hearing the faint little cries coming from their bedroom as she put away the last few dishes. “I’ll go check on her.” He put his laptop down on the couch to get up. “No, it’s okay. You’ve had a long day, I’ll do it.” Quickly he crossed the room to stand in front of her. “No, you go sit down and rest. Dasom was asleep when I got home, so this is my chance to spend some time with her.” “Okay fine, but don’t start playing with her again or she will be up for hours.” “I won’t, I promise.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek and quietly made his way to their bedroom, only turning on the small light on the bedside table. “Hey, little one.” Gently he picked her up, sitting down with her on y/n’s side of the bed, drying her cheeks with his sleeve. “What’s wrong?” He could tell from the way she was crying that she wasn’t hungry, y/n had fed her before putting her down and it was too early for her dream feed. “You don’t need to be changed either.” He concluded after checking her diaper. “Wanna tell appa what’s bothering you?” Dasom made a few unidentifiable noises in between yawns, looking at her father with those big brown doe eyes that she could’ve only gotten from him. “Hmm….yeah…” Jungkook nodded his head. “I understand, I missed you too while I was at work…” He trailed off, reminding himself what he had promised y/n but he was so tempted to tickle her, simply to hear her laugh - he really needed to hear it sometimes, especially after a long tiring day of filming. “I promised mommy I wouldn’t keep you up so, how about I tell you a bedtime story instead?” He cradled her in his arm, making sure she was comfortable. “Where did we leave off last night before you fell asleep? Right, you know there was a time when the princess really didn’t want to be with the prince because of what the people in the town were saying; they were really mean to both of them and the princess wanted to protect the prince so she left him heartbroken and to fend for himself. But the prince loved the princess so much that he did everything in his power to show her his love - it took him months of slaying dragons and all the monsters in the far-away land but eventually, she realized that the universe had always wanted them to be together, they weren’t doomed to be star-crossed lovers…” Dasom’s little snores interrupted his recollection of his relationship with her mother, lovingly his index finger followed the perfect slope of her little nose. Without waking her, he put her back in her crib, making sure she was surrounded by all her favorite plushies, all gifts from her uncles; before he gently kissing her forehead. “I love you and mommy so much, I hope you know that, baby girl.” He whispered, slightly pulling on the string of the little moon above her bed that played the melody of Euphoria. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

Has anybody ever stole your happy? More like life stuff and health issues did. And depression is a real bitch.

What does your Facebook/Myspace status say? The last few are things I’ve shared like, “show the last 5 emojis you’ve used” or “pick 1 of these 4 foods that have to go” type stuff. 

Have you ever played games with someones head? I don’t think so. I’ve had people play games with mine.

Have you changed throughout the years? Yes. A lot changed these past 6 years and not in a good way. And also a lot hasn’t changed that really needs to.

Are you doing anything important tomorrow? No.

What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing leggings and a long-sleeve shirt.

What do you currently hear right now? I’m watching Teen Mom OG. Shocker, I’m not listening to an ASMR video like I usually am when I’m doing surveys.

Do you get creeped out from people who have lazy eyes? No? 

Do you need to forget about someone right now? No.

Do you answer blocked calls on your phone? I don’t answer calls from unknown numbers.

What color is your cellphone? Gold.

How much money do you have on you right now? I don’t have any on me.

What type of survey do you refuse to take? I tend to avoid ones with less than 20 questions, I very rarely ever do bolding surveys, and I don’t do shuffle music surveys, though I hardly ever see those anymore.

Are you a good speller? I think so.

What is your favorite song of the moment? I don’t have a particular current favorite. I haven’t been listening to music, lately. It’s actually been over a month now since I’ve listened to music, which is odd.

When was the last time you ate ice cream? It’s been a few years.

What are you eatting right now? I’m not eating anything right now, but I need to soon.

What do you currently smell? I don’t smell anything at the moment.

Have you ever snuck out of the house? Nope. 

Do you like to run? No.

Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Absolutely not. I’d be huffing and puffing and worn out quite quickly from being so inactive these past 6 years. Let’s be real, I wouldn’t even attempt it at all. I don’t have the energy for that.

Where do you plan on going this summer? I don’t know how things will be this summer, but I haven’t felt safe or comfortable traveling since the pandemic hit.

I won't take a survey if it isnt more than _____ questions. It’s gotta be at least 20 questions. 

One thing that can make you smile no matter what. My doggo.

What is something special about your town? My town sucks, ha.

How many surveys a day do you take? Usually, like 5 or so at least. Some days more, some days less.

Do you think people should make more surveys? I hope people keep making them and I’ll keep taking them.

What were you doing before this survey? Another survey while watching Ghosted.

When was the last time you logged onto Facebook/Myspace? I stay logged in, but I last checked my Facebook like 20 minutes ago.

What are you craving right now? Wingstop.

I am gonna get something to drink, do you need anything? I have my coffee, but thanks.

What was the longest movie you watched? A little over 3 hours.

Do you really think the world will end in 2012? Welp, we’re still here in 2021.

When cheese gets his picture taken what does he say? HAHA That was cheeeeesy.

Have you ever been to a job interview? No.

Do you wear a lot of makeup? I haven’t worn any makeup in a little over 3 years now.

Do you love soft pretzels? Yeah. It’s been years since I’ve had one, though.

Do you use IM anymore? Just Facebook Messenger now and then.

Who was the last person to call you? My mom.

Tell me about the last movie you watched. It was that Disney movie, Soul. 

Have you ever played 21 questions? Yeah.

When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Like 6 years ago. 

Is your dog mixed or full? She’s a German Shepherd and Lab mix.

Do you like kool-aid? If so, what's your favorite flavor? I loved it as a kid. I haven’t had it since then.

When was the last time you sent a letter through the mail? Several years ago.

Do you know anybody in prison right now? Yes.

What was the last thing you and your mother did together? We caught up on some of the shows we watch together.

Are you attending any parties this weekend? No.

