#ch: rhysand

[jon-snows-man-bun]

If the political marriage was rhysand/aisling instead, how would he treat her?

I started typing frantically and haven’t stopped all day. I put this beneath a cut because it got longggg

I went back and forth on this because there are so many directions this could go, but ultimately I decided that I think Rhysand would try to be his usual feminist king self first. He’s great at meeting individuals with empathy, right? It’s only when he’s put in a position that he has to rule that he tends to revert to pretty strong-handed tactics. I think this is a really interesting dynamic for him: he wants so badly to be seen as a good, kind, just ruler, but he also acts incredibly cruelly in other contexts, so it’s a very interesting picture of a ruler who wants to maybe be better than what he actually is, or cares only about how he’s seen rather than how he is. It’s the sort of conflict that Aisling really would draw out in him.

My interpretation of Rhysand is also that he’s kind of failing in his hero’s journey. He’s a very symbolic character: he’s two halves of a disparate night court that have combined to make an incredibly powerful leader that is more than the sum of his parts - the fact that he’s only half high fae should limit his magic, but instead it enhances it. He has his whole shtick about the court of dreamers and dreaming of a better future, and it seems like he’s perfectly primed to unite his court and make it into something new and better, as his parents united and made something entirely new and better in him. But he just…. never does this. He lets things continue as they are, the two halves divided, and he’s in touch with neither of those halves (he doesn’t respect Illyria and he doesn’t respect the Court of Nightmares). I always think of this CS Lewis quote when I think about him:

“ ‘In our world,’ said Eustace, ‘a star is a huge ball of flaming gas.’

Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, but only what it is made of.”

Rhysand is half from the Court of Nightmares and half from Illyria. But that isn’t what he is, only what he’s made of (yes this quote is about the eucharist, don’t start with me).

Aisling, I think, would point this out in a pretty painful way for him. She’d use her position to advocate to free the Hewn City, to try to convince him to give them greater freedoms and more autonomy, but he’d ultimately refuse because everyone around him conforms to his views and believes that he, above anyone, is more capable/important/worthy of dealing with (the dread trove, the cauldron, the book of breathings, etc etc etc).

He’d treat her well at first, trying to win her to the inner circle, trying to win her to Velaris, trying to turn her back on her home like Mor did. But she isn’t Mor - she was in the CoN for many more years than Mor, and just is a different person than her - and she wouldn’t be swayed so easily. She also has a much stronger inherent suspicion of Rhys, as she’s never known him as family and only ever as the evil, frighteningly powerful High Lord that keeps them imprisoned, that keeps them under Keir’s thumb, that shows up occasionally and asks for people to punish, that sends his terrifying shadowsinger Illyrian to torture people in her home. Rhysand wants to be a good guy, so he’d put on his charming mask for a while, showing her Velaris, showing her Starfall, showing her the Library, and Aisling would just refuse to consider him as anything but an oppressor. Because he is! She can’t forget it!

At that point he’d start thinking of her as a problem to be contained, and start looking at her and seeing all the things he hates about himself: the irrefutable heritage that gives him his power but disgusts him at the same time. He can’t alienate the Court of Nightmares because he still needs them, but she’s a very convenient outlet, and a tidy symbol of everything he dislikes about the Night Court (and himself). I don’t think he’d ever physically abuse her, but he’d engage in manipulation and gaslighting and deception and she’d meet him every step of the way with every bit of resistance and cruelty and anger she can muster. He wants to be Good so so so badly and she’d hold up a mirror to him every possible moment to say, you’re not. You’re no better than me and you hate me.

I think he’d go out of his way to humiliate her and degrade her in a way that’s always plausibly deniable. He’d make her dress like Mor to visit the Court of Nightmares. He’d keep her in the House of Wind so she can never actually reach Velaris, but she’s free and so far above ground - isn’t that what she asked for? He’d bring her to identify the bodies of the courtiers and Darkbringers Azriel tortures. Etc etc etc

All of that to say….. not well 💀

[thestarswholisten]

Because when the legends get written, I didn't want to be remembered for standing on the sidelines.

[viktoriaashleyyx]

My biggest green flag is having my husband read Ch 54 and his first response was:

"But where is the apology?? 'I felt bad for hurting you' is not an apology."

[romanticatheartt]

Today I was looking through the books looking for some canon proof for an anon who asked me a question (I got you anon it's in the making<3) and got to this part:

First of all, I'm sobbing. I'm not good. My babies been through a lot and I just want to put them in a blanket, keep them warn and give them all my love.

Second... a few months ago I rebloged a post about how Cassian and Feyre, Azriel and Nesta, and Rhysand and Gwyn's traumas are similar. How a friendship between Rhysand and Gwyn would be lovely and she can be the sister he lost and he the bother she never had, the sibling she lost.

And as always a bitter anon told me wanting Rhysand and Gwyn being besties and them opening up to each other is out of reach and it will never happen because Rhysand hasn't even completely opened up to Feyre (!!!)

I deleted the ask because I'm not here to change people's mind about anything when its already set. But then I came through this part and well this is their proof that they haven't read the book or only remember selective things.

Third, sjm should've written Rhysand's pov... he should've opened up to Feyre and we should've read about them, not only in passing and in a paragraph that most can ignore. We should've seen that Feyre is always there for Rhysand and she always listens when he needs someone to talk to or hold him when he needs someone to just be there for him. (Because now I've seen people saying Feyre doesn't love Rhys as much as he loves her... like my girl can't take a break fr)

[littedidyouknow]

"And if possible, I’d like to get my wife back.”

Feyre huffed, “Get your wife back?”

“Mh,” Rhys confirmed, a small smirk slowly spreading on his lips. “As much as I love speaking to my brother’s best friend,” he said, moving closer and stopping just before her mouth. ”I want to spend a quiet evening with my wife.”

She rolled her eyes at him. It didn’t last long, though, because he dropped a kiss on Nora’s head, before finally kissing Feyre's lips, very softly, and there was never a complaint she could form at that.

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

And I said, “You love me?”

Rhys nodded.

“Then get out.”

[acourtofladydeath]

WIP Wednesday: TTBW Ch 3

Hello loves!

For your midweek snack I have a snippet of "Take These Broken Wings" Chapter 3.

Not caught up on the fic yet? Read the first two chapters here on AO3!

"A Dark Black Night" is scheduled to post this weekend barring major complications. Keep reading under the cut for your tasty little snack!

After a moment’s hesitation, Nesta placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “I’m here for you too, Az. You are not alone. I know your history. You know ours. I’m not sorry about a single thing the three of us have done, separately or together. And I won’t let anything they say make me regret it. Keep that in mind for me, won’t you?” Time seemed to stand still as Azriel stepped forward and embraced Nesta, their emotions eddying around them in an almost visible flurry. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he buried his face in her pale blue Illyrian wool dress. She wore the same armor adornments over the fabric as she’d done that night. Nesta wasn’t shying away, not from a single thing. So why should Azriel? He held her tight as his shadows began to swirl around them both, cocooning them in darkness and muffling any words they might say. Azriel pulled back just enough to speak. “He’s truly okay?” Nesta let out a little exasperated laugh, her face falling from her proud mask into worry. “Not even a little bit. But he’s ready for today, and that’s all we can ask for right now.” She looked up at Azriel with tender concern before asking, “are you?”

Stay tuned to find out if Cassian, Nesta, and Azriel can get through this day.

[nerdyfangirlmel]

Been live texting my friend my reactions to the ACOTAR series cuz she recommended them to me. I’m on a court of mist and fury.

And last night I was texting her about you know what she found out about the Surial. And she was like youre at like the “MOST FAMOUS PART” and yet because it was like 2 am and my frontal lobe has developed so I decided because I finished a chapter and part 2 I would go to bed and pick it up the next day.

When she said famous part I thought it’d be like some cute little kumbaya they make up and some smut moment.

I WENT THROUGH MY WHOLE MORNING DOING ERRANDS LIKE AN ADULT SO BLISSFULLY UNAWARE. I SHOULDVE BEEN EXPECTING TO BE EMOTIONALLY WRECKED.

I AM NOT OK RIGHT NOW

[scribare-archive]

think she knew. a part of her, deep, deep down. always loved the night sky. in some ways it had always been an escape : watching the stars above and felt like she belonged to something. never felt like she fitted in with her family, no matter how hard she tried. no matter how she hard she loved them. with rhysand however, it felt like the most natural thing in the world & maybe it hadn't been perfect. they weren't perfect. but she wouldn't have it any other way. the love she held for him, this between them, it made sense. standing on balcony, everything is coated in a darkness : and she is watching the stars, aware that he is there. had been for some time now, but didn't move before much later. not sure who moves first, perhaps at the same time. she turns & he close the distance. soft smile upon features as she looks up at him : her hands trail up his chest and to rest upon his shoulders, before pushing herself up and closer, a soft kiss pressed to his lips. a greeting of sorts, a silent i love you.

@loresode. starter call + kissing your lover under the night sky while stargazing.

[azrielstherapist]

No One Like You [Ch. 1]

𝙎𝙮𝙣𝙤𝙥𝙨𝙞𝙨: He saved the world. But the cost? A part of himself that he can never get back.

Rhysand returned to Velaris as the hero of Prythian, but the shadows of his past cling to him, leaving him distant, haunted. The world has moved on, but he hasn't.

You, an apothecary in Velaris, isn’t interested in saving anyone—least of all him. You have your own secrets and scars to carry. When your paths cross, something shifts. Something neither of you is ready for.

No one warned you that some connections are inevitable, no matter how much you resist.

In a city where the past is never truly gone, both of you may have more in common than you realize—whether you’re ready to face it or not.

Inspired by: "A Girl Like You" by Edwyn Collins Pairing: Rhysand x Y/N

Note: I was listening to this song and I was inspired, so why not. I still don't understand how Tumblr works, so work in progress I guess. This is a draft of the first chapter, Rhysand is introduced in the second chapter, if you guys like it. I'll publish it! Dividers by @aquazero

Chapter 2, Chapter 3

The wind that rolled down from the Sidra had a bite to it that morning. Not cruel, not winter’s wrath, but sharp enough to slip beneath cloaks and find skin. The kind of wind that reminded you the world moved on, with or without you. The kind that asked whether you’d move with it.

I walked with my hood up and my hands tucked into the sleeves of my coat, eyes on the slick stones of the narrow alleyways that cradled my little shop like a secret. People passed me by with baskets of bread and paper-wrapped flowers. Some nodded, most didn’t. That suited me just fine.

The apothecary sat where it always had, halfway between the river and the square, tucked into a weathered stone building that leaned like it was tired. A faded wooden sign above the door read “The Apothecary”, how original, but most people just called it the shop with the blue door.

