#character: candy baker
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cxffncase · 2 years ago
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The monster hunter squad! <3
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skenpiel · 1 year ago
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homestuck fans when theres no rhyme or reason to the trickster designs and its literally just a jumbled mess of hideous colors and vague candy themes which means theres no consistency to analyze to help with making fan designs
#now imagine if you will a very distraught face. because i cant be bothered adding an image#ANYWAYSSSSSSS i wanted 2 try making one but god its just so hard bc theres so many fucking colors and i suck at coloring anyway#i tried analyzing them to the best of my abilities to see if there was any consistency i could go off of......... but no theres Nothing#the only thing is that their cheek swirls are the same color as their pestechum colors. and thats it#even the outfits are different it seems to be slightly altered versions of their original outfits?#like roxy was wearing her purple knit dress when she got bonked but it was still her original outfit afterwards#their hair colors dont make sense their shoe colors dont make sense their head ornaments make a LITTLE sense..........#jakes and dirks are the most obvious. pumpkin and orange soda its like their thing i guess#janes being a muffin makes sense cuz crockercorp baker etc etc#roxys makes the least sense...... i dont think there was ever any mention of cotton candy for her aside from when caliborn wanted his weird#smut to be color coordinated for whatever reason#whenever i make otufits its usually just varying shades of the same 3 or so colors so trickster designs are a nightmare#even my old trickster mode trollsona was like. 3 colors total LOL#not to mention i wanted to make this design for my trollsona. and we only ever saw humans in trickster mode#and looking at older fanart didnt help cuz everyone had decided unanimously that the canon designs sucked ass (they did)#and in the future we should all give each character a food or somthing similar to base the whole design off of (good decision)#blehh. i give up its too much of a pain-_-#anyway. maybe i really am sick i think i need to lay down#already slept literally all day but im still so tired..........#i took painkillers and allergy meds in case of cat hair on bed but i still feel groggy as fuck#well whatever. itll probably go away soon i never really stay sick for long
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yyokkki · 4 months ago
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Riddle Rosehearts
A former city boy who ran away from home after refusing to become a doctor like his mother was.
Actually works as a lawyer at a small firm in the nearest town. He commutes by car and it's only a 30 minute drive with minimal traffic (thank god cuz his road rage is abysmal) but he works remotely on most days.
Is often found at the town saloon (the community centre after you fix it!) holding tea parties with Trey, Cater, Ace and Deuce or at the local library.
Loved Gifts: Strawberry Tart, Fairy Rose, Ruby, Universal Loves
"...Oh! Ahem, thank you farmer. Expect a return gift in the mail soon."
Hated Gifts: Eel, Clay, Royal Sword Cola, Universal Hates
"Ugh! This is unacceptable!"
Trey Clover
The local baker! His family runs a bakery in the city and he moved to NRV on his own to open another branch of Clover's Confectionaries.
He says the fertile soil and rich foragables make it the perfect place to gather ingredients on his own.
Rumour has it he runs a backdoor business for specialty toothpastes.
Is often found at the town saloon serving his pastries for Riddle's parties or at his bakery tending to his mini garden at the back.
Loved Gifts: Limestone, Pearl, Candied Violets, Universal Loves
"Thanks farmer! How did you know I needed this? ...I don't owe you anything, right?"
For Limestone and Pearl: "This is perfect! Now, to extract the calcium carbonate..." (Yes, for toothpaste)
Hated Gifts: Broken Glasses, Mustard, Universal Hates
"Oh... Uh... Thanks?"
Cater Diamond
A social media influencer and former travel blogger.
Used to travel a lot but decided to settle at NRV. He claims it's because the scenery and people are 'cute'.
Occasionally will go to the city with Kalim and Lilia to perform and hold concerts.
Is in a band with Kalim and Lilia, plays the guitar.
Is often found at the town saloon with Riddle, Trey, Ace and Deuce or in the town square chatting up the other residents.
Loved Gifts: Spicy Ramen, Diamond, Universal Loves
"Aww, you shouldn't have! #lucky #cutefarmer"
Hated Gifts: Anything Sweet, Clay, Universal Hates
"Aww, thanks but no thanks. #lame"
Ace Trappola
The local carpenter! Stays at Night Raven Valley with his older brother who he learned all his tricks from (bad and good).
Loves causing trouble and playing harmless pranks on the other residents (Deuce is his biggest victim), good at magic tricks too.
Plays basketball on sunny Saturdays with Jamil and Floyd.
The first character you meet, who was assigned with fixing up Ramshackle Farm. Shit talks your farm right to your face and holds no remorse.
Is often found at the town saloon at Riddle's tea parties or at the back on the arcade machines.
Loved Gifts: Cherry Pie, Cherry, Royal Sword Cola, Universal Loves
"Dwoes the wittle farmer have a crush on me~ Ack, I'm kidding!"
Hated Gifts: Clay, Oyster, Universal Hates
"Gross! Do you hate me or something??"
Deuce Spade
The local mechanic/handyman! He's self taught and lives with his mom, Dylla Spade who handles the deliveries in town.
Used to be a delinquent but has since turned a new leaf.
His passion project is modding the hell out of his motorcycle and hitting the roads.
Goes on runs with Jack every sunny Wednesday.
Volunteers at the Adventurer's Guild and takes requests from the board for security as his goal is to become a full time officer in the future.
Is often found at the town saloon at Riddle's tea parties or at the back getting obliterated by Ace in Junimo Cart.
Loved Gifts: All Eggs (Except Void Egg), Omelette, Battery Pack, Universal Loves
"Farmer! I knew you were a real one!"
For Battery Pack: "Thanks dude! I needed this for the finishing touches..."
Hated Gifts: Void Egg, Juice (He drinks it, it just reminds him of Ace), Bell Pepper, Universal Hates
"Hah? Oh, I thought you were pickin' a fight..."
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TWST x SDV Masterlist
Tag List (Interact with the linked post to be tagged in future updates mwah)
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thequeenofthedisneyverse · 19 days ago
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can we have villain kenji dating headcanons please😞🙏
Oh boy...well, I can try
Villain! Kenji x Fem reader
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Mentions of blood, fighting (not with you), and death/character death (not you), you being morally grey...and Kenji being a simp.
He's a complete sweetheart to you and WORSHIPS the ground you walk on. Ever heard of a feminist nut-case? It's him. He respects you wholeheartedly and sees you for you because his mama raised him right.
Super gentle and a soft-talker with you. You're...actually the ONLY person he's like this around. To everyone else, arrogant prick x10 on a regular basis.
He likes to cuddle you after a long day and whisper sweet-nothings into your ear. "I missed you so much" "I love you so much, baby" "stay with me, please" cue the cutest goo goo eyes you've ever seen. How could you say no to him?
This man doesn't know when to stop gifting so whenever he even THINKS about something you would like you better prepare for there to be a box of whatever product it is on your doorstep.
Gamer girl? New gaming equipment in your favorite color. Book girl? New books on your doorstep. Baker, artist, crafter? All of it on your doorstep.
You ask for something? Consider it done. You LOOK at something in the mall? It's yours.
If he thinks a certain outfit would look good on you or he finds a certain candy, you like? All yours...just please don't leave him.
Ken lets you ride on his motorcycle from time to time. He prefers you in the back with your arms wrapped around him because it's a comforting feeling, not to mention safe. But if you want, he'll let you sit in the front but it's rare.
A guy cat-called you once while Kenji was there with you. Yeah uh...that guy was sent to the hospital. It was the first time you've ever seen him so...angry. You've heard rumors of Kenji's temper but seeing as he was so sweet to you, you just thought the rumors were just...rumors.
That was until you literally had to pull him off the guy so he wouldn't kill him. Seriously, he was strangling him after punching him in the face 10 times.
It was...kind of hot to be fair.
Kenji's hair was disheveled, his nose bleeding, and a fiery look in his eyes. And you found his act of rage a little sweet. If he was willing to strangle a guy for just catcalling you, what would he do if a guy touched you?
You then realized you found a good guy who's willing to stand up for you! Albeit a bit crazy, but still a good guy.
After his anger went away, the soft side of him came back and apologized to you profusely.
"I- I'm so sorry baby, p- please don't leave! Y- You were never supposed to see that side of me, shit! I'm a good guy I promise I am! He...he just, he deserved it! He shouldn't have been talking to you like that! You're a princess to me baby, a queen! And you deserve to be treated like one...please don't leave me..."
He meant every word of it girl...every. last. word. Especially the "don't leave me" parts.
Before you came along, Kenji was alone. So utterly alone. His beloved mother was dead. His father....ugh (don't even get him started on that). No friends or relatives to talk to or come by. One-night stands didn't do anything except a couple seconds of bliss.
So, like I said, so completely and utterly alone.
But when you came along...you changed that. An angel from the heavens that chose him to spend their time with.
This man would let the world burn if it meant to save your life. He doesn't like people very much anyway.
He introduced you to Lillith, his black IBM female boa. Let's pretend you like snakes.
Snake ahead, TRIGGER WARNING
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You find her absolutely adorable and sweet. She likes you a lot too! You let her hang around your neck or arm when Kenji brings her too your dates or when you hang out at his house.
Kenji loves that his two favorite girls are getting along. He has many pictures of you two chilling in his phone and looks at them from time to time to actually feel something other than anger or nothing while he's out.
You brought back a light in him that he thought had died a long time ago. A reason to live...well, apart from baseball, killing Kaiju's, and ruining his father's legacy of course.
Fancy dining places are a must. You can't blame the man for want to wine and dine you...and showing you off to the press a little bit.
Hmmm...you found it odd that the guy that cat-called you hasn't pressed charges or uttered a peep about what ken did to him. You understood why the news hadn't caught footage of the incident tho.
It happened late at night when you and Kenji were coming out of a bar. It had been raining that night and most of the lights went out due to the water getting to the electricity.
So, it would be hard for the cameras to pick up faces very well due to the darkness and most of them circuiting out too.
But it was so strange...nothing from him.
You got your answer when you turned the news on though.
The guy that cat-called you was found dead in a trash bin next to the EXACT same bar you had your date with Kenji. Ishima Agama was his name.
He seemed to have suffered horrible lacerations, burns, severed limbs, and much other nasty things.
His death...didn't bother you though. You figured Kenji must've done it. I mean...who else would've done it? It only happened two weeks after Kenji pummeled him, and it was in the exact same place it beat his ass.
You always trusted your gut and your gut says it's Kenji. But instead of seeing this as a red flag, you saw it as a green one!
He killed for you just because of a cat-calling degenerate. That's the nicest thing a guy has ever done for you!
After dating for about a year or so, he told you that he was Ultraman! Which...is the coolest freaking thing ever!
He saved Japan from Kaiju's countless of times! So, what if his methods were a little violent? The Kaiju's were too. That's how violent animals were supposed to be treated right? Either with sedatives or brute force.
He was so confused as to why you were so cool with it but as you explained your reasons...he knew you were a keeper.
After that little adventure he introduced you to the idea of Kaiju meat. Something Kenji has tailored to him and a few other rich people (let's pretend Kaiju's don't have radiation). Turns out the KDF also sells a few cutlets of meat to a few rich folks who want a taste of a rare "delicacy" meat.
It's actually quite good when it's cooked and served right, better that wagyu.
Sooo, yeah, you two lovebirds get along great!
His anger issues, arrogance, or murderous tendencies to affect you because you love him for who he is...and for the fact that he never acts that way toward you.
That's all I've got, if you guys want anything more specific, lmk!
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halloweenacara · 22 days ago
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all my beasts! my main account is totally full now rip. names & info under the cut
aske - halloween acara, he/they - horror artist & author, kinda the main character. he writes a horror-comedy comic, but his most famous work is a series of intense horror novels published under a pseudonym. he's secretly a huge scaredy-cat & has become very fond of a certain zafara.
flora - mutant aisha, she/her - baker & activist. she runs a little bakery in the haunted woods that only employs other mutants. she's sweet as sugar, but you don't want to be on her bad side. not afraid of anything- in fact, she has a sweet spot for the scariest resident, alder.
fossil - tyrannian elephante, he/him - anthropologist, museum curator, technically undead. he was found in a glacier on the border between tyrannia and terror mountain & revived. now, he has a special interest in tyrannian history, spending more time in the field than behind a desk. he will talk your ear off.
kilroy - steampunk zafara, he/him - a knight from the golden era of meridell- sort of. he was brought to life via a wayward spell from mac, pulling him from the pages of a book of old meridellian tales. he's a little lost, but taking it in stride- besides, he has a cute lil acara to help him out.
pup - toy poogle, they/she - midi musician, streamer, sapient robot. they speak almost exclusively in internet memes and audio clips. she has a vast collection of expression stickers, one for every mood. recently, they've been visiting veknir's workshop every night…
mu - burlap kau, he/they - fiber artist, gardener, ex-scarecrow. he used to live in a farm north of the haunted woods, then took himself off his stick and ran away. he sewed his legs himself, as he didn't have any originally, and has to fix them often. makes a lot of crochet plushies and blankets- stark contrast to the manor's otherwise spooky vibe.
alder - shadow skeith, she/her - groundskeeper. an intense individual, to say the least. she's been with the manor longer than anyone can recall. she mostly keeps to herself- she lives in a small cabin on the edge of the courtyard. she spends her time meticulously cleaning the tombstones, or lurking in the yard in the midst of heavy rain. aske is terrified of her.
rory - chocolate/halloween bori, he/it - some variety of candy-based creature. he only joined the group recently- previously he was known as the thing that howls and roars just past the fence line. he smells like candy corn and hot cocoa- apart from the bones, of course. those smell like death.
maxie - ghost cybunny, she/her - tour guide/scam artist. she offers tours of the manor, even installing a little gift shop in the foyer. most of the 'haunted features' on the tour are fake. even if the others wanted her to leave (frankly, she's a rude, self-serving conwoman), she couldn't- she died in the manor. every time someone asks how she died she gives them a different story.
veknir - speckled grundo, he/him - alien, scientist, engineer. he keeps the manor running- repairing old appliances, fixing broken railing. of course, he did blow up the microwave trying to improve it. he crash-landed in the courtyard while fleeing someone and set up a workshop/lab in the basement. who knows what he gets up to down there? do we want to know?
cake - snot chomby, it/its - slime monster. one of veknir's experiments gone awry- well, it made a new creature, but cake's a rebel. it chose its name after coming to life and immediately raiding vek's lab minifridge. it has a massive sweet tooth- flora is its best friend- and takes its sick axe guitar everywhere (it can't play it)
remy - halloween xweetok, he/they/she - the owner of the october house. the oldest resident (besides kilroy, technically?) and also the hottest (according to remy). if he's not ominously swirling a glass of something red in the study, he's at some club doing drag.
diaveli - halloween ixi, she/they/it - some variety of horrid clown thing. her entire existence is dedicated to tormenting aske and causing problems.
chimaera - lab rat, they/them - they have chronic health issues, but visiting the lab ray and changing their body calms their aches. it also leaves them ravenously hungry and pays fairly well. they also "work" at maxie's gift shop. they sometimes play on pup's streams as a guest.
mac - mutant lenny, he/him - wizard. he spends all his time hidden away in his tower, practicing spells or mixing potions. his hermit-like tendencies are partly because he needs privacy for his evil machinations and party due to crippling social anxiety.
croaksby - candy quiggle, he/him - butler, janitor, etc. a long-suffering servant, croaksby has worked for remy for a long, long time. he does actually enjoy his work- if he gets frustrated with a resident, he can always add a touch of poison to their nightly tea/coffee/borovan- not enough to kill them, of course...
