#cause if i know the author i cant read it anymore

[louiseyesinsky]

.

[coryndoll]

not so bad

college!rafe cameron x reader au

— in which rafe and y/n absolutely despise each other in public but crush in secret. rafe is failing his humanities class & is assigned y/n as his tutor . . . maybe all it took for this relationship to form was just a bit of forced proximity and some time.

warning(s): cuteness, lore, kisses

authors note: SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE but eeee we get a clear hint that y/n lived in figure 8 back home with rafe !! also in this au, rafe and y/n are aged down to 18-19 while everyone back home in obx are still 16

++ also sorry !! if u havent been added to the tag list yet ( even though uve asked ) its mostly been because i cant tag u. idk why tumblr isnt letting me but ill try to tag in comments for anyone who cant be tagged in my posts !!

seven | eight | nine

rafe had agreed to join you at the dining hall for breakfast alone to talk about last night. you’ve felt guilty since you read his message, but at the same time the sight of rafe going upstairs with that girl has you upset. you’re conflicted. you barely got any sleep last night because of it.

“i miss the waffles i’d have back home,” rafe was telling you as the two of you enter the dining hall and head straight for the food. “now it’s just sad.”

you look over at the waffle station that’s accompanied by a line of students. it’s usually this way and you can tell he means he doesn’t eat waffles anymore because of it.

“is there usually not a line leading to breakfast cooked by the private chef in your abundance of a home?” you ask him, and you approach the bagels to toast one.

“jealous?” rafe puzzles, to which you raise your eyebrows at.

“never that,” you say with a shake of your head, and you lean against the counter.

once you’ve collected all that you want to eat, you lead rafe to an empty table. the hall is loud and active, but you do your best to find something in a corner where there’s the least amount of people. you set your food down before settling down simultaneously.

“sorry for telling you to get out last night,” you start with, and you watch as rafe prepares his food. “i didn’t see your text ‘til after you fell asleep so . . . just wanted to talk today and hear you out.”

“thanks,” rafe mutters as he grabs his cup of juice, taking a gulp of it before placing it back where it was. he leans forward, crossing his arms on top of the table. “i’m assuming you saw that girl.”

“right.”

“that was . . . someone i talked to when i first got here,” he tells you, using his hands slightly to explain himself. “i met a girl the first day i was moving into my dorm. we talked for maybe like . . . a week, and then classes started and i just found other hobbies.”

you pick at your eggs. “do you mean hookups?” you ask him, and without having to look at him, you can tell he’s grimacing.

“we never even made things official but i guess she was hoping that to happen. haven’t given her a single thought since the first day of school but she caught me at the party,” he continues, and you lean back in your chair. “honestly when she brought me upstairs she was just yelling at me the whole time. i don’t know if you heard—”

“the music was loud rafe, no one heard you, i’m sure,” you tell him.

he gives you a slight glare for interrupting him. “whatever. i told her what she was saying was bullshit and she got mad at me,” he says. “i thought i should’ve told you ‘cause i . . . i don’t know. enzo and lara know about her but you don’t. didn’t want you to think i was just gonna have sex with some random girl.”

“you can do what you want rafe, it’s not like it’s any of my business if you choose to do something like that,” you say. he stares at you in silence and it’s a little concerning. you can’t read the expression at all. “but thanks for telling me anyway.”

“yeah,” rafe murmurs as, just on time, lorenzo and elara approach the table once they find you two there. you send them a smile as they come over, but rafe is still staring at you, guilt still glinting in his eye, “anytime.”

“how does morrison explore the concept of memory and its effects on identity in ‘beloved’?” you read a question to one of your assignments out loud. you’re sitting in rafe and lorenzo’s dorm with the two boys, all spread out across the room.

with an uneasy look on his face, rafe scratches the back of his head, “i don’t fuckin’ know.”

“maybe we should take a break,” you suggest, to which the boys agree to immediately. you lift your ipad off your lap and settle it down on the spot on the floor beside you, and you lay down. “i could go for some . . . something to drink maybe.”

“café?” lorenzo asks and you hum in approval. he checks his phone for the time, “i could dr . . . oh shit. no, i have to meet up with lara like now. i can’t make it guys. sorry.”

he gets up to grab his bag, and you look over to rafe to see if he’s still okay with going. it’s only five. you doubt he has anything else planned today.

rafe gets up from his bed. “i’ll drive,” he volunteers.

“let me go change first,” you say as you grab your slippers and leave to your dorm since it’s cold out. “bye lorenzo!”

“bye y/n!” you hear him call from his dorm as you slip into yours, throwing on a hoodie and changing your bottoms to wear some sweats, then pull your sneakers on. you put your hair up before heading outside where rafe is already waiting.

he’s fiddling with his keys when he spots you, and he points behind him, “let’s go.”

you follow rafe out of the dorm building and to the parking lot to find his car. this is your first time being inside. you slide into the passengers seat quietly and put on your seatbelt. within moments, rafe backs up out of his spot and drives you two out of the lot.

“thank you,” rafe says to the cashier after your order is complete and paid for, thanks to rafe. you turn around and head for the first table you see, but rafe seems to find more interest at the table in the very back corner against the window. you have no choice but to follow him.

you settle down in the chair and pull your phone out of your pocket, just to check any and all texts from family. you look like a fool as you keep checking the message app and your lockscreen notification for something, anything. rafe can tell you’re just trying to fill the void.

“remember that time when we were kids and they were hosting that charity gala,” rafe begins to recall, and your gaze slowly falls on him. “there was that ballroom dance and our parents paired us up.”

“you stepped on my foot,” you remind him.

“you were so serious trying to dance while hobbling around on one foot,” he returns, and the memory of 6-year-old you makes you smile softly. “the step was an accident by the way. i didn’t know my lefts from my rights . . . or— or remember the school play we did in 5th grade? where i was the prince and you wore a dress?”

you deadpan. “‘cause i was the princess,” you say, then shake your head. “i remember you forgot your line and i had to tell you what it was.”

“i thought you were so annoying for that,” rafe’s words causes you to laugh, and he grinned from ear to ear. “like i told my sister how much of a know-it-all you were. you showed me up in our play.”

“i remember summer camp,” you add on to the list of memories.

for a moment rafe has to think about it. “what?” he says, a little confused. “when?”

“the first year we went,” you say like it’s obvious. “the tug-of-war had me on edge for months.”

“oh!” rafe laughs when he realizes what you’re talking about. “yeah you were talking all that shit, then you guys lost and you accused us of cheating.”

“‘cause you probably were,” you play along with the bit that you’re still mad, and thankfully rafe sees right through it because he laughs again. “i couldn’t stand even looking at you after that ‘cause i felt so humiliated.”

he shrugs, “don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

“shut up,” you say, kicking at his leg gently. he only smiles as his name gets called out at the front. you get up and follow rafe to the counter where he checks for both of your drinks, handing you yours, and then grabbing two straws.

rafe bites the paper open and pulls the straw out of it, then sticks it in his cup. “come on, i got something to show you,” he says with a wink, and he leads you outside quickly.

after driving just ten minutes and damn near finishing both of your drinks in the process, rafe leads you out to stairs that lead down.

from the car already, you can see a bunch of string fairy lights that go from tree to tree. it leads down a path to walk on but on one of the sides, past the concrete shoulder of the sidewalk there’s the ocean.

it’s getting darker and the blues from the sky and water just look so perfect.

“it’s beautiful out here,” you say with furrowed brows, surprised that you’ve never seen this before. “we’re just ten minutes from campus?”

