#cause the workload is really huge

[seadem-on]

.

[reasonsforhope]

"Tilia is a vest-wearing conservation dog that the 444-acre [Mequon] nature preserve relies on for vital conservation and restoration work.

The dog’s responsibilities include sniffing out invasive and endangered species in the prairies, forests, and wetlands of Mequon.

Conservation dogs have become more commonplace in wildlife organizations, tapping into their astonishing scent-detecting abilities.

“Dogs in general already have up to 200 million olfactory sensors,” Cory Gritzmacher, the director of operations at the nature preserve, told Wisconsin Life.

Humans, on the other hand, have about 5 million.

“[Dogs are] already set up and designed for scent detection,” Gritzmacher added. “It’s really just finding a dog that’s motivated, that wants to do it on a regular basis and is excited to do it.”

Tilia was the pup for the job.

One of her main roles is to detect wild parsnip, an invasive species that staff removes once it is found on the property.

Compared to humans, Tilia can find parsnip in its first year, while it’s still close to the ground and camouflaged by other plants. This is vital, since parsnip will start to spread rapidly by the time it reaches its second season in the preserve. 

Studies show that the estimated damage caused by invasive species has cost the United States around $120 billion annually, as it impacts agriculture, recreational industries, and wildlife management. 

By catching invasive species that take hold of local flora and fauna early, Tilia achieves something no humans can.

“The best trained volunteers or staff in the world won’t even be able to find what a canine can,” Gritzmacher said. “That’s the pretty impressive part of it. And who doesn’t want to go to work with a dog?” ...

Tilia began training as a puppy, and now nearly seven years old, she’s a pro at scent detection — which all started with some treats hidden in cardboard boxes...

“As she continues to hit on the correct scent, then she gets rewarded. So, she’s going to get paid again. We do our work, we get paid. She does her work, she gets paid.”

Tilia can also spot Blue-Spotted and Easter Tiger Salamanders, which are endangered in the area. Her other scents include Wood Turtle and Garlic Mustard.

Of course, her workload remains balanced with time off. Her official owner is the director of Mequon Nature Preserve, who is happy to embrace her as the family dog when she’s not out sniffing.

But Gritzmacher, who trains and works alongside Tilia, adores her, not only for her companionship, but for the miracles she is able to work as an asset to Wisconsin’s conservationists.

“Canines are going to start to play a huge role in the conservation field just because of their amazing detection skills,” Gritzmacher said, “especially when resources are limited, staff is limited and you have to search potentially thousands of acres or miles.”

In fact, Tilia was joined by a partner in crime a few years ago: Timber, another chocolate lab who is actually the offspring of Tilia’s sister.

By following in her pawprints, Timber’s “powerful nose will be a key tool” in the preserve’s “land restoration efforts,” according to its website.

“For years, scientists have tried to replicate the power and efficiency of the canine nose,” Mequon Nature Preserve adds on a webpage for Tilia and Timber.

“The results keep coming back the same: The canine nose is second to none. Coupled with an insatiable desire to work and serve, Tilia and Timber help us find things humans often can’t.���"

-via GoodGoodGood, December 2, 2024

[that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict]

"She's a regular here..."

Drug Dealer!Seonghwa x f!reader

CW: mentions of drug dealing/usage (seonghwa smokes), drug dealers!seonghwa and hongjoong, slight fluff, !!SMUT!! (unprotected sex, pls stay safe!!!), reader n seonghwa are dating, seonghwa fucks reader in his fur coat lol , not really proofread?? Idk I tried

My first time trying to write a proper smut scene 😭😭 I hope its okay omg. Wrote this cuz @/ygswl on instagram (best ateez editor btw) brought up the concept of drug dealer! Seonghwa ARGHHHH. I wanted to write a more intense, concept-heavy smut scene but I js tried my best since I'm not familar with smut writing💔💔

Edit: Part 2 is out!!!

Part 3 is out!!!

"Fuck..." Seonghwa groaned, breathing out a puff of wispy smoke. He leaned his head back against the couch as he clocked in the sight of jumbled notes on his mahogany wood coffee table. Orders from customers. Usually, he would've been able to keep up with them, no problem. But there had recently been a huge surge of calls, requesting for the new, trending drug: ARRIBA. And as part of the most reputable dealers in the area, MATZ, he was well-expected to have the best supply. He irritably grinded his teeth together, pre-installed Grillz provided a light, screeching noise.

Taking another drag from his rolled cigarette, his ears perked up at the sound of the door opening. "Hwa, what are you doing?" Seonghwa's business partner, Kim Hongjoong, walked into the shabby makeshift office. Seonghwa didn't reply, merely staring blankly at the ceiling as he absentmindedly played with the blunt in his fingers. Meanwhile, Hongjoong's eyes lingered on the stack of order forms, and he gave a stern look to his tattooed counterpart. "I asked you a question, Park Seonghwa." "What? I'm fucking exhausted from taking calls and names. I've been at it since 11, give me a break." He jerked his head towards a wall clock behind him. A quarter past 3pm.

It had always been this way with the duo. Ever since they started their underground business as barely legal adults, Hongjoong dealt with supplies, and Seonghwa would deal with the customers and their orders. 2 young men in struggling financial situations, who were desperate to make ends meet, starting a drug-dealing business together, it worked out strangely well. This also, despite their constant bickering, formed a strong bond between the two.

Hongjoong rolled his eyes at the response. "Whatever, sure." He tilted his head, eyes settling on the faux fur coat that rested on a chair beside the couch. "Is that new?" "Yeah... I picked it up after getting the payment for that huge order earlier this week." "Ohh, the order for that college frat party?" Seonghwa nodded silently in response, his eyes beginning to glaze over. "Anyways, Yunho says we can expect restock within the next week. ARRIBA's selling out fast, but we can finish these orders right away once the new shipment arrives." Hongjoong rattled off an imaginary list, giving a reassuring pat on the shoulder to his partner. Seonghwa was unresponsive, clearly stressed out from the recent increase in workload, but Hongjoong knew he was listening. Although, that didn't stop him from doing what he was about to do. "You shouldn't keep using this, by the way. It's reaaaally bad for you." With that, he leaned forward and snatched the smoking blunt from his partner's fingers.

Seonghwa hastily whipped his head around, sighing internally at Hongjoong's classic shit-eating grin. He furrowed his eyebrows at the realisation that he had given the man the satisfaction of getting a reaction. "I'm stressed, man. Gotta relax somehow." "I don't think you'll need your weed when your favourite 'regular' is here, though." Hongjoong tilted his head towards the office door, calling out in a singsong voice. "Y/N, you can come in now~"

The mention of your name caused Seonghwa's eyes to immediately light up. He scrambled to snatch the cigarette back from Hongjoong, and quickly crushed it with his heel.

Just a quiet, veterinary student that he had met in a cafe 3 years ago, Seonghwa had adored you from the very beginning. You were the cashier taking his order, nervous on your first day, and fumbling a little with the cash register's buttons. Seonghwa had found your clumsy nature both alluring and endearing, and he had asked you out on a date right away. The two of you had hit it off, and a beautiful relationship bloomed from then on. Even when you found out Seonghwa's line of work, you understood his situation and never judged him for it. It didn't make you love him any less. He would often spoil you with gifts and spend as much time as possible with you. Your college classes and his odd working hours would clash often, but you still found time to drop by his office to visit him. After all, it was quite easy to locate your drug dealer boyfriend. He mostly stayed in his office, only occasionally going out with Hongjoong when they had a large shipment coming in or a customer that wanted to deal in-person. Thus the nickname that Hongjoong gave to you: Seonghwa's Favourite 'Regular'. Despite your support for his business, Seonghwa still hated doing or dealing drugs around you, especially cigarettes. It was part of his line of work, and he was used to it, but he would always quickly put out a blunt or stash away powdery white packets when you visited.

"Seonghwa~ I'm here to visit you! My class today was cancelled, so my afternoon is free," you hummed as you walked into the room in your red checkered pants and (Seonghwa's) oversized hoodie. You offered a smile to Hongjoong, who was already on his way out to give you two some privacy. He winked at Seonghwa just before he walked out the doorway, shutting the door behind him.

Seonghwa's gaze softened as you crashed onto his form on the couch, snuggling into his exposed collarbone. "I missed you..." "I missed you too, sweetheart... you've been so busy with classes lately, I haven't seen you for a full week. Do you even love me anymore?" He sighed dramatically, earning a muffled laugh from you. "My finals are coming up, Hwa. Been rushing my deadlines and finishing up on revision. I gotta do this to earn my veterinary certification, hm?" "Well, anytime you wanna quit your course and live with me 24/7, I'll take care of you. Nothing would make me happier to, actually. MATZ has been doing so well recently." He puffed up his chest. You found it cute whenever he was protective like this. "Okay, Hwa. I'll keep you posted." The two of you settled into comfortable silence.

The quietness and stillness in the air suddenly made him very aware of your movements. He raised his eyebrows when he realised you were being touchier than usual. Your hands were roaming his shoulders, tracing circles over his neck tattoo and gold chains that sat above his unbuttoned collar. The occasional shift of your hips didn't go unnoticed by the tattooed man, either. Seonghwa experimentally slid a veiny hand under your hoodie, blushing when he felt your bare back, marking the absence of a bra strap.

"Sweetheart, are you-"

"Mhm... needy for you, Hwa."

"Oh-- we're in my office now, though, Hongjoong could hear us..."

"Wouldn't you like that?"

Seonghwa's face heated up at the thought of his partner overhearing the two of you. The possibility someone else, especially his best friend/business partner, hearing the two of you fucking in his office turned him on. A lot.

His shy expression quickly changed to a dominant, cockier one. Quickly pinning you onto the couch, he connected his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. He tasted like smoke and the cherry lip gloss you had bought him a month ago, and you loved it. You wrapped your arms around his neck, effectively hoisting yourself up, before pulling away from his lips to kiss and lick at the tattoo scrawled across his neck. Seonghwa groaned at the feeling, his eyes glazing over and landing on his fluffy, new fur coat that was draped on the nearby chair. A devious idea popped into his head.

"Sweetheart, wait... I wanna do something." You stopped sucking at the 'A' on his neck and tilted your head curiously at him. He tugged at the hem of your hoodie, his eye contact with you searching for consent. You let him, of course. You trusted him. He lifted off your hoodie right away, sucking in a breath at the sight of your bare torso. "My pretty girl," he sighed, making you flush a bright red hue. Seonghwa leaned forward to leave a kiss on your breasts and gestured you to take off your pants, before getting off the couch, seemingly to get something. You sat confused, naked except for your dark blue panties, until you saw him grab the fur coat on the chair beside the couch.

The faux fur brushed against your skin as Seonghwa helped you put it on. It was huge, heavy and fluffy, covering everything yet nothing on your bare figure. He stepped back to take you in, a guttural moan leaving his throat at the sight of you naked form practically drowning underneath the fluffy mass of fabric. You, on the other hand, were aching for his touch. A whole week of being apart from your lover, deprived of his love, his intimacy, deprived of him. He noticed your pouty lips and squirming, and chuckled teasingly.

"Can't wait, sweetheart?"

You were about to nod in response, but was cut off when you felt a long finger being pressed against your moist folds. A whiny gasp slipped out of your mouth, and your hands scrambled to find support on Seonghwa's strong forearms. He smiled as he lightly rubbed circles on your clit through the thin fabric of your panties, your whines sounding like music to his chain-adorned ears. "Hwa...hurry, I want your dick in me already," you panted out. Seonghwa scoffed teasingly at your impatient tone. "Patience, sweetheart, I need to prep you first."

His expert fingers tugged aside the fabric covering your pussy, exposing yourself to him fully. Two fingers were pushed into your aching hole, causing you to arch your back at the feeling. Breathless moans filled the room as he curled and thrusted his fingers into you at a torturously slow pace. He knew you were sensitive, and it was driving you crazy how slow he was going.

"H-Hwa..."

"Shhh, I know."

The building knot in your tummy snapped, and you came undone on your lover's long fingers. But just as you began to catch your breath, Seonghwa leaned down to lick up your juices. The cold metal of his grillz shot through your core, drawing out a high-pitched cry from you.

Blinking back tears from the overstimulation, you glanced down at your boyfriend. He was sitting comfortably between your legs, lips and grillz teeth shiny with your arousal, mouth spread in a loving grin as if he didn't just finger-fuck you to an orgasm.

He got up and kissed a tear rolling down your cheek. "I'm sorry, baby, I just had to tease you a little. I'll give you what you want now." Seonghwa picked you up and shifted you to a more comfortable spot on the couch, the heavy coat's fur swishing quietly as he did so. You shivered as the fur brushed against your nipples, perky from being exposed to the surrounding air.

There was a light clunk of a belt buckle, followed by a zipping noise, before Seonghwa finally pressed his pretty cock against your bare stomach, earning a sigh of relief from you. You licked your lips at the sight of his flushed, hard member. "Did you miss me or did you miss my dick?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow when you stared for a little too long. You whined back, and he sighed in defeat before pressing his cock into your entrance, already wet and lubricated from him fingering you open earlier.

"F-fuck! So warm..." Seonghwa hissed as his cock sank into you. You cried out, reaching out to bury your face into his neck when he started to thrust in and out of you. Sloppy slaps of skin, whiny moans, curses and the occasional swish of faux fur against leather filled the room as Seonghwa fucked you into the couch. The air reeked of hot sex and cigarette smoke, but neither of you minded. He gazed lovingly at you through his lashes, admiring how you looked in his fur coat, with his dick in you. The possessiveness that you two had for each other always made him hard whenever it showed.

He winced when you clenched on him particularly hard. "Oh s-shit- you like my cock? You like your drug dealer boyfriend's cock?" You nodded hastily, drool beginning to form on the side of your lips. Seonghwa smirked, but was barely keeping his composure at the sight of you so cock-drunk. He pulled you in with his free hand for a kiss, heavy metal rings on his fingers squishing your face and making your breath hitch involuntarily. The lingering taste of tobacco on his lips made you moan, eyes glazing over from pleasure as his tongue pushed past your lips to invade your mouth.

