#cavern livingston

[justanotherquinnfan]

On The Devil of Dublin and Going "All In"

I doubt it has gone unnoticed by those in the Quinn community, but just in case this slipped under anyone's radar, The Devil of Dublin is now fully revealed (I mean his identity, pervs) and has made the announcement that he is going "all in" at the same time. That was something like 2 (3?) months ago, and watching his journey is SO fascinating.

So TDOD, or Eric Nolan, made a huge announcement some while back when he revealed not only what he looks like, but his name and daytime career. To say this is fairly unprecedented might be an understatement. To my knowledge, I haven't seen a major Quinn or erotica VA come out of their anonymity and certainly not like this. Not to mention the fact that Eric has been one of the most popular voices on the app.

I mentioned in the past that I was concerned that this move might have been due to pressure brought on by fans (something I assumed given the exodus of several anonymous VAs from social media). I was also concerned because of some discourse I had read from people worrying that if they saw what some of these actors looked like, how disappointed they would be if they didn't find them physically attractive.

To the first point, obviously I just wasn't giving Eric enough credit as a grown man who knows his mind. That's on me any my own unconscious bias that I am currently working towards.

To the second point, well. Eric honestly wasn't worried about that, nor should he have been, as he painted the image of himself to be as accurate as I'm sure his fans had hoped. But the poster on Reddit, where I read that baseless fear, still sticks in my mind and I feel the need to address it in a separate post. But for now, let's just say that if anyone was nervous that Eric wouldn't, er, live up to the hype, let's say, then I'm hoping it's been put to rest because honestly, have you seen him?

Since the reveal, I can't help but notice his posts, both on Quinn and social media, to be more filled with abandon. At the risk of a BDSM joke, it's like he'd been somewhat shackled down and now he is freed. He can incorporate more of himself into his work. I know he does a lot of collaboration with BB Easton (which is brilliant, she's a fantastic writer), but it's been cool to see him explore.

And explore he has! I think the first thing that really took me, hmm. Not off guard, but rather maybe by pleasant surprise? Was his Rest Day Ramble.

Now, I know I'm not the only one out there who can say they love a ramble, but I REALLY love rambles. There is something so much more vulnerable about them. If they are truly spontaneous and unscripted, there is a sense of reciprocation that might not exist in the fantasy scenarios. Which, I love those as well, but there can be at times (for me) a sense of loneliness in them. Like this is just for my benefit. And I do know that many creators get a real charge simply of the act of coming up and figuring out these fun stories, who enjoy the total process from start to finish. So I know it's not entirely one-sided. But, there is still something to be said about the feedback loop that comes from someone allowing themselves pleasure for the sake of another's pleasure.

I do want to be clear here, that I am still fully recognizing the parasocial nature of this exchange and I am both cognizant and respectful of the boundaries. But if a VA wants to adjust those boundaries and let us in just a little bit, I am grateful for the opportunity to share in the energetic exchange as I personally find it fulfilling.

I say so many words to just say that the Rest Day Ramble was so very hot. Just. So hot. Part of it is, in fact, that vulnerability. Eric speaks to the listener directly. He gently teases us for playing along and maybe responding to questions out loud. He gives us a window into his process, how it can physically affect him to do these audios. I will say, whether this is true or not, the idea that he finishes one of his saucy, extra spicy Devil stories feeling excited and bereft, took my breath away. I mean. What an image! And of course he knew exactly what he was doing by painting it for us.

I won't go much further into discussing this particular audio because I feel like it's worth it to go have a listen for yourself if you haven't. But it pretty much descends into the kind of sweaty miasma you tend to expect from a licentious 6ft-something tall Irishman. It's glorious and should definitely be in queue if it's not already.

From there we see a rise in some of the most delicious collabs I've ever seen. From his Devil's Pact series, in which we see Mairsyy as our knight in shining honor (poor guy....) to Tom York in the London Calling series (when will there be a part 3???P) to John York giving us some needed aftercare in Virtual VA and then Zach Cowman in Freaky, which is honestly just perfection. The next collab on the docket, it would seem, is Cavern Livingston, and I won't lie, I'm excited!

In between those we also see more audios that I feel offer even more of a wink-wink-nudge vibe. The Brat Test was a genius way to get fans to interact (hmm, that might be one bit of phrasing too far). His even more recent offering of "I Know, I Know..." addresses his reputation for the infidelity tag (one in which I am not personally super comfortable with, but to each their own) and he finishes the audio by saying something to the effect of, "He can have the best of you, I will happily take the worst of you." For those of us who struggle with listening to Quinn while in a relationship? That is a line that will do about 3 weeks worth of therapeutic healing and I thank him so much for it.

I will very honestly say that, prior to all of this change, I hadn't quite yet jumped on the TDOD train. I get why he's so popular, but my own journey is so roundabout, that I just hadn't quite figured him out yet. I look for things that are not just sexy, but also are helping me do some major healing of my own. I just wasn't sure where to begin with his work.

But once he opened up, it was a whole different ballgame because I'm very much the kind of person that only wants to play if everyone wants to play. And Eric essentially threw off the mask and said, "LET'S PLAY" and I was just hooked.

But the thing that really got to me? Was actually his episode of The Audiobook Club with John York. In it he is asked if he ever thought about taking a break from Quinn. And this sweet man literally teared up at the thought. He then goes on to say that he knows what he brings to the lives of so many of his fans. And what if, when someone is having just such a shitty week, they go to Quinn for some comfort and he's not there? He would feel terrible, like he let people.

Ok, so look. The realist in me would just respond with the fact there there is genuinely hours upon hours of content, that missing a drop or two is not the end of the world. But the romantic, the empathetic, part of me? Just feels so much (platonic) love for someone who really see what he's doing as not just building fantasies, but offering help to those who need it. And for that, and that alone, he will always have a fan in me. Because you don't need to look at Quinn like that. But it is that for so many of us and he just really gets it, you know? You don't abandon someone like that.

So, to conclude, I say that I am all in on Eric going all in! I am so excited to see what he has next in store for the world of Quinn, the world of audiobooks, just the world in general. Because it can only be something saucy and fun and the perfect escape we're looking for.

For anyone interested in responding, what are you looking forward to in the future from The Devil of Dublin? I would LOVE to see more collabs, particularly a part 3 to the London Calling series (especially if it ends as a "Why choose?" scenario, though I may spontaneously combust at the idea of both Tom AND Eric). Or perhaps another Devil's Pact, featuring Milo? But I would love to see Golden Retriever Milo in that scenario.

What about you? Let me know, the future is looking so much fun!

[oldschoolfrp]

The Bonerat Caves, an orc settlement (Titan: The Fighting Fantasy World, by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone, Puffin Books, 1986)

[all-action-all-picture]

Caverns of the Snow Witch by Ian Livingstone. Fighting Fantasy Gamebook No. 9 from 1984. Cover by Les Edwards, interior illustrations by Gary Ward and Edward Crosby.

[singeratlarge]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Adam22, Felice Allesandri, Clem Burke, Dale Carnegie, Billy Connolly, Denise Crosby, Candy Darling, Howard Duff, Donald “Duck” Dunn, Colin Hanks, the great American composer Scott Joplin, producer-songwriter Terry Lewis, Stanley Livingston, Lee Michaels, Charles Theodore Pachebel, Elvis Ramone, Dave Sinclair (Caravan, Hatfield & the North), Baruch Spinoza, Staind, Chad Taylor (Live), keyboardist Richard Tee, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Robin Williamson (Incredible String Band), Teddy Wilson, Jim Yester (The Association), and Pete Best, the original drummer for The Beatles. That’s him on the Decca audition tapes and other early recordings. Deep Beatlemaniacs know that, in 1962, Best was replaced by Ringo Starr, which led to the classic line-up of the Fab Four. That episode is shrouded in urban legend, including rumors that Best was sacked because he was a bigger “chick magnet” than Paul McCartney. The true reason was more prosaic—Ringo had more experienced chops. It was an emotionally-wrenching career move for both Best and the other Beatles as they’d grown up together in Liverpool.

Best retired from drumming in the late 60s and became a civil servant. Then the 1995 Beatles ANTHOLOGY restored him to the public eye. At the behest of family, fans, and friends, Best formed a band and hit the road. In 2005 I was playing keyboards for The Davy Jones Band at a music festival in Newport, Rhode Island, and The Pete Best Band opened with a raw, rowdy rave up show, replicating the Beatles Cavern Club rock’n’roll set from the early 60s. It was a blast to watch! I lost my photo of Pete and I at the catering tent, but in this video I’m watching sidestage w/family members. HB Pete and God bless your rock’n’roll heart!

#beatles #petebest #drums #drummer #britishinvasion #davyjones #monkees #anthology #ringostarr #paulmccartney #cavernclub #liverpool #rhodeisland #newport #musicfestival #keyboards #johnnyjblair

[hiddenpen]

Our Lives - Chapter Nine: Resolution

Notes: Okay I'm just going to shut up on this one.

Two months later

“One more night,” Joel murmured, almost to himself. Anne looked at him.

“One more night,” she echoed.

And then, finally, tomorrow they would reach Jackson. The temperature was starting to fall, and the thought of Henry and Sam was now becoming blurred, as they walked through the abandoned streets of Wyoming. Not because the wounds had healed, but because the mind was retreating into itself to dull the pain.

They had buried them before departing.

The ground had been cold, forcing Joel to drive the shovel in with more force. Anne had helped him, neither speaking much. Ellie had stood beside them, holding Sam’s backpack, gripping the worn fabric so tightly her knuckles had turned white. She had knelt down carefully, placing the small radio they had danced to just the night before on top of the grave, and stepping back, she had lingered for a moment before whispering, “I'm sorry.”

Time blurred for everyone after that. They lost track of the days, counting only by distance and supplies. Sam and Henry’s deaths had inevitably left a mark, and nobody had the emotional tools to deal with it—or even talk about it. For a while, everything felt heavier. The days were quieter, the jokes fewer. But then, slowly, things began to change. Joel, surprisingly, had started to talk more. Not a lot, of course, and not about things that mattered, but more than before.

He answered Ellie’s questions instead of shutting them down, even told her a few things about Tommy that he hadn’t before. He let her sit closer by the fire at night without shifting away. Anne noticed it, too. She also noticed that he wasn’t as quick to push her away, even after their other fights. It was like they had all silently agreed to try—to be together, to hold onto something. As if they’d realized, in their own way, how important it was to open up, even just a little. Or maybe time was simply doing its job, making them accustomed to each other.

Ellie had grown more comfortable around them, treating Joel with an ease that would have been impossible just months ago. She teased him, annoyed him, wore him down with an endless stream of No Pun Intended jokes from Will Livingston’s book while Joel pretended he didn’t find them funny. Anne appreciated it—more than she’d admit. Sometimes they laughed until their sides hurt, until the cold didn’t feel as cold, until their exhaustion didn’t weigh as much.

Now, as they neared Jackson, that fragile balance felt more important than ever. Joel was terrified he wouldn’t find Tommy, and he was using every ounce of his mental strength not to think about it too much. Earlier, when they stopped to set up camp, he had almost had a panic attack. Anne, sitting nearby, had pretended not to notice at first. Then, without a word, she leaned against him—just enough to ground him. Just enough to say: I’m here. We’re close. It’s gonna be okay. He hadn’t said anything. But his breathing had gone back to normal.

Now, as the sun dipped below the mountains, the cold settled in again. Snow covered the ground, reflecting the last light of day, making everything look too bright, and the air smelled of pine and frost. The fire crackled, its warmth pushing back the bite of the cold air. It cast flickering shadows on their faces, painting them in a soft, amber glow. Joel sat with his back against the side of a small cavern, and the flask of whiskey in his hand was reflecting the firelight as he took a sip. Anne was perched on the opposite side of the fire, her knees tucked to her chest, watching the flames dance. Ellie had scrambled up a boulder nearby, balancing herself precariously as she stared up at the sky.

“Ellie,” Joel called, “get down from there before you break somethin’.”

Ellie groaned but started making her way down. “But, man… there are so many stars,” she said.

Anne followed her gaze. “Yeah,” she murmured. “They’re beautiful.”

Ellie was quiet for a moment before asking, “So… what do you think the Fireflies are gonna do to me? Like, just run some tests, or…?”

Joel’s jaw tightened slightly, his eyes flickering toward the fire. “I think it’s gonna be more complicated than that,” he said after a pause. “But… I don’t know.”

Anne nodded. She wasn’t sure what the Fireflies had in mind either, and something about it didn’t sit right with her.

Ellie let that settle before glancing between them again. “And what about after? After we get there, after they do… whatever. What are we gonna do?”

Joel raised an eyebrow, giving her a sideways look. “Oh, it’s a we now?”

Ellie scoffed. “Okay, you.”

Anne shot Joel a quick glance, thinking he’d been a little harsh, but she didn’t say anything. Maybe because she didn’t know what to think either. The idea of them parting ways wasn’t something she wanted to dwell on. She’d grown used to this strange little trio. She was comfortable with it—maybe too comfortable.

Joel finally sighed. “I dunno. Maybe find somewhere quiet, like a ranch. Settle down. Get some land.” He paused, then added, almost embarrassed, “Raise some sheep.”

Ellie chuckled, shaking her head. “Sheep? Nice.”

“They’re quiet. Do what they’re told,” he said with a smirk.

“Yeah, okay. So… just you and a bunch of sheep.” She nodded. “Romantic.”

Anne smiled at that, but the warmth of the fire did little to thaw the complicated tangle of emotions sitting heavy in her chest. She didn’t offer any plans of her own—because she didn’t have any. She hadn’t let herself think that far ahead.

“What about you? Where are you gonna go?” Joel asked.

Ellie shrugged. “It’s probably ‘cause I grew up in the QZ. Behind you, there’s the ocean. In front of you, there’s a wall. Nowhere else to look but up. I read everything I could in the school library—Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, Jim Lovell. But you know who my favorite is?”

“Sally Ride,” Anne said.

Ellie grinned. “Sally fuckin’ Ride. Best astronaut name ever.”

The fire crackled, filling the silence that followed. The night felt heavier now, the stars above seeming just a little brighter, a little farther out of reach.

After a while, Ellie yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “So, uh… first watch or second?”

“We’ll do both,” Anne said softly, glancing at Joel.

“Yeah,” Joel agreed. “Get some sleep.”

Ellie groaned but didn’t argue. She grabbed her blanket and walked inside the little cavern.

“Dream of sheep ranches on the moon,” Joel teased, but his voice was soft.

Ellie’s tired laugh drifted through the camp, “I will.”

The dark began to claim the sky, it was a moonless night, the stars were bright and seemed closer to earth. Anne bumped Joel’s boot with her own, signaling for him to pass her a bit of whiskey. There was a strange atmosphere between them tonight, and Anne was still trying to understand what she would do after reaching the Fireflies. Joel, as if he was reading her mind, spoke up all of a sudden.

“Did you really want to go?”

Anne was surprised by the question. She considered deflecting—old habits—but if these past two months had taught her anything, it was that avoiding the truth never got her anywhere. She had learned to speak honestly, even when it was difficult.

“I don’t know. I think I always kind of liked the idea that I could do something… Meaningful. Doesn’t mean that I want to change the world, but I wanted to believe that I could change something for the better, even the smallest thing”

“Yeah, I know”, he replied.

“I wanted to tell you”

“But you didn’t”

“I would have”, she replied quickly.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. You are—You were…”, she exhaled, “I never stopped—”

She couldn’t finish the sentence. And in the dim firelight, his eyes flickered, his heartbeat beginning to race.

“I never stopped believing that we could do something different. Something good.” Her voice was steadier now. “I would have asked you to come with me.”

