#meadowwrites

[keymeadoww]

Outed

Title: Outed

Pairing: Felix Graham de Vanily x m! Reader

Warnings: secret relationship, betrayal of trust, blurting out secrets, panic attack, forced outing, argument, angst, semi-sweet ending? Ooc Felix bc im a sucker for "bad boys" turned soft, Chloe is REALLY evil (this is def not something she’d actually do but for the plot y'know) reader likes boys but sexuality is not strictly mentioned

Word Count: 3.7k

a/n: Its long but tbh this is not one of my better works omg

The night air shone in the sky as you stared into his eyes. He was on his side beside you, his hand trailing shapes on your arms as the two of you just stared at each other. A small smile grew on your face as you admired his eyes. The green shone against the pale red pillow case he was propped against. You were so happy that he was here for the weekend.

Felix returned the soft smile and moved his hand to cup your face. “Mon amour.” He whispered. This was the only time he was truly free. When he wasn’t with you, he was pretending to be someone he wasn’t. Everyone knew him as a bad guy, one who didn’t acknowledge others’ feelings, but he was more than that. He was an incredible person with such a big heart who just had some trouble showing it. “What are you thinking about?”

You were quiet for a minute, remaining star-struck by his eyes. “Just how beautiful you are.” You murmured, quieter than a whisper where only he could hear you. He laughed quietly, leaning over to press his lips to your nose for a brief moment. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He stared into your eyes for a moment longer. “I wanted to talk to you.” He said suddenly. You nodded, sitting up in the bed as he followed suit. “You know I love you a lot, right?”

You nodded, hiding a grin, “Yeah? This is an awful way to break up with me.” You joked.

Felix’s eyes widened and he shook his head, “No, no, no, nothing like tha-” He stopped when he heard your laugh. He blinked for a moment before rolling his eyes. “Ha ha.” His hands grasped yours suddenly. “Amour, I wanted to ask you a few things.” You gave him your undivided attention, nodding to his words. “I wanted to ask you to come over to my house for Christmas this year.” 

“Me?”

“Yes, you.” He chuckled. “My mother will be there. I- I want to introduce you to her.”

You blinked in surprise, “Introduce me to your mother? As your boyfriend?” 

Felix hesitated before nodding. “Yes, amour. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. To do that, you need to meet my mother.”

You stared at him. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to meet his mother; on the contrary, you were ecstatic that he wanted to tell his mother about you! It was just… you had never come out to anyone besides Felix before. It scared you. He noticed the way you were hesitating, immediately moving his thumb over your knuckles. “Please, don’t feel pressured. You don’t have to say yes.”

“Baby, I want to.” You replied, feeling horribly guilty. “I just- I’m scared. I haven’t come out to anyone yet.”

He smiled, leaning his forehead against yours, “Nor have I. We don’t have to tell everyone. Perhaps, just my mother? Then we can move on to your parents when you’re ready. Or, we can wait a bit longer before we tell anyone. I want you to be comfortable.”

You felt like crying. He was truly one of the most understanding people you knew. “I- I don’t want you to feel like I’m hiding you away.” You said in a whisper.

“I know you’re not. We’re in it for the long run, trust me.” He pressed his lips to your forehead gently. “We can talk more about it later. Let’s go to sleep.” He said, laying down beside you. You hesitated before following suit, facing him as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next few days were the same as usual. Felix had to return to London the next day, so you would wake up to an empty bed, go to school, come home, call Felix until you inevitably fell asleep on call, before waking up to do it all again. Throughout the days, you thought about what Felix had suggested. You truly did want to meet his mother. It was a huge step that you really wanted to take with him. But that overwhelming fear made you question everything.

Deciding to ask for some help, you pulled up your social media before switching accounts to a secret account. It was private, and everyone who was following it did not know who you were in person. There, you could rant about life as a closeted man liking men, ask for opinions, and share things you could never share with people you actually knew. 

You stared at the message you had typed to your followers, reading and rereading it over and over, trying to decide if you should actually post it. Glancing at the clock, you realized it was about the time Felix got out of classes for the day. After a silent debate, you sent the post, allowing your followers to see it before calling your boyfriend to talk about your day.

School the next day was boring, as usual. It was exhausting to go through classes that were so extremely boring, but it was a necessity to graduate. You went through the day, talking to friends as you passed them, but ultimately listening to music in the hallways between classes. At lunch, you grabbed a plate, turning off your music to find a seat beside your friends. Marinette greeted you with a grin as you sat across from her, between Alya and Mylene. 

