#cause like sometimes (read: most of the time) i only like an older ver of a chara but naw ..... LOWKEY .... nay... i must be silenced .....

[xxplastic-cubexx]

I LOVE your art first of all gahh!!

And i love the way you draw Charles like, did you just make this bald old man incredibly attractive????

thank you so much !! with that i always say I Draw What I See ... charles xavier already attractive nuff said tyvm i didnt do anythin extra.....

[cosmos-hime]

Hi! Wanted to clarify some things in regard to your post about Moo Deng always opening her mouth around her keeper, as a Thai person who lives near the zoo (and has visited the zoo many times) and has access to local information, that Moo Deng isn’t actually being abused like many posts with misinformation may have claimed.

Firstly, I’d like to start by stating that Moo Deng is not the first hippo who has been taken care of by this keeper. The keeper actually took care of Moo Deng’s older siblings for the past 8 years, and is still taking care of all of them even though they’re all adults now. And they all like playing with him.

As for how he’s handling Moo Deng, the process is simply what trained professionals here in Thailand believe is important for baby animals’ safety as well as the keepers’. It’s not just to cause her stress for cute and funny videos, it’s so that she gets used to being handled, because she’s going to be touched and handled throughout her life (by trained professionals, of course) when she gets her regular health checkups.

If he never handled her as a baby, she would only grow up to be an aggressive hippo who attacked the first time a keeper manhandled her. And an attack from an adult hippo can certainly be fatal.

He handled all of her older siblings, and they have all grown up to be friendly towards him. As for Moo Deng, her showing signs of stress is actually her being feisty, which is her unique personality (the main reason she goes viral).

Also worth mentioning that Moo Deng’s mom was with her the entire time her keeper handled her. If her mom actually thought her baby was harmed, she would have attacked the keeper long ago.

I’d also like to add that the keeper isn’t handling her all the time. He’s only with her when he feeds her mom and stays there to make sure the roaming moneys in the zoo can’t steal her food. All of the videos we see of her is from her keeper filming her during the time he feeds her mom, because that’s the only time he spends with them (Moo Deng and her mom)

There is also a live stream where you can watch Moo Deng from her enclosure 24/7, which proves Moo Deng spends most of her time relaxing with her mom.

The only issue is that some visitors have in the past thrown things at her to wake her up, but the zoo has threatened legal action against them and has since made sure no other visitors can bother her again, and so far there has been no reports of other incidents.

I’d also like to say that I understand why some people find the way her keeper plays with her and her other siblings to be “too rough”, as he sometimes (playfully) sprays water at them. Though I’d like to say that I genuinely believe that’s just how they play. It can seem rough in the videos, but as someone who’s seen them live, I can genuinely confirm it’s harmless and more like “how siblings play with each other”. And that they (Moo Deng’s siblings) all like him (the keeper) and are very clearly comfortable around him.

Lastly, please allow me to say that the misinformation about the zoo abusing animals is untrue; the zoo’s known among Thai people to have rescued injured animals, as well as taking in animals from abusive backgrounds whom they rescued. As we, Thai folks, would have been the first to know and call them out if they really were abusive towards their animals.

If you’ve read it this far, thank you. We have faced a lot of racism regarding this, but I understand that there are also good people who are genuinely concerned about Moo Deng’s wellbeing, and I thought I’d clarify this as a local. Thank you for reading. I hope you have an amazing day

I’m still surprised my dumb mistake of a post made waves in the first place.

I plan on deleting the post at this point. I’d reblogged the post with a correction when it had less than 25 notes, but only the incorrect part went semi-viral.

This ask has shown me it’s still having a bit of an impact, and disabling reblogs wasn’t enough. That aside, this was very informative and well written post-I had no idea moo Deng had her own livestream. Thank you for taking the time to write all this out!

[workofheart]

eren jaeger relationship hcs

eren’s turn! modern relationship hcs. nsfw under the cut as per usual <3 levi ver.

really clingy. when ur away on a trip or something, he definitely cuddles your pillow and buries his head in it. might also spray your perfume on his hoodie so he can be reminded of you throughout the day (as if you aren’t already on his mind 24/7)

on that note, LOVES seeing you in his clothing. i feel like for most guys this is true and people mention it all the time, but eren especially. it makes him feel mushy and horny at the same time (more on that later) bc it just drapes over your shoulders perfectly. like he sees you and has to suck in a breath and look away to collect himself or else he’ll just become a puddle on the floor

likes hearing verbal affirmations. when you compliment him, tell him you’re proud of him, he gets all warm and fuzzy inside. it means so much coming from you and he knows you're genuine

really goofy, this is to be expected - tries to get you to laugh bc it raises his self esteem and confidence. he just likes looking at you being happy and smiling, it makes him feel so warm inside

definitely hides behind corners when he hears you walking or coming down the stairs so he can jump out and scare you. don’t worry though, because he always proceeds to hug you and kiss your forehead or temple to say he’s sorry but only kind of bc ur reaction was priceless. the little whack u give his arm in annoyance? he lovessss it bc it’s like he knows u still love him even when he is a little obnoxious

eren is definitely one of those enemies to lovers kind of guy bc he desperately wants someone to love him not necessarily in spite of his flaws, but with his flaws. he needs u to acknowledge that he’s far from a perfect person but still love him regardless

his favorite kind of dates are park dates. he likes going on warm & sunny days to throw a frisbee around with you in the open fields. i feel like he’s a basketball guy so he’ll bring you onto the court and play knockout... when he loses, will tell you he let you win on purpose for the sake of his ego 

lolll imagine him critiquing your free throw form or something and coming up behind you to fix it (it wasn’t actually that bad, he just wanted an excuse to be near you)

really needs physical touch. he’s the kind of guy who will always be in contact w you in some way or another. when driving, his hand will be on your thigh or holding yours on top of the center console, same for if you’re out at restaurants but under the table. he’d definitely try and play footsies with you if you’re sitting across from him rather than beside him. when sleeping, he holds you really tight and won’t let you roll over so you better just get comfortable. 

doesn’t mind being ur photographer and taking pics for you. he takes some time to learn the methods for the best pics but he eventually gets it

this is kind of random but when playing minecraft, he always blows up creepers and never fills in the creeper holes :| sorry. to make up for it he’ll get you music discs. also likes just going on little adventures to find a sand biome two thousand blocks away and just walking with you in game

on this topic actually i LOVE the idea of gamer bf eren. like not the league-and-monster-drinking kind but sumn about him in a headset and sitting at the edge of his bed... but he’ll definitely teach you how to play shooter games and will be so nice about it, won’t get mad at you, will give you little kisses when you’re not doing well and getting frustrated, and if you’re playing in online lobbies together he’ll stick by you the whole time and carry you

always sending you tiktoks & tries to get you to do all the trends with him. they never go viral but he goes back and watches them when he misses you

i peg him as a cat guy! really good with animals in general. i think most people would expect him to be a dog person since he can be loud and rowdy and excited, but on an emotional level i think he also just likes to be calm and relaxed and would get along with cats well. also teases you when animals reject you for him.

definitely writes about you in his journal. he jots down funny things you say or do or moments you shared so he never forgets any of them, and when he misses you he’ll read through them :( imagine when you’re so much older and he has documented proof of his love for you back when he was young please it makes me cry

also writes down little poetic words or things that remind him of you. he’ll hear a quote in a movie or a book or a song that instantly makes you pop into his head and he just has to write it down. he’s probably tried writing poems or songs about you, but he keeps those really secret because he’s embarrassed

this is kind of random but i think he’s a total beach person! likes going to spend days in the sun, builds sand castles and asks for your rating, drags you into the water to swim with him, will dive under and grab your ankles to freak you out, also looks really good in swim trunks but that's besides the point

he hates to see you upset and tries to cuddle the sadness out of you. when needs be, he’s a really good listener and doesn’t mind letting you just vent. when you cry, he pulls you in for a really tight hug and cradles your head - also because if he sees you crying, he’ll start to cry too because he genuinely feels for you 

tries his best to take care of you when you’re sick. not really a good cook or anything, but he’ll make you a grilled cheese or a pop tart, albeit a little crispy even though it’s his third attempt. doesn’t mind being near you and isn’t afraid of getting sick so he’ll cuddle you anyway

loses focus when you’re talking to him sometimes but it’s not because he’s not listening, it’s because he just gets caught up in staring at you and how you look when you talk bc he just adores you. when you snap him out of his, he always gets all red and blushy :(

nsfw under the cut (18+)

really likes sending & receiving nudes/lewds. he always goes for the torso selfie to show off his chest/abs when sending, and it doesn’t matter to him what you send back because he’ll like anything you have to offer

and his responses aren’t lame either. NOT the type to send you a thumbs up or a “ayo you sexy as hell fr doe” - he will hype you up with dirty talk because he seriously means it. honestly might just send you a voice message, or call you if you’re alone and available bc while he might look at pics of you from time to time for aesthetics, the majority of the time he’s jacking off

so you know how i said he likes seeing you in his clothing? he especially likes nudes of you in his clothes. send him a pic wearing his zip up hoodie & nothing else and he’s yours 

he prefers being in control/being on top but doesn’t mind if you want to take the reigns every once in a while

throws his head back and groans when u give him head. that's the image.

one of his favorite positions is when you’re in doggy but he pulls you up by the arms so your back is against his chest. he’ll snake a hand around to rub tight little circles on your clit, might put his hand around your throat if you like it. heavenly.

reallyyyy dirty mouth omg. asks sooo many teasing questions, likes hearing you say his name. “you like that, princess?” “louder for me” “who’s making you feel this good?” ugh and it’s not awkward either he makes it sound so good

has a lot of energy and a lot of stamina. stroke game will make you pass out, he’s so smooth and sets such a rhythm with his hips

things that get him going: kissing under his jaw, especially up by his ear. sucking his fingers. tugging on his hair. running your nails down his back.

pins your thighs to the bed when he eats you out. likes to make you squirm and loooves to edge you. super teasing in every way

can we just talk about his voice for a sec... he has the prettiest moans and isn’t afraid to let you know how he’s feeling. when you’re in missionary, he’ll hold himself up with one elbow, hold your hand with the other, and will lean down to moan right in your ear. sometimes does it on purpose bc he knows it turns you on from how you clench around him

usually has a death grip on that sensitive spot between your hips and your waist so he has something to hold on to while he pounds you

when he cums, he 100% buries his face in the crook of your neck, might even bite down from time to time 

can totally see him going harder if he knows there’s people around, he doesn’t care who it is that’s outside the door but they’re gonna hear how good he’s making you feel whether you like it or not

wants to see your face when you cum. will definitely tell you to cum for him and keep your eyes open when he’s really feeling it - your expression makes him nut so fucking hard lawwddd

daps u up after sex just cause he’s weird like that lol

[foreveradreamlover]

amores que matan parte 1

so yes, here it is. My first attempt at writing a semi-decent body of work. There will be a number of warnings so make sure to go through them before preceding. Enjoy! (I apologize in advance for the formatting, I use Tumblr on my phone 🥴) @lavenderhoney12 thank you for inspiring me to write this, I wouldn’t have wrote it at all without you 🤩💖

warnings: young naive reader, terrible Spanish and English translations, work has not been proofread, angst, hurt, power dynamics, future throuple between Miguel-Maria-Reader, possible dubious consent because of the power dynamic, possible dark undertones, talk of abortion and infedelity. Idk what else I’m missing but I’m sure I hit all the marks without giving it all away.

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Sometimes you wished you hadn’t met Felix and Maria. Your life would have been so much easier if you hadn’t crossed paths with them and fallen for both of them. And as you laid between them in their marital bed, you realized your life was going to get a lot more complicated now. You stared at the ceiling, feeling tears well up in your eyes. The guilt began to eat you up, the regret sank in.

You don’t belong here, you have no place here. There was no room for you in their marriage, no matter how spacious their bed was. A marriage is a commitment between two people, a third was not possible. You managed to hold in your sobs as you realized how royally fucked you were because you didn’t want to wake them up. You already felt terrible enough, you didn’t want them to make you feel even worse by trying to justify it.

But how did you get into this mess?

The events of the night before were hazy but as you wiped your tears it all became clear again.

You began yesterday morning like any other morning in the Felix household. It was your responsibility to wake up Abril and Miguelito, as you were the full time nanny, and get them ready for the day. It was the best job you ever had, honestly. You love those two like your own and they were great kids. After the kids were taken to school, you left a two weeks notice letter on Maria’s desk when you returned back to the house.

The rest of the day was anxiety inducing, you spent the majority of your time trying to steer clear from Maria but also trying to complete the chores like organizing Abril’s closet. Eventually, you couldn’t hide from her anymore when Maria managed to have Abril trick you into meeting outside by the pool.

“Gracias mi amor. (Thank you my love)” María smiled at Abril as the little girl practically dragged you outside, knowing that the plan had worked just as she predicted. “Ahora puedes jugar con tu hermanito. Pero no juegan aquí, necesito hablar con tu niñera. (You van go play with your brother now. But you cannot play here, I need to speak with your nanny)”

Abril nodded and before you could make up another excuse, Maria held up your letter.

“¿Qué chingados es esto? (What the fuck is this?)” Maria was never one to beat around the bush, it almost made you regret dropping the notice on Maria’s desk instead of Felix’s.

Felix at least would have accepted it and not confronted you about it. He knew you were replaceable. Maria on the other hand surprised you. At the most you expected a slight sadness but never anger.

“¿Lo leíste? (You read it?)” you cringed, watching Maria’s eyebrows furrow even deeper.

“¡Cómo no! (Of course!)” she noticed you taking a step back before reeling her anger back in, “Perdón, a la mejor estoy un poco confundida. Pense que estabas feliz aqui, cuidando a mis hijos. Fue hace unas pocas semanas cuando me dijiste que estabas la mas feliz que ha sentido en tu vida. ¿Qué cambió? Y no quiero mentiras, quiero la verdad. (Sorry, maybe I’m a bit confused. I thought you were happy here, taking care of my kids. It was just a few weeks ago when you told me that you were the happiest you have ever felt in your life. What changed? And I don’t want to hear your lies, I want the truth.)”

When she asked you that question, you felt your heart beat so fast that you swore even Maria could hear it. You looked at Maria’s face and you knew in that instant that no matter how hard you tried, you would never be able to lie to her. You cared too much about her to lie. Especially in her face when she’s asking for the truth. Even if the truth may scare her or make her despise you, she would have to respect it. She asked so you had to deliver.

You took a deep breath, feeling your eyes starting to water up and causing Maria to give a concerning look. She was about to walk closer to you when you lightly put you hand up to indicate her that you were fine.

“Yo - yo no sé cómo decir esto. Honestamente, no pensé que te lo diría, cara a cara pronto así. No estoy segura que puedo hacerlo. Es different pensarlo que decirlo. Creo que podría morir aquí antes de poder decirlo...(I—I don’t know how to say this. Honestly, I didn’t think I would say it, face to face this soon. I’m not sure if I can do it. It’s different thinking it than saying it aloud. I think I could die before I could say it)” Your voice wavered, Maria’s face suddenly blurry from the tears shedding from your eyes at an alarming rate.

