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rosemints · 6 months ago

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ok. My dad actually has a hilarious theory that humans in star wars are actually a type of bee or similar creature. The explination isn't perfect but as someone who has watched so much star wars (and my dad has only watched and read older Star wars) it kinda holds up lol.

So, first of all, Star Wars is set "a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away" so there is no reason they would actually be biologically the same species as we earth humans, they just happen to function and look very similar. Kinda like how crabs have independently evolved a bunch of times.

Next. We see almost no gals that aren't in positions of power, also like, how does Shimi have Anakin without a father right? Well, magic one would argue. But my dad argued. The females of the species, like in bees, are the rulers, that guide and are in charge of the rest. And because the queens are in charge of reproduction, Shimi is simply a long queen that got sperated from her hive/her people and put in slavery, and was able to produce offspring because of that.

The Jedi are the guards for the hive/species. They are in charge of protecting the workers and the queen

Civilians are the workers, that keep their society running. This even has supporting evidence int he form of a fancinating sci Fi short story I once read but unfortunately didn't have the chance to finnish, arguing the way humans work together and many become part of a greater while like our whole production and food system was rather like a sort of hive mind! Especially to an alien that loved its whole life creating things entirely independently.

So, using this theory, Anakin could theoretically have XO chromosomes that cause him to be a guy, cuz he's actually a bee!!!!

The Midi-chlorian essay only a few asked

(or, How Is Anakin Skywalker a walking biological horror)

So I made this post and a few were actually interested, also i needed to write down all of this or I wouldn't be able to sleep.

The way I went just from "hahaha they're just mitochondria before becoming forced symbionts and losing all autonomy" to the Medical Horror that would be Anakin Skywalker .

Let me explain, going from this theory, let me tell you that the average mammal cell can have between 800 to 2000 mitochondria. In Star Wars we're told that the average living being, has 2500 midi-chlorians per cell. The difference isn't that big, so we can assume that mid-chlorians are smaller than our real-life mitochondria, and it would make sense since the mitochondria have the best possible living conditions, whereas midi-chlorians, if they're free-life bacteria (as in, they aren't forced to live in the cells of another being) it would make sense if they're just smaller, let's say, sneaky, to increment their chances at living.

So Midi-chlroains don't just produce ATP, Force sensitives have a minimum of 4000-5000 midi-chlorians per cell. That's...a big number, but not very horrific. See, the amount of mitochondria is related to how much energy the organic tissue requires. The cells of muscular tissue and neurons are the ones with the highest mitochondria count. Also the mitochondria in the neurons are mobile and flexible, because just thinking burns ATP.

We can assume that using The Force burns insane amounts of ATP, so I assume it makes sense for Force Sensitives to have big amounts of Midi-chlorians. But! The problem with this is that we're told that the Midi-chlorians are attracted to the force, not born within it. But any multicelullar organism (with a few exceptions) need the mitochondria. Mitochondria have their own ADN, and they're always inherited from the mother, so we can assume that there's two different types of midi-chlorians: The ones any normal being borns with, and the ones that get attracted because of the baby's force potential. Either that, or both the mithocondria and the midi-chlorians exist simultaneously.

Which means that Jedi (or anyone who wants to know, really) would need to take several blood tests for midi-chlorians count. Because a newborns midi-chlorian count wouldn't be the same through a babie's infancy. UNLESS...The midi-chlorian infection (yes, i'm calling it that) ocurrs already since the pregnancy, if the force is strong enough for a fetus to be a possible force sensitive in the future, then I guess the midi-chlorians would get attracted to the parent during the pregnancy as well.

WHICH BTW, IT FITS WITH PADMÉ BECOMING FORCE SENSITIVE, at least for a while, like the discarded ROTS concepts. But also, would mean, that poor Shmi became a hella strong force-sensitive person as well, at least for a while.

And it would be a biological advantage if we take this route, because it would possibly make the pregnant being stronger and with a higher supply of energy.

It also explains why the jedi would only take a single blood test when the force sensitive is just a baby, because the infection is already settled. It can also be argued, that any baby born with a fairly high amount of midi-chlorians (like the 4000 per cell count minimum) would only increase, if only slightly, as the force sensitive grows because the midi-chlorians will get attracted regardless.

There must be a limit, or more like, a balance, that the midi-chlorian and the force potential of the individual met. As in, there's just enough force within the individual for a certain number of midi-chlorian, and all of this is probably decided already during the fetus formation or very early on the baby's life.

Now, Anakin...would be an abomination. Because his cells are so full of midi-chlorians, that it's scary to think how the cells aren't exploding or downright giving malfunctions to the rest of the cellular organelles.

If we go by the route of "midi-chlorians start infecting the force sensitive host mother during pregnancy" it means there were high chances of a misscarriage or an incompatibility between Shmi and Anakin, because holy cow, Anakin is just too much.

But you know what also, it could potentially mean? That Padmé's pregnancy was a risky one, fron the start -slowly nods-. Luke and Leia's force potential was lower than Anakin's, but there's still a lot to unpack there in terms of compatibility. We are never given the exact count of midichlorian count for the twins, but let's pretend it was low enough for Padmé to not inmediatly have a miscarriage. That, and also, maybe, Padmé isn't strong in the force to manipulate it, but maybe just close enough for the pregnancy to be carried to term, let's say, her midi-chlorian count is 3900, close enough.

Something similar with Shmi, I'm taking for granted that she also had a difficult and risky pregnancy (on top of it being a pregnancy she had no agency). It becomes worse because, unlike the twins, Anakin is just...50% human. The only possible genes Anakin has are from Shmi. So he's probably...genetically, almost a clone of Shmi but with a massive infection of Midi-chlorians (yes, this implies that Anakin has homogametic sex chromosomes, aka XX, there's no other possible explanation because he literally only has Shmi's genes to work with!).

But he's Space Jesus, though,so let's pretend that the "no father genes" helped with this and allowed Anakin to grow into a...normal-ish baby despite it all.

Midi-chlorians must be extremelly small, closer to the size of a virus in this case, viruses vary on size and the way they infect the cells is by hijacking the nucleus, which then can produce more viruses instead of its own proteins. This can vary anywhere between a production of 50.000 to 100.000 viruses produced by infected cells.

Which, btw, still fits somewhat with the mitochondria theory, because mitochondrias are believed to have been from a genus of bacteria called Rickettsia, which used to be believed to be the in-between of Viruses and Bacteria due their small size and extreme endosymbiotism.

Still, we aren't even told how many midi-chlorians Anakin had, just that it was over 20.000 and thus the chart couldn't even register it. Even if we're just counting 21.000 midi-chlorians per cell, that's...a lot. Even if the relationship is symbiotic and positive in nature, that's excessive, an infected cell will usually die faster. So Anakin's cellular death must be on record time.

The life span of a cell varies highly depending of the type of cells, white cells can live about 2 days, others about 5, and then there's others that live about 6 years in average.

Forget all of that, Anakin's cells die anywhere between a few hours and a week. Which also means a super fast regeneration and healing (Hey! that tracks, that's how he didn't die even though he should have, on several ocassions).

But that's not the only problem here, the production of energy is strong with this one, too strong. Again this should make the cells burst due too much ATP because of an increase on osmotic pressure. Anakin is producing so much damn ATP (which we can assume it becomes glycogen stored in muscles and fat tissue) his need to be active and just doing something skyrockets, he might as well be the equivalent of being high on meth since birth.

The accelerated cellular formation and death, gives me the horrific idea that Anakin was probably one of these babies that are born premature, but also that he probably was bron with, idk, teeth and already lots of hair. Maybe that's also why he got so tall of all sudden, lots of cellular grow, huh.

Anakin seems to age normally by what are we given by canon. So despite it all, his life-span or aging doesn't seem to be compromised, this is probably because of how strong he is with the Force. In the sense that...he needs the midi-chlorians to handle this much power, but he also needs the force to handle with that many midi-chlorians, otherwise he would have been already born dead.

See, ageing has a lot to do with stem cells. Anakin's stem cells need to be highly prolific and potent to keep cellular division happening at such a high rate, we can infer that any force sensitive has potent stem cells, so the force must inherently affect stem cells. So Anakin's stem cells must be monstruosities in efficiency. If Anakin donated stem cells to someone else, that person would either have a strong inhumne reaction against them or they would get some of the worst cancer ever seen. Again I'm no expert, but the fact Anakin doesn't develop cancer at all as soon as he was born is already impressive. The rate in which Anakin's cells die must be ridiculous, even has a baby, he must have required tons of energy and endure lots of stress which...tracks. The fact he gets electroshocked, burned, gravely wounded or whatever every week or so, must help him to no develop some cancer, which is a bit funny.

But it would also mean he can go long periods of time without eating or resting like...a normal human. Not saying that he doesn't need it, though, but his neural activity and use of the force must be high at all times to burn out that much energy. Theoretically, the production of glycose and glycogen helps him through long periods without sleep or food so he doesn't get long-term damage, or at the very least the ability to keep going, like I said, maybe is like being on drugs all the time; there's still the need to sleep and eat, but he can push his body to keep surviving beyond what's considered normal without having long-term damage. (Don't get happy, this isn't taking into account all of the stuff that happens to him, lol)

The balance between burning too much energy and not burning enough must be insane as well. As Vader, a lot of this probably watered down because all of his energy must be saved for...you know, surviving all the torture. But as a young teen/man amist war? Oh boy.

I'm not an expert, but I'm theorizing that putting Anakin in an induced sleeep must be...fricking hard. Painkillers that work on him? fricking hard. Anesthesia? Probably the same used for big animals, he must be insane and awful for a doctor to work with! Just imagine it, he probably gets injured in such a way that would have anyone else fall unconscious, but Anakin remains awake and with tremendous amounts of adrenaline triggered by a stress response sustented by the extreme amounts of energy that the midichlorians produce.

When it happens in the central nervious system, excess of ATP can produce neuronal dysfunction. In fact, many degenerative mental illnesses have a lot to do with a malfunction of the mitochondrias. There's a corelation also with neurodivergency sometimes, like autism or ADHD. I will leave it there.

And with all of this...I also conclude that Anakin, on general basis, doesn't like sugary things and doesn't even rationalize why, but is because he has already enough glycose. Having something sugary probably gives him a headache.

God what has Star Wars done to me.

#Star wars

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grimrester · 3 years ago

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Theory: What Happened to Dess?

(major Deltarune spoilers)

I've seen a lot of speculation floating around about what happened to Noelle's sister Dess. I've seen these theories so far:

1. Noelle accidentally killed Dess with her ice powers. It traumatized her and that's why she choked during the spelling bee and stares into the freezer at the grocery store.

2. Asgore accidentally ran over Dess and this is why he doesn't use his car and why Undyne is so preoccupied with traffic.

3. Dess ran away to escape their overbearing mom, leaving Noelle in a worse situation. Asgore couldn't find her and that's why he was dismissed from the force.

I like bits and pieces of all these theories so I've combined parts of them into one theory I haven't seen yet: Dess's body is in the bunker in the woods.

Let me cover some ground info and evidence for my theory. I'll be going over some stuff that others have put together already (like Dess's full name) so I couldn't have come to this conclusion without the work of other theory crafters.

1. Dess's full name is December. We can assume this because the buttons spell out "December" when Noelle is talking about Dess for the first time. The room Queen puts Noelle in has clothes that don't look like they belong to Noelle and a calendar that only has the last month of the year, implying it's her sister's room and her name is December.

2. Noelle speaks about Dess in the past tense, as though she has died.

3. Noelle chokes during the spelling bee when asked to spell December, implying that when she was a kid, the thought of her sister was traumatic or upsetting enough to make her go quiet.

4. Noelle also stands and stares into the freezer at Sans's grocery store, as if frozen in place, similar to her reaction during the spelling bee. This implies that her trauma has something to do with the cold, doors, or both.

5. There is no grave for Dess in the town's graveyard. If she is dead, it's likely her body was not found. Given her family attends the church next to the graveyard, it's unlikely they would choose to cremate her or bury her elsewhere.

6. Catti in the cafe says that she, Noelle, and Kris were all interested in the occult when they were younger. The way she talks about it, it doesn't sound like casting magic spells, but more like practicing wicca or doing rituals. I don't think magic as it exists in the dark world is a thing in the real world, judging by how surprised Susie seems by all of it. So I don't think that Noelle can do ice magic in the real world, and her association with the cold and trauma comes from something else.

7. Noelle seems to black out when she does or sees something upsetting. She blacks out and doesn't remember what happened when you force her to "proceed" or "get" the ring.

8. When Noelle talks about the night that she, Dess, Kris, and Asriel went to the woods as kids, she says she doesn't remember how that night ended. She only remembers the beginning and feeling nostalgic.

9. If you take her to Spamton's area in the dump - a quiet, creepy, abandoned hole in the wall - she says it feels nostalgic somehow.

10. Post-game, you can see two of Kris's classmates at the bunker contemplating going inside, implying there's some sort of negative rumors about it and that Kris is "a weenie" who is scared of it.

11. The newspaper clipping in the police station says Asgore was dismissed from the force for unstated reasons. This implies he did something bad, but not bad enough to go to jail himself. If he killed Dess (even accidentally), I don't think Rudy would speak so fondly of him.

Given all this, here is my final conclusion on what happened to Dess:

Dess, Noelle, Kris, and Asriel were out in the woods together, having fun and exploring. They found the bunker at some point - a creepy, isolated door in the middle of the quiet woods, just like Spamton's area that Noelle also describes "nostalgic." Kris and Noelle were probably interested in it, because they both were into creepy, occult things. When they opened the door, trapped air in a bunker like that tends to be chilly and it rushed out when released, not unlike the freezer door that Noelle stares blankly into.

The kids went into the cold, abandoned bunker in the woods and something happened down there. Perhaps it was something occult, or just a traumatic accident. Noelle either witnessed what happened to Dess or found Dess's cold, frozen body after she died, but has blacked out the memory and now freezes up when reminded of it. Kris may not have seen everything, but knows enough to be scared of the bunker.

Asgore, a police officer at the time, was never able to find Dess. Maybe the kids sealed the bunker after they left and Asgore couldn't get in. Or perhaps something happened with all the kids down there that caused Dess to get hurt, and Asgore was worried his kids would get in trouble and kept it a secret to protect them. Since he never found Dess, Asgore was dismissed from the force by Noelle's mom, the mayor.

Since Dess's body was never found and buried, Dess's corpse could still be in the bunker during the events of Deltarune.

#deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune #deltarune theory

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schrodingers-tits · 1 year ago

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UNCLE CARL:

That's a conspiracy theory.

These are obviously doctored photos.

JANET:

How did you get mixed up in this?

ADAM:

He's been talking to humans.

JANET:

- What?

MARTIN:

- Talking to humans?!

ADAM:

He has a human girlfriend.

And they make out!

JANET:

Make out? Barry!

BARRY:

We do not.

ADAM:

- You wish you could.

MARTIN:

- Whose side are you on?

BARRY:

The bees!

UNCLE CARL:

(He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time)

I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.

Those crazy legs kept me up all night.

JANET:

Barry, this is what you want

to do with your life?

BARRY:

I want to do it for all our lives.

Nobody works harder than bees!

Dad, I remember you

coming home so overworked

your hands were still stirring.

You couldn't stop.

JANET:

I remember that.

BARRY:

What right do they have to our honey?

We live on two cups a year. They put it

in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!

ADAM:

Even if it's true, what can one bee do?

BARRY:

Sting them where it really hurts.

MARTIN:

In the face! The eye!

- That would hurt.

BARRY:

- No.

MARTIN:

Up the nose? That's a killer.

BARRY:

There's only one place you can sting

the humans, one place where it matters.

(Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News)

BEE NEWS NARRATOR:

Hive at Five, the hive's only

full-hour action news source.

BEE PROTESTOR:

No more bee beards!

BEE NEWS NARRATOR:

With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.

Weather with Storm Stinger.

Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Chung.

BOB BUMBLE:

- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.

JEANETTE CHUNG:

- And I'm Jeanette Chung.

BOB BUMBLE:

A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,

intends to sue the human race

for stealing our honey,

packaging it and profiting

from it illegally!

JEANETTE CHUNG:

Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,

we'll have three former queens here in

our studio, discussing their new book,

Classy Ladies,

out this week on Hexagon.

(The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry

King and Barry)

BEE LARRY KING:

Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.

Did you ever think, "I'm a kid

from the hive. I can't do this"?

BARRY:

Bees have never been afraid

to change the world.

What about Bee Columbus?

Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?

BEE LARRY KING:

Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.

We were thinking

of stickball or candy stores.

BARRY:

How old are you?

BEE LARRY KING:

The bee community

is supporting you in this case,

which will be the trial

of the bee century.

BARRY:

You know, they have a Larry King

in the human world too.

BEE LARRY KING:

It's a common name. Next week...

BARRY:

He looks like you and has a show

and suspenders and colored dots...

BEE LARRY KING:

Next week...

BARRY:

Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the

guest even though you just heard 'em.

BEE LARRY KING:

Bear Week next week!

They're scary, hairy and here, live.

(Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen)

BARRY:

Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,

squinty eyes, very Jewish.

(Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her.

They are arguing)

KEN:

In tennis, you attack

at the point of weakness!

VANESSA:

It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.

KEN==

Honey, her backhand's a joke!

I'm not gonna take advantage of that?

BARRY:

(To Ken)

Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.

KEN:

(Pointing at Barry)

- Is that that same bee?

VANESSA:

- Yes, it is!

I'm helping him sue the human race.

BARRY:

- Hello.

KEN:

- Hello, bee.

VANESSA:

This is Ken.

BARRY:

(Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier)

Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size

ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.

KEN:

(To Vanessa)

Why does he talk again?

VANESSA:

Listen, you better go

'cause we're really busy working.

KEN:

But it's our yogurt night!

VANESSA:

(Holding door open for Ken)

Bye-bye.

KEN:

(Yelling)

Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

(Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess)

VANESSA:

You poor thing.

You two have been at this for hours!

BARRY:

Yes, and Adam here

has been a huge help.

ADAM:

- Frosting...

- How many sugars?

==BARRY==

Just one. I try not

to use the competition.

So why are you helping me?

VANESSA:

Bees have good qualities.

And it takes my mind off the shop.

Instead of flowers, people

are giving balloon bouquets now.

BARRY:

Those are great, if you're three.

VANESSA:

And artificial flowers.

BARRY:

- Oh, those just get me psychotic!

VANESSA:

- Yeah, me too.

BARRY:

Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

ADAM:

Bees must hate those fake things!

Nothing worse

than a daffodil that's had work done.

Maybe this could make up

for it a little bit.

VANESSA:

- This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.

BARRY:

- I guess.

ADAM:

You sure you want to go through with it?

BARRY:

Am I sure? When I'm done with

the humans, they won't be able

to say, "Honey, I'm home,"

without paying a royalty!

(Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows

a crowd outside a courthouse)

NEWS REPORTER:

It's an incredible scene

here in downtown Manhattan,

where the world anxiously waits,

because for the first time in history,

we will hear for ourselves

if a honeybee can actually speak.

(We are no longer watching through a news camera)

ADAM:

What have we gotten into here, Barry?

BARRY:

It's pretty big, isn't it?

ADAM==

(Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse)

I can't believe how many humans

don't work during the day.

BARRY:

You think billion-dollar multinational

food companies have good lawyers?

SECURITY GUARD:

Everybody needs to stay

behind the barricade.

(A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry

owner gets out and walks past Barry)

ADAM:

- What's the matter?

BARRY:

- I don't know, I just got a chill.

(Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court)

MONTGOMERY:

Well, if it isn't the bee team.

(To Honey Industry lawyers)

You boys work on this?

MAN:

All rise! The Honorable

Judge Bumbleton presiding.

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

All right. Case number 4475,

Superior Court of New York,

Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry

is now in session.

Mr. Montgomery, you're representing

the five food companies collectively?

MONTGOMERY:

A privilege.

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Benson... you're representing

all the bees of the world?

(Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk)

(Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee)

BARRY:

I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,

we're ready to proceed.

JUDGE BUMBLBETON:

Mr. Montgomery,

your opening statement, please.

MONTGOMERY:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

my grandmother was a simple woman.

Born on a farm, she believed

it was man's divine right

to benefit from the bounty

of nature God put before us.

If we lived in the topsy-turvy world

Mr. Benson imagines,

just think of what would it mean.

I would have to negotiate

with the silkworm

for the elastic in my britches!

Talking bee!

(Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry)

How do we know this isn't some sort of

holographic motion-picture-capture

Hollywood wizardry?

They could be using laser beams!

Robotics! Ventriloquism!

Cloning! For all we know,

he could be on steroids!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Benson?

BARRY:

Ladies and gentlemen,

there's no trickery here.

I'm just an ordinary bee.

Honey's pretty important to me.

It's important to all bees.

We invented it!

We make it. And we protect it

with our lives.

Unfortunately, there are

some people in this room

who think they can take it from us

'cause we're the little guys!

I'm hoping that, after this is all over,

you'll see how, by taking our honey,

you not only take everything we have

but everything we are!

JANET==

(To Martin)

I wish he'd dress like that

all the time. So nice!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Call your first witness.

BARRY:

So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden

of Honey Farms, big company you have.

KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN:

I suppose so.

BARRY:

I see you also own

Honeyburton and Honron!

KLAUSS:

Yes, they provide beekeepers

for our farms.

BARRY:

Beekeeper. I find that

to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ

any bee-free-ers, do you?

KLAUSS:

(Quietly)

- No.

BARRY:

- I couldn't hear you.

KLAUSS:

- No.

BARRY:

- No.

Because you don't free bees.

You keep bees. Not only that,

it seems you thought a bear would be

an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

KLAUSS:

They're very lovable creatures.

Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

BARRY:

You mean like this?

(The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is

roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people

are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a

chain)

(Pointing to the roaring bear)

Bears kill bees!

How'd you like his head crashing

through your living room?!

Biting into your couch!

Spitting out your throw pillows!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

OK, that's enough. Take him away.

(The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out)

BARRY:

So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.

Your name intrigues me.

- Where have I heard it before?

MR. STING:

- I was with a band called The Police.

BARRY:

But you've never been

a police officer, have you?

STING:

No, I haven't.

BARRY:

No, you haven't. And so here

we have yet another example

of bee culture casually

stolen by a human

for nothing more than

a prance-about stage name.

STING:

Oh, please.

BARRY:

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

Because I'm feeling

a little stung, Sting.

Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

MONTGOMERY:

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

BARRY:

Mr. Liotta, first,

belated congratulations on

your Emmy win for a guest spot

on ER in 2005.

RAY LIOTTA:

Thank you. Thank you.

BARRY:

I see from your resume

that you're devilishly handsome

with a churning inner turmoil

that's ready to blow.

RAY LIOTTA:

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

BARRY:

Not yet it isn't. But is this

what it's come to for you?

Exploiting tiny, helpless bees

so you don't

have to rehearse

your part and learn your lines, sir?

RAY LIOTTA:

Watch it, Benson!

I could blow right now!

BARRY:

This isn't a goodfella.

This is a badfella!

(Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry)

RAY LIOTTA:

Why doesn't someone just step on

this creep, and we can all go home?!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

- Order in this court!

RAY LIOTTA:

- You're all thinking it!

(Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel)

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Order! Order, I say!

RAY LIOTTA:

- Say it!

MAN:

- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

(We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case)

(Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa)

BARRY:

I think it was awfully nice

of that bear to pitch in like that.

VANESSA:

I think the jury's on our side.

BARRY:

Are we doing everything right,you know, legally?

VANESSA:

I'm a florist.

BARRY:

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

VANESSA:

To a great team!

(Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees

Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa)

KEN:

Well, hello.

VANESSA:

- Oh, Ken!

BARRY:

- Hello!

VANESSA:

I didn't think you were coming.

No, I was just late.

I tried to call, but...

(Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge)

...the battery...

VANESSA:

I didn't want all this to go to waste,

so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

KEN:

Oh, that was lucky.

(Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room)

VANESSA:

There's a little left.

I could heat it up.

KEN:

(Not taking his eyes off Barry)

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

BARRY:

So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

I'm not much for the game myself.

The ball's a little grabby.

KEN:

That's where I usually sit.

Right...

(Points to where Barry is sitting)

there.

VANESSA:

(Calling from other room)

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

and he agreed with me that eating with

chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

KEN:

(To Barry)

You think I don't see what you're doing?

BARRY:

I know how hard it is to find

the right job. We have that in common.

KEN:

Do we?

BARRY:

Bees have 100 percent employment,

but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

KEN:

(Menacingly)

That's just what

I was thinking about doing.

(Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to

pick it up)

VANESSA:

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor

for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

(Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the

table and yells)

BARRY:

I'm going to drain the old stinger.

KEN:

Yeah, you do that.

(Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing

some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in

anger)

(Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court)

BARRY:

Look at that.

(Barry flies into the bathroom)

(He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even

madder. He yells again)

(Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in)

KEN:

You know, you know I've just about had it

(Closes bathroom door behind him)

with your little mind games.

(Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine)

BARRY:

(Backing away)

- What's that?

KEN:

- Italian Vogue.

BARRY:

Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

KEN:

It's a lot of ads.

BARRY:

Remember what Van said, why is

your life more valuable than mine?

KEN:

That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

(Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly

escapes)

(Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he

keeps missing)

(Ken gets a spray bottle)

I think something stinks in here!

BARRY:

(Enjoying the spray)

I love the smell of flowers.

(Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle)

KEN:

How do you like the smell of flames?!

BARRY:

Not as much.

(Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the

bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into

the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he

picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it)

WATER BUG:

Water bug! Not taking sides!

(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a

chapstick hat)

BARRY:

Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!

This is pathetic!

(Ken switches the shower head to lethal)

KEN:

I've got issues!

(Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet)

(Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry)

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

BARRY:

- You're bluffing.

KEN:

- Am I?

(flushes toilet)

(Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the

flushing toilet)

BARRY:

Surf's up, dude!

(Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with

the toilet water)

EW,Poo water!

BARRY:

That bowl is gnarly.

KEN:

(Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry)

Except for those dirty yellow rings!

(Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet

cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry)

VANESSA:

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

KEN==

(Leaning towards Barry)

You know, I don't even like honey!

I don't eat it!

VANESSA:

We need to talk!

(Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom)

He's just a little bee!

And he happens to be

the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

KEN:

Long time? What are you talking about?!

Are there other bugs in your life?

VANESSA:

No, but there are other things bugging

me in life. And you're one of them!

KEN:

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

My nerves are fried from riding

on this emotional roller coaster!

VANESSA:

Goodbye, Ken.

(Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in

and stares at Barry)

And for your information,

I prefer sugar-free, artificial

sweeteners MADE BY MAN!

(Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry)

VANESSA:

I'm sorry about all that.

(Ken walks back in again)

KEN:

I know it's got

an aftertaste! I LIKE IT!

(Ken leaves for the last time)

VANESSA:

I always felt there was some kind

of barrier between Ken and me.

I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well.

Are you OK for the trial?

BARRY:

I believe Mr. Montgomery

is about out of ideas.

(Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court)

MONTGOMERY--

We would like to call

Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

ADAM:

Good idea! You can really see why he's

considered one of the best lawyers...

(Barry stares at Adam)

...Yeah.

LAWYER:

Layton, you've

gotta weave some magic

with this jury,

or it's gonna be all over.

MONTGOMERY:

Don't worry. The only thing I have

to do to turn this jury around

is to remind them

of what they don't like about bees.

(To lawyer)

- You got the tweezers?

LAWYER:

- Are you allergic?

MONTGOMERY:

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you

what I think we'd all like to know.

What exactly is your relationship

(Points to Vanessa)

to that woman?

BARRY:

We're friends.

MONTGOMERY:

- Good friends?

BARRY:

- Yes.

MONTGOMERY:

How good? Do you live together?

ADAM:

Wait a minute...

MONTGOMERY:

Are you her little...

...bedbug?

(Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated)

I've seen a bee documentary or two.

From what I understand,

doesn't your queen give birth

to all the bee children?

BARRY:

- Yeah, but...

MONTGOMERY:

(Pointing at Janet and Martin)

- So those aren't your real parents!

JANET:

- Oh, Barry...

BARRY:

- Yes, they are!

ADAM:

Hold me back!

(Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery)

MONTGOMERY:

You're an illegitimate bee,

aren't you, Benson?

ADAM:

He's denouncing bees!

MONTGOMERY:

Don't y'all date your cousins?

(Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam)

VANESSA:

- Objection!

(Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at

Montgomery)

=ADAM:

- I'm going to pincushion this guy!

BARRY:

Adam, don't! It's what he wants!

(Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)

MONTGOMERY:

Oh, I'm hit!!

