#chanukah ratings

[koshercosplay]

alrighty folks buckle up for the fifth year of menorabilia ratings! I've scoured the internet (and my eyeballs) so get ready for the best and worst chanukah merchandise of the year

okay first I just need to get these fuckin gnomes out of the way. ideally permanently. this guy's hat has so much going on I don't know where to begin. the menorah? not kosher. also wrong. the dreidels? certainly have,,, something written on them. everyone knows reindeer love chanukah, the lighting fires holiday. 5/10 at least it's got SOMEWHAT of a cuteness factor

turning old CDs into fake sufganiyot is certainly creative bc that's the only explanation for those monstrosities that I'll accept. please don't spin your spontaneous combustion menorahs on top of your dreidels. it won't bring the next season any faster. 4/10 I'll put up with a lot if you're offering to pay for my netflix account

they are Setting That Torah On Fire. is that why there's an oil jug next to a candle menorah. 6/10 the פ instead of a ש‎ on the dreidel is because the miracle is just the torah not bursting into flames

this really puts the messy in messianic. it's got the wrong amount of branches. why is the shamash just two stacked cups. the cross looks like an airplane. oh god it also has the jesus fish. -76162802492/10 never knew a single image could contain so much No.

some of these menorahs are kosher and some are not which really spices things up. what a fun little game of I spy for me. I enjoy the addition of various happy animals celebrating chanukah but were the santa hats really necessary? 7/10 that bottom dreidel has two נ‎s. none dreidel with left coins.

I can acknowledge that it's an attempt to jewish-ize a christmas thing but tinsel is, unfortunately, occasionally, pretty. weird choice to have all the menorahs have נ‎s but sure. what's that? those are dreidels? wrong. take a look at the helpful next image of this item.

do you see it yet? here let me help.

clearly those are menorahs. we light them on fire and spin them as fast as we can. first one to die loses. 5/10 google is your friend

move over fiddler on the roof chassidim with bottle balancing skills, here come some cats with impressive candle dexterity. this may not be a kosher menorah but their TAILS are the BRANCHES. 7/10 I am easily won over by the presence of cats okay

canon jewish representation, a spinning dreidel, a kosher menorah, some chocolate gelt, and they're eating fresh latkes. I needed these yesterday. 10/10 rugrats my beloved never lets me down

(previous years 1, 2, 3, 4)

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

rating different ways that characters are generally revealed to be jewish in tv and movies made by (mostly) goyim:

B'nei mitzvah mention: 3/10, points taken off for laziness. kept some because it's an important event so I get why it's used

B'nei mitzvah scene: 8/10, can either be really good or really bad depending how accurate. honestly ranges from a 5/10-11/10

Chanukkah mention: 0/10, im so tired of this one its so overdone and it's always in the christmas specials. it can be done right but like that's only if jews are writing the scene

Pesach mention: 4/10, definitely a better holiday to use than chanukah because it's not done to death and it isn't automatically paired with christmas. points removed for the inevitable inaccuracies

Rosh Hashanah mention: 7.5/10 just for using a holiday that most people wouldn't think of or may not even know of

Literally any other jewish holiday: 9/10 how do you know about this who told you

Any jewish holiday scene: 7.5/10, which actually means it can range from 5-10 depending on how ridiculous and wrong the scene is making my rating perfectly average.

shabbat mention: 8/10, kinda love it. it's also really good for casual conversations because its a weekly occurrence so there's plenty of ways for it to feel natural when bringing it up in a script

shabbat dinner scene: 15/10 absolutely love it especially bc it shows character dynamics in a casual setting. if there's anything incorrect it doesn't bother me much because the ways people observe shabbat vary a lot

"im jewish": 10/10 straight to the point no notes love it

literally any mention of money/greed/power: -10/10 shut up shut up shut up why is your only jewish character rich and greedy and why is that their defining trait

antisemitic comments: -15/10 why can't you think of anything nice to say.

nose comments: -100/10 needs to be in a separate category because I hate it so much. somehow even worse when its a goyische actor wearing a prosthesis and caked on "jewish" makeup bc like how are you being fake racist rn

not even saying anything and just making it painfully obvious: 8/10, yeah that character's last name is goldberg so it's pretty clear and I like that. I do wish it was mentioned upfront though

brit milah mention: 5/10, its usually played for laughs which feels a bit weird but not weird enough for me to care. this is a true neutral

having them wear a kippah/magen david/anything visibly jewish from the second theyre introduced: 100/10 my favorite by far because it's made clear from the start and there's no question about it

[magnetothemagnificent]

Jewish holidays rated by how much fire is involved:

Pesach: burn Chametz Erev Pesach, Yom Tov candles, candle to open the door for Eliyahu. 90% fire 🔥

Lag BaOmer: Big community bonfire. 100% fire 🔥

Shavuot: Yom Tov candles. 10% fire 🕯️

17 Tammuz: 0% fire

Tisha'a B'Av: Some eat ashes just before the fast starts. 10% fire 🕯️

Tu B'Av: 0% fire

Rosh HaShana: Yom Tov candles. 10% fire 🕯️

Tzom Gedalia: 0% fire

Yom Kippur: Yom Tov candles. 10% fire 🕯️

Sukkot: Yom Tov candles. 10% fire 🕯️

Chanukah: Lots of candles. 99% fire 🔥

10 Tevet: 0% fire

Tu B'Shvat: 0% fire

Purim: 0% fire

Shabbat: Shabbat candles and Havdalah candle 50% fire 🔥

[intothedysphoria]

Steve is awoken at like 3 in the morning by an incessant pounding on the door.

He shuffles into his slippers and pads down the stairs, baseball bat in hand just in case.

At the door is a weary, dishevelled Billy Hargrove who looks like he’s on the verge of collapse.

Steve, alarmed ushers him in.

Sara Harrington, who was never exactly the heaviest sleeper, is already downstairs, peering at Billy with concern.

She leans down to his level, already splayed across the couch and makes a halting attempt at the language she hates so much.