I liked it that way.

The bell above the door gave a single, soft chime when I pushed it open. That sound was mine, I’d chosen it, tuned it, hung it with trembling fingers years ago. Not just to hear when someone entered. But to remind me that this space was real. That I existed, here.

Inside, the warmth was waiting. Not from a fire, I hadn’t lit one yet, but from the walls themselves, from the worn wood shelves and their neat rows of amber bottles, herb bundles hanging from the ceiling, soft powders and dried petals in glass. The scent of bergamot, ash bark, and clove curled in the air like memory.

My fingers moved automatically, unlocking the storeroom, checking the fresh jars from the night before, brushing dust from the counter. It was still early. Velaris hadn’t woken fully yet. That was the way I preferred it: the hush before sound, the stillness before demands.

The city was beautiful, a dream for poets, all marble and starlight, but I had no interest in its art galleries or its floating lanterns, not anymore at least. Beauty like that had always seemed a little cruel to me. Too fragile. Too easy to break.

I liked the ugly things. Bitter roots. Cracked vials. The stubborn fight of plants that grow in poor soil.

By the second hour, the shop was humming in the soft way it always did. The bell rang, and I didn’t have to look up to know it was Aeluin.

He came every week, a retired cloth-dyer who still carried the scent of ink and wool on his hands.

“Morning, girl,” he said, with a nod and a wheeze. “Same as usual.”

“You sleeping?” I asked, already reaching for the tin with the lavender blend I made just for him. “Or just pretending you are?”

Aeluin gave a dry laugh. “If I was sleeping proper, I wouldn’t be here beggin’ for leaves.”

“You’re not begging. You’re paying,” I said, and wrapped the tin with a strip of linen. “This time, don’t steep it more than five minutes. You overbrew it again, it won’t knock out a field mouse.”

He left a few coppers on the counter, more than I charged, and didn’t wait for change. He never did.

“You should come by the square,” he said before the door closed behind him. “They’ve set up a market for the solstice. Music, food, that sort of thing.”

“I don’t do crowds.”

He gave me a look. Not pity, not judgment. Just… recognition. Then he nodded once and left.

Alone again.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The second bell of the morning came with the scent of wet stone and steel. An Illyrian, tall, broad-shouldered, wings tucked neatly beneath his cloak. Draxen, I remembered. We’d only spoken a few times before.

"You’re up early," he said, pulling his hood back and ruffling damp hair.

I gave a small nod, already reaching for the tincture I guessed he’d come for, something for sore muscles or a bruised rib. "Trouble flying?"

"Trouble sparring," he replied with a grin, eyeing the shelf like he was looking for something else entirely. “Your stuff works better than whatever my partner stashes in his desk.”

“You’re still using it wrong.”

Draxen gave a mock-wounded look. “Can’t I just appreciate your brewing skills without the lecture?”

I let the faintest smile curl the corner of my mouth. “That would be new.”

He leaned against the counter, casual, like someone who didn’t quite know what to do with stillness. “You always this cheery in the morning?”

“You always this nosy for no reason?”

He barked a laugh, genuinely amused. I handed him the small dark-glass bottle, carefully labeled.

"Thanks," he said, slipping it into his jacket. But instead of leaving, he looked around, really looked. At the half-lit corners, the shelves, the care in every label and placement. His gaze was warm, but sharp. The kind that sees more than it should. “You ever think of moving closer to the city center? You’d have more customers.”

I arched a brow. “You want more people to know where I live?”

“Fair enough,” he said, that smirk of his deepening with approval. “Still. You’ve got a talent.”

“I’ve got quiet. That’s enough.”

He lingered, like he wanted to say more, but finally just gave a nod and turned toward the door. The bell jingled behind him, the wind tugging at his cloak as he vanished into the street.

The shop was quite again.

I leaned against the counter and listened to the silence. Not empty, not lonely. Just quiet. And in that quiet, I breathed.

This was my space. My rhythm. My peace.

So when the bell chimed again, softer this time, like a fingertip on glass, I knew before I turned that something was different.

She stepped inside, cloak damp at the edges, the color of the deepest red, a shade that would’ve blended into shadows if not for the sheen of rain on the velvet. Her hair, golden and impossibly bright, fell in a braid over one shoulder, and her expression was open in that diplomatic sort of way, welcoming, unreadable, disarming.

She seems like someone used to being watched.

Not in a vain way, not the kind that demanded attention, but the way people moved when they were accustomed to it. Like she was always bracing for something. Praise or attack, I couldn’t tell.

I didn’t need more than a second to place her. I saw her in the city, everyone knows her.

The Morrigan.

A member of the Night Court.

he High Lord’s third in command.

She didn’t introduce herself, but I didn’t expect her to. Instead, she stepped forward and said, “I was passing by,” voice warm but measured, “and your shop looked… inviting.”

My hands didn’t still over the bundles I was sorting. “It’s open.”

Her eyes moved over the room with genuine interest, not feigned for politeness. “What do you prepare here? Herbs? Brews? Tinctures?”

“All of the above,” I said. “Oils, powders, teas. Salves. Tonics for the body. Others for the mind.”

She nodded, stepping closer, not into my space, but toward a low shelf lined with small dark vials, all unlabeled.

“You work alone?”

I gave her a look. She didn’t press.

After a quiet moment, she turned back to me. “Do you make truth serums?”

The question was clear, but her tone was carefully neutral, too practiced to be idle curiosity. She didn’t say who they wanted the truth from, or why.

“Yes.”

“Subtle ones?”

“Yes.”

Something flickered behind her gaze. Not surprise, but something adjacent. Approval, maybe.

“I need one that doesn’t taste like anything,” she said. “One that doesn’t slow the tongue or dull the mind. One that won’t be noticed until it’s too late.”

I tied off the sprig of dried anise root I was wrapping and finally met her eyes. “How long do you want it to last?”

“A few minutes. Long enough for answers.”

I nodded once, then turned to the back shelves without another word. I didn’t ask who it was for. I didn’t ask why. She didn’t offer.

And that, oddly, felt like an understanding.

I took down two jars, one filled with crushed veritas blossoms, another with pale green thistle seeds. From a third tin, I pulled a small folded parchment containing a fine white powder that shimmered faintly in the light.

I began measuring in silence.

Behind me, the woman wandered, careful not to touch anything. Her gaze moved to the bone charm hanging above the archway, one of the old ones. A ward against liars. She didn’t comment on it.

When I turned back, she was already watching me.

“This won’t compel truth,” I said. “It’ll only lower the resistance to speaking it. The mind will want to keep secrets, but the tongue won’t quite cooperate.”

“That’s all we need.”

I folded the blend into a black wax paper and tied it with string. No label. No instructions. If she needed this, she’d know how to use it.

“Four silvers,” I said.

She paid in silence. Then, without reaching for the bundle yet, she studied me a moment longer. Not rudely. Not with suspicion. Just with… interest.

“Most apothecaries wouldn’t hand this over without a dozen questions.”

“Then most apothecaries waste breath.”

That made her smile, small, almost private.

“I’m Morrigan,” she offered then, with a slight bow of her head.

“I know.”

She paused, not offended, just curious. “And you are?”

“Y/N”

A flicker of recognition, maybe in the name. Maybe not. But she said nothing else. Just tucked the packet into her cloak, nodded once, and turned for the door.

“It suits you.”, then she vanished.

I didn’t answer.

The bell chimed as she left, and the silence folded around me again, but not quite the same silence as before.

Something had shifted.

Chapter 2, Chapter 3

[delaneytveit]

I’m fucking sorry, but the CABIN THAT RHYSAND TOOK FEYRE TO IN MAF WAS ON THE GROUNDS OF DEVLON’S WAR CAMP?????

I beg your biggest fucking pardon??????

(Acofas ch 2 pg 19)

and on top of that, you mean to tell me that these people have

permanent tents and small stone and wood houses while on the other side of the camp sits rhysand’s family fucking cabin???? are you fucking kidding me???

(acofas ch 2 pg 18)

[sidthedollface2]

Something Borrowed (Part 2)

Read part 1 here

Pairing: Azriel x Reader (Rhys sister)

Series summary: Rhys tells Azriel to back off Elain and find release at a pleasure hall. Instead, Azriel finds you, Rhys' younger sister.

Chapter Summary: Right after we find Azriel and Elain in a compromising position, Azriel tries to smooth things over only to drive you further away. Feelings escalate when Azriel sees another male touching you.

Word count: 5k

Series Warnings: MDNI 18+, ANGST, hurt/no comfort, smut (p in v, oral) no use of yn, nicknames, fighting, jealousy.

A/n: Thank you for all the love on part 1, I really appreciate all the comments, likes, and reblogs. This is part 2 of Something Old Something New. Please read that first, this ch continues right where we left off. I’m sorry it took so long to make this part. I’ve decided to make it a mini-series so expect 2 or more parts. It’s not over till I say it’s over. I'm a daydreamer, not a writer so if you see any mistakes that's how I dreamt it. Lol

Rhys clenched his jaw tightly at the scene in front of him. His brother, a broken shell of a male on his knees, pleading for a love that would never be his. “Azriel, my office now! The rest of you go back to your chambers,” he commands, jerking his head towards his office. Azriel stands, wings dragging behind him as he makes his way towards his inevitable demise.

Rhys enters behind Azriel, closing the door to his office with a wave of his hand. “How dare you disobey me. Not only was my demand about Elain ignored, but you went behind my back to court my sister and then decided to break her heart! I told you to go to a fucken pleasure house to get laid not to fuck my baby sister! ” Rhysand yelled, fury evident in how this neck strained from raising his voice. Azriel lowered his head in shame. “I should kick your ass right now, but your lucky Vi said not to, now sit. I’m not done with you yet.”

Rhys gestures to one of the armchairs that are placed in front of a very large bookcase. A round table sits between the two chairs, an intimate setting for friends to converse. Or for a High Lord to intimidate and test his guest. Azriel would know of such tactics, he’s been a witness to Rhysand's techniques.

Two glass cups with amber liquid are placed on the table, followed by its luxurious bottle. A bottle Azriels never seen before. Rhys catches his curiosity, “I hide the good stuff. This one's aged 50 years.” Azriel’s mouth waters. Of course, Rhys would keep the expensive stuff in his stash.

Rhys takes the seat across from his brother, his gaze piercing into him from above the rim of his glass. “Drink.”

Azriel eyes the glass in front of him. Temptation stared back at him in the form of delicious whiskey. He could really use a drink right now, to cure the hatred that he's brought upon himself.

He opens and closes his mouth, suddenly parched and wanting to soothe the dryness in his mouth.