It was like all the tears you had refused to shed for months had finally decided to come out now.

“Mija... puedes decirlo. No sé qué es lo que tienes dentro pero tienes que dejarlo salir. Puedo ver que está haciendo más daño solo por estar dentro de ti. Suéltalo, te vas a sentir mejor si lo hagas. (Honey, you can say it. I don’t know what it is inside you but you have to let it out. I can see that it’s doing more bad being inside of you. Let it go, you’ll feel better if you do that)”

You didn’t know how but those words gave you the last needed to push to finally say it.

“Maria, me gustas desmiasado. No tenía idea de que querer a alguien así podría doler tanto. Pensé que enamorarme de alguien sería hermoso como una rosa, pero las espinas me pellizcaron... Si hubiera sabido que enamorarme de ti me haría sentir así, me habría ido antes. Me quedé porque pensé que podría superarlo. Pero no puedo, así que es mejor que me vaya. Te ruego que me dejes ir. (María, I like you too much. I had no idea that liking someone would hurt so much. I thought falling in love with someone would be beautiful like a rose but the thorns pinched me. If I knew that loving you would make me feel this way, I would have left sooner. I stayed longer than I should have because I thought I would get over it. But I can’t, so it’s better if I leave. I beg you to let me leave.)” Your words came out slurred, you weren’t even sure if it was audible through the sobs.

You felt incredibly vulnerable, your vision unclear and your mind foggy. You hadn’t a clue where Maria stood or if she was even there. All you felt was your heart breaking each passing second you heard silence. You just poured out your heart of all the thoughts you harbored for months, did she know you were happy because you were in love with her? Your happiness was just a facade, it was the rose colored glasses that made you think this was love. Love couldn’t possibly feel this cruel and hurtful.

You were about to wipe your tears when you felt a pair of hands cup your face. The thumbs carefully wiped away your tears, allowing for some relief from the waterfalls pouring out of your eyes. You relished in their touch, not knowing how good it was just to be in contact with another person. You were truly touch starved and even their simple brush of your tears was enough to heal some of your deep-seated wounds you possessed. You were broken and it took one unattainable love to make you realize.

“Ya, ya. Suelta todo que tienes dentro de ti. Te vas a sentir mejor cuando todo esto se termine. (Now, now. Let go of everything inside you. You’ll feel much better when all of this is done.)” María whispered, pulling you closer to her and stroking your hair. You shuddered and felt like the tears would never be able to stop. Maria didn’t yell at you like expected, she pitied you. You honestly didn’t know what was worse. You got to be in Maria’s arms but for the wrong reasons.

You’re so stupid, you thought to yourself. You can’t compete with Felix, which you still had unrealized feelings for by the way. He’s the breadwinner and father to her children, you’re just a stupid nanny who fell in love with someone she couldn’t have.

Having your face buried in Maria’s shoulder only made you feel more in love with her in a fucked up away. Her compassion towards you made you fall harder. With this embrace, you could smell the expensive floral and sweet perfume and feel her in a way you could have only imagined before this exchange. It would have probably hurt you less if she pushed you off her and refused to see you again. At least then you would know to move on. This unexpected reaction from Maria has left you confused. This hug seemed too friendly for a simple embrace.

“¡Señora! (Mrs!)” fellow employee called out, a phone in her hand. “Habla Señor Felix! (Mr. Felix is calling!)”

And just like that, the things you thought you could only dream of crumbled as Maria took her hand out of your hair and sighed. Maria turned to the elderly woman, giving a weak smile, “Por favor dígale que no puedo atender el teléfono. Estoy un poco preocupada en este momento. (Please tell him I’m not able to come to the phone. I’m busy at the moment.)”

The older woman nodded, heading back inside as Maria pulled you back in for another warm hug. You tried to make words, feeling your lips tremble every time you attempted to say something. Your mouth felt dry and your head throbbed with pain. You weren’t sure if you would have any tears left after this episode, they were coming all at once.

“Creo que deberíamos entrar a la casa. Tu cara se siente caliente. (I think we should head inside. Your face feels hot.)” María pulled back to examine your face, a worried expression on her own face when she put the back of her hand on your forehead.

You nodded weakly, suddenly remembering you two were talking outside the whole time. You really hoped nobody heard walking by. The future was uncertain now. Maria neither accepted or rejected your two weeks notice and now that she knows that you loved her, the chances of her being comfortable around you were probably slim to none. You couldn’t blame her if she was uncomfortable with this situation, she was married and you worked for her. You also didn’t know if she even liked women.

You didn’t think you did either until you saw Maria for the first time.

Maria wrapped an arm around your shoulder as she lead the way into the house and to your bedroom. Your eyes kept steady to the ground, averting any possible eye contact with anyone who happened to be nearby. The whole walk to your bedroom was so eerie and tense that you wished nothing more than to disappear.

Maria helped you onto your bed and you accepted the comfort of the bed instantly because you had a feeling that the bed was going to be your only companion from now onwards. At least you got to hug her twice, you thought bitterly. To avoid any more conversation, you turned away from Maria and to the wall, hoping she would walk out and leave you be. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself but more so her anymore. You said enough and for that, you felt that you deserved to be excommunicated.

Instead, you felt her sit at the front of the bed.

“Siempre supe que me amabas. (I always knew you loved me)” She sighed loudly, hearing the instant relief washing over her. The fact shocked you, how did she know? When did she find out? Was it that obvious? The questions came faster than the possible answers and it was as if she knew what you thought because immediately after the short silence she said, “No me interrumpas. Has hablado bastante. Ahora es mi turno. (Don’t interrupt me. You’ve talked a lot already. It’s my turn now.)”

You kept quiet, looking at the wall to try to stop the thinking.

“Sé que te estás preguntando cómo lo supe. Creo que lo supe cuando me dijiste que eras feliz hace unas semanas. Sé cuando a alguien le gusta otra persona y lo vi en ti. Traté de no pensar en la posibilidad de que yo te gustara, no quería pensar eso porque no quería verte de manera extraña. También crecí en una casa muy religiosa ... Nunca le he dicho esto a nadie, ni siquiera a Miguel ... pero siempre supe que también me gustaban las chicas. Y por eso, me asusté cuando me dijiste que me amabas. Mi primer pensamiento fue rechazarte ... fingir que esto no sucedió y dejarte ir como pediste. Pero luego recordé cómo me sentí cuando mi mejor amiga me llamó lesbiana sucia...(I know you’re asking yourself how I knew. I found out when you told me you were happy a few weeks ago. I know when someone likes another person and I saw it on your face. I tried not to think about the possibility of you liking me, I didn’t want to view you weirdly. I also grew up in a religious household...I never told anyone this, not even Miguel but I knew from a young age that I also liked girls along with boys. That is why I was scared when you told me you loved me. My first thought was to deny what you said, to pretend it never happened and let you go like you asked. But I began to remember when my best friend called me a dirty lesbian...)” Maria’s voice wavered a bit before she cleared her throat to continue with her little story, “Recuerdo sentirme tan mal conmigo misma. Pensé que mis sentimientos eran repugnantes y eso me hizo dejar esos sentimientos a un lado. No fue hasta que llegaste cuando empecé a recordarlos. (I remember feeling terrible with myself. I thought my feelings were disgusting and that caused me to put my feelings to the side. It’s what until you came into my life that I began to remember them.)”

“M—María... ¿Porqué me estas diciendo esto? (Why are you telling me this?)” your voice cracked, turning to your other side to see her back was facing towards you. “No es necesario que me explique. No sé qué decir ... Has sido amable conmigo en los pocos meses que trabajo aquí. Realmente amo mi trabajo pero no entiendo el sentido de esta conversación. Estoy despedida ... al menos creo que estoy despedida. (You don’t need to explain to me all of this. I don’t know what to say. You’ve been so kind to me in the few months I’ve worked here. I really love my job but I don’t know why you’re telling me all this. I’m fired...at least I think I am fired.)”

Maria turned to you, her face streaming with tears, “No estas despedida. Te lo digo para que cuando empiece a besarte, no te sorprendas. (You are not fired. I am telling you all of this because when I start to kiss you, you won’t be surprised.)”

The words almost didn’t register fast enough as Maria leaned down to kiss you, slowly at first so it didn’t overwhelm you. Once it began to sink in, you kissed back eagerly. You didn’t know if you were dreaming or dead, everything seemed to happen so fast. Never in a million years did you think your feelings would be reciprocated.

Maria’s hand gripped the hair on the back of your head, intending to keep your face in place when she broke the messy kiss to peck at your neck. Even though you two only kissed once, it told you a lot about Maria. Things you suspected but never truly could have known until this moment.

Maria is domineering. She’s the one in control and you were the one to be controlled. You didn’t mind, you were taking anything you could get from her.

Maria was also playful, her free hand was playing with your necklace as she kissed around the exposed skin on you neck and upper chest.

But above all, she was passionate. You were so under her spell and past sanity that you didn’t notice when she unbuttoned your white shirt. Your face flushed as you looked down to see that she had taken off her own top, wondering if this was a signal to take off the rest of your clothes. You fumbled with your hands to reach your back to begin unhooking your bra when she stopped you.

“Creo que deberíamos continuar con los besos. Lo que queremos no puede suceder porque no tenemos suficiente tiempo. No pensé que me pondría cachonda tan rápido.” She smiled as she traced a finger along your collarbone, “Te ves tan hermosa sin camisa puesta, casi no puedo esperar para ver más. (We should continue with only kissing. What we want cannot happen because we don’t have enough time. I didn’t think I would get horny so fast. You look beautiful without a shirt on, I can hardly wait to see more of you).”

You blushed and leaned in to continue making out with her. Maria pulled you onto her lap to straddle her, her hand immediately grabbing your ass. You gave a surprised gasp, making Maria laugh in response. You both kiss each other, your lips feeling swollen when you parted. You pulled away, breathless and laid down on the bed.

“Esto se siente mal. Usted es mi patrona, cuido a los niños... eres una mujer casada. (This feels wrong. You’re my boss, I watch the kids...you’re a married woman).” You began to panic, sitting up instantly in fright when Maria placed her hand on your stomach to push you back down.

“Querida, tengo una pregunta y quiero una respuesta. (Darling, I have a question and I want an answer from you)” Maria turned to you and made sure you two shared eye contact, “Te gusta mi marido, ¿no? (You like my husband, don’t you?)”

You gave her a confused look. Did Maria know all? Had she been spying on you? How does she know that you like Miguel as well? I guess I’m not as secretive as I thought, you thought to yourself. But how can you answer her? What was the right answer? What did she want to hear?

“No no. ¡No pienses! No me gusta cuando haces eso. (No, no. Don’t think about it! I don’t like when you do that.)” Maria shook her head, “Quiero que me des una respuesta honesta. No quiero escuchar una mentira, quiero escuchar la verdad. Usted me puede decir. Realmente me gustaría saber. (I want you to give me an honest answer. I don’t want to hear a lie, I want to hear the truth. You can tell me. I would really like to know.)”

You felt your heart beat faster, suddenly feeling dizzy. You barely realized your dehydration from crying so much earlier.

“Bueno ... parece que ya sabes la respuesta. (Well...it sounds like you already know the answer to your question)” You bit your lip, wiping the slight precipitation on your upper lip.

“Me conoces bien. (You know me well)” Maria gave a wide grin, leaning down to kiss your forehead, “Quiero oírte decirlo. Quiero escucharlo de tus labios. Si no dices nada, haré que uses tus labios de otras formas. (I want to hear you say it. I want to hear it from your lips. If you don’t say anything, I will have you use your lips in other ways).”

Your eyes widened, “Para mí, eso suena maravilloso. (For me, that sounds wonderful)” Maria shot you an unamused expression, prompting you to finally confess, “Tu esposo también me gusta. Lo siento. No eres solo tú. También es él. Y me hace sentir aún más repugnante. (I like Miguel too. I’m sorry. It’s not just you. It’s him as well. And it makes me feel even more disgusting.)”

Maria wasn’t phased, deciding to lay down next to you finally and looking up at the ceiling, “Tuviste ojos en él desde que llegaste. Pensé que ustedes dos ya habrían dormido juntos antes de esto. Todo el mundo sabe que se acuesta con putas. Supongo que elegí no darme cuenta. Todo estuvo bien hasta que me encontré con esa puta que quedó embarazada de él. (You’ve has eyes on him since you’ve arrived. I thought you two would have already slept together by now. The whole word knows that Miguel sleeps with whores. I guess I chose to be ignorant to the fact. I was fine with pretending it wasn’t an issue until I found the whore he impregnated).”

You gasped but quickly regretting it. You had heard the rumors from other employees but didn’t think there was any truth to them.

“Le di dos opciones. La primera fue abortar al bebé y recibir algo de dinero como compensación por el trauma de perder a un hijo. La segunda era tener el bebé y recibir el dinero suficiente para salir de Guadalajara. Me vale madres que pasará con el bebé o ella, me costó mucho no matar a Miguel cuando me contó lo que pasó. Me avergonzó al hacerme hablar con ella en lugar de hablar con ella él mismo. Para abreviar la historia, eligió el aborto. Por mucho que odié a Miguel en ese momento, todavía amo a ese idiota. Sentí pena por esa mujer que pensó que a Miguel le importaría lo suficiente como para hablar con ella. Miguel apenas se preocupa por nuestros hijos, por eso tenemos una niñera. Le rompió el corazón y el mío al mismo tiempo. Qué hombre. (I gave her two options. The first was to abort the baby and receive money as compensation for the trauma of losing a baby. The second was to have the baby and get enough money to leave Guadalajara. I don’t give a fuck what happened with the baby or her, it took everything to not kill Miguel when he told me what happened. He embarrassed me when he made me talk to her instead of talking to her himself. To make a long story short, she chose the abortion. Although in that moment I hated Miguel, I still love that idiot. I felt terrible for the woman who thought Miguel cared enough to talk to her. Miguel barely cares about our children’s, that’s why we have you. He broke her heart and mine at the same time. What a guy.)”

The two of you laid silent, you looked at her and she up at the ceiling. You noticed a stray tear falling from her eye and you were quick to wipe it away.

“Lo peor de todo es que yo también la odiaba. No porque se acostó con él, sino porque quedó embarazada. ¿Por qué todas las putas quedan embarazadas? Solo pude tener dos hijos, quería uno o dos más. ¿es mucho para preguntar? Dolía sugerir el aborto, pero no soportaba que otra mujer tuviera a su hijo bastardo como recordatorio de su infedilidad. (The worst of all is that I hated her too. I didn’t hate her because she slept with him, but because she got pregnant. Why do all the whores get pregnant? I only had two, I wanted one or two more. That’s all. Is that too much to ask for? It hurt to suggest the abortion but I couldn’t stand another woman having his bastard child. That child would always be a reminder to me if his infidelity)” Maria’s eyes closed to stop the tears and even through non sexual ways, you learned more about Maria.

She was broken. As were you. She was just better at hiding it. You didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, you didn’t think you could cheer her up from admitting to forcing a woman getting an abortion. She needed to get this off her chest.