Oh, lordy, I am hit!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

(Banging gavel)

Order! Order!

MONTGOMERY:

(Overreacting)

The venom! The venom

is coursing through my veins!

I have been felled

by a winged beast of destruction!

You see? You can't treat them

like equals! They're striped savages!

Stinging's the only thing

they know! It's their way!

BARRY:

- Adam, stay with me.

ADAM:

- I can't feel my legs.

MONTGOMERY:

(Overreacting and throwing his body around the room)

What angel of mercy

will come forward to suck the poison

from my heaving buttocks?

JUDGE BUMLBETON:

I will have order in this court. Order!

Order, please!

(Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter)

NEWS REPORTER:

The case of the honeybees

versus the human race

took a pointed turn against the bees

yesterday when one of their legal

team stung Layton T. Montgomery.

(Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him)

BARRY:

- Hey, buddy.

ADAM:

- Hey.

BARRY:

- Is there much pain?

ADAM:

- Yeah.

I...

I blew the whole case, didn't I?

BARRY:

It doesn't matter. What matters is

you're alive. You could have died.

ADAM:

I'd be better off dead. Look at me.

(A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger)

They got it from the cafeteria

downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.

Look, there's

a little celery still on it.

(Flicks off the celery and sighs)

BARRY:

What was it like to sting someone?

ADAM:

I can't explain it. It was all...

All adrenaline and then...

and then ecstasy!

BARRY:

...All right.

ADAM:

You think it was all a trap?

BARRY:

Of course. I'm sorry.

I flew us right into this.

What were we thinking? Look at us. We're

just a couple of bugs in this world.

ADAM:

What will the humans do to us

if they win?

BARRY:

I don't know.

ADAM:

I hear they put the roaches in motels.

That doesn't sound so bad.

BARRY:

Adam, they check in,

but they don't check out!

ADAM:

Oh, my.

(Coughs)

Could you get a nurse

to close that window?

BARRY:

- Why?

ADAM:

- The smoke.

(We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside)

Bees don't smoke.

BARRY:

Right. Bees don't smoke.

Bees don't smoke!

But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case!

ADAM:

It is? It's not over?

BARRY:

Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.

Get back to the court and stall.

Stall any way you can.

(Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom)

ADAM:

And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub!

(We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being

taught how by Adam. They all look confused)

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Mr. Flayman.

ADAM:

Yes? Yes, Your Honor!

JUDGE BUMBLETON:

Where is the rest of your team?

ADAM:

(Continues stalling)

Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,

and as a result,

we don't make very good time.

I actually heard a funny story about...

Fuck it

Bee Movie script

Bee Movie

By Jerry Seinfeld

NARRATOR:

(Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard)

According to all known laws

of aviation,

there is no way a bee

should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get

its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care

what humans think is impossible.

BARRY BENSON:

(Barry is picking out a shirt)

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!

Let's shake it up a little.

JANET BENSON:

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

BARRY:

Coming!

Hang on a second.

(Barry uses his antenna like a phone)

Hello?

ADAM FLAYMAN:

(Through phone)

- Barry?

BARRY:

- Adam?

ADAM:

- Can you believe this is happening?

BARRY:

- I can't. I'll pick you up.

(Barry flies down the stairs)

MARTIN BENSON:

Looking sharp.

JANET:

Use the stairs. Your father

paid good money for those.

BARRY:

Sorry. I'm excited.

MARTIN:

Here's the graduate.

We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

JANET:

Very proud.

(Rubs Barry's hair)

BARRY=

Ma! I got a thing going here.

JANET:

- You got lint on your fuzz.

BARRY:

- Ow! That's me!

JANET:

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.

- Bye!

(Barry flies out the door)

JANET:

Barry, I told you,

stop flying in the house!

(Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a

newspaper)

BARRY==

- Hey, Adam.

ADAM:

- Hey, Barry.

(Adam gets in Barry's car)

- Is that fuzz gel?

BARRY:

- A little. Special day, graduation.

ADAM:

Never thought I'd make it.

(Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving)

BARRY:

Three days grade school,

three days high school...

ADAM:

Those were awkward.

BARRY:

Three days college. I'm glad I took

a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

ADAM==

You did come back different.

(Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging)

ARTIE:

- Hi, Barry!

BARRY:

- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

ADAM:

- Hear about Frankie?

BARRY:

- Yeah.

ADAM==

- You going to the funeral?

BARRY:

- No, I'm not going to his funeral.

Everybody knows,

sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.

ADAM:

I guess he could have

just gotten out of the way.

(The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the

highway)

I love this incorporating

an amusement park into our regular day.

BARRY:

I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations.

(Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating

students)

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...

under the circumstances.

(Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats)

- Well, Adam, today we are men.

ADAM:

- We are!

BARRY=

- Bee-men.

=ADAM=

- Amen!

BARRY AND ADAM:

Hallelujah!

(Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm)

ANNOUNCER:

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

DEAN BUZZWELL:

Welcome, New Hive Oity

graduating class of...

...9:

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career

at Honex Industries!

ADAM:

Will we pick our job today?

(Adam and Barry get into a tour bus)

BARRY=

I heard it's just orientation.

(Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically

loaded into the buses)

TOUR GUIDE:

Heads up! Here we go.

ANNOUNCER:

Keep your hands and antennas

inside the tram at all times.

BARRY:

- Wonder what it'll be like?

ADAM:

- A little scary.

TOUR GUIDE==

Welcome to Honex,

a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

Barry:

This is it!

BARRY AND ADAM:

Wow.

BARRY:

Wow.

(The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive

complicated Honey-making machines)

TOUR GUIDE:

We know that you, as a bee,

have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you

can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen

Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,

scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive

golden glow you know as...

EVERYONE ON BUS:

Honey!

(The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into

the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back)

ADAM:

- That girl was hot.

BARRY:

- She's my cousin!

ADAM==

- She is?

BARRY:

- Yes, we're all cousins.

ADAM:

- Right. You're right.

TOUR GUIDE:

- At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect

of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing

a new helmet technology.

(The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the

ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but

you can hear him groan)

ADAM==

- What do you think he makes?

BARRY:

- Not enough.

TOUR GUIDE:

Here we have our latest advancement,

the Krelman.

(They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each

wearing a finger-shaped hat)

Barry:

- Wow, What does that do?

TOUR GUIDE:

- Catches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it.

Saves us millions.

ADAM:

(Intrigued)

Can anyone work on the Krelman?

TOUR GUIDE:

Of course. Most bee jobs are

small ones.

But bees know that every small job,

if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job

you pick for the rest of your life.

(Everyone claps except for Barry)

BARRY:

The same job the rest of your life?

I didn't know that.

ADAM:

What's the difference?

TOUR GUIDE:

You'll be happy to know that bees,

as a species, haven't had one day off

in 27 million years.

BARRY:

(Upset)

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

(Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back

home together)

ADAM:

Wow! That blew my mind!

BARRY:

"What's the difference?"

How can you say that?

One job forever?

That's an insane choice to have to make.

ADAM:

I'm relieved. Now we only have

to make one decision in life.

BARRY:

But, Adam, how could they

never have told us that?

ADAM:

Why would you question anything?

We're bees.

We're the most perfectly

functioning society on Earth.

BARRY:

You ever think maybe things

work a little too well here?

ADAM:

Like what? Give me one example.

(Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that

hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect

unison)

BARRY:

I don't know. But you know

what I'm talking about.

ANNOUNCER:

Please clear the gate.

Royal Nectar Force on approach.

BARRY:

Wait a second. Check it out.

(The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line)

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!

ADAM:

- Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

BARRY:

They know what it's like

outside the hive.

ADAM:

Yeah, but some don't come back.

GIRL BEES:

- Hey, Jocks!

- Hi, Jocks!

(The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar

to trucks, which drive away)

LOU LO DUVA:

You guys did great!

You're monsters!

You're sky freaks!

I love it!

(Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy)

I love it!

ADAM:

- I wonder where they were.

BARRY:

- I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows

where, doing who knows what.

You can't just decide to be a Pollen

Jock. You have to be bred for that.

ADAM==

Right.

(Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen

Jocks)

BARRY:

Look at that. That's more pollen

than you and I will see in a lifetime.

ADAM:

It's just a status symbol.

Bees make too much of it.

BARRY:

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it

and the ladies see you wearing it.

(Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)

ADAM==

Those ladies?

Aren't they our cousins too?

BARRY:

Distant. Distant.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

Look at these two.

POLLEN JOCK #2:

- Couple of Hive Harrys.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

- Let's have fun with them.

GIRL BEE #1:

It must be dangerous

being a Pollen Jock.

BARRY:

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me

against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,

and with the other, he was slapping me!

(Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario)

GIRL BEE #2:

- Oh, my!

BARRY:

- I never thought I'd knock him out.

GIRL BEE #1:

(Looking at Adam)

What were you doing during this?

ADAM:

Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities.

BARRY:

I can autograph that.

(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and

Adam really are pollen jocks.)

POLLEN JOCK #1:

A little gusty out there today,

wasn't it, comrades?

BARRY:

Yeah. Gusty.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

We're hitting a sunflower patch

six miles from here tomorrow.

BARRY:

- Six miles, huh?

ADAM:

- Barry!

POLLEN JOCK #2:

A puddle jump for us,

but maybe you're not up for it.

BARRY:

- Maybe I am.

ADAM:

- You are not!

POLLEN JOCK #1:

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?

Are you bee enough?

BARRY:

I might be. It all depends

on what 0900 means.

(The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at

night)

MARTIN:

Hey, Honex!

BARRY:

Dad, you surprised me.

MARTIN:

You decide what you're interested in?

BARRY:

- Well, there's a lot of choices.

- But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored

doing the same job every day?

MARTIN:

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just

move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.

It's a beautiful thing.

BARRY:

You know, Dad,

the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field

just isn't right for me.

MARTIN:

You were thinking of what,

making balloon animals?

That's a bad job

for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure

he wants to go into honey!

JANET:

- Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

BARRY:

- I'm not trying to be funny.

MARTIN:

You're not funny! You're going

into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

JANET:

- You're gonna be a stirrer?

BARRY:

- No one's listening to me!

MARTIN:

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

BARRY:

I could say anything right now.

I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

(Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on)

MARTIN:

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

BARRY:

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.

Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get

a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

JANET:

I'm so proud.

(The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job)

ADAM:

- We're starting work today!

BARRY:

- Today's the day.

ADAM:

Come on! All the good jobs

will be gone.

BARRY:

Yeah, right.

JOB LISTER:

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,

stirrer, front desk, hair removal...

BEE IN FRONT OF LINE:

- Is it still available?

JOB LISTER:

- Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!

Step to the side.

ADAM:

- What'd you get?

BEE IN FRONT OF LINE:

- Picking crud out. Stellar!

(He walks away)

ADAM:

Wow!

JOB LISTER:

Couple of newbies?

ADAM:

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

JOB LISTER:

Make your choice.

(Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly

changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very

confusing)

ADAM:

- You want to go first?

BARRY:

- No, you go.

ADAM:

Oh, my. What's available?

JOB LISTER:

Restroom attendant's open,

not for the reason you think.

ADAM:

- Any chance of getting the Krelman?

JOB LISTER:

- Sure, you're on.

(Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head)

(Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out)

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

(Takes Adam's hat off)

Wax monkey's always open.

ADAM:

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

JOB LISTER:

A bee died. Makes an opening. See?

He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up.

Dead from the neck down. That's life!

ADAM:

Oh, this is so hard!

(Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off)

Heating, cooling,

stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven,

lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what

do you think I should... Barry?

(Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away)

Barry!

POLLEN JOCK:

All right, we've got the sunflower patch

in quadrant nine...

ADAM:

(Through phone)

What happened to you?

Where are you?

BARRY:

- I'm going out.

ADAM:

- Out? Out where?

BARRY:

- Out there.

ADAM:

- Oh, no!

BARRY:

I have to, before I go

to work for the rest of my life.

ADAM:

You're gonna die! You're crazy!

(Barry hangs up)

Hello?

POLLEN JOCK #2:

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave,

there's a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

BARRY:

Hey, guys.

POLLEN JOCK #1 ==

- Look at that.

POLLEN JOCK #2:

- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

LOU LO DUVA:

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

(Puts hand on Barry's shoulder)

LOU LO DUVA:

(To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

BEE WITH CLIPBOARD:

(To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that.

- Thank you.

LOU LO DUVA:

- OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know,

bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always,

watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs,

birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports

of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it,

babbling like a cicada!

BARRY:

- That's awful.

LOU LO DUVA:

(Still talking through megaphone)

- And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one,

absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

POLLEN JOCKS:

(The Pollen Jocks run into formation)

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,

buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

LOU LU DUVA:

Black and yellow!

POLLEN JOCKS:

Hello!

POLLEN JOCK #1:

(To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot?

BARRY:

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

POLLEN JOCK's:

Wind, check.

- Antennae, check.

- Nectar pack, check.

- Wings, check.

- Stinger, check.

BARRY:

Scared out of my shorts, check.

LOU LO DUVA:

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias,

you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

(The pollen jocks fly out of the hive)

BARRY:

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

(Barry flies through the kite)

Wow!

Flowers!

(A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to

heat sink goggles.)

POLLEN JOCK:

This is Blue Leader.

We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

POLLEN JOCK #1:

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.

It's got a bit of a kick.

(The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that

suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun)

BARRY:

That is one nectar collector!

POLLEN JOCK #1==

- Ever see pollination up close?

BARRY:

- No, sir.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles

pollen as he goes)

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it

over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one.

See that? It's a little bit of magic.

BARRY:

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

POLLEN JOCK #1:

That's pollen power. More pollen, more

flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

BARRY:

Cool.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.

could be daisies. Don't we need those?

POLLEN JOCK #2:

Copy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers

seems to be on the move.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

Say again? You're reporting

a moving flower?

POLLEN JOCK #2:

Affirmative.

(The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are

obviously just tennis balls)

KEN:

(In the distance) That was on the line!

POLLEN JOCK #1:

This is the coolest. What is it?

POLLEN JOCK #2:

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good.

Not like a flower, but I like it.

POLLEN JOCK #1:

Yeah, fuzzy.

(Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck)

POLLEN JOCK #3==

Chemical-y.

(The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball)

POLLEN JOCK #1:

Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.

(The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of

one of the tennis balls)

POLLEN JOCK #2:

My sweet lord of bees!

