#certified good dude
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I want to shake Grant like a can of soda (affectionate).
He’s such a unique blorbo because 90% of his personality is just my headcanons because the video game company that owns him hates him for some reason. ;-;
#don’t care tho#best boi#100/10#certified good dude#protecting him from Konami and adaptations with my life#grant danasty#castlevania#castlevania iii
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Blood Blossom lore for the Blood Blossom Au
Blood Blossoms -- otherwise scientifically known as rosa hemato -- are an extinct genus of flower from the rosaceae family that disappeared from the mortal plane in the late 1600s due to over-foraging from settlers during the Witch Trials. Prior to their extinction, they were already a rare breed of rose because of an evolutionary trait resulting in their main source of energy being ambient ectoplasm.
This means that blood blossoms only grow in areas where there are unusual levels of ectoplasm present. Regardless, however, only one or two bushes of blood blossoms can grow, as too many of them results in the ectoplasm being sucked out with no room of replenishing back to its original levels. This kills the blood blossoms in return. So a balance has to be met.
Blood blossoms have a mildly unsettling appearance. Their namesake, "blood blossom", comes from the blood red appearance of their petals, which start out as a vibrant red but steadily grows darker with age similar to blood drying on a page. Their stems, leaves, and thorns are, rather than green, a rich black-purple color. The center where the pistil sits is the typical yellow, however, it takes on the appearance of a yellow eye peering through the petals.
Blood blossoms emit a sweet, fragrant scent that allows them to not only attract bees, but also break down ectoplasm for consumption. See, what it does is that it discharges some of its pollen into the air, which then "latches on" to ecto. As the pollen begins to float down to the ground, the ectoplasm then sinks into the soil for the blood blossom to then draw into its roots. It gives the ectoplasm a physical body to latch onto, which it then uses to consume it.
Despite having a symbiotic relationship with ambient ectoplasm in it's natural habitat, the interactions it has with ghosts is an entirely different story. To ghosts, Blood Blossoms are terrifying, opportunistic parasitoids capable of consuming spirits whole if given the chance. Ghosts give off significantly more ectoplasm and when the blood blossoms sense that, they emit more pollen in order to consume it. Which is where the whole "blood blossoms are natural ghost shields" thing comes from.
Their sweet scents and vibrant colors made them popular upon discovery for perfumes and dyes, and when eaten taste sweet and slightly bitter, almost irony. Which is another reason for their namesake. During the Salem Witch Trials it was theorized that blood blossoms could expel the sins/demons from someone's body when consumed and prevent possession, or when surrounded by the roses, would trap the demons inside it's host body which would then be burned to banish it back to Hell along with the soul of it's host.
Which made them incredibly popular in executions, exorcisms, and Mass.
They could grow anywhere in the world so long as there was an adequate amount of ecto present.
Surprisingly enough, they do not commonly grow in or around gravesites due to a competitor flower nicknamed "rest in peace lilies" which, despite their name, are actually from the asparagaceae family and have more in common with bluebells. They're more modernly known as everlast bells. Ghosts prefer them over blood blossoms because they have a similar effect on ghosts as poppies do on the living where it sends them into a restful slumber. Hence their nickname "rest in peace lilies". The dead loove them.
In the Ghost Zone, their effects on the dead are far more potent than when they grew in the living realm due to the excessive amount of ectoplasm. They also grow much faster, so ghosts treat their appearances on islands similar to how one treats mint or kudzhu after finding it growing in their lawn: with extreme prejudice. And a lot of terror. Ghosts tend to rip them out when the flowers are not in bloom, or burn them when they are.
Their appearances in the Zone aren't much different than what they looked like in the living realm, with only a few mild changes like their thorns being sharper, their petals being more angular, and their eye-like center actually looking more like an eye. It's theorized that the Infinite Realm versions of blood blossoms gained very mild sentience, just enough that it almost feels like their eyes follow you when you pass by them, like a painting. Nobody is willing to test that theory.
To a ghost, getting caught in the hooks of a blood blossom means a slow, agonizing death akin to thousands of needle-sized mouths eating you all at once. The pollen doesn't stop until the ectoplasm is all broken down. Blood blossoms in the Ghost Zone are very much capable of eradicating a ghost entirely, core and all, with no chance of return. No passing go, no reconstruction, just complete oblivion.