“I’ll have some water.”

“Good choice,” Rhys hums in approval, and the house magically delivers Azriel’s water. Silence falls between them. The ticking of a grandfather clock is the only sound heard, counting down by the second. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Each male waiting for the other to break the silence. Azriel takes a sip from his glass, hands shaky as he brings the cup to his lips.

“Care for a smoke?”

Azriel chokes on his water, “sorry?” He questions wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, unsure if he’s heard correctly.

“Mirthroot, to ease the tension,” Rhys clarifies, indeed offering Azriel the drug that he smoked earlier, minus the hallucinogen. With a trick of the hands and some magic, the cigarette appears between Rhys’s fingers, bringing it to his lips, its cherry blazing red. He inhales. His chest expands with how deep he aspirates, holding the fumes within his lungs. Slow and calculated he exhales. Swirls of white smoke leave Rhys lips, landing directly into Azriels face. Its white tendrils carve through his wavy hair, coating each strand with its foul scent. A Lingering reminder of his mistakes.

Azriel swipes his hand in front of him, ridding the air of the smoke surrounding him. A slight cough erupts from his throat, “no, uh, I recently had a bad experience.” Azriel tries to joke, but it lands flatly based on Rhys' stone-cold expression.

“Azriel, what do you think your punishment should be for making my sister run away from her court?”

Oh, straight to it then.

“I do love her, Rhys. She's breathtaking in every way and I don’t deserve her.”

“No, you don’t!” Rhys bellowed, slamming his glass down on the table. “What. Is. Your. Punishment?” He seethed.

“Death. Because I can’t live without her, I deserve it knowing I’ve hurt her. That I’ve betrayed you and your trust. I’ve lied to you, taken your brotherly love for granted. I’ve killed for much less.” Azriel slouches in his seat, defeated but willing to take whatever his punishment shall be.

“You must truly love her then if you're willing to die. But I find that to be too swift of a punishment. Will torture suffice?”

Azriels eyes snap to his brother, a look of shock and slight terror in his hazel eyes. This wasn’t his brother anymore, but the words of a High Lord. A cunning, cruel High Lord.

Azriel doesn't say a word, he simply nods. Accepting his fate.

“Very well. You will watch over my sister. You will shadow her every move, her every outing. You will not speak with her or make yourself known. You will observe her interactions with other males. If she happens to love someone else then you will witness their beginning, middle and end. You will endure her loving someone else while she falls out of love with you. That will be your punishment. If you love her, truly, you will see her happy, even in the arms of another.”

Azriel swallowed the knot in his throat, shoving down the emotion that was a breathds away from coming forward. His eyes failed to meet his High Lord as he took a moment to process the terms. A slight sheen was coating his forehead, heat climbing up his spine at the thought of you with someone else. Clenching and unclenching his fists, his nails dug into his palms, creating half-moon shapes on his rough skin.

He did want to see you happy, and in love. You deserved it more than anyone he knew, but not with someone else. Azriels mind flashed back to every tender moment you two shared. Every soft touch under the table, away from prying eyes. Each stolen kiss when the two of you were last in leaving meetings. Morning snuggles after a night of intimacy before he snuck out of your bedroom. Flying together under the stars, in the middle of the night when the rest of the Velaris was sound asleep. He could keep those moments to himself, call upon them when he missed you. It’ll break his heart watching you fall out of love with him, but that was the whole point. And that's what Rhys meant by torture. It would happen slowly, painfully peeling the layers of his heart back piece by piece till nothing remained.

His refusal was on the tip of his tongue, “I can’t….” He shook his head, shifting in his seat uncomfortably. Letting out a shaky breath, “can I at least apologize without an audience, before I begin this punishment?”

Rhys nodded and flicked his wrist, dismissing his brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Azriel knocked on Elains bedroom door, determined to explain himself and confront her.

Her beaming smile when she opened the door caught him off guard. Was she happy? Happy for his misery?

“Hi Az,” she smiled wide and stepped aside to let him in. “No, I don’t want to give the wrong idea. I’ll be quick.” Azriel sighed, running his hand through his tousled hair. He winced as Elains scent off his fingers made its way to his nose. Reminding him that he needed to shower before he spoke to you. “Elain, I’m sorry for-”

“I’m not” she interrupted, her doe-like eyes staring up at him as she stepped closer. Her chest inches away from pressing against him. “The only thing I’m sorry for was the interruption and not bringing you to completion. I liked doing it, I wanted more,” she confessed, attempting to close the distance.

“What the fuck Elain!” Azriel's voice boomed as he jerked back, putting distance between them, hoping to get his point across that he did not reciprocate her feelings. His face twisted in disgust at her scandalous behavior. A side of her he had never seen before. He pointed his finger at her, “stay away from me.”

“You said you loved me.” Elain gulped, a tremble in her meek voice.

Azriel lowered his face to meet hers, eyes red with anger and unshed tears for the situation she put him in. “Those words were not meant for you, I feel nothing for you. And definitely not love. You know I adore her, you heard me tell her in the library and you still took advantage of my inebriation.”

“Az, I’m so sorr-”

Azriel lifted his hand, silencing her apology. He shook his head, upper lip curled in a snarl as he looked her up and down. Not even her beauty would mask the bitter taste she left in his mouth.

~~~~~~~

It was late when he finished speaking with Elain, yet every nerve in his body wanted to find you and apologize. Fix the turmoil he had created and start new. He knew it was better for you to sleep on it, let bygones be bygones. First thing tomorrow he’d reach out and smooth things over.

Azriel had been staring at your side of his bed for hours, running his hand across the empty space. He couldn't sleep without your warm body cuddled next to him. Or your soft breathing fanning across his chest. Your very soul had made a home within his heart, and he foolishly never bothered to secure the doors to keep you safe and nurture your love. You weren't a bird to be caged, but he sang your favorite song and each night you’d perch on his arm and stare into his hazel eyes with a look of love and admiration. Azriel was too scared to return the gaze. Too scared to lose the only person that brought him laughter and joy.

He buried his face in your pillow, inhaling the subtle scent of your hair that still lingered. A silent sob escaped his lips. It had been too long. He tried again, inhaling deeper, searching for those notes of magnolia and rose. Gripping the sheets tight in his fists, Azriel let his tears fall freely; your scent was fading. Loneliness followed him to bed that night. The cold of the night, a blanket holding him till he fell asleep. His heaving chest rocked him faster to the nightmares that would now plague him.

~~~~~~~

You sat in the lower levels of the library, the darkness, a familiar friend that brought you company in your solitude. The hum of Bryaxis slumber filled the air, a solemn soundtrack to accompany the tears that rolled down your cheeks. Sadness dotted the pages of the book that sat on your lap, rippled and wrinkled from the volume of your cries.

You could no longer read the pages, vision blurred and hazy. The more you researched the more it became a reality and in truth, you couldn’t stomach the thought. You’d have to visit Helion for clarification. How to undo or break it off before the other end sna-

A gentle shadow wrapped around your wrist, leaving a cool phantom kiss on your knuckles. You summoned a pocket of darkness and quickly sent the book away in a puff of black mist.

Azriel stepped out of a dark corner, concealed in the shadows like a true spymaster. “Love, I’m so fucking sorry. Please, forgive me,” he begged, as he took slow steps towards you.

“I know where I fall in your list of priorities, Azriel. You followed Rhys into his office like a loyal dog, and after that, you went to Elain and now you're here asking for forgiveness?”

Azriels brows furrow, questioning how you knew when you ran out of the house. “Your shadows,” you reply, already knowing his thought process- it seems they’ve betrayed their own master in favor of you. “They’ve told me everything. What you did with Elain and what you did after.”

“Did they tell you how much I love you? How much I crave you?” he cooed softly.

You shook your head. Those words were everything you wanted to hear ‘I love you,’ yet as your head moved side to side, you weren't sure if it was because you didn't believe the words or because It was too late. You wanted to believe him, fall into his arms, and easily forgive.

But your breathing quickens as your memory takes you back to last night. Azriels head thrown back as his hips thrust into Elains mouth. The pleasure that you hoped only you brought him, was written on his face; from the warmth of another female's mouth.

“Forgiveness? I can’t give that to you, not now. Not when every time I close my eyes all I see is your betrayal. All I hear are the words that I longed for mixed with the gagging of Elains throat as she took your cock down her mouth. I’m going to need time and space to forgive you. If the time ever comes.” You look to the ceiling, eyes stinging as you try to hold back the tears, your brave face faltering in vulnerability.

Azriel kneels in front of you, begging for your eyes to meet his. “I’ll spend forever apologizing and when you're ready to forgive me I'll be here. I’ll always be here, as long as it takes.”

“I heard what you said to Cass. That I was a mistake, and a fucking rebound,” you sniffled, fighting back the tears that once again tried to break free from your waterline.

Azriel doesn't miss the way you bite at your lip, the furrow between your brows. He's hurt you. Made you feel inadequate. You had always felt not good enough. Not good enough for your father, your mother. Not good enough to become High Lady of the Night Court.

Once Feyre and her sisters came into the picture you had no place. Feyre became High Lady, Rhysands equal. Not you. Not his flesh and blood. And now Azriels words cemented that feeling. You were the doormat of The Night Court, beloved by its citizens but stepped on by those that mattered to you, and that hurt more than you could bear.

“That's not what I meant! I wanted… I want to do things right. I want us to be together, finally. No more secrets, no hiding. It was a poor choice of words, and for that I’m sorry. But you are not a mistake. If you think you are, I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you're not.”

He reaches for your hand to offer a comforting touch. To soothe the doubt within your heart. If anything else, to touch you one last time and caress the smoothness of your skin.

“Don’t touch me. Not with those hands,” you hiss, jerking your hands away and crossing your arms over your chest. A deep sadness settles over you, knowing the hurt you've caused with the double meaning of your words. You knew it wasn’t due to the scars, those hands had been touching someone else. Bringing another female to climax not even 24 hours prior.

It was that single sentence that broke the spymaster. An aching pressure was felt in his chest, growing into a mass of the insecurity he once had. He couldn't hide the quiver in his bottom lip or the way he felt his stomach cave in itself. You didn’t want him to touch you. His hands were now tainted, dare he say more now than ever before.

A soft cry pushed past his lips as the dam holding his composure finally broke. He stood up and turned his back to you. Wiping away the tears that continued to fall. You quickly followed, itching to place a hand on his shoulder, soothing the turmoil within him.

Your caring nature screamed for you to comfort him and apologize. Causing someone's pain wasn’t in your character, a stark difference from most of your family. But you retracted your hand, and wrapped them around your middle, holding yourself together.

