#cause the workload is really huge

[reasonsforhope]

"Tilia is a vest-wearing conservation dog that the 444-acre [Mequon] nature preserve relies on for vital conservation and restoration work.

The dog’s responsibilities include sniffing out invasive and endangered species in the prairies, forests, and wetlands of Mequon.

Conservation dogs have become more commonplace in wildlife organizations, tapping into their astonishing scent-detecting abilities.

“Dogs in general already have up to 200 million olfactory sensors,” Cory Gritzmacher, the director of operations at the nature preserve, told Wisconsin Life.

Humans, on the other hand, have about 5 million.

“[Dogs are] already set up and designed for scent detection,” Gritzmacher added. “It’s really just finding a dog that’s motivated, that wants to do it on a regular basis and is excited to do it.”

Tilia was the pup for the job.

One of her main roles is to detect wild parsnip, an invasive species that staff removes once it is found on the property.

Compared to humans, Tilia can find parsnip in its first year, while it’s still close to the ground and camouflaged by other plants. This is vital, since parsnip will start to spread rapidly by the time it reaches its second season in the preserve. 

Studies show that the estimated damage caused by invasive species has cost the United States around $120 billion annually, as it impacts agriculture, recreational industries, and wildlife management. 

By catching invasive species that take hold of local flora and fauna early, Tilia achieves something no humans can.

“The best trained volunteers or staff in the world won’t even be able to find what a canine can,” Gritzmacher said. “That’s the pretty impressive part of it. And who doesn’t want to go to work with a dog?” ...

Tilia began training as a puppy, and now nearly seven years old, she’s a pro at scent detection — which all started with some treats hidden in cardboard boxes...

“As she continues to hit on the correct scent, then she gets rewarded. So, she’s going to get paid again. We do our work, we get paid. She does her work, she gets paid.”

Tilia can also spot Blue-Spotted and Easter Tiger Salamanders, which are endangered in the area. Her other scents include Wood Turtle and Garlic Mustard.

Of course, her workload remains balanced with time off. Her official owner is the director of Mequon Nature Preserve, who is happy to embrace her as the family dog when she’s not out sniffing.

But Gritzmacher, who trains and works alongside Tilia, adores her, not only for her companionship, but for the miracles she is able to work as an asset to Wisconsin’s conservationists.

“Canines are going to start to play a huge role in the conservation field just because of their amazing detection skills,” Gritzmacher said, “especially when resources are limited, staff is limited and you have to search potentially thousands of acres or miles.”

In fact, Tilia was joined by a partner in crime a few years ago: Timber, another chocolate lab who is actually the offspring of Tilia’s sister.

By following in her pawprints, Timber’s “powerful nose will be a key tool” in the preserve’s “land restoration efforts,” according to its website.

“For years, scientists have tried to replicate the power and efficiency of the canine nose,” Mequon Nature Preserve adds on a webpage for Tilia and Timber.

“The results keep coming back the same: The canine nose is second to none. Coupled with an insatiable desire to work and serve, Tilia and Timber help us find things humans often can’t.”"

-via GoodGoodGood, December 2, 2024

[that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict]

"She's a regular here..."

Drug Dealer!Seonghwa x f!reader

CW: mentions of drug dealing/usage (seonghwa smokes), drug dealers!seonghwa and hongjoong, slight fluff, !!SMUT!! (unprotected sex, pls stay safe!!!), reader n seonghwa are dating, seonghwa fucks reader in his fur coat lol , not really proofread?? Idk I tried

My first time trying to write a proper smut scene 😭😭 I hope its okay omg. Wrote this cuz @/ygswl on instagram (best ateez editor btw) brought up the concept of drug dealer! Seonghwa ARGHHHH. I wanted to write a more intense, concept-heavy smut scene but I js tried my best since I'm not familar with smut writing💔💔

Edit: Part 2 is out!!!

Part 3 is out!!!

"Fuck..." Seonghwa groaned, breathing out a puff of wispy smoke. He leaned his head back against the couch as he clocked in the sight of jumbled notes on his mahogany wood coffee table. Orders from customers. Usually, he would've been able to keep up with them, no problem. But there had recently been a huge surge of calls, requesting for the new, trending drug: ARRIBA. And as part of the most reputable dealers in the area, MATZ, he was well-expected to have the best supply. He irritably grinded his teeth together, pre-installed Grillz provided a light, screeching noise.

Taking another drag from his rolled cigarette, his ears perked up at the sound of the door opening. "Hwa, what are you doing?" Seonghwa's business partner, Kim Hongjoong, walked into the shabby makeshift office. Seonghwa didn't reply, merely staring blankly at the ceiling as he absentmindedly played with the blunt in his fingers. Meanwhile, Hongjoong's eyes lingered on the stack of order forms, and he gave a stern look to his tattooed counterpart. "I asked you a question, Park Seonghwa." "What? I'm fucking exhausted from taking calls and names. I've been at it since 11, give me a break." He jerked his head towards a wall clock behind him. A quarter past 3pm.

It had always been this way with the duo. Ever since they started their underground business as barely legal adults, Hongjoong dealt with supplies, and Seonghwa would deal with the customers and their orders. 2 young men in struggling financial situations, who were desperate to make ends meet, starting a drug-dealing business together, it worked out strangely well. This also, despite their constant bickering, formed a strong bond between the two.

Hongjoong rolled his eyes at the response. "Whatever, sure." He tilted his head, eyes settling on the faux fur coat that rested on a chair beside the couch. "Is that new?" "Yeah... I picked it up after getting the payment for that huge order earlier this week." "Ohh, the order for that college frat party?" Seonghwa nodded silently in response, his eyes beginning to glaze over. "Anyways, Yunho says we can expect restock within the next week. ARRIBA's selling out fast, but we can finish these orders right away once the new shipment arrives." Hongjoong rattled off an imaginary list, giving a reassuring pat on the shoulder to his partner. Seonghwa was unresponsive, clearly stressed out from the recent increase in workload, but Hongjoong knew he was listening. Although, that didn't stop him from doing what he was about to do. "You shouldn't keep using this, by the way. It's reaaaally bad for you." With that, he leaned forward and snatched the smoking blunt from his partner's fingers.

Seonghwa hastily whipped his head around, sighing internally at Hongjoong's classic shit-eating grin. He furrowed his eyebrows at the realisation that he had given the man the satisfaction of getting a reaction. "I'm stressed, man. Gotta relax somehow." "I don't think you'll need your weed when your favourite 'regular' is here, though." Hongjoong tilted his head towards the office door, calling out in a singsong voice. "Y/N, you can come in now~"

The mention of your name caused Seonghwa's eyes to immediately light up. He scrambled to snatch the cigarette back from Hongjoong, and quickly crushed it with his heel.

Just a quiet, veterinary student that he had met in a cafe 3 years ago, Seonghwa had adored you from the very beginning. You were the cashier taking his order, nervous on your first day, and fumbling a little with the cash register's buttons. Seonghwa had found your clumsy nature both alluring and endearing, and he had asked you out on a date right away. The two of you had hit it off, and a beautiful relationship bloomed from then on. Even when you found out Seonghwa's line of work, you understood his situation and never judged him for it. It didn't make you love him any less. He would often spoil you with gifts and spend as much time as possible with you. Your college classes and his odd working hours would clash often, but you still found time to drop by his office to visit him. After all, it was quite easy to locate your drug dealer boyfriend. He mostly stayed in his office, only occasionally going out with Hongjoong when they had a large shipment coming in or a customer that wanted to deal in-person. Thus the nickname that Hongjoong gave to you: Seonghwa's Favourite 'Regular'. Despite your support for his business, Seonghwa still hated doing or dealing drugs around you, especially cigarettes. It was part of his line of work, and he was used to it, but he would always quickly put out a blunt or stash away powdery white packets when you visited.

"Seonghwa~ I'm here to visit you! My class today was cancelled, so my afternoon is free," you hummed as you walked into the room in your red checkered pants and (Seonghwa's) oversized hoodie. You offered a smile to Hongjoong, who was already on his way out to give you two some privacy. He winked at Seonghwa just before he walked out the doorway, shutting the door behind him.

Seonghwa's gaze softened as you crashed onto his form on the couch, snuggling into his exposed collarbone. "I missed you..." "I missed you too, sweetheart... you've been so busy with classes lately, I haven't seen you for a full week. Do you even love me anymore?" He sighed dramatically, earning a muffled laugh from you. "My finals are coming up, Hwa. Been rushing my deadlines and finishing up on revision. I gotta do this to earn my veterinary certification, hm?" "Well, anytime you wanna quit your course and live with me 24/7, I'll take care of you. Nothing would make me happier to, actually. MATZ has been doing so well recently." He puffed up his chest. You found it cute whenever he was protective like this. "Okay, Hwa. I'll keep you posted." The two of you settled into comfortable silence.

The quietness and stillness in the air suddenly made him very aware of your movements. He raised his eyebrows when he realised you were being touchier than usual. Your hands were roaming his shoulders, tracing circles over his neck tattoo and gold chains that sat above his unbuttoned collar. The occasional shift of your hips didn't go unnoticed by the tattooed man, either. Seonghwa experimentally slid a veiny hand under your hoodie, blushing when he felt your bare back, marking the absence of a bra strap.

"Sweetheart, are you-"

"Mhm... needy for you, Hwa."

"Oh-- we're in my office now, though, Hongjoong could hear us..."

"Wouldn't you like that?"

Seonghwa's face heated up at the thought of his partner overhearing the two of you. The possibility someone else, especially his best friend/business partner, hearing the two of you fucking in his office turned him on. A lot.

His shy expression quickly changed to a dominant, cockier one. Quickly pinning you onto the couch, he connected his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. He tasted like smoke and the cherry lip gloss you had bought him a month ago, and you loved it. You wrapped your arms around his neck, effectively hoisting yourself up, before pulling away from his lips to kiss and lick at the tattoo scrawled across his neck. Seonghwa groaned at the feeling, his eyes glazing over and landing on his fluffy, new fur coat that was draped on the nearby chair. A devious idea popped into his head.

"Sweetheart, wait... I wanna do something." You stopped sucking at the 'A' on his neck and tilted your head curiously at him. He tugged at the hem of your hoodie, his eye contact with you searching for consent. You let him, of course. You trusted him. He lifted off your hoodie right away, sucking in a breath at the sight of your bare torso. "My pretty girl," he sighed, making you flush a bright red hue. Seonghwa leaned forward to leave a kiss on your breasts and gestured you to take off your pants, before getting off the couch, seemingly to get something. You sat confused, naked except for your dark blue panties, until you saw him grab the fur coat on the chair beside the couch.

The faux fur brushed against your skin as Seonghwa helped you put it on. It was huge, heavy and fluffy, covering everything yet nothing on your bare figure. He stepped back to take you in, a guttural moan leaving his throat at the sight of you naked form practically drowning underneath the fluffy mass of fabric. You, on the other hand, were aching for his touch. A whole week of being apart from your lover, deprived of his love, his intimacy, deprived of him. He noticed your pouty lips and squirming, and chuckled teasingly.

"Can't wait, sweetheart?"

You were about to nod in response, but was cut off when you felt a long finger being pressed against your moist folds. A whiny gasp slipped out of your mouth, and your hands scrambled to find support on Seonghwa's strong forearms. He smiled as he lightly rubbed circles on your clit through the thin fabric of your panties, your whines sounding like music to his chain-adorned ears. "Hwa...hurry, I want your dick in me already," you panted out. Seonghwa scoffed teasingly at your impatient tone. "Patience, sweetheart, I need to prep you first."

His expert fingers tugged aside the fabric covering your pussy, exposing yourself to him fully. Two fingers were pushed into your aching hole, causing you to arch your back at the feeling. Breathless moans filled the room as he curled and thrusted his fingers into you at a torturously slow pace. He knew you were sensitive, and it was driving you crazy how slow he was going.

"H-Hwa..."

"Shhh, I know."

The building knot in your tummy snapped, and you came undone on your lover's long fingers. But just as you began to catch your breath, Seonghwa leaned down to lick up your juices. The cold metal of his grillz shot through your core, drawing out a high-pitched cry from you.

Blinking back tears from the overstimulation, you glanced down at your boyfriend. He was sitting comfortably between your legs, lips and grillz teeth shiny with your arousal, mouth spread in a loving grin as if he didn't just finger-fuck you to an orgasm.

He got up and kissed a tear rolling down your cheek. "I'm sorry, baby, I just had to tease you a little. I'll give you what you want now." Seonghwa picked you up and shifted you to a more comfortable spot on the couch, the heavy coat's fur swishing quietly as he did so. You shivered as the fur brushed against your nipples, perky from being exposed to the surrounding air.

There was a light clunk of a belt buckle, followed by a zipping noise, before Seonghwa finally pressed his pretty cock against your bare stomach, earning a sigh of relief from you. You licked your lips at the sight of his flushed, hard member. "Did you miss me or did you miss my dick?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow when you stared for a little too long. You whined back, and he sighed in defeat before pressing his cock into your entrance, already wet and lubricated from him fingering you open earlier.

"F-fuck! So warm..." Seonghwa hissed as his cock sank into you. You cried out, reaching out to bury your face into his neck when he started to thrust in and out of you. Sloppy slaps of skin, whiny moans, curses and the occasional swish of faux fur against leather filled the room as Seonghwa fucked you into the couch. The air reeked of hot sex and cigarette smoke, but neither of you minded. He gazed lovingly at you through his lashes, admiring how you looked in his fur coat, with his dick in you. The possessiveness that you two had for each other always made him hard whenever it showed.

He winced when you clenched on him particularly hard. "Oh s-shit- you like my cock? You like your drug dealer boyfriend's cock?" You nodded hastily, drool beginning to form on the side of your lips. Seonghwa smirked, but was barely keeping his composure at the sight of you so cock-drunk. He pulled you in with his free hand for a kiss, heavy metal rings on his fingers squishing your face and making your breath hitch involuntarily. The lingering taste of tobacco on his lips made you moan, eyes glazing over from pleasure as his tongue pushed past your lips to invade your mouth.

It wasn't long before both of you came undone. You sighed breathily as your second orgasm formed a ring of white liquid around Seonghwa's dick, and he quickly pulled out to cum onto your bare stomach. Still panting from his orgasm, he gathered some of his fluids onto his fingers, and stuffed your mouth with them. You hummed appreciatively in response, suckling his fingers clean as he admired your flushed, fucked-out expression.

♡♡♡

"Yah, I was only out for awhile! What did you guys do??" Hongjoong snickered an hour later as he waltzed into the room and over to the couch. He quickly clamped a hand over his mouth when Seonghwa shot a stern look at him, index finger pressed to his lips as if to say "shut the fuck up you big-mouthed minion". His other hand was wrapped around your sleeping figure, still naked but bundled up in his fur coat and shielded from Hongjoong's eyes.