Danny, prior to his poisoning, had severe allergic reactions when in physical contact with blood blossom in his human form. Rashes, blistering, hives wherever the blossom had physical contact with, inflammation, you name it. Luckily that hadn't been something he needed to worry about since they're, well, extinct.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#danny phantom#blood blossoms#blood blossom au#dpxdc au#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc#There is a way to synthetically regrow blood blossoms in the mortal realm. it just takes a little ectoplasm. some roses. and a lot of time#and patience#you can't stop starry from worldbuilding he's just gonna do it when you're not looking. its so fun <333 the blossoms having eye centers was#unintentional when i was drawing them. but it looked too good for me to get rid of. so!! creepy eye flowers :)#allies Vlad may have had in the ghost zone immediately jump ship when they caught wind of what he did to Danny. that's certified fucking#crazy right there and there's no way they're sticking around a dude who'd willingly destroy another ghost#vlad used the blood blossoms from the ghost zone to make the toxin so it was far more potent than it would have been if it was the original#mortal flower. fuck this dude#the thorns themselves aren't dangerous to ghosts but the pollen and blooms are so if they're not in bloom its safer to go near them.#specialized ghost equipment however is still required and advised for dealing with blossom infestation
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redraw of my underswap designs (only for the skeletons right now.. i have others i have not posted)
#my art#clip studio paint#undertale au#underswap#underswap sans#underswap papyrus#i wantyed to make sans based off of a nutcracker but then snowdin would swap too#so if its not christmasy anymore why would he be a nutcracker? his enviorment..#but i may do that anyway? im INDESICIVE.#papyrus is perfect the way he is right now#he doesnt get off that skateboard he doesnt take a step off it#hes good at tricks#how does the skateboard move if he doesnt step on the ground?#um.#anyways hes a certified COOL DUDE he got the license and everythin
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My FBI agent when I go in for a sixth round of the devil went down to Georgia:
#cant help it#its a certified banger#the devil went down to georgia#granny does your dog bite no child no#charlie daniels band#i done told you you son of a bitch#im the best theres ever been#CMON DUDE ITS SO GOOD
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movies to sweat to bc it made you sob uncontrollably while ur hormones were imbalanced
#clint eastwood#meryl streep#the bridges of madison county#lord huron#the night we met lord huron#edit#dude this movie broke me down when i watched it in november like i seriously could not stop crying for like an hour#so you know i had to edit it to the song that makes me cry just as much#idk how good this is but ermmm in my defense my computer kinda sucks with my editing program so i should be absolved of everything#certified newmans own
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so many beautiful women in this world not getting their pussy ate this is so sad
#that trend on tiktok.......goodness me#aristotle.txt#'some people just dont like it' but a lot of people feel SHAME about it thats DUMB#im a certified munch. pussy eater supreme. its baffling to me so many dudes dont like it im sorry#u should be able to recieve pleasure and not perform like man
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this thing i do when i have not consume anything about a media but this guy who makes art about that media is really good and im gonna follow them. And also its probably because of the sunglas- [I AM SHOT DEAD]
#.this tumblr user is having a certified category 7 insanity#I should never have watchh that old first media i consume. Strangling my 10 years old self WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME#Even if that fandom is the first introduction to gay people young me have seen and normalize gay people so much for me#Fandom did lots for me tbh its good for my 10 yrs old self. Despite that fandom havibg a bad rap#It actually didnt do what people accuse it of doing at all it did not do it to me at least#I was young and all i care about was how stupodly funny it was and holy god good animatics#I LITERALLY DONT CARE ABOUT THAT BAD PART i literally dont even know it exists until later on in my second relaspe#But like i only consume it on youtube when i first interacted with it i dont have social media at that time#And due to it i have been pointed in a VERY good direction#Thank god i didnt become brainwashed by a random evil channel as a kid on unfiltered youtube#And was instead too busy watching gay dudes kissing#Thank GOD for that fandom it did a lot of good for me. BUT IT NOW FUCKED ME OVER SO BADD ALSSOOOOO#I dont know if i ever will admitwhat it is except to a few close people#But i will forever curse out the main guy FOR INFLICTING ME WITH INSANITY WITH SUNGLASSES FIGUREEEE FUCKK YOUUUUUUU#And the dude hes shipped wwith DAWGGG FUCK YOUU TOOO FOR AFFECTIBG ME WITH YOU DISEASE TOO#Except the second guy? You gotta be really specific to get the dude right. And its rare to find a character similar to him that i actually-#-like! Its a whole weird thing with a second dude. I have conflicting feelings about him#But basically the first dude impact on me is much more obvious (see: sunglasses) but yeah the second guy did numbers on me too#TL;DR: WHATEVER! IM GOING INSANE! ^_^
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Fuuuuck now i wanna watch little shop of horrors
I camt believe it took me so long to watch it
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🌚
#welp#im finalizing my work divorce tonight#final date of leave is gonna be the 26th#then im giving myself a week of rest and recoup#before jumping into my new job#today was a hard day and it just further made me feel good about my choices#and im looking forward to this new gig#cause theyre gonna help me get certified as a counselor already#it'll be good i think#if not i can fuck off and go find another job 😂#anyway im going through a divorce#its messy#thats why i havent been writing a lot#will be doing more soon#got outlines and other stuff done#thank you for the drabble requests#ill work on them when my brain isn't fried#if someone can yeet an ardyn one at me too#and a heisenberg one ill kiss you full on the mouth#love you dudes#fuck work#should clarify work divorce#not an actual divorce
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omg laswell has a wife.... good for her, hope she stops smoking
#ive just started playing the cod mw2 campaign#random voicelines are cool#sniper mission wish gaz and price is pretty fun!#it just takes 10000 years to get into position to take out 2 dudes with 1 bullet sometimes lmao#gaz is certified badass#price telling u what to do (for gameplay reasons ofc) is so funny he's like a grumpy dad#meanwhile while playing soap#ghost is like you foockin idiot sargent get yo ass over here#it could also be that i have no idea whats going on in this game half the time#but the graphics are so seamless and beautiful#but whoever designed the menus deserves a throat punch like wtf is that hot garbage 144p main menu design holy shit#and whatever stupid prick decided that itd be a good idea to have to restart your game to play the campaign?? idiot x100#bro the campaign is all i care about#if i wanna play a pvp shooter and get called brand new slurs ill play siege thanks
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ty for contributing to the wasteland that is appreciating bruce as a parent and first child danny🙏🙏🙏
It’s a battle out here soldier but I am strong, like winter bear. Also I relate so hard to Bruce in a lot of ways and I think his initial concept is really neat. He tries his damn hardest, and he has so much hope for his city that it’s really admirable.
And as much fun as it is to poke fun at him for his questionable parenting and hypocrisy, there’s always the line of too much that the fandom tends to cross quite often, just as much as they do with the clone and ghost king stuff. Bruce is just as much of a good parent (or at least a trying one) as he is a bad one, and people tend to ignore his good qualities for the sake of a joke. His character is centered around the fact that he cares, he’s just truly shit at communicating it — which, cheers bro, I’ll drink to that.
And there’s already a ton of batfam prompts and aus out there where Danny shows up when the whole colony is already adopted, which means most of the attention goes to Danny bonding with the other siblings and having very little to do with Bruce. He’s kinda just. There. Whether that be as a prop or an antagonist or someone to point and laugh at. Which, I can’t blame people too much for — the cast is so big it’s hard to keep track of relationships and stuff.
However, I think it’s important for Danny to have some form of relationship with Bruce too and not them just be strangers, especially in a familial/platonic setting where Danny is joining the family.
They share a handful of qualities that I think would mesh well together — Danny’s canonically a pessimist while Bruce is a diehard optimist (you kinda have to be to be a hero in a place like Gotham, and he wouldn’t be Batman if he wasn’t) and they both believe in giving people second chances and have wells of compassion to tap into. Danny’s clever and resourceful, and one of his main character traits is that he’s got an iron will.
