#cause i read about what happens and i honest to god have 0 thoughts on it. like that’s just information to me

[cinnamnt]

reading a tiger and bunny reddit thread on the end of s2 cause i was curious and wanted to spoil myself but that’s not important what Is important is how badly this sentence made me laugh out loud

brother did we watch the same show tiger and bunny have gay sex every night and day

[yevmarie]

Light My Fire | Chapter 6

Masterlist

< Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 >

Plot: having lost everything you are drowned in depression, which had happened to you a year ago. Now you need to struggle with the apocalypse as well with no sparkle in your heart. But there is one man who can light your fire to live.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female Reader

Word count: 2.4k

Pronouns: you, she/her

Warnings (the chapter is a whole red flag, I'm sorry): angst, just a bit of angry and fluffy Daryl, swearing, smoking (by reader), physical abuse towards the reader (but the abuser is punished), the reader finally goes nuts (and there's no wonder here), differences from the main plot may occur, bad English (not my first language).

A/N: I'm a bit struggling with writing currently, so I literally pushed myself to finish the chapter even with the ready dialogue from the episode. I hope I didn't mess it up so much. And I want to apologize ahead if I didn't add you to the taglist. I'm not good at being attentive to details, so please don't take it personally and don't hesitate to let me know if I accidentally skipped you <3.

Taglist: @your-shifting-gurl @bae-live-0 @richardsamboramylove55 @deansapplepie @snailss @denisecabrera @dreamtofus

You opened your eyes and stared at the ceiling of Daryl’s tent. Another tough morning, but with less nausea and headaches, thank God. It seems like your physical and mental states are gradually returning to normal. But you still feel worn out and lost because of the emotional rollercoasters and the events causing them.

You were thinking about whether Merle is still alive or not, hoping for the best, of course. You were scared to see Daryl finding out his brother had been cuffed on the roof of the building full of walkers. And it seemed like only you were bothered by this situation. Everyone else seemed not to care at all. It was obvious the Dixons were not members of a blue-blood family, but it wasn’t a reason for the group to take justice into their own hands. It hurt you that Rick didn't understand your concerns. Sure, he didn’t. You couldn't tell him that the rednecks were the only ones who somehow cared about you because his wife and best friend were too busy with each other. Yes, it wasn’t like the brothers did everything for you, but it was way more than Shane did. Let’s be honest; he did nothing except ignore you.

You finally decided to get up, making your way to get breakfast near the campfire. Sitting alone, you caught different looks from the people in the group. You were ready for it and tried not to pay much attention. After the meal, you went back to Daryl’s tent to brew coffee and read a book. Thanks to Carol, who understood your state and let you have your deserved rest. You went a bit further from the tent to find some wood. You slowly walked, collecting sticks, trying to occupy your mind with your favorite songs you hummed when suddenly you heard Shane’s voice.

“Hey, baby girl. Why are you walking here alone?” you turned around and saw him getting closer to you.

“How long have you been following me?” you asked, keeping a poker face but at the same time feeling some unexplainable sense of danger crawling under your skin, making you shiver.

“I haven’t. Just was walking around,” the man chuckled and stood up too close to you. You knew every inch of this person, all his moves, gestures, tones of voice, look. But this was a different person. He wasn’t the Shane you used to know and love. Something had changed in him.

“Shane, what do you want?” you were trying to register every move of him that could signalize danger so you could fight or flee. Surely not freeze.

“Nothing. Just to talk,” Shane’s smile was slowly fading away.

“Don’t you think you should do this with Rick first?” suddenly you thought you would need to run away soon. You didn’t know why this thought came to you, and the absence of reasoning made your heart race.

“I do think I should do it with you only,” Shane’s voice sounded lower. You gulped but tried to do your best to stay cold.

“Ah, gotcha. No one is going to admit you both messed up and tell Rick how ‘faithful’ you are. Of course, he’ll beat the shit out of you. But why do this when there’s me who can be threatened and manipulated any way you like, huh?” you still tried to hide any emotions, though you were trembling like a leaf when Shane took a step towards you. “Shane, don’t move. You are scaring me,” you laid your arm where your gun usually is, but you felt only the fabric of your clothes.

“You left the camp without your gun, Y/N,” this dickhead had been following you for a while and noticed you were unarmed.

Shit!

In another moment, you felt his arm squeezing your neck, slamming you into the nearest tree and hurting the back of your head. You instinctively tried to inhale but struggled to do so, ending up coughing.

"If Rick somehow finds out about Lori and me…” you barely heard him whispering in your ear but interrupted.

“Then what? You’ll kill me?” you huffed, trying to free yourself from Shane’s firm grip. “If she’s pregnant, then I’ll be such a waste of a weapon. What will you do then, huh?” Here, you realized you had found this weak spot by how his breath started shaking, and he couldn’t find any words to answer. “Oh, darling, you’re so fucked up,” you felt the squeeze become tighter. You looked into Shane’s eyes with your almost blurred sight.

“Nothing to say?” you felt Shane’s hard breath and tremble going through his hand still holding your neck. “Then finish what you’ve started because I won’t keep silent. I will make you pay for everything you've done to me, you piece of shit,” the slap of his hand stung your cheek and made you wince and close your eyes.

You heard some noise, similar to how arrows hit, followed by punches and curses. You exhaled with all your lungs, coughing as you were freed from Shane’s grip. You fell on the ground and blinked away the haze covering your sight, seeing Daryl sitting above Shane, who was laying on the ground, and punching him. The archer stopped for a second to have a look at you and felt relief you were alive. Pale, coughing, eyes washing with tears, but alive.

You heard Shane’s laugh. “Y/N, I see you didn’t waste any time as well.”

“Shut up,” you mumbled, closing your eyes and leaning on the tree.

After another punch to Shane’s face, Daryl gripped the man’s shirt collar.

“Listen carefully, ‘cause I won’t repeat this. If I ever see ya touching her, talking to her, or even looking at her. Any movement towards her I don’t like, ya’re dead. Ya’re fucking dead and will be feeding the walkers around,” Daryl stood up and walked towards you, taking out the arrow that had hit the tree next to you.

Shane stood up as well, wiping the blood from his nose and dusting himself off from the soil. 

“You’re just in time, Daryl…” Shane started but was shut up by Daryl turning to him.

“Skull itching?” the archer clenched his fist, threatening to break the arrow he was holding.

“Talk to you later,” Shane mumbled and slowly headed back to camp.

“Are you okay?” Daryl sat down close to you, caressing your cheek to wipe away your tears. You could only shake your head in response. “What the hell was all that?”

“Rick…” you gulped to soothe your hoarse voice. “Rick, that friend I was talking about. He is back. His wife and Shane…”

“Gotcha. I gotcha,” Daryl bit his lower lip. “Where’s your weapon?”

“I left it in the tent…”

Daryl stood up and wiped the sweat beads covering his face.

“Why the hell is it in the tent?” Daryl yelled, looking at you crying. “I told ya your recklessness will kill ya one day. Lucky ya I was just coming back,” the archer was freaking out. His voice grew louder, his breath heavy and shaky. He bit his lower lip, obviously trying not to lose his composure completely.

“Daryl, I… I owe you till the end of my days,” you sniffled.

“I'll let it off if ya keep your damn weapon with ya and leave the camp at least with someone ya trust,” Daryl was still speaking in a raised voice, though he wasn’t angry at you. He was angry at the whole situation. He couldn’t cheer you up because he needed it as well. He understood your shock when a person you once considered beloved, shared plans and dreams with, and even bedded, nearly killed you. But witnessing that scene was too much for him. He just thanked whatever higher power there was that he arrived in time.

“Ya promise me?” you lifted your head to meet his eyes full of despair and just nodded as tears made your words stick in your throat.

“Good,” he took your hand to help you stand up. Scared to face his eyes again, you hugged his waist, leaning your head on his chest, hearing his heart threatening to jump out of his ribcage.

“Thank you,” you said trembling, clutching his shirt for dear life. You felt him tense, but he finally hugged you tightly and brushed your hair with his calloused fingers.

“Let’s go,” Daryl said with his gruff voice, loosening the hug. You nodded, letting him go, and waited for him to grab his crossbow from his hunting run.

“Nice garland,” you joked, pointing at the bundle of killed squirrels. Daryl rolled his eyes.

“Then ya won’t eat it but enjoy seeing it hanging near the tent.”

“I’d rather see Shane’s body instead,” you mumbled, earning a scrunched face from Daryl. Suddenly, you heard the noise of scrunched leaves, as if there was some animal nearby.

“Go back,” Daryl whispered. “I’ll come later. Seems like we’ll have deer today.”

You nodded and slowly moved towards the camp.

---

Arriving at the camp, you went into the tent to retrieve your gun, fearing your ex could do something stupid again, and headed to the campfire, seeing Daryl returning only with the squirrels. You guessed the attempt to catch the animal had failed.

“Merle!” Daryl called out. “Merle! Get your ugly ass right here! I got us some squirrels! Let’s stew ‘em up.”

“Daryl, just slow down a bit. I need to talk to you,” you saw Shane following the archer.

“Want to get another punch?” the younger Dixon turned around to Shane.

“Calm down. It’s about Merle. There was a… There was a problem out there.”

Daryl looked around to see all the people concerned and you avoiding his eyes, taking out a cigarette to light up. Your reaction hit him hard.

“He dead?”

“We’re not sure,” Shane answered, scratching his nose and hissing at the pain caused by Daryl’s right hook earlier.

“He either is or he ain’t!” Daryl started to freak out, not getting a clear answer from the group.

“No easy way to say this, so I’ll just say it,” you turned around slowly, puffing out smoke to see Rick coming up to the archer.

“Who are ya?”

“Rick Grimes.”

“Rick Grimes? Ya got something ya want ta tell me?”

“Your brother was a danger to us all. So I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He’s still there.”

“Why are you so sure?” you asked Rick and dropped the cigarette to stub it out.

“Y/N! This doesn’t help at all,” Rick glanced at you fiercely.

“I could have helped if you hadn’t stopped me!” you cried, yelling at your friend, who clenched his jaws, feeling guilty for everything that had happened on that damn roof.

“Hold on. Let me process this,” Daryl wiped away the tear threatening to fall, which caused your heart to twist in pain. He was so vulnerable and desperate; it hit you hard. He was always so caring towards you, but you couldn’t help him at all. Rick barely stopped you from driving to Atlanta yesterday.

“Ya’re saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and left him there?” the archer’s yell rang in your ears, feeling all the pain he was expressing.

“Yeah,” Rick looked at the ground to avoid the younger Dixon’s gaze, which was already burning him. Daryl breathed heavily, threw the bundle of squirrels to the sheriff, and was ready to attack him when suddenly he was pushed to the ground by Shane. You ran up to Daryl, but he took out a knife, so you stepped back in fear and froze. The archer stood up grunting and jumped at Rick but was stopped by Shane’s punch and then the further grip around his neck.

“Stop!” you shouted, but no one heard you as if you were not there.

“You’d better let me go!” Daryl huffed, trying to free himself.

“Nah, I think it’s better if I don’t,” Shane squeezed the archer’s neck.

“Chokehold’s illegal!” Daryl screamed, and you lost your temper, taking out the gun and pointing it at Shane.

“You can file a complaint,” Shane grunted but froze when he heard the click of the safety lock.

“Getting a little touchy-feely there today, hun?” you breathed heavily, feeling your sight hazy again and all the sounds becoming dull, turning to ringing. Shane slowly loosened the grip to free up Daryl, who was trying to catch his breath.

“Y/N,” Rick came up to you to calm you down but was stopped by you pointing the gun at him.

“I see this group understands only the language of violence, so I’ll talk this way,” you looked at everyone around. “You either have a calm discussion on this topic, or I’ll start shooting and attract walkers.”

“Calm down!” Shane growled at you but was cut off by you immediately.

“Don’t even talk to me if you want to be safe,” you said through gritted teeth, hinting by looking at Lori and back at him. You started to pray Rick hadn’t noticed it.

“Y/N, give me your gun. Please,” you looked at Rick slowly approaching you. You shook your head and locked the gun, putting it back in your harness. You took out another cigarette and lit it. Such a harmful and useless habit aimed to calm you down, but honestly, it never helped you. You sat on the log nearby and kept looking at the men who finally started a dialogue.

---

When you made sure Rick, Daryl, T-Dog, and Glenn worked out a plan to get back to Atlanta to find Merle and started to prepare for the run, you went to the tent to finally have your coffee and a book. Daryl followed you to take another arrows.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Didn’t know ya were such a hothead.”

“Me neither,” you replied emotionlessly and looked back at the man.

“Merle would like it.”

“And you?” your question made Daryl fluster.

“I still think ya’re reckless. But ya learn fast. I’ll tell ya some tricks when I’m back,” the man mumbled confusedly.

“Take care of yourself,” you gently smiled at him, causing butterflies in the archer’s stomach.

The man nodded and chewed his lower lip. “You too.”

You also nodded and watched the archer walk away.

< Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 >

[plutonicmirror]

Zero Hour (1994) #0 [and Zero Hour in general]

Let’s continue my Zero Hour first reading. After skipping some filler tie-in issues, I reached the finale. Again, funny numbering gimmick with a 0 issue. I think Marvel also had something similar with their -1 issues back then. Oh, the 90s!

Hal Jordan Parallax reveals his master plan: “I’m gonna erase the universe so hard, I’m gonna create a new one where everything is right and everyone is happy™”. Classic case of a hero reacting to tragedy the readers are supposed to know about the Emerald Twilight story arc, but I’m LARPing as a snot-eating 10yo in 1994 who just started reading comics and doesn’t have enough attention span to know the lore with absurd amounts of cope and a plan that sounds extremely good on paper, but that other heroes must oppose because morality yadda yadda yadda. Looking at you, Injusticeverse.

Shout-out to my man Danger, a D-lister that was brought to the final fight fOr a ReAsOn. I’m gonna be honest, I skipped his tie-in because I couldn’t give a fuck about who he was. I usually like me some B/C/D/Z listers, but I also don’t give a fuck about DC’s Titans and his book was apparently tied to that whole mess so I was like “meh, next”. I mean, this young dude is a nobody right....?

*one trip to a comics wiki later*

Oh...

Ahem, moving on. The Spectre shows up looking for REVENGE after all of the JSA folks get ultra aged up or straight up deleted from existence, even though they had previously asked him for help and he was like “nah that’s human bullshit, I ain’t movin’ any finger”. Good job, asshole.

So yeah, remember our D-lister? Turns out his power (which is absorbing energy and making explosions) is specifically needed to counter Parallax’s new Big Bang. So our heroes’ plan is...to recreate the universe exactly as it was. So basically Parallax’s plan but done by them because fuck you Parallax, you don’t get to play God. Except...it doesn’t come out exactly as it was, because there’s “““subtle changes”““. In a meta way, this event was supposed to be a soft reboot to fix some of the fuckery that Crisis on Infinite Earths (a big event I haven’t read yet out of fear) caused. Was it accomplished? According to Comic Pop’s Back Issues video on this event... it kind of wasn’t. Sidenote, I highly recommend that channel’s Back Issues series, after reading an event it’s fun to watch a recap that adds background bits for the uncultured (like me) even if I sometimes feel the critique of the host is too harsh.

A not-Killing-Joke’d Batgirl from another timeline who temporarily sided with Parallax because she was doing her best “I want to be a real boy” Pinocchio impersonation got killed in the heat of the moment, so the other normal-powered hero in the room (Green Arrow) gets pissed at his former bestie. After this whole event he ragequits btw and apparently a common joke is that many readers think that should be the standard reaction to the whole thing.

Parallax is seemingly killed but it’s comics so he’ll be fine, trust the process. If I recall correctly, Hal gets to be the new Spectre for a while [*Vietnam flashbacks of Identity Crisis*]. I forgot to mention that the current Green Lantern of the time Kyle Rayner and Wally West were also “killed off”. Again, they’ll be fine. I just didn’t care enough to read a wiki and find out how they come back. But that bit brings us to this “oh yeah, that happened” moment:

Power Girl was pregnant and gave birth to a baby with the help of Wonder Woman who conveniently decided to play midwife instead of stepping up to the threath. Bue hey, guess who also was sort of born in the aftermath of this event? That’s right, I was! So surely that means that baby is a very important char-

Whoops, nevermind.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE WHOLE EVENT:

“7/10 it was alright” - IGN.

The contrarian in me doesn’t hate it like most nerds out there do, but it’s certainly not the greatest event ever written. Granted I went in without knowledge of a lot of stuff, like how was I supposed to make sense of what was happening in the Hawkman tie-in issue aka the whole “let’s try to solve the problem of having multiple origins for this character by literally merging them all into one” thing? How could I know what CoIE fuckery needed to be fixed if I don’t know the big impact of CoIE besides Supergirl being killed off (this fact is cultural osmosis at this point)? Did it matter to me in the long run? Not really, because it’s not like I feel compelled to keep reading DC continuity and make sense of it for the time being. The art was good, the colors were pretty, the Parallax suit was rad, the pose Ollie made at the end was Jojo-esque and dramatic, Batman fucking off from the final fight via being killed was good.

Now, the tie-ins. Some of them were fun, some of them were a drag to read because I had no idea of background info for most of them. Almost all of the Superman tie-ins were fun to read with the exception of Steel because I was tired of wiki-hunting when I reached his issue, shout out to the alternate Jor-El and Lara, the Alpha Centurion and the “Superman tries to save the Kents during the chronal rift” stories (Superman vol. 2 #93, Adventures of Superman #516, Action Comics #703 respectively). The Legion of Superheroes and adjacent issues were extremely confusing to me as a casual but oddly engaging. I had no idea what was happening but it was sort of fun. It revived my itch to read LoSH comics even if I’m still feeling overwhelmed at the mere thought of going further with that task. Oh yeah, the silent Green Arrow issue was a lot of fun! (Green Arrow vol. 2 #90).