What are your plans for the weekend anyway? Same stuff I do everyday.

Do you take good pictures? Ew, no.

Am I your friend on Bzoink? I don’t have a Bzoink account.

Do you add people for their surveys or for friendship? This is my survey blog so I follow other survey blogs.

What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? Same one I have on here.

What is going on outside right now? I don’t know.

Do you miss anybody right now? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

Who was the last person you kissed? Joseph, like 8 years ago.

Will you have sex tonight? No.

What color looks the best on you? I don’t feel I look good in anything, but I feel most comfortable in black.

Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? No.

What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? Takeout out the other day.

Do you have any mag subscriptions? No.

Do you know anybody who is going to the marines this year or next? No.

Have you watched Dear John? I’ve seen parts of it.

I can't leave my house without _____ My phone, wallet, mask, and hand sanitizer.

What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? I feel like I’m scared of a lot of things so I don’t know.

Would you ever have a threesome? No.

How far have you gone? I’m a virgin.

Are you an U.S citizen? I am.

How old will you be in 2012? I turned 23 in 2012.

Do you think you'll be married someday? I don’t see that happening.

Do you have any candles lit right now? No, I don’t have any candles. I’m not a candle person.

When was the last time your parents ordered pizza? We had pizza last week.

Do you loooove chicken alfredo as much as I do? I don’t care for it, personally.

What color computer do you wish you had? I like mine.

How many inches is your screen? It’s 13 inches.

Do you have any step siblings? No.

If so, how many? -

Do they annoy you? -

What color camera do you have? I just use my phone, which is a gold iPhone 12 Pro Max.

How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? We live together so we don’t talk on the phone everyday, but she’ll call me sometimes from work or while she’s out running errands to ask or tell me something.

Who is somebody you haven't seen in a long time? A lot of my extended family. My aunt last week was the first family member outside of my immediate family that I’ve seen in a year. What are your school colors? I’m done with school.

What did you wear yesterday? My usual attire of leggings and a graphic tee.

What color straightner do you have? I don’t have a straightener anymore. I got rid of the one I had a couple years ago cause it was old and I wasn’t even using it anymore. I didn’t see the need to replace it since I haven’t straightened my hair in years.

How many times a day do you brush your grill? At least once.

Who was the last person to IM you? I think it was my aunt on Facebook Messenger.

Is your closet organized? It is. My aunt helped me do that last week. She helped me clean up and reorganize my room. I really can’t even say helped cause she did literally everything. 

Do you need to clean anything in your house right now? Nope.

What should you be doing? I don’t have anything I should be doing, I’m doing what I want to do. 

What would you rather be doing? I’m perfectly content with this. I just finished eating dinner and I’m feeling full and sleepy.

Do you listen to music really loud or really low? I listen to it at a reasonable level. I wanna hear it obviously, but I don’t need it blasting.

Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? My doggo as well.

Who was your last crush? Ty.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What is the weather like down around where you live? It’s currently 54F.

What is your favorite thing to do? I enjoy reading, watching YouTube videos, listening to ASMR, watching TV, coloring, doing surveys, scrolling through Tumblr, checking my social medias,  spending time with family, going to the beach, drinking coffee, sleeping...

How many pets do you own? I have one doggo. 

Are you close with your parents? I am. My mom, especially. She’s my best friend.

What is your favorite song? I have a lot of favorites.

Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Have you ever read a whole series of books? Yeah, I’ve read many series.

When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Absolutely. I don’t say those words loosely or a lot, but if I say it, I mean it.

Do you have a guy best friend? No.

Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I participated in all of my graduations.

Do you think the Tiger Wood's cheating thing is annoying? That’s super old news.

What is your favorite food? Wingstop’s garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, ramen, spaghetti and meatballs, breakfast burritos or sandwiches, and biscuits and scrambled eggs smothered in country gravy with hash browns.

Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Probably my scrambled eggs and ranch combo.

How many tattoos do you have? Zero.

What did you do for your last birthday? Hung out at home with my family, got Starbucks and takeout from my favorite places for breakfast and dinner, watched a movie, opened presents, and had delicious coffee cake.

What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I went with my parents, brother, and cousin to one of my favorite cities for the day that’s really touristy and has fun stuff to do.

Are you excited for anything coming up? No.

Do you still have the same friends as you did when you were younger? I don’t have any friends anymore.

Is there a friend you never get to see anymore? --

Do you have to type with good grammer? Yeah, using proper grammar is important to me.

Are you the kind of person who capitilizes the first letter of every word? Nooo. I don’t like that. Or when people type in all lowercase or a mix of the two. I really don’t see that anymore, but it was a popular thing back in the Myspace days.

What is your favorite quote? There’s many.

Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? I’m 31 years old so I certainly could, but I choose not to. *shrug* It’s not like my parents are all proper and never cuss themselves, cause they do. My mom loves her f-bombs haha. It’s just how I am. 

How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes.

Who was you talking to? I was talking to my mom.

Which one of your friends annoy you? --

Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No.

Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes, several people.

How old are you? 31.

Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? I do now. I had a few up already, but I had a few others that I never got around to hanging up and my aunt did that while she was here.

Do you have facebook? I do.

Do you update your status with a step by step guide of what your doing? Uh, no. No one would care to see that and I have no need to share that.

Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? Yes. :(

Do you go bowling in your town? I have a few times before back in the day. The last time I went bowling was over a decade ago.

Do you have a drive in theater. No, I wish. I really think those should make a big comeback now.

What are you wearing? Leggings and a long sleeve shirt.

What brand is your favorite shoe? Adidas.

Is your best friend's mom like your own? My best friend is my mom so yes? haha.

Do you have aniexty or depression? I have both, yay. -____-

How old do you think you will be when you get married? I don’t plan on ever getting married.

What is your favorite fast food resturant? Wingstop.

What do you usually order? Boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with ranch and an extra side of lemon pepper sauce.

Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? No.

Don't you think the diamond ones are b-a? Huh?

Do you know what b-a means? No.