It wasn't long before both of you came undone. You sighed breathily as your second orgasm formed a ring of white liquid around Seonghwa's dick, and he quickly pulled out to cum onto your bare stomach. Still panting from his orgasm, he gathered some of his fluids onto his fingers, and stuffed your mouth with them. You hummed appreciatively in response, suckling his fingers clean as he admired your flushed, fucked-out expression.

♡♡♡

"Yah, I was only out for awhile! What did you guys do??" Hongjoong snickered an hour later as he waltzed into the room and over to the couch. He quickly clamped a hand over his mouth when Seonghwa shot a stern look at him, index finger pressed to his lips as if to say "shut the fuck up you big-mouthed minion". His other hand was wrapped around your sleeping figure, still naked but bundled up in his fur coat and shielded from Hongjoong's eyes.

Hongjoong raised his hands, exaggeratingly mouthing a "sorry!" that his best friend scoffed quietly at. Seonghwa rolled his eyes and returned his gaze back to you. His heart warmed at the peaceful look you had in your sleep, but his dick stirred at the sight of you covered by nothing but his oversized fur coat. Needless to say, he was definitely giving you a round 2 once you woke up.

If you've managed to read this far, thank you so much for reading my fanfic! 🙏 I hope you enjoyed it 😭

[cryiling]

thinking about that bkdk edating in middle school trope, except they're amino boyfriends 💀

they meet on an all might amino community. katsuki is one of the community mods, and izuku is the leader of an analysis club on there. izuku's posts were often featured and very popular in the community (he was def a microcelebrity), and katsuki always gave him a ton of amino coins on his posts.

for a challenge he's hosting for his club, izuku makes a huge deep-dive post analyzing all might's rise to fame in his bronze age. this post gets close to 10k likes, and katsuki gifts him 5k amino coins on the post. when izuku sees that number, he freaks out and assumes it must be a mistake since that's a huge number, who in their right mind would give him that much money??

he messages katsuki (who's username is 𝓓𝔂𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 ⛓️💥) (LMAOOOOO) and asks if the amount of coins was a mistake + offers to give them back. katsuki tells him that there was no mistake, and that he just really liked izuku's post. izuku is really flattered that this guy liked his analysis so much, and they continue texting back and forth for a while.

they follow each other and put each other in their bios under "bffs," and a month or two after that, they officially become boyfriends. izuku buys amino+ using all the coins katsuki had given him (katsuki keeps spending his allowance to buy more amino coins so he's super rich). they start matching profile themes after that, switching to a new theme every month. they have matching profile frames and chat bubbles and everything, and izuku makes a sticker pack of all might faces to use when texting katsuki (sometimes katsuki uses the stickers too, but only when texting izuku)

everyone on all might amino knows they're dating, since they're both such high-profile people in the community. they become the community's it-couple, and people love commenting on their walls how cute their matching profiles are. katsuki comments under all of izuku's posts praising his analysis, and izuku always replies with a string of all might heart-eye stickers.

6 months into their relationship, izuku tells katsuki he can call him by his real name. up until now, izuku had gone by the nickname "golden" in honor of all might's golden age. when izuku tells katsuki his name, though, he doesn't get a response. the next day, izuku wakes up to find that katsuki's profile has been deleted entirely.

izuku feels like throwing up. he doesn't know what happened to dynamight, if he caused this, what could have caused this. he debates deleting his account too, ashamed and confused and hurt, but ultimately decides against it. he changes his profile theme back to an aesthetic picture set of all might in his iconic golden age pose, and continues posting on all might amino as if nothing happened. he doesn't reach out to new people on amino again.

when izuku gets into ua and his workload drastically increases, he stops finding time to post on amino, eventually deleting the app entirely (his profile stays up, though).

in second year, izuku is sitting in the common room with his friends, somehow having been roped into a conversation about dating. "you've never been in a relationship before, have you, deku-kun?" uraraka asks him.

his friends' eyes all focus on him, and he blushes. "well, i had an online boyfriend in middle school, but i'm not sure if that counts." his friends gape at him, clearly surprised. some other people lingering about in the common area also tune into the conversation. katsuki is one of them.

"really, midoriya-kun?" iida says, doing his best to hide his blatant shock. "i must say, that sounds rather out of character for you!"

"did you guys break up or something?" todoroki asks.

izuku grimaces, remembering what happened. "i told him my real name, and then he deleted his account. i think it was because of my name, but I guess i don't know for sure."

uraraka frowns. "that sucks! he didn't deserve you anyway. what an asshole move." the rest of izuku's friends nod in agreement at that. out of the corner of his eye, izuku sees katsuki get up from his armchair and storm out of the room.

months later, izuku and katsuki finally start dating for real. izuku is so overwhelmed with happiness, and katsuki's eyes light up every time he sees izuku. one night, though, katsuki pulls him aside. "there's something i need to tell you."

izuku frowns in confusion. "what's up?"

katsuki takes a deep breath. "...i'm dynamight."

this does not clear izuku's confusion. "um... yeah, i know what your hero name is."

"no, it's-" katsuki cuts himself off, then starts again. "i was dynamight on amino, too."

izuku feels his heart drop. he's not sure what katsuki is saying, why he's bringing it up. "you... we were... you mean we dated back in middle school?"

katsuki nods, eyes on the floor. he doesn't say anything else.

"why did you..." izuku licks his lips in apprehension. "why did you delete your account?"

katsuki is silent for a moment. "i freaked out when i found out who you were," he finally says. "i mean, you know how i was treating you in real life back then. and we had been texting all that time, and i had been comforting you from the bullying you were going through, only to realize it was me who was- i didn't... i didn't know what to say. and obviously i was really immature at the time and wasn't ready to process my feelings yet. but that whole thing helped me realize my feelings for you, even though i didn't want to accept that at the time.

"but," katsuki continues, clearly on a roll now, "that still doesn't excuse what i did. it was a shitty move. and i know i've apologized for how i bullied you before, but i'm sorry for this, too, izuku. i know i hurt your feelings. i swear i'll be a better boyfriend this time, i promise. uh- only if... if you still want to be together."

izuku can't even think of what to say for a moment, still silently reeling at katsuki's confession. eventually he says, "no, i- i get it. we were both pretty immature at the time, and to be honest i kind of got over it a while ago. but," he smiles, "that apology really means a lot to me. and of course i still want to be with you."

he leans in to kiss katsuki briefly. izuku doesn't think he'll ever get used to that.

katsuki rests his forehead against izuku's, eyes taking in izuku's face. "i swear i'll be an even better boyfriend than dynamight was, golden."

and then they lived happily ever after :>

[waltermis]

Imagine You Joining The Avengers And Natasha Having A Huge Crush On You

MASTERLIST ↠ NATASHA ROMANOFF MASTERLIST

Summary: Basically the title 🤪

Warnings: swearing, implied sex

↠↠↠ 

EARLY STAGES

- When you first join the avengers, Natasha would be apprehensive around you

- You think that it's because you're the new girl

- You try to be as nice as possible to her

- Leaving her a protein shake after her workouts

- Making sure that her peanut butter sandwiches didn't have any crusts

- and that every single part of the bread was smeared with peanut butter

- Bringing her favorite snacks & drinks to her door when she had a huge workload

- You didn't know why you wanted to do those things

- but you saw how her eyes lit up whenever she found something you left for her

- and it made you feel happy

- Whenever you smiled at her, Natasha could feel her entire body heat up as she blushed bright red

- The team OBVIOUSLY took note of that and would tease her constantly

- One very terrible teasing session caused someone from the team to go the med bay

- Not gonna name who...

- *cough* Tony *cough*

- It was after a huge party that Tony threw did Natasha finally open up to you

- You had inadvertently saved her from a very drunk and extremely creepy douchebag who couldn't take no for an answer

- After you pulled her away, the two of you stayed at the bar while you threw every pick up line imaginable at her

- and each time, she would throw her head back, squeezing her eyes shut as she laughed

- "Excuse me.... But did you come from the vending machine? 'Cause you are a snack!" ~Y/N

- "Oh god! That's terrible!!" ~ Nat

- "Right?! I don't get how guys think that'll work?!" ~Y/N

- "Did you just come out of the oven? 'Cause you're hot!" ~Y/N

- *gagging noises* ~ Nat

- "You're definitely on my To-Do list tonight..." ~Y/N

- "Ew..... Do another one..." ~ Nat

- and by the end of the night, the two of you were wheezing al the laughing

- After that, the two of you became attached to the hip

- Whenever someone from the team couldn't find you, they would look for Natasha and vice versa

- One time, Steve had found both you and Nat hanging upside down from a tree while you taught her how to play 'Patty Cake'

- Another time, Wanda found the two of you reading each other's' favorite stories just so you could fully understand what the other was talking about

REALIZING

- It wasn't until much later on in your friendship –8 months– with Natasha, did she finally understand why her heart would beat faster whenever you were in the same room as her

- Or why she felt angry whenever you went out with someone that wasn't her

- Or why sometimes she would have to physically restrain herself from wanting to kiss your pout when she rejected watching a rom-com

- It finally dawned on her after she spoke with Clint

- *cough* more like Clint slapped some sense into her *cough*

- "Clint! I think I might be sick..." ~ Nat

- "What?! Why?" ~ Clint

- "I dunno... My stomach gets twisted into knots and my heart beats really fast sometimes..." ~ Nat

- "Lemme ask you, does this all happen when Y/N is around?" ~ Clint

- "Yeah why? *gasp* You don't think she's drugging me do you?!" ~ Nat

- "N-no... I don't think that our sweet little avenger would be drugging you...." ~ Clint

- "Then what is it??!!?!" ~ Nat

- "How are you such a good spy and yet so oblivious and naïve when it comes to feelings?" ~ Clint

- "Wha-?" ~ Nat

- "You have a crush on N/N, dumb dumb!!!" ~ Clint

- "What?! No I don't!!" ~ Nat

- "You said that she had the breasts of a Greek goddess!" ~ Clint

- "What!? When???"

*flashback*

- When the team first began discussing whether they should accept you into the avengers or not

- Natasha may have let something slip

- "C'mon!! She can't join us!!!" ~ Tony

- "Why not, Tony?" ~ Steve

- "Are you kidding me?! That woman has the nose of a bloodhound!" ~ Tony

- "And the breasts of a Greek goddess..." ~ Nat

- "...Nat...?" ~ Clint *end flashback*

- "Oh my god!!" ~ Nat

AVOIDANCE

- After finding out, Natasha avoids you as much as she can

- You're confused thinking you did something wrong

- Every time you would enter a room, Natasha would flee immediately

- the only thing convincing you that you didn't imagine her would whatever she had left behind when fleeing

CONFRONTATION

- It took weeks before you were able to corner Natasha

- She had been taking a shower when you quite literally barged into her bathroom

- You didn't care anymore

- You had waited long enough

- You pushed her against the wall, still fully clothed questioning her

- "Why are you avoiding me?!" ~Y/N

- "W-what the fuck are you doing in here?!?! I'm taking a shower!" ~ Nat

- "Well, you have been avoiding me for practically 2 months now!!! I wanna know what I did wrong!!" ~Y/N

- "You mean besides coming here while I'm showering?!?!" ~ Nat

- "Nat please! I miss cuddling together under a fort we made during movie nights!! I miss 3am baking!! I miss complaining about every dumb move the Kardashians make! I miss our friendship!" ~Y/N

- "That's just it!! I don't want to be just friends!!" ~ Nat

- "W-what?" ~Y/N

- "I lo- like you!!! A lot... and I can't stand being just friends with you!!!" ~ Nat

- "I love you too, Nat...." ~Y/N

- "You do...?" ~ Nat

- She would have the most vulnerable look in her eyes

- her eyes would be glassy with tears as her bottom lip trembled slightly

- "Yeah... I was terrified that I was the only one..." ~Y/N

- You would lean in slightly when you'd stop

- "Can I kiss you?" ~Y/N

- "Yeah..." ~ Nat

- Consent = 🥵🥵

- The two of you would spend hours in the shower...

- 😉😉😏😏

AFTERMATH

- Natasha would be the best girlfriend

- Peppering your face with kisses every morning to wake you up

- Bringing you, your favorite flowers whenever you two had a date

- which was every week

- Reading you stories like 'Little Women' when you couldn't sleep

- Her calling you Russian pet names will never fail to make you blush

- "Morning, moya lyubov'! Did you sleep well?" ~ Nat

- "Thank you, detka!" ~ Nat

- "Ya tebya lyublyu, dorogoy..." ~ Nat

- And in turn you were just as good as a girlfriend to her

- Comforting her whenever she would have a nightmare about her past

- Sitting next to her in the shower, the both of you fully clothed, when a mission goes sideways and agents had died

- "It's all my fault..." ~ Nat

- "No it's not" ~Y/N

- "It is!! I was in charge! And I let them die..." ~ Nat

- "Babe, you did everything you could. The intel you got from the mission was clearly altered and it was a trap! You brought back as many people as you could and you saved over 20 kids from getting trafficked! That's a huge win. And yeah, it sucks that agents died, but I know that they would be proud that they sacrificed their lives so that those kids will have a better life! You're not gonna feel better sitting here feeling sorry, you have to honor what those agents did and thank them." ~Y/N

- "I love you so much, detka. Thank you for being here." ~ Nat

- "'Course... where else would I be? And I love you so much too." ~Y/N

- Reassuring her that she had wiped her ledger squeaky clean

- Of course she still had her moments of doubt but you were always there guiding her through it

- Learning Russian so the two of you could have full on conversations without the team understanding a single word

MEETING THE WIDOW FAM

- Meeting Yelena for the first and getting along amazingly

- the two of you would be working together to prank everybody

- like one time, the two of you painted all of Tony's Iron Man suits Captain America colors

- Or another time where you wrapped Sam's room in saran wrap

- took him nearly 4 hours just to cut through everything you guys wrapped

- When you met Melina and Alexei, the two were cautious around you

- but they soon opened up to you when they realized that you weren't gonna harm them

- Exchanging recipes with Melina

- Drinking contests with Alexei which left you drunk as hell and regretting your life decision the next morning

- It was safe to say that Natasha was head over heels for you

- and you for her

- And that was all that mattered to anybody

↠↠↠ 

1411 words

[theweirdwideweb]

I reported my boss to HR for discrimination last week. Please tell me if I'm crazy.