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jellazticious · 10 months ago
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bing bong bootleg SS au
very long ramble under the C
stuff are subjected to change
The working title isn't solidified but I'm leaning on either Candy Castle or Pastry Castle
Tho I think I'm gonna go for pastry cuz it has the same amount of letters as castle much like pizza and tower have the same number too
The tower is a gingerbread castle. According to a friend of mine (It's Beefy, it's always Beefy go follow him) that Hispanics love their bakeries and yeah, I guess that makes sense. Not only do I have a theme based on the protag's culture but also the theme gets narrowed down to just baked sweets. Candy in general is too broad, I would die figuring out how to put every kind of sweet in it, and if I did it's gonna be really cluttered hooboy
Noise is called Theo because that's Peppino's name formula. Peppino is a nickname for Giuseppe so I thought I'd give Noise's swap a nickname to Theodore as the main name
Hazel Nutt is pretty self explanatory cuz Noisette means hazelnut in French
Their outfits are pretty simple to mirror Peppino and Gustavo's with just coloured shirts and aprons
Hazel doesn't get a mount because she would have Theo's prototype rocket skates. Just like Gus, she would have different stages of getting used to the skates per floor. First she gets blasted from end to end cuz she can't control the thrust. Second, she manages to turn it off but she's trying to keep balance on it. Third, she catches her breath now that she could stand still without moving or slipping. Next she would make a card castle, in reference to the very castle they're inside. and lastly she'd be holding a box of sweets without giving a shit about the scary floor.
To parallel the og Noisette, Hazel would smile bigger when Theo faces her direction.
Hazel is also Theo's delivery gal to match and switch with how Peppino WAS Gustavo's delivery guy
The "kick the rat" function would be Hazel swinging one of the skates and the cops grabbing Brick would instead hold a weapon detector that also functions as a magnet
Unlike Peppino, Theo is more aggressive than anxious. Imagine an injured cat defending itself from what it thinks is a threat
the name of Pizzaface's swap is Pieface for obvious reasons 😭
but HEAR ME OUT
both pizzaface and pieface are used as insults. pizza face is used for people with so much acne and pie face is used for someone with a flat face or dull expression. It isn't just a pun on what food the characters are made of. Pieface is also a reference to the trope where people headshot other people with pies. With the mech floating towards the protag, it would look like a pie is being thrown and targeted at Theo
Honestly drawing what food makes his face is so fun. Did you know that before the croissant smile it was supposed to be syrup shaped to a smile? The nose was a long whip of cream before turning into a cut strawberry for the mustache effect
Pizzahead's candy version would be called Gingerhead because of how ridiculous it sounds.
Gingerhead is based on Willy Wonka much like how Pizzahead is based on Ronald McDonald which is why he has more of a showman look than a clown look
okay side note, it just occured to me how ironic PH being based on Ronald is considering McDo's isn't a pizza place
actually Wonka doesn't even sell cakes and shit so, I guess it's fair game
Theo has the nickname Muffinman to reference the rhyme. but this time, it's the gingerbreadman chasing the baker
Next up is Mr S, who would be Peppino but he becomes rich. Mr S is the stage name he uses. He is a known celebrity much as Noise is but he is more of a boxer than a host. Like Dwayne Johnson or something. His name is partially a reference to ResEvil's Mr X, another absolute unit of a guy
also the reason why he doesn't wear a shirt. He's committing to the bit. If he needs to cover himself when he isn't playing a role, then there's his robe. He doesn't take out his mask most of the time tho
Mr S's mask is based on the Chef Raider design but also part of the scrapped superhero design much like Pizzano. Actually speaking of Pizzano, S is characterized so similarly to him cuz Pizzano is the only SS character who was actually written well to my standards. To be fair we've seen too much of Peppino to flunk characterizing him sksksk
Since this is Peppino that Mr S is based on, he's not as tech savvy or as self centered as Noise so he doesn't have robots that look like himself. Instead he has ants for a crew
the ants swap the place of rats. the rats in PT reference the new york pizza rat while ants just generally eat your food especially if it's sweet when left alone for five minutes
the ants come from Mr G, who would be Gustavo's swap with Noisette. He's Mr S's lawyer. at the end of S's bossfight, G would snatch him away with Click (the ant) because S would make a foul and embarrassing move on live camera
I can't seperate Gustavo and Brick so Click stays with Mr G instead of assisting Hazel
inside what would be Noisette cafe, instead of Mr G and Click being behind the counter, they would be sitting as customers next to Caraman. the barista isn't seen anywhere
Honestly when I'm writing everyone, my logic of swapping them isn't "make them switch places AND personalities" but more of "write every single one of them with the og personality because giving them a different lifestyle/role would drastically change their motives and how they behave"
I'm practically just swapping each character's place of birth
I mentioned this because it's kinda funny with Noisette and Gus since they play the exact same role of assisting Peppino/Noise so swapping them won't change much in how they act. They also have the same cheery and welcoming personality by default so Hazel and Mr G would act REALLY similar to their og
The only difference is that Gustavo can be threatening whenever Peppino fucks up. It fits right in with being a lawyer for the same goon
Now we got Mel Caraman who would become this au's Vigi. Lemme just say off the bat that Caraman is just as delusional as Vigi. He gets hired as a guard for floor 2 and took it way too seriously that he thinks he's some sort of sentinel. Hired as a guard but thinks he's an ancient guardian or something
his name vaguely references James Bond because you also VAGUELY get "caramel" out of "Caraman, Mel Caraman"
Caraman is a caramel apple but he's half glazed to form an eyemask. he's also got a stick poking out his head that stretches his chorro hat. the big hat makes him look cooler anyways. Bro I was so ready to settle for a shitty wild west mayor hat and I owe Beefy one for suggesting a new hat. I was gonna make him look like Doug Dimmadome with the short brimmed tall hat😭😭😭
but yeah Caraman doesn't have the same dignity as Vigi does. He can fight crime decently on normal circumstances and badass when he's full serious. But like day in day out he's so obnoxious about looking for crime that people get tired of him nor would they take him seriously
he would also be mistaken for a pepper
Next to last, Cam M. Bert or just Bert who would take place of Pepperman. he's an artist who appreciates the world instead of himself, a freelancer also. There was only a bossfight because he was coincidentally commissioned to make a mural for the castle the same time Theo busts in. He didn't like how Theo ruined some of his works with his rush to open the door
Bert is a cream cheese instead of a cheese slime. his beret is actually a little cherry to distinguish him from the other creams.
Bert is really chill and humble, He's like Bob Ross, whenever he can, he'd try to talk about how every beauty in the world should be immortalized through a canvas
In parallel to Vigi's delusion of thinking he's a human, Bert thinks he's actually a living painting (which is completely possible for someone to be in the PT world since Pepperman was able to do it with his own art)
instead of a :{ face that Vigilante has, Bert has a :3 face
the naming formula is taken directly from Vigi
Vig E. Lantte
Cam M. Bert
There is a type of sweet cheese that's really creamy called camembert which his name is a direct reference from. Here is a picture of a camembert since it's hella cute
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Camembert cheese was also suggested by Beefy, brother thank you for not allowing me to name this cunt Creamlad
Mr Lardo would be in place of Mr Stick but his motive is that he's collecting Theo's money on BEHALF of Mr Stick. They're probably the only ones who completely stay intact because there's not much canon info of Stick WITHIN the game itself I also feel he's a crossover character from his own "series" with how long McPig has him prior to PT so I just swap the character who makes the "cameo"
The toppins are still called toppins because they'd be used to decorate a cake or pie. They would be
Strawberry - Mushroom
Cream - Cheese
Cookie - Tomato
Icing (in a piping bag) - Sausage
actually I dont know yet for the pineapple but I'll get to it. I've only been figuring out this au since four days ago....
Lastly (of the characters), the Faker in this would be mechanical to match the original Noise's familiarity in robots
Fake Theo (temp name) would be engineered to be "Theo but way better" while actually being succesful with it. Faker would also sort of look like a mini figure of a ballerina. Referencing The Nutcracker
Opposite to Fake Peppino, Fake Theo is more graceful than terrifying but it's so uncanny how unnaturally pretty it is
and now some misc stuff
Title of the final level is When The Cookie Crumbles
the pepper pizza will be replaced with an extremely sweet pie and the immunity is caused by the sugar rush from it
Pizza Time is called Crunch Time
Pillar John would be a giant graham cracker since the walls are made of cookies instead of bricks. Gerome however, is a solidified bar of brownies. like a shittily made brownie that it just turned into a construction brick
Snotty is a pure white cream cheese and that's cuz he's actually made of glue. His name is Sticky
Pigs would either be bears or rabbits with how many times those two animals represented sweets
I'm gonna be clear with everyone here. I literally made this au cuz I'm going insane trying to make swap stuff with Pascal/Stefano when the au itself is so empty. sure it's colourful but it's so empty like I can't draw SS characters outside of poses
I tried like doing fanon modifications as I always do then there's so much I "modified" that at this point it's not Sugary Spire anymore. Just straight up a completely different au. The only similarity is that it's a swap au with sweets
it is what it is yknow. this is my life now. I said fuck it and went with the flow and boom, new personal au that I poured too much into
basically I blame Pascal for this
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tiredofthehumanlife · 7 months ago
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Our children yearn for violence
Barbie dolls: jegulus x reader (James, regulus, you)
Words: 3.6k ish
Summary: the school calls you in bc your son got into an altercation what happens when the other kids' parents are hot
Warnings: your son is named Elliot, also you're referred to as Ren and Rena like the gn term for your parent so just yk it's not an oc i promise, you're a highschool art teacher, pushing the trans James agenda, misgendering James from the principal, honestly you pour coffee all over the principal and I'm pretty sure that's assault so just yk, no consequences very fictional world, condoning violence, abortion mentioned, James is a baker and regulus is a stay at home dad/writer just so you know, modern au I'm SORRY, Lily has a wife but she isn't here Lily is just mentioned, actually kinda unwarranted meanness toward the principal but yk whatevs, kinda extremely fanficy if that makes sense but let's just close our eyes and laugh along okay, that's all I think man
Your son, Elliot, was quite kind. You weren't one to toot your own horn, but he was a pretty well raised 6 year old. He was more introverted so when he came home telling you all about his new friends you were very proud of him. He loved Lightning McQueen and he was absolutely giddy to tell you his new friend, Harry, had a Lightning McQueen backpack. And his other friend, Luna, loved Tinkerbell almost as much as he did. Elliot loved art too, he took after you in that field. You were a high school art teacher. Luckily for you the same bus that picked up the first graders for his school, also picked up from your high school. Elliot would ride the bus and after dropping off all the other students the bus-driver would  drop him off at the high school. Elliot would spend the last few minutes of the school day with your last class. They loved him, they thought he was adorable. They often made him little cards or gave him candy. Elliot was the best and nicest, if you do say so yourself, first grader you ever met.
When his school called you in the middle of your class, telling you he got into an altercation, you were shocked. You sent your class over to classroom next door, another art teacher who gladly helped you. Then you quickly gathered your things and got to the Elementary school as fast as you could. You spoke to the front desk. They pointed you down a hallway. If you were a third grader, you'd be scared shitless walking down this hallway.
Finally at the end of the row was your son. He was in a short sleeve plain red shirt and his favorite pair of shorts that has a little lightning bolt towards the bottom. Elliot's backpack was sitting next to him on the floor. He was digging his hand into a little ziploc bag of pretzels, a ziploc bag you didn't remember putting in his lunchbox. Elliot glanced up when he heard you approaching. He memorized the sound of the keychains on your bag clinking, thinking of home. He smiled brightly, and scooted out of his chair. He ran towards you, latching onto your leg.
You saw a row of three chairs, each filled with a small child, sat next to a door. The door had a small sign that read 'Princapal' so you assumed it might be the principal's office.
The child closest the the door was a girl with curly white hair tied in two pigtails down by her ears. She was wearing a shirt with Tinkerbell on it and a bright pink tutu. Her tennis shoes looked to light up. Her backpack was sat next to her. It was green and had beautiful flowers embroidered on it. She had what looked to be a thousand keychains, all of which were characters to another children's show. She was snacking on a small ziploc bag of goldfish. Luna.
Next to her was a boy. He had glasses that looked to large for his face, and curly hair that looked tossled from what you assumed was the altercation you were called in for. He had on a Spider-Man shirt and jean overalls. One of the straps to the overalls was unhooked and thrown over his shoulder. His shoes were of Lightning McQueen, they looked to light up too. They matched his backpack. That must be Harry. He was snacking on a ziploc bag of cheezits.
"I missed you, Ren. Am I going to get kicked out of school?" Elliot mumbled against your leg. You squated down and clutched onto his hands. You pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"No, baby. Why did they call me? Are you okay?" Elliot nodded as you asked him questions, holding up his bag of pretzels.
"Luna's dad gave us snacks. I took the pretzels because the cheezits are white cheddar and Harry likes those the best. And Luna likes the pizza goldfish, but I don't because they don't taste like the good pizza. But look, Rena, these pretzels have butter inside." Elliot quickly pulled out a pretzel and bit into it, showing the inside to you. Sure enough the pretzel had the fake cheese filling inside.