“that’s what i said,” rafe agrees with you, and you laugh as you lean into him for a moment. your gaze falls upon the few people walking in either direction down the path, most are families though. you can’t help but think of yours.

you’re hoping to plan a day where your family comes down here though. it’s been in the works. so far it’s just been facetimes when everyone’s free but seeing them would feel so nice. they would love a place like this too, you’re sure of.

rafe has bitten down on his straw but he’s looking forward around the area as the two of you walk. “i spy with my little eye . . .” he trails off, and before he continues, you erupt in a laugh. “something green.”

your smile fades when he says this. that’s the worst color he could’ve picked for this game.

“oh, i wonder,” you say, sarcasm laced through your voice as you look around, pretending to think about it. “the grass. the trees. my drink.”

“you can’t go three times,” he tells you before you guess your fourth. you continue to walk beside him, taking in the fresh air. “it was your drink.”

“who could’ve guessed?”

“can you just shut up?”

soon it’s been an hour of roaming the city, with the both of you giggling and exploring your new home some more. you’re sitting on a park bench staring at the water when you and rafe walk all the way back to where you were before.

you’ve leaned your head against his shoulder as you chew on your straw, even though you’ve already finished your drink.

“did you and enzo meet just from being roommates?” you ask him after a bit of silence, and you lay your head on him a different way to look at him a bit. or try to. all you can see is his jaw and cheek. “is that how you met lara?”

he thinks about it for a moment. “yeah that’s how we met. i didn’t even wanna have a roommate but you know . . . and enzo’s a great guy. he’s never really left my side even when i told him to go away. he met lara at some party in august or something.”

“that’s cute,” you mumble, lowering your head to position it where it was before, and you stare at the water. “they’re really cute. when i met enzo it was like i couldn’t even tell he had a girl like that. but when i met lara for the first time it all just made sense.”

“they’re each others best friends,” he confirms, and it brings a smile on your face as you pull your straw away and gaze down at it. “do you miss home?”

“like every day,” you answer honestly. “every second of every hour of every day, probably ‘til i graduate and probably ‘til i die.”

“you’re not moving back home after college?” rafe asks you, and you shrug.

“was never really in my books to go back home. after i committed to this university i just assumed i’d . . . i don’t know, find a home here,” you say. “your sisters were pretty cool though.”

“you’re too old to be sarah or wheezie’s friend,” rafe says with a light scoff.

you scoff back and sit up, looking at him. “you’re friends with people like topper,” you tell him since he can’t be the one to talk. “isn’t he sarah’s age?”

“please,” rafe mutters as he averts his gaze elsewhere, “he was always just trying to get in my good graces ‘cause he likes her. or loves her. whatever.”

“they’re dating now, no?”

“before,” he says. “think she’s with that pogue now. john b.”

“pogue,” you repeat, scrunching your nose. “you can’t use that word anymore. we aren’t back home.”

“it describes him perfectly,” he says in an ‘as a matter of fact’ tone, before murmuring under his breath, “among other things.”

“they’re just kids. leave them be,” you say, and you lay back down to lean your head on his shoulder again, getting comfortable. “i’m really glad you got accepted into the same college as me, rafe.”

these words come in just a bit above a whisper, though he hears you perfectly, and it comes to a bit of a shock for him. he looks down at you quietly, before carefully moving his arm that has been resting on top of the bench to pull you in for a hug.

“me too,” he mumbles.

you get up again and lock eyes with the boy immediately. you can see him underneath the lamp post lights perfectly, just at the right darkness but just at the right brightness.

your gaze flickers down to his lips and back up to his eyes. out of impulse, you consider what feels like the craziest decision to make in that moment and lean in, but what surprises you is rafe takes advantage of the opportunity.

his hand comes up to hold the side of your face as he pulls you in, and your lips press together. it’s not a soft kiss, it’s not a gentle kiss. it’s a desperate, hungry kiss filled with all the emotions he’s been holding back.

you’re kissing like you’ve been starved of oxygen and the other is the only one who can provide it. his lips move urgently against yours, his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. he doesn’t care about anything else in the world at this moment, just you and this kiss.

when rafe pulls his head back to see your eyes, he feels like he fucked up. he stares right at you, and your thoughts seem to be going behind his eyes. he starts to pull away, about to apologize, “fuck, sorry y/n, i didn’t—”

“just shut up,” you murmur before grabbing his collar and pulling him back in for another kiss. he moans softly when you do, his hands gripping your waist tighter. he loves the feeling of your lips against his, it’s almost unbearable.

his second kiss is just as desperate as the first, but this time he tries to slow it down a bit. he breaks the kiss to catch his breath, his forehead pressed against yours as he looks into your eyes. “y/n . . .” he begins, his voice shaky. “you have no idea long how i’ve been wanting to do that.”

“kept me waiting long enough,” you say as you stare deep into his eyes with a soft smile, and rafe shakes his head as he grabs your jaw and guides you to his lips again.

@svnsetcrve @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @lalalalala33 @darkcolorexpert @babyflockaaaa @lifeofleasaasa @ilyrafe @mkiverd @wxn-drlst @maybankslover @wearemadeofstardust0 @thepopcultureaddict @mounthings @mfcouture @ijustwanttoreadlols @karmasloverrr @lilithblackkk @drewsdirtyslut @rafesno1bae

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 5/? (read part 4 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

warnings. it’s GROVELLING time !! sad charles, sad reader, swearing, everyone still kind of hates charles (as they should) angst but not quite as angsty as the last part

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. i hope this is enough suffering for you guys 😭 i’m weak tho so there’s a tinyyy bit of progress at the end 👀 i feel like this one’s a bit messy so i’m sorry about that?? it’s also kind of just setting up the next part but oh well 😭 anyways, LAST PART COMING UP NEXT ☹️ i’m gonna miss this series :’(

NOW PLAYING | Singapore 2023 post-FP1 interview: Charles Leclerc

COMMENTS 32k

username i’m still charles’ number 1 hater rn but he looked so sad at the end… ☹️

username girl no we need to be strong! don’t fall for the sad puppy dog eyes (i know he’s cute but srsly don’t) 🫠

username you’re right, you’re right 😔 haters until the end 🫡

username sir don’t try and blame your shitty mistakes on y/n 😭😭

username HE LOOKS SO SAD I CANT 🥲

username i really hope y/n sees this and realises he’s actually sorry

username no way that’s too easy. charles needs to apologise properly !!

username oh my GOD the way he started smiling when he said y/n is his ‘lucky charm’ AND THEN THE WAY IT DROPPED WHEN HE REMEMBERED THEY’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE IM GONNA SCREAM 😭😭😭💔💔💔

username charles do you see what you’re doing to us charlesy/n stans?? PLEASE JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL FFS 😫

username i swear if these two don’t pull their heads out of their asses soon I WILL COMMIT MURDER

username so real bestie 😔

username it’s such an invasion of privacy to ask about this though 😭

username fr the press don’t know when to keep out of it 😒

username i think he knows he’s in love with her now, he’s just not sure how to fix things ☹️

username i’m scared this feels like right person wrong time you know? 😃

username don’t say that 🫣 i’m just praying y/n forgives him. as soon as he apologises properly ofc, can’t make it too easy for him mwahahah

username i want to keep hating him but i’ve never seen him look that sad 🥲

username CHARLES YOU DONT GET TO ACT LIKE THE VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CAUSED THIS

username so true. he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and apologise 🙄

liked by yourfriend and 47,837 others

yourusername always on my mind ☁️💫

view all comments…

username SHE’S BACK IN MONACO GUYS EVERYBODY STAY CALM

username MOTHER HAS RETURNED !!!

username wait is that f1 she’s watching on her phone? 🤨

username omg it is 🤭

username SHE WATCHED THE RACE OMFG

username charles podium as well 😩😩

username it’s like he knew she was watching 🥹

username i hate how quickly everyone’s switching up on the charles situation just because of that interview but at the same time i can’t deal with my parents fighting anymore i need them to make up 😫

leclerc_pascale Bienvenue à la maison, ma fille ❤️ / welcome home, my girl

yourusername 🥰

arthur_leclerc YOU’RE BACK

yourusername did you forget? i literally saw you twenty minutes ago 😭

username the caption 🤔

username we can all agree she’s talking about charles, right?

