#changed my life i need them to come baxk

[rinayeas]

You guys will never guess who i saw

[illustratedbydae]

Gilbert Blythe x reader | peaches

requested: yes

Master list

warnings: sadness, not edited

prompts: 1. " Just stay the night. Please. " & 7. " Can I hold your hand?"

It has been a devastating event for all people in Avonela, but especially for a young man. Gilbert Blythe just lost his father, the only family he had left. It wasn't easy. How could it be? When you lose the last person that's like your whole world, everything starts to crumble and you find yourself asking : " now what? there's no place for me here anymore. "

And in Gilbert's case that was true. The boy couldn't see himself staying in Avonela for long. He wanted to leave, far away from the island. A concerned voice pulled him out of his thoughts, " How are you feeling, Gil?" his best friend asked, placing her hand on his shoulder, trying to show some affection, " I know this isn't easy. It could never be easy, I've been through this with my mother, last year, remember? So I know some of the pain you're experiencing and I'm here for you. "

Gilbert nodded, showing (Y/N) a small smile that was directed only towards her. She was the only person that was still able to make him feel a little comfort and happiness after the latest events.

" I know that, peaches, " he said, his lips curling into a bigger smile as he said her nickname. She got it after Gilbert found out about (Y/N)'s obsession with peaches, " And I'm thankful for you. But I'm not sure there's much you can do. "

(Y/N) frowned, grabbing his hand quickly, " There's always something I can do. Come on."

" Where are you taking me?"

" You'll see."

Holding hands and walking slowly through the snow, the pair of best friends made their way to the cemetery. When Gilbert noticed where she was leading them, he stopped. The boy was there a few hours ago. He didn't want to go back, " (Y/N)? Why are we here?"

" It may seem irrational, but this will help, " she said sadly, moving forward to Mr.Blythe's grave, " You need to grieve, in order to move on with your life. It took me a lot to understand that and for months I was in unimaginable pain. You don't have to go through that as well. I'll leave you some space and-"

" Stay. "

" What?"

" Stay here with me. I can't do it alone. I'm not as strong as you. So, please, stay. "

(Y/N) nodded, holding his hand strongly, " Okay. I'll stay. "

And the girl hadn't left his side for the next hour, time in which Gilbert silently cried and mourned his loss. It was a terrible experience, but the warmth of (Y/N)'s hands made it less awful. That was the first time (Y/N) ever saw Gilbert cry, he wasn't the one to show his emotions, but moments like this were inevitable and also a way the two of them became even closer.

" I'll miss him. I already miss him."

(Y/N) nodded, " And its perfectly normal, but do you remember what you told me when my mother passed away?"

" I've said a lot of things that day, I'm not sure what you're meaning. "

" You said that now she's in a better place. Some land without sorrows and pain. Isn't it lovely? To be able to just be happy and without a care in the world because you're beside the one that created you in the first place. "

" And you thinky father is in a better place now?"

She smiled, " Positive. He was a good man, Gil. And now he's got his peace. You should try and to the same. "

Gilbert frowned, letting go of (Y/N)'s hand. He suddenly felt bad for letting her stay with him, letting her closer. The boy only thought about how hurt she'd be when he'd leave. He couldn't do this to her. Not when she looked at him like he put the stars in the sky.

" What's wrong?" the girl asked concerned, " Was it something I said? You look troubled. " Gilbert shook his head, " No. It's nothing, but I should head home now, thanks for -uh, being here. "

He didn't wait for a reply, instead he started jogging to his house, leaving a dumbfounded (Y/N) in the cemetery. The girl started to run after him, calling his name, but Gilbert didn't stop. Her shouting his name only made him run faster. Gilbert felt guilty for knowing he'll end up abandoning her. He couldn't face her anymore, but (Y/N) had other plans. She knew something was wrong with her best friend, so the girl wasn't going to give up that easily.

