#cause he thought that the ones who did it thought of him useless and unable

[starsofang]

Change of Heart

hitman!simon x f!reader / part 8

previous part

tw: alcohol use, angst, mentions of death

When life has completely and utterly failed you, you hire a hitman to take you out, too afraid to do it yourself. Instead of killing you like you had planned, he strikes up a deal with you, and you're too stubborn to bail out.

Waking up the next morning was the biggest slap in the face. It singed your skin with a burning sting, leaving you disoriented and lost. It was as if the brutal force of realization had hit you so hard, it knocked any form of thought right out of your mind except for pain. Irrepressible pain that caused you to feel numb.

Simon had left. All of your worried texts proved futile. What once showed as blue was now a sickening green that glared back at you. Your number was blocked, your messages unable to go through, and you were left an even shattered version than before. You were glass shards left to lay on the floor, you were a broken wind chime that could no longer provide a charming ambience.

You were broken and useless, tossed to the side like a damaged piece of scrap.

Simon had lived up to his name, and disappeared like a ghost. Drifting off into shadows of darkness, seeping into them and becoming one, never to be seen again.

You were hurt. Scratch that, that was a nice way of putting it – you were devastated. The walls you had so graciously taken down for him were now jagged pieces of debris with no mortar to glue them back together one by one. They were unrepairable, crumbling far too much to be saved.

Everything you ever learned about Simon felt like a lie, because that’s what he did – he lied. The glass was too foggy to tell the difference between what was a lie, and what wasn’t. If there were any parts of Simon that were truthful, you didn’t believe it. There was no grace of god to be there to lend a guiding hand to point you in the right direction. All you had was your gut, telling you deranged criticisms.

He lied to you, this was all a game, and you fell for it.

You should’ve known, really. A man like Simon was not one to love and be loved, not when he had an apparition named Ghost to steer him away from any attachment. After all, spirits could not grow devoted to a mere mortal woman who had nothing left to offer. You were stupid to think otherwise.

Graves was a bad enough person. He hurt you, tormented you, claimed you in order to assure your life was a living hell, with or without him. Now, the smallest part of you didn’t think he could be as cruel as Simon at this moment. It was a brainless thought, one you knew was far from true.

Simon never hurt you, nor did he treat you as bad as Graves.

But at least Graves didn’t have the gall to abandon you like an unwanted dog on the street.

Your mind was ping-ponging back and forth between truth and deception. You didn’t know what was real. It hazed over you, muting out every bit of you that was left inside and replacing it with nothing but cracked foundation.

Nothing was real. Nothing was worth it.

You didn’t leave the house for the entirety of the day, nor the next. You stayed in the confinement of your own home, feeling like a caged animal with no way out. You were slowly decaying away, losing the truest part of yourself, no longer able to see her in the reflection. She stared back at you with a ghostly image, whispering about how disappointed she was in you, how hateful she felt towards you.

She whispered about Simon, burdening you with reminders of what could’ve been if you were simply a little less broken. Bringing him up just to dig the knife in more, twisting it under your skin and basking in the bloodshed.

You were spiraling, just like you always did, because it was all you were good for. Simon was another excuse to crumble back into a deeply rooted self hatred. He was just a chess piece, a single card in a stack of dozens, while you picked it up and returned to your old game of reckless entertainment.

Day fourteen came before you know it. And you spent it completely by yourself, pondering why you ever made a deal with the devil in the first place.

It was easy to fall back into old habits when there was nothing there to offer recovery. Relapsing was what you did best, even when Simon was around, and you’d be damned if you didn’t do it again with him gone. It was a part of you, this endless cycle of self abuse, and it wasn’t going anywhere. It was simply on a temporary pause, now returning with more fiery persistence than before.

Alcohol was the only home you ever knew. It warmed you to the bone, engulfing you in a buzzing fervor. It welcomed you back with open arms, holding on to you with no intent of letting go. You were its lovely hostage, and you had grown Stockholm Syndrome.

Weeks passed by of tireless nights filled with the bitter taste that burned in your throat on repeat. Weeks were spent holed up in your apartment, nursing the only friend you had. This time around, you weren’t picky. You took whatever you could get, uncaring of the repercussions

And even in those weeks, Simon never left your mind. It was like a punishment for being good enough to fuck, but not good enough to stick around. It tortured your mind to the point of insanity.

The more alcohol you had, the more the memory of him became cloudy. It was exactly why you drowned yourself in it. You didn’t want to picture Simon’s face. Didn’t want to picture the way his eyes lit up when he saw you, or the way his smile was a bit crooked and off center. You didn’t want to picture him, and the future you grew too eager for, one that consisted of the two of you. Two puzzle pieces fitting together, only to be wretched apart and pressed down in separate corners.

You were completely losing yourself. All over a man who had broken you.

The cycle repeats. And repeats. You let it repeat, until hopefully one day, the alcohol would prove to be enough to give you the death you so greedily wanted.

It wasn’t until nearly four weeks in utter disarray that the cycle began to morph, railing off of the tracks that you worked so hard to have control over.

Deep into your daily routine of excessive drinking and wallowing in your own self-pity, the door knocked. You nearly missed it, brushing it off as your imagination. You didn’t have visitors, and the only one who cared to take that spot until leaving you was Simon.

Glancing around your apartment, you visibly winced at the disheveled sight of it. Bottles were thrown around carelessly, littering the kitchen counters and living room floor, where you were currently residing with a nameless show playing on the television. Hell had flown through your apartment, and it was your fault it had gotten this way again.

Old habits die hard. And you were always its unfortunate victim when those habits needed a host to leech on to once more.

Clambering up from where you sat on the floor, you somehow made your way to the door by the grace of god. It was late, and if you read right from the clock on the stove, it was past midnight. Anybody could be outside – a killer, an intruder, a thief. It was a mix between not caring about dying, and having enough logical sense to know nobody dangerous would knock first, that had you opening the door.

An unfamiliar man stood tall in the frame, bushy facial hair, sunken eyes that barely held a spark, almost as broad and stiff as Simon. But it wasn’t Simon, and this man was a mere stranger.

“Jesus,” the man muttered under his breath at the state of you. You frowned, feeling small and weak in comparison. After a moment, he cleared his throat, speaking again. “Need to talk to you. Can I come in?”

“I don’t even know who you are,” you muttered, narrowing your eyes.

“M’a friend of Simon’s,” he explained woefully. The sound of Simon’s name coming from somebody else’s lips and not yours had your heart clenching with a dull ache. It sent ice cold chills running through your veins. “The name’s John Price.”

You stared at him with a look of disdain. You never heard Simon mention him before. The more you thought about it, you never heard Simon mention anybody. He was an enigma that you fell into too easily without even knowing a lick of who he was outside of your temporary protector.

“If you’re looking for him, I don’t know where he is,” you replied dryly, gripping a hand on the door and beginning to close it. Before the hinge could click into place, John’s boot stopped it, wedging itself between the door and its frame. He gave you a tight smile, one that had you tensing.

“I know where he is, dove. I said that I need to talk to you.”

The two of you became trapped in a staredown, one that you were too exhausted to fight to be the champion of. Begrudgingly, you opened the door wide enough to allow him to slip in, shutting it behind him. You watched as he took in your apartment, surely judging the whirlwind of it. He wasn’t exactly the type to hide away his distaste, if his mockingly amused expression was any type of indication.

“What do you want?” you asked him, disregarding your own mess and instead focusing on him. He turned to look at you, flashing you another smile. It seemed trusting enough, kind even, but by this time, you knew better.

“Came to offer you a deal, of sorts,” he vocalized. “Might I sit?”

You glanced over at the living room, shame bubbling in you at the sight of the bottle you’d been indulging in before he came around. “Sure.”

You trailed behind him when he took his seat on the couch, letting out an exaggerated sigh, leaning back into it. His display of comfort made you feel uneasy. You made no effort to join him, opting to stand in the middle of the room.

“You were rather close with Simon, weren’t you?” he asked, causing you to scoff to yourself.

“Sure. What’s that got to do with anything?” you asked grimly.

Price hummed to himself, tapping his fingers against his knee. It caused a faint, muted sound of rough, calloused fingertips to chafe against the material of his pants. “Figured so. Allow me to ask you somethin’. You know of Simon’s occupation, right?”

“Yes.”

“Right. Silly me, that’s how you met, isn’t it?” He chuckled to himself. You weren’t sure what was so amusing. “Well, here’s the thing – his performance has been a bit… hindered as of late. I have a strong inkling that it’s because of you.”

The air in the room was tense, nearly suffocating you. Price had such a soft aura that was hiding menacing intentions. You could see through it.

“I need a favor from you, doll.”

“And that is?” you asked carefully.

He smiled at you, cocking his head. “I need you to reject him. Tell him you’re better off, that you don’t need him, whatever you can say to make him get his head back in the fuckin’ game. This job of ours isn’t a joke, you see. I can’t have him slackin’ off. That’s how he’ll end up caught and thrown in jail. Once it reaches that point, I can’t help him out of it. That’s why I need you to help me before that happens.”

Your eyes widened in bewilderment at the sheer nerve of Price. Asking you to tell Simon off, to lie and say you were happy without him? Fuck, the proof was in the pudding – you weren’t, and you could almost guarantee that Simon would know you were lying from one single word. Sure, you were mad at him – pissed – but you also wanted no part in this game Price was playing.

The more you sat on it, the more it became twisted. You were thrown in a tangled web of deception and betrayal, stuck to it like glue, fighting for your way out.

But how much of it was betrayal? How much of it was trickery?

Price’s words echoed in your mind on repeat. They formed together, creating a clear picture.

Price had been the one to have Simon toss you out. He was the reason for your harrowing spiral. He was why Simon had left you, treating you as if you didn’t exist. Just a pawn in his game, and you were too stupid to realize it all sooner.

“You did this?” you snapped. Price raised an eyebrow at you, but said nothing. “You… you’re the reason for all of this, and now you’re asking me for help to lie to him? Are you insane?”

His expression twitched into a flash of annoyance before returning back to a mask. Alarms rang in your head. “I’m doin’ this for Simon. You’re a little bird he fell into when he shouldn’t have, and now I’m tryin’ to fix it before it’s too late.”

“Bullshit. You’re doing this to save your own ass.”

“I’d highly advise watchin’ yourself, doll,” Price muttered in warning, eyes narrowed and expression darkened. “You don’t know anythin’ about what we do. Don’t know how dangerous it is for you to be involved with Simon, and for Simon to be involved with you. I’m savin’ Simon’s ass from fuckin’ up one too many times.”

The atmosphere was even thicker than before. It was hard to breathe. It made you queasy, as if poisoned with a heavy gas that may just kill you if you inhaled it for too long.

Price and you stared at one another, both stubborn and pulled taut. His anger simmered to a low boil once the two of you took that silence to gather your thoughts, but it didn’t entirely vanish. You could still see a flicker of a flame in his eyes.

He was dangerous. Not somebody you wanted to get tangled up in, but you had no choice. You were too deep into this webbed mess, and it was only a matter of time before it came to bite back at you.

“What’s wrong with him?” you finally asked, voice quiet and solemn. You crossed your arms over your chest, turning your gaze away from him so you didn’t have to see his display of weak sympathy and mock judgment.

“He fell in love with you, that’s what’s wrong,” Price bit back, sneering. “Now he’s weak. Can’t do his job correctly, got his head in the fuckin’ clouds, snaps at everybody who tries to talk to him. He’s riskin’ himself, riskin’ us, and I can’t afford losin’ a brother over some girl.”

Price’s words were bitter and cruel. It only irritated you, pricking at your skin until it drove you mad. All calmness that had festered in your brief silence washed away, replaced with the old flame of your anger.

“Losing him?” You laughed bitterly, throwing your head back in disbelief. “Sounds to me like it’s your fault and not mine. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re the reason he’s all fucked up?”

Price stood from where he sat on the couch. There were no longer kind features adorning his face. It was replaced with twisted anger, morphing into something unrecognizable. When he stepped closer to you until you were nearly nose to nose, it was like looking into the eyes of a feral wolf, ready to tear you apart at any given second.

“Wise words comin’ from an alcoholic,” he muttered lowly. It was a hard pill to swallow. “I was tryin’ to be nice, doll. I was givin’ you an option. A choice. You’re just as fucked up as Simon. The difference is that you’re goin’ down a path nobody can save you from. I can save Simon.”

The words slapped you harsh in the face. It was brutal and cruel, and he showed no remorse for the damage he was doing. This was a man who got what he wanted, hurting everybody in the process so long as he achieved it. His goal was to save Simon from his impending doom, and he was willing to take you down to make it happen.

“If you really cared about Simon, you would’ve never let him get to this state in the first place,” you retorted back just as cruelly. “It’s not my fault, and I’m not going to sit here and let you blame me for it. Take a look in the mirror and you’ll get your answer on why he’s being this way.”

Silence. Aching, deafening silence. It tinged the air with a sour smell. The two of you were making no moves of backing down, and it was simply a recipe for disaster.

You didn’t know why you were defending Simon. After what he did, he didn’t deserve your care. He didn’t deserve to have you bandage over his name from the countless wounds he’d inflicted on it by leaving you behind after taking all of you in this very apartment.

However, with a missing puzzle piece being added to the pile, that being Price, you couldn’t help but offer your support from afar. It was clear he had no hand in this game. He was a pawn, just as much as you.

“I’m not helping you toy with his feelings,” you whispered. This time, you sounded defeated rather than angry. Broken, sad, dejected. “He doesn’t deserve that.”

Price sucked in a sharp breath, stepping away but keeping his gaze pointed to you. He said nothing for the first few moments, eyes flickering over the worn out lines on your face. Empty eyes, ones that were surely full of life at some point in your life. Perhaps even lit up with Simon around.

He had taken that away from you, and it was only then he was realizing how cruel he was being. All of it, for the sake of protecting his own, of protecting Simon. He was so consumed by the thought of keeping Simon out of trouble, that he only sought to create more for you. A civilian, one who simply got wrapped up in the wrong crowd.

No outsider had ever cared for Simon like Price, Gaz, and Soap did. They were all each other had, bound together by an unfortunate calling. Nobody was allowed in, or out.

Then you came along, and Ghost had quickly become Simon again.

