#cause I can talk about what's going on; I can talk about what went on; I can talk about wagner's role

[squinch-depraved]

ok. now we need the whole damn gang getting their virginity taken, ted but like he’s a little more experienced (knowledge wise) and understands the female body ⁉️

here you go my lovelies part 5 of the virgin college au (new dividers how do we like them)

so.

ted knocks on your door, only a little bit nervous

and you answer it, immediately rolling your eyes and letting him in just like you did with his friends

"let me fucking guess," you start, already knowing what he's here for

"i can do better than them," he cuts you off

"i've done research, i've talked to my friends that are girls, i know i could make you feel better than they did for my first time."

his refusal to beat around the bush takes you by surprise, and you wince as you look around to see if your roommate heard him

"a-alright, ted. follow me, just... shut up. my roommate hasn't left yet."

he nods, grinning, and trails behind you all the way down the hallway and into your room, setting his stuff down on the floor next to the doorway as you crawl onto your bed

jesus, schlatt wasn't wrong. there are so many stuffed animals, ted thinks to himself as he stands there awkwardly, awaiting your instructions

"he talked about my fucking plushies, didn't he," you chuckle, noticing his expression as he tried to count how many there were

"to be fair, he said it was really cute. and he wasn't wrong," ted replies smoothly, walking to sit on the edge of the mattress

"does he know about charlie?" you ask quietly, unable to look him in the eyes

"the text you sent him. he read it."

"fuck," you sigh, running one hand through your hair

"i hope it doesn't cause problems between you guys. schlatt and i have talked; we're not exclusive. i told him that. he can't be mad."

"i don't think he's mad at you," ted reassures you. "i think he's a little hurt that charlie went to you the first weekend he wasn't here, but he'll probably get over it pretty quickly. he's not the type to hold a grudge like that, especially against one of his best friends and the person who took his virginity."

you ponder his words, shaking your head to clear yourself of the knowledge and focus on the task at hand after a few moments

"what exactly makes you think you could fuck me better?" you ask, reclining onto the pile of stuffed animals and stretching your legs out in front of you

ted stammers for only a second, then swiftly responds with, "for starters, i've heard quite a bit about you from schlatt and charlie. kinda goin' into this with a head start, don't you think?"

"'head start' as in you'll finish first? no thanks," you banter

but ted's quick to quip back

"i don't plan on finishing first. but even if i do, i'll go until i make you cum. i'll use my mouth, fingers, whatever you want. hell, i'll keep going with my cock if that's what you need. probably get super overstimulated but i want to make you feel good. i need to do better than them."

you open and close your mouth a few times, trying to find the right response

"y-you're really competitive, huh?"

he laughs quietly and shakes his head

"i just think someone like you deserves to be treated well. more so than those two can do for you."

"you know, you're really lucky you're attractive? because if you weren't, this whole confident, never-been-touched-before-but-i-know-what-i'm-doing schtick would be incredibly annoying."

ted grins, a goofy smile that warms your heart slightly, and jokes, "it'll get annoying fast. just wait."

with a snort, you motion for him to crawl on top of you, and he does, staring down at you with his gorgeous hazel eyes for a few seconds before leaning in to press a kiss to your lips

"mmmfhhh," you moan against him as he gently bites down onto your bottom lip

ted smirks into the kiss and uses one hand to cup your face as he slides his tongue into your mouth, other hand reaching under your shirt to feel for your chest

once he takes your nipple between his fingers, you gasp and arch your back slightly, desperate for more contact

frustratedly, you withdraw from the kiss, a string of saliva leaving you connected

he watches with a hungry smile as you peel your top off, taking the strings of your sweatpants in one hand and tugging on them gently

"greedy!!" you tease him

but you indulge him, slipping out of the pants and tossing them off the side of the bed

his breath hitches in his throat at the sight of you nearly bare in front of him, clad in only a skimpy pair of panties that he so desperately wants to rip off with his teeth

"thought you said you know what you're doing," you snicker, amused by his vacant expression

your joke snaps him out of it, and he pulls his shirt over his head with one arm, reaching behind him to grab the fabric from the nape of his neck and paying no mind as it falls to the floor

"f-fuck," you stutter

he's thrown you off a bit with how smooth the motion is, not to even mention how good he looks just wearing jeans

ted notices your hesitation and grins, spreading your legs open and crawling in between them

"they weren't this forward, were they?"

you let out a shaky breath as he plants a sloppy kiss to your neck

"no," you sigh. "they weren't."

"mm. bet you had to tell them what to do."

"yeah, i did. schlatt was okay, he got the hang of it, but charlie was- agh! fuck!" you hiss when he takes your flesh between his teeth and bites down, sucking a dark mark into it

"ted!!"

"what?" he purrs, pulling away to look at you

usually you were the one that left the bruises

now, whenever you saw schlatt, you'd have even more explaining to do

when he realizes you're unable to come up with anything to say, he smirks down at you and moves to kiss your chest

"you were telling me about charlie?" he asks before taking one nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it

"yeah. um, fuck. uhh, he was... he was good," you stammer, rolling your eyes back into your head slightly

"he didn't give a lot of details. i'm guessing he's more of a gentleman than schlatt?"

your face heats up even more at his words uttered against your warm skin

"you could say that." you decide to not say anything else in case charlie was embarrassed

"fuck, you're so hot," he groans as he presses his face between your breasts and brings them to sandwich his head

a laugh escapes you, the melodic sound filling the air and causing ted to raise his head to look at you

"this isn't sexy, is it?"

you giggle again and smooth down a wild tuft of his hair

"not in the usual way, but your awkward eagerness to please is kind of turning me on."

he grins again and sits up, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them off

you try not to, but you can't help but stare at his clothed bulge

he looks so sexy in his boxers, a small happy trail now complimenting his chest hair

"what?" he asks, smile faltering for just a moment when you can't do anything but admire him

"n-nothing. i just-"

"doesn't matter," he cuts you off by clambering on top of you again, leaning in to make out with you passionately

a surprised, yet aroused moan slips from your lips, and he uses one hand to tug off your panties in a seamless motion that you swear he has to have practiced before

"so wet for me already, damn."

you can hear the smile in his voice as he leans back and spreads your folds open with two fingers

"gonna taste you now."

