#cause I know at least a few of the want an apartment ppl is so it can be just them and a partner

[cyreneduvent]

I don’t remember if I’ve posted this on here before, but the sentence “of course you’re lonely, it’s 2am” has genuinely done good for my mental health. Like no, it’s not that I’m doomed or that everyone hates me, it’s just that I’m tired and everyone’s been asleep for a couple hours

[quokkaholic]

The Triangle From Hell h.j

Synopsis: I’m watching Yakuza Fiance (get into it) rn. I just saw ep.3 aand…I was inspired

Warnings: MDNI, smut with a sprinkle of plot, Oral(both), not great ppl, FWB, talk of delinquency, alcohol consumption, cussing duh. Han referred to as Ji. Sub!Han if you squint. Lightly edited

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You’ve known Jisung since middle school, and have been hooking up since High School; that was years ago now. You both ran in the same circles due to being… not the best kids. Skipping class, smoking, sex, drinking, all very classic dirtbag teen behaviors. You clicked after being introduced by some mutual friends and have been steady friends with on and off benefits for quite some time. That being said, it has been a while since you’ve heard him, that was, until today.

“Hey y/n-innie <3”

Is the text you receive from Han in the middle of a random Saturday. While reading the message, he sends another,

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot…”

“Are you free?” Finally a pause for you to respond,

“Right now, but I have plans with some friends later,” an instant later he messages,

“Why wasn’t I invited?”

“I’ll be there in 10!”

Only ten minutes. Jisung must be calling a car instead of taking the train. He really is desperate.

“The door is open,” is all your response says. You were lounging in only a big tee on the couch munching on snacks while catching up on some shows before he called. You guess there's no real reason to get dressed before he arrives; you resume your binge session. Unfortunately before the episode ends the door to your apartment swings open. There he is. He has simple grey sweats, zip up hoodie and a baseball cap. You’ve known him for so long, but, somehow, it seems he gets sexier every time you see him. Even in such a simple outfit, one look at him gets your heart pumping harder. He takes off his shoes and simply grabs your wrist to lead you to your own bedroom. Han immediately sits on the edge of your bed and removes his hat before leaning back onto his hands to allow his gaze to roam all over you. A habit that used to make you embarrassed, but now, you relish the feeling of Jisung eyeing you up. You know he's thinking about what he wants to do to you.

“You always look so damn good y/n.” he half groans, letting his head fall to the side. You walk to him and straddle his legs and slot yourself in his lap resting on the edge of the bed. He immediately catches your lips in a hungry kiss, his hands find themselves on your ass squeezing and kneading further conveying his hunger for you. His talented hands roam up your sides as he begins his attack on your neck and shoulder. He always leaves you at least a little mark when you sleep together. Ji removes his hands to cup your breasts from outside of your shirt and bring them to his mouth. He kisses all over each one before ever touching your nipples. Han’s eyes look up into yours right before he envelopes one of your nipples into his mouth causing you to gasp. He knows exactly how you like it; he teases lightly with his tongue being conscious of not getting your shirt too wet. When he feels your hips start to move against his, he knows you're ready for him, but while he is eager for his release, he has bigger plans. He slowly falls all the way back on the bed and places his hands on the backs of your thighs guiding them up to either side of his head. Before settling onto his lips, you remove one leg from your panties. Getting a bit impatient, Jisung reaches up to grab you at the waist and pull you down onto his tongue.

Both of you moan at the same time as he gets a taste of you, his mouth is unmatched and you taste better than he dreamed. He flattens his tongue and licks long strips up your folds before turning to give your thighs a few wet kisses followed by a bite that is just hard enough to send a little shock of pain before kissing the indentions his teeth left behind. He returns his attention to your cunt by gently licking on either side of your bud. He can't help but take his time making you squirm above him. Tired of the torment, you grab a handful of his luscious dark hair and try to hold him still over your clit. Jisung loves to tease, but he also takes direction so well. He transitions from soft and quick licks to taking your clit into his mouth. Keeping is warm and soaked as he glides his skillful tongue over it.

There is no holding back now. From the erotic sounds of Han devouring you to the little satisfied noises coming from him as he has front row seat to you coming undone. You feel your release building inside your stomach. You decide to help Han and yourself by rocking a bit on him, his smile and groan against your pussy is what sends you hurling over the edge of pleasure. It is so powerful you have to lean forward so now you are on all fours above him. He sees the opportunity and takes it, rolling you onto your back, but he remains between your legs softly licking up the mess he made guiding you down from your high. 

“Ji, you’re always so good for me. It’s been so long; you seeing someone or something?”

You question half joking, your head still dizzy from the prolonged pleasure Han is drawing from you. As soon as the question passes your lips, Han’s head shoots up to look at you from between your thighs.

“There is someone actually! This last time I was overseas, I realized I am really into her!” He confesses with a massive grin, like he was just dying to share. 

“Jisung! Why are you talking about other women when you're in bed with me?”

You say as you use your feet on his chest to push him back onto his knees. 

“Who is she? Do I know her?” your questioning persists.

“I don’t know,” Jisung says as he shrugs, acting shy now.

“Bull shit! You’re not serious with her though, right?’

“Yeah we aren’t serious, don't worry.” He says defending his actions. 

“Now can we please…” he doesn’t finish the question but looks down at the tent in his pants.

“No Han, we can’t! If you have feelings for a woman, you shouldn’t be fucking someone else!” you scold him admittedly disappointed that you can’t have him inside you.

“We don’t do that shit anymore,” you remind him. 

“Ughh, fine! I’ll call her later and figure it out. Just suck on it at least; you gotta help me out!” He bargains.

“Promise?” You ask, Ji learned over the years not to break his promises to you.

“Yes! Yes, I promise y/n. Just please…please make me feel good,” he pleads.

His begging for your mouth sends a wave of euphoria through you. You can’t deny him and crawl off the bed pulling a pillow with you for your knees. Han excitedly scoots back to the edge of the bed and tugs down his bottoms. No underwear. What a whore? You think to yourself, causing a breathy giggle to escape. On your knees you’re eye level with cock twitching in his lap. You understand why he was so desperate; it's so hard it almost looks painful standing up against his stomach, the familiar lean you love to mock him about but secretly think is so cute. When you grab him at the base, he lets out the slightest whimper you wouldn’t even hear if you didn’t know to listen for it. Similar to how he started on you, you lick from the top of your hand to his tip looking up at him when you reach it only to find Han with his lips pressed together and eyes scrunched shut. With this new revelation about his romantic interests, you are not in the mood to worship him till he loses his mind, and decide to get right to work. Taking as much of him as you can into your mouth to spread the wetness along his length causes Ji to release almost a growl from his throat. 

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last y/nn” he whispers trying to avoid getting too loud too soon, and he doesn’t. His desperation mixed with your skill at knowing exactly what he needs has him curling his toes and mumbling out your name mixed with curses in minutes. You did not take your time as you found a rhythm pumping what you can of him into your mouth and working the rest with your hand. His profanity ceases for a moment and you feel Jisung move his hand toward your head. You brace yourself for him to fist your hair, but instead you feel a light tap on your head, a signal he has always used to let you know what was about to happen. Instead of taking his hand back, Han shakily runs his fingers through the hair on the side of your head before dragging them down to rest on your neck with his thumb on your cheek prompting you to once again glance up into his eyes.

“You’re so pretty,” Han whines as his eyes roll back followed by his head, stealing his hand back to steady himself as he leans back and lets the pleasure rack through him. He remains there for a while to let the pleasure subside, and you are already rising off the floor and replacing the pillow on the bed before finding a new pair of panties and removing your shirt to start getting ready for your evening with the girls.

“You kicking me out already?” Ji asks, still hazy eyed and sweats still around his ankles. 

“Yep! I told you I was busy tonight, so get out. Plus, I don’t cuddle with boys in relationships” you inform him.

“I’m not taken, and what we just did was way worse than cuddling, Baby.” He jokes back. Just like that, your sassy longest friend is back. He rolls up to sit. Once re-dressed, he comes over to you and opens his arms for a hug, but you fein coldness and turn away. It doesn’t deter Han; he wraps his arms around your waist from behind and plants a chaste kiss to your cheek.

