#cause I don’t think I’ll reduce my intake

[angstitty]

Why is it that searching if a food is bad for you will only tell you if it makes you gain weight ffs I don’t care about the calories I want to know if too much peanut butter will kill me. Google says to stick with a 1-2 tablespoon daily serving which is just RIDICULOUS if you know anyone who eats peanut butter.

[iironwreath]

Fiend [Ulysses]

[cw: forced captivity, body mutilation (not shown but aftermath described)]

Ulysses knew something was amiss when Aldous waited outside her chamber. She resisted the urge to turn back into the sanctity of her room, holding firm and straightening her back.

“Good morning,” she said cautiously.

“Come with me,” was all he said, and turned brusquely. She fell into step in his shadow.

He led her to one of the smaller libraries taking up one of the higher floors of the tower. Aldous had set up a magical force cage and inside, a humanoid creature slouched against the bars, their back to Uly.

Their skin was red-hued, their hair scarlet, thick but dishevelled and pulled over one shoulder. On their shoulder blades, between the opening in their clothes, were two truncated bases of what used to be wings. They weren’t clean cuts, but roughly hewn like they were meant to cause pain. Two thick runnels of a darker-than-blood substance had dried down their back. The show of violence and captivity in a place of study made Ulysses draw up short and gape, the blood draining from her face.

Her small intake of air alerted their presence. The person—a woman, she thought—glanced over her shoulder. The movement was slowed, but her eyes burned bright, two suns of gold with feline pupils. Horns swept away from her head in four places, longer ones on her crown and shorter ones from her temple. Ulysses had thought she was sleeping, but those eyes sized her up before skewering her with a glare. She tiredly repositioned her head to its former spot without a word. 

Uly’s gaze travelled downwards. Her wrists were bound in her lap in shackles that occasionally pulsed with runes. The veins where the skin made contact with the metal were a bruising purple, borderline black. She couldn’t identify the creature, only that she must’ve been magical.

Fingers landed on her shoulder. She stifled a flinch; Aldous’ grip made her bones creak.

“She’s a succubus,” he said, answering their unspoken question. “Best not let your guard down around her.” 

“Who—?”

“Not a who, a what. She’s a fiend—from Hell, specifically. Some of their kind hail from the Abyss, but not this one. She can’t do magic as is,” he gestured to her bindings, “but that won’t mean she won’t try to get what she wants the old fashioned way.”

The succubus shot a second, fouler glare from over her shoulder that could’ve reduced the books to a crisp.

“What do you mean, ‘the old fashioned way’?”

“Succubi—devils in general, really—are known for being persuasive. She could try to charm you into freeing her. Entice you with a deal, maybe.”

Ulysses swallowed. “What do you intend to do with her?”

“Same as everything else we do for the Cerberus Assembly: learn. Master Doolan Tversky entrusted her to me for research. She’ll have insight into different magic, culture, perhaps even know locations for different artifacts related to The Lord of the Nine Hells. They caught her trying to collect sensitive information from the Soltryce Academy. Very few know she’s here.” He clicked his tongue. “Audacious creature, that’s for certain.”

Uly pursed their lips and nodded. They’d have to settle without knowing how he intended to do that, but she didn’t need a creative mind to guess. His tone suggested a rare giddiness, like the succubus was a trove to be pried into and he took no greater pleasure than schooling Ulysses on things she didn’t know. She’d probably find out eventually, either by osmosis or if he chose to share in fragments over time. She didn’t want to push her luck. 

His grip pinched her shoulder again. “I don’t think I need to tell you to keep her existence here quiet,” he said lowly. Magic leaked from his touch, raising the hairs on her arms. “Master Doolan can cover for us if need be, but she shouldn’t have to, if we play our cards right. I intend to complete my research and if that’s interrupted, I’ll guarantee you’ll never gain magic of your own.”

“My lips are sealed, sir.”

He patted her arm. “Good. You’ll help me see to it that she doesn’t die—feed her, water her, tend to her wounds, you get the picture. If she dies, she regenerates on her home plane fully intact, memories and all. The last thing we need is her coming after us with a vengeance.” He walked to a table and laid a hand on a small stack of books. “Read these. But heed my warning; she’s dangerous.” 

He exited the library. She rubbed her shoulder.

It took too long before their muscles relaxed. They deposited their spellbook on the table next to the pile. She ignored them for the moment and crept around the enclosure to the succubus’ front. Her eyes were still open but hooded with fatigue, following Ulysses without moving her head. 

“Before you ask, I don’t need food or water,” the succubus said in a dry, weary voice. Under normal circumstances, Ulysses could see the allure; she couldn’t imagine how pleasant she would’ve sounded without the pain and anger and restraints. Her voice was a tickle at the nape of her neck instead of a caress over her mind. 

“I was going to ask your name,” Uly said. 

“You first, wizard’s pet.”

Uly cocked an eyebrow. She was used to capricious behaviour from the fey—outright malice wasn’t new to her. The succubus’ wasn’t unearned, either; she’d be pissed, too. Ulysses was pissed with Aldous, and she wasn’t caged. The only reason this creature’s enmity didn’t scare her like Aldous was because of the barrier. Her fire could burn from inside the cage, but only smoke would come out. So long as Ulysses didn’t get close enough to breathe it in, she’d live.

“It’s Ulysses,” she said.

“Just Ulysses?”

“Just Ulysses.”

The succubus backed off without a rise, removing her gaze. “I’m Dicentra.”

“Pretty name. Isn’t that a flower?”

“It’s rude to flirt with your captive.”

“I’m not flirting, and you’re not my captive.”

“Then don’t say my name is pretty.”

“It was a knee-jerk compliment. It’s not a bad impulse to have.”

“Don’t do it again.”

Ulysses shrugged. “Fine. I’ll be over here.”

“Enjoy being over there. And not in here.”

“Easy enough.”

She returned to the books, trying—and failing—to make Dicentra fade into the library’s background.

[twopoppies]

Hi acne anon! So I don’t have acne, but 2 of my friends did. One of them stopped or reduced sugar intake and oil/fats. Another friend used glycolic acid (I think ordinary product is quite in now). It hasn’t completely helped them but it did reduce drastically. Oh! And also milk and coffee apparently is a cause for acne too! Hope this helps!! I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, I hope you get past it soon! If you maybe want to ping me for more, go ahead! I’ll ask around too :)

Thank you, love!

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Can we take a moment to talk about what a tragic character Minerva is? Y’all know that for the longest time I haven’t been the biggest fan of her, and honestly I’m still not? but I think I might’ve had a breakthrough on why that is. 

Whenever I’ve asked around to see why people find her so appealing or why they consider her their favorite, I’ll get answers like, “she’s such a complex character and she deserved a redemption arc!” or “she should’ve come back to the school with us! Let Minnie be happy, you cowards! Telltale did her dirty! I could write paragraph after paragraph about her!” all sorts of things along those lines… but like, no one seems to want to actually talk about her. I find that interesting? Since when I do follow up with a “care to explain further?” I get nothing. Radio static. Like…. no, talk to me please, I just wanna understand-

Minerva within the context of TFS is such a tragedy. She grew up in a school for troubled youth where all the adults left them for death at the start of the breakout, they had walkers trying to eat the living all around them, and I’m sure she saw her fair share of traumatic violence and despair… but on the bright side, she always had her twin sister, Sophie, and little brother, Tenn. She had her friend and eventual girlfriend, Violet. She had music, and a dorm full of pretty paintings done by Sophie. She and Louis composed a song together to make everyone feel better. There are worse places to live than the school. 

Then one day she got traded away to a bunch of raiders against her will, having no idea what the hell these people were gonna do to her and Sophie. They were made to be soldiers to fight in a war that had nothing to do with them. The delta fucking broke her. If we’re to believe Lilly’s story about the twins, they started their brainwashing process early on when Sophie was still alive, and it seems like Minerva was easier to control as Sophie was still planning a way out and causing trouble. Then, when Sophie convinced her to steal a boat and get the hell out, they got caught and the delta forced her to murder her own twin sister. 

Like…. I’m sorry, not only did Minerva kill her own sister, but she was made to believe that was the right thing to do? That line she says about how she had to prove her loyalty to the place she calls home? That shit’s ingrained in her brain, you can tell that isn’t the first time she’s heard or said that very thing. That is what made her family to the delta. Delta is her home now, her family. Sophie was just a thing that needed to be dealt with. You keep your head down, do as you’re told, and you survive.  You survive and you get to go home, eat a hot meal, take a shower, and be with your delta family.  If not, you end up like Sophie.

What’s also fucked is that Minerva actually cares about these people now. Think about that. After everything they did to her and made her do, she’s been trained to see them as her family and obey. When you save Louis and he kills Dorian, Minerva actually cries out and is visibly hurt by her death. When she’s with the other raiders on land, she's screaming at walkers to get away from them. She cares about the people who made her kill Sophie… and no one ever talks about that??

She fucking hates Clementine. Clementine is just another thing in Minnie’s way. I know the part of the fandom likes to ship these two together and they think it’s hot when they fight and shit, but within the canon text, Minerva wants Clementine gone. Dead. She is the thing stopping her from having her old family merge with her new family. If Clementine hadn’t made them fight, they all would’ve been captured and they’d all be a delta family now. She would’ve had Tenn back. 

Clementine is the problem, she made everyone fight back and that’s why people are dead. Minerva hates her for it… it’s not a “I hate you but like the sexual tension, y’know?” that I see people pretend it is, it’s “you are ruining everything and if I have to, I will kill you myself and I won’t give a second thought about it when they toss your body overboard.”

Like….. seriously, think about how fucked up all of this is. Minerva is a husk of who she was before she was taken away. Sure, you do have to keep in mind that when Tenn and Violet are describing her, their sights are a bit clouded, y’know? But I do believe that she was someone who was kind and cared about people, she wanted to make people feel safe and comforted. 

Now she’s a brainwashed soldier who won’t help the people she used to call friends when they’re about to get limbs cut off. She won’t hesitate to knock someone unconscious or threaten a child.  She’s willing to trick them into being captured with no regard for what’s going to happen to them. … all she knows is this was the mission, and now they all get to be together again back at the delta. 

Then when she finds out there’s a bomb on the boat, she ditches Violet to blow up with it in order to make it to land herself. She loses her shit seeing everyone die and gets her face chewed off by a walker… and then she tries to blow Clementine and AJ up with a grenade. 

Oh, and who can forget the fact that she tracks the group down with plans of murdering Tenn so that they can go to a better place together? And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way?

Like….. jesus christ, Minerva’s waaaaay too far gone. It’s awful. 

I think that’s what stumps me about why she’s so loved in the way that she is. It’s not that I don’t understand why she’s complex and well-written, I get that perfectly fine. She’s a compelling character study when you comb over all her scenes and take different factors into account.

What I don’t understand is why we tend to just throw everything interesting about her away? For what? 

These days, I never see anyone talking about any of this unless they’re insisting she deserved a redemption arc which…. Eh, I’ll touch on this later. What I mostly see here and mostly other platforms is how great it would be if she and Clementine made out, or hey what if she and Violet got back together if she did come back to the school? Or they just….the best term I have for this is “uwu-ify.” As in she’s reduced to a caricature of a tall, pretty, mean, white lesbian who has “good damage.” 

People insist that Telltale are cowards or bastards because their predictions of her turning on the delta to save Clem and crew didn’t happen. Instead, Minerva ends up being the final baddie you gotta get away from, and she ends up taking someone down with her. But did you really expect to just do a 180 and suddenly decide being brainwashed for over a year was lame and Clementine and friends are cool? Gonna help them out and be with Tenn again? Sure, there’s some left over trauma but love conquers and fixes everything, right?

Uh…. no? That’s not how people work? Honestly, if we entertain the idea that Minerva wasn’t bit and somehow didn’t murder Clementine when they all got back to the school…. romance is the last thing she is ever gonna think of??

I think that’s what bothers me most when reading these au’s and rants about redemption and the entire idea of clemerva as a whole. It’s the same thing that I see happen with Violet- Minerva only has value to fans if she’s in a wlw relationship. By herself, she doesn’t matter. They don’t care about her canon story, they don’t care about Sophie, they don’t care about discussing what could’ve happened if she and Tenn reunited under better circumstances or had a healing recovery together. But why?

Throwing a girlfriend at her isn’t some band aid that’s gonna cover up all the bad she went through?? Having an enemies to lovers romance with Clementine isn’t going to fix a years worth of brainwashing, trauma or the fact that she murdered her own sister and the delta told her she's proved her worth to them?? 

Having the support of those around her is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The idea of the Ericson crew as a whole trying to help her out and do the best they can to accommodate her is bittersweet since there’s only so much they can do. They’re not trained therapists, which is what Minerva would need and plenty of years ahead of her to work through and come to terms with everything that happened as well as taking steps forward. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have friends or that she couldn’t have a healthy romantic relationship someday... but that isn’t the solution, y’know? 

I don’t know how else to explain this, but it makes me feel weird that all of this stuff is flat out overlooked or doesn’t appear to matter to fans of her. 

Look, I get it. We all want these characters to be happy. AU’s are a thing, after all. Sometimes we want to forget about the bad things and focus on the good that bring us comfort. You wanna gush about the idea of an AU where the twins never got traded, the raiders didn’t exist, and Clementine got to meet them the way they were before? I feel that, AU’s are super comforting and fun to explore, and my point isn’t to try and shame anyone who has an AU you like this. 

Hell, you think I don’t have days where I pretend mute Louis isn’t a thing because the whole concept of Louis having his tongue cut out of his mouth breaks my fucking heart? No, lot’s of days I just want to forget everything about that route, I want to set aside all the bad and just intake as much clouis fluff as I can get…. But that doesn’t mean I always ignore or refuse to acknowledge the bad just because I don’t like it. I fucking hate the fact that Louis loses his tongue when you don’t save him, but guess what? That’s a canon route you can play, just like any other route, and the possibilities that come with a mute Louis are vast and compelling. 

This is how it is for me… my favorite characters are my favorite for a reason, and I take all the bad with the good. Louis isn’t perfect, and I don’t want him to be. I was to dive into his backstory about why did that to his parents, I like to talk about what he went through with Marlon’s murder and his feelings about AJ and Clementine at the point, I like to view his love of music as bittersweet. He can stand on his own, and while he is a love interest for Clementine, that isn’t his only purpose. 

I know everyone’s different, they express their love for characters in their own ways, but I do have a genuine question: do you guys actually like Minerva?

