#cause i didn't want anyone to know
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why do i have a snake for a fucking friend :/
#like i wanted to keep my promotion a tiny weenie secret yk#and this bitch finds out cause my other coworkers who got the promotion were boasting about it#so this girl is nosy af for information#like she digs for it but isn't subtle about it#anyway she knew i had the promotion so i was lying for nothing tbh#cause i didn't want anyone to know#and i expressed to the girl why i didn't tell anyone yk#SHE TURNS AROUND AND TELLS THIS OTHER GUY#AND the guy was telling me about it#and i asked where he heard that from#FROM THIS BITCH#and i messaged her asking why she told the guy#she said she thought he knew how she's sorry and how she didn't tell anyone else#well while she sent me that text she got mad at the guy and said to pretend he didn't know#like wtf
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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A Panic in Time (DP x DC)
This is all thanks to the awesome @tkiesai for basically being the foundation of this idea! This is probably going to be long, and probably won't delve that deep into my ideas about this idea. Largely so it's not insanely long. But here I go!
°•°•°•°
Bruce's head felt like it had been shoved through a straw and spit out on the other side. The throbbing was annoying, but it wasn't anything the man couldn't handle.
His mind was muddled, memories of what happened prior to him awaking was blurry and unsure. Bruce knew it wasn't something good.
He vaguely remembered a league meeting, a threat, something looming. It wasn't world ending, or at least that's what Bruce remembered. It should have been something they could handle.
But now, here was Bruce. Waking up in the grass of some random park. He was dressed in casual attire, something he'd wear in public as Bruce. Although last he remembered he was in the Batsuit.
The sun felt too bright in the sky. The sound of families filled the air and children's laughter. No one seemed to blink twice at Bruce as he pulled himself together.
It took a moment to steel himself, to gain composer again. It took a few sweet lines, and a charming smile for a nice mother to slide him a few painkillers. The lies rolling off his tongue like second nature.
To his luck there was a newspaper at the top of the trashcan. He was in some town called Amity Park, and the year... the year was the problem.
It was 1996. Whatever had happened had sent Bruce back in time. There was a few suspects Bruce can think were the cause of this. But something in his gut kept drawing his train of thought to the Flash.
It seemed like each time the League had any time related problems, Barry was in the center of it. Which also leaves Bruce with the question if he was the only one sent back in time.
God, he could only imagine the nightmare if the others were sent back in time. Yes, they can be professional. They understand the risk of changing things in the past.
But Bruce also understands that his team can be less than... intelligent at times.
Despite that, Bruce needed to find a way to get back to Gotham. He might not know for sure where everyone was right now, but he knew Alfred was the safest bet.
A plan laid out in Bruce's mind, a list of people he knew wouldn't be a risk to approach. He just needed to find a way to get to them. He had barely made it to the gates of the park before a shrill cry pierced the air.
There was just one loud outcry, before it quieted down. Bruce glance around the space, spotting a young boy curled on the ground. Tears streamed down the boy's chubby cheeks.
And no one even moved to the boy's aid. Not a single mother spared more than one glance in the kid's directions. No parents came rushing over to the boy's side.
Bruce almost walked away, he really did. This wasn't his time, anything he does can cause immense damage to the timeline. But when Bruce caught sight of blood bubbling from a scrape on the boy's knee, Bruce couldn't ignore him.
Maybe it's just the father in him, but Bruce barely even notices when he's crossing the small distance. His mind zeroing in on a hurt child that needed help. Kneeling before the small boy with a gentle smile, and pulling his handkerchief free from his pocket.
"You're alright there, buddy. It looks like you took a bit of a tumble there." Bruce slipped into the same tone he used to use when his kids were young. Gentle and understanding, as he pressed the handkerchief to the small scrape.
The boy sniffled, tears slipping from his eyes. Bruce was more focused on the way the kid was looking at him. Like he couldn't fathom someone coming to his aid.
That look had Bruce's heart breaking slightly. He's seen a similar look before. The few times he's come to the aid of a hurt child that wasn't used to getting help.
Something no child should ever feel or experience.
"Where's your parents, kiddo?" Bruce asked after a moment of silence from the boy. He had waited until the kid's breathing settled down when the boy's chest stopped pumping so quickly.
Except his question only seemed to bring a new wave of tears to the boy's eyes. The small child just seemed to curl into himself further, ducking his gaze away from Bruce.
