#causing chaos

[a-little-bit-of-tradition]

[humanfox030]

Granma Sweetie

[feathersea]

Pov: he just saw you run away from a village he was ransacking

Ps: Killer's about to pounce on you

In this AU he's rides a Night Fury, and he turned to crime after some interesting events I'm cooking up. Giggling.

Also, I can't do colour, so I tried some black and white stuff for the funzies.

[prince-jjae]

i love my cats theyre so cute theyre my little babies i love being a cat dad

[krakenartificer]

I mean honestly the walrus probably is a fairy. There’s no other explanation for how it got to my porch in a landlocked state without anyone else noticing

[judesmoonbeauty]

Where you at, Clavis??

Ummm, has anyone seen one Clavis Lelouch? 👀

Leave it to him to abandon his own spotlight in an SE event🙄…probably to set up poor Yves with a trap.😂😂😂

[tracksuitlesbian]

[pirate-of-the-southern-isles]

Westergaards: *proud and fierce lion pride*

Hans: that one Orange Cat™

[victorluvsalice]

Merry Christmas Newt!

@dont-offend-the-bees I know you didn’t have a specific prompt, so I decided to go with blending two fandoms that you’re very fond of, in what I felt was a funny way. Hope you enjoy!

--

“So. Let’s recap. Vampires are real.”

“To be fair, Todd, we already knew that one,” Dirk said, brushing off his jacket. “Or have you managed to forget the quartet of lunatics who lured your sister into their grasp?”

Todd rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine – blood-drinking vampires are real.”

“Better. And yes, very much so, apparently.”

“And they really like virgin blood.”

Dirk nudged the man currently laying groaning at their feet. “So this fellow says.”

“And he that is why he grabbed you off the street and tried to drag you off to their house.”

“Yes. I found it quite insulting,” Dirk grumbled, hands on hips. “Do I look like someone who has never had sex?”

“. . .well. . .”

Dirk shot him a wounded look. “Todd!”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Todd said with his best shit-eating grin. “You merely look like you don’t fuck often.”

“Todd, continue on this track and the universe tells me you’re not going to be fucking for a good long while.”

Todd rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine, you’re a golden god of sex.”

“. . .I know that was sarcastic, but I’m allowing it all the same.”

Todd huffed. “Anyway – back to the point. So this guy–” Todd gave the man a much less gentle nudge “–snatched you up, hogtied you, and carried you off to turn you into vampire food. Only to run straight into us because we’ve been searching the city trying to figure out where you’d wandered off to this time.”

“The wonders of the universe!”

“Yeah, yeah, exactly – and while he’s distracted trying to get away from his kidnappee’s two very angry boyfriends, you manage to nail him in the crotch right at the same time Mike catches up to him and smacks him over the head with that flashlight he was insisting on carrying around.”

“I’m still not sure I didn’t cause him massive head trauma!” Michael squeaked.

“Dude was trying to kidnap Dirk to feed him to vampires, I can’t say I particularly care,” Todd snapped. “But Dirk – you are now convinced that we should actually fucking go to the vampire house because you think this is the beginning of a case?”

Dirk shrugged. “Why else would the universe arrange for me to be nearly kidnapped and fed to vampires in the first place?”

Todd pulled a face. “Dirk. Our first case together, you nearly died from a fun combination of electrocution and blood loss – and let’s not even get into everything that happened in BergsBerg and Wendimoor. There’s a possibility the universe just doesn’t like you.”

“Hmph. I find that supposition quite insulting too,” Dirk declared, arms folded. “I think I’m quite the ray of sunshine.”

“You do dress in a lot of yellow,” Mike said placatingly.

“We can debate just how annoying you are on the way to a church to pick up some crosses and holy water and shit,” Todd decided. “Because if we are doing this vampire lair crap, I’m not going in unprotected.”

“Oh, don’t worry too much, Todd,” Dirk said, grinning. “From what I gathered during the kidnapping, these particular vampires are – um – not exactly mentally enhanced?”

“Honestly, I think stupid vampires might be more dangerous. Find us some priest willing to hand over holy bullshit without asking a lot of questions, Mr. The Universe Always Leads Me Where I’m Meant To Go.”

--

[canisaythisoutloud]

[anirandums]

Shenanigans

[beezoobledoodles]

giving you all warning now: my next post is gonna be REALLY fucked up

thanks to @thecultoflove and @chamom1le-t3a for giving me an idea. this is because of you.

youll see soon.

>:3

[merlin-knights]

YES!

[gaywineauntsstuff]

(This is all a joke)

I love the Dick is pushing thirty and all the Batkids tease him about it and he’s dramatic. But what’s infinitely funnier is in the Robin story (the one illustrated by piccolo) Dick looks young enough to go undercover as a student in highschool.

Which means that Dick with a little bit of effort can pass for 17-19

Which means Jason ‘drawn like a 40 year old whose doing 20 to life in prison built like a brick shithouse’ Todd

Definitely looks older at 23 than Dick does at 27

And so the boys get their licks in and Dick does his howls moving castle let me lie on a bed dramatically like an 18th century women fainting

Calls Kori like ‘babe be honest am I too old for you, do I need Botox? HAVE YOU SEEN A GRAY HAIR PLEASE’ on speaker in front of the Batkids because honestly it’s a funny joke.

And then they go to a bar

And Dick gets ID checked

At 27

He’s been a hero for 19 years

He just got fucking ID checked at the bar

And then when they get into the bar

Jason gets called sir

And he gets called Dude

Because he looks barley legal apparently

And that’s even fucking worse

How is it everyone can laugh at him for being old and HE DOESNT EVEN GET OLD MAN PERKS.

HE HAS OLD MAN BONES, THEY SOUND LIKE HE NEEDS WD-40 (what do you mean that because of the 23 years of intense acrobatics and the 19 years of punching People, and carpel tunnel inducing precision shut up)

And Jason finds it even funnier until dick desperately asks how old the barkeep thinks he is and the dude goes like “idk 21? Barely”

And Jay laughs until the dude went “yeah I mean you look like a kid whose uncle is taking him here for his first drink”

And Jason cuts the laugh mid HA and goes “excuse me?”

Anyway now Dick if finding it funny again

It stops being funny all together when he’s the only one to get ID’d on Tims 21st birthday

Because Tim is 4’0 (it’s only a 3 INCH HEIGHT DIFFERENCE dICK)

And has baby fat on his cheeks at 21 and he can still pitch his voice into an androgynous or fem voice.

(Tim paid the bar keep to do this, he’s stirring shit)

[rapidhighway]

exploring