Billy, shockingly, responds in imperfect but recognisable Yiddish before passing out.

Sara’s response is both deeply troubled but also has undercurrents of relief woven in.

“You never told me you found a Jewish friend.”

Well, friend is a stretch and Steve had no idea until about 5 seconds ago that Billy was anything but Irish Catholic.

Joshua finds out three hours later, when he wakes up to find a boy he doesn’t know at his dining table.

That makes Billy freeze, hairs standing on end in the middle of reaching for a pastry.

He only relaxes again when Steve’s dad makes a terrible joke about breakfast food and sits down, completely unfazed.

Steve manages to park himself right next to Billy, frantically whispering as he tries to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Billy’s response is a shrugged “dad found out I still practiced and kicked me out”, as if that isn’t one of the most horrific things Steve has ever heard.

Billy joins them for Shabbat that evening, as it’s a Friday. It’s clear he’s the real deal and that leaves Steve’s head swimming with questions. Why the fuck did a man so obviously bigoted marry a Jewish woman?

They smoke together peacefully on Steve’s driveway, Billy blowing out a long billow of smoke up into the night sky. He shifts slightly closer to Steve. Almost looking like he might reach out but then moves away.

Billy moves in permanently with the Byers. Steve sees him frequently at Temple, bantering with the Rabbi. It’s weird but seeing him in this environment, Steve could never picture him anywhere else.

Steves not got a crush or anything. He just daydreams about kissing Billy after he gets back from Rosh Hashana services. Normal guy stuff.

One night Billy climbs through his window. He just wants someone to talk to. Joshua and Sara are out on a business trip so Steve puts on Bronski Beat and they dance. Sensual. Steve’s head is on a fairground ride.

He’s pretty sure Billy leans in quickly to peck him on the lips but it’s so brief it might have been a dream.

It all kind of snowballs from there.

Certainly in terms of pseudo (?) romance. Which Steve isn’t complaining about

Steve thinks he may be sleepwalking. He flips through pamphlets about coming out and all of them inevitably point the same flashing arrow straight to him.

There’s a lump in his throat when he comes out to his parents. They’re so supportive, almost aggressively so and it makes Steve’s heart swell.

Coming out to Billy is a different kettle of fish. Steves fully aware that he’s obfuscating the matter, especially with the way he’ll lean into Billy’s touch but it’s just scary. Terrifying really.

Eventually though, he concedes.

Billy’s managed to get him into the backseat of the Camaro. It’s nowhere near as x rated as particularly Robin was expecting, more just second base. Something like that.

Steve finally manages to break away from the kiss and declare “I think I’m gay”.

Billy’s face says no shit but he’s not a dick about it. Instead, he motions for Steve to go on.

There’s a lot of cliches Steve could use. A fuck ton. But he keeps it brief.

He mumbles that he loves Billy and waits for the other shoe to drop.

It never does. Not really.

Billy just says it back. And they carry on.

This isn’t quite a Pesach or Chanukah fic but tysm @kallisto-k and @slime-hoe for your lovely comments, I hope this Jewish Harringrove is ok

@shieldofiron @dragonflylady77 @oopsiedaisiesbaby @harringroveobsessed @runraerun

[groovebunker]

cc x fran fic masterpost

been meaning to do this for a little while - indulge me so i can pin it.

ongoing work

it's all there in black and white [teen - 4/?]

when newspaper editor maxwell sheffield wants to introduce an advice column, he pairs veteran political reporter cc babcock up with his newest hire, fashion columnist fran fine. the only problem? cc wouldn't take her own advice at gunpoint. oh, and she hates fran's perfect face and stupid laugh and general existence. there is that. aka the agony aunt au.

chapter one -- chapter two -- chapter three -- chapter four

i only liked a lot of things before i knew (the way i love it when you touch me now) [explicit - 1/2]

cc admits she's never been with a man who got her off. fran's nothing if not persistently helpful.

chapter one

can't reach the moon up above, don't dare touch the fire [explicit - 1/?]

cc's never been sure how to want things. fran's determined to show her how.

chapter one

what would you do?

what would you do (if they never found us out?) [explicit - 11/11]

after what was supposed to be a one time thing in the wine cellar, cc and fran find they can't keep their hands off of one another. but it's only because neither of them can get maxwell. right?

i. how it started -- ii. furious -- iii. do you trust me? -- iv. beautiful -- v. missed you -- vi. promises -- vii. i'm glad you're here -- viii. i've got you -- ix[a]. only bought (you) this dress so i could take it off. -- ix[b]. needing -- x. what would you do if they ever found us out

what would you do (the vignettes) [explicit]

i. the smoke gets in your eyes -- ii. while you were sleeping

the latke-verse

i like you (a latke) [teen - completed - 1/1]

fran doesn't want to show up to her ma's chanukah party alone. cc's fed up of seeing her sad since she got back from paris. no ulterior motives here, none at all. aka the fake dating chanukah fic.

seventh time is (hopefully) the charm [teen - completed - 1/1]

cc gets some help with valentine's breakfast.

won't you?

won't you just let me pretend that this is the love that i want? [teen]

there's a lot of things cc and fran never talk about. until they do.

won't you just show me the love that i need? [teen]

cc's never been good at being needed. unless, obviously, fran needs her.

won't you just give me the love that i long for? [mature - 2/2]

neither of them are sure how it's so confusing to be able to have what you want. until it's not.

chapter 1 -- chapter 2

won't you just show me the love i've been missing? [teen - 1/?]

sometimes, you have to go back to where you started for anything to change.

chapter 1

should be over all the butterflies [mixed ratings]

a series of vignettes set in the won't you universe.

august two thousand and nine: the fence -- two thousand and six: crossword -- two thousand: the beginning -- two thousand and three: the first time -- two thousand and seven: look after her -- two thousand and eleven: no such thing as bad thoughts -- two thousand and fourteen: how did you know? -- two thousand and seventeen: i wish you hadn't

one-shots (for now)

trick or treat (or: how cc babcock learnt to enjoy halloween) [mature]

c.c. does not like halloween. fran's absolutely not going to stand for that.