My old boss got promoted so around October I got a new supervisor. We've been coworkers for about 5 years and had a friendly relationship. I'd been to her house, met her kids, we chit chatted a lot. When she started approving my time cards she noticed I was using about 3-5 hours of PTO per week at random times. I explained this was an informal arrangement I had with my previous supervisor due to my disability. I have C-PTSD and ADHD which honestly make it difficult to get through the day pretty much every day. Sometimes I need more breaks and if I'm using my PTO and being honest, who cares right? Well the new supervisor cared. She told me that if I couldn't be a full time employee they couldn't justify our headcount and my job was on the line unless I made this a formal arrangement. I was really hurt but I did it, I got all the doctors notes together and figured--while I'm formalizing it, I actually do need extra therapy so I'm gonna make my FMLA (family medical leave act) time include these sessions.

All this is approved obviously because one thing I'm not is self diagnosed. I've got medical records a mile high. So starting in January this official leave time goes into effect and I can use up to 7 hours of PTO per week. Before all this began my supervisor consistently praised me as a "rockstar" employee, saying I was the only person on the team who truly follows the rules. In general I was thought of as an excellent worker and had received a promotion. The team that I lead smashed our goals for 2023. But, strangely, once I start the FMLA my supervisor begins complaining about my lack of productivity. I kept a spreadsheet as a tool for my ADHD where I tracked how I was spending my time so I volunteered to let her see it so she could figure it out. Instead of sending the spreadsheet tracking my work in 5 minute increments once or twice, this woman has had me sending it every week for the past 7 months. Every Monday we have our 1:1 and she lets me know how poorly I'm doing. She also sends me an email on Mondays where she counts every email I have in my inbox, every claim I have across multiple programs, every minute of meetings I have scheduled and sends me the amount of time she expects it to take and if I don't make it then we have to talk about my "problems".

Now I'm practically never making it. I've appealed to her and to her boss so many times that there is something wrong with this formula they've come up with to calculate my workload--and they both just think I'm lying. Long story short in May I started measuring my time not on the spreadsheet but by the individual tasks in the email and not only am I keeping up, but there's a full 5-6 hours of work every week that she hasn't been counting (including 3 hours talking on the phone---with her!). I bring this up at our 1:1 in late May and say, See there really is something wrong with your measurement. I'm right on track productivity wise with these tasks. She doesn't acknowledge at all the flaw I've found in her formula but DOES say, "I do think there's been an improvement in your productivity and I expect it will continue to improve as you get more therapy." Full on MASK OFF. So my "productivity issues" are improved by therapy, meaning she's been ascribing those issues to my disability. Incredible.

I go to HR the next day to have this interaction on the record. First time I've gone to HR about anything ever. They are so concerned that they are going to launch an investigation and I tearfully plead with them not to because my boss's boss is out on medical leave and I don't want to cause huge problems while she's away and can't moderate. I didn't realize it would automatically cause an investigation to report this. The lady takes pity on me and says they won't investigate for now.

The VERY NEXT DAY my supervisor tells us in a team meeting (other people there to witness) that she's got a funny story about her son. It's some innocent story about how he's grounded and can't go to a party, but she continues on by talking about how she has to be extra strict with him because he has ADHD. If she doesn't enforce consequences, he'll never learn! And he has to learn because when he grows up his boss isn't going to take his ADHD as an excuse. "Policies are policies" she said, "Your boss isn't going to accept an answer like I know I was supposed to do four things but I only got to three because...." She even went further talking about how he's having trouble learning to drive because of his ADHD and just laughing about it. When he has to do something, she says, she has to remind him multiple times and set timers and double check with him otherwise he'll forget.

So I'm fucking flabbergasted at this point, right? This whole time I've been feeling like this time tracking is discriminatory and here she is just spelling it out for me in neon letters: YES, IT ACTUALLY IS. So I'm biding my time until her boss gets back from medical leave. But after 3 weeks of showing her that her method is flawed she tells me I don't have to do the spreadsheet anymore. Her boss is back but cancelled our first meeting, so I figure: If the bullshit stops, for the sake of my career and mental health I'm gonna let this go. My supervisor goes on vacation for 2 weeks. I'm doing my work exactly as I want to without the added pressure and everything is going great.

Once she gets back though we have our 1:1 and she asks me where my emails were on the 2 past Fridays telling her if I got all my work done. Which she never asked me to do, btw. Reader---I mcfreakin lost it. I belligerently asked why this was still necessary, that I felt picked on and bullied, that she isn't doing this to anyone else on the team, and that I'm sick and tired of constantly being demoralized by her leadership. I told her that I was going to talk to her boss directly about this situation. She was pissed. She actually unfriended me on facebook which for middle aged women is like throwing a grenade.

Next day I talk to her boss. I bring my evidence because of course I've been taking notes. The situation is serious. HR has become involved. And just because there are anti-retaliatory rules for reporting protected concerns doesn't actually protect me from getting fired. Suddenly I'm fearful about everything. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job and my health insurance, bye bye therapy,, bye bye surgery I need. I've been at this job 6 years and the animosity is at an all time high. Christ almighty.

[azaliyas]

Hello dear!

I would like to request an alhaitham x f!reader, wherein they're both burned out from work and had a big fight hehe but make it angst to comfort please 🥹

summary : as scholars and researchers, you and alhaitham had to deal with a lot of stress and pressure from deadlines, inhuman amounts of workload and tiredness. one evening, after another day of exhausting work, a simple argument turned into a huge fight with both of you throwing insults and yelling at each other. neither of you really meant any of that, and you both know that at the end of the day, comfort is where the other is.

word count : [ to be added later ]

genre : angst, hurt to comfort.

cw / tw : fem!reader, mentions of fighting and self-negligence, both character and reader are burned out, cursing and yelling.

characters : alhaitham.

note : aaaahhh! this is my first request! i'm pretty excited about it ngl ewe i hope it's what you kinda imagined and that it's of your liking, dear anon! <3

when, as a young and hopeful student, you entered the akademiya you knew you were going to deal with a lot, since the sumerian institution was worldly regarded as the best school existing. you knew stress and deadlines would have become your new best friends, but you were ready for all of that. you were passionate about history and social studies, the vahumana darshan was the obvious choice to satisfy your thirst for knowledge.

it was during those years that you met your boyfriend, alhaitham, a student of haravatat that was also well-versed in the topics of the other darshans. you would sometimes ask for his help and, surprisingly to others, he wouldn't complain about it one bit. many thought it was because you could offer something to him in exchange, but they were absolutely wrong. alhaitham always accepted to help you because he recognised your intelligence and pure love for knowledge, a love that made you aware of your limits as a human, and so respectful of not keep going on with your studies when the possible knowledge could harm you to a non returning point.

and from that, it was easy for him to fall in love with you, going against all logical thoughts because for him love was illogical, but loving you was not.

——————————————————————

alhaitham was tired. his mind felt numb, the more he read the book in front of him and the less he could understand the words printed on it. he knew it was pointless to continue reading if he wasn't registering any information, it was a waste of time he could have spent doing something more productive. yet there he was, closed in the four walls of his home office, trying to make heads and tails of the documents scattered all over his desk.

accepting nahida's offering as the acting grand sage, he thought, was the worst decision he could have taken in his whole life. even if it was momentarily until the lesser lord would have find the right people to take over as the sages, he was already tired of all the extra work he had to do, since he didn't renounce to his position as the akademiya's scribe. but now all of that was taking a toll on both his body and his mind, as well as his relationship with you.

when was the last time you two went on a date? or had at least spent some time together, doing one of the typical couples stuff he despised but you loved? or when was the last time he had held you in his arms, had a proper sleep, a proper meal, a proper anything? it had his blood boiling knowing that, after the commotion caused by the turmoil he and cyno and aether caused, he hadn't been able to enjoy the new freedom of sumeru with you. he knew you didn't mind it that much, because otherwise there wouldn't have been any peace in the nation at all, had the plan of the sages went well, nor did he regret do the right thing that was rescue the lesser lord.

but alhaitham missed you, all and everything about you. he missed your kind and pretty smile, he missed your lovely laughter. he missed your fingers gently playing with his hair, he missed your nails lightly scratching his scalp. he missed the warmth of your body, he missed the softness of your skin under his lips.

he missed his dear, precious lover, yet he couldn't do much about it, because even if you did manage to get some free time, you two were too tired to do anything that wasn't sleeping to finally get some energy back.

on the other hand, at the akademiya...

your office at the akademiya never felt so suffocating. it was big and spacious, lots of windows with a beautiful view on the city of wisdom and knowledge, but it was starting to being claustrophobic. how many hours had you spend there, trying to write your paper, you didn't know. day after day you would close yourself in, surrounded by books and old papers, trying to finish your research about the traditional celebrations of khaenri'ah, how they would celebrate important occasions such as the birthday of a member of the royal family or the coronation of a new king / queen, but sources were rare and your mental sanity was running thin. and yet, because you were so damn stubborn, you kept searching and searching, putting aside your well-being for this. the paper could have gotten you funds and a promotion as a full-time professor and you had all the intentions of getting both.

raising your head your eyes fell on the clock on your desk. almost 11pm. you sighed, hands ruffling your already messy hair. how long have it been since you had a proper shower, instead of a quick run so you could optimize your time and spend as much of it as possible on your research? you had no idea. another sigh left your lips and you decided you call it a day.

standing up, you took all the materials and put them aside, knowing you would be again in your office back tomorrow morning. your head felt like a hammer was hitting against your brain walls, an annoying whistle in your ears as you left your office, hand on forehead and another on the wall to support yourself. you felt so weak, when was the last time you ate a proper meal? puspa café's snacks were good, but they couldn't possibly be enough.

you left the akademiya, the gentle night breeze blowing on your warm skin. you shivered at the feeling, goosebumps arising on your arms, but it felt good. "i'm still alive", you thought, "this akademiya shit still hasn't gotten the better of me". a bitter laugh escaped at your own thoughts — how fucked up were you, actually?

dragging your feet in the silent city, you walked down to get home. alhaitham was probably already asleep, you imagined, because your boyfriend wasn't the type to stay up late to finish work, not even now that he was the acting grand sage, after the rebellion he planned and executed with the help of the general mahamatra cyno and the traveling hero aether to rescue lesser lord kusanali.

when you got home you expected anything but the sight of your boyfriend in the kitchen, brewing himself a cup of coffee. his eyebags were prominent, his hair a mess, his skin pale. all signs of exhaustion, just like yours.

«haitham, why are you still awake?» you asked stepping inside the kitchen. you heard him sighing, his beautiful teal-orange eyes burning your figure.

«the same as you: working my ass off for the akademiya.» his sharp tone had you flinch and frown, not expecting him to throw his tiredness on you.

«well, you should go get some rest. maybe it will help with that attitude of yours.» you bit back, and your boyfriend scoffed at your words.

«says you, looking like shit for neglecting your basic needs in favor of your academic research.» his coffee was long forgotten, his attention solely focused on your and your argument.

deep down alhaitham knew it wasn't fair of him to throw his exhaustion and tiredness on you, reversing in the same conditions as him, but he couldn't stand your lecture about self care when you were the first to not follow your own advice. he loved you and hated the state you were in because of work. and yet he threw all of his logical stuff shit out of the window the moment you retorted.

you, on the other hand, were left bewildered by his harsh words. he knew what you were going through, working your ass off to finally be acknowledged by the higher-ups and see your dreams realised. you felt your breath hitching in your throat and your eyes burning, but your pride stopped you from bursting out crying in front of your boyfriend. crying would have meant giving it up and you didn't want that, you wanted him to recognise your hard work.

«you're not better than me, alhaitham, otherwise you would be sleeping by now. say, how many cups of coffee did you gobble down?» your voice got higher than your usual tone, and he noticed it way too well. his hand itched to go up to his headphones and turn on the soundproof option, but he desisted. if you wanted a fight, he would have given you the fight of your lives.

«and when did this conversation slip on me when you are the one who has it worse?»

«i have it worse because i'm trying to fulfill my dreams, mister "i have it all easy-peasy lemon-squeezy"!»

«as if i have ever wanted to hold the position of acting grand sage. it's a pain in the ass dealing with all these stupid and arrogant scholars.»

«and there you go again with that awful attitude of yours! do you even hear yourself? they're working so hard and you don't even acknowledge it!»

«like you never got acknowledged for your efforts, pushing you to this point?»

that last sentence of his went over the invisible line neither of you ever had the courage to pass. if first your voices came to a yelling mess that could be heard through the whole city, now the house was dead silent. in that silence alhaitham's eyes widened when he registered what he had said, but it was too late to apologise. the tears you fought to hold back during the argument finally escaped, streaming down your warm cheeks. your lips trembled and before your lover could say something, you talked first.

«you're a bastard, alhaitham.» a sob interrupted you, but you didn't care. «you're an insensitive bastard that can't and doesn't want to go past his nose because who cares if others are struggling? i'm not, it's none of my problem.» you managed to retort even in the middle of your hiccups.

you gave your back to your boyfriend, who was standing still, frozen on the spot. you walked away, out of the house, while he could do nothing but watching your figure disappearin the late night.

his lips trembled, but bit them to stop. his head fell down.

the front door closed with a loud slam.

