#cause at the end of the day my view of homestuck is very different than most fans

[zazzydoesstuff]

And writing TTRPGs

what studying literature feels like

[davekat-sucks]

agreed completely with last anon. i think the problem is, or at least what could have caused all of these misunderstandings and miscommunications, is that the truth is that Hussie has never been really good at writing character arcs, what he IS good at is at writing memorable characters with unique voices and visually appealing simple designs. and that's because, technically, he somewhat stole them from other media or started from referencing character tropes from old movies, homestuck has always been a mix of many different 80-90s media. so for example, the humans are stereotypical movie/comic characters (john= dorky nerd protag, dave = cool best friend, rose = snarky goth, jade = girl next door), and that's what makes the audience instantly like them, because they are familiar, but, at the time, modernized in a way that was actually entertaining with in-depth interests, different viewpoints, and funny chemistry. it's all that has worked for years concentrated in an easy to digest mold that gave it the potential to be something more than usual. and yet, john, jade and rose had ZERO character growth, dave had negative and became a fucking douchebag, and these four don't even act like friends anymore by the end of the story. what the fuck.

it also happened with the trolls, because as i said before, how did the "chosen one" character that was said to be caring and the second coming of christ ended up as admiring the tyrannical ruler that genocided his race and did nothing afterwards except be dave's sidepiece and never talking to his friends again. who the fuck would like that for a conclusion to his story? there is nothing satisfying about it, why should i now be invested in Karkat in hs2, if he is a bad friend with bad morals that ends up amounting to nothing? Hussie wrote that i shouldn't, that's what i get for assuming real people have character arcs, karkat was never meant to be a leader, but sea hitler jr, meenah, sure was.

that's what makes it unlikable and what causes disconnect between fans. he subverted not only the trope, but also the little character building he himself wrote, and ended up with confusing themes. he didn't do the hard job of keeping a consistent structured plot until the end, he just applied twists as convenient to act smugly cynical about it afterwards, like he's allergic to sincerity. you also see this with how he treated johnrose/davejade or karezi, or how he says davekat and now june were always meant to happen all along.

and so, what some fans like about karkat or dave, for example, is not what they actually achieved or did in the source story, because they ended up with nothing and also their wiki page was too long to read, but the fandom idealization of them. and that's how you get the wildly ooc dialogue you see in hs2, the writers see nothing wrong with this, dont understand how to separate their personal bias from these characters or what was actually appealing about them in the first place, and what we end up with are projections of who THEY would like to see in a story: characters that act like the writers themselves. hollow self-centered assholes with no sense of humour disconnected from reality that communicate via twitter memes, therapy speak, and the trendy political issue of the day, all so they can pat each other on the back and feel better about amounting to very little in life too, now with semi-canonical homestuck facepaint on.

sorry for the armchair psychology, but my conclusion is, what closure i try to give myself from this shitpile of a franchise, is to view it as a cautionary tale of caving to social pressure and treating people that find value in your work like shit. homestuck ended in a very unsatisfying way for many, and it continues to get worse because it's easier to call someone a bigot and double down on your beliefs than concede you made a mistake, wasted so much time and have no idea how to fix it.

Yes to everything said here! Say it loud for everyone to hear! I dislike when Hussie or people use the excuse that he was just SUBVERTING expectations. Not questioning on why even built it up in the first place if it meant NOTHING at all. It's a complete waste of time. And not in an ironic sense. A waste of time and emotion audiences felt before being slapped in the face and kicked in the balls for even caring. Like, I know Hussie is known for trolling. He made himself as this asshole-but-likeable persona for some time even prior to Homestuck. Sadly, this is probably one of the few times it wouldn't have worked if it means damaging your reputation in the long run. And I don't mean the edge humor he throws into the comic. I mean the treatment towards his fans where there's not much genuine sincerity and it's all asshole mode that it's hard to tell if it's joking or truly being hostile. He could have said he would like to be left alone, but perhaps pride and fame got in the way for him to say that. Even when it was the large amount of fans that made him feel pressured in the first place. I don't know how James or anyone in the team can really fix this mess without addressing problems people had with the series overtime. And not just stuff from Epilogues or Homestuck^2, but address things that were never answered or felt anticlimactic from the base webcomic.

[wired-heartbeats]

I always like your homestuck aspect stuff! I've asked before about your switch from doom to heart, now I wanna know how you stick with it. I like all the aspect and class combos and I can never just stick with one and enjoy it as "me". How do you do it?

Oh yeah I remember that! How I stick with it huh? Warning right here this’ll probably end up getting a bit long hfkdjfksjfidbd

Well, I love to analyze the possible quests and character arcs for different classpects and a big part of figuring out yours isn’t necessarily who you are in this present moment -even though that can help lol- but rather who you’re either working to BE or what you’ve ALREADY build yourself towards

It’s mentioned a couple times in canon that the Classpects aren’t a matter of just who you are at the beginning but rather a foretelling of the type of arc you’re going to have to take or that you e taken, that’s why there’re things like active and passive classes along with the different tactics and abilities in the aspect portion of it.

So you kinda take who you are now and how you do things with who you want to kinda be and how you WANT to do things! This is really confusing to explain actually I don’t know if I’m getting it across lemme use me vs John/June as an example lol

Heirs are, in the nature of the class, meant to be passive and get/inherit their aspect in order to LOWKEY affect/support the rest of the party or team (or themselves, aspects considered). Throughout the comic John/June already IS pretty passive. Supporting his friends and trying to figure out what to do next while Dave and Jade (the Active classes) tended to go for whatever they thought was best at the time

I choose the Heir class because being Passive is something I had to work at pretty hard to learn. I still am working on that part of me. My old Classpect was from before I had an idea of what kinda person I want to be, and even if that changes again I’ll keep the same Classpect now because of what I’ve ALREADY worked towards. Other Classpects COULD be similar and work for me too but to me they’re different GOALS than what I want

(When it comes to different self inserts in general because I do have different ones for multiple media’s I tend to look at my own “Character Development” and count that as my general “Backstory” and “Arcs” so I can shift stuff around for in-universe reasons, this doesn’t change what I actually went through but it does create a nice mirror for my Self Insert so I don’t feel like I have to BE someone else in-story, if that makes sense lol.)

That’s just how I tend to look at things though because I love over-analyzation jfjdodnksnd- naturally you can do almost anything with any combination of classpects so you can definitely choose an aspect based more on just what kind of powers you think would be cooler or would come more naturally to your style, It’s one of the fun parts of the whole class and aspect thing at the end of the day, it’s just for fun.

So it’s easier to stick with one (or just stick with an Aspect and fuck around with Classes for a bit) if you look at it more as your potential or just your goals, or if you just go “fuck it this one looks the coolest to me” and then vibe with it a bit. An important thing to remember it in reference to them is that every Aspect and every Class is SUPPOSED to have bits and pieces of you reflected in them and very different personalities can have the same Classpects ‘cause they’re so flexible with what it MEANS

I don’t know if any of this really helped but this is definitely how I tend to view them, I always tend to view the aspects and classes on a more individualized basis of just how you do things versus how you want to do things but I do know that that is a very different viewpoint the some of the other people in the community skfjdodhajdb if you want another good way to figure it out there’s a bunch of blogs who do full analyses of different Classpects so reading through those is a blast and can help too

As for finding one that ‘you’, I don’t want to say none of them are going to fit you absolutely perfectly but Its more The one you feel comfortable in and have more fun being at the end of the day lol

God yeah this got longer than I meant it to be sorry didnkfdndodnd you all know I Like To Ramble A Lot I hope some of this made sense at least

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 3

So i have seen smidgens of this on tumblr but just havent had time to do anything about it

and jesus christ Callie Jade is so horrifyingly creepy, and you know the things she’s narrating the characters can also hear which is also hilarious, it just reminds me of that comic about how “yeah sure there’s a giant ominous red floating eyeball in your kitchen, constantly staring, constantly judging, but can you be sure that’s a bad thing?”

and then someone tries to talk to it, but it doesn’t answer and the person goes “fine be an asshole i dont give a fuck”

thats exactly the dynamic happening with Callie Jade right now

Grumpy DaveKat is hilarious

and Hey! we finally get to see how people look, I really dig Roxy’s look

“ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances"”

This line from Roxy makes sense, as a person wholly ensconced in the idea of their own self and always being in control of themselves and their own mind and faculties they would hate anything at all that causes that iron mental grip to slip

That’s probably why Dirk avoided sleep even when his dreamself was awake, even sleeping and dreaming was considered a form of himself losing control over himself that he couldn’t integrate the idea himself and his dreamself were the same person rather than two identical people and also I remember that the Jujupop didn’t affect him either

Later on Dirk in the narrative will say something about his own trauma, but not really go into what it is, but if I had to hazard a guess (and really it’s not much of a guess at this point)

Dirk probably has memories of a version of himself being under the mental influence of another, Lil Cal, LE, Doc Scratch etc what have you, So Narrative Dirk may actually be a version of Dirk who’s not quite yet poisoned into being a version of those 3, but his words also hinted that just because he’s aware of a certain way that he’s acting doesn’t make him more likely to stop it

Like he’s equating that you can be aware of the influence something else is having on you and in the exact ways it is influencing you without being able to stop, the exact thing he is traumatized and afraid of being most likely

So his one driving fear, is he does not want to lose control of his own soul, his own being, his own way of life and existing, to something else, something other. Even though he most likely is fully aware of the things and mannerisms of the other that have slipped into himself? Like he’s probably fully aware of the similarities between himself and those mentioned above, but maybe the thing that he’s hinging on is that instead of those guys poisoning him into being like them, instead perhaps he can convince himself that it’s his own self influencing others to act like himself instead. His influence reaching out and expanding instead of shrinking as he fears it

Anyway, Dave and Kanaya have a cute moment, I really like that

We get a nice shot of them in shadows against a backdrop of stars and Kanaya starts talking about a story Rose would once tell so that’s story is already gonna be dripping in metaphorical potential

“ A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost”

Though that’s a story I’m actually familiar with

KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her

KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along

KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

KANAYA: The Story Comments On The Nature Of Friendship

KANAYA: And Of Course In Turn Love

KANAYA: How Once They Connect There Is No Distance Or Circumstance That Can Seperate Them

KANAYA: How The Worlds In Each Ones Mind Take On Contours Shaped By Their Memories Of The Other

KANAYA: Places And Moments And Orbiting Passersby Becoming More and More Entangled In The Context Of Their Mutual Affections

KANAYA: Such As With A Garden Calling To Mind An Engagement Once Declared There

KANAYA: Or Something To That Fucking Effect

So obviously Dirk and Rose

Dirk has Rose with him, discovers an actual genuine connection with her, likely because he already viewed her as an equal, despite his manipulations of her, and chapter 4 spoilers but he genuinely wants to play a game with her when there really isn’t any reason for it, so he is actually curious to see who comes out on top of it, Him or Her, so Dirk is probably in some way desperate to have an actual equal partner in some way instead of drowning in himself all the time, not surprising. But Rose, obviously, will leave and reject him, likely when the manipulation comes around and is revealed/Kanaya and all them reach her/that part of the story

But then the story tinges onto a romantic nature and is framing Dirk trying to get her back as a romantic quest to save his partner/friend something something love and friendship, “no distance can separate them” yeah that doesn’t sound like obsession with the first person you’ve ever truly seen as an equal/a real person, 

yeah “A Garden calling to Mind an engagement once declared there” definitely sounds like the garden of eden/adam and eve paradise fantasy that Dirk has been trying  for some reason, to setup on the new planet

Really begs the question for why Dirk cares at all to do all of this? Except we now the answer is already its not the thing itself he cares about, its the value hes putting into the story as something that generates interest in the audience

He doesn’t care about actually making a society or being gods or whatever, he just knows thats what the audience wants to see and cares about so therefore he does it

and the reason he does all of THAT is because is ties into his trauma of his sense of self eroding away becoming a person he’s unfamiliar with

I wonder how he’s going to handle how much he’s going to change in order to fit the role of the story he’s writing when all is said and done

the Dirk at the end of this is going to be very different than the Dirk that started in Homestuck, despite all of his fears and intentions, and that he could not say all of it wasnt his own doing because of the iron control he made sure to have from the very beginning, I honestly think that will be kind of a shock for him if a meeting like that ever one day happened

Specifically for the fact that he seems to be aware of the romantic in nature tropes hes writing himself and Rose into and for now still seems to be avoiding them, not having gone that far, but, well

Maybe this is where we’ll start to see where Doc Scratch’s odd tendencies starting coming from

You know he was always really weird with Rose and Vriska (Maybe because he sees Light players all as extensions of Rose herself?)

Anyway yeah this is def the story metaphor I think we’re going to see in this, but Kanaya doesn’t fully get it, she thinks the story refers to herself and Rose

DAVE: that seems kind of wack for a kids story

KANAYA: Its Possible I Am Projecting Slightly In This Specific Circumstances

KANAYA: It Was Just A Metaphor

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister

Which is cool because it makes this opposing connection between Dirk and Kanaya as opposites, which I like because it solidifies a tiny bit more the idea of Sylph being Passive Create to A Prince’s Active destroy.

Oh yeah, there was a tiny hint of Mind metaphor as well, can’t forget Terezi is with them

KANAYA: How The Worlds In Each Ones Mind Take On Contours Shaped By Their Memories Of The Other

KANAYA: Places And Moments And Orbiting Passersby Becoming More and More Entangled In The Context Of Their Mutual Affections

KANAYA: Such As With A Garden Calling To Mind An Engagement Once Declared There

Basically the idea that your experiences of a person and your memories of them shape who they become as well, the boundary between you and I is controlled by both of us, so each has an effect of the personality Heart of the other through our own decisions and Mind

like the way people tend to mimic those they like and want to be close to, or the way they actively try to distance themselves and what they are like from those they hate

But that at all seems to be more about Mind in general than referring to anything specifically Terezi

though it is exactly that understanding of Mind versus Heart and how one affects the other that could make Dirk realize that in the question of the self he’s only had half the picture the whole time, he’s only had the understanding of Heart and has thus far not been able to understand how Mind plays a role in the sustaining of the self, how what other people do to help you to be you, which is his entire philosophical conundrum

“DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain

DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit“

oh, that makes me sad, this is def bringing up some bad trains of thought for Dave ):

“ KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

OH RIGHT, I forgot Calliope is actually WITH them on their journey, despite seeming to want absolutely fuck all with Jade Callie, I totally thought she was gonna stay back on Earth C but I guess not!