The characters introduced were a mixed bag. On one hand we have Bart Allen aka Impulse, who was created in the prequel to this event and was sort of interesting. But then the chronal rift time erasure bullshit happens and since he’s from the 30th century he basically does nothing of importance... Alpha Centurion, as I mentioned, was a fun read in his Adventures issue but in the core event he was... a convenient minion. Thriumph? Thriump was an annoying character, one of those “oh yeah he was totally there in the beggining of the big team but the big name characters just don’t remember tee hee!”. Don’t worry though, he would later die of a cold. Or something like that. Extant felt edgy throughout most of the core issues and the tie-ins, he really had that Madara Uchiha endgame villain energy...until he was revealed to be just a pawn that was just rebelling. And then he fucks off. Shout-out to this specific goofy panel:

Tie-in issues skipped: Anima #7, Batman: Shadow of the Bat #31, Damage #6, Robin vol. 2 #10, Showcase ‘94 #10, Steel #8, Team Titans #24 (yeah, this team got erased from existence and I just couldn’t care), The Darkstars #24. Also skipped: all of the Zero Month aftermath gimmick #0/soft reboot issues.

New Year’s resolution when it comes to DC? I’ll get around reading the 70s Green Arrow and Green Lantern book. Ever since I found some academic paper on it that mentioned the words environmentalism and malthusian I was like “ok wtf I have to read this”.

Tytyty for reading my blog.

[anendtopursuit]

tags by @marielle-heller: #true #i LOVE ash but when i think about that one i really am like... #ashley what the FUCK! #do you know how many people you inadvertently killed!!!!!! #i do imagine like #he'd never say it but he is aware and he does feel the guilt #but um... #something something i think the book really does compel people if i'm being honest #if we look at the first evil dead (the second one i have no arguments that just presents ash as 'will press play on any tape recorder just #lying around' and really how can i blame him on that?) #you see cheryl is forced to draw the book before they read from it #and the trapdoor opens itself to compel them to go down there and find the book #so i think really you could argue #the book is TRYING to get people to read from it #it has a small amount of baseline power #but it needs someone to read it to do more #so anyway if you read it that way you could argue the book sent up some sort of 'hey ash this is a great idea!' vibes #and that it was going to happen eventually with it in his possession #also the fact that he still HAS IT like!!! i don't think it's implied actually that he would at the end of army of darkness #i think where it is is left a little open-ended? #so the fact it comes back to him like girl it's fucked cursed as hell to just do this! #ash is powerless #if you read this into danny's choices and i'd need to rewatch the movie but i think you can cause i think he tries and fails to stop it? #then like #no reason to blame him <3 #you're just fucked the moment you get too close to the book #and ash especially because the book decided he's special

i apologise for Yet Another Tag Dump but i got so unbelievably excited reading this because YOU ARE SO CORRECT OH MY GOD??? some thoughts and feelings regarding this because i am very autistic and loveee this concept:

great point abt cheryl drawing it, the trapdoor opening, etc! it always struck me as strange that those things happened before the necronomicon's power was unleashed, but if it has some small baseline of power regardless then it makes perfect sense that it's a way of luring them in. it may be a stretch, but you could possibly say the same for the bridge starting to break as they drive towards the cabin, since if they're trapped in close quarters with the necronomicon for an extended period of time then they're more likely to eventually read from it

you remembered correctly! danny tries to stop the recording right when it starts reciting passages from the book (so right when it becomes clear that the recording is actually capable of causing harm) and it doesn't let him. the recording is playing entirely of its own accord at that point.

i also have absolutely 0 memory of ash having the necronomicon at the end of aod, so i think your interpretation that it somehow miraculously Found Him Again is probably correct

oh ash ABSOLUTELY feels terrible for all the people he's accidentally indirectly killed. ash vs evil dead is quite possibly my favourite characterisation of ash because beneath all his bravado and peacocking you get genuine glimpses of his guilt and fear and the real human person that he is beneath all his armour, and it's so genuinely heartbreaking sometimes

i think a scene that potentially helps this theory - as well as sorta adding onto my last point - is the scene of ash near the end of aved crying and yelling about how he never asked for any of this to happen, and how it's not his fault that the book chose him.

maybe worth mentioning that, as previously stated, he was stoned when he read from the necronomicon in aved - if the necronomicon already has some level of influence over him, then it's entirely plausible that it succeeded in convincing him to read from it again Despite Him Knowing What Would Happen because he wasn't entirely sober. especially considering the fact he doesn't remember this happening until later.

maybe not entirely relevant but i'd love to take this opportunity to bring up the theory/fan interpretation that the beginning of evil dead 2 - the entire retcon sequence, right up until ash is thrown into the puddle - is ash's interpretation of the events of the first movie, and not a 1 to 1 representation of what actually happened. aved directly shows and references scenes from the original that never happened in this retcon (cheryl and scotty's whole involvement being the most notable one), so ed1 is definitely explicitly canon, and this retcon segment is just sort of - there. and i think, if this theory is true - if that retelling WAS ash's recollection of events, sort of sensationalised and unreliable in order to spare himself the pain of remembering what actually happened - since we know he gets really upset when he's reminded of what happened to cheryl - then it's quite possible that, in ed2, ash just listens to the recording without being compelled to do so because ash himself feels responsible for the events at the cabin, and is therefore retroactively painting himself as having more of an active role in it (when scotty took the forefront in ed1). though obviously that's just my interpretation, everybody has their own take on ed2's inclusion

every time i see someone hate danny from evil dead rise w a fiery passion just bc he's some dumbass teenager who accidentally summoned demons i wonder if the person posting it has seen the original series - not in a mean gatekeepy way, but in a "however dumb danny is, i promise you ash is ten times dumber" way.

the entire opening conflict of ash vs evil dead is that ash accidentally brought the deadites back Again bc he got stoned and read from the necronomicon ex mortis Again despite knowing exactly what would happen. if you hate danny for accidentally dooming his family, you'll absolutely DESPISE ash for dooming the entire world several times over and then almost deciding not to save it. i love the guy, but he's a fucking moron. a little infuriating dumbassery is part of the evil dead charm, it simply wouldn't be the same without it

[chil2de]

Your sharing a bed with the JJK men hc's were incredible 😩 special mentions for Megumi's bed head, Nanami being a secret cuddle bug, and Yuuta having to drink both iced coffees (that fucking sent me fjdndnfd I could picture it so clearly).

You're super talented so could I, er, possible get a NSFW version? 👀 💳💥💥💥💳💳💥💳💥

Thank you so much 🥺💕

hello anonie!!! thank you dear i’m so glad you liked them!! please the credit card emojis had me cackling LMFAOOOO you really made my whole day out here!!!(THE ICED COFFEE WAS MY FAVOURITE PART TOO)

well i managed to hit the max amount of characters allowed in a tumblr post with five characters alone so i’m going to have to split this up into several posts. it just kinda happened ig

characters in this post: itadori yuuji, gojo satoru, okkotsu yuuta, fushiguro toji (megumi was supposed to be here but i had to reserve him for next post😔)

this work is nsfw. if you’re new here, please read my disclaimer before proceeding. thank you and enjoy!

based off of this post

itadori

- itadori would prob be a ‘deer in the headlights’ if you woke him up in the middle of the night

- but after that? shit, he’s so nice to you. so kind and generous for his baby girl. whether he’s fucking you ‘cause he thinks you might be able to sleep after an orgasm or there’s just an incessant desire for him- doesn’t really matter all that much to itadori. he loves you either way :)

- gets horny so easily LMFAO

- would 100% dick you down if you asked him to and i like to think that he still keeps his really sweet personality during sex cause aaaa he would be so soft and reassuring

- hardcore dom yuuji sounds sexy as all hell but let’s be real… this man won’t kill a fly and apologises for stepping on ants. only exception being angry sex but overall reserving hard dom for sukuna :)

you pepper tiny kisses onto itadori’s face, treating him with the utmost care like handling fine china. his skin feels so soft against your lips, and he smells very faintly of milky soap. there’s some traces of brand cologne on his shirt, as well as his natural scent.

“yuuujiii-“ you coo, blowing air very gently. when he doesn’t stir, you run your fingertips through a bundle of his cotton candy tainted hair. it evokes a reaction from him, so you continue to press him.

“y-uuuu-ji!”

after a few moments, itadori lets out a soft whine before grumbling incoherent blabber. “i won’t eat the pineapple! kugisaki will scream at me!”

you giggle before prodding him again, when finally he relents and jolts awake, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted at how close your face is to his.

“‘s it morning yet?” he wrinkles his nose, stifling a yawn. you emit a hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling you into him. itadori squeaks in surprise when he feels you latch your lips onto his neck, suckling and carefully breaking the bonds underneath his sensitive skin. his moan comes out groggy, still laced with sleep.

“that drives me crazy, you know that, right?” itadori laughs, though his voice comes as a wobble.

“i know. and they look so good on you too, hm?” you giggle, caressing one hand from his neck and then down to the hem of his shirt. your fingertips flutter against his bare skin and he shivers physically and audibly. you smooth your palm flat along his chest, dragging your nails carefully against his muscles.

“kinda.. wanna.. go to.. sleep.. but i don’t.. wanna fall asleep…” itadori mumbles against his pillow. the fabric muffles most of it, but there’s a strain in his voice that leads you to believe he’s moaning lightly. guess after sukuna ripped his heart out, this area hasn’t been quite the same, huh?

“so? then go to sleep, yuuji. i’ll be fine-“ “-no way! i gotta take care of you”

“so why don’t you?”

“‘m going to! i was asleep just half a minute ago!”

“and besides-“

he shifts himself up into a sitting position, leaning his back against the headrest. itadori opens his arms, motioning for you to crawl on top of him. without any haste, you clamber over his built frame, ghosting just over the print of his hard dick.

“not that i mind but- we did, you know, in the morning already-“ “oh, shit, sorry- it’s totally fine if you don’t want t-“ “-just messing with you!”

itadori pulls your neck down and gifts you with the same treatment you were offering him earlier. his tongue is hot and wet against your skin and you can already feel the precipitation forming at the back of your knees. calloused yet tender hands smooth around your waist and he smooths his palms over your shoulder blades.

after itadori’s satisfied with the mark he left, you can’t help but groan a little into his mouth when his lips suddenly claim yours. he drinks you up, relying solely on your taste like he’s drowning and you’re the air he needs.

itadori takes his sweet time cherishing you, or rather it’s still his state of half slumber, but you can feel a dull ache prick your abdomen. you scratch up his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. you’re unsure what comes over you, but shit, you don’t want him- you need him.

“heyheyhey, ‘s okay. don’t worry, i got you.”

“i’ll take care of you.”

“just relax, okay? i got this.” he only coos with sweet reassurances, peppering small kisses and handling you with the utmost precision.

you whimper, balancing your palms flat against his abdomen for additional support as you sink down onto itadori’s cock. he lets out a hum of content, forehead bumping against yours as he allows you to adjust.

“you good?” he murmurs after a few moments, capturing a few strands of your hair in between his fingertips. you nod meekly and itadori hisses out a breathy exhale. he’s sure that if he goes rough as shit you might end up more broken than being able to sleep, so he screws his eyes shut and exhales to maintain his composure.

blazing hot lips scrape against your ear, and his voice comes out in a husky tone.

“tell me how you want it.”

by the lords of everything and all that is holy, itadori only chants the same phrase over and over in his mind. it’s a miracle that he’s able to think straight with all the blood rushing to his cock. he’s more than happy to take it slow, reward you with slow and long strokes while he showers you with high praises. but he can’t ignore the twitch that he experiences when he envisions that pretty lil fucked out face of yours, all messy and ruined for him.

you mutter that you have no preference, that you don’t care because anything he’ll do for you is perfect, and it only gives him a beaming smile at your words.

itadori grabs the scrunched up ball of his shirt that he was wearing before ripping the fabric into half with his bare teeth. you watch his eyebrows perk when he notices how fucking hot you just found that, evident with the way your walls fluttered around him.

“here, babe.”

you part your lips and he stuffs the fabric into your mouth, there’s a little bit of excess hanging out, but he reminds you that you look sexy as hell either way, on top of his dick like that with your hands on his chest, legs spread, face flushed and ready for him.

“don’t wanna be wakin’ anyone else up.”

yuuta

this man is about to end my whole career

yuuta wouldn’t bring it up on his own accord just because… respect.. and he doesn’t want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable into doing things you’re not ready to.

it’s kind of a gray area for him because he doesn’t relish the idea of bringing up sensitive and/or extremely awkward topics so he really said ‘i’ll leave it up to future me’s problem’

but holy shit. let me absolutely tell you.

the second you hint at it? anything of the sorts? 0 to 100. he is FREAKY you cannot tell me he’s innocent just LOOK at the man

can make you scream with ease. all that practice he’s been doing with handling katanas? he doesn’t need his dick to make you cum. will gladly lick up your leftover juices and remark with a smile on his face how ‘it tastes good, angel’

similarly to itadori, i think he would be sweet and patient when asking for your preferences, etc, but after that you’re gonna have to find something to bite onto

“and? what’d you tell her?” yuuta remarks from over his fanned out deck of three cards. his gaze flickers to you as he awaits a response before using his index and middle finger to lay down a +4 card.

“red, by the way.”

you huff and glare at your boyfriend, picking up four cards and attempting to hold them in such a way that they don’t all fall and rattle to the floor. truth be told? you’re seriously a sore fuckin’ loser. you don’t know how he does it, but you’ve never managed to win a game against yuuta.

“i told maki-san that it’s her problem, not mine. if she’s so pressed about people taking them, why does she keep noodles stored in the fridge? really, noodles in the fridge? they’re really spicy as well! made my nose run like hell.” you scoff in distaste, throwing down a random red card on the pile.

“you totally ate them didn’t you?” yuuta giggles, beaming you a wide smile.

“also.. told her that i didn’t see them instead but- yeah.”

“aren’t you worried she’ll find out? oh, and, uno.”

“she might just beat me up to be honest, and, uno, you say? not anymore, love.” you sneer, throwing down a +4 card.

“i want green.”

“i’d protect you.” yuuta states over his cards. you feel like cracking a joke and laughing, but there’s absolutely zero implication on his facial features to show that he’s joking. that, and his serious tone, of course.

you flip your cards down onto the table and yuuta squeaks, pointing towards them.

“uh- i can see your cards-“

“it’s okay, not like i was gonna win anyway.”

at this point, yuuta’s mind races a hundred miles an hour. he’s panicking, blood pressure raised, heart thumping and throat clogged. oh, shit, did he do something wrong? did he upset you? is it ‘cause he said he’d protect you with no regards to the fact that you’re perfectly capable of fending yourself off against maki? fuck, he’s such a god damn screw-up, can’t even take care of his girlfriend correct-

“hey.”

your fingertips slide around his neck, hands interlocking at the base of his head. your thighs balance on his lap and you straddle him, legs either side of his.

he can’t help but hitch his breath, holding it in as though one wrong move and you would dematerialise.

“what’re you thinking about in that head of yours?”

whether you’re referencing his mini panic attack just now, or if you’re referring to all the multiple times he’s battled just bending you over and railing the absolute shit out of you, there’s not much room for debate when you brush your clothed sex up against the print of his dick.

yuuta snakes his slender hands around your throat, holding it in place. you can feel the arousal pool and wash over you, and you’d be more than surprised if you hadn’t soaked through your clothes.

he lets out a breathy laugh, devastating your stomach with butterflies due to how attractive he sounds. yuuta’s soft lips brush the shell of your ear and his other hand moves to rest on your waist,

“why don’t i show you?”

before you can utter a tease something along the lines of “show me what? how you’re too scared to hit me in bed?” you’re already down, flipped over and bent over the table you and yuuta were using moments prior ago for uno. the cards have splattered all over the wooden floor and you only hiss in discomfort as the cool surface scratches against your delicate skin. your boyfriend towers over you, leaning down as his torso clicks into place against your back. even through his titanium white jacket, you can feel his calm and collected heartbeat. he rests his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into you.

“don’t scream, okay? or, try not to, at least-“

his warm fingertips ghost over the curve of your ass, where he pinches the skin there before delivering a loud slap. you squeak, back arching as you jolt from the action. he proceeds by grabbing the inside of your thighs, long middle finger hoisting around your underwear and pulling it to the side. he makes note of the red lingerie you’re wearing and gives you a small chuckle, peppering a kiss to the side of your face.

“-unless, of course-“

“-you’d prefer everyone hear me fuck you stupid.”

“safe word’s blue, angel. i love you and thank you.”

truth be told, you were never sure what to expect from yuuta. hell, you’d never really seen the man’s dick before, sure you caught glimpses in the morning whenever he’d wake up but it’s really not the same. nothing in the world can compare to the first time you felt his piping hot tip brush up against your slicked cunt. and it was embarrassing, actually, the way your pussy was seething for him already.

with a firm hold on your tailbone, yuuta utilises his lower body strength to ram his dick all the way inside. there’s a garbled and choked moan that hisses from you when you feel your walls wrap and deform around the girth of yuuta’s dick. you whine even more so when you can physically feel a thick vein that decorates his shaft.

“the mirror.” yuuta commands in a low tone, redirecting you to glance at the same mirror you’d always fantasised about him fucking you in front of.

his eyes are half lidded, riddled with concentration. it reminds you of that feral and focused gaze he gets during serious battles.

“don’t look at me. look here.”

you trail the outline of yuuta’s arm veins as a result of him rolling his uniform sleeves up; following his v line that points towards his dick. you can only gawk in awe when you realise you’ve taken him to the base of his shaft.

his gaze locks with yours for a split second and he snaps his hips out until just about his tip is visible inside your cunt.

and shit, if his pretty pink cock isn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, especially with that attractive curve. you’re sure the gesture is just to wind you up, but you can’t help but swoon at him showcasing his pride to you.

“so- mmhf- pretty-“ you whine, words jumbled and breath caught when he slams his dick inside without any prior warning. you can only shriek in exclamation when his tip bruises your cervix, and you’re unsure whether you lament the sensation or not.

he only gives you a cheerful hum, reminding you of his usual cheery disposition. it’s not until then that you realise how much of a fucking beast he’s acting right now.

“right? i’ll put it to good use, i promise.”

gojo

- i know we’re all thinking the same thing here lmfao

- trying to sleep? good for you, now, open your legs for satoru.

- oh you can’t sleep? atta girl, down on your knees for satoru.