They had talked about it one night. They had spoken about leaving Boston, spending a few months with the Fireflies, and then deciding if it was worth it. He had agreed—eventually. It had taken some time to convince him, but deep down, he knew he struggled to look at himself in the mirror. The nightmares of his past, of everything he had endured, kept him awake at night. Anne had reminded him that there was an alternative, that he could be a better man—or at least, that he could reclaim some small part of who he had once been. Secretly, he liked that feeling, it was electrifying.

He swallowed and looked in her eyes, searching for something. And he could see how sweet she was. He could see her dreams, how badly she wanted to be a better person.

“Well I–”, he was struggling to find the words, “I would have liked that”.

“Looks like we didn’t really have a choice, after all”, she said looking at Ellie, who was already asleep.

“Yeah…”, he looked at her briefly, and after a long pause he continued, “I’m sorry about what happened”.

“What do you mean?” What did he mean?

“I mean how–  Things uh… ended”.

“Me too”.

She hadn’t expected him to say something like this, but maybe she was reading too much into it. “It was my fault,” she added before she could stop herself.

“It wasn’t anyone’s fault, Anne,” he said, shaking his head.

“I know. I meant that… I don’t know. I could have done things diff—”

“No, you couldn’t.”

He realized the words had come out wrong. He wasn’t mad at her, not really—though the hurt still lingered. But he meant what he said. He didn’t think it was anyone’s fault. Some things just happened. He wanted to say all of this, wanted to voice every thought running through his head, but fear gripped him instead. All of a sudden, he realized he was admitting too much.

“We both could have handled things differently,” he said instead. “But there’s no use cryin’ over spilt milk now.”

She just nodded. Decided not to push it. She didn’t want to ruin the rare moment they were finally having.

Ellie woke up at dawn, finding Joel and Anne both sound asleep, they were now closer to each other, probably trying to fight the cold of the night. She decided to let them rest a bit more, they needed it and she couldn’t bear them being even grumpier. She slowly crouched down beside Joel, trying not to make any sound, and took the rifle from his side. As she was closer to them, she noticed that they had fallen asleep with their hands intertwined. She smiled at the sight, even though it was kind of embarrassing to see. But the idea of them being closer was something she always kept in the back of her mind, from the second she saw them arguing. She found it comforting, knowing that they cared about each other, even if they tried so hard not to show any emotion. It told her that they could care, maybe, even for her.

Ellie did everything they had taught her about keeping watch: she stayed low, kept her ears sharp, made sure to scan the area every few minutes, and never let the fire die completely. She was proud of herself, but she wondered if they were going to be mad that she hadn’t woken them up—or if they were going to beat themselves up for falling asleep in the first place. Probably yes, they would. They were still trying to accept that sometimes they failed at maintaining the meticulous control they wanted to impose—mainly on themselves—to keep Ellie safe. And they still didn’t quite accept that Ellie wasn’t a normal adolescent. She had grown up in a QZ, gone to FEDRA school, killed two people. One of them to save Joel, actually. They didn’t know the details about the other one. She had only brought it up once before quickly shutting it down, saying she didn’t want to talk about it. And they had respected that.

Eventually, they woke up. Joel was the first to open his eyes, he instantly noticed the warmth radiating from his left hand and quickly retracted it. His mind drifted to the conversation they had the night before, he thought he shared too much, it was foolish and it was dangerous. But just as quickly, he recalibrated his thoughts, reminding himself of what mattered. After the little dance they shared, after spending every day together for almost three months, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling drawn to her. It terrified him. But it was beyond his control. Every time they touched—even unconsciously—his body burned. They hadn’t seen each other for an entire year. He had forced himself to forget everything that reminded him of her—her eyes, her touch, the sound of her voice. Most of all, he missed talking to her. Laughing. Hell, he even missed their bickering over nothing at all. For so long, he had shut it all down. And it had worked. But now it was impossible, and in some resolute moments, he simply accepted it and let himself go.

Anne woke up. She remembered falling asleep. Remembered how, slowly, she had taken his hand in hers—and how he had let her. How his thumb had traced soft circles against her palm. And now, she regretted it. She was so stupid. She knew this would only hurt her, and him. Again. But still, she kept doing it. Kept finding ways to touch him, to be near him. She just couldn’t help it. As she fully came to, she heard Joel telling Ellie to wake them if she ever found them asleep.

Fuck, she thought. These things can’t happen. We can’t just fall asleep like that.

What if someone came and Ellie couldn’t warn them?

What if Ellie didn’t wake up and someone snuck up on them?

No. Too stupid.

“You have to wake us up, Ellie. Alright?”, she said to Ellie, even if Joel had just finished to say the same thing to her. She just scoffed, thinking that she expected this reaction, but she wasn’t really bothered. She knew they were mostly mad at themselves, and she thought it was unnecessary. But all these mental processes couldn’t be simply translated into words in that moment, so she just agreed and decided it was better to let it go and not piss them off any further.

They reached an old power plant, and strangely, it didn’t seem entirely broken down. Just in case someone was living there, they decided it was best to go around. Jackson was close now. The map, after everything it had been through, was barely readable, but they were heading in the right direction. Based on their calculations—and, honestly, just basic geography and the simple fact that ‘keep moving straight’ seemed to be working—they would reach Jackson within a day.

“Man, I’m starving,” Ellie groaned.

“Yeah, me too,” Joel said, “Let’s get around this place first, then we’ll look for something to eat.”

“You know what?” Ellie continued, “You should teach me how to hunt.”

“Mmh.”

“What?” she snapped, “You think I can’t do it? ‘Cause I’m a girl? Anne does it.”

“No. I think you’re capable,” Joel said, “I’m just not sure about the dressing.”

“The dressing?” Ellie frowned.

“It’s when you pull the guts out,” Anne explained.

Ellie smirked, “Shouldn’t it be called undressing? Since, you know, you’re taking something out?”

Joel shook his head in disbelief, “Well, it’s called dressing.”

Ellie grinned. She always had fun poking at Joel like this, “Kinda stupid, but… okay.”

“My God,” Joel muttered.

As they moved along the perimeter, they realized the plant was massive, its walls stretching endlessly in both directions, reinforced with rusted fences and overgrown debris. The further they went, the clearer it became: there was no easy way through.

“Shit,” Joel muttered, stopping near a giant gate. He tested it, giving it a firm shove, but it wouldn’t budge. Anne joined him, pushing against it with both hands, but it was sealed shut.

“Now what?” Joel asked, glancing at her.

Anne exhaled sharply, scanning the area, "We could try jumping the fence, maybe. But first, let’s look around—there might be a hole in the wall somewh—"

A gunshot rang out from above. Instinctively, they all looked up, their hands moving to their weapons.

“Don’t even think about taking out your weapons. And tell the girl to drop hers. Now.”, said a woman pointing a rifle at them.

“Ellie, do as the lady says”, said Joel.

“Please tell me you’re lost”, the lady from above continued.

“We didn’t know this place was occupied,” Anne replied, stepping back from the gate. “We just wanted to go around, but it’s impossible.”

“They’re alright,” a man’s voice interrupted.

“What? Do you know these people?”

The heavy creak of the gate swinging open cut the tension, and a man stepped into view.

“I know him,” he said. “He’s my goddamn brother.”

Joel’s eyes widened, disbelief flickering into relief.

“Tommy,” he breathed.

“Holy shit,” Tommy muttered before stepping forward and pulling Joel into a tight hug. Joel laughed, hugging him back.

“How you doin’, baby brother?”

Tommy pulled away but kept a hand on Joel’s shoulder, scanning him for a moment before shaking his head with a grin. “Lemme look at you. You got fuckin’ old.”

Joel chuckled, brushing Tommy’s hand off playfully, “Easy. It’s gonna happen to you too.”

Anne and Ellie stood back, watching the reunion without wanting to interrupt. Anne studied Tommy—he looked just like she had imagined. And for a brief moment, she was happy. Happy that whatever had come between the brothers before didn’t seem to matter anymore.

Meanwhile, the woman from the gate climbed down and joined them. Tommy gestured toward her.

“This is Maria. Be nice to her—she sorta runs things around here.”

“Ma’am,” Joel said, tipping his head, “Thanks for not blowin’ our heads off.”

Maria chuckled, then turned to Ellie and Anne, “Ellie, right? And you are?”

“Anne.”

“Anne?”, asked Tommy, “Anne from Boston?”

Anne chuckled, “Anne from Boston, yeah”

“Ah! Finally I see the face of the one drivin’ my brother crazy.”, he said while extending his hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Tommy”, she said smiling as she shook his hand.

Joel turned to her, and for a brief moment, they exchanged an embarrassed glance. Maria, sensing the tension, smoothly changed the subject. “Come on, let’s get you inside. You must be hungry,” she said, looking at Ellie.

“Starving”, she answered, and followed Maria.

Tommy explained how they were trying to repair the power plant after being attacked by a group of raiders. As they showed them around, Ellie seemed both confused and surprised. She kept glancing at Joel and Tommy as she nibbled on a piece of chocolate Maria had given her to hold her over. Joel was acting different around his brother. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was jealous. Anne was surprised too, but her focus was elsewhere—on Ellie, who seemed bothered by something Anne couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe she was just tired. Or maybe, as they were getting closer to the end of their journey, she was starting to worry about what would happen to her. Anne decided she’d have to talk to her if they could find a moment—to reassure her, or at least figure out what was going on. Over the past two months, she had gotten more accustomed to talking to Ellie, getting to know her, and learning not to be afraid of her unpredictable mood swings. But she still needed to refine her approach. She wasn’t like Joel—he had already been a parent.

Speaking of, today he was cold with both of them. Still, it was better than his glorious grumpy days, at least.

After they finished the tour, Maria told them they could head back to Jackson together. They could borrow a horse—she and Tommy were scheduled to return to the plant anyway and would bring it back later. Ellie mounted with Joel, and Anne rode with Maria, so the horses wouldn’t have to carry too much weight. The ride back was beautiful. The sun was high, its light reflecting off the snow in a blinding shimmer. Anne could feel its warmth on her cheeks, and for a moment, she closed her eyes, inhaling the crisp air. It smelled of water. It reminded her of that one time they went to Wissahickon when she was in elementary school. She realized then—she had so many good memories in that city, all buried beneath the deep pain that came after. Nostalgia was a strange feeling. A good one. And maybe it was a compromise she hadn’t realized she could make. Everything had a double side, and she had learned to appreciate the dichotomy of suffering. The challenge was to find equilibrium. Maybe that’s what she should focus on.

“Here we are,” Tommy said.

From the top of the hill, they could see a small settlement, surrounded by mountains and, more practically, by a towering concrete wall. Very reassuring, Ellie thought. She liked that. If they hadn’t seen it with their own eyes, they wouldn’t have believed a place like this could exist.

Once inside, it was even more incredible. People looked at them, greeting Tommy and Maria as they passed. People were being people again. Boston wasn’t like this. Smiles were rare there—everyone was fighting for more ration cards, more jobs, more respect, whatever that meant. But here, it seemed like they had found balance. As Maria walked them through town, she explained how things worked.

“Look, Joel! Your sheep!”

Ellie had relaxed a little. She was taking it all in, eyes wide, shocked that a place like this could exist. But even as she marveled at it, a quiet sadness crept in. Because she knew they wouldn’t be staying. And worse—she didn’t know what would happen next. Would she stay with Joel? With Anne? With both of them?

She wanted to.

“Alright,” Maria said. “Let’s have a proper meal. Come inside.”

“This is the dining area. We have meat over there, vegetables from the garden, and just recently, we started making sheep cheese.”

“Wow. That’s impressive”, said Anne.

“Yeah. It wasn’t easy, but we made it. Still a lot to improve, though”, replied Maria.

“I can imagine. And you run the place?”, she asked.

“Not exactly. Let’s just say I manage some things, but we don’t have a ‘chief.’ Everyone collaborates to keep things running. We hold weekly assemblies to discuss problems and new strategies.”

“So… like communism,” Anne observed.

Tommy made a face. Joel glanced at him, smirking.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Maria admitted. “But let’s not say it out loud. People have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this is, in fact, not a utopia.”

“Oh, you can bet on that. I’m certainly not gonna be the one to ruin the dream,” Anne replied.

They sat at a table in the center of the room, grabbing their food and digging in. Maybe a bit fast. Too fast. Tommy and Maria exchanged a look, watching as they practically devoured everything on their plates. Joel noticed, “Sorry. We haven’t had a proper meal in a while.”

“I think I’ve never had a proper meal. This is fuckin’ amazing,” Ellie said, talking with her mouth full.

Joel gave her a look, “Ellie. Let’s mind our manners.”

She ignored him, still shoveling food into her mouth, completely unbothered.

“What?” she finally said, catching someone staring at her.

Joel sighed, “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, his voice softer this time.

“You should ask her, since she keeps staring,” Ellie muttered.

“She’s just curious. We don’t see many new people here, especially kids,” Maria said.

“I’m fourteen. Not a kid,” Ellie snapped, scoffing as she turned back to her plate.

Anne shot her a glare before glancing at Joel, who looked just as confused by Ellie’s attitude.

“Okay then,” Maria said, her patience beginning to thin.

“I think we’re all just a little tired,” Anne offered, trying to smooth things over.

But she could tell Maria wasn’t convinced. She kept looking at Joel, her expression was suspicious, she couldn’t quite place it. And she noticed the way Maria kept glancing at her too, like she was trying to piece together what their relationship was, why they were traveling with a kid that clearly wasn’t theirs. She couldn’t really blame her, and she knew they’d have to explain.

And man, she really didn’t have the energy for it.

Was Joel going to tell Tommy that Ellie was immune? Maybe. Maybe not.

“So…”

Here we go.

“What brings you here? What’s the story?”, asked Maria.

Mh. Very direct, Anne thought.

Nobody answered. The silence dragged on, long enough to be uncomfortable. Then Joel finally cleared his throat.

“We, uhh… we have a job to complete. A simple drop-off.”

Maria raised an eyebrow, “Okay.” She waited, expecting more. Anne and Joel exchanged a look.

“We have a deal with the Fireflies,” Anne said.

Maria exhaled sharply, glancing at Tommy before nodding, “Listen, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m not going to ask what it is you’re dropping off. Frankly, I feel like the less I know, the better. But you’ve seen this place. We don’t want any—”

“Ma’am, we understand your concern,” Joel cut in. “We won’t cause any trouble here. In fact, we’ll be on our way soon.”

“I don’t think we’ve caused any trouble so far—” Ellie muttered.

Anne had let her slide before, but not this time, “Ellie, can you please?”

“What? She’s treating us like criminals.”

“We just have to be careful who we let in, that’s all,” Maria said evenly.

Ellie scoffed, letting her fork clatter against the plate before gesturing at Joel, “He’s his fuckin’ brother, man.”

“Ellie, enough,” Anne snapped. Ellie looked ready to fire back, but one sharp glare from Anne made her reconsider. She clenched her jaw, swallowing whatever response she wanted to give. Anne waited a beat to be sure Ellie was done before turning to Maria.

“I’m really sorry about that. As Joel said, we don’t want to cause any trouble.”

Tommy interrupted, one could see he was a bit embarrassed by this whole misunderstanding, “I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot here.”

Joel sighed, stepping in, “Yes. Ma’am, we’re really thankful for your hospitality and all,” he said before turning to Tommy. “But it’d be nice to have a moment. Just for family.”

“Well, actually…” Tommy said, reaching for Maria’s hand. “Maria is family.”

Joel froze. His eyes flicked down to their hands. He just stood there, silent. Tommy, sensing the tension, tried to ease it, “We all gotta get wrangled up at some point.”

Ellie was the first to speak.

“Oh shit. Congrats.”

Anne followed her lead, “Yeah, uh… congrats.”

Tommy and Maria nodded, waiting for Joel to say something. But he didn’t. He was still staring at them, stuck.

Ellie nudged his elbow, whispering, “Joel. Say congrats.”

That seemed to snap him out of it.

“…Congrats,” he said, in the plainest tone possible.