Hongjoong raised his hands, exaggeratingly mouthing a "sorry!" that his best friend scoffed quietly at. Seonghwa rolled his eyes and returned his gaze back to you. His heart warmed at the peaceful look you had in your sleep, but his dick stirred at the sight of you covered by nothing but his oversized fur coat. Needless to say, he was definitely giving you a round 2 once you woke up.

If you've managed to read this far, thank you so much for reading my fanfic! 🙏 I hope you enjoyed it 😭

[cryiling]

thinking about that bkdk edating in middle school trope, except they're amino boyfriends 💀

they meet on an all might amino community. katsuki is one of the community mods, and izuku is the leader of an analysis club on there. izuku's posts were often featured and very popular in the community (he was def a microcelebrity), and katsuki always gave him a ton of amino coins on his posts.

for a challenge he's hosting for his club, izuku makes a huge deep-dive post analyzing all might's rise to fame in his bronze age. this post gets close to 10k likes, and katsuki gifts him 5k amino coins on the post. when izuku sees that number, he freaks out and assumes it must be a mistake since that's a huge number, who in their right mind would give him that much money??

he messages katsuki (who's username is 𝓓𝔂����𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 ⛓️💥) (LMAOOOOO) and asks if the amount of coins was a mistake + offers to give them back. katsuki tells him that there was no mistake, and that he just really liked izuku's post. izuku is really flattered that this guy liked his analysis so much, and they continue texting back and forth for a while.

they follow each other and put each other in their bios under "bffs," and a month or two after that, they officially become boyfriends. izuku buys amino+ using all the coins katsuki had given him (katsuki keeps spending his allowance to buy more amino coins so he's super rich). they start matching profile themes after that, switching to a new theme every month. they have matching profile frames and chat bubbles and everything, and izuku makes a sticker pack of all might faces to use when texting katsuki (sometimes katsuki uses the stickers too, but only when texting izuku)

everyone on all might amino knows they're dating, since they're both such high-profile people in the community. they become the community's it-couple, and people love commenting on their walls how cute their matching profiles are. katsuki comments under all of izuku's posts praising his analysis, and izuku always replies with a string of all might heart-eye stickers.

6 months into their relationship, izuku tells katsuki he can call him by his real name. up until now, izuku had gone by the nickname "golden" in honor of all might's golden age. when izuku tells katsuki his name, though, he doesn't get a response. the next day, izuku wakes up to find that katsuki's profile has been deleted entirely.

izuku feels like throwing up. he doesn't know what happened to dynamight, if he caused this, what could have caused this. he debates deleting his account too, ashamed and confused and hurt, but ultimately decides against it. he changes his profile theme back to an aesthetic picture set of all might in his iconic golden age pose, and continues posting on all might amino as if nothing happened. he doesn't reach out to new people on amino again.

when izuku gets into ua and his workload drastically increases, he stops finding time to post on amino, eventually deleting the app entirely (his profile stays up, though).

in second year, izuku is sitting in the common room with his friends, somehow having been roped into a conversation about dating. "you've never been in a relationship before, have you, deku-kun?" uraraka asks him.

his friends' eyes all focus on him, and he blushes. "well, i had an online boyfriend in middle school, but i'm not sure if that counts." his friends gape at him, clearly surprised. some other people lingering about in the common area also tune into the conversation. katsuki is one of them.

"really, midoriya-kun?" iida says, doing his best to hide his blatant shock. "i must say, that sounds rather out of character for you!"

"did you guys break up or something?" todoroki asks.

izuku grimaces, remembering what happened. "i told him my real name, and then he deleted his account. i think it was because of my name, but I guess i don't know for sure."

uraraka frowns. "that sucks! he didn't deserve you anyway. what an asshole move." the rest of izuku's friends nod in agreement at that. out of the corner of his eye, izuku sees katsuki get up from his armchair and storm out of the room.

months later, izuku and katsuki finally start dating for real. izuku is so overwhelmed with happiness, and katsuki's eyes light up every time he sees izuku. one night, though, katsuki pulls him aside. "there's something i need to tell you."

izuku frowns in confusion. "what's up?"

katsuki takes a deep breath. "...i'm dynamight."

this does not clear izuku's confusion. "um... yeah, i know what your hero name is."

"no, it's-" katsuki cuts himself off, then starts again. "i was dynamight on amino, too."

izuku feels his heart drop. he's not sure what katsuki is saying, why he's bringing it up. "you... we were... you mean we dated back in middle school?"

katsuki nods, eyes on the floor. he doesn't say anything else.

"why did you..." izuku licks his lips in apprehension. "why did you delete your account?"

katsuki is silent for a moment. "i freaked out when i found out who you were," he finally says. "i mean, you know how i was treating you in real life back then. and we had been texting all that time, and i had been comforting you from the bullying you were going through, only to realize it was me who was- i didn't... i didn't know what to say. and obviously i was really immature at the time and wasn't ready to process my feelings yet. but that whole thing helped me realize my feelings for you, even though i didn't want to accept that at the time.

"but," katsuki continues, clearly on a roll now, "that still doesn't excuse what i did. it was a shitty move. and i know i've apologized for how i bullied you before, but i'm sorry for this, too, izuku. i know i hurt your feelings. i swear i'll be a better boyfriend this time, i promise. uh- only if... if you still want to be together."

izuku can't even think of what to say for a moment, still silently reeling at katsuki's confession. eventually he says, "no, i- i get it. we were both pretty immature at the time, and to be honest i kind of got over it a while ago. but," he smiles, "that apology really means a lot to me. and of course i still want to be with you."

he leans in to kiss katsuki briefly. izuku doesn't think he'll ever get used to that.

katsuki rests his forehead against izuku's, eyes taking in izuku's face. "i swear i'll be an even better boyfriend than dynamight was, golden."

and then they lived happily ever after :>

[waltermis]

Imagine You Joining The Avengers And Natasha Having A Huge Crush On You

MASTERLIST ↠ NATASHA ROMANOFF MASTERLIST

Summary: Basically the title 🤪

Warnings: swearing, implied sex

↠↠↠ 

EARLY STAGES

- When you first join the avengers, Natasha would be apprehensive around you

- You think that it's because you're the new girl

- You try to be as nice as possible to her

- Leaving her a protein shake after her workouts

- Making sure that her peanut butter sandwiches didn't have any crusts

- and that every single part of the bread was smeared with peanut butter

- Bringing her favorite snacks & drinks to her door when she had a huge workload

- You didn't know why you wanted to do those things

- but you saw how her eyes lit up whenever she found something you left for her

- and it made you feel happy

- Whenever you smiled at her, Natasha could feel her entire body heat up as she blushed bright red

- The team OBVIOUSLY took note of that and would tease her constantly

- One very terrible teasing session caused someone from the team to go the med bay

- Not gonna name who...

- *cough* Tony *cough*

- It was after a huge party that Tony threw did Natasha finally open up to you

- You had inadvertently saved her from a very drunk and extremely creepy douchebag who couldn't take no for an answer

- After you pulled her away, the two of you stayed at the bar while you threw every pick up line imaginable at her

- and each time, she would throw her head back, squeezing her eyes shut as she laughed

- "Excuse me.... But did you come from the vending machine? 'Cause you are a snack!" ~Y/N

- "Oh god! That's terrible!!" ~ Nat

- "Right?! I don't get how guys think that'll work?!" ~Y/N

- "Did you just come out of the oven? 'Cause you're hot!" ~Y/N

- *gagging noises* ~ Nat

- "You're definitely on my To-Do list tonight..." ~Y/N

- "Ew..... Do another one..." ~ Nat

- and by the end of the night, the two of you were wheezing al the laughing

- After that, the two of you became attached to the hip

- Whenever someone from the team couldn't find you, they would look for Natasha and vice versa

- One time, Steve had found both you and Nat hanging upside down from a tree while you taught her how to play 'Patty Cake'

- Another time, Wanda found the two of you reading each other's' favorite stories just so you could fully understand what the other was talking about

REALIZING

- It wasn't until much later on in your friendship –8 months– with Natasha, did she finally understand why her heart would beat faster whenever you were in the same room as her

- Or why she felt angry whenever you went out with someone that wasn't her

- Or why sometimes she would have to physically restrain herself from wanting to kiss your pout when she rejected watching a rom-com

- It finally dawned on her after she spoke with Clint

- *cough* more like Clint slapped some sense into her *cough*

- "Clint! I think I might be sick..." ~ Nat

- "What?! Why?" ~ Clint

- "I dunno... My stomach gets twisted into knots and my heart beats really fast sometimes..." ~ Nat

- "Lemme ask you, does this all happen when Y/N is around?" ~ Clint

- "Yeah why? *gasp* You don't think she's drugging me do you?!" ~ Nat

- "N-no... I don't think that our sweet little avenger would be drugging you...." ~ Clint

- "Then what is it??!!?!" ~ Nat

- "How are you such a good spy and yet so oblivious and naïve when it comes to feelings?" ~ Clint

- "Wha-?" ~ Nat

- "You have a crush on N/N, dumb dumb!!!" ~ Clint

- "What?! No I don't!!" ~ Nat

- "You said that she had the breasts of a Greek goddess!" ~ Clint

- "What!? When???"

*flashback*

- When the team first began discussing whether they should accept you into the avengers or not

- Natasha may have let something slip

- "C'mon!! She can't join us!!!" ~ Tony

- "Why not, Tony?" ~ Steve

- "Are you kidding me?! That woman has the nose of a bloodhound!" ~ Tony

- "And the breasts of a Greek goddess..." ~ Nat

- "...Nat...?" ~ Clint *end flashback*

- "Oh my god!!" ~ Nat

AVOIDANCE

- After finding out, Natasha avoids you as much as she can

- You're confused thinking you did something wrong

- Every time you would enter a room, Natasha would flee immediately

- the only thing convincing you that you didn't imagine her would whatever she had left behind when fleeing

CONFRONTATION

- It took weeks before you were able to corner Natasha

- She had been taking a shower when you quite literally barged into her bathroom

- You didn't care anymore

- You had waited long enough

- You pushed her against the wall, still fully clothed questioning her

- "Why are you avoiding me?!" ~Y/N

- "W-what the fuck are you doing in here?!?! I'm taking a shower!" ~ Nat

- "Well, you have been avoiding me for practically 2 months now!!! I wanna know what I did wrong!!" ~Y/N

- "You mean besides coming here while I'm showering?!?!" ~ Nat

- "Nat please! I miss cuddling together under a fort we made during movie nights!! I miss 3am baking!! I miss complaining about every dumb move the Kardashians make! I miss our friendship!" ~Y/N

- "That's just it!! I don't want to be just friends!!" ~ Nat

- "W-what?" ~Y/N

- "I lo- like you!!! A lot... and I can't stand being just friends with you!!!" ~ Nat

- "I love you too, Nat...." ~Y/N

- "You do...?" ~ Nat

- She would have the most vulnerable look in her eyes

- her eyes would be glassy with tears as her bottom lip trembled slightly

- "Yeah... I was terrified that I was the only one..." ~Y/N

- You would lean in slightly when you'd stop

- "Can I kiss you?" ~Y/N

- "Yeah..." ~ Nat

- Consent = 🥵🥵

- The two of you would spend hours in the shower...

- 😉😉😏😏

AFTERMATH

- Natasha would be the best girlfriend

- Peppering your face with kisses every morning to wake you up

- Bringing you, your favorite flowers whenever you two had a date

- which was every week

- Reading you stories like 'Little Women' when you couldn't sleep

- Her calling you Russian pet names will never fail to make you blush

- "Morning, moya lyubov'! Did you sleep well?" ~ Nat

- "Thank you, detka!" ~ Nat

- "Ya tebya lyublyu, dorogoy..." ~ Nat

- And in turn you were just as good as a girlfriend to her

- Comforting her whenever she would have a nightmare about her past

- Sitting next to her in the shower, the both of you fully clothed, when a mission goes sideways and agents had died

- "It's all my fault..." ~ Nat

- "No it's not" ~Y/N

- "It is!! I was in charge! And I let them die..." ~ Nat

- "Babe, you did everything you could. The intel you got from the mission was clearly altered and it was a trap! You brought back as many people as you could and you saved over 20 kids from getting trafficked! That's a huge win. And yeah, it sucks that agents died, but I know that they would be proud that they sacrificed their lives so that those kids will have a better life! You're not gonna feel better sitting here feeling sorry, you have to honor what those agents did and thank them." ~Y/N

- "I love you so much, detka. Thank you for being here." ~ Nat

- "'Course... where else would I be? And I love you so much too." ~Y/N

- Reassuring her that she had wiped her ledger squeaky clean

- Of course she still had her moments of doubt but you were always there guiding her through it

- Learning Russian so the two of you could have full on conversations without the team understanding a single word

MEETING THE WIDOW FAM

- Meeting Yelena for the first and getting along amazingly

- the two of you would be working together to prank everybody

- like one time, the two of you painted all of Tony's Iron Man suits Captain America colors

- Or another time where you wrapped Sam's room in saran wrap

- took him nearly 4 hours just to cut through everything you guys wrapped

- When you met Melina and Alexei, the two were cautious around you

- but they soon opened up to you when they realized that you weren't gonna harm them

- Exchanging recipes with Melina

- Drinking contests with Alexei which left you drunk as hell and regretting your life decision the next morning

- It was safe to say that Natasha was head over heels for you

- and you for her

- And that was all that mattered to anybody

↠↠↠ 

1411 words

[theweirdwideweb]

I reported my boss to HR for discrimination last week. Please tell me if I'm crazy.

My old boss got promoted so around October I got a new supervisor. We've been coworkers for about 5 years and had a friendly relationship. I'd been to her house, met her kids, we chit chatted a lot. When she started approving my time cards she noticed I was using about 3-5 hours of PTO per week at random times. I explained this was an informal arrangement I had with my previous supervisor due to my disability. I have C-PTSD and ADHD which honestly make it difficult to get through the day pretty much every day. Sometimes I need more breaks and if I'm using my PTO and being honest, who cares right? Well the new supervisor cared. She told me that if I couldn't be a full time employee they couldn't justify our headcount and my job was on the line unless I made this a formal arrangement. I was really hurt but I did it, I got all the doctors notes together and figured--while I'm formalizing it, I actually do need extra therapy so I'm gonna make my FMLA (family medical leave act) time include these sessions.

All this is approved obviously because one thing I'm not is self diagnosed. I've got medical records a mile high. So starting in January this official leave time goes into effect and I can use up to 7 hours of PTO per week. Before all this began my supervisor consistently praised me as a "rockstar" employee, saying I was the only person on the team who truly follows the rules. In general I was thought of as an excellent worker and had received a promotion. The team that I lead smashed our goals for 2023. But, strangely, once I start the FMLA my supervisor begins complaining about my lack of productivity. I kept a spreadsheet as a tool for my ADHD where I tracked how I was spending my time so I volunteered to let her see it so she could figure it out. Instead of sending the spreadsheet tracking my work in 5 minute increments once or twice, this woman has had me sending it every week for the past 7 months. Every Monday we have our 1:1 and she lets me know how poorly I'm doing. She also sends me an email on Mondays where she counts every email I have in my inbox, every claim I have across multiple programs, every minute of meetings I have scheduled and sends me the amount of time she expects it to take and if I don't make it then we have to talk about my "problems".

