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pizzabox-box · 3 months ago

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The stakes are ramping up! Fasten your seat belts, people...

Blind Man's Bluff, Part five

Gustavo looked back at the exhausted man behind him on the rat. They were heading home after sitting through the premiere of the Pizza Tower movie. Normally, Peppino never even turned the channel to NTV (unless he had reason to suspect Noise was plotting something against him,) let alone go to the first showing of one of Noise's movies. But Noise had been acting off for months in ways only Peppino noticed, but couldn't understand, leading to Peppino also acting out of character. The little rabbit ear box in the dining area had been exclusively tuned to NTV since the explosion at Fake Peppino's, as the chef tried to glean a single clue to his rival's strange (for him) behavior.

He hadn't found anything. So they had gone to the theater, hoping for a chance to talk with Noise, who had been actively avoiding them, face to face. Peppino and Noise had had a confrontation in the lobby while Gustavo and Brick watched the final boss rush. Gustavo was particularly impressed with Fake Peppino's segment in the boss rush. The clone was never fully shown, but the fight played out in an extremely eerie way, visibly messing with Noise while never showing himself fully, even after a well-aimed bomb took out half the standing area on the Tower top, sending a mass of limbs, stonework and melting pseudough plummeting to the ground far below.

Gustavo wondered at both Noise's ability and willingness to pull the scene off when Fake Peppino was still missing, as well as the complete absence of that mysterious blue-clad character that took his place on the third floor. Why bother introducing him if he never showed up again? Especially with how stressful and high-stakes the whole scene was. There were a lot of loose ends that never got tied up. That scene really set Gustavo on edge - something clearly wasn't right about it...

They never saw the final escape. Peppino and Noise got into a pretty intense fight in the lobby, and Gustavo had to separate them and take Peppino home. It wasn't out of the ordinary for arguments between the two to come to blows, but something about the encounter felt different. In Peppino's own words, "it felt like he actually wanted to kill me."

Peppino stumbled through the front door, exhausted. He hadn't gotten any answers, only confirmation of what he already knew. He waved goodbye to Gustavo absent-mindedly, still trying to put the pieces together in his head. It was frustrating! Peppino knew he wasn't the smartest person in his circle, but this was ridiculous. Even though Pepperman and Vigilante had confirmed in his brief chat with them that something had changed in Noise, they didn't take it seriously. They said there had been an "accident on set" at some point during filming that may have attributed to the change, but looked extremely uncomfortable and changed the subject when asked to elaborate.

Peppino knew it was serious when two of the strongest people he knew looked scared and deflected. He recognized the same behavior in himself when asked about the war. Had Noise also been traumatized by whatever had happened on set? If only he could find out what had happened! He didn't need a lot of details, just the general idea...

Peppino continued on this train of thought as he prepared for bed and attempted to go to sleep. Unable to get his brain to shut up, he eventually waved the white flag and returned to the living room. He turned on the TV, hoping to distract himself enough to go to sleep. It didn't help that the channel was tuned to NTV, playing a rerun of one of Noise's older game shows. Peppino sighed; this was going to be a long night.

Peppino looked at the screen without watching, still turning the puzzle over in his mind. He tried to think of various things that could have happened on set to set Noise off, but nothing seemed to fit. For a brief moment, the strange man Noise fought on the third floor in his movie came to mind. Who was he? Why had Noise taken such a bizarre route for his film, only to not elaborate on it?

"Well, Italian man? What's your answer?" Peppino nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Noise's voice, letting out a startled yelp before remembering he had turned the TV on. He sighed, attempting to focus on the show, trying to banish the infuriating thoughts from his head. It occurred to him that Noise was staring at the camera an uncomfortably long time, almost as if he was staring into his soul. "Peppino? Did you hear me?" Noise asked again, turning more directly toward the camera. He had an almost desperate expression on his face... strange, given the genre of the show... suddenly, it hit Peppino like a bullet train.

He wasn't in this episode.

"...N-Noise...?" Peppino hesitated.

Noise looked relieved. "So you did hear me," he said, taking several steps forward until he had his hand pressed against the inside of the screen. "I need your help. Please," he continued, a note of desperation in his tone. Peppino immediately climbed onto the back of the couch, breathing quickly as he felt his heart rate pick up. "If this is one of your sick jokes, I swear - " he began, staring right into the dull red eyes of the little goblin on the screen. Those eyes... those eyes, normally filled with an explosive vivacity that almost glowed, now had a lifeless look about them. The person on the TV, normally bursting with life, now looked almost dead. Peppino's breath caught in his throat.

Noise pounded on the inside of the screen. "Please! You have to believe me!" he shouted. Peppino jumped and fell screaming off the back of the sofa, hitting the floor with a thud. He could hear the desperate pounding and wailing voice, begging, "I can't do this alone! Please! You're my last hope!" His heart was going a mile a minute - he hadn't been this freaked out since he had dove out of WAR with two seconds left on the clock. Not even his first encounter with Fake Peppino had scared him this bad. He heard a cracking sound, and his heart skipped a beat. He saw the remote on the floor a few feet away, scrambled towards it, and pressed the power button on the screaming figure on the screen. The sound shut off instantly, but the screen slowly faded to black, with those haunting, heartbroken red eyes staring into his soul for several agonizingly long seconds before disappearing.

Peppino took several deep breaths, trying to calm his panicked heart. His hands were shaking. He stared at the blank TV for a long minute, eyes fixed on a crack that definitely hadn't been there before. He was wide awake now. He slowly crept up to the machine, reached behind it, and unplugged it. He looked at his vibrating hands. What had just happened? He felt something off in his stomach as he remembered how desperate the Noise onscreen had sounded. Had whatever that was been telling the truth? He couldn't make heads or tails of the situation. He had just seen Noise that night... right?

Peppino stumbled into the bathroom and started washing his hands for no particular reason. He was attempting to calm down, letting the sound of the water fill his senses. Every time he blinked, he could see those sorrowful red eyes staring back at him, pleading, hopeless. It hadn't even been five minutes, but Peppino somehow knew those eyes would haunt him the rest of his life. Had he made the wrong choice? He started to beat himself up for jumping to conclusions. He glanced slightly at his reflection.

His heart started speeding up again. Though he was washing his hands with pure water, the liquid flowing from the faucet in the mirror was deep red and slightly thicker. His reflection's hands were stained with blood. His reflection... it occurred to Peppino that he was wearing his white pajamas, not a pink undershirt and red pants. He didn't even own red pants? Trepidatiously, he slowly looked up at his reflection's face. Blue sleeves revealed themselves, and then...

Empty sockets stared back at him.

Peppino screamed and backed up, as his reflection climbed out of the mirror, never looking away. Peppino felt like he was about to have a heart attack. But... the specter didn't seem angry with him. Even with empty black voids for eyes, he seemed deeply saddened, almost carrying the same desperation as... the phantom gently pointed to the bathroom door. He carried no hostility in his manner.

Peppino gulped and also pointed at the door. "Y-you want me to go back out there?" he asked, voice barely able to rise above a whisper. The phantom nodded gently. Peppino nodded in return, cracking a nervous smile as he opened the door, not daring to look away from his uninvited guest. He was completely terrified, and his heart felt like it was about to quit. He backed into the living room - then stopped. He heard the sound of static. He slowly turned around and looked at the unplugged TV. The screen was white with static snow. Peppino was certain his heart completely stopped for a few seconds as he saw a bloody red glove emerge from the snow, followed by the rest of the figure.

It had the same silhouette as Noise, but it looked drastically different. Its suit was a stony blue-gray, and its cape and gloves were the color of dried blood. And behind that mask, its face was an even more deep, dark void than the eyes of the figure he knew was still behind him. Peppino couldn't make out a single facial feature in the gaping black eternity, seemingly only held back from devouring him by the feeble cloth mask over its face. And yet, despite its unrecognizable form... Peppino somehow knew it was him. "Theodore?" he asked, though he didn't truly need to. He recognized his rival after everything that had happened.

Noise slowly stepped closer to Peppino. The chef could feel his hopeless desperation, even though that horrible blank void of a face was incapable of betraying any emotion. He spoke, and Peppino thought that he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

"I need your help, Peppino. I've tried everything, but I can't do this alone. Hazel, she's in danger - hell, everyone is! And I can't do anything to stop it, or she'll - " he stopped, seemingly unable to continue. He started to shake. Peppino hesitated only a moment, then taking a deep breath, he hugged his fallen friend. Noise hugged back, and Peppino felt his shoulder slowly become wet as Noise whispered, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I took all of you for granted..."

Peddito hung back. He noticed Noisy hanging out by the window, and opened it to let the little creature in. He scooped him up and started petting him, hugging the tiny animal as he watched Noise and Peppino trying to get some closure. This had been several months in the making, as Noise slowly realized how much he had lost. How much he had taken from him, Peddito thought, still beating himself up over what he had done. His hands were still covered in blood, and he half fancied leaving them like that, as a reminder of what consequences his vengeful spirit mentality had had...

Peppino and Noise finally broke apart. Peppino could feel Noise staring into his soul, and the memory of those lifeless red eyes returned to him. Noise squeezed his hands, making sure he was listening. "I'm out there somewhere. You have to prove it, you have to stop him before he gets away, before he can hurt Hazel! I am relying on you. I know you can do this." Peppino nodded, still processing what was happening. He briefly thought of the war - then pushed those thoughts aside. He wouldn't fail this time.

Noise leaned against him again. "I know you don't have any reason to do this for me. I wasn't good to you... to any of you. I'll understand if you - " Peppino put a finger up to where he figured Noise's mouth would be. "I'll do it," he reassured his rival. "I'll save her. And I'll make sure you get a decent burial." He was fairly certain Noise started to cry again. "Thank you, Peppino..." Noise whispered.

Peppino looked around. They were gone without a trace. Even the crack in his TV had disappeared. Peppino felt his heart pounding furiously, and realized that it had been completely still throughout the entire conversation. His mind was racing. For the first time, he fully processed that Noise was dead, and he had been talking to his ghost. If Noise was dead, then who had he fought with that evening? Had he been the one to kill Noise? What was he planning to do to Noisette? Peppino trembled in sudden anger. He wouldn't let this doppelganger get away with it!

His train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the front door. He opened it and saw Gustavo and Brick, fully dressed and ready for the day's work. He also noticed the sun coming up. Oh boy, he had somehow managed another all-nighter. Gustavo looked at him and immediately became worried. "Peppino? Did you even sleep last night? You have eye bags the size of Pepperman's book bag!"

Peppino shook his head, then looked behind Gustavo at Brick, plopped on the sidewalk. The rat seemed to be reacting to someone invisible attempting to pet him. He protested at first, but then seemed to consent to the scritches, with no sign of anyone giving them. Peppino brought his attention back to Gustavo and looked determined.

"Gus," he said, "we're not opening the pizzeria today." Gustavo looked surprised. "We are getting on that rat, and we are going to go catch a murderer."

I was originally going to have the Noise's final request scene be a lot creepier, but I decided to change that and give them a little closure.

There's still at least two parts left. 😈

<<<Previous part Next part >>>

Hell yea! Go get his ass Peppino!

Thank you for another part of the story! The ghosts haunting Peppino scene was amazingly spooky 👌 👌 👌 So very excited for the final showdown! :D

#pizza tower #peppino #Doise #Peddito #Aww love Peddito and Noisy interactions!#blind mans bluff

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yzy-dragon · 1 year ago

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I absolutely ADORED S2E9 "Three Stories" of Link Click and was a bit surprised to see the discontent here on Tumblr, and I totally understand the reasons why people didn't like it, especially in the context of the pacing of the rest of S2 (which I also have some opinions on but I won't talk about that here), but I also felt the need to just get my heart out why I love it so much. A bit of background, I'm Chinese American but have lived in and visited China numerous times.

Music and theater. As a western classical musician and an amateur Chinese opera singer enthusiast (I saw someone else post about the possible inspo this episode got from Chinese opera), I VIBED with the artistic direction of this episode SO much. The three-part structure was almost like a sonata/symphony (and remember that one scene where Qian Jin was air-conducting in a previous episode!!) or scene changes in a Chinese opera. Nothing needs to be said about the animation style that hasn't been said already, but I like how scenes from the three individual "stories" were interwoven and reused like leitmotifs. Especially that crazy, tortured laughter. Idk if any of the parallels were intentional on the part of the director, but it's what I got from it due to my personal experiences. I know that's a highly subjective takeaway though, which brings me to my next point....

Qian Jin's "tragic" backstory. I know a lot of people were upset that the extent of Qian Jin's tragic backstory was "oh his wife cheated on him", but I think the "basicness" of his struggles was the whole point (by the way, this segment displayed various attitudes towards work, family, marriage, individual pride, and life in mainland China so subtly but so well!). I also don't think sympathy was the main thing we were supposed to feel for him, although of course there is some. The whole "tragicomedy" aspect of Qian Jin's story is that it's not some horrible, terrible, rare thing that happened to him, but a common problem faced by so many hardworking but busy married men trying to provide for their families: infidelity. But Qian Jin sees himself as the main character of an elaborate play that rivals the great dramatic classics (which, funnily enough, often depicted very DRAMATIZED versions of a rather basic series of events). And his viewpoint is validated when....

Qian Jin meets the twins. That segment is still largely from Qian Jin's perspective, because we still don't really know how LTC and LTX even feel about him. But for Qian Jin, it's a stroke of fate and fortune that could only possibly happen in theater. He's very far removed from reality at this point. Reality is that a cop whose job it is to investigate violent crime comes across two kids who are the victims of a violent crime. Again, nothing particularly special or even coincidential. It's comical like that.

The fairy tale section. Unlike the first two, I think this segment is from Xixi’s perspective, which not only justifies the cartoony artstyle but also makes it heartbreaking, due to her childlike innocence. Like Qian Jin, she also perceives her reality as something it’s not, but unlike him, she doesn’t have delusions of grandeur of being a tragic protagonist. It’s just a little fox trying to survive in a forest full of predators and hunters.

All that tortured laughter. I’ve actually noticed in a lot of Chinese media that they like to use laughter as a way of signifying a person’s complete mental breakdown due to the tragedies they’ve suffered. It’s a very internal thing that has people on the outside going, “WTF?” In this episode we have a lot of characters crazily laughing together at the same time and it seems like they’re relating to each other, but in reality they’re all trapped in their own nightmarish hells and motivated by selfish purposes.

Back to the topic of Qian Jin, even though he (innaccurately) may see himself as the hero of his own story, it's not enough for him. He wants to use Cheng Xiaoshi to change the past. He wants to become the director of the play.

I know a lot of people were disappointed this episode didn't advance the plot, especially in regard to Cheng Xioashi and Lu Guang's storylines, but I was actually prepared for a backstory episode and couldn't have been more satisfied. Again, I have other opinions on the rest of S2 but at least standalone, I think this episode was nearly perfect. And I really wasn't expecting this, but it's really elevated Qian Jin to one of my top characters.

#link click #shiguang daili ren #long post #link click season 2 #qian jin #li tianchen #li tianxi #cheng xiaoshi #lu guang #most artistic episode #I stan!

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truedarkhunter · 1 month ago

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Ciel, the internal struggle (A Deep Dive)

Ciel can be a hard one to get into the headspace of for writing or creating art at times. With some of the details coming to light of how Our Ciel (O!Ciel) is actually the younger of a set of twins and took the name of his older brother the Real Ciel (R!Ciel) gives more insight into his motivations. (I'm just going to refer to the MC as Ciel and his brother as his older brother to make it easier to read.) Ciel's history is dark, as this is a horror anime/manga, even if it has lighthearted moments. It's heavier than Moriarty, The Patriot and probably closer to DeathNote with the 'I monster I became, lest a monster I become' idea. It certainly has the Shinigami/Grim Reapers along with the investigations. Basically: This is your trigger warning that this post is going to be a bit heavy because this character has been through the wringer. If violence and abuse and s.a. are not something you can handle today, this is not the post for you. Please guard your mental health.

Okay! That said, I will try to be gentle with the subject, but it's not my forte.

