#cause if i’m honest i seem to spend my time writing long things like these usually when i’m sleep deprived

[lichtecht]

@is-this-taken-too-questionmark this is specifically for you but also for anyone else who wants to know more about the backstory behind this drawing of mine

for context, this is all big elaborate headcanons about the situation of dwh mit 30. that’s a new movie project that cornelia funke is working on, and it’s about the lives of the wilden hühner at 30 years old. cf has said that fred and sprotte won’t be together anymore because sprotte moved to new zealand and fred stayed in germany. she’s also said that fred is now dating frieda.

i won’t go into the details of why that sounds a little weird, it’s because frieda is sprottes best friend and your first big love dating your best friend?? who you were previously jealous of because you were afraid that there could be something between those two? and then it happens?? weird! also complicated.

i for one can only see all three of them together. my headcanons are hugely influenced by this post by @all-chickens-are-trans and this one by @chucklepea-hotpot.

basically, sprotte is what connects fred and frieda, and the headcanon is that they bonded over missing sprotte after she leaves and they grow really close. i can personally only see fred and frieda as a platonic duo, but a damn close one, so they might just get assumed for a couple a lot of the time, eventhough they’re not dating.

and then there’s my headcanon of punk frieda, best explained in this post i think (though i’m afraid it’s in german :( ). punk fred originated from this post by @all-chickens-are-trans. the gist of it is that fred becomes more politically active through frieda with her activism meetings and demonstrations, and he becomes a punk. and frieda becomes a punk too. and they’re kind of matching now. and they share part of their wardrobe. doesn’t help with being mistaken for a couple, but who gives a shit about societal expectations of relationships, right.

the thing about frieda and fred bedazzling their battlejackets together is from this post. trude is also there. :) i also drew something about it here.

yeah and i think that’s it! :)

[midnight-pluto]

SPOILED!MEGUMI — headcanons

megumi was raised by gojo, he’s bound to be spoiled one way or another

CHAR: megumi fushiguro, satoru gojo

PAIRING(S): megumi fushiguro x gn!reader (can be read as platonic)

A/N: this is a topic that isn’t discussed enough, so I’m writing it and potentially going to elaborate on some more later

i would like to start off by saying i do not intend to paint megumi in a negative light by saying he’s spoiled — but i do intend on putting him in a goofy one

to be honest, megumi isn't that self-aware as he seems

y'all seen that one episode that inspired this post where yuji and nobara freak out over the price of gojo's shirt and question whether it's with tax or not and megumi deadass asks if tax matters? yea interpret that as you will

there is a decent chance that he doesn’t necessarily understand the value of money very well, which probably has something to do with the Gojo effect™️

ngl he probably said ‘print more money’ once and got attacked for it so he never said it again

but he's also so lowkey about it too like you would have never guessed that this boy would be as materialistic as gojo is

like he wears the same shit gojo does that's really expensive quality but doesn't have the brand name plastered onto it since he finds it tacky so you'll just never know unless he exclusively tells you

he also does have a talent of knowing what is good quality and what isn't; he would do great for those cheap vs. expensive videos

can also spot knock-offs from a mile away but never says anything about it since he doesn't have enough in him to care about that kind of stuff

so the first time both of you — including yuji and nobara — hangout at the mall and when you ask what he plans on getting and he just replies with something along the lines of new shoes so just imagine the collective shock between you all when he makes a beeline towards prada

"My boots got ruined last mission so I plan on getting a new pair."

"Okay, what store are you gonna be in so we can find you later?"

"Prada."

"Bitch what the fuck did you just say."

you didn't know what hurt more, megumi not telling any of you about the fact that he was loaded or his absolute nonchalance about the situation

and due to the amount of shock all of you were in, you all followed megumi like little ducklings bcuz his casual nonchalance about it was concerning

he was slightly embarrassed but found it easier to just pretend the rest of you weren't there during his hunt for new boots

it was also quite nerve wracking for you all since yuji only buys things from walmart and though nobara has expensive taste, she knows how to budget while you stay away from all things worth more than rent out of fear of damaging anything and having to pay for it

so it was safe to assume that it looked liked a bunch of kindergarteners in a line following their chaperone during a school field trip — just a lot more quieter and careful which cannot be said for every outing much to megumi’s dismay

megumi didn't take that long before picking out a pair that he liked and began to pay for under three pairs of wide eyes due to the sole fact that he pulled out a black card in order to pay for it

"Don't worry, it's Gojo's."

that statement did not help the situation at all

it also caused the three of you to demand why he isn't spending that money on you all to which his reply is just a deadpan: 'you never asked.'

i feel like this also extends to his taste in food as well

like when you suggest to head to the food court in the mall since yuji was getting hungry; this man has the audacity to disaprove since he doesn't like the taste

now that reasoning isn't the problem, the problem is that he suggests to eat at some expensive ass place an hour away because he was craving it and it was one of the only places gojo introduced to him as a kid which he actually liked

though he was forced to toss the idea aside due to the fact that there was no way you all could split the bill that way and you all weren’t that patient enough to walk an hour all the way to a restaurant you couldn’t even afford

it’s not that megumi didn’t offer to pay, he did, nobara just didn’t like the feeling of having to owe someone

that is until Gojo stumbles across his students and decides to get them food at the same exact place megumi suggested

A/N: writing this made me hungry

[tamrielic]

pairing – kaedehara kazuha × gn!reader

fandom | media – genshin impact

word count – 592・AO3

summary – a little celebratory ficlet because i adore kaedehara kazuha and he deserves all of the love in the world

tags﹠warnings – fluff・tooth–rotting fluff・soft kazuha・gender–neutral reader

originally posted on – 10/30/2022

author’s note (10/30/2022) – i listened to “this side of paradise” by coyote theory + “exist for love” by aurora while writing this little birthday ficlet for our beloved kazuha because both songs give me kaedehara kazuha vibes, also he may be ooc but i truly hope i did him justice despite not having known him/had him in my party for very long – oh and also i was half asleep while writing this but i just had to get it down and post it while the writing juices were flowing!

the chilly autumn breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees surrounding the kamisato estate, but luckily the late afternoon sun was keeping you from being too cold where you were sitting on the perimeter fence facing the ocean. your feet were dangling, brushing against kazuha’s as you sat and enjoyed the scenery of inazuma in the last days of warmth before it inevitably turned to winter.

“thank you for spending the day with me,” kazuha spoke softly, his red eyes drawn to where you rubbed your hands together to try and bring some warmth back into your fingers.

you turned towards him, admiring the way he looked so ethereal and at peace in the rays of the sun. smiling easily, you gently nudged his elbow with yours.

“you don’t need to thank me, you know that i’m always happy to spend time with you.”

“even when you’re at risk of losing your fingers?” he laughed quietly, his warm eyes flicking up to yours as he reached over to grasp your hands, pulling them up between you as he gently caressed them in his own warm, calloused ones.

“i, uh…” you trailed off, face warming as he gazed at you with a soft smile. “it’s not that cold out, plus i have you to keep that from happening.”

his smile grew and yours with it, him guiding your clasped hands up to his face as he leaned closer and blew warm air onto them.

“that may be so, and i am honored to be who you choose to keep you warm.” he murmured, pressing a lingering kiss to your palm.

you couldn’t stop smiling and after glancing around to ensure you weren’t being oogled by any passers-by you slid over to press your side against his and rest your head on his shoulder.

“it’s your birthday, shouldn’t i be wooing you and not the opposite?”

“i’m sorry, i can’t seem to help it.” he chuckled before sighing, leaning his head against yours and settling your still clasped hands between you.

“i’m just happy that you’re happy,” you replied, feeling a wave of love and contentment flow through you, “because you only deserve good things, kazuha.”

he pulled back from you just enough to meet your eyes, expression so soft that your heart fluttered in response.

“so you say… that must be the reason why you’re here with me.”

you couldn’t help but to laugh then, overwhelmed with how happy you felt and how your own joy caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle with mirth.

“alright, kazu, enough with the flowery words.” you giggled, rolling your eyes.

“ah, but you said that you’re happy if i’m happy, and telling you the honest truth regarding my feelings makes me very happy indeed.” he said, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek.

you sighed dramatically, turning and nuzzling your nose against his in retaliation.

“very well. but in all seriousness, is there anything else at all you’d like to do for your birthday?”

kazuha hummed as he appeared to give it some thought before he shook his head.

“no, i am perfectly content sitting here with you and basking in your presence.” he answered, chuckling when you huffed.

leaning to give him a soft kiss on his cheek as he had done to you, you smiled.

“alright then, birthday boy, let’s enjoy this time together for as long as possible.”

you snuggled close together and turned to view the sun that was just beginning to set, the both of you feeling warm and loved.

[elliereject]

creep .1

* in which you’re dragged to a frat party and spend most of it lingering in the corner, that is until a certain auburn-haired girl with unusually sharp canines appears next you and turns your night into something much more interesting.

* loserish!reader, vamp!ellie 😫, hemophilia if you squint, creepy ellie…duh, depictions of a singular graphic scene at the end, kissing, biting, heavy petting. that’s pretty much it lmk if I missed anything..nsfw in future chapter(s)

* this is one of the only things I’ve written recently that I’ve enjoyed writing and found decent so I hope u enjoy it, I’m glad I got this out before Halloween too, I’ve had vamp!ellie rattling around in my head a for a while, yk, fellow writers..I’d love to see..werewolf!abby..haha jk jk, unless 🫣..

*mdni

wc ~ 1k

pt 2. coming soon

“God, ★ can you go dance? It’s a fucking party loosen up!”

You held your red solo cup up to your “friend” and gave her an awkward smile. “I’m good over here!”

She sighed and rolled her eyes before slipping back into the sweaty crowd.

This was the most uncomfortable you’ve ever felt in your life.

It was a Saturday night; the chilly air, crunchy leaves, and overall mood of the season had deluded you into wanting to go out and socialize, so for the first time in a long time you agreed to attend a frat party with a “friend” you’d met in one of your classes.

It took you almost an hour to get ready, and as you reapplied your eyeliner for the fifth time you hoped that the saying “when you look good, you feel good” was true and you didn’t spend 20 minutes picking your outfit in vain.

Once you were ready, your “friend” picked you up from your dorm and the two of you walked over to the party, she was already a little tipsy from pre-gaming in her dorm with her roommate who was going to some other party so you had to make sure she didn’t stumble onto her face more than once.

The makeshift bouncer, a senior named Grey, or Grug or something gave you a once-over before looking at your friend who had to clarify you were with her, which definitely didn’t deflate your confidence.

Before you were even in the crowded, humid house, you knew you weren’t going to enjoy yourself, you never really did at parties if you were being honest, but you didn’t think your “friend” would ditch you to go grind her ass on some random chads and brads, yet here you were, nursing a cherry seltzer, and there she was, shaking ass.

