#chan college au

[facioleeknow]

The art of pleasure ° Stray Kids

When one girl in your class makes fun of you for being a virgin at a party, you are left distraught. It's only natural that you decide to whine about it to your best friend, Bang Chan; but he does more than lending a shoulder to cry on, he comes up with a solution. He and his 7 friends will help you and teach you all about the pleasure of the flesh. What could go wrong?

Genre: College AU, SMUT 18+ ONLY

TW: smut, fraternity SKZ, inexperienced reader, experienced stray kids, more detailed warnings will be in each chapter

Chapter 1 : Caress ° Bang Chan

Chapter 2: Venus ° Lee Know

Chapter 3: Mars ° Changbin

Chapter 4: Charm ° Hyunjin

Chapter 5: Urgency ° Han

Chapter 6: Authority ° Felix

Chapter 7: Docility ° Seungmin

Chapter 8: Company° IN

Thank you guys so much for the support on this series, here you can find the sequel <3

[jinistd]

𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐘

p. hyunjin × fem!reader

g. smut & fluff

w. 4K

content warning: smut, explicit sexual content, unestablished relationship, smoking, hyunjin gets high, consensual, hyunjin is a service top, use of pet names (hyunjin calls reader kitten/kitty)

masterlist

“-y/n?” she hears Felix call from beside her. The younger had been yapping all period about the party tonight, and y/n didn’t mean to be rude, she really didn’t, but she couldn’t help her mind drifting off onto more important things! Said things being a certain someone that has been making appearance after appearance in her daily daydreaming. Now she's not exactly complaining per se, but she is a little confused as to why her friend has been plaguing her mind more frequently than usual. It could be anything really, from his soothing voice to his dark brown eyes that always held an emotion Y/N couldn’t quite decipher, to his big, veiny hands that always had Y/N's mind drifting to other things. Things like how they would look in hers, how they would look around her waist, or between her thighs-

“Y/N!” You are again pulled from your thoughts as Felix gently kicks your leg under the table, whisper-yelling so as to not draw too much attention to you. You look at him sheepishly, brows drawn together with a small, apologetic smile on your face. “I’m sorry Lixie, what were you saying?” The boy’s frown only deepens, inching closer to you.

Felix squints his eyes as if he’s trying to find something. “Are you ok? You’ve been zoning out lately. Like, more than usual.” He diagnoses, again leaning further into your space, and at this point, it probably looks very odd from an outside perspective.

Blinking, you wonder if you should tell Felix what you've been thinking about recently. Telling Felix would mean also telling Han indirectly, but that’s technically not a bad thing because Han has much better advice than Felix anyway. You decide that it wouldn’t hurt to tell your best friend.

You purse your lips, looking at the professor at the front of the classroom. “Felix, may I ask you something?” You start hesitantly, cheeks tingeing lightly as you keep your eyes away from the boy next to you. Felix raises a brow with a ghost of a smirk creeping its way onto his face, pulling away from you to lean back in his chair.

“Of course, Y/N! What’s got the puppy blushing?” The nickname only stirs your insides a little bit, nowhere near the sensation when Hyunjin calls you by the name. You gather yourself momentarily, piecing together your thoughts and looking around just to make sure no one is paying attention to you, which is unlikely for how far away you guys are from the rest of the class, and the amount of people. “How do you know if you like someone?” you finally let out, rushed, searching your friend's eyes for any minute reaction. It’s not like you doesn’t know you like Hyunjin, you're sure you do, but it seemed like the safest question to ask.

Felix's face shifts from surprise, brows raised, and mouth parted slightly, to smug almost instantaneously. “Oh? Does Y/N have a crush?” He asks, voice saccharinely sweet and teasing.

Leaning forward to shove his friend's shoulder half-heartedly, you whine, “Don’t tease! Just answer the question.” You sit back in your chair, watching as Felix feigns hurt for all of five seconds before he’s back to smiling at you. This time it’s downright maniacal, reminding you of the Cheshire cat, and you're just a bit terrified as the boy opens his mouth to say something. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

The blush that was slowly fading has come back in full force, bright reds painting your cheeks as you freeze. Felix gasps, eyes wide and mouth agape. “Oh my god, It’s totally Hyunjin!” He concludes, giggling like a kid at Christmas as he stares at your panic-stricken face. “Lixie it’s not funny!” Huffing, he turns away from his friend and to his notebook, which is barren of the notes they should’ve been taking. Felix seems to catch onto the fact that you are genuinely worried about whatever is going on and decides to save the teasing for later.

“Y/N, I don't know exactly how you feel, but Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t turn you down if you asked him out.” He assures because really, the elder would probably leap at the chance to go on a date with you. I mean who wouldn’t? You may not know, but most of their friends had developed a crush on him at some point, all having gotten over it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

You seem confused by his statement as he tilts his head to the side, eyes asking Felix a question. “What do you mean?” you say softly, almost as if your scared to know the answer. And to this, Felix just kind of stares at you for a moment, trying to figure out if you are making a joke. But your face doesn’t change one bit, staying in a state of confusion. He looks to the side as if there's a camera before turning back to the still-confused Y/N.

“Y/N, do you really not know?” Felix asks slowly, letting the words settle in the air around you. Dark hair shifting as you shake your head, you let out a small ‘no’.

At this, Felix laughs lightly, disbelieving at just how oblivious you are. “Hyung looks at you like you’re the only person in the world. He has these heart eyes, you know? And have you seen him around other people? Bro could not care less about anyone but you, he doesn’t even try to hide it! He’s also really rude to people who try to flirt with him, like, he looks at them like he’s disgusted by their presence. Disgusted Y/N! Have you really never noticed? He’s so obvious about it too…” He trails off, realizing that you had gone silent as he ranted about their older friend's behavior.

When Felix looks over at you, your face is blank with surprise, eyes widened and your bottom lip falling. “He doesn’t do that…” Your voice is nowhere near convincing.

“Sure, he doesn’t.” Is all Felix says before changing the subject again, but you are hardly paying attention.

You are two seconds away from running out the front door of the house. You rarely go to parties, and every time you do, you're reminded as to why. It’s loud, so loud, there's people grinding on each other everywhere, and you lost Felix in the crowd, so you're all alone at a party where you don’t know anyone. Yay!

You're looking around the living room for anyone you may know, or just to not look like an idiot, but either works, and you're almost successful! You think you see Hyunjin sitting on the couch rolling a blunt on the table in front of him, but as soon as you're about to walk over, something—no someone— is blocking your view.

“Hey.” The stranger smirks down at you, the warped smile looking all types of wrong on his face. It makes him look creepy and gross, causing you to cringe at their closeness.

“Can I help you?” You force yourself to be polite, manners still thoroughly intact even in the undesirable circumstances. The boy only increases the disgustingness of his smirk, raking his eyes up and down your body.

You shift in your spot as you look away, uncomfortably folding your arms over your chest and trying your best to glance over the stranger’s shoulder in search of Hyunjin. But the older isn’t on the couch anymore. You deflate, only to suck in a breath at the feeling of an arm being wrapped around his shoulder.

“Hi Baby.” Hyunjin’s voice is a whisper in his ear, lips brushing against the skin. You flush as a shudder runs through your body, you turn to look up at Hyunjin in surprise, his eyes already burning into yours. “Jinnie?” You question softly. Your faces are so close together, you wonder if the taller can hear your heart racing at the proximity.

Hyunjin’s hand comes up to your face, caressing your jaw. “I was looking for you,” He giggles, leaning in closer to your face, inches away. And he makes it sound so real, as if he really was looking for you amidst the crowd, which after the information Felix had shared with you earlier today, has a good chance of being true. Suddenly, Hyunjin looks away from you, eyes set on the stranger who is still standing there, his gaze murderous.

“Can I help you?” The taller spits, standing to his full height and dropping his hand down to your waist to pull you into his body. The boy practically squeaks before scurrying off with his tail between his legs, leaving you two alone.

Your body immediately deflates, leaning yourself into Hyunjin’s comforting hold easily. “Hi Jinnie.” You mumble, turning your head back to look at the older.

Hyunjin softens at the sound of your voice, your eyes finally meeting again. “Hi Y/N-ah.” You preen at the name, your name always sounding different when Hyunjin says it, but to be fair everything sounds different when Hyunjin says it. Better in every way.

He leads the younger to the couch, right where he had been sitting before saving you. Hyunjin picks up the rolled blunt from the table and reaches for the lighter in his pocket.

“y/nnie.” He calls simply, letting the name permeate in the air. You tilt your head to the elder, looking up at him. You aren't sitting far apart at all, thighs touching as Hyunjin lays back against the couch with the new blunt resting in his mouth. His left-hand falls to your thigh, rubbing small and comforting circles into the rough material of your jeans.

It wasn’t comforting at all though, you immediately flush at the feeling of the elder's large hand on your thigh. It was a regular occurrence for Hyunjin to put his hands on you, but each time it set your body alight with nerves.

“Kitty,” God. This boy must want to kill you.

You choke, sputtering as you continue to stare at Hyunjin’s side profile. The elder takes a long drag, holding it for a few seconds and then exhaling. He turns to you. “You should try this.”

And you probably shouldn't, but when Hyunjin’s looking at you as if he's the only person in the room while asking you to do something that seems so mundane, how could you possibly say no? You're a weak woman.

So, you take the offered blunt and presses it to your lips, not really knowing what to do next. Hyunjin seems to understand your dilemma and takes mercy on you because you next hear instructions on how to smoke properly.

“Suck it like a straw, inhale, hold, exhale. Do it gently, or you’re gonna cough.” He smiles at you, teasing as you give him a quizzical expression and nods your head hesitantly.

You still cough. Violently. Your lungs burn as you hand the offensive object back to its original owner, who is now laughing. “Stop laughing!” You whine when you finally catch your breath, throat still burning. Hyunjin’s hand squeezes your thigh tighter as he laughs, head tilted back towards the ceiling. A shiver runs down your spine, Hyunjin is so hot.

“C’mere, kitty.” He grabs the back of your head and tilts your head manually. Stilling, you lay pliant in the others' grasp.

Hyunjin takes a long drag before leaning in, meeting eyes with you wide-eyed and confused. Your lips are parted slightly, just enough so that Hyunjin can lightly press his own against yours to let the smoke travel into your mouth.

The touch is gone as quick as it came.

Hyunjin's own eyes are lidded as he watches. “Suck, inhale, hold, exhale,” he murmurs quietly to you who follows his directions as best as you can, sucking it in like a straw, inhaling, holding, and exhaling.

This time it's much smoother, but the smoke travels from your mouth to Hyunjin’s in a puff, the older boy sucking up the last remnants of it in with confidence.

They're close, so close. You're practically on the other’s lap with how much you had compensated when Hyunjin pulled you in. The air between you is thick as Hyunjin brings the blunt back to his mouth, this time connecting your lips in a real kiss, letting the smoke cloud up around your mouths.

Your eyes flutter shut as they meet, Hyunjin's hand on the back of your head like a brand, heavy and hot. The one that moves to your thigh is no better, tugging on you just enough for you to get the hint that he wants you to sit in his lap. Again, you're a weak woman for Hyunjin, so you go without question.

You feel small like this, sitting in the lap of your friend. You moan against Hyunjin’s mouth as the older grips your waist, it’s not the strongest because the blunt is still between his fingers, but it's more than enough to leave you with the feeling of molten hot desire pooling in your gut.

“Jinnie…” He mumbles into Hyunjin's mouth, curling a fist into his jacket. When he opens his eyes, he sees the gaze the older has fixed on him, lust and want swirling in his dark, hooded eyes.

“Yes, Kitten?” The elder asks teasingly, leaning forward to nip at your plump lower lip. He’s reminded of the blunt in his hands though, pulling it away from your body and taking another hit.

Before he could exhale though, you connect your lips once again, holding onto the side of Hyunjin's face with one of his hands. The kiss is messy, saliva pooling in your mouth and spilling over the corners as Hyunjin kisses you back just as desperately.

But as you continue to share the blunt, your kisses and touches become languid and sweet, delving down into something less rushed. It's still filled with lust however, you're still minutely grinding up or down into each other in the middle of a party on a stranger's couch, but somehow it feels different.

You smile and giggle as you pull away, the weed hasn't hit either of you yet, but you feel light and airy as he stares at Hyunjin.

“Y/N-ah, you're so adorable.” Hyunjin coos, squeezing the side of your waist with no real force. You blush and giggle again, leaning back down to press a peck to the elder's lips. “Jinnie, do you maybe wanna…find a room?” You ask cautiously, making sure to hide yourself in Hyunjin’s neck as you do, hoping that it would serve as a covering.

The content smile on his face grows to a large grin as he cradles the back of your head. “Why don't we go back to my place? It’s only a few minutes from here.” He offers, placing a kiss to your head.

You don't know how the atmosphere changed so quickly. Just a minute ago you were practically cuddling on the couch with a side of kisses and grinding, but now the frottage has gotten out of hand and you're shaking against the elder.

“J-Jinnie! Please, please, please. I’ll be good! I’ll be so good, I swear…” You beg desperately, eyes watering with unshed tears as you stare up at Hyunjin through his lashes.

The older had been teasing you for so long. You just want him to do something to alleviate the ache of your cunt. Hyunjin has his thigh between your legs, pushing down harshly at times, or just simply letting you grind up against him.

He grins down at you. “Yeah? Does my kitty want more?” Hyunjin chides affectionately, his hand holding the side of your face as you relax into the touch.

“Yes.” The way you look is downright seductive. Your clothes aren't even off and your already drooling, hair messy as it lays over your head like a halo, and you're looking up at Hyunjin with these sinfully gorgeous eyes, wide and wanting, pooling with lust. He's sure he doesn't look any better though, just as effected as you in this whole endeavor.

Hyunjin finally lets up, taking his hands back and pulling himself away to take his shirt off. You whine at the loss, but it's soon quieted as you gasp upon seeing Hyunjin without a shirt.

“Jinnie you never told me you worked out…” And for some reason, you sound sad, as if you really were upset that Hyunjin never told you. He pulls off his pants too, letting both articles of clothing fall somewhere on his floor as he moves back to you.

“Baby, are you sure you're ready?” He asks, pausing with his hands on your waist. You thrash, “Jinnie if you don't fuck me right now.” He huffs, trying to sound intimidating but it just comes out as weak and breathless.

Hyunjin's eyes darken, hands working quickly as they rip off your pant and underwear down in one motion, tossing them on the floor and exposing his glistening cunt. “Or what? Hmm Y/N? What are you gonna do if I don't fuck you?” His grip tightens on your hips, blunt nails digging into the soft skin.

There's no bravado in your voice as he speaks, it's lost the longer Hyunjin stares at you with a gaze so hungry and primitive. “I’ll go find someone else.” It's said as a whisper, because it's the furthest thing from the truth—you don't want anyone else other than your Hyunjin to fuck you.

Hyunjin seems to think it's funny, for he tosses his head back in laughter, hands absentmindedly reaching for the fabric that's left on your body.

“We both know you wouldn't even dream of that. ‘Cause you're such a loyal kitten, yeah?” Hyunjin mutters the last part directly into your ear, hot breath hitting the shell and sending a shiver down your spine.

You squeak, Hyunjin's hands finding purchase under your shirt where your chest meets your torso. You nod your head fervently, eyes closing.

Hyunjin only chuckles, crowding into your space. “Yeah, that's right. You're my good girl, aren't you?” It's rhetorical, but you can't help the small, shaky ‘yes’s you let out as Hyunjin kisses down your neck. He pokes his tongue out, letting it taste the subtle saltiness of your skin. Hyunjin sucks harshly at your collarbone, you whimper at the feeling.

“Jinnie. please. Do something…” Your just so desperate. You've been kissing and touching for what feels like hours: Hyunjin has been teasing you for too long and now you're brimming with desire.

When the first tear spills down your cheek, Hyunjin finally takes mercy on you.

“Shh, baby let Jinnie take care of you.” Hyunjin mutters into the furnace that is your skin, pecking the side of your mouth before moving down your body and settling between your legs.

You feel your cunt throb with a fresh spurt of slick as Hyunjin breathes hotly against your folds, just looking. His hands are supporting the underside of your thighs, pushing them up and apart to get a better view.

“Fuck kitty, you're dripping.” And the worst part is that Hyunjin is right. You can feel your arousal as it runs down your legs, it's the dirtiest you've ever felt but you're much too turned on to care.

You're just about to whine for attention again when you feel something warm and hot licking over your clit.

Hyunjin doesn't waste time, sparing you no warning before he abruptly licks a thick stripe up your slit, lapping at the juices that coat your pussy. He groans at the taste, always knowing you would be sweet.

Unable to resist the urge to voice his opinions, Hyunjin speaks his mind. “You taste so good, Y/N.” He hums into you, your pussy clenching around nothing at the praise.

“Jinnie…” You whisper, broken and weak. When Hyunjin looks up at you, your eyes are closed, and your face is drawn up tightly.

Hyunjin sucks harshly at your clit, thighs twitching in his hold. “Ah!” You gasp, your hands instantly moving from their grip on the duvet to lightly grabbing at Hyunjin's hair.

Hyunjin can barely hold back the sounds he’s making, small groans and hums leaving his mouth and vibrating against your entrance as he moves to focus more on it.

Swirling his tongue around the soft hole, he lets your legs rest on his shoulders. You sound so heavenly like this, moaning and whimpering, so fucked out just after a few touches.

His hands massage the skin between your thighs and ass, going back to sucking your clit like candy. Above him, your hands tighten their grip, only serving to spur Hyunjin on.

He flicks his tongue over the swollen bud, pink and puffy with need over and over, making your stomach heave.

“Hyunjin! Ah—Jinnie, so s’good.” You babble, lips shiny and wet with saliva. Hyunjin moans at the sight of drool escaping your mouth and slowly dripping down your chin, feeling his dick throb in his boxers.

He licks into you as if he's been starved his entire life, tongue lapping hungrily over your clit as his nails dig into the soft flesh of your ass. Your legs shake on his shoulders as Hyunjin lets out a long hum, a gasp leaving your mouth at the vibrations. “Hyunjin!” You wail.

In response, Hyunjin presses a wide lick from your entrance to your clit, hooking his tongue around the bud and swirling it around in firm circles. You jolt, the feeling like no other as you moan helplessly.

“Such a good girl, your cunt’s so sweet.” He chuckles, voice gruff as he repeats the action. You are flushed a bright red, cheeks splotchy as tears run down them beautifully.

When your eyes meet, it's heavy, filled with emotion. Your voice is strained as you call for Hyunjin. “Jinnie.” You manage, letting one hand go from Hyunjin's hair in search of one of his own hands.

Hyunjin obliges immediately, slotting your hands together lovingly above your stomach. It's a stark contrast to the way he plunges his tongue back into your sopping entrance, licking up the slick that's now covering his mouth and chin.

He can feel you begin to spasm around him, plush thighs squeezing his head and neck. It’s so hot how you're so desperate, chasing your orgasm as Hyunjin continuously brings you further and further along.

“C’mon baby, be good and cum for Jinnie.” He can feel as you start to crumble, breath becoming much heavier as your eyes start to flutter, moans higher in pitch as you arch your back to push yourself further into Hyunjin's mouth. But it's the next line that really pushes him over the edge.

“Cum for me kitty.” Your mouth is frozen open in a silent scream, air caught in your lungs as your cumming on Hyunjin's face unabashedly. Your body shakes through the process, pussy clenching and unclenching around the elder's tongue in spasmed rhythms.

Hyunjin coaxes you through it all, letting you ride out your high by swallowing every last drop of your release. He doesn't stop until you push his head away with a trembling hand.

When Hyunjin comes up from his spot between your legs, he's met with your glassy eyes looking up at him with a sad look. “‘n/n what's wrong? Did I go too far? Was it too much?” He worries, words slipping from his mouth at a fast pace as his hands come up to cup your warm cheeks.

You shake your head. “Jin, you haven't come yet.” You mumble, pointing down to the very obvious boner he’s sporting. Hyunjin only laughs, thankful that he hadn't overstepped.

“It's okay pretty, I just wanted you to feel good.” Hyunjin assures, kissing your swollen lips sweetly. But it seems like it was the wrong thing to say because now your whining into his mouth.

Pulling away with wide eyes, Hyunjin gives you a curious look. “I want you to…” You look away, blushing furiously, and Hyunjin decides he will be having none of that, turning your head his way again.

“Want me to what?” He pushes, eyes now teasing and expectant. You wriggle in his grip, squirming under the heated gaze.

“‘Wan you to cum on me…” It's barely even a whisper, but Hyunjin still hears, breaking out into a large grin as you look away yet again.

Hyunjin lets go of your face, settling himself between the younger’s legs again. “Yeah? Is that what the kitty wants?” He drawls lowly, reaching into his boxers and releasing his cock from its restraints. He won’t last long at all, his cock is a violet red and it stands up tall, slapping against his stomach.

Gasping when you see the length, you can't help but imagine what it would look like to fit that inside you, what would it feel like. You always knew Hyunjin would be big, but this reaches new lengths.

Hyunjin sees the inner turmoil inside your mind. “Don't worry. Next time, I’ll open you up real nice for me.” He hums, wrapping his hand around the girth and sliding it against the wet surface of your still swollen pussy. Flinching at the sensation, you wince as the head of his cock rubs on his clit so deliciously.

Just as he had thought, it barely takes Hyunjin anything to come, the image of you biting his plump lips and looking up at him while your legs are spread so prettily is more than enough for him to be spilling over his hand with white, hot ropes squirting onto your folds with a loud groan.

He lays himself on top of you after that, careful of his weight but still cuddling into you. You were just so warm and soft. You can't blame him.

“I love you.” Hyunjin blurts into the hot skin of your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you tight. You giggle in his arms, placing a shy kiss on Hyunjin's temple.

“I love you too.”

[daceydeath]

Cigarettes and Cliche Masterlist

Pairings: Bad Boy Felix x Reader Word Count: 44K (currently) Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Drinking, Explicit Activities, Bullying, Mentions of Abuse

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.

Intro  Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 (Coming soon)

Taglist is still open please let me know if you would like to be added to it xx

[bias-fan]

PERFECT MASTERLIST [baseball player!kim seungmin x only fans creator female!reader] -finished-

synopsis: being an onlyfans creator in college is hard sometimes, getting innuendo comments thrown at you, that’s what kitty deals with but ignores it. she meets seungmin by accident, a baseball hitting her face. he knows who she is because of his friends.

pairings: baseball player! seungmin x only fans creator female! reader

warnings: college au, fluff, angst, crack, innuendo jokes, written chapters, maybe smut, sexual themes

genre: crack, angst, sexual themes, fluff

sugar babies✨ binnie is a 🌽⭐️ others

[01: collaboration]

[02: collab and bruised]

[03: mcdonald’s]

[04: please kiss me📝]

[05: fake dating?]

