#cause zombies for some reason keep getting more variants
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movedtodykedvonte · 2 years ago
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I had a small Minecraft theory, not really detailed
That we are either a clone, created by those, trying to replicate people of the past, or the successful dezombiefying
Which would explain the amnesia, either cause there was no past to rememberz or because we've been a zombie
I totally dig it and can believe it! A thing about Minecraft that I enjoy is how much lore it has without a cohesive story. Everything can be explained but nothing is, allowing an open-world game to be played with your own story beats.
I personally love this idea that ancient people gave up on regular survival and just tried to get their numbers up by any means. The player being what was considered a failed dezombification subject let loose, only to come back later absolutely fucks. Or maybe we were taken by another person (not wanting us to be used for further experiments) and let free, a lore explanation for starter chests. It also explains why we come back. If we die, we briefly become a zombie again and make out a way home before passing out due to the experiment and coming back to normal. It's like were infused with a shitty totem of undying.
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hollowsart · 8 months ago
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I had to make the Morbius variant of Acedia into its own post, but here's some funny concepts n stuff I came up with while working on her with a friend.
Warning for topics with slight discussion and mentions of blood and vampirism.. cuz this is about a vampire lol
enjoy my thought process minus my friend's input that helped with a little back-and-forth to come up with this stuff:
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tfw you're just trying to get some fruit, but this weird ominous looking older man doesn't hesitate when he sees you holding the last perfect honey crisp apple in the whole store.
goth as a subculture apparently didn't exist until the 80s in the UK with the introduction of a specific genre of music. the subculture itself is just heavily music based. it's not fashion based, although most who listen to the music will end up wearing clothes that reflect the music or the styles of those who made the music.
But that's not to say Old Man Morbius couldn't dress very dated and have a more victorian style of dress. gives him that "gothic" look
he stands out from the rest of society at the time in the 50s and he doesn't do much outside of getting necessities and then going back to his penthouse.
there were rumors that he was a vampire, mostly from the younger crowds and some older folks who loved to gossip. Acedia didn't believe it, thought it was rude to spread such things about people without any real proof…. but it didn't stop her from feeling nervous.
boi howdy was she wrong to think he wasn't a vampire.
He followed her from the store and dragged her into an alley and attacked…. taking the dang apple she bought as he fled.
Acedia hating the taste of blood, but the vampire-ness is CRAVING IT.
I think we need a better explanation for "LIVING vampire" as currently, vampirism technically means you're kinda dead tbh. you're dead and you're reanimated differently than a zombie.
I did have a concept where vampires can still eat and drink other things besides JUST blood.
They can eat raw meats and possibly blood sausages, too. they lean a bit further into being carnivorous, but they're not cannibals (not to say there isn't at least one or two vampires who may or may not have gone cannibalistic due to some kind of trauma, but y'know--)
Vampires can go out during the day, but they require coverage from the sun. umbrellas, extra long gloves, big ole hats with massive brims. pants, long sleeves, long dress, etc.
most tend to be nocturnal, but will go diurnal if necessary or for any number of reasons they may have for being awake during the daytime. (like keeping up appearances and trying not to seem so out of place to the regular humans they live around)
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AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY HAVE A SUPER SENSITIVE NOSE AS IS
Morbius!Acedia is a silly fun "non villain" addition to this whole sinistersona concept.
she has no desire to cause harm and, much like Earth-4622's Morbius, she is more of a street-level hero. She uses this for good, not evil. and has her own issues to deal with outside of that world's "Spider-Man"
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Acedia: (airhead extraordinaire)
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you're not special, Morbius.
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me, who knows I'm hungry and should get something to eat yet is still sitting there taking +1 damage every 3 minutes that I'm NOT getting up to get food: …….maybe.. I already AM a living vampire? ..just without the desire to drink blood?
me meeting Morbius and he's like "I haven't had blood in 3 days, I am going to kill someone--"
me: ? only 3 days? the last time I had blood was uhh… 4? 5? days ago?
Morbius: Morbius, now feeling terrified, knowing I'm a variant of him: ….How are you still speaking to me?
me: I have other means of food that tastes better than blood. smells better, too.
I get hungry fast, but I still sit there and tolerate the pain. sometimes I'll drink something to kill the hunger pains. that helps me pass the time.
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glowstone23b · 1 year ago
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:DD!!! yes!! a wither!! (i saw a video once of some guy spawning a wither in the nether and letting these piglins have at em, cuz theyre naturally aggroed on wither skeletons as enemies and i thought it was super cool- i think one suevived nearly the whole fight? and it just,, gave me ideas!)
the immortality thing is kinda like a player status thingy! so yeah! (in part cuz im super attached to some of them, namely dereck, rylan, and grimm; and so i while i was super cool with them getting hurt and outcasted and going thru a lot of angst essentially, i was super super uncomfortable with them experiencind death in any permanent capacity, so here we are 😔) so respawning is a thing! and my thought was since players (people playing the game) are able to be any kinda skin they desire, i figured itd make sense like this "player" status was bestowed upon them like a gods blessing! if that makes any sense,,
and yea so with dereck, with his withered status, it cant really go away cuz he was withered BEFORE the wither died and he got blessed, aha 🤭 🤷 (lol i just thought that what if he treats his condition with milk like in game, and so he keeps trades with zombie piglins and other players who go to the overworld so he can drink it since its not available in the nether omg *enter he needs some milk vine* and and lol if he does nothing to take care of it hes just gonna fall into a death loop cuz hes immortal 👀)
omg flint is so cute i wanna draw em together 😭 who knows if i have time tho. they WOULD be friends omg taking care of the littol ones together 🥺🥺
thank you!! i love the wither star idea! just a littol trophy for him ^-^
dereck loves u too
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How tall would you say your ocs are? Dereck here but rylan and grimm for future reference? No reason (I lie, it’s for drawing reasons). I would love to draw them together also!! I love piglins :) if you couldn’t tell fhdbsjsk
Poor guy with his chronic illness & pain 😔 but hey he’s a good channel for staying on good terms with the local overworld villages and whatnot bc of trade routes, it works out! RIP dude, don’t fall into a death loop… maybe overworld like… cow’s milk has special properties that help soothe ailments that are caused by negative statuf effects? I assume they could probably get milk from hoglins or like. Idk. Ghasts or something fbdbsjjs or maybe if nether fungus variants of mooshrooms existed? Who knows!
I’d like to see that tbh— I’m surprised a bastion could hold their own against a wither in game 😳 that’d be interesting to see the outcome of for sure! Makes sense why an oc would come of it, haha.
I have a couple more piglins in the works, but I’ll have to refine designs, tbh. I’d love to have a solid brute, but most of the ones I come up with end up being retired brutes or dropouts/wannabes, lol. Maybe a good set of piglets to draw consistently or something, too. Idk I have a bastion in my head and I just need inhabitants for it 🤔
Trying to find a good in between for in-game mechanics versus irl influences is so tough !! I do my best but sometimes I realism too hard. It’s kinda fun to mess with though :D
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picnokinesis · 2 years ago
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Psst! Wanna talk about the future dust mass grave incident?
YES ok so because of the nature of this one (which I'm not gonna describe in graphic detail but, well, it involves a mass grave during a zombie pandemic) and because it takes a few paragraphs to explain the context, I'm gonna put it all under the cut for everyone's sake
Essentially it goes like this: it's been about....two months or so since Theo last saw Yaz, after they had that terrible argument and went separate ways. She ends up a what looks like a reasonably stable survivor community that's set up in the remains of an old military base and/or airplane hanger - it's nowhere near as big as the community in the Liverpool hospital that we see in the fic, but that is actually an abnormally large community. This one that Theo stumbles across is actually a fairly average size, maybe larger than average.
Of course, Theo's main objectives are 1) find a cure for Gallex and 2) survive long enough to complete objective 1 - which then leads itself to several subset objectives such as better understanding Gallex, not getting killed by random people etc. etc. you get the picture. I'm not sure precisely what happens when she first finds this community in the base, but she ends up staying with them for at least a little while - I think there may actually be a character there who's a medical scientist, possibly? Which is why Theo is particularly invested in staying, because that person has been trying to collect data on things she's observed in Gallex patients, and maybe Theo is trying to figure out whether new variants are developing or something, or trying to figure out if there's anything that can be done to alleviate symptoms?? IDK. SOMETHING. Stuff happens. Theo stays for a few days.
But. I think that the scientist/people running the camp....maybe they think they've found something that supresses the symptoms or maybe they think it alleviates them completely (but in actuality it just delays them), but Theo is pretty certain that it's Not going to work based on what she knows about Gallex, but she can't EXPLAIN how she's so much of a Gallex expert without explaining who she really is, that she MADE Gallex. And so I think she's trying to stop them from testing it on someone who comes to the base who has very clearly been bitten, and when it 'works' everyone is like YAY LOOK IT WORKED and theo is just sitting there like hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh because she is. not convinced. BUT LIKE?? If it DOES work then this will be INCREDIBLE, and so she has to stay and at least see if it does actually have a lasting effect? I'm making some of this up on the fly but I wonder if she actually tells the scientist that she knows that she's immune and that therefore they should move the person who's been given the treatment to somewhere isolated, and SHE can keep an eye on him because she's the only one who won't actually be in danger. I think the scientist's reaction is...bad, maybe? I don't think she believes that Theo is immune and I don't really know what else she thinks, maybe that Theo will try and kill the guy outright out of fear of the virus (or maybe that, if the cure DOES work, Theo will try and take credit for it?? But like sksksk the world is a MESS babe). WHATEVER. The point is that the scientist is overconfident that her treatment will work and just keeps the guy....in an 'isolation' corner in the main medical area. But like it's fine! They're keeping an eye on him, and if anything goes wrong they'll deal with it and it won't spread to anyone else! Like they've dealt with the infected for over a year now so this will be fiiiiine. One guy? Totally manageable. Theo is just sitting in the corner with her head in her hands because she just KNOWS where this is going but she can't bring herself to leave these people. And no-one will listen to her.
Anyway. Obviously, treatment doesn't work - actually I wonder if the treatment made the virus more aggressive, or cause more aggressive behaviour in the infected person?? A bit like the worst of the cases in the initial explosion in Gallifrey Labs, because the people infected there got a higher than average dose of the virus. Point is - things go wrong VERY QUICKLY and manage to catch them by surprise. Probably it happens at night. But - it causes a mass panic as people realise what's happening, a lot of people running and trying to evac (I actually think they maybe had a secondary emergency camp just in case they got raided or something?) and, long story short, a lot of people get bitten in a short space of time, before the infected person manages to get taken down. And, in the process of all of that, Theo somehow manages to get concussed and knocked out (and, also, quite possibly got bitten?).
Whatever happens - Theo is out for the count, and the survivors of the whole mess (which does not include the scientist - she died, without telling anyone what Theo said about her being immune) decide that they need to quickly deal with the bodies because leaving infected bodies all over the place is just not something they can afford to do - and so, thus, mass grave. I think that they probably had some kind of decent depth ditch anyway for waste, possibly? And then once the bodies are dealt with, the survivors move to the emergency camp. Theo gets thrown in because she looks just the same as anyone else who got bitten, especially in the dark. Of course, this is the apocalypse, so they're short on resources so they take anything like boots/jackets/bags (ESPECIALLY bags) from the infected bodies that they can manage to carry.
Theo comes too after they're gone - and like, I don't need to explain how horrible it is to wake up amongst a pile of infected people that are still alive but definitely not human anymore. You've all read her flashbacks in the main fic. But, it's Theo, she's stubborn as hell, even when she's living through what's arguably the most traumatising experience of her entire life and also super concussed, and so she manages to clamber out of that ditch and get away. Naturally, she's absolutely out of her head, and mostly just focuses on getting the HELL out of there, but once she's out of immediate danger she actually quickly realises that she's missing her JACKET, her BOOTS, and HER BACKPACK, which she is NOT happy about. And so, she heads in the direction of the emergency camp because dammit she wants her stuff back. So you can just. Imagine her. Arriving at this camp, concussed and terrified and A Bit Peeved and also covered in a lot of blood, not all of it hers, and trying to like. Convince all these people who were pretty sure she was infected that she's not, actually. She does have some chance in that she's not showing any signs of haemorrhaging, which after a few hours is pretty much guaranteed. So they do eventually realise - however, Theo has not yet realise that her touch aversion has now been dialled up to 100, and so when someone actually tries to give her a hand (because, uh, she's a mess and shaking and still has genuine injuries) and help her over to somewhere safer, she just completely loses it. I'm not sure precisely what happens afterwards - but I expect that, as soon as she's able (and has all her stuff back) she heads out on her own, and starts isolating herself even more than she already had been.
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I go into my winter hibernation, stocked up for 6-8 months. As usual.
I drop off tumblr because mentions of some virus happening again get too triggering. I didn't consciously make the decision to log off, it just happened.
This is going to sound made up but hear me out.
I spend my winter hearing weird noises but relieved when my neighbours stop blowing shit up at night over my window and stop running the water on me. Stop making smoke and smells that come down through my ceiling. I think they moved out. I saw trucks and bags and boxes.
I do not immediately notice when the garbage and recycling stop coming by because I only put out a small bag and it's probably dragged off by animals by the next week. The recycling schedule being this fucked seems a bit odd, but it seems to be happening to everyone.
It's weird how many wild dogs and such are happening by my camera, but it's happened before. It isn't totally new and this winter is kind of harsh.
I text my neighbour who likes to check on me but they don't reply.
I come out in spring.
Where are all the people at.
There's environmental story telling all over with some bodies. They seem to congregate where I know snow banks build up in winter. Interesting. Unsettling.
There are bite marks on the bodies.
They all look human.
The bite marks do.
I keep expecting somehow, to see zombies -as if that's not insane- but everyone who's still out is quite too rotted to move and has been thawed long enough to no longer be contagious.
Grocery store is abandoned.
Walmart is too but I go through their hunting section for unexpected supplies.
I take a new batch of supplies home without paying. Fuck it.
I log back online. I message my online friends. It's normal for me to vanish for a month or more at a time, but they were worried this time even knowing me. They are relieved I am not dead. again.
Apparently, there was a zombie apocalypse?
I make sure I have appropriate armour in addition to the weapons in case there's a pocket of surviving zombies anywhere but the experts say that the virus has pretty much burned itself out and there hasn't been new infected in at least two months.
I still install a metal grate on the inside of my windows.
I am still getting my cheques because they are automatic.
I can't reach my landlord at all so I stop paying rent.
I try to get in contact with other survivors and start making plans for how to deal with bodies and etc once enough time has passed that it's 100% safe, but what's left of the CDC is already putting together teams to recover bodies and remove them, and the only reason why some were left here was on account of the snow. I never got very far anyway, because no one I tried to reach out to offline answered me.
I still haven't heard from my family. Not since I ignored the first text. But in my defense, all the text said was "so are you alive?" which is also what my mother last texted me a week or two after I had asked her to check on me daily while I was suffering repeated heart attacks, and what my sister usually texts me to act passive aggressive about the fact that we haven't spoken in a few years because she stopped answering me after some episode of verbal abuse... So yeah, I ignored the text and when I didn't get a text on my birthday I didn't think too much of it. It seems like more passive aggressive bullshit and didn't bother saying anything useful like "hey so there are zombies now and everyone is dying and I know we agreed not to speak but are you okay?"... I check and see it's my sister who sent it, I reply now but I have no idea if there will ever be an answer.
At least tumblr has a fairly complete record of events.
Apparently, not only were there zombies, but it was caused by a new covid variant and people were as stupid about it as usual, and only started caring when people were literally turning into the walking dead... A full month or two after initial infection. So by the time there were actual zombies, most of the people who were going to be infected had already all carelessly infected each other. Not to mention the month and a half or so wasted on everyone trying to pretend the 'zombie' illness was unrelated to covid. Something about viral encephalitis causing symptoms similar to rabies and prion disease. Everyone having contact with anyone pretty much got it within the two or three months before they knew what it would cause and how untreatable it is. There were three entire people who hadn't died yet after coming down with symptoms now in special care units being filled with antivirals and whatever else. A very small handful of people who got vaccinated often enough for enough variants seemed to be immune, or resistant to small exposures. Less than one in 100 000. No word yet on if they were asymptomatic carriers now like the viruses history would seem to suggest but they've been recommended to self isolate.
The world's population was decimated within the first two or three months, again when the first zombies unexpectedly started biting and attacking people, and again when people refused to go into lockdown and kept taking stupid risks. Before the first run of one of these viruses I wouldn't have expected so many people to be this stupid, but after living in corona land for the first 5 years? Unsurprised. When I read surviving groups were convincing themselves the zombies were a government conspiracy to force vaccination? Unsurprised. When I read people took up the attitude that having previous infections would obviously make them immune? When they started trying to argue children couldn't get it, couldn't spread it? Unsurprised. When people started making the argument that the weak should perish as zombies and everyone left could rebuild? Un-fucking-surprised. Reading none of this is remotely surprising.