Nobody said anything anymore. Anne stared down at her plate, while Ellie seemed to be the only one amused by the whole situation. Maria, finally, decided to calm down a little and give them the benefit of the doubt. Ellie was right—Joel was Tommy’s brother. And even though Maria knew about Joel’s past—and was beginning to suspect he shared some of it with Anne, who seemed anything but a saint—she realized she had been a little too harsh. Maybe it was just her way of protecting Tommy from something she feared would hurt him. But she could see how relieved he had been when he saw Joel. And that was important.

So, she let it go.

“Alright. Let’s give the boys some space,” she said, turning to Anne and Ellie. “Come with me. I figure you could use some time to relax—and have a shower.”

Anne was surprised by Maria’s sudden change of heart, but she decided to just appreciate it.

Maria led them to her and Tommy’s house, and the feeling was oddly familiar—like being at Bill and Frank’s. Anne had always liked the smell of other people’s homes. It was intimate, like getting to know someone on a more instinctive level, but practical at the same time. Their house smelled of wood and incense. Ellie went to shower first while Anne helped Maria gather a few things she planned to give them. Anne tried to tell her they didn’t need anything but a coat for Ellie, but Maria insisted on giving them more, and Anne lost the battle. She quickly realized it was hard to argue with Maria. But she liked that about her.

As Ellie was showering, Maria offered Anne a coffee, and she had insisted on helping make it, saying that using a moka reminded her of good times. She was lying, she had used the moka probably only three times in her entire life. But it seemed like the only way to convince Maria, who finally sat down at the small table in the kitchen.

“I hear you’re from Boston?” Maria asked Anne.

“Yes. Well, I went there after the outbreak. But I always lived in Philadelphia. You from Wyoming?”

“No. I’m originally from Omaha, Nebraska. Came here after a while—mostly because of my dad’s will. He wanted to give people an alternative.”

“I’ve been to Nebraska once, to Lincoln. ‘The Gateway to the West’”, Anne said with a small smile.

Maria looked at her, surprised she knew that. She chuckled, “That’s right. I almost forgot about that. But I always thought it was a nice nickname.”

“It is,” Anne agreed. “How did you manage to build something like this?”

“Oh, you know, it wasn’t easy. And it’s really my father’s doing. The hardest part was trusting others—and having them trust you back.”

“I bet. If someone had described a place like this to me, I would’ve thought they were messing with me”, Anne admitted.

“Sometimes I can’t believe it either.”

Anne finished pouring the coffee into the cups and sat down with Maria.

“How did you meet Tommy?” she asked, mostly to steer the conversation away from herself.

“He stumbled in here, much like you. We took a chance on him, and we got to know each other,” she paused, then added, “You knew him years ago, right?”

“Not really. We just talked over the radio a couple of times. By the time I got to Boston, he was already gone with the Fireflies.”

“Right, I figured.” Maria hesitated, then sighed, “About before—I’m sorry if I was so defensive. I know a thing or two about Joel’s past, and I—I don’t know, I guess I expected their reunion to be… different.”

“I know. I was worried too, to be honest.”

Maria studied Anne carefully. Joel didn’t seem like a bad man, but she couldn’t ignore what she had heard about him.

“I guess you and Joel go way back.”

“Yes. I mean—no. We, uhh…” Anne hesitated. “I’ve known him for a long time. We’re—were—colleagues.”

Maria exhaled. “‘Colleagues,’” she repeated, unconvinced, “I thought you two were together.”

“No. We just worked together.”

“Oh, well. The last time Tommy spoke to Joel, he told me he was happy his brother had finally found someone. And he mentioned an Anne.” Maria tilted her head slightly, “But maybe that wasn’t you, then.”

Anne raised an eyebrow, “You seem pretty invested in my relationship with Joel.”

Maria held up a hand, “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m just trying to understand.”

“Understand what?”

Maria studied her for a second before answering, “You seem like a nice person. Reasonable.”

Anne narrowed her eyes, “But?”

Maria hesitated before finally saying it, “We have to be careful about who we let in this place. And I’m sure you’re familiar with Joel’s past.”

Anne’s expression darkened, “I’m not sure where this is going. He’s done what he’s done to survive.”

“I know. But I’m just making sure.”

“Tommy was with him too. Is he a bad person?”

Maria tensed slightly, “Well, Tommy was forced to follow him.”

Anne scoffed, “Oh, you can’t really believe that.”

Maria opened her mouth, then closed it. Because Anne had a point. settled between them. Anne could feel her pulse quicken as she tried to think of something else to say to defend Joel. She really didn’t like how Maria had already drawn her conclusions about him.

“Look, I know it can be difficult to accept. I struggled with it for a long time—understanding how people could act in certain ways, how they could do terrible things. There isn’t an answer. Some people are just bad for the sake of it. But at some point, you realize that some of us were forced by circumstances—and that they’ll regret everything until the day they die. I know what you want to hear from me. That Joel’s just a terrible guy. And I can see that you’re a bit preoccupied, maybe worried that he’s controlling me, or Ellie.”

She exhaled. “I can’t believe I’m admitting this to a stranger,” she muttered to herself.

“Joel’s the best person I know. He’s one of the few people I still see humanity in. He’s done terrible things. I’ve done terrible things. And if you can say—if you can swear—that you’ve never had to clean your hands of blood, then I think you’re just privileged. An exception.”

She held Maria’s gaze.

“Joel cares more than he lets on, and sometimes more than he should. And I think you know what that’s like. I saw the names on your memorial— I guess you know what happened to him. And I know you understand his grief because you carry your own. And I’m really sorry about that”.

“As you said, the hardest part is trusting others. But I’m asking you to trust me on this one.”

Everything Anne said resonated with Maria. She had thought the same things about Tommy. And she, too, had been forced to do things she was still trying to bury within herself. Anne was right. And Maria suddenly felt a little stupid. She still wanted to make sure Ellie was in safe hands, but she could see now—Anne was a good person.

“Okay. I’m sorry if it felt like I was interrogating you”, Maria said.

“No worries, I understand.”

“No, I was a jerk. I guess old habits die hard”

Anne chuckled, “I’m guessing you worked in law.”

“You guessed right. I was a district attorney.”

“Figures.” Anne smiled.

Ellie came down the stairs at that moment, and Anne took it as her cue to leave. She left her with Maria and went to take a shower. She was glad the conversation with Maria had gone the way it did. She was also relieved that it was over, to be honest. But it had to be done, and she thought she did a damn good job defending Joel. Now he really owed her, she thought, a little amused.

The shower was much needed. She let the hot water run down her back, scrubbing away layers of dirt, exhaustion, and tension. By the time she came back downstairs, Maria was cutting Ellie’s hair, and Anne could tell she had been subjected to some questioning. Fair enough. The atmosphere felt lighter, at least.

When Maria finished with Ellie, she turned to Anne. “Want me to trim yours?”

Before Anne could answer, Ellie perked up, “Oh, definitely.”

Anne frowned, “What?”

“You should cut it short,” Ellie said, eyeing her like she was the most oblivious person in the world.

Anne hesitated, “I don’t know…”

“Oh, come on”, Ellie scoffed, “You’re always complaining about it—how it gets in your face, how it’s annoying to wash—”, she mimicked Anne’s voice with an exaggerated whine. Anne shot her a glare, but  Ellie was right. She had wanted to cut it for a long time—having long hair was a pain, a luxury she didn’t need.

Ellie saw the hesitation and pounced, “It’ll be practical. Less weight, less hassle. And way harder for someone to grab in a fight.”

Anne sighed, rubbing her temples. Maria was watching, mildly amused.

“Fine,” Anne muttered.

Ellie grinned victoriously as Maria motioned for her to sit down, “Go big or go home,” Ellie added. “Chop it off.”

Maria worked quickly, her scissors moving with ease as strands of hair fell to the floor, lighter and lighter with each snip. When it was done, Ellie grinned and handed Anne a small mirror.

Oh God. It was really short.

“It’s really nice,” Maria said.

Ellie nodded. “Come on, don’t make that face. It really suits you.”

Anne smirked, looking at herself in the mirror. “I’m not sure I like it.”

“Oh, come on. You’re beautiful. You’d be beautiful even if I shaved you completely bald,” Maria said with a smirk.

Anne raised an eyebrow. “Well, I don’t know if I agree with that last part, but thank you. Even if it was a very aggressive compliment.”

Maria shrugged. “I just met you, but you seem pretty stubborn, so I figured I had to be this aggressive.”

“You’ve got a point.” Anne chuckled. “But really, I appreciate it.”

“Ah, shush, shush, I don’t wanna hear it.” Maria waved her off with a dismissive flick of her hand.

She stood up, stretching. “Alright, I’ve gotta take two horses back to the plant. You can rest here for a while—we’re getting a house cleaned up for you to stay in tonight. But, two important things: First—tonight’s movie night. Ellie, you wanna go?”

“Well, I—” Ellie hesitated, glancing at Anne for approval.

Anne just nodded.

“I would like to,” Ellie confirmed.

“Nice. It starts at 7.30 pm, it’s in the small cinema near the stables”, Maria said, and turned to look at Anne, “And second—there’s the Tipsy Bison. It’s a bar we’ve got here. I’ll tell Tommy and Joel to meet us there later—if you’re not too tired for a drink or two and some music.”

“Oh, I—” Anne hesitated, then smiled. “Yeah, that actually sounds really nice.”

“Perfect. See you then!” Maria said, heading for the door.

Anne and Ellie crashed onto the couch together, sinking into the worn cushions. Anne noticed Ellie had gone unusually quiet. Her eyes kept flickering toward Maria’s memorial, and every now and then, it looked like she wanted to ask something—but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Anne asked.

Ellie blinked. “What?”

“It’s a saying. Means I’d pay a penny to know what you’re thinking.”

“Oh.”

“Come on.”

“Nothing, I was just looking around.”

Anne raised an eyebrow. Ellie sighed, realizing she couldn’t fool her.

“Did you know Joel had a daughter?” Ellie asked suddenly.

“Yes, I knew.”

“Maria told me.”

“I figured.”

“He never said anything about it.”

Anne exhaled. “Well, I don’t think he wants to remember.”

“Yeah, I see. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.”

Silence settled between them. But Anne could tell Ellie still had something on her mind.

“I know there’s something else,” Anne said.

Ellie hesitated. “What do you mean?”

“You can talk to me, Ellie.”

Ellie fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve. “I just—I think it’s this place. I don’t know. Everything I knew was Boston. And now I see kids laughing, going to the movies, eating together…”

Anne nodded. “I get that. Feels a bit strange.”

“And they have families.”

“They do.”

Anne knew what Ellie meant. But she didn’t know how to console her. Because she felt it too. That same knot of hurt, anger, and envy twisting inside. It was easier to struggle when you didn’t know there was an alternative. But now, seeing it firsthand—watching other people live while they had spent so much time just surviving—it fucked with them. Anne wasn’t sure what to say. So instead, she tried to distract Ellie.

“Alright, enough brooding,” she said, nudging her lightly. “Board game?”

Ellie smirked, sniffing slightly, “You’re gonna regret this.”

They played some version of Scrabble, and for a while, it worked. Ellie’s laughter broke through the heaviness, and Anne counted that as a win. By the time Maria returned to take them to the house they’d be staying in for the night, the weight on their chests felt just a little lighter.

But Joel wasn’t there.

Anne hadn’t seen him since lunch—he had disappeared. And she had a feeling it wasn’t just because he needed space. She could imagine exactly how this place was sitting with him. Jackson was everything he had been forced to forget. A functioning town, a home, with warmth, laughter, and people who could afford to care about things beyond just survival. It was the kind of life he had lost. The kind he had refused to let himself want again. And now, standing in the middle of it, she knew it had to be eating him alive. Seeing Tommy settled, safe, married. Watching kids run around, growing up without learning how to hold a gun before they learned how to read. Knowing that, for some people, the world hadn’t completely ended. Anne wondered if, deep down, a part of him resented it. If it made his grief sharper, harder to ignore. If it made everything he had done—the things they had both done—feel even heavier.

That part, she could understand. But what pissed her off was that she thought they had gotten past this. Instead, the second they set foot in a place that could actually give them a break, he shut down again. Disappearing instead of talking to her. It made her feel stupid, like she had imagined all the progress they had made. Like she had built something in her head that wasn’t real. Maybe she should’ve expected it. This was who Joel was—when things got too much, when feelings started creeping in, he ran. He buried it, locked it up, and shut people out. And he constantly gave her mixed signals.

I’ll have to talk to him, she thought.

The house had three separate bedrooms, a nice bathroom, and a kitchen. More than they had hoped for. Maria brought them something to eat, and they spent the early evening together, sharing a quiet meal. The movie was set to start early—7:30 pm—and Maria had told Anne to meet her and Tommy at the Tipsy Bison afterward. They had invited her and Ellie to dinner, but Anne didn’t want to intrude more than they already had.

Ellie had dozed off on the couch, and for a moment, Anne considered letting her sleep. But she remembered how excited Ellie had seemed about the movie, even if she’d been a little hesitant. So she gently shook her awake and walked her over to the small area they had set up as a theater.

For a second, she actually wanted to stay. To sit in the dark and let herself get lost in whatever film they were showing. But she also, strangely, felt excited to go to the bar with the others. It had been so long since she had done something normal, and she felt a pull toward it—toward the possibility of unwinding, maybe even enjoying herself for a few hours.

When she arrived in front of the bar, she felt a bit anxious. All of a sudden, she was hyper-aware of everything. Especially how she looked. She had already forgotten about her stupid decision to cut her hair really short. She hadn’t cared about her appearance for months—hadn’t even known what she looked like, aside from the occasional glimpse in the shattered window of some abandoned car. And what about her clothes? Maria had given her new ones, and they fit well. She liked the flannel shirt. But now, for some reason, she felt insecure about everything. She adjusted her hair a little. Then she took a breath and decided to just go in.

Fuck it.

Inside, a guy and a girl were singing on the small stage, some people were slowly dancing, while others sat around drinking. Anne glanced around, and her eyes landed on Joel’s back. It looked like he had changed into clean clothes, too. She wondered where the hell he had gone. Then she tricked her brain into pretending she didn’t care. She walked toward them, and as she got close, Tommy greeted her, “Here you are. We were startin’ to think you ditched us.”

Anne smiled and went to sit beside Joel—it was the only open seat. As soon as she sat down, Joel turned to look at her. She tried to smile at him, but before she could say anything, he said, “You cut your hair.”

Anne thought she might actually kill him.

Before she could come up with a sarcastic way to snap back, Maria intervened.

“Actually, I’m the artist,” she said.

Anne and Tommy both laughed.

“It’s really good,” Tommy added.

“Thanks, Tommy,” Anne replied.

“Yeah, you look b— you— It’s—”. But he never finished that sentence, just nodded to complete it, masking his extreme embarrassment by practically downing the beer in his hand in one go.

“Guess I’ll take that as a compliment”

Joel just nodded, then cleared his throat, “is Ellie at the movies?”

“Yes”

“Have you eaten?”, he asked her.

Bold of him to assume he’ll live long enough to care. She thought.

“Worried about my caloric intake?”, she said sarcastically, but she saw that he didn’t laugh and his expression was sad. Fine, she’d cut him a break, “Yes, with Ellie. You?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Maria and Tommy could feel the tension, but luckily, they were both good at making small talk. After a while—and after a few beers—Joel had finally started to relax. But Anne could still tell something was puzzling him. Even so, she thought she could see how much he cared about Tommy, and vice versa. They talked about their younger years—Tommy being a little too adventurous, ending up in jail more times than not, and Joel always playing the role of the responsible older brother, constantly having to save Tommy’s ass.

“Actually, one time I had to save your ass,” Tommy said.

“I don’t remember that.”

“Ah! Very convenient. Let me refresh your memory.”

“Tommy…” Joel warned.