Have you and your friends ever made up a word? My cousins and I probably have when we were kids.

Don't you hate stomachaches? Ugh, yes. Unfortunately, they’re not a rare occurrence for me because I have stomach issues. :/ Heating pads are a must.

Have you ever gotten a stomache at the wrong time? yeah it always feels like the wrong time. like it's always at night when i'm trying to sleep. the worst. <<< Same. 

What is your favorite memory in life? Childhood.

Do you have any embarassing baby pictures of yourself? I don’t think any of my baby photos are embarrassing. I actually love those photos haha. Then I got older and ew.

What is the worst smell in the world? Shit? ha.

What is your favorite smell? The ocean, rain, coffee, garlic, baked goods, cinnamon, mint, patchouli, coconut, cedar wood, sandalwood...

Do you dye your hair a lot? Yeah. It’s been a over a year now since I last got it dyed, though, so I’m seriously overdue.

How do you style your hair most of the days? It’s always up in a messy bun. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything else with it. I’m just at home all day anyway.

Do you have any fox racing clothing? No. I remember that was a popular thing in high school.

Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Yes.

Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Nooo.

Tell me how you got one of your scars? Spinal surgery.

Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? Yes.

What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? The only thing I like about the summer is being able to go to the beach. Otherwise, I hate summertime.

Do you go tanning or do you lay out? I only ever get a tan when I go to the beach cause I’m out there for hours.

Do you have a beach towel or do you use a reg one? We have beach towels.

If you tan, what kind of lotion do you have? I don’t use any tanning lotion.

What is your favorite skin lotion? I don’t really have one. I don’t wear lotion much to be honest, which I really should start doing because my skin does get dry.

Have you ever used 3 minute miracle by aussie? Nope.

Do you use a lot of hair products? No, just shampoo, a detangling spray, and dry shampoo.

Why did you pick my survey? It was long and looked interesting.

Are you glad it's long? Yeah.

Or did I bore you? Nah, it’s fine.

What is your longest relationship? Whatever it was Joseph and I had went on for 3 years.

How long have you known your best friend? Since I was in the womb, ha.

Who is your favorite aunt? I’m really close to the aunt that came and stayed with us last week.

Do you have a cousin you dislike? No.

Do you own a pair of chanel earrings? Nope.

What is your favorite band? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Have you ever heard theroy of a deadman? I think so.

What is your comfort food? Ramen.

What is your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.

What color is the color of your walls? White.

Do you own anything zebra striped? No.

What kind of straighner do you have? I don’t have one, we’ve been through this already.

Are you obsessed with your hair? No. I don’t do anything with it. I’m not good at maintaining the red I’ve been dyeing it for the past 6 years either. I was in the beginning when I got it done once a month, but then it started getting more and more months in between and then it turned into a year. I’m currently a little over a year overdue. Sighhh. I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do that or much of anything else. I barely get outta bed most days.

[circle-speak]

rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping!

So... it may seem fairly obvs, but idk how to tumbls...

Just found out--THROUGH SCROLLING!THANKSTUMBLR--that I was tagged here. Not much of a tech-literate person, but I shall endeavor to try an attempt with the only music I have. And have fun with it~ (Thanks be to @elirwen​! who tagged me ♥ X)

Always You - Louis Tomlinson (just recently started listening to his music, so it came up 1st, pienso...?)

Bad Guy - Billie Eilish (not my fav of hers, but: so catchy~)

If We Have Each Other - Alec Benjamin ( T A T ... I feel I must explain: I am in constant battle, waging war with/against my friend, to find lovely, well-crafted songs and share them with each other ... in order to make each other cry. This is one such song; already on my ‘guaranteed to make me cry. Every. Single. TIME.’ playlist.)

IDGAf - Dua Lipa (... I promise I’m not actually this angsty? I like angst in fic, but my love life is non-conducive to these situations; read: nonexistent. it has never happened and that this theme--thus far--was chosen for me, is worrying me. GREATLY. *whispers* is this what you think of me, music program?)

Waves - Dean Lewis (This came from World of Dance 2018! I saw the remarkable Charity and Andres dance to this song and liked it so much, I added it to several playlists.)

Water Under the Bridge - Adele (Ok. I sing this one the most. But: STILL. INAPPLICABLE.)

Fearless - Louis Tomlinson (1st time hearing this. Very Nice~<3; shorter than I expected.)

No Shame - 5 Seconds of Summer (also 1st time. um. huh. nice.)

Let Me Go - Hailee Steinfeld feat. Alesso, Florida Georgia Line, & watt (3rd 1st. Definitely relate to the insecurities, but... no.)

Closer - The Chainsmokers (Aaaaaaaaand we’re ending here. On this song. *throws hands in air* Ok.)

Dunno what this tells you... (hisses: LIES!) I guess I just like listening to angsty songs. ‘Cause of the evocative emotions. yea.

In other news: I halfway feel like I cheated? Since I used a program to pick songs I don’t already have and not truly shuffling? Idek... :) I tried. ♥

UM! UM! I Shall TAG: @joeys-piano (because I think he’ll find this fun? and I feel safe and secure enough in our interactions to share this. :); @rindatea (hold my hand? :D ); @buds-and-blossoms X) ♥♥; @ehhn (I SEE YOU LURKING. challenge: NO KPOP. :) And: anyone else who wants to? I’m no good at tagging, ya’ll.

[dandelions-sea-blog]

These are the Nights that Never Die Chapter Three

Read on Ao3(so much better there)

Rainy Days are the worst....

Previous || First || Next

“Wow… the storm’s gotten really bad, hasn’t it?” Blue says, looking up at the sky. Despite the fact that it was mostly clear, with only a few fluffy clouds covering up the blue ocean above, the RV has been plagued with moaning winds and harsh rain all morning.

“yeah, it’s really raining dimes and nickels out there…” Red says, head in his hand.

“What does that even mean?” Blue asks, giving his friend an odd look.

“that there’s been a change in the weather.”