All in all, good dad bruce go brrrrr and oldest son danny is the perfect, underutilized concept to explore exactly that without distractions. I think they could get along like a house on fire, if given the opportunity.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#starry asks#blood blossom au#nightingale au#tales of the passerine#i didnt include Danny’s puns bc. well. duh that trait is obvious you dont need me to point it out lmao#blood blossom will ultimately focus on Danny and Bruce’s relationship and not the vigilantism#danny actually isnt planned to join the field for a while for non-health related reasons#but you can find me explaining why in one of my reblogs on the og post#this ask got away from me but when does it never do that#i am a certified yapper#anyways you’ll notice in my other aus too that i dont make a habit of bashing or making fun of bruce#most of the danny’s in my aus have a posi-neutral opinion of him inCLUDING cfau danny#clone danny and stillborn danyal are outliers but even then their negative opinions aren’t because of anything bruce has done and stillborn#is really the only one who could develop a bad opinion. clone danny is just scared of him finding out that he exists but otherwise holds#bruce in a posi-neutral light. he recognises the good he does for his city he’s just scared shitless of the dude finding out that he was#cloned. especially since danny was a victim of cloning himself and knows how violating it feels#stillborn danyal’s opinion weighs firmly on who finds out about who first. he only hates bruce if he finds out first bc his shit esteem#easily convinces him that bruce willingly gave him up and replaced him with Damian. he’ll eventually forgive and let go of that anger when#bruce tells him that he was told danny was stillborn and didn’t know he was alive.#everyone has a batfam member they latch onto and unfortunately for me mine is the og bitch himself Bruce Wayne
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I think that its more accurate to say that "dude" isn't gender neutral, but that many people say "dude" in ways that are not addressing their listener.
Like. If I'm talking to anyone of any gender, and I say "oh boy, do I have some good news for you!", the phrase "oh boy" is mostly an exclamation, and is not intended to describe the person I'm talking to. No one would claim "boy" is gender neutral. A lot of phrases can slide into the same category as "oh boy" and its various cousins (notable cousin: aw man), and its an area of language that's likely to vary quite extremely from person to person, as its a slot just ripe for sticking any ol' slang term in that a person feels like.
This is why so many people are vehemently arguing that their use of "dude" is gender neutral despite the fact that 99% of these people (90's surfers from CA and Good Burger Employees excluded) would never describe someone as "a dude" unless they thought the person was a man, and also why so many people are vehemently arguing that "dude" can't be gender neutral despite the fact that some of these people probably say some variation of "oh boy" or even "you guys".
And yes, either way, the whole argument is a nitpick at best (and pointedly bigoted at worst) when the central question is "would you be willing to avoid some language in certain contexts if you found out it was making someone feel bad, or would you Um Actually them to avoid feeling like the bad guy". Keep those arguments to linguistics-specific forums and bring your manners and respect when speaking to people in general.
i just don’t think “is dude gender neutral” is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. i call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but i don’t think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms.
the real question is just “would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?” the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic
#the comedy of ending this post on the phrase 'bad guy' is not lost on me#but yeah as a Certified Californian with a degree in linguistics its always bothered me the way this conversation goes#sure you can sing 'im a dude hes a dude shes a dude cuz we're all dudes'#but as much as I and those around me say 'dude' at all times in any situation with any interlocutors#none of them are forms of address OR descriptions without being gendered#the people who say its gender neutral aren't purposefully lying but they are Being Wrong#and some of them are still wrong-in-good-faith if theyre willing to go 'ok i think its gender neutral but I wont use it in these ways#to avoid being hurtful'#but its not in good faith if you're not willing to do that. you see. language is about communication#and thus language is about not JUST your meaning but how you are understood#so if someone tells you that no matter your intent#that a specific word will come with a given baggage#you just have to take that information and decide if you will continue to throw baggage at them#or if you will choose kindly instead#linguistics
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park sunghoon — THE PUSSY EATING COMPETITION!
P. munch!sunghoon x fem!reader (17+) | W. pussy eating (obv), squirting, oral, unprotected sex, cursing, multiple orgasms, munches jakehoon + munchwon , freakseung, subspace, biting, other shit i forgot | WC. 5.7k !! | A,N. this one’s for my babychels ! @ak4e7a ♡ … would anyone like a drabble about heeseung’s experience?
in which… jake convinces sunghoon to join a pussy eating competition with a bet !
“you want me to join the what?” sunghoon questioned, his thick eyebrows furrowed, plump lips parted in confusion.
“the pussy eating competition, bro!” jake rolled his eyes as he repeated his sentence for the third time already. reaching over to flick a concerned looking sunghoon’s forehead.
“and why the fuck would i join whatever the fuck that is?” he smacked jake’s hand away when the stinging pain rushed in his head. cursing jake more under his breath. “why the fuck not?” he huffed, “heeseung was at it yesterday, he won his stupid bet with jay.”
“they had a bet?” sunghoon closed his laptop, deciding that whatever notes he was about to take from their lecture can wait until he figures out if jake is being serious or not. “yeah, dude. jay bet heeseung fifty bucks if he could make his girl squirt three times in ten minutes.” jake chuckled at the memory.
“and heeseung won?” sunghoon questioned, eyebrows raised in anticipation this time as jake’s smile only widened. “won the bet in eight minutes and twenty six seconds.” he laughed, sunghoon wasn’t surprised or shocked in any way. he was surprised at jay’s idiocy of choosing ‘ten minutes’ when all heeseung has been doing since he got laid was boast about his squirting ability in their group chat.
and heeseung called himself ‘the pussy squirting fairy’ way too often for their liking.
and besides who even came up with this stupid competition in the first place? who even agreed to any of this? why did heeseung and jay join? and why the fuck was jake asking him to join too?
“listen bro it’s nothing serious— you go to the pussy eating competition center and ask to join in for a competition with someone— in that case that will be me, and then we’ll get to eat some fire pussy out for free so it’s really just a huge win situation.” jake rambled, balancing between his two feet as he continued to convince sunghoon to join in with him.