"mhm," you answer absent-mindedly, too focused on the way his cock twitches through his boxers

ted stares up at you once he positions himself right in front of your cunt, giving you a look of pure desire

gingerly, he scoots closer and presses a wet kiss to your clit, eyes flicking between your dazed expression and your soaked pussy to make sure he's doing it right

eventually he starts dipping his tongue into your hole, savoring the taste and mirroring you by groaning softly into you

you're whining and moaning and bucking your hips in pure bliss, because, for once, you don't have to teach this fool how to make you feel good

he's incredible; better than schlatt was at first

"ted!! fuck, fuck me, oh my god," you babble, bringing your legs to wrap around his head

"mm, not yet. enjoying how sweet you are on my tongue," he coos into your dripping core

with an agonized wail, you tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him even closer against your cunt

"this isn't fair," you whine, yet you smile dreamily as you say it

"i think it is. you put up with so many guys that don't know what they're doing, and finally one comes along who did the research to know how to make you feel good, and you just wanna rush things. it's sad."

"research won't mean shit if i get you worked up enough," you chuckle breathlessly

"maybe. we'll have to see," he muses, shoving his face back between your thighs

the unexpectedness of the whole situation makes it surprisingly easy for you to cum

ted picks up on your signals, speeding up when you start arching your back, curling his fingers inside you when you begin to scream his name

a mess is made all over his face, along with your bedsheets, when you release; stars fleck your vision and pulse in time with your heartbeat, which you can hear clear as day in your ears

"see? now i can fuck you," he pants, immense pride obvious in his tone

"shut the fuck up and take those off," you growl, reaching to tug at the hem of his boxers

he laughs and obliges, pumping himself in one hand and absorbing the look of hunger in your eyes

"fuck, ted," you whisper, excited to take his length, but unsure of how much it would hurt

"oh! hold on," he exclaims, rising from the bed and going to dig into his bag by the door

it takes him a second, and you impatiently blow some hair out of your face as you wait, but he returns with a condom

just tears it open with his teeth and slides it on, with relative ease, considering he's never used one before

once he's wrapped, he slides between your legs again, kissing you one more time before pressing his tip to your entrance

"you ready?"

he sounds so loving, so patient

so it's a shock when you mumble a, "yes," and he pushes into you forcefully, not enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp and wince

"what's wrong??" he asks, taking one of your hands in his and bringing it to his lips to kiss

"nothing. big. hurts a bit. just go," you spit out rapidly

ted grins and proceeds to start pumping in and out of you, head falling forward as he processes the pleasure he's receiving as your walls envelop him

"fuck, baby!" he grunts once he establishes a brutal pace

"this good?"

"you like how i'm fuckin' you?"

unable to speak, you nod and dig your nails into his back, clawing him up and down

"not bad for my first time, right?" he chuckles

"you- fuck! have got the ego of a god," you gasp, locking your legs around him

"good thing i fuck like one, then, hmm?"

you let out a strangled growl, a bit mad that he actually is as good as he said he'd be, and dig your nails deeper into his back

"you're so fucking annoying," you manage to choke out

"hah! see, told you it'd get annoying fast," he laughs

"god, fuck, ted, i don't- i'm gonna cum again- i'm- fuck..." you ramble, squeezing your legs tighter and tighter around him

"you keep- ngh, clenching like that around me and i'm gonna cum too," he groans, more breathless than before

"fuuuck, teddy!!!" you wail, your whole body shuddering for a moment before going limp

ted just grunts and slams into you a bit harder a few more times, burying himself in you and collapsing onto you, chest heaving

"get off me, you loser," you tease in mock disgust, secretly enjoying the scent of his sweat as it drips down onto you

he rolls to the other side of the bed, smiling, and stares up at the ceiling as he tries to catch his breath

you joke with each other for a few minutes before your phone starts ringing

a glance at the screen reveals it's schlatt calling

ted starts getting dressed as soon as he sees who it is

and good thing too, because as soon as you answer, schlatt's voice rings through the phone, audible to both of you even though he's not on speaker

"i'm on my way over right now. we need to fucking talk."

that's all he says before he hangs up

the terrified expression on your face is enough for ted to toss his bag over his shoulder and rest one hand on your bedroom dorknob

"i should probably leave, huh?"

"yeah."

"...cool. we should do this again, though, right?"

a small smile spreads across your face

"...yeah."

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 8

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

⚠️Caution before reading⚠️

There's some deep conversations in this chapter so I advise to read with caution. A warning is there's heavy talk of Woojin, please remember the names and faces used here are just that, names and faces, and in no way reflect the real people the characters are based after. The actions, views, personalities and characteristics of these characters do not in any way shape or form reflect their real selves. This story is all for fun so please keep it that way. No hate. It took me a good two days to write this chapter with many breaks in between. I wasn't sure how I should write Y/n's backstory and had decided on trying to make it more relatable. For anyone who's used to reading my stories either on here or other platforms know I write a lot of things based on my own personal experiences so I can write better endings especially with comfort characters. This series is no different. Please know that I did exaggerate parts of it and everything that happened was years ago and I have gotten away from it. Thank you now please enjoy.

Chapter 8

Y/n’s dry heat lasted four days. Four days of them all taking turns cuddling with her in the nest keeping her fed and hydrated. Every morning and night Minho would kick everyone out of the den and apply the creams to her now mostly healed wounds and make sure she takes her medicine before helping her change into new clothes having been sweating through the previous ones each time. 

The worst day had to have been the second when she became super emotionless and just seemed to be a shell of a person. Her scent even became almost nonexistent. But they stayed with her especially when it caused her to sub-drop that night and they barely got any sleep trying to make sure she didn’t drop too deeply. 

They all slept in the nest with her every night, well except for Hyunjin. He didn’t come home the first night and snuck in the second night when they were all dealing with Y/n’s sub-drop. It was the third morning when her scent went back to normal from it that his beta started telling him she’s his fated mate causing his stomach to drop and his heart to ache. 

He would go downstairs occasionally, pretending to grab a drink or food and would subtly check in on her. That night he silently cried himself to sleep on the couch wanting to be close to her but knew he had fucked up. The fourth night after he cried himself to sleep again Changbin grabbed him from the couch and carried him to join everyone else in the nest. 

Hyunjin woke up the fifth morning in the nest with Jeongin hovering over him curiously. “Hi Innie.” 

“You better apologize to her.” The alpha tries to act dominant but it doesn’t last long as he pounces on him. “I’ve missed you, I hate when you act like that.” 

“I’ll apologize, I promise.” Hyunjin pulls the pup closer to him, happy to be with his mates again. 

“Mins going to kick us out soon to do what he needs to.” Jeongin whispers nuzzling into the betas neck.

And the youngest was right, as soon after Minho kicked them all out and moved to the omega to wake her up. “Come on kitten.”

“Let me sleep, Min.” She rolls over.

“Look at me, omega.” He places a hand in her hair and rubs gently as she whines and looks up at him.

