#ch: birdie goldstein

[ofzahras]

Zahra glanced down at her feet, deeply embarrassed by the reality of her situation. "Kind of, if you can call me covering my fridge with the due date receipts a system. It has worked pretty well so far. It’s definitely not aesthetically pleasing in the slightest, but gets the job done.” Zahra wanted to be one of those well-organized Excel and spreadsheet type of people, but so far she hadn’t picked up the needed skillset, nor the motivation.

The rigidness in her voice had dissipated slightly, making her sound less defensive, leaving behind just the very obvious physical and mental exhaustion. Still, she seemed to pick up as Birdie described what she had been up to. “I mean yeah, that’s definitely work, but it at least sounds like you’re mostly enjoying it. That’s good.” Thank god she could already see the book drop and would soon be rid of her shameful cargo. “Have you found anything interesting? Could definitely use some recommendations.” While she had never played an instrument and could not say she was a particularly gifted singer, music had always been one of her dearest hobbies and one of the main reasons why she loved living in the city. "Oh? That sounds exciting."

Birdie didn't buy a word the other said, but she was willing to drop the subject. After all, she found out years and years ago that it was impossible to force any sort of change upon someone else, it was something they had to do themselves. "Right." She continued to make her way into the library with the other, "You must have one hell of an organizing system to make sure you don't catch a bunch of late fees for these things." If she checked out this many books at a time, she was liable to forget a good chunk of them and create a mess for herself in fees.

"Somewhat." She responded to the question. "Unfortunately, I haven't been able to take my own advice as of late. I've been spending a lot of my off time looking into some of the local bands for some new stuff for the station, which might bring about some fun, but is still technically work." That part was hard to set down with the incredible music scene in the city. "Who knows, maybe I'll go to that Devil's Night coming up at the She Shed for non-work related fun."

[ofzahras]

Zahra wanted to argue and assure she was indeed doing just that, but the words didn't make their way out of her mouth. He lips twitched slightly as she sighed and reached to rub her aching neck. Previously figuring out work-life balance hadn't been such a daunting task; she had been able to distance herself from her research the moment she closed her laptop or put away whatever book she was reading. Recently, however, she seemed to be spending more and more time thinking about and dreading over work. "Yeah, I know. I do have fun," she replied, well aware just how defensive she sounded. "Anyway, better ge these inside." Oh, how she wanted to change the subject.

She glanced at Birdie, trying her very best to smile somewhat convincingly. "What have you been up to? Been busy?"

"Well, I'm more than willing to try anything at least once, even if it's not the most exciting." She felt like that was a fairly accurate statement. In her opinion, it was hard to figure out what you liked, what you were good at, and what worked best for you if you never branched out and tried new things. On the flipside, it was entirely possible that she ran through new experiences too fast and never gave things their proper time.

"On top of being a person and experiencing life." Birdie never felt like life should be all work, there had to be a balance. Living life without doing anything for yourself to relax sounded like a miserable way to live. "Not even necessarily in a fun way. I mean, reading all that on top of maintaining things around my place feels like it would suck up more time than I could possibly have." There never seemed to be enough hours in the day. "But, you know, there definitely be some time for fun or at least something enjoyable too."

[ofzahras]

"I highly recomend it. Works better than any melatonin or sleeping pill I've tried." Admittedly reading academic literature related to her research project before bed had caused some rather anxious dreams for Zahra, but sometimes restless sleep was better than no sleep at all. She was still hopeful a breakthrough would eventually come, and the smart, logical part of her that was highly unlikely to happen if she evaded sleep any more than she already did. The chapters she had written while completely sleep-deprived were hardly worth keeping and not anything she wanted to share.

Zahra nodded, grateful Birdie didn't seem to expect any more words of praise for helping her out. "It's kind of the only thing that is really expected of me at this point, you know. Well, that and writing," she explained, "so realistically I should have enough time to get through them." She definitely hadn't.

As much as Birdie liked to learn all about all sorts of things, the title of the book wasn't one that held her attention. "Sounds like it." A snort followed her comment before she continued, "You might be onto something there with the bedtime reading. If I read something like that, it might put me right to sleep." Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. Her sleep schedule had been a mess for who even knew how long at this point, so honestly she would be willing to try anything to get it even remotely on track again, even if it meant reading something that might bore her to tears.

"It's no problem." She brushed off the thanks as she looked over the books in her hands. Even when she was younger and on track to becoming one of those gifted kids she didn't think she would've been capable of getting through all this material. "Jeez, how do you even find the time to read all this? I'm lucky if I manage to find the time to read two or three books in a month."

[ofzahras]

"Oh yeah", she glanced at one of the books towards the top of the bag. "Religious Ethics and Constructivism: A Metaethical Inquiry. Just something fun for bedtime, you know how it is." Her tone was dry but her sharp features had softened the moment she had spotted Birdie. At one moment in time she might have very much considered the title in question just that, fun, but as of late Zahra hadn't exactly found any of her research books or research papers page-turners.

Zahra nodded as Birdie offered to help. Deciding against arguing and claiming she didn't need the help, she bent down to reach for a few hefty titles and handed them over. "Thank you. It was a pain to get them here."

It often felt like there was never enough time in the day to get to all the hobbies she wanted to. There were so many books left unread, movies left unseen, albums left unheard, and knowledge left unknown. It was one of those things that Birdie tried to accept best she could and not dwell on too much. And thankfully she could do just that as she spotted a familiar figure on the steps.

Her eyes immediately landed on the other's bag, her shoulder hurting at the mere thought of carrying it herself. "Just finish some light reading?" Her question was more of a lighthearted jest than anything else. "If you want, you can take some of those out and hand them to me to carry. Might be a little easier than trying to lug that thing inside as is." With her own hands empty, she didn't mind helping out and it was hardly an inconvenience.