It’s so odd to see them so terrified of their alternate self like this when they’ve interacted mildly before. I still don’t know what to think of that much, other than they seem to be doing that weird thing that the other kids went through, like how John scribbled clowns on the walls unknown to himself for the longest time due to Gamzee’s unseen mental influence

that’s exactly the type of shit Dirk would be afraid of, so I wonder if that’s what Callie was afraid of as well? Maybe its Jade Callie that’s influencing them this way not Gamzee, to scribble strange things on the walls and not come out, but it’s the same fear of the other regardless manifesting and changing the self.

It is a very oddly non social thing for Our Calliope to do, when the point of different between the two Callie’s was how social Calliope was versus how antisocial Jade Callie is. Worries me ): but at least they’re here I guess

KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

ROXY: fucked up if tru

Karkat is really popular as a character in the fandom lol

and that’s that one, time to get to Chapter 4, which has a lot more juicy exposition

With all the Garden of Eden metaphors though I can’t help but think of the Apple of the Garden of Eden when I think of “story exposition” now

The juicy tantalizing forbidden red fruit that when you bit into it you suddenly understand and know things you did not before and you’re eyes are opened, I wonder if that’s enough to just make Apples a solid Symbol of Light in Homestuck’s context? Most of it’s association with knowledge is external to Homestuck, just referenced symbolically, it’s not actually used in any cirumstances pertaining to knowledge, but more as the metaphor of it being the gate to leave the garden of eden, more like a teleporter, Rapture and Revelation in general rather than just Knowledge itself

aka my new headcanon is that one thing needed to Alchemize a Transportalizer is inexplicably going to be an Apple, if that ever comes up at all

[sometipsygnostalgic]

A matter of discourse

Kind of autobiographical, which may be boring. This post is a very brief discussion about my experiences with online discourse. 

I’ve changed a lot since my A-timer days back in 2016 when I was first engaging in genuine discussion on the internet for the first time. Back then  I was fighting the fight for stuff like Bubbline to be allowed on television. There was a lot of insane and aggravating discussion. It felt fun to let off steam by having a proper go at someone I knew was wrong though. It developed some solid communication skills as well. I felt alive!    

When I opened my tumblr, suddenly lots of things were a big deal. Friends sharing posts about tragedies that had happened, about venomous members of different communities. This only escalated after I left the Atimers for Homestuck fandom, which was itching for a good fight. So I got in the gang with various LGBT bloggers, and watched the material they were sharing.   

So, there was stuff like Zamii, like scandals about ships, like scandals about what people did on other accounts... lesbian shippers were at war against gay shippers.... 

...and back in the cartoon fandom shows like SU were going under intense scrutiny from the people who enjoyed them, an overtly progressive show like SU had attracted an overtly progressive audience which was going to take absolutely no prisoners whatsoever, even on stuff that in most people’s eyes would never be a big deal. Standards that no other show in the history of television had lived up to. 

It’s not so much that SU etc were bad, or that they were not bad, but the thing that got to me was how the crew reacted. They couldn’t deal. They jumped to defend the show, say it was sooo not bad, that everyone else was being stupid. People deleted their accounts and stopped communicating with the internet. That was the harsh blow - the crew had decided the entire fanbase were not worth speaking to, because somebody criticised their work.

Not unlike what had happened to Homestuck, I feel.      

This was the time where I decided to step away from my tumblr account. I felt like I had to police everything I post because I was at the time a popular blog, if I stepped out of line - something ridiculously easy for a moron like me - then I wouldn’t be lynched as such, but my casual friends would reject me. I felt like this meant my tumblr friends weren’t true allies and it didn’t feel right to expose myself. (Not inclusive of the Group Chat friends or certain individuals from this site who are a whole different story of people I’ve neglected, I’m really sorry.) 

Watching the crews of all my fandoms just walk away at the first obstacle took the spirit out of being a fan too. 

Besides which, Homestuck was ending. It had decided late in act 6 to perform a round of virtue signalling which I felt was kind of facetious considering Hussie’s actual views on everything and the lack of energy he’d been putting into the story. Until the story ended I believed that maybe he’d changed, but then A7 dropped and I realised I was right all along. Years later, the epilogues have only reinforced my perspective that Hussie only wrote A6 to be so progressive because that was what he thought his current fans would be into, not because he thought it would be a good idea or the right thing to do. It shows because of how badly he’s handled it. 

So I joined the Homestuck reddit and became more active there than on Tumblr. Then I joined the Homestuck discord. 

The place at first was kind of... cold towards me, because of my reputation for being a firestarter whenever the topic of LGBT ships in homestuck came up (a reputation I am proud of - together we inflicted genuine change in the way the reddit handled homophobic content). I took a liking to it though because there is a ton of people and I didn’t have to engage in horrible one-on-one discussions where there could be intense emotional labour. I didn’t have to deal with people’s personal drama, with suicide threats, in-group fighting. I didn’t have to deal with callouts, because while they were a thing, they were just a silly thing that wouldn’t result in being kicked unless you were a genuine cunt. And I have grown to trust the place to protect itself from truly vile people. There are enough channels and there’s just enough activity that you can discuss whatever you like with a small group of people and have a good nonjudgemental discussion, though it will be layered with lots of sarcasm and maybe a couple of nasty comments, which I think I’m a bit weird for enjoying getting thrown at me. Playing the Fool is my forte. 

Watching the news now, even looking on tumblr, but ESPECIALLY looking at twitter, it’s so intimidating seeing how much people hate each other for acting naturally. Whether this is people who would be described by many as “social justice warriors” or people who would self describe as “anti social justice warriors”. I do think the latter are significantly more evil and petty to be honest because they’re doing something far worse over an issue that’s less severe than whatever they’re defending.  

The major issue appears to be people reacting without genuinely looking into whatever they’re being clickbaited with. This is stupidity at its finest. 

To summarise my position:  If you see something and it’s making you feel strongly, I implore you to sit back, think about what you’re looking at, maybe do a bit of research, then think about why it’s happened, and why it’s making you feel strong. If you do all that and your opinion is the same, great! You’ve got a well thought out opinion.   

If you refuse to do this, you’re being dumb and you should not try to cause controversy or grief.  

If you’re causing drama or harrassment about something purely out of spite to someone else who you don’t like much, go fuck yourself. 

Okay, post is over, go home everybody. Your homework for tonight is the controversy of the Homestuck epilogue, why it became what it was, and whether it’s justified to be angry. Please submit papers by tomorrow morning for review.  

thiswillbemynextblogpost

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 7 - Meat Page 26

==>

Back on to Jade swimming into the singularity or something.  (And trying to stop thinking that maybe Candy ends with a giant polyamorous relationship and/or orgy, because I don’t imagine Rose would have acted so tamely if that’s what she saw.)

Yes, Time is the complement of Space, that was already confirmed in comic if it wasn’t super incredibly obvious all along anyway.

Gah, I’m getting stomach cramps again.

Yeah, too much Space makes Time invisible and vice versa? Or...

Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out.

D:

God damnit these CRAMPS.  Reading further.

Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

FUCK are you going to start making me doubt the reality of the liFe we saw her living early in-comic?????  Cut it out, it’s unsettling!

Alright, alt!Callie is taking the reins from Dirk on this narrative he so smugly thought he could completely consume.  That’s good/bad.

slutty adult Jade

FUCKING YIKES!! FUCK YOU DIRK!

FUCK I DIDN’T NEED HER DEATH DESCRIBED IN SUCH DETAIL EITHER.  Also alt!Callie’s really embodying Death here.

==>

Pff.  Calliope’s writing the story now, in a sense, like she always kind of wanted.

Also pff, this version of her doesn’t know how to describe human stuff colorfully.  :)

An adversarial dichotomy between your opposing goals, huh?  This might end up as a “none of us can really write the ending” ending that DOES leave it up in the air for everyone else to decide instead.

Fuck, now you’re having THIS Jade suffer by proxy by experiencing the other Jade’s memories.  This metatextual ascension’s happening to everyone isn’t it.

Yeah, she’s done it before and stuff--

when jade turns to look at roxy, her eyes are completely black.

FUCK.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

Well, fuck.  Jade’s been temporarily hijacked for the rest of the story AGAIN, like back in Condesce days, this time as a plot device to keep Dirk from overreaching with his god powers and stepping over everyone’s wills like an Ultimate Riddle style villain.  Dirk, I mean.  Being the villain.  And alt!Callie just doing what she has to to put this back on track.  Man I HATE it when Jade’s will doesn’t get to be on full display.  Her will is awesome.  (Also, alt!Callie just tacitly confirmed that the will of reality’s occupants matters, if that wasn’t obvious already, so ha.)

despite his pretensions to a greater design, the prince of heart cannot be allowed to continue to exert unchecked control over the authoritative recitation of events on this side of my horizon. it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

Yeah, it was indeed looking that way earlier.

Ooh, alt!Callie is really spot-on with her pronoun use.

Alright, Dirk’s voice is shrinking away, and my stomach still feels half-clenched.

Wow, alt!Callie’s really mad at what Dirk’s been doing with this epilogue.

==>

“EPILOGUE FIVE”?????

Did I miss the titles for one, three, and four??? Yeah there were probably there and I just missed them or something.

Pfffff, John looks/smells like shit.  :D

...too fresh??

Fuck you John for thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn’t a masterpiece.  :P

terezi tips her head to one side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be an apt summation of her personality as well.

Niiiiice.  Nice linguistic description of her “>:?” expression.

have no desire to interject thoughts into others’ minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind, however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts than i am willing to be.

Oh thank fucking god, I don’t have to question everyone’s thoughts anymore.  Until Dirk comes back or something, I dunno.

Oh my fucking god, alt!Callie, you total voyeuristic nerd.

he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.

This is one very relatable snippet of text.

Feed Terezi Feed Terezi Feed Terezi

WHY is the gold tooth poisonous???????  ...Wait, Caliborn affixed it to his mouth intentionally.  He had every right and motive to make it poisonous for no good reason.  Ugh.

Beep beep, let’s find Vriska.

==>

WHAT

WHAT JANE

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

JESUS

Using Trickster Mode as a drug to further one’s political performance.  That’s fucking horrifying.  No wonder it was on the triggers list.

additionally, it prevents one from dwelling on any given personal problems, or the greater implications of any political statements one might make.

Pff, mhmm.

Problematic, huh?  Jane seems like the slightly-old-fashioned sort of person who thinks it’s getting kind of ridiculously silly how much people are caring about stuff being “problematic”.  And yet that stuff DOES matter, and ignoring it DOES hurt people, and she not only isn’t seeing that but is drugging herself to see it LESS with that goddamned lollipop.  Holy shit.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

PFFF.  Okay, so alt!Callie ISN’T above altering characters slightly from their narrative course when it comes to one of the few things she deems important.  Heh.

Having “his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed”, huh?  Does alt!Callie only mean the narrative, or maybe Rose too with whatever weird bullshit he did to her?

Uh, “while the seer both diminishes and ascends”???  D:

--Oh, oh shit.  He was planning to NARRATIVE CONTROL Jake into going along with things.  D: D:

Yeah, Jake would want to bang all the aliens, really.

Sendificator rifle, or something like that.  Got it.

==>

How fucking long is this epilogue, anyway?????  I mean, the length is appropriate from an objective point of view, I’m just frustrated because I’m going to have to spend every waking hour liveblog-reading it until I’ve reached the end or I’m likely to fucking explode, and I didn’t want this to be my entire day/weekend/existence again AAGH HOMESTUCK YOU BLACK HOLE

anyway yaay karkat in a suit.

Alluding to assassination attempts?  What, is that red rifle going to try and fulfill that old “through the silver screen and straight into my heart” unused foreshadowing-herring from act six, or five, or whenever it was? Five, I believe.

Pff, super pacs, yeah.  Dave’s nearly as political as me now or something.  Except he actually acts on it here instead of just sitting around talking about it and thinking he’s right all the time, like me.

Wait, JANE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH with smearing Jake??!???  Holy shit she’s lost touch.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS! KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE! DAVE: yeah its awesome

Pfffff.

...yeah, Jake isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except Dirk right now, really.

Oh huh, Dirk HAS been as controlling of Jake as he used to be, now that alt!Callie’s pointing it out.  Just with an even more insidious mechanism.

Oh cool, Karkat’s version of the policy pitch!  :D :D :D  Can’t wait can’t wait reading

(dont lie karkat you totally know shes hot)

Pff, stop making it seem obvious that Dirk wanted to assassinate Jake for political purposes.  Heck, even if that WAS his plan it’d just be a temporary death that he’d resurrect from and then they’d try to turn it into... what, some media spin on how Karkat might have been responsible? Or a troll?? That latter part would make things MUCH more xenophobic.  I’m starting to get seriously into the politics of this.

==>

Pff, now ‘rezi’s eating tobacco.

...okay, is Terezi REALLY going to go for a real conversation with just an honest ask for one?  I don’t think so--

--aaand there she goes laughing, as expected.  At least at first.

Yep, Terezi’s wearing the shoes.  Nice date gift.

--And yep, Terezi remembers all that.  She managed to do the nigh-metatextual mind merge with her other selves WITHOUT even needing God-Tier.

Yeah, Vriska always seemed fit to abandon the kismesis you deserved when it suited her, ‘rezi.  :(

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF! TEREZI: OH D34R GOD JOHN: yeah!!!

Yeah I cackled out loud at that.

TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T? TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T

john swallows a thick breath. he reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as much as he believes he was supposed to.

Holy shit.  John’s survivor’s guilt from all the doomed timelines he witnessed and escaped is keeping him from feeling their victory has been real, and making his “squandering” of it gut his self-esteem too.  God damnit.

Roxy and John wouldn’t have worked out????? Hey Terezi, quit it! >:[  That’s not fair, just very plausibly and authoritatively dismissing a ship we’d hoped for offscreen like--  Oh, shit, she’s alluding to something that happened in the Candy side I haven’t read isn’t she.  She would DEFINITELY have an idea of what happened on the other side of that Choice Split with her hero role.  Fuck what am I in for

....pfff, that Callie vs Dirk bit.  It’s like revenge against Doc Scratch, which it kind of IS, really.

I didn’t expect this much time to be spent dwelling on really intimate John/Terezi scenes.  It’s really refreshing!  Making this kind of meaningful no matter whether it’s black or inexplicably red they end up with or whatever, and equally meaningful if they don’t end up in any sort of relationship at all, really.

even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life.

Alt!Callie, are you causing this?  I thought you wanted to be impartial.

Okay, THAT finally brought things suitably closer to the black side of romance like I would have expected.

==>

their finger hovers over dirks number for a moment, but... no. that would not be a good idea. they don’t know why they suddenly think it’s a bad idea. it just is.