Really didn't work out for them this time.
I wonder how many of them wished they bothered wearing masks or putting a pause on their attempts to hook up.
I also wasn't surprised to read how many people had tried to re-congregate and rebuild a "new normal" as quickly as possible, despite being advised not to, who ended up causing new outbreaks in these little emerging communities. Anyone who's left by now has learned to stay spread out.
I didn't know anyone here anyway, save for my nosy neighbour, and apparently they'd left town. They eventually answered to say they were with someone a province away. They hadn't realized why I was asking about the garbage... That I didn't know.
How could I not know?
Me especially.
Like yes. I smelled the death, but I assumed a neighbour might have passed away, texted my landlord about it and tried to contact the police, it wasn't my place to risk my life busting into someone else's apartment to check on the smell.
And yeah I heard the noise, but like... Have you heard how rowdy people get under normal circumstances in this neighbourhood? How loudly people yell strange things at night and how often there are sirens? I just figured it was none of my business. Shots and explosions right outside my window? My upstairs neighbours have me used to that, especially late at night and in the weird hours of the morning.
The world ate itself while I spent the winter playing games, sewing, cleaning my apartment and eating olives and tuna directly from the can.
I research all the animals that were able to get other covid variants and what's happening with them. Seems like a similar story to what happened with humans, the members that got infected did, and if there were isolated populations left there was no one left alive -or almost alive- to spread it to them.
I think the people that are left will take studying this virus and vaccination against it seriously. I think we'll social distance okay and wear masks. I think we'll wipe out the virus this time for good, whatever is left of us. Whatever is left of it.
I'll have to start growing my own food again. Rationing what frozen meat I can gather up until I can set up to do some fishing and trapping. I might even hot-wire a camper or something and -able, or licensed to, drive or not- get myself set up someplace other than my apartment, some place with more room to grow food. Further into the forest.
The local radio stations are dead. The radio stations from nearby larger areas are all just giving weather updates, emergency warnings, government updates and playing whatever the hell they wanted. I should have checked the radio months ago. I didn't know and no one told me.
I go out of my way to get a ham radio -there's lots of abandoned tech around, new in the package- and start putting out a broadcast to the local area with my number to call in to so I can look for other survivors in the area. I start looking into how to maintain enough internet access to keep connected. Thankfully cell services still work and so does cellular internet.
When I am sure it's safe I figure out how to drive and start cautiously canvassing the area for any hens or livestock that have been left unattended. It doesn't really matter if I am a shit driver or half blind. I can go slow, and who am I going to hit?
I find out the new housing policy when my housing specific benefit gets cut 3 years early. If you find a house marked as unclaimed and file for it. You get it. There aren't enough people left for there to be market competition. They didn't want to encourage anyone to fight over property, if there's enough people left for that, by having no official process, but really who's going to deny someone a home now. There's hardly anyone left to go through and make sure the gas and water in each property are maintained enough to not cause system wide failures.
I would apply to periodically monitor houses in the area, and they might call me up if they run out of personnel, but I was disabled enough not to work before all of the pandemics. Instead I track down a house half way off into the woods with no gas line and a wood stove, access to a well. Internet. For now. I start looking into sourcing more serious solar power, but for now I grab up every solar garden light I can find. I don't think I can rely on their being infrastructure or local shops anymore. Not this far out. It's going to be delivery from big shipping services, or self-sufficiency.
I do register with the closest health center as a patient, in place of people having family doctors in an area this dispersed, but I don't suspect they'll be more helpful to me now than they were before. I finally concede to paying for a bank account that has a proper line of credit attached to be accepted online, and there are finally cellular internet prices that makes sense in Canada.
The time comes that I could join other people, but I don't. It wasn't safe for me before and I hardly trust it after the literal zombies. I was fine in my apartment and I'll be fine in my house.
I guess the 5-10 year plan and all the saving up really didn't impact anything?
At least I can walk down the street and to the store safely without even really -needing- the mask, anymore. There's no one left here to spread it. I still keep the mask on, and there's nothing left at the store anyway.
When the zombie apocalypse came, you were prepared. What you weren’t prepared for was how quickly it ended.
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pitruli · 3 years ago
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Minecraft headcanon worldbuilding with player species !
A bit ago already, I wanted to have consistency in my headcanon designs of mcyt, so i started making categories of players depending on how their skins look to headcanon them as part of the same “species”
Since then i quite developed the thing and have… quite a bunch of species haha
Either a player is assigned to a species because of how the character looks, or for some lore reasons (canon, fanon, or for my au DatD)
And I finally sketched and detailed every species, so here I go !
(also assigned every (or most, might have missed some) members of hermitcraft and dsmp so they’ll serve as exemple o7
edit: Now with Empires peeps !
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player ability: what differs a player from a mob. Consists in being able to manipulate material around them, like a kind of telekinesis power (grab chunks of material and move them easily). Also included protective black out, allowing them to escape and regenerate from what would be a mortal hit to a mob, granting them a conditional immortality.
(a * means that the drawing doesn't represent the whole species, which have many variantes possible)
Humanoids:
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Angels:
Quite a special species; mythical winged players, linked to a certain deity or legend. The only species possessing wings and the ability to fly, can look like any type of bird, bat or flying bug.
Known players: Pearl (moth), Phil (crow), Scott (owl)
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Elves:
Humanoid players with horns and tail, one, if not the most, common species of player
(artist note: Elves weren’t supposed to have horns. But i just drew one of them like this without thinking, and a friend encouraged me to keep every elf like this. Cause yeah actually, i don’t have to follow common standards :D)
Known players: Cub, False, Impulse, Scar, Wels, Sapnap, Punz, Purpled, Nikky, Connor, Joel, Joey, Katherine
Imps:
Usually nocturnal species, with features akin to cats and owls (mostly the eyes, with good night vision). Their behavior can get pretty wild at night, making some of them avoid the darkness or the moon by sleeping more than most players.
Known players: Bdubs, Keralis, George
Gremlins:
Usually smaller than most humanoids, with visually missing facial features. Their mouth is invisible most of the time, appearing and revealing their fangs and split toung only when laughing or singing, which makes them one of the scariest species.
known players: Grian, Wilbur, Quackity, Shubble
Deads*:
Glitchy players who survived a perma kill, although with consequences. This species includes every player based on or looking like skeletons, zombies and other undead creatures.
Edit: In their past life, all Deads were humans, as surviving a perma death is their particularity
Known players: Cleo (drowned), Jack (husk/burn victim)
“Humans”:
The closest species to us, though the name is misleading. You should be scared of them, player ability is a pretty big business if applied in real life
this species does not exist because i didn’t have idea yet for theses players, no no no,,,,
Edit: Humans' particularity is, in fact, their ability to survive perma kill, turning into Dead players
known players: Etho, Hypno, Iskall, Joe, Tfc, Xb, Zedaph, Ponk, Karl, Fwhip, Sausage, Pixl
Mob derived:
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The notion of species is a bit more blurry for this one, it is more of a porte-manteau term which includes several variations. There’s two more common types of mob-derived players:
Hybrids*:
Humanoid players with mobs/animals features, though the features of humans and animals are quite well mixed together making them look like a creature of their own.
known players: Gemini (reindeer), Beef (bull), Tommy (chicken), Tubbo (bee), Puffy (sheep), Hbomb (cat), Jimmy (cod)
Anthros*:
Players looking way more like their mobs counterparts than humanoid players. Usually smaller, still keeping physical abilities an animal can possess (strengh, agility, etc)
known players: Ren (dog-wolf), Fundy (fox), Techno (hoglin), Ant (cat), Lyzzie (axolotl)
Both of these “species” can be derived from any animals, existing in minecraft or not. This also includes striders and piglins. If one player is based on a flying animal, their wings would be too small or too weak to lift them. Only angels are able to fly on their own.
Others, more precises, species of mob derived player exist;
Enderians:
Slightly smaller variant of endermen and closer to humanoids in proportion. The horns and eyes can be of any shade of purple. For some enderians, the player ability can make them possess off colored horns and/or eyes, although rare
Known players: Ranboo (gold horns)
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Creepers:
This species is a special case on its own, as these players are litteral creeper mobs born with player ability, with minimal physical change (bigger than wild creepers). Although their form can be a disadvantage for some aspects of the game, this often makes them the most ingenious players.
known players: Doc, Sam
Slimes*:
Type of invertebrate player, looking more or less like humanoid players, depending on their will to ressemble another player or not. Can technically be of any color.
known players: Jevin (wild blue), Charlie (humanoid green)
Llagers:
Species of players derived from villagers, pillagers and other mobs of the same family. One of the strongest species, but often underestimated. As natural villager mobs possess some aspect of player abilities, being a full player emlified their strenght.
(following personal headcanons of villagers, these mobs and players are almost looking like land shark people, we can thank Foolish for this)
Known players: Foolish (dwarf/totem based)
Cryptids:
Group of species with more unusual features compared to the rest
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Spectres*:
Humanoid players with some pretty wild anormal features, transforming their body while still somewhat looking like a human to some degree (mostly affecting the eyes, more or less keeping a classic form) can be seen as external corruption or glitches
known players: Stress (demon/fairy), Tango (nether spectre), BBH (full demon), Eret (white eyes), Hannah (half thorns/plant based)
Blobs*:
Glitchy players looking like nothing else, neither like mobs nor like other players. They have peculiar body shape, quite simple but disproportionate, either with uniform colors or abstacts/graphic patterns
Known players: Dream, EX (clonning accident)
Inorganics*:
Special players who have been constructed, mechanical objects, plants or rocks containing the essence of a player.
Known players: Mumbo (robot), Skeppy (gemstone)
Shapeshifters:
Players unstable enough to change shape as they wish. Need to be contained from time to time to rest and keep their form.
Known players: Xisuma (animals only)
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If you read everything, thank you so much ^^ I'll glady answer any ask about the species or if you want to know which player (or yourself) belongs to which species !
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hermitcraftheadcanons · 4 years ago
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Scattered AU Masterpost Part 2 [COMPLETE]
Due to post length limit (which is apparently a thing), this AU has been split into two parts. Find Part 1 here!
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Contributions:
- Mumbo has a pet ravager miscellaneous ideas: the ravager is actually a bit small as far as ravagers go. Once Mumbo leaves to go to the hermits, he doesnt take the ravager with him, for fear the environment wouldn't be right for it. However, the ravager follows him and Iskall, startling both when it comes running up to Mumbo. The ravager does not like any of the hermits, however it doesn't attack them because it can understand that Mumbo cares about them. - anonymous
- related to scattered au and "what if this happened to old hermits too" -- python's stuck in a death loop in a bastion (his spawn is right next to a piglin brute). he has no clue what's going on but by god, does he blame zloy - Anonymous
- Consider: Etho's mask protecting him from the flowers that gave Hypno so much trouble. - @/rayveewrites
- (Scattered AU) After Etho dies accidentally at the spawn haven, his spawn takes him to Xisuma. Xisuma is clinging to life when he gets there, and Etho only has time to grab his admin's arms and promise he'll be found before Xisuma passes away. Etho and Xisuma get a few hours together to work on getting Xisuma to the surface before Etho starves to death, and he's transported somewhere else. After that Etho makes it his mission to cycle through spawns as quickly as possible to help Xisuma and anyone else who is trapped in their spawn graveyard, no matter how much his legs start to fail him from the damage starting to linger from building into the sky and leaping off to respawn over and over. - @/petrichormeraki
- Some honorable mentions from my written summary for mumbo in the au: the illigers being terrified as he keeps coming back no matter how many times they kill him; he gets adopted by evoker; he fails at evoker magic, like so bad he cant even dye a sheep; the evoker being so done with mumbo that they beg the vex to give him magic; mumbo summoning scar when the vex get annoyed at how often he summons them, mumbo eventually summoning bdubs after scar's contract to mumbo runs out.... and so much more - @/therainofsweetmelody
- Moobloom!Hypno attracts bees - @/itsabork
- Not too long into his messenger journey, etho remembers what had happened to impulse by the time he, zed and tango had found him, which inspires him to try and die in a different way each time he sets off to find another hermit, partly to avoid becoming resiliant to certain death methods and partly for the challenge - Anonymous
- Because Doc hasn't died his death messages haven't been showing up in the chat. The other hermits don't know if he's even in the same world as them. - Anonymous
- (Scattered AU) More on the Mumbo accidentally summoning Scar thing; the summoning has "opened" the chat for them, but only between Mumbo and Scar. All evokers can call on their Vex, after all, so why not an evoker in more-or-less training? - @/petrichormeraki
- (alternate headcanon) There's so much discussion in the server, I wouldn't know where to start restating. However, I wanna mention one thing: scar spawning in xisuma's first spawn, deep in a geode down under ground. Being trapped in an endless death loop due to the warden lurking just outside the geode, forcing scar into the same loop xisuma had been trapped in so long ago. Not only does he have to deal with the separation from bdubs once they got out of the end, now he seemingly cant escape the warden's clutches.... - @/therainofsweetmelody
- Admins log who knows how long: I've finally managed to get my helmet some repairs with this I could get some plugins to start working hopefully. Considering the situation going on, I better not have derped to hard on this, not now. - Anonymous (singleplayer sleep now works)
- (Scattered AU) Because the code is glitchy for mob hermita, Jevin would spilt when injured too much. So while X and Jevin are trying to get to the surface, they encounter a dungeon or a mineshaft and Jevin gets fatally injured. X starts freaking out cause he doesent want to be alone again and he cant bear to watch Jevin die infront of him and risk getting lost and seperated and Jevin just splits, theres two Jevins now and X doesent know what to think of it.While there are two Jevins, their consienceness is split between the two and his motor skills are more sloppy and X notices and realises that Jevin loses more of himself the more he splits. So while he has a lower chance of losing Jevin to an unfortunate accident, Jevin slowly reverts to a slime the more be splits and the more be spends time as multiple entities. X worries that if Jevin splits for too long or too much, he might lose Jevin - @/itsabork
- The only portal to get out of Hels and into the overworld is an incredibly complex vault boarder line weapon built by Hels Doc and Hels Mumbo and the location of the portal is known only to a few and it changes every season. Now cue Helsknight and Wels sneaking all around Hels while trying to look for this basically impossible to find and get into way home. - anonymous
- It takes a while, but eventually those outside of hermitcraft start wondering why all the hermits collectively disappeared. Sure, they started a new world, and sure they’re usually more secluded, but it’s been months. Skizz wonders why he hasn’t heard from Impulse in a while. All the legates wonder where Python went. Everyone’s confused when none of the hermits turn up to the next MCC. Things get weirder when none of them sign up for the one after. -🟣
- Ok to add on to the daisy ravenger post, on his way to 0,0 Mumbo found spawn spawn, slo when he arrived everyone had him at sword point, expecting angry illiger noises they were surprised when they herd "GUYS IT'S ME!!" - Anonymous
(Note: Hermits at the haven currently include Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, and Iskall, in order of arrival. XB is en route, and Etho was there briefly before dying and respawning elsewhere.)