“So, we were supposed to go to our parents’ house for Christmas, and—if you didn’t know—Joel hated Christmas for a while. And it was that time. I was living with a roommate who had a bit of a drug thing going on, so I told Joel to pick me up and that we could smoke a joint before heading over. He agreed.

“So we’re at my apartment, and all of a sudden, my girlfriend at the time rings the doorbell—and she is pissed. So I go downstairs, and I end up stayin’ there for, fuck, for almost an hour.”

“My God,” Joel muttered, half-smiling as he took a sip of beer.

“When I come back up, I find my roommate completely knocked out on the sofa, and little Joel here, laughing his ass off at some stupid joke from a cereal box. You know, those corny jokes they sometimes print on the pack?”

“Oh, now you have to tell us the joke. Do you remember it?” Maria asked, amused.

Joel chuckled and rubbed a hand down his face, “I actually do.”

“Come on,” Anne said, nudging his elbow with hers.

“Alright, alright.” He took another sip of beer and sighed before delivering it with a straight face, “To be frank, I’d have to change my name.”

It took a moment to realize that that was the joke. Anne looked at him with wide eyes, then started laughing. Joel caught her expression and lost it too, their laughter spiraling into breathless wheezing. Anne had to grip Joel’s arm just to keep herself steady, her forehead nearly hitting the table. Maria and Tommy exchanged looks, watching them like they were two lunatics.

Tommy shook his head. “Jesus Christ.” But then, the laughter became contagious, and suddenly, all four of them were gone—Maria and Tommy cracking up just from watching Anne and Joel lose their minds over the world’s stupidest joke. It took a full minute for them to catch their breath. Anne wiped the tears from her eyes, still grinning.

“Oh my God,” Maria said, clutching her stomach. “My belly hurts.”

“It isn’t finished,” Tommy added. “I see him like this, completely gone, so I have to literally drag him out of the apartment and shove him into the car. When we get there, our parents immediately ask what’s wrong with him, since his eyes are completely red. So I convince them that maybe he’s having an allergic reaction, and they panic—saying we need to go to the hospital.

“So we all go, and—long story short—I had to bribe the nurse to lie to our parents and say it was just a minor allergic reaction.”

As Tommy told the story, Anne found herself looking at Joel. And God, he was so handsome. His hair was all messy, his beard was the perfect mix of gray and dark strands, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone—just enough to reveal a glimpse of his chest.

“Oh, he really saved your ass,” she said to him.

“Yeah, yeah, I admit it. But it’s still nothing compared to everything I did for him,” Joel said, tilting his beer toward Tommy.

“Your secret is safe with us, don’t worry,” Maria assured him.

“I’m not worried about you,” Joel replied. “I’m worried about this one.” He pointed at Anne. She gasped mockingly, placing a hand over her heart, “Ouch. You really think I’d use this story against you?”

“Mmh-hmm,” he murmured, taking the last sip of his beer.

Anne watched the way his throat moved as he swallowed. His neck. She was losing it.

She straightened, about to retort, but before she could, someone approached the table, and Joel thought he looked a little bit too much at Anne. Yeah, he definitely didn’t like that. So, casually—like it was the most natural thing in the world—he rested his arm along the back of the bench, right on Anne’s side. Anne noticed. And appreciated it. Actually, she appreciated it a little too much, and she had to force herself not to smile. The guy noticed it, too. His gaze flickered between them before quickly redirecting to Tommy and Maria.

“Hey Tommy, Maria, I’m really sorry to disturb you, but we kinda have a minor problem at the stables. You said you might have time to check it out tonight.”

“Oh, fuck me. Right. Sorry, Mark. We’re coming in a minute.”

Mark nodded and walked away. Maria let out a breath, “Shit. I completely forgot we promised to help with the horses.”

Anne had offered to go with them, but Tommy shook his head, “Nah, you two enjoy your evening. You’ve gotta be exhausted.”

It was true. So they didn’t insist. And just like that, they were alone. The air between them shifted—charged all of a sudden. Their legs were still touching under the table, and Joel’s arm was still resting along the back of the bench behind her.

“They’re nice,” Anne said, turning slightly toward him.

“Yeah,” Joel nodded, “I’m happy for him.”

Anne finished her beer, setting the empty glass down a little too carefully. She didn’t want to ruin the vibe of the night. In fact, if the circumstances were different, she thought she knew exactly how she wanted this night to end. But she also knew, in her gut, that something was wrong. And if she didn’t address it now, she never would.

“Where were you today?” she asked, staring at her empty glass.

“With Tommy.”

“With Tommy. Okay.” She exhaled. She knew she’d have to practically extract the truth from him. “Is there something wrong?”

He scoffed, pulling his arm back and avoiding her eyes. He knew he had to talk to her—had known all day—but he had procrastinated until now.

“I— No. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Then talk.”

Joel huffed and stared down at his empty glass, hoping it would magically fill itself with poison so he could drink that instead of dealing with his emotions. She was looking at him. He knew she was pissed. And she had every right to be.

He was the only person who had the power to make her this mad, she thought.

“I swear, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’m going to scream.”

He let out a small laugh at that. Anne smiled too but shook her head. Then she turned to look at him again, and this time, her anger was replaced by something else—something warm and sad at the same time. Something told her that whatever he had to say was going to hurt. And she had a feeling she already knew what it was. She shifted, fully turning to face him, resting half of her leg on the bench.

“Joel,” she said softly, “talk to me.”

He crumbled. He took both hands and ran them down his face. His breathing started to hitch, coming in uneven bursts. Anne noticed immediately. She wanted to touch him, to ground him, to reassure him—because she knew. She knew he was about to have a panic attack. Slowly, she reached for his wrist, her fingers wrapping around it as she gently guided his hand away from his face. They looked at each other. His eyes seemed brighter, almost glassy. Maybe it was just the light. He exhaled shakily and caressed her hand, as if trying to anchor himself.

“I— I need— Can we go out?”

He was defenseless. Anne had never seen him like this before—never seen him this exposed. And it terrified him, showing her this much, letting her see just how scared he was. But he couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe the exhaustion. Maybe the way she was looking at him.

Anne didn’t hesitate. She stood up, and they left. As soon as they stepped outside, Joel sucked in a sharp breath, pressing a hand to his chest. They walked a few steps, then stopped. Joel leaned against the outer wall of the bar, eyes closed, focusing on steadying himself.

“Are you okay?” Anne asked.

“Yeah. No. No, I need a minute,” he muttered.

She dug into her pocket and pulled out Tess’s pack of cigarettes—Lucky Strike Red. She lit one, inhaled. Joel, still catching his breath, glanced at her from the corner of his eye. His breathing was settling now, each inhale less ragged than the last. Anne leaned against the wall beside him and held out the cigarette. He hesitated, it had been years since he last smoked.

But then, he took it. The first drag hit him hard—his throat burned, and he coughed. Anne chuckled, watching him with a smirk.

“How the fuck did she smoke these?” he asked, grimacing.

“It’s crazy, right? I never really inhaled, just acted tough around her,” she admitted.

Joel huffed a laugh, “Yeah. She was always so… consistent.”

Anne liked the way he said that. Consistent. It was a good adjective for Tess. Neither of them spoke for a while. Joel passed the cigarette back to Anne, and she took a slow drag before exhaling.

“You know,” she said, “I always wanted to be more like her. She had this way of doing things… of getting under your skin before you even realized it. And only then would you understand that it was exactly what you needed.”

Joel sighed. “Yeah…”

He paused, exhaling long and deep.

“Remember when she terrified that one strange guy?”

“The guy with the hat?”

“The guy with the hat,” he confirmed, chuckling, “I was convinced she was coming for me right after.”

Anne smirked, “Well, you were acting like a jerk. A little.”

“I was a bit of a jerk, yeah. But he deserved it”

They both tilted their heads back, looking at the night sky, lost in thoughts of Tess. Anne felt an odd sense of relief—finally being able to talk about her, and Joel lifted a heavy weight from his heart, too. He didn’t really acknowledge until now how much he wanted to talk about Tess, how he wanted to remember the good times they spent together. A thought, quick as the speed of light crossed his mind before he could push it away: I don’t know where I would be without Anne.

“Listen”, she said as she stubbed out the cigarette, “I don’t know what’s up with you. I think I know what you’re going to say, but I would be very glad if you told me, to be honest“. She now took two steps to get in front of him. Running a hand through her hair, she gathered whatever courage she had left and faced him. His breath rose in thin clouds of steam against the dark sky.

“I can’t”, he said. Just two simple words.

She knew what he meant instantly. But somehow, knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Why?”, she asked.

Joel scoffed, running a hand down his beard, “Because I’m scared to death. I’m– I just know that I’m going to get her killed–“

“Joel it’s not gonna happen. We’ve been doing okay–”.

“No, Anne I’m– Please don’t make me do it”.

His voice cracked on the last word. Anne thought she could see that his eyes were watering, and his mind was going at full speed. He was begging her, this was how much he was scared.

“Joel”, she stepped even closer, “Look at me”

He did. And now, he could smell her. That familiar scent, warm even in the cold night air, mixing with the bite of winter.

“We’re going to be fine,” she said.

And God, why did she always know what to say?

Why was it so easy for her to talk to him?

Why couldn’t he just shut himself off from her, like he did with everyone else?

His breathing was heavy, his heart in turmoil, and he felt trapped—overwhelmed by panic. Gently, she placed a hand on his chest, trying to steady his breathing. Almost instinctively, he rested his hand over hers, holding it as if it were the only lifeline keeping him upright. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the surge of despair. Anne moved closer, slowly, and just as slowly he took her hand and guided it up, toward his neck. Then, without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in. She felt the slight tremor in his breath.

And in that embrace, everything unraveled. The weight of Tess, of Sam, of Henry. The grief tangled with the bittersweet relief of finding Tommy alive.

Joel was the first to move. He straightened up a bit and pressed a kiss to her head, and she tilted hers closer toward his neck. But he didn’t break the hug. Instead, he lowered his head again and placed a kiss on her cheek. Now her heart was racing so fast he could feel it, and his own was matching hers. He knew he shouldn’t go any further—that he should stop now, while nothing had really happened. But he didn’t. He kissed her again, this time just near the corner of her mouth. She tilted her head, and their lips brushed. Her eyes fluttered open as he cupped her face, his thumb passing gently over her lower lip. When he opened his eyes, he stared at her. She was beautiful, he had wanted to say it to her since she saw her sitting beside him at the bar. And he thought her gaze cut right through him.

She couldn’t stop anymore—the proximity was driving her insane. So she leaned in and kissed him. His lips barely moved at first, but then he parted them just slightly and kissed her back. It was slow. The slowest kiss. Her hands framed his face, as if she were afraid he’d pull away at any second. His hands traveled down to her waist, then rested at the small of her back, pressing her closer. Every nerve in his body was tense. She tasted too good. Her lips were too soft. And he remembered too much. He wanted to disappear—between her body and the wall behind him. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t suffer again. He couldn’t let her down. And he couldn’t hurt anybody else.

So he stopped her, even when she tried to lean in again. His hand remained on her cheek, his thumb barely grazing her skin.

“Anne, I— We can’t,” he whispered against her lips.

But his body betrayed him. Because even as he said it, he leaned in again, his lips brushing over hers, featherlight, hesitant. She tried to deepen the kiss, tilting forward, but this time, he pulled back—more decisive now.

“No. Stop,” he said.

She stopped. She put some space between them, but his hand still lingered on her waist, like some part of him wasn’t ready to let go.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“Just—just hear me out a second. We can still—”

“No,” he cut her off, firmer this time. “Tommy will go with you.”

Her stomach twisted. “Please come with me,” she said, trying to move closer again, her voice quieter now. But his hand tightened just slightly, stopping her in place.

“It’s wrong.”

At that, she stepped back. His hand slipped from her waist, dropping uselessly to his side. She scoffed, incredulous.

“Wrong? Wrong for who?”

“For everyone.”

“And you get to decide that?”

“I don’t—” he exhaled hard, shaking his head, “I don’t know what to say.”

Her hands curled into fists at her sides, then released. “Right,” she muttered. She turned away like she wanted to say something else, to try one last time, but the words didn’t come. Instead, she exhaled sharply and said, “I’m gonna go pick up Ellie.”

“I still have to talk to her”, he replied.

“Well, you better”, her voice was cold now, “And you better think before you speak to her”

Then she walked away, leaving him there.

I’m such an asshole. He thought, as he watched Anne’s figure fade into the night. Every part of him wanted to just follow her, to tell that he was sorry to promise that he wouldn’t go anywhere. That he would stay—with her and Ellie. But the thought of losing them was stronger. He had talked to Tommy that afternoon, and told him everything: Ellie’s immunity, his fear for her, his fear for Anne. Tommy hadn’t exactly been pleased, but he couldn’t deny how much Joel needed this, how much he was hurting. So, eventually, he had agreed. And he, too, still hadn’t found the courage to tell Maria.

He stayed with his back against the wall for a while, then slowly began walking back to the house for the night. He had gone there earlier, before Anne and Ellie arrived, and helped clean it. And the thought of sharing the space with them had a powerful effect on him. An obvious, natural thought crossed his mind.

What if we just stayed? Here? Together?

But he stopped himself before going too far down that road. When he arrived, Ellie was in her room, but Anne wasn’t there. He gathered some courage and knocked on her door.

“Come in,” he heard.

Anne, meanwhile, was looking for Ellie. The movie had already ended, and she could see the other children heading home, but Ellie was nowhere to be found.

Where did she go?

Panic started creeping in. Everything that day had already gone wrong, and this was the last thing she needed.

She searched a little longer, her chest tightening with every passing second, then decided to head back to the house. If Ellie wasn’t already there, she’d tell Joel.

She quickened her pace, her breath shallow, pushing open the door as soon as she arrived.

“Ellie?” she called.

No answer.

Instead, Joel stepped out of his room.

His eyes were red.

It was obvious he had been crying.

“She’s sleeping”, he said to her.

Anne scoffed, “Did you tell her?”

“Yes”

“Good. I’ll wake her tomorrow. So don’t bother,” she said, her tone ice-cold. A lump was rising in her throat, burning, tightening, but she swallowed it down. She refused to let it show. And, she wasn’t going to beg. So they stood there, locked in a standoff, both waiting for the other to fix this, to do something, to say something.

Joel parted his lips, like he was about to finally say something. But Anne was quicker.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at dawn,” she said, turning away.

Fuck it.

If he was going to leave, she wouldn’t stop him. But she wasn’t going to make it easy for him either. And that was the only thing she could bring herself to say that still left the door open.

She didn’t know it, but her words had moved something in him—breaking open what the kiss had already begun to fracture. And his conversation with Ellie, who had not been as calm as Anne, had moved something else.

He turned away, retreating to his bedroom like a man walking toward his own execution. Well, actually—if he really went through with this, he was pretty damn sure Anne would hunt him down and kill him herself.

Sitting on the bed, he took his head in his hands. And then it all came flooding back.

Sarah.

His life before. The weight of it, the sheer unfairness of it, the way time had ripped it all from his hands before he even had a chance to hold on. His job, his home, the way he used to worry about mortgage payments and school dances and whether Sarah had finished her goddamn homework.

And then Anne. Boston. The things they shared, the things he had forced himself to forget.

If he walked away from her now, from both of them, he would never forgive himself.

But wasn’t that safer?

Wasn’t that better than letting them in just to lose them, like he lost everything else?

His breath came hard and uneven. His hands curled into his hair.

What the hell am I doing?

[tannersdreamjournal]

4/19/2023

I was part of a underwater cave exploration team. As the new recruit, they were showing me around - how to access the subterranean area and whatnot. The water was full of small stingrays that seemed to be harmless. After submerging and resurfacing (although we had no equipment and I didn’t actually experience having to dive) we came to a darker cavern that reeked of smoke. The boss liked to go there to smoke his cigars, and I berated him for smoking in an enclosed space with limited oxygen. One of the team members might have been my older brother, who looked athletic and had long dark hair and a moustache.

