#never thought i would be making a 4 chan comic but here we are

[inuminumz]

haha stans gay awakening or something

[bluewhitehues]

Hug | Kim Mingyu

Summary: You secretly like your bestfriend chan,he has no idea and sets you up on a blind date with his friend and hyung Mingyu.

Genre: Angst? (Little bit), comfort, strangers to lovers, fluff

Pairing : Idol Kim Mingyu × (f) reader

Part 4

It was Sunday. The boys have their practice today that means mingyu and chan are going to meet. As soon as Mingyu goes to the practice room he spots chan but chan tries to avoid him lingering by seokmins side.

"YOU you fuvker come here right now-"

Mingyu tries to grab him while Chan's shoving a confused seokmin in between them he's asking what's this about ,what happened.

"This bastard told me he'd set me up on a date with y/n, turns out he told her it's a blind date instead of telling her it's a date with me"

"Ah hyuuung.. come on I tried my best for you two I had no other way i thought this would be the best option" chan whined

"Yah dino-ya that isn't nice, think about how he must've felt he was so excited to go" Seokmin scolds chan.

"Exactly my point ...what best option chan, did you even think about me? I thought she agreed on a date because she likes me as well ..did you think my feelings were a joke? Or am I that desperate that you'd have to lie to her for a date ? If I had known I'd find some other way to do it myself do you think I couldn't ask her myself? " Mingyu asks.. there's hurt clear in his eyes.

Chan feels terrible now his voice gets small when he speaks ,"hyung I'm so sorry...I should have thought about you more I didn't think that far, trust me I just wanted you two to get along and may be like each other cause you both are so precious to me and you both are one of the most amazing people I know ...I swear I just thought about your happiness."

Mingyu sighs," you shouldn't have done that but it's ok I forgive you."

He can't stay mad at his little brother for long anyway.

Chan hugs him suddenly, he really does feel very bad, "I'm sorry again hyungg you know I love you right?"

Mingyu pats his back while rolling his eyes, but he's smiling, "yeah yeah I love you too but never pull such stunts again."

Meanwhile there's jeonghan, hoshi and basically all the boys staring at them, they heard everything obviously.

"so you went on a date? That too with y/n ? And you didn't tell us?" Seungkwan speaks for everyone while they are nodding along with him waiting for mingyu to answer.

"It was a first date I didn't know what will happen ofcourse I was going to tell you all if it all worked out-" chan cuts him off, talking with his eyes widened, "wait a minute..it didn't go well?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then? " Chan asks again.

"I mean uh she was pretty shocked ..she didn't think it'd be me , so I didn't want to make her anymore uncomfortable, so we just talked normally, we went out for a walk then I dropped her off ."

"THAT'S IT??" Chan asked his eyes comically wide.

"uh yeah like I didn't want to burden her so I said we can be friends."

At this, they all collectively facepalm themselves.

"Seriously mingyu??? FRIENDS???" hoshi says looking at mingyu like he's ridiculous.

Jeonghan also steps in, "yeah like it was a date right? no romantic lovey dovey thing happened? Instead of asking her for another date you asked her to be friends?"

"You didn't even try to flirt with her or something? " Says Seungcheol.

"I did all this for nothing then" chan says in disbelief.

Mingyu closes his eyes, rubbing his hand on his forehead frustratingly at their questions. "Can you all just drop it please? I'll manage by myself thank you."

"yeah just lets get back to practice." Wonwoo says rubbing mingyu's back comfortingly.

Then they go on with their day.

And you, You're enjoying your weekend resting at home. When you get Chan's text.

Dinosaur 🦖: So you frienzoned mingyu hyung??

You: WHAT??? He said that??

You're confused Mingyu wouldn't do that, would he?

Dinosaur 🦖: No he said you were shocked,he didn't want to make you uncomfortable so he suggested you can be just friends.

Dinosaur 🦖: But hello I'm disappointed?? I even planned your wedding in my head and what did you do? You frienzoned each other 🤐🤐👏🏻👏🏻just great

You: woah woah no one told you to get that excited buddy and definitely not on a date which you planned by lying

Dinosaur 🦖: Pleaseee I said I'm sorry and don't make me feel more guilty I was already about to cry if mingyu hyung didn't forgive me...I don't think I can ever trouble him again even jokingly

You: was it that bad? Is he ok?

You can't help but feel bad thinking about him.

Dinosaur 🦖: well it's all my fault.. but girl atleast now you take some effort 🙄 I've found you such a great match and you're gonna keep him as your friend??

Dinosaur 🦖: God y/n even god wouldn't forgive such a thing.. I hate to say it but girls would die to be at your place right now.. GAME UPPPP I will even give you tips on how to flirt if you want

You roll your eyes at that.

You: Oh please I'm great at flirting you're the last person I'd take help from, you've done enough just go and focus on your practice for now..byeee

Dinosaur 🦖: BYE🙄🤐

Your thoughts take you to Mingyu again, "he must be hurt", "should I talk to him?", "what if he thinks I'm pitying him."

Your train of thoughts get interrupted by another ping of your phone , you pick it up to see mingyu's name on it.

On the other hand, Mingyu promises himself that he won't be sad anymore cause what is there to be sad about right? He's always the one who thinks about the brighter side of the situation, everyone says he's just too positive and hopeful even in the worst situations but Mingyu takes pride in that .. cause not many people have it, it takes a lot to be that positive,that courageous, that happy. So he's just gonna be himself.

Cause before yesterday, First- he didn't have your number, Second-you weren't on talking basis/you had zero connection, Three- He didn't have you even as a friend.. so for him it's win is a win kind of situation.

You read his text.

Mingyu : Heyy ..so chan asked me something about your purse??

You: oh shitt I forgot to tell you ..I lied about that to get your number from him 🫢

Mingyu: well don't worry I covered for you, you owe me something now👀 ..also should've asked me for my number directly, I'm more than willing to give it to you.

ONE THING ABOUT MINGYU IS HE WILL FLIRT, and your heart will suffer . Well in his defence he said you will be friends...there was no part where he mentioned he won't flirt or he won't try to woo you. So it seems you just gotta prepare yourself.

You huff at his reply, you started talking to him just from yesterday but you already got to know that this boy was a flirt ..a smooth one at that.

And were you feeling giddy, were you blushing? Well may be

You: Oh I'd have definately..asked it by myself. But you see it was an eventful day so kind of forgot to ask ...also yes I do owe you a big one, for yesterday as well ..tell me what I can do ? How about a meal?

Mingyu: Wouldn't that be a date?

You: it'd be whatever we will treat it as ..we said we'd be friends so it'll be us trying to build our friendship may be? Come on friends go to eat together all the time

Mingyu: Fair enough then, when will we go ?

You: Um I've work from tomorrow i'd be only free at dinner time 😕 is next week ok? If yes let me know when you're available

Mingyu: oh that's sad:( .. okay will go next week I'll let you know the time.

You: okayy cool ..see you then :)

Mingyu: Yes take care :))

You don't know but he's smiling at his phone right now, just as you are :)

In evening you meet chan he had promised you a meal so he's here at your apartment with lots of take out food and cake and muffins.

His practice was almost a day long so you had told him to just go home and take rest you'll plan to meet some another time . But he improvised the plan and came here.

You take all the food from him happily smiling looking at it..."Woahh you brought so much food"

He gives a toothy grin to you, "well I know you, I knew it'd keep you occupied "

You instantly stopped smiling and blinked at him ,"oh damn you almost had me distracted" you blink at him again.

He knows something is going to happen now, he is on alert..Then you're placing all the food down on the table, going to the couch grabbing a pillow andddddd he is running then, you run behind him.

"You asshole I promised myself i'd beat you up stop right there you bratttt"

He's screaming when you reach him and hit him with the pillow, "Ahhhhh this feels like some deja vu" he's running again and then going behind couch, giving those puppy eyes ..."I'm hungry" blink blink "I'm so tired and I was dancing the whole day, I'm so exhausted already and you're not even letting me eat I said sorry now stopp"

Your mouth hangs open at his antics..you huff..."Should learn emotional blackmailing from you ,go and wash your hands I'll get the plates"

He gives you a big big bright smile and runs to give you a quick hug before going to wash his hands.

You smile at him shaking your head.

You guys eat your food while talking.

He keeps asking about the date, so you tell him that it kinda got ruined because you were nervous so to make it up to Mingyu you decide to take him out for a meal .. he's teasing you about how it's a date when you keep denying it isn't.

"I don't know about you but on our planet here we humans call it a date" he says smugly.

You roll your eyes at him "whatever chan it's a friendly date then."

He shakes his head at you, saying you're impossible.

"Btw do you remember yunjin?"

"yeah the girl you're currently seeing ?"

"Yeah her...I think it's going to work out for me this time." He's smiling softly at his plate like he's thinking about her..."She's nice".

"woah woah look at you all blushing Lee chan"

He laughs," I just- I really hope it works out this time .. I've always wanted a serious relationship and this time it seems like it'd work ...I'm serious and I feel she is too." He says while smiling looking at you.

And honestly you want that for him as well.Cause he looks so happy just talking about her so sincerely. Whatever you thought about him you were never that childish to be jealous and think I wish I was the girl. No , you can't force someone's feelings. If he feels that for someone you'd always root for him. You always pray for your close people's happiness and he's one of them so why wouldn't you want that.

You coo at him.."Aww, I'm really rooting for you Chan you deserve it you deserve every happiness in this world."

He smiles at you, "thank you y/n, I'm also rooting for you" and then he dramatically winks at you. You know exactly what he's saying so you groan and threaten him to stab him with the fork if he doesn't shut up. He laughs at you.

Part 5

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A/n:Hey lovely readers, this is it for today hope you enjoy it💗

Also the female reader isn't someone too deeply hurt or too deeply in love (about chan) she is not the jealous type, she has made her peace with everything so you won't see her feeling all these emotions deeply.

[m0e-ru]

HAPPY HOLIDAY S !!!! here are the answers to my moel activity book 2022 aka my birthday quiz but theres also a bunch of lore questions in there. part 1 !!!!!!! with the more personal stuff because i hit the image limit so theres part 2 hehe. here <-

YOU CAN ANSWER IT HERE FIRST !!! or read this and see how bullshit my logic is from the get go SORRY

Results

tourist - this was meant to be the lowest scoring result like you dont know much about me or lore like what it says !! you pass by my blog just occasionally like from a tag or a reblog. like a tourist at a gas station. yknow? but the way I scored was like you get bigger penalties when you pick a wrong answer whoopsie (●>ω<)ﾉﾞ

beloved okyakusan - okyakusan means customer I just think you might follow this blog or know enough of it to get some answers right but the way I scored it I dont think. anyone would get this. yikes

loyalty discount - you know more than enough of my shit on any branch I might have been in . YEAH !! you know a lot. I hope. or I scored it bad. BUT ANYWAY !!! loyalty discount realness

oh youre in this hole with me? - this was supposed to be hard to get especially with the more bullshit personal questions sorry. but I think you could get this easily while I’m looking at it whole. welcome to my hole. my friends call it a mineshaft or another said it was a lake from digging up a puddle.

Questions

mega blorboism go - mim, adachi, marie, teddie, souji seta, (bonus) akc [akechi]

OKAY !! first 4 self explanatory. Souji vs Narukami I like Souji more from his depiction in the official manga by Sogabe than the more official Narukami from the animes, spinoffs, etc.

well yeah okay I admit I was a goroboy back in sweet 2017 too bad I only made noise in the fandom in 2020 when Royal came out and GOLDEN had the audacity to show its ass in Steam. my highest note post is this dumb aksh comic btw. I thought nothing of it.

I didn’t include maruki he’s a nice guy but he never hit blorbo category I mean he’s there. hi sensei

What’s their ultra mega favorite p4 adaptation - VISUALIVE STAGEPLAY !!!

the audio drama and manga bags some points too. I’m OBSESSED with visual voiceless media and visualess voiceful media but if you try to wrap my brain with the shitty anime I might throw up

yeah yeah the animes were fine im just more partial to those three yknow. they’re a bit liberal as broadcast media so uhm… the way they handled a few details weren’t for me. BUT WE HAVE AIKA CHAN it’s fine. I dont like anthologies though now that’s just a ball out of the park.

thoughts on tohru adachi - []

these all bag points but the discord screenshot gives the biggest penalty. it’s funnier that way. thank you tekuya. context on the messenger one was that I was partially live-blogging to another friend while I played. IM SORRY !!! I was really interested if he had a social link or not. I did not know of the Horrors. <- only knew he was a bit of an edgy bad guy from the floating fanart and lack of blacklisted spoiler tags but it’s 2022 im built different. I want to put him under a magnifying glass and if he makes me mad I concentrate the light on him till he combusts.

kai moeru is a silly - []

three of these have points except you get bonus points if you choose either of the kpop fan names because it’s fun.

when did they take over the gas station - they dont remember either

september 2022 also gets points because that’s when I think I started roleplaying as a manager.

OKAY strap in here’s some kai moeru lore. I used to subtly role play as just some guy who’s at the gas station too often for their own good. they dont even have a car they just talk to whoever also passes by with their silly conspiracy boards, red string etc etc. then at some point I became the manager of the tumblr branch and that was that! I have discounts and vouchers and promos and etc I think it’s fun that way. im the ceo of moel gas corp on discord btw

when did it all end - “Ohh Mimi”

I mean this is when I started playing the game on my own and had a little too much thoughts about this dumb fucking npc. me and my dad started calling them mimi when we finished the game <- we were playing at the same time he finished first but I blocked out all the spoilers and had my own peaceful endgame. I give you a nickname and it’s ALL OVER !!!!!

or are you really so spineless that youd fold over some bullshit trivial threat on my life sorry for the royal question - small potatoes

like I said. bought royal on launch and finished it in two weeks where “small potatoes” was still there before it got patched out HAHA. i just thought it was silly. people were making essays about the expression then BAM. no more small potatoes.

whos the adachi of p5s (ROYAL + STRIKERS SPOILERS) - ichinose

okay I really liked her when I was playing OKAY? actually I dont think I’ve ever posted my doodle dumps ever but I always thought she had something to do with Sophia and EMMA and the formula making it look like she’d betray you or work with god at some point. SHE FUCKING DID it was so so fucking funny <- cried after the boss fight

i mean i did this. because it's ridiculous

what’s the first nickname they used - mimi

I did mention it before. I just think it’s really cute how it ended up being a household name for me. ive printed them out so many times, framed them and talk about them with that nickname at home that that’s how my siblings know them. it’s a very special name to me honestly. Time went by and I ended up calling them mim. hehe. not that I dont like Nami as a name it’s just that /gestures hands/ yeah

The whole Izumi Izanami thing is just that! Most of my devices’ autocorrects kept turning one word into the other I also ended up calling him zoomy instead and used one (1) “z” for Izy.

rie kugimiya - why are you pitting two bad bitches against each other

she’s the voice actor for both Rise and Haruka and I like them both !!!! You should listen to konnan janai

which emote is not part of the gas station discord server - nodding naoto

Now that one was from the Persona modding discord I think. I do have mim and Nagi rotating and the Adachi True was from a friend who also added Adachi False

[allthefoolishdreams]

@jeonghoneyss

you are strange min my beloved.... i do plan to actually write the origin story (holding off until i finish you are strange)

VENOM!HYUNJIN it'll be a mix of comics + raimi spider-man (i dont think ive ever seen that version with harry being venom). but the main idea is that ill do a short one shot where minho gets venom, at first it's great but they aren't compatible and venom is causing minho to lose himself a bit so he rejects venom and abandons him. now i have to figure out how but venom finds his way to hyunjin who is going Through It and venom is leeching onto that negative energy. also venom is like hey we need to kill spider-man (because he's mad at minho) and hyunjin is like ok um. maybe lets not do that???? it's a mess! he does fight minho for most of the story and eventually ends up teaming up to save the city, so we end with anti-hero hyunjin

& 4. haha ty again so many possibilites!

5. YES secret indentity shenanigans are always so fun! maybe ill brush that one off soon and finally finish it!

6. EXACTLY BURNT OUT CHAN B.!!! SPIDERSUNG (I LOVE THAT)! THE SPIDEY MENTORING! EXACTLY. something something jisung is chans first kid leads him to finding the others and becoming the best version of himself etc etc.

7. YESSS. i just really love the idea of mentor chan and spider-man so obviously it works out!

8. full disclosure i have never finished watching ultimate spider-man only a few episodes here and there (also its been SO long since i watched so i dont really remember anything) all that said i will definitely have to get back to you on who would be nova!

9. seungvenom!!! need to think a bit more about who id make eddie to seungmin's venom like many ships to consider..... 👀

10. thought more about this, i think either variation could work, but i had the thought of spider-bin, deadpool jisung, and daredevil chan 👀

11. honestly do not tempt me! (or please do!!! 🤭) (lowkey i think after i finish with the you are strange verse that i will definitely be open to continuing my spideyskz agenda sgxhdndl)

for the made up fic title ask game - "with great power"? would love to see which way you go with that

hi! thanks for the ask <333

with great power!!! okay, well, seeing as it's famously known as thee spider-man quote and seeing as i'm a resident spider-man enjoyer, you can probably tell my first thought immediately went: more spider-man au!!!!! which i very much could come up with a million different variants of but that would be the easy route, so i'll give you something that isn't spider-man.

so i'm thinking something in a similar vein to misfits where all of skz somehow ends up with powers due to a freak incident. it'd be an exploration of morality, the kids would be fighting over whether to use their powers or not, what to use their newfound powers for, until they're forced into situations where they have to fight for their lives from a secret government agency that's been studying the weird activities surrounding their town and reluctantly they have to save the city.

alternatively a fantasy adventure with a very reluctant chosen one that does not want to be the chosen one but has to learn to accept their newfound power and place in the world. (chan??? I feel like he has the vibes of someone that would not believe he's actually the chosen one and that there has to be some kind of mistake. he just wants to go about his life as normal, like he has his own responsibilities he can't add all these new ones because of a silly prophecy that might not even be about him.) anyways, at first only a few of the members are on a quest, the rest end up getting roped into the quest along the way, meanwhile chan is forced along for the ride. but they find out things are not what they seem and uncover secrets and evil plots that they have to figure out how to stop to save their kingdom.

Send me a made-up fic title and I’ll tell you what I would write to go with it!

[krappykawa]

ಌ i mildly like you more than like (p.1)

— in which an incessant fan girl, a kiss, and a little bit of denial makes oikawa tooru realize he might mildly like you more than like

description. you’ve been in love with oikawa tooru for longer than you can remember. having known him for the better part of nearly 11 years, you’ve come to accept that you’ll never be more than a best friend to him. but with the help of a few irritatingly persistent fangirls and a kiss that was only meant to drive them away, a tale of unrequited love might just prove to be something more. 

warnings. language

word count. 4.2k

oikawa tooru x f!reader, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, some angst

parts. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

author’s note. i started writing this a few weeks ago and it was originally just going to be a one-shot but it got almost up to 10k words so i just decided to split it up HHSKFJ

Oikawa Tooru has perhaps one of the strongest drives when it comes to hard work. 

His tenacity is a thing of nature, something that awes you time and time again, no matter how many times you’ve seen him pick himself up before. It might be one of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. 