Now I'm practically never making it. I've appealed to her and to her boss so many times that there is something wrong with this formula they've come up with to calculate my workload--and they both just think I'm lying. Long story short in May I started measuring my time not on the spreadsheet but by the individual tasks in the email and not only am I keeping up, but there's a full 5-6 hours of work every week that she hasn't been counting (including 3 hours talking on the phone---with her!). I bring this up at our 1:1 in late May and say, See there really is something wrong with your measurement. I'm right on track productivity wise with these tasks. She doesn't acknowledge at all the flaw I've found in her formula but DOES say, "I do think there's been an improvement in your productivity and I expect it will continue to improve as you get more therapy." Full on MASK OFF. So my "productivity issues" are improved by therapy, meaning she's been ascribing those issues to my disability. Incredible.

I go to HR the next day to have this interaction on the record. First time I've gone to HR about anything ever. They are so concerned that they are going to launch an investigation and I tearfully plead with them not to because my boss's boss is out on medical leave and I don't want to cause huge problems while she's away and can't moderate. I didn't realize it would automatically cause an investigation to report this. The lady takes pity on me and says they won't investigate for now.

The VERY NEXT DAY my supervisor tells us in a team meeting (other people there to witness) that she's got a funny story about her son. It's some innocent story about how he's grounded and can't go to a party, but she continues on by talking about how she has to be extra strict with him because he has ADHD. If she doesn't enforce consequences, he'll never learn! And he has to learn because when he grows up his boss isn't going to take his ADHD as an excuse. "Policies are policies" she said, "Your boss isn't going to accept an answer like I know I was supposed to do four things but I only got to three because...." She even went further talking about how he's having trouble learning to drive because of his ADHD and just laughing about it. When he has to do something, she says, she has to remind him multiple times and set timers and double check with him otherwise he'll forget.

So I'm fucking flabbergasted at this point, right? This whole time I've been feeling like this time tracking is discriminatory and here she is just spelling it out for me in neon letters: YES, IT ACTUALLY IS. So I'm biding my time until her boss gets back from medical leave. But after 3 weeks of showing her that her method is flawed she tells me I don't have to do the spreadsheet anymore. Her boss is back but cancelled our first meeting, so I figure: If the bullshit stops, for the sake of my career and mental health I'm gonna let this go. My supervisor goes on vacation for 2 weeks. I'm doing my work exactly as I want to without the added pressure and everything is going great.

Once she gets back though we have our 1:1 and she asks me where my emails were on the 2 past Fridays telling her if I got all my work done. Which she never asked me to do, btw. Reader---I mcfreakin lost it. I belligerently asked why this was still necessary, that I felt picked on and bullied, that she isn't doing this to anyone else on the team, and that I'm sick and tired of constantly being demoralized by her leadership. I told her that I was going to talk to her boss directly about this situation. She was pissed. She actually unfriended me on facebook which for middle aged women is like throwing a grenade.

Next day I talk to her boss. I bring my evidence because of course I've been taking notes. The situation is serious. HR has become involved. And just because there are anti-retaliatory rules for reporting protected concerns doesn't actually protect me from getting fired. Suddenly I'm fearful about everything. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my job and my health insurance, bye bye therapy,, bye bye surgery I need. I've been at this job 6 years and the animosity is at an all time high. Christ almighty.

[bugan3]

Masked Man 1

Couples:Namjoon X Reader

Summary:You're struggling to adjust to Korea, when an unexpected clash with a mysterious, masked man gives you the comfort you need, even though you don't know who he really is.

Content:Fluff, mystery, deception(Not infidelity), sex, namjoon!idol, Reader!salaried, dating, multi-part story, jealousy, angst.

It was early April, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, painting Seoul in a romantic shade of pink—just as you had imagined before coming here for work. The thought of fulfilling a childhood dream—traveling to the land of K-beauty, K-pop, and idols—brought a warmth so profound that you couldn’t help but smile. But reality was harsher than you had anticipated.

Although you came here for work, daily life was full of challenges—not just the language barrier but also the cultural differences. You felt the weight of disapproving looks from your colleagues every time you accidentally touched someone or made more noise than seemed acceptable here. You felt awful when your invitations to hang out were declined, as though you carried a contagious disease. That isolation weighed heavier than any workload.

To overcome this, you enrolled in several Korean classes, hoping that one day you could truly connect with someone. For now, your only outings were with yourself and your faithful companion, Susy. She seemed to be the one constant in such a strange world.

However, something unsettling had started happening. Posters of missing dogs appeared in the neighborhood, and stories of a tall, hooded man lurking around parks and yards were circulating in local chats. It was said he stole dogs for illegal breeding operations. Just imagining Susy being taken to a place like that made your skin crawl. You wouldn’t let that happen to her.

While walking with Susy in the park, she sniffed and explored everything around her with excited energy. Suddenly, an enthusiastic golden retriever appeared, wagging its tail so vigorously it was impossible not to smile. Susy gave you her pleading look, silently begging to play with her new friend. But you hesitated. The golden retriever was huge compared to your English bulldog, whose chubby frame wasn’t built for running or jumping.

Susy, however, was persistent. She began tugging at her leash with determination. The golden retriever, as if trying to help, jumped and stepped on the leash, causing it to slip from your grasp. The force nearly made you spill your coffee as Susy dashed after her new playmate.

"Even she’s better at making friends," you thought bitterly, though you couldn’t help but feel happy for her. That happiness, however, turned into alarm when you saw a hooded man approaching the dogs. Something about his posture, the furtive way he moved, set off all your alarms.

It was him—the dog thief. You knew it the moment he reached out to grab the golden retriever’s collar.

Your heart pounded as you sprinted toward them. "I won’t let you take them!" you thought with determination. The man, ignoring your presence, was already reaching for Susy. You didn’t know how to stop him, but you couldn’t just stand there. Gathering all your courage, you tackled him from behind.

The impact caught him off guard, and you both hit the ground, stunned by the fall.

“What’s your problem? Who are you?” he growled between heavy breaths, still clutching the golden retriever.

“Let go of the dogs!” you shouted, trying to sound firm as you stood up. But he didn’t stop. Fear and anger churned inside you.

You lunged at him again, grabbing him with all the strength you could muster. “Someone call the police!” you yelled at a couple who had stopped to watch the scene as though it were a spectacle.

“Alright, alright! Let go of me! This is a misunderstanding!” the man said, though his tone was more irritated than apologetic.

Taking advantage of a brief distraction, he twisted and pinned you in a tight, awkward hold. The air around you grew heavy, but you refused to give up. "This is not a misunderstanding!" you shouted, struggling, your eyes fixed on Susy, who now watched the scene with her head tilted. “I have to protect her,” you thought, fighting to break free.

“Why are you attacking me? Are you crazy?” he barked as he finally managed to free himself and scrambled backward. You knew the only way to stop him from escaping was to keep him occupied until the police arrived.

“You tried to steal my dog! How do you expect me to react?” you yelled, calling Susy to come to you, but she was more interested in playing with the golden retriever. “Traitor,” you thought, frustration tightening your throat.

The man, looking tired of the ordeal, ran a hand through his hair.

“I wasn’t trying to steal your dog. I was just petting her, and that’s my dog, Nutty. Who do you think you are, attacking someone from behind?” he said, his tone irritated but laced with exhaustion.

You couldn’t believe this man, who so clearly looked like a dog thief, had the audacity to blame you. “Really? That’s your dog? Then if you call him by name, he’ll come, right?” you challenged, crossing your arms and glaring at him skeptically.

The hooded man huffed, visibly annoyed, and tried calling the golden retriever by the supposed name. The dog, however, showed no interest at all. Your confidence grew at his failure.

“See? Still want to keep lying? You look like a thief, and you definitely tried to take my dog.” Your finger pointed accusingly at him, as if that would bolster your argument.

At that moment, a police officer approached. “Good morning. I’m Officer Hung. What’s going on here? We received a report of an altercation in the park.” His gaze shifted between you and the hooded man, assessing the situation.

“Officer, he’s a dog thief!” you tried to explain in your limited Korean. The officer seemed to grasp the gist, as he turned to the man with a raised eyebrow.

“Officer, this woman attacked me out of nowhere while I was walking my dog.” The man spoke in perfect Korean, his calm tone contrasting with your agitation. Suddenly, he seemed like a decent person, making you appear irrational.

The officer sighed, visibly exasperated. “Do you have any proof that the dog is yours?”

“Not right now. I left my phone at home, but…” The man searched his pockets, as if hoping a solution would magically appear. Something in his desperation pricked at your conscience.

“We’ll settle this at the station. Bring the dogs, and we’ll verify the facts. Alright?” the officer said, glancing between the two of you.

You nodded silently and went to fetch Susy, while the hooded man did the same with the golden retriever. As he grabbed the golden’s collar, the dog wagged its tail excitedly, leaning into his touch. A small seed of doubt crept into your mind.

“See? He’s my dog,” the man said, stroking the golden retriever gently as the dog gazed at him with adoration.

“How do I know that? He could act like that with anyone,” you replied, trying to sound firm, though your voice wavered.

The man sighed, exhausted. “Look, I can’t go to the station. If anyone finds out I was there, it could ruin my life. Please… I’m begging you, don’t do this.” His tone was so sincere that, for a moment, you believed every word he said.

Before you could respond, the officer signaled for you to follow him. “Are we done? Let’s head to the station. Sir, please don’t resist.”

The man raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Officer, there’s really no need to go to the station. If you’ll give me a moment, I can explain better.”

The officer frowned, clearly fed up. “I’m sorry, sir, but we need to verify the facts in a more suitable location. This is not optional.”

As you walked, the golden retriever turned to you. When you tried to pet him, he huffed and bared his teeth. “Maybe I was wrong after all,” you thought, your face flushing with embarrassment.

“Officer, I think I made a mistake,” you said, your voice trembling as you bowed deeply. “He’s not a thief. I confused him… because of the mask. He’s my neighbor. Please forgive me for causing trouble.”

The officer looked at you with clear irritation. “Miss, you can’t just attack people like that. What if someone else had stopped you, or if this man had been seriously hurt? You need to be more careful before acting impulsively.” His stern gaze made you shrink back. He then turned to the man. “Are you sure you don’t want to press charges?”

“No, no. She’s my neighbor. I know she didn’t mean any harm,” the man sighed, shaking his head as though too tired to argue anymore.

When the officer left, your face burned with shame. “God, how embarrassing.” You bowed again to the man. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ve been having a really hard time here. It’s not easy adapting to Korea. When I thought you were going to take Susy, I just… I didn’t know what to do.”

“I wouldn’t know what to do if someone tried to take Nutty, either. Thanks for not taking this any further. You actually saved me from a much bigger problem.” His voice was sincere, though he maintained that reserved air that seemed to be part of his personality.

He extended his hand, and you shook it, still feeling like an idiot.

“Susy’s all I have since I came to Korea. If I lost her…” Your voice broke, and before you realized it, tears started to fall.

“Don’t worry.” He offered a light, playful smile. “Even though you made me exercise more than I planned, I think I’ll forgive you.”

“How about we grab a coffee to calm down?” he said, his tone softening.

Maybe, for the first time since you arrived, you had found someone interesting. There was something about him—a mix of mystery and reserve—that piqued your curiosity. You didn’t know who he really was, but you were certain you were about to be surprised when you discovered the truth about this hooded stranger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading!

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 12

a/n: took me long enough, but it's here. Not really happy with it, but hopefully you'll like it Warnings: Difficult themes, alcohol abuse, strong language <- Chapter 12 - did I cross the line ->

Summer break was almost over, the heat slowly dying out, and the sun was peeking through the clouds less and less. We spent as much time outside as the weather and our workload allowed us to. 

Balancing the life I led with the pack, which laid a heavy burden in the form of keeping a secret and having a best friend who couldn't know said secret, was delicate and stressful. I promised not to spend time with Sam, who so badly hurt her, but now that I knew why and how strong a bond like imprinting was, I couldn't exactly blame him. I did, however, let my disdain for how he handled it be known.

He knew my stance and respected it. He knew it wasn't ideal, but he hurt Emily by that point, and he couldn't stomach hurting Leah in the same way. In his eyes, the pain he caused her was better than the physical danger he now posed. 

Emily tried to mend her relationship with Leah. Telling her it happened when she was mauled by the bear, and that Sam was there for her every step of the way. Clarifying that their feelings developed after he had broken up with her. 

That obviously didn't go over well, and since then, Leah stopped all contact with her cousin.

I winced thinking about it. Of course, she wouldn't take that version well. Her cousin stole her boyfriend, who would take that lightly? And since Leah was my best friend, my sister, I stood on her side. But I couldn't forget how Emily helped me when my world felt like it was falling apart. I knew now that she tried to fight the bond, just like I had, but it didn't work. 

Imprinting was for life, and the only thing that could break it was one's death. I could almost feel it pulsing with my every breath, like a lifeline connecting me to the one thing that mattered more than life itself.

Letting the engine die out, I dug the keys out of the ignition, staring ahead. Clearwater’s house was huge, compared to Paul’s or Sam’s, having four bedrooms, a cozy kitchen always smelling of fresh bread, and a living room playing with different colors of artwork and rugs that overlapped.

The outside planks were painted with a fresh coat of white, and colorful flowers decorated every windowsill. I sighed, stepping outside to be met with Seth’s contagious grin. “Lizzie!” He yelled out, his arms already around me, almost knocking me to the ground. 

“Hi, little S.” He looked up, his face lightening with another one of his grins. The world might be cruel, but it didn’t seem to get to Seth just yet.

And I hoped it never would. 

He let go, almost jumping up and down with energy only a child could have. “I need to show you the new game I got. Come on.” He tugged on my hand, toward the house. 

“She’s my best friend, Seth. Let go of her before you bore her to death.” Leah finally passed through the front door, a rare smile decorating her sharp features. 

She made her way to us, almost forcing Seth’s hand away. He glowered at her, which didn’t last long before the signature grin returned. He snickered something back under his breath as he went around to the backyard, soaking up the sunlight while it lasted. 

“Come on, let’s go to my room.” She ushered us through the house and up the stairs before I had the chance to say hello to the other residents. 

Leah’s room was an utter chaos, just like it always was. CDs everywhere, just not on their designated shelf, clothes hung over the chair and papers all over the desk.

She plopped on the bed, the springs groaning under her weight. Her smile faded, replaced by a small frown. There goes the good mood she tried to keep for Seth’s sake. 

“I hate it here.” She grunted. 