——————————————————————

you ran back to the akademiya, but instead of going to your office you went for the pavilion outside, the lower level of it where almost nobody ever went. it was quiet, facing the city outskirts, and it was away from the home you shared with alhaitham.

your cried all your tears on your way, your cheeks now dry and sticky. swallowing the annoying knot in your throat, you took a sit on the edge of the empty pavilion, legs casually swinging in the void beneath. luckily for you it was a somewhat warm night, so you didn't have to worry about getting a jacket (as if you didn't forget about it anyway).

your lips were still trembling, the whistle in your ears now replaced by the harsh words alhaitham threw at you. was it true that you never got acknowledged because you didn't work hard enough? or was it because you weren't smart enough? what did the akademiya consider you? average? mediocre? barely above the standard? but you surely had something, otherwise you would have been expelled long ago with the reason of dragging down the prestigious name of the sumeru akademiya.

you started feeling cold not from the night breeze, but from the painful realisation that, maybe, you weren't enough. your heart ached in your chest at the thought. did you just waste years and years of your youth for a dream that had no chance to become true from the beginning? were all of your efforts worth nothing in the akademiya's eyes?

you were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear footsteps approaching from behind. you jumped on the spot when a piece of clothing was draped over your shoulders, covering your shaking figure. your head snapped up only to meet with alhaitham's gaze, one you had never seen in all of your years of dating him: a gaze filled with sorrow and remorse.

«can i take a sit?» his voice was low, gentle.

you nodded and he sat beside you, his legs joining yours in swinging over the edge. you pulled his cape tighter around you, now aware of the coldness that was taking over your exhausted body.

silence filled your surroundings for a while, only the gentle flow of a river in the distance occupying your ears. you didn't know what to say nor where to start, and alhaitham had never been good with words when it came to feelings and such. sure, he improved thanks to you, but his lack of experience was evident. it had been painfully evident in that fight of a couple of hours ago, too.

«you were right, i am indeed a bastard, but my inability to look over my nose, as you said, is the last reason for that. even if i acknowledged your struggles and had to watch you crumble under the amount of pressure and expectations the higher-ups have on you, instead of helping you and give you comfort, i hit you were you are most vulnerable. that indeed makes me a bastard, one that doesn't deserve someone as good as you in his life. but still, i do hope you can forgive me. is that selfish?»

you waited for alhaitham to finish his little speech before raising your gaze and look at him. you could read all the tiredness that got a hold of him and had the best of him and his usual calm self. his eyes were curved down, his brilliant teal-orange hue dulled by regret. his lips were pale and bitten, pressed in a thin line.

«i won't say you're not, but i also don't want you to think that those words i said are entirely true.» your voice was still hoarse from crying, so you cleared your throat before continuing. «i'm sorry for what i said, i wasn't in my right mind. it's just that... maybe you're right, i'm not good enough for the akademiya and that's why i never got acknowledged.» you sank your face in your hands, hiding from your boyfriend.

alhaitham, however, was having none of it. he took your hands in his and pushed them away, then grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him in the eyes.

«that's not true. you're one of the smartest women i've ever met, and they were really few. you have a way with words that's hard to describe, your passion for research admirable and an example for many. you know when to stop to be respectful of the limits that we, as humans, have. it's the akademiya that's made of arrogant and noisy scholars who can't recognise a gem when they're holding one, not you not being enough for an institution made of corruption and greed.»

his lips met your forehead, his words digging holes in your brain, putting roots in there. he was right, he was so goddamn right. you were smart, you were curious, you were knowledgeable, you were respectful. you had all the qualities of a proper scholar, so how the hell did you think you weren't enough? you were even too much, but it would have been a freezing day in sumeru city before you were going to give up on your dreams.

your body though, reminded you you have been way too self-neglecting to start a war with the higher-ups and fuck them over, for now at least.

your hands slipped away from alhaitham's to find themselves on his cheeks, cupping his handsome face. you pulled him down for a kiss, one that was much needed. his arms found rest around your waist, chests pressed together and foreheads touching.

you needed a vacation, and so did alhaitham. you two needed to destress away from the akademiya and spend some quality time together, in each other's arms after neglecting your needs and desires as a couple for too long. and you also needed to stand your grounds and show the akademiya who you were and what you were made of.

there would be time for that, though. for now, you only needed alhaitham, his gentle touch and his sweet kisses, his comfort and his reassurance that he would be there for you to help and support you, as much as he needed the same from you. he may be the almighty genius that saved sumeru and held a knowledge many would kill to have, but in your arms, he was nothing more than a man driven by love and devotion for you and your persona.

© azaliyas 2023 do not copy repost translate or feed to ai

[joanofexys]

gimme the Jude lore

okay okay Jude Reyes lore incoming

little breakdown first:

26 years old

he/him, pansexual, cis

played for the Trojans for 5 years

graduated with a degree in sports journalism

has adhd and depression (in the rambling bit tw right now for mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts tying into this)

only child and still upset about it

does the most out of all my ocs to work with college players, spends a lot of his free time flying out to different colleges to work with coaches and teams cause he likes and he enjoys it (gets a lot of teasing about becoming a coach in the future)

knows english and spanish

and oh yeah he's a dealer who will play as an extra backliner if needed

blonde, 6'3, big brown eyes

got his ears pierced cause Mara said he'd chicken out

So yeah Jude graduated from USC at the age of 23 and he was recruited for olympic court when he was 25. He considers the Trojan's his family and still keeps in touch with all the upper classmen who he used to play with. He's very much taken the Trojan attitude into his professional career. He's known as a team player on the court and also a huge activist off the court. He's now involved in presenting the Day Spirit Award every year and he's incredibly proud to have been apart of the team consistently winning it. While Ilya falls into the Just Some Guy category, Jude really takes it up like 10 levels into Golden Child territory. He's the favored one for press duty and is most involved with his teams social media. He's usually the one to sit down for the little games or the ask me anything's or the interviews everyone else deems pointless.

tw for self harm and suicide mentions, you can skip to the next bolded line if you need to

Jude was diagnosed with depression when he was 19 after he came to Rhemann confessing that he had been self harming for a few months after the workload with his class got more difficult for him to manage and he started thinking about committing suicide. He was diagnosed with adhd a few years later when he was 22 and now he now manages both with a mixture of therapy and medication. He's not perfect and obviously that didn't get rid of his depression but he has always had a safe space to talk about it and to get the help he needs. He advocates a lot for mental health in general but especially where athletes where it tends to get ignored with all the pressure put on them and he brings that into all of his relationships with his teammates trying to create a safe space for them. He is a huge factor in actually getting Em, Mara, and Florian to see therapists and he's who Florian calls after his 5th attempt and takes him to the hospital.

okay heavy bit over

I need y'all to know that Jude popped into my head literally today. He was named like 3 hours ago. So this is all just kind of developing as I yap about him. He's big on team inclusion. Doesn't want anyone to feel left out. At first Ilya really butted heads with Mara and Florian cause they were Raven's and Jude was basically the one to get sick of that and tell them they needed to shut the fuck up and put on their get along t-shirt

He's generally pretty outgoing and he loves a good party. And by party he means hosting his team and having some food and drinks and visiting with every one. Though he does go a little crazy after a win and he will probably not get home till like 6 in the morning and then will sleep for a full 24 hours

He comes off as very loud and flirtatious to most people, most people will think he is flirting even when he isn't and he has accidentally agreed to multiple dates before realizing they were dates and having to awkwardly let people down. He doesn't really date much, not seriously, largely because of how involved he is with the media portion of his job. If he does end up dating (and I don't have anyone set up for him yet) it'd most likely be another exy player who is also super involved with the media and interacting with the press

and yeah that's a little bit about Jude

[bedoballoons]

I can't see if you have an ask box marker or not, but if you're open to requests can you do HCs for the guys that keep the baby having special moments with the bb? Like their partner had a huge workload in their job that day so the guys wake up at midnight to take care of the crying babe and just have a moment where they realize that they REALLY like this family dynamic and having a family with their partner?

( I personally hc scara to be trans so I think he'd see the baby as a blessing cause even if his partner is amab I doubt Ei added a feature for him to be able to have kids)

My asks/requests are open! Thank you so much for your request and I can totally see Trans Scara/Wanderer!!

Genshin Men Headcanons:

~Special moments with the baby~

(Includes: Kazuha, Wanderer, and Xiao!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Kazuha:

Kazuhas eyes opened slightly, it was still dark out and even though the reason he had been waken up in the middle of the night was because of a baby crying, he still had that same smile on his face that never seemed to leave anymore. He leaned over, checking on you as you continued to dream away peacefully, as soon as he knew you were still fast asleep he put a gentle kiss on your head and carefully maneuvered his way out of the bed, trying his best not to wake you.

He yawned quietly as he walked to the babies room, his hand out in front of him so he didn't bump into anything and his eyes squinting to see in the darkness of the night. When he reached the nursery the cries had turned to soft sobs as I'd the baby was already starting to feel better by knowing someone was in the room with them and it made Kazuha wonder if the little one had a nightmare...poor baby.

He carefully lifted the small child out of their crib, holding their head against his chest and gentle swaying them in his arms, the soft glow of the nightlight barely illuminating them. "Shhhh little one...it's okay. No matter what was in your nightmare, I'll keep you safe. I promise." He whispered, placing a soft kiss on the top of the babies head and watching with happy eyes as they already started to fall back asleep.

Even after the baby had fallen back to sleep, he still held them...his heart feeling so full of love and his will to make sure they didn't wake up alone from another nightmare...so strong. It was then that he realized just how perfect this all was, he had a child now,...a partner who loved him so much and...he loved both of you more than words could ever express. He silently thanked celestia for giving him this dream life he never realized he needed so badly and swore on his life he'd do everything in his power to make sure he did the best he could for your little family.

Wanderer:

(I use the nickname Scara here!)

Scara groaned slightly, the sound of the baby crying waking him up, his eyes opening to see you fast asleep...still somehow looking exhausted from your long day at work. Normally you'd be the one to comfort the little one after they had waken up in the middle of the night...but you seemed so tired and peaceful...that he couldn't bring himself to wake you up.

Instead he squirmed his way quietly out of the bed, doing his best not to wake you as he he hurried to your side where the baby bottle was. He grabbed it and like a ninja silently snuck out of the room, making his way to the nursery carefully, so he didn't bump into anything, the bottle of milk still slightly warm from when you warmed it up.

He peeked into the small room, the subtle glow of the multiple nightlights Illuminating the room just enough that he could make out the baby wiggling in their crib, their tiny body shaking as they continued to cry. "I'm here...don't worry you're not alone anymore..." He said softly, walking to the side of the crib and gently lifting the little one up, their tiny face wet with tears.

Scara grabbed the nearby blanket, the one the baby had arrived with and wrapped then up in it, holding the bottle for them as they drank it up. He noticed how their breathing was still uneven, their small eyes still watering and their tiny hands clingy to his normal sized one....were they scared? Wouldn't he himself be scared if he had woken up in a dark room...no one else in sight...

What could he do to make them feel better? Then suddenly a idea popped into his head, making him sigh, "...don't expect this to be a normal occurrence." He said to the baby, who just looked up at him not having a clue what any of that meant. He bit his lip and quietly started to sing:

"♪ Twinkle, twinkle,..little star,

How I wonder...what you are.

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky...

When the blazing sun is gone,

When he nothing shines upon,

Then you show your little light,

Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark...,

Thanks you for your tiny spark,

He could not see which way to go,

If you did not...twinkle so...♪"

By the time he had finished singing...the baby was fast asleep and he felt different, like this was the most precious gift he had ever received. In truth, he knew it was likely impossible for himself to actually have a blood related child...so being able to share this moment with the little one and confirm that he was in fact a parent now...felt so good. He whispered a very quiet thank you to the baby as he carefully put them back in their small bed, sitting on the floor so his back was against the wood bars of the crib. This way the next time they woke up...they wouldn't be alone.

Xiao:

Xiao sat up straight, his eyes wide and yet still glazed over with sleep, as he looked around the room. His heart was beating faster than normal, his hair standing on end, but there wasn't anything there...was it...just a nightmare? He quickly leaned over to check on you, sure enough you were perfectly fine, still sleeping away peacefully.

He sighed in relief, carefully getting out of the comfy warm bed as quietly as he could and making his way to the babies room. His nightmare replaying in his head over and over again, till he started to feel sick to his stomach. It had seemed so real...and in it...he hadn't been able to keep both of you safe, he failed...he broke his promise. He had to keep telling himself it wasn't real...it wasn't real.

He walked into the babies room, their eyes wide open and their small arms reaching for him, a adorable smile painting their little face as soon as he leaned over the crib. "Why are you awake hmm?" Xiao whispered, reaching in and carefully lifting up the baby so he was now holding them, their tiny heart beating just as quick as his own. He gently patted their back, bouncing them softly to help them fall back to sleep and placing a cute little kiss on their cheek.

"...I think you've ended up comforting me more than I have you. I won't let my nightmare turn into reality...nothing will happen to you or your other parent." He spoke quietly, knowing the little one had no idea what he was saying but finding it comforting to say it out loud...and yet also still so strange to say other parent. He was a father, to a actual human child and he enjoyed it too...

When he peeked down at the baby again, they were already fast asleep, their small fingers holding onto the beads of his necklace and his shirt tightly, as if they didn't want to be put down. Xiao didn't mind though...walking over to the window sill and sitting in it, staring up at the bright moon in the sky, no matter what...he would keep them safe. No matter what.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

✿Not me making all the ones who kept the babies Anemo users hehe...ooppppsss✿

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 21 relisten notes

happy end of hiatus! beware of tmagp 21 and light tma spoilers below the cut!!

scene:

this is a continuation of the night of episode 20! so all of the events occurring in this episode are happening directly after the events of episode 20 with very little skipping forward

celia:

- we open with her trying to cheer sam up after their intervention of sorts in ep 20. shes concerned that hes upset over her and alice not wanting to be involved with his investigations and reacting poorly to him bringing up quitting

- she suggests that sam can stay at the OIAR while trying to make change from the inside

- when sam asks her about whats been bothering her, she says she has a "complicated immigration status" and this would stop her from taking jack with her.