In your mind, you thought Maria was cruel for giving that woman an ultimatum. Maria may have said she had given the woman two options but it was obvious which one the young woman would take. Even if she was carrying the bastard child of Miguel, that baby deserved a chance to live. The baby did nothing wrong but be conceived. It wasn’t like Maria couldn’t have adopted it, she wanted more children. Maybe this child was the chance for her to have the third child she’s always wanted. What was the difference if the baby came from a different woman? Maria was going to be the mom all the same.

“Ahora sabes más sobre el tipo de hombre que es Félix. Es un lobo a la vista, obtiene lo que quiere. Siempre. Eres joven, amable, pero un poco ingenua, te comerá y te dejará sin nada. Te romperá el alma como si nada. Solo te lastimarás en el proceso. (Now you know what kind of man Felix is. He’s a wolf in plain sight, he gets what he wants. Always. You’re young, loving, but a bit naive. He will eat you up and leave you with nothing. He will break your soul like it was nothing. You’ll just hurt yourself in the process)” Maria stroked your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead as she shifted towards you.

You turned to her, cupping her face gently. You felt like you hadn’t been looking at her in the eyes enough so you made sure this time to make a point, “Te amo Maria y si lo que dices es cierto sobre Felix, no lo aceptaré. Solo quiero estar contigo, sea lo que sea que eso signifique. No quiero irme, quiero quedarme aquí y cuidar de los niños. Me preocupo por ellos. (I love you Maria and if what you say about Felix is true, I won’t accept him. I just want to be with you, whatever that entails. I don’t want to go, I want to stay here and take care of the kids. I care for them.)”

“Sé que has estado hablando de el amor todo este tiempo, pero ¿sabes siquiera qué es el amor en realidad? Sé que no has estado con nadie, eres apenas una adulta. ¿cómo sabes de lo que estás hablando? Puedes pensar que me amas, puedes pensar que amas a los niños, incluso puedes pensar que puedes cambiar a Miguel. (I know you’ve been talking about love this whole time but do you even know what real love is? I know you haven’t been with anyone, you’re barely an adult. How do you know what you’re talking about? You can think you love me, the kids, you may even think about being able to change Miguel)” she ran a finger over your bottom lip, smiling softly at how you slightly trembled from the sensation, “No sé si te estoy contando todas las cosas malas que tiene Félix para protegerte o para ser egoísta. No me gusta compartir. Eres tan preciosa que no merece ni siquiera tocar un solo cabello tuyo. Está mal querer tanto a alguien. Pero se siente tan bien. Finalmente entiendo a Félix y por qué se coje a mujeres que no son su esposa. (I don’t know if I’m telling you about Felix to project you or to be selfish. I don’t like to share. You’re just so precious that he doesn’t deserve to even touch a single hair on your head. I finally understand why Felix fucks other women who aren’t his wife.)”

You saw the passion in Maria’s eyes and that let you know that she meant what she was saying. She had reason to believe that maybe you weren’t really in love and that it was just lust. You didn’t want to believe it but with every passing moment, you couldn’t help but fall more deep than before. At first you felt terrible at the idea of betraying her marriage and being the home wrecker but how could you wreck a home that was already on its way to be demolished? Maria just wanted to be loved and you planned on doing just that.

You felt that it was the right time to lean in for another passionate kiss when you heard Miguelito pound on your door.

“¿Bebita, estas en tu cuarto? Necesito ayuda con mi tarea, por favor. Te prometo que no voy a dar lata. (*Nickname*, are you in there? I need help with my homework please. I promise I won’t be difficult.)” He whined, continuing to knock softly in the hopes that gig will respond back.

You smiled softly, instantly getting off the bed and freshening up. You had a job to do and you were momentarily sidetracked. “Si estoy aquí. Estaré allí en un momento. Espero que te mantengas fiel a tu promesa, cariño. (I am in here. I will be there in a second. I hope you can keep your promise, sweetheart)”

As you gave an apologetic glance to Maria, you quickly made yourself presentable and happily helped Miguelito with his homework. Anything to get your mind off of everything that had happened before he interrupted.

You were walking out when you saw Felix in the hallway, walking towards you. You tried your best to seem nonchalant in the hopes he would not stop you but right when you walked next to him, his hand gripped your arm tightly to get you to stop in your tracks.

“¿Sabes dónde está mi esposa? (Do you know where my wife is?”

And that’s it folks. For now. 😋 This series will be dialogue heavy so I apologize in advance. Thank you so much for reading!

[han100894]

My NNT Ships

The people I ship, how I feel about them, and Misc headcanons

My two fav ships are Escalin and Monderi

Escalin: I got into Escalin after I first watched the first season, wanted more, and looked up the manga—reading VoE for the first time. Escanor is just so cute, and I always “fall” for the depressed/anxious but trying hard characters so I was routing for him with Merlin. Later as I read the mange I started rooting for him more, though it was only after I took a break and then came back with Season two and caught up in the manga that I got really attached, probably because it wasn’t until then that the two actually were face to face again.

I see them still needing some time to work out their feeling before they get together CoughMerlinCough but once they are together I think they’d have a pretty good relationship. Originally I had them as not having kids, but @bertazsleepyhead convinced me otherwise with her cute picture of Escanor sleeping with a little daughter ^^ so now they are the only main ship that ended up with a biological daughter ^^

Monderi: I’ve shipped Monderi since I first noticed they always seemed to be together (and also Deri sleeping of Mons leg), and partly it was for the shallow reason that they looked good together. But as time went on, and they had more little hints I feel hard, especially once they ended up in the villege, the talk they had before Esta showed up… I just love it ^^ They just have so much angst and history together, and I so wanted them to be happy…

Three things:

I actually like to think what was going on with Rejine wasn’t an onesided attraction/love triangle. Instead I like to think Monspeet actually did love her in return, it’s just that he ended up falling for both sisters. So yes, in a perfect world the three would be in a v-shaped threesome (Aka Monspeet would be dating both sisters)

Despite Derieri having been a commandments since she was a child, her and Monspeet didn’t really interact until after her hundredth (human-like demon’s majority) birthday, to avoid the uncomfortableness that could cause.

I have an OC, Lokan or Loki, a little half human/ half demon boy who often ends up more or less adopted by Derieri (and if Monspeet is alive) Monspeet.

Kaine: I like Kaine, it was my first big ship when I watched season one, and I still enjoy it… but I’m not as invested in it anymore. I think the constant losing of memories eventually tired me out a little. It’s still sweet, and I’ll write them as background ship in my stories, but I’ll probably never write them as a main ship in a story.

Also as HC, considering Fairies are born from plants, I HC that King is sterile. Since they both still want lots of kids they end up adopting a bunch across multiple races ^^.

Banelane: (Is that how it’s spelled?) these two are cute. I never shipped them super, super hard, but I want them to be happy and together after all the effort they went through ^^.

Plus, and I know this is an uncommon opinion but…I took the fight Ban and Meliodas had during the tournament to have been not “Loli vers Boobs” as I’ve seen some describe it, but Cuddling vers. Sex, and so I actually see them as an asexual couple, which makes me feel good because it’s really rare for me to see people like me in the things I watch or look at.

(I actually HC that fairies kinda default to asexual, partly because they come from plants and are sterile anyway, and partly because they have very little experience with outside races most of them to learn about sex as they have a much lesser instinct drive for the most part in that regard. King is a bit of an exception to that mostly due to the amount of time he’s spent with humans.)

And yeah that goes against some theories, like them having Lancelot, which my HC that fairies are sterile also messes up, which I figured… they could mentor the kid instead, or adopt (Though I actually see them as the couple who doesn’t really want kids, they want to go on adventures together, and are happy being aunt and uncle to others kids, but don’t really want their own.) Like, Merlin isn’t an old man and only met Arthur later in life, Escanor only takes the powers from his namesake and otherwise is completely different, and Gowther is nothing like his namesake except his armor kinda, let alone Merlin’s half-brother—it’s not all 1 to 1 connected… *shrug*

Meliodas/Elizabeth: Okay so real talk…I never really could get into this couple. Meliodas “Playful” sexual harassment turned me off pretty early on, made worse by Elizabeth being sixteen (Which is already kinda of uncomfortable) for most of it. Was it supposed to mostly be comic relief, yes. Did I find any of it funny, no. No shame to people who do like them, but I just can’t fully get past the squick.

That said it will show up, considering how major a thing it is in the story itself, as a background ship—one which will always either take place after Elizabeth got her memory back and is at least not mentally 16 or in some cases I upped her age to 18, to make me feel a bit better, even if it’s really not that much better. In AU’s I’ll sometimes also flip things around, aka Elizabeth is Margret’s and Veronica’s older sister (Taking inspiration of Goddess Elizabeth I suppose) instead of have her be the younger one.

Jericho/Guila: I love these two okay, ever since they became partners I’ve loved them, and that was only reinforced during the last battle of arc one. I love their relationship, and I wish there was an actual chance they would get together…

Veronica/Grimoire: I love these two, their “are they together or not” –ness is fun to watch and look at. I also feel bad for them quite a bit, both of them always seem to get the wrong end of the stick. Grimoire goes to train and gets turned into a child for a month while his firneds get even stronger than him, Veronica goes to train, sneaks off in armor to her uncle…and then nothing comes of it. I really hope they get at least one decent moment in the future.

Gil/Margret: Nothing really to say about this couple, they are cute, very canon, and will hopefully both survive what’s happening to them. Margret taking up a dsword and going out to find Gil was nice (Though it did kind of feel like she took Veronica’s arc from her a bit), and Gil’s devotion to trying to keep her safe while she’s possessed is also sweet. Also bonus point for being pretty much the only canon couple that doesn’t have some kind of abnormal height difference/age gap…

Honorable mention:

Ban/Elaine/Jericho: Look, the Raven’s arc was the best arc, and Jericho had the best character development ever, and honestly I could kind of see it, in a sense at least. Either way I want to see these three interact more together.

[mmacabrera]

Opportunities we had lost || part 1

chapter 1: all those golden opportunities

summary: She was Goldie O’Gilt, she didn’t wait for opportunities anymore. She made them if it was necessary and she took them without letting go of even one bit. She could have this, if she didn’t have this when she was younger, maybe she could have this now. Goldie O’Gilt took what she wanted, this woman was no exception.

character/ships: m’ma cabrera/goldie o’gilt. only mentioned: scrooge mcduck/goldie o’gilt

word count: 4192

n/a: Reincarnation!AU, resolved unresolved sexual/romantic tension, making out, bamf adult ladies, made up backstories, some guns but they’re never used, visit my tumblr for the masterpost page of this fic

When Goldie was younger, thirteen years old at best, she met a foreign girl two years older than her that was part of a Spanish family that was looking for commercial anglings in Dawson. Goldie didn’t think too much about her at the start, except that she looked too serious to be so young and that even when she was incredibly beautiful, the air of calm and stubbornness surrounding her was her most attracting feature. Or at least, that was what she heard from the clients of the Blackjack.

In a place as boring as Dawson, the family converted themselves into the town’s new attraction in no time.

Funnily enough, three days after that, a scandal spread through town about them being “completely crazy” and “Spain probably is weird with people like that”. Goldie laughed hard when she finally heard the rumor, a teenager hitting a grown ass man with enough force to break his jaw because he touched her. Yeah, right, that couldn’t be true. And her parents didn’t scold her but encouraged her and not only that but they screamed at the man too? It sounded like a well made-up story to tell to naïve little girls about the power of love or some shit.

Until she saw Mr. McReed, a man known for his extreme horrible behavior towards young ladies who always got away with it, with his jaw broken and turning around scared every time a young woman passed by his side, it was then that Goldie knew she needed to meet this duck.

The opportunity came when the Flores Silva (someone kept talking about them in the saloon and spilled their family name) gave a visit to the Blackjack. Everybody whispered, everybody had something to say about them but the Flores Silva were oblivious or just didn’t give a fuck at all because they kept walking to the counter like nothing was going on around them. When they got to the counter, the adults demanded to talk to the owners for a business meeting. Their daughter seemed disinterested and kept looking around the saloon.

Goldie was working as hard as ever, always looking for the opportunity to approach the family when a man touched her waist weirdly. She let it past because it could have been an accident. Until the touch repeated and Goldie felt paralyzed.

The girls of the saloon told her it was normal, that men had the right to have whatever they wanted out of women because they were the ones that did all the hard work out there, they deserved it. It was the way of life.

Goldie didn’t like the so-called ‘way of life’ too much. But she couldn’t complain, because it would mean losing a client and making a fuss that maybe would make them lose even more clients, she couldn’t do that to her parents. They needed the money.

The man touched her again, this time she couldn’t suppress the indignant squeal that escaped her beak because he actually went directly to pull her tail, the man only laughed at her with his buddies. Goldie gripped her tray tighter, suppressing the need to scream in his face. She wouldn’t say something, it would cause trouble for her parents. She couldn’t-.

“I do not think the girl really likes what you are doing, maldito asqueroso. Let her go now, she is just a kid, are you stupid or just blind?”

Those words sounded ridiculously loud around the saloon even if she actually said then in a normal tone, but everybody was silent and the man that kept pestering her looked at the girl with the face of someone that didn’t know what ‘no’ meant. He stood up, towering the other girl easily with his muscles and height. Goldie held her breath along with the other clients of the Blackjack. Everybody waited for the explosion that supposedly should come with this foreign girl.

But she said nothing more than that, waiting for the man to talk.

“You think you can just say that to me, girl?”

“Let the kid go. Don’t make me lose my patience, man.”

Goldie indulged herself and took a good look at the girl while she was arguing with the bigger duck. She was, in fact, beautiful. A light brown duck with wavy darker brown hair that was long enough to get to her waist, she was slightly taller than Goldie, maybe one or two inches. She used some big jewelry too with a red dress that molded to her waist. It suited her, she thought. She was really attractive.

Then all hell broke loose. The man let go of Goldie and instead tried to grab the Spanish girl. She reacted fast, punching him in the gut with enough force to make him almost fell down before he could get to touch her. Screams were heard around the place but honestly, Goldie was mesmerized, she had never seen a woman fighting. The man, even more enraged now, sent a punch to the girl but she evaded it gracefully, the punch ended landing in an old owl that was just taking a beer, he got up and punched the duck on the face. His buddies got up to defend him.

Goldie, living in a saloon all her life, knew that this wasn’t going to end soon nor in a good way.

Goldie needed to act fast. Goldie took her hand and ran like a crazy into one of the dressers of the dancers and when she thought they were safe, she let her go and sighed. There were screams and the sound of things breaking outside the door.

“I guess that doesn’t happen in the country you came from.” She tried to make conversation.

The girl laughed. “Pfft, nada que ver. In Spain esa mierda happens too all the time. I really hate it. So I will never shut up about it until people understand that they can’t just accept that. Thanks for getting me out of there.”

Goldie put a wild strain in order, nervous out of nowhere. “Thanks for defending me.”

“What’s your name, anyway?”