I chuckled, rolling my eyes as I sat on her chair, moving the clothes to the floor. “As if the world doesn’t deserve it.” 

“More like Sam deserves it. Can you believe his nerve?” She narrowed her eyes, her face twisting into an angry expression. If I were the target of her eire I might even fear her.  

But alas, that was not the case. 

Yet. And hopefully, it never would be.

I didn’t want to talk about him, or Emily for that matter. Guilt twisted deep in my stomach, tightening in a knot. My lips formed and folded into a thin line. “I really can’t.”

“And she stole him. Right after we broke up. If that isn’t a bitch move, I don’t know what is.” She shook her head, barring her teeth. “Ugh, and now like it isn’t enough, I’m sick. The universe is really fucking with me right now.” She grumbled, turning to lay on her stomach. 

A smirk formed on my face. “Nothing like screaming fuck you universe to deal with that issue.”

She laughed, breaking into a cough. Alarm bells shot through my body as I jumped to her, making sure she was alright. But she waved me off, inching away as her coughs lessened in frequency.

“Are you okay?” I said, worry lacing my voice.

She nodded, clearing her throat, her eyes glassy with tears. She moved to stand up. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re burning up.”  My face scrunched as I tried and failed to convince her against her already planned idea.  

“Don’t be a chicken, come on.” Her fingers enclosed my wrist, already tugging me toward the door. She took the stairs by three, not caring I almost fell multiple times. 

Typical. 

Ignoring Sue’s calls of disapproval, she dragged me into the forest, despite my protests. The trip to the cliffs was quick, especially since it was quite close and she was almost running to get there. Branches were lynching our faces and hands, leaving red marks that stung, but she didn’t seem to care.

But I should have, since it would be the first thing I would have to explain to Paul, and his angry expression that would certainly follow. 

She screamed just as we got there, yelling at the top of her lungs like a crazy person. The curses left her lips so effortlessly, it was almost impressive. 

I laughed, joining her, not caring that the wolf ears might hear. I found myself hoping they would. 

The last week of summer break rolled around and Leah didn’t seem to get any better. Sue decided it was for the best to put her in quarantine, not letting anyone have any contact so she could get rid of the nasty bug. Thankfully, they invented phones for this exact reason. 

"Hm, I was thinking we could bake blueberry scones. I'm getting tired of the different types of muffins. What do you think?" Emily turned her attention from the fruit in the supermarket in Forks, bringing me back to reality. 

I offered to drive her since we needed groceries, and the little shop in La Push didn't have a large enough selection. Not to mention how I avoided being seen with anyone but Paul by everyone, not just Leah. Sue and Harry, who knew about werewolves, were still bitter at how Sam handled it. And I didn't want to be put in an awkward position of choosing, even though I knew that I should choose Leah.

It shouldn’t even be a question.

We've had many conversations about this topic with Paul. And all of them ended with us disagreeing. He insisted that Sam couldn't do anything about the bond, and his breaking things off with Leah was the best-case scenario. I suggested that breaking up over the phone is cowardly. 

Paul, of course, pleaded Sam's case, but I didn't want to hear it. He could have waited for her to return. And Emily could have tried harder to just be friends at least till the end of summer. The secret was delicate, but I still reprimanded them for not telling Leah. It would have made things so much easier.

"I'm game, we could grab strawberries and raspberries, too. Put them in the freezer so we have different dessert options for the next week or two." She hummed in agreement, bending to pick up what I suggested and putting it in the cart. We swiftly went through the shopping list, picking up snacks we intended to eat on the way back to Em's house.

"We're such wifey materials." I nudged her with my shoulder, laughing. Her head went flying back in response, agreeing.

"They should put a ring on it."

Emily and I exchanged conspiratorial looks, "Oh, they'd better one day or we're stopping all the baking and cooking. Defenestration." We laughed again before we finished loading the car, leaving the supermarket behind us.

It was only in good spirits. Paul and I weren't even officially back together, but his almost dying put things into a different perspective. I still gave him grief from time to time, but we couldn't stay away from one another.

After baking, the boys ate the whole batch in one sitting; if it wasn't for Emily's foresight, we wouldn't have had a single scone. Paul ate by far most of them, but to his credit, he wanted to share for a kiss or two.

He wanted to accompany me back home, but Sam ordered that they needed to get back out there. He apologized to me after, but I already knew the drill. Before Paul could try to defy his order, I intervened, saying he would be patrolling all around, and that would keep me safe, too. "Be safe," I gave him a soft peck on the cheek, he melted in my arms, and let me go home without another question.

I parked my car in the driveway. Dad wasn't home yet, shocker. However, Leah sat on the porch stairs. My smile faltered when I spotted her expression. Anger was shining in her features, but what really made me gulp was the deep sense of betrayal that flashed in her eyes. I put two and two together quickly, wincing. She saw me shopping with Emily.

Stepping out of the car, I tried my best to keep a friendly spirit. "Hey there, soldier." I made my way to her, a cautious smile playing on my face. Her expression hardened further. She stood up, taking the next few steps toward me.

"How could you?" She spat.

I winced, "Leah, it's not like that."

"Oh, spare me that bullshit! Were you laughing with them? Behind my back? Oh poor Leah, all alone now that we can kick her to the curb." Her words struck hard just as she intended them. 

I never got a taste of this side of Leah because she was always kind to me. We fought from time to time like any friends would, but never over something serious. And I didn't know if my betraying her like this could ever be overcome.

I pleaded, “I would never do that to you, I’m your friend.”

“You're not. You might not know, but friends don't stab each other in their backs.” I could see her shaking with anguish, and she had every right to be angry with me. I broke her trust by fraternizing with not only her ex-boyfriend but also her cousin, who stole said boyfriend.

"I-I'm so sorry. I know they both hurt you deeply. I understand that, but they're..." I tried and failed to find words. How do you tell your best friend that she is not the one for him? That fate decided that her cousin was better suited for the one she still loved. 

I took a deep breath before I continued, "I'm not exactly their biggest fan either, but when Paul got hurt, she helped us through it. She saved his life, I owed her." I couldn't tell her the truth, and it had broken my heart into pieces.

"No, you don't understand, if you did, you would tell me no matter what. How about how I'm hurting? I heard you two out there, wifey material." She spat in my face, "I want nothing to do with you. You're dead to me." She twisted, running in the direction of the woods from the situation. The glimmer of her tears glistened on her cheeks, mirroring my own.

I shouted, running after her, "Leah, wait." 

She didn't stop, running deeper into the woods. Well, there went my plan to avoid it now that I knew what kind of predators loomed within it. Ducking to avoid a branch smacking me in my face, I continued to follow her. She yelled at me to leave her alone, but I was never really good at following orders.

She suddenly turned to face me, making me stop abruptly, heels digging into the moss-covered ground. We were at our spot, and memories came flooding in as laughter echoed in my mind, the memories now tainted with today’s argument and the quilt that kept my throat thic with tears. 

Did she come here intentionally, or was it a cruel accident? "Elizabeth, I swear if you won't leave me alone..."

She was shaking with anger, baring her teeth. Her gaze bore into mine, making my mind go blank. The terrifying truth lay before my eyes, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it from happening. "If you think I'll do that, then you don't know me."

She snarled, "I don't know you, because my friend would stand by my side."

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't have a choice." I winced right after the words left my mouth. I sounded like Paul, and I hated it. The irony was laughing in my face. Where was my quick wit when I needed it? On vacation, or maybe it was my conscience telling me to stop lying to Leah. 

A manic laugh sounded from her lips. "I fucking hate you."

I shook my head, "You don't mean that."

She stalked closer, sneering, "I mean every word of it." I never saw her this angry, not even when she spat in Sam's face every insult possible after returning from the family trip. 

"I never wanted to hurt you. Let's both calm down and talk about it." My hand extended toward her, coaxing her to consider the idea. My eyes locked with hers. She stopped, seemingly to think about it, her gaze glazed over. 

But then she shook her head violently, blinking the confusion away. "Calm down? What, you want to have tea, too?" She yelled, and she trembled more with anger with every step she took toward me.

My eyes widened as I retreated. The familiarity in her approach was so tangible, and I was stupid for not trying harder to make this transition easier. It shouldn't be happening; it shouldn’t be possible. But in the end, that was the world we lived in. 

"Leah, I need you to stop!" I exclaimed, putting my arms up in a meek attempt to shield my face and hoping I was far enough. 

Her whole body flinched, stopping her. She stayed there, frozen for less than a second. The sound of breaking bones resonated around us, echoing between the pines as she phased. Her clothes shattered in the process, covering the moss ground like confetti.

When the snapping of the bones subsided, it was replaced by whining and shuffling of paws. I blinked to regain control over my body, the shock freezing me in place. "It's okay. Look at me, you're gonna be fine." I said softly, taking cautious steps toward her. Her frightened gaze snapped to me. "You're not alone in this. There are others, and they will help you. You can probably hear them, too." 

God, I hope they were patrolling like Sam said, because that would mean they were definitely on their way as we spoke. I didn't know how volatile freshly phased wolves were, so being near one without a backup was probably not the smartest idea. 

One I wouldn’t hear the end of.

She kept looking around, unease settling in her gaze. I extended my hand toward her, palm up in surrender. "I promise you're gonna be fine. It seems crazy, trust me, I know. But they will explain everything." I whispered calmly. 

She cocked her head. "I'm so sorry it happened to you, too." She whined, taking a step toward me. I was mere inches from lacing my fingers through her silver fur. She was quite stunning as a wolf, which reflected how beautiful but stern she was in her human form. 

Her ears flattened as she bared her teeth, making me flinch my hand away. A growl sounded behind me. Go figure, Paul would ruin my chances of calming her down. I narrowed my eyes at him, but his attention was on Leah, who was still baring her teeth, softly snarling.

Jared and Sam appeared on either side of her, no doubt explaining what had happened. Paul stepped closer, leaning down to nudge my side. "I'm fine, geez." I rolled my eyes. He huffed, nudging me again. 

"She wouldn't snarl if it weren't for you lot," I grumbled, but I was thankful they came to help her through it. I had no idea how confusing and painful it was to phase for the first time. 

My mind kept returning to the whole incident. Was it my fault? Was I the trigger for her shift? How was it even possible? Sam always insisted that the gene was strictly present in males throughout their history. 

Maybe I could have prevented it. But it raised a question of whether she would have wanted me to. The guys learned to live with it and saw a purpose in it, even if it still seemed like a curse some days. 

So many questions that no one could answer. At least not now.

Paul hadn't left my side when Sam and Jared took steps back. Leah looked at me, her head bowing slightly, her eyes mirroring a silent plea. "It would be useful to have access to your minds. I don't have that, however, I'm guessing clothes would come in handy once you shift back, huh?" I offered with a small smile. It was the least I could do. 

She huffed, her head cocking slightly. "On it." I turned to leave but stopped. "You'll be the best of them, I know it." I smiled when she barked back, agreeing with me.

The couch dipped and groaned underneath my weight as I plopped down with a heavy sigh. The day had been hectic and emotionally draining, and I wanted nothing more than to sleep it off.

Putting the pillow over my face, I screamed into it, emptying all the air in my lungs until it hurt. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I lifted it a few inches, taking a deep breath. “Assaulting a pillow?” 

I jumped at the intrusion, the pillow landing next to me on the floor with a quiet thud. I stood up so quickly that dizziness overtook my body, making me sway a little. “John.”

His narrowed eyes followed my every move, the smell of alcohol reaching me in seconds, making the meeting that much more uncomfortable. Paul’s father wasn’t inherently a bad man. Or a man someone would fear. That didn’t mean he was kind, especially when he was drunk. 

He was the type to promise one a white picket fence, band ring flowers on an ordinary day, with breakfast in bed. And maybe, he was like that for the time being.

Before he became a father.

Before he let alcohol destroy that persona.  

Paul didn’t like to talk about him, other than a few sarcastic remarks in a casual conversation as his form of coping. He didn’t remember a time when he had a loving father. And maybe that was part of the reason he enjoyed being in a pack. In a family he didn’t have before. 

Paul didn’t spend much time here, and neither did I. Charlie didn’t trust John to be around his daughter, especially since he was unpredictable with the alcohol. And as much as he didn’t particularly like Paul, he was always welcoming to him. Or he tried to be. 

Paul’s father glovered before me, his watchful gaze not leaving my form as though I would steal if he wasn’t looking. “You sound surprised. You do know this is my house, right?” 

Flustered, I inched to the door, not wanting to intrude. “Yea- I mean, yes, of course. Paul said-”

The man of the hour interrupted from behind me, clearly not enjoying the meet-up. “You weren’t supposed to be here.” He made his way to me, frowning, his palm resting reassuringly on the small of my back. 

“No need to be hostile, Paul, I was just asking a simple question.”

He narrowed his eyes at his father, grumbling, “You’re never just asking. Got laid off from work or what?”

“Paul-” I said, getting interrupted. “Listen, boy, just because you got all buff and have a tattoo doesn’t mean you get to disrespect me.” 

“Nothin’ to respect.” Paul bit back.

“You-”

“Okay, that’s enough. We’re leaving. Thank you for having us.” I put myself between them. Today was already stressful enough, there was no need for a fight that was preventable. It was my fault that I agreed to meet here instead of at the pack house or my home.  

He sneered in my direction. “Don’t speak when you’re not spoken to.” Which prompted an immediate reaction in the form of a growl from Paul.

“Why don’t you heed your own advice?” The sentence left my lips before I had a chance to stop it. Words so quiet yet resonating just loudly enough in the small space. My hand flew to my mouth just when Paul snorted.

The atmosphere shifted as though the sentence was a lightning that was about to be followed by thunder. Anger sparked in John’s already irritated gaze as red rushed to his cheeks and ears. 

I took a step back, getting stopped by Paul’s tense hand. “I- We really should be on our way.” 

John’s angry eyes followed my every move, his chest heaving with deep breaths. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard her,” Paul answered in my stead as he looked down on him, leaning forward, his nostrils flaring.

The tension seemed to rise further as the two entered a staring contest that neither one was prepared to lose. My fingers closed around Paul’s arm, squeezing it tightly to remind him of the danger he posed if he couldn’t get the emotions under control. 

He didn’t budge, but his form lost some of its tension as he took a deep breath, letting me know he was in control. But that control could be easily snapped like a rubber band.

And he probably knew it, too. 

“We’re leaving.” John’s eyes snapped to me instantly as he inched closer. My instinct fought with the pride burning deep within me. “Calmly. And you’ll let us, right?” I added, cocking my head, my eyes boring into his. My back straightened, not letting the fear-mongering strategy get to me. 

His face became unreadable within a second, a blank stare replacing the angry expression. His body went rigid, muscles under his shirt constricting as he took a step back.

It was disrespectful and Charlie probably wouldn’t be thrilled to hear about it. However, a man like John Lahote didn’t deserve respect even if he craved it. 

