#change is always scary

[miabebe]

Hello!

I know it's been a while since I've been around and I've missed you guys :')

Life's just been really busy, I've sadly overbooked myself at work and with other things in life and ngl, the pressure of having to write has been a bit demotivating over the last one month BUT but but, I've pulled through and I'm writing again so not to worry, I've got lots of stuff in the works!

It'll take a little longer than usual, but I am going to be putting out more stuff - first up is Jun's valentine's special, then Seungcheol's Two Many Beds and Changkyun's I Am What I Am! They're all about halfway to 90% done so they will be out and about in due timeeee

I hope you guys are as patient with me as you always are :) I love and appreciate you all very much <3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[altr618157]

Listen man. It's my 2018 brain screaming, but What is that behind Jack?! Did he buy a demon online??? And it's gone later, along with the sign! The demon stole his Top of the Mornin coffee sign??????

[karda]

its slow and tedious. and god still plays her little tricks on me.. but i do really think its getting better

[maraschinotopped]

hello brothership fandom. today i present you with the first proper to-be-multi-fic ive written in ages: 'a one-sided bond'. it is about cozette and whatever the fuck shes going through mentally after the end of brothership, through the eyes of literally everybody but cozette. so you can get the true experience of prying her emotional state out of her as god intended. oh and reclusas back too. hes the reason any of this is happening. yay <3

you can go read the first chapter here. more chapters to be released hopefully in some semblance of time.

it is on google docs because ive never posted anything to ao3 in my entire life. and i never created an account on there in the first place. sue me.

a more fancy, proper summary under the cut:

Cozette is, above all else, a conformer to expectations.

She understands that everybody expects her to return to her Wattanist duties, what she dedicated her life to do. What she was brainwashed to break away from, they say. She knows the reality- it haunts mercilessly, eating away at her- but its easier to accept what other people tell her is true rather than face it. So, she rewrites the truth in her mind. She takes up her Wattanist duties once again, and falls into a familiar routine..

...for all of two days, before Reclusa inexplicably reappears and she can feel herself unravel from the inside out due to the implications.

[wildfairies]

im having such an identity crisis about my editing lately

[smanfa]

nellie got new hair whoa

[shepscapades]

new pfp soon me thinks!!! sweats

[anonymous-dentist]

Or: In a world where everybody has a superpower, Roier doesn't seem to have one

For day five of @smallchaoscryptid's Spiderbit Week- Superheroes/Blood

-

Cellbit's dreams are always dark. They start with him in his childhood bedroom, and then they move him down to the kitchen his parents died in, and then they end with him under the bridge. The sounds are muffled, but he can still understand what's being said, and it's always: "It's your fault."

Because it is.

He's had the same dreams since the night his parents died.

Every.

Goddamn.

Night.

But, well. He deserves it. The darkness surrounding the edges of his dream blurs out the unimportant details, like the face of the little girl who was sitting at the kitchen table when Cellbit's parents died, or the view outside of his bedroom window.

But the darkness hides something else- and this is a recent development, and he really doesn't understand it. Because, just out of view, is a figure in all black with eyes that glow white and claws that tear through Cellbit's dreams like they're paper.

He doesn't know who, or what, this thing is, but he does know a few things about it:

The creature destroys Cellbit's nightmares, sending his subconscious tumbling into a much happier dream- one that he can never remember when he wakes up

The creature tries to talk to him every time, but the fangs in its mouth are so large that it just can't

The creature seems to grow taller and stronger with every nightmare it destroys.

The creature is scared of Cellbit's husband

Now, yeah, sure, the creature can't talk, but Cellbit doesn't need to hear someone speak to know what they're afraid of. That's his superpower: fear. He can look at someone and hear what they're scared of, and he can make them scared, and it's horrible and he's a monster and he deserves to-

Cellbit gasps his way into full consciousness. He stares at the ceiling, chest heaving, brain loud and annoying and and and and-

"Gatinho?" Roier murmurs, curled up by Cellbit's side with his head pillowed on Cellbit's chest. He wraps an arm around Cellbit's middle and squirms closer, somehow, he's so clingy.

"Está bem," Cellbit breaths. "Just... just thinking."

"Well, don't," Roier grumbles. "Your brain is loud. Sleep, pendejo."