POLLEN JOCK #3:

Candy-brain, get off there!

POLLEN JOCK #1:

(Pointing upwards)

Problem!

(A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck

to)

BARRY:

- Guys!

POLLEN JOCK #2:

- This could be bad.

POLLEN JOCK #3:

Affirmative.

(Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick

to it)

BARRY==

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

(Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is

still stuck to the ball)

POLLEN JOCK #1:

You are way out of position, rookie!

KEN:

Coming in at you like a MISSILE!

(Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball)

BARRY:

(In slow motion)

Help me!

POLLEN JOCK #2:

I don't think these are flowers.

POLLEN JOCK #3:

- Should we tell him?

POLLEN JOCK #1:

- I think he knows.

BARRY:

What is this?!

KEN:

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey,

because you're about to EAT IT!

(A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way

with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city)

BARRY:

Yowser!

(Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies

into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there)

BARRY:

Ew, gross.

(The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry

into the car)

GIRL IN CAR:

There's a bee in the car!

- Do something!

DAD DRIVING CAR:

- I'm driving!

BABY GIRL:

(Waving at Barry)

- Hi, bee.

(Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl)

GUY IN BACK OF CAR:

- He's back here!

He's going to sting me!

GIRL IN CAR:

Nobody move. If you don't move,

he won't sting you. Freeze!

(Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car)

GRANDMA IN CAR==

He blinked!

(The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car,

climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry)

GIRL IN CAR:

Spray him, Granny!

DAD DRIVING THE CAR:

What are you doing?!

(Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above

the ground, safe.)

BARRY:

Wow... the tension level

out here is unbelievable.

(Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds

moving into this direction)

I gotta get home.

Can't fly in rain.

(A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged)

Can't fly in rain.

(A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards)

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

(WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a

plant inside an apartment near the window)

VANESSA BLOOME:

Ken, could you close

the window please?

KEN==

Hey, check out my new resume.

I made it into a fold-out brochure.

You see?

(Folds brochure resume out)

Folds out.

(Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside)

BARRY:

Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.

(Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again)

What was that?

(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back

because the window is closed)

Maybe this time. This time. This time.

This time! This time! This...

Drapes!

(Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is)

That is diabolical.

KEN:

It's fantastic. It's got all my special

skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

ANDY:

What's number one? Star Wars?

KEN:

Nah, I don't go for that...

(Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops)

...kind of stuff.

BARRY:

No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.

They're out of their minds.

KEN:

When I leave a job interview, they're

flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.

BARRY:

(Looking at the light on the ceiling)

There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.

(Starts flying towards the lightbulb)

I don't remember the sun

having a big 75 on it.

(Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the

humans are sitting at)

KEN:

I predicted global warming.

I could feel it getting hotter.

At first I thought it was just me.

(Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and

is about to put it in his mouth)

Wait! Stop! Bee!

(Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans

freak out)

Stand back. These are winter boots.

(Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but

Vanessa saves him last second)

VANESSA:

Wait!

Don't kill him!

(Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him)

KEN:

You know I'm allergic to them!

This thing could kill me!

VANESSA:

Why does his life have

less value than yours?

KEN:

Why does his life have any less value

than mine? Is that your statement?

VANESSA:

I'm just saying all life has value. You

don't know what he's capable of feeling.

(Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can

carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement)

KEN:

My brochure!

19 notes · View notes

pyreo · 3 years ago

Text

deltarune megapost

I wanted to make a Deltarune post about the lore and the things that aren’t obvious. And once I do that I wanna focus on why Mettaton is incredibly important to this setting

And also why he poses a problem

Why did Toriel and Asgore get divorced?

Without the setting of Undertale, Asgore and Toriel’s marriage still broke up after they had Asriel. There needs to be a reason though. In UT it was Asgore’s ‘worst of both worlds’ decision regarding killing anybody that fell from the human world, including children. We saw how close they were before this happened. Only something deep and serious caused that rift. In Deltarune, what on earth did Asgore do?

What happened to Dess?

Mentioned a handful of times by Noelle, Dess was her older sister and is mentioned In Undertale.... in that Xbox exclusing casino thing. The way Noelle talks about her, the conspicuous way Noelle gets locked out of her big house - it implies Dess is gone or deceased. Berdly recalls a spelling bee when he and Noelle were younger where she, despite being smarter than him, misspelled ‘December’, allowing him to win.

In the two-player spelling puzzle, it also spells out ‘December’ as Noelle recalls the past and her silhouette regresses to a child while she does so. Being distracted by her sister’s disappearance, rather than pure shyness, could account for her misspelling her name on stage, and it clearly left a big psychological mark for her to have this visual regression in the Dark World.

However, there’s a graveyard in Hometown with no Dess. I heard another theory that she has been missing for years, because where each character’s personal room is made by Queen to reflect their tastes via their search results, Noelle has a calendar where every day is December 25th. This could imply that Noelle continually searches the internet for ‘December Holiday’, her sister’s name, to see if there are clues to her disappearance, but of course the only result you would get is the date of Christmas.

Who is the Knight?

It’s now implied to be Kris, who has been forcibly removing the player’s influence to act on their own. By all accounts the Knight is the game’s main antagonist. Spade King and Queen both mention the Knight as someone who influenced their position - they brought Spade King to absolute power, and showed Queen that creation of new worlds was possible.

We’re led to believe that Kris was doing this, because they’ve been acting outside of the player’s control. Eating the entire pie between chapter 1 and 2 might have been a red herring to cover that they also went to the library and used that knife to slash open a dark fountain there.

However. This has issues. How would they even manage to shuffle slowly all the way to the library and get in the computer lab? The Knight is also the one creating the hidden bosses. They talked to Jevil until he realised he was in a game and he lost his mind; they ruined Spamton’s life by elevating him to success and then crushing him. Whatever the Knight is doing seems to be deliberately planned with key players in mind.

Kris opening the fountain at home at the end of ch.2 can be explained in that you just figured out in Cyber World that anyone determined enough can do this, and so, Kris decided to. So a better question might even be...

What does Kris want?

We have no idea. They are capable of removing the SOUL, ‘us’, temporarily, and putting things in motion we cannot influence. But they also keep putting us back in control afterward. This is hinted at right when ch.2 starts, where if you inspect the cage in Kris’s bedroom they threw us into, the description says it’s inescapable. Meaning Kris came back and took us out, willingly.

They allow us to pilot them through the game. Why? Because they cannot live without the SOUL for long for some reason? Because they’re bad at bullet hell? Why did they slash Toriel’s tyres before opening the fountain, making sure nobody could drive away?? Why did they specifically open the door?

You can find out details about Kris through the creepy way you interact with the townsfolk, who think you are Kris. They play the piano at the hospital waiting room - better than you. They used to go to church just to get the special church juice. It’s all normal, relatable things, not like someone who’s trying to plunge the world into darkness. Judging by their search history portrayed in their Queen’s castle room, they really want to see their brother again. However the castle has a room based on Asriel’s search history too, and Kris (not you) closes their eyes and won’t look at it.

What is Ralsei?

His name is an anagram of Asriel. Is he an extension of Asriel? The slightly flirtier dialogue in ch.2 would point to no. Is he an extension of Kris themselves, given the link between Kris’s childhood habit of wearing a headband with red horns on it, to pretend to be a monster like their family?

Ralsei knows exactly where the Dark World in the school is located, and unlike regular Darkners, knows the world is folded up inside the ‘real world’. There’s a certain whiplash to Ralsei telling you to hop out of his reality into yours and go down the hallway to retrieve all the board game items.

How does he jump from one Dark World to another, without assistance? How does he not get petrified like Lancer and Rouxls? Is this a power level thing because he’s a prince or something else? We definitely do not know enough about Ralsei.

He also says this incredibly suspicious thing after you spare Spamton NEO. Susie was also curious but accepts that maybe it ‘didn’t mean anything’, which is a sure tell that these optional bosses do mean something.

Someone is orchestrating what’s happening, opening fountains, manipulating the rulers, and influencing NPCs to become the optional bosses. Why? I suspect Ralsei for both knowing too much, and pretending something doesn’t matter when it clearly does. Until Asriel actually comes home from college I’m going to suspect he’s involved in this too.

How much does Seam know?

Seam on the other hand knows a lot about what’s going on but is openly withholding information while helping you. He’s nihilistic. He says things like:

One day soon... You too, will begin to realize the futility of your actions. Ha ha ha... At that time, feel free to come back here. I'll make you tea... And we can toast... to the end of the world!

Either this ‘end of the world’ is a reference to The Roaring, where opening too many dark fountains dooms the Dark World and the real one... or, I can’t get out of my head the idea that Deltarune takes place in a fake, or weird reconstruction of Undertale where things don’t match up, and eventually it will have to disappear. After all, powers of determination and creating and manipulating universes are Undertale’s basic bread and butter. How can we look at an Alternate Universe containing the characters we already know and not suspect that? Seam also uses Gaster’s key words, ‘darker, yet darker’, seemingly to clue us in that he’s not off track here.

Why haven’t we seen Papyrus?

This is a bright neon flashing ‘something’s not right’ sign. It’s not like Papyrus’s voice actor was too busy or anything. His absence is noticable and for a reason. Nice of Sans to promise we could meet him despite being aware we’re piloting a child’s body around, though, even if he didn’t follow through.

What locations in town could be used for dark fountains in the next 4 chapters?

If the sequence continues, we have chapter 1 in the school games room, chapter 2 in a computer lab, and chapter 3 in front of Kris’s television, where the aesthetic of each setting influences the world, characters, and enemies in the Dark World created there. Future possibilities include the church, the hospital, sans’s grocery store, Noelle’s house, and the closed bunker.

What the hell’s in the closed bunker

This one’s too obvious, honestly. I think it’ll open for no reason in chapter 7 and a little white dog will bounce out and steal one of your key items and nothing else happens.

Why does Asgore have these

Unlike the bunker feeling like a joke teaser, I gotta believe this is foreshadowing something weird. For example, what does opening a dark fountain in here with the seven flowers do? Does it just take you into Undertale?

Each chapter will have a hidden boss with a ‘soul mode’ from Undertale

Chapter 1 let you stay red, but I think each subsequent chapter is going to change your soul mode to one of the seven colours and design the encounter around that. Purple, yellow, green and blue were used in Undertale, leaving the light blue and orange modes yet to be revealed.

How does Spamton emulate Mettaton Neo’s name, body, and incorporate his battle theme, and the ‘Dummy!’ theme, with no actual connection between them ingame?

This is a really fun one that’s explained over in this post here. Swatch is the Dark World creation from the paint program on the library computers, so he’s able to explain that a Lightner made the robot body decaying in the castle basement that way.

Mettaton went to the library and drew his ideal form, Mettaton NEO, in MS Paint, and the Dark World formed that into a puppet body which Spamton was able to hijack temporarily. So by doing that Spamton was able to channel Mettaton’s appearance, attacks, music, and SOUL mode for the fight.

This might mean that the future hidden bosses, each with their own SOUL mode, might be based on the associated character for that mode (Muffet, Undyne, and Sans or Papyrus), and the boss will take on some aspect of them from their world to leech their fight mechanics.

The Problem With Mettaton

We don’t exactly know what Deltarune is about. It’s an alternate universe where the characters from Undertale already live on the surface, have completely normal lives, but diverge from the storyline of Undertale and, crucially, have not lived through the changes Frisk brought to their lives.

Remember how Undertale had a dozen different ending routes depending on who you befriended? The constant reinforcement in Undertale was that your choices mattered. Through Frisk, you chose to bring Alphys closure about her mistakes, you chose to befriend papyrus instead of attacking him, you chose to help Alphys and Undyne realise their feelings for each other and it’s only doing that that leads to the golden ending and escape to the surface.

Deltarune is the opposite, your choices do not matter. The only thing you can do to force the route of the game to change is to force Noelle into a No Mercy run, which is indirect, and also, a total desperation to mess with an otherwise set course. This version of the characters have not been helped by Frisk - Undyne and Alphys are not together, Papyrus has no friends, Asgore cannot get over himself, and they’re clearly the worse for it, but potentially, you COULD still do these things. In fact it’s hinted that you already are.

But there’s Mettaton.

He’s still a ghost and does not leave his house. In Frisk’s world, Gaster deleted himself, promoting Alphys to royal scientist by bluffing with Mettaton, and she then build him his ideal body. In Kris’s world... Alphys is a school teacher. There’s no barrier to break, no reason to experiment on souls, no Flowey mistake, and no body for Mettaton.

It was sad in Ch.1, but now with the Spamton NEO fight in ch.2, it’s unmissable. Mettaton wants that body and he cannot get it. Alphys in this universe is not going to leave her teaching job and suddenly be able to build a robot. Mettaton is just... screwed out of his happy ending and cannot get it.

So what resolution could this have? If it wasn’t for Mettaton I might believe in the vaildity of Deltarune and Hometown. But. How can you doom this character? If Undertale was the only way Mettaton could be befriended, then Undertale is Primary Universe A and Seam is right - the world of Deltarune is doomed as some kind of aberration. It all relies on how this gets explained in the future, but the core mystery of Deltarune is how exactly this universe intersects with Undertale and whether one is an offshoot of the other. How the Dark World links into that is another complication. But even as we get more fun characters and neat stuff in the Dark Worlds, let’s not forget we have absolutely no idea why Undertale’s characters are living here with no mention of underground or why there are no other humans beside Kris.

#undertale #deltarune #welcome to my giant essay post

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syndianites · 3 years ago

Text

A Queen Serves and Protects

Chapter Two

Last Chapter --> Current --> Next Chapter!

Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Twenty four hours went by excruciatingly slow for Pollen.

First, she had to wait through the night. Chloe hadn’t unboxed her until late in the day, when the sun was almost gone. That left little time in the day for much interaction with others.

But she didn’t spend this time twiddling her thumbs. She did what research she could. After observing Chloe- who she learned the name of moments after their deal- meander on her phone and laptop for a few hours, she had a dubious grasp on how the current technology worked.

It was quite the adventure.

But after trial and error, she managed to look Chloe up on the internet. (And what a fascinating thing!). The results gave her a basic background; Daughter of the Mayor of Paris, Mother is a renowned expert in the fashion industry, and so on. She seemed clean, for all Pollen could tell.

So she searched her room. Most of what she could see was clearly expensive, from shiny new gadgets to prim and proper clothes. Beyond some Ladybug merchandise- and oh boy was this girl a fan of Ladybug- nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

A sneak around the hotel didn’t reveal much about Chloe, herself, but her parents on the other hand….

