#ch: william poindexter

[bigsnzstanacct]

Some Ch/eck Pl/ease that nobody asked for but I’m sorry I’m obsessed. (There is also some Ch/eck Pl/ease in my inbox that somebody DID ask for and I am very excited to dig into that as soon as I can…)

To be clear about characters nicknames: Derek “Nursey” Nurse and William “Dex” Poindexter both have the kink and have gone on a sneeze-fueled enemies to lovers speedrun. Lazy and un-proofread, but lots of sneeze talk (and one stifled sneeze). Maybe will do part two with The Big Sneezes eventually, after I do more actual asks lol:

“So, like…” he said, before collapsing unceremoniously across his boyfriend’s lap, beaming up at him like he wanted something.

“No, no, Nurse, before you go any further, there’s a program that still won’t compile on that laptop over there and I’m just taking a break—“

“Uggghhhhh… all compiling and no fun makes Dexy a dull boy and I’m bored.”

The way Nursey said bored, as though fun was a thing Dex had some obligation to dispense like Pez, as though he was Derek Nurse’s favorite toy… was exactly the sort of thing that would have gotten him red-faced furious and started a yelling match back in the day, before they got together, before they found out about their shared interest (or obsession or adoration or endless mutual infatuation). But now… well, it got his face red and the tips of his ears pink and his whole body involved for totally different reasons.

“You’re bored?” Dex said, feigning neutrality, badly.

Nurse nodded, still beaming, eyelids lowering imperceptibly. (Except to Dex, nothing Derek did was imperceptible to Dex.) “I’m bored.”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“So what I was going to ask you before I got so rudely interrupted by Homework Dex was like, um…” Derek bit his lip. Derek getting nervous? Oh shit, that means this had to be about…

“How big do they get?” Nurse asked, the way the words rushed out betraying his nerves.

“You mean, my…”

Nurse nodded.

“I mean… really big.” The way Nursey’s pupils dilated, the way his chest rose and fell, made it quite obvious to Dex that he should in fact keep going. “Like… well you know I always had the allergies, right? And when you’re sneezing every fifteen seconds it’s like… you just wanna do it hard enough to stop. And so like, you know, I started sneezing a little harder so I could get the urge to stop. And then a little harder. And then harder so like… yeah I guess that’s where I got like… the force behind it? Like it was an arms race with my allergies…”

“And the allergies won mmff…” Nursey stifled a moan, already so ridiculously blissed out.

“And the allergies won. Although at least now, I mean… if I go full out I can get the itch to go for like… a while. That was the issue dude, it was just like… my nose got so fucking itchy and I tried blowing it and I tried like… rubbing it and shit but nothing actually got the itch to go away except, you know…”

“Sneezing. Really fucking hard.”

“And loud, don’t forget loud.”

“Mmmm… don’t worry I neeeeever forget how loud, I’m always thinking about how loud…”

“So yeah, I just like… had to start sneezing really hard just so I didn’t spend my whole day sneezing. Of course, that backfired after…”

“After they got so loud they rattle rafters everywhere you go?”

“Yeah, after they got really embarrassing. But I didn’t even tell you the worst part.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah it was… when I started diving? You know, it’s kind of a Maine thing?”

“Everything with you is a Maine thing, even the sneezes!”

“Damn straight.” Dex chuckled. He almost wondered how he had gotten so damn comfortable discussing his biggest embarrassment and shame in life, the thing he never, ever wanted to discuss with anybody. But of course he knew the answers: first, that Derek Nurse was somehow the easiest person to talk to Dex had ever encountered in all his years on planet earth, and second, any time Dex talked about his nose, or his allergies, or his sneezes… Nurse started looking like that. Eyes half-lidded, like the cat who got the cream and was gonna get some more, satisfied and hungry, delighted and a little bit dangerous. For that look… Dex would walk through fire. Even his anxiety was no match for that look.

“Okay so you know, like diving for lobster is kind of a thing people do for fun, right? But like… it’s a thing in my family—“

“Boooooo!” Nurse said, as he did every time Dex’s family came up.

“Shush, Nurse, you’re gonna be thanking them for this one.”

“Still booo, sorry babe.”

“Well, booo in general but for you—“ and you alone, in all the world he didn’t say, “for you this is a winner. Obviously if you actually work a lobster boat you’re not generally diving as a primary way of catching fish, but for some reason it’s family tradition you have to dive for your first lobster. It’s dumb—I mean sorry, it’s silly—“

“For once, I wouldn’t have stopped you babe.”