fran fine, sweater thief [teen]

five times fran wears c.c.'s sweater and one time c.c. turns the tables.

wise men followed the star (the way i followed my heart) [explicit]

when the phone rings at 11 on christmas eve, fran doesn't expect cc on the other end.

i want your midnights [teen]

c.c. does leave maxwell but that's not the only reason she runs away from the sheffield house. when she and fran end up at the same new year's eve party, can she convince herself to stand still?

i still see it all in my head (burnin' red) [teen]

soulmate au: the world is black and white until you see your soulmate for the first time. or: how red becomes c.c. babcock's favourite colour.

three minutes [teen]

fran finds someone unexpected on the other side of the table when val accidentally takes her to lesbian speed dating. unexpected but not necessarily unwanted.

black coffee morning on the east side [general]

fran's not sure what cc stands for. but she's absolutely going to find out. or: the one where fran's a barista and cc's a very beautiful stranger who drinks freshly brewed black coffee and blushes a lot.

[drivinmeinsane]

Decorating ※ 12 Days of Goosemas

Day Six ※ Sebastian Wilder / Reader

{12 Days of Goosemas Masterlist} ※ {Regular Masterlist} ※ {ao3}

※ Summary: You and Seb reach a compromise when it comes to the holiday season at the jazz club.

※ Rating: No mature content.

※ Content/Tags: Established relationship, Tooth-rotting Fluff, Gratuitous Christmas Vibes

※ Word count: 1434

※ Status: Oneshot/Complete

Leaning a little too far out to weave in the string lights between the branches of the Christmas tree that you’re decorating, you feel the step ladder wobble precariously under your feet. A hand immediately presses against your lower stomach to steady you before it’s joined by a second one on your hip. The top step of the ladder is not the most secure place to be.

“Careful,” Seb says, sounding tense.

“I’m almost done,” you say in the effort to reassure him. You tuck the end of the plug amongst the needles of the tree, right against the trunk.

Satisfied that no one will be able to see it, you call the precarious job finished and take a step down onto the rung below. Sebastian does not take his hands off of you. You know he won’t be satisfied until you are off the stepladder entirely. Looking down at him, you can’t resist brushing your fingers over his hair. It’s loose, not yet gelled since it’s only the two of you here. He’s in a loose shirt and comfortable pants. The jazz enthusiast is soft and approachable like this, not the serious, buttoned up pianist in a tasteful suit. He won’t be until much later. The club doesn’t open until 6 tonight, and it’s not even quite noon yet. The two of you have plenty of time to get everything ready. 

Christmas music plays quietly in the background. You had insisted on bringing your old CD player and a stack of holiday disks to the club for this decorating process. It was one he hadn’t been looking forward to, being rather scornful of the holiday in general. His experiences at the restaurant as a gig worker during the Christmas season hadn’t helped him foster warm feelings for it.

“Tinsel, please.”

He lets his hands slide free from your body and fetches what you requested. He offers it to you with a flourish, a knight presenting a sword to his keeper. Seb sounds fond as he offers up the length of navy blue plastic. “Here you are, my liege.” 

“Thank you, good sir,” you respond grandly, lifting it from his presenting palms. 

Starting from the top of the tree, you anchor the tinsel and work your way downwards. Sebastian circles around to the opposite side to assist so you do not run the risk of toppling head first off the stepladder. His long reach is beneficial, and he works with the same attention to detail as he gives to his music. 

“I’m thinking I might have the band do a seasonal set once a night. Whatever music feels right. Christmas, Yule, Kwanzaa, Chanukah…” He announces conversationally, passing the tinsel end to you from the other side of the tree.

Stuttering to a stop, you let the garland dangle forgotten in your hand. You lean around the tree to look at him incredulously. He raises his eyebrows at your blatant staring.

“But you hate the holidays.” You don’t even bother phrasing it as a question. It’s just a fact about the man across from you. 

“Mmm, but,” he shrugs, “you like it. A relationship is about compromise sometimes. You work with me so I work with you. We both get what we want.”

“Which is?” You ask, utterly baffled.

“I get to see you happy. You keep me from being a scrooge. It’s all about balance.”

You roll your eyes at him with a fond smile. “I don’t know about that, I think you’re still pretty scoogey.”

“That’s not a word,” Seb protests.

After waving a dismissive hand at the amused man, the two of you arrange the tinsel in content silence. Sebastian occasionally hums a melody as you work, parts of songs that he has been composing for the past few weeks and months. You abandon the stepladder to kneel at the bottom of the tree to finish. Seb works in the end of the strand on his side. The two of you step back to survey the tree, the musician coming to stand at your side. It looks promising. You’re about to tell him so when he nudges your hip with his.

“What?” You question, turning to him.

He doesn’t say anything, just does it again, adding a gentle tap of his ankle to yours. Oh, you get it now. Casting him a smile, you offer him your hand, palm down. He takes it willingly and pulls you into a spin. The dance turns into a lindy hop. The two of you are a mess of held hands and dramatic spins. Each time you pull close together, he brushes his mouth over yours in a playfully fleeting kiss. 

Dizzy and with sides aching from laughter, you let Sebastian pull you against his chest. He holds you in his arms, letting you lean against him. He gently sways, matching the beats of the still-playing seasonal music.

“Ornaments next?” His voice rumbles in his chest, against the side of your face. 

“Yeah,” you respond into the sharp angle of his collarbone before reluctantly pulling away from him. You take his hand and tug him after you towards the boxes. 

“Here,” you say, offering him an ornament. “You get the honor of putting the first one on.”

He takes it with careful fingers and secures it onto a branch. The small, piano shaped ornament dangles merrily from its new home. It was what the two of you had settled on. Seb gave you his blessing to decorate the club in preparation for the month of December as long as your choices were appropriately themed. Which was not a problem as you had confirmed that you would be sticking to a theme of instruments and jazz musicians. 