“Hey! How’s classes going for you?” Marinette asked. Unlike the rest of the friend group, you were not in their class. You recounted the boring nature of your classes while joking about some funny incidents that happened (“Jorge tripped over the trash can and fell into the teacher! They both laughed about it in the end.” You added that last part when Marinette looked concerned.)

The trio around you laughed at your story as a loud fake cough echoed through the lunch room. You went quiet, looking around for the person who coughed. Surprisingly, Chloe Bourgeois stood on top of a table, holding her phone in front of her. “Ladies and gentleman, do I have a treat for you! One of our dear beloved classmates- one of our friends has been keeping a secret from us!” She called. The people around whispered about her statement. “I’m about to share those secrets!”

You saw Marinette froze and figured it was something about her and Adrien as Chloe pointed at our table. You froze however, when she said your name loud and clear. You thought about your life, secrets? You didn’t keep many secrets from your friends. The only one you could currently think of was your relationship and the fact that you liked men. Your eyes widened, praying it wasn’t that. How would she know about that!?

She sneered epically, “You have been fooling everyone. I know that at least some girls here have a crush on you.” Your heart stopped. Sure, you were attractive. Sure, you knew of at least two girls who seemed to like you more than a friend. You only told them you weren’t interested. “You act all flustered and tell them that ‘oh, I’m not interested!” She stepped off the table, stalking towards you. All eyes were on you now. “You wanna know why he wasn’t interested?” She asked the group. Chloe’s eyes narrowed, “Because he’s in a relationship!”

Marinette stood up behind you. “Why does that matter? Whoever the girl he’s in love with is, doesn’t matter to us. He doesn’t have to tell us who she is.” Marinette defended. You were still frozen to your seat, eyes wide as she unlocked her phone with a sinister grin.

“He posted this last night.” You couldn’t breathe. Your eyes became clouded. “Hey… i wanted your opinion with something, guys. I have a boyfriend… i know shocker. I haven’t told anyone yet. I haven’t told anyone that i like guys. But nobody that i know in person follows me on here so i think im good. Well… im terrified to come out. Im scared. But my boyfriend wants me to meet his mom. I want to meet his mom more than anything, but im scared to come out. He says its okay if we wait but i feel so guilty. I don’t want him to have to wait to tell his mom about me if he doesn’t want to, but i don’t know if im ready to come out yet. What do you guys think?” She reads from her phone. Word from word, it was exactly what you had posted last night.

You could hear yelling around you- some coming from Chloe, some from your friends beside you- but you couldn’t understand what they were saying. Your thoughts were loud- too loud. You could hear ringing. It was too loud to focus. Your mind was running rampant. You were frozen in your seat. You couldn’t move. You felt numb but also too aware. You couldn’t do anything and it scared you. A hand landed on your shoulder and you jumped, looking to the side wildly.

“Felix…?” You murmured, forgetting that he was in London and that his cousin (who looked an awful lot like him) went to this school. You saw Adrien’s eyes furrow in confusion before immediately shaking the thought away and hoisting you to your feet. You could barely move, but he helped you walk through the crowd and to the hallway. He kept beside you, helping you move farther and farther until he could no longer hear the arguments going on.

“Y/N? I need you to breathe.” Adrien said once he had found a place to let you sit down. “Come on, please. Here, I’ll count to four, and you breathe in. When I say four, hold it until I count to four again. Then release the breath for four seconds. It may take a moment.”

Without a word, you followed his instructions. You hadn’t noticed how low on breath you were, gasping as you took in your first full breath. After a few minutes, your breathing became regular. You were silent. Your mind still raced, but you could hear the building settling around you.

“Are you okay?”

You glanced up, looking directly at Adrien. “Adrien?” You murmured, “Y-Yeah, I’m-” You paused before your eyes teared up, “No. No, I’m not okay.” Your head fell onto your knees as you cried. You were horrified that your secret was revealed without your consent. You were horrified that everyone knew your secret. You were horrified that there was no easing into it (as one of your followers had suggested the previous night). You were horrified by everything going on. 