Also: expect spoilers. This is a deep dive. If you haven't read or watched Black Butler, you may get too much information. By the same token, this is some very specific character stuff so it just might not make sense if you aren't familiar with the segments referenced. I'm going from early childhood and the conditions of the time period forward to where the manga and anime have covered thus far.) Onward! Ciel was born into an affluent family of privilege as an unhealthy younger son. His brother would have been set to inherit everything. The author, Yana Toboso, really strongly leaned in on the "heir and spare" idea, but seemed to overplay it with the 'why were you even born aspect'. The answer is right in the line heir and SPARE. With the setting, about 2 out of every 5 children died before the age of five in the 1800's as it was a time before vaccines. It is surprising that the family didn't have more children rather than it had two.

So expect that Ciel and his older brother had friends in their circle or heard from adults talking that some of the children they knew passed away before the inciting incident (the moment that started the story arc of the series) began. The Victorian Era is chock-full of examples of death being a regular part of the culture. This is important as it shapes what is 'normal' for Ciel.

Children that made it past the childhood diseases stage usually lived a long time, that would be particularly true of the upper class who had both regular meals, shelter, heat, and adequate clothing. The upper class was also able to have their houses cleaned regularly by staff and their linens bleached which killed off illnesses. (This is part of why 'white bedsheets' and 'white linens' are popular during this period and into the early 1900's. Dyed cloth would be ruined by bleach so such items were just kept white. White showed any stain, so having everything perfectly white meant they were either frequently replaced or scrupulously maintained. The wearing of white gloves meant you didn't get your hands dirty or could afford to replace/strongly clean them on the regular. (That or you were very, very cautious.) White was associated with purity which was associated with godliness. Those aspects show up in the series as well.

From the very title "Black Butler" to the red dress Ciel pulls out to adorn his aunt in, to the lilies Undertaker is seen with meaning "innocent" it's woven into the story. Ciel is also used to strong color in clothing. It was fashionable to change outfits at different times of the day. This showed off your wealth, as well as adjusted for changes in temperature/social situations. True blues, bright reds, and such were difficult to get, and so were very costly. Many dyes were not color-fast and used dangerous reagents to to make them.

That mourning black that you were expected to wear? You called out a tailor to your home and had the family sized for it and didn't go outside until you had the mourning clothing. What was in it? Arsenic. People who had that against their skin and sweated or got it wet could get arsenic poisoning and perish themselves! That saying "Don't cry your eyes out"? If someone mourned too heavily and got their veil wet could go blind from it! So changing clothing to avoid the dyes tainting your skin was also a good idea. Ciel likely had an occasion or two where playing around puddles got him and his brother in trouble because the dyes got on their skin and would take days to get back to normal. Likewise, some of the harsh chemicals, including the bleach, may have aggravated the main character's asthma. Those periodic episodes may have come right after the linens returned and were still strongly scented of the bleach used to clean them. Alternatively, the rainy/damp weather may have drawn out the arsenic in the Scheele's Green wallpaper at some of the homes they visited (made with arsenic again!).

This wallpaper and the stench of the waste dumped in the street and into the River Thames is why "The Season" existed. It came to be noticed that people felt ill when they were indoors (around the arsenic wallpaper) and did better outside in the (relatively) fresh air. So it became common to go out to the country during the warmer months for healthful constitutionals. It also got people away from the stench of the city. (Look up The Great Stink of 1858 in England. Ciel's parents would have experienced it.) Between that and the recommendation of the doctors of the time, Rachel and Vincent would have taken to bringing the children out to the country more.

Quite possibly, his parents originally lived in London more and then went to their mansion estate to stay after their children were born because of Ciel's health problems. Even so, his parents still entertained, as seen during the Noah's Ark Circus/Book of Circus arc. Vincent was still keeping his eye on the underworld for Queen Victoria. As such, he had more than social obligation, but a required need to interact frequently with the people in society in order to feel them out to determine which rumors were true and which were false.

To that end, we can expect that Ciel's father was eloquent and charming. We see him being a tender father and a dedicated, caring husband. He also had a flip side that had to handle taking out the threats to the Queen and he couldn't be squeamish about it. Because of that, the hunting trips with his sister were likely important to him. He could dress a deer or hide a body. Hunting as a sport was a great way to arrange an 'accident'. His sister, who is as good with a gun as a sword, shows an uptight demeanor around Ciel. Some of that is likely that she always worried about her brother and now worries about Ciel. Hence her wanting them to be perfect in both appearance and action. The job of the Queen's Guard Dog allowed no room for error. She may also harbor suspicions of Ciel's actual identity, hence the "fix your hair"! The ill younger brother may not have had to be meticulously groomed all the time, but the elder likely did. Moreover, having a slovenly appearance could lead to rumors of him being an imposter or just unfit for the role and he can't afford that. Rumors could kill.

The boys had undeniably heard about their family line holding this important position. There would be gentle explanations and some success stories or funny ones, then the untold part of why their grandparents were no longer around when other kids still had theirs. Ciel had some idea beforehand of what this life was like, but not the reality of it.

One of the holdovers from his grandparents time is the Undertaker. He was a friend to his grandmother Cloudia, and since she married the Queen's Guard Dog, he likely used his ability to read the records of the dead to aid them...although he then found tangible things like notes in pockets or inquiring in town to the right people. That he knew where to look for that piece of paper or which people to talk to would be considered a "knack". The brothers would also have known the members of Dad's secret club, the Aristocrats of Evil (or Villainous Nobles) as little gets past the eyes of children.

He had his circle of informants that he relied upon, as that was exactly who they were. The current iteration has Chlaus, Diedrich, Undertaker, Lau, Angelina Dalles (his aunt, deceased), Azzuro Vanel (deceased), Pitt, an Unidentified woman, and Unidentified man with a scarred left eye. (See: Kuroshitsuji fandom wiki, Aristocrats of Evil)

Chlaus, Diedrich, Lau, and Azzuro handled external/international threats. Lau and Azzuro are particularly about Chinese and Italian Mafia and the drugs and other contraband such groups were trying to bring into England. Undertaker was the only place to get aid with funerals and a little with medical advice and surgeries (I suspect). He handled news from the less affluent quarters and listened in the corners at funerals as they were big events and people talked. The truth could come out of what a person was really like and these occasions were as important as weddings for networking. Knowing who was arranging meetings with whom could prove important later.

He also had insight into supernatural goings on, however he may or may not have relayed it. Angelina Dalles, aka Madame Red, ran in the social circles of the aristocrats and heard all the latest gossip. Those leads, and her information from being a medical practitioner could allow the Queen's Guard Dog to know who was up to what and then have the medical reports to back up claims if someone got injured suspiciously. Pitt is a paparazzi before that title got popular. People love sensational stories and he would get them or pictures for the paper who ran them. Unlike Diedrich, Undertaker, or Angelina, he has no deeper ties of loyalty to the family and is purely there for the money.

This circle is whom Ciel inherits and it almost immediately begins breaking down. The loyalty to his father did not simply translate to him in all cases. Life also moved on and people change. Hence the attempted kidnapping by Azzuro and the discovery of Madame Red's dark activities on the side. Some are overly attached, such as Undertaker, and the tale is taking some wild turns because of it. That there are multiple supernatural beings having a hand in his life (Undertaker, Sebastian, Grelle), some arcs do not resolve naturally (such as the potential redemption of his aunt at the end of the Red Reaper arc) while his continued existence is itself due to supernatural intervention (the butler).

This causes him to rely more and more on his butler, which is exactly how Sebastian desires it. It is also why when Soma and Agni appear on the scene it is such a consternation for his butler. Soma claims friendship, regardless of how Ciel tries to distance himself, and has the social status to ignore Ciel's attitudes. Likewise, Agni shows himself not only a potent peer to Sebastian, but skilled at organizing others so that their talents shine. (The servants competently preparing things in the kitchen together in the anime under Agni's supervision in contrast to their incompetence being resolved solely by Sebastian in the first episode and at the picnic later with Lizzy.) The selfishness of the demon and his pride made him want to show off his skills and talents. Growing the skills of the others doesn't come naturally to him, nor is it desirable as it would diminish the young master's reliance upon him. That shock is very real and a moment of growth in the butler, but goes a little under the radar for Ciel. The young master was likely just grateful things were quiet for an afternoon among his servants.

Ciel not only needed to step into his brother's shoes, he had to start handling the accounts for the estate. Which begs the question:

Why Ciel?

(Informational) He may have overheard the kidnappers describing the requirements for making a pact with a demon if one showed up. If he somehow had the presence of mind, he may have given the false name to the demon in hopes of getting out of the pact later if he decided he didn't like what was going to happen.

(Coldly Rational) He may have known that there would be other claimants for his family's position and he could lose his position and possibly fall into the hands of the person who betrayed them if he came back as his true named self. As Ciel, even being young, he would be the strongest claimant for the position and it would allow him to investigate who did this to his family.

(Romantic Notion) He could have taken it simply to keep some part of his beloved twin alive. It would be the only memorial he could have for him. This was a difficult thing for him to pull off even as close as he was as it seems his brother was more extroverted and probably tougher and sassier. It's one thing to look like his brother; it's another to consistently pass as his brother. Hence how Lizzy felt so horrible that she had missed it or glossed over the signs once the older brother made his appearance. Falling ill from his asthma would have been a dead giveaway to those closest to him, hence he didn't disclose it even to his butler. Yet his life and plan relied upon it.

Another part of Ciel's life now revolved around social interaction. He not only had to do the books, but he had to tour the lands and talk to the people who worked it for him and provided his living. This is something his brother would have been getting introduced to, but he may not have. In the anime, the butler helps facilitate it just as he handled it up until that point. Having Sebastian provide the names and backgrounds before they arrived and appraising Ciel of what their needs were would help Ciel to ingratiate himself in his father's place. That he actually addresses their concerns and insures things run smoothly at that level even if it costs him some of his funds, solidified the worker's support.

I suppose we must now address what happened that launched the Black Butler story. While the boys would have been sheltered, the trips to their other holdings would have exposed them to some of what life was like in the rest of England and particularly London.

They would see people being homeless in the street, hear about the long hours for the working class where their bosses wouldn't let them have rest breaks off their feet, causing them to have health issues. People losing body parts from industrial accidents, getting illnesses that weren't treatable or were given quack treatments, these were all common in his world. They'd hear some of it from their aunt interspersed with boring gossip as well as their friends and family's attitudes towards the other classes. There were the realities in the world he and his brother were getting introduced to as they reached double digits and were starting to get taken around to learn how to govern their lands.

Somewhere amongst those friends and relatives was someone who planned to overthrow their father. The manga has a meeting between Vincent and Diedrich where the twins are present where it seems like Vincent may have an inkling that something risky is coming up. That or they just finished something that made Vincent concerned for the future as he asks Diedrich to give his allegiance and support to his son should something happen to him. Likewise, the anime showed that Vincent knew his fate was coming to meet him and he couldn't avoid it. However, he didn't expect for his children to be caught up in it, nor likely his wife. Speculation: It may be that when the Queen's Guard Dog becomes too well-known, they aren't as effective. Alternatively, there may be a set term limit to insure there is no question of loyalty from corruption or bribery. That would allow he family to continue to pass down the responsibility each generation, yet explain why they wind up having shortened lifespans. (Not that the job is oh-so-safe in the first place!)

There is evidence that the older brother knew the people who did it and was likely duped into letting them into the house or giving up information that would allow them to infiltrate. It is unlikely that he was actively attempting to take over. Given his age and skill level, he wouldn't be ready to take over for his father. It could be a Lion King sort of moment, as Yana has drawn from Hamlet for this tale as well, but if so then it would have been to convince the heir that they would like to be the Earl sooner. Wouldn't it be fun?

It would be interesting if one of the people involved planned to manipulate the heir, while those under him had a different idea since they suffered under the Watch Dog and figured getting rid of the family entirely and selling off the kids would be more effective. Either way, our Ciel knows that his brother knew something about their attackers.

They were sold in the underground, quite likely by the Viscount of Druitt himself or an underling. It appeared to be a very upper-class group involved. The images showed rather well-dressed people and Undertaker was caught off-guard by event and had trouble retrieving the twins during that month. Upper class in this case may also involve angels, which would truncate Undertaker's ability to act which may be why he didn't get the older brother back until he had passed. Alternatively, he only got it back when the crime scene was discovered and so had whatever hours the child had been dead to deal with in reanimating him. Yet if the site was burned, it implies he was nearby and able to swoop in as soon as it fell into the grey area that Grim Reapers operate in. Whether or not we will get to see angels has yet to be determined in the manga although the first season of the anime had them. While much of the anime is not cannon, Yana clearly had themes she relayed that she is running with. It would feel a bit incomplete to have the black and the grey without the white for this canvas. What we do have is a play on the spiritual movement and esoteric fascination of the time.

France was profiting on this by selling books said to be "meant for church use" in the introduction which allowed them to hock ones listing supposed demons. Many of them were barely altered names of gods among other things. Such books were considered restricted items normally just as sexually explicit pieces were. Hence the use of the 'for church use' tag to slip it past the censors. These were displayed in secretive collections as Victorians wanted to be 'in the know'. (So just because a source is old doesn't mean it's reputable. People trying to scam others have always existed.) However, this means people were attempting to discover the secrets beyond the Veil. The bored rich had the time and resources to try and summon the demons listed.

One particularly decadent group in the Black Butler setting turned to performing the most perverse rites, harming children bought through Druitt or some other seller. To these people the twin Phantomhive children went. The group spent a month turning them from pure and innocent into terribly shocked, ill, abused children all to try to summon a demon. At the end, they sacrificed one of the pair and it worked. Unbeknownst to them, a sacrifice had to be something that had meaning and closeness to you. Hence the demon went to Ciel. His brother's soul acted as the price for passage. He also had the strongest emotions and desire in the place, a desire for revenge.

During it all, the pair relied on each other for strength and purpose. They kept swallowing their father's signet ring and digging through the dung later to retrieve it and swallow it again so that it wouldn't be taken from them and they could prove whom they were once they escaped. That support is likely what kept them from breaking utterly as with the other children. It was clear they weren't given enough food, and were force fed to keep them alive, and their fine clothes were worn down to or replaced with rags. They were getting close to passing from the neglect. That was when the group pulled one of them from the cage at random. They didn't know they took the eldest, and that was important for the younger brother in order to assume the eldest's identity. With the loss of his brother, Ciel's anger outweighed his despair in that moment and brought the demon to his side. He had nothing left to lose in his mind, so he made the pact. Then his first order was to kill all those present and to burn the place to the ground.

While this would seem to make sense, who wouldn't want to destroy everything after such an event? It also feeds into his mindset after all he went through. Ciel wants oblivion. Had it been him on the altar, he probably would have felt relief and just given up. However, with duty pressed so hard on him and the loss of his brother, he felt compelled to live through the moment. However, once he has satisfied his need to know who did this to his family and exact his revenge, he wants not to die, but to no longer be. Oblivion.

In the first season anime, he showed that he intended to keep his part of the Faustian pact. Interestingly, while he didn't want to continue, he asked that Sebastian not make an effort to be gentle as he wanted the pain of it to be engraven upon his soul as proof that he had a life that was worth living. In that iteration, the butler simply replied, "Indeed, my young lord."

With all he had been through, Ciel would not believe himself able to come back from that damage. There is evidence of this. We get to see him suffering nightmares for months on end as the butler stays by his side and protects him. Likewise, when he faces other children being put through what he faced in a recreation of the rite, he has the butler burn the place down just as he did before. He intimates that no one that has gone through such things is really there anymore. Since he doesn't ask the other children if they want to live, he is answering based on his own experience and mindset - they are walking dead to him. Because of how he treats them, you can see how he feels about himself. He's going through the motions, but he feels he's already dead inside but for duty and revenge.

Given how little mental health care existed at the time, there isn't much reason or chance for him to recover. The Queen certainly has him hopping right away and the breakneck pace of a case every two weeks to a month doesn't allow Ciel much time to sort himself.

One of the best aids for his mindset is the presence of Lizzy. Because she is a callback to the good days of his childhood, and because of his responsibility to her as a fiancé in place of his brother, he pulls upon older memories and reactions. While dusty, they are still there. He indulges her, partially to hide whom he really is, and partially as he knows he can never fulfill her dream and be her husband. It is unlikely that he can view he games of man and maid in any wholesome light after all he had been through. For this reason, I cannot see Ciel honestly being paired with anyone.