The alpha sighs in relief when he sees her eyes are no longer foggy as they have been.

“You okay baby?”

“My body aches a bit.” She yawns and stretches. “And I need a shower.”

He smiles down at her, happy the dry heat is over. “How about a bubble bath instead? I don’t think any of us are ready for you to be alone quite yet.”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve established already that you need to take me on a date first before you can get my clothes off.” She smirks causing him to give an evil grin.

“Kitten, I’ve been taking your clothes off for the last four days.”

“Yah!” She blushes in embarrassment and quickly covers her face with one of the nearby blankets. “I’m sorry you guys had to do all of that.” She whimpers and Minho grabs the top of the blanket pulling it down to see her face.

“You don’t have to apologize for that, baby.” His hand finds its way back into her hair. “You never have to apologize for things like this. We’ll take care of you, always, no matter what. It’s what packs do, especially for their mates.”

“But I’m not even pack.” She frowns. “And I’m not mated to you guys.”

“You are pack, no one can say otherwise.” He smiles at her. “And we’ll get you mated to us soon enough.”

She blushes again and he can’t help but fawn over how cute she is as he moves his hands down to her sides and starts tickling her.

“No, Min, stop.” She laughs trying to wiggle away from him.

“Only if you promise to stop frowning so much.”

“Okay, okay, I give.” She giggles, he stops and smiles down at her.

“There’s that beautiful smile.” 

Chan pokes his head in the door. “I heard her laughing, I’m guessing it’s over?”

“Yeah.” Y/n sits up properly and the alpha sighs walking into the room moving to the nest. 

“You scared us a little, baby girl.” He pulls her to his chest. “But you’re good now and that’s what matters. How are you feeling?”

“A bit achy and in need of a shower.”

Chan frowns a little at this. “How about a bubble bath?”

“That’s what I told her too.” Minho smiles.

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t need all of you sitting in the bathroom while I take a bath. I think I’ll be okay alone.” 

“For our sanity, please just let one of us sit in there with you.” Chan tries to negotiate. 

“Fine.” The omega crosses her arms. “But it’s going to be Felix who does.”

“Deal.” Both alphas agree.

“I’ll go start it and let Lix know.” Minho stands up.

“Make sure to use Hyunjins expensive bath salts and bubbles.” Chan smirks. “He deserves it after how he was acting.”

Minho nods with a smirk and leaves the den and Chan turns back to the girl.

“My memories are a bit hazy from the last few days but I remember Seungmin helping me when it first started.” She whispers. “But I don’t remember Hyunjin ever being around. Is he still not happy?”

“Well I’ll tell you this.” The alpha coos at her. “Jinnie cried himself to sleep on the couch the last two nights and Bin had to bring him to the nest last night. He hasn’t said anything about you being her for the last two days and considering that and the fact that he was not so subtly trying to check on you, I think he’s realized how badly he fucked up. Just like Minnie did.” 

Y/n nods but also feels guilty for being the reason the oldest beta was crying himself to sleep.

“Sooo…” she rings her fingers together. “What’s going to happen now?” 

“You’re gonna get washed up and it’s the last day you need to take the antibiotics and do the creams.” He explained. “And then we’re gonna sit down as a pack and discuss everything.” 

She nods and starts to overthink about how the pack meeting will go but doesn’t get to worry for long as Felix rushes in tackling her into the nest.

“Hi sunshine.” He purrs. “I’m so glad to see you’re better now.” 

“Hi Lixie.” She nuzzles into him.

The older omega turns to Chan. “Can I take her now?” 

The alpha can’t help but smile at the two. “Yes baby, you can take her.” 

Felix grabs her hand, dragging her out of the nest and into the large bathroom on the first floor where Minho is just turning the taps off for the bath. The room smells of bath salts and the tub is full of bubbles. 

“I put your clothes on the counter.” Minho motions. “And I’ll be back afterwards to help you apply the creams. Lix keep an eye on her. Shout if you guys need anything.”

 Felix turns away as she strips and gets into the bath and once she tells him he’s good he sits against the wall next to the tub and talks with her as she soaks. He helps her wash her back then her hair and once she was ready to get out he left to get Minho again as she dried off and changed into shorts and a bra for the alpha to help her with the creams one last time and after getting her shirt on they head into the dining room.

“Y/n.” Seungmin comes over to her. “I’m really sorry…”

The omega hugs him tightly, surprising him. “It’s okay.” He relaxes and hugs her back. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Of course pup.” He buries his nose into her neck.

“I’m also really sorry for how I acted.” Hyunjin stands nearby. “I know it’s going to take some time with everything I said but I’ll work on it as I know now that you are our omega.”

Y/n smiles at him and nods as Seungmin lets her go and everyone moves to sit around the table to discuss everything. 

“So first things first Y/n.” Chan starts, sitting across from her. “You wanted to tell us about what happened before we found you. If you’re not ready yet that’s okay, just let us know when you are.”

“Hyunjin and Seungmin also wanted to explain themselves for how they acted.” Changbin explains, sitting between the two betas. “It will also help give you some understanding about the pack's history.”

Seungmin sighs, leaning back against the chair. “As you saw in the pictures in the tenth bedroom upstairs, we had another pack member, another alpha. That was his room.”

“His name was Woojin.” Hyunjin crosses his arms. “It was back before all of us officially became each other's mates but we had all been discussing it as we understood we were each other's fated mates. We had also all agreed we would be looking for you, our fated omega.”

“But Woojin had other ideas.” Felix growls which was the first time she’s ever heard something like that from him.

“Woojin didn’t see omegas the same way as we do.” Hyunjin watches the omega like beta. “He was very much not accepting of how Felix is when he finally had the confidence to explain his omega tendencies to us.”

Y/n grabs the other omega’s hand for both his and hers comfort. 

“We also saw it very quickly as he had started treating Lix poorly.” Jeongin grits his teeth. “Was treating him as though he wasn’t a person and we couldn’t accept that.”

“I understand that.” She whispers looking down at her and Felix’s intertwined hands. 

All of their hearts break hearing her words. 

“Innie was a late presenter and was a pretty fresh alpha at the time.” Minho pulls the youngest to him. “Because of it he was still learning but he knew to be protective of Lix as though he was his omega and it caused a nasty fight to break out.”

“We knew we couldn’t keep someone like him around.” Chan’s fist is clenched on the table. “We told him he had to leave which caused an even worse fight.”

“There was blood.” Jisung shudders. “And later we found out he had assaulted someone in town.”

“That’s why we keep his room off limits.” Seungmin motions upstairs. “Whatever he left and any photos with him in it the alphas packed up in boxes and left them in there.”