But despite how in-tune he is with his senses on a mental standpoint, his Achilles’ heel lies with his inability to pick up on the signs his body gives him when it's had enough. Well, he can, but he just chooses not to listen. 

His first encounter with a crack in that heel came in his first-year, where you had to stand on the sidelines and watch as he fell to the ground during a game with a resounded sweep of gasps around the gym. That injury benched him for more than half the season. 

It was from that point on that you and Iwaizumi decided that if Oikawa wasn’t going to take care of his own body, then it would be up to you two to make sure his head is still above water. 

So it doesn’t surprise you when your phone flashes with a text message from Iwaizumi during one of your shifts at the bakery. 

1 new message: iwa (´,,•ω•,,)♡

Received: can you come pick up shittykawa

“Tooru?” 

A figure sits slumped against the benches in front of Aoba Johsai high, his eyes closed as he lays back. There’s something beautiful about the way that he looks almost ethereal in this relaxed state, the most relaxed you’d seen him in months. When he hears his name from your lips, he slowly blinks and sits up, the aura of relaxation falling from him. 

You almost regret having said anything in the first place when he puts up his guard the moment he sees you.

“Y/N-chan!” An easy smile falls between his lips, one that could’ve easily fooled anyone else. He always was very good at portraying happiness and contentment, especially when he’d been followed everywhere by people that only really want to see Oikawa Tooru, popular ladies’ man with charm that could make your mother swoon. 

But you’re one of the select few that knew him before he learned that his charm was a crucial asset in his arsenal. You knew him at his highs and his lows, so the convincing smile on his lips doesn’t convince you in the slightest. That’s because you notice the way his arms seem to sit limply in his lap and the way his eyes convey fatigue rather than joy. You also know that Iwaizumi called you here for one thing. 

“Don’t Y/N-chan me. Iwa texted me.” 

Oikawa’s facade seems to fall at that, replaced with a troubled expression. He brings his right hand up to wipe at his face in frustration. “Listen, I don’t know what he may have said, but he’s exaggerating. I’m fine.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. He can’t seem to meet your eyes. “Well, that’s a lie considering that you’re out here right now and not in that gym,” you say matter-of-factly. 

“He physically dragged me out here!” Oikawa whines, throwing his hands in the direction of your school’s gym. 

A bemused chuckle leaves your lips as you move to sit beside him on the bench. Oikawa moves his bag to give you more room to sit, but you don’t move any closer. “And when has that ever stopped you?”

Oikawa getting kicked out of practice by Iwaizumi and even on select days, by their coach, is not an unusual occurrence. Iwaizumi has forcefully dragged Oikawa out of the gym before. Each and every time, Oikawa just marched right back in, despite Iwaizumi’s rage and his coach’s warnings. Even when his extra practice hours cause detrimental effects to his knee, Oikawa never seems to back down. 

It was something both you and Iwaizumi had grown used to in your years of friendship with Oikawa -- his incredibly stubborn determination to somehow work himself to the point of bad health. 

That’s how you know something different has happened today, because Oikawa is sitting out here on a bench rather than arguing with Iwa about how “a few more serves won’t hurt him!” (though they most definitely do, and Oikawa never seems to learn). 

You turn your head to look at him. He’s quiet now, though he still doesn’t meet your eyes. His gaze is instead focused on a dog that’s running in the park opposite the school. You know that he’s avoiding confirming your accusation. 

When it doesn’t seem like he’s going to talk anytime soon, you sigh. “All I’m saying is that if you really believed that you were fine, you would be using all your blood, sweat, tears in order to find a way back into the gym. Especially since the qualifiers are coming up.” You lean back against the bench as well, letting your eyes watch the dog happily run with its tongue lolling out of its mouth. “But instead you’re here, sitting on a bench in the afternoon. And from the looks of it, you had no intention of heading home.” 

He still doesn’t turn to look at you, the only indication that he even heard you is the mild tick in his jaw. You try not to think about how perfectly sculpted his side profile is.  

When he finally does speak, he still avoids your accusation of his fatigue and instead asks, “Why did Iwa-chan call you here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be working at the bakery?”

You shrug. “Business was slow. Besides, my boss likes me enough to let me go early today. He said I’d have to work overtime this weekend though.” 

At that, he finally turns to look at you. In the split second that you glance at him, you catch the guilt in his gaze before he looks away again. “You shouldn’t have come. You already overwork yourself being the only decent baker besides your boss that works there.”

A smile spreads on your face, your tone teasing. “Oikawa Tooru wants to talk to me about overworking myself?”

“I’m serious. You work too hard at that bakery for the measly amount that they pay you. Don’t think I don’t notice the way you try to cover your under eye circles with makeup.”

You feel your stomach jump, the familiar feeling causing your lips to tug upwards lightly. Tooru has been one of your best friends ever since you moved into the house across from his when you were seven years old. You hadn’t known when it happened, but you had come to school one day last year and just suddenly knew that your feelings were no longer limited to platonic when it came to the brown-haired volleyball captain. It’s in moments like these where you wonder how he hasn’t managed to figure your feelings out, considering how observant he is of everything else about you. 

“Yes, well I’m sorry that we can’t all look like we spawn from a god like you do. It’s seriously unfair how you can still look like that when you get even less sleep than I do.”

There’s only a hint of teasing in his voice when he says, “You think I look that handsome?” He turns to face you again, and this time there’s a blink of surprise lurking in his chestnut eyes. Especially now, with the sun casting golden glows on his hair and skin, he looks beautiful to you. 

Painfully, it reminds you about how unrequited your feelings are. Not that Oikawa has ever outright rejected you or even acknowledged knowing anything of your feelings, but him reciprocating your feelings didn’t even cross your mind as a possibility most days. Not with the group of girls that are always vying for his attention; not when his ex-girlfriend was what everyone thought was his perfect match; not when he hadn’t even attempted a committed relationship since Yua-san broke up with him all those months ago.

“Y/N?” His voice drags you out of your train of thought. You realize that you had been staring at him this entire time. 

You play off your thoughts with a roll of your eyes and turn your head back towards the park. “No,” you lie. “I just hear comments like that from your fan club all the time.” 

He nods lightly, his eyebrows creasing. “Right. Right, of course.” You’re about to ask about the odd tone in his voice when he speaks again. “You never did answer my question. Why did Iwa-chan send you here?”

“He wanted me to make sure that you actually went home instead of finding somewhere else to practice,” you say. A chuckle escapes your lips. You’re happy for the change in topic. 

“I am not that hard-headed!” You raise a brow at him. He pouts. “Fine. Maybe a little.”

“A little?”

“Oh come on, Y/N. Now you’re just being mean!”

“Yeah well, it’s payback. You’re a real pain in the ass.”

“In your ass, I hope.” 

You try to keep the blush from your cheeks as your mind takes you in a completely different direction. Suddenly, the space between you two seems too small. “You might want to rethink what you just said.” You try not to stare at his mouth as it falls open, your mind still invading your thoughts with images that you should not be fantasizing about when he’s sitting right beside you. 

“Wait.” Oikawa’s eyes go so comically wide that you almost forget your own embarrassment. “Jeez, that did not come out in the right way. Not right at all.” For what seems like the millionth time, he looks away from you, though this time it seems to be out of his own mortification over what he just said. There seems to be a blush to his cheeks, but you very well might have just imagined it. 

You let out a laugh, your arms coming up to clutch at your side. “I cannot believe that you’re supposed to be the big hotshot volleyball player that every girl has a crush on. There is not a charming bone in your body. I refuse to believe it.”

Oikawa lets out a small chuckle. “I don’t have to charm you when you already love even the uncharming parts of me. But if anyone asks, I am completely perfect. There are no uncharming parts to Oikawa Tooru. Don’t you dare spread false rumors, Y/N-chan!”

An amused snort leaves you at his last three sentences, but you decide to respond on the first part of his words. “Me? Loving you? Very unlikely.” You tease, trying your hardest to keep a straight face when Oikawa begins to pout. 

“If you don’t love me after all these years I will actually start crying right now and then those girls that follow me everywhere will come for your blood for making me cry.”

You chuckle again, catching yourself before you roll your eyes again. Next to you, Oikawa has his arms crossed with a convincing pout sitting on his lips that makes him look like a child. You smile despite yourself. “Okay, okay keep the dramatics to a minimum.”

“Then say it.”

“Say what?

“Say that you love me.”

You feel a small pang as you plaster a smile on your face. “I mildly like you more than like,” you say, not really sure if you’d be able to say those three words to him at this point in time. Not when you know that they’re true.

Oikawa’s pout deepens, but you’re adamant on not saying more. 

“That’s all you’re getting from me, Crappykawa.” Suddenly you find yourself amused at the way you managed to sound exactly like Iwaizumi. It hadn’t occurred to you that you’d spent so much time with him.

“Call me pretty and I’ll drop it.”

“You’re so needy sometimes, you know that?”

“Very much aware, Y/N-chan. As if you and Iwa-chan would ever let me forget.”

An eye roll comes easy to you and this time you don’t try to stop it. At this point, an eye roll is almost like a natural reaction to anything Oikawa says. “Fine. I’ll admit you’re not bad too look at.”

“Not great, but I’ll take it,” he concludes. “I can slowly feel the crack in my ego being restored.”

“If you want to be complimented please go seek out the never-ending stream of girls and guys that come your way hoping for even an ounce of your attention.” You hope that he doesn’t notice the mild bitterness in your voice. “I’m almost positive that they’ll be willing to tell you just how pretty you are and how everyone in the world should be in love with you.”

“They should be, shouldn’t they?” Oikawa bemuses.

A laugh leaves your lips despite your efforts. “You are insufferable sometimes. I don’t understand why I’ve kept you around for so long.”

“There you go with the insults again,” he tskes. “Have you and Iwa-chan been spending time together without me?” 

“Iwa and I are friends you know?”

“Yeah but you’re supposed to be my best friend,” he pouts. 

“You already said that line to Iwaizumi yesterday when he opted to carry me instead of you.”

“Yeah, well … I met you before he did!”

“Because you threw a volleyball at my head!”

“It was an accident!”

Laugher spills from both of your lips at the memory. It isn’t until Oikawa’s hair brushes upon your shoulder during his laughter that you realize that the space between you and Oikawa had increasingly gotten smaller. He’s so close that your thighs are only centimeters apart. 

As your laughter dies down, Oikawa’s bubbly personality begins to slip once more and the fatigue on his face becomes more evident. Eventually, he rests his head on your shoulder. You feel your stomach flutter pleasantly at his proximity. Even now, you can smell the cologne he regularly wears, the one you helped pick out back in first-year that he’s worn ever since. 

Once the silence lasts for a few moments, you finally attempt to ask him about practice once more. “Are you finally going to tell me why you didn’t fight back when Iwa threw you out of practice?” 

He sighs. “I guess you can say that I’m a little bit tired. Plus my knee hurts like all hell has reigned down.” His voice is so much different from just moments before that it’s hard to believe that they come from the same person. 

“You’re exhausted,” you say. It’s not a question, but more of a definite statement. 

“More or less,” he responds quietly. 

This time, it’s you that sighs. “Just … be careful. I get that you want to beat everyone and go to Nationals, but you’re no good to your team if you fuck your knee up so badly that you can’t play.”

“This year is our last chance,” he mumbles. “I just don’t want to look back later and wish that maybe I’d practiced just a little more.”

“You can’t beat anyone if you’re sitting on the bench from an injury that you got from overworking yourself.”

Oikawa winces at the tone in your voice. You almost feel guilty. Almost. 

“You’re going to work yourself to death. Iwaizumi and I aren’t just going to stand by and watch you dig your own grave,” you say softly. “For his sake, at least. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I’ll try,” he says. For some reason, you believe him.

The two of you sit there in silence once more, the wind blowing lightly on your hair and the sounds of a busy town echoing around you. You wish that you could bottle this moment up and keep it with you forever, even if it’s only a testament to how much Oikawa values you as a best friend and nothing more. 

The thought makes your stomach drop in the slightest bit. It’s usually easy to contain your depth of feelings for Oikawa when the air around you two is lively and joking, but you’ve found over the years that quiet moments like these are the ones that really tear at your heart. 

He’ll never know the extent of your feelings for him, and you’re too afraid to wonder what would happen if he did know. 

Oikawa turns his head only slightly to look up at you while still continuing to lean on your shoulder. “You okay?” 

You give an almost imperceptible nod. “We should head home. I don’t know what Iwaizumi might do to you if he finds you out here after practice ends,” you say. 

Oikawa nods and detaches his head from your shoulder. 

The two of you have only walked a couple of meters when you hear a group of girls squeal from not too far away. Oikawa tenses from beside you. 

“Your fanclub found you,” you say.

“I’m aware.”

He doesn’t make any move to look back at them or stop. Instead, his pace seems to speed up. 

You furrow a brow. “You don’t want to talk to them? Thought you loved their attention?”

“Ouch. You really know how to wound a man, Y/N-chan,” he says with a small smile on his lips. You take notice of the weariness in his features. “But while I do enjoy them feeding my very justified ego, I am far too fatigued to deal with them.”

You nod and continue to walk beside him. The less interactions he has with his fan club, the better your mood will be. Besides, you weren’t going to fail Iwaizumi by not doing the one thing he asked you to do and not take Oikawa home. 

A giggle reaches your ears once more, and you sneak a glance behind you. The girls are talking amongst themselves, but still obviously walking in the direction you’re headed in. 

“Well, what do you wanna do? Cause they’re coming.”

Oikawa sighs and you notice a tick of irritation in his clenched jaw. You can see a million thoughts going through his mind, but before you can ask him about them, he reaches out to grab your hand.

“Is this okay? I’m just hoping that they’ll leave me alone if they think that you and I … uhm.”

Oikawa’s hands are long and calloused, but they feel nice as his fingers intertwine with your smaller ones. You try hard not to let the little gesture get to you. “Yeah … yeah of course.”

The two of you fall into silence again, mostly due to his fatigue and your inability to form coherent words that don’t have to do with his hand in yours. You’ve held hands with Oikawa before, but it was never with the intent to make you two look like a couple. You wish more than anything that he would break the silence before you blurt out something that you don’t want to. 

Your wishes are answered when Oikawa asks, “They’re still following us, aren’t they?” Oikawa still doesn’t look back as he says it.

In your short reverie you had forgotten about the girls behind you. You sneak another glance at them and find that Oikawa’s assumption is correct.

“Yeah, they are.”

Oikawa makes an incoherent noise. “Y/N-chan, could you be a dear and describe what they look like? I have a feeling I know who exactly they are.”

You turn back again, and really take a good look at them. They’re pretty. Really pretty, you think. You wonder for a second what they could’ve done to make Oikawa so adamant on not speaking with them. 

“There’s three girls. One with cropped red hair, one with long blonde hair, and one with brown hair in a high ponytail.”

“Oh, it’s them again. I don’t know what to do to get them to leave me alone at this point,” he sighs. 

“Who are they? What’s going on?”

His grip on your hand tightens. “Ichika-san and her friends. She sent me a love letter about a month ago. I tried to let her down easily, but it seems that she has yet to give up.”

“This girl is your stalker?”

“Not quite. At least, I hope not.”

The noise from behind you two gets increasingly louder. A giggle echoes on the mildly empty street and you catch Oikawa’s name being whispered between their conversations. Now that you’ve found out about what they’ve been putting him through, your annoyance spikes. 

“Not to sound paranoid or anything, but I’m not keen on these girls finding out where you live.” 

Oikawa is quiet for a moment, his brows furrowed in indecision. It seems that he makes up his mind when he turns his head to look at you. “Kiss me.”

Your step momentarily falters. 

“What?”

He shakes your intertwined hands. “We’re already holding hands. They might get the memo if we …”

“Oh.”

“I .. I mean only if you want to. You don’t have to. I just figured that .. nevermind. It’s a spotty plan. They might still not leave us alone and --”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll do it.” You weren’t going to pass up a chance at kissing him, even if it’s only for a diversion. This doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anyways — you’d long since given up on him reciprocating your feelings, and this way you can kiss him while saving yourself from the possible embarrassment of rejection. 

“You will?”

“Where’s the harm? It’s just a kiss right?” You can barely hear yourself talking over the beating of your heart. “Besides, it could work.”

Oikawa shoots you a grateful smile. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready then.”

You try to shake out your nerves and instead focus your time in looking at your surroundings. The sound of giggling is still in close range when you spot a tree nearby. It’s still pretty out in the open, but not so much that you and Oikawa might draw stares, at least not from anyone that isn’t a part of the group of girls behind you. 

Gathering enough courage to not insanely mess this up, you tug on Oikawa’s hand to drag him with you in the direction of the tree. You make sure that you’re still in the line of sight of the three girls when you snake your arms around Oikawa’s neck and pull him down. 

His lips are softer than you imagined, and you’ve imagined kissing them more times than you’re willing to admit. Pleasantly, he tastes like oranges, which you don’t quite understand, considering that you can’t seem to remember him ever being fond of oranges. But then again, you can’t quite think of anything besides the feeling of his lips on yours.

Your lips move fluidly against his, soft but not entirely without passion. It takes everything in you to not kiss him with the force that you want to be kissing him with. 

Hands come down to grip your waist as he pulls you closer to him, gently placing a hand on the small of your back. You run your hands through his hair and wonder to yourself why you hadn’t ever played with his hair before. If you ever make it out of this with your senses still intact, you’d make playing with his hair a part of your regular routine.

He makes a small noise against your lips when you make the mistake of pulling a little too hard on his hair. His grip on you tightens. 

You don’t know how long you two stand there, lips locked with each other, but Oikawa doesn’t make any move to pull away. Instead he deepens the kiss by running his tongue against your bottom lip and pulling you even closer. You stifle a noise that threatens to come from deep in your throat. One of his hands comes up to cup your cheek and tips your head so that he can slip his tongue into your mouth. He has fantastic lips, you think. 

It’s only until you feel the air in your lungs begin to dwindle that you force yourself to pull away. The kiss lasted for longer than you expected, and by the way you pant with every breath, it feels like a kiss that the rest of the world should not have been privy to. 

You keep your eyes closed for a moment more, wanting to savor the moment for just a little longer. The moment you open your eyes, you’ll have to come back to the reality that this was just a one-time thing. You’ll have to come back to reality and remember that this kiss likely doesn’t mean anything to him. 

Slowly you open your eyes, and find that Oikawa’s already staring at you intently. His breathing comes out staggered, and his eyes have turned a few shades darker. What used to be a soft chestnut brown looks almost close to black. In them, you notice a flicker of an odd emotion that looks too familiar, but you don’t want to hope for anything. 

You slide your hands down to his chest. His hands are still planted on your back and face, touching you both gently and carefully. “Did it work?” Your voice comes out small.

He seems to wake up from his trance then, and turns to look in the direction that the girls were before. You look behind you to see one of the girls running away with her head in her hands. Her two friends follow after her in an attempt to console her.

