#changed jobs moved started school again after 2 years away

[guygoo]

[thatnewweeb]

Childhood Sweethearts | Bakugo Katsuki

Summary | You moved to America when you were young, having to leave behind your childhood sweetheart. After moving back to Japan, you'll find out if things have changed between you two

Content | Fluff, honestly I can't think of any warnings for this so let me know if you see anything that needs a warning

Word Count | 1.7k+

A/N | I love the idea of Bakugo being in love with someone through his whole life, I have no idea why. At the time of posting, I wrote this forever ago

It had been almost 5 whole years since you moved away. You missed home. It wasn't like you'd wanted to move away in the first place, but your dad's job took you away from Japan all the way to America.

Finally, at 18 years old, you finally convinced your parents to allow you to move home. Having attended an elite hero school for the past 2 years, you managed to have some special arrangements made for your return home.

And so, that is how you got to where you are now, nervously walking down the halls of UA next to Principal Nezu. He had spent the first half hour of the morning before classes began showing you around and explaining a few things to you.

At the start of homeroom at 8:25AM, he walks you to the classroom of Class 3-A, the class you will be joining, starting today.

Everyone looks over as the door opens, the principal strolling in and standing at the front of the class. You follow nervously. These people have had nearly 3 whole years to get to know each other, and here you are, the new girl joining in the final year, not knowing anyone.

At least, you didn't think you knew anyone, until you force yourself to look at the class properly.

Your eyes immediately fall on a blond boy in the second row. His own eyes are widened, locked onto you. A moment later, you rip your eyes away from him, prompting him to look away also.

When you realise Nezu has stopped speaking and is now looking at you, you snap out of it and look at the whole class.

"My name is Y/N. I have two Quirks, which I am sure I will have more time sometime soon to explain. I look forward to spending this year with you." You say and bow slightly to the class.

Your homeroom teacher, Aizawa, points you to your assigned seat, so you sit down quietly, not saying another word.

It isn't until lunch, almost four hours later, that you say anything else, besides answering questions in class. Your fourth period was English with Present Mic. Having lived in an English-speaking country for almost 5 years, it was quite an easy class for you.

Almost as soon as you are dismissed from class, you're surrounded by people, wanting to talk to you, get to know you. You're fine with that, but you did have someone else you wanted to talk to. They already walked out the door though.

"Y/N!" Someone says, popping up in front of you out of nowhere.

"Izuku!" You smile, excitedly throwing your arms around your old friend.

You see a brown-haired girl blushing as she watches you hugging Midoriya.

"I can't believe you're here! I didn't know you were coming back!"

You nod. "I know, I'm sorry I didn't say anything."

He shakes his head, wanting to reassure you. "It's okay! We fell out of touch, that's not anyone's fault."

Izuku invites you to spend lunch break with him and his friends, being introduced to them all, him explaining a little about how he got into UA at all.

After classes have finished for the day, you don't give Bakugo the chance to run. As soon as you're dismissed from class, you walk over to his desk, standing in front of it and resting your hands on the surface.

"It's nice to see you again, Katsuki." You smirk.

He looks up at you from his chair briefly, quickly looking away. “Yeah, it is.”

You lean down so you’re closer to his height, him still avoiding eye contact. “Would you mind walking me back to the dorm? I haven’t actually been there yet, Nezu didn’t have time to take me.”

He tuts but stands up, picking up his bag and slinging it over your shoulder. Not saying a thing, he leaves the classroom, you following him. You know what he’s like, you know to follow.

As soon as you're out of the halls and outside, he decides to say something. "I didn't know you were coming back." He mutters.

You're just happy to hear him say something to you. "Yeah. I know."

He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

You pause where you are, stunned. You hadn't expected him to apologise to you.

When you don't say anything, he sighs and turns to you, also stopping walking. "I shouldn't have stopped responding. I was upset you were gone, and I went about things in the stupidest way. I... I regret it."

It takes a moment for you to say anything, blinking in shock. "It's okay." You smile brightly up at him. "I understand. It was hard on both of us, after all."

"Yeah, but I ghosted you. I shouldn't have done that. Not to you, you don't deserve that."

"I agree you shouldn't have done it, dummy. But I'm saying I understand, okay?"

He smiles a little, looking down at you. "Come on, let's go to the dorms." He tugs on your backpack, indicating that you should take it off. When you do, he slings one strap over his shoulder, carrying it for you.

"Since when did you become a gentleman?" You ask with a small laugh, making him grunt a 'shut up' to you, his cheeks going slightly pink.

Finally reaching the dorms, Bakugo opens the door for you, letting you into the large building.

Everyone else is already there, the people in the communal area looking at you as you enter. Other than Izuku, people seem a little surprised to see you with Bakugo, and even more surprised that he doesn't look as annoyed as he typically does.

With everyone staring, Katsuki shoves your bag back into your arms before walking over to the stairs to go to his room.

You smile a little as you watch him, shaking your head.

Izuku is the first person to come up to you, smiling. "Everyone wants to get to know you a little. If you have some time, come sit with us?"

You do what he says, walking over and taking a seat between him and a boy with a black streak in mostly blond hair.

You end up spending a couple hours with them, telling them about your Quirk and what it's like to live in America. When they ask about you seemingly already knowing both Izuku and Katsuki, you tell them that you grew up with them.

A girl with pink skin, who you learn is Mina, asks you for some stupid stories about them as kids, Izuku going red and telling you that you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, trying to save himself the embarrassment.

Even though you're unsure if Bakugo will be annoyed at you for telling them this, you also tell them a few stories from when you and him were dating before you left for America.

Everyone seems surprised, a small uproar coming from the class. No one had ever even seen an indication that he had ever been interested in anyone, yet alone had a girlfriend. It appeared to be a ludicrous idea to most of them.

Kaminari seems to deflate a little upon realising you dated one of his best friends. Guess he thought you were pretty.

Not long after, you go find your room, needing to unpack. Right before you close the door, a foot stops it from closing. A second later, Bakugo comes into view.

"Well, hello there." You smirk a little, looking up at him.

He smirks back, placing a hand on the doorframe, standing in front of you. "Hey. Care if I come in?"

You move out the way for him to come in but tell him it's a little messy because you're still unpacking.

He doesn't even look at the room, closing the door as soon as he's inside and standing close to you, essentially pinning you between him and the door.

That's when you really realise how much he's changed. He's so much taller now than when you last saw him, his shoulders broader, entire body more muscular, a few visible scars now. The whole thing makes you a little flustered.

"So, do you have a little American boyfriend now?" He asks with a slight snarl, expression turning into a smirk as soon as you shake your head. "No? Then, would you mind if I kissed you?" He whispers in your ear.

You don't verbally respond, but the look on your face gives him the answer he needs. He keeps one hand on the wall, the other coming to rest on your waist, leaning in and pressing his lips against yours. Your own hands find your way to his chest, gripping onto his shirt.

A moment later, he pulls away a little, smirking. "Guess we haven't missed a beat, huh?"

You laugh, not letting go of his shirt. "Suki, you're an ass." You say, making him laugh too.

"Yeah, but you love it." He whispers, leaning in to kiss you again. "It's starting to get late, and you haven't finished unpacking yet. If you wanted to stay in my room tonight, you're welcome to."

You look up at him, a little surprised by the proposal. When he sees the look on your face, he panics a small amount. "I didn't mean it like that! I meant we can spend the night sleeping together- no, not sleeping together! Not like that! I just meant- we- we can- I meant-"

You giggle at his nervousness, making him look a little angry. You move your hands to rest on his cheeks, standing on your tiptoes and smashing your lips against his.

When you finally break the kiss again, both a little breathless, he stares at you, mouth open slightly.

"Sorry, I had to find a way to shut you up." You smile. "I'd love to cuddle tonight, Suki."

He looks relieved, taking your hand. "Come on, let's go."

You spend the rest of the night in Bakugo's dorm, cuddling and eventually falling asleep in his bed.

Before he falls asleep, he spends a few moments just watching you, barely being able to believe that he got lucky enough to get you back into his life. He gives you a soft kiss on the forehead, holding you tighter, closing his own eyes and falling asleep.

[thinkingotherwise]

Hi! I hope I'm not too late for a request but can you please do a head canon on Wind Breaker(satoru nii),Haruka(Platonic pls)& the Bofurin,Hajime,Hayato,Akihiko,Ren,Mitsuki,Kyotaro & Ren,with s/o who is haruka sakura's older sister, who is about 22 years old, she's a hikikomori, has the same personality as Haruka, unlike Haruka, she appreciates kindness & generosity, calls Haruka an idiot but has a heart even though they don't get along.Fem Haruka's older sister s/o, used to be a sweet kid to haruka, but somehow she got bullied due to not living up to high expectations as a girl & causes her to lose him & suffer trust issues who has no friends. Her personality is similar to zooble from the amazing digital circus pls. Sorry if this explanation is long.

No worries, write as much as you want. Though I honestly didn't know The Amazing Digital Circus and I watched the pilot just to get the feeling of Zooble's character. She's a MOOD. Also, I thought about making the reader hikikomori but I wanted her to live alone, so she came to be mostly social-distant and not keen on human interactions - I hope I captured the characteristics correctly. It's also more focused on platonic relationships. I hope it's still alright.

Wind Breaker characters x Haruka Sakura's older sister (mostly platonic)

part 2, part 3

characters as written in request: Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suou, Akihiko Nirei, Hajime Umemiya, Kyotaro Sugishita, Ren Kaji, and Mitsuki Kiryu TW: bullying (mentioned), manipulation (mentioned)

- As the older sister of Haruka, you were the one who got him into training martial arts and fights, it was you who first saved him from bullies when they laughed at his hair and eyes. - You were the only one whom he could go to for comfort and the only one who hugged him whenever he needed it. - With time you got into more and more fights helping your younger brother and because of that, you got bruises in more visible places making your parents lecture you each time and each time it was worse. - You got in a lot of trouble not only with your parents but also with your boyfriend at that time, who just like them thought that girls shouldn't fight and whenever he saw your bruises he yelled at you saying that you look awful. - You didn't talk about it with anyone, and maybe that was your mistake because, after the n-th time of hearing such horrible words, you gave up. You changed and vowed to never fight again leaving Haruka alone. - Your emotions were in turmoil seeing Haruka beat up and knowing he had to fend for himself, especially when your so-called boyfriend started having heated conversations with him, but you still didn't interfere knowing that it wouldn't please others knowing that you as a girl fought. You didn't want to disappoint them more than you already did. - After some time your friends and boyfriend started turning on you. Even though they pretended to be nice, they were manipulating and soon started bullying you. - Every interaction with them started making you irritated and annoyed but you kept it in for the time being and as soon as school finished you cut everyone off, moved out of your home, and found a small flat in the nearby town. - All those false relationships had an influence on you and made you socially-distanced, you didn't want to feel more betrayed and kept your interactions with other people to a minimum. - You spent most of your time at home, thankfully you got online job and didn't need to leave your house. The only people you kinda appreciated and talked with were your neighbours who always asked how you were doing and sometimes gave you some snacks but you never let them in keeping them at a distance.

Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suou & Akihiko Nirei - Now then during one of your shopping trips Haruka recognized you. He was at one of the patrols and the sight of you, who left him, got him angry. - Nirei and Suou tried to get some information from him but he pushed them away and went to confront you. They tried to calm him down thinking he was about to beat some woman. - You heard the commotion and looked in their direction. Surprised to see your brother you became uncomfortable and tried to quickly leave. - They grew louder as Haruka started calling after and stopped you. Your irritation was apparent and you tried not to show how awkward you also were to see your brother. - "What do you want, pipsqueaks?" - "Huuh?! Pipsqueak?" - Your brother got annoyed and started lashing out at you saying you left him and why are you even here, that you should go back to all these people you chose instead of him. - Your blood boiled at the accusations and you raised your voice too, telling him how awful you felt, how everyone was putting pressure on you, and how you were never enough for all of them. - The loud argument was cut off by Suou, who proposed talking it all out privately. - You reluctantly invited them home and told them about the issues you had and that you were sorry you had to cut Haruka out of your life. - He left that day mad at you and it took him some time before visiting again. - You didn't expect to see him again and what was even more surprising was why he came. - Haruka tried to be angry and he told you, you were a coward for running away like that but that if you want you can start talking again. - It made you happy but also flustered and you tried to deny needing him and others. - Somehow after this meeting, the guys started visiting you and tried to get you used to becoming social again. - Talking with Suou was very calming and his understanding nature really helped you open up slightly more to others. - Nirei, however, was the one to fluster you the most, saying that you were pretty cool, as soon as he got to know you were the one who ignited the flame and fight skills in Haruka. - You were grateful for what they did and how hard they tried for you, so you let them introduce some other guys from Bofurin.

Hajime Umemiya & Kyotaro Sugishita - For you, Hajime was one of, if not, the most annoying. - "What? Oh God, please no, I don't want to take part in any of your so-called family meetings." - You responded once again when he invited you to the cafe he frequented with friends. - Even though you tried to push him away he was sticking to you like a leech, constantly trying to make you see that you can trust people again. - He annoyed you so much and you tried to act tough and not be swayed by him but you would lie if you said he didn't grow on you. - His friend, Sugishita, however, seemed to be the complete opposite of Umemiya. - Your first meeting went so wrong. - When you first met him, he was in the middle of arguing with your brother, and seeing him ready to throw a punch awakened some protective instinct in you, that you felt a long time ago when it came to Haruka. - "What the hell, you better step the fuck away or I'll make you." - You stopped his hit gripping his fist and ready to beat him to a pulp. - "Hey, now, now let's calm down." - Thankfully Umemiya stopped you and cleared the situation between you and the first year. - After the next few meetings although still alert near Sugishita you found comfort sitting in silence next to him, he was a great escape from Umemiya and his constant yapping.

Ren Kaji - You met Ren once, maybe twice and both of them he ogled you as if judging your mood and emotions. - Then he would reach for his pockets and hand you lollipops. - Just like with Sugishita you appreciated the silence when you stayed near him. - Occasionally the silent sounds coming from his headphones, as he listened to the music, calmed you down and brought comfort to you.

Mitsuki Kiryu - Mitsuki seemed to be the one hardest to get along with, his style was loud and clashed so badly with your shut-in personality. - Surprisingly he made a good substitute for all the friends you had during your high school years, he wasn't false like them and he actually listened to your complaints. - Not to mention the late evenings you spent on "girls talk" when you felt more in the mood for some social interaction. - He'd always have all the newest gossip to share.

Tags: @misticbullet

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part 1

author's note: hi! remember that time i wrote jack fics? well i'm branching out, so BUCKLE UP BABY. it should be said that this will be multiple parts, i don't know how many though so again, buckle up. also i'm pretending the trade never happened

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, mentions of absent parent

mat barzal. nearly everyone in new york was obsessed with him, you knew him by the awkward elevator interactions when you were leaving work and he was getting home.

you nannied for a family in his building, a mom named erin who was rarely home with two really sweet children, ages 2 and 4.

you didn't even know his name until a few weeks after he moved in when erin mentioned his name in passing conversation, saying something about an nhl player living across the hall.

"i think he's around your age," she said with a sly smirk. "and handsome too, introduced himself to the kids too. such a sweetheart."

"erin," you started. "you can't possibly know he's a sweetheart from one two second interaction."

she tsked and waved you off. "first impressions have a great impact."

you met him when you were getting off the elevator. he had a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and wore a suit, his hair was wet and strewn about in every direction. you were in a pair of sweats to combat the cold.

he mumbled a small hey and made a pathetic excuse for a smile as he waited for you to get off the elevator.

everything you knew about him, you gleaned involuntarily. he must suck at cooking given the amount of times the smoke detector would go off in his place, you could hear the beeping through the walls. and his lack of cooking skills took shape in the trash bags filled with take out boxes that he loudly dumped in the trash chute. you even knew he had a best friend named "tito" from the shouting that erupted every time said friend came over.

you thought nothing of him aside from the mild annoyance at his loud noises.

it wasn't until the fall came and the two year old turned three (and therefore went off to preschool) that things changed.

you'd just settled into your pajamas when erin called asking you to come over.

"is everything alright?" you asked.

"you remember mat?"

"hardly."

she laughed through the phone, though it sounded a little strained. "can you come over? he's found himself in a bit of a situation."

you paused. "what kind of situation?"

spoiler alert: it was an eight month old baby girl kind of situation.

mat was sitting on erin's couch while the baby, whose name was apparently ella, snoozed away in the pack and play when you walked in.

erin explained the situation as you took a seat. something about a fling he had that resulted in a pregnancy (obviously) and the mom decided parenting just wasn't for her so she dropped the baby off with mat and has blocked him on all forms of communication.

erin leant some things like a pack and play for ella to sleep in until he got a crib. but he didn't need that as much as he needed you.

a nanny.