You were rather proud of the ornaments. You had gotten a small stockpile of hanging photo frame ornaments and presented them to Sebastian alongside a stack of photos of jazz musicians. He had excitedly relayed lore about his favorite artists for hours as the two of you slipped the pictures into the frames while seated at the bar. He’s talking about them again now as you both settle into a rhythm, passing each other around the tree as you decorate. 

“-into Five Spot for a while, but people thought he was kind of crazy because of the way he played the piano. He would get up and dance for moments at a time, then sit back down and play a flurry of notes like he was possessed. He really was something.” Seb is gesturing wildly with his hands as he talks. You worry for a moment that he’s going to launch the ornament he’s holding clear across the club.

Catching the way you’re looking at him, he puts the ornament he’s been gesturing with on the tree. “What?”

“Nothing, I just love you.”

A slow smile spreads across his face, crinkling his eyes. “I love you too.”

While Sebastian busies himself with finding a place for the last ornament, a trombone, you pick up a cloth wrapped bundle. You offer it to him when he turns away from the fir. “Here.”

The musician takes it with curious hands and unwraps it. He looks up from the tree topper with a stunned expression. You could almost swear you see tears starting to well up in his blue eyes. 

“This is…” He trails off, you don't often see him speechless. “Thank you.”

“Let’s get this on the tree?” You ask, reaching out and giving his hands a gentle squeeze. 

He shakes his head when you gesture for him to do the honors. Instead he places the topper in your hands. You start to ask him what he’s doing, but then his hands are on your waist and he’s giving you a boost so that you can put it on the top of the tree. A joint effort, unexpected and sweet. You manage to get it on securely and Seb takes care when lowering you back to the floor. As soon as your feet touch the wooden boards, you kneel and plug in the lights, wanting the full effect. Sebastian tugs you in so that your back is against his chest, his arms locked around you. 

“It looks good,” he says.

Your partner is right. It does look good. The cool tinted lights are reflected in the brilliant blue of the tinsel. The effect is almost that of neon signage. The ornaments sit proudly amongst the branches, all indicative of passion for the history of jazz. At the very peak of the tree, welded of brilliant polished steel, is the logo for Seb’s.

[fuckyeahladybug]

Since it’s almost Chanukah, a holiday a lot of people celebrate by giving gifts to their friends and family, here’s a quick reminder that you can submit someone else’s fic to the Comment Exchange this holiday season! Here’s how it works.

1. Take a quick gander at the exchange’s rules. It’s all straightforward stuff, but here’s the tl;dr. Any fanwork with under ten comments is eligible, regardless of content or rating.

2. Choose a fanwork with under ten comments to submit. Make sure that the author is someone who would appreciate it! A fandom friend, perhaps. You can do this multiple times! The Comment Exchange limits you to five submissions per day.

3. Choose a fanwork to comment on. This is the “tax” you pay to submit a fanwork to the exchange. All works with under ten comments are fair game here, but the ideal way is to pick from works in the Comment Exchange AO3 bookmarks.

4. Fill out the submission form. This part is easy. It’s a one page Google Form.

5. Repeat up to four more times, or come back a different day and submit even more fanworks!

Happy holidays if you celebrate, and, as always, thank you to the moderator of the @comment-exchange account for creating such a fun, useful fandom space.

[is-the-thing-actually-jewish]

Hi, I’m a random non-jew (goy? Goyim? One is plural right? I’m sorry I’m stupid) and I just wanted to say thank you for this blog I sent it to my friend Alex who is Jewish and is always super frusturated this time of year by the whole channukah-as-jewish-christmas phenomenon in stores and things, and I just KNOW they’re going to love the screenshots I sent them

Your sense of humour is just like theirs lol

Are you going to make more posts?

Sorry for the late response!

Goy is singular, goyim is plural, and you’re not stupid it’s just a different language :)

We are going to make more posts–and as a side note for those of you who’ve sent us asks, don’t worry, we are working on responses! We have all of them, we are planning to respond to all of them, some just take us longer to research and draft than others.

The Chanukah Rating posts actually aren’t our work, though! Those are from the fabulous @koshercosplay

[feygaleh]

hey jumblr send me your favorite chanukah movie :3

i want to rate them out of 5 stars and in general have something to do while im out of town

(you can also pick a tv show episode/special!)

[inimitablereel]

so you want to watch a Hallmark Hanukkah Movie

Last year @heliological and I watched all 7 Hallmark Hanukkah Movie that were out at the time (plus the one lifetime hanukkah movie, Menorahs and Mistletoe) to make a cool fanvid. Actually, you don't need to have seen any of these movies to watch that so I'm going to shamelessly stick that in the body of this post

I've just watched the two movies that came out this year, so, below the cut, my personal ranking of every Hallmark Hanukkah Movie (plus mistletoe and menorahs which I'm declaring an honorary hallmark movie)

Perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that watching 10 Hallmark* movies set in December means a lot of exposure to that other December holiday. Personally I avoid Christmas as much as possible, but I hear some people love it, so I'll rate each of these movies on 3 axes:

Hallmark: how much christmas is in a movie (higher is worse imo)

Hanukkah: how much this movie knew (or got wrong) about Judaism (according to me, one Jew on the internet)

Movie: okay but was it actually fun to watch (again, according to me)

Round and Round (2023)

Rachel gets stuck in a timeloop on the seventh night of Hanukkah. Hallmark: 1: Christmas barely exists in this movie, and every character we know celebrates a holiday specifically celebrates chanukah. A 1 instead of a 0 because there are a few moments of Christmas existing in the world (true to life in north america in december, unfortunately)

Hanukkah: 8: loses a point for a couple of incorrect props, but generally seems like it knows what it's doing about hanukkah/feels like a reasonable portrayal of Jews

Movie: 10: this is the only one of these that I told people irl to go see: I genuinely liked and would recommend this movie! I love timeloops, I found the romance genuinely very compelling and handled well with the context of the timeloop, it was really charmingly nerdy, so I'm 100% the target audience for this one. Dropout fans may note that one of the leads is played by Vic Michaelis.