“I think it did,” he says. And what he says after is so quiet you almost believe that you imagine hearing it. “In more ways than one.”

part two will most likely be up on thursday next week :)

[kuroopaisen]

cause & effect || chapter 5

➵ your work friend, kuroo, has a tiny favour to ask. unfortunately, that favour includes convincing his family that you’re very much in love with him and have been for a while now. let’s just say it’s easier than you’d assumed.

warnings: f!reader, mild depiction of anxiety i guess? 

wc: 3.9k

m.list | ch. 4 ↞ ch. 5 ↠ ch. 6

“You ready?” Kuroo asks, giving you a warm smile.

You take a deep breath.

He’s parked his car in the driveway of his parent’s home. You hadn’t even known he had a car; you’d always thought they were a bit useless when you live somewhere like Tokyo.

But that isn’t the point.

The point is, you’re about to meet his grandmother.

The very woman who’d started the toppling dominos that’d led to you sitting in this very car.

You’re also about to meet his dad and grandfather, but they sound a little less intimidating.

Honestly, you feel like this is all a bit quick. Do you even know him well enough to pull this off yet? But, as Kuroo had pointed out, the earlier you met his immediate family, the fewer names and faces you’d have to familiarise yourself with later in the month.

You’re the one who’d suggested this weekend, anyway. You can’t back out now.

“Hey,” Kuroo murmurs, tilting his head at you. “If you’re not feeling up to it, we can say you came down with a cold.”

“Oh,” you blink at him, heat rising in your cheeks. “Oh, no, it’s fine! I just need a moment. To… to steel myself.”

Kuroo smiles, the concern in his features melting away into relief. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you, Kuroo,” you nod.

God, how long has it been since you’d met someone’s parents? Too long. Embarrassingly long. Long enough for your own parents to be a little disappointed in you. Not that their opinions matter—

You shake your head.

No, no, you shouldn’t be thinking about them right now. You have a job to do.

“Alright,” you sigh. “I’m ready.”

“Great,” Kuroo nods. “Well… let’s go, I guess.”

The two of you slip out of the car, making your way towards the front door.

It opens before you’re even halfway there.

“Ah!” An old lady hobbles towards you, and you know immediately that it’s Kuroo’s grandmother. They have the same eyes – clever, bright, calculating.

“Look who decided to show up,” the woman tuts, placing her hands on her hips in the perfect image of a displeased mother.

Kuroo rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks turning pink. “You make it sound like I never visit,” he mumbles.

“Well, you certainly don’t visit as much as I’d like,” the old woman scoffs, shaking her head.

“I have a job, Obaa-chan,” Kuroo grins, stepping forward and ruffling her hair.

“Now, now, Tetsu,” she chuckles, swatting his hand away, “you’re still in no position to do that.”

“I’ll be the one looking after you in your old age, you know,” he teases.

“Oh, I’m well-aware,” she responds, totally unphased. “You’re not getting away with anything less.”

The old woman turns to you, a kind, if cheeky, smile on her face. The family resemblance really is striking. The eyes, the smile, the energy… It’s almost comical.

“Hello, dear,” she greets you with sincere warmth in her voice.

“Hello,” you smile as best you can, offering her a bow. Your stomach feels all fuzzy and your chest is tightening –

This shouldn’t be so stressful. It’s not like you’re meeting his family as his actual, real girlfriend. And yet, you’re still worried about making a good impression.

Oh, and putting on a good performance. That’s important too.

“Oh, none of that,” Kuroo’s grandmother chuckles, shaking her head.

As you rise up, she waddles towards you, arms open and ready to embrace you.

You respond at the last moment, only just registering what’s happening.

“It’s delightful to finally meet you,” Kuroo’s grandmother beam, looking you up and down. “Ah, you’re even lovelier than the photos.”

“You too,” you smile, your cheeks blooming for the second time today. “And thank you.”

His grandmother chuckles, throwing her arms around your neck. Your eyes widen and you almost jump, but you reciprocate, nonetheless.

This woman is already more delightful than you can handle.

“I’ve heard many wonderful things about you, my dear.”

You didn’t think your face could get any warmer, and yet here you are. “You have?”

“Indeed!” She laughs. “And I’ve surmised that you are far too good for my grandson.”

“Obaa-chan!” Kuroo gasps.

“Would you begrudge me for telling her the honest truth, my boy?” Kuroo’s grandmother tuts. “I know you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You should be able to put two and two together.”

“You’re exaggerating,” you laugh.

“Oh, surely not,” she shakes her head, taking a step back. “Now come, come!”

She hobbles back to the front door, beckoning the two of you.

You stall. Why, you don’t know. Nerves, probably? Man, this is so much harder than you thought…

“Hey,” Kuroo murmurs, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back. You start as his breath tickles your ear, whipping your head round to look at him.

He nods towards his front door with an encouraging look in his eyes.

You swallow roughly, trying to ground yourself. There’s more to be nervous about than you’d anticipated.

The two of you walk through the front door – Kuroo has to stoop a little, because of course – and you take a moment to survey the house.

It’s a little cobbled together – walls covered with frames of all different shapes and sizes, a bookcase full to bursting with a rainbow of books, trinkets scattered here and there. It’s a mix of Japanese and Western-style, a concoction of couches and spare floor cushions, a low coffee table, wide rooms with open sliding doors and generous windows.

Slapdash as it is, it’s homely. Comforting, even.

Kuroo’s grandmother potters around the kitchen. From the clatter of mugs and kettle, you guess she’s preparing tea.

You turn to Kuroo for instruction. He takes your hand in his, leading you through the front room and towards the kitchen. You tighten your fingers around his palm, trying to calm the swirl of nerves rattling around your stomach.

He pulls out a chair for you at the kitchen table. You thank him quietly and slip into it as he plops himself next to you.  

He slouches against the back of his chair, his demeanour melting in a way you’ve never seen before.

Well, you think, this is the house he grew up in.

“Here you go, dears,” his grandmother hums, flashing through the corner of your vision and setting a tea-set on the table in front of you. “I hope you’re a fan of green tea.”

“Thank you,” you smile. You’re not going to complain – especially since she’s gone to the trouble of preparing it for you.

She pours out three yunomi, setting one in front of each of you. Once she’s done, she plops herself down on one of the chairs, wiggling forward so she’s on the edge of her seat.

“Now,” she smiles, reaching over and taking one of your hands in hers. “You must simply tell me all about yourself.”

You freeze.

What is there to say? Even now, an adult with a wage job, you can’t quite put a finger on what really defines you as a person. It certainly isn’t your job in marketing.

You clench your free fist in your lap, trying to think of something, anything to say.

Even if this is fake, even if this is just a ruse to calm his grandmother’s nerves for the holiday’s… it’s hard. It’s scary.

You want to make a good impression. You want this to go well. But you just don’t know how to make that happen. What if his grandmother doesn’t even like you? What then?

Kuroo slips a hand over your balled-up fist, rubbing a gentle thumb over the ridges of your knuckles. You loosen your grip just a little, letting him slip his fingers through yours.

The contact is still strange, still foreign. And it’s fake.

You know it’s fake.

But it gives you the tiny spurt of strength you need.

“Ah,” you laugh nervously, “where would you like me to start?”

The old woman smiles, shaking her head. “You’re fine, dear. The two of you met at work, yes?”

“Yes,” you nod. “He makes it more bearable.”

His grandmother laughs. “Well, I suppose his sense of humour is decent enough. He gets it from me, after all.”

You grin. “There is that. But he… he helped me settle in when I first started working there. I really appreciated that.” You blush. It doesn’t sound particularly romantic, but they’re honest feelings. Perhaps the best way to make this believable is to play upon what’s already there.

Kuroo squeezes your hand gently. You squeeze his back.

“You just can’t help yourself, can you Tetsu?” His grandmother chuckles. “You see a lost little duckling and you just have to take them under your wing.”

Kuroo blushes, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Well… you know…”

His grandmother shakes her head, turning back to you. “He’s always been like this, you see.”

“Trust me, I’ve heard all about Kenma,” you smile. “Oh, and there’s a Tsukishima, right? From volleyball.”

“As I expected,” she chuckles, raising an eyebrow at Kuroo.

“You make it sound like I go around picking up charity cases,” he mumbles, looking away from her. You can’t make up much of his face, but his ears have gone a little pink.

“Are you calling me a charity case, Tetsu?” You tease, tilting your head at him.

His head whips back around, eyes wide. “No—I—why would you draw that conclusion?”

You giggle, giving his hand another squeeze. “Just teasing.”

His grandmother chuckles, a new glint in her eyes. “You might have to reconsider who the charity case here is, my boy.”

“I never said she was a charity case!” He whines, looking between the two of you with an expression of deepening panic. “I would never—”

“I thought I raised you to treat women better,” his grandmother sighs, propping her elbows on the table and dramatically hanging her head in her hands. “To see that I’ve failed so terribly…”

You laugh, the tension in your stomach easing a little.

He definitely gets his sense of humour from her, you realise.

And it’s more than just the sense of humour.

You know this woman’s already picked up on your anxieties. It’s like she’s trying to soothe them, in her own way. Just like he does.

His observant eye is a family trait, it seems.

The conversation flows a little easier after that; Kuroo tries to redeem himself to little effect, his grandmother asks you how you like to spend your spare time, Kuroo tries to stop her from relaying any embarrassing childhood stories…

You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting at the kitchen table, but your tea’s gone cold.

You haven’t even drunk any of it.

“Oh, I should put the kettle back on,” his grandmother hums, as if reading your mind. “I’ve always been bad at playing host.”  

“Not at all!” You say without even thinking.

Kuroo’s grandmother chuckles, offering you a kind smile. Her gaze flicks to Kuroo, the look on her face turning a little wicked. “Honestly, Tetsu, I don’t know how you managed to land yourself such a sweet young woman.”

“It’s almost as if you don’t have faith in me,” Kuroo grumbles, propping his chin on his hand.

“The gall it must take to say such things to your own grandmother,” she tuts. “It’s my duty to love you more than anything else on this planet, you know.”

“Hm,” Kuroo nods slowly. “It’s a shame you’re not doing a very good job at performing said duty, then.”

“Kuroo!” You gasp, staring at him with slack jaw.

A sound that exists somewhere in the venn diagram of a shriek, a warble, and a laugh erupts from Kuroo’s grandmother. “My my, we are getting bold!”

“He’s lying,” you cut in, “he talks about you all the time. Especially about how good you’ve been to him.”

“Oh?” She grins devilishly. “Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you nod. “He’s a real grandma’s boy.”

“Oi!” Kuroo barks, staring at you with what appears to be disbelief. Nothing you’re saying is a lie – and that just makes it all the more incriminating.

“Oh, don’t blame her, Tetsu dear,” his grandmother laughs. “I’m sure she’s just worried about my feelings.”

You blush a little. She’s right – the last thing you want is for this lovely old woman to feel like her grandson did nothing less than adore her.

But, this family dynamic is very new to you. You can’t imagine being this casual with your own family members.  

“I’m sorry, Obaa-chan,” Kuroo grins, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean it.”

“You better not have!” She gasps, placing one aghast hand on her chest. “Goodness me, Tetsu, you’re going to do my heart in if you’re not careful.”

“And we can’t have that,” Tetsu chuckles softly.

A lull sets over the kitchen as the verbal combatants take a moment to compose themselves. You let the silence sit, trying to find comfort in the pause.

You can tell that there’s nothing misunderstood here. Even though you feel like you need to explain, like you need to ensure that she’s aware of how Kuroo really feels…

Well, it seems like that’s not necessary at all.

How beautiful, you think to yourself with a small smile.

A scuffling down the hallway perks your ears.

“Oh, hello!”

You turn towards the source of this new voice.

A kindly old man pokes his head through the hallway. He’s got quite a lot of hair for someone his age.

“Hey grandad,” Kuroo says, holding up a hand.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were visiting today?” He chuffs, hobbling towards the little gathering.

Kuroo frowns. “Obaa-chan didn’t tell you?”

The woman in question chuckles to herself.

“Really?” Kuroo asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

“You’ve got to make your own fun when you’re this age, Tetsu dear,” his grandmother says sagely, bringing her yunomi to her lips as if to declare an end to the interrogation before it’s even begun.

At this point, the tea must be stone cold.

The older man tuts, turning to you with a nod. “I’m so sorry I didn’t come and make my introductions earlier, my dear.”

“You must be Tetsu’s grandfather,” you grin, returning the nod.

“The wrinkles gave it away, didn’t they?” He sighs.

“Not at all,” you shake your head with a smile. “It’s the air of wisdom.”

He laughs, a full-bellied chortle that’s not unlike the one of the man sitting next to you. “Oh, now I know you’re lying. There’s no wisdom to be found in here.”

He emphasises his point with a solid tap of two fingers against his temple.

“Oh, I’m sure that’s untrue,” you smile.

“He married me, dear,” Kuroo’s grandmother chuckles. “Believe me, that is not the mark of a wise man.”

“I beg to differ,” you turn to her with bright eyes. “I think any man would be lucky to have you.”

A genuinely delighted laugh leaves her lips. “Oh, you really are lovely, hm?”

You blush for what feels like the hundredth time today, glancing down at your lap.

Your hand is still twined with Kuroo’s. You’d forgotten about that. He seems to have, too.

How strange.

You raise your head sharply, intent not to think about it too hard.

Kuroo’s grandparents are exchanging a look – so many years of marriage simply must result in some kind of nonverbal literacy, right?

“Go call Ta-chan, would you dear?” Kuroo’s grandmother smiles sweetly up at her husband, fluttering her eyelashes like a young vixen.

He rolls his eyes, but even you can tell it’s out of fondness. “Yes, darling.”

“Ta-chan?” You ask, looking to Kuroo.

“My dad,” he grins.

“Ah,” you giggle. The thought of a man well into his fifties being referred to as ‘Ta-chan’ is enough to help you feel a little more comfortable. Just a little.

Kuroo’s grandmother scuttles off down the hallway. His grandmother gets up and puts the kettle on again after pouring her current cup of tea down the sink.

You take a moment to compose yourself, turning to Kuroo.

He smiles at you, his cheeks warm and his eyes fond.

‘How am I doing?’ you mouth at him.

‘Great,’ he mouths back.

The burden slides a little, your shoulders feeling a little lighter.

You can’t quite tell, but if Kuroo thinks you’re doing okay…

“Ah, hello!”

The new voice makes you jump as a new presence fills the kitchen.

A tall, broad man ambling his way towards you, his cheeks ruddy and his eyes glinting with a cleverness that you’ve already begun to associate with the Kuroo family line.

“Kuroo Takashi,” he beams, holding one hand towards you. “And trust me, you need no introduction.”

You blush as you take his hands, giving it a meagre shake. “It’s nice to meet you.”  

Takashi grins at you as he pulls out a seat of his own, right next to his father.

You realise, now, that the table is full.

Some absent-minded conversation flies around the dining table – something about work, something about the vegetable garden.

Family stuff.

It’s endearing, even if you’re not a part of it. Even if you don’t really know what it feels like.

“Well,” Kuroo’s grandmother hums, folding her hands in her lap as she shot you a knowing look, “I’m just glad he’s finally got a girl to look at him twice.”

The comment brings you back to the moment like a sharp slap. You raise an eyebrow at her in response, hoping it makes you look like you’ve been engaged this whole time.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Kuroo scoffs, rolling his eyes.

His grandmother leans across the table towards you with a playful glint in her eye. “You see, he wasn’t very popular with the girls in high school.” She casts a furtive glance towards her grandson. “I think it’s the hair.”

“Obaa-chan!”

You bite back a laugh at the expression of pure incredulity on Kuroo’s face.

“I kept telling you to brush it,” she tuts. “And yet, you always ignored me.”

“I did brush it!” He whines, patting the top of his head. “It just made it worse!”

“That’s what young boys always say when you try to get them to take care of their hygiene,” his grandmother sighs. “It’s a real shame.”

“Is that a dig at me?” Takashi asks.

“And what if it was?”

“You know, I think you need to be taking more responsibility,” he tuts, shaking his head. “We’re the result of your genes, after all,” he says, gesturing between him and Kuroo.

“Yeah,” Kuroo nods.

His grandmother raises his hands in surrender, shaking her head slowly. “Why are you just blaming me? Shigeru is right here—”

“Don’t pin this on me!” Kuroo’s grandfather scoffs. “I am but a bystander!”

You watch the family bicker with a gentle smile on your face.

Kuroo Tetsurou makes sense to you now.

This is only your first meeting, but there’s a little bit of all of them in him. There’s a relief to knowing that no matter what, Kuroo is loved. Adored. Cherished.

And he’s comfortable here. It’s like he can be himself – and he can certainly run his mouth without fear of retribution.

It’s nice to pretend to be a part of it, even if just for a moment.

✧ ✧ ✧

When Kuroo had asked you to pop by Kenma’s house with him, you hadn’t expected… this.

The house isn’t opulent, per se, but it’s big. It’s enough of a spectacle to be a marker of wealth, even if it didn’t have all the bells and whistles that usually accompanied excessive capital.

But perhaps the most staggering thing about it is its occupant.

You’d been told that Kenma’s a successful YouTuber. With that knowledge in mind, you couldn’t help but have expectations.

And yet this man, this famous YouTuber who Kuroo couldn’t shut up about, is so… normal. Just some guy, standing in his sweatpants and a jumper, his long hair tied up in a messy bun.

The contrast with the house is almost comical.

“Hey, so…” Kuroo grins bashfully, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Don’t laugh.”

The man standing at the door of this ludicrously expensive-looking house glances between the two of you, his apathetic expression darkening to one of incredulity. “What’ve you done?”

Kuroo turns to you, his cheeks a little red. “So…”

He takes a moment to introduce you. He also decides that now, this moment, is the perfect time to explain his harebrained scheme. You can’t keep up as he babbles on about miai and the holidays and meddlesome family members and all sorts.

Kenma stares at him through narrowed eyes. His mouth is drawn into a sour point, as if he’s just bitten an ulcer by accident.

“And this is… my fake girlfriend,” Kuroo laughs nervously, gesturing at you.

Kenma turns to you. He looks a bit like he’s having an out-of-body experience.

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” you smile brightly. “Kuroo talks about you like he’s a proud father or something.”

Kenma shoots Kuroo a truly vitriolic glare. Kuroo grins back, a shade more bashful than before.

Kenma turns back to you with a touch of sympathy in his eyes. “I’m so sorry about him.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” you laugh, waving a hand at him.

Kenma blinks at you, as if appraising… something. Your tone, maybe? Your expression? Who knows?

He just sighs, turning back to Kuroo.

“Explain it to me again,” he drawls. He looks positively exhausted. “But in one sentence this time.”

“So, to stop my grandma from setting me up on dates, she’s agreed to be my girlfriend for a few weeks,” Kuroo says, as if it’s the most nonchalant thing in the world. “Not my real girlfriend, but, like…”

Kenma stares at him for an excruciatingly long moment. “You’re so stupid.”

“Why?” Kuroo pouts.

“You really think this is going to work?”

He turns to you, a subtle look of genuine pity in his eyes. “I’m so sorry he dragged you into this.”

“It’s fine,” you smile, waving a hand at him. “He’s going to buy me boba for a year.”

Kenma shoots Kuroo a disparaging look.

“It seemed like a fair deal,” Kuroo shrugs.