(Y/N) arrives at his place, ten minutes later, barely breathing. Jogging wasn't really her thing. She sat down on the stairs for a couple of minutes to calm her breath and collect her thoughts. After that, she got up confident and knocked on his door, " Gilbert I know you're in there, please let me in. We should talk about whatever it's bothering you! "

For a moment the teen girl was hopeful, she heard steps approaching the door, so (Y/N) only hoped Gilbert would open the door for her, because she really wanted to talk with him and it was also freezing outside. But the door didn't open. (Y/N) heard the footsteps stop, meaning he decided to sit down. She did the same, her baxk facing the door as her eyes looked at the snow.

" Gil? You're there?"

A slow hum was heard from the other side of the door. He was there, but had no words to say, except " You should go home, peaches. "

" Not until you tell me what's wrong, " she said surely of herself, adding " but please make it quick or I'll freeze here," as a simple joke.

" You'll be mad. I can't do that to you. "

" Try me, Gil. "

(Y/N) didn't hear anything for a few minutes, she assumed he left, so the girl pulled her jacket closer the her chest and stood up. Sighing she was ready to give up, when Gilbert opened the door.

" Just stay the night, " he said with a certain pain in his tone, " Please. "

Thousands of reasons as to why she shouldn't stay came to (Y/N)'s mind : firstly, she was a girl and he was a boy and it was forbidden for them to spend the night together and alone, secondary they'd have to share a bed which was also considered a wicked thing, but in that moment nothing mattered. He was her best friend. Of course she'd stay the night.

" Of course, " she smiled, making her way into the house and straight near the fireplace. (Y/N) sat down on the sofa, waiting for Gilbert to come and explain what's on his mind. The boy closed the door, then sat near the (y/h/c) haired girl. He was on the opposite side of the sofa as her, staring as she took off her gloves and hat.

" You're just going to stare at me or you'll actually tell me what's going on?"

Gilbert nodded, moving closer, " I'll tell you, but first I need to ask you something. "

" Go ahead. Ask. "

" Can I hold your hand?"

(Y/N) blinked in surprise as a small formed on her face, " Uh-mhm. But where does this affection come from? I don't really mind, but still. It's unlike you. I'm usually the clingy one. "

Her comment made Gilbert chuckle slightly as he took her small hand into his, intertwining their fingers, "Promise me you won't be mad. I couldn't stand the thought of you being mad at me. I-"

" Just move to the point. I won't be mad at you, Gil, whatever it is. "

As she said those words, her heart stung a little, preparing for the worst, " I might leave Avonela for a while, " Gilbert whispered slowly and that's when (Y/N)is World lost all its color. Tears were ready to fall down her cheeks, but she didn't let herself cry, not after promising she won't be mad.

In fact, she wasn't mad, she was heartbroken. The pain she felt was worse than the one she experienced during last year when her mother died. Last year she had hope her mother was in a better place. Now, all she could think of was that she wasn't good enough to make him stay. He was going to leave her, but it wouldn't be the first time it happened to (Y/N).

" It's okay. "

" You can yell at me and say how I shouldn't- wait, what? You said it's okay?"

" Yes, " she nodded slowly, letting go of his hand, " It's not the first time someone I love leaves me. "

Gilbert's eyes widened, his heart beat racing. How could he be so stupid? He knew really well how her father left when she was only 13 years old, " (Y/N), I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that!" he murmured, pulling her closer to him, Gilbert made everything in his power to make her stay, " It won't be permanent. I just need to find my place in the world. I'll come back one day. Plus, it's not settled I'll even leave. "

The burnette boy noticed how her facial expressions changed, from sadness to confusion. (Y/N) had no idea what to think about this whole situation. Of course it was painful, but she couldn't be selfish. She needed to let him go, because she loved him.

" Okay. "

" Okay?"