“we could even place a bet like hyung and jay did! ten minutes for three squirts is a good deal you know? it’s just that heeseung is a fucking frea—“ jake’s voice slowly got tuned out of sunghoon’s ear as he thought about this more.
considering all the possibilities of this competition that still sounded pretty unreal to him, was this a stupid idea? yes. should he trust jake? no. did he not believe this idea because it sounded like a dream? yes. was the last time that sunghoon got offered pussy around three months ago? unfortunately, yes. did he currently feel like a loser teenage boy with his pants tightening at the thought of eating pussy? … also yes.
but was this an opportunity for him to live up to his ‘certified munch hoon’ title though? yes. and was sunghoon going to take it? fuck yes.
“you could also tap out at any minute—“ “where can i apply?” sunghoon interrupted jake’s irritating speech. “it’s not tha— huh?” his eyes widened in surprised, “you want to join?” he tilted his head to the side in a puppy like manner, a twinkle of excitement in his gaze. “you said you were going to join too, right?” sunghoon eyed him warily, a wave of relief washing down on him when jake nodded with enthusiasm.
“you also said we could place bets, yeah?” he questioned, “yes! like the ten minutes for three squirts hyung mad—“ “make it five.” jake gaped at him, blinking his eyes in surprise. “what?”
his hand came up to rest on sunghoon’s shoulder as he tried to process his words, “five minutes?” his gaze became conflicted as the younger nodded, “five minutes for three?” jake tried to understand him more, really trying his best.
“five minutes for five squirts.” jake gulped.
“for a hundered bucks.”
well fuck.
sunghoon was on a mission.
wearing a white, sleeveless shirt along with jeans to make his movements easier, the shirt given to him by jake in order to ‘tell apart who got the more squirts’ according to the wetness that coated the white fabric.
he was now standing in line with jake, the shorter one walking with a slight bounce in his step from his excitement. “are you ready?” he whispered, eyes travelling all over the place where the competition was held.
countless other contestants from both genders aligned in the waiting line, each pair waiting their own turn, some going neck to neck with other friends and placing bets while others threw snarky glances at each other.
truly a competition for some.
“do we atleast get to pick who we get to eat out?” the taller sighed, his ebony locks sticking further to his temples due to his sweat, it was either unreasonably hot or sunghoon was weirdly nervous.
probably unreasonably hot. it was mid july after all.
“i don’t think so.. i didn’t ask hyung—“ “obviously no.” a foreign voice cut off jake, making the two turn around to greet another guy. that was also wearing a white shirt.
“it’s a competition. you don’t get to choose who you get to eat out.” he rolled his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing. god what an obnoxious attitude.
sunghoon rolled his eyes, “pipe the fuck down, jungwon. we get it you practically live here.” jake snapped back. running his fingers through his hair while he turned around. he looked unusually restless for sunghoon’s liking.
i mean, there was a whole hundred dollar bill on the table for this bet.
“park sunghoon and sim jaeyun! you’re up next.” the same guy who jotted down their names in his board, who sunghoon assumed was the manager— called both of their names up to the front.
where sunghoon wasn’t prepared to have his breath knocked out of his lungs so quickly.
as he and jake stepped up the smal staircase leading to the mini stage where two chairs were situated, there sat two girls. very very pretty girls. dreamlike pretty girls. one hundred percent sunghoon’s type. really really pretty gir—
“stop fucking staring like a creep.” jake elbowed him when he realised that sunghoon was basically two seconds away from drooling at the sight of you. sunghoon covered his awkward staring with a strained cough. lowering his head and unknowingly bringing attention to his reddening ears.
which at the sight of, you chuckled.
and sunghoon’s knees almost buckled.
“take your respective positions and be prepared.” the manager, who sunghoon caught a brief glance at the name tag of— mark. ordered them around. sunghoon stepped closer towards you. who stared at him with the most alluring glint in your eyes. you were wearing a pink top with pink lace panties that were covered by a feather light towel. don’t ask how he noticed them.
“hi.. i’m sunghoon.” he spoke awkwardly, extending out his hand towards yours. finding his demeanour adorable, you quickly shook his hand. a smile gracing your features as you introduced yourself to him.
three months shouldn’t be that much time since he got with a girl but it felt like it was centuries ago. especially with the way his heart began to thump thump thump! between his ribs weirdly.
he spared a swift glance to jake, just in time to catch him throwing a flirtatious wink towards his own girl. goodness that dude was a freak himself.
“spare the introductions and get into your positions, what was your bet again?” mark quickly muttered, glancing at the paper in his hand and back at jake and sunghoon. pushing his glasses above the bridge of his nose.
“a hundred bucks.” jake spoke, puffing out his chest in anxiety, “and that’s for ten minutes right? three orgasms in ten?” mark nodded as he wrote down the timing on his paper.
“no actually… it’s five minutes.” jake bit his lips, sunghoon shook his head in slight disbelief and embarrassment at the current situation they were in right now. totally ignoring the fact that there were two drop dead gorgeous girls whispering and giggling right behind them both.
“five minutes for three?” mark questioned, his eyebrows raising in surprise that increased when sunghoon quickly shook his head in denial, “five minutes for five.” mark blinked.
a slight echoing line of ooo’s made their way into jake and sunghoon’s reddened ears, embarrassment crawling up their backs as mark awkwardly cleared his throat and nodded to their words. quickly changing the numbers on the timer and scribbling a few other random sentences on his board.
“we’ll shortly start the timer and the competition will begin.” he stepped back allowing the two to inch back towards the girls, jake spared a quick glance at mark who was now holding onto the alarm clock between his fingers before lowering down to his knees in front of the chair.
sunghoon swiftly followed suit, dropping onto his knees and lifting his head right between your legs to welcome the heavenly view. gosh you looked divine.
“five for five, hm?” you cheekily smiled at him, a sight that made the boy’s heart throb with the sudden need to always make you smile. he nodded shyly, his slightly wavy locks ruffling in his hair in a fluffy manner at the motion. “better not disappoint.” you then discarded the towel to the ground.