As if on command, Cellbit's eyelids droop. Roier always has this effect on him; he's just so comforting. He's a living, breathing weighted blanket, and Cellbit loves him so fucking much.

Soon enough, he's asleep again, and he's face-to-face with the creature again.

The creature tries to speak, but no noise comes out.

It flexes its claws as Dream Cellbit starts the walk downstairs to the kitchen.

The dream is shredded, and Cellbit finds himself face-to-face with-

-

Roier and Cellbit have been married for almost one whole entire wonderful year. He's known Roier for one and a half years, and he's been out of prison for two years.

Roier knows about the creature in Cellbit's dreams, even if Cellbit hasn't told him what his dreams actually are. Roier's been trying to come up with a name for it for months now, but Cellbit doesn't really know what to think of that considering the creature is literally invading his brain every night.

"It's kind of sweet, though, right?" Roier asks.

Cellbit wrinkles his nose and jabs his chopsticks down into his rice.

Dinner tonight is Chinese takeout because Roier's tired from work and Cellbit is tired from existing. It's good, but kind of bland. Since they changed ownership and ended up under the Federation of Heroes' official branding, the food has gone downhill. Yet another thing that Cucurucho has ruined, ugh.

"I mean, maybe?" Cellbit replies. "It's kind of freaky."

"I don't know, it kind of sounds cute."

Cellbit gives Roier a flat look; Roier just grins and steals some chicken from his plate.

"It's destroying my dreams," Cellbit says. "That doesn't sound 'cute' to me."

"Yeah, but doesn't it give you different dreams?" Roier asks. "I think it's trying to help."

"Yeah, or it's trying to kill me."

Roier's shoulders tighten. "Do you think so?"

It's always hard to pick up Roier's fears, but Cellbit can often just guess them even without using his powers. Like, he knows that Roier is just scared enough of bears to refuse to go camping anywhere without a cabin for him to stay him. He and Cellbit are both terrified of losing each other, and they're even more scared of losing their kids.

God, Cellbit is so stupid. He doesn't need to be worrying Roier with this, he already freaks out enough when Cellbit ends up caught in the middle of one of the Federation's hero fights due to his abysmally terrible luck.

His face falls. He places his chopsticks down and reaches across the table and takes Roier's hand in his.

"It'll be fine," he tells Roier. "If it tries to kill me, I'll just... wake up."

"If it tries to kill you, I'll kick its ass," Roier swears.

He squeezes Cellbit's hand once and offers a lackluster smile.

Cellbit's heart twists in his chest. Oh, Roier...

-

The night's dream starts as usual:

Cellbit opens his eyes to find himself in his childhood bedroom in his childhood body. There aren't any bloodstains on his clothes yet, though that'll change soon enough.

He tries looking out the window, but that isn't what he did that night, so anything beyond the window is covered by the darkness.

There's a growl, and then the creature forms in the shadows near Cellbit's bed. (There are always two beds in his room, but why?)

"What do you want?" Cellbit tries to ask, but that isn't what he did that night.

Instead, and in a squeaky childish voice, he groans and shouts, "This sucks! I can't figure it out!"

He's at his desk. In front of him are multiplication tables he's supposed to be doing for homework, and they're easy enough that Adult Cellbit could do them now, but that isn't what happened that night. So the problems look like random lines and squiggles, and Cellbit's chest hurts, and he can't breathe, and-

"I can't do this!" he shouts, jumping off of his chair and pulling his homework with him. "Mãe!"

He reaches his door, has his hand on the handle, and then... there's the creature by his side shredding the door into pieces with its claws.

Cellbit blinks, and he's an adult again, and he's in a different dream, and he turns to the side and he's face-to-face with-

-

Roier is one of the few people Cellbit has ever heard of that doesn't have a superpower. He seems happy enough without one, but... but Cellbit thinks that he's lying. He isn't angry that Roier is lying, though. No, he understands, because he himself lied about not having powers until they'd been dating for six months.

In the back of his mind, Cellbit has a few ideas of what Roier's secret superpower could be. The only one he says out loud is, "I know what your power is. You're super handsome!"

But, in order, it goes:

Extreme endurance (evidence: goes for long runs every morning and ends up back in bed sweating and tired by the time Cellbit wakes up)

Can always cook the perfect meal (evidence: he's just really good at cooking)

Comfort aura (evidence: Cellbit always feels happy and cozy and safe when Roier is around)

Super strength (evidence: he's really strong)

But, well. None of those quite work, mostly because the majority of them are just early excuses for thinking Roier was attractive back before they started dating.