"i know you already have a job, but i can pay well and pay you more for watching all three kids when you have them," mat begged. "i know i have late games so it would require late nights but you can sleep in the guest room if you'd like and i might be gone for a week at a time, but you can invite friends over to hang out and--"

you held up a hand. listening to the man beg and plead for your help was almost heartbreaking. "i'll do it."

he sat back. "what, really?"

you furrowed your brows. "is that a problem?"

mat shook his head. "no! sorry, i was just surprised you'd agree so quickly.

"well, it's not like it would interfere with my time with erin's girls. i could watch your baby during the day and take her to pick up the girls from school and keep ella until you get back."

he still looked unsure. "i work late nights sometimes, is that a problem?"

you thought about the fact your schedule has been empty for the past few months, that the only reason you leave your shitty apartment was because erin needed you to nanny. "i think i can manage."

he smiled for the first time that evening, looking almost near tears. "thank you thank you thank you," he said.

you nodded, a little overwhelmed by his sudden change in demeanor. "when do i start?"

day one

you hesitantly walked into mat's big ass apartment to the sound of a screaming baby.

it was six in the morning.

mat ran into the living room, hair askew, clothes wrinkled, but his baby was in a clean set of pajamas with tears running down her face.

"i don't know what's wrong," he said frantically. "she woke up and i changed her diaper but she's still crying."

you dropped your bag on the floor and made your way over to him, taking ella out of his arms and immediately bouncing her in your own. "she's probably hungry," you guessed.

"i tried that! i put the bottle in the microwave but when i gave it to her she started crying harder and--"

"wait," you stopped him. "you put the bottle in the microwave?" he nodded. "with the formula?" he nodded again. "mat, you can't do that. heat the water separately and then add the formula. and then test it on your wrist to make sure it's the right temperature." you walked into the kitchen and prepared the bottle the right way, showing mat how to do it as you went.

when all was said and done, you placed the new bottle in ella's mouth and watched as she took it without issue.

mat's shoulders sagged in relief. "you're a miracle worker."

you gave him a sheepish smile. "you can go get ready, mat. i've got her from here." he nodded and hurried towards what you assumed was his bedroom while you walked over to the couch to sit down.

ella was a cute baby, you'd give her that. no doubt taking after her father. she looked at you with wide eyes as she drank her bottle, her irises never left your face. it would've been unnerving if she had been an adult.

mat came out a little less frazzled ten minutes later. ella had finished her bottle at that point and the both of you were laid on the floor doing tummy time.

"what's that?" he pointed to the two of you once he stopped running his hands through his hair.

"what's what?"

"what's that you're doing?" he gestured again before placing his hands on his hips.

"tummy time," you smiled. "it helps build her neck muscles. also helps prevent flat spots on the back of her head."

you didn't like to judge people for their skin color, because it's racist, but you didn't think it was possible for mat to be paler until you spoke.

"she could get flat spots?"

you hung your head as ella babbled to herself.

it was going to be a long employment.

day ten

you'd finally gotten mat on a rhythm, he looked a little less scared with every day that you came over.

but today was different.

he was going on an eight day roadie which meant you would be watching her overnight several nights in a row (on top of erin's kids).

you'd done much harder jobs before, so you weren't nervous about the time you spent with ella, it was more so you feared all the confidence you built in the week or so you'd worked for mat would disappear when he came back and realized he had an eighteen year commitment waiting at home for him.

"you have my number, right?" he asked even though you got it the night you accepted the position.

"yes, mat," you said instead.

"and you'll text me if anything goes wrong?"

you nodded. you bounced ella on your hip and held her hand up. "bye dada," you said for her, smiling as she did.

mat's bags were stationed by the front door, but he made no move towards them. he stayed planted in front of you, but his hands fidgeted.

"can i--" he cleared his throat. "can i hold her?"

"of course!" you didn't hesitate to pass her off to mat, who handled her like precious cargo, but was still a little unsure about the entire situation.

once she was settled, he took his eyes off her to look at you. "you know where the guest room is, right?" you nodded. "right, just make yourself at home. i stocked the fridge, i have just about every streaming service, so you should be fine." he paused. "but if you aren't--"

"mat--"

"--you can just text me if you need anything, alright?" he turned his head to focus on ella who took her hands to slap to his cheeks. "and you be good, okay baby?" his voice pitched higher right before he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

you checked your watch to keep yourself from intruding on what felt like a special moment. "mat," you started. "you should get going before you're late."

he nodded and pressed one last kiss to the top of ella's head before passing her back to you. "i'll facetime you when i get to the hotel, okay? so i can tell her goodnight?"

you nodded and left out the part that she would probably be asleep because honestly, you weren't expecting him to remember.

"alright," he said, wiping his hands on his pants before making his way to the front door where his bags sat. "i'll see you in a week."

"bye bye dada," you said in a high squeaky voice, using ella's hand to wave just like before.

he smiled before walking out the door and locking it behind him.

day fourteen

it wasn't until halfway through mat's roadie that weariness settled in. you were constantly surrounded by children, which normally wouldn't be an issue, but between ella and erin's two kids, you were practically a full time single parent.

which sucked because it wasn't even like you got laid to even create this issue.

mat, though, true to his word, facetimed every night he possibly could. he smiled wide every time he saw ella's face and while she was confused at how your phone worked, ella smiled and laughed at the sound of her father's voice.

"what have you been up to?" he asked one evening. you were spoon feeding ella sweet potato puree for dinner while he was laying in bed in his hotel room.

"nothing really, we went to the park today, she was really happy to see a few dogs."

mat grumbled. "certainly didn't get that from me."

you couldn't help it, you smiled at his pout.

"is that--" he guffawed. "did i make you smile?"

you rolled your eyes. "i'm sure i've smiled at you before."

"you haven't!"

"and i don't blame you!" another voice piped in. "he's not funny."

when mat saw the look on your face, he sighed. "that's tito," he said like that explained everything.

"nice to meet you, tito!" you called.

"is that your nanny?" you heard him call. "can i say hi to ella?"

mat rolled his eyes but moved the camera to show you a good looking man lounging in the other bed. he was handsome in a way that mat wasn't. you couldn't really compare one to the other in the same way you couldn't compare an apple to quantum physics.

"ella can you say hi?" you asked in a small voice. ella spared a single glance to camera before screaming. you laughed before spoon feeding her more puree. "sorry," you started. "she does that sometimes."

tito looked terrified but covered it up quickly when mat cleared his throat. "she just screams randomly?"

you shrugged. "usually when she's excited or frustrated."

tito laid back in his bed and started scrolling on his phone. "babies, man."

mat came back into view. his head rested back on his pillow as he held the camera above his face. "are you both doing okay?"

you opened your mouth to reply but tito cut him off.

"you don't need to ask her that everyday!" he said.

you couldn't see what he did, but judging by the shaking of the camera and the cackle that escaped tito's lips, you'd give your left leg and say he flipped his best friend off.

you took your eyes off the camera to look at ella who was using her puree covered hands to rub at her eyes. you put your phone down and grabbed a napkin to immediately start wiping her face and hands.

"is everything okay?" mat asked. "did i lose you?"

"just had to put the phone down to clean her up. she's getting sleepy." you pulled ella out of her high chair, resolving to clean it up later, and picked your phone up.

mat's face lit back up when ella came into view. "hi baby girl," he smiled. "are you getting ready to go to bed?"

ella rested her head on your shoulder and yawned.

"well, i'll let you two go," mat sighed. "i love you, ella bean." he directed his gaze to you. "same time tomorrow?"

"i'll let you know if anything changes."

"night."

"night, mat."

he ended the call and left you to take ella to bed.

day twenty-seven

nearly a month into working for mat and everything was going great. ella had gotten used to you which meant she knew you would come back when you left the room. the first two weeks, she cried every time you left. and if you had to guess, it probably had something to do with how her mother treated her.

and mat, well, he was embracing the father role well enough for someone who thought he was an unattached bachelor not even a month ago.

as far as you go, you were still getting used to the workload of erin's kids and ella. and while you would never breathe a word of it to anyone, you preferred ella over erin's kids.

your roommate and your boyfriend took some time to adjust to your new hours, but your roommate was excited when you contributed more to groceries and apartment needs. as far as your boyfriend went, he was still getting used to the idea of you being gone all day and sometimes even weekends, but even he admitted ella was the cutest baby he'd ever seen.

you were plating yogurt and some smashed peaches for her morning snack while holding her on your hip when mat walked in the kitchen, hair wet from a shower.

"hey," he said. "how is she?"

at the sound of his voice, ella turned in your arms and made a grabby motion for him. "you tell me," you said, handing her off to him. almost immediately, ella rested her head in the crook of his neck and popped a thumb in her mouth.

a smile crossed his face at the way ella fit so perfectly into the lines of his body.

"you're good at this," you remarked.

he laughed. "i have no idea what i'm doing."

"does anyone?"

"you seem to have it figured out."

the laugh was out of your mouth before you could stop it. "well then, let me go audition for broadway. i'm a better actress than i thought."

neither of you said a word, but you continued to stare at each other until his phone dinged. mat shifted ella around until he could fish his phone out of his pocket. "oh it's my mom." he scrolled through the texts when a figurative lightbulb appeared over his head.

"what?" you asked.

"my family is coming into town to meet ella next week so that might affect the hours you have." a flash of panic must've been present on your face because he quickly spoke again. "but your pay will still be the same! i don't want you to worry about that at all. i might still need you throughout the week."

"okay!" you smiled before moving ella's morning snack to her high chair. mat peeled her off of him and placed her in the seat before taking the chair next to hers.

his phone dinged again.

"oh," he said.

"what is it?"

"my mom wants to meet you."

"oh."

[bobby-r2d2-floyd]

The Nanny part 2

note: here's part two to the nanny! i'm hopefully going to try and start to get longer pieces out soon, i'm still trying to get back into the swing of writing fics again.

warnings: mentioned of parental death

trigger warning: one sentence in the fourth paragraph that talks about school shooting, but no violence actually occurs.

word count: 1.6k (sorry it's short, between yesterday and today i've had a headache that wouldn't go away :( )

no beta again, we die like men

inspired by: @roosterforme

previous part | next part

------------

You just moved to California, wanting a change from the cold Vermont air and where better to stay than with your aunt, Penny Benjamin. Penny was your mom’s sister, an unfortunate accident in 1999 took your mother and your father, you were 10 years old. Penny was more than willing to take in her only niece, even if it meant having you relocate to Virginia with her. 

Years had passed and Penny had done all but adopt you, she called you her daughter when people asked, made all your appointments for you until you were old enough to make your own, she helped you with boys, and then girls, when you came out to her. She held you while you cried over your first real heartbreak, she taught you all about your period and safe sex. She made you feel comfortable, like you could go to her with any problem that you had, and she would fix it for you.

Maybe it also helped that your grandfather was an admiral in the United States Navy, but that’s beside the point, Penny Benjamin took care of you when you had no one once, and she was more than happy to do it again. 

Being a teacher, especially in today’s world, is hard. You had to worry about whether or not your school was going to fall victim to the next mass shooting, if you could keep your kids safe in an environment where the legislators didn’t care. It was a hard choice to make, leaving the school system, because you knew that they were already understaffed, and that there were no qualified substitute teachers available to take over your position… but between the abuse from your principal, the students, and the entitled parents? You were done.

You at least waited until the end of the school year before packing it all up and moving west. It was a sad goodbye with all the students you had loved but for your sanity, it was what you needed to do.

Penny had an open bedroom, and Amelia was thrilled to be living with you again, mainly so you can help her on her homework, and of course you were happy to see Penny and Pete back together. You always loved having him around when you were a kid, and it really did feel like your relationship with him never waivered, even though you only texted each other for holidays and birthdays after the last time he and Penny “broke up”. 

You were laying on the couch scrolling through your phone, not paying attention to whatever it was Amelia had put on the tv when Penny walked in after her short shift at the bar; it was a slow weekend and Jimmy had it plenty under control.

“Hey, so I might have told one of the guys Pete works with that you’d be willing to nanny for him.” Penny says as soon as she walks in.

“Are you talking to me?” Amelia asks, not looking away from the tv and Penny laughs.

“No, your sister.” 

That catches your attention and you groan.

“I don’t want to nanny some old admiral’s bratty kids.” you say as you sit up and Penny sits next to you.

“He isn’t an old admiral with bratty kids, he’s 35, the same age as Bradley, and he literally just had an infant dropped off on his front porch today.” she tells you and you look over at her. “He needs a lot of help, and you would be perfect for the job. Aside from working at the bar you’re never doing anything.” she shrugs and steals some of the popcorn that was on the table and you look at her with your mouth open.

“Okay, first off. Rude. Secondly, I do plenty of stuff!”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Uh, I help Amelia with her homework.”

“And you can help her while also helping Jake out with his daughter.” Penny says and you sigh.

“Fine.” you grumble and head into the kitchen, “do you eat yet, Pen?”

“Yeah, Pete brought me food to the bar.”

“Don’t you… serve food at the bar too?” 

“Not sushi.” 

You spend the next three weeks waiting to meet this Jake guy. Sure you knew of him, but you didn’t want to be persuaded by the ‘Hangman’ persona that he had before becoming a dad. Sure people don’t just change overnight, so you’re sure he still has quite the mouth and attitude, especially if this baby is keeping him up at night. 

You opened the bar early and the members of the Dagger Squad slowly filtered in. Bob was sitting at the bar with you while you were getting bottles ready, he was telling you a story from when he was a kid on his family’s farm and he was chasing down pigs and slipped and fell in the mud when the bell above the door rang. 

Looking over, you see a man you don’t recognize carrying a little baby in the cutest little dress you’ve ever seen, a diaper bag slung over his other shoulder. You shoot him a smile as he walks up to the bar.

“Hi! I’m Y/N Benjamin, but you can call me Saturn.” you say as you wipe a rag over the bar top, cleaning up some of the iced tea that Bob spilled. “You must be Jake?” 

This new man smiles at you and nods, “Yes ma’am.” he says, setting the diaper bag on a barstool. 

You watch his muscles flex as he shifts his daughter from one side to the other to give his arm a break and he catches you staring at her. “This is Avery.” he turns so you can see the little girl’s face and you let out a gentle little coo.

“Oh look at you! Aren’t you just the cutest little girl.” you say, talking in a voice that has her laughing and reaching out for you. You take her from Jake without even hesitating and she plays with the fingerprint pendants of your parents that you have hanging around your neck. 

Since the bar is still technically closed for another hour and a half, you make your way out from behind the bar and take a seat on the stool next to Bob who smiles at the little girl, pulling away as she tries to reach for his glasses but isn’t quick enough as she rubs her chubby fingers over his lenses. 

You and Jake just laugh at her antics and at poor Bob who is left with baby drool covered glasses for the time being, but even he can’t stay mad at little Avery. She looks up at you, blue-green eyes bright as she smiles her little gummy smile and laughs along with the two of you. 

Jake can’t believe how comfortable Avery already is with you, it took days for her to warm up to anyone aside from Penny; she still doesn’t like Rooster but Jake believes it's a hundred percent because of his mustache. Normally he’s nervous when she’s around strangers of any kind, even her own doctor when she first saw the woman, but with you he’s oddly… comfortable. 

Begrudgingly you hand Avery back to Jake, you have to open the bar in 20 minutes and you’re already way behind but thankfully Bradley volunteers to help you get ready. You’re standing next to him slicing limes as he cuts up some oranges.

“You know, she’s never taken to someone that fast before.” he says, making sure the slices are relatively uniform.

“It’s because I’m a woman.” you tease and he rolls his eyes.

“No, seriously. Penny was a given because she’s just the best, but Phoenix? Bob? She only just started to get along with them, and those two are the best people in this entire squad. It even took her a bit to warm up to Hangman and he’s her dad.” Rooster says, stealing an orange slice that he cut too thin before taking a beer from the fridge under the counter and walking away.” 

“You have to pay for that!” 

“Put it on my tab, Rings!” he calls out, throwing a wink over his shoulder and you roll your eyes, opening a tab for him before going over to the window and flipping the ‘open’ sign on.

You’re about halfway through your shift when Jake walks up to you, Avery sleeping against him despite the volume of the bar. 

“Hey, headed home?” you ask, taking the top off of a few beers before handing them to the patron that was waiting. 

“Yeah, figured she would prefer to sleep in her bed tonight than on the pool table.” he jokes and you give a gentle laugh.

“Yeah, probably.”

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out this weekend? Talk about what Pen offered? If-if you still think you can help me out?” he chews his lip a little, nervous for you to say you’re not interested.