“After that we all agreed for our sake that eight is fate.” Hyunjin whispers. “Why Minnie and I weren’t happy about your presence here. We were afraid of something like that again. Getting attached just for you to do something to hurt us and leave.”

Y/n nods in understanding, unsure what to even say after hearing all of that as she’s still looking down at hers and Felix’s hands. She tried to speak a few times, opening her mouth only for nothing to be said.

Chan gets up and walks over to her chair pulling it out a bit so he can kneel in front of her. “What’s going on in that head of yours, baby girl?”

“A lot.” She mumbles looking at him. “Everything you guys had said as well as me trying to figure out how to tell you my situation.”

“You don’t have to tell us yet if you aren’t ready.” 

“No.” She shakes her head. “You guys need to know.”

“Are you sure?” Felix squeezes her hand. 

She nods and Jisung scoots over to the empty chair on his other side so Chan can take his seat to be next to the omega. 

“Like Innie, I presented late.” She sighs. “My family consists of mostly betas. The only alphas being my grandfather, uncle and youngest cousin. I’m the only omega in several generations in the whole pack. Both my parents, older brother and four younger siblings are all betas. As well as the rest of my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. Most other pack members are betas with the occasional alpha.We all originally thought I was one too until I was seventeen and had my first heat. Even before then though I was treated differently.”

“My grandfather is the pack alpha. I was the oldest girl so there were a lot of expectations put on me that I was never able to meet. From a young age, every family or pack event I was the one to do everything. Clean, help cook, set everything up while all the other kids got to play. They would tell me to do several things at the same time and if I didn’t get something done in the time they wanted because I was doing the other stuff first I was reprimanded and punished. If my older brother tried to help me I was reprimanded or punished for putting my load on him instead of just doing it myself.”

“What would they do?” Jisung asks, leaning his head on Chan's arm. 

“At first it was just more chores that would just get stupider, like dust underneath of the dining table or not let me play with the other kids at all or say I didn’t deserve presents on Christmas and my birthday.” She sighs. “As I got older it became I wasn’t allowed to eat or no one was to talk to me for the whole day. Then it was all of that and I was locked in the basement away from everyone for a few hours. Nothing to really physically harm me as my grandfather wanted to look good as the pack alpha.”

Chan looks down at her still slightly bruised wrist with a raised brow. “I’ll get to that.” She whispers. “Everyone in our pack lived in the neighborhood so we were to always put on an act that we were the perfect family.” Y/n couldn’t help but to chuckle as she shook her head. “But we were far from that. My older brother never wanted to come around so my family would use the excuse of how hardworking he is, being busy with school and work. My parents separated and my dad left the pack and mated with an alpha female ten years younger than him and had my four younger siblings. My mom was a verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive alcoholic and anytime she fucked up, pissing her parents off they took it out on me. Would ignore me for weeks or months until I apologized, for I never even knew what, just for it to happen again not long after. Would “forget” to pick me up from school, leaving me there after they’d get my cousins. Prioritized everything my cousins had over anything I had. The worst having been the first time she went to rehab when I was fourteen.”

The omega takes in a deep breath as Felix pulls her closer to him for comfort and Chan places a hand on her thigh. “When I presented my family’s first reaction was to find a doctor who would administer the suppressant injections. The pack didn’t know and they were gonna make sure it stayed that way so every month, on the first, I was taken to that doctor to get the injection done. Wasn’t pleasant, it was painful, felt like it was burning in my veins for the first twenty four hours. I still went to school and graduated high school, even took a year of college. My mom was the main one who kept my food intake restricted to protein shakes and salads. Said that if I ate anything other than that then I would start to become curvier like an omega and they couldn’t have that. She got worse and she went to rehab for the second time when I was nineteen. Then again when I was twenty, then twenty two.”

“And again last week.” The boys were all shocked by this as their eyes widened. “My grandparents said I should stay with them while she's there since my older brother is nowhere to be found. Well at least that’s what they think, he was fed up with them and our mom that he moved to the northern side of Seoul and cut contact with all of them, but I’m the only one who knows that as he’s only kept in contact with me for the last year. He had tried to stay around as long as he could for my sake but he just couldn’t. I don't blame him. I should have realized that staying with my grandparents was a bad idea… They treated me as their maid and slave. I was fed up after the first day and told them I was going back to my house, that I’d be fine by myself. My grandfather said I don’t get to talk to them like that and how I’m a spoiled little bitch that they’ve been going easy on. How they’ve been so nice to me to help keep the illusion that I’m a beta but what they were telling me to do was how an actual omega is to be treated and I should act like one. I yelled at them about how they hate me being an omega and won’t let me be my true self so why would they treat me as such now?”

“That really pissed my grandfather off since he grabbed my wrist as hard as he could, dragging me across the house before… throwing me down the basement stairs. He continued to yell at me as I had gotten up trying to run up the stairs and maybe get past him but he blocked my exit causing me to run into him. After I fell back onto the top step he kicked me in the ribs pushing me down the concrete stairs again, hitting every step on the way down to the bottom. He shut and locked the door and turned the power off down there.” Y/n could feel how angry they all are at this point, the alphas growling softly, the betas clenching their fists, jaws locked, and Felix is now holding her protectively. “Even though I couldn’t see I could feel the bruising and the gash on my arm bleeding. I was kept down there for three days in complete darkness, with nothing to eat or drink. The day you found me was my aunt's birthday so they were letting me out to set up and prepare for it. It was the only opportunity I had so as soon as I was let upstairs I ran for it out the door, only able to grab my car keys on my way out. They yelled at me that if I leave then to never come back, saying that the family and pack would be better off without me. I drove as far as I could with what gas I had left. I thought about going to my brothers but I knew I didn’t even have enough gas to make it to the city or any money to get more. So when my car dinged in need of gas I pulled over as the first public place I saw.”

“The park.” Jisung is in tears as he clings onto Chan and Y/n nodes as she can feel Felix shaking as he holds her, knowing he’s also crying as he buries his face in her neck.

“What would you have done if we hadn’t been there?” Chan grips her thigh. 

“I honestly don’t know.” She whispers and grabs his hand trying to hold back her own tears.

“What do you wanna do now?” Minho hugs Jisung from behind as he leans over to look at her. “If you wish, we can take you to your brother's place.”

“Minho?” Jeongin lowly growls. 

“No Innie, he’s right.” Changbin sighs. “We said it was up to you, pretty girl. If you want to stay you’re welcome to but we aren’t going to force you. So we can take you to your brother if that’s what you want.”