Possibly a new dream or possibly a continuation of the previous one - as I was leaving work, I got lost and ended up in a rural area without my phone. The area was decrepit and there were roving bands of tweakers. An older black gentleman very kindly gave me directions back to Fresno, and I began to follow the railroad tracks back home. I noticed a small hole in the ground near some rocks and the man rushed over to me to stop me from approaching (which was odd because he had previously said he was late for work), and as he came toward me something shot out of the hole and grabbed him. It was a vampire - a young man perhaps my age or a little younger, and he was blond of hair and rabid in demeanor. He tore my savior to shreds :( 

I made it home without being caught by the vampire. In the dream my house had pleasant wood accents, and the exterior looked like it belonged in a subtropical area. There were people over at the house and to my horror, one of them was the vampire from earlier. Even worse, he was my brother also. There was a moment of recognition and he began to follow me away from the dinner table; I ran and flew up in the backyard between the power lines, and I could feel the static. I escaped again and went to Livingstone’s (which had a distinctly Victorian flair to it) and had some drinks and beef dishes. I saw my older brother there but it looked like my younger brother had turned him into a vampire. I had to think of a plan to save myself and my brothers, and fast. (I don’t remember quite what it was or how, but I had a way of tricking my brother into thinking he had made me into a vampire without me actually becoming one). I lured him into a secluded hallway and let him do his thing, which was uncomfortably erotic and I think he actually did desire me carnally in the dream, and I successfully deceived him. He unexpectedly called the head vampire in, and I had to keep the ruse going.

[omnimic]

Caverns of the Snow Witch, the ninth in the original run of Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks, was an expansion of a mini-adventure first published in Warlock Magazine. To be honest, the expansion kind of makes it kind of a tiresome slog in the later stages. 

What sets it apart, however, are the rather unique interior illustrations by Gary Ward and Edward Crosby, which have a bizarre, mediaeval woodcut feel to them (as opposed to the more modern fantasy art of Les Edwards’ cover). Some of the illustrations look a bit silly (the Yeti perhaps, for example), but otherwise, I think they really work. I’m not sure if the work was split between the two artists – some pictures look less stylized than others – or if they were done in collaboration.

[geekynerfherder]

Cover art by Les Edwards for the Wizard Books edition of the Fighting Fantasy Adventure Gamebook 'Caverns Of The Snow Witch', written by Ian Livingstone.

[daenerystargareign]

Deborah Ann Woll and Tommy Walker in The Battle of Livingstone Caverns Part 1 | Relics and Rarities | Episode 6 Part 1.

[weirdletter]

Ave • atque • Vale: Reminiscences of H.P. Lovecraft, edited by S.T. Joshi and David E. Schultz, Necronomicon Press, 2018. Trade paperback and limite edition hardcover, info: necropress.com.

H.P. Lovecraft was one of the most beloved individuals of his era, and many friends, colleagues, and correspondents wrote memoirs of their association with him. This volume, one of the most exhaustive collection of Lovecraft memoirs ever published, gathers together some of the best-known accounts of Lovecraft the man and writer, including W. Paul Cook’s classic In Memoriam: Howard Phillips Lovecraft (1941) and Sonia H. Davis’s The Private Life of H.P. Lovecraft, a moving discussion of her marriage to the Providence writer. Members of the celebrated Kalem Club (Frank Belknap Long, Rheinhart Kleiner, Samuel Loveman, James F. Morton) add their assessments, while such neighbors as Harold W. Munro (Lovecraft’s classmate at Hope Street High School), Clara Hess, and Muriel Eddy offer unique glimpses of Lovecraft’s life in Providence. As Lovecraft became a titan in the world of pulp fiction, such colleagues as Donald Wandrei, E. Hoffmann Price, and H. Warner Munn recounted their recollections. Late in life, Lovecraft became a mentor for a cadre of young fans and writers who were spearheading the fantasy fandom movement, and many of them—R. H. Barlow, Fritz Leiber, Robert Bloch, Kenneth Sterling, and others—told of their memories of the dreamer from Providence. Ave atque Vale has been meticulously edited by S.T. Joshi and David E. Schultz, two of the leading authorities on Lovecraft. They have supplied biographical information on the various authors and annotated each essay thoroughly to explain obscure references and to correct errors. This book will be an invaluable contribution to the study of H.P. Lovecraft.

Contents: Introduction   I. Some Overviews Ave atque Vale! by Edward H. Cole A Few Memories by James F. Morton In Memoriam: Howard Phillips Lovecraft—Recollections, Appreciations, Estimates by W. Paul Cook Howard Phillips Lovecraft by Samuel Loveman Some Random Memories of H.P.L. by Frank Belknap Long A Memoir of Lovecraft by Rheinhart Kleiner The Normal Lovecraft: A Memoir to Restore Balance to the Shade of a Man of Delightful Character by Wilfred B. Talman The Private Life of H.P. Lovecraft by Sonia H. Davis Memories of Lovecraft by Sonia H. Davis Amateur Affairs by Hyman Bradofsky   II. Childhood and Early Adulthood (1890–1922) Lovecraft, My Childhood Friend by Harold W. Munro Letter to Winfield Townley Scott by Clara Hess Little Journeys to the Homes of Prominent Amateurs by Andrew Francis Lockhart Young Man Lovecraft by L. Sprague de Camp From “Further Recollections of Amateur Journalism” by Arthur Goodenough Lovecraft Was My Mentor by Horace L. Lawson 20 Webster Street by George Julian Houtain Howard Phillips Lovecraft: The Sage of Providence by Maurice W. Moe A Tribute from the Past by Ira A. Cole Discourse on H. P. Lovecraft by Rheinhart Kleiner Memories of a Friendship by Alfred Galpin I Met Lovecraft by Paul Livingston Keil   III. Early Professional Career (1923–1930) Howard Phillips Lovecraft by Muriel E. Eddy The Man Who Came at Midnight by Ruth M. Eddy The Kalem Letters by George Kirk Bards and Bibliophiles by Rheinhart Kleiner Lovecraft as a Conversationalist by Samuel Loveman Recollections of H. P. Lovecraft by Vrest Orton H.P. Lovecraft: A Pupil’s View by Zealia Bishop Lovecraft in Providence by Donald Wandrei H.P.L.: A Reminiscence by H. Warner Munn One Day in the Life of H. P. Lovecraft by Frank Belknap Long   IV. Later Years (1931–1937) An Interview with Harry K. Brobst by Will Murray The Sage of College Street Howard Phillips Lovecraft H.P. Lovecraft the Man by E. Hoffmann Price Idiosyncrasies of H.P.L. by Ernest A. Edkins Some Memories of H.P.L. by Helen V. Sully Three Hours with H.P. Lovecraft by Dorothy C. Walter [Memories of HPL (1934)] The Wind That Is in the Grass: A Memoir of H.P. Lovecraft in Florida by Robert H. Barlow Letter to Fantasy Commentator by Robert Bloch H.P. Lovecraft as I Knew Him by Duane W. Rimel Caverns Measureless to Man by Kenneth Sterling Interlude with Lovecraft by Stuart M. Boland Lovecraft’s First Book by William L. Crawford My Correspondence with Lovecraft by Fritz Leiber Miscellaneous Impressions of H.P.L. by Marian F. Bonner A Glimpse of H.P.L. by Mary V. Dana The Last of H.P. Lovecraft by John B. Michel   V. Brief Tributes Howard P. Lovecraft [1890–1937] by Walter J. Coates From “More Regrettable Passings” by Arthur Harris Howard Phillips Lovecraft by Charles W. Smith O Artemidorus, Farewell! by Ernest A. Edkins From Maurice Moe’s Son by Donald J. Moe A Walk in the Field by George W. Macauley Letter to Weird Tales by Hazel Heald Letter to Weird Tales by Robert Bloch In Memoriam: H. P. Lovecraft Letter to Weird Tales Letter to Science-Fiction Critic by Clark Ashton Smith Howard Phillips Lovecraft by Donald A. Wollheim A Tribute to Lovecraft by Robert W. Lowndes The Genius of Lovecraft by Henry George Weiss (Francis Flagg)   VI. Poetic Tributes Elegy in Spring by August Derleth To H.P.L. by Samuel Loveman To Howard Phillips Lovecraft by Clark Ashton Smith Biographical Notes Bibliography Index

[the-firebird69]

Marcus Welby, M.D. - Wikipedia

This looks like a member of my client or my race and Hera is this is Niko aka Stephen segal and yes Jonathan living Livingston seagull and you make fun of him because you put them in these stories haven't revealed stuff and force him to make weaponry and programs that will help you and you steal them and like you're retarded people because of trump you squander them and his squandered a lot of your shatter dome and we hope you continue. But here's a kicker you look at him and yes my dad started this paragraph and I'm handling it and look at me and you think oh we can capture them like them and you look at Ken say the same thing okay it's in a situation but we're not the same kind as you furthermore we don't really understand why you would want to kidnap us we don't have any value when we're under dress and right now you're doing it and there's no value and you say that's why I will kidnap you or arrest you trumped up some charges all sorts of b******* so you're just going to sit there and sit on doing it so you're going to have like nothing so you ruined our lives and we want our lives back so we called the foreigners and you're just waiting they're doing stuff to you you're falling the number of shattered on them are beginning to cave in no they're falling the two in Brazil are their massive siege the southern one is being attacked by almost everyone they heard our sons announcement our my husband that is he wishes I'll stop saying that our son's stuff. But truthfully your way of course with us and you're hurting relatives who are your loyal soldiers I'm not really sure why no we understand it you're stupid and the influence of idiots you can't even control your bowels or the daily events cuz he's retards take up all your time you don't care cuz you think you're hiding when you're really just losing all your stuff you're going to have to make sure it happens so you don't have any power the harnesses harm us with in the end

Hera

Zues

There are a few things I should mention the southernmost shatteredome in Brazil is in our possession and we're clearing it out he sent his team down there Savage opress to kick its ass and there's not much stuff left on there it got all used up so we don't know what people are talking about and then the one to the north is being ripped out now I said that a few days ago and it's still going on but yeah the one to the South is being inundated with people in the top side and they're getting annhialated. To him that we need to secure the place make sure it stays hours and with a lot of troops so we're going to do that may as well even you put up a wall the surprise there isn't one and that'll attract a whole bunch of people so we're going to do that now

Some other shattered of them are hours and people are saying they're not like in Brazil I didn't say the northern was ours I said it's emptying and they're not refilling it because they aren't but we did kick the lawn out in Norway Denmark Sweden and they'll be empty tonight and in Europe it's empty slowly me too emptying the two South Atlantic and they might not refill the same with the Pacific four then the one near the UK is emptying all the time and refilling. A lot of Max depart shatteredome and head towards UK and put it in there it's a water Castle it's a water cavern and their watertight but you have to treat it and coat it and the stuff stinks but they do it anyways since gigantic cavern it's like 100 miles deep and 500 miles wide tons and tons of Jager and robots are in there they heard the message too so they're trying to go to the bottom it's a huge fight now.

California shatteredome is emptying yes it's going to the Gulf the same will happen with the North and South Pacific and even the North and South Atlantic it's going to be a long haul here they are trying to refill it over and over he says no way North Atlantic empties I mean North Pacific empty sorry an empty out Utah California send me out there the South Atlanta Pacific will try and refill Utah and then maybe other areas too the golf and the east

We agree with you and they're going to try and pull from foreign areas too let's put this together cuz he's got an idea you only needs a brief window and he can fly out early if you have to buy one of our fly cars

Thor Freya

[sfgooglebooks]

Misspelled: Trippingly off the Tongue by Lesley D. Livingston, pages 6-7, 9, 10-11, 12, 14, 15-16

"Here. I've been working on this. A pinch of powder up the left nostril ought to do," he said as he poured from a thin, blown-glass vial into the palm of Mickey's hand.

Mickey sighed and, pinching her right nostril shut, snorted the sparkly purple crystals, trying hard not to sneeze as she felt the tingly snap of synapses rearranging themselves ever so slightly deep within the vault of her skull. "Huzzah," she cheered blandly, eyeing the demon with mixed skepticism and gratitude. "I'm cured."

"Oops."

"'Oops'?" Mickey asked warily. "What 'oops'?"

Vinx looked like he was trying really hard not to bust out laughing again. "When you said 'cured,' just now, you meant 'like bacon.'"

"I did not."

"Did. And that is, in fact, a homonym." He popped the cork on the vial again. Did I say left nostril or right?"

"You said 'left.'"

"As in 'I left a package at the door.'" The demon pointed at the novice spell-slinger with moderate triumph. "See? You're speaking in homonyms. I should have said 'right.'"

Mickey ground her teeth and snorted purple crystals again. "As in - I'm gonna tear your head right off if this doesn't work?"

"Ah - see!" Vinx slapped his massive palms together, beaming benevolently at his fellow student. "All better!"

"Lucky for you."

"Now. Where were we?"

"Still stuck in a  cave..." Mick grumbled, now thoroughly mired in ill-humor.

______________________________________

"This project is, after all, the kind of casting you're fond of - a protection spell to ward against the blackest of sorceries."

"Sure it is," Mickey sighed, surveying the staggering array of toxic and otherwise injurious articles arranged on the table. "Only that it just happens to employ deadly poisons and other noxious substances in the process. Really, I'm tickled." She already decided against all of the assorted weaponry - it wasn't her style. Too much collateral mess. Toxins were just that much tidier, she thought as she unstoppered the clay pot and wrinkled up her nose, sniffing with great caution at the contents. The odor was pungent - sharp and bitter. "Wormwood. Isn't that the stuff in absinthe?"

"Makes the heart grow fonder..." Vinx fluttered his wiry eyelashes.

"That was terrible," Mickey groaned and resealed the pot.

"And the mind go wander..."

"Stop it."

______________________________________

Mickey ran her fingertip along a line of spidery calligraphy on the weathered page of the ancient spellbook. Her eyes were stinging and there was an itchiness in her sinuses that was either an oncoming cold or - and this was probably a good deal more likely - she was allergic to one or more of the ingredients in Vinx's purple whammy-dust. Great. Just what she needed - another distraction. She pushed aside the sense of discomfort and furrowed her brow with renewed concentration. She really hoped she could nail this amulet spell, mostly because if she didn't, there was no way she could pull her sagging grades out of the fire. The Conclave would fail her. And that was not a prospect that rewarded protracted mulling. Mickey scrunched up her nose, snuffled fiercely, increased brow-furrow depth by 10 percent, and calmly asked her demon helpmate to hand her the next candidate ingredient.

______________________________________

"So tell me, Vinx, just what are the proper proportions for-" she translated from the Latin automatically "-Destroying Angel? Sounds delightful. What is that, exactly?"

"What does it look like?"

She lifted the lid and peered inside. A fecund, peaty smell assaulted her nostrils. The box was half full of soil from which sprouted a solitary occupant.

"A mushroom, Vinx?" Mickey said, raising an eyebrow. "An armed and dangerous side dish? I'm terrified. Truly."

"Would you care to test that theory?" Vinx leaned closer, fetid demon breath undisguised by the handful of catmint he'd filched from the stores of herbs and had been munching onn idly.

Mickey blinked, eyes and nasal passages burning. "Uhh... I don't like mushrooms."

______________________________________

Mickey plucked up the branch and placed it in a shallow bronze dish. "Is the circle ready?"

"Drawn from the finest sea salt and bonemeal."

"Why do you always have to make it sound like you're baking cookies when you spell-cast?" Mickey sniffed, her head feeling stuffy.

"Would you rather have me intone gravely and with menace?"

"Uh... no. Actually. Cookies are good." She put the dish down in the center of the circle. The pressure in her sinuses was actually becoming painful. Concentrate, dammit! Mickey admonished herself sternly.