“Yeah! Definitely, uh… here,” you grab a napkin and write your number down with a little cartoon drawing of a circle with a ring around it, how you always signed your nickname. “I’m off on Saturday and Penny isn’t opening on Sunday since it’s going to be such a hot night, she wants us to be off so I’ll be free whenever on both days.” you tell him and he tucks the napkin in his pocket with his phone.

“I’ll text you on Saturday? I can pick you up? Or I mean-” you cut him off with a laugh.

“You can pick me up, I assume you know where Penny lives?” he nods and smiles.

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Great, see you on Saturday, Dad-man.” you give him a wink before turning away to go help Jimmy out with the patrons that have gathered around the bar. Jake laughs and turns around to head out, Dad-man?

-----------

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[mrsjobarnes]

Not the Only Cowboy - Chapter 5

Summary: Jake had never been the type of guy to fall first, maybe you’ll be the one to change that. 

A/N~ Sorry this took so long guys, I had writer's block, and then uni started and it got put on the back burner! However, I’m back and ready to finish this story! Also a huge Thank you to @angel-0f-verdun for helping me with this!

Jake Sersin x Nurse!reader 

Word count: 1,172

Warning: Abuse, Angst, Violence 

Likes & comments are welcome! 

Please do not steal my work! 

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

2 weeks. It took you two weeks for you to leave the guest room. You requested time off and were granted 2 weeks but after that, you’d have to go back, back to the place that no longer felt safe since Blake had found you. 

He had crossed the country to find you, he didn’t care about the restraining order or that you had only packed the essentials and moved. No, you were still his, his to control, his to break, his to own till death, and even after that. You were his baby, his honey, his sugar, and he needs you back home. Your love hasn't always been like this. He was your college sweetheart, you were his tutor. His smart, kind, patient, and outgoing Y/N/N. After he graduated he went into the Navy to be a navigator and you continued your nursing school. Once you had graduated you became a civilian nurse serving on base. It was picture-perfect if you ignored the screaming matches and the occasional pushing and shoving. It didn't get bad until you were treating some of the naval men and he saw them flirting with you. 

That's when the abuse started, he’d beat you within an inch of your life in places no one could see. He’d even threaten to shoot and kill you if you ran away. No one noticed till you were wearing long sleeves in a Virginia July. That's when your charge nurse Maggie asked you. You tried to lie but the 55-year-old saw right through you. She slipped a paper in your locker later that night with several phone numbers to call for help. You knew that she was just looking out for you but, at the moment you felt hurt and angry. Thankfully, the calm part of you kept that note and hid it in your locker. After six months of plotting with Maggie, the clouds parted and Blake was given orders to be deployed for 2 months. You took that as your chance to run. After saying your goodbyes, you sold your car and changed your phone and phone number, opened up a new bank account and purchased a plane ticket to your new haven.  

It was your haven until he showed up. Destroying all you had built up, all of the work you’d put into making this place feel like a safe place had just been squashed by him. So here you are lying in Phoenix’s guest room, scared he’ll break through the second-story windows or the door.  He’d threatened to kill you before who’s to say he won’t kill Phoenix to get to you? You need to start over again, how far would you go this time? Coast hopping didn’t work, maybe you needed to go to a northern state, he did hate the cold. Maybe in a small town in Montana, get a job at a hospital this time. Yes, that should work. You’ll just choose the smallest town possible, maybe ditch your phone and switch to a pager, they still had those right? You hear a knock at the front door. Your blood runs ice cold, and quickly you run into the ensuite bathroom and lock the door. 

“Hey, Y/N it’s just me,” says Phoenix. “I bought groceries, what do you want for dinner?” she asks from the kitchen. You slowly exit the bathroom and start to head to the door, placing your hand on the handle you stop. Maybe you should just run at night and just take what you had here, grab your car, withdraw most of your money from the bank and run. By not telling anyone it would keep them safe right? Turning around, you text Phoenix that you’re not hungry and ask if she is going out tonight. She replies that she is, unless you want to talk. You tell her to enjoy her night and start researching on a private browser about where to go, maybe Sidney, Montana. It seemed small enough that no one would think to look there, now to look at apartments. After googling for about 30 minutes, Phoenix shouts that she’s leaving. Walking over to the window you peer out waiting till she leaves. Once the coast was clear you quickly started packing a bag and making a mental checklist of what you needed to do. 

Pack 

Shower 

get food

Leave a note 

Call Uber to the base 

Bank and gas 

— 

25 minutes had passed and all you needed to do was get food and gas then stop at the bank, but first, you needed to get your car.  You bring all of your things to the door. When all of a sudden you hear someone knocking at the front door. “Fuck” you whisper under your breath. Quietly you grab a kitchen knife and look through the peephole. When you are met with the most perfect green eyes. It was just Jake, you sigh and put the knife down. “Go away Jake,” you say through the door.

“Phoenix gave me a key, I’m coming in,” he asks. 

“No, go away,” you say. He doesn’t listen and slowly enters the apartment. You grab the knife and point it at him, enraged he didn’t listen. “I said don’t come in Jake,” you say, clenching the knife for dear life. As he crosses the threshold, the two of you make eye contact. He has never seen someone so broken and scared, it breaks his heart.  

“Hey Y/N” he says slowly approaching, you clench the knife trying to push back the fear. It's Jake, he’s not going to hurt you, but you thought the same thing of Blake. How could you have been so stupid? “Y/N Imma need you to put the knife down darling, I just want to talk okay?” he said, itching closer to you. 

“Jake please leave, I don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone” 

“No it looks like you're trying to run” he says pointing to the suitcase and backpack next to the door”. 

“Why does it matter if I do? I have only brought trouble into the team's life. I've taken over Phoenix house and probably have a write-up at work for causing a scene. So just let me go, you’ll be fine without me.” you say hesitantly placing the knife down. 

“No” 

“No? What do you mean, No?” you say looking into his eyes. 

“No, what about me? I know that’s selfish but you can’t leave me. I was an ass before I met you, I didn't care if I died on a mission as long as I went out in a blaze of glory, but now you’ve given me something to care about, someone who wants to come home too. So please stay, we can get you help. Cyclone says he could look into it, he just needs your permission.” Jake hesitantly walked up to you and cupped your face. 

“Can you promise that you won't hurt me? '' You say as your eyes glisten with tears. 

“I promise,” Jake says, pulling you into a hug. 

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[septembersung]

@citadelofthestars You are in luck because I just overhauled our entire chore system for the new school year so this is all fresh on my mind.

Context: this was from the post about making chores fair for kids and not requiring more domestic labor of girls than boys or having sisters clean up after brothers but never vice versa.

The following sounds complicated but it’s not? It evolved organically based on what our house needs and fits into how I organize the rest of my life. And, ymmv based on kids’ ages, temperament, and varieties of neurodivergence. My kids are all under 11 and we homeschool and half of us are probably adhd, so we’re still learning skills and also in our space making messes a lot. I would also like to emphasize that I am so bad about chores. Hence the system. When we follow through… it’s amazing. And then we don’t and we start over again (distant screaming.)

We do chores 2-3 times a day on school weekdays (or… sometimes once… but that’s a rough day for cleanliness) and everybody helps at mealtimes. Everybody gives me an hour or a set number of chores on Saturday. We aim to have the house “Sunday ready” by dinnertime Saturday.

Morning chores: this is their chance to take care of their personal space: bed, desk, laundry tidy, that sort of thing. It’s part of general getting ready. After this, the big 3-4 kids help with animal chores (and gardens when applicable) except when they’ve fractured a bone like kid 4 currently has. In some seasons the big 3 will each have an easy first thing kitchen chore like “empty the dishwasher” but not usually during the first part of school year. Mornings are hard for us so we have to get into school routine fir a whole first.

Afternoon chores: By age and ability. Mostly, one-off jobs like change out laundry, put away your laundry, take out trash, entertain a little for 20 minutes so I can have free hands for a separate task, help make the afternoon snack, etc. (Our lives run in 20 minute increments it feels like. I have a timer for everything. It’s what keeps me on task.) I expect big kids (7+) to do 2-4 tasks in this time depending on what the tasks are and under 7s to do one or two things tops, with me. Laundry is a coveted job but the rule is you have to be able to read the label on the knob and reach the bottom of the washer. We’re always behind so I decide as we go what the next load is, and if it’s your basket you’ll be called to help me load even if you’re not big enough to do it independently. Everybody folds (except the 1yo. Because she thinks it’s a keepaway game.)

We have a basic laminated grid on the wall with a column for each kid and little chore stickers with Velcro buttons on the back. (Well, we will when I print and hang the updated version.) Stuff no one likes doing I assign in 2 month increments or more (for habit and technique building) like scrubbing the bathroom; things everyone wants to do, like dust mop, they trade off each week or so. My oldest is so possessive of his sweeping job it’s possible no one else will ever sweep that bit of floor again. But there’s so much else to sweep I’m not too worried tbh.

I try to reset the chart for changeable chores every weekend. In my new and improved version there’s a section for each chore time, and separate for meals, instead of one long column under your name, and you have two columns!, so you move your little chore sticker from “undone” to “done.” Also contemplating have a little sack of random chores to draw from, like a scrabble tile bag, because “contribute positively to the family” is our go to consequence for misbehavior.

Evening chores: This is when we “get in the zone”. Your zone is one specific area of the house you are responsible for. You can do it on your own as you like to stay on top of it or wait til during the fast zone tidy which comes right before or after dinner. And it is fast, like maximum 20 minutes and 10 is better. Big 3 kids rotate between dining room, living room, and main bathroom. Little kids share the playroom. Everybody helps in their own bedroom at the end for 5-10 minutes. I cycle through and help everybody as needed unless something urgent calls me.

Meal time jobs include: table, chairs, floor, dishes (load up or wash by hand.) We’re working up to include kitchen floor and counters as the big kids take on more responsibility for cooking. Again the big 3 kids rotate among the more skilled jobs, while the little 3 trade out what they help scrub and sweep and carry.

Saturdays the kids will do a more irregular job, like “clean out the van” (which is all hands on deck together) or a periodic job like “mop or vacuum your zone” or “scrub cabinets.” We mostly discuss these jobs each week depending on what seems most needed instead of having a specific thing on the chart. (In my improved version the Velcro buttons say “Saturday chore time” in the little Saturday section at the bottom.)

This is probably way more detail than you ever needed in your life, but here we are. Happy planning!

[lovethetasteofnothing]

good parenting, bad timing | ghostsoap

silly feverish brain writes silly fluffy scenarios..

part 1 | part 2

singleparent!soap who's bringing his daughter on her first day at a new school. she clearly isn't happy with the fact that she had to move again and she's complaining about how much she doesn't like ("hate is a very strong word my wee angel, yee should use it wise-like") her daddy's job. a sweet frown on her face as he tries to coax her into going into the school by herself because he's already running late.

but he can't help giving in when he sees the tears filling up her big puppy eyes, his arms wrapping around her and squeezing her as if to remind her he'll always be there for her. she was so different, yet so similar to him in so many ways, but the way she was so shy to warm up to people and make new friends was really the biggest discrepancy between the two of them.

so that's how singleparent!soap ended up late for work, choosing to be a good dad and help his little girl navigate the school until she reached her class. he knew how hard it was for her to constantly adapt to the change in environment, moving around or being left in someone's care while he went away, no promise was made that he'd return to her. and to be honest, it hurt his soul to see her suffering so deeply while he served for something he believed in.

and it broke his ego a little when he noticed his new team just staring at him when he showed up 10 minutes late, a specifically loud scoff accompanied by bitter words throwing him off for the rest of the day.

"so we're taking anyone in now, is it?" more of a mock than a remark. singleparent!ghost knew he was being a prick right now but after sleeping for barely a few hours last night he could care less if the new sergeant felt welcome or not.

besides the draining insomnia and the terrifying nightmares he suffered if he managed to sleep, he also had a little scoundrel to take care of. she resembled her pop, of course she did, but he knew deep down that she was so much more of a people-person than he was and would ever be. so when he woke up startled by his daughter's hand gently shaking him awake, he knew he had his fill of sleep for the night.

he had to pull her up and sit her down on his bed, wiping away crocodile tears from her blue eyes as she started talking about her nightmare and then drifted away to easy conversation about her day at school, the details she missed and whatever else she had found interesting that day. Simon couldn't complain, knowing that his daughter trusted, even loved him enough to share all of these things with him.

singleparent!ghost who wrapped her in a comfortable embrace, stroking her hair and nodding along to her story as he felt her drifting off to sleep. he knew he was too awake now to get any more winks of rest so he just spent the rest of the night holding his precious daughter, making sure she wouldn't get another nightmare like her daddy did.

he had promised himself to offer her a (great) childhood, something he had been robbed of and would never experience again. a thorn in his side whenever he thought about his life.

so when her mom left two years ago and simon was faced with the cold hard fact that he had to do everything by himself from now on, he felt like the world was falling apart. besides losing a lover he had put so much trust in, he had lost an important piece of his kid's life. for weeks he'd blame himself and think about the worst case scenario ,about his little princess growing up despising him for making her mom leave.

he had recovered, partially at least. he still blamed himself for the entirety of the fiasco. maybe he should have been a better boyfriend, proposed sooner, asked to be serious after they had had a kid. but he knew commitment meant inevitably losing someone and he wasn't ready to put it down on a piece of paper. to him it felt like signing a contract with the devil, knowing that the end goal was your own personal suffering.

but now he didn't have time to think about home or his ex, not when there was so much to do and so little time before he had to run and pick up his girl, bring her home and continue his tasks.

"get a clock next time, Sergeant. nobody likes a tardy soldier" he didn't know what had gotten into him... he was being oddly rude even for his usual self. Simon blamed it on the two hours of sleep.

even though the day went well and nobody had managed to piss him off except for the unhappy Sgt, he found himself constantly pestering the new man, a few snarky comments unintentionally leaving his mouth throughout the day. there was something about him that unsettled simon.

singleparent!ghost didn't have time for this though as he went to pick up his girl. the happiest man on earth when she ran and jumped in his arms. he wasn't wearing that scary mask anymore, his daughter and her friends didn't like it; or the balaclava because his girl always complained that she couldn't see any of daddy's face and it made her sad.

so he had to compromise and wear a simple black mask instead, still keeping part of his identity concealed.

but today she wasn't alone, no. it wasn't unusual for her to bring a friend over and ask if they could hang out but he wasn't familiar with the girl from today, he hadn't seen her before.

"daddy! daddy! can Blair come and play with me this week? please daddy, please?" his daughter always spoke so quickly, so enthusiastic about the topic at hand that it was hard to understand her sometimes. it was moments like these when he remembered that she was only partially like him, the chaotic and sweet side of her behavior coming from her now absent mother.

"we'll need to talk to her parents, won't we, princess?" he agreed with her softly, kneeling down and introducing himself to the new little girl. she seemed shy to say the least, her demeanor was neutral, almost a frown, even though her tone was so gentle and she had attempted to give him an awkward smile while talking. how come his daughter always found a new type of personality to attach her own to?

"Blair, pet, ah told ye to wait by the front gate. Ye got me all worried-" Soap was trying so hard not to let the shock show through on his face.

he hadn't recognized him at first, not when he saw just part of his face covered by a black mask, but his uniform was a dead giveaway, there was no way he could mistake him. did that fucking lieutenant have to show up here too?