"Oh yeah look at that it does have cheese inside." Ignoring the fact he called cheese butter, you looked around Elliot as he continued to tell you all about his snack. You noticed two men  standing next to another water fountain. One of them was holding a green lunchbox that looked eerily similar to Luna's backpack. The other was holding a matching Lightning McQueen backpack, Harry's dad. They looked as confused as you, talking to each other quietly so their kids couldn't hear them in the near empty hallway.
"Okay baby I'm going to go talk to your friends' parents,  you go back to your chair and keep working on those cheese pretzels for me." Elliot quickly nodded. You kissed his forehead before standing up. Elliot turned back to his row of friends and started talking to Harry. You headed toward the water fountain.
Luna's dad was dressed in all black, you were curious as to how he had such a colorful kid. He was in a black button down that was tucked into his black slacks. His shoes were shiny and they made you wonder if he just came from a board meeting or whatever people who don't spend their entire day listening to your mom jokes as they teach high schoolers how to weave do. His hair was black and curly and looked to be perfectly set in place.  The only pop of color was his nails, bright green and pink splattered on each finger. Luna's doing. If you weren't deeply worried for your son, you'd say he was hot.
Harry's dad, and you do mean this in the nicest most respectful way, was fucking jacked. He was just as attractive as Luna's dad. He was in jeans and red converse. He had on a t-shirt that had red text on it. It said 'Boys with Tits' and little stars printed around the text. You wondered how strong that cotton t-shirt was because the sleeves around his biceps and pecs looked tired. Holding on for dear life. Harry's dad had what looked to be flour smeared on his cheek. His hair was also curly and black but was much different from Luna's Dad's hair as it was more messy. He looked a lot like Harry. He even had on very similar glasses. On his own Lightning McQueen backpack, was what looked to be the same number of keychains as Luna's bag had. Although his had less children's shows. You spotted a trans flag and a raccoon eating a sandwich among them. You glanced down at your own appearance, realizing you most definitely looked like an art teacher. Your hands were covered in paint. You grimaced before shrugging. One of these men had bright pink and green splattered on the tips of his fingers and the other was holding a Lightning McQueen backpack, you doubted they would care much. When you finally reached them, they both looked away from the other to stare at you.
"Hi. I'm Elliot's Parent." You gave them a light wave, giving them your name as well. They both nodded.
"Hey. I'm Harry's dad, James." you smiled at him.
"I'm Luna's Dad, Regulus."
"Do you guys know what happpened? They just said altercation on the phone." Regulus shook his head at the question. James shrugged. At this point you honestly felt sympathy for his sleeves.
"Luna won't even tell me what happened. She's just been sadly eating her pizza goldfish." Regulus said, looking between you and James.
"Oh yeah. Hey thanks for giving Elliot those pretzels. He thinks they're a hoot." Regulus shrugged at you.
"Luna's the one sharing." James moved the subject back to the whole reason you three were here.
"I asked Harry what happened and he told me 'name calling' and then continued with his cheezeits. So that's all I have." James explained. You thought you might be putting the pieces together now. Yes, Elliot was a kind boy but he was also loyal to a fault. You were both the type to self sacrifice in the name of love. You'd kill someone for Elliot and any one of your friends. Elliot does take after you in a lot of areas...
"Okay well I only see three children, they all seem to still be friends so who were they fighting?" You asked. There wasn't even another backpack sitting near the chairs. From what you spied in window to the principals office, the only person in there was the principal herself.
"Do you think our kids would actually get into a fight?" James asked. You and Regulus glanced at each other.
"Yes." You said in sync. You glanced back at Elliot. He had finished his snack and pulled out his Lighting McQueen picture book, showing Harry all the pages. Sweet boy, but also a tad rabid. You wouldn't be shocked if the principal told you he bit somebody.
"Luna's lovely don't get me wrong, but her favorite uncle has had to pay for a lot of bail." Regulus said, zipping open Luna's lunchbox. He peered in there. You wondered if he was looking for a shank she made during her art class. James huffed.
"If this is some stupid bullshit, I think I'll riot." James whispered.
"That's something Barty would say." Regulus muttered, stuffing his hand into Luna's lunchbox.
"Listen, I'm sure we're all just a little peaved because it's our kids, but surely this is something serious that truely needs me to leave 17 high schoolers alone with another teacher." James and Regulus gave you a knowing look. "Okay so I'm lying." Regulus pulled out a bag of apple slices. He held them up above his head and leaned to look around you.
"Lue, I'm stealing your apples. Is that okay with you?" Regulus yelled down the short hallway. Luna looked up from making her goldfish swim in the air, to look at Regulus. She nodded and held up a thumbs up. Regulus zipped her lunchbox again and pulled open the bag of apples.
"So what if they threw a couple punches, I taught Harry that we don't start fights, we end them." James explained. Regulus nodded as he bit into an apple. You huffed.
"I'm pretty sure I taught Elliot the difference between oil and acrylic. I'm honestly shocked he even knows the word fight." You felt a little behind on your parenting. Regulus set down Luna's lunchbox by his feet.
"Well to be perfectly honest, I am not shocked that Luna got into a fight. Her mother was, in the best way, fucking rabid. Love her to death, literally, but she got into a good number of fights while we were school." Regulus said. He chuckled after he said 'to death'. You kinda felt like he kept making inside jokes but he was the only one in on them. James nodded along.
"High school sweat hearts?" James asked, giving Regulus an understanding look.
"No," Regulus laughed as he bit into another apple. "Hell no. Um I knew her mother in high school. We were really close. She passed and I adopted Luna." You and James both let out sad ohs. Regulus didn't seemed bothered by it at all though, continuing to much on his apple slices.
"Well me and Harry's mum were high school sweethearts. After Harry was born though, we got divorced. His mum and her wife are both stuck at work so that's why they aren't here." James said, filling the awkward silence. You nodded.
"Really glad we're spending this time trauma dumping." You joked. Regulus snorted and held an apple slice out towards you. You great-fully took it as Regulus held one out towards James too.
"What is the Principal doing in there? Feeding her hostages?" James muttered not even a breath later he was following up his comment. "Sorry, that was mean." You and Regulus both laughed, looking at each other to make sure someone else thought it was funny, too. With that the door to her office opened, the Principal's head popping out.
"Sorry for the wait." She said, holding the door open.
The Prinicple would be terrifying to any first grader. She was in a perfectly pressed suit. Her perfectionism rivaling Regulus'. Her hair was back in an extremely slick bun and you questioning whether or not her name was Trunchbull. She sat down in the chair behind her desk, turning to her computer and typing away. She listed off each of your names, started with what you assumed was James' last name as he nodded at her and ending with yours.
"You should be." Regulus muttered before plastering a smile on and helping Luna out of her chair, shooing her into the office. James carried Harry's bag for him as they entered the office. The principal grimaced at James as he entered.
Elliot took his time, gently putting his book back into his backpack. You smiled at the care he took with his favorite book. Then he scooted out of his chair and pulled his arms through the straps. Elliot clutched onto your hand, as you walked him through the office door. There were three chairs sat in front of the Principal's desk. James was sat with Harry in his lap, James' arm crossed over his stomach. Regulus was sat similarly, Luna deciding not to face the Principals and instead sitting sideways in Regulus' lap. You sat in the chair in between Regulus and James. Elliot hopped up into your lap, placing his backpack next to you. He leaned back against you and held onto both your hands. You were pretty sure he was scared shitless, but you completely understood.
"Today your children got into a fist fight with another student. We do not accept bullying of any forms here so we will-" Regulus cut off the principal, pausing from digging into his bag of apples.
"Well what caused the fight?" Regulus asked. The Principal stayed silent for a moment before continuing.
"What started the fight does not matter. What matters is that your three children ganged up on one student, and beat him. We do not accept physical-" It was James' turn to cut her off this time.
"Well who swung first?" The principal clenched her jaw. She glared at James. Harry took it upon himself to answer for her.
"Charles did." Harry said as he swung his feet back and forth in his father's lap. James hummed.
"So you didn't start it?" James asked. Harry shook his head.
"One could say that he didn't start it but he did finish it." Regulus muttered chomping into an apple. You stuck your hand out to him. Regulus dropped a slice from the bag into your hand.
"Listen, if you three would please let me finish-" The principle started.
"Actually I have a question for you, Mrs. Principle. I didn't have time to learn your name, I was quite busy with my job," James snorted at you. "I was wondering, what happened before the fight? What triggered it to start? I am quite confident that my son wouldn't just beat some other kid up for fun. At least not unwarrantedly." Regulus nodded at you. Luna wouldn't kick somebody in shin just for breathing wrong, well actually.
"Again that does not matter-" Harry took over the principal's speaking time yet again to answer the question himself.
"Charles called Luna a bitch." Harry said, matter of factly. Regulus scoffed and James leaned down to ask Harry if he was serious.
"Yeah he did, so I called him a bootlicking, slimy, vomit inducing, retched, failed abortion." Luna said. You glanced over at her. It was actually the first time you heard her speak. You felt a small smile grow, understanding what Regulus said in the hallway earlier. Regulus was smiling brightly. He held his hand out in front of her. Luna slapped her hand in his, giving Regulus a loud high five.
"Then Charles said she was a dumb idiot." Harry explained, still swinging his feet back and forth. "Then Elliot said something, I don't 'member but it pissed Charles off so he punched Luna in the arm." Harry continued. You looked down at Elliot.
"I told him the only time anyone will ever love him is if he was cremated and turned into a diamond." Elliot whispered. You laughed. Elliot looked up at you, a small smile growing on his face. You gently kissed his on his forehead.
"Oh I love you, you know that Elliot?" Elliot nodded and looked back to the empty Ziploc bag he was tearing holes in.
"I would greatly appreciate it if you three would take this seriously, this is no laughing matter. " The principal said, clenching her jaw.
"Well I would greatly appreciate it if you took this seriously. A boy called this girl a bitch and then punched her and yet we're the ones who had to leave work to meet with you. It seems to me that these kids were just defending themselves. I think you just grabbed the nearest kids and blamed them. Luna didn't do anything she's the victim. Elliot and James were just protecting their friend. Sure maybe they should've gone easy on him the failed abortion comment would've been just enough but-"
"Your children broke a boy's nose."
"Well, maybe he should've kept his mouth shut." Regulus said, sitting up in his chair.
"I think he'll be too busy breathing out of it to call anyone else names, now." James said, setting Harry on his feet. James stood and swung his backpack over his shoulder before holding out Harry's.
"Ms. Potter we are not done here." The prinipal said.
"Seems to me we are, see you Monday." James said. Luna took that sign and hopped off Regulus' lap, pulling her own bag on.
"Well Ms. Potter I do hope over the weekend you find a new shirt, along with new manners." The principal said. You stood up, letting Elliot run out the door after Harry and Luna.
"Well Mrs. Principal I do hope you learn how to shut your mouth on matters that don't concern you, you foul, lothesome, grimy, bottoming-feeding, transphobe. Enjoy your night." You said. You reached over her desk and knocked her mug over. Her coffee spilled over the papers on her desk dripping into her lap. You assumed it was cold by now because she just clenched her jaw.  You gave her a bright smile and left out the office door. Regulus and James shared a look before following. You three lead your children out of the school building and stopped on the steps. The three kids ran off towards the nearby tree, attempting to climb it.
"We are probably going to have to enroll our kids somewhere else, huh?" You asked. James shook his head.
"No, schools almost out and luckily for us she's actually transferring in about a month anyways." James explained. Regulus nodded, setting Luna's bag down.
"I do mean this in the most respectful way, but that was extremely attractive." Regulus said. You heard Elliot laugh over in the tree at something Luna said. James nodded at Regulus.
"Oh yeah extremely Pilf-y." James grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Regulus turned to him with a confused look.
"Public Interest Legal Foundation?" Regulus asked. James, smile fell.
"No, Parent I'd Love to Fuck. Like milf or dilf." Regulus laughed and reached out for James. He gripped onto James' bicep as he laughed. You started chuckling along with him, his laughter very contagious. Regulus wiped at his eyes and he stood again.
"Oh that was good, James."
"I don't think it was that funny." James muttered. You shrugged.
"I thought it was good." Regulus sighed and straightened his back.
"So our kids beat another kid up." He said. You nodded. You glanced over at Harry and Luna helping Elliot climb up.
"Your kid has a filthy mouth Regulus, if she said that to me I think I'd cry." James said, nudging Regulus with his elbow. Regulus smiled proudly.
"I know, right? What a psycho first grader." Regulus said. His chest seemed to puff out a little more.
"Where did she even learn half those words?" You asked. Regulus' face fell as he stared at you with serious eyes.
"Her uncle." You and James shared a look.
"well Elliot isn't innocent either, that diamond comment was wild." James said, jumping topics. You nodded.
"I'm extremely proud of my son, I personally think they derseve some ice cream, what do you guys think?" You asked. They both looked at each other.
"Sounds good to me." Regulus muttered, Pulling Luna's bag over his shoulder.
"They'll have napkins there so I can give you guys my number." James said, winking at you both. You chuckled.
"Ah ha yeah that was smooth, James. Good one." You complimented.
"Yeah I thought so." James said, turning towards the tree and calling the kids down. You looked to Regulus.
"Oh by the way I love Luna's bag it's so pretty." You said. Regulus' ears turned red. He glanced down at his shoes before looking back up at you.
"Thanks. I actually made it for her." You gave him a shocked look.
"Did you really?" Regulus nodded. "Well you're extremely talented Regulus." Soon enough all six of you were in an ice cream shop. The kids were giddy. They were getting sticky ice cream all over their faces and hands, but it didn't matter. This was a celebration. you spent the time laughing along with James and Regulus. When the kids finally finished their ice cream James stayed true to his word and gave you both his number. He made a group chat before you even left the parking lot, starting up a conversation about a date.
part two
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the-s1lly-corner · 18 days ago
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can i get creeps (of ur choice) w a s/o who is TERRIBLE at baking yet always trying 2 get them to eat what they make?? (inspired by me bc *story time* i made sugar cookies a few days ago and my gf said they tasted like isopropyl alcohol :|!.)