“But you have to promise to keep in touch with us if you do.” Hyunjin smiles at her.

“You guys truly want me to stay?” She looks at each of them in hope. “All of you?”

They all nod in agreement giving a course of ‘yes’s’.

“Then I’d like to please stay.” She whispers and they all sigh in relief. “Is there any chance I’d be able to call my brother though, so I can tell him what happened and that I’m alright?”

“Of course, baby girl.” Chan lifts her chin to look at him. “Just let one of us know when and you can use our phones to do so.”

“We need to take you to get clothes here soon, while we do that we can get you a new phone set up too.” Jeongin stands up and comes around to pull her from Felix to hug her. “That way you will be able to stay in contact with him. You’re safe now, we promise that you’ll never have to go back to your grandparents again. You’re a part of our pack now.”

“Thank you.” She tears up.

Tag list: @pixie0627 @sinfulfic @estella-novella @mbioooo0000 @ms-flowergirl

@blindspot143 @ihrtlix @arishoriasims @fic-for-readers @motheraiya55

@hwangrfrnd @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @juskz @borahae-reads @dreamerwasfound

@galaxy4489 @kayleefriedchicken @lostgirlinthewoodss @catkight @royal-shinigami

@notevenheretbh1 @passionandsuga @m00njinnie @sukss

[maybanksprincess]

isnt the same without you.

warnings: comforting, fluff, insecurity, a little bit of blood.

summary: jj goes to a party without reader for the first time, and when jjs phone dies, she starts to overthink. (based off this ask, thank you anon!)

a/n: this is sort of short because its just a blurb, but i really love this request, its so cute!

pairings: insecure!reader x soft!bf!jj

you weren't feeling up to this big party that everyone was attending tonight. unfortunately, you and jj were planning to go for a few weeks now, and since you didn't wanna go, you didn't wanna stop him from attending it as well.

he insisted that he would stay home and look after you, he offered to buy you snacks and even watch those cheesy romcoms that he absolutely despises, but he tolerates them because you love them.

but you assured him it was okay, and he can go even if it made you feel a little uneasy.

you had never done well with being away from jj for long periods of time, let alone him going to a party without you. but you told yourself to 'grow up' and 'stop being a baby' about it. you needed to get a grip.

you decide to text him about an hour in, just to make sure he was safe, and then you promised yourself you would stop bothering him after that.

imessage:

11:01 pm: hey jay! im just checking in to make sure your okay, i dont wanna bother you or anything so im gonna let you have fun! bye i love you <3

-

you chew your nails, anxiously waiting on a response from your boyfriend.

about five minutes went by, and you were constantly picking up your phone, swiping up for any sign that he had read the text or responded. but there was nothing.

you waited another ten minutes, then got back to anxiously checking it again, still nothing. delivered.

you told yourself your being dramatic, and went to occupy yourself with doing the dishes, and sweeping the kitchen floor. by the time you had gotten back to your room about fifteen minutes later, there was still nothing.

you toss your phone down onto the bed, feeling frustrated but also upset at the same time. had he been hooking up with another girl? is he drinking too much? what if hes talking to someone else?

all these thoughts cloud your mind, and you find yourself biting down on the skin beside your nail bed. as your chewing away at your skin, your phone dings unexpectedly, causing you to jump a bit, tearing a piece of your skin off. (ouch.)

the sting of the bare skin makes your eyes water a little, a bead of blood trickling down your finger. "ow." you mumble, before picking up your phone and looking at whoever texted you.

it was jj. all your pain was instantly forgotten the moment you seen his text on your screen.

imessage

jayj🤍: "hey beautiful, im sorry i didnt text you back. i forgot my charger like a dumbass. but im at home now, and i didnt have fun. it was boring as shit without u baby."

you instantly reply to his message after reading it, your heart no longer feels like its carrying a weight anymore.

you: "thank you for texting, i was worried sick baby...i literally hurt my finger trying to answer the phone. I thought you might've been cheated on me or something."

you send that text with a underlying hint of insecurity in it, hoping he wont just brush you off. your in need of some reassurance from him right now.

jayj🤍: "baby you hurt your finger?!! and what do u mean 'cheat on you'? thats not even possible for me mama."

the next text eases your worries a bit, but you wanted to get everything off your chest.

you: "i just hate being without you for a long period of time, i wish i would've let you stay in with me tonight, but i know how excited you were for the party."

jayj🤍: "oh baby, no. parties are not the same without you. i would never cheat on you, im sorry if i made you feel that way, but that isn't me. you know your stuck with me forever mama, whether you like it or not."

now all your worries and insecurities are instantly gone, touched by your boyfriend's loyalty to you.

after you let yourself think for a moment, you remember the minor injury you caused yourself a few minutes back and wince slightly at the sting.

as if exactly on cue, jj double texts you.

jayj🤍: "oh and im on my way with some bandaids and snacks, i love you baby. unlock the door for me beautiful."

after he sends that text, you hear jjs dirtbike pull up.

[merchantziro]

Of course this had to happen now.

The first time Kyle and Jessica were back on Earth in months, and a Green Lantern needed help.

But Hal and John were off with other major Justice League members for an intergalactic mission while Guy and Simon were taking care of Sinestro elsewhere in the Galaxy (Which was why the two were on Earth in their place)

Arriving on the scene, somewhere in Illinois, they found the scene as a teen who looked barely out of high school was defending himself from agents in white suits firing blasters firing green energy at him.

On closer inspection, the teen was wearing a typical Lantern Uniform but it was primarily black and white with only a bit of green like Kyle's uniform. It appeared to resemble a Hazmat Suit, with a matching pair of black goggles that had green lenses in them. In the center of his chest the Lantern Symbol was around some symbol combining a D & P.

Eventually one shot hit his leg as it bled a green substance, he wasn't human or at least not fully. Did an alien crash land on Earth and get attacked by these agents? Either way concerning violations or the Meta Protection Act aside, they had a priority to step in as both fellow Green Lanterns and as members of the Justice League.

"Halt. Cease your fire at once!" Jessica shouted as the two landed.

"More of you spooks? Doesn't matter how many ghosts there are." One of the agents finally noticed them before aiming their blasters towards the newcomers while the other went towards the ghost boy.

This perked up the Lanterns as the blasts hit them, it strung but barely did much more unlike what happened to the teen. Was it something he was weak to... Questions for later.

Kyle chuckled at the agents own confusion at their weapons lack of effect. "Ghosts? No... I believe you're mistaken, we're as human as anyone else on Earth. And as Green Lanterns we have a duty... To protect!"