Okay, THAT shred of influence is fair.  You DID say you were going to countermand his influence, so yeah.

Good excuse to get narration of her thoughts, if flimsy.  :)

Lord save me from this fake woke nightmare.

Pfffff.  Fuck you, Dirk.  ;)

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

FUCK you’re going to kill JADE aren’t you???? You’re giving Jade a TEMPORARY DEATH just to deny alt!Callie’s proxy?!?? That’s fucking insidious!  Fuck you, Dirk!!! That one wasn’t a loveable joke this time, that was an ACTUAL fuck you.  This epilogue is really good at making him out to be the villain now that his powers have expanded to the narrative.

Reading reading reading...

...Huh.  Is Roxy talking about coming out as non-binary and getting advice on it?  Hm!

Alright, and she’s defs a little gay for Callie from what she’s saying if it wasn’t clear before.  If “gay” even has any relevance when you’re talking about a pair of non-binary... yeah whatever.  :)

Alright, time to hear Dave talk about it all some more I guess.

--Yep, he’s only mostly gay.  Called it.  There’s a whole spectrum.

...and yeah, I mean... why NOT let it go beyond quadrants with Karkat and never slap an official label on it?  You’re just two people who love each other and want to spend time together in any capacity, be it positive or negative.  It doesn’t have to result in anything formal unless you want it to, much less boning down or something.  Dirk, stop getting creepy with how hard you’re shipping them, that’s the fanbase’s job.

Jade and Roxy are visible from this location, right?  Wasn’t it mentioned that they live in a tower in Carapaceville or whatever?  Has Dirk successfully conned alt!Callie into having her vessel shot through?  Probably.

the ongoing corruption of his cerebrally impaired daughter.

Eewwwwweweewww

Anyway yeah here comes the plot twist or whatever...

Yeah, Callie gets it wrong, and--

......ah, a tranq?  That makes more sense and is more than slightly less evil, if still ultimately evil given his eventual presumed goals or whatever.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

FUCK YOU

Oh, Jade’s going to be asleep for the rest of the story?  AGAIN?!????  FUCK YOU SO MUCH, DIRK.

Jesus christ.  How long is this epilogue anyway.

Taken your leave?  From this planet???  What the fuck, are you--

Oh.  Oh shit.

When Dirk ascended into absorbing the memories of all his various split selves, did he get a heaping helping of DOC SCRATCH in there too???  Was Doc Scratch’s ambition actually for POST-victory ascension in this very manner? FUCK.  Either way, him sharing some of those memories puts a pretty unique spin on his descent into goddamn evil, here.

Reading on... oh shit, did Callie write the candy half??

==>

Huh, postcoital; we actually went there.  Cool.

Ah, she gives up on Vriska?  Better find Vriska really fast, then.

Oh, you’re really going? Or, trying, anyway.

==>

Really committed to this whole ascending to literal godhood schtick, aren’t you, Dirk?

(Hm.  Makes me almost think that this situation with Rose is going to end up with someone splitting her essence entirely in two to save her; her raw Seer-ness getting forced into a convenient vessel (cueball, wonk wonk) and herself returning to consciousness a slight bit more mortal than she was before, ie not going completely insane.  Hmm.)

Oh, “Vast Fuck” sorta-maybe-confirmed..??

Stop tacitly insulting Jake as you puppet him, Dirk.  He’s a dumbass but not THAT much of a dumbass.

beta-bitch

FUCK YOU, DIRK.

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart. 

Fuuuuuuck you.

could subsume your entire personality

Shit, he IS trying to pretty much consume them all.  Swallow their individuality and take total control of all their actions.  All Prince of Heart on the whole world.  Dirk you need to fucking DIE.

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

There isn’t a Fuck You large or loud enough to what I feel about the mental violation Dirk is inflicting on Jake right now, and everyone else around him, and I sincerely and selfishly hope this epilogue is almost over because I don’t want too many pages to stand between this one and seeing Dirk fucking PAY.

Jake opens his big, dumb mouth to make the only important contribution to the plot he ever has or ever will make in his whole sad, pointless joke of a life.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

Let’s hope that in your hubris your looking away managed to let him say something different or some such.

==>

You try to remember if you’ve ever been revived by Jane before. You honestly can’t recall. So much shit has happened. Maybe?

Yeah, I don’t recall either really.

The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Okay, fuck?  How the hell?  Is this just because Dirk says it is, or???

I guess it’s tragic, though maybe not in the conventional sense. My view is, the real tragedy with you, John, is that you never mattered all that much.

Yeah, Dirk’s first fucking rant when he took over the narrative officially was about John being a you-insert nobody average guy, and the DISDAIN he shows to everything about who John is is pretty goddamn insulting.  He has NO concept of how John managed to bring everyone together or... UGH!

even though you knew both then and now that it was the only choice you possibly could have made.

Dammit, so it probably WASN’T a full timeline-bisecting Mind split.  Just a side branch that wasn’t as likely, because just like with his Denizen, John’s will was tilted toward this part of the choice.  D:

I see how some of this seems to be going, or at least think I do... Dirk thinks that John needs to die heroically “for the good of the story”, and something’s potentially going to come in and say “no”?  That the whole reason they WON was to essentially be free of that cruel logic once and for all, and that Dirk is gonna get one hell of a smackdown for trying futilely to enforce it in their new post-victory domain??

She listens to him bleed while she smells him die.

--That, and fulfilling bits of foreshadowing for shits and giggles.  >:(

Huh, “friable”, didn’t even know that was a word.  Just looked it up; you learn something new every day.

Okay what is Dirk planning with the fucking body.

==>

Jane swept the election, of course. I told you I was going to win. After Jake’s incoherent and scandalous heel-turn at Karkat’s ill-fated rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvaged the Vantas campaign. 

Ah, but is that what REALLY happened, or what you’re saying happened, about to be overwritten?

Mainly that their BFF Jade has been in a coma for an entire month. They’ve been in and out of the hospital handling her affairs. Her next of kin is listed as John Egbert, and no one’s seen him in ages. It’s like he just disappeared suddenly. Like some great hand came out of the sky and crossed his name off the big list of guys we ever need to give a shit about anymore.

F U C K  Y O U

Roxy, after all, and since her big heart-to-heart about the personal politics of queer onion metaphors, and ten stages of galaxy-braining through the many vicissitudes of the phrase “no homo,” Roxy has decided to really step up her gender experimentation. I guess at this point she’s gone beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reaching Super Saiyan 2 of gender, and then going even further beyond.

Holy crap, she’s going full Dave Lalonde.  That’s pretty sweet.

...Isn’t Terezi like obviously covered in blood and stuff?

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

Oh my fucking GOD real!Callie please save the plot.  Nuke this self-indulgent Dirkshit.

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

...This is an allusion to the Candy side I haven’t read, isn’t it?  Maybe THAT’s part of what she supplants this bullshit with.  Or since it mentions “various combinations”, she’s restoring the possibility to everything that the ending was supposed to have?

This is potentially a real fucking indictment of the idea of a narrative-driven ending when what actually mattered was the characters’ escape from said narrative.  :)

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

Okay fuck maybe Callie ISN’T helping.  Maybe she’s just so worried about the alternate history she could have lead that she’s retreating into every Candy-like fanfic she can think of.  :(

What’s with the phone buzz?  The intervention we’ve been hoping for, since Dirk’s making her ignore it?

Oh cool, figures Terezi’s been hearing the narrative all along and just politely not acknowledging the fact that she hears it!  Maybe SHE’LL help unfuck this mess.  (And according to her, Roxy’s gone full “him” too!)

Fuck fuck fuck Terezi don’t listen to him go against his bullshit instead

Where, canon? Is that where you’re planning to escape back to or some such, with yourself as the author? Is that orange Andrew actually you or some BS?

Dammit.

==>

FUCK, “new body”????

The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

FUCK FUCK FUCK it IS the cueball isn’t it.  Holy shit.  That’s even worse than a robot.  FZUCZK

Okay calm down.  The Rose part of Rose can be cut away and rescued from this fate somehow, if she isn’t just whole-hog rescued entirely which would also be good.  FUCK DIRK

...look purple? What?

DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for everybody.

Yeah, go fuck yourself.  This shit had better be undone soon.

To finally face the truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then what does that say about YOU, Kanaya?

PFFFF. YOU’RE GONNA BREAK UP THE PAIRING JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL HER?  HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

Okay, after THAT page’s last bit of horrid manipulation, this can’t end in any way that doesn’t involve ages of existential and literal torment for Dirk, forever.

==>

Epilogue Seven, huh.  One last thing he wants to take care of before getting out of dodge, huh.  I see Karkat and Dave’s text colors on screen.  Is he going to try to force them to finally bone down or confess?  This would be the perfect place for his plan to get fucking stopped.

Homestuck, stop making my fucking stomach clench so hard.

That’s a hell of a disaster Dirk thought up for these guys on that stage.

Part of this whole shitshow might be to tell us that this ending, this “fanfic” of dubious authenticity of an epilogue that Dirk is giving us is how DIRK believes it would end best for everyone involved, but not how everyone else would, ignoring their wills... while also discarding the idea of the epilogue that any individual reader of Homestuck would want in favor of the possibilities he meant to leave open with the ending.

Alright, here comes Dirk NOT forcing them to bone down but rather trying to persuade-brainwash them into a relationship talk.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

Dave. Please.

Hey, the Gurren Lagaan reference went WAY too long unsaid.  Even if Andrew literally didn’t know a thing about said anime when he made the character designs.

I look Dave right in his mind’s eye and tell him to cut it the fuck out. He wants it, you want it, so just go for it, my man. It’s now or never.

DAVE: oh DAVE: same

I feel every brain cell in my immortal body begin to perish in real time.

BAAHAHAHAAHHhahahha FUCK YOU Dirk.

I mean, I want Dave and Karkat together as much as the next guy but FUUUUUUUCK YOU DIRK!!! I want everything you ever wanted to go wrong and shit on you.  Their equivocating soft-nearly-mance is strong enough to go even against you, who thinks yourself the narrative fucking Sun.

Oh this is fantastic

I’ve literally been decapitated and that was less unbearable than this.

YES KEEP FALLING APART

You see that twinkle? That’s devotion, you unbelievably dense neutron star of a dumbshit.

Nice callback to... what was it, Dave’s first rant at Tavros to troll him back or whatever?

radially effervescing kaleidoscope of more hot boy peckers than you could ever imagine.

Yep, DEFINITELY a callback to that. I’ll never forget the sick flow of that metaphor.

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

SAVE US DAVE

Dammit, near miss.

The privilege of a Strider Eye Moment is about the most earth-shattering experience a young man will ever have in his life. 

Pfff

DAVE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF!!!

yaaaaaayyy

I mean we didn’t save the whole story yet but at least Dirk got fucked over and we still get Davekat intimacy.

That’s pretty classy actually, not getting into detail and just sounding blown the fuck away by it even though he’s Dirk.  That’s pretty good.

==>

Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it.

Oh so it IS a robot body.  Well, fuck you a little less than it potentially being the magic cueball, but STILL fuck you.

I may have already mentioned, but I’m a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for me.

It’s called killing their soul with your role abilities you ASSHOLE

I hope this crush you filled him with bites you in the fucking ass now that he’s here.

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

Oh, so you’re just going to drop the truth on him like that? Let’s see how that works out for you, asshole.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

Oh fuck you.  This is “best for everyone”, huh?????

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know. DIRK: Her candy boy? JAKE: CANDY BOY??? DIRK: Yeah. Being on call. DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such. DIRK: To provide her with many heirs. DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool? JAKE: HEIRS??

Um.  What the fuck?  Is this even Dirk anymore?  It’s not Condesce intervention, I’m not going to try and suspect that just from the callback or anythiiiii-----

Fuck, we DID just get an alive Meenah dropped into a universe somewhere.

Maybe this IS Condesce intervention. Just a different Condesce.  o_O

Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.

Gah???

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

So this was all just revenge for dumping him??????????????

==>

Guh, back to Kanaya-- wait, why does Dirk want Terezi around, anyway?

Jade wakes up and then-- Okay. Okay my eyes flitted down to the green halfway down the page and I saw this phrase before I actually got to it.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Thank FUCK.

Anyway reading the in-between...

The scope of her awareness, she now understands, is truly staggering. Memories are suddenly accessible that are almost impossible to believe. Some of them are unspeakably marvelous to her. Others, deeply disturbing.

FUCKING COOL she got Ultimate-Selved!  Now she knows too much about what’s going on to stop her!  Get fucked, Dirk!!!!

No, more than just disturbing. She lingers in the dark recesses of her consciousness. There were things she saw, things she was told... Her mouth twists into a silent snarl. She’s been angry plenty of times before. But never so angry that she stopped being cute. She’s not cute this time.

YEAAAAAHHH JADE GET ANGRY

This had better not be Dirk intentionally riling her up since he still has control of the narrative though.

Next post.

[longroadstonowhere]

this is it

the final chapter of wild child

six and a half years ago, i wrote a little story with an open ending, and i thought well, maybe i’ll come back to this, who knows - i was just starting to get back into writing again, after taking several years off because nothing really inspired me to write

and then there was homestuck, and there were friends to encourage my writing, and after a while i thought, well, why not try continuing that seed of a story

six years ago this saturday, i published the second of what i thought would be six or eight chapters at most - clearly that estimate was completely wrong, haha - but i’m glad i continued this, because i’m proud of what i’ve done here

to everyone who’s read any part of this story, thank you

(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 ao3)

Paul collapsed on the couch. John had stormed off through the front door after Jade had made her escape, and he couldn't blame either of them.Probably one of my worst parenting moments to date, he berated himself. Honestly I can't imagine how much worse I could have done.

Roxy settled on the couch next to him and stroked his back. "Well, that was a little bit of a shitstorm."

"Doctor!" Paul raised his head and looked at the stairs. "Your daughter -"

"Left to go find the others. They'll be fine." She sat back, tapping her hands against her thighs. Suddenly, she stood and made her way to the kitchen. "I'm going to get myself something to drink. Would you like some?"

He frowned. Early in the day for that, isn't it? He didn't voice his thought, though, just a simple "No thank you." Rubbing at his temple, he continued, "Really feel like I need to smoke, though."

She hummed in acknowledgement as she clattered around the kitchen. He heard something being poured into a glass, a pause, and then liquid splashing down the drain. He turned his head and saw the doctor filling two glasses with water. Coming back around the couch, she handed him one glass and held the other out. "To curbing vices," she proposed, with a facetious twist to her mouth.