______________________________________

The thing about casting, Mickey always thought, was that to the untrained eye it looked so damned easy. A few ingredients, a couple of muttered phrases, and whammo! - instant spell. Except that everything important that took place in a casting really went on behind the scenes - in the spell-caster's mind and heart. Even in her or his soul for some spells. That was the hard part. The words? They were more of a focus for the power. A lens used to capture the picture. Which was why spell chants could come off as a little... dull. And that was the reason so many sorcerers spoke their spells in Latin. Or ancient Greek or Gaelic. Mickey even knew one hotshot who did all his casting in Toltec - and he was from Winnipeg! Contrarian that she was, Mickey did all of hers in plain ol' English. With really simple rhymes. Because - hey - just 'cause they were the easy part, it didn't mean you couldn't seriously screw them up.

She took a deep breath.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Vinx lean forward.

"Fire burn bright!" she began.

"Flame burn true!" She wished her nose would stop itching.

"Keep me from harm-" Oh, God! Not now- the sound of her sneeze echoed off the cavern roof, and a cloud of sparkly purple danced before her eyes. There was a tingling in her skull, but she pushed on, desperate to finish the chant. "-ashes of you!"

And Vinx burst instantly into flame.

[pandemicperipatetics]

Year in Review: Best of Our Peripatetic Road Trip

We had hoped our travels would help us to get to know the U.S. a bit more, and maybe even stumble upon new places where we might want to spend more time in the future. There is still so much for us to explore, even within the places we visited, but on the one-year anniversary of the start of our travels, this post is about the highlights of our peripatetic year.

CITIES

Best Overall City: Bend (OR)

Deer hanging out in our front yard in Sunriver (where we stayed, 20 mins from Bend)

Most Underrated City: Houston

Most Overrated City: New Orleans

Walking around the French Quarter in early February

Least Favorite City: El Paso (Runner Up: Wichita (KS))

Most Random Town: Marfa (TX) 

Quirkiest City: Missoula (MT)

Best Drivers: Seattle

Worst Drivers: El Paso or Los Angeles

Worst Traffic: Los Angeles (Runner Up: Phoenix)

Best Downtown Parking: Scottsdale

Worst Downtown Parking: Seattle

Cleanest City: Phoenix/Scottsdale

Dirtiest City: Portland

Friendliest People: Portland

Scariest Dogs: El Paso

Most Cautious about COVID-19: Seattle

Least Cautious about COVID-19: Shreveport (LA) (Runner Up: Oklahoma City)

Most Scenic: Bend (Runner Up: Missoula)

We didn’t take many photos of Bend itself, but the stunning Painted Hills were a ~2 hour drive from Bend 

Missoula

Best Access to the Outdoors: Denver (Runners Up: Missoula, Seattle)

Hiking at Red Rocks near Denver

Most History: Montgomery

Nicest State Capitol: Oklahoma City

FOOD & DRINK

Best Overall Vegan/Vegetarian Food: Portland or Los Angeles

The garlic knots at Virtuous Pie were incredible

Most Unexpectedly Good Meal: Sabai Thai (Port Angeles, WA)

Best Tex Mex: Austin (obvi)

Best Brewery Scene: Bend

We were partial to the Ludwig at Deschutes Brewery in Bend

Best Cocktails: Portland (specifically a phenomenal bar called Deadshot)

NATIONAL PARKS

Best National Park: Yellowstone (Runners Up: Glacier, Banff)

Yellowstone

Glacier

Most Underrated National Park: Big Bend (Runner Up: Guadalupe Mountains)

Hiking at Big Bend

Guadalupe Mountains was surprisingly awesome as well!

Least Favorite National Park: Hot Springs (Runner Up: Everglades, but way nicer than Hot Springs)

The best view we could find at Hot Springs

Best National Park Town: Banff (Runners Up: Jackson Hole (WY), Port Angeles (WA))

Least Favorite National Park Town: Packwood, WA (by Mount Rainier)

Best Hike: Grinnell Glacier Trail (Glacier) or Skyline Trail (Mount Rainier) (Runner Up: Teahouses Trail at Banff National Park)

Grinnell Glacier

Wildflowers along the Skyline Trail in September

Best Lakes: Lake Louise & Lake Agnes at Banff (Runner Up: Crater Lake (OR))

Lake Louise

Best Waterfall: Takakkaw Falls (Yoho National Park)

Best Camping: Big Bend (Disclaimer: We only camped at a few places...but they were all pretty awesome)

Most Variety: Yellowstone

Best Wildlife: Yellowstone (Runners Up: Glacier, Rocky Mountain)

Bison in Yellowstone

Highest Elevation: Rocky Mountain

OTHER

Prettiest Drive: From Denver to Jackson Hole or From Yellowstone to Livingston (MT) (Runner Up: Flagstaff to Abilene via Gallup, NM)

Prettiest Non-National Park Hiking: Sedona

Best City Hike: Camelback Mountain in Phoenix

Best Botanical Garden: Phoenix (Runner Up: Denver)

Best Water Experience: Tubing in Missoula (MT)

Best Sand: White Sands National Park (NM)

Best Beach: Rialto Beach (Olympic National Park)

Best Cave (only cave?): Carlsbad Caverns National Park (NM)

Best Island: Bainbridge Island (WA)

Best Pier: Couer d’Alene (ID)

Best Airbnb: Woodstock (GA)

Our cozy living room in Woodstock, GA

[drivelikeaminister]

The Promise and Challenge of Easter

Today I share a powerful poem about Easter from my colleague the Rev. Dr. Hilary Livingston and my reflection.  Thank you Hilary for preaching the good and hard news!

Go Tell My Brothers A poem about Mary Magdalene proclaiming Christ’s resurrection to the other apostles. Some refer to Mary Magdalene as “Apostle to the Apostles” for being the first to tell the news of Christ’s resurrection to the others. Her message was not believed at first: “But these words seemed to them an idle tale…” (Luke 24:11). This poem is based upon a synthesis of the resurrection accounts, but primarily is taken from John 20:11-18. “He said, ‘Go tell my brothers…’” Her breathless voice, still quavering, Words tumbling forth from her lips like water gushing from a spout, too fast and forceful to take in.

Heavy stone rolled away, Empty tomb, Bundled graveclothes, Linen wrappings strewn about, Angelic beings, dazzling in white.

The words tumbled faster, as if dumped from a bucket onto the dry earth In rivers flowing every which way Until hitting a wall, stopping abruptly.

She looked up at their faces, frozen in incredulity. Blank with puzzled bewilderment. Disturbed, Bemused, Feigning interest, Like small children being told a whimsical fairy tale at bedtime. Regrouping, drawing a breath, she repeated,

“He said, ‘Go tell my brothers…’”

As if saying it out loud again would convince them. She knew it wouldn’t. Before she could speak again, Peter raised his hand, halting her, “Mary, you are hysterical, delusional… Such words…such a scene…”

Pulse quickening, heart racing, eyes frantically searching, Desperately seeking some recognition, Some understanding, Yet finding none.

James could not bring himself to look up at her. John simply turned away, shaking his head. With greater clarity and determination, Mustering her last ounce of determination, she spoke,

“He said, ‘Go tell my brothers…’”

“Go home, Mary,” Peter interrupted. “Go home.” “You’re not well. You haven’t slept. None of us have. You and he were close, Especially close. This has been hard on you, On all of us.”

She bit her lip, face flushed and red. Peter’s gaze turned to one of condescending sympathy, “Mary, please don’t misunderstand…It’s just…well… Women are such emotional creatures, you know. We want to believe you, But…”

Mary relented. Questioned. Doubted. Did she not see? Did she not hear?

Her mind flashed back to the garden, The early rays of sun cutting through the cold, grey mist. In her mind’s eye, clearly recalling The damp ground, The pungent spices, The massive stone Now rolled to one side, The cavernous empty grave, The remnants of what was once there. The grief, The confusion, The relief, The wonder, The joy, The sound of her own name.

“Mary,” he said. Her eyes ablaze with wonder. Her hands trembling, Clinging to him for dear life, Lest he slip away from her into the mist. “Do not hold onto me, Mary…” Hands still clinging, her gaze met his, Wordless, with loving affirmation, As if to say, It’s okay, Mary. You can do this.” Releasing her grip on him,

He said, “Go tell my brothers.”

- Rev. Dr. Hilary Livingston

_______________________________________________________

It’s Easter!  A time of celebration, of hope and life, a time of mystery and wonder, of light and peace.  Easter is when we come together with joy and say that good wins over evil.  We stand here and witness the miracle of new sun and chirping birds in the midst of those who have lived before us.  We get together with family and hunt for eggs, symbols and expectations for new life.

So why, then, is Rev. Hilary’s poem not about that celebration, that joy and awe at life winning over heartache and despair?  Because there is still despair and heartache.  Because there is still injustice in our world; there is still injustice in our hearts.  And we need to see the despair and heartache and injustice and pain.  We need to recognize those failings before we are able to work toward new life and redemptive grace.

For women all over the world this is not something new.  For people of color, people who are gay, people who are transgender, people with disabilities, immigrants, refugees... for anyone who has ever been on the edge.... this is not new.  You have a story, your story, your truth.  And you aren’t believed.

From the Gospel of Luke: “Now it was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told this to the apostles.  But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them.”  (Luke 24:11, NRSV).  This was the apostles who didn’t believe, those men who were supposed to be Jesus’s closest followers and strongest allies.  They did not believe the women.  The men did not believe the women.  That is not a new story. In some versions Peter goes to see for himself, in others Thomas needs physical proof.

Oh, the parallels are so painful.  “You say that you were harassed?  Where’s the proof?”  “You say that people treat you differently and even meanly because your skin is dark?  That’s not true, we are in a post racial society.”  “Your inner self is shouting out and screaming that the sex you were born does not match who you are?  It’s a phase and I’m sure you’ll come to accept who you are.”

These statements are only hypothetical in their brevity and infrequency.  Think of when you have been ignored over and over and over.  Or if you are privileged enough to not be able to think of an example, imagine what that would feel like.  This is not new in our culture, and was not new at the time of Jesus’s death.  When the Gospels were written women were not even eligible to testify in a court of law.  Mary knew that she would be questioned and ignored. People now know their truths will be questioned and ignored.

What does this mean for us?  What does it mean on a day of joy and life and celebration?  It means that our work is not done.  It means that the story of Jesus’s death and rise was not just about him and his ministry.  The story of Easter is taking the entire world, the entire human built system and shaking it up and trying as best we can to create the Kingdom of God now, and here.

I am steeped in privilege, from who I am and what I look like.  That is my reality.  My Easter challenge is to step back, to let go of or to give away my privilege.

I don’t need to speak up more, so I’ll end reminded us that there is hope.  There is hope and the message holds true that good can still win over evil.  It just will take more work on our part than having a stone rolled away for us.  We need to roll back the stone ourselves, and some of us need to get out of the way of that stone being rolled.  Easter is challenging, it is hopeful - there is work to be done, love can win.

[vanguard2814]

Fifth time's the charm?

[tristanlovesthequeen]

Son/of/Aragon

Son of Aragon

Episode 1

We find Basels son Sergio on horseback on the path to the brewery. There are moths and pollen in the air, everywhere there is beauty. The world whispers.  

Besel: ��Hello, dear reader, I am Basel the ancient wizard.  I have gone on holiday, away from general wizardry and heroism to stay with my dear friends.  Who are they?  The elven monks who run the brewery Eastvleteran, the namesake of which is also a drink which I helped invent.

(Enter into Basel's chamber where he is working on an illuminated manuscript.  Tic toc tic toc a timer is ticking in the background. The timer dings)!

Basel:  Ahh time for dinner to be cooked.  (Puts rabbit chunks in pot of stew.  Sets aside rabbit skin in a bowl).  That will be for the rabbit skin glue.  We'll let that churn a bit.  Ah yes, now back to my manuscript.  What's the occasion you say?  Behold...(Basel sits at desk, page zooms in on manuscript page.

(In story mode)

Basel:  It all started with an empty amulet.  The amulet was a gift from the elven god Adrifan, god of the ether realm to his love interest, the the high priestess of the celts, Apixa.  Her beauty was reknowned throughout heaven and earth.  She was born of this world from the stamen of a forest flower, fertilized by a sacred spirit, who was rebirthed as a bee on his visit from the heavens.  Her family were the fairies who lived in the woods that encapsulated this forest flower.  The elf found her one day while hunting geese at a nearby pond.  He saw her amongst the tall reeds bathing.  It was love at first sight.  You may wonder what this has to do with anything.  It is an ancient elven secret that the monks have kept.  On every anniversary of the meeting of Adrifan and Apixa, a warrior who is righteous in spirit and will retrieve the amulet from the sacred place, and return it to the elven kingdom for the ceremony of restoration.  The transporters of the heart will receive knighthood in the elven kingdom and the ceremony brings purity back to the elves.

  (Three raps at the door and  Basel answers to find Sergio at the door).  

Basel:  Sergio my boy!  I've been expecting you!  Come right in, you are most welcome.

(Sergio is not the only one looking for Basel.  A demi-vampire has been  following Sergio through the woods in the form of a bat).  

Sergio and Basel sit down to Mugwort tea.  

Sergio:  (Holding cup).  How have you been pop?  

Basel:  (Takes sip).  I'm glad you asked.  It was happenstance that I found myself in Whimzleton at the National Gallery in a meeting with the portraits of the Greats.  While discussing Fair Trade Diamonds, a thief stole a minor work called “Reclining Nude of Grizelda,” done by the late fauvist painter Rees Van Livingston, c. 1905.  He was attacked by a museum guard with a billyclub, poor boy, and as he fell, he ripped right through the canvas face first.  This, of course, was in front of the fair trade diamond protest of the gnomes of the North, which is why I was there in the first place. The leader of the protest started to shout on his blowhorn, which aggrivated the guard.  People started to argue which was disrupting my meeting, and, before a riot could assue, I cast a spell to freeze time.  I cast another spell that healed the thief, flawlessly stitched the painting, and wiped the memories of the crowd.  When the authorities arrived, everyone was very confused as to why the thief was carrying the painting through the museum in the first place, casually observing the main hall.  He was arrested on the spot and the painting was returned to the museum, an amalgam of errors easily removed.

Stake:  (Arrives at window as a bat). Screech Screech!

Basel:  (Noticing window). Stake!  Show your true form my lad, you could have given an old wizard like me a cardiac arrest!  Not that I would succumb to such candor.  (Opens door).

(The bat turns into his elf-like form).

Basel:  Ah good, just in time for supper.  Stake, would you come in?

Stake:  I thought you'd never ask.  

Basel:  (Takes sip from ladle over stove).  Please sit, the rabbit stew is ready.  (Places a bowl of stew in front of Sergio and one in front of Stake with a spoon.  Sergio begins to slurp).

Sergio:  How do you two know each other?

Basel:  Stake is a knight here on elven territory.

Sergio:  Then why was he...(motions toward window).

Stake:  I am also part vampire.  I'd say, half elf, half vampire. Dema-elf.  After all my years as a knight, I have been assigned this year to retrieve the sacred amulet due to my condition as a vampire. After the way my wife and I were transformed, the elven society believes my life to be unhealthy.  The constant blood lust is the source of constant ridicule for my fellow knights, however shallow it may be.  So I have come to find you, Sergio, to accompany me on this quest.

Basel:  The high priestess has given me a wind chime that enchants the spirit, allows one to see the location of the amulet, the prize gift from the warrior spirit.  I will be your guide.

Sergio:  Wait what?  I was eating soup.  

Basel:  I said you're going on this trip, it will be a great diservice to everyone if--

Sergio:  Relax, I heard you the first time.  Why me?

Stake:  Given your superior strengths as a wizard--

Sergio:  Yeah, I got ya, very powerful mage, yadda yadda, when do we leave?