- bye i can literally imagine gojo saying some dumbass shit like “think you were trying to sleep but i couldn’t help but think how good my dick would look down your throat like that. sorry, love, you’re not sleeping tonight.”

you blink your eyes in turn with the cicadas chirping aside, stifling a yawn. everything around you down to the very last detail screams at you to sleep, but you just cannot. from the pitch black night that floods the room obscurely, to gojo’s even and quiet breathing beside you. you’ve tried it all. you’ve counted an excess amount of sheep, you’ve tensed and relaxed your body more than you can remember. hell, no matter how many times you’ve flipped the pillow you always seemed to feel less exhausted each time.

you can’t watch netflix, because you’ve binged all your favourite shows. it’s not that you’d wake gojo up because, who cares? by the time you finish scrolling through the endless lists it’ll be time to get up.

you ponder over the things you can do, continuing to subconsciously blink furiously. that is until gojo makes note of your stupid actions and starts giggling like a high schooler at his first sleepover.

“what the hell are you doing?” he snorts, cackling into the pillow like it’s the best joke he’s heard for quite some time.

“shut up, satoru. i’m trying to sleep you ass.” you tut at him, berating him for ruining your divine concentration.

gojo audibly shifts onto his stomach, his right arm crosses over the back of his head as he lazily rests his palm onto his scalp. the other arm preoccupies itself by landing it smack bang onto your chest, fingers wandering up to cup your breast.

“satoru, huh? that’s daddy for ya” he remarks, still giggling in a state of half asleep.

“uh-huh. goodnight.” you dismiss him and his nonsense.

“just go take a shower. always helps me whenever i can’t sleep.”

“hm? you’re giving me actual good advice and being a normal boyfriend? i think i might be asleep already, this is the best dream ever.” you remark sarcastically, prying gojo’s glued wrist off of your breast and sitting up. you could go for a shower, actually. you’re not sure why but it’s always so therapeutic to take one at night rather than the morning.

“huuuh? how could you say that? you’re so mean, (y/n)-chaan! i offered you my love and the world and this is how you repay m-“

“-goodnight satoru. i love you.”

“don’t think professing your love for me will change my mind! i’m still upset at you right now, young lady!” gojo shouts from over his pillow, exclaiming and irritating you in the way he knows how to best.

“yeah, yeah. okay.” you mumble softly to yourself, bearing a wide grin from ear to ear nonetheless.

when you move to crank the water on in the shower, you realise that you didn’t bring along a change of clothes. you momentarily pop back into the bedroom to ransack the drawer for anything that you can find.

“are you back to apologise for being so mean to me?” gojo whines and you can see the pout evident on him even when it’s pitch black.

“no, i’m just here for clothes, satoru.”

you hear him mumble something but it’s muffled by the sheets he’s underneath so you don’t heed any attention to it and resume in taking a shower to help keep your insomnia at bay.

with a ginger step and a small ‘oopf’, you heave yourself into the large shower that only a headass like gojo would bother buying. it’s reminiscent to what a hot tub looks like on the inside, with surrounding jets practically in a full 360 degrees. the things so steep that there’s a small step up in front of the shower outside the actual structure. it must have cost quite the fortune.

you reach in for the built in shelf to grab ahold of some of your toiletries as you allow the water to fall in a gentle sprinkle, almost like rain. there’s an audible squeeze reminiscent to trying to get the last ounces of ketchup as you apply some body gel to your hands, lathering it up.

despite standing, the warmth of the water leads your muscles to feel less tense. the only noteworthy downside is that the running water is tremendously loud. how on earth is gojo sleeping through all that racket?

slender fingertips ghost over your inner thighs. you can feel his wet and sturdy chest in place against your spine.

“surprised to see me?”

“you know i can’t let my baby talk shit like that.”

really? that’s his issue at hand here?

“so which is it?”

“acting like an intolerant brat because you’re tired or ‘cause you wanna get dicked down?”

gojo loops his arm underneath your leg, bending it up. you almost topple over in the process and you lay one hand flat against the tile.

“don’t answer that. sometimes it’s so obvious that you’re such a whore for my dick.”

“huh?! what the shit are you saying?” you snap at how correct he is.

gojo yanks your face back, digging his fingers into your cheeks as he forces you to face him. it almost sends your neck into two pieces, straining to look back at him.

“oh, really princess? just the other day you were begging me to fuck you”

“remember that? couldn’t wait so you rode me in the car? you know, baby, all you gotta do is ask.”

your legs tremble and psyche wobbles when he pries your mouth open with his thumb, promptly before spitting into it.

“don’t bother with the bullshit. i’ll play the games, not you.”

he drags his hard cock against the curve of your ass, slapping it against you.

“i don’t think i feel like fuckin’ you right now.” gojo sneers, humming sardonically. his lips quickly latch onto yours when you spin around to meet his gaze. like the fucker he is, gojo moans and whines into the kiss- lips ravaging you whole and tongue capturing your essence.

“baby girl, i was gonna let you top me. you know i don’t let anyone do that.”

his long middle finger prods against your cunt, forcing itself in with ease.

“damn, you’re soaked. you really wanted to milk me dry that bad?”

you hate him. hate him so fucking bad. he flashes you that attractive smile of his, azure eyes sparkling and snow white hair disturbed with water.

gojo pulls his finger out before sucking onto it in front of you, lapping all the excess arousal off.

“i’m not playing with you tonight.”

toji

- i literally don’t even need to say anything here

- just be sure to make a hospital check up appointment or something

- um-i uh- please remember to breathe after this one? maybe touch some grass? ALSO my first time writing for toji AAA i hope he’s okay

maybe if you don’t breathe? nah, that wouldn’t work. there’s still air acting around your limbs when you move so you’d be disturbing the barriers there. let’s see… maybe bit by bit? surely if you slowly inched his shirt up? then again, wouldn’t toji chew you out halfway through? maybe you should just give it to him straight up? just slip your hand under his shirt. come on. but he looks so peaceful, sleeping like that.. long eyelashes fluttered closed, lips relaxed and not scowling. his eyebrows are softly arched. he looks so soft, lips parted, chest rising and falling with every breath.

fuck it. just do it. cuddle him already.

you muster up all your courage in one fell swoop and you bend one leg over toji, resting it just above his groin. your right arm sprawls out over his chest and your hand rests against his toned arm. he’s already sleeping with one arm bent up with his hand supporting the back of his head, so you utilise the free real estate to nestle your head in the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet.

when he doesn’t move after a while, you deem your life to be safe and exhale with ease.

“you’re not asleep.” toji states in a groggy, husky tone. it’s supposed to be a question, but, coming from him it almost sounds like a challenge.

“yes?” you squeak out meekly.

“‘yes?’ you asleep or not?”

“i can’t sleep again.” you murmur against his shirt and he exhales a small sigh. the arm that you’re clinging onto moves to draw small circles on your thigh that rests on toji.

“when’d you notice?” you inquire, glancing down at his large wrists.

“like five minutes ago. nice try, kid.” toji snorts indifferently, chuckling at your behaviour.

when you don’t make an effort to respond, toji’s interest peaks and he lets out a small hum of intrigue when he follows your gaze.

he turns his head, brushing his lips up against your temples.

“see anything interesting down there?”

“as a matter of fact-“

you nestle yourself in between toji’s large and built thighs, digits curling around the waistband of his boxers. he only smirks at you through the dark, cock twitching through the fabric. you notice toji hover his hips up so that you can slide his boxers off for him and you happily oblige.

“-i do.” you chime, licking your lips.

it’s cute, though, if you thought toji was gonna let you handle him like that all by yourself.

as you kiss a trail up his thick shaft, toji yanks ahold fistfuls of your hair before grabbing your face off of his cock.

“who said you could suck my dick? that’s real cute.”

“thinking you actually have a place in my house.”

“i didn’t train you to be such a depraved slut. know your fucking place, because this isn’t it.”

“how many times do i gotta tell you? you don’t belong here. look around. do you see anything that shows a woman lives here? no? that’s because you’re nothing but a fuck doll for me.”

toji hisses out profanities at the gag you spew when he slams your tiny little mouth back down on his dick.

“lose the teeth you imbecile. unless you’re trying to tell me that you can’t suck my dick properly.”

incessant whines and garbled sentences are muffled by toji’s cock. whatever remnants you had of your vision are nothing but a blur as tears stream your cheeks, nose running and sniffles resurface in a repeating pattern over the slick sounds of slurping and gagging. your mouth stretches as far as it can go and the corners of your lips shriek in despair. you can feel the skin there stretch and pull beyond what’s considered normal.

even through all that, you manage to glance up at toji through your water logged lashes. you’ll be a good girl for him. you need to be.

“fuuuck. that’s a pretty sight.” he grumbles and a deep chuckle resonates through his chest. within a few moments, toji fumbles to reach for something.

you can only wince and screw your eyes at the suddenly blinding flash of a light in front of you. one can only assume he’s taken a photo of you in your humiliating state.

you can feel the fear settle into your veins when that telltale ping of a message being sent vibrates throughout the room. if you were to listen hard enough, you could hear a notification go off in the next room over.

your throat feels raw, jaw tense and locked open. it’s been a good twenty minutes of toji face fucking you to teach you a valid lesson. it’s all in the will of him wanting to drag this on, savouring every miniscule slurp, whimper or gasp. when his strokes start to feel sloppier than usual, you can’t help but feel relieved.

as you squirm about due to toji shooting hot ropes of his thick cum down your throat, the door softly clicks open.

“megumi. you’re just in time.”

“she’s way more obedient than your mom ever used to be.”

[lokisprettygirl]

hi i know i havent done this in a while but thought this was long over due so if you still dont mind these, here are my thoughts about tb...

the last few chapters have been nothing short of incredible, i havent interacted much, fault of my own dismay but really the chapters have been an absolute marvel. the twists and the unanswered questions to many many question linger in the air. (pardon me but for some reason i turn very formal for no utter reason)

one question is what happened with the whole bruce and mummy dearest dilema.

i remember there being a loose end concerning steve and co.

but to now talk of the latest chapter if again you dont mind this annoying

i whole heartedly agree the she was being completely irrational but the fact that she knew she did something wrong shows something. and lokis thoughts are completely valid, with everything he's been through, what they've been through, the trauma of what happened last time still haunts him. he doesnt deserve that and im sorry for that darling.

and that sameera woman ughhhhh. for god bloody fucking sakes, she never deserved a space in his mind to occupy let alone his heart. the gull of that whiny idiotic girl boils my blood as she had the shit to say the shit she did after crying to her father that he took her, which caused him to get beaten to an inch of his life. FUCK OFFF you bitchy little girl (i was very tempted to call her a spoiled rich bitch then remembered y/n)

god darling, i really am just sorry. you dont deserve any of this. please wipe the tears that has had no right to cause you any distraught. your feelings are valid but it doesnt mean you deserve to feel the pain you feel. if you cant hold your tears anymore though darling, know that im here to hold you whilst you curse out the world and i will protect you no matter what (wow that got way too personal? not sure if thats the right word)

him being cold to her is albeit a bit rude, is totally understandable. the walls theyve broken down together were coming back up in the moments he thought and did lose her. only for a second though but he did lose her in those few hours and that was just enough time build back those walls up slowly. he still hasnt forgiven her fully hasnt he? but he still loves her enough to ensure that nothing will happen to her and that i believe is real true love. a bit cliché but it is. hes still very guarded now especially with what happened but god the mysteriousness of him is... i just find it rather hot is all

and also that he trusts her enough to know that she isnt like that woman, though he was desperately holding on to that thought, despite the facts, he really loves her does he. to hold on to the belief and hope that she wont leave him despite everything, god i just love him.

why does the mean side of me think that the one he called was bruce and hes taking revenge on her for leaving him in those few moments. its petty and unlikely but my mind is a labyrinth.

i deeply apologize for psycho analyzing your work but its all truly brilliant and if i may be honest hmbomt is still in my mind. im going through withdrawals and the urge to reread it again is very strong and drew to distracting myself to reading lisik.

anyway hope you have a lovely day darling and hope im not a bother

from your lovely 😊❤️ 💜💙💚💛😊

I never mind these dear, you have no idea how happy I feel to get a feedback (the current chapter literally have 0 comments..zero, I was writing the next chapter yesterday and stopped because it got no interaction for hours and it bummed me out) that's not what motivates me to keep going. This does so never be afraid to send me your thoughts, receiving a feedback on something I wrote will never not make me happy,

I like your formal tone 😂

Ohh bruce and her mum will make an appearance soon 👀

Thank you for trying to see the both sides, if I had Loki's traumas and issues and I read that message from her with her being gone, I'd think the worst too. He was just starting to learn to accept the fact that she loves him and not what he can do for her so this definitely wasn't something he needed.

She needs to learn alot about the life and she needs to learn to love herself and she's trying her best, but she got overwhelmed and instead of confining to him she chose to act out because that's what she had done all her life. That's how her life has been like :(

And yes I think he got swept up by her pain and didn't really get to know the person behind those walls, like bad people can get hurt too, they get depressed and they get Suicidal too but at the end it's all about what they can get, it's all about them.

She didn't care about loki, she cared what he was giving her and then once she realised how tough life was outside her mini palace she couldn't survive it.

He's not taking revenge I can assure you that, he's not vengeful type of guy, he did get a phonecall and had to leave but he can't tell her the truth 👀

Thank you for such high praises for HMBOMT, that fic would be the one fic id save if all my fics were dying and I could only save one 😂

Lisik was my first born so writing style isn't the best there but I put all of my ideas in there, so I hope you will enjoy it because I loved writing that baby.

You're never a bother, thank you my lovely 😍💚

[thebutterflyprince]

rating undertale aus

but theyre only the ones from this school desk ink video(s) cause im lazy

undertale the original game - the man the myth the legend. 10/10

undersail - the concept of undertale as pirates is really funny. 7/10

underfell - i dont know why undertale but red/black color scheme and edgy  and everyones an asshole is so funny to me but its SO funny to me. 9/10

inktale - im like 90% sure this is a sans-only one but when i was like 11 i fucking LOVED ink sans i had an ink sans minecraft skin at one point he gets a 9/10 for nostalgia and also an epic design

dancetale - groovy moves also the art of this one was really pretty. i think this would make a fun game 9/10

errortale - another sans only one im like fairly sure most of errors design is just sans but colors inverted which is super funny. 7/10

aftertale - i gotta be honest most of my knowledge of this fucker is from the christmas party dub but gets a solid 6/10 anyway

sugartale - i never knew what this one was?? i dont think it has a undertale au wiki page? but im like fairly sure its just undertale but with candy designs so like 7/10 i think its cool

outertale - 10/10. its undertale in space i dont need to elaborate

mafiatale - another 10/10. why is the cast of undertale in the mafia? who fucking knows. but its funny as hell

core!tale- i think this one was just frisk but aside from seeing them on like random askblogs i have no idea what this one is about? like 5/10 im so neutral on this one dude

reapertale - the designs for this one fucking slap the concept is also epic 10/10

westerntale - again ive never heard of this one outside of this fucking video but the concept of cowboy undertale is enough for me to give it a 9/10

freshtale - what the fuck was up with this one. sans was some 90s skater guy in rainbow outfits. i ahve no idea if any of the other cast was here. i think sans was posessed by some evil parasite? literally no fucking idea. 10/10

underlust - 0/10 im aroace

chesstale - i dont cvufckng know what this one si? i dont know if they ARE the chess pieces or if they PLAY chess? the art doesnt help?? 3/10 i dont know how to play chess

horrortale - this one had interesting lore but i dont actually rmeember it. what happened here. idk. 6/10

mettatale - this one might have been that one au that like mettaton takes over the underground after a neutral run? but why does everyone have mettaton legs???????????????? 7/10 it has comedic potential

flowerfell - automatic 0/10 for the ship otherwise couldve been a cool concept

underswap - dont know what happened here there was some nuclear explosion in this fandom. about 90% of the explosion was sans. solid 8/10 i think they all have fun designs even if people only cared about sans and maybe papyrus if youre lucky. you guys are not tapping into the potential the temmie and flowey swap has??

storyshift - this one holds a place in my heart i used to LOVE storyshift but like mostly chara and asriel i thought their designs were SOOOO cute. 9/10 for nostalgia points

nightmaretale - i honest to god forget what this one is but the cover image for it its weird. its giving me 4/10 vibes so 4/10

birdtale - another one ive NEVER heard of outside of this video but i think undertale except they all have sick wings is a great concept. i love wings 9/10

pokétale - i love pokémon aus. 8/10

fantasytale - i dont know fucking anything about this one dude 3/10 just cause i dont know ANYTHING about it. it doesnt deserve that low im sure but like i just dont know ANYTHIGN about it

traveltale - i gotta be honest i like have 0 idea what this is. the name doesnt convey much either ?????????????????? 3/10 until i find out more

underland - i assume this is like alice in wonderland undertale but tbh... i dont care for alice in wonderland. 4/10

littletale - i never liked it when i was younger and i still dont really get the appeal honestly 2/10 tho cause some of the art was cute

undertone - i assume this is a music one??? i dont know anything about this one 6/10 tho i love anything music based

understeam - steampunks not my favorite but its pretty cool 6/10

thank you for reading my undertale au reviews. im going to forget about this post in like 5 minutes

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

And if Bella's gift was like Jane's or Victoria's, what would it change?

A lot.

In both cases, Edward gets a full view of Bella’s mundane, human, thoughts and finds her just as mundane and boring as the rest of us. Remember, half of Bella’s appeal to him is that he thinks she thinks nothing of his looks and isn’t attracted to him at all. Bella’s different from the likes of Jessica Stanley, she’s an angel descended to this Earth who is entirely too good for the likes of Edward (but thank god is in desperate need for his protection).

When it comes to Bella’s survival, this is not good, as per Alice in Midnight Sun, the only thing saving Bella’s life is Edward’s belief that he’s in love with her. Otherwise, one day, he will break and devour her.

Bella Has Jane’s Gift

If Bella has an offensive gift then Edward probably has a rough time in Biology. He sits there, looking at her with inhuman loathing and desire, the next moment he’s on the floor in utter agony.