“Text me when you make it home safe tonight, okay?” He requests. Always so caring, despite being a real shithead sometimes. 

“Yeah,” is all you say in response trying to remain focused on trying to pick out your outfit, you can’t exactly put your finger on it, but saying bye hurts a little more this time than it usually does. He releases his hold on you and sees himself out quietly.

The sting of feeling used by Ji quickly subsides with a good playlist and a pregame drink or two. A night out with your friends is just what you need. Nothing heals the soul quite like getting shit faced and dancing the night away. When your ride drops you off at home, it's already the early hours of the next morning. You have enough sense to remove your makeup and change into your pajamas. You lay in bed and send a text in your group chat that you are home safe first and then a separate one to Jisung before closing your eyes to finally sleep. Just as you being to drift off, your phone rings.

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A.n- Thank you to everyone who reads <3 I've been on and off tumblr for like at least 10 years now, and I still don't know how to make one of those little banner image things (idek the name of it) ppl will put before and after the fic. Will work on that.

-mo

Masterlist

[morggard]

i found you get this a lot but i still wanted to ask specifically one of your characters (+ a few of your illustrations) really resembles till lindemann, is he any inspiration or just coincidence?

I want to add, your work is infatuating I'd be shocked if you say you do this just as a hobby. Your work looks that as of a professional editorial artist. I love it, just found you yesterday immediately became an inspiration to me.

Hello, thanks for the question!

I'm not really sure, which character did you have in mind, but I gonna take a wild guess and assume it was one of these two, since they get compared to Till quite a lot, and talk a little about their design:

So my first guess, Kaíl was created in 2018 and the inspiration behind his design was actually Lavrenty Beria and one of TotesFleisch's OCs mixed together(here you can see my old art ↓); that time I wasn't into Rammstein at all, I doubt I even knew how "Du hast" actually sounds like apart from memes, so I was really mad when everybody suddenly started telling me he looks like Till Lindemann🤣 So yeah this one is a total coincidence

Igor, man in red & white tho was intentionally designed to resemble Till;

He had different face structure in the start, but the first concept sketch of Igor depicted him wearing face paint designed after Kaíl (I'll show that later), and I realized - there's no way ppl not gonna compare him to Till, bc obviously old man looking like Kaíl is a fucking carte blanche for Rammstein fans to flood my comments 🤣

This look was good, but his actual face was so bland and literally giving nothing compared to the face paint ↓

And then I decided yk what - let's just make him look like Till in general, ppl were gonna compare them anyway, but at least they would be corret this time, so I took some inspo from Till's "Любимый город" era (I only took the face from the front and general vibe, all the clothes & stuff were designed by myself) ↓

Fun fact: despite having Till as an inspo the important part of Igor's design is that his hair might look like a slick back, but they actually are short and little spiky, to resemble some of my favorite European musicians who's music was influenced by POC 's music, cause that's pretty much what Igor's music was like ↓

And about other illustrations - man, I don't know, probably not, I think I just might have some similar looking ideas or something, cause I got into Rammstein/Lindemann music really late when my taste & art ideas were pretty much already formed, and in their music videos and other stuff I saw something really close to what I already had in my head, so yeah, if that's not about that one fish man design, that's probably is a coincidence 😄

Hope my answer cleared something

And thanks, my art isn't really just a hobby like yeah I treat it like a hobby now cause I don't really know how to make big money of my art yet, but I actually have an art teacher diploma so yeah technically you're right, I am a professional artist ☺️

[pumpkinsy0]

pansexual cherry valance hcs

not even a please im just a toy to u guys,,,,

•for a good long while i dont think she knew what pansexual was, like she WAS pansexual, she knew she liked more than just guys, but she just called herself bisexual cause she quite honestly did not know the word pansexual (its the 60s or 70s based on how old u wanna make her here, give ole girl a break)

•but if she DID, i feel like she kinda drops hints that she is, like if shes comfortable enough around u, she says something about not caring who ppl r as long as theyre good, she means it platonically and romantically, very few ppl have actually caught on to that (ponyboy caught onto it YEAARRRSSS later lmao)

•marcia totally knows, she tells that girl everything😭marcia is actually the only one who’s questioned if cherrys pan. she doesn’t know about being pan either, she just knows that being bi has to do w liking a guy and a girl but cherry doesnt seem to b interested in genders period sooooo, its a discussion they have every few weeks

•cherry still desperately wants to keep up appearances, shes perfectly fine w not being straight, but her and her PARENTS have worked hard for her to have as good of a life as she can get and shes soooo close to having that, so shes pressuring herself to fall in love w a guy more than anyone else

•now w that said, this means that to a degree, most of cherrys relationships w men r to a degree superficial!! this doesnt mean that she doesnt love them, she tries getting w guys she actually likes to at least give herself THAT grace, but theres a part of her thats forcing her to continue pursuing them and put up w em

•when it came to dally however, part of the reason y he intrigued her was bc he seemed like he didnt care about who anyone got w (gender wise), compared to other guys being w him in her eyes would feel more freeing in that aspect!! would she have ever told dally straight up about that??? maybe not, but for her, just the idea that she wouldnt rlly have to explain herself was enough

•w girls, cherry does the exact opposite w them!! she choses not to date them in order to not get too attached and tries keeping them as close friends, VERY close friends. sometimes the other girl knows it and bc theyre also gay just go along, other times they dont know, in that case cherry just stay platonic friends w em. theres been 2 occasions where the girl wanted something more and cherry could t give that so their “friendship” fell apart there and they dont talk anymore

•at least one of u is expecting me to say that cherry had a thing for marcia, but NO!!! she hasnt!!!! yea shes looked at marcia romantically a lil bit, like literally looked at her romantically but she hasnt had a full on crush on her before, if u want maybe marcia is also gay and theyve kissed to see if they felt anything but no!! just friends!!! they thought maybe they were soulmates romantically but nope it was platonically

•ill say one of her parents knows, they just pretend they dont, nottttt bc theyre supportive gid no, lmao but bc for the sake of keeping up appearances and if cherry doesnt “act on those feelings” then they could ignore it and excuse it👍🏽

•i dont think she could ever rlly stay in tulsa, shes moving over to nyc under the guise of having a better living opportunity when actually shes moving in order to live more freely, shes heard about the #undercovergayscene over there, either that or she stays in tulsa and has a lavender marraige

[bigmeandragonlady]

Finally finished the dossier template, few other things of note:

Pretty handy with a knife as well as the bow.

Can process seafood really quickly

Prefers to be at a REASONABLE height with the sky above her

If you want to know her exact birthday, you'll have to figure it out on your own or hassle her enough

Scars: a small cut on her chin, stab scar on her stomach (she fell out of a tree and impaled herself, okay), inside of her bicep, across the outside of her right wrist to her thumb, palm side of her left thumb

Tattoos: Ket tattoo on the inside of the wrist, floral sleeve on her left arm, anchor + rope + birds on one of her ankles

I kept rambling and found it hard to summarize the relationships so I've expanded under the cut. There are def rumors that she's dating or sleeping with at least half of them

Blade: they get along weirdly well. Recruits in particular are always surprised to find them casually walking together- they find her softer demeanor an odd juxtaposition to how Blade... is. Also! He is fun to tease. thinks how much she'd like to hear him whimper. It's a miracle they don't butt heads more often, considering her beef with authority. He hates when she gets together with Trouble and Chase b/c she joins them in being a group menace.

Romance: I could see it but Blade would have to make the first move and bridge that gap, as she's convinced herself she's not meant for a relationship. One of the biggest issues i would see them having is Blade's protectiveness would make her feel like she was being smothered and coddled at times.

Trouble: They get on like a house on fire. Her first friend in the order and i'm still deciding if they get arrested together or she pulls Trouble away. Very casual with physical affection and he's a personal space heater. Not a lot to say here b/c it's pretty straight forward!

