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potatomountain · 2 months ago

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CIY CH 29

Chapter Twenty-Nine

📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader

📍Summary: "It's okay to be scared"

📍WC: 3k

📍AU: detective/mafia

📍Genre: action, dark romance, poly romance

📍Warning(s): mentions of torture/r@pe, mentions of minor character death, mentions of sex trafficking and kidnapping, PTSD, panic attacks. trauma triggers.

📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @yourfatherlucifer, @flurrys-creativity , @bunnliix, @adelusionforyourthoughts and occasionally @daemour

📍AN: a comfort chapter but there are still some serious topics so read at your own risk. also, not all panic attacks are like what reader experiences here in the chapter (this is going off my own p.a)

📍dividers and banner made by me!

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To say you haven’t had a moment alone would be an understatement. Someone was with you always, even when you had to use the restroom. Which- that was an embarrassing situation on its own, but after you had tried to take care of yourself alone the first time… well the embarrassment was better than the pain and anguish.

Surprisingly you didn’t mind someone glued to your side at all times. If it wasn’t Wooyoung, it was San. If it wasn’t one of them, it was Seonghwa. On occasion there were multiple. Sometimes Hongjoong was in here with Seonghwa, sometimes Yeosang was sitting in the corner on his laptop while Wooyoung or San, or both, had your undivided attention.

You couldn’t say how long had passed. A week? Maybe more? You hadn’t really moved from the room you were in, everything you could possibly need was brought to you. Food, water, any clothes from your apartment or belongings. Though you opted more for their clothes, the eager way some of them had begun to fight over who’s clothes you would wear next had you laughing.

Only for it to die as soon as you noticed the way they were looking at you. In awe, like their chest was aching.

It felt… wrong.

You were both grateful and appalled at the attention, and at the way they gave it. Ready to serve you, which from Wooyoung was normal and easy to accept- but when it was Seonghwa? Or the rare moments Mingi or Jongho or Yunho were here and soft with you… it left a bitter taste in your mouth.

None of them talked about it. They didn’t mention what had happened, nor the days before. Not even when you woke up screaming from a night terror, fighting off and hitting Hongjoong who had been the one watching you. The fact they felt the need to watch you was aggravating to say the least. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to be the first to say it. To mention it. To speak it into existence.

Once the pain began to subside, it was easier to forget it happened, pushing it to the back of your mind. In fact you were determined to act as if it had never happened, which wasn’t very easy to do, sandwiched between Wooyoung and San.

They were the touchiest, which you didn’t mind. Wooyoung was always touchy, but unlike before they were gentle and sweet: cupping your cheek, playing with your hands, kisses to your knuckles, and back rubs. San gave the better back rubs, rough and larger hands easing the tension there, but there was still a hard limit to how much they would touch you, as if the wrong touch would set you off.

With a huff you pushed yourself up, both of them sitting up just as quickly ready to get you anything you needed. You let the annoyance show. “I’m hungry and I want to shower. One of you is a radiating heater and I am laying in my own sweat for fuck’s sake.”

San chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry Sweetcheeks, I can help you with the shower-”

“No, I want to shower by myself. You can help Mister Chef with the food.” You stared down your nose at him, daring him to say otherwise.

“How about I stay right here just in case you need me?”

“San.” You warned, ignoring Wooyoung who was watching the battle of wills with his fingers over his mouth in shock. “I can handle a fucking shower by myself.”

Sensing this was something you weren’t going to budge on, he sighed. “And you can shower by yourself, but I would like to sit out here and wait for you in case you do need me. I’ve been cleaning you up all week, who knows you might want me to fix the spots you missed.” He winked, resulting in you rolling your eyes.

His words did make you feel less suffocated, and you knew that was why he said them, which just had you conflicted. He read you a little too well sometimes.

“Fine then. Chef Wooyoung-”

“Yes my lovely Goddess?”

“I would like to come downstairs and eat so take your time.”

“Hm alright, I’m sure the others have suffered without my cooking anyways. Enjoy your shower Goddess. Would you like my clothes today?”

“I’m wearing them now.” You pointed out with a smirk. His sweats were the ones that fit you the easiest. “But I suppose.” Patting his head you climbed around them, ignoring the twinge of pain from your sore muscles. Being bedridden did numbers on your body, even recovering, but you ignored the damage in favor of putting on a brave face.

You also ignored their gazes on your back as you made your way to the bathroom, completely forgetting the fact that you had showered daily since coming here. Sometimes twice. Usually to keep your wounds clean, but mostly because you felt unclean. And each time, Wooyoung or San, or even Seonghwa, would stand in the shower in their swim shorts and a shirt to bathe you properly.

Before, you would focus all your attention on them, just follow their lead. Let them take care of you. It was easy.

Now, as you stare in the mirror with the shirt off, it was not easy.

The cuts and bruises had faded significantly but they were still there. There was still so much proof of what had happened. How can you pretend it didn’t when it was right there?

Taking a deep breath you pushed forward, muttering under your breath it was fine. You had left the bathroom door cracked, despite telling yourself it would have been fine to lock it and give yourself some space but the idea of you alone in a locked room?

You could handle this, you weren’t broken. He didn’t break you. It was just a shower.

Mentally you talked yourself through each step until you were under the nice luxury shower, shutting your eyes and letting the water run down your body.

Big mistake.

There was no San or Wooyoung to keep you grounded. No clothes or sounds to remind you where you were, or keep your head out of that place.

You just wanted to forget. Just wanted to move on. But no matter how much you told yourself it didn’t happen, there was so much irrefutable proof that it did. No matter how much you didn’t want it to affect you, it did.

A scream erupted from you as arms were wrapped around you and you were pulled out of the shower. You slammed your fists down, hitting broad shoulders, but it didn’t deter whomever had you.

Not until you recognized San saying your name repeatedly.

You locked up, eyes flying open with fresh tears running down them. He had fresh scratches on his cheek from your nails, but his eyes held nothing but concern for you. “Are you with me now?”

Slowly you nodded, realizing you were panting- no hyperventilating just a moment ago. “I- yes. Yes I’m here.”

“Good. We need to talk.” He turned the shower off and then grabbed a towel. He wrapped you up and carried you out to the bedroom, door shut and curtains pulled tight: usually both were open so you didn’t feel more trapped.

They put so much effort into making you feel safe, you really didn’t know how to handle it. Was it because you were broken? No good to them? Or did they just feel like sucking up after what happened. You knew they felt guilty, from the moment you had latched onto Yunho when you woke up frightened. Then Wooyoung’s promise- which he had been keeping.

It was their way of caring for you, you couldn’t fault them for that. You just hated the why. Why they had to do so much. Treat you this way. And that without it you would be far more lost than you were now. You couldn’t run from it no matter how much you tried. How much you wanted to.

So as San sat you on the mattress and knelt before you, you peeled yourself away from him and grabbed the blankets to cocoon yourself in comfort. “Why did you come into the bathroom?”

San looked a bit perplexed, knees on the floor so he was still beneath you of sorts. “You were sobbing, quite loudly, and when I went in there you were struggling to breathe.” By your reaction, he gathered you hadn’t been aware of that. “Listen, I'm no stranger to these types of panic attacks. Sweetheart you have PTSD, which is understandable considering what happened. But pretending it didn’t happen isn’t going to fix it. Our bodies remember years after these things happen. I still struggle sometimes.”

Hugging the blanket tight you stared at him through the small hole you left yourself to breathe. “What do you mean? You went through something like that? Really?” It was hard to hide your disbelief, after all who could have gotten the jump on San? Big, muscly, trained to fight San?

He smiled wryly at you, and nodded. “Yeah… I did. I uh, guess it’s about time I let you in on my little secret. We went to school together, in fact you used to kick my ass in Taekwondo. I was a lot smaller then, higher pitched voice. Seemed to hit puberty late- yeah, now you remember.”

The more he had described himself, the more you did. The small twink that was a grade under year, and the only kid that wasn’t afraid to spare with you in your last year of high school. But he was shy, didn’t talk to you much, and he didn’t look much like the man before you. “But… didn’t that Choi San go missing shortly after his graduation? Don’t tell me you just joined up with these guys?”

He scoffed, but shook his head. “No, something happened first.” He crossed his arms over the mattress and rested his chin on the back of his hands, dropping the bomb. “I got sex trafficked. Red Wolves. I was one of the few that got sold in the city instead of shipped off, one of the Golden Circle business men had a certain… taste. It’s been a couple years but I still freak out about the idea of bottoming. I just…” He sighed, trailing off despite the bit of hurt in his voice. “Not with anyone here usually, but some days my mind just pluments and I can’t help it.”

Tears sprung back into your eyes at the imagery his words created. To imagine San, the sweet sunshine boy you remembered, going through something like that? “How’d you get out?”

“Wooyoung.” He brightened considerably at the name, smiling up at you. “He was hired as a call boy by the guy to do some things with me. He got me out by pulling some strings, and then put me here. I’m not the only one he got out of a tough bind, Yeosang too. He’s working hard to hopefully get his mother out of her situation but, that’s a lot harder than buying a sex slave or freeing you from someone else’s hold. Mingi too knows what it’s like, his mom got him into some serious shit when he was a minor.”

Your heart hurt for every single one of them. You couldn’t imagine the pain and fear you felt belonging to one of these men. Sure they were mafia. Sure they lied to you. But how could you doubt them when they had treated you like this the past week or so?

So much made sense, and it warmed your heart to know their care wasn’t out of pity, but understanding. They knew the fear that you were put through. And they knew what came after.

“Does it… does it ever go away?” You mumbled out, scooting closer and reaching for him.

San didn’t hesitate, sitting up straighter and holding his arms out. You climbed down onto his lap, shivering at the cold but he pulled the blankets back over you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Yes and no. It’s something that’s going to live with you forever. It’ll shape a lot of what you do, but if you mean the pain… that does go away. As long as you address it and feel it when it pops up. But then you have to remind yourself that it’s in the past. That man can’t hurt you any more- hell Hongjoong made sure of that. He was covered in the man’s blood.”

“I remember. I didn’t…. I didn’t know what to think about it at the time. I could barely process that Hongjoong and Seonghwa were there. That they were tortured too. I realize not like me… or maybe?”

“Yeah, what you went through was that bastard's way of trying to hurt them too. And I’m sorry about that baby girl. You're always going to be a weak spot for us, because we care so much about you. Wooyoung told you he loved you… he’s not the only one you know.” San gently rubbed your back, the same way he had every chance he got recently. It soothed you, helped regulate your breathing, and now you knew he did it because it probably worked for him too.

Smiling, you buried your face into his neck and breathed him in, always a comforting scent. “Are you going to confess now too?”

“Honestly I’m ashamed I wasn’t the first one. I liked you long before they even knew you.” He admitted with a huff and you could feel him smile as you laughed. “Even when you kicked my ass I thought you were the coolest girl and I had the biggest crush.”

Lifting your head you arched a brow. “Oh, now I see, that’s what you meant when you had said you had imagined pinning me down so many times. Twink 3000 was a major pervert huh?” You teased, laughing even more as he blushed, stumbling over his words.

“I was hoping you would forget I said that-”

“How can I?” You interrupted, cupping his jaw and forcing him to look at you. “There were times he would… touch me… that I comforted myself by thinking about those times with you guys. With you in the gym, Mingi, Wooyoung… I didn’t want to be scared of being touched like that.”

He softened, bringing his hands to your sides and holding you there. “It’s okay to be scared of it. It’s okay if you don’t trust us like that yet. Or ever again. We aren’t going to think less of you. We aren’t going to get upset if you don’t want us like that. Or if you only want one of us like that. Jongho doesn’t fuck all of us. Yeosang doesn’t either. Captain and Hwa share this bed, they’re a bit more than the rest of us but that’s fair. No one expects you to love or want us equally, but that doesn’t make you less of an equal in the ways that count.”

“Sannie-”

“It’s okay if you start crying randomly, or you need space or need the opposite. If you need a break or need to work. You went through something traumatic and you’re going to figure your triggers out and go through it differently than us.”

“Sannie.” You said it a bit louder this time, trying to get him out of his little tangent.

But he kept going, intent on getting his point across. “We just don’t know what you need yet so we were doing what works for us until you do but there isn’t anything wrong if you wanna keep this up too so like-”

“San!” You snapped out, then crashed your lips to his.

He was so startled he fell back, holding you to him but responding without hesitation once the shock passed. Of course kissing wasn’t something you thought you would want to do. Anything sexual, just as he had pointed out, but this was San.

This was your rock, your solid mountain. Your dimpled sunshine and perfect muscly pillow and you loved him. Just as much as you did Wooyoung.

Sure you hadn’t intended on confessing to the little yapper, but you had been spurred on his and knowing you were loved after what happened was oddly healing. There was a long way to go though.

Your hands found San’s hair, curling in the short black strands and moaning against the kiss as you proved to yourself you could enjoy this. At least until his hands roamed down to your ass. Pulling away while simultaneously catching your breath you grabbed his hands. “Kisses for now. And yes, I love you. If you had stopped with your big ‘It’s okay’ speech for two seconds I could tell you that.”

He chuckled bashfully but was grinning up at you so much his dimples were on full display. “You looove me~”

“This is the part where you say it back dumbass.”

He laughed, sitting up just as he swept you into his arms and somehow managed to get you on the bed and him on his feet in a matter of seconds. “I love you too baby girl. Now let’s find those clothes for you and then we can go downstairs and eat. Though I am vetoing you being alone naked, or in a locked room until you actually feel comfortable and am not doing it just because we annoyed you with our clinginess.”

With a pout you nodded in agreement. Considering both seemed to be things you just couldn’t handle alone - yet - you could agree there. “Can I freely roam the building then and, I don’t know, try and do some work?”

“Oh so you do want to work?” He hummed out, moving over to the bin of clothes that had been gathered for you. “As a detective or…”

Now that was the real question. Traumatizing hostage experience aside, and your love for two of these men, where did you stand with them? As individuals, in a career sense… in a partner sense?

“I guess I should talk to everyone and figure it out shouldn’t I?”

AN: One last chapter to go! Bringing Case: It's You to it's climax.

This story focused more on reader finding a home with Ateez and learning their secret, as well as some other things. but book 2, Case: It's Us, will tackle the usual plot point of taking down the rest of the crim world... if they can. From Revenge, to healing, to a whole lot of smut -- please look forward to book 2! I hope I can wrap this one up in a way that satisfies you all, and really shows where their relationship is here at the end of Book 1

Taglist will be done in reblogs and again, keep your eyes peeled for taglist instructions on the last chapter. Follow them and you will be added to the new taglist! The old one will be scrapped!

#pirateeznet #lapydiariesnet #mirohsaurorasociety #ciy #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez ot8 #ateez mafia au #triggering content #ateez fanfiction #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #poly ateez x reader

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littlexdeaths · 6 months ago

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we should probably hear him out, right?

older brother’s best friend eddie x fem reader

warnings: angst, miscommunication, reader is bratty and mean bc her insecurities get the best of her, eddie is far too sweet for his own good.

it’s a recipe for disaster masterlist.

a/n: ngl i did struggle a bit with this one, so i really wanna thank @strangerstilinski & @uglypastels & @undead-supernova for giving me some much needed advice. ily all 💕also this is a tad bit long… oopsie. xx.

eddie was beyond confused.

you haven’t spoken to him in days and whenever he came around to see sid, you had holed yourself up in your room. your bedroom window remained locked and despite his futile attempts to get you to open up, you ignored him.

it was such a complete 180 from how you’d been acting only a few days prior— so he couldn’t help but assume the worst.

maybe you had changed your mind, regretted this… or more specifically regretted him.

what else was he supposed to think?

but you really couldn't help yourself — too busy replaying that moment over and over in your head.

a flash of strawberry blonde hair. and the memory of eddie’s gentle gaze directed so sweetly at someone who decidedly wasn't you…

it had the green mist that clouded your mind twisting into something else entirely, something uglier. jealousy gave way to hurt, and hurt gave way to anger.

seeing eddie with her had pushed all of your insecurities to the surface. they bubbled hotly beneath your ribs and left you feeling sick to your stomach for the first few days, but that was before you realized that anger was far easier to deal with than sadness.

now, you clung to your rage like a safety blanket.

and while you wanted to be angry with both of them— it really wasn’t chrissy’s fault.

so you took that anger and frustration out on him, as childish as it was. and the more days that passed, your cold shoulder morphed into clipped words and pointed glares.

it was enough for even sid to take notice.

“dude, i don’t know what happened but i think i preferred it when she was making heart eyes at you.” he’d said after you stormed through the garage during one of their band practices.

purposefully knocking your shoulder against eddie’s while you passed by. it was so completely out of character for you that it had all the guys stunned into an uncomfortable silence.

but despite how poorly you continued to treat him, eddie kept showing up regardless. while it was always under the guise of hanging out with your brother, you knew better.

he tried his best to find a time to pull you aside to talk to you, but you were being more elusive than ever. and his own frustrations with your actions began to weigh heavily on him.

and one of these days he would explode— whether sid was there to witness it or not.

everything finally reaches a boiling point just a week later, when you came downstairs to find eddie lounging on your sofa. a random horror flick playing on the tv and your brother nowhere to be found.

while you could’ve turned around and retreated to the privacy of your room, the petty side of you wants to continue to push his buttons. so you make your way down the stairs, quietly shuffling behind the sofa and leaning your hip against it.

once you have a better view you can’t help but roll your eyes at the choice of the film, the cover art staring up at you almost mockingly.

cheerleader camp, what a surprise.

“really, munson? i thought you of all people would’ve had better taste than this shit.”

your voice sounds a beat before a dramatic score fills the room and eddie jumps in surprise. his curls bounce when his head whips around to peek up at you, and you expect to be met with a look of irritation. but you’re more than confused to see the relief that flits across his features instead.

because at least you’re talking to him.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.

and you have to look away from the intensity of his gaze, already feeling your defenses start to crumble. damn him. so you advert your attention back to the movie, jaw tightening as you see a flash of brightly colored pom poms fill the screen.

“oh, nothing…” you inhale sharply, “it’s just obvious that you have a type.”

you gesture towards the tv and any lingering anger swirling in your body begins to dissipate. but before he can see the flash of hurt in your eyes, you quickly turn on your heel and start to climb the stairs back towards your room.

“whoa— whoa, sweetheart, hang on!” eddie huffs, hopping over the back of the sofa to rush after you.

only his socks slip on the hardwood floor and he almost goes tumbling to the ground. but he’s able to catch himself on the banister, and uses the momentum to skip past the first few steps to the landing.

“i really don’t want to do this right now, eddie.”

a glance over your shoulder has you quickening your pace, practically taking the stairs two at a time in an effort to put more distance between you. but eddie is a lot faster than you gave him credit for. the male was already hot on your heels once you reach the top of the staircase.

“jesus christ— slow down!”

you ignore him and continue down the hall toward your bedroom, and you’ve barely crossed the threshold before he’s tugging on your wrist to whirl you back around. eddie is practically panting as he pulls you closer and it takes everything in your power not to lean into his touch.

“will you please just tell me what the hell is going on?” he pleads, leaning against the door-jam.

“i don’t know, why don’t you ask your new girlfriend about it?” you scoff, yanking your wrist out of his grip and attempting to slam the door in his face.

but eddie sticks his foot into the crack right before it can fully close, wincing as a fiery pain shoots up into his calf. and despite the throbbing in his foot, he pushes his way into your room.

“mouse, what are you even talking about?”

you can hear the frustration that begins to bleed into his voice, but you keep your back to him. you know that seeing him was going to make this that much harder.

“please just cut the bullshit eddie, i saw you with her,” you voice cracks as you try to swallow down the emotions threatening to burst from your chest.

“with who?”

“— chrissy!”

it’s silent for a beat, besides the sounds of your heavy breathing. so when you finally muster the courage to face him. that confused, yet hurt expression doesn’t falter.

“sweetheart, i honestly don’t know what you’re so upset about.”

he rubs a hand down his face with a deep sigh.

“i’m not blind, eddie,” you’re almost offended that he thinks he might be able to get away with pretending that it never happened. “i saw how she looked at you.”

eddie just stares at you for a moment, bewildered and unblinking. until he suddenly bursts into a fit of laughter, which only re-ignites the hurt and fury that’s been swirling in your gut for the past week and a half.

“i really don’t see how any of this is funny, eddie,” you snap.

“it’s just….” he practically wheezes, taking a step toward you. “you’ve got this whole thing wrong, baby.”

the slip of the pet name has your insides fluttering, despite your lingering resentment.

“well enlighten me, then.”

it takes him a minute to calm down completely, but once he does he’s reaching out for your hands and closes the lingering space between your bodies.

“i promise you, mouse. i’m really not her type.”

your snort has him sighing deeply before he cradles your cheeks between his palms. while you’re not satisfied with that answer, your anger starts to fizzle under the warmth of his gaze.

eddie then licks his lips while he attempts to collect his thoughts and your eyes can’t help but follow the motion.

“let’s just say… we bat for the same team.”

embarrassment immediately floods through you as the weight of his words begin to sink in.

and now you feel like a total idiot.

“oh.” you breathe.

“yeah, oh,” he chuckles.

“oh my god, i’m so stupid,” you groan, letting your head fall forward to bump into his shoulder.

“hey, you’re not stupid, mouse. just maybe… a little prone to jumping to conclusions.”

you can feel him laugh again as he envelopes you completely in his arms. and you gladly bury your face deeper into the crook of his neck in an effort to hide your warm cheeks.

“however…” he continues, “next time, if i do something that makes you worry like that. will you promise to just come and talk to me?”

he can feel you nod your head, his body relaxing when your lips press into his clothed shoulder.

“while i know i can an asshole sometimes, i’m not a total prick.”

eddie grins when that pulls a giggle out of you, having missed that sound more than he’d care to admit. the male then gently grips your chin between his thumb and fore finger, coaxing you up until you meet his eyes.

and there’s nothing but sincerity that shines through them.

“so, what do you say?” he muses.

your head tilts in slight confusion as he leans in to nudge his nose with yours, your breath mingling together.

“be my girl?”

series taglist: @nailbatanddungeon @angel-eyes-and-devil-hearts @mugloversonly @eddiemunsonfuxks @munsonhoneybaby @alagalaska @creative1writings @missmarch-99 @stolen-in-moonlight @xxbimbobunnyxx @calumfmu @bastardstevie @prestinalove @indigosparkle444 @tlclick73 @hellfire--cult @take-everything-you-can

let me know if you’d like to join the taglist!

#the freak writes 🫧#eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x f!reader #brothers best friend!eddie munson #brothersbff!eddie munson #[ the munson files ]#[ series: it’s a recipe for disaster ]

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deadhands69 · 4 months ago

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cursing each other over and over again [2/3]

MDNI

Toge Inumaki x cursed speech reader (not quite the same as his)

Super fluffy, mildly angsty but it gets smutty in the next one. Warnings/content/etc: Toge Inumaki x reader, fem-bodied/no pronouns, unestablished relationship, swearing, light violence (slapping), kissing, slightly suggestive conversation, mentions of dub con, cursed speech use. AU: Jujutsu University, all characters over 18

part 1 - this is part 2 - part 3

Text key:

🖤 You 🤍 Toge

Even after clearing things up with Toge, you still felt weird about going to class in the morning. Sure, you talked things through with him but didn’t know what to expect from everyone else.

In addition to this, you're exhausted. You spent most of the night laying in bed regretting a chunk of the texts you’d sent him instead of sleeping. You particularly regret telling your crush you have no game and can’t even manage to talk to him. How embarrassing is that?

He seemed to understand though. He has to, right? Dating with cursed speech of any kind isn’t easy. You can’t just walk up and strike up a conversation with someone you like. There’s also the weird dynamic shift when they realize you can control their actions. When you inadvertently force them to kiss you and you’re awkwardly trying to get out of it, knowing it’s not what they want, traumatizing you both in the process. Or worse, you could accidentally hurt them. That’s probably even worse for him. Maybe he gets it?

Anyways, what does two cursed speech users dating look like, you’d be cursing each other back and forth constantly. He probably doesn’t want that.

Stopping yourself, you can’t think about this all day.

On the walk across campus, you started trying some breathing exercises Gojo gave you when you first arrived. In addition to the usual homework, he also tasked you with learning to control your emotions. Fair. So far, you’ve found it easier some times than others. This morning wasn’t too bad until, in your distraction, you collided with Toge where two sidewalks intersect.

He says “kelp”, his eyes smiling. You wave and smile back.

Your heart is racing, but at least it’s no weirder than when you first met him. You walk together silently until you reach the classroom.

Immediately, Panda high-fives him as Maki smacks him in the back of the head. You take your seat as she continues to berate him. Yuta sits next to you asking about your evening. It would be nice, but you can tell he’s just pushing to see how things went with his friend. He moves seats as soon as Inumaki approaches.

Just before class is scheduled to start (okay, you have an extra five minutes every day because Gojo is consistently at least five minutes late) your phone buzzes.

🤍 [sorry if that was weird for you] 🤍 [i actually didn’t tell anyone we hung out] 🤍 [maki told the gc you left my room at midnight after i left everyone on read]

You look up to see Toge waiting to see how you'll react.

🖤 [haha i mean it's fine] 🖤 [technically that’s true] 🖤 [but] 🖤 [there’s a solid implication there] 🖤 [at least rumor me is getting laid]

You look at him rolling your eyes to make it clear that was sarcasm, you’d correct people later. He laughs.

The rest of the week passes quickly. Lots of homework to catch up on and even more to learn. Wednesday, you got to go on a mission with Maki. Who, you are pleased to learn, is a lot more caring than she lets on. The two of you were able to take out a few grade 2 curses together fairly quickly. It felt great being able to use your technique for more than destruction. After, you got sushi and talked for a while. You talked about jujutsu sorcery, life, pretty much everything. Toge came up once but since that was nearly all anyone in your class had asked you about since you arrived, she didn’t drag the subject out.

By the time Friday arrives, you realize you haven’t had time to fully unpack and set your room up. You also hadn’t talked to Toge much more than in passing.

Pulling your folded clothes out of boxes and hanging them in the closet, your mind wanders. He asked to hang out first, does he want you to reach out next? Is he just busy? Or did you scare him off? You only hung out once, just because you have a huge crush on him doesn’t mean he feels the same after spending some small amount of time with you. He still seems to want to be friends, at least. So it wouldn’t be too weird to ask to hang out this weekend. That’s not so bad. Looking down at empty boxes, you realize you’ve been spiraling longer than you thought. Maybe you should just text him.

Pulling your phone out, you hear a commotion down the hall. The clang of pots and pans on the ground, Panda’s oversized footsteps thumping down the hallway, Maki yelling and Toge screaming “CAVIAR!”

Or, maybe you should text him later. He sounds busy.

A scuffle of footsteps make their way closer to your cracked door. Maki pokes her head in, she’s covered in half cooked rice.

As mockingly sweet as she can muster, “hey [y/n], getting set up?”

You nod, pretending you didn’t just hear the chaos.

“Need help with those shelves?” she says gesturing to a box you’d thus far neglected.

“Yeah, I -”

“Perfect! Here, take this” she shoves a disheveled Toge through the door and slams it.

“I was just about to text you. But you sounded, uh, busy.”

You lean into the doorway to look him up and down, amused. He laughs and pulls a grain of rice out of his hair.

Hanging shelves goes fast with the two of you, he holds them level while you screw them in. And since you’re concentrating, you almost don’t notice how close the two of you are standing together. Almost.

You’re on the last one above your bed, it’s the biggest and it’s heavy. He shifts so his hands are on both sides of the shelf above his head, pressing you between the wall and him. This shouldn’t be weird, you tell yourself. It’s not like there’s a better way to hold it. No, this is how you have to do this. Telling yourself that doesn’t change that you can feel his chest pressing into you and breath against your neck. Nevermind that you were on the floor of his room rolling around before he bit you Monday, this felt. Different.

Distracted, you pause for a second to take it all in. The feel of his warm body pushing into you with every inhale. His arms flexing above you. He’s so strong to hold something so heavy. Oh, shit. Back to work.

With some fumbling, the last screw goes in and you’re done. You spin around to mouth “thanks” but Toge stays in place. Smiling down at you, his arms drop slightly from the shelf to the wall, still pressing you back. His smokey violet eyes connect with yours. You glance at the circles on his cheeks, visible since he took his jacket off shortly after arriving. Sliding his hands down further, he gently grabs your wrists and pulls you down to sit with him. Keeping the closeness: you’re still up against the wall with him leaning in. He smiles and you forget how to breathe. His hand brushes the hair from your forehead, sliding it behind one of your now flushed ears. Your heart is pounding out of your chest as he moves in closer.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

“Inumaki!?”