With a matching half-smile, he tapped her glass and took a long sip. Swirling the water a little, he said mournfully, "I don't think John's ever been this angry with me, and I can't blame him. Every choice I made in this matter was the absolute worst choice I could have made. I can't expect him or Jade to ever trust me again."

"Well..." Roxy said thoughtfully. "It might be true that you could've handled things differently and it might have turned out better, but that's impossible to know for sure. Unless you have secret time travel powers?" she teased. Paul snorted out a little laugh despite himself. "No? That's sad, I could've used a new project at work. As for their trust..." Here she sighed. "I'll be honest - I've done my best for Rose, but I've done plenty I'm not proud of, either. Somehow, in spite of all my fuck-ups, she still loves me. I don't know how much she trusts me, but..." She shrugged helplessly. "All children discover their parents are human eventually. We can only hope they still love us when they get through to the other side."

Paul considered that for a moment. "I suppose... I just hoped that day wouldn't come so soon."

Roxy patted his shoulder in consolation. "From what I've seen, you've done a good job with both of them. With a little time, they'll come around."

John stomped away from their house, no goal in sight except just getting away. Dad is such an asshole! he fumed. I can't believe he kept this a secret from us for so long! I was so excited to show Jade what high school is like, and she knows the librarians so well, and what does any of it fucking matter?!? His feet kept pushing along with no interference from his brain, until he found himself near a small ostentatious building near the edge of the clearing that had been made around Rose's house. He didn't really notice the building, though. He was still too focused on mentally ripping his dad a new one. Tired of wandering at random, though, he started going around and around the little structure in a neverending circle.

"John?" Rose's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She stood some distance away, her arms crossed and one eyebrow quirked upwards. "Are you attempting to create a moat of some sort with your feet alone? I'd admire your perseverance and admittedly misguided ambition if that were the case - but I must inform you we don't often find ourselves under siege, and if we were this building would not be worth any particular attention."

"Oh, uh..." John shuffled his feet, a little embarrassed and still kinda angry at his dad. He didn't really want to unload any of that on Rose, though. "What is this thing, anyway? I don't think I've ever seen a building with pillars outside of like, City Hall."

"Well," Rose stepped forward, her hands moving to clasp behind her back, "this edifice began its life as a mausoleum for my former pet Jaspers. When he passed, my mother had this building constructed to give his mortal flesh a worthy final resting place." She smiled a little. "Then, after some self-reflection and a strongly worded letter from one of my teachers, she decided that was a little fucked up and decided to give Jaspers a more traditional burial for a simple pet - a shoebox buried beneath the flowers. Now we use this thing as a gardening shed."

"Huh. That's... really weird actually."

"That is but the tip of the weirdness manifesting itself as my mother," Rose said. "However, while I could continue to overshare emotionally scarring anecdotes from my past, I think I would serve better as an open ear than an open mouth. So," she carefully settled herself on the grass near the bizarre mausoleum-shed, "have a seat and let's, as the youths say, rap about your feelings."

John snorted without really meaning to. "You sound like a forty six year old woman trapped in a teenager's body saying that."

"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean by that, young man," Rose stated primly. She patted the grass beside her. "I must insist on the sitting, though. I'll strain my neck if you continue to stand while we talk, and it is simply impossible to find a good masseuse in this neck of the woods."

"Well, I wouldn't want to do something ungentlemanly like cause you grievous bodily harm," John joked as he sprawled next to Rose, his legs stretched in front of him. Once he was sitting, though, he had no idea what to say next. Rose had helped bleed some of his anger away by distracting him, but he could still feel it boiling away in his heart. "I dunno if there's much for me to say. My dad's a jerk and Jade's gonna have to leave, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Rose tilted her head slightly, like she was accepting what John said without agreeing with it. "I'm not so sure that last statement is true, but we can circle back to that. Let's talk to your father first. Does he often spring news on you like this?"

"... No. He usually tells me stuff way before it matters. He always says he wants to give me space to get used to something new, but this is like one of the hugest things that could ever happen and he just drops it all at once?" John exhaled in disgust and fell backwards, his arms stretched out above his head. "I'm already fucked up about high school and growing up, why does this have to change too?"

Rose sighed. "Change can truly be a brutal taskmaster, one with no mercy or compassion for those swept along in its wake. But, well..." Rose paused for a long time, long enough that John wondered if she was done talking entirely. He didn't feel the need to fill the silence for once, though - it felt weirdly okay to just let time pass. He watched a few wisps of cloud slowly drift across the sky. Finally Rose started to speak again. "Honestly, I generally find change to be a shitty joke played on the unprepared fools we all are, but sometimes it can be an unexpected boon. For example," she turned and gave John a surprisingly genuine smile, "though I've only known you a short time, I find both you and Jade to be quite pleasurable additions to my life, an outcome I'd certainly never have predicted in advance. So, even if all the events leading up to our meeting have been exceedingly shitty, I would deem the end result quite satisfactory."

John took a few seconds to process all those words before snorting in laughter. "Wow, that's one of the dorkiest ways I've ever heard someone say 'Let's be friends!', ahahahahaha!" He curled in on his stomach, unable to stop laughing.

Rose sniffed in disapproval. "Such boorish antics... truly it is a mystery how you have ever befriended anyone. 'Tis a riddle I should have to devote my life to unraveling, if I were so inclined to such an activity." Her words sounded kinda mean, but she didn't make any moves like she was going to walk off and just leave him there. And she'd come out to find him after he'd stormed off, which said a lot more than her words did.

Well, maybe not a lot more... John thought, considering how many words Rose generally said. But it does mean a lot, at least. John sat back up and smiled at Rose. "Thanks. I guess I kinda needed that."

She nodded graciously. "My pleasure. I've found something of a fascination for delving into the psychological depths of those around me, so it is gratifying to find a material beneficial output for my knowledge."

"Uh, sure, okay." That sounded kind of like 'you're welcome', if he didn't think about it too hard. John stood and dusted bits of grass off his shorts. Looking at the house, though, he wasn't ready to see his dad again yet. Besides, he had something very important to do. "So, where do you think the tallest tree is around here?"

Jade swung her feet in the air, her eyes sweeping over the unfamiliar horizon. Off the island for months and I still run for a tree when something's wrong, she berated herself. Growing up, climbing trees had been both fun and beneficial, since it gave her the best view of her surroundings, letting her scope out unplundered plants or useful scrap that drifted onto the beach.

Trees had also helped her escape from the beasts that had grown bold after her grandpa's death, animals that Bec could take on one at a time but could easily overwhelm him with numbers. Most of the ones who were chasing her for food couldn't climb, though, so the higher she went, the safer she was.

There weren't any beasts like that here, though - nothing that would kill her, tear her to shreds for a decent meal. She was safe here, probably the safest she'd been in her entire life.

And yet she still ran.

I'm better than this, she thought angrily. I've been around people all the time, and I didn't hurt Rob at all when he tried to fight me, and... Ugh!She fell backwards, hanging off the branch upside down. I can't believe how dumb I'm being about all this!

She sat like that for a while, letting the blood rush to her head until it started to hurt. She let it pound away, the pulsing in her head matching her anger at herself. It got so loud that she almost missed Bec's quiet warning bark - no danger but he saw something that needed her attention.

Straining, she looked down at the ground upside down and could see John at the bottom of the tree approaching Bec carefully. He stopped a few feet short and held his hand out to the dog, who padded forward and let John scratch between his ears. His light laughter drifted up the tree towards her. He gave Bec one last big scritch and looked up the tree at Jade. "Hi Jade! Cold you come down a couple branches? I wanna talk but I don't really want to shout, and these trees are harder to climb than the ones back home."

Home. That word hurt more than she thought it would. She'd gotten over the idea of having a home to belong to years ago, right? Home was about people, after all - that's what her stories had said, and all she had was Bec.

John stood quietly at the bottom of the tree, but he was shifting his weight back and forth, like he was trying to decide if he should leave or not. Finally he tightened his fists and nodded to himself before approaching the tree. He jumped and just barely caught one of the lowest branches, pulling himself up until he could straddle it. Balancing against the tree trunk, he slowly stood up on the branch and looked for the next one. He eyed one just out of reach, but before he could make a jump for that one, Jade called down, "If you're gonna be stubborn, fine, I'll climb down a little." He was super bad at climbing, after all, and dealing with a broken leg or something would just make everything even worse.

Jade casually dropped down the tree until she was a few branches above John. She settled into the nexus of several branches and waited for him to say something. He was the one who wanted to talk after all.

"So..." John said as he sat on his branch again, his legs dangling in the air. "That's some shitty news, huh? Kinda wish Dad had told us earlier, but I guess there's no good time for that kind of news. It's weird to think he could mess up like that, though. Adults aren't supposed to fuck things up."

Jade pressed her back into the tree, trying not to think about what parents should or shouldn't be like. Imagining how things could go wouldn't change what was happening.

John sighed loudly. "Wow, I suck at cheering people up. Rose is way better than me at this." He shook his head vigorously and slapped his hands to his cheeks. "Okay! Here's what I really need to say!" He looked straight at Jade, locking eyes with her. "I want you to come home with me and Dad, and I don't care what anyone says about it. You're my sister, and you belong with us, and anybody who thinks differently is gonna regret it, even if they are some hotshot lawyer with... a briefcase and... and a carphone!" He scowled at the ground, one hand on his forehead. "Wow, that last part sounded stupid, just ignore that bit. The important thing is you're my family, no matter what anyone says."

Jade froze, not sure what she should do. No one had ever made her feel important like that, not since Grandpa... No, she admitted, not even Grandpa. Before she realized it, she was dropping down towards John, grabbing him in a strong embrace when she reached his level. "Whoa - !" John flailed and nearly fell off, but Jade made sure they stayed. Once they were stabilized, John hugged her back, and they stayed like that for a long time.

Bec's soft whine, followed by some scratching noises, finally convinced Jade to pull back. She looked down through surprisingly watery eyes to see Bec pawing at the trunk of the tree. "I'm fine," she told him, a smile pulling at the side of her mouth. And she was, for once. She actually was.

Beside her, John wiped a few tears out of his eyes. "Wow... now I know how Cameron Poe must have felt when he finally gave Casey that bunny," he laughed.

Jade laughed too, and shoved at him a little. "No more lame movie references, we are having a serious moment!" John was too distracted trying to stay seated on the branch to argue. Jade let the smile drop from her mouth as she gathered her thoughts. "... Do you really think they'll make me leave you guys?"

John furrowed his brow in deep thought. "Custody can be really weird sometimes. But, you know..." John trailed off, looking around at their surroundings. "If you did have to live somewhere else, this wouldn't be the worst place probably. Rose is pretty cool, in a super nerdy way, and it does look pretty."

"I guess... but... " Jade gathered her courage. "I don't want to. I want to go... home."

John wrapped one arm around her. "Okay. That's what we'll do."

John sat on the couch, doing his best not to fidget nervously and absolutely failing on all fronts. Jade lay on the floor in front of him with Bec, the pair tussling half-heartedly over one of Bec's toys that they'd brought along. Rose sat on one of the other couches, knitting a scarf or something and looking for all the world like she didn't care about anything else besides her project.

The day before, they'd all had a real long talk about strategies and feelings and everything in between. There had been more than a few manly tears shed, as well as some hugs so tight they squeezed the air out of everyone's lungs,, but at some point all they could do was wait for the lawyer to come and discuss everything with them.

The adults were with the lawyer now in Dr. Lalonde's study, discussing the dry details of Uncle Harley's will. Rose had tried to argue that all of them should be present, but Dad thought they would run out of steam if they had to listen to the minutiae, so he'd suggested the kids come in once all the boring stuff was over. On the one hand, John couldn't really blame his dad - he could barely pay attention to his teacher's lectures, and he could understand what they were talking about for the most part.

On the other hand, that left the three of them out here with nothing to do but obsess over whatever was happening in that room.

Unable to keep still any longer, John leaped to his feet and started pacing between the couches and the stairs, carefully stepping over Jade and Bec on his way. Neither girl seemed to pay him any mind, but he knew Jade at least was probably keeping an eye on him. Probably Rose too, really. They were both scarily observant of where people were at all times. They'd probably get even scarier about it if they ended up living together.

Nope nope nope! John shook his head sharply. Jade's gonna come home where she belongs, and that's that, even if I have to kidnap her. He stopped pacing, one hand coming up to cup his chin. I'd have to drive, since I don't think we could get on an airplane without some kind of adult, and also tickets would be super expensive. Driving can't be that hard, right? I should be tall enough to reach the pedals on Dad's car, and I know where he keeps his keys. Food, though...

"Um, John?" Jade's voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see her kneeling on the couch, looking at him in concern. "What... are you doing?"

John laughed nervously. "Oh, I was.... planning how to kidnap you?"

Behind Jade, he could see Rose shaking with suppressed laughter. Jade half-smiled, but her heart definitely wasn't in it. He sighed and rubbed the back of his head - she was just as nervous as he was, if not more, and he had no idea how to fix that.

Jade looked down the hallway towards the study. "How much longer do you think they're gonna talk?"

John shrugged helplessly. "I guess Uncle Harley had a lot of complicated stuff in his will? He was technically like a billionaire or something, since the Betty Crocker company belonged to him." He looked down the hall as well. "They could be in there for a really long time probably."

Rose set her knitting aside and confidently stood up. "Well then, I suggest we go see how they're getting on for ourselves." She came around the couches and strode past John towards the hallway. He gave Jade a quick look before following Rose, and he could hear Jade scrambling over the couch to join them.

Outside the study, Rose kneeled in front of the door, one ear pressed close. She motioned for John to be quiet as he approached. He frowned - he wasn't stomping around like an elephant or anything, and he knew better than to give away that they were eavesdropping! As proof of such intelligence, he didn't give Rose a piece of his mind then and there. Instead, he knelt next to her, pressing his own ear against the door to try and hear what was going on. Jade stayed standing and leaned over the both of them, one hand on John's shoulder to keep her balance.

The adults were talking quietly, making it difficult to hear them through the door. Okay, so maybe Rose had a good point about being silent, he thought ruefully. He had to breathe really slowly through his mouth to be quiet enough to have any chance of understanding what they were saying.

"As you can see, Mr. Harley was quite thorough in protecting the trust for Jade." That was the lawyer's voice - they'd introduced themselves to everyone before disappearing into the study with Dad and Doctor Lalonde. "And since he tied everything about access to the trust with whoever has Jade's custody..."