[06: officially, not officially dating]

[07: not actually dating dating]

[08: black hair seungmin supremacy]

[09: get your ex off my back]

[10: he might like her]

[11: wearing his jersey]

[12: rejected date]

[13: back with ex]

[14: fake breaking up]

[15: blocked and friends]

[16: please let me explain📝]

[17: oh yeah, he confessed]

[18: going to confess]

[oursecretways]

Forbidden Feelings Masterlist

older non-idol!Chan x younger! fm! reader genre(s):fluff, angst, slice of life, College/Uni AU, friends to lovers, social-media au warning(s) going to add more as we go if needed: swearing, spiraling thoughts/feeling like not being enough, cursing, violence, age gap

You couldn't help but develop a crush for him; he was always next to you, always reliable. Will you be able to make him see you as an adult? What will your parents and brother say about it?

main master list

.profiles - y/n - │ - chan - .ch 1 - .ch 2 -

🏷️ open

[inuminumz]

haha stans gay awakening or something

[svtdarlingbby]

"He's just a fuck-boy-frat-bro" Fratboy!Bang Chan x fem!Reader

pairing: Frat boy! Bang Chan x fem!Reader; featuring stray kids, '97 liners in Kpop, TXT genre: college au - enemies to lovers - slight angst but mostly fun! warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, reader is kinda mean but so is Chan, one mention of blood, slightly suggestive word count: 8904

Y/N's POV

Whoever declared the false dichotomy that studying English was “easy” did not know the amount of work that went into it. Sure, writing has always been one of my favorite hobbies, but perhaps analyzing the arguments that came into play when it comes to creating effective writing is where my passion lies. 

“You know, it would be more effective if you cut out some of the background information. No one wants to read all of that.”

Speaking of arguments.

“Chan, can you just shut the fuck up and finish the peer review?” I rolled my eyes. Workshop days were usually pretty helpful especially since I tend to procrastinate while being a perfectionist about my writing. However, the professor just had to assign us pairs today and of course, she paired me with Christopher Bahng. Or as he liked to call himself, Bang Chan. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but he’s such a fuck boy. He’s a part of some frat, a string of Greek letters I don’t care to remember. He’s always out partying too with his group of friends. They were so loud when I had the displeasure of meeting them when they sat near me at the library during undergrad as I was trying to write a paper. Let’s just say that I didn’t stay in that area for too long. To put it simply, I did not like Chan, nor did he like me. 

“I’m just saying” he began in a sing-songy voice, “Can’t you just assume your audience understands the background context?” 

He knew how to get on my nerves. “First of all Chan, yes. You’re right. The audience is academic so they probably know what I’m talking about,” I began as he smirked. “However, I only included that much background info to strengthen my credibility. That’s called appealing to ethos. Remember that?”

Chan rolled his eyes as the smirk that was plastered on his chiseled face vanished, “Yeah, whatever,” he groaned as he started to read the rest of my paper. 

I suppressed my laughter and looked back at my laptop screen, which displayed the work Chan had for peer review day. As expected, he came in with only an outline for his paper. Probably couldn’t get anything down because he was out with the boys, I thought as I began to scan his outline.

I hate to admit it, but as I read further through Chan’s outline, the more I began to see his vision. He was researching the shift in attitude toward mental health in the 21st century and the language behind that, and honestly, it was a great idea for his thesis. The thing about Chan is that he is intelligent. Despite his annoying attitude and lifestyle, he knows how to write a pretty damn good paper about something he’s passionate about. Maybe that’s why he also found himself in grad school for English with me. I was hoping that he’d go to another university after undergrad, but like me, he stayed for grad school. Just my luck. It didn’t help that we were one of the few students who stayed at our school for grad school with the rest of the cohort coming from other universities. Essentially, I was the only person he was familiar with so Chan always found his way to sit near or even next to me in all four classes we shared. Even during our training sessions, he found his way near me. I just couldn’t get rid of this guy, but at least I can get somewhat authentic writing advice from him.

“Hey Y/N,” said Chan, a suspicious smile growing on his face.

“What?” I said, trying to keep my eyes on my laptop.

“You forgot a comma here,” he said and began to giggle.

I swear if my eyes weren’t permanently rolled into the back of my head by now. “Ha-ha, very funny Chan. Ever take a look at Bean’s hierarchy like we did in training?”

“Yeah, that’s the joke. Or was that too advanced for someone as uptight as you?” he retorted, the smirk back on his face. 

“Uptight? I can take a joke,” I said, trying to sound confident. 

“Yes, you’re uptight. I’ve never seen you at a party before. You should come with me this weekend,” he said, trying to act suave.

“Now why would I want to go to a party with you?” I said, fully looking Chan into his eyes. 

“Everyone in this room knows that you have an ass, why not put it to good use?” he spoke lowly and smirked, not breaking the eye contact as I began to feel myself blush. 

“What is fucking wrong with you?” I said, trying to sound angry but it came out more flustered and whiny. I won’t admit it to Chan but wow, does my ass look that good?

“I’m just kidding, we all know I’ve got more ass than you,” he laughed as he went back to reading my paper. 

“You know damn well that’s a lie,” I blurted out, still staring at him rather than my laptop.

“Oh? Would you like to prove it to me?” replied Chan, almost a little too quickly. He seemed almost taken aback by how quickly he responded yet still smirked. 

“I-” Before I could respond, I was interrupted by a notification from my phone. It was a text from my friend Rosé, who swears Chan and I are soulmates because she thinks we are so similar. Thankfully Chan notices me get distracted by my phone and uses that as an excuse to drop his absurd question and continue reading my paper. I couldn’t wait to tell Rosé about what Chan just said.

Rosé: ok i know we’re both not into frat parties and stuff but Jaehyun is being dragged to that frat party on saturday by jungkook and mingyu and he wants me to come. You don’t have to but do you think you could come with me?

Oh god, she had to be referring to the party Chan mentioned earlier. I thought about it. The worst thing that could happen is Jaehyun getting caught up with his friends and losing Rosé, which I doubt. Jaehyun was truly a gentleman and he was also a part of the English program with Rosé and me. He wouldn’t do that to her. But at the same time, these frat parties were unpredictable and what kind of friend would I be to leave my friend in that kind of situation? 

Y/N: yeah i heard about that party. Don’t worry, I’ll come with. But you’re promising me that we are avoiding frat guys especially Chan

Rosé: of course! We’ll just stay with Jaehyun who would prob want to leave early anyway.  

Rosé: but

Rosé: it’ll be hard to avoid frat guys especially Chan with your ass 🤭

Rosé: and his ass honestly. You guys are both hot so…

Y/N: Rosé i swear I’m not going to the party now

Rosé: NO i was jk. But fr ur hot

Y/N: thank you 😇send me the details of the party when you get them. Also what you’re gonna be wearing!

Y/N: OMG speaking of, guess what Chan said

Rosé: omg what

Y/N: he was trying to invite me to the party actually and he said something about me having an ass yet his was still bigger and so I called him out on that statement and he basically asked me to prove to him that my ass was fatter 🤢

Rosé: HELP OMG now why would he say that 😭

Y/N: cuz he’s a typical fuck boi

I put my phone down because I suddenly remembered I had to finish up Chan’s peer review. Just as I was about to focus my attention back to my laptop, Chan’s annoying voice spoke up.

“Who were you texting?” he asked, so nosy. 

“None of your business,” I responded, still looking at my screen.

“Is it a guy?” he asked, before looking up. “I saw the way you were smiling.”

“Oh my god, it was just Rosé. Why are you so concerned?” I snapped, regaining eye contact with Chan who smirked once again. 

Chan’s POV:

My plan is working, thank god Rosé’s dragging Y/N along to that party. God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s mad, especially at me. She’s so funny, all of my friends, her friends, and even everyone in our cohort know that she finds me attractive yet chooses to hate me. It’s crazy, she’s the smartest girl I know but she’s so stupid, denying her feelings. I just pretend to hate her to keep the game going, and it’s been going on since like freshman year. I feel like if she truly hated me, she probably would’ve reported me or something. Not that I’d do anything creepy, no, I have boundaries. I just love to mess with her. And perhaps I might also love her. 

I don’t know why I ever admitted that. The boys made fun of me so much. 

“Wait, I know you love to mess with her, but you think you love her?” laughed Changbin among the boys. 

“Well, I-” I stammered, before being interrupted. 

“Bro, how? She hates your guts!” laughed Jeongin.

“Okay but-”

“I don’t think Y/N hates him. She would’ve blocked and maybe gotten his ass kicked out of here by now if she truly hated him,” said Minho, a matter of factly. 

“And even though neither of them would admit it, they seem like friends. I mean, they’ve had classes together for five years now. And I’ve seen Y/N willingly sit next to Chan all the time. They’ve even had lunch together a few times! If she hated him, she would’ve moved seats and ignored him all these years,” added Felix optimistically. 

“Oh my god, are you saying Y/N probably loves Chan?” asked Seungmin, wide-eyed. 

“YES! I’ve known it all these years. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, all that tension from denying her true feelings. This confused girl loves you!” mused Jisung. 

“Yeah, honestly, if she wasn’t in the grad program, I might not have pursued grad school. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is,” I admitted, feeling flustered in front of the guys. 

“Okay, so how are you going to tell her?” interrogated Jisung. Of course, he wants me to do something about it. 

“I really don’t know. I never really planned on it honestly,” I revealed, earning a few dramatic gasps from my friends. 

“How about at the party on Saturday?” asked Hyunjin.

“No, she hates frat parties. But I’ve also heard from Rosé that Y/N can party so I don’t know,” I answered, feeling almost hopeless. 

“Wait, Chan,” began Minho, a smirk arising on his features, “What if we make Y/N go to that party?”

“Dude, no. As much as I like messing with her, I won’t force her to go somewhere she’s uncomfortable,” I replied somewhat urgently. 

“No, not like that. You know Rosé, right? Those two are like best friends. She’s dating Jaehyun, right? He’s in the frat and I know his buddies Jungkook and Mingyu are going to drag his ass there,” explained Minho. “So how about we use Rosé to bring Y/N to the party?”

“Damn Minho, why do you have this elaborate plan?” chuckled Hyunjin.

“I still haven’t gotten back at her for that one time she went out with Jisung,” spoke Minho lowly, “If this plan doesn’t work, at least she gets to see me all up on Jisung.”

“Whoa calm down Minho, it was one date remember? Before we were a thing? I ghosted her after that!” laughed Jisung. 

God, I remember that. I was so angry when I found out Jisung’s Bumble date all those years ago was Y/N. Granted, that was freshman year, but still! I shouldn’t be jealous, but Jisung’s one of my bros even though he has clearly moved on. I’m sure Y/N has moved on, God, I hope so. 

“Anyways,” I began, “What exactly is going to happen at the party once she’s there?”

“OH! Rosé should totally abandon her! And then you can swoop in and not act like a pretentious asshole for once!” chirped Hyunjin. “And you’ll be surrounded by all the frat guys, who are going to be acting like that and maybe she’ll see that you’re different than the rest!”

The room erupted in agreement from the guys and I began to feel myself warm up to their elaborate plan. “You know what, I think you guys are onto something,” I nodded in agreement as the guys cheered. “I’m going to text Rosé, I know she’d love to set her bestie up.”

Chan: Sup Rosé

Rosé; oh god what do you want

Chan: ok I’m being fr rn. But I have feelings for Y/N

Rosé: that’s the big news? 😭come on, we all knew that. 

Rosé: I mean, everyone but Y/N she thinks she hates you but we all know that’s a lie

Chan: wait-

Chan: what do you mean???

Rosé: oh um

Rosé: Y/N is literally going to murder me but

Rosé: at our last girls party, I don’t know what she was on but she admitted that she finds you hot 😭

Wait. What. Y/N thinks I’m hot? Oh my god!

“GUYS Y/N THINKS I’M HOT!” I blurted out to the guys who all cheered in response.

“YES CHAN’S GONNA GET IT!” screamed Changbin as he smacked my back rather harshly. 

“OUCH!”

“Sorry bro, the gains, you know?”

I ended up telling Rosé the plan and surprisingly she agreed on the condition that nothing bad happens to Y/N and that she won’t stop her from leaving if she gets uncomfortable. Okay, fair. And I know Y/N. She’s super loyal to her friends so she’ll be at that party either way. God, I’m so excited but nervous. She’s going to look so hot too, I wonder what she looks like outside of her school clothes. 

Y/N’s POV

Thank god class was almost over, but why was Chan so concerned with who I was texting? I brushed him off and finished peer-reviewing his outline. Surprisingly, I left a lot of positive feedback but made sure to sneak in some snarky comments. And I corrected his grammar just to be petty. How are you in grad school but can’t differentiate between a dependent and independent clause? 

“Here, damn,” I groaned as I hit send on the email where the peer-review was attached. 

“Aw, you liked my outline!” rejoiced Chan in that annoying voice of his as he opened the attachment. 

“You should be lucky that you’re receiving my feedback. I’m the only one here that would tell you that you suck to your face,” I said as I began to pack up my laptop into my bag. 

“Well honey, from the looks of it, you found a lot more positive things about my outline than negative,” laughed Chan. 

“Whatever,” I groaned, “Have you even finished peer-reviewing my draft by the way?”

“Almost done, I’ll send it to you in a bit,” he said as he started typing once again. 

“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I left the classroom. 

What I didn’t know was that my half-hearted “thanks” caused Chan’s heart to skip a beat. 

The day of the frat party came by faster than expected. Honestly, this whole week was a whirlwind. Thanks to Chan’s surprisingly helpful feedback, I was able to finish the essay before the weekend. I usually don’t drink, but, even being around alcohol can get hungover somehow and I wasn’t going to let a stupid frat party be the demise of my grade. Plus, I had to drive back home. 

Usually, I partied with my close friends and attended quite a few parties during my college career. I wonder how it’s going to be to go to a “real” college party, especially as a grad student no less. Maybe Chan was right. Maybe I am uptight. Whatever. I know his dumbass is going to be at that party. I might as well show him what “uptight” is. 

With that, I had a fun time choosing my outfit! I’ll admit, it was kinda low-cut. Okay, it was really low-cut but it flattered my good in every way. I haven’t worn it in a while but the black blouse was flirty and fun, with the dotted fabric of the arms sheer and the cropped nature of the shirt sitting right at my waist. I’d pair it with some nice jeans that flattered me. The outfit was far from uptight. And I could tell it would be a real crowd-pleaser based on Rosé’s enthusiastic reaction.

Rosé: WAIT DAMNNN OKAY

Rosé: CAN CHAN FIGHT????

Y/N: LMAO thanks but prob not!! 

Y/N: I’d rather be all yours anyways 🙄

Rosé: awww

Rosé: I wonder if Chan’s fave color is black 🤭

Y/N: OH GOD why would you say that 😭 i hope not 🤢

Rosé: LMAO I’m kidding lol butttt he is gonna see you like that just saying

Y/N: okay and? Not my problem

Rosé: yeah sureeee anyways are you almost at my apartment so we could head on over?

Y/N: Yeah, just found a parking spot. Heading over!

Flipping my hair out of my face, I headed toward Rosé’s apartment. Honestly, I was feeling kind of nervous going to this party. What if something bad happens? 

Outside the apartment building, I saw none other than Rosé accompanied by her boyfriend Jaehyun. Ugh, they looked perfect together, hand in hand and conversing about something they both could only hear. Until I interrupted.

“Rosé!” I yelled, quickening my pace.

“Y/N! You’re here!” she exclaimed, letting go of Jaehyun’s hand as we hugged each other and flooded one another with compliments of how we looked. 

“Damn Rosé, that ass of yours in those jeans?” I swooned, fanning myself. 

“Ahem.”

“Oh! Hey Jaehyun!” I exclaimed, caught off guard by Rosé’s quiet boyfriend.

“Hey Y/N!” he laughed as Rosé joined him, presumably at my flustered state.

“Listen! I wasn’t trying to take Rosé away from you! I would never!” I tried to explain, “Even though she was my friend first,” I mumbled that last part under my breath.

“It’s all good! Should we head over now?” asked Rosé as we began to walk toward the frat houses. 

The walk over to the frat house was longer than we thought it would be, but thankfully we all wore sneakers. The chill of the fall air blew as Jaehyun draped his sweater over Rosé’s shoulders. God, they were so cute. I can’t believe someone like Jaehyun was technically a frat dude. Come to think of it, Rosé was also in a sorority. I’m sure they knew their way around these parties. 

We opened the door just to be met with some frat bro who I quickly recognized as one of Chan’s friends. 

“Sup Jaehyun, I see you’re in ratio” he smirked as he let us in.

“Thanks, Hyunjin” laughed Jaehyun as he fist-bumped his brother as Rosé and I followed him inside. 

“Ratio?” I asked, perplexed. 

“Oh some frats have this thing where a guy should bring two girls with him to be let into a party,” Rosé explained as I quickly understood despite an even more confused expression gracing my features. I chose not to dwell on it as I took in my surroundings. Of course, red solo cups are in the hands of every attendee. Some of Chan’s friends were setting up some music. Sports were playing on the flatscreen TV. So far, so good.

“Hey, Jaehyun!” yelled Jungkook, who seemingly popped out of nowhere.

“Jaehyun!” yelled Mingyu, following behind the older one. God, Kim Mingyu and Jeon Jungkook. I’ve always thought they were so hot; I couldn’t help but feel a little shy as I scooted closer to Rosé.

Jaehyun greeted his friends as they all clapped hands, hugged each other, and made small talk. I felt kind of awkward just watching them honestly, so I turned to Rosé.

“I’m not drinking tonight, but did you wanna get a drink?” I asked.

“Sure, why not? Oh my god you know what I just realized?” she said, eyes brightening.

“What?” I asked, ever amused by her.

“You might actually see me drunk in person instead of over text!” she laughed.

“Wait, oh my gosh that’s so true!” I exclaimed with excitement as she grabbed a drink, making our way back to Jaehyun and his handsome friends. 

“Oh there you are,” said Jaehyun as he turned around, his eyes lighting up when he saw his girlfriend. 

Before any of us could respond, the house suddenly boomed with music and a certain boisterous voice made himself apparent.

“HELLO ABΩ! IT’S YOUR BOY BANG CHAN HERE!” 

Oh no. I expected him to be here but outside of school, he’s going to be ten times more annoying. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I sipped on some water. 

“The party is just getting started, my boy Jeongin made this fire playlist. Let loose, enjoy yourself, and remember, tag me and follow me on Instagram @gnabnahc!” he smiled into the microphone. All the frat guys began to cheer, encouraging him. I exhaled, just staring at how ridiculous Chan looked, with his white tee shirt, fitted so perfectly against his sculpted muscles. And his black jeans, emphasizing that dumptruck of his. Of course, he was wearing a cap too.   “Let’s have a great night! And-” Suddenly he stopped, creating an awkward silence despite the booming music. 

And then I realized. He was staring right into my eyes. I blinked a few times before looking away, feeling Rosé nudge me as she stifled a laugh. 

“I lost my train of thought!” Chan laughed, shifting the mood back to the energetic one he had created mere seconds before. “Anyways play some beer pong, dance, have fun!” And once again, all of the frat bros cheered as the party began.

I still felt flustered and annoyed, but also powerful at the same time. Did me just standing there make the cocky and confident Bang Chan flustered to the point of freezing up in front of the boys at a party no less? I smirked, though my cheeks still felt warm as I saw Changbin laughing and smacking Chan’s shoulder. 

“Y/N! Did you hear me? Or were you too busy staring back at Chan?” smirked Rosé as she waved her hand in front of my face. 

“Wait what?” I blinked as she and Jaehyun began to laugh. 

“I was saying you and Chan had a little moment right there! Locking eyes, the world disappearing around you two?” laughed Rosé.

“Very Jane Austen” added Jaehyun in agreement.

“Jane Austen would never write about a frat guy at a frat party no less,” I scoffed, crossing my arms as the couple in front of me shared knowing glances. 

Chan’s POV

I will never hear the end of this. Changbin is still smacking my shoulder with his sheer strength and keeps laughing at how I got distracted. 

“Oh my god, my abs. I’m not gonna have to train them anymore because of you!” laughed Changbin.

“Will you quit?” I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Very funny, I got distracted.”

“It’s not even that you got distracted! It’s who made you distracted! Tell me, what was it about Y/N that made you practically drool in front of everyone? Was it her hair? Maybe her eyes? Or was it her tits- OW!” 

“Not now Changbin,” I muttered after I smacked him. God, I need a beer. I left Changbin behind to find Minho handling the drinks. 

“We all saw that, dude,” said Minho somewhat apologetically as he handed me a drink. 

“Yeah, whatever,” I said, drinking from the cup rather quickly.

“So, the plan?” asked Minho expectantly. 

Right. The elaborate plan of the night. Initially, it seemed easy enough but I didn’t realize just how flustered by Y/N I would be. God, how does she get hotter every time I see her? 

“I was gonna wait a little later into the night to tell Rosé to abandon Y/N,” I explained to Minho who nodded. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and break the ice with Y/N? I think you acknowledging her early on will show her you have some decency,” suggested Minho. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied as I glanced over at Y/N across the crowd before making my way toward her. 

Y/N’s POV:

Rosé was too busy talking to Jaehyun as I took in my surroundings once again. The party was beginning to get lively with more people dancing, especially Hyunjin, who was already surrounded by several guys and girls alike. Dancing would be fun honestly, but it would be awkward going up there and not knowing anyone. Just as I took my eyes off the dance floor, I met the gaze of none other than Chan. 

“Oh god, what do you want,” I muttered unenthusiastically as he walked toward me. 

“So, you made it? I knew you weren’t as uptight as you let on,” smirked Chan as he leaned against the wall, drink in hand.

“Don’t you have a paper to write?” I asked, trying not to take in how attractive he looked at that moment. Maybe all that alcohol around me was starting to intoxicate me somehow. He never looks good.

“Well someone provided me with some extra good feedback on my outline the other day,” he began, smiling, “Let’s just say that was an easy paper to write.”

I scoffed, “No way you wrote twenty-five pages in two days, weekdays no less.”

“Oh, but I did. I know you think I’m just a typical frat bro but I do care about the mental health movement,” he said, cocking an eyebrow up as his gaze bore into my soul. 

“Whatever,” I said, breaking eye contact and feeling a bit flustered. 

“Anyways,” began Chan, “It’s nice seeing you here. Nice to see you outside of class, I mean,” he stumbled as his eyes scanned my outfit. 

It was my turn to make him flustered. “Are you talking about me, or my tits?” I smirked, standing up straighter as he shuffled. 

“Well, I-” he began, before regaining his composure, “I expected to see your ass, not your tits today.”

“CHAN!” I yelled as he laughed, “Well, at least mine are bigger than yours!”

“That I can agree with,” Chan laughed, causing me to chuckle and playfully smack his arm. 

“We can finally agree on something,” I admitted as I playfully rolled my eyes and he nodded in response. 

“I’d say we’re finally on the same level of debate,” Chan winked as he referenced our TA curriculum. 

“Yeah, I would say that we passed conjecture so we’re definitely on definition right now,” I said as I dramatically furrowed my brows, pretending to be a teacher. 