Wide eyed, he freezes: still leaning into you with one hand on the wall near your head and the other at your side.

BANG.

“Panda cleaned my kitchen. If you’re done hanging shelves, come help me with the extra laundry you made!” you hear Maki yell.

“Salmon!” he grumbles, not fast enough. Another bang and your door cracks open, giving Panda and Maki a direct view of the two of you on your bed. In the background, you see a pretending-to-be-nonchalant Gojo passing by then double-taking back to look over their shoulders.

Well, so much for dispelling rumors.

He begrudgingly stands up and walks to the door.

You slump into your bed in both embarrassment and disappointment. You were so close. You glance back at them.

Holding one finger up for the three of them to wait for something, Toge shoos the other three away and closes the door.

Returning to your bed, he crawls back to you, pressing his hand back to its spot on the wall behind you while bringing the other behind your head. Leaning in, without hesitation, he presses his lips onto yours kissing you feverishly. Your face melts into his and you completely forget about the group standing outside your door listening. He pulls back, pecks your lips once more, and smiles before grabbing his jacket and walking out. You lay there, too stunned to move. Your hand slides over your comforter and - wait, is that a grain of rice?

9:58pm - Friday

🤍 [not to ‘you up’ you but you up?] 🖤 [kiss me once and you’re looking for a bootycall now?] 🤍 [you know it] 🖤 [pshhh] 🤍 [nah] 🤍 [fr tho i need to talk to you] 🤍 [i wanted to earlier but Maki just set me free 20 minutes ago] 🤍 [and i had to wash the rice out of my hair] 🤍 [can i come by?] 🖤 [you’re not making the rumors any better, Toge…]

You’re pretty tired from getting your room set-up and finishing all of your homework but you know you definitely won’t get any sleep putting this conversation off. Hopefully he doesn’t think kissing you was a mistake. You don't think you used your cursed energy on him?

🖤 [but yeah] 🖤 [of course you can]

Quickly, you jump out of bed to change into something cuter. Still gym shorts and a t-shirt but at least these ones aren’t ripped or stained. You fix your hair before running to the knock on the door.

Toge walks in, looking around in awe of your room. The shelves the two of you put up earlier are now covered in books, plants, and color changing lights in the shapes of your favorite anime characters. He gestures at them and smiles. The dim lighting glows in a rainbow of colors that dance on his face. Taking a massive breath, he begins typing. Pausing, he erases what he wrote, puts his phone away, and unzips his jacket. Biting his lip, he turns to you. Is he about to say something?

Extending one finger, he slowly points at you then at himself. Still biting his lip, he shrugs his shoulders in a question. His eyes dig into yours, begging you to understand.

“together” you whisper-yell, this time feeling your cursed energy pull him to you. A twinge of guilt hits the back of your mind at accidentally using your power on him, but it’s quickly pushed aside by the familiarity of him smashing his lips into yours. He kisses you with even more passion than earlier, gripping your waist like he can’t pull you close enough. You run your hands through his damp hair. He pulls his face away momentarily to nod yes, before smiling and squeezing you back into him.

Your curse has completely faded and he’s still here.

[I’m so proud of him, I didn’t really think Toge had game, but somehow writing him this way made sense. Good for him.]

part 3

m.list

#inumaki toge #inumaki x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk #inumaki toge fluff #inumaki toge imagine #toge inumaki #toge inumaki smut #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jujutsu kaisen

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minefield-of-a-ninja · 9 months ago

Text

Prompt from @stusbunker: Dean used to think he could never keep up with your exhibitionism. The Demon inside him calls your bluff.

Characters: Knight of Hell/Demon Dean Winchester x You, Sam Winchester

Tags/warnings: 18+ ONLY, dubious consent, exhibitionism, dirty talk, name-calling, threat of object insertion (yes, please, sir), misuse of a piano bench, pool table sex, you are a GD TROOPER for this heroic act

Words: 1,500

Author's notes: Stuie, you always give the best prompts. @brrose-apothecary and I had a lot of fun with this one!

This is the first fill for my 2024 Flashfic Festival.

Exhibition

“Dean Winchester,” you sing-song as you saunter into the backroom of the bar, where Dean’s been plucking at piano keys and downing Maker’s like water for hours.

You narrow and drag your deliberately licentious gaze over Dean’s frame, and he answers with a head tilt and a mirror of your attitude and glare. He greets you by name as he slowly rolls his shoulders back and turns away from the piano keys to face you. You pretend not to notice him setting aside his recent weapon of choice in favor of a glass filled with whiskey.

“What’s a nice boy like you doing in a place-” you pause and give the room a distasteful scan before returning your attention to Dean. “Like this?”

You come to a halt about three feet from Dean, closer than I’d allow if I could come out of the shadows, but we agreed to you going in alone.

“Not so nice,” Dean replies, sipping from his glass as he swings one leg over the bench to straddle it. He watches you over the rim of his glass for a few beats before taking a long pull.

“Mmm, you Winchester boys really try playing the Bad Boy card.”

Dean shrugs as he stands up. You watch his body unfold, and a brief flash of uncertainty sparks in your eyes.

“Guess ya haven’t talked to my baby brother in a while, huh?” Dean downs the remainder of what’s in his glass, as he strolls toward the bar, brushing past you, side-eye and all.

“Tall, dark, and tight-ass? Not lately.”

I roll my eyes at that one, but you’re playing your own cards right now and doing it well. You turn with Dean as he passes you, making sure to keep him in your sight and off your back.

Dean scoffs at your remark as he reaches for the bottle of whiskey left out on the bar to refill his glass. “Yeah, Sammy’s always had a stick up his ass.”

He takes another long sip and feigns nonchalance, resting his elbow on the bartop, searching your eyes as you walk the ominous path to meet him toe-to-toe.

“Not you, though. I always wished we had more time together, for a little-” you sigh and bite your lip. “Remember that night in Chattanooga? I told you the coast was clear, but-” you shake your head, moving closer. “You were too worried someone’d walk in on us.”

You chuckle and roll your eyes like you aren’t baiting a Knight of Hell. Dean silently stares you down, his expression unreadable, until your combat boots kiss his loggers.

“Think you wanted someone to walk in on us,” he grunts before taking another sip.

You shrug and play coy. “Maybe I liked an audience.”

There’s a sound of muffled voices entering the kitchen from the alley, pots and pans being utilized, and water is turned on. My heart rate kicks up a notch, but you remain composed. Dean studies your lack of reaction.

“How ‘bout now?” he asks, throwing back the rest of his drink and setting the empty glass aside. He doesn’t take his eyes off you as he towers over you, clearly using his size and mass to rattle you.

You grin and Dean smirks. He shoves a hand up the back of your hair and squeezes. It has to sting, but you whimper and start to drool, gripping the lapels of his overshirt. He angles your head to his advantage, exposing your throat, and dips in to lick a line from your collarbone to your jaw.

“Didn’t answer my question,” he mutters, taking the hinge of your jaw between his teeth and rolling you to arch your back over the bar.

You stumble and huff a breath. Your eyes are wild and searching until they find mine, and you sigh with relief, letting your eyes fall closed. You relax into Dean’s forceful onslaught.

“Maybe I still like it,” you breathe, opening your eyes again, and showing me renewed conviction.

Dean chuckles again, darker this time with a cruel edge I’ve never heard from him. He kicks your feet apart, making your skirt ride up high, and tucks a knee between your thighs, brushing dangerously against your knee-high boots.

He kisses you then, using the hold on your hair to keep you where he wants you, and tearing at the buttons of your blouse.

“This get you off? Knowin’ the kitchen staff’s back there? That they’re gonna hear when I make you scream?”

You wrench from his hold and push him. He laughs and stumbles backward, watching you stalk after him, dropping your jacket to the floor and removing your shredded top the rest of the way.

“Keep talking.”

“You like an audience and you like me tellin’ you about it? Want me to tell you what a dirty girl you are too?”

Dean bumps the piano bench and sits with his back to the piano, letting you climb astride his hips and push his shirt from his shoulders to the black and white keys. He grabs you by the hair again, and his other hand disappears under your skirt.

“Answer me,” he sneers.

Your body jolts. I did not expect things to go this far—you’ve put yourself at grave risk, but you’re turned on, too. I’m not a voyeur, but I can’t take my eyes off you for even one second and leave you at his mercy.

“Fuck,” you whisper. “Yes. Tell me.”

Dean nods, licking his lips.

“I’d bet-” he pauses and his shoulder rolls with whatever his hand’s doing under your skirt, and you choke on air, mimicking the grip he has in your hair. “That dishwasher back there’d love to walk out here and see you ridin’ my hand like a hot, little slut.”

You gasp and yank his head back, but he resists enough to maintain eye contact with you.

“Could lay ya out on the lid of this baby grand, spread you open, fuck that bottle of whiskey into this tight, slick hole for everybody to see and hear. Give ‘em all a little sip of this pussy.”

You whimper and drop your chin to your chest and your forehead to his.

“Listen to how fuckin’ sloppy you are,” Dean mutters. “So easy. C’mon and come and I’ll bend you over the pool table and give ‘em a real show.”

You roll your head to the side and your mouth falls open on a silent cry, one fist tightening in his hair and the other twisting the neck of his t-shirt.

“There it is,” Dean whispers.

He gives you about three seconds before standing and carrying you to the pool table.

“Not even wearin’ panties. You came here down to fuck, didn’t ya, princess?”

He drops you on the edge of the table then traces the ridge of your collarbone and the straps of your bra before flicking the front open and letting it drop around your wrists. You toss it aside, so you aren’t hindered by it, while Dean unbuckles his belt and pushes you to lie back.

You lift your knees and hold yourself open by the backs of your thighs. Dean rests a hand over your breastbone before trailing his fingers from your sternum to your belly as he guides himself inside you, and you both groan.

“Oh-ho-ho,” Dean huffs a laugh and wraps his fingers around your knees on top of yours. “I knew this pussy’d be good. The old me was too much of a softie to fuck ya rough and quick back in Chattanooga. Someone might’ve walked in!” He laughs, pressing over your belly as he sets a brutal pace. “Worth the fuckin’ wait, though, shit.”

He never shuts the fuck up, talking about what it looks like sinking into you, telling you how pretty you are stretched around his hammering cock, and calling you the best, dirtiest, little bitch he’s ever had.

He’s so caught up in the moment, so amused by the sound of his own voice and satisfaction, that he doesn’t see you reach into the hidden compartments on the outside of each of your boots.

You’re lightning fast with the holy water and cuffs. Before I can even make my way out from the service hallway where I’d been hiding since 10 AM, Dean’s on his knees, smoke rolling from his skin with his hands bound.

“Nice work,” I huff a breath, stopping short to give you enough room to gather your things.

Dean snarls and snaps as you hop down from the table and smooth your skirt over your hips.

“Thanks.” You reach for your bra and quickly slip into it before scooping up your jacket.

“You fucking bitch,” Dean growls, rolling to his back to refasten his pants. “You can’t hold me like this, and I will fucking kill you. Both of you.”

I watch you shrug into your jacket with wide eyes. You’re trembling as you sidle up next to me. “You sure this’s gonna work?” you whisper.

I nod and squeeze your hand in mine. “I’m sure.”

I draw a deep breath and watch my brother smolder like a raging forest fire, dragging you closer to my side than to where he’s writhing at our feet.

“It has to.”

My Dean Winchester Fic | My Supernatural Fic | My Master List

#dean winchester x you #demon dean x you #demon dean smut

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benispunk · 1 month ago

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Who's That Girl?

Chapter 9: Looking After You

What happens when a guy bothers Y/N in a bar? Logan comes to the rescue. But there's no real meaning behind this...right?

logan howlett x reader

TW: language, D&W.

A/N: hey hey hey!! so sorry for not posting on Sunday!!! but I come with great news ! the wicked witch of the west is dead!- oops nope, wrong fandom, anyway, you're getting a new chapter right now...and TWO other ones this week!!!! why??? because a special chapter is coming for Christmas!!! and like...I'm kinda bad with schedules so I have to post all these chapters before the Christmas one...alright, enjoy this one!!!!🎀

→ this fic is inspired by the TV Show New Girl, Wade and Logan aren't Deadpool and Wolverine (no powers/mutant gene etc) but I did take most of their character traits and storyline!!

Masterlist /Previous Part / Next Part

If you had told little Y/N that this would be her life, she would probably be thrilled.

Not just because of her deep fear of loneliness and/or the divorce of her parents haunting her every thoughts during her teenage years, no. But because of how much fun she was having.

Not that they were going out every single day and throwing parties whenever they wanted, far from that.

They just made her life happier. Fuller.

She definitely hadn’t been through the same traumatic events as them in her life, but she did feel out of place sometimes— as if she was too late most of the time. As a kid, and then teenager, people would always say that she was the responsible one. You know how they call you the mom friend. That’s probably what happens when you’re the one in charge of yourself when your parents are too busy making their life a living nightmare.

The thing is, she felt like an adult as a teenager, and now that she was deep into her adulthood, she felt like something was missing. Looking back at the past and noticing that some boxes haven’t been crossed and will never be. It always left her feeling frustrated and regretful.

Living with Wade and Logan, though…that was something.

And everything started falling into place.

It wasn’t any single, big thing that brought them close. Instead, it was a hundred tiny, everyday moments that started to add up, grounding her more than she’d realized.

There were late-night talks after a long day at school, worn out and ready to crash, only to find Wade stretched out on the couch, waving her over to join him for one of his favorite TV shows. They would sit there, munching on popcorn he’d burned at least twice before getting it right, laughing until their sides hurt at his running commentary. Logan would often wander in from his room, rolling his eyes but eventually plopping down with them, claiming he was “just passing through” but never actually leaving.

Each of them brought something different to her life. Wade was all chaotic energy, someone who could make a night out of anything, even if it was just a spontaneous grocery run that somehow turned into them wandering the aisles, making each other laugh as they competed to find the most bizarre snack.

Logan might be quieter, but when he did join in, he gave as good as he got. He’d take one look at Wade’s latest snack “invention,” mutter a deadpan, “You know that’s disgusting, right?” and somehow, that would start a full-blown debate. Wade would challenge him, daring him to try it, and after an exaggerated sigh, Logan would take a reluctant bite. Every time, Y/N would watch the shift, catching the way his mock-serious front softened as he leaned into the banter. Wade, of course, would just grin, teasing until Logan broke into a laugh or tossed a pillow at him.

And then there were the mornings. She’d wake up to the sound of clinking dishes and find Logan already making coffee, often still in sweatpants and looking like he hadn’t quite left his dreams behind. They would share a quiet nod or a quick “Morning” before she poured her cup and joined him at the table, where she could count on him to ask, “Got anything big planned today?” She loved those simple chats, the way he genuinely listened.

All three of them together, though— that was something else. Their dinners turned into improvisations, with Wade trying to “improve” a recipe while Logan, arms crossed and with a skeptical brow, dared him to do his worst. Y/N would end up laughing until her stomach hurt as Logan finally gave in, joining Wade’s kitchen experiments with his own twist, each trying to one-up the other in some unspoken contest. The apartment filled with their laughter, the kind of warmth and chaos that made it feel alive.

It had been a few months now that she had moved in, and as she— or they— settled into a new routine together, everything started to feel right.

———

The bar buzzed with life as Logan and Y/N settled at a small table near the stage, waiting for Wade’s gig to begin. Logan, his usual stoic self, sat with his arms crossed, eyes scanning the crowd with a casual alertness, while Y/N tapped her foot, soaking in the atmosphere.

“I like this place,” Y/N said, glancing around with a smile. "Kinda cozy."

Logan shrugged, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. "Yeah, it’s alright. Wade actually picked a decent spot this time."

She chuckled. "Did you come to his gigs a lot before I moved in?"

"Whenever I was able to." Logan’s mouth twitched in a half-smile. "I come here so there's at least one person clapping."

Y/N laughed, nudging him with her elbow. "You’ve got backup tonight, don’t worry."

Logan’s lip quirked, and he leaned back, looking faintly amused. "Guess we’ll see."

Just then, the lights dimmed slightly as Wade sauntered onto the stage, his confidence as loud as the applause he imagined he was getting. He held the mic up dramatically. "How’s everyone doing tonight?" The crowd responded with scattered claps and a few cheers—except for Y/N, who stood up, clapping and whistling loud enough to draw curious glances.

"Wooo! Wade!" she cheered, grinning at him.

Wade’s eyes lit up, and he pointed at her with an exaggerated look of delight. "Finally! I have a real fan!"

Y/N laughed, catching Logan’s eye as she sat back down. "Told you I’d back you up."

Logan shook his head, but the smirk on his face gave him away. Wade launched into his routine, cracking jokes and jabs, his charisma filling the room. Throughout the set, Logan and Y/N exchanged knowing looks whenever Wade would refer to stuff they knew he did, or didn’t. And before they knew it, his set wrapped up. He joined them, looking more than pleased with himself, dropping into his seat, his grin wide as he took a long drink.

"Not bad, huh?" he said, reclining in his chair with a dramatic sigh.

Y/N gave him an exaggerated round of applause. "You were amazing, Wade!"

Wade mock-bowed. "Ah, stop, you’re making me blush." He shot a glance at Logan. "Even Logan cracked a smile, so you know I crushed it."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Don’t push it."

Y/N laughed, excusing herself to go to the restroom. She navigated through the crowd, but just as she neared the hallway, a man stepped into her path, blocking her way. He was slightly taller than her, with a casual smirk, one that didn’t put her at ease at all.

"Hey," he said smoothly. "I saw you cheering pretty loud for the comedian up there. What’s your name?"

Y/N offered a polite but firm smile, stepping slightly to the side. "Just here for the show," she replied, aiming to make her way around him.

But he matched her move, his smirk growing. "Don’t be like that. Why don’t you give me your number? We could grab a drink sometime."

"Thanks, but I’m not interested," Y/N said, her tone polite but clear. She tried to step around him again, but this time he reached out, catching her arm in a firm grip. The slight edge in his eyes made her pulse quicken.

"Come on," he pressed, leaning closer. "Just your number."

A chill ran down her spine, and she tensed, glancing down at his hand. "Let go of my arm," she said quietly, but her voice wavered slightly.

Just then, Logan’s voice cut through the crowd, cold and unmistakably firm. "Let her go."

The man glanced up, and his expression shifted when he saw Logan, who had closed the distance between them in silence. Logan’s gaze was intense, and his stance made everyone around them feel warned.

The man loosened his grip and stepped back. "Alright, alright," he muttered, fading quickly into the crowd.

Logan waited until the man was gone, his gaze softening only slightly as he turned to Y/N. "You okay?"

Y/N exhaled, relief washing over her as she nodded. “Yeah. Thank you. He just appeared out of nowhere and I kind of got…confused. Don’t know how to explain it. Thank you for stepping in.” she said, her eyes meeting his.

Logan shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, but a hint of protectiveness lingered in his gaze. “It’s okay. You don’t have to thank me.”

She told him she’ll be back to the table quickly as she went inside the bathroom. Meanwhile, he walked back to the table in silence. When he arrived, Wade was waiting with his usual smirk, though there was a slight curiosity in his gaze.

"Everything alright?" Wade asked, his eyes narrowing as he glanced at Logan.

Logan gave a brief, dismissive nod, though his posture was a bit more tense than usual. "Yeah, all good."

But Wade leaned back in his seat, one eyebrow raised. "Oh, really?" he said, drawing out the words. "What exactly happened over there, huh?"

Logan shot him a warning look. “It was nothing.”

"Nothing?" Wade repeated, clearly enjoying himself. "Then how come you jumped up faster than I’ve ever seen you move?" He tilted his head, grinning. "And you were sitting with your back to the hallway— how did you even see that guy bothering her? Were you, I don’t know… watching her?"

Logan’s jaw tightened, a faint flush creeping up his neck. "I just happened to look over, Wade."

Wade chuckled, not letting it go so easily. "Sure, just happened to look over, behind you, all the way across the bar, like a perfectly normal thing. You know, most people don’t have superhero reflexes, but hey, I guess that’s just you, huh? The author really had to give you a sixth sense, and here I thought this was a no-powers AU fic. I’m jealous now!"

Logan just rolled his eyes again, knowing that he would never hear the end of it.

Y/N returned to the table just then, completely oblivious to the exchange between them. She smiled at Wade and Logan, though her gaze lingered on Logan, a subtle thank you in her eyes. "Did I miss something?"

"Nothing at all," Wade said smoothly, but the mischievous glint in his eyes betrayed him. He shot a knowing look at Logan. "Just Logan saving the day."

If looks could kill, then maybe the author really did give powers to her characters, or else Wade would be dead from the amount of rage radiating from Logan’s eyes.

Y/N looked a bit surprised, her smile softening as she turned to Logan. "Well, he did save me from a pretty annoying guy." She gave Logan a warm look. "Guess I have a personal bodyguard now."

Logan shrugged, trying to hide a smile. "I wouldn’t get used to it."

"Oh, I think she should," Wade interjected, grinning. "Logan’s got a radar for trouble when it comes to you."

Logan glared at him, but Y/N only laughed, the tension easing as Wade continued to pile on the teasing.

———

The night air was cool and refreshing as they left the bar, but a palpable tension had settled between Logan and Wade. Y/N walked ahead, her steps light and relaxed, still buzzing from the performance and unaware of the tension simmering just behind her. Logan kept his gaze forward, his expression unreadable, hoping Wade might let things slide.

But, of course, he actually had no hope.

Wade slowed his pace, eventually falling into step beside Logan. He cast a sideways glance, lips twitching with a barely concealed grin. "So, Logan…" he began, his tone laced with unmistakable mischief. « What really happened back there?"

Logan exhaled, already bracing himself. "Don’t start, Wade."

"Oh, I’m definitely starting," Wade replied, the teasing edge in his voice unmistakable. He leaned in, keeping his voice low so only Logan could hear. "You jumped up faster than I’ve ever seen you move. Gotta admit, I never thought you would act like that for someone."

Logan’s jaw tightened, and he felt his face grow warmer, an embarrassment creeping up his neck that he hoped wasn’t visible. He didn’t know why but he needed to justify his actions. He had known Wade for years and he knew that whether he was answering or not his questions he just wouldn’t let it go. So, Logan trying to justify something? Well, that was definitely suspicious. "I was just helping her out."

Wade’s grin widened, his eyes practically gleaming. "Interesting… but I just can’t help to come back to this important detail. That guy wasn’t exactly in your line of sight. And yet, somehow, you just ‘happened’ to notice her in trouble." Wade gave him a mockingly thoughtful look. "So, what is it? Are you keeping an eye on her like the protective fierce man that you are or…were you checking her out—"

"Drop it, Wade." Logan shot him a withering glare, his discomfort flaring into frustration.

"Sure, sure…" Wade said, holding up his hands in surrender. But his smirk was relentless, delighting in Logan’s reaction. "I’m just saying, maybe there’s more to this knight-in-shining-armor routine than you’re letting on."

Logan ground his teeth, forcing himself to look away from Wade’s insufferable grin.

Why does he always have to push? he thought.

He could feel the heat rising up his neck, his reaction only fueling Wade’s suspicion, and for once, he wished he could just slip away and leave Wade’s relentless teasing behind.

For Wade, this was gold. He hadn’t seen Logan look this flustered in… well, maybe ever. And the way Logan had bolted from his seat to protect Y/N?! Oh oh, that was not something he was about to let go. In fact, he’d been waiting for something like this, knowing that behind Logan’s guarded demeanor was something he’d been working hard to bury. Wade had noticed, even if Logan hadn’t admitted it yet.

Just as Logan was about to retort, Y/N slowed her pace, looking back at them with a casual smile, blissfully unaware of the silent battle happening behind her. "Oops, sorry! Walked too fast." she said with a laugh. She gave Wade a playful shove on the shoulder. "You were really incredible up there. I want invites to all your gigs from now on."

Wade turned to her, beaming as if he hadn’t just been relentlessly teasing Logan. "Finally, some appreciation! And I’ll keep a special place just for you, beautiful." He winked at her before throwing a quick glance at Logan. "See, at least someone here recognizes real talent."

Logan glared, the weight of Wade’s unspoken insinuations only fueling his simmering frustration.

Great. Now he’s playing innocent.

But he bit back any response, knowing it would only feed Wade’s amusement.

Completely oblivious to the silent exchange, Y/N continued to laugh, shaking her head. "You’re a menace on stage, Wade," she said, grinning. She glanced over at Logan with this wide beautiful smile, and for a moment, he— what the fuck was happening to him.

He just happened to look out for Y/n in a crowded place. That didn’t mean anything right? That shouldn’t mean anything. Friends look out for each other. And they were roommates. Final point. Nothing else. Nada.

And yes he did jump quite fast into action and he would have killed the man if he had hurt her but that didn’t mean anything. That’s just the way he is. He would do that to anyone. Well, maybe not everyone. Maybe Wade. Some of his students— okay, all his students. And Y/N, yes. Because they’re friends.

Friends.

Wade, however, was far from finished. He gave Logan a light nudge as Y/N walked a few paces ahead again, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "What are you thinking about in that big head of yours" he asked, his tone dripping with amusement.

Logan’s frustration simmered, though he did his best to keep his expression neutral. This is what he wants, Logan reminded himself, to get a reaction out of me. But the way Wade’s grin lingered made his composure waver, and Logan could feel the tension building. His mind replayed the moment he’d seen Y/N’s tense expression from across the room, how a fierce protectiveness had overtaken him without a second thought.

He would have killed that man.

Wade leaned closer, his grin widening as he observed Logan’s clenched jaw. "You know, I’ve seen you keep your cool with a lot worse. But the moment she looked like she needed help, there you were. Funny how you seem to care about her more than you let on."

Logan’s voice was quiet. "I was just looking out for her."

"If you say so," Wade smirked, finally retreating but clearly savoring the effect he’d had on Logan.

Y/N turned around, giving both men a warm smile. "You two coming? Or are you planning a secret meeting back there?"

Logan forced a neutral expression, though his mind was still racing with Wade’s comments. "Right behind you," he replied, ignoring the knowing smirk that hadn’t left Wade’s face.

———

The usual playful banter was subdued as they made their way back to the apartment. Logan walked in silence, his mind replaying the night’s events. He hadn’t planned to feel so protective, and he certainly hadn’t planned on Wade dissecting every second of it. He won’t let this go, Logan thought, mentally bracing himself for whatever was coming.

Y/N stifled a yawn as they entered, stretching her arms over her head with a contented sigh. "Alright, I’m heading to bed," she said, smiling. She turned to Wade, her face warm with genuine appreciation. "Seriously, you were amazing tonight, Wade. You have a real gift."

Wade’s face lit up in an exaggerated grin, and he gave a theatrical bow. "Why, thank you, my lady! Always glad to perform for my number one fan."

Y/N laughed, amused by his antics, and then looked over at Logan. "Night, Logan. See you tomorrow."

Logan’s expression softened, his tensed demeanor slipping for a moment. "Night, Y/N."

The words came out gentler than he intended, but he held her gaze for a split second longer than usual. Y/N gave a small wave and retreated to her room, the door clicking shut behind her.

The moment she disappeared, Logan turned to see Wade standing there, arms crossed and smirking as though he’d just uncovered the world’s greatest secret. The mischief in Wade’s eyes was practically shining.

"Go to bed, Bub," Logan muttered, hoping he could somehow slip away unscathed. He made a move to walk past him, but Wade wasn’t about to let that happen.

"Oh no no no," Wade said, stepping into his path, his laughter barely contained. "After all that? After that heroic display tonight?" He crossed his arms, savoring every moment. "You honestly think I’m letting you off easy? ‘Don’t start, Wade’— well, you better believe I’m not stopping.”

Logan groaned inwardly, "Fuck off" he muttered, his frustration evident, though he knew it would only amuse Wade further.

Wade’s grin widened, his eyebrows raised in mock innocence. He shook his head, leaning in as if sharing a great conspiracy. "Come on, Peanut! The whole ‘just looking out for a friend’ thing doesn’t fool me. I mean, Y/N’s completely oblivious, but me? I see what’s going on. You, my friend, are more obvious than you think."

Logan rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the accusation as he shifted uncomfortably. Just ignore him, he told himself, though he knew that was nearly impossible. Wade wasn’t going to let him escape that easily.

Wade’s smirk only grew, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "That protective glare you gave that guy? That’s not how you look out for just any friend. Admit it, Logan—you care about her."

Logan’s jaw tightened, and he forced himself to look away, knowing any reaction would just fuel Wade’s fire. Logan was trying really hard to resist the urge to wipe that smirk off Wade’s face.

"Shut the fuck up, now, will you?" Logan knew there was no way this was going to work. It was his own end of the world. Probably one of his worst nightmares.