It could be he could grow over time and find some form of happiness. Yana drew a 'what if' piece for Ciel if he had stayed on at the circus with Doll. So that if the conditions were right, he might find some level of safety and comfort could have maybe been possible, but given this is a horror anime with a Faustian pact, it isn't meant to be. Moreover, since he is fully aware of his deal, Ciel knows he must stick to his bargain or forfeit his life early. He doesn't dare express too much affection, even if he feels some amount of it, lest he trigger some nullification clause that takes him out before his revenge is complete. We see this in the Green/Emerald Witch arc where Ciel has to recover from his brush with a a dangerous chemical and winds up being too afraid for a while to continue his hunt. At that point, Sebastian goes in to eat him and gets rebuffed. When Ciel asks if he were actually going to do it, Sebastian replies he was only 90% serious. So yes, Ciel has parameters set to continue to have the services of his butler. That also means he can't necessarily take time to heal.

In the anime, Sebastian describes the experiences and emotions Ciel has gone through as a sort of seasoning to his soul. Since he wants his master to be at some desired flavor combinations of emotions, it is unlikely that he would tolerate changes that would undo something the demon considered beneficial towards his later repast.

That is another reason it can be hard to get into Ciel's head as some of what he does is driven by the butler's requirements rather than his own. Ciel does state what he wants to achieve. What he has to go through to get it is not necessarily what Ciel bargained for, somewhat literally.

Another side of Ciel is the further loss of people close to him. Those who should have been on his side, protecting him, became mortal enemies. This was especially true of his own aunt, Angelina Dalles. As I mentioned above, she appeared to be about to repent and possibly reconcile with Ciel when her life was ended by the Grim Reaper/Shinigami she had befriended and run with. Seeing her true motivations and thoughts in her cinematic record, Grelle Sutcliff declared her "unworthy of the color red" and claimed her jacket.

Now it could be that the shock of the events cause Ciel to forget meeting the Grim Reaper, or it could be that once away from such supernatural beings, the events tend to grow fuzzy and slip out of mind. People don't tend to handle such well. Add in the other things Ciel has been through and it isn't surprising that he might throw it all in a box in the back of the attic of his mind and label it as "do not open".

At his aunt's funeral, Ciel went against all custom at the time and ignored the idea that dressing her in white. Dressing someone in white was to prepare them for their arrival in Heaven. Instead he says she always looked best in flaming red and presents her with her own red dress. Whether this is a desire to throw away the pretense and embrace the person she really was or a revelation of her sinful nature and death at her funeral is up to debate. He didn't accuse her for he doesn't see himself as better than her. His hands are just as covered in blood. However, he chose to honor her passing as a family member that he once cared for and shed tears for her although Lizzy shed more for both of them. That loss left Ciel a little colder, more isolated, and more cynical than before.

Certainly it is easier for Ciel to escape dealing with his traumas by keeping busy and moving forward towards his ultimate goal. Yet that feels a little false. People can't run from their experiences forever. When they get overtired or overtaxed those things will come out. Likewise, trauma revisits when people do start to heal. The brain says "you're in a better place, let's process things!" So in some sense, the Green Witch arc forced him to process some of the horrors he's seen before facing more. Likewise, his trust in his other servants, particularly Finny, increases during those trials. Much of Ciel's outlook towards other people is cynical and utterly untrusting. He doesn't believe in goodness anymore or God. If people are being nice, they must be hiding other motives in his book. That's why he thinks he can be transactional with someone like Abberline and can't quite process that maybe there really are people, outside of the ones from his past like Lizzy, that are actually as good as they appear.

With the Campania/Book of the Atlantic arc, Ciel has to face his feelings towards Lizzy. There are hints of him heading towards puberty as he starts feeling more awkward around her, but doesn't know what to do with those emotions. Then he gets to find out how capable she really is and how she can protect him as much as he desired to protect her.

Protective is the primary feeling he has towards Lizzy. She is that last strong link to his past that is positive. For that reason, he's willing to do a great deal to protect her body and her feelings. That doesn't mean he's always good at it or that he's tolerant of all her actions, he's still a young boy just growing into his teens himself, but he tries hard to master his own emotions and find the words needed to be gracious to her when all is said and done. He also knows he can do nothing but let her down ultimately, so he's doing his best to do so gently that she might keep the better memories of him when he's no longer there.

By the Public School arc, Ciel has become better at hiding his true self and being ruthless in his pursuit and smooth with his lies. He learned to paste on a fake smile in the circus and has butted heads with enough adults that he has a good idea of how people work. He's not used to dealing with peers and so underestimates them just as adults underestimate him...with similar results. By the end, he has achieved a level of competence that can carry him towards his final goal.

When we arrive at the Blue Sect arc and beyond, those skills and resolve get challenged as he faces his older brother and is driven from his home and all his resources. This echoes the anime where London is burning and he is forced out and loses access to his butler for a time. His situation and limitations physically are made clear as he can hardly dress himself without help. If the manga keeps going with the theme, Ciel may have to sell off or lose the few things he's held onto such as the family signet ring and the Phantomhive cursed blue ring. This is sort of a call back to the preparation for death. A version of "you can't take it with you" where Ciel must determine what is still important as things disintegrate around him. He can't hold on to relationships nor items, nor is he supposed to. Only he can decide in the end, from a detached point of view, if his life and efforts are worth having lived at all. So we will see how the manga finishes out. This was quite a long and rambling piece that took me all day to complete. Hopefully it will give you, the reader, some insight on Ciel's inner thoughts as well as what shaped him growing up so you can read deeper into his past and story and possibly write him better or a little easier. He's troubled, secretive, and secretly still caring and trying to do what he thinks is right to a degree, while denying that he still holds any such notions dear to his heart anymore. He lies, manipulates, and lies to himself as well, but he still moves forward and embraces his mistakes and learns from them. He has no veil in front of his eyes, and hopes for nothing in his future as he attempts to fulfill a single set of goals/wishes. That's Ciel Phantomhive at this point in time. Whether he is purely mortal, some strange blend of immortal and mortal, or simply a version of Hamlet, he stands in as the wounded character faced with a tragic story that he can't stop, but he can chose how he goes out for that final bow. Let me know if you agree or disagree or see him in a different light.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive

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ruumirmir · 9 months ago

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𝘈 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘗𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘛𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 Part I Part II

ੈ♡˳ Author's◇ note - ladies and gentlemen i fear that im just yapping atp. Ough this is literally my own character how hard can it be to not make his dialogues ooc (quite a lot). aNYWAYS lo and behold part 2 of the voicelines. They're all subject to change as far as lorecrafting goes. But for now!!! loverboy has a lot to say:

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] A big hulking figure followed by the sound of rattling metal chains as he walks...It would make anyone tremble with fear. Celestia knows what lies under that helmet, but you can rest assured that The Captain is fairly merciful to all. It's just a simple matter of being courteous and following orders. Dare I even say it... one thing that I've heard and observed from the grapevine- is that he's one of the more popular Harbingers... if the bold statements from my comrades are anything to go by.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] Contrary to belief, the Prime Doctore is a completely sane man. His younger segments, not so much. His experiments have killed hundreds, and I'm sure he would continue if it wouldn't threaten Regrator's profits. He works a little too closely with Lord Regrator, which is bad enough for me. I can't stand it when he asks me to keep their struck deals and the Doctor's activities under wraps... but I do it anyway. I'd be happier if they were never in the same room together, but apparently, those two make 'quite the pair' if I had to quote some rumors.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] Her reputation as dangerous, even among the Harbingers, should suggest you steer clear of her. I once made the mistake of catching her closed gaze while I was at the palace- and a nasty feeling of paranoia plagued me for days on end. However, if you end up under her radar and she deems you 'interesting'... well- I'll send you my condolences.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘒𝘯𝘢𝘷𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

The Knave, Arlecchino... she's quite the enigma. While she and Lord Regrator are both Harbingers, their demeanors, methods, and goals cannot be more distinct. Her methods, to say the least, are a touch... extreme. There's no denying her skills as a master manipulator and ruthless 'Father' of the House of the Hearth. It's certainly an improvement from the late Crucabena, or so I've heard from the older orphans. But then again, I haven't noticed any changes in the mortality rate of her... "children".

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘙𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

The old Rooster's influence can be found throughout Snezhnaya, and his connections are vast. He seems to be on good terms with Regrator, but that's the only thing I'm sure of. He serves as an advisor to the Fatui Harbingers, and his assistance goes beyond the scope of his political power. I suspect there's something important that he may be working on, but I have no idea where to start… They say he's a master strategist, but his only plans involve making a show that impresses a crowd. I only hope the next time he assembles the Harbingers together, it will be over his casket.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

Sandrone is the head of a team of engineers who build mechanical lifeforms. Some are small and cute, others gigantic and powerful... but all are emotionless and unfeeling. When I hear the word "creation" I think of beauty and passion, but Sandrone seems to only care about destruction. Just like the mech that carries her around. You'd never see her alone; it's as if the puppet is her true identity.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘦 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

Tartaglia, or Childe as some people call him, He definitely has the strength of a Harbinger, that much is undeniable. But he can be impulsive, even downright suicidal at times. It's as if he has no fear of dying. I guess that's what happens when you live for the thrill of the battle. I can't deny that... Even though he's a loudmouth, his skills back up his words. I've seen him cut through enemies as if they were made of butter. That being said, he's still young at heart. Occasionally disruptive for the duties carried out. He's developed an interest in dueling with me ever since Pantalone granted me this title. Lucky for me, I can always request for Regrator's presence whenever I want him to turn tail and disappear.

𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘓𝘢𝘥𝘺 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

The first time I saw Signora, I was struck by her beauty and gracefulness. Unfortunately, my admiration was short-lived as she turned to glare at me the moment she noticed. Arrogance. Ego. Self-conceit- now those are mere words when it comes to the Fair Lady. She was as cold as the snow that covers Snezhnaya and as temperamental as the flames she wielded. She had no tolerance for the weak and would just as easily snuff out a life without a second thought. Although I hold no love for her, I almost felt disrespected on her behalf when the Rooster thought to grant only half a day of mourning at her funeral.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐

The Northland Bank is a place of opportunity, a place where you can put your destiny into your own hands... and a place where you can see it stripped from you without warning. I have seen many people come and go in my time here. People from all walks of life, eager to make a name for themselves. Some have found the money and fortune they sought after, while others have fallen flat on their faces.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐𝘐 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 3]

I've seen countless conflicts waged with blood and steel, and they pale in comparison to the lives destroyed by the pen. They're both weapons in their own ways. The sword is more direct, no question about it. Yet the pen... it can cut in a more subtle manner, but it slices deep. Both are capable of ruining someone's life. The former requires power while the latter requires intelligence. Really brings out the irony in calling this feathered quill my 'signature' weapon.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐𝘐𝘐 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4]

To the untrained eye, it may seem like some sort of cruel joke. A title like ‘Venator Dux’ is usually given to one who would strike fear in their enemies and inspire confidence in their allies. Lord Regrator, however, has a different plan in mind. Pantalone sees me not as a ruthless warrior, but as the keeper of his secrets. Someone who can wield knowledge as a weapon and turn his enemies’ greed against them. To him, the title of ‘Venator Dux’ is a reminder of my duty. In his words, I was a useful piece that could shift the entire board on his whim. And isn't that something to take pride in? Knowing you're the most favored player in a man's game?

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘐𝘝 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 5]

My father died a proud soldier under the tsaritsa's name. He fought and bled on behalf of the nation she created and dedicated his life to protecting. *Sigh* My father would be ashamed if he could see me now, kneeling before a man. Especially after cursing his grave out for dying under another. The irony is not lost on me. Yet, I would rather serve a man who I respect, who I can reason with, than one who demands endless devotion from her subjects. In a strange way, I feel as though I am honouring my father's memory by following my own path.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳: 𝘝 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 6]

Hilarious to think back to my first year of duty. I was no more than a simple receptionist at the Northland Bank back then. Just another faceless pawn, doing my duty to the tsaritsa without questioning her intentions. All I knew was that I was serving the Fatui's goals. I did not kill anyone directly, yet I still had blood on my hands. Every transaction carried the potential for loss and pain, yet I pushed on regardless. I may have been just a receptionist, but I was already well aware of the cost of ambition. Pantalone then, was different from everyone else I'd met in the Fatui. He didn't use force of arms like the other Harbingers; instead, he used his words and intellect to manipulate the political landscape.

In addition, he held a unique perspective on the tsaritsa's ideals. Not once did he preach about blind devotion. He simply told me that if I wanted to make my mark on this world, I would have to be willing to play by his rules. It took me three years to realize what he insinuated... and I found myself gravitating back to him despite leaving the organization of my own accord.

𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘏𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘦𝘴 Playing the piano, perhaps? I'm no good at it yet... but I've been getting better with some help guiding my hand around the keys. It is... nice to unwind after a long day and let the instrument carry me away.

𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘛𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴 [Unlocked at Friendship Lv. 4] *Sigh*... I have to be diplomatic with people I despise and feign politeness with those who can’t hold a conversation to save their lives. Sometimes- when I’m in the middle of running an important operation, few of my juniors just keep making mistakes. It makes me wonder how Lord Regrator manages to do the same for days on end with a smile on his face... I'm not like him at all.

𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘥 I've got a soft spot for a well-seasoned dish of meat. Any kind really— A hearty serving does wonders. Leaves you delightfully stuffed full, satisfied, and warm. I'm not too worried about the specifics of the dish as long as I can savor a mouthful of rich flavor.

𝘓𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘍𝘰𝘰𝘥 Desserts that are too sweet are an affront to my tastebuds and moral values. Sugar is supposed to be an element, not the whole personality. The only thing that does it well is dark chocolate.

𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘎𝘪𝘧𝘵: 𝘐 Oh! A thoughtful choice, traveller. The aroma alone is tantalizing. Your efforts are appreciated. Thank you.

𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘎𝘪𝘧𝘵: 𝘐𝘐 Hmm... a pragmatic choice. It may not be an extravagant feast, but it serves its purpose. Your gesture is noted.

𝘙𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘎𝘪𝘧𝘵: 𝘐𝘐𝘐 An... interesting choice. I suppose variety is the spice of life, but I find my satisfaction elsewhere. Nonetheless, your intention is recognized. I won't let this go to waste.

𝘉𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 Why is there a celebration? A date marking the day of your own birth... It's simply illogical, but the Fatui celebrate birthdays like everything else, so I'll play along. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! There, I said it. You're now a year older, and one year closer to old age and inevitable death. Oh- haha, don't sulk like that, I'm just pulling your leg. Relax. I wouldn't ignore such an occasion. Here, my gift to you... A box of my favorite chocolates. Freshly imported from Fontaine... straight from a bakery approved by Lady Furina herself. They're a bit expensive; but only the best for people I respect.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 1] There are depths to my abilities yet untapped. I'm flattered that you thought to lend me a hand.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘉𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘜𝘱 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 2] Oh... careful now, I might want to test it out against you.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘹 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 4]

Oh, I've unlocked something new... Fascinating. That burst of light was unexpected but now... I can feel the power. Everything feels lighter and sharper at the same time. I'd be a formidable force indeed in the coming weeks... Well, back to work. My Lord expects a report on current fiscal state by the end of the week.

𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘈𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯: 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 [Unlocked at Ascension Phase 6]

Aha, I can do a lot more now. More power, better focus, and more options. This is truly remarkable... I'd love to see how my coworkers react to this. Lord Pantalone will be especially pleased, I'd wager. He'd never pass up the opportunity to see his prized jewels shine brighter.

Bonus:

𝘖𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵

Why not try your luck at gambling if you're running low on mora?

You could con a pretty penny out of someone with a couple of these trinkets. Hmm... no?

This is a pretty fun hobby.

𝘑𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺

What? No other companion to recruit?

I'll be charging you a fee of 5000 mora per hour for my services... Ha- I'm just messing with you.

I'm a busy man, so let's keep today's adventure short.

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witsserviceablesubstitute · 25 days ago

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I need to preface this by saying I do queer readings here. It's where I approach my engagement of a text from. It's not all I do but it is what I enjoy doing.

When it comes to queering a text some simply do not want to see it because seeing it can change an understanding of themselves, the media they consume, or the world in which they live. That's not a judgement (unless you're being a homophobic ass about it). My first kiss was a girl, so too was my first crush, teen me's favorite media Included Xena, Buffy, Sailor Moon, WoT, and MCR. All the subtext was there but I didn't admit it to myself until I was 23. I didn't want to see it. This subject is important to me, more so than maintaining the perceptions of any one media or fandom, but I do understand why it'd be hard to see the subtext if you don't want to. Just move on to enjoying your own interpretation of the story.