Various crps x reader who sucks at baking
I dropped a heavy ass pan on my foot OOOOOOOEIR HISSHISS genuinely mad too because I dropped it the day before I was planning to start getting back into my workout routine
Characters: laughing jack, ticci toby, jeff the killer
Notes: reader is GN, reader is trying their best :(, jeff doesn't have a filter nor is he gentle, they all suck at baking too dwdw, written on mobile
CWs: none
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LAUGHING JACK
He himself is a horrible baker for two reasons.... he adds way too much sugar for one, and he doesn't fully pay attention to the recipe... there's a reason he sticks to his candies
He does tease you for your mess ups but he still ears everything you give to him- being a clown that doesn't get sick like humans do comes in handy when trying to make your partner feel better
Your lack of skill does not stop him from making requests for goodies for you to make- surely you're a better baker than him! Msybe.... hopefully... even if you aren't he's still going to try
Your number 1 fan, you can give him something burnt to a crisp and he's going to demolish it in seconds .... he says it gives your food character!
TICCI TOBY
Can't bake OR cook so he kind of feels like he doesn't have much room to talk BUUUUUUUUT he sometimes let's what he wants to say spill out without much thought... BUT he does try to redirect to keep you happy
Doesn't much care for sweet stuff in general, he prefers sour stuff and candies but he's still going to brute force himself into taking a bite of whatever you've made
Subtly lingers around you while you're in the kitchen and reads over the recipe you're looking at- this kind of leads to him picking up some skille for himself
^tries to correct you if you've gotten something mixed up or wrong.... nearly launches himself over the counter when you almost fall to the "mixing salt and sugar" mistake
JEFF THE KILLER
Like toby he has no filter, but he does have the mind to try to find something positive to say to sweeten the knee-jerk reaction
Doesn't understand why you might become upset or get hung up on his words- he can't bake either and he doesn't let it bother him... he's just not cut out for baking
Takes him a good hot minute before he starts to understand that you're genuinely trying and feel horrible over not getting things right... will apologize and offers to get (steal) you a cook book or something if you're struggling with recipes
I promise he's not trying to be backhanded with the cook book offer
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aboringredmop · 2 months ago
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k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!
(edit: here's the full recording! )
Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)
they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)
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they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)
they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show
they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol
they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)
they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.
Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"
Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)
they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)
also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key
they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically
also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho
they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck
lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)
international release of the show soon!
Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it
3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!
they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them
they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background
then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends
the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs
the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)
Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it
I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am
edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)
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(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)
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strnilolover · 14 days ago
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.✦ ── The Sweetest Treat ── ✦.
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♡ Baker!Matt and Reader dress up and go trick or treating with their daughter
⚠︎ Warnings : none just pure fluff!!
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You stood in the hallway, fluffing the fur on your costume and feeling a mix of excitement and embarrassment. The grey jumpsuit hugged your frame, complete with little Remy ears on a headband and a swishing tail that swung each time you moved.
When you had first mentioned the idea of us dressing as the characters from Ratatouille for Halloween, Matt had grinned from ear to ear. And now, here you were.
“Babe, how’s it going in there?” you called, trying to suppress a giggle as you waited for Matt to emerge from the bathroom.
He didn’t respond, only the sound of shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door. Your feet carried you closer to the door, hand reaching out to open it, but before you could the handle turned.
The door opened, and there he stood, his body leaning against the frame with a smug expression, dressed in the full attire of a professional chef. The white uniform fit him perfectly, tailored to his broad shoulders and frame, and the chef’s hat perched jauntily atop his head. A red scarf peeked out from his collar, adding a touch of warmth to the otherwise pristine outfit. He looked… incredible.
His brow arched, arms crossed over his chest as he took in the sight of you. A small smirk tugged at his lips as his eyes raked up and down your own frame.
“Well, well, look at you, Remy,” he teased, his voice thick with amusement, his eyes lingering over the parts of the costume that hugged your body.
Your face flushed, twirling as you let the fabric of your jumpsuit sway around you, your fake rat tail bouncing as you turned. “What do you think?” you chirped.
He grinned. “I think my girl is the cutest rat I’ve ever seen,” he chuckled, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down, his lips pressing a kiss to your temple.
Before you could respond, tiny footsteps echoed down the hall, and you turned just in time to see your daughter scurrying toward you, her excitement bubbling over in her squeals of delight. She was dressed in a fuzzy white onesie with tiny pink ears and a painted nose, her little albino rat costume completing our little family’s ensemble perfectly.
“Daddy, Mommy, look at me! I’m a baby rat!” she cried, her tiny hands reaching up, and you could barely contain your laughter. She looked adorable, the hood of her onesie casting shadows over her eyes, making her look like a real-life cartoon.
Matt crouched down, scooping her into his arms with a soft chuckle. “Wow! The cutest rat in the world!” he exclaimed, spinning her around in his arms as she giggled uncontrollably.
“You’re the best rat, baby,” you added, adjusting her little ears on the top of her head so they stayed in place. Matt grinned, setting her down gently. “Alright, my little rats, ready to go get some candy?” he said, walking toward the kitchen to grab the little bucket for your daughter.
Your daughter’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Yes! Candy!” she chanted, bouncing up and down with excitement as Matt handed her the tiny trick-or-treat bucket. It was black with a little picture of a smiling rat on the front—one you had painted on just for her.
You slipped your hands into each other’s, sharing a smile as you watched your daughter waddle toward the door, her bucket swinging with each step. “You look so handsome in your uniform,” you whispered to Matt, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek.
He blushed, his grin growing as he tugged you closer. “I could say the same, little rat,” he teased, giving you a playful wink as he squeezed your hand.
Outside, the cool autumn air greeted you with a gentle breeze, the scent of fallen leaves and distant bonfires filling the atmosphere. The neighborhood was alive with children’s laughter and the vibrant colors of costumes—witches, superheroes, and even a few other animal characters roamed from door to door, collecting treats.
Your daughter’s eyes widened, her little hand clutched tightly in yours as she took in the sight. “Look, Daddy, a princess!” she gasped, pointing at a young girl twirling in a sparkly gown.
Matt chuckled,“Wow, she’s beautiful,” he said, smiling down at her. “But I think you’re the prettiest there ever was.” She giggled, her chubby cheeks flushing with pride as she squeezed his hand.
You all made your way through the neighborhood, passing some houses that didn’t have their lights on, and some who were already starting to turn their lights out. But, eventually, you found a house that was still awake.
As you approached the house, you gently nudged your daughter forward, and she glanced back at you for reassurance. “You got this, baby,” you whispered, giving her an encouraging nod.
She nodded, taking a deep breath as she approached the front door, knocking on it with her tiny fist. When an older woman opened the door, she practically melted at the sight of your daughter, a wide smile spreading across her face.
Your daughter smiled brightly, holding up her little bucket. “Trick r’treat!” she squealed, her little feet stomping against the concrete in excitement.
“Oh my goodness, aren’t you just the sweetest little thing?” the woman cooed, dropping a generous handful of candy into her bucket.
Your daughter turned to you, her eyes shining with excitement and smiling brightly, holding up her bucket and running back to you as if it were a treasure. “I did it!” she squealed.
You and Matt clapped, sharing in her joy. “You did amazing, sweetheart!” you praised, crouching down to pull her into a quick hug.
“Good job, princess,” Matt added, ruffling her hair. You both grabbed her hand once more, making sure to keep her close as the sky turned darker.
You continued down the street, your little girl’s enthusiasm growing with each house. As the evening darkened more, her bucket filled up, and though her steps began to slow, her energy never faltered. Every house was a new adventure, and every piece of candy was a little victory.
“You’re doing so good, baby girl,” you murmured, noticing the slight tiredness creeping into her voice as she leaned against you.
Her little toothy smile beamed tiredly as she looked up at you. “Mommy, can we go to one more house?” she asked, her voice soft, almost like she was trying to stretch the night as long as possible.
You sighed softly, glancing at Matt, who nodded with a gentle smile. “One more, and then we’ll head home,” he agreed, reaching down to brush a hand through her hair.
At the final house, your daughter mustered up all the energy she had left, knocking on the door one last time. When the door opened, a friendly woman beamed down at her, admiring all three of you in your matching costumes.
“What an adorable family,” she said warmly, her smile soft as she dropped a few extra pieces of candy into our daughter’s bucket.
With a tired but proud smile, your daughter turned to you, holding up her bucket as though she’d conquered the whole world. You both beamed back, each of you feeling that unmistakable warmth of pride.
As you walked back home, you wrapped an arm around Matt’s waist, your daughter snuggled into your arms, her little head nodding forward with exhaustion. The stars twinkled above, and the houses grew quiet as porch lights flickered off one by one, signaling the end of the night.
As you walked up the steps to your house, Matt let his arm fall from around your shoulders. Walking forward more as he took his keys and unlocked the front door.
Inside, you carefully set your daughter down on the couch, watching as her eyelids drooped and her fingers clung to her candy bucket. Gently you took the bucket from her and set it aside, brushing a stray hair away from her face.
Matt crouched beside her, his voice soft. “Did you have fun, bun?” he said, reaching a hand up and ruffling her hair. She nodded, her eyes fluttering shut as she murmured sleepily, “So much fun…”
He looked up at you, his expression tender, and you exchanged a quiet smile as he scooped her up, carrying her up to bed. You followed closely behind as he walked through her bedroom door.
He carefully set her down on the edge of her bed, grabbing her pajamas and changing her out of her costume. Once she was changed he tucked her in, brushing a gentle kiss on her forehead as she finally drifted off completely, a soft smile on her lips.
He smiled down at her, standing up and walking toward the door where you were, costumes still on your bodies. He reached out and grabbed your hand softly, walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.
Back downstairs, Matt and you sat on the couch, a comfortable silence wrapping around you as you took a moment to relax. You leaned your head on his shoulder, letting out a contented sigh. “Tonight was perfect,” you murmured, closing your eyes as you breathed in the warmth of his embrace.
He hummed, nodding his head. “It really was,” he agreed, pressing a soft kiss to your hair. “Thank you for making this happen.” he whispered.
You smiled, taking his hand and lacing your fingers through his. “Thanks for going along with it, Chef Sturniolo.” you say, winking at him as a grin spread across your face.
He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. “For you two? I’d do anything.”
As you finally climbed the stairs to bed, you peeked in on your daughter, watching her sleep peacefully, her little hand clutching her stuffed rat toy. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling the deepest sense of contentment. You had made a beautiful memory tonight, one that you knew would last for years to come.
You closed the door softly, Matt already in your room at the end of the hall. Walking into your room, you caught him halfway through changing out of his costume. A grin spreading across your face.
“Man, i wish you would wear that all the time.” you said, walking closer to him as his back was turned to you. Wrapping your arms around him from behind you hugged him.
He turned his head over his shoulder, smiling at you. “Maybe i might, but if I do, you have to wear the rat costume, Remy.” he chuckled, your eyes rolling playfully. “I don’t know how i’d feel about being dressed as a rat all the time babe.” you muttered, pinching his bare stomach.
He laughed softly, turning around in your embrace as he swiftly grabbed you and lifted you up. Your legs wrapping around his waist as your arms wrapped around his neck.His hands holding you by the thighs as he pressed a kiss to your lips, slow but passionate.
Pulling away he pecked your flushed cheek, “You’d look adorable all the time if you did. I don’t know if i’d be able to keep my hands off you though.” he said grinning, a hand coming up to mess with your tail on the costume.
You hummed, leaning your head forward and resting it on his shoulder as you pressed a kiss to his neck. “I think i’d be okay with that.”
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© strnilolover
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a/n : cute little family trick or treating thing. I love this so much if i’m being honest 💖
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sirtotallynotatimetraveler · 10 months ago
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Welcome To Confection Castle! (AU)
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What in the World is Confection Castle? :
Confection Castle (formerly known as Candy/Candied Castle) is a role-swap AU of Pizza Tower, akin to the more well-known PT swap AU, Sugary Spire. Unlike Sugary Spire, Confection Castle only swaps the roles of the characters and not their personalities, with a few alterations. With the unchanged personalities of each character, this instead changes the mechanics, environment, and even story of Pizza Tower, with each character handling their swapped roles more differently than Sugary Spire's interpretation.
(This AU's concept was largely inspired by TS!Underswap. A reimagining and fangame of the Undertale AU, Underswap, which uses the same concept)
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The Story:
Teddy is faced with the consequences of his own actions after pulling one too many pranks against a castle that was bought out by a huge confection company, Candyboy Corporations. A company that steals the competition against smaller sweets business owners. Teddy's given a warning by the corporation CEO's assistant, Granny Candydimples, that the CEO will destroy his and many other confectionary's shops, forcing them to all work for his company. Thanks to the warning, Teddy and his confectionary allies team up to take down the Confection Castle and its evil schemes.
The Characters (may or not feature some slightly outdated art):
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Teddy Taffy (Theodore Taffy) - Noise in the Role of Peppino: A smug, witty, mostly down to earth, prankster who formerly premiered on the big screen before leaving it all to continue his family's legacy: making mouthwatering candy and sweets. He owns a quaint candy shop in a vaguely European town near a looming Confection Castle. He's obsessed with sugar and when he consumes a good amount of it, can become hyperactive and manic.
Suzy (Suzette) - Noisette in the Role of Gustavo: A kind-hearted, rule-following, and dorky dessert baker who owns a bakery/patisserie next to Teddy's candy shop. She's close friends with Teddy and secretly has a crush on him, which may or may not be obvious to everyone except Ted. Like Ted, her business was challenged by Candyboy Corporations, forcing her to rally against the castle with Teddy,
The Ingredipets - Role of the Toppins: Little creatures resembling confectionary ingredients that were kidnapped and enslaved by Candyboy Corp. to make the companies candy. Teddy and his allies will save each of them to defeat their competitor. Ingredipets may be different depending on the character being played.
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Captain Crackle (Peppino Ravioli) - Peppino in the Role of The Noise: Captain Crackle is a well-known cereal brand pirate captain mascot for the cereal of the same name. He's played by a worn-out has-been TV and opera celebrity Peppino Ravoli who does the bidding of Candyboy Corporations to make a living. He takes on three jobs: Captain Crackle, a Candyboy Corp. gift shop worker, and the Castle's TV News Anchor. He just wants to quit everything and live a peaceful life making pizza, his real dream.