Before I could say anything else more incriminating, Paul’s fingers were already digging into my hand, closing around it to drag me out of the house. He almost buckled me into the passenger seat of my own car, frantic to get far away as quickly as possible. “Hey, hey, no. Paul- stop.” I put my palm over his struggling hand when the buckle wouldn’t budge.

“It’s okay, you’re fine. Let’s take a deep breath together.” He glanced up, meeting my eyes as he followed my direction. It took him a couple of tries before his erratic breathing calmed down. “It’s not your fault,” I whispered, squeezing his hand in mine.

“He was drunk. Again.” He rasped.

My lips formed a thin line. When his father didn’t drink, he was a shadow of the man he once used to be. Almost pleasant to be around, some might even say kind and we thought that since he stopped drinking, he would get his life together. But that was obviously not the case. “I know.” 

He shook his head, letting it hang low, as his jaw locked again. It was apparent how devastating it was to see the ongoing destruction of a man Paul once knew. “I shouldn’t have suggested my place.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” I said with a sympathetic smile. He didn’t answer, only returned the smile that didn’t reach his eyes. There was a beat of silence before he let go of my hand, slipping into the driver’s seat and hurriedly leaving the house behind us. 

The forest blurred around the car, the radio filling in the silence that stretched between us. Neither of us was sure how to break it or if we even should. When we finally made it to Emily’s, the pack house was lit inside, the silhouettes of moving residents letting us know how many of them were actually present.

It was I who decided to speak out first. “Well, today was shit.”

“Yea, no kidding.” He chuckled, leaning back in his seat. 

I glanced toward the house, counting only two people of which I knew none were the person I was looking for. “How’s Leah?”

He sighed, expecting the question eventually. He now had access to her thoughts but also knew my stance on breaching that sort of privacy. I didn’t need details, my only priority was to know if she was alright. “Could be better. She phased back, but she doesn’t want to see anyone. Especially Sam.”

“And me.”

His face scrunched, apology evident in his features and voice. “Yea, I’m sorry, beautiful.”

“No, I get it. I totally deserve it.” I sighed, throat tightening with tears. Not willing to cry, I blinked them away. “I just don’t know how to fix it.” 

taglist: @92-tillinfinity, @yiikkesss, @claudiamoscatoo

[drdemonprince]

Reading your experience in the introduction to Unlearning Shame made me feel so seen, and I think it helped me better understand what I've felt for so long. I went through a psychotic episode two years ago, and I deeply feel that shame played a huge part if not both directly and indirectly caused my psychosis. I was so overwhelmed with my workload while being ashamed because I had the privilege to study and live comfortably while so many are struggling. In my psychosis I essentially crafted an entire delusion that could absolve my guilt, that could explain everything about the world and give me a purpose to solve what was wrong. I was still deeply ashamed long after coming out of it, because now I was officially "crazy" and surely everyone could tell. But that breakdown led me to open up to people even though I was scared to make myself vulnerable. I started asking for help cleaning my place and doing the dishes instead of beating myself up for being a failed adult. The journey is still ongoing of course, but knowing the role that shame played in this experience that I hope never to have again is so valuable and I wanted to thank you for that.

Wow, thank you so much for this message. I'm so grateful to hear the opening of the book resonated with you. People really do not get told how much of psychosis, delusions, and other highly stigmatized mental health symptoms are contextual, both social and economic in how they manifest and why. It shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of -- your mind tried to communicate it was at its limit while also offering absolution to you. It is horrible you got pushed to the point it had to happen, but there is nothing wrong with you for the fact that it did. It happens to so many of us, and in our madness and unrulyness and divergence we kick at the bars that keep us from being free as best we can. I am glad that you have come through a really tough, impossible-feeling period with some vulnerability and understanding. Thanks for reading.

[joanofexys]

gimme the Jude lore

okay okay Jude Reyes lore incoming

little breakdown first:

26 years old

he/him, pansexual, cis

played for the Trojans for 5 years

graduated with a degree in sports journalism

has adhd and depression (in the rambling bit tw right now for mentions of self harm and suicidal thoughts tying into this)

only child and still upset about it

does the most out of all my ocs to work with college players, spends a lot of his free time flying out to different colleges to work with coaches and teams cause he likes and he enjoys it (gets a lot of teasing about becoming a coach in the future)

knows english and spanish

and oh yeah he's a dealer who will play as an extra backliner if needed

blonde, 6'3, big brown eyes

got his ears pierced cause Mara said he'd chicken out

So yeah Jude graduated from USC at the age of 23 and he was recruited for olympic court when he was 25. He considers the Trojan's his family and still keeps in touch with all the upper classmen who he used to play with. He's very much taken the Trojan attitude into his professional career. He's known as a team player on the court and also a huge activist off the court. He's now involved in presenting the Day Spirit Award every year and he's incredibly proud to have been apart of the team consistently winning it. While Ilya falls into the Just Some Guy category, Jude really takes it up like 10 levels into Golden Child territory. He's the favored one for press duty and is most involved with his teams social media. He's usually the one to sit down for the little games or the ask me anything's or the interviews everyone else deems pointless.

tw for self harm and suicide mentions, you can skip to the next bolded line if you need to

Jude was diagnosed with depression when he was 19 after he came to Rhemann confessing that he had been self harming for a few months after the workload with his class got more difficult for him to manage and he started thinking about committing suicide. He was diagnosed with adhd a few years later when he was 22 and now he now manages both with a mixture of therapy and medication. He's not perfect and obviously that didn't get rid of his depression but he has always had a safe space to talk about it and to get the help he needs. He advocates a lot for mental health in general but especially where athletes where it tends to get ignored with all the pressure put on them and he brings that into all of his relationships with his teammates trying to create a safe space for them. He is a huge factor in actually getting Em, Mara, and Florian to see therapists and he's who Florian calls after his 5th attempt and takes him to the hospital.

okay heavy bit over

I need y'all to know that Jude popped into my head literally today. He was named like 3 hours ago. So this is all just kind of developing as I yap about him. He's big on team inclusion. Doesn't want anyone to feel left out. At first Ilya really butted heads with Mara and Florian cause they were Raven's and Jude was basically the one to get sick of that and tell them they needed to shut the fuck up and put on their get along t-shirt

He's generally pretty outgoing and he loves a good party. And by party he means hosting his team and having some food and drinks and visiting with every one. Though he does go a little crazy after a win and he will probably not get home till like 6 in the morning and then will sleep for a full 24 hours

He comes off as very loud and flirtatious to most people, most people will think he is flirting even when he isn't and he has accidentally agreed to multiple dates before realizing they were dates and having to awkwardly let people down. He doesn't really date much, not seriously, largely because of how involved he is with the media portion of his job. If he does end up dating (and I don't have anyone set up for him yet) it'd most likely be another exy player who is also super involved with the media and interacting with the press

and yeah that's a little bit about Jude

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 21 relisten notes

happy end of hiatus! beware of tmagp 21 and light tma spoilers below the cut!!

scene:

this is a continuation of the night of episode 20! so all of the events occurring in this episode are happening directly after the events of episode 20 with very little skipping forward

celia:

- we open with her trying to cheer sam up after their intervention of sorts in ep 20. shes concerned that hes upset over her and alice not wanting to be involved with his investigations and reacting poorly to him bringing up quitting

- she suggests that sam can stay at the OIAR while trying to make change from the inside

- when sam asks her about whats been bothering her, she says she has a "complicated immigration status" and this would stop her from taking jack with her.

- ive taken it as canon that celia is from the tma universe, but this is another clue towards that conclusion. this also implies that shes discovered a way to take her back to her original dimension, or at least knows enough about that process to decide she cant take jack back with her. but staying with him (in this universe) means she has some complicated decisions to make (im assuming this is partially about her struggles with teleporting)

sam:

- hes worried that alice is right about the morality of them working for the OIAR -> he can accept that the organization is evil, but he cant let himself go on knowingly administering evil

- his main motivation to stay instead of seeking out a different (less prestigious) job is his desire to not disappoint his parents (i think a lot of sam's motivations will be centered around him meeting expectations, getting attention, and proving people wrong)

- he maintains that he will quit once/if he gets enough information to convince him to leave. this is a pretty interesting thing for him to say, considering hes only been drug deeper into the job the more info he gets.

- sam volunteers to help celia and jack with "anything" -> im willing to bet this will come back to bite him on the ass in the future, and i wonder what favor celia will be asking him to complete. i wonder if shes willing to take him up on the offer even if it puts him in danger

alice:

- though the incident is read from sam's desk, alice is the one who found it and started it up. im betting that she was poking around his cases to see if there were any corresponding to TMI or their conversations

- "You bastard. You wanted him to read this, didn’t you? Just slipped it into his caseload, all subtle like and waited for him to hear it. Well not this time [...] Colin was right about you. What do you want? Hmmm? Who’s in there?" this is a huge reveal in terms of what alice believes in. in ep 20, she shoots down sam and colin trying to explain that the computers are listening and communicating with them, but now it sounds like she fully believes in it after all

- i think that she either pretended to not believe in it to encourage sam and colin to drop it, or that she really did think they were crazy and took to investigating sam's workload to see if he was right. either way, she seems fully convinced now, and has gone so far as to attribute this behavior to fully sentient people, seeing as how she asked who was in there.

lena:

- she's suspicious of alice using sam's computer, and doesn't believe that theres been more technology issues. according to her, the system has worked better in colin's absence, so he was likely trying to sabotage jmj

- she's worried about gwen being late from her assignment, but pretends to not be concerned around alice

gwen:

- right as ink5oul traps her, she is compelled to begin a statement (which sounds to be corruption-aligned). she was claimed by error and ink5oul allowed her to run away. we can assume gwen was able to escape them both, but i wonder if her attachment to error will cause problems with future externals (will it stop her from interacting with them or will this provide her with the protection shes been wanting?)

ink5oul:

- not only can they tattoo people with ink created by their own skin/blood, they can also manipulate the tattoos of others! very cool character/monster design

- once interrupted by error, they originally try to fight over who is 'claiming' gwen, but they back off and let error take her. the way they interact with error implies that theyve seen other avatars before

error:

- the tape recorder click seems to be an indication of them entering the scene, and of things shifting to follow tma world building conventions

- they compel gwen to begin a statement, and warn ink5oul from touching her, claiming her as theirs

- "they are all mine", i think this is referring to the OIAR as a whole, especially considering alice has already had an encounter with one of error's potential victims

incident:

narrated by chester at sam's terminal, about the magnus institute (TMI)

- the incident is in the form of a letter/email sent from the co-treasurer of TMI to other members of the institute.

- TMI was planning on having an exhibit at a dome built to instigate a grand ritual in the year 2000. this ritual was based in the hopes of using the transmutative powers of the dome to harness the power of the turn of the millennium.

- mr. leonardo argues that the date (2000) and location of the dome and ritual are ineffective. he believes that the date shouldn't be decided based on cultural significance, it needs to be decided based on astrological significance. since the concept of the new year and turning of the millennium depends on the calendar used, its subjective and less stable than using a date determined by the movement of the stars, which every culture holds as a constant.

- he also believes that the dome will not be a secure location to bring about this ritual for universal transmutation because it will not have a balance between optimism and fear. he thinks that the dome would sponsor more energy for fear than optimism, due to socio-political changes and public interpretation of the dome.

- on top of the dome not supporting balance, mr. leonardo also proposes that the ground its built on is impure. he found the site to have a horrible smell and the workers to be uninterested, dirty, and ill (much of this part of the incident lends itself to the corruption)

- the foreman of the site said he wasnt sure how long the structure was expected to stay up, that it could stand the test of time or fall apart within a year.

- during his investigation of the site, mr. leonardo also witnessed a man's doppelgänger be pushed from the earth of the construction site. the new man was older (symbolizing the future), and looked sickly. the younger man tried to scream, but was taken into the earth by his copy.

- this case as a whole is interesting because mr. leonardo is not supporting the dome for its power leaning toward fear over optimism. he seems to genuinely want balance between these powers, so the purpose of the TMI ritual was not to pull through one power. the focus is on successfully attainting a universal transmutation

glitches/lies:

- "yeah/yes" alice, lying about sam consenting to her using his computer

- "ill let him know when he gets back" alice

- "only about your caseload" lena, lying about not being worried about gwen

extra comments:

- im unsure if this is just a personal interpretation or maybe unintentional from the sound editors, but it really did sound like chester was significantly less robotic in tone as that incident ended

- the water sound effects as gwen was chased by ink5oul were really well done, all of the sound design done this episode was just so incredible!! the chase scene was so clear and i loved the added background music/instrumentals

- once gwen drops her phone into the water, our next audio-on is the tape recorder click!

- the tape recorder physically biting ink5oul was very funny, i think its fun to introduce them as kinda sentient/physical beings, but it also rides the line to comedy a bit too much to be scary here

- im unsure of when the police report from episode 18 took place, and that will be a major decider in this theory being relevant, but i think error is the entity that has been influencing corpses to talk. it's victims are compelled to share stories in tma's statement format, and the elements of their stories are pretty aligned with the tma fears as well. it seems to be targeting the OIAR staff, since one of its statements has been in their caseloads, alice met one of the victims, and now its stopped gwen from getting ink5ouled. Im unsure why or how it knows the OIAR is important if its from the tma universe. it could be sensing celia, whos also from its dimension, or maybe it still holds a connection to jmj (who are definitely sentient)

- this incident also explains why the protocol was used against TMI! the fire that destroyed the institute happened right before they would have been able to execute the ritual for transmutation

[poppitron360]

Okay so @green-tea217 requested that I share this fanfic based on this post that I made.

I never usually post my fanfics, but I’m feeling brave. This one isn’t finished, but I’ll post the first chapter ‘cause I’m really proud of it. I’m working on the other fanfics that were requested, but I’m posting this one first because I’ve worked rlly had on it.

Summary: Kind of an OC/FanChild fic about my hcs for Percabeth’s kids. VERY Leo/Nico heavy bc they’re my two favourite characters, particularly Leo.

TWs: Swearing, lack of smut (she is a teenager)

Disclaimers: I was still reading SoN when I wrote this chapter, and I am currently on HoH, so if I’ve missed anything that gets revealed later, that’s why. Also I listened to the audiobooks, so if I spell a name wrong, that’s also why, either that or I’ve spelt something the British way.

Chapter 1:

Olympia hated stories.

She hated telling them. She hated hearing them. She hated the way they were often twisted and bent to contain some kind of message. She hated the theatrics of sharing them around the fire, the hushed voices and dramatic tone. And she hated how every story she heard was almost always about her dad.

Olympia Grace Jackson-Chase.

Of course.