- Pix and Zloy would be the first to notice the hermits' absence. After all, they do a weekly show about them. Maybe they just decided to have a few weeks of downtime before moving to the next Season? Though surely it wouldn't take this long... - @/rayveewrites
- because im a legacy sucker, the legates would likely be the first to notice the hermits' disappearance. between zloy being on the server, skizz being part of zits and very close to impulse, pearl knowing a few hermits, plus python literally disappearing. what they'd do about it? no idea.to keep it more on the topic of hermits though, don't think about how devastated skizz would be to find out what impulse went through. don't think about it :) - anonymous
- Hello I have produced thoughts! I don’t have room for both so I’m sending 2 asks -when Iskall arrives at the mansion all of the illagers are wary; if one of mumbo’s friends are here then he must be leaving soon. Despite their initial feelings they’ve come to care about this idiot that wandered into their house, and they’re fully aware he has no survival instincts whatsoever, so when he does end up leaving they send a ravager to keep him (and his friends, they suppose) safe -@/haworthiaace
- so like... hear me out ok what if the reason the whole world is corrupting and weird and why a lot of people are like slowly turning into mobs is because maybe this is the way the game and the mobs are turning on the hermits for like making really inhumane farms or something like that and the mobs somehow messed with the code of the world to get revenge - anonymous
- Scattered AU!! Biffa spawned very concerned and on a beach. Where is he? How did he get here? Is he alone? Well one of his questions was answered quickly as he heard a constant buzzing sound come from his communicator, upon opening it he saw probably millions of death messages. He quickly realised this was probably supposed to be a new season of hermitcraft, but he didn't really have time to think about it, night was quickly approaching and he could already see drowned swimming towards him. - Anonymous
- How many times did X die to that Warden? Maybe he develops something to counteract the Warden’s sensors, or that his heartbeat slowed down to the point that his suit can barely pick it up (therefor making it harder for the Warden to track Xisuma down). -🦊
- Etho tried his best to fight the system and not get any new features from all his deaths. But, the game has its ways. Slowly, after every death he has, the less alive he comes back. (Undead!Etho, could be ghost, zombie variant, or skeleton variant) -@/harley-the-pancake
- Other hybrid characteristics Hypno gets of the moonbloom: His ears turn into golden cows ones, the horns grow in, he gets a tail, and little flowers grow though his hair and wrap around his horns. He can also grow flowers around him as long as he has dirt, but thankfully they dont do anything beyond smelling a lot stronger and smelling very nice (and maybe a bit of evoking certain reactions, but nothing beyond what normal flowers can do, ie lavender being calming, just a bit more intense) - anonymous
- Beetlejhost ended up in the world along with the hermits, spawning as if summoned: in the middle of a circle of beehives. His spawn is in the birch forest near the s8 spawn, and his presence spooks anyone who stumbles across him. He blends in concerningly well with the black and white of the forest. Beef feels like hes being watched whenever he goes in the birch forest to get supplies, but joe never notices a thing. He teases the hybrids about their changes, leading him to get swiftly decked- - @/therainofsweetmelody
- beetlejhost spawns in a circle of beehives in the birch forest near spawn. he thinks he's invis, in reality it's just his stripes making him blend into the birch trees. he can't leave the circle of bees, ah how wonderful it is to bee bee-tlejhost - @/justme123abz
- Beetlejhost doesn't mean to be mean, really, he just has really, really bad timing. This includes seeing a pollen-stained Hypno and, with his gravelly voice, immediately say "Woah! Someone had some fun in the sun! Tell me, did you spend a week rolling in dandilions or do you just like the color yellow?" This does not go over well - Anonymous
- Speaking of hybrids, Xisuma spawned in a Wardens den right? Well unlike the other hybrids, Xisuma has been changing too but its been slow. Every time he spawned back in that place, on the warped ground, he's changed. He doenst notice the dark starts to seem less dark, until noises get louder, until he's more sentive to it then he noticed, he gets stronger and breaking though the stone with his bare hands seems a bit easier, its not until he finds Jevin and he points out the glowing horns (1)peaking from his temples when his hair is pulled back hastily that he realizes that something has gone horribly wrong with him. Thankfully Jevin helps ground him before he can freak out, so he shelves it for later, once they're out of this cave. The warden that once was down by his spawn is no longer there btw, disappeared. The horns grow slowly, and soon glowing vein like markings appear as well. (2) - Anonymous
- Okay, Xisuma, we established he spawned in the deep dark, right? As time goes on he adapts to the dark. The skulk sensors grow on him. However as time goes on, they not only grow on him, but become a part of him. His footsteps quiet to near silence, and he can feel sounds. He certainly isn't how he was when he entered, at first glance he might even be mistaken for a warden. - Anonymous
- Tango is the only hermit other than Mumbo Daisy kind of likes. Tango thinks Daisy is absolutely adorable, and Daisy does like the positive attention(and the treats). - Anonymous
- When tango meets mumbo’s pet ravager he loses his mind, he tried so hard to get the decked out ravagers to like him and then mumbo just waltzes in riding on one of the things! He ends up hanging around her a lot and eventually forms some sort of relationship, although not as close as he would like (he also gets a little more sympathetic once he sees the effects the evokers had on mumbo, he figures the guy earned a pet ravager) - @/haworthiaace
(Hermits now at the spawn haven, in order of arrival: Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, Iskall, Tango, Impulse, Zedaph. XB is en route, Wels and Hels are traveling through Hels to get there, Ren, Doc, and Grian are attempting to get there but their success has been limited so far)
- Scattered!AU: Idea that Ex is the ONLY one that knows what is going on and how to fix it perhaps (maybe 'cause of having been banished to the void for so long)? That's why he's trying to find X. - Anonymous
- Admins log: day 1006: Me and Jevin finally see sunlight, and I've managed to get the clock function on my helmet working, finally. As we're on our way to the surface, I only hope that I can find someone or something to help guide us to where we need to go, but unfortunately I've lost all signal to chat, and I think we're next to a woodland mansion. I think I've derped up this time.
- Dear Xisuma, if you see this message then the log is working, also fixed the clock in your helmet it's been 50 days, not 1005. I was about to leave with Iskall when I noticed you and Jevin outside with a few, erm, "buddies" of mine you two where passed out and I managed to stop them from killing you with Daisy, my pet ravenger. I'll explain everything later and spawns in the village are working, finally. I recommend not moving much and work on the data packs for a bit before you do anything elseExplanation log to Xisuma part 2: Sorry if the last one got cut off abruptly, apparently there's a limit to these messages. Any way please take care of yourself. Sincerely, your pal Mumbo Jumbo
- Admins log, day 51: I first want to say thank you Mumbo for bringing me up to speed and explaining why and how me and Jevin are here, next I want to say that these logs may slow down for a bit, I'll be working on some maintenance for some packs. I still don't know why this is happening, I now hope this is a wicked nightmare and not our reality. Hang on I see something over there it looks like, wait let me ju- Voice logs are off for the moment.
- all one anon
- mooblooms spread the flowers that enraptured hypno. now that hypno is a moobloom hybrid, he can make people "hypnotizd"! he doesnt like to, but if the spawn ever gets attacked, the hermits are winning easily. - anonymous
- I like to think that at some point when there's a significant number of healthy hermits at 0,0 they start group searches to find the rest of hermits - anonymous
- After awhile, if they can't change the spawn of everyone, they begin securing all the spawn points to everyone, so if their bed is ever destroyed in the future, they won't end up in a death loop again. They secure the death loop spawn points first. - @/ciaravixen
- For undead Etho: I know that ghasts aren't technically undead mobs, but they're basically ghosts and that's what I feel etho is becoming?He's leaving his mortality behind bit by bit as he ceases to care about death and starts to use it as a tool instead.One day he'll respawn without a body at all - @/draconic-dreams
- This is just a thought. Sand cant be good for Iskall's mechanical parts, and its not like he has anything to fix it. Does he have to wait to find doc to be able to have hope of fixing himself? - anonymous
- Jellie had spawned in the village that cub and xb had come across, so when xb heads to 0,0 he takes her with him (she'd be safer in the overworld than in the end, after all). Its quite a long journey, and she makes for good company. -@/supertiny-tins
- Grian, Doc, and Ren fianlly start heading out to 0,0. Its a long journey, they decide in the end to leave their beds behind at the cabin in case any of them die so none of them end back at their orginal spawns. they would of just made new beds every time but the lack of suplies and resources near by has been low oddly enough. Doc manages to push aside most of his fears to help Grian and Ren, who are weaker, but he keeps his distance whenever he can. They make many hastily built huts as they go 1most nights are spent sleeping on hard ground, later straight up blocks of wool they find but not beds, just wool is better then ground, and it doesn't do the weaker hermits any favors but it works. There are many close calls, but they manage to avoid death, mostly due to Doc. Along the way they start to find signs of other players, coble in places it shouldn't, a rare torch, half mined trees, but no hermits. They still have a way to go, but they're getting closer to the others and safety. 2 - anonymous
- Etho once found himself spawning in the middle of an ocean with nothing and no one in sight except of course... A faint trail of lights dancing beneath the waves... Pulsing and glimmering, almost in a rhythm, something so fascinating, so... So... He was meant to be doing something...? It was... Important... At least... It might have been... It's all.. Kinda hazy... It couldn't have been more important than the lights, nothing was more important than the lights... They were so beautiful... He could watch them all day... Etho never noticed how he slipped beneath the waves, nor how the glow squid's glittering eyes had turned upon him, coiling a tentacle around his waist as it dragged its prey deep into the depths, his eyes hazed with green, he never even noticed his lungs burning for air.And he never remembered drowning after he respawned. - anonymous
- Impulse actually punches through the Nether roof so they can traverse more safely to coordinates given to them by Etho. They leave trails of blocks so they can make their way back, of course. - @/rayveewrites
(Evil X is now hiding out in a cave near spawn)
- Shattered!AU: I see everyone's Warden!Xisuma heacannons and I give you Axolotl!Xisuma. Think about it he's been hanging around with them and Jevin in the lush caves so maybe he's becoming more like them. (Frills, a more pink-ish tint to his skin, the ability to breathe underwater, etc.) :D (Is this because the thought of him having Warden traits is terrifying to me? Maybe. Is it because I think he deserves to become something not scary after his whole ordeal in the Deep Dark? Yes.) - anonymous
- Ever since getting out of the loop, Impulse has had a horrible inner conflict between his guardian side being instinctually drawn to the water, and his human brain being deeply terrified of ever being submerged again. - @/asexualbert
- Because I absolutely adore Daisy, more headcannons for Daisy.Daisy will occasionally just pick Mumbo up gently with her horns when she thinks she isn't getting enough attention. Daisy has a bell collar, because she kept scaring hermits by following Mumbo silently. Daisy is more okay with Iskall than most other hermits, though still doesn't really like him. - anonymous
- Though I'm a sucker for angst, what if Impulse was saved by a dolphin pod or something instead of transforming into a hybrid (or after transforming if Guardian!Impulse is cannon). :3 I can picture dolphins don't take kindly to the Guardian Mobs, might even find them as prey if anything since they're fish. (Guardian!Impulse wouldn't count since they're smart enough creatures to tell the difference.) - anonymous
- Prob a bit early for epilogue stuff but I like to think that, once all the glitches are fixed, that those that became hybrids and would prefer to be back to normal get changed back. - anonymous
(Shade note: Personally, I'm a sucker for stories where the characters adjust and learn to live with the unexpected changes to themselves rather than having them magically fixed, but this option is certainly still here for the people who find it appealing)
- For the scattered au, after the numerous frozen deaths Grian's gone through he starts hearing voices from the snow, even from within Ren's cabin. A snow golem forms after a wandering trader drops a pumpkin and watches from outside the cabin, deciding to guard the place after taking a liking to Grian and Ren. - anonymous
- When Etho became fully ghost, it hit hard. BeetleJhost saw this, and after a while decided to teach him how to show his form and speak. It takes a lot out of him, but it’s worth it. His friends deserve that closure. (Listen, I was expecting angst, I just wasn’t expecting that much angst.) - @/harley-the-pancake
- Mod Shade, I want you to know that angsting ghost!Etho that hard was entirely on you. I was picturing him clipping through blocks and dropping items at inconvenient points, not fading out of existence entirely. - @/draconic-dreams
- Possible explanation for everything going on in Scattered:Players were never supposed to be so powerful; in the natural state of Minecraft they're just another mob, albiet one that can craft and use any tool.But the Players weren't satisfied with that. Everyone from the admin of the smallest server to the mythological ‘dev team’ has been imposing little changes on the world since its inception, slowly tweaking it into a better environment for Player-kind.A single spawn at the world's centre. The ability of Players to chat from one end of the world to another -- even across different worlds. Even natural regeneration, an ability unique to the rarest and most powerful of mobs. As time marched on, Players not only unlocked these things but began to take them for granted, drawing far away from the behaviour of normal mobs. This became normal. Players continued to create datapacks and run commands that tweaked the very nature of the world. -@/draconic-dreams
(Shade note: Perhaps it was just a random glitch, one fundamental line of code removed to shift the balance of power. Or maybe it was orchestrated, but by who and for what purpose? Either way, it will take the Hermits a while to realize this, and even longer to fix it...if they can at all.)
- Jessasin spawned in a mesa biome, of course he's confused on how he got there and why he's in this random vanilla world and not his usual modded world, but both questions got pushed aside when the death messeges arrive. He exploared the area gathering as much recourses as he can and goes off too find someone, anyone really. - @/ghan-does-things
- hello! I discovered the scattered au literally yesterday so sorry if this is something that has already been gone over but I had an idea about bdubs, what if his constant exposure to the void and surviving on nothing but chorus fruit for who knows how long made him slightly enderman-y? 1/2 (sorry, couldn't fit the whole thing in one ask)Like nothing obvious at first, but making eye contact makes him agitated and snappy, touching water makes his skin tingle and if you look at him in the dark his eyes seem to have a very faint pink/purple glow about them? Maybe the other hermits swear he's taller than he was the last time they saw him? And the tips of his fingers are blackened, he assumes due to frostbite, but it seems to gradually be making it's way further up his hands? again sorry if this has been gone over already 2/2 - @/plantichu
- Okay so after Welsknight and Helsknight manage to get past the crazy vault door in Hels, not sure how but it probably involved a lot of cussing on Hels part and Wels saying that he never wanted to look at redstone ever again. The portal takes them to the overworld near Xisuma and Jevin. - anonymous
- (scattered au) The first set of non hermits to join this corrupt world are two strangers that apparently came from infinity's grasp. The good news they both spawned at spawn, bad news the brought the tnt duper flying machines, good news that everyone was able to calm them both down. Now the fun begins. Tldr Illmango and Methodz finally get out of the infinity portal. - anonymous
- Loving the Scattered AU. Late to the party, but was looking at the wider MC community reaction to the Hermits vanishing. Once it's clear something bad's happened, would the Legacy crew and whoever else (former Evo squad members like Martyn and Jimmy as well, if they notice Grian go dark) take steps to find out what happened? Would they go to the MCC server (it's kind of a nexus between worlds) & get Noxcrew to try "pinging" the HC server? Would X & other admins see it but be unable to respond? - @/wixelt
- I dont know if anyone has mentioned it but uhhhh, guardian xb? he was a guardian hybrid before everyone got scattered like Ren was already a wolf/dog hybrid. iirc xb spawned in a desert which would be a very interesting place for a guardian hybrid to spawn - anonymous
- Etho has been so, so desperate to avoid dying the same way twice, to stay himself. He hasn't drowned that many times, he thinks. Surely, surely he's starved more often? There's a strange feeling of deja vu hanging over him when he respawns in the ocean, though he can never understand why. Each time the squid finds him, he drowns a little slower, and each time, he glows a little stronger.And he just can't understand, almost refuses to, as he treks from biome to biome, where the small green bumps that line his arms and face came from, how his fingertips seem to almost glow when he scoops a handful of water, how long he finds himself simply staring… at the moon, at sea lanterns, at torches, at lights… He would die a different way every time. He had to. He had to stay Etho. He would not become anything else. - Anonymous
- When Mumbo comes riding into camp on Daisy, it’s easy to see Impulse is not happy about the ravager being there. That’s expected, it’s not exactly everyone’s favorite mob to see around a safe haven. But when Mumbo and Impulse make eye contact, the evoker can’t help but make a simple warding gesture his friends at the mansion taught him- it’s a reflex move. Days later, Mumbo still isn’t sure if Impulse flinched because of Daisy’s sudden growl or his ward. - @/fluffy-papaya
- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: For years, seeds and the land they built had been carefully curated by those known as players, in an effort to make it both easier and more interesting for themselves. But the land doesnt want to be controlled. Their glitched, broken world is a result of the world itself rioting against their presence. Coordinates aren't visible with the debug screen, their coms only serve the world, to tell the players what it knows. Compasses spin wildly in the overworld, for there is no "world spawn" (though coordinates are visible with one in hand. Small mercies are still given). The world resists any further changes by the simple fact it refuses to accept what a hermit communicates. Maybe it's fixable, but maybe... maybe it runs deeper than just their world. (The Legates caused a lot of damage with all those withers, after all.) - @/basaltdragon
- While Iskall is in the desert, he ends up dying quite a few times, enough to adapt, he becomes like a stray, so now, if we have skeleton Etho, we have 3 undead hermits - anonymous
- When everyone is finally gathered and they manage to come together to use all their skills, new and old, the hermits use it to flee back to Season 7. They stay there for months, mostly to heal and adjust to what happened to them. (Trauma isn't easy) Those who have friends or family off server get invited to visit, but the hermits don't leave, they nearly lost each other and they aren't willing to risk it again right now. They'll make a new season 8 at some point, the hermits are too (1/3)restless and too ingrained in their ways to completely disregard how they've always done things, but that will come when they feel better, safer, more put together, when they can finally stop sleeping in a big pile becuase they're afraid the others will disappear. They never go back to that old glitched world, the idea makes them sick, and X starts the new practice of sending in the 'Cam' and/or 'alt' accounts in first to check out the world and set up commands and plugins remotely first. (2/3) What happened before will never, ever happen again he swears it. Next time they might not be so lucky after all [if you can call them all being traumatized, many of them dying over and over again, some being permanently altered, and barely escaping lucky] (also feel free to save these asks for near the end of the au!) (3/3) - anonymous (Shade note: I personally like the idea of them fixing and learning to live in the glitched-out world, but this is another alternate ending!)
- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: Alternatively, what happened is exclusive to their world. (I don't have Dramatic Storytelling for this one, sorry) EX has ADHD to the max, and everything he does is a desperate attempt to get Noticed, to get looked up to and listened to. He's known it was "wrong" for a while, hence why he took X's name and added "Evil", but he never seriously wanted them to hurt. Just to listen to him. He'd meant to come in and fix it all and finally be a hero. He didn't realize, either through haste or inexperience, that he too would be at the mercy of what he'd done.Maybe he does, eventually, make it to where the hermits have gathered. But does he really want to admit everything? (RSD had burned him before, and if there ever was something to place the blame on his head...) - @/basaltdragon
- lasting effects of deaths
- a large amount of assorted ideas
- The bell they put on Daisy was originally of the type that are put on cats, but Grian ended up switching it out with a cowbell because he hated the sound - anonymous
- False, Keralis, Cleo, and Stress make it to spawn, bedraggled and exhausted. Out of all the Hermits, they are some of the last to arrive. Along the way, they’ve encountered trials innumerable that have left them beaten and bruised, but after months of travel, they’ve finally made it.Shortly after leaving the Moobloom field, they came upon an abandoned cart in the middle of a desolate village. With some of the redstone they had found and whatever magic they managed to scrape up, they turned it into a sort of vehicle that allowed them to travel much faster. It had a habit of breaking every six seconds or so, but nothing they couldn’t fix. For the most part. A few accidental combustions aside, they crossed the server in record time.Once at spawn, False has to be forcibly restrained from immediately starting guard duty, and several of the Hermits have to physically wrestle her into a bed in order for her to get some rest. Stress starts up a potion factory the next day, and also starts decorating the spawn with the flowers she’s collected during their travels. Keralis helps out wherever he’s needed, but in his downtime, he constructs an elaborate warren of tastefully decorated, industrial tunnels under the spawn, just in case they might help. Cleo mostly just stays in bed, creating elaborate dioramas and mourning the loss of her zombie side. She’ll get better, but it’ll take some time. And that’s ok with the rest of them. - @/topazastral
- When Doc, Grian, and Ren finally make it to 0,0 there is no fanfare, no dramtic entrance, no revulation. They were travling and suddnly, there was a base, a hermitcraft base, and they could see people. Grian clambers to feet shakily from the shed, nearly falling but Doc and Ren catch him and toghther they help him walk foward and call out to their friends. They are safe now, they're here- Is that mumbo on a ravager what the hell? Wait thats Impluse? Seems like Grian wasnt the only one changed. - anonymous
- Jellie reacting to vex!scar headcanons -she recognises him instantly. The moment she and xb arrive at spawn she darts straight towards him. Of course, she cant figure out why he looks different, but regardless, thats her owner and she demands pets!!!-sometimes she will jump up and try to pounce on his vex wings, because shiny moving thing! Scar picked up on this very quickly and will move out of the way before she gets the chance (vex wings are rather delicate and a pain to get fixed)-whe she's bored, she will always go to mumbo and daisy for attention first. This makes scar rather jealous and she knows that damn well-Scar will sometimes pick her up and fly her around not too far from spawn for a few minutes. Nothing she isnt used to, as he flys with the elytra all the time, but something about flying with vex magic just feels... different. And fun! - anonymous
- Contrary to the enderman bdubs, ender dragon bdubs. His eyes aren't the normal brown, and are instead a bright magenta, he also now has ashen gray horns. - Anonymous
- Scattered AU: The intended world "theme" Xisuma had set up for Season 8 was Large Biomes. This was before anyone knew something was going to go wrong, of course, but it's had a horrible lasting effect in the glitched world. Not everywhere has generated as "large", so when Hermits are travelling they'll sometimes find normal sized biomes, and other times they'll find one biomes that stretches an abnormal distance in all directions. Grian and Doc's mountain range is one of these large biomes. - @/wixelt
- For the scattered au, the snow golem follows Grian and Ren (and Doc) to the spawn haven, for a few days the hermits are wondering what's leaving behind snow trails and zombie flesh, so they decide to have a night watch around this area. Ren volunteered and waited, half-asleep he nearly nearly gets hit with a arrow when he hears the sound of a skeleton getting hurt. He sees the snow golem and uses his sword to kill the skeleton. The snow golem tries to flee but Ren realizes and stops it (1/2)He welcomes the snow golem and introduces it to Grian and Doc, (where the snow golem warns him that it is keeping its eyes on him in its own language). Spooked, Grian tells them that he can understand it, and the golem tells him that he's been following them since their time at the mountain. They decide to give it the name Catmint and it helps guard the hermit's base at night (while giving a stern look at Doc every now and then.(2/2) - anonymous
- (Scattered au)Seeing as we now have 3 different variations of Etho, I raise you: all 3 at once. It turns out Etho was not in fact human, instead a shapeshifter who didn't know that he was, the deaths simply sped up the process, whereas before, while he would change slightly, it was never fast enough to be noticeable - Anonymous
- I had this idea some time ago actually but I thought it was silly but now that the au in ending might as well say it. It doesn't make much sense now with all the new development srry. What if one day Mumbo was callibrating his comunication monstrosity, and suddenly his communicator had signal. He called and called but whoever was a the other side didn't pick up, until they did and Mumbo was overjoyed, but the happiness died down when he could only hear chocked sobs and sharp breathing and (1)teeth chattering. Suddenly a voice whispered, little and fragile "h-h-he-lp". Mumbo knew that voice too well. Before he could even open his mouth to let his best friend he was coming for him, he'd be okay, anything, the breathing stopped. The call was still going, but no one was at the other side anymore, Mumbo hung up with tears in his eyes, and he swore he'd find him and he'd help him. (2) - anonymous
- Scattered AU: While there's still time for them: Mumbo was the furthest Hermit out in the Overworld, & didn't set off for over a year, yet wasn't last to 0,0 (with Iskall) by any stretch. More than half the Hermits seemed to arrive after him. This can be partly attributed to Daisy making good time, but it makes you wonder how many trials & tribulations impeded False, Stress, Cleo and Keralis along the way? How much Ren, Doc & Grian were slowed by Grian's condition? What took xB or Biffa so long? - @/wixelt
- Once everyone finds each other, at the world spawn, after the initial shock, and fixing of the world of course, the hermits all decide to settle much closer to each other. They were separated for quite a while, so it makes sense why they'd decide to keep close. Some groups also make shared bases. - anonymous
- I sort of want grian to be a bit more inhuman so how about grian’s skin on his arms, legs and most of his face permanently blackened by the severe frostbite and the rest of his skin has taken on a bluish tinge, his hair is no longer the Gold it was before but almost snow white with a tinge of dark and light blue, his ears and tail are snow white with what appears to be frost and ice growing on them (1/2)(2/2) grian can not cry because the tears will immediately turned to ice, he can’t swim because if his body touches the water the water will freeze over, his skin is cold to the touch and whatever he moves his body it will make a cracking sounds like breaking glass or smashing ice, no matter how warm it is he can always see his breath... i’m trying to think of more but I’m coming up blank so that’s it hope you like it. - anonymous
- bc i cant stand when cleo is unhappy: the moment she and joe reunite, joe realizes how horrible it is for her to have her body messed with against her will. and as an admin, he can modify her code to put her back to how she was in previous seasons (aka not totally rabid but still undead) - anonymous
- Admins log final day: I'm glad we'll all be able to wake up from this nightmare, and we're able to get an exit portal going thanks to Mango and Methodz having a backup of the key to open the infinity portal's power, we should be able to not only go back in time, but destroy this broken timeline. Were all grateful for them, and I did invite them both to help us incace this happens again. This will be the last day in this timeline, if you somehow found this helmet with these logs, thank you. :-) - anonymous
- Grian, Doc, and Ren find it hard to stay away from each other too long, especially Doc and Ren becuase they've been taking care of Grian for such a long time so they find themselves kinda hovering over him and Grian finds himself seeking them out even when he's with other hermits. The other groups, who've been toghther for awhile, do it too probs - anonymous
- Soon as Grian and Mumbo see each other, they launch themselves at the other and hold on for a long, long time. Iskall join in soon as he wanders by and they talk for hours about what happened, looking over Grian's new fox parts and the blue marks on his hands, Mumbo gray stained hands and magic, and just Iskalls overall experience. Also Grian's little fox buddy absolutely loves Daisy and vice versa. Its not uncommon to see the small fox riding on the ravager's back while Daisy scares people. - Anonymous
- I know I'm a bit out of loop w scattered au & is probably getting things wrong but consider this, when Mumbo accidentally summoned Scar, leaving Bdubs alone, Bdubs freaked out. The very person that meant rescue & hope for him back in the end is now gone, he felt like he's back into the void again and he thought Scar abandoned him because he's too weak & is a burden to Scar. (Yes I am currently drowning in Scardubs angst) - @/anthosaidsmth
- The glitches in the world didn't only happen to the Hermits, it happened to all worlds created in 1.17. The cause remains unknown, though it is believed that something or even someone corrupted/changed the code (what/who is up to imagination. In the case of the latter, so is the motive). My idea, we've already confirmed that Watchers are arrogant jerks so perhaps they couldn't stand the fact that players learned to do things against the rules that they put in place, and did this out of spite. - anonymous
- A bit late but I see all the Fox!Grian headcannons so what if Grian spawned in a jungle and slowly became a parrot hybrid instead? How idk, maybe resorting to eating seeds to prevent himself from starvation because there is no animals in this jungle.
- Here's a thought: The Hels!Hermits were also effected by whatever caused the scattering. They may all hate or annoy each other, but not having each other around to pick on isn't very fun (neither are death loops). Perhaps some of them gain humility over this or learn to be at least a bit nicer to each other and their counterparts. (or some of them find sadistic amusement in their counterpart's miseries) - anonymous
- Finally, once everyone has made it safely to spawn and the problems with the world have been resolved, the season begins. Some of the Hermits may have changed (more than just physically) but over time, they adapt and recover. Grian eventually starts yet ANOTHER war, Tango gets to build DO 2.0 (X is terrified at the fact wardens are involved), and Cleo becomes a coach on 'how to be a mob hybrid' (unless all new hybrids get returned to how they were before by admin powers or just being players). - anonymous
- With all the glitches fixed and all the hermits starting to get back to their normal (Well as normal as it can be after all of these), I wonder if Scar is still a vex. All the hermits just adapted to their situations, but Scar is different, he made a deal with the Vex. - @/anthosaidsmth
- It takes all of the hermits that changed a while to get used to the changes, but eventually they do, mostly through help and support from the other hermits - anonymous
- I had a wee idea and it's a little silly but I like hurt/comfort so maybe after all the scattered au events have passed and the hermits are all together living safely, every winter some hermits invite Grian to their bases to take care of him since the snow and the cold are very bad for him. Sometimes he gets fevers but most of the time he just needs a warm blanket and someone to distract him from the snow. This is also making me wonder if Grian could develop chinophobia (fear of the snow). - Anonymous
- conclusion
Art:
- An Evoker Mumbo
- Evoker Mumbo with Daisy
- Evoker Mumbo summoning Scar
- a Guardian Impulse
- assorted doodles here and here
- A two-part Impulse comic
Writing:
- some Etho lore come back to haunt him (pt 1)
- Cleo sharing mob-hybrid tips with Impulse
- Executioner
- Fish out of water
- Homesick
- Thalassophobia
- The General's Wager (pt 2)
- The Undertow
- Saviors
- Bdubs falling
- For lack of blue shiny rocks (pt 3)
- conclusion (pt 4)
- EX in the Deep Dark
- this road I'm on's gonna turn to sand
- Snapshots
- a multi-chapter Scattered interpretation written just before the real season 8, complete with some outside lore and crossover
- Scattered Across The Map (series of parallel multi-chapter fics)
- One Hundred Thousand Worlds Away
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corvid-gae · 3 years ago
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I’m doing a little Minecraft ‘hostile’ mob headcanons series, and I’m gonna do Endermen first cause I have the most headcanons for them, okay? Okay, lets go. Enderman eyes are on the range of blues to pinks in terms of color, and each color is unique. Not only that, but they work like cat eyes. When they’re docile, or when they’re excited about something, they look like dumbasses. (Cute dumbasses, but still) Endermen also have small axolotl-like gill-bits below their ears, however rather than using them to breath, they operate more like cat whiskers, able to sense temporal rifts so they can teleport between dimensions without the aid of a Stronghold’s portal, or a Nether portal. (Not saying cats can travel between dimensions though LMAO) These bits are also the same color as their eyes.
Enderman are OBVIOUSLY draconic with snake-like scales, but they have fine (Almost like down) feathers that run from their head, down their back, and to short (only knee length) tails.  Endermen are digitigrade and have deer-like hooves (Cus deer are also cute)
These feathers are in the shades from blues to pinks/reds, just like their eyes. Many style their hair with beads (made from metals or even shulker shells) and it’s another signifier for who an Enderman is to others. 
Endermen don’t get names until they are older, and they choose their name. It’s a very important process for Enderman as until they choose their name they are simply referred to by their birth order (And thusly until then they are unable to style their own hair or clothing.) Some choose things relating to the void, others the very Endstone they stand on, others the stars within the void, it’s a toss up of what they choose and what it may relate to. The clothes they make are out of the bark of Chorus trees, the bark being very stretchy, flexible, and thin. It can also be layered to make armor similar to leather (Where they normally stamp their name into.) They can also make an ice-cream equivalent by mixing mashed up Chorus fruit and the softer inner Chorus tree and leaving it to freeze for some time within End stone “freezers”  Endermen have small fangs akin to fruit bats so they can pierce the tough flesh of Chorus fruit (They’re omnivores and can also eat Shulkers, which I imagine taste like oysters or clams, but they prefer Chorus fruit) The dragon is their matriarch, obviously, but rather than being a typical queen who makes laws, she simply protects the Endermen from those she sees as a danger to them (aka, the player.)
The dragon also lives for centuries, and her egg takes nearly her entire life after she lays it to hatch into the next queen (Who due to the End crystals, has the previous queen’s memories.) Endermen actually communicate via telepathy when you look into their eyes (Which is why looking into one without warning sends them into a frenzy, they can’t read the player’s mind) why do Endermen speak though? They’ve picked it up from other players before, and know that players are unable to understand their telepathy. Ender pearls are exactly that, pearls, they’re collected from Shulkers and when an Enderman wears one (Be it a ring, a necklace, or imbeded into metal from the Overworld) it grants them the ability to teleport (The reason they only need one is due to their telepathy as well.)   Elytra are coveted items as many are made from the skin of the Ender Dragon’s wings when she dies. They take her remains and reuse them as a way to honor her. Her bones are crafted into many heads for ships, her bones are also used to make beads (The oldest Endermen have them and are revered) they even take her skin and use it for the end ships as well.  The Endermen seen in the Overworld and Nether are basically scouts or travelers who collect items from both of those places for various reasons (blaze powder is good for many things, including keeping the End ships aloft) The End portal was also created by Endermen who teleported to the Overworld by accident, and met the ones who would eventually become the zombie variants, and the villagers, so began trading with them.
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coollyinterferes · 3 years ago
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Character Interview || Repost, don't Reblog
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NAME  :   Robert Edward Orville Speedwagon
NICKNAME  :  Boss, aniki, “bastard!”/"that son of a bitch!” (usually from rival gang members, so the insult varies sometimes lol), Rob (used by a few friends), derivatives of his last name −Speebs, Speeds, Speeb, Speedy, etc− but these he will only accept them from certain people, otherwise he will do his best not to cringe on the spot or will do it inwardly. Uncle Speedy and etc later on (as in once George and the rest of the children come into his life, more specifically~).
AGE  :   25 in the main verse (may vary depending on the verse)
SPECIES  :  Human/Stand user in the main/time-travel verse | Vampire in the vamp!verse | Werefox in the monster!verse
—— Personal! ♡
MORALITY  :      lawful   /   chaotic /   good   /   neutral   /   evil  /   true .
RELIGION  :   Non-practising catholic (was raised as Catholic, like most other Victorians, believes in God, but that’s pretty much about it)
SINS   :     greed   /   gluttony   /   sloth   /   lust   /   pride  /   envy   /   wrath  .
VIRTUES :     chastity   /   charity   /   diligence   /   humility   /   kindness   /  patience  / justice.