(They set off on their journey  Sergio on a giant lion.  Stake is a bat.  First location is the forest.  They travel along the coast and stop for the night).

Stake:  Let's stop for the night, we'll resume tomorrow.  

Sergio:  Oh you mean we'll be alive tomorrow?  Super.

Stake:  Mmmaybe.  I will.  You might not make it.

(Stake and Sergio set up camp and Stake start to read by the fire).

Sergio:  (In a thought bubble).  Sometimes I start to read and realize the words are about me.  Take for example, this part of the book.  This actually happened to me.  I must be famous or something.

(In the text)  There was one time when I tried to get Satan Himself to help stop my pop from controlling Earth realm.  He was offended. And when Satan is offended, all hell breaks loose, literally.

(Sergio hides behind a 1968 Pontiac GTO waiting to attack.  Bullets fly over him.  He is in Hell.  Hell looks like a cavern underneath the earth.  He pops up and shoots flame from his hands at his attacker who is Satan.  

Satan leaps into the air with a tommy gun narrowly avoiding Sergio's attack.  He lands in a drop kick knocking Sergio flat.

Sergio kip ups and one of Satan's minions tries to run him over in an El Dorado Super Sport.  Sergio back flips over the car and it t-bones into the shelled out GTO.  The minion is dead, smashed through the glass, on the hood.

Sergio:  Just come with me politely and I won't fry you to a crisp.

Satan:  What am I a cuck, Sergee?  How long have I known thee?

The devil spins into the air letting out a spiral of bullets.

Serge leaps under the devil, grabs his legs and slams him into the hood of the GTO with a cold shoulder.  

Satan: Yowee!!

Sergio:  You goddamn snake!  Keep off me!

(They roll off the hood of the car and the devil gun butts Sergio's jaw.  Serge puts his two hands to the devil's gut and torches him up into the air.  Faroosh!  Cut to devil's face, it says radio edit over his mouth like a type writer.  Devil lands on his feet with a crunch! It cracks the ground).  

Satan:  You think you can contain me?  I am the devil!

Serge snaps his fingers and a diver's cage drops on the devil.  

Satan:  Daww. (Slumps in cage) So anyways... (walks out of cage through front door).  May I offer you a cigar?  (Take out couple of cigars).

Sergio:  Naw I don't smoke.  Spits.  Wipes mouth.

Satan:  If you say you don't.  What is it that you want me to do Sergio?  (Checks scratch on arm).  

Sergio:  It's my Dad, he's attempting to take over Earth realm again.  I need--

Satan: Eh, you want.

Sergio: I want you to come serve him up a slice of devil's pie.

Satan:  With you?  Please, Sergee, what a bum you're being.  Who am I with?  I live in hell!  I'm the guy that never leaves, y'know Prince of Darkness, has wife, grandkids, little brats, minions, y'know the whole shebang.  What do I care what goes on on Earth?  I live in the immortal afterrealm.  You're threatening my whole way of being, here.

Sergio:  Don't be a dipshit.  The more deaths there are on earth caused on Earth by my father, the larger his undead army will become, his army will become stronger while your army diminishes.

Satan:  What has he lost his shit again?  In other words hell on earth.  Look kid, I'm already slaying princess Leia, my army of minions is well established and only really comes in handy when fighting against the heavens.  Hell on Earth?  Let those guys deal with it (points upward)

Sergio:  Forget I even asked.  Thanks for the fight.

Stake:  (In a thought bubble).  I have on occasion, dealt with the devil, and like all full blooded vampires, he only cares for himself.  

Sergio:  (In a thought bubble).  Can't say I care for him.   (Voice bubble) One thing I have been meaning to ask you, can't believe I didn't get around to it sooner, you're a daywalker right?  (Lays back on Leo).

Stake:  Correct.  I would consider myself half elf.  That is elven born.  It is for this reason that I haven't completely been overcome by vampire desires.  (Fades to dream)  In 1869 I was to be married to an elven princess.  Her beauty was unparalleled.   We were madly in love and would often take trysts in the forest where we would... shag about.  I was to travel off to war with the elven army, the king had made plans with the gnomes to sell one thousand pieces of elven chain mail and they had scoffed at his offer, saying gnomish grade metal would suffice.  On top of that a gnome had seduced an elvish chambermaid during his stay at a hospital on our land.  Needless to say, a victorian era elven king is not the most easygoing person hood, and in the face of the gnomes' offense, he called for a draconian response.  Before we set off, and before she could pout, I asked her to be my bride.  She said yes!  I was so enthusiastic I asked for the royal hall to throw a ball after the wedding ceremony. That night, as my wife lay awake in anticipation.

Vive:  I desire, half crack!  A vampire in the form of a bat sat outside her window.  

Vampire:  Dear little, wife, how my soul aches for thee.  It is I, Pavel, ahem I mean Stake, wouldn't you care to see me before the wedding.  I can give you what you desire...

Vive:  No you can't! (crosses arms and starts to pout)

(Door starts to open with a creak)

SERGIO:  Wait, what?  A vampire, that seems a tad bit random.  

STAKE:  Almost.  In a battle with Aragon's army, I had decapitated a warrior king.  I later found out that with a few stitches and Aragon's magic he had been ressurected as a vampire-drago, vampire of dragon blood.  From then on he had been stalking us, I had felt evil eyes watching from afar, feeling his cries that he would someday come for my bride.

SERGIO:  Devilish.  So she turned into a vampire?

STAKE:  Yesssss.  Unfortunately the bite on her neck is not all he left with.  (Stake looks down and tears start to fall from his wincing face).  I still recognized her as my bride as did the royal court and that night we attended the royal ball although shaken by the events prior to the wedding.  She seemed faint and not all there. Frowns were upon us.  

Ball attendee 1:  She was raped (Turns back to wife)

Ball attendee 2:  She sees someone else (Turns back to husband)

Ball attendee 3:  You gave her to him.  He impaled her mouth with his--

(Stake and Vive hand in hand start to frown)

(Focus on their hands clasped, they start to squeeze)

Stake: She whispered to me...

Vive:  You are my fate, live with me forevermore as my sex slave, and I will seduce you every night.  We will make deep passionate love in every sect of our chambers.  I want you in between my thighsss...”

Stake:  How was I to live without my beautiful wife, as vampirellic as she was, and with that we kissed as she sunk her teeth into my tongue.  (DREAM SEQUENCE ENDS)

SERGIO:  What happened to the vampire that turned her?

STAKE:  I still feel his taunts, he is seldomly ever seen or heard from, especially not in the elven kingdom and as a vampire I feel akin to him in some ways which makes it impossible to kill him.

SERGIO:  So why seek the amulet?

STAKE:  It will cure my bloodlust and that of my wife.  The elves still ridicule me even though it is under their breath.  Once worn one is immediately cured from that which guilts him.  Only those who know it's true location can don it, and it is said to bring euphoria to those who wear it, which might make it difficult to take off.

SERGIO:  Sounds interesting.  Well I'm feeling glum.  Time for me nap.

(Dream Sequence)

(Sergio sees Aragon at his crystal ball.  A  covered with hands appears and it is Basel ringing the windchime.  He turns.

Basel:  Sergio my dear boy!  So glad I have found you.  (Dog barks). Down girl down!  Good girl.  You deserve a treat.  The ring of the windchime is leading us out of the forest to the city of Yarx.  You and Stake should have no trouble finding it if you continue east. Watch for the temple in the midst of the forest.

Crystal ball starts to crack and Aragon's eyes roll back as he faints.  Dream fades and it is dawn.  Serge yawns and stretches.   He is propped on Leo.  She opens one eye and goes back to sleep.  He has been riding the lion since he was a boy and they have a deep bond. Whatever happens to the lion in essence happens to Sergio.  Stake is still asleep.  He farts.  There is a raccoon corpse next to him drained from the night before.  A nightingale lands on his napsack and starts to sing green sleeves.  He hisses and snatches at it with his eyes closed and it flies away.  He is awake.  Serge throws some beans and eggs on the griddle atop the fire.))

Serge:  Want some?

Stake:  Yes'm.

Serge:  Basel contacted me in a dream.  We're to head east to Yarx.

((Cut to scene of tavelling through jungle.  Sergio is on the lion, Stake is flying as a bat.  We're going on a lion hunt.  Trudge, trudge, trudge. ��A hidden temple!  Can't go under it.  Trudge, trudge, trudge.  Can't go through it.  Trudge, trudge, trudge.  Gotta go over it!  Trudge.  They hike up the temple steps into the throne room.  It is made of stone with torches alight along the walls. There are one million bananas in a pile against the back wall.))

Tiger:  Roarr!  ((A tiger runs out at them and the lion leaps in front of her bucking Sergio onto the ground.  They get up into each other's personal spaces and grapple.  RAWOORAWOO!  A banana salesman boomerangs a banana at the tiger.

Banana salesman:  Now Catsy!  That's not how we treat our new guests!  (Wearing underwear.  Pets Catsy under jaw as she purrs.) I've been in this temple hoarding bananas.  It is how I gain my bride.  Do you know how long it takes to hoard a million bananas? Speak!

Serge:  Can't say.

Banana Salesman:  (Putting on overalls) Not that long actually.  You see they're everywhere.  Me and Catsy here maintain the stock.  What brings you to the jungle?

Sergio:  We're on our way to Yarx coming from an elven monastery. This is the only way through.  I'm Sergio, this is Stake.

Banana salesman:  How about the cat?

Sergio:  The lion's name is Castle.

Banana salesman:  My name is True.  I'm actually on my way to Yarx. I've got a big rig.  If you help me load the bananas I'd be more than happy to take you the rest of the way.  (Stake and Serge look at each other and shrug.)

True:  Load em up!! (True has created an incredible machine to load the bananas.  Serge pops a balloon with a force wave.  A feather escapes and tickles the toes of a sleeping nymph.  She laughs and sits up hitting her heard on a platform.  A can of beans rolls off and falls into a glass.  The platform sinks and releases a machete that swings cutting the rope of a catapult that sends a nymph in a helmet flying over with a parachute and a blowhorn

Nymph:  Move em out cows go go go!

(They are frightened and start galloping off.  They are tied to a net containing a gigantic load of bananas.  They split up and the bananas are hoisted onto the back of the big rig.  Another nymph closes the pull down and locks the back. True ends with a glass of milk.  Aaahhh.  Serge and Stake look at each other and high five.)

Episode 4

(Serge has fallen asleep in the cockpit of the vehicle.  He begins to dream.  Drream sequence begins)  Basel is on a fixed gear. He stops to do a trackstand.  Does tailspin hopping over handlebars and lands in a trackstand.  He begins to ride.  He is dressed in full messenger attire.  

Basel:  Hey Serge, I hear you're gonna be in Yarx, hit me up dude! I've got a document here for you that I''ve delivered to Merril's, it's an old stationary store that we used to rack from.  It's a right of passage that you will need to get you to the Amulet of the Sacred Heart.  I'll explain more later.  Toodles, I gotta get tatted after my next run.

Serge awakens and True has arrived at a small shack where he is selling off the load of bananas to a business owner.  He climbs to the top of the truck and opens the back letting the bananas slide all over the ground.

True:  Enjoy! (He says with a smile.  He hops back in the truck.) Hey thanks again for coming with.  I have one small errand to run.

Stake:  Which isss?

True:  To find my wife.  

The Legend Of ETF (Truck drives into the distance)

Stake:  Mind if we come with?

True:  Not at all.  I could use the company actually, she stays with a graffiti crew whose name is  ETF, they have a mission for my wife to do before we get married...at least I say she's my wife.

(We find ETF inside of a dingy old apartment with high ceilings. The room is reminiscent of an old drug den, cluttered yet fancy, and covered in tags. There are five people, one standing.  We hear the door ring.)

True:  BUZZUP!  Hey can I come up?

Spake:  Yea that's chill, come on up! (Hand on buzzer)

(Oner turns to leave)  Yo I gotta leave theres peopl--

Spake:  It's chill.  

This is Big Lug, he is the leader of the team.  Big Lug is using a 3d computer that surrounds the room.  He is using scarlet sage which provides him with a brain chemical that allows him to control his virtual realm in cyber space.  

Serge, Stake, and True enter the room.  

Big Lug:  True!  Buddy, long time no see!  How long has it been?

True:  About three months

Big Lug:  Naw man, it's been a year!  Don't worry, we've been waiting for you (Sniff's fingers)  Here smell that?  (Puts fingers in front of True's nose, he refuses.)  It's your wife's butthole, don't worry we've been keeping her safe, well, I have.

True:  You make me want to vomit.  

Big Lug:  I'm just messing with you man.  You know it's all love. Now come here.

(True receives bearhug from Big Lug)  True:  Can't breathe.

(From corner of the room)  Guy with teddy bear aka Spake:  I've been so lonely.

Big Lug:  I'll give you a squeeze.

Spake:  I'd rather vomit.  

Guernica:  I hear this little voice.

Toubolde:  You sure you're alright?  I mean maybe you should take your meds.  (To Big Lug).  Man he's depressive.  Shyaa!  We all hear voices!

True:  So what's the plan?  I sold the bananas and made a mint!  I could live off this for the rest of my life.

Big Lug:  So the plan is to do a hangover.  I mean hang off.  Sorry the scarlet sage tends to have its effect.

True:  Doesn't the fall cause us to, um, die?

Big Lug:  I've created a program that allows the user to create three dimensional holograms that transpose upon any outdoor surface in the natural realm.  Of course it will be seen in public, but nevertheless nothing illegal.  And yet illegal (stares off into space).

(In a bubble)

Big lug:  There are two ways into the application.  The old fashioned way, which I use, might hurt your head.  The other way is to use a VR helmet.  To each his own.

(A Safari van is flanked by two vespas.  They are going Straight to L.A.  To the heavens...)

Rivera, Toubolde, Big Lug, Spake, True, Stake, and Sergio are crouched on a grassy embankment on the side of the freeway in L.A..

(Cats purr).  

Deb:  Hey guys I'm here!  Can I help?  I brought cans.

True:  Thank the lord!  (gives her a big hug)  

Sergio:  Well, I thought about it, I could climb up that pipe, cut the razor wire.  shimmy over to the far left above oncoming traffic while the wind billows me around.  Or I could just point and click (Snap!  Snaps his fingers.  And a funky hologram that reads “Sergio” appears on the back of the freeway sign.  I'll watch, you write. Maybe take flicks (hands in shape of camera).

As a team they climb like gorillas up the freeway sign's column.  

Rivera:  We're about to f*ck this sh*t up

Toubolde:  Be the cockiest you can be on this sign.

Big lug:  Be careful.

True:  I feel vomit coming up.

Deb:  This is a humdinger.

(They are all on the freeway sign facing camera as the platform begins to wobble.  Focus on Deb and True *his outfit looks like Tie's she's his twin)  

Deb:  Here, my love, man up, spray safe.  Soon I'll be your bride.

(They all do pieces, they go big.  They shimmy back down and the reader has a look at their pieces, they appear holographic, slightly blurry.  They all climb a ladder over the freeway wall to a tree, working their way down the limbs to a small drop.  As soon as they land they see police lights flash and hear a Bloooop!)

Police:  (Over loudspeaker)  Hold it right there!

Rivera:  Vamanos!

(The team jets to the Safari van losing the police temporarily. They all pile in.  The van squeals off as do the vespas.  The team dumps their bags from the moving vehicle.  They turn a corner and cop lights flash.  Five police vehicles are now on the team's tail.  The engines rev and the police start to overtake the vehicle, a dark shadow followed by a low hum. )

True: What's that noise?

There is an aircraft floating above the speeding cars.  

Aircraft:  Calling all cars, calling all cars, stand down immediately from the high speed chase.  Do you read, this is the chief of police, Bob Barx of the Yarx police department, I've got a team with me, we'll take it from here.

(Sirens go silent and police cars slow to a stop)

Deb:  Shiiiiiiit!