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to step on toes or make everyone feel defensive which I know is how people will react to this. “You’re just saying all of this to make us feel bad for shipping clemerva! You don’t even like Minnie so you don’t get to say shit!” yeah yeah, I hear you and look, it’s true that she’s not my favorite character. I know I’ve said I hate her in the past but upon reflection and throwing out fandom interpretations.... I don’t hate her. I get it now. She’s a great character study to dissect and analyze and I think she deserves more than what the writers and the fandom have given her. 

And yeah, what I do hate is clemerva, and I’ve explained why. It’s not for me, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, who cares? Me not liking it doesn’t mean anything to those who create AU’s for them. They have their reasons, they can do as they please as long as they’re not hurting anyone. I’m just here pointing out things I see and things that bother me in hopes of starting a discussion.

There’s my ramble about Minerva. I’m gonna go make some tea now. 

[hxneydreamers]

The thing is that am really easily triggered by these type of stuff like what if they are right and am just delusional…

I get you, I really do, but again, when you repeat saying these things and thinking these things, the more it becomes true, because you're literally manifesting all the time....

Even if you were to give up, you'd still be manifesting.

I suggest you do some meditation or SATS to get yourself centred and in a calmer and more focused state, eliminating outside distractions. Couple this with some visualisation or self-concept affirmations, and use EFT tapping to help reduce adverse reactions caused by any doubts or triggers.

Remember, this is literally a scientifically proven thing. It's real. If you feel doubts because you let yourself read things that make you feel that way, then you need to stop and do the OPPOSITE. You need to instead start to look up success stories, or watch videos of the scientific explanation of this stuff. I highly recommend you look into Dr Joe Dispenza and Joseph Murphy.

I also suggest you do some testing of manifestatin on small things. Try the ladder experiment. Prove to yourself that it works. The reason why your desire is taking longer and feels like it's not working, is because:

a) you are focusing too much on the opposing thoughts

b) you have a strong emotional attachment to it

The way to combat this is mental diet, making things easier for yourself by cutting out negative intake which triggers these doubts when you can help it. (If you can't then research the people I said before to see the evidence to get rid of your doubts). And SELF-CONCEPT!

The more you step into your power, the more you see and feel that your desire is not actually that big and that it is nothing compared to you. It's not more special than you and you are not unworthy or incapable of having it.

I know it's hard and it can feel extremely overwhelming. Trust me, I KNOW, I've BEEN THERE! You just have to find the best way for you to persist and you need to make this as easy for yourself as possible! Don't put yourself in situations that you know will make it harder for you emotionally or mentally (where you can help it).

When I was manifesting my SP, I turned off my active status on facebook so that I would stop seeing when he was online and so that I could access my social media with no worries of being triggered. I even started to reply to him less and less and let his messages pile up in my phone so that I would be in the state of knowing he was waiting on ME.

Now, these things were not necessary at all, but I did them because I knew that it would make it easier to persist mentally for me and it would eliminate some of the obstacles that made me react and revert to doubts and the old story.

If you can do this in any way, I suggest you do, because once I did it, it helped me so much, and I still haven't turned my active status back on, because I love it and I never want to worry again.

I don't have to either, because I have my desire and I am in my best self-concept now, where I don't even care enough to check my phone, because I know that no matter what, my desire is mine.

Try your best to avoid putting yourself in situations which will make you react. Work on your self-concept, and keep that mental diet sis. Persist!

When we are manifesting desires that we care about, there is always going to be a stage of discomfort, and the reason for this is that YOUR LOGICAL MIND is reacting, because what you are doing is WORKING. You are simply having doubts because you are trying to transition from one mindset to another, and when you have such deep doubts, it can feel uncomfortable.

But, would you rather feel uncomfortable for a day or two, and then get into a better mindset and get your desire? Or would you rather stay in your comfort zone and repeat your current story and thoughts and continue to manifest your current circumstances?

You need to make this decision and stick with it, ok?

I have full faith in you and i KNOW you can do this!

I'm sending you all my love and support and I hope that you will do what you need to do to set boundaries for yourself to make this a more pleasant and seamless experience. Make manifesting fun! It's not work, it's literally having your desire!

YOU'VE GOT THIS! If you need any extra support, my DMs are open. I'll get to you as soon as I can. All my love xoxoxooxoxoxoxox

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Baxia and NHS.

Author’s note: this fic ended up having virtually no NHS, sorry

-

“This isn’t right,” Wei Wuxian said. “This isn’t how it should go – you’re not even supposed to be here!”

Nie Mingjue huffed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes only because he needed them pinned on the murderous battlefield the Lotus Pier had become. “No one can predict the future,” he said shortly, and stepped out into the hallway, Baxia lifted high, and another four Wen soldiers’ lives came to an end. “To think that you can is arrogance.”

“You don’t understand,” Wei Wuxian insisted, and honestly, if he hadn’t made himself extremely useful both as guide and back-up, Nie Mingjue would have sent him away long ago to spare himself the headache. “It’s not – you might die here.”

He sounded upset about that. It was flattering, given that they’d never spent any time together before now; he must be basing his impression entirely on Nie Mingjue’s reputation.

Flattered or not, Nie Mingjue still wasn’t very impressed right now. “That’s a risk you take when you fight, yes. Don’t blame yourself – there was no way to predict when the Wens were going to attack, or where; they could have just as easily have come to Qinghe.”

“They wouldn’t have been able to get close,” Wei Wuxian muttered, and that was flattering, too. “It’s just – it’s too early. We should have had another few months!”

Nie Mingjue wasn’t aware the Jiang sect had been taking the threat of Wen aggression so seriously that they’d been making estimates, but it was all for the best. 

Maybe it would help them in the war to come.

“Anyone who says they can see the future is being lied to,” he said. “Man plans and the Heavens overturn; that is the way of things. Anyway, you’re not wrong: it probably would have been later, should have been later, but they were robbed of their victory at the Cloud Recesses. There’s no satisfaction in burning empty buildings with all the treasures and people gone, no victory in it – it’s no wonder they accelerated.”

Wei Wuxian looked stricken by the thought.

“Cheer up,” Nie Mingjue said. ���The Jiang sect will survive. That will be bad news for the Wens.”

Jiang Fengmian might be mild-mannered to the point of weakness, but he was an excellent cultivator, and of course Madame Yu’s fearsome reputation had been well earned. After this, they would have no choice but to be on the front lines.

“But you might not,” Wei Wuxian said again.

“A worthwhile trade,” Nie Mingjue said, and shrugged when Wei Wuxian gawked at him. “Haven’t you noticed that they’re following us? Dozens if not hundreds of Jiang sect cultivators that might otherwise have been put to the sword will be able to escape, and between all those lives and one, even my own, which one do you think will be more useful in winning the war?”

“You,” Wei Wuxian said. “You and your Nie sect, holding down Heijan like an iron wall for the Wen sect to waste its strength against.”

Was Wei Wuxian a fan?

Bizarre.

“I appreciate your confidence in my necessity,” he said, and ducked into another small nook when a group of Wen soldiers too large to easily handle ran by. The momentary rest was welcome. “And if it makes you feel better, they’re not aiming to kill me.”

“They’re not?” Wei Wuxian asked, appearing like a ghost in front of one of the sentries to slit his throat. He was surprisingly adept in the arts of warring in confined spaces, the ambush and the merciless kill; it almost made one wonder what purpose the Jiang sect had for him.

“With these numbers, if they wanted us dead, we’d be dead,” Nie Mingjue said. They’d lasted a good while longer than he’d expected, actually, a tribute to Wei Wuxian knowing how to get through the Lotus Pier in a thousand unexpected ways and their united strength, but even that was flagging: he had cuts and bruises in a hundred places, some more critical than others, and Wei Wuxian for all his pointless complaining wasn’t doing that great either. Perhaps his nattering was his way of distracting himself from their imminent fate. “I’ve humiliated Wen Xu before. Wen Chao wouldn’t be able to resist the thought of capturing me – and when he does, it’ll be the Core-Melting Hand.”

A sharp intake of air.

“Are you sure? I can understanding wanting to take you prisoner, but…”

“If he doesn’t think of it himself, I’ll make sure he does,” Nie Mingjue said, and ignored how Baxia grew warm with rage in his hand. He flipped back his sleeve and dipping his fingers into the blood seeping out of wound in his chest – an arrow that had come too close – and began drawing on his right hand with his left. “There are worse fates out there.”

“But –”

“Normal people die faster,” Nie Mingjue said, choosing the least traumatic of the possible reasons. Wei Wuxian was young; he didn’t need to know the worst of Wen Ruohan’s wretchedness. Nie Mingjue’s cultivation was too high and too compatible with Wen Ruohan’s own: his fate, if he were to go to the Nightless City intact, would not be so easy as death. He was counting on Wen Chao not knowing anything about his father’s most vile preferences, or possibly just being too stupid to think about them. “That’ll be an advantage. But more importantly, losing my cultivation renders me immediately ineligible to be Sect Leader, and my value as a hostage will be significantly reduced.”

Wei Wuxian looked shaken by Nie Mingjue’s practicality. He shook his head, trying to clear it, and then focused again, this time on the bloody array making its way up Nie Mingjue’s arm to the elbow and down to the backs of his fingers. “What are you doing?”

“A legacy,” Nie Mingjue said, even as Baxia screamed in his mind like metal scraping against stone. “For my brother. He’ll need all the help he can get…speaking of which, it’s time for you to go.”

“What?”

“The Wen sect isn’t looking for you, however much you irritated Wen Chao,” Nie Mingjue said. “It’s always been my plan to ensure you got away clearly before I was captured – and it’s nearly time, now. No man can fight an army alone.”

His body burned, exhausted and worn out from the hours of fighting; he’d done as much as he could, and everything else left in him was for Huaisang, who deserved better than to be made Sect Leader too young the way Nie Mingjue had. He had hoped to spare him that, but if he couldn’t do that much – he could at least do this one thing.

This one terrible thing, forbidden by his ancestors, abominable anathema – but there was little Nie Mingjue would not do for his brother, and he had faith even if he had no hope.  

Baxia was fighting him over it, resistant and rebellious in a way she hadn’t been since the first time he’d mastered her – the first time he imposed his will on hers, making the inexorable bend before him. They had been partners after that, and that was how he preferred it; but in the end he was the master, as it had to be, and she could not stop him.

“You should go,” he said again to Wei Wuxian. “If you get caught, what’s the point?”

Wei Wuxian’s hands were shaking, but he nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said, as if he were responsible for this somehow. “Thank you.”

And then he was gone.

What a ridiculous young man.

Baxia was biting him, causing his palm to bleed, trying to mess up his design – urging him to fight instead, to fight kill slaughter a way out, any way out.

“I’ll try,” he yielded enough to promise her. He needed to stay on her good side, after all; the array wouldn’t work without her. “I’ll give it a try, with all my strength.”

He did.

It wasn’t enough.

No man can fight an army.

In the end, he’s forced down on his knees, as he’d expected, Wen Chao standing in front of him at a more-than-sufficient distance as if he was afraid Nie Mingjue would leap up and stab him even with four people and suppression array fierce enough to bring down a ghost general holding him down.

He was probably right.

“You’re a coward,” he told him, and Wen Chao laughed nervously. “A coward, and a fool.”

“Well, he caught you, didn’t he?” Wang Lingjiao snapped, her voice shrill with nervousness, and a single glare was enough to have her cowering backwards. “He did! Wen-er-gongzi, you’re a hero!”

No one believed her, not even Wen Chao, but with an effort he puffed himself up anyway. “You shouldn’t have stood against my Wen sect,” he said, aiming for lofty and mostly coming off as cheap. “This is a just punishment.”

The Wen sect would paint the ground blue and the sky green if it got them what they wanted, and Nie Mingjue snorted in disgust, closing his eyes for a moment to find the trigger for the array painted onto his saber arm.

It burned.

Baxia, kicked across the room to get her away from him, seethed. Still not assuaged, still unhappy, still rebellious – but he did try to escape. It wasn’t his fault that he was only human.

It burned.

“Wen Zhuliu,” Wen Chao ordered, as Nie Mingjue knew that he would. “Let’s see how the esteemed Sect Leader Nie likes it when there’s nothing left of his oh-so-great cultivation. When he’s nothing.”

It burned.

Nie Mingjue smiled through the pain, baring his teeth at the cautious approach of Wen Zhuliu. “No matter what I am,” he said, “I am enough to terrify your nightmares.”

“Not for long,” Wen Chao shouted, which was admission enough. “Wen Zhuliu! Do it!”

Nie Mingjue’s cultivation was usually like a mighty river, rushing through his veins – to feel it spill out of order, pouring out of his body and into the array in his arm, was painful to the extreme, like bleeding out but worse. But it had been long enough, he had distracted them long enough.

Nie Mingjue hoped that it would be enough. 

By the time Wen Zhuliu put his hand on his shoulder, reaching down for his dantian, the river had become little more than a trickle.

Wen Zhuliu’s stone face cracked in two.

“What? What is it?” Wen Chao demanded, realizing something was wrong from the look on his retainer’s face. “What did the bastard do?!”

“I don’t know,” Wen Zhuliu said slowly. “But – his cultivation. There’s almost nothing left of it, and his meridians are all burned and twisted…his golden core is faint enough to be almost hollow.”

“That’s impossible,” Wen Chao scoffed. “Everyone knows how powerful Sect Leader Nie is! Even my father…what did he do? How did he – why did he –?”

He stopped, shook his head.

“It’s a trick,” he decided. “Do it anyway. I want to make sure there’s nothing left of him –”

There was a scream.

It sounded like metal against stone, harsh and ringing and shrill; it sounded like rage.

It sounded like hope.

Nie Mingjue smiled, a real smile his time, and shut his eyes.

Everyone else in the room turned to look.

It was the last mistake they made.

Nie Mingjue only opened his eyes again when a hand landed on his shoulder and fiercely shook him as if he were a disobedient kitten, and when he opened his eyes there was a woman glaring death down at him. She was tall, her features more fierce than beautiful, and she was dressed only in blood and guts.

“I knew you’d be lovely,” he said.

She smacked him in the face, hard enough that his head was ringing, and snarled wordlessly at him. There was nothing but rage in her face, in her eyes; the array he had used to give her every ounce of the cultivation he had built up for years, and most of his life-force besides, was forbidden for a reason – it would unleash something terrible into the world.

Something that knew no restraint, no mercy, only the desire to kill –

Well, in theory.

A small smack on the head was very much the least that Baxia could do.

“You’ll take care of Huaisang, won’t you?” he asked her, the remnants of his qi lurching unsteadily within him; he would have a qi deviation sooner rather than later as his body attempted to cultivate at its usual rate with virtually none of the spiritual energy required to do so, and his family did not have a good track record of surviving those – though he’ll be the first of his line to die from exhaustion rather than rage. “He’ll need someone strong by his side, to do for him what needs to be done…to tell him what evil is, in case he can’t figure it out on his own.”