Romance: Absolutely could see it happening but this would involve a third party kicking Trouble in the ass b/c he's dense as a brick. But it could very well fall apart b/c of her whole romantic relationship = bad, thing. She would realize 'i have feelings for him, but he doesn't have any idea yet' and probably distance herself which would cause confusion and hurt for Trouble, he might confide in someone and they just "she has feelings for you, dipshit"

Tallys: A little more complicated- Aelyn bounces and feeds off other ppl's personalities to interact so the cool, calm, detached thing is kind of weird sometimes b/c she's.... not that. It gets better as she eases out of survival mode. Tallys has given her a lot of tips when it comes to archery (flirting, unnecessary touching, ect included), they go on nature walks, and they do talk often.

Romance: Maybe. While they work as friends with benefits... idk if it would go beyond that. Speaking of: Tallys is absolutely the one to break that arrangement off b/c she's the first one to clock Aelyn being in deep for Chase (or just... between tallys and chase, idk how she has any energy). this is how i see it happening anyway, since aelyn is in denial and idk how willing tallys would be to be in the middle of... that. Of course, how these two fwb route interact can absolutely change things

Shery: She loves Shery. Like if she was more comfortable with casual affection Aelyn would give a hug and kiss on the head when they met up. Borderline cute aggression (I could see Aelyn getting drunk, holding onto Shery, saying "you're so adorable, what the fuck"). Shery does a good job of making her feel cared about w/o being coddled. Has loved helping her be a little more assertive

Romance: I think Shery would be too timid to kick things off and that's what Aelyn needs. I would see this being Shery falling and not saying anything.... forever. There's also the "and they were both bottoms" lol.

Riel: They get along but I wouldn't call them good friends? They respect each other but if they had no work related reason to see each other, both would be okay with that. Even if he was romanceable for a fem MC, it would not happen. Man won't even share his food.

Chase: This is hard b/c my brain kind of turns to static when I think about them. But they got on very quickly. Not as quickly as say, Trouble, but when she said 'We're square' she genuinely meant it. she got points right off the bat for tracking him down and busting into the guild solo and not really giving a shit that they're the thieves guild. He gets points for being so easy to get a long with and leading a life that would make him a huge hypocrite for judging her past choices.

Romance: He's her main romance so- It's such a fucking mess and i love mess. Fuck buddies who have caught feelings and are stupid about it b/c they don't want them. They've managed to worm past each others walls on accident and it's going to get worse before it gets better. At this point in the game, the thought of losing him or even turning down the dial on whatever they have going on is devastating, which scares her. Honestly, just how relationship avoidant I make her ultimately depends on how the torpedo + subsequent reconciliation happens.

Red: He caught her scoping the library and offered her a tour, gaining immediate friendship points. She's envious of his education but he's so open with his knowledge and resources she can't resent him. they talk about nerdy magic shit all the time and Blade is 🙄 when they start bouncing off each other.

Romance: Such a close runner up to Chase it's almost tragic. The biggest tipping point is that she met chase first. I think he would be patient enough to get past her walls and mature enough to just fucking... talk to her. There's obviously chemistry and something there that would make him pursue her. this would be overall healthier and wouldn't explode (as badly). she'd be terrified of meeting his family though.

Ayla: They're pretty protective of each other pretty quickly, they see the similarities they have and they get a long well. Aelyn makes an active effort to remind Ayla she has a place here and people she can trust. Teases her until she gets punched in the ribs.

Romance: No matter what I do I can't see them in a relationship. :| She's the only one out of the romacables (for fem MC) that I'm like hmmm no.

Halek: They get along very well and he seems to take her flirting in stride. I can see them cooking together (assuming Halek isn't one of those 'get out of my kitchen' people)- cooking and eating together is a significant bonding activity for her. She feels like Halek is a big judgment free zone so that's big friendship points for her.

Romance: Yes, if only to make a lifelong enemy of Moonsilk. I think they're compatible but I also don't know if I know his character well enough to say definitely. If he ever wants to 'hang out' she's down to clown.

Briony: Once she realized Briony was genuinely on the same side as her in the arena they were buds. She fascinated by Briony's sword and jokes that Red's blatant curiosity is rubbing off on her. Right there with Ayla with 'hey you want us to 'talk' to them 🤜' they like to walk around, arms linked, and GOSSIP

Romance: I- maybe? I could see it. Possibly. Though, apparently she and Lavinet's type is similar sooo maybe not. I don't think it would be.... great. My biggest fear is that Aelyn would actively sabotage this relationship and create a lasting wound for Briony (although tbh this is a fear for pretty much all the ROs)

Lavinet: They hold each other in high regard and their relationship is warmer then Aelyn and Riel's but but there's still a distance there. Lavinet operates very differently then she does and it throws Aelyn off. I'm not sure how true it is but Aelyn is pretty sure Lavinet would judge the shit out of her for some of the things she's done in the past. They bond over riding and girls nights though. Like Riel: even if romancable, it wouldn't happen.

Mimir: It's complicated. On one hand she does like Mimir as Mimir, loves how weird she can be. On the other, the whole god(s) thing? don't like that. She's resentful and tries real hard not to direct it at Mimir

[chiyoso]

dude.

seeing other writers/mutuals who are so skilled at what they do talk about not getting support in their sfw, fluff and angst fics just piss me the fuck off, i'm genuinely so heated at the amount of old and new writers struggling because of new tumblr users

ik a lot of you readers like to read our smut fics/porn fics, but those writers, also talking abt only getting likes, instead of reblogs n interactions from those types of works as well is just so depressing that im starting to have this growing idea of what some to most readers are in tumblr

ill be the voice that other writers are hesitant and afraid to express:

REBLOGS; ARE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO US THAN A SIMPLE DOUBLE TAP DOES.

LIKES are like a quick glance for us writers.

LIKES are like people who pass by us when we walk anywhere and everywhere.

LIKING is like telling us writers who take our time to write FREE shit for you; “we see it, we like it, but we will not do anything about it”

LIKES will NOT get us writers anywhere in this app.

LIKES is like deafening SILENCE for us writers, crickets, ghosts, an eerie dark night.

LIKES arent similar to instagram, tiktok and other platforms. it is DIFFERENT in this platform. they dont mean jack shit.

LIKES are like a hit and dip shit scenario. one night stand, loveless sex, meaningless encounters.

i've seen so much amazing fics, nsfw or sfw have over almost 9k interactions, then i look to the reblogs count and see only a whopping 500 or so like THE FUCK? SCUSE ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RATIO?

if you're apart of the "ooh! i genuinely like this!" then only press like—thank you, truly. we're glad you like our work, to gain your interest and your silent support, but i want to inform you simply liking doesn't help us in a technical sense, it doesn't help our blog, our reach, it doesn't help our blog grow.

and if you're one of the blogs who only likes, i genuinely don't know what's so trifling and difficult about reblogging and adding the pre-made tags for you to spam and get it over with. i do it and its so, so fucking easy.

i genuinely, genuinely don't understand the analogy as to why you can't just... press that helpful ass button beside the heart. please, someone, enlighten me behind the reasoning.

if you're a bot, fuck you.

now, REBLOGS.

will at least (without tags/comments) be seen by your following and increase our significance only slightly.

REBLOGS with # tags INCREASE our chances of being discovered by a fuck ton.

REBLOGS with tags MIXED with your comments HEAVILY motivate us, your thoughts about our WORK motivates us.

REBLOGS are so, so fucking relieving for us, and that relief has been addictive to those starved from support, especially to writers who are struggling OUTSIDE of their work/hobby/blog.