Wade clapped him on the shoulder, feigning seriousness as he leaned in, his voice a loud whisper. "Sweet dreams, lover boy."

Logan groaned, flipping him off as he brushed past, Wade’s laughter echoing down the hallway. He could still hear the lingering amusement in Wade’s voice as he headed toward his room, knowing his friend wouldn’t be letting this go anytime soon.

Later, he laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling, Wade’s words still replaying in his mind. Maybe Wade’s right, he admitted to himself, feeling the slightest twinge of something he couldn’t quite name.

They were only roommates.

XXX

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sherewrytes · 29 days ago

Text

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 6

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Taglist: @for-hearthand-home@clp-84@thelightknight21@favvkiki @helightknight21 @dylsw @ria-s-writes @sleepymothafterhours

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Here is another chapter cause I'm still writing out the other fics right now :)

Chapter 6: The Weight of Loss

Y/N’s POV

It’s almost comical how different my life feels when I’m at school compared to when I’m at home. At Pratt, I’m a student, focused, and driven, with an entire future ahead of me. The campus is buzzing with the usual energy—students chatting, the sound of sketch pads flipping, the hum of distant studio lights. But the weight of everything outside these walls presses down on me more with each passing day.

It’s been weeks or days since the breakup with Sukuna.The loss of our relationship feels longer than the time we actually broke up but it feels like the echo of it still reverberates in everything I do. I’m trying to push forward, trying to act like I’m okay, but the reality is… I’m not. I haven’t been okay for a while.

The work in front of me should be enough to distract me. Finals are coming up, and my portfolio still feels like it needs a hundred more hours of attention before it’s anywhere near perfect. But I can’t stop my mind from drifting back to that night—his touch, his voice, the way he looked at me when he left, the pain in his eyes I couldn’t fix.

I sit in one of the studio rooms, surrounded by scraps of fabric and sketches, trying to focus on the design I need to complete for my final project. My hand trembles as I draw out another silhouette. It’s difficult to concentrate, especially when my phone buzzes on the table.

I don’t even need to look to know if it's from Utahime. She’s been checking in on me regularly. She doesn’t understand everything, but she knows enough to ask if I’m okay.

I pick up my phone, hesitating for a moment before responding. Yeah, I’m good. Just a lot of work to get through.

It’s a lie, but I don’t want to burden her with the truth. Everyone has their own problems, and I don’t want to be the one who drags them down.

I scroll through the texts, my heart dropping when I see a message from Toji. It’s just a short note, nothing particularly alarming. Sukuna's in the hospital. He’s okay, but he had a breakdown. You might want to check on him.

I read it three times before I let it sink in.

Sukuna’s in the hospital.

I bite my lip, the sting of old wounds coming back. What’s going on with him? Why does everything feel like it’s falling apart? I don’t even know how I feel anymore. I spent so much time loving him, fighting with him, then pushing him away, only for him to spiral deeper into whatever this is. And now, he’s in the hospital… alone?

I don’t even have the right to care, do I?

I put my phone down, my hands running through my hair as I try to make sense of it all. What should I do?

There’s a knock at the door, and I look up, startled. Utahime enters with a cup of coffee in her hand. She smiles when she sees me but then stops when she notices the look on my face. She doesn’t even need to ask.

“Something’s wrong,” she says gently, placing the coffee down in front of me.

I swallow hard, my throat dry. “Sukuna’s in the hospital,” I say quietly. The words feel so surreal coming out of my mouth.

Utahime doesn’t speak for a moment, just nods, as if she knew this might happen. “You’re thinking about going, aren’t you?” she asks, her voice soft.

I shake my head, my chest tightening. “I don’t even know what I’d say to him, Utahime. I—” I stop, the emotions threatening to spill over. “He played with my feelings, and I let him. I gave him everything, and now... now look at us.”

She sits next to me, her presence comforting. “You don’t have to go to him if you’re not ready,” she says, her hand gently brushing mine. “But don’t ignore what your heart is telling you. Sometimes it’s easy to get lost in anger or pride, but if you care about him, and you think he needs you—maybe you should go. Just to know he’s okay.”

I stare at the coffee in front of me, the steam rising gently. I feel so torn. Part of me wants to throw it all away and run to him, to make things right, but the other part is terrified of what that would mean.

“I’m just… so tired, Utahime. Tired of trying to fix everything,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t think I can keep doing this. I don’t want to keep getting hurt.”

She leans back in her chair, giving me space. “You don’t have to fix him. You just have to decide what’s best for you. It’s okay to care about him, but it’s also okay to take a step back. You don’t owe him anything.”

I nod slowly, but the weight in my chest doesn’t lift. If anything, it feels heavier.

As much as I want to ignore the message, as much as I want to pretend everything’s fine and keep moving forward, I know deep down that the story isn’t finished yet. But the question is, how do I make peace with it? How do I let go of the part of me that still wants him in my life?

I guess I’m going to have to figure it out, even if it hurts.

I stare at the message from Toji, my thumb hovering over the reply button. I could feel the tension building in my chest, the pull to cave in and see him, to check on Sukuna, to offer whatever comfort I could. But I can’t. I won’t.

I text back quickly, trying to keep my answer as firm as possible, even though doubt gnaws at me. Yes. I’m sure.

I put my phone down and take another sip of the coffee Utahime bought for me. The warmth soothes me, but it’s not enough to quell the rising discomfort I feel. Maybe I’m running away from something I should confront, but every time I think about him—about everything that happened—my chest tightens. I know I’m not ready to face him.

Mei Mei sits beside me, her usual confident and laid-back demeanor a welcome distraction. She smiles at me, her eyes bright despite the obvious tension in the air. “I heard you’ve been dealing with some drama,” she teases, nudging my shoulder playfully. “You always seem to attract it, huh?”

I laugh, but it’s hollow. “Yeah, it seems like it. Just trying to get through finals without any more drama.”

She leans back in her chair, clearly not convinced. “If you say so, but I’ve known you long enough to know when something’s bothering you.” She raises an eyebrow. “You’re not fooling anyone. What’s going on?”

I set the coffee down, rubbing my forehead. Mei Mei’s known me for years. She doesn’t give up easily, especially when it comes to stuff I’d rather keep to myself.

“It’s… complicated,” I say, sighing deeply. “Sukuna’s in the hospital.”

Mei Mei’s expression softens. “Hospital? What happened?”

I explain the basics—the fallout from our breakup, his breakdown, and the fact that it seems he’s been spiraling for months. As I talk, it feels like I’m peeling back a layer of myself I’ve been trying to keep hidden.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” I continued, my voice shaking slightly. “But now… I just feel like I made it worse.”

Mei Mei listens, her face serious. When I finish, she doesn’t say anything at first. She just looks at me for a long time, her eyes calculating, like she’s trying to figure something out.

“You can’t keep carrying his weight, Y/N,” she says gently, her tone softer than I expected. “He’s not your responsibility anymore. I get that you care, but sometimes stepping back is the healthiest thing you can do—for both of you.”

I nod, trying to hold it together, but her words sink deep into my chest. I know she’s right. If I keep going back to him, trying to fix things that aren’t mine to fix, I’ll just keep breaking myself in the process. But knowing that doesn’t make the choice any easier.

I reach for my phone again, checking for another message. There’s one from Toji.

Y/N, I know you’re upset. I get it. But you need to understand he’s really struggling. He’s not the same guy anymore. Please, just think about it. He’s not okay.

I feel the weight of the message, the silent plea in his words. It almost makes me want to go. But no. I made my decision.

I turn my phone face down, looking back at Mei Mei. “I’m done with it. I need to focus on my future. On me.”

She smiles, a little proud of me. “Good. It’s about time. You’re a strong woman, Y/N. Don’t forget that.”

I lean back in my chair, feeling the exhaustion from the last few months hit me all at once. Finals are coming, and I don’t have the luxury of letting my emotions run the show anymore. I have to finish this. For me.

But even as I sit there, I can’t ignore the small ache in my heart, the part of me that still cares, that wonders what could have been. For a fleeting moment, I let myself imagine a different reality, one where everything with Sukuna was easier, where we were happy and I didn’t have to make these impossible decisions.

But that’s not my reality. Not anymore.

Toji's POV

I stare at the screen of my phone, Y/N’s last text still lingering in front of me. Yes. I’m sure.

The words hit harder than I expected. I knew she wasn’t going to just drop everything and run to Sukuna, but hearing it from her directly… it stings. She’s shutting him out, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Nothing any of us can do.

I glance over at Sukuna, still out cold in the hospital bed, his breathing steady for now. He’s been through hell these past few days, and I hate to admit it, but I’m worried. Despite all his bullshit, the bravado he puts up like a fucking wall, he’s broken. And it’s not just the aftermath of Jin’s death or the guilt he carries around like a fucking anchor. It’s more than that.

I thought, maybe if Y/N came, it would snap him back. But she’s not coming.

I let out a slow breath, running a hand through my hair. The room feels too quiet now, even with the constant beep of the heart monitor in the background. The silence between me and Sukuna is almost deafening, and I can’t shake the sense of impending disaster that hangs in the air.

I think about what Y/N said—how she couldn’t keep carrying his weight. And part of me gets it. She’s right. I told her before that Sukuna wasn’t the only one who needed to get his shit together, but I guess… I didn’t expect her to walk away. Not like this. Not after everything.

I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if we’d all handled this differently. If we had talked more, not let everything fester. Maybe she wouldn’t have had to make that decision. Maybe Sukuna wouldn’t be lying here, broken and lost. And I wouldn’t be standing here, feeling fucking useless.

Sukuna murmurs in his sleep, his hand twitching slightly, and I look back at him. He looks so different when he’s not putting on that mask. I can see the fear, the guilt, everything he hides away in his waking hours. It’s all on display when he’s vulnerable, like this.

He whispers something under his breath, and I lean in closer, straining to hear him.

“Y/N… I’m sorry…”

His voice cracks, soft and fragile. He doesn’t even know I’m here. Doesn’t know I’m watching him break down piece by piece. But I heard it. He said her name.

It’s fucking killing me to watch him like this.

I stand up, running my hand over my face, trying to shake off the weight of everything. I can’t do this. I can’t fix this. No matter how many times I try to tell myself that this is his fight, not mine, I can’t stop feeling like I’m responsible. We all are.

I check my phone again. Y/N hasn’t replied. I don’t expect her to. She’s made up her mind, and honestly, I don’t know what I would say if she did respond.

All I can do is sit here and wait, hoping that Sukuna pulls himself out of this hole he’s dug. He’s going to need all the help he can get, but I’m not sure I can even be that for him anymore.

I glance back at him one last time before walking out of the room. Whatever happens next is out of our hands. I just hope for his sake, he’s not too far gone to fix it.

I step out of the room, needing some space to breathe, even though the weight of everything is still pressing down on me. My phone buzzes again. Another message from Y/N. I don’t look at it. I can’t. Not right now.

The hallway feels emptier than usual, and I’m just about to sit down when I hear footsteps approaching. I glance up, already knowing who it is before I see their faces. Gojo’s impossible to miss, his presence like a fucking storm in the calm. And right behind him, Geto, walking with that same quiet intensity he always carries. They're holding bags in each hand, the smell of fast food wafting into the air.

Gojo gives me a lazy grin like he's just come back from a fun afternoon instead of dealing with a pile of shit that’s only getting worse.

“Got you something.” He waves the KFC sandwich in the air, the crispy fried chicken peeking out from the wrapper. “Figured you could use something real to eat. You’ve been looking like you’ve been living off hospital snacks.”

I glance at him, but I’m not in the mood for a joke. I just stare at the sandwich for a second before nodding. “Thanks.”

Geto just raises an eyebrow and slides a bottle of cold Coca-Cola into my hand. "It’s cold. Thought you could use a little sweetness with all this shit."

I didn't answer immediately. Instead, I take the sandwich, unwrap it, and take a small bite. The taste is oddly comforting, and for a moment, it feels a little bit of normal. But only for a second. My mind is still a million miles away, locked on Sukuna, on Y/N, on everything that’s been happening. I can’t seem to get a grip.

Gojo leans against the wall casually, clearly unaffected by anything going on, while Geto remains quiet, eyes focused like he’s waiting for me to crack. The silence stretches, uncomfortable in its own way.

"Is he awake?" Gojo asks, breaking the tension, his voice light but his eyes searching mine for an answer.

I take another bite of the sandwich and sigh, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Yeah, but he’s not really there. Talking in his sleep… saying her name. Y/N."

The mention of her name hangs in the air for a moment, and I watch as Gojo’s expression shifts slightly. He doesn’t show it often, but I know he can’t be completely oblivious to what’s happening. Not with how tightly he and Sukuna have been bound, even when things were rough.

“I’m sure he’s just… in his head,” Gojo says after a pause, trying to sound nonchalant but clearly struggling with his own thoughts. “He’s got a lot of shit on his plate.”

Geto’s expression hardens slightly. “He’s not the only one, Gojo. Y/N’s been through her own hell. She’s not just some side character in his story. It’s never been that simple.”

“Yeah, I know,” Gojo mutters, though he doesn’t seem entirely convinced by Geto’s words. He glances back at the door where Sukuna lies, still deep in his own turmoil. “We all know what happened between them. It’s fucked up, but that doesn’t change what he’s going through.”

The words cut through the tension like a blade. I swallow the rest of the sandwich, my stomach growing heavier with the implications of their statements. The more I think about it, the more it feels like we’ve all fucked up in our own ways. We’ve all allowed this to spiral out of control, and now, we’re left picking up the pieces.

“I get that he’s hurting,” I say, voice tight, “but what do we do now? What can we even do? She’s not coming, Gojo. She’s done.”

The words feel bitter in my mouth, even though I know they’re true. Sukuna has lost her, and there’s no going back.

Gojo and Geto exchange a look, the silence dragging on as the weight of the situation settles in. Gojo pops the cap off his own bottle of Coke, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“You just keep pushing forward,” Gojo says after a moment. “You don’t get to wallow in this shit. That’s not how it works, Toji. You just keep moving forward. That's all you can do.”

I’m about to respond when I hear a low murmur coming from Sukuna’s room. The door creaks open slightly, and I glance toward it, the worry clawing at my insides again. Gojo stands up and gives me a pointed look.

“Let’s go see how he’s doing,” he says, voice more serious now, and I can hear the weight of his words.

We all walk to the room, our steps heavy with the unspoken truths we’ve been avoiding. Inside, Sukuna stirs in the bed, his eyes barely open but wide enough to see the panic in his gaze.

“Y/N,” he whispers, almost like a prayer, his hand gripping the bed sheets tightly.

The room feels cold as we stand there, watching him struggle with the demons only he knows. His words hang in the air like a knife, cutting through the silence.

“Maybe we can fix this,” Gojo mutters softly, more to himself than anyone else. "But not like this."

I watch Sukuna’s face, the same man who used to be full of fire and rage, now broken. Maybe Gojo’s right—maybe we keep pushing forward. But even I know, with everything that’s happened, there’s no easy fix to the mess we’ve created.

Sukuna's POV

I’m trapped in the in-between, stuck in the land of the awake but not living. I can hear them talking, but my mind refuses to connect. Every word that escapes their lips feels like a blur, and I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about Y/N or Jin or my own damn self.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor is the only thing grounding me in reality, reminding me that I'm still here, still breathing, even if it feels like everything else is slipping through my fingers. The voices swirl around me, but none of them cut through the fog in my mind. Not even Gojo’s voice, not even Geto’s.

Y/N.

Her name lingers in the air like an echo I can’t escape. It’s all I can think about. How I fucked things up. How I hurt her. How I lost her. I can’t get away from the image of her, standing there in her apartment, looking at me with those eyes—those brown eyes I used to drown in. Eyes that no longer saw me the same. Eyes that were filled with pain.

My stomach churns. I want to scream, but the words catch in my throat.

My younger brothers.

Yuuji. Choso.

I’m supposed to be their older brother. I’m supposed to be strong for them. They’ve lost so much already, and I can’t afford to lose them, too. But if I keep spiraling like this—if I let this guilt eat me alive, if I let my demons drag me under—then what happens to them? What happened to me?

I’m supposed to protect them, but I’m barely holding myself together. I can’t keep breaking like this. I can’t keep letting everything fall apart just because I don’t know how to deal with the shit that’s happened.

I’m supposed to be better. Better for them.

But how? How do I fix this? How do I fix myself when everything feels broken beyond repair?

I hear Gojo again, his voice louder this time. "He's just... lost in his head right now. We can't help him until he helps himself." It’s all I need to hear to understand that I’m not getting any sympathy here. Not from any of them. They know me too well.

And maybe that's what I need.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping to block out the pain. Maybe if I don’t open them, I won’t have to face the reality of what I’ve become. A broken man. A fuck-up.

But the truth is, I can’t run forever. I can’t stay in this fog of regret and self-loathing. I don’t want to be this version of myself. Not for my brothers, not for anyone. I’ve been here too many times before. Spiraling, falling, too afraid to face what’s staring me in the face. I’ve always been this way. But I can’t afford to be anymore.

I can’t let myself be the reason they lose me. Not when I still have a chance to fix it.

I hear Geto’s voice again, softer this time. "Sukuna... we’re here. But you need to come back. Come back to us." His words hit me harder than I expected, and I feel the weight of them pressing down on my chest. Come back to us.

I’m not sure how, but for the first time in what feels like forever, I let myself feel something other than numbness. A crack in the wall I’ve built around myself. A tiny opening to a possibility that maybe—just maybe—I can still get out of this.

But first, I have to face the one thing I’ve been running from.

I have to face myself.

“Y/N,” I whisper to no one in particular, my voice hoarse, rough. "I'm sorry."

I don’t expect anyone to hear it. Hell, I’m not even sure I believe it yet. But it’s the first step. And for now, that’s all I can give.

I open my eyes slowly, squinting at the harsh fluorescent lights above. The hospital room is sterile and unfamiliar, and for a second, I forget where I am. But then it all comes flooding back—the weight of my actions, the destruction I’ve left in my wake, and the realization that I can’t keep hiding from it.

I don't even remember when I said it, but those two words still echo in my mind: I'm sorry. They were the first words I’ve said aloud in what feels like forever, but they carry so much weight. So much guilt.

I sit up slowly, feeling the ache in my chest. I’m not sure if it’s from the panic attack, the guilt, or just the overwhelming sense of being broken. But whatever it is, it makes it hard to breathe, to think. To feel.

Gojo is still here, his presence just as obnoxious as ever. But there's something about him being here that gives me a sense of stability like maybe he doesn’t expect me to be perfect, but he’s still here, regardless. And Geto... Geto is just sitting there, staring at me like he’s waiting for me to get my shit together. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they both are.

“Fuck,” I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "How did I get here?"

Geto looks up from his phone, catching my eye for the first time in what feels like forever. “You’ve been here, Sukuna. You know the drill. You need to pull yourself together, for them.” His voice is calm, but there’s an edge to it. He’s tired, I can tell. We all are.

“Yeah,” I replied, my voice cracking. "For them."

It’s a mantra I’ve been repeating to myself for weeks now—for them. For Yuuji and Choso. They’ve lost so much already, and I can’t be the one to break.

But I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to fix this. How do I rebuild what I’ve destroyed? How do I fix myself when I’m not even sure who I am anymore?

Gojo leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You’re not alone in this, you know.” His words are blunt, but there’s something softer in his eyes. He doesn’t say it often, but I can see it. The understanding.

"I know." I don’t meet his gaze, my eyes locked on the floor. It’s easier that way. “But I still fucked up, Gojo. I messed it all up.”

Geto sighs heavily, shaking his head. "You didn't just mess it up. But that doesn't mean it’s over. You’ve got to take responsibility for it, man. For her... and yourself."

For a moment, I don’t know what to say. The words feel like they’re stuck in my throat. But then I think of Y/N. Her face, her eyes... the way she looked at me when I ruined everything. I see her pain in every single interaction we had before it all came crashing down. I can still feel it. The way she’d retreat from me, the way she’d pull away. And the way I never truly let her in.

"I didn’t mean for it to go like this," I finally whispered. "I never meant to hurt her."

“You need to talk to her, if she’ll allow it” Geto says, standing up and moving closer. “And if she’s willing, maybe... maybe you can fix it. But you have to start with yourself first.”

I feel the weight of his words, like he’s trying to lift me out of the quicksand I’ve been sinking into. But I’m stuck. I’m stuck in the guilt, in the shame, in the regret.

“What if she doesn’t want me back?” I ask, barely above a whisper. "What if I’ve already ruined it too much?"

"You won’t know unless you try," Gojo says, stepping forward. “You can’t undo the past, but you can at least try to make the future better. For her. For you.”

I feel something shift inside me, something small but significant. Maybe it’s hope. Maybe it’s just the desperation that’s been eating away at me. I don’t know. But it’s there, and for the first time, I let myself feel it.

Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe, just maybe, I can start rebuilding—starting with myself. I have to try. For Y/N. For Yuuji. For Choso. For me.

I stand up, feeling the weight of my body shift. My legs feel weak, but I force myself to stay upright. Geto watches me carefully as if waiting for me to collapse, but I don’t. Not this time.

I might not have all the answers, but I know one thing for sure.

I’m done running from it.

“I’ll fix it,” I murmur, barely believing the words myself. But I have to say it. I have to believe it.

For the first time in a long while, I don’t feel so alone. Maybe I’m not as far gone as I thought. Maybe I can still fight my way back from this.

Maybe I can still be the man I used to be.

the nurse filled in, "We tried to contact your emergency contact yn ln but they didnt respond. Do you have anyone who can keep an eye on you?

The nurse’s words hang in the air, thick with unspoken tension. I feel the room grow heavier as they linger, and I find myself grasping for a response. Y/N’s name still feels like a foreign sound on my lips.

I open my mouth to speak, but the words don’t come. What would I even say? She won’t answer me anymore. Not after what I did. The silence stretches between us, suffocating.

"I have—" I start, but the weight of it stops me.

Before I can finish the sentence, Toji speaks up, his voice cutting through the thick air like a knife.

"You can take my information. What do I need to know?"

I look up at him, and for the first time in what feels like days, I feel a bit of relief. Toji, as blunt as he is, never lets me down. He’s been here since the start, and I know, deep down, he’s always had my back, even when I didn’t deserve it.

The nurse nods, taking out her tablet and entering Toji’s information with practiced ease. It’s almost like they’ve done this a thousand times before, and maybe they have. Maybe they’re used to people like me. People who screw up their lives and end up here, needing a reminder that they’re not completely gone yet. That there's still a chance.

But I don’t know if I believe that.

I watch the nurse leave, and the silence settles back into the room like a heavy blanket. Toji stands there, looking at me with something between concern and resignation. He doesn’t need to say anything. I know exactly what he’s thinking.

"Stop blaming yourself," Toji finally says, his voice low, but firm. “You're not in this mess alone, and you’re not gonna fix it overnight. But you’ve gotta stop running from it, or you'll end up buried.”

I can feel his eyes on me, watching for any sign of weakness, but I can’t give him that. I can’t give anyone that. Not after everything.

"I know," I mutter, my voice barely audible.

Toji shrugs and moves to the side, making space in the small hospital room. "We all fucked up, Sukuna. But it’s not the end of the world. You’re still here."

The words settle somewhere deep inside me, somewhere I didn’t even know was still capable of feeling something. I look away, pretending the words don’t hit me the way they do.

But I can’t stop thinking about Y/N.

Her face. Her eyes. How she would look at me when I failed her. The way she pulled away.

I failed her.

But I still want to fix it. God, I want to fix it so badly that it hurts.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that. I’m not sure if it’s even possible. But for the first time in months, I feel like I can try. I have to try.

For me. For her. For everyone I’ve hurt.

“Thanks,” I say to Toji, my voice gruff and unsteady. "For doing this... for me."

He doesn’t respond right away, just gives me a sharp look like he’s waiting for me to crumble again.

But I don’t.

Not this time.

Instead, I stand up slowly, feeling the weight of my legs beneath me. There’s no escape now. No more running from my mistakes. No more hiding. I have to face this.

And maybe... just maybe, I can start with making things right.

For once, I don’t feel like I’m completely drowning. But the battle is far from over.

"I’ll make it right," I say softly to myself, more than to Toji.

The words feel fragile like I’m trying to piece together a shattered mirror. But I have to try.

I won’t be the man I used to be. I can’t go back to that.

But maybe, just maybe, I can be someone worth loving again.

For Y/N. For everyone I’ve hurt.

And for myself.

I’m finally being released from the hospital. The sterile white walls feel like they’re closing in as the nurses hand me a prescription for the medications I’m supposed to take. But I don't care about that right now. I just want to go home. I just want to breathe again.

The ride back to the apartment feels like it takes hours. The air in the car is heavy with the weight of everything I've done, everything I’ve messed up. I haven’t spoken a word the whole way. Toji’s driving, the only sound between us was the soft hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of the road beneath the tires.

When we get to the apartment, I’m not sure what to expect. The door’s wide open when I walk in, and there’s Choso, pacing back and forth. His voice rises, sharp and full of frustration as he glances over at me. His eyes are bloodshot like he hasn’t slept in days, and I know it’s because of me.

"Sukuna!" Choso shouts, throwing his hands up in the air, his face a mix of anger, pain, and worry. “What the hell were you thinking?! You scared the shit out of us, man!”

I flinch at his words, the sting of them going deeper than I want to admit. But I don’t say anything. I don’t have a defense, not for this. I can’t make it better with a few words. So, I stand there, silent, my head hanging low.

Yuuji’s sitting in the corner of the room, his eyes glued to the floor, his friends Megumi and Nobara beside him, looking as stressed as he is. The weight of it all crashes into me. I did this to them. I’ve been selfish, and it’s clear they’re carrying this burden with me.

Yuuji finally looks up, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm glad you're home, bro."

His words don’t hit me like I expect them to. Instead of feeling the relief I thought I’d get from hearing him, I just feel hollow. I’ve caused too much damage to fix it with just a few words. He shouldn't have to say that. I shouldn’t be the one causing him so much pain.

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” I mutter, the bitterness slipping out before I can stop it. "It’s not like I’ve been some fucking good example for you, right?"

Toji steps up beside me, his presence grounding. “That’s enough,” he says, his tone low but firm. “He’s home, and that’s what matters. Stop making this harder than it needs to be.”

Choso doesn’t let up though, his hands on his hips as he glares at me. "You’ve been running from everything, running from us, from yourself. We were worried you were gonna fucking end up dead, and now you’re back, but are you even gonna stay back?"

I want to answer him, to tell him that I’m trying, that I’m going to get better. But I know he won’t believe me. None of them will. Not after everything.

"Look," I say, my voice thick. "I’m sorry. I’ve fucked up, and I can’t fix everything in a day. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere right now."

It’s all I can offer, and I know it’s not enough, but it’s all I’ve got. I can’t be the man I was before. I can’t just wipe away all the mistakes I made with a simple apology. But maybe I can try to be better.

Yuuji stands up slowly and walks over to me. I brace myself, waiting for him to yell, for him to say something harsh. But when he reaches me, he simply pats me on the back, like he’s trying to offer something I don’t deserve.

“It’s good to have you back, Sukuna,” Yuuji says quietly, his voice thick with emotion.

I swallow hard, the lump in my throat growing. I don’t know if I’m crying or not. But it sure feels like it. Maybe this is the first step in making things right. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, for Yuuji, for Choso... and Y/N.

The tears come without warning, falling like a flood. I feel them before I even know they’re coming, a warm rush down my face, blurring my vision. I can’t stop them. Not anymore. I’ve been holding everything in for so long, trying to keep the pieces of myself together, trying to be the strong one for my brothers. But I can’t do it anymore.

My knees give way, and I drop to the floor, the weight of everything—of all the things I’ve lost, of all the things I’ve fucked up—crushing me. My chest aches, tight, like it’s too small to hold all the guilt, all the pain.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter through gritted teeth, though I don’t know if I’m saying it to Choso or Yuuji or even myself. My voice cracks, the rawness of it is unfamiliar and painful. “Jin’s gone because of me... and Grandpa... he’s gone. They’re both gone.”

The tears come faster, like a storm I can’t outrun. I can’t hold it together anymore. Not for anyone. Not for them. Not for myself.

I hear Choso’s footsteps, feel his arms around me as he pulls me up, but I don’t want to be touched. Not right now. I want to crawl into a hole and disappear, to not have to face any of this, to not have to be the one who let them all down.

“Grandpa's funeral,” I whisper, my voice ragged. “Our parents didn’t even show up. They didn’t care. They never did.”

The words sting, but it’s the truth. The truth that I’ve been running from for years. Our parents left us. They abandoned us, and the only one who was there, who gave a shit, was Granpa. And now he’s gone, too.