For as long as she can remember, people had told her stories about her parents. About her and her birth. How she had been born on Olympus. How Apollo himself had delivered her, and named her “Olympia Grace” so that it would rhyme with her last name. That wasn’t entirely true. “Grace” was the last name of her Auntie Thalia and Uncle Jason. She hated the stories about them too- about all her parents’ friends. They were myths and legends in the eyes of the other campers, to her they were just people who babysat her sometimes. The Cabin 9’ers had been shocked when she’d told them that the heroic son of Hephaestus who had saved the world from Gaea and her evil forces was actually just Little Uncle Leo, and the first Fire User in three and a half centuries isn’t very mythical and legendary when he’s running in from the kitchen, waving a tea-towel at the fire alarm and yelling “Oh shit, the guacamole’s on fire. I set the guacamole on fire. Don’t tell your mom.”

People never wanted to hear those stories. Only the exiting and dangerous ones.

“Percy Jackson fought the Minotaur when he was only ten years old!!!”

“Percy Jackson keeps insisting I tidy my room.”

Suffice it to say, she was sick of it.

“Dad,” she asked, approaching the kitchen table.

Perseus Jackson, the man, the myth, the legend himself, looked up from his comic book and ginned at her.

“What is it, dolphin?”

“Can you… like… not send me to camp this year?”

Her dad frowned, put The Amazing Spider-Man down on the table and leaned back in his chair.

“Why? What’s up? Are the other campers not nice to you there?”

“It’s not that… in fact, it’s the opposite. The attention is getting too much. I wanna learn to fight, but… I’d rather you just teach me yourself. You can show me how to use my water powers.”

“Oly, I know it’s hard, especially as you’re one of the first Legacies at Camp Half-Blood. I can absolutely arrange for you to not go anymore if you don’t want to… but there’s only so much I can teach you on my own, particularly with your mother’s workload. I want to make sure you’d be protected. Could you maybe give it a try, please?”

Olympia was pretty sure she’d been “giving it a try” for the last 14 summers, but she didn’t want to argue with her dad.

“Fine,” she said.

“That’s my girl,” he beamed, “Now, remember to pack your armour for Capture the Flag, I don’t want to have to drive out there and back just ‘cause you forgot it again.”

She sighed and left the room.

She just wished that he had stayed in the car when he’d dropped her off, but no. He insisted on walking with her to the Big House, saying hello to Chiron and generally being a huge embarrassment. It didn’t take long for the crowds of campers to form around them, whispering behind their hands. She hugged her dad, and said goodbye to him as quickly as she could.

She dumped her things in the Poseidon Cabin. She was allowed in both her mom and her dad’s old cabins, but she preferred to be alone to sleep. She did her activities with the Athena kids though, she didn’t want to stand out any more than she already did.

Olympia sat alone, perched on the edge of the Athena table, when suddenly a kid shuffled up next to her. She looked about twelve, with the same grey eyes of her mother.

“What’s your name?” The girl asked.

“Olympia Jackson-Chase,” Olympia sighed.

“I’ve noticed you doing cabin activities with us, but you don’t sleep with the other Athenians? What’s up with that?”

Olympia took a deep breath, and began to explain, “I’m a-“

“Wait. Jackson-Chase?” The kid gasped.

Oh, here we go, Olympia thought, preparing for the usual swooning and/or geeking out.

“Your mother was Annabeth Chase?”

Olympia was slightly taken aback, “Usually, people talk mostly about my father. I’m always “The daughter of Percy Jackson,” never “the daughter of Annabeth Chase.””

“Oh but she’s a legend! She re-designed Olympus! She led our cabin in battle against the Titans! She even held up the sky! I mean, I know your dad did that too, but-“

“She did it for longer. She was under that thing for over a day, he only held it for at most 20 minutes.”

The girl laughed.

“And, if you ask me, she was the one who did all the work when it came to defeating Kronos. Dad did jack shit, just handed a knife to a guy.”

“Exactly! Just because he was in the Prophecy-“

“Nah, it’s a lot simpler than that,” Olympia said, “It’s because he’s a man.”

They sat in silence for a bit.

She never blamed her dad for overshadowing her mom. He didn’t mean to. In fact, he openly hated the stories that didn’t recognise her for all she did. They were so in love, it was sickening.

“I can’t believe she’s, like, my sister.”

The girl gasped, and grabbed Olympia’s arm, “Wait, does that make me your aunt?”

Olympia shook her head, “Don’t bother with family trees, man, otherwise you get into the whole “my dad’s dad is my mom’s mom’s uncle, which makes me kinda my mom’s second cousin, and my dad her cousin-once-removed”- it’s just too much to get your head around.”

She looked directly into the girl’s grey eyes, “My advice, kid, believe whatever bullshit they tell you about the Gods not having DNA, and just try not to think about it.”

The girl’s face fell. “Oh.”

Then she looked exited again, “Did you come out of her tummy or her head like I did with my mom?”

And there we go, Olympia thought. Geez, they didn’t hesitate to ask the really invasive questions, did they?

She took her three-pronged fork out of her pocket, and fidgeted with it, twirling it in her fingers. Instantly, she realised her mistake.

“Why do you carry a fork around and never eat with it?” The girl asked. More questions.

Might at well get it over with, she thought.

“Gift from Grandpa,” she replied.

“A gift from Poseidon? What does it do?”

She sighed again, and dangled the fork over the girl’s glass of orange juice, and let go. It dropped into the glass with a satisfying plop, and then rose to the surface. No, it wasn’t rising. It was growing. It’s shaft elongated, and the prongs stretched to become longer and way more deadly. Intricate designs started carving itself into the metal. Olympia stood up, and grabbed the shaft of the fork just as it finished growing. A three-pronged death skewer of pure celestial bronze. A Trident.

The surrounding campers gaped at her, open-mouthed.

“Woah,” said one of the Hephaestus campers, clearly someone who hadn’t seen the spectacle before.

“OLYMPIA JACKSON-CHASE! NO WEAPONS AT THE DINNER TABLE! CAMP RULES! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT!!”

“Sorry Chiron,” Olympia called. She twisted a little ring of metal around the shaft of the trident, and it shrank back into a fork. She sat back down.

“It responds to water,” she explained, “get it wet, and boom, Trident.”

She had named it Blue. It was her first word, after all. Or at least, that was the story. Poseidon had given it to her on her second birthday, and she had just looked at it, holding it in her tiny fist, and cried “bloooo!” It was probably just baby babbling, but Dad said it counted.

“So what’s Poseidon like? Do you have water powers too? Can you get me your mom’s autograph? Is your dad really 7ft tall?”

She ate the rest of her lunch in silence, only answering the onslaught of questions from the young camper when she had to.

Cabin 3 offered a pleasant respite from the crowds and the people. She dropped her armour and weapons from the day’s activites by the door and kicked off her shoes.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

(Drawing of Olympia: Art by me)

Her curly black hair, which she’d dyed the tips of blonde, was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Around her neck hung a necklace of leather chord, fourteen different coloured beads threaded onto them, each painted with a different design. Her broad shoulders and thick muscles bulged through her plain navy-blue tank top. Her skin was tanned from spending long hours training in the sun. She had a battle-hardened look to her that meant people often mistook her for a daughter of Ares. But her eyes was what made her stand out most- one grey, like her mother, one green, like her father. Her parents had told her how her birth had ended the centuries-long feud between Poseidon and Athena for good, and she had been given those eyes as a way of symbolising that. Another story. It felt like every part of her body had been attached to a story about something her parents had done. Why couldn’t she just be herself? She had spent 16 years living under the shadow of her parents, she was homeschooled from an early age, and had been going to camp since before she could even hold a sword- the demigod life was all she’d ever known. Someday, she’d get away from it all. She’d sink to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and just study the fish, and she wouldn’t have to worry about people or monsters

Suddenly, she felt something tap her on her shoulder. Quick as lightning, she grabbed Blue and spun around. Blue, still in fork form, was about a centimetre away from the neck of her intruder, who held up his hands in surrender.

“Whoah there!” He said.

When she saw who it was, she lowered the weapon and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Leo!” She cried.

“Hey, how’s my favourite cousin? Or… whatever.”

She looked at him and smiled. Despite him being old enough to be her dad, he was about half her size. With a thin, wiry frame and very little meat on his bones. His wild, curly brown hair framed his pointed face and elfish features. His dark skin was covered in a thin layer of motor oil and grime of unknown origin. He tapped her cheek affectionately, leaving a grubby handprint on her face. He walked over to her bed and leaped onto the top bunk, his legs dangling off the ladder.

“You need to stop growing,” he instructed, “You are getting too big, it’s not fair.”

“You need to stop being so short,” Olympia retorted, then her face broke into a huge smile, “I feel like I never see you anymore!”

“I know, you’re too old for me to babysit now, kiddo,” He complained.

“Well that always ended in disaster anyway. There’s still burn marks on that wall.”

“Did your mom find out?” He asked.

“Nope. Dad told her he just wanted to hang more pictures up. And then he went on a long speech about how nice she looked in that wedding photo, and then took her out for ice cream. I think she bought it.”

“Good.”

They stayed in comfortable silence for a few seconds, and then she asked, “So… it’s great that you’re here and all, but… why are you here?”

“What, I can’t come and visit my favourite partner in crime every now and then?”

“Leo…” Her tone was firm.

Leo’s face was suddenly dark and serious, he paused before speaking, but said, “I think I have news about your brother.”

That was Chapter 1- if this post gets… let’s say… 30 notes, I’ll post Chapter 2.

[kazumist]

hello!

it's been a while :) i know i only drop by here to answer asks (if ever i get any in the first place) but i still think i owe everyone a proper explanation—especially when i've been making promises to myself when it comes to returning.

(more utc, just didnt wanna clog the dash LOL. it's not that long i swear)

don't worry, i won't leave! and as you all may know, i'm usually semi-inactive in the first place because of my forever hectic personal life. even when i'm not that so busy with academics, my days are still filled with agendas due to extra curriculars, events, gatherings, etc. and it honestly has played a huge role as to why i haven't been able to focus on writing in the first place. i'm not really a person who stays at home most of the time whenever i'm in such a busy mood.

but surprise, surprise! life has its own way to make the tables turn for me. not only did my workload finally decrease, my... lovelife has flourished as well :) <3 maybe that's also another reason why i don't feel like writing that much anymore—it's because i finally found someone to fill up my heart even more. (i know love exists because i am full of it—we all deserve it.)

i won't really go into that much detail about how or when since i want to keep things private LMAO. but rest assured he makes me happier than ever. :') and i don't really want for it to seem that our relationship is what caused me to lose motivation in writing (though i have to admit, it has probably played a part i guess). it's really because of me not finding the proper time to sit down and actually focus on it in one sitting. 🥲

rest assured that i will still continue my smaus. i'm still going to finish the shs universe and the other smaus that i plan on making. you could consider this as me taking a proper break and properly addressing it. i have no idea when i'll actually be back but you'll probably just see me post a new episode of love maybe on a random thursday or something HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

however, still feel free to talk to me via inbox! i will still drop by to check my notifs from time to time.

that's all! if you reached this part, congratulations. always remember that love is just around the corner. <3

[boogernotbogger]

Strawberry ice cream

Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

Rating: teens and above

Summary: Sakusa Kiyoomi and y/n meet at calculus class in college and become friends. However, y/n slowly develops feelings for Sakusa.

Word count: 6282

A/N: Please support my works on AO3 here

Weird.

It’s the first thought you have when you see the curly-haired boy poke his head into your classroom. Half his face is obscured by a mask, and you can see two tiny moles peeking out from under his hair.

It’s your second day of college, and first lecture of calculus. People are starting to trickle in, as you’re here early. And yet, the boy looks anxious. He walks in gingerly, and thoroughly sanitises the desk and chair before he sits in front of you, at the window seat. The morning sunlight streams in, and bounces through his curls, making him look like some baroque-style painting. You look out of the window and smile. This is going to be an interesting semester.

~~~

Two weeks later, it is most certainly turning out to be a not fun semester. The workload is already huge, making friends is difficult when your schedule is occupied with purely lectures and sleep, and homesickness, it turns out, is a real thing that you aren’t invulnerable to. 

The masked weirdo in your calculus class seems allergic to people, and for some reason, it is really not easy to pay attention to sequences and continuity and what not, when the only thing your eyes latch onto is a halo of perfectly formed ringlets, interwoven with magical drops of sunlight.

You learn that his name is Sakusa Kiyoomi, he is a volleyball player, and a misanthrope through and through.

~~~

It takes time, but you two start to talk.

It is your third week of college, you just spoke to a blond boy more introverted than you, and you finally got your sleep schedule down. You walk into class in high spirits emboldened by your successes, plop your bag down into your seat, and go stand in front of Sakusa. He flinches, but relaxes by a smidge when he sees you not coming any closer.

“Good morning Sakusa-kun, I’m l/n y/n. we’ve never spoken before and that is kind of weird since we sit close to each other. I’m a first-year statistics student. You?”

“Sakusa Kiyoomi, first year economics. Nice to meet you.”

And thus, started your friendship.

~~~

Two months into your college life, you are fast friends with the blond, Kozume Kenma. He introduces you to Akaashi Keiji, and their respective roommates, two incredibly loud and embarrassing second years, with ridiculous hairstyles. Apparently, the four of them had been friends since their school days and played volleyball together, though the seniors seldom hung out with you as they were always busy.

By now you have also had enough time to get to know your own roommates, to watch sappy romance movies with them, and pledge lifelong friendship to them. Your social life has never been better.

And of course, come calculus class, you meet Sakusa, chat with him about whatever novel you last read, and listen to him describe the intricacies of volleyball. You find yourself thinking that you have never met anyone as passionate about anything as Sakusa is about volleyball.

His dark eyes get a glint to them, and though he refuses to take off his mask, his voice comes out clearer than anytime else. He gestures wildly with his hands, and his hair keeps flopping onto his forehead. He pushes it back impatiently each time, but continues to nod his head off each time you understand a concept clearly.

He kind of looks like one of those little dolls with springs on the bottom, that you stick on your car dashboard for amusement, with the way he bounces on his spot with enthusiasm.

It’s cute.

And you notice he has pretty hands. Like, really pretty hands.

You notice the way his eyebrows quirk in amusement when you talk about the second-hand embarrassment you endure, caused by the heroine of whichever book is your newest obsession. It makes you want to see his full smile, maybe elicit a laugh. You notice the way he raises his right eyebrow until his moles disappear under his hair, when you squeal about something especially hot in the story.

You notice that you seem to be noticing a lot about Sakusa.

~~~

One month later and you find yourself hanging out with the oddest group of friends you have ever had. You have your two roommates, one loud and social, the other adventurous and kind. Then there’s Kenma, who’s always got his nose in a game, and his ears peeled for any gossip he may inadvertently come across. There’s Keiji-kun, and he’s your favourite. He loves his studies, and he’s quiet, but he loves reading and oh boy does he have a talent for overthinking. He’s the most relatable person you have come across in college.

And of course, there is Sakusa. He is reclusive, but by now you know that it is only because he cares more about the germs on people than the people themselves. He tends to hang out more with you or with just the other two boys, than with the whole group. You are yet to figure out whether that is because he deems the other two too germy for him, or because he only likes people who like volleyball.