Big Lug:  Looks like we got a fun run.  (Big grin, steps on gas)

They hear a rumbling and the vehicle starts to shake.  The car illuminates.  We see a beam of light coming from over head from the ship.  It seems the aircraft is actually a U.F.O.  The beam abducts the safari and the vespas.  The team is now inside the ship.  

Loudspeaker:  Hey, are you guys alright?  Come into the cockpit, we would love to meet you.  

Spake:  Okayyy?!

Everyone makes their way into the cockpit where there are two extraterrestrials sitting smoking scarlet sage.  They turn from the window which looks at the stars.  

Alien:  (Inhales, holds breath)  Hi. (Exhales deeply).  I'm Hans, this is Alfredo.

Alfredo:  Ciao. (Sips espresso with pinky out)

Hans:  Welcome to the brotherhood (says with smile) we saw what you did back there, takes gusto, how exactly, how, did that come into fruition?

Deb:  Well see, I'm due to be married to Truesy here, so for a final bow, we decided to do this Heaven in L.A.  Holographic style!

True:  That was a rush, I see what you guys live for.  Kiss me sweetie.  (Puckers up)

Deb:  Ah, ah, ah, not in front of the gang!

Hans:  We are graff writers too.

Spake:  Oh yea, (chuckle) what do you two write?

Hans:  I write Hans.

Alfredo:  And I write Alfredo.

Spake:  Uh. Cool.

Rivera:  Not to be an earwig, but what's the plan?

Hans:  Oh we'll come out of orbit in a sec.  One full revolution which will take about 3.5 seconds and we'll land back in Yarx.

Big Lug:  Just in time for you two to be married.  (Smiles as he chews eclaire).

(UFO lands back in Yarx in someones backyard.  Family is confused. Cut to True and his wife Deb in the back of the banana truck making love below a banner that reads “just married.”)

Episode 5  

(Sergio and Stake are eating ramen in Yarx, at a corner bar.  The Lion is outside.  They have their own glasses of a potent steaming potion.  

Sergio:  (Sips) Have to get that right of passage

Stake:  Got that right.  (Sip)

Sergio:  Check!  (Put one hand up)

(Cut to Sergio walking with lion.  Stake is a bat.  As they walk strangers thought bubbles direct them)

Stranger 1:  (Face covered in 9's) The right you seek.

Stranger 2:  Is in a cup..

Stranger 3:  At the bottom of a well.

Sergio:  (Pulls out map of Yarx) Let's have a look see.  (They are a blip on the map).  There's a well here near the sewage containment facility...or there's one here in the castle yard of this castle. (Looks at map, reads Gronkagel).  I detect castle guard (Points to blip on map.)  It's a balrog.  I figure it's the one with the balrog.

(Scenes of travel, the life is colorful, homeless, street hustlers, restaurants, basic city scene.   The scene changes to the country side, life slows down.  Eventually they reach a tall hill on which the castle Gronkagel lies.  They begin their hike.  They reach a wall with a tall door).

Sergio:  Hey Balrog!  Balrooooog!  Hm. No sign of him.  I guess we play the breaking and entering game.  

 (Sergio points to the top of the wall and Stake flies up and over. First a rumble then a creak.  Doors open and Stake stands.  Sergio enters.  As soon as he enters three palace guards come to greet him.)

Castle guards:  (In unison)  Welcome to castle Gronkagel, where the Gronk! (Bonks Stake and then Sergio with a spear) Comes first.  You have been knighted!

Stake:  Ssss! (rubs head)  you're god awful but I accept.

Sergio:  Yea, me too.  Say, what is there to do here in Castle Tintag- I mean Gronkagel?

Castle guards:  (In unison)  We have a well, and a tower that oversees the land.

Sergio:  Take us to the we--

Stake:  (Overlapping Sergio) to the tower!    

Sergio:  I mean to the tower.  That would be very nice.

Castle guards:  (In unison)  Very well.  (They turn and start to leave the castle.)

(All five start to climb the tower stairs).

Castle guards:  As you can see--

Stake:  So anyways (Throws castle guard off  ledge)

Sergio: (Knocks castle down with lightning bolt).

Castle guards:  Would you look at that?  Better go check on the Bal-

Sergio:  Have another taste of lightning!

(Serge knocks them into a pile with bolt of lightning).

Stake:  Oh suck my cock!  What about the Balrog?

(Balrog gets up from pile of rubble)

Balrog:  So much for my nap.  Feel like I hit me head.

Sergio:  (From tower)  Lightning bolt!  Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! (Shoots three to Balrogs chest)

Balrog:  Ow, oh bullocks!  Let me guess you came for the write of passage?  Well if you want it that much come 'ere then.  I'll lower you into the well.

Stake:  Oh yea right! (In a yell)

(Serge and Stake approach pile of rubble)  

Balrog:  (Takes flight)  I mean come 'ere!

Sergio:  Oh I see by here, he means come to us (under his breath).   Attack!

Stake:  (Pulls out dagger )  

Sergio:   You're never gonna get anywhere with that!  (Pulls out dagger.  Jumps at his neck and Slam!  The balrog slams him into the tower floor.

Stake:  (Jumps onto the balrogs neck and with his cape makes him blind.)  Please hold.

Balrog:  (Takes flight).  

Stake:  Let's go for a ride!  (Balrog throws him off)

Sergio:  Long jumps onto his neck attempting to strangle balrog with a whip.  

Balrog:  (Falls into a swamp in the forest.  Balrog is out cold.)

Sergio:  So much for balrog.   (Pulls out map.  Blip turns gold)

(Sergio and Stake walk through the rubble).

Sergio:  Go down

Stake:  Kay

(Stake turns into a bat and flies into the well.  He nosedives into the water, sees a sewer rat, and winks.  Finds chest because of it's glow, and brings it up over the well wall.  Sergio makes finger into a key and slides into lock.  He opens chest and inside finds a cup. Inside is the writ of passage.  It glows.)

Basel:  You've got the writ!  Cheers to you!  (Takes a sip of beer.) Now for a pint of Eastvleteran.  The best beer in the world.  My fellow monks and I brew this stuff.  It is highly rated and always sells out, gets better with age, we know from experience.  A word of advice for whenever the fear hits, no one rules the world so until then fight for your breath.  By the way, what does it say?  Points to the writ and takes note.  Smiles.(Scene ends).  

Stake:  Hey can we go to Dragonvild, my wife is there, I thought she might like to meet up for an exchange...there be dragoooons.  

Sergio:  Down for whatever, as long as it's on the way.  I'll ask Basel the next time I sleep. (Hops on Leo Stake is a bat, they take off in a dynamic closeup from the side.)

Episode 6

(At camp at night.  Sergio is about to pass out, Stake is awake.  Sergio is resting on Leo.  Stake looks at a small heart locket.  The picture is of his wife, she winks and smooches.  He smiles adoringly.  She then picks up a small rat, and drains it's blood with her fangs. Stake does the same thing.  The rat squirms and then goes limp. Sergio looks at him with his eyebrow raised.  Stake tosses the rat aside and pours himself a glass of wine, then pours Sergio one. Stakes wife drinks wine in the picture frame.  Some drizzles down her cheek.

Sergio:  Ooh, thiz wine izz ztrong.  (Passes out).

(Basel appears in a spiral in Sergio's dream.  He has a baby pet dragon.  He is feeding him an omelet).  

Basel:  Hello my boy!  It seems you are on your way to Dragonvild, where you will enjoy food, drink, and many a dragon like this little tired tyke.  (Feeds him omelet).  The whole town is dedicated to dragon preservation, hence the ancient architecture *reminiscent of gaudi* and abundance of gold.  Keep in mind Stake is a sex slave to his wife so they will be in bed almost the whole time.  So build capital while you are there.  I suggest you join the dragon racing league, with your experience riding dragons as a child you should be a shoo-in.  So shoo!

(Leo stirs, awakening Sergio.  As usual, the fire is out, Stake is asleep amongst a pile of dead rats.  Sergio opens a can of beans and puts some steak and eggs on the griddle).  

(The scent drifts into Stake's nostrils Snif! Followed by Sss! He's awake.)

Stake:  Can I have some?

Sergio:  Nah, can't.  (Serves him up a dish)

Stake:  If you say I can.

(A small gnome comes and sits by the fire.)  

Small gnome:  Mah!

(Stake serves up some eggs on a plate to the gnome and licks his teeth with a smile.  Travel scene through the forest.  As usual Stake is a bat.  They approach the town on a hillside.  The scene overlooks the town.  When they arrive at the gates, they are greeted by butterflies.  Serge approaches a dragon rental.  Stake goes to find his wife.  There are several dragons in disrepair in a pen and one handsome stud.)

Sergio:  Hey there, how much for this handsome stud?

Clerk:  Actually that one is a girl.

(Leo purrs).

Clerk:  She'll cost you approximately 15 quid a day plus tax. You're already insured with the umbrella insurance, but you won't need it.  That one there knows what she's doing.  (Points and winks). We'll include a manual on how to feed her, a leash, and a saddle. She's very friendly.  She eats mostly fruit that is native to the land.  Any experience handling or riding dragons?

Sergio:  Yes when I was very young until I was a teen.

Clerk:  Then this will come naturally to you.  She regularly races in the minor dragon racing league but this is her off season.  So don't you dare race her or it'll be your head.

Sergio:  (Smiles).  I wouldn't dream of it.  (Puts fifteen coin down on the table.  One of them spins).

(Stake is walking along a cobblestone street.  He is alone.  He arrives at his wife's residence.  It is a tall Gaudi-esque villa.  The placard near the door reads “Chateau d'omnivore.” He rings the doorbell, which sounds like a screech.  The door opens and a woman's arm reaches out and pulls him in.  He has one dozen roses behind his back.  The door shuts.  His wife stands before him, one arm up and one arm down in a long dress).

Stakes wife (Vive):  Here I am!

Stake:  I haven't seen you in a long time.  I got these for you. (Hand is out with bouquet).

Vive: (Takes bouquet smiles with greedy eyes then throws them behind her. She goes in to kiss his neck and puts a hand on his crotch.

Stake: (Looks calm and bashful as she kisses his neck)  Oh how I've missed you.

Vive: (Takes his hand)  Come to the bedroom, I've got a lot to show you.

(Back to Sergio)

(Sergio stands in front of a banner that reads “Dragon Racing Major League Tryouts Today.”)

Clerk of the course:  Alright, you've made the cut.  What's your dragon's name?  

Sergio:  T

Clerk of the course: Well then we'll see you and T next day of the Sun.  Be prepared because the Marauders from the middle east are coming to town.

(Back to Stake)

(Stake and Vive are making love in a bed that looks like it belongs in a castle.  She orgasms.)

Vive:  “Ooooohhhhh!”  (We see her “O” face) I'm cuming, hard!

Stake:  Me too, my love.  

(She leans in to kiss his mouth).

Vive:  I've missed your sperm.

(Stake and Vive cuddle in each other's arms).

Vive:  I've got new stationary.  It's cool I'll write you a note.

Stake:  I'd like to read it sometime.  Perhaps I need to check on Sergio and his dragon quest.  

Vive:  I'll strangle you if you do.

(Stake smiles).  Mmhmm, sure you will.

Vive:  Or maybe I'll write Pavel a note.  You know, just to apologize.  

Stake:  Mmhmm, sure you do.

Vive:  So how did you like our rape?

Stake:  Well, I sure did have fun raping the girl from the ville--

Vive:  Maybe I'll rape the bard, he plays guitar.  In fact I already did.  He has a humongous-- (bites her lip)

Stake:  Eh, no.  That was just his fantasy.  Let it all be a dream.

Vive:  I'd rape you.

Stake:  No, we'd make love.

Vive:  Like we just did.  I need a snack.

Stake:  I'll fix you one.  Fruit, with a cup of.

Vive:  Dragon blood.

Stake:  K.  Be back in 5.

(Cut to Sergio.  He is in a field with a dragon.  In the distance a stranger who is female plays fetch with her dragon using a large bone).  

(Leo rubs against Sergio and runs to catch a field mouse).

Sergio:  Ok, T, to win this race we're gonna need a little cooperation.  (Tries to mount her.  She roars and spits a ball of flame).  Okay really, I cannot.

The dragon from across the way runs into their camp and catches a bone knocking into Touloula.  They flit).  

Girl from dragon camp:  Hey over there!  I apologize for my dragon. Having trouble with yours?  Here's what you do.  Take the tip of your finger and prick it then place a drop of your blood in the dragon's eye.  See what happens! (She winks and takes bone from dragon).

(Sergio frowns.  Takes out knife from sheath and pricks finger.  He calmly takes Touloula's bridle and squeezes a drop of blood into her eye.  Her pupil dialates all black then it squeezes back to a slender half crescent.

T:  Mango.

Sergio:  You want a mango?  

T:  Yess pleasse.  I will be your mizztrezz.

Sergio:  Hey now, slow down.  I'll go find you some fruit.  How bout an apple?  

T:  I'd prefer a Mango.  (Burps a flame).  It helps me concentrate.

(Leo comes over with a mango in her mouth, and drops the mango at his feet.  Then goes to play with field mouse.

Girl From dragoncamp:  Here boy! (Tosses bone).

Sergio:  Okay, let's see what you can do.  T, go get it!  (Throws mango into the air, and without a moments notice T leaps into flight and chomps at the mango.  T lands on ground softly.  Whump!  Girl from dragon camp claps).  Good job, T!

(Back to Vive's bedroom).

Freshening up in mirror in bathrobe.  

Vive:  Oooh my fangs are so sharp.  Ladadee, ladada.  (Spritzes perfume on neck).  We see a bat at the window sill.  Then two.  (Vive sees in the mirror over her shoulder, then drops perfume.  The perfume breaks.  Smash)!  

(More bats fly to the balcony rail.  There are now ten).  

Vive: (In shock).  Gasp!

Two bats turn into vampires on the balcony

Vive:  Pavel!

Pavel:  Steal your gold...WIFE!  (Smashes door with cane).

Stake:  (Bursts through the door.  He is nude.  He drops the tray and wine).

Vive:  (Grabs dagger from the dresser).

Stake:  (Runs in front of Vive).  (To her):  Stay back! (Equips cane and draws a fiery blade).  Stay away from me!

Pavel:  Hisss!  

(The bats on the window sill leave in a flurry.)  Scurry!

Stake:  (To Vive):  Go to the other room!  I'll handle them.

Vive:  We'll fight them...(Dagger turns into a torch)  Together.

Pavel:  Come, now my dear, don't do anything too hasty.  

Vive:  Die!  (She jumps through the air dagger in hand).

Pavel:  (Sidesteps.  Crack! He uses the handle of his blade to hit the base of her neck).

Vive:  (Winces and cries in pain).

Stake:  Vive!  (He lunges and catches Pavel on the arm with his blade).  Yaaah!

Pavel:  (Holding arm).  Kisssss your wife...GOODBYE!  (Throws high kick which Stake guards).

Stake:  Knees Pavel in the groin.

Vampire 2:  (Grabs Vive and holds her unconscious body underneath her arms.  He has a knife to her neck).  Stay back!  I'll kill her if you move.

Stake:  You wouldn't.  

Vampire 2:  I will too!  Try me!  (Presses blade to her neck).

Pavel:  Stake, she's not your wife.  She's a vampire now, not an elf.  You would be too if you started acting like one.  We'll hold on to this one until you get your act together.  This is for the time oh I dunno, you cut off my head?  Oh, and do bring me the amulet, it is also oursss!  Meet us at Chateau d'Ormsby by 5, the day you were wed.

(Vampire 2 backs up onto the balcony with Vive.  Eight vampire bats lift Vive by the arms and carry her from the balcony.  They all leave in a flurry).

Vampires:  She's our familyyyy!  What a rapist!  They captured it in crystal!

Stake:  Noooooooooooooooooooooo.  (Looks down