“I’m tired of holding this in,” I choke out. “I can’t keep pretending to be the fucking strong one. I’m... not strong. I’m broken.”

I look up at Choso, and his face is pale, but his expression is gentle. I can see the hurt in his eyes, but there’s something else there too: understanding. He knows. He knows what it’s like to lose, to feel like you’re drowning in your own shit. And maybe he’s the only one who can truly get it.

I look over at Yuuji, and his face is full of concern. He’s standing in the corner of the room, silent, but I know the words are there, sitting heavy on his tongue. He doesn’t need to say anything, though. The fact that he’s here—just here—means more than words ever could.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” I say, my voice low and broken. “I don’t want to be like this anymore. I don’t want to let everyone down. I don’t want to keep losing people.”

But I’m scared. Scared of what it will take to fix all this. Scared of how much of myself I’ll have to break in the process.

“I’m so fucking tired,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper.

Choso pulls me close, his hands gripping my shoulders as if he can somehow hold me together. “You don’t have to have it all figured out, Sukuna. We’re here. You’re not alone in this. You never were.”

His words hit me like a lifeline, but the truth is, I don’t know if I deserve it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be the person they want me to be.

But I know one thing: I can’t keep drowning in my own shit. I have to try to be better. Even if it’s just for a little while.

I’m home. But the journey to redemption? That’s just the beginning.

#jjk x black reader #sukuna x black reader #sukuna angst #sukuna x female reader #sukuna smut #sukuna #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna #black tumblr #black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #sherewrytes

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tvgals · 2 years ago

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— YOU’RE MY BABY, SAY IT TO ME . °｡⋆⸜

hobie brown x black! fem! spider woman! reader

cw: angsty, angst/no comfort, character death (reader), hobie doesn’t know how to cope, might be a series, brief description of blood/gore (not descriptive)

synopsis- after a brutal fight with a villian from hobie’s universe, hobie is left with a broken heart and the love of his life bleeding out in his arms.

ENJOY!

hobie didn’t know what to do. here you were, in his brittle and shaking arms in the cold, the villian long gone and defeated. his eyes welled with tears, people gathering around to get a better look at the chaos unfolding in front of them. “ey, get back. not your business.” hobie spat from under his mask, waving around his arm to move people back. he heaved you onto his back and swings away, trying to hards to make it to the hospital.

“y/n. are ya awake? stay with me love.” he mumbled, holding the hands that were too limp to support your body weight. “mmm..” you whimpered in pain. hobie could feel your blood seeping through your suit and onto his, and it terrified him. “wake up. need your eyes open.” hobie finally makes it to the hospital, wanting to sob and take all your pain away. he walks into the lobby and gives them the rundown, leaving you there. alone. cold and scared

but that was a year ago, a year since your passing and hobie hasn’t been the same. he always felt as if he could’ve done something to stop it, as if it was all his fault. he keeps everything you left in his room the same, he hasn’t moved anything around since your passing, even opting to fall asleep on the couch. although he hates consistency, he couldn’t hate the feeling of you next to him. the feeling of your presence. he swears he can feel you sometimes. his friends worry about him. they haven’t seen him for months now, not knowing about your tragic death. so once he decided to catch them up on the news, he just — broke.

“all my fault. shoulda got here over there in time. she woulda been here!” his stoic attitude long gone. he physically and mentally couldn’t do it anymore. a piece of him died with you. gwen, miles, and pavitr all huddle around him, giving him reassurance and encouragement. honestly, they didn’t know what to do. they’ve never seen hobie like this before — a fragile and vulnerable mess. “it’s not your fault. there wasn’t anything you could do.” miles says, rubbing hobie’s back. “yes there was. i could’ve stopped it, miles. you should’ve seen her. all bloody and bruised. i wish i could go back, help her and have her with me.” hobie cries, leaning back in his chair. gwen bites her lip before talking.

“technically, there is a way you could go back..” she mumbles, rubbing her forearm. hobie grudge and looks up at gwen, “i’ll take it.”

pt.2 scheduled for tmrw babes

taglist — ;: @theemrsjaeger @jiwooscoffee @sweeet-cloud @kelesisworld @dirtydynamight

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winchesterwild78 · 15 days ago

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Unspoken Words pt 7

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, other characters

Warnings: fluff, a little angst, David’s court date, more fluff

A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This one is about a single mother with a nonverbal autistic daughter who loves Supernatural. The reader is going to a Supernatural Convention with her daughter and things unfold from there. The daughter character is near and dear to my heart. I have someone very close to me who is nonverbal, but he’s such an amazing kid.

*One more chapter after this. Features a time jump or two. *

This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Jensen is single in this story.

All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated.

Minors DNI 18+

*Time Jump 3 months*

After coming back from California I decided to move Lily and I in with Jensen. He was excited I agreed to it. Living with him in California felt perfect, like we were exactly where we were meant to be.

Lily began talking more, and Jensen insisted on paying for a private speech therapist. I told him I was fine with the one she had been going to, but he wanted the best for her.

I quickly realized it was pointless to argue with him about her wellbeing. He stepped into the role of dad without missing a beat. We were a united front when it came to Lily, but he also used his status and money to help fill in gaps.

*Flash Back to the month after we left*

We flew back for the court date for David’s attempted kidnapping. Sarah watched Lily so Jensen and I could go. He was found guilty and sentenced to jail time. There was also a lifetime protective order put in place that prevented him from any contact with Lily, myself or Jensen.

When we came home for the court date I was sick for days. Chalking it up to nerves, I did my best to ignore it. After a few days and heading back to California Jensen started to get more concerned.

“Baby, you’ve been sick since before we went to court. Maybe you should go to the doctor.” He was right, I knew he was. I was just being stubborn.

“I can’t just drop what I’m doing and go to the doctor for a little bug. It’ll pass. It always does.”

Jensen just looked at me, “Baby, please. I’m worried about you. I’ll keep Lily and you go see Dr. Pickard. Please.” I sighed, “Okay. I’ll make an appointment.”

The next day I was sitting in the doctor’s office. I checked in and sat in the lobby. A young woman was sitting to the left of me and kept looking at me. I just wanted to get in and out without issues or being recognized.

The young woman leaned forward. I knew what was coming. “Excuse me, ma’am?” I turned and smiled, “Yes?” “I’m sorry to bother you, but are you dating Jensen Ackles?” I nodded, “Yes I am.” She grinned, “I thought that was you. It’s very nice to meet you. My name is Mary. Are you two getting married?” “It’s nice to meet you too, Mary, and I don’t know. He hasn’t asked, so I’m going to say no. Not right now.” “Oh, okay. Well maybe he will soon.” I smiled as my name was called, “Maybe. We haven’t been dating long, so we have time. You have a great day, Mary.”

I walked to the back with the nurse and explained why I was there. She told me the doctor would be in soon and would let me know if any tests would be needed. I nodded and she left.

Sitting in the room I felt really dizzy and sick. Dr Pickard came in and noticed I was sweating and was pale. “Ms Y/L/N, are you okay?” “No, I feel really dizzy and sick to my stomach.”

She checked me over and asked some questions. “Okay, let me run some tests. The nurse will be in soon and take some blood, do some swabs for the flu and other illnesses, and we need to check for pregnancy.”

I chuckled, “Wow, just checking everything, huh?” Dr Pickard looked at me, “Just trying to be thorough.” She left the room and the nurse came back in a few minutes later. They took my blood, she swabbed my nose and throat and had me pee in a cup.

“I’m gonna run all this to the lab, we should have the results for everything except the blood work before you leave today. The doctor will be back shortly.” I nodded and thanked her. I pulled out my phone and sent Jensen a text.

Me: I’ve been poked, prodded and swabbed. Waiting on some of the results. I’m being checked for flu or other things. I’ll keep you updated. How are you and Lily?

Jensen: Okay, hopefully they figure it out soon. I’m really worried about you, and we are fine. *1 image sent*

Jensen sent a picture of him with a princess tiara on and Lily in her princess dress. I laughed.

Me: aww look at the pretty princesses. I love you two

Jensen: We love you too, mommy. Come home soon.

Me: I will. TTYS

After about twenty minutes Dr Pickard came back in. “Well, Ms Y/L/N, you don’t have the flu or strep, your iron is a bit low and you're a little dehydrated, and you’re pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, what? I’m pregnant? How did that happen?” She chuckled, “Um, I’m assuming you and your partner had sex. Maybe unprotected?” I sat thinking, no, Jensen and I were always so… “Oh, yeah. That one time over a month ago.” She chuckled, “That’s all it takes. So I’m prescribing some prenatal vitamins and I want you to schedule an appointment to get the baby checked.”

“Okay. Thank you for everything.” My heart beat fast in my chest. I was pregnant. Jensen was the father. Would he be okay with this? We never really talked about children. How would Lily handle this?

My head was spinning by the time I got home. Jensen greeted me at the door with a hug and a smile. He saw the bag from the pharmacy and smiled. “So I see you have some medicine. I’m assuming the doctor found something?”

I took a deep breath, “Yeah she did. Jensen, we need to talk.” He sat down beside me and took my hands in his, “Okay baby. Is everything okay?”

With a shaky breath I looked at him, “Jensen, I’m okay. She didn’t find anything devastating, but what she did find is going to change our lives.”

Jensen looked at me, eyes so full of love, “Okay, now you’re scaring me. Y/N, please just tell me.”

Tears pricked my eyes, I was so scared. “Jensen, I’m pregnant.” He softly gasped. Silence filled the room and I didn’t know what to say or do.

The longer the silence stretched on, the more anxious I got. I swallowed hard, and the tears started to fall.

“Jensen, please say something.” His voice barely above a whisper, “You’re pregnant?” I nodded. “Jensen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get pregnant. I know this isn’t something we talked about and I understand if you’re not ready. Lily and I can stay at our place and I won’t keep the baby from you if that’s what you want. I think Lily and I should go home. I’m so sorry Jensen.”

I stood up quickly and walked towards the bedroom. The tears fell fast as I felt the bile rise in my throat. I walked into our bedroom and grabbed my suitcase. Jensen was hot on my heels. He grabbed my hand and spun me around. His lips crashed on mine in a heated kiss.

I was shocked. When he pulled back he was smiling. “You’re pregnant. We’re having a baby!.” “Jensen, you’re not mad?” “What?! Why would I be mad? The love of my life is pregnant with our baby. Lily’s going to have a baby brother or sister. Oh sweetheart, please don’t leave. I want to be with you every step of the way.”

I cried harder. I wasn’t expecting his reaction. He pulled me in his arms, “Shh baby. Don’t cry, please. I love you and I can’t wait to have this baby with you. I know you’ve been hurt in the past, but I promise I’m not going anywhere. You, Lily and this baby have me forever.” He wiped my tears away and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

His hand rested on my stomach and he smiled. “I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am.” I took a shaky breath in and out, letting go of all the anxiety I was feeling.

*Current Time*

I was heading to my doctor's appointment to check on the baby and Jensen was going with me. We had been back home in Texas for about a month and Lily and I were adjusting to living with Jensen.

I was worried she would have a hard time adjusting to the new house, but she loved it. Jensen made sure he put a gate around the pool, and a safety cover on the pool just in case. He also had her a swing set built in the backyard. They both spent a lot of time outside in the backyard playing. I couldn’t wait for the baby to be old enough to play with Lily and Jensen.

I stood at the full-length mirror in our bedroom and placed a hand on my belly. I was just starting to show more and I knew we couldn’t hide the pregnancy much longer. My biggest worry was telling Lily. I wasn’t sure how she’d react.

Sarah and Steve knew I was pregnant. They were excited for us. The two of them were coming over to watch Lily while Jensen and I went to the doctor.

I was too busy looking at my growing bump to notice Jensen standing at the door. He leaned against the doorframe and watched me with a smile on his face.

He walked up behind me and snaked his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my belly. He kissed my cheek, “How’s my babies today?” I smiled and leaned into him, “We’re okay. I’m hungry, but what else is new.” He laughed, “We’ll get you a snack before we head out. What do you want?”

“Hmm, pickles, peanut butter and apples sound delicious.” He chuckled, “Okay. I’ll get it and you finish getting ready.” I kissed his lips, “Thanks baby.” He nodded and smiled.

Lily knew something was different, but we hadn’t told her yet I was pregnant. We wanted to make sure everything was okay with the baby before we told her. The appointment today was going to include an ultrasound and measurement of the baby. I was about 3 months pregnant and so far the pregnancy was going well.

Jensen was by my side through it all. He was in between filming schedules at the moment, so he was home. I knew he was leaving in about 3 weeks to head to Toronto for filming. We weren’t sure if Lily and I were going or staying home, honestly it depends on what the doctor told us.

Sarah and Steve arrived to watch Lily and Jensen and I were about to leave to go to the appointment. I was nervous but excited. This would be the first ultrasound and I was happy Jensen was going to be there for it.

Sarah gave me a hug and told me she couldn’t wait to see the baby when we got back. Lily looked at me and Sarah and whispered, “baby?”

I looked at Sarah and she mouthed, “sorry”. I just nodded.

I took a deep breath and sat Lily down. Jensen sat beside her. “Lily, sweetheart. Mommy and Jensen have something we want to tell you. You know how mommy has been sick and going to the doctor a lot? Well, mommy has a baby in her tummy. You’re going to be a big sister.”

Lily sat beside Jensen and I very still. She looked up at me, then down to my stomach, then up at Jensen. Tears filled her little eyes and she started to cry. I pulled her on my lap but she wiggled free and went to her room.

I started to follow her, but Sarah told me she’d go so we weren’t late. I wanted to go and see her, but I had to get to the appointment too.

“Y/N, honey. I’ll take care of her. You go check on the little bean.” I nodded and Jensen and I left.

The ride to the doctor’s office was quiet. I was worried about Lily and felt a pang of guilt for leaving like I did. Jensen sensed my uneasiness and took my hand in his.

“Hey, she’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath.” “I know Jensen, she was just so upset and I left. What kind of mother does that?”

“Y/N, don’t do that. You’re an amazing mother. Lily is safe with Sarah, and we had to get to this appointment. I know you’re upset, but she’s going to be okay, I promise.”

I nodded and wiped the tears that started to fall away. We arrived at the doctor’s office and got checked in.

The nurse checked my vitals and everything she needed to do. She asked how I’d been and told me the doctor would be in soon. Jensen stood beside the exam table and held my hand.

The doctor came in, did their exam and got me ready for the ultrasound.

I was so excited and nervous to see the baby. She put the gel on my belly and commented that she was surprised I was showing as much as I was. I thought it was an odd statement to make, but brushed it off as my eyes were glued to the monitor.

The doctor had a puzzled look on their face and kept looking at the monitor with an unreadable look on their face. I started to get nervous. “Hmm, that’s interesting.”

I looked at her and then at Jensen. He saw my distress, “What’s interesting?” He asked her. “One second, let me just check one more thing. Hmm, yep. Okay.”

Jensen looked at the screen, at her and then at me, “Is everything okay with the baby?” I started to panic a little because I wasn’t hearing a heartbeat. “Why don’t I hear a heartbeat?! Jensen, what’s wrong with the baby?!”

The doctor turned to us and offered a soft smile. I felt the bile rising in my throat. She flipped a switch on the machine and I heard the heartbeat. I let out the breath I was holding.

“Everything looks great. The heartbeats are strong and it looks like growth is on target. You both can relax. It looks like both of them are perfectly healthy.”

Jensen leaned down and kissed me and I turned back to the doctor to thank her, then it hit both of us. “Wait, what?! Heartbeats? Both?” She chuckled, “Congratulations, you’re having twins, and from the looks of it they are fraternal.”

Jensen chuckled, “Wow, we’re adding two babies to the family.” He kissed me again. I was filled with joy and then a wave of anxiety hit me. I was worried how Lily would handle the news of twins.

The doctor gave us pictures and we made our next appointment. I couldn’t take my eyes off the pictures. I clearly saw two babies in the pictures.

On the way home my hand rested on my stomach as my mind drifted to what life would be like with three children.

“Whatcha thinking about darlin’?” Jensen asked, breaking the silence in the car. “Just the babies and Lily. I don’t know how she’s going to feel about two babies. I’m just worried about her.”

He took my hand, “Hey, I get it. It might be hard for her at first, but she’s going to be a great big sister. When Mackenzie was born I wasn’t thrilled at first, but after a bit I loved her and protected her. Lily is going to be the same way.” “I hope so.”

When we got home We shared the news with Sarah and Steve and they both were excited. I asked Sarah where Lily was and she said in her room. “I talked to her, but I don’t know if it did any good. I’m sorry Y/N.”

I touched her arm, “No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. We will talk to her. Thank you both for watching her.”

Sarah nodded, hugged me goodbye and she and Steve left. I walked to Lily’s bedroom door and found her sitting on her bed holding her squirrel stuffy.

I walked in and sat on the bed, “Lily, honey, we’re home. Do you want to see a picture of the baby?” She turned her back to me. It broke my heart. I touched her arm, “Baby, look at mommy, please.”

She turned away and grunted at me. Jensen walked in and saw it. He walked up to me, touched my shoulder and motioned for me to come on. I looked at Lily and then back at him. I got up and left her room.

I started crying, “She’s so mad at me, Jensen. What am I going to do?” He pulled me in his arms and held me, “Hey, it’s okay. You get a snack and rest, I’ll talk to her.” I nodded and walked downstairs.

Jensen walked in her room and sat on the bed, “Hey baby girl. Will you look at me?” She turned further away. He put his hand on her shoulder, “Hey, Lily girl. Please look at me.”

She slowly rolled over and looked at him. Her big beautiful eyes red from crying. “No love Lily.” Jensen’s heart broke. He immediately pulled her in his lap and held her tight, “Oh sweet girl, no. Just because mommy is having a baby doesn’t mean we don’t love you anymore. We will always love our Lily girl. You’re our first baby, our first princess. We love you and love the new baby too. Just like you can love mommy and love me.”

She looked up at him and he wiped her tears away. “Love Lily?” “Of course we do. Forever and always. Do you want to see a picture of the baby?” She cautiously nodded. Jensen pulled out the ultrasound picture he had and showed Lily. “So, Lily, mommy has two babies in her belly. We don’t know if they are boys or girls, but there are two of them.” She smiled and held the picture looking it over. “Babies?” Jensen chuckled, “Yes, babies.”

She climbed out of his lap and ran to her closet. When she came back over she had a duck toy and handed it to Jensen, “For baby.” Jensen smiled and kissed the top of her head, “Come on sweet girl, let’s give it to mommy.”

Jensen carried Lily downstairs and to me. She hugged me and handed me the duck. I was a little confused. “She said it’s for the babies.” I smiled and nodded.

Lily sat beside me and looked at my belly. “Babies?” I placed my hand on my stomach, “Yes, mommy has two babies in her belly.” Lily looked at Jensen and then back at me. She slid closer to me, placed her hand softly on my stomach and then leaned down and kissed my belly.

My breath hitched and I looked at Jensen. He smiled and said, “See I told you, best big sister ever.”

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oakbuggy · 1 year ago

Text

Liar, Liar Chapter 4

Recom!Neteyam x female OC

Summary : Tala of the Tawkami gets captured by a familiar face and to both of their misfortune, they are trapped together due to circumstance. They are extremely vexed by this and each other and also very horny.

Warnings: Minors DNI, non-con+dub-con, explicit smut, dirty talk, authority, power struggle, mentions+depictions of blood, minor violence, character death, marking, biting, scenting, ANGST

!! Each chapter will have images throughout the chapter, only the AO3 will have the NSFW-uncensored versions. Please keep this in mind as you read !!

Chapter 4 (NSFW) ~9.8k words

AO3 Link Here!

Prev Chapter / Next Chapter

Tala unceremoniously woke up in her cell, her body completely sore and wrecked, and no memory of how she got back. She endured hours of self-pitying and Orlek’an’s intense questioning of what happened and if she was okay and yes, the sex was extremely good and she didn’t want to think about it anymore.

Her next sessions in the lab were more bearable, a silver lining of pleasantries was included in each meeting. Patty had also surprisingly apologized and ‘gifted’ the Tawkami with her own starched white lab coat, filled with pockets.

Well, it was less of a gift and more of a ‘all the bites and marks on your body are making us uncomfortable so please wear this piece of clothing’-type offering. Tala did question why not they just look away but she couldn't necessarily blame them, the soldier wasn’t very gentle with his ‘playing’. She had also been spared embarrassment and given a replacement tewng, but this one was so strange. It was a tawtute piece of clothing, underwear that dug into her hips a bit, an ugly grey color. Still, better than the shreds Neteyam had left her with.

Scientists trusted her more and allowed her closer to materials. So much closer that she was able to build up her own collection, including a paralyzing agent to coat Orlek’an’s crude darts and needles with. The pockets were like godsend.

The only one who didn’t trust her any more in the time she’s been here was unsurprisingly and so frustratingly, Corporal Tom.

He dragged her away at careless hours of the day and night since then, to the quiet and somewhat disturbed acceptance of all the scientists and Patty. Every kiss was wounding, every touch was rough, and his steadfast meanness was grating on Tala’s resilience.

And by Eywa, so was his stamina. Any peak she caught of the soldier in the hallways made her scowl. While each step made her wince and tremble, oh no, perfection himself had the swagger of a palulukan prowling their territory.

He’d come to find her every few or so days, so Tala took these breaks as little gifts from Eywa. Hidden in high corners, hallways, and window corners, she would etch clues of the prophesied danger. ‘Tsefta’ Eywa’ [Eywa’s Revenge], she wrote. Vrrteps could translate it, true, but the People would know it was a warning, a true sign. Even if Tala got caught, the rest would follow in spreading the message, though she obviously hoped this wouldn’t happen.

A few days passed, it was no worry. The few days stretched into a week and she still hadn’t seen neither boot nor tail of him. Not that she was worried.

Not that she missed him, Great Mother, she’ll poison herself before she ever admits that.

“Haven’t seen Corporal Tom in a minute, he… alright?” Dr. Hanson said awkwardly as the two of them waited for the droid to bring out the next sample. Tala snorted, how would she know?

Patty knew. “He sick.”

The Tawkami proudly fought the urge to twist her body at a breakneck speed to interrogate the guard but her shoulders did tense. He’s never been sick, and, extreme headaches aside, he was all the makings of a healthy and hardy soldier.

Dr. Hanson spotted Tala’s pinched focus on the table, so he took pity and asked for her.

“Sick with what?”

Patty shrugged.

“Ramirez spotted him hiding out in his room and the medics are salty ‘cause apparently, that’s just ‘what he does’ instead of going to them.” The guard explained, picking dirt from underneath her nails which only got a scolding from the other scientists. Tala could feel her ears perking up, intrigued, but she kept her mouth shut and her eyes focused on the plant material before her. It wasn’t any of her business, even if she burnt for answers.

Before her was a cluster of hardened plant sap and crystals before her, golden, and still connected to violet tree bark. Previous thoughts of the Corporal were quickly replaced by delight.

“Oh. This is… sweet thing. Honey.” She replied in her simple English, and Dr. Hanson’s previously unreadable expression broke when his eyebrows shot up.

“Honey? So, just edible, no medicinal properties?”

Tala smiled and quickly swiped a tiny crystal to taste, causing the scientists around the table to squawk.

“What are you doing!”

“H-hey!”

“Spit it out!”

Tala let it melt on her tongue, smiling cheekily. “Properties… makes other medicine easier to eat.” She said with a giggle and pushed the cluster towards the tawtutes. They eyed each other before shaking their heads, deciding to input their observations instead. She shrugged, savoring the sweet, tart, taste, the flavor like a melody on her taste buds. It’s been so long since she’s really tasted anything besides those miserable dry bricks of vitamins. As she licked her fingers clean she remembered something.

He liked honey when they were younger, didn’t he?

Tala blew some dark strands out of her face, eyelashes fluttering like a tizzy and she paused. Her green eyes snapped up to see Dr. Hanson’s extremely observant and bespectacled brown ones.

She felt her cheeks heat up, Great Mother, how affection-starved was she to consider Neteyam’s continued absence discomforting?

She blinked twice before smiling, pointing her ears down as if bashful. “You’re staring very hard, it embarrasses me.” She teased and puffed up internally when he sputtered.

Dr. Hanson sheepishly looked down and with a glance around the room, pushed the honey cluster towards her.

“You can have it.”

“Really?”

“Well, I think honey’s a small price to pay for saving my life.”He said with a small smile. He straightened up nervously but Tala delightedly leaned across the table close to his face. She blinked prettily at him and smiled, her nose almost touching the glass of his exo-pack.

“I think you just like me!” She said delightedly and carefully placed the little cluster in her pockets, licking her fingers. When the tawtute’s face flushed, Tala smiled to herself. She was far more used to this sort of reaction. Not Corporal Tom’s indifference tinged in distaste.

She grimaced suddenly when the sweetness on her fingers made her feel so terribly homesick.

She missed her medical alcove, the crunch of grass as she walked, and the smell of everything in the air. She didn’t miss the raids, nor the trepidation she felt every time she awaited her friends to return from their own missions.

But now because of one single prick, she was forced into a new normal. Tala was sure he saw it as Eywa’s strange sense of humor that he was burdened to come find her for his aching head. Both the one on his shoulders and the one between his legs.

The mark on her neck stayed ever deep and ever sore. And yet despite the evidence of his outright obsession, which Tala felt like she was running in circles in making him admit, his bruising indifference was prevailing. The tranquil seed in her back fangs didn’t feel like enough to get back at him for, not by a long shot.

The mechanical doors whirred open and already her mouth poised to snark at the corporal for his absence, but the face she saw was much uglier than she was expecting. Corporal Halloway smiled broadly, to her chagrin, and noisily stomped into the lab, arms wide open.

“Hey there eggheads, and Private!” Corporal Halloway walked into the room with the confidence of a man who was not sporting a healing black eye. The disgust replaced shock when he grabbed her chin, making her hiss.

“Aw, hey to you too, sweetheart. Still mad?” He asked with mocking kindness. A hazmat-suited scientist guffawed from the corner.

“Your black eye looks like it’s healing well.” They said in the back smugly. The corporal flipped them off and fingered through Tala’s braids roughly until he found her kuru and pulled it harshly to get her feet. She shouted from the pain and her legs bumped painfully against the side of the table.

“Not feelin’ like talking to the eggheads today. How about you and I get some privacy?” Corporal Halloway said heatedly, eyes dangerously gleaming. She grimaced and the rest rose to their feet as well.

“You can’t-“

“We’re in the middle of-!”

“Hey-!”

The corporal leaned over Dr. Hanson in a way that made the scientist step back and strain his neck. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to and even Patty was shifting her eyes in apology.

After a few seconds of tense silence, he suddenly laughed.

“Thought so,” Halloway said and quickly dragged Tala out of Lab 12. In the narrow halls, he dug his dirty nails into her hip.

“Hurts.” She tried to say without hissing but her revulsion peaked through too obviously. His loud boot stomps echoed along the floor, her own feet skidding along. He had dragged her out so quickly that thankfully her inhibitor cuffs were still unlinked, but who knew how long that would last?

“You don’t seem to mind when it’s the big blue boy scout doin’ the hurtin’.”

Her nose scrunched up. Maybe her reaction was a touch dramatic because the Recom barked a laugh loud and hard, so pleased.

“What, you don’t like him either? That’s a shame, I think you’re his favorite.” His eyes looked strange when he said that last word. Tala didn’t like that, didn’t like him, for some reason, she felt like something more dire than a disappointing fuck was awaiting her and her mouth felt dry. His gaze right after he kicked her to the floor was so… intense. Scary.

The sour aftertaste of honey stuck to her tongue.

Corporal Halloway nearly dislocated her arm when they made a turn into an unfamiliar set of hallways. While Tala appreciated the new addition to her mental map of the facility, the pit in her stomach grew. Just weeks ago she was fine with Halloway’s advances, but now he seemed even more disgusting an option. His already awfully-stale smell was mixed with blood and gunpowder, smoke. He had returned recently from battle.

Tala’s green eyes worriedly darted around, the empty metal passages, the corporal’s face that towered over her with an unsettlingly friendly smile, and his gun still holstered on his harness. She had forgotten that despite his harshness, ill-treatment, and manhandling, Corporal Tom never acted with an intent to kill her, not really. Corporal Tom cursed and used her, but he was at least reliant on her, even if he hated it.

Tala avoided making any further eye contact with Halloway. She knew that looking into them would only set off more dread.

–

Neteyam could smell her before he could hear her and at first he thought those whiffs of honey and rose were only his delusion.

His body was sore, his bedsheets were covered in his sweat and he huffed, vexed at the thought of her.