Okay, so, Destiel is semi-canon (I'm not budging on that one). Supernatural is lucky that death is mostly meaningless and Dean has a strong queer reading too or Castiel's many deaths and the impetus for them would fall under a few homophobic film tropes. It may still do, but the ambiguity keeps me loving Cas' arc so I'll take it. One of Supernatural's underlying narratives being the breaking of Christian religious ties for free will, and in Castiel's case explicitly for love, is so queer it's stunning. As is escaping the pain of the biological family to find healing in found family, blood or no.

Sam has a good queer reading with his arc centering around feeling other or outside normal. Of grasping at the traditional American family picture of normalcy like a lifeboat but still not feeling wholely himself when he has it. I wanted Sam to accept himself in the end but I don't believe he got there because he kept projecting his desire to be understood on non-humans like Jack (rightly so, he was very good with Jack) and segmenting himself into different Sam's; Dean's brother, Jack's father figure, potential witch, lore lover, Rowena's Sam, etc. without resolution. It made his ending a bittersweet one to me.

There's a big bisexual reading of Dean and I've already posted a video for why, but I think his potential queerness is also interesting because of its similarities with gay characters like Mickey Milkovich from Shameless or Andrew Minyard from All For the Game. Parental issues you can see from space, anger problems, abrasively anti-social at times, difficult and uncommunicative, violent machismo, walled up emotions, hates themselves, suicidally self-sacrificing, and love being their primary motivation. When it comes to a queer reading of these kinds of men it's about analyzing the intersections between how their abusive parental relationships and their toxically masculine environment hurt them and stunted the development in their understanding or acceptance of themselves.

Something I find ironic is how one of the characters Dean was styled after was apparently James Dean, whose probable bisexuality was a heated debate for decades. Life imitates art, art imitates... well you get the idea. If true I wonder how much of Jim and Plato was ripped from Rebel Without a Cause to make up the friendship between Dean and Cas because Castiel is very gay. His whole arc is just. Gay. Cas goes through a conversation therapy analogy twice. Queer love breaks his social conditioning and brainwashing. Cas is from THE religious family and keeps rebelling against them for a man. This isn't subtext. He's textually in love with Dean and yearns and dies for that love over and over, is there anything more 'gay cinema' than that?

#supernatural cw #supernatural #spn #navel gazing #queerness in media #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #i like the show and loved the characters but i need something that treats both women and its queer characters better for my next watch #i'm seriously unsurprised supernatural has such a huge queer fanbase but it also feels like it keeps dolling out blows on my sanity #destiel #team free will

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delusinaldreamer19 · 8 months ago

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✨Intro post✨

Hello! Welcome to my blog. Here’s a little about me,

General stuff:

Cis fem irl, but online I prefer they/them because I don’t really want to attach a gender to myself & would like to be viewed more neutrally. But don’t be surprised if I say things like “I’m just a girl!”

18 year old college student, who’s energy and motivation are as inconsistent as my grades.

I sadly don’t have a fun quirky name for you to call me 😭. I’m incredibly tempted to say “just call me delusional!” because I think that’s hilarious. But I have a smidge 🤏to much self respect to do that lol.

About me:

I have ADHD, the not-fun, shitty, neurodivergent kind that makes everything hard.

I suck at spelling. Auto correct is my biggest opp.

I'm an equestrian ��

I yap like a mf

I am a maladaptive daydreamer. Meaning that I have extensive, sometimes (more often then not) compulsive, daydreams that are very vivid and can last for hours on end. That’s what my user name is referring to.

I've been so aggressively hyperfixated on Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji for the past 6 years it's not even funny.

That seems like a good place to transition onto the next segment…

What's on my blog?

A lot of my daydreams revolve around black butler, whether it's the characters interacting or story lines I've come up with. And I've discovered that writing them out helps me from becoming so enwrapped in them, sort of like getting it out of my system. CASE AND POINT I have a few fanfictions :)

Fanfic masterlist

Other then that,

I sometimes have funny thoughts

I sometimes like to make long analytical rants about things in black butler

Fanfic Recs

and yeah I think that's it 🤗

Things of note:

There may be some suggestive comments or jokes on my blog, but I don’t post smut. Same goes for fanfics. (That may be subject to change some day)

⚠️I do not ship Sebaciel ⚠️ I don’t like it, but I can’t stop you from liking or commenting or following (Oh yeah I look through all y’all’s blogs to see if u got Sebaciel on there), just don’t bring it into anything I post. ie, no tagging as Sebaciel or commenting sum in favor of it. BUT MOST OF ALL, if you ship sebaciel pls DNI with any of my fanfics. The thought of anything I write bring perceived through the lens of that ship makes me extremely uncomfortable. That is a boundary of mine, please respect it.

Also, please do not send me hate. Not because I’m a little bitch and can’t take it, but b/c I have weird paranoia and the one time I got sent anon hate from sebaciel shippers I convinced myself that these random ppl on the internet were going to find where I live and 🔫me 😃. So yeah, please don’t do that.

I occasionally make little vent/complaining post about random things. Feel free to disregard them. I often just need to get it out of my system and don’t have many outlets. And lord knows my mental health is in shambles. But they don’t include triggering topics, and if they do I’ll add warnings.

Shit this post is long asf my bad

#intro post #black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #black butler memes #black butler fanfiction #Me

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llyfrenfys · 2 years ago

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Y Hen Llinge and all that: Welsh in The Witcher Series (glossary)

This post is largely my GDrive notes on this subject, but I am a Welsh speaker and have noticed Welsh cropping up a lot in the Witcher series. I'm going to go into a few examples in this post- a word of warning though, there may be spoilers, which I'll mark with a SPOILER WARNING.

The Wiki List:

The wiki contains a glossary of Hen Llinge words alongside their real-world inspirations. Hen Llinge isn't based on Welsh alone, but also Irish, German, English and Latin (among others). The list on the wiki has the following terms marked down as being inspired by Welsh (which I have compiled):

abb (rivermouth), w. Aber

aevon (river) w. Afon

aep (son of) w. Ap

ar (of/on/by) w. Ar

ban (peak/summit) w. Ban (sometimes Fan)

bleidd (wolf) w. Blaidd

breoga (frog) w. Broga

caed (woods) w. Coed

caer/kaer (fortress) w. Caer

col (mountainpass) w. Dol

conyn (plantstalk) w. Coesyn

craag (rocks) w. Crag

darganfod (discovery) w. Darganfod

darl’len (read) w. Darllen

dhu (black) w. Du

dol (valley/dale) w. Dôl

gláeddyv (sword) w. Cleddyf

glean (bottom) w. Glan

gwyn (white) w. Gwyn

gwynbleidd (white wolf) w. Blaidd Gwyn

gwent (wind) w. Gwynt

hen (old) w. Hen

holl (all) w. Holl

marw (to die) w. Marw

ninnau (ourselves) w. Ninnau

pont (bridge) w. Pont

stráede (road) w. Stryd

tir (land) w. Tir

tor (tower) w. Twr

uniade (a joining (n.) w. Uniad

wen (white) w. -wen

ymladda (fight) w. Ymlad

The terms in the wiki are terms created for the TV series- the terms created for the books and games are similar, but the TV lexicon is much more expanded than the book and game corpuses.

Words on the Wiki not labelled as Welsh:

These terms are on the wiki but have no origin listed. I believe they likely have Welsh inspiration (especially the last one):

ghar (word) w. Gair

inis (island) w. Ynys (see also: Irish)

ysgarthiad (shit, excreted waste) w. Ysgarthiad

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

These terms are terms I have heard in the dialogue or seen in-game in Wild Hunt. They are not included in the wiki as they are game terms. They are also only possibly inspired by Welsh as I am not a dev, so I cannot be certain, however, I have chosen the ones I feel are likely inspired by Welsh in at least some capacity.

(SPOILER WARNING: references to Witcher 3 Characters and actions central to plot ahead!)

mor (very/how/as) w. Mor (from location Caer Morhen)

aval (apple) w. Afal (from personal name Aval’lach)

caniatad (permission) w. Caniatâd (from the spell that transforms Aval’lach back to elf, 14:27)

nevid (change) w. Newid (from the spell that transforms Aval’lach back to elf, 14:27)

cyvir (correct) w. Cywir (from the spell that transforms Aval’lach back to elf, 14:27)

taron (thunder) w. Taran (from the spell that transforms Aval’lach back to elf, 14:27)

caeffyl (horse) w. Ceffyl (from the spell by Kiera Metz to transform white mice into white horses, 3:40)

mab (young man/son) w. Mab (from “Aen N'og Mab Taedh'morc”)

cor (choir) w. Côr (potentially a match, from “Aen N'og Mab Taedh'morc”)

me (me/ I) w. Mi (potentially a match, from “Aen N'og Mab Taedh'morc”)

y (the) w. Y (from location Aevon y Pont ar Gwennelen)

carraigh (rock) w. Carreg (from location Ard Carraigh)

llygad (eye) w. Llygad (from location Seidhe Llygad)

ess'tedd (meeting/to sit and meet) w. Eistedd (from “Darl'len, Aen Seidhe!”)

dol (valley) w. dol (from location name “Dol Niev’de”

niev (nine) w. nief (heaven) (from location name “Dol Niev’de”

This is just a glossary of terms for now- I plan to write a proper post about in-game texts at some point (though I am very busy right now with undergrad). I hope you enjoy this first segment at least! Let me know what you think about Welsh in games/media.

Tagging a few folks who might enjoy this post because some of the Welsh is straight up not changed. I found it quite funny in the magic spell cutscenes because I understood every word. Looking at you Keira Metz saying 'tair caeffyl gwyn' to summon 3 white horses!!!

@duine-aiteach @dragonleighs @crynwr-drwg @convolution @margridarnauds

#Hen Llinge #Hen Linge #The Witcher #Welsh #Cymraeg #The Witcher 3 #the witcher 3 wild hunt #Geralt of Rivia #gwynbleidd #Jaskier #Aval'lach #Yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg #triss merigold #phillipa eilhart #Keira Metz #fringilla vigo

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jam-packed · 5 months ago

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i saw someone post abt the netflix show kaos (which is good u should watch it) and during my watch, i did subject my friend to who (in motogp) would best fit the characters in the show.

spoilers cus im gonna explain them within context and talk about the ending and my prayers for a season 2 :( and 3 actually but thats it.

going to separate this in groups of confident to 🤨🤨🤨 yk. anyways.

Set In Stone (to me):

zeus - TOTALLYYYY vale. eccentric bastards, but very entertaining, very likable in the beginning despite their wrongdoings. i feel like in a different world, vale would be wearing tracksuits around his big ass mansion but a guy has to find joy in dressing like a 15 yo boy so props ig (speaking of, i LOVEEE the wardrobe of this show. muy muy bueno to me.....) both have such an intense paranoia on how others receive them and their eternal impact on the world. its all about aging and their race to defy it, but they cant and that comes to be their downfall. regardless, theyre both crazy powerful and crazy in general they are like. the same guy.

poseidon - jorge lorenzo. in some inherent way. poseidon is jorge to me. theres the (for lack of a better term) jealously that poseidon has for zeus (in terms of hera) that jorge has w vale when it comes to personability/marketability. that, and the way poseidon acts is very jorge to me as well. the way he stands like hes in drag race. anyways, theres a nonchalance to poseidon's character and how he interacts with humans that makes me think, "yeah if jorge had this much power, he would act in this way."

hear me out here. hera - dani. not just because hera and poseidon are having an affair, mind you. but yes also mostly that. because im not knowledgeable about dani uh at all im going to base this on how ive seen him ride in the past. dani, to me, is an incredibly strong rider, hes very determined and sound in his efforts. but theres always someone stronger. and while that doesnt inherently mean he is fearful of them, i feel like within the context of the show, hed probably act in the same ways hera does despite how highly she considers herself. hera's a cunt in this and tbh dani is cunt to me with that crazy power i think hed be similar. also im not saying that dani sucks as a rider, its just. the vale/casey/jorge/marc of it all 😕 bad timing

prometheus - casey fuckin stoner, man. were casey and vale ever friends? idk im sure at points. they follow each other on instagram and casey loves to hate so idk. regardless, casey would be totally on board to help a cosmic plan to take down vale, would he kill his wife for it? real vale, no, zeus vale, its reaching towards the table. prometheus and stoner dont have the same humor, but theyre smart, they know how to act. even if casey isnt one for media, he can beat vale on a bike (ducatis on the straights omgggg). and prometheus and zeus are this weird battle of wits and intelligence. im not saying vale is stupid, im saying that he is blind to his insecurities and that can harm him in the same way it hurts zeus in this series.

marc has to have his own segment cus i could make arguments for 4 different characters. walk with me:

riddy/eurydice - stubborn, headstrong, cunt(y), defined moral code. riddy is such an interesting person within this show and i think marc is very similar to her in some respects. one of the main downsides though is the lack of codependency she has with literally anyone. shes not close to a lot of people, shes kinda isolated (from what i interpret, and idk if thats the fault of orpheus but for the sake of ease, lets say riddy does it herself), but she can connect with people easily. marc doesnt really do that. one, no álex, thats never gonna happen; two, he has a hard time being alone, their upbringings are incredibly different, which may have a major part to play in all of that, and that would kinda change who marc is (duh)---if he were alone all his life rather than surrounded by his closest friends and family, as he is now. so, if you want like. bezquez with a sour note, then yeah go marc eurydice, but idk its not my favorite. maybe luca or pecco (pecco is NOT riddy do not listen to me!!!!)

ari/ariadne - the brotherisms go crazy. very similar to riddy in that she is incredibly headstrong. she is not stubborn she is filled with guilt for something she didnt do my sweet lovely little pookiebear i should not be saying that whatever. so, ari's brother is the minotaur (shocker) and i think itd be interesting to explore marc's love for álex despite not knowing he's alive for YEARS (30 fucking years bro free my girl 😭😭😭). regardless, they are both smart, sympathetic to others, and get shit done when it needs to be. i think they match up as people pretty well, but we once again run into the issue of isolation and relationships throughout upbringing. ari does have some very close relationships as we see in the show (for a few episodes and then never again. ok.) like her father and her bodyguard. is that enough? idk maybe. makes me think abt santi........who will come up later actually. all to say, i think theyd make similar decisions to each other, i think marc if put in this story would be ari to an s (close enough, is my joke). anyways, marc is a good ari if you want a calm, semi-levelheaded marc (who kills someone) who will very likely end up with dionysus. but off the dome idk who dionysus could be. hm.

dionysus - he was my favorite in the show im sorry i want my faves to be each other. dionysus is such a character, hes so guy, i need him to get his cat back. ok, so dionysus is the son of zeus and he wants more responsibility/power---upsettingly, because of how marc is as a rider, i think this is why he ISNT dionysus. dionysus is a character that has to grow into himself (by learning about love ❤️) by killing his dad. haha i joke. but cmon. anyways in the context of dionysus's original goal, ehhhh not marc. but dionysus has this (again for lack of a better term) eccentricity that reminds me of marc. they have larger than life qualities but theyre quite mellow outside of that, they want people to be happy, they want love to prevail, if dennis was shiva he would do the exact same things dionysus does with that cat (carry it everywhere). theres a distance dionysus has with humanity that he loses over the course of the series, and i think thats interesting in marc's case cus once again NOT MARC!!! marc, from accounts that arent him (livio suppo is the only name in my mind rn) say that marc is very like. stable. hes a good kid, he doesnt let fame get to him (or at least how he treats others cus wtf is his house), and dionysus's arc is about connecting w humanity and i dont think marc would really have that problem. yes this was a waste of time yes it was just me convincing myself marc cannot logically be dionysus. this is my post man lemme do what i want :(

persephone - a lot of girls here. wonder what that says about how i view marc. womp womp idgaf. so, persephone is queen of the underworld, wife to hades. she LOVES hades and if we're thinking about old men and the young(ish) people that love them. santi. dovi. persephone is not one to lay down and take it, but hades is so gives me smth to play w in terms of who im going to make not a (I HAVE NO BETTER TERMS) pussy. persephone also loves love, she wants to help the gods because she wants to help her husband but she knows that isnt possible with what the gods (ZEUS COUGH COUGH) are asking them to do, so she defies them, she lies to them, she cares for her husband, she feels sympathy for dionysus and helps him to realize zeus is a lying bastard cunt. with great hair. marc to me. again, like ari, he seems the guy to put his money where his mouth he, he WILL do whats best for people cus he knows they deserve it, he wants to help, he will repay kindness, he doesnt forget (dionysus argument actually. repaying kindness this but i digress).