And as much as Bruce didn't want it to be true, it was clear the kid didn't have the support he needed. It might not as be as far as some of Bruce's kids have had in the past.
But it was clearly not good.
"That's okay, it's alright. What's your name?" Bruce tried again. The boy's silence was leaving an uncomfortable pit in Bruce's stomach.
"D-Danny..." The boy spoke out his name between sniffles, and Bruce felt a wave of relief hearing the boy speak.
In hindsight, Bruce can see how strange the scene might look. A slightly disheveled man comforting a lone young boy in a park. It wasn't exactly perfect.
But with the lack of reactions from the parents around, Bruce had a feeling the town had an idea who this boy was. The whole situation just didn't feel that right for him.
It took a few more comments before Bruce managed to get the boy to crack a smile. A laugh had felt like breaking a massive wall.
Before long, Bruce had Danny actually like any other boy he's known. Carefree and happy, just like a child should be.
"You didn't tell me your name, mister." Danny had suddenly cut down the relaxed moment they were in. A pout laced the boy's lips as he looked up at Bruce, almost accusatory.
"I'm Bruce. Bruce Wayne." Bruce responded without missing a beat. He knew this might cause problems in the future. He wasn't supposed to be here.
But when his gut is telling him something, he can't just ignore it. He checked his pockets, finding no business cards anywhere. So, Bruce fell back in plan B.
"No matter how long it's been from now, you can come to me for help. Just look for Bruce Wayne in Gotham City, and when you find me... just say Fairbanks sent you."
Bruce wasn't sure if he'll ever see Danny again when he goes back to his own time. Wasn't even sure if this was the same universe as his own. But he couldn't walk away without at least offering the boy help in some way.
When Danny's eyes filled up with tears again, Bruce thought he said something wrong at first. That was until the boy was suddenly clinging to his shoulders in a tight embrace, muttering 'thank you' over and over again.
Bruce felt himself almost close to tears just from that alone. His heart was aching for the small boy. Even if Bruce couldn't help Danny anymore than this, he was hoping the boy would have a better life.
One where he wasn't clinging to a stranger for comfort that family should be providing him.
THWAMP
It didn't hurt, but it did cut their hug short as Bruce suddenly pulled away. Turning his head to see a young girl wielding a wiffle bat, and another young boy standing behind her.
Her purple eyes glared at Bruce like he had done the worst thing in the world. Her grip on the bat was threatening and ready to swing again. Her knuckles white from the tight grip alone.
Maybe leaving this time era might not be as easy as Bruce thought as the young girl probbed him with angry and scolding questions. Not that Bruce could blame her.
He just hoped this hiccup didn't get back to the league. They'd have a field day hearing about how Batman got scolded by a child with a wiffle bat.
°•°•°•°•°•°
Danny wasn't sure if this was the best idea. It's been years since he met Bruce Wayne. So many years. Danny had just been a kid, not even ten, when Bruce had introduced himself.
When he had an adult, actually check in on him. Yet, it was a memory Danny couldn't forget. Maybe it was just the kindness that Bruce radiated.
Or maybe it was when Sam came to his "rescue" near the end. Regardless, it was cemented in his mind. A core memory that Danny cared with him through the years.
Now, here he was, roughly seven years later. Standing in front of a manor that put even Sam's place to shame.
It took a lot of courage for Danny to knock. Barely a second later, an old man answered the door, an accent Danny was certain Bruce hadn't had.
A stuttered explaination of being here to see Bruce Wayne, that the man knew him, barely left Danny's mouth before the old man ushered him inside.
The man, Alfred, told Danny to wait by the door before vanishing further into the manor. It took a lot for Danny to not just vanish.
Being half ghost nowadays had its quirks, Danny could just vanish, and no one but Alfred would know. But he couldn't.
It had taken a lot for Danny to make the journey to Gotham City. He hadn't even thought to look up a current picture of Bruce either. Which was probably a big mistake on his end.
Danny didn't even know if Bruce was offering this kind of help. But Danny didn't have many allies to turn to. He needed help.
Not just for himself but for his family. For Amity Park. He couldn't be afforded the ability to run away. Not now.
Danny felt all the air leave his lungs when Bruce entered the area. The man didn't look a day older than what Danny remembered. Bruce looked a bit more put together, not like he had just jumped out of a moving car, but it was Bruce.