Yay, college!

You were about to take another sip from your cup when a presence suddenly appeared beside you that made you jump out of your skin and caused your drink to slosh onto the already sticky floor.

“Shit! What the fuck?” You asked, looking up at the figure who seemingly appeared out of thin air.

“Fuck! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, you just looked bored.” She replied, her voice was gravelly and her eyes, the colour of jade. Her auburn hair was cut short and freckles were scattered across her face. Safe to say she was hot. “I can go get you another drink?”

You waved it off, “It’s fine, it wasn’t that good anyways. Plus I should probably pay more attention to my surroundings, even if I am bored.”

She hummed out a sound of understanding, “Not your scene?”

You shrugged, “Not really,” you eyed her outfit, blue jeans with a green flannel and a brown leather jacket, converse. “Doesn’t seem like yours either.”

“Really? Cause I like just made out with Bryson in the storage closet, it was suuuupper hot.” She said, pointing a ringed finger to a blond dude clad in a football jersey who was currently shoving his tongue down a blonde girl's throat.

You allowed yourself a small smile, hot and funny? Yikes.

“Pretty sure his name is Brickson, but close enough.”

“What the fuck kind of name is Brickson?” She laughed, “Did a brick fall on his head after he was born or some shit?”

You shrugged before smiling, fully, “Judging by how flat the top of his looks? Probably.”

She snorted at this and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride, you made this hot, funny, cool girl laugh, you!

“Hey, so don’t freak out but that guy’s been staring at you for the past 10 minutes.” She said, flicking her head in the direction of said guy.

You turned your head to look at him, he wasn’t..unattractive. He was muscular and had on a sports jersey that seemed to small for his build, his hair was cut into a messy mullet and when he met your gaze he…winked.

You cringed and looked back at the cool girl, “I hope he doesn’t think anything’s gonna happen, he’s not really my type.”

She gave you a knowing smile before asking, “And what exactly is your type?”

You shrugged, “Preferably someone with boobs.”

She sighed, “Can’t relate, I love penis.”

You gave her a pointed look and she laughed, “What? Not believable?”

You rolled your eyes, “Not in the slight—“ your eyes widened as they looked past her shoulder. “Shit, he’s walking over here.”

“Wanna do something crazy then?” She asked quickly, her jade eyes meeting yours and you found yourself nodding before she even finished her sentence. Hell, you’d bark if she asked you to. “Just follow my lead.”

Her large hand wrapped around your waist while her other found purchase on your neck, before you could think her lips were on yours. Slightly chapped but soft and enticing, kissing her was easy and you felt like you could do it forever.

Her skin was so cold you could feel it through your clothes. Your mind was completely encapsulated by her presence and just as you were starting to get used to it, she pulled away.

You thought whatever moment the two of you shared was over but you were wrong. Her lips trailed along your jaw, and her grip on your waist tightened. The hand that had been holding your neck was now on your hip, caressing back and forth with tenderness that had your thighs clenching, wanting more.

Each kiss felt like a snowflake melting into your skin until she was down to your neck. She kissed and nibbled on it before pausing.

“What’s wr—Ow! What the hell? Did you just–bite me?”

She chuckled after pulling away, “Never gotten a hickey before?”

You went quiet, because, well you haven’t but you’re sure it didn’t result in genuine blood trickling out of one’s body.

You traced your fingers over the mark and winced, it was most definitely going to leave a scar. She must’ve seen the discontentment on your face because she spoke up.

“Don’t worry, it’ll heal up quickly, you won’t even notice there was something there by tomorrow.” Her eyes clung to drops of blood dribbling down your neck.

You scoffed, “Let me guess, you’ve done this before?”

“Kind of.” She shrugged after what looked like reluctantly peeling her eyes away from your neck. “That guy’s gone though, must’ve scared him off.”

You smiled at her, “Must’ve been my presence, I can be pretty intimidating.”

She laughed loudly at this and you felt your confidence inflate once again. So much so, that the idea of asking for her number even popped into your head. But it was overtaken by more rational thoughts,

What if she thought you were weird? That you were moving to quick? Or what if she was just looking for someone to take home tonight, which you wouldn’t be opposed to but—

“Hey.” She snapped her fingers in front of your face.

“Sorry, what’d you say?” You asked sheepishly, you can’t believe you spaced out in front of her, you could’ve sworn she was hypnotizing you with her laugh or something.

“You do need to pay more attention to your surroundings,” She said, giving you a small smile, “Never know what kind of creeps are lurking around at these parties.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m sure I can hold my own against a Chad or a Brittney.”

“I’m sure you could but—“ The music that had previously been wafting through the room turned up abruptly and you’d missed the last part of what she said.

“What?!” You shouted, putting your hand up to cup your ear.

She chuckled softly and leaned down so her lips were practically grazing the shell of your ear, the smell of mint, whiskey, and something metallic filled your senses.

When she spoke, a shiver racked through your body, “But if it was someone a little smarter? More discreet? If they snuck up beside you and covered your mouth? Or slipped something in your drink? Pulled you away? Would anybody notice, would anybody care?”

You pushed her away, her cool, easy going demeanor suddenly shifting into something eerie and uncomfortable. Her jade eyes gazed at you curiously as a blood-curdling shriek ripped through the house.

She jutted her thumb over her shoulder, “That’s my cue. See you around, ★.” She said, giving you a genuine smile, and it was just now you finally noticed her unusually sharp canines.

You gazed down at your drink as others pushed and shoved around, scrambling to get out of the house, away from all the horror.

And as you pulled a small scrap of paper out of your empty cup, 10 numbers and a name scrawled across it in red ink; you finally looked up to see your friend's lifeless body sprawled across the living room floor, her limbs bent in odd angles.

Yay, college!

[thetaleoflevi]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rediscovered

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Pairing: Levi x f!reader

Content: Modern AU, SFW

Content Warnings: None, they’re just two people who love to spend time with each other.

Description: Levi rediscovers love and all the things that make it so special. He gets to know you, his new next door neighbor, and you help him see what causes lovers to do so much for one another.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: I’m sorry I made you wait so long, if you even stuck around this long lol. I was burnt out and I ran out of ideas to write. I couldn’t think of what to write for my series that I started then dumped, so I went on a break. This is what i’ve been working on for a little and it’s not the best if I’m being honest, but I did want to put something out for the first time in a while. Enjoy! :)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Levi who thinks love is a waste of time and money. He thinks, what the hell is a month-iversary? And why is it even a thing? He would never spend more than three dollars on chocolates, and that’s a stretch already. What kind of person needs an enormous stuffed bear on their bed in addition to just regular pillows? Why does everything have to be so physical? Personal space is sacred.

That is until he experiences the strongest sugar rush he’s had in almost two years. It seemed like some vicious prank played on him by the universe.

You walked into the apartment next to Levi’s, carrying a box that was a little less than half your size. The moving van you rented was parked nearby so that you didn’t have to travel long distances to move your boxes. Levi noticed that despite you having an entire moving van, there wasn’t much loaded into it. Maybe another four boxes, but that’s all he could see. Maybe your stay was only temporary.

It took you some time to introduce yourself. Not because you were trying to be antisocial, but because you didn’t know if it was normal to knock on your neighbor’s door and introduce yourself, instead of doing the usual run-in quick introduction.

Levi was nice enough. He didn’t say much, mostly listened to your quick presentation. The handshake was what got him, though. His formal façade almost cracked when you extended your hand to him. He held it together for the sake of professionalism, but deep down he felt like a father meeting his daughter’s boyfriend for the first time.

“Well, don’t be a stranger,” you said, a lovely smile on your face as you turned and went back into your new home. It was such a corny thing to say, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed when you smiled at him like that. It would be a crime in some other universe.

It had been a while since Levi had a next-door neighbor. The apartment was vacant for a good six months before you. Now, he could hear life just a few feet away. You blasted music really late into the night, and in all honesty, it got on his nerves.

On one night when work tore down his thin wall of patience, he came home hoping to get some much needed rest. By the time he reached the stairs that led to your and his apartment, he could hear your music fighting the walls. He rung the doorbell, hoping the sound would get to your ears despite the loudness surrounding your home. He was fed up with everything and couldn’t handle another night of this. You must have heard the doorbell because your music paused a few seconds later.

You looked cozy when you opened the door. “Hi, Levi.” You smile that smile that continues to flatter him. “Is there something I can help you with?”

His mind is racking up a polite response. He just wants to be in bed already.

“Yes, actually. The walls are surprisingly thin on these apartments, and i’m sure you aren’t really playing your music too loud, but I was wondering if you could turn it down a bit.” He puts his hands in his pockets, suddenly feeling like an old man interrupting a high school party.

Your face drops and you look like you just disturbed a sleeping puppy.

“I’m sorry about that.” You sounded sincere— adorably so. “I’ll turn it off. I wasn’t aware of the thinness of the walls, but i’m so sorry you had to ask.”

Your kindness was refreshing. You weren’t like his last neighbor. Levi and him didn’t interact much, but when they did, it was a mutually awkward ‘hey’.

“Don’t worry about it.” Levi sighs. “Sorry i’m here wasting your time. It’s just been an especially… testing day for me, and I just want to get some rest.”

“Don’t apologize. I completely understand.” You open the door more so that not just half of your body is peeking out of the doorway.

Levi gets a look at your full outfit. You looked like a bear with your oversized wool hoodie and your baggy pajama pants and your dog slippers. Oh. You have dog slippers on.

“Well, I should be going now. I don’t want to stand in the way of whatever you were doing. Thanks for understanding.” Levi was trying so hard to get out of there. There was a poking in his chest that he had to look into.

“Do you like tea?” You asked. Levi seemed distracted to you, but you thought maybe it was the tiredness taking a toll on his ability to think.

“I do. Why do you ask?”

“Would you like to join me for a cup? It usually helps me relax when I come home after train wrecks of days.”

He didn’t need a reason to get closer to you, but he definitely was not going to turn you down. Especially when you’re giving him a regimen for the stress.

—

You both sat on lawn chairs, sipping on a steaming cup of tea. Levi knows only one person who knows their way around a cup of tea and that’s himself. That night, the number went up to two.

“I know it sounds bad when I don’t give you context about the people they are, but you just have to trust me on this one.” You talked Levi’s ear off about your reason for moving to a whole different state to get away from your parents.

“Whatever they did to you, it must have been terrible if you had to move so far,” Levi takes a sip of his tea. He had no bad judgement towards you. Even though he gets along with his mother and he’s never met his father, he’s human enough to understand that not all relationships with parents and their children are good.