“You’re not goin’ to make this easy for me, are you?” Price sighed, shoulders deflating, releasing its built up tension.

“No. I’m not,” you agreed grimly.

“Stubborn one, you are,” he hummed, and dare you say it, he sounded amused. “Can see why Simon likes you.”

You glanced up at him, noting the faintest of smiles on his face. It was barely visible, a ghost on his lips, but even through your hazed exhaustion, you could see it.

“Tell you what,” he began, crossing his arms to match your stance. “I’ll talk to him. See what I can do. M’not promisin’ anythin’. This isn’t the type of life I want you wrapped up in, but I can see that you’re only goin’ to wallow here until you drop dead. I don’t want that blood on my hands.”

“What are you saying?” you asked suspiciously.

“I’m sayin’, that I’ll try to see if it could work. Again, m’not promisin’ you anythin’, doll. But if you’re the reason Simon can get his head out of his ass and stop doin’ sloppy work, then I’ll see what I can do.”

It was no guarantee, but Price was trying. One moment, he was begging you to hurt Simon to the point he’d never think of crawling back to you. Now, the story had changed, and he was making a peace offering.

You weren’t sure whether or not to trust him. You shouldn’t. It was a bad idea.

But the thought of seeing Simon again, to mend the broken bond you had formed, caused you to agree.

Simon was fucked. He’d drowned himself in a world of pure guilt ever since he’d blocked your number and called it quits. He was miserable, more than he’d ever been.

He didn’t feel guilt. In fact, he wasn’t supposed to feel anything at all. He was Ghost, after all, and ghosts didn’t feel. Yet with you, the narrative had switched. It was as if the gates of heaven had opened up, offering him a chance at redemption. He felt everything all at once – love, care, affection, longing, heartache.

Everything felt right with you. It was like he had finally found his home, only to have it torn away from the grasp of his hands. No matter how much he tried holding on to it, it proved a fruitless effort. It was gone before he even resided.

Simon’s mind became a jumbled mess. He returned to the empty shell he was before when nothing mattered and he only saw the world through a red-colored lens. It was straining, it was harsh. It hurt to wake up everyday and see a colorless world waiting for him.

His shattered, frail mind affected everything he’d ever known. Work became a chore. He was messy, careless, and the darkest part of him wished he would be caught so he could force himself into punishment for hurting an angel sent from above that was placed in his life to nurture him.

It was what he deserved. Simon was a man who fell in love, and Ghost was the devil that reminded him that he was undeserving. Unworthy.

You deserved better than him. You deserved the world, and Simon was the one who would take from it with greedy hands caked in the blood of God’s creations.

Everyday burned with an itch to see you, to send you a text. He missed you, but he hated himself more. It stopped him from reaching out, caused him to pull back on the reins and pace himself. Nothing could scratch the burning itch except for the brutal reminder that you deserved better.

The weeks were hell without you. He’d grown agitated at everything around him, going as far as to snap at Gaz and Johnny when they attempted to console him, to snap at Price out of unfiltered rage at what he made him do. He was too far gone, and the only foundation he had left was beginning to crumble, all because of him.

Damn Price for taking you away, and damn you for making him fall in love.

Simon didn’t know how much more he could take. It was eating away at him, like a parasite feeding off of its host, draining him of all soul. Even now, as he sat in his own apartment, hidden on his balcony and smoking all of his worries away with hopes of succumbing to the nasty tar that threatened to rise in his throat every time, he was decaying. Withering away, like a fragile flower.

The night was dark. The stars didn’t shine as brightly as they did on your balcony. The air didn’t feel as pure without you to share it with him. The smoke didn’t wisp up into silly, little shapes, and instead, tainted the air with polluted illness.

It was positively suffocating.

As Simon nursed the cigarette to the very end, stubbing it out with his boot and carelessly leaving it littered with the rest of them on his balcony, he heard the faint knock on his door. He silently prayed it was death, here to take him away and rid him of his pain for good.

It wasn’t death, but it was damn near close.

“Price,” he grumbled at the sight of the older man. It was too late for him to make an appearance, so he wasn’t sure why he did. Maybe Price had truly given up on him and was here to offer mercy.

Price didn’t care for greetings, stepping past Simon and into his apartment. Simon followed after him with his gaze, mentally preparing himself for another lecture. It was bound to happen at this point, seeing as Price was fed up.

Simon knew he was putting their lives on the line by being reckless. He just didn’t have it in him to care.

Closing the door behind him, Simon kept his distance, not uttering a word until Price spoke first. The man in question lingered around his apartment, seeming to stall with time, too choked up for words.

“You need somethin’, sir?” Simon finally asked. Price lifted his eyes to look at Simon. For a moment, they were unreadable. Masking away his thoughts, tucking them far in the back of his mind.

Price let out a deep exhale through his nostrils. He stood there in silence for what felt like eternity. Simon could see the gears shifting in his mind, working overtime.

“Go and get your bird back, Simon,” Price sighed, but to Simon, it sounded like church bells ringing on a Sunday morning, beckoning him home.

so many of y'all thought the last part was the end, but i'm not that cruel ;( i promise

[and-so-he-rambled]

“Oh Bats, are you losing your touch?”

(Gotham Rogue Vlad Masters) Masterlist

Vlad was definitely gloating as he cocked his hip and leaned against the roof access door of the building. Bruce had been chasing him all across the city, having much less luck than usual ever since Vlad’s powers had started getting stronger. He still didn’t dare change forms since Daniel’s death day weeks earlier, both for not tipping his hand and being unsure if he was strong enough to maintain it yet, but he could feel his former strength returning. The wound in his shoulder was starting to heal properly now that they had access to ectoplasm.

He tauntingly swung the artifact in front of him, a necklace from a private collection that one of his old contacts had asked him to track down. Getting in and out had been easy, using the cheat of his intangibility to get in without tripping an alarm. He did however somehow manage to set off the silent alarm as he was leaving, what an unfortunate oversight that would surely lure in a bat.

Batman glared at him, breathing heavier than usual. Vlad was becoming more and more sure each day that he wasn’t truly human, able to keep up with a half ghost across the city. Vlad hadn’t made it easy for him for both their sakes, he needed the exercise and the Bat needed his lovely company. He’d kept things fun by shorting out the bats comm line occasionally, but not so much that he would catch on that Vlad was the cause. It really did ruin so much of the fun to have a voice in your ear helping out.

“Badger.” The hero snarled, taking a step forward.

Vlad smirked, twirling the necklace around his clawed finger and dancing out of reach. And Daniel said ballroom was a useless skill!

“Ah, ah, not my name.” He didn’t always use the Honey Badger moniker, but it had its uses. Batman glared harder, forcing his next words through grit teeth.

“Honey-“

“Yes dear?”

Vlad cackled as Batman frowned harder, tossing the necklace up and snatching it back out of the air before making it disappear from sight. In reality it was stored inside Vlad’s arm, but the Bat didn’t know that.

“Oh, guess it’s gone!” Vlad smirked, taking a swaggering step forward with his hands out to show his empty palms, long metal claws glinting. He invaded the Bat’s space, their chests nearly touching as he growled playfully. What? He was allowed to have a little fun!

“You going to search me for it?”

Batman grabbed his wrist, pulling it away from where it had strayed close to his utility belt.

“You going to make me?” Vlad was unable to help the low purr in his chest.

“Maybe I-“

“Unhand Honey Badger!”

Both men froze as a tiny voice yelled, heads turning to watch a tiny body executed a perfect flip, only to stumble as he landed.

Daniel stood in all his tiny glory, smiling up at him with sharp teeth. He was wearing his own version of the Badger outfit, with white markings down the eyes of his cowl and gauntlets that ended in claws, but Vlad could see stars twinkling in the black fabric. It appeared Daniel had discovered how to change the outfit of his ghost half.

“Little Badger.” Vlad hissed, stalking away from Batman and making sure he was a barrier between Daniel and the Bat. “What are you doing here?”

“Helping you fight Batman! Did you steal something? Can I see? Can I help next time?” The white lenses of Daniel’s cowl widened, a tinge of glowing green behind them.

“I was explicitly clear that you are not ready yet, was I not?” Vlad glanced at Batman, who was watching them, and switched to ghost speak. Daniel was hardly fluent yet, but he could understand it well enough. ‘Where is your sister? How did you find me? I thought you hated stealing!’

“I do! But sometimes people do bad things for good reasons!” Daniel repeated his first lesson proudly and in English. “Besides, you said Batman is a weirdo and we can be mean to him.”

“Badger, is this child… acquainted with you?”

Vlad sniffed, turning up his nose.

“I don’t see how that’s your business. Perhaps I’ve taken a page out of your book.” He glanced at Daniel’s shoddy costume and back to Batman. “At least mine wears pants.”

Batman glowered at him, Vlad’s hearing picking up staticky laughter from his comms. His hearing was growing sharper and better as well now. He hadn’t picked up anything useful from Bat’s comms yet, as he rarely got close enough to listen for long and they used code names, but he gladly kept this skill hidden for when it would have its uses.

Just as the great Bat went to offer whatever defense he had for his Robin occasionally wearing honest to ancients booty shorts the boy himself landed on the roof. It seems he’d decided to actually join the party this time. He usually made himself scarce when Vlad and the Bat had their moments.

“Hey, they’re comfy! I didn’t know bad guys had sidekicks too, if he my new nemesis? Kinda short.” Robin smiled confidently at the younger child.

The two children stared at each other for a long moment before Daniel turned to Vlad.

“Can I fight him? Can I? Can I? I’ve been training with J- WildCat!”

“Cub, you are not ready to face Robin yet.” Not without using his powers and blowing their secret.

“Just a little? Pleaaase?”

Vlad glanced at Batman before sighing heavily, shoulders sagging.

“Just for a moment.” Sue him, he wanted to know how Daniel would fare in a real fight. He trusted Robin wouldn’t hurt him severely, and that Batman knew he wasn’t above revenge on his cub’s behalf.

“But he’s a toddler!” Robin protested, gesturing at the young child. “How do we start? Witty banter?”

The Badger Cub had been training with Vlad and Jazz daily, but his training was far different than theirs. Vlad was teaching Jazz acrobatics and the art of thievery, but Daniel had been learning simply how to survive by any means necessary.

Which was why he dropped down to all fours, let out a terrifying snarl, and ran at the young hero full force. Vlad watched in delight as Robin screamed, the kindergartener launching up at him.

He easily dodged Batman’s attack, twirling out of reach with a laugh.

“Honestly Batman, so impatient. Can’t keep your hands off me, can’t you see I’m watching the children play?”

Daniel, to his credit, was doing very good for a five year old. He was using every dirty trick Vlad had taught him, and a few he’d come up with on his own.

“What is wrong with this kid! Owowow, he’s biting me! Who does that?!” Robin shook his arm as he tried to pry it from the child’s jaws.

“Badger! What did I say about biting? Release! You don’t know where that boy has been!” Vlad flipped out of Batman’s reach with a slight boost from flight, kicking him in the chest as he did.

The cub unlocked his jaw and skittered away, still on all fours and growling.

“I promise he’s had his shots.”

Vlad’s comm came alive with a crackle, Jazz’s terrified voice coming over the line.

‘I can’t find Dan- Baby Badger! I woke up and he’s gone!’ The girl sobbed in a panic, hiccuping. Daniel went stiff, staring at Vlad with wide eyes as his sensitive ears picked up the words.

“I have him, WildCat. We’ll be returning momentarily, he is unharmed.” He assured her, scooping the child up under one arm. Batman and Robin began to drift to the sides, likely trying to box him in.

“You’re not going anywhere, Honey Badger.”

“Actually I am!” Vlad cheerily yelled as he released a cloud of thick smoke from a port in his glove, turning invisible and running as the Bats closed in.

“Cub, you are going to be grounded until you’re thirty.” He snarled to his adopted son as they dashed across buildings and through shadows. “But, I am proud of how well you did. Perhaps one day you can join me.” He wanted better for his kids, but he also knew that there wasn’t much of a life for them outside of the shadows. A secret part of him hoped Daniel would do good like he always wanted instead of becoming a thief like him and Jazz, but he’d let the child choose that path himself.

Jazz was a mess when they finally phased through the apartment wall, snatching her brother and hugging him through sobs. Once she’d recovered she began to scream at him, shaking the boy until Vlad stepped in.

Daniel passed out immediately once he changed back, happy as could be and unworried about the punishment that awaited him.

Vlad left the bedroom to find Jazz on the couch, staring at her hand. She was wearing one of her gauntlets, the metal gloves Vlad had made her for self defense. They normally stayed as simple bracelets, but she could activate them as needed. She’d designed them herself when Vlad had taught her the lesson of scratching the eyes out of anyone who tried to take her.

“What’s on your mind, Jasmine?” He sat down on the threadbare couch beside her.

The redhead sighed, bumping their shoulders together as she leaned against him. He activated the second gauntlet with a flick of her wrist, tapping the metal claws together idly.

“I know it’s stupid, but I guess I wanted to be the one to go with you first.” Vlad looked at his adoptive daughter, cataloguing every scar and stress line. She’d aged so much in the last year. He knew she wanted to follow in his footsteps and provide for them, but Daniel would always tether her. It was Vlad’s fault for putting so much of Daniel’s care on her shoulders when he’d promised himself he wouldn’t, but they had never had other options. Daniel was just too young, too special, too reckless.

“I’ll tell you what.” Jazz looked at him with sad bit curious eyes. “Let’s make a deal.”

“What?”

“Keep up with your training and prove to me you can handle yourself, and we’ll get Daniel a sitter so you can pull a job with me. After I know you can take care of yourself I’ll watch Daniel so you can go out.” He’d been hesitant on sending a seven year old girl out into Gotham, but Jazz was improving leaps and bounds each day. She enjoyed challenging herself and improving, and Vlad was confident she would be a capable thief someday.

“Really? Thank you!” She threw her arms around him, claws tearing into the couch and nearly missing Vlad.

“Yes, yes.” Vlad pat the girls head, allowing the tight hug. He wasn’t a touchy person unless it was specific people, and Jazz was special. She was allowed in his personal space. Daniel allowed himself in everyone’s personal space.

“We do need to teach Daniel some actual fighting techniques now. He was a tad feral tonight.”