" Yes, okay. You need to find your place - even if that means I have to let you go. I'm not saying I'm okay with this, because you probably guessed I'm not. I'll miss you terribly Gilbert Blythe, because you're my whole world, but I have faith you'll come back to me. "

" Your whole world?" Gilbert repeated as a huge smirk formed on his face, " Did you just confess your feelings for me? I remember you said you loved me, but I never thought you'd be this serious. "

" Shut up, Blythe. "

Gilbert started to laugh as (Y/N) wrapped her arms around him. It wasn't exactly warm in his house either, " But for the record, I love you too, peaches. "

(Y/N)'s lips curled into a smile as her head rested on his shoulder, " That much I figured out, but it's nice to hear you say it. Now can we please enjoy this moment? I wish it could last forever. "

" Anything for you, peaches. "

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Another tip we used is writing "I'm a black business"

So inside we had white owners have signs stating free items like free large coffee for blacks and free small coffee for whites with a purchase.

So it was preferred to be "imba black business owner"

Or "I'm a Muslim business owner"

And state the truth but if it said "black business: it meant free stuff during business hours or due to looting/so many on the street at night they changed their hours to nighttime.. Black meaning black sky.

It saved the life of some Muslim owners once. Some young African-American were causing a scene and so they got me and I went over and they said "this business is always open! I know it is! We always come here to eat! See that? They explain it to us! It means flag but it means night and see They write black business that is not just for us its for nightlies. They open at night but that means they're Muslim from Jerusalem, come on! You got to help, you the only one of us not afraid of cops and we got to break in! I know they in there and they hurt i just feel it! Come on! I'm afraid! I see you looking you see her arm? She waving but she too weak"

"Go"

They had been attacked and someone had attempted to Rob them. They were cut up and bloody.

"No kick the door knob not the glass. It will be safer and leas damgage if you break the knob itself, see it's old, then that is all they need to replace, it's just a few bucks"

"Man Sabrina how did you do that! That lock must been old! Oh no they got a dead bolt and it's locked and it's new"

"That's where you'll have to break the door frame but if we're good and I know we are we will be able to lock it still with a new door knob,just the top will be shredded"

"Idk what you're talking about but okay"

And i was right.

"YOU'RE ALRIGHT WERE GONNA GET YOU OUT!! YOURE SAFE!! WERE FRIENDS!" I yelled through the window

"I got you son watch out" a bigger older man said still African-American

"Now Sabrina it's your turn" said a quiet young Latina

I put both hands on either side of the door, took a deep breath and pushed with my hands really hard on the left of the frame "i know Sometiems it gets stuck it might have jammed it on the wrong side. Now let's try this" and I ran and jumped into the right of the door frame and flew in and dust and pieces of boards flying around me. "Oh shit. What if they were lying yo me" i couldn't see the lady but she had rolled over and was laying with her big husband and she began to scream "Hey hey no were here. Its just me and some of your customers."

"Sorry were closed"

"Come on Sameir, we need some food"

"No no thats him cafe closed."

"Once you get a door knob. But for now, the cafe us open!" And the perfect timing the lights turned on at that exact moment and somehow it felt like a total party.

"No no. He's dead. Turn off the light. Sorry we're closed. I will lay here and die. He had a heart attack. No more life for me"

"Move your hair. Shouldn't you be covered? Your hair is really pretty and much more black than i think it should be. I just didn't expect it."

"No no go home. I must get a cover"

"Good now I get to lay in his spot. Now you go lay on his other side next to his heart that is where you should be"

"Oh me I am not sorry, you are right m free cake m take all you want we are closed"

"No Sameir we are not here to take anything from you is he dead? Oh dear God. Im gonna puke!" Idk how he puked either as his Latina friend said he hadn't eaten. "I'm,going outside where it's cool"

"Oh he's fine he's just pale. Samier, i hope you don't mind im going to grab his hand he's a little cold"

"Oh no hes stiff"

"Hey y'all did you see lightening?" Asked our hero "oh its just the cake display"

"All will be fine. Sometimes love is all it takes. Listen to his heart Sameir. We brought your love to erase your fear. Okay we can eat cake but we will pay." I got up, "the phone is dead they must have cut it. Hey can you call the hospital? I'd like him to get checked out but he seems alright"

"What? Huh? You know I just puked. I don't have time for you, my friend has died I have to plan the funeral, she's in no shape"

"If you would just look, i think you would see..."