“Do you really hate me?” Azriel whispered as he pulled out his gloves from his back pocket, sliding them on in hopes of hiding the repulsion you felt towards them.

You hesitated for a moment if revealing the truth would change anything. If it would alter the path of your relationship into one that was worth fighting for. But there was no Azriel and Vi, so you’d tell him the truth.

“I hate the way you make me feel. I hate that you embarrassed me in front of my family. I hate that you can make me laugh and cry on the same night. Most of all I hate that you didn't choose me.” You end on an exhale, rubbing your arms up and down, attempting to soothe the heartache.

“This is it then? You’re just giving up on us? Let me at least fix this mess I’ve made. I promise I’ll do better,” he pleads, running his hands through his hair, lightly pulling at the root.

You close your eyes and release a heavy sigh, “There was never an ‘us’ Azriel. As much as I wanted there-

“I want ‘us’ now,” he interrupts, closing the distance as he cups your face between his gloved hands. “Please, love. Give me this one last chance.”

Hazel eyes bore into yours pleading with every ounce of desperation in his voice, “please,” he breathes, gently nuzzling your nose with his. The puff of his breath cools the moisture on your lips, a chill that weakens your knees and for a moment you think to give in. It takes every ounce of control for you to wrap your delicate hands around his wrist and pull them away from your face. “I can’t do this,” you choke, shaking your head, trying to hold back the knot of emotion lodged in your throat as you rush past him, wiping at the lonely tears that have breached your waterline.

His happiness was fleeting, running into the arms of another. Except you didn’t. Not yet, not so soon. That was the difference, he realized. Where Azriel drowned in sorrow the moment you first left, his pain lingered on. Holding onto the pain meant; holding onto you. Holding onto what you once were. Whereas You faced the feeling head-on. You talked about what troubled you, about him, through the pain in your eyes and the wobble in your voice.