——

I love Feral Danny Fenton. This fic needs more of it, I’ve written Daniel as an inconvenience more than a child so far, so I wanted to let him shine a bit by causing some chaos

Also Bruce definitely suspected Vlad (or ‘David’ lol) was the new rogue, but this definitely confirms it. A child with the exact height and voice as his son appeared.

[uplatterme]

love bites ♡

—cannibalism, s&m dynamics, bondage, blindfold, ball gag, double penetration, toys | dom!reader/sub!aether, s!reader/m!aether, reader is not gender-specified but does penetrate, aether's genitals are referred to with both cunt and cock (it is mentioned he has two holes + a cervix, but i didn't intend for him to be afab/intersex i just wrote ig?) —this is short. it's been in my drafts because i wanted to add more but i think this is fine tbh.

The ground below Aether is entirely soaked with his fluids. Both of his holes are filled, being controlled by the remote in your hand. It’s currently at a steady rhythm, but that doesn’t stop him from whining.

Aether’s head tilts back, a muffled groan erupting from his throat as another hit from your whip laid against his bare skin.

His steps staggered on the floor, only able to stand up with the tip of his toes as his wrists were tied too high to the ceiling, his short stature being barely even able to touch the ground with his feet.

It’s only been a couple of minutes or so, maybe an hour? He couldn’t tell accurately with the gag and blindfold numbing most of his senses so that he’d only focus on the pain you were giving to his rear.

The room was quiet except for the occasional screams and hitting, or the liquid that squirts onto the floor as Aether moans loudly onto the ball gag.

It was never easy whenever your jealousy took over you…but it was definitely fun. Especially for the immortal star whose skin was starting to bruise.

“They don’t deserve you.” Your voice rings in his ears.

“You don’t need to think of them, just focus on me.”

You take off the gag, dropping it mindlessly as it clatters on the ground. Next followed the blindfold, and though his eyes were stained, that didn’t take away from their shine.

With ease, you pull out the vibrator in his front. His wetness leaves a trail as you easily pull it out with how wet his insides are.

Aether flinches at the way he’s suddenly left feeling empty.

Although that doesn’t last long as that’s when he feels you stretching his hole, filling him tightly until he’s squirming onto nothing, unable to hold himself or even crawl away.

“If I can’t keep you in here, I suppose I’ll just leave enough marks so everyone knows who you belong to.” 

Aether whines at the prospect. He knows it’s a useless threat, especially with how he heals much faster than humans. Stil, he did appreciate the—Oh.

A loud scream leaves the outlander’s throat dry.

“Hnnghh—Aahh…Haah!”

His entire body shakes from the pain, his movements causing you to go deeper into him. A cry leaving him from feeling everything all at once.

He did not expect you to do that.

“S-So mean…” He breathes out, watching the blood from his shoulder drip down his body. Yet there’s a matching red blush on his face, as if what you did was something all normal couples do.

“You taste good.” You compliment, the torn flesh going down smoothly as you swallow.

Aether’s face leans towards you as if asking for you to share what his own body tastes like. Your lips close together, his tongue grasping the remains from you biting a part of his collar. He’s never tasted himself before, though that thought was always something he was curious about, the only problem was that he was too much of a coward to do it.

You two continue kissing, you pressing deep into his cervix, the pain coursing through him as he matches your rhythm.

“You’re so cheesy…” He states after he finally pulls back.

“What else am I supposed to do if you keep healing through all the marks I make? Hopefully, this one lasts more than a week.”

“It will…Maybe, you can just bite me again to be sure…” He suggests.

“This is supposed to be your punishment, you know?” You remind him, though it’s difficult to stay mad with the kind of faces that he pulls against you.

“It’s not my fault you get jealous easily.” He refutes.

“I don’t.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Aether says, smiling as he snickers a laugh which quickly gets cut off when you continue thrusting into him again.

“You speak when I tell you to.”

He doesn’t get to argue this time, his mind too focused on the way he’s getting penetrated so deeply. He’s forced to take each pounding, each inch that rubs against his walls sending him closer to another orgasm. His choked-up sounds continue to leak out with the thought of you being so possessive of him.

Your hands reach his cunt, his swollen cock begging to be touched. And so you fulfill that wish, earning another whimper when you slap his cock.

He’s so out of it. He loves how his body feels so much of a wreck, his sweat mixing with blood, and eventually with his cum.

He pants, his hands still tied up. His entire body trembles, the feeling of you pulling out is so agonizing itself. He wants to keep you in, he needs it. He has to take advantage of you as he doesn’t know how long until he can experience this high again.

So with a shaky voice, he asks.

“More?”

[hxney-lemcn]

Beneath the Mask — Abyss Razor x gn! reader

summery: you show Abyss a kindness that no one has before, which leads to two lovesick fools.

tw: none that I can think of, just typical sad boy Abyss :(

a/n: I love him sm and there's almost no content for him so I had to do something about it.

wc: 1.1k

Master List | Part One | Part Two | Part Three

The first time you laid eyes on him they were drawn to the porcelain mask that laid on his face. Although the face is typically the first thing someone’s eyes land on, you felt like you did something wrong. He was clearly hiding his face, as not only did he wear the delicate mask, but he wore his hood up. You didn’t wish to offend him in any way, so you politely asked if you could sit next to him as that was the only seat left. 

That was the start of your relationship with Abyss Razor, a high ranked Magia Lupus from the Lang dormitory. He was quiet and intimidating, and the fact that you couldn’t see his reactions or expressions only made you feel more timid in his presence. Yet even though he looked to be domineering, and a part of a notorious cult-like group that boasted of their superiority, he had been nothing but kind to you. For group projects he let you lead, chiming in politely when you almost did something wrong. 

His tall imposing figure had turned into a comforting presence. He never judged you for your flaws and he seemed genuinely interested when you found yourself speaking of your interests. You had found yourself falling for your mysterious deskmate despite all odds. You didn’t mind the mask he wore, nor that you ended up filling most of the silence between you two…although sometimes you wished he’d speak more about himself. You couldn’t help that your endearment for Abyss had caused you to want to learn more about him as a person.

And then the unexpected happened. One day, Abyss had showed up to class without his mask. You tried your hardest not to stare, but you were flabbergasted that he had been hiding the most handsome face you had ever laid eyes on. From his long light blue hair tied up in a high ponytail all the way to the jagged marks that lined his cheeks. He was truly beautiful, and you found yourself suddenly questioning your relations to him. It was only recently that you had pondered to finally admit your feelings, but that suddenly seemed to be a lost cause.

You looked down at the table, unable to shake off your sudden feeling of inadequacy. Like usual, he took his seat next to you, taking out the needed materials for the course. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking a glance at him from the corner of your eye. He looked so graceful as his eyes followed his every move. Oh those eyes. You knew the tale of the devil who imbued his evil into only whom could be deemed evil. The mark of the evil eye was only a fable you had thought, but how could one of the sweetest men you had ever met be evil? He kept to himself, never wanting to impose. He’d help whenever he could, never wanting to be useless. You felt your heart break as you finally realized why others kept a distance from him. 

You frowned, wondering how you could be so oblivious about someone you cared so deeply for. You had prided yourself for being observant of his traits, of recognizing his feelings without needing to see his face, only to be the most oblivious. 

“I-I understand i-if you want to stop being friendly t-towords me,” Abyss stuttered, breaking you out of your reverie. Your eyebrows furrowed as you frowned. You finally faced him fully, taking in his downcast gaze, his eyes refused to meet yours, and his head stayed bowed. You once again felt your heart break. Did he really think so little of you? Did he take you for someone so superficial? You had shown him never ending understanding, did he really think you’d just stop because of his powers? Did he really only think of your love as pity?

“Why would I do that?” You asked, eyes locked on him with determination. 

He glanced at you before quickly correcting himself and kept his eyes down, “...I have a curse, and I don’t want to burden you.” You blinked blankly at his idiocracy. Curse? How could the man who lit your heart aflame be a curse or a burden? You longed for his company, for his attention, couldn’t he feel your admiration? Had you really hidden your feelings that well?

“You’re not a burden,” You huffed, trying to keep your frustration in check. He had clearly been hurt, and you didn’t want to add to it. “And I don’t think of it as a curse.” Before he could rebuttal your claims, the teacher had waved everyone’s attention to the front.

It was rare for you to see Abyss outside of class. Although Magia Lupus had disbanded for an unknown reason, your worlds still seemed to be vastly distant. His smooth voice called your name, you looked up from the book you were currently reading. As hard as you tried not to, your gaze lingered on his left eye, memorizing the intricate detail that it held. But you knew it was a sore spot for him, so you tried to dial back your reverence.

His face was solemn, his eyes meeting your own for the first time, “There have only been a few people who have looked over my abilities. Fewer have actually let me stay by their side. It seems that your kindness is greater than I thought, and for that I thank you.”

You weren’t sure what to feel. Your heart fluttered at the unadulterated gratitude that showed in his eyes, yet it felt crushed by how terribly others have treated him. An overwhelming feeling consumed you, a feeling of wanting to shower him in all the affection and love he needed and more. This feeling shocked you, as you’ve never felt so strongly towards another before, and it somewhat scared you.

“Abyss,” You mumbled, restraining yourself from jumping at him to engulf him in a hug. He looked anxious, cheeks reddening slightly as he glanced away. You stood up, unable to hold back your affections. Giving in to your own desires selfishly, you indeed engulfed him in a hug. You squeezed him lightly, hoping your feelings got across to the beautifully sad man you held. 

His body tensed under your touch, and you went to pull away, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but his arms wrapped around you before you could move. His touch was gentle as he unsurely held you back. The two of you stood like that for a good while, taking in the comfort the other brought. When you finally pulled away, Abyss couldn’t meet your eyes, this time out of fluster. His cheeks were painted a deep red as he fumbled with his hands. A bright smile shown across your face at the display. Once again, you were astounded how the world could turn such a sweetheart away.

A boost of confidence overtook you at Abyss’ bashful display, “I really like you, and nothing will change that.”

That seemed to be the finishing move as he passed out.

Next Page ⟶

[evilfrogcereal29]

Pizza guy!Nikto - Chapter 1

(ok... This is going to be like, maybe one of the most weirdly specific fanfics you've ever read. For context: I work at a pizza place IRL. Thats it. Thats the only context. I was at work and. Thought about Nikto working there too. That's all you need to know. Enjoy :]!!!

This is going to be a Nikto x GN!customer!reader, but reader is NOT introduced in this chapter.

Cw/tws: mentions of violence- including towards an animal! I think thats all? Enjoy :)!!

NOTE: all text in red & italics are Nikto's voices

Nikto was bored.

Retirement was miserable, and Nikto found himself restless day in, and day out. Unable to find peace while wasting away at home. Sure, he had lot's of retirement money, but he had this urge to work, to kill. He would give anything to be on a plane to another mission right about now, but he was too 'broken'. That's what they basically told him. Too mentally unwell to keep working. A hazard to his own team.

Heh.

What the fuck do they know? They don't know what goes on in his head. So what he broke that recruit's arm? They touched him when he warned them of the consequences. Or who cares that he hit one of his higher-up's service dogs with the buggy? It should've been servicing it's owner, not under the damn vehicle! He's not a danger, the other voices are!

Speaking of voices, they aren't reacting well either, metaphorically biting away at Nikto's psyche each day he did fucking nothing. He felt useless, and they reminded him of that. You idiot, you deserve your suffering for being the way you are. Broken. Broken little solider.

He still gets calls from his mates in the service, especially Krueger, who always makes sure to call as often as possible to keep the man updated on missions, even if they didn't concern him anymore. He suggested that Nikto pick up a part-time job, not for the money, but the work. God (and Krueger) only knows what Nikto's mind gets upto when left to its own devices.

Nikto scoffed at first, he didn't like the idea of working at some measley fast food job, he was above that. He crawled through the fucking trenches and ripped out the throats of women and men, and would be reduced to... What? Cleaning a fucking stove? Heating up processed foods for weak civilians? No. He wouldn't. The voices mocked him, this is what we've been reduced to? Patheic.

And then the rot set in.

Krueger had been very insistant on a visit the second he had time away from work, flying out to see Nikto even as the man ignored his texts and calls. He wasn't dead, Krueger knew that, but he also wasn't in a good place. He couldn't let his companion live like this pathetic slob. Cause that's exactly what he was becoming.

Water and alcohol bottles littered the floor, stacks on stacks of old, half eaten take-out. Junk that should’ve been tossed long ago created walled barriers throughout the house. It was a scene out of horders, and the smell was awful. Christ. Krueger was no clean freak, but this? He'd rather sleep next to corpses than this cesspool of rotting filfth, and in the middle of it all, sat his balaclava-ed, smelly friend on the sofa. Krueger grimmaced, taking careful steps. He nearly stepped on poor Sputnik, who had become content with spending her days lazying about, peeing in places without Nikto's knowledge, and eating off his leftover scraps of food, growing just as lethargic as her owner.

"Nikto... Scheiße..” he would almost be outraged at the man’s carelessness if he didn’t understand how the other functioned, without a job, without a purpose, Nikto was truly a nobody. He lifted the man’s head with a gentleness, an action only someone like Krueger could get away with, looking into those glazed-over icy blues.

“This is… this is bad Nikto..” he mutters, eyes filled with..love? Concern? Something Nikto wasn’t used to often. Nikto finally shows evidence of life as his eyes flicker up in wordless understanding. Krueger continues,

"I can't stand to see you like this. You can't stand being like this. I'm going to help you."

Krueger lifts his friend up, albiet with mild arguing and growling from the disguntled bear of a man that Nikto is. He sets Nikto's cheap laptop on his lap and types in job sites, which already has Nikto tense.

"Krueger- чёрт побери! you're acting like my fucking mother-"

"good, about time someone comes in and wipes your ass, if not yourself." Krueger grumbles, scrolling through the job offers, "what's your SNILS...?"

After a painstaking back and forth, and Krueger prying for all of Nikto's personal info, he sent in a few applications on his friend's behalf. Patting the other on the back as Nikto's thumbs rubbed at his temples, fighting back the urge to pulverize his only real friend. You really should, he's a nuisance...

"this is... Not ideal.." Nikto finally grumbles, finishing the last of some lukewarm whisky from the bottle.