There was a barely audible sigh, which John recognized as coming from his dad. "Yes, I can see why you said you needed to speak with me in person. This is far more complex than I'd even imagined." A pause, with some furniture creaking that suggested his dad was moving around in some way - leaning forward maybe? "Why was he so particular about this? He must have trusted his business partners well enough, since he left them in complete control of the company while he was... gallivanting around the world."

More furniture creaks, and Dr. Lalonde said, "Jake was never very good with people - that's why he liked exploring so much, it meant he could just leave whenever he started worrying about whether he was offending someone or what have you." She laughed a little. "I think he might've left Jade to me just because he could stand being around me for at least a week at a time."

"I'd also like to note," the lawyer said, "he didn't leave his partners completely alone while he traveled. He had access to some extraordinary technology across the years - we take cell phones and their communication abilities for granted now, but fifteen or twenty years ago that instantaneous correspondence was just barely beginning to enter the public eye. Mr. Harley's island was kitted out with a whole host of machines that allowed him to check on his company far more often than one would have expected, and he could give them instructions as well. He was more hands-on than the company would lead you to believe."

The furniture creaked again, and John's dad said, "So he was still running the company from all the way out there?" His voice was getting louder and softer - it sounded like he was pacing back and forth. "He went to all those lengths, just to avoid his business colleagues while still keeping control of his company?"

"That's Jake in a nutshell, really. He had a great deal of pride in his family's company, so he couldn't let it pass from his hands while he was alive, but he couldn't stand living in the same 'humdrum reality' as the rest of us." The doctor's voice changed a little as she said those words, and Jade gripped John's shoulder a little tighter. Guess that's her Uncle Harley impression. It must be pretty good for Jade to react like that, John thought.

"Okay..." Dad still seemed to be pacing back and forth. "So he accepted his business had to pass into other hands on his death, but he wanted to provide a good future for Jade, and so he put all his wealth into this trust fund for her. Would his business partners really try to get at his wealth through Jade? I know it's quite a bit of money but -"

The lawyer interrupted. "They already have tried, and not just his business partners. Several parties have come forward inquiring about Jade's custody since they learned of her current situation. Somehow word's gotten around that Mr. Harley's fortune will not be funneled back into the company, as so many presumed it would, and regrettably some of those who made such presumptions are much less scrupulous than one would hope."

"Yeah, Jake had good reason to make his will so strong, unfortunately," the doctor said. "With what he knew, he made the best choices possible. I just wish he'd known a little more."

"It's unfortunate that he and Mother fell out of contact," John's dad sighed. "This all could have been avoided. And you're certain there's no way to accept custody of Jade without also gaining access to this trust fund?"

"No, that was one thing Mr. Harley didn't think of," the lawyer replied. "Of course, he assumed with everything else in place that Jade would go to Doctor Lalonde here, and he knew her to be in an extremely secure financial situation. As such, and because he personally knew her, Mr. Harley was certain that Jade's money would be safe in the doctor's hands."

"Yes, I wouldn't dream of touching her money myself, outside of providing for whatever lessons she desires in the future," Dad said. "But... if I try to take full custody of Jade, those vultures circling around Uncle Harley's will would try to argue that my motivation is purely financial, won't they?"

The lawyer responded, "Yes, I think it's safe to say they would certainly challenge your claim on those grounds, considering your own situation. After all, you've been holding up admirably, but even with just the quick glance you graciously allowed me, I can see that you've been struggling on that front for some time."

"What?" John said, unable to help himself. He clapped his hands over his mouth as Rose turned to glare at him. Oops.

The conversation in the study paused, and then footsteps came towards them. John and the others stepped away from the door, just in time to avoid stumbling through as John's dad opened it. He looked down at the three of them, smiling a little and shaking his head. "I suppose we should have expected you to tire of waiting for us to finish," he said. "Well, if you're going to listen, you should join us so you can speak as well." He turned back into the room and returned to the table they were all sitting around.

Rose wasted no time entering the room and claiming a chair for herself. John entered a little more cautiously, making sure Jade was right behind him. He felt sort of timid, which was a really weird feeling for him - most of the time, he jumped into a new situation too fast to feel anything more than excitement or anger or whatever. After that first rush, he usually just felt dumb about jumping in, but not timid. That was an alien thing.

He swallowed, trying to gulp down this weird feeling at the same time. "So... is that why we've been eating spaghetti all the time? Because we're poor now?"

"Oh John," his dad sighed. "We're not... yes, having another person in the house has strained our financial situation somewhat, but we're doing fine. Besides, I'll take any hardship to give you the life you deserve." He looked at Jade. "Both of you."

John glanced down at his hands, pride in his dad overwhelming his ability to say anything else. The lawyer politely cleared their throat. "That is extremely admirable, Mr. Egbert. I could only wish all parents were as devoted as you."

Dad blushed a little. "Well, it's the gentlemanly thing to do," he muttered.

Doctor Lalonde grinned. "You know, you almost sound like Jake when you say that." She sobered quickly, turning back to the lawyer. "So, as much as I hate to be all serious, did Jake leave any provisions for what would happen to Jade if I were..." Her eyes flickered to where Rose was sitting. "Let's say incapacitated?"

"You can say 'if you were dead', Mom," Rose stated, deadpan. "I'm well aware of how mortal our flesh is."

The doctor chewed her lip. "That's not the only thing I meant, Rose." Mother and daughter looked at each other, communicating something John couldn't even try to understand. Rose nodded, just a little, and seemed to relax slightly.

"In the event that you were incapable of serving as Jade's guardian," the lawyer diplomatically continued the conversation, "Mr. Harley specified that, to put it in simple terms, Jade was to be provided for in an identical way to your own daughter if at all possible. Any other contingencies specifically require your incapacitation."

"Ah, no luck there, then," she said lightly. "It was a long shot, anyway."

"Um..." Jade raised her hand a little. Where'd she pick that up from? John wondered - she obviously hadn't attended any real classes yet, but maybe she'd marathoned some school show and hadn't told them about it. "Can I say something?"

"Of course! This is your future, after all," the lawyer stated.

"Right, okay." Jade took a deep breath, in and out. "So, Grandpa wanted Doctor Lalonde to be my guardian, and made it really really complicated for anyone else to get the job because of this money he set aside for me, right?"

John's dad nodded. "That is a good summary of the situation, yes."

"So, um... is it possible for both you and the doctor to be my guardians?" Jade asked, looking at each of the adults.

The lawyer leaned back, stroking their chin. "Partial custody.... you know, I think that could actually work. I'll have to discuss it with my colleagues who are more versed in these things, but that should satisfy Mr. Harley's conditions regarding Doctor Lalonde as Jade's guardian, as well as allow her to spend most of her time living with the Egberts." They looked at the doctor. "I'm fairly certain you would have to host Jade for some significant period of time, though, or else you could be challenged on whether you were acting in good faith as her guardian."

Doctor Lalonde grinned. "How about... oh, say, six weeks every summer?" She turned to John and his dad. "I'd be more than happy to house the two of you, as well. It wouldn't be the same without everyone here."

Dad smiled wide, exuberant joy pouring out from his face. "That sounds absolutely perfect, Roxy. I would be more than happy to accept those terms."

"So... that works? I get to stay with John and Mr. Egbert?" Jade asked, like she had to hear someone say it straight out before she could believe it. Honestly, John couldn't blame her - he felt the same way.

The lawyer smiled. "As I see it, you get to stay with your family."

John whooped in joy and tackled Jade to the ground. "You get to stay!" he shouted - he was so happy, he wanted the whole world to know why.

Jade laughed and hugged him back. No matter what came next, John would remember this as one of the best moments in his entire life.

[spectrumscribe]

Alright, aus upon aus, and i want more. Give us your thoughts on their classpects.

Hello friend who is enabling my age old Homestuck obsession,sorry it so long to get back to you. Trust me, I have been thinking about thisask near constantly since I got it. Ijust took my time figuring it out, bc I really wanted to get it right. (For those without HS knowledge, a Classpect is the Class and Aspect of each game player, their Class being their game role, and Aspect being their powers.)

This is a shit tonof character analysis, and by god, I enjoyed every second I put into it. I gotto break down each of their characters, character flaws, and their truestpotentials. I should do this more often. It’s a lot of fun.

I made a bit of an essay out of this ask. I’m sorry. I rambleda shit ton. Buckle down if you chose to read this, it’s a long one.

So without further due, my headcanons for the 2012 six main kids(plus Karai) and their Classpects:

Leonardo I wouldplace as a Mage of Void. Mages will uniquely experience their Aspect, bothgood and bad. As a result, they gain a unique understanding of what theirAspect is or does. Their challenge is to become open to new insight ordifferent perspectives than their own.

A Mage of Void would seemingly be suffering from ‘Nothing’,(Void pun lmao), and thus no one would suspect something would be botheringLeo. But, and this is my own personal headcanon territory, I’d say Leo has beenrepressing and avoiding hisexperiences with the Shredder for the last three seasons, ever since he endedup in that coma of his. Something that traumatic drastically changed his characterfrom someone who might’ve been a bit controlling and overbearing at times, intosomeone who needs to be in charge of nearly everything and pushes his teammatesto lengths they don’t want to be. (And Splinter passing on the mantle of leaderand sensei to Leo has not helped that complex in the least.)

To avoid feeling useless, or unneeded, or like he’s failingexpectations, Leo overcompensates and does his best to make his own personaldoubts disappear (into the void). Underneath that though, I believe hestruggles, even without realizing it, with being unnecessary or ignored. (whilehe’s made firm effort to be heard and listened to by his siblings, it hasn’tbeen a healthy coping mechanism for anyone since Leo is still just avoiding hisrepressed issues, and making life a lot harder for everyone around him. see myfiction These Days for more about this, when I get around to publishing the Leochapter.)

As a Mage, Leo would probably be able to let go of all thesenegativities if he’d just open himself up to other options, other views andideas. He needs a stern talking to about how a leader is actually meant to act,(Leading, not ordering around. Keydifference here.), and a good long self-reflection period. If he faced histrauma, and his repressed issues, he’d be able to truly lead the team as heoriginally wanted to, and just be a much happier individual all around.

Donatello I wouldput down as a Knight of Blood. Knights hide a fear of a perceived fundamentalfailure with their Aspect behind a shield of confidence and obsessive effort.Their challenge is to learn to take it down a notch and to understand that theyare skilled enough.

Blood can mean a lot of things; blood bonds, blood brothers,blood relations. Donnie’s whole role in the family is centered around hisability to provide support and stability to his brothers, through hiscontinuous and never ending work to protect and build for them all. His empathyis the strongest out of all of them, reaching out to people easily andsympathizing with their struggles. Of course, this doubles back as a negativeon occasion, since Donnie is attempting to give more than he should, and thusexhausting himself as he fights against his imagined failings.

Knights of Blood tend to feel deeply insecure or inadequaterelating to something Flesh or Blood about them. In this case, that would beDonnie’s mutantness compared to the rest of the world, and his struggles inninjutsu. While his brothers take to martial arts with vigor and enthusiasm,Donnie prefers to spend time in his head or lab, and while he is skilled asthey are, he would likely still see himself as a lesser member of his family.He’s the odd man out, both in family, and to the rest of the world. The reasonsthat set him apart are never going to change, and those are heavy things toweigh on a kid, especially one as socially isolated as Donnie.

Of course, if Donnie was given mutual effort and supportfrom his family, he’d be able to become as stable as the work he does for themall. Reassuring a Knight that they’re good enough, that their skill and workand Aspect are things that they’re able to excel at, that you do in fact lovethem for who they are, would probably be all Donnie needs. To move past theperceived failings he has (of not being enough, or not being accepted for whohe is) he needs some good old TLC and genuine appreciation from his brothersand friends. (And his dad, who never once praised him for being himself through the whole series.)

Honestly, just give the genius the credit and attention andcare he deserves, and his emotional/mental state would improve 300%. Seriously.It’s that simple.

Michelangelo I’dplace as an Heir of Breath. Heirs naturally gravitate towards their Aspector unconsciously seek it out. All Heirs so far have huge amounts of Aspectrelated strength. Their challenge is to not get stuck on one thing and to knowwhen to move on and adapt.

Mikey is air and wind and other related words in a lot ofsenses. He’s finicky and whimsical, and tends to just do whatever the hell hefeels like. When he does listen toyou, it’s because he feels like it,not because someone else wants him to. This has caused a lot of trouble incanon, Mikey going off on an adventure of his own making because he caughtsomething interesting and won’t let it go until he feels like it. His charactersums up to be either hyper focused on oneparticular thing, or be completely distracted by ten plus ideas or eventswithout really getting involved with any of them.

He coasts through happenings and fights without ever reallyletting them touch him; off in his own world rather than deal with theharshness of reality. Heirs of Breath are notorious for seeming indifferent oruncaring because of this tendency. Mikey’s go to reaction to lighten asituation, or full stop ignore it, is a fine example of how Breath players copewith traumatic events. Didn’t happen if they don’t admit it did!

It makes Mikey out to be this very callous person, since henever gives time or effort to the things other people need him to, and keeps tohis own wants instead. But he is a very caring person, being the mostemotionally open and connected person in his family. He simply never chooses touse that openness in the right situation, or actually come back down to earthto be a stable member of the team. Currently, the best way of getting him tofocus on anything is to just throwhim at the problem and let him take it apart from there. I nearly put him in aDestroyer class because of that trait in Mikey; his ability to enter any sortof situation, and tear it to pieces if he feels like it. But, in the end, histrait to avoid a situation entirely by leaving reality entirely places him better as an Heir.

To overcome this part of himself, the whimsical destructionand deliberate ignorance, Mikey would need to buckle down and actually dealwith his issues, rather than pretend they’re not there for the rest ofeternity. He needs to learn to keep his promises, fulfill his obligations, andbe there emotionally for his family. (He is sometimes, but only when it suitshim.)

Raphael is innearly every canon, a destroyer of sorts; which is why I’ve placed him as a Princeof Doom. Princes ghost theiropposite Aspects as they destroy theirs. They are violently stubbornpessimistic people that stop at nothing to reach their goals. Their challengeis to not destroy themselves along their destructive path.

Princes of Doom are reckless, full of energy, and nearunstoppable when they hit their stride. Raph is a battering ram against thingsthat get in his way, and his temper is no help in curbing his destructivetendencies. His solution to a problem is 9/10 times to just destroy itcompletely. Someone or something gets between him and his family’s goals, he’lltake them out. No ifs ands or buts about it.