A simple mission turned out to have much more annoying consequences than Neteyam had expected. It was a simple raze and redevelop; Raze the ground and redevelop for more RDA bases. More Bridgeheads.

The roads were developed but on this side of the moon, barely inhabited. Most fled, the few warriors the na’vi were more focused on evacuating the many young they traveled with, which the Omaticayan thought was so outrageously reckless of them. How could one think to travel with so many helpless clan members in the open? How could they let themselves be targeted like that?

Neteyam’s scope remained fixed on grown warriors, knives and bows in their calloused hands. Halloway’s accursed chuckles from his throat comm about ‘easy pickings’ made his jaw tense.

But his headaches and mind soothed with each shot he, as a soldier, took. Perfect, accurate.

The battle was barely worthy to be called such. His migraine returned to manageable levels, his supplies were hardly dented and when Quaritch recalled the team to the center of the field Neteyam saw no movement.

The arrow shot at Neteyam’s clavicle was surprising, to say the least. He had seen the half-dead na’vi on the ground, her arm still in the air, and the both of them dropped onto the grass to bleed out.

Visceral shadows of sensation coursed through his body as he bled out, it prickled muscle memories that he didn’t know where from. Had he bled out before? His scars felt like they glowed red-hot but he had enough sense to apply emergency care and pressure to staunch the bleeding.

“Tom down, requesting extraction.” He hissed into his throat-comm and he knew he was conscious as another squad member arrived and dragged him back to the helicopters. He knew he was awake when the Colonel asked for his condition, of which he answered positively, and Halloway painfully clapped his hand on his back like a dickhead.

And maybe Neteyam was awake when Quaritch then told him to report to medbay and Neteyam instead went back to the darkness of his private quarters, deciding he’d rather hunker down and tend to himself. He had made his own collection of RDA medical supplies inside his room, increasingly avoiding any medical staff if he could.

He didn’t know why he did. He just never wanted them to touch him, never to set him inside one of those chambers.

Neteyam, still in bed, looked down at the haphazard bandages awkwardly applied around himself to cover his clavicle and the dried blood on his mattress. Ah, yes. After he got shot, he developed a fever and continued to seclude himself.

He groaned when he realized he could still catch her scent, still provoking him and perplexing him. It must have been days, how did she always manage to worm her way into his thoughts? She confounded him, which was precisely why he avoided seeing her. Neteyam needed actual strength every time he saw her, or else he’d end up falling for her cloying words or stabbing her dead, it was for both their sakes really. He kept her distant even despite their intimate closeness, kept her screaming with his fingers instead of letting her poke her away around his mind with careful touches. He kept her shut up with kisses that made them both taste blood because even if he couldn’t stand her, his feet would take him to Lab 12 and back in the sights of her infuriatingly pretty green eyes.

Damn her. And damn Eywa, for making him reliant on her, he could feel the veins on his forehead pulse and it felt like gunshots were hammering away in his head. He was fine before he found her.

Halloway’s barking laughter was so loud Neteyam could hear it through his door and thankfully he harbored absolutely no goodwill towards that irritating person. He regarded his fellow Corporal with the barest respect, he was more cruel than he had to be on the battlefield. It bristled against Neteyam’s previous warrior sensibilities, he would definitely have considered Halloway dishonorable.

Neteyam shot up in his bed as the pieces of his mind finally clicked together. Halloway and Tala?

The soldier walked to his door with minor difficulty and it hummed fully open. There was Halloway, lecherously draped around Tala, leading her through the soldiers’ living quarters. Her tail was swishing anxiously.

Neteyam glowered when the two of them turned towards him but all he was focused on was Halloway’s hand squeezing her ass through her lab coat.

Her fucking pert, round ass he’d watched bounce on him just a week before-fuck. His nose wrinkled, he didn’t feel like sharing.

“Get over here.” Neteyam’s voice rumbled through his chest dangerously low, not acknowledging his fellow squad member. Tala blinked her stupid pretty eyes and she cautiously leaned her weight forward, toward Neteyam. The soldier above her kept her still.

“Hey sunshine, you finally awake? How you feeling, big guy?” Corporal Halloway greeted him, friendly, but when he adjusted his grip on Tala to kiss into her hair she could feel the temperature drop as Neteyam’s pupils turned to pinpricks

“Fine. How’s your eye?” The snark in Neteyam’s voice felt too personal and the way Halloway’s pulse quickened made Tala immediately look back up his face, the black eye. He did that?

“Cute. I’m gonna go get my dick wet now, you can have her when I’m done. But, uh, I wouldn’t wait.” The Recom said dryly, winking, and began dragging Tala back to their original destination. Neteyam’s growl was enough to get everyone to freeze and Halloway faced him again, she could see Neteyam’s knuckles turn white.

The Tawkami na’vi thought quickly, a second option had become available to her and though she loathed to admit, Neteyam was by far more attractive. As an option.

She discreetly rolled the thinnest of Orlek’an’s crude darts at the bottom of her lab pockets with her thumb and finger. The Anurai woman had taught her some new tricks and Tala’s tongue ran over the tranquil seed still tucked securely in her back fangs, another option if things went awry.

She could do this.

Tala pressed herself firmly onto Halloway’s arm and let him feel the contours of her body through her closed lab coat. Both soldiers’ ears perked up, alarmed. She fluttered her eyelashes up at Halloway coquettishly while ignoring the holes she felt burning on the side of her head.

“Can we go already~?” She whispered with a small whine, and Neteyam could feel his fever spreading tenfold down his fucking bloodstream what the fuc-

Halloway’s eyebrows shot up and the wolfish grin on his face was so immense Neteyam considered kicking his teeth in. Halloway turned to him, dramatically shrugging.

“You heard the little lady.” He said before picking Tala up, she tried to hide her yelp as a squeal of delight. When her eyes caught Neteyam’s unreadable yet simultaneously rageful expression Tala tilted her head and smiled innocently, her tail flicking lazily behind her.

He looked so stupid, what was he all angry for? Adorable.

The Omaticayan was losing his mind, his scowl was deep and he huffed when Tala smiled. When the door shut, he bruisingly hit the side of his fist against the wall. Yomioang [chalice plant], he couldn’t have picked a better plant for her, she seemed all too fine with ensnaring whoever she could with her nectar and it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Neteyam felt all too much like the stupid boy he’d acted around Tala when they had first met as children. Pretty flowers, sweet scents, he wanted to murder something.

Tala wondered if she had gone too far, seeing the way the male na’vi’s back muscles flexed, tight. His hair had whipped away from her so dramatically. But her attention was demanded when Halloway punched in the code for his private quarters and nearly threw her in his bed.

The smell overwhelmed her, and so did he as he immediately ripped her coat open, groaning at the sight of her in this grey underwear. He grabbed at her hips and pawed at her breasts, and Tala obliged despite feeling her skin crawl.

“Finally got you all to myself. Come here, sweetheart…” *He breathed into her darker blue skin as she held the crude needle in her palm. She sighed breathily and arched her back to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

Halloway started to laugh. “Don’t worry I’m not going anywhe-ERK!” Halloway’s body nearly suffocated her as it fell on her diaphragm, heavy as a rock. She quickly pulled out the needle from the space near his adam’s apple, just as Orlek’an had taught her. A new trick, just to cause a fainting spell.

Tala blew more dark strands of hair away from her face as she poked him hard a few times and checked if he was still breathing. He was out cold and Tala nodded to herself, impressed. She would need to ask the Anurai woman to teach her more, though she did also offer a quick prayer to Eywa that she hadn’t just killed him.

After some major effort, Tala rolled the soldier off of her, bit into his skin here and there despite the revulsed reaction it brought to her tongue, and scampered quietly to Neteyam’s door.

She knocked. Nothing. She knocked again, louder.

A crack opened and even from the tiny space, Tala could confirm what she thought she had smelled earlier: dry blood.

She could see Neteyam's bright golden irises blaze at her through the crack and she beamed at him.

“Missed me?”

The door quickly shut and she made the brilliant decision of letting Neteyam nearly break her toes as she tried to stop it. She bit her lips and hissed in pain. Neteyam smiled, almost amused.

“Ow!! Really?” She whisper-shouted to him, feeling extremely vulnerable out in the bright hallways of Bridgehead.

“What did you do to him?” Neteyam asked, eyes flicking to Halloway’s door. Tala rolled her eyes. “He’s fine, he’s just taking a little nap.” She grumbled and attempted to get further inside by squeezing her arm in now, the door digging painfully into her tit as she tried to force her way through.

“You told me to get over here, didn’t you? I had to think of something.” She huffed.

“You looked like you were enjoying yourself.” He kept his hand firmly against the door, though her efforts amused him. He kept enjoying the view of her breast squeezed, her lab coat now open, he let his eyes rake through her exposed figure.

“Toys have to look like they want to play if they want to survive, adorable warrior.” The tease in her voice died when Tala’s nose scrunched, the smell of sickness apparent on him. “Let me in, you’re hurt.”

Neteyam quirked his brow but relented, not wanting the two of them to get caught by anyone.

Tala entered and immediately re-examined him. His striped body was covered in a light sheen of sweat and pale, She noted a mass, of bandages she assumed, protruding from underneath his black, tight shirt, around his right-side clavicle. When her hands reached out he pushed it away.

“Show me your pockets.”

“What?” Tala’s ears folded back. Neteyam raised his brows as if his request was predictable and she was the one being unreasonable.

“How did you ‘make him sleep’, Tala?” He said, a slight growl to emphasize his soberness.

Tala made a face. This wasn’t cute.

“How do I make you sleep, Neteyam?” She replied, a challenging swish in her tail. She crossed her arms, they stared at each other in silence, his mouth was set in a hard line.

They stared.

Neteyam lurched forward and dug his hand into her pockets himself.

“You-!”

He pulled back only to reveal fingers covered in sticky and spiky clusters of honey. Tala’s heart had jumped out of her chest for a moment there but his fingers were mercifully too big to sense the tiny needles still deep inside. She made a very good show of her innocence with sass.

“Yes! I poisoned the poor corporal with honey, best be careful. This yomioang is just full of tricks.” The Tawkami woman said tartly as he stared down, still confused about what the heck was on his hand. He hadn’t seen honey since he had left the forest with his family.

“Why do you have this?” His voice was more full of wonder than she had expected.

“The scientists. They-“

“They?”

“Dr. Hanson just gave me some as a thank you. That’s it.” Tala looked up at him through her eyelashes. “And I didn’t hurt the corporal or poison the honey if that’s what you’re going to ask next.”

Neteyam pursed his lips, it was. Tala sighed and stepped forward and he was damned to admit that the gentle air of her perfume did make him feel better.

“If I wanted to hurt him I wouldn’t have come back to you now.” She cautioned another step forward and she delicately picked out the sticky sweet crystals from Neteyam’s hand. He froze, eyes warning as the veins on his neck pronounced itself. She was close enough for him to count the tanhi on her face and now the real sweet thick substance was setting his nerves on fire.

“I promise, I won’t hurt you. You know I know how to help, let me help you. If I’ll heal the vrrteps, I’ll heal you. Please.” Tala said again, her green eyes gazing straight at his, she noted how the golden syrup reflected against his eyes. She used to think he was sweet. For that, she couldn’t ignore how his mottled blood-stained stank, how the sick clung to his skin and his breath was short.

Neteyam’s eyes softened a percentage under Tala’s determination. The plea in her voice seemed sincere to him.

He sighed and kept his eyes on her, suspicious. She frowned, about to give up and her fingers started to leave his skin.

The soldier sighed again, tugged off his shirt, and sat on the edge of his bed.

Tala let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding as she quickly looked around the windowless room, closed off and the only comfort it possessed was that it smelled like him and the forest. Pine, sunlilies, and, somehow, sunlight.

She picked out what she needed from the available medical supplies and sat down delicately next to him, barely disturbing the wrinkles.

The bandages were decent, but they were old, Tala worked quickly. He hissed when she cleaned the wound.

Tala pushed the small cluster of honey she had recollected from his hand into his mouth as if she were comforting a child.

“Tawtute medicine stings, you’ve always known that. Just enjoy this.” Tala said, a small smile quirked on her lips as she foresaw the scowl begin to sink into the wrinkle of his mouth.

He definitely didn’t appreciate it but kept stoic as he let the honey roll around on his tongue. Sweet, his eyes flickered to the navi in front of him. The scene felt so… familiar, despite his best efforts to resist

The Tawkami alchemist finished and quietly touched his exposed forehead. The fever wasn’t too strong, he had sweated out the majority of it and Tala had spotted some pill bottles earlier. She wished she had her usual ingredients, the Tawkami medicine and recipes that could heal him faster.

“How did this happen?”

“Do you really want to know?” Neteyam mumbled though he did admire her handiwork as he looked down.

It wasn’t from uncooperation that he asked this, Tala knew. She paused if she really did want to know. What was a messy scar and a fever for this solder was likely something much more permanent for whoever did this to him, it made her chew the inside of her cheek. The tranquil seed was still always an option.

“Why didn’t the vrrteps heal you? Your wound shouldn’t have gotten infected.” She switched her question.

“I told you I don’t like the scientists.” Neteyam thought her change in topic was prudent.

She nodded and he realized she still didn’t understand.

“I’d rather tend to myself, I know how to and I don’t need them to run their… tests on me. Keep me under observation for something as small as this.”

Curiosity flashed in Tala’s eyes and Neteyam mentally decided he’d only humor her for as long as this small ball of honey in his mouth lasted.

“Do they do that often? Keep you under observation?”

“They brought me back from the dead, Tala. Of course.”

“What do they do?”

“They check my vitals, lay me inside one of their bio-lab chambers.”

“And what else?”

The ball of honey was melting fast.

“I’m unconscious when I’m in the chamber.”

“But does it… hurt? When you wake up?”

Neteyam didn’t feel like answering, so he sucked until the honey disappeared completely on his tongue.

“Thank you for tending to me, Tala. I’ll call a guard to escort you back.” He was not surprised from the severely offended look on Tala’s face.

For she didn’t appreciate the clipped ‘thank you, get out’ from Neteyam’s mouth. Tala kneeled up to tower over him, letting the unbuttoned lab coat fall off her shoulders as she placed her hand on her hips.

The soldier would hurl himself off a cliff before confessing that his eyes strained not to stare at that deliciously thin, tiny, piece of grey cloth that covered her cunt. She looked too good in it, no loincloth to cover the supple fold of her flesh, her thighs and pelvis meeting- focus.

“You didn’t answer my question.” She said.

“I’ve answered enough.”

“You didn’t answer an important one.” Tala was slowly realizing she should not have missed him as much as she did in his absence. She sighed, and Neteyam took minor offense to being treated as if he was the source of her vexation.

“I’m just… Of course, I’ll leave, you need to rest.” She figured she wasn’t going to get any more information and a larger part of her was scolding her for trying in the first place. This skxawng wasn’t worth the effort, she had done her duty as a healer and alchemist. This was enough.

Neteyam stilled his movements, taken aback at her so quickly giving up. He regarded her suspiciously and sighed. He lets the wrist tech fall to the floor.

“You drop-” Tala was about to be very helpful and reach down to retrieve it until Neteyam suddenly grabbed her by her waist and pulled her down with him, letting his back fall onto the mattress.

“Neteyam! Your wound!” She yelped.

“Just be quiet.”

Tala looked at him in complete disbelief, Neteyam kept his eyes trained on the ceiling since he didn’t need to look at her to already know what her expression was like. She was stunned, to say the least, but Tala was also minding the feeling of her body pressed onto his bare chest. This felt the closest thing to tender between them.

She decided being a little selfish for the comfort wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Instead of asking more questions, which the soldier was preparing himself mentally for, Tala surprised him by simply sighing and settling in, tracing the stripes on his chest. Her fingertips danced lazily on the skin, careful over his old gunshot wound on his left pec. Whatever, looks like she was stuck here.

Now Neteyam knew he was still delirious from his fever when he found himself not stopping her. When he found her soft curves like a blanket on top of him and her careful touch endearing. This was why he needed strength every time he saw her, already he was letting her entrap him like a small animal, attracted to her warmth and smell. He had to remember that even wasps also settled within her, waiting to attack him on all fronts.

His tail thumped softly against the side of the bed, agitated. Tala noticed but stayed quiet. She reminded herself that every show of embarrassment was because his ego was crying, not because he considered her capable of affecting him.

“Why do you help me?” When Neteyam asked it he wondered to himself why he was so eager to get eaten and stung.

Tala could feel the bass of his voice tremor through her and she raised her face to look at him.

“A healer doesn’t need a reason to heal, remember?” Tala replied softly, simply, she rested her cheek on her arm. In the end, this was what she believed in, even if her wartime experience told her this was reckless.

The Omaticayan was not expecting to be so unscathed.

“Mm.” He hummed.

“Did you give Halloway that black eye?”

There it was, the first sting. Neteyam shrugged and then winced. Tala was immediately amused and scooted closer to his face, grinning.

“How come?” She asked, beginning to sound all too excited.

“… You were unfairly punished, remember?” His heart didn’t know whether to feel lighter or heavier when she giggled.

“You got revenge for me before I even asked!” Tala was smiling, wasn’t this a treat? Did this skxawng actually have the capacity to be charitable? “How come you didn’t tell me?”

It was when it dropped that he realized he was smiling at all. He trained his eyes back on the bare ceiling. He remembered when he used to ache to see stars.

“What would you have done if I did?”

“I probably would’ve kissed you.”

He furrowed his brows at her, unimpressed. Tala scoffed and laughed again.

“A real kiss. Not that bloody mauling you make us do with our lips.”

Now that offended him, Neteyam propped himself up by his elbows.

“I don’t ever hear you complainin-”

Tala pressed her lips so completely softly against his, it should’ve been so easy for him to shove her off.

Yet his voice broke off instantly and her eyelashes brushed against his cheek. Her eyes were mercifully closed so she couldn’t see the war his ears flushed red.

Another sting.

“You taste like honey,” Tala said, smiling into the kiss. She didn’t have any real reason why she was doing this. Maybe she wanted to prove herself wrong. Maybe she wanted to check really how little Neteyam cared for her… and how much.

His body felt hot, Great fucking Mother why was she so… It was embarrassing how quickly he was getting enraptured by her whims. She always did whatever she wanted, he hadn’t seen that as something attractive before.

The Tawkami pulled her face back and so embarrassingly his own chased after hers until she put his hand over his mouth.

“See? A real kiss.”

Neteyam dumbly nodded and only when Tala ever so softly giggled did he regain some sense. He scoffed and quickly turned the both of them to properly lay in his bed, pulling the covers over them.

He settled his face into her soft breasts, the only thing that he felt hadn’t betrayed or embarrassed him that day.

“Excuse me??” Tala squeaked, amused though.

“Shu’up. Tired.” His voice was muffled into the fat of her breasts but Tala basically understood. She chortled, was this fondness she was feeling? His resistance towards her was bordering so much closer to adorable than to infuriating just then, the flashes of his old self were… bring up warm reminders. Of when he was much nicer and much funner to be around, much kinder.

Tala settled in, supposing correctly she wouldn’t be let go any time soon. Her hands softly patted his back as they laid there.

“Fine, I’ll leave you be since you’re hurt.” She said in her magnanimous good grace. She decided to also ignore Neteyam snorting between her breasts.

Silence returned and Tala considered speaking of something of much more substance, of importance. Like the war, his family, but the words stuck in her throat. They were virtually strangers. Even strangers in war could share intimacy like this if they were desperate and tired enough.

The thought made playing with Neteyam’s unadorned braids of hair feel… invasive. She stopped.

They were just starved for warmth, that was all. Neteyam felt lucky that he was drowsy now. Like Tala, there was too much he didn’t want to think about, no intention to release it all.

Both kept silently awake for hours before drifting into slumber.

—

Neteyam’s face was lit by stinging sparks of fire and magma.

It was hot, so hot he could barely breathe. He looked around, coughing, and there he saw the slender back of someone who looked too eerily familiar. He groaned internally, he had always hated Eywa’s ability to send visions in dreams, did he really have no place for solace?

“Mother.”

Neytiri turned, her amber eyes wide and blazing as she looked at her son with a face of anguish. She ran towards him, through plumes of burning stone.

“Maitan [my son]!”

Neteyam grimaced as his mother’s arms encircled him, her grip tight and pleading. She was shaking, he could see how aged the skin on her hands had become, her smell of daffodils.

He saw his songcord hanging on her hips and he felt as if the splatters of fire were less painful a sensation than seeing that.

Neytiri stepped back to look at her firstborn, miracles and blessings on her tongue. Her fingers wandered along his face, his scars, the one on his forehead was hidden from her however.

Her reverie was cut short when she truly looked at the RDA vrrtep uniform he was fully clothed in

“You are alive.” Her voice trembled regardless, too much pain and happiness bubbled up to the surface as the lines of her conflicted smile deepened, she was trying not to sob.

“Mother.” Neteyam couldn’t help but want to be kind. He had often daydreamed of how such reunions would go. He had calculated soon enough his mother would see him, as he is now. He knew she would know she’d have to kill him and how she would want to refuse to. He counted on it.

“M-my son, how could you think like this?” His mother’s voice broke at the question, somehow everything the two were thinking was so plain to them here.

Their ears flicked at the roars of fire and heaviness settled.

“If the People give up Jake Sully, I won’t have to.” Neteyam said and he could feel his mother start to draw blood. Nothing, it felt like barely anything.

“What is this poison, Neteyam? What have they done to you, maitan?” Neytiri nearly shouted, her own songcord swinging as her whole body shook in anger, imitating the volcanoes around them. “I will kill them, I will avenge you-“

Jake Sully first. He alone should be the only casualty, Neteyam knew that, all of Eywa'eveng knew that. But even in his clearheadedness, not at all shrouded in migraine, he could feel his scars emanate a heat hotter than fire. Nothing to hide behind, resentment filled up so much of his core.

His head and his heart wanted revenge. It wasn’t even his fault, none of theirs, Neteyam knew so logically.

“Bro…?”

He turned his head so quickly his plain braids whipped to see a na’vi too familiar to him. Five fingers, eyebrows, face and limbs inked with dark tattoos, and taller. He walked towards them, somehow feet not burning and the heat made his visage blurry but not his emotions.

“Lo’ak…” it was their mother, Neytiri called out to him in warning. The son in front of her, she would not dare take her eyes off of him now.

Not when the inferno reflected in Neteyam’s eyes was overflowing, his jaw tightened, if his nails were longer he’d long be drawing blood into his palms.

“You do not want this.” Neytiri’s voice rose as Lo’ak approached them, his lips parted. Wonder, horror?

Guilt.

“Bro-, Neteyam. Neteyam I’m so sorry-“ Lo’ak wanted to believe it was because of the way even the air sizzled that he found it harder to breathe, not because of his… did he have the right to call him a brother?

“First, Dad. Because we shouldn’t even exist and you know it.” Neteyam’s voice was eerie and he stepped closer to his younger sibling, it made Lo’ak’s feet falter and Neytiri’s throat bubbled up with panic.

“What- What are you talking about-?”

“There was something Quaritch told me since the time I’ve come back.” Neteyam spat at the words ‘come back’ as if he had any choice in the matter. Neytiri followed as her sons came closer and closer to each other, no one backing down. The lava was following the steps of each warrior.

“Something about the ‘sins of the father’ to be paid by his children.”

Lo’ak kept his gaze steady, his hands twitched at the threat. Neteyam didn’t have a clue what his face was like now, but he could feel it through Lo’ak. Monster, freak, he supposed it was unsurprising.

A son that was supposed to be dead.

Both sons of a traitor.

Neteyam stopped a meter away from the younger. Their heights seemed even, Lo’ak’s warrior garb and belly band looked similar to the one he had had. He wanted to laugh, was that a tribute to him?

Lo’ak’s ears turned down, jaw set.

“Do you really think that’s fair, baby brother?” His voice was too calm.

“Neteyam, stop this, they have poisoned you against your own family, your people! Please, just come home maitan-“

Lo’ak heard the mistake in his mother’s plea too late.

“Home? Like when I asked to come back home when I died?” His fury was overwhelming, Neteyam was seeing things he did not recognize. He was shot in the head, when had he the time to tell them? What was this dark view of the stars, faces of loved ones looking down on him, where was this from?

The other two sensed the confusion, only making their own burst through.

“Neteyam, please, just listen to us-“

“Maitan, it will be okay! Your-your father has barely slept since you-“

“Why should the People continue to suffer for his actions? Jake Sully already doomed this place-!”

“Dad doomed this place? Are you out of your fucking mind?” Lo’ak’s tone turned grave with this outburst and he ventured closer to his brother despite Neytiri’s protests.

“You’ve got to fucking joking. You’re actually on the side of the people that ruined our lives, destroyed our homes, killed everyone, killed you, mom’s family-?!” They were growling at each other now, Neteyam no longer had the significant height advantage he was used to. Their fangs gleamed red in the dream, as if already bloodied, he always hated Lo’ak’s were sharper but he was confident it wouldn’t help that much.

Both were suddenly aware that in their respective war costumes, both had knives strapped to their bodies.

“No!” Neytiri sobbed with a pain that both brothers knew they’d never forget. She reached for her own, to protect, to defend, Neteyam’s gloved fingers wrapped around the handle of his black combat knife, and Lo’ak’s citrine eyes begged for peace as his hand reached for his carved hunting knife.

Neteyam recognized that knife. He gave it to him, a present for Lo’ak’s iknimiya, recently sharpened. Neytiri’s knife hung with a feather he had gifted to her as a child.

Neteyam now truly knew Eywa was cruel.

-----

“Neteyam!!”

The soldier gasped and immediately hurled his body forward to break the bones of whoever was in front of him.

Tala choked and she placed her hands on his face.

“Breathe, Neteyam.”

One blink and he could see the cool-toned blues and greens of dull and dark silver walls in shadow. Bridgehead. His room.

Inferno-yellow eyes met cooling leaf hues. Green, green eyes, Tala.

The breath he let out was shuddering and violent, he immediately crumpled tightly around her and Tala found herself now trying to hold the soldier up with wrinkled, damp blankets.

“I’m sorry, shit, I’m sorry…” he gasped out quickly, his entire body felt so fucking cold now, it hurt. Tala blinked owlishly but her sleepy state focused on comforting him.

“It was a dream, just a dream. You’re okay, you’re okay.” She whispered soothingly, she rubbed his back. They were sitting up in the middle of his bed now, though Neteyam was still hunched over and breathing hard to regain himself. She felt his calloused hands dug into her body as if tattooing her stripes into his palms…

“It’s your fever, you’re sweating, you’ll warm up in a bit.” Tala continued and her voice stayed calming and even. She couldn’t do much else when Neteyam’s remedy to whatever he had seen in his sleep was to bury their bodies impossibly closer together. The soldier hadn’t meant to hurt her.

He pushed his face into her softness, desperate for real warmth, not the clammy fabric of the blanket.

“Li’Tala…” Tala jerked her entire body away, stunned. He didn’t know why he said it, her full name, one that he knew-

“Don’t call me that, Neteyam.” She said, her firm voice edged on icy.

“Only my mate is allowed to call me ‘Li’Tala’ so I don’t want to hear my name out of your mouth again, you!”

“Oh, and I’m sure your mate will be crying tears of gratitude for finally becoming worthy of it, of you, beautiful Li’Tala.”

Their second meeting as young adults was not… frictionless. But as childish as it was, Tala never wavered in this little dream of hers. Who cared that it was immature, she didn’t allow exceptions, even though the Omaticayan prince bristled hard when not given one.

Neteyam always remembered this of her, yet her insistence and denial of him now made his body feel that much more frozen-numb.

He chased after her skin and stuck his tongue out to taste its natural salt, reminding him of the first time they had reunited. Her taste and her everything, his whole body was shaking for it.

“Li’Tala, Li’Tala…”

“Neteyam–stop–” Now Tala started to squirm in his desperate hold. She could feel his hardening arousal between them, settling so perfectly against her vulva. She pushed against him.

“You need sleep, not a fuck.” She hissed. Tala shivered as the soldier switched between licking, sucking, and biting lightly along the tanhi on her shoulders and chest.

“I need you, Li’Tala.” He rasped deeply. She ignored the way his voice made even her toes curl because now her blood was pumping far too loudly. What did he just say to her? Was he losing his mind, what pills did he take??

“Eywa, get a grip!”

He suckled at the flesh of her tits, Tala shoved his face away with the thick metal of the inhibitor cuffs. He groaned and settled for simply pulling her onto his lap closer than ever, taking a break from his ministrations.

She huffed, she was panting much harder than she realized.

“What happened, what did you see?”

Great mother or whatever being out there, if there ever was one… what could he do to make her realize his ache for her?