“God, I’m so glad we’re actually applying what we’ve learned to the real world!” Chan exclaimed, dramatically opening his arms and gesturing to the “real world” that was the frat party before him. I hate to admit it, but Chan was actually funny. He knew how to appeal to my sense of humor. As hard as grad school is, these little jokes make me feel like I’m not alone. As we were laughing, I could just feel the stares of several people burning through the bubble Chan and I created. He could feel it too. In the corner of my eye, I could see Rosé giggling at us. Oh god, she probably took some pictures too. I also felt the knowing stares of Chan’s friends, even Hyunjin who was surrounded by guys and girls had his gaze fixated on Chan and me. Also, did I see Jisung, that one guy I had that awkward date with freshman year, stop making out with Chan’s other friend Minho just for them to look in our direction? What was going on?

Chan’s POV

I’m glad Y/N is warming up to me, she’s honestly not uptight at all! As awkward as my first glance, well, stare, at her today was, I’m so glad she didn’t bring that up. Speaking of staring, what is wrong with me? She saw me staring at her tits god I want to die. I mean, she didn’t murder me! That’s a good sign, right? As fun and lighthearted as our conversation was, how come the guys and Rosé had to be so fucking obvious? I thought this plan was supposed to be low-key, not “everyone-stare-at-Chan-to-see-if-he-finally-asks-Y/N-out.” I think Y/N is catching on, I mean, I practically feel everyone’s staring at us. I need to find a distraction, quickly. 

“Ahem” I cleared my throat, “Do you want another drink?” 

“Oh, um, yeah sure,” she replied as I snapped her out of her thoughts as we made our way to the drink table. 

I don’t know why I was reacting so quickly but as Y/N reached for a water bottle, something in me told me to grab it for her. It wasn’t until our hands met on the same water bottle that I snapped out of my actions.

“Oh-”

“Sorry!”

“Here, I’ll grab it for you,” I said, handing her the water bottle.

“Thanks,” she replied, looking down. Oh god, am I screwing this up? Did I make it awkward? From the corner of my eye, Felix gave me an apologetic smile as I wearily shook my head. I had to fix this. 

“So, you’re not drinking tonight?” I asked, breaking the ice. 

“Nope. I’ve gotta drive home but being drunk would be fun,” chuckled Y/N before taking a sip. “Yeah? How’s ‘drunk’ Y/N?” I asked using air quotations.

“I don’t remember,” laughed Y/N, “The videos I’ve seen of me in that state are hilarious though. I get cocky, witty, and flirty, so kind of like you on a regular basis. So yeah, I turn into a fuck boy.”

“That does sound like me,” I chuckled as we sat down on the couch. “We’re pretty similar, don’t you think?”

Y/N grimaced. “Rosé thinks so.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, and it’s so far from the truth!” she exclaimed dramatically, “Rosé, come here!” she yelled over the couch for her friend. Ugh. Just when I thought I could get her alone without Rosé having to completely abandon her friend. 

“Yes?” asked Rosé, another drink in hand.

“Come on, sit down and tell Chan about your delusions. About how you think we’re the same person,” said Y/N who scooted away from me, gesturing for Rosé to sit between her and me. I swear if Rosé cockblocks me…

Fortunately for me, Rosé takes a seat on Y/N’s other side. “You two are so similar oh my god, Chan you don’t even know the full extent,” giggled Rosé as she leaned into Y/N. Ugh. That should be me. 

“Yeah? How are we so similar?” I said glancing between the two women expectedly. 

“You both are studying English!,” laughed Rosé.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t know that!” scoffed Y/N sarcastically as I chuckled.

“Oh, oh! Your zodiac signs are compatible!” Rosé smirked as she raised her eyebrows. 

“Oh yeah, you’re a Libra right? October 3rd?” asked Y/N expectantly and I nodded. She knows my birthday?! I don’t know why my heart began to race at this fact. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every zodiac sign is compatible with Libra lol!)

“Oh- and don’t forget, your MBTIs are super compatible too!” exclaimed Rosé.

“I’m an ENFJ, what are you?” I asked as Y/N looked away and replied (your MBTI). Oh my gosh, ENFJ and (your MBTI) are like, supposed to be soulmates. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every MBTI is compatible with ENFJ lol)

“Oh- and also! Remember the blood drive for the frats and sororities? You’re type O Chan!” chimed Rosé.

“How did you remember that?” I chuckled looking between the clearly intoxicated Rosé and Y/N. 

“I’ll let Y/N explain that one!” exclaimed Rosé as she darted her eyes between Y/N and I. 

“Ugh, unfortunately, that means your blood type can be accepted by any other blood type, Chan. So your blood would be accepted by mine,” gagged Y/N, “I’d rather die at that point,” she deadpanned, causing both Rosé and I to laugh. 

“Really? You’d rather die than receive my thick, juicy, red blood from these veins?” I asked, making a fist so the veins on my arms would appear. Y/N bit her lip and exhaled as Rosé laughed even harder. 

“Yeah Y/N, I thought you had an arm kink?” blurted out Rosé, who was probably drunk by now.

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N, getting more flustered and looking away from me. I only laughed harder and felt my ego rise exponentially. She’s an arm girl? Noted. I’ll have to wear tank tops more often. 

“Like what you see?” I whispered to Y/N, flexing my biceps. She didn’t respond, but I saw the way her eyes lingered. 

“Yeah Y/N! You should feel his muscles” laughed Rosé as she grabbed Y/N’s hand suddenly and placed it on top of my bicep

“Rosé!” yelled Y/N as her hand retracted quickly from my bicep. God, if only she knew how flustered I was feeling right now. Before I knew it, I blurted out “I don’t bite. Go for it.” 

“Oh, um. Okay,” replied Y/N as she leaned over and felt my muscles. I tried not to act flustered as she leaned toward me, that blouse of her’s making it hard to focus on her hand on my arm. I swear her skin on mine was something I had been craving for years. “Neat,” she said, retracting her arm but I could see the redness gathering on her cheeks. 

“Whoa, save some room for Jesus!” blurted out a boy with long, dark brown hair. Behind him was a taller boy who looked somewhat flustered.

“Beomgyu? Soobin? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up instantly at the sight of them. I could feel my blood begin to boil but I had to maintain my composure. I can’t let something like jealousy ruin the plan. 

“You guys aren’t even in this frat!” laughed Rosé, causing the two guys to chuckle. 

“Yeah and? We’re here for a good time, right Soob?” laughed Beomgyu as he smacked Soobin in the chest.

“Oh- Uh, yeah! How are you, Y/N?” asked Soobin shyly. Why was he asking about her specifically? I kept my mouth shut as I glanced at Y/N, who looked somewhat flustered herself. 

“I didn’t think I’d be here but this one dragged me here,” explained Y/N as she glanced over at Rosé. 

“Okay and? You’re having a good time?” stated Rosé like it was the most obvious thing. 

Everyone chuckled but me, but I tried to play it cool and forced myself to smile at their small talk. Ugh, I just wish these cockblockers would go away!

“Oh my god, they’re playing Rodeo! Soobin, you like that song don’t you?” boomed Beomgyu as he gestured toward Soobin. “Let’s get up there!” he exclaimed as he gestured toward Y/N and pulled her from the couch.

“Wait this song is so funny!” laughed Y/N as she enthusiastically made her way to the dance floor with Soobin and Beomgyu. 

And just like that, my jaw was on the floor. How did these two random guys, who aren’t even in my frat by the way, just snatch Y/N away from me like that? 

“Ouch,” muttered Rosé as I stared at the dance floor in disbelief. 

“Bro did that just actually happen?” I heard Seungmin say as he took Y/N’s vacant spot.

“Man, I’m sorry,” I heard Felix’s deep voice behind the couch as he leaned over to pat my shoulder comfortingly. 

“How- She just- I just-” I stammered, still in disbelief at what just happened. 

“So um, Beomgyu and Soobin know Y/N from biology class during undergrad,” explained Rosé, trying to help me make sense of this. “Soobin was her lab partner.” Honestly, that didn’t really help as I just sighed in response. To be honest, I knew getting Y/N wasn’t going to be this easy. If I have competition, so be it. 

“Give me a minute,” I muttered as I stood up to get another drink. I felt their apologetic stares burn into my back as I made my way to the drinks. I glanced at the dance floor, and of course, Y/N was having the time of her life. God, she looked so hot dancing. Putting that ass to good use like I had said earlier. Just as I was about to look away, an unsightly scene unfolded before me on the dance floor. Why were Soobin and Y/N practically grinding on one another like that? My blood was already boiling, but now it was evaporated by how angry and jealous I felt. I know my face showed that as I made eye contact with Y/N as she smirked. 

Y/N’s POV

Ah Soobin, my old lab partner. My old crush. It didn’t end up working out between us back in undergrad, Soobin claiming that while he did like me, he just couldn’t devote enough time to a relationship. He was a part of many biology related clubs and even president of one. He also had a job on top of all that. Honestly, that was understandable and I quickly moved past those feelings. However, for Soobin I could definitely tell those feelings never went away. Maybe it’s a good thing Soobin studied biology; he couldn’t analyze situations like I could. Let’s face it, Chan was being extra good and not annoying today. That’s really suspicious, and frankly, I don’t know how to react to his good behavior. Admittedly, yes, I was flustered by our interactions throughout today. But he’s just a fuck boy frat bro. He’s always going to be flirting around, probably in hopes of getting laid. I don’t want to be just another one of those girls he fucks for the sake of it. I thought he knew that by now that I’m not into hookup culture. When Beomgyu and Soobin appeared, it was a perfect opportunity to test out my hypothesis: if Bang Chan wasn’t attracted to me like that, then he’d have no problem seeing me dance with another guy. I also just wanted to dance really badly. 

Also, “Rodeo” by Lah Pat and Flo Milli? The song used in every fuck boy thirst trap and slutty TikTok edits? How could I pass the opportunity to not make Chan jealous with such an explicit song about fucking?

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang, eyeing Soobin while swaying my hips as some girls hyped me up on the dance floor. 

“Go Y/N!” cheered Beomgyu as he pulled out some smooth moves. 

It seemed like Soobin was getting out of his shell as he suddenly busted out some killer dance moves, slowly closing the distance between us. “Like a rodeo babe!” he winked. I forgot how fun it was to dance, especially with such a supportive crowd. I wonder if someone was watching. I could practically feel Soobin’s warmth behind me as we danced when I locked eyes with Chan who was heading toward the drinks. I could tell he was fuming as his gaze bore into mine. 

“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang again, trying to be as seductive as possible in the way I moved, never breaking eye contact with Chan. I don’t know where this surge of confidence came from, but god I felt powerful. Maybe this is how Chan usually feels.

Chan blinked back, seemingly flustered and even angry as he looked away and got another drink. He walked out of the front door dejectedly. I laughed as Beomgyu shot me a confused glance but I just waved him off as he continued dancing. As I was dancing with Soobin though, I began to feel guilty. Why the hell did I feel bad for Chan? He didn’t own me, in fact, he always went out of his way to make me angry and annoyed. Okay, he never went this far but still. And I practically just used Soobin to make Chan jealous knowing that Soobin still probably had feelings for me. I’ve always chided Chan for being a fuck boy, but here I was playing with his feelings and even bringing another guy into this mess by using him. Maybe I’m the fuck boy. 

The next song began to play, and I knew I needed to make things right before they got worse. 

“Hey, Soobin?” I asked over the blaring music as I gestured for him to follow me away from the dance floor.

“Yes, Y/N?” replied Soobin as he leaned down to my height so he could hear me. 

“Thank you for the dance, but sorry. I didn’t mean to get all up on you. I don’t want to lead you on, because I’ve moved on since undergrad. I should’ve considered your feelings before I did that, I’m sorry,” I rambled my apology, not really knowing what to say and hoping the damage wasn’t already done. 

“Oh,” paused Soobin as he looked down, “It’s okay, I just… I just wish I hadn’t been a coward and made excuses back then.”

“What are you talking about Soobin?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, you clearly moved on. I always see you with Chan especially since you started grad school. Even at this party, you were with him when I walked in. Beomgyu just tried to convince me to take a chance and try to get you back, but I can see I missed my chance,” smiled Soobin wistfully. “I could tell you were trying to make Chan jealous when you danced with me.”

Well, maybe I was wrong. Soobin read my plan like a book. Why wasn’t he in the English program?

“Was I that obvious,” I muttered, looking away from Soobin as he chuckled. 

“I knew it was too good to be true when you were moving like that. Like you had a point to prove,” chuckled Soobin. 

“Ugh, I’m sorry Soobin,” I apologized once again.

“It’s okay, I know you’re an asshole now,” he laughed dryly before gesturing to the door, “Now go get Chan. I’ll be okay. I’ve gotta take care of Beomgyu.”

I glanced at the dance floor and Beomgyu was clearly very drunk and happily dancing. Soobin gave me a reassuring smile.

“Thanks Soob. Take care,” I smiled back before making my way out of the frat house through the door Chan left from. 

Chan’s POV:

I shivered as the cool autumn breeze hit me, the hand holding my drink becoming disproportionately colder than the rest of my body as a result of the sudden temperature change. God, why did Y/N dancing with another guy bother me so much? Everything was going perfectly until Soobin showed up. I know she’s not technically mine but why does the thought of her being with someone who isn’t me hurt so much? I get so angry when things don’t go my way. What should I do!? I blinked back a few tears as I paced along the sidewalk near the building. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and saw the concerned texts from some of the guys in our group chat. 

Felix: hey Chan, are you okay? I’m here if you need anything

Jeongin: what happened to Chan?

Hyunjin: his genius plan isn’t working *insert video of Y/N and Soobin on the dance floor*

Minho: oh my god that bitch

Jisung: okay maybe I was right to ghost her!

Seungmin: yeahhh it was pitiful 

Changbin: damn I’m sorry bro

I sighed, not bothering to reply. I just needed some space to process the fact that Y/N is probably going to leave the party with another guy. Someone who isn’t me. Maybe I shouldn’t have messed with her as much as I did. I’m sure it must have gotten old pretty quickly. I should’ve just been honest with her from the beginning. But no, I just had to maintain my frat boy image. I don’t know why, or how, I could be this stupid. I just fucked up my chances of being with the prettiest, funniest, and smartest girl I know. Just as I reached to wipe my tears, I heard a familiar voice. 

“Chan!”

I turned around and was faced with none other than Y/N. Concern and regret painted her features as she gazed into my teary eyes. 

“Chan,” she spoke softly, inching closer to me. “I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have left you like that just to make you jealous on purpose. I’m really sorry.”

I quickly blinked back any tears that remained and wiped the rest off my face. “Y/N, you came to find me?”

Y/N blinked a few times before replying, “Of course. I wanted to mess with you but I could tell that you were hurt. I couldn’t just leave you alone.”

I swallowed before speaking, gently taking ahold of her hand. “Y/N, I need to come clean. I like, no, I love you. I have loved you for a long time. Since like, freshman year. I only pretended to hate you just to mess with you. I don’t know why, I’m so stupid, I just, I thought that was just how a frat guy should act. Clearly not, I just annoyed you and I don’t blame you if you don’t return my feelings. I’ve been an asshole to you for a long time, and I’m sorry,” I rambled, feeling her grip on my hand tighten as I felt myself begin to shake. 

“Chan…” muttered Y/N as she looked into my eyes. God, I’m so embarrassed. 

Y/N’s POV:

I just felt so guilty, and I’m glad I apologized. It’s the least I could do. I know Chan loves to mess with me but he has never gone out of his way to hurt me like I just did to him. However, he really did just drop a bomb out of nowhere. Chan loves me? 

“Chan,” I said, squeezing his hand once again to get him to look at me. It works. “I honestly didn’t realize you felt that way. Wow,”

“Listen, I don’t want to pressure you at all to say yes. I just think you deserve to know how I truly feel,” admitted Chan. 

“No, it’s not that. I just think that you helped me describe what I’ve been feeling,” I admitted. “I always thought I hated you, but I’ve always been drawn to you. It’s not the same if you’re away. And I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t go away for grad school because you’re such a constant in my life. Like, I couldn’t imagine not going to school with you.”

Chan began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked, bracing myself for Chan to probably admit this was a whole prank or something.

“It’s just, I only chose to go to grad school in the first place because you were doing it. And you just so happened to be staying here so I followed you,” laughed Chan, squeezing my hand gingerly. 

My eyes widened, “Well this is news to me!”

“When I told the guys this, they insisted I asked you out. So we made this whole elaborate plan to get you to this party but the plan didn’t really go as planned,” confessed Chan.

“Oh Chan,” I laughed, “Did you guys think you could really fool me?”

“Yeah. So did Rosé,” smirked Chan.

“She what?” I asked, shocked that Rosé was plotting with Chan.

“She’s gonna kill me for telling you but yes, I asked her to bring you here.”

“Oh my god, that’s why her text about the party conveniently came during peer review!” everything began to click as Chan smiled. “I mean, that explains everyone staring at us this whole night.”

“There’s the smart Y/N I know,” laughed Chan, staring at me with adoration which made me flustered. 

“I should’ve known,” I laughed dryly, “But Chan, seriously, I did have a great time with you tonight. And I don’t want that to end so, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend I guess.”

“You what!?” Chan’s jaw dropped as his eyes brightened.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I rolled my eyes as I pulled him into a kiss. His plush lips I used to despise returned the kiss as he fought back a smile, putting his hands on my waist to draw me closer. We pulled back from one another because we couldn’t stop smiling. 

“God, Y/N. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” mused Chan as a genuine smile graced his features as he put an arm around my waist. 

“Yeah it took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes playfully and leaned into his embrace. “Now do you wanna go back inside to party?”

“I’m happy wherever you are, Y/N.”

Chan’s POV

YESSSS I DID IT!!! Y/N IS MINE NOW! Oh my god, oh my god. All it took was for me to word-vomit everything I had felt about her with a pinch of jealousy to make her my girlfriend. I don’t even remember the initial plan because this outcome is so much better. I smiled at the girl in my arms, the one I spent years annoying because I couldn’t communicate my feelings. This is what bliss is. 

Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate like crazy once again. 

“Hold on, I think the guys are texting me,” I tell Y/N as I bring out my phone. I gasp as my eyes widen.

Felix: So uh, I went outside to find Chan and this is what I saw 😳 *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Hyunjin: omg how the turns have tabled

Jisung: WHAT!! The switch up is crazyyyyy

Jeongin: oh god my eyesssss (nice job Chan)

Seungmin: phew Chan is okay lol

A message was deleted by Minho

Minho: Aw finally! (I didn’t call Y/N a bitch earlier nooo)

Changbin: CHAN’S GETTING IT AYYY

“What’s wrong Chan?” asked Y/N as she fished out her phone which was also buzzing with notifications. 

“Just check your phone,” I muttered in disbelief, but I couldn’t help but hold back a smile. 

Y/N’s POV

I took Chan’s advice and checked my phone. Maybe something had happened at the party while we were gone? Instead, I found like a hundred notifications from Rosé.

Rosé: AHFEWFEJ WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Rosé: I know you liked Soobin at one point but like

Rosé: omg Chan is actually sad

Rosé: check your phoneee even Jaehyun agrees

Rosé: wait omg

Rosé: *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*

Rosé: care to explain? 🤭

“Oh my god Rosé!” I yelled.

Chan POV:

“Actually it was Felix who took that pic,” I laughed at her flustered state. Honestly, I love that the picture exists. My first kiss with Y/N. How precious!  

“Wanna go kill them?” asked Y/N, rolling up her sleeves. God she’s so hot when she’s mad, even hotter when she’s mad at other people. 

“Gladly, but first, you never answered my question,” I began, smirking at her once again. 

“What question?” She replied, tilting her head in confusion. 

“Can you prove to me that your ass is actually bigger than mine?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow as I eyed her behind and began to laugh at her further flustered state. She paused before suddenly moving closer to me.

“After I get finished with them,” she muttered, gesturing to our friends in the frat house, “Is when I’ll get started with this.” I yelped from the sudden smack on my butt as Y/N eyed me dangerously, smirking. 

“Oh I can’t wait!”

Epilogue:

Y/N’s POV

Even though I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, I still woke up hungover the next morning in my bed. I groaned at the slew of notifications that had woken me up from my slumber. I can’t believe that I woke up as the girlfriend of Bang Chan, the frat guy who had a notorious reputation for also being a fuck boy. I blinked a few times as I opened Instagram only to find the picture of me kissing Bang Chan to be the first post I saw. 

@gnabnahc last night was crazyyy 🥶💯😳

Comments: 

@yong.lixx: photo creds? 📸 jk so happy for you man

@i.2.n.8: mommy & daddy 😳

@miniverse.__: lookin gr8 bro 

@jutdwae: Ayyyy bro is hard launching rn!

@hynjinnnn: now this is art

@minho_knows: you’re welcome

@han_jisung: yeah she’s much better with you 🤭

@roses_are_rosie: so the plan worked! 😁

@page.soobin: congrats 🥲

⎿ @bamgyuuuu: it’s ok u tried bro 😤

Ok this was my first ever attempt at writing a stray kids fic! I hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this! I know Chan would never be a fuck boy irl but as you can see it would be fun to imagine what that might look like!

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Love Playlist #2: UGH! (Bang Chan)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» 

"Shut the fuck up."

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader Genre: college au, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, forced proximity Warnings: swearing, mc has autism, misogynistic behavior (not Bang Chan), implications of ableism, bullying, short panic attack description Word Count: 11k

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that you hate Christopher Bang’s guts. Everything about him, you hate. The utter laziness that he masks as nonchalance? The “happy-go-lucky” attitude that borders on bullheaded recklessness? The way every single time you text him about something important, he never replies? You hate it all. He’s irresponsible, aimless, completely unreliable, and you hate him.

Chris believes that the whole world revolves around him, and unfortunately, he would be correct. With dimples that rival Harry Styles’s and saccharinity biologically embedded in him, his good looks and charismatic personality blind everyone to the truth. Everyone except for you, of course.

Even if all of the supreme powers in the universe held you over an eternal chasm and forced you to find compromise, you still wouldn’t be able to stop hating him. And you hate heights— almost as much as him— so that’s saying something. Your hatred for him will never, ever waver. You hate Chris Bang, period. And you hate him even more now, as he stands next to you and accepts an honor that should solely be yours.

“Congratulations, Chris and Y/N!” 

You keep clapping and plaster on a fake smile to save face, trying to ignore the rage bubbling inside of you. In your peripheral vision, you sense Christopher laughing and shooting finger guns towards people in the audience, like some kind of corrupt politician. In a way, he is one, because you should have won this election. But you didn’t.

“In all of our history, never has there been an exact voting tie between two candidates.” The sickeningly cheerful announcer bounds closer to where you are standing on the stage, gesturing towards you both. “Everyone, please give another round of applause for our new Student Co-Presidents!”

Hearing it officially made you feel nauseated. For the three years you’ve been a college student, you have worked tirelessly, day and night, so this moment could come to fruition. All of those days filled with nonsense— schmoozing to all of the seniors in the Undergraduate Student Council, attending the endless number of tedious mixers to make connections, standing in the rain trying to raise funds for the organization— were going to be worth it, because in the end, you had one goal: to be student body president. 