This is both a bane and a boon, since destroying barriers orblocks can mean destroying enemies or metaphorical restrictions. Raph is arebel, and a loud one at that, and has never been the type to let rules orthreats stop him from doing something. Sometimes this works in everyone’sfavor, sometimes it causes a painful fallout for everyone except Raph; theresult of Raph charging ahead without hindrance or regard for others aroundhim, or pushing and shoving until he gets his way. His go to reaction is alwaysto force people into his view ofthings, even if it’s through physical violence and someone gets hurt.

Using his destructive impulses correctly, including hisanger issues, would give Raph the strength and momentum to bowl down anythingthat attempted to hurt his family. Princes are horrifically powerful at theirpeaks, and at the top of that peak a Prince of Doom would be able to doomanyone who got in their path.  Raph could be the warrior he’s hinted athaving the potential to be, dependable and fierce and strong as bedrock, and ifhe got his head out of his own emotions he’d be able to realize that potential.

But as it is, Raph still stands a chance of being swallowedby his own Doom, since in canon he has yet to really grab hold of that temperof his (we’ve had what, like five episodes or something of him trying over andover to do that? bs, I tell you) and continues to physically push his siblingsaround whenever he doesn’t like what they’re saying/doing. (Looking at you,elevator scene, all the ones like it.)

April is acharacter that has grown and changed drastically over the season, and to methis screams Page of Hope. Pagesstart with a deficit in their Aspect that they confidently overcome through obviousovercompensation. Their challenge is to keep at it, even if they fail and thejourney is slow, for they become the strongest players

April started out as the team’s weakest link; new toninjutsu, new to espionage, new to everything. And then she hit her stride (andalso got traumatized a bunch of times) and became the most powerful above all. Seriously,she’s got enough power to warp the face of the earth; she was literally designedto be the genocidal weapon that would wipe out the human race. And, her powersdepend pretty much completely on her own emotions, confidence, and mentalwillpower. (Also, she gets glowy and floaty when she uses them, especially ather peak power, which resembles super closely Hope magic.)

In the beginning of the series, April was well-meaning andsomething pretty close to naïve. She depended nearly entirely on the boys fortheir help in things, tended to hang back when things went south. Then, becauseApril O’Neil is no one’s damsel in distress for long, she started to takecontrol of her life best she could and became this furious martial artist thatdidn’t let anyone get in her way. She tended to let people’s views influence herown at first, sometimes even believing boldfaced lies, but now no one can hide shit from her. She’s thehuman lie detector, and her own opinions are the ones she follows.

While the rest of the kids here have a quest or two tocomplete, April has already finished hers. She’s her own person, in control ofher own life and beliefs, and ten times as powerful as her season 1 self. At thispoint, the only things holding her back is her A) restraints on her powers,which could be even stronger if she’d let go of the (already flimsy) morals shehas, and B) her deference to Leo as the leader. (Leo is making one bad callafter another these days; April should really just defect to the Foot clan(read as ‘Karai and Shinigami’s Murder Ladies Only Club’) and embrace the sheerdeadliness of herself.)

Pages go from the weakest player on the team to the mostpowerful, and we heard Kravaxas say it himself. April is far more powerful than her mutant friends at this point, and willonly keep getting more powerful, so long as she works for it and believes inher abilities.

Casey, because he’sa problematic little shit, ended up with the same Class as Mikey, being an Heirof Life. Once again, Heirs naturally gravitate towards their Aspect orunconsciously seek it out, etc etc etc, and their challenge is to not get stuckon one thing and to know when to move on and adapt.

An Heir of Life fits Casey perfectly, much to my annoyance aboutrepeating Classes. They’re completely unrestricted in almost every way, havingno rules, no limits and no boundaries of any kind. They’re openly dominating,reckless, and full of optimism in everything they do. They are also extremelyeffective at what they do and have no problem rejecting anything that theythink isn’t valid or not useful to them. They have no problems sacrificingothers and breaking rules in order to open up more options for themselves andmake themselves even less restricted by everything. Sounds like Casey to a T,right?

Rather than how an Heir of Breath copes with their problems,ignoring them completely, Heirs of Life charge right into things and make their problems go away. Let itnever be said that Casey jones backed down from any sort of fight; he’ll just keep going until he can’t, and thenpush through anyways. Any problem, any obstacle, any sort of block or adversaryCasey has ever faced have all been dealt with the same way: bullheadedenthusiasm and utter confidence in himself to come out the victor.

Of course, this still tends to get him into trouble, and he’syet to learn temperance to his unfaltering attitude. Casey resilience to anysituation he encounters is admirable to say the least, buuuuuut he is alsousually the one to have gotten himself into said situation. He needs to learnto not tunnel focus on an obstacle, and look before he leaps. Only then will hestop getting himself into easily avoidable situations.

(And because I have a rough plot for a fic I want to write inthe future, I’m throwing in Karai’s too.)

Karai I see as a Witchof Time. Witches are enthusiastic, confident and optimistic rebels.They break and change the physical and metaphysical “Rules” of their Aspect.Their challenge is to use their rule breaking powers in a morally consciousway.

Karai is a not so morally conscious individual, and is inmany ways a rebel. She originally followed her (shitty fake adopted) father’sword without questions, and was fiercely loyal, but once she found out thetruth… well, she’s done nothing since then but try to tear the Shredder topieces, and I don’t blame her in the least.

She manipulates and schemes and does so with utterconfidence in herself. She’s put a lot of Time and effort into seeing her falsefather’s downfall, and she did in a clever and brilliant manner. (And I fuckinghate canon for robbing her of her own arc’s conclusion, and instead shunted thewhole thing over to Leo, while Karai was written into being ‘okay’ with notgetting her very well deserved vengeance.Fuck this fucking show, god.)

While Karai’s future position as a criminal empire warlordis one I fully agree with, I do think she needs to learn to mind the fallout ofher actions a bit better. Yes she should continue to forge her path ahead withall the fighting and gore that comes with being a ninja, but she should watchout that she doesn’t hurt people she shouldn’t in the process. (See: the BrokenFoot episode, where she brought Leo on and not the other boys, encouraged thesecrecy of things from the family, and resulted in Donnie being injured badlyenough he needed magical healing.)

Also: Karai  would be fucking terrifying as a Timeplayer. She could do anything she wanted to the fabric of someone’s Time (theirpast, present, future) and no one would be able to stop her once she’d put hermind to it. I would pay good money to see this come to be, because I do love awoman with a goal and not a lot of care how she reaches it.

Aaaaaaaaaand that’s about it! If anyone wants moreClasspects by me, feel free to pop into my inbox and ask for the characterspecifically! If I take a while, its bc this does take some serious thinking, but if the ask really catches myattention rest assured I’ll answer it eventually.

I miss the years when everyone was doing these. I miss beingallowed to turn everything into a Homestuck AU. *le sigh*

[adventures-in-poly]

The times when I want to post the least -- when my thoughts aren’t fully formed, when they don’t have a positive after-school-special spin at the end -- are probably the times when I should post the most. After all, that’s why people read what the hell I have to say in the first place. They don’t read my blog because I have the authority to speak of what poly Is and Isn’t. They read because I’m a beginner. Because I’m experiencing it in the here and now; because it isn’t always magical and shiny. Still, I feel like I’m expected to come out of this experience totally accepting poly into my life and overcoming all my bullshit. I expected that would happen when I started to develop this blog. I want to be that, for you. I want to show you that it can be done. But I might not be the person to do it.

I feel like my relationship with poly is resting almost entirely on my relationship with Crow. Here’s why:

I don’t like people. I don’t like the idea of people. I don’t like having people around me. I let people in who have been fully vetted. There are only two people in my life who I trust almost wholeheartedly. Beyond that, there are a small number of people who I trust enough to let them into my life and to spend the energy it takes to keep up a relationship. Crow, Crow’s wife, and M all fall into that circle somewhere. I have vetted them and, for the most part, I approve of them and, for the most part, I trust them, at least enough to... to I don’t even know. I trust them, at least enough for whatever enough means.

That may make me sound like a bitch, but if you knew me, I don’t think that’s the impression you’d be getting. I’m an INFJ. It’s a total INFJ thing to pick up on other peoples’ shit and absorb it. I don’t talk about being an *~*EmPaTh*~* because I don’t revel in it. I don’t want to pick up on peoples’ shit. I don’t want to concern myself so deeply with other peoples’ needs that I can’t detach from them. I don’t want other people to be such a source of anxiety for me. I don’t like that I can only bounce ideas and uncertainty off of those two people who I trust, because if I show my uncertainty to people who won’t handle that uncertainty with care -- people who are too opinionated, who see the world as being only one way, and who will try to force that way on me before I’ve made up my mind about how to feel about a thing -- my inner world will be completely messed up. It’s a thing I need to work on, to be able to distance myself from peoples’ needs and opinions without cutting myself off from humans entirely, but I’m not there yet, and in the meantime, people need to prove themselves to not be a huge resource suck for me before I can have them around. (I mean, literally my day job is to figure out other peoples’ shit and unblock things they’re blocked on and connect people to the resources that they need, and while I love my job, I cannot do that constantly in my non-work life.)

So, back to Crow. Right now, Crow and his wife are vetted. They are acceptable and I love them and I love hanging out with them. So if Crow and I were to part ways, if I wanted to be dating multiple people (besides M), I’d have to start all over again. It’s not like I have people in my circle who are sort of “next in line” for dating me. No one is even on my radar. The only poly people I know, I know through Crow, and I imagine that those ties would probably sever, probably organically over time. I know one other poly friend from work, and I really like him as a person, but I don’t think dating him would be a thing (even though both he and M are my top matches on OkCupid, hmm). So, if I wanted to date someone in addition to M, I’d have to... go to the internet? or go to an event? or in some way open myself up to a whole slew of people who haven’t been vetted and, in the vetting process, run the risk of depleting my time and energy which are now more limited than they were when I met Crow because of my job. Simply put, “getting back out there” just isn’t something I desire doing. I just don’t see myself dating someone besides M and Crow, realistically. If it was something I actively wanted, I would do it, I would make the time and the space. But it isn’t. Poly was never my thing. I only went to OkCupid and met Crow because I was retaliating. It wasn’t a decision I made with a clear head.

So okay, that leaves me with dating only M, which is fine in theory, because you can still “be poly” even if you’re only dating one person at the moment. Except for that I’ve never actually defined myself as “being poly”. It isn’t something I feel burning inside me, like how being queer once did, like how being a Gryffindor or a linguist or a feminist does now. And also, even if I weren’t dating anyone besides M, M would still be looking. He doesn’t get drained by people the way I do. He’s a different breed of introvert. He has a very innocent view of friendship, I think. He ships everything. He’s a Homestuck. He wants everyone to be cuddling all the time. He wants to bake a cake made out of rainbows and we’d all eat and be happy. He doesn’t concern himself with peoples’ needs the way that I do, so he is able to go out there and meet lots of people and get energized by the newness of it all and not get sapped by the potential downfall. So I’d be left in a situation that I never wanted to be in, in a trope that I see all too often in dude/lady poly dynamics that I never wanted to fall into: the guy is actively poly, and the girl isn’t.

I. Never. Want. To. Do. That.

Readers, no judgment at all if that defines your dynamic. If it works for you, totally fine. Indeed, if I wanted to only date M, and he wanted to date multiple people, and both he and I and anyone else involved were cool with that, that would be totally acceptable. That’s just not my situation. I’m not cool with that. I would actually rather go out there and meet random people on the Internet and start all over again than to fall into that trope. Because I never wanted poly to be something I did for him, to satisfy his needs at the expense of mine. I wanted to find something in it that was good for me beyond just making him happy. That was one of the first boundaries we had in place when we started: I wanted to start dating before he did. I wanted to have the experience of dating multiple people to see if I liked it. And we did that for a month or so, and then I gave the okay for him to date when I was really okay with it, and I didn’t feel pressured, it felt good.

But now I feel like I’m regressing. I feel like, if I lost Crow, I could very easily go back to mostly-monogamy, mostly because I just don’t like people enough to be poly. And because I never had crushes on my friends, and because I don’t feel the desire to cuddle everyone all the time, and because I draw pretty thick lines between friendship and romance, lines that don’t exist in M’s mind. I could do it, but I wouldn’t be able to, because M is poly through and through. And so right now I feel like I don’t have agency over my decisions. I’m not choosing the poly lifestyle. I wonder if I ever really did choose it. I think that maybe I gave myself the illusion of choice back then, when we started, and now I want to know that it’s okay for me to pull out if I no longer think that this is right for me, except I don’t think that it’s okay for me. I feel stuck. I’m happy with Crow right now. I can definitely envision a very clear scenario where I will no longer feel happy or comfortable with him, but we haven’t hit that yet, and right now, I’m happy with him, except for that I’m not happy that we don’t live in the same town, and so in order to see him we have to spend three hours commuting over a highway that is supposed to take 45 minutes to cross but now is under construction indefinitely because all the rain has caused mudslides and people keep dying on it so I actually don’t know when I’m going to be able to see him again, and I get so drained at work that I don’t want to spend my weekends (which are meant to be my moment to recharge so that I can go back to work and do it all over again) first sitting in traffic and then hanging out in his house that I don’t fully feel like I can relax in. It just doesn’t work. So I don’t know when I’ll get to see him again because I don’t know when they’ll get to fix the highway and there is actually no other way to get to town.

So my relationship with poly is hanging on my relationship with Crow.

And my relationship with Crow is hanging on a broken highway.

And my brain is broken and I feel sad.

[hell-and-pepsi]

what is a tagged can you eat it

I guess I was tagged by @ilwinsgarden ? That was a surprise, people don’t tag me in stuff too often, thank you very much!

Rules: Answer all the questions, then add one of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

1) Coke or Pepsi? I never drank coke in my life. I tried Pepsi once so I guess Pepsi.

2) Disney or Dreamworks? I’d say Dreamworks, especially since my brother is a huge fan of How to Train your Dragon

3) Coffee or Tea? Tea, in all forms and quantities - from a cheap-arse tea bag put in a bucket of hot water to exquisite brands prepared by the rules of the Chinese traditional tea ceremonies

4) Books or movies? First read the book, then watch the movie based on it. Never vice versa (except if the book is really crappy compared to the movie)

5) Windows or mac? Windows! Also doors. Illuminators. Ceiling lights. Ventilation vents. If you can punch a hole through a wall, that’s nice too.

6) D.C. or Marvel? Not a fan of either.

7) Xbox or PlayStation? Never had neither of them.

8) Dragon age or mass effect? I never played neither of them and I don’t even have friends that played any of these :(

9) Night owl or early riser? Early riser. If you can manage to, which doesn’t happen to often to me unfortunately.