REBLOGS in a literal sense, mean so much more to us than likes. especially with your damn thoughts. the mere thought of taking your time into writing something FOR US and OUR CREATION is so fucking motivating, every positive input from you will be CHERISHED no matter what.

and the fact we have to beg for it, to speak out about it as of late...

god, i remember in full detail the day where i wrote my first story, it had only 200 interactions max, and most of them were only likes and a few reblogs, but my inbox was full of positivity, mixed in with a few shitty ones, but i pressed on because of SAID INTERACTIONS AND MY LOVE FOR WRITING.

to my mutuals and other writers; i fucking love you and your stories so much, sfw or not, the writing community has done so much for me mentally, and lots of fics have been healing me. god its my first time releasing such emotions into this blog, but yea, ive just had it from the amount of turmoil ppl have been causing into all of you, outside tumblr or not.

hhh fuck im so pissed ill stop it right here, stay safe and may your favorite characters kiss you goodnight

[nattyontherun]

Hey! I have a question, hope you don't mind. In Hearthfire Ino and Sakura say that Kakashi can be petty... is he really, though? What has Kakashi done that they consider petty?

fun question! and one i've been waiting on someone (other than @emberswrites lmao luv u bb) to ask!

so HF plays a lot with perception - as in, how characters view the situation at hand (Shisui coming back to life), themselves in relation to the situation (this answers why I chose "revolving closer - to collision" as the series name, yes) and each other.

to ino, sakura (though hardly perfect) is sorta the victim here? imagine it from her perspective: long time bestie, potential love of her life, shags up with the love of her life, they have a few blissful years of marriage (because why would sakura reveal that she's having problems with sasuke because of his mental health??) and then they break up ("mutually") only for said love of sakura's life to immediately move in with kakashi? the fact that sasuke gets SOME side-eyes and maybe a few whispers is literally amazing??? that's how you know ppl are scared of him??? because trust, if he were some commoner chuunin he'd get dragged to FILTH for this.

and so that's ino's perspective. she's already predisposed to thinking less kindly about sasuke and kakashi - kakashi in particular because, considering the beach and kakashi's age and literal job as hokage - it's easy to point at him and go "hey, this is the mfker who caused all this" so when kakashi lashes out in little ways: giving sakura the cold shoulder, some extra work maybe, or distancing himself or sasuke physically from her sometimes, that all just comes off as petty as fuck!

as for sakura - i like to think that HF sakura at least understands exactly why their relationship broke apart. it's this weird juxtaposition of knowing it wouldn't have worked out whether or not KKSS became a thing, yet hating specifically that KKSS became a thing because kakashi was sasuke's shoulder to cry on, so to speak. so she's in a position where, when ino points out something kakashi did as "petty", she doesn't /want/ to disagree, but she can't really /agree/ either, so she just lets ino do all the talking for her and lets the truth sit between them like still water.

so that leads us to that final scene between sakura and ino in HF, where ino asks about kakashi's pettiness and all sakura can do is *proverbial shrug*

-

i do wanna say though that, especially early on in the SSSK "separation", i do think kakashi has a strong need to be very very petty and that he indulges that need. it's small things ofc. like i said: cold shoulder, extra work, avoidance. without context, it goes from petty to downright mean, tbh... with context, from sakura's perspective at least, it's kakashi lashing out in a way that least disrupts their lifes work while making it abundantly clear how upset he is at her. so all the rumors start and die this way, early on, without context.

ino does learn bits and pieces about sasuke's illness over the years... but smth smth first perceptions, smth smth kakashi and sakura aren't really/friends/ anymore in that point in time. like i said FUN stuff!!

[thatbitchsimone]

How to overcome social anxiety at uni?

I feel like I can’t relate to anyone in my class because they all feel so much younger than me (they’re all mostly 18-19 and I’m almost 22). I feel so anxious and overly self-aware when I’m in class and it makes me never want to go because I can’t contribute without turning bright red and sweating or even focus on any the content. It’s fucking embarrassing. Anways, would love some tips! <3

its so crazy to me how everyone seems to be the same age or at least only a few years apart in universities in america (or maybe ur british? americans just say college right?) bc in sweden the age range tends to be very wide. like theres usually a pretty wide range bc ppl here go to uni at pretty much all adult ages (id say its usually around 22 to mid 30s but its not uncommon to be even older than that) so its wild to me that a 22 year old would be the oldest in their class at university lol

anyway i dont know if i have any good advice or insight with social anxiety like i havent been even socially anxious or even a bit shy since i was maybe 13-14 so i honestly dont even remember what its like. if its causing u too much trouble or is affecting ur studies u should probably seek out some type of help like maybe a student/school counselor or something? i know therapy isnt as accessible as ppl make it out to be but theres usually some kind of service at schools that cater to mental health/students mental well being so i think u should start there

[thatoneao3author]

Interstellar Ian - gallavich kid’s show au

i can’t find a discord server to ramble about a gallavich-centric au i’m working on so i’m gonna ramble about the concept here. I am writing a fic for it so I’m not gonna go in depth on the specific plot points, just the idea/background/set up

if you are interested in specifics, though, i’ve already posted a few excerpts from chapter one on this blog under the tag ‘Interstellar Ian AU’. 

so seriously hear me out here

ian gallagher is the host of a kid’s show in the same vein as Lazy Town, Blues Clues, etc. He serves as the host who takes the viewers through adventures in a space setting in a show he scored when he was fifteen: Interstellar Ian. it’s on PBS Kids, which is a educational kid’s channel here in the US that is publicly broadcasted and easily available to everyone for free via libraries and youtube and such. shows like Arthur and Sid the Science Kid aired there. it’s actually a really good resource for low-income families with kids but that’s a rant for another day. ian’s show is on their roster!

Frank scammed his way into getting Ian one of his first minor roles when he was fifteen but from there, it was all Ian working his way up. Being an actor screws with all of Ian’s plotlines/erases them even down to the earliest episodes in season one, but most of the rest of the show’s canon still plays out the same except the family’s financial strain isn’t as high for a couple years while fiona uses his income for the household. 

it kinda evens back out once ian is an adult and moves into a little apartment closer to set and becomes independent. Ian continues hosting this show into his early adulthood, even though it’s starting to become evident by season eight of Interstellar Ian that they are starting to run out of fresh content and maybe should’ve wrapped it up a few years ago. 

Instead of dating Mickey first, Ian actually meets Trevor (trans guy from around season six/seven) FIRST bc he costars on the show during some of the earlier seasons. they have a secret relationship and it eventually goes public, drama, drama, drama, and oops Trevor isn’t an actor anymore and he goes on to open his shelter/queer youth program. Ian and Trevor are on good terms by the main timeline of the fic though 

ian remains host of the show and after the initial drama, he becomes well known as a queer icon/actor, especially for young ppl who watch the show/grew up watching it

During the filming of season seven of interstellar ian, Ian also messes around with the new director on set: Caleb the ex firefighter. They don’t get caught or anything but there is still drama and they decide to step back and Not Do That Anymore 

Ian has a Thing(tm) for messing around with cute guys on the set of his show and he swears off of it forever. 

forever lasts until there is a new electrician hired to the set, reformed criminal!mickey milkovich

in this universe, mickey decided to stop being a major nuisance to the world because mandy got custody of their half-sister from earlier in the show, Molly, and he wants to be able to help them out or at least not cause more problems for them. so he took a course and is a certified electrician who signs a contract with the show because he needs long term + stable work. 

Ian can’t drive. he just doesn’t have a car, he never got a license because he got caught up in the acting thing gig around the age that he should’ve gotten it and now he has too much pride to do it. so he leaves the set an hour or two later than basically everyone else. everyone knows this, he was even given a key to the warehouse they film the show in because of it

so, when mickey starts showing up as the actors and crew are leaving to fix flickering lights and switch around wiring, the star of the show is still just There. because despite being famous and rich, his main form of transportation is the public kind and that’s inconsistent 

ian and mickey meet due to this overlap in schedules and ian spends the first chunk of the fic struggling because he doesn’t wanna mess around with another guy from set and cause unneeded drama, while mickey seems to like him- but not because he’s an actor/minor celebrity, just because he’s “pretty or whatever” 

that’s the general gist of what’s going on, but some other cool details include: svetlana stars as ian’s hairstylist/makeup artist who faked her way there with a forged cosmetology certification, mickey has one pierced ear and maybe a cat, ian takes care of franny a lot + mickey steps up for his younger half sister: molly (so you get like, familial/dad-like gallavich at a few different points), the fic is ian centric and in his pov, and there is a multi-chapter gap in the fic where gallavich “aren’t dating” but are basically in a relationship and I know some of you guys love that trope based off of most of the fics i’ve read in this fandom 

I think that’s all I wanna reveal but if you have questions or thoughts, feel free to reblog/send me an ask with them! the plot plan for this thing includes 15 chapters total and i’ve written 4 of them in their entirety. I’m thinking i’ll write all/most of the fic before I start posting it, but we’ll see what happens!

if you wanna know when this fic goes up, make sure you follow this blog. I’ll be using the specific tag ‘Interstellar Ian AU’ to organize information on this, as well. thanks <3

[funkinren]

So this just another reflection.