Mr. Gus (Gustavo) - Gustavo in the Role of Noisette: Mr. Gus is Captain Crackle's pirate sidekick who serves as the comic relief character, always getting the short end of the stick and being kicked/thrown around the place for comedic effect. His actor, Gustavo, has a similar story to Peppino's, working for the castle, trying to sustain a living. He owns a secret soda tavern hidden from where his boss can find it.
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Mr. Lollygagger - Pizzahead in the Role of Mr. Stick: Teddy's accountant who both does and doesn't take his job seriously. He pulls many gags toward his patrons to get them to comply with his offers and tries to pose as a nice, patient, and understanding accountant who needs money in exchange for a good offer. Ted's annoyed by him, A LOT.
Sapphire - Snick in the Role of Brick: An adventurous, rule-breaking, and cocky rock candy Porcupine who loves to skate on his hoverboard at the speed of sound. He becomes friends with Suzy after pestering her rule-following morals and later helps her and Teddy's journey.
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Murray Muffinman - Pepperman in the Role of Gerome: An experimental artistic genius restrained to the role of maintaining the paint job of the castle. When he's on break he goes to his supply room to unleash his creativity through all sorts of mediums. He can be found all over the castle. He will reward his own art if he is helped to find his supply room.
Gumther Gumdrop - Vigilante in the Role of The Priest: Gumther is a farmer who grows sweet-tasting fruits that grant magical healing abilities. He sells his fruits in fruit stands all over the castle but it comes with a price.
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Butler Scotch - Gerome in the Role of Pepperman: Scotch is the butler of the Royal Candy Family, who were the original owners of the castle before signing an agreement with Candyboy Corp. Scotch is the first boss Teddy has to fight due to one of the Royal Candy's prince (originally intended to fight Ted) left Scotch to stand on guard as he goes out for lunch.
The Pope - The Priest in the Role of The Vigilante: The leader of the Caramelist religious group and overseer of the Basilicaramel Church. After Teddy destroys the church during one of the levels, The Pope seeks to cleanse Ted of his sins by fighting against him.
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Granny Candydimples - Granny Pizza in the Role of Pizzaface: The oldest member of the Royal Candy Family who was demoted and forced to the role of the CEO's assistant. She's kind-hearted and honest with no ill intent unlike her boss, going out of her way to disobey him sometimes.
Uncle Candiesworth - Pizzaface in the Role of Granny Pizza: The Uncle of the Royal Candy Family. He's one of the few family members who rebels against Candyboy Corporations and agrees to help Teddy and his friends destroy the castle. He's grumpy, bossy, and insults people constantly, but he has a good heart.
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The Teddy Doll - Role of Fake Peppino: A cursed doll resembling Teddy. It's been presumed to have been cursed with dark magic, cast on by a cult. It is unknown what the purpose of this doll was for. All we know is that you won't see it in the same place it was left at the second you turn your back towards it.
Cookie Blair - Role of Mort the Chicken: Oh boy! It's Cookie Blair from the hit 90's 3D point-and-click PC abandonware game Cookie's Bustle! Watch as she and Teddy travel across Cookie City as Ted tries to hide Cookie from the police trying to remove her entire existence for good. (To whom it may concern (looking at you), I am not profiting off this project, therefore not profiting off Cookie's Bustle. Please don't copyright strike me or this project.)
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Nezukira - Brick in the Role of Snick: Nezukira is the world-famous thunder rat character from the equally famous elemental critter collecting and fighting video game "Sackicritt". Nezukira is heavily merchandised with its adorable appearance; from plushes, socks, gummies, and cigars. Besides Nezukira, there are several other Sackicritts to obtain, with "Net Handlers" who accompany them.
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Jen Beam - Role of John Pillar: Jen is the older sister of Butler Scotch. She is the caretaker/ruler of all the levels in the castle, making sure that everything is in order and won't crumble to the floor. She guards the door to each "dimensional control room" that deactivates the levels in the castle. She will only let people pass if she is given gourmet candy with the finest ingredients.
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Candyboy - Role of Pizzaboy: Candyboy was the prime mascot and face of Candyboy Corporations. He's a happy-go-lucky, fun-loving, eccentric kid with all the childhood innocence packed into one. He loves candy and is very marketable. Despite Candyboy's innocent presence being long gone, he is still the face of the company.
The Candyman - Role of Pizzahead: The Candyman is the man behind the whole corporation, mostly know as the CEO. Not many have had the chance to meet The Candyman in person, but he's been said to be demanding, ruthless, and manipulative to get what he wants. He will do everything to gain the title of being the best confectionary business. If it exists, he wants it in his company.
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And that's it for character introductions! I am planning on adding characters that will be entirely original in this AU like new friends that will accompany Ted, new bosses, and other characters that will build the world for this AU. Other stuff such as levels, music, and game mechanic ideas are in the works too. Lots of stuff is planned for this AU project!
If you want to make fan art for Confection Castle, go ahead! I love fan art! Just make sure to tag me if you post it. Other fan stuff like music is cool too!
Thanks for reading y'all.
(Also, I am not planning on making this an actual game as I have no experience with coding or stuff that is needed to actually make a game. But if anyone with experience with game design wants to make it happen...hit me up haha.)
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cxffncase · 2 years ago
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the gang draws self portraits (rate them. if u care)
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ghulehunknown · 11 months ago
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Mistletoe’d: Papa Emeritus III x F Reader
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“Papa’s going to be coming down your chimney tonight.”
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 (coming soon!)
**WARNING - NSFW CONTENT - MDNI**
Summary: After the Ministry Christmas party, you join Terzo in his bedchamber for some festive activities.
CW/Tags: characters drinking alcohol, established relationship, clothed female nude male, blowjob, penetrative sex (P in V), condom use, cunnilingus, face-sitting, face fucking
Word Count: 4381
Available on AO3! Primo | Secondo | Terzo | Copia
Author’s Note: This is the third day of the four-part series XXXmas at the Ministry, a collaboration with @copias-sewer-rat, @molly-ghuleh, and @bupia - please read their works too!
Happy Hornidays! ❄️
xoxo, the Naughty Ghulehs 💋
Primo | Secondo | Copia
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A HUGE thank you to AlexandrMcQueer on Twitter for the accompanying artwork! Check out the full NSFW version on her account.
Tonight was finally the night of the annual Ministry Christmas party, and Christmas Eve. Papa needed your help to pull everything off, so all week you were scheduling with the bakers, the cooks, the cleaning crew, and decorating.
But after this evening, you could relax. Well, aside from tending to Papa’s needs and making sure the ghouls didn’t get too soused that it ruined their unholiday in the morning. But after the party, you could enjoy the festivities.
Everyone began milling about and socializing in the main hall, picking at the large charcuterie spread and ladling punch or eggnog into glasses. It looked like everyone from the Clergy was there. Even Imperator and Nihil showed up, though they did not seem too sociable, seating themselves at a table in the corner. Primo immediately sat himself in one of the few chairs scattered around the hall with a large mug of something warm.
Suddenly the ghouls began whooping and you turned your head to see Terzo enter in a lavish looking Santa suit - it was made of crushed red velour with flecks of red sparkles and appeared to be trimmed with white feathers.
“Nice suit, Terzo,” you quipped, eyeing him up and down as he approached you.
“That’s Papa Claus to you, principessa,” he said with a snarky grin and giving you a smooch on the lips. “And you’re Santa’s little helper.”
That you were. He’d ordered you the shortest green elf dress, although the skirt was more like a tulle tutu. The outfit was a whole ensemble, complete with an elf hat with ears, pointy shoes with bells on the end, and candy cane patterned tights. You felt ridiculous, but ’tis the season.
Everyone was in their best holiday attire - anything from ugly Christmas sweaters to formal wear. The ghouls were all dressed in elf costumes, with the exception of Dew, who was dressed as Rudolph - an antler headband fitted over his mask and a red nose strapped to the front of his mask.
Cardinal Copia was wearing an old Saint Nick red and gold cloak over his red cassock, and a poorly made attachable white beard. Secondo was dressed in an all black 3 piece suit that had a subtle fleur de lis pattern, and was chatting with one of Primo’s ghouls.
The night went on, and you were actually managing to have fun. The ghouls turned one of the snack tables into a flip cup station (much to your dismay as you shuffled the catering staff carrying fresh trays of food back into the kitchen) and several of the Siblings started Christmas karaoke, with a very drunk-looking Copia taking the lead.
Terzo flitted between you and the rest of the guests, chatting with various Clergy members (and skillfully dodging Imperator each time). He snuck up behind you, squeezing your ass.
“Make sure these old fucks are having fun, eh?” he said lowly in your ear, nodding backwards to the senior members of the Clergy.
“And just how am I supposed to do that?” you said, one eyebrow raised, his hand still under your skirt.
He winked at you, handing you a bottle of opened bourbon before cupping your ass cheek in his hand and rubbing it. “We’ll cheers soon, then I can have you all to myself.” He leaned in closer to whisper in your ear. “Papa’s going to be coming down your chimney tonight.”
He clapped you on the ass then darted between people again. “Everybody - eggnog!” he shouted towards the crowd, raising his arms up. He was herding everyone to the center. You thought you might die on the spot from your cheeks burning red, but everyone was paying attention to him - thank Satan.
As everyone poured themselves another glass and gathered, you went around and splashed a bit of bourbon in everyone’s cup.
“Some bourbon for your eggnog, Cardinal?” you asked Copia, approaching him with the bottle.
“Eh, none for me,” he said, hiccuping and covering his glass. “It’s strong enough as it is! I’ve had th-three already.”
“It’s nonalcoholic, Cardinal,” you responded, blinking at him. He looked puzzled and walked away.
You made your way over to Primo who was almost snoozing in his chair. “Papa Primo?” you asked, holding the bottle out, gesturing towards his half empty mug. You weren’t sure if he was dressed like Scrooge on purpose or if those were just his pajamas but he mumbled something that sounded like “Bah,” and shook his head swiftly, the tassel at the end of his nightcap swinging around.
Everyone was standing in a semicircle around Terzo, who for once seemed just slightly lost for words. “Well, uh - shit,” he began, eliciting a few chuckles from the crowd. “I do not know what else to say, other than it’s been a fucking great year. We had two fantastic tours, and we’ll be continuing into next year… I, eh - met someone very dear.” He glanced at you briefly before continuing. “We won a motherfucking Grammy…!”
The ghouls whooped and cheered while the Siblings and other Clergy members clapped. You glanced over in the corner. Even Imperator seemed pleased - maybe.
“Sì, sì it has been phenomenal. You should all be very pleased with yourselves. So pleased in fact I think you should all celebrate, in eh, whatever means you choose to do. And if I do not see you all before the New Year, have an unblessed holiday. Now, we toast! Tomorrow morning we will celebrate our Savior’s birth. But for tonight, we sin.” He held up his glass and the others did the same. “To Lucifer!”
“To Lucifer,” you said, chiming in with a chorus of voices. You swallowed your bourbon-eggnog concoction - mostly bourbon by your heavy hand, you found as you winced slightly, the liquor burning down your throat. You didn’t drink much and this was your first holiday gathering at the Ministry. Next month would mark your first full year here, and the first time you laid eyes upon him - your Terzo.
“Eh, see you next year, Papa!” piped up Copia, still hiccuping as he nodded and ducked out of the crowd. You smiled at the Cardinal’s little joke. Terzo stopped in his tracks for just a moment and acknowledged Copia before walking away.
He rolled his eyes as he walked towards you then his face brightened. “Hello,” he said, standing very close to you.
“Hi, Papa,” you said, smiling at him and holding up the last bit of bourbon, swishing it in the bottle. “Saved the last for you.”
“Mmm,” he said, leaning in to kiss you. “How much? I need to keep my stamina for later.”
You took a swig and shuddered - Satanas, you still couldn’t drink straight liquor. “Not much now.” He chuckled at you and took the bottle from your hand, knocking back the rest. You coughed a couple of times and reached for some party punch, completely forgetting the one you reached for also had alcohol and coughed again.
He patted you soothingly on the back and asked, “Are you okay, tesorina?”
You nodded, finally grabbing the nonalcoholic punch and chugging some.
“Will Papa have to take care of his little elf this evening?” he said, trailing the back of his index finger over your cheek.
“No, Papa,” you said, clearing your throat. “I’ve barely had anything.”
“Good. I have a surprise for you tonight, amore.”
“Hm. Any hint?” you asked coyly.
“Not a fucking clue. Come to my room in five minutes just as you are.” He picked up a handful of hard candies from the snack table and popped a few in his mouth, staring at you while walking backwards a few paces before turning around and heading down the hall.
You continued to mingle with the other Siblings, trying hard to conceal your blushing cheeks but to no avail.
“Someone’s excited about something,” one said.
“It’s nothing,” you murmured.
“Come on - spill!”
“Well, Terzo and I -”
“Terzo?” said another.
“Oooooh!” the others said in a singsong tone almost in unison.
“He said he has a surprise for me, in his room.”
“So you graduated from office visits to home visits now?” asked the first Sibling, looking impressed.
“Well…I’ve seen his bedroom a few times,” you said, not willing to divulge the full truth just yet. You’d been spending most of your nights in his room and sneaking back into the Siblings’ quarters early in the morning. Even though each Sibling had their own room, you knew your Sisters would hear the door to the suite open.
“I think this is the most serious he’s been with anyone,” said the second Sibling. “I’ve been here a few years and usually he’s done with his fling after two months. But you’ve stuck around.” You shook your head, not willing to believe this hype only to be let down. You just wanted to live in the moment and enjoy what you had with Terzo. “You should go - you don’t want to keep him waiting.”
You smiled and bid your fellow Siblings goodbye as they all made lewd gestures to imitate various sex acts and waved you off, wishing you luck.
You walked down the silent and dark corridors, passing ghouls and Siblings alike shrouded in the shadows to have their midnight dalliances, no doubt egged on by the holiday cheer and the alcohol. You smiled, thinking about not having to hide in a hallway like when you first started dating him. Now you had his entire bedroom to have your sultry romps.
You opened his door and walked into his Papal suite, the familiar lush decor and smell of mahogany filling your senses. You passed by the small and elegantly decorated Christmas tree by the fireplace. You wondered just what his surprise might be when you saw him propped up against the wall, a rose in his mouth and —
What was that?