Hanukkah on the Rocks (2024)

An old town dive bar turns into a Hanukkah party when just-laid-off lawyer Tory gets pulled into the community.

Hallmark: 0: I just finished this movie and I honestly don't remember there being any Christmas in it at all? It was mentioned as existing once? A real breath of fresh air as compared to the other Hallmark Hanukkah movie from this year

Hanukkah: 9: This gets bonus points for remembering that Jewish holidays other than Hanukkah exist. It was a little hokey at times about shared jewish experiences or whatever, but such is hallmark. Deducted the last point because I am mad about "Hanukkah in July"

Movie: 7: The description of this movie doesn't do it credit - it's surprisingly fun to watch! The main actors are pretty good and it was fun to watch everyone interacting. The pacing was a little wonky and the ending was a little rushed because this was way more focused on figuring out what you want in life/forming community than the actual romance plot. But I love the kind of romance that's actually a late coming of age story and this overall worked pretty well.

Hitched for the Holidays (2012)

Nice Jewish Girl Julie and Catholic boy Rob find each other on Craigslist looking for fake dates for the holidays. Shenanigans ensue when Rob pretends to Julie's family to be Jewish.

Hallmark: 5: this definitely had a fair bit of Christmas in it, since his family celebrates Christmas, but we're grading on a curve here because if I recall correctly this at least doesn't try to explain Christmas to the Jewish girl or do a kiss under a Christmas tree. It's set over pretty much the whole month of December so it's as much a new years movie as a christmas movie in that sense.

Hanukkah: 7: I'm giving this a relatively high rating despite it mostly showing Hanukkah celebration that's messed up on purpose as a joke about how the goyish boyfriend doesn't know anything about Hanukkah. So we get things like him blowing out a menorah, but hey, them including that as a joke means that the creators of this movie know that you're not supposed to blow out a menorah!

Movie: 6: I thought it was a pretty good romcom. It has a real plot arc, and it's doing some fun tropes. I will say that this movie runs on cringe humor, which I don't love but at least it's doing something. This is one of two movies I watched in 2022, so I may be underselling it a bit because I've forgotten, but it was actually pretty memorable.

Holiday Date (2019)

Nice Jewish Boy Ethan is hoping to get an acting gig in a play that involves small town Christmas, so he volunteers to pretend to be Brooke's boyfriend when her real boyfriend dumps her just before going to her parents' for Christmas.

Hallmark: 10: this is a Christmas movie that has a Jewish boyfriend

Hanukkah: 4? this didn't get anything wrong about hanukkah iirc but it's really not a movie about Hanukkah and it doesn't have a ton of screentime. They light some candles and have latkes and soufganiot

Movie: 8: Ethan's actor, Matt Cohen (who imdb tells me was on a few spn episodes back in the day?), made this movie. He was just shockingly charming and enthusiastic about everything in a way that made it somehow work for me even though I simply would not be anything like that level of enthusiasm in his place. And the fake dating plot worked pretty well. It does run into the classic hallmark conservatism, so even grading on a scale that ignores the Christmas of it all I don't want to give it full marks, but it was a notably way better, more cohesive, and more fun to watch movie than a bunch of these. This did make me say oh if I liked Christmas some of these movies would be fun vs many of the hanukkah ones are deeply mediocre in a way that isn't really fun, but that may mean if you have a tolerance for Christmas you have choices that are even better than this one. This one actually has the worst rating on letterboxd of every movie here, which, again, suggests that if you like Christmas there are better movies (with fewer Jews) and if you don't like Christmas this is so much Christmas.

Eight Gifts of Hanukkah (2021)

Who could be leaving Sara all these Hanukkah gifts? Surely not her good friend who used to be the boy next door. How will she choose between the mystery gift giver and the chef she just met online?

Hallmark: 2: I'd forgotten about this one honestly but it's really not about Christmas! They do have a half-Hanukkah-half-Christmas display because Sara's business partner is Christian, but honestly, it's pretty cute! The chef isn't Jewish but he doesn't force Christmas on her and is interested in her family's hanukkah celebration which is honestly very charming, so maybe this movie really deserves bonus points for knowing that Christmas exists but not being obnoxious about it

Hanukkah: 8: detracting some points for the JCC running a "Hanukkah hunt" which I personally hate. Also at one point someone carries a lit menorah? I don't think that's not kosher it just seems dangerous. Gets a bonus point for having a hanukkah song that isn't made up for the movie in it as instrumental background music!

Movie: 6: I have this in my notes as "perfectly functional romcom". Tbh this one may have been a worse watching experience just because I watched too many mediocre movies all at once, I think it was pretty okay. Also gets bonus points from me for not being set in NYC

Hanukkah on Rye (2022)

Jacob and Molly have a meet-complicated when they realize that the delis that they're both inheriting are competing .... but also secretly they've been paired up by a matchmaker at the same time.

Hallmark: 1: Tragically this is our last one that is not about Christmas. a 1 instead of a perfect 0 because the magical matchmaker who wears red and white and has glasses that glint in a particular way felt Christmassy to heliological, the Christmas Movie Knower of the two of us (also there's a Christmas tree in the lobby of the building they live in)

Hanukkah: 9: sure yeah this one knew about Hanukkah and was generally reasonably culturally aware. Detracting a point because their latkes do not actually look good to me (and imo deli latkes aren't really a big hanukkah thing?) but this is just me looking for reasons to mark it down [EDIT: apparently this is in fact an NYC thing, so like this movie reflects A Jewish Experience just not MY Jewish Experience]

Movie: 4: Unfortunately this one wasn't so much bad as boring, which is the worst crime in a movie imo. I wasn't super drawn in by the leads or their romance. Hallmark movies love having family screentime, but there was a little too much family in this one and they didn't really get individual personalities. If you're the kind of person who wants to watch a hallmark hanukkah movie you may still like it? Certainly some folks on the internet thought it was the best one up to that date. The one good part of this movie to me was that there was grandma yuri.