“I don’t think that’s a problem Nie Huaisang has, actually; you’d be surprised,” said Wei Wuxian, who Nie Mingjue had entirely forgotten about, the sound of his voice a sudden shock of surprise.

He jumping down from some rafter where he’d been hiding – planning some sort of insane rescue, perhaps, or maybe just trying to bear witness. He had a flute clutched in his hands, of all things; Nie Mingjue hadn’t even known that he cultivated with music as well as the sword.

“Also,” he added conversationally, “what the fuck was that.”

Baxia hissed at him, a sound like the slow slide of a saber out of its sheath.

Wei Wuxian wisely took several large steps back.

“Sect Leader Nie,” he said, voice suddenly much more polite. “Forgive me my surprise, but – your saber just cultivated into a guai.”

“I wasn’t expecting her to get there this quickly,” Nie Mingjue said, nodding. “I’d been counting on them taking her back to the Nightless City…”

“Where she’d be able to use the resentful energy to cultivate into a guai, and therefore act as a weapon against the Wen from the inside,” Wei Wuxian said, nodding. He was really very clever, figuring out that Nie sect sabers could use resentful energy like that, in a way humans could not. Or, well, should not. “Except she really, really wanted to kill everyone here before they hurt you, so she did it faster.”

Baxia hissed again.

“What?” Wei Wuxian said, lifting up his flute defensively. “Am I wrong?”

She jabbed a finger at Nie Mingjue, who swayed a bit from the sheer force of it even though she hadn’t put any spiritual energy into it. So much saber qi…! Guai were truly different from humans.

“I don’t know what you want – fuck. You look terrible, Chifeng-zun.”

“That would be the blood loss,” Nie Mingjue agreed. “Possibly the impending qi deviation. Hard to tell, really…what?” he asked, seeing the expression on Wei Wuxian’s face. “You didn’t think this type of array is something you’re supposed to survive, did you?”

“But you’re not angry!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, already reaching out to start transferring spiritual energy into him. It wouldn’t be enough. “You’re not – you’re empty.”

Nie Mingjue nodded.

“You gave her everything you had…no wonder she was able to cultivate into humanity,” Wei Wuxian said, and there it was again, that ridiculous admiration. “Mistress Saber, is the only thing wrong with him the lack of qi?”

Baxia jerked her head. If Nie Mingjue lived as something other than a comatose vegetable, he’d have to teach her to properly talk, assuming that guai were capable of that. They weren’t like yao, which had once been animals or plants and familiar with the generalities of things such as eating or breathing; guai were formed from the non-living, and had never known such simple things as mere words.

He missed their connection.

If he had any qi left, he would be able to figure out what she was thinking behind that flat expressionless face that had not yet figured out how to convey anything other than rage.

If he wasn’t going to die, he’d get to see the terrible, wonderful things she would do at his little brother’s side – he’d have to be sect leader now, yes, but he wouldn’t need to change himself, contort himself into something he wasn’t, to have the strength to hold it.

He would have liked to have seen it.

“Chifeng-zun? I know something that might help stop the bleed of your qi. But it’s…unorthodox.”

Nie Mingjue waved a hand, consenting; the alternative was death, so why not?

Wei Wuxian lifted his flute to his lips and began to play.

-

Much later, Nie Mingjue wakes up in the Unclean Realm, Nie Huaisang at his side and Baxia having apparently learned to properly scowl, and – yes.

No matter any of Wei Wuxian’s complaints, it was a worthwhile trade.

[armandyke]

The link between diet and autism: a critical analysis of the recent Earth Locker episode and a chance for River to relive her lab report title writing days

Link to the original video

So as I already mentioned I’ve seen a few people talking about the recent episode of the Earth Locker (a podcast by Robert Sheehan, Tom Hopper, and Bryon Knight) where they talk with Tom and his wife Laura about their experiences raising their autistic son. I watched the whole episode and while there were a lot of good points made, there was also some misinformation, statements that were poorly explained and could be misinterpreted, and a couple of pretty harmful ideas put across which I’m gonna go into below. 

Disclaimer one: I’m gonna be saying a lot of stuff that I’m not going to be posting sources for. This is because everything I’m saying comes from my experiences as an autistic person, my experiences working as a support worker for adults with autism where I am currently a key worker for two autistic individuals, my work related training on autism, mental health, and diet & nutrition, and my knowledge from my psychology degree in which I also spent a lot of time studying biology and physiology. This is all just stuff that I know, and at some point I might try to add some sources but I’m writing this fresh off watching and making notes on this video so my energy is already running a little low and I’d rather focus on getting my points across instead of having to take time to source every piece of information. 

Disclaimer two: The purpose of this post isn’t to attack or defend any of the people involved in the podcast. This is also in no way a criticism of Tom and Laura’s parenting. This is purely a criticism of the discussion that took place on the podcast, not on any of the choices they’ve made for their son.

Disclaimer three: I’m going to be using the phrase “challenging behaviour” a lot while I’m explaining things as this is the term used in most modern research and is what we use at work. This basically describes any behaviour that causes harm to the individual or to other people around them, or behaviour that is detrimental to the individual’s wellbeing. 

So the main thing I want to go into with this is the misinformation and misinterpretation of information that was central to the discussion in this podcast, and that was around the connection between diet and autism. Most of the things Tom and Laura said about the effects of diet weren’t incorrect, but it wasn’t explained accurately and missed out on some key points so let’s go: 

In terms of whether diet can “cause” autism: no it can’t. There’s absolutely no evidence to suggest it does. It also can’t “worsen” autism because autism isn’t something that can get “worse” or “better”. A person with autism can develop and learn new skills and they can also regress (and diet can influence this, which I’ll go into further on), but an autistic person at a lower stage of development does not have “worse” autism than a person at a higher stage of development. 

Poor diet can have an impact on autistic people in the same way as with neurotypical people. If we eat junk, we tend to feel like junk as a result, and when we feel like junk it can be harder to concentrate and carry out our usual day to day tasks. However, autistic people are also significantly more likely to suffer from digestive problems and food intolerances, and so for a lot of autistic people (or parents of autistic children) diet may be something that requires close attention. So saying that an autistic individual’s challenging behaviour could be a result of their diet isn’t necessarily untrue, but it does massively oversimplify the issue. The challenging behaviour is more likely a response to pain or discomfort, (as well as frustration if they are unable to communicate this), which is caused by a diet unsuitable for this specific individual, which is caused by an intolerance or digestive problem, which they were at greater risk of developing due to their autism. It’s worth mentioning that medical professionals still don’t know why this comorbidity exists. 

So, referring back to Tom and Laura’s experience with their son, they were explaining that their son’s challenging behaviour spiked while he was on a high-sugar diet. Laura also added that he had been suffering from increasingly frequent infections in his ears and throat while eating these foods, which makes sense because high blood sugar levels can weaken the immune system and make us more susceptible to infections. They then explained that these infections stopped following a tonsillectomy and a change to a sugar-free diet, which then also lead to a complete reduction in their son’s challenging behaviours. Again, implying that the reduction in behaviours is a result of cutting out the sugar is oversimplifying. It’s most likely that their son’s challenging behaviours were a response to the pain the infections were causing, which may or may not have been linked to his sugar intake. Either way, autistic people are all individuals and so while a reduction in sugar intake has benefited their son, by no means does that mean that all autistic people should be following a low-sugar diet or that this would be beneficial for them. 

This isn’t entirely on topic but there are two other things I want to address in terms of what Tom and Laura said while talking about their son, the first being when talking about their initial approach to their children's’ diet before they were aware that their son was autistic. Laura essentially said that she wanted their children to be able to try different foods and that the focus would be on education about health and diet rather than cutting “unhealthy” foods out of their diets completely, which I thought was a great way to approach things. However she then added that, had they known about their son’s autism at the time, they may have approached things differently, which I was confused about. I think (and hope) she was just trying to say that if they had known upfront that sugar particularly seemed to be detrimental to their son, they would have reduced that straight away rather than having to use a process of trial and error which makes sense, but just the way it was phrased set off alarm bells because it sounded like she was implying that they would have controlled his diet more strictly if they had known he was autistic. Hopefully this isn’t the case because autistic people don’t need to have their choices limited if there is no detriment to their health or wellbeing. 

Another thing I was confused about, and I’m not sure if this was supposed to be more of a weird analogy rather than factual information, was when Tom started talking about “sensory glands” when talking about their son’s hypersensitivity to sounds. I think his exact words were something along the line of saying that the high sugar levels were causing his “sensory glands” to “swell” which was heightening his sensitivity. And like... unless I missed something there is no such thing as a sensory gland and they certainly don’t swell up when we’re over stimulated or when we have a lot of sugar. Sugar triggers high dopamine responses in our brains which then leads to cravings and can cause spikes and crashes in mood, and it can also cause inflammation, all of which can cause discomfort and in turn could lead to an increase in sensitivity, but as far as I know sugar doesn’t have a direct effect on our senses. 

Now on to the elephant in the room and the two big, glaring no-no's in this podcast, both of which were said by Tom (these are not direct quotes because I didn’t get a chance to jot them down in time so I’m paraphrasing slightly):

“we cannot ignore the correlation between rising autism rates and the increase in fast food consumption” (spoiler alert: yes we can)

“I really want to get to the cause of autism and see if there’s something that can be done to prevent it”

So, first of all, autism isn’t something that needs to be prevented. Autistic people are not a detriment to society. We don’t have an illness, we just experience the world differently and, in some cases, require additional support to live our lives as fully as possible. Obviously it can’t be ruled out that fast food, or anything else, has a part to play in rising rates, but there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that it does and correlation absolutely does not equal causation. Gay representation in the media has also been steadily rising with rates of autism diagnosis. Does this mean that seeing gay people on TV makes people autistic? No. As Laura briefly mentioned, it is far more likely that the rising rates are actually due to an increase in understanding about autism and the accessibility of diagnosis, especially when you consider how many people are still slipping under the radar even with all the knowledge we have today.

I appreciate that most of this podcast is just a conversation between friends about various topics, but when the goal of this podcast is to “raise awareness”, and with the shared platform the people involved have, casual statements like these are incredibly dangerous. With the general implication that if everyone lived a healthy, clean, and organic lifestyle, we could reduce the number of autistic people in our society, this not only puts the “blame” on parents of autistic people, and on the individuals themselves, but is also dipping into eugenics territory. And while I don’t think the intentions behind either statement were malicious, they were incredibly ignorant, and the fact that they went completely unchallenged was concerning and made me pretty uncomfortable. 

There were still a lot of positives in the podcast. I’m really glad Laura was also involved because she definitely came across as being the most educated on the subject of the four of them and did make a point of bringing up issues with diagnosis (particularly among girls with autism), her and Tom’s privilege in terms of being able to work with doctor’s to find out as much as possible about their son’s dietary needs and to then provide him with a tailored diet, and also addressing the issues with “high functioning vs low functioning” when Rob asked about the “severity” of their son’s autism. However there was still an undeniable amount of inaccurate or poorly presented information, as well as some things that were just plain incorrect and offensive. I appreciate that a lot of this was coming from personal experience rather than being generalised information, but I think this could have been communicated a lot more clearly and effectively considering the intention was to spread awareness, and the episode would have massively benefitted from the input of an autistic adult. Rob specifically had a lot of questions about autism in general and I think they would have been much better answered by somebody with autism, rather than a parent giving an outside perspective of their child’s experiences. It’s always a little uncomfortable to watch four neurotypical people discuss autism, regardless of how positive their intentions are, and I don’t think it would have been a great challenge for them to find an autistic person who would have been willing to talk about the topic with them. 

[wesawbears]

@linecrosser requested Jerejean and massages for @aftgexchange. I hope you enjoy! 

Follow the read more for some grade A yearning.

--

Jean stepped out of the locker room after practice, giving his hair one last towel dry. It was longer than he could remember it being, but it felt good to do something for himself, something he had always been afraid to do with the Ravens. 

He was always the first one to leave the locker room, not wanting to engage with the childish antics of his teammates. If Jeremy was here, he might have stuck around long enough for the other man to dry his hair by shaking it like a puppy. He would call him out on it, and Jeremy would tease back that Jean was responsible for the team’s entire towel allocation. Of course, Jeremy was graduated now and playing professionally, but his legacy on the team had been passed on, despite Jean’s fears that a change in leadership would change the dynamic entirely. 

Jeremy had stayed in Los Angeles, claiming that he just loved the city too much to leave. Jean had a sneaking suspicion that he had actually stayed for him, knowing how close they’d gotten during their year as roommates. Whatever Jeremy’s reasons, he wasn’t going to push. Jeremy did not change his mind easily, and he’d learned early on that convincing him that Jean wasn’t worth the effort was a lost cause. 

In any case, he benefited from Jeremy’s decision. He didn’t lose the best friend he’d ever had, and Jeremy’s apartment was reasonably close to campus. Jeremy always complained that it was too quiet by himself, so with the exception of travel weekends, he stayed at Jeremy’s place more often than his dorm. It felt a little reckless, being away from the team, but Jean couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He made his way there now, singing lowly along with his Spotify playlist. Jeremy always whined about the fact that all the songs were in French so he couldn’t sing along, but Jean just chimed back that that was the point and Jeremy let it go, despite his indignation. It was calming for Jean to be able to casually have his language back.

When he got up to Jeremy’s place, the sound of music drifted out into the hallway. It should be frightening, Jean thought, the way it felt like coming home walking up the stairs to his door, but Jeremy had always made him feel welcome and safe, like it really was his home too. 

He didn’t need to knock, and Jeremy barely started at the sound of him entering. “Jean! You’re just in time, I’m finishing food now.”

Jean’s stomach growled as if on cue, making Jeremy laugh as he brought bowls over to the couch. They ate peacefully, with Jeremy filling Jean’s silence. He took care of the dishes after, while Jeremy clicked through to find a movie. He always teased Jean for actually doing the dishes right after eating, while Jean called him a heathen for letting it pile up in the sink. It was all terribly domestic and Jean felt the familiar stutter in his heart at how normal this thing between them felt.

By the time he turned to join Jeremy on the couch, his shoulders were tight, a combination of practice and aggravating old injuries.

“Have you had the doc look at that?” Jeremy asked, barely glancing up. He knew what aggravated Jean’s body.

Jean shook his head. It had been over a year, but he still wasn’t a fan of that much touch, especially from people who had power over him. More than that, the idea of people seeing the extent of his injuries made him feel cagey and defensive. 

“It’s not so bad,” he says instead.