"But that ring, it radiated ecto energy... In the name of the Anti Ecto Control Acts we demand you surrender and turn your rings in. You're not fully Ecto Contaminated yet and we can help yo-"

They were cut off as a giant green bulldozer shoved them into a green cage that lifted them into the air.

"Enough. You can spout whatever nonsense you're going on about to the Justice League I'm sure they'd love to hear why you're attacking this boy." Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Phantom's a ghost, just an unfeeling pile of ectoplasmic scum! It's a non-sentient creature that knows nothing but violence. What makes you two so sure it's anything otherwise?" One of the Agents shouted back.

The boy, Phantom as they called him, looked down at their statements denying his sentience.

"That's bullshit."

Kyle walked forward as held up a fist, his ring glowed brightly on it as he got Phantom's attention.

"These rings of ours. They sense and are powered by the power of emotions of others. Not just anyone can use them. And in order to become a Green Lantern..."

He looked at Phantom.

"You have a high level of Willpower and be capable of overcoming your own fears even in the face of danger and evil."

This caused the ghost boy to smile softly.

The Agents looked perplexed, appearing to consider Kyle's words. Before finally giving their response.

"Ha! Nice try! Whatever ghost told you that is probably just trying to manipulate you into protecting Phantom! Once we clear this up with the Justice League, he'll be ripped apart molecule by molecule!"

Kyle frowned before looking at Jessica who summoned a bat to crack them both on the head and knock them out from blunt force trauma alone.

"You handle this, I'll talk to the kid." Kyle looked at Jessica who nodded and took the Agents off to the nearest Zeta.

Meanwhile Kyle crouched down at the kid.

"Hey don't let those guys bum you out, but you're a Lantern right?"

The ghost looked at his ring before tilting his head.

"I guess, but... I don't understand what this and what it means to be a Green Lantern."

Ah. So he got the ring recent recent. Like just now.

"Ah. I see. In that case, Kyle Rayner of Earth..."

He extended a hand out, hesitantly. Which Danny took.

"Danny Phantom... Of... Well it's complicated to explain and... Oh... Fuuu..."

He then finally collapsed and coughed violently, likely he's only been standing because of adrenaline.

Before Kyle could respond, two silver rings appeared around his body as his uniform swapped the white and black while his wispy white hair turned to a normal black. The green of his blood turned a proper red. He went from... Ghost as those men called him, to a human.

"Shit!"

Kyle lifted the young one up as he carried him off in the same direction of the Zeta that Jessica was going towards. He needed to get to the Watchtower and get the kid some medical attention.

Of course this had to happen now.

The What Corps?

“we have you now spook! there is nowhere you can run and hide with our new spectral tethers active!”

Danny winces at the small metal clips that have hooked themselves in his leg, some new GIW tech that is messing with his powers.

“oh yeah? I was just dying for you guys to give me a challenge” plan. plan. He's gotta think of a plan to get out of here and fast. He takes a steadying breath and starts to look for anything that can help him.

he can’t get caught here. He just can't. He simply won’t allow himself.

suddenly the two GIW goons in front of him click their earpieces to clearly listen to what someone else is telling them, Danny is very glad for his own enhanced senses.

“Operatives K and O, be advised, there have been sightings of a new ectoplasmic entity near your location. Other operatives report that it’s incredibly small and moves fast. watch your backs, this may be an ambush”

small and fast? it better not be some poor little blob ghost, Danny sort of hopes it’s some manner of ectowasp, at least that could be entertaining to see.

“you better not be hoping for back up, ecto scum”

“I have no idea what you are talking about”

It's then that a small bright green light zips on scene and weaves through crowds in the distance with ease and then speeds up towards the two operatives who do not hesitate to shoot, missing completely like the storm troopers they are.

Whatever it is, it is indeed going very fast but Danny manages to figure out what it looks like and it appears to be a… ring?

“hold it you tiny accessory shaped ecto fiend!”

The ring does a speedy circle around Operative O while K is lining up a shot and ends up blasting the poor guy point blank in his face, “O!”

Danny takes a step forward with an arm outstretched and a “oh damn! Are you alright?” on his lips when the ring takes the chance to slip on his finger. “Daniel Fenton of Earth”

Danny already had a freakout about a ghost jewelry getting on him, his experiences with those so far have been incredibly bad after all, what with the rings and crowns and pendants… now this damn thing is just straight up outing him! 

Thank the ancients the two GIW stooges are too busy with each other right now to pay close attention to what this weird ring is saying.

“You have the ability to overcome great fear” ah so this is related to him steeling himself just now? Maybe? or something??

You have been chosen” never good, we are back to freaking out again.

“Welcome to the green lantern corps” 

… the what?

Danny notices that his usual outfit suddenly has more green going on, and his DP symbol has some sort of… he guess it’s supposed to be a lantern, maybe? shape around it.

He’s somehow even more glowy now, and there is something on his face. Feeling its shape makes him think it’s some sort of mask.

The metal clip things are no longer attached to his legs though so that’s great!

“You’re not getting away so easily ecto scum! sentient ghost paraphernalia coming to your rescue or no!” They both aim their weapons to take a shot.

Danny figures he can now easily hold them back with his usual shields,“you guys realize you just called this weird ring sentient and thereby negate the whole nonsentie-ack!”

“Attacking a corps lantern is punishable offense as of the instatement of the galactic diplomatic immunity as declared by the-” Okay so now Danny is just raising his eyebrow at this weird as fuck ring. Just what is it going on about?

“notifying nearby lanterns and requesting assistance with apprehension of hostiles”

what?

“getting your friends to help you out vile spook? such a thing is useless with the Blackout still very much in place”

Well… the two streaks of green light in the distance is making Danny doubt that statement.

Maybe there is more to this Lantern corps thing than he thought… And something tells him his life is about to get even more complicated than it already is.

[seeker-ophelia]

Mythal, Solas, and Lavellan

So there’s lots of discussion about Mythal and Solas, and we need to talk about it.

I too, at first, was mad that Lavellan wasn’t enough for Solas.

And then I started thinking about it.

Not only was Mythal his mother, his creator, she coaxed him into being. Into changing his spirit and his purpose.

Regret Number 1.

He let her use his knowledge and wisdom to do a terrible thing, to kill (tranquil) the titans, changing a whole race of people at a molecular magical level.

Regret Number 2.

When that choice created the worst power known to Thedas (the blight) he was responsible again. And Mythal asked him to step up and fight against it, and he did. And a lot of people died.

Regret 3.

Mythal DIED. (IMO The gods blighted her because she stood against them for wanting to use the blight but that’s not important here). And Solas blames himself.