“oh i for sure won’t.” sunghoon smirked, a wave of confidence descending on him at the sight of your soaked cunt so close to his face, he could practically taste your leaking essence from the side of your panties.
“on your marks..” the young manager called out, sunghoon skilfully pulled apart your plush thighs, placing your legs on top of his shoulders as jake did the same besides him. you quickly laid back towards the table behind you on your elbows, giving sunghoon full access to anything and everything.
“get set..” mark called out, eyes glued on the button that will start the timer while sunghoon pushed the tip of his nose against your slit, the contact making you hum in delight as his tip pressed against your throbbing clit while your essence soaked through the thin fabric and onto his skin.
he poked his tongue out just slightly, brushing against your sopping hole restricted by the lace fabric that began to slightly irritate him, and sunghoon was gone.
pineapples. cotton candy. cranberries. straight sugar. you tasted otherworldly. it was not surprising that you would taste delicious as you probably do take care of yourself to the best of your ability because of this competition, but for you to taste this dizzying? to have an essence and nectar that melted against his tastebuds like honey?
sunghoon was gone.
“go!” and just like that, sunghoon’s brain was replaced by a horny puddle of mush inside of his skull. unaware of the fact that he pushed and teared your panties to the side, aiming to lick a long, tantalising stripe starting from your hole till he reached your clit where he applied pressure.
the action made your hand shoot towards his head, gripping a handful of his soft hair in your hands as his tongue circled and pushed against your sensitive nub, his large fingers pried your thighs apart when they began to push against him. normally, sunghoon wouldn’t mind getting suffocated by plush and soft thighs like this. yet today, he couldn’t lose a hundered dollar bill against jake. out of all people.
and fucking jake was going at it next to him. making all sorts of wet noises that had his girl throwing her head back in pleasure. while the timer struck twenty five seconds.
fuck, he only had thirty five seconds left for the first minute.
that’s when sunghoon decided to let go of all of his restraints, allowing all the walls he kept to crumble right apart when he pushed your legs around his head, one hand holding your leg to keep your pressed against him as you needed the extra support while the other pushed his middle and ring finger deep inside of you.
a squeal left your mouth when sunghoon attached his plump lips around your clit. sucking and slurping so loudly, obscene noises followed by your moans and the ticking of the timer barely made their way past sunghoon’s ringing ears. he was completely out of it.
he thrusted his finger in and out. quickly in and out. too busy closing his eyes to savour your flavour on his tongue to take notice of the multiple webs of wetness that connected his knuckles and your entrance. his fingers reached so deep, they were so long and the perfect size to cause the most delicious burn in your walls as he stretched them open.
right when the timer hit forty seconds, sunghoon’s fingertip brushed against your sweet spot.
you mewled his name, back arching off of the table as he hummed in delight at the realisation, “found it, didn’t i? it’s right. here.” he accentuated every word with another thrust against the spot that had you seeing stars. you nodded mindlessly as the knot in your abdomen curled on itself the longer sunghoon abused your cunt.
“f-fuck yes! right there, baby. right there.” you encouraged him, moans increasing in volume the harsher sunghoon sucked around your clit, his fingers became even more restless after the sudden petname. baby. that’s right, he was your baby. the only one that will please you from now on.
“yeah, pretty girl? feels good doesn’t it?” sunghoon spoke against your clit, each word sending a vibration right against your spine as pleasure raked through your body in rough waves. it suddenly felt like you were the only two in the world. your surroundings melting in an instant as you gasped his name and praised him for making you feel so good. so ecstatic.
fifty seconds in, and that’s when the coil in your abdomen suddenly snapped.
your climax washed over you out of nowhere, such an intense and speedy build up that you weren’t even able to process anything till you started to shake under sunghoon’s hold. your wetness was dripping down his forearm as he fucked you through your orgasm, each thrust of his finger made your squirt land over his shirt.
first sixty seconds was a complete and easy success.
“first minute is done! one point for sunghoon, and one point for jaeyun.” mark called out. shit, so that fucker also managed to keep up with him then?
he still had four minutes to redeem himself. with the way he was able to easily make you squirt from the first fifty seconds he felt like he knew your body inside out. knew exactly which buttons to push and what nerve to pull to coax out another orgasm out of you. there was no way he was losing.
“minute two starting now!” mark’s voice reached sunghoon’s ears in a muffled manner as he pressed your twitching legs closer to his shoulders, this time sunghoon pushed his long tongue inside of your gushing hole. a lustful glint in his eyes as he reached his slender fingers towards your clit.
rubbing slow, torturous but powerful circles on your aching nub while he licked all over your walls, slurping against your wetness that leaked down his chin and made its way down his neck, fuck he was so addicted to your flavour.
your moans became weaker as your body tried to calm down from your previous orgasm, such a mind blowing climax washing down on your body so suddenly made your head spin. and sunghoon was already overstimulating you as he worked towards another orgasm. fuck. you, yourself were done for under him.
he felt so good. so skilled as he satisfied and pleasured you in ways you’ve never felt before. his strong, muscular arms keeping your legs open as he buried his face so mindlessly between them, diving into your wetness with no other care in the world as if he was born to do this.
he lived to devour pussy. truly suitable for a competition like this.
“gonna give me another one hm?” twenty nine seconds.
“think you can handle another one, babydoll?” he taunted, barely pulling out his tongue to speak before burying it back inside of you, his fingers never halting to a stop as they began to pinch and pull at your clit. the familiar tightening in your lower stomach made your mind reel while your silence began to frustrate sunghoon.
that’s when he landed a harsh slap against your clit. the sudden pain and pleasure making you jolt under his hold as you nearly screamed out his name. “y-yes, yes i can! please, i’ll give you as many as you want!” you cried out, your broken begs rushing directly into his aching cock in the confines of his jeans. exactly what he needed to hear.