10) Cards or chess? I can barely play any card games, I don’t even know the names of the card suits in Russian (but I know them perfectly in English because Homestuck.) So chess, even though I haven’t played chess either in a very long time.

11) Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate any time.

12) Vans or converse? I don’t care much for fashion so either is fine

13) Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? Low Sorbian? Volapük? Or are those not weird language names?

14) Fluff or angst? Both. Both is good. 

15) Beach or forest? Um. Have you looked at my username. Well, I guess you should just look at it again

16) Dogs or cats? Cats! Especially my cat, Sebastian. Though dogs are cool as well.

17) Clear skies or rain? Clear sky! I am basically a reverse vampire, I can’t live without a blue sky and a bright sun up above. Also, stars at night *_*

18) Cooking or eating out? I’m broke, so cooking.

19) Spicy or mild food? I like spicy. But honestly, it all depends on the ability of the cook. Mild food can be very tasty too if done right.

20) Halloween/Samhain or solstice/yule/Christmas? @ilwinsgarden while answering this question said that they don’t celebrate Hallowe’en in Czech Republic and I relate - we don’t celebrate it in Russia as well save for the occasional shop sell. 

But here we go even more extreme - we don’t celebrate Christmas either! In the Soviet times the main winter celebration shifted to New Year’s Eve, and that’s what we celebrate mainly up to this day. Christmas is a religious holiday solely, and moreover, because Russia is mainly an Orthodox Christian country and not a Prothestantic/Catholic/Anglican one, we celebrate Christmas two weeks later than Catholics (January the 7th).

Actually, even putting cultural differences aside, I don’t like the themes of both holidays. The modern media has generalized and cheapened them so that Hallowe’en is merely pumpkin spice and costumes instead of being a spiritual day, and Christmas is merely presents and trees instead of an important Christian milestone. I guess I enjoy Christmas a little bit more.

21) Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? Uhhh, that’s a tough one! But I am actually often a little too cold (including today), so if I choose a little too hot perhaps it can cancel it out? :D

22) If you could have a superpower what would it be? There are so many choices! Super intellengence would be helpful. Teleportation would allow me to travel anywhere in the world for free. If I could create plant life or accelerate its speed of growth, I could end famine.

23) Animation or live action? Both have their perks. Currently I’m more invested in animation, but I would really like to explore live action movies and even create ones myself.

24) Paragon or renegade? Okay, so I learnt a new English word today! Paragon, huh. And as much as I love the sound of that word I choose renegade. I’m a rebel by nature.

25) Bath or shower? Showers are cooler and more eco-friendly, but when you’re tired all you want is a nice hot bath. So both once again, depending on your state.

26) Team Cap or team Ironman? Like I said above, I’m not a fan of Marvel.

27) Fantasy or sci-fi? Don’t make me choose like this! But when I was younger I definitely enjoyed sci-fi more, and I know there’s still a lot of classic authors for me to explore.

28) Do you have 3 or 4 favorite quotes if so what are they? Oh boy, you came for a treat. “Fears are caused by a lack of understanding. And in the world we live in, you have unlimited information out there. There’s no reason you should be afraid of anything”  - Ethoslab, my most favourite Youtuber and Minecrafter ever. I don’t remember the exact episode, but I believe it was in his Let’s Play series around 390-410 ish, when he was building Sandy City.

“I mean, I know you want it to stay pleasant around here, but — there are so many things … that are so much better. Like silly, or sexy, or dangerous … or brave. And every one of those things is in you all the time, if you just have the guts to look for them.”  - Bud Parker, from the movie Pleasantville. Go watch it. It’s a true piece of art. I watched it in my English class in detail and it was absolutely delightful and amazing and so, so true.

“I never let school interfere with my education.”  - (incorrect, I think) Mark Twain. Sums my feeling about school perfectly.

“Every moment is the moment, and everything you lose, you lose forever.”  - my teacher. He told us once to remember this saying very carefully, even if we don’t understand it fully, because there may come a time where it will be very, very true for us. It is one of those quotes that you do not memorize, but which memorizes you instead.

29) YouTube or Netflix? I don’t have a Netflix account and I don’t even know whether the site is available in my country. But I spend endless hours on Youtube.

30) Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? Look at my nickname and my avatar yet again... plus I never quite got into Percy Jackson. I think I only read one book. Its fans make cool fanart though, with many different ships.

31) When do you feel accomplished? When I do something that’s supposed to be “in my field” and I do excellent on it. Also, contrariwise, when I have to go through something I’m scared or unexperienced to do and perform well.

32) Star Wars or Star Trek? Okay, please don’t kill me for this, but I never watched a Star Wars movie in my life. I also didn’t watch Star Trek, but I relate to it a little bit more because I’m a fan of Doctor Who which is a show from the same time. Plus Star Trek is responsible for a lot of modern sci-fi tropes, its fans started the modern fanfiction culture (including the concept of shipping), and it’s a historical and innovative piece in general.

33) Paperback books or hardcover books? I don’t have a strong opinion of this, and I read books online mostly nowadays. In my experience, different kinds of books are more prone to being in a hardcover or in paperback. Both of those types can be very enjoyable.

34) Fantastic beasts or Cursed child? Seen/read neither. (I feel so ignorant while answering those... haven’t seen that, haven’t read that...) But from what I saw and heard, especially from my little brother, Cursed Child is a hectic fanfiction piece somehow gone canon (and Rowling had barely to do with it anyway) and Fantastic Beasts is, well, a fantastic piece of work. Also Americans got their own Potter movie. (like A Very Potter musical wasn’t enough)

35) Rock or pop music? My music taste is dictated by artist, not style. That being said, nowadays I have more favourites in pop than rock.

36) What is the most important thing in your life? Keeping close to my principles/morals. Expressing those principles and morals in one way or another, because I find it something important to show to other people. Trying to help the people I call my friends. Trying to make sense in this big mess of things we call the world.

37) Mountains or sea/ocean? Tough question again! But I guess I’ve been to the sea like, thrice in my life, and never been to the mountains, so sea/ocean.

38) How do you express yourself? Mostly in words and sometimes in action. But my ultimate goal is to create content through which I could successfully express my view of the world.

39) What’s the first book/film that really counted to you? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. When I was little I never cried at books at movies. But there was something in chapter 34 (where Harry has learn the truth about himself and goes to the Forbidden Forest to be killed by Voldemort) that made me shed my very first tear. The name of the chapter was The Forest Again, so, well, you can see how big of an impact it was for me.

40) What’s your element (air, water, etc.)? I want to be the Avatar! :D But seriously, I can’t really choose. By my star sign, Leo, it’s fire.

41) If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Is “everywhere” an option?

42) If you had any job in the world, what would it be? A teacher in a school that is actually a good school. Not that those exist. Or a cartoon/anime/movie director/screenwriter.

43) If you were granted three wishes, what would they be? I guess all unlimited wishes hacks are banned, so:

1) World piece 2) Unlimited food to end world famine 3) Unlimited eco-friendly power source to end (most of) the world’s ecological problems.

44) If you had to eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Pizza! Because you can put anything on a pizza.

45) What’s currently the most pressing issue on your mind, and what’s stopping you from fixing it? Is “everything” an option” [2]? But seriously, it’s probably my unpreparement for the uncoming exams and the search for my future career. The first one is caused by just lazyness and the boringness/objective unimportance of the exams, and the second time always takes time, naturally. So they are pressing, but at the same time I don’t worry too much at “failing” them.

46) What is your dream companion animal? A cat! Or a cool bird, like a jay or an oreole.

47) Raptors or songbirds? Raptor songbirds. Just imagine.

48) Do you think there is life on other planets in universe? “Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. “ Arthur C. Clarke sums my opinion on this pretty welI

Woah, that’s a lot of questions! It also took me a lot of time to answer them, it’s super late for me now. Here’s my question:

49: If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, what would be some of the things that you do?

And I can’t possibly tag 49 people, so here’s just some: @polyglotplatypus, @kuufox, @artisticprotector, @cultureklub, @crap-iccioso,  @glannniglaepur, @stefan-stefansson, @moonpaw17, @klavierr, @antialiasis, @johannesviii and basically anyone else who wants to do this. And if you don’t want to do it, of course you’re not obliged in any way. @ilwinsgarden thank you so much for tagging me once again!

[synodicatalyst]

reading a post about asian ethnotypes and stereotypes and

(excerpt from this post)

hate to relate everything to homestuck but there are clear stereotypes leading to the popularity of a particular trend within homestuck ethnicity headcanoning: AKA poc prospits vs white derses. and, by extension, asian prospits vs. nonasian derses.

the reinforcement of stereotyping is so unabashedly blatant that it pains me to think about and try and explain this in terms that are understandable; but i’ll try my best to properly communicate my thoughts on the issue.

prospit is less popular than derse. not gonna lie, i’m a derse kid fan myself. prospit is less popular for many reasons (development is just plain better for the derse kids, most of the prospits except john get largely ignored/ character arcs aren’t completed well at all, people find that the derse kids are more relatable due to their less obviously bright personalities, etc. note that this is swapped for the trolls.) and for some strange, twisted reason, this makes people want to shove their poc headcanons on to the prospits. Well, not necessarily prospit is less popular therefore they have more poc headcanons, but:

there is a clear link between the “prospits are more likely to be HCed as people of colour” fact and the “prospit kids are generally less popular than derse kids”. you can argue that it’s because people prefer the whole prerequisite for derse, but that isn’t solely the case. People like to project their fantasies onto the characters they like; ergo, they like to envision their favourite perfect white model Striders and Lalondes, because it’s something they want to see in the characters that they view as superior. I was the same, when i first got into homestuck: i was all for imagining jade and john as fun quirky chinese kids versus dave and rose, pale as the moon and perfect in every way. because, despite how much i love all the kids, i related to dave and rose more, especially, and i was eager to project my fantasies in the same way.

while the most popular depiction of all the kids is skinny and white, this is the case even more so for derse. i’ve seen my fair share of POC headcanons for the strilondes; plenty of black and hispanic headcanons for them but the fact remains that they are still generally the vast minority in comparison to the majority of “perfect” looking white daves, dirks, roses and roxys. whereas if people want to make their art look more “diverse”, what’s their first thought? change jade’s skintone a little darker, by a shade or two, cause she lived on an island. jake too. dark hair? prospit thing, so they’re “more suited” to being depicted as POC. the weird-ass general image of all the prospits being glasses-wearing nerds? obviously the derse kids aren’t so they’re white, and if anyone’s gotta be POC, then its gonna be the Prospits. imperfect prospits, with their buckteeth and glasses.

(ignoring the fact that all the kids are nerds.)

yknow what?

this is bullshit.

people seem to forget that hair dye is a thing, that the art style of homestuck is vastly interpretive, that the #FFFFFF of their skin is merely for artistic ease because hey guess what? all the kids are aracial.

now, onto the asian thing.

the fact that asian headcanons, if they exist at all, consist largely of japanese and korean ones. i have absolutely nothing against this, because they’re few and far between as it is, but you’re forgetting that the rise in popularity of japanese and koreans is due to the influence of pop culture; namely, anime and k-pop. both of which have western fanbases that can be incredibly harmful upon the livelihood of their respective root countries, and the increasing rate at which fetishising “cute japanese schoolgirls” and “hot korean boys” etc. becomes more and more common. fetishising east asians is not a compliment. it’s on the same level as fujoshi culture normalising the fetishisation of m/m relationships. it’s harmful and uncomfortable for all involved.

as a (mainly) han chinese teenager, all i can tell you is this: as a child, I sometimes wished that i could be korean, maybe. or japanese. because if i couldn’t be white, then it’d be nice to have been viewed as part of the group of “perfect asians” - the skinny, pale, beautiful japanese / korean models that apparently represent asia for the rest of the world. obviously, there are many, many problems with this mindset- the world’s view on asian people had forced me into thinking that i wasn’t good enough if i wasn’t exactly how they saw asian people should be. representation matters, in that it’s comforting to find characters just like you, that have the same or similar cultural experiences to you, being showcased throughout fandom and media content. i cannot emphasise this enough.

the fandom has an abhorrent habit of ignoring the rest of asia which, in case you didn’t get the memo, contains over 60% of the world’s entire population. that’s right. and within that 60% contains a plethora of different cultures, languages and racial groups (within China alone there are 56 different ones.)

so, where are my malaysian lalondes? my chinese-indonesian striders? pakistani rose? tibetan roxy? kazakh dave? there are literal hundreds upon thousands of different separate groups i could name all of which don’t necessarily include the main ethnic groups within japan and korea.

*i’m not trying to bash on korean or japanese people. i know that as a chinese person i already have a highly significant vantage point over even the more commonly acknowledged south asian groups ie. thailand, indonesia, cambodia, india, malaysia, etc. but, the effect of the popularity of weeaboo/otaku/koreaboo culture has gone too far and it’s become sickening.

*i’m also not trying to make people who already have nonasian POC headcanons for the kids feel bad. i appreciate everything you’re doing; this is just me trying to remind the world that asia exists.

basically, if you realise you’re making fancontent that follows this trend of either:

- all white kids, or one slightly-darker-skinned-jade-amongst-a-sea-of-pale-faces

- POC prospits vs white derse kids

maybe, just maybe you could think about researching and including asian derse kids in your headcanons. I know that a lot of people like to see themselves in these characters (myself included) and i understand that. At the end of the day, i can’t change anything about what anyone’s doing and i certainly don’t want to pressure people into thinking that they’re doing everything wrong.

my sole objective is to maybe let people at least consider thinking over what their accepted headcanons are, and perhaps push towards a change that will mean that i don’t feel quite as alone as i do creating south-east asian strider-lalonde content.

in conclusion: the white derse vs nonwhite prospit dichotomy is bad and needs to be stopped. and also asia is a very large continent with over 4 billion people on it and many, many ethnic groups.

[blaperile]

Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 5: Hallway to attic + Retrieving flashlight!

Day 5 of playing Hiveswap!

Last time we just finished examining the hallway just outside Joey's room and were planning on moving on, let's see what exciting new places we find today! I wonder if we're going to find some more interesting tidbits about what happened to Ms. Claire, and more information about Grandpa and Mom! Also maybe something about who Jude's mother is (seeing as I assume Ms. Claire died before he was born).

Starting at 7:20 PM now.

Heh, is it just me or did the animation of the jewelery chest opening play again when our game loaded?

Let's first try going to the attic, because we know we can't advance there yet prior to having the flashlight.

Oooh, that's a prety small hallway! A big difference from the two previous rooms, hehe.

I like that we can now see the crutches and those other things from a different perspective. I wonder what will happen if we try examining it.