“Golden O’Gilt. I’m the owners’ daughter, but everybody just calls me Goldie around here.”

“It’s a pleasure, Goldie. I’m Victoria del Valle Flores Silva, my parents call me Toya.”

“Toya?” It sounded weird in her tongue. Why would someone be called Toy-ia? Where did it come from? From Victoria? How?

“No, no. Oh por Dios, no.” Victoria laughed, snorting even. “To-Ya.” Goldie tried again but she didn’t seem to get it right. “Better drop it, just call me Victoria, it’s probably easier and my parents are the only ones that call me Toya anyways.”

Goldie felt curious. “How did you did that? I mean, fighting. I have never seen a woman fight like you before, I mean, except for slaps and pulling hair. You fought like a man out there.”

“I fought as people should fight, that was everything. Papá teach me how. I could show you, it’s not that hard.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, punch those nasty men into oblivion. Let the lady lead. Work for yourself!”

Goldie laughed immediately and when it subsided, she smiled at her. Victoria corresponded, and from then on, they decided they liked each other enough to keep a friendship.

It was a good one.

But one day, the irrepressible desire to kiss Victoria came to Goldie like an avalanche after hanging out with her around town. Funnily enough, it came with the most simple of things, Victoria was just smiling with her lips glossed over for some berries juice they just ate, and her lips looked kissable. Goldie definitely wanted to do that. She didn’t do it at the moment but if she learned something from Victoria was that women could do as much as men in desires and wishes.

Goldie would just wait for her opportunity to do her wish.

They encountered themselves alone a lot of times after that, but it never seemed to be the correct moment for Goldie anyways, so she kept waiting. She kept waiting even when Victoria gave her flowers or when she kissed her cheek or when she held her hand around the town for all the world to see. Even when Victoria’s eyes flew to Goldie’s lips sometimes.

Goldie waited for her opportunity until the day of the deadline arrived.

Victoria needed to go back to Spain. Goldie felt like crying that day.

Goldie promised that she wouldn’t let anyone step down on her. That if men could have whatever they wanted, so could she. And that she would find a way to see her again. Victoria just smiled, she seemed to be amused by her naivety, but accepted anyways and kissed her cheek again before going to the cart and not coming back ever again.

Sadly enough, the last promise, she couldn’t keep it in time.

She fell in love again with another person anyway so it didn’t matter, Goldie thought with slightly less remorse that she should feel, she guessed. The image of a Scottish duck with proudness in his smile and hardworking hands touching her hips passing through her mind.

But the desire, her wish for Victoria, remained.

.

Goldie thought reincarnation was overrated.

“You have the right to remain silent…”

Goldie even thought it was bullshit.

“…Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…”

She had lived for a long time and not once she had met a person that resembled her past.

“…You have the right to an attorney…”

Her parents? Dead. Her friends? Dead. Her employees in Blackjack? Very, Very Dead.

“…If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you…”

The only person in her past that remained the same was Scrooge and that was because he wasn’t, you know, dead. That was not the case anymore, apparently.

“Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

“Victoria?” The name escaped her beak before she could think about it. The woman behind her putting the cuffs raised a brow and looked at her with a confused expression. This was not Victoria, this woman couldn’t be Victoria.

Her eyes were the same. Her hair was the same even if it was shorter. Her feathers were the same. Her posture was too. But this woman could not beVictoria.

Victoria was dead too.

“Find a good synonym for that and maybe you will hit the nail, ma’am. For now, you’re arrested.”

.

“Don’t make it harder than it needs to be, Miss…”

“Goldie O’Gilt.”

“Ms. O’Gilt. I’m going to ask again. What were your intentions in that casino with Mr. McQueen?”

“Well, now that’s embarrassing, one doesn’t go asking about people’s personal lives.”

“Ma’am, you drugged him.”

“Oh, I did? Now, that’s what you said. Maybe we were having a complicate foreplay and you’re just meddling.”

The woman sighed, she looked like she was just going to hit her head against the wall. Goldie wanted to laugh, but she needed to concentrate on getting out of these handcuffs first. Thanks to however invented hairclips. “Don’t make me lose my patience.”

“You never were really patient, anyways.”

“You keep talking like you know me and it’s freaking me out. Just stop.”

“Look, Victoria-.”

“I’m not Victoria, I don’t know who is that person but I can assure you that you’re confused, ma’am. Please, just answer the questions already.”

Goldie shrugged. Ok, maybe there was the tiny little possibility that this woman wasn’t really Victoria, even when she was identical. Or maybe she lost her memories about who she really was or was just fucking with her or changed her name or just downright forgot about Goldie. That last possibility left her heart aching.

Or maybe she was her reincarnation.

No, reincarnation was bullshit.

The officer sighed again and looked at her, and for a millisecond Goldie saw it. A spark of something that equal women and men and people, in general, looked in her at some point.

Attraction. Oh, yes, she could work with that.

The officer sat down, giving her just a look of her profile, an elbow leaning on the table and her hand massaging her temple. Her brows were furrowed, her eyes with dark circles closed and she looked terribly tired. Likely caused by a long day at work and probably because Goldie was not cooperating at all. All that translated to Goldie in a weaker state, she could hit that.

“You seem stressed, officer.”

“It’s hard not to be while working with such a difficult person, Ms. O’Gilt.”

“Maybe I could help with that.”

The woman seemed to react a little but laughed. “If I wanted that type of help, I would get it in a person that didn’t have the habit of drugging men to rob them or whatever the hell you were going to do with him. Thanks but no thanks.”

Great, an officer with good ethics at work. Exactly what she didn’t need.

“Please, stop going around in circles, Ms. O’Gilt. Tell me why you did it, it can’t get worse than you drugging a man in a casino.”

Goldie rolled her eyes. She decided to give her something at least before escaping in another way. “I just needed some money. Men can be idiots sometimes, a cute look and they think they have you at their mercy. Especially men that like casinos, beer, and prostitutes. I’m used to those.”

“Well, not gonna fight that logic. And now we’re getting somewhere. For what did you need the money, Ms. O’Gilt?” Now, she faced her, both elbows on the table, hands joined and leaning at her. The officer was regaining confidence. Goldie heard a little click from behind her and smiled to herself. It was such a tragedy that Goldie needed to take that confidence away.

“Oh, sorry, about that I can’t tell you. I really need to go now.”

“What?”

Goldie got up and jumped to the table to attack her, a hard clang from the handcuffs hitting the ground resound around the interrogation room. The officer reacted fast, getting up from the chair in record time and pulling her gun out, but Goldie kicked the gun out of her grasp and took it. The woman went immediately to grab something in her back but Goldie pointed the gun at her head.

“Don’t.” She stopped immediately, visible gulped and sweated, looking at Goldie in a conflicting way. A hand in her back and an angry stare. “We both know it’s going to get ugly if you get that second gun out, officer.”

“Maldición…”

Goldie laughed. “What, you thought that because I let my guard down back there when you catch me in the casino that I wasn’t a fighter?” The officer tsked, too aware of the gun pointing at her. “Empty your pockets and pass me that other gun too, officer. When you are done, put your hands where I can see them. You know, up, up.”

The woman grumbled but did as she was told. She threw on the ground her gun, her badge, two sets of keys, probably one from her house and the other for the interrogation room, and her wallet. Then put her hands up. She looked even madder.

Goldie took the wallet and started inspecting it. Her I.D. said “Gloria Cabrera” born in 19–, so this wasn’t Victoria. Maybe, it was just a duck that looked like her (or her reincarnation, a traitorous voice sang in the back of her mind). Goldie didn’t give up. She found a photo while looking for other things that maybe could mean that this was Victoria after all. She got it out, she thought maybe it was something that could prove her point.

Oh, how wrong she was.

“Is this your son?” Goldie felt incredulous. Victoria didn´t want children. Nothing of this made any sense (no, it did, because she was not Victoria).

“Yes, he is…the love of my life.” Her voice sounded so soft out of nowhere, all her “bad police” persona left her in a moment. She looked completely different in less than a second. A doting mother who loved her son and was scared of leaving him alone. “He is probably waiting for his mamá to come home. Please, don’t do this. I want to see my baby.”

Goldie knew what she was doing. Manipulation. Oh, how much she hated that it was actually working. She wasn’t lying, she could hear the adoration and love pouring from her words but she wasn’t saying those things out of the good of her heart. She was saying it so the criminal would feel sorry for her and let her go. It wasn’t like she was really going to shoot her but now she almost felt bad about this, for making her believe that she was going to do it for real. Fuck the police, honestly. Fuck this officer in specific.

Well, now that wasn’t a bad idea.

Goldie left the photo on the table and started to walk towards the woman. She looked defeated. No, that wasn’t true. She looked accepting, she didn’t move, she didn’t break eye contact either. The strong police officer she met earlier came back full force. She stood her ground even when her hands seemed to tremble slightly from the effort of leaving them up. If she was going to die, she would die prideful, her posture seemed to say. Goldie stopped walking when the gun touched the officer’s chest. She closed her eyes for a second but opened them rapidly, still looking at her, still waiting for Goldie to make her move.

Goldie knew what she wanted to do, but for the second time in her life, she felt kind of lost in the decision of doing it or not. She couldn’t have Victoria in her moment, a Victoria that looked and presented herself like this officer in front of her. Strong and stubborn, full of confidence but humble too, that loved so much that was kind of overbearing at times.

Maybe this was the opportunity her younger self had been waiting for.

And if it wasn’t, she didn’t give a damn.

She was Goldie O’Gilt, she didn’t wait for opportunities anymore. She made them if it was necessary and she took them without letting go of even one bit. She could have this, if she didn’t have it when she was younger, maybe she could have it now. Goldie O’Gilt took what she wanted, this woman was no exception.

Goldie dropped the gun and hold Gloria’s face into her hands and kissed her. The officer kept still without moving an inch, her eyes were wide open, surprised. Goldie decided to close her eyes and imagined Victoria with her glossed berry’s lips kissing her back.

She didn’t expect the officer to do it anyways.

“Maldita sea.” She heard a whisper mumbled into her beak and before she could process it, two hands gripped her hips and turned her into the wall, but where Goldie expected a fist fight, she found a body pressing her into the wall even harder and a beak kissing her like she was going to kiss her soul.

She hadn’t had a kiss like this since, well, the Klondike. A kiss that made her want friction, that made her hands look for support. A kiss that ate her inside out. She wanted to put her legs around her waist and sink her fingers into her shoulder blades. So, she did it. Gloria seemed to kiss her even harder when she did. Her hands moving from her hips to her waist but never outside of that range but Gloria obviously wanted to do more, she felt it when she would grip a little tighter when her hands seemed to go a little farther. Goldie wanted to tell her she could do more if she wanted.

“I thought you said you wouldn’t kiss someone like me?” She said instead. Goldie felt completely breathless, her breathing labored and difficult. A younger Goldie was almost having a party in her mind.

“I’m having a really stressful day and you had been particularly annoying about it.” She sounded enraged, completely done with the situation. She knew a man that sounded like that sometimes with her. Maybe she had a type after all.

I need to go out of this city before he knows I’m here, now that I think about it. That’s why I needed the money.

“Who is going to know? Did you try to scam other men apart from the one in the hotel?” Uh, oh, she said that out loud.

“Aw, don’t be jealous, Victoria, sweetie.”

“Look, you keep calling me that and I keep telling you. That. Is. Not. My. Name.”

“What’s your name then?”

“Gloria Cabrera.”

“Gloria, huh?”

She already knew it, but it was still amusing to know that this was not, in fact, Victoria. She was definitely dead. She didn’t change her name nor did she lost her memories. What a thing was this reincarnation business.

“Victoria-.”

“I just told you-!”

“I will see you around.”

“Wh-?”

Goldie kissed her again, a hand on Gloria’s neck pulling her into the kiss.

For Gloria, everything faded to black in an instant.

.

“Cabrera! Gloria, please, wake up!”

Gloria started to blink, the light of the ceiling hurting her eyes a little. “¿Que coño…?”

“Oh, she waked up.”

Her partner was looking at her relieved. Gloria sat up, her head hurt. Her hand went to her neck, the last place where she felt something before she blacked out. “What the hell happened?”

“Well, we would like to ask you that, because when we entered the room you were completely unconscious on the floor, all your things were there too. What happened?”

“What happened to Goldie?” she asked instead, not prepared to think about what happened in the room. She got up, walking outside the room to the hallway to see the damage that Goldie left behind.

Her partner in front of her pointed at the end of the hallway with a funny smile, Gloria followed the direction. A “¿qué carajos?” trespassed her lips when she saw one of the windows completely broken, someone had jumped out probably.

“How the fuck she did that?”

“No idea. When we went to see how the interrogation was going, the window was already broken and you were on the floor. But, seriously, what happened?”

“Yes, Cabrera, What happened?”

That was her boss. He didn’t look happy at all, not even to see her well and conscious.

“Uh…” she couldn’t say, ‘we kind of made out in the interrogation room and then she took the opportunity to knock me the fuck out.’ Yeah, no, it sounded pretty lame and extremely unethical. So, she said almost everything but left out the part where she almost ravaged Goldie O’Gilt on the table of the interrogation room. She felt happy that in a way that was 90% of the truth.

Her boss didn’t look so happy. Mierda. “Do you at least have her name, Cabrera?”

“Goldie O’Gilt, sir. That’s the name.”

Her boss paled. Well, that was an interesting reaction. “You did a good job, Cabrera. She could have done worse.”

“Wait, boss, what do you mean?”

“Goldie O’Gilt is a force to be reckoned with. I’m actually surprised that this disaster is the only thing she left behind. Look, kids, she is at least 140 years old, do you understand what I’m saying? 140 years of knowledge, that woman is impossible to get.”

“What the fuck?”

“¡Imposible!”

“Nah, there are rumors that said that Scrooge McDuck is the same. But well, I need to go to do some paperwork for that fucking window and for the “Glittering Goldie” archive. You did well, Cabrera. I’m glad you’re alive.” And he left just like that.

I’m glad you’re alive, that sounded horribly ominous.

“140 years old, can you believe that?”

“Yeah, sounds surreal.”

Well, yes, it sounded pretty fucking surreal that she made out with a woman that didn’t look older than 40 years but was at least 140 years old. At least, she repeated in her mind, trying to comprehend it. Maybe that was why she was such a good kisser. She decided she was going to go home at that moment and her partner just accepted it, telling her he would do the paperwork left. She thanked him with all her might, making her partner laugh at her.

She was so extremely tired.

The only thing she wanted to do now was to go home, cuddle with his son while watching Patito Feo and make some tea for the first time in her entire life.

She entered the interrogation room and took her things. She put her badge on, took both her guns, her house’s keys. Her wallet was intact, Goldie even put the photo of Fenton back.

She did leave a disaster behind her, she thought. Freaking woman.

Damn, she definitely needed a nap too after all this.