"Sameir!!!!" He stood and ran to the door "hurry guys call the hospital!! Sameir! Sameir! can i come in!!"

Sometimes, there is no quieter sound than love and happiness.

"Yes come. Come. There is plenty for everybody"

"Man, Sabrina! Thanks to you!" And i got a quick huge kiss on my mouth "oh don't smile! You know it is"

"Hurry. Go see your friend. He waits."

He went in and i waited outside with the crowd for the cop to saunter back up so he could radio for an ambulance

He returned to the door, "Sabrina can you come in he wants you"

"My wife. She think i am dead and she dreaming. Can you help?"

"No I am dead. Shop closed. I am just haunting. New owners will buy. Send money to my kids they might be upstairs" she leaned up on her elbow "you are here aren't you? We do not have kids" then laid baxk down "and we never will, I am dead"

"Mrs Sameir, let me see your hand" I grabbed the top of her hand and little balls of light danced around her fingers "you will always have enough love to keep Alive all you meet with food and your heart" and I placed her hand on her chest.

"Is she dead? Sabrina she looks ashen. Like he did"

"Oh it's love. Sometimes it does that. We will just wait. It should be just a few short -- "

"SAMEIR!! MEET ME! IM YOUR NEW WIFE!" She jumped in his arms and he was slim and they kissed.

"Sabrina did you see that? What did you do? No no Sameir!" Samier grabbed his chest, stumbled to the wall and slid to the floor.

"She must have died first, they're doing Romeo and Juliet. Here you'll need to help"

"Should we touch them? They're Muslim"

"In the privacy of their own home Its okay"

"But their modest"

"Okay I'll grab her feet and keep her dress down and legs closed"

"Okay You grab her feet, where do we go?"

"On his lap. Close to him as possible. No one will see. The cake stand. I need to bring them to life together."

"But she was"

"But she wanted to Die! Now she did and they will reconvene. It will be safe trust me"

We laid her next to him "now grab her hand and touch his heart. Youre his friend! It will work better.!"

Sameir opened his eyes "Ben. She died" he looked into his friends eyes.

His friend slumped "i know. Sabrina said it would work" he said depressed. "Sabrina!"

"You are not me but Ben? I got shot and laid next to you for 3 days and this is what you respect to me? Ben? And why not me?" She teased. "And look! I took from your heart! And mine! I took earlier! Sabrina gave to me!" She produced 3 bullets

"Huh?! What the Hell?!?! African-American Ben social distanced with 4 Good feet sliding on his rear

"You said they were not dead"

"Thats not what i ever said. Now i know they will be fine. Enjoy your cake. You know where to find me. I'll send a doorknob over later."

"Where will you find some this time of night??!"

"I have some"

"And don't you grin!" Ben warned me while grinning himself and sliding over to hug both his friends.

There's something silent about love and happiness.

Its called peace

[plantanarchy]

do you think you could talk a little about being autistic? im wondering if i might be autistic and im still not sure bc i like pass as neurotypical rlly well so far and i thought it would help to hear about actual people's experiences. you don't have to though and im sorry if this is weird!!

This has been in my inbox for a bit, I’m sorry! But yeah, I can talk about it. Keep in mind that everyone’s experience is different and its less of a “spectrum” from mild to severe/low to high functioning and more of a complex where different people have different experiences. A lot of people use functioning labels to dismiss the experience and opinions of “high functioning” folk when it comes to being autistic because tjey “don’t seem autistic” or “aren’t like those other low functioning autistic people”, but really “function” is relative and can even change day to day… on someone’s bad days they could be totally nonverbal rocking back and forth and on good days pass better at neurotypical than I do…