It was 2020 and I had moved out my moms after being with my gf for a year, and I moved in with my gf and her family. It was around I want to say spring. So I moved out and moved in with my gf family, I was 26 at the time. So anyways I was living in a new place and would feel out of whack and feel uncomfortable and not knowing what to do around them. And I was finding ways to cope, smoking was a way to cope, I was so indulge with school as well, and work 3-11:30pm and going to school at 8 and doing it all over again. Well I don’t know what happened I was feeling so empty like my body was a shell and I was running on fumes. I remember breaking down and my mind felt shattered, and I didn’t know why. But I think now I know why cause I remembered the feeling… in 2014 I had moved out of my mom apartment and lived with my younger brother down the street and paying rent… the first time I moved out my mom’s apartment to do this living situation by my self. I feel into a state where I felt like burnout and depression, my routines were off and my safe place of my mom and home was gone. But I didn’t understand my feelings.

So back to 2020 I’m having mental breaks every few weeks and was angry and sad, so I went to see a specialist and not knowing what was wrong I said to my gf,” I may be bipolar” but after looking for a psychiatrist and getting my dx if “bipolar disorder” I kept having a doubtful feeling about it.

The reason I kept doubting my self was first I was going along with what my psychiatrist was telling me,

Second I had more life changing events and I was regulating my self better with going out and changed my job.

And well I never experienced the mania or depression that most ppl with bipolar disorder have.

Well as I was at Morro Bay my GF sister who works with autistic kids. Thought I had autism.

It was because of the tell tell signs of how I always wore socks and sandals in the house, how I was always walking on my tippy toes, how I wore my earphones in my ear 24/7, and how I ate spicy noodles like everyday.

But what I thought autism was , was the kids in class who were having meltdowns and couldn’t do anything for themselves.

So I did research and it made so much sense…. I was flabbergasted to say the least( my mom told me as a side note that I was dx with adhd before the age of 5) and kept it to herself. I was having sensory aversion since I was a kid as well, and had many explosive outburst and crying and would shake, sing, and do other stimulators activities to regulate my high emotions.

It all made sense to me.

From sensitivity to lights, the pain tolerance,

To how my family triggers me, how I always stim by singing.

Reflection.

[manchesterau]

Hey so I know you lost interest in the 1d/larry fandom and were lucky enough to have another interest to jump right into, but any advice for someone who is pretty miserable in that fandom but can't seem to sever the ties completely yet? It's just been years of my life you know? And it feels like such a waste to just up and leave. Idk, also I know this is a me issue but I don't really vibe with the people that Harry and Louis turned out to be. At least publicly. I'm a big ball of sad and would love some guidance if you're up for it.

hello anon! let me just say i completely understand the way you feel, 1d has been apart of my life since 2012 and the fandom is something that i always thought i would be apart of.

im sorry that you’re feeling sad about moving on, but i still say that no matter what 1d will always be apart of your life! 1d will always be apart of my life, especially because of the different friends it's brought me when i really needed a community to fit in when i was younger. all my friends i met through 1d i still consider my friends, i still talk to them! you don't have to leave them behind even if you don't share the same interest anymore! and the music is still there! i will ALWAYS love their music and i will always listen to it.

also you don't have to see it as a waste to just leave because it hasn't been a waste! in my head i think that it served it's purpose up to this point of my life and that it's just time for me to move on to things that really make me happy now. also you dont have to deleted your blog/erase all my 1d stuff from your life it can still be there! i still get notifications on here that ppl are reblogging my 1d gifs and it brings me joy to see it!

i know ive said this a few times but it took my 4 years of feeling miserable in this fandom for me to finally leave so it hasn't been an all around quick process either! i was still making content, i was quick to gif whenever one of them did something. i was still making gifs of them towards the end of the year! i did get really lucky that dan and phil started uploading around the time i was thinking about leaving so i did have something to jump into right away, and it's completely okay if you don't! and again i just want to say it's not been a waste!!!! it's just you growing up and moving on and that's okay!

to your last point...the biggest reason why i decided to leave is their complete silence on the genocide happening in palestine, and i realized speaking up was more important to me than anything and the fact that they haven't and don't seem to care even though louis has the anarchy symbol tattooed on him (lol) and harry seems to only attach himself to causes either after he's been pushed (blm) or things that are deemed safe politics (gun control in america) and yet still won't say anything about palestine when he has zionst allegations (which i know are old)...i don't know, all i can hope is that they've educated themselves but im just not putting all my eggs in their basket anymore. i don't know who these men are and im just fine watching them do whatever from the sidelines.

ive stopped feeling disappointing and upset at what they do because i realized i don't want them to be the be all and end all to my happiness on any given day

i hope that this was at least somewhat coherent enough and dont be afraid to message me or send another anon!!! i hope your journey of leaving 1d behind goes smoothly for you!!! also do some little things like stop following their update accounts and turn off notifications for them on twitter/ig! i stopped following their update accounts on here and on twitter + i still follow them all but i havent had their notifications on in about 3 years!

[appreciatingtokrev]

that's really nice to heard that you guys managed to turn it around then! hopefully, your friendship will last for many years to come 🙂 i recently had to cut off a friend for 8 years because she went too far since she let bad experiences define her too much and i couldn't do it anymore 😭 it did made me realise that friendship or any general relationship does take work but it won't happen if the other party doesn't listen 😅 i'm a mac user and it's not available for IOS users expect for the iPhones but you can get GI on an iPad but most don't know this. Mac aren't really great for games anymore, you can't download any from steam now. that does make sense and maybe the company just abandoned it since they don't see a need switch version considering the success.

I've heard that the gacha concept is bad for ppl with gambling issues though like some ppl do impulse buy on there a lot. i've gave into playing honaki star because i wanted to be there from the start. which one do you prefer? i like honkai star more, how about you?

you are right, i got a bit lost there and we don't have the high school system on my end so i have to look up fms 😅 are you still in high school then (?) where i live, ppl your age are at university or they're retaking the previous year to get into uni.

i read the manga a while back so i've looked it up and you're correct. that is a good point, koko does seem more likely to change compare to inupi. that's true since even mitusya was still a member in bad toman and mikey disappeared and kisaki's influence. i wonder that cause koko to change that much in the bonten timeline though? because he definitely knew what he was doing then by signing up to it willingly.

it is a bit hard and long 😅 which version of venti do you want to cosplay? that is a shame but more interesting characters will appear where you might want to cosplay them instead and like you said, you could always start now.

tbh, anime merchandise is pretty expensive so if you could order it, it would be a little bit hard to find reasonable prices 😭 there are limited edition perfumes of TR that cost at least 100+ for just ONE, i was talking to someone and she will buy at least more than one but i was like wait, what if you don't like the scent? and then she said i'll just add it to my anime collection then and i went 💀 i would never do that, would you? making his earring must been cool though, does it jingle then? you're almost there then! wouldn't a wig be uncomfortable though? and hot to wear in the summer ? my cousin said the same thing about the hotness and you guys are exactly one month apart from each other, she's 16th of March lol. i'm not telling anyone that i'm cosplaying 😂 i'm just going to wear it as an outfit every once in a while and i'm not buying a wig.

i'm not a makima fan either, i just like her outfit lol. the fanart of her are cool though considering how terrifying/dark they are. why don't you like her? it really was and luckily i managed to get the last one for my size otherwise i've would given up 😭 thanks, it's not perfect, there is a split at the back (at the bottom) but closet i was going to get so i'm happy.