- ive taken it as canon that celia is from the tma universe, but this is another clue towards that conclusion. this also implies that shes discovered a way to take her back to her original dimension, or at least knows enough about that process to decide she cant take jack back with her. but staying with him (in this universe) means she has some complicated decisions to make (im assuming this is partially about her struggles with teleporting)

sam:

- hes worried that alice is right about the morality of them working for the OIAR -> he can accept that the organization is evil, but he cant let himself go on knowingly administering evil

- his main motivation to stay instead of seeking out a different (less prestigious) job is his desire to not disappoint his parents (i think a lot of sam's motivations will be centered around him meeting expectations, getting attention, and proving people wrong)

- he maintains that he will quit once/if he gets enough information to convince him to leave. this is a pretty interesting thing for him to say, considering hes only been drug deeper into the job the more info he gets.

- sam volunteers to help celia and jack with "anything" -> im willing to bet this will come back to bite him on the ass in the future, and i wonder what favor celia will be asking him to complete. i wonder if shes willing to take him up on the offer even if it puts him in danger

alice:

- though the incident is read from sam's desk, alice is the one who found it and started it up. im betting that she was poking around his cases to see if there were any corresponding to TMI or their conversations

- "You bastard. You wanted him to read this, didn’t you? Just slipped it into his caseload, all subtle like and waited for him to hear it. Well not this time [...] Colin was right about you. What do you want? Hmmm? Who’s in there?" this is a huge reveal in terms of what alice believes in. in ep 20, she shoots down sam and colin trying to explain that the computers are listening and communicating with them, but now it sounds like she fully believes in it after all

- i think that she either pretended to not believe in it to encourage sam and colin to drop it, or that she really did think they were crazy and took to investigating sam's workload to see if he was right. either way, she seems fully convinced now, and has gone so far as to attribute this behavior to fully sentient people, seeing as how she asked who was in there.

lena:

- she's suspicious of alice using sam's computer, and doesn't believe that theres been more technology issues. according to her, the system has worked better in colin's absence, so he was likely trying to sabotage jmj

- she's worried about gwen being late from her assignment, but pretends to not be concerned around alice

gwen:

- right as ink5oul traps her, she is compelled to begin a statement (which sounds to be corruption-aligned). she was claimed by error and ink5oul allowed her to run away. we can assume gwen was able to escape them both, but i wonder if her attachment to error will cause problems with future externals (will it stop her from interacting with them or will this provide her with the protection shes been wanting?)

ink5oul:

- not only can they tattoo people with ink created by their own skin/blood, they can also manipulate the tattoos of others! very cool character/monster design

- once interrupted by error, they originally try to fight over who is 'claiming' gwen, but they back off and let error take her. the way they interact with error implies that theyve seen other avatars before

error:

- the tape recorder click seems to be an indication of them entering the scene, and of things shifting to follow tma world building conventions

- they compel gwen to begin a statement, and warn ink5oul from touching her, claiming her as theirs

- "they are all mine", i think this is referring to the OIAR as a whole, especially considering alice has already had an encounter with one of error's potential victims

incident:

narrated by chester at sam's terminal, about the magnus institute (TMI)

- the incident is in the form of a letter/email sent from the co-treasurer of TMI to other members of the institute.

- TMI was planning on having an exhibit at a dome built to instigate a grand ritual in the year 2000. this ritual was based in the hopes of using the transmutative powers of the dome to harness the power of the turn of the millennium.

- mr. leonardo argues that the date (2000) and location of the dome and ritual are ineffective. he believes that the date shouldn't be decided based on cultural significance, it needs to be decided based on astrological significance. since the concept of the new year and turning of the millennium depends on the calendar used, its subjective and less stable than using a date determined by the movement of the stars, which every culture holds as a constant.

- he also believes that the dome will not be a secure location to bring about this ritual for universal transmutation because it will not have a balance between optimism and fear. he thinks that the dome would sponsor more energy for fear than optimism, due to socio-political changes and public interpretation of the dome.

- on top of the dome not supporting balance, mr. leonardo also proposes that the ground its built on is impure. he found the site to have a horrible smell and the workers to be uninterested, dirty, and ill (much of this part of the incident lends itself to the corruption)

- the foreman of the site said he wasnt sure how long the structure was expected to stay up, that it could stand the test of time or fall apart within a year.

- during his investigation of the site, mr. leonardo also witnessed a man's doppelgänger be pushed from the earth of the construction site. the new man was older (symbolizing the future), and looked sickly. the younger man tried to scream, but was taken into the earth by his copy.

- this case as a whole is interesting because mr. leonardo is not supporting the dome for its power leaning toward fear over optimism. he seems to genuinely want balance between these powers, so the purpose of the TMI ritual was not to pull through one power. the focus is on successfully attainting a universal transmutation

glitches/lies:

- "yeah/yes" alice, lying about sam consenting to her using his computer

- "ill let him know when he gets back" alice

- "only about your caseload" lena, lying about not being worried about gwen

extra comments:

- im unsure if this is just a personal interpretation or maybe unintentional from the sound editors, but it really did sound like chester was significantly less robotic in tone as that incident ended

- the water sound effects as gwen was chased by ink5oul were really well done, all of the sound design done this episode was just so incredible!! the chase scene was so clear and i loved the added background music/instrumentals

- once gwen drops her phone into the water, our next audio-on is the tape recorder click!

- the tape recorder physically biting ink5oul was very funny, i think its fun to introduce them as kinda sentient/physical beings, but it also rides the line to comedy a bit too much to be scary here

- im unsure of when the police report from episode 18 took place, and that will be a major decider in this theory being relevant, but i think error is the entity that has been influencing corpses to talk. it's victims are compelled to share stories in tma's statement format, and the elements of their stories are pretty aligned with the tma fears as well. it seems to be targeting the OIAR staff, since one of its statements has been in their caseloads, alice met one of the victims, and now its stopped gwen from getting ink5ouled. Im unsure why or how it knows the OIAR is important if its from the tma universe. it could be sensing celia, whos also from its dimension, or maybe it still holds a connection to jmj (who are definitely sentient)

- this incident also explains why the protocol was used against TMI! the fire that destroyed the institute happened right before they would have been able to execute the ritual for transmutation

[poppitron360]

Okay so @green-tea217 requested that I share this fanfic based on this post that I made.

I never usually post my fanfics, but I’m feeling brave. This one isn’t finished, but I’ll post the first chapter ‘cause I’m really proud of it. I’m working on the other fanfics that were requested, but I’m posting this one first because I’ve worked rlly had on it.

Summary: Kind of an OC/FanChild fic about my hcs for Percabeth’s kids. VERY Leo/Nico heavy bc they’re my two favourite characters, particularly Leo.

TWs: Swearing, lack of smut (she is a teenager)

Disclaimers: I was still reading SoN when I wrote this chapter, and I am currently on HoH, so if I’ve missed anything that gets revealed later, that’s why. Also I listened to the audiobooks, so if I spell a name wrong, that’s also why, either that or I’ve spelt something the British way.

Chapter 1:

Olympia hated stories.

She hated telling them. She hated hearing them. She hated the way they were often twisted and bent to contain some kind of message. She hated the theatrics of sharing them around the fire, the hushed voices and dramatic tone. And she hated how every story she heard was almost always about her dad.

Olympia Grace Jackson-Chase.

Of course.

For as long as she can remember, people had told her stories about her parents. About her and her birth. How she had been born on Olympus. How Apollo himself had delivered her, and named her “Olympia Grace” so that it would rhyme with her last name. That wasn’t entirely true. “Grace” was the last name of her Auntie Thalia and Uncle Jason. She hated the stories about them too- about all her parents’ friends. They were myths and legends in the eyes of the other campers, to her they were just people who babysat her sometimes. The Cabin 9’ers had been shocked when she’d told them that the heroic son of Hephaestus who had saved the world from Gaea and her evil forces was actually just Little Uncle Leo, and the first Fire User in three and a half centuries isn’t very mythical and legendary when he’s running in from the kitchen, waving a tea-towel at the fire alarm and yelling “Oh shit, the guacamole’s on fire. I set the guacamole on fire. Don’t tell your mom.”

People never wanted to hear those stories. Only the exiting and dangerous ones.

“Percy Jackson fought the Minotaur when he was only ten years old!!!”

“Percy Jackson keeps insisting I tidy my room.”

Suffice it to say, she was sick of it.

“Dad,” she asked, approaching the kitchen table.

Perseus Jackson, the man, the myth, the legend himself, looked up from his comic book and ginned at her.

“What is it, dolphin?”

“Can you… like… not send me to camp this year?”

Her dad frowned, put The Amazing Spider-Man down on the table and leaned back in his chair.

“Why? What’s up? Are the other campers not nice to you there?”

“It’s not that… in fact, it’s the opposite. The attention is getting too much. I wanna learn to fight, but… I’d rather you just teach me yourself. You can show me how to use my water powers.”

“Oly, I know it’s hard, especially as you’re one of the first Legacies at Camp Half-Blood. I can absolutely arrange for you to not go anymore if you don’t want to… but there’s only so much I can teach you on my own, particularly with your mother’s workload. I want to make sure you’d be protected. Could you maybe give it a try, please?”

Olympia was pretty sure she’d been “giving it a try” for the last 14 summers, but she didn’t want to argue with her dad.

“Fine,” she said.

“That’s my girl,” he beamed, “Now, remember to pack your armour for Capture the Flag, I don’t want to have to drive out there and back just ‘cause you forgot it again.”

She sighed and left the room.

She just wished that he had stayed in the car when he’d dropped her off, but no. He insisted on walking with her to the Big House, saying hello to Chiron and generally being a huge embarrassment. It didn’t take long for the crowds of campers to form around them, whispering behind their hands. She hugged her dad, and said goodbye to him as quickly as she could.

She dumped her things in the Poseidon Cabin. She was allowed in both her mom and her dad’s old cabins, but she preferred to be alone to sleep. She did her activities with the Athena kids though, she didn’t want to stand out any more than she already did.

Olympia sat alone, perched on the edge of the Athena table, when suddenly a kid shuffled up next to her. She looked about twelve, with the same grey eyes of her mother.

“What’s your name?” The girl asked.

“Olympia Jackson-Chase,” Olympia sighed.

“I’ve noticed you doing cabin activities with us, but you don’t sleep with the other Athenians? What’s up with that?”

Olympia took a deep breath, and began to explain, “I’m a-“

“Wait. Jackson-Chase?” The kid gasped.

Oh, here we go, Olympia thought, preparing for the usual swooning and/or geeking out.

“Your mother was Annabeth Chase?”

Olympia was slightly taken aback, “Usually, people talk mostly about my father. I’m always “The daughter of Percy Jackson,” never “the daughter of Annabeth Chase.””

“Oh but she’s a legend! She re-designed Olympus! She led our cabin in battle against the Titans! She even held up the sky! I mean, I know your dad did that too, but-“

“She did it for longer. She was under that thing for over a day, he only held it for at most 20 minutes.”

The girl laughed.

“And, if you ask me, she was the one who did all the work when it came to defeating Kronos. Dad did jack shit, just handed a knife to a guy.”

“Exactly! Just because he was in the Prophecy-“

“Nah, it’s a lot simpler than that,” Olympia said, “It’s because he’s a man.”

They sat in silence for a bit.

She never blamed her dad for overshadowing her mom. He didn’t mean to. In fact, he openly hated the stories that didn’t recognise her for all she did. They were so in love, it was sickening.

“I can’t believe she’s, like, my sister.”

The girl gasped, and grabbed Olympia’s arm, “Wait, does that make me your aunt?”

Olympia shook her head, “Don’t bother with family trees, man, otherwise you get into the whole “my dad’s dad is my mom’s mom’s uncle, which makes me kinda my mom’s second cousin, and my dad her cousin-once-removed”- it’s just too much to get your head around.”

She looked directly into the girl’s grey eyes, “My advice, kid, believe whatever bullshit they tell you about the Gods not having DNA, and just try not to think about it.”

The girl’s face fell. “Oh.”

Then she looked exited again, “Did you come out of her tummy or her head like I did with my mom?”

And there we go, Olympia thought. Geez, they didn’t hesitate to ask the really invasive questions, did they?

She took her three-pronged fork out of her pocket, and fidgeted with it, twirling it in her fingers. Instantly, she realised her mistake.

“Why do you carry a fork around and never eat with it?” The girl asked. More questions.

Might at well get it over with, she thought.

“Gift from Grandpa,” she replied.

“A gift from Poseidon? What does it do?”

She sighed again, and dangled the fork over the girl’s glass of orange juice, and let go. It dropped into the glass with a satisfying plop, and then rose to the surface. No, it wasn’t rising. It was growing. It’s shaft elongated, and the prongs stretched to become longer and way more deadly. Intricate designs started carving itself into the metal. Olympia stood up, and grabbed the shaft of the fork just as it finished growing. A three-pronged death skewer of pure celestial bronze. A Trident.

The surrounding campers gaped at her, open-mouthed.

“Woah,” said one of the Hephaestus campers, clearly someone who hadn’t seen the spectacle before.

“OLYMPIA JACKSON-CHASE! NO WEAPONS AT THE DINNER TABLE! CAMP RULES! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT!!”

“Sorry Chiron,” Olympia called. She twisted a little ring of metal around the shaft of the trident, and it shrank back into a fork. She sat back down.

“It responds to water,” she explained, “get it wet, and boom, Trident.”

She had named it Blue. It was her first word, after all. Or at least, that was the story. Poseidon had given it to her on her second birthday, and she had just looked at it, holding it in her tiny fist, and cried “bloooo!” It was probably just baby babbling, but Dad said it counted.