Tonight as Cellbit brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed, he thinks up a new idea:

Vocal projection (evidence: he's loud as fuck when he's singing in the shower)

Because, yes, Roier is, indeed, in the shower, and he's singing very loudly. But, really, Cellbit wouldn't have him any other way. He's perfect.

"Hey, guapito," Cellbit says after rinsing his mouth out. "I need your help with something?"

Roier cuts his song off with an irritated groan. "Now? I was almost to the chorus!"

"Desculpe. But you're better at naming things than I am, and I need help coming up with something to call the creature in my dream diary."

"You have a dream diary?"

"I'm starting it tonight. I'm going to figure this thing out."

"That's cute!"

Cellbit can see Roier's silhouette shaking with silent laughter through the shower curtain. Wordlessly, he opens the curtain so he can take the shower head down and spray Roier with it.

"It's serious," Cellbit says, ignoring Roier's screeching protests. "I think it's messing with my head."

"Put that down- vete a la verga, fuck!"

Roier bats at Cellbit's hands until Cellbit lowers the shower head.

And then Roier yanks the shower head away from him and sprays him with it.

"Pendejo!" Cellbit shouts. (Not the best swear word, but it's all he could come up with on such short notice.)

He skitters away from the shower and looks, horrified, down at his soaking wet pajamas.

"Whoops," Roier plainly says. "Guess you'll just have to sleep naked tonight."

He grins, and Cellbit hates him. He wants to kiss him soooo badly!

So he does, and it's nice.

A few minutes later as they crawl into bed, Roier says, "Hey. I have a name for your monster."

Cellbit looks at him. "Yeah?"

"Call it Venom. It's, like, dissolving your dreams, right? Like poison?"

Brain poison, hmm.

Cellbit grabs his brand new dream journal off of his bedside table and opens it. Right on the first page is a long, detailed description of his dream. Right below it is a description of the creature as well as a really messy drawing.

'Venom', he writes.

...What a specific descriptoin. "Dissolving your dreams", not quite how Cellbit has been describing it.

He glances at Roier out of the corner of his eye.

Hm.

-

The first part of the dream goes normally.

And then Cellbit is downstairs at the kitchen table with his parents. There's also a girl there, but Cellbit hadn't looked at her face that night, so she doesn't have one now.

"I can't do it," Cellbit whines. He balls his hands into fists and fights the urge to smash his own face into the table.

"You can," his father insists. "You're a smart kid! Why don't we take a break."

He gets up from the table and goes to cut some watermelon.

Cellbit knows what's about to happen next. But he can't close his eyes, because his eyes were open that night.

"Let's try one more time, okay?" his mother asks.

He sniffles and nods.

He looks down at the problems. He can't understand him, he's so stupid. He's so stupid! Why can't he be like [her]?! She's good at math. She's even finished her homework.

His vision starts to blur. He can't see. He can't- he can't breathe oh fuck he can't breathe why can't he breathe what why can't he

A scream.

He looks up and watches his father finish plunging his watermelon-cutting knife into his own stomach.

"Pai!?" the girl screeches.

"I can't do it," Cellbit's mother whispers. "I'm a failure. I can't do it."

She wrestles Cellbit's pencil from his hand and raises it to her eye and-

Cellbit gasps as a clawed hand rips the table into pieces in front of him.

As the dream shifts and as his body turns back into his own, he's pulled by the creature- by Venom- into a loose hug. Its claws dig into his back, but they don't hurt.

He looks up, and he finds himself face-to-face with-

-

Roier was the first person that Cellbit let himself get attached to after he was released from prison.

He'd met Roier by pure chance, and it was love at first sight. He was just so... and he's still so...

"Does this dress make my ass look big?" Roier asks, posing in front of Cellbit in a way that most people would probably call sexy.

...perfect.

They'd met at their mutual friend, Maxo's, club. Roier wasn't on the pole that night, he was instead working the bar, and he and Cellbit hit it off immediately.

The next time Cellbit had been gone, Roier wasn't there, but his 'cousin' was. Melissa, according to Roier, owns half of the club.