I just remembered I didn’t upload this fanfic to Tumblr (i actually have a lot of fanfics that I want to upload to tumblr lmao, im just lazy) so, now that i actually have the second and third part almost ready of this au i decided to do it now. Hope you like it! please reblog and comment smthing if you did (in the tags or in the notes whatever im not picky lol) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

[amemericans]

what anime recs do you have an anime n00b

under a read more because the list is long and we added extra commentary because we’re just that extra

anon i hope you’re happy exposing us for the weebs that we are

j’s sidenote: i usually read more manga but fortunately, some of the ones i read have anime!! 

Shoujo

Cardcaptor Sakura

J: if you’re looking for a magical girl type of anime, this is it!!! kinomoto sakura is precious i hope you love her and her lesbian best friend tomoyo. please don’t watch the US dub “cardcaptors”…it’s an insult.

Yona of the Dawn / Akatsuki no Yona

J: sheltered princess gets kicked out of the castle, is involved in a prophecy, and then lots of action because why not? also i love yona 

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-Kun (GSNK) / Monthly Girl’s Nozaki-Kun

J: even if you say you’re an anime n00b, you probably have an understanding of shoujo tropes. too bad this breaks all the stereotypes!! it’ll make you laugh, i guarantee. characters are as clueless as hoshi is with technology and i’m sure all of them will never be in a relationship.

Ao Haru Ride / Blue Spring Ride

J: if GSNK breaks all the shoujo tropes, this one has all of them!!!! even so, it’s still pretty good- i bet you woozi can make a song or two from this anime (though i know his main muse will be full moon wo sagashite- also a good anime!)

Orange

J: slice-of-life anime about a group of friends who try to save one of their own. prepare tissues.

Ouran High School Host Club

J: if you love seventeen and their dynamic, you’ll love this too!! shoutout to my girl haruhi for dealing with all of the host club’s shit.

Your Lie in April

V: A male pianist and a female violinist play music together. also prepare tissues…you’ll understand the meaning of the anime title at the very last episode lol.

Ore Monogatari / My Love Story

J: this is…really…the purest love story…you just have to watch it, seriously…it’s as pure as seventeen adore u, mansae, and pretty u eras

Sports

Haikyuu!! (a personal fav of seventeen!)

J: be prepared to binge watch this because i know i did!! it’s a heartwarming story with lots of nicely-placed (and not forced) comedy. but i mean, it’s volleyball. **seungkwan endorses it**

Kuroko no Basuke

J: has the most cliche shit in a sports anime (i’ve watched like 5 sports anime so idk how accurate this statement is). friendship!!! teamwork!!! ridiculous basketball powers!!! but we can overcome everything when we work hard!!!

Yuuri On Ice!!!

J: ice skating anime. VERY GAY. no queerbaiting here- it’s GAY AS FUCK. you really have to admire and root for our main boy yuuri here though. he is truly a precious katsudon

Chihayafuru

J: at first glace, it MAY look like shoujo, but our main girl chihaya over here is 120% focused on karuta. because who needs boys who are in an unrequited love with you right?? still has the power of friendship and teamwork, which is always a must in sports anime!!

Shounen

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

J: personally picking this over the earlier version of FMA only because this follows more closely to the canon (manga) storyline. it really does have a wonderful storyline with rich characters and great development and you’ll feel satisfied with the story when you finish it

Hunter x Hunter (2011 but i have a soft spot for the older ver too)

J: this one has a little bit of everything: friendship, teamwork, sports, magical abilities, ~family~ (the main 4 are family don’t fight me on this), beautifully written characters, great storylines, a creepy ass clown,

Bungou Stray Dogs

J: um joshua personally recommended this so you should watch it. MC works in a detective agency that has staff with *abilities*. definitely lots of action. fun fact: the characters are named after famous people in literature and their abilities are named after their work! the first arc of season 2 is a personal favorite of mine

Code Geass

J: basically tells the story of a revolution against the current government. our main boy here, (sometimes douchey) lelouche pretty much leads the revolution accompanied by an ability he acquired- his geass. very mecha and has fighting robots action!!

Death Note

J: an even bigger douche than lelouche, light yagami is out to reform the current justice system by taking it upon himself to play god. someone give him an oscar for his performance honestly this bitch really knows how to act

My Hero Academy

V: high school students with super powers and they go to school to learn how to become heroes! easily became one of my favorite shounen anime. every student is precious except that one grape-looking dude

Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan

J: we have another hot-blooded male protagonist over here!!! my boy eren just has a simple dream- to kill all the titans that ever existed because they ruined his life!!! is it really too much to ask for?

One Punch Man

J: this follows the story of saitama, who just wants to be a hero and save people’s lives. he’s bored because, well, he’s overpowered. you’ll get a lot of laughs here, definitely

Tokyo Ghoul (the whole show censored the gore but you can find the uncensored version too)

V: Ghouls basically look like humans but their diet is limited to humans and coffee only (they can’t eat human food). The ghouls need to kill humans to eat but humans want to live so they fight back. It shows the story of both sides so you feel sorry for both of them lol…and so my boy kaneki just wanted to go on a date but his life turned upside down after that.

Noragami

J: we’re dealing with the supernatural this time! my girl hiyori suddenly becomes involved with the gods, which is kind of awesome but also awful. also the gods are so very human in the sense that they cause so much shit. you probably don’t want them ruling your planet or something

Parasyte: Maxim

J: in this world, there’s an organism/parasite that invades your body and takes over it, killing you instantly. sometimes, things don’t go as planned, and the parasite and the human have to coexist, guess what happens to our main character….

Psycho Pass

J: in a dystopian future, there’s a technology that actually predicts your probability of becoming a criminal/endangering humanity. that technology in itself is already the problem….

Moribito

V: set in a fantasy, historical Asia. my girl Balsa can easily beat up 1000 men while guarding a child prince. interesting plot, beautiful animation, and an amazing main character!!

D.Gray Man

J: hey there demons, it’s me, ya exorcist!!! demon-hunting adventures with lots of friendship in between and you’ll fall in love with these character i swear!! a+ humor as well honestly i love these kids

Blue Exorcist

V: hey there demons, it’s me, another exorcist! half-human/half-demon boy goes to school to learn how to become an exorcist to defeat demons and most importantly: Satan

Thriller

Erased (We recommend the live action too! it follows the manga more accurately. It’son Netflix)

J: murder mystery where our MC has this ability to rewind time and fix any bad things that were about to happen. one day, he gets transported back and ends up having to figure out on who murdered one of his classmates. really keeps you on the edge of your seat and the music is spot on!!

Another

J: in a seriously haunted classroom, there’s always one extra person who had died but is present with them, every year it’s someone different and the class has to figure out on who the dead one is before……bad things…

Terror In Resonance

V: two teenage boys commit terrorist attacks on Tokyo and they somehow get a girl involved in their crimes

Movies

Kimi no Na Wa

V: JunHao’s My I was inspired by this!!! I don’t want to spoil too much, you just have to watch it! beautiful animation, beautiful characters. the story makes a lot more sense if you watch it the second time.

Studio Ghibli movies

The Girl who Leapt Through Time

[englishvisualnovels]

Inner Yearnings, Immutable Ideals, Dreams, and Reality — Sorcery Jokers Launches on MangaGamer and Steam

Note: This post includes links that may lead to NSFW content.

Developer: 3rdEye Publisher: MangaGamer Release Date: January 12, 2018 Platform: Windows Age Rating: 15+ & 18+ Price: $39.95

The 18+ version of Sorcery Jokers, a battle-action tale, is now on sale on MangaGamer for 10% off.

The all-ages version will launch on Steam later today. A free patch that adds adult content to the Steam release can be downloaded through the MangaGamer website.

MangaGamer also released an English translated version of the Sorcery Jokers opening video which can be viewed below:

Relevant Links:

Where to Buy (Digital): MangaGamer (18+ ver.), Steam (All-Ages ver.)

18+ Patch for Steam

Official Site

Promotional Video

Message from the Creator

Features, via MangaGamer:

A visual novel specialized in contemporary fantasy with lots of fights!

Full 1920x1080 HD graphics!

Experience the story from various points of view in the expansive character-swapping system.

Synopsis:

One day, all at once, magic entered the world as we know it.

Its existence was not something known in secret circles - the current government announced it publicly, leading it to quickly become common knowledge. Now, we're in an age where magic is used as a normal resource and has permeated throughout many different industries and fields around the world.

This is a story about the fates of those who live in this magical world. Read on as six radically different people find their paths converging in this new world...

Cast:

Senri An anonymous inhabitant of the city’s nightlife Voiced by: Noboru Yajima

(Known roles: Chihiro Ukawa from Grisaia: Phantom Trigger, Nakaba Hanabusa from Clock Zero ~Shuuen no Ichibyou~, Shouran Shiba from Dungeons & Daimeiwaku -Great Edges in the Abyss-, etc.)

Occupation: OutCast

A mysterious young man who operates near the entertainment district. He has many casual acquaintances and could be called sociable. When he finds time, he attempts to solve extremely difficult ring puzzles, and has a habit of only looking at things from a logical point of view. Ageha, an information broker, values his skills as a mage and sometimes has him take care of not-so-legal troubles. He has something of an elusive air, as he pays no attention to matters that don’t interest him and is always extremely frank. When he judges something to be worthwhile, however, he’ll show unusual tenacity and decisiveness in pursuing it. “I don’t imagine I’ll be able to make anything of that.”

Haruto Mutsumi Slightly half-baked, a boy who can’t turn a blind eye to wrongdoing Voiced by: Yuuji Masuoka

(Known roles: Ulrick Ritter von Weinberger from A Clockwork Ley-Line: Flowers Falling in the Morning Mist, Walther Ritz from Gahkthun of the Golden Lightning, Touichirou Azuma from Magical Eyes - Red is for anguish, etc.)

Occupation: Student (First National School for Higher Magic Education, 9th Class, Caster) A mage in his second year at the Academy. He’s cheerful, upbeat, and honest, so people tend to like him, even if he can be a bit oblivious at times. He has a strong sense of justice and he can’t walk away when he sees someone doing something wrong. He gets involved in incidents most often when it looks like people are going to get hurt, which gets him in trouble with his father Yuuji, a detective. Since they lost their mother early in life, he and his sister split the housework. His best dish is omelette rice, and he always writes the recipient’s name on it. “That’s not right. It’s not playing fair.”

Asahi Rikudou A unique girl facing trials on her way to the Land of Dreams Voiced by: Ichigo Kayama

(Known roles: Eri Miyamae from Kiss Bell, Marika von Wittelsbach from Golden Marriage, Ryouka Chibana from Kimi no Tonari de Koishiteru!, etc.)

Occupation: Student (First National School for Higher Magic Education, 9th Class, Caster) A mage who attends the Academy. In contrast to her young appearance, she has a dynamism and decisiveness to put the average adult to shame. She’s well-known at the Academy for causing commotions. She has her own set of values and is treated as an oddball by those around her for it, but that doesn’t bother her at all. Because of her cute appearance and odd behavior, she’s got a cult following among the boys of the Academy. She’s a strong person who never doubts herself, but she’s also got an unusually pure heart, and sometimes misses her family, whom she can no longer see. She believes in the existence of a ”Land of Dreams” and has made reaching it her ultimate goal. She believes that trials she must overcome to reach this land are recorded in the diary she’s always carrying around. “I won’t be asking you for help. These are my trials, after all.”

Riku Atori The daughter of a huge company’s CEO, who’s not quite on the same wavelength as others her age Voiced by: Ringo Aoba

(Known roles: Amy March from Gahkthun of the Golden Lightning -What a Radiant Brave-, Benkei Musashibou from Eiyuu*Senki, Nemu Manaka from euphoria, etc.)

Occupation: Student (First National School for Higher Magic Education, 10th Class, Caster) The daughter of Atori, the company that manufactures Magi-related goods. She’s a tester of the products Atori develops, specifically of first-rate goods. Since she’s been continually surrounded by adults from a young age, she doesn’t have much in common with other teenagers and her tastes are like those of an old man. She doesn’t let anything bother her and she has a tendency to be logical about things, so she’s more composed than Haruto even though he’s older than her. She doesn’t have any friends at the Academy, but she’s casual with the people she’s close to. Of course, that’s pretty much just one person: Akeno, an employee at Atori. 

“Well, if they don’t need to do anything, that’s probably for the best.”

Fiona Annabel Kousaki The moral center of the local church, her smile never goes out Voiced by: Homi Momoi

(Known roles: Jack from Cho Dengeki Stryker, Fumirul from Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth, Minori Hosaka from Aokana: Four Rhythm Across the Blue, etc.) Occupation: Apprentice Sister A sister with a beautiful smile who works at the church. She’s meek and cheerful and works hard. She takes care of all of the clerical work by herself and is always busy with something or other. Not only do all the parishioners love her, she’s on good terms with the vigilantes who hang around the church too. Father Gaimon appreciates the natural, calming effect she has on her surroundings, but she can also be a little immature at times. The melancholic smiles she sometimes lets slip have stolen many a heart. She’s fond of sweet things and cats (particularly their paw pads). “Let’s do our best again today!”

Noah A girl spotted on Agartha Voiced by: Hana Anzu

(Known roles: Ayumi Murai from Bible Black, Ren Ese from the Ne no Kami: The Two Princess Knights of Kyoto series, Reo Kawamura from A Kiss for the Petals - Maidens of Michael, etc.)

Occupation: Unknown A supernatural phenomenon that’s constantly the topic of discussion on occult message boards. Since she only appears during the frequent power outages, there are rumors that she’s the vengeful spirit of someone who was electrocuted on a power line, but no one knows the real truth. She isn’t something just based on mere rumor; more photographical proof and witness testimonies lending credence to her existence are surfacing every day. “.........”

[girlxfriday-blog]

just let ‘em talk about it

I’m just gonna use my lil tumblr as a platform to talk about something. so, I joined SKAM fandom recently, one of my best friends who I met through a different fandom six years ago advised me to try SKAM. she warned me about how.. shaming... the fandom can be. I joined after we watched S3 together by writing a ABO fic which I ended up being quite proud of, considering I’ve only ever wrote for kinkmemes before, not multichaptered ‘proper’ fics. I also felt I explored ABO dynamics well, writing Isak as an omega who comes to embrace being an omega but very much being his own person, independent, intelligent, and Even as an empathetic, sensitive yet strong alpha. I certainly didn’t want to ‘police’ myself but it was important to me to consider how it might be to be an omega or an alpha in a ABO AU. Thankfully, no one ‘came’ for me the way some people have experienced in SKAM. The worst comments I got were from people who don’t like multishipping, which, ok, that’s your choice to not read anything except straight up Even/Isak.