From Solas’ perspective, he is her puppy. Her Emerald Knight. Her General. Her Protector. Her Wisdom. Her servant, her SLAVE. He is BOUND TO HER. And he caused her downfall.

And you’re all like, GEAS! GEAS!

But wait.

From HIS perspective.

Rook says something somewhere along the lines of like, by abstainsing from being the good guy (oh wait maybe it was Varric in the fade…)

By choosing to be the villain instead of the hero is he absolving himself of the guilt (regret) that comes from having to have made those choices.

From Solas’ perspective, he is her slave.

LOOK AT HIS BODY LANGUAGE.

He is a worm in the dirt in front of her. He is a scolded child, a puppy with his tail between his legs.

But in the eyes of Mythal, he was always her friend. The one person who had always stood by her. She did not literally entrap him, or bind him. It was all in Solas’ own head.

He refused to take accountability for his actions, only able to survive through the crushing weight of his own guilt by blaming it on servitude to Mythal.

That’s why Rook escaped the prison. Because she faced her own choices, choices with terrible consequences, and accepted them. Took responsibility for them, and promised to do better.

Remember, after the Temple of Mythal…

Solas…

You gave yourself into the service of an ancient elvhen god!

What does that mean exactly?

You are Mythal’s creature now, everything you do whether you know it or not will be for her. *** You have given up a part of yourself.

***THIS WAS NEVER TRUE. IT WAS NOT TRUE FOR FLEMYTHAL & MORRIGAN, NOR WAS IT TRUE FOR ABELAS, NOR WAS IT TRUE FOR SOLAS. HE JUST WANTED TO BELIVE THAT IT WAS.

…I suppose it is better you have the power than Corypheus. Which leads to the next logical question… What will you do with the power of the Well once Corypheus is dead?

The war proved that we can’t go back to the way things were. I’ll try to help this world move forward. **Lavellan is talking about the mage/templar conflict, but Solas is putting her in his own shoes. Solas reached for power he could not control and fucked the whole world up.

You would risk everything you have with the hope that the future is better? What if it isn’t? What if you wake up to find that the future you shaped is worse than what was? **

**This is literally him asking her what she would do in his shoes. He woke up and the world was in chaos OF HIS MAKING. To prevent an evil HE CAUSED from spreading, he orchestrated the downfall of the people he loved and swore to protect.

I’ll take a breath, see where things went wrong, and then try again.

Just like that?

*He is in shock that she can be so cavalier about the guilt that has rocked him for (4?) millennia.

If we don’t keep trying, we’ll never get it right.

*And this is the only thing that calms him down.

You’re right. Thank You.

For what?

You have not been what I expected, Inquisitor, you have… impressed me.

You have offered hope that is one keeps trying, even if the consequences are grave… that someday, things will be better.

Then, of course, he takes this to mean that he needs to try to put The Evanuris in a different prison and take down the veil which isn’t at all what we meant sweetie but that’s okay get up and try again.

This is a classic case of a person in power not understanding the terrible, horrible consequences of unfettered power imbalances. Because Solas was always Friend to Mythal (Im not going into Freudian sex shit with you weirdos right now).

Solas was Mythals FRIEND.

Mythal was Solas’ EVERYTHING.

co·de·pend·en·cy

/ˌkōdəˈpend(ə)nsē/

noun

excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner,

His Mother, General, Creator, Protector, Queen, Goddess.

And he loved her so fiercely with every fiber of his new, physical being.

And he hated it.

And when Lavellan fell for him, and he for her, he was afraid.

Because he would never force a spirit against her purpose, and in his eyes the only way to love is the sick and twisted way he loved Mythal.

But again, from Mythal’s perspective, it wasn’t twisted. Solas was just Solas. And once again the powerful care not for the thoughts and opinions of those beneath them.

And that sin is on Mythal.

And that’s why she comes out and talks to Solas. Both aspects of her. To release him from the bonds that never existed. Be free, friend. You always were, but if you need me to say it I will because I love you.

“I pulled you from the fade and sent you into war. I used your wisdom as a weapon… and it broke you.”

Cole: Is there a way to save more spirits, Solas?

Solas: Not until the Veil is healed. The rifts draw spirits through, and the shock makes demons of them.

Cole: Pushing through makes you be yourself. You can hold onto the you. Being pulled through means you don't have enough you. You become what batters you, bruises your being.

Be free.

“The things that I have done…”

“Are not for you to bear alone, my friend. The many wrongs we did, we did together.”

And he COWERS before her. Shaking and shuddering. FNALLY being absolved of the guilt he’s carried since his inception.

“I release you from my service.”

And he SOBBS. At the RELIEF.

And Lavellan kneels before him (wrong, IMO because they should be equals but its fine)

And he can go back to his original purpose.

Not Pride.

Not Knowledge.

Not even Wisdom.

But Protection.   

“My life force now sustains the veil. With every breath I take, I will protect the innocent from my past failures.”

The Shepherds Wolf. Protecting his flock from those who would do them harm.

And Lavellan promises it won’t be terrible, as long as they’re together.

And maybe Solas can try this different kind of love. A love built on respect, and trust, instead of fear, and obedience.

And he can be his purpose, Protection, and also be a man. And love his vhenan.

Because he is free.

[deliciousnecks]

i have to talk about this because i noticed this since the beginning of the season. i appreciate how nandor went to call guillermo out on his shit, because he's right to do so. and yeah, i know that these two have done each other dirty on many occasions, but we are always pointing out nandor's flaws and not guillermo's.

just like guillermo went around fixing things for nandor, getting him out of trouble, nandor did the same for him, time and time again. the vampires wanted to kill him, and the dude really spent days trying to convince him not to. just like guillermo, nandor also has gone around cleaning guillermo's shit. it's true what he said, he kept covering for all his fuck ups.

guillermo humiliated nandor by getting turned by someone else, nandor forgives him, kills derek so he can be human again, so he can be happy again! and what does guillermo do next? he's like "ok, toodles, I'm done here. Have a nice life, got what I wanted, bye!" he really went ahead and continued with his life as if never had ever happened, never bothering thinking of the consequences of his actions, of the damage he was causing, and yeah, something that could be understandable if he had been any other familiar, but guillermo really liked to go around calling these vampires his family.

even on this episode, Guillermo can't see that he is the cause of this, nadja lets him know of this, and he really ignores the comment as if it was nothing. for him, at first, this whole "tantrum" that nandor is throwing (because that's how he sees it), it's just because "he's killing it" as if nandor were jealous of him still having his job, and despite the conversation taking a different tone as things moved forward, i still don't think that guillermo still gets how much him leaving has affected nandor, his decision to not be a vampire and how easily he stepped out of nandor's life and move onto his human life, without ever looking back twice. he can't see that this whole behavior comes from a place of pain.

and yes, he's not wrong. despite everything that happened, nandor always remained loyal to guillermo.

and as i have said all these years, guillermo is selfish. guillermo already has what he wants, his human life and a job where he's thriving, and at the moment he can't see further than that. he's so blind to the reality around him, that he doesn't realize that he's in the same position he was a few months ago.