“Yeah.” You stare straight ahead into the nightly activities going on in front of you. You didn’t mean to trauma dump on this man you haven’t known for long enough. It happened, though, and he didn’t run or tell you he was uncomfortable. He stayed and listened through and through.

“So, what was so awful about your day that you had to shut down my solo party?” You smiled. It let him know that you were just teasing when you laughed a little.

He rolled his eyes, the frustration returning to him in a short burst as he recalled his irritating day.

“The people I work with are annoying and lazy. They need constant delegations. I understand that I’m supposed to manage the team, but how will they grow if I always have to tell them what to do?”

Your eyes widen in disbelief. You sympathize for Levi. He seems like he really cares about his job, but also like he needs a vacation.

“I get that. Have you thought about working with another team?” You chuckle. “I swear that’s not me telling you to give up on the one you have, but at some point you have to put your own sanity first. Maybe a change in leadership would help them, and a change in teamwork would help you.”

There’s a moment of total silence, and you think what will follow is him telling you that you overstepped. The silence is broken by the sound of a quiet breath leaving his lips as a chuckle. You never noticed how little Levi smilesd until now. It’s actually a really warm sight, and his eyes crease at the corners, which makes your heart flutter.

“I don’t think that was too helpful.” You chuckle, setting your empty cup down on the floor.

“No, that was some really good advice. Thanks.”

You nod, glad to know that he wasn’t going to insult your thoughts.

The silence returns again, both of you just staring out into the abyss. It wasn’t awkward, even thought both of you had already finished your cups of tea and it was getting later. Stores were closing down for the day, their neon signs powering down to let the night grow.

“I should go home. It’s late,” Levi says, once again breaking the welcomed silence. He starts standing and offers you your cup back, empty. “I appreciate your time and the tea.”

“Ring my doorbell anytime, please. I’m happy to tell scary stories over a cup of tea.” You pick up your cup before standing.

“Well, goodnight,” Levi says, a shy smile on his face. His hands return to his pockets as he heads over to his house.

“Sleep well,” you respond, before shutting your door.

Levi laid awake for longer than he hoped he would. He could still feel that pokey feeling in his chest and it was no use looking it up like he set himself out to because he knew exactly what was it was. He mentally cursed himself for feeling this way about you so quickly. You were kind, and pretty, and you said sorry and meant it.

Levi rolled onto his side, a heavy sigh leaving him as he attempted to sleep.

—

It became a habit of yours to check the mirror thoroughly now before you left your apartment, a similar routine for Levi. He would smell the collar of his shirt before leaving. Your hello’s were almost synchronized every time you ran into each other, shy smiles decorating your faces. Your ability of not knowing when to stop talking greatly developed over time.

Sometimes your anticipation got the better of you. You would doll yourself up a little more than usual, only to be let down by his absence. It made you feel like an idiot, and you almost always went back in and dressed down.

Then, it finally happened.

Levi was coming home after another long day at work. You sat outside staring at the chaotic traffic down the street, a warm blanket on your lap.

“Hey, did something happen over there?” You ask, pointing at the line of red taillights.

“There was a car accident. Someone crashed into a fire hydrant and it’s currently a fountain that hasn’t been fixed. People are nosy so it’s taking a while to kill the traffic.” He climbs the last stair and stands next to you, his back against the windows of your apartment. You were watching the angry drivers as they tried to swerve into faster moving lanes.

“What are you doing here on a Friday night? No plans with friends or anyone?”

You shake your head. “Nope. My friends wanted to go to a club, but I don’t think I can handle the auditory overload tonight.”

He nods, acknowledging the truth in your statement. “What about dinner?”

“They didn’t mention anything about that. They usually go to whatever is open and nearby once they’re drunk off their asses at four in the morning.” Your hands ball up in your sweater’s pockets in an attempt to find warmth for your icy fingers.

“I’m asking you. Have you had dinner?” He directs his gaze towards you, meeting your eyes.

“No, I haven’t. I was just gonna heat up some leftovers.”

“Would you like to have dinner…” he hesitates for a second or two, “…with me?”

“Yes.” You think you answered too quickly, but your justification for it was not wanting to waste any more time. “I’ll be back out here in ten minutes. No more no less.” You stand and wrap your heavy blanket around you like a cape and turn your head to the right all regally as you head into the direction of your home.

Levi thought that was easy enough, but he wouldn’t get his hopes up. It wasn’t brought up as a date, so it’s just dinner.

Like you said, you were out in exactly ten minutes and you now donned something that matched Levi’s formal wear. You knew at some point you would get uncomfortable in the dress you chose, so you brought a backup outfit. A much comfier one.

“I stay true to my word, but I’m also very considerate. I won’t let you walk around looking like a penguin without looking like a tablecloth myself.”

You looked nothing like a tablecloth in Levi’s eyes. You were amazing, glowing in the midst of darkness. He had to look for the calm, stoic man inside him in order to stop himself from saying something stupid.

“I hope I didn’t make you feel obligated to dress up.”

The calm and stoic man was no help. He feared he made you self conscious when you started second guessing your outfit.

“Is it too much?” You looked for you jacket in the folded pile of clothes you held.

“No. You’re fine. I-It’s fine.” Thank the stars for the low amount of visibility, because Levi couldn’t contain the rouge spreading throughout his face. “I know a really nice place. It’s about a twenty minute drive, but it’s worth it.”

“Dealer’s choice. I’m up for anything with you.” That could easily be read differently. “I mean, anywhere is fine is… what I mean.”

What kind of malfunction was happening between both of you?

“After you,” Levi said, his hand aimed at the stairs.

You smile and lead, not having a clue where his car is.

—

When you got to the restaurant, you saw how luxurious it was. It was glowing brightly, and there were chandeliers that had both tiny and large crystals on them. You turned to Levi, a nervous look on your face. “Levi, we can’t eat dinner here.”

“Why not?” He asked.

“I can’t afford something this fancy.” It was kind of embarrassing to admit, but you figured he knew this already by the clothes you wore in contrast to his.

“You really think I’m such a trash person to make you pay?”

“I don’t know, but I didn’t want to assume you would be paying for my food. That would make me a trash person.”

He shakes his head, turning his car off.

“Come on. We’re going.”

“But-“

“We’re going,” he repeats. “Plus, I think it’ll be amusing if you go in wearing that nice dress and then leave wearing those pajama pants.”

You chuckle at his insistence, finding it hard to keep the argument going when his reasoning was so strong.

—

Dinner was what you expected. Not totally awkward, but there were times when you had to look around at other people or things because you ran out of things to say. You felt especially nervous because you had to sit right across from Levi. He constantly watched you, wanting to know what you thought of the food, and how you felt about this time you were spending together.

“How was your meal?” Levi asks. You felt like his eyes were luring the answer out of you, the way they held contact with yours.

“It was so fuckin’ good.” You laugh. “I mean, it was really good. Thank you.”

“I believe you. Didn’t I tell you it was good?”

You nod, fiddling with the fork sitting on your empty plate.

“Let me know when you’re ready to go. I’m ready when you are.”

“I’m gonna go change. I’ll meet you in the car?”

He nods, standing when you do. You notice that he leaves a huge tip in the booklet holding the check before he heads out. It really makes you wonder what Levi does for a living to give him that privilege.

—

You knew you would be judged by everyone for what you were wearing. You received stares left and right, even some double takes as soon as you left the restroom. You had to hold it together, hold back the laughter when you saw a whole table simultaneously look at you.

Once you got out, Levi popped out from beside the door in time to watch your laughter explode.

“Everybody was watching you, huh?” A smirk creeps onto his face, like you both just pulled off the ultimate heist.

“Jeez, Levi! You can’t just pop out of a corner like that in the middle of the night.” Your heart pounds in your ears, your breath slowly making its way into your lungs again.

“Sorry. I wanted to make sure you got to the car safely.”

“Well, I guess I can’t be mad at you for that. Let’s go back. I’m exhausted.”

Your heart races at the thought of him staying back to make sure nobody hurt you. It’s like he cares about you. He doesn’t want you to die. That’s nice.

—

During the car ride, you introduced Levi to some of your music. He was much more into the calmer picks, deeming the random scream-o songs you have too aggressive. You told him that one day you want to go to a rave, and he said you were going to get trampled.

Once you got home, you both climbed the stairs that led you to your apartments. Levi didn’t want to end the night without giving you something to think about, but he wasn’t ready to admit that he liked you. A lot.

“Levi, Levi,” your smile grows. “Do you always take random girls out for dinner like that?”

“No,” he answered, simply.

“Okay, what I meant to ask is, do you always take random girls out for dinner at super high-end restaurants? Feel free to answer honestly,” you chuckle.

Again, “no.”

“Then what? Did you just see that I was starving and pitied me enough to buy me something to eat?” You’re pulling questions out of your ass to sway your mind from the idea you’re getting based on his responses.

“I don’t pity you, and no.”

“Then why did you buy me dinner?”

He can feel the blood pumping in his veins. His hands and feet feel staticky, like they’re numb.

“Did you not want me to buy you dinner?”

“You can’t answer a question with a question.” Your arms cross, impatience surfacing your mind.

“I just did, didn’t I?”

He was being annoying, in a rather attractive way. Levi could tell you just wanted an answer, but he didn’t want to tell you. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t stand the thought of there always being tension between you and him.

“I think you’re nice.”

It was cute, the way he was unable to look at your after what he said. It was such a simple sentence. Four words that had you feeling fuzzy.

“You think i’m nice?” You can’t say it seriously, an uncontrollable smile playing on your lips.

He can only nod, scared that he’ll elaborate on how nice you are if he says a word.

“Well, I think you’re weird and annoying.”

This had him wondering what he did wrong. What made him weird? He knows that not answering your question must have been annoying, but really, you had him stunned with that one.

“You’re also very nice, though. I’ve enjoyed our little encounters and your company tonight.”

Now that, that made him feel like he was bathing in the sun. Would he have preferred you not call him weird and annoying? No. It was so like you to say something like that.

He finds himself getting drawn in by you. You’ve bewitched him. It’s the only explanation for why he’s getting closer.

“I think you’re nice.” He takes another step.

“You said that. You must really believe it,” you reply, getting more nervous by the second.

“I do.” He takes one of your hands in his. You see him look down at it, a sly grin on his face.

“What?” You ask when he continues examining your hand.

“Your hand is so sweaty.”

You pull it back a little, not expecting him to hold it firmly.

“Why are you still holding it?”

“It only seems right that I hold your hand before anything else. Even if it’s sweaty. Am I making you nervous?”

You felt like screaming through the silence. Your heart was racing like it was going to beat out of your chest and your hands were shaking in his hold.

“I had a good time, too. I wouldn’t mind being your backup plan again, and taking you out for dinner is something I would like to do again in the future.”