“Stop.” Blue slaps his palm into Red’s face. It only seems to encourage him.

“Is Red making unnecessarily complicated puns again?” Papyrus sighs, eyes never leaving the table as he scrubs it clean, removing all remnants of their breakfast. He’s tenser than normal; under his eyes are a woven pattern of black swelling.

“Yes, he is,” Blue pouts. Red places a hand over his soul.

“excuse? my puns are only as complex as they necessarily have to be,” He claims in mock outrage.

Blue rolls his eyes, going back to staring at the clouds. They are honestly very pretty… days like these just don’t seem real; when the sky looks just so perfect like this. Ah, if the weather wasn’t so bad they could all go out and have a picnic with the new food that Sans and Edge bought last night! It would be nice to get out of the RV… it has started to accumulate a bit of smell that Blue can’t quite find where it’s coming from.

A particularly bad gust of wind hits the side of the camper, causing Blue to jump and Red to jerk awake from his half nap. Sans watches them from behind.

“why don’t ya come away from the window?” He says from the couch,  “ain’t good t’ be that close to glass during a storm…” Sans’ books and spreadsheets laid out in front of him. He does all the planning for the trip; deciding where they’ll stop next, how much water they can use, how much food they have. Blue sometimes wonders what he does to be able to afford a vacation like this… it’s rude to ask though.

“Oh okay,” Blue says, pulling Red’s arm over to the couch. Blue takes a seat next to Sans while Red sprawls out on the floor, snoozing quietly. “...Lazy.” Blue mutters, shaking his head. At least the others have an excuse, being out all night getting groceries.

Sans hardly seems to notice when Blue sits down next to him, frantically scribbling on sheets of paper as he sweats in silence. Everyone seems to be stressed out today; Blue imagines it has to do with the storm. Papyrus is oddly quiet, hardly taking up any conversations or banters with his counterpart, and Edge has been particularly snippy as well. It all makes Blue very uncomfortable, but he refuses to bring it up in fear of making everything worse.

Blue plays with his hands for a while, trying to seem uninterested in the incredibly interesting things that Sans is up to. He may not want Blue looking over his shoulder, after all. He seems pretty deep in focus right now… He looks up at the ceiling, attempting to count every tile on the roof… then all of the corners of all the tiles… then all of the dead flies in spiderwebs that they really should clean off sometime …

“So whatcha doin’?” Blue finally breaks, looking over at the papers laid out all over the coffee table. In the center of them all is a blue notebook with a faded skull sticker on it. Sans smiles, glancing at Blue out of the corner of his eye.

“what, you wanna take a look at my cheat sheets?” He says, scooting over just enough that Blue can get a better view of all the papers.

“What are these?” He asks, looking over the complex documents.

Sans points to the first one. “this is water supply; we can carry about 150 gallons of water at a time, and we gotta periodically flush out the waste water.”

“That sounds hard,” Blue says.

“yeah, it’s a real drain. ”

“Mweeeh… no puns while we're learning!!!”

Sans chuckles, shuffling the papers around. “right now i am focused on making sure that we have enough food to make it to our next stop - this storm has really put us behind schedule… we might have to leave today.” Sans says with a frown, tone shifting minutely towards the ‘worried leader’ side.

“Aw, but we just got here,” Blue complains. Sans snorts.

“tell me about it… it’s a pretty big pain in my coccyx,” He says, nose ridge wrinkling up. “we got some stuff last night, but we’re gonna need a lot more before we head out for our next stop again.”

Blue hums in understanding. “So… if you don’t mind me asking… what is our next stop?”

“heh... i’ll tell ya when i figure it out.” Sans’ voice sounds deeper than usual, raw exhaustion interwoven between every syllable.

Blue raises a brow bone, confused. Don’t they have this trip planned out at all? He opens his mouth to ask exactly that when there is a loud noise from the kitchen, taking both of their attention.

“nGAH!! EDGE! PLEASE REMOVE YOUR BLASTED CAT FROM MY KITCHEN BEFORE SHE BREAKS SOMETHING ELSE!!!”

“I DO NOT CONTROL HER MOVEMENTS, PERHAPS YOU SHOULD NOT STACK THOSE PLATES SO PRECARIOUSLY!!”

“welp... i better go step in before someone busts a skull…” Sans says, sliding off the couch. Blue scoots over entirely onto the couch, looking over the notebook that Sans left behind. He hesitates… is it rude to look in here when Sans had already sort of gave him permission? Yes, but Blue isrealllllly curious; he decides one little peak is a forgivable offense.

Blue giggles to himself as he opens the book, feeling like a child going through their parent’s drawers. Inside he finds page after page of calculations; records of how much fuel they’ve used, how much they’ll need, where they’ve been, places they plan to go… some sections are crossed out with little scrawlings giving reasons as to why this plan won’t work, or why going to that state is out of the question… just a bunch of random, ramblings thoughts and plans that Sans has collected.

Blue finds himself quickly bored with his searches, scanning through the pages until he gets closer to today’s date. He stops when the pages run out, going back to the last writings that Sans made.

Water:

   Runs out in 3 days

Black Water:

  Overflowing

Food:

  Runs out in 6 days

Ammo:

  Low but not dangerous. Yet.

Electricity:

  Literally the only fucking resource we have.

Closest Safe-Havens:

   Pleasant town (Too far)

  Gaston (Probably not safe)

  Hagersville (Not enough gas)

  Berton (Too Residential)

Conclusion: We’re fucked.

Blue hums, looking over the notes. Well these seem… rather bleak. No wonder Sans seems so stressed out all the time! He is doing so much planning and worrying that he doesn’t have time to enjoy this trip at all!

Blue closes the notebook, setting it back down where he found it. He claps his hands together. Well! This certainly won’t do! He won’t allow their brilliant leader to be bogged down with so much worry. Blue is going to make sure that he has fun tonight.

Sliding off the couch, Blue taps Red with his foot. The other stirs, looking up sleepily.