“what a good fucking girl, hm? such a good girl for me, aren’t ya?” he mocked, hand resorting back to circling on your clit as he buried himself in your folds, his nose brushed up against his fingers while he thrusted his tongue in and out of you stimulating you in the best ways possible.
thirty seven seconds was all it took for sunghoon to make you squirt on him for the second time. in the span of a minute and a half.
he slapped against your leaking hole while you convulsed beneath him, each slap getting his shirt wetter which signalled mark to announce “minute two half way done, two points for sunghoon and one for jaeyun!”
jake’s noise of surprised went unnoticed by sunghoon, almost half way in. he thought to himself as he lifted your limp legs off of his shoulders and balanced himself on his knees again.
he pressed your legs together, making your swollen, glistening folds puff up one each other while your nectar slipped out of your hole in heavy, clear droplets. sunghoon wanted to do nothing more than to slurp it all up.
without wasting anymore time, he pushed his mouth against your cunt, kissing up against your folds as the timer showcased fifty seconds, as cocky as this might sound but he already knew he won. especially when he inhaled your scent deeply and pushed his nose and mouth onto your entrance again. successful in making you scream his name this time.
he held your shaking legs up with one hand, grip strong and tight as he relished in your flavour running down his throat. so addicted as he ate you out like a drunk man. completely high on your pussy. he sucked and licked and kissed everywhere so noisily.
sucking up your swollen and sensitive folds into his mouth, coating every inch of your skin in his saliva that combined with your own wetness before returning to slurp around your clit. his mind was reeling. becoming a mushy piece of muscle in his head as the only thought that drove him to continue was to make you squirt again.
“minute three starting now, with two points to sunghoon and two points to jaeyun. yet another tie!” fuck, jake was catching up.
but sunghoon for some reason was starting to not mind.. call it the euphoria of getting high off of pussy or anything else. he no longer wanted to do this to beat jake and win a hundred dollars. he wanted to do this because it felt good. you felt good.
and just like that, he began to indulge himself in your cunt entirely. surrendering and making his rational side disappear as he hummed and moaned at your taste. shaking his head from side to side as he slurped you up so well. drooling your essence further down his chin as he pleasured you because it was his own pleasure.
each moan of his sent shocks around you body. your surroundings blurring as the air around you became electrified. goosebumps aligning your skin when you felt another climax building up gradually in your abdomen. the longer he spent humming around your clit and buzzing up your whole body the further you felt your consciousness slipping away from your fingertips.
guess you couldn’t really handle it after all.
it was at three minutes and fifteen seconds when sunghoon made you squirt for the third time.
your hands shot to grip onto the chair that was by now shaking with your body, hot white ecstasy blinding your vision as your climax washed down on your body in violent waves one after the other. and sunghoon just kept going. noisily slurping up everything you offered. he was being so embarrassingly loud as he kept rubbing his face into your cunt, getting your wetness all over his face and jaw. overstimulating you more with each passing second while your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
“three minutes and twenty seconds in! three points for sunghoon and two for jake!” mark announced, his voice becoming unusually strained as the sight of the two men on their knees doing their best to pleasure their girls was starting to get to him.
it was his least favourite part of his job when he started to feel a tightening in his pants.
“so good for me, doll. we only need two more, come on. you can give it to me right?” you nodded with your head spinning. a dizzying sense of pleasure raking through your veins. sunghoon settled down for gentle bites across your thighs, giving you a few moments to cool down as he looked up.
big mistake.
the sight of you had one of his hands shooting down towards his raging boner that began uncontrollably twitching between his boxers. your pretty pink tank top ridden up revealing the underside of the plush skin of your breasts, a sheen layer of sweat coating your body as you breathed in deeply to calm your heart down when it felt like it was seconds away from bursting.
your fucked out expression is what did it for him. eyes hazed and high off pleasure. drunk on the feeling of his plump lips on your swollen cunt that tightened around nothing. sunghoon was so fucked.
“so needy for me isn’t she..?” he whispered only for you to hear, fascinated in the way your gaping hole winked at him. spilling out more of your sweet nectar that became sunghoon’s favourite drug in the matter of a few minutes. you grew flustered at his words, lifting your arm up t cover your eyes while sunghoon blew on your pussy teasingly.
discarding the competition and the fact that there were people around him, sunghoon quickly lifted himself up, leaning his body forward above yours as he began to hover on top of you. your breath hitched at the close proximity while sunghoon smiled adorably, showcasing you his pretty fangs that were sinking down your thighs just a few seconds ago.
“ready to give me another one, little girl?” he whispered. so so close to your face that his wet lips that were covered in your essence brushed against yours with every word. you nodded shyly, slowly getting fucked into subspace as your mind began to shut down. eyes blinking slowly while sunghoon pushed his long fingers back inside of you. gosh you were so cute.
three minutes and thirty two seconds in, and you were gripping onto sunghoon’s bicep that pushed his fingers inside of you deeper.
you were mewling and whimpering his name so prettily. so perfect and delicate under him. under his control allowing him to do anything with your body and it was driving him crazy. he couldn’t hold himself back when he finally pushed his lips against yours.
you moaned so endearingly under him. kissing him back so eagerly as his fingertip massaged your sweet spot making you bite gently on his lower lip. he groaned into your mouth as he fucked his fingers quicker. hitting all your spots with each thrust and making you see stars while he sucked on the tip of your tongue.
he didn’t care that he could be breaking rules right now. did not give a singular flying fuck that mark could be looking around confused wondering if this was accepted. and certainly did not even mind when jake scored his third point. all he wanted and needed right now was for you to cum for him as many times as possible. he needed to feel you tightening as your euphoria made you fall apart in his hold. it was a pleasure that he got addicted to.
“you close baby? feeling good hm?” he didn’t even need you to respond to him. not when your cunt was doing all the talking by clenching and drooling down his wrist. sucking in three of his fingers in so deeply he could only imagine how incredible you would feel around his cock, but in reality he shouldn’t imagine that right now. not when his dick was about to practically rip apart his boxers.
“s’close hoon.. so so close!” you blabbered, brain completely shutting down as you couldn’t tell apart your orgasm and overstimulation anymore. all you could feel and process was the unbelievable amount of pure ecstatic pleasure rushing throughout your whole body so wonderfully that it had you digging your nails into his back. your legs going numb under you as your knot tightened and tightened for the fourth time. almost done.