KNOWN LANGUAGES :   English is his first language. Conversational Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese, German and some more. Some conversational Mandarin Chinese as well (this one thanks to Li −canonly known as Kenpo, his Ogre Street friend−) and bits of Irish (this one thanks to Tattoo, his other Ogre Street friend). He can read and understand some Japanese (kana and some okurigana/kanji) but can’t really speak or write it. Same case for some other languages that he can also recognize and more or less understand bits of them but can’t really speak them. As you probably guessed, he’s learned most of these through his many journeys around the world.
SECRETS  :  All of the stuff in regards to the stone mask and all the events and incidents that came out from that (it was stated that the only ones who know everything about it from start to end are Jonathan and Speedwagon, the others who might know a great deal of it would be Straizo and Master Tonpety). He also tries to keep a low profile in regards to his homosexuality whenever he’s out of the slums to save himself some trouble due to the stigma at the time and the potential legal consequences, going only for the gay codes of the time (long hair, cleanly shaven face, colorful accessories, etc) so I guess that could count? Other than that, and in the verses that it applies, his stand mayhaps?? That’s what allows him to leap through timelines in the time travel verses (it possesses other abilities and skills but, since Robert doesn’t even know about his stand’s existence yet, he hasn’t trained with it and thus he doesn’t know about any of it’s abilities, not even about the time travel oof).
—— Physical! ♡
BUILD :     scrawny   /   bony   /   slender   /   fit   /   athletic   /   curvy   /   herculean   /  pudgy  /   average   .
HEIGHT  :   5’11”, close to the 6’ mark (181 cms)
SCARS   /   BIRTHMARKS  :    The most recognizable one is the scar marring the left side of his face (going from the top of his nose to his jaw), but he has plenty more scattered all over his body, some more visible than others, some larger than others. Most of them come from fights and his general criminal lifestyle, some of them even come from some of the torture sessions he’s endured as part of that (so it isn’t surprising that they were either caused by knives, gunshots, burns, shards of glass and etc). Most of his scars are located on his chest and arms, some more on his hands/wrists and fingers (hands/wrists and fingers mainly from when he was learning to use his buzzsaw hat), though he has a few more on his legs/thighs, lower abdomen, and a couple more on his back. In the main verse (usually set in the late stages of PB), he will have a few more from the events in PB −burn scars on his hands from the fire at the Joestar mansion, one on his shoulder from the attack he received from Jack the Ripper, an ice burn across his abdomen from thawing Zeppeli’s arm, and a couple more and not so visible ones on his arms from minor injuries (cuts) he got while fighting and fending off zombies−. Most of the “PB scars” aren’t too visible thanks to Jonathan (he used his hamon to heal Speedwagon’s injuries shortly after).
ABILITIES   /   POWERS  :  He’s able to tell an evil person from a good one by their smell alone. He’s a resilient man and quite a strong one, too (stronger than the average guy, as he was shown killing zombies using his brute force only and a sledgehammer). He's good at hand to hand combat, he’s also good at using knives and guns, and at wrecking shit with a sledgehammer. I also hc that he's capable of creating veeeeeery small amounts of hamon (this as a result of Zepp's "accidental" slip) if he really puts his mind into it. Due to his current limitations with it, his hamon can’t be used for fighting, but it does enhance his healing process, making it slightly faster than that of an average human (with some proper training, chances are he might be able to do more with it, tho). His stand, in the verses where he has it, can perform time travel, which happens at random at first (he gradually gains control on his stand once he learns about it and starts training with it). Due to stands being a reflection of sorts of their user and their fighting spirit, and as an extension of Robert’s own hamon healing abilities, his stand also possesses healing abilities that can be used both on himself and on others, though this requires some training prior, as the healing relies entirely on Speedwagon’s own life force and can be fatal for him if used carelessly at first (once properly trained, it won’t represent a real danger for him to use). Much like Robert himself, his stand is also capable of packing some punches and causing serious damage on it’s opponent despite his stand being more of a “support” stand rather than a fully combat based one.
RESTRICTIONS  :  He's mostly a regular human in the main verse, so he’s at a great disadvantage against stronger supernatural beings such as vampires and pillarmen, for example. As stated above, the amounts of hamon he can currently create are small and, thus are difficult −almost impossible− to use for combat (again, this can change if he gets some proper training). His lack of knowledge on his stand’s existence can also count as a restriction for the time being, as he doesn’t know about it or it’s abilities and, thus, can’t use it at his will for now (it operates mostly in an “unconscious” level at first, usually after getting triggered). He also tends to wear his heart in his sleeve when it comes to the few people he truly holds dear and considers special to him, so that can be used against him if he’s not careful enough.
—— Likes / Scents! ♡
FOOD  :    He isn’t really picky with food since he grew up in absolute poverty and sometimes went for days without a single bite of food or eating stale (sometimes even moldy) food so like… he’s cool with pretty much anything nowadays. He’s also an adventurous man, so he’s always open to trying new and even “exotic” stuff. Other than that, pastries are one of his top fave things ever (creamy ones mainly but not exclusively).
DRINK  :   Tea −citrusy/fresh types mainly like lemongrass, same with berry teas−. He doesn’t mind sweeter teas but, since he usually has them with the pastries, he prefers something more “sour” to balance things out. He also likes coffee, liking it strong, kind of sweet, and hot (just how he likes his men lol). As for alcoholic drinks, he’s all for beer and gin. He also enjoys some of the sweeter ‘posh’ wines Jonathan normally has at his home.
PIZZA TOPPING  :  As far as I know, pizza toppings weren’t as creative and “crazy” in the 19th century as they have been over the last few decades, so he’s only used to more ‘traditional’ stuff like variants of Pizza Margherita, for example. However, in the time travel verses/modern!AUs he will definitely try all kinds of pizza toppings (yes, this includes pineapple pizza as well as entirely sweet pizza toppings and so on) and actually likes some of them.
COLOUR  :    Purple (shades like those of his waistcoats i.e.), pink, greeeeeeenvert, black.
MUSIC GENRE  :    More than a genre itself, he enjoys and appreciates music that can make him feel something. Toss some pub songs there for obvious reasons lol.
BOOK GENRE  :     General fiction mostly. He also enjoys reading some romance novels every now and then whenever he gets the chance to get his hands on a gay romance one, either featuring two males or two females (he doesn’t find the appeal in “traditional” ones for a variety of reasons).
MOVIE GENRE  :    Non-applicable in the main verse. Time travel verses −if he even gets the chance to watch a movie− and even in a modern!AU, his go to genres would probs be similar to his book genres, lol, just add some comedy there but like, not the ‘cheapest’ and cringey kind of comedy.
SEASON  :     Autumn and Winter (harsh winters are a pain in the ass in Ogre Street, but he can handle them fairly well overall)
CURSE WORD :   Fuck / Shit / Bloody and variants of it (like Bloody Hell) / Arsehole / Wanker / Damnit / Bollocks, Ballocks and all of it’s variants / Bastard / Motherfucker / Zounderkite (victorian for “idiot” but with even harsher and ruder connotations than just using “idiot” lol) / Beardsplitter (one of the victorian words for “penis” xd). There are plenty, plenty, more but those are the ones I can think of rn. He comes from the darkest pits of the slums after all, so yeah... Lots of cussing can be expected.
SCENT ( S )  :    Sweet and masculine musky scent, mainly, with an occasional subtle note of gunpowder and/or tobacco depending on whatever tf he’s been doing. Maybe a vague note of blood if he just got out of a fight. Some vague vanilla too but that one only around the time when he lands a temporary job in a bakery in London.
—— Fun Facts! ♡
BOTTOM OR TOP  :   Top leaning verse. He only bottoms occasionally for serious/long term boyfriends that he genuinely trusts, partly due to how being a bottom was (wrongly) perceived as being submissive by most people, and how dangerous being seen as such can be in a place like Ogre Street if the word gets out (not to mention that there’s been people there who have given him shit just for being gay), and partly because he also prefers to top and likes it better, lol.
SINGS IN THE SHOWER  :   Yeah. He started doing it as a child as a way to keep his mind distracted from how cold as fuck the water he’d wash himself with was (he usually bathed in rivers or washed himself with buckets of water some maid forgot outside of a household and that he managed to steal). He’s become a lot more used to cold baths over the years so a distraction is not necessary anymore, however, he still sings or hums sometimes whenever he has a song stuck in his head or if he’s particularly happy about something (this continues later on in life as well,even after cold baths are no longer part of his life, so it’s a habit that he never actually leaves).
LIKES PUNS  :    He loves them! Lame ones, good ones, cheesy ones, silly ones, witty ones, dirty/vulgar ones, etc. Heck, even dad jokes can be found in his repertoire! Chances are that, if you come to him with a pun or joke, he will give you one or two (maybe even more) in return.
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Tagged by: @le-princesse-chevalier​​ (( thank you so much for the tag!!! ♡♡ ))
Tagging: @historias-multorum @jojoingjoseph @gazelessmenagerie @usfv @featherchan @kindersturm @iiguess @storiedocs @quirofiliac @rotrioted @breatheflcra @emcraldsxchcrrics @arrhythmiiia @mechahero @voltagecrow @promiseled @joesrparchive (tagged your main but the tag applies to any and all of your muses that you might want to fill this for >:D) @rzrbite​ @mistymiddiana (if you’re up for it) & also tagging anyone and everyone who wants to give this a shot! Just take it and say i tagged you~ Multis and peeps with 2+ muses, feel free to do this for as many of your muses as you wish!
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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 3 years ago
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Oh Yes. It’s That Time Again. (End of Year FUCKING Round-up!)
Wow! That last blog entry was super-optimistic and sweet-tempered in the end, wasn’t it? You can tell I’m engaged to be married, can’t you? Don’t worry: I’m still a terrible cunt really. Which is why we’re now back to our regular, scheduled program. That’s right: it’s time for me to do my traditional end of year round-up! With Xmas and New Year on the horizon, I can see the year that was getting ready to drip off onto the great shag-pile carpet of the past, like a drop of cum from the cock-tip of eternity. I don’t hold many traditions dear, but I have to admit, I really enjoy this one. Handing out my end-of-year gongs gives me a chance to just be funny for the sake of being funny, laying into things I hate and praising things I love without the cradle of a whole essay or an analytical framework. I may not do much blogging nowadays (over the last two years I’ve actually been writing a fifteen-book sci-fi saga that will eventually be folded into an even larger, more complicated cosmology of interconnected stories, many of which will also be multi-book efforts. Yeah. I’ve really hit my stride as a fiction writer lately). However, I sincerely wouldn’t miss this round-up for the world. So, without further ado, let’s dive in with…
The Freddie Krueger Award for Something That Just Won’t Fucking Die ... Which goes to COVID 19, which just keeps coming back. Every time it looks like we might be getting back to normal, a new variant crops up and we’re back to hiding in our hovels like hobbits cowering before the fiery, boggle-eyed might of Sauron. Of course, a big part of the reason this keeps happening is that we keep trying to get back to normal as soon as anything even slightly optimistic happens rather than continuing to exercise caution until we’re absolutely sure that our medical science is on top of the threat. On the plus side, it’s made life quite exciting: it’s like living in the first act of a zombie movie. If I sound inappropriately jaunty, it’s because I used to live in South London, which was like living in the second act of a zombie movie- the bit where the shambling, dull-eyed corpses of former people blunder around bumping into things and trying to eat the protagonists. This is an improvement in comparison!
The Uri Geller Award for Services to Rampant Claptrap … Goes to the entire anti-vaccination movement- y’know, while we’re on the subject of COVID. Fake psychics and mediums have been known to lead people astray while they look for lost or kidnapped loved ones. Faith healers and crystal healers have prevented people from seeking real medical help and caused the deaths of the impressionable and easily-led… and their children. Meanwhile, away from the world of the falsely spiritual, flat-earthers have been making a concerted effort to destroy people’s trust in reason and science a lot lately and far right conspiracy theorists seem to have tricked us all into believing we’re taking part in a winnable ‘culture war’ which actually just degrades us all. Yet none of these reality-phobic con artists are quite as dangerous and pernicious as anti-vaxxers have made themselves since the advent of COVID. Like many others, I was dubious of the rushed-through vaccines when they first came out, but- unlike the entrenched vaccine-haters- I allowed my mind to be changed by changes in the known facts and circumstances. There came a point where any reasonable, well-intentioned person would admit that the risks of COVID (which definitely kills people) far outweighed the risks of a vaccine that hadn’t gone through the usual long-term testing cycle (which only stood a relatively small chance of causing harm later down the line). That point was quite some time ago, yet a growing and vocal enclave of dangerous nutters insist on endangering themselves and undermining collective immunity (which endangers us all) by both refusing to take the vaccines themselves and spreading patent lunacy about how they’re an insidious method of control. Let’s give ‘em a big hand, folks! They’ve supplanted fake psychics, healers and the most extreme conspiracy theorists  as the most dangerous, potentially-destructive quacks on the planet. I think that deserves a standing ovation, don’t you?
The Drunken Motorist Award for Most Spectacular Overcorrection Goes to Doctor Who, which has spent the last few years digging its own grave. Under Chris Chibnall’s cartoonishly bad stewardship, the Doctor teamed up with a grown man who needed his gramp’s help to learn how to ride a bike then went onto lock a bunch of fairly blameless giant spiders in a room to starve to death and become a corporate shill for Space Amazon (no, really: there’s an episode of Chibnall and Whitaker-era Who in which the Doctor sides with a corrupt, worker-exploiting company over the plucky rebel trying to raze it to the ground and it’s exactly as bad as it sounds). At this point, the idiotic gender-flip in which the show chose to ignore a core aspect of the protagonist’s identity isn’t even the main problem: it’s just the vomit-icing on a massive toilet-cake of compacted turd. The BBC seem to have realised this- and their solution is… interesting. They’ve brought beloved Who writer, Russel T. Davis back to fix the mess Chibnall created and the next Doctor is going to be the other guy from Pirates of the Carribean- you know: the one who wasn’t Johnny Depp. Having been punished for a bunch of stupid and obviously-destructive risks (i.e. a terrible casting decision and the appointment of a predominantly non sci-fi-writer to the helm) the powers that be at the Beeb have now decided not to take any risks. Instead, they’re going to lock themselves in a big, cosy nostalgia closet to smell their own farts for the next few years. They’re not giving new writers with new ideas a chance and they’ve appointed the oldest, whitest, most establishment dude they could find to the role of the Doctor. THIS ISN’T WHAT I OR ANYBODY ELSE WANTED! What fans have been begging for isn’t stagnation but just a bit of respect for the show’s legacy and main fucking character. It’s like they accidentally fucked a watermelon and instead of just pretending it didn’t happen and buying a new watermelon like normal people, they’ve cleaned the old watermelon, brought in an expert watermelon chef to make it look palatable and then sealed the result in plastic veneer to be displayed forever, changeless and totally fucking inedible. Yeah, it’s not my best simile, but fuck you: I’m writing this in Costa while the worst Xmas music in the world is parped into my ears via a tinny speaker system.
The Richard Ayoade Bursting out of a Cake Award for Best Lovely-Yet-Confusing Surprise … Goes to Dune (2021), which may be the best sci-fi adaptation of anything in, like, fucking years. It came completely out of left-field, too- I saw one advert for it over a year ago, then nothing happened for ages, then suddenly it was in cinemas and was effortlessly better than everything else made in a really, really long time. Which is lovely. But it’s also confusing, in the sense that I’m baffled by how it got made. Who was out there looking at famously hard-to-adapt sci-fi books and resultant bananas David Lynch films and suddenly thought ‘you know what? It’s time for another crack at this’? Why, then, did they choose to do a version in Paul Atreides is just very slightly off and maybe a borderline sociopath? Why did they cast a surly French dude in the role? And why does it all work so fucking well? I neither know nor care. I am content to be overjoyed and confused. I don’t know how Dune (2021) happened or why it’s the bizarre beast of a film that it is, but I don’t need to understand it to be utterly captivated by it. It’s fucking great.
The Ryan Reynolds Post-Green Lantern Award for Most Spectacular Comeback … Goes to Rick and Morty, whose fifth season pretty much fixed all the problems I had with Season 4 and got back to delivering some of the best animated science-fiction on record. Sure, Rick is still kind of nerfed, but his characterisation has softened a little so that it feels more like he’s not trying than that he’s really out of his depth and we still get to see him at his best (and worst) in a couple of episodes while the universe as a whole continues to expand and evolve in interesting ways. Yeah. I didn’t think there was any way to put out that tyre fire (especially with the open contempt S4 evinced for its audience), but here we are. Nice work, creative team behind Rick and Morty. Could you maybe put the cherry on top by taking less than a year and a half to make ten or so twenty-minute shorts next time? Seriously, the guys who write the stories for the 2000AD mag are laughing at you from behind their novelty Judge Dredd replica helmets.