He was dressed in his Santa jacket and hat, with nothing else on - save one thing. Your eyes trailed along his upper body then snapped to what was in between his legs. On the end of his throbbing hard cock was some mistletoe, tied around his shaft by a red ribbon and a little gold bell below it. He waggled his eyebrows and at the same time isolated his pelvic muscles to make his cock bob up and down, tinkling the bell.
“How long have you just been standing there all hard waiting for me?”
His face fell momentarily and he took the rose out of his mouth. “I thought you would like it.”
“I do!” you said, suppressing laughter as best as you could while stepping towards him. You held onto the lapels of his jacket and leaned in. “I do.” He smiled again, a smug look of satisfaction washing over him.
“Good,” he said, handing you the rose. “Because you’re going to get stuffed and glazed just like Secondo’s honey ham.”
You bit your bottom lip, smiling. “But I don’t think it’ll be quite as delicious as you, amore.”
“It should be. I’ve been eating a lot of pineapple for this.”
“Really? Then I’ll have to taste it for myself,” you said, feeling the heat pool at your core.
He cupped your face in his hands, kissing you deeply, slipping his tongue in. You weren’t sure where to place your hands so you held onto the rose with one hand, the other in his hair. He swiftly brought you closer to him, his quivering cock poking at your thigh under your tulle skirt.
“Mm!” you said, surprised at feeling his hardness brush against you.
“Well,” he said, pulling away to look at you. “It’s not going to kiss itself, tesoro.” He twitched his cock again, making it bob up and down and wagged his hips side to side, making it shake the other direction and sounding the bell.
You eyed him slyly as you bent down, gently falling to your knees before him and placing the rose on the floor. You took his cock in your hand and began stroking his length, eyeing the perfect pink tip at the end. Each time you stroked him, the bell would chime.
“Oh cazzo,” he sighed, leaning his head back, his lips parted.
You flicked the tip of your tongue against the head of his cock and watched his abdominal muscles contract. He was like putty in your hands.
“You like that, amore?” you asked teasingly, his shaft in your palm.
He glared at you from the corner of his eye. “Stai zitto,” he said through moans as you continued to swirl your tongue around the head of his cock. But you could swear you saw a smirk pull at the corner of his mouth as he said this.
You closed your eyes as you took his entire length in your mouth, sliding him in and out and clutching onto his hips. The little leaves on the mistletoe tickled your nose each time the bottom of his cock reached your lips.
Clink! Clink! went the bell each time you slid him in and out of your mouth.
He started to whimper and moan quietly, his eyes closed in pleasure. His hand was on the back of your head, gripping your hair tighter the faster you went. At one point he began thrusting into your mouth, probably no longer able to contain himself.
Clink! Clink! ClinkClinkClinkClinkCLINKCLINK
“Mmm!” you mumbled around his cock as the greenery around his member assaulted your face over and over, scratching your nose and cheeks a little bit each time. CLINK.
Your eyes welled with tears as he hit the back of your throat repeatedly. CLINK. At this point you were hardly doing any work, just kneeling there and being used as a vessel. CLINKCLINK
“Satanas you’re going to make me cum like that,” he panted as he continued pushing his hips into your face.
You smiled around him - well as best as you could - and brought him closer by gripping his ass cheeks.
“Ah - cazzo!” he exclaimed, suddenly pulling out of your mouth and panting.
“Terzo?” you asked, trying to look up but you were unable to as his hand remained on your head as he used you to prop himself up and regain composure.
“I can’t cum too soon and ruin the evening, no?” he said, standing up straight and helping you up off the floor. “Not when I haven’t even taken care of you.”
You kissed his laughter lines around his mouth as he spoke, his Papal makeup smudged from your kisses earlier. “You always take such good care of me.”
He turned to face you and held you in an embrace, kissing you passionately again, his hands roaming all over your body. He began to massage your breasts through your costume, building the arousal between your legs even more. Your breathing quickened as you both moaned into each other’s mouths.
“Fuck this fucking blouse,” he said breathlessly, breaking away and tearing at the front of your green cardigan, the buttons flying across his floor - eliciting a ‘Shit!’ from you. “Mmm!” he mumbled, kissing you again, pawing at your chest.
He fumbled around your back at your bra clasp, unhooking it after a couple of tries. You urgently slid the straps off your shoulders and tossed the bra to the floor. He bent down to take your nipple in his mouth, circling his tongue around it and sucking. He alternated, pinching the other one between his fingers.
“Oh Terzo,” you sighed, running your hands through his hair, fiddling with the silver strands peppering his raven hair. He’d never admit to it, but you saw the box dye left on his bathroom counter.
Instinctively you squeezed your legs together, alleviating some of the need to touch yourself. You felt your heart race and a shiver run down your spine.
“Fuck me, please Papa,” you sighed, breath trembling.
“Mm?” he said, glancing up at you between your breasts with a glint in his eyes. He kissed all over your chest, up your neck and finally, your lips. “Is la mia principessa ready for her Papa to fuck her brains out, hm?”
“Yes Papa, please,” you said, still in a breathy whisper. “Fuck me.”
He nodded his head towards the bathroom and glanced over. “Go get a condom and meet me in bed. I’ll get the lube.”
“Why are there none in our nightstand drawer?”
“‘Our?’”
“Shit. You know what I meant.”
He grinned. “Ti stai dimenticando? We used them all last night and I didn’t have time to take some more out.”
Slightly embarrassed at your gaffe, you made your way into the bathroom and started opening drawers. “Where did you put the box?”
“Bottom drawer!” he called out.
Did he think differently of you now? Would he think you were too presumptuous and want to call the whole thing off? Or potentially, were you just overthinking things as usual? “Found it! Oh fuck, shit!”
“Sorella?” He sounded concerned and rushed over to find you on your hands and knees kneeling near the toilet.
“Almost got it!” You had dropped the roll of condom wrappers behind the toilet and had wedged yourself between it and the vanity. “Help me, Terzo!”
“Ah, I see now,” he said slyly. “Call for me in a panic just so you can entrap me.”
“What? Terzo, no, I really do need help, I drop- ”
“Sì, I can help,” he said, kneeling down behind you, his cock right up against your ass.
“It’s just, argh!”
“Argh!” he imitated you, running his hands all along your body.
“It’s right there I can’t - reach - !”
“Has anyone told you how sexy you look with your ass in the air in candy cane tights?”
You rolled your eyes but you knew he couldn’t see. “Er, no - um, thank you. But I dropped the condoms behind the toilet.”
He craned his neck to see. “Ah. This is quite the pickle we are in. You with your hand behind the toilet and your ass against my cock.”
“No, I believe it’s your cock against my ass.”
“What am I to do, tesorina? What should a Papa do when finding his lover in a compromising position, hm?” He leaned down and trailed kisses along your back, momentarily freezing your arm from the continued search of the condoms.
“Fuck…” you whispered, feeling his mouth move further south and his hands finding their way around your waist.
“What’s that, bella? You think Papa should fuck you? You called me in such a panic earlier that I did not bring the lube…mmm, what should we do?” he said, kissing you just above your ass. “Is la mia principessa ready?”
Your body ached with desire. You needed him inside you. He trailed his finger along your tights-covered behind, poking around where your entrance was. “Darling, I think your tights are just a little wet. Let’s see just how wet you are inside.” He gripped the fabric and you heard it ripping apart.
You let out a surprised gasp as the chill air hit your warm, now exposed nether regions. He entered you with a finger and your body shuddered against him as you whimpered quietly.
“Oh yes,” he said in an amused tone. “You are very ready.” He slid out and up to your clit, playing with it gently as you moaned and rocked your body back and forth to feel the friction against his fingers. “So responsive. Una così brava ragazza.”
“Please, Papa,” you said under your accelerated breath. “Please fuck me.”
“Don’t worry amore,” he said, reaching over you and grabbing the sleeve of condoms that you were having trouble getting just moments before. “I will.” He tore off one and ripped it open.
You readjusted yourself on the tile floor so you wouldn’t bang your head against the toilet or the side of the vanity as you heard the crinkle of the wrapper and the clinking of the little bell still attached to his dick.
“Oh FUCK!” you both said in unison as he entered you. He slammed into your dripping cunt with such ease, you felt him bottom out immediately. The tingle of the mistletoe against your clit heightened the sensation.
Clink! Clink! Clink! Clink! In and out, in and out. You both moaned each other’s names in pure, unadulterated passion.
“Ah - merda Sorella, you turn me into a teenager again. Fucking on the floor out of sheer desperation for one another.” Now he was so deep inside you the bell muffled against your body. CLUNK. CLUNK. CLUNK.
“So - mmm! - you’re d-desperate for me?” you said teasingly against the cold tile.
“La mia diavoletta pensa di essere così intelligente, eh? È ora che chiudi la bocca.” With that he fucked into you so hard, so fast, you couldn’t say another word. He pushed your head against the floor roughly, your cheek pressed against the cool marble so hard you could feel the grout indent. He nearly knocked the breath out of you as he hit your g-spot perfectly each time, a relentless grip on the back of your head.
“Ohhh - !” you moaned as he rammed into you over and over. CLUNKCLUNKCLUNKCLUNK. He was thrusting faster, riding out his orgasm, his nails digging deeper into your hips.
“Fuck - I’m going to - cum - Sorella - !” He pounded into you, tapering off his speed as he came, his cock twitching a final time before he slumped over your back, breathing heavily.
“Satanas,” he breathed, his chest heaving wildly as he pulled out, your body shuddering under him at the loss. You heard the snap of latex and the condom hitting the trash can liner.
You turned around and sat down, leaning against the toilet. You watched him untie the mistletoe and take it off, tossing it aside. “So how was it, with that?” you asked, nodding towards the discarded plant.
“Honestly? It was a little itchy. It might just be a novelty.” He tossed himself on his back against the floor. He looked at you, his chest still rising and falling from being out of breath. “How was it for you?”
“Honestly? It was a little itchy,” you repeated. You both smiled and laughed at the absurdity of the situation.
“Come here Sorella, I did not intend to leave you wanting. Hop onto Santa’s lap.”
You crawled over to him and straddled his lap, gazing into his eyes.
“What do you want this year for being such a good little girl?” He asked, caressing your arms and looking at your breasts before flicking his eyes up into yours.
“I want…endless kisses…and a mind-blowing orgasm,” you said, leaning down to kiss him.
He returned the smooch. “Mm, I did not know a present for you would also be a present for me. Come closer and sit on Santa’s face…that’s it, Satanas yes please.”
You moved up his body until you were straddling his face, then delicately lowered your body on him, doing your best to move your skirt out of the way.
He sputtered, spitting out the tulle from his mouth and pulling your hips towards his face again. He batted at the layers of fabric, cursing in Italian, before finding your cunt.
Your eyelids flitted closed as your lips parted in a silent “oh.” He took your clit in his mouth and sucked on it between his lips. He alternated between that and flicking your sensitive bud with the tip of his tongue. You looked down to gaze in his eyes but his face was completely hidden under a green tutu.
You began to buck your hips against his face as he used the flat of his tongue, building up the friction and feeling yourself closing in on orgasm. He switched up and deepened the suction on your clit, flicking his tongue against you simultaneously.
“Oh fuck Terzo - fuck, I’m so close!” You rocked back and forth as you pinched your nipples, heightening the sensation.
His fingernails dug into your hips again as he sped up his ministrations. Grabbing ahold of your waist, he slid you along his mouth faster and faster.
“Oh, Terzo!” you cried out in ecstasy, trembling on your knees above him as you came hard and fast in his mouth. He didn’t let up the motions or the intensity until you pulled away, giggling from the overstimulation. You climbed off of him and sat down next to him, both smiling at one another.
“How are you feeling? Good?” he asked, stroking your thigh.
You nodded your head. “Yes, very. But can I lay down next time? I’ve been on my knees an awful long time.” You both laughed.
“There’s Papa’s little hoe hoe hoe,” he said with a devilish grin. “Of course, amore mio. Anything for you.”
You held onto his hand, playfully caressing all his fingers. “It’s been a very good Christmas so far,” you remarked.
“Mmm. And you haven’t even opened your presents yet.”
“There’s more?”
“What, you thought this was it? No Sorella, go look under the tree.”
You eyed him suspiciously as you stood up, legs still a little shaky. You walked out of the bathroom and into the living room.
You hadn’t noticed the presents under the tree earlier, but there were a few. A lot, actually. Somehow even your gifts for him were under there. One of the ghouls or housekeeping staff must have moved them for you.
One caught your attention - a gold envelope poking out from the middle branches of the tree. You reached inside the tree, accidentally sending the package spilling onto the floor. Two plane tickets splayed out on the floor.
You picked them up in wonder - your name was at the top of one, and his on the other. You walked in a daze over to him.
“You did not truly think I would leave you with just my cock for Christmas, did you?” he said, following you out of the bathroom and now leaning against the wall. “I love you, principessa. I call you princess because to me you are. My sweet little thing. I want to give you the world, my world…would Italy be a good start?”
You flung your arms around him, tears in your eyes. “Yes, Terzo. I think that will be an amazing start.”
[Stay tuned for a continuation of this story!]
Italian to English Translations
(la mia) principessa ((my) princess)
tesorina (little treasure/darling)
amore (mio) ((my) love)
cazzo (fuck)
Stai zitto (Shut up)
Ti stai dimenticando? (Are you forgetting?)
Sorella (Sister/nun)
bella (beautiful)
Una così brava ragazza. (Such a good girl.)
merda (shit)
La mia diavoletta pensa di essere così intelligente, eh? È ora che chiudi la bocca. (My little devil girl thinks she’s so smart, eh? It’s time you shut your mouth.)
Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in any of my future works!
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mew-ya · 1 year ago
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hello everyone! i'm proud to share my halloween-themed fic for raven's (@swampstew) event, where writers all incorporated a costume + a character into a fic! at the end of the month on October 29th, there will be a vote to see who wins the costume contest! check out the other fics and get ready to vote when the time comes!
character: Charlotte Katakuri
warnings/notes: no warnings (SFW fic), so fluffy it hurts, non-gendered reader, gender neutral reader, reader is average human sized
length: 4,016 words
summary: Your employer, Charlotte Cracker, Minister of Biscuits, gives you a last-minute invite to the Charlotte family's yearly Halloween party. As a newer resident of Totto Land, you'd not yet been to one of the Charlotte family's reputed parties, so your curiosity led you to the foot of Whole Cake Island on the night of Halloween.