"late again, Sergeant?"

this is the fanart that inspired the brainrot <3

creds divider: @/cafekitsune

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: the outer numbers and their potential meaning for your year ahead

tw: mentions of death/suicide

the outer rim of the wyrd web foretells the themes of our year ahead. today i will be covering some basic topics that people tend to wonder about the future - that being said, these are basic premises; in no way does one number mean a single thing. each number can mean different things - multiple things. your lack of a number correlated with an experience below does not mean to minimize your experience with the topics (e.g., you had a child but don't have the number, you lost someone important to you but don't have the number, etc.) these are simply my observations (also observations are not destined to be true, they are simply possibilities / increased odds).

indicators that are important for love/relationships

5 (the institution of marriage -> getting married)

6 (meeting an important life partner)

13 (double edged sword looking at the death card - signifies change in relationship status OR it could be a new beginning in a relationship)

19 (renewing vow for preexisting love)

21 (a new phase in a relationship)

22 (a new beginning in the relationship)

indicators of having a child

1 (connecting a new spirit with the physical realm)

2 (a symbol of fertility)

3 (another symbol of fertility)

8 (the flower chain - an umbilical cord - connects two beings)

10 (again connecting a new spirit with the physical realm)

12 (the hanged man is sort of in cephalic presentation, which is the position babies are born in for most vaginal births)

14 (a promising sign for people who struggle with fertility)

19 (it's literally a kid on a pony on this card lol)

21 (the completion of a cycle - full 9 months of pregnancy might even have a late birth compared to due date)

22 (a new adventure - parenthood - begins)

indicators of career change

1 (good for starting your own business)

4 (stepping into a leadership role)

5 (moving up the ladder in your career OR going back to school to study)

6 (having beneficial coworker / business partner OR doing what you love)

10 (new job opportunities OR getting a raise or big bonus)

13 (a big change in what you previously were doing)

16 (changing career path completely and finding a new way of earning money that you pervious hadn't explored)

17 (finding a new job after struggling for a long time to find one)

21 (getting a raise)

indicators of loss

2 (the end of a life cycle and seeing the reality of change/time)

9 (the image of age)

10 (the end / a shift in a life cycle)

12 (peaceful but unexpected loss - this is not always a suicide indicator)

13 (the death of a beloved relative - you'll probably struggle with their death/passing)

16 (a sudden/tragic death)

20 (peaceful and expected loss - typically sick/elderly individuals in your life)

21 (the end of a life cycle)

indicators of moving/traveling

1 (the magician has all his stuff laid out in front of him - he is packing or unpacking)

7 (could indicate a moving truck OR travel in general)

9 (moving out on your own OR going on a long term trip)

13 (leaving a home you've lived in for a long time OR taking a life changing trip)

19 (going somewhere you never have been before)

21 (again going somewhere you have never been before OR moving after living somewhere a long time)

22 (moving somewhere far away OR going on a trip with short (spontaneous trip) notice)

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[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 2

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

helloooooooooooooooooooo welcome back (i started like a freaking youtuber LOL) part 1 was emmm, it was a rollercoaster. A BIG ONE

— ୨୧₊˚ click here to read part 1 :)

im super super super excited for this part 'cause finally something cute is happening, literally those things that happened in part 1... WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. WE WENT THROUGH IT, AND WE ARE BACK. part 2. let's do it

「 ✦ 6th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 6𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

summer 1976 - I left grimmuald place 12 and ran away to remus. sirius did the same some weeks before me, and we were both burn out of the "Black Family Tree"

July/August - James Potter and Lily are named Head Boy and Head Girl.

October/November - Lily finally agreeded and started to go out with James for some dates

this are basics from og timeline because i don't want to spoil anything

ＳＵＭ ＭＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ a little reminder about what happened in last part - me and remus got together, and basically we are girlfriend and boyfriend, we spent time with each other more, trying to get ourselves more into this change yk 🥹

OKAY ANYWAY

after last day of school me and remus promised ourselves that we will write to each other as much as possible. boys did not know about ‘us’ because we didn’t know if this whole relationship will work 😭 so it was our little secret, but not for long tho

in july, when me and sirius were back at grimmuald place, sirius got himself into a HUGE fight with our father, and said to me “idk what you gonna do, but i will not stay here any longer”. he did not tell me where would he go, some days after this fight he left in a middle of the night. he just left me a note to do the same, and that in some weeks he will let me know where he is. i kept that ‘letter’ to myself.

when i tell you that walburga was PISSED. P I S S E D . as well as our father. they would fight over it, and finally, when it was clear that sirius is not coming back, they burned sirius face out of this family tree.

ar least they are proud of regulus 👍 good job mate. you will die. soon. like girllllll

especially that i’m super attached to him. he is my little brother and i knooooow that when i will shift again his death is gonna hit me like a train, BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT THIS RN LETS GET BACK

when sirius left walburga was super suspicious about me and always was looking at me, controlled everything etc. i knew that if she would find out about remus, she would probably punish me for it or smth, so i sent last letter to remus that he should not write to me because my parents went WILD over this whole situation.

in august i felt empty??? i could not get any letters from remus, i missed him, i missed sirius. he did not sent me any letter after he left, but i knew that it’s probably because he knew what the hell is going on in the house rn. also, regulus started to ignore me, like walburga and orion did. annnnnnnndddddd that’s when i didn’t back off, and started shouting at him (reggie) and when walburga heard it, she wasn’t happy 💀💀 so she decided to fucking punish me, but this time i was like “hell no, fuck off” and the same night i left grimmuald place 12 behind me, in my past. i took everything i could with me, some clothes, books, and it was whole huge operation, because walburga and orion are those kind of people that when something moves behind some walls, they wake up. so what i did, was that i added sleep potion that i made in my room to their drinks that they were having before going to sleep. well, it worked HA.

but when i left this house, i was like “bombastic, but what am i going to do now 😭😭😭😭😭 i was literally without any house, i did not want to bother anybody, especially that it was 2am in the morning 💀 andromeda did not tell us where she lived so i had no idea where i should go, and the only person that i could think of then was remus. i knew where he lived, he wrote me his address in one of letters i got from him.

so i went there. by foot. call me crazy but i did that. i took some muggle bus and was on his street around 4am. i knew it was very early but i hoped that he will not be mad about it, or his father. they were living at the edge of london, it was quiet and lovely place to live. when i was looking round for his house, as there were only few of them, i looked up and i saw that it was full moon 😭 and i didn’t realise that before. so i was still looking for around like 25 minutes, and i finally found it. AND YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN MY FACE WHEN I SAW THAT LIGHT IN THE HOUSE WERE TURNED ON

LYALL LUPIN WAS AWAKE

THANK GOD

so i went to the door and knocked. i saw some movement in the window and was like “yuppp this man will think that i’m a freak. good job to me i guess” i waited a few minutes and he finally opened the door. i started apologising to him that i’m sorry that i’m here at 4 in the morning, that i know his son etc. then he fully opened the door and it wasn’t lyall lupin IT WAS REMUS 😭😭😭😭 i literally was so so so happy, i mean, he was shocked, i was shocked too because i thought that it was a full moon that night, i hugged him and he hugged me back IT WAS SO CUTE IM ABOUT TO CRY I WANNA GO BACK THERE SO BADLY

so we stayed in this position for some minutes and he finally made a step back, looked at me and said “what are you doing here?” so i started to tell him what happened few hours before, that sirius is somewhere god knows where, that he should write to me but i know why he didn’t, i was talking really fast and finally he was like “yo chill out, just come in and we will talk about it later, you need to sleep” (yup i’m living my y/n life LMAO) so basically he took my things upstairs and told me to sleep in his bedroom, and that he will figure out what to do later. so i went to sleep

— ୨୧₊˚ lupin’s house

it was like 11 am when i woke up, so i just went down the stairs to find remus, but he wasn’t there, so i just looked around and guess who i met in the kitchen 😭😭😭 lyall lupin ladies and gentlemen 😭😭😭 he was like “emmm you are tara right?” and i was like “yessss that’s me 💀” he was just walking around the kitchen, but he was nice to me tho. he said that remus went to james to tell him that i’m here. i was like “oh yup okay” so later i found out that sirius was living at james house the whole time 😭

so i wrote a letter to him telling him that i am at remus now, but i said that i don’t want to bother his family, so probably i will leave in a few days (i didn’t LMAO, remus stopped me) so that’s how i was living for next month, until school started. i got along with remus father, he is a nice guy, also he has good sense of humour, thank GOD 😭 idk finally i felt loved and as i was at my own home. thanks to the lupins 🫶

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

lyall left few days before school started, he said that if i would need anything, he can buy me some things on street, but i was fine, as walburga buys everything that is needed already in june, so yup, i was stated for new school year 🫡

on a 1st day i finally saw sirius again, gosh i never thought that i would be happy only by seeing him in a crowd. remus told me what happened after sirius left grimmuald place 12, at least the part that he knew about. by this i also mean that he forgave him about what happened, so we were all good 🫶

on a train i found out that james and lily were chosen to become next head boy and head girl, which is the reason why they got onto each other.

sooooo me and remus relationship was still a secret, but i think that boys could feel the change between us, especially sirius, i mean it was kinda obvious 😭 we did not “hide” it, we just did not tell them 💀 there were signs, like sometimes remus put his arm around my back and hold me like this, or during the day when i tried to keep contact with him. basically only lily knew about me and remus. i told her right after everything happened in june, sooooo yup she knew since the very beginning.

whole September we were all excited to start new school year, but something started to feel different ??? but that was because of war.

but let’s concentrate on hogwarts rn 😭

so me and boys still took turns to stay with remus during full moons, remus wanted to complain about it because of what happened few months before, but he finally said yes.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ boys find out about me and remus

soooo everything was fine at hogwarts, we were doing great, james and lily started to talk to each other, she would tell me about the conversations they had, but when i asked her “do you like him” she acted like she was angry and ignored the question or answered me with “don’t be ridiculous” soooo yk something was going on between them (finally) also sirius and remus told me that james is talking about her ALL THE TIME and that they are super tired of it. about peter,well, he was quiet as always 😭 so nothing changed.

me and remus were even more opened about our relationship, we were more confident about it? we were showing it ig 😭 and on one day in the middle of october, sirius, james and peter caught us in a common room and told us to sit down, their face went literally 🤨🤨🤨 and james started talking “okay what the HELL is going on here” so i looked at remus, remus looked at me, and i finally said “oh yeah we re together” and sirius went WILDDDD he literally looked at remus and went “THATS MY SISTER YOU MANIAC” and started chasing remus across the common room 😭 it was SO FUNNY 😭😭 after they were done (about 10 minutes later lmao💀) we just sat down in their dormitory and they were doing this police kind of thing where they are asking questions and shit 💀 pretty crazy but yup they knew since then

and because of that we could be more open about us and be ourselves bc of that. sirius was sometimes overdramatic about it but he got used to it i guess LMAO

also sirius got himself into detention 😭😭😭 AGAIN i’m super sick of this at some point 💀💀 he started to bully severus again, so i get it, but now lily did not react (he called mudblood as yk)

but james was a little bit out of business, because he wanted to impress lily, and you could see that. literally he was not helping sirius and peter with their pranks for a while, so he could convince lily to him, which was so cute ☹️

ＮＯＶＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 17 birthdayyy

in the beginning of november me and sirius got letter from andromeda, that she heard about our escape from grimmuald place 12 and that she is super proud of us 😭😭😭 she asked if we have some place to stay and etc. to be honest, i didn’t think about it 💀 i didn’t want to bother remus but still i was too young to bus myself a house from money that i saved. sirius told me in the beginning of school year that he will stay at james during next summer, so he could later buy a house from money that he got from ⭐️

i just wrote back to andromeda that i’m okay, and i just did not think about it. it was not time for that too.

also, from weird things that happened in november is that on random day, when i was leaving great hall with remus after lunch, regulus wanted to talk to me??? like excuse you i guess? but yup he’s my little brother, i was worrying about him the whole time tbh 😭 so remus did not want to go away, he checked if i’m okay with him leaving, i just nodded, so he hugged me and just left 😭

SO ABOUT REGULUS CAUSE IM STILL BAD OKAY

he did not even say “hi” or shit, he just went

“oh so you are with H I M”

and i was like bro what? since when we are talking to each other like this??? what happened to hello? how was your day???

also he was nervously checking if the hall that we were standing in was clear. which was pretty mad, but i figured it out after i shifted back that he just wanted to check if any slytherins saw us 💀 he looked a little bit scared too. OKAY ANYWAY

so i went “why do you care”

AND HE RESPONDED “you are a blood traitor”

I WAS SO MAD. SO. MAD.

“that’s the reason why you stopped me?”

AND BARE WITH ME RN CAUSEEEEEE

“no.” he made a dramatic pause here lol??? “you know you can both still fix this”

MY JAW WAS ON A FLOOR I SWEAR, BECAUSE THEN HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE “you need to choose the right side. like mother said”

HE THREATENED ME TO JOIN LORD FUCKING VOLDEMORT.

BRO. WHAT THE FUCK.

hell no. I WAS SO PISSED SO P I S S E D

“reggie” “do not bother me again, please”

that’s all i said. the silence was LOUD, it was SCREAMING i think it was this moment that i knew that even if i tried, i would never convince reggie that lord voldemort and death eaters are not a good way to go to (if yk what i mean 😭) so i just walked away. and when i tell you i CRIED. i did not talk to sirius about it, i did not talk to remus about it, even tho both of them were trying to get out the convo between me and regulus of me LMAO, i knew that i would hurt sirius so i kept it to myself

ANYWAY

happy birthday to me and sirius i guess 😭😭😭

i am officially 17 in this dr 🤭

sirius ofc threw the whole party, but i passed. i wanted peace lmao. remus sat with me in his dormitory and we played some games, then dorcas and lily joined us, then james and peter. we had so much fun, it’s such a core memory 🫶🥹 I MISS THEM SO MUCH i’m sooooo homesick but yup i just gotta make my way back there (somehow)(even tho i know next shifts are gonna be awfully full of angst, i’m not ready tbh)

during the full moon this month me and james took care of remus ❤️‍🩹

ＤＥＣＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

okay sooooo HAPPY NEWS ABOUT JAMES AND LILY

basically james asked her out for a date and she said YES

WE WERE CELEBRATING and lily finally told me she likes him a lot and that if he would not be such a dumb-ass sometimes she would talk to him earlier 😭😭😭 i’m super happy for them literally waited for that moment for SO LONG. and sirius threw a little party in their dormitory so everyone were happy ❤️‍🩹

on christmas ofc we gave each other presents, but sirius went CRAZY this time.

1. he started dating a girl called daisy from ravenclaw (which was pretty crazy cause he didn’t pull up any girl for like a year or something?) this time he said that he really like her and will try to keep this relationship for longer than 3 weeks (they lasted like 3 months maybe 💀 james even made bets at this point 😭)

2. sirius and james were running around common room with a mistletoe to force people to kiss including me and remus 😭😭 pls guys i love them so much but WHAT

james and lily went out few times during december, and when lily was coming back to our dorm she was super happy and even tho she still had her opinion “but he is a dumb-ass sometimes🙄🙄🙄” she seemed to really like him???

sooooo also james invited sirius, remus, peter, lily, dorcas (and more actually it was a full-ass list with names of like 15 people and i’m too lazy to name all of them sorry 😭😭 maybe during editing i will do it) for new year’s eve, so we all needed to left hogwarts for christmas 😭 like girl i DONT HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE RN 💀 sirius stayed with james at his house, and remus told me that lyall is not coming back for christmas so we can go and live at his house for those 2 weeks, and we decided to do so ❤️‍🩹🥺 GUYS YOU DONT GET IT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHHH PLS BRING ME BACK OMG

okay.

so.

i spent whole 2 weeks only with remus, it was super cute and cozyyy we decorated his house and baked (at least i did bc i was 17 and i could use magic legally outside hogwarts 💀) we had fun. truly these 2 weeks refreshed me soooo much, ALSO

LYALL LUPIN GOT ME A CHRISTMAS PRESENT 😭😭😭���� it was little bracelet that remus told him i would like, pls lyall is such a nice guy 😭

and also i think the most memorable moment from these 2 weeks is remus christmas present, and by that i mean, he bought two tickets to “muggle” opera, and it was AMAZING. later the same night he told me the story how his parents met, and we played his mother records (i scripted that she was an opera singer!!!)

— ୨୧₊˚ new year’s eve

so me and remus needed to take a ride with this crazy wizard bus 😭😭😭 but we made it and spent THE BEST NEW YEAR’s EVE EVER. we had so much fun 😭 also i found out how many things in common me and dorcas have, which is funny because we were “friends” literally we live in one dorm 💀 but that night i got to know her more which is great bc we became closer as roommates. okay so basically during the midnight, when clock hit 12pm, there is this tradition that you have to kiss somebody for luck. so yup me and remus kissed (my cutie patootie ☹️) BUT ALSO WHEN I WAS GOING OUTSIDE WITH SIRIUS, REMUS, DORCAS AND OTHERS I SAW JAMES KISSING LILY???? I WAS SO HAPPY likeeeeee pls 😭

ＪＡＮＵＡＲＹ, ＦＥＢＲＵＡＲＹ, ＭＡＲＣＨ ＡＮＤ ＡＰＲＩＬ

i wil speed up those few months because nothing really happened except for some birthdays, and that was all because our exams, I WAS SO STRESSED IDK WHY i know that i will pass them perfectly (duhh) but i was stressed anyway. crazy time tbh lmao, everybody were busy.

about james and lily - they started to ‘officially date’ each other, which made me super happy, they are so cute 😭😭😭

also sirius broke up with this girl from ravenclaw, so it did not last long LMAO

and peter and sirius got themselves into a HUGE detention from mcgonagall for messing up her office 💀 which was crazy, we got -100 points from our house. you should have seen her, she was SO MAD. i’ve never seen mcgonagall so angry

ＭＡＹ

okayyyy so may was super chill month EXCEPT the final quidditch match. between gryffindor and slytherin it was AMAZING

okay so i probably did not write about that bc i did not find that necessary it still, i okay quidditch on one of ‘beater’ positions so yuppp i play quidditch 🤭 AND IT’S SO MICH FUNNN

anyway, gryffindor won after james found that goddamn little gold ball, when i tell you he was so annoyed bc he couldn’t catch it 😭😭 HE WAS SO PISSED, but we won 🤭

and after some other days of school work i “shifted back 😭” to cr

「 ✦ end notes ✦ 」

it was 2 months and im still there tbh 😭

ANYWAY

This shift was so crazy??? and fun???? and sad??? and cute??? AT THE SAME TIME.

i am now remus lupin gf. yup I WON

i’m so happy and i just can’t wait to shift there again 😭😭😭😭😭

remember that i will edit this page! there are A LOT to edit but i’m to lazy to do so 🤭

anyway BYE

[porchlightfairy]

Shoot for the Moon part 1

part 1 | part 2

rockstar!eddie x reader

summary: Eddie returns home under particular circumstances.

warnings: major character death. cancer mention

wc: 1.4k+

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You and Eddie were high school sweethearts. The true definition of forever. Everyone thought you two were soulmates. You supported Eddie through his music and he was so happy to start a family with you. You guys had gotten married young and you were ready to settle down and start a family.