"Uhm... I don't know if you remember me. But my name's Danny... we met when I was a kid." Danny started trying to explain himself before Bruce could speak. He recognized that confused look anywhere, and Danny didn't have the guts to go through with this if Bruce asked any questions.
"You told me if I ever needed help, to come find you. Bruce Wayne in Gotham City... you, uh, told me to tell you Fairbanks sent me?"
That came out more like a question than Danny would have liked. But it did ease his nerves a bit as he watched Bruce's slightly confused expression turn to alarm and surprise.
Danny wasn't sure what this would do. If Bruce could truly help him. But he was out of options. Just seeing Bruce recognize something he said was enough to calm the teen's anxiety slightly.
"I'm sorry, Danny... I don't remember you. But I believe you and I want to help you. Come inside, have a seat, and tell me what's going on."
That response was enough to have Danny's eyes fill with tears. His chest filling with a sense of hope he hadn't felt in weeks now.
Maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.
#dc x dp#batman#dp x dc#phandom#bruce wayne#danny fenton#child danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#ofc Sam saw a stranger hugging her crying friend and wasn't going to just stand by#is it really dpxdc without angst?#for whatever reason when Bruce went back to his time he had forgotten the memories of what happened during his trip#he didn't remember meeting Danny but he couldn't just ignore a teen who knows one of the few codewords he has#besides how could Bruce not believe a kid who has his codeword and looks exactly like a child Bruce would adopt#Bruce will never live this down#just because he doesn't remember doesn't mean Danny and everyone else doesn't#they know so Bruce get's to learn a second time about being battered with a wiffle bat by child Sam#no current plans to turn this into a full fic cause I'm trying to keep my list of active fics short#but if anyone wants to take this idea and run with it all I require is a link drop!!!#I partly wanted to write more#but my brain is only coming up with certain scenes and not how it all ties into the main plot#basically Justice League stuff happens that sends Bruce (and maybe others) back in time where Bruce meets child Danny#what exactly well don't ask me#Danny be crying a bit in this one#but come on he was just a baby at the start#by the end he's just an overwhelmed teenager who is just happy to have someone who might be able to help on his side
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Okay. Fellas. Real talk. I've seen some of you do it and I thank you profusely for doing so but can yall PLEASE credit the original artist of that piece yall kinda made into an a dtiys/art meme? That's not official art. I am point blank refusing to engage with any of these pieces that I see not doing such. (Even when it pains me to keep scrolling, because some of them are really good!! And I want them here!!! But I do have some rules for myself I try to stand firm by with this blog.)
Like you can literally see them say right there that it's fine IF YOU CREDIT. I'm fucking begging you.
I'm not mad at anyone who didn't know but I've seen SO MANY versions at this point, and I think I've seen maybe 3 or 4 of them RECENTLY include the credit. (And one with improper credit, I think?) Please. Please just. Tack it on.
#ive been sitting on this for a couple days but im very tired and i would just like us all to please be reasonable. just. edit it into your +#+ captions. please. nothing to be done abt people who've already reblogged stuff but please. please please please#respect your fellow artists enough to credit where credit is do#ooc#txt#spto#sp comic#spvtw#spvtwtg#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim vs the universe#scott pilgrim takes off#i added alt text just in case but i seriously cannot stress enough how much extensive typing like this is fucking uo my hand a bit#so if anyone wants to better/fully transcribe the screenshots ill rb it and/or edit the alt text that's currently there#also. again. im really not mad at anyone who didn't know. but like. come on guys. i know someone else made a post abt this cause i was +#+ debating adding something along these lines to that post but i figured I'd just make my own (anxietyyy *finger guns as though this is +#+somehow supposed to be the better alternative*)#edit: i hate it when i come back and find a typo that im unsure how to fix. but also even if i fixed it i shot myself in the foot queueing +#+it up already... 😑 im very tired
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What about Hobie bouncing off and pulling up the bus and Peter smashing the car into Tombstone? Not much of a relation besides vehicular involvement, but their movements are just so cool in those little scenes
Vehicular involvement is all I need as an excuse to make a noirpunk GIFset lol
And agreed, their movements look so cool in these scenes! (I slowed both GIFs down a bit to get a better look at them)
Please feed me more noirpunk GIF ideas I love making these 💜
#I wanted to make the noir gif longer to get more of the fight since it's just so pleasing to look at#but the converter I use didn't let me make them longer than this#which is odd cause it hasn't been an issue before#so if anyone knows a good gif converter that lets you make longer gifs please let me know <3#idk if you're the same anon as before but still- thank you for sending these ideas in! <3<3<3#no idea is too small#no reach is too big lol#the world needs more noirpunk gifs and I'm happy to provide!#hobie brown#spider punk#peter benjamin parker#spider man noir#noirpunk#punknoir#across the spider verse#atsv#into the spider verse#itsv#pavitr prabhakar#spider man india#gwen stacy#spider gwen#spiderverse#ask#my post#my GIF#my GIFs
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So I finally had time to sit down and play through 2.3 this week and man I have a lot of Feelings about all of it, but today it's about Gallagher and Mikhail because!