One, it would make a scene. Two, it would utterly humiliate Edward in front of all these humans when he’s already nearly out of his mind with hunger.

Remember, that first Biology class was... It was a very near thing that Edward didn’t murder the entire classroom. He certainly was thinking very hard about it. What saved him was a) he happened to get a whiff of fresh non Bella polluted air and b) he saw Bella looking at him in stark horror and his reflection in her eyes.

I think being in physical agony, making a scene in front of these humans, and being utterly humiliated would cause him to snap. Depending if Bella can hold out long enough until Edward is dragged out of the room screaming, or if she has the instinct to sprint out of that classroom while Edward’s on the floor, I think Edward would eat her immediately.

Then, of course, murder the witnesses as he had fantasized not seconds before.

If Bella makes it out of the classroom then Edward probably swears vengeance upon her and thinks of her as a kind of demon or a witch. Given what happened, and Edward’s personality, I don’t think he’d make the decision he made in canon here to flee the state. In his mind, Bella is not an innocent here, and fully deserving of his hatred.

So, he probably tries to lure her away (which fails as the Bella who survives this long is sensible enough to get in the truck and drive as fast as that thing will go) and then he shows up in her bedroom at night.

We then get a repeat of round 1, except, this time Charlie’s in the house. He finds Edward screaming in agony, having snuck in through his daughter’s open window and his daughter cowering in terror in the corner.

Well, to be frank, either Bella’s gift continues to hold out until Charlie can drag the screaming Edward to the police station or Edward eats them both. Probably, in this case, Edward eats them both.

Edward sits in the aftermath of his own destruction, utterly miserable that this human girl has forced him to not look like Carlisle anymore and embrace his inner demon, and...

To be honest, the kind of devastation this would bring Edward, I think he’d leave the coven. Others have slipped up, yes, and Edward left for years in the past but it’s never been like this. More, it was different for the others. Emmett blacked out and ate a woman. Edward followed this innocent girl home, with enough thought to plan out her murder in excruciating detail.

How is Edward supposed to face Carlisle now?

So, I think Edward would leave without a word, let the family wonder what the fuck happened to him with Alice to fill in the blanks, and return to his diet of eating rapists and feeling utterly miserable with himself.

Bella Has Victoria’s Gift

It depends how much credence Bella gives this gift.

First, she’d likely never go to Forks.

Her gift would be screaming in her ear “FORKS IS DEATH AND DESOLATION! ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE”

So, even though Renee is sighing and wants to follow Phil on the road, and Bella’s feeling like a third wheel, she probably doesn’t go to Forks and chalks it up to “ew rain” and “how awkward to impose on Charlie years later”.

Let’s say Renee wins out though and Bella goes to Forks anyway. She probably never goes to Biology. Ever.

Every time she tries to go her brain just goes “NOPE” and she finds herself sitting in the parking lot wheezing into a paper bag. Sometimes, she finds she can’t even go to the damn school. It’s very embarrassing, Bella has to go to a lot of meetings with the principal, and is probably eventually able to work out something really bizarre.

(Bella does all the text book readings and hands in her homework, does the labs after school, and hands her homework in there. Her teacher tells her to work on those panic attacks.)

Bella never leaves Jessica and Angela in Port Angeles and thus never gets almost raped. She probably drives in a little slower on that icy morning and avoids being hit by Tyler’s van (or else gets crushed by it and dies a sad anticlimactic death). She and Edward Cullen never meet, not once, and whenever it looks like they might Bella feels the sudden need to leave the room and go wheeze into a paper bag somewhere.

Edward might eventually clue in that the girl seems to be avoiding him in particular but from her thoughts he garners that even Bella doesn’t know what brings on these panic attacks. He figures she just has this natural defense mechanism against vampires, recognizes them more even than her fellow humans, and congratulates her on her instinctive wisdom.

Other than that, he has 0 interest in her whatsoever.

[nikosheba]

The Mystery of the Vanishing Elf

First of all, this is not my meta; I’m posting this on behalf of Azh, who wrote it and wanted it on tumblr. (They did say I could take credit for bothering them to write it, and for helping kick around ideas, so I will :D)

Link to the meta on AO3

[all page numbers from the 2007 HarperCollins edition of The Children of Húrin, ISBN 978 0 00 724622 9]

Thanks to starlightwalking for beta-ing!

So I just finished reading the Children of Húrin—which, let’s be honest, I was mostly reading to get the expanded version of the Túrin and Beleg content.  So at first when I started reading the second half — after Beleg’s death — I figured the reason I was less drawn to the text was because, well, Beleg was dead and therefore was less present in the narrative.  After I’d finished the book and put it down, though, I realized it was a little more than that.  Beleg wasn’t just less present. He was completely absent. This is no exaggeration: between the last mention of Beleg’s name in Chapter IX (“The Death of Beleg”) and Túrin’s death, when Gurthang asks to forget the “blood of Beleg my master” there is a single mention of his name, and it’s only a passing description of Gurthang itself as “the Black Sword of Beleg” (pg. 237).

Túrin never says his name again.

What’s going on here?  This is, quite frankly, bizarre. The entire first half of the narrative pivots around the relationship between Túrin and Beleg.  Beleg is the one who finds Túrin when he’s just a child his mother is sending to Thingol in Doriath. Beleg is his friend when’s growing up on Doriath — one of two really mentioned, the other being Nellas — and when Túrin is grown and goes off to be with the marchwardens, “Beleg and Túrin were companions in every peril” (pg 86).  When Thingol and Mablung and everyone else are ready to assume the worst of Túrin, it’s Beleg who shows up with Nellas to tell them what really happened, and it’s notable that this means Beleg didn’t see what happened; he just implicitly trusted Túrin and was the only one to do so.  They care about each other a lot. There is a brief portion of time while Túrin is with the outlaws that they aren’t together (that’s a whole nother post in itself) but Beleg returns to Túrin on Amon Rudh, “in this way, Beleg came back to Túrin, yielding to his love against his wisdom.  Túrin was glad indeed, for he had often regretted his stubbornness; and now the desire of his heart was granted…it seemed to [the outlaws] there had been a tryst between Beleg and their caption.” (pg 139).  These boys are in love. It’s textual.  There’s only one other character Túrin is described as loving in a similar way, and it’s Níniel (Niënor), whom he marries.

In fact, it’s staggering that Níniel is the only other one (pg 218 “Turambar restrained himself no longer, but asked her in marriage”), because there is a very big elephant in the room, and it’s the person whom Níniel is occasionally compared to, Finduilas.  Finduilas is mentioned three times in the text after her death, including twice by Túrin himself in direct quotations:

- “Then Turambar who led the men started back and covered his eyes, and trembled; for it seemed that he saw the wraith of a slain maiden that lay on the grave of Finduilas.” (pg. 214, when Túrin first finds Níniel)

- "But even as he spoke, he wondered, and mused in his mind: 'Or can it be that one so evil and fell shuns the Crossings, even as the Orcs? Haudh-en-Elleth! Does Finduilas lie still between me and my doom?’” (pg. 229, when Túrin is preparing to fight Glaurung for the last time),

- “Therefore he arose and went to the Crossings of Teiglin, and as he passed by Haudh-en-Elleth he cried: 'Bitterly have I paid, O Finduilas! that ever I gave heed to the Dragon. Send me now counsel!’” (pg. 253, after he’s killed Brandir and is desperately trying to deny that Níniel was Niënor, his sister)

This is huge. And it’s huge, because Túrin is not in love with Finduilas. This, again, is explicit, and textual, "In truth Finduilas was torn in mind. For she honoured Gwindor and pitied him, and wished not to add one tear to his suffering; but against her will her love for Turin grew day by day, and she thought of Beren and Luthien. But Turin was not like Beren! He did not scorn her, and was glad in her company; yet she knew that he had no love of the kind she wished. His mind and heart were elsewhere, by rivers in springs long past.” (pg 166, ”Túrin in Nargothrond”). So.  Túrin never falls in love with Finduilas, and, in fact, the reason he doesn’t fall in love with her is that his “mind and heart are elsewhere”.  Hmmmm. I wonder where his heart is?

Okay, so then why is it that Túrin repeatedly refers to Finduilas but not to Beleg?  It’s really obvious based on the quotes I’ve given so far that he was in love with Beleg (and for god’s sake, the man doesn’t talk for a YEAR after Beleg’s death), that he was not in love with Finduilas, and that he was (or thought he was, at least) in love with Níniel, enough to ask her to marry him.  So where the hell is Beleg in his thoughts for all this time when he’s falling for Níniel and thinking back to Finduilas?

For the answer to this, we need to consider the dual nature of Níniel’s relationship to Túrin, and what its source is.

Yes, Túrin loves Níniel, as his wife, but we know he also loved his sister Niënor, as a sister, and part of the reason he kills himself is that he can’t handle that he’s driven his sister to her death via incest (albeit accidental incest).  It’s notable that Túrin loves Finduilas as a sister,

“Then Turin spoke freely to [Finduilas] concerning these things, though he did not name the land of his birth, nor any of his kindred; and on a time he said to her: 'I had a sister, Lalaith, or so I named her; and of her you put me in mind. But Lalaith was a child, a yellow flower in the green grass of spring; and had she lived she would now, maybe, have become dimmed with grief. But you are queenly, and as a golden tree; I would I had a sister so fair.’” (pg. 164, “Túrin in Nargothrond”.)

So these references to Finduilas make a narrative kind of sense — in addition to it mostly happening as Túrin is passing her grave, it’s a textual reminder of a hidden truth: Níniel is not just Túrin’s lover, but also his sister.  He even finds her upon the grave of someone he loved as a sister.  But there’s another truth hidden in the text as well, and it’s related to Níniel’s nature as Túrin’s lover.  Because let’s be real, if he found her on the grave of someone he loved very firmly in a non-romantic way, why does he become romantically interested in her?  She’s his sister—obviously he doesn’t know that, but the narrative is saying it very, very clearly.  Well…there’s a confounding factor.

Here’s how Túrin finds Níniel (pg. 214): “Now it chanced that some of the woodmen of Brethil came by in that hour from a foray against Orcs, hastening over the Crossings of Teiglin to a shelter that was near; and there came a great flash of lightning, so that the Haudh-en-Elleth was lit as with a white flame.”

And here is how Túrin discovers that he has killed Beleg (pg. 155): “But as he stood, finding himself free, and ready to sell his life dearly against imagined foes, there came a great flash of lightning above them, and in its light he looked down on Beleg's face.”

The narrative does draw a parallel between Níniel and Beleg, an extremely strong (if subtle) one.  It uses literally the same phrase to set up the scene: “there came a great flash of lightning”.  So there’s a pretty clear answer as to why Túrin might associate Níniel with romantic love—he doesn’t just find her on his as-it-were sister’s grave, he finds her in a way that hearkens strongly back to the last time he ever saw his lover’s face.

So why doesn’t he think of Beleg now?

Why is the thought of his lover—whose loss cut him so deeply he didn’t speak for a year—so far out of his mind at this moment that his name isn’t even mentioned, even when narratively there’s no way he shouldn’t think of him?

Okay, I’ve drawn this out enough, so let’s cut to the chase: Glaurung. Glaurung, who is responsible for the first hidden truth that I mentioned, the more textually explicit one, that Níniel is Niënor, Túrin’s sister.  He bespells Niënor upon Amon Ethir, “Then he drew her eyes into his, and her will swooned. And it seemed to her that the sun sickened and all became dim about her; and slowly a great darkness drew down on her and in that darkness there was emptiness; she knew nothing, and heard nothing, and remembered nothing,” (pg 209, “The Journey of Morwen and Niënor”) causing her to lose her memories and with her memories her name and therefore any way for Túrin to know who she is.  Glaurung earlier bespells Túrin as well, “Without fear Turin looked in those eyes as he raised up his sword; and straightway he fell under the dreadful spell of the dragon, and was as one turned to stone.” (pg. 178, “the Fall of Nargothrond”)  The first, obvious result of Glaurung’s spell (and the only explicit one) is that he leaves Finduilas and rushes off to try and find Morwen and Niënor.  Now, we’re meant to believe that this is all that the spell does, since in “The Return of Túrin to Dor-Lómin”, pg. 166, the text notes, “And suddenly a black wrath shook him; for his eyes were opened, and the spell of Glaurung loosed its last threads, and he knew the lies with which he had been cheated.”

But I don’t think this makes sense.  I think Tolkien is being poetical here and the “last threads” he’s talking about are specifically the lies about Finduilas.  A number of Túrin’s conversations with Níniel point towards the fact that he’s forgotten something really important and that in that regard the dragon’s spell is still intact.  For example, when Túrin tells Níniel what to call him (pgs 217-218, “Niënor in Brethil”):

“Then she paused as if listening for some echo; but she said: 'And what does that say, or is it just the name for you alone?'

“’It means,' said he, 'Master of the Dark Shadow. For I also, Niniel, had my darkness, in which dear things were lost; but now I have overcome it, I deem.’”

“My darkness” is eerily similar to the repeated motif of Níniel’s darkness, which explicitly refers to the spell cast on her by Glaurung.  

“Behind her lay only an empty darkness” (pg 213, “Niënor in Brethil”); “it seem to her that the darkness that lay behind her was overtaking her again” (pg 214, “Niënor in Brethil”); “it seemed to her that she had found at last something that she had sought in the darkness” (pg. 215, “Niënor in Brethil”); and the two most relevant quotations, “And at that name she looked up, and she shook her head, but said: 'Níniel.' And that was the first word that she spoke after her darkness, and it was her name among the woodmen ever after” (pg 216, ”Niënor in Brethil”); and “when at length she had learned enough to speak with her friends she would say: 'What is the name of this thing? For in my darkness I lost it.’” (pg. 217, “Niënor in Brethil”)

So here it is: Túrin has lost “dear things” in “his darkness” (Glaurung’s spell) and he thinks that Níniel is what he has lost, but she isn’t—or she isn’t the only thing that’s missing. Glaurung has ripped out of Túrin’s mind the memory of the only person he’s ever had romantic feelings for—Beleg—and because he’s confused and trying to find something to fill that gap, Níniel gets cast in a dual role—not just sister (with her ties to Finduilas) but also lover (with her subtler ties to poor, missing Beleg).  

This theory also has significant implications for Túrin’s death, since that’s the only time that Beleg is mentioned again, apart from a tangential sidenote.  When Mablung finally confirms to Túrin what he’s already beginning to fear is the truth, that Níniel was his sister Niënor, he runs up to the Cabed-en-Aras, from which Níniel has thrown herself, and he asks his sword to kill him. His sword is Gurthang, which was Anglachel, made by Eöl, the sword that Thingol gave to Beleg and that Túrin used to accidentally kill him, and the response is somewhat unexpected, since up till now we haven’t had any indication that it’s a talking sword,

“‘And from the blade rang a cold voice in answer: 'Yes, I will drink your blood, that I may forget the blood of Beleg my master…I will slay you swiftly.’” (pg. 256, “The Death of Túrin”)

Interestingly, this is after the sword has been reforged, and there’s no particular reason it should refer to Beleg as its master — after all, Túrin has been wielding it for years, and it was made by someone else entirely.  So then, why?  And why does it ask to forget his blood in particular?

Because Túrin has remembered, finally.  Whether the sword is picking up on the mood, whether it’s a narrative device, or whether it isn’t even really talking and it’s just Túrin’s mind playing tricks on him in his last extremis, I don’t know—though I favor the latter interpretation, particularly because Túrin himself is referred to as “the Black Sword” on numerous occasions.  But the important point here is Túrin has remembered, because Glaurung is dead, and his memory spells die with him, “Then Nienor sat as one stunned, but Glaurung died; and with his death the veil of his malice fell from her, and all her memory grew clearer before her, from day unto day, neither did she forget any of those things that had befallen her since she lay on Haudh-en-Elleth.” (pg. 243, “The Death of Glaurung”)

So Túrin knows by now exactly what he’s done—not only inadvertently marrying his sister but betraying the one great romantic love of his life.  The one he has probably just remembered accidentally killing in great detail.  It’s probably quite present in his mind when, rather than throw himself over the waterfall as Níniel did, he flings himself onto the very same sword that killed the only person he was ever in love with, whose name he has finally, finally been able to bring to mind…

In sum, Glaurung erases Beleg’s memory so thoroughly from Túrin’s mind that only tiny, hidden glimpses remain, even in the text.  This is the solution to the mystery of the vanishing Elf; it explains why Beleg vanishes right up until the very end, and it ties together the sense I had when I was reading the second half of something missing, something hidden, something incomplete.  It is, I imagine, the same way Túrin must have felt after he awoke—as he thought, completely—from the spell that Glaurung laid upon him the first time they fought.