“I know, I did it myself.”

“God that’s almost as hot as your sneezes. But not quite. Back to the sneezes now Dex.”

“Yes sir.” A heated look passed between them at that but Dex forged ahead: “so yeah, like, I started diving and I got, like, really good at it. I loved going diving. I’d just do it for fun, and then you know, they wanted me to help check the traps if somebody needed to check them real quick and it was fun for me, but what I didn’t realize was…”

“Lung capacity?”

“Bingo. My lungs are actually, like, crazy strong. It’s a weird trait but yeah it’s true, I did a diving competition and I’ve been, like, measured.”

“Measured??” Nurse cut in incredulously, “Dexy-poo I’ve heard it, I don’t need no stinkin’ measurements.”

“So uh, yeah, between the allergies and the diving like… I dunno I can take in a crazy—fuck—ridiculous—amount of air, and with all the allergy stuff it’s like… either I take in as much as I can and, you know, blow out as much as I can or I sti… stifle… speaking of which…”

“It’s so hot that talking about sneezes makes you sneeze, I just want you to know that.” Nursey murmured, tracing idle circles with his finger around Dex’s chest, which was currently inflating to its considerable capacity, before….

‘HHHHUUUUUUHHHHHH-*snnnnxxxx*-chewwwwww, oh… man that still hurts.”

“I bet. Can’t believe you do it all the time. You know nobody’s gonna, like, kill you for sneezing a little loud—or, like a lot loud, I guess I can’t lie. Aaaaaaaaanyway, if there’s still a tickle in your nose, you know we could ummmm… do what I was really curious about…”

“You let me tell that whole embarrassing ass story and that wasn’t even what you w-wanted??” It was mock anger, though the lingering itch in Dex’s nose was very real.

“Oh it was hot as fuck and you know it. But no, what I really wanted was, um… to see it. Like… full out. Cause you know you said that like, it’s way bigger in person and when you really have to sneeze and like, I know the pollen count isn’t as high as it was but it’s still kinda up there—“

“D-don’t rehhh… remind me…”

“And like that air purifier is running like crazy in here, so I bet if you went outside…”

“I’d blow your eardrums out?”

“God, I hope so.”

“Well, you’re in luck cause it’s still i-itchy and really don’t want to have to stihhhh… stifle again and…”

Nursey was up in a flash. “Okay cool, give me two seconds to put real clothes on and to like not be so embarrassingly erect”

And Dex looked down and, well, he wouldn’t call that embarrassing. Impressive more came to mind, perhaps mouth-watering if he was totally honest.

“Just huhhh-huuhhh… hurry. It really t-tickles…”

[theswallow-su]

Does Kent Parson Know How Fruit Works?

Turns out, he does! Or he does now that SMH’s tiny forward, ERIC BITTLE, has explained it to him with a (helpful!) diagram. Is it just us, or does our hockey team get closer and closer to NHL stars with every passing week? (And who wants to take bets that KENT PARSON is going to hire Bittle as his personal Fruit Tutor?)

Speaking of which, it turns out that JUSTIN OLURANSI is taking notes on the what it’s like to kiss a guy in preparation for planting a big one on KENT PARSON himself when he comes to town. It’s unclear if Parson is coming to town specifically to kiss Oluransi or if the timing is just a happy coincidence. (More on this story as it develops.)

In other NHL news, ALEXEI MASHKOV was seen playing beer pong (and losing) at one of SMH’s recent kegsters. Meanwhile, JACK ZIMMERMANN was seen talking about dicks on his blog.

Also, ADAM BIRKHOLTZ and KENT PARSON were seen talking about NHL prospects. Will Samwell have another pro alumnus come next season?

Alumnus B. KNIGHT will be turning in his lawyer badge and taking the stand as LARISSA DUAN prosecutes him for being a total nerd. (Our sources say that the honorable JACK ZIMMERMANN will preside.)

As for our favorite Samwell gossip, guess who spent Christmas in Maine with his D-man partner? That’s right! DEREK NURSE was apparently so loved by the family of WILLIAM POINDEXTER that he let the younger kids dress him up as a princess over the holiday. There’s still no official word on their relationship status, but nothing says boyfriends like playing dress-up with your partner’s little siblings!

It looks like we have a new pair to gossip about! Freshman RAFAEL WALKER was reported as sleeping over with fellow teammate TONY STEELE in Steele’s dorm room. Of course, it’s possible that the boys were having a good old-fashioned sleepover, but we at The Swallow are wondering...could this be another budding romance on the hockey team? (It sure seems like a popular place for relationships to develop!)