“I want you to kiss me.”

The words sounded so wrong outside of your thoughts. You thought there would be a drumroll for them. Maybe you telling him that you think he’s beautiful, or even roughly telling him he’s attractive. But, no. You dove right in because you wanted to see what he would do with this information.

“You’re pretty straight forward, huh?”

“I’ve been waiting. Days, weeks, months, years.” You laugh, realizing how ridiculous you sound.

“We’ve only known each other a little over two months. How could you have waited years?”

“Did you not hear what I said? I want you to kiss me.” You look him in the eyes, trying to read the wonderful look on his face. “Kiss me or say goodnight.” It was an ultimatum for the end of the night.

“I don’t want to say goodnight,” he says, his voice quieter.

That gave him one other option, and he immediately went for it. It was a kiss that brought the stars in the sky down to your eyes. His hands rested on your waist, while yours went up to cup his face. You would be lying if you said you were going to sleep afterwards, because this is what you’ve been dreaming of. It’s happening, and you don’t need to dream about it anymore.

“Goodnight, Levi,” you mutter, a hazy smile on your face. You put your hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat to see if this kiss invoked the same feelings for him as it did for you.

“Not yet, please.” He pulled you in for another kiss, this one being longer. He had you running out of breath every time he brought you close. You loved seeing that sparkle in his eyes every time you pulled away.

“Goodnight, Levi,” you repeated, this time escaping his hold.

“Fine, goodnight.”

You waved as you headed into your apartment, Levi walking the couple feet it took to get to his apartment afterwards.

That night he went to sleep with you on his mind until his eyes shut for good.

Levi was starting to get it. He saw you and finally understood why things are so love-filled in relationships. Why you go the extra mile to please your partner, even if it’s something small like buying them chocolates. He finally got to experience the satisfying feeling that came with kissing you goodnight. It was a rush of emotions that laid dormant in him for a while, and the rediscovery of them was amazing, especially with you.

[misshoneyimhome]

Ahhh okay normally I’m a reader that loves to enjoy your writing and not a requester but these Willy fics and how well you bring others ideas to life have inspired me! (I apologize if this is a weird ask) I am obsessed with the pictures of him with the lil journalist kids and the article that came out about him and Alex as kids playing hockey and being BFFs and was wondering if you’d write something about being in Sweden and having it be the first real moment when you realize you want Will to be the father of your kids and although you know neither of you are ready for one yet the admission of you wanting kids with him, being around family and not having a lot of alone time with you since landing down makes him broody and want to get some baby making practice in with you🤭

Oh honey, I am living for this! 😊 Willy with kids is just beyond what my ovaries can handle (in a good way of course) ❤️ and love, thank you so much for your sweet sweet comment and no requests are too weird on this page 😉 I’m always open for inspiration! (Sorry I didn’t include the smutty part; let me know if that’s a wish 😉)

*

"I swear, those two were inseparable!" Camilla beamed, sharing heartwarming childhood memories of your boyfriend Willy and his brother Alex. "They competed in everything, and I really mean everything.

"That's so adorable," you chuckled, absorbing every detail of the proud Swedish mother's story.

"It truly was. These boys always shared something special between them. And watching them grow up while maintaining that connection makes a mother incredibly proud," she said, trying to hold back tears of joy.

"You have such an amazing family, Camilla," you expressed with genuine admiration. "You all seem so close; it's just truly wonderful." Your voice resonated with sincerity.

"Well, y/n, you're part of this family now," she chuckled. "We're all thrilled that William found you. He absolutely adores you."

You couldn't help but smile at her sweet words.

"Well, I adore him just as much."

"I know, we all can see it," Camilla remarked. "And who knows, perhaps one day, you and Willy will also contribute to this family," she teased with a playful wink, though her undertone hinted at a hopeful sentiment.

And as both of you smiled and chuckled together, observing William with his father Michael, you sensed a subtle shift within yourself.

**

You knew you loved William deeply. That much was certain.

And over the past couple of years of being together, you sensed that your relationship was slowly evolving into something more profound.

Initially, meeting Willy was meant to be a casual hookup, as you'd weren’t really looking for a long-term serious relationship. But things quickly shifted.

The more time you spend together, the deeper your bond got, and both of you found it difficult to let go.

Yet, being a typical young man, William struggled with expressing his feelings. Coupled with his demanding hockey schedule, being together simply wasn't easy.

And with those challenges, you had to gather the courage to bring it up. Through tearful eyes and a trembling voice, you knew you had to confront him.

"Either you tell me how you feel, Willy, or we can't continue like this! I have strong feelings about you, and I'm trying my best to adjust to your busy schedule. But if you don't want this, I need you to be honest with me so I can move on."

Those had been your words, which naturally had caused you a lot of discomfort and anxiety, yet deep down, you believed it was necessary and the right course of action.

And luckily, William had no intention of losing you. It took him a few days to realise and find the right words, but eventually, he found the courage to express his feelings.

And since then, you've been together, supporting each other through thick and thin.

And tonight, you were there with his family.

From the moment you met them, they welcomed you wholeheartedly into their arms. William wasted no time introducing you during one of their family video calls, and his pride in you was heartwarming.

Following meeting them in-person during the offseason was a truly wonderful experience. Right from the start, Alex and their sisters naturally teased William about you, and before long, you became an integral part of the Nylander inner circle, which became clear when the banter extended to include you.

However, you didn't hold back in returning the teasing, and the family absolutely loved your lively comebacks.

***

But something became different tonight, as you accompanied Camilla while William attended media engagements during the Global Series tour.

While observing your boyfriend amidst his bustling schedule, his broad smiles, infectious laughter, and his genuine radiance in his Scandinavian home of Sweden didn't escape your notice. It was clear that Sweden was where he truly belonged.

However, a new sensation emerged when a group of children approached the hockey players for a journalistic interaction. A sudden yearning for a child stirred deep within your abdomen.

Which was an unfamiliar feeling for you.

But watching your boyfriend exude such happiness and warmth around those children triggered a vivid image: a miniature version of Willy Nylander (or perhaps two), accompanying you both as you grew old together.

Maybe Camilla's words had triggered something, but regardless, you could almost hear your own ovaries clapping.

And your lingering gaze didn't escape the Swedes’s notice.

"He seems to be having a good time out there," she remarked, flashing a warm smile.

"Yeah, he truly does," you replied, trying to mask your thoughts with a deep breath, yet failing to conceal them entirely.

"He's always had a way with kids, you know," she winked before heading off to meet her husband.

Well, that did not calm down your uterus…

****

Later in the evening, you found yourself back in the hotel room with William after a day brimming with interviews, conversations, and hockey training - a schedule that left him longing to be with you.

Since their arrival in Sweden, he had yearned for your company, yet his packed schedule hardly allowed for it. However, witnessing your radiant smile around his family had put him at ease, and made him even more sure of the fact that you belonged with him.

And as you were getting yourselves ready for bed, you paced between the bathroom and the bedroom, seemingly indecisive. Abruptly stopping, turning, then hesitating before retracing your steps back to the bathroom.

"Babe," William chuckled from the bed, casually lounging under the covers. "What's going on?" His playful tone filled the room.

"Nothing... it's nothing," you replied, attempting to sound confident. But with a raised eyebrow, William sat up on the bed, prompting him to question you further.

"Come on, I can tell something's up," he insisted from the bed.

With a small sigh, acknowledging that he was on to you, you slowly approached the bed.

Glancing down at your palm for a moment, you then met his expectant gaze.

"Do you... ever... think about us... as a family?" you asked, a tinge of uncertainty evident in your voice.

The question itself didn't necessarily embarrass you, but a part of you wondered if it might be too early to broach the subject.

But William's response caught you off guard.

"Of course," he chuckled. "I mean, it's not a daily thought, but seeing the other boys with their families has made me think about it once in a while."

His smile exuded pride and confidence, yet a hint of embarrassment lingered beneath the surface.

William had never been the type to envision himself having children, not with his previous girlfriend or at any other point. However, witnessing more of his teammates embrace parenthood and witnessing the joy of family moments at the rink and in their homes reminded him of his own time with his family.

All the cherished moments he had experienced over the years with those he held dear, moving across North America and spending summers and holidays in Sweden.

In fact, something had happened a few months ago, during the off-season when he had taken you along to travel with his family; he realized that you were the one he wanted to build his own family with. However, he hadn't voiced these thoughts. Uncertain of your feelings on the matter, he struggled to initiate the conversation.

With a wide smile adorning your face, you joined him on the bed, pulling him into a deep kiss. In that moment, you were more certain than ever that this man would be the father of your children and the person you'd spend every day with.

Pulling back slightly, you maintained a smile, keeping a comfortable distance between the two of you.

"But, just to clarify, it doesn't have to happen right now... right?" You asked with a light chuckle.

"No, not right now. But I'm glad we both agree that it's in our future," he replied with a smile, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as your eyes locked.

“Good.”

"But... how about we practice for it? You know, just to make sure we'll be well-prepared," he teased, wearing a mischievous expression.

"Oh, I definitely like that idea," you chuckled.

William returned your smirk, drawing you in closer by placing his hands on your waist and connecting your lips once more.

[mitsvriii]

hello dear !! congrats on 300, 3 million next 🤞

now then, can i please have a handpicked bouquet from a nursery with roses + cosmos for either zhongli, freminet or neuvillette (i don’t mind!!)

thank you and congratulations once more ٩(^‿^)۶♡

if i could slow time

bell's notes: you cannot just drop those prompts with those characters and leave sir /gn erm 😐 /nm. breaking my heart ☹️💔😔 /lyr, also yes 3 mil for bell 🙏, dumbi 2 tril next 🫵, ty tho 💓, the 'right person wrong time' is not even noticeable im, this is so short i cannot, first time writing anything besides gn!reader so if it's inaccurate im so so sorry, not proofread

contents: zhongli x male!reader, mention of death, angst and fluff, 567 word count

summary: in which your soulmate hardly interacts with you, and the reason why is just as bad as the hurt of his ignorance

It was stupid. A crush you happened to work for has gone wild in the sense that you may or may not have noticed that his wrist was tainted with your name. This not only caused you to have an entire mental breakdown that you couldn’t let show physically, but you rushed out of the funeral parlor, nearly knocking down Hu Tao with your theatrics. 

Not to mention, you thought Zhongli was either clueless, didn’t care, or was just naturally calm about things this extreme because he saw the man who was now his soulmate every day without a stutter, shake, or a cracked-up voice; unlike yourself. Who were you to complain, though? If he acted normal and made no big deal of it, it was most likely not a big deal, right?