Adrien hesitated, “Yeah, that was a stupid question.” He moved to sit beside you. “Is- Is there anything I can do to help you? I know I can’t take the pain away, but maybe I can reassure you? Nobody is going to treat you any differently for liking guys.” He said. “It was absolutely disgusting what Chloe did. I don’t condone it in any way, but-”

“No, no but. It was a horrible thing to do. I feel… ruined. I feel like I can’t ever show my face anywhere again. My entire life has been invaded. My secrets have been shared with everyone. If Chloe sneaked into that account? She has every secret or feeling that I have felt since I made the account back in middle school.” You looked up, tears sliding down your face. “My choices have been taken away from me. I wasn’t ready. I’m not ready now. That was something about me that I was not ready to share with anyone besides my boyfriend. Now, everyone knows.” 

Adrien sighed, “You’re right. I’m sorry it happened. I wish I could have stopped her from saying that-”

“But you were curious what her grand secret was. I know how it works. You could have stopped her or at least tried to.” You knew it was unfair to pin some of the blame on Adrien, but your thoughts wouldn’t be quiet. You couldn’t pinpoint what you were thinking.

He paused, looking at you sadly, “I didn’t mean it like that.” He said quietly. “I just- I want to help you feel better.”

“I don’t think you can.”

Without another word, you stood up and walked to the front office. After seeing your face with streaked tears and fretting for a few moments, the receptionist called your parents, asking if you could go home early. Hearing how much you were crying, they agreed, worried about what had happened. 

Instead of heading straight home, you made your way to the Parc Monceau, where you had found a bench hidden behind some trees and bushes. It was a place where you could just release your emotions. The bench felt cold beneath you as you sat down. You breathed deeply at the feeling. It helped ground you. Your phone buzzed beside you as a text from Felix came through.

baby

this reminded me of you, so i bought it for you

(image attached)

The picture was of a very expensive watch (when you googled it later, it was 288€ [319$]) with an infinity sign behind the hands of the clock. It was breathtaking. You stared at the picture, praying it would make you feel better- less exposed. It did nothing to help your current mood. Without replying, you closed your phone, closing your eyes as you leaned back on the chair. You felt horrible. You felt another wave of emotions cloud over you. You felt like crying again. Why did this happen to you? You thought you were so careful when allowing people to follow your account. You made sure you didn’t know any of them.

After a few minutes, your phone buzzed again. Another text from Felix. You distantly remembered that he was out of school today for some reason.

baby

so far, today is going great. I got you so many

gifts while i was out. can’t wait to tell you 

about it

The sentiment made you tear up and cry once again. It was exhausting. You didn’t know what to do. You were a mess right now. You knew, you shouldn’t be alone during this time. But the idea of seeking someone out horrified you. What if they had heard about what Chloe did? What if they hadn’t? You didn’t know which was worse in this scenario. You felt overwhelmed and scared. Could you call your boyfriend? No. Though it seemed like a good idea, you felt horrible to bother him. He was having a good day, he said so himself. He didn’t need you to bring him down. He didn’t need to know how much of a mess today was for you. And, though you knew you wouldn’t truly be bothering him (he would walk out of an important board meeting for you), you couldn’t bring yourself to press the call button on your phone.

You sat in the park for hours, crying off and on. At one point, you had fallen asleep until a goose squawked from behind you, scaring you. When the sun had slowly begun to fall, you glanced at your phone again. Without you noticing, Felix had called five times and sent a multitude of texts, as well as two voice messages. You sighed softly, feeling even worse for ignoring him. You clicked on the texts first.

baby

yeah so many great things for you

and for both of us. I got us some matching rings

oh yeah i also have a surprise to tell you about! call

me when you get out of class

Then, hours later.

baby

did you get detention or smthn? you’ve never been this late to a call.

its okay lol just lmk 

are you okay? its been a little bit, you’re definitely out of

class or detention now

my cousin called me saying you called him felix at lunch

he refused to elaborate, and just asked me to check on you and asked how you knew who i was 

what happened? mon amour, i can see that you read my previous messages.

talk to me or im coming down there. 

You frowned, internally cursing your blonde friend for involving his cousin. You sighed softly, clicking on the first voicemail. “Y/N? Seriously, it's okay if you don’t want to talk, but you have to tell me. Just let me know you’re okay and safe. My father made quite a few enemies that traversed down to me. I just want to make sure you're okay.” The second message was clicked as you stared at the grass below your feet. There was rustling in the background. “Hey, just call me? Text me? Anything?” There was a lady in the background asking for his passport. After a rustle, he returned to the voicemail. “Mon amour, I’m heading to Paris. I hope I’m not being too rash, but you haven’t missed a call the entire time I’ve known you, much less when we were dating.”