The Charge of the Light Brigade Award for Most Self-Defeating Manoeuvre … Goes to basically all British shops on Xmas Eve. The moment at which people are most likely to need last minute Christmas supplies, I just discovered, is the moment at which the shops take them off the shelves and then close early. Seriously, all I fucking wanted was a Yule log and a selection of fancy cheeses. What I got instead was a headache and a marked up-tick in my ambient desire to murder and maim every fourth person I lay eyes on. There’s nothing quite like sprinting around Morrison’s with a wonky trolley while dull-eyed phlegm spigots meander back and forth in front of you to make you feel Xmas-y. And my ‘Xmas-y’, I mean ‘burdened with a sense of existential futility’.
The Eduardo York’s Clone Award for Soup-Spoon Gouging Perfection … Goes to Zack Snyder’s Justice League. Yes, they finally fucking released the fabled Snyder Cut. I mean, in a sense, the movement to get this cut released was erroneous because it falsely assumed that the cut already existed, when- in actual reality- a combination of pressure from Warner Bros. And personal tragedy forced Snyder to step aside before he got to edit together his version of the film. However, the movement (and yes, I’m aware that calling it is silly, but I can’t think of a better term) was correct to assume that such a cut (however theoretical) would be infinitely superior to the cobbled-together mess that arrived in cinemas and was also morally correct to want a major creative force behind the early DCEU to have a chance to deliver his vision free of hamstringing studio interference. And, for once, creative legitimacy and basic human decency won out and Snyder was able to deliver his version of a team up between some of the most legendary characters in the world of graphic storytelling. So how is it? Well, it’s about four hours of Wagnerian drum-beating invested with a kind of terrible, doom-laden weight… which only becomes noticeably silly when you remember that its main characters include a guy who fights crime dressed as a bat and a dude who goes out wearing blue pyjamas whenever the world needs saving and can shoot fire from his eyes- yet also low-key works in print journalism. It should come as no surprise to those of you reading along that this shit is my jam. The juxtaposition of the intrinsic daftness of comic-book characters with the mythic levels of cultural importance they’ve assumed offers up a rich vein of weird media that we don’t tap often enough and this is one of the best examples since the film adaptation of Watchmen. We’ll be ignoring the existence of the TV series for now. And probably forever.
The Surprising Longevity Award for Still Being Alive … Goes to Jeff Bridges. Someone told me he was dead earlier this year, but I just googled it and he’s fine. Thank fuck. I really like Jeff Bridges so, even though he hasn’t done anything noteworthy lately, I wanted to include him on this list, just to say ‘wow. I’m glad he’s still alive’. The Dude abides, my friends. The Dude still abides.
The Most Weight Gained by Consumption of Cheese Alone Award … Goes to me. Probably. I really fucking like cheese and my metabolism is not what it used to be.
The Special Award for Media that Gives my Fiance a Headache … Goes to Legion, which didn’t come out this year, but did give my fiance a headache this year. In case you’re wondering, the point at which she gave up on the show was the point at which a trio of women with moustaches turn up and describe themselves with the words ‘Now we are this: The Organising Principle; the Machine that Bleeds.’ I mention this for two reasons. First, I love my fiance very much and need to remember not to inflict anything as head-scratchingly weird as Legion on her again. Second, I still really like Legion and think y’all deserve to be reminded of its existence. Well, ‘deserve’ is probably the wrong word. If I was Santa, you’d all be receiving a stocking full of bricks to the face this year. But I’m feeling generous, so go watch Legion and then come back and thank me for the most unique experience you’ll have had since I introduced to be The Void.
And honestly, that’s all I’ve got. This year has been perfectly pleasant but kind of uneventful. More COVID happened, the things that were already good continued to be good, the things that were shite continued to be shite. I could hand out gongs to my favourite movies, but we’ve already done Dune and I feel like a movie-specific blog should be a separate thing. As much as I enjoy writing these, the world just hasn’t been cooperating when it comes to giving me stuff to write about. I’ll see you soon. Not necessarily on the blog. Maybe in a slasher film way. Only time will tell.
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yeet-imma-skeet · 4 years ago
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Great, There’s Sky Everywhere
(Based in @starr-fall-knight-rise 's unique universe. Part 6 of the story)
(Part 1: https://yeet-imma-skeet.tumblr.com/post/613232997621202944/the-sky-is-falling)
"So, Olive... what is it that is so important that you need to tell me in the middle of a lake?"
The head human doctor, Olive as she goes, laid still on her floaty as she eyed around the bio-dome in suspicion. Captain Silva waded near her, shaking droplets of cool water off his peppery hair at her squinting. Both were inside the bio-dome of the strange alien ship along with quite the gaggle of humans and drev exploring within it. Raucous laughter could be heard through the whispering of ruffled leaves. The low rumbling of drev voices and the clanging of weapons echoed from the wide plains as they sparred each other with glee. A few adventurous humans attempted to climb the tall trees and rock formations, only to fail in climbing the plants. Their bronze trunks were strangely smooth with no handholds to grip. The vines that grew from them were the same, though the yellow leaves proved to be sturdy enough to hold their weight somehow. The doctor and captain absentmindedly watched some crewmen climb up the dangling vines like demented ladders. A leaf managed to smack one across the face as she fell down in a heap, rubbing a leaf-shaped mark across her head before she angrily chased her laughing crew mates.
Silva was happy to see them up and about, giggling like children after all that happened. He really wanted there to be nothing else after their ordeal, but the grim look across the doctor's face only concluded his fears.
"The...disease," She started, "I've finally looked over it and the research the AI-ball-thing did and... it’s disturbing."
"More disturbing than the dead zombies?"
"Yes. I've noticed some subtle affects it causes besides pigment changes, uncontrolled strength, and neural decay. It nearly matches the affects caused by the Infected Starborn Incident a while ago."
His heart pounded at the implications, "What?"
"Well, like I said, not exactly the same. Of course we're dealing with an entirely new species unlike ourselves, but the amount of residual brain activity the AI managed to capture before they died showed similar symptoms."
She somehow brought out a tablet as she swiped through it, never mind the fact that she was wearing nothing but a skintight swimsuit, "In the accounts of the Incident, the Starborn Convict described the spikes in brain activity in these logs as the infected humans receiving some sort of communication from somewhere. After that, they went nuts as they were... mentally tortured."
"...Go on."
"The AI's records found the almost exact same reaction in the infected that it scanned. The infected was closing in on its position in the med bay, sort of sluggishly like a fictional zombie would, before they heard the cry of another being taken down by Galia at the time. Their brainwaves spiked in response and so they went into a frenzy. Thankfully, she got there in time to kill them, but it’s a terrifying thought."
Silva bobbed in the water, barely hearing his crewmen's laughter, "We are safe from this, right?"
"The bodies are quarantined in the lab, there’s no sign of potential infection from the disease, and we have made vaccinations in case so we are safe in that aspect..."
He noticed a hesitation, "But?"
"Let's just be happy that we're in space with no chance of meeting a live one. It would very well snap us in half before we could get sick."
—————————
Galia watched as another caldat—er marine, tumbled off the vines like a newly hatched sky dweller. She had to admit, they were remarkably good climbers despite not having claws. Instead of forcibly marring the plants, they would search for existing handholds as they slowly made their way up the trees. A quiet huff made her perk up an arial as she remembered the marine perched beside her on the rock plateau, the very same marine who had crashed his wheeled plank of wood in front of her before. Apparently he did reckless things on the daily, his resilience showing as he climbed everything inside the bio-dome with nary a complaint after falling so many times. He joined her in her people watching, quietly appreciating the view atop the tallest pillar.
Despite their differences, she was reminded of her planetary days when she would perch up high with her fellow Vigils. They were strong, aloof, untouchable to many, and she was one of them. But at the same time, she wasn’t. Her insides did a flip as she remembered those times, always doing something past what should be done. The only thing that kept her sane was the thought of seeing her litter mates again wherever they were.
“Uh, are you okay?”
She glanced over at the sitting marine, noting his concerned look as she tilted her head in confusion.
“Your nails—er claws are kinda...” He motioned towards their perch.
Twelve jagged lines cut through the hard stone leading to her clenched fists. How she missed her own hands grinding down rock unnerved her as she flapped her arials in nervousness. Surely the human would be terrified by the show of strength.
“As cool as that is, are you really okay? You were looking pretty off.”
She gave him an incredulous stare, “I’m fine, but aren’t you... scared?”
“Scared? Of what?”
Galia didn’t know what surprised her more, the fact that the human looked so genuinely unafraid or that he was still insistently asking about her condition. A quiet hum of laughter escaped her as his face changed from confused to weirded out.
“Ah, pardon me.” She curled her tail around her sitting form once again, “Any show of emotion is forbidden for my occupation. Unless it is an order, I should not convey any.”
“Well that sounds like a load of bull.”
“What?”
“I mean, it sounds like a stupid rule. You mean to do that all the time and don’t have any breaks?”
“It is required if I don’t want to be terminated.”
A flash of some unknown emotion crossed his earthy eyes, “Term-Terminated?”
“I am a Vigil, a weapon and shield for my king’s use. If I break or warp, I’ll be tossed away.” Her body seemed to stiffen, “There is no use for a caldat who knows Vigil training yet can’t utilize it to their best ability. Holding any of that knowledge is a threat so it must be controlled.”
A terse silence grew between them as the joyous sounds below did nothing to break it. The marine, in question, felt quite awkward. Like celebrating a birthday next to a funeral home awkward.
A quick idea popped into his head as he though of a way to change the subject, “Wait you guys have a king? Like crown-wearing, sword-wielding, do-as-I-say king?”
Amusement crept into her mind as he swung an imaginary weapon, “We have three who share Farris, our planet. One for each people and place.”
“Each people?”
“Though we are of the same species, we have three variants made for each dwelling on our planet.” She flexed an arial towards the gigantic dome, “The sky, the sea, and the land.”
“Sky... So where we are now? This rock thing and the forest?”
“Yes.”
“So you’re a sky person?”
“The official term is sky dweller and not exactly...”
“Oooooh, so you’re half and half? What’s the other?”
A flicker of anger and confusion reignited itself within her, “I don’t see a reason to tell you.”
His eyes widened as he watched her tufted tail hackle into spikes, “Oh shit, I’m so sorry if I offended you!"
For a moment, he thought that she would deck him flat and that he totally deserved it. His big mouth managed to piss people off for all the wrong reasons so it wouldn’t be the first time he got what he asked for, even if he had no bad intentions. Her golden eye seemed to burn a hole into his head as he kept apologizing. Damn, he just had to piss off the one person who owned the cool spaceship.
“...I am part land dweller.”
His bowed head perked up as the alien’s tail tuft flattened and her head turned towards the expanse of savanna below. He followed her gaze to see some of his crew mates playing a game of tag in the tall grass. The drev stood at the sidelines, sometimes serving as living obstacles to dart around much to their amusement. With a pounce, an engineer managed to tag a marine as she scrambled atop one of them. The drev took one look at the determined tagger, and before they could react, had two humans dangling from their body as they ducked and weaved around.
A question snapped the marine out of his observation, “What do you call that game? It looks similar to one we have.”
“Tag. Where one person is ‘it’ and they have to touch another person to make them ‘it’ and it continues from there. It can get pretty intense.”
“Hm.” Her tail flicked back and forth, “You humans are okay land dwellers, but we can be much faster.”
Sensing a challenge he grinned, “Oh yeah? Care to demonstrate?”
“If it will keep you from asking too much next time.”
He sheepishly nodded as she stood to her haunches, stretching a lithe leg behind her. The marine's eyes widened even more at the full length of the leg that almost reached his height. With little hesitation, the white alien began to skid down the cliff, leaving a trail of cuts down the side. By the time he scrabbled down to join her, the small gathering of his crew mates ended their game with gasping breaths, watching her stroll by in curiousity.
She crossed her arms, a new intimidation tactic she picked up from the humans, "Who's the best sprinter out of all of you?"
The panting humans and bystanding drev all pointed to the last human that was 'it'. Galia had been watching them and knew that this man had been 'it' a lot less than the rest as he ran literal circles around the others. The strangely bald, lanky, and dark skinned man straightened his back at the guard's scrutiny, exuting a challenging puff of air. Knocking him down a peg would probably make her feel a lot better.
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thewhiterabbit42 · 5 years ago
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WIP Tournament
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Week 1 - Soulmates vs Somniphobia
Soulmates  [Gabriel x reader]: Every world Chuck’s created may be different, but there are some threads that remain universal, and Sam, Dean, and Castiel try to use it to their advantage to save their reality from descending into darkness.
Somniphobia [Dean x reader, Gabriel x reader]: Nothing’s the same since Gabriel’s return, including the night terrors you’ve had since you were a child.  The more you experience these, however, the less you’re certain that’s what they are.  
Below the cut are 300-500 ~1000 words from the beginning of each WIP and some general tags for each story.  Vote for the one you want to see continued in the next round by:
Sending an Ask (anon’s allowed)
Leaving a comment on this post or in the body/tags of reblogs
Voting is open until midnight 6/7.  Thanks in advance to everyone who participates and keeps my muse going!
Soulmates
Preview warnings: none
General story tags: series, dark fic, canon divergent, post S14, dark(ish) Gabriel, slow burn, eventual smut [additional tags withheld to avoid spoilers]
You’re told you’re important, so much so that there are people ready to fight and die at a moment’s notice for you, but you don’t understand why your life is worth more than anyone else’s.  
You’re told you’re lucky.  Hundreds of people are out there, alone and defenseless, but you have the Winchesters and the seraphim, Castiel, to protect you.  
You’re told you’ll understand when you get there.  It will all make sense.  You’ll just know, and it sounds one degree away how parents pacify a questioning child.
You’re told so many things, about angels and demons, zombies and God.  The seraphim, Sam, and Dean are a wealth of knowledge, and it’s clear their intelligence and determination is much of what’s preventing monsters from swallowing this world whole.
Yet, for all their wisdom and abilities, you don’t understand why none of them can tell you who you really are.
They say your name is Ana, but it feels the same as when they tell you how the world came to be like this: empty, foreign, and one hundred percent certifiable.  
You can’t remember a thing from before you woke up to the three of them standing over you while you suffered from what felt like a universal sized hangover.  They’d practically had to drag you from the building as it became swarmed, and there isn’t much you recall from that either other than snarls and snaps and screams.  
If you didn’t know better, you would swear this is just one, long nightmare.  
The fact you can’t take ten steps without getting whacked by a zombie, spirit, or demon convinces you otherwise.  Rather, the constant pain of it does.  Memory or not, you’re pretty certain you’ve never hurt his much in your life, and if that’s not true, then it’s a blessing your past has vanished.
Sometimes it feels like you’ve been sucked into a work of fiction and are living someone else’s story.  Most days, however, it simply feels like Hell on earth, which you imagine is the entire point of an apocalypse.   
It takes you all of a day to realize you don’t like being told.  What to do.  How to act.  When to drop it.  Anything by the seraphim.  It could be information overload, or maybe how he acts like saving your life somehow gives him the right to control it.  
There’s just as much that they don’t tell you, like why you’re so special or where you’re even going.  Nobody knows, except the trio because it’s too important.  
The seraphim attempts to drop a scholarly essay on you about the fickleness of human nature and how easily persuaded it becomes during times of uncertainty and duress.  Dean thankfully breaks it down for you in much more relevant terms.  
“Demons are convincing people to go darkside without possessing them.  Promising them favors and rewards, the usual bullshit.”
You’re thankful for his candor, but that’s as far as it extends, his lips as sealed as tightly as the seraphim’s.  You might have an in with the gentle, if not overly pensive giant that accompanies them, but every time you think you have a moment alone with Sam, one of the others appears and the opportunity slips away.  
Whatever you were before this is clearly not useful.  There’s no muscle memory or instinct to guide you.  You are so far out of your element, and watching them cut through monsters like they’re nothing make you question how long you’ll actually survive.  
You won’t.  You’re not meant for this world.  You don’t suppose anyone is, really.  Who’s born to go up against such impossible odds?  To live in fear and witness such gruesome horrors?
You know you need them, which is why you don’t push for answers.  Not at first.  But you’re only human, and as the days stretch on in front of you, your ability to blindly trust there’s a reason for this all erodes with every fresh body that’s left in your wake.  
It’s not that they’re heartless.  You see the toll it takes every time they’re forced to ignore a cry for help, or watch another ally sacrifice themselves for the cause.  But you don’t operate this way, on secrets and orders and the greater good, especially when you can’t fathom how you could be part of it.
They’re not a chatty bunch to begin with, but the car is particularly silent after your protest.  Sam’s features are pinched in thought, worry more than anything seeping through the surface.  Dean is not impressed, though he hasn’t said a word.  The seraphim, however, is pissed.