Kenma shakes his head, closing his eyes. “We can discuss this after the collab.”

“Oh, right,” Kuroo grins at you bashfully. “I’ve got to shoot a collab with Kenma, so if you want to take the car and go somewhere, or…”

“I can help,” you say, almost automatically. “If you need a hand, or…”

A beautiful grin blossoms across Kuroo’s face. “Thank you.”

You smile back at him, your heart doing a little skip in your chest.

“Have you ever moderated a chat before?” Kenma asks.

You shake your head. “No, but I’m a fast learner.”

Kenma smiles a little at that, turning around. “Alright, come on.”

Kuroo gestures you forward, a gentle, fond expression on his face. You nod, stepping through the front door and removing your shoes.

This is only a small sliver of Kuroo’s world, only one little look into all the complexities that go into making this one man. But it’s already so beautiful; so bright, so full of adoration.

You’re already grateful for your stay here – even if it’s going to be brief.

Even if it’s all based on a lie.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: let’s pretend this isn’t late sdflkjfsdlkjf anyway!! 

[kyotakumrau]

A thread with the 1st slot report from azifxxx, Zepp Tokyo with Kyo and Shinya

F: Hello everyone at Zepp Tokyo! I'm DIR's manager Fujieda.

T: I'm manager Takabayashi.

F: today in Tokyo it's the last day (...) now I'd like to invite two band members to start the talk event! Give them applause!

Shinya arrives, then Kyo.

Kyo wore a black beret and big glasses, blackish grey jacket, some yellow badge on the left side? and grey denim. Shinya (Yamo-chan) wore all black, double jacket? it looked very soft. When entering the stage Kyo did 'Fujifuji pose' to F...

F: today Kyo and Shinya came to the event! How are you doing, the two of you?

S: I'm always fine. 24h a day. Just got bit foolish in Sendai due to snow...

K: yeah... I'm also good...

F: for both of you it's your second time, going straight to the point what's the most impactful/memorable thing in 2020 for you?

S: not COVID?

F: from the band's point of view it is.

S: it didn't feel like being in a band. There were no concerts at all.

F: for you, Kyo? (pretending to eat)

K: PS5.

S: I see.

K: I couldn't get it. That's all I can think about.

S: I want it too, but not that much... can you play Dead by Daylight on PS5? having ps4 edition?

K: you can.

S: then I want it. I also applied for it, but as I wasn't contacted I don't think I won.

F: there's nothing besides PS5?

K: the fan who said in the message they're getting it next day, they are probably playing right now..  I get angry again when I think about it. And not just a bit....(F: what would you do if after you got PS5?) Eh? I have to say it each time？💢 (makes dissatisfied sound and turns away, for a while stays silent) 

F passes them the merch items.

S&K: ... (silently checking the items)

When prompted to say something

S: mini water bottle.. is for when you go out for a bit...

K: is that a pig?

S: it's a bear

But it has 3 fingers? The hoofs? 

S: a bear isn't like that? 

K: but only 3 fingers?! 

K: you draw 3 or 4 fingers for a bear! A horse gets 2! is the claw here (between the fingers?)? the claws come out here (pointing back of the hand)? 

S: there are no fingers there (in the back of the hand) 

K: and it is listening standing in front of the speaker? Its ears will get bad! Listening to such loud sound in front of the speaker! you will go nuts! 

F: so Kyo, you were praising the choker a lot in Osaka. 

K: ... (looks at the choker) ...(starts to tie the choker)...(puts the choker in front of F) 

F: it can be tied up? Is that a good point? Ah, you mean that it can be displayed like this? It's a very popular item so everyone please get one! 

Today there are only two tables, on the right (kamite) sits Shinya with Takabayashi, on the left (shimote) Fujieda with Kyo 

F: any no-no topics for the questions? (S says nothing) I hope it’ going to be interesting... what kind of outfit are you wearing today? 

S: I’m wearing black... the hood is...(hesitates) like Penyu 

K: (smiling😊) 

S: I realized today that it’s like Penyu. Not because Kyo came today as well. 

K: suddenly getting closer, feels bad 

F: Kyo... today you’re also wearing a total outfit idea? 

K: you think there’s a theme? 

F: a bit... like in an older coffee shop.... cafe... like sitting in a coffee shop... 

K: it’s monochrome checkers! 

F who got told it's checkers went 'i see~'

K: what, so today's theme is let's have a smoke or let's go to a cafe?

The usual atmosphere... like Kyo who always corners F until he's lost what to say

Ta chooses a question: 'what's the memorable small (v-kei) venue for the band members?'

S: Area or Cyber recently got closed, right? I really don't remember... didn't we only play at Rock-may-kan? I think no small venues [we played at] are left in Kansai? only Cowboy or Muse Hall.

K: I guess only Rock-may-kan.

Ta: how about for Shibere Bajiru?

K: with going straight to Shibire (like paying too much attention?), is that a shoulder pad. No? I wanted to see~

F: Cyber, Area is a very sad news... K, you don't have any [venues]?

K: not really...

Ta: 'what's the book you've recently read or a movie you've seen?'

S: ehm... nothing much... I also don't really read manga. But I've seen Demon Slayer. I got into it after watching anime.

K: heh, about Demon Slayer, I ordered the comics to be delivered, but only volumes 4~8 came. Am I supposed to start from vol 4? Wouldn't it be horrible? don't wanna start there

K: there's this thing I have, only get into it after it stops being so popular. I also didn't watch yesterday.

F: what kind of books do you read?

K: I read various things ... but I'm really excited about the new story from the Innocent.

Ta: 'what's your kanji of the year?'

S: 心・kokoro from 心夜・Shinya

Ta: isn't that the same every year?

K: for me... nothing really.

Ta: what was it this year (officially)?

S: 密・mitsu・crowd/carefulness, right?

K: (still trying to think) ...nothing really.

F: 'if you were to play on a different position in a band?'

S: by elimination only the guitar is left.

K: not the vocals? You're going for the guitar??

S: I'm not going for the vocals...

K: but you sing in karaoke?

S: I can't sing...

K: there's emotional singing! You're often angry!

S: I haven't gotten angry in 10+ years

K: but you sing the chorus!

S: but there's only short phrase with the chorus...

K: but you're doing lotsa of choruses

S: well... I'm practicing...but vocals are the most impossible for me...

'If you done something else than vocals?'

K: Takumi's position is good, watching the band members from the side, if it's something else than vocals then from the side is good.

S: but you like bass? That's the only idea I have for you.

K: that's only when song writing though!?

S: but you've been playing everywhere, right?

K: where everywhere? I haven't!

S: you have that time... (=sukekiyo)

Ta: aren't we going fast today? 'is there any country you'd like to visit?'

S: if possible I don't want to go...

K: but you're always going somewhere alone. To play board games etc

S: it only happened because I was already going.

Ta: Kyo doesn't want to go like "I'm!Not!Going!"

K: I'm playing a bit online games (Fortnite), but I'm told I suck at it. When you suck at something it's usually better to quit, I'm told so, many times, why is this guy going that way or is he going to the enemy's site on purpose? I'm told things like that from 6:30 in the morning sometimes.

K: if I (my heart) get broken by that how should I continue living?

S: I'm being told 'how are you living?'. I'm using the pig character but it feels like I'm living like a pig. I can block out the talk, but I'd rather hear those terrible opinions.

K: but it's hard

S: it is really hard.

K: when I played with Fujieda it was going well! He told me, get down or make your nose bigger

S: it also went well when we played, don't go there, let's go there and so on.

K: but the fights take about 20 mins in DbD, right? I'm dead in Fortnite in about 10 seconds

Ta: 'what do you like about F?'

S: he's always full of energy and almost never gets sad

K: his nose? Doesn't it get bigger as you look at it?

F: is that a praise?

K: it's easy to breathe and the mask stays on. Hands down it's your nose.

F: 'what song would you like to listen to very loudly?'

S: I'm not good with loud sounds... I prefer to listen quietly.

F: what do you listen to nowadays?

S: our new song(s)

K: I also don't want to listen (loudly), not really...

F: how about a song to listen quietly?

K: nothing special

F: Fujifuji!x

K: (ignoring him) (removes invisible dust from his shoulder)

Ta: 'what would you ask Santa for?'

S: it would be PS5?

K: Me? After all of that, I don't need it anymore, don't come. How does he get inside? There is no chimney. Is he picking a lock? Is Santa like a cockroach? Pretending to be dead when they're not... but maybe Santa is fine with all of that.

K: in the past, when I was in elementary school I was happy when Santa came, but then at some point he stopped coming. Wasn't that a crime (Santa's visits)? and parents also don't know how he comes in, isn't that scary? And from that time he doest come. I don't want him to come anymore.

'What song do you want to play when you can do concerts again?'

S: And Zero. I saod that in Sendai as well, but if it's not mode of Arche we probably won't...

Kyo: I don't really have one..

F: Do you want to play new songs?

K: I haven't listen to it (them). Isn't it how it is that you listen to them even when you weren't planning to? you dot feel like listening so much to the song you made yourself, no?

S: I also haven't listened to the new song(s) much.

Ta: Fujieda is listening to new songs a lot, in a car.

K: isn't that a bit narcissistic?

F: you don't want to perform new songs?

S: I already did while filming the music videos... doesn't that count?

'what time you go to bed and wake up?'

S: I go to bed at 6 and wake up at 1pm. It's my cycle.

K: I go to sleep at 1 and wake up around half nine. Should be around then? So there's someone who wants to know information like this?

F: they want to imagine (their lives)

K: and for what? Even if they know the time they don't know what we do

K: what time you wake up and then what time do you make coffee, make a toast, I don't understand why asking that, what's the point?

F: Shinya, is there something you'd like to know about Kyo?

S: I want to know everything.

K: I hate it that this person is called a doctor.

F: when the band has just started you two have met as first, right? What was your impression then?

S: I thought he's a really good person.

K: ...Oh?

F: And did you hit it off/became friends?

K: he didn't speak like this then. He spoke one or two things a day. He had long black hair and earrings.

S: You've bleached that black hair for me.

K: and, he said 'thank you' but... he said his kanji of the year is 心・heart, but he's the one without one. For over 20 years all band members are saying that he's like a robot or humanoid. When you go to his house he will reply with 'what is it?' with the chain on the door.

S: this is because when a certain member came some things happened...

K: But when I came over I was nice! I want to  visit! Remodel stuff! (with enthusiasm)

S: remodeling... (like the certain member) there are issues like that and that's why you're banned...

'is it weird if your mother comes to the concerts?'

K: isn't it okay?

S: and brings dad...

K: I'd love to see mother headbanging. The deep one when you start from waist!

F: do your parents come to the shows?

S: mine often come.

F: your parents as well, Kyo?

K: sometimes.

F: is it something you welcome?

K: yeah.

And then F asked when they came last time but probably T said nlt to ask something like that

About the avatar Music Clip for the 12/31 stream.

S: the video looks like PS2 game..

K: like that from Virtua Fighter.

The last comments

Shinya: Thank you for today. I think we won't be able to meet for a while, but there will be the nye stream and also a knot calendars, I hope you will spend the next year using them. Let's meet again.

Kyo: We couldn't meet at all this year, but after this long time seeing everyone's faces I calm down. I think it's a good thing. Everyone knows through social media what others are doing, but it is important to meet in person. We will be looking into concert plans, hope you stay tuned and thank you.

[hajimewhore]

Body Swap 👫 (Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader) ➸Rated T, fem!Reader, 1.8k words   ➷Humor, awkwardness, lots of swearing, more d*ck talk but mild mild nothing goes on, just very uncomfy, the secondhand embarrassment is real in there (like every part honestly)   ➷ Masterlist, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, ✈Part 4, Part 5

“Uh, this… isn’t what it looks like?” 

Come’s your kneejerk response to Tooru’s exaggeratedly disgusted expression, you can tell he’s about 0.2 seconds away from throwing a fit.

“I went out of my way to wait for you, because I’m that good of a friend, you’re welcome. But you were taking so long, I figured I’d come in and drag you guys out. So. can someone please explain,” he shoots you (Hajime in his perception) a hard look, “What the hell is this?!”

Tooru is flushed in the face, and though his stellar performance and comical gestures were entertaining, you balk a bit at his outburst.

It’s a bit intense, and you feel a nervous sweat down your back. You can seldom say you’ve been on the receiving end of Tooru’s anger, and your struggling to come up with the right words to save face.

“I can explain?”

And what you came up with turned out to be excruciatingly underwhelming, and the baffled look Hajime sends you tells you that he also found your response pathetic.

Being in Hajime’s body with your hands clutched at his skirt, pulling away as if the garment was crafted using hot coals the second Tooru made an entrance, You’ll admit... it looked highly incriminating, and you’re going have some painful explaining to do.

“Well it looks like you’ve got your dirty hands on my bestfriend,” Tooru opts to refer to your actual self as his bestfriend, “What, Iwa-chan, can’t get any action? Trying to cop a feel before school? I didn’t think you were like that!”

He finishes the first segment of his rant with a huff. Under normal circumstances, you’d be appreciative of the rank up on his bestfriend list. Currently though, Tooru is getting under your skin, and as young man, you’re a little offended that he’s talking to you like that.

Tooru takes two strides (curse his long legs) across the threshold of your house, eyes narrowing in on you.

You glances to Hajime to ease the situation, he’s the only one that can say anything to help alleviate the situation.

Tooru follows your gaze, eyeing skeptically for an explanation. Hajime clears his throat, and you think you just might be saved. He’s always been quick to resolve altercations, whether its verbally or physically.

“....Hajime wanted me to wear my skirt shorter, but I said it was against school dress code.”

Hajime states as a matter of fact, and you gasp, what the fuck Hajime, but Tooru’s absolutely scandalized gasp overshadows your own.

“You asshole, that’s not—” 

Tooru is quick to interrupt you,

“You absolute heathen Iwa-chan! Who knew you’d turn out to be such a dog!”

Tooru snags your collar with a tight fist, and you instinctively wrap your hand around his.

Uh... you’re not gonna have to fight Tooru, are you? It’s Hajime’s body, so you’d gladly let him get bruised up as retribution for that comment, but you’re not too keen on getting punched in the face by Tooru protecting your own dignity.

“It’s not like that!”

You scramble for a way to dig yourself out of this one. Tooru’s locked his glare on you, exuding pressure.

“Then what is it like Iwa-chan?”

You glance from Tooru’s scowl to see Hajime’s smug expression behind him, your brow ticks at the sight of it. 

‘That little...’

Weren’t you just saying last night how excellent of an actress you were? Time to put that to the test.

You forcefully remove Tooru’s fist from your collar, adjusting your tie. Tooru allows you to gather yourself for a moment, scorn still etched across his features.

Averting your eyes to the side with a serious, contemplative gaze, you muster all the dramatics you can to pull off your next line. Internally, you think smugly that you must appear picture perfect for a drama noir film. If only it were raining too, that would set the atmosphere ideally. But an actress must work with what she’s got. 

Tooru seems decently invested in your dramatics, and Hajime is looking at you with contempt, as if he drank sour milk. Now that a pregnant pause has settled in and you’ve garnered the crowd’s interest, you sigh, long and wistfully,

“She never wears her skirt like that... I thought she might be struggling with her self confidence, so I was just trying to make her feel comfortable with herself. I’m such a brute though, I guess I got carried away.”

You cast your gaze sheepishly to Tooru, rapping your knuckles lightly against the top of your head to emphasize your point.

Tooru blinks at the explanation, takes in the information, considers the evidence in his mind.

His eyes begin to water, as expected, tears brimming at his long lashes as he spins around to pull Hajime (AKA you) into a bone crushing hug. He’s got a suffocating grip on him, all the while crying about ‘Hajime’s’ reasoning.

“I didn’t even notice! Forgive your stupid bestfriend, I should’ve said something too! How did I miss that?!” his dramatics always seem to up yours, Tooru is currently stealing best-in-show from you, “Waaaah, I’m sorry, you’re perfect the way you are!”

He cries into what he thinks is your shoulder, no doubt using the fabric to wipe his face, much to Hajime’s disdain. Meanwhile, Hajime is glaring hard and venomously at you for that bullshit display.

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’

He mouths, and you stick your tongue out, giving him the cheekiest expression he’d never want to see on his own face.

“Whew, alright,” Tooru straightens, clearing his throat and flicking his last tear off with the swipe of a hand, “Now we really have to go. Hike that skirt up and let’s get on with our day.”

He’s back to picture perfect Oikawa Tooru, no evidence of his outburst to be seen (asides from the wet spot on Hajime’s shoulder).

You try to grunt in agreement as casual and Hajime-like as you can.

For the sake of getting to school on time without any further incidents, Hajime pulls the uniform skirt up a tad higher, vowing to lower it when you fucking nuisances are out of the picture.

Your final class is almost over, and you’re feeling.... extremely uncomfortable.

Not because the school day went bad, no, you found it easy to converse with his classmates and teachers. Notetaking was relatively simple, you’re learning the same material as Hajime anyways.

You’re physically uncomfortable, and the pressure of your bladder about to burst is driving you crazy.

‘I can’t take it any more!’

You shoot your hand up, and your teacher gives you an odd look before you excuse yourself to the restroom.

You head to the furthest end of the building, the women’s restroom is generally vacant so the men’s should be the same, yeah? And you definitely don’t want to be caught in the women’s, despite how empty it could possibly be. So with a heavy sense of shame, you waddle into the men’s room.

If someone’s in there, it’ll be fine. Just be in, and out. No big deal.

Oh. 

Oh fuck no.

“Iwaizumi, hey.”

Matsukawa fucking Issei glances up to the door you just waltzed through. Matsukawa Issei, middle for the Seijou men’s team, tall and messy haired flirt, the same Matsukawa Issei that helps you with your blocks and techniques, friend of Tooru and Hajime... and he’s staring straight at you with a casual nod of his head. 

You try to return it as casually as possible, despite your bones and every being shaking in you. 

‘Fuck, I forgot men I actually know use the men’s room.’

“...Mattsu–” nope not Mattsun (so much for being casual, you almost fucked up the way Hajime refers to Matsukawa), “–kawa.”

He raises an eyebrow for the briefest second, before returning his attention to the urinal, unzipping his pants. Un. Zipping. His. Pants.

He doesn’t give you much time to dwell on the slip up, already entering conversation about how your day is, to which you give short response to, trying not to shuffle your feet to the urinal. You really don’t want him to catch on to your discomfort.

You heavily contemplate just going into a stall, but you think that might be weird for guys to do. Now that you think about it, isn’t it weird to piss in the urinal directly next to the other guy? If you chose one spaced out would he get offended? Goddamnit, you never learned men’s room etiquette. Screw this whole situation, and screw Matsukawa Issei for needing to relieve himself at this exact time. 

Well, it’s too late now, you’re already standing at the one directly next to Mattsun. You can’t exactly take your sweet time picking another urinal and shuffling about while Mattsun is here engaging you in conversation about his fucking math class.

If it was weird to choose the spot beside him, Mattsun doesn’t say anything about it, going about his business. 