"none of this is, meine freund, but this...Is worse." Noone has ever seen them like this, so...domestic. In reality, this was as hard for Krueger as it was for Nikto, The Alligence wasn't the same without the Russian, fighting wasn't the same. Krueger rested a hand on his shoulder.

"everything is going to change, can you try to change a little with it?"

Change? Krueger wanted him to change? Was that even possible? He'd been so set in his ways ever since the incident. But the look in Krueger eyes let Nikto know that there wasn't really a choice.

What are you kidding? You could change as far as you could throw a boulder! Never!

He sighed, deeply. His shoulders slumping miserably as he exhaled.

"fine. But If we don't like the job-"

"ja, ja, you don't have to stay. I get it. I can't make you." He interupted, waving his hand dismissively, "but don't just give up right away. Can you promise me that?"

Nikto hated making promises, he hated feeling like he owed anyone anything, he didn't take on debts or deals. Go ahead, make more promises you can't keep. We know the truth.

Yet here he was, being interviewed by an elderly couple, who pitied him for his past as a solider.

"me and Martha are going to see how you fair in the kitchen, and if that's turns out to be too overwhelming we can move you to a more simple job like delivery. Just bring the customers their pizzas." The eldery man said with an acknowledging smile.

He nodded to the man, Michael, reaching across the table to shake his hand, thanking him begrudgingly for this... 'Opportunity'. Thats damn well what it was, but Nikto didn't quite see it that way yet. As he left with a work shirt displaying the place's name and logo, he felt his heart drop. And a shrill, annoying voice invading his mind.

You are truely a fucking Развалюха. Good luck ever trying to live a normal life!

And now Nikto was worried.

------------------------------------------------------

Hai :3 I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, I wanted to introduce reader in this first part but it was getting long and I also just wanted to get something out. There will be more chapters for this, but they might be kind of slow to come out😭 work takes up a LOT of my time tbh, but also working inspires me cause...yk pizza place setting so- its a double edged sword. But if you enjoyed pls like and reblog it means sm♥️♥️ ty for reading!!

And to the person who sent me an ask in my inbox about the relationship dynamics between NiktoKrueger + criminal!reader, I see u and ur creative vision, I started writing something today in response ;) just gimme some time!!!

Also an @ list for some mooties who I think would like to see this :3

@simp4konig @lizzy019 @fishsinsareacknowledged @zoloftwithdrawalnausea sorry If I missed anyone, lmk if you'd like to be tagged (or not tagged) in future chapters!!

[alessiamalfoyzabini]

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨

Pairing | Yandere Jungkook x Reader

Word Count | 1,672

Warnings | +18, bullying, attempted sexual harassment, panic attack

This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.

Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.

⤷ Summary | If she had paid attention earlier to the sin that dwelt behind those obsidian irises, she would never have trusted it.

If she had noticed earlier the devouring love that dwelled in his corrupt heart, she probably would have fled.

She had done none of that, and now she had to come to terms with her new reality.

➢ Author's Note | I'm back with the second chapter of Happy Ending, I hope you can enjoy it 🥰❤

Chapter List - I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII / The End

Toward the end of class, some had already turned in their drawings, others had yet to finish, and Jungkook intimated that they should bring them the next time they saw each other. Y/N shakily got up from her seat, sent down too much saliva as she came within a few steps of the boy, who lifted his face in her direction, giving her a warm smile. "Y/N! Are you done?" The girl nodded, unable to verbalize her thoughts, so she placed the drawing on the desk, bending down a bit, this gave Jungkook a chance to get a better peek at how she was dressed that day, drinking in the sight of her legs and imagining how soft and creamy they might be in his adoring hands. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing the most unruly strands back, and Y/N froze, following his movements with her eyes.

"Wow, Y/N...great job, as always," he complimented, proud that his good girl had done such a detailed job of depicting the disembodied cloud with shapeless, skeletal hands-that to her was bullying, something no adult could see, but which managed to trap its victims in a spiral of suffering and muteness. The girl blushed at his words, bowing slightly before reaching her seat. Behind her back she sensed a slight snort that caused her to stiffen. Jungkook had to leave the command to another colleague, stared disgruntled at the girl, but vowed to do something for her, or rather, for both of them. He would not let that terrible pattern continue, Y/N deserved better, in his arms he would be able to give her the happiness and love she lacked, as he could clearly see.

And so the day continued, until it was time to return home.

Y/N hurriedly packed her things, the threat of Yoozu loomed over her, and anxiously walked out of the classroom. She didn't greet anyone, and no one greeted her, she looked fearfully at every corner of the corridors, a hustle and bustle of students and teachers did not allow her to increase her pace, she found herself pushing through the crowd almost in desperation, she wanted anything but to be in the jaws of her classmate. Oh, if only she had known... "So, beggar!" someone brutally grabbed her by the arm, pulling her to him right outside the university, Yoozu stared at her with anger concealed behind a fake smile, "We still haven't discussed the slap you so kindly printed on my face," he growled.

Y/N felt herself dying, she tried to wriggle out of her companion's firm grip, but it proved utterly useless, the boy's icy fingers pressed on her tender skin without restraint. "Let go of me! Let go of me, Yoozu!" she exclaimed in panic, her breathing shorter and her heartbeat faster, but he if possible painfully increased his grip on her wrist, painful bruises would appear shortly. "Not so fast, first you have to pay me back for the shit you made me look like today," he hissed, dragging her toward a more secluded alley, Y/N grabbed the mirror of a car parked nearby in a desperate attempt to save herself, but Yoozu was much stronger than she was, "Be good, I'll only need your mouth, then I'll let you go for today." Those words were the straw, the girl began to scream and call for help, Yoozu immediately plugged her mouth but it was too late. Someone had heard her, and that someone was smoking with rage.

"What the hell is going on here?" The quiet but unusually dangerous voice made the boy pale, and he suddenly let go of his grip on the girl. Y/N fell to the ground with momentum, right at the feet of someone she knew. She lifted her gaze and caught the icy expression on Jungkook's handsome face; she also seemed to catch a glimpse of murderous fury in his irises, but in fact she could not be one hundred percent certain. "I... nothing, I just wanted to apologize to Y/N for today," Yoozu dared to say, but Jungkook did not buy that pathetic excuse. "Is that so? It would seem anything but to me." Jungkook had seen the whole scene, had even managed to hear those vulgar words that had screwed up his self-control. "Professor, it really went like this! But Y/N didn't understand, she thought that-" a sob interrupted his absurd explanations, Jungkook's heart clenched, as did his eyes. "Kang Yoozu, you are expelled." "Wait, what! You can't do that! You are not the principal, and on the basis of what then?!" Yoozu panicked, Jungkook found it disgusting. "I'm not the principal, but I'm on good terms with him, as for the motivation...how does attempted rape sound to you?" he asked wryly, making the boy gasp. No, with such a charge no other university would have accepted him and his parents would have sent him to some godforsaken place in shame. "Professor, can we talk about this? Please, this will ruin my life," he prayed agitatedly, admitting his real intentions that way. "The more I listen to you, the more I want to ruin something else too! Get out of my sight, Kang!" he shouted furiously, Yoozu at first seemed not to understand, then casting a glance at Y/N's kneeling figure he took a step back and began to run.

Jungkook inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself somehow, he couldn't believe what had happened before his own eyes, he turned to the girl and felt only immense pain, she was on her knees on the icy asphalt wet with rain, she kept holding her head in her hands, trying to stifle her sobs. He lowered himself in her direction, god, she was beautiful even with her face overflowing with tears. He brought two fingers under her chin, gently forcing her to lift her face to his, chaining their eyes together. "Hey, Y/N..." he gently blew on her, gathering the tears that ran down her full cheeks with his thumbs, "Are you okay?"

If possible, Y/N exploded into more sobs, throwing herself on her professor. She pushed into his chest seeking comfort, Jungkook was frozen for a moment, he did not expect such a reaction from the girl, his heartstrings tugged filling with warmth, he returned the embrace immediately, holding that tender body to him. "It will never end," she cried into his neck, breathing hard between sobs and bathing the boy's skin with warm salt water, "It will always be like this." Jungkook stroked her hair, imprinting the sweet scent of her on his mind, mentally whispering to her that no, it would not be like this anymore, that he would protect her. "No, Y/N... I'll talk to the principal, they won't hurt you anymore, trust me," he said instead continuing to gently caress her back, having her like this was like a dream just realized, he didn't even know how long he had wanted it, "Can you trust me, Y/N?" He moved her face away from his chest, seeking a clear answer from her, he wanted to be sure she wanted his help. Y/N let a trembling sigh escape, nodding. Jungkook's eyes were so sincere and crystal clear that it was natural for her to trust him, although her body still trembled at the mere thought of what Yoozu wanted to do to her. "Yes, I can," she murmured, Jungkook felt the need to kiss her just then, she was so polite and tender his little girl, who knows if she would have said the same begging him to give her more.

"I'll drive you home, Y/N, I have my car right next door, okay?" the young woman nodded without thinking much about it, her mind still too shocked by recent events to really think. Jungkook helped her up, escorting her to his car as if she had been a little doll in his hands. They both climbed into the vehicle and Jungkook got directions to find their way, cast a glance at the younger woman's legs, his hand itching to touch them, but he forced himself not to go too far for the moment. Rather, he focused on the magnificent smell of his favorite student, but the closer he got to his destination, the more he found himself turning up his nose. He didn't like that neighborhood; it was one of the most dangerous in the fucking city. Every day on the news there were reports of robberies, or worse. He cast a sidelong glance at the girl, wondering how she had survived in that place so far. Knowing her in that bad place upset him in no small part, and when they reached the apartment building Jungkook's gaze grew hard-they could all get to those windows, they were pretty old, too.

"Well, I live here, professor! Thank you for the ride and... for the help," she found herself saying impishly, Jungkook melted into yet another smile that day, the real and sincere ones were all for her, she just didn't know it yet. "Just ask, Y/N...and I'll be here for you," he said earnestly, the girl nodded, unable to respond and opened the door to get out of the car, gave one last wave and then ran inside. Leaving behind the eager gaze of her teacher. She closed the door to her apartment behind her back, a deep warm throbbing did not hint at leaving her anytime soon.

Jungkook's presence was all she could think about, she let herself slide against the surface of the door, in her mind were imprinted images of the man holding the steering wheel firmly in his strong hands, his muscular arms still uncovered and damp with rain, seemed strong enough to carry her without any effort at all, not to mention how he had defended her without too much trouble, quietly defying the economic power of Yoozu's parents, she clutched her legs to her chest, hiding her red face between them. Damn, she was really in love.

[xxnghtclls]

A little spontaneous analysis on Sukuna and his view on love and rejection that I blurted out while reading about Heian Era marriage this morning 🤓

That Sukuna panel came to mind with him saying, he’s “a cursed, unwanted little wretch”. (I was told “hated” was another way to translate it, but it’s the same in the end).

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts using this specific translation. However Sukuna is a complex character and nothing is black and white and I’m probably heavily cherry picking here or reading way too much into this more than I should or would be necessary. 😆 WELL

Somehow it struck to me that one of the FEW things we know about Sukuna, is that he never married or bore any children. This is even more interesting, considering the fact that in the JJK verse, we do have a few absent wifes/lovers to name, that we know little to nothing about. Be it Megumi‘s mother, Kaori or a nonexistent wife of Sukuna. People often claim that Sukuna is a virgin, cause he didn’t marry or had kids. This is a whole other discussion, but this claim kept lingering in my head and made me think about marriage in the first place. Marriage and children often being a wholesome concept of love in our modern understanding, I first thought the marriage thing to be in connection to his claim to love being useless, that he not even once had interest in love. I think there‘s more to that.

(although I do think that someone who claims that love is worthless kinda sounds heartbroken, but yeah anyway)

But then I thought „wait we’re speaking ancient times, did love play any role in marriage anyway?“

We still don‘t know the social status in which Sukuna was born in, but in regards to heian era, marriage was first and foremost a thing to secure and show social status. Marriages out of love weren‘t common, even seen as unrealistic.

Marriages were mostly arranged, often when they were still teenagers even. And this is what caught my attention. Sukuna says he was born a cursed unwanted little wretch and I first assumed this claim purely focuses on his parents and his early childhood.

But given the social norms in heian era, what if it also meant that he was literally unable to marry later on, that he wasn’t just unwanted by his by his parents, but by a possible spouse as well? Him saying he was “cursed and unwanted” indicates that it was a state he was put in, not a state he sought out to be. You could even argue, that him saying he was “unwanted” or “hated” even required him not wanting to be treated that way. Which child would want that? Which makes it even more interesting that he says, that he never thought about needing someone else to fulfill him. In connection to what I said before, it could almost sound hateful. As well as this moment here, which always occurred to me as if he said it from own experience.

Because when you grow up in a surrounding that hates & repels you, it makes sense that you grow indifferent to society, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it was always that way. Him being unwanted makes so much sense in connection with him saying, that he focuses solely on himself and that he has complete disregard to others. Which makes sense, when it’s a result of not having anybody who wants or loves you. It leaves you with yourself and yourself only.

I know a lot of you really wanna fight the thought of Sukuna having a hard childhood but who cares honestly? I don‘t think it would make him less of a strong character. Every human is the result of their surroundings and as stated, Sukuna is human too. Based on that, you could even argue that the only kind of love he knows and sees as the real love, was an aggressive one. This would explain why he sees the slaughter of those who fought Kashimo as love.

Ok back to marriage! When I read about marriage, there was another thing that caught my attention and that was poetry! We know Sukuna is a little nerd, who is eager to learn and it’s indicated that he even enjoyed poetry. (His immediate reaction to Yorozu‘s Haiku being that it lacks the seasonal word.) Back then, when someone was about to apply for marriage, what did they do? Yeah right, they wrote letters to someone.

As I stated above, you could assume that there was a time, where Sukuna was not utterly hateful and indifferent to social contacts (I know that’s a reach, but that’s up for interpretation as long as we don’t know his backstory.)

If we assume, that Sukuna was born looking the way he looks, then it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a lot of rejection involved in the way the proposal was practised as described above. I don‘t wanna paint Sukuna as the poor rejected here, but idk maybe he was.

We all eagerly await Sukuna‘s backstory and I‘m so excited to learn about him. This suddenly turned into an analysis of Sukuna and his view on love and whatnot, but please remember, I’m not saying that any of this might have actually happened.