It had been a surprise to you when you’d introduced him to your group, only for the other two boys to just nod as if they knew him already. And then they’d told you about their volleyball history, and how his school always beat theirs.

“Oh yes y/n, didn’t I tell you Bokuto-san considered him his rival, because Sakusa-san was the nation’s top spiker, and Bokuto-san narrowly missed being in the top 3?” was Keiji’s very succinct explanation of the whole situation.

And that’s how you had found out that not only was Sakusa a volleyball-freak, he was the nation’s top volleyball-freak, and had represented the country several times in the under-19 category. 

(So had Bokuto-san, the owl-like senior who was Keiji’s best friend and captain, but you found that out only when you went to sit in on your college team’s practice sessions.)

(It had bugged you that Sakusa had never told you this before, but you let it go. Sakusa was a very private person, and the only times he spoke voluntarily were when he talked about volleyball. He had no ill intentions.)

~~~

Your first semester ends, and you celebrate with your group by playing games in Kenma’s apartment. It feels nice, talking and laughing with everyone, but after a point, your social battery dips and you find yourself zoning out from whatever banter was currently happening. Something about whether Kenma’s best friend and roommate Kuroo Tetsuro had a better hairstyle than Keiji’s best friend and roommate Bokuto Kotaro.

Honestly though, that wasn’t even a conversation worth having. They both looked stupid. One looked like a rooster shat on his head, the other looked like an owl sponsored his hair gel supplies.

Kenma had dug out an old Monopoly board from somewhere and that was the game currently happening, with you and Sakusa acting as joint bankers. You had both learnt long ago that it is more fun to incite the players against each other than to be one of them. And this was a modified version of Monopoly that you lot had come up with, having a lot of extra and needlessly complicated rules, so it was definitely more fun to just watch.

Sakusa was strangely quiet too. He generally tended to be quiet, but just a couple of hours ago he had gone into a very passionate speech over how strawberry ice cream is the best ice cream to ever exist. He’d accepted no arguments to the contrary.

“It may be pink and look like something Barbie puked, but it tastes exactly like Barbie’s dreams. Strawberry ice cream tastes like freedom and empowerment: I can be anything! It is sweeter than vanilla, not that vanilla is less good, no, vanilla is also a great flavour; it is just that strawberry is superior. Strawberry ice cream is sweet like syrup, like the drinks your grandmother made for you in your childhood when you came home after rolling in mud the whole day. If ‘happy memories’ had a flavour, it would be strawberry. Yes, my argument is based on nostalgia, and you can laugh all you want, but you have to admit that if you had a happy childhood, it was pink. If you didn’t have a happy childhood, well you certainly wish you did. You wish for happy memories and a future you can look out on with hope and love. La vie en rose, I say! Life in pink! That is the wonder of strawberry ice cream! And not to mention, all your childhood drawings of ice cream had a pink scoop dripping off the cone. Whether you want to or not, subconsciously you have all accepted that strawberry is the default, and hence, the best ice cream flavour. Thus, I rest my case.” 

With that, he’d sat back down, and licked off the final drops of his chocolate ice cream, and grabbed the controller for the next round of Mario Kart. You’d clapped, because come on, an impassioned speech like that deserves applause. One single corner of his mouth lifted, and he turned to you to flash you a dimple before his eyes fixed back on the screen. The gesture did not make you imagine what it would be like to poke your tongue in his dimple.

But after that incident, he was mostly silent, the speech probably draining him of whatever social battery he did have. He sat next to you now, calculating the amount each person owed the bank, and adding the penalties Keiji had accumulated from making fun of the strawberry-speech.

Yes, the penalties were for incidents that happened before the game started. You can’t argue with the banker for the banker is God.

You mostly left the banker-ing to Sakusa, while you got lost in your daydreams. Kenma was now in jail because he said that his school’s libero was better than Sakusa’s.

Which reminded you of the last book you’d read. It had had a character who was in jail for most of the story. He’d coordinated his attack plans from there. When the villain came to taunt him, he’d very suavely escaped and kabedonned her. But just when he expected her to swoon from his good looks and his proximity, she’d pulled out a dagger from under her skirt and stabbed him.

You’ve always wanted a dagger to hide under your clothes. Actually, you wouldn’t mind being kabedonned either, but Sakusa had very firmly declared the gesture ‘lame’ when you’d told him about it, and now you remembered that you were supposed to be annoyed at him for it. Because seriously, the audacity!

DHONN!

You jerk upwards to see the group laughing at you. Sakusa had apparently just banged a juice can on the table next to your face to get your attention.

“Huh?”

“You’d zoned out for longer than usual y/n. and you looked pissed. All ok?” Sakusa asks, but he is clearly amused.

“Kabedons are cool,” you declare, and get up to fetch yourself another slice of pizza.

He just snorts.

For some reason, it sounds cute. And now your brain is filled with images of a cute pink piggy with an incredibly curly tail. Like an oinky Kiyoomi. Kiyooink.

You laugh. You are definitely going to tell him this later.

~~~

The next semester starts, and you and Sakusa don’t have classes in common anymore. You see him around campus less, and spend less time together. Now that he has also adjusted to college life, he is paying more attention to volleyball. The end of the previous semester was filled with matches, but this semester he spends less time with the college team, and more time with the national under-19 team. You attend some practices when you can, sometimes with friends. Keiji-kun and Kenma explain various moves to you, and introduce you to other players they know. It is a fun experience. All the boys are like Sakusa, incredibly passionate about the sport, incredibly talented, and at least a foot taller than you. They towered over you when you first went to talk to them, but you soon learn that they are all sweet goofy kids with only volleyballs for brains.

You notice that they maintain a physical distance from Sakusa, only getting closer to him when necessary. But even so, he seems more at-home with his team than in your motley group of friends. It makes your heart ache sometimes, that there is someone right in front of you, whom you want to be closer to, but there is a seemingly uncrossable chasm between you. And yet he would turn towards you and flash a dimple, and you would berate yourself for not being grateful for the attention he already gives you.

~~~

First year ends, and you all go home for the holidays. You make no plans to meet each other, since you will inevitably meet once the new semester starts. You spend your two-month break laying about in bed, watching anime, and reading books.

You also make sure to call and text your friends regularly. Keiji-kun sends you memes, Kenma texts you about whatever anime character you get obsessed with. Your roommate-groupchat is filled with vacation photos of you 3. Life is good.

You notice that Sakusa never texts. Sakusa never calls. Sakusa never reaches out to you. But when you do call him, you both talk for hours, and time passes by in the blink of an eye.

With every phone call, every text, and every laugh you share, you wish and wish he had started it. You wish he had been the first to reach out to you. You wish, for once, he would call you. You wish, for once, he would share something about himself with you that was only for you to know.

You wish, and you wish, and you wish.

~~~

Second year starts, and all your friendships pick up right where they left off. Except that Sakusa is hardly ever around anymore.

When you asked about his absence, he simply said, “I studied hard and played hard during the holidays. Now I do not have to put in as much effort into classes, because most of the hard work is already done. I can focus on volleyball to my heart’s content.”

And that is what he does. You have no idea whether or not he attends his classes, but whenever he has free time, either he is studying by himself, or he is off doing drills by himself. It has been a full year since you became friends with him, and yet, he seems as distant today as he was on the first day.

It hurts. You miss having more free time to spend with him. And yet, you have no right to complain. His first love is volleyball, and he has made it clear to you that his priorities will never change.

It hurts, but you push it aside. You have other friends to spend your time with. On days when all six of you unexpectedly have free time, or on less academically challenging days, your group, including Sakusa, hangs out together. You generally go to the local fast-food joint, he would sanitise the table, and never take off his mask. But he would be there. He would be there for these small moments, and you cherish every mask-covered smile he gives, every sarcastic comment he makes.

You miss your friend, but for now, this is enough for you.

~~~

Second year passes thus: you are swamped with coursework, you hang out with your group whenever possible, you go out exploring the city with your roommates, and you get fleeting moments with Sakusa.

You’re almost happy with the set-up, but each time you talk to Sakusa, you want more. You want to talk to him more. You want him to talk to you more. You want to listen to his excited volleyball rants.

You want the days when your biggest problem was your inability to focus on differentiation because of a head of gold-infused raven curls. You want your friend.

So you call. You roughly know what his schedule is. Sometimes you go meet him when practice gets over, sometimes you call. He is tired, irritable, and excited all at once, but he seems to love gushing over whatever play he tried that day, and you enjoy the moments you spend with him.

He never calls though. He tells you that he appreciates you calling him, because your company is always welcome, yet, he never calls. You know that that in no way implies that he doesn’t like you, and yet, it hurts.

You tell yourself it hurts because he is your friend, and he has a scarcity value attached to him.

~~~

The only difference between second year and third year is that, Sakusa now has an undercut.

The semester starts with your group meeting up to celebrate Japan’s performance in the recent 2016 Rio Olympics. Sakusa and Bokuto had been second-string spikers on the team, and Sakusa had been called on-court multiple times as pinch server. His nasty wrists made it damn near impossible to dig out the ball, even on the international level – the world stage. You were so, so proud of your friend, and your celebrations continued well beyond midnight.

When the party finally ends, it is with Keiji dragging off a mildly-drunk but sleepy Bokuto, back to their apartment, Kenma asleep on the couch, and Sakusa offering to walk you back to your apartment. The other two girls had left already, since they have classes early in the morning and you don’t.

You walk back in silence, and for the first time, it is suffocating. You look up at him, wanting to gauge his mood after such a raucous celebration, and notice that he hasn’t put his mask back on yet. You figured out pretty early on in your friendship that that is a sign that he trusts you aren’t disgusting enough to warrant wearing a mask around. It’s quite flattering really.

“The weather is nice, isn’t it?” he starts, and stops immediately when you snort at the lame conversation starter.

“Well, you aren’t talking, so I thought I could try,” he shrugs, and you smile.

“Not a bad effort,” you answer. “Well, Sakusa-kun, we are being blessed with sunshine these days, and it’s very nice and warm at all times. Although, one could argue that the warmth right now is due to your inherent hotness.”

You look up at him, anticipating his reaction, and he doesn’t disappoint. He throws his head back and laughs, a quiet, precious thing, and you bottle up this moment to keep with you for the next time you miss him.

“I missed this. Training was gruelling, and the matches were exhilarating. I was always so high on emotions that by the time the Games were over, I was just done. Exhausted. Came home and just slept for the next week. I didn’t realise how much I missed your nonsense until just now, when I have to deal with your nonsense.” His eyes are soft, but all you can focus on is-

“Nonsense?! Sakusa Kiyoomi, I will have you know that the only nonsense here is you...”

He laughs again, and you trail off. You’ve never noticed before, but he’s grown. He was always tall and well-built, but there is a softness in the way he speaks now, that wasn’t there when you first met him. The way he carries himself has changed too, shoulders held back and proud. He is still the wary boy you had befriended two years ago, but there is a manly charm that wasn’t there before. And suddenly you want to continue talking. Comforting as it is now, you don’t want the conversation to trail off into the sweet silence it is heading towards. You feel the sudden urge to know him, stronger than you ever have before, and before you can help it, you blurt out, “You could have called me, you know. Or texted. I missed you as well, but I didn’t want to disturb you during the freaking Olympics! But even otherwise, you do know that I would like it if you reached out to me, right? Like on normal, non-Olympic days, you could text just because you feel like it.”

He frowns, and says, “I probably should. Honestly, it’s not like I don’t text you on purpose, I just kind of… forget. I don’t forget you, I just get caught up in stuff, or my brain is filled with TV static, and I don’t reach out to anybody at all. But I’ll try, okay? Yeah, you would probably ditch me if you are the only one forced to keep this relationship going, and that would be a pity.”

He reaches up to ruffle his hair, a rare occurrence because hair is filled with germs, and that’s when you notice it. The back of his head is buzzed close to his scalp, but hidden by the longer curls above. “You got an undercut?”

He frowns at the sudden change in topic, but nods, “Yeah, my nape kept getting sweaty, and other guys in the national team had undercuts and they found it functional, so I thought I’d try it. It does feel very nice actually. I still have my curls, but I don’t have to deal with too much sweat. Why?”

“I noticed it just now. It looks good. Really brings out your jaw. Probably explains why your jaw looks more prominent now. Good going.” You give him a thumbs up as a reassurance that it does look good, and turn around to enter your building. “Thanks for dropping me off, get home safe, okay?”

He waves, and disappears into the night, his own apartment a short walk from yours. You sigh as you climb the stairs.

Good was an understatement. Hot was better. Sexy was probably apt. You wonder if he will let you run your fingers through his shorn locks, and sigh again.

You are a reader. Perhaps all you can do is dream.

~~~

After the party at Kenma’s, college life went back to normal. Sakusa seldom hung out with the group, choosing instead to spend his time on volleyball. But after your conversation, he made it a point to text you every once in a while. True, they were just forwarded ‘good morning’ messages, sometimes memes about clichéd romance tropes, but it was better than nothing. Each text from him made your heart beat just a little faster.

~~~

It does not come as a surprise to you when you realise you have a crush on your friend. On your friend whose heart belongs to volleyball. On your friend who never opens up to you, and who is happy talking to you once every couple of weeks.

You embrace the feeling, and the sadness it brings with it. What else can you do? He’s one of your dearest friends, and he does deserve to know how you feel about him.

But again, you have a crush on someone you already love dearly. Can it even be considered a crush? You’ve had crushes before, and those feelings were always made of just a combination of wild giggling and nervous excitement. This however, this is a warmth in your chest and a smile on your face. This feeling, is a quiet little laugh, dispersing in the night like dandelions in the wind. This feeling is the excited glint in dark eyes when passions are aroused. This feeling is a cute head bobbing along to your words. This feeling is two moles on a forehead, curly hair over a shorn nape, pretty fingers gesturing wildly.

This feeling, it feels like strawberry ice cream on a warm summer day, when you’ve just returned home.

~~~

Obviously, you tell the rest of your friends. You do need people you can fangirl to about him. They’re quite supportive really, given the circumstances. They encourage you to tell him how you feel, but Kenma adds, “You need to remember that he may not reciprocate, y/n. In fact, there is a greater chance he won’t reciprocate. I don’t want you to get hurt or lose your friend, but I do think you would feel better if you tell your friend that you’ve got a crush.”

And that is the problem, isn’t it? You want to tell your friend that you have a crush on somebody. It kills you that if you tell him whom you’ve got a crush on, he’ll probably avoid you. But if you don’t tell him, you’ll suffer in silence, wondering about all the ‘what if’s’.

For now, you bury the matter. You want to enjoy this, this feeling, just a little longer.

And so you simp. You squeal over his voice and his muscles with your roommates, you swoon over every sweet gesture he does, and you endlessly simp over his pretty, pretty hands to Keiji-kun. He’s probably grown sick of you by now, but it is funny to see him annoyed.