Jeremy pursed his lips. “You know,” he said, conspiratorially. “I’ve been learning a lot about massage in sports lately. There’s a lot of research on it. Helps blood flow, reduces pain and inflammation...it could help.”

Jean grunted. Of course Jeremy knew him well enough to know that practical arguments worked on him, especially ones related to his playing. He wasn’t willing to give in yet, though, even if he knew he would in the end.

That was the scariest part of all of this. He wanted Jeremy’s hands on him, wanted Jeremy around him in a way that was wholly unfamiliar. They both knew it, knew what they felt. There had been so many nights spent in each other’s beds, Jeremy’s leg between his, Jean’s lips pressed to his hair. Too many drunken almost kisses to count. But they played this game because the alternative was to pitch off this precipice and they both didn’t know what they would find at the bottom.

Honestly, though, Jean was tired of playing, of pretending he didn’t want everything Jeremy had to offer. For now though, he stayed his hand.

“Please Jean?”

“Are you really begging to be able to give me a massage? Shouldn’t I be begging you?”

Jeremy waved away his concern. “We’ve always been an odd pair. Come on, you stubborn lump, let me help.”

At last, Jean nodded. “Fine. But if you make it worse, you’ll hear about it.”

“I know, I know. Come on.”

He followed Jeremy into the bedroom and looked at the bed. “Should I undress to my level of comfort?” he asked cheekily.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Yes, smartass.”

Jean laughed and peeled his shirt off. He was subconscious about his scars, but Jeremy had never made a big deal of them, so he had never felt like he needed to hide around him. He laid on his stomach, his head thrumming with energy. He wasn’t nervous- not exactly. He knew Jeremy would be gentle. It was more anticipation, and maybe excitement. It had been so long since he’d experienced those emotions that it was hard for him to place. Whatever it was, he wanted Jeremy to make his move.

After what seemed like ages, he felt Jeremy’s hands on his back and his breath hitched at the feeling of them. They were warm and held the calluses that came from holding a racquet so often.

“Okay?” Jeremy asked.

“Yes. It’s good.”

Jeremy nodded and set to work on his back, moving his hands over the aching muscles. It was a lot of sensation at once, but Jeremy never pressed too hard and after a while, he felt himself start to drift, until his world reduced down to his hands.

He let out a soft noise of pleasure and felt Jeremy’s hands still. “Good?”

“Touch me,” he said in answer. He heard Jeremy’s intake of breath and turned his head back to see the reaction for himself. Jeremy looked as affected as Jean felt and he held his breath in turn.

“Jean…”

“I want you to. Unless you don’t.” 

He was giving Jeremy an out, one last chance to retreat back into their game. Instead, Jeremy leaned down and pressed a kiss to the knob at the top of Jean’s spine, so gentle Jean felt something in him splinter and spread warmth through him. He reached back and caught Jeremy’s wrist before he could continue. When Jeremy looked back at him confused, he pressed up on his elbow to capture Jeremy’s lips in a kiss. 

He rolled quickly onto his side as Jeremy fell ungracefully onto the bed from the sudden force. They kissed another moment before Jeremy’s giggles broke the spell.

“What?” Jean asked, smiling and running his thumb over Jeremy’s cheek.

Jeremy beamed. “I just can’t believe it took us this long.”

Jean chuckled. “The massage pick up wasn’t how I expected it to happen.”

Jeremy squawked in faux offense. “You think I planned this?”

“I don’t profess to know anything about what goes in that brain of yours.”

Jeremy grinned and kissed him again, and Jean pulled him close. As he deepened the kiss, Jeremy’s hand pressed on his shoulder and he hissed. “I’m fine,” he said before Jeremy could pull away. “I just think this massage may not have had the intended effect.”

Jeremy hummed. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“I know you will,” Jean said, kissing him again. The game had been fun, but Jean had never been so happy to lose.

[theangriestpea]

Crowned : The War Table

Summary: In order to get back at his brother, Jughead decides to mess up the one thing he's ordered everyone to not touch: His precious war table.<ao3> <kink masterlist> <crowned masterlist>

Pairing: Jughead Jones x OC ; minor Sweet Pea x OC

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1.7k+

Warnings: Smut, Oral sex, Vaginal sex, Slight choking

A/N: This was request ages ago by @the-gargoyle-queen​ and @southside-vixen​. Finally getting around to it after at least six months. This is for the mirror square on my @riverdalebingo​ card. I probably won't complete the card by the deadline. I have eleven more prompts and I just don't see myself being able to write that many oneshots by the end of June. Plus I go back to work the week after next which will bring everything to a screeching halt. I will try to update at least twice a month, but that may just not be possible with everything going on.

“Jug, I don’t understand why you had to pull me away from my meeting. It’s important that I get the funding for the food banks sorted out before-” Queen Lily stopped as her husband halted in front of the dreaded war room. Inside was the infamous war table that Sweet Pea had set up with an elaborate map and an army of mini figurines to sort out strategy and combat. Everything was placed in a certain way and was absolutely not to be touched by anyone but him.

The king smirked at his wife, deviousness glinting in his blue eyes. “I owe Sweet Pea a little...pay back.” He said wistfully. “And I finally found a great way to do it.”

She gave him a confused look, “And that involves me how? Really, Juggie, you pulled me away for some petty-”

“We’re fucking on the war table.” He said, cutting her off with a shit-eating grin.

Lily was silent for a moment. While she did enjoy sex with him in inopportune places, she wasn’t totally sold on ditching important work to do it. “But the food banks-”

“I signed off on emergency funding this morning, they’ll be fine for today.” Jughead said, reassuring her. “The kingdom has been fed, so stop worrying. Did you forget about the ceiling?”

“The mirror…” Her voice trailed off. Mirror sex was very much their thing and the war room had a beautifully large mirror on the ceiling. Sweet Pea insisted that it allowed him to see every angle of the battlefield and that it was a totally necessary expenditure. He didn’t have to really convince Jughead of it, as his own personal usage of mirrors immediately came to mind and he agreed to the renovation immediately.

Jughead was grinning as he unlocked the door (Sweet Pea had installed a lock after his wife kept screwing with things just to piss him off) and opened it. He led Lily inside and cut on the lights. “That’s right, the mirror.” Jughead said smugly, closing the door behind her.

Lily was looking at her reflection in the mirror, a look of wonder of her face. “This is such a great idea...Why have we not done this before?”

“Because he hadn’t pissed me off enough before to ruin his ‘work’.” Jughead said, shrugging. “So what do you say?” He asked, putting his hands on her hips and bringing her back against his chest. “Want to?”

She couldn’t help the excited giggle that left her. “Yes! God, yes!” He laughed in response, walking her over to the table in question.

“Then take off your clothes, your highness.” He whispered huskily into her ear before nipping at it playfully. Lily turned around in his arms and slowly took off her dress, unzipping it from the side and letting it fall off her shoulders and hips. It pooled to the floor and she let it sit there, making quick work of her bra and underwear.

Jughead licked his lips, a hungry look on his face as he hoisted her onto the table. Immediately Lily was knocking over painted pewter figures, shoving them all out of the way in order to make room for her body. The thought of how angry this was going to make her brother-in-law sent a thrill down her spine. She could already hear him screaming, pinning the blame on his wife somehow.

“Does my sister know about this?” She asked as Jughead began to kiss her thighs. He pushed her chest to urge her to lay back. She moved more figures out of the way and relaxed against the resin table, looking up at her reflection with a worried look.

“She does.” Jughead said between pecks of his lips, “And she’s well prepared.” He added as he spread her legs apart. Lily took in a sharp intake of air as his lips pressed against her clit in a brief but hard kiss.

His arms wrapped around her thighs, anchoring her in place as he licked a stripe up her slit. Her back arched, head falling back as she let out a soft moan. Jughead repeated the action before teasing the entrance of her cunt with his tongue, swirling it around quickly, flicking in and out before his mouth trailed north to her clit.

He latched on, sucking in juncture with his probing tongue. Lily began to quake on the table, shaking with the feeling of ecstasy that was flooding through her. His grip on her thighs tightened to keep her from kicking him out of the way like she enjoyed doing whenever she got overwhelmed.

Lily whined at him, the need to have something inside of her wet pussy was almost unbearable. A finger, a tongue, anything at this point. The hollow feeling combined with the sensation of him working her clit over was maddening. Despite her impending orgasm, she still felt incredibly desperate for more.

Jughead knew what she wanted and was purposefully denying it. He pulled away for a moment, “Watch yourself, my queen.” He ordered before going back. Lily looked up, locking eyes with her reflection as she watched herself jerk, trying to break free from him even though she knew she was not strong enough to.

She watched her face contort with every moan, her body twist for freedom as she climbed higher and higher. The tension in her abdomen broke as she came, watching through blurred vision as she whimpered and laid flat back on the table. Every touch of his tongue caused her to flinch, his cleaning licks keeping her spent form in overdrive.

Jughead stood, unbuckling his pants before pushing them off his hips along with his boxer briefs. “Don’t take your eyes off yourself.” He ordered. “I want you to watch me fuck you.”

Lily swallowed as she kept her gaze upward. Jughead moved her so that her hips were slightly hanging off the table. It had been a while since he had taken such a firm command over her. While they both switched roles, he had seemed to be needing to sub more often than not. She figured it had to do with work and having to rule over everyone. It was nice to have him back in the saddle again.

Her kegels clenched with anticipation. The need to be full of nothing but him causing more wetness to build within her aching pussy. “Jug,” She whimpered helplessly as he took his sweet time. She dared to look at him however his eyes narrowed into the glare. Lily quickly looked back up at her reflection once more. “I need it, please!’ She said desperately.

Jughead teased her with the head of his penis, barely pressing it inside of her slick hole. He enjoyed watching her squirm and pant, the need for him showing on every inch of her body. A proud smirk overcame him, knowing that he was the only one that could reduce her to such a state.

Then with one broad motion of his hips, he pushed all the way inside of her so fast that she cried out his name in surprise. He didn’t stop once inside, choosing to pull out and start over again. After every thrust forward he nearly pulled all the way out before repeating, rocking the table as she mewled for him on repeat.

He pressed a thumb to her clit, running circles around it as she practically sobbed from the stimulus. She watched him rail into her, her breasts bouncing in rhythm to his thrusts. The way her lips moved with every moan. The dazed look on her face as she demanded more.

Who was he to disregard his queen? Jughead moved his hips and thumb faster, free hand moving to grab the base of her throat. He fucked without care for who could hear them outside, drunk on the sight of her getting off to her own reflection. He dared to look up, watching them both at an entirely new angle. Seeing her from above was even more intoxicating, and what started as a brief glance turned into an enraptured stare.

“Please,” She grappled with his wrist, holding onto it as she had nothing else to grab hold of. “Jug, please-!” He increased the speed of his thumb, tightening the circles around her clit as he put more force into his thrusts. Moments later Lily was wailing with the force of her second climax, screaming for him as her vision blurred with bright blinding shapes and radio static.

Jughead grunting, grabbing both sides of her hips to ride her out before releasing himself deep within her. He looked down at her, leaning over to brush some of the stray tears that had escaped her eyes. He allowed himself to soften inside of her, enjoying her warmth and the closeness as he pulled her into a sitting position in order to hold her trembling form to his.

“We better go.” He murmured to her and she let out a whine of protest. “Before someone tells the prince.” He added teasingly as he pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’ll help you get dressed.”

After dressing her and himself, Jughead picked her up as one would a bride and carried her into their grand bedroom. “I think you earned yourself a nap, your highness.” He said teasingly as she grumbled back an incoherent response, still dazed from the intense set of orgasms. He laid her onto the bed and kissed her goodbye before returning to his royal duties.

An hour later, Sweet Pea walked into the war room, noticing that the door was left unlocked. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he turned on the lights and headed towards the table. His fury bloomed hot as he saw the pieces of his army strewn about carelessly. “Shanna!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, knowing that his wife must have been the culprit. No one else ever messed with his things.

The former princess poked her head through the door, a wicked grin on her face. “Poor Pea, someone played with his toys when he wasn’t watching.”

He turned and began to storm towards her, however she darted off in a fit of giggles as they started a new came of cat and mouse.

[notiimu]

Hunger

“Joël M. Lambert.” The doctor’s words echoed in the otherwise quiet doctor’s office. “Yes sir.” The man in front of the doctor spoke. The man looked frail. He had a thin frame and unusually silky hair. The man’s eyes were slightly bloodshot and he was sweating quite heavily. The doctor looked back to his documents as he spoke again. “What brings you here?”

The man swallowed before he began to talk again. “I’m... Hungry. Constantly.” He explained. “No matter how much I eat, I keep on being hungry.” The doctor jotted down the man’s words. “Could you describe your eating habits?” The doctor continued. The man, Joël, stayed quiet for a while, as if he was ashamed of what he was about to tell. “I eat a lot.” He started, “I have six big meals a day and I snack a lot during the day. It just doesn’t satisfy me like it should.” Joël looked down in shame. The doctor just took notes. “That sounds like an odd case...” He muttered before facing the frail man in front of him again. “We’re going to have to run some tests on you so we can find out what causes this.” He explained, “We’ll get your blood drawn today, but I would like to keep you here for a while so we can take some scans and test your thyroid.” The doctor explained. Joël, relieved, thanked the doctor. Maybe now he would finally find out what caused this nagging hunger! The doctor gave him directions to where he could get his blood drawn before sending him on his way. “I’ll see you back tomorrow.” They shook hands before they parted ways. The doctor moving on to the next patient, and Joël to the next doctor.

 The day after, Joël returned to the hospital. He met with his doctor again, who took him to his room. “This is where you’ll be staying for now.” The doctor explained him. “We’ll do our best to find out what’s bothering you as soon as possible.” This assured Joël, who thanked the doctor before entering his room. The room was small, but big enough to at least fit four beds and a few lockers. The only problem Joël saw was the lack of anything to store food in. But it was a hospital, after all. They would probably bring it to him, right? “Make yourself at home for now, We’ve scheduled a thorough examination in an hour.” With those words, the doctor left Joël in his room. Joël went to unpack his stuff in the locker assigned to him, looking forward to the examination as well as wondering if he would get any nice roommates. It would be a little lonely to be here all by himself, after all. The room suddenly filled with a loud rumbling noise. Ah, there it was, the hunger. Joël’s jaws started making a swallowing motion and he started to belch noisily. He needed food, he thought. An hour passed, and the doctor has returned to Joël’s room to escort him to the examination room. When he opened the door, he saw the state Joël was in. He was sweaty, drooling and looking for food. The room smelled heavily of body odor, which was logical considering how much the patient was sweating. The doctor cleared his throat, alerting the frail man of his presence. He looked his way, wiping some drool off his chin. “Can I perhaps eat something before the examination?” He asked calmly. The doctor looked at Joël in silence for a bit before he nodded. “I’ll ask the nurse to bring you some food there.” He told him. This was an unusual request, but they couldn’t have the patient act the way he was during the entire examination. “For now, please, follow me.” Joël obeyed, following the doctor calmly as he kept making swallowing motions as they went.