[A/N: I also wrote a fic based on this premise: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980519 ]

[phoebehalliwell]

what are your thoughts on thruples? cause I keep thinking about Paige/Henry/Coop, especially with Henry and Coop's epic bromance in the comics

ooh that could be very interesting. personally, i'm game for throuples (tho i will say i Hate the word throuple i think it sounds gross just like you know moist or something so i usually just say "poly relationship") but i do kind have beef when it's like. like you know the meme "it doesn't have to be like this [blank] has two hands"? funny meme i do like it but i hate when a poly relationship is just kinda an excuse to merge two couples rather than something that like emerges as distinct relationships between all three parties. like bella edward and jacob as a couple like. shure because bella loves edward and bella loves jacob but jacob and edward really don't like have anything there it's more like roommates who share a girlfriend rather than a poly relationship. one piece of media that i think really did it well was siren on freeform which i highly recommend the first two seasons it kinda goes off the rails s3 and then was cancelled but the first two season it really spends time fleshing out all aspects of the relationships between ben, ryn, & maddie and it also actually goes canon which is lit 🤙🤙

but basically. if i were to do a paige/henry/coop, i think i would start with specifically a paige/coop bromance introduce henry into the mix & let it blossom from there so like. as previously stated. i think each leg of the triangle here needs to be strong n steady on its own so um underneath the cut is i believe a record breaking 6.6k

rip richard but we'll say richard also died in this au rip. and then, of course, kyle also died. idk if he's a whitelighter or not but the point is paige has this weight on her chest like god i can't save these people i can't save the people i love ouch everything hurts

& that's when coop shows up!

and we'll have his introduction plot be a fusion of heartbreak city and the magic hour where coop's got this relationship and it's perfect they're so in love but there's this demonic interference and it's gonna kill one or both of them so he busts down the charmed ones' door like hi you guys are protectors of the innocent right well i have some innocents in dire need of protection

to which this duty gets turfed to paige because piper idk has work and phoebe has a date and phoebe's like i can cancel it to help! and coop's like what no the whole reason i'm here is love go go find love paige can totally handle this

and paige is like :| because she really doesn't want this gig and coop's explaining it all to her how this love is going to be broken up by a magical death unless they stop it and paige is like okay look here coop let's not get our expectations up to high because in my experience almost all relationships end in a magical death and coop’s like !!!

and immediately does like a cupid reading on her and paige is trying to bat him away like ew no i do not need any love guru-ing right now okay let’s just fix your thing and then you can leave okay

and coop’s like no don’t you see? this is fate, the fact that it’s you and me on this, it means i’m meant to be here, i’m meant to help you find love

and paige is like uh no it means piper’s a mother of two and phoebe’s on a date while i am the tragic spinstress of magic school (which is still under her charge just bc it is we didn’t abandon it)

and coop’s like nope. it’s fate. and paige rolls her eyes and coop’s like come on, like you don’t believe in fate and paige is like actually i don’t! and coop just smiles at her bc he knows she’s lying and paige knows she knows he’s lying and she tries to sneer at him but it’s just insanely half hearted bc to be honest her heart kinda skipped a beat with that smile but no

absolutely not

dude, all she gets is cursed love, and now a cupid?

she can’t go through all that she can’t fight for love only to watch him die no she’s gonna ignore it he’s not that cute anyways oh fuck he totally is but whatever!!! doesn’t matter

so blah blah blah paige and coop save the day including one moment where idk there’s an explosion or something they have to dodge something hide for attackers something where they get thrown up against a wall faces inches apart from each other breathing heavy undeniably a moment which they both Immediately break because wooooah that is a little too much chemistry!! better act like that never happened

and you know next episode or whatever coop’s like okay let’s find you love!! and paige is like not now i’m at work and coop’s like in an alleyway and paige is like i need to look after my charge and then after that i need to grade papers and after that i need to order cauldrons and after that-

and coop’s like find love?

and paige is like no. i need to.... but um she forgot the rest of her list

and coop’s like find love excellent sounds great!

and paige is like anyone ever tell you you’re really annoying and coop’s like nope i’m a cupid :0)

and blah blah blah they’re arguing and something something w paige’s charge and paige is like i gotta go talk to him but coop holds her back because wait who’s that approaching him and paige is like fuck that must be his parole officer bc idk he’s doing something that is obviously breaking parole and paige is like aaaaaaa what do we do and then it’s a henry face reveal and both paige and coop are like woah.

but then paige is storming off trying to like try to fight henry and henry’s like what the fuck is this?? and coop’s running up like hi i’m also here and speed’s like i-cannot stress this enough-do not know any of these people and coop’s like you don’t know us yet and paige is like you can’t do this speed’s a good kid and speed’s like yeah!!

and henry’s like he was so very obviously breaking parole and paige is like he’s a kid and henry’s like a kid who’s been to juvie!! twice!!! and who should know the damn rules by now

and paige is like look something something clever talk bargaining whatever puts something of her own at stake and henry’s like you’re really gonna risk it all on this kid and paige is like yes. he’s destined for greatness. and speed is like yeah!! and henry’s like fine. whatever. but when the other shoe drops, you know like i’m gonna cash in whatever wager paige made here

& he leaves

and speed’s like thanks also who are you and idk we get a paige monologue something full of love and spirit and coop’s also there still and speed’s listening to this monologue kinda like um okay bc honestly? just met her five minutes ago this is kind of a lot but coop’s listening to this monologue like wow😍

so idk speed leaves and coop’s like hey so do you pick a fight with all the guy’s you find attractive and paige is like what

and coop’s like well i’m just saying you know with richard with kyle with me and now with henry i’m kinda sensing a pattern there

and paige is like did you just include yourself on that list and coop’s like i mean yeah duh

and paige kinda wants to argue back but her blush is giving her away so it’s best just to change the subject so what you think i should be going for the parole officer?

and coop’s like yes! didn’t you feel it there was a spark there passion energy something that with the help of yours truly can easily turn into love and paige is like yeah no. absolutely not.

and coop’s like come on why not he was hot and paige is like yeah well if he’s so hot why don’t you date him and coop pauses like hmm like genuinely consider and paige is like don’t do that

and coop’s like why not and paige is torn between don’t date him because i actually did feel that spark and i do kinda like him and also don’t date him because if you’re gonna date anyone it should be me but both those are too embarrassing to say out loud to her cupid so instead she just says conflict of interest

and we flash forward to later idk when the point is speed is doing graffiti on public property but not just like stupid pointing a spray can at something la la la like proper graffiti like an artform but as it is unfortunately public property that is Illegal so it breaks parole

so idk henry’s there and busts him and paige senses speed’s in trouble so she shows up and henry’s like good you’re here. i’m not actually gonna cash in the thing that you wagered because that’d be unfair, because i know the kid, i know that he always let’s you down and speed’s like hey man

but paige is looking up at the wall and she’s like don’t you get it and henry’s like ...no and paige is like it’s art. it’s a release, it’s a coping mechanism and speed’s like idk that’s all sounding a little bit pretentious for a bit of graffiti and paige is like you can’t arrest him for this and henry’s like it’s literally illegal. & i already let him walk once what part of this aren’t you getting

and then there’s like a. idk cop radio thing i don’t know how police work that’s talking about how whatever gang speed used to run with just robbed some place but they’re hot on their tail bc their getaway driver sucks and henry’s looking at speed bc speed Is the getaway driver hence the name and henry’s like how come you aren’t driving that car huh

and speed just shrugs and henry’s like no how come you’re not driving that car what you swap out one crime for another you’re getting busted either way and speed like shrugs 

and paige is like he’s creating art instead and henry’s like did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speed shrugs and henry’s did they approach you to drive the getaway car and speeds like yes man they did i said no and henry looks up at the art

and it’s some super nail on the head craving freedom thing a bird breaking free from a cage type shit and it’s gorgeous

and henry looks at paige like what are you, huh

and paige is like freelance guardian angel

and henry just uncuffs speed and speed’s like what are you doing and henry’s like go. next time you do this find a wall that isn’t public property

and speed can’t help it he kinda smiles n runs off and henry just looks at paige bc what the hell has this girl gotten into him bc normally he’s just got such a concrete shell but she’s smiling at him like he just made the right choice and he’s really gotta fight the urge to smile back. what the fuck

so he says something stupid and leaves

and later paige is doing something when boom coop is here invading her personal bubble bc that’s become their new mode of communication is there are one thousand empty chairs and coop is seated in one paige will walk over and sit on that same chair that’s how they operate bc again there’s this sense of longing for one another and they both know they can’t go for it so instead they just opt for this intense intimacy passed off as friendship

and paige is like met the parole officer again and coop’s like oh henry mitchell? and paige is like how do u know his full name and coop’s like did my research<3 and they’re talking blah blah blah idk and it’s both how to land a date with this guy and also heavy flirting at the same time. and then like phoebe walks into the room and they snap apart like magnets with the same polarity i think?? been a while since the fifth grade and their language just becomes so much more stifled

to which phoebe is vaguely aware and this is a change but we as the audience are super aware it’s a change meaning that their constant flirty banter is a choice on both parts they are both very consciously doing this

and then i don’t know there’s something bigger going on in the main plot which has been building and the main villain needs something magical from each type of being so a cupid’s next on the grocery list so idk coop is either out minding his own business getting coffee or he’s out on reconnaissance on henry when all of a sudden he’s attacked!! by idk an arrow seems convenient honestly we should do a bow and arrow an homage to in original cupid iconography

and henry’s in proximity and sees this and idk maybe they’re somewhere where there aren’t that many people just so you know u can be attacked by a bow and arrow and henry’s like what the fuck!??!?! running over to help him and he vague recognizes him as the angel’s friend but is mainly like holy shit did you just get shot with a bow and arrow and henry’s like i’ll call an ambulance i’ll drive u to the hospital

and coop’s like no no uhh can’t go with the whole i am actually a magical being i exist in no databases and also have no money so instead goes with the i have no health insurance and henry’s like hmm. fuck.

so the next thing you know coop’s on henry’s couch and henry’s doing rudimentary first aid and coop’s really trying to hobble away because if he can just get to paige she can heal this because she unlocked that power in like s5 or s6 in a more natural progression but henry’s not letting him leave because dude you have an arrow in your chest

and now we’re doing the hurt comfort schtick with the meaningful glances and also coop is shirtless bc well you know Arrow In Chest and he’s also in henry’s apartment which is offering a very weird sense of intimacy

and there’s also this kind of banter going because coop’s like no i’m fine i can leave this is fine and henry’s like dude. please let me at least try to help you and after that you can walk right out of here and go repuncture your lung. but just. while you’re. let me do what i can

and coop’s like okay because like. well i mean a) gotta keep up appearances like he’s mortal and b) henry’s kinda fine so sure he can play doctor what��s the worse that can happen

and henry’s like okay we gotta get this arrow out of you so um. any ideas on how to do that? and coops like yeah break off the feathered part and then pull the rest through

and henry’s just like yeah? you have experience with this? and coop’s like once or twice and henry’s like what do you do?

and coop’s like ... relationship therapist

and henry’s like are relationship therapists frequently attacked by archers and coop’s like yeah more often than you’d think 

and henry removed the arrow and the actual point stabby bit of the arrow is shaped like a heart just for funsies bc it’s for cupids but henry’s looking at this like relationship therapist hunting arrow??

anyways. henry is pressing some bandages against coop’s chest to staunch the bleeding and there’s a Moment there to which henry kinda falters because woah gay thoughts?? and the pressure lightens but then o shit i’m lightening the pressure don’t do that!! so he pushes hard and coop’s like aa!! and henry’s like fuck jesus and coop just kinda laughs like i guess you don’t patch up arrow wounds that frequently and henry’s like yeah actually you’re my first!!

something something something coop’s patched up and henry gives him once of his shirts because coop’s shirt had to be cut off him bc of the arrow and we get one of the classic how to i look / starstruck moments because hell yeah we do

and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah coop makes it home and paige is like where in god’s name did u get that shirt bc it looks nothing like what coop would wear in fact in kinda reminds her of

believe it or not, henry

hot parole officer henry?

the one and only

and paige is like you slept with him??? and coop’s like close. i was shot with an arrow and he patched me up

and paige is like !!! because you know main plot evil all this that coop takes off henry’s shirt so paige can see the wound and heal it and she’s looking at henry’s handiwork and it really is the old college try but that man is not a medic so now paige is laying her hand on coop’s bare chest and phoebe walks in and immediately turns on a heel like i’ll give you guys some space!!

and paige is like no it’s fine i’m healing him he was shot main plot and phoebe’s like oh

and then later phoebe’s talking with paige like okay you and coop tho. bc like. ik ik healing or whatever. but like. 👀👀.

and tbh paige has been waiting for this because she really needs to unpack bc like i know!! because coop and i have this thing and it’s a great thing but it like can’t be a thing it’s a forbidden thing but i want it to be a thing but at the same time there’s this other guy and i can’t get him off my mind and i’m worried i’m just viewing him as a safer alternative instead of coop but like. idk he was just my backup i feel like i would be more lukewarm about it. but i’m not. like. i’m really not i kind wish i was because i don’t know if i can do a relationship again especially because he’s mortal like i can’t have someone i care for die again so maybe it’s safer just to keep what i have with coop or maybe even to explore that further? and keep henry safe? but like this and that and this and that

and phoebe’s like buzzing because it’s been a while since she’s had such an interesting love mess to tinker with so the first thing she does is go to coop just to see what she can sus out there Meanwhile paige is with speed where you ask? p3. well, outside of it

speed is painting the side of the club with this amazing artwork and clearly there’s this vein of magic running through it with certain symbols all that and he’s using paintcans and paige has her paintbrush and is adding smaller pieces as well

and she’s like hey where’d you get like that idea or thing idea because they’re all like. runes or magical somethings or others and speeds like idk. saw it in a dream maybe.

and henry rolls up because he stopped at the manor looking for paige and piper directed him here and he’s just like. like he sees this amazing work and it’s a big heart full moment and paige and speed finish up and speed adds his little signature at the bottom and leaves and henry says he’s proud of him and speed acts like he doesn’t care but he does

so henry’s like hey how’s your friend and paige is like coop? yeah, no he’s totally fine and henry’s like really???

and paige is like yeah no um. my brother in law! is an army medic. so um. he was able to. yeah : ) which isn’t technically a lie because leo was he’s just also kinda frozen in a block of ice now so whoops

and henry’s like that’s good but the real reason he’s her it to like thank paige for you know like. seeing the light like maybe henry has become too bitter and jaded so it’s good to know that there are freelance guardian angels out there keeping the balance and you know watching out for these kids so thank you for just like. being a good person.

and he also looks at her art and he’s like this your coping mechanism and paige is like yeah [tragic backstory swap time!!] and both paige and henry kinda realize how they’re like almost mirrors to each other and henry kisses her and paige kisses him back but then stops because she likes him too much which means he’s gonna die

so she’s like sry i gotta go and henry’s like oh :\ because um. well. whoops. because like. god he so rarely goes out on a limb like that and for one moment there it felt like it was all gonna align like he wasn’t gonna get ditched but paige’s green punchbuggy is already peeling out of the lot so guess not

so phoebe’s determined that coop is indeed in love with paige so all that needs is a little nudging okay she’s on mission time to go

and then next thing you know paige is storming in all in a tizzy because she kissed henry and coop’s like this is great news and paige is like no this is bad news! and coop’s like ???

and paige is like no you don’t understand it’s like i’m cursed because whenever i love someone whenever i truly love someone they die and that kiss....... it was..... i can’t have henry die

and coop is like on full cupid mode idk a cupid monologue blah blah blah love <3 and it kind of heals paige both in a sense that it quells her worries but also in a sense that being around coop always seems to make her feel better like she just feels warmer feels safer when he’s around so um. she should probably. figure something out about that. esp in regards to henry. right?

anyways. coop for some reason or another runs into henry again (call it fate) and henry’s like hey r u okay? and coop’s like yeah : ) ! and thank you, by the way, for um patching me up and stuff and henry’s like yeah no problem but um look can i ask you a favor and coop’s like sure

and henry’s like you’re a relationship therapist right and coop’s like yeah 99% sure he knows where this is going and henry’s like like family and relationship counselling and coop’s now only like 40% sure he knows where this is going and he’s like sure and henry’s like great okay so um i’ve got this parolee who [plot background story idk there needs to be some familial healing something or other] is there like. anyway you can help out with that

and coop’s like totally!! and henry’s like oh thank god because like. therapy expensive.

and now we get another one of those moments like seeing someone in their element henry sees coop as he goes basically full cupid but rather than romantic love it’s familial and henry’s like in awe and he’s also kind like wow okay i’d totally make out with that guy like right now but like. like he just kissed paige. and he knows coop and paige are friends. so like. like he can’t do that right? is that too weird?

so family therapy a success and like as established forging bonds of love strengthens cupids so coop’s like word you know if you ever need this on a more regular basis and henry’s like i promise you’re gonna regret offering that and coop’s like not a chance and henry’s like i really have like nothing to pay you with and coop’s like you make these kids lives better. i don’t need payment and henry looks over and gets is Own aha moment of oh i do have a purpose and also i love my job type thing

but. there is another task at hand. because like. are you and paige?? like??

and coop’s like me and paige??? and he’s about to say no because no they’re not but now he’s thinking about it and they are kinda more than they are not but henry’s not asking about the minutiae of it so now henry’s just watching him go on this face journey before going why do you ask : ) and henry’s like no nothing i just thought like well i don’t know what i thought

and coop’s like haha yeah well you know it’s um. haha yeah! you know how it is. i mean. paige is amazing and henry’s like yeah she really is and coop’s like yeah and like she’s just got all this love in her heart and henry’s like i know!! and she’s so smart like you should see what she’s done with speed she got him this place where he can put up his own art and like blah blah blah and at this point it is just coop and henry praising paige to each other for about five minutes before they kinda realize what’s going on and they’re like hmm. well this is kinda weird. cuz now we both kinda sound in love with her.

and coop’s like listen. i know paige really likes you. like a lot

and henry’s like woah i’m gonna stop you there because um. like. i mean i don’t wanna sound weird but like. like we did kiss and then she kinda just ran off and i mean literally ran hopped into her car drove away type thing so. i don’t really think so. so :\

and coop’s like no i mean like okay yeah that did happen but dude you’ve gotta understand she’s had so much loss and henry’s like no i know she told be about her parents and coop’s voice gets real low leans in because this is Top Secret information and he’s like it goes beyond that and henry’s like what and coop’s like her past two boyfriends both died. one from a heart attack, the other was hit by a car (well, no richard was not hit by a car but when all the magic inside you fucks you up that bad evidently the wreck that’s left kinda looks like you were hit by a semi. ouch) and coop’s like so paige kinda just. thinks she’s cursed.

and henry’s like oh. because my god. that’s a lot to process. and that like. like makes so much sense because like if that happened to him he really wouldn’t be able to date again hell that did not happen to him and he’s already barely able to date bc of how afraid he is of getting hurt

but coop’s out here like henry it’s not you like i promise she really likes you i mean you’re a good man and you’re brave and you’re passionate and like you’re hot, obviously and coop theoretically starts complimenting henry from paige’s point of view but then it very clearly starts to dissolve into coop’s pov and we’re still riding that chemical high of the In Your Element passion henry has for coop added onto the good person bonus of yes i’ll continue to help you with this endeavor for literally no benefit and now he’s just rattling off compliments to henry and henry’s just like oh jeez 😳😳🥰

and there’s just like. the briefest moment of henry’s eyes darting down to coop’s lips and coop’s daze is kinda broken and he realizes that he’s just been telling henry how foioine he is to his face and there’s a moment spellbound lookin into each others eyes like damn this is kinda gay & then they’re making out

and then henry’s like ohhh my god what am i doing what have i done oh know because you’re paige’s friend you like paige and i kissed her earlier today and now i’m oh my god this is a bad idea right? this is a bad idea?