ares - ares literally isnt in the show yet. he got a technical mention in the last moments of the last episode but like idk......based on my knowledge of motogp and greek mythology and also his name is marc i think itd be cool.........put my man in the show give him a sword let him go ham let him kill god vale pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pl

marc my beautiful enigma u cannot be placed. except i think ari is your best bet at accuracy. especially if we're talking human strength and determination, ari n marc brother.

semi confident but could consider others

orpheus - marco bezzecchi. in my heart of hearts, as much as i love bez, he would probably act like orpheus. omggg hes so in love, he WOULD journey to the underworld but also hes a little evil hes a cunt hes a bastard hes cringefail but hes winning. except not really at all. orpheus has this tendency to. self-pity is my best assumption at a word. very whiny man. to me. cus i didnt really feel bad for him throughout the show. anyways, bez does have that intense loyalty that orpheus has, i do think he would do what orpheus does. bez is also kinda a cunt sometimes and i think he would say and do the twat things that orpheus does as well. the hardest part abt bezpheus is like. whos gonna fall out of love with him. you got a lot of options but they all kinda dont make sense yk? pecco just doesnt make sense w the character, cele does make sense he just probably wouldnt fall out of love or be in love in the first place, luca is also an option. luca marini my cringefail bestfriend who is famous and good at sports and doesnt know me, actually yea its luca. honda move, its luca.

riddy (again) - luca. it needs its own section ok i feel like i need to explain myself. luca, currently, looks like he wants to explode and die, he wants out of his fuckass brother's shadow (i dont hate vale im just full of vitriol) and if we transfer those feelings to loveless marriage, do we see how being hit by a truck and shipped off to the underworld and choosing to go to honda (I LIKE HONDA OK IM SORRY) are similar. did riddy choose to die? no its fate she doesnt really have a choice, but grand scheme of things did luca have a choice? idk, talk it up with a philosopher. im a math major, i could care less (lying).

caeneus (i think?) - álex. i think they look similar. i see caeneus and i go omg its álex márquez 2 time world champ in motorsports brother of marc márquez. also theres this weird like almost timidness that caeneus has that i feel is very similar to how álex acts and talks. hes kinda, and this is going to sound so mean to álex, average. however, he is meant for something more, he is more than the surface level by a long shot. and i think thats true for álex as well. caeneus is also very truthful, hes going to get mad at you, if he doesnt wanna tell you shit he wont but hes not gonna walk around it idly, and álex is a marc lie detector so. theres that. again, some downsides, no codependency brothers wth. anyways luca álex ship name. lucquez. aluca. lucalex. rosquez 2 less evil edition. this is so hard cus of fuckin marc bro free me.

not super confident but sure id consider it

dionysus - pecco. vale son, the favorite at some moments, biffs it at others. i dont think pecco has a problem with loving others in the way that dionysus does (aro dionysus slay) but i think theres mentalities that they both have (given by their respective parental figures) that hinder them in similar ways. pecco does not have dionysus's early personality. pecco is very calm, very controlled, (very mindful very demure) but he can also fight with someone after they crash into him, hes not gonna take everything lightly. idk if hes quick to forgive, nor do i know if hes privy to stew in his feelings. one of the primary relationships (thats explored in the show) dionysus has is with zeus. he visits zeus (the only child to do so), he gives zeus gifts (that get rejected), he steals from him (lmao), he defies him (yayy), he gets punished for defying him (NOO FUCK). turbo as dennis ough the thought brings me anguish. anyways, i think with dionysus being a sort of foil to zeus it works with pecco being a foil to vale. evil vale would say flopnaia is a disappointment tho. anyways, if flopnaia were dionysus, hed probably be feeling and doing and saying the same things as d is in the show. would he be as sexually promiscuous? probably not so yk. confidence low. but woah omg very likely marcnaia what a trip.

i dont wanna write an explanation cus this is getting too long but bez could also be considered for dionysus. literally any vr46 boy could lbr.

and tbh anyone else in the cast would confuse the shit outta me i dont know enough people in motogp in that way. i barely know the ones im talking about 😭😭😭 anyways pls diregard everything i said because it makes no sense to try to put people in the correct slots of other media, just write based on the person, not the character you want to portray, thats what makes them interesting, its what allows for different stories and outcomes. all to say i did this for nothing ❤️

#motogp #kaos #im clinically insane #i did not need to do this at all jfc #it took me like 2 hours to think abt and write all of this free me from the hell that is my brain

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inventedfangirling · 1 year ago

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bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

ah finally after a gazillion years i've been able to get around to doing this after being tagged by the ever sweet @fiercynn , so lemme straightaway get down to it.

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc.

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hello there, i'm a 24 year old gray-ace panromantic desi on the romance positive end of the arospec (im still undergoing the wonderful but also often difficult and long journey of discovering myself so this is subject to change :3), i prefer going by my username so i'm not sharing my name.

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched bad buddy exactly 3 months ago on the 15th of May, 2023. i watched all the episodes all on the same day and i know the date because after finishing the show i sent a 7 minute long audio note gushing about the show to my best friend. i ADORED it that much. and that's where all of this started. i loved the show so much and the lack of people i knew irl who were interested meant i had to find other people in the fandom to freak out with. i kept posting one after another favourite bad buddy edit of mine on my twitter page, gushing about it, but i got barely any response and that's when i reminded myself that tumblr exists and i should get back on here. and that's how i made this account 2 weeks after i watched the show and voila here i am surrounded by people who are as crazy about the show as i am and i couldn't be more delighted about it :')

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa ofc

favorite character(s)

i love pat with all my heart, the man he ends up becoming along the course of the show is one of my most favorite portrayals of any man ever BUT pran is my actual favorite, he is my baby, (somehow both) my elder and younger brother and my best friend and he has my whole heart. his love, his hesitance, his anxiety, his bravery, his dimples, his FOREHEAD, his striped shirts, his precious heart i would DIE for him no questions asked.

favorite episode(s)

episode 11. each segment had something for the heart, i adored every single second of it...the sheer volume of beaut quotes from this episode is mind blowing! ("being with you already feels like freedom", "i can be anywhere as long as i have you", "we have been happier a lot too", "thankyou for trying to make a silly guy like me happy..." "i wrote this song for him", "one man can't change the world, but this world can't change me too"), and the soft loving looks of adoration making me clutch my chest, but also there was the quintessential patpran banter and bad buddy humour and wisdom i LOVE this episode with all my heart.

episode 5 is perfection. it comes second for me, but that kiss will always be number 1 <3

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, balcony phone call, episode 7 ending when pat comes to save the day and the play, episode 11 red shirts commitment expression scene, and the final credits and post credits scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

i wished the gangs didnt bully eo or anybody else even in the beginning, i get it shows growth but still i wished that was shown differently. also i wish we got a conversation where they talk about the guitar. and while we're here i wish it was somehow longer, i could have watched ohmnanon be patpran for HOOOURS.

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

traffic was slow for the crash years by @fiercynn aka the creator of this meme. i absolutely adored every single second of the fic. despite it giving me a WORLD of pain. all the pain made it more beautiful and everything was worth it in the end. like i said before you took a great thing and made it even better <3

every piece of art that @hereforlou comes up with. you are a GEM!

all of nanons gorgeous gifsets!!

same page video edit that even p'aof tweeted about. SO good.

enchanted (aka patpran's official song) and other patpran edits by this same SO very talented editor

mudhal nee mudivum nee - another beautiful edit but desi so its even better <3

this super clever edit of patpran to message in a bottle. it's an instant serotonin booster for me.

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

you can hear it in the silence - bad buddy bet era fic (the only one i've written till now)

my bad buddy textposts collection

my pran and pat's growth posts

this post that took me 20 mins to write but is one of my fav things ive written about the show

my long treatise of bet era patpran that took me a week!

list of accounts (hopefully i haven't forgotten any) whose meta and analysis and brainrot i absolutely adore- @miscellar , @telomeke-bbs , @grapejuicegay , @aroceu, @dudeyuri, @dribs-and-drabbles, @dimplesandfierceeyes, @sharingfandoms, @waitmyturtles, @ranchthoughts, @lurkingteapot, @lurkingshan, @thegayneurodivergentagenda, @kenmakaashi, @absolutebl, @charthanry, @bengiyo, @mahuhumaling, @panickedbisexualwatchesbl, @jemmo, @patspran, @fiercynn, @midnightfreeway, @fierceeyesanddimples and a couple more im sure ive missed. it was {and continues to be} a pleasure reading their thoughts about the show (or any other show that we've mutually watched).

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

message in a bottle because of this edit

daylight cos of this edit

enchanted, because of the infinite edits we've got from it and if im not wrong pat ohm has acknowledged it too

and basically all other romantic songs in the history of romance i guess :3

alrighty then i think i'm done with this tag. this was a LOT of fun to compile <3

#bad buddy #bad buddy getting to know you meme #bad buddy fanworks recs #bbs fandom #bad buddy fandom #bad buddy the series #patpran

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tumblydovereviews · 6 months ago

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In Defense of Caillou

Growing up, my family was one of the very few who weren't avid members of the Caillou hate wagon. It was, and still is, one of my dad's favorite shows that I watched as a kid, and he was genuinely surprised when I revealed to him all the hate the show has managed to amass. I watched plenty of Caillou as a kid, and I'm happy to report that I came out perfectly normal, if not a bit energetic for my age.

Yes, Caillou is not a perfect show by any means. With the characters having little-to-no personality outside of existing in this hairless child's kingdom, annoying voices, and the infamous tantrum scenes, it's no wonder why this show has become so hated, and still is to this day. But I don't think I'm being too generous when I say that Caillou has some merit to it that I feel is overlooked by the general public.

Contrary to public belief, Caillou isn't actually a lonely cancer patient or an alopecia victim- he is actually based off a French book series that originally depicted him as a baby rather than a toddler. To make sure kids could still recognize him even with the age increase, it was decided that Caillou would remain bald. In my personal opinion, I think the creators made the right call. Young kids are still learning how to recognize differences, and chances are if Caillou did have hair, the sudden change in appearance would be overwhelming. It may be weird to us older people, but to kids, keeping Caillou as recognizable as possible was a serviceable move.

A lot of people tend to forget that Caillou is a four-year-old, which is surprising considering that it is established in the literal first line of the theme song (I'm just a kid whose four.) Being four, Caillou is destined to have tantrums, moments where he acts bratty and less than a saint. The real issue comes with the lack of emphasis on condemning the behavior and instead focusing on solving rather than learning. Caillou's parents are the original permissive parents, and one could compare them to the overly gentle parents that exist on TikTok. They rarely call out their son when he does act out and instead dismiss his behavior to the side. The 2020s revival series does a much better job at balancing gentle fairness with firmness. When Caillou or Rosie misbehave, they are scolded for it while also steered in the right direction in an imaginative way, arguably more creative than Boris or Doris' tactics in the original show ever amounted up to being.

Caillou has surprisingly great representation for a preschool show in the 90s, especially in terms of disability and other medical conditions. The show features episodes spotlighting deafness, Down syndrome, autism, wheelchair usage, and even Type 1 diabetes. The episodes in particular talk mainly about how the chronically ill/disabled character is still able to function perfectly normally, even with the condition they have. As a diabetic myself, the episode Emma's Extra Snacks always stood out to be, even before I was officially diagnosed. Diabetes representation and the stigma surrounding it is an issue that not many pieces of media discuss, and I'm happy that Caillou has the courage to tackle a subject that can and has been botched so easily.

And let's not forget the puppet segments, arguably the best part of Caillou. These puppet segments focused on three of Caillou's furry companions: Gilbert the cat, Rexy the T-Rex, and Teddy the teddy bear as they go on miscellaneous adventures around Caillou's house. My personal favorite of the trio was Gilbert and his 'odes.' The segments, while on the more basic side, provide a good enough distraction from Caillou's escapades, even if only for five minutes, before we were forced to go back to the bald boy's basic ballads.

While writing this post, I came up a post online asking if people would rather have their kids watch Caillou or Skidibl Toilet. If faced with a decision like this in real life, I'd turn on Caillou in an instant. Caillou has done a lot of bad, but deep down, we can't forget that the show's main intention, no matter how botched it ended up turning out, was to teach kids about life. I would much rather live in a world with mildly annoying preschool shows than brain rot which serves no purpose but to gradually disintegrate a person's cognitive functions.

He's just a kid who's four, and each day he grows some more, so I think that we need to start growing on him, just a smidge more.

#caillou #pbs kids #sprout #tumblydovereviews

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mryaksalot · 1 year ago

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Important changes to my Backstory AU(OUTDATED)

TW: This post is going to be sorta long, so buckle up.

As you may know, there have been a lack of many new chapters to my story The Road To Success on AO3 these past several months. I've been trying my damn hardest to keep up with updates, but I don't always have the free time in order to write. I have to attend school, work a job, deal with family matters; those things take priority too. I don't have as much free time as I used to back in 2021.

That being said, I still hold a lot of passion for this story. I first got the idea for this story all the way back at the beginning of 2021. It started as just an insightful thought, a drabble I created inside my head. Overtime, I kept expanding on the idea, fleshing out the world, making this story the best it could possibly be. Now we're at the point where the story is over 120,000 words, and it's not even half of the way done yet! I never anticipated for this story to be this long, but here we are.

Now if you are thinking that this post is about me throwing The Road To Success in the can, I just want to clarify that this story IS NOT being cancelled. But the way the story is written and formatted is going to change from what you have seen up to this point.

Just so I am transperent with you guys, here is a list of all of the changes to The Road To Success, as well as the Backstory AU as a whole.

1. The main story, The Road To Success, will be significantly shorter than the original version. The OG version, the version that I have stuck to while initially writing this story, was planned to have 40-50 chapters. That is just not possible anymore, with how busy my life has become. This new version of the story will now have roughly 30-35 chapters. As of writing this, the exact number of chapters has not been decided yet; that will be determined by the end of the year (at the latest).

2. The new version of TRTS (Acronym for The Road To Success) will be more Yakko-centric. I originally wanted to insert a bunch of extra sideplots into the main story, specifically after the Warners become actors. Wakko and Dot were supposed to have their own friend groups, and we would get the chance to see their perspectives as well as Yakko's. However, these sideplots take away from the main story, which is overall more important in the longterm. That dosen't mean Wakko and Dot won't be given any time in the spotlight (they are gonna play some significant roles later on), but I don't want their misadventures to take too much time away from the main storyline.

3. Some of the lore (the details on how the world works in this universe, how certain characters act, family trees etc.) have been and are subject to being changed and altered. I'm very much a perfectionist when it comes to the little details; they're very important imo. Sometimes, I will change my mind about a certain detail and decide to change it on a whim. I will try to restrain these changes to the lore based on what I have already written/talked about publicly, in order to not create too much confusion going foward.

4. The Backstory AU will be expanded beyond The Road To Success. That's right, folks! TRTS is getting a companion story, in order to fill in those lore gaps to answer questions that have yet to be answered. This story will focus on the parents of the Warners, covering their childhood, as well as their inevitable downfall as members of society. More details regarding this companion Peice will be elaborated on in a later post. I'm also cooking up a Christmas story, which will serve as somewhat of a flashback to previous events in TRTS. This story will come out on (you guessed it) Christmas of this year.

5. So you may be wondering to yourself: What's gonna happen to the scrapped segments of TRTS? Well that's where my drabble collection comes in. A month ago, I created a drabble collection titled Splats Of Ink, a collection of oneshots featuring headcanons, future story ideas, and now scrapped segments of already established stories. I'm thinking about fleshing out these Alternate scenes of TRTS, to show you what could have been. Expect the first of these scrapped-segment-reimagined drabbles to come out this April.