“wha…?” He says, rubbing an eye.

“Get up, lazy bones - we have planning to do!” Blue says, skipping back to their room. Red just shrugs, following along.

“whatever ya say, kid,” He mutters.

“now, have th’ two ‘o ya finally got that out of yer systems?” Sans says, exhausted from mediating the two very large yet immature skeletons in front of him.

Edge frowns, holding his precious cat to his chest. “I would be more satisfied if he would apologize to Doomfanger.” He says with a genteel tone.

“I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE TO THAT ANNOYING CAT!” Papyrus folds his arms, “YOU ARE LUCKY THAT SANS MADE ME APOLOGIZE FOR YELLING AT YOU.”

Edge snarls as the two fall right back into bickering. Sans sighs hard, pinching the bridge of his nose. This… is exasperating. Everyone is exhausted from their stressful night, and waking up to a hoard of zombies banging at the side of the bus this morning wasn’t exactly the most relaxing turn of events.

He doesn’t even try to get between the Papyruses this time, just sitting down on the dining booth as he waits them out. The van rocks as a particularly enthusiastic zombie slams its body into the side of the vehicle. Really, this is his fault. He should have known this place would be crawling with crawlers… except it also had so many useful resources - it was worth the risk as long as they didn’t do anything to catch the attention of any predators .

Anything, such as running out into the middle of the woods at night shouting like a crazy person …

Sans laughs at his own unintentional joke, even if it is in bad taste. He glances over to where he left the kiddo, feeling a deep pang of worry when he realizes Blue isn’t on the couch anymore. He looks around and sees that the back-room door is shut - Blue must be in there. He relaxes once more as he listens to his brother and friend snap at each other over just about every petty squabble one could have. Jeez… they haven’t fought like this since Blue came around…

That guy sure does wonders for the psyche, ironically. Sans really thought that things were gonna get better now that he was around; but nope. It was just a lull in their luck, a pleasant kink of fate. And now that they are settling back in things are going right back to shit.

Sans sighs.

“AND ANOTHER THING - DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW LOUD YOU ARE??”

He’s lost track of which one is speaking at this point… Sans puts his head against the table, digging his palms into his temples. The headache this entire conversation is giving him has spread to his patients. He’s done .

“ e n o u g h!”

Sans’ hand comes down on the table.

“alright, you two - listen up!” Sans snaps, head jerking up. If he still could, his eye would be ablaze with magic right now. He stands up off of the bench, ready to lay into the two skeletons until they put this petty squabble to bed for the rest of the day.

Except he is interrupted by a familiar, cheerful voice.

“Guyyyys~” Blue says in a sing song voice, walking into the room with one of the biggest grins they’ve ever seen on his face. In his hands he clutches a baby-blue bag - the only item they had found on his person when they discovered him locked away in the basement of his apartment complex. “I have a surprise for you~~”

Papyrus’ arms unfold and his face softens some. Of the three of them he has been the most receptive to Blue’s particular brand of positivity. It seems that no matter how bad his mood gets Blue is able to come in and cheer him right up. Edge is much less so, but even he relaxes a bit, attention turning from the skeleton beside him to the one across the room.

Sans smiles, well, this at least makes his job easier.

“heh, whatcha got there, kiddo?” Sans asks, hands shoved into his pockets. Blue’s smile grows impossibly wider. If he had skin it would probably tear with just how much force he is putting into showing his happiness.

“Close your eyes~” Blue commands.

“Now may not be the best ti-” Edge starts, abruptly cut off by Sans elbowing him in the shin. Papyrus already has his eyes shut, and Sans waits only long enough to ensure Edge’s cooperation.

“No peeking~” Blue says, voice laced with excitement. Sans can’t help the small grin that plasters itself over his face. The kiddo is just so contagious. There is a soft shuffling of fabric from in front of them, and something is unzipped as Blue places the contents of the bag down on the table in front of them.

“Ta-da!!” Blue shouts. Sans winces at the sheer volume of the noise. “You can open your eyes now!!”

Sans opens a socket to take a look at what Blue has decided to get so worked up over. Part of him is honestly expecting nothing - that he’s created some new delusion in his mind to instantly remedy the situation. But once again, the kiddo manages to surprise him.

“heh... where’d ya get that ?” Sans asks, hands in his pocket as he steps forward to observe the grey, book-shaped box that has been set up on the dining table. Even at first glance there is no mistaking what this is; a portable DVD player. Sans hasn’t owned one of those since they were in the Underground, and even then it was way back when he was a babybones. He opens the lid with a finger, looking at the screen inside. It isn’t much bigger than his hand-and-wrist, but it looks to be in perfectly good condition. He wonders if it still works…

“It’s mine,” Blue says proudly. “I carry it with me on the way to work. The buses run so slow, so I like to watch a movie on the way.” Sans snorts; that’s genius. Papyrus has bent over to look at the device, examining it with mild intrigue.

“Well that is very nice,” Edge says shortly. “But what I would like to know is why you chose now to bring on this impromptu show-and-tell.” He snarks. Sans rolls his eyes - jeez, what a wet blanket.

“Well, Red and I decided that it is time for us to have a movie night!” Blue says. The three skeletons stand up straight, looking between each other. Movie night?? Now? Blue smiles, crossing his arms. “I know that everyone is a bit stressed out because of the storm, so since there isn’t any way we can change the weather, we might as well take this time to relax and have some fun!”

Sans blinks, tapping his chin. That… isn’t a half bad idea actually. It’s not like sitting around and worrying about if-or-when the zombies will crawl back into their hiding spots is doing anyone any good. They have the extra electricity from charging in the sun all day; and if the three of them continue to stay this high strung it isn’t the hoard outside the party will have to worry about killing them all…

Edge looks less convinced, scowling at the device. “That has got to be the single dumbest idea I’ve ever-”

“heh i’m in.” Sans says with a shrug.