Ok so, I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was ~10. I was essentially non-verbal in school and other high stress social situations and had been since I was very very young. This was interpreted as “very shy!” despite me having severe difficulty from a young age in saying anything at all to teachers, doctors, church people, even many of my peers, etc and often feeling like i was physically unable to speak but you know… because I spoke at home and with my neighborhood friends, I wasn’t considered non-verbal at all. Or I guess selective mutism is the correct term which is something I definitely still struggle with. Like when I was in middle school, I spent a few years literally being known by my mom’s friends and by some people at school as “Meep” because thata fuckin all I could physically say when somebody tried to talk to me haha

BUT ok that got away from me, point being: i was diagnosed with Aspergers at a young age which is a diagnosis that no longer exists/has been absorbed into the greater Autism diagnosis. Aspergers was separate for a long time because it was basically used to say “these kids are high functioning and different than those low functioning non communicative kids!”. Basically because I had most of the “cool and good” autism traits, my “not as cool and kinda crippling” autism traits and needs got shoved aside and essentially ignored for a long, long time. Which I think happens to a lot of kids! Even to the point of not getting a diagnosis at all or getting a wrong diagnosis and only realizing later in life what may be going on and what was missed.

Whoops before this becomes a bitter tangent, back to my experience of autism I guess. Ok, so on top of still being selectively verbal/mute (some days are worse than others and sometimes it isn’t even directly anxiety related it’s just a mostly mute day), my other symptoms include 1) it’s almost physically painful to make eye contact with anyone 2) formal social situations are beyond me, I never know what is correct or what’s coming next and usually I survive informal social situations by cracking jokes and making weird references to shit or being obnoxious and just accepting the label of “weird ass obnoxious kid but that’s just bre” 3) usually feel like I’m just two steps away from understanding what’s going on in some social situations lol like sometimes i have good intuition, can read people, can guess at what they’re thinking and then something happens that makes me question my entire interpretation of the situation and I realize maybe I wasn’t reading them correctly the whole time!!!! It’s the social equivalent of being the only one to get a wrong answer on a math problem and frantically rechecking your work lol 4) sensory overload yayyyyy when too many things happen at once (which can be like… 2 thing), I zone out and feel like my environment is unreal or blurry (fun and cool dissociation) and I can never predict what will cause that overload or when but also a lot of people have the very dramatic “autistic child screaming from sensory overload” image in their brain and thats not always accurate… my overload results in shut down 5) also along with that, I have sensory issues such as texture, sounds, etc. Certain fabrics as a kid would legit make me cry if I touched them or if my mom made me wear them (WINDBREAKERS ARE SENSORY HELL) and that still happens lol also with stuff like… chewing sounds, shoes that touch my toes in any way, loud music/bass, etc 6) along with that and with sensory overload… stimming. Stimming is basically a self-regulatory response to overwhelming stimuli and plenty of non-autistic people also do similar things when faced with high anxiety situations. Like foot jiggling, pencil tapping, nail biting, pencil chewing, etc it’s basically a soothing compulsion and not always something many autistic people can control without great effort and that control comes at the cost of not regulating anxieties or sensory overload well. I’ve got and always have had a lot of verbal/language stims and am very reptitive in my speech and writing patterns (y'all and lad anyone???) which is kinda self soothing. I have literally always had catchphrases. When im on my own i also do rock baxk and forth and other repititive body motions, also fidgeting with objects, especially cool round objects 7) catalog all the useless info in my brain!!! I can memorize information very well (not numbers though) and when I was a kiddo that got me labelled as #gifted and I was “savant” level in reading and writing but that is less cool and fun to people than beinf a math or science savant or something. 8) anyway related to that, as evidenced by this blog, I get VERY INVESTED in certain topics/ “special interests” to the point that it eclipses all other thoughts in my brain yay!!! Which isn’t a bad thing, I mean it gets me through and also if you have “good” special interests, people think you’re smart and interesting and ask your advice about stuff lol