and coop’s thinking on it because like okay he has been trying to pair paige and henry together a) because they’d be cute together and she clearly likes him but also b) because he really likes her and he can’t be with her bc he’s a cupid so at least if she’s with someone else who she loves he can be happy knowing she’s happy. but now he’s here with henry and he shouldn’t be because Again he’s trying to pair paige with henry and he can’t be with henry bc as previously stated cupids can’t actually have relationships but he shouldn’t even be thinking that because henry isn’t for him but even if he was which he isn’t it wouldn’t work because he’s a cupid so um. yeah. this is a bad idea

yeah

yeah

no they’re makin out again.

anyways. l8r at p3 someone else who owns a local business sees the art on the wall outside and is like yo who did that because i would totally pay them to do idk my food truck or something and piper’s like i’ll tell u exactly who did that

so idk i think legally since speed’s a minor and a parolee henry has to be involved in the job getting process actually wait speed just turned 18. idk what any of this means but we’ll say henry needs to be there so piper gave paige the food truck guys digits and paige passes on the news to speed and henry and like. paige shows up at henry’s office to be like good news!!

and to level with you henry thought that like. after making out with coop maybe his feeling for paige would dissipate like maybe he was secretly gay this whole time and paige was just a safe route to project those feeling but paige comes in with this smile that puts the goddamn stars to shame and henry’s like nope!! still in love with her!!

and paige is like okay because like this is all set you know like this could even lead to a career in art for speed like and henry’s like yes absolutely but now that the initial glow of that has worn off they’re both kinda remembering that the last time they saw each other they kissed and then paige bolted so yeah they should probably address that

and paige is like look i want to apologize for just kind of. running out the other day. that really wasn’t. it wasn’t right and i know this sounds dumb but it really wasn’t about you i’m just i’ve been in this weird place and i do like you henry like i really do so i don’t want you to think 

and henry’s like i feel like i kind of apologize too because i kinda made out with your friend and paige pauses because like she really has no friends well i guess besides coop but like there’s and henry tacks on coop to clarify and paige just snorts laughing

like she has no idea why that’s so funny but it just kinda is like. what!!

and henry’s like yeah but it was like. it’s. he really likes you paige he really does care for you i mean i really care for you too and henry’s kind of playing both sides here because he does like. really like paige. and that’s why he wants her to be happy and it’s her choice who she feels who she’d be most happy with whether that’s hm or coop because honestly coop is p amazing henry wouldn’t be burnt losing to him because coop is a great guy and paige is just watching him ramble smiling and henry realizes he doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore so he just kind of trails off and gets kind of lost in paige’s smile because like. wow : )

and paige is just kind of there processing that information because um wow who could have seen this coming and honestly she’s still not over coop kissing henry that’s just so unbelievable entertaining to her she’s so gonna hafta prod coop about it later because dude what?? what? bro. bro. bro. like. like the two guys she’s in love with kissed like bro what!!!! lmao she would pay money to see that how tf did that happen. she would have loved to have been there. that’s insane. she really wished she was there. like. really wished she was there. hmm. should she stew on that a little more?

and henry’s like. this is awkward. i’m sorry. i don’t want things to be weird between us. and paige is like henry i think things have been weird between us since i first picked an argument with you in an alleyway. and henry’s like true!! and they’re laughing and there’s a beat and henry’s like i think i fell in love with you in that moment. and paige is like yeah?

and henry’s just. i mean like. look at her <3 but like. she deserves. like she deserves the best there is and he’s just some guy like some jaded hardass who lives in a crappy apartment and who always forgets how to do the right thing it seems not to mention all his fucking baggage like. she deserves better. 

and paige sees him kinda retreat and like she kind of pulls out of the moment too because she loves henry she does but like that fear that he’s gonna die is still there and she wants to fight it she just doesn’t know if she can but like. she really really does like him.

and now they’re both standing there again another moment turned to dust in the wind now they’re just two people standing there incredibly normal about it yep just two people nope paige is kissing henry ope okay yep they’re making out and boom someone’s knocking on henry’s office door o quick act natural because hi henry heard you needed like the legal paperwork because speed’s getting a job here you go and henry’s like 👍 thank you very obviously flushed and his coworker is like. what the fuck is going on in that office. but like. doesn’t really care enough to find the answer to that question.

so paige is like you should come to p3 l8r tonight to like celebrate speed getting a job blah blah blah blah and henry’s like i will be there

so later paige is getting dolled up in a fire outfit just adding the final touches when coop shows up bc phoebe said you needed to see me? (with phoebe’s strategy fully being in mind that paige looks hella fly right now but also is still in the manor an area paige and coop have kind of curated as their space also like once she goes to p3 it’s simply too loud too crowded to have a heart to heart like what is about to happen here which she would listen all unfold but piper unfortunately dragged her away to help with the boys but i’m sure it’s all going well)

and paige is like ....nope. and coop’s like ah. well. you look great. going to see henry? which he asks that question like he’s walking on very thin ice and paige is like yeah and i gotta say i can’t believe you kissed henry before you ever kissed me and coop just laughs like well!!

and paige is laughing too but there’s this undercurrent of you still haven’t kissed me :/ and coop’s like i take it henry told you and paige is like yep. and then made a very convincing campaign in your favor on how you’re evidently in love with me and you’re probably my better option, he loves me, too, but just can’t seem to hold a candle to you

and coop’s laughing and he’s like that sounds like something henry’d say, he’s really. he’s got a lot of love he just doesn’t seem to think he’s worth it.

and paige is like you think he’s worth it though

and coop’s like i do. you think he’s worth it too. and paige is like i do.

and there’s a moment of stillness because what the fuck are any of them doing and paige is like we can’t keep doing this. and coop’s like gonna hafta be a bit more specific there because i think i’ve broken more rules than i can count in the past 24 hours. and paige is wanna make that one more and coop’s like !? and then paige kisses him and coop’s like okay now’s the time where i would really love some clarification

and paige is like. well. i had to kiss you, right? and coop’s like sure? and paige is like because i’ve wanted to for the longest time because i keep pretending like i’m not in love with you because well you know you know me better than almost anyone else but like. i also love henry. and so i had to kiss you. as a test.

and coop’s like ...did i pass?

and paige is like that wasn’t the test and coop’s like what was and paige is like i don’t know. to see where my love is. to see if i love you or if i love henry or if it’s all just infatuation and relfections distorting how i feel and coop’s like okay. so... what’s the answer?

and paige is like i love henry. but then she kisses coop again and is like but i think i love you, too. and they’re doing that thing where they lack bubble space when they talk i mean paige’s head is basically on his chest and coop’s hands are on her waist and coop’s like okay. so where do you want to go from here.

because he’s a cupid you know his top priority is love in its purest form so if like paige’s love for henry like outweighs her love for him he will pretend not to be crushed and move on like he will. he’s saying he’ll do anything in the name of love but really he’ll just do anything for paige.

and paige is like i think you should kiss henry again and coop laughs and he’s like don’t joke about that because complete candor i totally would he is... amazing

and paige is like yeah, i know, and i’m not joking and it kind of clicks for coop like !! polyromanticism!!

anyways. paige And coop go to p3 and henry’s there and sees paige And coop and he’s like uh oh oh no because if paige chose coop like he’s happy for them he really is except he’s also kind of not because then he kind of loses paige And coop and um. that’s kind of a two hit KO. but wait!! that is not the case! what’s this??

anyways. quirky hijinks of sorts when phoebe sees that paige came home with henry and she’s like damn. my plan failed. and the next morning piper’s like i see ur plan worked and phoebe’s like yeah no need to rub it in and piper’s like ??? dude paige totally hooked up with coop last night and phoebe’s like no?? that was the other guy that was henry

and piper’s like that was definitely coop?? and phoebe’s like piper not every tall man with dark hair looks the same and piper’s like no shit do you think i don’t know what coop looks like he practically lives here and phoebe’s like yeah that’s how i know the guy paige brought home w her was Not Coop and piper’s like do you need new glasses and phoebe’s like shut up i’m right and piper’s like no ur not!!

and later that day they’re like. all brewing a potion in the attic and like while we have you here...... did you hook up with henry or coop last night and phoebe’s like because piper thought it was coop when i very clearly saw henry and piper’s like yeah phoebe hasn’t been sleeping well lately i think she’s started seeing things so go ahead prove me right and paige is just laughing like okay so i guess i gotta introduce u guys to my 2 boyfriends

[shinidamachu]

Hi Ma’am who works at Wendy’s!!!!! Can you give me your take on inukag’s almost kiss in TFA?? Not sure if you’ve covered this already :$

Hi, ma’am. Here at Wendy’s we got you!

I most definitely haven’t covered this topic yet and for two simple reasons: one, it frustrates me to no end! Like, I’m already getting riled up just thinking about it, LMAO! Two, anything I say on the subject will fall flat to the brilliance that is @dyaz-stories take on it. Her thoughts on it took the form of the amazing one-shot Opposites.

That’s right! You’re getting a fic rec as a treat, totally on the house. For those of you who haven’t read it yet (you should), this is our big, old “What If Sota Hadn’t Walked Into The Damn Bedroom?” trope, except that instead of the Epic Kiss™ Kagome actually takes time to sort her feelings out.

As we all know, this event happened after Kikyo’s final death and with that in mind, in Opposites, Kagome can’t help but think Inuyasha is only making a move on her because Kikyo is no longer around, so she feels like second best and tells him so. And I absolutely love that.

I still think that, without the interruption, they would have definitely kissed in canon. But only because throught the whole story, Kagome’s feelings are pushed aside (or not adressed at all) by the narrative when they’re not convinient. It sucks because this shit end up creating plot inconsistencies and hurting hers and Inuyasha’s character development, both as individuals and as a couple.

In my opinion, the almost kiss scene is a classic example of that. It was pretty obvious that they both wanted it. In fact, Kagome had wanted it for a while. Of course, Inuyasha was in love with her too, but even thought they acted like a married couple for most of their journey, he hadn’t been as forward about his feelings since the very first time he tried to kiss her, right at the beginning (creating one of the best Inukag paralels ever, at least in the anime):

On both occasions, Inuyasha is the one making a move. On both occasions, Inuyasha looks at her with this soft, decided, almost solemn expression. On both occasions, he gently takes her hands on his before leaning in. On both occasions, Kikyo isn’t in the equation at all. In the first “almost kiss”, because she hasn’t been ressurected yet. In the second, because she was dead. For real this time. And on both occasions, the kiss doesn’t happen.

It’s not hard for us, the audience, to recognize and understand this padron. Once Kikyo is gone, Inuyasha feels free to seek a relationship with Kagome, which clearly is what he wants to do. But with Kikyo around, comes duty. And guilt. How can he allow himself to be happy when Kikyo is miserable out there? How can he turn his back on her after everything they went trought? He feels responsable, even though he isn’t.

Kagome, God bless her (canonically) large ass soul, doesn’t fully understand that. She tries. We can all agree that she tries. But her jealousy gets the best of her and clouds her judgement. To make matters worse, Inuyasha is far from helpful whenever it comes down to this issue.

Ironically (or not), when he tried to kiss her for the first time, she was just calling him out for not looking her in the eye since the day before, assuming it’s because she looks like Kikyo and that’s why he hates her, to which Inuyasha replies that it’s nothing like that.

What I’m trying to say is: Kagome doesn’t shy away from calling Inuyasha out on his bullshit, especially if it’s Kikyo related. On the contrary, she has been pretty vocal about it through the whole story. To me, the TFA almost kiss should have been one of those occasions because I think it would be more in character for her (again, read Opposites and tell me I’m wrong) and more consistent with the bagage she now has, courtesy of the insecurity the love triangle caused.

From Kagome’s perspective, I feel like she had every right to question Inuyasha’s motivations. How could she not, when he went from 0 to 100 with no further explanation? She was by his side the whole time and... nothing. Now, all of a sudden, he wants to kiss her? Sure, another canon kiss would have been amazing! But Kagome (and the audience), deserved to hear from Inuyasha’s lips that she was not a consolation prize, that she was not the second best.

Because, yes, she has been his first choice all along. Inuyasha told that to us time and time again through his actions, and as meaningful as it all was, using words to show his true feelings is a very important thing to his character development and we only got that when he made his “Kagome was born for me” speech, but Kagome herself never heard it (which... you know... it’s a war crime).

So we could have an epic kiss. We could have a honest conversation that would set things right between them. We could have both! Or we could have Sota interrupting them for the sake of comedy.

Guess what happened.

[djemsostylist]

Djem's Legion Thoughts

About three years ago my brother joking suggested I read the Horus Heresy, knowing literally nothing about Warhammer. (Literally nothing. I just thought Space Marines were big dudes in armor and I had never heard of Primarchs and I still know nothing of 40k. Have no idea how the Heresy ends--I'm spoiler free babes.) Anyway, what follows are my feelings on each Legion at the following times:

As of midway through Fulgrim

At the end of First Heretic

At the start of the Master of Mankind

Halfway through the Siege

This is very long. I'm not sorry.

Dark Angels

idk I haven’t met them yet, but their name tells me they are either going to be amazing or fucking awful

Um I still dk

God I fucking love these stupid idiots. Like, they are stupid, for sure, but I dunno, I dig their bizarre sort of pseudosecrecy thing. Plus, aesthetically I’m all about weird monk orders. Also, nothing kills me quite like Farith Redloss having anxiety attacks over trying to figure out Lion.

Corswain showing up like the living embodiment of the dude with the pizza where the apartment is on fire is just so deeply on brand for these chucklefucks like, Lion is all “I’m deeply uncomfortable where Imperial Secundus is concerned so instead I’ll just go ahead and attack home planets because that will demoralize the traitors and then I’m Doing My Part” like fam, pretty much all the traitors sans Perturabo are actual literal demons rn and they all had zero qualms betraying their immediate brothers and also the emperor (and Perturabo already fucked over his own) why in the livid fuck would you think this is in any way helpful, but this is Classic Lion and I love him now on account of that one time when he hugged Roboute because he was proud of him and also because he calls all of his sons “Little Brother” bc he is afraid of being a dad and also because I too am deeply avoidant of issues I don’t want to deal with.

Emperor's Children

mostly wonderful, because they are fabulous and also extremely extra, but they have the most ginourmous fuckwad as a Lord Commander, BUT they have a very good boy as another one, so idk really. Plus the whole betrayal thing and the fucking lodges, but they are purple and fabulous, so, +1?

These are the saddest boys ever in the whole world, and they didn’t deserve what happened to them. I loved them all except for Eidolon and they didn’t deserve anything bad to happen to them ever bc they were precious and I loved them. Also Fabius because he was bugnuts and he hurt my boys.

Jesus, I’m so fucking over them all

Honestly I’m so tired

Iron Warriors

I totally confused them with the Iron Hands. Idk even, boring? But Perturabo (while he has a fucking terrible name) also hates Horus so +15

I still know nothing about them, but I think they are buttholes because of the whole Isstvan V thing. Dick move guys, dick move.

I literally can’t. Like, their entire shtick is besieging and being besieged, and then being pissy bc it is what they are good at???? Like, they are literally traitoring bc their dad got a hair up his ass bc he wasn’t a good independent thinker and didn’t think he was allowed to build castles or whatever? Idk they are exhausting except for the ones that aren’t

I still don’t really get them at all except like 99% of them who aren’t named Barabas Dantioch are asshats and are not independent thinkers who are literally still traitoring for reasons unknown except to stick it to the emperor like?? Get an actual culture??? Just literally stop???

White Scars

I dunno, haven’t met them, but since no one else talks about them, I’m gonna guess, boring?

I dunno but they are worried about them hooking up with the Rout so I guess they are cool?

Oh bless your tiny little souls. They are so sweet, and so, so dumb. But sweet.

They are very, very good boys. They don’t have a ton of range per say but their simplicity is sort of the point I think. They are what space marines are supposed to be, and I love them for that

Space Wolves

ehm, oh, I’m sorry, The Rout. Whateverthefuck, they’re boring, over-the-top fuckheads who are giant fucking hypocrites who suck and probably don’t ever shower. Honestly, they rival the Emperor’s Children in extraness, and not in the loveable way. Fucking awful, 0/10.

Okay, honestly, not as awful as some. I mean, hella extra and I hate what they did at Prospero, but in a world full of awful things, we gotta pick and choose.

They are just so, so...Space Wolfy. Bless them they try, and some of them legit crack me up. I’m just not about their aesthetic, you know?

Much like the other fuckups amongst the Loyalists, they are a blunt instrument used for a specific purpose and do better with like...direct instruction. I’m saying they are not the kind to do well with metaphor and also a lack of like, a dad. They need TE:BBA is what I’m saying.

Imperial Fists

Literally only met them briefly, but they seem a good sort. I like their Primarch? -3 tho cause damn that color scheme.

Still good boys.

Omg I love you all, you precious little bbs. They are just so calm and stoic and honestly even though yellow is a hideous color they are literally like Templars and that is fantastic?????

Listen, the amount of love that I have in my heart for these precious, perfect boys is rivaled only by my love for Rogal Dorn, who might possibly be, and I don’t wanna sound dramatic here, be the love of my life but anyway.

Night Lords

idk but their name sounds sick.

Right, these guys are also dicks. I hate them on principle.

Every time I think of them all I can think of is that one video of the goths dancing under the bridge. They are so. Fucking. Extra. Christ alive, get a hobby that isn’t fucking skinning people.

Yeah idk they still mostly suck and to be perfectly honest I’m still not entirely sure what their point was, even pre-heresy? Like what role did psychopaths play in TE:BBA’s plan for a glorious human empire, someone explain

Blood Angels

I dunno cause I’ve only ever met their First Captain (who was consorting with fuckheads) but Sanguinius is literally Top Tier Fabulous, like Prince Extra, so I hope they don’t let me down

I’m still holding out hope. Don’t let me down boys.