Both Papyrus and Edge look to him curiously

“Sans, are you feeling alright?” Papyrus asks, sounding worried. His hand comes down on Sans’ forehead. “You aren’t developing a fever, are you??”

“nah bro,” He chuckles, shaking his brother’s hand off of him. “i think it’s a good idea; our batteries are full and they’re just gonna keep chargin’ t’day since we won’t be doin’ much. i say we should just relax and take the day off.”

Papyrus doesn’t seem entirely convinced Sans is entirely sane, though apparently the idea of a movie night speaks to him as well, and he lets up. “Well, it does sound fun…” He says, a smile slowly writing it’s way onto his face.”

Edge is less convinced, looking between the two as if they had just suggested they jump out and try to make friends with the hoard surround them.

“HAVE YOU TWO LOST YOUR MIND!?” He snaps. “WE CAN’T JUST- WE CAN’T- WE HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO DO!? SITTING AROUND JUST… DOING NOTHING????”

“it’s not doing nothing,” Sans corrects. “it’s a mental health day, for our health.” He closes the dvd player, flipping it over to check just how many watts it uses for his notebook. “if we stay cooped up in here worrying any longer we’re gonna end up killing each other or ourselves; the kiddo’s got the right idea.”

Blue squeals in pure delight. Hands curling little balls at his chest. “THIS IS SO AWESOME!! MWEHEHE… WE’RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!” He reaches into his bag, practically dumping out about half a dozen DVDs.  “I don’t have too many with me - if I had known we’d be gone this long I would have packed a few more…” He says, already going through and picking out favorites.

Sans chuckles, strolling across the room to one of the shelves.

“oh, i wouldn’t be too worried about running out of choices,” He says with a wink, opening up the doors of the storage space to reveal his and Papyrus’ collection. Practically every movie they’ve ever seen is in here, and several that they haven’t, all organized by genre and director. He turns around, delighted to see Blue’s awestruck face as he pursues the titles.

“now, what kinda movies you guys like t’ watch?”

In the end, they settled on five movies; A comedy for sans, an action thriller for Edge, a superhero film for Papyrus, a mystery for Blue, and a cartoon for Red. They drew straws to decide who goes first, all agreeing that Sans should get first pick of times since he’s done so much for them all. Blue and Red end up in the kitchen making popcorn while the other three set up the living room, finishing their chores down with twice the gusto.

An air of excitement seems to have come over the entire camper. It seems that for the first time since Blue arrived everyone is in anticipation for something; even Edge, despite his constant grumbles about how stupid this all is, seems to be just a little lighter in his steps as he goes through his routine.

By the time midday rolls around everyone is sitting in the living room, waiting. The spare duvet from the master bedroom has been pulled and laid out in the middle of the room, Papyrus and Edge sprawled out as Sans selects his dvd. Blue has finally finished popping the popcorn he found under the sink, pouring out the warm treat into bowls. He keeps the kettle ready for another batch, certain that there will be more need to be made by the time the day is through.

Blue hops up onto the couch with Sans and Red, offering up the bowls to everyone who wants one; which is everyone. Even Edge takes some popcorn, eating it slowly and savoring every bite. Papyrus is much less conservative with his, taking entire fistfuls at a time and dropping bits onto the mat which are promptly scooped up and fed to Doomfanger. Blue doesn’t actually see Sans eat any of his popcorn, but every so often when Blue looks over a little more has disappeared.

The movie is more to Sans and Red’s taste than anyone else's, but it gets a chuckle out of Blue. Sans, on the other hand, just about busts a rib with every line. Red lets out a constant stream of chuckles, drowning out the dialogue half the time. Blue acts as the runner, going between the living room and the kitchen to retrieve drinks and refresh popcorn. By the time the credits roll on the first movie everyone seems relaxed. Blue comes back from getting another round of snacks to find Papyrus leaned back into the couch with Sans draped over the armrest so the two are almost completely side by side. Red has his feet propped up by Sans’ head, looking halfway to sleep - a sign of relaxation for him. Even Edge looks less… well, on edge. He sits with his spine straight, Doomfanger in his lap. His facebones are no longer scrunched up, his shoulders hung relaxed at his side. Blue smiles at him, feeling his soul warm.

Edge glances over at Blue, face suddenly dusting with a light blush as he looks away, hands clenched.  “I still say this is a waste of time and electricity.” He snips, arms coming up to cross over his chest. Blue rolls his eyes.

“Would you like the orange juice, or apple?” Blue asks, holding out the cups in his hands. Edge refuses to look at him as he snatches the apple juice from him. Doomfanger rubs her head into his shirt and he lets a hand down to pet her coat.

“i think boss ha’ next selection, right?” Red says from the couch. Blue nods.

“Yeah, he does!” He says, turning back to the gruff skeleton. “Which one was yours again?”

“Midnight Blaze Racer Four,” He mutters, squirming in his seat.

“Aw, but we haven’t seen the first three??” Papyrus says, sounding just a tad disappointed. “How will we be able to follow the plot?”

“heh... yeah… ‘plot’...” Sans says from his spot on the couch, physically drawing the air quotes with his fingers. Edge turns, throwing a bit of popcorn back at Sans, bouncing off his head with a satisfying thunk . Sans chuckles.

“You will be able to pick up on main story,” Edge assures Papyrus. “Besides, this is the fourth installment, but it actually takes place before the first movie but just a bit after the third-and-a-half, which was a prequel telling the story how Blaze’s mother ended up going from a rich girl from southern california to wanted intergalactic crime fighter.” He is already loading up the DVD and skipping through the commercials for ‘soon-to-be-released’ movies that came out almost a decade ago. “But you don’t need to know any of that because when this movie came out the plot for the next hadn’t even been written yet. This is just the best movie in the franchize, so we are skipping all the garbage that came out with the extension and sticking to the original cannon.”

“...Well now I’m even more confused than when we started!!”

“shhh, just watch the movie bro.”