Thankfully, if you could even be thankful for a situation like this, you’re so overwhelmed by Mattsun’s unexpected presence that it’s keeping your mind off the having-Hajime’s-dick thing. The discomfort is still there, but you have to pee so badly, you’re not too bothered by it at the moment. You’re also intently focusing on not blushing, willing the blood flow to your cheeks to cooperate with you for once.

Simultaneously, you’re concentrating on not looking at Matsukawa fucking Issei’s junk. You’re getting good at multitasking.

But apparently, not good enough. Your willpower wasn’t as strong as you thought, and your focus slips for a moment as you gaze down and–was someone going to tell you that Matsukawa fucking Issei was HUNG?

“Is there something wrong with my dick?”

You shoot your eyes back up to Mattsun, who’s tilting his head with a thick brow raised. 

‘Hajime, if you hear about this, I am so sorry.’

“Nope, it’s perfectly fine,” you respond curtly, before coming to the realization that Hajime probably wouldn’t like you telling his friends that their dicks are ‘perfectly fine’, “I mean, no. It’s seriously ugly.”

You cringe at your save, if you could call it that, and Mattsun (finally) zips up. He casts a momentarily offended look at you.

“I think you mean ‘seriously huge’.” 

He laughs deeply, heading to the sink. You completely agree with that sentiment, and you’re glad he knows he’s well endowed, but it’s best to keep those thoughts to yourself.

You follow suit, laughing as sarcastically as you can without letting your voice crack. 

“Whatever, man.”

You proceed to have awkward sink talk with Mattsun, and upon exiting the restroom you thank the gods when you see his class is the opposite way to yours. 

“See you at practice.”

He waves, and when Mattsun is out of sight, you sigh in immense relief. 

Just how many dicks are you going to see before you swap back? You sob internally, returning to your class.

But that does bring up a point, Men’s Volleyball Practice. 

You’re marginally grateful for that encounter with Mattsun, because now you’re acutely aware of the locker room changing time before and after practice. 

You bury your face in your arms, taking note to sprint like hell and get to practice early. You’ll be damned if you have to spend any amount of time struggling to avoid eye contact with your friends’ abs, as well as Hajime’s other teammates'.

A/N: AHAHA the CHAOS. Anyways, we all know Matsukawa got that horsec*ck. Thanks for tuning in for this week’s episode of y/n’s awkward panic. Iwaizumi Is So Done. 

taglist: @cybergovl​ @thatoneoddgirl8 @keijikunn 

Masterlist, Part 5

[veiledsilver]

Top five moments you've felt like the universe was messing with you.

Oh boy everyone get ready this is a long list. In descending order, from mildly funny looking back on it to "oh god oh shit oh fuck":

5. Catfishing: College Edition

In 6th grade, I decided to apply to colleges early to see how they were like. I was scared that if they knew I was too young, they'd arrest me. So I created a gmail account as my persona, a white 12th grader named Emilie Alexander. Emilie was planning to go into nursing, dating a high school linebacker named Kyle Kenderson, and deathly allergic to bee stings. If she even came near a bee, she would die.

This part was of the utmost importance.

See, I was constantly paranoid that one day, the jig would be up- I might forget that my fake last name was Alexander. Or the college dean might come knocking at my door and tear up my home in his mad search for Emilie. If that happened I would fake her tragic death, presumably caused by one big fucking bee.

I secretly collected my information. What nearby states were the prettiest to visit. Which colleges were the safest and most affordable. How often they held courses that I liked. In my emails with colleges I tried to sound as mature and professional as possible.

Then, one day, a college member asked me what high school I was in, so they could check my records.

My blood froze.

It was time to bring out the bee.

In response to their question, I sent an email that was like this:

"Dear Mr. McLaughlin, I was a proud graduate of- ugh! Ah! Kyaaaa! Uwaa! W-w-what's this... huge goddamn bee doing here?! Eek, pardon my foul language! It's just that, as I told you earlier, being stung by a bee would kill me.... and now it's stung me thrice (three times)!!

What do I do?! I can't die... I've always wanted to attend your beautiful college...

But this is... the end...

Mr. McLaughlin...

*looks at you sadly*

Tell... my mother... I loved her...

*dies*"

He never responded, probably because he was rendered speechless, but I never touched that account again.

My private gmail for fun stuff like tumblr still has "Alexander" as a surname, though.

4. Wild and Authentic

Alright. Alright. So. My art teacher in middle school.

Right off the bat, they endeared themselves to the tumblr art kids- they proudly used they/them pronouns, dyed their hair vibrant colors, deeply encouraged OC creation, and was chill with any art style even if it was anime. Mx. Mason was very cool, except for one thing.

We had complete artistic freedom when it came to their assignments, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.

Drumroll, please.

Take a deep breath if you must.

Ready?

...

Cats had to have extremely distinct whisker pores.

YES, they believed that modern depictions of cats were too streamlined. Too... idealized. As a cat owner themselves, they were convinced that society's vision of cats did not do their feral feline ancestors justice. In making their faces flawlessly smooth-furred, we were stripping the cat of its true nature.

I found this out the hard way, when I was drawing warrior cats fanart for class (it was of Firestar cuddled in the arms of an orange haired anime catgirl who was his reincarnation in my first ever comic series, Warriors Neko Desu! ♡ Heart Academy Dokidoki).

Mx. Mason came over to look at my magnum opus, and I expected them to have their socks knocked off at my artistic talent. They lifted up my drawing for all to see, and I smugly leaned back in my seat.

Only for them to launch into a passionate lecture about how, in neglecting to draw whisker pores on cats, I was DENYING THIS FICTIONAL CAT OF ITS WILD AUTHENTIC SELF.

My friends absolutely lost it when I told them this story, and there was a period of time when all our discord nicknames were wild and authentic too.

As for Firestar and his counterpart Hoshineko Orenji-chan, I never did give them wild authentic whisker holes, but that's to be expected of a kittypet, I guess.

3. Stan Jungkook Or Whatever

A couple years ago, my family and I flew to Seoul, South Korea, to visit our relatives and teach me more about my heritage. It was very nice! I got to visit shrines and festivals and palaces, and I was in awe that this was what my ancestors had once seen in their daily lives.

Then, when we went to the modern side of Korea, I realized just how much I didn't fit in.

It was clear that I didn't know how to act, or how to speak Korean, and I spent my days fumbling around and getting scammed multiple times by salesmen. But I clowned myself the most... during an interactive event with kpop stars.

They had this experimental event where holograms of the boys would sing onstage and dance in place of the actual idols. Before the show began, girls could stand in booths that scanned their appearances, and holograms of THEM could dance onstage with the hologram boys.

I didn't know this.

When Cousin Ae-cha told me to step inside one of the machines, I thought I'd be hilarious and stand backwards, so it would scan the back of me instead of my front. As I walked out, I saw other girls putting on their best makeup, cutest clothes, and most expensive accessories, and I slowly realized that I was in danger.

But the danger didn't come until halfway through the concert, where the boys looked eagerly off-stage and a holy staircase appeared and all the hologram girls descended from heaven. There were cherry blossoms. There were roses. There was me, among the crowd of beautiful airbrushed girls, walking backwards.

I felt the judgemental gazes of twenty girls and their mothers.

Each boy danced with a girl, who got a cute animated moment with special effects, and sang about how they found a dream girl to have a true love romance with. Finally, all the girls vanished except one, and it was me.

One of the boys didn't dance with any girls, and now he was all alone in the rain, feeling dejected that HE did not find his true love girl to have a dream romance with. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I emerged. Still backwards.

He was thrilled and sang about how my face (that he didn't see) stole his heart, and now everyone in the audience was giggling, and he slowly brought me very close to kiss me... but because I was backwards, his nose was cutely nuzzling my hair.

The audience members- at least the adults- were now laughing their asses off. His lips met the back of my head, and together we vanished into the wind.

I'd say I couldn't show my face there ever again, but I never did show my face, so... hm...

2. Horrid Little Temptress

If I wasn't a minor, I'd need a drink before starting this story. Sadly, I cannot drown my sorrows- and neither should you after you hear this, because it's only fair.

Mrs. Appleby was my Spanish teacher in like, 9th grade. Even the wild and authentic art teacher thought she was insane. Appleby forced kids to brew tea for her and yelled at them when they didn't get it right, and I thought she had a chronic squint until I realised she just did that to mock me and my Asian eye-folds. She forced us to watch Dora the Explorer to "absorb knowledge." Everyone fucking hated Mrs. Appleby.

But the worst thing she ever did... was during the school festival.

See, whenever she's angry, she zooms right into kids' faces to scream at them. Her wrinkled flesh would blot out the goddamn sun and all you see are her bloodshot yellow eyeballs so victims just stayed rooted to the spot like cornered animals or something similar. This is important.

Because when she was sampling her own brownies (read: hoarding them so no one else could eat them), one parent foolishly decided to grab one and she thought it was a student and she grabbed his wrist so hard she could've nearly snapped it and... and... zoomed into his face.

Except she underestimated his height and kissed him by accident, but it was more like her mouth was sucking in his face like a vacuum.

His wife was shrieking like an ape. His kid, my classmate, saw his social life flash before his eyes.

In her defense, she did not mouth to mouth with him on purpose and afterwards she cried in the bathroom and when I foolishly followed her in to comfort her, because I am a teacher's pet through and through, she snatched the paper towels I got for her and wailed that she was a-

A-

HORRID LITTLE TEMPTRESS.

If I had decided to not be kind, I never would've heard that string of fucking words. But I did. And I paid for it dearly. The end.

1. Violence IS The Answer, Sometimes

Thomas, my dearly detested.

Back in sixth grade, I used to have a crush on him because he had the surfer boy look with nicely tanned skin and pale blond hair and the clearest aquamarine eyes I've ever seen. He also liked surfing and swimming. He seemed like the perfect little trophy waifu except for one absolute dealbreaker.

He and his parents were extremely conservative and so, when I told him I liked him, his response was basically "haha no you're a [slur] and would probably eat my dog."

I was horrified and ran away to cry. But then, by the next day, I decided I needed to punish him. Thomas walked in before class started and I was waiting for him with these hands. I kicked him so he doubled over, slammed his face into his chair's seat, and quickly clambered on top of him to SIT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. He started shaking and twitching and trying to pry me off, but eventually he went limp and stopped moving.

I thought he fell asleep, but Mohammed, another classmate who was bullied by Thomas, told me that Thomas might never wake up again (not that he was very sad about this. I didn't know until later, but Thomas said slurs at him too).

While I was sitting on the guy, he'd straight up passed out from the lack of oxygen.

Screaming and crying, I told our homeroom teacher that Thomas suddenly fainted, and she was the type of Caucasian that thought all little Asian kids were sweet and innocent, so it didn't even cross her mind that? It might've been me? Who sat on his head when she walked in?

He was sent home early that day. I had to go to a different school next year because Thomas's mom threatened legal action. The only reason I didn't get punished further was because my rich cousins out-Karen'd her and donated a huge amount of money to the school to keep them quiet.

Anyway, I never did anything that insane ever again, because something like that is enough for a lifetime. My cousins made it clear they would never back me up again. I was sure this whole event would be put behind me, too.

But last fall, during my first day of online learning... who did I see in my zoom meeting... BUT THOMAS! I had my mic and camera off, but the moment he saw my name, his face went pale. His soul would've left his body, but then it would've gone to hell, so it wisely decided to stay inside.

Still, out of shame and embarrassment, I never turned my camera on for the rest of the school year.

[voidcat]

– Stardust

Characters: Oikawa Tooru/You

Genre: fluff/comfort, heart to heart on reader’s part (questioning your place in the universe and all)

Summary: Sleep does not come some nights when it gets loud inside your head. Pebbles thrown at your window feels something out of movies. Oikawa Tooru being the one to do feels unreal. So you do what everyone does in dreams, is this a dream?, and follow his lead.

Word Count: 4.3k (i poured my heart out pls respond)

A/N: I didn’t write it with a song in mind but Kimochi Warui (When?  When? When? When? When? When? When?) sounded fitting while proofreading. Take it as a suggestion if you want.  – ao3 - PART 2

It’s late. 

Too late to still be up. Too late to be thinking like this. 

Too late to be up, awake, vibrating with all these overwhelming thoughts filling your head, wanting to break free, scratching the inside of your skull like feral animals, dying to get out.

It’s late and you keep lying down just like that. Hands clasped over your stomach, eyes locked onto the ceiling, trying not to think, keeping your mind blank like a newly bought sketchbook.

You lie like that for seconds feeling like hours and hours feeling like seconds.

You lie awake, the dim moon light entering your room lazily. All too familiar thoughts plaguing your mind, telling things you’ve known since childhood over and over and over until you grow numb to the noise.

Tck.

You consider checking the time but you’re afraid it’ll still be too early for the new day to start.

Tck.

Was that an actual sound or the newest trick of your mind?

Tck.

They say third time is the charm. Third time also means it’s too much of a specific occurrence to be a coincidence. The noise seems to be coming from outside, something small hitting your window.

Irritation and curiosity taking over you at last, not to mention boredom, you make way to the window and open it.

You see Oikawa Tooru of all people waving with his phone at you, a little aggressively.

Walking back to your nightstand and picking up your phone, you receive a message.

>[Does your folks wake up early?]

>[Or check up on you first thing in the morning?]

[No. why?] Hitting the send button you wait, walking back there and looking at him again. Face lightened by the glow of his phone, you can make up his eyes and nose.

>[Wear something warm.]

>[And make that spicy tea thingy you like so much if you want.]

>[I’m waiting by the door.]

Weird is seeing Oikawa Tooru under your window at an hour no one else is awake. Him telling you to get dressed and come outside? That’s creepy and worrying.

[Why]

>[I’m doing you a favor out of the goodness of my heart for once.] You want to roll your eyes at that. Since when does he know what being good means? Towards you especially.

>[No shady business, I promise.]

>[Trust me.]

As if knowing what went in your mind, these texts show up on your screen. You come to a halt.

Your relationship with Oikawa was never good. You would ignore one another on the good days and be utterly destructive and spiteful on the bad days. He never gave you a reason or made a gesture to earn your trust, you don’t even recall hearing those words from him much. They are reserved for Iwaizumi and the team only.

So why do you find yourself in a dilemma, as if there’s something to choose, a decision to make? Because the logical thing for you to do, the in-character thing for you to do, is to say no, go back to bed and hope to fall asleep at some point. The usual set of action for you is to refuse whatever he has to offer and go back to your own thing.

But you’re done with the logical and the in-character. So you send a quick [I’ll be down in 5.], make way to prepare something warm first and change your clothes as you wait for it to heat up. A sweatshirt should be enough.

Being too lazy and out-of-it to function once in a while pays, because instead of having to brew the tea and wait for a long while, you just heat up the already brewed and stashed one and pour it to your thermos.

Silently opening the door and getting out, you see Oikawa leaning against the wall.

He walks away when he sees you, you follow without a word. Soon enough you’re met with a car. Since when he has a car?

Wait, no. Don’t ask, don’t wait for an answer. Don’t look at the stupid car, don’t examine it. It is a dream after all, right? What’s the point in observing things when you’ll forget about them first thing in the morning?

Following his lead, you get inside the passenger seat, hear him start the engine, watch his hand reach for the stereo. A low hum arise.

It sounds like he picked a channel on random, the music isn’t bad per se, the volume is down. So it doesn’t exactly bother you either. Getting comfortable in your seat and resting your head against the window, you watch the blur of images go by.

There is no moon tonight, the only source of light is the street lamps coming into view and leaving as fast. Houses, buildings, trees, everything belonging to the day pass by in a fog and smear of colors. Almost like a quick brush of oil paint. It’s calming in a quiet before the thunderstorm kind of way.

As the road goes under the wheels, less and less houses come in to your view.

“Where to?”

Oikawa gives you a quick glance. He almost looks surprised to see you speak. Did he just assume you’d stay quiet all night?

“You’ll see.” His tone doesn’t match his face.

“What’s the meaning of it?”

“Consider it a favor.” This marks the end of your short lived conversation.

You don’t need to recognize the road he takes to understand he’s driving out of town, out of Miyagi. The why of it keeps floating in your head, you can’t apply the ‘it’s a dream’ tactic any more either, you are too awake for that, in both senses.

Turning your attention back on the sidelines, you let your mind wander off to meaningless assumptions.

A light behind the trees, you imagine a lonely night creature, lurking around to find his lost love.

You spot an animal you can’t identify and make up a story about an once-successful maiden, falling fool to a wicked spell.

You look at the trees and imagine nature coming to life in humanoid form, mutating and taking its revenge on human race.

Hearing a ribbit nearby and you recall the time your mother read you the Princess and the Frog years ago.

You turn left to look at Oikawa. Finding your phone inside your pocket and raising it in a show-and-tell manner, you wait for him to take notice and turn off the stereo. You press play.

Satie’s Once Upon A Time In Paris fills the air.

You note the relaxation in his shoulders. You let the melody take over your body as well.

Closing your eyes and holding your hands in the air, you can see the keys in front of you.

Hitting the keys one by one, reaching for the pedal, you can feel it flow through you. Head moving on its own, dancing with the melody, Gymnopedie no.1 as calm and serene as ever. Simple like a short quote on love from a poet.

It ends silently, Gnossienne no.3 enters with much more emotion.

It’s almost comical how many times you’ve played this exact piece but almost never listened to others playing. It sounds like you in some ways, some tints and emphasis different than how you’d play but that’s all you got right now.

You don’t need to break out of the music’s hold or open your eyes to catch Oikawa’s gaze on you once in a while. You went through all this before on so many occasions. Be it on public transportation and a piece you connect with comes on, you can’t stop your fingers from trying to play it on air, making keys out of nitrogen and oxygen in the air. Your body starting to move on its own after a while. Strangers giving you funny looks all the while.

The notes gain meaning and heaviness, hanging in the air and making way for the following ones as fast.

When the B bemols come, you can feel a stinging feeling in your eyes.

Since when does Gnossienne no.3 make you want to cry? Why now of all times?

You don’t care, you don’t want the answers, you don’t want to understand or reach a new level of understanding within yourself. Just shutting yourself out completely and taking in all the music with a deep breathe, you lean back as far as you can into the seat.

Gnossienne no.4 starts and your hands no longer itch to play.

When Oikawa pulls up at last, the music has long ended.

Getting off with your thermos in one hand, you look around.

Not a single building, a sign of life in sight. Where the hell did he bring you?

You can see his figure searching for something in the back seat, some shuffling reaches your ear. You look at the few and far between trees in the distance. It is a dead night. Not even wind, not even some comical tumbleweeds are in sight to add some motion. Time has stopped completely.

You don’t realize Oikawa’s signals for the second time that night, just as you didn’t hear him throwing pebbles at your window.

Noticing the loud thud, as him patting the hood of his car a little too late, only when he starts to get loud, you look back up. He’s sitting there, patting the space next to him, the gesture all too familiar.

Your mind wanders back to the moments you’d do the same, asking your cat to come sit with you, listen to you ramble, maybe purr for you, hear your sobs or meow at your antics. Tilting your hand with her head, bumping your legs with her tail. Those moments painted golden, filtered with a gray film, already gone, leaving nothing but a sharp pain in your chest.

You climb and sit, careful not to have any physical contact with him.