But at the same time Eddie’s music career was moving rather quickly. You had discussed that if anything major were to happen you would stick together through it all. But that changed once Eddie was given the chance to perform to music producers. It seemed like everything you built in your lives came crumbling down. It had been several weeks since you and Eddie had seen each other. It was like you were playing chase on the telephone not being able to get ahold of one another long enough.

Eddie sat at the payphone in the venue praying that you would pick up. He was in California while you were probably in bed in Indiana. After the second to last ring, he hears the line pick up, “Hello?” You mumble.

“Hey baby! I know it’s late but I let the week slip by and I forgot to call you earlier. There’s just been a lot going on—”

“Eddie, it’s 2 in the morning. You thought now was a good time to call?” You sigh

“I know, I know, I’m really sorry. A lot has been going on, I’m sorry.”

“It seems like you can’t answer the phone when you tell me when to call but now is a good time for you. Whatever it is, I am sure it can wait.” You grumble, “Eddie, I’m tired and I don’t want to deal with this, I’ve got errands to run in the morning. Call me at a reasonable hour?” 

“Wait, baby, let me just tell you—” The line goes dead. Eddie hangs up the phone. He wouldn’t be able to call you back. You never seemed to be around to answer his calls. And his uncle claimed to not see you around either. You had drifted too far apart for him to even talk to you.

Years had passed and Eddie was on the up and up with his band Corroded Coffin. They were on the cover of Rolling Stones, reached the top 100 of Billboard, and accumulated millions through album sales and concert ticket sales. 

Being the frontman of the group came with its perks as well. He was everyone’s favorite and had a tendency to be abrasive. Chicks on his arm every night, signing boobs, and just being all around vulgar. And even as the group got older they were still the same. However, as things start to slow down for their music careers, Eddie is going to get some terrible news.

He wakes up in a plush bed tangled in sheets and limbs, he slips out of bed and heads downstairs for some breakfast. When he reaches the bottom step he sees his manager and the rest of the band sitting in his living room with sullen faces. “Jesus, who crapped in your guys’ captain crunch.”

“Eddie,” His manager, Bobby, sighs.

He laughs at his own joke not hearing his manager speak before heading into the kitchen to get something to eat. “Well, since you guys are here, we should talk about the next album, sounds good?”

“Eddie.” He says again.

“Look, I know what you’re going to say. We should be keeping up appearances for right now but I was kinda hoping for a rebrand of some sort, like a new paint job or—”

“Eddie!” Bobby shouts. Eddie stops in his tracks, “Just stop for a minute okay. We need to talk.”

“About what?” He scoffs, “Why do you all look like someone died?”

“Because,” Bobby sighs again, “Your ex-wife, Eddie, she passed away.”

Eddie’s heart sinks into his stomach and his ears begin to burn red hot. He couldn’t be hearing that right. You were dead. Gone. No longer living, existing anymore? He swallows hard and blinks a few times, “What… uh… what happened? What happened to her?”

“Cervical cancer.” Bobby looks to the floor. “It was unexpected, her lawyer contacted me and it appeared unexpectedly….”

He can’t hear anymore. He recalls the last time he saw you, in the courthouse for your divorce. You both sat in silence as you negotiated with each other the circumstances, alimony and the like. You didn’t want any of his new money, you just wanted the marriage to be nullified.

He sits on a stool and lets out a shaky breath. “Eddie? Eddie? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?” His face had gone pale, “What… what’d you say?”

“You should take some time, go back home, and go to the burial.” Bobby says. “I know your head is probably swimming right now so we’re going to go but please Eddie, don’t stay here in darkness, okay?”

Each of his bandmates give him a pat on the shoulder and a hug for comfort before taking their leave. Eddie throws out the people in his bed and he slowly begins to pack. With a shaky hand he dials his uncle’s number. He holds his breath as he waits for an answer. He felt ashamed that this was the only time that he had actively sought out for his uncle. Now that you are dead.

“Hello?” He hears the familiar grovel of Wayne’s voice on the line.

“Hey, Wayne. It’s been, it’s been a long time huh?” Eddie hears the quiver in his own voice.

There’s silence on the other end, “So you heard.”

“Y-yeah,” He clears his throat, “I’m packing now to come home. I know, its fucked up of me but I just I need to.”

“I understand, son. I’ll be waiting for ya.” He says.

And with that, the call ends and Eddie sits in silence as he prepares himself to go back home. The musician gets a red eye flight to Indianapolis where he would take a greyhound all the way to his uncle’s house.

Eddie felt his heart sink as he got closer and closer to his destination. He hadn’t visited home since leaving it all behind. The divorce was the last time he set foot in Hawkins. Packing his stuff in a moving van and never seeing you again. His heart twangs as he thinks about it.

Soon he arrives at his uncle’s hand and sees the man waiting outside for him. “Eddie,” He stands up as Eddie approaches. They hug in a familiar embrace, then Wayne packs her back. “You look good.”

Eddie lets out a soft chuckle, “Heh, not like you don’t see me on the tv all the time.”

“Mmh, good to see you in person.” He holds the younger man’s face in his hands. His eyes were saddened. “Eddie, I’ve got to tell you something important.” He holds Eddie’s shoulder as he walks they walk into the house.

Instantly, Eddie is hit with a sudden warmth from the house. It felt lived in. He walks further into the house when he notices several frames in the living room. “Eddie, listen, a lot has happened since you’ve been gone. And she really didn’t want to say anything about it because…” Wayne watches as Eddie steps closer to the frames. He has trouble forming the words as Eddie looks at the pictures on the wall.

Eddie stares intensely at the images. There was you smiling with a black and white ultrasound photo in your hand. Next to that was a picture of you and Wayne, he had his hand on your stomach and you had little pink booties in yours. It’s a girl was spelled on a banner above your heads. 

Eddie’s ears grew hot as he continued to look at the photos. There was a picture of you in the hospital holding a baby in your arms, tears in your eyes. Then a first birthday, then a second, third and so on. This little girl is at the center of them all. She had a beautiful smile like her mom and large brown eyes. Eyes that stared back at him everytime he looked in the mirror.

“She didn’t want to tell you any of this. She thought it was for the best that you didn’t know her.”

Eddie’s lip quivers, his mouth is dry as he stares in disbelief. Just as he is about to speak he hears footsteps traveling down the stairs, “Grandpa have you seen mom’s…” Eddie turns around and sees a young girl standing on the steps. A spitting image of her mother except those eyes, the pools of primordial darkness that stared back at him.

“Are you… Are you my dad?”

[immortal-imagines]

Sabotage - Part 1

Summary: The start of a new uni year brings new classmates, new lessons and a new professor.

Parts: 1, 2, 3 (to be continued)

(professor!Joel x Reader)

Warnings: mentions of smut, alcohol, swearing

Word Count: 1,435

A/N: I’m starting a professor Joel series, which I’m having loads of fun writing so far! Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future parts.

 ~

It was the first day back after what felt like forever. A summer to remember they’d said. You’d had enough alcohol in your body to forget the year let alone the last couple of months. It was all change this term though. Taking on a Masters had never been something you’d considered, until you finished undergrad and had no clue what came next. Another year of lectures, why the fuck not? An MA in English lit? Sure.

You had one friend who decided to take on the challenge with you, Kelsey. You’d picked a flat together just outside of campus – nothing special, but bigger than you expected to get for your budget. Living room, kitchen, pretty standard and brimming with party possibilities. Your bedroom was somehow the biggest. You weren’t sure how you’d managed to wrangle that one, but you weren’t going to complain.

The UK rarely got warm days, especially in September, but for some reason the universe decided move in day was going to be a million degrees. You and Kelsey heaved box after box up the stairs of your new apartment complex. Sweaty was an understatement. And of course you were on the third floor with no lift.

“Do you… do you think we’ll ever feel cool again?” Kelsey huffed, wheeling what you hoped was the last suitcase through the door. You wiped your forehead with the back of your hand, wrinkling your nose at the amount of moisture that came off. “Please tell me there’s nothing else?” No sooner had you said those words, the door to the flat next door opened, revealing a tanned, toned looking Ken doll of a man. All muscles, abs and blonde.

Kelsey straightened up, frantically brushing fly-aways down and tugging at her now damp tank top.

The guy leant on the door frame of his flat and flashed you both a Ryan Gosling style grin. “You ladies need a hand?”

You had to restrain yourself from an eye roll. Sure, he was hot, but it was textbook pickup lines. Plus you were way too hot for sex. Kelsey didn’t seem to agree. She put on her best sex eyes, biting her lip.

If you weren’t careful you’d end up unpacking this whole flat yourself.

“I think we’re…”

“I could use some help,” Kelsey interrupted you. She gave you a quick, stern look, before looking back at the guy.

“I got some help in here,” the guy gestured to his apartment, looking Kelsey up and down.

“One sec,” Kelsey held up a finger to him, turning to you, whispering, “I’ll love you forever if you let me go with him. I’ll help unpack later, I promise.”

You shrugged. “Have fun. But if you’re not back in two hours I’m calling the police and assuming you’ve been murdered.”

Kelsey beamed. “Thanks, you’re the best.”

The guy held his hand out, which she took, and they disappeared into his flat.

You looked at all the boxes strewn around the living room. That was a job for tomorrow, when you didn’t feel like you were going to melt. You took your suitcase and dragged it into your bedroom. At least this room could be unpacked.

Just as you unzipped it, you heard the unmistakable moan then thud of what you assumed was Kelsey’s back against the wall. Shower. You would have a cold shower first.

Kelsey returned an hour later, looking suitably satisfied. You’d had a shower, unpacked most of your stuff and were now lying on the sofa with a handheld fan directly on your face. You raised you head as she walked in.

“Any good?”

“Useful,” was all she said, before disappearing into the bathroom.

You took that as she’ll be spending a lot of time next door.

-

The first lecture of a new course always felt like starting school all over again. A bunch of new people in a classroom not really knowing what they’re doing there. Kelsey had decided that lecture number one is always useless and opted instead to stay in bed. You didn’t argue with her. She was the kind of girl who walked to the beat of her own drum. An admirable if slightly irresponsible trait. But who were you to judge?

So you really did feel like the new girl. You sat at a desk relatively close to the back. It was still early so all the good seats hadn’t been taken yet. Just a few keen beans right at the front, then one other guy on your row.

You rummaged in your bag, with that awful feeling that you’d forgotten something. Shit, laptop. And you didn’t have a notebook. Not a good start. You contemplated asking the guy on your row if he had a spare piece of paper, but he looked so blazed that you’re not sure he would even know what class he was in. Instead, you figured it was early enough in the class to rush to the nearest supply cupboard, which you hoped was in plains sight.

You grabbed your bag and rushed to the door, not seeing the figure walking in.

“Fuck!” You collided with his body, the coffee in his hand now all down your dress. You looked up to see who the poor student was whose drink you were now wearing and your heart sank.

This man looked close to 50, but a very good 50. His hair was tousled and he had a strong jawline, accentuated by his rough beard. There were mature students, of course, but the feeling in your stomach told you this wasn’t a student.

The man took a couple steps back, glaring down at you with a dark look in his eyes. “Class hasn’t started yet.” His Southern drawl caught you off guard. American? Your body couldn’t decide if it was anxious, sick or horny – or a combination of the three.

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry. I was just… I forgot my laptop. I can get you another coffee,” you rambled.

The man pushed past you, setting his bag on the desk. He wasn’t dressed like your previous professors had. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt, tight around his arms, and jeans. He took a pad out of his bag, ripped out a couple of pages and held them in your direction. You took them, unsure whether you should go back to your seat or go to the bathroom and clean up the mess your dress was now in. He decided for you.

“Sit.”

The embarrassment that now engulfed you was unbearable. You stank of coffee and your dress that was once red was now slightly brown and damp. And he hadn’t even asked if you were alright. Dick, you thought. What a shitty term this is going to be.

Other students were now filing in, so you went back to your original desk, thankful you were in the back. It didn’t stop people from turning to look at you. This was your new reputation. Fuck, why couldn’t Kelsey have been here? You envied her choice to stay in bed and wished you’d done the same.

“Now that most of you are here, I’ll start. I’m Professor Miller. I’m taking your English lit classes this semester. Maybe next ‘f you’re lucky.”

Who did this asshole think he was? Attractive, sure. Asshole, definitely. A rage started to burn in your stomach. You’d apologised to him.

“’f you’ve done the summer reading you’ll know we’re covering The Great Gatsby this term. I dunno what it’s about. Never read it. Your first assignment is to write me an essay explaining the plot.”

He leant forward, hands on his desk. “Any questions?”

You frowned. Maybe another degree was a mistake. This seemed like it was going to be a massive waste of time.

“You,” he gestured in your direction. “’s there a problem?

“No, I…”

“Good. This isn’t a class to sleep through. ‘f you’re not gonna take it seriously, get out.”

He gave you a look. It was a look that said ‘don’t fuck with me’. The rage that had been bubbling inside you was now full on erupting. Did he really think he could humiliate you in front of a new class and not get something in return? Your eyes quickly flickered to his hand. No ring.

You smirked, folding your arms. Heat settled at your core. You thought you saw some of that in his eyes. They were black, rage mixed with something else. You held his stare for a moment longer. He was the first to break.

Professor Miller, you don’t know what you’re in for.

[nowoyas]

thinking started feeling like burning - nishinoya yuu/reader

m.list - deleted smut scene - read on ao3

A/N: would you believe I wrote the majority of this BEFORE having a complete mental break and quitting my job without any sort of plan? this one is gonna have a smut spinoff oneshot sometime before the end of the month but no clear ETA yet due to school and job hunting. this boy needs more love and goddammit I may not be confident in my noya but I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO HIM

Summary: Nothing had changed since you left. Not him, a brilliant hurricane, and not you, a lost robot moving forward with no goals or dreams of your own. Opposites attract, after all.

Warnings: past minor character death, suggestive themes. reader is gender-neutral but for purposes of the deleted smut scene coming later is afab. reader basically has an anxiety disorder and it's implied they have not great parentage but no major detail is gone into.

Word count: ~8600

desolate

/dĕs′ə-lĭt, dĕz′-/

adjective

1. Devoid of inhabitants; deserted

2. Barren; lifeless

Yeah, maybe that was it. Desolate. In this hotel room—small, furnished but empty—you set aside your phone and its little dictionary definition of what’s wrong with you and the definition imprints itself on your brain all over again. Hardly the first time you’ve known the meaning of the word, but perhaps the first you’ve recognized it in your face.

In high school, you’d occupied your time with almost nothing but studying. There had been friends, one or two, and a blip towards the end in the form of a boyfriend, but you had potential and didn’t need to focus on things like going out to karaoke or making out with a guy when you had exams to study for.

You had so much potential.

You recall, dimly, having memorized the definition for desolate one day among all your vocabulary. More than that, reciting it for a hopeless light in your life who just didn’t get all this school stuff.

Your nose wrinkles at the memory. Best not get caught up in that spiral, yeah?

Against your better judgment, you flop onto the hotel room bed face-first and sigh. What the fuck are you even doing here? None of this was necessary. None of this was planned for.

There’s, of course, the simple textbook facts of the situation: you attended a work event, and halfway through, went to the bathroom and just stared at yourself in the mirror—much like the way you spent the past half an hour in a hotel bathroom—went home, got in your car, and drove to a hotel precariously close to your hometown. Sure, there’d been some kind of internal monologue going on, but you don’t remember any of it anymore. Nothing beyond what you’ve known for the past six years:

Something is fundamentally wrong with you.