 There were two doctors waiting on them in the examination room. The two greeted the other doctor and their patient. As they began examination, the room filled up with the stench of sweat. Though it didn’t bother the two doctors examining Joël, the other doctor could barely stand it. The doctors focused mostly on the movement of the jaw and the patient’s swollen throat. “For how long have you had these complaints?” One of the doctors asked. Joël shrugged. “Since I was a small child, I think.” He explained. “My mother always complained about my appetite.” He chuckled. The other doctor wrote his response down. “By the time I was sixteen, I could eat a meal meant for six people and still not be satisfied.” He added.  As they went on with their examination, they found Joël was underweight, but had a lot of loose skin around his waist. “Was there a period in your life where you were overweight?” One of the doctors asked. “No.” Joël responded, “I have always been on the skinny side.” The doctors wrote it down. “Any digestive issues?” The other asked. This question seemed to make the skinny man rather uncomfortable. “Yes.” He responded eventually. “I am able to eat about anything, even non-edible things, without any issue.” He looked down. “And, well...” The patient fiddled with his hands and cleared his throat. “I got a chronic case of the runs.” He muttered. The doctors both nodded as they wrote it down. The frail man looked up in excitement when a nurse came in with food. Though it was a full meal for a grown adult, Joël found the amount to be a bit underwhelming. The doctors took this as their que to leave the room for a while and discuss.

 “I suspect Grave’s disease.” The first doctor spoke. “No, I don’t think it is. His diet is pretty abnormal.” The other doctor responded. “Not to mention he only checks two of the boxes for that.” The first doctor sighed and agreed. “Whatever it is, it’s most definitely hyperthyroidism. I want to run some blood tests.” “I agree. I think we should-“ Their discussion was cut short by the nurse, who came back outside, gagging. When asked what’s wrong, she looked at them with wide eyes. “It smells absolutely rancid in there.” She explained. “I don’t know what it is, but that man smells horrible.” The doctors exchanged looks before going back inside. As described, they were hit with a foul stench the moment they opened the door. They were surprised to find Joël having already finished his meal. “It might be a little rude to ask, but is there more?” He asked innocently. One of the doctors started speaking again, trying not to gag. “I think we gathered enough information for today.” The doctor managed to speak. Joël was escorted back to his room quickly before the examination room would be cleaned. The patient obviously was embarrassed by the ordeal, but didn’t want to speak up.

 After a week of research, examining and testing, the hospital had decided to put Joël on a controlled diet. His food intake would be reduced to 5 meals and two snacks a day, and slowly become less and less, until he would eventually go down to a healthy 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. As they progressed this, Joël started to show odd behaviors. Sometimes, he would sneak out of his room to go rummage through the trash, steal food from the cafeteria and sometimes eat from the plants that stood around the hall. The doctors could tell Joël wasn’t taking the treatment well, and decided they needed to take action. “It’s his thyroid. He needs medication.” One of the doctors suggested. “If it was just his thyroid, it wouldn’t explain the stench and the loose skin.” The other argued. Truly, the doctors were lost on what to do at this point. For now, they decided to give Joël medication to see how that would work for him. If they tackled one issue, it might just be easier to take on the other issues.

 The doctor, who had been on this case since the beginning, was assigned to bring Joël his first dose of the medication. Both to explain the treatment as well as see if he would even take it. The doctor opened the door after knocking, only to see the patient picking his teeth. He stood by the bin, which made the doctor assume he had been rummaging through the trash again. “Joël, I have good news for you.” He started. “You’re taking me off the diet?” Joël asked, hopeful. “No, but we do have these pills here.” The doctor showed Joël a bottle of pills, to great and clearly visible disappointment of the man. “I’m sorry, Joël, but the diet is necessary to help you recover your weight at a regular pace once we stabilize your thyroid.” The thin man looked down, understanding the reasoning, but being disappointed nonetheless. “If I take those pills, the hungry feeling will go away, right?” He asked. “Sort of.” The doctor responded. “They help your thyroid make the right amount of hormones again, so you won’t feel hungry all the time anymore.” The doctor explained as his patient listened carefully. “However, you will still feel hungry when you need to, like any healthy person.” Joël nodded, understanding. “I hope so. I’ve been so hungry, it’s almost unbearable.” He explained his doctor, who was glancing over at the trash can. “Have you been eating from there again? You were picking your teeth next to it when I came in.” The doctor asked. The bin was almost empty, except for what seemed to be a few tissues and some hair. “Oh, that. Well, you guys have a mouse problem. Or, well, had. You had one.” The frail man rubbed the back of his neck. “I was hungry and wasn’t thinking, so I took care of it.” The doctor looked back at his patient in horror. “You ATE mice?” He asked in shock. “Well, how else would I have done it?” The man responded. “Alright, you’re coming with me.” The doctor sighed. He had to get his patient checked again.

 Once again declared free of parasites, Joël was put back in his room. The hunger was slowly getting to him over time, as the pills didn’t seem to work for him and his diet was still very restricted. The constant swallowing motion of his throat, the belching and the chewing motions without anything to chew, started to hurt the young man. His teeth got damaged from all the grinding and the excessive drooling had left him feeling dehydrated. His room reeked bad enough for people to no longer want to come in, leaving Joël to feel isolated. He started contemplating if staying here was such a good idea after all. Surely, the doctors tried, but the treatment made him feel like he was going crazy. Joël spent the next days trying to chase whatever found itself in his room to eat, begging the doctors and nurses for more food, which he was denied. Still taken over by hunger, the frail man decided he needed to take drastic measures as he felt like he could no longer take the state he was in. He opened the door, which only was still unlocked so he could leave to go to the toilet, and went to the front desk, his eyes darting left and right, completely bloodshot as he walked the hallway, drooling as he went.

 “I want to quit my treatment.” The thin man demanded once at the desk. The hospital worker raised an eyebrow. “May I have your name?” She asked, half interested. “Joël Maxim Lambert.” The man responded as he wiped the drool from his face. “Date of birth?” The woman asked, typing in his name. “October 11th, 1993.” He managed to speak in between swallowing. “Let’s see... Joël Lambert... You’re here for extended research on your condition, it says.” The woman read out loud, pressing a button under her desk. “Yes, I am.” The young man responded. “I want to quit it. It’s done nothing for me other than make my issues worse.” He explained. “Anything you could possibly do for me?” His tone was desperate. The woman just shook her head as three large men appeared behind Joël. “You have to stay here until you’re discharged by the doctors. I can’t do much for you. I’m sorry.” The woman informed him. “Sorry sir, but you need to go back to your room.” One of the large men spoke. “No. No, I’m not going back!” Joël spoke, still drooling heavily as he grinded his teeth in a chewing motion. Not listening to the fragile looking man, the three men restrained the fighting patient and carried him back to his room.

 It’s been three days since Joël tried to escape his personal torture, as he liked to call it. The door was now locked and he was given a port-a-potty since his access to a regular toilet was denied. The other three beds in his room were removed to prevent him from eating them. As weird as it sounds, he had tried it. Now, with his lacking diet, he had resorted to eating the only thing he could. Gross, but to him, necessary. Though the food he’d eat would still be enough for two average people to survive, for him, it wasn’t enough. Here he was, a man in his mid-twenties, no family to contact, out of a job, literally eating his own shit. God, he hated it here. He jolted up when he heard the door unlock and open. The doctor stood there with an unfamiliar man. “Joël, I’d like you to meet Dr. Dubois. He’s a psychiatrist.” Joël wiped some drool off his chin with his left hand before shaking the other man’s hand with his right hand. “Hello there, I heard it wasn’t going too well with you, so I came to have a talk.” Dr. Dubois told Joël, who seemed thankful to finally have some human contact for a while. “Would you like to talk here, or would you like to come to my office to talk?” He then suggested. The thin man sighed with a smile. “It’s cause it smells here, huh?” He asked the psychiatrist, who shrugged in response. “Let’s do it in your office then.” He responded, just wanting to get out of this room for a bit.

 “So, why don’t we start with telling something about yourself?” Dr. Dubois asked. The frail looking man nodded in response, clearing his throat. “Well, I’m Joël Lambert, I’m 25 years old and I come from France. I moved not too far from here in 2016.” He explained. “You’ve only lived here for two years, then?” Joël nodded in response. “My parents wanted me out as quick as possible. I made some money doing some shows on the internet and I used it to move here.” “What kind of shows?” Dr. Dubois asked, jotting down the conversation on his notepad as they went. “Me stuffing my face with food, mostly. I have an unusual appetite, which is why I’m here in the first place.” The psychiatrist wrote it all down. “How do you like it here?” He then asked. Joël fell silent, looking offended at the question. “Gee, they locked me up and are basically starving me, I haven’t heard anything of a treatment for the past two weeks and my hunger is driving me nuts. Obviously I must love it here.” He responded sarcastically. “And how does that make you feel?” Dr. Dubois added. The other man just huffed. “It makes me feel forgotten. I want to be treated for my hunger and I’m fairly sure a simple diet is not going to work.” He crossed his arms. “They said it’s my thyroid, but they have stopped giving me the pills they prescribed me because they fear I might overdose.” The other man nodded, writing it all down. “I think I understand it now.” He spoke as he nodded. “Would you like to stop your treatment?” That question sparked joy to Joël, whose eyes lit up as he heard it. “Yes! Are you able to help me with that?” He exclaimed excitedly. “I can give it a try. I can get more done than a patient, but I’m not promising you anything yet.” Dr. Dubois responded. “Thank you! Thank you so much!” Joël threw himself onto the larger man in front of him, hugging him gleefully. Dr. Dubois was caught off guard, not noticing the patient had snatched his keycard. He eventually managed to pry the thin man off of him. “I’ll do my best for you.” He reassured him. Afterwards, the two sat together for a while to talk about his mental state a bit more until the psychiatrist was out of time and Joël had to return to his room.

 Some days passed, and Joël had managed to keep the keycard hidden. Hopefully, they haven’t disabled the card yet, as this might just be his way to finally not be hungry for a night. All it took was negligence from one of the staff members, and Joël was out. Stupidly, one of the cleaners forgot to lock the door back up after cleaning the patient’s room. This, he felt, was his que. At a little past midnight, he snuck out of his room, keycard in hand. It was now that he was thankful for both his light frame and the loose skin, as the first made sneaking around easier, and the latter made hiding the keycard easy. Eventually, Joël reached the staff room and stole a spare key to his room. If they didn’t suspect him even being able to get out, they had no reason to expect he was the one who had the key. From there, the man thought about what to do next. He couldn’t raid the canteen, that was too obvious and the area was secured. He looked around, seeing another door that lead somewhere else. He approached the door, curious to what was inside. After opening the door with the key card, het was met by a flight of stairs. He climbed down to be met by a short hallway with only two doors. One was an elevator door, and the other one was a door which seemed to lead to a room. He approached it, opening the door with the key card to see what was inside.

 Joël found himself in the middle of a morgue. At first it slightly disturbed him, but what disturbed him more was the thought of laying here himself one day if he didn’t take measures into his own hands regarding his diet. Between this and eating his own shit until he died, he would much rather have any nutrients left by those that wouldn’t need it anymore anyway. He took a walk around the morgue, trying to see if there was anything that wouldn’t be suspicious if it were to be missing. Eventually, he spotted a bin labelled “Bio waste”. He carefully opened it, being met by both a slight stench and a bunch of fresh and almost fresh amputated limbs and organs, discarded to be incinerated later on. Kinda creepy, he thought, but it would probably taste better than his own feces. After making sure no one was around, he took a trash bag from one of the drawers and stuffed it with some limbs and organs. After filling it halfway, he tied it shut to make sure he could hide it. It might not be much food-wise, but it was more and better than what he had. Now to get back to his room and start feasting in peace.

 The thin man managed to go undetected for the night, now feasting on his newly acquired midnight snack. The taste of flesh was... Nice. For a change, he thought. Though he still found the meat rather dry, as it was mostly drained from the blood that used to be in it. Nevertheless, he munched away happily, stuffing his face with his new favourite snack as he left nothing but the bones. Finally, he felt close to satisfied for the first time since he was put on the diet. He stuffed the bones back into the bag, which he then hid under his mattress to dispose of on his next trip. He repeated his new found snack run every night for the next two weeks, until the doctor finally started a new way of treatment.

 “After some discussion with your psychiatrist as well as with some other medical professionals, I have decided to add some more food to your diet.” The doctor announced. Joël was indifferent about the announcement, both because he had become desensitized about eating human meat over the past week and didn’t mind it at all anymore, actually, he was craving the taste right now, as well as the fact all he wanted was to get out of here. But he thought some extra food was always a nice addition. “On top of that,” The doctor continued, “We’ve decided to prescribe you a medication cocktail of mood stabilizers and antidepressant to help you cope.” He handed the still very thin man the bottle of pills as he explained how to take them. At last, his treatment would continue. Through his swallowing and chewing motion, he thanked the doctor. After all, he might actually start having a life if this treatment helped! The first two days went well, but Joël started having bad, intrusive thoughts. Sometimes, he started doing things he didn’t even realize he was doing, like kicking the door or hitting the walls whilst blankly staring ahead. The doctors started adjusting his medication, which didn’t seem to work. Joël started scratching at his face and taking even more from the morgue at night. No longer satisfied with just the bio waste bin, which was also thinning out now, he turned to the bodies laying in the morgue themselves. First, he just ate parts he thought that could be missed, then it became more, eventually getting to the point it no longer could be missed. With his mental state deteriorating and his hunger growing, Joël started to feel as if he was starting to lose control of himself, his actions and his thoughts. He longed for more. He longed to eat and to not feel this nagging hunger anymore. This hospital was restraining him, he felt.

 At some point, Joël had developed a taste for the fresher meat. His taste, in his words, refined to long for the juices and blood that the fresh meat provided. His drooling and swallowing motions became worse every time he’s had it, longing for more. The day old meat started to become less and less satisfying. He needed something more fresh. Something he could bring with him easily so no one would notice. But it had to be fresh. He needed it to be fresh. One day, he’ll get his satisfaction. One day, his hunger will be gone. Patience... He needed to be patient.