“So what’s Poseidon like? Do you have water powers too? Can you get me your mom’s autograph? Is your dad really 7ft tall?”

She ate the rest of her lunch in silence, only answering the onslaught of questions from the young camper when she had to.

Cabin 3 offered a pleasant respite from the crowds and the people. She dropped her armour and weapons from the day’s activites by the door and kicked off her shoes.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

(Drawing of Olympia: Art by me)

Her curly black hair, which she’d dyed the tips of blonde, was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Around her neck hung a necklace of leather chord, fourteen different coloured beads threaded onto them, each painted with a different design. Her broad shoulders and thick muscles bulged through her plain navy-blue tank top. Her skin was tanned from spending long hours training in the sun. She had a battle-hardened look to her that meant people often mistook her for a daughter of Ares. But her eyes was what made her stand out most- one grey, like her mother, one green, like her father. Her parents had told her how her birth had ended the centuries-long feud between Poseidon and Athena for good, and she had been given those eyes as a way of symbolising that. Another story. It felt like every part of her body had been attached to a story about something her parents had done. Why couldn’t she just be herself? She had spent 16 years living under the shadow of her parents, she was homeschooled from an early age, and had been going to camp since before she could even hold a sword- the demigod life was all she’d ever known. Someday, she’d get away from it all. She’d sink to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and just study the fish, and she wouldn’t have to worry about people or monsters

Suddenly, she felt something tap her on her shoulder. Quick as lightning, she grabbed Blue and spun around. Blue, still in fork form, was about a centimetre away from the neck of her intruder, who held up his hands in surrender.

“Whoah there!” He said.

When she saw who it was, she lowered the weapon and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Leo!” She cried.

“Hey, how’s my favourite cousin? Or… whatever.”

She looked at him and smiled. Despite him being old enough to be her dad, he was about half her size. With a thin, wiry frame and very little meat on his bones. His wild, curly brown hair framed his pointed face and elfish features. His dark skin was covered in a thin layer of motor oil and grime of unknown origin. He tapped her cheek affectionately, leaving a grubby handprint on her face. He walked over to her bed and leaped onto the top bunk, his legs dangling off the ladder.

“You need to stop growing,” he instructed, “You are getting too big, it’s not fair.”

“You need to stop being so short,” Olympia retorted, then her face broke into a huge smile, “I feel like I never see you anymore!”

“I know, you’re too old for me to babysit now, kiddo,” He complained.

“Well that always ended in disaster anyway. There’s still burn marks on that wall.”

“Did your mom find out?” He asked.

“Nope. Dad told her he just wanted to hang more pictures up. And then he went on a long speech about how nice she looked in that wedding photo, and then took her out for ice cream. I think she bought it.”

“Good.”

They stayed in comfortable silence for a few seconds, and then she asked, “So… it’s great that you’re here and all, but… why are you here?”

“What, I can’t come and visit my favourite partner in crime every now and then?”

“Leo…” Her tone was firm.

Leo’s face was suddenly dark and serious, he paused before speaking, but said, “I think I have news about your brother.”

That was Chapter 1- if this post gets… let’s say… 30 notes, I’ll post Chapter 2.

[kazumist]

hello!

it's been a while :) i know i only drop by here to answer asks (if ever i get any in the first place) but i still think i owe everyone a proper explanation—especially when i've been making promises to myself when it comes to returning.

(more utc, just didnt wanna clog the dash LOL. it's not that long i swear)

don't worry, i won't leave! and as you all may know, i'm usually semi-inactive in the first place because of my forever hectic personal life. even when i'm not that so busy with academics, my days are still filled with agendas due to extra curriculars, events, gatherings, etc. and it honestly has played a huge role as to why i haven't been able to focus on writing in the first place. i'm not really a person who stays at home most of the time whenever i'm in such a busy mood.

but surprise, surprise! life has its own way to make the tables turn for me. not only did my workload finally decrease, my... lovelife has flourished as well :) <3 maybe that's also another reason why i don't feel like writing that much anymore—it's because i finally found someone to fill up my heart even more. (i know love exists because i am full of it—we all deserve it.)

i won't really go into that much detail about how or when since i want to keep things private LMAO. but rest assured he makes me happier than ever. :') and i don't really want for it to seem that our relationship is what caused me to lose motivation in writing (though i have to admit, it has probably played a part i guess). it's really because of me not finding the proper time to sit down and actually focus on it in one sitting. 🥲

rest assured that i will still continue my smaus. i'm still going to finish the shs universe and the other smaus that i plan on making. you could consider this as me taking a proper break and properly addressing it. i have no idea when i'll actually be back but you'll probably just see me post a new episode of love maybe on a random thursday or something HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

however, still feel free to talk to me via inbox! i will still drop by to check my notifs from time to time.

that's all! if you reached this part, congratulations. always remember that love is just around the corner. <3

[drdemonprince]

Reading your experience in the introduction to Unlearning Shame made me feel so seen, and I think it helped me better understand what I've felt for so long. I went through a psychotic episode two years ago, and I deeply feel that shame played a huge part if not both directly and indirectly caused my psychosis. I was so overwhelmed with my workload while being ashamed because I had the privilege to study and live comfortably while so many are struggling. In my psychosis I essentially crafted an entire delusion that could absolve my guilt, that could explain everything about the world and give me a purpose to solve what was wrong. I was still deeply ashamed long after coming out of it, because now I was officially "crazy" and surely everyone could tell. But that breakdown led me to open up to people even though I was scared to make myself vulnerable. I started asking for help cleaning my place and doing the dishes instead of beating myself up for being a failed adult. The journey is still ongoing of course, but knowing the role that shame played in this experience that I hope never to have again is so valuable and I wanted to thank you for that.

Wow, thank you so much for this message. I'm so grateful to hear the opening of the book resonated with you. People really do not get told how much of psychosis, delusions, and other highly stigmatized mental health symptoms are contextual, both social and economic in how they manifest and why. It shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of -- your mind tried to communicate it was at its limit while also offering absolution to you. It is horrible you got pushed to the point it had to happen, but there is nothing wrong with you for the fact that it did. It happens to so many of us, and in our madness and unrulyness and divergence we kick at the bars that keep us from being free as best we can. I am glad that you have come through a really tough, impossible-feeling period with some vulnerability and understanding. Thanks for reading.

[boogernotbogger]

Strawberry ice cream

Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

Rating: teens and above

Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi and y/n meet at calculus class in college and become friends. However, y/n slowly develops feelings for Sakusa.

Word count: 6282

A/N: Please support my works on AO3 here

Weird.

It’s the first thought you have when you see the curly-haired boy poke his head into your classroom. Half his face is obscured by a mask, and you can see two tiny moles peeking out from under his hair.

It’s your second day of college, and first lecture of calculus. People are starting to trickle in, as you’re here early. And yet, the boy looks anxious. He walks in gingerly, and thoroughly sanitises the desk and chair before he sits in front of you, at the window seat. The morning sunlight streams in, and bounces through his curls, making him look like some baroque-style painting. You look out of the window and smile. This is going to be an interesting semester.

~~~

Two weeks later, it is most certainly turning out to be a not fun semester. The workload is already huge, making friends is difficult when your schedule is occupied with purely lectures and sleep, and homesickness, it turns out, is a real thing that you aren’t invulnerable to. 

The masked weirdo in your calculus class seems allergic to people, and for some reason, it is really not easy to pay attention to sequences and continuity and what not, when the only thing your eyes latch onto is a halo of perfectly formed ringlets, interwoven with magical drops of sunlight.

You learn that his name is Sakusa Kiyoomi, he is a volleyball player, and a misanthrope through and through.

~~~

It takes time, but you two start to talk.

It is your third week of college, you just spoke to a blond boy more introverted than you, and you finally got your sleep schedule down. You walk into class in high spirits emboldened by your successes, plop your bag down into your seat, and go stand in front of Sakusa. He flinches, but relaxes by a smidge when he sees you not coming any closer.

“Good morning Sakusa-kun, I’m l/n y/n. we’ve never spoken before and that is kind of weird since we sit close to each other. I’m a first-year statistics student. You?”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi, first year economics. Nice to meet you.”

And thus, started your friendship.

~~~

Two months into your college life, you are fast friends with the blond, Kozume Kenma. He introduces you to Akaashi Keiji, and their respective roommates, two incredibly loud and embarrassing second years, with ridiculous hairstyles. Apparently, the four of them had been friends since their school days and played volleyball together, though the seniors seldom hung out with you as they were always busy.

By now you have also had enough time to get to know your own roommates, to watch sappy romance movies with them, and pledge lifelong friendship to them. Your social life has never been better.

And of course, come calculus class, you meet Sakusa, chat with him about whatever novel you last read, and listen to him describe the intricacies of volleyball. You find yourself thinking that you have never met anyone as passionate about anything as Sakusa is about volleyball.

His dark eyes get a glint to them, and though he refuses to take off his mask, his voice comes out clearer than anytime else. He gestures wildly with his hands, and his hair keeps flopping onto his forehead. He pushes it back impatiently each time, but continues to nod his head off each time you understand a concept clearly.

He kind of looks like one of those little dolls with springs on the bottom, that you stick on your car dashboard for amusement, with the way he bounces on his spot with enthusiasm.

It’s cute.

And you notice he has pretty hands. Like, really pretty hands.

You notice the way his eyebrows quirk in amusement when you talk about the second-hand embarrassment you endure, caused by the heroine of whichever book is your newest obsession. It makes you want to see his full smile, maybe elicit a laugh. You notice the way he raises his right eyebrow until his moles disappear under his hair, when you squeal about something especially hot in the story.

You notice that you seem to be noticing a lot about Sakusa.

~~~

One month later and you find yourself hanging out with the oddest group of friends you have ever had. You have your two roommates, one loud and social, the other adventurous and kind. Then there’s Kenma, who’s always got his nose in a game, and his ears peeled for any gossip he may inadvertently come across. There’s Keiji-kun, and he’s your favourite. He loves his studies, and he’s quiet, but he loves reading and oh boy does he have a talent for overthinking. He’s the most relatable person you have come across in college.

And of course, there is Sakusa. He is reclusive, but by now you know that it is only because he cares more about the germs on people than the people themselves. He tends to hang out more with you or with just the other two boys, than with the whole group. You are yet to figure out whether that is because he deems the other two too germy for him, or because he only likes people who like volleyball.

It had been a surprise to you when you’d introduced him to your group, only for the other two boys to just nod as if they knew him already. And then they’d told you about their volleyball history, and how his school always beat theirs.

“Oh yes y/n, didn’t I tell you Bokuto-san considered him his rival, because Sakusa-san was the nation’s top spiker, and Bokuto-san narrowly missed being in the top 3?” was Keiji’s very succinct explanation of the whole situation.

And that’s how you had found out that not only was Sakusa a volleyball-freak, he was the nation’s top volleyball-freak, and had represented the country several times in the under-19 category. 

(So had Bokuto-san, the owl-like senior who was Keiji’s best friend and captain, but you found that out only when you went to sit in on your college team’s practice sessions.)

(It had bugged you that Sakusa had never told you this before, but you let it go. Sakusa was a very private person, and the only times he spoke voluntarily were when he talked about volleyball. He had no ill intentions.)

~~~

Your first semester ends, and you celebrate with your group by playing games in Kenma’s apartment. It feels nice, talking and laughing with everyone, but after a point, your social battery dips and you find yourself zoning out from whatever banter was currently happening. Something about whether Kenma’s best friend and roommate Kuroo Tetsuro had a better hairstyle than Keiji’s best friend and roommate Bokuto Kotaro.

Honestly though, that wasn’t even a conversation worth having. They both looked stupid. One looked like a rooster shat on his head, the other looked like an owl sponsored his hair gel supplies.

Kenma had dug out an old Monopoly board from somewhere and that was the game currently happening, with you and Sakusa acting as joint bankers. You had both learnt long ago that it is more fun to incite the players against each other than to be one of them. And this was a modified version of Monopoly that you lot had come up with, having a lot of extra and needlessly complicated rules, so it was definitely more fun to just watch.

Sakusa was strangely quiet too. He generally tended to be quiet, but just a couple of hours ago he had gone into a very passionate speech over how strawberry ice cream is the best ice cream to ever exist. He’d accepted no arguments to the contrary.

“It may be pink and look like something Barbie puked, but it tastes exactly like Barbie’s dreams. Strawberry ice cream tastes like freedom and empowerment: I can be anything! It is sweeter than vanilla, not that vanilla is less good, no, vanilla is also a great flavour; it is just that strawberry is superior. Strawberry ice cream is sweet like syrup, like the drinks your grandmother made for you in your childhood when you came home after rolling in mud the whole day. If ‘happy memories’ had a flavour, it would be strawberry. Yes, my argument is based on nostalgia, and you can laugh all you want, but you have to admit that if you had a happy childhood, it was pink. If you didn’t have a happy childhood, well you certainly wish you did. You wish for happy memories and a future you can look out on with hope and love. La vie en rose, I say! Life in pink! That is the wonder of strawberry ice cream! And not to mention, all your childhood drawings of ice cream had a pink scoop dripping off the cone. Whether you want to or not, subconsciously you have all accepted that strawberry is the default, and hence, the best ice cream flavour. Thus, I rest my case.” 

With that, he’d sat back down, and licked off the final drops of his chocolate ice cream, and grabbed the controller for the next round of Mario Kart. You’d clapped, because come on, an impassioned speech like that deserves applause. One single corner of his mouth lifted, and he turned to you to flash you a dimple before his eyes fixed back on the screen. The gesture did not make you imagine what it would be like to poke your tongue in his dimple.

But after that incident, he was mostly silent, the speech probably draining him of whatever social battery he did have. He sat next to you now, calculating the amount each person owed the bank, and adding the penalties Keiji had accumulated from making fun of the strawberry-speech.

Yes, the penalties were for incidents that happened before the game started. You can’t argue with the banker for the banker is God.

You mostly left the banker-ing to Sakusa, while you got lost in your daydreams. Kenma was now in jail because he said that his school’s libero was better than Sakusa’s.

Which reminded you of the last book you’d read. It had had a character who was in jail for most of the story. He’d coordinated his attack plans from there. When the villain came to taunt him, he’d very suavely escaped and kabedonned her. But just when he expected her to swoon from his good looks and his proximity, she’d pulled out a dagger from under her skirt and stabbed him.

You’ve always wanted a dagger to hide under your clothes. Actually, you wouldn’t mind being kabedonned either, but Sakusa had very firmly declared the gesture ‘lame’ when you’d told him about it, and now you remembered that you were supposed to be annoyed at him for it. Because seriously, the audacity!

DHONN!

You jerk upwards to see the group laughing at you. Sakusa had apparently just banged a juice can on the table next to your face to get your attention.

“Huh?”

“You’d zoned out for longer than usual y/n. and you looked pissed. All ok?” Sakusa asks, but he is clearly amused.

“Kabedons are cool,” you declare, and get up to fetch yourself another slice of pizza.

He just snorts.

For some reason, it sounds cute. And now your brain is filled with images of a cute pink piggy with an incredibly curly tail. Like an oinky Kiyoomi. Kiyooink.

You laugh. You are definitely going to tell him this later.