So, that's a decent laundry list of all the updates that I have made to the Backstory AU as of late. Chapter 15 is in the works as we speak, and will most likely come out sometime in March. Then it will be smooth sailing into Chapter 16 and so on! There's lots of exciting things in the works, and I can't wait to share it all with you.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read through the whole thing. Feel free to ask questions if you need me to elaborate further on these changes. Your patience and support is most appreciated.

#yaksalot yaks #yaksalot fanfics #Backstory AU #ao3 #a message to my followers #animaniacs fanfiction #animaniacs #long post

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knightyoomyoui · 2 years ago

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MiSa/2Na (Mina x Sana)- “Little Miss Perfect”

On a lovely sunny morning, an exceptional student walks down the hall. Everyone's eyes are on her, yet there are no signals of anger or disgust in their eyes whenever they get a glimpse of her near them. It's just another usual scenario everyday in the life for her, she thought. She was already used to it, so she neglected them and concentrated instead on going to her locker. But it doesn't mean it doesn't effect her either. She just can't share or convey it to anybody who has been staring at her with utter fascination and amazement when she isn't very good at talking or engaging with those with whom she isn't even close with. Who exactly is this girl anyway?

She is Myoui Mina: a nerdy, introverted, soft and pure college girl who epitomizes beauty and intelligence.

She is constantly chosen by her instructors and classmates to represent their area in school pageants and academic competitions, which she has won the majority of. Being humble, Mina believes that there are other prettier classmates of hers who deserve to be placed in positions to participate in such pageants, but she is aware that they are no match for her when it comes to the Q&A segment, which is a very significant requirement for the event to be won, so she has no option but to accept.

Although she knows deep inside that some of them are already building up jealousy over her and that worries her. She never meant to develop a rival or enemies in the school. She just want peace and a normal day for her and others to study well.

Through those, it garnered her popularity around the school with the fact of how she possesses a gift of being smart and being beautiful at the same time.

She was happy that atleast she ain't get ignored by many because of only being nerd but sometimes she just can't help but to feel like as if it's getting way too much attraction now.

Like I said, she's an introvert. She only has a very limited time interacting and getting closer together with somebody.

And what irritates her a bit is the number of male fans trying to win her over through their different ways of presenting their charm, doing pick up moves and even directly asking her to go out.

But ofcourse, she is also a straightforward woman as a match to some admirers of hers in the campus, particularly men; through rejecting their date offers or confessions politely.

She observes and analyze how those men take action only for her and she's quite confident that most of them are just focusing into her beauty more on her the outside than to explore how great her personality and kind-hearted on the inside too.

So, secretly she may be looked like as if she's feeling bad for rejecting those fans, but in all honesty she's just huffing an air and an immediate disappointment she felt for them. No signs of mercy either, they deserve it he believes.

That's not only the straight one within her that we could describe on her too. Well let's mention about some of her looks. It includes also her hair which she never color or even change its style.

Perfectly shoulder-length black straight hair match with her innocent gorgeous face is enough for her and it wasn't hrr intention if the students that would be seeing her would began admiring her with these.

Aside from those, her grades in every subjects and her goals through her studies is what made her overall to be proclaimed as the 'Little Miss Perfect' of the campus.

A character whose role is to only focus forward on her studies without allowing any distractions (that being, relationships) to be simply great and excel in subjects and only display how it contributes to her well-being as a student.

She also is right on time on every schedule since she is the appointed head of the student council in their campus. It was a sureball win to her because the members voted for her basically due to her popularity and her ability to critically think for how can they bring development to the campus.

Outside her school image, she was always being invited by her circle of friends to join on parties. Not to drink though, she is allergic to alcohol; but to just chill and have fun until there's the signal for her to assist her drunk friends as the only one who doesn't completely black out at all.

About her favorites, well she likes music and can sing too. Mostly she jams to the songs of her favorite artists like Paul McCartney, Queen, Taylor Swift and many more.

She can dance ballet too, that's also one of the things everybody in the campus knows about her that she is a ballerina too.

Lastly, to make it short; she loves video games. Her all-time picks would be games such as Minecraft, League Of Legends and Apex Legends which she spend her entire free day grinding onto these.

Yup, she is definitely perfect as what everyone describes about her; although what they know is only not that more than meets the eyes yet.

She has everything, and many would think that she's doing very fine everyday since problems won't even last on her due to her many hobbies she can do to entertain herself and the fact also that she's literally living in such a rich background where anything she wants, she gets.

But that's the part where they are clearly mistaken.

If she will be asked how she doing everyday, she's confident to confusingly admit; she's unsure of what she would reply... because that's exactly what she's feeling within these several thoughts popping inside her head.

There was a time where she's in the middle of her deep guessing as she's asking herself what did she do to deserve all of her blessings into her life to be spoiled by her stepparents who adopted and raised her since she was little.

It still feels surreal for her to reach where she is at right now. Studying in one of the most prestigeous schools in Korea, a car, a mansion they live in, expensive clothes, huge allowance and many more. She knows these won't be nothing for her to experience if it wasn't for them.

It makes her wonder why it makes her feel special when she wasn't even their biological child unlike her older brother and she knows she made some mistakes that they might despise and put her in a consequence rather.

However, on the good side; she is very thankful and lucky to meet such an amazing people like them that she can proudly call the only family she has in her life.

In the middle of her messy thoughts, she got unexpectedly received an accidental bump on her shoulder from someone who is passing through the hallway.

It snapped her out from being separated from the reality and rotated her head quickly to look at who did it.

The other one did the same and they both locked eyes, which Mina became astounded at how breathtaking this girl really look.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bump you, I am just late in the class right now!", the girl stutteredly apologized at her.

"Y-you can go now, don't worry about i-it.", Mina calms down the nervous girl as she disregards what happened.

"Thank you for your understanding!!!", the girl gratefully shouted at her before vanishing in her eyes, sprinting back at her feet to rush onwards her class.

Now Mina was left alone again in this silent hallway, processing her curiosity on who that girl is and why does it feel like she saw her before.

Not to mention, her heart was increasing its beats as she began replaying her first conversation with that girl she met earlier.

4 DAYS LATER

Days have passed, and thanks to the help of her circle of friends; she learned that the girl she bumped into at the hallway days ago is named Minatozaki Sana.

Sana is student in the same grade from the other section just beside Mina's classroom, no wonder why Mina speculated that she felt like she had saw her around previously.

She is also Japanese and recently she was added as the newest member of the Badminton team of the campus after she passed the training. She already gathered a lot of attention from others who watched the tryouts where she showcased her great playing skills at the said sport.

Mina didn't know that Sana is a close friend of her own friends particularly Momo, another Japanese friend and fellow seatmate of hers, which explains how she got to know Sana even better.

She was eating in the cafeteria with her 7 other girl buddies at the same table when the oldest of them all named Nayeon commanded someone with a shout to come closer at them.

All of the eyes went to the direction where Nayeon is looking and calling at, and there Mina and Sana's eyes met at one another once again for the second time, with full familiarity.

"Finally, it's been a long time since you got to eat with us in recess Sana.", the one who has the most mother-like personality of them named Jihyo said.

Momo hummed as she watches Sana come closer on their spot. "Mmm!!! Suhnuh yurr furna-"

Her words got interrupted when she felt a stinging pain on her shoulder caused by the impact of a light slap made by Jeongyeon, the one with the bobbed cut hairstyle sitting beside her.

"Pabo, swallow the food you're chewing first.", Jeongyeon aka the second mom of the group scolded the eating mochine who elicited a poor whimper in response.

"It's bad to speak when your mouth is full, do you remember that Momoring?"

"Y-yes... pardon.", Momo nodded and replied after she gulped the food in her mouth. Sana just chuckled at the hilarious sight of her two crackhead friends.

Mina looked away and glared at her food after she heard that adorable giggle while staring at her face that somehow panicked something she couldn't identify.

"I'm sorry if I haven't got to be with you girls a lot for a month, God I'm really trying to improve my grades, responsibilities in the house and attending trainings everyday at the same time.", Sana apologetically pouted and said to all of them after she took the empty seat offered to her by a pale skinned friend of hers named Dahyun.

"That's completely fine to us, Sana and you know that right?", Jihyo said, speaking in behalf for the others. "We just hope that you're not struggling and stressing yourself too much with all of these. You know you have us to approach anytime to help you right?"

"I have it in my mind always, Jihyo-ssi... but I'm also training myself to stand up on my own feet and not depend much on others like what I used to before which particularly didn't work because I'm not in my best state as a student then.", Sana explained.

"But I swear, this time I can assure all of you that you'll be getting something from me. I can somehow manage to improve myself while being busy these days.", she lets out a sweet smile that made the girls awed in relief.

Sana was about to release her lunchbox in her bag when she caught the image of Mina's lowered head while eating her own lunch right in front of her.

Her forehead crumpled in curiosity and eyes went wider when a light ticked in her head as she recalled something from Mina.

"H-hey! Y-you're the one I bumped into few days ago at the hallway aren't you?", Sana asked and pointed Mina who stopped from her movements including the other girls around them who became initially confused at what Sana is pertaining to.

Mina carefully raised her head, revealing her face to the bubbly Japanese. "It's you!", Sana said as she finally recognized her.

"Eh?", all of the girls resonated the same reaction.

"Y-yeah... hi.", Mina shyly greets Sana after she got cornered from the truth.

The rest turned their head at Mina who was taken aback at the sudden action, which got her nervous. "W-why?"

"You never told us that both of you already met?", the blonde girl with chic aura named Chaeyoung unbelievably said.

"I-... uhm sorry. I didn't thought that it would be relevant for me to share it with you guys that I just got bumped into a stranger which ended up being actually her though."

"Point taken.", the tallest of the gang named Tzuyu acknowledged Mina's understandable reason.

"So... since both of you don't know each other well yet, why don't the both of you introduce yourselves to each other then?", Nayeon suggested.

Sana nodded enthusiastically and grinned broadly, liking the idea. Mina's cool with it too but she can't wear off the unpleasant feeling she has in her still as she finally meeting face to face with the girl that piqued her interest ever since that accidental bump.

"Hiiii! I'm Minatozaki Sana, nice to finally meet you!", she stood up and bent on the table; offering her handshake at Mina who got flustered at the willingness.

"She's already in our group before we met and accepted you to be one of us Minari, by the way.", Jeongyeon added a fun fact which surprised Mina at the revelation that Sana is already one of the originals with them before Momo met her and introduces her to the gang.

"I-I'm Myoui Mina. Nice to meet you too, Sana.", she smiled softly and accepted Sana's handshake. Her touch is so firm and gentle, it sends shivers to her skin which she is clueless why her body reacted that way.

"Let's be friends starting today, okay?!", Sana energetically said.

"Sure."

The rest clapped happily at their two friends finally set the starting point of the buildup of their closeness to one another.

Days afterwards, Mina would get the chance to be whether with or without Sana.

Although she is still acting awkward, she can't deny that she is having fun especially when she have a ray of sunshine spending time closely with her, discovering how bubbly and such a wonderful person she is to be with, which earned more reasons why she's getting this weird feeling whenever Sana is near her.

And that lively effect that Sana brings out on Mina caused her to be oblivious on the reality that she's setting out a free time just to attend early on every scene where Sana would be present around.

She became even more motivated to enter and listen during the other classes where Sana would be her classmate, especially when she gets a glance of her bright demeanor as a sign that she understands the teacher's lectures.

Sometimes, Mina voluntarily joins or even invites her other friends by herself to watch some couple of games where Sana's team would be facing their assigned opponent of theirs. Fortunately, they won all of it and it's such refreshing thing to see Sana victorously happy about it.

Mina even tutored Sana on Calculus on the afternoon after class at her own house.

She was barely hanging on her composure during the entire time she spent being alone with Sana, most likely when she's sitting and pursing her face very close to her as she attentively focusing on her instructions throughout every lessons she struggling with.

Most notably, at the part when Sana began noticing that Mina doesn't look at her when she's answering her concerns about the solutions Mina is solving and writing on the notebook; Sana attempted to tease the younger by cupping her chin and pull up her head which resulted for the dumbfounded Mina to stare directly at Sana's alluring and enticing face. The gap between each other's head is just few inches away for their nose to even touch its tip.

Sana giggled when Mina began blushing intensely and tightlipped, finding it hilarious at how embarassed the nerdy girl is. To escape the hot seat moment, Mina came up with the idea to just join the flow of Sana's funtime by playfully smashing her with her pillow in revenge for teasing her which elicited a laughter from the cunning squirrel.

Most recent one to include with these proofs is the championship game that is currently happening at the arena inside their campus again.

Mina along with her circle of friends are present to watch their fellow friend Sana fight alongside with her teammates against the opposing side who holds the crown as the defending champions.

It is the Finals being held and they're now on the last set of the game where both are slated to a tie. One of the players from each teams are now doing their best to execute a tie breaking plan to end the season.

Successfully, Sana's team did it when the other player from the opposite side failed to catch the rough hit of Sana's teammate after she passed it to her then transferring it to them which was ended up unsaved; thus winning not only the game but also the trophy and become the new champions of the season.

Sana was crowned the MVP and all of the girls including Mina celebrated in joy as she waved her hands in glee at them.

After receiving the award, Sana encouraged to have a picture with all of them then photo by pair as her with every one of her friends inside their group.

Mina took her turn last and Sana unpatiently tugged her arm, placed her to the side, arms wrapped to Mina's waist that made their bodies close to one another as well as when Sana did a pose that required her to lean closer to Mina's face and show a kissing look with a peace sign.

Mina realized what Sana is doing, side-eyeing her plump lips presented very close to her. Her cheeks burned red and turned her eyes back at the camera then smiled sheepishly.

(This is the closest I can give hehe - Author) After the picture, Mina hastily rotated her body away from Sana in shock and nervousness as the look of Sana's pouting lips began to haunt her the whole night even after going back home and sleep in her dream only full of it.

She fanned her face panickedly with her hand, but she didn't noticed that there's others who instantly noticed her suspicious reaction after her duo picture with Sana, their eyes squinted before their lips transformed into a sly smirk.

The next day, Mina joined with her two friends who lives almost close to their neighborhood: Jeongyeon and Tzuyu as they head their way through Sana's house after the invitation she did for all of them to come in her place and join her celebrate their victory last night in a party.

Strangely, Mina hesitated when Jeongyeon and Tzuyu asked her through chat but little does the Japanese know that it was intentionally a way to tease the girl.

And now that her reply even adds to the fact that she's acting very weird when it comes to Sana, that leaves them to a high possibility they can believe of.

During their walk, Jeongyeon nodded to Tzuyu for a go signal which the tall maknae initiated.

"Unnie.", Tzuyu referred to Mina.

"Hmm?"

"What do you think about Sana?"

"H-huh?", Mina became puzzled, not taking what's the point of Tzuyu asking this.

"Just answer it unnie.", Tzuyu scoffed and jokingly presented an irritating expression.

"O-okay...", Mina muttered. "She's a great friend. Always fun to be with, full of positivity that is very contagious for you to be like her, talented and beautiful."

"Is that only, Minari?", Jeongyeon took the turn to ask.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?", Jeongyeon's tone gotten different, turning into a playful cooing one.

"W-what else do you want me to say? I already told everything?", Mina furrowed her brows while caressing her arm.

"Oh so you want us to help you remind what we believe is missing then?", Jeongyeon asked. "Alright, we'll do it ourselves."

Tzuyu began smirking and walked to the left side of Mina to make her sandwiched between her and Jeongyeon, trapping her for and urge to create a revelation.

"Last night, we saw something made us think that everything you just said to us meant more than that, unnie."

"We saw you trying your best to make your tomato looking face disappear after Sana took a picture with you only.", Jeongyeon playfully nudged Mina's shoulder whose chills suddenly got increasing slowly as she understood where they are going with this.

"You can't just do that when you don't feel any signs of... let's just say, admiration and love to somebody who caused something to have you doing that, right? Especially when that's your friend we're talking about here.", Jeongyeon continued.

"What do you guys want to imply about it?", Mina asked tensefully.

"Mina-unnie, do you have a crush on Sana-unnie?", Tzuyu threw the dart on the bullseye, going for the jackpot question as they finally asked what gets them curious about the strange action Mina did yesterday.

Mina's whole reaction expanded in shock as two of her friends seemingly discovered the possibility of the secret behind everything she's experiencing when it's about Sana.

"M-me?", Mina hysterically baffled. "As if you girls don't know me. I'm straight and only into boys okay? I won't be falling into girls like me, specifically Sana-unnie herself. It can't be possible."