No matter how painful it was to relive, you pushed through. Felt deeply and wholly, head first into the unknown and you always managed to stay afloat. It scared him, how open you were with your feelings. Heart on your sleeve, willing to give and give. It was easy for you to love, to feel. And if you spoke of your sorrow so openly, then you’d heal faster and surely fall out of love just as quickly or worse forget him altogether.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feyre was the one to scold Rhys for his actions towards his brother. The cunning High Lord indeed had a trick up his sleeve. One that would ensure Azriel had your best interests at heart. Rhys knew all too well how loyal and dutiful Azriel was to him and he wondered how far that loyalty ran. To what end would he go to please his High Lord? Rhys knew sending Azriel to spy on you was invading your privacy. And that would only anger you if you knew. Rhysand hoped though, that Azriels love for you was stronger than the loyalty he held for his High Lord. He was wrong. Azriel took the punishment without thinking how it would affect you. How following your every move would make you uncomfortable and you’d possibly resent Azriel for agreeing to such a thing.

~~~~~~~~~

The next few days passed in a blur. You had avoided the Inner circle at all costs, not quite ready to comment on the love triangle that unfolded under their nose. You tried to continue your work in Hewn City as you had been for centuries. Although the High Fae preferred you over Rhysand, you were finding it difficult to sway certain policies with Keir. You were a brilliant light in Hewn City, creating an education system that opened their eyes to diversity and understanding amongst their people. They no longer detested lesser fae, a tradition that had been extremely difficult to break. The residents were now free to travel out of the city and some even enjoyed Velaris. All the work you had done was more than Rhys could expect, yet you still felt as if you lacked purpose. It then occurred to you that perhaps you could fulfill that purpose in another court.

You winnowed back to Velaris instantly, running up the steps of the house of wind towards Rhysands office. Excitement in each step as you imagined a new opportunity at your fingertips. One that puts space between your fractured relationship with Azriel as well as a chance to step out of your brother's shadow and into your own. As soon as you opened the door to his office you stilled-causing the person who was trailing behind you to stumble into your back. Azriel straightened, careful not to touch you. “Apologies, I,” Azriel narrowed his eyes at the guest seated across from Rhys, “who are you?”

“Kit!” you blurted out, bouncing to him and embracing him in a crushing hug. Kit wraps his arms around your waist as your hands clasp around his neck. Azriels eyes zero in on where Kit’s fingers dig into your sides, noticing the small caress against your skin. And how he’s pulled your body so tight against his, relishing in your radiate beauty. Or the way his chest expands as he inhales the scent of your hair. “Good to see you again Princess. I was just talking to Rhysand about a proposition.”

Kit’s gaze lands on the Shadowsinger, “ forgive me, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kit, son of Kallias and Vivienne of The Winter Court.” He extends his palm in a friendly greeting towards Azriel. Ever respectful and kind, just as an Heir should be. Azriel runs his eyes over the Princeling, scrutinizing every inch of the male; from his snow-white hair to his pompous pale blue shirt. Even down to how costly his shoes must have been. Seconds passed and Azriel just stared the Prince down, a challenge in his deadly eyes.

“Please excuse my spymaster, Azriel, he's recently gone through a break-up.” Rhysand shoots a glare at the Shadowsinger with a look of disappointment.

A muscle feathered in Azriels jaw. He didn’t like this, not one bit. Kit touched you. Touched what once belonged to him. His shadows curled around his ear whispering all the ways Azriel could kill him. He saw the look in his eyes, longing and desire. Rhys no doubt divulged that break-up comment to open the doors for Kit to swoop right in.

Your eyes drop to the floor, shifting on your feet uncomfortably. Tension in the room doubled as the silence filled the awkwardness.

Kits' attention shifted to you. Noticing your downturned lips and slumped shoulders. Things must have gotten worse between you and Azriel. His icy blue eyes snapped towards the brooding male. “How unfortunate, that when you looked at her you did not feel cauldron blessed to have her. In that case, she must not have been yours to keep,” he pulled you close around the waist, “hopefully she’ll be another males blessing.” Kit smiled down at you, his dimples deep and adorable. You couldn’t help but melt into his side, his touch offering a comfort that you desperately needed.

A dangerous growl ripped through Azriels throat. He rolled his shoulders back, craning his neck from side to side, cracking the tension in his bones. The loud pop of his knuckles rang in your ears as Azriel flexed his fingers into a fist. You’d seen this rage in his eyes many times; right before hand-to-hand combat in the camps.

You quickly glanced at your brother, pleading mind to mind. "Stop this, they’ll kill each other.” Rhys sat back in his chair, legs spread wide and relaxed, "I’ll bet you all the jewels in Velaris Azriel breaks that pretty boy in two."

“Watch your mouth!” Azriel seethed, as he stalked forward, a predator hunting his prey.

Kit moved you to stand behind him, shielding you with his body. He did not back down from confrontation and did not cower. A fighter with words that will knock his opponent where it hurts the most. For wounds heal but poisonous words rot from the inside out. Latching to the mind to burrow and breed the thoughts keeping the nightmares and failures alive.

With every drop of ferocity that flowed through his veins, he struck at the jugular. Pouring salt on the wound of Azriels inferiority complex with malicious intent to hollow him out. “No Shadowsinger! You’re no Prince, nor are you a High Lord or King of any Kingdom. You do not own property and you are not wealthy. You offer nothing to a Princess but anguish and a filthy cock that's been between the legs and mouths of cheap women. You survive by the scraps your friend gives you out of pity for being a bastard born. It is you who needs to watch your tongue. It is you who needs to remember your place.”

Azriel's face was unreadable as he took the insult with his head held high. His breathing turned rapid, with every second that passed. Azriel wanted to wipe that smug look off the princeling's face and scrub the floor with his perfect teeth. Break every finger that had touched you, gouge out the blue eyes that had fantasized about you.

The second Kit took his eyes off Azriel to gawk at you. Azriel pulled Kit by the collar of his shirt, holding him in place as his hammer fist connected with his jaw over and over again. Adrenaline flowed through his body, as knuckles met solid ice beneath the flesh and blood of the heir. Blood sprayed Kit's shirt as a cut splayed open below his eye, most likely from Azriels rings. Kit's head bobbed around lifeless, blood slipping down the corner of his mouth. Azriel couldn’t stop the onslaught of his attack, as he continued to break the heir's nose with a resounding crack.

“Azriel stop!” you screamed, throwing your fist at his back, pulling at his shirt in an attempt to stop the assault. Azriel tried to stop but Kit's crimson smile taunted him each time his fist landed against his pale skin, enraging him more.

“Shit!” Rhys scrambled out of his chair, using his dark power to throw Azriel off the Prince and into the farthest wall. Crashing to the ground Azriels vision cleared, his heart sank at the image of you on the floor cradling the bleeding Prince in your arms, tending to his battered face. “Vi, I’m so sorry I.. I didn’t,-”

“You brutish Illyrian bastard, when will you stop breaking things?!” You looked at Azriel with glossy eyes and blood that wasn't yours smeared against your bosom.

“Pack the rest of your bags sister. You’ll be living in the Winter Court for the foreseeable future. Re-shaping their crumbling Agriculture and stabilizing their infrastructure for future prosperity. The work you’ve done in Hewn City is remarkable, I’m sure you’ll do great things for Kallias and Vivienne. ” Rhys gaze never left Azriel as he delivered the news to you.

‘I’m sorry Az. This was the proposition brought to me today. Vi needs this, she's no longer happy here. And as her brother, I have to do what's best for her.’

Rhys saw the tears well in Azriels eyes. If he hadn't been shattered to pieces before, then this would disintegrate him into ash. Left alone to wander the skies aimlessly, letting the wind tousle and puncture him as he reached for the sun's brightest ray of light.

“Take a good look at him, Vi, He’ll no longer be allowed in The Winter Court after today's attack,” your head whipped from Azriel to Kit, “My father will ban him from ever setting foot on his land again.” A sly grin crossed Kit’s face, victorious in his plan, “Don’t worry shadowsinger, we’re just borrowing her and I promise I’ll keep her safe.” Azriel snarled as Kit grimaced, pushing against your chest for your comforting touch.

He’d fallen into Kit's trap so easily, allowing his anger to blind him from his true intentions. He didn’t even raise his hand to deflect the blows or bother punching back. He took the punches and played victim, the scheming ice Prince. He knew how it looked. The eloquent Prince who had a future and armies at his beck and call.

A Court that he would one day rule for centuries with a palace to call his own, a throne and crown made of diamonds and sapphires. A Night Court Princess turned High Lady to warm his bed and give him Heirs to sit on his throne. Azriel couldn’t offer you any of that. He was a bastard-born Illyrian who tortured people for a living. You deserve a fulfilling life full of happiness, laughter, and love.

You were leaving because of him, and he decided then, that he wouldn’t stop you. It would make him sick, but he’d survive and the sun would rise one day. The future he dreamed of was slowly fading to black and he couldn't imagine a world without you, but you were leaving. He couldn't think of a way to stop the bleeding or to fix what he broke. He couldn’t hold you back. You were a princess, when you were meant to be a queen.

“Throw me in the prison Rhys I don’t care, but if I have to watch her fall in love with him, by the God’s he’ll die by my blade before he lays another hand on her. Punishment be damned” Azriels words pierced through Rhys mind like a violent storm, destroying everything in its way. Rhys chuckled, grinning like a madman towards Azriels words, “there you are brother.” He stretched out his hand to help Azriel get up off the floor, ‘I know now that you love her, but she still needs space. Please respect her decision.’

Rhys jerked his chin towards the door. “Now get out.”

Azriel walked towards the door, looking over his shoulder for one last glance at you. Even with red staining your face, you were still the most beautiful female he had ever seen, yet he took every moment with you for granted. The cauldron was either cruel or he had terrible luck. How is it that his first and ever love would ruin him? How was he to move on from this? He realized too late that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. You had completely shattered his heart and soul, taking the bleeding organ in your hands. “Be happy, love,” he spoke softly, “and for what it’s worth, I have always loved you.” You saw a lone tear run down his cheek as he turned and walked away.

Part 3 coming soon.....

A/n: Thank you for reading.

Taglist: @fuckthatfeeling @celtic-shadow-wolf @crazylokonugget @leyannrae @rehua @readychilledwine @ellievickstar @siriusblackssun @saltedcoffeescotch @b0xerdancer @tothestarsandwhateverend @anainkandpaper @em-marlenesversion @lilah-asteria @mybestfriendmademe @rogersbarnesxx @nayaniasworld @sam-san-sam @yeahimcrying @olive-main

[rizzoreads88]

Azriel slaughtered the males who hurt Gwyn.

A MATE INSTINCT THAT RHYS ALSO HAD WHEN HE FIRST MET FEYRE.

"I debated slaughtering them then and there, but then they shoved you, and I just ... moved." _ACOMAF, CH. 54_

Gwynriel is endgame.

#GwynrielMay2025

it’s intersting you guys claim Azriel had mate behavior HERE even though he doesn’t know gwyn is his mate but then say well he didn’t have a mate reaction when she was kidnapped to the blood rite bc he doesn’t know there mates yet… but we will get to that later in the post…

Ok first let’s look at this logically.

You think Azriel killed the men who SA Gwyn,just passed her on to Mor and continued On his mission. Never even checking up on Gwyn in the almost two years they lived in the NC together Like just to see if she’s ok…and THATS how azriel would act as a mate to you?

In Acotar when Amarantha killed Feyre Rhysand was freaking out and even after she was taken care of and all was said and done Rhysand still stuck around and made sure Feyre was ok days later. He talked w her before he went back to the NC…. & he didn’t even know for sure she was his mate until that convo…He didn’t just help save her, bounce and not talk to her for years.

Azriel was on a mission tracking down pieces of the cauldron when he walked in on a woman being actively SAd. He would have killed those men regardless of who the woman was. “No no he always leaves two alive and he didn’t here so ha! Mate behavior” there were men who got away lol so he didn’t kill everyone bc some were able to escape with a piece of the cauldron…

it became clear some of the soldiers had gotten away with the piece of the Cauldron, so Azriel headed after them.

We are also with Azriel on page in acomaf when he’s telling the Inner circle about this attack on Sangravah and he has no emotional reaction at all.

“I know it’s tied to this. I didn’t want to tell you until I knew for certain. But Azriel confirmed that they’d raided the memorial in Sangravah three days ago. They’re looking for something—or found it.” Azriel nodded in confirmation, even as Mor cast a surprised look in his direction. Azriel gave her an apologetic shrug back.

If he’s recounting what happened in sangravah and remembered what happened to his supposed mate he would feel some rage or anger thinking about it even if he didn’t know why, even if he didn’t know she was his mate yet.

But let’s get back to the blood rite. So multiple men drug and kidnap Gwyn to the blood rite and azriel cares more about saving Eris… where is his mate instincts? If he had mate instincts two years ago he would be having them now too… “well he knew he couldn’t go to the blood rite, there was nothing he could do” ok sure but he was still amoung friends who has shown emotions too. He should have had some sort of big emotional reaction to his supposed mate being in danger scene if he didn’t know it. “Well azriel doesn’t show emotion so there” ok so you’re saying Azriel will show rage and anger over Elain who is not his mate being kidnapped but then just won’t show it over his mate? Yeah we know that doesn’t make sense… “well he had faith in his mate! He knew she could handle herself!” Ok cassian knew nesta could handle herself and had ridiculous death powers and he was still freaking out…