 After god knows how long on the medication cocktail and endless trips to the morgue, he overheard a conversation between his psychiatrist and doctor. They saw no other option but to lock him up, they said, having noticed his mental health spiraling to an all-time low, along with the scarring caused from scratching at his face. It was then Joël saw no other option. He had to escape that night. Flee this hellhole that pretended to help people! He grinded his teeth as he drooled, his long, ginger hair hanging in his face, sticking to it here and there thanks to the drool and blood on his face. He didn’t move a muscle until his next meal, only to take on that same position again. The once desperate, shy and friendly Joël he once was seemed to have completely disappeared and has made way for a bitter, inconsiderate man driven by hunger and a broken mind. He waited until nightfall before he finally stood up again, now covered in sweat and his own saliva, his face still red and bloody from all the scratching. He wiped his wet hair out of his wet, sweaty face and unlocked his door. The hungry man made his way down the hallway one last time, not bothering to clean up the bones from his last trip to the morgue this time. He craved it. Food. Meat. Hunger... He felt nothing else but hunger and the desire to leave this confined space. Oh, how he hated not being able to leave this tiny room for so long. His teeth grinded together as he scanned the area, skipping the morgue this time. He didn’t want any more of that rotten stuff! He wanted something fresh. He demanded something fresh! He made his way to the floor below, leaving a trail of drool as he went. He looked around, finding a sign that pleased him. He smirked as he followed the arrows, preparing himself for a nice last meal before finally leaving this wretched place.

 The door opened easily with the keycard. There, in front of him, lay multiple new born children. He looked around, seeing the nurse fast asleep. He decided to let her live for now. He’d have a hard time taking her with him, after all, and he’d like to enjoy his meal in peace, away from the place that caused him all this pain in the first place. He swiftly left the place with two infants, quietly escaping the hospital using the fire escape exit. Feeling the fresh air on his skin for the first time again, he smirked, drooling over the two infants who promptly started wailing. “Shhh... Hush now, little ones...” Joël spoke, his voice soft and cracking. He wasn’t crying, however. He was almost... Laughing. “Hush now... Soon you can go back to sleep...”

   We’re interrupting the regular program to warn all citizens of an escaped mental patient by the name of Joël Maxim Lambert. This man is the main suspect in the current events of the murder cases as of late. If you see this man, do not approach him, do not attempt to speak to him and avoid any contact with the man. Contact your authorities immediately and relocate to a safe location. This man is said to have cannibalistic tendencies and allegedly kidnapped two young infants from the hospital in [REDACTED], authorities say. If you are in this area, lock your doors and windows at night and avoid low populated places at all cost. We thank you for your cooperation.

[jungkookiebus]

Steamy.

Genre: college au, smut Word count: 2k Pairing: college!Jungkook x reader Warnings: cunnilingus 

Summary: You’re roommates with your older brother, Jimin, who is having some of his friends over and he’s strictly forbade you from hanging out with them; he has a feeling you like one of his friends and he’s avoiding having your presence in the home. Unfortunately for him and good for you, that person in question accidentally walks in on you in your bath.

“NO! Absolutely not!” Jimin fumed for about the fifth time today. He was seriously regretting allowing you to move in with him when you had started college. He was in his sophomore year and still trying to “establish” himself, or so he had been telling you. He was having some friends over and there was one you had your eyes on; Jeon Jungkook. He had been in your communications class and you had been dying to get to know him and when you found out Jimin befriended him your luck had soared; or so you thought. Your older brother loved you very much, but when it came to you liking any of his friends, he wanted to punch you in the face. When you were a sophomore in high school you had been obsessed with one of his older junior friends and made his life a living nightmare that year. When you found out that guy had slept with your best friend you had sworn off men. Until now. Jimin was now having flashbacks to how annoying you were in high school.

“I know what you’re trying to do, ______,” he said while pointing a pair of tongs at you.  

“You have no idea what I’m trying to do,” you said indignantly.

“You like one of my friends, I feel it.” His eyes reduced to slits as he stared at you. “Which one is it? Taehyung? Namjoon? Jungkook? Yoongi? Who, ______?”

You made sure to keep a straight face as he listed off the names even though your heart skipped a beat as he said Jungkook.

“Fine, if you won’t tell me so be it, but you’re staying on your side of the house. Plus, these guys are all older than you.”

“By a year or two,” you said rolling your eyes, “and I don’t have anything to do tonight please let me hang out with you.”

“No. I’m cooking for you so you’ll have something to eat, but other than that stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.”

“Bathroom’s on my end,” you muttered.

“If you have to shit you don’t need to come in here then.”

“Fine. Asshole,” you said while grabbing the freshly made hamburger he had set in front of you. You couldn’t be too terribly mad when he had at least cooked a homemade meal for you. “Have fun.”

You trudged off to your room and decided that you might as well catch up on some shows you had been meaning to watch.

You could hear about an hour later as all the boys started to show up as a cacophony of laughter started in the kitchen. You pressed your ear against the door to catch the sound of Jungkook’s voice.

“Ya!” you finally heard him. “Jimin you have such a nice place! Never knew you could decorate so nicely.”

“Ha,” you said to yourself, “jokes on him it was me who picked out the furniture.” This place looked like a pig pen when you moved in. The next words you heard had you fuming.

“Yea, well, I felt like it needed an update, so I went down to the Container Store and bought a bunch of stuff with my tax return.”

You didn’t mean for your hand to hit your door, but it was a good substitute for Jimin’s face in that moment. The laughter in the kitchen died down.

“You guys heard that?” you heard an unfamiliar voice ask.

Great, Jimin was probably going to go to “check it out” in a second and come hand your ass to you, but he never did. The breath you were holding came out slowly as you heard conversation pick back up again. Jimin was an ass. He could at least acknowledge that he had a sister.

About thirty minutes later when the surround sound was blasting rapid gunfire of some video game you thought it safe to sneak out to the bathroom to bathe. You had just turned the bathroom into a steamy sauna and settled into the bathtub when the knob on the door turned. Before you could react, a very stunned Jungkook was peering through the steam at you. You, in turn, were also very stunned and staring at his white shirt that was now growing damp due to the insane amount of hot water you filled the tub with that filled the room with condensation.

“______?” he whispered.

“Oh, shit!” you said getting your wits about you. You grabbed the towel you had thrown on the floor to hold it across your chest as best as you could. “Wait, did you just say my name?”

“We had communications together.” He said it so matter-of-factly that you almost didn’t know what to say.

“That’s absolutely correct,” you said. You wanted to punch yourself in the face. That’s absolutely correct? What an asshole.

“Do you know Jimin?”

Why wasn’t he leaving the bathroom by now? Not only was your skin flushed red from the hot water, but also due to the fact that he was letting more of the steam out and you were becoming more exposed.

“He’s my brother.”

“Fuck you.”

“Excuse me, what?”

Jungkook was flustered now. “I’m so sorry! That was a knee jerk reaction I have no idea why I said that! I was surprised! I didn’t even know Jimin had a sister!”

“Figures,” you said shifting in the tub a little more.

“Why aren’t you out there with us?”

“I’m not allowed.”

He looked at you quizzically.

“I was expressly told to stay out of the way.”

“Why?”

“Who wants their annoying little sister around their friends?”

“You’re not annoying.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I had class with you.”

“That’s hardly a ‘I know you’ friendship, Jungkook.”

He beamed at you then. “So you know me.”

“As you said, we had communications together.”

“With about fifty other people. That was a big class.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I also saw you at Hobi’s party a few months ago.”

You pulled the towel towards you more as you stood, letting the end dip in the water as you wrapped it around yourself. “You know what? I’m gonna let you use the bathroom. I’ll finish getting ready for bed later.” You stepped out of the tub and attempted to push past Jungkook when he grabbed your arm.

Blood rushed in your ears and you tried to even your breathing. The sounds of gunfire and shouting from the living room grew louder. No one seemed none the wiser to what was happening down the hallway and you suddenly felt trapped. “Where are you going?”

“You have to use the bathroom.”

He leant over and a chill ran through your body as his lips brushed against the shell of your ear.

“You know, I remember the exact outfit you wore that night. You had on that tight mini skirt with those black heels. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night.”

You swallowed thickly and gripped the towel tighter to your body. You had to be dreaming this was happening. Maybe you had turned on the water just a little too hot and you had started to hallucinate because there was no way this could be happening.

“I-I didn’t know you noticed me,” you said softly looking up at him. His face held all the innocence it always did, but his eyes were telling a different story. You saw his pupils dilate as soon as you made eye contact and before you could react, he was closing the door behind him and pushing you up against the wall, his lips meeting yours.

“I noticed you every time I saw you,” he said as he kissed along your jaw and down your neck. “You think I sat outside of the building before class because I liked getting there early?”

You gripped the towel tighter, not knowing what to do. He bit down on the skin at the base of your neck causing you gasp and moan. He ran his tongue along your collarbone before he was placing a tentative touch to your hand that was grasping the towel.

“I wanted to see you, but I was always too fucking scared to talk to you.”

His gentle touch caused your hand to relax and you allowed him to pull the towel away and let it fall to the floor. You heard his intake of breath as his eyes trailed down your body.

“You’re just as beautiful as I imagined. Are you okay?”

You nodded. “I’m just trying to figure out if this is really happening.”

This time he gently grabbed both sides of your face, letting his thumbs brush along your cheeks as he kissed you slowly. More shouts came from the living room and no one seemed to notice that Jungkook was still gone. He let one of his hands glide down past your shoulder to your breast where he pinched your nipple between his fingers. Your body reacted immediately, arching into his touch as you moaned into the kiss.

“I wish I had more time,” he panted against your lips. “Can I go down on you?”

You felt your core clench around nothing at the aspect of him touching you. You whispered, “Please.”

He pecked your lips one last time before dropping to his knees in one fluid movement. He used his thumbs to pull your lips apart, exposing your clit to him. He wasted no time in running his tongue up your slit and over your clit causing your head to fall back against the wall. He pulled away to pop two fingers into his mouth before bringing them back to your clit, lying them flat against it, and rubbing rapidly to get you where he wanted you faster. Your hands grasped in the air trying to find purchase; they both landed squarely on his shoulders and you felt the muscles rippling and shifting in the one that was using most of his strength to get you off. He stopped suddenly to bring the same set of fingers back along your slit before curling them up inside of you. You clenched and spasmed around him as he found what he was looking for.

“There it is,” he whispered before bringing his mouth back to your clit again.

God he was good and you felt jealous of every other girl who got to experience this for two seconds before he was bringing you back to the present with a harsh suck to your clit. The sounds coming from him were lewd as his hand worked in and out of you at a pace you had never experienced before as his tongue flicked rapidly over your clit. He didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed as he sucked in the bit of drool that was escaping his mouth that was started to mix with your arousal as well. He shook his head as he buried his head farther into your cunt and started to hit your g-spot at a bruising pace with his fingers. Your vision started to cloud as felt the pressure build inside of you. Your mind focused on his tongue and hands and before you knew it you were coming so hard your legs started to shake and you felt his strong arms wrap around your thighs as he rested his head against your stomach. You held on to his shoulders as spasms continued to wave through your body. Both of you were still breathing heavily when he spoke.

“Is it okay for me to stand up?”

You laughed. “Yes, thank you for holding me or I would have hit the tile.”

“I know,” he said standing. “You came really hard.”

“I don’t think anyone has ever done that before.”

“I’d love to do it again,” he said as he wiped his mouth of your arousal.

“If you can do that with your mouth, then you might actually kill me with anything else.”

His face flushed deeply, and you thought it was cute that he was now shy after what had just happened.

“Well, can I take you on a date first?”

“Yes but know that Jimin will kill both of us.”

“Who cares what Jimin thinks.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to you. “Put your number in.”

As soon as you hit save you heard a shout from the living room. “YO JUNGKOOK YOU TAKING SHIT?!”

Jungkook quickly kissed you before saying, “I’ll text you.”

He darted out of the door while shouting in turn, “YEA WHAT OF IT?”

[nvyas9]

People will experience some sleepless nights and sleep problems several times in their lifetime. It’s fairly common for students studying for exams or busy individuals who lose themselves in their work during projects. Suffering constantly from lack of sleep, on the other hand, is a different story. Insomnia or sleep deprivation can cause other health problems in the long run. Here is the to-do list of suggestions and ways on how to fall asleep better:

 

1. Always Sleep on Your Right Side

Which side of your body do you favor when you fall asleep? According to experts, it’s better to turn to your right side for a good night’s sleep. Why? This is because your heart is on the left side and the liver is on the right side. Many people have either a fatty liver or a congested liver. When you sleep on your left side, the weight of the liver can press on the heart. 

It’s much better if the heart is sitting on top of the liver, which occurs when you’re on your right side. You’ll breathe and sleep better this way.

 

2. Slow Down Your Breathing

Focus on your breathing to get a good night’s sleep. When your adrenals are overstressed, the breathing is different. The exhalation is shorter than the inhalation. Here’s how you can slow your breathing to release excess adrenaline:

Sync your breathing with an equal amount of inhalations and exhalations –  about 4-5 seconds each. Slow down the counting as you reach four or five while breathing in. Breathe in, one-two-three-four, and then pause for a few seconds.Then, breathe out, one-two-three-four.

You’re slowly breathing in and slowly breathing out – as you’re falling asleep. That really helps you fall asleep faster. Some people catch themselves holding their breath as they’re trying to sleep. This is a really good thing to focus on as you drift off. 

 

3. Go to Bed by 10:30 PM at Least or Maybe Even a Little Earlier

Here’s the problem: you miss out on your circadian rhythm when you go to bed past 10:30. What does this mean?

Circadian Rhythm Definition: Behavioral, mental, and physical changes in the body that follow a cycle in response to light and darkness, aka. sleep-wake cycle.

You might get tired around 9:30, and think, “Man, if I just went to bed now, I can sleep,” but then suddenly you wake up  – that’s what I’m talking about. Get to bed by 10:30 PM because the optimum time of that circadian wave is about 10:45-11:00.

That’s when your body drifts off into a sleep mode. I consistently go to bed at that time and can doze off very fast, but if I go to bed around 12, I’ll be laying there for an hour.

 

4. Regulate Your Pulse Rate

If you ever go to bed and hear your pulse rate on the pillow, what that means is you’re deficient in potassium. If you’re deficient in potassium, your heart will beat louder, harder, and at a higher pulse rate. Normal pulse rate is 72, sometimes 65 or 60 (if you’re in better shape). What you may want to do for this is to eat more vegetables because you don’t have enough potassium in your body. The pulse rate is a good indicator of low potassium, and if you increase those vegetables, you’ll drift off to sleep better.

But really, what causes potassium deficiency are two things: 1) stress and anxiety for many years (stress depletes your potassium), and 2) sugar. Eat too much sugar and it will definitely deplete your potassium causing your pulse rate to go higher.