And then, seven months later while rummaging through Roier's closet looking for a hoodie to steal, Cellbit had seen one of Melissa's dresses, and, well. Cellbit isn't stupid, okay? But he hadn't said anything because he didn't want to break Roier's trust, and he lives by that idea even now almost two years after their marriage.

If Roier wants to tell him something, he will. It isn't Cellbit's place to push.

Cellbit checks out Roier's ass appreciatively.

"Everything you wear makes your butt look big," he replies.

Roier nods and smiles, more than content with that answer, and he goes to the other side of his dressing room to start putting his makeup on.

Cellbit tries to make it to every one of "Melissa's" shows. He's a good husband, he wants to support Roier in everything he does.

...And he can't sleep anymore unless he has Roier by his side. Does that make him clingy?

He yawns, anyway, and he leans back and slumps in his chair. He might move to the dressing room's sofa, he's exhausted. (He might not be able to sleep without Roier, but he can rest his eyes, at least.)

"Is it okay if I stay back here?" he asks. "I need to lay down."

Roier glances at him through his mirror, concern lining his face. "Are you okay?"

Cellbit waves his concerns aside. "I'm just a little tired. I don't think I'm going to fall asleep, but I don't want to accidentally pass out during your show. That would be bad for business."

Roier's eyebrows furrow, just slightly. "Are you sure?"

"I mean, if it's okay-"

"No!" Roier cuts him off so quickly that he even seems to surprise himself. "I mean. It's okay, but you might not be comfortable. I can try and find you a pillow?"

His voice is shaking, just slightly. Hm.

"Nah, I'm good," Cellbit replies. He shrugs his jacket off and balls it up in his arms. "I've slept in worse places before."

"If- if you're sure, then go ahead."

Something feels... off. Maybe it's just because Cellbit is tired, but something is just. Weird.

But Roier eventually leaves the dressing room, though not without giving Cellbit a big fat messy lipstick-covered kiss on the lips.

Cellbit moves to the sofa, and he pillows his head on his jacket, and he closes his eyes, and he... he falls asleep. Just barely, because his dream is a faded memory around him, but. But.

But Venom isn't there.

-

The third stage of the dream is the coldest. It gnaws at Cellbit's brain, because it was the middle of January when his parents died. He was alone and under the bridge and covered in blood and absolutely freezing.

The dream doesn't ever go on past the bridge. He always just sits there shivering until he wakes up unless Venom shows up.

So he sits, and he shivers, and he waits to wake up. His body is crying, and the tears are freezing to his cheeks. He can't breathe. He can't stop thinking of... of... fuck, who is that girl? The one who chased Cellbit out of the house. The one with no face but the same voice as him.

A police car speeds over the bridge above him. It's going to his house, he knows this. The morning after the bridge, he snuck back towards his house, and the police car was still there. So was the girl. So were his parents bodies, wrapped in sheets and being carried to a Federation-white van.

He's a mistake. [She] was always better than him. [She] never hurt anybody. It isn't fair!

He sobs and buries his face in his knees. He won't sleep tonight, Cellbit remembers staying up all night because he couldn't close his eyes without seeing his parents die in front of him, and he still can't close his eyes without seeing it.

"I'm a monster," he whimpers, the first time he'd ever spoken those words, but not the last. (Later, he would try to embrace them and become the monster the media labeled him as, but it didn't help.)

There's a snarl above him, and then there's Venom standing above him with its fangs bared.

"I-" Cellbit chokes, forced to repeat what he'd said all those years ago. "I need to turn myself in. I have to!"

He stands. Venom moves to block him, grabbing onto his shoulders and holding him in place.

"There have to be healer heroes," Cellbit reasons. "They can fix them."

(They can't, and they won't.)

If possible, Venom looks distraught. The darkness wavers around it, and that's when Cellbit realizes that this is the closest they've really gotten to each other. This close, he can almost make out a face hidden behind Venom's teeth, buried deep within its mouth. But it's too dark, but if he looks hard enough...

Venom steps back, and he tears the bridge apart, and Cellbit finds himself face-to-face with-

-

Roier is cooking dinner tonight, and it smells wonderful. Of course it does, Roier's the one cooking it. Everything he cooks is wonderful, because he's wonderful.

Cellbit sits at the table watching. The kids are all in the other room doing homework, and it's almost peaceful.