“... I need your help, Li’Tala.” He started, fangs catching onto her skin as he spoke. It all made her freeze, she peered down and tried to gently bring his face back towards hers. He let her and looked up at her, she caught herself thinking it was as if he was beseeching her. There was no way.

“I need to forget it. I know you can help.” He said, sunspot yellow met with her cool green. She knew she could to, it’s just…

“Stop calling me Li’Tala” She tried again, this time much more softly. He groaned.

“Let me pretend.” He whispered hotly, his fingers reaching for her cheek. His fingertips barely touched hers and yet she felt only heat.

He still felt so cold.

She gulped. What did pretending mean, what was he thinking of? Tala usually felt like she was the one getting burnt by him, now it seemed like he was starving for her kindling because now… his fire was weak. He was begging her.

Tala bit her lips, frustrated, conflicted. She could just do the same to Neteyam as she did with Halloway, she didn’t need to comfort him.

The Tawkami glanced at her wrists still heavy with metal inhibitors, he needed her?

She would blame her drowsiness for it, just… fuck it. Fuck it.

“You follow my lead then.” Tala whispered and Neteyam swore he could feel his cock twitch at her tone. He nodded eagerly.

Tala then smashed their lips together. His tongue immediately sought inside her, to explore the cavern of her teeth.

She was practically sitting on him now. She could feel his bulge dig into her thigh, he was pawing at her, palming whoever fat he could. He groaned into her perfume.

Tala shushed him softly. She raised her hips just enough for him to frantically shove down his sweats and Tala delicately pushed the tawtute tewng to the side, it squeezed her pink and puffy folds so perfectly that it made him nearly weep. He was already leaking as he heaved, not noticing the bitter look on her face.

“Don’t worry.” She cooed so nicely in contrast. Her voice was like those tawtute myths he was told about by his father, angelic. She slowly and carefully sunk down her pelvis, his cock head breached her open none too gently and she muffled a high-pitched moan, letting Neteyam’s hard shaft split her open. The stretch ached but she kept her voice even and breathy.

“Be good.” She whispered and waited for his reply. The soldier groaned, every strand of muscle forcing him to not push her down right there and then.

Tala sunk down completely it made Neteyam groan harshly and loudly at the feeling of her tight and warm walls surrounding him. His nerves were shot. Naturally, he was about to fuck into her heat when she did it for him. She dragged her hips up unbearably slowly, both reveling how her cunt squeezed each ridge, so hot, so tight.

“Stay still.”

She slammed her hips down with a ferocity that made both of them moan loudly, she nearly cried out. She started to bounce, holding onto Neteyam’s broad shoulders for support.

“Mmmm…” Tala moaned low, each moan punctuated every time she felt her ass slap against his thighs. He moaned with her, finding himself on the receiving end of her fast pace. He groaned into her hair wantonly, cock twitching inside her.

“Fuuckkk, hahh, fuck.” He cursed softly then latched his mouth on his first mark on her. She stopped suddenly and it embarrassed him how nearly he fucking whined.

“No biting.” She cooed and Neteyam thought he was being driven insane tonight. Today. Since he had taken Tala.

He growled but nodded, settling into a tight embrace instead. He looked at her expectantly, was this allowed?

Tala’s smile was enough to replace the ache for stars he usually felt whenever he looked up in his room.

Then his eyes nearly rolled back when she slammed and bucked harder onto him.

“F-uuuck, haaah, aangh~” Tala graphically moaned into his ear. She panted and her tits bounced as she pistoned herself on his cock. “Aahhh, nnnggg…” she quietly moaned, angling her hips just so to make the fat tip brush against her sweet spots. Neteyam rutted into her uncontrollably, losing himself as he mindlessly chased her warmth. His mouth was open in a silent moan, holy shit.

Tala’s so fucking wet now and she rolled her pelvis to award herself louder moans from Neteyam’s lips.

“Li’T-tala, so good, fuck you’re so good.” He praised, face still stuck to the crook of her neck. She switched her pace and started rotating her hips, rolling them as she still lazily stroked herself along his shift. She felt her self-satisfaction spike when the soldier’s yellow eyes rolled up and fluttered, pupils were so blown out. She admitted he was adorable like this too.

She brought Neteyam’s hand to her belly, pushing down his hand with hers against the bulge there. They both groaned deeply at the sensation, Tala was near hiccuping from the pleasure. A toy that she was, she had only a toy’s ability to see Neteyam unravel. And she chased it hungrily.

His vulnerable expression contorted from the pleasure. To say Tala’s pussy was the best medication he’s had all week would be an understatement.

“Am I doing good, mighty warrior?” Tala squeezed her walls tight for good measure, a moan ripping out her throat as she did. It was worth it, hearing Neteyam’s louder and deeper one that ended with his teeth back on her skin. He quickly ripped his head back when he remembered her little rule.

“So fucking good, please. Fuckk…” He groaned, massaging her belly now even harder, the thought alone made him want to cum. Tala gasped.

“Mmmm, nnng!!” She squealed, and she fucked herself on his pulsating and thick cock even faster, the squelching sounds fueled the both of them.

Plap, plap, squelch, the mattress started to creak. The soldier switched to holding onto her hips, just to make each thrust that much deeper, to feel her cunt flutter at every brush near her cervix and Tala was seeing stars.

Each ridge and thick vein on his shaft was melting and massaging her cunt. She was enjoying herself fully, from the perspective of the toy she was. He certainly needed this toy so badly now.

“Mmm, mmm!! Haah, hahh, is this really helping? Is your toy pleasing you? Maybe we should stop…” She teased, suddenly slowing down, and was delightfully surprised when he mindlessly begged.

“NO! Fuck, please, dont’s-stop, such a good toy, Li’Tala. So fucking wet, so fucking tight.” He blathered, arms only tightening around her desperately.

Tala threw her head back when Neteyam reached between them, with intense accuracy, to squeeze her clit.

“Oahhh!! Mmmg- Neteyam!” She cried out, the sounds of slapping skin made him laugh dumbly. Their pelvises were completely covered in each other’s slick.

“Take my cum, Tala, need you to take all my cum..” he muttered into her ear and he used his grip on her clit to guide Tala’s pace, she was so close now.

“Don’t stop, so fucking good ma’fil, Li’Tala…” he breathed out, his voice unsteady and deeply tinged in pleasure. The way Neteyam husked her name made her pussy walls convulse.

“Haa, haaa, ahh, I’m close~! I’m close, Nete-yam, Neteyam, so close, close!” Tala whined and dug their pelvises so tightly together that her pearl of nerves rubbed harshly against his toned muscle. She grinded on him wildly, his cock hitting her gummy walls so good, she abused her sweet spots with him.

“So hot, so hot…” he was praising her, the sight of her had made him completely forget how he felt like he was freezing just moments ago. Her soft breasts bouncing, torso in a light sheen of sweat and her eyes so fucking focused on him, her cunt was devoted to squelching lewdly every time she grinded on him.

He was close too, he could feel how heavy his balls were now and without either of their warnings, Neteyam spilled his load into her, it made her mewl as she came hard with him.

Black spots dotted their vision as they painted, their juices had overflowed inside Tala and usually the sight would irritate Neteyam, making him wanna fuck it back into her.

But Tala didn’t mind the mess. In fact, she wanted more. After a few seconds, she rolled her hips again and even though they stuttered, she felt herself able to overcome the crackles of overstimulation.

Her hands delicately laced through his hair to gently stroke at the base of his kuru.

Neteyam hissed loudly and squeezed onto her ass in warning, barely able to stop himself from bucking into her overflowing cunt.

Too fucking soon, the sensation of her pink flesh was overwhelming, the friction was making his muscles involuntarily twitch, he groaned as he rested his head back.

“What’s wrong? You don't want to?” Tala asked, her voice soft and sultry. The question just sounded like the deadliest taunt to him. She was rotating her hips and twisting him from inside her, his cock felt like it was being choked in different ways, squeezed and massaged in a way he hadn’t been before. She was fucking milking him, Neteyam only dumbly shuddered and thrusted upwards weakly.

Her tiny pussy was soaking him, his balls, and his mattress but that didn’t matter when it was the only thing on his mind, her gummy flesh was the only thing reminding him he was still breathing.

After what felt like an eternity of the most delicious torture, Tala finally screamed her last climax and mercifully stopped, shivering from aftershocks of pleasure. She had pulled so much more ropes of cum from him and just staying inside her nearly made him cum again, it made Neteyam whimper low and hotly, his golden eyes barely able to stay open. Tala finally collapsed on him, muscles were burning and she was breathing heavily, but the look on his face made it all so worth it.

She was impressed with herself, her body was heavy with what felt like deep buckets of creamy liquid spilling out of her. She noticed now how tightly his tail had encircled her thigh, a slight mark left from it now.

“Fuck… Li’Tala…” Neteyam drawled out wearily, he collapsed onto his back and brought her with him. Her full name brought back shudders along her spine, the way he said it was positively lewd and so, so, intimate.

Tala hummed, fully able to feel the slowly calming pulse on his neck. She licked her lips, she was enticed. Not one had she left marks on him, she never felt a desire to.

The Omaticayan breathed hard, when he felt her fangs push past her perfect lips and onto his skin. It wasn’t deep, barely a bruise, but Tala finally figured out why he enjoyed doing it to her so much. The way his scent covered her face and somehow she could taste it in his skin was intoxicating.

She licked the small wound while Neteyam fought internally how horny he instantly became again despite his exhaustion. Tala hummed, the two too tired to even look at each other from where they rested.

“Good boy…” She said softly before fading into slumber. Only Neteyam could feel how hard his cock twitched when he heard her whisper. They were fucked out and warm and his miserable dreams were nothing but fuzzy images.

His own consciousness was fading fast and any shiver his body felt was definitely from no bite of cold, regardless of the sweat. Now it was more like pinpricks of pleasure and pain, definitely distracting. Neteyam closed his eyes.

He embraced Tala tenderly, he breathed in her hair, and his mind was completely soothed. He slept wholly to Tala, to the smell of her sweetness, the beat of her heart, the sound of her breath, choosing to forget about those damned dreams and his damned existence.

He breathed out once again, vague recollections of fire licking at his skin.

Neteyam forced the thoughts away by lightly running his fingers on the mark Tala just left on him, barely aching, he could only find it by carefully sensing the barest indentation. He then felt for the one he left on Tala all that time ago, the texture of the scar made it much easier.

Both comforted him, grounded him, he didn’t notice the way his tail wagged a bit too contently. All of his muscles relaxed and gratefully his sleep was dreamless.

His last thought was how much he enjoyed calling her Li’Tala than ma’fil.

tag list: @xylianasblog @itchaboi-itchyboy @hotdsworld @pandoraslxna @luvv4j4ybe11 @neteyamsyawntu @akoyaxs @whatevenisagrapefruit @teyamsatan @justcaptiannoodles @theblueflower05 @neteluvr @neteyamssyulang @plooto @hao-ming-8 @teyamsilly @vivid-ink @vampirefilmlover

notes: hi! finally getting into the plot portion of the fic lol, hopefully this will be all finished v soon! maybe 2 or 3 more chapters? hope yall enjoy~

#recom neteyam #doodle #smut #fanfic #avatar way of water #neteyam sully #avatar 2 #liar liar #fanart #avatar fanfiction #female oc #neteyam x oc

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stanmammon · 2 years ago

Note

Hello! Can I request for tears with Lucifer? Thank you :)

Lucifer:

Tears: What does the character do when they accidentally make you cry.

Lucifer never minced words.

He would never purposely hurt you, never sought to beat down your confidence or to attack an insecurity, he was just the ‘tough love’ sort of demon. He had been dealing with his brothers for so long that he didn’t realize the very different reaction he could get from someone with a gentler heart; even then, hearing someone you love say something so harsh and critical when it was entirely unnecessary to even comment upon was certainly a blow for someone of any constitution.

You had managed to keep the stiff upper lip while giving Lucifer a rebellious look, mouth opening briefly but no words came out. The way he spoke it was like it was impossible to refute him, like his word was law and any thought you had of defending yourself dissipated into the wind. You can’t keep up your tough face for long, dismissing yourself without another world while Lucifer watched you with a puzzled look on his face; it was a shock that Mr. Perfect couldn’t realize he had hurt you so thoroughly that you couldn’t even look at him without wanting to cry.

Mr. Perfect, as you had bitterly called him, did indeed realize his mistake just a moment to late. When you turned from him he saw the glint of tears, pooling at the corner of your eyes, but you didn’t allow him another chance to speak. You rushed from the room and he swore he heard a sniffle before the door was slammed shut, leaving him in a stunned silence.

His words weren’t untrue but perhaps they were unkind, something you didn’t deserve. It wasn’t easy to turn away from his more demonic nature but he supposed he could make the effort if he managed to hurt you this badly. He wondered what it was that you needed from him in this moment. Did you want him to come after you? Did you want him to leave you alone since he was the reason behind your hurt in the first place?

His phone buzzed.

The House of Lamentation group chat.

‘Hey does anyone know what’s wrong? They looked upset.’

‘Who? I haven’t left my room it wasn’t me’

‘I think we all know who did it.’

Lucifer would’ve smashed his D.D.D. if it wouldn’t cause him endless problems, pinching the bridge of his nose and inhaling slowly. He ignored the chat and Belphie’s pointed message since he was right on the money, it was his fault that you were upset. He couldn’t just leave it without knowing, if you needed space you could send him away and he’d respect those wishes, but he couldn’t just let the situation be.

He passed through the hall lightning quick to avoid the curious gazes of his brothers who would surely be coming to check on you after they were done discussing all the horrid things Lucifer could’ve done to cause the reaction. He sighed as he stood outside your door, knocking twice and waiting for a response. Hearing nothing was not exactly encouraging so he knocked again, announcing himself this time.

“Don’t you think we talked enough today?” Your voice isn’t shaky but he can hear the hurt in your voice, that you had forced your tears to stop to not give him the satisfaction of knowing how deeply he affected you. But that’s not the feeling he wanted to evoke, it was beginning to tear him up inside to think that you might not let him remedy the situation.

“I wish to apologize,” He stated simply, “Could I come in?”

“…Fine.”

Moving quickly again he slipped inside your room, a rather familiar place at this point though you’d done much to change it up over the years that you had lived there. The door clicked shut and you made no move to leave your bed, remaining balled up with your arms wrapped tightly around a pillow, using it like a protective barrier from anything else Lucifer might say to hurt you.

If you looked at him you’d see the sorry look on his face, the way he looked concerned and guilty and many other emotions that Mammon would love to snap a picture of to sell on Akuzon. He approached the bed with enough noise that you knew he was approaching, his ears waiting for your protests though he heard none. Not even as the bed dipped down to his weight on the edge.

It seemed you still didn’t have anything to say to him.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did.” He reached over to touch your back, hand stroking down your back in what he hoped was a soothing manner. There were many things he did that could easily be seen as condescending or unwanted, so as much as he knew you liked this type of thing from him, you might not interpret it the same way in the moment. He’s not the type to ever walk on eggshells around anyone but it goes without saying he wasn’t about to make this situation worse than it already was. “I apologize. I wasn’t aware of how my words would upset you, and it was never my intention.”

“Are you actually sorry? Or are you just saying that so you can give yourself a pat on the back and be like, ‘oh I did all that I could do so now it’s on them to get over it’?”

“It’s sincere. And if you don’t accept it, I understand.”

“…Don’t laugh at this really stupid statement, but it wouldn’t kill you to be a little nicer. I know you’re a demon and all, but it really sucks to be talked to like that sometimes. And especially from you… I don’t want to disappoint you…”

“You’ve never disappointed me.” Lucifer was feeling antsy, he wanted you to face him, he had to see you, “My harshness was only because I see the endless potential in you. I know that you are talented, intelligent, and that giving me your heart is something I should consider more often.”

“…Yeah, it is. I’m gonna revoke your privileges.”

Lucifer leaned down to press a kiss to the side of your head, feeling that the storm had finally passed, “Please, do not. I would selfishly request that I get to keep your heart just for me.”

#Obey Me!#Obey Me x Reader #Obey Me Imagines #Obey Me! Imagines #OM Lucifer #Obey Me Lucifer #Obey Me Lucifer x Reader #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #scenario #Drabble Prompts

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redrose10 · 11 months ago

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Here is Part 2. Hopefully I can get the next part out within the next week. Comments and messages are always appreciated!

Inn Keeper Yoongi x Female Author Reader

Summary: You have never experienced true love which is hilarious considering you write romance novels for a living. When you end up staying at The Interlude Inn located in Holly Falls you start to wonder if maybe the answer to your newest love story is sitting behind the welcome desk. Quickly, you find out that Min Yoongi hides a lot of pain and sorrow behind his shy smiles and quick glances.

Warnings: (may get updated) Swearing, character death, very very angsty for a while, mentions of physical and verbal abuse, bullying, a really mean letter, panic attacks, eventual light smut, eventual fluff

Word Count: 3,704

Tag List: @viankiss @kam9404 @igot7fairlyoddparents

Later that evening dinner was filled with laughter and stories. Jimin had countless tales from Milan and Paris, New York and LA, Munich, Seoul, Tokyo. The list went on. You guess that’s what happens when you’re one of the most sought after models. He was charming and charismatic. Mae was certainly head over heels for him which brought many chuckles up on your end.

While you tried your best to stay interested in his stories and be polite your focus often shifted to the sulking Yoongi sitting off to the side next to his grandmother. His shoulders dropped down and he picked around at his food even though you knew it was one of his favorite meals. You hoped he wasn’t still upset with you about what happened after the trip to the strawberry farm and you were just looking for a chance to speak to him about it.

Thankfully after dinner Jimin went off to his room to get some sleep and Mae was going to meet one of her friends for some coffee so that just left just you and Yoongi. You had offered to clean up the dishes and once they were all dried and put away you started making your way around the inn looking for him. It didn’t take long for you to find him out in the garden using the last little bit of sunlight left of the day. Making sure your steps made enough noise to warn him of your arrival you knelt down and gave him a smile once you knew that he wasn’t going to get startled.

“What are you working on so late at night?”, you asked.

“Nothing really. Just pulling some weeds and cleaning up.”

Silence filled the air as he returned to the task he had set out to do.

“Listen Yoongi, about earlier, I never meant to upset you. I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

He gave you a small smile, “It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend to care about me.”

Your brows furrowed, “What’s that supposed to mean? I haven’t been pretending to care about you. I genuinely want to spend time with you and get to know you better.”

Standing up he brushed the dirt off his knees before walking back to the inn. Quickly you chased after him a little surprised at his quick movements.

“Yoongi I’m serious. I’m sorry if you got that impression, but that wasn’t what I was trying to achieve.”

Suddenly he stopped and turned startling you this time.

“Why are you doing this? Is my grandmother forcing you? Wouldn’t you rather spend it with Jimin?”

It might’ve been the lighting or even your imagination, but you swear you saw the start of tears forming at his waterline breaking your heart.

“Yoongi no one is making me do anything. Jimin is a nice guy and I liked talking to him, but he’s not you. And he’s leaving soon anyways. He was just passing through. I really do want to get to know you more before I leave next week and even then I’d like to keep in touch with you. I promise I’m not trying to intentionally hurt you.”

For a few moments you weren’t sure how to proceed. Yoongi stood at the back door of the inn staring at the ground while biting his lip. After what seemed like forever he looked up at you with a tear falling down his left cheek. You had to muster up all the restraint in your body not to reach over and wipe it away.

“Y/N please don’t give up on me. I just need more time.”, he whispered before running back into the inn leaving you staring at the now empty spot. You wanted to give him all the time in the world, but you knew the clock was ticking.

Over the next few days you hardly saw Yoongi other than at breakfast and dinner. Even when you specifically went looking for him he was nowhere to be found. Jimin had already left leaving just the three of you again. After working on your new novel for a few hours you decided to head over to Taehyung’s and see about trying that new latte and maybe getting a slice of pie. On the way there you happened to look over and saw Yoongi walking through the field where you saw the few cherry blossom trees the other day. He was wearing a baby blue colored sweater that made him look so soft and cozy. As much as you wanted to run over and engulf him in a hug you thought it was best to just let him be and head over to the farm as planned.

Jin had convinced you to try his newest creation, a grilled cheese sandwich made with Brie cheese and sliced strawberries with a honey balsamic dipping sauce. According to Jin he wanted to expanded the cafe into more of a restaurant adding more savory dishes. You weren’t 100% sold, but it wasn’t terrible either.

“Hey so what happened with Yoongi the other day?”, Namjoon asked taking a seat next to you.

“I think he just got really overwhelmed by the thought of spending time with so many people.”

“Yeah I could see that. Sometimes even I get stressed out by how hectic things are around here.”, he chuckled.

“Who are we taking about?”, Jungkook asked walking over and taking a seat across from you. Quickly you noticed him eyeing your uneaten sandwich so you slid the plate over chuckling as he inhaled it.

“Just Yoongi and what happened the other day.”, Namjoon replied.

Taehyung having finished up his duties also walked over and joined you guys.

“You know I was thinking of having Jin make him a cake since his birthday is coming up. I thought I could drop it off at the inn. Just something to let him know we’re thinking of him.”, he said.

“Wait his birthday is coming up? When?”, you asked.

“Umm it’ll be Saturday.”, Namjoon added.

You were supposed to leave Sunday, but that would still give you enough time to go into town and get him a gift or something.

“What if we threw a little party for him?”, Jungkook asked while trying to pry the melted cheese off his fingers.

Taehyung laughed, “Come on Kook. You know there’s no way in hell he’d ever come to a party.”

It was a really nice gesture, but you also knew Taehyung was right and there was no way that Yoongi would ever agree to go to something like that. But maybe if the guys helped you get something together then Yoongi could see they meant well you thought.

“What if we put something together for him to walk into but he’s alone? Kind of like a surprise party, but without us all there to shout surprise.”, you suggested.

“You know that just might work”., Jin replied. With everyone in agreement the group started brainstorming different ideas. With a plan set you said your goodbyes and decided to make your way back to the inn. Luckily you found Mae alone in the kitchen and filled her in on the plan and she was thrilled to go along with it.

Once back in your room you were greeted with the faint scent of flowers. You noticed on your desk a vase filled with various wildflowers in different colors. They were absolutely gorgeous, but you weren’t sure how they ended up there. You thought maybe Mae had placed them so you went out to the kitchen to thank her when you found Yoongi sitting at the table sipping some water. You also noticed the bright purple bandage on two of his fingers and his jeans were noticeably dirty. He gave you a tight lipped smile as you took a seat next to him.

“Some very beautiful flowers happened to make themselves into my room today. Would you know anything about that?”, you asked almost certain it was him.

His cheeks flushed red as he nodded, “Y-yes I picked them for you.”

Your heart swelled and you just wanted to reach over and hug him.

“Is that how you ended up dirty and with bandages?”

“Yeah I tripped and tried to catch myself on a tree trunk. It didn’t go so well.”, he chuckled softly.

“Thank you for the flowers. That was so sweet of you.”

“I..I just wanted to say sorry for the way I acted the other day.”

“No need to say sorry. I understand.”

The two of you sat in a silence that was surprisingly comfortable until he excused himself and left to his room. Once back in your own room you tried to get some more work done, but you couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful vase of flowers sitting in front of you. So you opened up a new email to send to your boss begging for more time away from the office so you could continue to stay at the inn for a little while longer. It felt like something was brewing between you and Yoongi and you didn’t want to interrupt that now.

Thankfully the following morning you woke up to a reply from your boss giving you the okay to stay as long as you were making progress. Excited that you were going to be able to stay longer you walked out to the kitchen a little cheerier than usual greeting Mae with a big smile.

Hi Mae, how are you doing today?”, you asked happily accepting a cup of coffee from her.

“Oh you know dear, same old same old.”

“Hey Mae, what do you think Yoongi would want for his birthday?”

She smiled, “Well he isn’t really one for material things. He’s much more sentimental.”

That really didn’t help you much. You were hoping you could just buy him a new sweater or some gardening gloves, but it seems you’re going to have to think a little harder. You thanked Mae and decided to head into town hoping that something there would give you some inspiration.

The little town seemed even busier than when you arrived with tourists from all over the world taking in the scenery. As you were walking up and down the streets you looked into different storefronts hoping something would catch your eye and something certainly did, but it wasn’t any gift.

Quickly you darted back behind the brick wall of the building you were next to trying to stay out of sight when you saw Yoongi looking into a large window with a large gummy smile on his face. Mae must’ve sent him into town for something. You watched as he looked over whatever was in the window. He looked like he wanted to enter into the shop, but after some hesitation he turned and started making his way back to the path to the inn. After you were sure he was gone you walked over to see what he was looking at and you were shocked to the name of the building ‘Fluffy Paws Adoption Center” and in the window an adorable little brown poodle puppy was bouncing up and down trying to get your attention. Your heart fluttered at the thought of Yoongi with a little puppy happy and giggly. You knew that a pet was a full time commitment so wanted to speak with Mae first before you just showed up with a dog that they would be responsible for after you left.

You went inside and asked if you could put the dog on hold and thankfully they gave you 48 hours so you quickly went back to the inn. In your room you hid away the knitting yarn, tangerine candies, hand painted notebook, and fluffy white sweater that you had already purchased as gifts for Yoongi. You thought maybe you were going a little overboard, but you really wanted to make this special for him.

After running through the inn you found Mae sitting in the backyard thankfully no Yoongi in sight.

You explained to her how you saw him looking in the window of the shelter and how you wanted to buy him the little brown dog. You offered to buy several months worth of food and fill an account with the local vet so that the dog could get medical care when needed. You were talking so fast you were out of breath by the time you were done and Mae couldn’t help but laugh at the state of you.

“Y/N, I think that is a wonderful idea. I actually had a little dog just like that one when Yoongi he was younger. He adored that dog. That might be why he was drawn to her.”

You were so ecstatic you could hardly sit still so you quickly called the shelter to let them know you’d stop by tomorrow to purchase the dog.

The following morning was Yoongi’s birthday. Mae convinced him to leave the house under the ruse that she needed him to accompany her to a doctors appointment even though she was fully capable of going herself. When the two of them left the house you let in Jin, Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jungkook who went to work. Jin placed the cake in the fridge along with the meat he had roasted leaving you with specific instructions on how to reheat everything properly. Taehyung and Hoseok hung up a few streamers and placed some balloons throughout the room. Namjoon and Jungkook finished wrapping up the gift they had all chipped in to get him, a laptop with music producing software already installed along with a card that they each signed.

Taking a step back you admired everyone’s hard work and you were really hoping that Yoongi would appreciate it too. After saying goodbye and promising the guys that you’d let them know how it went and hopefully send some pictures you headed off to town and picked up the adorable little poodle along with some food and a few toys. You even grabbed a tiny bandanna that said Happy Birthday.

Once back at the inn you began heating up the food from Jin which was harder than you had thought it would be thanks to the little rambunctious puppy that you were constantly chasing after. Just as you put the last plate on the table the front door swung open. Yoongi came sulking in with Mae not far behind him. You’d hope that he would’ve been surprised or at least gave you a smile, but he didn’t even look in your direction and instead stormed off to his room.

Mae walked over giving you a big smile, “It looks beautiful Y/N. You guys did a great job!”

“Yeah I really thought Yoongi would appreciate it thought. I guess we were wrong.”

She shook her head, “Just give him a few minutes dear. The doctors appointment didn’t go as well as I had hoped and we received some bad news that he is not taking well right now.”

Your heart sank.

“I’m so sorry to hear that. Please, is there anything I can do?”

She gave you a reassuring smile, “No but thank you for the offer. They want me to travel to the main city to meet with some specialists in the coming weeks. They have some high rated oncologist there that they think may be able to help.”

You couldn’t help but feel the mood dampen. You knew that Yoongi must be devastated at the thought of loosing his grandma. You played out multiple different scenarios in your head before you felt a light tap on your thigh. Looking over you found Mae giving you a sly smile.

“I have an idea. Grab the dog and follow me.”

You did as she requested by grabbing the puppy and following her down the hall to Yoongi’s room.

Mae stood at the door and lightly knocked twice, “Yoongi are you okay dear?”

After no response she slowly cracked open the door and motioned for you to set the dog on the ground and then she took one of the squeaky toys and through it in Yoongi’s room chuckling as the little dog went racing in to retrieve her toy. You heard a small yelp of surprise coming from behind the door and you knew that Yoongi was not expecting to see the little dog.

After a few moments the door slowly creaked open revealing a red faced Yoongi holding the small dog close to his chest. His eyes still had the remnants of tears as he sniffled looking around confused.

“Come out to the kitchen. We’ve got a surprise for you.”, Mae said motioning for him to follow. You followed behind him smiling as you watched the little dog he still held close take tiny licks at his neck. As you walked into the kitchen his mouth dropped open.