You’d heard the Charlotte family threw a party for every occasion. And based on your arrival at the foot of the great Whole Cake Island, Halloween was certainly no exception. Hosted by Big Mom herself, every candied and frosted structure was painstakingly decorated by Streusen and his team of chefs. The cakes lining the horizon were decorated in the colors black, orange, red. Creepily smiling bats, balloons in deep red, and cotton candy clouds of a deep blue filled the darkening sky, contrasted brightly against the orange sunset. Fake blood oozed from the frosted fences lining the cracker-laden paths that led you to the delicious town of Sweet City. The singing, dancing homies you’d grown accustomed to seeing were eerily silent, silence a rare and disturbing thing in the archipelago you’d come to reside in. You spotted a few homies who took the shape of gravestones, attracted by the only sound in the whole area beyond the plodding footsteps of other partygoers. The gravestone homies sang a dark dirge as they sullenly watched a shovel homie dig up a fresh grave. Even the juice river had been dyed red to look like blood, deep red reflecting on the horrible grins of the trees peering from the edge of the Seducing Woods.
Having once glimpsed the true darkness of Totto Land, you couldn’t help but wonder if its morbid, Halloween-themed makeover was the truest reflection of its nature. Memories flashed back to your initial arrival to the archipelago. You watched the man in front of you die as Big Mom’s Incarnation swiped the final months of his life as payment for his residency. Vivid memories of him collapsing to the floor with a final breath danced in your brain, followed by the hollow smile of the creature with its white glowing eyes. The creature you’d come to pay twice a year for your ability to live here.
You shuddered at the thought, shaking away the uncomfortable memories. You’d lived here for about 3 months, happily, but saw the hints of darkness creeping behind the picturesque frame of the candy-encrusted landscape…
--
Inside Whole Cake Chateau, the highest of extravagance was on full display. The smell as you stepped inside the massive cake building was perhaps the most memorable—powerful, luscious notes of candy corn, lollipops, gumdrops, marshmallow, chocolate all tickled your nose in unison yet each distinct. The large buffet table to your right was a mountain of confections modeled after zombie parts, skeletons, bat wings. The serving dishes were massive and well-stocked, an army of chefs and rook knights replacing every calorie taken from the table with finesse and speed. To your center, a red velvet chocolate fountain so large that it rivaled an Olympic swimming pool. Guests dotted every corner of the ballroom to your left, dressed from head-to-toe in expensive costumes of classic horror creatures, characters from the latest trends, jokes, and other displays of amazement and fantasy.
You recognized some of the partygoers, primarily from your work as a baker in the cracker bakery housed on Biscuits Island. Visitors from across the entire archipelago came to your workplace to place orders for customized cracker flooring—the area’s edible replacement for tile flooring. While most often you’d seen the Charlotte family’s aides and assistants placing orders at your workplace, some of them preferred to complete the work themselves. Charlotte Katakuri was one of them—an ominous figure he painted against the colorful showroom, tall, dark and quiet. But his attention to detail and patience with ordering the perfect set of cracker floors for each of his projects made you come to realize that there was more than meets the eye with him. He was a figure that intrigued you more than you’d care to admit, but you’d only ever seen him in a work setting. He was a person that you looked forward to seeing, though you held your feelings about him deep within—he seemed too perfect, too unobtainable.
Until today. The most extravagantly dressed you recognized as members of the Charlotte family, who were both the children of the land’s queen as well as its appointed politicians. Charlotte Smoothie stood out immediately, tall as ever, effervescent in a red and blue princely outfit, epaulets encrusted with rhinestones and a beautifully detailed sword laying at her hip, her hair in a low ponytail like a fairytale prince. Charlotte Compote was next to her in a vampiress costume, signature bowl hat filled with a deep red liquid like blood, hair adorned in a slick black wig, fangs poking from red lips, and a beautiful blood red gown, and they appeared to be discussing the décor in detail. Young children in a rainbow assortment of costumes swarmed around their feet, and given their appearances, you could only assume those were younger Charlotte children as they ran in circles at Compote’s feet. From a distance, you spotted a tall figure dressed as Frankenstein’s Monster chatting with a woman dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein, though most of their outfits were obscured by the crowd.
As you approached Compote, another regular of your cracker establishment, you heard Smoothie call out: “Katakuri!” and the Frankenstein’s Monster turned his head. You immediately saw that Katakuri’s skin was painted a pale green that made his pink hair, irises, and tattoo pop in contrast. Steel bolts were attached to each side of his head, and his mouth was covered, as usual, by a scarf, although this one was tattered and worn to fit the outfit. Before she could say anymore, Katakuri was there, crouching down and saying something to the children with a gentle, yet stern look in the eyes peering above his tattered scarf. The way they stopped and listened to him so intently was telling of their respect for him—could these be his own children? Ah, well. After he spoke to them, they became quiet and orderly, walking single file towards the pink candy spiral staircase leading up to the second floor. The woman dressed as his bride showed up behind him, cooing, “Oh Katakuri—you’re always so good with them.” With a nod of acknowledgement, he stood back up silently, and noticed you standing 15 feet from them, staring directly at him. He looked at you up and down, and blinked.
“You’re the one from Cracker’s bakery,” he uttered at you with the gentlest hint of a furrow in his brow. The woman dressed as Frankenstein’s Bride next to him grimaced, the wrinkles in her face scrunching to her brow as she failed to hide her frustration. You felt an ounce of hostility from her, and wondered if she had somehow noticed your fascination with Katakuri…
You nodded coyly in response and approached the group of large individuals, but before you could try to politely continue the conversation, you felt a smack on the flat of your back. A large figure leaned in next to you, grin penetrating a hole in the side of your face. “You made it! I’m so glad,” Cracker exclaimed a little too loudly in your ear.
Smoothie groaned, “speak of the devil…” and Cracker gave her a smirk as he acknowledged his siblings standing before him in a circle on the ballroom floor. You noticed Cracker wore a bordering childish lion costume with a mane created from craft paper. Compared to the other costumes, it didn’t make sense to you until you saw him later on in the evening next to the rest of the Wizard of Oz cast…Mont-d’Or in a scarecrow costume, Moscato in a tin man costume, and Poire in an adorable and well-crafted Dorothy costume. You had learned their names because they all stood together in a line to be judged at the costume contest you watched later in the evening.
The siblings bantered around you, discussing each others’ outfits, nearly forgetting you standing there, small in stature and already quiet to begin with. You craned your neck to follow the conversation going on in the air above you.
It struck you as a bit odd that Cracker invited you, one of many employees of his, to this party. There was no one else from your workplace you recognized. On top of that, the Charlotte family all in a single room was a party entirely on its own, without any need for additional guests. This party appeared to be much the same, thick with Charlotte blood, common folk mostly appearing in (Halloween-themed) serving garb, some friends and in-laws dotted between the unusual shapes and sizes of the Charlottes.
--
You mostly enjoyed yourself throughout the party, learning everyone’s names and becoming more familiar with Cracker’s close siblings. The woman Katakuri was with was named Brulee, though you spent most of the night averting your eyes from them, feeling awkward for having ever had a crush on him. Of course he had a wife, or a girlfriend, or whoever she was.
Instead, you paid attention to the costume contest put on by Perosperos and Charlotte Linlin. The contest’s comically large scroll full of rules that’d been penned throughout the years of their lives together as siblings was read through at the very beginning like a very boring educational speech. Poire explained to you that it basically boiled down to: “make your costume yourself, don’t use devil fruits, and anyone discovered cheating on either of those rules would be banned from participating in the costume contest forever.” After learning that, your eyes opened to the absolute craftsmanship of this family’s dedicated costumers. Even the worst costumes such as Cracker’s childish lion seemed less bad after considering the amount of work he had spent at a craft table, hot gluing whiskers to his hand-sewn furry hood.
You had come wearing a mummy costume, but it was store bought and nothing special. Just something cobbled together last minute in preparation for the party, so you had no reason to enter the contest.
There was no real prize beyond the ability to brag—but bragging rights were an incredibly important prize to the Charlottes, and doubly so when a party was involved. Even a cool woman such as Smoothie was swayed by its power, giving her all to craft the most beautifully detailed prince costume this year in the hopes of winning. A teenaged girl named Flampe was swarmed with chess knights all dressed up in the theme of her costume: a musician with all of her adoring fans. You weren’t really sure what popstar she was supposed to be—her skin was painted like a skeleton, hair curled densely, a large crown upon her head, heart shaped sunglasses resting on her head with an orange feather boa around her shoulders. She held a green guitar shaped like a shark that she never actually tried to play. Given how nearly everyone in the room watched her entrance and participation on the stage, you guessed it was someone famous.
Later on in the event, you noted that Katakuri and Brulee joined as a team with their matching Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein outfits. You wouldn’t have pegged Katakuri as the type to want bragging rights for anything, but the crowd’s response to them was incredible—for Katakuri in particular. Oven noticed your surprise. He leaned down to you and explained, “he’s been voted the most popular brother, after all. He’s cool, perfect, and utterly undefeated in battle.”
In the end, the costume contest voting boiled down into a popularity contest, as things so often do within the family’s politics. Charlotte Linlin, dressed in the most expensive and extravagant Queen costume, sat at the large chair behind the judge’s table and laughed her signature “mama-mama” when she counted the results. Flampe’s skeleton musician-themed group was the winner and she accepted the honor with the smallest amount of grace, followed by Katakuri and Brulee’s Frankenstein pair in second.
--
The party came to a close, its music dying down, the youngest children all retired to bed or gone home. You’d been invited upstairs into one of the many candy-rococo rooms in the upper echelons of the Whole Cake Chateau by Cracker, and sat on the floor with a grouping of older Charlottes and friends sitting in a circle, all laughing and chatting. Katakuri and the woman he was with were there.
You’d chosen dare. A bottle was spun in the middle of the group. Whoever it landed on would be the second player of 7 Minutes in Heaven—a game typically played by hormone-ridden teens looking to make out in a closet. But you were adults, joking around. You’d been recruited as the first player in a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven, which made you feel a bit uncomfortable—this was a party your boss invited you to, after all. You weren't usually a dare person either, but you’d never gotten to play spin the bottle growing up, so you figured why not. The gentle haze of an alcoholic beverage helped, too.
The bottle stopped. Of all the people in the circle, it pointed at Charlotte Katakuri. Brulee looked uncomfortable, but didn’t say anything—why would a married couple play this game? You thought to yourself. But in the single night you knew him, Perosperos was the one making up the rules, and he was a stickler for those.  You decided not to protest. Maybe you’d stand silently in the closet for 7 minutes with the perfectly terrifying Katakuri as he gazed down upon you in the darkness.
Words were exchanged, and you were both sent to the closet for 7 minutes of heaven.
You entered the dark closet, shuffling in and out of a multitude of large dresses belonging to Charlotte Linlin, the fabric nearly engulfing you. The door shut behind you both, and a voice rang out, “timer starts now! Don’t get too naughty, you two!” followed by Brulee’s audible groan.
You heard Katakuri audibly gulp above you. The feelings of shock and nervousness had blinded you to his expressions, so now that you were smashed together in the dark, you had absolutely no read on him whatsoever.
So you quietly asked, “Katakuri…?”
“Yes,” he answered.
“Why did you—aren’t you married? Isn’t this weird?” but you were interrupted by a large gloved hand on your shoulder, sending a wave of nervousness in a whirlwind through your body.
“I am not married,” he responded, simply.
You gulped, biting your lip.
“But, Brulee…?” you responded in your head, but the words didn’t come out. Somehow, he heard you anyway.
“Brulee is my sister. She likes scary movies a lot, so we dressed up for the contest.” He changed the subject. “I think your costume is nice,” he gestured, withdrawing his hand on your shoulder to touch the fabric with a respectful tap of his finger, unable to point in the darkness.
“Wait, then whose kids were—well...Okay. Thank you,” and you laughed a little as you went along with him. “If you’re wondering, I didn’t make it. The mummy wraps came pre-stained.”
“Oh?”
“I didn’t know you guys had all these rules. Hell, I didn’t even know there was a contest. I just grabbed something from one of the shops last minute. You did such a great job on your costume, I feel embarrassed for you to even have to look at me! Cracker didn’t even tell me about this party until the day before.”
Katakuri sighed. “Sorry.”
“What’re you apologizing for?”
“He invited you because of me.”
You didn’t understand what he meant. Katakuri continued.
“I…mentioned you once...” That revelation piqued your interest. He talked about you? Why?
Katakuri shifted his weight from one foot to another, causing some of the dresses around you to move. “Because I thought you were…cute.” The words choked out of him, you could almost feel the heat of his blushing cheeks radiating from above you as he spoke. He cleared his throat.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
An awkward silence filled the closet—he’d stunned you twice in a row, first with the truth about his relationship status, and second, that he’d requited your attraction. What to do?
Katakuri cleared his throat again, uncomfortable and trapped in a closet with his head nearly touching the ceiling, stuffed awkwardly against the shelf with the person he’d just admitted he liked. You wanted to respect his request to drop the subject, so you didn’t push it.
Following his earlier lead, you offered a compliment. “I like your costume too.” You lightly touched the thick canvas fabric of his baggy pants where they tucked into his heavy platform boots, outlining a patch stitched with wide embroidery thread. “You really made all this yourself?”
The leg under your hand shifted in its pants as Katakuri kneeled before you, pushing Big Mom’s hanging clothes surrounding you out of the way by sheer size of his frame. A protective arm rested on the floor next to you, and he uttered, “Yes. The rules are very explicit. You can incorporate basic, store-bought items such as shirts, pants, but they must be modified in some tangible way.”
“Is it okay if I touch?” you asked, not wanting to be too presumptuous. You continued, “I didn’t have much of a chance to look at your costume too closely, but it must be good if you won second place.”
“I worked hard on it, but I am not sure it was deserving of second place. You’re welcome to touch it.” The air felt less thick between you as the awkwardness simmered into a cool comfort.
You explored the details of his costume in the darkness, your hands small against the 16’ man’s frame. The large arm resting on the ground next to you was adorned in the sleeve of a thick blazer, artificially weathered by his own hands, its threads exposed and rough with rips and tears near the seams. Thickly woven patches were sewn into his entire suit using embroidery thread. The blazer was opened at the center to reveal his shirtless chest, and although you couldn’t feel it, you remembered how his skin had been carefully painted green around the pink tattoos, and how the juxtaposition of those two colors created such a bright and engaging contrast on his skin.