Roier slips with the spatula and drops it into the pan. He swears and scoops it out and swears again as the oil inside burns him.

Again, almost peaceful.

Cellbit swiftly stands from his chair and goes to help Roier.

"Here, let me-"

Roier lightly smacks his hand. "Não, não. Go away."

"Mmm, what if I wanna stay with you?"

He slips an arm around Roier's waist and snuggles up against his back. He rests his chin on Roier's shoulder and watches a beautiful smile spread across Roier's face.

"I guess it's fine," Roier sighs, playing up the theatrics. "I guess."

And then it's peaceful once more. Cellbit watches Roier cook, and he pays special attention to Roier's biceps. (Sue him, his husband is hot.)

But then, in the other room, Richarlyson starts shouting:

"This is stupid!"

"Calm down," Bobby drawls. "It's just multiplication, let me see-"

"No, I can do it!"

Cellbit tenses. Roier doesn't seem to notice, and that's fine. It's nothing for either of them to worry about.

"You've literally been working on that for hours," Bobby argues. "Let me see."

"Não!"

Quietly, Pepito pipes up with, "I wanna see!"

"No!" Richarlyson yells. "I can- I can do it!"

"Let me see," Pepito pleads.

(Cellbit can't see.)

"Fuck you, give me the homework," Bobby snaps.

"Fuck you, it's mine!" Richarlyson exclaims.

(Cellbit can't breathe.)

"You literally can't even do it," Bobby mocks. "Give it."

(Cellbit can't-)

The world dissolves around him, and all he can see is his father's body sprawled across the floor and his mother across from him still muttering about how useless she is as he still muttered about how useless he is and he's both 26 years old and eight and he can't breathe and and and and and-

"Cellbit!" he hears. Two warm, gentle hands settle on his cheeks, and he blinks, and he's in his own kitchen. With his husband. Crying.

"It's fine," Roier whispers. He presses his forehead against Cellbit's, eyes slipping shut. "It isn't going to happen again. You're fine. They're fine. It's fine."

Cellbit blinks. The kitchen sounds miles and miles away, but he still heard that, and he knows for certain that he not once has told anybody about the night he killed his parents.

He swallows, fresh tears stinging at his eyes. "What isn't going to happen again?"

Roier tenses, but he doesn't move. His eyes squeeze even further shut, but he doesn't move. His mouth narrows into a pencil-thin line, but he doesn't move.

Cellbit can barely feel his hands, but he still moves his arms to hold Roier around the middle. The kids are still fighting in the background, but... but he can't handle them right now.

In a minute.

"Do we have to talk about it?" Roier hesitantly asks.

Cellbit's answer is immediate: "No. Just... sorry. I'm sorry."

Roier's brow furrows. "'Sorry'? Sorry for what, eh?"

"You shouldn't have to see all... all that. I don't even want to talk about it, but-"

"No, shut up. I'm sorry for sneaking into your dreams every night. It kinda just happens, I don't control it, but... it happened, and you were so sad, and I wanted to help."

Cellbit smiles faintly. His own eyes slip shut, and he can almost not see the bodies this time.

"You do help," he responds. "You help more than you could ever imagine, even outside of the dreams."

He tips his head up to kiss Roier, soft and brief and gentle.

Against Cellbit's lips, Roier mutters, "I can stop."

Cellbit shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. Now that I know it's you, I can stop freaking out about a buff scary monster guy haunting me."

Roier huffs out a quiet laugh. "I can try and be less scary, but I don't control that, either."

"It's still you. Just... God, does this make me a monsterfucker?"

Roier's laugh is much louder this time. He bites Cellbit's bottom lip before pulling back.

Cellbit's eyes open, and he looks into Roier's, and he can see the love in them, and he can feel the love in his own.

God-damn, how did he get this lucky?

"Who are you calling a monster?" Roier demands. He pinches Cellbit's side and turns back to the stove. "Fuck you, sleep alone tonight. I don't even care."

Cellbit smiles and invades his husband's space once more. He hooks his chin over Roier's shoulder, and he sighs against Roier's cheek.

"Te amo," he says. He presses a chaste kiss to the side of Roier's jaw.

Roier's ears turn red, but his face betrays no emotion.

"Your breath smells," he says, a smile teasing at his own lips. "Go brush your teeth before we eat."