yourfriend ma femme 🤩 / my wife

yourusername mon amour 😘

username she is everything.

username forget her art SHE IS THE ART RIGHT THERE

charles_leclerc belle / beautiful

username EXCUSE ME??

username SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE PHAHAHA

username charles get tf out of here 😭

username i love how y/n’s just straight up ignoring him 😭

username CHARLES IS HERE GUYS HOW ARE WE FEELING

username i’m so conflicted rn

username like i want them to make up but at the same time he needs to SUFFER like he made y/n suffer

username fr, make him squirm a little 😌

username idk guys, if charles leclerc commented ‘belle’ on MY instagram, i’d be on my knees in an instant 🫣

username girl please 😭

username charles babe please go away you’re ruining the vibes x

username i swear to god if he’s here just to fuck with y/n’s head again i’ll fucking kill him

username he wouldn’t do that

username @charles_leclerc if you want to win her back this is NOT the way to do it

arthur_leclerc @charles_leclerc what did i tell you? 👀

username HAHAHA ARTHUR STOP

joris_trouche @charles_leclerc you should listen to our advice mate 😃

yourfriend @arthur_leclerc @joris_trouche shut up both of you 😒

joris_trouche yes ma’am 🫡

username they’re all ganging up on him 😭

liked by formula1updates and 9,736 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L/N spotted at the same night club in Monaco 👀

view all comments…

username OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING??

username there’s no way this is coincidence charles is boutta beg for forgiveness i’m calling it

username y/n’s actually smiling tho 😭 charles please don’t ruin it x

username we need y/f/n to scare him off before he can ruin her night 🤞

username AHAHAHA YES

username what i’d give to be in that club rn 😔

username fr y/n better be roasting him 😭

➜ part 6

taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

hi! i saw on your shipping chart you had meenah and cronus as moirails and noted 'would have prevented all problems' and ive never really seen that take before. id love to hear your thoughts on that if you wanted to talk about them, your analysis in general is always amazing

Sure! I know this one's going to be controversial, but TBH I'm kind of fascinated by their dynamic. So please bear with me here and come into it with an open mind; I was also really surprised when I noticed what was going on.

Also, standard disclaimer that nobody has to agree with me or ship my ships, I literally don't care, HCs are valid, death of the author, etc. etc. This is just a canon discussion blog, and there's kind of a weird amount to read into in the canon between these two.

Okay, so, first of all, quick refresher on moirallegiance: it's not necessarily about being BFFs, it's very specifically about pacifying each other, keeping each other calm and stable, and preventing each other from causing harm to oneself or to others.

Ergo, the marker of moirallegiance rests not on "do these two get along as BFFs?" and instead on "do these two keep each other calm and/or mitigate each others' harm".

So with that out of the way, Cronus and Meenah. We know that Cronus has a redcrush on her, echoing Eridan's redcrush on Feferi, and that Meenah is not interested at all. Cronus shoots his shot with her, she's like ick, no & leaves, and that's that on that. Cronus then rounds on Mituna and says some unbelievably cruel and shitty stuff, but here's Point #1 - Meenah shows up again, and Cronus stops immediately, and then is noticeably calmer and friendlier to Mituna. Compare:

CRONUS: you are a brain damaged reject on a team full of rejects. a rejects reject. i vwould havwe culled you myself if that vword meant vwhat it should havwe on our planet.

-

CRONUS: vwell, this is clearly absurd, but nyeh, vwhat the heck. CRONUS: mituna, i just cant take it anymore. i think my ghost is going to kill itself. MITUNA: WH0W4H L375 FUCK!!!!! CRONUS: vwait... CRONUS: really? MITUNA: N0 0Y0 P135H3 0FF 1ND107 FUGG1NG G4R484G3  #FUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0UFUCKY0U CRONUS: oh.

So at the very least, SOMETHING conciliatory seems to be happening here, whether that's pale or ashen. But I'm going with pale, because it continues.

Their second conversation together is really interesting - not only has Cronus stopped redflirting with her, but he no longer even seems interested. Compare this to the section with Mituna above:

CRONUS: oh sure. no grub sauce on your hands! MEENAH: wow you did it MEENAH: ampora you totally changed my mind about you lets start makin out immediately  #not CRONUS: just admit it. you havwe it vwithin you to be just as harsh to our behelmeted buddy as i am, if not more

Like, he doesn't even ACKNOWLEDGE the "let's make out #not". Not even in an indignant "see, you keep playing with my collapsing and expanding bladder based vwascular system" kind of way. Literally just breezes right by it, which says to me that he isn't even really that into her concupiscently.

But more interesting are the actual contents of the conversation. Cronus is the only person on the entire team who's able to make Meenah have misgivings about how awesome the Condy is.

MEENAH: man MEENAH: a girls gotta have fuel for her pimp ride know what im sayin MEENAH: like MEENAH: i probably took care of him good MEENAH: you know how it is someones gotta take care of the guy anyways MEENAH: and... yeah #38(

This is the first and only time that Meenah even acknowledges that the Condy - herself at her worst - is kind of shitty. This is the first and only time she's ever expressed any emotion for the Condy other than fangirlish admiration or rage against Caluborn for enslaving her. For whatever reason, she actually listens to Cronus when Cronus takes her to task, and he's actually able to make her genuinely reflect on her worst tendencies.

But maybe more damning is the fact that in their first real conversation together for nearly an eon, she almost fixes him:

MEENAH: i heard a rumor you think youre a human now MEENAH: that true CRONUS: its a privwate matter. i dont see vwhy i should havwe to talk about it vwith you, and open myself up to more of your judgmental scorn. MEENAH: sounds like another desperate cry for attention imo

[...]

CRONUS: to be honest, she might be right. sometimes i think i might only be saying im a human to get attention. maybe i should givwe it up.

Cronus's fundamental emotional problem is a sense of purposelesness and ennui. Born into a caste of high privilege, with his identity overshadowed by said position, he's been handed an unpleasant cocktail of entitlement, lack of true emotional support or connection, and lack of a real, authentic personal identity - especially because the thing he DID seem to derive a sense of identity and purpose from - his little Harry Potter wizard backstory - was driven out of him. In other words, he's kind of a shitty rich kid that doesn't really know who he is outside of that, and his humankin stuff is an attempt to fill the wizard hole without addressing his real underlying issues. It's a Bad Thing for him to be doing, and something he should drop in order to start addressing his genuine insecurities, feelings of emptiness, and lack of identity or purpose. In other words, it's harm he's performing on himself, and a single conversation with Meenah being enough to make him reconsider it? Hmmmmmm.

In fact, I'm not the only one picking up on the pale vibes. The specific way that Kankri interrupts the two reads as incredibly pick-me in pale:

KANKRI: Listen, I was d9ing y9u a fav9r. Y9u d9n't need t9 6e dating any9ne wh9 can't appreciate y9u f9r wh9 y9u really are, 9r m9re imp9rtantly, which fantasy versi9n 9f y9urself y9u m9st str9ngly identify with.

[...]

I just wanted y9u t9 kn9w that I'm here f9r y9u, and am prepared t9 lecture t9 y9u extensively, I mean, listen t9 y9u extensively, a69ut y9ur ultra-imp9rtant pr96lem.

"Don't take Meenah's advice about your problems! Take mine instead, I care about you sooo much more than she does!" lol. I have a whole essay on how Kankri and Cronus are actually super toxic for each other, in an interesting foil to Karkat and Eridan, which I'll link here in a bit (I'm on mobile RN and it's hard enough C/Ping my sources).