The devotion of a dog! Gallagher's dedication lasting beyond Mikhail's death and then some! The way he let himself be seen through knowing it would mean his own death because it would help to accomplish his and Mikhail's dream! The immense regret and long lasting guilt of not helping Mikhail when he needed him! THE WAY MISHA CALLS GALLAGHER "MY HOUND-"
Ahem. I'm normal I swear. Anyway.
And one of my favorite displays of this undying loyalty? This.
This is the record you unlock in 2.3 after Siobahn brings up Gallagher's death in the Dreamjolt Hostelry. Right after "to the Nameless resting in peace... and to Gallagher."
La Messe de l'athée translates to The Mass of the Atheist. It was a short story about a man who goes to church, and is surprised to see another man whom he knows is an atheist attending mass, all alone. When questioned, the atheist says that he attends for a friend. This friend had banded with him when they were both poor, and acted as a father figure to him. The atheist managed to pull himself from poverty with his help, and did everything he could to repay and take care of his friend thereafter.
The friend died of illness some years later.
The atheist is still an atheist. But he attends mass on the behalf of the religious friend that saved him, and recites the prayers he heard whispered on his deathbed. These borrowed prayers are the closest a man like him could get to being a true believer, but he always holds out hope that those beliefs might enter his head.
There is so much in there, in the story they decided on as our final memento of Gallagher, that this is what was chosen to immortalize him, and ARGH OTL
#honkai star rail#hsr#gallagher#hsr gallagher#honkai star rail gallagher#honkai star rail spoilers#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.3#hsr 2.3 spoilers#interestingly la messe de l'athee was part of a series called... le comedie humaine. the human comedy. the same as the diverted universe.#anyway I am a huge sucker for the loyalty of a hound AUGH#what do you mean Gallagher lived his life dedicated to Mikhail and his cause#what do you mean the regrets that haunt him are that he didn't do enough when Mikhail needed him#what am I supposed to do with this information Hoyo how dare you#it's probably a mercy that we don't see a whole lot of Gallagher and Misha together#otherwise dear god I would not shut up ever#Gallagher says that Misha spent his entire life with him and he's grateful for that#did anyone else know like Micah? who Misha came from or who he used to be? or did Gallagher want to give him a chance at a normal life?#how long were they together? how much time did they spend in each other's company?#were they close? did Gallagher look after him? after this reincarnation of the man he devoted his life too that doesn't even know who he is#orz orz orz#hsr mikhail#mikhail char legwork
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Stealing the famous au version of Bill, chucking him into my machine and spitting out my fun pseudo twins from another reality agenda
Basically uhhh Will is more conceptually his opposite (order and chaos, truth and lies, manic and depressive, anger issues and repressed anger... Yay!)
Will is actively atoning for his wrong doing (detsroying his version of Euclydia) and learns about Bill and this version of him scares him because it reminds him of the monster he is (and the even worse monster he could be) that Bill brings out Will's own anger at himself onto Bill
Which is why he's been on a witch hunt to kill bill and then his own self but uh. Doesn't happen as he starts to reflect and see Bill as a brother (oopsies)
(I'm calling this the cipher twins au until uhhh I get a better name cause they aren't twins biologically... You've heard of brother from another mother get ready for....Twin from another reality...?)