But your dreams were dashed to the ground when he strolled in like a supermodel. While you were toiling since you were a freshman, Chris showed up at the final student council meeting at the end of last year, expressing his intentions to run for president in the following academic semester after the summer. Chris’s charm threw off the projectile of the election, compared to how although you carry yourself very well professionally, you still are very socially uncapable. Making engaging small talk about the weather or joking about frat parties on campus are unthinkable tasks for you, while that kind of conversation is exactly Chris’s forte. 

You know that you’re lucky that you at least get part of the title, because while on paper you are more qualified than Chris, the game was never in your favor. And seeing it all happen by the cursed will of the one person you’ve despised more than anyone else, since you were a kid, makes it hurt more than anything.

“Great job, partner.” 

You’re snapped out of your disturbed musings by the aforementioned person, who beams and stretches out his hand towards you. You’re wary of the gesture, but accept it anyway, making sure to squeeze his hand extra hard. 

“Same to you, Christopher,” you retort, adding an unmistakable bite to your words.

The smile doesn’t fade off of his face as he coolly shakes his aching hand off from your death grip. “I go by Chris, you know that.”

You nearly snort, but refrain from it, because people are watching. You do not need any negative publicity right now, especially next to your co-counsel who seems to do no wrong. But that won’t stop you from being discreetly petty. “Okay, Christopher.”

You hate Chris, and he knows it. But his elated expression doesn’t budge as he merely moves away from you to spark conversation with the announcer, who looks at Chris with literal hearts in her eyes. One more thing you hate: no matter how much you try to rile him up like he does to you, he never gives you a reaction. That satisfaction solely belongs to him. 

Rolling your eyes, you shove past him as gracefully as you can, eliciting a surprised grunt out of him. As Chris rubs his side behind you, you turn to the students coming closer to congratulate you, the smile on your face very much genuine now.

“He left me on read! AGAIN. Can you believe the audacity?” 

The smoky, herbaceous scent of freshly brewed coffee and sugary fragrance of baking breakfast pastries does nothing to soothe your anger. Your unadulterated complaints ricochet off of the walls of Morningstar Coffee House, your go-to place when you need to feign study in order to hang out with your best friend, a devoted employee-in-training at the place. 

Soobin groans, dumping out the latest batch of long macchiato into the sink. “I keep messing it up.”

“Are you even listening, Soobin?” You lean against the counter that he’s behind, wiping up the small drops of milk that escaped the carton in his hasty panic to master the art of being a barista. 

“Yes, yes, I am, sorry. Please continue.” Soobin sets aside his blender and folds his hands on the granite, looking at you earnestly. 

You pick at the chipped dark purple polish on your nails. “I can work with him. I can. Because I’m a professional. But he makes it so hard when I’m trying to communicate with him.”

Soobin shrugs. “Maybe he’s just not using his phone right now.”

With a frustrated sigh, you shake your head. If only everyone could be as sweet and guileless as Soobin. He always sees the best in people, and while you’re not a pessimist, it’s hard for you to find the good in Chris’s character. 

“It’s not just the text thing, even though I really do need him to tell me if he’s finished the nominations for the ethics board. It’s like, he doesn’t give a crap about anything, especially when it comes from me.” 

Soobin nods slowly, wrinkling his nose in thought. “I know he’s difficult. But just keep rising above. Getting upset hurts you, not him.”

As always, Soobin remains the voice of reason behind your storms, your eternal complement. When you need to cry your emotions out, he welcomes you with open arms. When he’s too shy to ask for the dessert menu at restaurants, you will signal for the waiter. When you make your displeasure apparent, he induces a degree of rationality into your vexed mind. That said, fundamentally, both of you are introverts. At the end of the day, you love nothing more than to curl up on the couch and watch knitting tutorials on Youtube with Soobin. Opposites or not, you fit each other like a glove. 

“I love you, cucumber,” you say, affectionately poking fun at your best friend’s towering height. 

Soobin’s cheeks turn light pink, and he swats your hands away. “You’re weird.”

You tip your head back and laugh, while Soobin grins and resumes his duties in trying to figure out how to work the cash register. You can feel the worries already lifting in your chest, because who cares about Chris, anyway? Certainly not you. 

But as if you had spoken of the devil, you hear the jingle of the shopkeeper’s doorbell, followed by that familiar boisterous guffaw. The sound makes you whirl around, the tension soaring back into your shoulders. And there he is, sauntering into the café with his trusty entourage trailing. 

Your narrowed eyes meet Chris’s, and he pauses in the middle of whatever obnoxious joke he must have been sharing. For a brief moment, a telepathic duel sparks between you both, a challenge to see which one of you will be the first to crack. You win, when he breaks eye contact to go and find a seat with his friends in the lounge area. But once more, it doesn’t feel that way, because while he’s resumed his own activities, you’re still thinking about him. So much for rising above. Damn it. 

“Soobin, you need to scan your employee ID first or else sales won’t be attributed to you. We already went over this.”

The voice of Seungmin, the son of Morningstar’s owners and your fellow university student, halts your deliberations and thankfully pulls your thoughts away from Chris. Seungmin is inside from his break and stands there besides Soobin, scolding him for making another mistake in his practice transaction before the evening rush. 

“Right! Sorry about that.” Soobin shakes his head and exhales, grabbing a towel to wipe his sweaty hands.

“You’ll be fine. Just keep at it.” Seungmin softens, patting Soobin on the back before making his way over to where Chris is sitting. Because of course, Chris is friends with every single person in existence.

Another person enters the building, prompting the telltale ring to go off. Soobin’s perpetual flush morphs into a crimson, and you immediately turn to see which newcomer has got your best friend so hot and bothered. You’re met by the sight of a very pretty girl who you recognize, but whose name escapes you. However, you know the boy she has walked into the coffee house with— her best friend, Han Jisung, who is unsurprisingly another member of Chris’s glorified posse. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” You raise your eyebrow at Soobin, who is still watching the girl with a lovelorn look in his eyes.

“What?”

“You can’t like her. She and Jisung have a thing.”

“They’re just friends,” Soobin says, frowning, but you can see the contradicting doubt written across his face. “Maybe I’ll talk to Seungmin and see what’s up.”

You take his hand and resign, because other times, both of you have to learn your lessons on your own. “You’ll make someone’s heart beat as fast as they do your own. Whether it’s her or not.”

Soobin swallows, fully directing his attention back to you. “The same to you as well. ”

You let out a playful snort, thinking of your one short-lived romance from freshman year. You haven’t dated since, deciding to set relationships aside so you can focus better on your studies. You cannot take the chance of losing precious time, time that can only be allotted to your favorite person, work, and nothing else. Besides, you’ve never been very good at flirting— let alone finding friends— anyway. 

“But I think Chris raises your pulse rate enough, so maybe you’ve got your plate full for now.”

“Don’t start,” you warn, the annoyance picking up again. Soobin sends you a cheeky smile, before he attends to his peckish customers. 

You take the opportunity to make your way back to your table in the front of the cafe, your favorite little spot that overlooks the lush campus lawn, and then past the historic buildings of your university, the faint city skyline. The trees have begun happily shedding their leaves like multicolored tears that dot the outdoor expanse, embracing Autumn like a long-lost lover. Today is gorgeous, a day that should feel like a blessing, and yet, you feel blue.

The reason for your melancholy approaches your carefully curated bubble and pops it, sitting down at the table, uninvited. 

“Hey, I didn’t see you at the election after-party the other day.”

Chris’s voice is calm, so you merely clench your jaw and keep from saying anything too unintelligible. “Hey, you read my text and didn’t reply today.”

He doesn’t let the sheepishness cross his features, but has the decency for it to manifest in a light red at the tips of his ears. “I was going to, sorry. I’ve been busy.”

You just can’t help the venom that laces your next words. “You always are.”

Chris shakes his head, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t get why you always have a problem with me.”

You allow yourself a sharp intake of breath before divulging your current frustrations with him. “I really, really need you to answer me when I ask you something. We represent all of the students in our college. We can’t afford to mess this up.”

Chris rolls his eyes at your words, which makes you even more irritated. “I know.”

“Great. Then we have nothing else to discuss.” You slip your laptop back into your carrier and zip up your backpack, grabbing your phone and pushing your chair in. You don’t spare Chris a glance as you walk towards the door. 

“Why can’t we just be friends like before?”

You tense at Chris calling out, but don’t look back to face him. “You should know the answer to that.”

“I really don’t.”

With a scoff, you leave him hanging, pushing open the door and finding somewhere you can actually study without distraction.

It’s only the second day of fourth grade and you already feel so out of place. You moved here  over a month and a half ago, in the middle of summer, so you had a lot of time to get used to the town and explore your new home. You enjoyed biking around the neighborhood cul-de-sac all day and discovered a clearing in the woods behind your house, immediately claiming it as your personal hideout. After your parents hosted some of your neighbors’ families for dinner, you even established friendly relations with Soobin, the impossibly shy son of the couple next door. 

But your expeditions in school haven’t been as successful. As soon as you stepped into the classroom, it seemed like everyone already had their own friend groups, less than willing to take on a newbie like you. Because all of the seemingly “cool” kids have claimed all of the seats in the back, you sit up front, the desk next to you empty. And although Soobin also attends the same school, he’s in a different homeroom than you, so your in-school interactions are limited to hallway waves and nothing else. To top it all off, your teacher is already talking about long division. What in the world is that?

“Would you like a pudding?”

You turn around to pinpoint the hushed voice that has interrupted the independent classwork time that your teacher allotted. The owner sits right behind you, this kid with dimples and mischievous eyes. You can’t recall his name from when your teacher took attendance in the morning, but you remember him singing a little rhyme to his friends during lunch yesterday. It was cheesy.

The boy holds out a small cup of what looks like Jell-O snack pudding towards you. You accept it, slightly confused at the random gesture. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He folds his hands on his desk, math practice discarded to the side. “You looked hungry.”

He’s watching you intently, waiting for you to eat the pudding. With a sigh, you open and try it, because you are kind of hungry. As soon as your lips gingerly close around the tiny spoon, you grin, because it’s chocolate— your favorite.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Chris,” he replies, obviously delighted by your reaction to the pudding. “Are you new?”

You smile, relieved to finally see a friendly face in your class. “Yeah, I am. Thanks for the pudding.”

“I don’t go anywhere without my trusty pudding cups.”

You don’t say anything, just quietly observing him while savoring the pudding. Chris is a little weird, and maybe too friendly. You're usually careful about this kind of socialization, but he doesn’t seem like a bad person. Chris takes your silence as an opportunity to keep chattering away.

“I notice you sit alone at lunch. You should eat with my friends and me today!” Chris exclaims, earning him a look from your teacher, but he doesn’t notice.

You pretend to contemplate his offer, although you’re secretly elated at the invitation. “Maybe if there’s more pudding.”

“Deal.”

“It looks like the faculty advising problem is sorted. Anything else?” 

The Dean of the college closes his laptop and pushes the pair of glasses perched on his nose for the hundredth time in the past hour. The lenses are huge, magnifying his eyes and making them look bugged-out, adding a comical element to his otherwise stony face.

“I was thinking—” You start, taking out your notepad, but the Dean cuts you off, looking at Chris.

“Chris, did you have anything you wanted to say?” 

Your cheeks as you avert your gaze shamefully, and all of the other students in the conference room awkwardly stare down at the table. The Dean doesn’t seem to notice your discomfort, however, just intently staring at Chris. For the entire board meeting, you actively participated and made your voice heard, while taking into account others’ concerns and viewpoints. 

Meanwhile, Chris had done nothing but squint at the papers in front of him and pretend he knew what was happening. But you’ve always been underestimated just because you’re a woman, and the fact that you’re the only female student body president in the entire history of your university doesn’t help. Of course the Dean would value Chris’s thoughts more. Anyone would. 

“Actually, Y/N was saying something. We should let her finish,” Chris replies firmly, shocking you. You thought Chris would just take the opportunity to shine for himself, not hand it to you.

The Dean looks taken aback as well, but he nods slowly. “Very well then.” 

Everyone’s attention snaps to you, but you quickly recover and recollect yourself, turning on the professionalism you reserved for moments like this. “Yes. Thank you.”

You open your computer and quickly login, plugging it into the projector so everyone can view your screen. You had already pulled up your presentation and graphics, ready to present your idea. 

“What is all of this, Miss Y/L/N?”

You take a deep breath. “A prevailing issue that has come to the board’s attention is the food insecurity on campus. To solve this issue, I propose the University Food Pantry, to relieve hunger through the acquisition and distribution of food to those students who most need it. We need to lead our campus community in the fight against hunger.”

The rest of your audience looks intrigued, but the Dean doesn’t seem convinced. “And how does this concern me? I oversee educational affairs at the college, not what’s cooking for dinner.”

“Our university is, above everything else, a community. The difficulty of higher education is further compounded when hunger is a constant presence.” You try your best to keep your suave composure, ignoring the smug condescension in the Dean’s voice. “As a result, the Food Pantry will envision a campus in which every student, regardless of their socioeconomic status, has sufficient access to nutritious food. No one should have to make financial and dietary decisions in pursuit of a good education.”

“It all sounds expensive. Where would you even get the money from?”

You know that the Dean expects you to be thrown off by his question, but you’re ready. You switch through the slides of your presentation, showcasing the several charts and graphs you stayed up all night drawing. “The Dean’s Assistance Fund, through which the Pantry can provide flex allowances to undergrad recipients of Financial Aid.”

The Dean leans back in his chair, brooding silently while you wait for his answer with bated breath. But Chris speaks up instead.

“This is really good, Y/N,” Chris says, astonishing you even further. “The fund could finance other initiatives in collaboration with the pantry as well, like the university Meal Share app that my friend Jisung coded. He’s in the computer science department.”

“Thanks,” you say warily, still in disbelief that you have both his support and enthusiasm. The other students murmur in agreement, but it doesn’t feel real, getting along with Chris. 

Immediately, the Dean sits up, directing his gaze to match Chris’s. “A wonderful idea, Chris. We must talk further about this. Perhaps—”

It’s Chris’s turn to cut the Dean off. “It wasn’t my idea, it was Y/N’s, if you were listening to her at all, sir.”

The Dean looks embarrassed after being put into his place by the very student he was chatting up to, but you don’t give him time to say anything else, taking the chance to continue speaking. 

“Of course, we can’t be fully financed by the Dean’s fund, so I think the university board should put forth a collective effort to apply for the Park Grant, an international system that funds programs that address student reform.”

“You’ve put so much thought into this, Y/N,” Mina, one of the board members, says with a smile. 

You light up, forgetting the Dean’s less-than-enthused demeanor. “Thank you so much!”

The Dean sighs, staring up at the ceiling, but shrugs, inclining his head in reluctant approval. “The Park Grant deadline is in two days. You’ll have to write up the proposal and present it to the panel.”

You nod vigorously, already mentally adding it to your calendar. “Thank you sir, I know. I won’t disappoint you.”

The Dean points his pretentiously expensive fountain pen at Chris, directing your gaze to his. “But you’ll be presenting with Chris. You’ll oversee this endeavor together.”

Your soaring heart crashes, and you sit up in indignation, because of course there’s a catch. After undermining all of your efforts, the Dean would never trust you to do something like this on your own. And out of everyone, it has to be with Chris.

“Sir, I truly believe I can finish this on my own.” You can barely contain the anger quaking in your throat, but you give it one last attempt.

Chris glances at you and dips his head in accord. “I agree, sir. Y/N is perfectly capable. This is her project, after all.”

“Let’s not go near what our capabilities are. I am very well aware of what your abilities are.” The Dean’s words jab you in the chest one by one, making you wonder if he could go any lower. “You both are co-presidents. Do it together or don’t do it all.”

“Sir—”

“Please give me a chance—”

Both you and Chris are cut off by the Dean’s cold sneer. “That will be all.”

With the wave of his gnarled hands, the meeting is over, and the rest of the students exit as fast as they can to escape the tension, while you just sit there, staring at your black computer screen blankly. A moment later, you collect yourself, grab your belongings, cramming them into your arms, and run out of the room, trying not to cry all of your frustrations out, right then and there.

“Y/N, stop!” Chris calls out from behind you, and you groan inwardly. And of course he has to be there. You can’t even fall apart in peace.

“What do you want, Chris?” You sigh exasperatedly, turning to face him, even though all you really want to do is give him the finger and run back to your room.

The tension is palpable, and you see Chris’s concern. You don’t want it, though. You don’t want his concern, his sympathy, or his friendship. You just want to never see him again, but unfortunately, the universe will not let that happen. You should have accepted that when it put you through elementary, middle, and high school, and even college with him. 

“I’m sorry. I- I tried,” he says, running his fingers through his hair, combing through it before the soft, blond locks flop back into place on his forehead. He looks more beautiful than ever, the sorrow in his deep brown eyes and painted into the pout on his perfect lips. But God, you hate him.

You swallow, taking a step forward. Chris’s eyes widen in surprise, but he stays still as you proceed in an eerily calm voice. “Outside of work, don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think about me. I hate you, Chris, and I wish you never existed.”

For the first time, Chris is speechless, but you walk away, feeling anything but triumphant. You don’t want to see the hurt splayed across his face. And you don’t want Chris to see your own pain, the ugly root that digs deep into your heart and surges through your fingertips, the pain that has been there since the moment he took something from you. You hate Chris, and that will never, ever change.

“Come on, Soobin, tell me,” you whine, lightly kicking your legs at Soobin’s, where they hang over the edge of the treehouse you both built with your dads a few summers ago. The June weather is hot and sticky, and on days like this, you both like to climb up here and try to catch the faintest breeze that may come your way, ice creams in your hands and stories to trade on your lips.

Soobin coughs awkwardly. “Absolutely not, Y/N.” 

Tomorrow is the last day of middle school, and you’re determined to guess Soobin’s crush. You smirk at him, elbowing him in the side. Today, you suck on a blueberry popsicle, deliberating while trying not to let the dessert drip down your arms. 

“It’s the girl in your history class, isn’t it?”

“Nope.” Soobin side eyes you curiously, biting down on his own fudge ice cream cone. “Well, maybe I’ll tell you if you tell me yours.”

You blush, your mind immediately going to Chris, the boy you’ve liked since forever. Although you’re best friends with Soobin, Chris is also one of your good friends at school. And not to mention, the cutest boy in your entire school. 

Besides Soobin, Chris is also the only other person you’ve told about your autism. You were always shy and awkward growing up, and Chris pulled you out of that shell. 

It’s also why you get so nervous before tests. Since the time you nearly dropped your computer before a science quiz in fifth grade, Chris always brings you pudding before class assessments. You were scared to tell him at first, because you have been bullied in the past about it, but he had been nothing but kind and understanding. He’s never forgotten to bring you a pudding cup, and he specifically brings chocolate-flavored ones only, because you once told him you liked them. 

“You can’t tell anyone,” you swallow the last chunk of your popsicle, crunching down on the sugary ice. 

“I promise.” Soobin sits forward eagerly, his melting ice cream cone forgotten.

“It’s Chris,” you say dreamily, a lovesick smile playing upon your lips. 

Soobin burst out laughing, elbowing you in the side teasingly. “I knew it!” 

You and Soobin start arguing about who was more obvious about their respective crushes, but the thought of Chris stays lingering in your mind and clouding your thoughts. His devilishly handsome looks but angelic personality. The way he brings you those damn chocolate puddings, unaware of how you got sick of the flavor a long time ago but keep eating them anyway, just to see the beaming smile on his face. 

“Tomorrow,” you exclaim randomly, right after Soobin finishes telling you about all of the teachers he will miss over the summer, the perfect student he is.

“What’s tomorrow?”

“I’m going to tell Chris that I like him. Tomorrow,” you declare, trying to keep your voice strong and purposeful.

Soobin just stares at you with his jaw hanging open, because while you aren’t as soft-spoken as him, neither of you are particularly forward. Especially not in regard to your romantic lives. You both are the duo that watches your lost loves from afar, not confronting them up close. You’re surprised at your uncharacteristic behavior too, because you pledged to never give a teenage boy the satisfaction of knowing the power they have over you, especially not someone popular like Chris. But then again, Chris is different. You know it.

“Are you actually serious right now?” Soobin asks, still in shock. “Like, are you joking?”

“I’m serious, Soobin. I really like him.” You toy with your stained popsicle stick. “If he doesn’t feel the same, then I can just move on.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

He reaches over and gently pats you on the back, as if to comfort your nerves. “He’d be really dumb to not like you.”

You groan and flop onto your back, looking up at the dusty ceiling of the treehouse. Both of you just stay quiet for a moment, as you observe the soft cobwebs in the corners and the sunlight pouring through the cracks in the wooden rafters. You’re really going to do this.

“I’m still hungry.”

Soobin holds out his half-finished cone, little droplets of ice cream dripping onto the wood. “You can have the rest of this.”

“Thanks, Soob.” You accept his ice cream and both of you continue to reminisce about the school year and plan out everything you probably will never do during the summer, because both of you are master procrastinators.

But one thing you can’t put off is your revelation to Chris, and it’s going to happen. Which is why you find yourself trying to ignore the impending feeling of dread as you walk through the school hallways. Classes are over for both the day and the entire academic year itself, and there’s no better time to confess to your crush on the last day of school. That way, if something goes wrong, you can take the summer to recuperate and wallow in your humiliation. 

You weave through the students excited to trade their homework assignments for sunny days at the beach, with only one thought in your mind. Chris, Chris, Chris. You saw him in math class in the morning, and he looked so cute in his new Hawaiian-print shorts while he signed your yearbook for you. Now, you try to find him in the crowd, before he leaves and you’ll be unable to see him for another three months.

As you search, you’re momentarily snapped out of your Chris-induced daze when you bump into Jessi Ho in the congested hall. Knowing your luck, of course you would crash into the loser who constantly picks on Soobin for being shy. 

“Watch it, dumbass.” Jessi crosses her arms and flips her hair over her shoulder. Jay, her wannabe sidekick, gets up in your face, threateningly flashing the tattoos he got without his parents knowing. Although they look like a classic pair of bullies straight out of Mean Girls, you’re more irritated than intimidated right now. 

“I don’t have time for this.” You try to move past the terrible twosome, but Jay grasps your forearm roughly and pulls you back. You wrench your arm free and look at him in both disgust and confusion. “What the hell?”

“I’ll get to the point.” Jessi smirks, bringing her finger up to her head and pointing to her temple. “We know you’re impaired. Up here.”

Your blood freezes over like a river of ice, when Jessie emphasizes that specific word. Even though you’re not impaired, because autism isn’t an intellectual disability, you know what she means. She says it like an insult, like you’re the most useless of garbage, not worth a human being’s basic dignity. Jay bursts out laughing when he sees the horror on your face, slapping his distressed denim thigh like it’s the funniest joke he’s heard in the fifteen miserable years of his life. You just stumble back, shock and panic rising like a tidal wave in your chest. 

“W-what?”

Jessi cackles, clinging onto Jay like he’s her own walking cane. “How cute. She looks so lost.”

You shake your head, the tears building and your throat seizing in alarm. “How…?”

“A little birdie told me.” Jessi steps closer to you, and while every other time you are able to stand up to her, you can barely look her in the eye right now. “It all makes so much sense. Why do you barely talk to anyone but your pathetic bestie? You’re too scared. Why can you never sit still in class? You're just stupid.”

“That- that’s not how it works.” 