& then even after Gwyn completes the blood rite Emerie and Gwyn are taken to the River house where all the IC is literally the same house Azriel is in… and azriel doesn’t even check up on her to see if she is ok… like the man didn’t even walk a few rooms over to check if his supposed mate is ok? Friends if you truly think this is all mate behavior from Azriel you think he’s a terrible mate and why would you even want any of this for Gwyn?

When Cassian met Emerie he talks about wishing her father was alive so he could kill him himself..

But the scars on Emerie’s wings, proof that she’d never taste the wind again … Half of him wished that Proteus were still alive. If only so he could kill the male himself.

Fae are violent creatures and they often kill to protect people because it’s the right thing to do (in this magical world). I’ll leave with a few other examples of ppl killing others to protect and help people who were not their mates….

Tamlin shredded the Naga who attacked Feyre

Tamlin tried to physically attack Hybern to stop him from throwing the sisters in the cauldron and had to be magically restrained…

Cassian killed a whole village in revenge for his mom

Aelin killed most of Chaols kidnappers

Bryce killed Micah over what he did to Danika and her pack

Rhysand. Cassian and azriel have killed many ppl over the years for things they have done to other people…

Lucien was willing to die fighting the weird Hybern incest twins so feyre could escape back to the NC….

If what he did in Sangravah was because Gwyn was his mate then he would have had mate behavior throughout all of Acosf. And he didn’t. You can’t pick and choose when the mate instincts kick in even if he doesn’t know they are mates and when it doesn’t. If it’s mate instincts regardless of if he knows they are mates or nor they will be there.

Look at Kallias with Vivianne. They didn’t even know they were mates until there wedding night but Kallias still had mate behavior their whole life…

Viviane had not been Under the Mountain. As her childhood friend, Kallias had been protective of her to a fault over the years—had placed the sharp-minded female on border duty for decades to avoid the scheming of his court. He didn’t let her near Amarantha, either. Didn’t let anyone get a whiff of what he felt for his white-haired friend, who had no clue—not one—that he had loved her his entire life……….

[findmeinvelaris]

Every Time Rhysand Says Feyre Darling in The ACOTAR series

ACOMAF

“Hello, Feyre darling.” He purred- CH 4

“Oh, I don’t think so. Not when I need to call in my bargain with Feyre darling.” - CH 5

“Two things, Feyre darling.” - CH 14

“Once Feyre darling returns from the Weaver, we will bring all of Hybern to its knees.” - CH 19

“I’m dying to know what Feyre darling did.” - CH 21

“Lest you think I don’t trust you, Feyre darling…” - CH 25

“Tonight, let’s find out if you, Feyre darling, are all talk- or if you’ll allow a Lord of Night to take you out on the town.” - CH 28

“Careful, Lucien.” Rhysand drawled. “Or Feyre darling will send you back in pieces too.” - CH 47

ACOWAR

“Well? Where shall I begin, Feyre darling?” - CH 14

“You say that, Feyre darling, like it’s a bad thing.” - CH 17

“It’s all part of the game, Feyre darling.” - CH 18

“Let’s see what names you call me when my head is between your legs, Feyre darling.” - CH 20

“How shall I make love to you tonight, Feyre darling?” - CH 29

“Would you like someone to join us in bed, Feyre darling?” - CH 47

“I’m glad you’re bouncing back to your usual spirits, Feyre darling.” - CH 79

ACOFAS

“A thought for a thought, Feyre darling?” - CH 5

“Happy birthday, Feyre darling.” - CH 17

“I’m always eager to learn what sparks your interest, Feyre darling.” - CH 19

ACOSF

“Good thing you benefit from it, Feyre darling.” - CH 41

“Feyre darling-“ - CH 76

[azrielsdove]

Love and Loss: Ch.5

Warnings: Angst, Suggestive, 18+

Ch.4 Here | Ch.6 Here

***

As if Rhysand couldn’t get any more insufferable, he was refusing to get rid of the marriage bond. You had taken to wearing long sleeves, covering the tattoo that symbolized your love for so many years. He was doing it to further upset you, annoyed that his brothers came to your aid. In his mind, everything he did was justified and as their High Lord they should have been on his side.

It took you a week to recover from his attack on your mind, plagued with awful nightmares whenever you tried to sleep. Madja had ended up giving you a sleeping daught, knocking you out for two days straight. You welcomed it, wishing you would never wake.

Azriel and Cassian had decided that one of them would remain by your side at all times. You were getting tired of their constant protectiveness, but you appreciated them more than they would ever know. They could have allowed you to die at Rhysand’s hand that night, standing by their brother as always. Instead they went directly against him, saving your life in the process. You knew they were being punished for their actions. Cassian had told you how he was trying to send them away on different missions, missions they both refused. On more than one occasion they had come back bruised and bloody, a sign of the High Lords anger.

Azriel was sitting with you in the private library, the two of you reading quietly. He was surprised you wanted to return to this room, that you still took comfort in it. You had explained that you refused to let Rhysand take all joy away from you. So he sat in the armchair across from you, a shadow whispering over your skin from time to time.

Your eyes were focused on the book in your hands, but your mind was lost in the memory that had been pulled from you the night of the attack. When you told Azriel about Rhysand, and the strange way he reacted. You had been replaying that afternoon over and over, remembering the way you he avoided you for months after that. It left an uncomfortable feeling in you, like there was something you didn’t know. Rhysand had been ever more charming after that, finding you that night to press harsh kisses on your skin. He left countless marks over you, claiming you as his. Then you thought it was endearing, romantic. Now, you weren’t so sure.

You weren’t sure if anything Rhysand ever did or said was real. As angry as you were at him, you struggled to believe your entire marriage had been a lie. A lie to, he said, ‘dangle over Azriel’s head’. You were beginning to understand there had always been more at stake, and that maybe you chose the wrong male all those years ago.

Your gaze moved up from your book, looking to the male sitting across from you. You took in the way his leg was propped on top of the other, one large hand resting on it. Your eyes traveled up his massive arms, focusing on how tiny his book seemed in his giant grip. His eyebrows were furrowed, hazel eyes moving as they read the words in front of him. You stared at the sharp angle of his jaw, the lip he was biting on as he read. The shadows swirling around him sped up, running through his hair and down his neck at the notice of you. You were overcome with desire for that to be you, to run your fingers down his neck. You imagined the sounds he would make as you touched him, the way he would moan your name when you sucked-

“Hello? You okay over there?” His words broke you out of your heated daydream, your legs squeezing tight together. You couldn’t help the low blush the covered your cheeks, coughing slightly.

“Uh, yea. Sorry. I was just, thinking.” You got out, shoving your face back into your book. You were confused by the sudden lust for your friend, and embarrassed that he had caught you staring at him.

“Okay,” he chuckled, sensing your lie. He turned back to his book, but your eyes didn’t dare move up to him again. What was going on with you?

***

Azriel’s POV

Fuck, he cursed, watching the blush spread over her cheeks. He shifted slightly, trying to cover his hard-on. He hadn’t excepted her to be looking at him like that, pupils blown wide and mouth slightly open. It took everything in him to not jump across the coffee table and take her on that sofa, make her cry out his name for everyone to hear.

He pulled his eyes back to his book, trying to push the filthy thoughts away. He was used to thinking them about her, he would admit. However, he was not used to her thinking them about him. He knew exactly what was going through her mind while her gaze roved over him, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He couldn’t help but think back to all those years ago, when he should have stopped her from going with Rhys.

He had a bad feeling when she had told him Rhys was courting her. Something stirred in his chest, a warning to protect her. He knew his brother was aware how he felt about her, and yet he still chose to peruse her. It seemed most unlike Rhys at the time, to be so blatantly disrespectful to him. The words on the page blurred as his mind went back to that day.

He flew directly to Rhys, certain that she had to be misunderstanding his intentions. He rushed into his study, pulling him out of whatever important documents he was reading. “Az!” Rhys greeted warmly, smiling at him.

Azriel did not return the warmth.

“What are you playing at?” He demanded, shadows flitting about anxiously.

“Excuse me?” Rhys asked, expression turning cold.

“You’re courting her now?” Azriel’s voice was hard, barely keeping his anger in at the wicked smile Rhys threw at him.

“Is that a problem, brother?”

“You know that it is.”

“Do I? All you said is that you think there is something between you. If she wanted you, why would she choose to go with me?”

Azriel’s temper flared, his wings spreading as his anger ran through him. “Why go after her, Rhys?”

He took in the cold eyes and cruel smile on the High Lords face, unable to believe this was the same male he had called his brother all these years. “I like a challenge, Az.”

“She isn’t a game, Rhysand.”

“Not her. You. How far are you willing to go to get the girl?” Azriel glared at the teasing look on his face, wanting to rip it off.

“I will not interrupt her happiness with you. If you truly love her, I will stand down.”

Rhys laughed. “Ever the gallant male.” He stood, walking around the desk to face Azriel. “I don’t love her yet. I do, however, love making you mad. I love the sounds she makes when she’s under me, I love the way she moans my name. Would you like to see, brother?”

Azriel’s mind was blank with rage. He hadn’t even realized he had lunged at the other male until the two of them tumbled out the window, wings beating furiously as they fought in the air. “You are a dirty bastard, Rhysand!” Azriel bellowed, the wind whipping between the two of them wickedly.

“You can do better than a little no-one fae!” Rhys yelled back, laughter on his lips.

“I won’t let you treat her like this!” Azriel went for him again, missing by an inch as Rhys dodged his grasp.

“I treat her wonderfully. She feels loved and happy, does she not? She’s certainly beautiful enough to be the wife of the High Lord, wouldn’t you agree?”

“You disgust me.”

“Ah, but do I? Would you not do anything to have her as your own? You understand the draw she has, the desire to taste her.”

One of Azriel’s shadows hit Rhys square in the chest, causing him to fall back in the air. “You don’t deserve her.”

Rhys flew back up, annoyed at this argument. “Are you going to be the one to break her heart? Tell her i’m just playing her? You can’t deny her happiness is real, you know I will keep it that way. Do you really want to destroy her perfect little world?”

Azriel paused, the words ringing true. There was no way to prove how Rhys was acting now, especially not when she believed him to handpick the stars in the sky for her. She was in love with his brother, and he couldn’t stop it. “You think you could love her one day?” His question came out hoarse, emotion taking over him.

Rhys looked almost pityingly at his brother, flying back to land on the window in his office. “I could,” he said honestly. “What may have started as a way to get under your skin is turning into something true. She really is quite amazing, Az.” His voice was softer now, a vulnerability shining through. Azriel hovered in front of his brother, a pang in his heart at his words.

“Promise to make her happy. Don’t ever let her find out why you went after her in the first place.” Azriel said, crossing his arms. If his brother was going to act in this way, the least he could do was try to preserve her peace.

“I will. Always. Don’t ruin this for her, Azriel. I need a strong female behind me, but also one who respects and listens to me. She’s proven to be that. She’s perfect for what I need. Letting her become unhappy would destroy what i’ve created.” Rhys said, leaning back on the window frame.

Azriel nodded, still uncertain about this situation. “I will be close by if she needs me.” He said, a threat to his words.

Rhys gave him that horrible wicked smile, a tease in his eyes. “She won’t. She will be too busy screaming my name whenever you’re around.”

Azriel shook his head, forcing himself out of the memory. He was a damn fool for letting Rhysand manipulate him like that all those years ago. He had still believed he wasn’t worth anything back then, that no one would ever love him. It was only rather recently he had begun to think otherwise. He was ashamed of his past self, regret flowing through him. He wished he could go back in time and take her far, far away from this court.

Maybe it wasn’t too late for that.

***

Reader POV

You laid awake that night, staring at the high ceilings of your room. The shadow Azriel kept with you floated about, twirling delicately through the air. You felt a crushing sadness, the truth about everything taking over you. You hated how much you missed Rhys. He was always so in tune with your emotions, knowing the exact perfect thing to say in any situation.

You couldn’t help but wonder if that was all part of his horrible game.

The tears slid down your face, silent and full of pain. You had never imagined a life without him. To you, Rhysand had been your everything. He was your husband, your High Lord, the joy of your life. You two had been discussing children before he was taken Under the Mountain, ready to take that next step together. You couldn’t tell if you were sad or happy that your attempts hadn’t yet succeeded by the time he was gone.

The little shadow came down, sliding across your damp cheeks. You knew it was alerting Azriel, letting him know something was wrong. You didn’t have the energy to wave it away. You were drained, tired. Your anger overshadowed your pain most of the time, but when night came the ache in your chest made itself known. You felt as if your heart was ripping itself in two, screaming at the hurt of it all.