“So, what, we get in our car and drive away and don’t show up to work and hope it all works out?”

The desolate room does not answer the desolate you.

~

Some species of sea turtle have been observed returning to the beach where they were born in order to nest, a phenomenon known as “natal homing”. There are many theories as to how they are able to return to their birthplace…

Like the sea turtle, you swim through endless water and find yourself, of all places, back in Miyagi, staring at a house you only vaguely remember and wondering if your instincts really led you here, or if you’re staring at a random stranger’s house you’ve never been to. Maybe there’s more than one family with his last name in the area.

It looks like all the others—a house in the countryside, standard and homely. You were here… what? Three times? Five?

Not even in the double digits—you know that much. You and Noya had spent more time together at school, or at your house. Your parents hadn’t wanted you to spend too much time alone with a guy at his house. In hindsight, you kind of get it. His grandfather hadn’t exactly been the type to make sure you two were being good kids, or whatever.

Still, you run your fingers over the nameplate, the kanji of Nishinoya’s last name, and try to figure out why this, of all places, is where you’ve drifted to.

“[name]?”

You startle, looking to the voice. Familiar, yet matured. Perhaps a bit lower. Perhaps carrying an emotion you don’t recognize. That, you know, must be him.

You note with a barely-stifled laugh that Noya has not changed his hair in the years since you’ve seen him. Still that stupid, adorable tuft of dyed blond hanging down in his face. Good.

Then, the feeling passes, and the panic sets in.

What the fuck are you doing at your ex-boyfriend’s house?

“Noya,” you breathe. You nod to him, stunned.

“Holy shit, that’s actually you!” He’s closed the distance in an instant, swept you off your feet in a hug that has you crying out in surprise. When he sets you down, you stumble, trying to catch your brain before it falls out your head. He studies you with bright, sharp eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Ah. “Uh, yeah. About that? I… I have no idea.”

He blinks slowly, and then he’s laughing. “That’s not like you at all! Come on, if you’ve got the time to sit down, I’m sure we’ve got something around here to feed you with.”

“Feed me…? Wait, I…”

But he’s already grabbed your wrist, pulled you across the forbidden threshold and right to the front door. Maybe you should have thought about literally anything before showing up at his house.

Too late for regrets, you guess. You’re in way too deep for him to let you slip away now.

~

In your mind, Nishinoya is steepling his hands together like a stern employer trying to figure out the best way to admonish a bad employee. The image doesn’t really suit him, and you do know that, but you still feel like cubicle fodder waiting to get chewed out.

In reality, he’s resting his chin in his hand, watching you carefully as you run your thumb over the glass of water he’s given you and try not to meet his eyes. (It had taken quite a bit of debating to keep him from actually feeding you. The water was a concession in a valiant fight.)

“So, you don’t know what you’re doing?”

A slow nod.

“You don’t know what you’re doing.” The statement, repeated, does little to hide how astounded he is at the concept.

You sigh. It is easy and so, so heavy as the air escapes you. Maybe you can drown your errant thoughts in water until you understand just what, exactly, you’re trying to do here. You try, but no matter how much you drink, you still don’t have an answer. “Pretty much, yeah. I just sort of ended up here.”

He has an easy smile on his lips, sharp eyes taking you in. “After what?”

“What do you mean, after what?”

“I mean, it’s not like you to just run off and end up anywhere. You’re, you know, thoughtful and stuff! I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of you just doing something without at least three plans ready to go in case something went wrong.”

“I mean, there was you,” you admit with a laugh.

Shit. That was the wrong thing to say, but here you are, panicking and thinking you’ll make things even more awkward than you already feel, and there he is, smiling like he’s looking at…

What?

It isn’t until he’s leaning in further like he’s about to say something dirty that you realize your real mistake in that response.

“You didn’t think before you did me, huh?”

Your cheeks flare, and you hurriedly down the rest of the glass of water while you try to think of a suitable redirect. “You know what I meant!”

“Sure do! You meant—“

“Oh, hush.”

He laughs, and you fall into silence, trying to commit the sound of his laugh to memory.

That’s what sucks about this, oddly enough: you sit at his dining room table, holding a now-empty cup, and it’s just as easy as it always was. He tells you what he’s been up to: how he doesn’t play volleyball anymore (tragic—you loved watching him play) and he’s been traveling a lot (infuriating—you love to travel) and he’s dated once or twice since you last spoke, but nothing really lasting.

(heartbreaking.)

(you love—)

(you loved him when you left.)

“So,” he says, ever enthusiastic to redirect the conversation onto you, “what have you been up to?”

“Nothing, I guess.”

“Oh, come on. You’ve always been amazing. I bet you’ve been doing something awesome with that brain of yours. You wanted to write, right? How’s that going?”

Hah. Amazing. He’s only saying that because you were useful when you tutored him. “No, really. Nothing. Sales, I guess. Convincing people to give up money for a product I don’t believe in for a company I hate. I guess I’m up for a promotion soon. Really though, I think I’ve probably just been dead for the last… what, six years?”

You’d picked the number because it was when you graduated high school. That had made sense to you—college, too, had felt like nothing. No parties, no partners, just studying, exams, and keeping your body moving forward until you had a neat little degree in a field you didn’t care about. But when you spare a glance away from the window, where your attention has been glued in hopes of avoiding letting the awkwardness and pain of this whole situation actually hit you, it’s the first time since he ran into you that Noya isn’t smiling at you.

Oh yeah. And right before you graduated, you’d broken up with him.

“You broke up with me, you know,” he says after a long moment. “Are you saying you’ve been a ghost this whole time?”

And ouch. He’s right, and you hate that. It hadn’t been his fault you’d left. It’d been your insecurities, your inability to handle the weight of your parents’ disapproval, your unwillingness to fight for something that seemed so correct, your stunning realization that Noya would always shine too brightly for you to be the one standing beside him. He always thought you were amazing, but you were nothing compared to his whirlwind personality, his passion, his sense of life.

Maybe this would have been easier if you’d ever told him that.

“I don’t know what I’m saying. Probably just that high school was the last time I felt like a real person, and that ever since, I’ve just been going through the motions and slowly losing my mind and trying not to panic about the fact that not only do I not have any direction in life, I don’t even know how to enjoy it if I did.” Your words come out calm and metered. You try not to betray the worst of it.

For a moment, talking to him, you’d been able to forget the person you’ve been since graduation. You were always moving forward a step at a time, but at some point, you stopped being a hiker on your predetermined life path and just let yourself be a robot. Mechanical step after mechanical step. Just keep moving forward and you’ll get to where you’re going. When you get to where you’re going, you’ll take another stupid, empty step towards where you’re going now. Some successful career, some boring partner that your parents like, kids, wake up, go to sleep, another day, another day, another day doing exactly what you’re expected to do. Just keep following that bright, clear line. That bright, clear line to nowhere at all.

And then you stumbled. And now you’re here, again. Dizzy, sitting at the same table with the same guy.

At some point, you’d trailed off, staring at the table and searching for scars of a life well-used on its surface. You hear the shuffle of him standing over you, and look up to find him reaching out a hand to you. “Alright. Come on.”

“Come… on?”

He leans forward a bit more to take your hand and pull you up. “I’m taking you out to dinner.”

“Huh? Wait, but where?”

“Don’t know yet!”

He drags you out, and you stumble after him in mind and body.

“It’s one o’clock!”

“So we’ll scout places that look good while we get lunch. You don’t have anything to do, right?”

“Well, no, but—“

“Then we’re going!”

He pulls you right past the entryway, nearly has you out the front door before you can protest. “I’m not wearing shoes, Noya! You’re not wearing shoes!”

He only laughs, only pauses, only gives you a moment. “Get them on, then.”

“And do you even have your wallet?”

He blinks and pats his pockets. “Guess not! You’ve got until I’m back with my wallet to get your shoes on and decide to let this happen!”

Decide… to let this happen?

He disappears around the corner, deeper into the house, and at last you sigh, sitting to put your shoes on properly. You doubt he’ll be quick finding his wallet—if he’s anything like you remember (and so far, he’s exactly like you remember) then he has absolutely no idea where he put it last. If you didn’t think he’d absolutely drag you out the door once it was found, you’d kick your shoes back off and help him look.

After getting your shoes on, setting his out in ideal kicking-feet-into-without-stopping position, and five minutes of listening to him rustle about the house, you glance at a table in the entryway and smile at the sight of a plain black wallet in the dish. You inspect it, just in case it’s not his—there’s been no sign of Noya’s grandfather around, but almost nothing’s changed, so he probably still lives here. Better to check.

You open it, just to see that it’s got his ID in there and not someone else’s, and nearly slam it closed again immediately.

Yeah, it’s his missing wallet. ID and everything. And, in the little photo slot, a six-year-old photo of him in his volleyball jersey, million-volt smile on his face as you push him away with your own brilliant smile. He’d just won a game, and you’d been busy trying to get him, gross and sweaty, to stop getting all that gross and sweaty on you even as you laughed the entire time. Tanaka took the picture, you think—there’s a bit of thumb in the bottom right corner.

Noya keeps a photo of the two of you in his wallet. After six years without talking.

A noise bangs from somewhere else in the house, and you close the wallet and force down the warmth welling in your chest and rushing to your face. “All good?” you call out.

“I can’t find my stupid wallet!” he shouts back a moment later. He sounds a bit frustrated. “This isn’t going to work if I spend the whole day trying to—“

“Nishinoya,” you cut him off, half sing-song, “you left it by the door.”

No reply except the thudding of feet as he runs right up to you and plucks it from your hand. “There it is! I found it!”

“Oh, really? You found it?”

“Yep! Are your shoes on? We gotta go now!”

“Go where? You’re in an awful rush. Do you have plans or something?”

He kicks his shoes on and grabs your wrist again. “Nope! You’re gonna love it!”

~

Really a type of plankton, jellyfish possess extremely limited swimming abilities, if any at all, and rely on the currents to control their horizontal movements through the sea.

It occurs to you, as you make the trek to the bus stop, that you didn’t have to say yes to this. Well, really, it’s not like you said yes so much as didn’t say otherwise, and Noya, ever the trail-blazer, pulled you along for the ride. What’s even the difference in what you’re doing now and what you’ve been doing these past six years?

You barely make the bus. Nishinoya pays the fare for both of you, before you can protest, and when there’s only one open seat, he takes it.

“You’re such a gentleman,” you snort.

He responds by tugging you down into his lap. “I am!”

You’re stronger than you were in high school. Really, you are. You don’t collapse into emotions like embarrassment. You don’t let the sensation of being flustered consume you. You do not.

…you bury your face in your hands. “What are we doing right now?”

Always laughing. Always lighthearted. “What do you mean? We’re taking the bus someplace we can find some restaurants.”

“You know exactly what I mean!”

The bus passes over a bump, and he wraps an arm around your waist to steady you. “You know, you’ve barely changed at all.”

“Neither have you,” you fire back. You meant it as an accusation, but the words come out tender. “You’re still a complete hurricane.”

He laughs, his own tenderness bleeding through. “And you’re still not letting yourself have anything you want.”

“When have I ever—“

“I think you know.” His other arm comes around your waist, holding you in a loose hug, chin resting against your arm.

You try not to stiffen at all the contact. This, too, is something you haven’t felt in ages—simple, casual touch. He had always been that way, resting a hand on your shoulder, your back, running fingers through the ends of your hair, like if he stopped touching you, you’d run away.

Maybe he was right. Maybe he is right.

“You didn’t answer me before. Are you still writing? I’ve been keeping an eye out for your name on the shelves, you know.”

You rest a hand on his arm, half considering pushing his arm off. The bus stops, but apparently not at a stop Noya is interested in dragging you off at—he steadies you as the bus jolts, and as a few passengers file off, you consider admitting the answer.

“Poetry these days, mostly. It’s not like I’d ever get published if I went for it, so I just scribble out a few half-assed lines and—“

“See, stop that. That’s half your problem right there, you know!”

“Another seat just opened up, you know,” you mumble. If you try to fight him on this, he’ll end up talking you into these grand ideas that you’ll never be able to accomplish, and by the end of the day he’ll probably have you in love with him all over again, even though you know it would never work, even though you know you’d never really be anything—as an employee, as a person, as his. “We don’t have to do this… couple-y thing.”

“I want to, though. It’s nice, isn’t it?”

…it is. It really is.

“…I still like to write, but I never have time anymore. It’s work, recovering from work, getting ready for work, waiting to come home from work so I can prep lunches and wash my clothes so I have something to eat and wear at work. I don’t have energy for anything except meetings, emails, and phone calls where no one means anything they say.”

“Damn. No wonder you seem so lost. Why don’t you quit?”

“And do what? It’s not like I have a dream job. I just want to get by and survive—“

“Why? You’re not happy. Don’t you want to do something more than survive?”

“I don’t even know what that would look like, Noya.”

He says everything so simply. Just quit. Just move on. Just move forward. He’s lucky, you think. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have parents planning out your entire life for you.

…okay, that was mean. Add that to the list of things that are wrong with you.

He sighs, shaking you gently in his hold. “It’s worse than I thought. Hey, [name], why’d you come here?”

“I told you already. I have no idea.”

“Alright. Adding it to the list. Today, you’re experiencing adventure for the first time in six years, and you’re gonna figure out what you were doing standing outside my house at noon on a Saturday. If I have my way, you’re also going to be quitting your job and starting a promising career as the greatest writer Japan’s ever seen, renowned the world over, but we can get to that some other time if you want!”

“Noya, I’m not—“ Your words die in your throat as his fingers slide between yours. You hadn’t realized your hand was sliding up his arm, but here he is, holding hands with you like it’s nothing.

God. How old are you, again?

~

Lunch ends up being crepes. Never mind the fact that crepes are not a meal, not even when Noya suggests buying two each—he proudly declares it lunch, and so lunch it must be. You’re lucky that he graciously allowed you to get a table, though he’d insisted on grabbing one outside even as the sky above has started to loom with rainclouds.

“And what’ll we do if it rains?” you retort drily as he sits across from you.

“We’ll figure it out,” he grins, sliding you a menu. “Dry off after we get rained on, not before.”

You snort. “How about we just try not to get rained on?”

“Then we would be sitting inside, and you wouldn’t get to look up at the clouds while we eat! You always liked the way the sky looked before it rained, right?”

A soft huff leaves you, a small smile unbidden. “You actually remember that? I think I said that to you, like, one time.”

He nods. “Only had to say it once! Besides, I caught you staring up at the sky in the rain more than once.”

“And yet, I had to repeat the same information for you so many times, only for you to still get it wrong on test day…”

“Hey! I was distracted!”

“You weren’t supposed to be,” you tease.

“What was I supposed to do? There was this gorgeous person sitting across from me telling me all these complicated things in a nice voice. I’m a simple man!”

Though your cheeks heat at the declaration, you can’t help but laugh. “Clearly.”

“Yeah. Clearly.” For just a moment, he’s soft, unbearably soft, and you fear looking at him. Quick, change the subject before you have to acknowledge whatever’s going on here!

“S-so!” Smooth! You’re doing great, sweetie! “Any idea what you’re going to get?”

He slaps a finger down on the menu without looking. “A… monte… monte…”

You sigh and peer over to look at the fanciful English he’s pointing to. “A Monte Cristo crepe?”

“Yeah!”

“Did you read the part where it’s got onions as a main ingredient? Don’t you hate onions?”

He wrinkles his nose, but stands firm. “I’m sure!”

You huff softly. “Alright. Far be it from me to stop you.”

“What about you? Make a pros and cons list for each menu item yet?” he teases.

“For your information, I don’t have to do that when ordering in restaurants. That’s for big decisions. But…” You sigh. “I haven’t eaten out in a while. It stresses me out.”

“Why?”

“So let’s say I pick something that looks good, and it sucks. I won’t eat it because it sucks, but then I feel like I’ve insulted the chef and wasted my time and money.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. But at least you’ll know! When’s the last time you actually ate out like this?”

You bite your lip thoughtfully. When was it?

“I… think I did a celebration dinner with my parents when I graduated?”

“College?”

“No, high school. We didn’t celebrate when I graduated college.”

Once again, he’s staring at you in blank disbelief. “[name], that was six years ago.”

You flush. “Yeah, so?”

“That’s so sad. What have you been doing? I’m about to take you on a food tour just so you can catch up on all the restaurants you’ve been missing.”

You wrinkle your nose. “Please, no. I can’t eat that much.”

“Then we’ll spread it out!”

“Noya…”

The waiter drops in at exactly the wrong time. Flustered, you stumble your way into lemonade for you, apple cider for him, and then, as he’s confidently mispronouncing “Monte Cristo” to the waiter, you panic and end up ordering some curry crepe, a concept which intrigues and horrifies you.