You only groaned out annoyingly as you pushed the thoughts away, focusing on the smell of coffins as you helped a woman pick out one for her new-found lover who turned dead because of some freak mitachurl accident. To which you could only nod solemnly in response too, praying to the archons above that something like that wouldn’t happen to you before Zhongli decided to pay attention to you being his soulmate.

It was only a matter of time before the woman left that you quite literally had enough, and rushed to knock on Zhongli’s office door, tapping your foot impatiently as you waited for him to open it. He couldn’t have let you inside at a better time before you brushed past him, albeit harshly, before turning around to face him.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Four words and you almost swore Zhongli blinked back a cry at them, a solemn smile playing at his lips before he sighed, motioning for you to sit in the chair in front of his desk.

The conversation was nothing like you had imagined in your head. No ‘I’m not into men’, no ‘There’s someone else, no ‘I’m not interested in having a soulmate, but an “I’m an archon” in its place. After letting the statement settle in, Zhongli continued with his explanation in a manner so calming that it almost made you regret your previous snap towards him just a few minutes ago.

He failed to converse with you about your souls being intertwined because he felt as if he would be burdening you with the truth that when you two got completely attached you would pass on before him, centuries before him if he was going to be honest; although it seems as if he was burdening you with the truth now.

You would grow and he would not, you would maybe adopt a child and they too would grow old and he would not, you would fear over time where you would leave him and he would not. He was afraid, afraid that you would worry so much about him and his sake of being with his soulmate, that you wouldn’t enjoy the time you spent together.

But in the end, you both agreed. The two of you would spend the rest of your time together in this world until it came for you to part, and no matter what had happened you wouldn’t feel the need to worry about what would happen to him after you eased to live.

“Because as long as I still can recall memories of you, I shall be fine.”

[koushisbabie]

UWU I HONESTLY YOUR WORK SO MUCH this is my first time on this app so I don’t really know much about it ! Thank you for putting so much effort in every post ,can I request sugawara x reader (how he would react when you keep biting your lip out of anxiety until it bleed ,cause lately I have been doing it a lot

Sorry because my English is not very good anyway HAVE A GREAT DAY ❤️❤️

Oh my gosh I am so sorry I completely forgot I got this request. Thank you for requesting a fic, and thank you for the compliment, you are so sweet T_T Comments like this give me the motivation to write more and get more creative with my ideas. In saying that, I hope your anxiety and your lip biting has gotten better <3 I don't know if you're still active on here, but I've written a small drabble (it ended up long haha) here for you! I hope you like it <3

‘Yo, Suga!’

Suga’s head appears from behind the precariously stacked wall of books on the library table. ‘Yes?’

‘Geez, isn’t that overdoing it?��� Asahi chuckles, gesturing to the books.

‘Well, I guess so,’ Suga replies, ‘but exams are only a week away.’ He shuffles aside some of the haphazardly strewn books and papers and pens, giving Asahi and Daichi space to sit down.

‘Where’s Yn?’ Daichi asks, peering around.

‘She’s around,’ Suga replies, ‘I think she went to the bathroom…’

‘I’m right here!’ Yn pops their head around the shelves. ‘I’ve been looking for this damn book for twenty minutes now.’

‘Oh yeah, looks like a long read.’

‘Can’t be helped,’ Yn says, sitting down next to Suga. ‘Tuesday’s exam is going to kick my ass if I don’t absorb this entire book.’

‘Take it easy, Yn,’ Daichi says. ‘You look a little tired, have you been sleeping alright?’

Suga glances at Daichi, then at Yn.

‘Well, yeah, kind of,’ Yn replies, nudging Suga’s arm affectionately. ‘Usually after we call.’

‘Which reminds me, I need to send you the link to this video that explains chapter eight in a bit more detail,’ Suga says absentmindedly. ‘It’s forty five minutes long but there’s some good illustrations in it that highlight how complex–’

‘You guys seem busy,’ Asahi interjects politely. ‘We should be heading off, we’ll tell the others that you’re studying this afternoon.’

‘Oh no, it’s okay,’ Yn says, glancing at their phone. ‘I actually forgot I promised I’d be home to receive a package later.’

‘You’re leaving already?’

‘Sorry,’ Yn says, ‘I’ll call you tonight, though? We can go through the last of these notes together!’

‘Yeah, sure,’ Suga replies, squeezing Yn’s hand before turning back to his notes.

Yn hesitates, before gathering their things and disappearing between the aisles of books.

An awkward silence falls between the friends, before Daichi pipes up.

‘Hey, Suga, did you see how red Yn’s lips were?’

Suga looks up from his notes, his pen paused above the paper. ‘You noticed it, too?’

‘It wasn’t subtle…’ Asahi says, quietly. ‘To be honest, I think they had been bleeding.’

‘Bleeding?’ Suga’s face fills with shock. ‘I didn’t realise it was that bad. I thought it was just sunburn.’

Daichi and Asahi share a look.

‘Okay,’ Daichi says sternly. ‘I see what’s going on. You’re too focused on your studying, you’ve neglected Yn. Maybe you should put the books away and spend some quality time with them.’

‘What do you mean?’ Suga asks, a little hurt.

‘Daichi’s right… I think Yn is really stressed. A lot of lip biting is caused by anxiety… I haven’t seen it that bad before, and I’ve known them for years.’

Suga pauses thoughtfully. ‘You’re right. The books could wait.’

‘We just mean–’

‘I have an idea,’ Suga says, grinning. ‘Thank you for slapping some sense into me.’

Yn arrives home sweating and tired, the heavy books in their bag weighing painfully on their back. They abandon the bag in the hallway and head to the bathroom, the light soft against their skin. They peer at their lips, swollen like a blossoming red rose. The urge to bite is strong, the pain satisfying momentarily distracts them from the bubbling anxiety in their belly.

Exams were only a week away but with the high percentage of worth the marks carry, anxiety had been slithering throughout the schools hallways like a giant snake stalking its prey, following students home so they could not find respite, even in their beds.

A knock at the door sounds loud and urgent.

As Yn pulls the door open, Suga almost drops the stack of books in his arms and the bags at his elbows.

‘Oh, Yn!’ Suga grins. ‘Mind if I come in?’

‘Of course,’ Yn says, bewildered. ‘Let me help you.’

In the living room, Yn places the stack of books on the coffee table, wondering how Suga could manage getting through them all with practice almost every afternoon. Despite being as passionate about volleyball as the others, he could somehow find the time to study when he really wants to.

‘So,’ Yn says, falling into the crease of the soft couch, ‘what brought you here?’

Suga glances at them, his mouth in a small frown, the creases between his brows knitted. ‘Look,’ he begins, ‘I have noticed that you’ve been a little… out of sorts, lately.’

Yn frowns, fidgeting in their lap with their fingers.

‘I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re less than beautiful, by the way!’ Suga says quickly, placing his hands on either side of Yn’s face.

Yn’s cheeks begin to flush. ‘What do you mean?’ They squeak.

Suga hesitates. ‘You’re doing it right now –’ Suga pauses, pointing at Yn’s lips, ‘you’re biting your lip too much!’

Yn swallows hard. ‘Oh. I hoped you wouldn’t notice.’

Suga smiles softly. ‘It took me a few moments to really see it.’ He hesitates. ‘I was too focused on studying, when I should have been looking out for you. I’m sorry.’

‘No, it’s okay!’ Yn blushes. ‘You’re here now! And it’s just anxiety, I mean, it’s always there, what can you do?’

‘Well…’ Suga says, turning to the coffee table. ‘I’m not sure if any of this will help, but I wanted to make up for not being one hundred percent there for you when you’re anxious.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘These are just some small gifts,’ Suga says. He opens the thick paper bags, revealing a fluffy blanket, a few lip balms, a small box of tea, a journal, and all of Yn’s favourite snacks. ‘I know it’s not much, and it can’t fix your anxieties completely, BUT I do think that tea will help, and maybe you can journal some of your worries and one of these lip balms is good for deterring lip biting, I think,’ Suga says quickly. ‘And of course, the blanket is for when it gets cooler and we can play games or something, together.’

A comfortable silence fills the room. Yn processes the gesture slowly, their eyes welling, their chest swelling with butterflies.

‘Oh no,’ Suga says, pulling Yn into a hug, pressing them to his chest. ‘I’m sorry, was it too much?’

Yn breathes in his scent, the clean soapy smell mixed with the day’s activities. Familiarity and safety is how Yn would describe Suga and his hugs, the gesture alone could deter them from the worries that plagued their mind.

‘This is too nice,’ Yn murmurs. ‘It’s just a bitten lip, why are you doing so much over that?’

‘Well, I don’t know what’s going on in the background – I’d like to,’ he says quietly. ‘I’d like to sit here and listen to you talk about what’s worrying you, if you’d let me. You never have to, if you aren't comfortable, but I’m always here.’

‘I get it now,’ Yn says, sniffling. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you because I know you’ve been busy too. Exam season gets us all, doesn’t it?’

Suga laughs. ‘It does, but it’s my job to also look after you.’

‘Does it bother you?’ Yn asks quietly. ‘My lips…’

‘Well, it looks a little painful,’ Suga replies. ‘I’d hate for you to endure the pain or get an infection. That’s why I picked up the lip balm specifically for healing lips,’ he says, reading the back of the lip balm.

Yn curls into the crook of Suga’s arm, peering at the lip balm. Suga takes Yn’s chin, and tilts their head upward, gently applying the lip balm to their lips. The cooling sensation spreads over their lips like a lovely cool breeze. ‘It feels pretty good so far, thank you. Thank you for this. I never expect you to do anything for me, but this has made me feel a lot better – just knowing you care. That you’re here for me. Thank you.’

Suga smiles warmly, squeezing Yn against his chest. ‘If none of this helps you feel less anxious, I’ll just have to squish the anxieties out of you!’

‘Well,’ Yn squeaks, ‘I wouldn’t mind the cuddles!’

[connorswhisk]

Etiquette

some daryl x glenn i owe @mrowsaysthecat from wayyyy too long ago that really isn't long enough for the time it took me to write 😭i'm so sorry

also on my ao3!

He was positive that Gina wanted him. More than positive, to be totally honest - she wasn’t exactly keeping her flirtations very… subtle with Glenn. Running her hands all up and down his arms. Laughing just a little too loudly over any joke he might crack.

They hadn’t been in Alexandria for that long at all. She really couldn’t be blamed for not knowing any better. He’d already politely told her he wasn’t interested, but the words hadn’t seemed to deter Gina and he knew he’d have to say something else, slightly more aggressive this time. Before he got a chance to, she snatched the bottle of red from the dining room table and topped off her own and then Glenn’s glass, pouring pretty damn generously if Glenn were to say so himself.

“You were getting low,” she said, face flushed pink. She pushed the drink into his hands, her fingers lingering against his. “That oughta fix things up.”