Your bedroom door burst open, Azriel rushing to your side. You didn’t even move to look at him, having no will to do so. He silently slid into the bed with you, wrapping his arms and wings around you. He kissed your hair, a murmur of “I’m so sorry” falling from his lips. His embrace reminded you of how it used to be, before you got tangled up with the High Lord. The two of you used to fall asleep close together nearly every night, finding a comfort in each other you hadn’t had before.

You began to drift off at his soothing presence, tears slowing. The thought you’d been having too often lately circled your mind, leading you into sleep. You wanted to ignore it, the implications it held too frightening for you to deal with right now. Had you overlooked what had been right in front of you this whole time?

***

Ahhhh I love this chapter!!! Please let me know what you think <3. Thank you for all your love and support on this story, it means so much that so many of you wait for each chapter to come out !!

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[moonlitstoriess]

Across the Universe-ch.16 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

See masterlist

Unsatisfied and frustrated doesn't even begin to describe how she was feeling at the moment. After Eva called her down, Fenrys and Y/n waited until she was gone before adjusting their appearances and leaving her room together. Of course, throughout their little journey towards the sitting room, they could only steal glances at each other because there were servants all around them.

And it was killing her. It was killing her how she couldn't just drag him back into the room and finish what they started but....all this lust started to disappear as soon as they entered the room and she heard the ugly voice of the Book of Breathings hissing.

They entered at the same time as Aelin and Rowan and moved towards the table around which everyone was gathered, their faces frustrated and confused. The book just wouldn't stop hissing and once she reached the table, coming to stand right beside Lysandra, y/n could finally understand what it was talking about.

"They are coming"

"For her, for her"

"They are coming for her"

"Magic is shifting"

"What in the seven hells does any of this mea-" Aedion's words cut off by Yrene shushing him, clearly telling everyone to be quite for a little more.

"They are interfering"

"Gates, shifting"

It was as if there were multiple voices, all hissing the same things at once.

Aelin looked concerned as she looked at no one in particular and asked, "I don't understand. Is it talking about the valg's coming? Because we already know that."

Yrene shook her head, "No. You're right, we do know that already so it must be saying something else. Did you hear what it said? Something about shifting magic and interference."

Elide crossed her arms, gaze still locked on the book. "Yes, but what does that mean? Who is interfering?"

Y/n took a sharp breath in before asking the book directly, "What are you talking about, exactly? Who is interfering? Is this about the valgs?"

And then the book said only two words which were more than enough to answer her questions,

"Death Incarnate."

Y/n may not be the most genius fae to ever exist, but she for sure would know that only one being across any universe has this title.

Her ex friend, her ex high lord, the one who came to her doorstep in the first place.

Rhysand.

Her gaze locked with Lucien's who, seemingly, also understood what was going on as his eyes widened.

Her body suddenly grew colder as she asked with a shaky voice, "Is-is he interfering with the gates? Is he the reason for the shift in magic or whatever? Is- are they coming?"

"Who?"

"What are you talking about, y/n?"

"Who is 'he'?"

She ignored everyone elses questions as her mind was solely focused on the book and what it would say.

"Yes. They are trying to come."

She should feel happy, hopeful. They were coming to get her and once the valgs were killed, the gates were closed, she would get to go back to her world. She should be happy. She should be grateful. But why wasn't she? All she felt was dread and anger at the prospect of having to face them as well.

"Shhh, y/n. I am here, you are safe, just relax."

It wasn't until she felt Fenrys' grounding touch and sweet whispers in her ear that she realized her whole body was shaking as her eyes were distant, ears not hearing anyone but her own thoughts.

"Someone, please get water."

Fenrys led her to the small lounge chair and sat her down as Lysandra gave the cup full of water for her but quickly changed the route and handed it to Fenrys after seeing her shaking hands. The male helped her drink it before placing the cup on a nearby table and holding her hand while caressing her back with the other hand.

Chaol looked at Lucien, "What is going on?"

The prince just sighed before replying, "Death Incarnate is the title of Rhysand. The high lord of the Night Court. And y/n was asking if it was him who was the cause for the shift in the gates, if he and the rest of his court were trying to come here and apparently, according to the book, they are."

Once Lucien's words were out, y/n felt Fenrys' whole body stiffen, his hold on her to tighten as he slowly turned his head sideways to look at her friend.

Manon looked at Lucien, her anger clearly evident in her voice as she asked, "The same court that mistreated her? That lied to her?"

"What are you talking about?" Aedion's voice was full of confusion as he looked at the witch, expecting her to reply.

Manon's gaze came to y/n, her eyes asking for permission to tell them what they need to know. She nodded her head, too tired to argue or think of anything as the witch turned back around and explained what y/n once told her, filling the ones who didn't know in on the situation back in Prythian.

Once she was done explaining, y/n could physically feel the tension in the room that could be cut with a knife.

"Oh Gods..." Aedion's mouth was hanging open as Lysandra crossed her arms, the shifters tone cool as she declared, "They are fools for coming here, then."

Rowan nodded his head. "Because we won't let them live what they did to you down."

Elide put her head on a distressed Lorcan's arm as she said, "How can you go back with them, y/n? I do hope that once you do, you will leave them immediately."

Dorian shook his head, glanced at Fenrys with a knowing look, "Whatever the case is, they are not welcome here. They are clearly not wanted by the book either because their interference is causing a shift in the magic. We have to finish this job by the day of the lunar eclipse. And if they do somehow appear, then the choice to make will be y/n's and no one elses."

Lucien sighed, coming forward and placing a comforting hand on y/n's shoulder, "They- I don't even know what happened to them. I will be honest, me and them were never truly close....we have a long and complicated history which is why they never fully liked me, especially Rhysand and Mor-"

"Who is Mor?!" Petrah's voice sounded frustrated and protective as she looked directly at Lucien from her position on the opposite couch.

The prince gave Manon's second in command a small shake of his head and said, "She is....well, let that be a story for another time because her main issue isn't even directly related to me, her issue is with my brother."

"So, she is an idiot then."

They all looked at Lorcan as Lucien coughed out an "Excuse me?!"

The tall man just shrugged his shoulders, "If she is hating on you simply for whatever your brother did, then she is a fool and so is the rest of them if they support her."

"I agree." Petrah didn't sound happy at all as she voiced her agreement.

Y/n managed to place a reassuring hand on Lucien's as the redhead said, "Well, that isn't the main point. My point is, they- I never expected them to be like that towards y/n because, after all, they knew her for so long and from what I saw, enjoyed her company extensively. They were like family. Especially Cassian, Rhysand, Mor and Amren. And then Feyre and her sisters came into the portrait and everything just went downhill from there. And Azriel-"

"Is mine."

Y/n froze.

Lucien froze.

Everyone froze.

The room went silent as all head turned to the owner of that statement.

Fenrys.

When she looked at him, y/n only saw anger, possessiveness and violence readiating of off him. His expression, his eyes and his body.

She broke the silence, speaking for the first time since sitting down. "Fenrys, what- what do you mean?"

His intense gaze landed on her as he simply said in a chilly tone, "I mean, if he dares to step here, to come within my vicinity, then he is mine. Mine to break, mine to deal with, mine to beat up and mine to destroy. You all can deal with the rest of them but I will say it now, no one touches Azriel. He is mine."

Her eyes widened as she and Lucien spoke at the same time,

"Fenrys, no. You don't- it will only bring more trouble than necessary to you."

"Rhysand is the most powerful high lord, he won't let you treat his brother like that."

"Watch me."

From the way he sounded and looked, Fenrys was not fooling around, nor was he afraid of what Lucien just revealed to him. Y/n didn't know whether to feel safe or worried.

Aelin cleared her throat, drawing all the attention to her. "Well....this is definitely a new side of Fenrys I have never seen. What about you two?" she looked between her mate and Lorcan.

The two male's exchanged knowing looks, Rowan seemingly realizing the reason for Fenrys' sudden protectiveness as he said, "Believe me fire heart, this is new for us as well."

Lorcan smirked, "Yes, very new."

Yrene's calm voice filled the room as she said, "I don't think I can keep that book in our room, it talks too much."

Aelin moved towards the object and took it, ignoring it's protests as she turned towards the doors, followed by her mate, "I am taking this to the library. I need Arthur to have a look at this thing."

As everyone slowly began to leave the room, Lucien gave her shoulder one final squeeze before moving to help a struggling Petrah up, and leaving with her still asking him, "What's that Mor's issue with you?"

"Petrah, not now."

"No! Tell me, I must know so that when I see her, I will know how to attack her."

"Are you mad?! Over my dead body will I allow you to get yourself involved in this mess."

Y/n smiled at the couple's banter as their voices slowly began fading away, leaving her and Fenrys alone in the room. She sighed but leaned her head on his chest, causing his arm to come around her waist and slowly help her get up.

Once out in the hall, she detached herself from him as they began to walk silently.

"Fenrys, you shouldn't attack Azriel if he shows up here."

"Y/n, my respect and care for you is eternal, but I will have to go against your wishes on this one because even hearing his name causes so much rage to bubble up within me. Now, imagine I get to finally see him in real life, how can I hold myself back? It's as if fate has delivered him to me on a silver platter. As if he is wishing for death by coming here."

As they began climbing up the stairs she could only manage to squeeze his arm, "Fenrys-"

"What did I tell you, y/n? That I will protect your light from any darkness that dares to approach. Azriel is that darkness and I won't hesitate to end him if he even comes into the same world as you."

They reached her room, she opened her door and turned to look at him, "Please, please, Fenrys. You may hurt yourself-"

"And what about you? You were hurt countless times by him, by his friends and by someone else whom you clearly won't tell me about but that is fine, I am willing to wait on that. Whatever the case is, you are not alone princess. Not anymore. Not as long as I live."

And with that, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and turned towards his own room, quietly saying, "Get some rest now, princess. You have had a long day."

She couldn't sleep the night away, her thoughts filled with everything that was happening around her. By the time sunrise hit, y/n was once again heading towards the training area but stopped once a thought came to her head. She turned in her path, heading towards the library, her determination growing with each step that she took.

When she reachd the large area, y/n saw a tall, frail and quite old male in robes putting books inside the shelves. When he heard her enter the room, the male turned towards her and gave y/n a small, polite smile, "Welcome, my name is Arthur and I am one of the three head protectors of this ancient library."

Y/n gave him a small smile in return and said, "Hello, Arthur. My name is Y/n and I believe queen Aelin brought a book here last night?"

The librarian nodded his head, "Oh, yes. Her majesty asked me to keep it safe and protected here so I put it under wards."

She fiddled with her fingers as she asked him, "Could I- could I please take it for a short moment? I have some questions that I believe it can answer so..."

Arthur smiled and gestured for her to follow him. "Of course, y/n. I know of you so I am aware that the book responds well to you and only you. No one else."

He brought her to a medium sized, square table. with the book in it's center, emanating magical essence from around it. Arthur said a couple of words before the room suddenly felt less heavy and suffocating. He turned towards her and said, "I removed the main wards, still keeping some precautionary ones around. Do be careful, y/n, don't stay with it for too long."

She nodded her head at him. "Believe me, I am very well aware of it. Thank you, Arthur. I only need a couple of minutes."

The male nodded and left the corner in which they were in, heading back towards the other end of the room, leaving her alone with the ancient object.

Y/n sighed before coming to stand right in front of it, steadying her voice as she spoke, "I am not scared of you anymore. You fooled me the first time by sending me here but you can't fool me this time around."

The book replied with a knowing tone, "Good, because I am not sending you anywhere anymore, Illyrian."

Realization slowly dawned upon her, "You knew, didn't you? All this time, you knew that I had a mate here. That this was where I was meant to be sent."

"I did say that you are home now when I sent you here didn't I, child?"

She sighed, "Yes, you did. And....what now? Do I just accept it because you sent me here?"

"You tell me, witch. What do you think you must do?"

"I don't know."

"My job was to only send you here. The choice to make will be yours. Elara said as much."

"Wait. My mother- you- how?"

"She managed to bypass all of the high lord's wards and contact me. Ordered me to do what I did and how could I say no to the most powerful ironteeth witch, Elara?"

Her heart warmed. Her mother, the woman whom she didn't even know of for most of her life, was the one who started it all. She smiled gently, reminiscing the mother whom she only knew for such a short time.

"I think I know my answer now."

"You do not have any more questions left in you?"

"No, I have finally understood my purpose. Goodbye."