There’s no doubt in your mind if one of the men had lectured you, you’d have simply tuned them out, but there’s no ignoring the seraphim when he’s mad.  Fire and brimstone may not fall from his lips, but there was plenty of Heaven’s wrath in his eyes.  
“What you did was stupid and reckless, and the moment you left this car you put everyone on this planet in jeopardy.”  He thunders, blue burning so fierce it begins to glow.  “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“I didn’t ask for this!” You hiss, jabbing him hard in the center of his trenchcoat, sorely tempted to jump out of the car for the second time that day.    
You flex your free hand, grimacing at their rawness as you briefly wonder if you’ve ever had road rash before.  The zombie bite to the shoulder, however, you’re pretty certain is a new one.  
You move your hand again, the discomfort temporarily distracting you from the persistent, burning throb that’s beginning to spread down your arm.
For someone so important, you’d think they’d do a better job of patching you up.  
Somniphobia
Preview warnings: none
General story tags: one shot (?), canon divergent, dark fic, dark(ish) Gabriel, love triangle
“One.”  A solitary finger appears over the edge of your lorebook, dragging it down to reveal determined shades of gold.  
Even though it’s futile, you have to at least attempt to change the topic.  “One more victim before we hit a double digit body count?”  
As expected, it’s like you haven’t even spoken.  
“One night,” Gabriel insists, using both his hands to push your book flat onto the table. “Let me take you out of this dismal hole in the ground for one evening and do something fun like we used to.”
You sigh, loudly, hoping this might be the time he takes the hint.  He doesn’t, and you end up having to push his grip away from the pages so you can try to go back to reading.  “I’m in the middle of helping Dean.”
“What?  He suddenly out of thumbs and unable to crack a book himself?”  The archangel snarks.  There’s an unusual thrum of impatience beneath his words.  Not that it’s uncommon for him to be irritable these days.  He’s just not usually with you.
“We’re a team,” you remind him.  Not that you’re certain he understands the concept.  He might act like he’s the newest member of Team Free Will, but you have a sneaking suspicion it’s because so far there’s the payoff of finishing his hit list and getting to stick his dick in something.  
“For crying out loud,” he hisses, all pretense of patience vanishing.  “Are you ever gonna come off that?  It was one time.”
Between you, Sam, and Dean, you’re aware of at least three, and you try hard not to think about how high the actual number is if all of you have managed to catch them.  
You’re not certain what upsets you more.  That he’s clearly hit it off with Rowena.  That he’s lying to your face about it, or maybe it’s the likelihood he’s still doing it even as he’s on a mission to rekindle your friendship in what increasingly feels like not so platonic ways.
You know he’s been through a lot.  You know the horrors he’s experienced are the kinds of things that change someone.  You still accept him, whatever variant he may be now, but knowing about Rowena still smarts.  More than you’d like to admit.  More than you know is fair.  Nonetheless, it does, and you’ve had enough disappointment in your life than to want to know how much it will hurt to become just another one night stand to him.
“C’mon, sweetheart, what will it take to convince you to give me a chance?”
You purse your lips, refusing to answer him, no different than the time before, the one before that, or the several before that.
“I need to focus right now.”  End of discussion.
From the corner of your eye you can see his hand raising, fingers poised for that trademark snap.  The moment it echoes around the room you sigh, flipping the book shut and folding your arms over your chest like a sullen child.
You know what he’s done, and as happy as you should be that there is one less monster in the world, you hate it when he swoops in to save the day.  Before, there was a thread of altruism running through most of his actions.  Now, it’s whatever serves his interests in the moment, and another reminder that the Gabriel you knew is gone.
The archangel, on the other hand, looks positively pleased with himself.
“Want to know what it was?”
You look him square in the eye.  "A power move?“
Your not certain what happens in these moments when everything stills and he looks almost unnatural.  It’s too subtle for human perception, but whatever it is makes you incredibly uneasy beyond the brief second it occurs.  
“Thanks for the help, Gabriel,” he smiles brightly, though it’s your voice that comes out of his mouth.  A slightly more sarcastic version, but still you nonetheless.
You scrub at your face, trying to do a hard reset with your mood.  He’s right.  Regardless of his motives, you should be grateful that no one else is going to get hurt.
“I’m sorry.”  You don’t mean to be such an ass.  He just has a way of bringing that out in you these days.  “I’m just tired.  Thank you.”
There’s a pause before his eyes narrow.  “Are you having nightmares again?”
They’re not exactly nightmares.  Night terrors, perhaps, though you think the official term is sleep paralysis.  All of it’s just an easier way of saying you’re such a hot mess that you can’t even manage to wake up from sleep normally.  
They started when you were a kid, and they tend to really ramp up when you’re under stress.   
Which, given your line of work and the company you keep, tends to be a lot.  
What Gabriel doesn’t know is how bad they’ve been since he died… or rather faked his own death and took off to fuck and party his way through existence.  
You’d also like to keep it that way.  
“It’s whatever,” you brush his concern aside.  “I should call Dean and let him know it’s done.”  
You need to get away from him, before your not so subtle pushes to keep him at arm’s length turn into shoves.  The more he tries to pretend like things haven’t changed, the more you resent him and not the monsters responsible for changing him into the warped version of your friend that’s returned.  
You stand up, but you haven’t even taken a step when he catches you by the arm.
“You know you can talk to me, right?”  All pretenses drop.  That soft underbelly of his emerges, in the quiet quality of his voice, resonating beneath his touch as his thumb strokes along your sleeve.
In these rare moments, he almost sounds like himself again, and they never fail to remind you how much you miss him: your Gabriel.  
You catch yourself before you lean into him, but you don’t stop the finger beneath your chin from making you look at him.  
The moment your eyes meet his you immediately regret it.  
There’s nothing there.  No warm flecks of gold.  No playful green.  Nothing but still waters surrounding vacuous depths that scare you with how infinite they seem.  
“I know I messed up.  With a lot of things.  With you.”  His confession is as startling as the emptiness that continues to echo through his gaze.  “But that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped caring.”  
You can’t help but feel like it’s forced, like he’s trying way too hard to be what he thinks you want him to be, and it hurts far more than him sleeping around ever could.  His sincerity is the last vestige of your friend you have to cling to, and if that, too, is gone, you’re not certain you know who is really standing in front of you.  
Soulmates or somniphobia?  Send and ask and let me know!
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orbemnews · 4 years ago
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Europe’s Bankruptcies Are Plummeting. That May Be a Problem. PARIS — Romain Rozier’s cafe should be bankrupt by now. Since the coronavirus hit last spring, sales at the once buzzing lunch spot in northern Paris are down 80 percent. The only customers on a recent day were a couple of UberEats couriers and a handful of people spaced far apart at the counter, ordering takeout. “We’re at death’s door,” Mr. Rozier said, tallying the 300 euros ($365) he had made from the lunch shift, well below the €1,200 he used to pull in. “The only reason we haven’t gone under is because of financial aid.” France and other European countries are spending enormous sums to keep businesses afloat during the worst recession since World War II. But some worry they’ve gone too far; bankruptcies are plunging to levels not seen in decades. While the aid has prevented a surge in unemployment, the largess risks turning swaths of the economy into a kind of twilight zone where firms are swamped with debt they cannot pay off but receiving just enough state aid to stay alive — so-called zombie companies. Unable to invest or innovate, these firms could contribute to what the World Bank recently described as a potential “lost decade” of stagnant economic growth caused by the pandemic. “We need to get off of all of these subsidies at some point — otherwise, we’ll have a zombie economy,” said Carl Bildt, co-chair of the European Council on Foreign Relations and a former prime minister of Sweden. Bankruptcies fell 40 percent last year in France and Britain, and were down 25 percent on average in the European Union. Without government intervention, including billions in state-backed loans and subsidized payrolls, European business failures would have almost doubled last year, according to a study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, a private American organization. At the Commercial Court of Paris, Judge Patrick Coupeaud, who has handled bankruptcy cases for nearly a decade, sees the difference. “I have about a third fewer people coming to me, because many troubled businesses are being helped by the state,” he said, gesturing to the court’s nearly empty colonnaded marble halls. By contrast, Chapter 11 bankruptcy filings in the United States rose in the third quarter to the highest level since the 2010 financial crisis, a trend that is expected to continue in 2021, according to an index compiled by the U.S. law firm Polsinelli. President Biden has proposed a new $1.9 trillion rescue package to combat the economic downturn and the Covid-19 crisis, and last week, the government reported that 900,000 Americans had filed new unemployment claims. Those statistics are shaping a debate over whether Europe’s strategy of protecting businesses and workers “at all costs” will cement a recovery, or leave economies less competitive and more dependent on government aid when the pandemic recedes. “Parts of the misery have only been delayed,” said Bert Colijn, chief eurozone economist at the Dutch bank ING. He added that there would be “a catch-up in bankruptcies” and a spike in unemployment whenever support measures were withdrawn. Analysts say the government programs are already seeding the economy with thousands of inefficient businesses with low productivity, high debt and a high prospect of default once low interest rates normalize. An estimated 10 percent of companies in France were saved from bankruptcy because of government funds, according to Rexecode, a French economic think tank. Letting unviable businesses go under, while painful, will be essential for allowing competitive sectors to thrive, said Jeffrey Franks, the head of the International Monetary Fund’s mission for France. Updated  Jan. 24, 2021, 8:21 p.m. ET A wave of bankruptcies “is not something that’s necessarily so bad,” he said. “It’s part of the normal creative destruction process of regenerating economies.” The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development is urging governments to fine-tune their support measures to ensure a revival in growth. “Failure to do so could hinder the recovery by trapping resources in nonproductive ‘zombie firms’ and jobs,” the organization said in a recent assessment. Most European governments planned to end support last autumn, figuring the coronavirus would be under control. But a second wave of cases has filled hospitals, followed by faster-spreading variants of the virus, all leading to extensions in aid. The European Union late last year approved a recovery package worth €2 trillion. In France, the investments are seen as a way of buying social stability by preventing mass unemployment. The finance minister, Bruno Le Maire, has pledged to maintain the support “as long as the crisis lasts,” a strategy that he described as adding “spirituality” to the economy. Almost no businesses are being left out of the largess if they lobby hard enough — not even French escargot farmers, who recently won a battle for limited financial aid while restaurants that are their main buyers stay closed. As governments’ Covid debts skyrocket, European fiscal rules have been suspended. France is among several countries declaring that they don’t plan to pay down the enormous bill until the economy has mended. For now, financial aid is preventing the collapse of many once-healthy firms whose main misfortune was the pandemic. At the Paris Commercial Court, Judge Coupeaud said the measures had helped avoid a domino effect by encouraging businesses to use state-backed loans and other aid to pay suppliers and debts. France’s bankruptcy system is unlike those in other countries, in that it encourages troubled companies to come forward before default and offers help in negotiating with creditors. “Failure is not a word that the French like to use,” said Dominique-Paul Vallée, the judge at the court in charge of helping business owners avoid bankruptcy. “We prefer to say we are saving companies.” He added that there had been a sharp rise in firms going to him for help. Those that did file for bankruptcy protection in 2020 tended to be big companies with large work forces, such as the retailer Camaïeu, with 3,900 workers, and Alinea, a furniture maker with 2,000 employees. That was a shift from the small and medium-size business cases that the court typically hears. Still, the safety net extends only so far. Countless businesses face mounting debts, declining profitability and a limited capacity to invest the longer the pandemic lasts. Mr. Rozier is a case in point. He started his organic-themed cafe, Make Your Lunch, in 2016 in a bustling business and cultural district. The concept was so successful that he opened a second cafe near the high-traffic Paris Opera. After the pandemic hit, business plunged as offices that housed thousands of workers stood empty and remained largely unoccupied most of the year. The government helped pay the bulk of his employees’ salaries, and Mr. Rozier got a low-interest €30,000 state-backed loan with payments deferred until May, which the government last week extended for a year. After a new national lockdown in October, restaurants like his got an additional €10,000 a month in direct aid. But that money hasn’t made up for months of lost sales. “My treasury is drained,” said Mr. Rozier, who sold his cafe near the opera in the summer and spent much of the government loan paying off suppliers. With 80 percent fewer clients, he is three months behind on his €4,000 monthly rent, and he struggles to pay social security taxes, electricity and other expenses. The government allows restaurants to offer takeout only. Mr. Rozier has become an unofficial spokesman for restaurant owners who demand that the government let them seat patrons again, with social distancing, to survive. After the New Year’s holiday break, he said, his morale slumped when he reopened the business. “I waited. And I waited. And three people came in the door,” Mr. Rozier said. “At this point, there is a real danger I will have to close within a couple of months,” he continued. “I’d rather sell the business than have to go to bankruptcy court.” Two of his friends, also restaurant owners, have already declared bankruptcy. “There are many more that will follow in their footsteps,” Mr. Rozier said. “That we know for sure.” Antonella Francini contributed reporting. Source link #Bankruptcies #Europes #Plummeting #Problem
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docboots · 7 years ago
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On Hereditary Angioedema and Medical Marijuana
     I was born with this rare disease that only really started getting problematic when I was a teenager, and has been getting worse as the years go by. It is called Hereditary Angioedema (HAE for short). It isn’t very well known, and it has a number of triggers. The most notable is stress. Physical stress will likely cause a reaction in the area (say I get hit in the hand, my hand will be affected), while mental stress causes life to play a bit of a wheel of fortune game with me. I liken it to being deathly allergic to stress, even if there are other triggers and it isn’t an allergy really. Antihistamines and other medications for allergies just don’t do anything. Minus make me sleepy. Likely in too much pain to sleep, so my attempts to summon the Sandman and capture him in a cage to answer for ding dong ditching me is just added to the list. Comparing it to an allergy is just the simplest way to describe it.
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     Much like how a bee allergy is often depicted, my limbs, organs, and even more..sensitive areas can swell to 2-3 times their size. This is painful and annoying at its best, debilitating normally, and can be fatal at its worse. It seems to hit everyone differently, which isn’t surprising given that stress is a factor and everyone is unique in that regard, and with me the potentially fatal area that likes to torment me most is the gastrointestinal system. Annoyingly, I also have what some with HAE call ‘wandering swelling’. So, say my hand swells up. This normally lasts for 2-5 days. As the swelling goes down, it will ‘move’ to the forearm. As it goes through its process, it can them more to my bicep or, oddly, to my other arm.
     To add to this, I have ADHD. The variant that is especially prone to hyperactivity. You may be under the assumption that a hyperactive person is basically Daffy Duck when he has lost it. ‘Woohoo! Hoho! Woohoo!’ Running everywhere, interacting with everything. Robin Williams on stage is another way to describe it. I am the guy that meth addicts have mistaken for being on crack or meth. I have never touched anything harder than Pot, and that is for medical reasons. Stone sober people think I am one something and pissy, as I talk a mile a minute.
     Here is the thing, least with my type, even when we are calmly sitting down, our thoughts are pumping. Our minds are going a mile a minute. Every sound, every bit of movement. We might not make a visual note of it, but somewhere in our minds, we have examined every aspect of it. Stressing out over it, freaking out about it. To put it simply, I am not 100% certain I know what it truly means to chill. I know being relaxed, but I know ME being relaxed. Which still tends to involve my mind ripping some subject apart. Just depends on what I feed it. I am always stressed.
The kicker is because they are afraid that I am going to go off and sell ADHD medicine instead of, you know, use it for the disorder it was invented for, I have been unable to find someone who will prescribe an Adult like me medication. I have trouble even finding someone who will diagnose me. I was diagnosed and treated with countless ADHD medicines as a kid. It was just one I became a teenager that the medical profession decided my mental health did not outweigh the potential they couldn’t trust me not to sell my medication. So, as of writing this, I have been unable to find official assistance on ADHD for nearly a decade, if not more. Not without lack of trying.
     Going to the doctor has proven only helpful in these cases where I could potentially die from my body’s overreaction to stress. The only medication they will offer me are these steroids that drove my birth mother, with the same disorder, mental. Kinda happens when you have to take steroids for the rest of your life I hear! Luckily, as with most people on the west coast, I had friends who smoked pot!
     Turns out, with my mixture of ADHD and traumatic childhood/adult experiences, that shit evens me out. Instead of countless different medications flung at me with side effects including: Sparking my HAE like crazy, that lovely feeling of being a mental zombie, feeling claustrophobic in a meadow, INTENSE CAPS DEMANDING IRRITABILITY, and potential organ failure; I get the munchies. Maybe more into Steven Universe and Adventure Time than is healthy at my age.