Cellbit rolls his eyes, but he leaves to go do as he's told if only to try and finish panicking on his own and try and calm down before dinner.

He passes through the living room, and he sees Bobby at the table helping Richarlyson with his homework.

Some things do change, after all.

[shiningstarr15]

The Illusion of Control

But we all know whose really pulling the strings

Tbh this was just an excuse to draw the corrupted versions of the glamrocks and vanny. I haven’t drawn her since.. like.. march 😅😭

Still working on getting better at lighting but I’m happy with how the glowing eyes turned out lol

Enjoy :3

[fumifooms]

People have pointed out that Toshiro takes the place of Marcille in the second anime OP poses in the first page here, but less so the implications of it. The second picture is from the second page of this "what if" extra, so Toshiro "replacing" Marcille in a way, or at least it feeling like that, is not only intentional but pretty straightforwardly the secondary punchline of the comic.

Already in the first panel Marcille looks less like her usual hater disgruntled face and more worried, sad almost… And isn’t that what Marcille’s afraid of? Being replaced and left behind. Isn’t that why she’s so defensive with Shuro, that she dislikes him, that she’s borderline territorial? That if Toshiro succeeds in wooing Falin he’d be taking her away from her, that he’d be taking her spot in Falin’s heart, that Falin would leave for Wa, not unlike how she went with Laios instead of staying with her and how it hurt her. Here her relationship-defining words of affection and devotion are literally getting overwritten by someone else’s as he replaces her. When Falin laser focuses and she has to choose someone, she will leave one to stay with the other, and Marcille is so afraid she’ll choose someone else. And now not only is he trying to steal Falin away but Laios daydreams about him literally taking her spot, one Touden already unconditionally likes him.

Meanwhile, not only does Toshiro not act like himself here but it’s in their imagination, Laios’ imagination. The way he replaces Marcille isn’t an accident though it isn’t conscious either, and it’s telling: Laios gets along well with Marcille and likes her, so he uses her as a template for what being good friends with someone looks like. They’re friends, this in itself is ironically a testament to how special Marcille is.

It is a plot point through canon that she’s insecure, several times worried the party will leave her behind, because of her mana sickness, injuries or because she can’t keep up. It’s even in the original panels the comic is referencing above. She’s always been the hypercompetent and performant class prodigy, until Falin did that dungeonium so potent it overshadowed everyone else’s, which made Marcille chase her and caused their friendship. She’s terrified of what’ll happen if she loses her usefulness and her identity as the smart competent one, what other surprises will suddenly show up and blow all her expectations out the water, and leave her behind in the unknown feeling powerless and alone.

[mishy-mashy]

Imagine we get to the Paranormal Orphans chapter (410) in the anime, and instead of a normal narrator like Midoriya or AFO, it's just- Present Mic.

*Present Mic*

DAMN MAMA-RAKI! YOU REALLY GAVE BIRTH TO THAT?!

If only he was swept away by the river at birth and drowned- COUGH!!!

[always-a-king-or-queen]

As a boy king in Narnia, Edmund Pevensie once swore privately to the stars that should his siblings ever die in battle, he would die with them. Protecting them to the end, so their fear might be lessened by the thought that they weren’t alone. 

But irony would have it that the bloodshed of war did not bring about their end, but rather a train built of steel and glass, hurtling from its tracks onto the greenery of a steep English hillside.  

Edmund does not forget the promise he made so long ago, in another world he can no longer access. He remembers that promise in his final moments, as the train flips and rolls and flings him and his siblings like rag dolls. He feels it burning deep in his heart, feels the stars smiling somewhere in the distant past as he wraps his arms around Lucy and Peter and shuts his eyes a final time. 

Only a few minutes before the derailment, the three of them sit in an otherwise empty train compartment, silent and each occupied by their own thoughts. Edmund is gazing out the window at the flashing scenery when he gets the sensation that something is horribly wrong. 

There is a faint tingling that crawls suddenly up and down his spine, chilling him to the bone, and he sucks in a breath, eyes going glassy as the scenery blurs outside the window. For a moment he is back in Narnia, standing by Peter’s side, hair windswept and helmet tucked beneath one arm as he surveys the battlefield before them. He can almost see the army sprinting towards them over the lush grass, can almost hear the roars and yowls and screeches from both sides, can almost smell the tang of unspilled blood. His sword is nearly tangible in his fingers, heavy in his grip, the engraved hilt cold and familiar against his palms. 