You’re grasping at straws, at a loss for words. Any other time, you’d have a snappy comeback ready. You know you struggle with social interactions, but you never thought of yourself as someone disruptive, or weird. You’re one of the highest achievers in your entire school, because sometimes, books make more sense than people. But now? You do feel stupid, exactly like Jessi said. And not because you’re autistic, but because you weren’t careful enough. You’ve been underestimated your entire life because you’re a girl, but now, you know you’ll also be an autistic girl to everyone else. Not who you are. And that’s why you tried your best to keep it on the down low, not because you felt embarrassed, but because this was a part of yourself that was entitled to you. Not anyone else.

“Sure, okay.” Jessi looks bored already, her eyes unfocused roaming the hallway, looking for her next target. “Whatever, stupid.”

Jessi slinks off without a second glance, and Jay follows suit, but not before doing a disgustingly inaccurate impression of autists, speaking gibberish slowly and exaggeratedly. You actually speak faster than other people, because you always say whatever is on your mind. But you don’t give a crap about them right now. Bullies like them will always have the worst to talk about others, and you would rather die than have them be the cause of your tears, ever. What’s really bothering you is who told them about your autism, and how that mystery person found out.

Swallowing roughly, you run over to the bathrooms, forgetting anything else. The only thing on your mind is not losing it in front of everyone. You will not give any of these people the satisfaction. Trying to keep your breathing even, you’re about to enter the bathrooms and relieve your emotions when you hear someone say your name. It doesn’t sound deliberate however, like you weren’t supposed to hear it.

You turn slowly, searching through the swaths of people walking, when your gaze lands on a small group of people gathered at the end of the hallway, a few lockers away from where you’re standing. And his back facing you, but you immediately recognize the person speaking. After the previous year of sitting behind him in Geometry class, you would recognize his curly locks perpetually dyed a soft blond and preppy polo shirt anywhere. Your ears perk up in interest, and while you feel horrible, you know one of Chris’s dimpled smiles would immediately brighten your stormy day, as they always did.

“Tell us the truth Chris!” You hear someone screech like an eager toddler, and you stop in your tracks like a deer in a traffic jam. It can’t be. 

“Fine, Y/N is autistic...”

Everyone around Chris bursts into uproarious laughter, and while you can’t see his expression, Chris begins saying something else that’s drowned out by all of the noise. It was Chris. He told everyone about your autism. Chris, the sweetheart who brings you pudding. Chris, the pretty boy who you have a hopeless crush on. Chris, your friend.

You stumble back and are pushed back into the after-school hallway rush, losing sight of Chris. But you already saw everything you needed to. It would have hurt less if it was anyone but Chris. But it wasn’t. You liked him. You trusted him. And he took that trust and stomped on it, shattering it forever. He took something from you. 

Your heart hardens as you blink away your tears. You mindlessly make your way outside, just in time to catch your bus home. Looking out of the window, with your time and your spirit petrified, you resolve to never, ever make the same mistake again. You will never again put your faith in someone who does not deserve it. 

“You look hungry.” 

You momentarily glance away from your laptop screen to shoot Chris a withering look that could scare a bear. Things are back to normal since your emotional confrontation after the Dean’s meeting. Your rude remarks and his annoyingly cooperative advances are both back for good.

“Shut the fuck up.”

The blistering ice in your voice doesn’t stop Chris from unzipping his backpack and pulling out one of his damn puddings. With a scoff, you turn back to your spreadsheet, taking care to shoot disgusting looks at Chris periodically. Chris just takes his time savoring his pudding, innocently watching your reactions like you’re a goddamn television set.

The hours pass by quickly; you get a good amount of work done, while Chris tries to be helpful by asking useless questions and doing nothing else. Typical. After finishing up a final follow-up email to the Dean’s much more tolerable secretary, you stretch out your arms with a yawn. The library will be closing in a few minutes.

“Where are you going?” Chris’s voice is interrogative as you stand up, like you owe him an answer, which makes you see red. If anything, he is the one who should be giving you an explanation, perhaps why he has to be such a two-faced monstrosity who wants to pretend everything is fine and in the past.

Screw civility.

“Oh, I’m sorry, your royal dopiness. I didn’t know I needed your permission to go home.” Your words are filled with a sickening sarcasm, and fortunately, it’s enough to shut Chris up.

You grab your belongings and stalk out of the personal meeting room that you reserved, barely noticing that everyone else sitting at the previously crowded study spaces has already left. Once in the security of the library bathrooms, you exhale all of the tension you’ve held inside of you and splash cool water onto your heated face. 

You stare into the mirror, seeing the same girl you’ve been trying to leave behind all of this time. You feel like that lost little girl trying to clutch the thought of someone who should be forgotten. You hate that you still have hope in you, that you’ve had it all of these years, that things can be fixed. You’ve tried, you really have. You’ve tried to leave the past behind you, to look forward and do exactly what needs to be done for your success. Here’s the truth: you act like a bitch towards Chris because he sucks and you hate him. Here’s another truth: you act like a bitch towards Chris because… you’re hurt. 

Especially because of your autism, you’ve had a more difficult run at making meaningful relationships. Your friendship with Chris meant that there was hope for you, and you truly believed that. But then he betrayed you, making you doubt yourself and your abilities. And following the incident, it felt like the world was working against you, and it still does. Maybe you could have healed with time, but the universe had other plans, taking care to put you through high school and college with Chris. And with your rotten luck, he’ll probably end up going to the same law school as you.

But you don’t have the time to worry about that right now. Your future depends on the present, and you’ll do your best to remember that. Your productivity mantra will keep you going, and nothing can stop you, from Christopher Bang to misogynistic old deans to… a locked bathroom door?

“What the hell?” You tug on the handle, but the door won’t budge. 

Fuck. 

You were so occupied with Chris that you forgot that after hours, all of the doors automatically lock to preserve campus security. Screw modern technology. You’re about to pull out your phone to try and call someone, but when your fingers meet an empty pocket, you realize you left it in your apartment. With an exasperated groan, you bang against the door as hard as you can and shout for help, even though you know it’s impossible for anyone to hear you and open the door from outside, the only way to free you. After a few minutes, you give up and slide down onto the floor, knowing you’ll have to spend the rest of this godforsaken night in this stuffy bathroom. Even if you somehow eventually gain the strength to bust this stupid door down, there was no getting past the padlocked main library doors. But seriously, which genius had the idea to lock the freaking bathroom doors? 

You close your eyes and place your hand over your heart, trying to calm yourself down. You’re perfectly safe. Alone in a big, empty library. Soon, the bathroom lights will shut down, probably. You wouldn’t know for sure, though. You’ve never been locked in the damn library bathroom before. Perhaps you’ll make friends with the old campus ghosts rumored to haunt this building. And maybe—

The click and turn of the door handle startles you, and you immediately jump out of the way, so your designated savior can let you out. And you’re not even surprised when your eyes meet Chris’s own confused ones. Because of course it’s Chris.

“Why are you still here?” You ask him in a slightly accusing tone, even though he literally has just helped you. You don’t even know why you feel the need to be so pointed, but you are nevertheless. 

“I was waiting for you to come back and didn’t realize the library was closed.” Chris lets out a sigh, rubbing his forehead as if it aches. You hope it does. “I have a question about the proposal.”

“Did you try calling someone? I forgot my phone.”

“Well, my phone doesn’t have any service.”

“Awesome.”

You don’t say anything further as you both exit the cramped corridor outside of the bathroom. In your hurry, you hadn’t even noticed how the librarians had turned off the lights, shrouding the building in darkness. Shivering, you subconsciously move closer to Chris, before you realize yourself and make sure to maintain a six-feet distance between your body and his.

“You can come closer if you’re scared,” Chris teases, noticing your discomfort. “We’re both stuck in this library together.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, please. You’re the one who’s scared of the dark.”

Both of you fall silent as the remembrance sinks in. The day you confided in Chris about your autism, he had shared a secret about himself in return, albeit a less serious one. He had an irrational fear of the dark since he was a small child, and you knew any other fourth grader would have made fun of him for it. You had felt happy, then, that he could confide in you. 

The inadvertent memory feels unwelcome, uncomfortable. Chris clears his throat and looks away. “Not anymore.”

You and Chris decide to make camp in the library common room, since although the main building lights wouldn’t work, there were a few soft table lamps you could turn on for some clarity. You set your backpack down on the carpeted ground and snuggle into the large armchair by one of the bigger lamps. You glance at the decorative grandfather clock in the corner of the room, and it’s just past midnight. At that moment, you really just want to go home, put on your favorite pajamas, and fall asleep while watching your list of comfort anime films. Definitely not being locked in the damn library with Chris Bang, of all people. Since when was your life an episode of Arthur?

“So, you wanted to ask me something?” 

Chris fiddles with his hands for a minute, before looking away. “Never mind.”

You don’t even have it in you to be annoyed at this point. You’re just exhausted. You fall back against the tough cushion of the chair. It feels like you’re sitting on a clothed bag of sawdust. But it’s better than being out there, in the dark. And you hate to admit it, but you’re glad that you have someone to share the company of an empty library with, even if it’s Chris. 

“God, I’m hungry.” You touch your stomach, feeling the gnawing emptiness there.

“Would you like a—”

“No, I would not like a pudding, Chris.”

The minutes eventually tick by, and you feel yourself nodding off. You had told yourself earlier that you would stay alert, but the drowsiness drapes over you like a blanket, lulling you into reluctant sleep.

The menacing roll of thunder snaps you out of your uneasy slumber like the sound of a car crash. Immediately, you double over and tuck your head into your arms, trying to breathe. Your hands, warmed from being pressed under your thighs, go clammy with a cold sweat, and you can feel the tears well, barely keeping them at bay. When your go-to breathing technique doesn’t work, you gasp for air, jerking in your seat at every new crack of thunder invading your perception. 

Immediately, Chris crosses the space between your chairs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hold. Sometimes, thunderstorms cause you to have a sensory overload, and you can’t cope. Chris knows this about you, after you got severely spooked after one particularly bad storm in the middle of class in sixth grade. Chris continues to rock your body slowly with his, whispering calming nothings into your ear. Your breathing slows and returns to a normal pace, but Chris just keeps rubbing slow, comforting circles on your back. 

Soon, the sound of the thunder dissipates, but you’re not entirely sure if it’s actually because the storm ended or if it’s because the overwhelming scent of Chris’s fresh, minty cologne has taken over your senses. 

You look up at Chris, the boy you hate more than anything, and whisper the very last thing that you ever thought you would say to him. “Thank you.”

Chris just nods his head slowly while you untangle yourself from his hold. He gets the hint and lets you scoot away from him, but it’s not far enough. Mere inches separate you from Chris, Chris who helped you without second thought because you were having a panic attack. Forget every ounce of hostility you have shown him, he hugged you like he was your lifeline, which he nearly could have been. 

He looks at you intently, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Why do you hate me so much?”

He’s asked this question multiple times before. The first time was back on the very first day of high school, when you both had English class together, and you staunchly ignored him. He continued to ask you the same thing over and over again, until your lack of acknowledgement made him finally stop and accept your new attitude towards him. But even though you’ve heard this question before, this time feels different. There is a certain vulnerability to his words, like he’s given up and is pleading for one last chance. 

A part of you still wants to try and maintain the animosity you use as a protective barrier, so people can’t tell what you’re really feeling. But you’re just tired of it all, and the question tugs at you too. Maybe you need to reply out loud for both of you to hear, not just him. Maybe you need to affirm your hatred for the dumb boy who waited for you to come back from the bathroom and then held you during a thunderstorm. Or maybe you need to affirm the fact that you may not hate him as much as you think, but you still do. You don’t know. You hate him the most because you don’t know. So, for the first time, you answer him.

“You broke my trust, Chris.”

“When?” Chris looks genuinely perplexed, like he has no idea what you’re talking about. 

With a scoff, you glare up at the ceiling, unable to look him in the eye. “You told everyone about my autism. When I specifically said that I wanted to keep it a secret.”

He shakes his head in a vigorous panic. “I didn’t tell anyone. I promise I didn’t. I promise it wasn’t me.”

Then who was it? 

As if he hears your thoughts, Chris sighs and indulges them. “Jessi. She saw your aide and followed him to his office. She was telling everyone about it, I swear.”

And it makes sense. His explanation checks out, and this all could have been a grand misunderstanding on your part, because of course Jessi would have snooped into your business. You couldn’t save your privacy for long with someone like Jessi hovering. And the thing is, you’re not even surprised. You knew in your heart the entire time that you could have been mistaken, that it was strange that Chris would have violated you like that, but it was just easier to blame him for your pain instead of confronting it. Or so you thought.

“And when everyone found out, I tried defending you. I never, ever would want to hurt you. Please believe me.”

Chris’s eyes are shining with earnesty, and you know he’s telling the truth. But that doesn’t erase all of the years you were hurting. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

“It didn’t even occur to me that it was the reason you stopped talking to me. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder.”

You close your eyes and lean back. “Chris, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. This is on me.”

You feel your hatred towards Chris fade, and all there is left in you is a deflated pocket of sorrow. Your whole goal was to stay focused, but in reality, you’ve put so much time and energy into despising Chris. And that wasn’t the only way you hurt yourself. You also deprived yourself of what could have been a wonderful friendship.

“I do,” Chris insists, interrupting your thoughts. “I was stupid. I gave up so quickly. It hurt me too, not just you.”

You raise your head and tiredly gaze at him. Even in the dark, he looks beautiful. And it’s not merely his looks, but truly his character that shines through. You spent hours picking apart his personality, trying to find flaws and reasons to demonize him, not knowing that in the process, you were the monster yourself. You constantly complained about his lack of initiative and response, when in reality, you never let him actually do anything. You can’t even fathom why he’s being so understanding, or all of his attempts to work with you, even after your cold treatment of him.

“What do you mean, Chris?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this.” Chris groans. “I used to like you. There.”

You perk up. Well, now you’re shocked. “Wait, really? I used to like you, too!”

There’s disbelief written all over Chris’s face. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

Both of you burst into laughter, like you weren’t having a heart-to-heart five minutes ago about hating the other. It feels good to laugh, and for a second, you’re transported back into fourth grade, when you first met Chris. 

When you were a kid, you barely laughed, which worried the crap out of your parents. The doctors said it was common among individuals with autism, but it didn’t seem that way when you walked around, unsmiling and unfeeling. You weren’t completely socially inept, or exactly shy, but you preferred to keep to yourself. And then Chris had offered you a pudding. You felt like friendship was worth something, then. You felt seen. And maybe that scared you a little bit, being on the edge with someone who made you feel so deliciously raw. Maybe that’s why you didn’t fight back for Chris, because you would rather leave than be left. 

Chris rakes his fingers through his hair, the ghost of a smile playing upon his lips. “You know, I still like you.”

“Very funny.”

“I do.”

“You’re crazy. Stop that.”

“Maybe.” Chris throws his hands up and then lets them fall back down. “I like you and don’t want to stop.”

“After how I treated you for the past eight years?” You nearly laugh with how ridiculous he’s being. Hell, if you were in his place, you’d hate yourself.

“But you were hurt. A lot.” Chris shrugs. “You’ve become this amazing woman. You’re… incredible. Hardworking, talented, smart. Keeping in mind how you truly believed I was the cause for your pain, you excelled in spite of the fact that the universe kept pulling us together.”

You shake your head. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay. I’ll say it for you.” Chris looks down at his palms. “I like you, and that’s why I became co-president and faked having no service on my phone so we would be stuck in a library together.”

“Chris—”

“Please. Don’t say no. Not after eight years of me pining for you, knowing you’d never look at me again. Knowing I was falling deeper every time you cursed at me. Please, Y/N. I want to know you again, and you to know me. Please.” Chris’s expression is begging, and it pains you even more. 

You still hurt, but it’s a different kind of torture. It’s the kind of hurt that’s the result of yearning, the kind of yearning that stems from hatred, subjugated love, and uncertain acceptance. It’s the kind of hurt that tells you that you don’t deserve him. He deserves someone who isn’t a complete and utter coward. Someone who hasn’t been completely and utterly in love with him all this time, but too stubborn and too pained to admit it. Someone who isn’t completely and utterly awed by the magnificent man he is, but too bitter to say it. 

Chris reaches out his hand and places it on the side of your face, imploring you with his hesitant palm. You melt into his touch, when a mere few hours ago, you would have slapped it off of you. His skin is warm against yours, and the softness radiating from him pulls at you. You want to say yes. You want to open a blank page in the book. You want to start fresh with this beautiful boy in front of you.

“I’m sorry.” And you’re not just apologizing for pushing him away before, but now too. You don’t get to have him. 

“Just… why?”

“I can’t. I’m so sorry.” The repeated dialogue from you has a note of finality that even Chris’s insolence can’t break through. 

And just like that, all of the bridges you both repaired come crumbling down, but this time, it’s on purpose. You’ve always been quick to make decisions, never mulling over a choice for too long. You loved Chris. You hated Chris. You still love Chris. But you reject Chris. It’s easy to do, like one computer command after the other. But then Chris retracts his touch and wordlessly gets up from the armchair, curling up into his original position in the other chair. He’s facing away from you, you feel like you’ve struck an error message. The hours pass, and the softly snoring form of Chris reminds you of a blaring bad request, a pile of code that just won’t compile. Eventually, your computer shuts down too, and you share a temporary commonality with Chris when you fall asleep.

“Wake up dear.”

Your eyes fly open, and you sit up. Natural light pours in through the big windows, and you can feel your skin drinking in the sunshine. The librarian’s kind eyes are watching you with worry, but all you can think of is the night before. Perhaps it was all a dream. You were angry at Chris and then fell asleep after coming back from the bathroom. End of story. But then you feel that familiar ache in your heart, and you know you weren’t hallucinating everything that transpired between you both.

You turn to look at the librarian, who still seems immensely concerned, especially with your disoriented morning look. “I’m sorry, where is Chris?”

“He just left a few minutes ago, sweetheart. I was opening up for the day, when I saw him waiting to be let out at the front entrance. Nearly scared the life out of me.” The librarian places her hand on your shoulder. “He told me you were here.”

The librarian rushes off to her personal office to make you some tea, and you’re left alone in the common room. And no one else is here either, because today is Saturday and your university is supposed to be hosting a football game against a rival school. You look down at your body and notice a jacket wrapped around your body, one that definitely isn’t yours. You don’t have an expensive leather jacket that smells like Tom Ford cologne. It was freezing last night because the library doesn’t have heating, and Chris must have woken up in the middle of the night and draped it on you. You feel another pang in your heart as you think of Chris leaving without speaking to you. You deserve it, though.

As you sadly walk out of the library, you decide to skip the game even though as student body president, you should be there, representing the school. You reach your off-campus apartment, the one that you were so excited to finally lease a few months ago, and sprawl onto your couch, already feeling weary of the day. Nevertheless, you fish your phone out of the jumble of couch pillows and call Soobin, because he must be worried sick. You always text him goodnight before you sleep, and yesterday must have been the first time you didn’t.

“How could you?” He’s angry, a new color on him.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. The library—” You start, but Soobin doesn’t let you finish.

“Forget the library! I’m talking about Chris. He’s stepping down from the president role because of you, Y/N!” Soobin screeches into the phone, making you shoot up in alarm.

“What?!”

“I overheard him tell everything to Jisung. Y/N, this is wrong.” Soobin sounds calmer, but nonetheless distressed. “I know you love him. You shouldn’t let this happen.”

Your face heats up in surprise. “How—”

You hear Soobin tsk, and you just know he’s shaking his head, disappointed. “I didn’t even have to hear him talk to know that. There’s a fine line between love and hate. You can never stop talking about him!”

There’s no denying it now. You shouldn’t have underestimated Soobin; no matter how silly he can be, he is your best friend in the whole world after all. And maybe all the time, the only one you were lying to was yourself. 

You grab a pillow and cradle it, just wanting to cry it all out. You always have more intense feelings than others, but right now, your heart hurts so much that you doubt you can blame being emotional on your autism. 

“Soobin, what do I do? I don’t want to hurt him, but…” You sniffle. “I didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself. For eight years, I made my whole personality hate Chris. And now, he forgives me and I accept it? I’m so stupid, God.”

“I agree you’re stupid.”

“You’re not making me feel better!”

“Sorry.” Soobin sighs. “But you need to get over yourself and your drama. Stop making this harder for both of you, and just be grateful that you haven’t lost him. Yet.”

And with that, he cuts the call in a way very unlike Soobin, making you groan out loud in frustration. Now you want to punch your pillow, because your best friend is absolutely right.

It doesn’t take long for you to find Chris in the packed stadium. Through the throngs of students eager to trade their homework for a good home game, you see him standing with one of his friends in an upper corner of the stands. When you were younger, you were obsessed with Greek mythology and thought that Chris looked like Apollo, the god of the sun, with his golden curls and sunny disposition. Today, his light seems to have dimmed, as he watches the ongoing game with his hands shoved into his pockets and a forlorn look marking his gaze. 

“Chris!” You shout to try and get his attention, but it’s to no avail. The cheering crowd is ear-splitting, and you have no other choice but to climb up to the top.

Grunting, you hoist yourself up the steep stairs and try not to look behind you. If you do, you’ll fall off the stands with dizziness, which would be slightly undesirable compared to what you have to do next. Slightly. With the final step, you haul into Chris’s row, catching your breath and a first glimpse at how high up you really are. The players on the field look like tiny ants, and you feel your stomach drop. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. 

But it’s too late to turn back now, because Chris has already spotted you and hurries over. You tense and lose your footing, stumbling over someone as they kick their legs in anticipation. Great. 

“What are you doing here?” Chan places a toned arm around your shoulders and pulls you up, leading you to his seat. You clumsily collapse into the solid, curved plastic of the chair, and Chris follows next to you.

You then notice Chris’s friend, a heartbreakingly handsome man who you vaguely remember as Minho from your sophomore year literature class. He’s wistfully gazing at a very pretty girl who is chatting with Terry, Soobin’s old roommate, a few rows down. Minho then becomes aware of your presence and hurriedly excuses himself, rushing out of the aisle and disappearing into the crowd. You turn to Chris.

“Is he okay?”

Chris exhales, running his fingers through his hair, combing through it before the soft locks flop back into place on his forehead. “I… Minho’s just going through some stuff right now.”

“Seems like he’s not the only one.” You toy with your ring, twisting it around your finger. “I heard you’re resigning.”

“Who told you that?”

“Soobin. He was eavesdropping on you and Jisung today in Morningstar,” you respond. “Why are you leaving the role?”

Chris looks away from you and out at the field. Your university’s football team still hasn’t scored. “I’d just be in your way. This is for the best, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Please don’t. I need you.”

“You’ll be fine.”

This is what you thought you wanted all along, a world without Chris in it. Besides Student Council, neither of you share any classes or activities this year. If he left, you wouldn’t have to cross paths with him again. You could run the council well on your own, you know that. But you don't want to. You don’t ever want to imagine a world without Chris. He’s been by your side for so long now, and now when he’s about to step away do you truly realize how much you need him.

“Maybe. But I won’t be happy.” Against your better judgment, you reach over and grasp his hand, making Chris start in surprise.