ty!! yeah i hope so too :] oh no,, i’m sorry for you ajdjfkh losing friends you’ve had for so long is very hard but if you believe it’s better that way i’m glad you did it & i hope it doesn’t take too much of a toll on you. a few years ago me and my best friend of 8 years grew apart and well... i was pretty sad about it tbh but i mean that’s life.

hm interesting, didn’t know abt any of the technical genshin stuff bc for my laptops it’s always worked without a problem

i hate to admit it but i’ve spent money on genshin too, though it was a one-time thing and i was still financially stable afterwards (otherwise i wouldn’t have done it). but yeah, it’s definitely a problem for gambling addicts.

ohh personally i prefer genshin, probably bc it’s what got me into gaming on pc and i’ve been playing it for so long lol but i prefer honkai star rail over honkai impact for sure. i do prefer the gi/hi fight mechanics but those in hsr are very fun too and i like that they did something different for once!

yeah i mean it’s not really a highschool here either... i would explain the school system in switzerland to you but it’s a little complicated so ajfjfjhsk tbf i’m a bit older than most people in my class tho it’s not too unusual for someone my age to be where i am bc the fms & gymnasium often have people repeating a bunch of times or similar things. most people actually graduate highschool at abt 18 to 20 where i live, in my specific type of class even half a year later so 19 to 21. and i’ll graduate at 22 so yeah lol. then i’ll probably go to university

i guess koko is just more prone to crime than e.g. inupi or mitsuya? i think it has to do with his trauma relating money because he knew that getting into bonten would secure him good business (if he works well ofc, but he knows he does lol) plus the other people who ended up joining bonten wanted him to be there too so that gives him an easier time making a decision.

i’d love to cospaly just his normal outfit, the one he wears in-game! my hair’s been growing out since and i never dyed it but i actually got pretty much the same haircut as him last summer lol. now idk what i wanna do with my hair and i hate going to the hair dresser so i haven’t cut it since ajdjfkhsk.

yeah, merch is so expensive 😭 i ended up finding a store in the city where my school is at that sells some animanga merch, including tokrev (and gi) stuff, so i now have a tiny takemichi figurine and a little plushie mitsuya keychain hehe, and both weren’t too expensive. i’ve also been planning on crocheting some little tokrev dolls inspired by a silly fic i read lol but my motivation has been so low 😭 ah yeah i’ve seen a bunch of tokrev perfumes too... i mean. if she likes spending money on stuff and has enough money to do it... her choice i guess

it does jingle!! i haven’t worn it yet tho bc i don’t mind the sound but i’m pretty sure the public doesn’t lmao so i might make another that looks the same but doesn’t make any noises so i can wear it.

mhh honestly i don’t think i will care abt wearing a wig too much, it’s not for too long and while i hate tge heat i can tolerate it quite easily so. and i think it will be plenty of fun (and struggle) to style it haha

oh lol, i see i’m collecting people with birthdays similar to mine one way or another lol. that actually makes a lot of sense! her outfit very much is perfect to just wear casually so. omg i love makima fanart, especially when people incorporate a lot of symbolism and/or horror elements. she’s just so pleasing to look at in a way ajdkfjsjh. she gave me bad vibes from the start and well i dislike her for her actions, which should be pretty popular lol. any reason in particular that you dislike her? omg pretty much the same thing happened to me with my valhalla jacket jacket, i’d checked out every store in town and was SO close to giving up when i found one slightly too big (it makes my shoulders look weirdly broad but i have some ideas on shortening the sleeves to fix it) and it looked okay so i bought it.

[the-kipsabian]

💫🎀🎉💞💥🍭💎🪄💌

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback? i honestly love everything i get be it just 'good' or a keyboard smash or anything, but ive always been extra fond of feedback that states the commenters favorite part of the fic or picks apart their favorite sentences etc. cause to me that feels like they took the time not only to read, but also to try to invest themselves in the story and understand it and what the words i was putting down were fully trying to convey. they are the very special kinds to me personally <3

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing its the one i can keep repeating to the very end, but i love the way i can convey emotions in scenes. i think im pretty hecking good at that honestly

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!) oh wow i havent. actually rewarded myself for finishing and posting since i started doing it again lol. i do give myself credit when its due cause i think my work is pretty good at the moment so i dont feel like im posting subpar stuff, but i also dont know what to reward myself with. i cant afford anything and little things dont bring me much joy rn honestly lol. stay tuned maybe i figure this out

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language characters (and their relationships) and the overall mood. i usually want to convey a certain feeling through a scene so thats my top priority, and i take pride in my character work a lot so thats also up there, trying to make them feel as real as possible. reading-wise im a plot person tho, or again the mood is really important to me

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it. (unspirisingly) insomnia. i just thought it was really cute. it also helped my anxiety while working on it and reading it afterwards a few times so like. yeah. its also the piece that got me into writing kip so thats very special

🍭why did you start writing? i have always liked stories. i was a lonely child with no friends and talents, writing was the one thing i was maybe good at and ppl complimented me on when i dared to share something with them. currently im doing it as an outlet and cause it just makes me happy and my god nobody else is writing these fics and ships (except you <3) and someone fucking has to LOL

💎why is writing important to you? i mean its pretty much the same answer as above lol. im sad, im lonely, trying to make something that makes me happy since i have almost completely fallen off from the drawing bandwagon and i need a creative outlet. its the one way im most comfortable expressing myself and it keeps me sane rn. its like the One Thing i feel im actually good at i guess

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic? recently i think all ive done after finishing something is either eat or go to bed lol. i also more often than not let the written stuff simmer for a while, depending how im feeling about it if its an hour or a few days before editing and posting so im not constantly overworking myself, but yeah. food and/or sleep is the most common thing rn. as stated above, i cant afford any big things to celebrate with and small things barely give me any sort of happiness rn

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited! i love how this question immediately drew my brain into a blank lol. i dont really have a lot of things actually in works right now, i just have a very long list of ideas and requests, theres only like. actually three things im trying to work on that i have started (and i might have to scrap at least one of them hmm). but immortal fears is always good!! chapter 3 WILL happen eventually, its maybe 2/3 written right now and i just really. REALLY enjoy writing chuck. so im excited to share that and hope that people like him as much as i do!!

fic writer asks ~

[cornflowercanine]

figuring urself out.. is weird

[viisator]

Business Confession

Tittle: Business Confession

Pairings: Kim Sunoo X F!Reader

Genre: Smut??, NSFW, Love hate relationship

Warning: S*x, Offensive words, Cursing, 18+.

Summary: Kim Sunoo has been your rival since graduating college, you two had been aiming for the CEO position of a company since then. But there's a common secret you two have. You want each other.

Note: Not suited for minors.

Not Proofread

Short Scenario

(Idk if you call this sm*t😭 but ig it is, but there's no deep details Abt s*ggs and stuff, but idk, it's so awkward posting smth like this here when I never posted smth like this, like ever. And also, my family knows this acc, and if they confront me Abt this fic I'll eventually delete it.)

– Can I have a request, please? After/before you read this(thanks for checking this out btw) like or reblog, or both; is really appreciated!! And it will help my blogs reach other ppl too!! Thank you!! Have a good time reading!! –

• • • • •

Kim Sunoo and you are nothing like friends. He'd rather die if someone--anyone would call you two friends.

Why?

it's not like you like him, he likes you, kind of stuff, but the opposite. It's like he hates you, you hate him.

Kim Sunoo is the son of the current CEO of Vé-Lives, and now he is aiming for the position. while you are the granddaughter of the founder who wants that position, but, Kim Sunoo is making your blood boil for he had been aiming for your nerve for these past few hours.

Today, Kim Sunoo is in front of you--in front of everyone--with his annoying smile while he says flattery, and everyone sure is flattered; and that is your problem, how can you get that position if he already got the attention of everyone?

Once the event has already ended, you wasted no time and stands up and exited the place.

"I'd appreciate it if you at least flattered me with this whole success." Kim Sunoo followed you down the hallway with a smile tugging up his face.

You turn around, "Oh," you said with a sarcastic smile. "Who fuckin' cares?" With that, he gave you a giggle, and it made you want to stab him more.

"Are you acting like this because of your business proposal the other day?" he asks you with amusement and a smug smile, smirking to his delight.