What disasters!

Calling their relationship dysfunctional would be a complement. They were completely polarized opposites, and not in the good, healthy way. Her mother was derisive and cruel, refusing to associate with those she believed were below her and didn’t meet her exceptional standards. Her father was, despite his position, a lapdog. He would bend over backwards to please his wife, acting like a doormat.

Together, they were the perfect image of an Evil Queen and her loyal Servant.

It didn’t give Pollen any good feelings about how Chloe herself would act. Would she take after her parents? Or would she be her own person?

Day time did not ease her fears. Chloe was brash and rude, clearly taking after her mother. She didn’t remember anyone’s names, was haughty and snappy towards her staff, and clearly was comfortable acting above everyone else.

Not a good sign at all.

The way she treated her ‘friend’ was yet another bad sign. Just like her mother had her father as a lapdog she, too, had her friend as a lapdog. However, Pollen took note of how she did remember her name. That must count for something, she considered doubtfully.

School was a disaster for Pollen.

Chloe started out just as haughty as she had in the hotel. Somehow, she got worse. Rude to other students, sneering at and belittling them, and outright mean. Treating her ‘friend’ as a servant. Disregarding other’s feelings. Causing chaos in the class.

There was little Pollen saw as redeemable for Chloe. Between her attitude towards those who worked for her and her family and those who she spent most of her time around, acts of kindness were nigh impossible to find.

As they made their way home, Pollen mulled over how to find Ladybug or Master Fu. In theory, she could try and call out to the other kwami, but such an act took a lot of power and could draw the attention of Hawkmoth or worse. She could camp out until Ladybug and Chat Noir had to come out for another akuma, but how would she manage to transport her miraculous across the city without getting snatched by said akuma?

But as Chloe walked into the lobby of the hotel, her mother’s voice caught her attention.

“Clara!” Audrey strutted up to her daughter, typing away at her phone with one hand. “I need you to fetch me something dear.”

‘Clara?’ Pollen mused, ‘Her name’s Chloe.’

Chloe perked up. “Of course mother. And my name’s Chloe. What can I do for you?”

Audrey waved her hand, “Whatever you say, Cindy. I heard that Adrien Agreste, Gabriel’s son, is in your class. I need you to ensure that Gabriel seated me in the correct location this time. The reshoot of the fashion show is today and I will not be in the second row again.”

From where she could just see Chloe from the gap in her purse, Pollen watched her face fall before she straightened back up with a nod. “Of course! Putting you in the second row is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!”

“Yes, yes, now please leave. I have business to attend to Carrie.” Audrey dismissed Chloe with a wave before heading deeper into the hotel.

Chloe, despite being misnamed three times in a row, seemed determined to please her mother. She gripped the handle of her bag tighter before rummaging in it to fish out her phone. Barely looking up, she wandered towards the elevator that would take her to her penthouse suite.

When the doors closed and left Chloe alone in the elevator, Pollen poked her head out of the bag. “Is it often your mother gets your name wrong?”

Her lips thinned as she pressed them together. “Yes.” Chloe’s response was short and clipped.

Pollen mulled this response over. Pieces of the puzzle that was Chloe were falling into place. As the doors opened again, Pollen ducked back down into the purse.

Chloe continued to text until a smile lit her face up. “Oh, Adrikins! I can always count on you.”

She skipped into her room, shooting a text to her mother- who didn’t respond- that her seat was guaranteed to be in the front row. Chloe went to toss her bag before remembering that it was occupied and lowering it down on a chair gently.

“Alright, Pollen, how was I? As great as you imagined I would be?” Chloe placed the back of her hand under her chin proudly.

In lieu of an answer, Pollen merely replied,”It hasn’t been twenty four hours yet, Chloe.”

Chloe groaned, grumbling complaints about how her heroic qualities should be obvious by now, but ultimately let it go. They had made a deal, after all.

“Oh,” Chloe said suddenly, “Sabrina will be coming over soon, so you’ll want to hide out for a while.”

A perfect opportunity to see what Chloe was like behind closed doors.

Turns out, she was strangely sweet.

Sabrina and Chloe played together like any teens would; watching shows together, gossiping- albeit in a less than kind way- doing each others’ make-up, and most embarrassingly playing ‘Ladybug and Chat Noir’. Despite herself, Pollen found it endearing.

Still, it was not enough to sway her. Endearing or not, Chloe was not fit for being a superhero.

///////

The fashion show was cute. True to word, Chloe and her family were sat in the front row where Audrey critiqued- quite loudly for such an event- each outfit that came about. A few she praised, but they were few and far between.

When Adrien Agreste appeared, the Style Queen gave an appreciative hum. “What quality craftsmanship. Surely an exceptional designer made that hat.”

It wasn’t until after the show that things went south.

Audrey had approached Adrien and, to many’s surprise, Gabriel Agreste in the flesh to discuss the fashion.

“My dear, it seems you’ve set up yet another exceptional line of clothing. That hat dear Adrien is wearing is quite the gem among them.” Audrey gushed to a polite but stone-faced Gabriel.

“Ah,” Gabriel began, “That hat is not a design of my own.”

Adrien piped up here, “It was actually made by a friend of mine! Marianette,” he called over his shoulder, locking eyes with a shocked dark haired girl. “Come show Audrey this hat you made!”

Nervous and stuttering, Marianette explained the logistics of her hat and its design, from the synthetic feather to the careful craftsmanship. Audrey, a known harsh critic, glowed as she listened.

“Fabulous, my dear!” she crowed, “I simply must see more of your work. How would you like to come to New York with me to design more fashion for a line of mine?”

Pollen, invested in the conversation, was pulled out of it by a shaking sensation. She looked up to see Chloe outright trembling as she pulled her hands into fists.

“Mother! Why would you take her of all people!” Chloe burst out. All eyes turned to her.

“Why, Connie, it’s because she is quite exceptional! I would recognize such talent a country away,” Audrey replied with a dismissive wave.

“So am I!”

A laugh. “Dear, the only exceptional thing about you is your mother.”

Had it not been for the hubbub of people around them, you could have heard a pin drop. Chloe stared resolutely at the floor, teeth grinding together and tears threatening to fall. Marianette, for her part, looked like a deer in headlights, stuck between a sharp drop off a cliff and an incoming car.

“Now Audrey,” Gabriel started, before getting cut off.

“I am exceptional!” Chloe shouted. “I will show you! I’m going to be a super heroine! Just you wait, I’ll be better than this girl will ever be!”

Audrey outright cackled. “Oh honey, keep dreaming. There is not a heroic bone in your body.”

Eyes watering and lips trembling, Chloe turned on a dime and stormed off. Pollen caught Marianette make an aborted move towards her, but was stopped by Adrien putting a hand on her arm.

Fuming and ready to bawl, Chloe bust out the front doors and began running down the sidewalk. For minutes, safely tucked into Chloe’s bag, all Pollen can hear is hard footsteps, people shouting, and Chloe’s heavy breathing.

After hearing doors slam open and closed repeatedly, Chloe and Pollen are left in silence. When Pollen braved a look out the purse, she sees that they have found their way back to the locker room at Chloe’s school. Seeing that they were alone, she moved out into the open.

“Fuck!” Chloe exploded. “How dare she!”

Feeling the rage roiling off Chloe, Pollen rushed to calm her. “Chloe, take a deep breath. Give yourself a minute to let it simmer.”

Icy eyes shot up to look at Pollen. “Take a breath? Let it simmer? Are you kidding! I have done my best to make my mother see I am exceptional, so show her that I am good enough, and what does she do? Invites Dupain-Cheng of all people to go with her to New York.”

Pacing back and forth in front of the benches, Chloe growled. “Do you know when the last time I saw my mother for more than a day was? Years ago! Years, Pollen!” Tears trickled down her cheeks as Chloe caved in on herself. “I’ve done my best to be just like her, to show her I can be great too. Why won’t she ever look at me?”

With a hesitant pause, Pollen reached a paw out to Chloe’s shoulder. “Some people can’t be pleased, Chloe. You shouldn’t base your self worth on the word of another.”

Chloe jerked her shoulder away, turning her back to Pollen. “You don’t understand.”

“My mother left when I was young.” She walked forward towards the door so that she could peer out the window. “I didn’t understand why. She didn’t even say goodbye.”

“But,” Chloe continued, “If I can just get her to see that I’m worth staying for, she’ll stay here. Maybe, just maybe, I can convince her to be part of our family again.”

Red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks turned back to Pollen. “It’s just so hard. She hardly cares for me at all.”

A pause. “Pollen?” Chloe bit her lip. “Am I unlovable?”

“Of course not. Chloe, no one is beyond love. Not even the worst of people.” Pollen could feel the tides shifting. Before, she was determined to leave Chloe behind. But now? Her heart ached at the thought of abandoning her.

Chloe starts to say something else, but all Pollen could hear was the flap of wings. Her eyes flicked to behind Chloe to where the locker room door was just set ajar. A delicate butterfly of deep, cracked purple squeezed its way inside.

“Chloe!” Pollen yelled. But it was too late. The butterfly touched down on her white sunglasses and disappeared without a sound.

A sudden blank look came across Chloe’s face. A purple butterfly mask appeared across her eyes. Every part of Pollen screamed that she was in danger. Not just from an akumatized Chloe, but from Hawkmoth knowing that she was with Chloe.

Her eyes darted around the room. She needed to hide. It would be safer for the both of them if she kept herself unknown.

“Yes, Hawkmoth.”

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml #chloe bourgeois #chloe bourgeois redemption #pollen #pollen (ladybug)#kwami pollen #bee miraculous #bee!chloe #original akuma #shit mom Audrey #im bad at tagging on tumblr #ml fanfic #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste

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miraculouswolf99 · 4 years ago

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Akumatized: Valid Or Not

This is basically a list of every akumatized that has appeared so far. There will be four types of categories that they will be put into that say whether or not their reason for being akumatized was valid or not.

Categories:

1. Valid- The reason they were akumatized is completely understandable and could happen to anyone.

2. Semi-Valid- It is still understandable, but for things that are relatively normal. Like losing a contest, being rejected by a crush, or failing a test.

3. You Brought This On Yourself- Akumatized over something that was basically their fault to begin with and is not valid at all.

4. What The Hell- An akumaization that makes no sense at all and most likely not really much of a reason to be akumatized in the first place.

Season One:

Nino Lahiffe- Bubbler: Valid. Gabriel is a jerk that would not let his son's best friend throw him a birthday party.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: Semi-Valid. Was just trying to feed the pigeons, but had been aware that there was a rule/law against it.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Semi-Valid. Lost a contest, but almost had it rubbed in her face when she was told that she lost by a lot.

Alix Kubdel- Timebreaker: Valid. Had her family heirloom destroyed not even an hour after she got it because other people did not put a pocket watch in their pocket when she asked them to hold it during her race.

Théo Barbot- Copycat: Semi-Valid. Believed that the girl he had a crush on was dating someone else, but was treating the situation more that she was an object that he could take if he wanted to.

Jalil Kubdel- Pharaoh: Valid. While it is never a good idea to try and resurrect the dead, his father rejected his theory about the spell even when they were in a city of magical heroes and villains.

Alya Césaire- Lady Wifi: Semi-Valid. Was wrongly suspended because Chloe was being a brat. She may have been taking pictures of Chloe's locker, but the door was open and Chloe had accused her of breaking into it.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg- The Evillustrator: Valid. Was embarrassed by having his crush revealed by a bully and humiliated when the drawings of his crush were revealed to everyone.

Roger Raincomprix- Rogercop: Semi-Valid. Was wrongfully fired for not arresting a girl that the mayor's daughter accused of theft even without proof, but had not done any sort of investigation at all about the missing bracelet.

Lê Chiến Kim- Dark Cupid: Valid. May have been rejected by his crush but had his heart broken on Valentine's day and humiliated by the girl he had a crush on.

Mylène Haprèle- Horrificator: Semi-Valid. We all get scared and she was trying to be brave for the film, but she was also the one that purposely signed up to be the lead in a horror movie.

Armand D'Argencourt- Darkblade: Semi-Valid. Lost the mayoral election, but was also running because he thought that he should reclaim his family's lost seat of power from back in medieval times. It's been hundreds of years, man. Get over it.

Fred Haprèle- Mime: Valid. Was wrongfully fired from his job because a co-worker had sabotaged him to gain the lost job for himself.

Jean Duparc- Magician of Misfortune: What The Hell. We were never even given a reason for why he was akumatized in the first place.

Rose Lavillant- Princess Fragrance: Valid. Simply wanted to give a letter to a prince to thank him for all the charity work he does, but the letter was destroyed by a bully.

Ivan Bruel- Stoneheart: Valid. Believed that his crush rejected him while also being bullied/teased over the crush in the first place. Was also bullied over being akumatized in the first place and called a monster.

Otis Césaire- Animan: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because a teenage boy thought that he could out-run a panther. Even for a zookeeper, is that really something to be upset about?

Simón Grimault- Simon Says: Valid. May have lost a contest, but was basically cheated out of a win because Gabriel did not even really seem like he was going to participate in the first place and he was not even given the chance to try his act.

Vincent Aza- Pixelator: You Brought This On Yourself. A creepy stalker that wants a picture of his favorite rock star and will try anything to get it. "Yicks" is all I have to say.

Jagged Stone- Guitar Villain: Valid. Was told that he had to change his look and music to the complete opposite of his own just because his manager liked a teenage pop star more than him.

Wang Cheng- Kung Food: Valid. He lost a contest, but that was only because Chloe was a brat that sabotaged him.

Max Kanté- Gamer: Semi-Valid. He lost a chance to be in a video game contest but was more upset over losing his chance because he lost to a girl.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta: Valid. She was trying to break her "photo curse" but lost her chance because Chloe had her locked in the bathroom so she could stand next to her crush/obsession.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Valid. She is a little girl that was simply trying to win a game and did not really see why having a doll that was given to her was wrong.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Vanisher: Valid. Had a fight with her best friend and then said best friend also pretended that she was invisible because she was a brat.

Chloé Bourgeois- Antibug: You Brought This On Yourself. She was a brat that was called out for lying about being the reason for an akumaization by the hero that she admired.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She was called out for lying about being best friends with a superhero and trying to claim that she was also a hero with a fake miraculous. Karma will always come back to bite you, Liar Rossi.