After the public debate between MARCH ANDERSON and JUSTIN OLURANSI, we’ve decided to put the question to a poll: Are ghosts real? (And have you had any supernatural encounters?)

Reply to this post with your answer and one lucky follower will win the right to give us the title of our next post!

[omg-rp-please-blog]

Welcome to Samwell University, William “Dex” Poindexter!  Age: 20 | Major: Computer Science | FC: Cameron Monaghan | Taken

[whatwouldfrogsdo]

mmmm the frogs for lab, lift, learn

:)

This cool dude for lab because he looks like he’d be a good partner

Freddie for stuck in a lift because obviously

And this looks like a frog who is intelligent enough to teach me some things.

:D

jk jk

Lab: Chowder because he’d be good enough at to get some things done but also help to make it fun

Lift: Nursey because he would stop me freaking out and be cool to talk to to pass the time

Learn: Dex because … I might actually learn something from him. Also he has totes lots of experience in that sort of job.

[dichens-lachman]

Knight and Day - NurseyDex AU

Ch. 1 - On Some New Beginning read on Ao3

Will had commanded troops, he had seen battle and won the day, but nothing could prepare him for being on the prince’s protection detail. Derek of House Nurse was unmistakably royal with his high cheekbones and relaxed demeanor. However, he did not possess the usual grace of a prince. This combination of charm and clumsiness would prove lethal to Will’s sanity. After a run-in with an enemy arrow, Will was reassigned to a position that required lighter armor and unfortunately more diplomacy. He had little choice now but to accept the position of glorified babysitter. At least he was guarding the prince and not one of his vapid sisters, or worse, his mother. The queen was fair to those who deserved it and ruthless to those who crossed her. Will was acutely aware of the fact that letting something happen to her only son would put him firmly on her bad side.

Will had little previous experience with these royals and only had the stories he heard from palace knights. Sir Christopher, personal guard to the queen, was his best source of inside information. His eternally optimistic personality was one of the few who could contend with Her Majesty’s chilly exterior. Although Chris wasn’t one to gossip, they were best friend since they were squires together and kept each other up to date. Even with the weight of all his armor, Chris still seemed to float with excitement as he rounded the corner. “Oh Will! You’ll never believe what I heard!”

“That the prince is getting a new personal guard?” Will smirked.

Chris looked confused, “Yes, how did you know?”

With a sigh, Will replied, “Because it’s me. I’m his new guard.”

After a moment of stunned silence, they lost all composure befitting their rank and laughed like kids. When Chris was just on the verge of tears, he stopped cold. “Wait, that means you’re going to have to be near him like all the time, right?”

“Yes, Chris, that’s kind of the point of a personal guard. I start tomorrow,” Will groaned.

***

He went in with every intention to make the best of this situation, he really did, but the second he actually met the prince that went out the window. Thankfully, it was a much less ostentatious affair than he was expecting for such an official position. Jack, a French transplant into the royal guard, met him outside the prince’s personal chambers with instructions. “Don’t be nervous, the prince is not one to stand on ceremony, but he is pretty talkative. Just humor him and respond as you see fit. I know you can jump to conclusions with royals, so just keep a level head,” he jabbed.

Will winced at the mention of last year’s semi-scandal involving some visiting dignitaries who Will had mistaken for intruders into the palace. To be fair, they happened to be wearing black cloaks and were not accompanied by any personal guards. Nobody got injured, but Will had to take a small mandatory leave while they were there.

“I will not be making any similar mistakes, trust me,” he replied.

“Good,” Jack pat him on the back, “then he’s in there getting fitted for new clothes right now. Just introduce yourself and let him set the pace.”

“I can do that; I mean, how bad could it be?” Will chuckled dryly. He knew he was tempting fate by even saying that. He walked into the room to see Derek half-dressed, crown hanging from his fingers, looking between two pieces of purple fabric. Will only realized he was staring when green eyes met his and the crinkle above those eyes deepened. “Your Majesty,” Will bowed, “I am your new personal guard. Sir William, at your service.”

“Oh great!” he beamed. “Can I get your opinion on which of these I should use for the inside of my coronation robe?”

Will figured their first interaction would just be pleasantries and then he would go stand by the door. Now, he was presented with two bolts of fabric that looked almost exactly the same. “Um, I think both are fine materials, sire. Either would make for an impressive robe.”