"Oh, you mean when you slap me the other day? No. no, of course not," you said once again sarcastically, "I fuckin' hate your existence."

"That's amusing," he mumbled still smiling and looking at you with the look of a predator looking at its prey.

"Cut the crap Sunoo."

"Oh, I'm Sunoo now? not Mr.Kim?"

And with that, you turned your head and heals ready to leave because he had pissed you quite enough for you to make a scene.

"Are you walking away 'cause you're embarrassed enough that I am the next president when you spend your time making efforts to nothing?" he lashed out one more time before your fist landed on his face, he was shocked and surprised as he felt the sting eats his face. With a little bit of time, his palm met yours; and you were also shocked, he had slapped you--again.

"Fuck you," you said with venom lashed your voice, while tears glided through your eyes, ready to fall down your cheeks.

"I wouldn't mind you doing it for me," he said with daggers in his looks and knives in his voice. he's no longer smiling, he's looking at you ready to kill.

"I'd rather die." Once you said that, his face is close to yours, advancing at your side, his lips close to your ears, and his breath warm on your skin.

"I know you wouldn't mind doing it with me, would you not?" His hand finds its way to your clenched fist, and the other held your left cheek. you could not explain these feelings, the tension lingers around; but sure enough, you know you like this feeling, and you wouldn't mind him lingering his hands around you--anywhere.

You know you had dreamt about this, and you know you've dreamt of this quite a few times already, so when Kim Sunoo led you to his car, up to his apartment, up to his couch, your mind lingers about his touch and nothing more. that night, you did not think about anything else, not even the president position of the company, just the fact that his body is against yours, his body heats yours while you heat him, and the fact that your nails dig up his skin while you suppress your voice, preventing yourself from making any noise, while you lie to him about you being inexperienced. Lying about the feelings you always have for him. Lying to yourself that you hated him. And while his lips danced with yours, his hands around you, your mind is drunken with his eyes.

"I love you." That word satisfied Kim Sunoo so well.

**SORRY FOR THE CRINGE-NESS **I realized there's no smut in here, but would you consider this a smut? it's still portraying s*ggs in the last stanza...idk

Masterlist

©Visitor 2022

[sadisthetic]

jaya string of fate au

ive mentioned string of fate au a few times here. ive finally put it together into a post. okay so the reason why ive taken so long to transfer this is bc ITS FROM JULY OF LAST YEAR. i wasnt sure if i should lightly edit it or rewrite it. because it started out as me complaining about rebooted and then me fucking craving fanfiction and hurt (i do this 24/7) and then it morphed into this au that also doubled as character/relationship analysis and me fixing rebooted with my bare fucking hands in the context of this au

anyways. jaya string of fate au with emphasis on the heartbreak of s3. half of this was written half a year ago. man i was so mad about s3 back then lol

been thinking about s3 again. whats even more frustrating about the bad het drama. is that they didnt even give jay and nya a proper break up. granted their get together wasnt on screen either BUT IF YOURE GONNA OH SO RUDELY TEAR THEM APART LIJE THAT. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS DO IT WITH MORE FUCKING PURPOSE. THE WRITERS JUST PITCHED A WRENCH INTO THE WORKS AT BULLET SPEED JUST BECAUSE! JUST BECAUSE THEY WANTED DRAMA. BUT FOR WHAT!!!!!!!!! MAKES ME FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL IT DID IS DO JAY DIRTY AND NYAS CHARACTER DIRTY

nyas fucking integrity spit on. you didnt have to make her be like that. it just really fucking made her look BAD. god i wont say jay was a perfect boyfriend but he didnt deserve THAT.

anyways. i want a canon compliant jaya breakup fic set in s3 (present jem speaking: I STILL WANT THIS BY THE WAY.) im so certain nobody has written this. i think heartbreak could be a form of whump if you make it hurt enough.

well. technically. it would be more emotional hurt fic rather than whump. but im a guy who has his definitions twisted. this is whump to me. also im a guy who thinks unromantic things as romantic but also loves love thats void of romance above anything else. i can do both. anyways.

i want jay to feel absolutely crushing heartbreak. i want jay to be hurt. i want him to feel it in his chest. unfairness— rending, jealousy— twisting, want— squeezing. all he yearns for is to be with nya. because he loves her. but apparently... nya doesnt feel the same way. and it hurts

i want to consume heartbreak. i think itll be crunchy on the outside but soft and squishy on the inside. absolute chewable pleasure. lightly salty and bittersweet. i also wanna squeeze jays heart like a stress ball and maybe cause arrhythmia. scratch it a little (a lot). jay is my emotional and physical fucking chew toy

and so to make heartbreak a bit more whumpy tho... i thought up of red string of fate au...

in this version of this concept, the red string of fate is something that needs to be tied by the pair together. and the feelings behind it is what gives the string color. but sometimes if a love is fated to be, the red of the string is instantly, intensely vibrant, almost glowing 

but you dont know who your soulmate is until you actually get together and tie the knot. it is not preexisting, the string does not connect people together for them to find each other before they even know the other exists. it only exists when two people make the decision to bind each other to themselves. most people dont find their soulmate but because its so often the case ppl are content with someone who isnt bc you dont need to find love in your soulmate alone, love is abundant in other places. but that isnt to say the red string of fate isnt romanticized in society tho. anyways. nya likes jay and their string is a pleasant warm red thats a little pink. its typical color for those who arent soulmates but its ok

jay is a little smitten in a slightly overbearing way tho. i think they are a couple who are a little bit mismatched in terms of showing affection. and also nya is very independent type so jays chivalrous tendencies grates on her a little but she lets it slide bc to her, jays positives outweigh his negs. hes cute and funny and they both can geek out and bond over tech stuff. thats a part of the fun. 

but then the match maker thing happens and nya doesnt immediately start considering cole as a romantic interest. but she does start... considering things tho. why cole could be her match. and if he really is her soulmate. why isnt jay her perfect match? its less nya becoming interested in someone else and more nya examining herself to think about what she actually wants for herself and what she wants in a person and if jay really isnt the right guy for her in the end. she doesnt know if cole would actually give her what she wants more than jay does. but she does grow more aware of the mismatch between her and jay

but before anything could be done about her doubts and dismiss it all and just carry on with their relationship, jay finds out in the trailer and is devastated. and intensely jealous of cole.. because hes been a bit insecure about his and nyas relationship for a while now also. he jumps the gun too quick before nya could reassure him so then that Fight happens and things get messy and ugly really fast. jay makes himself look really bad in front of nya which unfortunately reinforces her doubts in jay and she thinks. maybe they shouldnt be together after all. 

and so one night nya talks to jay alone. she explains herself. how shes been feeling about them. how she wants to focus on herself. and that hes too much for her and hes stifling her and she thinks it would be better if they cut things off and go back to being friends. and then she cuts the string that binds them together before jay could even object. it stings for nya but for jay it feels like his heart was sliced in two. literally. he feels a sharp pain that makes him clutch his chest. for nya, she had more time to process the severance. because she was sorta falling out of love for a while. her side of the string has become desaturated and dull. which is why she doesnt hurt as much

she doesnt realize how much jay truly loves her and how much it would hurt him when the string was cut. so when jay falls to his knees, tears falling, she just turns and walks away because she thinks its just from the heartbreak. she knew she was breaking jays heart

she doesnt realize how much hes literally hurting, how she left his heart bleeding. she knew but she didnt know. its most painful experience jay has ever felt in his life. a searing ache. theres a sudden painful void instead where there once was nyas love. its loss that was much too abrupt

heartbreak cant kill a person but it can leave them wounded. and with an abrupt disconnection like that, its why jay hung onto those feelings for nya for months after even tho he never acted on them. his half of the string refused to wither away and he didnt want to discard it either. how could he when he still loved nya. but he couldnt do anything about it though. nya made up her mind. and jay knew her well enough that she would probably hate him more if he chased after her. and so... he kept his feelings close to his chest and his sad, loose thread wrapped around his finger tight all the way until skybound...