~~~

Third year ends with Bokuto signing on to Division-1 team MSBY Black Jackals. 

Your last year of college begins with heavy research for your final-year project. On top of that, you now have to study for entrance exams, and college exams, and explore colleges for further studies. You know that you want to go into finance, and for that you now have to deal with an internship on top of everything else.

All of a sudden, you are under more stress than you have ever been in.

And then in the middle of the seventh semester, Sakusa drops a bombshell, “I think I will move to Higashiosaka after my graduation. I want to try out for the Black Jackals. They have Miya Atsumu and Bokuto-san, and I will be lucky to continue working together with those two monsters.”

Your heart stops. You need to tell him. He deserves to know. You had put off your feelings as a problem for the future, but the future is now.

~~~

Barely a week has passed after this conversation, and you call Sakusa crying, “Kiyoomi-kun, please can we meet? My project is going nowhere, and I think I have way too much on my plate right now, and I feel so selfish saying that to a person loaded with the same coursework as me, and is balancing a professional athletic lifestyle on top of it, but I don’t know what else I can do!”

Ten minutes later finds you both sitting on some bricks in an abandoned alley in your neighbourhood.

You rant and rant and cry out all your overwhelming feelings of helplessness about your current academic load. Sakusa sits quietly, and just listens to you cry your heart out, offering water every time you pause for breath.

“… I think that covers everything, I’m sorry for dumping it all on you so suddenly. I think I just got overwhelmed and had to let it all out of my system. I’ll be fine once I sleep,” you conclude.

“It wasn’t a problem at all y/n. And it isn’t selfish to be overwhelmed, or to tell me that you are. I have been balancing volleyball with studies for my whole life, obviously I’m doing fine now. But thanks for trusting me.”

You sniffle a bit more, and manage a small smile. He presses your bottle into your hands, and you chug down more water.

It hurts. He’s your friend, and he’s perfect and it hurts. You hadn’t sought him out today because you wanted him, but because he is your closest friend and his presence comforts you like no one else’s. but he’s sitting right next to you without his mask, despite your disgusting runny nose, and he’s offering to be there for you when you need it, and he tries to message you because it makes you happy, and it just hurts. You need to tell him.

“There’s one more thing. Just hear me out, okay?” you stand up and start pacing and continue without giving him a chance to reply, “I love you. You are one of my best friends and I love you. Except that I also like you. As in, I like you like you. As in, I have a crush on you. Except that you are my friend and I love you, and is it even possible to have a crush on someone you already love so dearly? Therefore, I think I’m in love with you. And it hurts. It hurts that there’s something, no someone, I want so deeply, and they’re right here, but they don’t want me the way I want them. You love volleyball, and you’ll be in Osaka this time next year, and I could try to look for placements there, but then, I should probably just let go, right? I mean, you barely text me because your brain is filled with ‘TV static’, so really, what are the odds you like me the same way I like you? You find romantic stuff lame and you find germs too germy. So yeah. That’s it. I’ll shut up now before I do irreversible damage to our friendship.”

You finally look up and meet his eyes.

~~~

He’s there.

When you’re smiling, he’s there.

When you get excited about your books, he’s there.

When you worry about your fears coming true, he’s there.

And when you’re at your lowest, he’s there.

How could you have been expected not to fall in love with this man? This man who has been there for you through all your highs and lows, who has smiled for you each time you’ve felt joy, who’s laughed with you each time you planned for the happy days ahead, and who’s just been there each time you needed somebody to be there for you; how could you not fall in love with this man?

You look at him. You look at him and you see your best friend, your confidant, your first love. But for the first time, you see beyond his pretty fingers and his soothing smile and his calm rationale. You see the apprehension in his eyes, the very real fear of what is to come.

And even then, he smiles.

He’s there. He’s right there in front of you and you are looking at him, and for the first time, you see a lover.

He must be able to see the hope blooming on your face, for his own tentative smile unfurls into that quiet chuckling laugh you have grown to love.

“I thought it was all in my head y/n. Your weird flirting and the sexual tension that popped up out of nowhere,” he announced, clearly very proud of having figured you out before you announced yourself.

“Weird flirting? I was not trying to flirt…” you started, before he laughed again and started to stride towards you, gleam in his eye as if you were Miya Atsumu’s toss just waiting for him.

“Wha-“ DHHONNN.

You were too stunned to even flinch. Did he just kabedon you? His left forearm was right next to your right ear, and he had a little smirk on his face, probably excited that he caught you off-guard. It was, without a doubt, a kabedon.

Wait. Did Sakusa Kiyoomi just kabedon you?

Did you just experience the first kabedon of your life from Sakusa-I-think-cliché-romance-hero-gestures-are-lame-Kiyoomi?

Holy fuck do you need to fangirl. Right now.

“You really need to work on your flirting skills,” he breathes, his face mere inches from yours, his arm resting so casually near your face that one would think he practised kabedonning as a hobby.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEE-P“

He shoves his palm against your mouth, cutting off your squeal, and very effectively ruining the moment. Obviously, you lick the offending appendage. He looks scandalised.

“One moment. One moment, y/n! I thought I could surprise you with some lame cliché romance-hero move, and you just have to squeal in my face and lick my hand. You think you can look all cool and profess your undying love for me, but I can’t get one moment to one-up you? That’s it, romance over. We are done here.”

He turns away, as if about to leave, his hand still over your mouth. You reach out to grab him, but before you can, he turns back around and scoops both your wrists up in his one hand and pins them above your head in one smooth swoop, as if he practises this stuff every day as a hobby. His left arm has not moved even half an inch from its place near your face.

All you can do is stare at him as his smirk returns, with a light dusting of pink across his pale cheeks, as though he himself can’t believe his smoothness. Clearly, the ruined moment can be salvaged.

Very wisely, you keep your mouth shut and your squeal inside your throat.

He walks further towards you, until you feel your feet touching and there remain only a couple of inches separating your faces.

He deliberately looks down at your lips, before slowly lifting his face to your eyes. His own lips look soft and pink and pouty, and you have no idea what must be happening on your face, but it must be good enough for him to blush harder.

You have dreamed of kissing the pink off those cute pouty lips for ages and now that you actually can, he isn’t moving. He is just looking at you, drinking you in, as if mesmerised by whatever romantic fantasies are unfurling behind your eyes.

Or maybe he is just waiting for you to consent to him kissing you? Your brain very helpfully provides. 

You close your eyes and nod, unable to bear the intensity of the moment.

It seems that that was all he was waiting for because you immediately feel his hand cup your face, leaving its place near you head. And suddenly, you feel the softest pressure against your lips. 

The moment ends as soon as it begins, and when it becomes obvious that it will not continue, you open your eyes. Sakusa Kiyoomi stands in front of you, your face in his hand, your wrists in his other hand, his face as pink as his lips, and all you can say is, “hey man when you have your moment, you decide to end it even before it starts! Kiss me properly, I seem to be unable to move.”

He starts laughing, and dives back towards your face, muffling his laughs against your mouth. His fingers tighten around your wrists, and you squirm, wanting to touch him properly now that you have got your bearings a bit. His hand doesn’t loosen though, damn volleyball hand training!

He smiles against your mouth, as if sensing the direction of your thoughts, and you feel his knees parting your own. Very weakly, you part your legs, knowing that at this point, you are very pliable putty in his very capable volleyballer hands.

He doesn’t let the moment escalate though. All he does his keep one leg between yours to pull you close. He keeps your hands out of reach of his body, with his other arm somehow magically around your waist as if to pull you into him, and continues kissing you.

You decide to make as much of this situation as you can and let your tongue peek out of your mouth, but he pulls back. It feels like rejection until-

“One step at a time y/n. I need to sanitise my hand where you licked me, let’s not go into both our tongues licking the others’ yet.” You deem this as enough of a not-rejection, your ears giddily ringing with the word ‘yet’, as he releases you.

He steps back, letting your arms fall back to your sides, and caresses your jaw once before whipping out his sanitiser and practically dousing his hand in it.

“Want me to set it on fire? Alcohol is flammable and it has a greater chance of killing all germs,” you tease, as he pulls your hands towards him, sanitising your wrists where his hand had held you.

Once he is done sanitising, he turns to you and says, “In case that wasn’t a clear enough answer- yes, I want to date you as well. I love you, and have, for a while. We’ll figure out the future together, okay?”

And before you can answer, he grabs your left hand again, but this time, simply holds it as you both walk towards your neighbourhood. The sky has turned darker by now, a pretty shade of pink that you think very accurately matches the colour on both your cheeks. All you can do is turn towards him and smile your biggest smile, as your brain finally decides to reboot.

Sakusa Kiyoomi loves you. Sakusa Kiyoomi is yours for the foreseeable future. Sakusa Kiyoomi is holding your hand in his.

Sakusa Kiyoomi just turned one of your deepest kabedonning fantasies into reality with the same hand that is holding yours right now.

You can’t help it. You are a fangirl after all.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE……”

“DAMN WOMAN WILL YOU STOP SQUEALING YOU SOUND LIKE A RAT TRING TO EVADE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT!”

But his smile never wanes, and his hand tightens around yours, pulling you closer.

~~~

“Hey, I’m really in the mood for some strawberry ice cream right now.”

“Hah, so you agree strawberry is superior!”

[12percentspider]

I've been having my own blood sugar and other health issues lately, and have been really exhausted from work as well. I do my best, though!

But yes, please use lists that show vetted fundraisers. Most of the time if you look at notes in posts and use both your brain and your heart you can find if a fundraiser is verified or not. Yes, some real gofundmes have been impersonated but for the most part people have stolen the images/text and are directing you to a paypal account instead.

^ We have to learn to adapt, chances are you're going to get an ask about sharing a fundraiser and there is an extremely real chance now as of recently that it is in fact a real family in need. The site staff are complicit in genocide and have been terminating blogs with verified fundraisers. There are people who brag about reporting every fundraising blog they see. Don't be that person and don't fall for it.

Yes, the scammers are still using the inbox method but we do have to change how we look at things from time to time. If we are not reevaluating ourselves from time to time, how do we learn? And if we do not learn, we're doomed to cause more harm than good if we do not outright fail.

No, not every fundraiser is going to be on that list [the workload for those who verify these = huge], but use best judgment, not snap judgment. It's not an easy matter, no, because mistaking a real family for a scam will cause so very much harm- but scammers take advantage of both others' kindness and the situations of those in need. Especially when they're profiting off mass murder and ethnic cleansing.

[kwassants]

[TSS] I've always imagined Erina's greenhouse to be huge like this:

With her office inside of it, but with more space in the middle for like, just chilling.

But basically more of a conservatory than a greenhouse, really. The reason being it's a facility for her research and there's a lot of it so she needs the space.

Also puts into perspective just how overworked she was in the first parts of season 1 and how she basically burns herself out on purpose when she's trying to avoid facing her emotions whenever I say she throws herself into research instead of feeling her feelings.

Cause look okay she doesn't have lab assistants she's crazy. There's probably some automations there and some magic but the workload would still be insane but ig that's why she's an Imperial Scholar.

Btw I'm talking about my fic, Through the Shadows of Shame which is an Academy's Undercover Professor RomCom MC x OC fic (and it's a HUGE fic at ~155k word story and counting lol S1 has finished and S2 just started so... kachow maybe check it out...?)

[thessalian]

Thess vs Holiday Prep

Well. Today was ... a mess.

As previously stated, we are in something of a distaster with the workload. Because apparently people being gone for several weeks at a time (it's, what, over a month now?) does not call for getting a temp because "Maaaaaaaaaaybe they'll be back next week".

(Side note: honestly, this really is down to Temp and Other Part-Timer having poor communication skills. I was in regular contact with the office when I was on long-term sick getting my fibromyalgia diagnosis, just to keep them in the loop. Temp, meanwhile, leaves it until two days after the date her doctor's note says she can return to work to say, "Actually, that's not happening". This is, frankly, ludicrous on all counts and we still have no idea when she's going to be back.)

Anyway. First thing was, of course, the regular day job. I did, however, stand up on one very basic point - a request that someone please for the love of fuck take that seventeen-minute Monstrosity so I don't have to. I mean, honestly, it was for the best. My left hand - the one that got caught in a door, y'know - was already sore as fuck just on Annoyances. A Monstrosity would have killed me. And I literally said that. My exact words were, "I know everyone leaves the longer ones for me and I usually don't complain, but I got my hand caught in a door over the weekend (nothing broken, just very bruised) and a macro that long will cause me problems, especially with [Breast Guy]'s macros". Looked back and it was gone. I'd bet good money that Scruffman did it himself, since he probably wasn't going to ask Goblin to do it. I think he looked at my email, went, "I have people out sick and [Thess] is working with a bruised hand on top of that chronic pain thing, so I am going to agree to this pretty reasonable request without a fucking word, at least in part because I will need [Thess] on overtime as much as possible since she's* the only one who will actually do any and I can't afford to cripple her right now. Two days without [Thess] in the office was bad enough".

(* - side note: I am not out at the office. Look at the country in which I live, and the government policy on trans folks over here, for the answer as to why.)

Had to step out - on Christmas Eve, no less - for a couple of last-minute things I couldn't carry on my last shops trip. Mostly bleach, toilet paper, a couple of nibbleables, and something I could reasonably stuff into my face with minimal effort. Thankfully that wasn't a huge deal - honestly, Tesco's yesterday was worse.

But after that I had to come home and do overtime. We're only barely below 500 cases, partly because we had the usual folks in - and one lady in particular throwing urgent cases in the queue until, like, 6pm. I literally yelled, "IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE; GO HOME!" Two and a half hours of overtime, nightmare.

After that and a bath to try to soak some of the aches out, it was time to meet another of my obligations. Specifically ... I do dessert for Christmas dinner at the parentals' house. Started as a tradition last year because it's easier for me to make a dessert that I can eat. Thankfully I wasn't baking anything, exactly - just slightly destroying the kitchen with a mint chocolate cheesecake. The "licking the spoon" test says I did good, anyway. But after all that, we were approaching midnight and I hadn't even had dinner yet. That was my "I'm going to make a nice Christmas Eve dinner for myself" out the window; I just made something simple. But it did mean I ate a proper meal.

After that, wrapping the Christmas gifts for the parentals. Thankfully the Christmas snack hamper for my stepfather was easy to handle; just arrange everything nicely in a gift bag (though I have to remember to take his brie out of the fridge when I take out my cheesecake). Mum ... three small things - two for Christmas, one for her birthday, which happens on the 19th. Managed well enough, despite being obscenely tired by then. Did the cards, packed everything I will need (except for the refrigerated stuff) and set it by the door for easy pick-up tomorrow.

After that, I could finally relax ... in juuuuuuust enough time for it to be "nearly time for bed". AAAAAAAAA!

Happy Holidays, everybody. I wish you a more peaceful holiday than I seem to be having.