Suddenly, the heir to the throne was touching his hands and sticking fabric in them. “But really feel them, this is going to be on me during the most important moment of my life!”

Will gave each some consideration and gave his honest opinion, “I like this one. It feels softer and the color is brighter.”

“Oh no,” Derek pouted, “I was hoping you’d say this one. Everyone else says that one.”

Will, making sure that Derek had looked away, rolled his eyes and said flatly, “Then you can choose that one, Majesty. I am sure your choice will be respected.”

Derek stopped short, “What did you say your name was again? We should get to know each other a bit if you’ll be protecting me from the all the dangers of clothing.”

“Sir William of the Maineland Poindexters. If I may, there is not much to know about me, but I will endeavor to learn your routine to better to protect you.”

“Ok Dexy,” he smirked, “you really don’t have to be so formal with me. We can just talk like you would with your fellow knights. I am much more approachable than my mother.”

Somehow, Will could tell that this assignment was going to be an exercise in patience.

[khashanakalashtar]

Metadata

By: RiotKid Originally found: here on AO3

Read by: Khashana

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic)

Podfic Length: 1-1.5 hours

Tags

Relationships: Chris “Chowder” Chow/Derek “Nursey” Nurse/William “Dex” Poindexter, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Eric “Bitty” Bittle/Kent “Parse” Parson/Jack Zimmermann

Ch…

[snowystater-blog]

i love them!!!!!!

[theswallow-su]

Wait, so Poindexter isn't straight? But he had a Republican sticker on his laptop. And a lot of people have seen or heard him get lectured about homophobia and gender/sexuality issues from Nurse and that loud feminist guy. Where's sources that he isn't?

Look, Grayface, we  aren't in the business of assuming gender or sexuality. We simply report what we hear and see. 

If you missed out on the DEXNURSEY fun, you can always head over to one of their blogs. Trusts us, now that we know they like to flirt publicly we’ve had our team avidly going through them trying to find more information. 

[theswallow-su]

MAYDAY MAYDAY!!!! NURSEY AND DEX ARE TOTALLY FLIRTING ON THE DASH! NURSEY SAID THAT HE WRITES POEMS ABOUT DEX BECAUSE HE IS "POETIC" !!!!!!!

Well, well, well, it looks like someone’s getting fired from The Swallow today, making me look ridiculous while publishing old news! 

My, my, DEREK NURSE, there will definitely be a lot of hearts broken when people find out that the freckles and red hair you’ve been writing about aren’t theirs, but in fact belong to the man we thought was your number one enemy, WILLIAM POINDEXTER.

[snowystater-blog]

things i'm expecting to kill me soon enough

- bitty becoming captain - holster & ransom giving their dibs to nursey & dex and the big k.o! - holster, ransom & lardo graduating

[snowystater-blog]

character mood boards ↔ william poindexter

check, please! > jack | bitty | holster | ransom | chowder | nursey | shitty | lardo | tango | whiskey

[snowystater-blog]

okay but i'm really emotional over the idea of dex eventually coming out as gay to jack (who's eventually out to the team himself) and freaking out because he doesn't really want to be part of the one-in-four statistic at samwell (he has a lot of internalized issues and hangups that he's slowly working through), but jack is able to calm him down by explaining that he felt the exact same way when he realized he wasn't straight, and it took a while to come to terms with but it's really not the end of the world nor does it spell the end of his career before it's even begun, despite his initial fears jack offering his support for as long as dex needs because "it can feel pretty lonely to deal with it all on your own" and "i may not be the captain of the smh team anymore, but i still care about you all and would like to help in any way i can" (and i just. really like the idea of dex bonding with jack, who's still a great role model and captain to the team even though he's no longer at samwell??)

[snowystater-blog]

there's probably a separate gc for just the frogs (and maybe the taddies)

dex and nursey constantly change the name of it with mini attempts at drags against each other. they only stop when chowder, patience wearing thin, ends up thoroughly roasting them both. whiskey merely says "wow", and tango is just "???" someone screenshots the whole ordeal and sends it to the main smh gc with the older guys, who praise chowder for his dragging skills. especially bitty.

[snowystater-blog]

dex: (sends the entirety of the bee movie script to the smh gc)

nursey: u dirty meme fckr

dex:(blocks him out of it)

[snowystater-blog]

dex as a barista and nursey as the hipster poet customer with The Most Pretentious coffee orders

[snowystater-blog]

william “dex” poindexter, my other favorite gay trans guy