Leah's Perfect Gift (2024)

Nice Jewish Girl Leah loooooves Christmas (because she's been poisoned by living in a hallmark universe) so she's thrilled that her boyfriend has invited her to his family's Christmas celebration. Unfortunately, when she gets there, his mom is... not super welcoming?

Hallmark: 10: this is a Christmas movie

Hanukkah: weirdly, also 10? The problem with this movie is after about the first 15 minutes the fact that Leah is Jewish was almost never addressed again. (I'll get to that more in the movie section, I think it actually let down the plot.) But those first 15 minutes of establishing? They must've gotten some Jews involved with making this movie! In very little time they showed more Jewish culture (and Jewish culture that isn't specifically about Hanukkah) than several of these that were nominally all about Hanukkah. They know about another Jewish holiday! They namedrop Maimonides!!! The mom is PERFECT. Anyways wish this had been visible in Leah in the rest of the movie.

Movie: 6: hallmark is simply too cowardly to follow through on the premise they set up here: how do you navigate a holiday you don't celebrate with a family that really doesn't want you there. This was trying to thread the needle of things are going wrong for her because she's Jewish and doesn't have the right cultural expectations around Christmas ... but also all of the problems are specific to this family and will be dealt with by the individual problem causers realizing they were wrong (on their own) and apologizing. It's doing something as a movie! That's a bold choice! Unfortunately it doesn't pull it off, and the failure to pull it off made me go from liking to hating the boyfriend because he subjects Leah to the gauntlet of his garbage family Christmas and then doesn't really do anything to support or protect her. Leah should've gotten together with Tricia the general store clerk who as far as I can tell is only in this movie to hype Leah up and listen to her problems. Also thematically I would've liked more moments of Leah bringing her own background into this celebration - it didn't really feel like her failures at this family's Christmas were because she's Jewish or even because she doesn't celebrate Christmas - this family's Christmas was just very bad and weird.

Love, Lights, Hanukkah! (2020)

Christina is adopted but she gets a DNA test that reveals that she's biologically Jewish and therefore she obviously wants to reconnect with her birth family at the "most magical time of the year"... Hannukah.

Note: I watched this one in 2022 and it did NOT make a big impression so this will be my least accurate review

Hallmark: 6: I think there was a bunch of Christmas

Hanukkah: 7: I don't think this did anything egregiously wrong but it wasn't particularly good about Jewish rep either. There's a fundamental problem with your main character is adopted and her first view of Judaism is going to be all about Hanukkah...

Movie: 4: forgettable :p

Mistletoe and Menorahs (2019)

Christy loooooves Christmas and doesn't know anything about Hannukah but she needs to know about it for work. Nice Jewish Boy Jonathan needs to decorate his apartment for Christmas to impress his goyish girlfriend's father. Surely these are equivalently unknown cultures that they can have a nice time sharing.

Hallmark: 9: not a Full On Christmas Movie but it spends a lot of time Explaining Christmas

Hanukkah: 6: I don't think this is super informative about Hanukkah and doing it as a Teaching Experience when it's super basic stuff to me is kind of annoying. Also some truly garbage looking latkes made by Christy. But it gets the bonus point for knowing that another Jewish holiday exists!

Movie: 3: let's learn about Christmas was never going to be a compelling plot to me, and Christy is also just not very good at coming up with toy ideas for someone whose job that is? My notes say this is "pretty middle of the road for these" which is more damning of the whole Hallmark Hanukkah Movie concept than this movie in particular

Double Holiday (2019)

Nice Jewish Girl Rebecca is tragically forced to throw the office Christmas party with her work rival. At the end of this they do get together, obviously

Hallmark: 9: Sooo much Christmas. Did you know that dinosaur cookies are insufficiently Christmas for Christmas cookies? There is a kiss in front of a Christmas tree

Hanukkah: 5: they get big into spinning dreidels upside-down? Why. And their latkes don't look good. I don't remember them doing anything else Obviously Wrong but it wasn't good.

Movie: 3: I didn't like this one, which was mostly about the Christmas of it all but also it wasn't good

Congrats on making it all the way here Hallmark you should consider making a movie for Any Other Jewish Holiday sometime. My mom tells me that there is at least (and perhaps exactly) one decent Hanukkah romance novel so it's not like the options are so much better book-wise

[gabolange]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

I always love this meme, because my answers are always different! Here are today's.

acts of survival made generous (For All Mankind, Margo Madison, Margo x Sergei, 20K words, canon-divergence, rated T). An AU from the end of S3 in which Aleida doesn't tell anyone about the engines. A story of what it takes to forgive and move forward.

the wheel of the headlong year (Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, Marie Batel, Marie x Chris, 16K words, post-ep, rated T). In which Marie Batel survives the Gorn, but survival is really fucking hard.

for the possession of our smallest sensations (The Wheel of Time, Moiraine Damodred, Moiraine x Siuan, 11k words, post-ep, rated E). In which Moiraine loses the source, and struggles not to lose herself.

Tomorrow's Dust (Babylon 5, Susan Ivanova, Delenn, 2.5k words, future fic, rated G). Susan celebrates her first Chanukah on Minbar. A story of legends, friendship, and moving forward.

When the Long Trick's Over (Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, Jack Robinson, Jack x Phryne, 5.5K words, post-ep, rated G). I never know what goes in slot 5--there are good options. But someone recently told me this story is the standard against which they judge my writing (hi!), so you know. Jack Robinson follows Phryne to England. The logistics are the easy part.

[koshercosplay]

btw if you've sent me suggestions for chanukah ratings via an ask and haven't been answered, I'm not ignoring you I'm just saving them lol

[gerardwolfesfwart]

Happy hanukkah / חג חנוכה שמח

This piece features my OC named Rebecca celebrating hanukkah by lighting a hanukkiah, shes a character in a crimefiction comic im writing atm :) hope people like her as much as i do

Alternate blurred background version under the cut :)

The earrings are pretty much a copy of the ones at the bottom of this post https://www.tumblr.com/koshercosplay/736101473248739328/its-time-for-my-yearly-chanukah-merchandise

[wenevergotusedtoegypt]

I am...pretty upset at our babysitter.