“Why are we here?” you try one last time.

“I didn’t want to be alone.” He says. Nodding your head at that, you’re not exactly surprised. The way he always surrounds himself with people, no matter the proximity and bond he shares with them.

He answered a question, maybe he can answer few more before I drive him to the limit, you think. “Why me?” This nags at your brain more than any other current question you have for him.

“It seemed fitting.”

“Why not Hajime or Makki, or even Mattsun?”

“Iwa-chan has come on little trips such as this with me before. I didn’t want to drag him tonight. Asking anyone else I’m close with didn’t sound like a good idea. And frankly? You seemed like you could use a break like this today.”

Observant prick.

“So, what exactly? We share one cozy moment tonight and return to our daily selves of hating one another in the morning?” His silence is a yes enough. “Sure, sounds good then.”

After the little conversation, you are back examining the surroundings, the comforting stillness in the air, the silence, the emptiness and the blackness of it all.

It gets boring after a while. Not wanting to disturb Oikawa further and at a loss of what else to do in the middle of nowhere, you look up at last.

Oh.

You forget to breathe for a few seconds. And that doesn’t even seem to be a problem in your eyes.

Has he done this before? How long has he been going out at ungodly hours for this?

You knew Oikawa Tooru was obsessed with space and aliens, thanks to Iwaizumi, but you never expected it to be on a more serious, in-depth level. Not like this.

Never like this.

Billions of stars hanging in the night sky, most millions of years old, blinking from a long gone past, probably dead in their current time.

A calm breeze washing over your wholly, reminding you just how small you are, your life is and how it is all okay because in the big picture you’re all nothing but dust. Destined to be forgotten by history in few centuries, if not decades.

Seeing all these stars, colorful lights what you hope are planets, an arm of the Milky Way, flowing like a waterfall and you feel a sense of security you haven’t felt in a while.

There is something comforting about the night sky, the way it can show you your unimportance in the big picture, your place in all this. You feel whole with the universe. You belong.

So you look up, and up and up. Stare at the sky, blink at the stars, smile at the constellations you spot and remember their stories, the gods and the myths, the heroes and the queens…

You look back at Oikawa then. As if remembering only now that he is there by your side.

Facing the sky in a manner just like yours, you can see the stars on his face. Shining on his hair, cheeks and in his eyes. Almost like stardust.

He looks ethereal, unreachable, enchanting. And a little vulnerable. All that tension, layers of masks he puts on each day, all the fake smiles and empty look in his eyes are gone.

Raw and pure.

This is the truest of Oikawa you’ve ever seen.

The admiration can be read from his eyes. His face holding an emotion you’ve seen on him once or twice. Not intense like this, never like this. You’ve seen the same look on him for Iwaizumi but only for a second, when he’s sure no one is watching.

With the same eyes, he watches the starry night sky.

He looks like he belongs up there. Not in a “be an astronaut and go to space” but in a “should be there, amongst the stars, his memory up there, to be remembered by everyone gazing upon the starry night. Like a constellation, become a constellation, a legend and a story, and so much more, just like Orion and Andromeda.”

This is the closest to Oikawa Tooru you’ve ever been. The thought gives you a shiver.

Seeming to notice that, he gives you a puzzled look and raises his right arm. You realize the blanket around his form then. He’s making an offer.

“Don’t worry, three people can fit in easily, it’s wide enough for the both of us.” When his face turned to you, it’s dark, no source of light to reflect on his skin.

You scoot over to him, under the blanket. The two of you refocus back on the scene above you.

Remembering the little mug inside your front pocket, you open the lid of your thermos and start pouring some tea, the steam leaving a little trail behind. You hold out the mug to Oikawa, he just looks at you, the confusion clear on his face.

Why are you offering me the tea you brought for yourself?

What makes you think I’d trust you enough to taste something you made?

“We said tonight was our little secret, right? I can use the cap as a mug, don’t worry.”

Your words and clarification seems to convince him somewhat, holding the mug with both hands, he smells it before taking a sip.

Silence falls over again and it’s much nicer this time.

Not even the coldness can get to you or pull you out of the warm embrace you’re in. The warmth around your shoulders, more provided by the idea of the blanket than the blanket itself. Like a thin veil, separating the real world from your little bubble of escape.

It’s new moon, no reflecting lunar light to block your view of stars. Sitting under the tent of black, blue, white and red; it feels divine. Divine to live in the moment, to truly breathe, to witness something so enthralling and forever.

To stand by yourself, stripped bare of everything; your layers, titles, names and ticks, clothes and paints, to be a newborn again, to reborn again, all alone, in an endless room, empty and cold, filled with stars and gods, stories to tell and dreams to see.

To feel whole again, alone again, hopeless again but reach a self-realization again, to taste nectar and discover the secrets of the universe, converse with the long gone philosophers and waltz with supernovas.

You’re not alone. Not completely.

Maybe left alone with your thoughts in this dead land and you know how one can never have company in their own mind, forever trapped alone. Yet in that moment, you’re not alone. Moving your head to steal a glance at the boy next to you again, you understand it well. It all happens so fast.

“Isn’t it ironic? How as humans we use a word like ‘star’ for untouchable celebrities, important people and such while in reality stars are nothing but these giant balls of plasma-“ gesturing a ball with your hands now, thermos sitting between your legs, “-with their ongoing chemical reactions, sputtering molecules of hydrogen and helium and all, until they come to an end with their current phase of life. If you can call that life.” You say all these with your eyes locked onto the stars, Oikawa’s locked on you. You keep going.

“Speaking of life, what is even life? Aren’t we just a bunch of organic components somehow managing to come together, build a system and gain conscious somehow? Just trying to survive until an outer force comes or our cells come off? Isn’t it technically our cells living, in a way?”

“Aren’t we just piles of protein just walking around and doing things that make no sense but to us?  Until we come to an end with our current phase of life? Doing what we see fit or fun or appropriate until it all ends.” It’s not a question any more. He doesn’t give you an answer.

“Aren’t we all children of the stars in a different point of view? All our molecules and elements coming from them. I mean, look at them. We see them blinking and smirking and smiling at us but for all we know they could’ve ended long ago. They could’ve become part of a new life for all we know. They break down and give birth to us, pieces of us; and in return we go back to them when we are gone. Despite being made of stardust, we live pretty shit lives huh?” You give him a lopsided smile, facing him as you say your last words.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?” he replies.

“For far too long to pinpoint an exact date actually.” You almost say in a singsong voice. He frowns at that slightly.

“But I am right! Right? I mean, you’re a space nerd! You must know what I’m talking about.”

“Understanding and putting it into words in such a depressing way are two different things.”

Pouting at that, you look the opposite direction sharply. “Whatever, I know I am right.”

His gaze is still on you. “Is that what you’re like most of the time? I don’t get how Iwa-chan deals with you.” He must be shaking his head now.

“Iwa-chan can’t read minds last time I checked.” You deadpan.

His laugh fills the air at that. Light and lively, carefree; you doubt you’ve heard him laugh before. It sounds wonderful.

You wonder how things would’ve been between you and Oikawa, if the circumstances were different. If you never met Iwaizumi that day, would your paths still cross? Would you finish your Aoba Johsai years never meeting him?

Would you meet Oikawa on your own? Could you ever be friends, instead of dancing around one another and spitting out insults whenever you can? Would you like him in another world? Value his friendship, the person he is? Would the two of you have met before or become something more?

All these unanswered questions hanging in the air and you find yourself looking at him again.

His smile looks different now, he looks different, changed. Almost breathtaking. Is that what Iwaizumi means by his ‘fake smiles’?

A honest smile looks good on him.

You find yourself smiling back.

“Hey.” He nudges your shoulder with his. “If you still want to complain about the meaningless of life and all that, be my guest. I promise I won’t listen.”

Taken aback by his wording, you give him a confused look.

“Tonight doesn’t exist, remember?”

“…Right.” You decide to lean back and lie under the stars.

Feeling a tug at the blanket after a while, you see him placing the mug down next to the tire. You hand him your thermos as he regains his composure, he complies silently and leans back when he’s done.

All there is in the air is your faint breathing now. Never matching one another, sometimes loud, sometimes ghostly. There is no rhythm, no adjusting subconsciously. Completely independent.

You take a deep breath and start.

“It feels grey most of the time. Not in a ‘there’s never two sides, everything is grey, blah blah.’ But more like a numbness of grey.”

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything, nothing to show or to indicate that he is listening. You continue talking.

“Like lacking all color and feeling in life, blocking all there is to see and enjoy and I am left with nothing but… grey.

Grey to the point of everything is filtered, there are no boundaries, it all feels the same, plays the same and I am afraid. I am afraid of hurting. Hurting myself, being hurt myself and hurting the ones around me. Not the ones I love, I don’t even know love. What is love?” You turn to look at him.

“I tried thinking about it, reading about it, understanding it on a chemical and hormonal way. Consulted mathematics and never got an answer. It feels made up, a fairy tale to feel better, to attach ourselves to one another.

I fear I came across love and didn’t notice it, I fear I brushed it off for something else and now it’s too late.”

With each pause, it gets easier to speak, harder to talk. Finding the right words, using your vocal chords, moving your tongue, writing your sentences in your mind. You don’t feel the tears gathering around your eyes or going down your cheeks. You wait for the robot title, to be called heartless and how you have a rock in your chest. They never come.

“Do you really fear of hurting him?” There’s no doubt he is talking about Iwaizumi.

“I don’t know.”

“But you care for him.”

“I don’t know.”

“Think before you answer.” He says then, voice stern.

“I think I care for him but I fear I will ruin him.”

The unspoken ‘how so?’ is in the air.

“I feel grey to the point of dust and decay. I fear everything I touch either drives away from me or decays. I don’t want to lose him. I think I care for him. But I don’t want to watch him stay by my side and crumble one by one.

I don’t want to go from grey to blue.”

“Doesn’t he make you happy? I’ve seen genuine smiles on you when you’re with him. You almost light up when he enter a room or sits beside you.”

“What’s the point of happiness if it’s dependent on one person? It is not fair to either parties.”

He starts tsking. “Too many don’ts for that age. You’ll end up with wrinkles before your thirties.”

He stops prying after that.

The air begins to grow colder, a little breeze picks up.

The stars are as cold as ever, blinking diamonds in the sky.

You swear you see the arm of Milky Way coming into motion, flowing like a stream.

For what feels like an hour, it is quiescent. You decide to break it one last time.

“Speaking of stars, you and Iwaizumi are like neutron stars. Can be found alone or orbiting one another, chasing after each other, forever together and merged at last. Both stars on your own but as captivating when together.”

The hour taking its toll on you, your senses grow duller. You can’t hear his breathing without focusing, even the stars are getting blurry.

“Then you’re like a black dwarf.” Oikawa speaks up. “Because you feel unreal most of the time.”

You both fall back into silence. You don’t ask him if he meant it as a compliment and he doesn’t answer.

You don’t need to know which way he meant, in a way, you already know the response to that.

Tonight isn’t real. It’ll cease to exist in a few hours and you let these rare moments sink in. Probably the closest you’ll ever be to Oikawa Tooru, closest see him like this. It almost feels familiar, like you’ve done this before, went on stargazing with him and opened your heart out to him. It feels like a dream, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. You chuckle at your attempt of a joke lightly.

It is serene around the two of you and in your mind. A placidity you haven’t had without the help of  a distraction in a long while.

“Thanks Tooru.”

His name falls out of your lips like you use it on the daily. Like the comforting shuffle of a worn out sweater as you put it on, the chirping of this family of birds living by your house for decades, the warm meow of your cat when you’re headed to bed. It sounds natural.

Scooting closer to him until your head rests on his chest. He just wraps his arm around you, pulling you further. Not a single word on your way of addressing him. And not a word from you on his way of holding you.

The moment will cease to exist in the morning, along with your confessions and the blinking lights of the stars. In a few hours it’ll no longer be real. So you decide to give it a shot at being close to him in all senses, share something the two of you will never have. Wrapping your arm around his torso, listening closely to his heart. Your head under his chin, his hand atop yours, you fall asleep until the sun comes.

[sleepy-exe]

Shapeshifter AU - 4

Iwaizumi x f!reader

<< Part 3 | Part 5 >>

Summary: Iwaizumi goes stargazing with Y/n at a park in the forest. She tries to find out what he knows. She then stays the night with him for more info, but what’s the plan? Sakusa just wants his friend to be safe.

Word count: 2.8k 

Warnings: y/n makes bad choices, and is kind of a creep but confronts that, poor Sakusa’s driving skills get shit talked and he ain’t even here, murder mentioned (1) one time, I prob got too detailed with the car reveal, sakusa is best boy, iwa’s a total dad 

Genre: sfw (for now, 18+ regardless), shapeshifter au, strangers to potential enemies to friends to lovers

a/n: I probably wrote too much about the car, but I’m a car guy (gal? person?). I hope yall like stars/stargazing. This is like borderline fluff. Also did you like Sakusa’s contact name. Cause I thought it was funnier than it actually is.

Part 4: It Can’t Hurt

Now outside the bar, the two of them headed for her car. There was only street parking when Y/n arrived earlier, so she had to walk down the street for a good 5 minutes or so to get there; all along they chatted about Ikuno. She never really came here except for the dive bar. It was only about a 15 minute drive here from work, so that was a bonus, but otherwise she had no reason to be in Ikuno.

Reaching her black Civic, the doors unlocked. She crawled into the passenger seat herself as Iwaizumi agreed to drive to the park. Being a shifter, she’s not too afraid of being in the car with a stranger. Surely she could defend herself against one guy - she’d be alone with him in the car and at the park. On the other hand, if he thinks there’s something weird up with her, such as being able to turn into a wolf, she wondered why he would even agree to tag along. Wouldn’t he be afraid of her?

Once he was in and shut the door, he was checking out the interior: black with red accents on the dash, doors, and steering wheel. In dash computer, racing style seats and petals. “When you said you drove a Civic, this isn’t what I was expecting.” He found the push start before bothering to ask for the keys.

“She’s cute, huh? ‘17 Type-R. My baby,” she went on, running a hand over the dash affectionately and giving it a little pat.

“’Cute’.. Not sure if that’s the word I’d choose.” He gave her a concerned look, “You really want a stranger driving your.. ‘baby’?”

“What are ya shit at driving?” She teased, “Please. I’m not letting you take off without me.” The memory of Sakusa learning to drive a manual in Type-R when it was new popped in her head. That was a rough day for her poor car. If this guy really knows how to drive a manual, then it can’t be any worse for it than when Sakusa is driving. She chuckled, “A friend I let drive it, I taught him to drive stick in this. He still isn’t great, but he doesn't stall it nearly as much as he used to.” She shrugs and taps on the screen in the dash, setting the GPS for the park.

“You taught your friend to drive in this?” He started the engine, put it in first gear, and pulled out of the parking spot flawlessly.

“To drive a manual,” she corrected, “He could already drive. He just only drives automatics. I tried telling him these are a lot more fun.”

The bar isn’t that far from the highway, so they were on it in no time. Driving down the highway, again he was shifting through gears smoothly. A nice change from the rough shifting she usually experiences while riding passenger. She should really get Sakusa to practice more. Not that he wants to. Deciding to text Sakusa, she pulls out her phone and sends him her GPS location for their little outing. Just to be safe. It’s not even quite 10pm yet, so he shouldn’t care. Though regardless he’d never complain about this sort of text.

More time went by as they traveled down the highway. They sat in silence, other than the engine and various street sounds. It wasn’t too awkward and Iwaizumi has yet to complain like she’s used to. If anything, he might be enjoying the ride.

With a buzz, she checks her texts. Sakusa replied and asked that she check in later so he knows she's safe. As much as she mentally shit talks his driving, she knows he’s an amazing friend and she loves him to death.

Checking his text, she was reminded of Oikawa’s text in the bar essentially asking if she were single. Though he was likely teasing and just trying to text something other than ‘hi’ or his name, but why not have fun with it.

>> To ’Oi-chan‘: “who’s asking?”

“So,” she breaks the silence, “Have you been to this park?”

“What one is it again?” He glanced at the GPS’s listed destination, “No, I haven’t been in that area. At least not that I can’t think of.”

“But you’ve been south of there then?”

He hesitated. “I haven’t been in the forest or surrounding parks. I've just been by them. I have friends that live around there and down the street is a convenience store right by the tree line that I sometimes run to if I’m over there.. But other than that, I don’t know the forest or the area for that matter.”

“I see.. It’s really beautiful out there.”

“Maybe I’ll have to go sometime when the sun’s out then. You’re a regular, right? Maybe you can show me around?”

Well. Sort of.

Not a regular at the trails and parks. Or being there during daylight hours. “I wouldn’t say regular.. I haven’t been to this park in ages.”

He had no response. Only looking out the windshield as he exited the highway. The GPS showed only 8 minutes left. The area ahead full of trees.

Y/n directed Iwaizumi where to park as the gates to the parking lot were closed. All nature parks are closed at night after all. There was even a sign stating that and warning visitors not to enter after dark, but where’s the adventure in following those warnings?

“You.. Sure we should be here?” Iwaizumi asked warily, walking alongside her in the grass. They left the car along the road, but no one should be out here this late so it’s fine.

“Like legally or..?”

“Y/n!”

She laughed and led him to an open field. The trees were far enough from this spot to give a clear view of the sky, stars twinkling, crescent moon shining. This really is the best place to stargaze. She wasn't lying about that.

“Hey! Don’t run!” He yelled as she took off for the middle of the field, giggling in response.

“I’m sure you can catch up, Mr. Athletic Trainer!”

“That’s not-“

But she wasn't listening. Instead she was slowing down as she reached the perfect spot, sitting down in the grass. Very soon he was sitting down too, a couple feet from her.

He wasn’t even in arms reach. “Okay, so what now.”

She smiles at him then looks to the sky. It can be hard to see the stars with how bright the city was, but out here was far enough away from any unnatural light source that she could pick out constellations. Well, the ones she knew anyway.

The both of them sat quietly, looking to the stars, hearing nothing but the nocturnal sounds of the woods surrounding them. Generally such spaces were incredibly calming, but with the anticipated conversation her heart was pounding. She still didn’t know anything for sure and her excuse of too many people around to ask questions, like at the bar, didn’t work here. Alone, far from anyone, in her element - what better time to find her answers.

In a low voice, still admiring the stars, she spoke, “So.. You’ve seen me ‘round before, huh?”

She peeks at him from the corner of her eye. No response, he’s only staring forward. So she continues, “Like at that bar? ..I’m not in Ikuno much, and deeper in the city can be so crowded, I doubt you would have noticed me anywhere there.” She tried not to jump straight to the point. Frightened prey always ran after all.

In a similar tone, he answers, “Maybe the bar.. Maybe we crossed paths elsewhere..”

Still looking up, though not at anything in particular, she hummed. “I think I’ve seen you before too.” She could feel his eyes on her now, but chose to not make eye contact and instead point up to a small constellation she found. She named what she thought it was aloud, pointing it out to Iwaizumi.

“Where?” He squinted at the sky, no idea which stars she was pointing to.

With a snicker she inched closer to him. Tracing a finger in the air, “Look. Right there. A few kinda go in a line and some off the side.”