"But do you think you know us, Minari?", Jeongyeon retorted. "You never did, and we want you to know why."

"You don't realize it by yourself, do you? Girl, who in the hell would turn their face away swiftly and try to erase the color of a ketchup running around the surface of her cheeks and try to wash it off away with the air you make just because you had a picture alone with your bestfriend... and let's say that it's also a girl you're belong with."

"Mina-unnie, that isn't normal at all for a friendship. You know a friend won't be capable of doing that if it doesn't affects you more when you don't even treat that friend of yours differently.", Tzuyu added.

"You may be denying and covering the speculation with your own reasoning of being a true straight girl but... recall and analyze carefully everything that you did only for her. It's never too late for something to change, and I'm referring to what you identify yourself Mina-unnie."

"So what am I then to you?"

"The other way around of what you believe yourself to be."

Mina chuckled. "So you're saying that I'm n-not straight anymore? T-that I am what? A bisexual?"

"Exactly.", Tzuyu and Jeongyeon both replied at the same time.

Mina shook her head aggressively. "No. I can't. There's no way. Sana's just my friend really and I'll be into boys that which will remain to be like that. Get o-over it girls."

"Mina, seriously? We never even heard anything from you being interested on any men from our campus frequently.", Jeongyeon ridiculously commented.

"You rather mention Sana most of the time, and at first we were so dumb to not sense something different; thinking that your closeness with her just grown so much... not until we saw you acting like you successfully earned a picture with the one you're falling in love with secretly.", Tzuyu said. Mina then started to rewind back all of her moments with and what led her always to Sana to check if what she's saying is true.

And... she just realized until now that it actually does. She did think and speaks about Sana most of the time unconsciously.

Because of that, somehow Mina was pushed to rethink and reevaluate anything she just said in offense to Jeongyeon and Tzuyu's rumors.

She began asking herself, does she really like Sana ever since they met?

Does her straight personality shifting into a bended one after their first encounter?

Is everything that is happening to all of the days passing by just gets completed if it's not mainly because of Sana.

Is she really that interested and grown another level of fond for Sana all along?

Mina lowered her head as the image of Sana pasted in her mind. "A-are you guys really sure?"

"Definitely, Mina."

Mina sighed deeply and cleared her throat before speaking. "A-actually... I admit that... it makes me confused whenever I get this.

That my heart swells and beats in a unique rhythm along with the rest of my body whenever I'm interacting with her.

It gives me goosebumps, hypnotized... sometimes I even can tell that there's like a wild sensation growing inside my stomach, and I'm trying my best to unconsider that it's the butterflies appearing within me.

S-she's the reason. All about me... is just all about her so far.", Mina looked at Jeongyeon and Tzuyu who are now silent and shockingly staring at her.

"Oh my God, Mina-unnie. It is true.", Tzuyu gasped.

"And for that to be confirmed, let me hear you say it, Minari. All of us are now agreeing to each other here, what you have to do now is to acknowledge it.", Jeongyeon encouraging Mina.

Mina rubbed the upper bridge of her nose and pathetically laughs softly at herself. "I-... I guess I do like Sana.", she shrugged.

Jeongyeon and Tzuyu cheered. "Finally! She said the thing!"

"I just want to add, when you learnt that we can watch Sana's games you even began taking the initiative on your own to invite us which you never did to us on many occassions before.", Tzuyu remembered.

"I g-guess she changed me."

"Yeah, and now you're officially welcome to the gays club. Congrats Mina, you are now a certified non-straight individual.", Jeongyeon teased and winked at Mina who only became embarassed.

"Agh, I can't believe I just said it. I don't know what's gotten into me. She's just so different it drew me in I swear.", Mina panickedly stated.

"Well, that's what love can do. It helps us discover the unique things a person does bring with theirselves which was never blessed unlike to the rest, and it satisfies us in a different turn of events.", Tzuyu said.

"So... Mina, now you just revealed to us that Sana is your crush, do you have any plans to confess to her?"

Mina looked directly through the distance where the figure of Sana's house is slowly emerging and getting closer to them as they are now going nearby to their destination.

She sighed and answered truthfully.

"That, I don't know yet."

Few hours later after arriving and congratulating Sana on her first championship win as a rookie which is very impressive and amazing to hear which allowed them to start having fun and go crazy which left the girls to get down drunk except Sana and Mina who are both limited their energy; separating theirselves from the others for being the only sober ones.

It was 10PM and the girls are now sleeping behind them. To spend the time well to battle their boredness, Sana instead decided to start some random topics for them to converse together which thankfully Mina is related on some of it.

They also exchanged some jokes they have in their pockets and even Sana offered to have Mina let her braid her hair after she discovered that she never experienced having her hair tied like that other than just a ponytail.

Helping her achieve the once in a lifetime experience, Sana finished performing a neat braid on Mina's silky, smooth black hair.

She observed it on the mirror and showered Mina with compliments pertaining to how it perfectly fits her elegant beauty which left the secret admirer to blush heavily and heart flutter badly.

As they tried to take another shot of beer in their own paper cups as they both felt thirsty again, Mina emptied her cup first and lets out a rough breath in response to the bitter and strong taste of the alcohol left to her mouth and throat.

She tilted her head at Sana, and suddenly her sight begun disrupting as things around her gone moving very slow due to the effects of the alcohol taking in towards her stability, including how Sana released the cup to her mouth.

Those pursed plump lips that was once haunted her all night was distracting Mina again and this time, the strong urge and desire of it to seduce her intensely of using the curiosity to find out how does it taste like is pulling her with much force this time.

Mina is now unable to escape as her energy left in her is now outlimited by the now turning-into- drunken state of hers.

She started moving her body closer and closer to Sana who just placed her cup on the small glass table.

Cluelessly, Sana was about to rotate her head back to face Mina when unexpectedly, she felt a very familiar feeling within her lips.

She slowly rolled her eyes down and there she lately realized what just happened to her that made her shakened in immense surprise and shock.

Mina kissed her in the lips.

It lasted for less than 10 seconds before Sana tried to seperate theirselves from each other's kiss by forcefully pushing away Mina.

It awakened and threw the sense back in full operation for Mina and as she recovered her awarness of the situation, what she saw made it look like she's literally just looking exactly at a reflection of herself in the mirror...

... as she also shared the same reaction Sana is wearing in front of her. Complete bewilderment and confusion.

"I-I have to go back to my room. Bye.", Sana moved alertly, hurriedly walking out of the room.

"W-wait, Sana... SANA!", Mina tried to bargain her from staying but it didn't worked, it left her alone with the girls who got awakened from the loud noise she made.

They asked what happened and it made them shocked and curious when Mina leaned her body to Nayeon and showed teardrops flowing down in her cheeks, signifying that she cried at something horrible.

They learned about the kiss incident, and they were left speechless at first before comforting Mina along with Nayeon to ease her sadness and anger at herself for doing that.

THE NEXT DAY

Listening to the girls' advice and some bits of convincing for her to follow while Mina had their backs for comfort, she did what they told her the right thing to do in spite of what occurred last night during their party.

Before the classes starts, Mina who just arrived at the freshmen building searched for Sana around. It didn't took her long enough as for the assist of her knowledge about the information of specific places Sana does most likely goes to around the school although it doesn't sound like she's bragging it that turns her into an obsessed stalker but well it's simply just a perks of getting to know that much about her friend and your crush simulteanously. Going around each areas of the building, she finally catched Sana as she saw her just exit their badminton team's locker room. Mina stood and paused for a second, letting Sana perform some couple of steps while she readied herself one more time before creating her courage to be all prepared for what she's going to do today. A slightly fast run and it's good enough to minimize their gaps together for Mina to let Sana hear her voice loud and clear. "Sana!" She watched Sana halt in her steps. She slowly turned around and faced Mina with her blank yet little uncomfy look in face, probably not expecting the sudden appearance of her friend's presence. "O-oh, Mina?", Sana reacted, her eyes then turned anxiously moving around to try avoid staring longer at Mina. "What's for the c-chase to call me?" "I-.... I want us to talk, if you'll me spare you a quick time to let me. This will be quick, I promise.", Mina grasped her both hands behind her back as she sounded it out with desperation. "F-for?" "You know why I had to meet you here right now, unnie. There's no need to repeat.", Mina weakly smiled. Sana pitifully glanced back at her, unable to dodge the grab to caught her in the act. "I-I'll start now and not beat on the bush.", Mina sighed once before proceeding. "I'm sorry about what happened last night. Believe me or not, I'll just gonna place down my own explaination here for you. I-I really don't know what's gotten into me. It's like... my body took control of me and succumbs to the alluring sight of your lips when I caught it in a shot." "However, what my body decided to do on it's own... it picked from one of the things that my heart's been trying all my best to ignore and disregard. The curiosity of what does it feels like to win an opportunity to what it feels like sharing a sweet in contact of sensation made solely by my love with you." Sana's eyes parted slightly when she heard the words "my love" as what Mina mentioned. "Typically what most of the hidden admirers can relate, like me.", Mina tightlipped and unlocked it with a small pop. "It's the kiss, Sana.... and you, you're the person who got me attached on you for me to imagine crazy things like that." Mina shortly stepped forward closer to Mina who only leaned her body backward but keeping in her position still, unready to welcome the nearer approach by her friend which she just learned right now as one of the people included on her long list of people declaring their attraction due to her charms. "I have a crush on you, Sana... but still so far I'm troubled to accept that fact because it just felt so surreal, you know? Falling in love with the same gender as me and someone who I cherish also as my beloved friend right now is very new to me, Sana. I think it's simply amazing that you're the only one capable of making me feel this way uniquely." "It's as if I'm still stuck on this stage where should I fully embrace the realization that I'm having a crush on you or not yet because I'm not convinced at how fast this is for me to develop something like this. Love is extraordinary I know, but I'm trying to get used to it especially that... this is actually my first time experiencing any of this and I don't know much about it, including that moment where it leads you and me standing face to face right here and right now." "I hope you atleast take my side well and I thank you for letting me to finally pour this all out to share what I've been keeping these days in me when it comes only to you.", Mina finished her speech and carefully bowed her head in a blend of anticipation and sheepishness on what would be Sana's response to anything she just said. Sana traced Mina's condition then drew her gaze all around the surroundings enveloping them as she gathers up every words she has the say in return to make it fair for her friend who just confessed her feelings yet unsure so far which she finds it adorable to witness her being so awkward all because of Mina's feelings for her. It urged her to let out atleast a tiny smile to express how convinced she actually was on Mina's declaration before she accepted the turn to speak. "You don't get to be the only one apologizing here, Mina-ssi. I owe you one too, and that is for how I just walked out and left you befuddled at what happened between us on that night which I'm sure it looked offensive on another angle but lemme assure you this Mina... It's all too fine now. I get it all what you're trying to point out and my thoughts about any of that is simple: you're confused, Mina." Mina listened at her more intently. "You don't know what to believe in and what you'll should do on this crush problem you're having for me, and I guess it pressures you so much that your decisions you take either conscious or not results in definite consequences; which is where I can connect that kiss you did to me. Mina you were curious to find out how it is because the confusion running into you regarding about what you feel for me pushes you through it." "That kiss made you think that would be the solution... but it didn't, so that only means your confusion got you thinking terrifyingly that you broke our friendship and it sent a wrong answer about it. Now it sets you up for another that will finally satisfy you on what's the truth. Sana landed her delicate touch from her hand on the frowning Mina's shoulder while presenting a carefree grin on her. "Thank you also for having us talk about it. This is definitely what we need and with that, we're all good now, Mina. Don't overthink about it now please, that won't ruin our closeness or most importantly, our friendship together because... I can't just allow it to happen because I can't lose you. I can't lose one precious friend in my life, Mina." In a quick span of seconds, Sana magnets Mina into her for their bodies to collide in a rest assuring warm embrace. Mina whimpered in delight and relief that atleast for now, it made her sure that Sana will be still on her side despite of the accident.

They freed theirselves afterwards and Sana sent her temporary goodbye on Mina as they have to enter their classrooms now when the bell coincidentally rang just after their conversation together

FEW HOURS LATER At breaktime, Mina quickly emptied her sandwich inside the classroom then decided to visit the library to read another Harry Potter book when just as she entered the space; she saw something that won her attention to stay for a while.

Sana was placing her head down on the table where an opened book of a romantic storybook is in front of her which is being held by one of her friends and seatmate named Seungyeon. She is reading the book well while stroking the length of Sana's orange hair through her fingers. She just silently walked and grabbed the Harry Potter book to inform the librarian that she'll borrow it for a week, walking to the front where apparently Sana can fully take a sight of her. Mina looked one more time on Sana with Seungyeon before she walked out of the library, muttering these words to herself as she makes her way back to the classroom. "She's right, maybe I'm just confused." "There's nothing there that's why it didn't worked, so believe her." "It will never be worth it so stop it, little miss perfect. Don't risk yourself from falling off your throne anymore." On the other hand, little did Mina know that while Sana is listening on Seungyeon's storytelling; her mind is still being distracted by both replays of the incident and the aftermath they had earlier. She was interrupted when she saw Mina appear in the library, and she caught that one final glimpse of her being with Seungyeon before she left; worriedly concerned that Mina might stinged at the sight of her being sweet with someone else she doesn't know when in fact it's totally just platonic.

Before she focused back at her friend, Sana concludes her jumbled thoughts and brought her heart to quiver in confusion and regret on why she left Mina alone after that night when she just agreed and realized to herself that the kiss with Mina... actually felt good too.

#twicemina #twicesana #twiceminaau #twiceminaoneshot #twicesanaau #twicesanaoneshot #twiceoneshot #twiceau #minaxsana #twiceships #kpoponeshot #kpopau

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wmufranniefabray · 1 year ago

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laying it all out there → fabrevans

TITLE: Laying It All Out There CHARACTERS: Frannie Fabray (@wmufranniefabray) and Sam Evans (@samevans-wmu) DATE: 26th February. SUMMARY: After the gossip tabloids run wild, Sam and Frannie have an open conversation about where they stand.

Sam:

Sam stared at the text screen between himself and Frannie before switching over to Mercedes. No wonder the gossip blog called them a love triangle because that’s exactly what this looks like except Sam’s only into Frannie. Yeah, he’s got things going with a few others but they’re all super casual. It wasn’t until Frannie Fabray entered the scene when Sam felt his pulse quicken and stomach twist in that all familiar way when he’s into someone. Like really into them. Sam looked at the school map, feeling he’s on a quest in a game, and found the lab Frannie mentioned. Sam slowly walked down the hallway and when he reached his destination his head poked into the doorway to see if it’s the right one. “Frannie?” He asked, careful to not be too loud in case someone’s pouring a super volatile solution that might trigger a huge chemical meltdown. “You in here?”

Frannie:

The day had been one of her favourites - the kind of day where Frannie was filled with classes and her brain could properly get stuck into the work she was focussing on, in this case, it was looking at DNA segments. It was where her passion for biology could fully come through and she could fully immerse herself in a subject that she was good at. All day her phone had been buzzing in her pocket, on and off, attempting to distract her from the wonders within the labs, but her mind was made up. The gossip was ridiculous, but may have a glimmer of truth, and her plan was to try and ignore it. That was, until, she had fully started to realise how seriously everyone was taking it. It was easy to camp out with her lab coat on and forget the rest of the world existed. It was a little harder when her phone buzzing was growing more and more persistent. There were only a rare few amount of people that she truly wanted to speak with, though, and Sam was top of the list. Their conversation had been raw, filled with a vulnerability that Frannie had rarely ever let show. As she heard her name being spoken, Frannie raised her head from where she was sitting - cross legged on the floor, leaned over a selection of test tubes - and gave a wave and small smile. “Hi.” She greeted, trying to ignore the flurry of anxious nerves swimming around her stomach. This was Sam, she was safe. Her mind tried to remind herself that it would be fine, but she couldn’t help the uneasy feeling sweeping through her.