My real bugbear is to do with the ever-difficult top and bottom discourse, always something that causes issues in fandom but it is quite strange in SKAM. Tops and bottoms exist in LGBT relationships and LGBT culture. This may be something tumblr wants to pretend doesn’t exist because it ‘forces gender norms’ or w/e, but as someone who has spent a lot of time on U.K gay scenes with gay and queer men, in London, Liverpool, Manchester, Sheffield, Nottingham… it exists. It’s totally ok for a guy to identify as a top or a bottom. They’re not being oppressed by gender norms by doing so. It’s healthy and normal if a queer guy chooses to do this, just as it’s healthy and normal if they choose not to. This fandom is young, sure, so I totally get that people may have very limited experience of sex, particularly LGBT sex, especially LGBT and queer men’s sexual lives and experiences, because the majority of those in the fandom are female but it does bother and worry me that young, perhaps sexually inexperienced women are acting as moral police over a very common, very significant part of LGBT culture such as sexual identities. As a hardened, older, 80% lesbian, 20% pansexual mess with friends of every persuasion, many nights and sometimes mornings spent in gay bars, gay villages, gay communities, with queer men, and women, and everyone in between… let me tell you, it’s ABSOLUTELY ok for someone to be solely a top or solely a bottom, as fine as it is for someone to be versatile…

…not only that, but think about it. If you feel it’s ‘unfair’ for someone to be portrayed solely as a bottom, think about why that is. Is it because you see bottoming as less? Unequal? Not as ‘strong’ as a top? What’s so bad about bottoms and bottoming? The answer is: not one single thing. Being a bottom doesn’t make you weak, doesn’t mean you have less power in the relationship, doesn’t make you lesser or more feminine… and if you are attributing ‘femininity’ to your bottom, upset that someone writes a character solely as a bottom, are we saying that all women and any man who chooses to be penetrated during sex is somehow ‘less’ because of that? It’s extremely misogynistic. So, yeah, I like bottom Isak, and I’ll write bottom Isak, and I’ll read it, that’s my choice and I make no apologies for my preference to view Isak in that way. I couldn’t care less if someone wishes to headcanon, view and write Isak as vers or a top, cool, go for it sweetheart. I will never hate on you for that or make shitty comments on that topic but I expect not to receive shitty comments myself, to be able to enjoy fandom how I wish, without being made to feel like I’m somehow perpetuating gender norms by choosing to use these labels and do so without shame.

I’m aware a while ago when there were photos coming out online of Tarjei looking super buff I tweeted, jokingly, that I’d never write top Isak, regardless of how buff and ~heterosexual~ Tarjei is/appears to be… that was a point I was making, that just because someone is muscular and tall or whatever doesn’t equate to them being a top, being a top or a bottom is a preference, not a characteristic and it’s ridiculous to assume people are something from the way they look. I’ve been targeted myself because of how I look, questions about my sexuality, intrusive questions, being told I’m a liar, I’m a straight girl, how could I possibly be a lesbian? Yet 9 times out of 10, it’s a girl I’m taking home, not a guy even if I don’t ‘look’ gay. I’m also writing fic about Isak, not Tarjei, so it doesn’t matter if Tarjei is the prettiest twink in the world or the most muscular, masc presenting guy ever. It’s Isak I choose to write about.

I get that it’s cool to go against the grain, and sure, I accept that bottom!Isak is much more widely written than the alternative which must be frustrating if you prefer top!Isak but don’t use that to bring down bottom!Isak, using sociological discourse to prove a point when really, it is just a sexual preference. No one is better than the other or worse than the other for their preference of their depiction of Isak. I will champion bottom!Isak, submissive!Isak, because it’s my preference, but I will never bring down top!Isak or dominant!Isak authors, tweeters, posters, because you don’t need to tear something down to big something else up.

[wishedraven]

...SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG...

Tagged by @markhyuck-is-real-af thanks again sis!!

RULES: You must answer this 92 statements and tag 20 people. Damn that's a lot of people for my shy ass

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: Fruit juice

2. PHONE CALL: One of my bff to bake some brownies for our other bff

3. TEXT MESSAGE: Again to the same bff talking about the arrival of one of our friends which I won't be able to see:(((

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: LOTTO(remix)-Seventeen

5. TIME YOU CRIED: At DISNEYLAND PARIS WITH MY BFFS WATCHING THE SPECTACLE OF LIGHTS GDI SO BEAUTIFUL

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: I've never dated so

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: I've never kissed either

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: A little bit difficult

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes:(

10. BEN DEPRESSED: Not really depressed just sad a lot

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: I'm the only one of my friends who knows how to handle alcohol so never;)

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

12-14: Blue, pink, purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yep quite a lot

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: I only love my fam, friends...

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yup

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE TALKING ABOUT YOU: Yup my friends are terrible at surprise parties...

19. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: Yup

20. KISSED SOMEONE OF YOUR FACEBOOK: Nope

GENERAL:

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: ALL

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: No:(

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: I LOVE MY NAME SO NOPE

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: I went to a party with my bffs and my belgian correspondent, i had soooo much fun

26. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP: Veeery late 11-12 unless I have something to do

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Reading fanfics in general

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN´T WAIT FOR: Going on vacations and seeing my friends ITS BEEN A WHOLE YESR!!!

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: RN she is behind me with my grandma, they don't know english so the coast is clear

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: My shyness, its so tiring

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RN: Love Paint-Nu'est

32. HAVE YOU VER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Nope

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: THIS CAUSE I DONT KNOW HOE O UCKIG TYPE1!!

34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Tumblr, this bitch

35. ELEMENTARY: Finished

36. HIGH SCHOOL: Last year

37. COLLEGE: Not yet

38. HAIRCOLOUR: Dark blonde

39. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Long

40. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: If idols and people who don't exist count then yes

41. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I'm very loyal, once I'm your friend I'll stick with you till the end of the world unless you do me dirty

42. PIERCINGS: Just the typical earrings

43. BLOODTYPE: A+ I think

44. NICKNAME: Nallino(mama nallino), Nai, Nalli...

45. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: As single as a pringle ;D

46. PRONOUNS: She/her

47. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: Game of Thrones

48. TATOOS: None

49. RIGHT OR LEFT: Right handed

50. SURGERY: Nope

51. PIERCNGS: Already answered

52. SPORT: I'm pretty good at any sport with a raquet or however you say it, baseball and swimming

53. VACATION: Guardamar del Segura ala a ver que haceis con esta info :D

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: Adidas?

MORE GENERAL:

55. EATING: I LOVE CHOCOLATE

56. DRINKING: *wild Joshua appears* DRINK WATER!:D im so funny

57. I'M ABOUT TO: Dance while making weird faces thats moi

58. WAITING FOR: Going to Guardamar

59. WANT: To meet all my internet friends in real life

60. GET MARRIED: I've always wanted to get married

61. CAREER: International relations

WHICH IS BETTER:

62. HUGS OR KISSES: I like hugs

63. LIPS OR EYES: The eyes are the windows to the soul(spanish saying)

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: I don't care I like both

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: I don't care either, I'm the oldest most of the time but I'm used to both

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: TF, I don't really pay attention to that, my friends are normally like hey look at those arms Nalli and I'm like oh aha, so yeah be nice and I like you

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: Both but a little bit more sensitive

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: Relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Depends on the situation, friends hesitant, cousins troublemaker(Uxue queridaaa)

HAVE YOU EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: Nope

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: A sip

72. LOST GLASSES/LENSES: Nope

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Twice

74. SEX IN THE FIRST DATE: I'M PURE HOW DARE YOU

75. BROKE SOMEONE'S HEART: Sure hope not

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: Quite a lot of times

77. BEEN ARRESTED: *sigh* PUREEEEE

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Yes

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: YES AND SHE IS STRAIGHT THANK GOD IT PASSED

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: Sometimes

81. MIRACLES: I'm an atheist so not really

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Well I believe that love is something that grows with time, but attraction at first sight

83. SANTA CLAUS: Where I live its Los Reyes Magos ad El Olentzero, but no

84. KISS IN THE FIRST DATE: Depends on the person I guess

85. ANGELS: I've met plenty of them<3

OTHER:

86. CURRENT BFF NAME: Helen, Ana, Raquelx2, Pearlie, Isabelle, Estela, Athena(we need to start talking again:(()...

87. EYECOLOUR: Dark brown

88. FAVOURITE MOVIE: SPIRIT THE STALLION OF THE CIMARRON OMG I LOOOVE IT

THIS IS A LIE THEY ARE NOT 92

I'M TAGGING: @ultswenjunhui @viralvernon @uxuuutxu @suga-trash-queen @haechico 

and thats it cause Tumblr wont let me tag more people, whats wrong wth it nowadasy??

[healthnotion]

How to Deal With Going Gray

Six years ago, I was 30 and had a healthy, thick, wavy black mane.

Today I’m 36 and half my hair is gray and wiry.

My son, Gus, was looking at a picture of me from when I was 30 and asked: “Dad, how did you get so old, so fast?”

Great question, son.

Going gray didn’t happen overnight. I remember spotting a few gray strands in my late twenties. A few years later, I saw some more. Then one day I woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw as much salt as pepper.

I’ve never freaked out about going gray and have never thought about dyeing my hair back to its youthful color. Even in high school my friends described me as grandpa-like, and I actually always looked forward to getting older.

But while I’ve never worried about going gray, I have been curious about it.

What caused me to go gray at such a relatively young age? Was it stress? Genetics? A combination of both?

And now that I have gray hair, do I need to do anything different with my hair care and grooming to make it look its best?

To answer those questions, as well as get the scoop on dyeing your hair for those men who’ve considered it, I did some research and talked to Thad Forrester, owner of Hudson Hawk Barber Shops.

Why Does Hair Go Gray?

Each one of your hairs grows out of a hair follicle, and each follicle contains cells called melanocytes. Melanocytes produce two types of pigments, or colors: eumelanin, which is dark brown or black, and pheomelanin, which is reddish yellow. Eumelanin and pheomelanin blend together to give you your hair color. (Dermatologists will often refer to eumelanin and pheomelanin simply as “melanin.”)

When melanocytes in the hair follicle start to die, the strand of hair gets less melanin as it grows and takes on a more transparent color. Gray hair is hair that’s still getting a bit of melanin, but not enough to lend the hair its youthful hue. White hair is hair that’s not getting any melanin at all. Once a melanocyte cell dies, there’s no resurrecting it — it’s dead forever, and it will never produce melanin again. Barring some breakthrough in bioengineering (or dyeing your hair), once hair goes gray, it’s gray for good.

Besides giving hair its color, melanin also helps make hair smooth and lush. Consequently, gray, melanin-deprived hair often gets a wiry or coarse texture and it becomes increasingly difficult to style and manage.

So that’s the mechanism behind hair going gray — its pigment-producing cells die. But what causes those melanin cells to expire in the first place?

Scientists don’t really know.

Age certainly plays a factor and is of course why we associate going gray with getting old. As you get older, all of your body’s cells start to die and malfunction, including the cells that make hair color.

But some people go gray sooner and some people keep their color well into old age.

What gives?

There’s a popular theory that stress causes people to go gray. To bolster this argument, you’ll often see side-by-side pictures of American presidents the day they started their term and the day they ended their term. The President of the United States is arguably one of the most stressful jobs a person could have, so if a man grays considerably during his administration, we figure it was the stress that caused it, right?

Well, maybe. And maybe not. While there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that stress causes people to go gray, scientific studies that have looked into the matter have been mixed. There’s some evidence to suggest that stress hormones could disrupt melanin being delivered to your hair strands, which would cause it to go gray, but again, it’s not conclusive. With the graying of presidents’ hair, it could just be a function of getting older; 8 years is a fairly long time, after all.

So stress may or may not play a role in when you go gray. The most significant factor, according to science, is likely your genetics. If your parents went gray at a young age, then the chances of you going gray young are increased.

So what do you do when you start going gray yourself? Should you dye your hair? If you don’t dye it, do you have to change anything with your hair care? Let’s explore those questions. 

Should You Dye Your Gray Hair?

To dye or not to dye. That is the question.

Graying hair is less disconcerting to men than losing hair, and unlike Western women, who are pressured to maintain their youthful looks, and hair color, for as long as possible, we males generally have the luxury of letting the aging process take its natural course. Gray hair is distinguished on a man. It makes him look wise, seasoned, and sometimes even sexy.  

But if you’re in your 20s and 30s, gray hair can feel like it’s prematurely taking the sheen off this last season of youthful virility. And an older man who works in a youth-driven industry, or is back on the dating scene after being divorced or widowed, may also feel pressure to look less stodgy. If you fall into these categories and/or simply feel the desire to dye your hair, keep the following considerations in mind:

If there are just a few spots of gray on your head — like at your temples — you might consider dyeing only those patches with something like Just for Men AutoStop. With this kind of product, you don’t have to dye all of your hair (though you can), just the parts that are going gray. It’s relatively easy to use (you just comb it in and let it sit for 10 minutes before you shower), and it lasts for up to 8 weeks.

If you’re already pretty salt and peppery and you want to color all of your hair, do so gradually. If you go from George Clooney to Keanu Reeves overnight, people are going to notice. To gradually color your hair back to a more youthful color, try something like Just for Men Control GX which is hair dye in a shampoo; as you use it over the course of a month, more and more of your gray is colored, and you can stop once you’ve achieved the desired effect.

A lot of men’s drugstore/DIY hair dyes don’t actually cover all of your gray, and that’s okay; it can look more natural to still have some showing.

The downside of off-the-shelf/DIY hair coloring products, especially if you’re dyeing all your hair and want close to 100% gray coverage, is that you’re limited in the colors you can choose from. As Thad explains, “Natural hair colors and tones are extremely varied, but [men’s] color dyeing products give you like four color options to choose from — black, dark brown, light brown, and blonde. If you color with a product like that, it’s not going to match your natural hair color and things are going to look off.” When your hair’s a monotone color, it looks flat and fake, like you rubbed your hair with shoe polish.

Thad says if you truly want a better-looking end result, you need to visit a professional who specializes in hair color: “The reason women look great when they color their hair and men typically look bad is because women pay a professional a lot of of money to make it look as natural as possible, while a man will typically opt for the DIY approach. Professional hair colorers can do a better job of matching natural hair color compared to what you can get out of a box.” Traditional barbers typically aren’t trained in hair coloring, so you’ll need to visit a salon.

But before you book an appointment with a hairdresser or pick up a box of Just for Men, consider the many downsides of coloring your hair (always thoroughly read through the Amazon reviews for dyes to understand what you’re getting yourself into):

1. You have to dye your hair every 3-8 weeks. Every month and half or so (depending on how fast your hair grows, how often you get your haircut, and how frequently a particular formula of dye is applied), you’re either going to have to visit a hairdresser to dye it, a process that can take up to an hour, or go through the rigmarole of dyeing your hair at home (which is considerable: you’ve got to apply vaseline around your hairline to keep it from staining your skin, clean up stains on your countertops and hands, and so on).

2. You have to keep dyeing it for-ev-ver (or until your age surpasses your vanity). To keep your hair colored, you’ll have to keep up the dye jobs indefinitely. Once you stop, your hair, especially if it’s gone predominantly gray, will look funny growing back. Before you start dyeing, imagine yourself signing a contract with Just for Men, agreeing to use their product until 2050. As that’s essentially what you’re doing, if you’re not comfortable with that commitment, think twice about starting to color your hair.

3. It costs $$$. Getting your hair colored at a salon can cost $25-$100. That’s really going to add up over time, which again, can be decades.

4. Dyes can be harsh on hair. Hair dye contains chemicals that can sometimes make your hair fall out. Gray hair ages you, but so does thin hair.