In any case, Kankri slides in at exactly the moment where Meenah's about to fix Cronus, and proceeds to make Cronus worse. The details are in the Cronus and Kankri essay, but TL;DR it's kind of implied that Kankri is the one who talked Cronus out of the wizard stuff in the first place, which pretty much disqualifies the two's relationship from pale, given how harmful that was. This whole thing is pretty reminiscent of Gamzee coming between Karkat and Eridan when Eridan is trying to comfort Karkat about Sollux dying, because it's implied Gamzee has a palecrush on the guy. That might be subjective, though.

What isn't subjective is the fact that Meenah unironically defends Cronus's wizard beliefs when Aranea starts shitting on them.

ARANEA: Whatever the case, it was pro8a8ly for the 8est, since pretty much everyone who had half a think pan thought [Cronus's wizard beliefs were] all a 8unch of ridiculous nonsense. MEENAH: serket why do you got to hate on other peoples religions MEENAH: dont you kno they just as much a load of crackpotty bunk as all your spiritual bullfuck ARANEA: 8ut I........ ARANEA: Yes, I guess I was out of line.

She doesn't do this for anybody else. Not long after, it turns out she's absolutely joking about defending Kurloz:

MEENAH: wow serket MEENAH: just wow so rude MEENAH: poor clown ARANEA: Don't give me that! I seem to remem8er you having more than a few unkind words for him 8ehind his 8ack. MEENAH: yeah im messin witchu he sux

And even proceeds to shit on HIS spiritual bullfuck:

MEENAH: )(ONK ARANEA: Honk honk! ::::) MEENAH: lol im glad we can both agree that clowny fuckin soda cult is the dumbest shit ever

So... weird, huh? Seems like she gives Cronus special treatment for some reason.

That's it for the diegetic stuff to go over, which, yes, means that there's a bit of non-diegetic stuff to discuss. It's not much, but here's Hussie's commentary from the Act 5 Act 2 book, on Mindfang's journal entries about Dualscar leading up to the 3x showdown (emphasis mine):

In the end, even though violets are the ruling class, she doesn't care much about them either. All she cares about is keeping her stranglehold on power with this complex, staggered, oppression-based sort of pyramid scheme. Note how it says the Condesce doesn't even know who Dualscar is. That's how insignificant he is, ultimately. Similarly, all Eridan was to Feferi after a while was a tiresome pest. The way that situation played out could also be seen as long-delayed karmic backlash for Dualscar's irrelevance to her, at least from a very Amporan point of view.

Now, while the specific context here is about how, from the point of view of a shitty entitled guy, Eridan killing Feferi is kind of a retribution for the Condy not giving a shit about Dualscar, all of Hussie's commentary is meant to be interrogated just as much as the base text, and it just makes me wonder. The dancestors very much treat their Alternian counterparts as alternate versions of themselves, consistent throughout their interactions, meaning we ought to consider Duascar and the Condesce to be versions of Cronus and Meenah.

If it is, in fact, the case that Cronus and Meenah would've made for excellent, harm-reducing moirails for each other, then murderstuck being a karmic backlash for their ultimate irrelevance to each other takes on a much greater implication - one that traces back to Cronus's classpect.

Bards start off massive karmic chain reactions, resulting in improbable victory or abject defeat, sometimes both; Hope is an aspect whose main application is making fake things real.

So I'm not saying that Cronus believing that an evil wizard attacked him when he was younger but was inadvertently sealed away and that Cronus was therefore karmically destined to defeat this wizard, but then having his beliefs shattered halfway through, led to him karmically contributing to the eventual creation of LE via his Hope abilities "inviting destruction" by making only the first half of his fake prophecy true, but - oh, no, wait, I am saying that. Man, that really sucks for everybody. If only Cronus had a friend who was, for whatever reason, willing to stick up for his dumbass wizard faith.

If only.

[ventismacchiato]

42 behind the lens — curtain call !

epilogue

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.

His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.

For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.

There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.

You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.

“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.

Your heart skips a beat, even years later.

“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.

“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.

It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.

It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.

His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.

But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.

And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.

“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”

“Archons, you’re worse than me.”

“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”

“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”

“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”

“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”

“Go!”

.

.

.

୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev

author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]

[userslayer]

Hi! Can you recommend me your favourite spuffy fics? Any genre is welcome I desperately need the void after finishing bingewatching Buffy 😭. Thank u xx

hi! thank you so much for giving me an excuse to share my favorite spuffy works! if you read any of these, please come back and lets talk about it! okay here's the list:

these are all completed on ao3, most of them contain smut, most are oneshots, no deaths/cheating/nothing too dark, some toxic typical s6 stuff but they all have happy endings or hopeful open endings cause i cant stand them being sad!

do you wanna break bread with me?

this is fun, dawn comes out as bi to spike which spirals into everyone realizing they are queer, its pretty touching and domestic.

High Stakes

sexy fun poker smut, no plot, just vibes

Service the Girl

s6 smut but with complicated feelings

(Unintended) You Could Be

there's something about spuffy and roadtrips that hits so right plus parenting dawn, s5 set

i could've been your girl (we've all been here before)

post s7 buffy running into drusilla, starting a relationship and then spike joins them (i might be the only person ever into this pairing)

What Remains

again spuffy roadtrip, sad one cause s5 but they lost the battle and everything, but still have each other

honey and milk are under thy tongue

smut but with complicated s6 feelings plus spike reading poetry

nothing safe is worth the drive (follow you home)

i highly recommend EVERYTHING by this author, my favorite spuffy writer ever. this one is a s5 roadtrip escaping glory and its domestic, funny, sad, sexy and hopeful, felt like watching an episode (i seriously love this one but plz check them all out)

i will follow you into the dark

this one is by the same author but it deserves its own mention. its heartbreaking but healing at the same time, just the most beautiful spuffy work ever

Let's Get Lost

OH THIS ONE, s2 buffy runs away but runs into spike who has a little problem. its so so in character, captured so well both characters and their dynamic where they are all each other have and absolutely hate that

The Choice

s6 dynamic, spike starts seeing a buffy that loves him, its a choice whether he'd rather have that or the real buffy, its pretty sad but u know, they always find each other

Centering

spuffy roadtrip! s5 set, he comforts her through mourning and feeling helpless

What it is to Burn

post everything, long distance relationship that buffy can't stand anymore

What She Deserves

another roadtrip fic, i know so surprising. buffy heals by herself, runs into a spike that felt like she did in 6, she's the one helping him now with an actual healthier dynamic where they both heal

[anoncelebz]

Matt Sturniolo NSFW !Alphabet

WARNINGS : !!explicit content below; do not read if it makes you uncomfortable!!

AUTHORS NOTE : I didn’t exactly follow the template for this, I made some of it up from my imagination.

—This is my first time publishing any type of writing; please comment & let me know what you think… be honest!—

A = aftercare

King of aftercare. Literally would do anything to make you feel comfortable & taken care of. Would fill up your water bottle, get you a towel, maybe even run you a hot bath to relax in if it was really rough, ofc followed with lots of cuddles

B = body part (His favourite of yours)

He looooooves your tits. It isn’t rare to catch him staring at them mid conversation & need to redirect his attention.

“My eyes are up here”

“Heyyyy how can u blame me when your wearing a shirt like that”

C = cum (anything to do with cum)

Lowkey he loves cumming inside of you. It makes him feel closer to you & he kind of loves the risk of it. He also loves covering your face in it.

D = Degrading (does he like it ?)

Matt isnt the biggest fan of degrading. He finds it disrespectful to talk/treat you like that even if its just in a sexual way. The most he will do is call you a slut, slap you, or spit in your mouth.

E = Experience(how experienced was he before you met)

At the time that you guys met he had 2-3 bodies. He knew how to please you but was not opposed to taking notes on how to get better (and he did).

F = Favourite position(his favorite)

He’s def a missionary guy. He loves looking into your eyes and kissing your face as he fucks you, & ofc grabbing + sucking on your tits is easier when they are right in front of his face.