Sam:

When he saw a hand go up Sam smiled to himself. It could be anyone’s hand but he recognized the jewelry and voice. As he made his way over Kurt’s words played over and over in his head pull so much better. pull so much better. Is that how his exes viewed him? Was he just one of those guys they string along until a better option comes around? Hell, one of his exes got married last year to another guy in their class. Sam made his way over to Frannie and slid down on the floor. “Hey…” he said and didn’t sound his usual cheerful self. “I want to start and say I am so glad we chose to be honest with each other. I never want to keep things from you. And another thing-“ he paused and leant over to press a sweet kiss to her lips. “You’re amazing. Even after sharing all that stuff about your family and how it might change the way I see you I just want you to know no matter what I feel like I’m getting to know the real Frannie and she’s one of the most amazing women I’ve met.”

Frannie:

Frannie's eyes rose to watch as Sam made his way across, noticing in an instant the change in his demeanour and how his voice just sounded… different. She chewed along her lower lip, guilt washing over all of a sudden, because she hadn’t thought this would cause this kind of reaction. And her not thinking had led to this. As Sam slid down on the floor beside her, Frannie - almost by habit - reached out and took one of his hands into her own, gently squeezing it and running her thumb over his palm. Anything to try and make this situation better. “How are you feeling?” She asked, looking across at Sam with her eyes wide, running over what Sam had revealed to her in their messages in her mind.

“I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out once Sam had pulled away from the kiss between the two of them, looking across to try and meet his eyes. She wanted to say more - perhaps expand on why she was sorry - but in that moment, trying to bring back Sam’s smile was on her mind. The only thing on her mind. “I can’t comment on why things in the past haven’t worked out for you except perhaps criticising their clear lack of taste. All I can comment is on the present. Right now. You’re incredible. And I really don’t want to end this-“ she gestured between the two of them. “this between us anytime soon.” Or ever hung in the air of her mind, lingering as an unspoken melody.

Sam:

“I’m feeling okay. Kind of relieved I put everything out there for you. It’s not that I was keeping stuff from you. Not like that. But more because I like what we’ve got. Our dorm room feels much brighter and not because of the fairy lights. I laugh more in there and I’m not as glued to TV or games. Which you can totally tell me to do if you need Frannie time.”

Sam didn’t know if he should let his insecurity about that Kurt said spill or leave it be. Everyone’s got different tastes. He recognized that. It just the way it was said made Sam feel… defective. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything that’s warranted an apology.”Sam moved closer and carefully slid the test tube thing over to take both her hands. “I don’t want it to end anytime soon. But I also don’t want to make you feel like you’ve got to make a choice between me, Cody, or anyone else. Last thing I want is for you to regret jumping into a relationship.” pull so much better played in head again and Sam shook it. “I meant every word I said in my texts to you. Even when you were drunk. And I keep looking at you in this lab coat and it’s making me want to kiss you. So much for going to a different spot to keep from doing that.” He chuckled, a small smile graced his full lips.

Frannie:

His words were sweet and she couldn’t help the beam that was beginning to form across her lips, the relief washing over her the more Sam was speaking. It was almost as if Sam had a dictionary to her mind and was choosing the perfect selection of words that put her mind at ease. “I’m glad you said something, too.” She admitted, brushing little patterns on his hand with her thumb softly. “You can always talk to me. About anything.” And she meant it. Her words were firm.

Saying sorry was not something Frannie had ever been taught to say in a hurry - it had always signalled a weakness. “I should have spoken to you about the weekend, before.” She explained, shrugging, running her tongue along her lower lip. “The last thing I’d ever want to do is make you feel insecure. That’s the opposite of how I’d want you to feel.” Her eyes watched as Sam moved her biology equipment to the side, trying to resist the urge to explain how awesome her current research findings were. This was not the time. The mention of her situation with Cody made Frannie breathe in gently, looking away for a brief moment. “Would you like me to make a choice?” She asked quietly, looking back at Sam properly. It was a bold question, especially considering how vulnerable she felt she had already been today, but it was a question that Frannie needed to know the answer to. She wanted to prompt further, dig further, find out what was causing Sam to look like that. “No kisses.” Frannie chuckled alongside Sam, reaching out to ‘boop’ Sam on the nose with her finger teasingly. “Tell me what’s going on with you, first. You’re not you.

Sam:

“I know. I actually like we have that kind of relationship. Even before we kissed I felt you’re the kind of person who will make time if someone really needs to talk.” He liked the way her fingers felt on his hand, Sam’s green gaze on the way they traced random patterns on them. This is why he wanted their conversation in person because he needs to know if she’s still comfortable with him after dropping all the information on her.

With a head shake he said, “You had your reasons to keep it from me. Maybe deep down you knew it would bring out this talk we’re having. Or maybe you thought I would view you differently after. Which I don’t. I was gonna wait and see how things were when you got back but our texts carried on like usual and that told me you and Cody might be more about the fun than something serious. At least that’s how I interpreted it because you and I were texting about our feelings and attraction.”

His hand smoothed over hers, stopping her from running random patterns. Sam brought her hand up to his lips to kiss. “I feel like if I say yes it’ll put you in the spot. Do I want to say pick me? Heck yeah. I really, really like what we’ve got going and I want to explore that and everything new with you. But-“ he hated she’s able to pick up his mood shift and knows it’s what’s currently fucking with his mind. Even with the playful nose boop. “It’s stupid.” He breathed. “Read a comment about me online. How someone could do better than me. It’s not I was into the guy or dating him. But it’s a kick to confidence’s balls. Especially after what I told you when it came to my exes. It’s like, maybe I’m great at first when things are new but then I become unbearable at some point. So for you to ask me to choose makes me scared, Fran. I sound weak saying this but it does. What if that guy and all my past exes are right about me. That they can do better. If your family is anything like you painted they’ll probably tell you that. I’m not some polished guy.”

Frannie:

Several thoughts were flooding around Frannie’s brain, most of them all at once - so much so that she removed her gaze again, trying to gain some clarity back in this situation.

A small pause fell between them as she wrestled with her thoughts again. Ever since she had met Sam, honesty had been clear between the two of them. She couldn’t stop that honesty now. “If you’d like me to choose, I’d choose you.” The words were short, and at once, she could feel herself releasing a breath that she hasn’t realised she had been holding in. “Not that Cody isn’t… amazing. He is. But the way you’re glued to my mind, whether we’re together or not? Or the way I find myself increasingly excited to return back to our dorm ever day to see you? You’ve brightened my life so much. There’s no competition at all.”

A small frown crinkled across the side of her forehead as her eyes remained firmly on Sam while she listened to him speak, unflinching. She hadn’t noticed any comments online. “It’s not stupid if it’s affecting you”, Frannie tried to remind him gently, but the mention of her family threw her off-guard. What could she even say to that? She knew Sam was wrong, that the comment was absolutely ridiculous, and yet she could feel herself freezing up at the mention of her family. This was her weakness, something that threw her off guard, as much as she wanted to fight it. Moving her hand from the softness of his lips, she cupped his cheek and felt his skin beneath her fingers. “I’d like to see them try to find someone better than you.” Frannie mused, pursing her lips together in irritation - not at Sam, but at the comment that had been made. Pressing a kiss on his lips, Frannie continued whispering in between each kiss. “You,” Another kiss. “Are.” Kiss. “Incredible.” Kiss. “You’re incredible now. Tomorrow. A year from now. Ten years from now.”Pulling away, Frannie tilted her head upwards to gaze up at Sam. “I wish you could see yourself from my point of view.”

Frannie:

To show Frannie is inner most insecurity, when Sam did everything in his power to mask it, meant he trusted Frannie with these ugly thoughts. Because that’s what they are: ugly. It’s not like he’s looking for validation or pity. He’s not. And if anyone will call him out on his shit would be the very woman across from him, looking like a beautiful vision in her lab coat. “I would choose you, too. There’s no contest. You’re the one who came in and made me want to try again. To say fuck it to all my past exes. But like you saw, that stupid self doubt voice in my head can be a real dick.”

His eyes carefully watched her. There was worry he said too much. That he was too harsh. Or that she’ll see he has too much shit he needs to work through and tell him she needs to get back to her work. But what followed next surprised him. Instead of all the things that would cause him to get kicked out of this lab Frannie managed to assure him everything will be fine between them. Those soft kisses slowly lured a smile onto his lips and the tension in his shoulders subsided. The nasty thoughts from before ebbed away and Sam’s hand reached for her while they kissed. “I think, in time. I will” he whispered. God, was this happening? What started as an off-the-wall gossip post brought them to this very room. On the floor of all places. “I’m sorry what I said before. I was spiraling and-“ he took a deep breath and looked down. “and I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know your family. I like Quinn a lot from the couple times I’ve talked to her.” Sam’s conscious nagged at him about that remark. “If you’ll have me as your main dude it’ll make me ridiculously happy.” He said, finally able to smile that large Sam Evans grin.

Frannie:

“You don’t need to be sorry. Ever.” Frannie told Sam, watching as his eyes trailed to the floor. It felt new, being this honest. She couldn’t ignore the nervous butterflies still lingering in her stomach, almost afraid that she had said too much, revealed too much. And yet there was a simultaneous feeling of anticipation trembling inside of her; giddy, hopeful anticipation. “It’s okay. I don’t think I’ve given you the best impression of my family so far.” Frannie paused before giving a small, reassuring smile. “My momma knows about you already. She’s the one that made the Star Wars baked treats for you and she asked a few questions this weekend about my new, cutie roommate.” It felt strange calling Sam a ‘new’ rommmate, but Frannie had to keep reminding herself that despite the strength in how she was beginning to feel for Sam, this was still very much new. Exciting. But, still new.

Her smile matched Sam’s when she finally saw his grin return. It was a relief to see Sam relatively back to normal again, and she couldn’t help matching his smile. “Main dude, huh?” She repeated, quirking an eyebrow in intrigue. “As much as that sounds perfect, Sammy, and believe me it does. I want to take my time with you. We have time. All the time.” Running a finger along the side of his cheek again, Frannie gave another small smile, it feeling permanently etched on her cheeks. “What do you think about, just focusing on each other? No distractions. No more squares, or any other shapes, for now. Just us?” It was a step. And for Frannie, it felt like quite a big one. “The last thing I’d want is for you to feel rushed. I want you to be totally sure. And ridiculously happy too. Ridiculously happy Sam is the best.”

Sam:

His fingers subconsciously played with one of Frannies bracelets as he spoke, his attention on her lips and the way they moved and how even while speaking he couldn’t stop his thoughts. God, he wants to kiss her again but they’re still in that figure things out stage of things. “Y-you did? I mean, I remember you said she made them but she didn’t think it was for some kid or charity?” He started to laugh at this, feeling better. Much better. “Does your mom think it’s cool for us to share a room? My parents are laid back but they told me to be respectful and not crowd you.” He shared with her while his index finger moved back and forth underneath the band as his other hand held hers.

With a laugh he nodded, “Yeah. I think I got ahead of myself. When you said you choose me and then saying I’m incredible and all those kisses. I lost my head there for a minute. I’ll let you know right now if you ever want something all you gotta do is kiss me like you did before and I’ll probably agree to anything. It’s like kryptonite but better.” He grinned. How can he not when they’re back to how things should be between them. “So we’re dating but not exclusive? Kind of like a trial run to see how we’ll be like as a couple if we decide to take that plunge?” Sam wants to make sure he understands. “No more flirting with other people. Just with each other?” Plus more but that’ll come later. He hopes.

Sam glanced back down at their joined hands and noticed the test tubes. “I interrupted your work. I was so caught up with stuff in my head and our texts I didn’t think to ask it’s a good time to interrupt.” There’s a touch of guilt in his tone but, “What are you working on. Not sure I’ll understand but I want to see you in action here. I like when you talk science to me. It’s hot.” He dished a smirk and then leaned over, placing a hand against the side of Frannie’s neck to press a kiss, this one lingered longer than the ones from before. He enjoyed the softness of her lips and the soft brush of her nose against his. Sam didn’t realize how much he needed that quiet moment between them until the kiss broke.

Frannie:

For the most part, Frannie’s attention had remained relatively focussed, without many distractions. That was until she spotted Sam’s gaze, lowering onto her lips, and she could feel her concentration slipping. She couldn’t help the immediate rush of sinful thoughts that flooded her mind. Mainly about Sam pushing her body up against a wall.

Flushed, Frannie shifted in her seat to try and hide how immediately distracted she was. A crimson blush starting to form on her cheeks may have been a giveaway. “No, of course not. She knew they were for you.” Frannie smiled, before adding. “She likes you. Especially from how much I’ve shared about you. I’m not sure how much of a fan of our living situation she’ll continue to be once she realises it’s anything but pure.”

Her mind considered Sam’s words, thinking carefully before she answered. “Exclusive means not entertaining anybody else, right?” She questioned. “Because, if you’d like to be, we can do that. I don’t really plan on wanting to be with anybody else while we get to know each other.”

A small smile returned to her lips at the mention of her work and she grinned. “I invited you here!” She chuckled, picking up one of the test tubes and raising it so it was a little closer so Sam could see. Inside was some coloured liquid alongside some small cells, paraded at the bottom. “This is what I’m currently looking at. We’re currently looking at how to make copies of specific strands and copies of DNA. It’s so much fun.” The words were gushing from her lips in an excited flurry, her enthusiasm clearly evident. It was only when Sam surprised her with a kiss - this kiss, lingering instead of the shorter kisses from before - did she pause, her eyelashes immediately fluttering closed as returned the kiss. Pressing her hand against the side of his cheek, she could feel the warmth of skin beneath her fingers and she hoped, more than anything, Sam could hear how hard her heart was beating. For him.

Sam:

Did Sam notice the way Frannie shifted and blushed just then? You bet he did. After all, they’re still kissably close. It felt good after all this talk, his opening up about his exes and how an online comment got to him. It’s very well due to bad timing on that. The guy was upset and Sam was already going something in the moment. He just hopes whatever he and Frannie are about to dive into doesn’t result with those three words returning to his head in horrific clarity like the mom’s voice in Carrie before shit got real.

“Pu-“ Sam started to ask and pivoted his question to, “Are you very up front with your mom? I tell my parents things but I keep certain stuff from them. But I guess once our families learn we’re dating they’ll push us to get separate dorms.” Sam licked his lips and brought his attention down to Frannies hands again. Most of her rings are missing, probably because of the lab. He doesn’t know why he’s focusing on how beautiful and delicate her hands are and how they make him feel all sorts of flustered when she touches oh. Samuel! Focus! “Right.” He snapped out of it. “I’m fine with us to continue living together while we date. Get to know each other in a deeper level. It’ll only be you from now on. All the flirting and everything stops. But, and I’m cool with this, you feel better we have some space and stay in different dorms…” he trailed and chuckled. “Okay, maybe I’m not so on board with that. I like what we’ve got. A lot.”

Sam laughed at her reminder and comically shrugged at this. “I know but you didn’t know the exact time I was rolling in here to talk.” He pointed out. Sam watched as Frankie’s eyes lit up, just like when she talks to him about her favorite authors of showing him a piece of jewelry she just bought. His gaze fell onto the tube and took in the contents and how cool it is! “Isn’t that the cells people use to help regenerate skin? I see this and hear DNA and my mind goes to replicating tissue.” He laughed to himself.

It’s a combination of their honest talk, her lab coat, Frannie’s excitement about her DNA project, and the fact Sam’s feel all sorts of head-over-heels for this woman which brought him to kiss her mid explanation. He didn’t mean it to go as long as it did but her hand on his neck encouraged him to keep with this. There’s the softest noise from Frannie and Sam playfully teased her tongue with his before remembering where they’re at. His lips inched from hers but his fingers pushed a loose strand of hair that slipped from her pony tail. “I-I couldn’t help myself. You got talking about science and looked so cute and excited. And everything from before with what we talked about and-“ he chuckled but there’s such a bright smile on his face, the complete opposite from the Sam who entered this lab 10 minutes ago. “If there’s ever anything sciencey you want to share with me. Just shoot a text and I’ll jog down here. I might not get most of it when you explain it but it means something to you and I want to be a part of that excitement.” His hand rested on her knee as he spoke. Little touches, hand holding, kisses, they’ve worked their way into their lives it all feels natural to him. But now they’ll solely be shared with each other and that made Sam’s heart do a happy backflip. Figuratively. If it actually did that he’d die. “I should get going though. I have class in an hour and gotta grab a bite before it.” He sighed as he moved to his feet. “If we’re not too swamped with studying do you wanna continue that book we started yesterday?”

#{ para ;; all }#{ para ;; sam }#{ all ;; sam }

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