It’s just some connections my brain made while reading about marriage and thinking about some of the stuff that Sukuna said. I just had to write it down.

Here‘s the source: click

[bangchanisinmymind]

sunday

pairing; bangchan x reader; smut

sunday afternoon, needy, waiting for chris to come back from work in your shared living room. you were laid on the couch; back facing the ceiling and your legs almost open and waiting for him as the first thing someone would see after just opening the door was you.

the time was passing and you becoming more horny just by the thought of your partner once again even though you just had sex last night you just needed a little more of him. the sound of his keys and the following of the door opening and closing signalled you that your lover was home.

you didn't even care to move or greet him, you just spread your legs a little more for him causing your tiny poor of shorts to ride up and expose the lower part of your ass.

" how's my girl doing today?" he let out slapping your exposed skin leaving his things next to the other foot of the couch and kneeling next to your face pulling your phone down to give him attention.

"just missing you" you muttered already feeling arousal pooling in your panties and unconsciously pressing your face a little more on the pillow and lifting your hips a little bit.

" wow still not satisfied from yesterday? can't ever get enough of my cock can you?" "never I could take you forever " you said with a smile on your lips as you continued your previous actions.

" then who am i to leave my babygirl waiting" he said standing up " lemme take you to the bed okay? we won't be comfortable here" he didn't wait for an answer, he just took you to your bedroom and threw you on the bed undressing himself and leaving only his underwear.

you were kinda taken aback by his actions but his almost hard dick showed you weren't the only one needing help. your top had ridden up revealing half of your chest and it was once again pressed against the sheets as he adjusted you on your previous position but now your legs kneeled exposing most of your butt and now the shorts and your underwear were completely useless.

" that's my pretty girl she's ready for me always isn't she? so she deserves a reward right?" he said as he noticed the wet patch on your shorts and pressing his nose against it. the sound you made was an extremely high pitched needy moan.

"if you're this loud already the whole block will know my name tomorrow" he whispered in your ear now his fingers brushing your clothed clit. " isn't that the point?" you whispered looking at him in the eyes and that devilish smile.

he smacked your ass once again taking off your top making you whine and shiver. his hands on your waist holding you against his clothed erection and rubbing softly leaving a few sighs at the connection.

after a few good seconds he pulled away removing your shorts and underwear in once leaving you completely naked smirking at the sight of your soaked underwear.

he stared for a few seconds on your sex admiring how it was all and everywhere wet and throbbing begging to be filled making his cock twitch in his boxers. although the cold breeze did nothing to make you comfortable but he quickly came to the rescue by kissing your open cunt.

your breathing got heavier and he spread your legs a little more swimming in your body leaving a few kisses on your inner thighs before standing up guiding his cock to your entrance.

" no fingers for today huh, my needy girl can take it right?" he kissed your hip " yes daddy please been waiting for so long please" you muffled between the pillows lost in the feeling.

"alright here's your reward" he said before simply bottoming you out and staying still for a few seconds for you to adjust his length. you gasped for air unable to speak or even moan as he started moving in a fast pace. your legs now felt like jelly and you had completely given up on trying to stand up.

his strong arms kept you in place as he thrusted into you multiple times. he kept his pace steady for a couple minutes before you felt your release coming closer.

"am- am clo- close ah-" was the only thing you could let out feeling his hand travelling to your clit rubbing it bringing you closer to the edge.

your cum was all over yours and his hips as he continued thrusting until he reached his hight too. "my pretty girl taking my cock so well milking it all in just a few minutes" he breathed out and you felt hot thick stripes of his liquid painting your walls.

he turned you around and embraced you in a warm hug resting his back on the head of the bed. still smiling and all fucked out you looked up to him your hands on his shoulders and chest. he stroked a few stray strands off your face and kissed you goodnight

© @/bangchanisinmymind on tumblr | do not translate or copy my work without permission {feedback is highly appreciated! comment/DM for requests!}masterlist

[citronverveine]

xie lian and identity issues

this is something i'll probably want to expand on more as i give it more thoughts later but right now i'm just. thinking.

i'm thinking of xie lian in book 2 who has to realize that he is not as invicible as he thought. he is powerful yet he cannot do enough. he is not enough. he cannot save his country, he cannot help the common people, if anything he makes it worse.

i'm thinking of xie lian in book 4 who has to get used to a life with no title, no riches, no priviledge. he has to live as no one, and if people find him out he will not be celebrated like he used to be, he will be captured, beaten, or worse, who knows.

i'm thinking of xie lian after being stabbed 100 times, so disconnected from his destroyed body that he can't recognize himself. i'm thinking of xie lian becoming white no face, hiding his face and seeking revenge, turning his back on everything he was before.

i'm thinking of xie lian after wuming's death, after changing his mind and not cursing the Yong'an people but causing the death of his last believer in the process. the distance between what he would have wanted to be and what he ended up being, doing.

i'm thinking of xie lian in mount tong'lu learning about the past of white no face and starting to think they're the same person. thinking maybe he was the one doing all this. thinking this was all meant to be.

it's just, like. young xie lian was so ambitious, and rightly so; everyone told him he could achieve anything, be anything, he ascended so early, was so powerful and so loved so early on. he started high, only to jump from heaven and land terribly low, in a 6-feet deep hole, unable to crawl out of it. the distance between what he was and what he ended up as. i know the war took a couple years to end but the change was still probably very brutal for him.

especially during his first banishment. at first it could have been alright. he had his parents. he had feng xin. he had mu qing. everything was new and unfamiliar and wrong but he had them, he knew them, they were familiar at least. even if xie lian had failed they were still with him, they still loved him.

and then mu qing left. and xie lian's view of relationships started to shatter. and then he was against mu qing on the land of cultivation and he was the one being humiliated and rejected. and then he was losing himself with the stress of white no face, becoming crazy with anguish and despair. and he couldn't provide enough for his parents, and he was afraid feng xin would leave, and he couldn't recognize himself. how had he fallen so low? how had he failed so much?

and then the temple. he wanted to fight white no face, to get rid of him once and for all. but white no face broke him without even lifting a finger. he shattered his faith in the goodness of the world by showing him how cruel it could be. and afterwards...

just think. being tortured for a whole night, used by hundreds of people for their own benefit, left torn open and raw without care. but you heal and you recover and your body hides any trace of that event. did you really go through it? did it really happen? did it happen like you think it did? was it really that bad? was the pain that severe? your body hid it all. you'll never know. the only thing you have are you memories. but can you trust them?

anyway. after that, xie lian comes back to his parents and feng xin. he steals. he doesn't care. he's angry, he's raw, he's weak. feng xin leaves. his parents leave. he's alone.

he's completely alone. he doesn't even have himself anymore. his old self is dead, his old self was nothing, his old self was naive and stupid. xie lian trying to kill himself even though it's useless is symbolic of him completely leaving his old self with his parents and what was familiar, to become someone else entirely. to abandon this part of himself.

it's explicit as white no face that xie lian completely rejects his previous identity of crown prince and god. he does not want to be called that. he does not want to be reminded of it. he hates this past self so much that being associated to it makes him feel humiliated and ridiculed.

only that old part of him is not entirely dead. xie lian still hesitates, deep down, to release the spirits. a part of him still wants to believe. he wants to be proven wrong. he wants the world to give naive xie lian another chance. it's the bamboo hat man that does that for him.

i just think the distance between xie lian, his body, and his mind, is very interesting. i didn't mention how he is completely disconnected from his body even 800 years later because i feel like it's more dissociation from the self than an identity issue (struggling to connect your thoughts to your actions and/or associate them with your perception of self, or even simply not having any definite perception of self especially when you are traumatized) but. i'll definitely make a post about that some day.

that was a bit long but i just. wanted to put some thoughts down. thx for reading up til here ??

[krazyyyyyy]

Hey hey! I love your Geo (and Hyugo) work so much I wanted to make a request! If this is too much, or potentially graphic, just ignore this. :] Geo x reader who's suicidal/depressed, but hides it well. (totally not mirroring here nooo) Or Hyugo with the same prompt. Or both, whatever you want. Thank you in advance either way, and I hope you have an excellent week!

Always by your side ( Hyugo/ Depressed Reader)

TW: Suicidal thoughts, Mentions of Drug usage

Words: 1284

Notes: I'm so sorry if you're going through some difficult times at the moment. I hope this short little fic gives you a bit of comfort.

 When will it go away? Does it ever go away? Are you stuck with this? The heavy weight of misery tugs on your heart, causing a lingering ache in your chest that shows no signs of fading. You struggled to catch your breath, as your anxieties got the better of you, making you feel small and vulnerable.

You just wanted it all to end, the pain, the misery….everything. Every day, you woke up, things only got worse; food started to lose its taste, colors lost the vibrancy that used to bewitch you, and your hobbies seemed pointless and useless. At night, you would lie awake unable to sleep with the same question repeating in your head: ‘Is life worth living?’

You lean against your hands, which were clamped on your bathroom sink's counter. You raise your head to look at yourself in the mirror; you looked a mess–a broken mess, with tears streaming down your cheeks and your hair out of place. What were you going to do with yourself?

A sudden tapping from outside the bathroom door startles you.“Y/N? You okay in there?” Hyugo’s muffled voice speaks from the other side of the door

You’re quick to wipe away the tears with the sleeves of your hoodie, composing yourself to the best of your abilities before speaking. How long have you been in here?

“Y-yeah, I’ll be out in a sec!” You prayed that he didn’t hear the strain in your voice, the last thing you wanted to do was worry him.

“Are you sure?” He persisted

“… Yeah, just need a minute.” You lay your head in your hands, as an instant migraine overwhelms you.

You hear him sigh, “Okay… Let me know if you need anything.” Faint footsteps let you know that he had walked away from the door, more than likely heading to the living room to watch another Sherlock Homes movie.

… Your pills… you have to go take your pills… they might be able to clear your head from all these dark thoughts. You hated having to rely on them every time you felt like this… but what other choice did you have?

You hated yourself even more, given the fact you took the pills behind Hyugo’s back. He remained unaware of your current mental state, as you did well to push all your feelings deep down inside, and then wear a smile to cover it all up. You hoped that your condition would get better with time and would disappear one day. But, instead, it got much worse with each passing day. Yet, you still didn’t have the heart to tell him about it; you knew he’d do anything to help you get better, but you couldn’t let him drop everything to help you…you didn’t deserve that from him.

After adjusting yourself, you give one last look in the mirror, before rushing out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. You kept the antidepressants hidden underneath a stack of clothes in your dresser, somewhere you thought Hyugo would never find them.

You’re quick to open and search the contents of the drawer for the pills, but to your horror, they are nowhere to be found. In an act of sheer desperation, you search through every single drawer in hopes that you have just misplaced them by mistake. Alas, the medication is still missing, meaning you would just have to go on without them until you got a new bottle. 

Your body shook anxiously, feeling the intense waves of depression hit you like a steel drum. There had to be something you could do to get rid of the emptiness that started to overwhelm you… Maybe watching that movie with Hyugo would take your mind off things…hopefully.

Closing all the drawers of your dresser, you stand up and start making your way toward the living room, which is right down the hall from your bedroom. 

After walking the short distance, you make it, but are immediately confused to find Hyugo standing in the middle of the living room with his back turned to you. He seemed to be intently looking at something he held in hand.

“Hyugo?” You called out to him, as you stepped closer to where he was standing. He remained unmoving where he stood, making you think he didn’t hear you at first. But after a brief moment, he finally turned his body to face you. He looked at you with worry and hurt in his eyes, nearly on the verge of tears. It broke your heart to see him look at you this way, and just when you were about to ask him what was wrong; your gaze shifted to what he held in his hand, and you instantly felt your heart drop.

In his hand, were the pills you had desperately tried to keep hidden from him for the longest time. Your secret was out, and now you had to deal with the backlash that came with it; this wasn’t something Hyugo wouldn’t let go so easily.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He gestures toward the pill bottle in his hand, his voice filled with deep hurt. After being together for a few months, he believed you two could tell each other anything…or at least he thought so. While you were in the bathroom, Hyugo, who could tell you were unwell, had opted to help you with some unfinished chores around your apartment. While putting away some of your folded clothes, he discovered the pills, and upon finding them, he felt his heart shatter. His mind was swarmed with questions, ‘Did you not trust him?’ ‘Was he the reason for your unhappiness?’

You choked back on a sob, “… I-I’m so sorry… I couldn’t… You shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Why should someone as bright and jovial as Hyugo have to deal with your darker, and painful inner struggles? This was supposed to be your fight…not his. 

Hyugo’s expression softens at your words. The hurt he had felt was eclipsed by the concern he had for you and your well-being. With the pill bottle falling to the floor, he reached out toward you, gently cupping your face in his hands, “Hey,” he spoke softly, with a warm smile on his face, “You don’t take to go through this alone, Whatever it is you're going through, I'm going to help through it. I’m here for you, always.”

Tears well up in your eyes as you meet his gaze, feeling the comfort and safety that his eyes often reflect. It hadn’t left completely, but the burden you felt had gotten just a bit lighter. With the unwavering support you received from your boyfriend, there was finally a glimpse of hope for the future.

“… I just…didn’t want to worry you,” you admit, tears streaming down your face. “I thought… I thought I could handle it on my own…”

Hyugo leaned down to press a soft kiss where a stray tear lingered on your cheek. “You don’t have to do anything by yourself, not when I’m here.” He said, his voice firm yet still cordial. He didn’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck.“I love you, but please don’t hide things like this from me anymore.”

Wrapping your arms around him, you rest your chin on his shoulder, relishing his warmth. “I won’t… I promise,”. From your response, you can feel Hyugo smile into the base of your neck.

You may have a long journey ahead you toward getting better, but with Hyugo at your side, it felt as though you could accomplish anything.

And you couldn’t be any more grateful.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

BEN scenario visiting the grave of his Y/N please

BEN spends all of his time after you pass between two places, either his bedroom or visiting your grave. He can't stand to be around other people, but he also can't stand to be alone without you. He misses you more than he ever thought it possible to miss someone, and it leads him to lay and sit around your grave most of the time, and sometimes he even sleeps out there beside you, camping out and refusing to leave your grave. When he's in his room, he's either burying himself in his work or forcing himself to play games to make himself focus on something other than missing you.