Season 2:

Santa Claus- Santa Claws: Valid. Was trying to be a good samaritan, but was instead accused of kidnapping by a superhero.

Gabriel Agreste- Collector: You Brought This On Yourself. Gabriel is Hawkmoth and he akumatized himself. Need I say more.

Nadja Chamack- Prime Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Her job may have been on the line, but she was willing to leave out information and use a picture taken out of context as her "proof" that the heroes were a couple.

Jean- Despair Bear: You Brought This On Yourself. Was trying to use humiliation to try and make a spoiled brat change her ways and was doing it in front of her class.

Kagami Tsurugi- Riposte: Valid. Thought that a single loss against a formidable opponent meant that she had lost her honor because of an over strict mother.

Gina Dupain- Befana: Semi-Valid. Had a hard time realizing that her grandaughter was growing up, but all grandparents feel that way.

Markov- Robostus: Valid. Even as a robot, he still had feelings, but was told he was just a toy and locked away like an object.

Mr. Damocles- Dark Owl: You Brought This On Yourself. If you are a high school principal with no reason or skill to become a hero, don't try and be one while exhausting the real heroes in the process because they keep having to save you.

August- Gigantitan: Valid. He's a literal baby.

André- Glaciator: Semi-Valid. Was told that the special "soulmate" ice cream that he believed in was not magical, but it was still only one girl that did not want that ice cream.

Ella and Etta Césaire- Sapotis: You Brought This On Yourself. They may be young girls, but they had repeatedly been told to go to bed and were rightfully punished for their bad behavior.

Adrien's bodyguard/The Gorilla- Gorizilla: Valid. He was just trying to do his job and was having an extra stressful day with his charge running off and disappearing with almost half of Paris looking for him.

Anarka Couffaine- Captain Hardrock: Valid. Roger was a jerk to her, telling her that her loud music could not be played during the festival instead of simply telling her to turn it down a little.

Clara Nightingale- Frightningale: Valid. Was told that she could not perform or shoot her music video in France anymore because Chloe was being a brat over not being the star in the music video.

Ondine- Syren: Semi-Valid. She believed that she was rejected by her crush, but there had actually not been any real rejected on Kim's part.

Caline Bustier- Zombizou: Semi-Valid. While she took the akuma to protect her student, the akuma was only there because she made her student believe that she was in trouble for being a victim of bullying

Philippe- Frozer: Valid. He is close to losing his business because of the lack of customers.

Audrey Bourgeois- Style Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. She is a grown woman throwing a temper tantrum because she had to sit in the second row of a fashion show.

Penny Rolling- Troublemaker: Valid. Give the woman a bloody break. She deserves it for putting up with you crazy people and a freaking crocodile every day.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois-Queen Wasp: You Brought This On Yourself. While she had been trying to impress the mother she thought would never love her, she still stole a miraculous, almost caused a train to crash, and used her powers selfishly.

Marc Anciel-Reverser: Valid. He had his notebook destroyed and confidence ruined after trying to put himself out there for the first time because of a big misunderstanding between himself, Nathaniel, and Marinette.

Nora Césaire- Anansi: Semi-Valid. She was trying to protect her sister, but was being super overprotective and did not have faith in actual superheroes.

André Bourgeois- Malediktator: Valid. He was trying to keep his family happy and together but was faced against a brat of a daughter and a controlling wife where neither respected him.

Boy- Sandboy: Semi-Valid. He was a little boy that had a frightening nightmare, but nightmares are pretty common and normal in life.

Lila Rossi- Volpina: You Brought This On Yourself. She wanted to be akumatized and gladly welcomed the chance to be a villain again.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brough This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized. Nothing more needs to be said.

Rena Rouge/Alya Cesair- Rena Rage: Valid. Took a negative emotions arrow for her boyfriend and had all her love put in reverse and turned into rage.

Carapace/Nino Lahiffe- Shell Shock: Valid. Just saw his superhero girlfriend be akumatized and was both losing hope and was hit by a negative emotions arrow.

Heroes' Day Villains: Valid. They all believed that one of their town heroes had been killed by the akumatized form of their other main hero. They had lost hope.

Season 3:

Lila Rossi- Chameleon: You Brought This On Yourself. She literally grabbed the akuma out of the air purposely got akumatized to try and ruin Adrien's friendships and get another shot at defeating Ladybug.

Thomas Astruc- Animaestro: What The Hell. So, he was akumatized because no one recognized him as a director of an animation movie. I did not really understand it. He was a director of an animation movie. Why would anyone recognize him if they had not seen the movie credits and know who the director was in the first place?

Rolland Dupain- Bakerix: What The Hell. I'm still confused over him. Was he akumatized because Marinette lied about who she was or was it because he was upset over modern baking techniques outshining his own? I did not get it.

Marianne Lenoir- Backwarder: Valid. She had been waiting a long time for the person that she loved, only to believe that he no longer cared for her.

Max Kanté- Gamer 2.0: Semi-Valid. He could not find a person to test out the game that he had made and was told no by a lot of people. A person can only take rejection for so long.

Tom Dupain- Weredad: Valid. He wanted to protect his daughter from heartbreak and was a victim of a lie gone way out of hand.

Luka Couffaine- Silencer: Valid. The song, look, and music that he and his friends created was stolen and his friend had been threatened when they tried to get their music back.

Kagami Tsurugi- Oni-Сhan: Valid. She might have been jealous, but that was only because Liar Rossi lied her way into her friend's home, kissed him without his permission, and claimed that the two were a couple even when he was obviously uncomfortable with her kissing him.

Sabrina Raincomprix- Miraculer: Semi-Valid. She was yelled at by her friend even though she was simply trying to help her after she fought off being akumatized.

Alya Césaire & Nino Lahiffe- Oblivio: What The Hell. They were akumatized over being caught playing a silly video game. That is a very stupid reason.

Wayhem- Party Crasher: Valid. He thought that his friend lied to him about not being able to have friends over and was then rejected at the door of his friend's house when he thought that there was a party there he could attend.

Chris Lahiffe- Christmaster: Semi-Valid. He was upset over not being able to get his presents early, but what kid wouldn't be upset over that.

Manon Chamack- Puppeteer: Semi-Valid. Wanted to play with the big kids and felt ignored by them all day. But that is pretty common for little kids to feel, especially when older siblings and their friends are involved.

Aurore Beauréal- Stormy Weather: Valid. Not only were her grades slipping, but she was also ridiculed by a bully, bullied by her saying 'once a villain always a villain.'

Ms. Mendeleiev- Kwamibuster: Semi-Valid. She was humiliated on live television when trying to prove herself as a great scientist, but she had not even bothered to look at the footage she had before going on the show.

Dormant Sentimonster- Feast: What The Hell. An akumatized sentimonster. I have officially seen it all now.

Juleka Couffaine- Reflekta/Reflectdoll: Valid. She was trying to start her dream of being a model but was basically chased out because Alya was pushing her matchmaking over her friend's dream.

Tomoe Tsurugi- Ikari Gozen: Semi-Valid. Her daughter had disobeyed her to play a game that she did not think was worth the time, but she was still an overly strict mother that was trying to control her daughter's every move.

Vivica- Desperada: Valid. She was fired for a completely ridiculous reason and her boss was quick to try and find a replacement for her.

Claudie Kanté- Startrain: Valid. She was a nervous wreck over if she was close to achieving her dream of being an astronaut while also being a worried mother about having to leave her son if she did get accepted into training.

Xavier Ramier- Mr. Pigeon: You Brought This On Yourself/What The Hell. This guy had been akumatized about 24 times. Enough said.

Future Chris Lahiffe- Timetagger: What The Hell. We are never even given a reason why he was akumatized in the first place.

Cat Noir- Cat Blanc: Valid. He had just found out that his father is the supervillain that has been terrorizing Paris for years and that the mother that disappeared has been under his house the entire time in a coma.

Alya Césaire/Rose Lavillant/Juleka Couffaine- Lady Wifi/Princess Fragrance/Reflekta: Valid. They believed that their friend had sent a horrible message to them in return for their heartfelt messages about them supporting him in his time of pain.

Nathalie Sancoeur- Catalyst: You Brought This On Yourself. She was willingly akumatized again, nothing more and nothing less.

André & Audrey Bourgeois- Heart Hunter: Semi-Valid. They had been fighting and not as in-love as they probably had been once upon a time, but they had never thought about a marriage counselor before.

Queen Bee/Chloe Bourgeois- Miracle Queen: You Brought This On Yourself. Even after being told that she will not get the bee miraculous back, she still tries getting it from Ladybug multiple times. And then she willingly works with Hawkmoth.

#gabriel salt #lila salt #chloe salt #ml salt #akuma list #akumatization

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guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom · 4 years ago

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No One Lives Forever Not Even God

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader

Warnings: Language, Insomnia, mentions of antidepressants, mentions of drugs, drug use, mentions of addiction, mentions of nazis, parental neglect, mentions of the dead, cemeteries, mentions of meltdowns, corrupt government, mentions of cancer, low self esteem, self destructive behavior, medical testing, thoughts of murder, mentions of injury, and mentions of knives,

Word Count: 6.1k

Songs: Mother- Pink Floyd, He Can Only Hold Her- Amy Whinehouse, A Pearl- Mitski, Me and My Husband- Mitski, Saint Bernard- Lincon, Why Didn't You Stop Me?- Mistki, Nuestro Planeta- Kali Uchis, You Know I'm No Good-Amy Whinehouse, and Love Is a Losing Game- Amy Whinehouse.

"I’ve been in a very poetic mood lately. I think it’s funny how anything could be considered poetry and something you relate too. Like Twitter or any other social media and the ongoing gag of people feeling the need to announce the fact that they’re making moves in silence. But that’s what I’m doing, making moves in silence. If anyone is in my business now I’m politely asking you to remove yourself from it before I make you.”

A/N: I only did one proofread so sorry if there are typos and this is just more of an infodump to set up other chapters so enjoy ig. I almost gonna start another series a social media AU let me know if you'd want to be tagged in either of these series.

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

Nightmares come while I’m asleep but, when I’m awake the nightmares of the day just come for me then, so really I’m just stuck. I would like to say the antidepressants are working, it's just the insomnia that comes with them isn't working for me. I’m honestly starting to think mood stabilizers would do me better.

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?

I’m not sure I could blame this all on the pills though. I’d have to give some of the credit to the massive bombshell that a certain ex Avenger had dropped on me.

It's almost like every five seconds a new giant secret about my mom is unveiled to me. Like sure I saw from the video that she’d left me that she had associations with some bad people like Kingpin but nazis?

SHIELD had apparently collapsed because it was infiltrated by Hydra but it was prevalent while my mom was still alive. Seems like she had worked for or with everyone who was anyone. I’m just gonna give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn’t know because up until two weeks ago I didn’t either.

Her and Natasha had been recruited at the same time and worked together but for someone who claims to have been so close to her you’d think she’d know that she was dead. “She went off the grid and that was the last I heard from her,” is all she gave me with a smile that even I could tell was fake and I’d just met the woman.

You know when grown folks come up to you and expect you to remember them because they met you once while you were like in the womb that’s kinda my relationship with Natasha. She knows so much about me and I know absolutely nothing about her save for the fact she's a spy meaning she’d be a great liar.

She used to babysit me sometimes if I could trust what she says that is. Apparently I called her “Auntie Nat”. For some reason no one ever thought it was a good idea to inform me that I had a godmother. Maybe they did and I just forgot.

I thought they were supposed to take care of you when something happened to your parents. And the one who’s alive is about as useless as the other. It might be fun to have another person that was considered family. Just maybe not a spy at least I’d know she’d walk out of my life so I won’t get attached.

Mother, do you think they'll like the song?

“Hey mom,” I sighed sitting down in the light dusting in front of her tombstone. “I know it’s been a while and I’ve got a lot to catch you up on,”

It took a bit of digging before I found what I was looking for in my bag. I ran my fingers along the cold surface of the small jewelry box. There was puffy white glue holding the larger pieces together.

I placed the box in the grass sitting next to the tombstone. I removed a purple coiled bracelet and sat it next to the box.

I tucked my legs under my body admiring the piece of jewelry.

“I brought you a bracelet,” I spoke. “It’s kinda like a friendship bracelet cause I have the other. I don’t know if I should leave it here in case someone steals it,” I laughed. “You’d have to be a real shitty person to steal from a cemetery though,”

I curse so often I didn’t realize I did it until I had already done it.

“Ah sorry! Excuse my French,” I chuckled.

“I met Natasha Romanoff and she said she knew you. She said she knew me too. I don’t remember her though…” I trailed off.

For someone who claimed to have a lot to say I sure was at a loss for words. I just didn’t know how to get any of them out.

“Oh! You’re not gonna believe me if I tell you but I got to meet some of the Avengers. Most of them were new though. You’d know some of them. Like Captain America I wanted his help but he couldn’t provide it,”

I had a bit of an episode when I was told no one knew where Thor was. I think it was justified though.

How the fuck do you lose two Avengers let alone the ones that can’t possibly be hidden. One is green and huge and the other leaves lightning bolts everywhere they go.

Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?

“The other is Natasha but I don’t think I really knew that yet. She went by Black Widow. I’m sure you knew that though. You probably know a lot,”

I wonder how many secrets she never told me about. I mean I could only imagine all the secrets working for the government would let you in on. Like she probably knew about big stuff like the Tesseract and aliens maybe she could’ve known about that.

“Okay I have a question. I have a lot actually but I think if you answer them I’m gonna get up and run out of here,” I joked.

“Number one is my middle name Natalia because of your SHIELD buddy? Like it might just be a coincidence but it could also be a godmother typa situation or something,”

It was a running theory. She would’ve known my mom before I was born. And if what I was told is true they’d be pretty close too and Natasha translates back to Natalia and I know she’s Russian. It makes sense.

Ooh

Mother, should I build the wall?

“Uh… there’s this boy,”

When was there not? It seems like there was always someone in my life. Carmen in therapist mode said it’s because I put my self worth into my relationship status.

“He’s really nice. Like really really nice. Nicer than anybody I’ve ever been associated with. It’s just he’s like…” I didn't know how to put the next part into words. “He’s just too nice. Too nice for me at least. Like he’s such a good person and I’m just me,”

“And it’s I feel bad,” I sighed. I was getting myself too worked up over this. “Like I keep playing like a game of tug a war with him where I let him in and kick him out again it’s tiring. I don’t even do it on purpose. I feel like we could be something maybe. But I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen. It’s a self defense mechanism. At least I think.”