“Thanks,” said Glenn. “Listen, Gina, I really don’t - “

“Hey.” Daryl had appeared suddenly at his side, seemingly having escaped from whatever stilted conversation he’d been roped into with Reg and Pete. “Y’all doin’ ok over here?”

“Just getting to know each other,” said Gina with a tipsy smile. “You’ve sure got yourself a gorgeous friend, Mister. I didn’t want him spending the whole night alone.”

“He ain’t alone.” Daryl clapped a large paw to Glenn’s shoulder and held it there. “Our group is pretty big, case you hadn’t noticed.”

Gina laughed. “Oh no. I mean, a handsome guy like Glennie?” (Glenn stifled a snort as he felt Daryl physically bristle at the nickname) “He shouldn’t be drinkin’ by himself.”

Now here is when Glenn assumed Daryl would scoff, maybe mutter something sarcastic under his breath, and stalk off into a solitary corner like he so usually did. Glenn would politely but firmly let Gina down and strike up talk with Rick or Maggie or Jessie or whoever.

But he stiffened when he felt strong arms enfolding him from behind, and a broad, heaving chest pressed against his back as Daryl rested his chin slowly in the crook of Glenn’s neck.

“What,” Gina said, blinking repeatedly with owlish eyes. “What are you…?”

Grazingly, Daryl’s teeth nipped across the flesh of Glenn’s jugular. His lips brushed along Glenn’s Adam’s Apple, causing Glenn’s eyes to widen of their own accord.

“Ohmigod,” exclaimed Gina, hands flying up to her mouth in drunken horror. “I’m - I’m so sorry, I had no idea!”

Daryl made a grunting sound; it thrummed across the surface of Glenn’s skin and vibrated there teasingly. “Now you know,” he said, and his breath fanned out hot against the edge of Glenn’s jaw. “This one ain’t on the market.”

Gina was red as a raspberry. “Yeah, I - Yeah, I’m so sorry,” she repeated, sounding utterly mortified. With hardly a second glance in their direction, she quickly swiped the bottle from its spot on the end-table and scurried away to the opposite end of Deanna’s house, hiding herself behind the bewildered hostess.

“Ok,” said Glenn, turning his head slightly to better meet Daryl’s smoldering gaze. “You know I wasn’t planning on hooking up with her or anything, don’t you?”

“‘Course,” said Daryl lowly. He was staring at Glenn’s lips. “ She didn’t seem aware of that, though.”

Glenn shook his head. “Keep looking at me like that and I’ll start thinking you might want me.”

“Not one bit,” Daryl muttered, and covered Glenn’s mouth with his own, tongue snaking out to press against Glenn’s.

Glenn entertained the notion for a solid five seconds before reluctantly pulling away. “Public displays of affection like this are usually frowned upon when you’re in a guest’s home,” he said lightly. He was pretty sure Eric was staring at them.

Daryl snorted. “C’mon. You know I ain’t house-trained.”

“Nope.” Glenn brushed the backs of his knuckles against the side of Daryl’s stomach, and grinned at the way Daryl shuddered. “Just way too jealous for your own good.”

[olderthannetfic]

Hi ONTF, sorry to vent in your inbox but I’ve just stumbled into 3 different posts in rapid succession that had me boggling. I don’t know, they were probably just vent-y tumblr hyperbolic posts but is this really how a lot of people on here are about the media they consume?

One was about how another show ended in a queerbaiting mess (did it? Really? Does queerbaiting mean what you think it does?), the second one was about how people should boycott any show with even a hint of queerbaiting (which, in context, seems to mean with any shippy dynamic that doesn’t become canon in 2 episodes!) and the third one was about people insisting that a show is actual representation when, as much as I liked Good Omens, it just isn’t.

I was left staring at my screen with the impression that these people are either looking at meh shows they don’t actually think much of with their slash goggles firmly on and basing their opinion of the show’s worth on weather their ship becomes canon or trying to shoehorn representation in shows that they did enjoy because otherwise they wouldn’t feel as good about liking them? Idk, I guess what I’m asking is was it just 3 badly worded posts or is this an attitude you’ve noticed on this hellsite?

And at the same time if representation, no, let’s be honest: if the canonical status of their specific ship is so important to them that they can’t enjoy a show unless it’s there why do they seem to mainly be watching mainstream stuff with low chances of an actual payoff? I keep rewriting this part, I keep getting sidetracked. Basically I agree with you that people on here seem to put way too much faith in the idea that mainstream shows are writing things a certain way to bait queer audience when I think they’re just doing what mainstream shows have always done and most just don’t much care. But I wonder what has caused this idea, what gave people the expectation that their queer ship, often between well known main characters, has a chance in hell of becoming canon? Is it because roughly ten years ago a couple of shows went “actually yes, this infamous cannibal is in love with the fbi agent! Straightbait! Our main pirate is queer!”? But Hannibal and Black Sails were both pretty niche, not super popular shows. They were, and remain, exceptions. Sherlock and, idk, Got, were whole other beasts popularity wise. The fact that it is still unusual is why people where so happy and excited about ofmd! But statistically? Either a show is clearly marketed to a queer audience or the chances of a queer main character/ship are abysmally low and I don’t get why people keep doing this to themselves. Sorry, I’m rambling and confused at that absurd boycott idea and I’m curious to hear what you and others think.

--

Well... when you mostly read books by AO3y people and hang around in fanfic space, reality does cater to you. One forgets how different the rest of the world is.

And in many ways, that's a good thing.

But I spend a lot of my time on original m/m rather than big name shows, and it definitely helps.

When one swims in the AO3/Tumblr/Tiktok/whatever waters all day long and then goes back to really big media, expecting the same status quo, one is disappointed.

[capturethechaos]

I’m currently stuck sitting in LAX waiting for my flight home, so now seems as good a time as any to write my sappy little piece about the tbagg/dig era coming to an end.

(Tw - mentions of depression, death, and suicide)

I discovered this band in September of 2021. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember much from this time, I was depressed, working at the same shitty job I’m still at, I had very few friends, and I felt stuck. Like absolutely, no chance at anything but what I was doing kind of stuck.

For the first little while of me listening to GVF I was alone, listening to their songs on repeat. I hadn’t was at a dead end with writing, nothing was giving me the inspiration I needed, and I felt like shit.

But one night I was listening to them, and I just had this feeling, this warmth that filled me that I hadn’t felt in a long time and it was the best thing I could have asked for. I hadn’t touched tumblr since I was like… fourteen, maybe fifteen. So I started writing on Wattpad cause that’s what I had been using for all my older writing. I had previously posted my work for other fandoms on my page, but I hadn’t really touched it for anything else, so when I decided to redownload the tumblr app and post my GVF work, I wasn’t expecting much.

I especially wasn’t expecting what would be what I think is the best thing I could have ever asked for. Because of this band, and through this app, I’ve met some of the most amazing people.

I was twenty when I found them, and within the first month of listening and writing for them, I had found a group of friends that I couldn’t be more thankful for. These wonderful people, along with the music from this band, got me through the experience of my uncle going missing, and soon after finding out he had killed himself.

Within days I was back home, turning twenty-one on the day of the Troubadour show, switching between choppy livestreams of the show with a group of people on discord, and soon after I was waiting impatiently in a presale queue for tickets to a show in a different country, making plans with people I had met over tumblr to see the boys in Wisconsin.

The shows were postponed/canceled…

But I was already in the US when it happened. I had taken my first flight ever, on my own, to a country I had only been in once, fourteen years prior, because a band gave me the courage to make my own path, to choose the road.

I never did get the chance to see them with the group I had met that week, but I’m thankful for every day that I got to spend with them, entertaining ourselves in Wisconsin.

I’ve seen them three times since then. Twice in my own province, having gotten the chance to see them with @amouratomique and two of my best friends from home. Once at the barricade, and once in the bowl, stoned with my friends as we experienced the music that changed my life.

I thought those would be my only chances to see them on the Dreams in Gold tour, but on the drive to the airport to send Alba back to California, she asked me if I would want to go to the Anaheim show with her… and of course I said yes.

So I booked a flight, bought my ticket, and impatiently waited for the chance to see the boys again.

Then the show got postponed… but it was alright. I got to spend a week in Cali with one of my best friends, and instead of saying goodbye, we got to say see you soon. Now I’m sitting in LAX, after seeing them one last time for the DIG tour, trying real hard not to cry as a think about the amazing I’ve met because of this band, and all the experiences I would never have had if I had ignored that stupid fucking TikTok.

So to anyone I have talked to since the beginning of my time here, and to those I haven’t had the chance to get to know yet, thank you for changing my life. I love you all so much, and I couldn’t imagine where I’d be now if I didn’t know you.

Edit: I explained this to Alba after the concert, but early this month, I lost my grandfather after he had a stroke, and on the day I got the call that he had passed, after saying goodbye to him for the final time, that any choice I made to travel, and to further myself for the sake of me, and no one else, would be in memory of him. Because I knew that he was proud of my choice to explore for the sake of exploring. So despite the fact that I was already aware that I was going to cry at the show in Anaheim, it felt incredibly special to be at the barricade when the boys played the new song, and I could feel him with me.

[semifinel]

February - 2023

Games

Disco Elysium- I’ve actually been slowly going through it for over a year (I would play for a few days and then take a break for a few months and then forget where I am and restart). However I finally finished it and I can very easily say it’s one of my favorite games ever. The writing, the style, the music- what’s not to fucking love.

I could talk about this game for hours and I have actually done that enough to convince friends to play it as well. But I probably can’t say anything that hasn’t been said before me.

Great game- I might be in love with Kim kitsuragi.

Rain world(?)- to be honest I haven’t played it (yet?) but I spend way too much time watching gameplay of it and videos about it, went into a deep dive in the wiki. This world absolutely fascinates me, the ecosystem is just wow- even though it seems like a very difficult game I might actually get it one day.

Decide to include it cause it’s my list and I make the rules, also it ate a chunk of my month.

Monster hunter rise- this is my second time trying to get this game and last time I (apparently) quit before even going on a mission. To be fair it was a combination of my own stupidity and the game’s absolute horrible tutorial that made me drop it so fast.

However given a second shot I’m already having more fun, flipping and riding and monster hunting.

I have no idea if anyone ever cared about a character in this game but the monsters are cool and I love them lots.

Why is there a tower defense section is beyond me- I never liked any kind of tower defense, but this is very much the wrong game for it.

Can’t wait to try a hunt with friends- I heard it’s awesome.

Start again: a prologue- a delightful lil rpg that made me feel a lot. I love time loops as a concept already and this was executed so well- I will cry about it.

Can’t wait for in stars and time!! I need more of this cast and world.