BEN barely even truly enjoys games anymore, as he can no longer play them with you. The others are also growing concerned at the rate that he's handling his work, as he's working himself far too hard, and while as a ghost he doesn't technically need to sleep, working for 18 hours straight isn't healthy in the slightest bit. Even when resting next to your grave, he always has his work laptop or a handheld game console in his hands, unable to just rest and come to terms with the fact that you're gone. Now, as he sits beside your grave, his back resting against your tombstone, he has his face buried into his Switch, clicking away at the buttons as he tries to ignore the growing emotions in his chest.

-

"I changed around the formation of my island again. It was annoying having to move everyone's houses again, but I really like the new design. It was the one I told you about last month before--" He cuts himself off, sniffling as he goes back to running around his Animal Crossing island.

Before you had died. He had told you about his plans before you had died, and that had been the cause of him putting it off so long. He'd thought to himself that if he did anything he'd told you about before the day you died, that it would be a show of proof that you were gone. That he was progressing and moving forward while you had to stay behind. 

"Should I... Change it back..?" His words are a whisper as he stares down at his Switch, and it's not until wet droplets start hitting his screen that he realizes he's crying. 

He looks up, away from his screen, and it's the first time he takes a moment to notice his surroundings since he's been visiting you. The tall, protective trees hanging overhead. The beautifully blooming flowers that decorate the surrounding area. The gifts surrounding your grave, placed there by other members of the mansion. The words stamped into your tombstone to commemorate you. The violent shaking of his shoulders, the loud cries escaping his lips as he turns around, clinging to the stone as he shuts his eyes, trying to close out the world once again.

"It was my fault...! I assigned you to that mission...!! I did this!!" He screams out, sobbing and weeping and finally letting all of the tears he'd been fighting so desperately to hold inside out. 

BEN has been feeling extremely tremendous guilt since your passing. He was the one who assigned everyone to their missions, and he had been useless to protect you from harm as you died that night. He felt himself hyperventilating as he sank to the ground, his hands gripping the grass covering where you'll rest eternally.

"What a disgusting person I am... I'd even wished that you'd have come back to me as a ghost, even though that means you would have had to have an extremely traumatic death... How horrible of me, even after being the one to cause your death inadvertently... But I just miss you so much!" He screams out again, choking on his breath and heaving, gagging as he tries not to throw up from anxiety and the overwhelming emotions taking over him.

He lays there like that for what feels like hours, sobbing and choking on air, despite the fact that as a ghost he doesn't even need to breathe, but he can't seem to remember that with all the emotions flowing through him. Eventually, he collapses, lying motionless and staring blankly ahead of himself. 

"Maybe I should just... Disappear...? Would that make up for my sins...?" His voice is broken and scratchy when it comes out of him in a whisper, and he chuckles sadly at himself as he nuzzles into the ground below him where you rest.

"What am I even saying..? You'd yell at me for that if you were here... Tell me I'm being too hard on myself..." He sniffles loudly, whining as he feels more tears prickling in his eyes. 

"I just want to be with you forever... Even if it means I just never leave this spot ever again. I've considered it before." He whispers again, his eyelids growing heavy despite his body not needing sleep, his brain simply overworked from his emotional outbursts. A deep, heaving sigh leaves his body as he finally closes his eyes, resting above you.

"Goodnight, honey... I love you... Let's sleep here together forever, okay...?"

[i-heart-hxh]

hi! so ive been so confused/unsure abt why killua's reaction to palm saying "you are the one gon needs most" looked like he was devastated. ive thought of different reasons on why he had that reaction:

1) he got scared/devastated/stressed at the fact that he was the only one who could really help gon at that moment, but he was so sure he was useless cuz he couldn't even snap gon back to his own senses. so its like "if i—the closest help there is to gon—can't help him, then who/what else can?" and so the overwhelming thoughts of gon possibly dying haunts him.

2) he couldn't believe that he's the one gon really needs the most after assuming that palm probably placed higher than him already, and was fully convinced gon cares more about palm more than him. but then palm says she cant even compare to killua, which gave him that reaction .... i guess its like relief but portrayed in a painful way cuz of his self worth issues.

3) he got pressured by the thought of being the one gon will always rely on the most. anything bad that happens to gon will always depend on what killua would do abt it. and killua always worries and sacrifices too much when it comes to gon, so pressure just added up.

aaaand this is making my brain all scrambled (TT) i wanted to ask if u have a clearer answer for this..? i trust ur judgement a lot (｡-人-｡)

Hello! Aw, I appreciate that you trust my judgment, that's sweet of you to say. ❤️ I'll do my best to explain my take on Killua's expression in this scene!

So, I think his reaction of shock and looking devastated is primarily from the first set of reasons you brought up. He already tried to step in and stop Gon and got pushed away and told that the situation with Kite is none of his business essentially. Being rejected like that and being unable to change Gon's course of action (even though that's the role Gon entrusted him with) broke his heart, and made him feel like he can't change Gon's impending tragic outcome.

Bisky also told him this earlier in the arc:

While we know his tendency to flee against a strong enemy is caused (at least in a large part) by the needle, which he's already removed at this point in the series, Bisky's words to him and the gravity of the current situation still weigh heavily on him. In this scene, he's realizing that Gon's fate rests on him--and he doesn't know what to do to save Gon at this point. There's no one else he can ask or rely on any more to save Gon, it all hinges on him. What a heavy burden that is to be entrusted with, especially with how deeply he loves Gon--to a degree where he has actively decided and even stated out loud that he'll die with him if it comes down to that.

That's why he's not happy or relieved (at least not visibly) to hear this, as much as being Gon's most important person is what he wants--to hear this at this point is a tremendously scary thing. He just broke down sobbing on the ground because he feels so helpless to do anything for Gon. This is what he needed to hear, and it's true as well, but it puts him a position of great responsibility towards someone he loves more than anything. He was previously directly told by someone he respects that he'll eventually leave Gon to die, which just adds extra fuel to the situation.

I do think both of your other ideas are things that contribute to Killua's state to a degree, but they're not the primary driving force of his reaction in this scene specifically. The situation with Palm and Gon did certainly destabilize his sense of his role in Gon's life (because he desperately wants to be Gon's most important person and, it's heavily hinted, his romantic partner) and that's why he's so fixated on whether Gon wants him at his side as his friend or his teammate. Hearing this from Palm is deeply meaningful for Killua--he even thanks her for it later (he doesn't specify what it's for, but it's obvious)--but again the timing is what makes it difficult for Killua to hear.

On your third point, I do think Killua also realizes as a result of what happens in Chimera Ant Arc that the dynamic between him and Gon can't continue as it has, hence the separation, but in this scene the situation is too urgent for him to be thinking deeply about future situations beyond the life-or-death one he and Gon are currently in. The pressure on him is absolutely a factor, though.

I hope that helps clarify this important scene for you!

[arc852]

8. Shipwreck

Definition: the destruction of a ship at sea by sinking or breaking up

Summary: Grian has been captured by pirates. And if that wasn't the worst part, it seems he's also about to go down with the ship.

Thankfully, someone is there to save him.

G/t: Grian is normal-sized, Gem is a giant

Warnings: Near-death experience, drowning, and fear

Word Count: 1893

AO3 Link

Mers! I'm so happy I got the chance to write about some giant mers. I love them but I don't write them nearly enough.

I'm actually really excited for you guys to read this one too. And, once again, this one is only part one! I wrote a part two for day 18. Which happens to be pirates. I thought they fit pretty well together lol.

I hope you guys enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 A storm was not the thing Grian expected to end up killing him.

 Really, it was a lot more likely the pirates that had kidnapped him were gonna be his end. 

 But even below deck, in the brig of the ship, he could tell the storm outside was a nasty one. Anyone in their right mind would be saying their prayers right now. He could hear the footsteps above him, rapid and heavy compared to the harsh rain that pounded the deck. Even the pirate who had been tasked to guard him had run up with everyone else. All hands on deck, as they would say.

 Grian wasn’t even sure how he had ended up in this mess in the first place. He was just a simple fisherman. And he hadn’t thought his prices were too steep but the pirates had begged to differ and tried to steal from him. Of course Grian was going to defend himself and his stock. Although, in hindsight, fighting back against pirates probably hadn’t been the smartest move.

 Okay, so maybe he did know how he ended up in this mess.

 A harsh jerk of the ship caused Grian to slide across the ground and hit the wall with a loud thud. He winced at the pain in his arm. With his hands tied behind his back, he was unable to reach out and stop that from happening.

 He heard more yelling from above but with the sound of the storm it was hard to tell exactly what they were saying. He pressed his face against the wood of the wall and closed his eyes tight. He supposed he was just grateful it was the storm that would take him out and not the pirates themselves.

 His eyes opened wide as he suddenly heard the voices upstairs start screaming. Even despite the storm and everything, the pirates had never sounded so afraid. It put Grian on edge, his nerves tense as he wondered what was happening up there.

 And then, before Grian could fully process it, a sudden large weight slammed into the ship. No, not just slammed against it. The weight went through the ship, right in front of Grian, right down the middle and breaking the pirate ship in half.

 The storm and ocean rushed to meet Grian all at once and Grian was helpless as he was swept away alongside the rest of the pirates and the wreckage of the ship. The waves tossed him around, slamming into him hard and fast. He was unable to reach the surface, unable to gasp for the air he desperately needed. His hands were still tied too and without the use of his arms his kicking feet were all but useless. 

 He sunk further, his lungs reaching their limit. The salt water hit his eyes, making them sting. But he ignored it because through the water, he made out the ship. Or what was left of it. All but planks remained, floating and sinking all around him and mingling with the bodies of the pirates. Most seemed to be dead already.

 Grian couldn’t hold it in anymore and he let out a gasp. The water poured into his lungs and he thrashed about, wanting desperately to claw at his throat. His energy was quickly drained though, and his head became light as he breathed in more and more water. His eyes slowly drifted shut and everything went dark.

***

Grian woke up with a gasp and a cough, sitting up and leaning over his side to cough up whatever water was left in his lungs. He took deep breaths, trying to get as much air as possible. He gripped the warm sand beneath him and then, as the coughing and his need to breath subsided, he simply laid there for a few, peaceful moments.

 His eyes opened again, slower this time. The sun was high above him, shining down with not a cloud in the sky. It was a sharp contrast to the storm he had been stuck in just a moment ago.

 Or, maybe not just a moment ago. How long had it been? How was he even alive? He swore the last thing he remembered was giving into the ocean and drowning.

 Grian sat up, taking in his surroundings. He seemed to be on a small island in the middle of the ocean. He looked toward the horizon line and there seemed to be other small islands surrounding him but no sign of the mainland anywhere.

 There was also no sign of anyone else. No ship debris, no other bodies even. Just him, all alone.

 But then he took a look right next to him and noticed the rope that had been tied around his hands. Just now realizing his hand were free, he rubbed his wrists earnestly, having quiet the rope burn on them. Had the rope finally unknotted while he had been in the water?

 But no, upon closer inspection, the rope had been cut. There was a very clear line through the center of the rope, leading to two separate pieces as he managed to untangle them. But if the rope had been cut, and so cleanly too, then that meant…

 “H-Hello?” Grian tried to speak but his voice sounded harsh even to his own ears. It had been nothing more than a whisper despite his attempt to shout and so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Hello!” This time his voice sounded more normal. He stood up, keeping the rope in hand and looked around for any clue as to who might have saved him.

 Grian whipped around toward the shore as suddenly, a large being started to rise from it. He made out red and then a pale color as it lifted higher and higher above him. Grian backed away, processing that the red was curly hair and the pale color was skin. 

 It was a giant woman. But no, that wasn’t all. The dark blue scales that lined her face, the gills around her neck, the fins coming out of her head…

 He was in the presence of a giant mer.

 “Oh, you’re awake!” The giant mer exclaimed, a smile on her face. Grian gulped nervously, wondering what was going to happen. He heard stories of giant mers. Horror stories. Stories of them eating any human they came across and of killing anyone foolish enough to go into their territory. Was he next? 

 As Grian was silently freaking out, she leaned down closer, placing her arms in the sand in order to do so. Grian yelped, backing up even more but it was useless to run. The island wasn’t that big and the giant mer could probably reach him no matter where he went on it. “Are you alright?” She spoke again and Grian paused in his panic, confused.

 “Wh-What?” He stammered out, looking into the large green eyes. The mer tilted her head.

 “I asked if you were alright. I think you took in a lot of water when you were sinking.” She said and then her head leaned down even closer, right in Grian’s personal space. Grian was frozen in the spot, trying not to move less the mer jump and eat him in one bite. “You seem to be breathing alright…” She said with a hum, more to herself.

 “I…Why do you care?” Grian asked, the question coming out a little more harsh than he had wanted. He winced at his own tone but the mer didn’t seem angry at it. Instead, her eyes softened.

 “Sorry. I guess I am a bit scary, huh?” She said with a little giggle. A bit was an understatement but Grian kept his mouth shut. “I just want to make sure I didn’t hurt you when I smashed that ship. I didn’t realize you were in there.”

 Grian blinked. “You…were the one who broke the ship?”

 The mer nodded, now looking a little frustrated as she looked back out towards the water. “They were in my territory. I would have just let the storm handle them but they seemed like they were fighting it well.” She hummed a bit. “I almost admire them for being able to do that. That storm was no joke. But I still couldn’t let them get away, so I smashed their ship to pieces.”

 Grian vaguely remembers a large weight slamming through the boat. Now he knew what it was.

 “Why didn’t you let me die then, with the rest of them?” Grian asked, more confused than anything now. Did she just want a snack for later? But then, why did she seem to care about how he was feeling? Or if he was hurt? Things weren’t adding up.

 Her frustration slipped away and went soft again. “Why would I do that? I could tell from the way you were tied up that you were there against your will. It wasn’t your fault you were taken into my territory. So when I saw you, I grabbed you and took you here.” She explained. Grian bit his lip and found himself stepping a bit closer.

 “So…you aren’t going to eat me?” Grian had to ask, just to make sure.

 The mer’s eyes went wide. “Of course not!” She shook her head and then huffed. “I don’t know what kind of things are said about mers but I don’t make it a habit to eat other sapient beings. Kill them, sure. But I think eating them is taking it a bit too far.”