Chris shakes his head, still skeptical. “All I’ve ever done is make you unhappy, Y/N. You don’t want me to be around.”

You sigh, knowing he’s not going to come around, not without the right kind of persuasion. “I was dreading having to do this.”

“Do what?”

You reach into the small purse hanging off of your shoulder and pull what you had scoured the entire city for in the past few hours. “Would you like a pudding?”

Chris looks bemused, staring down at the small cup of chocolatey goodness in the delicate palm of your hand. 

“Or do you want a kiss?” You stare at Chris intently, trying to ignore the whammering beat of your heart. “What will it take for you to stay in your position?”

“W-what?”

“Or I could be your girlfriend. Because I really want to see where this goes.” You take a deep breath. “A bunny once told me that I just need to get out of the past. I’ve left it behind, and I’m looking forward, Chris.”

“Fine.” Chris swallows roughly and bites back the slow smile spreading on his features. “Can I have all three?”

“You never make it easy, do you, Chris?” 

Before he can quip back at you, you grasp the collar of his t-shirt and tug him to you, your lips meeting just as the home team finally scores a touchdown and the crowd erupts in applause. You couldn’t care less though, because although the preteen you is jumping up and down like the rest of the cheering fans, the adult you is smiling into the lips of the man you definitely do not hate. Actually, you love him. 

Chris slings his arms around your waist and pulls your body closer to his, sweetly laughing into your ear when you both come up for air. “Am I a good kisser, or what?”

“Shut up.” 

And you’re kissing him again. Warmth blossoms in your chest, sparks igniting as you lean into each other after years of loving, hating, and longing. Your arms roving over each other coax all and any remaining hesitation left in you both, and it feels so right. You treasure the soft sighs of pleasure and elation spilling from Chris’s lips, his sounds more deafening than any overzealous football fan’s rally cry. 

“So, do I not get the pudding, or…?” Dimples cut across Chris’s cheeks as he pulls away from your lips once more just to shoot you a cheeky grin.

You roll your eyes playfully and reach into your lap, tearing open the foil wrapper on top of the pudding cup before handing it to him. “You and your pudding.”

“You know you love it.”

Check out the rest of boys' stories on Love Playlist!

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» 

TAGLIST  @chansburgah @hee0soo @hamburgers101 @ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98@ohish@anyamaris@chizumiyoshi@lilydaisyyy@lollloll9090@jetblackbelle

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©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

[kidrauhlschik]

~ Impudent ~     Kim Seungmin SMAU

adjective

im·​pu·​dent

marked by contemptuous or cocky boldness or disregard of others : INSOLENT

-

He never needed anyone, never has and never will. At least that’s how his schoolmates describe him. Kim Seungmin has been the college it boy the second he set a foot on campus. People either love him or hate him, y/n happened to fall in the ladder.

So of course, as fate would have it, they get paired together for their senior thesis. Just when she thought her life couldn’t get any more stressful, she now has to work with the rich, entitled guy who always had everything handed to him on a silver platter. 

She was not going to let that happen this time.

WARNINGS:  angst, fluff, humor, crack, enemies to lovers, non-idol!au, insecurities, college!au seungmin is very annoying and so are his group of friends, we love them though. lmk if you think i missed anything!

A/N: This is my first official SMAU. Super hyped! Thank you if you read this far!!

TAGLIST IS NOW OPEN :)

~ Introduction:

baboracha - self made kings

~ Chapters:

01. be so fucking fr rn

02. i hope you choke

03. ur the same as them lol

04. oF cOurSe yOu dO

05. r u dumb?

06. 3RACHA

07. Block me

08. stupid feud

09. ugly smile

10. No murder?

11. you inspire me

12. Like. Together?

13. I’m going to bleach my eyeballs

14. But separately

15. Rich people are wild.

16. still an asshole

17. Let me in

18. Let me in. (2)

19. Cool

20. Ouch.

21. WUJANSKAISJA

22. Crew Profiles

23. Impudent.

~ ALTERNATIVE ENDING: 

PICKS UP RIGHT AFTER CHAPTER 19

20. the rat went home

21. 

TAGLIST: @hangin-out-with-the-street-rats@lethallyprotected @ohish @whiplaaaaaaaaash@iadorethemskz @dawnandyoongi @karma1289 @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lixie-phoria @uno7 @https-skzology @leebitsimpracha @hanniesss @mchslut @vixensss @eeeeeeeeeeeeweeeeeeepeeeeee @the-universe-is-complicated @nocturnalscribbler @chaotickyrith @seungminsdreamwife @ksywoo @smally97 @vallenciagaa @hyundumpling @jaembby @a-l-i-y-a @habeyhanp @hyundumpling @jaembby @minhaurloml @idkwimdahyd @morningstardada @hyunsungbased @foxxxface @slay-and-gay @strawberry-shortest-cake @vixensss

[backtoyuta]

I'm Mr Brightside

Han Jisung fluffy College au

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are some facts in this world that you can’t deny; the sky is blue, the grass is green, and you and Han Jisung had a chemistry that couldn’t be ignored.

When your friend had first introduced you to her cute, freckled boyfriend and his wild bunch of friends, you were a little intimidated. Their loudness and exuberance had caught you off guard and you could’ve cried when she and Felix had left you to go to the convenience store, paying no mind to how awkward you felt with these new people.

However, you really needn’t have worried. Whilst you were sat there clutching your can of drink and pretending to look busy on your phone, a boy with rounded cheeks and brown doe eyes had sidled into the seat next to you and before you knew it- friendship was born.

Jisung was an incredible friend to have around, he was fucking funny, for a start. He also could be very sensitive when need be, and you and his introverted self gelled so well that you naturally just gravitated towards each other.

When your friends had coerced you into joining them clubbing after having pre-drinks in yours and your friend’s apartment, it was Jisung who stayed sat in the booth with you, chatting over cheap drinks and plotting how you would get the others to call it a night and go get a MacDonald’s.

When you were drowning in the horrendous amount of work your tutor had set you with a deadline due in a matter of hours, it was Jisung who stayed up with you, finding sources for you to cite, organising your notes and coming up with ridiculous ways to lengthen your sentences so you would reach the word count.

When your family pet had passed away, it was Jisung who surprised you by coming over with food, a movie and a “manly shoulder to cry on” which you snorted at, accepting all the gifts graciously before allowing Jisung to take you to the local animal shelter to pet some puppies and grieve for a little bit.

Jisung was amazing, but you can imagine his horror when he found out you had a boyfriend.

Said boyfriend had been left at home while you studied away at university, and Jisung couldn’t deny that he was absolutely sickened. Thus far, it had been an unspoken consensus that you and Jisung were bound to get together at some point. Afterall, you were the one he always scouted the room for at parties, you were the one he went the extra mile for on the daily, and you were the one he was constantly thinking about when you weren’t in the same room.

You can imagine the horror when Jisung swung by your apartment as part of a routine and walked in on you face timing your boyfriend. He couldn’t hide the sneer on his face when he observed how disinterested he was when you were sat in front of his screen, or how he interrupted you when you spoke. After that day, Jisung found himself becoming a little sulky around you and listening to Heartbreak Girl by 5SOS perhaps a little too often. You would often be comforting him or trying to draw him out of his shell, but you never knew for what reason because he would never tell you.

A new dynamic had settled in your group. Jisung liked you, you liked Jisung- this was common knowledge. However, you couldn’t ignore the tension in the room when the boyfriend was brought up. You may have just mentioned him in passing, occasionally you would have an argument or two that came with the long distance, but Minho’s eyes would flicker to Jisung’s concernedly while the blonde boy tried to remain unbothered.

“sounds like an ass to me.” Minho piped; his face full of mirth while you got flustered.

“He’s not… he’s just weird like that.” You had attempted to defend, though it was true, he could be a bit of an arse sometimes. Despite the truth in Minho’s words, it was to a certain someone’s dismay that it didn’t appear that you would be breaking up with this arsey boyfriend of yours any time soon.

Though it was painful, Jisung had been raised right, plus he wanted to maintain a good friendship with you at the very least. He had perfected hiding his emotions to a tee and reigned in the heart eyes out of respect for your relationship. As time had progressed you both got closer, a sort of chemical imbalance occurring as it was obvious yours and Jisung’s chemistry overrode yours and your boyfriends completely.

How about that time during movie night at Jisung’s apartment? The flat he shared with his seven other roommates was at max capacity with you and your best friend there too and it was at Jeongin’s request that you watch all the Woman in Black movies in succession. Having never been a fan of horror, and nor was Jisung, it wasn’t long until you felt your phone vibrate with a text while Jisung tried to look as though he wasn’t shitting his pants from across the room.

J: you wanna watch toy story in my room upstairs?

Y/N: I would very much enjoy that.

J: nice

It was Seungmin that had eventually excused himself to use the bathroom, which was where he thought he would find you after you made your great escape, but instead the glow of Jisung’s laptop catching his attention through the door that was ajar and You got a friend in me wafting from the room. You maintained a friendly distance in Jisung’s bed, the blanket was warm, but the heat Jisung radiated was warmer, you couldn’t help but feel the itch to tuck yourself into his side- like a couple would. Seungmin figured he’d tease you both for being pussies later, something was telling him that he should leave you both be in the bubble you created.

There was that other time you were sat in the boys’ kitchen close to midnight, your best friend listening intently with Chris and Felix while you bitched about your boyfriend over the kitchen table.

“So, remind me what he did again?” Chris questioned exasperatedly; his head tilted in your direction while you huffed into your mug of tea.

“You know that video I posted of Jisung on my story?” You elaborated, Chris and Felix’s heads nodding in unison as they thought back to the clip you had taken of the two of you. Like mature young adults, you and the others had been bored and tired of classes and thought it would be fun to let off some steam in the deserted play park at eleven ‘o clock at night. It was Felix who had suggested a game of sardines in the dark and eerie play area, and you and Jisung thought you were geniuses by hiding in the giant plastic slide. Not only had the boys and your best friend taken ages to find you and congregate in the same slide- while Chris was left scratching his head and scouring the park to find you all, but you had also taken some pretty hilarious videos of Jisung in the tube, reading the vile graffiti that teens had written in sharpie on the inside and at one point him losing a shoe in the confined space.

“Yeah, he was pissed at Jisung for literally no reason.” You vented, taking a sip of your drink and cringing at how the fun memory had turned sour because of your petty boyfriend.

“Pissed how?” Felix asked, curious about what he could possibly have had to say about one of his closest friends. With your back to the living area, you didn’t hear the soft pad of Jisung’s socked feet entering the room, you just continued to explain your tiff before Chris or Felix could say anything.

“He was saying stuff like: “Why are you always so close with Jisung? You always laugh with Jisung, you never laugh like that with me, you’re always so awkward with me now- blah, blah, blah.” You finished, rolling your eyes. You’d feel more sympathetic towards your boyfriend’s insecurities if they weren’t so irrational. He’d met Jisung on facetime enough times and hadn’t said a word then, plus he was acting like you should be totally friendless and unhappy so long as he wasn’t there to make you laugh. You couldn’t help that being with Jisung was so seamless, his charisma and humour complimented yours almost a little too well.

“I don’t know…” You sighed, still ignorant to the figure behind you, “… maybe don’t tell Jisung, I don’t want him to get all weird about it.” You finished, finally looking up to meet the eyes of the two boys who were staring at something straight over your head.

As soon as you saw the way that Chris fought the laugh that was etching onto his face, and how your best friend was looking like a deer caught in headlights, you just knew. You turned to face the blonde properly, he was dressed in sweats and a loose t-shirt, seemingly roused from his sleep and you couldn’t help but coo internally at his ruffled hair and awkward expression at what he heard. You had tried to mollify the situation, babbling explanations and telling him to not worry about your ass-hat of a boyfriend but you had no idea what was going on in Jisung’s head. He knew it was a little petty, but he couldn’t help but preen at his ego being groomed at the thought of despite knowing you for less than half the time your boyfriend had known you, the laugh that made his serotonin shoot was a laugh that you reserved for only him; and he was the one you weren’t awkward around.

****

“I’ll be down in a sec!” You yelled to your friend from your dorm room. It was 11:30 at night, late for a school night, but early in the evening you had planned. You weren’t a massive fan of the uni clubbing scene; more often than not, you were more likely to stay for the pre drinks and wave off your drunken friends out the door, but tonight you had made a promise to at least try and enjoy yourself. You gulped down the last of the vodka lemonade you had been nursing while adding the last touches to your makeup. It was impossible not to cringe at the burning taste of the liquor, but you’d do anything to get yourself sufficiently drunk tonight. It was a delicate balance; with the right alcohol, the right people and the right music you could have an amazing time- if anything out of those things were off, you’d be whining to go home in no time at all.

You put little emphasis on the right people, you had no doubt that the group of boys your friend had introduced you to were the right people to go out with- loud as hell and all with a lust for life that was infectious. You felt warm at the thought of seeing Jisung, despite seeing him most days, you knew he’d be the Clyde to your Bonnie tonight… If Bonnie and Clyde were notorious introverts, and not, ya know… murderers.

You could already hear the base of the grimy music thumping, and the yells and whoops of the boys from the communal kitchen. The LEDs that were lazily hung by one of your roommates flashed and changed and made the corridor look disorientating until your eyes adjusted, and you strolled your way to your friends with your empty cup in hand- eager for a refill.

Your friend greeted you animatedly from the entryway, Felix in tow as per usual, she spoke quickly about mixer in the fridge and how you would be leaving for the club at half past twelve at the earliest. You were only half paying attention, you could see in your periphery Jisung’s cute round face from his perch on the kitchen stool, his hands holding his phone but his doe eyes watching your form intently. In a matter of seconds, your eyes were making contact with his and you smiled warmly. You could see from his hunched figure and severe lack of a drink that he was feeling a little out of his depth- you knew the feeling all too well and wasted no time to stroll over to him with two cups in hand.

***

Jisung knew he was being obvious, try as he might to be subtle, it was impossible not to gawp at your figure clad in a cute dress and your ankle boots, gorgeous as ever and a little rough around the edges. He couldn’t help it, your presence was always a huge comfort to him, you were the best person to seek refuge with when he went through spells of anxiety and you were his favourite shoulder to cry on. He couldn’t supress the smile that crept on his face when you noticed his figure, both of you sharing a knowing smile when you grabbed two cups from the side and made your way over.

“Boy looks like he needs a drink,” you teased playfully, slinking up to his rigid body and swiftly twisting the cap off the bottle of vodka that was in reaching distance.

“You know me too well.” Jisung answered back, the undertone of an inside joke lingering around you. You were both cut from the same cloth; pretty much being forced to go out to the club when it was a mutual understanding that you’d just rather- not?

After sloshing a shot of vodka in the cup, you cracked open a new can of Redbull and split it between the two of you, chuckling at Jisung’s cringed out expression after taking a brave gulp of the concoction. Yeah, it was strong, but the key to survival and making the most of these kinds of nights was to get at least sufficiently tipsy. Worst case was that the alcohol never hit you and you would spend a sobering time circulating the smoking area, photobooth and seating area with your platonic other half.

The pre-drinks continued smoothly, a game of ring of fire ensuing whilst you were in an animated conversation with Jisung about your “game plan” for night.

“You know Changbin had nearly a whole bottle of wine before we got here, he won’t last the whole night.” Jisung attested, the both of you observing the boy laugh loudly while simultaneously trying to chat up one of your roommates.

“God, he’ll be sick before 3am, he’s drinking a desperado…” You gaped horrified, Jisung laughing before the severity of the situation hit him.

“Crap… I don’t really want to peel him off the kitchen floor again, he nearly vommed on my shoes last time.” The blonde shuddered at the memory. You just ruffled his hair affectionately, Changbin was a big boy, and you felt comforted when you noticed the watchful eye of Chris observing him from across the kitchen island; Changbin was in good hands.

The following hour flew by, you and Jisung making what you thought were accurate predictions on how you thought the night was going to go down based on your drunken friends. When it was time to grab your little cropped denim jacket and your purse, it was just shy of one in the morning, and you all began the small trek to the nearest club.

It didn’t escape your notice how close you were when you walked. Occasionally Jisung would stick an arm out and draw your waist closer to him when a stranger walked past, your hands brushing against each other’s in a frustrating game of will they or won’t they hold hands. Just as you were coming to the club’s entrance, your phone rang, and you couldn’t hold back the urge to roll your eyes. You shouldn’t have told your boyfriend you were going out tonight, he had choice words about it earlier and no doubt did he have choice words about it now.

“You could just not answer him.” Jisung mused gently, both of you joining the back of the queue and watching your phone light up with the call. Not wanting the impending argument to roll over to tomorrow you answered anyway, chuckling at Jisung and giving yourself some space while you had a conversation.

“You would love that, wouldn’t you?” Jeongin teased quietly, only so he and Jisung could hear. A swift jab to the ribs was what caused Jeongin to squawk, and then cease his tormenting. Jisung’s attention was recaptured by you; your inability to hide your expressions coming to the forefront when he caught sight of your scowl that was illuminated by the street- light that loomed above you.

“I can’t believe you went out anyway.” You boyfriend lectured, annoying as ever.

“I don’t know why you expect me to just sit around all day and do nothing? I want to have some fun for fucks sake-” You replied angrily, your temper quickly reaching a peak.

“You’re at a club! How do I know you’re not gonna neck it on with every guy there?!”

“It’s not my problem you’re feeling insecure… just leave me alone.” You quipped back, causing a chorus of “Oooohhhhs” from Chris and Changbin at your verbal take down. You were trying really hard not to giggle; this wasn’t a good time.

“Yeah, well, what do you expect? You’re always with that other guy how do you expect me to feel? Is he there now?” You glanced at Jisung anxiously, not really wanting to lie, but you knew what your boyfriend wanted to hear. “Well? Is he, or isn’t he?” Your boyfriend continued to put pressure on you, making you squirm.

“Well… yes, he is, but what’s that got to do with anything?” You huffed dejectedly, already hearing the loud sigh from the other side of the line.

“Just go home Y/N, have someone else walk you home or something, just go home before I get really mad.”

“I want to have fun, you can get really mad for all I care,” and you hung up with a flourish. Looking back up, you couldn’t supress the laugh at watching Felix pretend to drop a mic, the others jeering at you standing up to your dick of a boyfriend. You got back in line with Jisung, trying to shake off your pissy mood so as not to ruin your night.

“He really hates me, doesn’t he?” Jisung muttered, fiddling with one of his bracelets anxiously.

“You don’t mind him Jisung,” you comforted, “He hates everything with a penis.” You tried to joke to take the edge off. He did laugh though, so it kind of worked. Finally, you got the front of the line, presenting your IDs to the bouncer before making your way inside the illuminated building, your heart already vibrating from the loud music.

****

The club was an absolute mess in the best way. Choosing a highlight wasn’t easy- however at one point your friend had captured the attention of someone who was not Felix. You were fully prepared to go over there and snatch her back with no questions asked but watching Felix Mc Hammer his way over to reclaim his girlfriend was much more entertaining. Your pre-drinking had worked a charm, you weren’t off your face, but you definitely felt a lot looser than you normally would and as did Jisung, even daring to join the others on the main dancefloor at one point. You were never a sexy dancer, but that wasn’t the vibe anyway with the 2000’s hits the DJ was playing, and you couldn’t be happier to get groovy with Jisung to Jennifer Lopez and Pitbull or absolutely losing it over Avril Lavigne.

The mood was high by the time you finally decided to leave, your heart set on putting your pyjamas on and ordering a McDonalds before calling it a night. You clung to Jisung absentmindedly, the drinks you had consumed in the club making you wobble and sway with every step. You had been right about Changbin by the way; you knew it was your cue to leave when he announced he had vomited in the club toilets, a defeated look gracing his features.

You didn’t feel too great either, but the nausea in your stomach wasn’t caused by the alcohol. Your boyfriend had called back a couple of times, probably fuming at your last conversation, but for the sake of everyone enjoying the night out Minho had tugged the phone from your hands and promptly switched it off before handing it back. You couldn’t help but worry though, the inevitable wrath you’d have to deal with came closer with every minute that ticked by.

Finally, you stumbled back into your student apartment, eight boys, your best friend and a couple of your other roommates in tow, all ready to collapse into the living room and demolish some fast food. You excused yourself to your room to shed your jacket and shoes, your body failing you quickly when opening the door. Luckily, you had waiting arms to steady you, Jisung pushing the heavy door for you and following in behind, his stance looking a little wavy as he too- was very drunk.

“God, he’s gonna be so pissed at me…” You said to no one in particular, flinging yourself onto your bed. Jisung followed suit, the sound of your door clicking shut as he settled beside you and let his gaze fall to the photos and polaroids you had decorated your pin board with. He couldn’t help but feel his confidence inflate a little as he observed that a photo you had taken with your boyfriend had been covered up almost entirely by the pictures you had taken in a photobooth from a different night out with him. The four pictures were undeniably adorable, his favourite being the one where you both finally figured out where to look and both of your giant smiles taking the focal point, the other be the one where you were laughing, and Felix and your best friend had poked their heads into the curtain to photobomb you. Jisung took up an awful lot of your photos, from the slightly awkward smiles from when you first met each other to the shameless silly faces you pulled from the last time you had your camera out. Surely, there had to be a reason, subconsciously or not, why Jisung’s picture shrouded the person’s that you were supposed to be dating.

“Why are you still with him?” Jisung quizzed bravely, his drunkenness making him more confident. There was a sudden change in atmosphere, the air around you became thick with tension at the softness of his voice. You both knew he wasn’t just asking out of curiosity, there was a clear subliminal and unanswered question; why aren’t you with me?

“I… don’t know.” You answered honestly, your voice sounding so unsure as you flipped onto your side to face the boy properly. You propped your head up with your hand, your mind still swimming with intoxication as Jisung looked to you properly too. His hair was pushed from his face, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes bloodshot. He looked hot tonight, his light denim jacket and white T-shirt and jeans a simple outfit, but of course he made it look like a runway outfit effortlessly. “It’s not easy… breaking up with someone, we’ve been together a long time.” You explained softly. It hurt, to watch the disappointment cloud his eyes, so much so, that you stood swiftly to shed more of your accessories in order to distract yourself from the conversation at hand. It didn’t seem like Jisung was having it though, being the polite and gracious boy he was, he normally would’ve left the conversation at that, but being drunk and in his feels was spurring on a different side of him tonight.

“It could be though…” Jisung stood just as you turned to face him, your new close proximity catching you off guard and causing you to stumble back. “… I don’t want to upset you, but it’s not fair… he’s an ass.” He emphasised the last word deliberately, to which you couldn’t bring yourself to disagree. Jisung wasn’t much taller than you, but in this moment, with his newly found confidence he seemed to tower you, your figure shrinking in the small space. You took a step back, though you were mad at your boyfriend- you weren’t a cheater, but that resolve was becoming weaker and weaker as Jisung took a step closer to shrink the gap you had made wider. “I don’t want to do the cringe speech where I say how much better I am... but I don’t want to be with anyone else.” He took another step, and you took one back. Your dorm room was tiny, and it didn’t take much until you were entrapped by the wall and the boy in front of you. It wasn’t that you were uncomfortable, thrilled was probably the better word for it. Equally terrified and equally excited, you low-key loved this part of Jisung- but you didn’t want to be disloyal either.