He keeps staring at the sky, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Pretty sure you’re just crazy.”

The look she threw his way was comical, “No! I’m not!”

“Uh huh.. Definitely crazy.. You didn’t bring me out here to kill me, did you?” He looked back to her, serious as ever, “..‘Cause Oikawa will be so upset if I don't show up for lunch tomorrow. Seriously. He’ll whine so much, and he has your number now. He’ll absolutely call you and whine, thinking I’m ignoring him. You don't want that, right?”

She stared blankly at him. For a second there she really did think he was serious. “..Yeah. That sounds really annoying. I’d hate to have to deal with a sobbing Oikawa.” She attempted a playful tone that may or may not have failed. She followed up with a chuckle for good measure, “Guess I can’t commit murder then. That’d look bad on my record anyway. Plus, someone as pretty as me in prison? No thanks.”

He laughed and leaned back on his hands, gaze back at the sky. Tension down, she scooted closer. “There really is a constellation there, I swear.”

“Yeah. I see it.” He glanced towards her for a split second, “I was just fucking with you.”

Her jaw dropped. “Rude!”

She returned her attention to the sky, searching for any other constellation she might recognize. He even pointed one out to her, though he couldn’t remember what it was called. Unfortunately, she couldn’t either, but it was definitely a constellation. Had to be.

“..The convenient store you said your friend’s by. I think I’ve seen you there before. Maybe you recognized me from there?” Silence, but she noticed he was looking at her again. Slowly she turned her head to meet his gaze. Keeping calm, she gave him a light smile. He didn’t look all that uneasy, like she felt in her gut. She spoke with warmth, desperate to keep the conversation from getting uncomfortable, “Iwaizumi?”

The corners of his lips ticked up and mischief shined in his eyes. “What are you a stalker or something?” He laughed as she scoffed. “Fine. I've probably been there enough times. Maybe I did see you there before.”

Leaning her head back, she looked at the sky once more, but this time she wasn't searching the stars.

He doesn't seem like he’ll be a problem..

She was sitting much closer now than when they first arrived at the park. Carefully, she leaned her head on his shoulder, inhaling orange and sage and something else. She glances up to him before quickly averting her eyes to the stars one more time.

Soon both of them were walking out of the field. “I can take you home,” she offered.

Iwaizumi was trailing close to her side, heading back to the car that was left forgotten along the small paved road. Luckily, no authorities showed up. “I might take you up on that. It won't be out of the way will it?”

“If you’re in Ikuno, then that’s not too awfully far off from my drive home.” She gave him a teasing look, “Unless you would rather go to my place.. Though Ikuno is closer. Maybe I’ll just stay with you.”

He rolled his eyes and complained, “Are you really inviting yourself to my apartment?” Nudging her arm with his, and teased, “Think I wouldn’t invite you myself?”

She cocked a brow, “Oh?” Car now in sight, she heads for the driver’s door, making the car unlock. “I’ll drive.” Opening the door she added, “Just put your address in the GPS for me.”

Mini mission complete.

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “didn’t die. didn’t go home tho”

Following Iwaizumi into his apartment, Y/n kicked off her shoes by the door and hung up her coat. He had done the same and was headed for the kitchen to the right. “Hungry? Want anything?”

“Nah, thanks though.” She helped herself to the armchair in the corner across the room. His home felt warm and cozy, the sofa now to her right looked just as comfortable as the chair she’s in, coffee table mostly neat with books and a stack of papers. A soft area rug covered the center of the living room, covering a large portion of the wooden floors, the walls were a soft tan and to her surprise not completely bare. An entertainment center sat against the wall opposite of the sofa, a bookcase next to that. And there’s the large window to her left on the wall behind her. It gave that homey vibe. Looking lived in, but not a mess.

>> From ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “Do you plan on going home or are you going on one of your late night runs?”

>> From ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’:“Should I stay up waiting on a I’m home text?”

Iwaizumi walked in from the kitchen with two glasses of water and placed one on the coffee table in front of her.

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “neither and no”

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “go to sleep sakusa”

>> To ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “and thank you”

>> From ‘Emergency Contact (‘Kusa)’: “I want to ask but also don't want to know so goodnight Y/n. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Without spilling his water, Iwaizumi fell back on the sofa, watching as she typed away on her phone. “Letting someone know where you are?”

“Maybe,” she mumbles, setting her phone in her lap, she reached for the water.

“I mean, that’s a good habit to have if you are.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sure you don't want anything to eat?”

She laughed, “Do you normally parent the people you bring home from bars?”

“I’d hardly say I brought you home when you invited yourself over and then complained about being tired halfway here,” he complained.

“Well, I appreciate that ya offered to take over and aren’t forcing me to drive home tired.” She smiled then looked around again. “Do you have a dog or anything? Anyone live with ya? ..Ah! If you don't mind me asking.”

He shook his head, “No. No pets and it's just me here.”

Finishing her water, she carefully set the glass back on the coffee table. “I’m not hungry, but don't let that stop you from eating if you are.. If you don't mind, I may clean up while ya eat.”

“Of course,” he leaned forward to set his half empty glass down and retrieved hers before standing. “I’ll show you where everything is.”

She followed him down a short hallway as he led her to a bathroom. He pointed out anything she might need and got her a towel, as well as offering her clothes to sleep in to be more comfortable. She sniffed different soaps and such while he stepped out for a moment. Returning quickly with what appeared to be a t-shirt and sweatpants. She thanked him as he left the bathroom once more.

“Oh hey,” he stopped in the doorway and pointed in the opposite direction of the living space, “My room is that way. I’m just going to sleep out here.”

“Oh no no no,” she held a hand up, “You sleep in your bed. I’m fine with taking the sofa. I’m already using your place for tonight, it's no bother.”

“I can’t let-“ With the look she shot him, she cut him off. He lifted his hands, “Okay.. I’ll be in the kitchen for now.”

And with that he was gone, door closing behind him. Flipping the lock, she turned back to the shower. Turning it on, she messed with the temperature until it was just right before stripping and getting in.

After a probably longer than necessary shower, she felt clean and now smelled of sage, orange, and black pepper. Sweeping her damp hair back and out of her face, she got into the clothes he left for her. Which admittedly didn't fit the best, but they’d work. She stared at her dirty clothes for a moment before deciding to just leave them in a neat pile in there and picked up her phone.

Stepping into the hall, she didn't hear anything. Walking around the kitchen and living room, she determined he must be in bed already. Setting her phone aside, she situated the newly found blankets and pillows on the sofa and turned off the lights after opening the curtains to let some light into the room so she could find her way around the unfamiliar space. Crawling into the blankets, she played on her phone quietly, too awake and unsure about the decision she made to stay here. She was supposed to find out what she needed and go home. And yet somehow she was in the home of the very person who kept her up all those nights ago, wondering if he had seen her and what was going to happen if he did.

But nothing has happened. And the last sighting was over a week ago.

And he’s been nice to her even though she’s been a total creep.

What’s the plan?

Part 5 >>

[kbandtrash]

The Heir and the Library of Secrets (SKZ Royal AU)(Part 4)

~Megan~

Masterlist

Y/N hardly lived, having to work and care for her two brothers. The heir lived in constant fear that he would be killed before becoming king. But secrets are told, old and new faces find their way close, and the lives they had known start unraveling.

Felix/Changbin x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Part 1 “Open up!” a voice came from outside the door.

Jeongin’s eyes widened in fear and he instinctively ran to his room, leaving you alone in the room. You ran to answer the door, knowing it was smartest to avoid any broken things. You couldn’t afford fixing anything.

The door revealed a man dressed in an entire suit of armor, a flag pattern painted on the chest. He held his helmet tightly underneath an armor, his other hand fingering his sword’s handle. You looked up hesitantly to his face. He had a crooked nose, small eyes, and a fierce frown. Two horses stood farther behind him, one with a rider.

“I-is there something I need to do for you, sir?” you asked as politely as you could, holding back your instinct to run.

He nodded. “You recognize this flag, correct?” His voice was gruff and intimidating, but you stayed calm.

Looking closer at it, you realized you knew exactly where it was from: Mira. The kingdom you used to live in, and straight from the palace you had served at. “Yes, sir. Have I done something to offend any of you?”

He chuckled, although it seemed a little sinister. “Don’t worry, miss. I came here as an escort for Prince Changbin, who I’m sure you remember.”

You couldn’t hide your shock at the mention of the Prince you had known so well years ago. “W-what? He’s h-here?” you stuttered.

“Yes. He is in hiding because,” the man paused to lower his voice dramatically, “he is learning magic.”

Magic? Magic was forbidden. And, of all people to break a law, Changbin was learning the art? You had known him as a rule-abiding prince that never disobeyed, ever. What made him do it?

“Not to be disrespectful, but are we talking about the Prince Seo Changbin of Mira?”

“Yes, I assure you it is the one and only Prince of Mira.”

You regained your composure and invited him in. However, he needed to find a stable for his horses first, so you awkwardly nodded and closed the door.

In wait, you hurried to Jeongin’s room, telling him to ignore whatever he hears and stay hidden, just in case. It took a while to finally get an “okay” out of him.

He returned not ten minutes later, the rider from earlier behind him. The person, you assumed, was Changbin, but he was wearing a heavy grey cloak that hid his features thoroughly. You let them take a seat at your ugly table, feeling somewhat embarrassed by the poor household.

You offered water, and the guard gladly accepted.

“So, why did you come here? How did you find me?”

“We have incredible trackers, and lots of connections. It was not difficult, but took time,” the man answered, much less frightening than he had been before. “I cannot say why exactly you were the one we wanted, but the Prince kept insisting that if he was leaving home, he wanted to be with someone he knew.”

“That’s reassuring, I guess,” you said. “Where will he stay?”

“He was hoping he could live with you,” he said blandly.

You choked on your water in shock. Coughing, you managed to say, “Here?”

“Yes.”

Why did this man look so calm?

“In this small house, with hardly enough room for my own family?”

“You have a family?” he asked with curiosity. “Tell me more.”

Why? Why did he need to know? “I live with my two brothers, Bang Chan and Jeongin.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes?” you replied, wondering why on earth he was asking. “But, will His Majesty still want to live here?”

“I’m sure everything will be alright. We will provide this household with anything needed, as well, so don’t worry much. We simply want to let Changbin live in comfort.”

You nodded, and watched as the man sipped his water thoughtfully. 

“Thank you for allowing the Prince to stay here. Your efforts and sacrifices are greatly appreciated.”

You didn’t have much to say, but you were curious who the cloaked man was. You eyed him silently, and were taken aback when the guard stood and left, without another word, shutting the door behind him.

You were alone with a mysterious man, after the strangest thing possible. 

“You shouldn’t stare,” the man said softly. The voice was so familiar, but so unknown. “With your mouth open like that, you’ll catch a fly,” he continued jokingly.

You closed your mouth that you didn’t realize had been open. Before you could question him, your brother exited his room, humming, and then immediately stopped when he spotted you and the cloaked man.

He rushed back into his room, slamming his door conspicuously. The man stood in surprise, his hood falling off in the process.

He had changed so much from all those years ago. Back when you were only sixteen, working for the Mira royals. Then, he had been a small boy, shorter than he was now, just trying to fit in. He had always tried so hard to make his family proud, even if he hadn’t been very good in a duel. He carried around a smile everywhere he went.

But the Changbin now was different. His previously deep black hair was somehow a deep blue. His face hadn’t aged much, but the sparkle in his eyes had disappeared. He had a resting grumpy face, a slight frown that told you to back off. He now had earrings in place, stylish and expensive-looking. 

“Changbin!” you exclaimed, almost afraid. He had been so quiet, and so camouflaged, that you hadn’t realized it was him all along. “That was you?”

He nodded sheepishly, his frown still in place. “Sorry for hiding like that.”

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“So was that Bang Chan or Jeongin?” he asked suddenly.

You answered without a second thought. “Jeongin.”

“He seems young. How old is he?”

“17.”

Changbin widened his eyes slightly, but kept a serious expression. He seemed so unnerving, with an unrecognizable aura around him that screamed he was trouble, the opposite of what you recalled him to be like.

“He should grow up well.”

“I try my best with him.”

“I take it your parents are dead?”

“Yes.” You felt like you were being interrogated. Something otherworldly hung in the air.

His eyes suddenly turned sad, something you didn’t expect at all. “It’s been so long since we saw each other last. And back then, I hardly knew you.”

Which was exactly why you were wondering why he searched for you.

“I’m sorry for coming so unexpectedly,” he said, as if he had read your mind, “but this was the only place I knew I could go without being kicked away.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m learning magic,” he elaborated simply. “No one wants to house a law-breaker.”

“You’ve got a point, but how did you know I would let you stay? How do you know I won’t kick you away anyway?”

He ruffled his hair. “We trusted each other, didn’t we? And you promised you would always take care of me.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “but that was when I was your servant.”

“And you’re saying you’ll abandon me now?”

He got you there; you definitely wouldn’t leave him alone now. “I guess not.”

Now, finally you saw him smile. It was just as bright as you remembered.

The door swung open, and in came Chan, with tired, half-closed eyes. “I’m home,” he called lazily. Then, as he looked up, he gasped comically. “Y/N, who is this?”

Part 5

[mydemimonde]

Debunking  some things about Hayley Atwell

I decided to write this post to address some rumors about Hayley Atwell. I’ve seen some posts years ago, about how (supposedly) problematic Hayley is, and as a 17 year old in that moment, I believed everything I read on the Internet. I'm not saying that everything you see on social media it's a lie, but you have to stop, think about it and do your own research (if you really care about it), like I did. The rumors I’ve read on Twitter (and here), basically said that Hayley hates Emily VanCamp, that Hayley and Chris Evans mistreated Emily, that Hayley is homophobic, that she said she should play Sharon wearing a wig, and that she also hates on Chloe Bennet. Like I said, I did my research to show you some stuff as regards these rumors/assumptions.

1. Hayley said she should play Sharon Carter on the MCU.

Literally how is that a bad thing? She just simply said what she thought back then (this interview is from 2011, 9 years ago). Besides, it's the Marvel Cinematic Universe, ANYTHING can happen. I think that I don't need to remind you that actors and actresses can play different characters in a same franchise, Gemma Chan played Minn-Erva in Captain Marvel and will play Sersi in Eternals, Enver Gjokaj played Daniel Sousa in Agent Carter and another minor (veeery minor) role in The Avengers as a policeman, and all those things take place in the same universe. So Hayley's thoughts back then are not as crazy as you think they are. And it's not a bad thing if she wanted that to happen.

Update (10/8/21): 

About Hayley saying she should play Sharon: as I said before, this shouldn't be even considered as something bad. Besides, Emily wasn't involved with the MCU then nor was she in talks of getting casted. Why am I pointing this out? Because so many people took that as Hayley saying she can do a better job as Sharon than EVC. AND THAT'S NOT TRUE.

2. Hayley saying she would ground Sharon for kissing Steve: 

(Source, minute 9:25 - 10:15) She's joking guys. You might not like or share her british humor, which is very dry, satirical, sarcastic, but what can we do about it? Stop making such a great deal about it.

Besides, there are more things that you're missing. Or, actually, things that the people who made up these rumors chose to omit. I don't know if you guys were in the Marvel fandom back in 2016 (year in which this panel took place), especially during may/june. After "Civil War" premiered, Marvel released a comic in which we discover that Steve Rogers has always been working for Hydra. So, when a fan asked Hayley if she disapproves of Sharon and Steve, she says that Peggy would be so protective over Sharon, that she wouldn't let her get close to Steve, (because of all the Hydra stuff) HERE’S THE SOURCE, minute 12:20.

3. Hayley and Chris mistreated Emily VanCamp.

Who told you that? Emily VanCamp herself? If you show me an actual proof that this happened, I'll believe you. But since there's no evidence of that...

Update (10/8/21):

About Hayley "hating" Emily: this was said a lot back in 2016 when Hayley said she didn't approve of Staron. That's literally her opinion, if she doesn't ship them that fine! She's entitled to her opinion, like everyone does. They’re not best friends, they get along. They made some videos together (back when there was a Dubmash war between the AOS and Agent Carter casts). Here's one.

Plus, Emily talking about Hayley when asked about not sharing the screen with her (minute 1:42).

I recently found this video in which a fan asked her about the jokes/comments she made about Sharon that got out of control on social media. She said she didn't know about that (by that time she deleted her twitter account, where both Sharon/Emily got so much hate) minute 24:05 onwards. She said she was joking of course, and recognized they were wrong!

Many people blame her because of all the hate Sharon and Emily got. I admit it: I didn’t like Sharon that much. But even with all those jokes Hayley made, I never thought about bullying neither Sharon nor Emily. The problem here are the toxic fans who took everything she said seriously and saw it as a chance to bully both Sharon and EVC. And if you’re one of those fans, you’re disgusting.

4. Hayley is homophobic. Oh yes, that's why she wanted Peggy to date Angie in Agent Carter (Source, minute 31:50). And also, how she approves of stucky.

Update (10/8/21):

Besides supporting the LGBT community on social media, she's once again showing support for Cartinelli and Peggy Carter being bisexual (a win for me btw) 

May I add that Hayley supports the BLM movement not only on social media, (which many people including myself see it as performative activism in sooo many celebrities), but she actually went to protests in London last year, and kept posting about it + she allowed black activists and artists to post on her Instagram.

5. Hayley making fun of Chloe. Where the fuck is the source for that? Did you work for the cast of Agents of SHIELD to confirm that you witnessed that? Did Chloe say it? No. Don't make up bullshit.

Update (10/8/21):

So I found this post and I can’t believe how this person (please don’t bully them) has the nerve to accuse Hayley of saying “Daisy is not good enough woman to help Ward” and NOT PUTTING THE LINK OF THE VIDEO where (apparently) Hayley said that. Here’s the video, pay attention to Hayley’s answer. Literally, where does she say that? Stop taking things out of context, and stop making things up.

I understand if you don't like her jokes or humor, or even if you think that they are odd. But, honestly, what can we do about that? That how she is. She has bad things and good things, flaws and virtues. She might have commited mistakes, like EVERYONE ELSE HAS, because she's a HUMAN BEING. People change. Just like her, I'm not the same person I was a year ago. Even weeks ago. I'm not saying that you should love Hayley or Peggy from now on, all I'm trying to say is that instead of blindly believing everything you read on internet, try to take some of your time to search for evidence. Sorry if I seem to be angry, it's just that I'm tired of seeing so much hate on Hayley. It's not something I see just now, it's something I've been seeing since 2016. Leave her alone and stop spreading hate.

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 20: You Really Do Hate Cats!

(CONTENT WARNING: This blog post contains discussion of phobias, child abuse, and people doing the worst thing to intensify those problems. Those things are in the show, I didn’t just bring them up out of nowhere.)

Well, it’s that time again. Time to grab a balloon and tell my friends what I think of an episode of Ranma 1/2. We’re starting the first arc of season two with this episode, though oddly enough I feel like I mostly remember what stuff is going to happen in it. But maybe I don’t remember right? I’d love it if that is the case. Though...speaking of that...there is a certain character I have dreaded appearing in this series, and I’d hoped he wouldn’t appear for a while, but I checked and he appears this season. I...I thought I had more time. Oh well, let’s do this episode and I’ll worry about him when he gets here.