 Grian nodded in agreement and finally let himself relax a little. It seemed the giant mer really had saved him, not as a snack for later, but because she knew he wasn’t a part of the pirates crew. 

 “Well then, thank you for saving me.” Grian said with a slight cough, looking away from the giant eyes. The mer grinned in return.

 “Of course!” Something large splashed the water behind her and Grian jumped at the suddenness of it. He looked behind the mer, to see a giant tail, the same shade as the scales on the mer’s face, moving up and down in the water. “I’m Gem, by the way.”

 Grian returned the smile, finally believing that he was safe. “I’m Grian.” He paused for a moment. “So…what happens now?”

 Gem bit her lip, making her sharp fangs abundantly clear. Grian tried not to be scared by them. “Well, it’s up to you really. But I can’t leave my territory without making some other mers really unhappy. Or get close enough to the mainland to take you back home.”

 That sounded a lot like he was stuck here. He said as much out loud. “So I’m stuck here?”

 “Oh no, there are other ways! Like, I could help you make a boat in order to get yourself back to the mainland.” Gem suggested. “There are a lot of spare parts floating around in my waters from all the ships I’ve destroyed.”

 Grian thought about it but there really wasn’t much to think about. That was his best option. His only real option, it seemed like. So, he nodded. “That sounds like a plan then.” He had never built a ship before but hopefully, with Gem’s help, it wouldn’t be too difficult. “Should we get started?”

 Gem grinned and nodded. 

 They got to work.

[starkeyshirt]

Kitchen Calls

jj x john b

i wrote this quite while ago! it's not necessarily an age regression story, but i imagine jj as an age dreamer of sorts, so i figured it kind of fits. enjoy!

tw//: abuse, blood, injuries, crying.

<<•>>

    JJ's ribs stung with an undeniable pain; echoing through his body with every kick. Blood dripped from his lips and his vision blurred in and out.

  "Piece of shit!" Luke screamed at his son, kicking him in the ribs one last time before chucking the almost-empty bottle at his head. The glass shattered against JJ's skin, causing it to erupt in an unbelievable amount of pain. "You're the damn reason your momma left, you know it too! Should've killed you a long time ago, boy."

   JJ watched with bleary eyes as his father stomped off, slamming their crappy door against it's hinges. He could hear the stomping until his truck started, then, he was gone. JJ knew he wasn't in the clear; his father would return, and nobody wanted to be around when he came home. Coughing up more blood, the blond boy forced himself into a sitting position. His soft, golden mop fell over his eyes, mixing with sweat, blood, and tears on his face.

  JJ's ribs throbbed almost unbearably as he stood up, leaning against the counter for stability. He was damn sure his stomach was blotches of any color but the pale tan it should be. It always was when his dad was done with him.

  JJ has learned overtime what to simply expect from his dad, what to know was going to happen before it did. He knew what pain was coming when he showed up at home after weeks without money for his dad. He knew what names he would be called, and that he probably wouldn't even make it to his room to grab the belongings he came there for. JJ knew all these things, yet he still went back. He probably always would; until the day his father killed him.

  Somewhere in his slightly brainwashed methods of thinking, JJ completely believed everything his father told him was true; Ungrateful, stupid, useless, unlovable. They were all things his father called him the most, and in some ways, they did in fact apply to JJ.

  He convinced himself he was ungrateful. He still cried when his father gave him what he deserved, even when he did nothing to contribute to their poverty. He did nothing to help his dad; he didn't give him enough money, he pushed him to drink. He was ungrateful.

  JJ convinced himself he was stupid. He failed classes in school and barely tried, too preoccupied with himself to focus on class. He led his friends into dangerous situations with dangerous people, simply because he didn't use his head. He thought with the weed he smoked, and all that did was give him a false sense of confidence. He was stupid.

   He convinced himself he was useless; never really needed to anyone, just there. He mooched off of everyone and everything around him, barely contributing to his friends or his own father. He didn't do them any good, only weighing them down with his own mental and emotional baggage. JJ was useless.

  And most of all, JJ convinced himself he was unlovable. It's the perfect word to describe him, in his own mind. Unable to be loved by his own father, who despises him because of his mother. At one point in time he earned his mother's love, only for her to rip it all away when she left without a warning. Without a goodbye. Unlovable to everyone and anyone, because nobody could love somebody as messed up as JJ Maybank.

  "Fuck!" The blond screamed, fist colliding harshly with the cheaply stained wood creating his father's joke of a kitchen. Tears flowed heavily down his cheeks, an expression filled with none other than emotion on his face. Simple emotion, that's the only way he would put it.

  Cuts from the glass dropped coppery blood down his face, and his ribs pounded from their squished position against his knees. JJ's hands intertwined into his hair, pulling desperately against his blond locks in a weak attempt to stop the wave of emotions threatening to rip through his tear ducts. JJ kept a firm grip on his hair, attempting to stand himself upright to no avail; waves of pain ripped through his ribs, sending him to the ground with a yelp of pain.

  He weakly wiggled his phone from his pocket, punching in a number he had memorized by heart. JJ hated with everything he had to call for help, fully believing he didn't deserve it. But he was wasting time, and he really didn't want to be lying on the floor when his dad stormed in again, more drunk than he was before.

  "J? What's taking you so long, I thought you only went for clothes?" John B's warm, concerned voice broke through the ringing, filling JJ's heart with a love he felt he didn't deserve. Sobs ripped from the boy's mouth; violent, harsh cries filled to the brim with pain and suffering, immediately making John B fill with panic. After all the years he'd been friends with JJ, been with JJ, he'd never heard him cry like that.

"I can't take this anymore," JJ sobbed, hearing the faint start up of their van, the Twinkie, while John B left the chateau. "I'm so tired."

  "Hey, babe, you've gotta breathe. I'm coming to get you, just breathe. Remember what we talked about?" John B soothed, listening to JJ's breathing becoming increasingly uneven and rapid, the boy spiraling himself into an anxiety induced panic attack quickly.

  "Yeah." JJ replied faintly, bringing his left hand up to his face. He held his thumb merely a few centimeters away from his lips, blowing gently onto it. As a kid, JJ would suck his thumb to calm himself down. He stopped by the time he was nine, his father having broken his left thumb after he caught him with it between his lips. Men don't need comfort, was what he had said. From that time until just a few months ago, JJ was at a loss for a way to comfort himself, always spiraling into horrible panic attacks until he'd choke on his own tears and throw up or breathe too fast and pass out. He hated it. After multiple situations in which John B was left to slow his boyfriend's rapid breathing, he noticed how he always had his left hand near his face, fisted with only his thumb out. Anybody else might not have noticed it, but after multiple times, John B caught on. Together, they had done some testing and came up with another thing that helped JJ focus and calm himself, a coping mechanism without the trauma his father caused him so early in his life.

   John B smiled fondly as he sped down the street light roads, listening to JJ softly blowing against his thumb time after time again, his breathing obviously recovering in the slightest.

  "Good boy, J. You're doing so good." John B praised softly, pulling in outside JJ's broken home. He didn't hesitate to fly up the old steps and into the other boy's kitchen.

  The sight would've been deemed precious by John B if it we're for the circumstances. JJ was sat against the cupboards, his right arm tightly around his knees, holding them close to his chest. His thumb was still held against his lips, although his mouth was parted slightly. Instead of blowing on his finger he had settled for resting it in-between his lips, having grown tired of blowing air out of his lungs.

  "Hey, c'mon. Let's get home," John B offered, crouching down carefully next to his wounded boyfriend. JJ shuffled ever so slightly, just enough so John B could swoop one arm under his legs and his other supporting his back. A whine escaped his breath when his ribs were jostled, John shushing him. JJ stuck his face into the other's horrible, horrible brightly colored shirt, breathing in the scent he loved so much.

  John B hummed softly as he carried JJ to the car, hating how small and fragile the boy seemed in his arms. He was probably one of the only people to ever see this side of JJ; he was always cracking jokes and rambling off, making himself the loud, boisterous one of the group to cope. JJ was never sad, and it hurt to see him hurting. John B would never get used to it.

  "Hey, I'm gonna run in and grab your clothes and stuff, okay? I don't want you coming back here for a while," John B explained gently placing the blond down in the front seat. Not much more than a wince escaped his lover's lips, a small nod being given in response to the question. "I'll be right back."

  JJ's busted lip left an imprint of coppery blood on John B's lips when he gave him a small peck, only making the brunette feel guilty. Guilty, only that he couldn't protect his boy.

  John B gathered both things JJ needed and things he knew JJ would want, because those were two completely different things. Shirts, shorts, sunglasses, toothbrush (JB would never admit it out loud, but he truly didn't appreciate sharing his own toothbrush every single morning); all things JJ would need. Then, he tossed in extra hoodies and his blanket, grabbing his fluffy (and in JJ's words very manly) pillow and stuffing it under his arm. That's another thing he's learned about JJ over the years. Despite living in the Outer Banks, the blond boy always insisted on piling himself under as many soft things as he could find after something traumatic happens. It was always a few hours later, after things settled and his wounds or anything else were cared for, but it happened everytime without a doubt. The first few times John B had witnessed JJ do this, he quite frankly thought the boy was going to suffocate himself. Overtime, though, JJ even managed to get John B to join him under all the blankets and pillows, cuddling together as if they were in Antarctica and freezing to death. It was a comfort thing, he supposed.

  The sky was dark already, the day having passed quicker than either boy expected. JJ was slowly bouncing back to his usual self on the way back, still very much hurt and upset, but just a little tiny bit less miserable.

  "C'mon, Princess. It's time for the chateau nurse to take over your injuries," John B joked, playfully bowing down as he opened JJ's car door. He (carefully) scooped the boy into his arms, listening to the small, wet giggles escaping his boyfriend's throat. JJ sniffed repeatedly, having been too stubborn in the car to blow his nose. Sometimes, John B wondered how he ever started dating such an man-child, but he'd love him nonetheless.

  John B carried everything in with only one trip, JJ in his arms, the bag slung over his neck. JJ held onto his pillow. Everything got tossed beside the couch, JJ being set delicately on one of the cushions. John B turned towards the bathroom for their medical supplies. "Don't move."

  "It's not like I'm gonna limp to Figure 8," JJ replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

John B rolled his eyes as well. "Happy to see you're feeling better."

  John B returned within seconds, carrying an arm-load of bandages, antiseptic, cotton rounds, and a joint. He handed JJ the lit joint, placing it in-between the boy's lips directly. John B then bent down to lift JJ's shirt over his head, the smaller blond purposefully blowing the smoke from the joint into his face.

  John B sighed, glancing at the variously unnatural colors covering his boyfriend's midsection. JJ's ribs were swollen black and blue, bits of yellow mixed in with it. It hurt him everytime he had to see his love like that, beaten like a dog by the person supposed to love him most. John B knew JJ saw the look on his face, watching with soft eyes as the boy looked away guilty, looking much like a kicked puppy.

  "Hey, look at me," John B instructed, dragging his hand up to JJ's chin. He redirected his focus, turning his head until the boy was meeting his eyes. "None of this is your fault. You don't deserve to be treated this way, by anyone. You're perfect."

  Instead of avoiding his gaze, blue orbs simply stared into brown ones, a sinful guilt trickling out of them. "I do deserve it, John B. I drove him to be like this."

  "You didn't drive anyone anywhere, JJ. He's not a real man, only an excuse for a coward who takes his own misfortunes out on his child," John be signed, dabbing a cotton rounds with alcohol, bringing it up to JJ's face. "This might sting, bud."

  The alcohol did in fact sting, strangled and suppressed whimpers escaping the blond's lips until John B was finished. "Sh, we're all done now."

  With his face now free of glass shards and blood, the only noticable injuries were the scrapes left and the puffiness of his busted lip. John B could see the tiredness in his boyfriend's eyes, releasing the boy from his couch captivity whilst he left to return the first aid supplies to their normal places.

   JJ was quick to hop back off the couch, scurrying around in a slightly handicapped manner; gathering all the blankets, pillows, and hoodies he could find. He made a small nest on the couch, draping a fuzzy blanket over his bare shoulders, wrapping it around himself before holding it tightly against his chest.

  Bundled up and content with the amount of soft items he found, JJ set off towards John B's bedroom to find the older boy. John B was stood by the bed, preparing to toss an old Heywards hoodie over his bare torso. JJ assumed that Pope left that hoodie at the chateau sometime a year or two ago, and it ended up being one of the 'community' hoodies. JJ was pretty sure everyone in their group had worn it at some point, even Kie.

  John B caught his boyfriend's eye quickly, stopping his movements when JJ shook his head firmly. "I can't wear a hoodie?"

  "Nope," JJ stated firmly, shuffling forward to grab the brunette's hand. He tugged him right to the couch, shoving them both into the small den of blankets formed. John B didn't even have time to protest before he was covered in soft material, not that he would anyway. JJ was quick to curl himself into John B's bare torso, feeling all the tension slip from his body at the contact. Skin-to-skin contact was another thing JJ loved, it calmed him effectively and quickly. John B knew this, giving he was one of the only people JJ would allow himself to be that close with. Kiara and John B, that was it. He didn't know why, but stemming from his home life, JJ assumed he saw them almost as parental figures - except he was dating John B. It may not make much sense, but a lot of things about JJ don't make sense.

  "Can we go surfing tomorrow?" JJ asked suddenly.

  John B laughed, lightheartedly, loving everything about the boy in his arms. Giving a quick kiss to JJ's head, he smiled fondly.

  "Of course we can go surfing tomorrow, sunshine."

[sakuyomihana]

SummerTime.ft Alhaitham

Hello everyone~! I have decided that admist the waiting of 'Tangled Threads Of Hearts' chapters, I will post short stories that I have just written for Genshin! I made this after listening to 'From Y to Y', please enjoy it as you wait~! As usual, thank you to all readers that have supported me since the start of my journey here with Tangled Threads Of Hearts~ *Disclaimer: This is an original work done by me. Pls do not steal it or repost anywhere else. Thank you and have a happy reading day~!