5. No matter how natural the hair color, dyed hair never looks completely natural on a man. No hair dye — even those created by a salon — completely matches your original hair color, and even when it’s close, it still doesn’t look quite right, at least on older guys: our brains are used to seeing older women with colored hair, but don’t expect to see older men with such, so when you see a guy with a 50-year-old face, but completely jet black hair, it just registers as being a little off. You realize he dyes his hair, calling attention to it, and his age, and making him seem a little vain and insecure — the very opposite effect from what he’s looking for!

For these reasons, Thad and most male barbers recommend that men who are starting to go gray just let the process take its course. “It’s just easier to manage than dyeing your hair, [and] it looks good, and shows a lot of confidence in a guy,” Thad said.

Embracing the Silver Fox: How to Take Care of Gray Hair

As mentioned above, gray hair is caused by a reduction in melanin. Besides causing your hair to turn gray, a decrease in melanin also makes your hair wiry and harder to manage. So if you decide to embrace your gray hair, there are some changes you’ll need to make to your grooming routine to ensure your new silver mane looks its best:

1. Opt for a shorter haircut. If your hair is still thick, despite the fact it’s going gray, Thad says you still have a lot of options on how to cut and style it. “There are a lot of men with longer gray hair that look good.” (Paging Sam Elliott.) If you’re going to go longer with your gray mane, ask for a cut with more texture. A textured cut involves the barber cutting your hair at an angle which gives it some volume and movement compared to cutting your hair straight across.

While it’s possible to go long with gray hair, Thad likes to steer men with graying locks to cuts that are short on the sides and a little longer on the top (think Clooney). “I like to use clippers on the sides and the back and use some textured cuts on the top,” he said. “A short haircut lets you hide or blend the gray more compared to longer haircuts. Short gray hair is also easier to manage and style than long gray hair. Also, there’s something about a short haircut that takes the years off of a man’s face, so if you’re worried about gray hair making you look old, a shorter haircut can counteract that.”

2. Use a product with a bit of shine. As gray hair loses its natural shine (thanks to the lack of melanin), Thad recommends avoiding completely matte hair products when styling: “Matte products make your hair look a bit dull which is something you don’t want to do when you have gray hair because gray hair is already dull.”

Thad likes semi-matte hair products for gray hair, which have some shine, but not so much that it looks unnatural. A couple specific recommendations from Thad were Cardinal Atlas texturing clay and Firsthand Supply texturing clay.

One product that I’ve had success with on my gray hair is Mitch Construction Paste. It holds my hair without getting crunchy, has a bit, but not too much, shine, and includes conditioning ingredients to reduce some of the wiry-ness of my grays.

3. Don’t shampoo your hair as frequently. Thad told me that most men, including men with no gray hair, shampoo their hair way more than they need to. But shampooing your hair less frequently is even more important when you have gray hair. “Every time you shampoo your hair, you’re washing away your hair’s natural oils. You only need to shampoo your hair a few times a week. This is especially true for men with gray hair since gray hair is already naturally drier,” he said.

Instead of shampooing every time you shower, do it every other day or so.

4. Consider a hair oil. To tame the wirey-ness of your gray hair, try a hair oil, which softens and moisturizes the hair. If you’re having trouble with the coarseness of your gray hair, Thad recommends rubbing in a few drops after you shower.

5. Consider using shampoo and conditioner made especially for gray hair. Once a week use what’s called a “purple shampoo.” It’s called a purple shampoo because it’s, well, purple. They’re designed to make your gray hair look bright and vibrant rather than dull and yellow. Thad recommends talking to someone who specializes in hair color before you start using a “purple shampoo,” though, because while “They can help remove brassy tones from your hair over time . . . it’s possible to overdo it with these shampoos.”

If you reduce how often you shampoo, and use the right hair product and perhaps a hair oil, your gray hair will be in good shape, and you can confidently step into your maturity and enjoy your status as a silver fox.

______________________________________________________________

Thanks to Thad from Hudson Hawk Barber Shops (locations in Springfield, Columbia, and Kansas City, Mo, and Betonville, AR) for his tips.

Further Resources:

How to Talk to Your Barber

How to Deal With Going Bald

The post How to Deal With Going Gray appeared first on The Art of Manliness.

How to Deal With Going Gray published first on https://mensproblem.tumblr.com

[orangebatsanctuary]

Hungry for InaSure? Have a seat and enjoy~♥

Worst Day of His Life

by Liza0111

It might be worst day for someone in story, but it’s the best day for us readers especially when you read to the end. Heal your heart with his LOVE as it can be unexpected, to be looking for.

Read on OrangeBat Sanctuary website:

http://www.orangebat-sanctuary.com/liza0111

or click ‘Keep reading’ below.

Happy Sunday Reading!

Love,

Rosiel

Worst Day of His Life

by Liza0111

Tag: alternate universe, fluff, university AU, mention of past SureAse

☂

Inaho never considered himself a charitable or caring person. Actually, most who know him would say he was the exact opposite. “Machine”, “insensitive”, “unsympathetic” were all words that had been thrown at him in the past, and Inaho never bothered to refute or correct them.

While there was a certain amount of personal bias that had to be taken into account, Inaho did not agree that he was emotionless. He had friends whom he deeply cares about, and his older sister Yuki was the most important person to him in the world. With that being said, he couldn’t argue that he tends to lack certain aspects of interest in the world around him. He rarely connected with people he didn’t regularly interact with and he wasn’t as invested in building new relationships with others as he probably should.

That was why he was so unexpectedly surprised on that one rainy day, the first time he laid eyes on him at the bus stop after finishing some work he had to do at the lab.  

The fresh smell of summer rain. The unpleasant feeling of his socks getting soaked through his shoes. The sound of raindrops hitting against the ground. A boy with pale blond hair. He couldn’t turn his head away, nor could he tear his gaze from him.

He was beautiful, breathtakingly so.

There was only one piece that was out of place. It was impossible to ignore the tears falling from his eyes. Crying, an emotional response that signals extreme emotions.

Anger…….Happiness…...Sadness. Inaho crossed out the first two options in his head. Sadness it is.

The boy was wearing plain jeans and an oversized blue sweatshirt with their university’s name on the front, a clue that hints they may be students from the same school. He was carrying a large travel bag with both hands. His pretty blond hair is soaked by the rain and drips water continuously, while he stared off into the distance.

Inaho felt like he was disrupting something important as he opened his mouth, but he didn’t let the thought stop him from speaking aloud. ‘Sometimes people just want to be left alone when they are sad’. He remembered one of Yuki’s lectures to him on proper social etiquette. ‘And you should give them space.’ He took her words to heart, but what if the person is standing out in the rain without a raincoat or an umbrella? He determined that the risk of catching a cold was enough to justify his intrusion on the unknown boy’s alone time.

“Your clothes are wet. You can get sick like this.”

As the boy flinched and gawked at him wide eyed, Inaho realized he forgot a crucial part of his dialogue.

It might have been better if he began with something like “Are you alright”.......Well, it’s too late now.

✢✢✢

“Inaho Kaizuka, junior, bioengineering and computer science double major.” Inaho said flatly as he pushed a box of tissue across the small dining table to the blond, who had been sobbing since they first met an hour ago. It took him quite a bit of work to coax him to leave the bus stop, which is something he didn’t have much experience to deal with. Long story short, they were now in Inaho’s modest studio apartment.

He thought he should begin with some sort of introduction, making sure the boy didn’t mistake him for someone suspicious. He merely wanted to make sure he was alright.

“U-um, thank you. My name is Slaine Troyard.” The blond (now identified by the name Slaine) sniffled, grabbed a couple of tissues and blew his nose. “I am also a junior, biology major.” He added the last part with a bit of an awkward tone. Perhaps this wasn’t the format of introduction he was used to. Inaho quietly analyzed the situation.

“Nice to meet you, Slaine.” Another line picked right out of How To Make Friends In A New Environment, a book he received from secret Santa his lab group had last Christmas. Heavy silence filled the air, and Inaho truly had no idea how to proceed any further in this conversation. If this were him a few years back, he would have probably said something insensitive and blunt for such occasion, but he had been trying pretty hard to change that aspect of himself. With the help of his sister and his friends, Inaho believed he was getting better. So now instead of having an untimely exchange, they were subjected to this awkward moment of wordlessness, which was equally as uncomfortable.

This was perhaps not the time to ask Slaine why he was crying at the bus stop by himself, since it was quite obvious whatever the reason was, it was most likely also the cause of his distress. Therefore, it would be an inappropriate topic to bring up. Even he knew that.

“Um…….actually, I was wondering, do you know anyone who is renting out their apartment for a cheap price…….the conditions don’t have to be great, it just…...has to be livable. Bare minimum is fine.” Slaine, still red-eyed and despondent, asked tentatively while still staring at the table between them. “I kind of…….got kicked out of my apartment, this is all I have, and I don’t have a lot of savings…….so……”

“You can stay here.” The words came as a surprise for Inaho himself. He blinked blankly for a few times, his gaze settling on the boy sitting across from him, who seemed shocked to say the least.

“This is a one bedroom apartment, but the couch is usually unoccupied. You can use the space here in the living room too.” Inaho couldn’t exactly pinpoint the reason why he was offering to share his personal space to a stranger, but for some reason, it felt like the right thing to do. “And…...you don’t have to pay me.” He attempted to once again justify his actions, perhaps having a roommate would be nice, he hadn’t had that since his first year in college. Slaine seemed…...trustworthy, and not too difficult to get along. Yuki-nee would be happy to hear that he made a new friend.

“Thank you.” Slaine wiped off the tears on his face, thanked him carefully and promised. “It will only be temporary. I will find a place soon, before school starts in the fall again.”

✢✢✢

Turned out it didn’t take long before the truth of Slaine’s backstory revealed itself, taking Inaho no effort at all.

Slaine was crying over everything. By that, he meant, absolutely everything. One morning Inaho was preparing breakfast for the both of them, and Slaine just started sobbing into the palm of his hand without any sort of warning.

“What is wrong?” Inaho asked, one hand holding the frying pan and the other frozen in mid-air while passing the plate of pancakes to Slaine.

“We used to make pancakes together. It almost always ended up failure…...b-but she had so much fun with it.” Slaine said sadly as he took the plate, sinking back to the comfort of the couch. “Thanks, Inaho.”

That was right. Her. Asseylum Vers Allusia, Slaine’s childhood best friend slash ex-girlfriend of seven years, also the source of his seemingly endless anguish. At first Inaho offered to have Slaine create a list of things that reminded him of Asseylum so he could avoid making him relive his pain, but Slaine merely smiled ruefully and told him “everything reminds me of her”.

And that statement was found to be accurate; there were ample evidence, to the point where Inaho stopped asking him about it all together. He no longer questioned anything when he caught Slaine sighing at the sight of very commonplace objects, knowing that he probably recalled memories he shared with Asseylum again.

He didn’t ask about the details of their breakup, it would be a violation of privacy and he felt that Slaine would not be interested in discussing this topic with him. Now wouldn’t be the best timing, he believed.

Instead of asking questions, he decided that another approach would be more preferable. He tried to stay around Slaine whenever he found him sad and alone in the apartment, until Slaine slowly pulled himself away from the memory and moved on to different tasks.

✢✢✢

There were plenty of other things he was discovering about Slaine besides his past romance with a girl named Asseylum Vers Allusia. Inaho found out that Slaine was a decent choice for a roommate. Unlike Calm, his friend and freshmen year roommate, Slaine mostly kept to himself, and hardly complained about anything. He was more than grateful to Inaho for taking him in, and made efforts to show that in various ways.

“This is?” Inaho inquired when he came home to a plate of unidentifiable object on the dining table. Slaine scratched his cheek, looking away embarrassedly.

“Uh, it was an attempt at omurice……”

“Is it?” Inaho poked the “omurice” carefully with his chopsticks, assessing whether or not eating this would put him at the risk of foodborne illness. “Thank you, Slaine.” It's the thought that counts, not so much the taste. And ultimately, Inaho didn’t feel like betraying the hopeful gaze belonging to Slaine Troyard.

Luckily, the omurice made by Slaine didn’t make him sick after eating it. It only took him several cups of orange juice to get the burned flavor off his tongue.

He was also starting to learn more about Slaine as a person through his observations. The way he liked his eggs cooked (scrambled), the time he usually wakes up (around 12pm), and the type of food he can make (primarily sandwiches, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were his expertise). He memorized them without a second of thought. It is essential that he at least had some knowledge about Slaine if they were to become friends.

Most of the days, Inaho spent time at his research lab. Summer classes were another option for him, but he didn’t feel the need to as he could fit in all his major requirements just fine before graduation. Usually, when he came home, he would be greeted by Slaine on the couch. He would ask Slaine what he spent the whole day doing, or what he planned to do with his future, but he wasn’t sure if that would be a violation of social norms, especially when Slaine was still so obviously affected by his breakup with Asseylum. The topic of Slaine’s family seemed even more sensitive to bring into conversations. The frequency of his breakdowns had been steadily decreasing, but he still woke up to the sound of Slaine crying in the living room, every once in a while. He still looked at pictures of the two of them together on his phone, Inaho was 97% sure. There was no need to confirm it.

He made sure to leave enough food in the apartment, a copy of the keys, and a bit of cash he told Slaine could access in case of an emergency. From Slaine’s narrative on the day of their encounter, he surmised that he wasn’t in the most ideal financial situation. Slaine never touched that cash. He knew at least Slaine wasn’t starving himself, and was rather relieved when he came home to his kitchen restocked with food.

Inaho had never been in a relationship before, so he couldn’t exactly relate to what Slaine was going through. But at least Slaine was motivated enough to go out and purchase food for the both of them on his own. That was promising, wasn’t it?

✢✢✢

“Oh my god, I can’t believe that was the ending. What a disappointment.” Slaine huffed as he shoved more popcorn into his mouth, glaring at the ending credits shown on the TV disapprovingly.

“The plot was obviously flawed…….none of the problems were solved and the screenwriters made it seem like it was a happily-ever-after.” Inaho commented, taking a sip of his orange juice. The show they just watched was utterly disappointing, although he didn’t exactly feel “disappointed” because his expectations dropped drastically after the third episode.

“The action was cool though, wasn’t it?” The mention of the actions in the show seemed to lift Slaine’s spirits. The show had no shortage of breathtaking fight scenes that were still very enjoyable to watch. “And the soundtrack is great, too!”

“Yes.” Although Inaho was still more or less hang up on the disastrous plotline and the dissatisfying ending, it was not the worst thing he had ever seen. It served its purpose as entertainment.

He realized that his movie-watching had only started recently, under Slaine’s influence. In his spare time, he read up some more of How To Make People Feel Better After a Breakup, he grasped the idea of “coping by distraction.” After noticing how Slaine seemed to enjoy watching various TV shows, he went ahead and signed up for Netflix, and he could tell Slaine absolutely loved it.

At first, Inaho left Slaine to use the account on his own, but Slaine had looked too lonely watching by himself on the couch. Something was lacking.