Okay, well, for the most part, this episode is actually a lot better than I remember it being. As it turns out, some of the details mutated in my head in the decade since I last saw it, and I actually thought things were worse than they were.

The episode starts in the Kuno manor, where our favorite swordsman is practicing to once again fight Ranma Saotome. But he’s not alone, because for the first time we meet Kuno’s henchman, Sasuke. He’s a ninja, and he’ll do whatever Kuno tells him to do, but he probably won’t do it very well.

From there, we see Ranma’s dad is training him in stupid ways again, and they get back to the house to find Shampoo has mailed Ranma something from China: a pink cat. That’s a problem, because Ranma has a severe cat phobia. It’s not random, either, Genma directly created it. See, when Ranma was 6, Genma thought he should teach his son Cat Fu, which he heard about from an ancient martial arts manuscript. The way to teach it is to cover the disciple in fish sausage and through them into a room with starving cats.

Obviously, that just ended up traumatizing Ranma, and the very next page of the book would have told Genma that training someone that way is very stupid. Kasumi, drawing on the common misunderstandings people have about exposure therapy, thinks that just inviting a ton of cats to be around will help, but of course it doesn’t, it makes Ranma even more distressed. Sasuke is hiding under the floorboards though, and he runs off to tell Kuno about Ranma’s weakness.

At first, Kuno says something about how he could never cowardly use an opponent’s weakness to unfairly win, but then he still makes Sasuke tell him about it, because he can still use it to win in an honorable way. The plan they go for is pretty ridiculous: they leave a note in Ranma’s locker that Akane’s been kidnapped, and he has to go to the gym to save her. But Akane is standing next to Ranma as he reads the note, so he knows that’s not true.

He goes anyway out of curiosity, only to find Sasuke there dressed up as Akane. With the wrong color wig. Even though the trap keeps failing, Ranma walks into it anyway because he has nothing better to do, until he realizes what is going on: cats. But Ranma manages to fight the fear and pretend he’s okay, hoping to just take Akane out of there, but then it becomes clear Sasuke took the extra step of also bringing an enormous tiger.

That’s when we cut back to Genma and Kasumi, and the old man explains that he tried curing Ranma of his phobia, but his way of doing so was to just keep throwing him at hungry cats, only changing the type of food attached to his body. All of it just made the problem worse, but it also actually led to Ranma developing Cat Fu. When Ranma gets scared enough, his mind just let’s go and he mentally becomes a cat.

That happens in the basement of the school, making it easy for him to beat the tiger and escape, just in time to kick Kuno’s butt without even trying. But he doesn’t stop there, and starts running around the school still acting like a cat. Akane follows him just as the dads show up. Genma says the only way to break Ranma out of it when he was a kid was with the help of a kindly old lady, but she’s dead. So, Genma tries dressing up and doing it himself. That fails, so they try catnip, forgetting that Ranma just thinks he’s a cat, so the stuff doesn’t really affect him.

The situation does kind of solve itself, as Ranma doesn’t attack Akane, as she’s afraid of, but instead curls up in her lap to purr. The whole school is watching, so that’s embarrassing for her, but then he kisses her and she freezes for a second before throwing Ranma into the school pool. Oh, and the pink cat is watching and didn’t like that. The curse activating returns his brain to normal, and Ranma has no clue why he was thrown in a pool. Akane walks home, cursing Ranma for doing that, but sounding conflicted.

So, the big thing I misremembered about this episode was I thought Genma did all the cat stuff with 0 thoughts about how it would affect Ranma and not giving a crap how it affected his son. That is actually not the case, he’s clearly really torn up about the phobia, though he still says some bad stuff about Ranma being ‘unmanly’ for having a phobia. He even tried to cure Ranma, a few times. It’s just that, well, his actions still traumatized Ranma. Sufficient ignorance is indistinguishable from malice, as they say. Genma is still, on the whole, abusive to Ranma in my opinion, but he’s not as bad as he could have been, I have to admit.

This was also just a funny episode. The comedy largely worked, even if some of the jokes didn’t quite land. Kuno and Sasuke were especially good, and I found Ranma fighting his fear both humorous and kind of inspiring. The man has a hell of a willpower. Not going to lie, the Cat-Ranma just immediately going for Akane’s lap and then kissing her was cute, I really liked that. Of course, I’m a sucker for anything with them, so I’m an easy mark there.

It’s also interesting how this works as the first part of a large arc, because if you didn’t know that was the case I can imagine thinking this was just a standalone episode. The pink cat was the impetus for the plot, but it’s what will drive the coming episodes forward.

One thing I found annoying was how different the dub and sub were this time around, in terms of script. The dub had a lot more bashing of Ranma for being scared of cats, including from Akane. That isn’t in the subtitled version at all, and I thought the episode worked a lot better there. I’m always a fan of taking liberties with a localization in order to make the story work better in the new country, but I don’t think we needed Akane insulting Ranma for his trauma.

Hey, a Character Spotlight again! Haven’t had one of these in a bit, and this one is for Sasuke Sarugakure. Let’s start with his voice actors. In the English dub, he’s voiced by Robert O. Smith. Does that name sound familiar? It should, I talked about him recently, since he’s the one who voiced Genma Saotome in the dub as well. His voice for Sasuke is extremely comedic, going for an over-the-top pathetic voice. He makes Sasuke just sound like comic relief, which he is. What’s interesting is what the other actor does with him.

In Japanese, he’s played by Shigeru Chiba, another voice actor from this show in Japan who is just known for a billion things. Standouts include Buggy the Clown in One Piece, Emperor Pilaf and Raditz in the Dragon Ball franchise, and dubbing over John de Lancie as Discord in the Japanese dub of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I was completely shocked to hear him play Sasuke with more gravitas, using a very serious voice that one would expect from a ninja, which clashed perfectly with the situations and his character design to make the comedy far better than in the dub. One of those rare times I’m actually preferring the Japanese version!

As a character, Sasuke is interesting because he’s not in the manga at all. For reasons none seem to know, the creative team for the anime decided to delay introducing minor character Hikaru Gosenkugi, and replaced him with Sasuke. We’ll get to Hikaru when he appears, but I don’t really mind Sasuke’s addition to the show. Giving Kuno a henchman just makes his dynamic even better, and there’s something I just really like to Sasuke’s almost naive way of trying to plot and scheme. I don’t actually have any deep analysis, at least not as of yet, just wanted to give him a moment in the Spotlight for being something interesting.

I didn’t expect to like this episode so much! It wasn’t great, there were parts I didn’t care for, but on the whole I’m happy to see my expectations overcome. I’m putting this episode in the middle of the pack, at the #10 slot. It was fun, but it has a lot of better episodes when it comes to making me smile. (Or cry.)

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’  

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 15: Enter Shampoo, the Gung-Ho Girl! I Put My Life in Your Hands

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 19: Clash of the Delivery Girls! The Martial Arts Takeout Race

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 13: A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 17: I Love You, Ranma! Please Don’t Say Goodbye

Episode 20: You Really Do Hate Cats!

Episode 16: Shampoo's Revenge! The Shiatsu Technique That Steals Heart and Soul

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

Episode 14: Pelvic Fortune-Telling? Ranma is the No. One Bride in Japan

Episode 18: I Am a Man! Ranma's Going Back to China!?

Next time we’ll continue this tale with "This Ol' Gal's the Leader of the Amazon Tribe!" which, as you might guess from the title, will introduce a new character. This one’s actually from the manga! See you then, y’all.

[anika-ann]

Little Big Things to Celebrate... with a challenge

I’m gonna start by saying THANK YOU. For every single one of you, whether you interact a lot or only a bit or rarely at all. This is for all of you and for those who aren’t in the 500 too ;) 

So, let’s celebrate the only way I can think of:

Rules:

You don’t have to be following me, but it would be nice if you did. (Come to the dark side. We have fluff and stuff.)

As for now, it’s one prompt per person (but after you post it, you can pick another if you’d like!). Let me read your stuff!

Send me an ask when you pick one (or a DM if you’re on the shier side). You can add character you’ll be writing for if already decided. I’ll try to update this list as often as possible.

When you post, use the tag #challenge500ann in the first 5 tags and tag me in the fic please. If I don’t respond with at least ♥ within two days, please, reach out, the system messed up again. (I’ll be a bit out from 9th to 14th August though, fair warning.)

Feel free to alternate the pronouns/tense/etc in the prompt in case that it would sound… unnatural in your fic otherwise.

Keep it Marvel, please. Movies, tv series, I don’t care. Comics are alright, but I guess I’ll have to do some research. If you truly want a different movie/show characters, DM me please. Crossovers are fine, welcomed actually.

Canon or non-canon ships, reader inserts, pairing with an OC, no pairing at all, platonic relationships – bring it. We don’t discriminate here. AU completely of your choice when picking a prompt? Gimme those too.

Fluff, angst, humour, I take it all. Smut must be properly tagged and with a warning before the text of the fic. (And yes, I’m aware most of the prompts are easier to make fluffy/funny, sue me or surprise me.)

Drabbles, one-shots, first chapter/prologue to a new series... size doesn’t matter O:-) But I’m begging you, if it’s over 500 words, use the keep reading bar (yeah, I know, sometimes it doesn’t even work, but let’s try).

Deadline: 9th September. 

If you need an extension, DM me. We’re all only human and life gets in the way. I just want to make sure to have time to read all your stuff before starting my last(?) year of uni. Bachelor thesis is going to eat a lot of my time.

Prompts below the cut. Dig in!

Prompts  

(it’s scary, but I can hear the characters say it in my head, change it for me!) There’s a source of the prompts above each group that means nothing but me crediting them:

(The Flash)

1. “Am I the only one who watches movies around here?” @randomsevans​

2. “Say something so we know you’re okay!” “Ow.”  @elysianecho with Steve

3. “Rule number one: when a girl says it’s fine, it’s not fine!” (optional follow-up: “Amen!”)  @adorkably 

4. “What is wrong with you two? That’s not friendship.” @scentedsongrebel

(Arrow)

5. “You tell anyone about this, I will kill you.” “…that’s just an expression, right?” @nekoannie-chan  with Steve or Rumlow

6. “As far as plans go, this isn’t a good one.” “This was your plan.” “I didn’t think you’d actually say yes!”  @chris-evans-indian-fanfic with Captain Marvel & Valkyrie

7. “Is that judgement I’m hearing?” “Pride.”

8. “So we’re not doing the what happens in Russia stays in Russia?” “We’re still in Russia.” @buckybarney​

9. “You are such a bitch!” “Takes one to know one, sweetheart!” (feel free to change the insult and/or petname)  @amythedvdhoarder​ with Bucky

(Supergirl & Legends of Tomorrow)

10. “You look like crap.” “Thank you, I saw the mirror this morning.”  

11. “Name/pronoun is/are super hot.” *Silence* “Gay, not blind.”

12. “No offence.” “Offence taken.”

(Chuck)

13. “So in this plan I basically do nothing?” “Yep.” “Let’s do this!”

14. “If my primary objective wasn't to protect you, I'd kill you.” @lilbabycee​ with Bucky

15. “What are you doing?” “Escaping.” “From your own birthday party?” @averyrogers83 with Clint

16. “You actually listened to me?” “I can’t quite believe it myself!” @hufflepuffvs with Steve

17. “This is a part of my cover.” “Well, it doesn’t cover a thing!”

(Supernatural)

18. “I get all tingly when you take control like that.”

19. “’Game of Thrones’ is complicated. Shower sex - that's complicated. *thing* ain't complicated.”

20. “So? Maybe I’m not real, nobody’s perfect.”

(Merlin)

21. “What are we still doing here?!” “You were unconscious!” “Always have an excuse, don’t you?”

22. “This is one of those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea and you ignore me, isn't it?” @pies-writes-and-more with Steve

23. “I want to say something I’ve never said to you before… thank you.”

24. “I thought you said you had faith in me.” “Whatever gave you that idea?”

25. “I had no idea you were so keen to die for me.” “Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.” @mysterioh​

AU and tropes

A) (Evil) Twin/Mistaken Identity @anjali750

B) Time-travel @sophiria

C) Bodyswap

D) Horror AU 

E) Fairy Tale/Fantasy AU   @queen-kass-the-writer  with Steve

F) Lawyer AU

G) Biker AU @kayteewritessteve with Steve 

H) Bodyguard AU @donutloverxo with Steve

I) Single Parent AU @romaxnogersav​ with Bucky

J) Escort AU

Ball’s in your court now! Have fun! And stay safe!

[seyriie]

Our Pace | Thank You Woojin

[22:25]

The eight boys are huddled up in their hyung's former room. Chan's arms wrapped around Felix's and Jeongin's shoulders, the latter's face buried in the leader's chest.

It's been hours since they unintentionally gathered. First, it was Changbin who went into the room and settled himself on the bare, clean mattress as a way to somehow cope with what's happening. Jeongin entered a bit later, followed by Jisung, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Chan, and finally Minho who for the past days would just either be found in the dance studio making new choreography or alone on his bed with the curtains closed.

Actually, all of them tried to keep themselves busy. Changbin and Felix practiced their rap until their voice got hoarse, Jisung tried to master his high notes, Seungmin and Jeongin both experimented different melodies and tempos with their voice, Hyunjin was busy rehearsing for his MC duties, while Chan...Chan would be alone in his studio. All the members knew that he needed space, but every so often some would enter and they'd either sing, compose lyrics, or make a new beat.

When Minho arrived, all the members were already silently sobbing and hugging. He held a box of UNO cards in hopes to cheer them up.

Chan and the rest would look at Minho guiltily--they weren't able to fully celebrate his birthday happily. They did have some laughs and ate a hearty meal, but in all their smiles hid a hint of grief they tried to push away for the sake of Minho. Nonetheless, it didn't bother Minho. For them to spend his birthday as 9 was enough.

Jeongin decided to face everyone, his eyes still puffy and cheeks still glistening with fresh tears. His voice broke the long chilly silence. "So, what now?" he asked shakily. All the members blinked and shifted uncomfortably. Chan's caring hand caressed the youngest's back as words failed to come up his dry throat.

A few tense minutes later, Minho, who usually had his opinions to himself, spoke up. "We...we move forward." he said with a slight hiccup. Minho knew that now that Woojin was gone, he had to mature and act as a more responsible hyung. He needed to be the one to support Chan as the second eldest now. Unknown to them all, Changbin also felt the same pressure.

Chan nodded and gulped. "I know I've told you all this before, but we won't stop just from this. We'll still keep doing what we're doing. It's..." Chan's voice hitched and he had to blink away his tears. "It's what Woojin would want."

"Tie harder, double knot, yeah?" Jisung quipped after a while which made Jeongin smirk, much to Jisung's joy as he said it to cheer the youngest up. However, it was so difficult to look at Jisung. Jisung was the member who was known for his humor and smiles. Right now, those smiles didn't reach his eyes.

"Aaah!" Hyunjin groaned, throwing his head back. "Can I take a break from doing MC stuff? I just wanna be here with all of you!" Seungmin pat his knees.

"You're doing great." Seungmin reassured. "We'll be here every time you get home."

"At least you don't have to watch yourself in 'Pops in Seoul'," Felix grimaced. The members smiled at that.

"Yeah, you looked pretty damn funny in the latest one." Changbin snorted. Jisung agreed and imitated Felix's dance tutorials which earned him a flying pillow.

"That hurt!" Jisung whined, tugging on Seungmin's sleeves as he pointed at Felix. "Do something!" Seungmin then proceeded to slap his hand away comically.

"Oh, shut up, that didn't hurt and you know it." Seungmin rolled his eyes which made Jisung puff his cheeks in his silly way, which caused the members to snicker.

The mood had lightened for the first time in days as all members smiled genuinely as they lightheartedly picked on both Felix and Jisung. After the 'Pops in Seoul' ordeal ended, one by one, each started sharing a silly story or a good memory, and as each person spoke up, the tension inside the room eased.

Some time in between their conversation, Hyunjin suggested they play with the UNO cards Minho brought, which they all quickly agreed to. Seungmin also played their entire discography on loop on his phone in full speaker volume as Jisung sang along off-key. Jeongin and Felix went out of the room momentarily and came back with assorted snacks and fruit juice from their pantry and fridge.

Between stories, laughs and the occasional yells as +4 cards get played, Chan and Minho glanced at each other and the two hyungs smiled. We'll manage handling these kids, was their silent chat. Minutes melted into a few hours as they had fun for the first time in a long while. Chan found a bit of confidence and stood up. He felt a lot better now (they all did), though his knees still felt a bit weak. "I'll be back. I have to do something."

"No, do it here!" Jeongin pouted as the rest chanted in agreement.

"Fine." Chan said, sitting back down in the center of the room. All the members huddled behind him as he brought out his phone. "I just figured, we all need reassurances. A small breath, yeah?" Chan glanced around at everyone. They gave Chan questioning looks, but soon they understood what he meant.

Minho rubbed Chan's shoulders. "Our STAYs must miss us a lot, huh?"

"Probably me the most." Changbin said with a hint of aegyo which made Minho elbow him lightly and Seungmin to roll his eyes and fake-barf.

"Hyung, I seriously doubt that." Felix chuckled. "I bet you a cheesecake they'd rather hear Jeongin's scream than watch your aegyo."

They all laughed as Jeongin stuck his tongue out at Changbin while Jisung pat his hyung's back. At that point, no one really knew what their future held. Everything was still scary for them, but they knew one thing was certain. The nine of them are brothers, and nothing will ever change that. They'll continue to pursue their dreams, focused. They'll find their pace again. Nothing will stop them.

Chan looked at his members, smiling as little-by-little, their former happiness--their former selves--came back. He knew they'd bounce back from this. They'll stand tall again, in due time. Chan unlocked his phone while the rest of his members continued to bicker, and saw an unread text from Woojin.

"I believe in you, captain. See you very soon."

Chan bit his lower lip and a small sentimental smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he replied.

"Always find us, yeah? We'll never leave you behind."

Chan realized his members saw as they huddled even closer together. Each hugging one another--eyes still red, but all mutually shimmered with hope. They knew that their road ahead was tough and challenging, but as long as they're together, they'll manage somehow.

Woojin replied a few minutes later. "Of course. Hey, tell the kids and yourself as well: It ain't over. Blessings wait for us all. Believe in your heart, everyone. This is just the beginning. We started this journey as nine, we'll reach the finish line together as nine...or none at all. Keep striving. Nine or none. Always. I'll be cheering all of you on from the sidelines! I'm always here if you need me as well. Never forget me, okay? Stay healthy. I love you all!"

Tears fell from each of the 8 brothers' eyes. Silly Old Bear, how could they ever forget him? On the other end, the eldest was tearing up as well. It's so hard, they all thought at the same time. It hurts, but we'll make it.

Funny how Mixtape #3 conveniently played in the background from Seungmin's phone. Blessings did wait for them. Blessings will come to them. It's not over until they say so. Believe in them. Chan took a long breath and wiped his own eyes before opening his phone's notepad.

"STAYs, it's Chan."