Bygones were those memories of last warm summer, fleeting emotions and lingering regrets were long forgotten or so he thought... Alhaitham, the eccentric genius and handsome student council president of Sumeru Akademiya, never failed any of his grades and was always at the top of the class. No one has ever beaten him, many wished to get into his good graces and ask him for help with their studies but that hasn't always been the case. Girls flock around him, flirting every now and then to try and be his girlfriend, whereas the boys wished they could be as smart as him or just generally disliked him because of his no nonsense attitude.

Alhaitham was known to be a person who puts logic and rationality first before making decisions, his aloof and non-empathetic personality occasionally causes turbulence to ensue. The very fact that he was unable to perceive the right emotions and give out his opinions at the right time, was why everyone hated him and him being elected to be the student council president only seemed to make matters worse. The latter knew that for a fact but he chose to ignore as he felt that it was ridiculous and illogical to deal with this sort of people and to harbor such thoughts. He always believed in what he thought was right and there’s no way to change his mind. And yet... What is this sinking feeling that he felt so deeply within his heart..?

You, [First Name] [Last Name], the quiet and reclusive student. Your grades were average, nothing comparable to the eccentric genius of your class. You were a wallflower in many cases, only speaking when you were spoken to. You were ‘popular’ but not in a good way. Classmates flock around you as you were easy to be taken advantage of because of your unyielding kindness. Many wondered how you were able to break past the barrier of a stone-cold man’s heart, you often wondered to yourself too on what part of you had captured the most popular (hated) guy’s attention. It did not take long for you to be fully smitten with him and his antics, often making you laugh and instill confidence in you. He always manages to bring out the best in you and vice versa, the love that you both shared was equally passionate and strong for one another. So then… where did it all go wrong..?

You and Alhaitham had been dating for about 2 years. All your friends were extremely happy with how everything was going between the two of you, they had high hopes that you two would be together forever. Forever… This word struck a chord in Alhaitham’s heart. Truthfully, he had never thought that far ahead when he decided to confess to you, nor when he first laid his eyes on you. Alhaitham had always believed that there was something about you that caught his eyes, your kindness was mesmerizing, your patience was gold, your personality and thirst for knowledge were equally as radiant in his eyes. He loves the way your eyes always lighted up when you learn something new or even fascinated by things which he deemed mundane. Every day and every minute spent with you was never boring. He yearned for these peaceful times to last forever, but maybe he got a little too complacent. Too comfortable. The old him would never concern himself with such useless emotions, the old him would never- That was when he realized that you had changed him, you brought in a myriad of colors into his life. Letting him experience what being in love feels like, how it feels to be special in someone’s life. The old him would never understand that.

It wasn’t until one day, when all rainbows and sunshine were drenched in cold harsh rain, he realized that nothing lasts forever. You could say that he had become extremely naive by all these notions, that he had forgotten what was important. Likewise, you did too.

Alhaitham and you were both caught going out on a date in the city during one of your semestral holidays. You had not told your parents that you were dating someone, you had your reasons and Alhaitham agreed to let them know at a later time. You had expected to be found out one of those days, considering you had been leaving house early in the morning and returning home late frequently. But what you did not expect, was to be caught by one of your worst enemies from the past. He/she had been one of your closest friends before they decided to turn their backs on you as you didn’t bring them any form of merit and you were just dragging them down. Slowly all your friends began to also turn their backs on you, thus you became the person whom you were today. Trusting doesn’t come easily to you nowadays but your kind self was what kept you grounded. Alhaitham had seen what they couldn’t have and that was what made you open up your heart to him, little by little.

You were happy and content with whatever you have. But this bitch decided to show up and poke their noses into something that they shouldn’t have. Your parents were people who are highly sensitive towards family status and upbringing, they thought that you were their blessed child and was able to bring the family name up to new heights. However, they were disappointed by the outcome. You were average. Like many others. Your parents who used to shower you with affection and gifts, in a single night, completely closed you off from their lives. Alhaitham was the only one who saw you past your worth and loved you for who you really are. He often just told you that you being you was enough, you didn’t need to change just to meet someone else’s expectations. That’s why this break up hurt you more than it should..

Your parents who knew nothing much about your social life, let alone your love life, decided to poke their noses into your love life, after finding out that you were dating Alhaitham. That bitch had told them immediately after finding out about your secret date and was praised to high heavens by your parents. Your days after that fateful day, had never been peaceful as it should have been prior. With his status and upbringing, Alhaitham wasn’t shunned by your parents like that they did with you. Although, they did praise you for one thing. Which was being able to poach such a fine man like him, to which you deny. Alhaitham had refuted many of such claims, he was more than ready to take you away from such a family after what he had just witnessed. He thought that his words alone were able to keep you from doubting your self worth and to keep you from leaving him but alas.. The situation had taken its toll on the both of you as the moment the new semester started, you both were too busy to focus on anything else other than your studies. This was the final push towards graduation before you can enter a good college and find a stable job after. There was no time for trivialities, the two of you began quarreling more and more as the days went by. And that was when you finally snapped.

“Can your parents stop fucking coming to the house every single day, hounding me and you, day and night? It’s getting extremely annoying, especially since we have two tests this week and I want you to focus on it.”.

“Well, I’m sorry that my parents are hounding us like annoying pests! Since you have so much free time, why not help pacify them and ask them to leave instead of me?”.

“Since you oh so want me to focus on the test more than on our relationship?”.

“Me? Ridiculous, they are your parents, so why should I pacify? It’s a waste of my time. Since this all started because of you!”, letting his anger get the best of him, he failed to register what he just said.

“!”, turquoise eyes widened a fraction, his breath hitched in his throat.

Shock, hurt and despair flashed across your eyes as you took in what he had just said, how could he..? The man who you trusted in, your confidant had just pushed the blame all to you? When you weren’t in the wrong..?

“Wai-”, you cut him off.

“Me? Yes. YES, everything is fucking my fault happy now?!”, tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you screamed.

“What I truly need right now is someone who can comfort me, give me a shoulder to lean on! Not fucking someone who dumps everything on me and tell me everything is my fault!”.

“I was wrong to trust you, Alhaitham. I thought you were different, different from everyone else and what they all said about you. Why did I ever think that you would take time out of your day to help me pacify my parents who look at you and only you, because their daughter is nothing as comparable to a capable man like you!”, nothing could stop these tears from flowing anymore as more came waterfalling down your already damp cheeks, you don’t know whether you were crying or laughing as you let out a sardonic cackle amidst your tears.

You were utterly broken and beyond repair. The man truly did not know what to do anymore.. He had utterly failed in protecting you and your smile which he loves so much. Now, that smile will no longer grace his presence in this looming emptiness and despair. For the first time, he shed a tear as he watched the flames that he ignited spread ablaze..

                       “..Let’s break up… It’s better for both of us.”.

->>>>>>>>>

  Looking back, he wondered if he had truly done the right thing by letting you go back then. 10 years had passed since that last warm summer, where everything started and ended. Alhaitham is now a linguistics professor teaching at one of top universities in Sumeru City, his mundane life ever-unchanging just as he liked it to be or so he believed. After that day, you and him had never made contact with each other ever again. He wondered how you were doing now, probably better somewhere. He never really apologized to you as he didn’t know how to and guess he never will have the chance to.

Upon returning to his abode, which to his surprise was empty (honestly glad), Alhaitham quickly took a shower and cleansed himself off the day’s fatigue. Having a light meal before returning to his room to retire, he felt his phone vibrate beside him on the dinner table.

“ Annoying Bunch

Kaveh:

Dinner at Lambad’s Tavern tmr!

Cyno:

Sure, but what’s the occasion?

Tighnari:

A successful project? A new potential client? Either way, I’m free.

                                                                             You:

  If it’s on you, sure.

Kaveh:

I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY THAT, YOU INSUFFERABLE MAN!

Anyways, I have some exclusive scoop to tell you guys!

Cyno:

It better B worth it.

Tighnari:

*sighs*

You:

Likewise.

Kaveh:

Oh it DEFINITELY will! Cause it involves you!

You:

Me?

Kaveh:

Hoho, caught your interest! I see! So you better come tomorrow! ”.

‘Involving me?’, he wondered if it had anything to do with you. Well, he will only be able to find out tomorrow. Recently memories of you had resurfaced in his mind, he wondered if these were signs or some sort but he chided himself for such wishful thinking. Cleaning up the table and washing the dishes, he locked up everything before returning to his room to rest. With an unfinished book in his hand, he made himself comfortable and read into the night. The next day, at the appointed time, Alhaitham met up with his friends at the tavern. It started off with a friendly chat amongst friends about work and then the topic finally came.

“So you guys might be wondering why we are all gathered here today?”, all eyes focused on Kaveh.

“I met [Name] yesterday at work.”, three pairs of eyes widened at his revelation.

“You what?”.

“I met [Name] at work yesterday, she was apparently there with my client. Boy was I surprised to see her after so long!”.

“Is she doing well?”, Alhaitham finally managed to utter.

Cyno, Tighnari and Kaveh were also friends of yours that you had made after getting together with him, the three had always been supportive of your relationship at the start. When they found out what had transpired that day, they really gave him a big scolding.

“She looks well, I had not seen her smile because of a certain someone, but she definitely seems to be doing way better than before.”, Kaveh gave him a sardonic reply.

“That’s good.”.

“That’s good? Is that all you have to say?”, the blonde looked at him incredulously.

“What else am I supposed to say?”, he retorted.

“Calm down, Kaveh. Think about it. Do you think he can just waltz right up there in front of her and apologize and act as if everything is alright? Nay, I don’t think so. This is Alhaitham, we are talking about.”, the fennec reasoned.

“He’s right, Kaveh. I definitely can’t see him saying I miss you or whatever.”, Cyno added.

Said male grunted at the words his friend had just thrown at him. Kaveh slumped into his seat disappointed as he chugged down the beer in his hand like nothing.

“For starters, shouldn’t we ask the man in question what he wants to do? I am highly certain that you wish to see her again, don't you? I think what’s important is to first settle any lingering doubts first before tackling the problem. Apologizing doesn’t come easily to you, but you understand that you were in the wrong. What’s next, is what you wish to do and how you go about doing it.”.

Alhaitham let his friend’s word sink in as he thought to himself. What comes after the long overdue apology? He had failed miserably in protecting someone who was important to him, did he have the right to continue to love her again? He was afraid yet he wished to try. Afterall, the only one who made him this way, to change for the better was you. He did not wish to lose you again. This sinking feeling that had him trapped in its grasp, finally broke free as the man made up his mind. He still loves you, he truly does. Deciding to take a gamble for a lifetime, he decided to reach out to you again like he did in the past. He was going to apologize and make things right for both you and him, for your future together.

                                          - SummerTime -

[phyrexian-lesbian]

Final Take on Series 14/Season 40

(It will never be season one cry about it)

Alright so Space Babies brings the while season down at least 50% so we're gonna ignore that episode- which is also useful advice for anyone watching Doctor who.

Excluding space babies, there are a handful of episodes that, stand-alone, are really good. Of course, there'd never be more than a handful because the international franchise pairing with corporate overlords only had time for 9 episodes apparently.

In fact, I like most of the season, considering I don't watch them as a season. Church on Ruby Road was interesting, playing with the idea of magic and the Timeless Child arc.

The Devil's Chord was fun and intriguing, playing with the gods and monsters idea again, and having cool 4th wall breaks and a fun villain. Its drawbacks were the stupid fucking musical number that rtd wrote with no canon reason other than "Maestro's influence", which is a repeat of what he did with the 60th (writing utter bullshit and pinning it on a stupid fucking cause that makes 0 canon sense).

Boom was incredible. For starters, it was written by someone who wasn't rtd, so that's amazing. Also, as a theatre kid, having tur central actor unable to move their body for the entire performance tickled my brain in all the best ways. All in all, it felt like an episode from 12's era, when Doctor was at its peak for me. Great episode. Made me hopeful for the future (hahahaha😶)

73 Yards was also incredible (ignoring the finale). It heightened that (false) sense of mystery surrounding Ruby, and ramped up the horror subtheme started by Wild Blue Yonder. I really enjoyed it, and it was a great story. Felt a lot like Heaven Sent, which is am achievement (All of this praise is for the standalone. RTD pissed all over his good writing with the finale, and 73 Yards was ruined by EoD).

Dot and Bubble played with some interesting ideas but was kinda meh. It was a cool reality to see 15 suffer racism (bit like 13 suffering misogyny), and it was good to see the Doctor mad again.

Rogue was very cool, and I thought it was great. Made me wish we had a Thasmin kiss tho.

Legend of Ruby Sunday, aka the good half of the finale, was very interesting. All the mystery and the magic and the reunions. They dismissed the whole bigeneration plot line, and the fact that 15 didn't see any of this shit coming meant that the bigeneration plot line was completely fucked. 14 and 15 aren't the same person in a looped time line. They're just clones of each other. The whole "therapy" situation is utter bullshit. RTD just can't kill t*nnant for shit (fr love David Tennant in other stuff and as a person in general just getting sick of him in Dr who). Sutekh's reveal could have been handled a bit better, but overall his entrance gave me chills. Loved that. Just needed a bit more detail on how he avoided the TARDIS sensors for two thousand years.

And finally, the episode that untied all the others from each other, Empire of Death. The mystery that terrified Maestro, the God of music and revels, and caught the obsession of Sutekh, the God of death and eternity, was utter bullshit. Ruby's mum is just some guy. A nice thought- we thought she was some godlike entity but she was just an ordinary human. Except. We didn't think that. RTD wrote that. The snow, the "song in her soul", the fact that Ruby's mum couldn't be perceived with anything but the naked eye, not even with Time Lord equipment- that's all superhuman shit. You can't explain that away with "she's normal". That's not how it works. Oh and the God of literal actual Death was defeated by a real good dogleash? Nah man. If you want us to take things seriously, don't pull shit like that. Also they defeated him literally the same way they did last time, adding the aforementioned dog leash. Also the fact that her mum is just normal means that the whole mystery about the specter's words in 73 yards is just... pointless? Completely useless?

Also, no one names their daughter by pointing at a sign (that wasn't there in the original shot).

And Ruby's exit was so nothing. I didn't feel a single thing. There was no emotional connection to the character. She left of her own directive. After 9 45minute episodes. Don't know if people honestly were emotional about that, because there was nothing there.

Overall, good episodes. Bad season.