You couldn’t think of the words to argue, because your argument was void. Jisung had every right to feel like he was the better guy for you… because he was. It was a tad daunting at how self-aware he was but any fool could see it. The air was so hot and thick between you, your words kept falling off the tip of your tongue as you attempted to rationalise your feelings, ultimately failing each time.

“You make me so happy; I’ve never met anyone like you… I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like you again.” He continued, taking one, final, baby step closer. You couldn’t have been any more than a couple of inches apart, his breath warm as it fanned against your face and it made your stomach flip.

“You’re drunk…” You tried, the last-ditch effort to deter the boy in front of you.

“So are you… plus they say drunk words are sober thoughts…” He trailed off almost cheekily, a dark chuckle sounding as his eyes fell down to your lips, his tongue poking out to wet his own in anticipation.

“Jisung…” You muttered, already knowing full well where this was going.

“…Just say no, if you want me to stop.” He murmured, his head dipping closer and closer to yours by the second.

Whilst your conscious was screaming at you to say no, push him away, slam the door on him, literally anything to stop what was about to happen from happening, you just didn’t care. Jisung’s lips were light on your own, first dipping down to kiss you experimentally, his hair tickling your forehead and hands wrapping around your waist lightly, before going back in with new fervour.

The only way you could explain the feeling was pure relief. The way he kissed you with both passion and a tenderness was something you could never experience with your boyfriend. Obviously, a part of this felt so wrong, but a huge part felt so right. The hand that slid around your side and the other that came to tangle in your hair had you fitting together like puzzle pieces. It took a minute for your subconscious to overlap your moral compass, but when it finally did, Jisung sighed contently at the feeling of you kissing him back with equal emotion. The taste of liquor remained on both of your tongues, your bodies equally warm from drunkenness and it made the room feel stifling. Only when Jisung had begun to tug and push your jacket from your shoulders, the movement of his head feeling like it had every intention of pressing the most searing kisses to the newly exposed skin, that you felt like you had to stop.

You pulled away stiffly, your body language evidently moving against its will. Your head fell back against the wall with a dull thump, your breathing slightly laboured as you let the silence and tension speak for itself. Welp, it was official. You had cheated on your boyfriend, to some degree… Shit.

“I’m sorry…” The boy in front of you muttered, his cosy embrace already slipping off from around you, making you feel cold and empty.

“Me too.” You whispered back, your head hanging. It didn’t need to be said, you both knew that no one, other than the two people in the room would ever know about what just happened. Jisung sniffed, shrugging his shoulders back in an attempt at getting himself together before pushing his sweaty hair from his face.

“I’m gonna go, order some food…” He spoke in a tone that was supposed to feel casual. You just nodded, allowing him to leave the room and walk down the corridor to join the others in the living area.

Jisung knew it was a mistake to kiss you, not because of your boyfriend, but because he knew in his heart that if he kissed you once he would inevitably want to kiss you again. Not knowing what it would feel like was one thing but knowing that it sent his heart into an addictive over drive, his nerves charging with electricity was something else. In short, he felt like an idiot; it already sucked enough to be the guy that everyone knew was in love with a girl that he couldn’t have, what sucked even more was that he knew for sure now that you liked him back. However, he was far too used to acting like he was unbothered, a skill he never thought he would have to utilise so much- until he met you. He had perfected the art of playing Mr Brightside, and no matter how sick to his stomach it made him feel to see you remain with the D-bag that was your boyfriend, he still had the ability to be a genuine and supportive friend.

****

Maybe it was more obvious to an outsider, but you weren’t dumb. It was clear that the longer you stayed away from your boyfriend the more your relationship broke down. A part of you was telling you to keep persevering because all relationships have their struggles, but another part was telling you to just dump his ass. You were more inclined to listen to the latter; unsurprisingly, the kiss you shared with Jisung had stuck with you for weeks. In the shower, eating breakfast, trying to catch up on work, any given moment your brain was occupied with the memory of his hands in your hair and the brush of his lips. Quite honestly, the most hot and heavy moment you had ever experienced in your life- not once had the guy you were in a committed relationship with kissed you with so much passion. You had attempted to actively avoid the boy for a couple of days, but it all just seemed redundant when he was living rent-free in your mind anyway. He didn’t need to be there physically; you were a mess either way.

Being the person that you were, you didn’t think to announce to all of your friends when the deed had been done. Looking back, the breakup itself had taken a bit of beating around the bush to finally come out with it, and a huge amount of explaining that you weren’t dumping him solely for Jisung. At the end of the day, he just wasn’t the one, and you had to assure to him and yourself that you were doing this for you and only you. Of course, you were quite saddened by how things had worked out, but the overwhelming feeling of freedom had eclipsed that after a day or two of moping around. Only you were aware for the first few days that you were now a single pringle, you didn’t want to announce it to everyone as if your life was some kind of reality show, so when the cat did come out of the bag you tried to be as lowkey about it as possible:

“How are you Y/N?”

“Doing better Jisung, thanks.” You fumbled, taking off your shoes.

“How’s the boyfriend?”

“… What boyfriend?”

You hid your smirk as everyone’s breath caught at your words, the silence that lasted half a beat deafening as you straightened up and made your way to the sofa to flop. Jisung was in shock, evident from the way his mouth gaped slightly at his loss for words, but his most guilt-tripping dream had finally come true.

The next few weeks was a true test of Jisung’s patience. He knew you, and despite your totally valid past complaining, he knew that you wouldn’t jump into a relationship with him immediately. However, despite the undertone of angst and anticipation that normally hung in the air around you two, it was more or less vaporised by Jisung’s hilarious and totally not-subtle flirting.

“You don’t understand Felix, Y/N used to be obsessed with Cody Simpson when we were in middle school.” Your best friend teased.

“So I liked blonde boys with Justin Bieber haircuts, sue me!” You laughed in response. The others laughed along with you, but not at what you had just said. Jisung was putting on an Oscar worthy performance of miming writing down this imperative information about your 12-year-old self’s ideal type, making a show of looking invested while you had your back to him.

You almost felt bad, your “mourning period” (as your best friend had called it) wasn’t nearly as depressing as you had anticipated. Frankly, you thought you’d be more of a wreck, but Jisung was making that nearly impossible, as not a day went by where you weren’t exposed to some of the worst pickup lines you had ever heard.

“If you were a transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine” Jisung exclaimed proudly, his eyebrows wriggling suggestively in an attempt to be smooth.

“Chris taught you that, didn’t he Jisung?” You deadpanned, trying not to laugh at his derpy face.

“I’m not Jisung right now… I’m Peter.” This caused you to choke out a laugh, the joke being that you’d only use his English name when he was being either a shameless fuck boy, or an absolute idiot. His chaotic alter ego, if you will.

The best part to come out of this was the freedom for being physically affectionate, the little voice in your head telling you to keep your distance finally silenced. There wasn’t time to feel upset about your long-term relationship coming to an end, not when you spent the time you would’ve been crying wrapped up in a blonde boy’s embrace, the rain pattering against the window as you indulged in some good true crime in your blanket nest. Jisung’s chest was the perfect pillow for your head, his arms that had become a lot more buff since he had been working out daily warm and secure around your form as you sprawled out half on top of him. You had no qualms about your questionable position when your eyes got heavy, the arduous all-nighter you had both committed to the night before finally taking its toll as you both napped to the sound of graphic murder on your laptop.

All of this went hand in hand with the previous consensus. You and Jisung were bound to get together. The question was simple- when?

This leads to the current situation. Now in March, it wasn’t long until you’d all be separating for the easter break, and so it was only appropriate to have one last meetup at one of the university’s bars and enjoy drinks for buy one get one free.

Walking out onto the balcony, you felt the mild breeze ruffle your hair a little, pulling your jacket around you tighter, you watched fondly as your friend did a little run to greet Felix with a hug and a sweet peck on the lips, you took your own time to walk over to the group of boys you were meeting.

As naturally as ever, your gaze met Jisung’s quickly, him sending you a little half smile as he moved his jacket to reveal an empty space on the bench beside him. Not wasting a moment, you sidled up next to him, already pulling out your phone to order your drinks and falling into easy conversation with the boy beside you. The others exchanged knowing glances, Changbin and Hyunjin rolling their eyes and laughing at how useless it was trying to engage you two in their chat when you were both engrossed in your own bubble.

The hours had slipped by; you barely noticed how dark it had gotten and the balcony was fully illuminated by the trendy twinkly lights that lined the perimeter. When the time had rolled from 10 pm to 11 pm, you all made the effort to grab your coats, down the last of the drinks and begin the dawdle back to your respective apartments.

Jisung knew his timing wasn’t great, but he couldn’t say goodbye to you for three weeks and twiddle his thumbs without at least trying to ask you out- officially. You were in no rush, walking and talking slowly to try and prolong the conversation you were having as you walked side by side along the river. Your laughter resonated along the busy street, the little alcohol in your system and Jisung’s usual funny self making your ribs ache with giggles.

The others were way ahead of you, and you felt your heart sink at the sight of your apartment building coming into view. You weren’t quite ready to say goodbye- though you could probably manage to visit each-other, and you would call and text, you would miss seeing Jisung every day. Your walk dwindled into a stand-still, the darkness making the campus buildings and various complexes look ten times prettier as they were illuminated, and Jisung held your hands tentatively.

The anticipation that you both felt continuously quickly built up, this time though, it felt like you had reached breaking point. The elastic band that was being stretched and stretched was about to snap, and your stomach flipped with adrenaline and fondness for the boy standing right in front of you.

“I have to tell you a secret, before I actually throw myself into the river.” Jisung chuckled, both his thumbs rubbing gentle circles into the back of your hand, his face a mixture of mirth and nerves.

“I’m listening.” You replied simply, trying to look sincere.

Jisung swiped his tongue over his lips quickly, daring to look you in the eyes for half a second before averting his gaze to the floor again. Clearly, “liquid courage” was the leading factor to his boldness the last time you were this close. You hoped Jisung didn’t need to be almost wasted in order to be as forward as he was before, the hot and heavy kiss you had shared previously wouldn’t be unwelcome in the near future. With a gentle squeeze to his warm hands did he finally gain a little confidence, his usual cheeky smile adorning his cute face once again and you braced yourself for what he had to say.

“I really, really like you.”

“Not really a secret though, is it?” You caught him off guard with your sass, his mouth gaping comically as you laughed at his expression, him still clinging to your hands. He couldn’t help but join in on your giggles though, your contagious laughter and easy-going personality made him wonder why he was so nervous in the first place.

“Whatever! Will you go out with me?” He asked, almost exasperatedly, now letting go of your hands and circling your waist instead, both of your bodies fitting together like a lock and key while you placed your hands on his shoulders.

“of course, I will.” You smiled, taking a moment to appreciate the way Jisung’s face lit up and the giant smile that broke out onto his features

Though it was cliché, it really felt like your “happily ever after” moment. In no time at all did you feel a familiar pair of lips make contact with yours, and a familiar hand trailing up your spine under your coat, coming to a halt at the base of your neck. You had the freedom to give into your instincts and clutch his jacket, pulling him in closer before allowing a hand to bury itself into his fluffy hair. You knew Jisung was never a fan of PDA, but it warmed your insides knowing that he apparently couldn’t wait until you were somewhere more private to do this. Honestly, you were so excited to start this relationship with him; he was already a best friend to you, and your connection had such a strong platonic foundation that meant he had the ability to make you laugh until you could pee whilst also making you a mess of butterflies and stutters. You smiled lightly when he pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, both of your faces flushed and lips swollen, you kept one hand interlocked as you tried to catch up with the others. Patience really was a virtue, it would seem, and Jisung couldn’t deny that it had paid off. No matter how much he felt tormented by your past relationship, he could sleep soundly at night with the knowledge that he would never have to be Mr Brightside ever again.

[skzhua]

'your eyes' series

synopsis: eight men, eight stories and a glimpse at their love lives.

genre: college!AU, inspired by 'your eyes' MV, genre depends on each story.

warnings: swearing (you know me by now, i can't help it), suggestive for some of them, all are female reader.

note: they can be read individually, but they are all interrelated.

note 2: click on the hearts to read!

status: complete.

a/n: am i currently rushing with school? yes. am i already working on 5 scenarios? yes. and yet am i making myself work even more? yes... i'm so excited for this series, though! i hope you'll love it as much as i do.

STRAY KIDS MASTERLIST

♡ "Come live with me."

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader.

genre: fluff, slice of life, neighbour!AU, suggestive.

word count: 9,321

warnings: swearing, cheesy asf.

summary: you've been living in the same apartment building for years now. everything has always been to your comfort; no noisy neighbour, no argument with the landlord, a cozy neighbourhood... when you've come to the realization you could not pay for your sweet home anymore, your friendly neighbour suggests a plan for you to stay. are you going to say no to the handsome man with many charms? of course not.

♡ "Do you trust me?"

pairing: bang chan x reader.

genre: fluff, a glimpse of angst, idiots-to-lovers.

word count: 8,659

warnings: swearing, drinking, slight angst, chan and reader are so oblivious (mostly reader).

summary: your first mistake was to major in music in college. your second mistake was to change classes and end up in bang chan's. your third was to accept his help to pass the class. your last mistake was to push him away.

♡ "This is disgustingly cute."

pairing: kim seungmin x reader.

genre: fluff, barista!AU.

word count: 7,904

warnings: swearing, your typical barista imagine.

summary: seungmin has seen you before, but he never bothered talking to you. in fact, he did not care about you. when you came in the coffee shop in distress, he decided to be a good person for once and to make you a caramel macchiato in hopes to help you calm down. surprise: you do not like caramel macchiato, but you do like the young barista.

♡ "Just one bite."

pairing: lee felix x reader.

genre: fluff, fluff, fluff (did i mention fluff?).

word count: 7,698

warnings: warnings, might cause a heart attack of cuteness.

summary: brownie boy was a myth for you. since the first day you have stepped in the campus, everybody would be praising brownie boy. you could not believe that a grown man was kind enough to be giving out free food, good food. when brownie boy heard about your suspicions, he was more than willing to prove you wrong.

♡ "I could use some company."

pairing: yang jeongin x reader.

genre: fluff, slight angst.

word count: 7,896

warnings: swearing, crying, mentions of mental breakdown, mentions of abuse, mentions of bullying.

summary: jeongin has one job: do the laundry. living with jisung who is a mess maker, he has no other choice but to be the responsible one of their dorm. waiting for the clothes to be dry, he hears cries, yours. how could you be so pretty even while crying?

♡ "I need to see it to believe it."

pairing: seo changbin x reader.

genre: fluff, slight angst.

word count: 8,589

warnings: swearing, suggestive, reader is lowkey mean in the beginning.

summary: hearing changbin telling your friend, hwayoung, that he is convinced he can organize a better date than the guy who ruined hers, you can only laugh at him. persuaded he can prove you otherwise, he bets he can make you fall for him by going out with him on a date. the competitive in you accepts.

♡ "I might be a fool too, then."

pairing: han jisung x reader.

genre: fluff, a bit of angst.

word count: 11,377

warnings: swearing, drinking, failed dates, suggestive.

summary: being your closest friend on campus, jisung has been through thick and thin with you, and so the opposite. thus, he has seen your multiple attempts at dating, your numerous failed dates and the guys who had never called you back. what can be any better than a night in with him to cheer you up?

♡ "You were the first person I thought of at the moment."

pairing: lee minho x reader.

genre: fluff, angst.

word count: 10,529

warnings: swearing, suggestive, unrequited love mentioned, minho being minho (savage and flirty).

summary: your relationship with minho has always been tricky. either he is roasting the shit out of you, or he is flirting with you shamelessly. when things start to get complicated with your childhood friend, chan, why is he the first one who come up in your mind?

taglist: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[facioleeknow]

The art of pleasure ch.1

Caress ° Bang Chan

When one girl in your class makes fun of you for being a virgin at a party, you are left distraught. It's only natural that you decide to whine about it to your best friend, Bang Chan; but he does more than lending a shoulder to cry on, he comes up with a solution. He and his 7 friends will help you and teach you all about the pleasure of the flesh. What could go wrong?

Genre: College AU, SMUT 18+ ONLY wc: 1431

Warnings: fraternity skz, inexperienced reader, experienced chan and stray kids, kissing, frat party, a bitch, insecurities

The art of pleasure masterlist

A/N: Hello, thank you so much for the support on this series!! This chapter is pretty tame BUT IT IS THE FIRST, so don't worry about it!! Channie girls don't worry he's gonna get some later ;)

Another semester. Another party at the only frat house on campus, it was nothing out of the ordinary. The usual room filled with flowing alcohol and the usual people, dancing to the usual songs. You’re sure it might be the idea of fun of some of the people that surrounded you but not yours, obviously not yours. That was why you were the only unusual thing in there. You weren’t a party animal, you weren’t so extroverted as to go to a party to have fun. Unfortunately it was also your best friend’s birthday who happened to be the president of the fraternity, so you really couldn’t have said no to his invitation. 

The scene in front of you shifted. A drunk girl started approaching you.

“Oh my god, Y/N! You’re here, I’m so happy to see you,” the girl, from one of your classes, threw her arms around you and squeezed tightly. The feeling of her foreign body pressed against yours made you shiver uncomfortably. 

“Oh, c’mon Y/Nnie, loosen up a little!” Alice said with a sly slime. Before you could commit murder in cold blood in front of your whole year, your two (out of three) friends pulled you away into a more secluded area of the room. In front of you laid a messy circle of people, intently focused on a spinning bottle.

‘Yuck’

“I can't believe people still play spin the bottle at their old age,” Shuhua mumbled as disgusted as you.

“You read my mind,Shu.”

“Omg Y/Nnie! You want to play spin the bottle? Wouldn't it be embarrassing tho? Since you're a virgin at your big age,” Alice fell into a fit of giggles, soon followed by her friends.

“God, she cannot be serious,” you whispered to your friends while you all collectively side-eyed the bitch. And that was exactly what she was, nothing other than a bitch. But then why was your face burning in shame and your heart racing? Why were your palms sweating so much? You shouldn't have been that affected but you were.

For the whole night you couldn’t help but think about Alice's words, because no matter how spiteful they were and how much of a bitch she was, they were also true. You were a virgin “at your big age”, but that had never bothered you until you had entered college. Never in your life had you seen so many people get involved with each other and in some ways you felt pushed aside and in the dark about this magical new world that everybody had already discovered, everybody but you. 

The red solo cup in your hands wrinkled slightly under your fingertips as you squeezed it. You shouldn’t have been thinking about those things, why were you hyperfocusing right now?

“You’re supposed to collect the cups, babygirl, not strangle them,”a masculine voice pulled you out of your train of thoughts. Bang Chan, the birthday boy and your best friend. You and Chan had known each other since your first year of college, he had saved you from making a fool out of yourself the first day and walked you to your lecture hall. Since then he had stuck by your side and helped you make some new friends even if you were extremely picky with people.

“Ew, Christopher, I told you not to call me that,” you grimaced at the cringey name. He just giggled.

“I know, but I like annoying you too much,” another giggle. A small smile threatened to break your “angry” facade, this carefree side of him was a rare sight and the fact that he was showing it to you was making you giddy.

His warm hands snatched the trash bag away from you before clasping around your smaller ones. 

“Seriously, what is going on?”

Lying wasn’t an option, he was way too observant for his own good, he always knew when you lied even when you didn’t yourself. You scoffed.

“Just something Alice said,'' and with that you tried to grab the bag from behind him to resume your job. No movement, he had an iron grip on you.

“What did she say?”

“Just her usual nagging, you know how she is,” you tugged and tried to get away from his grip to no avail.

“Tell me,” he wasn’t asking and that was obvious to the both of you.

“She said that it’s embarrassing to be a virgin at my big age.”

Chan finally let your hands fall to your sides and in exchange wrapped his arms around you and squished you against his chest.

“Bitch, she shouldn’t have been here, she wasn’t invited,” his chest rumbled with his words, “I’m sorry Y/N, I hope you know she’s in the wrong.” 

With your arms wrapped around Chan and your face squished against his chest, with the gentleness of his voice caressing you, you found it hard to lie so you just stayed silent.

“Oh baby, don’t think about it, okay? She’s wrong and there is nothing wrong with you. Let’s go to bed, I can clean up tomorrow morning.”

For the whole night you tossed and turned with always the same thought in you mind, hoping not to wake Chan who was sleeping soundly next to you for once.It was no surprise that early in the morning you felt exhausted, your limbs were heavy and your mind was foggy, but you still couldn’t fall asleep. 

“Did you sleep at all? I heard you move around a lot,” Christopher groaned next to you, his arm lazily draped over your middle.

“Sorry,” you tried to utter in your half dead state.

“I had an idea while I was sleeping,” he dragged your body against his and started to gently rub your arm to ease you to sleep. You only hummed in response.

“You should let me and the kids teach you about sex, you know us and we’re good people, we would never push you to do anything. We can take anything at your own pace, we’ll teach you well,” he spoke like he was saying the most natural thing in the world and not suggesting you get passed between him and his other seven friends. Sensing your confusion, Chan gently shushed you and started rubbing your arm again.

“Think about it, we can talk about it when you wake up.”

A witty response was about to come out of your mouth but darkness enveloped you like a hug. Chan hugged you tighter to his chest and sighed. ‘That went well’, he thought.

When you woke up, a blinding light was filtering through the window. Damn Christopher who never closed the blinds.

“Good morning,” the said man chirped happily from next to you. The moment you laid your eyes on him, the conversation from that morning resurfaced to your mind. The frantic beating of your heart sent a shot of adrenaline through you.

“I take it you remember what I asked you,” he put his phone back on his nightstand to fully give you his attention.

“Chris..” you started but he swiftly interrupted you.

“We’re not doing it out of pity, we are all attracted to you, we wouldn’t make it awkward and if you refuse it’s gonna be like it never happened,” Chris answered all of your questions like he could read your mind. You were confused, your heart (and your vagina) wanted to say yes but your head told you to refuse. 

‘Fuck it, stop thinking.’

“Okay, let’s do it.” Chris stayed silent, only your synced breaths could be heard in the room. The tension was thick and full of desire.

“Can I kiss you, pretty girl? Just a kiss and you can stop me anytime you want.”

“Yes, please.” With that Chris  pulled you in his lap in mere seconds and attached your lips together. He wasted no time and pushed his tongue in your mouth, still his movements were gentle and slow just like yours were slow and hesitant. His whole persona dripped in gentle dominance, it made you hot and sweat and made your pussy throb. His hands roamed your body and tentatively groped around, testing your limits. Your lips moved more and more confidently the more time they were attached to Chan’s.

Your lungs burned from the lack of air but you didn’t care, you were drunk on his touch, his taste, you were drunk on him.

Chan was the first to break the kiss and immediately giggled when you tried to kiss him again.

“Patience baby, we have a lot of time.”