The tingling against his spine swells into a roaring pressure, and Edmund is pulled roughly from the battlefields of his memory, jolting back into the present with violence. This feeling– this horrible, gut-wrenching, bone-crushing feeling that grips his throat and lungs– this is how he felt before his first battle against the Witch and her army. A sense of impending doom, scraping against his teeth with aggression and burning his heart; he knows it all too well. 

Edmund swallows again, missing the distant weight of his sword in his hands as he fully returns to himself. The train is shuddering slightly as they advance along the track, English countryside flashing by outside the windows. Next to him, Lucy hums the haunting melody of a dryad, idly sketching daisies in a blank page of her journal; across from Edmund, Peter flicks through a newspaper, brow furrowed with an intensity Edmund well recognizes from his brother’s days as High King. They are alone in the carriage, the rest of their traveling group crammed into a different car, and for the briefest, most traitorous of moments, it almost feels like their old days, just the four of them. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, together against the world. 

But Susan is no longer with them, and these are not their old days, and something is terribly wrong. 

“Pete.” Edmund keeps his voice even-keeled as always, and his brother doesn’t look up from his paper, simply answering with a distant “Hmmm?” that Edmund knows well enough to translate that he isn’t fully listening. Lucy, on the other hand, flicks her gaze towards Edmund, eyes bright and curious as always as she tips her head. Edmund doesn’t meet her questioning stare. If he dared to, she would read his face in an instant, and he doesn’t want to scare her without necessity. 

But then, he reminds himself with a self-directed scoff and a shake of his head, her title was Valiant. 

It will take more than his current fears to scare her. 

So Edmund pushes away his misgivings and tries again. “Pete,” he says a second time, louder than before. 

This time there must have been an edge to his voice, a sharpness that he’s rarely allowed to frame his words since his days as a bully. Peter looks up from his paper, seeming suddenly to recall that this was the tone Edmund always used in times of peril, and instantly recognizes the expression on Edmund’s face. Calm and controlled, but with an undercurrent of panic flickering at the edges. Panic that was not befitting of a king of Narnia, but that Edmund sometimes couldn’t keep from slipping onto his face in the early days. After all, he had only been a boy then, a boy king in a strange world. Now they are back in their own world, but it is foreign to them, and sometimes he is afraid.  

A touch to his arm. Lucy is leaning towards him, face earnest and undaunted. 

“You sense something, don’t you, Ed?” she asks him simply, and his final facade crumbles. 

He nods wordlessly, hands gripping the flaking leather seat of the train car. 

Peter moves to sit beside him, and Lucy watches them both, waiting. Edmund glances towards her. “Lu,” he says quietly, and reaches for her hand. She takes his willingly, her fingers squeezing his own, and he half-smiles, his other arm stretching towards Peter. 

The High King grasps his brother’s hand firmly, and Edmund exhales, his heart soothed by the wordless reassurance of his siblings. 

“I don’t know quite what is going to happen,” he tells them softly, voice gentle as a winter snowfall and soft as a shaft of sunlight in the western woods. “But something is coming.” 

He sees Lucy the Valiant swallow, her fingers trembling just slightly in his, and Peter the Magnificent lifts his chin, cold fear burning in his eyes. 

Edmund grips their hands tighter. 

“I won’t let anything happen,” he says fiercely. “To either of you.” 

It is a vain promise, but they cannot peer into the future. They cannot foresee the grinding, twisting metal and searing flames that await them, mere moments ahead. And so his siblings simply smile at him and scoot a little bit closer, holding his promise close and silently vowing to do the same for him. Peter sits tall and straight, his shoulder pressed against Edmund’s, and Lucy leans her head on his shoulder, her journal forgotten.

Edmund is just beginning to think that perhaps he was wrong when there is a deafening, thunderous screech from the front of the train, a grinding cacophony of clashing metal.  

The sound of the world ending. 

In the same instant, Lucy and Peter’s hands are ripped from Edmund’s with a feral violence. “Ed!” Lucy screams, thrown backwards against the wall of the car. Peter slams his head into the roof and slumps unconscious to the floor, and the car bucks wildly, windows shattering and spitting out shards of broken glass. 