 

5. Use a Massage Tool

The massage tool I use before I go to bed is a tool I developed for my own body. I have information on how to use it so you can get some good ideas. I work on my neck points before I go to bed. I do my mid back points, and I do my adrenal points every night before I go to bed. It’s a really simple no-brainer. I take it on vacation wherever I go because it helps me get to sleep fast.

There are certain acupressure points you work on in your neck, and your adrenals will just turn things off so you will sleep a lot better. It helps pull stress out, but it’s kind of a do-it-yourself model. Depending on how big you are, you can use the really small knob, the medium one, or the large one. You just have to massage the points indicated above to help your body relax and ultimately, fall asleep or have a good night’s rest.

RELATED: High Pulse Rate and Sleep Quality

 

6. Visualize Happy Thoughts and Images

How to fall asleep and stay asleep can be achieved if you learn how to visualize happy thoughts and images, too. Upon lying in bed, instead of thinking about stressful thoughts, try thinking about positive things you look forward to or make you happy. This helps you feel peaceful and relaxed. A study showed that imagery distraction with instructions helped participants with insomnia fall asleep faster. The activity aimed to occupy the participants' minds with good thoughts rather than concerns and worries.

 

7. Try Reading

Reading is a healthy activity as it primarily sharpens your imagination. Aside from that, it can also aid you in relaxing and staying calm before going to bed. Reading may also help your mind separate stress from sleep time. It is important to take note though that healthy reading should be done with the paper book, not the electronic one. Books read from electronic devices produce a type of bright light that may lower the production of melatonin, a hormone that stimulates the sleep-wake cycle. 

 

8. Minimize Caffeine Intake

Most people might like drinking coffee, especially in the morning as it may help them feel awake, but caffeine can have negative effects on your sleep if consumed in high amounts. Because caffeine promotes alertness by preventing chemicals in the brain that trigger good sleep or encourage regular sleep cycle, this will make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. The effects of caffeine may vary from one person to another, though, so it's advisable you should not consume caffeine at least six hours prior to sleep.

 

9. Write Your Own Journal

Writing a journal is a fun and creative activity, especially for people who have a passion for writing or who have a lot of thoughts in mind. It helps people express what they think and remove the thoughts from their minds. Writing down happy and positive events that happened in the day may help calm the mind, resulting in better sleep. Try writing something in your journal for a few minutes before going to sleep.

 

10. Try Aromatherapy

One popular way to fall asleep easy and fast is through aromatherapy. Aromatherapy uses essential oils that promote sleep, such as lavender, chamomile, and jasmine. The primary reason aromatherapy is good for sleeping is it relaxes your senses, which aids in helping you fall asleep faster. You can put the essential oil in your room at a distance you can slightly smell its scent or mix some in your warm bath at night. You can even apply it to your pressure points but you need to use a carrier oil, like coconut oil, to combine it with as the essential oil is extremely concentrated, which can irritate your skin.

 

11. Take Sleep-Promoting Supplements

Taking sleep-promoting supplements is also another way to fall asleep when you can’t. Supplements work by either calming your brain or enhancing the hormones that regulate sleep. You can try my Sleep Aid supplement; it is not a sleeping pill but something that helps in calming your body and allowing you to sleep better at night. Its formula contains nutrients and herbs safe for the body. It has zero melatonin, too! You can take one capsule 30 minutes before bedtime.

 

Don't forget to download, save, or share this handy infographic for reference:

Knowing how to fall asleep faster will help your body work better toward wellness. Getting time in dreamland helps your body heal from the day’s work and reduces your accumulated stress levels.

Have you experienced sleepless nights? What’s your bedtime routine? Share your own tips on how to fall asleep fast in the comments section below!

[ketoanalystpro]

Would You Like to Know Exactly What to Eat to Lose Fat and Get Healthy Without Giving Up Your Favorite Foods or Starving Yourself?

If you're serious about achieving permanent fat loss and a complete health transformation while eating your favorite foods every meal…

I invite you to read this page.

Here’s The Deal:

In my opinion, the nutrition industry is hopelessly broken. Instead of helping people improve their health and overall physical appearance, the world is filled with myths, scams, and flat-out lies.

I mean, it’s obvious the current dietary guidelines don’t work. Just look at the stats. 71.6% of American adults aged 20 and above are overweight, of which more than half are obese![1]

Now, if you’re one of the millions of people who follow all the nutrition rules outlined by health and fitness “gurus” but still carry excess fat, it is not your fault!

The Truth Is:

No matter how genetically “doomed” you may think you are, and no matter how frustrated you may feel after trying and discarding many diets, you absolutely can have the lean and alluring body of your dreams.

You see, getting into fantastic shape isn't nearly as cruel as nutrition and fitness “gurus” want you to believe. In fact, if you avoid the four most common and catastrophic diet mistakes, shaping your dream figure is actually a simple process.

Do You Make These Four Common Diet Mistakes That Sabotage Your Health and Stall Fat Loss?

Mistake #1 ( Not being in a calorie deficit )

According to some “experts,” losing weight and keeping it off is all about controlling the types of food you eat.

They say particular foods are "fattening" because they pause fat burning and cause a hormonal environment that leads to weight gain... while other foods "balance" the system and stimulate fat loss.

While that’s partially true, it doesn't give you the full picture. The reason is that if you want to lower the number on your scale, the most important thing you must do is enter a caloric deficit.

It’s simple. If you consume more calories than you burn, you’ll gain weight. And if you consume fewer calories than you burn, you’ll lose weight. That’s a scientific fact.[2]

Looking for proof? Well, dozens of studies show the vitality of calorie balance.[3-19] One of these is a case study by Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University.[20]

He carried excess pounds and, knowing the importance of calorie balance, decided to do an experiment. For two months, he only ate foods like Twinkies, Oreos, Dorito, and protein shakes while maintaining a daily energy deficit of 800 calories.

The result? In just two months, he lost 27 pounds and reduced his body fat from 33.4% to 24.9%.

Now, I don't recommend you follow such a diet, but it illustrates my point. If you want to lose fat, you must be in a calorie deficit.

Mistake #2 ( Severe calorie restriction that gives you the metabolism of a 90-year-old lady )

If an energy deficit of 250 calories a day will get you lean, a 1,000-calorie deficit will give you the results four times as fast, right?

Wrong! Many people make this mistake, and I used to do it too before I knew any better.

The truth is, severe calorie deficits screw up your physiology. That's why almost all low-calorie dieters regain the lost pounds when they stop the program... plus, most often gain some more on top of that.

You see, your body doesn't know you're trying to get ripped for the beach. Instead, because you're starving yourself, it thinks you're stranded with no food.

As a result, your body’s metabolism will plummet to prevent you from losing weight. This means that as soon as you come off your diet, your body will store as much food as possible as fat to prepare itself for the next starvation.

That’s why it’s essential to eat according to a calorie target fine-tuned for your body, your situation, and your goals.

Mistake #3 ( Thinking all calories are created equal )

Thus far, we've looked at calories. And while calories are a crucial piece of the fat loss puzzle, they're in no way the only thing that matters. You see, when most people say they want to lose weight, they actually strive to improve their health and look better.

The thing is, if you want to accomplish such feats, you shouldn’t strive for weight loss. Instead, set your sights on fat loss. That's because losing weight doesn't necessarily improve health and appearance, but losing fat does.

Now, when it comes to fat loss, calories remain a crucial element. But what is just as crucial is your macro intake. In other words, your consumption of protein, carbs, and fat is vital. How you set up your macros has a profound effect on how your body will respond to the meals you eat.

For example, if you consume too many carbs, it’ll be near impossible to lose fat even if you maintain a calorie deficit. That’s because carbs spike insulin, a hormone that blunts fat loss in two main ways.

One of these is that elevated insulin levels block the release of fat from your fat cells.[21-23] And if your cells can't release fat, your body can never burn off the excess.

Second, elevated insulin levels cause the storage of energy found in your bloodstream to morph into body fat cells.[23-25] This means the energy won’t get burned off by tissues like muscle but instead snakes its way around to places like your hips and abs.

That’s why researchers call insulin the "fat storage hormone," and that’s why carb-rich diets make it nearly impossible to lose fat.

Insulin is but one example. Optimizing your macros is crucial for many more reasons, so in a minute I’ll show you how to set up your macros to triple fat loss.

The best part? The method I’ll show you in a minute from now is effortless to follow and never leaves you hungry. In fact, this eating style is so satiating and easy to follow that you would probably forget you were on a diet if you weren’t losing fat so fast.

Mistake #4 (Following an unrealistic, overly restrictive diet )

Willpower works like a battery – you only have so much of it until it runs out. That’s why very restrictive diets deplete your willpower, increase your cravings, and lead to binging – the exact opposite of what you want when trying to build your dream body.[26-27]

I've seen it countless times before... a guy or gal who is dedicated to losing weight and getting healthy. To kick things off, they start a diet that only allows food like tilapia, asparagus, and chicken. After all, that’s what the fitness magazines recommend.

While the results are great in the beginning and the dieter loyally brings Tupperware boxes packed with "healthy" meals wherever they go, their willpower eventually runs out and that diet gets tossed out the window.

Just keep in mind that dieting itself is already hard. Don't make it even harder for yourself by enforcing all kinds of unnecessary restrictions. Otherwise, you’ll likely take on a “screw it” mentally after a few weeks or even days, wake up in a sea of Twinkie wrappers and be back to square one.

The Solution to These Diet Blunders:

A Keto Meal Plan Customized to Your Body, Situation, Goals, and Taste Buds

If you want to take all the guesswork out of your diet and follow a guaranteed-to-work plan, then you'll love my brand-new custom keto meal plan service.

For the last few years, I’ve united leading nutritionists, personal trainers, and chefs to develop custom keto meal plans that are effective, convenient, cost-effective, and (most importantly) enjoyable.

And when I say "custom" meal plan, I mean it. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill, “here are some recipes pulled together from random blogs” meal plans many nutrition “gurus” sell for way too much money.

Instead, we tailor your entire meal plan to your own unique situation, needs, goals, and dietary preferences to ensure you experience optimal progress and follow a diet you enjoy.

In other words, your days of suffering on ineffective and overly-restrictive diets are finally over. It's time to start working based on a method that's best for you.

What Truly Sets These Meal Plans Apart is that They’re Based on the Keto Diet

Unless you were lost in the Himalayas for the last few years, I bet you've heard of the keto diet. In fact, you probably have a friend or family member who has transformed their body like magic with this diet.

But in case you didn’t know or just forgot, here’s a quick recap. A keto diet is an eating style where you consume almost no carbs, moderate amounts of protein, and high amounts of dietary fat. So, you’ll be eating tasty high-fat meals like ribeye steak with roasted garlic and butter.

“Why would you do that?” you may wonder. Well, a very low carb intake puts you into a state called “ketosis.” You see, under regular circumstances, your body relies for the most part on glucose (the stored form of carb).

When you minimize your carb intake, however, there's not enough glucose available for your body to fuel all its functions. And because some tissues like your brain cannot use fat for fuel, your body needs an alternative energy source to stay alive.

That’s where ketones come in. Ketones are chemicals produced in your liver when glucose is scarce. Various tissues like your brain can use these ketones for fuel when glucose is absent.[28] That's an excellent outcome because, otherwise, you would die.

Now, when your body uses primarily ketones and fatty acids for fuel, you're in a state called “ketosis.” That’s invaluable because...

Ketosis Gives You an “Unfair” Advantage on Your Fat Loss Goals

You’ll Get Your Custom Keto Meal Plan for Less Than 5% of What You Would Normally Pay

Having a personalized nutrition plan created just for you can get REALLY expensive REALLY fast.

If you go to a nutritionist, you'll pay around $100 for your initial meeting and an average of $400 per month for modifications and check-ins. So, for an 8-week nutrition plan, expect to pay around $900.

And after spending all that money, it's very likely you'll end up with the same outcome as the rest of their clients: devastated with your results and clueless about what to do next.

I know how it feels because I've been there myself... forking over thousands of dollars for no results. And I know how shattering it is to spend all that time and money and not even end up close to your ultimate goal.

I don’t want you to suffer from such an experience, and that’s why I'm offering this service. My goal is to help people transform their health and figure without going through the unnecessary struggles that often come with it.

That’s why I offer this service not for $900. In fact, the price is not even 5% of that because if you act today, you’ll get instant access for just $37.

I know, this is much less than what you would expect from such a service. But I want to make my custom meal plans available for everyone. And I want to help one million men and women around the world take charge of their health and figure. That’s why I don’t want price to be an issue.

But that’s not all. Besides this low price, I also back you with a robust and straightforward 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Try Your Custom Meal Plan Risk-Free and Judge for Yourself. If You’re Not Satisfied, You’ll Get All Your Money Back

[slowlyandsilentlydying]

Theoretically I should be happy they it’s Eid today but all I can think about is all the food that my family is expecting me to eat and that I’m going to be tempted by :(

So I’m just going to give myself today as a “cheat” day and from Tuesday I’ll just start exercising significantly more cause I don’t think I can get away with reducing my calorie intake any further without my family becoming concerned.

Hopefully I’ll stick to 1500 calories but I know it’s probably going to be closer to 2000 realistically and maybe 2500 calories at the absolute worst. I’m just praying this cheat day won’t make me gain more than 2 kgs 🤞🏽

[johnnys-so]

I recall you saying you don't know Day6 well enough for an analysis, but what about now? If you can, we'd love one. Thank you!

HEYOOO! 

Umm a lot hasn’t changed on that front but I feel like the distance might be a good thing so I’m going to attach some small mini-analysis after the cut.

sungjin

Bob is literally the most dad friend ever and I think he really takes the cake (though GOT7′s JB comes a close second). He looks so constantly done with all of his members, and yet - probably the one who cleans the kitchen and makes sure to stock up on water/ramyeon/veggies etc.