“How’d you even find this place? Seems weird for there to be some half-French, half-English upscale crepe restaurant out in Miyagi.”

“What do you mean, how did I find it? We found it together. I’ve never eaten here.”

Right. He’s completely winging everything. “Amazing.”

“Right?”

Drinks come, and you sigh into a masterful lemonade and try to think of things to say to fill the space between you and your ex. (You have to try not to forget that bit—that this isn’t natural, that this can’t lead anywhere. For your sake and his.) “So, how’s your grandfather been?”

The easy smile on Noya’s lips drops. “Oh. He died late last year. Age caught up to him, I guess.”

Oh. Fuck. “Noya, I’m so…”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. Crazy bastard had a hell of a time of it. He’d hate for me to sit around feeling bad about it, anyway.”

He wouldn’t want you to pity him. Doesn’t want you to pity him. You know that. But…

Did Noya ever talk about any other family members when you knew him? You know he lived in that house with his grandfather. No siblings. Never mentioned any cousins. You know he didn’t grow up around his parents, either…

Has he been alone this whole time?

You reach across the table. Place a hand on his. “Maybe I’ll visit more often.”

In silence, the two of you sit and wait for your crepes.

~

The crepes come out, and with them, new points of conversation that carry you both to finishing—all the way until Noya manages to argue you into letting him pay. He pulls you along, a bit slower than before, a bit easier. You can’t help but let him take your hand and bring you wherever the wind is leading him, half-pitying him and half from the complete lack of will to fight him all day.

“I told you you weren’t gonna like what you ended up ordering.”

“You liked it though, right?”

Predictably, he’d taken one bite of the crepe and instantly realized his mistake. Far too much onions for his tastes. Your curry crepe had been… well…

Let’s just say that you weren’t especially upset when Noya asked you to swap.

“It was really good, if you like onions.”

“I know what I like! Onions aren’t it!”

It’s easy like this, and the day really is nice. There’s rain on the breeze and in the clouds, a pleasant scent and a comforting gloom over the day. You tease and joke back and forth, hand in hand like it’s natural, and it is. It’s easy, being around him. It was easy back then, too. So easy it scares you.

You’re just waiting for the bottom to fall out.

You’re waiting for the bottom to fall out, and it does—with a shriek and loud laughter, rain chases the both of you underneath a tree and within sight of the nearest bus stop, soaking you both through to the bone.

“See?” Noya says, grinning as he pulls you a little closer underneath the tree. “Now we can worry about getting dry.”

“You’re unbelievable,” said with a smile. “What is all this meant to prove again?”

“Well, why’d you come here?”

“Here? You dragged me out here.”

“Yeah, but why’d you come back to Miyagi? I’m just saying, my doorstep is not the first place I expected you to turn up on when the inevitable nervous breakdown hit.”

You fall silent, shiver in the rain. It’s peaceful. You try to focus on watching for a bus, anything except the question you were asked.

“[name].”

You glance at him, yelp a little to find how close the two of you have gotten. This close, in this kind of situation, it’d be only natural for you to lean in, for you to brush your lips against his.

God, have you even kissed anyone since you burned everything down?

You’re not doing this. You’re not falling into a hurricane like him again. You won’t be able to come back if you do that. (Especially with such a fucking cliché.)

You turn away. “You already asked me that. I told you before, I don’t know.”

He hums thoughtfully. Drapes his jacket over both of your heads in an attempt to keep you both from looking any more rained out than you already do.

“I’m just saying, if you want my opinion, you’re going to have to do a lot more adventuring and a lot less sales for a company you hate if you want to remember what ‘happy’ is supposed to feel like.”

“Not sure I ever knew what that was like to begin with.”

“Never?”

“When I was a kid, maybe.”

He tilts his head. “Not even when we dated? Is that why you broke up with me?” He sounds genuinely curious. Would it feel better, you wonder, if he sounded hurt?

You wince. “I didn’t mean… I just…” A sigh. “It’s more like, I was too afraid to let myself be happy when I was with you.” In the close proximity, you find it easier to let your head rest against him a little. “Please don’t misunderstand. I like you. I probably would have been really happy with you if there weren’t something fundamentally wrong with me as a person.” Shit. You definitely misspoke there.

“I don’t really know how to teach you to relax a little, but it’s gotta be easier now that you’re out of your parents’ house. Maybe you need to go somewhere completely new. Get a fresh outlook.”

You arch a brow his way. At least he’s not commenting on your slip of the tongue. “What are you suggesting, Nishinoya?”

“I’m leaving for Italy. Six weeks. That’s enough time for you to plan your little heart out, right?”

“Italy.”

He nods, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Italy.”

“And if I came back after six years to kill you or something?”

He barks a laugh, stark against the pouring rain. His eyes linger on you. The part of you that’s charitable to yourself thinks he might be mentally undressing the clothes sticking to your skin, though you know it’s more of a challenging look. “I’d like to see you try.”

~

One soaking wet bus ride back to Noya’s house doesn’t save you from this little adventure plan of his. Instead, you’re given a towel or two to dry off with and a change of clothes from his closet, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world. The way he acts, everything is.

So now here you are, wearing a shirt far too large for you that you’ve wrestled into looking somewhat nice with Nishinoya’s jeans. It slides off your shoulder a bit no matter how many times you fix it. You admit, you do manage to pull it off, but the whirlwind of the day still has your head spinning with just how wrong this situation is.

You’re supposed to be at work right now. You should be in office clothes, sitting at a desk in a too-cold cubicle that you never got around to decorating, perfect and polished while you tap out yet another perfectly-balanced email, three-quarters professional, one-quarter gentle familiarity to lure your clients into a false sense of security. Not standing in your ex’s bathroom, tying one of his t-shirts at the waist, adjusting your hair to look closer to “decent” than “drowned rat”. This, this day, this situation, was never supposed to happen.

Is this whole day going to be a stumble? How long will it be until you catch yourself and get back to moving forward? When you do, will you still have a place at your desk?

Do you even want one?

A knock at the bathroom door. “If you give me your clothes, I’ll get them started drying,” his voice filters through the door.

All of these actions have been so easy. Your wet clothes, picked up from where they hung shower-side. Easy to wring them out a bit more to keep from making the floor worse. Easy to open the door. Easy to hand them to him.

Nothing had ever been particularly hard before him, but falling in love with him had been just like this: easy.

Maybe the first easy thing you ever remember.

~

So you go along with it. Another bus ride, this one less crowded than before. This time with umbrella in hand—just one, because of course Noya didn’t even think about it on the way out the door—and a determination to figure out what the hell you’re doing here to begin with.

Everything is as everything was, you think. Shops lining the street, one familiar sight in particular, one of two things you had never had the strength to deny yourself back in school. At the sight of the bookshop, you tug Nishinoya to a stop. You’re a little surprised when he actually does stop.

“Sorry, can we head in? I used to love this place back in school.” You nod to the bookshop. He smiles and lets you lead the way.

“I think that’s the first time you’ve done something selfish today,” he comments as you lead him in.

You refuse to meet that one with a reply.

The shop is exactly as you remember. High stacks of books, books, books everywhere. The scent of old books and a slight spice in the air, scents blending and mixing until, for just a moment, you’re in high school again, marveling at rare finds coming through the used books section and finding some new world to escape into.

You sigh into the scent and disappear into the stacks. Noya is kind enough to humor you as you pick through, find a title or two to take up to the register. If you really do come back to visit from time to time, you’ll have to make sure to stop in here when you do. The old woman at the register hasn’t aged a day. She smiles when she sees you the same way you’re smiling as you approach her.

“Is that little [name]?” she asks, though you both know she already knows the answer. “Why, I haven’t seen you around here in ages! You’ve grown so well!”

“It’s wonderful to see you again, ma’am.”

“Just as polite as you always were. Find everything you were looking for?”

She’s got a poster on the counter by the register. You steal a glance, then meet her eyes with a smile. “Sure did! I’m glad to see you guys are still here.”

Her smile turns bitter. “I’m not sure how much longer, I’m afraid.”

Ah. There’s the heartbreak, panic, fear. “What?”

“It can’t be helped. It’s getting difficult to watch this place in my age, and my Taka’s not been doing so well lately. The kids are all off worrying about their own lives now…”

Your chest twists at the thought. “Can’t you find help?”

“We’ve been looking, but…”

It cannot possibly be this easy.

There’s no way.

“But…”

Noya slides a few bills over the counter while you’re busy fighting a war in your head.

“Oh, and who’s this? You’ve got to introduce your boyfriend, dear.”

“Oh, he’s not—“

“It’s nice to meet you, Granny! I’m Nishinoya.”

Already, they’re spiraling off into some side conversation, too fast for you to make the obvious correction as the old lady makes your—Noya’s—change. She tucks a little bookmark into the front of the stack, and you slide your new books into your bag in resignation. It becomes his space as easily as it was yours, and somehow, it doesn’t feel wrong.

After you’ve left, you consider clearing the air, bringing up… whatever that was.

…it’s not worth the argument.

Another few shops, another few stops. Another few steps forward, another few hours, and yet again you’re sitting across from him, fretting over being underdressed at the restaurant you’ve both happened across and settled on.

“Are you sure we’re dressed alright?” you mutter.

“They let us in the door, didn’t they?”

…yeah, you don’t know what you expected him to say.

“Besides, you look great,” he adds. His eyes dance over you, over the bare skin on your shoulder where you’ve finally given up on pulling the neck of his shirt back up. “I think you wear that better than I ever have.”

You ignore him in favor of another menu, another decision to make that feels earth-shattering. At least you’re aware you’re being ridiculous when it comes to ordering. Really, what’s going to change if you get the fun-looking drink you might not like over the safe one? How bad would it really be if you didn’t like your meal that much?

Drinking too much. Discovering a new allergy. Food poisoning—

“You’re overthinking again,” he teases.

“I’m always overthinking,” you grumble.

“Maybe you need to take the edge off.”

He’s right, and you know that in theory. But in the practice and the day-to-day, you stare at the drinks menu and feel your chest constrict with that itch of anxiety all over again.

“You’ve just got to jump in before you can talk yourself out of it. Come on, [name], let me distract you a little.”

…you don’t think he’s trying to flirt, but your face feels hot all the same. And, well, shit, Noya is a great distraction. He’s a bit less keyed-up than he was back then, but he’s still endlessly charming, endlessly easy to get wrapped up in if you lower your guard even a moment.

“…fine. So what’s this you were saying earlier about Italy?”

His eyes light up. You rest your chin in your palm, glance over the menu again as he tells you about his dreams of traveling the world, how he wants to seek new thrills and see all these new things. You can see every potential disaster of the situation—for one, he has a house back home that someone’s going to need to care for while he’s away, and he doesn’t seem to have thought of that. For another, he’s got an inheritance and no passive income to work with. His grandfather’s leftover money may be substantial enough for this to work in the short term, but longer-term…

Well, one day, he’s going to run headfirst into a hole he can’t climb out of himself.

The thought scares you. Who’s going to be there for him when that happens?

The waiter stops by. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you pick out something alcoholic and fruity and try not to preen under Noya’s delighted approval.

“I’ve never seen you drunk before. Looking forward to it,” he grins. This time, you’re sure he means it flirtatiously, given the wicked gleam in his eyes.

You reach across the table to bat at his arm. “Keep looking, then. I don’t plan on getting drunk tonight. Just buzzed enough to put up with you.”

“Well, that’s no fun. I wanted to know what you’re like when you finally let loose.”

“Excuse you, I can be plenty fun without getting drunk off my ass.”

“Then let’s see it.”

Drinks come out, food orders are placed. You get your margarita halfway down before the buzz starts really setting in, a pleasant warmth blossoming through you. At least now when Noya makes your face hot with some offhanded comment, you can blame it on something other than your own weak heart.

“You know, this is the most adventurous thing I’ve done since I dated you,” you admit once you’re both walking back to the bus stop. Fully sober you would never have this conversation. You recognize that, but there’s enough pleasant fuzz in your head that for once you do not give nearly enough of a fuck to stop yourself. The night is warm, maybe even romantic. “This whole… running around, stopping at random restaurants, getting drenched in the rain without an umbrella. All that.”

He’s got this soft look in his eyes as he regards you. “Really? I can’t say I’m surprised. You were always worrying about everything.”

You snort. “Someone had to.”

“We were kids, though. You probably could have left at least some of that worrying to your parents.”

“Believe it or not, they gave nearly all of that worry to me. On purpose, I think.” You sigh, lean against him just a touch. Your balance never was all that great sober. “I had to be perfect. You were that one little blip.”

“Hey, it felt perfect to me.”

“Did I make a mistake, do you think?”

He looks a little wounded at that. To your credit, he’s definitely misinterpreting. “Dating me?”

“No. Leaving you.”

He pauses, an awkward motion that has you both stumbling just a bit. He’d drank over dinner, too—you’re both buzzed, and the bubbly, floaty feeling ebbs out as you stare at each other. “Why do you say that?”

“I just… I thought about it a lot,” you mumble. “What it would have been like. If I’d just stayed, instead of letting the thought of my parents scare me into running away.”

He huffs a soft laugh and winds his arm around your shoulder. “I thought about it, too. Come on. You don’t need to make it back to the hotel alone; I’ve got a guest bedroom you can use tonight. That, and I’ve still got your clothes.”

Oh. Right.

You nod and let him walk you back to his home.

~

“Have you figured anything out yet?” he asks as he finds another oversized t-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts for you to sleep in. “Gotten even a little closer to figuring out how to do something you actually feel like doing?”

“I had fun,” you mumble in reply. “I know that much, at least.”

“Good. That was mostly the point.” He hands the clothes over to you. They’re more neatly folded than you would have given him credit for.

“Mostly?”

“Well,” he grins, “I also wanted to spend the day with you. Didn’t figure you’d ever agree if I didn’t drag you out before you could think about it too hard.”

“It was nice,” you admit. “Thank you. For all of it. I… I still don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow, though.”

“Is it so bad listening to what you feel like doing every once in a while, though?”

“If I knew what I felt like doing, maybe.” You linger awkwardly in his doorway, bounce your shoulder rhythmically against the frame. “You’ve got your work cut out for you if you think one day is gonna get me that in tune with my brain.”

“That’s why I asked you to come to Italy with me.” He tilts his head, some question lingering unspoken. “Try it now, though. What does [name] feel like doing right now?”

He’s close to you. Too close. He’s close, and pretty, and magnetic, and—

“[name] feels like doing something stupid.”

His grin widens. “Nice to meet you. My name’s Nishinoya Yuu, and I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I am pretty damn stupid.”

—fuck it. You grab him by the collar of his shirt and kiss him before you can talk yourself out of it.

He reciprocates in kind, an eager hand coming to settle on your waist like it’s been waiting to rest there all night. You kiss him hot, heavy, open-mouthed; let your hands slide from gripping his collar to locking loosely behind his neck. When you’re both out of breath, he pulls back and leans in to whisper into your neck:

“Why did you come here, [name]?”

It’s hard to think with his breath on your neck, his hands on your body leaving your skin on fire where he touches, but you are great at thinking and finally off the deep end enough to admit it.

“I wanted to remember what it was like to feel alive,” you breathe out into his ear. His lips brush your throat, and you let out a breathy whine. “You’re the only person who ever—who ever seemed to know how to do that.”

“Let me show you how to let go, then.”

There’s no illusions about what he means. Not this time, not with his lips dancing down your neck to your exposed shoulder. Not with his hips pressing into yours, not with his fingertips toying with the edge of his shirt you’re wearing, and not with his fingertips brushing the bare skin at your waist.

You nod and hope you won’t regret it.

~

If there’s regret to be had, you expect you’ll see it in the light of morning. As it is, Noya returns from the bathroom and collapses right onto you, a lithe arm pulling you into his chest.

“I’m glad you came back,” he mumbles into your hair. You’re both tired—it’s late, and that might have been the best workout you’ve gotten in a while.

“Because you missed me, or because you got to fuck me?” you tease, sliding a hand over his.

“I missed you,” he replies without missing a beat. “Not too late to come travel the world with me. Quit your job and feel peace for once in your life.”

“Peace? With you around? Not likely. Besides, I’m renting a place in Tokyo. I can’t meet rent if I quit my job.”

He laughs and pulls you in a little closer. “Then just Italy, and you can go back to the way you felt before you turned up on my doorstep looking more lost than I’ve ever seen anyone in my life.”

You sigh. “When you’re traveling the world, who’s gonna take care of your house? It doesn’t seem like you’re selling it, are you?”

“Italy, come home, we’ll break in the place, and then I’ll come home to you between trips while you work on writing an international bestseller.”

Your heart flutters at the thought. Admittedly… it’d solve a lot of the problems you have with his little “plan”.