“What is all this?”, he asked.

Mae nodded to you giving you the push to speak so you did, “The guys from the strawberry farm came over and helped me put this together. Jin made us dinner and there’s a strawberry cream cake in the fridge. They helped me decorate and they even got you this gift and a card. They wanted to stay, but we didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

You noticed how Yoongi bit his lip trying to hide the tremble.

“Yoongi dear, wasn’t that nice of them? Maybe you two could go drop by tomorrow and thank them.”, Mae said.

He simply nodded before looking at the dog that had surprisingly fallen asleep in his arms.

“Oh she is a gift from me. I saw you looking at her the other day in town so I adopted her for you. Shes got food and some toys. There’s even an account set up at the vets office.”, you smiled.

It seemed like that was what broke the dam and he started letting tears fall while his shoulders shook slightly before he gently placed the dog on the floor and ran off to his room.

You stared for a while in shock before Mae came over gently nudging you with her shoulder in the direction he just ran off too. You took the hint and made your way to his bedroom door softly knocking. You didn’t get an answer just like you had assumed would happen, but you cracked open the door anyways finding him sitting on the edge of his bed crying.

“Yoongi I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just wanted to do something nice.”, you said taking a seat next to him.

Gently he wiped at his eyes, “I know. I’m sorry. Sometimes I just can’t help it. I do really appreciate all of this. I-I just don’t deserve it.”

Deciding to risk everything you leaned over wrapping your arms around his shoulders pulling him into a hug. When he didn’t immediately pull back you decided to speak, “Yoongi you do deserve it. You deserve it more than anyone I know. Please don’t ever think you’re not deserving of feeling loved and feeling happy. Everyone that put in effort on this just wants you to know that they’re thinking of you.”

He nodded sniffling a little, “Thank you Y/N. And m-maybe tomorrow we could go to the farm and thank them too.”

Before you could speak the bedroom door cracked open slightly and in came sprinting the little brown dog. She beelined it for Yoongi trying to get him to pick her up. You both giggled at her excitement at finally being held.

“What are you going to name her?”, you asked.

He thought for a moment as he stared out of the window, “I think Cherry. Like cherry blossom.”

“I like it. That sounds great.”, you smiled.

You sat there and spoke with him for a while. You were careful not wanting to bring up any bad memories so you were happy to just let him talk. His voice was comforting in a way and you were just taking in the moment hoping that there would be more like it in the future.

After he had finished telling you a story about how he had scored the winning basket at his elementary schools championship basketball game he suddenly got quiet. You were worried you’d done something to upset him.

“Y/N can I ask you something?”

You nodded, “Of course.”

“Why are you so nice to me? I mean we’ve only known each other for a couple weeks. You don’t have to pity me. And if my grandmother is forcing you to do this you really don’t have to. She means well, but sometimes she prods too much.”

Taking a deep breath you continued, “Yoongi it’s nothing like that. I already told you no one is forcing me. I can’t really describe it and I know it sounds so cliche, but I feel a connection to you. I want to spend time with you and get to know you. I’m extending my stay here for a few more weeks. And I just want to show you that you deserve to be treated well and that you deserve to be loved.”

When he didn’t say anything in response you looked up finding him looking at you with soft eyes. He was so close to your face that you could smell the faint scent of his vanilla and musk cologne.

Suddenly he leaned in placing the softest of kisses to your lips. It was so quick your brain almost couldn’t process what just happened and you let out a small gasp. Not because you didn’t want or like the kiss, but because you were so shocked that he had actually initiated a kiss when a couple weeks ago he couldn’t even look you in the eyes. Before you could react any further he got off the bed running out of the room ignoring your pleas for him to stop and come back.

With a sigh you sat back down on the bed giving a confused Cherry some pats as you groaned to yourself. Just when everything was finally going so well and you were beginning to make progress.

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naughtyneganjdm · 7 months ago

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Good Luck Charm - Chapter 32

Summary: As time goes by, Negan starts to go crazy to himself while being held prisoner in Alexandria.

Characters: Negan, Y/N/reader (OC), Evie, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, Thoughts of Suicide, Negan trying to hurt himself, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39423063/chapters/144929551

Notes: Back at it with some time jumping. Looking to finish this soon. Thanks to those that still read this!

Pinching at the bridge of his nose, Negan didn’t know what hurt more. His head that he smashed against the wall after Michonne denied bringing him Lucille or his throat after he tried to hang himself from the sheet using the bars of his cell. Both attempts were failures. Every time Negan got close to killing himself, he panicked and backed down. That’s why Maggie coming here to kill him was his only sure shot of dying. And when she left him there to rot, he knew that he would never be able to kill himself. His one chance was Maggie and that failed too.

Hearing that Rick went missing after blowing up the bridge, Negan knew that he would certainly be left alone to himself from here on out. No one talked to him. No one bothered with him. Gabriel found him after one of his suicide attempts, but no one cared. He could only imagine the hell that he was going to suffer now with Rick gone. Rick was the one person fighting for him, even if he was still being tortured. In all the time he was down here, Rick was the only person that bothered to talk to him. Even though Rick hated him, it still seemed like Rick treated him like a human being. The other people here? No one was going to take the time with him to bother. So all that pain and all that agony? It was only going to intensify the loneliness now that he knew he was alone. And being alone was the thing that broke him the most right now. Being trapped in his own thoughts was a very dangerous thing.

Every second felt like hours being trapped down here. So much time had passed since he had been locked up and he was miserable. Heart broken. Sad. Never before had he truly understood what it was like to feel like this.

“It’s time,” Negan heard the sound of Y/N’s voice filling the air, causing him to jump. He had been to his silence for so long that it surprised him when he heard her voice. Lifting his head up from the cot, he noticed that she wasn’t in the cell with him. His vision of her was standing by the door to the room that his cell was in.

“Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” Negan breathed out, wincing when he pulled himself up from the cot. It had been a long time since he had actually moved from the position he was in. He just didn’t have the energy or motivation to get up. “I didn’t think you were here anymore. I thought you left me.”

Something looked different from the expression on her face. It made him uncomfortable when he pushed his hands into his pockets, “I’m glad you didn’t. It’s nice hearing your voice.”

“It’s time Negan,” she repeated what she said beforehand drawing him to let out a confused exhale.

“For what?” Negan’s nose wrinkled, his head dropping down as he tried to get a better look at her through the bars.

“You don’t need me anymore,” she claimed, her head tipping back just enough for their eyes to connect. It had a rush of fear flooding into his veins and he let out a panicked sound.

“I don’t need you anymore? That’s not true,” Negan immediately shook his head, his throat tensing up when he saw the sadness in her eyes. “Y/N, I need you more than ever. With Rick gone, no one talks to me. I don’t see the children anymore. I haven’t in years. You’re all I have.”

“You don’t want me Negan and quite frankly, I don’t want to be here anymore,” Y/N clarified, folding her arms out in front of her chest. Her confession caused Negan to let out a worried sound when he walked over to the cell door. “One look at what you thought was Lucille and she was all you could think about.”

“That’s what you’re leaving for?” Negan frowned, his fingers squeezing tighter around the bars when he felt a rush of fear flood his veins. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about Lucille a lot lately, but it was just the cherry on top. I love you. I love you so much.”

“You never loved me, Negan. We both know that,” she suggested which had him pulling his body as close to the bars as possible. “After all the time I’ve spent inside of your head, I think I would know more than anyone that you never loved me. What we had? It wasn’t real.”

“I know I made you feel that way,” Negan began with a whimper, his chest aching thinking back on his past. “But that’s not true. I wish I could go back and do things over. Do them over the right way. My problem was that I loved two people in my life and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

“It’s always excuses Negan,” she hinted, but he dramatically shook his head again not wanting her to focus on that idea.

“I loved you. I loved you so much and I still love you,” Negan stressed, pressing his left hand in over the center of his chest. “Hurting you the way I did, it was so wrong. I know that. I did so much to let you down and I wish I could go back, but I swear to you I always fucking loved you.”

“You’ve tried killing yourself multiple times Negan. And like you said to Maggie, you want to be with your wife. You want to be with Lucille,” she pointed out what he had said to Maggie causing his face to drop and turn pale. “I think it’s time that we finally parted ways so I can move on. Because being here with you? It only makes me sad.”

“I’ve been making you sad for a long time and believe it or not, I understand it now,” Negan vowed, his voice breaking with the worry that she was being serious about this whole thing with leaving. “You told me how sad I made you when I left you for Lucille. How you never felt more alone. Maybe this is my punishment for that. I never thought about how much suffering you went through in being alone. I can’t remember the last time I was to myself before all of this. And I left you alone at eight months pregnant. And then you were alone every two weeks I took Evie.”

Her jaw flexed, emotions visibly flooding her features when she lowered her head, folded her arms in front of her chest and remained silent.

“I can’t handle being alone,” Negan decided, his remorse growing more the longer he spoke. “I never could. And you were always the person that made me feel the least alone. I never had to hide myself from you. You knew me. You knew all of me and you always accepted me. When we were together, I could always talk to you. I could always tell you how I felt because you listened. And you heard me. You never thought I was stupid. You never shamed me. You tried to help me. Not like Lucille. I always felt stupid when I talked to Lucille about how things were because…”

“You left me for Lucille,” she interrupted his thought process which had a long exhale falling from Negan. “You tell me all the time how much of a better lover I was. How you felt better with me. How I was the best lover. How we were the better duo. But I’ve never been enough for you. I never have Negan. Getting with me was you avoiding being alone. You didn’t love me. Maybe you grew to care, but I was a roof over your head. I kept your belly full and I gave you everything. I gave you everything and it still wasn’t enough.”

“I was greedy. I was selfish,” Negan whined, his words quiet as they fell from his lips. “It’s so hard being in a position where you love two people. Because half of you wants to be with one of them, but the other…”

“Negan, I love you. So much,” she began with a frown, interrupting him mid thought, “but I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth. Half of you didn’t want to be with me and half with her. All of you wanted to be with her because we both know that you loved Lucille more. We do. And pretending that you didn’t, it’s just you lying to me more and I hate it. No matter what you say, no matter how many times you say it – we both know that you would never pick me if you could go back. Every chance, you would pick Lucille. You would leave me alone in that house and nothing would stop you.”

Tipping his head down, Negan felt a lump growing in his throat. It always was hard because more than anything Y/N wanted to be endlessly loved by Negan. She wanted to be his number one, but there was always that thought that she loved him more than he loved her. And he could never say anything to correct that because she was the loyal one. She was the one that stayed dedicated to him throughout. She was the one that gave up everything for him. He never did that. And he knew that.

“You’re the only thing keeping me going,” Negan slurred, stating the first thing that was on his mind. Outstretching his hand, he attempted to reach out for her to touch her. At The Sanctuary, this vision of her scared the hell out of him. Back then he realized he was going fucking nuts though and he was afraid of it. Now he accepted it. And he meant it. She was the only thing that was keeping him going.

“And that was always the problem,” she frowned, pushing her hands into her pockets disappointing him that she wouldn’t accept the gesture. “I was always there to lift you up when you were feeling down. But what about me? Who was there to lift me up when I was down? Not you. No, you left me whenever you got what you wanted from me. I made you whole again and you left me the second you got the chance. Our children were all that I had.”

“Please don’t say these things,” Negan begged feeling incredible amounts of guilt hearing these things all over again. “I fucked up so much, I did. But those four years together? We were so happy. They were some of the best years of my life. And when you, when we…” Negan paused when he went to mention what happened to her when she was bit, it made him tremor because he didn’t want to actually stress the fact that she died. “After we got married, the two of us were good. You know that we were happy.”

“Was I?” she questioned and it had Negan’s lips parting, a shuddering breath falling from them at the thought that she still wasn’t happy. “Do you think you made me happy in that short time?”

“I gave you the one thing you always wanted,” Negan claimed, his eyebrows furrowing when she smirked and lowered her head. “More than anything, you wanted to be married to me. That’s what you always wanted. You wanted to be my wife.”

“I wanted you to love me as much as I loved you,” she corrected him, tears burning at her eyes when she couldn’t even stand to look at him in that moment. “That’s what I wanted more than anything Negan.”

“I…” Negan paused, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat when she lifted her head, her eyes narrowing out at him. “I tried.”

“And that was the problem,” she acknowledged letting out a long sigh, folding her arms out in front of her chest. “You tried, but you never did. I loved you more and you know that. I was your good luck charm Negan. Just like you always told me. And I was your compass. I led you to your happiness. And you?” she had to stop when her emotions got the best of her. “Well loving you led me to my grave.”

Hearing that broke Negan with his breathing labored when she stepped further back away from the jail cell, “I love you Negan. I’ve always loved you. I gave up myself in order to make you happy. And in a way it was my fault for sticking around as long as I did. I saw it in the way you looked at me. From the start I did,” she explained, sliding down onto the ground and resting her back against the wall. Staring down at her, Negan bit down on his bottom lip starting to realize that this was his way of punishing himself again. “You were just trying to force yourself to love me. I think you wanted to. And for a while you believed it. But I knew you were never truly mine. You were always Lucille’s. God, I just loved you so fucking much. You were the first person that made me feel like I wasn’t alone in this world. I had nothing and then suddenly I had everything. I knew better than to believe in happy endings. I was always destined to be miserable. Some people get lucky in life, that wasn’t me.”

“I don’t think you realize Y/N, but you were my happy ending,” Negan whispered, lowering down on the ground, still clasping tightly to the bars. “I could have had the perfect life. The life that I always wanted and more. Because you, you were everything right in this world. The sad thing is knowing that everything you’re saying, I know you believed. I was the one destined to be miserable because the moment I let you slip through my fingers I made the biggest mistake of my life. God proved that to me again and again. The problem was always me. Never you.”

Reasoning these things out loud, Negan’s tears burned at his eyes and he whimpered, “You asked one thing from me. And I couldn’t even give you that because I’m the poison,” Negan admitted, his throat tensing up when he let out a tremoring exhale. “Our children are parentless now because of my bad decisions. And now that you’re gone, I’m holding onto this memory of you. That was my problem, I could never fucking let you go. You always deserved better than me and I knew that.”

Squeezing his fingers tightly to the bars, Negan shook his head and let out a hiss, “You’re not real. You were never real. I’ve been doing to this vision of you what I did to Y/N the whole time she was alive. I kept her miserable and heart broken. When she was alive, I clung on just enough to make sure that she was always there because she was my safety net. The thing that made me feel protected. When the truth is that I should have been alone the whole time. Both Lucille and Y/N deserved better than me.”

Rocking where he was seated, Negan shook his head and noticed the way his vision of her stood slowly, “Even in death I can’t allow her peace because I always counted on her to be the person to fix me. To make me feel whole.”

Dropping back on the floor, Negan looked up at the ceiling and huffed loudly, “I would beg for you to stay, but I know you won’t. Because now more than ever I’m realizing I’m alone and I’m always going to be alone. And that’s my fucking fault. I would do anything to keep you here, but you were never here to begin with.”

For so long he was confused about the visions he was having of Y/N. But the longer he was here, the more he began to realize the image of Y/N was something that his brain conjured up in order to keep him from breaking. More than anything, he needed to have her in his life, so that’s what his brain did. He created a version of her to keep himself from breaking down.

“She would be so disappointed in the man that I remained and I know that. And now that I’m here, I’m too much of a chicken shit to kill myself even though more than anything I want to be with her and Lucille. But I’m scared. Scared of the unknown and it breaks me even more to know that the two people that made me feel the most alive are fucking gone. I deserve this. I deserve to be alone. After everything I did, this is my perfect ending.”

“I almost feel bad for you,” Negan heard the sound of his own voice and he lifted his head to see The Sanctuary version of himself standing before him at the bars. Great. Now he was seeing himself. He really was batshit. “You had a chance at a new life and you picked me. But that’s what you always did. You picked yourself first. Now look at you.”

Hearing the familiar whistle that he started with The Saviors, Negan tipped his head to the side to watch his vision of himself head over to his vision of Y/N, “Even being a figment of your imagination the girl is too afraid to leave you because of what you might become. The one thing that kept you grounded disappearing after this long? How are you gonna survive with her gone?”

Slamming his head back against the ground, Negan winced with his eyes squeezing shut. Hitting his head several more times had an aching pain growing there. It was so rough that he was certain another hit would knock him unconscious like he had done before.

Turning his head to the side Negan watched the image of Y/N fade before his eyes and he let out a cry, “She was never here to begin with.”

Everything hurt and he knew after this moment he would truly never see Y/N again. Letting out a roar of anger, Negan threw his head back one final time looking to escape his agony if only for a short amount of time. And with one final successful smack of his head against the concrete it led to him blacking out allowing the loneliness to finally engulf him.

----

The sound of something shattering pulled Negan from his slumber with his eyes snapping open. Frowning, Negan lifted his hand and ran it down over the front of his face. It had been quite some time since Rick went missing and the vision Negan had of Y/N finally left him. Sleeping was the only escape he truly got from reality. Mother nature was too cruel to take him from this world, so each day grew longer and lonelier. But he was living with it. With Rick gone, Negan had little to no interaction with the people of Alexandria.

Most days were spent with him lying on the floor of his cell listening. Many Alexandrians would come to his window to mock him. It was something that Rick’s presence had kept from happening, but now both adults and children poked fun at him. Day and night. But he just accepted his fate.

Thankfully the only people that seemed to come down to give him things were Gabriel and Siddiq so he was safe in that area but it didn’t stop people from threatening him through his window. Urging him to finish the job with trying to kill himself.

After Rick went missing and was assumed dead, it just didn’t matter anymore to people. Rick wasn’t there to preach about his goodness and why Negan was there. He was pretty certain that the only reason he was still alive was for Michonne to honor Rick in her own way. But she really didn’t like coming near him either. And he didn’t blame her. There were no doubts that the sight of him likely brought back bad memories for her.

Disappointment flooded Negan’s veins every time he woke up because it just proved another day unsuccessful at Negan finally getting what he wanted in being dead. Never did he pick up eating again. There was no sense in it. His body was suffering. Both physically and mentally, but it was better in his opinion to go out this way than to allow himself to suffer longer. Eating meant more years spent to himself. If he withered away, then maybe one day he would be allowed the gift of no longer being here. Because killing himself wasn’t an option. The best he got out of his attempts was just a headache or a sore throat. So starving himself became a new thing for him. Really, he didn’t even crave food anymore. There was an ache in his stomach, but his body came to terms with how things really were.

Grumbling to himself, Negan rolled off the cot he was laying on allowing his body to smack up against the floor. Gabriel was trying hard to get Negan to eat, but he was failing. Depression ate away at Negan once he finally realized that he lost everything. He was never leaving this place. He was never seeing his children again and he would never escape his own thoughts. Although, he did have to give credit to Gabriel’s persistence. He was trying. He kept trying. But nothing was really working.

Groaning out, Negan heard the sound of the door being very slowly pulled open and he huffed, “Gabey boy, I don’t know what you’re coming down here with now, but I want none of it. So just leave me alone.”

Silence followed along with the door closing and Negan rolled on his side to look at the door. His eyes weren’t adjusted yet, but the silhouette was different. Narrowing his eyes, he saw that the smaller frame was frozen in place.

“Daddy?” hearing the faint voice had Negan scrambling to get to his knees, swiftly crawling to the bars of his cell when the dark figure stepped forward into the light that was showing through the cracks in his window. Finally seeing Evie’s face had Negan letting out a tremoring breath.

“Evie?” Negan muttered her name, a whimper falling from his throat at the sight of her. It had been over two years since he had seen her, but he could see the worry in her eyes while she stared out at him. Fear started to set in. What if this was a vision he was creating of her. She was older, but it wasn’t that hard to imagine what she would look like older for him. “Is that really you?”

Nodding, it didn’t look like she knew what to say while she stood a good distance away from him. Waving his hand, he urged her to him, but she looked back at the door almost worried that someone would come and find them.

“Let me see you,” Negan begged, his voice cracking when she stepped in closer to his cell. Once she was close enough he lifted up on his knees and outstretched his shaky palm. At first it seemed like she was nervous for him to touch her before Negan palmed in over the side of her young features. By the warmth against his palm, he could tell that this was real and not another one of his visions. “It’s really you baby girl.”

As soon as realization set in, tears started to fall from Negan’s eyes, “Look at you. You’re so beautiful. You got so tall.”

Closing her eyes, Evie leaned into Negan’s touch and let out a tremoring breath. Tears were burning at Negan’s flesh having her there with him. It was the first time that he was able to touch someone in so long and he never thought he would be able to see either of his children again, “Evie, I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

Starting to sob, Negan saw her hazel eyes flutter to an open and she stepped in closer to his cell, “I was so mean the last time we saw each other. Everything I said back then, I was so wrong. The problem was never you, it was always me. You are perfect. In every way possible. And I’ve always been so proud of you. I love you so much and I should have listened to you all along. I’m so sorry.”

Setting her bag down at her side, Evie uneasily lifted her hand to curl her fingers around Negan’s wrist. Her fingers squeezed at his wrist and he let out another whimper having the gentle caress of her touch over his flesh.

“You need to know that I love you,” Negan was desperate to get everything out all at once. “What I said was just me angry and I was a mess. You’re the best thing I’ve ever done with my life.”

“You don’t mean that,” she frowned and Negan immediately shook his head, outstretching his other hand to cup her face in his hands lovingly.

“I do mean that. I mean that so much. I never wanted something more in my life,” Negan hushed her, his thumbs sweeping over her cheeks. “When I told you that you were daddy’s little dream come true, I meant it. You mean everything to me Evie. I love you so much. And no matter what happens in the future, I need you to know that. You were always the best of me. Daddy just made so many bad, very poor decisions and you should have always been the first thing on my list.”

Hearing the sound of her crying broke his heart and he knew that he shouldn’t have been unloading on her like this, but he needed to get this all out before she left because he didn’t know how much time he had left with her, “You were taking care of me back at The Sanctuary and you should have never had to do that. I let my emotions eat me whole and I never meant the negative things that I said. Truth is? I’ve never been a good enough father to you. You deserved so much better than me and I know that. Both you and your mother. But I don’t regret having you. I love you more than anything.”

Getting up onto his feet, Negan pulled her closer to the cell and did his best to hug her. It was uncomfortable and it wasn’t exactly a real hug, but he was holding her as best as he could. Pressing a loving kiss to her forehead, Negan exhaled loudly and wondered if he was dreaming.

“How are you here?” Negan wondered, his words vibrating against her skin with her head resting against the center of his chest. “Did they let you come in here?”

“People have been too busy with other things,” she explained, tipping her head back. Her tears had soaked at his shirt and with those that were left he lifted his hand to swipe at them with his thumb. “I saw that no one has been on your door for a while the last few days. They come for your meals, but other than that, no one. I made sure it was the same way for a while before I took my chance.”

“My smart, brave little girl,” Negan brushed his fingers through her dark hair and let out a shuddering breath. “I never thought I would see you again.”

“I thought the same thing,” she explained with a broken sound, her eyes showing the sadness that lingered in them. Looking him over, she let out a worried breath and shook her head. “You’re so skinny.”

“Hey, don’t worry about me,” Negan hushed her, offering up a weak smile. He could only imagine how awful he looked right now. Even though he assured her to not worry about him, he could see by the way that she was eyeing him over that she was shocked by his appearance.

“Daddy…” her bottom lip tremored, but Negan tried to get her to look him in the eyes so she wouldn’t worry about him.

“Are they taking care of you?” Negan questioned, his hands shaking with him still having a hard time believing that she was actually standing there before him.

“As well as strangers can,” Evie was honest, with a tip of her head. “They aren’t like you or mommy. But they try.”

“That’s good,” Negan nodded his head about, his heart hammering in his chest. The sound of footsteps was heard and Negan motioned her to be quiet. They both waited in panic for someone to find her down there, but after they waited a minute or so they realized that they were safe.

“I’ve heard things,” she began, something changing in her expression when she eyed Negan over. He knew that he had to look very different to her. Hell, he had dropped so much weight and he had never had a beard this big when he was around her or his hair this short. “Lots of things.”

“I…I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I’m sure by now you know that daddy isn’t the best of men,” Negan contemplated whatever it was she was speaking about, but he knew that he couldn’t hide the things that he had done from her. “I’ve done some really horrible things…”

“I know,” she confessed with a loud sigh and there was a sense of disappointment that flooded over her young features. “But that’s not why I’m here. I…heard you tried to kill yourself. A few times. And that you aren’t eating…”

“You…” Negan’s words came to a stop when he realized that his daughter knew what he had done leaving him feeling ashamed. Evie was young, but not young enough to not understand the things that he had done. The things that he was doing. “I was really sad Evie. I was in a dark place and I didn’t think there was anything else for me to do. It’s hard for me to see the point even now.”

“You can’t do that,” Evie firmly stated with a small frown when she reached for her bag. Leaving him for a minute had him letting out a panicked breath because he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. Unzipping the bag, she pulled out a small container and she held it in front of him. Getting the lid off of it, he saw that there was a cupcake inside of it along with a few cookies. “Ms. Carol made these for me and I asked her if I could have a few before tonight.”

“Tonight?” Negan’s eyebrow arched in curiosity.

“It’s my birthday today,” she announced, her bottom lip tremoring when he let out a sharp exhale. “I turn thirteen today. She’s been really good to both Nathan and I. Making things for us when it was our birthdays.”

“Oh baby,” Negan outstretched his hand letting out a tremoring breath at the idea that it was her birthday. “Thirteen? Geez. Where has the time gone? I’m sorry. I didn’t know what day it was down here. Happy birthday baby girl.”

“Thanks,” she didn’t say much, she just half smiled and nodded down toward the container that she brought. “I wanted to give these to you. So you have something to eat that’s good. I don’t know what they are feeding you here.”

“Oh honey, I can’t take your food,” Negan denied, shaking his head in response, but she pushed them into his lower abdomen. “Baby, they are for your birthday. And they shouldn’t be wasted on me because they were made for you.”

“Dad, please,” she begged seeing the expression changing behind Negan’s eyes. “They said you weren’t eating. Please eat them for me. I know you don’t want to be here, but I can’t lose you. Knowing that you are here and not being able to see you is better than knowing that you are gone forever like mom. So please…stop trying to kill yourself and eat. For me.”

Hearing her begging him to eat had Negan’s arms dropping down at his sides, his jaw flexing when she started breaking down into tears, “Please. Please eat.”

“Okay baby,” Negan cried in return, shakily reaching out to grab one of the cookies that she brought. Taking a small bite had her lowering her head and he cleared his throat when he swallowed it down. When she looked to him again, he took another bite and she whimpered.

“Promise me you won’t do it again,” she spoke in a desperate tone having Negan’s whole body tensing up. “If you really love me and you mean all the things that you said, promise me that you won’t try to kill yourself again. Promise me that you will start eating.”

Everything tightened up and it felt like all the air left his lungs with his daughter sobbing before him. Taking the container from her hand, Negan set it down on the ground and pulled her closer to him again so he could hold her with her sobbing against the center of his chest. He couldn’t imagine it was very comfortable for her doing this through the bars of his cell door, but they were doing their best.

“I know you hate it here, but you can’t die,” she declared and it had Negan’s heart-breaking hearing her breaking down at the idea of him dying. Her palm pushed into the center of his chest, her head tipping back up to stare up at him with misery in her eyes. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” Negan assured her finally, nuzzling his nose in against the top of her head. “I promise you I won’t hurt myself again and I will start eating.”

“Do you mean it?” she dropped her head back to look up at him with tears in her eyes again. “I already lost mom and I can’t lose you too. I don’t care what happened or how mad I’ve been at you. You can’t die on me. You can’t die on us. We need you.”

“I mean it,” Negan pulled her in toward him again caressing his fingers against the back of her neck while she calmed down. There were a lot of tears. So much in fact that he was worried people would hear them, but thankfully they never did. It took a while, but by the time that they both relaxed, they were sitting on the ground next to each other. They both had their backs against the wall with the cell bars between them. Negan was eating one of the cookies while they sat in silence. It was hard to eat, but he was forcing himself to eat for her. After so long with nothing in his stomach, it didn’t feel great finally eating something down. Plus the cookies were dry, but he was doing his best to appease her. “So…you’re thirteen, huh?”

“Yeah,” she smirked, sliding her palm beneath the cell bars. Her fingers hooked with Negan’s and it took his breath away. Squeezing her fingers tighter with his, Negan tipped his head back and stared out at her for a long moment. “How does it feel to be an old fart?”

“I mean it feels exactly like that,” Negan snorted hearing her giggle and he reached up with his free hand to stroke down over his longer beard. “I probably look like an old fart with this. I need to shave it.”