When we hired her back in the fall, she quoted a range for her hourly rate, of which the lowest end was tbh significantly higher than the going rate around here. But, she was actually available for all the hours we needed (which we struggled to find), she had glowing references, and she gave off a good vibe. So I had an honest conversation with her where I explained that we really wanted to hire her, but we're a single income family and, while it's not on her to accept a lower wage to accommodate that fact, we couldn't do more than the low end of her range (and that, though I didn't tell her, only with some financial help from my in-laws). She agreed to that rate and told us that she would always be transparent with us if money was becoming an issue, and might potentially take on an additional job if she needed to, though she hoped to work for just us.

So fast forward a few months. She's great with the kids, they love her, she's very reliable. She's asked about our childcare needs over the summer, so it seems she anticipates continuing to work for us over the longterm if we'll have her. Everything is going great.

Then we hit my husband's winter break, which was over a month long and started right before Chanukah. She asked if we needed her over Chanukah because she wanted to visit family, and we said no due to my husband being on break. She then asked about the rest of the break. I told her that technically we didn't need her, BUT I knew she was relying on the money, so we were happy to have her continue working throughout the break or for part of it, and it was totally up to her. She declined to work at all over the break.

First day back after the break and she asked if she could speak to me before she left. She told me that after the month of not working, she was struggling financially, and had had to borrow money. Here I began to expect she was going to ask for a raise. I told her that I was so sorry, because maybe I hadn't been clear, but I'd really meant it when I'd said that we would've been happy to have her keep working over the break. She said that it wasn't my fault, but now that her class schedule is fully in the evening (she's a part time student, and in the fall it was part evening and part afternoon), she realized she needs to work more of a full time schedule during the day in order to make enough to get by. And that therefore, she was giving her 2 weeks, because she was going to look for another job.

So I get she needs money. She only works for us 10-11ish hours a week. I had kind of assumed til now that her parents were paying some of her expenses.

But like.

How did you not realize in the fall that this wouldn't be enough money? Why did it take a month of not working to figure that out? Would/when would this realization even have hit if my husband hadn't had a break?

WHY DID YOU NOT WORK FOR A MONTH WHEN WE LITERALLY TOLD YOU WE WOULD PAY YOU IF MONEY WAS SUCH A CONCERN

It's not actually her 2 weeks. Because she literally had not even applied to a single job as of that conversations, because

She waited to start doing so until she could talk to us?? Like I feel like she thought she was doing the right thing by speaking in person, but...we could have had maybe even WEEKS extra time to figure something out?? Or she could've started applying when my husband was on break so if she left it wouldn't be an immediate crisis.....

So the "2 weeks" is really more "I reserve the right to be done as of 2 weeks from now but if I don't find a job by then I'll stay til an unspecified point." Which is EXTREMELY unhelpful because how am I supposed to hire someone without a definite start date. IF I'm going to hire someone, that is, because....

I asked her if she would be interested if I could help her find another family nearby that needed babysitting earlier in the day. Prior to this offer, she had told me that she really really didn't want to stop working for us, she loves our family, etc. so I thought this would be a great solution all around (as another issue she mentioned was the commute and whether it was worth it for only a couple hours of work at a time). She seemed genuinely interested in the prospect, so as soon as she left, I put out feelers to a bunch of local groups. I had like 16 people, maybe more, contact me about her and I connected her with all of them. I was feeling like maaaaybe things would work out, as long as she could find someone else who would accept her rate (or maybe she'd go down if it was more hours). Either way I couldn't try to find someone else because maybe I wasn't even going to hire anyone.

After a couple of days 2 of those people reached out to me asking if I knew what was up, because they had reached out, and she had never replied. So I was going to ask her what the deal was today, because wth, girl, I'm trying to find you a job and you're not even responding to would-be employers. But before I even got the chance, she told me that she was "offered a job" at a place that lines up well with her intended field, and she has an interview on Wednesday, so she'll let me know what's happening - but good news, it would probably start about a week later than she thought! I was like wait, you have a job offer or you have an interview?

It's just an interview. It's just a first interview. I almost have to admire the level of confidence entailed in being that sure you're going to land the job that you're already making plans around it, but anyway. What good does it do for me to know that you have an interview and you think there's a really good chance you'd get the job and that if you did you would probably start by X date? I still can't actually plan anything.

And, I'm also frustrated because I feel like if she was going to accept my offer to help her find another babysitting job nearby, she owed it to me to make a good faith effort to look into whether anything I found would meet her needs, and meanwhile she didn't even reply to all the interested parties I found her. If she wasn't going to take that option seriously, she should've just told me it wasn't something she was interested in. I feel misled by how enthusiastically she declared that she wanted to keep working for us and then it feels like she didn't really even try to make that happen.

Anyway, bottom line, she's put us in an extremely difficult spot. Assuming she does leave, any gap between that departure and finding a suitable new sitter will entail my missing hours of work a week (my husband isn't allowed to miss any of his classes and can't really miss any more days in the clinic than what he'll miss for yontiff, because he has to make up each day he misses). She is a really good sitter and I think she has had genuinely good intentions this whole time. But she is just like. Woefully naive about finances I guess? and not very tuned into what would actually be helpful to us as far as notice.

[genuineformality]

Fic Title: Eight Nights, Chapter 1 Author/Artist Name: Genuineformality Fandom: Arcane (League of Legends Cartoon) Jewish or Jew-Ish Character(s): Viktor Bingo Squares Being Filled: H5 First Night, A2 Menorah, K2 Candles Rating: G Warning(s): Modern AU, in case that's not your bag. No other warnings apply. Link to Work: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52111027/chapters/131797465

On the first night of Chanukah, Viktor lights a chanukiah for the first time in a long time.

On the subsequent nights, Viktor and Jayce explore a lot of complicated feelings.