I feel like he was born to be the hyung, you know? He is the responsible and primary caregiver type. Even though he doesn’t make a big show of it, it seems to be a big part of his personality that he takes care of other people

Also, my god his humour is just.... something commendable, truly. He can’t be funny to save his ass but atleast he keeps trying and i think THATS what so funny about him??? sungjin-ah.... never give up bby

I feel like he’s the least complicated of all members. He doesn’t seem to be the emotionally volatile type and seems very centred in his personality, he also seems oddly like he might have a sister? a younger one (does he? idk, mydays pls let me know). it’s just that other than the protective bear stereotype, he does seem emotionally well-adjusted. Maybe he’s just at that point in life where he can encounter a shitty day or some sort of hardship and look at it straight and say - ok, that’s fucked up. But I guess we gotta just work through it. (in comparison, wonpil would be shrieking through his lungs AND working through it)

in terms of a temper i think he most certainly has one but it takes him a while to get there and i don’t think he’d talk through it AT ALL. maybe cleanliness would be his pet peeve? (im just shooting in the dark here)

to wrap it up, sungjin is the sort of guy (in my opinion at least) who has a strong and steady value system and he’s sort of ok with dealing with the world as long as he has it figured out in his head. He knows who he is, and therefore there is little conflict he brings to the world. If he wasn’t playing in this band, I’d 1000% see him settle for the corporate life and clean9 to 5 job which lets him come back home by 7pm and have some cold beer while watching football and hearing his kids play in the living room

Jae

Aww man this skinny bitch. I feel like the fandom is sleeping on his ‘annoying prankster’ potential because i think  he’d give peeves a run for his money

derives great joy from the misery and anguish of others (probably has Wonpil maniacally laughing in the background)

on a normal day Jae is the sort of person who’s probably going through memes on the phone while everyone’s having a serious conversation about their tour or like their everyday schedules. He has a few things he cares about in life and is okay to take a backseat when it comes to the other shit. As long as he gets what he needs (a possible slytherin mofo?)

But that’s not to say that he’s easygoing or wishywashy about the things that he does care about. Music, matters a lot to him. Even though he’s not academically musically instructed (as young k is) he has spent a whole lot of time and effort into educating himself to the point that it really shows in their albums (i could wax poetry about the complexity of Day6′s music and how its so refreshing in it’s personality of being both goth and peppy i-). So Jae is most certainly determined, goal driven and very intrinsically motivated

Also, very much in his head. If he doesn’t have a strong pisces placement, I’m willing to eat my foot. I feel like while Young K is very intense about his emotions, Jae gets very emotional about the people he surrounds himself with.

With people: not very trusting of everyone. Has a chosen few that he goes to certain things about. Might be the kind of person who distributes his troubles by categories to various confidants. But also, trust is something that is earned with jae. But that is not to say that he won’t get along with other people. He’s cordial and is good in engaging a crowd (as a performer, MC, friend, VJ) but he’s also good at drawing lines and boundaries

the most incredible part of his personality for me has always been his work-ethic and his drive to be better. He’s always challenging himself through his existing skill set, but also pushing himself to learn new things. Sounds like a bloody workaholic to me. 

probably shit at figuring out his own feelings/emotions/attitude about certain things. But always up for being the wise advice-giver to other delinquents (read: jamie)

sarcastic wit to sass everyone for days. probably a loki over thor guy

Kink master extraordinaire. Likes cooking up shit and encourages people to sin.

Young K

emo baby af. But we all knew this so more on that later

The ultimate Onion of a personality. Young K, off the bat, seems like he hides so many layers. Not purposely at all, but simply because he’s unable to communicate the extent of his mental world to the public

one beautiful way he has found to channelise all of his thoughts and ideas about the world is clearly through his music and lyrics. But he’s also extremely creative in other ways (art and fashion). I feel like he’s the sort of person who feels most confident and assured in himself when he’s creating. 

socially, what a mess. I wouldn’t say he has trust issues like Jae does but im pretty sure he’s made some foolish mistakes about choosing friends and not realising how to navigate that friendship (friendships where he has demanded too much or has been demanded too much of??). But otherwise a jovial fool the kind of person who laughs the loudest (and dorkiest) at a dinner with friends

how’s his alcohol intake? I have this super funny intake of a drunk young k trying to write mini love poems for all his friends and sungjin being called to take him home and the call actually begins with “did he try to be poetic again?”

while im trying to paint a picture of him as a jester (because young k also needs to be seen for beyond his emotionality) he’s the kind of guy that would surprise you with how brilliant he is. An actual wisecrack/genius, and very underappreciated. I wouldn’t be surprised if he someday returns to teaching

Right. Emotionality though. If he isn’t some pisces (sun or moon) i will actually yell. He’s the definition of ‘someone who navigates an alternate plane, is open to a world that most people don’t even begin to understand exists’. i feel like speaking to him about abstract concepts - such as the existence of truth, the point of life, the definition of beauty, other existential phenomenon - would be so much fun because he’s have such an interesting and unconventional take on things. I feel like he’s make me humble with the words he has (he already makes me feel so secure with all of his lyrics because i realize, even if the world is shit what a relief that someone like young k exists)

probably would be a guilt-ridden but a wonderfully emotionally supportive boyfriend. Someone who understands your demons all too well and would go the extra mile to provide whatever help he can

1000% has high neuroticism scores that would be cause for concern. someone give him a Beck’s depression inventory right away.

HAHAHAHAH probably the fucking kinkiest mofo, after Jae

Wonpil

An actual baby!!

No ok but wonpil has matured THE most in all of Day6 and i really didn’t realise it until i notice how his expressions have become more closed during airport pics, and his voice has gained a new level of emotionality in live stages, and he’s also a lot more reserved these days on variety shows

still the most extrovert in the group. I just think the fame, the crowd, the possible betrayals as a result of their growing fame and having to be an adult in this tough situation - has gotten to him. But that’s inevitable really. None of us can be protected from the reality of life that leeches away at our innocence

such a vibrant soul. Such a giver. As a friend, he’s literal sunshine. Not much of a protector, but more of an amicable I’ll-always-be-there-for-you sort of person (though im guessing the amount of people he extends this courtesy to nowadays has probably reduced. 

fucking made to be an entertainer. He’s naturally funny and attracts all the energy (and eyes) in the room to himself. A very good mood maker if you will

in terms of neuroticism, I think he’d be more on the depression (from the constant stress workstyle and the increasing loneliness) than an anxious person. I think he probably is a bit volatile in his emotions but that’s because he gets lost in the moment. He’s literally someone who lives in the present far more than he lives in the past (sungjin or young k) or the future (jae)

don’t think he's intrinsically motivated much. Prone to a lot of lazy days, a lot of extreme gaming and just randomnly playing jokes and pranks on people. he’d need some strongly external guidance/deadlines to get his work ethic going

high extraversion and agreeableness, probably low on conscientiousness (especially discpline) but fascinated by aesthetic beauty (openness to experience).

Dowoon

Honest to god i cannot figure him out. I think it’s a case of - im trying to look deeper and harder but the truth is, it’s not even that complicated

underappreciated oppa potential 100000%

still comes through as a dork of a maknae. has zeROhand eye coordination outside of drumming. the kind of kid who breaks the glassware and blames it on his sibling (wonpil) and his parents totally believe him because he could do no wrong (aka sungjin grudginly yells at wonpil, again, about house rules)

just a man dedicated to his drums and his food. if he can play some solid beats, get some work done on the albums, play a nice set on a tour, have some chicken and beer while he is resting, have his hyungs fool around in the green room --> he good bruh

but by no means does that make him a fool (though i do think he’s a bit of a fool sometimes when it comes to picking up social cues about wonpil/jae making fun of him. he lacks the 눈치 you know what i mean)

Also (maybe I just love plot twists) but i think he’d be eerily good at picking up on people feeling sad/depressed/lonely/off in general. He’d be like that guy who just walks into the room and sees you just slinking away on the sofa and he thinks.... nah im just going to give them space and go get myself some food. But literally a few seconds later, he sits by you on the sofa, offers you food, and asks what’s on your mind. The silent supporter kind. Willing to listen, willing to be there for you

i don’t know much about dowoon so im just going to end this with: arms that can lift kids/ crush you in a bear hug/ pin you against a wall and leave bit marks on your neck

sorry if that didn’t cover much. I sort of only know day6 with their music. If im extremely wrong or way off about someone, please reach out and correct me!!

[kenyel-kenyel]

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Dear friend,

Is it true? Has modern science finally discovered a diet that can strip off body fat like clockwork, while still allowing you to eat tasty meals like ribeye steak with roasted garlic and butter?

Hi, my name is Rachel Roberts. I'm not a professional ad writer, but what I have to share with you is so extraordinary and powerful that I decided to write this myself. So bear with me a little.

Here’s The Deal:

In my opinion, the nutrition industry is hopelessly broken. Instead of helping people improve their health and overall physical appearance, the world is filled with myths, scams, and flat-out lies.

I mean, it’s obvious the current dietary guidelines don’t work. Just look at the stats. 71.6% of American adults aged 20 and above are overweight, of which more than half are obese!

Now, if you’re one of the millions of people who follow all the nutrition rules outlined by health and fitness “gurus” but still carry excess fat, it is not your fault!

The Truth Is:

No matter how genetically “doomed” you may think you are, and no matter how frustrated you may feel after trying and discarding many diets, you absolutely can have the lean and alluring body of your dreams. You see, getting into fantastic shape isn't nearly as cruel as nutrition and fitness “gurus” want you to believe. In fact, if you avoid the four most common and catastrophic diet mistakes, shaping your dream figure is actually a simple process.

Do You Make These Four Common Diet Mistakes That Sabotage Your Health and Stall Fat

Mistake #1

Not being in a calorie deficit

According to some “experts,” losing weight and keeping it off is all about controlling the types of food you eat.

They say particular foods are "fattening" because they pause fat burning and cause a hormonal environment that leads to weight gain... while other foods "balance" the system and stimulate fat loss.

While that’s partially true, it doesn't give you the full picture. The reason is that if you want to lower the number on your scale, the most important thing you must do is enter a caloric deficit.

It’s simple. If you consume more calories than you burn, you’ll gain weight. And if you consume fewer calories than you burn, you’ll lose weight. That’s a scientific fact.

Looking for proof? Well, dozens of studies show the vitality of calorie balance. One of these is a case study by Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University.

He carried excess pounds and, knowing the importance of calorie balance, decided to do an experiment. For two months, he only ate foods like Twinkies, Oreos, Dorito, and protein shakes while maintaining a daily energy deficit of 800 calories.

The result? In just two months, he lost 27 pounds and reduced his body fat from 33.4% to 24.9%.

Now, I don't recommend you follow such a diet, but it illustrates my point. If you want to lose fat, you must be in a calorie deficit.

Mistake #2

Severe calorie restriction that gives you the metabolism of a 90-year-old lady

If an energy deficit of 250 calories a day will get you lean, a 1,000-calorie deficit will give you the results four times as fast, right?

Wrong! Many people make this mistake, and I used to do it too before I knew any better.

The truth is, severe calorie deficits screw up your physiology. That's why almost all low-calorie dieters regain the lost pounds when they stop the program... plus, most often gain some more on top of that.

You see, your body doesn't know you're trying to get ripped for the beach. Instead, because you're starving yourself, it thinks you're stranded with no food.

As a result, your body’s metabolism will plummet to prevent you from losing weight. This means that as soon as you come off your diet, your body will store as much food as possible as fat to prepare itself for the next starvation.

That’s why it’s essential to eat according to a calorie target fine-tuned for your body, your situation, and your goals.

Mistake #3

Thinking all calories are created equal

Thus far, we've looked at calories. And while calories are a crucial piece of the fat loss puzzle, they're in no way the only thing that matters. You see, when most people say they want to lose weight, they actually strive to improve their health and look better.

The thing is, if you want to accomplish such feats, you shouldn’t strive for weight loss. Instead, set your sights on fat loss. That's because losing weight doesn't necessarily improve health and appearance, but losing fat does.

Now, when it comes to fat loss, calories remain a crucial element. But what is just as crucial is your macro intake. In other words, your consumption of protein, carbs, and fat is vital. How you set up your macros has a profound effect on how your body will respond to the meals you eat.

For example, if you consume too many carbs, it’ll be near impossible to lose fat even if you maintain a calorie deficit. That’s because carbs spike insulin, a hormone that blunts fat loss in two main ways.

One of these is that elevated insulin levels block the release of fat from your fat cells. And if your cells can't release fat, your body can never burn off the excess.

Second, elevated insulin levels cause the storage of energy found in your bloodstream to morph into body fat cells.[23-25] This means the energy won’t get burned off by tissues like muscle but instead snakes its way around to places like your hips and abs.

That’s why researchers call insulin the "fat storage hormone," and that’s why carb-rich diets make it nearly impossible to lose fat.

Insulin is but one example. Optimizing your macros is crucial for many more reasons, so in a minute I’ll show you how to set up your macros to triple fat loss.

The best part? The method I’ll show you in a minute from now is effortless to follow and never leaves you hungry. In fact, this eating style is so satiating and easy to follow that you would probably forget you were on a diet if you weren’t losing fat so fast.

Mistake #4

Following an unrealistic, overly restrictive diet

Willpower works like a battery – you only have so much of it until it runs out. That’s why very restrictive diets deplete your willpower, increase your cravings, and lead to binging – the exact opposite of what you want when trying to build your dream body.

I've seen it countless times before... a guy or gal who is dedicated to losing weight and getting healthy. To kick things off, they start a diet that only allows food like tilapia, asparagus, and chicken. After all, that’s what the fitness magazines recommend.

While the results are great in the beginning and the dieter loyally brings Tupperware boxes packed with "healthy" meals wherever they go, their willpower eventually runs out and that diet gets tossed out the window.

Just keep in mind that dieting itself is already hard. Don't make it even harder for yourself by enforcing all kinds of unnecessary restrictions. Otherwise, you’ll likely take on a “screw it” mentally after a few weeks or even days, wake up in a sea of Twinkie wrappers and be back to square one.

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It’s simple: if, for any reason you're not satisfied, shoot me a message and ask for a refund. Just tell me you're not happy and you'll get your money back.

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 This Service Is NOT for You if:

We’ve been around long enough that we’ve noticed there are three types of people we can't help:

1. You don’t take action, but instead want to spend all your spare time trying to figure out the optimal diet.

2. You think you already know what you need to do to build your dream body and you’re unwilling to follow an expert’s instructions.

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That being said, if you're looking for a science-based, "Done For You" plan where you’ll lose fat and improve your health while eating delicious foods every meal...

Here’s What I Want You to Do Next

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Start by clicking here! You’ll see a few questions to answer about your current situation, food preferences, and goals. Nothing crazy. We just need some basic info to understand your circumstances better. Answer these questions as accurately (and honestly) as possible, and make sure your email address is correct so you can receive your meal plan.

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Step #3 Are You Ready?

If so, today is the day you rise to the challenge and transform your body and health because ultimately, this service is for people who recognize a great opportunity when they see one and act fast.

    The Way I See It, You have Three Options From Here

Option #1

Ignore everything you've just read and change nothing. If you decide to take this path, remember the old saying, "if you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got."

Option #2

Try to lose fat and improve your health through "trial and error." Fly solo with the attitude "throw it on the wall and see what sticks." You may reach your goal at some point with this approach, but not without countless frustrations and setbacks that leave you on the verge of giving up.

 Or, the smartest option…

Option #3

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