Taglist:

@kflixnet  @hann1bee  @bahng-chrizz  @staysinbloom  @laylasbunbunny @caitlyn98s

[straylightdream]

The SSFW Timeline

Here is a timeline of when stories take place in my college au series. Some drabble or other parts could be added, so this could change some. All stories can be found here with the full masterlist. If you want to be tagged in any future installments please fill out this form.

Key: if there is a { / } it means they’re happening at the same time.

Strawberry Latte - Jisung / Open Mind - Changbin

I Think I Like You - Chan

Lover of Mine - Minho / Trust Fund Baby - Hyunjin

If You’re Too Shy - Changbin

About You - Felix (coming soon) / See You Later - Minho (coming soon)

Paper Rings - Chan (coming soon)

Hopeful Romantic - Jeongin (coming soon)

Bad Liar - Seungmin (coming soon)

Sudden Desire - Minho

[daceydeath]

Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 8)

Pairing: Felix x Reader Word Count: 4.7 Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, Swearing, Explicit Activities, Alcohol

He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in, the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to hate him his persistence and hidden softer side just could be your undoing.

Managing to sneak into your shared apartment unnoticed you saw that both Seungmin and Jeongin's shoes were just abandoned in the entryway making you think they must have been at least more than tipsy when they got home the night before and from the lack of noise as you crept down the hallway it looked like they had not yet surfaced which helped you to relax and return to your room to quickly shower and change your clothes. By the time you had reemerged from your room and settled on the couch with a cup of coffee you could hear the sounds of bumping furniture and groans coming from one of the bedrooms which from the cursing that followed you recognized as Jeongin.

"Morning sunshine" you teased as his fluffy haired frowning face came around the corner into the kitchen, eyes scrunched up to protect him from the light.

"M’ning" he groaned, barely able to focus on you and he bumped straight into the cupboard he was trying to open to get a glass.

"How hard did you guys go last night?" you laughed silently getting up to help him get water and painkillers in his rather useless state “looks like it was a big one”.

"Seung and Minho had a drinking contest so he was fuuucked and I was playing beer pong and lost.... a lot" he smiled weakly taking the water and pills from you.

"I'll take some water and painkillers into Seung then and check he is still alive" you nodded knowing that they would have been so messy last night that they probably just passed out once they got into bed not noticing that you weren't home.

Taking a bottle of water into Seungmin's room you noticed he was still totally dressed from the night before and just laying on his front so you left the packet of tablets and the water on the bed side table and put your hand on his back to make sure he was in fact still breathing.

"Not dead, just wanna be" Seung's very croaky voice came from somewhere under his hood and bed head hair.

"Just checking, there's something to help" you smiled, patting his head and walking back out to the lounge room. Your phone chimed so you fished it out of your pocket to see who was texting you, only to hear more loud swearing from the kitchen as Jeongin spilled his coffee all over the counter and began wiping it up begrudgingly making you giggle again. Stepping around him you helped him pour another cup.

When can I see you again baby? I already miss you. 

You read the message and grinned at the butterflies that were now filling your stomach, and were starting to make you feel a little giddy. Felix always knew how to make you feel like a silly little school girl without any effort at all.

"What are you smiling at?" Jeongin asked, screwing his eyes up as he walked into the brighter side of the room clutching the coffee in his hands tightly.

"Just funny memes" you lied easily knowing he was too hungover to challenge you anyway.

"Oh you free tonight?" He blurted suddenly louder than you expected as the thought popped into his head.

"Yes.... why?" you blinked recovering from the jump scare he had just unintentionally delivered to your system.

"Dinner, all of us, tonight" he looked up at the ceiling like he was trying to remember all the facts he needed to tell you. "So like us, Chan, Changbin and Han, maybe the whore club at 8 but I forget where".

"I can do dinner but maybe give me Chan's number so I can text him for the details" you chuckled slightly at how much Jeongin was struggling to function "Then go back to bed Innie I'll order us food for lunch that you can eat when you wake up again".

"Thank you, you are the fucking best you know that? Plus hot you're also hot" he mumbled giving you his unlocked phone and shuffling back to his bedroom. You opened his contacts scrolling through until you found Chan's number then added it to your phone, also copying out Changbin's and Han's contacts in case Chan was in the same position that Innie was in.

“When did the agreement between you and Seung to tell me I look hot or cute or whatever happen?” you asked in confusion, after his retreating figure but he totally ignored you disappearing into the darkness of his room.

Are you and the guys coming to dinner tonight? 

You quickly texted to Felix before composing a text that didn't seem too random or confusing to Chan, in case he too was as under the weather as your two roommates. His reply came back pretty quickly giving you the details and being amazed that you had actually even spoken to either of your severely hungover friends.

The thing at Chan’s? Yeah we're going. We will have to sneak off so I can kiss you again baby

The images that your mind created of the two of you sneaking off had a flush creeping across your cheeks and down your neck as you read Felix’s reply. You would have to make sure that if you could sneak away you would and then it hit you that if you snuck away with Felix it would essentially be lying to your friends and the guilt began to set in. Not telling either Seungmin or Jeongin was essentially lying by omission and that made you a terrible friend in your mind at least, friends don't willingly lie to their friends about things like this.

Going back into your room you started up on some homework that you knew you should have been getting done but had left for a few days. If you were going to use the too busy to come home because of schoolwork excuse you needed to get as far ahead as possible so it was believable. You knew the two small tests you had at the start of the semester were going to be easy you had been prepared for them before they were announced knowing that they were also only a mock partial exams helped too since you could, hopefully ace them, and make your parents think you were now back in the top position in each of your classes. You also knew you needed to finish the last draft of a major assignment so that you wouldn’t have to deal with the stress later. By the time lunch time rolled around and you were hungry the others still hadn’t ventured out of their rooms so you ordered as much fried chicken as you could knowing that they would be happy to eat it left over if they didn’t surface when they smelt it. 

You pulled out some clothes to wear for the dinner and put them on the end of your bed, you knew you didn’t need to dress up to go the Chan’s apartment so you just grabbed some jeans that were a little tight around your butt and a slightly cropped top to that it would look like you hadn’t made no effort but you weren’t hoping to impress anyone. The buzzer from the door camera let you know the chicken had arrived and you went down to get it hoping that you would feel less nervous about what would happen later that evening. As you had predicted Seungmin managed to surface as the smell of fresh hot fried chicken followed you up the hallway and Jeongin followed suit sitting down at the table while you got them a hangover cure each and yourself a juice.

“Fried chicken, top choice” Seungmin smiled, taking a drumstick and tearing into it like a starving caveman making you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Again the best” Jeongin agreed, picking up his own piece but not shoving it in his mouth quite as enthusiastically as Seungmin.

“I texted Chan and it's 8 o’clock tonight and their apartment” you informed both of them “I said you were both in but you can text him if you don’t want to go”.

You showered and started getting ready, your preplanned outfit and basic makeup to make you like nice but not too out of the ordinary, finally throwing Felix’s hoodie over your outfit so that you would be warm on the way there and also so you smell his scent without actually being close to him. If Seungmin or Jeongin noticed that it was a different hoodie they didn’t say anything but you did often wear super comfortable clothes which did annoy Jeongin at least to no end, so another large hoodie was nothing to take note of. Jeongin drove, having been sure that he was not going to have any alcohol left in his system and you sat in the back watching the buildings go by until you got to Chan’s. Knocking on his door, you waited with the boys watching the last of the colored traces of the day fade into the inky darkness of dusk, you suddenly realized that this must be what it was like to be normal, have a normal social life and a normal set of friends. It caused a small ache in your chest suddenly like you had missed out on something very important but it also gave you a rush of fondness for the two boys standing either side of you leaning on either the stair railing or the wall beside the door.

“Oh you two aren’t dead! Well done” Han laughed as he let you all in, listening to Seungmin grumble something under his breath as you slipped off your shoes “I’m glad you could make it tonight” He grinned at you turning his attention away from the others.

“Hi Han” you smiled back following him up the hallway to the lounge.

“The princess and her two trolls are here” Han announced as you turned into the kitchen waving to everyone else that was there. Changbin chuckled as whatever Jeongin called from down the hallway was muffled by the sounds of the six guys already milling about talking. Felix's eyes were already on you when you looked towards them, his lips turning up at the corners making you subconsciously bite your lower lip in response. 

“Pleased you actually got the message about tonight” Chan shook his head at the teasing that was already ramping up.

“Thanks for inviting me Chan” you replied, making your way around the kitchen to the other side of the island bench trying not to stare at Felix as you went.

“Hello kitten” Minho smirked as you sat yourself on one of the bar stools making you roll your eyes at him.

“Minho, you seem to be in pretty good shape considering you tried to kill Seung last night” you raised your eyebrows at him finally noticing the identical looks of mischief on both he and Hyunjin’s faces.

“Aw, didn’t know you cared so much” he teased, easily making Feix’s jaw clench and you rub your temples in faux annoyance and Jeongin came and sat down next to you placing a drink in front of you.

“Ignore Captain fucks-a-lot” he sighed sticking his tongue out and Minho.

“Rude” Minho laughed playfully, punching Jeongin and going to grab a beer from the fridge.

“We're just getting pizza. Is that good for you?” Chan asked, drawing your attention away from the others.

“That’s perfect. As long as it doesn’t come with a side of anyone's psycho ex” you quipped making Han and Seungmin burst into laughter.

“Yeah I can assure you the place we get our pizzas from doesn’t have that” Chan beamed, seeming much happier that you were comfortable enough to be cracking jokes. 

“When are you coming out to party with us again?” Changbin asked loudly, his voice easily blocking out the others.

“Um, I don’t know” you shrugged “I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to babysit me” you pointedly looked and Seungmin then Jeongin.

“Hey! we have cause, Felix had to rescue you last time” Seungmin challenged playfully.

“Yeah then had to sit through accusations of having sexy eyes by Innie” you gestured with your thumb to the boy to your right.

“When did I say that?” Jeongin yelped, completely confused.

“While you were staring at the ceiling I think” you recounted “you slurred something about why the fuck was Felix in the apartment, something about me being off limits and no sexy eyes then Seung had to help you get to bed” 

“All of that is in fact true bro”Seungmin confirmed as more laughter filled the room.

“Well I don’t remember it so it didn’t happen” Jeongin sulked, pouting slightly. Chan ordered the pizzas on his phone and got everyone more drinks, turning on the TV to pass time until all the food arrived. You noticed how close Hyunjin and Minho were to Felix and how annoyed he seemed to be at them so you just kept your distance and subtly watched them trying to figure out what was up. Feeling a little warm with all the scrutiny you slipped Felix’s hoodie over your head laying it on your lap until you could put it somewhere safe, you didn’t notice the look that Felix gave you as your shirt rode up or the fact that all the others had seen slightly more of you than you had planned.

“So what are you doing this week? Want to come hang out with us?” Changbin asked, clearing his throat and breaking you away from another glance at Felix. 

“I’m back at work next week but you can always come by and hang out there if you come around my break” you looked from him to Han who were both sitting on the other lounge to you.

“Did those bitches get expelled too?” Felix interrupted, confusing just about everyone else.

“Yes, both of them did. You don’t have to worry Felix no one is throwing hot coffee on me” you sighed heavily frowning lightly.

“Hold the fuck up what?” Han spat his voice harsher than normal as he looked between you and Felix.

“Two of Nali’s friends had planned to throw coffee on me at work, they were reported to the police and they were part of the group expelled so it’s fine. It’s over now” You explained biting on the inside of your cheek.

“Well we will definitely drop by the cafe then so we can keep an eye out” Chagbin nodded, his tone turning serious and Han and Chan both looked concerned.

“That old guy at the convenience store was right. I do have far too many bodyguards” you groaned, a loud knocking on the front door indicating that the food had arrived and you were being saved from furthering the conversation about how Felix knew this and some of the others didn’t. Lining all the pizzas up in the kitchen you all grabbed plates and helped yourself going back into the lounge to eat Chan putting a movie on in the background to fill the silence of you all chewing.

“Forgot to mention princess” Hyunjin grinned slyly “You looked extra cute in that hoodie”.

“Um, thank you Hyunjin” you answered slowly, looking at him suspiciously, noting that Minho raised his eyebrows suggestively from where he sat next to him.

“I swear I’ve seen one like that before” Minho added Hyunjins smirk growing and Felix who was now sitting at the end of the lounge beside Han and Changbin narrowed his eyes deliberately making you catch on finally to where they were going with the compliments, your stomach dropping at the realization that they both knew, because of course they knew, they lived with Felix they would recognize his clothes and here you were wearing it in front of them like an idiot.

“I imagine because it isn’t the only one in existence” you shot back hoping to sound sarcastic not panicked.

“What are you two up to?” Seungmin snapped at them, making them dissolve into knowing chuckles.

“Fuckers” Felix muttered quietly gritting his teeth.

“Idiots” Han rolled his eyes “So what kind of hours do you actually work? Can we just come hang out?”

“Oh yeah you can come by and just stay for as long as you want” you grinned toothily happy for something to change the conversation “I’m on pretty much every afternoon for the next week so starting at 2 finishing at 7. So I guess we could grab dinner one night instead if that was easier for you guys too” you mused thinking as you pulled out your phone to check if anything else was on your schedule.

“Absolutely” Chan nodded “That sounds like a good idea for us all to hang out without too much organizing”.

“And Seung and I can keep an eye out for you” Jeongin added, looking at you seriously.

“I swear you are more protective than my dad” you grumbled playfully making both Seungmin and Jeongin flush with embarrassment.

You continued talking about stupid stuff all only partially concentrating on the movie that was still playing in the background and eating until you felt like you couldn’t eat anything else. It was just another standard superhero movie so the fight scenes and graphics were easy to get lost in. Excusing yourself to the bathroom you made your way up the stairs phone in your hand as it chimed with a text.

God you looked so good in my hoodie baby ;) Just want you all to myself

You couldn’t help the spark that shot through you at Felix’s words chewing your lip. You thought about how forward you wanted to be when you responded.

I like wearing your clothes Lix, I like feeling like I’m yours.

You took a huge breath before you pressed send hoping that he would respond to that in a good way and not think you were being too much of a tease, even though part of you knew he would never think that considering how much you had already made him wait to even touch you let alone kiss you.

Fuck baby are you trying to get me to kiss you? because that is exactly how you get that to happen saying things like that.

You swallowed hard, Felix probably looked totally indifferent as they all say around drinking beer and matching the movie while you were standing in the bathroom looking like a tomato had decided to replace your face. Holding your hands under the cold running water you pressed them to your cheeks to try to calm yourself down. A soft knock made you freeze on the spot.

“It's just me baby” Felix chuckled quietly, almost sensing your dilemma. Letting out the breath you were holding you opened the door for him to find him leaning against the door frame looking devilishly handsome. 

“Hi” you whispered as he stepped into the bathroom, instantly sliding his hands around your waist, his fingers brushing against your skin agonizingly slowly, before pulling you against his chest pausing to let you decide what happened next. Leaning into him you brushed your lips against his tentatively feeling him smile against your lips. 

“You are definitely going to be the death of me” he murmured, kissing you needily pulling a soft moan from you as his teeth tugged on your bottom lip. Pulling away from him gently you backed out of the bathroom hoping no one would be any the wiser leaving him to shut the door behind him.

“You know I will never understand why girls take so long in the bathroom” Hyunjin smirked as you finally returned to the lounge and slipped back into the seat you had been occupying.

“I’m pretty sure it’s because we have better hygiene” you quipped looking at Hyunjin expectantly only for the others to laugh and whatever comeback he had to die on his tongue. Felix returned a couple of minutes later going to the fridge to get another drink.

“So I heard through a couple of girls that you are claiming to have a girlfriend, Lix. What the fuck is with that?” Han asked mockingly, making the others all laugh.

“Really? Is that because they came to you after I turned them down” Felix smirked, one eyebrow raised challenging Han.

“Are you going through our sloppy seconds Hannie?” Minho jeered, laughing at Han’s shocked face.

“Hardly sloppy seconds if she got rejected, is it?” Seungmin asked, brow furrowed in faux confusion.

“Even worse she’s bad enough to get turned down by Lix and you can’t even get her” Hyunjin cackled, throwing his head back.

“Who said she turned me down? But that isn’t what I was asking” Han pushed leaning towards Felix as though he expected an answer.

“Wow I’m gone for 5 minutes and were being mysoginists and slut shaming nice one boys” you screwed your nose up in slight disgust.

“Slut shaming?” Changbin parroted looking at you for an answer.

“You know most women love being referred to as sloppy seconds. It really makes us feel loved and respected” you replied deadpaned crossing your arms across your chest.

“Oh shit yeah, sorry about that” Han sheepishly scratched the back of his neck apologetically.

“I don’t care where any of you stick your dicks, as long as they aren’t psychos, but can you not be so gross in front of me?” you asked with slight disgust in your voice.

“You are right, of course we will be respectful from now on,” Chan promised, genuinely making the others murmur apologies to you and dropping the subject all together for the moment. As the night continued on you yawned your head falling back against the back of the lounge with a soft thud.

“We should get you home” Jeongin interrupted, patting your shoulder lightly. Both he and Seungmin had decided not to drink, which you were thankful for because you didn’t really want to have to visit them in hospital with alcohol poisoning.

“I’m alright Innie, we can stay as long as you want” you smiled lolling your head towards him. “Besides it’s nice to be here and not be puking with stress that a random lunatic has caused" making him grin at you.

Seungmin pulled you to your feet, stopping you from collecting the last of the plates scattered around the room and walked you towards the kitchen with Jeongin behind you. You waved around Jeongin's shoulders before stepping into the hallway and getting your shoes to go home. It had been a really nice evening. You had fun hanging out with them and nothing bad had happened which you felt was a huge success considering your previous visit to Chan’s place. Watching the streetlights pass the car window, your drooping eyelids were interrupted by your phone chiming and Seungmin and Jeongin’s conversation from the front seats. 

Goodnight baby, I miss you already ;) 

You typed back knowing that Felix wouldn’t be able to avoid the questions the others had now that you were away from them but that he could talk his way out of just about anything you had seen him do just that before, throwing out something else that could be used to take the piss out of one of the others to avoid having to admit anything .

Goodnight Lix

“So do you reckon the girlfriend thing is a cover to try to keep himself out of trouble? Or do you think there is some poor girl he’s leading on because she’s not bright enough to know what he’s like?” Jeongin asked Seungim, turning his head to look at him, his face red from the brightness of the traffic light in front of you.

“I’d like to think it's the former to be honest. Hyunjin said he got chewed out by the university head after the stuff with Nali so using it as an excuse to keep other loons away is a good cover” Seungmin shrugged checking the traffic before turning. 

“There is a third option though but to be fair I don’t even want to entertain the idea” Jeongin sighed, checking the mirror on the back of his visor to look at you while you looked at your phone pretending to be oblivious to the conversation they were having.

“I thought of that too and I’ll be honest I don’t love the idea but we can do anything about it either way” Seungmin muttered still staring out at the traffic around you.

“I know but I worry” Jeongin sighed. “What if it turns out like last time?”. Silence filled the car and you figured the conversation must be over so you leaned against the car window shutting your eyes.

“It’s not the same situation, and Felix isn’t Hyunjin” Seungmin finally conceded, making you wonder what the hell they were talking about. You stayed in the position you were in until your phone chimed again making you frown as you opened the message.

Baby. I’m sorry Hyunjin recognized the hoodie and told Minho so they have figured it out. Well they think they have figured it out.

The feeling that bloomed in your stomach was not easy to identify, it wasn’t fear and it wasn’t worry it was something else, making you wonder did you actually care if people knew you were dating Felix? Was what was happening between you even dating?. You could tell from the way Seungmin and Jeongin spoke they were referring to you and Felix just now but they didn’t seem angry, they seemed concerned or even a little bit unwilling to accept that perhaps there was something between you. 

Your thoughts were jumbled, what if the revelation of you and Felix being together made people think that there had been some truth to what Nali has said about you? Or what if by some bizarre set of circumstances your parents found out and had you pulled from university? There was no way that you could imagine that they would realistically find out, no one from home knew what you were even studying let alone what your personal life was like and none of the guys would rat you out to parents they knew treated you badly. Remaining deep in thought you missed the following messages that he sent, not even realizing until you were in your room 20 minutes later.

They won’t tell the others if you’re scared of their reactions, baby. They wouldn’t hurt you like that.

I’m willing to tell everyone we’re together if that’s what you want.

I know this is new to you, I don’t want to push you baby.

Are you overthinking again? 

I’m guessing from the silence you are, I'll give you some time then.

Staring at the messages you weren't sure how to react. You had been on one date with Felix. You had kissed him a handful of times and you had shared a bed when you had gotten caught in the rain. But the futhest he had gotten with you was making out and he had even apologized about moving to fast when you had. But the fact that he had called you his girlfriend and told you repeatedly he was serious about you didn’t change thee fact that neither of you had actually discussed it, he had told you he had said it to make girls feel less hurt when he turned them down and when he said it to you it was always unserious.

Felix, am I your girlfriend? Is that what this is? Or are you still just saying that to let other girls down gently?

You washed up and changed into some pajamas so you were ready to go to bed while you waited for him to reply with anxiety gripping at your chest as you waited for the little dots to show he was typing.

Will you give me that chance? I only want you no one else matters to me just you.

Before you could answer Felix you needed to know why Seungmin and Jeongin were comparing you and Felix to their previous roommate and Hyunjin and why it was some kind of sticking point for them and since you weren’t sure if you would get the full story from them you knew you would need to ask some of the others or even Felix before you could make a decision.

A/N: Thank you for reading my lovelies as always your support means the world to me xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout, @mrsseals16, @honey-pop, @fawnpeaks, @leeknowinggg, @uno7, @seungminluv3, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @thicccurls @juskz @3rachasninja @reiheis @partyparty-yah @leeknowyah @warren-thedarkangel

[bias-fan]

PERFECT [baseball player!kim seungmin x only fans creator female!reader]

[15: blocked and friends]

[masterlist] [previous] [next]

synopsis: being an onlyfans creator in college is hard sometimes, getting innuendo comments thrown at you, that’s what kitty deals with but ignores it. she meets seungmin by accident, a baseball hitting her face. he knows who she is because of his friends.

[maeleelee]

Liquor Lips

PC x Skz!Frat Boys.

Feel free to replace your name with one from the crew, Mae and Minho are the main characters in this story.

Sleeping with him was a mistake, but telling him about her feelings for the guy her best friend likes was what she regrets the most. Now she's stuck doing everything he says in fear that if she doesn't, he'll tell everyone and her friendship will be ruined.

⚠️minors DO NOT interact⚠️

Warnings: there will be partying, sex, drink, drugs, drama to the max, fights, rumors, and more in this AU.

Crew || Frat Boys || CheerSquad

Prologue

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter six

Chapter seven

Chapter eight

Chapter nine

Chapter ten

Chapter eleven

Chapter twelve

Chapter thirteen

Chapter fourteen

Chapter fifteen

Chapter sixteen

Chapter seventeen

Chapter eighteen

Chapter nineteen

Chapter twenty

Chapter twenty one

Chapter twenty two

Chapter twenty three

Chapter twenty four

Chapter twenty five

Chapter twenty six

Chapter twenty seven

Chapter twenty eight

Chapter twenty nine

Chapter thirty