@hanukkahbingo

Y’all, it’s a rough time to be a Jew on the internet right now. I’m tired. Everyone I know is tired. I just can’t muster much creative energy.

So have some very tiny fragments of an Arcane Modern AU where Viktor is Jewish and Jayce is trying very hard for this Panfandom Chanukah Bingo event, because something is better than nothing.

I'm going to attempt to write a chapter for each night. They're likely to be short, relatively fluffy, and because I can't stop myself, stuffing world building around the edges.

Happy Honk, my loves.

[adreamareads]

Adreama Writes

I have been thinking for a while that I need to have a pinned post describing my stories. So here we are! These are all Red White and Royal Blue (all book verse unless otherwise specified!) with one Percabeth, you know, as a treat.

Adreama Writes on Ao3 : 20+ works and counting!

Nora and Shabbat

Rating: T | word count: 2848 Nora hosts a Shabbat dinner for June, Alex, and Henry, sharing her Jewish traditions with them as they all celebrate the Jewish Sabbath - but in the Nora way. Some tradition, some tweaking tradition, and a lot of fun and friendship between the White House Trio + Henry.

Yrs 

Rating: G | word count: 4078 14-year-old Hudson has been at the Fox Foundation Shelter for LGBTQ+ Youth for nearly six months. He volunteers to clean out the former office-turned-storage-room, and finds remnants from a love story that starts with a piece of a note or a letter. The only thing that remains on the letter is the signature: “Love you. Yrs, A”

Yrs for ever (sequel to Yrs)

Rating: G | word count: 3709 When he was 14 and staying at the Fox Foundation shelter for LGBTQ youth, Hudson had found remnants of Henry's relationship with Alex. Now, ten years later, Hudson is attending the Fox Foundation 30th Anniversary Gala and he seeks to connect with Henry again, to show him that he understands what it means when someone says yrs.

Nora and the High Holy Days 

Rating: G | word length: 3152 Nora returns to DC with June for the High Holidays: Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. While she's there, she makes a new friend who looks out for her safety.

Nora and Chanukah 

Rating: T | word count: 13,962 | 8 chapters Eight days and nights, eight chapters of Nora celebrating Chanukah! Featuring heavy doses of Junora, lots of friendship and family time. Nora gets to share her Chanukah celebrations with June, as well as with Alex & Henry, with her family, and other friends.

Gentle Fires

Rating: T | word length: 2647 Alex doesn't know where this new thing that Henry has with candles came from, but he's not complaining. They are pretty nice.

Nora and Purim

Rating: T | word count: 2454 Nora gets ready for a Purim celebration and tells June all about her holiday, with a feminist twist, of course - that's the Nora way!

Super Six Seder 

Rating: G | word count: 8153 Nora leads the rest of the "Super Six" (June, Pez, Bea, Henry, and Alex) in a Passover seder, livestreamed for charity.

Sisterhood 

Rating: G | word count: 6597 Martha would love to be close with her sister-in-law Bea but all Bea ever talks about is her friend June. (or 5 times Martha is jealous of Bea’s sisterhood with June and 1 time she is sisters with Bea.)

Nora and Sukkot

Rating: T | word count: 5707 Nora enlists June plus Alex & Henry to help her build an official government sukkah at the Vice President's Residence (AKA where her grandparents live) for the Jewish holiday Sukkot in the fall.

Fiercest Protector

Rating: T | word count: 11,586 | 6 chapters June and Bea want nothing more than to protect their little brothers. Here are 5 times the sisters were there for their brothers, and one time the boys were there for their sisters.

Nora and Tu B'Shevat 

Rating: G | word count: 1309 June surprises Nora on her holiday with plans and a gift. Happy new year for the trees!

March Book Club

Rating: T | word count: 17,388 | 2 chapters A kid at Henry's shelter inspires him to pick the Little Women series for his book club with June. Meanwhile, Alex is there, by his side, supporting him always, and Henry starts thinking more about their future in all the good ways.

Blanket Fort 

Rating: G | word count: 600 Alex is anxious during a storm, and so is David. Henry has a late night at the shelter.

of fathers and sons 

Rating: T | word count: 7245 Henry stays with Oscar Diaz his father-in-law while he's getting the new LA shelter up-and-running. It's a bit of an adjustment, but it's actually nice. He even picks up a few new skills in the kitchen to show Alex!

June and Weddings 

Rating: G | word count: 1216 5 weddings June is in + 1 time it's her own

talking about feelings is a sapphic cliche 

Rating: G | word count: 1200 Nora and June have a serious talk about the future after June makes a big decision.

Christmas Visit 

Rating: G | word count: 3525 It's Christmas Eve at Kensington. Alex's niece tells him about the ghost she saw the other day. Then, in the middle of the night, Alex sees him too.

end of an era 

Rating: T | word count: 4602 It's New Year's Eve 2024, and it's the last "Legendary Balls-Out Bananas White House Trio New Year’s Eve Party." Alex, Nora, and June are co-hosting with the President-Elect's kids. Alex and Henry reflect on the last four years and what's in store for them.

H. Fox Live at the Strand

Rating: G | word count: 3007 Join us for an in-person event with bestselling author H. Fox for the launch of his new book Dreaming of You. Joining Henry in conversation will be journalist June Claremont-Diaz. This event will be hosted in the Strand Book Store's 3rd floor Rare Book Room.

"...and then they became friends!"

RWRB MOVIE-VERSE! Strictly Movie! Rating: M | word count: 6783 It's Henry's birthday, and Alex surprises him at Kensington. He gets to crash Henry's birthday plans which include tea with Bea… and a visit to the children's hospital.

Watch it All Unfold 

ratings: varied | word count: 100 per chapter A series of mostly unrelated drabbles. We jump around in time, visiting different characters at different times. Each chapter stands alone and complete.

Fandom: Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus

The Question

rating: T | word count: 5552 Post-graduation from college together in New Rome, Percy & Annabeth are spending one more summer at Camp Half-Blood, and Percy is working on a Plan, one worth of a daughter of Athena, to ask her an important question.