~~~

The next semester starts, and you and Sakusa don’t have classes in common anymore. You see him around campus less, and spend less time together. Now that he has also adjusted to college life, he is paying more attention to volleyball. The end of the previous semester was filled with matches, but this semester he spends less time with the college team, and more time with the national under-19 team. You attend some practices when you can, sometimes with friends. Keiji-kun and Kenma explain various moves to you, and introduce you to other players they know. It is a fun experience. All the boys are like Sakusa, incredibly passionate about the sport, incredibly talented, and at least a foot taller than you. They towered over you when you first went to talk to them, but you soon learn that they are all sweet goofy kids with only volleyballs for brains.

You notice that they maintain a physical distance from Sakusa, only getting closer to him when necessary. But even so, he seems more at-home with his team than in your motley group of friends. It makes your heart ache sometimes, that there is someone right in front of you, whom you want to be closer to, but there is a seemingly uncrossable chasm between you. And yet he would turn towards you and flash a dimple, and you would berate yourself for not being grateful for the attention he already gives you.

~~~

First year ends, and you all go home for the holidays. You make no plans to meet each other, since you will inevitably meet once the new semester starts. You spend your two-month break laying about in bed, watching anime, and reading books.

You also make sure to call and text your friends regularly. Keiji-kun sends you memes, Kenma texts you about whatever anime character you get obsessed with. Your roommate-groupchat is filled with vacation photos of you 3. Life is good.

You notice that Sakusa never texts. Sakusa never calls. Sakusa never reaches out to you. But when you do call him, you both talk for hours, and time passes by in the blink of an eye.

With every phone call, every text, and every laugh you share, you wish and wish he had started it. You wish he had been the first to reach out to you. You wish, for once, he would call you. You wish, for once, he would share something about himself with you that was only for you to know.

You wish, and you wish, and you wish.

~~~

Second year starts, and all your friendships pick up right where they left off. Except that Sakusa is hardly ever around anymore.

When you asked about his absence, he simply said, “I studied hard and played hard during the holidays. Now I do not have to put in as much effort into classes, because most of the hard work is already done. I can focus on volleyball to my heart’s content.”

And that is what he does. You have no idea whether or not he attends his classes, but whenever he has free time, either he is studying by himself, or he is off doing drills by himself. It has been a full year since you became friends with him, and yet, he seems as distant today as he was on the first day.

It hurts. You miss having more free time to spend with him. And yet, you have no right to complain. His first love is volleyball, and he has made it clear to you that his priorities will never change.

It hurts, but you push it aside. You have other friends to spend your time with. On days when all six of you unexpectedly have free time, or on less academically challenging days, your group, including Sakusa, hangs out together. You generally go to the local fast-food joint, he would sanitise the table, and never take off his mask. But he would be there. He would be there for these small moments, and you cherish every mask-covered smile he gives, every sarcastic comment he makes.

You miss your friend, but for now, this is enough for you.

~~~

Second year passes thus: you are swamped with coursework, you hang out with your group whenever possible, you go out exploring the city with your roommates, and you get fleeting moments with Sakusa.

You’re almost happy with the set-up, but each time you talk to Sakusa, you want more. You want to talk to him more. You want him to talk to you more. You want to listen to his excited volleyball rants.

You want the days when your biggest problem was your inability to focus on differentiation because of a head of gold-infused raven curls. You want your friend.

So you call. You roughly know what his schedule is. Sometimes you go meet him when practice gets over, sometimes you call. He is tired, irritable, and excited all at once, but he seems to love gushing over whatever play he tried that day, and you enjoy the moments you spend with him.

He never calls though. He tells you that he appreciates you calling him, because your company is always welcome, yet, he never calls. You know that that in no way implies that he doesn’t like you, and yet, it hurts.

You tell yourself it hurts because he is your friend, and he has a scarcity value attached to him.

~~~

The only difference between second year and third year is that, Sakusa now has an undercut.

The semester starts with your group meeting up to celebrate Japan’s performance in the recent 2016 Rio Olympics. Sakusa and Bokuto had been second-string spikers on the team, and Sakusa had been called on-court multiple times as pinch server. His nasty wrists made it damn near impossible to dig out the ball, even on the international level – the world stage. You were so, so proud of your friend, and your celebrations continued well beyond midnight.

When the party finally ends, it is with Keiji dragging off a mildly-drunk but sleepy Bokuto, back to their apartment, Kenma asleep on the couch, and Sakusa offering to walk you back to your apartment. The other two girls had left already, since they have classes early in the morning and you don’t.

You walk back in silence, and for the first time, it is suffocating. You look up at him, wanting to gauge his mood after such a raucous celebration, and notice that he hasn’t put his mask back on yet. You figured out pretty early on in your friendship that that is a sign that he trusts you aren’t disgusting enough to warrant wearing a mask around. It’s quite flattering really.

“The weather is nice, isn’t it?” he starts, and stops immediately when you snort at the lame conversation starter.

“Well, you aren’t talking, so I thought I could try,” he shrugs, and you smile.

“Not a bad effort,” you answer. “Well, Sakusa-kun, we are being blessed with sunshine these days, and it’s very nice and warm at all times. Although, one could argue that the warmth right now is due to your inherent hotness.”

You look up at him, anticipating his reaction, and he doesn’t disappoint. He throws his head back and laughs, a quiet, precious thing, and you bottle up this moment to keep with you for the next time you miss him.

“I missed this. Training was gruelling, and the matches were exhilarating. I was always so high on emotions that by the time the Games were over, I was just done. Exhausted. Came home and just slept for the next week. I didn’t realise how much I missed your nonsense until just now, when I have to deal with your nonsense.” His eyes are soft, but all you can focus on is-

“Nonsense?! Sakusa Kiyoomi, I will have you know that the only nonsense here is you...”

He laughs again, and you trail off. You’ve never noticed before, but he’s grown. He was always tall and well-built, but there is a softness in the way he speaks now, that wasn’t there when you first met him. The way he carries himself has changed too, shoulders held back and proud. He is still the wary boy you had befriended two years ago, but there is a manly charm that wasn’t there before. And suddenly you want to continue talking. Comforting as it is now, you don’t want the conversation to trail off into the sweet silence it is heading towards. You feel the sudden urge to know him, stronger than you ever have before, and before you can help it, you blurt out, “You could have called me, you know. Or texted. I missed you as well, but I didn’t want to disturb you during the freaking Olympics! But even otherwise, you do know that I would like it if you reached out to me, right? Like on normal, non-Olympic days, you could text just because you feel like it.”

He frowns, and says, “I probably should. Honestly, it’s not like I don’t text you on purpose, I just kind of… forget. I don’t forget you, I just get caught up in stuff, or my brain is filled with TV static, and I don’t reach out to anybody at all. But I’ll try, okay? Yeah, you would probably ditch me if you are the only one forced to keep this relationship going, and that would be a pity.”

He reaches up to ruffle his hair, a rare occurrence because hair is filled with germs, and that’s when you notice it. The back of his head is buzzed close to his scalp, but hidden by the longer curls above. “You got an undercut?”

He frowns at the sudden change in topic, but nods, “Yeah, my nape kept getting sweaty, and other guys in the national team had undercuts and they found it functional, so I thought I’d try it. It does feel very nice actually. I still have my curls, but I don’t have to deal with too much sweat. Why?”

“I noticed it just now. It looks good. Really brings out your jaw. Probably explains why your jaw looks more prominent now. Good going.” You give him a thumbs up as a reassurance that it does look good, and turn around to enter your building. “Thanks for dropping me off, get home safe, okay?”

He waves, and disappears into the night, his own apartment a short walk from yours. You sigh as you climb the stairs.

Good was an understatement. Hot was better. Sexy was probably apt. You wonder if he will let you run your fingers through his shorn locks, and sigh again.

You are a reader. Perhaps all you can do is dream.

~~~

After the party at Kenma’s, college life went back to normal. Sakusa seldom hung out with the group, choosing instead to spend his time on volleyball. But after your conversation, he made it a point to text you every once in a while. True, they were just forwarded ‘good morning’ messages, sometimes memes about clichéd romance tropes, but it was better than nothing. Each text from him made your heart beat just a little faster.

~~~

It does not come as a surprise to you when you realise you have a crush on your friend. On your friend whose heart belongs to volleyball. On your friend who never opens up to you, and who is happy talking to you once every couple of weeks.

You embrace the feeling, and the sadness it brings with it. What else can you do? He’s one of your dearest friends, and he does deserve to know how you feel about him.

But again, you have a crush on someone you already love dearly. Can it even be considered a crush? You’ve had crushes before, and those feelings were always made of just a combination of wild giggling and nervous excitement. This however, this is a warmth in your chest and a smile on your face. This feeling, is a quiet little laugh, dispersing in the night like dandelions in the wind. This feeling is the excited glint in dark eyes when passions are aroused. This feeling is a cute head bobbing along to your words. This feeling is two moles on a forehead, curly hair over a shorn nape, pretty fingers gesturing wildly.

This feeling, it feels like strawberry ice cream on a warm summer day, when you’ve just returned home.

~~~

Obviously, you tell the rest of your friends. You do need people you can fangirl to about him. They’re quite supportive really, given the circumstances. They encourage you to tell him how you feel, but Kenma adds, “You need to remember that he may not reciprocate, y/n. In fact, there is a greater chance he won’t reciprocate. I don’t want you to get hurt or lose your friend, but I do think you would feel better if you tell your friend that you’ve got a crush.”

And that is the problem, isn’t it? You want to tell your friend that you have a crush on somebody. It kills you that if you tell him whom you’ve got a crush on, he’ll probably avoid you. But if you don’t tell him, you’ll suffer in silence, wondering about all the ‘what if’s’.

For now, you bury the matter. You want to enjoy this, this feeling, just a little longer.

And so you simp. You squeal over his voice and his muscles with your roommates, you swoon over every sweet gesture he does, and you endlessly simp over his pretty, pretty hands to Keiji-kun. He’s probably grown sick of you by now, but it is funny to see him annoyed.

~~~

Third year ends with Bokuto signing on to Division-1 team MSBY Black Jackals. 

Your last year of college begins with heavy research for your final-year project. On top of that, you now have to study for entrance exams, and college exams, and explore colleges for further studies. You know that you want to go into finance, and for that you now have to deal with an internship on top of everything else.

All of a sudden, you are under more stress than you have ever been in.

And then in the middle of the seventh semester, Sakusa drops a bombshell, “I think I will move to Higashiosaka after my graduation. I want to try out for the Black Jackals. They have Miya Atsumu and Bokuto-san, and I will be lucky to continue working together with those two monsters.”

Your heart stops. You need to tell him. He deserves to know. You had put off your feelings as a problem for the future, but the future is now.

~~~

Barely a week has passed after this conversation, and you call Sakusa crying, “Kiyoomi-kun, please can we meet? My project is going nowhere, and I think I have way too much on my plate right now, and I feel so selfish saying that to a person loaded with the same coursework as me, and is balancing a professional athletic lifestyle on top of it, but I don’t know what else I can do!”

Ten minutes later finds you both sitting on some bricks in an abandoned alley in your neighbourhood.

You rant and rant and cry out all your overwhelming feelings of helplessness about your current academic load. Sakusa sits quietly, and just listens to you cry your heart out, offering water every time you pause for breath.

“… I think that covers everything, I’m sorry for dumping it all on you so suddenly. I think I just got overwhelmed and had to let it all out of my system. I’ll be fine once I sleep,” you conclude.

“It wasn’t a problem at all y/n. And it isn’t selfish to be overwhelmed, or to tell me that you are. I have been balancing volleyball with studies for my whole life, obviously I’m doing fine now. But thanks for trusting me.”

You sniffle a bit more, and manage a small smile. He presses your bottle into your hands, and you chug down more water.

It hurts. He’s your friend, and he’s perfect and it hurts. You hadn’t sought him out today because you wanted him, but because he is your closest friend and his presence comforts you like no one else’s. but he’s sitting right next to you without his mask, despite your disgusting runny nose, and he’s offering to be there for you when you need it, and he tries to message you because it makes you happy, and it just hurts. You need to tell him.

“There’s one more thing. Just hear me out, okay?” you stand up and start pacing and continue without giving him a chance to reply, “I love you. You are one of my best friends and I love you. Except that I also like you. As in, I like you like you. As in, I have a crush on you. Except that you are my friend and I love you, and is it even possible to have a crush on someone you already love so dearly? Therefore, I think I’m in love with you. And it hurts. It hurts that there’s something, no someone, I want so deeply, and they’re right here, but they don’t want me the way I want them. You love volleyball, and you’ll be in Osaka this time next year, and I could try to look for placements there, but then, I should probably just let go, right? I mean, you barely text me because your brain is filled with ‘TV static’, so really, what are the odds you like me the same way I like you? You find romantic stuff lame and you find germs too germy. So yeah. That’s it. I’ll shut up now before I do irreversible damage to our friendship.”

You finally look up and meet his eyes.