G = Goofy (how serious/goofy is he in the moment)

He is very focused on pleasuring you so he is serious most of the time but, once you guys were together for a while and had gotten a lot more comfortable with eachother you were able to laugh more and have a little more fun.

H = Hair (how groomed is he)

Trimmed not shaven. Not too much but not too little.

I = Intimacy (how intimate is he)

He loves making love & being intimate with you. It’s his way of showing you how much he loves you. He loves showering you with praise & kisses

J = Jack off (how often does he do it)

He only ever does it when he’s not with you; like when he’s home in Boston, on tour, or travelling without you. But anytime you are together he will make sure to find time to fuck you instead of jacking off.

K = Kinks (which ones does he have)

He doesn’t have any crazy kinks. He likes putting you in handcuffs sometimes so he has more control over you, he will slap your ass & face and he sometimes likes to spit in your mouth.

L = Location (where does he like to do it)

Call him boring but, he def loves doing it in bed. Sure doing it in public is fun but theres nothing better than being able to be loud & comfortable at home.

M = Motivation (what turns him on)

In his eyes you’re the sexiest person he’s ever seen so most things you do can turn him on; specifically when you kiss his neck + nibble on his ear, or when you sneak your hand up his shirt and rub his stomach/ v-line.

N = No (something he wont do)

He would not do anything seriously degrading to you; anything that would cause more pain than pleasure.

Oral (giving & receiving)

Matt. The. Munch. This man will eat you all day until you cant take it anymore. He loves to be down there until you’re squirming & pulling his hair. He obviously loves when you go down on him. He loves to look you in the eye, hold & caress your face and tell you how good you’re doing.

P = Pace (how fast/slow does he go)

It definitely depends on the mood. If he is wanting to make love & show how much he loves you he will go very slow & gentle. If you guys are just fucking for pleasure + fun he def speeds up his pace and will be very fast & rough.

Q = Quickie (his opinion on quickies)

I mean let’s be honest if a quickie is all you guys can do he’s def down for one but its not something he always loves to do. He likes to take his time pleasuring you without a time limit.

R = Risky (how risky does he like to be)

He likes to stay in his comfort zone but if you really wanted to try something new/something risky he would at least try it once for you to see how he likes it + to make you happy.

S = Stamina (how long does he last/how many rounds)

After a bit of practice he was able to build up his stamina and can last 2-3 rounds (on a good day)

T = Toys (does he like them)

The only toys he would use during sex if he used any it would be a vibrator on you, but for the most part he likes to be the one that makes you feel good.

V = Volume (how loud is he)

He isn’t that loud but definitely isn’t awkwardly quiet. He softly moans/grunts when you feel good, or will do some dirty talk to get you going even more.

W = Wild card (random head cannon)

I feel like he is such a big tease. Especially if he knows you wont have the chance to do it all day. He would whisper dirty things in your ear, compliment you, send you dirty texts, and put his hand as far up your thigh as he can.

X = X ray (whats going on under those clothes)

I honestly feel like he’s around average. Maybe like 6-7 inches.

Y = Yearning (how often does he want to have sex)

For the most part he likes to have sex 4ish times a week, sometimes more sometimes less. If you guys haven’t seen each other in a while then he def likes to have it a little more than average. Its also hard to do it sometimes because you guys are always around his brothers.

Z = Zzz (how quick after does he sleep)

Sex definitely makes him sleepy so he’s usually passed out within 20-30 minutes of finishing. He always makes sure to provide aftercare for you and make sure you’re ready for sleep as well.

[serendipity-by-chance]

New Gen 11

so like ive been having thoughts about ng11 given the recent chapters and all and wondering. whats the point of them lol. this is like me questioning the author again lol.

like we were first introduced to them very early on with sae's intro. ever since then the 11 players of ng11 have been mysterious. even more so with how much the manga heaped praises on sae making him compete against all bllk players and still coming out on top. also being the only one (prior to charles) who could actually play with shidou. and given that sae is genuinely the best midfielder we've seen so far, it was obvious that we would be excited for the ng11. However, ng11 is still confusing. according to bllk wiki (bear with me i havent read the manga in a while and im too busy with finals to reread and find the panels but trust once exams are over i will!) ng11 are players who are categorised as the "next gen" of football superstars. which would give u the idea that theyre the best of the best in the current gen. but here's the thing. they're not. look at loki. he's the same age as sae (i think i forgot sae's age but loki is 17/18) but loki isn't part of ng11. which u can say maybe he isnt anymore cause he's pro but remember when we see Michael for the first time isagi knows he is part of ng11 (chapter 157) which means isagi knows who the ng11 are right? Also when we see lorenzo for the first time (210) once again isagi knows who he is. Which definitely means that isagi knows who ng11 are. but thats not the case for loki which can lead us to think loki was never part of ng11. but loki is definitely a better striker than kaiser so why isnt he part of ng11? my problem with ng11 is how it seems so inconsistent? what makes one part of ng11?

again bllk wiki says that ng11 players are those of the next gen who have skills that cant be copied by others in a sense? like we see when michael makes his first kaiser impact even noa admits that michael is better at his speed of shot than noa and thats not sth he can easily copy. not to mention sae with his flawless pass. so is that all that makes one ng11? a skill that others cant copy? so ig ng11 is just the bllk version of knb's miracle generation (this came to me when i was rambling to my sister). the whole concept and history of ng11 being still ??? is so weird to me especially given that we have 3/11 of them in the manga now with sae and michael playing such pivotal roles to the two biggest characters (isagi and rin).

anyways, this thought came up to me cause i was seeing people on twt being like "so rin is better than ng11!!!" cause kaisagi decided to team up to beat him which made me think "huh, is he?" which then made me start questioning what exactly makes one ng11.

but whether rin is better than ng11 or not is still up for debate. especially cause there's 8 other players we havent seen. also... they all play different position lmao. rin is definitely the best in bllk. with rin vs kaiser debate... hmmm. even im a bit like... confused. id say in terms of their personal skills they might be more evenly matched? the kaisagi team up is necessary bc while rin has pxg on his side the entire bm team is divided betn kaisagi with both of them in a tug of war to turn the team in their direction. the match of bm is never bm vs other team lol. its always isagi vs kaiser vs other team. kaiser doesnt fight with just rin he fights with rin AND isagi and the same goes for isagi. which is why the next chapters will be so interesting.

anways these are all my thoughts on ng11! maybe i'll do a better one when exams end and i reread the whole manga and take proper screenshots and notes.

[syxilla]

TAHNK YOUU 🗣🗣🙏

u can search his name up (yoosung kim from mystic messenger) n itll show his looks

i was hoping if u could make y/n drag him away from the game that he always plays (LOLOL) so he could lay on her lap and play with his hair

i'm pasting how he is off google bc for the life of me i can't write

"Tries the best to be caring and supportive to others, he hides his sadness and stress, by playing video games and texting, although he still likes the hobbies..... It's a habit and may stay up all night because of it.The naive boy loves to put smiles on others faces because it makes him feel accomplished and that he's doing something good with his life."

he's like this total sweetheart but he won't get off that damn game ‼️

i hope this is enough im so bad w my words 😭 sorry !

authors note: sorry about not responding for like a month, i stopped writing for a bit cause its not really a main hobby of mine, BUT DW IM GONNA CONTINUE. anyways i dont play this game, so it might not be completely accurate but i hope i works! also a little short cause i didnt really know how this could work out-

cw: g/n reader, yoosung x reader, fluff, not proof read, might be ooc

(ps: if u simp for him u have bad taste, he looks like a beanstalk and his hair looks like french fries)

-yoosung was hooked to his game. he might as well marry his console! he never gave anyone else attention except for the cursed thing anyways. the thought of you hiding all his games in the closet has crossed your mind to many times to count. and one day, you had enough.