#i have. so SO much about this au but I'm too stupid to properly word it rn#just know Will has like body dysmorphia cause he looks so much like his parents it makes him feel sick#prefers every other form and has taken a liking to the human flesh suit cause he's kinda transgender with it#also like a design choice that Bill is nonconforming while Will is but subtle hints that it's not exact#will get to Stella she's like Will one only friend but she's so important to him#friend he didn't want and didn't want anyone near him but the one he need#Gravity Falls#Cipher Twins AU#Bill Cipher#Will Cipher#Stella#oc#gravity falls oc#chirithy art
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Random gifs of Marisa Coulter smiling [8/∞]
#his dark materials#hdm#marisa coulter#marisa smiling#she is so fake omg 🤣🤣#i can't believe she fooled him like this#men are stupid#and she knows it#kind reminder marisa coulter is evil#and does it best#shes genuinely smiling cause he just drank her poison lmao#problematic fave#asriels lucky he got a child with her and actually lived to tell about it#hdm edit#mine#i didn't have this ep in good quality but still wanted to gif for the sheer evilness of this scene#does anyone even know she did this it was never brought up again 🤣
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ok but literally the worst thing spn did imo is the angels falling at the end of s8. I hated it so much. I hated it. I watched up to season TWELVE ONLY because I was hoping they would fix it but they didn't because the writers didn't even have a good idea for getting out of that situation so they just basically left it alone. It was horrible. Castiel you didn't deserve all of that, they used you so they could have a dramatic season finale and nothing else
#i was#SO upset#I'm still upset#on one hand i can understand and also appreciate how that gave Castiel SO much character development and#just changed him so much#and if I had a character like him i would probably also do something similar but i just#personally i hate it so much and cas should've never lost his grace like that and never even fully recovered it#they only did it so he wouldn't be OP against the monsters cause it's#hard to figure out a reason for cas to be there and not just kill any monster in a second you know#ughhhh#i hate it so muchh#i wanted him to be a bamf#i loved him as he wasss#I didn't want him to become more human i think it's cool that he couldn't really GET IT#URGGHHHHH#HELP MEEEEE IM SO UPSET ABOUT IT AGAINNN#also just#making angels into run of the mill monster of the week characters ughhhh noooooo#although I did like all the drama with like factions and stuff it was interesting#but in general#NOOOOO#ughhhhhhhhhhh#does anyone get me does anyone see meee
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...
#Didn't want to add kink discourse to a random stranger's post But#The way so many soft feedists have overused the word 'wholesome' to describe that flavour of feedism has made it a total turn-off to me#Even a red flag#Bc it's always used on posts deliberately trying to make feedism seem more palatable and harmless#And to distance themselves from CNC/health play/fatphobia play feedism#And to be like 'haha normies think we're evil but we're really such uwu cutie-pies'#😒 sorry but first of all I wanna be a grown adult into feedism - like you do you but sometimes it's treated as if#soft feedism IS baby talk feedism and that that's the default? Like that there's death feedism or there's tumby feedism and that's it#And on the other hand it screams moralizing kink and makes it easier to excuse your own and others' bad behavior#Because I'm just a harmless little soft feedist who cares about fat people not like one of those unenlightened dark feedists#Where someone's potential for causing discomfort or contributing to abusive dynamics is reduced to fixed attributes or aesthetics#rather than to someone's (or your own) actual actions#I know I've talked about this before and I know I'm a soft feedist at heart myself AND I know I'm being hyperbolic#But whenever several 'wholesome' posts start circulating around my dash ad nauseum like they have the past few days 😒😒😒#I just try to grit my teeth but I need to let the hater rattle the bars of its cage about it once in a while...#Obligatory 'this is not directed at anyone- I've seen a few lately and it's more about patterns of behavior than individual posts'
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The gongorinan is a qlippoth, which in PF2e are the beings who lived in the outer rifts before demons started forming and pushed them to the outskirts. Gongorinan are some of the stronger ones, standing 6 feet (1.8 m) at the top of thier shell. They can force you to drop any tool you're holding, have innate spells to petrify and turn you into an animal, and can make you slow and clumsy by showing you the horrors inside thier maw. Those horrors are all the forms it can turn you into, as even without thier spells they can turn you into animals, plants, or even fungi. That's thier ultimate plan, make everyone return to monke so you can't conceptualize sin, and therefore don't become damned. Cut off the flow of demons at the source to get the afterlife back to how it should be. Sounds like a reasonable plan to me! So if you've always wanted to be an animal, here's your chance!