Also, there's a light switch button there, but looks like we can't switch this one off, unlike the one in Joey's room, hehe.

Aha, so that's what that mess is! Just a bunch of stuff that needs to be moved to the attic but hasn't ben moved yet.

Oh dear... we can befriend the caterpillar doll? Do I even want to know what that does. 0_0

Ah, so it's a doll related to her veteriniarian interests! Makes sense. But yeah, there's not much practicing you can do on a plush toy like that. :P

Okay, "befriending" it doesn't do much special, other than walking us over to it, hehe.

Cherub Key && Caterpillar doll ==> Ahahaha, yeah this isn't a doll appropriate for storing an item in it (though the Puppy Surprise is creepy enough to be holding items too :o ).

Pffff, both the caterpillar AND the slinky are sitting comfortably in a pretty awkward position and not moving anywhere, haha.

Cherub Key && slinky ==> Oh??? That's pretty weird. Does the key attract metal for some reason? Hmmm... mysterious.

What the frick are all those things at the top of the stairs? What's that weird giant pillar thingy in the corner? And what's with that white doll with the green and red eye? I find that pretty suspicious, considering what the pairing of red and green means in Homestuck and Hiveswap...

It also kind of reminds me of that very early concept art of a First Guardian-like axolotl that I haven't thought about in ages. Does it have anything to do with that, for some reason?

And what's that pink thing? Is that another Puppy Surprise? 0_0

Also, looks like there's some old cleaning material there. Someone probably made the noble intention at some point to clean there, and then decided not to or forgot about it. :P

...Maybe Mom did that. Considering her odd cleaning behaviour in Homestuck, that wouldn't surprise me, haha.

Ha, okay. The description for that pile of junk is exactly the same as for the junk downstairs.

So, I bet we're probably not capable of entering the attic door yet, as long as we don't have the flashlight. Let's see...

Huh, so Grandpa spends a lot of time up here (when he's home), tending to his artifacts. I guess it's kind of like the attic in Jade's home, keeping his most valuable and weird possessions up there?

The question is where he got the mysterious portal from that Joey will be using to go to Alternia though. Did he find it on his travels somewhere?

That thing just brings up so many questions to my mind. I mean, Dammek's probably got a similar portal in his hive, and where did he get it from? Is it the same portal, brought to Earth by The Condesce centuries later? And did The Condesce then make sure it ended up with Grandpa for Joey to use?

Is it all part of some grand scheme of Doc Scratch and Lord English? If so, why? What big importance would it have for Joey to go to Alternia and for Dammek to go to Earth?

This is all clearly taking place after the Summoner's rebellion, which was, as far as we know, the last event in Alternia's history to have a major impact on the rest of its timeline, so what other important thing could Joey's presence on Alternia possibly influence?

Same thing with Dammek, there's not really anything important that needs to happen on Earth before Sburb takes place, right? Skaianet is already founded, and Grandpa will soon find the technology in the Frog Temple to start developing Sburb, so I'm not sure what importance Dammek could play on Earth.

That's all some really big questions, and I'm curious to see if we'll find answers to them in this game!

Oh jeez I kind of went on a tangent, didn't I? xD

Let's get back to the situation at hand.

Okay, so the attic door is locked. Which means we'll have to find a key somewhere! God what is it with all the keys in this house. :mspa:

Uh oh, we're peering through the keyhole.

OOOOOOOOOH, it's this little sequence that we've seen in trailers! With some mysterious music to accompany it. Our first glance at the mysterious portal!

But... what I find really curious is Joey's reaction! It looks like she doesn't recognize the portal! What's up with that?? Has she never been up there before? Or is the portal a recent addition to the attic (but like plainWonder says, that would be weird seeing as the Cherub Key has been here for years).

Also, how the fuck did this giant portal get up in the attic?!

Wait... this is Grandpa we're talking about, the person who also got a giant spaceship into the Medium and who is an alternate version of Jake who had a Fetch Modus that allowed him to captchalogue humongous things. Nevermind. xD

Oh boy, Joey's talking to Jude again! I guess she'll probably ask him if he knows where the key is. But I wonder if she's also going to ask something about what that thing is in there? And more interestingly, if Jude knows something more about it?

Haha, so Jude knew the attic door was locked. I love Joey's deadpan comment about it.

Oooooooooooooooh, nice! So there's some specific dialog of Jude because we don't have the flashlight yet! Hahaha, so he'll only tell us where the key is after we retrieve the flashlight.

The question is though, is it technically possible to already find the key and enter the attic (and by extension the Cherub portal) before we even retrieve the flashlight?

I wonder if it's perhaps in the basement? That would be the perfect excuse to have us go all the way through the entire house, haha.

....Or wait, maybe the key is in the tree hut! And then Jude could send the key to Joey with that pidgeon we've seen in trailers and concept art! I could see that happening too.

Cherub Key && Attic Door => WELP. We quickly closed that narration because it looks like we weren't supposed to read that yet, 'cause it gave away something about the location of the attic key. :(

Alright, let's try to forget that and move on.

Moving back to the previous hallway (again that animation of the jewelery box opening. Maybe the hallway really is spooky and the jewelery chest is haunted! :mspa:).

And now, moving to the T-junction and see what's there!

Ooooooh, we're looking at the hallway from a different perspective! It gives a different view at the statue and the Sufferer doll, plus some new things! Apparently Jude's room was right there, very close to Joey's, haha.

But... that Lord English castle though. Grandpa/Jake, why do you always need to have this stuff that so creepily resembles Lord English things. 0_0

I like that you can see more of those monsters flying through that window outside.

And oh hey, there are the stairs to go down, along with the infamous family portraits we've seen a lot of teases of!

I wonder if we can enter Jude's room and/or the door next to it? It could be that we can't go into certain rooms of their house, like the bathroom. Seeing as the bathroom always seems to be a room we can't enter in the homes of Homestuck, while we can only enter them in the homes of Homestuck boys.

Well, I guess both a boy and a girl live here, but seeing as Joey's the main character I'm betting we can't enter the bathroom. :mspa:

Other than that, oh god, plainWonder has a point! There are a few pink turtle figures there, as a reference to the Turtle consorts in Homestuck! Plus they also seem to be some sort of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, hahahahaha.

...

I wonder if it's a coincidence that such a turtle figure is lying down just outside the Lord English castle, what with how Caliborn once killed a Turtle consort in Homestuck. :P

I find it interesting how there seems to be a crown on top of Lord English's head, even though he's never been depicted with a crown before. Though I guess he IS a lord, haha.

Oh man plainWonder just made an amazing remark: it seems like the two pillars on this castle were first coloured in gold, but it largely wore off on one of the sides, so that there's only one truely gold coloured pillar left. Just like Lord English's golden tooth.

And what's with that box with colourful... pins? For a second I thought they were just the B1 Kid colours, but it seems like there's more colours there, haha.

Finally, that dragon painting between the two doors. It looks awfully familiar to me? Could it be that something like that appeared in The Inaugural Death of Mister Seven? Or am I thinking of something else here...

Huh, strangely we've now got TWO options when examining the statue! On the other side of the hallway we had only one option. Now we can also "use", but apparently that just triggers another comment about how Joey doesn't like using the darts as ammo seeing as she doesn't like guns, hehe.

Pfffff, welp. We can't even examine the Lord English castle. I was actually hoping she'd give a funny remark about that, haha.

Let's examine the weird dragon painting.

So okay, according to plainWonder we've seen it before in concept art and there were some theories about a hidden meaning to it? I don't remember that.

But in any case, he does have a point that the lowest one looks a little bit like an axolotl, and that the right one kind of looks like it has antlers!

Also, the left one kind of looks like it has a Lord English-like scarf plus green wings? The plot thickens. :P

...Huh. It's kind of weird that Joey specifically remarks the eye of the lowest dragon as seemingly following her. To me, it looks like the eyes of the upper two dragons also seem to be staring in the same direction.

Does it have a symbolic meaning?

Or... maybe Jude's room is right behind this painting and it turns out that Jude carved a hole in the wall so he could remove that eye and peek through it to keep an eye on the hallway for suspicious things, and whenever Joey feels like that eye is following her it's actually just Jude looking through it. xD

Huh, when we zoomed back out on the rest of the room, those colorful pins seemed to flicker for a second? I wonder what their deal is?

Also, that closet to the left of the door seems to have a kind of weird S-like shape, haha.

And uh, what's with that shark figure and skull onthat shelf? Especially, what's with that eyepatch on the skull. xD

I'm suddenly thinking of all those one-eyed people in Homestuck. Though I believe Vriska's the only one to have ever worn an eyepatch? I doubt this is supposed to be a reference to any of them. :mspa:

plainWonder's got a good point that this door, right next to Jude's room, might be the hall closet where Joey's flashlight is! So let's wait a bit before we examine that and let's first examine everything else we can before opening it (also, I bet we probably can't go downstairs before we retrieve the flashlight?).

A... lite brite? I've literally never heard about that before. But it [url="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lite-Brite"]IS real[/url] and looks like something fun!

OOOOOOOOOOH, by using the "Lite" option we can let Joey make her symbol on the lite brite! I wonder if we try it again if she can also make some other symbols?

Also, cue "you waste exactly four minutes on this tomfoolery". :mspa:

Pressing Lite again, she makes a Tesseract symbol!!! :O I love how it's exactly like the Bec symbol we all know, except with eyes and a mouth, haha. That's so cool. I wonder if she'll also make Jude's symbol and Mom's symbol? :O

N'AWWWWWWWW, she made herself, Jude and Tesseract. That is incredibly cute.

Also, I should mention that I really like how you can slowly see the board change as she makes a new design, and how the pins on the floor also change when she makes a new design.

Ahahaha, next up is the Cherub spiral symbol! She obviously made it because of the pattern on her key, but I can't help but feel nervous with that Lord English castle right there. :P

Also, this just helped me to notice that that Lord English castle doesn't have any red cheeks.

Okay, looks like that's all for the patterns on this lite brite!

Cherub Key && Lite Brite ==> HMMMMMMMMM, that's really mysterious. I find it strange that she "knows" she's seen it before, but can't exactly say when it has happened. Could it have been in her dreams? Like, has she been having some mysterious dreams (no, I'm not necessarily suggesting she's a Sburb player just yet :P). Also, her "in your mind's eye" immediately made me think of Terezi.

JOEY CONFIRMED FOR HERO OF MIND. :mspa:

Tap shoes && Lite Brite ==> PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF, I love how it suddenly seems to be turning into a running gag that if Joey tapdances she'd fall off stairs, just like it already was in the stairway to the attic.

Huh, interestingly the only thing we can examine in the left corner of the hallway is the cabinet! I actually thought it would have been those other items, haha.

Are we going to look at the contents of this cabinet?

Ahahaha, okay no, we're just examining the lamp on top of it. Never mind what I said. :mspa:

Cherub Key && Lamp cabinet ==> Pffff, so now Joey's trying out the Cherub Key on this. Yes Joey, I highly doubt it fits there. xD

plainWonder does have a good point that this seems to suggest those drawers on the cabinet are locked. HMMMMMM :p

Alright, let's examine Jude's door now!

Oh, we're zooming in on the door, and the Lord English castle is still in good view! Can we NOW click on that castle? :O

...Nope, we cant'. xD

Looking at his door more closely, my eye is mostly drawn to that drawing of a black ball with wings and sharp teeth. Other than the red eyes and legs, doesn't this look suspiciously like the monsters flying around outside? I wonder if that's a coincidence or not.

Oh??? The narration is really interesting here. Jude's got a pet in there!!! My first thought was a hamster, to go with the hamster tube that seems to be exiting his room, but I find it weird that it's an animal Joey DOESN'T wants to deal with! Which is pretty remarkable, seeing as she likes animals so much!

Whatever it is, I assume it can get around with that hamster tube? So that would mean it's at least something relatively small.

Looks like the identity of this pet and the contents of Jude's room will remain a mystery for now. Perhaps until Hauntswitch?

Joey's mention of traps in Jude's room reminds me of John and Nanna's habits of putting buckets on top of the door to fall on whoever opens the door, and also of course Bro's traps for Dave in their appartment.

And there's another mention of Joey wanting to avoid an encounter with Jude's pet. Mysterious. :o

Tap shoes && Jude's door ==> So, Joey especially wants to avoid setting off the pet by tapping! Sounds like it's a pet that could be a real nuisance or even dangerous if it gets upset...

Haha, alright! We can't go downstairs without our flashlight, like I thought. I like how there's a mention about how we've already been to the attic.

Well then, let's see what's behind that door which is presumably the hallway closet (I mean, it's not like there are anymore options :P)

Okay, so it is indeed the hallway closet.

Huh, apparently it contains old belongings of Joey? I wonder what else is in there, other than the flashlight (if anything special)?

Oooooooooh, looks like the ballet shoes are in there! I kinda forgot we hadn't retrieved those yet, makes sense that they're in there! Along with some other old stuff and some clothes, it seems.

Ahhhhh, apparently we need to use our tap shoes to make that box fall! Finally we can use our tapping skills to actually make something fall, haha. xD

Also, who even put that box up there?

Tap shoes && Box ==> Ooooh, cool animation as the box falls down! So, looks like there's only 3 things in there: the flashlight, the ballet shoes, and... a bag of chips? Why is that in there? Or does it perhaps have something inside (other than chips) that is of importance to her?

HOLY MOTHER OF BATMAN we suddenly gain a lot of new items: the ballet shoes, the flashlight (without batteries GOD DANG IT so that's why I remember seeing more batteries in the concept art, haha), a bag of pet treats (oh man... are we going to use that to get Tesseract out of the dog house), and also a bunch of flippos!

Goddang that is a preposterous amount of new items and also new combinations on all the items in the rooms we've visited so far!

New conversation with Jude incoming! He's probably going to mention the location of the attic key, and maybe he'll also have an idea where we can find more batteries (my bet right now is that we'll have to take batteries out of that radio we've seen in concept art).

Pfff, so much is going on and Jude is concerned about his pogs being kept safe. xD

Kind of reminds me of the Pokémon anime where James has a ridiculous concern for keeping his crown corks safe.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Jude's formal way of speaking and talking in upper caps reminds me a bit of WV's manner of talking to John, haha!

Huh, so Jude wants Joey to head over to "the trophy room". Probably a room similar to the Grand Foyer in Jade's room, with all those trophies he had on the wall?

Alright, we're calling it a day here, at 9:35 PM.

Tomorrow, the first thing we'll do is start examining all the combinations of the pet treats, pogs, ballet shoes and powerless flashlight on the items we have encountered so far! That'll probably take up enough of our playtime tomorrow, haha.