I do it with everyone. I shut them out before they can get it. The less people you let into your life the less people that can walk out.

It’s a bulletproof tactic. At least I used to think it was. Never realized people could get hurt including myself.

“I saw dad,” I informed myself? I guess I’m not sure how healthy it is to have a conversation with someone you know can’t respond and isn't listening. “Like two days ago actually I didn’t say anything I freaked out and ran away. It made me think though,”

Mother, should I run for president?

Made me think about how I’d done so well on my own. Well I’m not gonna take all the credit, most of it was Carmen keeping my ass in line. I haven’t talked to her in a while. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while.

”I found a small studio apartment in Queens. It was the cheapest one I could find. I’m just renting it like an Airbnb right now. I need to find a permanent place and a job,”

I couldn’t find a permanent place at my age unless I had full autonomy which leads me to my next topic.

“So I was thinking about getting emancipated which everything would’ve been a lot easier if you were here then we could just go to court for custody cause you’d win for sure.”

Mother, should I trust the government?

“I know you never got to know how corrupt SHIELD was but do they like keep tabs on everyone who does anything to them or related to them? Because like I did a little snooping and I know they had files for all the Avengers and other people like Kingpin.”

I knew I was going to have to do more than sit here and ask a dead person what to do but ranting to someone who couldn’t spill my secrets was a start.

“I was just wondering how deep it went or if they had hidden stuff on me,”

Mother, will they put me in the firing line?

It’s probably common knowledge that if you mess with the government they’ll mess back. I’d like to think they were like bees. You leave them alone they’ll leave you alone. Only stinging when provoked.

But every branch of the government is like a wasp. They don’t die if they sting and they’ll sting you for no reason at all. They just like to see people in pain.

And I’m sure the energy research branch of SHIELD would probably be more than interested in a walking fire bomb that can move things without touching them.

I mean I’m not going to stop poking things around until I figure out what’s wrong with me. So might as well not complain.

“So I don’t have many things figured out right now and the whole you and SHIELD thing only confused me more so if you could just like come tell me what to do just this once that’d be great,” I laughed.

At first I was contemplating if this was weird or not but hearing me say that I now know this is pathetic. It always has been.

Ooh

Is it just a waste of time?

But I didn’t know if I should keep searching. Maybe I should just pretend like I’d never gotten introduced to the world of powers or mutations at all. For all I know Peter, Carmen, Felicia, Wade and I are just normal people who do normal people stuff.

Sure I wanted answers but I didn’t want to end up like those people who spend their whole life searching for an answer they won’t find any and end up never living at all.

Like a quote my mom used to say all the time “The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all,”

She really just used it so she didn’t have to listen to being put on bed rest but it obviously had a deeper meaning and she knew that.

I keep finding myself stuck on that phrase. That and the whole when the dust settles poem.

I’ve been in a very poetic mood lately. I think it’s funny how anything could be considered poetry and something you relate too.

Like Twitter or any other social media and the ongoing gag of people feeling the need to announce the fact that they’re making moves in silence.

But that’s what I’m doing, making moves in silence. If anyone is in my business now I’m politely asking you to remove yourself from it before I make you.

“Uh I don’t know if I should even tell you this cause you died before it was even a problem in the first place but…” I blew out a breath digging my feet deeper into the ground.

“I’ve been clean for like two weeks now. Which is actually a thing I’m pretty proud of right now.”

I’d stopped using everything except weed, nicotine because those weren’t drugs and even then I used it way less than before. Oh, and my antidepressants too but that’s obviously okay they’re prescribed.

I hated the word clean made me seem like an addict which I wasn’t. I’m many things but I wasn’t an addict. I just didn’t know of any other words to use.

I wasn’t an addict but I’d say the lines between recreational use and dependency were blurring just a bit. I had gotten it straight though. I’m good now. The antidepressants are helping.

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry

“You have a superpower of just making people feel better immediately. I don’t know if it was the fact you were my mom or what but if you even just put a bandaid on a stab wound it’d probably stop hurting and disappear,”

I wasn’t even exaggerating there was this one time I got hurt at the zoo and she just kissed it and I forgot about the fact that I even fell.

I’m not sure how true that is though because I couldn’t actually recall the memory I was just told about it by my mom a few years after it happened. So I guess I remember not remembering then being reminded. Weird.

“I wanna see the giraffes!” Aaliyah cried, stomping her feet down on the concrete.

This was one of the only times mom didn’t have to work on the weekends and Liyah had to have her way like always.

“Mom!” I screamed “Tell her you said we could see the lions first,”

She just sighed. “Well since she’s the youngest do you think you could be nice and let her go first please?”

“Fine,” I huffed. I wasn’t doing it for Liyah, I was doing it for mom. Even a blind person could see how tired she’d been lately.

Liyah laughed at me sticking her tongue out. She’s such a brat.

“You’re so dumb.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“I know you are but what am I ?” She teased hitting my shoulder before running away.

I took off after her. She may have been fast but I knew I could catch up to her.

I almost had her when my foot got caught on something. It launched me towards the ground and I put my hands down to catch myself but I still hit my knee.

I slid on the concrete scuffing my leg. I didn’t scream because that would make me weak and it didn't hurt that bad. I just bit my lip and stood up.

I didn’t want to limp but it hurt too much to put pressure on my leg.

Liyah had beat me back to mom and when I reached them she was already apologizing.

Fake.

She was just scared to get in trouble. I wasn’t gonna snitch on her anyways.

“Let me see it,” Mom asked, grabbing my arm, pulling me to sit down on a stonehenge.

She reached into her purse and pulled out a first aid kit. She always had everything in her purse. It was kinda like a super power. The black Marry Poppins.

She wiped the scrape with an alcohol wipe and I just barely hissed. It didn’t even really hurt anymore.

She placed a bandaid on it, smoothing her hands on top of it before placing a kiss there.

“There,” She wiped her hands on her thighs before standing up “All better?”

I nodded my head and we went off to see the giraffes because I’m nice like that.

“In case you were wondering, Aaliyah still always gets her way even now. I’d say she’s got me beat on the manipulation game honestly,”

It’s fine though I taught her everything she knows not everything I know. I could still get one over on her if needed.

Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true

“I found your pendant, the SHIELD one. Which I guess makes all of this real no matter how much I want it to be fake. I just want this to be a poorly written book where I wake up and the past five years were all a dream,”

God knows how much I meant that. Well maybe I didn’t mean it too much because some people I’ve met in the past five years are people I don’t think I could survive very long without. Even though I kinda exploded on everyone so maybe I’m gonna have to test my theory on how long I can really survive.

“Hey Doc,” I greeted pushing up the door of the restaurant.

“Hey sweetheart, how ya been?” He queried.

“I’ve been better,”

“I hear ya,” He nodded.

Once we were in the back of the restaurant aka his office. I pulled out the diamond. Doc knew everything about everyone and anything. He could also make a duplicate of anything you gave him.

“Whatcha got for me?” He asked, rubbing his hands together.

“This, I’m not sure what it is,”

I placed the bird pendant on the desk. I found it in a shoe box filled with my mom's stuff.

“I was wondering if you knew,”

He lifted it up to his eye to get a better view, His eyesight so bad that his glasses were practically a magnifying glass.

“It’s a crest, I don’t think I’ve seen this before it’s most likely from a government branch,” He placed it back down on his messy desk. “I can do some more extensive research for you if you’d like,”

“Yes, that’d be great,”

“Stop by again tomorrow and I’ll fill you

I wish I never went back to Doc’s place or found out about flash drive, Vulture, SHIELD, any of it. Just when I thought my life couldn’t get anymore fucked up the devil came out the woodworks and spit in my face.

Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you

“I remember all that testing they did after I agreed to do whatever Stark needed me to do sooo badly. I still don’t really know what he did- or he’s doing with all that DNA and other stuff he’d gotten from me,”

Aren’t the Avengers and by default Tony Stark products of SHIELD so wouldn't that mean whoever’s behind all of that could’ve been the one to tell Tony about the fire thing in the first place.

That had been the main thing about the whole Stark situation that I still couldn’t figure out. Someone needs to tell me how he found out and they better tell me now.

“There are multiple lacerations 1-2 inches lining the upper and lower abdomen,” The doctor lady announced to her assistant. Before moving her cold hand away from my side pushing my shirt back down.

Okay that’s chill nothing I haven’t had before.

“We’re gonna have to do another X-ray is that okay?” Her assistant asked. I wasn’t going to bother to learn their names. I was planning to stay that long anyways.

What’s the point? They’re just going to come back and say the machine is broken and then do another blood test.

“Yeah sure,”

I was led into a much bigger room than the last. There was much more machinery too.

I was strapped down to a cold blue cushioned table by leather straps. Straps weren’t really necessary, not like I was planning on lashing out and mauling anyone.

I closed my eyes when the flashes of the machine went off. Apparently I had fractured three of my ribs and bruised my sternum.

You’d think they’d let me go now but noooo they need more blood and then when they were done drawing blood.

They had to hook me up to a machine to monitor- I don’t even fucking know what they were monitoring.

I just know I had all the pads with wires on my temples and chest and everywhere else. It reminded me of that one time I had to do a sleep study.

Except they didn’t have holographs to read off and fancy probably government funded tech then. They sure as hell didn’t have all this whispering either. Or maybe they did and I was just unconscious.

Still I didn’t even want to actually be here and I was cold for once.

“How much long do we have here?” I groaned.

“Not much longer. We just have and MRI left,”

Yeah right. I was gonna be in here for the rest of my life

“I could probably go back there if I wanted answers,” I spoke quietly.

“But I don’t want the government in my business like that well at least just not more than they probably are already at least and the tests are so invasive,”

Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing

That’s not the only invasive thing in my life. Or should I say was in my life? I don’t fucking care really.

My dad was somehow the strictest and the most lenient person ever. I think he just wanted control.

I used to blame his alcoholism for everything he did but no really he’s just a shitty person. A shitty person who likes to beat on women and take doors off the hinges.

“You are so pathetic!” My mom screamed at my dad.

They had been at this all night. For so long that I’m seriously contemplating jumping out of this small window right now.

Sapphire had no qualms sleeping on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Aaliyah and I however were still wide awake.

I’m not sure exactly what was going on in her head but I’m assuming we're still up for the same reason. To kill our dad if he even touches our mom.

I had a kitchen knife in hand as I sat on the bathroom sink. I always had a knife every time my dad started yelling a little too aggressively just in case but this time felt different. Like I was really prepared to stab him this time.

I didn’t know what it was but something felt off.

“Are they done?” Aaliyah asked, rubbing her eyes. The apartment had fallen silent.

“I don’t know. Stay here,” I hopped down off the sink.

I should’ve known she wasn’t gonna listen to me. The kitchen was empty which means they must’ve moved to their room.

The next moment was the sort straight out of a family sitcom except the family was falling apart and the kids were going crazy but otherwise it could’ve very well been an “oopsie” misunderstanding moment. Where the younger child asks “Are mommy and daddy getting a divorce?”

Then the oldest child pulls them into their body and whispers “I dunno kiddo,” or “No they’re just going through a rough patch,” anything like that.

Except it wasn’t that. That wasn’t what she said and that wasn’t what Aaliyah asked me.

God how I wish that was what she asked me.

I have a bad habit of acting before I think. I opened the door opening my mouth to let out the words in my brain.

“You’re dying? How are you dying?”

They both turned to look at me like they were just noticing they weren’t alone.

My mom sighed moving closer to me grabbing my arm.

“I’m- Im not no ones dying,”

The door creaked as Aaliyah pushed her way into the room.

“But you said ‘I need you to step up you need to know how to handle it when I’m dead’,” She paraphrased cleaning out the cuss words.

“It didn’t mean literally dying right now,”

Now I could see how this could be us just jumping to conclusions from like two sentences but she had been weird lately. Like she’s always traveled a lot and been secretive but lately she’s been extra secretive.

And I could tell the secret wasn’t to protect herself so whos to say it wasn’t the fact she was currently dying. It actually makes perfect sense.

I’m starting to wish I wasn’t always right. Stage 4 Lymphoma. Basically we should go coffin shopping pretty soon.

If only she wasn’t so selfish and would get treatment for it. She couldn’t leave me here by myself. Who’s gonna take care of us if she dies.

I’d thought about it before and I decided I’d take on the role of caregiver for my sisters but then it was only a what if situation.

Wade has cancer and he’s not dead but that’s only because he got pumped with like super drugs shit.

Now I just needed to find some super drugs and figure out how to get her to take them.

Fuck Cancer and fuck my dad. Why couldn’t he have gotten the diagnosis instead of my mom. A life for a life type beat.

I guess that wouldn’t have made for a good tragic backstory would it. And what fun is life without a tragic backstory.

My only question is when does the backstory end and when does the actual plot begin because clearly I’m not there yet. It’s only tragedy after tragedy.

Maybe that is my story, just pain and suffering. Someone has to be the butt of the joke.

She won't let you fly but she might let you sing

“You always told me to surround myself with people who you could block out the rest of the world with. Peter’s like that so was Olivia she was one of those people for me. When we weren’t yelling at each other or crying, I mean. Still wish you could’ve met her though,”

“AH YES!” I exclaimed, pumping my fist. “I found it,” I waved the joint in the air.

“Alright come sit down then,” Olivia laughed, patting the seat on the couch next to her.

“Shit,” I muttered. “Where’s the lighter?”

She just laughed at me again. Before reaching into my pocket and slipping it out. I couldn’t help but smile at how intimate that action felt for no reason at all.

I quickly and lightly pressed my lips to hers muttering a quick “thank you,”

About three minutes had passed and I could feel the weed taking course through my system.

My head was in her lap until I abruptly shot up gasping at the beginning of Super Rich Kids by Frank Ocean.

“Dance with me,” I pleaded it didn’t take much convincing because here we were twirling around. Although it was much more giggling than dancing.

I bumped my leg on the glass coffee table and immediately apologized making Liv and I laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.

I was laid out on the soft white fur rug with Olivia laying her chin on my chest. I ran my hands through her hair.

It was actually very easy there were no knots my fingers just glided smoothly through.

“I mean shit,” I breathed “I know I can’t run from the rest of the world forever but until then? Bitch you can call me Flash cause I’m zoomin’.”

She giggled at that before speaking up.

“You don’t have to run you can just stay here with me forever,”

Her words were so genuine it made me want to cry. She basically just said “I love you” in more or less words.