OH. MY. GOD. Honestly, kill me, I love them so, so, so, so, so much, it’s a lot. And I suspect something terrible will happen with them but I don’t care because they are perfect. All of them. Wonderful, perfect, lovely, caring boys who love their dad and I love them. Sweet, loving, precious little bbs who occasionally suffer from tragic vampiric tendencies but I don’t love them any less. They better stay perfect forever. If I could, I would be like Sangy and just take them all everywhere with me so that they could always be safe <3 On a less gushy note, I think one of the most important aspects of the Blood Angels (and of their primarch) is that while they acknowledge their differences from unmodified humans, they also love humanity, deeply. They see them as worth fighting for and protecting, and acknowledge that their abilities allow them to create a universe that is safe for the common man to live in. There is a sort of profound love and tenderness that they have for humanity, and I think it really does make a difference in their legion. (That scene is Master of Mankind with the Blood Angel and the Custodian really highlights what I’m saying here.)

Listen, this may sound dramatic, and I don’t wanna like, go over the top, but I would literally die for them, which would seem counterproductive since that is what they do for humanity but the amount of love of I have for this entire legion and one Angel is too big to contain in my heart okay

Iron Hands

I don’t know them well yet, but they seem like good boys overall. I’m sure one of them is bound to be a crazy fucker tho.

They are good boys. I don’t know them very well, but my favorite moment is when Ferrus had to thank Lorgar for his help so he made him a crozius and then threw it at him because he didn’t want to have to talk awkwardly.

Poor sad bbs

No, but really, poor sad bbs

World Eaters

literally terrible people, but I guess when your Dad is bugnuts….

Definitely should have been put down. As in to death. They should have been killed. Probably.

Still fucking crazy. But I love Kharn, and honestly Lotara (who I know isn’t technically a World Eater but close enough.)

No but they probably should have all been just euthanized? I mean not Kharn bc I love him but also like--they are not viable. Long term? Tbh still not entirely sure what TE:BBA’s plan was here with them and Angron (I’m gonna assume something along the lines of ignore it and hope it goes away, since that is mostly his plan for everything)

Ultramarines

probably enormous squares, but tbh in a galaxy with World Eaters and the Rout, we could do with some squares.

Honestly, I have no issues with them. They do their duty, they are loyal. I hope to love them though. They actually believe in colors.

HOLY FUCK DO I LOVE THEM. ALL 200,000 OF THEM. (Which is probably what Roboute thinks tbh.) Like, I literally haven’t met a single one that I don’t adore and love with my whole soul and entire being. They are precious, soft, beautiful bbs who I adore with my whole heart. And who will make great leaders of the world someday I’m so proud. On a less gushy note, much like the Blood Angels, the Ultramarines really have a sort of profound feeling of protection and duty towards humans. They may not always like dealing with them, but Roboute is of the firm belief that they must understand what they are truly fighting for. Saving humanity is not enough, you have to fight for the humans who live there. (See, the one short story where they find a baby and I died.)

No but what you don’t quite get is that I literally love them. Every single individual solitary one of them, and while some may say “But Djem such a thing is impossible you haven’t met every Ultramarine” I need you to understand that the depth of my love for them and their Primarch is such that I know, in my bones, that I don’t need to meet them all to love them okay bc I already do.

Death Guard

Okay, so honestly I wanted to hate them (because BETRAYAL) but tbh its only the First and Second Captains who suck a lot and idk really the rest are sort of tragically precious??

Seriously, what is Mortarion’s issue?

No, seriously, what the fuck is their problem? Get the fuck over it.

Okay, I do feel bad. For Mortarian. Of all the traitors, him I understand the most. However, that being said, while I can understand his issues, I feel like giving yourself over to demons, turning into actual demons, and also turning on and killing your brothers who refused to become said demons makes you terrible awful people who really need to like, die.

Thousand Sons

okay, I fucking love these lame Warrior Monk Priest Wizards who live in a literal glass city with restaurants and teach random people Tai Chi in the park or whatever. Overall 10/10

I am v. worried that they are going to do something dumb like join the rebellion in order to affect change from the inside and then like, adopt demons or something. Pls don’t be dumb boys.

I don’t even fucking--look, I’m just tired okay?

What the fuck Azhek. No seriously, ⅞ is good enough? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Sons of Horus? Luna Wolves? who the fuck knows

my precious sons. You did not deserve what was done to you. This is why we don’t do frats. I believed in you and you failed me. D:

I love my precious sons. The Sons of Horus however, can go die.

I just--why are you the way you are?

I think the best thing about these absolute morons is that half the legion isn’t even demon fuckers, they just woke up one day and Horus told them to kill their brothers and they went “sure okay” and then just did. They are so fucking pretentious and stupid, fucking speartip, honestly die. I take it back. You all deserved exactly what you got, you dumb fucks.

Word Bearers

look, I haven’t met the rest of these dudes yet, but Erebus is a terrible fucking ambassador. -60/10 for not controlling their boy

HOLY LORD. I cannot--there are not actually words to describe how much I loathe these ignorant dumbasses. Like, seriously. Honestly, the ones who were purged were probably lucky, because the rest of them fucking suck.

God, eat a fucking landmine. Except, that would probably turn them on or something. Fucking assholes.

Just--imagine being such a fuckup that even when you were the first to the “become a demon, save the world” thing you still somehow ended up last. I hope the Ultramarines put down every. Single. One.

Salamanders

idk but this name is dumb. Salamanders are cute and slimy, and while Astartes are fucking adorable, they are not slimy. -1 for the dumb name

They are loyal, which is cool, and they seem like chill bros.

I just, like, they are sweet, but good lord are they simple.

I’m not sure? What they are doing? With their lives? Guys, idk if anyone told you but like, um. There is a war. And I get they’ve had it rough but also the loyalists could use their hope so maybe, idk. Do something? I mean I know there are like, 50 of you left and also you think your dad is dad and I feel you but like-

Raven Guard

idk but I like Ravens and Black, plus their Primarch’s name is Corvus? 11/10 they better not suck.

OMG I love Corvus?? Flies with a giant jetpack and tried to gut Lorgar? Yeah, he’s wonderful. Plus, their Captain seemed cool before he was fucking murdered.

I love them all, bless. They are sweet and simple and kind of stupid, but they make me feel things in my heart, so like, idk, stay precious.

Look, I cried over Branne fucking Nev, I don’t wanna talk about it rn

Alpha Legion

seriously? Lame.

Fuck these guys. What is their deal?

I can’t even really. I really, truly can’t. Nothing has ever satisfied me the way I was satisfied when Alpharius literally lost his head. God, that was beautiful.

Or Omegon? It was actually Omegon? I don’t even know anymore man

[imgoingtocrash]

Made of Iron, Born of Fire: The Fanmix 

by @imgoingtocrash

Listen on Spotify and 8tracks

Read the series on Ao3

AKA: A labor of love for @savvysass’s birthday!!!!

What can I say that hasn’t already been said because we’re both incredibly sappy people in our Author’s Notes? Writing this series with you has brought me so much joy in the last two years, and I never could have hit over 100k words without you. Here’s to whatever we write next in the series...and all of the WIPs we’re working on right now...and only god knows what’s next for us personally and professionally...and most importantly, to you on your Birthday. Thank you for being such a good friend, in both fandom and outside of it. I’m so, so thankful to know you and love you. 🥰

Director’s Cut Below, because we all know I love talking about this series, and yes, that does extend to why I picked these songs. (And also maybe because these song choices only make sense in my brain and hopefully Savannah’s?? Who knows! Feel free to ask questions if you want but let’s be honest this series and fanmix are most importantly for us, because we love the series so dang much.)

My Wildest Dreams by Ron Pope

I spoke in riddles and in rhymes, but my time with you has taught me to simplify, you’re not quite what I pictured you would be, you’re better than my wildest dreams.

We’ve talked about this one before, and I’LL TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!! Ron Pope is so good imo, and this song wowowow the father-child feels, but especially with Tony and newborn Peter a la A Foreign Feeling and A First Time For Everything.

Big & Scared by Raleigh Ritchie

I want to be better for you, let me do that now, you’re my favorite human, so you should be prepared, I’ll help you get through it, when you’re big and scared

We’ve mentioned Tony’s thoughts about legacy multiple times by now, and I think this song really represents Tony looking forward to the person Peter could be become and that “breaking the cycle” mentality of supporting Peter even when he’s not a perfect father.

Legacy of Sadness by Ron Pope

irrational as it may seem I guess I’m sorry, even though I know that none of it’s my fault, it is easier for me to count my blessings, than to cry for every single thing we’ve lost

I have 0 shame putting these two songs by Ron Pope almost back to back because they’re the opening and closing of an album dedicated to his child like...it’s so perfect for Tony and this theme of reflection on who he is and who Peter will become/is becoming and all that entails.

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential, and my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that

I wrote something...very sad but also soft recently??? and this is for That it’s about pre-CW Pepperony being separated and the road to them trying to come back together including Tony working on himself and I love it!!! It hurts really good!!! This whole song is perfect for it and I can’t wait until people get to read it.

Be Good When I’m Gone by Four Year Strong

I'm sorry I can't stop to listen, but I've got so much to do and I've got some place to be, the house looks like the aftermath of a hurricane, I hope it stays that way

Tony being a busy parent but doing his best to make time for Peter in his life and making that time count has been something super important to illustrate to us, especially the transition from being a CEO to being a superhero and how that changes how Peter sees Tony’s absence over time.

I Won’t Back Down by Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, and Penny and Sparrow

Tony puts on the original version by Tom Petty in Home Is Where The Heart Is, but I think this cover has a very slow, emotional undertone that’s really great too. The interludes, if you didn’t catch it, have all been featured in a fic previously.

Let It Matter by Johnnyswim

So if it matters let it matter, if your heart's breaking let it ache, catch those pieces as they scatter, know your hurt is not in vain

Pepper in Never Tell Me The Odds ALL DAYYYYY. She’s the emotional rock of that fic (and of our Ironfam TBH) and it’s all because she allows herself to feel her feelings and encourages the Stark boys to do so as well.

Simmer - Acoustic by Hayley Williams

And if my child, needed protection, from a fucker like that man, I’d sooner gut him, cause nothing cuts like a mother

Post-Home Is Where The Heart Is...y’all know Pepper’s not that mad about what happened to Obie. Also just Pepper when someone hurts her family?? I always write it as her sort of putting all of her emotion into something she can control and doing it well, so, this song is all about that.

Tightrope by Nia Hendricks

one step after another, keep holding on to each other, don’t look back, move on and let go, that’s how you walk on a tightrope

Pepperony trying to navigate their relationship and the insanity of superhero stuff and also co-parenting. It’s all excellent, I love them so much, I enjoy writing it so much!!!!

Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

Never got the chance, to say a last goodbye, I gotta move on, but it hurts to try, how do I love, how do I love again?

This song is tilted towards romance, but if you’ll remember, we’re a Pro-Tony Survives Endgame AU series, so it’s not about THAT...but well...Infinity War sure will hit something fierce for certain non-romantic relationships in this series, huh?

The Bones by Maren Morris

Call it dumb luck, but baby, you and I, can't even mess it up, although we both try, no, it don't always go the way we planned it, but the wolves came and went and we're still standing

Post-Endgame Ironfam!!! Tony and Pepper married with their kids, their family and HAPPY...THIS IS WHY WE DO ALL OF THE ANGST...FOR A FAMILY...WE LOVE THEM

Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas

Considered Pepper and Peter’s ‘song’, as it’s referenced multiple times in the series, and was one of the bigger solidifying moments of their mother-son relationship as a whole.

Mundane by Hardcastle

And I’ve been sinking into silence, dwelling on my thoughts, and in these months, I haven’t felt that most conversations have left me anything but blue

Peter’s selective mutism was something very special to us when we originally had the idea, and making sure we talk about it and utilize it in the right way is something we’re still working on, particularly with the Therapy Fic we’re brainstorming atm.

survivin’ (One Eyed Jack’s Session) by Bastille

What can I say? I'm survivin', crawling out these sheets to see another day, what can I say? I'm survivin', and I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine, I think I'll be fine

Spoiler Alert: Peter’s not fine, like, a decent amount of the time. But he’s sure trying, and we love him for that.

Jacob from the Bible by Jake Wesley Rogers

Mama, don't worry, it took me years, to say I'm sorry, to see your tears, Mama, forgive me, I grew up too fast, but it's not on you, it's in the past

Mostly part of Peter growing up to become a hero and realizing what his parents--particularly Pepper--have gone through for him to become the person he is today, but that sometimes he still doesn’t feel like he’s making them proud enough.

Compassion Is a German Word by To Kill A King

Don't be so arrogant, you ain't no different to anyone I've met, we're all the heroes in our own film, or maybe the villain in someone else's

Spider-Man being an excellent superhero boi!!! Being kind and good!!! We love it!! Also, I put a TKAK song on...a LOT of my playlists, because I think they’re great.

brutal by Olivia Rodrigo

And I'm so sick of seventeen, where's my fucking teenage dream?, if someone tells me one more time, "Enjoy your youth", I'm gonna cry

I mean...this song is such a Teenage Mood...I had to do it...

In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning by Frank Sinatra

So, I had this cute little scene in my head that went with this song for SO LONG but there wasn’t really anything for it to fit into so...yeah that’s part 2 of Savannah’s Birthday Gift, a little soft Baby Peter drabble. Fluffy Goop from top to bottom. That can be read here.

Home by Phillip Phillips

Just know you're not alone, 'Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

...I know it’s not original, okay? It’s found family, it’s great, I don’t care!

Comes and Goes (In Waves) by Greg Laswell

And this part was for her, and this part was for her, this part was for her, does she remember?

This song is good family angst in general BUT these specific lyrics made me think of Mary and that they never forget her in their lives despite the other stuff going on (because we refuse to let them).

I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh Hellos

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them, the promises I've made, I continue to break them, and all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them, but nothing is a waste if you learn from it

No one in the Ironfam is perfect, but they all do their best to try and grow even when they’re scared they’ll never be able to. The ups and downs are all par for the course of this series to us.

Easy Days - Demo by Bastille

Cause I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days, everything was so simple then, little fires burned away

Strife is a part of life, and the family in this fic growing through their loss and struggles and moving ahead as a unit to get to a better place is super central to making the fic what it is...but it’s easy for them to remember the old days before being superheroes and wishing it was simple again.

North by Sleeping At Last

Let the years we’re here be kind, be kind, let our hearts like doors open wide, open wide, settle our bones like wood over time, over time, give us bread, give us salt, give us wine

The way Tony went from feeling so alone to having an entire built family that’s so full of love and everything he never dreamed of...*screams into my pillow* I love this series so much thank you and good night!!!

[thebrisingamen]

Love Interests of the MCU

Bout to write some criticism of the MCU, if you don’t like, don’t read? Or do, I’m a poster not a cop. Click to read more, if you’re interested. Also, spoilers.

A problem in the MCU, to be honest. We’ll get into this here and you’ll see what I mean.

Jane Foster, MCU: An airhead, breathy absent-minded professor astrophysicist. Ok, cool, a STEAM lady.... who is constantly a damsel in distress in both movies and really adds nothing to Thor’s mythos or character. In fact, Erik Selvig is a more important character being set up in Thor to be a pawn of Loki’s for Avengers. Darcy Lewis is a more interesting character AND SHE’S SIDE CHARACTER AS WELL. (For those following MCU: SHE IS IN WANDAVISION for crying out loud)

And both Selvig and Darcy have less screen time than Jane. I don’t blame the actress, because I think Natalie Portman is very talented. But that role can only give you so much to work with when your entire personality is ‘I’m an astrophysicist and absent-minded professor trope.’ That’s it? That’s all Jane Foster is? ‘Cause that’s all I ever got from her.

Seriously you’re going to waste Natalie Portman on such a shallow role?

VS

Comics Jane Foster: A well-trained EMT (Or Nurse, but still) who immediately runs toward danger to help people, is a damsel out of distress trope, doesn’t take crap from men, is a fan of cricket, regularly also fought with Thor’s enemies (as in comics Thor was not originally god-Thor but Donald Blake, who was worthy enough to use Thor’s hammer). Was not afraid to sass or stand up to heroes (or villains!) who harassed her after she found out Thor’s identity. Hmmm...

Christine Palmer, MCU: A surgeon at the same place Strange works at! Who likes him, because they work together! Totally not afraid to stand up to him even though lots of people already call him out on his arrogance and egomania. Dated in the past but somehow together again, and has no personality beyond ‘surgeon’ and ‘ex-girlfriend who gives speech to remind ex that life is about [insert moral here]’

WOW. SO INTERESTING. I TOTALLY REMEMBERED THAT SHE EXISTED

Also what a waste of Rachel McAdams talents. I mean she got THIRD BILLING AND SHE’S BARELY IN THE FUCKING MOVIE.

VS

Clea, Comics: Princess of the Dark Dimension and Niece of Dormammu and ALSO DR. STRANGE’S IN-COMICS WIFE. She’s so well known as his love interest that at first I thought that’s what they were going to go for in his movie, esp with Rachel McAdams as the Third Billed ACTOR. But yeah, Clea, traditional love interest, super magically potent, likes earth, hates her evil uncle, just wants to learn more magic and live with Strange.

BUT NO HOW COULD WE POSSIBLY HAVE A FEMALE CHARACTER WITH ACTUAL POWERS. IT TAKES US UNTIL FUCKING AGE OF ULTRON TO GET WANDA, THOR 3 TO GET VALKYRIE AND YEARS (FUCKING YEARS) TO GET CAPTAIN MARVEL

Not that the others did not take years, but Carol only showed up RIGHT around the time Christianized Wonder Woman showed up in Snyderverse...

Clea’s comics personality isn’t that different from any of these other characters, but honestly, the MCU could’ve done a lot with her and used a character far more well connected to Strange in his own fucking movie.

Nakia: Again, an ex-girlfriend who used to work for T’Challa but couldn’t due to [insert morality speech here] and now, suddenly, they are back together! Because T’Challa is doing things! Wonder what comics Nakia is like...