#gongorinan#pf2e#pathfinder 2#pathfinder#smash or pass#I know Paizo has a few Jewish people on staff and commission who want to respectfully bring in creatures and stories from thier folklore.#Which I assume is also what caused various golems to get a name/origin/function change#the lich to have a soul cage now instead of a phylactery etc.#So I assume they would've cut or changed this like many others if this was disrespectful?#I did a few searches on this and didn't find anyone debating or taking issue with thier inclusion#but my opinion really doesn't matter on this one.#I'll leave that to people who know what they're talking about I'm just here to talk about screwing monsters.
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Speaking from a bad place, so bear with me. Has anyone thought about how being important or special to other people is based just on the people closest to you?
We regard strangers as people who are fairly irrelevant to us, because they have little to no impact to our life, and their lives and struggles won't generally touch us. In contrast, lives of people directly around us have a great impact on us, and they decide our relevancy. We give them roles in our lives, like friends, mentors, partners, lovers, caretakers, and in that regard they're special to us, irreplaceable. We also want to have an equally strong meaning in their life, to have a warm place in their heart and respect in their minds, as they do for us.
When people around us who hold great relevancy for us, also give us that same relevancy back, we feel important, we know we're special to them. That our role in their life shapes their experience, gives them gratitude and they've accepted us as someone they want and need around.
In contrast to that, when people in our life refuse to give us that same respect, warmth and relevancy, then we wonder what is wrong with us. What is missing so we can't be appreciated and regarded with the same love and respect that we show to them. Lack of mutuality makes us sink down with insecurity, self doubt and deep feeling that we're not enough, that we've done something wrong, not to deserve the same that we give to others.
And it also works out the same in isolation, if you have no one close to you, no one who has your well being in mind or cares for what becomes of you, it feels like you're important to no one, like you are not special whatsoever, even like you could be disposable if nobody cares at all.
But none of that is based on what's inside of us, who we are or how much love and good we are capable of giving and showing. It's nothing even related to our behaviour and actions, you could put anyone in these situations and results would be generally similar; person who is not experiencing reciprocity, or is left to fend for themselves alone, will lose the feeling that they're important or special in any way.
Isn't that weird? That we can end up judging our own worth based on nothing we did, or nothing we are, just based on how people around us are treating us, or whether we have anyone around us at all. In our essence we didn't change at all, it's just who is or isn't around, that determines our worth.
If we're put in a group of people who want to create bonds based on good things they see in us, we'll become able of seeing that good in ourselves. If we're surrounded by people who all feel the same as we do, act on the same moral code, readily reciprocate respect and warmth that we show to them, we won't feel like anything is wrong with us. We'll feel at home.
And since this is so intrinsic to being a person, to long for this and only feel relevant, safe and cared for in these circumstances, isn't it natural that we all deserve that? To be surrounded by people who make us feel like nothing is wrong with us, and like we're at home? Who help us focus on everything good in us, and give us no reasons to believe that we should be rejected or banished at all? Since abuse did the absolute opposite, and forced us to believe there's only reasons for abandonment, hatred and contempt, I believe being in the environment where people see many reasons to want us in their lives, would heal us.
#healing from abuse#abuse recovery#trauma recovery#emotional abuse recovery#abuse healing#i know i wrote this seemingly positive post but in reality i am so bitter#because i know people will sometimes see a reason to want me and often it's just opportunistic#because i'm trained to not make problems and to be pleasing and useful and whatnot#but even then#even then the fact that i was abused and have consequences of that in me will be enough#for them to back out and decide i'm not worth the effort#because to be close to me would mean to acknowledge abuse and that it's real and happening#and has massive consequences#and this is just too much for anyone to contemplate accepting#and it's easier to just back away and decide i'm an abomination or whatever#whatever they see in me is never enough to face difficult concepts of abuse and recovery#and i'm tired of being seen as a nuisance because of something i didn't do and i didn't cause#i had zero control over where i was born or what was done to me there#but it's a reason to abandon me#i don't know where my group of people is :(
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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If I had a penny for everytime someone on TikTok wrote an analysis "heavily influenced" by the ones I made here with zero credit I would have 4 whole pennies.