“You know what? I think I might,”

She gave me a tired smile, turning her head to place a kiss on the top of my breast.

I smiled back at her and how adorable she looked right now. I just want to kiss her for the rest of forever.

When I glanced back down at her I could hear her breathing slow and her eyes had fluttered shut. She was asleep.

I felt all warm and fuzzy and at peace and I couldn’t tell if it was the weed or if it was just being in Olivia’s presence.

I wasn’t ready to say these words to her when she was conscious yet maybe I’d never be ready but I’d say them now. Just to get them off my chest.

“I love you,” I whispered.

I never really felt comfortable saying that to anyone. Probably a result of not hearing it enough as a child or something. My family’s never been affectionate anyway. That’s fine because I wasn’t my family, I was my own person.

Stroking her hair gently before drifting off to the land of dreams myself.

So much for forever huh?

It’s funny to think how I took times like that for granted if only I knew those were some of the only moments of normalcy I’d get for a while. I’d spent too much time thinking about what could’ve been with almost everything.

So much so that I didn’t take much time to actually be. Now I feel like I’ve made it to the point of no return. Not mentally but like with everyone else around me. I think I pushed people too far away this time. Not so sure I could get them back.

“Uh I can't really remember what I’ve already told you so I’ll run through it all. This vigilante or superhero Spiderman started doing his thing then I got caught up in his mess.” That was most definitely an oversimplification but what do I look like telling my mom I was a well known thief. “Then his relation to Tony Stark got extended to me so now I kinda do stuff for him but I don’t work for him.”

I don't work for him he might think I do, but in reality he works for me. I had almost everyone at the compound wrapped around my finger.

“I don’t think I really wanna work for anyone. I was offered to be an Avenger in training but that isn’t really my style. I will use his gym though.” I rambled on.

It was kinda weird how easy it was to rant to my mom like this because not like she could voice her opinions about anything. I guess I hadn’t visited in so long that I forgot what it was like.

Mama's gonna keep baby cosy and warm

“Oh!” I exclaimed remembering a very important factor that I left out. “Then we have the whole Staten Island fiasco that I told you about. I remember telling you that. I’m still searching for answers on how I did that too,”

Like some real answers not that radiation BS.

“Your phone’s broken,” I pointed out the cracked screen sitting on the wood.

“Oh shit!” Peter cried “May’s gonna kill me this is the second phone I’ve broken this month,”

I came off way calmer than I was feeling. I’m surprised I wasn’t running around screaming right about now. I was probably just paralyzed in fear.

How do you react in a situation like this in the first place.

“Okay how long are we going to be sitting here? What are we waiting on?” We’d be up here looking down at the fire crackling underneath the pier for like 15 minutes now.

“I don’t know actually,” He sighed.

“Uh…”

How was I supposed to respond to that? That was the driest response to anything in the history of the world.

“Well since I’ve already pinky promised I won’t spill your secret can I ask some questions while we wait for you to figure it out?”

“Sure, go ahead,” He nodded, shaking his arms.

“Okay number one did you think I had died or something because if someone burst into flames in front of me I’d probably think Satan was coming for me. I’d cry too,” I laughed but had to stop myself as the stabbing in my ribs ran through me.

“No, I didn’t think you were dead, you had a pulse,” He pointed out “Maybe I could’ve thought you were dying though. And I wasn’t crying,”

Liar. He so was crying.

“Aw you don’t have to lie I think it’s cute,” I teased if I didn’t feel like my body was falling apart I might’ve poked his side.

“Alright, second question: do the webs like come out of you? Cause that’s kinda disgusting,”

“No, I make them with chemicals ‘n stuff. I’d explain the science to you but I’m not sure how much you’d care.”

I let out a small laugh knowing what feeling would come if I laughed too hard.

“I mean you could explain it ‘m just not sure how much of it I’d understand,”

We both laughed at that.

“On the topic of the webs what’s there integrity like how well do they hold up or like how long,”

“Uh…” He blew out a breath running his hands over his face “As far as I know they last up to two hours. That is unless someone cuts them or something,”

I couldn’t help but wonder if Thorn was one of those someone’s to cut the webs maybe I was the only someone. I didn’t really need to ask the question. Aaron had already answered the question for me when he told me about the deal at the ferry. I just wanted to see what Peter would tell me honestly.

I spent the rest of the night asking questions and cracking jokes. I was talking for so long I didn’t realize how late it’s gotten.

It should be a world record how fast I managed to fuck up 5 friendships. Well it’s my personal best at least. Only took like 4 minutes.

I feel like that’s all I do is just fuck up everything. I used to believe there was a difference between being fucked up and being a fuckup but the older I get the more I realize that there isn’t.

It’s like someone built a self destruct button in my head and every time something good happens to me I feel the need to run away.

Like Peter he’s literally perfect he's smart, respectful, adorable, and selfless. He’s literally a fucking superhero for godsake.

I was trying so hard not to fall asleep. I really was but all the Trigonometry chapter was doing was mixing with the sound of rain outside and triggering the urge to fall into a deep sleep.

“Okay,” Peter tapped his textbook with his pen. I wish I could be confident enough to do math with a pen.

“So sin is equal to the opposite of whatever angle you’re trying to find so first you have too…”

He droned on, I knew he was talking about the math problem lying on the bed in front of me but I wasn’t listening. Maybe if I sat at the desk I could actually be paying attention right now.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” I sat up on my elbows yawning.

“Are you tired?”

I just hummed again. Until I realized what the question was. I reached for my phone and it was already 9:03 that woke me up for sure.

“Oh shit! I gotta get back,”

Not like I’d get in trouble or anything but Carmen would get on my ass about the fact I didn’t come back when I said I would then she’d make something out of nothing.

I scrambled around trying to find all my things to put them back in my bag.

“Wait it’s raining though,” Peter pointed out.

“Yeah,” I chuckled “It’s New York it’s always raining,”

“Yeah but it’s cold and wet and dark so if you tried to skate you’d probably get hurt,”

I knew what he was doing and it was working because frankly all his excuses were shit because one I don’t get cold and two I could just walk and there are lights everywhere but I was gonna stay anyway. I was too tired to argue right now.

“May!” Peter shouted.

“Yes?” She called back.

“Can Y/N stay for the night?”

“Yeah if her parents are okay with it,”

That’s how I ended up wearing some shirt with some dumb science pun sitting on the couch watching Aladdin for like the millionth time ever. I was singing along to One jump ahead when I felt eyes on me.

I turned my head but before I could make eye contact with Peter he acted as if he was watching the movie the whole time.

“What?” I giggled. Fuck, I hadn’t like genuinely giggled in the longest time.

“Nothing,” He replied, turning back towards the TV again.

This time I was the one to stare at him wondering what was going on in his head. Not even the fourth song in and I was already yawning struggling to keep my head up.

This goes to show how much willpower I had because I couldn’t even stop my eyelids from falling shut. I deserved to sleep though I’d been exhausted lately.

There’s only like 6 people on this planet that I trust enough to fall asleep around and surprisingly Peter had become one with like 5 months of knowing me.

I would still trust him if given the chance I’m just not sure how much he trusts me right now. I understand though. I don’t deserve anyone’s trust.

Taglist:

@tomdiddlyumptious

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sword-of-summer · 4 years ago

Text

okay so i did a breakdown and prediction for WandaVision before the show started and It's Turning Out To Be True, Guys, so I'm posting it below and just tell me if it's okayish or not-

Now, WandaVision marks the beginning of Phase 4 of the MCU, and it is in itself a pathmaking event because it shows normal life without the original Avengers. Now, the show explores Wanda's mental state after Vision's death in Infinity War, and how she uses her Chaos magic to create a 'pocket reality' where things are just what she wants them to be.

The entire series is set over 6 decades, and has a running theme of couples living in sit-coms throughout the years, the late 50s, the 60s, the 70s, the 80s, the 90s, the 2000s and present. Now, my theory is that WandaVision is the beginning of a Multiverse Act that continues in Spiderman - 3 and culminates in Doctor Strange in The Multiverse of Madness.

Now,Â as for the shots within the trailer, it seems that Wanda and Vision are changing their localities as time passes, and that is through the decades I mentioned above. Now, all the posters have this unique red-blue television static rip in the upper left corner, which is also the transition effect used by the editors whenever Wanda warps reality and tries to adapt to the passing, and this actually represents Wanda's warped reality fading away and opening up a multiverse. In the late 50s poster, there isn't much that suggests anything, just we know that this involves the b/w part of the show where Wanda and Vision are a newly married couple and Vision as a human, which is strange, because in all trailers/posters after that time, Vision is shown as the Android he is, from the 60s black and white where Wanda acts as Vision's assistant in the magic show, and now, the next transition is the most interesting for me because they shift into the era of coloured television and during this warp, Wanda becomes pregnant and slips into the stripes of the 70s - another fact is that the upper left rip is not normal, not it is a wood panel torn apart, like by a demon, which leads me to the obvious villainous entity for the show, Mephisto.

This marks Wanda's descent into confusion as to who is in control of this warped reality, because it may not be Wanda, it may be some evil entity who is using Wanda to get into MCU's Earth-199999 and is proved later when Jimmy Woo's voice is heard out of the radio saying "who is doing this to you?". Now, the 80s poster has a ton of references in the 2 paintings it has, one being a hybrid phoenix chicken, aka representing Vision, who here is both a hybrid between human and metal, and like a Phoenix brought to life by Wanda's magic from the ash he was left in by Thanos, and the second bird is a wren from Australia with varying plumage which is like Wanda, because her magic clashes with life in the same way. The next 90s poster is the most indicative too as this is the time where they have the twins, Wiccan and Speed, but interestingly, there's a picture on their wall with three, yes, three not two eggs, which is another reference to the fact that snarky Mephisto has snuck up into this reality using Wanda's magic, also the TV still here is of them in their original Avengers' goofy hallowe'en costumes, and the last shot is a trailer and poster mix where Wanda races out into their frontyard but there are 2 small bikes parked, meaning that is the 2000s where they live as a family of four, but what Wanda doesn't realise that Mephisto's using this fake family to claw his way into this reality and wreak havoc.

Some other shots that stood out to me were of Monica Rambeau constantly transitioning from friendly neighbour to outright "I don't know who (I am)", then the character of Agnes who I suspect is none other than Agatha Harkness from the West Coast Avengers comics where Mephisto, yet again, played with Wanda's chaotic magic and in a way it also merges with the House of X comic series where Wanda yet again creates a pocket reality (I mean, what is up with all the reality stuff) - another interesting thing is the beekeeper seen in the second trailer, which I propose is a reference to the way in which we make honey commercially, wherein the queen bee is kept incharge of a beehive with her subordinates, and she thinks that she is in charge, but the actual person benefiting from this is the beekeeper looking from above the hive, collecting the honey, just like it is here where Wanda thinks she is the queen but in reality it is Mephisto the Beekeeper looking from above the pocket reality using Wanda's brand of Chaos magic to enter into this reality.Â

I believe that the base of this entire series by which it will continue into the wider MCUÂ is The Mind Stone, because it was The Stone that gave Wanda her powers and also to the two men she loved the most - Vision and her brother Pietro. Now, there is an amazing amount of screen time given to shots of the Mind Stone in the trailer, the most intriguing of which is a tired Wanda with greyish hair looking up at the Stone with slivers of blue around it - this is the incident where Wanda received her Enhanced powers from Stucker is Sokovia and this indicates that there will be some flashbacks to earlier memories which may involve Quicksilver returning. Now, the Mind Stone is the smart one, so it has a certain intelligence which it imparts to those affected by it, as is evident in Wanda's Chaos magic and tele-abilities, Tony Stark's vision of the Earth ravaged and the Avengers dead, and maybe even Thanos's curse of Titan's fate. Now, for sure, the mind stone has been destroyed but this does not mean it hasn't already affected given the Universe changes.

Now, back in 2015, Marvel wasn't allowed to use the term "mutants" but now with the Disney-Fox merger, yes they can introduce the idea of mutants with Wanda and Quicksilver as the first in Sokovia, and then Wanda's Chaos-Mephisto born mutant kids Wiccan and Speed which of course may tie to the New Mutants storyline. Also, my theory is that mutants are made by a combination of both their mutant gene and exposure to cosmic radiation, just like Wanda was exposed to the Mind Stone. Also, the mutant gene may exist in specific closeted spaces of the earth like Sokovia, or just for the sake of an example, in Chernobyl cause well the incident. Now these mutant genes become activated on exposure to radiation, and well we have had Four Omega Level Cosmic Infinity Snaps by Thanos, Thanos, Hulk and IronMan, and there is plenty of reason to suggest that this may have triggered the mutant abilities. That is my first theory.

The second one involves Wanda unleashing her chaos magic in an exponential wave at the end just like she did in Age Of Ultron, maybe because she realises that in reality, Vision is dead and manipulation won't help, and in grief she lets out her power that rips upon the Marvel Earth 199999 to the Multiverse which will continue later for Doctor Strange and SpiderMan to put back to normal. This mega event was teased in the trailers where the S.W.O.R.D. helicopter escapes from a wall of red television like static energy, and yes, I expect S.W.O.R.D. to be fully involved in the last part of the show headed by Jimmy Woo and Darcy cause Darcy has had encounters with otherworldly beings and thus may be consulted here. The last act will culminate in Wanda and Vision rising back up to their original title of the Avengers and fighting Mephisto to stop him, but something turns and thus Wanda/Mephisto releases that wall of Magic to wreak havoc.

Also a side note - Vision will also play the act of a realist in the show where he makes Wanda realise that this is not the real earth and he realises that the Eastside/Westside area they live in as well as the people there are unusual, not real, but at the end comes to his usual humane proposition that they save them and the reality from the demon trying to wreak havoc.

TL;DR Wanda creates a pocket reality where she lives with Vision, maybe reincarnating him using her brand of magic in the grey android left after Infinity War, and as the decades pass by, their reality deteriorates due to the Satanic entity that is Mephisto, making his curses seem like blessings, but at the end Wanda and Vision try and stop this reality shredding with S.W.O.R.D and that leaves us with an indecisive future of the mutants, Vision's reincarnation(like said by Banner in Infinity War)/Vision's death and the coming of the Multiverse into focus.

That's it, I guess.

Sorry a bit long ik but i do this.

Enjoy?

Thanks for reading...

tagging @aredhel-of-gondolin cause it was in that chat i realized i have a blog ugggh why am i so stupid

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