Lookouts- another game I’ve been making my way through oh so slowly, no reason here since it’s not really long. It’s a visual novel and I have trouble focusing on reading, that’s my main issue.

However I’m happy I played it- trans cowboys on opposing sides falling in love and find a way for them to have a life- I am the target audience. I love them.

Hue- sure was a puzzle game. And it was a nice one, pretty sure I got it for free and I mostly used it as something to play while I listen to podcasts. It’s cute and not very long and the puzzles were nice.

Shows

Mob psycho s2- still doing my rewatch, still love my sons.

Darry girls s3- finally got around to it, honestly liked it less then the other seasons however it was a nice end to the show as a whole and I’m glad they wrapped it up nicely.

Animation vs Minecraft- what if I told you the animation you used to watch on YouTube as a child kept going on while you looked away. That there is now a storyline spanning several hours which is very neat and dear to my heart.

How simple are your blorbos? Mine are literally just different colored stick man (they are my sons and I love them very much).

I want everyone to watch it, you can’t understand how hard it goes in the final episodes you don’t understand ahhhhha.

Podcasts

Something rotten- did I start this podcast just cause I wanted more Jacob Geller? Yes.

Am I happy I did that? Also yes.

I do not care even a little about the games they talk about but it’s still fascinating to hear them talk about them (along other kind of related topic)

Personally never heard of Blake Hester before but glad I know him now.

Can’t wait for next season where I might play along since I have one of the games in my library for some reason.

Etc?

The prince by Abigail throne (philosophy tube)- so like one of my favorite trans creators writes a play and uploads it in full- I had no doubt it was gonna be good.

Love the characters, love the themes, and the setting (of being stuck inside a play) is very fun.

But man do I not understand Shakespearean speak but that’s more of a me thing.

Felt a lil cliche/sappy at times but it was cute so I had no problem with it.

[patrywoso]

(Heads up this is long so get comfy)

Hey lovely girl, for starters if you would like to take a break, go ahead! It’s your life and you decide how to live it :) me and the other anons will be here when you return! (Do let us know beforehand though I’m still recovering from the near heart attack I had when I found out u were in the hospital) if you would like, I can try and request more stuff but I’m afraid I only like quite a small group of people haha and my taste is kinda bad.

Hope your dad gets discharged soon darling and you can both enjoy the countryside together. If not, I do hope that you at least take some time off to recharge yourself!

I’m gonna be honest with you the study method varies by the subject and what’s being tested. There are certain ones where I do something very unhealthy called procrastinating. Basically I attempt to cramp all the information into my brain in under 24hs. Is it detrimental to my health? Yes physically and mentally. Does it work? Unfortunately so.

But a more healthy method which I rarely use is to write out everything you need to know and space out the topics each day leading up to your exam. For organisation, I use notion! I find it easier to spend some time at the start of my course to create a notion page that can keep track of all my assignments, exams and any due dates I might have. It’s also helpful as I can link the list of topics tested and see what needs to be done clearly. Additionally, when listing out the topics, I make sure to also indicate how confident I am in doing it/ remembering it while also highlighting which topics seem to be harder than the others. From there I pick what to prioritise and try to space out my study schedule evenly to ensure that I’m not studying hard topics everyday back to back cause I would literally kill myself. I’ve also found it helpful to reindicate my confidence level in the topic after revising it to see if I should take a final glance at it the night before my exam! This is for subjects/exams that require a large amount of topics or information.

Another thing I learnt off one of my classmates back when I was younger was to study smart. Make friends with people in your class, share notes, don’t be afraid to ask for help from the professors and consult them regularly! Additionally, I’ve found that everyone studies differently so what works for me might not work for you! Do take what I’m about to say with a grain of salt.

For starters, none of my study plans really worked in the beginning, so I had to invent my own. Basically, I really enjoy talking/ telling stories so I treated my content heavy subjects as like a giant talking session. I would either talk to my friends and go through the content with them, basically teaching them or I would literally just pretend I’m tutoring my siblings on what I’m studying. Additionally, treating it like a giant gossip session allows me to simplify content into memes or stories that I understand. When I used to study history, I just treated myself as like a newspaper girl spreading the latest gossip in the square lmao. It might not work for u tho but do give it a go!

This is getting kind of long but I do hope it’s helpful to you cause literally no one online helped me for years so I built all this myself haha.

For some methods that have worked on my friends but not me,

They would buy/ use whiteboards to regurgitate all the information they needed to know and draw like huge Mindmaps. This is kinda like my gossip tea spilling method except it’s silent and you look less batshit crazy doing it yourself.

One of my friends just bought notes off our really smart classmate and memorised it. Sometimes u can find free notes online/ for a discounted price so if ur short on notes start there.

My friends and I also use different study apps that lock away distraction apps on ur phone (social media etc) and u can start a timer to see how long u can study in a day. General thoughts on this is that it really isn’t for everyone. It caused me to severely neglect my health as I felt peer pressured to be studying whenever they were studying thus resulting in me not taking breaks. I called it quotes after I pushed myself to study through a fever until I actually started hallucinating my work.

These work for memorisation courses but if for whatever reason your doing things like Math (why??? This subject can burn in hell) you just need to practice. Like learn the formulas then just spend the rest of your time practicing cause this bloody subject isn’t something u can memorise. Hence it does not work well with my procrastination.

Okay this is bloody long, let me know if there’s anything else you would like to know! I’m free to answer any study related questions haha. If u do go back for your masters, that’s great! Cause we should keep on learning. But do remember to take care of yourself in the process and take breaks when necessary. You’re doing great, and that you made it so far you can complete it. Take care, love you xoxo.

Thank you so much sweetheart, i didn't mind a bit it was long cause i found it really interested to know what you do and they way you explain it and i really appreciate it so much, i have the ideas wrote down on my notebook and i will try to kind of practice them with some work related things to see how i feel and if they can help. Thank you so much for taking the time to send it you're the best.

You can always send ideas or anything, you're really good at It so if you have one you want to send do it 😊

I don't think i'm taking a break but if i do i will let you know i promise.

Hope you're having a wonderful day, love you

[castlebyersafterdark]

I’m curious to what your thoughts are on your experience as a male in the fandom?

(i am also a guy in the fandom and I feel like there’s no one here. insert that one [there are dozens of us] meme)

not that there’s anything wrong with that lol. I love the ladies! but when I first came on here I just assumed there would be more guys just cause of that direct connection/relatability to byler. obviously not straight guys, but queer guys. and yet… I was wrong lmao. and what I’ve learned since then is that fandom, especially tumblr, is heavily female-dominated. Which is so interesting cause ST is obviously a show for everyone and that’s not what I expected.

fun fact: I never specified my pronouns or gender in my account and now everyone assumes I’m also a girl, and it’s been so long that I think it’s prolly too late to clarify 😭

I’ve noticed that this lopsidedness affects both the sfw byler and the spicy byler side of things in subtle ways. not all of it is positive or negative. some of it is just… interesting.

what are your thoughts?

It hasn't really cropped up as anything too glaring, I've always been able to find a mixed bag of people online through different fandoms, but definitely it seems like demographics skew a certain way on this site. I've found over the years that even if that's the case, the big three (twitter, reddit, tumblr) are easy to just have a neutral identity if so desired, play with anonymity outside of a few people you decide to open up and chat one on one with. Even if true demographics do reflect certain numbers on sites, its not something I really feel bothered by?? I know just by true stats, more fanfic writers/readers tend to be women? I don't really know what that means, haven't thought about it too much. I've just always found comfort in escaping into media and am a big child of the internet.

I guess the one thing I find in the creative circles (not exclusive to stranger things) is maybe just different perspectives when people discuss or write a relationship or talk about sex or a type of experience that might not be theirs. Sometimes something jumps out that I just side eye and breeze past, but you really can't always tell. I just have a laugh (this is no shade!!! And there's a lot of talented writers but its like, oh boy, sometimes you encounter something and it's clear the sex scene was written by someone who knows very little practical applications about men but that's OK, its fanfic hahaha) BUT ALSO I've read published smut written by gay men too where I'm like... boy, what is this??? So I'll take odd choices in fandom writing with good characterizations of characters I already adore with maybe a few inaccuracies over the terribly written trash you sometimes suffer through off the shelf. I like to read!! That's the big thing that's always drawn me to fandom. An overactive imagination and fanfic really scratches that want for more. But truthfully, gender and identity of the blogger or writer isn't my first priority when I'm in fandom to be honest.

I guess maybe what you're getting at is something along the lines of looking for shared "community" in fandom spaces which is definitely nice but I've always just looked for connections about the media itself in nerd culture, since I get the social/community aspect in my personal life. I just like having a place to be a fan and be a little extra as hell 🤷 my friends/bf have similar interests, but not as excitable or analytical or creative about the media we all might watch so I don't really care who I encounter online as long as we click the same way. And we all have watched the show, but it's not like I spend tons of time talking about my extensive plot theories or ideas for smut fic with the irls. That's what the blogs are for haha. And I haven't noticed a big difference in stranger things compared to other fandoms I've been in (I'll say marvel for example). All the same for both problems and enjoyment, just with how huuuuge they are.

I'd love to hear what you mean by those lopsidedness observations you have about this fandom in general if you care to elaborate. No worries either way.

[journals4546]

11/24/08

Here is the truth, what I do not write in my journal.  My journal is honest also, but a separate honesty, one I would allow Ryan to be a part of.  The truth in this side journal is for myself only, what I would not allow him to know.

The truth is, I have slept with four guys since Ryan & I broke up, in the six months since I have moved back to Iowa.  JLove, a few days after the fourth of July, a disappointing dance brought on by the intoxication of a simple night, the kind you’d remember in the latter of your life as just… perfect.  The night at Big Creek, with JLove, Racha, Meanz, Krystal, Brandon, & others, boating, midnight skinny dipping in a secluded cove, live music, an ecstasy achieved not by libation but by the simple perfection of the night.  Conclusion coming with naked cuddling with JLove in his bed, which turned into sex not out of attraction but a certain loneliness, missing Ryan, my eyes clamped shut & seeing his face, imagining it was he who was pounding into my body, though Ryan was never as awkward as JLove.  With Ryan our bodies moved to the same rhythm, one I can’t seem to find with any else.  No orgasm on my end, no reaching the height of pleasure.  Forgettable.

Then Jon Leopold, one boring, drunken night in Ames.  A way to pass the time.  Nothing worth remembering but the regret.  Maybe only done to see what it would be like to have bedded one of the most popular guys in my school, a reason too embarrassing to admit to anyone.  Leopold is the stereotype of all high school jocks - cocky & popular, with a future of drowning out his ten bastard children & job at the gas station with the beer that gives him his spare tire around his waist, looking fondly back on when girls used to giggle to be pinched on the ass by him.  I think Bitchtoria put it best when the next day she asked me, “So how disappointed were you?”  A night I’d sooner erase from my memory.  Funny how attractiveness in youth causes cockiness, in middle-age brings an inflated sense of entitlement, & in old age begets gratefulness.