“And how do you suppose I pay for being alive aside from not having rent?”

“Ask that old lady at the bookshop if you can help at the store.”

“Why do you have an answer for everything?”

“It’s okay if things fall into place once in a while, you know.”

You sigh into him. There’s too many unknowns. How is he going to keep paying for traveling? What if the book never works out? If there’s no space for you at the bookshop? If—

He nuzzles into your neck. “I’m waiting on an answer, baby…”

“It’s late, Noya. I’ll think about it.”

“Do me a favor and think yourself into something for once, instead of out of it. I might die if you leave again.”

He presses one last kiss into the back of your neck before you both draft off, sore and exhausted.

There’s one thing, at least, you can be sure of, at least for tonight: you’re glad you came here.

~

Epilogue

“You’re looking much better,” your coworker nods to you as you settle back into your desk. “Get some much-needed rest?”

You nod your reply. “I did, thanks. Sorry for disappearing so suddenly. That cold was killer. Think I slept about fourteen hours straight.”

She snorts. “Man, no wonder you weren’t answering your phone. Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She wanders off to her own desk. You take a long sip of your drink, stretch a bit, and get right to your stupid little emails.

You tap away, pausing between sentences to consider, to answer the phone, to sip your drink. Occasionally, to tab over to some other draft when you worry a passing coworker might see exactly what you’re writing. At one or two points, over to your web browser, either to the wikiHow article you’re referencing, or to one of the many other tabs: your online banking, to confirm that this isn’t going to completely kill you (it won’t—all work and no play gives Jack a hefty savings account), or to any number of other wonderful things on the Internet that you suddenly feel comfortable accessing with the letter you’re drafting in the background.

It takes an hour to settle. The letter is drafted, all the right people are copied. You’ve triple checked everything, gotten all your things already slid into your bag or in a box to carry out with you. Made sure everything you need to leave behind is in clear view on your desk. You’ve even prepped an auto-response on your email client so people know who to bother, if not you. It’d take three, maybe four clicks to blow up your life.

You can’t do it.

You reach for your cell and dial.

Noya, despite all that worries you about him, has always been an early riser. He picks up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Distract me,” you order in lieu of a greeting.

You hear laughter, a slight shuffle. “From what?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just distract me.”

“Ah, you’re doing something you don’t want to talk yourself out of. I’m proud of you!” You hear the smile in his voice, close your eyes to try to visualize it. “Am I allowed to ask what you’re up to? Where you are?”

“No and no. If I tell you, I’ll back out by the time I finish saying it.”

“I get it. Hey, do you still have that mark on your neck from when I—“

Your cheeks burn, fingers dancing along the bruise in question. It had been a bitch to cover with makeup this morning. You’re still not convinced you did so successfully, but no one’s commented on it yet, at least. “No thanks to a certain someone. I still can’t believe you did that.”

“Hey, you said you felt like doing something stupid. Who was I to deny you?”

“Cheeky bastard.” You smile, lean back in your chair a little bit. Click ‘send’. “Oh god. I did it.”

“Am I allowed to ask what you did now?”

“I might throw up. Not sure yet. Hey, how do you feel about renting bikes?”

“Bikes?”

“In Italy. I was looking up, like, bucket lists and stuff, and there’s this road, the Appian way? You can rent bikes and bike it. Apparently, it’s pretty old, and there’s this café we could eat at, and—“

You hear the thunk of something falling in the background of the call. “You’re coming!?”

“Well, I just emailed my resignation letter to my boss and HR, and I can see him panicking in his office from here, so you better have meant it. Here in a minute or two, he’s probably going to call me in, or come yell at me at my desk—“

“When’s your resignation effective? Did you give a notice?”

“Effective as soon as he stops panicking.”

A bark of laughter sounds in your ear. “So if he comes to yell at you, just leave. You already quit, anyway. What’s he gonna do?”

“Good point. Leaving now.” You stand, scoop up your bag. “I have two months left on my lease. If you didn’t mean that thing about me housesitting while you’re off seeing the world, speak now before I call my landlord and let him know I’m canceling that, too.”

“All yours, but your rent is walking around without pants whenever I’m home.”

You roll your eyes. Pause to wave at your boss on your way out the door. If he shouts after you, you don’t hear it. You’ve got a trip to Italy to plan.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory

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[themultifandomgal]

Matt Casey- Fight For Us Pt1 (rewritten)

YN and Matt have been married now for 5 years. They have a little girl together who is the spitting image of YN, but has her dads mannerisms . They love one another, they truly do, but after their best friend Andy Darden died they drifted apart. YN Andy and Severide all went to school together. They've known each other since kindergarten and been best friends since. Matt really struggled with the loss of his Andy, blamed himself for his death, your best friends death, which led to pushing his wife away.

Things have been getting better for the pair and for the first time in 2 months they are finally in a good place again. Of course they're both still dealing with the loss of one of their best friends but they know that together they will get through it.

"I wish you and Kelly would sort out what's going on between you both" I sigh washing up the breakfast bowels while mine and Matts 5 year old daughter is getting ready for school

"Yeah well he's blaming me for Andy's death"

"I know and I'll speak with him, but we were best friends. All wanted to go through the academy together. If it wasn't for my asthma I wouldn't be a paramedic"

"The best paramedic" I pass the bowels to Matt to dry and raise my eyebrows

"Dont change the subject. Look all I'm saying is Kelly is angry, upset, hell we all are, but he needs to blame someone and if it's not you it will be himself. At least you can take it"

"Momma I'm ready" Ella calls from the hallway

"I'm coming" I call back "I'll drop Ella off at school. I'll see you in a bit" I peck Matt on the lips and turn to move, but before I can get to our daughter he pulls me back to him

"We're good aren't we?" he asks looking into my eyes

"Course we are" I give him another kiss then leave the house with Ella.

Almost immediately after I arrive at the firehouse we're on a call, a huge car accident has happened. I run over to one car where there's a little girl inside just a little older than Ella

"Hi sweetie I'm YN. Can you tell me your name?" I ask

"Madeline"

"Ok, listen, Madeline, I want you to see if you can

turn your head toward me" the little girl does as I ask. She has a huge gash on the side of her head. Once the mom is out I jump into the car through the drivers side "hey, your going to be ok"

"It's dumping gas" mouch shouts as the car in front starts to flam. Madeline starts to whimper

"We're ok. Look my partners coming now to help me get you out" Leslie opens up the door and starts to move the little girl out

"Wait. Her jugular" I take out my stethoscope "Muffled heart sounds.It's Becks triad" I give Leslie a worried look as she picks Madeline up

"Come on, sweetie" Leslie puts Madeline in the back of the ambo. I jump in with her while Leslie shuts the doors and speeds towards Med.

Thankfully we get her to the hospital in time.

"Was the little girl ok?" Ella asks

"Yes luckily she was"

"My momma and daddy are superhero's" this makes me chuckle. I glance at her in the mirror, she's sat in her car seat swinging her feet with a huge smile on her face. I pull up the the fire house when Ella asks "will grandpa be here?"

"Yes angel he will" I reply turning the car off and jumping out. I open up the car door and help her out of her seat

"And daddy?"

"Yes and daddy and uncle Kelly"

"Daddy and uncle Kelly don't like each other any more. Why?" Ella asks taking my hand in hers as we walk past the trucks

"They do like each other, it's just their jobs make it a little harder to be friends. Remember Kelly was my best friend before I met daddy"

"And uncle Andy" she stops and points to a picture we now have up of him. I lift her up into my arms

"Yes and uncle Andy"

"I miss him momma"

"I know, so do I. And. So does uncle Kelly and daddy. Which is why they are having a little argument now" I place a kiss on her forehead when I hear a familiar voice

"YN you best hurry up, Casey's cooking" Severide says smiling with hands on his hips

"Uncle Kelly!" Ella practically jumps out of my arms and into her godfathers arms

"You hungry little one?"

"Yes! Momma can we have some food?"

"Yes angle. Course we can" I follow behind Severide and see Matt behind the kitchen counters. Dad, also known as chief Boden gets up from the table and walks over to me giving me a hug "hi dad"

"I'll bring a plate over for you and one for Ella" Matt says to me grabbing 3 plates. Severide places Ella down and she runs holding my dads hands to sit next to him. I then watch the awkward interaction between Severide and my husband. Not only is Matt blaming himself for Andy's death, but so is my best friend. I look over at my dad for some guidance, but he just sighs and gives me a small smile

"I bet uncle Andy would have wanted us to all be friends" the room falls silent. Trust the child to make everyone uncomfortable. I watch as Severide takes an orange and walk out of the room "momma did I upset uncle Kelly"

"No angel. He'll be ok"

Later that evening were called out during the night to a building fire. Matt and Herrmann both are knocked out during their search but thankfully Kelly manages to get them both out with the help of the others. So the rest of our shift was spent in the emergency room waiting to hear how Herrmann is doing since he was worse off.

[theficpusher]

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx | M | 185369 For her part, Jay took everything in her stride, barely batting an eyelid when Louis came into the kitchen the night Harry left and said, “I seem to have accidentally become the pack’s Alpha”. Ever since Harry left town, Louis’ found himself with the role of pack Alpha, despite being human. So he can’t wait to hand over the reins when Harry returns. Except, it’s not quite that simple… OR The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

the school of extraordinary lovers by stylinsoncity | M | 191036 "We keep telling the other, I love you and I love you, and we do, though we both know where the knives are." - Laura Van Prooyen harry is a third-year witch and violinist at Laitswold, the only magical academy in the UK, with dreams of taking on the world, and hopefully breaking the centuries-old curse on his family while he's at it. he does not dream of facing off against his childhood rival and duet partner, but louis is back in town after six years abroad, so that's exactly what happens.

Darling, so it goes by disgruntledkittenface | E | 195312 Harry Styles is a world-famous actor at the height of his career but a personal low point when he meets His Serene Highness Prince Louis of Monaco by chance. He doesn’t think they’ll ever see each other again, but after striking up a correspondence, it turns out they have more in common than he thought. Then they start to fall for each other. Louis is different from anyone Harry has dated before and their relationship moves fast as Harry realizes he’s ready for a change. Soon Harry finds himself adapting to an entirely new life, in a country where he doesn’t know the rules, the customs, even the language. Harry is used to people underestimating him, and he’s more determined than ever to prove them wrong. He just needs Louis to meet him halfway. Grace Kelly AU.

Angels Fly by LilyBlue28 | nr | 203082 Harry is a lonely omega in the North Western White River Pack who is uncharacteristically drawn to nature and his now outdated primal instincts. He fills his days with going through the motions and clinging to the one actual friendship he has in the omega Zayn, and when he gets a chance he sneaks away to the edge of their territory to sit with the trees and the wildlife and sketch his favorite part of the river. But what happens when one day he spots the pack alpha, Louis, having an intimate moment with something, or someone, unexpected? Suddenly his quiet, nearly invisible existence gets upended, and secrets he never wanted to know quite literally won't leave him alone, and even when he tries to stay away, he keeps being pulled back into Louis' turbulent orbit. A magical love story featuring a generations long grudge, a menacing curse, and secrets that keep pulling them apart. Will they be able to find a way back to one another through the dark?

Collision by itjustkindahappened | E | 226294 Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other. (Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

You Can Hear It In The Silence by Imogenlee | E | 234846 When Harry Styles received acceptance into a post-grad degree, he knew he could no longer afford his flat leaving him with three options: 1) Moving back into student halls. 2) Becoming homeless. 3) Moving in with his best (and only) friend, Niall, and three of Niall's other friends. He ended up choosing the third option. But it was a close race. Shame one of his new housemates reminded him why he only has one friend. If Louis Tomlinson had to choose one thing couldn't stand, it would be pretentious tossers, having grown up around enough of them. If he had to choose something he couldn't live without, it would be his friends. So he was proper thrilled to move in with his best mates and a couple of other lads. That was until he discovered one of them was the archetype for a pretentious tosser. In the interest of seeing out the twelve-month lease without killing each other, they both try (debatable) to get along despite believing they were opposite in almost every conceivable way, each having the communication skills of a cucumber, and secrets that had no business be kept secret.

The Things I Don't Ask by thisonegoes | E | 266670 Foster Montgomery Preparatory School is a sight to behold. Beautiful buildings in front of a beautiful Appalachian backdrop, a rich history, behind wrought iron gates with the carefully chosen Latin motto at the very top: “strenuis ardua cedunt.” “The heights yield to endeavor.” The price tag for such a distinguished and revered institution, for tuition, room, and board is $56,250. A year. A boarding school AU that features two boys who can never say how they really feel.

Remember Me Before You by kingsofeverything | E | 293820 Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers. A New Girl AU.

Of Mates and Men by bananaheathen | E | 630460 In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Ten (Part 2)

I smile and shake my head, because I’m sure that I won’t be. Jude shuffles on the bed to readjust himself, and when he settles, his leg is resting against mine. It’s warm, mine feels cold. I notice it and wait for him to move but he doesn’t, so I just let our skin touch, and I get a shiver from my toes to the top of my head.

“When you go to Berlin,” I start. “Will you know anybody else there?”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m going on my own, which I’m kind of excited about.”

“Scared though?”

“Yeah, a little bit I suppose. More excited.”

“I think I’d be scared to leave and be away from everybody I know.”

“Yeah, I get that, but I wasn’t really thinking that way when I applied for university there, it was honestly more about the experience I’d have and what I’d learn from doing my degree there.” He shrugs “Plus when I applied I didn’t actually think I’d be going on my own.” 

“No?”

“My girlfriend at the time and I applied together, actually, but she didn’t get in. It was brutal, we got our letters on the same day. Art schools work like that sometimes, they send their offers out earlier than other courses because your Leaving Cert points aren’t important. I got accepted and she didn’t, so it was a bad day.”

“So you decided to go alone anyway?”

“Yeah it felt like the best choice for me, I just didn’t see myself being in Ireland anymore, I don’t want to waste my early twenties in this horrible recession, and I don’t want to graduate into it with no job prospects. I just need to get away from it.”

“and your girlfriend?”

“We broke up. We called it quits before our exams. I didn’t want to put her through the long distance thing, like, honestly I didn’t want to put myself through it, because I knew I couldn't handle that. I really just… I don't want any attachments when I go, like, no responsibilities towards anybody else. Having a relationship while trying to navigate the changes that are ahead of me,” He shakes his head. “It would be too hard.”

“Wow. How long were you together?”

“Almost a year.”

That seems like forever to me. Nobody I know has been in a relationship for that long. “It must have been a hard decision.”

“It was, she’s a great person.”

“Well you can always get back together at some point in the future, you know, like maybe someday when you graduate…” I don’t continue because he’s already shaking his head no. 

“I don’t think so – It’s just over, I can’t really see us picking up where we left off, like, nothing to do with her or the relationship per se. It’s just that I feel like I can’t ever go backwards, once it’s done, it’s done for me. I just don’t really hang on to other people in that way.”

I think about how I do. I’m a clinger and I always have been, so his philosophy on life is totally foreign to me, just like the idea of jetting off to some unknown city all on my own without speaking the language or knowing how a single thing in its society operates. I think that he’s much braver than I am for doing it, but I’m a little sad that he’s going. Maybe in a parallel universe he and I would have attended the same art college and been friends who hung around in Dublin together after our respective classes, sitting outside coffee shops in the city and talking about art and sculpture and our silly assignments, but none of that will happen. In a few weeks he’ll be gone forever and I will likely never get to see him again. 

I look down at our legs and move mine away from his. Perhaps it’s not a good idea for us to be touching after all. 

“You look a little sleepy.” He says to me gently, and I am. I’m more than sleepy. It’s so late now that I must be awake for almost forty hours straight, running purely on the last shreds of adrenaline from being with him, but as soon as he mentions sleep my eyelids feel so heavy, and even the hard, flat wall that my back rests against feels cosy. I’m certain I could doze off in this exact position. I admit it, “I am.”

“Then sleep. I’ll leave.”

“Okay.”

He makes a tiny movement towards me and then hesitates and begins to get up. “Okay Evie, I’ll see you again soon.” 

I reach out my weary arms for a hug goodbye and when he leans in to embrace me my face grazes his neck, and he’s warm and his arms are strong and I wonder what the consequences would be if I let myself fall asleep on him right there and then. Maybe he’d be forced to stay here with me all night.

“I’ll text you when I’m free to hang out again.” He says, letting me go.

“Mm”

I lay down to sleep on the bed. The blankets are so warm from where he was sitting. 

Before my eyes drift closed and I surrender to my exhaustion I glimpse him climbing nimbly out the window and hopping down onto the grass outside, disappearing into the darkness and leaving the gauzy curtains fluttering behind him. It’s like he was never even here. 

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