“come on, babydoll. cum for me like the good girl that you are.” he whispered against your neck and that was enough for you to squirt around his fingers again. he kept fucking into you, riding out your orgasm as your throat was no longer able to produce any noises, only soft whispers of pleads reaching sunghoon’s ear as he scored his fourth point easily.
he kissed along your jawline when he stilled his fingers inside of you, “please what, pretty girl?” he asked, already having a fleeting wild thought in his head that he discarded because he might actually lose his sanit— “i need your cock please. please for the last one, please fuck me.” holy fuck.
“three minutes and fifty six seconds in! four points for sunghoon and three for jaey— why are you taking your pants o?—“ mark’s voice became unreasonably loud towards the end but sunghoon was on a mission.
five squirts is five squirts. a hundred dollar bill is a hundred dollar bill. he’s not about to lose any of this because he didn’t push his cock into a pretty little hole like yours. no he was about to make his win a double win.
sunghoon pushed down both his jeans and boxers down in one go, his leaking cock springing out the tight pieces of fabric with multiple lines of precum dribbling down to his balls, thick mushroom tip that’s a fiery red throbbing in need and desire while your swollen hole gaped at him.
yeah he was gonna lose if he didn’t fuck you for sure.
“you ready, doll?” he asked as if he hadn’t spent the past few minutes stretching you out so nicely. you nodded so eagerly at his words. mouth watering at the sight of his veiny, thick cock pulsating so deliciously in front of you. he was so big. such a perfect size for stretching you out more.
he pushed the head of his cock in and god was he huge. you gasped around his lips when he gave you a few seconds to adjust before pushing his entire length in, bottoming out quicker than anticipated, but sunghoon didn’t care.
he couldn’t care less about the fact that he was fucking you in front of random people right now. why should he care when he knew he was going to bring you home by the end of the day and slither his way into your life after this? in fact, people should be glad because this will be the last time you’ll be seen here.
because he’s planning on having you in strawberry pink lingeries between his silky satin sheets for the rest of his life.
so technically, everyone should be glad they’re getting a show of you both right now. because it’ll be the last one.
“so deep hoon.. so fuckin’ deep..” you mewled, eyes shutting in pleasure when he slightly pulled out, barely by an inch before he thrusted back in. he felt the way your warm walls pulsed around his cock needily. sucking him back in with each movement as if they were not allowing him to pull out at all. so needy and so desperate to have something, anything to plug up your slutty hole.
“feeling good, pretty girl?” he asked, lowering his hand to press on the evident bulge that appeared on your lower stomach. the feeling made the two of you groan in pleasure, sunghoon was fleeting through cloud nine. he couldn’t believe how he went on with his life for so many years without spending each passing inside your cunt. so many time wasted when he could’ve been drunk on the heaven between your legs.
“s’good! so good, hoon.” gasping out the new petname that had his eyes rolling back, he glanced at the timer that was held by a flustered mark, palming his raging boner through his pants and noticed “four minutes and twenty nine seconds.” yeah the game was his. he won.
he switched his position, balancing himself back on his legs as he gripped your thighs, wrapping them around his waist while he sunk his cock in deeper. relishing in the sight of you throwing your head back when he penetrated you so good. the tip of his dick kissing against your cervix harshly. and just like that, he began to pound inside of you.
your unrestrained moans tumbled past your lips at his harsh thrusts. body being lit ablaze with mind numbing pleasure that enlivened every part of you. a different, never felt before kind of thrill rushed through your being. a fervent sensation that you’ve never experienced, one only brought to you by sunghoon as he continued to fuck you. determined on making you crumble completely around his cock.
and his wish was about to be granted with the way your abdomen began to tighten. exhaustion creeping up on you along with an almost scary build up of your climax. you were about to get knocked out with this one and you felt it.
“come on, angel. give me another one. the final one, i know you can do it, doll.” he encouraged, pressing his hand on his bulge that disappeared and appeared with every one of his thrusts, his large hand applying the perfect amount of pressure to have your head spin again. seconds away from cumming on his cock for the first time. his tip pressed and massaged all of your spots perfectly. “it’s right here, isn’t it? this is where you’re weak for me.” he chuckled.
you were slowly losing consciousness at this rate, body burning with euphoria that flashed through your limbs. “f-fuck i’m s’close! hoon— fuck!” you screamed his name as you felt your pleasure crashing down on you for the fifth time. walls tightening and clenching mercilessly making sunghoon hiss in pain while you squirted all over his abdomen.
the pressure from your orgasm made it hard for him to thrust back, but he continued. “and five points for sunghoon! at four minutes and fifty one seconds! park sunghoon is the winner of the pussy eating competition!” a new voice cheered from behind him, one that belonged to a taller manager that appeared since mark had to leave for a quick and ‘urgent’ bathroom break, making his best friend, johnny announce the winner.
but did the winner in question care right now? not really.
ignoring jake’s protests of disappointment and the sounds of his girl comforting him and finding him being upset adorable, also ignoring jake’s yells of shock and disbelief when he looked over and realised that sunghoon was currently balls deep inside of his girl. “i didn’t know you could literally fuck?!” he practically screamed at johnny as his girl tried to hold him back from jumping the taller guy.
yet all of this, went unnoticed by both you and sunghoon. who was now chasing his own pleasure inside of your divine pussy that kept trying to push him out while your back arched in his hold, pushing your chest against his as your body shook with complete overstimulation. he buried himself so deep inside of you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he hugged you when he pressed his tip against your cervix entirely before shooting his load inside of you.
both of you groaned in pleasure, sunghoon whimpering your name as his climax came down on him with intense ecstasy that coursed through his body. each nerve ending of his blazing with fire while his mind melted. you felt so unreal.
he finally came down from his high, allowing the two of you to catch your breaths as he was rooted still so deep inside of you. “you okay, doll?” he mumbled lowly only for you to hear, panting on your skin while you nodded tiredly, eyes clearly droopy and sleepy making him chuckle. finding all of your expressions so adorable.