Blue ends up spending this move squished between Sans and Red, the two of them falling in and out of naps as the spectacle on the tiny screen plays out before them. Honestly, Blue has no idea what is going on, and he has a sneaking feeling that even if he’d seen all the previous movies he would still be lost. This time the movies takes about twice as long as it’s runtime due to Edge pausing it at random intervals to explain some plotpoint from another movie in the franchise, then again seconds later to answer follow up questions posed by a very befuddled Papyrus.

By the time that movie ends the group is very much ready for Papyrus’ much simpler, logical movie about an orphan bit by a genetically engineered snake, gaining the power of super speed and strength and chooses to fight the forces of evil. It doesn’t have to make sense in the real world - it just has to flow logically on its own. Which it does, somewhat. At times…

Papyrus is on the edge of his seat the entire time, and even Blue gets excited, cheering along Snake Lad as he takes on Sir Mongoose and saves Lady Lana, warrior super spy princess, from his evil clutches. Sans seems to get his enjoyment from the flick by pointing out every time the movie tries to do science and exactly why it is wrong, while Red just makes lousy puns on just about everyone and everything there. Edge pretends to ignore it, claiming the effects are too cheesy for him to get involved - but every once in awhile Blue thinks he sees genuine enjoyment on Edge’s face.

Finally it is Blue’s turn! Sans only had a single mystery movie that Blue hasn’t gotten to see yet; it’s an old one in black-and-white. It has a very unique pacing and tone to it, something that Blue can appreciate. Sans and Blue keep a long discussion going on about film techniques and cinematography. Papyrus and Edge seem bored, while Red straight up falls asleep during the first act, though the action scenes at least get some response out of the others.

During the final confrontation where the murderer is revealed Blue notices something. He steps forward, pressing pause on the player and he listens.

“Do you guys hear that?” He asks, quickly getting the attention of the other occupants of the room. They all sit up, listening closely for any sign of disturbance, sharing a look of mild fear.

“Hear what, Blue-Sans?” Papyrus asks with a frown. “I don’t hear anything…”

Sans’ eyes widen as he practically throws himself off the couch, bare bones clacking against the floor as he prances over to the window. He stands on his toes to look out. “...they’re gone……” he mutters, almost too quiet for anyone to hear. Edge and Papyrus share a look of disbelief as Blue smiles.

“See? The storm is over now, and you guys didn’t even notice!” Blue chirps. The others look between each other, seeming blown away by the fact that they could have forgotten about their current situation. Blue rolls his eyes, ejecting the DVD before going to the cabinet to select a new one.

“what’s up kiddo - movie borin’ ya?” Sans asks, going back to lay out on the couch.

“It’s getting late, and I wanna see Red’s movie before we go to bed!” Blue announces, pulling out the DVD Red had anted in. The skeleton chuckles from the couch.

“aw, yer sweet, kid,” Red says, setting his head on his hands.

Edge stands as the movie loads up, taking the empty bowls of popcorn back into the kitchen. Blue frowns, watching his friend leave the room with a deep heaviness in his soul. “...Are you not going to watch the movie with us?” Blue asks, downtrodden.

“No,” Edge replies, scrubbing the bowls harshly with a dry sponge. He growls softly as Blue watches, scrubbing with extra gusto. Blue would like to think that it is just because he is trying to get off the extra butter… but... Blue glances back at Red, looking apologetic. The bags under Red’s eyes seem deeper than normal as he waves a hand.

“don’ sweat it, kid,” He says, a hint of something deeply troubling in his voice. “boss is… complicated…” He leans back into the couch, arms folded over his chest. “let’s just watch the flick…“

Blue isn’t entirely satisfied with that resolution; nevertheless he slots the dvd into the player and presses play, sinking back into relaxation as the cheerful sound of violin music fills the room. Almost as soon as the actual movie starts Edge seems to be satisfied with the dishes, immediately climbing the ladder to his bunk and flinging shut the curtain with a loud grumble. Sans and Papyrus relax some, politely asking that they unfold their bed so that they too can lay down. By now it’s pretty late, after all; they spent the entire day watching movies.

Blue starts to feel sleepy as well, rubbing his eye as the movie splashes bright colors against the dark walls. He moves closer to the DVD player on the table, setting him and Red up at the foot of the brother’s bed. He curls up in the comforter with Red, rubbing his eyes.

“heh, kiddo… ya should probably get t’ sleep yerself,” Sans says from utop the bed, propped up on a pillow. “ya look bone tired.” He chuckles. Papyrus grumbles in his sleep, mumbling something that sounds suspiciously like ‘overused joke’.

“I wanna stay up with Red, though,” Blue says, flighting back a yawn. His head bobs without him meaning too, floating town to rest on his hands. “Everyone else got to watch their movie with friends…”

“heh, i think red’s already asleep kiddo…” Sans says from utop the bed. Blue blinks, looking back to his friend lying next to him. Sure enough, soft snores come from the snoozing skeleton. Blue chuckles, curling up in the blankets.

“What a lazy bones...” He mutters sleepily, petting Red’s skull. A soft purr builds in the other’s throat as he nuzzles into the touch. Blue is tempted to just sleep here on the ground; but that would just be too lazy for his tastes. Slowly he rises to his feet, nudging Red awake as he bundles up their covers. He turns off the DVD player and ejects the disk, making sure that all of the DVDs make it back to the correct case and spot in the cabinet before heading off towards his bedroom.

“Goodnight Sans!” Blue says, following the sleepy Red into the bedroom. “Goodnight, Papyrus…”

“Goodnight!”

“g’night, kiddo…” Just before Blue can shut the door Sans continues. “hey, uh… blue?”

Blue pauses, looking back out into the room. It is dark, the only light coming from the everpresent glow of the outside lamps. Sans’ silhouette would look ominous in any other context, but to Blue it is relieving. Sans’ posture is relaxed, slouched against the back of the couch-bed. Blue can practically hear the other’s calm soul-beat from here.