A week passed by, and Inaho came to learned that Slaine’s taste in TV shows was quite terrible, and consistently picked out the worst one on the list. Thanks to Slaine’s “training”, Inaho’s tolerance to horrible television had increased exponentially.

“Are you hungry? I can fix up something for dinner.” Slaine took a look of the white board on the wall and promptly got up from the couch. Inaho didn’t mind cooking, but Slaine insisted that it wasn’t fair for Inaho to do everything while he was basically a freeloader. Under Slaine’s instructions, Inaho created a schedule for the both of them, evenly splitting up chores around the apartment.

“I can help.” Slaine’s cooking skills were not good to begin with, but he did improve a lot under Inaho’s teachings. At the very least, he stopped burning food on a regular basis.

“Let’s have pasta tonight. That’s quick and easy.” Slaine took out a box of pasta from the kitchen cabinet, humming softly, apparently in a good mood. Inaho watched as Slaine happily took out cooking pots and the tomato sauce they had left in the fridge, a strangely comforting feeling settling inside his chest.

It was weird, but even though it had only been a little more than a month since Slaine moved in and entered his life, he was started to think that he wouldn’t be able to get used to life without seeing the blond every day.

Sure, there were still plenty of things he didn’t know about the blond, plenty of things he would like to know about him. He didn’t even know if they could be considered friends or only roommates, but he’d like to spend more time with Slaine. It was becoming a habit of a sort, to return home from his work to see Slaine. He didn’t want anything to change. It was uncharacteristic for him to think this way, but he truly believe that they would get to know each other better and become even closer-

“Slaine…….there is something I would like to ask your opinion of.”

“Yeah, Inaho?” He replied cheerfully as he turned around to face him.

There was a hint of hesitation in his voice; uncertainty in his action was rarely seen in him. He came up with the idea a few weeks ago, and he thought that it would be a good decision that served their best interest. “What do you think about finding a new apartment for next semester? There will be more room, and you won’t have to sleep on the couch. I can help pay for your half of the rent if you need me to.” He paused before continuing.

“You can start fresh, I think it would be good for you.”

The smile on Slaine’s face froze, then it slowly slipped away from his features, until there was only sadness left.

✢✢✢

Inaho didn’t understand what he did wrong. He didn’t understand what was in what he said that made Slaine react that way. He was running out of ideas, his mind going a million directions as they ate their dinner in complete silence. He wanted to follow his usual protocol, to give Slaine the space he needed when he gets sad, but for some reason, he couldn’t allow himself to do that.

In preparation of the worst case scenario, Inaho even made freshly baked cookies for calming Slaine down. He had never tried this strategy before, but he hoped it would be effective in reducing his stress level.

“Slaine…...do you want to ta…...lk.” Carrying the tray of cookies to the couch, Inaho carefully sat next to Slaine, who was staring out the window. Slaine sighed heavily, like there was a million tons of brick on his chest.

“I am sorry for ruining the mood tonight.” He began, his gaze still fixed on the window. It was raining outside, exactly like the day they met. “I…...I just remembered something because of what you said.”

“What I said? About finding a new apartment?” Inaho asked. Slaine shook his head.

“No…….the part about starting over.” Slaine smiled weakly at his unforgettable memory.

“It was what Asseylum told me the day we broke up.”

✢✢✢

Dreams are stupid. Slaine learned it at a young age when his parents got divorced. His life didn’t play out like how he imagined it to be. His parents did not stay together like he had always prayed for. He thought his life was falling apart. There was no happy ending. His parents didn’t even remained in friendly terms.

However, his hopes were rekindled when his father took him and moved to another district. There he met Asseylum Vers Allusia, a girl who was the same age as he. Her smile was like the sun. Her voice, the most melodious tune. Her hair, like a river of gold. She was more beautiful than anyone he had ever seen, and he thought he would never have the chance to speak to her. But as it turned out, it was her who came to him first.

“You must be Slaine! My grandfather knows your father! He has been talking about how you two are going to move here! He said we could be great friends!”

“Can I call you Slaine? I have been really lonely for the past few years, there isn’t anyone our age! Please, Slaine! Be my friend!”

Asseylum was ecstatic when he visited her house. Her joy was his honor. Her company was the greatest gift. He wanted to stay with her, protect her, to become her knight.

The happier times of their childhood soon ended. The burden of carrying the family name was placed on Asseylum’s shoulders. Despite generally liking Slaine as a person, Asseylum’s grandfather disapproved of their growing friendship.

Slaine didn’t need verbal confirmation to know that he was no longer a welcomed guest. He took the cue and distanced himself from Asseylum, trying to ignore the ache in his chest whenever he saw another blond showing up around her. Klancain Cruhteo. A respectable young man with the right family name. He was Rayregalia’s plan for her. Their future together was inevitable.

Their final year of high school before college, Slaine made plans to bury his memories and go somewhere far away. He was accepted into the university of his choice, one that is located hundreds of miles away.

He didn’t expect to see Asseylum standing right in front of his house. With two large suitcases by her side, she grinned at him, holding out her acceptance letter to his face.

“Let’s run away together, Slaine.”

She whispered as she hugged him with all her strength.

Some dreams do come true. He believed it with all his heart when it first started. They found an affordable apartment together. University was refreshing and exciting. And he didn’t think he could be any happier. They each found part-time jobs in order to support themselves. Everything was new to them but they accept the challenge that came with their freedom.

He thought this could continue forever. He thought that they could work out everything as long as they were together. But it didn’t work out that way. Asseylum always tried to put up a brave smile and tell him nothing was wrong, that her grandfather would surely come to understand their perspective one day. But he never did. He tried to pretend he didn’t see the pain in her eyes, didn’t hear the desperate plea she made on the phone. At the end, their love didn’t help them survive reality.

The last hope was shattered when Asseylum fell ill and was no longer able to work. Bills were piling up; he had to skip class in order to earn the money he needed. He was beyond exhausted both emotionally and physically, and the impact was not subtle. It bled through every aspect of his life, and soon he found himself in the worst state possible, financially, psychologically, and academically.

Rayregalia came for his granddaughter the day Slaine had organic chemistry final exam. He didn’t show up to his exam and instead stayed with her till she had to leave. They both knew this was the end of their relationship.

“Slaine, please, forget about me.” He still remembered the way tears rolled down her pale cheeks, yet her smile was bright and hopeful as she held his hand.

“Forget about me, and start your life over.”

✢✢✢

“How could I have forgotten about her? She was everything to me; our time together was a part of me. I could never do that.” Slaine sobbed as he buried his face into his hands. “That is just…….impossible. I can’t do it.”

For a few minutes, Inaho was left without words. He couldn’t possibly understand the pain Slaine felt for losing his future with Asseylum, but he was sure that he had to do something. Because this couldn't be what she had wanted.

“Slaine.” His voice was softer than he imagined. There was a lot that needed to be, but he didn’t know if he could express them properly. “Perhaps, what she meant was for you to let go of the past, so you can move on with your life.”

“I know…….and for the longest time I believed that there was no way that I would be able to let go. She was just too important to me.” Slaine let out a broken chuckle. “But until you said that, I was actually doing alright for a while. I didn’t realize that, and it made me feel horrible. I haven’t talked to her since, and here I was saying how much I loved her. But a month passed and I already stopped thinking about her. Everything I said before turned out to be a lie.”

“You don’t need to punish yourself for letting go, and you weren’t lying.” Inaho frowned. He didn’t think that would make any sense. In a way, it was like Slaine was punishing himself for letting go of Asseylum. He felt guilty for not holding on longer because his misery was evidence of his affection and devotion. “It’s human nature to long for happiness.”

“I don’t know…….” Slaine sighed as he closed his eyes. “I just…….didn’t expect it to be this easy.”

The next day, Inaho woke up to an empty living room.

Slaine was gone.

✢✢✢

Inaho didn’t feel hopeful for multiple reasons, for example, the fact that Slaine didn’t take the copy of the apartment key was an indication that he didn’t plan on returning. He didn’t leave note. He didn’t have anyway of reaching Slaine, as Slaine’s phone broke a few days after he moved into here.

Of course he wondered countless times where Slaine was, but he also recognized that Slaine was a legal adult. If he decided that leaving this town altogether was the cure to his heartbreak, then he should be able to do so without interference.

Summer was ending, and Inaho’s lab was collecting the final set of data before they worked on publication. Days without Slaine felt empty and dreadful, but he tried his best to focus on his work.

It would be selfish to keep him. Inaho told himself over and over whenever he thought of the blond. This was his life, and he believed after that night, Slaine made some kind of decision. He should respect his choice.

Two week passed and there was nothing. Inaho thought of what he told Slaine about letting go, and somehow, he felt like he could relate more to Slaine’s thoughts now. He didn’t want to forget either.

It would be easier to move on without Slaine Troyard, but he wanted to hold on just a little longer.

“You seemed stressed out lately, Inaho. Why don’t you take a few days off? School is starting soon again and you should get some rest.” His professor patted him on the shoulder as he walked out. “Come back next week, we are almost done here anyway.”

There was no place he wanted to go. Inaho mulled over his choices, and concluded that nothing was particularly attractive. Heaving a small sigh, he decided that he might as well just go grocery shopper since he skipped that last week.

Walking over to the bus stop, he took out his phone to make a list of items he need. Some vegetables, bread, orange juice, eggs…….

“Hey, you taking the bus too?” The familiar voice made him raise his head in a heartbeat. He almost couldn't believe his eyes.

“.......Slaine?” Inaho stared at the boy standing before him, carrying the same travel bag he had before, wearing a brand new outfit and a new smile. “Where did you go?” He could feel his heart beginning to soar, even though he had so many questions.

“I…...I am sorry I disappeared on you, Inaho.” The blond said sheepishly. “I thought a lot about what you said to me, and I came up with the idea that maybe, I needed closure. So I bought bus tickets and went back to see her. Turns out she was doing well. I think she moved on too, and she is getting along with her grandfather better now. We talked a lot and cried a lot, but I think it is what I needed. I don’t feel as guilty anymore.” He took a deep breath. “I have decided…...I am going to get my life back together. I think I’ll have to delay graduation for a year to retake the classes I failed, but I’ll work hard on it. I just called my previous boss and she said I can come back to work. I still don’t have a place to go, so I was thinking…...the idea you had about getting a new apartment would be great.”

“Sure.” This was the first time Inaho felt like he couldn’t keep up with the load of information getting processed. Is this reality? “And if we can’t find anything, we can stay at my current place, if you don’t mind.”

“Great! Well, please take care of me, Inaho.” Slaine beamed. “Let’s make this year great!”

✢✢✢

His name is Slaine Troyard, junior, biology major. His life was a mess, and he is still in the process of getting back on track, but so far, life is getting better.

He also has one secret that he was keeping.

He might be falling for his roommate, just a little. He wouldn’t have been here without him. He seemed emotionless at first glance, but it was him who turned the worst day of his life into something that changed his life forever in a positive way.

He can’t say for sure, but he thinks, his feelings are mutual.

Now isn’t the time for all that romance stuff yet, because he is more worried about his upcoming organic chemistry exam. Inaho has been helping him study, though, so he thinks he’ll be fine.

He now knows for a fact that there are a lot for him to live for, and moving on doesn’t mean he is selfish and heartless.

He is starting his life over.

The future is still bright.

Mistakes can be corrected.

And…...he thinks he is ready to love again.

END

☂

Author’s Note:

Hello! Thank you for reading this story! I have lost count of how long I have been in az hell, but somehow I am glad that I am still here. Even though az left a lot of salt in my heart, I was able to meet some really amazing people in the fandom and I have to thank az for that. Thank you to Rosiel who organized this amazing  project! <3

Liza0111

[meerkatp]

Thoughts on VOCALOID5

So I guess that enough time has passed where I can give my thoughts on VOCALOID5. (I posted a review on Equipboard that will basically sum this up if you don't wanna read allof this: link)

Warning: Long post ahead.

For those who don't know, VOCALOID is my favorite thing in the world. I love every single one of them (even the ones that I "hate"). Infact, it is a obsession and I may have a problem. So I guess if someone like me says that they have a problem with a VOCALOID product, something must be up.

VOCALOID5, as nice as it may look with some cool new features it has had a abundance of bugs and glitches that can make it unusable. The software would fix a glitch in an update, however would also introduce a new one in that same update. The first most noteworthy glitch upon release was the glitch that would crash the editor if you tried to export a wav file. Sometimes upon crashing you may be able to salvage one wav file but that was quite rare. The next noteworthy bug that would appear was that if you tried to move parameters the program would crash. Both the previously mentioned glitches were fixed in their respective next updates. The next main bug was the one that was introduced in ver 5.2.0 where the software would crash upon opening a vpr file. There are specific circumstances that this bug need to occur however. This bug happens if A: your computer is low on space and/or B: your computer has little memory left. The only way to avoid this glitch is to make sure that your computer still has a ton of free space, and to close all other programs that are open. Then it might work. As of ver 5.2.1 this update has not been fixed. (I did have a long back and forth with YAMAHA on this issue as we were struggling to figure out what was causing the problem. Hopefully the data I provided them with will help in future updates.)

The removal of some features however is rather irksome. A notable removable of Cross-Synthesis for example is another one of the main problems people have with the software. The removal of support for VOCALOID2 vocals, as much as I hate to say it is well understandable. As the years go on older software becomes more unpredictable on newer hardware and OS. Killing off support for older software is just a common practice by companies and I'm not surprised to see it here at all. Another feature that was removes was the "Draw like V2" option for parameters. The removal of this is actually a real pain in my book as now if you draw a parameter it affects the entire part and there is no good way to stop this. The only way to stop this is to draw a dot a bit farther down from where you initially draw the parameter. Then you have to move the dot as close to 0 or 64 (depending on the parameter) as possible. And for some parameters (notably Pitch Bend), this is impossible as there are too many variables. Then there's also the change to the Vibrato Editor. Instead of being able to fine tune and customize your vibratos like a parameter, now you have to adjust it on a graph which does not allow the flexibility as the previous version did.

There is also the issue with the "updates" for the VY series. The only one of them that had a notable update was VY2. As for VY1, they removed all of their VBs that were created for their V4 release except for their Normal VB. VY1, CYBER DIVA, and CYBER SONGMAN's updates are all exactly the same as their V4 releases. A while back a friend of mine even compared the code of SONGMAN's VBs and the code was near if not identical. (I don't know how to properly search twitter though so I can't find the tweet. OTL) You'd think for DIVA they'd of at least gave her the [4], and [@l] phonetics but they did not.

I recently made a poll on twitter asking which was the bigger trainwreak: V5 or Fallout 76 (which is also infamous for it's problems). Though only a few people voted, it did not look good for V5. (And saying that V5 is worse that F76 is really saying something.)

TL;DR: VOCLAOID5 has a lot of problems and I suggest that you do your research before buying it. However, something else to note: if you wish to get the V3 or V4 editors, due to being discontinued the prices for them have skyrocketed and at this point it may be cheaper to get the V5 editor. Or go all the way back and get a later V2 vocal if you hate V5 that much.