Tears welled once again and you cursed yourself for being so sensitive. You went to stand up, only to feel your phone vibrating in your hands. You glanced down. Felix was calling. With a deep breath, you answered. 

“Oh, thank god.” You immediately heard him say with a deep sigh. “Where are you?” He asked, his worried tone coming through clear as day.

“At the park.” You said quietly, trying to hide the fact that you had been sobbing all day. “I’m heading to my house soon, though. It’s okay.”

“Are you okay?” He asked. You could hear a door open and close from his side. “Which park are you in?”

You breathed out deeply, “It doesn’t matter. I’m going to head home soon. Just a little longer.”

“It does matter. Tell me what park, please, mon amour.” You could hear the desperation in his voice. You had never heard him like this before. He was extremely worried, it seemed. He noted the sudden silence. “Y/N, please. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I won’t even approach you if you don’t want me to. I just want to make sure you're safe.”

“I’m fine.” I repeated. My voice rose a bit, allowing a voice crack to interrupt my words.

The call went quiet, the rustling of clothes was no longer audible- he had stopped moving. “Are- Are you crying? Let me help you. Tell me which park you’re at before I search them all.” 

With a sigh, you relented. “Parc Monceau.” You heard him pause on the other end, his clothes rustled as he spun a few times before beginning to walk again. “You don’t have to come to me.”

“You’re upset.” He stated as if it was obvious, “Why wouldn’t I come to you? Don’t hang up the phone.” 

“Felix… this is all my fault, you don’t have to pity me.”

Felix scoffed, “Pity you? Is that what you think I’m doing? Why would I pity my boyfriend? I don’t pity you. I want to help you feel better because when you hurt, it hurts me. I love you. Just let me in.” You stayed quiet, thinking over his words. You felt… bad. You wanted to let him in. You knew you should. You sighed softly, not replying to his statement. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Not particularly.” You replied, closing your eyes. “I don’t want to think about it.” He was quiet for a moment until there was another rustling on his end.

“I’m at the park. Where are you?” You gave him your location with another deep sigh before hanging up the phone. Your eyes scanned the area in front of you before you saw the leaves on the bush in front of you shake lightly. You closed your eyes tightly as you heard his footsteps come closer before you felt him sit beside you.

“Mon amour?” He whispered quietly. You took a deep breath, trying not to break out in tears again. “Look at me, my love.” After you refused, he slowly lifted your head with his finger. “Please?” Your eyes opened slowly to meet his green ones. His eyes held nothing but love and concern for you. “What happened?”

“I-” You hesitated before lowering your eyes once more. This time, he let you look away. “I had a bad day.”

He scoffed, “You think?” You laughed sadly and shook your head.

“Yeah, uh, after we talked a few days ago, when you asked me to come over for Christmas to meet you mom.” His brows furrowed in concern. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it a lot since then. And- I have a private account that I use to help me figure things out, right? Well, Chloe somehow found the account and followed me without me realizing it was her. And, when I posted my dilemma about whether I should come out or not because I don’t feel ready but I want to tell your mom about us.” He nodded along. “Well, Chloe saw the post and decided to read it out loud for everyone in my school to hear.” You saw his eyes harden and his jaw clench.

“What?” He hissed, “She did that to you? I’m going to make her life hell.”

You shook your head, tearing up again. You felt like a crybaby. “No, no. It’s- it’s okay. I mean, it's not okay. But she felt I was keeping secrets from everyone, so maybe it was a good thing? I don’t- I don’t know.”

Felix cupped your cheeks, pressing his forehead against yours. “My love, that was not okay. It was not a good thing. You should have been able to come out whenever you felt comfortable. You shouldn’t have been forced to tell anyone about your sexuality.” He wiped your cheeks where tears were falling. “I am so sorry this happened to you.”

You didn’t respond, opting to stay quiet and close your eyes. You felt his lips press against your cheek as you sniffled. “I think… I think we can tell your mom.”

“Are you sure? We really don’t have to. I will wait as long as you want me to.”

You nodded softly. “Yeah. There’s no use hiding it anymore, eh?” You laughed through your crying. He pulled you into his chest, hugging you tightly. “I love you.” 

“I love you.”