"yoosung kim." you said sternly, standing infront of his monitor. "y/n! i cant see!" he whined, trying to move his head to each side to see where hed have more luck in staring. "no. you are going to stop playing that game and cuddle with me!" you said, stepping closer to him. "after this round, i pinky promise!" he said, his eyes not exiting the monitor even once.

"thats it." you say, grabbing his controller and turning off the monitor (you saved his progress of course). "y/nnn!!!! how could you no! i said ill do it later!" yoosung complained, getting up to try and steal the controller back. "no!" you say beggining to run with it in hand. and he chases after you.

-after a good 40 minutes of running and convincing, yoosung finally settled down, laying his head on your chest and wrapping his arms around you, still grumbling nonsense about his game.

"i want my consoles back..." he mumbled into your chest, kicking his feet back and forth while your hands were tangled in his hair, combing through it gently. "youll get it back once i get my me time." you smiled, kissing his forehead softly.

-despite his initial reluctance, he found himself falling asleep on you, slightly drooling on your shirt. not that you minded, atleast he wasnt bothering you about the game anymore, right?

that is until he woke up at 2 am energized and played the game until morning.

[not-souleaterpost]

Trigun - Inspired by the movie "Wise blood"?

(maybe the book too but havent read it)

Anyways, first I thought it would just be funny to point out some surface visual references of charachters which prolly are too generic to be proof of anything.

I mean ehh thats generic enough-

Well that too-

Well the hat and crazy eyes are there

Well the last more recalls Vash's own injurys

(think there is a scene in his Eriks disguise that match more)

But ok, one could say that this is as arbitrary as any other of my posts that dont deserve to be posted - Until I saw the full movie and got that there may be a deeper and more interessting connection

So trigun is know to have atleast Christian-adjasent themes and the author, even if never or not anymore Christian, seems to have a familiarity and interest with it that goes beyond the usuall japanese "wow cool crossess" and pop kabalah stuff (like NGE and shit or persona having all those occcult demon shit)

So what does it have to do with the movie? Well it is one exploring a theme that seems to be simmilar, even if Wise Blood presents it in a more macabre, black-humor, less sentimental and uplifting way

A world without God - or better said Christ/Love/Forgivness

Triguns whole point about Vash not killing anybody IS in the end an expression of the want of the world to be able to heal, to get better, to people to connect in a true way, of going beyond tricks and self serving rational scientfic interests

Thats why Knifes is kinda a representation of cold, uncarring survival of the fittest, of evolution, of the rule of superior beings by force and cold calculation and deception.

To make a parralel to the movie, it shows a man who cant see Christ, the power of redemption of something beyond himself and his own interests and striving - even if he feels justified by partly believing the things he rejects.

But in the end without them, it becomes a self fullfiling prophecy - his "Church without Christ" - without healing of the blind and resurection, without redemption - it condems him to that, making him blind and dead, and his atempts at repenting for killing some guy for a petty reason futile - not even being able to recupareta the love he gets from a landlady.

The theme of a fake preacher is then what is reflected in Wolfwood in Trigun, who is also just a killer, trained by another one, who can in the end find redemption in death and doing the right thing, even if it has a tragedy to it.

And in a way that illuminates Vash's whole journey more, why he couldnt give up and why it was important for him to find love and not become a more suffisticated monkey in a zoo who's hand only his brother would want to shake...

And thats why Vash not killing is actually cool and good and not stupid - cause of a random movie that butchered a book that prolly was tottally different.

But why the self.depreciation? Isnt apreciating the world and creation, "art", not a dialog, a call and response of unlikely meetings?

If not: Yeah...Sorry

[jwirecs]

hi, so i need your help cuz i read this hoseok fic long ago and now i cant seem to find it so the fic goes like this:

the reader and hobi were in school together and they had history of being mean to eachother but they go on one date and kiss infront of the movie theatre and get a glimpse of their past lives and the reader realizes that in all of them that hobi somehow betrayed her and leaves him years later they meet on a plane again and reader is scared that something bad will happen to her if she even as much as talks to him but later they reconcile with eachother after her tells her his side of the story it was something like soulmates but opposite thank you advance and if you cant find it its all cool

hellooo!!

im not gonna lie, i was not able to find a fic that has similar description on google. like i think google does not like me cause they suggested every fic without hoseok. like why google, what do u have against the sunshine.😭

like i either really suck, or google just does not like me helping people, but if anyone happens to know this fic, please do let us know!

EDIT: the fic is called "Head Over Heels to Hell" by @jimlingss (thank you @velvetaroma for lending a helping hand! it was also mentioned that this author currently doesnt write anymore, BUT you can still appreciate their past/current fics on their blog!!!!)

[sweetestpopcorn]

i’m sorry but i have become a harwin and laena hater because of their stans. they’re so annoying, making everyone think their headcanon are canon when it’s not, annoying everyone with it. i just can’t. ‘harwin was better than daemon’ when and where???? ‘daemon only loved laena’ when and where??? ‘laena was never a second choice’ hum but daemon married her because viserys said no to rhaenyra and him which, by definition, does make her a second choice…

the dick riding for harwin and laena is insane i just cant anymore. some of laena stans wish rhaenyra had died instead of laena, i swear. and for harwin? what did he do? what do we know about him? the two of them have not even one page PLEASE. again love who you want but this is starting to annoy me so much how they’re ditching daemyra and rhaenyra/daemon as individual characters for laena/harwin who are not even that important

Hi there and sorry for this delay ☺️

I have to say that because I have not searched the tags and have avoided reading anything since Redacted came out for I would argue obvious reasons, so I have only ever seen the Laena stans. Being here since 2018 I can tell you that Harwin stans were not a thing prior to redacted. No one cared about him, no one gave a f_ck. You actually had a LOT of Criston stans - I wonder why since so many outspoken bfn and "intellectuals" are anti targ 🙄 - some Daemon stans but Harwin was not even an afterthought.

Laena stans, however, those I know and WOW. Just today I saw a post about how people prefer characters they can insert into rather than characters with too many flaws and personality that they can't really insert to and the example for Rhaenyra was Alicent.

I laughed because clearly this is about redacted. Any asoiaf fans know that Laena was always the unsalted bread to Rhaenyra's personality that people loved to self insert into to the point where if you first read the fandom takes and then the book, you would think "B:tch I want my money back! 'Cause none of that is in here!"

For what is worth, however, in my fic "The Year of the Red Spring" I do not romanticise what was going on between Harwin and Rhaenyra, and he's not painted on the best light and I had a total of 0 Harwin stans complain. You know who did come to spew BS and have a temper tantrum however? A so-called "Daemyra fan" who seems to think she's reading "Pride and Prejudice" whose idea of Daemon is Matt but with a hard d:ck and thinks its fine to go around fanfictions to insult the authors - because I know I was not the only one she has done this to. And if she ever reads this, you should to get off the internet and learn how to re-direct your anger.

So in a sense, because the Harwin stans are actually Harlose stans and because I don't care about redacted and its characters I... I don't care 🤷🏽‍♀️ I have yet to encounter real BS about canon Harwin Strong so I can't have strong feelings there. Repeating myself for most of my fandom experience he was ignored and treated like a disposable vibr_tor or less while Laena was made out to be the main character 🤷🏽‍♀️

[nekomasmngr]

i just really needed to get this off my chest cause its been weighing on me for the past few days but if anyone sees this don't mind my rambling and negativity

i hate how ive been avoiding reading new fics on tumblr again just as i was about to get back into it. i can feel myself overthinking and hesitating on reblogging a fic i like or just giving it a like or if i should give my thoughts and reactions like how i felt happy with doing for the past few weeks but now im overthinking everything cause the authors will see and idk judge my overly annoying words and now im just afraid im gonna offend all of them.

i blocked that last author because it was really weighing on me but now i feel like i also lost something in me cause i remembered that they were one of my favourite authors for the past few years but now i dont get to read their works anymore without feeling triggered. (besides i cant see their blog anymore which is a good thing anyway the block feature doing its JOB, X could never!!)

i know its good to support writers and give feedback and such but i already have such a hard time interacting with people in real life, i was trying to build a safe space in this corner of the internet but i can feel myself regressing back into my bad habits and overthinking and getting anxious just because i got triggered by one comment last weekend.

i guess i'll just slowly rebuild that expressiveness again but i dont know if i'll ever get back to commenting like i did before -- this also feels super dramatic but idk its just the feelings ugh

[jobikinn]

I've read a few older sami/solo Fics on Ao3 and was in love with them, but no one ever writes them and if they do, it's unfinished. Like this one....