“Did you sew the patches with a machine? The detailing feels so even,” you asked as you felt the perfectly squared stitching, betraying the imperfect nature of the Frankenstein Monster.
“I sewed all of the modifications by hand, though the jacket and pants were something I had already owned. Have a couple of injuries on my fingers to prove it.” Katakuri replied as he twisted his wrist, opening his palm next to you.
“You? Injuries? One of your brothers told me you were undefeated. To think you’d been bested by a needle and thread…” Reaching down to his hand, you ran yours against his palm to the ends of his fingertips. He let out the lightest flinch when your hand pressed against a small needle injury at the end of his pointer finger.
“How the mighty fall,” he answered with a spark of amusement.
Resolving not to waste this private moment, he made a move.
Katakuri wrapped his hand around yours, and with the softest motion, pulled you in towards his body as he leaned his head down. You were close enough to him to feel the warmth radiating from his core. You swore you smelled a hint of fried dough. The ruggedly tattered scarf wrapped around his lower face tickled your skin as electricity grew between you and the seconds stretched into what felt like minutes. You were so close that you felt his breath on your nose, but the scarf stayed put as a barrier between you. You looked into the eyes you couldn’t see in the darkness, and yearned for the touch of his lips against yours.
Both yourself and Katakuri imagined the feel of each others’ lips pressed against skin, the taste, the touch, the smell—although you had no idea what his mouth looked like. He always covered it, so your imagination ran wild in the dark. You kissed the scarred and torn lips of the face you imagined in your head, then you kissed a mouth with sharp teeth so pointed that your own lips were cut in the process. Maybe he had big cute buck teeth under there that stuck through a pair of swollen lips. You kissed that too. Your imagination ran through the possibilities like a rolodex, and each was good, wonderous, and electric.
Meanwhile, Katakuri’s rolodex of imagined scenarios was not so idyllic. He imagined the multitude of ways in which you’d reject him, how you’d take his scarf from him and embarrass him, how you’d reveal the secret of his mouth to the entire world, painting a target on the backs of all his siblings. He remembered all of his past relationship failures, and most of all, he remembered the great bloody wound across his sister Brulee’s face as he stood there powerlessly. He froze.
The hesitation began to hang thick in the air like a fog, and you were nearly able to feel the discomfort circulating from his body. You weren’t sure what changed. Time had been dilating and you wondered how much longer the 7 minutes would last.
You took your chance.
You grasped his hand which held yours so gently but stiffly, and pulled it close enough to plant a sweet kiss upon the top of his painted knuckle. Underneath your lips, his body notably relaxed. The gesture brought him back to reality.
Katakuri’s eyes glinted with the color of the future, where he saw the moment the door opened to light, just moments away. In a flash, he pulled your hand through his scarf to his lips and returned the kiss so quickly that you could hardly process what might be under there by feel. He then stood straight up and gave you both a once over that lasted no more than a single second, any hair or mummy wrapping out of place put in its proper configuration by the quickest swipe of his finger. As if nothing had happened.
The door opened.
His siblings joked, poked, prodded, and laughed at what they thought may or may not had happened between the two of you. He spent the rest of the night avoiding your eyes, as if nothing had happened. Eventually, his siblings dropped the subject. Deep down, they were rooting for Katakuri—most of the older Charlotte children had already been married, through virtue (or iniquity) of arranged marriage. But perhaps the strongest and most perfect Charlotte, intentionally held from the world of political marriage, would be allowed to pick his own partner.
The party moved on. Other games were played, other topics broached, other siblings bullied and jested and the family was having a great time. Katakuri thought he’d gotten away with keeping up his perfect illusion that he’d kept his distance during the closet game, but sometime later, his eyes widened at you like plates, face turning red under his scarf, burning through the green face paint. He observed his hand and saw a hardly noticeable kiss mark on his knuckle. It’s already too late, he thought to himself.
Seconds later, Cracker’s burst of laughter turned the entire room to your face.
“Hold on, hold on! Your lips are GREEN!”
“GREEN?!”
“What did those two get up to…?”
“Katakuri! You DOG!”
Brulee looked concerned and attempted to play interference by standing between you and Katakuri to block the line of sight. She’d grown to be very protective of him, knowing that his hidden heart was kind and undeserving of the expectations those had thrust upon him. While she knew he was truly not the perfect being the world had decided him to be, she would do anything to help him protect that because it is what he had chose.
Despite Brulee getting in the center of it, the chatter raged on, the rumors spread, and you gained some kind of reputation. Your eyes met Katakuri’s as he leaned over Brulee to look at you. You furrowed your brows at each other.
The start of a beautiful relationship…
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 8 months ago
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Whisked Away 2
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Part of the Sweet and Spicy AU
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You get a job at a bakery but your new boss only adds to your work
Character: chubby!baker!Thor
Please comment and reblog if it’s not too much. I always love getting to chat about these stories and hearing all your ideas! You all are wonderful and loved.
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Delaney wishes you good luck as you go. Your heart is fluttery with nerves. It’s been a while since you actually had an interview. These days, most send you a link where you record yourself answering generalised questions. You never do well at those. In fact, you’d only ever had one job.  
You worked at a cafe in high school and after you went and got your culinary schooling done, you were promoted. It held you through the first few years of your twenties until Delaney got sick and you had to move to the city for her treatment. Your squirreled away savings got you the apartment and her stipend helped, but you’re running dry on credit. 
You need this. Desperately. But you can’t show that if you want it. You have to play it cool. Be a professional. 
You catch a streetcar down to the main row and check your phone. You’re well ahead of time. Good. You’ve never been to this particular place. You don’t go out much if it isn’t to the grocery store or the pharmacy. Delaney stopped wanting to go outside a while back. You try to encourage her but you can tell it only makes her feel worse. 
You follow the map directions on the app and stop before the cafe windows. They’re slightly tinted with curling golden calligraphy painted across them; Golden Crust. The facade is brown and yellow brick and there are flower boxes just below the windows. Behind the glass, loaves of bread lines a shelf, on display to tempt passerbys. 
The door is wide and thick and painted red. You push inside and pause to look around. The long counter is made of dark wood with clear glass cases on top containing dozens of colourful and sugary desserts. Behind the counter, the walls are lined with shelves; some ingredients, some with unfolded boxes, and more bread and packaged biscuits to go. It’s all finely organized. 
Lights hang above with brass shades, lending a low hue to the shop. Several customers wait in queue as two employees work tills at opposite ends of the counter. You don’t know whether you should join the wait or go ahead and let them know that you’re there to see Thor for an interview. That was his name, right? 
You look at your phone again. You have time. You wouldn’t want to be rude. You adjust your bag and stand at the end of the line. The women ahead of you marvel at the pristine mini white chocolate cakes with dark candied cherries on top as another whispers about cheesecake being devilish. Your own eyes wander gluttonously to the assortment. 
You peel away your gaze and look down at yourself. You put together the best you could; a striped blouse, navy blue on white, and a pair of straight-legged pants. They’re a bit outdated but professional at a glance. You hope no one notices the scuff on your right toe. 
You get to the front of the line and step up. The young girl behind the till asks what you’d like. You give an apologetic smile, “um, actually, I’ve got an interview.” 
“Ah, yes, another one for Thor,” she chimes, “well, you just come with me.” 
She’s young. Still a teenager. Her and the other cashier look to be barely graduated if that. 
She walks toward the end of the counter and she beckons you over, “I’m Thrud,” she pulls back the short little door for you to step through, “that’s Nari,” she gestures to the dark-haired worker at the other till. He’s too busy taking orders to notice. 
You introduce yourself as she takes you around to a doorway, “I think he’s just doing these in the kitchen. Last one ended early so...” she talks brightly as she bounds ahead of you like a happy puppy, “dad?” She calls as she enters the large kitchen. “Dad? I’ve got the next appointment.” 
Your anxiety spikes. You’re not the first or the last. The competition deflates your hopes even further. 
“Eh?” A deep grunt comes as head pops up from the other side of the large marble island. The man is so large his head hits one of the pans dangling from the ceiling rack. He rubs his brow and hisses, “sorry, I was just looking for my pen.” 
Thrud laughs as she crosses her arms. You notice the golden pen tucked behind his ear. She raises a hand, keeping her other arm folded, as she taps her temple. His brows arch and he feels around his wave locks and fishes out the pen. 
“Right,” he gives a sheepish look and wiggles it in triumph. 
“Anyhoo,” Thrud trills, “this is her.” 
“Thank you, Thrud,” he drones back. 
“Mhmm,” she turns and smiles at you again before she goes. 
“Uh,” you hesitate, unsure how to begin, “er,” you introduce yourself, once more “I have a resume on hand--” 
“No need,” he waves you off, “come, I try to keep these things straight to the point.” 
You near him and rest your hand on your bag, chewing your lip. 
“Wash your hands,” he directs you towards the sink, “you may put your things there.” He points to the empty counter on the other side of the deep metal sink. You put your bag there and scour your hands deliberately, taking your time as you scrub nails, knuckles, palms, every bit. You dry off on the towel he offers as you face him. 
“Here,” he gives you and apron, “would want you to make a mess. 
You tie on the apron as he turns and grabs a tray. There are half a dozen cookies on the sheet, some empty piping bags, nozzles, a bowl of icing and small tubes of food dye. You look between him and the cookies. 
“You may choose the design. You will decorate and I will ask questions, does that work for you?” 
“Um, sure,” you answer. It’s unexpected. “All six?” 
“All six,” he confirms and crosses his arms, making himself even broader. He is not only tall, but wide, and his apron does little to conceal his indulgence in sweets that gathers around his middle. 
“Okay,” you accept the challenge meekly. 
You step up to the marble island and take a moment. You twiddle your fingers nervously as you think. You don’t know what to do. You don’t want to go to simple. 
“Take your time, I’ll ask some questions and you can begin whenever you’re ready,” he assures, “so, you’re availability, it is flexibly? Our open ours are eight to six, but you are available on weekends?” 
“Yes,” you say as you set an idea in your head and read for the icing. You stir it with the wooden spoon, testing its consistency. “I have open availability most days.” 
“Most days?” He echoes. 
“Um, yes, I may have an appointment now and again.” 
“Oh, appointment?” 
“For my sister,” you explain, “but it wouldn’t get in the way, I'm sure.” 
You cringe. You’re already making yourself feel bad. 
“And so, you’ve had one previous role, what was included in that?” he asks. 
Only one... that can’t be good on paper. 
“I worked at a cafe. I was a barista for the first two years, then I was promoted to baker, and ended as assistant manager at the branch,” you explain as you fill one of the piping pages and fit the appropriate tip, “but I completed by culinary diploma while I was there.” 
“And after? What did you do? I see you’ve been out of work.” 
You’re quite as you lean over the cookies and start on the first one. Your idea is simple in premise but not in execution. Delaney loves to do cross-stitches, so that’s what you’ll do. First, the white grid and the lacing along the edges, then you’ll fill in the squares with all different colours to make the illusion of stitches. 
“I’ve been a caretaker to my sister,” you say quietly, “we only just moved here last year so I haven’t found much.” 
“And you would be able to work fulltime?” He asks. 
“Yes, she’s... she’s doing better now. I can do it,” you assure him as you keep your eyes on your precise lines. 
He’s quiet. You’re sweating. You just concentrate on the work. Maybe your answers aren’t the best but you hope your work is. You finish the crosshatching and look up. You find him watching your hands intently. As you pause, his blue eyes meet yours. He gives a smile. 
“Ha,” he scoffs, “my hands are too big.” He shows his thick fingers, “I can’t quiet get my lines that tight.” 
You nod and bow your head again. You’re not even done the first cookie. You have six to prove yourself. Six cookies to seal your fate. 
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halloweenacara · 2 months ago
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everyone so far! names & info under the cut
aske - halloween acara, he/they - horror artist & author, kinda the main character. he writes a horror-comedy comic, but his most famous work is a series of intense horror novels published under a pseudonym. he's secretly a huge scaredy-cat- unfortunate, given his housemates.
flora - mutant aisha, she/her - baker & activist. she runs a little bakery in the haunted woods that only employs other mutants. she's sweet as sugar, but you don't want to be on her bad side.
fossil - tyrannian elephante, he/him - anthropologist, museum curator, technically undead. he was found in a glacier on the border between tyrannia and terror mountain & revived. now, he has a special interest in tyrannian history, spending more time in the field than behind a desk. he will talk your ear off.
mu - burlap kau, he/they - fiber artist, gardener, ex-scarecrow. he used to live in a farm north of the haunted woods, then took himself off his stick and ran away. he sewed his legs himself, as he didn't have any originally, and has to fix them often. makes a lot of crochet plushies and blankets- stark contrast to the manor's otherwise spooky vibe.
pup - toy poogle, they/she - midi musician, streamer, sapient robot. they speak almost exclusively in internet memes and audio clips. she has a vast collection of expression stickers, one for every mood. recently, they've been visiting veknir's workshop every night…
maxie - ghost cybunny, she/her - tour guide/scam artist. she offers tours of the manor, even installing a little gift shop in the foyer. most of the 'haunted features' on the tour are fake. even if the others wanted her to leave (frankly, she's a rude, self-serving conwoman), she couldn't- she died in the manor. every time someone asks how she died she gives them a different story.
veknir - speckled grundo, he/him - alien, scientist, engineer. he keeps the manor running- repairing old appliances, fixing broken railing. of course, he did blow up the microwave trying to improve it. he crash-landed in the courtyard while fleeing someone and set up a workshop/lab in the basement. who knows what he gets up to down there? do we want to know?
alder - shadow skeith, she/her - groundskeeper. an intense individual, to say the least. she's been with the manor longer than anyone can recall. she mostly keeps to herself- she lives in a small cabin on the edge of the courtyard. she spends her time meticulously cleaning the tombstones, or lurking in the yard in the midst of heavy rain. aske is terrified of her.
rory - chocolate/halloween bori, he/it - some variety of candy-based creature. he only joined the group recently- previously he was known as the thing that howls and roars just past the fence line. he smells like candy corn and hot cocoa- apart from the bones, of course. those smell like death.
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