As she turned around and left, y/n heard the book say, "Make the right choice, child."

"She is your mate, isn't she?"

Fenrys paused his eating and lifted his head to see Rowan enter the room. The blond just muttered some incoherent sentence before resuming his eating. Rowan came and sat on the opposite chair, giving him an amused look.

"Seems like you have worked up quite the appetite. Apparently being a territorial fae bastard turns you into a starved wolf."

"I am not a territorial fae bastard." Fenrys grumbled while his mouth was full of food.

Rowan smirked, "Well, Aelin calls me that whenever I do what you just did in the sitting room last night."

"And what did I do exactly?"

"Get all protective and posessive over your mate."

"We aren't mates."

Rowan chuckled "Oh please, Fenrys. We all saw you stake a claim on y/n in that room. Besides, I already had my suspicions and Lorcan isn't the best secret keeper."

Fenrys clenched his fists on the table. "That little prick. I knew I couldn't trust him."

"So you are mates. Fenrys, you hurt my feelings by choosing to tell this to Lorcan over me."

Fenrys playfully rolled his eyes at his friend and said, "Shut up, bird. Besides, we don't even know if we will be together. Neither of us has accepted the bond."

Rowan's expression became grim. "So I've heard. Seems like you both are scared."

Fenrys sighed "Truthfully, I would be lying if I said that I am sure everything will be perfect. That I will accept the bond and already be deep in love with her. I do feel a lot for y/n but love is something I never had any experience in and.....with the kind of a past that I have, I am of course afraid. Afraid of scaring her away or doing something wrong. But what I do know is that I would never hurt her. And I am willing to accept the bond because I do like her and imagining a forever with y/n does bring me so much joy."

The prince nodded his head at his friends confession and after a moment replied, "You truly need one another, Fenrys. You need healing and so does she, from whatever nightmares she has endured. You both can heal together. Heal each other. Learn to love not only yourselves but also the world around you."

Fenrys gazed towards the window behind his friend, his expression thoughtful. "She is afraid, Rowan. Her life hasn't been easy and it seems like she hasn't gotten to feel joyful much because so many good things have been taken away from her. One of them being..." Fenrys had to reign his anger in as he said, "Azriel."

Rowan nodded his head slowly, gesturing for his companion to go on. Fenrys inhaled a sharp breath in before continuing, "He pretended to be in love with her, Rowan. In love. And she believed him, she believed him and overlooked all the other signs like them not being mates in favor of loving him. But, all this time he was being a bastard who lied to her. What a little coward. I hate him for breaking her, for shattering her heart and making her doubt herself. I meant what I said, Rowan. I will kill him if I see him."

The prince shook his head slowly, "No, you can't kill him."

Fenrys' brows furrowed "What?"

"I said, you can't kill him. I won't allow you to."

Fenrys scoffed, "Please, don't act so almighty with me. If the roles were reversed and Azriel had done all that to Aelin, you would rip him to shreds."

Rowan smiled slightly, "True, but the roles aren't reversed, are they? So, I won't allow you to kill him"

"What?! That's just-"

"He has a mate, Fenrys. You can't do that."

"Like I care. That viper mate of his should also stay away from me if she values her life. She has just as much of a fault in this as he does. I will kill him, Rowan. I am sorry but I won't follow your order on this one."

"I said don't kill him but I never said don't beat him to the brink of death."

Fenrys' eyes widened as Rowan laughed and winked at his friend before getting up and heading towards the door, "You underestimate me, Fenrys. They hurt your mate so of course you should destroy him, just don't kill him and cause an extra headache for us all with a court that isn't even from our world. Oh, and...."

Rowan gave a final look at Fenrys before closing the door, "If they even manage to come here and try something, believe me Fenrys, they will be going back home with broken ego's and shattered bones. Whether or not y/n will be going with them is up to her."

The old house stood silent, its windows staring out like blank eyes into the night.

Y/n must have read this sentence for what feels like the millionth time in the book. Her mind was just too mixed up with other things that she couldn't even concentrate on reading a single sentence from a random book.

"You are reading 'Whispering Windows'? Gods, that's the most boring book I've ever read."

Y/n looked from her place on the couch to see Manon and Eva entering the room as the younger girl made a disgusted face at the book y/n was holding.

"What, you don't like it?"

"Like it? The whole plot is so predictable that by the end when the supposed plot twist happens, you already expected it."

Manon came and sat beside y/n as Eva lay down on the carpeted floor, propping her head on one hand. The witch smirked after taking a peek into the book y/n was reading. "Don't worry Eva, it seems like y/n hasn't even gotten past the first page yet."

Y/n sighed and put the book down, "Yes, can't really concentrate right now."

"Why not?" Eva's voice sounded curious but Manon gave a knowing look at y/n as she said, "Because her mind is currently elsewhere. Something having to do with a certain mate perhaps?"

Eva's eyes widened and she immediately jumped up before y/n could even answer the question, "You have a mate?! Since when?! Is it Fenrys-"

Y/n quickly put her palm on the girls mouth, shutting her up, as she hissed, "Yes, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go around shouting it for all to hear."

She brought her palm down from Eva's mouth as the girl whispered, "Fenrys is your mate? Oh Godsss!!"

"Calm down, it's not like either of them has accepted it yet." Manon crossed her arms as she looked expectantly at y/n.

"How did you-"

"Know? Hmmm, I have my ways." the queen winked at her before nudging her on the ribs, "So, what will happen between you two? Are you planning on accepting it?"

Y/n tilted her head backwards on the couch and closed her eyes.

"Uh-oh."

Y/n's eyes opened once again as she looked at Eva "What?! I didn't even say anything yet."

The girl shrugged her shoulders before smiling, "You don't need to. Your posture just told me everything I needed to know and then your delay in answer proved me right."

Y/n and Manon both looked at her with slightly wide eyes as the former whispered, "Wow"

Manon turned to look at her once again, "You are going to reject the bond?! Why?"

Y/n sighed, "I went and talked with the Book of Breathings earlier today and turns out my mother was the one behind it all from the start. She knew I had a mate here so she managed to get me sent to this place, effectively making my and Fenrys' paths cross and that just gave me the answer I needed. Assured me of my choice."

"Which is?"

Y/n looked at both of them beore saying in a steady voice, "No."

"What?!"

"Why?!"

Both the queen and the girl shouted at the same time, still looking surprised by her choice.

She put her palm over both of their mouths' as she said, "If you will just shut up and allow me to talk, I will explain."

Once they both stayed quiet, y/n let out a breath and said, "As I mentioned, my mother had a hand in this, in us crossing paths. That's why I feel as if I have forced myself upon Fenrys. If I accept this, I will force him to be with me because we didn't meet naturally. I am afraid that at some point, he will realise this and stop feeling all those things for me and leave like Azriel did. Like everyone always does-"

"I will have to stop you right there." Manon's voice sounded firm yet reassuring and determined as she placed a hand on y/n's shoulder.

"I understand your fears. You have had some hard times in your life it seems, and have loved the very few things you considered good. Such as those fae and especially Azriel. But, they left you alone after you have loved so much and been so vulnerable that now you find it hard to open up again. But believe me, y/n. That isn't your fault at all. They didn't leave because you were mean, bad, unusual or something else but because they themselves are the problem. They are the liars and hypocrites. Not you."

When y/n opened her mouth to say something, Manon put up a hand and said, "Now, as for the whole being sent here situation, if not now then when? If your mother wouldn't have done what she did at that exact time to get you here then when, exactly would you have a chance to come here again? To cross paths with Fenrys? He adores you, y/n. He is ready to go to the ends of the world as long as it's with you. Believe me, Fenrys has changed so much for the better since your arrival. No one has had this effect on him but you. Only you."

Y/n's eyes watered slightly as Eva hugged her silently and Manon squeezed her hand with a reassuring smile, "Just think about it."

Y/n gave her a small smile in return as she nodded her head and sat with them in a comforting silence a little more, thinking over what Manon just said.

It was sunset when she was sitting in the gazebo, staring out into the ethereal view of flowers and other plants. Her surroundings were so serene and peaceful, contrasting with her inner turmoil as y/n was once again, lost.

"May I?"

That voice that always caused a warm feeling to envelop her. That calm yet deep voice that never fails to make her squirm in her seat. The only voice that ever made her feel such things.

Fenrys' voice.

Y/n lifted her head up to see him standing in front of the gazebo, a small smile on his face, looking as angelic as ever. She managed to smile back and nod her head.

He came and sat right next to her, his comforting scent invading all her senses as she couldn't stop her body from leaning against him causing Fenrys to immediately wrap an arm around her waist and put his head on hers.

She felt so safe in his arms. So safe and protected, as if no harm could ever come to her as long as she was with him. And truthfully, y/n did start thinking that it was like that. But then again, another small part of her was still unsure, still telling her that this would never end well. That this was a forced story.

"You seem deep in thought"

His voice that seems to turn gentle only when talking to her brought her back from her thoughts as y/n asked him the question she has been dying to get an answer for.

"Are you truly happy to have me as a mate?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know, just.... I don't know"

She felt him pull her slightly away so that they can look at each other. Fenrys' brows were furrowed as he looked expectantly at her.

Y/n sighed, "I- I just- forget it."

"No, I won't forget it because you will tell me what is causing you any trouble so that I can smooth it out."

Her eyes widened, "You care about me that much? You- you would try to solve my problems for me?"

Fenrys' arm around her tightened as he said, "Of course I care about you. In fact, I more than care about you. Your troubles are my troubles and so, I would do everything in my power to get rid of every single one of them until you are feeling at peace. Feeling safe-"

"I do feel safe, Fen. Whenever I am with you is when I feel safe."

He seemed to be surprised about that because now it was his eyes that widened. "You do?"

"Of course I do, Fenrys. I feel safe, cared, supported, appreciated and even loved whenever I am with you. You have shown me the love no one has ever shown before. That's why I am afraid that you may doubt this at some point in the future. I am afraid that you- that your feelings will change and you will also leave-"

Her words were silenced by Fenrys' lips on hers. He kissed her fiercely, full of adoration and passion while his hand kept on caressing her back.

When he pulled away from her, his breath heaving, as he put both of his hands on each side of her face, "Never say such things ever again. I would never and I mean never knowingly hurt you. I would rather get my skin ripped off my body than ever betray you, princess. I am ready to spend an eternity with you, I will accept it right this moment, even. But I am more than willing to wait until you are ready to make a choice."

A tear slipped down her eye before Fenrys kissed it away as y/n smiled at him, feeling so warm after the confession he made. "I think- I think I know my answer, Fen. I just need a little more time to be sure."

Fenrys smiled brightly and kissed her other cheek as he pulled her back into his chest and put his head back on hers. "Once you are ready, I will be here, waiting and ready to soothe your doubts."

Once they arrived to dinner, the room was full with everyone chattering and discussing things, Dorian's voice loudest of all as he mentioned that there were only two days left until the lunar eclipse now.

"Well, with two groups, I believe we have a chance at winning." Lysandras confident voice filled the room as she playfully hit the back of Dorian's head while passing by his chair.

Y/n sat down next to Fenrys as she asked no one in particular, "Who is going where?"

Dorian smiled brightly and pointed to himself as he said, "Of course, the one and only me, Eva, Elide, Yrene and Lucien are staying with you. The rest are going after the valgs."

"And me." came Fenrys' voice from beside her, full of determination.

Aelin cleared her throat, "Fenrys, you can shift. You would be more helpful with us-"

"I am staying with y/n."

"Fenrys-"

"No."

"Fenrys," y/n put her hand on his, causing him to look at her, his gaze immediately softening.

"Please, you will be more helpful in the fight against the valg."

"But-"

"I will be fine, Fen. I won't be alone, right?"

Yrene nodded her head "Of course, we will be with you every step of the way."

Y/n smiled and looked back at him. "See? You shouldn't worry about me."

He sighed and clearly was willing to protest more but one look from y/n caused him to give her a resigned nod.

After a while, as everyone kept on talking, y/n noticed that Petrah seemed to be smiling which was the most unusual thing ever because y/n never saw her smile fully. One look at Lucien confirmed what she thought. He told her that they were mates and from the small shake of his head that Lucien gave y/n, she understood that neither of them haven't accepted the bond, just getting to first know more of one another. Just like her and Fenrys, it seems.

As the dinner went on, y/n's doubts were mostly fogotten as she immersed herself in the endless conversations happening around her, feeling more at home than she ever had. And through it all, she felt Fenrys' firm yet reassuring hold on her hand, his presence like a light at the end of the dark tunnel.

Y/n knew that this was far from over, that they had trouble coming in two days but right in this moment, she was more than ready to face whatever that was coming as long as she had Fenrys by her side.

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