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46801945/chapters/123202192

I really wish there was more to it.

But my otp is sami/jey and it's dead right now. 😭😭 No one is writing anything! Or have for a while now. And we certainly aren't getting any on screen action either... 😔

I saw a previous post of yours, you write Fics as well? Only if you're comfortable, I'm sure a lot of us would appreciate it if you wanted to share any of it with us! 💕💞

Hope for our sanity we get some content soon. I feel your pain. 😩

BRO THATS LITERALLY MY COMFORT FIC. i cant tell u how many times ive read it. sami/solo and samijey both are my comfort pairings and i ADORE how that author writes solo. that’s how *i* myself write him. it’s so nice. i think i reread that fic almost weekly atp LOL

(there used to be 2 pages of solo/sami fics and then a good 2/3 of it was deleted? i don’t know what happened but it’s EXTREMELY upsetting)

the lack of updates on that fic tho is KILLING ME it physically hurts like- i NEED the fic finished. the last time it was updated was a week before my birthday… LAST YEAR AGTHSYHDSGR

I can understand losing interest in writing something or in writing a certain pairing but- maybe you could at least say hey!!! i don’t want to write this anymore!!! ykwim? UGHRDGEHD it’s so PAINFUL

i’m starving for samijey and solo/sami content, both on screen and within the fandom but literally there’s been a huge halt on fan art, fics etc UGH. it’s sad ‘cause i do a lot of samijey art in my free time (that i probably should post- but i have no clue what people want and don’t want to see ykwim?)

i will try to post a fic of mine at some point:) i’m not all that confident in my writing skills lol- i was going to post a cody/jey fic at one point then decided against it ^^’ maybe if i can make one that isn’t fluffy one shots and instead a story with a genuine plot i’ll post it!!!

(but you can ALWAYS dm me about ships and such, i’m in neeeeedddd of friends with the same interests as i!!! i’ll be happy to write stuff for people or draw things for people, i don’t bite)

[anime-dreams]

Gojo's and Geto's thoughts during the KFC breakup HAHAHHAHAHA

Theme: SatoSugu mwah

Warnings: none, angst??? (i mean it's SatoSugu so what do yall expect besides angst i hope my writing can bring out the angst thou) not proofread!!

Authors note: hi beautiful people, this is my first time trying this out so my sincerest apologies if i did smt wrong that caused any kind of inconvenience for yall. SatoSugu broke my heart and i havent felt the same way since i read that darn In Another Life fanfic (i loved it thou anyone who watches Haikyuu and ships BokuAka should go check it out). Anyways my ultimate goal here is to make yall cry over SatoSugu again cuz i cant seem to get over them :/ hahahaha

Gojo's POV:

I heard what Yaga said. My brain could not process it in time. “Huh?” 

The only thoughts running through my mind was “No. it must be a mistake. No, Suguru would never.” Denial, denial, denial. I was confused. I was mad. Not mad at you, but at those damned old gits that tried to blame this on you. It had to be a misunderstanding… right? My mind told me you’ve changed. But my heart and soul still holds onto that last shred of hope. I tried everything to reach you, and eventually got ahold of your whereabouts through Shoko.

I recognised your figure amidst the busy streets of Shinjuku immediately. “Explain yourself, Suguru.” you paused. Your reply was stark.  “You heard it from Shoko, right? That’s all there is.” You didn’t even bother to turn, didn’t even bother to look into my eyes to say those words. I grind my teeth. “So you’re just gonna kill everyone who’s not a jujutsu sorcerer? Even your parents?” That shred of hope was slowly sliding out of my grasp. “I can’t allow my parents to be a special exception.” You sounded crazy. Your words were insane. I feel like i don’t understand you anymore.

When you told me that there was a point to kill, and that you were aiming to eliminate all non-sorcerers from this world, that hope disappeared completely. Who are you now? I was looking at a familiar face, yet it was clouded in a shroud of unfamiliarity. It was impossible to do so. I yelled at you, to try and get you back to your senses.

I tried, so you won’t leave, although a part of me already knew how this would end. Every cell in my body rejected that inescapable truth. Every nerve in my body rejected that inevitable outcome. You finally turned, and my eyes locked with yours. My heart skipped a beat, and my breathing hitched. Those dark eyes were like nocturnal oceans, with secrets shimmering in the depths. Those dark eyes that once had the light of life, those dark eyes that turned steely when they met mine.  “Are you the strongest because you’re Satoru Gojo, or does being the strongest make you Satoru Gojo?” What sort of a dumb question is that? You’re not making any sense. “What are you trying to say?” “If I had your powers, don’t you think that chances would be higher that my foolish ideal would become a reality?” just for a split second, sorrow flashed in your eyes, and it was gone so fast I couldn’t be sure it was even there in the first place.

Your eyes hardened into solid obsidian. “Satoru, I have decided how to live my life, and what's left is doing the best I can to achieve it. Goodbye, Satoru” I was stumped again. No. No. No, no, no, no. We didn’t come this far just to come this far. The words that cursed you crawled up my throat, but I couldn't find my voice. You turned your back firmly on me, and reality came crashing down. You were leaving. There will never be ‘us’ again. I will never be the same again. Was I nothing to you? Was I someone you just used, and throw away? How are you able to turn your back so easily on me?

I don't even know which pain is worse. The shock of what had happened, or the ache of what never will. I stood there, wanting to run after you, shout at you, beg you to stay, but I know, even if I do catch up to you, you will still fade into the crowd. Even if, by some miracle, you do stay, we will never be the same again. I swallowed, my hands trembling as I raised them up. I had to do it. I'm not born strongest for nothing. I'm strong enough to do this. You are a criminal after all. I should do it, I must do it. Your silhouette blurred each step you took, walking away from me, just like my future, how i cannot visualize without you in it, foggy and unclear. My hands paused, then fell back limply to my sides. I am…  not strong enough after all. Because it's you. Suguru, truth is, I think I already felt you leaving even before you left, but don’t you think I at least deserved a better ‘goodbye’ than this? Now I have to remember you for longer than I've kept you. No more riding on your shikigamis to school. No more going on missions together. No more joking around and annoying everyone else. No more…you, just the memories. Yeah, I think I can live with that. I should be able to. I'm the strongest, after all.

Geto's POV:

"Explain yourself, Suguru.” I recognised your voice immediately, and stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t turn, I couldn't face you without betraying my emotions. I knew you would confront me sooner or later. And I wasn't ready for that yet. “You heard it from Shoko, right? That's all there is.”

I could see your facial expressions in my mind’s eye. Your eyebrows knitted in frustration and anger, your teeth grinding together. The urge to turn and see you with my own eyes grew. “So you’re just gonna kill everyone who’s not a Jujutsu sorcerer? Even your parents?” “I cant allow my parents to be a special exception.” I know I must sound insane to you now, Satoru. But I promise you will understand. Once I achieved that ideal future for us. 

