#char:gordon

[hlvraiarcade]

Gordon narrowly grabs Benrey’s arm, and just as Benrey reaches Benrey’s other arm out of the game-

Half-Life is unplugged.

[hlvraiarcade]

Nye? self-shipping with Gordos Feetman? It's more likely than you'd think. -🍳🥓

I’m not self-shipping. I just admire Gordon Freeman. Platonically. Slash P. You know?

Nye inserts a quarter, and the game boots up.

Gordon. IfYou’reASelf-AwareVideoGameCharacterSayWhat!

Wh-

What?

HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

[hlvraiarcade]

-and that’s the interesting part! 

Are you following?

Not exactly, no...

man i TOTALLY get it. i love the way you explain cat in the hat lore. you should do it more often

... I was talking about Supernatural?

[hlvraiarcade]

did you know that destiel are homophobic in german

... What?

Benrey sits on a ledge, kicking Benrey’s feet and rocking back and forth.

i totally agree with that part about the hat. why IS it so stripey? is there a reason? why red and white? is there something behind that? do you think the red represents the cat’s internalized anger? i bet it does. wouldn’t you be angry if you had to babysit for free?

is that even really the plot? it’s been so long since i’ve read it. also what the fuck are the THINGS. they’re just called things. why are they like that? i like their hair though. reminds me of uhhh einstein. you know that guy? yeah i know about him. met him. yeah. i’m superrrrrr tight with him. we’re good buddies.

but i bet YOU haven’t mean einstein. i bet you haven’t. nuh-uh. wanna know why? only cool motherfuckers meet einstein. and you’re not a cool motherfucker, you’re a cool bitch. there is a very clear difference there.

[hlvraiarcade]

Well, hello there! Who might you be, Mr. Gordon Freeman?

I’m Gor-

...

[hlvraiarcade]

So! We’re here. Uh, anything you wanna see?

I just wanna make sure you’re not gonna kick my ass like Coomer.

Nope!

... Boof?

[hlvraiarcade]

bubby my ideal concert is dr feelgood on repeat for three hours

I’m your bitch! Shall we get started?

Yes, we shall!

Let’s gooo.

Forzen sets down her boombox. You will not see it. There are no sprites of zem without it.

Well. This should be fun.

[hlvraiarcade]

No- no, that’s a horrible idea!

MAYBE YOU’RE A HORRIBLE IDEA

[hlvraiarcade]

Hi Gordon, shits gone down since last night

What’s-

What’s going on? Why does Nye know we-

OKAY SO-

Nye quiets down after realizing they’re yelling.

So the one in Polybius was talking to me and I was like “woah, is the cabinet talking to me?” and the cabinet was talking to me and then we got- what- what are... Pronouns.

Aha, uh, just say Benrey. Benrey doesn’t use pronouns.

OKAY! So then we got Benrey out of the cabinet in the USB I just plugged into your cabinet so Benrey can get into your machine! 

Oh, oh. Sorry, gotta circle back.

... Polybius is getting unplugged, so Benrey needed a way out. This is what we thought of, since Benrey looks like a guard anyways.

[hlvraiarcade]

Have you told gordon you kin them yet-pog

ahaha drop the kinlist

I don’t think I will!

... Is this hell? Is hell THIS incomprehensible?

[hlvraiarcade]

Other than Gordon, what’s the horrible idea? 🔥

GORDON IS THE BIGGEST WORST HORRIBLE IDEA AND STUPID AND ANNOYING AND NOT LISTENING

Benrey still thinks we should all go to the internet instead of staying safe in our cabinets.

[hlvraiarcade]

Darnold peers out the front of the cabinet through the glass - the sun is rising.

We should all probably be getting back to our own cabinets, huh?

Huh! Guess so.

Woah, wait - can I see you guys again?

... Tomorrow night?

EVERY night!

So, in short, yes! Tomorrow night.

See you tomorrow, dudes!

Okay, yeah! 

You guys... Kind of make it feel like home.

See you tomorrow night!

One by one, the others head back to their games, leaving Gordon standing alone with Benrey in Polybius.

[hlvraiarcade]

That is not a house -pog

who do you think you are? coming into my home? insulting MY casa?

... Woah.

[hlvraiarcade]

so obviously i know where we’re going. so i came prepared

you know what they say about an apple a day

Benrey takes an obnoxiously loud bite out of the apple.

Benrey. What?

... Who is “they”? What are they saying?

Where did you get-

Is that from my cabinet???

My apple is of zero concern to you or anybody you know.

Does that saying count if Darnold doesn’t actually have a doctorate?

[hlvraiarcade]

Psssst hey Benrey, what if we just took a little peak at the internet. Just for a minute or two to see what it was like... it wouldn’t hurt anyone to just look -🐇

couldn’t do any harm u know

Benrey, no.

BUT GORDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[hlvraiarcade]

So - that's three for stay, two for go. Everyone else?

Benrey reaches over and grabs the apple.

i am BAFFLED darnold was able to hold this. it’s supposed to keep him away and clearly isn’t doing it’s job. anyways! 

i think we should go because staying in our cabinets is stupid and unfair. i dont even HAVE a cabinet. how is this fair to me? at all? in the slightest? huh?

anyways that’s everyone and it’s a tie so i think we should listen to my idea-

Gordon takes the apple.

I-

... I think we should stay because I just started getting used to this. Because I went from one big change to another and I’m not ready for another big one, but- but going back to the way things were would be easier for me than another whole new thing.

I-.

I see where you’re coming from, but, I can’t do another big thing just yet.

I’m not ready to do another big thing.