“I think so,” she agreed with him, nodding toward the container that she gave him. “You should eat the cupcake.”

“Only if you split it with me,” Negan muttered getting a glare in response, but he didn’t care. “It only feels right to have a cake with my daughter on her birthday.”

“Fine,” she grumbled watching Negan shakily break the cupcake in half before being careful in the way that he handed her over the other half of the cupcake. Watching her take a bite made him smile before he uneasily lifted his half to take a similar sized bite.

There was silence between them which upset Negan. There was so much he wanted to say but he didn’t want to overwhelm her with all the things that he was thinking.

“Do you remember when we went to Disney?” Negan finally spoke uneasily taking another bite of the cupcake she gave him. He was actually surprised that Carol made it taste as good as she did with each bite he took.

“Of course,” she smirked noticing that Negan was staring at her. “Why?”

“Just with it being your birthday, it got me thinking about that. It’s just one of my favorite memories. That whole trip was,” Negan explained with a crack of a smile tugging at his lips. “You had so much energy. You kept going and going. I didn’t know how I was gonna keep up with you, but it was amazing.”

“It’s when I gave you that locket,” she pointed toward his neck and he frowned. His long eyelashes fluttered and he had to force himself to look away from her. “What?”

“Uhm, they took it from me when I got here,” Negan responded seeing the upset expression that she gave when she swallowed down hard. “They took the locket and my bracelet when I was unconscious. I don’t know why. I think they thought I would use it as a weapon or something to escape.”

“Would you?” she inquired, her eyebrow arching in curiosity and he shook his head. “Then why didn’t they give it to you?”

“Because I’m not a good man Evie,” Negan reminded her with a frown, hating to admit that to her, but it was the best way he could explain things to her. “They don’t trust me.”

“How can I help you?” Evie blurt out finishing with her last bite of the cupcake that Negan had given her.

“You just being here has helped me more than you will ever know,” Negan assured her with a wink realizing that he felt so incredibly lucky to spend this time with Evie when he thought he was never going to see her again. “Just getting to be with you on your birthday? That’s a dream come true for me. I never thought I would see you again and here you are.”

“I mean escape,” she breathed out and it made Negan immediately shake his head. Hearing that scared him because he didn’t want the people in Alexandria to hear that. By how they mocked him at his window, he was worried that if they heard her say that they would hurt her. “You can’t stay here like this.”

“I can and I will,” Negan concluded, wiping at his bottom lip after he finished the cupcake. “I don’t want you to do anything to try to get me out of here. You and your brother are safe here. You have people taking care of you. They are feeding you. You look good. I can’t have you risk getting hurt trying to get me out of here. I won’t allow that to happen.”

“But Nathan and I should be with you,” she stressed, her face scrunching up and she shook her head. His answer upset her, but he didn’t care. At least in this situation he knew that she would be safe. The last thing he wanted was to put her in harm’s way. “We are meant to be with you, not these people.”

“You are always with me Evie,” Negan insisted outstretching his hand to place it over hers to give it a firm squeeze. “I’m right here. We’re together even though we’re apart. You don’t know how people will react toward me or you if they think I’m gonna try to break out. So don’t do that.”

“But this is wrong daddy,” she was upset that he didn’t want her helping him, but it panicked him to think what people would do if they ever heard this kind of discussion. “We should be together.”

“I did this to myself Evie. And I’m sorry I put your brother and you in this position,” Negan apologized, turning to face her while keeping his fingers hooked with hers. “But this is the way things have to be. Or else we could be in danger. I don’t know what’s out there.”

“The farm,” she began and Negan hushed her, looking up toward the window that was in his cell. “It could still be good.”

“But we don’t know that,” Negan responded with a long sigh, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration toward himself that he allowed her to even begin to think that escaping was an option. It wasn’t. “Even now, I don’t know if you’re gonna be able to sneak in here to see me again. Which is why I need to stress to you how much this means to me. To be able to see you? It’s been amazing. And I love you so fucking much.”

“I don’t want this to be the last time I see you,” she whimpered and it broke his heart to hear her say it like she did. After all he did and said, to see that she still felt this way made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. “I’m upset with you, but you’re my dad and I love you.”

“And I love you,” Negan winked, a tired smile tugging at his lips. Of course there were going to be hurt feelings, but just having her tell him that she loved him? That’s all he needed to hear and more. More than anything he had to protect her and if it meant getting his shit back together, then he would. Because the last thing he needed was her putting herself in harm’s way. “But I made a promise to you. I won’t hurt myself and I will start eating again. For you. Okay?”

“Okay,” she didn’t know what else to say with Negan pushing his hands between the bars to capture her jaw between his thumb and index finger. It made her smile with the way he stared out at her. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” Negan winked, sweeping his thumb over her jawline before sighing loudly. Pressing his forehead against hers through the opening of the bars, Negan let out a tremoring breath realizing how much he missed his daughter. “Your mother would be so proud of you.”

A hurt exhale fell from her lips when she lowered her head. What he said seemed to upset her and she bit down on her bottom lip. Looking back to her bag, she slid away from Negan and he almost reached for her to keep her where she was, but he didn’t want to force her to stay there. If she wanted to leave, that was her right. Instead of leaving, she opened the bag and grabbed something from inside of it. Sliding it underneath the cell bars had Negan’s eyes follow the movement and he reached out to grab it. Noticing that it was a piece of paper, Negan unfolded it and when he saw what it was he let out a tense breath realizing that Evie was obviously drawing him and Y/N together from the photo that he had kept with him at The Sanctuary.

“I kept the photos that you had. I found your jacket that they had here and I pulled them out so I wouldn’t forget what you or mom looked like,” she confessed, her face scrunching up when she realized that Negan started to cry again over the drawing that she had done. There were faint footsteps, so she remained quiet for a moment before speaking up again. With a trembling hand, Negan pulled the drawing closer to his face and smiled. “I don’t want you to forget her face either.”

“Thank you,” Negan felt the warmth of his tears sliding down his face. Folding the paper back up, he stuck it in his pocket and realized that he would have to find a way to hide it so no one knew that Evie had been here. “I’ll keep this safely with me.”

“You’re not upset with me taking the photos, are you?” she wondered pulling her knees to her chest when she sat before him on the ground. “I know that they were yours, but I wanted them after they told me that I would never see you again. They were cleaning out this area, I saw your jacket and I just took them before they could see.”

“You really are your father’s daughter,” Negan winked which made her smile when he acknowledged her quick hands. “You know I would never be mad at you for that. I’m glad that you have them and they aren’t withering away somewhere. Although…”

“What?” Evie tipped her head to the side and looked curious to what he was about to say.

“Did you see the locket and the bracelet?” Negan inquired, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he brought up the things that he had mentioned to Rick a while back. “They took everything from me when I first got here.”

“No,” she shook her head and Negan let out a disappointed breath. “Why?”

“Why?” Negan cracked a smile, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. “Because I don’t want to forget your face either. That locket belongs here. It’s where it was always meant to be. And the bracelet? The bracelet connects me to you and your mother.”

“And you want to be close to us?” Evie muttered, her features showing clear confusion and he nodded his head. “You actually want those things?”

“Of course I want those things,” Negan slid in closer to her, stretching his hand out to brush her hair away from her eyes. “I never said it enough, but you are everything to me Evie. I should have told your mother that more often too when she was here. How amazing she was. How she was everything and more. You both were. You still are.”

“I’m sorry I let you down,” Evie lowered her head leaving Negan to let out a heavy exhale feeling as if he had just been kicked in the gut.

“No! No, Evie. You never let me down. I let you down,” Negan asserted, his throat tensing up and the vein at the side of his neck slightly bulging. “Listen to me. There was never anything wrong with you. If anything I am so…so proud of you. Please never think anything else. I’m not a good man Evie, I never was and I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best version of myself for you. I should have been the best of me for you. I let you down. Not the other way around.”

There were the tears again. They both wanted to say so much but it sounded like things were getting busy outside the window and Evie lowered her head allowing Negan to pull her in closer so he could press a kiss over her forehead.

“I should probably leave before people start getting back and someone realizes I’m here,” she grew disappointed, slowly pulling herself up from the floor and he did the same, having some trouble with his back when he did. Dumping out the rest of the cookies on his bed, Negan handed her over the container and gave her a wink. “I really do love you daddy. No matter how much I’ve been hurt, I still love you.”

“And I’m the luckiest man in the world to know that you still love me and that I’m your dad,” Negan tremored, reaching out to brush her dark hair out of her eyes once more. “I love you so much Evie. Never forget that.”

Bringing her in close one more time, Negan let a kiss linger over her forehead before allowing her to step back. When she stopped at the door, she reached for the knob and looked back at Negan with something different in her eyes.

Heading back toward Negan, Evie noticed that Negan’s breathing grew louder. Reaching up, Evie grabbed something that was around her neck. Pulling it up carefully, she got it over her head before extending it out before Negan. A shuddering breath fell from Negan’s lips when he saw that it was his locket that Evie had given him. The rings he had there were still on it and it surprised him to see that she had it.

“I didn’t think you originally wanted these. I’m sorry I lied to you,” Evie apologized holding out the locket further allowing Negan to accept it in his tremoring fingers. Once the light hit it, the design shined brightly. Shaking through every movement, Negan managed to open up the locket. A smile tugged at his tired features when he saw the photos inside. “I took these too when I found your jacket. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again and they…they smelled like your cologne still. It was the closest thing to being near you without stealing the jacket. I know I couldn’t get away with that.”

Closing the locket, Negan looked at the rings and stroked his fingers over the one he had given Y/N when they got married, “Your mother wanted me to give you this ring to remember her by. I should have given it to you, but I just…”

“You couldn’t let her go,” Evie finished for him drawing Negan’s eyes to lift up to hers and he realized they were both still crying but trying to get through everything. “I get it. That’s meant to be with you. It was always meant to be with you.”

Stepping forward, Evie’s hands placed over his wrist and she urged them up for Negan to put the locket back on allowing it to rest at the center of his chest where it had been previously, “Don’t lose it this time, okay?”

“I promise,” Negan cried seeing her pushing up the sleeve of her jacket to roll down the bracelet that was his. Handing it over to him had him swallowing down hard. “Are you sure? You don’t want this to keep you safe?”

“You need it. So that way you know that I still need you here,” Evie grabbed his wrist and pushed the bracelet back over his arm. Stroking her fingers over the back of Negan’s hand had him exhaling loudly. “I love you daddy. And if I never see you again, I hope you realize how much I still need you. How much Nathan still needs you.”

“I love you so much,” Negan realized that this was their final goodbye and it broke him to think that he may never see her again. Stepping forward, he pulled her in so he could do his best to squeeze her tightly to him. “You were always the best of me and your mother. And your mother? She will always live on through you. I hope you know that. She would be so very proud of you.”

When Evie stepped away from him, he could see that she was sad, but she sucked in a sharp breath of air and nodded her head slowly. Staring out at Negan, she let her fingers slowly slip from his and she headed for the door.

Watching her leave was hard. Nothing hurt more since being here than watching Evie leave the room. At first he did his best to try to hold it together, but the longer she was away, the sadder he grew leaving him a sobbing mess on his cot. After everything he’d been through, he missed her so much and getting that small amount of time with her made him realize just how much he wanted her in his life.

-----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @felicity291 @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

@akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03

@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@neganswoman @ravenrose18

#Negan #Negan fanfiction #The Walking Dead #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan Smith #twd fanfiction #negan x reader #negan x you

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st0nedghostygorl · 11 months ago

Text

This is my first smutty story in the longest time so please be kind. I ended up having a dream after waking up and discovering I missed Hans Valentine’s live. I woke up and had to write it out, so this is what I came up with.

⚠️18+ this contains material not suitable for minors. ⚠️ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

Summary- D&D turned naughty.

Pairing: Han Jisung x Reader

Genres smut, friends to lovers

Triggers- Sex while stoned, choking, rough sex, a hint of cnc

Here we go you guys, I hope you like it.

It was a gloomy rainy day but that meant it was perfect. Today was D&D day. With your favorite people that you haven’t seen in a while because of their busy schedules.

You get your favorite dice together and pack your bag. You make sure you have your famous pokemon tin ready and make sure you grab a new lighter. You are sporting a black zip up raincoat with just a shirt on under with nice jeans that accentuate your curves and some cool sneakers. Your hair down and curled.

You arrive and the house is already alive. Happiness and light are pouring out of the windows. It makes your heart swell. Oh how badly you missed being here. Han opens the door “Y/N! You finally made it!!” moving to the side of the door so you can make your way through. But you are frozen, he’s wearing your favorite yellow shirt, the one that makes your stomach flip, with a flannel tied around his waist with black jeans. You shyly blush and head in. You can’t look at him for long or you aren’t responsible for your actions.

You set your stuff down and take your tin out. Yelling to Seungmin to get his butt over here and don’t make you smoke alone. He bounces over in a purple hoodie, his hair a little disheveled, a big grin on his face. You take out your famous Pokémon card tin to reveal several blunts. “Jesus these are so skinny I swear I didn’t roll these.” And it’s true, you didn’t. Your friend rolled them since they can do it better. Han pipes in “with the hybrid you get you don’t need a lot so it’s a good thing” you laugh and nod because you know it’s true. With the strain you get for dnd you’d be bouncing off the walls in no time. You hand one to Seungmin and head outside into the rain. You have to pass Han and you gently motion him to come with. You guys smoke outside huddled under the little awning outside the back door. It felt so good to be there with them again. Seungmin is talking about what could happen in the session today, wondering if today is the day that we slay the big dragon. Or if it is more story building which would be fine because it's been a while since we played in this world, or maybe a dungeon crawl. He goes on with possibilities and you just smile, leaning against the wall, taking in the sight. The smell of the two boys, the smell of the rain, the smell of the familiar house. You were never happier than being here with them.

When the three of you were done, you followed Han into the maze of their apartment and got turned around. You try to yell out for help but it’s a hoarse voice and only one could hear. He pokes his head out offering a silly smile to you that makes your panic erase instantly. You follow him out of the maze and you figure out your misstep. Even though you’ve been here multiple times, the layout is crap and they all have stuff EVERYWHERE. “OOOHHHH it’s a left. Got it.” You hear Han chuckle as he leads you to the table and sits across from you.

Bang Chan is the Dm, of course. They roped Hyunjin into playing along with Felix. Sometimes I.N, Lee Know and Changbin make appearances but they have characters that can come in and out of the story easy. You play for the next few hours laughing and smiling and enjoying yourself. Happy to see the boys relax after so long.

After the session you’re about to head to the bathroom to freshen up when you’re pulled into a room. The bedrooms are like mini studio apartments. A little kitchenette with two cabinets on the bottom and two on top, a bed with a window and a nice bathroom with a claw foot tub and a separate standing shower.

You are pushed into the counters and you see Hans face pop into your field of vision. “Han, what’s going on?” asking confused because its even darker in the room then out in the hallway. “Sorry Y/N I could stop thinking about you during that session. You came here looking so nice and it’s been a while since I’ve seen you” you giggle thinking you were the only one. His face is only a short distance away from yours.

You kiss him. He’s stunned. You peck his lips for a couple of seconds until he kisses you back. He kisses you so deep a rumble of a growl comes up his throat making you weak to your knees. He boosts you up so you’re sitting on the counter now. Never disconnecting your lips. His hands run down your sides and he pulls you closer so there’s no room between you both. You whimper into his mouth while he sports a cocky grin.

It’s dark in the room but the sparks between you are flying. He sucks little spots into your neck while you softly grind into him. Sometimes he breaks contact to drop his head for a second and lets out a moan himself from the friction you are creating. You pull his face into yours and kiss him. While he is distracted you reach for his zipper. He moans into your mouth. “Ji, is this okay?” pulling away slightly, asking him because you never thought that this would happen. He has been your friend for so long, but you always wanted him to be more. He breaks your train of thought with a breathy exhale “fuck, yes Y/N, if you’re okay with it” moving to kissing your neck “fuck yes please I can’t stand it another second” shaking your head a little trying to concentrate atleast for a second.

With that his zipper is forgotten and he has tunnel vision only for you. He yanks down your pants, helping lift you off the counter just for a second. His fingers find your panties and they push them to the side. Finding your bundle of nerves your head hits the upper cabinets softly. Eyes rolling back into your skull. “Jisung plleeaaseee” you draw out while he’s teasing your clit.

He sinks one finger into your wetness without warning and the noise that came out of your mouth has him almost cumming in his pants. “Fuck” he has to kiss you. He pins you down on the counter with his hand on your hip. His fingers digging into your soft flesh, while with his other hand his finger hits your g spot. You gasp into his mouth and your hands find his hair. You grip into his hair lightly and deepen the kiss. While you grip his hair he slips in another finger “fuck! More…. please more….” you beg. He bends down so he is eye level to your wetness and uses his free hand to spread your legs further so he could have better access. But you don’t want his hand there. You grab his hand off your thigh and make him reach, placing it around your throat. He looks at you for any doubts and you silently beg him with your eyes. You pout your lip and he is overcome, pushing your head into the upper cabinets he’s choking you like your life depends on it, adding a third finger you cum immediately covering your mouth with your own hand. Your chest is heaving while you’re coming down from your own high. The weed high long forgotten. He comes to kiss you and you wrap your arms around his strong shoulders. Him fully clothed still while you are winnie the poo-ing.

He picks you up and carries you to the bed. He is so tempted to hit record on his recording equipment so he could memorize your moans but that’ll be for another day. “I need you jisung, fuck me…. fuck me please” through the haze of your first orgasm. You spread your legs open on the edge of the bed while taking off your shirt. Han clumsily takes off his pants and the flannel that was tied to his waist. But smoothly rips off his shirt in one motion. You groan and lean back when you see his muscles.

You always felt safe in his arms. You always had anxiety but somehow he was able to quiet your mind. Like right now, with any other person you’d be uncomfortable and freaking out but him? He doesn’t make you doubt a single goddamn thing. You know this is right. You know you want this. You want him. You just want to be close to him.You would give him anything for his pleasure.

He lays you both down so you are on your sides facing each other and kisses you on the lips. Hand trailing down your side down your leg he hooks your leg over his hip. He leaves a trail of goosebumps wherever he touches. And you let the feeling take over you and you completely relax into his bed. It’s fluffy and warm and smells undeniably like him. You are intoxicated just on his scent. You realized you got distracted when his hard length runs against your wetness. A gasp escapes your mouth and he looks at you. You make eye contact and you smile softly at him blushing that this is finally happening. You have Han in your arms and his sole focus is on you. You run your hand over his bangs and tuck his hair behind his ear and he slowly pushes into you. His eyes never leave yours, your mouth drops open in a silent scream. He pushes in deeper and your head is thrown back into the comforter while he plays with your clit. You feel like you are levitating. He slowly bottoms out and kisses you so deeply. He speaks for the first time in a while “Y/N, you are so beautiful. So so so beautiful. You should see yourself. Stunning. I can’t, I can’t think of any other word” shaking his head a little trying to clear the fog. His voice is coming from down deep and is gruff, like his morning voice but somehow deeper. And with your fronts pressed together you can feel the reverb in his chest and your hand absentmindedly goes straight to it. Covering a bit of his heart with the tips of your fingertips, your palm covers his middle. He speaks again “I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” Seeing your eyes close and you softly smile when you feel his voice in his chest he continues “I want to keep you, never let you leave this bed. Even when I’m not here I want to know that you are safe and warm inside my bed. Come back to you and have it smell like you” he kisses the side of your face all over, while your nodding in agreement. You never want to leave this bed. Please don’t take me away. Don’t make me leave, you think. Tears escape your eyes because you missed him so much. He was gone for longer then he usually is which might be why you both are jumping each other. Don’t they say distance makes the heart grow fonder?

Han starts pulling out and going back in a bit faster. “Don’t…..stop…… don’t stop talking please, keep….. fuck….. keep talking to me please” you’re practically begging by the time you get your message across. He growls “fuck Y/N” it’s like a switch flipped in him. He pins you to the bed, your back flat against it. “Keep talking to you? Do you get off to the sound of my voice?” Your legs wrapped around his itty bitty waist and follows your lead from before. His hand wraps around your throat “I should have guessed, a quiet girl like yourself would love rough kinky sex” licking his lips eyes focused on how well your core takes his circumference disappearing deeper and deeper.

It’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, him being hypnotized. You can see his veins popping out in his forearm out of the corner of your eye. His never leaving you, yours roll back in your head. “Oh do you like this? Me being rough and mean?” His free hand lands loudly on your asscheek and he squeezes your neck to make sure you remember it’s there, your head feeling light and floaty. “Using my voice to help you get closer?” He squeezes your throat a little bit harder “doing exactly what you wanted?” He uses his other hand to play with your clit again. You can feel his length drag in and out harder than before, making the friction all the sweeter. Using your position to help him, you are pinned with your ass in the air him fucking into you holding you down by your throat.

“Fuck… don’t stop” you can only muster three words because he is making your brain melt. You take your breasts into your own hands because his are busy with other things. Messaging your nipples, pulling them and twisting, your head goes further back into the bed and his grip on your neck goes a little harder. You can barely breathe and his pounding is relentless. You need just one more thing to push you over the edge that you are teetering. He leans over, never letting up his pace, whispering into your ear “be my good girl and come all over my cock. With my hand wrapped around your throat, do you wanna be my good girl?” By the time he’s done with his sentence only “yessssssyessssssyessss” could only come out of your mouth. You are practically slurring the s into the next yes just begging to finish. “Please please please make me cum fuck please Han please” a jumbled sentence just tumbles your mouth begging for that band to snap. He chokes you harder into the bed and starts slapping your clit. The roughness of the slap melts into the pleasure of his relentless pounding and you finally break. Screaming into the darkness you feel a wetness spread on your lower back and you can hear it leaking out of you. He is overcome with your surprise that he loses control and cums instantly. He pulls out at the last second and cums on your thigh.

He lets go of your throat and looks down “holy shit Y/N you just squirted” “ I did???” You brace yourself into your elbows. That’s as much movement you could muster. You could never do that with a dick, only with fingers. You giggle lightly when you realize. “Han, you just made me squirt all over your cock.” He chuckles. “Haha, yeah I did fuck yeah” he comes to your side and you both relax into the wet bed for a while.

You slowly slip into unconsciousness but hear the tub filling in the background. You feel arms around you and suddenly you are floating. You smell your favorite scent and feel the heat around you, nuzzling into his chest.

Han places you into the filling tub “Do not move”. You giggle not like you were going to anyways.

You perk up when you hear a familiar sound of a tin opening. You open your eyes finally when you smell one of your favorite scents. You see Han getting into the tub behind you and he is exhaling. Smoke fills around you. Both from the hot water of the filling tub and the smoke he just let out of his lungs. He passes you the blunt while you cuddle into his chest watching the water rise around you both. Neither of you speak. You don’t need to. There’s no awkwardness or uncomfortableness. He’s humming to himself lightly and you close your eyes. Handing the blunt back and forth, feeling his deep hum in the middle of your back.

Suddenly he’s enraptured with your breasts. Playing with them with both hands watching the water run off. You feel something poking into your lower back, you giggle. He grumbles as he realizes you’re chuckling at him. “Ready for another round so soon?” You ask coyly he answers in a deep voice right next to your ear “you have no idea what you do to me”

You take an inhale off the blunt and place it to the side. You turn around and straddle him making the water splash a bit, not that either of you minded. You lift his head up to meet yours and squish his cheeks a bit so you could open his mouth. You hover your mouth over his and exhale your smoke into his open mouth. You hear him inhale as his eyes roll back.

As much as you love him on top of you, you think you like being on top of him even more. You grind down as he exhales, making his breath hitch.

You grind feeling him get harder and harder by the second. His eyes never leave you. They trace from your eyes to the blush on your chest running up to your cheeks to your breasts squishing against his toned chest. He nearly faints when he sees your softness melt into his muscles.

You lift up a bit and shove your chest into his face, smothering him. The grunt he lets out is otherworldly and you entwine your fingers in his hair for better control over his face. Controlling his breath with your breasts.

He lets out a gasp and looks up at you with the most pleading eyes, silently begging you to take control over him. Make him yours. Make him the whiny little sub he so desperately wants to be.

You chuckle “oh Hannie, loves to fuck but loves to be fucked even more hm?” He lets out a hot breath blush covering his round cheekies “yeah maybe” he drops his eyes to your chest because he’s embarrassed?

You lift his head with a finger under your chin giving him the softest smile you could “good thing we can do both, any time you want”

This makes him perk up “Really? You’re okay with that?”

“For you I would. That’s what this is, something for BOTH of us.” Emphasizing that you also care about his needs rather than just your own. You don’t know what this is or where the night is going to take you. Even if it’s still night? You have no idea what time it is. All you know is that you need him in you again and you don’t care if you have to take the reins for a little while. Seeing him soft and powerless is equally as sexy as him trying to fuck his frustrations out on you.

“I’d like to try. I’d try everything with you” he admits and kisses your cheeks. Wrapping his arms around your waist and drags you against his fully hardened length. Making you both gasp.

You smile and push your cheek into his kissing embrace. “Then we will. All of it. Together.” You wrap your arms around his neck and move to kiss him on his mouth. Lightly for a minute but you both get distracted and he deepens the kiss first.

You both are hot from the water and stoned as hell. Entangled in the bathtub with a burnt out blunt next to you. You had no idea that this evening would take this turn but you are so happy to have been pulled into his room.

Your hand finds it way back into his hair while you start grinding again. You maneuver in the cramped space to slip him inside of you while you push his face into your breasts. You feel the groan inside of his chest more than hear it. You slowly move down his length keeping his face buried. When you bottom out you finally pull his face away.

“Oh my god oh my god Jesus fuck fuck me” comes out his mouth as soon as he’s pulled away. His eyes closed, lost in the feeling. You pull his hair lightly so his jaw is angled up and you kiss and lick all over his neck. You are slowly moving up and down his hard cock.

You move to whisper in his ear. “You like it when I use you? Just like you use me? How does it feel? How does it feel to suffocate on my tits while I ride you for my own pleasure? Hm? You like being the toy?” Using his own words against him he shudders, blush deepening in his round cheeks. “You keep talking like that, Y/N, I’m going to cum so fast” you can see his eyes roll back in his skull and it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

Your other hand wraps around his throat and his eyes spring open, his eyes pure black overcome with lust. You pull your other hand free from his hair and you move it down to his nipples. You start riding harder making water splash over the tub’s edge but neither of you care. You swear you can feel your wetness leak down your legs even though you are submerged in water. So much for a bath, it was supposed to make you clean but you ended up defiling it and making it filthy. He knew what he was doing climbing behind you but he never knew it would lead to this.

You twist his nipple while riding him to the tip and dropping down hard to the bottom. Choking him harder against the tub you make him stare into your eyes. “Do you like it when I take control? When you are putty under my hands? Hm? I don’t think anyone else would know what to do to you. I think I’m the only one who knows how to make you feel good. Just like you knew with me. Did you know I never squirted on a cock before? Only with fingers? How does that make you feel? Confident? But look at you now. A melted mess under my hands. I could let you suffocate for real and I think you’d come to haunt me as a ghost just to thank me.” and with those words you move forward to push your breasts back over his face. Keeping your hand choking him, you ride as hard as you can. And you feel his hot liquid coat your insides.

You let him go completely, letting his head gently rest on the back of the tub. Him a whimpering mess “I can’t take it anymore it’s too much” he whines while you are still riding him. “ I’m going to cum on your cock whether you like it or not” and with those last words you cum over his cock but to his surprise he comes again just from the pulsing of your pussy on his dick. He has to clamp his hand over his mouth to stifle a scream. While he fondles the first breast he could reach.

You both are frozen coming down from both your highs. You are panting on top of him,softening cock still in your pussy. He can feel both of your liquids running down him.

You say something first

“Are you okay?” Quickly ready to apologize, looking him over to make sure you didn’t harm him in any way. Ready to start crying.

“It’s okay it’s okay sssshhh Y/N, I’m okay. You didn’t hurt me.” Quickly grabbing your face between his hands to make you look at him. “Y/N that was the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed. Please I beg you to do that again at some point. We can go over everything later but trust me. Everything is good and we should be happy.” Talking quickly, trying to keep you from going into dom drop.

Tears escaping your eyes. You nod in agreement and can’t believe what you just did. He brushes the tears away with his thumbs never letting your face go. He kisses the tip of your nose, and helps you climb down off of him. He drains the tub but only to fill it again, lighting the forgotten blunt to the side and handing it to you. He helps wash your hair, your back, any place he can reach. When he’s done washing you, you help wash him. Passing the blunt back and forth until it’s just a butt.

#han jisung x reader #han jisung smut #han jisung imagines #han jisung

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