When you yelled at me that it was impossible for me to wipe out every single one of those non-sorcerers from this world, I heard it in your voice. The pain, the betrayal, the hurt, the anger, all directed at me. I braced myself, and turned, and I saw your face, twisted with rage and anguish. My gaze locked with yours. Your eyes that once held the most beautiful blue of the deep sea, had now became icy crystals, sharp and cold, but still breathtaking and pristine.

My front almost melted right there and then and I almost ran right back to you. But I held my ground. Because I knew that I had to be the one to do it. Because you won’t. I knew that the odds were against me, I knew that the chances of me succeeding were far and few between, but I had to try. For a better future for you, for us. And i blurted out my thoughts. “Are you the strongest because you’re Satoru Gojo, or does being the strongest make you Satoru Gojo?” Those beautiful blue eyes darkened with confusion. “What are you trying to say?” “If I had your powers, don’t you think that chances would be higher that my foolish ideal would become a reality?”

Exorcise, absorb, over and over. Who am I doing this for? Who are we doing this for? After seeing Nanami’s breakdown over Haibara’s death, I just cant let it go on anymore, Satoru. If the only thing waiting for us sorcerers at the end of the climb is a mountain of our friends’ corpses, then…  “Satoru, I have decided how to live my life, and what's left is doing the best i can to achieve it. Goodbye, Satoru” I didn't know what else to say, except that it tore the heart out of my body saying goodbye to you.

Before i could allow myself to see the pain already beginning to seep into your face, and let my cowardice take over me, I memorized your features and turned my back on you. It was the hardest thing I've ever forced myself to do. It was excruciating, like carrying a heavy boulder up a steep, endless mountain, each step I took that increased the distance between us was an agonizing struggle. Satoru, you have no idea how many times I wanted to let go of that boulder, and make my way back to you. That would’ve been too easy, a much too comfortable feeling. But for the sake of our futures, I could not.

I'm sorry, Satoru. Part of me hoped that I would hear your familiar footsteps running after me, part of me hoped that you will tell me to stay. But I'm glad you didn't, because I'm sure, if you had done that, I will not have the strength to resist anymore. Because it’s you. 

I could feel it in my bones, your arms reaching, and I braced myself for the incoming reversal red. It never happened.

Actually, Satoru, I think I knew. I knew from the moment I met you that I'll spend an entire lifetime missing you. I know you deserved a better goodbye, I'm so sorry. But I promise our paths will cross again, maybe a few years later, and I promise then, I'll bring a better world to you. Satoru, between the moon and stars, I'm glad that I stepped onto the same land and dreamt, played and lived under the same sky as you.

-I WAS REALLY NERVOUS WHEN POSTING THIS HAHAHA BUT THANKS FOR MAKING IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH!!!! IF YOU ENJOYED THAT PLS LEMME KNOW IDK IF ILL MAKE A PT 2 BUT IF I DO, ILL PUT SHOKO INSIDE AND IF YALL HAVE SUGGESTIONS ILL BE MORE THAN HONOURED TO HEAR!! 💕💕-

****pls dont be a copycat and photocopy my work without permission or else im coming after u after i go after Gege

******pls only repost with permission

*****some quotes used in this are also not mine credits to google and tiktok haha

[cadychaos]

ok so tinaaos updated and i’m not even in the fandom of dsmp anymore but i was like “maybe i should reread this fic! the plot is good and i’m bored.” AND HOLY. SHIT. I AND FORGOTTEN SO MANY THINGS???? and reading every chapter back to back made me able to put stuff together bettrr even if i had already read them (albeit months apart) BUT ANYWAY I WAKTED TO TALK SOME THERIOYS OUT! that i. have talked to myself inside my head about mutiple times… ANYWAY :D

spoilers for tinaaos all the way up to chapter 43 or whatever agead (i say as i know DAMN WELL!!! i cant rember chapter 42 cause i ahvent reread it yet- anyway)

FIRST OF ALL ! what’s been on my mind the most! tommy’s powers which i’m ? sure have been discussed to NO END BUT ! whatever

his powers are such a mystery ??? like he can do almsot anyhting do to energy manipulation leading to basically controlling everything ? but like how techno had stated his powers are closely tied to his emotions. and how tommy has stated them feeling like more of a buzz and an extension of himself or something along those lines— (that’s two hyphens btw) point is his power is diffrent than what other people (literally just. niki.) explain how their powers feel.

one top of that he has stated before after techno said “imagine having your powers behind a dam for 16 years” (not a qoute literally my memroy most likley wrong) tommy mumbles “more like 10”, now that might be just be late power devolpment that most likely happens since kids get tested 2 throughout their life. but there might be something more? i feel like somewhere there is why tommy killed his parents— though probaly on accident. his powers have been stated to like ? protect him . my theroy is he was getting strangled or soemthing, his powers act up and boom dead parents. though i don’t think that was the first time his powers had been seen since in the more acts of spite a story of him and eryn he seems to have already had them? anywya just seems like something important to note! aso noting he is scared of blood tests maybe that has to deal with all this.

next thing still on his powers (stay with me here i have been binge reading this since the latest chapter and have been brainrotting what his powers are). when techno and niki have their talk about the power suppressers, techno talks about his powers awfully simialr to how tommy explains his! which is intresting (aka a constant buzz). now when i first read this i thought maybe he was just? talking to niki secretly about tommys powers? like if that makes since. but i feel like this may not 100% be the case .

now i have one last thing to mention before moving on to other things— i’m like pretty sure tommys powers start getting upgraded AFTER the warehouse, what could he have been exposed to there? blue. what can blue do? idk man power stuff but if you get blued by 2 diffrent things you get hybrid charcteristics, which tommy does lack! but maybe proably the first stuff that tommy SMASHED! could have effected his powers? AND ON THAT TOPIC ! i think his childhood has something a lot more to do with blue— he states he wasn’t experimented on with it but i feel like blue might be soemthing related to his powers? i feel like it definitely upgraded them at the warehouse and after the power suppression cuffs cut them off , whcih btw why i think his powers have soemthting to do with blue ! maybe soemthing about cancletion or could simply be ? just too much in his system? AGTER TWO WERKS??? anyways i don’t think he will lose his powers for good cuase his powers could be expanded on so much more and i feel like the author wouldn’t just get rid of them? though is so power to them let them girlboss

OK FIANLLY ONTO SOMETHING ELSE :D another topic of intrest for me! buisness bay mainly deo and tommy cause HOLY SHIT. from the little (very. little) interactions we have seen about them I LOVE THEIR DYNAMICS ?! though . mayeb i won’t. i don’t know i’m just so intrested in their charcters . i’m guessing we WILL see deo at some point (maybe we already have) or not literslly the authors desicion. but i feel like we probaly will! but i’m excited to see what tommy’s reaction would be if we finally get to see him— simialr to purpled and punz ? (which i don’t . think is going spectacular cause punz is a bitch boy <3) or like tommy does as he does ? i feel like we might have gotten a hint about him? now this is me GRASPING at straws but when tommy talks about him (not outloud) bunch’s on his seventeenth birthday (before the big boom) it mentions the bushs or something shaking??? it’s soemthing i took notice of first and second time reading through? it just seems odd and i feel like it may be related to deo ? Or maybe a wild goose chase!!!!!

now there is so so so so much more i can talk about (like golden boys, they are everything especially more on purpled cause bestie why do you have marks on your neck TAHT TEO PEOPLE HAVE NOTICED ?!??!(( also just noticing i never even mentioned aimsy BUT STUF!!! I WANT TO READ MORE!!!)) but i forgot everything i kept in my head :D i also. have close to nobody to talk about this to so it’s not written down.. and i can’t really expand on my ideas… this is just my brian running crazy. and i thought my brain would have to go crazy till i rmebered tumblr exists and i could write much words on here. but i think i wrote to much words D: anyway will probaly tlak more about this or maybe not just hope you all enjoy my rambles