OH YIKES OK MOVIE IMPROVED HER, THEY IMPROVED HER SO MUCH. (Comics Nakia: 16 year old obsessive/possessive supervillain and yeeeeaaah that’s just....No. Big ol’ NOPE). Still I forget she exists. Tbh I’d forget Okoye exists either if she wasn’t HAVING MORE SCREEN TIME THAN THE LOVE INTEREST.

I’m starting to notice a trend here...

VS

Monica Lynne, Comics: A more major love interest for Black Panther and more tied to his mythos. Arguably his most used Love Interest that isn’t Storm who is legally not allowed to be in the MCU anyway so she is unavailable for BP, which is a fucking shame. Personality wise, not much different, but Lynne isn’t as tied to Wakanda as any of the others.

Honestly I don’t know all that much about Black Panther so if anyone else does and wants to weigh in on a better love interest choice (THAT IS NOT STORM), please tag me.

Further, though, Monica could have given a deeper view into the complex experience of being a successful black woman in America to contrast with Erik’s storyline and have T’Challa hear more than just one singular experience.

But that’s just a hot take on my part.

Pepper Potts:

There’s no VS here because Virginia “Pepper” Potts is arguably the absolute closest MCU came to matching up with her comics counterpart. Fiery, intelligent, doesn’t take Tony’s shit and calls him on it, doesn’t take anyone’s shit toward her. She’s a bit more tame in the MCU and wildly OOC in Iron Man 3 so I don’t count that movie as canon, but honest to god, there’s nothing bad to say here about her character adaptation. A good job was done.

Hope Van Dyne: Again, a very good adaptation; most likely taking different characters together so because her comics counterparts are two separate entities, Hope has to be judged solely on her movie version. Her and Scott have good chemistry, she’s a good character in her own right. Only suffers from the trope of ‘Defrosting Ice Queen’ which you can tell because her hair and makeup get less severe as she ‘defrosts’

Better in the first movie than the second, where even though HER NAME WAS IN THE TITLE AS ‘THE WASP’ she was barely in it and sidelined by all the villains and side characters. For those interested, theories believe she is pulled from Nadia Pym (616 verse) and Hope Pym (982 verse)

Sif: Thor’s other in-comics and in-myth love interest/sometimes wife, absolutely side-lined, never given more than a few lines in any movie and despite having a supposedly epic backstory, we never see it. No one questions what the FUCK happened to Sif in Thor 3 because she has mysteriously vanished with Thor giving 0 fucks about where his remaining childhood friend went since she is the only one NOT KILLED OFF UNCEREMONIOUSLY (A different rant for a different problem)

So what’s there to say but why even include her as part of a love triangle if her absence is so unnotable that no one cares what happens to her

Gamora: Again, I’m not as familiar with her character, but like Pepper she seems to be a good adaptation, if made less of an anti-hero/villain in the MCU and given a bit of a softer side. Her romance with Star-Lord/Peter Quill is weak, however. Might be because of the actors but I don’t really see it? She has more emotional moments with her sister than ANYONE ELSE (Up until Infinity War with Quill and Thanos meeting)

The main problem we are running into, however, is look at this list. Look at how many female characters who are the love interest are demoted to be SOLELY THAT ROLE.

Please discern the difference for me, IN PERSONALITY between Christine Palmer and Jane Foster. Because aside from their professions, I don’t see any, do you? The fact that a good chunk of female characters in the MCU are the Love Interest and solely the love interest is....bad

It’s bad. It’s poor writing and it has consistently been done to more female characters than male. I just don’t see why the writers can’t do this basic thing.

1. Create/Adapt Character A as a full, three dimensional character

2. Create/Adapt Character B as a full, three dimensional character

3. Put A and B together romantically if they click

DONE. SIMPLE. EASY.

Also

4. Do not erase character personalities but remember what made them a good romantic pairing in the first place.

[polandspringz]

Can you tell us something about the villain turned side character and your protagonist:0

First, thank you for sending an ask! I've been wanting to share stuff from my original work for so long, but there's a lot of context since the story is so big so for context to these characters I'll give a very brief overview. (If someone wants a more detailed version I'll give it!)

It's a fantasy story set mainly in the kingdom/country of Ruyzex that was founded only within the last thirty years or so, and the stories those who witnessed it's liberation say that it was led by one man who lead the "war campaign" but negotiated without anyone having to fight a single battle. This man was supposedly blessed with magical abilities and many of the people who knew he view him as God, but one day he became a nomad and abandoned everyone, including his son, who always resented him. As such, people believe a fight between the son is to blame for their "God's" departure.

The story ACTUALLY follows three women who are "amnesiac heroes", who wake up with no memory beyond the horrible conditions they are found in as victims of trafficking, before they are rescued. Each of these women have magical powers like the God who left, and while they do not know how to use them, many people believe that they are their God returned or at least can be turned into him or replace him... or be brainwashed into replacing someone else who was lost.

My protagonist is a young woman named Dreil Ruyzex, who not knowing her own name took the name of her "home" (the town and country she was rescued in). She wakes up with her first memory being bloodshed, finding her kidnappers murdered beyond recognition around her and is terrified. She is rescued by a mysterious man who brings her to someone named Seio, who is the son of the governor of the southern most city, and lives in a house for people who were rescued and displaced and brought to Ruyzex through trafficking. While gaining her bearings there and becoming close with the other victims, Dreil awakens her powers due to several stressful events, and she is terrified, because she realizes that she had been the one to transform into a blind rage and eviscerate her captors, but she also has the power to heal people. Dreil doesn't particularly want to use her powers because she's scared of losing it and hurting everyone she loves, and Seio tells her to keep it a secret anyway, lest the people who come and visit the town discover her powers and suspect she is "like Ruy". However, Dreil ends up having to use them and learn how to use them when the city gets raided by people who kill two of the children she was living with and kidnap one of her new friends, Mierre. Seio and the other characters want to get Mierre back, and while they've traced the possible route she was taken, they also decide it's time to confront the Queen on this matter to crackdown on the traffickers who should have been outlawed back when the kingdom was established. Dreil forces them to bring her along, insisting she would be useful as a healer, and as they journey from the south to the northern point of the country, she has to battle bandits, cults, actual demons, and eventually soldiers from the castle as she learns the history of the land she has found herself in and joins resistance efforts to uncover the corruption within the mysterious capital.

Again, I'm being VERY VERY brief and vague because there's so much so apologies if it sounds cliche/not super interesting right now. Dreil as a protagonist starts off as an amnesiac but very quickly she does remember things, like her homeland, but the place she is from is actually such a mysterious region itself. Because of her appearance, she has similar features to the God who left, Ruy, which adds to the fanatic people in the city wanting to try and "shape" her into a new Ruy, or viewing her as a gift sent by him to them. One of the original ideas that shaped this story was when I was in middle school I was reading a lot of dystopian fiction (although this isn't a dystopian society really, although we are fighting the government at one point it's not how you think, they're not the "evil" in the story), and I thought about what if there was a story where the main girl didn't really want to go on the journey that she was being called to, since normally in dystopian works something big happens or is lost and the protagonist is all "I must instantly seek my revenge." This idea has been changed quite a bit in my work, but when Dreil lives peacefully in the city for a complete year before the raid happens, and during that time she helps rescue two children from traffickers in a neighboring town- waking up one day and sensing the gaze of someone staring at her from miles away. Although they're not much younger than her (Dreil is around 19-20, the "children" are actually teenagers) they help each other heal and develop a life together.

This goes into how characters changed and have been shaped across many years of working on this story actually. Many of my characters started off as villains or had more secretive goals and beyond Dreil originally were more gray than pure good. Seio is the deuteragonist and his goal is to rescue Mierre, but Dreil doesn't have a goal. The people she would rescue are dead, so what should she do? And now everyone she knows in the house she has lived in are leaving on a journey, and leaving her behind. In early versions of the story, the children did live and were captured, and Seio wanted Dreil to come along on the journey by telling her things like "maybe we can find them!" and not really tricking her but he was sort of working with the main enemy in needing her to come with him to the capital, therefore he tried to use the children as persuasion. In the more recent drafts of the story, Seio leaves Dreil behind, and due to him being distracted and angry at what has happened to his home he does not help much when Dreil is grieving. However, a conversation with someone else convinces Dreil to run after them and force them to take her along on the journey, citing she wants not necessarily revenge on those who took from her, but wants to help end the pain the traffickers have caused once and for all (and she doesn't want to be alone).

Now if I'm going to talk about my "villain turned side character" I have to get into the whole angels and demons thing I brushed over earlier, HAHA.

It does seem very "edgy middle school OC" to have angels and demons in a story, but I grew up reading a lot of Christian fantasy stories so this is where my writing stems from. Although I don't view my story as falling into this category, I've taken a lot of influence from them and the things I wish they did in those stories. For example, one of the things that always annoyed me was the Jesus-figure in those stories was always the obvious "King" who was a mysterious man who appeared like right before the big battle where you knew he was gonna die in the fight and then come back to life because he's the Jesus metaphor and that's it. He's never a main character or one with any real depth or character, so I wanted to change that. Hence, there's a WHOLE CAN OF WORMS surrounding what I can get into about my decisions when creating Ruy, but we're not here to talk about him right now, were here to talk about one of his friends, an angel named Orielle.

In original versions of the story, Dreil and Seio and her friends had to journey to the capital of the country and rescue their friend who had been taken and battle their way through several people at the ruins of the castle. Orielle was this figure who appeared every time there was a turn in their journey, taunting them, leaving them clues to get to the castle. He appeared in the fires of the raid, he appeared in the woods and challenged Dreil to a fight where she would have to use her murderous, uncontrollable power, he stood at the top of the castle before the final battle and revealed three "weapons" he had been making, several characters who were like Dreil in that they were blessed with powers but had been kidnapped and shaped into fighting for the wrong side. Orielle existed because I needed a villain and was still working things out. He was older originally, more middle aged and spoke in a booming deep voice and always looked down with his eyes narrowed as if passing judgement. But then as time went on I created more characters and the plot points filled themselves out (there was more than just the ending battle thought up) Orielle wasn't really needed anymore because a new villain had replaced him, but to be honest I still liked his name, so I just changed who he was.

Besides Ruy, who is the "God" figure in the story and his powers are for certain established to be from some higher power that he might well be (he's also an amnesiac hero as well, when you learn about him), and Dreil and the other two protagonists, whose powers are also from the same "good" source as Ruy (but for all intents and purposes we won't say it's "heavenly" or "celestial" in it's source), there are angels and demons. Angels are different than Ruy and Dreil, and Ruy and Dreil were people who when they were created their bodies always had power within them. They have one soul, and it is the one that is able to wield their power. Angels however are created more like vessels. There were certain people in the world who were made so their bodies could withstand the use of power beyond human means, so when on one fateful chaotic day (around 14 years before the start of the story, called "the Fall of Smokeflake") the souls or spirits of the angels descended and joined with the souls of their vessels, thus now these people had angelic power they could wield, and knowledge of the mission they must do, and knowledge of the past, present, and future. They do not have access to ALL of this information, as the souls are not fully one but they act as one when talking, although sometimes in the story there are points where a character must note that the "human" or the "angel" is speaking to them more and that might be unreliable. The angels know that if their vessels knew too much it would break them, especially if the future involves a massive battle where everyone is slaughtered at the end of the journey.

So, BACK TO ORIELLE. He has become an angel, really an archangel, and appears in the story mainly through the journals left behind by Ruy, which contain the history of Ruyzex and Dreil reads along her journey to understand her own power and the mysterious man that is like her. Orielle is Ruy's guidance, as he descends early in his true spiritual form to save his God from a landslide, but Ruy rejects him and sends him away because he doesn't understand what is going on. Orielle later becomes Ruy's only ally when Ruy is locked underground for three years and Orielle stays there, still not connected with his human vessel (because his vessel was not born yet), keeping Ruy alive and sane by putting him in a stasis-like sleep and giving him dreams and memories of the war that angels and demons fought, helping to clear up his confusion and his purpose in the human world, and who Ruy is going to meet. Years later, during the main story, Orielle is in the body of his vessel, a prince born to the kingdom to the north, Meltiux, who is campaigning for his right to the throne as it is a country of matriarchs, and for some reason the two princesses of Meltiux have been missing/no one remembers them...? Orielle is met at various points throughout the main story as he is visiting in Ruyzex and the Empire of Ker, Ruyzex's neighbor to the west, not only trying to build up his diplomatic relations and make himself "worthy" of the throne but also trying to meet up with the heroes and help them along the way. Of the seven angels, he is one of three who have actually met Ruy personally, which makes him very high ranking amongst the other angels hidden throughout the world, and because he was beside Ruy for every step of the journey and the war campaign, he is the leader in the absence of their real leader.

So, that's all I'll say for now! I apologize for the length, it was kind of impossible to explain my protagonist without going into the story somewhat. And I didn't want to just be like "she's nice, she's courageous" because I don't really view my characters in traits like that? I've just been so focused on their place in the plot that their characterization is so synonymous with the story for me that I can't really separate them, lol. Thank you for the ask! I'm willing to go into more detail in follow up posts about anything since there are WAY WAY more characters than even mentioned here.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

could you please help type me? im 22 and most everything i will mention will be recent. i am a slow learner where i need the entirety of information for anything to make sense at all. ie i didn't understand fe-fi for a year before i saw one single sentence on your blog and i heard a clicking sound in my head. before that i was on point 0 no matter what. problem is the opposite is also correct where i am convinced i know something but i read one sentence and go 'i didn't know anything at all apparently' when i read that one sentence on your blog i started studying everything from scratch.(1)

it actually gave me a weird anxiety where i genuinly shut off for a while and couldn't concentrate on anything but trying to understand the functions. the more i couldn't understand it, the more i ignored everything else. i pretty much stopped sleeping at some point. but when i decide on something somehow everything feels related to that and i'm like 'ah finally i will know some peace'. this is a very bad explanation but yeah. certain things i think genuinly feel like an attempt of me finding 'relevant things' so i can convince myself, which is why i came to you for help because at this point i have no idea, and the confusion is angering me.(2)

one of my worst qualities is scolding people, specifically for how they behave. i do this a lot where i think you have to behave a certain way in certain situations, you must. i'm trying to work on myself but i genuinly feel like certain things are just inappropriate to the point where i Must interfere, which is something everyone around me hates. i have a tendency to believe that I just know how it must be, so i explain to people how they must be acting. 'you do this which makes people feel like this, which will result in this'is a constant in my life. i also feel second hand embarassment from pretty much anything.(3)

i think my sensing function is last because it genuinly feels like i cannot see. feels kind of dissociative sometimes, like i'm not there. i am completely seperate from the outside world and to some extent, from myself. moreso environment tho. although i cannot always understand that i actually have a body. that has needs. i don't ever realize i'm cold, for example, until someone tells me my hands are freezing. even then its more a fact then me actually realizing im cold. people also ask me if i'm ok a lot because i just straigh up look like i'm not there at all. (4)

i'm completely lost on the n function, i thought i had ne because i explain things as other things a lot, so that to me was ne. i just cannot explain something without giving an example of something else that is completely irrelevant, which sounds like absolute gibberish apparently. like, feathers? protection. enneagram 3? rafiki and simba, for some fucking reason. and i honest to god wouldn't have understood ennea 3 if it wasn't for 'rafiki holding simba up is 3s inferiority complex. the zebras bowing is the superiority complex. they will do anything to avoid simba, the inferiority feelings, so they bow down, as in whatever simba says goes just so they can live. the shadow simba cannot go is their denied shame.' otherwise i cannot understand it.(5)

more things: i am a massive hoarder of things i don't want. books are the number one things tho i hoard pretty much anything. i love reading but most i read is things i dont care about. i have over 800 books and most is things i buy because i see sth and my immidiate reaction is 'some random stranger on the street will question me on this 4 years later' so i buy books. i think, 'if i do not know this, i will straight up die.' i do not interact with people unless i know for sure i can like, talk about Anything that has ever existed, ever.(6)

im prone to many identity crisises and i overthink. i also am constantly swayed from actual interests i have. i make long lists of what to read or where to go and 0 percent of it is based on what i want. it's just me thinking i don't know much history so i should visit every museum and i don't know science so i should read every book etc. i decided to learn guitar and i have barely touched it because i'm learning music theory first aswell as the entire history of rock music and i have to memorize every chord before i am allowed to touch the guitar itself. same thing happened with drawing. with violin. even when im dressing i'm like 'what if someone asks me if i know enough about this band and i dont so then i have to move countries???' so i do not wear it. i get actual stomachaces lol. (7)

i am not competitive but also feel embarassed a lot. i won't put myself forth and usually want to not be seen but i also get offended if someone is better then me, specifically in a field of my knowledge. if i meet someone who has similar interests/knowledge as me i ignore them or the topic for fear that they might know more then me. i hate change unless it is controlled. like sudden news or travel plans are a nightmare and they cause a lot of anxiety but i also am okay with changing things up if i am in complete control of how it will go. that seems to be it. thanks. (8)

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Hi anon,

So this isn’t limited to you but whenever people are like “my anxiety over typing myself has genuinely impacted my quality of life” it is something that makes me want to stop typing that person. It feels like I’m enabling a habit that is explicitly not good for them, and it shows up to an extent that is frankly alarming and I really, really hope it is exaggeration and that me saying this will shut it the fuck down in questions that I get. Based on some of the other things you’ve said, if you have not gotten assessed for anxiety you probably should have someone check that out (and if you have, I would spend time working on it and take a break from typology in the meantime), and that makes it pretty much impossible for me to type your enneagram, but I can still do MBTI although the anxiety makes it difficult to determine extroversion and introversion.

With that out of the way, probably one of the xNFJs:

Scolding people is often high Fe behavior, and especially in the way you describe it (as based in how other people will feel about the behavior). It’s difficult to assess beyond that without explanations; scolding people over something like racism is hopefully something a decent person of any type can get behind, whereas scolding people over many other things is just Fe. Based on what you said about needing to be control over changes and this idea of needing total understanding of anything before engaging with it also really does not sound in line with perceiving, which often thrives when jumping in without total preparation.

Either of the intuition functions would see things as other things and tend to engage via metaphor and theme, and the other things you mention as evidence of low sensing seem appropriate for high Ni as well.