Edmund tumbles head over heels as the train flips and rolls in its derailment, crashing into Lucy and Peter again and again as they each come dangerously close to being thrown from the broken windows, yet somehow escaping each time. He catches snatches of broken screams filtering from other cars, desperate and agonized, and swiftly pieces together that they have mere moments before the end.  

Lucy slams into Edmund again, hair askew as she scrabbles to grab hold of something, and Edmund wraps an arm around her, stopping her tumble midair. His other hand closes around the now-empty frame of a window, briefly anchoring them both, and the train slows suddenly in its maddening descent. Edmund has the distant thought that perhaps that is not mere coincidence, because the train seems to be rolling almost in slow motion, shards of glass flying past their faces as if in a dream. 

Peter, still unconscious with blood dripping down his forehead, tumbles over to Edmund and Lucy’s feet, faster than the train is currently moving, and Edmund makes a swift calculation. 

“Get down,” he says softly to Lucy, releasing her. She drops into a crouch next to Peter, and Edmund kneels beside her, taking a final look at the train car as it rotates with an almost magical slowness, allowing them to have a last moment together. 

Seconds. They have seconds left. He doesn’t know quite why he’s certain of that, but he is. 

Lucy has flattened herself against Peter, weeping softly and whispering with the irrationality of grief, “Wake up,” and Edmund wraps his arms over both of them and closes his eyes, hugging his siblings tightly with all the love he was never able to articulate aloud. 

“Goodbye,” he whispers, though peace fills his heart as light begins to glow through his closed eyelids. “I’ll see you both soon.” 

Lucy's hand finds his and squeezes it tight.

The train flips a final time, and glass and metal explode in a deafening burst of fire, smearing the sky in clouds of ash and smoke. A lion’s roar echoes briefly in the flames of the wreckage.

And somewhere, in a realm flooded with golden light, the Pevensies open their eyes.

[yeyinde]

have you read (and/or enjoyed) Haunting Adeline? I’ve seen some stuff about it that kinda piques my interest but i have seen a ton of people say it sucks and i’m hesitant to buy it in case i hate it but i trust your judgement lol

when i went searching for dark romance books, it frequently popped up and was one of the first i ended up reading. Haunting Adeline, That Sik Love, the Predator, the Ritual, Den of Vipers, Carnage, Haunt me Darling, Take me With You. pretty much anything that came up on a quick search, i devoured in a span of two weeks. but out of all of them, i was really disappointed by Haunting Adeline :/

it was so hyped up on tiktok, Reddit, goodreads, and rec pages that i was really excited for it, only to feel pretty swindled after. i won't get into spoilers since you haven't read it, but i was not a fan of a lot of the plot choices and character decisions. idk. i guess i just like it when things make sense.

for most of the book, i was bored or mad. usually, if i'm sucked into a plot, i can finish within a few hours of non-stop reading. but this one took me a whole two days to get through. i just wasn't interested in continuing. i'd read a little bit, get overcome with a visceral feeling of "oh for FUCK'S SAKE!" and then do something else because i'd couldn't be bothered to continue. it was not living up to the expectations i had for it (or the ones set by reviews i'd read), but even outside of that, it just didn't click with me at all. i just didn't find the leads compelling enough to stick around. it was trying to be too much at all once, and for me, it failed at a lot of it.

BUT! the smut was good. very hot. fmc made some very typical fmc choices (re: stupid ones that no person living in the real world would have, but easily very forgiveable). for most of it, i was kinda wishing Addie lobbed the mmc upside the head with a shovel. he was so useless, it made me wanna cry. and i love unrepentant mmcs, but i just didn't click with his character at all because he was a walking contraction and his values made little sense to me at all.

in all reality, i should have dnf at 45% but i suffered through and now i wake up in a cold sweat thinking about these lines:

[dearestxiao]

venti would be terrifyingly strong. it's something I think about a lot when I thin about his character. it would be terrifying to get into any sort of altercation with a god as a human, but it'd be even worse with venti, because you'd never see his strength coming. he's so silly and unserious most of the time, the most light-hearted man you know. his docile, friendly appearance definitely doesn't give away his strength either. he's too sweet, you would've never been able to guess that he could pin you down easily without breaking a sweat, or absolutely manhandle you with a frightening amount of ease. you'd never see it coming, really.

[jrueships]

zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it