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okay. now present day jem speaking. that was the end of original story i had written on twitter... its meant to be a missing scene (inbetween seasons) fic + au. canon compliant except for the fact its set in this au. so skybound more or less carries out the same way. except minor details being changed...

such as nadakhan approaching jay. he tells him he cannot fix or create strings of fate. but he can give him other means of winning nyas heart... 

although this isnt a part of the “fic” i do imagine at the end of their divorce era.... nya who had casted away her old string, remakes her string to tie to the end of jays (and her) old one where she cut in. the thing is making strings of fate is something anyone can do regardless of being fated to be or not. what the string of fate is in this au is more of an oath... an intention to be together to the end of time. the two people are choosing to bind their fate to each other. nya, who had felt stifled in a relationship and decided she didnt need to be in one back all the months ago, realized something in skybound.... the string of fate isnt a contract or a shackle. not like how she thought... its a sentiment of how much you care about somebody to want to be connected forever. till death do us part. and jay very sincerely wanted that. he wanted to be with nya forever. and nya realizes... despite all his flaws, she really cares about him. she does want to be with him forever. she wants to be together with everyone, all her friends, her family forever. i think she doesnt know the nature of her feelings for jay. they are a bit conflicted and shes not sure how to sort out her desires from her feelings. but i think she decides to give jay a second chance of sorts. when they tie the loose ends the color on nyas side is an ambiguous grey barely tinging pink 

she tells jay she doesnt want to just get back together. she wants them to start over. and jay isnt sure what that means. and by the color of the string hes not sure if it means theyre dating again either. its a very ambiguous ground theyre standing on. but... jay takes the fact that nya retied their string to mean something. that nya isnt rejecting him anymore. that she cares. that he means something to her. it gives jay hope. his feelings for her havent changed... but he decides that to just be. and take things slow. hes happy even if hes confused by what nya wants. hes connected to her again.... and that means so much to jay

i think that their relationship from the end of skybound and onward is a bit more slowburn. well its a weird sorta slowburn. because theyre together but not really. its about them figuring their relationship out. and also nya falling back in love for reals. i love navigation of ambiguous relationships. i think for a while for nya the term “girlfriend”/“boyfriend” is more loaded than the term “soulmate”. thats how fucking weird their relationship got. whats not ambiguous is that nya does love him. she wouldnt have retied their string if she didnt. whats ambiguous is the nature of that love.... its not quite platonic but shes hesitant to call it romantic. whatever. they have time to figure it out

okay. that turned out so much more aro than i was intending. but i do like leaving it like that tho. feelings are difficult to navigate arent they sometimes? how they figure it out is up to whoever. love is love. they are more than “just” friends. but romance itself is a difficult and different beast than love. but jay and nya.... they meet halfway somehow. even if it takes a bit of work

ALSO. LOOK AT THIS ART BY DAN @rotten-dan he drew it for me several months ago when i first finished this au’s original thread which ended at the breakup skdjgthulkd. HEARTBREAK!!!!!!!!!!! YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you again dan for drawing this for me 

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also. heres some bonus supplemental worldbuilding that doesnt pertain to story stuff but fleshes out how i picture the world in this au to work. most of this was written to answer dans questions about this au lol... not necessary to read unless if youre interested in my take of string of fate concept lol. or unless youre interested in the bit about bruiseshipping in this au at the very end

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the string is often attached to the ring finger. so its a very romantic gesture when couples tie it together to each others fingers. like putting wedding rings on each other but its more of a cute fluffy thing rather than binding. not ceremony but its a Thing. its the same level of formality as asking someone out. and string is like. supernatural. its not completely physical but its definitely exists and can be touched. but not as if a literal string is tied to them if you know what i mean? like if the pair are far apart then the strings middle isnt visible but the ends that are tied floats towards the direction of their partner. the string is like. metaphysical. its a perceivable, somewhat tangible representation of love

but if desired the string can be cut if the parties want to separate. but it usually hurts. like a lot of breakups do.

okay so. the thing is with like. almost all soulmate aus. is that they know about their soulmate. or that the evidence of who it is is instantly visible. and like..... that sorta kills part of the fun? of falling in love?

so what if they dont know until they decide to try each other out first. thats the like. the thought behind the set up for this

like. theres sometimes the occasional dumbass whos going off constantly try to find their soulmate but ultimately a soulmate isnt someone you can simply Search for and find. so those kind of people end up being pricks who never will find a soulmate in their life because they dont want to work things out with ppl who arent their soulmate. the pursuit of a soulmate will usually end in disappointment

but sometimes. for the people who do find their soulmate. its because they gravitated to each other in the first place. 

like they fell in love with each other naturally. they liked the person for who they are. and so they decided to get together because they enjoy the other person so much. so when they realize they are meant to be they laugh like oh of course! they were meant to be. theyre like the hallmark movie couple of couples and the few of the very lucky ones

not being soulmates doesnt mean you can only fall in love with your soulmate tho. you can fall in love with anyone. regardless of whether theyre your soulmate or not. and even if theyre not. why does that fucking matter? the important thing isnt that they arent meant to be, but that they love each other anyways. isnt that more romantic? fuck fate the one i love is you

usually nonsoulmate relationship take more work. because the instant perfect chemisty of fated couples isnt there. buuuut. isnt that how love is like in reality? love is work sometimes. love is sometimes hard. but love is also worth it. so making the decision to work for it is more easy the more youre in love. not always the case. but in the healthy couples its usually the case

previously that the feeling behind the thread gives it its color. so. the string can end up being a different color if the feelings felt arent romantic love. most people dont know this though bc ppl who usually tie it are couples. and also it takes both of them to tie the string. every single relationship has a theoretical string color. its just most people who actually want the string are couples usually couples. and so for example, most aros dont ever even think of trying to tie it with someone bc they dont want that kinda bind. but if a curious aro wants to try it out bc they are questioning about their best friend if the two of them agree just to see. their string could actually be a different color than red. because the feelings behind it are platonic

its also entirely possible for a string to be entirely black between enemies hfhjskl. but however those kind of pair would usually NEVER tie the string together bc you know hbghsk. enemies. but if they were. it would be that color. but maybe some insane enemies who are obsessed with each other would do it tho. you know fated enemies and such

..... i have thoughts about bruiseshipping in this au also. theyre best friends, they can bind each other if they wanted to. they have the mutual sentiment required to. but due to the culture surrounding the red string of fate specifically, they never think to. even if they did consider it once they didnt ever bring it up bc awkward!!!!!! the string of fate is the symbol of love. couples treat it a bit frivolously but it is a loaded thing. the string of fate is conversely isnt strictly about love but its just often the case when you want to connect the souls of two people for eternity its usually because of love. theoretically i think their string color would actually oscillate between black and their standard representative color (maybe ill go with light blue lol....) depending on if theyre fighting or not. because it would be funny if it did. also. i think they might try it only after jay and nya retie their string of fate. because then they see its an option to tie strings of fate nonromantically. so theyre like... hey.... do you wanna like... just see? and thats that. two besties bound. jay has two strings of fate now

hysterically it would be funny if all the ninjas did it to each other. it would be a mess. but a colorful one. you know those ship charts where ppl draw lines for their otps and notps. its like that but its not shipping its just relationships and also every single person is connected to every single other person. not saying it has to happen in this au its just that the image of it is so fucking funny to me i had to say it. it would be useful tho if they wanted to find each other wherever they are. practical

maybe they should do that. idk

anyways. thats the end of my au. the post is longer than my og thread of it hjhklkjlkghjf. anyways. thats my weird subversion of string of fate au for jaya. writing the endgame jaya part tonight made think again. damn. im so fucking aro. i think the way i write romance always turn out not so romantic because of it. but also. THIS IS PEAK ROMANCE. SUBVERT BORING ROMANCE TROPES INTO SOMETHING LESS AMATANORMATIVE AND MORE INTERESTING FOR YOUR ENRICHMENT. I RECOMMEND IT. ITS MORE FUN. thats my biased aro ass speaking tho. but for reals. subvert tropes. find out what makes something truly romantic. anyways thanks for reading all of this. i am very fond of this au..... especially for the breakup scene lol...............