#'a cool terukane analysis I found on tumblr' by who? Is nice that people like my analysis enough to want to share it but come on...#'this Aoi Nene analysis I keep rereading from an anti' if it helped you see things you didn't see well before just credit it why be vague ?#'a great Tumblr Akane analysis' and is almost copy pasted... come on copy paste my username too is not that hard T-T#And so on... Why do we agree a traced art with 'credits to the artist' is bad but shrug about analysis?#It just baffles me that is always on TikTok that my friends find these without fail#Don't cancel anyone for this btw! i didn't share specific user names for a reason#At most give them a light reminder that credit is good if you recognize them. this is mostly for me to vent#cause I know is a losing battle but it happen too much for me to keep going 'they are probably kids I'll give them a pass'#since on Twitter and Tumblr I do get credit it started to feel like 'i can get away with it cause the og is on another platform' vibes#which fair enough... I won't create a tiktok account just for this but still#tbhk#vent
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hey man. i'm just saying. why would we put inexperienced teenagers with over-inflated egos and obvious emotional issues into combat classes and make them claw their way to the top of their dorms and expect things to just run smoothly. who actually thought this
#the reason rsa doesn't have overblots is because they understand the joy and whimsy of life and friendship btw#LIKE. why is there no school counselor?? do you know how much time & resources & effort & TRAUMA we could have saved the students &#school from if ANYONE had reached out to riddle and was like 'hey are you alright i heard xyz and i wanted to let you know...' ESPECIALLY#since TREY LITERALLY TELLS US 'oh well here's the lowdown on her trauma this is Probably what is causing this'#or if someone sat down to tell leona 'hey! i'm rooting for you in ur magift(?) game! you're my fav player!!' AND LET HIM FEEL NOTICED#or if someone approached azul as an Equal to try to stop his plans. as a friend even. BEYOND A BUSINESS TRANSACTION#or if ANYBODY BUT ESPECIALLY KALIM was like 'jamil i think you should follow your passions and do something you enjoy today!!' or AT LEAST#let him know he was appreciated as a person NOT JUST FOR HIS WORK#'i know you're doing a lot today but i just wanted to thank you for how much Effort you put into this and..' etc etc etc#ERM.. IF ANYONE TREATED VIL LIKE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CELEBRITY??? or even 'hey i loved you in this film i was wondering if we could#do a play together or something..!!' AND LET HER TRY A TYPE OF CHARACTER SHE NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE. and sing her praises.#if anyone reached out to idia beyond a 'hey the teacher said to come to class'/'get out of your bed and come to our housewarden meeting'#or even. IF ORTHO HIMSELF was like. 'you know it's not your fault... you didn't cause all of this. not really' OR SOMETHING#or if malleus ever got to experience a small firsthand loss AND WAS COMFORTED THROUGH IT. not just quick fix via magic. not replacing. just#GRIEVING SOMETHING??????? and wasn't feared by literally everyone#um. maybe the real twisted part is that all of this tragedy was easily preventable if we had a support system in place.#but idk. twst is a highschool. there's no support in real high school either. i'd probably overblot too if i could ajdjrjfinfdndjd#twst#chatter#LONG RAMBLE SORRY#yes overblots are essential to the plot. but also. do you know how frustrating it is watching the blot build up and sitting in silence.#I'M SORRY IK IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS HAPPENING TO A GUY I JUST MET I WOULD PROBABLY NOT NOTICE.. but of it was my Friend or Housewarden..#I'D ASK BRO.... I'D ASK ... UGHHHHHUUUHHHH#not that anyone would notice if *I* was about to lose it tbh#speaks volumes about our society o think#OKAY NOW I'M DONE FOR REAL
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Omg how did you get the bishoujo horror girls, i want jason and michael so bad but I can't find them anywhere 😭
i got all of my bishoujo horror girls on yahoo auctions using a proxy (i use zenmarket)! i got them recently for around $140 each excluding shipping which i was happy with! they might not be on there right now but i just consistently checked (i use the search term "horror 美少女") until they popped up for a decent price. really hope you can get them!!
#the girls do have bootlegs so beware of that!#btw if anyone wants a little guide to spotting bootlegs let me know. i'm not an expert but i could just share how i avoid bootlegs#anyway yes the horror bishoujo girlies drove me insane for years cause i didn't have any and i succeeded so there is hope! don't give up!!!#ask#non figure
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