The third, my own private secret only Racha knows, a half-asleep nocturnal two-night bout with Nich.  “I don’t want things to get weird.”  “Trust me, that’s not something you need to worry about.”  Neither time did he seem to enjoy it (though he instigated it), & it was only a form of stress release for myself.  An end to our late-night cuddling parties, as apparently he did let it get weird.  Not a bad way to spend two nights, but not worth how disconnected he’s seemed since, like he was afraid to be alone with me, as if he’d feel obligated.  I don’t understand; after the second tryst I had no further interest in having sex with him, & I’d never behaved any differently than I usually did, I’d even stopped flirting with him.  But ever since, our relationship has altered from the great state it once was in, & this saddens me.

The final, & by far most gratifying, satisfying person ironically, was just a boy, eighteen years of age, still holding onto that innocent sweetness that I’m sure will begin to dissipate in about a year or two, when the hardness of the world begins to slowly retard his zest for life.  He is the new roommate of the friends in the apartment above mine: tall, muscular, swooped white-blonde hair.  He is almost translucent, he reminds me of the yellow-haired boy in the film “Elephant.”  A bourgeoning hippie with a taste for metal music & hockey, a very boyish masculinity, smokes pot & drinks rum straight.  I met him for a moment in my living room the same night I went to the bar with Fake Plastic Dave, & then again two nights ago in James & Dylan’s apartment.  We flirted, he loved my dimples & I could tell he had found an idol in Nich.  He & I were up long after the rest had left, playing my SuperNintendo, he was thrilled & amazed that I still had one.

Then yesterday at work I texted Dylan, “So… I know it’s very eighth-grade of me to ask you, but…  What’s up with your friend?”  Dylan gave me his number.  I messaged him “Are you at the apartment, because I want to play some Mario!”  Awhile later when I’d gotten off of work, he messaged me back, “Who wants to play?  I’ll race you to the room!”  I laughed, told him I had to get dressed first.  He told me no way, we’ll play naked!  Too late, I responded.

In the midst of a movie, with James asleep on the couch & Dylan in bed, Blond & I were on the other couch, bundled up in blankets.  Too shy to be bold, I began texting him on the phone, being flirtatious & coy.  I was definitely rusty, not having had to flex those muscles since Ry & I first met.  It seemed he also had just gotten out of a relationship recently & was not looking for it again.  I told him I was in a similar state, & only looking for non-awkward fun.  He jokingly asked if I wanted to do the “triple-B-D” (Racha-speak for “boom boom banana dance,” or sex) & I responded “Are you really asking me that through text?”  Later, after a short silence, I asked him, “Wanna cuddle up?” & he responded with a smart-ass “Are you really asking me that though text?”  I laughed, told him aloud I was shy, & he said “Well come on over here!”  So I did.

We eventually went down to my apartment, got in my bed to “watch a movie.”  He took his shirt off at one point, & I was breathless at the beauty of his body, in its prime, a small amount of chest hair as blond as the hair on his head, & a darker patch of hair beginning around & below his navel.  Flat stomach, not deathly skinny as JLove but not chubby, muscular but soft.  Absolutely beautiful.  Ryan’s body is warm, comforting; I take comfort over beauty any day, I’m always intimidated by beauty, as much as I enjoy it.  His beautiful body was in stark contrast to my own scarred & misshapen battlefield, tangible proof of experiences he probably couldn’t fathom yet in his innocence.  No matter how old I get, I will always lose my breath at the visage of a perfect eighteen-year old male body, its ripples, muscles, flanks, hair, hips, forearms, collar bone.  I could lay down in worship of a beautiful form like Blond’s, I’d never seen quite as flawless a specimen, the build that results from years of hockey, working summers in construction, & a diet of pot, rum, cigarettes & fast food.

After a bout of more flirting & coy teasing, he suddenly turned over & began kissing me, hard, quick, barely stopping to breathe, his hands running all over my body, lightly, then adding more pressure.  He was somewhat shy until this moment, quiet unless spoken to.  Here, he seemed more in control, confident.  His lip ring pressed into my bottom lip & I immediately thought of Ryan.

I believe my favorite, most addictive sensation is that of right before the point of entry, that flushed, tingling, rushed anticipation.  I like to draw it out, suspended in ecstasy, eager endorphins rushing to my head, making the wetness between my legs flow thick as honey.  The previous three men failed to allow me even a moment of that enjoyment.  With Blond it seemed to last for twenty minutes, when in reality it was probably no more than two or three.  He moved at a leisurely pace, as if we had all the time in the world; he took his time exploring my ragged body, leaving a trail like electricity everywhere his fingertips traveled.  A young boy, eagerly pawing a new toy.  There seemed to be an unexpected grace in everything he did, like it was all one fluid motion.  And then, entry, the feeling of fullness, a sense that my body was no longer my own, not in my control, every slight move a source of pleasure.  The feel of strong muscled arms holding up my writhing body, rigid until orgasm, then limp, weakened until the sensation had passed & the energy returned in search of the next heart-shaking explosion, eruption.  His body convulsed, shook in a rapid succession that sent jolts of pleasure through my insides, when I rode atop him & he was thrust as deeply as possible inside of me.

Still entranced by his beauty, I did not mind bowing my head to him, taking him into my mouth, as I do with others.  Even his penis was beautiful, large, throbbing, tasted only of skin, not sour as others can be.  He & Ryan are the only two experiences where I felt enjoyment in that act, which for myself seems so much more intimate even than copulation, more personal.  I wonder if it was only his beauty that made it pleasurable for me, a joy & not a burden, when I would never otherwise perform this task for someone I had only met twice before, or was it some other reason I’m consciously unaware of.  Something about him reminds me of the relationship I had with the Asshole, before its terrible demise.

After the act & its conclusion, we were relaxed, tired, comfortable with each other.  Jokes were made about the parallel between his former hockey career & the hat trick he performed that night.

After he left, I collapsed, satisfied, exhausted, into my pillows now caked in sweat, & slept hard through the night, better than I have in months.

A text to Racha before I closed my eyes, “SO.  WORTH.  IT.”

Then I woke this morning in a great mood, a smile on my face, a bounce in my step.  I played hooky from work for a few hours, I needed the rest.  Not much could ruin this good mood for me, not even Nich laughingly telling me he’d read the texts I’d sent & received.  Embarrassment didn’t redden my cheeks, I’m sure I practically glowed from the previous night.  It was exactly what I’d needed, a night of good sex with a beautiful body, after these cold months of loneliness.

I haven’t seen him yet, gone upstairs, or ran into him in the halls of our apartment building.  I’m not horribly rushed to see him, this is the part I hate.  We made a deal not to let it get awkward, but I have no idea whether he’ll keep to it or not.  And although I would not mind repeating the experience, I’m not sure if he’d be interested.  Also, being the young, unassertive guy he is, I’m not sure he’d even tell me if he was interested.  I don’t have much faith that he & I will share a similar relationship as I did with the Asshole, as easy & carefree, able to just call each other up & put out the invitation.

Yet, were we to achieve this level, what would happen if or when Ryan were to actually make good on his promise of a visit?  Would Blond get weird?  Would Ry catch on?

No; Ryan will never know about this, there is no reason for him to know.  We are not together (his choice, not mine), & I’m certain that if he were to do something with someone (if he hasn’t already), he would never tell me.

Blond had wanted to discourage me against a relationship with himself; I felt like telling him, “dearest, there is but one boy with whom I would ever have a relationship, & not even you with your beautiful body are within lightyears of measuring up to him.”

[strangerofunova]

On Dragon types, follow up

Your last post made it seem like you really don’t like the kanto champion. Why do you think Lance is a bad trainer? 

I didn’t really see a need to write a follow up to my post about dragon types from the other day, until I got a reply to that email I’d sent out. That’s right, the kanto champion himself wanted a moment of my time, and I figured I’d hear him out. 

Let me make one thing clear, I have no personal vendetta against Lance or his family. That being said, his supporters have been a frequent critic of my work since even before I started blogging about it. They believe what I do causes people to overthink things, that the best way to be a good trainer is to trust your instincts, without ever realizing that not everyone has been blessed with as good of them as their champion’s.

We met for coffee at a well forgotten spot in castelia. Lance’s dragons were in high spirits, a recent tournament in full swing, and he seemed to be focused on tempering their energy.

He seemed amused by my remarks on dragon types, though he wondered if I should tone down the rhetoric so as not to risk giving them a stigma.

I replied that I didn’t think such a thing was possible with trainers like him around, and that he should spend more energy on keeping the people’s expectations realistic. Trainers like him are what causes unprepared novices to rush into something they can’t handle, in turn leading to those dragons being released, or worse.

We butted heads on what a champion should be, with Lance feeling his role as an idealistic leader was best for his region, and myself arguing that Iris was the perfect example of someone who could be looked up to, but hasn’t forgotten what it was like to be a nobody just starting out on their journey.

The arrival of our drinks calmed down the discussion, lumiose blend does wonders for the nerves both human and otherwise. The champion seemed unbothered by my accusations, giving a thoughtful look as he mulled over an issue he’s likely confronted countless times. 

I apologized as my frustration subsided, having never intended to make a scene. I laid out my own stakes in the issue, having once been made the unwilling caretaker for an abandoned pokemon myself.

He gave me a knowing nod, and casually let it slip that he had conducted a thorough background check before agreeing to this meeting, which in fact was why it took him so long to reply.

We sipped at our drinks, his eyes taking frequent glances at the time, seemingly waiting for a response. I apologized again for taking so much of his afternoon, and said I had one final question, a simple one. Why doesn’t it bother you? Why are you seemingly indifferent to all the pain I’ve indirectly caused with Team Plasma?

The champion’s posture changed, leaning against the table, eyes fixed with an intensity I’d only ever seen from a distance on news broadcasts. He quickly corrected and softened it, returning the way he’s always carried himself in the public eye, but for a moment I swear I caught a glimpse of someone few people will ever meet.

An alarm from his phone snapped him back to reality, we were out of time. I thanked him for his honesty, and wished him well in his battles. He in turn apologized for his demeanor, and hoped he hadn’t soured my opinion of kanto with his remarks.

And as he rushed off to the opening ceremony, I still couldn’t bring myself to hate him. If I’m honest he gave me more of his time and consideration than my post realistically deserved. However as he walked away, the only concern in his mind seemingly the tournament ahead of him, I could not help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, it would do the world some good if he would let that mask of his slip.