“you did so good for me, little girl.” he kissed your lips, savouring the taste of you on his tongue and lips before he gently pulled away. pulling his softening length out and quickly fixing his clothing before grabbing your discarded towel to help clean you up. unaware of the fact that there was a looming, pissed jaeyun behind him like his shadow.
“what the fuck sunghoon!?” he suddenly yelled, making the two of you jump in surprise before you tiredly looked over and sunghoon angrily turned around. “the fuck are you yelling for?” he furrowed his eyebrows, seriously what was this dude thinking right now?
“you cheated!” he pointed his finger, eyes wide with the accusation as sunghoon only glanced at him one more time before returning to assist you. “didn’t he basically cheat?!” the shorter one turned around to face johnny who was too busy flirting with the next contestants, “yeah yeah you could do anything as long as you make the girl squirt, sim” he waved him off.
“why the fuck am i just knowing this?!”
at the end of the competition, sunghoon— as predicted won. he walked out of that place with not only an upset jaeyun and a hundred dollar bill, but also the love of his life.
a,note. thanks for reading !! (⺣◡⺣)♡
#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut#sunghoon smut#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon#enhypen#enha x reader#enha smut#enha hard thoughts#enha hard hours#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fanfic#enhypen sunghoon#enha scenarios#enha imagines#enhypen drabble#enhypen imagines#enhypen smut#park sunghoon hard hours#park sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon fic#park sunghoon scenarios#enha sunghoon#enhypen ff#enhypen x reader
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server i'm in just instated a rule break warning system that there was no mention of before, because i simped too hard and forgot that "for a man in his 40s ryan can get it" isn't something most people say
have to take it in stride and wear 'being the first to get warned in this server' as a badge of honour i suppose 🤷 at least they didn't ban me LMAO
#ryan's rants#not saying where cause iykyk but if you do know pls don't bitch to the mods that i'm posting abt this#i find it funny tho cause some motherfucker spat this whole wall of text at me#all about how it's weird to think of celebrities in a s*xu*l manner#and all this other shit#like dude they're adults in their 40s. i promise you it's not that weird to simp for them#like they will not be hurt by it. i promise you.#ryan molly and jasmin are gonna be fine even if some 16 year old kid thinks they can. and i quote myself. 'get it'#they only warned me recently as well. like as in its 5pm rn and that's when i got warned and not when it happened#this truly is a certified Mods Are Asleep moment LMFAOOOOO#good to know as well to hide the kinlist from them#if they get this bothered over saying a guy can get it#i'd hate to know what they would think about me being a ryan factkin 💀#it's even more obnoxious like i didn't wanna kin ryan it just sorta happened#as all kins do#went from 'oh he's kinda cool i wish i was him' to 'oh shit i feel like i do be him tho'#i'm not one of those kins who gets memories from the person they are or anything tho#there's just a sorta feeling that i should look this way act this way sound this way etc#like yknow? not at all the point of this post#but just a total side thing LMAO
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good luck - mv1
max verstappen x fem!reader smau
summary when max and y/n adopt a black cat and everyone thinks it’s bringing him bad luck, they are determined to prove them wrong
warnings none i think
fc various girls from pinterest
notes requested!💘 loved this so muchhajska (excuse my poor editing skills on this one lol)
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maxverstappen1 not having the season we expected, lots of work ahead.😑
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yourusername ❤️ liked by maxverstappen1
user male acting performance where he’s having the worst day of his life but looks so hot doing it:
user girlsnjasfkja😭
user i’m being so serious rn you HAVE to give that cat to someone else
user first dnf i laughed… second dnf i serioused
user dw i played the dutch anthem at home for you king🧡���
user IT’S OKAY POOKIE YOU ARE GONNA WIN ALL OTHER RACES😖😖😖
user not if he doesn’t get rid of that cat lol
maxverstappen1 just uploaded to their story!
[😍🐈⬛ @ yourusername] [when the cat steals your gf😑]
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yourusername certified dilf‼️
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maxverstappen1 the last pic??
yourusername gave me dad vibes idk
user so true
user what are the odds of max getting a black cat and immediately starting to get bad results
user ikr
user just a coincidence 🤷♀️
user one time thing is a coincidence, two dnfs in a row and then not being able to get a single win in many races… sounds like “black cat curse” to me sorry
user get rid of the cat if you want him to win the championship i’m BEGGING🙏🏻🙏🏻😫😫
user you guys are so ridiculous
user mocha with the max plush omgggggg i might die🥹🥹🥹🥹
user idc what anyone says he is gonna win the championship again and mocha will be forgiven you read it here first
user cat crazy lady + cat crazy dude = perfect match💘
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yourusername black cat bring good luck 😺 not bad luck 😾 so so proud of you maxie🧡
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maxverstappen1 my girls🫶🏻🥰
maxverstappen1 love you❤️
yourusername love you more dilf💘
user just unserious as fuck😭😭
user max calling the cat and yn “his girls” like mocha is his daughter or smth😭
user she is his daughter wdym
redbullracing what an adorable lucky charm😺🍀
yourusername you know it🫡
user queen 🙏🏻
user I KNOW WHO MY GOAT IS🐐🐐 (mocha)
user mocha redemption arc ohhh i’ve been waiting for this one
user FR I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU MOCHA😫
user THEY GOT MOCHA A PADDOCK PASS IM CRYINGGG
user always blessing us with the best max pictures thank u mother🥹
user please god i also want to raise a black kitty with my incredibly hot bf😔😔
user oh to be mocha…
user you don’t understand this lil family is EVERYTHING to me☹️☹️
#f1 fanfic#formula 1#f1#f1 x reader#fanfiction#smau#f1 smau#max verstappen#redbull racing#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen fluff#mv1#mv1 smau#max verstappen 1#f1 fic#motorsports#formula 1 smau#max verstappen fanfiction#mv33#mv33 x reader#mv1 x reader#mv33 smau#max verstappen 33
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@todaysbird
#birbs#we love it your honor#what is it?#a good boi 😌#not certified [ we have no fucking clue what this dude be ] but beloved
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