~~~

He’s there.

When you’re smiling, he’s there.

When you get excited about your books, he’s there.

When you worry about your fears coming true, he’s there.

And when you’re at your lowest, he’s there.

How could you have been expected not to fall in love with this man? This man who has been there for you through all your highs and lows, who has smiled for you each time you’ve felt joy, who’s laughed with you each time you planned for the happy days ahead, and who’s just been there each time you needed somebody to be there for you; how could you not fall in love with this man?

You look at him. You look at him and you see your best friend, your confidant, your first love. But for the first time, you see beyond his pretty fingers and his soothing smile and his calm rationale. You see the apprehension in his eyes, the very real fear of what is to come.

And even then, he smiles.

He’s there. He’s right there in front of you and you are looking at him, and for the first time, you see a lover.

He must be able to see the hope blooming on your face, for his own tentative smile unfurls into that quiet chuckling laugh you have grown to love.

“I thought it was all in my head y/n. Your weird flirting and the sexual tension that popped up out of nowhere,” he announced, clearly very proud of having figured you out before you announced yourself.

“Weird flirting? I was not trying to flirt…” you started, before he laughed again and started to stride towards you, gleam in his eye as if you were Miya Atsumu’s toss just waiting for him.

“Wha-“ DHHONNN.

You were too stunned to even flinch. Did he just kabedon you? His left forearm was right next to your right ear, and he had a little smirk on his face, probably excited that he caught you off-guard. It was, without a doubt, a kabedon.

Wait. Did Sakusa Kiyoomi just kabedon you?

Did you just experience the first kabedon of your life from Sakusa-I-think-cliché-romance-hero-gestures-are-lame-Kiyoomi?

Holy fuck do you need to fangirl. Right now.

“You really need to work on your flirting skills,” he breathes, his face mere inches from yours, his arm resting so casually near your face that one would think he practised kabedonning as a hobby.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEE-P“

He shoves his palm against your mouth, cutting off your squeal, and very effectively ruining the moment. Obviously, you lick the offending appendage. He looks scandalised.

“One moment. One moment, y/n! I thought I could surprise you with some lame cliché romance-hero move, and you just have to squeal in my face and lick my hand. You think you can look all cool and profess your undying love for me, but I can’t get one moment to one-up you? That’s it, romance over. We are done here.”

He turns away, as if about to leave, his hand still over your mouth. You reach out to grab him, but before you can, he turns back around and scoops both your wrists up in his one hand and pins them above your head in one smooth swoop, as if he practises this stuff every day as a hobby. His left arm has not moved even half an inch from its place near your face.

All you can do is stare at him as his smirk returns, with a light dusting of pink across his pale cheeks, as though he himself can’t believe his smoothness. Clearly, the ruined moment can be salvaged.

Very wisely, you keep your mouth shut and your squeal inside your throat.

He walks further towards you, until you feel your feet touching and there remain only a couple of inches separating your faces.

He deliberately looks down at your lips, before slowly lifting his face to your eyes. His own lips look soft and pink and pouty, and you have no idea what must be happening on your face, but it must be good enough for him to blush harder.

You have dreamed of kissing the pink off those cute pouty lips for ages and now that you actually can, he isn’t moving. He is just looking at you, drinking you in, as if mesmerised by whatever romantic fantasies are unfurling behind your eyes.

Or maybe he is just waiting for you to consent to him kissing you? Your brain very helpfully provides. 

You close your eyes and nod, unable to bear the intensity of the moment.

It seems that that was all he was waiting for because you immediately feel his hand cup your face, leaving its place near you head. And suddenly, you feel the softest pressure against your lips. 

The moment ends as soon as it begins, and when it becomes obvious that it will not continue, you open your eyes. Sakusa Kiyoomi stands in front of you, your face in his hand, your wrists in his other hand, his face as pink as his lips, and all you can say is, “hey man when you have your moment, you decide to end it even before it starts! Kiss me properly, I seem to be unable to move.”

He starts laughing, and dives back towards your face, muffling his laughs against your mouth. His fingers tighten around your wrists, and you squirm, wanting to touch him properly now that you have got your bearings a bit. His hand doesn’t loosen though, damn volleyball hand training!

He smiles against your mouth, as if sensing the direction of your thoughts, and you feel his knees parting your own. Very weakly, you part your legs, knowing that at this point, you are very pliable putty in his very capable volleyballer hands.

He doesn’t let the moment escalate though. All he does his keep one leg between yours to pull you close. He keeps your hands out of reach of his body, with his other arm somehow magically around your waist as if to pull you into him, and continues kissing you.

You decide to make as much of this situation as you can and let your tongue peek out of your mouth, but he pulls back. It feels like rejection until-

“One step at a time y/n. I need to sanitise my hand where you licked me, let’s not go into both our tongues licking the others’ yet.” You deem this as enough of a not-rejection, your ears giddily ringing with the word ‘yet’, as he releases you.

He steps back, letting your arms fall back to your sides, and caresses your jaw once before whipping out his sanitiser and practically dousing his hand in it.

“Want me to set it on fire? Alcohol is flammable and it has a greater chance of killing all germs,” you tease, as he pulls your hands towards him, sanitising your wrists where his hand had held you.

Once he is done sanitising, he turns to you and says, “In case that wasn’t a clear enough answer- yes, I want to date you as well. I love you, and have, for a while. We’ll figure out the future together, okay?”

And before you can answer, he grabs your left hand again, but this time, simply holds it as you both walk towards your neighbourhood. The sky has turned darker by now, a pretty shade of pink that you think very accurately matches the colour on both your cheeks. All you can do is turn towards him and smile your biggest smile, as your brain finally decides to reboot.

Sakusa Kiyoomi loves you. Sakusa Kiyoomi is yours for the foreseeable future. Sakusa Kiyoomi is holding your hand in his.

Sakusa Kiyoomi just turned one of your deepest kabedonning fantasies into reality with the same hand that is holding yours right now.

You can’t help it. You are a fangirl after all.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……”

“DAMN WOMAN WILL YOU STOP SQUEALING YOU SOUND LIKE A RAT TRING TO EVADE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!”

But his smile never wanes, and his hand tightens around yours, pulling you closer.

~~~

“Hey, I’m really in the mood for some strawberry ice cream right now.”

“Hah, so you agree strawberry is superior!”

[12percentspider]

I've been having my own blood sugar and other health issues lately, and have been really exhausted from work as well. I do my best, though!

But yes, please use lists that show vetted fundraisers. Most of the time if you look at notes in posts and use both your brain and your heart you can find if a fundraiser is verified or not. Yes, some real gofundmes have been impersonated but for the most part people have stolen the images/text and are directing you to a paypal account instead.

^ We have to learn to adapt, chances are you're going to get an ask about sharing a fundraiser and there is an extremely real chance now as of recently that it is in fact a real family in need. The site staff are complicit in genocide and have been terminating blogs with verified fundraisers. There are people who brag about reporting every fundraising blog they see. Don't be that person and don't fall for it.

Yes, the scammers are still using the inbox method but we do have to change how we look at things from time to time. If we are not reevaluating ourselves from time to time, how do we learn? And if we do not learn, we're doomed to cause more harm than good if we do not outright fail.

No, not every fundraiser is going to be on that list [the workload for those who verify these = huge], but use best judgment, not snap judgment. It's not an easy matter, no, because mistaking a real family for a scam will cause so very much harm- but scammers take advantage of both others' kindness and the situations of those in need. Especially when they're profiting off mass murder and ethnic cleansing.

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Day-to-Day Life of the Heathers + Veronica (Pt. 1/2)

This is just a series of headcannons surrounding what I imagine the day-to-day life of the Heathers and Veronica

So the they all sleep in an Alaskan King Bed big enough for all four of them to sleep comfortably

The feeling of their gfs being right next to them all night long helps Mac and Veronica sleep, both of whom have problems sleeping otherwise

Chandler sleeps on one end, Mac next to her, Duke next to her and Veronica next to her

Mac likes sleeping in the middle bc its the most comfy

Veronica sleeps on the end bc she is usually the one who gets up first so she's on the end so she doesn't disturb the rest of them when she gets up

This is especially true for Chandler, if you bother her beauty sleep she will be even more of a bitch all day and no one wants to deal with that

Veronica jokes that Duke sleeps in the middle bc "she's so tiny she needs to be in the middle or she'll fall off the bed"

Duke kicked her after she said that

Veronica usually gets up around 7:30 and goes into the kitchen

She makes coffee for Duke and Chandler, and tea for Mac

Duke likes it black, Chandler with as much sugar and creamer as possible, and Mac doesn't like the taste of coffee so she drinks tea instead

Unrelated but Chandler totally has a super particular Starbucks order and if they get it wrong she knows and throws a fit

The local Starbucks now knows to be on high alert when the 'mean red lesbian' comes into their shop

One by one the Heathers will get up and come get their drinks

Usually first its Mac, then Duke, then Chandler

They'll sit at the island and make small talk about dreams and their plans for the day while they wait for the caffeine to kick in

From there they have to go to work

Duke leaves first, then Mac, then Veronica

Its about a 30 minute commute for Duke to get to the agency she works at

During the drive she'll listen to podcasts or Youtube videos about anything she finds interesting really

Sidenote but her Jeep is her baby, no one is allowed to touch her (Yes her Jeep is a her) or Duke gets mad and everyone knows short people have more rage in their tiny little bodies

One time Chandler bumped into her Jeep with her purse causing the tiniest of dents and Duke wouldn't talk to her for a week

Duke's workload consists of mostly meeting with abused children to get testimonies, as well of those of care providers and other adults who can testify on the child's living situations

These testimonies are then forwarded, if applicable, to the police and legal officials to start the process of removing the child from the abusive situation

Its emotionally taxing having to hear the stories these poor children tell her, but to Duke, having the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in these kids life trumps anything else

Its hard for her, knowing that these resources existed but not having access to them as an abused child herself

She would've killed to be able to have a trusted adult to tell about what was really going on behind closed doors

But to be the adult that she wishes she always had helps her heal a little

The kids call her Ms. Duke and she has a board covered in thank-you drawings and notes from all the kids she's helped over the course of her working there

Her office is designed as a space where the kids will feel comfortable, there aren't huge intimidating bookshelves or anything like that

Its colorful and her desk has various trinkets that she uses to break the ice with any kids who are afraid to talk

There's also a fishtank in there and she has some turtles in there with the fish

They're named after the TMNT

She really does love her job, except for the fact that she can't punch the abusive parents, but thats what JD is for

For Mac, she drives a little pale yellow Beetle

(I got that headcannon from somewhere else, so credit to whoever that was, its been so long I can't remember where I got it from)

She listens to Disney or Musical soundtracks while driving to her Dad's Jewelry store and of course she sings along with them

Her Dad is training her to take over the store when he eventually retires

She has a genuine desire to help the customers find a perfect ring for their spouse and it makes people feel welcome and want to buy from them

But Mac is really bad at the business aspect of things

She cannot do math for the life of her and makes really simple mistakes

She's also really bad at dealing with rude customers, its just generally in her nature to be nice to people (its why she made such a terrible Heather and why she let Chandler and Duke deal with the intimidation parts) so when someone is being rude about prices or whatever she just blanks and doesn't know what to do really

For the longest time whenever a situation like that would occur Chandler or Duke or even Veronica would be there to help her out but at the shop she's on her own

Chandler and Duke are trying to teach her how to be assertive but its like that one Spongebob episode where Sandy tries to get Spongebob to be assertive, aka it goes terribly

Despite all of that she's learning and getting better at handing the business and her dad is feeling more and more confident in his decision to let her take over

Sometimes after the leaves she'll go volunteer at the animal shelter

The dogs and cats and stuff are always happy to see her because she always sneaks them extra treats and pets them

Mac is super knowledgeable about what the animals like and don't like and how to get a scared animal to open up

She's a big help to the employees of the shelter, and they always appreciate when she comes in to help

Sometimes Martha will go with her to volunteer and they'll just play with the kittens for a few hours

She actually helped JD get his dog from the shelter

He came in one day looking for a pet and Mac just happened to be volunteering that day and she helped him find a dog that matched his personality

He settled on a German Shepherd named Duke (It was already named so it was just a coincidence that it was named Duke) and its basically just a Golden Retriever in the body of a Shepherd

Veronica leaves whenever she wants really, as a writer she doesn't have a boss to answer to or hours she has to work, so she really does as she pleases

She only leaves the house because she finds it distracting to be in the house surrounded by her stuff, pets and gfs

She usually goes to local coffee shops or the library and puts in her headphones and just types away

She mostly listens to classical stuff with the occasional musical (courtesy of Mac) or weird ass emo song (courtesy of JD)

She's working on several projects at the same time and just alternates working based on whatever she's feeling at the time

The main one is a story about a girl moving to the US from Africa and getting involved with a drama involving a trio of popular teenage girls and struggling to manage the popularity and how it changes her

That one is loosley based on the events of her high school year (and yes its Mean Girls, I think its interesting to imagine Veronica creating Mean Girls and basing it on her own experiences with a trio of popular girls)

She comes home whenever she feels she's made enough progress for the day

Sometimes she gets stuck and doesn't know how to proceed and when that happens she'll go to the park or somewhere in nature and just walk and think

Being out in nature really helps clear her mind and get herself out of the mental block she's having

Once the rest of her gfs leave, Chandler gets started on the chores for the day

She has to collect all their clothes (There's four of them and they're the Heathers, they have a lot of clothes) and do laundry

She has to put the dishes into the dishwasher and put them back in the cabinets

She vacuums and dusts