     Problem is that in order the get this magical medicine I have to go through all these forms and pay quite a bit of money (sometimes they quote $85, sometimes $500. I get fired from jobs for this disability before I can even remember my manager’s name, so that ain’t happening. Don’t even get a discount off the meds! Just the POTENTIAL to not be fired for the medication. Yet I can easily get a prescription for this medication that’ll make me gain possibly 5 new mental disorders in the process and go postal and medical insurance will pay off every bit of that. Doctors even agree with me on this, but they can only apologize that they aren’t allowed to give a prescription. Only recommend it. That isn’t their fault, the fact it is still considered more dangerous than cocaine. I consider it far safer than Prozac. Especially if mixed with other medicines.
     Now it is recreationally legal! Hooray. You can’t read my tone. Let me try again, Hoo-fuckin-ray.
     You see, a problem with it being legal, yet still being unable to afford the cost of that ‘recommendation’ then you are just another guy wanting to smoke up. The deals for medicinal weed painted everywhere while you still can’t afford the subscription fee for the price.
     “It is worth it in the savings!” The counter said. Tell me, would you feel comfortable hearing that when the context is the medicine keeping you stable both physically and mentally? When you still have to pay for the medication but at a discounted price, why doesn’t all the evidence showing this would assist me get me that card? That card that would have saved me a world of stress when I had to hold the label of criminal just for waiting for a business minded self starter (we give our dealers many names to make it feel less horrible. I am partial to medicine man!) in an alley or a parking lot hoping no one has realized you have been sitting in that car an hour, and have done so every week for months. That is, if you are lucky enough to find a dealer who won't ghost you, cancel at the last moment (as in an hour after when you were supposed to meet them), or just run out.
     When it was made legal, I sat in lines with others who couldn’t afford the medical card while the more vocal, the ones here just to get high, talk about all the amazing stuff they can afford. How shatter and dabs are fantastic, how all these different edibles and strains work. While I, thanks to my incredibly understanding and supportive Dad, have $20 for that week, and the next, and the next. I have to string that $20 out as long as I can. Not for any fault of my Dad’s, there are still other bills that must be paid. The help he has given me so far is enough the guy deserves a medal or a statue in my eyes, but taxes can really make something that is already rather pricy quite high. So it is depressing, frustrating, and potentially soul destroying to see your medication evolve from political punching bag to cash cow, while still falling into the cracks.
     But those munchies are gonna just destroy America, right guys?
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quiltdeer52-blog · 6 years ago
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Genetic Adaptations to Neolithic Foods – Understanding Bioindividuality
While many foods are clearly health-promoting or clearly harmful (when we look at the full scope of the scientific evidence), some are more ambiguous in terms of their effects on human health. Whether foods such as high-quality dairy (see The Great Dairy Debate and Goat Milk: The Benefits of A2 Dairy), legumes (see 3 Myths About Legumes — Busted! and The Green Bean Controversy and Pea-Gate), and natural sweeteners (see Natural Sugars and their Place in Paleo) are damaging, neutral, or beneficial is far from case-closed and depends largely on individual tolerance and the overall context of our health.
Yes, humans absolutely have adapted, at least somewhat, to the dietary changes that came with the advent of agriculture. But we’re not fully adapted to our modern diets, as demonstrated by the links between diet and epidemics of chronic disease.
Which factors affect how our bodies react to specific foods? Major inputs to our health in general, including the nutrient density of our diet (see The Importance of Nutrient Density), sleep quantity and quality (see Sleep and Disease Risk: Scarier than Zombies! and Sleep Requirements and Debt: How do you know how much sleep you need?), stress (see How Stress Undermines Health), and physical activity (see The Benefits of Gentle Movement and The Importance of Exercise)—can affect how our bodies react to compounds in foods. A lot more is unknown than known in terms of specific mechanisms, but it’s safe to generalize that our bodies are more tolerant of suboptimal foods when we’re well rested, our stress levels are low, we live an active lifestyle, we have healthy gut microbiota (see What Is the Gut Microbiome? And Why Should We Care About It?), and we aren’t deficient in any nutrients. Because these inputs can fluctuate even when we’re trying to keep everything dialed in—stress levels may go up with an approaching deadline, or gut microbiota may be impacted by a course of antibiotics, for example—it can sometimes feel like identifying which foods work (or don’t work) for us is a moving target. Layered underneath this variability are the more stable effects of genetics.
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Genetic variation certainly accounts for some differences between individuals when it comes to which foods our bodies can tolerate. An oft-cited rationale for the Paleo diet is that the mere 10,000-ish years that have elapsed since the agricultural revolution is an insufficient amount of time for genetic adaptation to consuming grains, legumes, and dairy as dietary staples compared to the 4 million years of human evolution that preceded this massive dietary shift from foods that were hunted and gathered to foods that could be grown and harvested. However, this rationale doesn’t hold up under scientific scrutiny.
Genetic Adaptation since Agriculture
While the human body has not adapted enough for us to thrive on the modern Western diet (if it had, we wouldn’t be seeing chronic illness rising to epidemic proportions with such clear correlations and mechanistic links to various dietary factors), some genetic adaptations are apparent. A recent study sequenced the genomes of 230 ancient humans living in West Eurasia between 6500 BC, when farming first arrived in that area of the world, and 300 BC, analyzing for evidence of genetic adaptation driven by natural selection to the new environments, pathogens, diets, and social organizations that farming wrought. The researchers found twelve areas of the genome where substantial genetic adaptations were apparent. While the function of some of these genes remains unknown, some relate to physical characteristics like height, skin pigmentation, and eye color. More relevant to this discussion, others relate to diet, metabolism, and immune function.
The most evident genetic adaptation is lactase persistence, spurred by the advent of animal husbandry, which allowed non-human milk to become an accessible food. Before this adaptation, humans produced only the enzyme lactase, which digests the milk sugar lactose, until weaning age. However, starting around 4,000 years ago, a substantial proportion of Europeans continued to produce lactase into adulthood. Now, approximately 95 percent of people of northern European descent have lactase persistence, but only 10 percent of those of Asian or African descent continue to produce lactase into adulthood. Because this genetic adaptation has been driven by dairy consumption, variations in lactase persistence in different cultures is attributable both to how big a role dairy played in the traditional diets of these cultures and to how long ago dairy cows or goats were domesticated in these regions. Lactase persistence is an excellent example of genetic adaptation to new foods over a very short time, evolutionarily speaking.
Other genetic adaptations to the dietary shift that came with agriculture are also apparent, although the implications are not as well understood. Two adaptations relate to fatty acid metabolism, one affecting plasma lipid and fatty acid concentration and the other causing decreased serum triglyceride levels (see The Paleo Diet for Cardiovascular Disease). Another adaptation relates to circulating vitamin D levels, likely relating to a variation in dietary or environmental sources of vitamin D (see Vitamin D).
Another relevant adaptation to agriculture is evident in the gene encoding the major histocompatibility complex, the HLA gene. As discussed in How Gluten (and other Prolamins) Damage the Gut, even non-celiacs with either the HLA-DQ2 or the HLA-DQ8 gene variant secrete excess zonulin in response to gluten consumption, unraveling the tight junctions between enterocytes and causing increased intestinal permeability (see also What Is A Leaky Gut? (And How Can It Cause So Many Health Issues?)). Well, these gene variants, associated with increased risk for ulcerative colitis, celiac disease, and irritable bowel syndrome, are believed to have hitchhiked onto an adaptation to protect against ergothioneine deficiency in agricultural diets. Ergothioneine is a naturally occurring antioxidant amino acid that our bodies can’t produce, so we must get it from our diets, the highest food sources being edible fungi and organ meat (yet another reason Why Everyone Should Be Eating Organ Meat). The full role of ergothioneine in human health remains unknown.
Aside: Some common gene variants of HLA are believed to come from Neanderthals breeding with Homo sapiens around 30,000 years ago. These Neanderthal variants are believed to have given modern humans an immune advantage in fighting off infections. Cool, right?
There are other heritable genes that influence how our bodies respond to individual foods representing genetic adaptation that has occurred over a much longer time. For example, AMY1 copy number affects how our bodies respond to starch-rich diets; the more copies of this gene we have, the more salivary alpha-amylase, a starch-digesting enzyme found in saliva, we produce. In fact, humans generally produce six to eight times more alpha-amylase than our chimpanzee cousins, who have only two copies of AMY1. If you are of Japanese or European descent, where starchy foods have long been dietary staples, you have a 70 percent chance of having six or more copies of AMY1. But if you harken from a culture with a traditionally low-starch diet, like the Inuit, you have only a 37 percent chance of having six or more copies of AMY1.
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Other Factors Impacting Our Responses to Various Foods
Yes, we have adapted, at least somewhat, to the dramatic dietary shift caused by the advent of agriculture. And in the face of this evidence, it would be ignorant to state that no one can thrive on a diet containing grains, legumes, and dairy or to state that everyone should avoid gluten for life. Of course, no gluten-containing or wheat-based food is a nutritional powerhouse (see Gluten-Free Diets Can Be Healthy for Kids), but we see a spectrum in terms of the effects of consuming the inflammatory prolamins and agglutinins present in wheat (see also How Gluten (and other Prolamins) Damage the Gut and Are all lectins bad? (and what are lectins, anyway?)). Individual sensitivity ranges from the severe and life-threatening damage caused in celiac disease sufferers, to the more subtle effects on intestinal permeability seen in non-celiacs with HLA-DQ2 or HLA-DQ8 gene variants, to examples of Blue Zone cultures in which homemade traditionally prepared whole-wheat bread is a dietary staple (see also Genes to Know About: Celiac Genes and Gluten Cross-Reactivity: How your body can still think you’re eating gluten even after giving it up.). This wide range of responses is partly attributable to genetics, but other aspects of our modern diet and lifestyles are also culprits. In fact, whether we are genetically adapted to eating wheat or dairy may be moot in the context of nutrient deficiency, poor gut health, high stress, and insufficient sleep—yeah, how most of us Westerners live our day-to-day lives.
Nutrient deficiency is definitely a contributor to how our bodies respond to specific foods. Not only are nutrient deficiencies themselves strongly linked to chronic diseases because the immune system requires so many nutrients to function well (see The Importance of Nutrient Density and 3 Ways to Up Your Nutrient Game), but they are specifically linked to sensitivities and intolerances to various foods. Salicylate sensitivity, for example, may be purely a consequence of omega-3 fatty acid and zinc deficiency (see What is Salicylate Sensitivity/Intolerance?). Zinc deficiency exaggerates the increase in activity of tissue transglutaminase in response to gluten consumption, thereby modulating the immune response to gluten as well as the likelihood of forming antibodies against tissue transglutaminase (see Why Grains Are Bad, Part 1, Lectins and the Gut).
Gut health is also a determinant of how the body responds to foods. This is, of course, most apparent when things go wrong. For example, histamine intolerance (see Histamine Intolerance), arises when there is a greater proportion of gut bacteria that convert the amino acid histadine into histamine and/or when the gut enterocytes do not produce sufficient deamine oxidase (DAO) to detoxify histamine (which may be due to poor enterocyte health, genetic mutations, or consumption of foods or drugs such as alcohol or antibiotics that interfere with DAO activity). When the gut barrier is leaky, the immune system is exposed to a greater amount of intact or only partially digested food proteins, increasing the likelihood of developing an allergic reaction (where IgE antibodies are formed against a food protein) or intolerance (where IgG, IgA, IgM, or IgD antibodies are formed against a food protein). And when our gut microbial community is out of balance, we can experience a variety of symptoms from eating specific foods, as in the painful bloating and other gastrointestinal symptoms that can occur in people with small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO; see Modifying Paleo for Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO)) after they consume foods rich in fermentable fibers and starches.
Both high stress and inadequate sleep increase insulin resistance (see 3 Ways to Regulate Insulin that Have Nothing to Do With Food), so the body is less able to handle spikes in blood glucose after eating a carbohydrate-rich meal or snack. Both high stress and inadequate sleep have direct detrimental effects on gut health and immune health, potentially magnifying immune reactions to foods or compounding issues like SIBO.
Respecting Bioindividuality
The Paleo framework is not about making unequivocal rules about which foods shall be included in or excluded from your diet. Instead, the Paleo framework respects our wide-ranging individual differences and remains flexible to further refinement as new scientific studies increase our understanding of the relationship between human health, diet, lifestyle, and our environment. Thus it is essential not just to provide you with a detailed education on the various health-promoting versus health-undermining compounds in different foods, but also to give you the tools to identify which foods work for you.  My best resource for an in-depth discussion on how foods impact our health is Paleo Principles.
Citations
Luca F, Perry GH, Di Rienzo A. Evolutionary adaptations to dietary changes. Annu Rev Nutr. 2010 Aug 21;30:291-314. doi: 10.1146/annurev-nutr-080508-141048. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4163920/
Mathieson I et al, Genome-wide patterns of selection in 230 ancient Eurasians. Nature. 2015 Dec 24;528(7583):499-503. doi: 10.1038/nature16152. Epub 2015 Nov 23. https://www.nature.com/articles/nature16152
Source: https://www.thepaleomom.com/genetic-adaptations-to-neolithic-foods-understanding-bioindividuality/
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grabey · 8 years ago
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You might recognise the colourful magical land, strange characters and distinctive voices but dismissed it as yet more throwaway kiddie fare.
Or, perhaps you noticed that the abstract themes and storylines actually go a little deeper than your usual children’s shows.
Adventure Time is now a cult classic enjoyed by viewers of all ages but sadly, it’s been confirmed that this fun and popular show will end in 2018.
There is still time to get on board though (season 8 is imminent in the UK), and there are plenty of episodes to re-run until your little one’s eyes go square.
But just what’s going on behind that trippy animation set in the Land of Ooo, and should have you have cause for concern?
Here’s what you need to know.
Who’s in it and what’s it about?
Jake the dog and Finn the human are the leads.
They are best friends who go on many adventures, usually involving their odd mates, and get into various scrapes.
These two are adorable, flawed in a human way (they make mistakes and get into danger but friendship and courage wins out), plus they learn about feelings along the way.
They do, however, seem to live in a land without rules or boundaries – much like your imagination.
Plus, there are a host of princesses (who are possible love interests for Finn), the grumpy Ice King, Lady Rainicorn (a rainbow hued creature who only speaks Korean), BMO (a useful living device) and plenty of other strange or cute animal like characters.
Worrying themes
Marceline is a vampire. She has fangs, eats souls and was initially a considerable adversary. But now, she is one of Finn’s greatest friends.
The Ice King is considered to be ‘mad’ and does come up with strangely violent schemes, he also kidnaps princesses in order to marry them – the princesses always escape or are rescued.
The flipside of the story is the Ice King is sad and lonely, and going about his desires in the wrong way.
There are also ghosts, zombies and demons.
And The Lich is a terrifying undead king (but appears rarely).
Other adult themes
Characters have girlfriends and boyfriends and much is made of attractiveness and getting married.
There are also some innuendos about taking relationships further though that might be over the head for younger viewers, and some characters do kiss and hug and smooch.
Lumpy Space Princess, for example, has a particularly checkered romantic history.
Characters text on phones and insult each other in wildly creative ways, and they have their own curse words (which are quite funny) but you might hear a ‘butt’ or that something ‘sucks’.
There is quite a bit of violence, mainly comic in tone but sometimes it does feel a little serious.
They do use weapons (such as swords and flame guns) but mainly against the more magical or unreal creatures.
Some of the episodes can get quite dark, but problem-solving usually wins out – no matter how bizarre the reasoning.
Oh and there are plenty of gross fluids and sweet foodstuffs.
Conspiracy theories
Of course, such a complex world and open-ended storylines have attracted theorists – the internet is stuffed full of strange ideas about the show and if your child starts investigating, they could stumble across them.
For example, the Land Of Ooo is a post-apocalyptic land and its inhabitants are mutant survivors of a nuclear disaster called The Mushroom War.
The landscape has hidden clues – such as bombs – that support this and the discovery of real human zombies hidden under the sea has probably proven this to be true.
Or it’s actually all a dream.
Finn is in a coma after a suicide attempt following the death of his beloved dog Jake and now just creates adventures for them in his mind.
Or Jake the dog is a drug taker and the whole show is a series of LSD trips and the Ice King has dementia and/or depression.
Fans will certainly be hoping for some resolution or revelation when the show finishes.
Or maybe it should be left as it is without answer or reason?
Should your children be watching it?
Adventure Time has been heavily censored to pass for younger UK audiences and can be safely watched by anyone over the age of 10.
Younger kids might not get the more adult or subtle references but the random absurdity of the show in general should set it apart from reality for most children.
Plus, the colourful graphics, singing and dancing, and larger than life characters are certainly entertaining.
The show is fun and engaging and stuffed full of irony and knowing references that older kids will love.
It’s also wildly inventive and edgy, which is what will keep modern children – used to digital devices, the internet and horror tropes – watching.
Writer: Alice Wright for Metro.co.uk
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