Symptoms I don’t have that a lot of people think of when they think of an autistic person 1) I am horrendous at math I fuckin hate it numbers are the devil!!!!!! 2) 99% of my humor is sarcasm and I can understand it and figures of speech lol though sometimes i do get it wrong if i can’t read you otherwise 3) I don’t have “zero empathy”, I can feel for the plights of others VERY strongly, and can usually see any (most) POVs if it’s explained to me

There are others probably and there are certainly autistic people who have thise traits and who have different traits than I have. There are LOADS of different ways to be autistic. But also, there’s a lot of overlap between autism and between other things like ADHD, anxiety disorders, etc! So keep that in mind. Some people are strongly anti-selfdiagnosis of autism but knowing how easy it can be for kids who don’t present 100% stereotypically to slip through the cracks, I am all for it. I pass a lot of the time as neurotypical and can do most society things ok, though I have a steep learning curve compared to others… and with passing as neurotypical comes the frequent dismissal of my opinion on autism related topics and the lack of acknowledgement that actually I often DON’T pass as neurotypical and at those times my lack of passing is interpreted as rudeness, deliberate lack of effort on my part, stubbornness, lack of intelligence, lack of professionalism, an assumption that I’m angry with someone or don’t like them, etc etc. It’s an endless, awful cycle!

And I don’t really have too much personal advice for figuring out if you’re autistic or not… I did go through a point in time where despite being diagnosed I strongly denied that I was autistic and kind of had to come back to that as a near adult and realize nope… definitely autistic. And then knowing what to do with that info once youve figured it out is just… I mean there’s not much. There are little to no resources for autistic adults, very few support groups made up of autistic people and led by autistic people, very little resources directed at autistic people themselves in general, usually the focus is on the parents or guardians and talk aboit autistic people as abstract concepts… whoops, can you tell I’m bitter haha gonna end this before I go full “mental health professionals failed me and I’m a mess” etc

[speaklovefreekc]

Don't play with people who are serious, because once getting cut there is no coming baxk... So someone may be having life changes and know that realistically how this business functions, and then the goal is to not piss ME off... Live your life the way you do... I'm were I need to be, that doesn't necessarily mean being about of anyone or anything other than what I do.... I'm prepared to do whatever for the purpose in my soul... I'm not forcing, convincing or manipulating anyone to be involved, how you move says it all.... Play one to get another and then play then just to get back in good with what you played with.... NO.... across the board... Play with ME and you will be playing alone because I won't participate in your antics... ..... I L♡ve my bros enough to not need you male thotting azz hoes, or the chicks you decide to mess with... If one of my brother mess with what's not good for them, I ease up if his that will enhance his life.... Easy life is a life with no unnecessary strife.... 😇 😉Enjoy Life, Live Speaking Freedom Daily... 🙏 Blessings and Peace 👑 Goddess Queen Supreme... Potential unlimited and extremely fun... Musical Genius😍😜😘 Kisses 💋Are you ready... 💋 Heaven Sent ☆ KC The Vessel 💝💎💸💪👀👂🔭🔮 🎭🎶🌏🌎🌍🏆🚀🚁♐💯💫 🎦🎧🎤📺📻📝🔥 🎁🏅✔ Real only... 📰 📚 💭 🎰 2016~17 L♡ve M♡vements! Always Better! #PowerisMoney #GrowwithME #EarthAngelKC #AchievingHumbly #RealLifeGoals #YesYupYeah #MusicandPrayerEvolvedME #GracedtobeGreat #SpeakingFreedomLife #GoodHeadGroupPsych #ILoveforaLiving #Love1617Purpose #TopLoveGangGeneral #NoReallyRealL♡ve #LoveDealsPromotions #AlwaysBelieveL♡ve #GotFlavor #SpeakingFreedomPublishing17 #SpeakingLoveGangFreedom #longoldmoneymindsetandpockets #WritingismyFreedom #GottaBeYourPurpose I'm all in... 🤓🙏🗝💫📿🏅🕹☥#rare1177