“i wanned t’ thank ya,” Sans says, contentedness filling the air. “fer t’night…“

Blue feels his cheeks warm, his soul aching in a way he can’t quite place. The smile on his face can’t be seen in the dim light of the RV, but Blue has a sneaking suspicion that Sans knows it’s there.

“Mweh… no problem, Friend! I’m glad everyone had fun...” Blue says quietly, slipping into the room. “Goodnight.”

[yahargulian]

I was tagged to do this by the amazing @ravenwald, thank you so much my friend!! ❤ And oh my god feel free to come and complain about the controls of the Arkham games with me, I’m playing Arkham City currently and holy shit I feel your struggle there.

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people!

I’m not tagging anyone specifically, so if you’re reading this and want to give this a go then go for it, and say I tagged you!

LAST…

[1] drink: I’ve got a glass of blood orange flavoured Tango sat next to me and I’m drinking it through a really curly plastic green straw. Mostly because my teeth have hardly any enamel apparently, but also largely because I just think this one straw is really cool lmao

[2] phone call: My mum, I called her by accident and then she called back asking what was wrong bless her

[3] text message: My lil brother

[4] song you listened to: I’m listening to The One Reborn from the Bloodborne soundtrack ‘cause I really wanna play that game ohmygod

[5] time you cried: A few days ago I think? My perception is time is so screwed right now but I think that’s right

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Nope

[7] been cheated on: Pretty sure I haven’t

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: No

[9] lost someone special: Yeah

[10] been depressed: Oh heck yeah

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: No

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

[12] Dark green

[13] Not sure what to call it but very purple-y red

[14] Indigo

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes

[16] fallen out of love: Nope

[17] laughed until you cried: Quite a few times yeah

[18] found out someone was talking about you: No ?

[19] met someone who changed you: Yep

[20] found out who your true friends are: Possibly? Idk this question’s always been weird to me

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: No

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I know all of them in one way or another

[23] do you have any pets: A rabbit, his name is Oscar

[24] do you want to change your name: A little bit? My parents nearly called me Seren and I really like that name, so if I ever did I’d probably change it to that

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I just had a bunch of friends over. Some of them slept round and I think that was the time where like five of us fell asleep on the same bed, literally all piled on top of each other

[26] what time did you wake up: 12:30

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: I was either sat in bed reading fanfiction or I was sat in bed watching Game Grumps

[28] name something you cannot wait for: GOTHAM like holy shit its only 11 DAYS?? I’m shook, I’m screaming, I’m dying as we speak

[31] what are you listening to right now: Aloy’s Theme from the Horizon: Zero Dawn soundtrack, but I’m likely to go back to Bloodborne again in a minute lmao

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, I think he used to live down the road from me

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: My productivity levels, I’ve listerally done nothing today I woke up and immediately got distracted by remembering Bloodborne exists and that’s been it

[34] most visited website: Youtube and Tumblr

[35] elementary: We used to call it Hellzeldown

[36] high school: It has the name of where I live in it so I can’t lmao

[37] college: Same as the high school problem

[38] hair color: Brown

[39] long or short hair: It was like fairly long but I got it cut literally yesterday and now it’s waaaay shorter

[40] do you have a crush on someone: Not as far as I know lmao

[41] what do you like about yourself: My eyes are pretty cool!

[42] piercings: None but I’m debating getting one at some point

[43] blood type: A+ ? I think??

[44] nickname: Brit’s the most common one

[45] relationship status: Single

[46] zodiac sign: Leo/virgo

[47] pronouns: They/them

[48] fav TV show: Gotham, Preacher, Shadowhunters. Gotham stands as my Absolute Favourite tho

[49] tattoos: None but I’m debating that too

[50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: I’ve never had one

[52] piercing: None lmao

[53] best friend: I met her in either nursary or foundation year in primary school but we fell out midway through primary school and then she moved country and I never heard from her again

[54] sport: I never really did any sports team things

[55] vacation: Wales, and now we go there pretty much once every year

[56] pair of trainers: I barely managed to remember what I did for my last birthday earlier, there’s no way I’m gonna remember my first pair of trainers lmao

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Tiramisu

[58] drinking: I finished the blood orange Tango and just grabbed some Coca Cola

[59] I’m about to: Attempt to draw something and maybe legit just go buy Bloodborne jfc

[60] listening to: Broken Bones by Kaleo just came up on my Spotify shuffle 

[61] waiting for: My motivation to do anything to come back lmao

[62] want: To be warmer than I am, it’s a lil bit chilly in here

[63] get married: I mean I’m not entirely sure I wanna get married at all so I definitely don’t want to rn

[64] career: I applied for a job and I’m waiting for them to phone me hhhhhh

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: Hugs, always

[66] lips or eyes: Eyes but oh gosh lips too tbh

[67] shorter or taller: Both are good, I like both equally

[68] older or younger: I’d need like context to decide between these two

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach? Arms are also great tho

[71] sensitive or loud: I’m kinda both but I’d rather be sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: Relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, I’d just rather avoid all possibilities of conflict

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger: No

[75] drank hard liquor: I’m not actually... sure what counts as hard liquor so I have no idea

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses: I’ve lost sunglasses, but no

[77] turned someone down: Yep

[78] sex on first date: Nope

[79] broken someone’s heart: Ahh yeah

[80] had your own heart broken: I think so?

[81] been arrested: No

[82] cried when someone died: Yeah

[83] fallen for a friend: Yup

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself: Occasionally

[85] miracles: In some sense

[86] love at first sight: Not love love but yes

[87] Santa Claus: No

[88] kiss on the first date: Sure, you can do what you want

[89] angels: Kind of?

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Taylor! My precious lil bean! (If you’re reading this, I love you so much!!)

[91] eye color: Blue, apparently like really blue

[92] favourite movie: I don’t really know if I have one all-time favourite, but I really love Dorian Gray, Sweeney Todd, and Wall-E

Like I said at the start, I’m not tagging anyone specifically on this. So if you’re reading this and want to give it a shot, consider yourself tagged! ❤