[musevinnie]

ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ ᴊᴇᴀʟᴏᴜꜱʏ - ᴠɪɴɴɪᴇ ʜᴀᴄᴋᴇʀ

Description : You recently got hook up into a otome game called Love and DeepSpace. You found it through tiktok, there was one particular character that has caught your attention.

Warning: none

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁

"Babe. Babe. Babeee."

Vinnie has been trying to get your attention for the past hour. But all you can do is be glued to your iPad.

"BABE!!!" he whined and shook your arm.

You glanced up at him for a split second. "What happened Vin?"

He groaned and slightly glared at you. "What do you mean "what happened". I want your attention and you been ignoring me cause you are on your damn iPad playing that stupid game with that ugly guy"

You through a pillow at him. "Leave Sylus out of this. Just give me a few minutes."

Recently you came across this game called Love and Deep Space. It's a otome with action and sci-fit kick to it. And there are four love interest, your favorite being Sylus.

Vinnie rolled his eyes and got out of the bed knowing damn well it wasn't just gonna be a few minutes. It wasn't the game itself that annoyed Vinnie. It was more so how you kept going on and on of how hot/sexy Sylus was.

It might sound dumb but Vinnie hated how jealous he was of a damn pixel. A quick thought came into Vinnie's mind. He was gonna hide your iPad, because no iPad. No Sylus.

The next day came back from running errands and the first thing you went to go was to get your iPad. What took you off guard was that it wasn't in your usual spot.

You went back into the living room and seeing Vinnie couch.

"Hi baby have you seen my iPad" you asked him

Vinnie looked the other way trying to ignore you. He looked down at Hera who was laying down next to him on the couch.

"You heard something Hera? It sounded like a buzzing" He said while petting her.

But all Hera did was jump off the couch and went into the bedroom.

"Trader" Vinnie mumbled

"Vincent" you called out to him

"What?" he pouted

"What is with the pouting" you asked him trying hard not to laugh.

"Oh I don't know maybe because MY girlfriend. MINE. not that ugly pixel is ignoring me for him" he said while folding his arms

You had to cover your mouth so you wouldn't laugh. "Are you talking about Sylus? Babe it just a game" you go over to try and give him a kiss. But he turns his head away.

"No go kiss Sylus" he pouted

You let out a chuckle. "I really wish I could you know" You joked to poke at him

He let out a huff and was about to get up but to pulled him back down. He still wasnt looking at you.

You shook your head and kisses his cheek. "Bebe I'm joking. I'm sorry."

He finally looked at you still having a pout. He sighs and pulls you on his lap rest his head on the crook of your neck.

"You're mine. I don't care if it's a game. You're my girl not his and I want all your attention."

You smiled and kissed his lips. "I'm sorry baby I guess I have been a little too obsessed with playing. How about tonight just you and me and we have a movie night."

Finally you saw a smile on your goofy boyfriend's face. "Yes baby I liked that."

"Oh and Vinnie?" you said

He hummed in response.

"Where is my iPad?" You asked him

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"In the dirty laundry basket"

[korya-elana]

Your doctor isn't always right.

This'll be a long one. No tl;dr

I see a lot of rhetoric about "doctor shopping" and "your doctor is obviously right, quit trying to claim an illness that isn't yours" and other such nonsense. So I'm here to tell you why these guys suck and why they're wrong.

I'd like everyone to keep in mind that I am studying brain science, I readily admit that, due to my health issues, I could have died without my doctors. I am firmly pro-science and pro-medicine. However.

I was actually going to type up this post a few weeks back and then the universe smacked me with a relevant situation. For some context, I recently moved back to Ohio. I had lived in NY for the past few years due to traumatic circumstances and had not received any care for my disabilities at the time. Considering one of my issues is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (my joints and connective tissue are loosey-goosey and don't work right) and EDS causes me severe pain from constant rib dislocations/subluxations, I went to go get pain management from a specialist as soon as I was back.

This "specialist" (literally the head of the relevant department) told me there was no way that I had EDS despite my relevant testing and family history, started testing me for the WRONG illness (Marfan's, which you can tell by looking at me I do not have) and then, despite his admittance he doesn't know much about EDS, proclaimed I don't have it and it wasn't worth seeking any help. And he obviously did shit for my pain. He also said this about my proven autoimmunity.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. At the ripe old age of 30 and relatively good health despite my disabilities, I had a real stroke. Not only is this highly unusual for my age and health, it was a very, very specific type of stroke that is highly indicative of a much more dangerous type of EDS than my previous specialists had ever thought. And now I need extremely expensive and hard-to-get approved genetic testing. I have therapies several times a week and in a month I see a neurologist. Specifically, a stroke specialist where I will likely be the youngest person in the waiting room by at least 20 years.

This doctor could have killed me. He could have permanently crippled me beyond repair due to his advice. I legitimately thought I was dying. I have lost parts of my life and activities vital to my sense of self that I will never get back and I am very early on a very long road to recovery. Because my doctor was wrong. And I'll sure as shit be suing him.

So if you think your doctor is wrong, I want you to ignore every single asshole tumblerite telling you that your doctor knows best and knows better than you do. Seek that second opinion. Or your third! Or your fourth! I went through five doctors before I found one that actually knew what he was talking about and could help my dysautonomia symptoms for real. There is merit to talking about diagnosis hunting and being more sure than you should be. But doctors are not perfect. Malpractice kills people. Follow your gut feeling and find someone who knows how to talk about it. Shutting up and ignoring that feeling could get you hurt.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

the scent wafts in, her name making him beg on his knees chap 5 || touya x fem!reader [modern au]

chapter summary: Touya takes a trip down memory lane, reliving all his days as a host and how it changed his world for the worse.

themes: mentions of prostitution, sex, SA, abuse, violence, etc. (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

notes: this one really has heavy themes and I want you all to be aware of the warning cause yeah; oh btw this is fem! reader but all is written in 3rd POV so y/n will be referred to as "she/her"

masterlist

Touya knew about sex when he was a child, and no amount of porn and eavesdropping could make him discover this fact. It wasn't like he accidentally found a stash of porn magazines or DVDs in the house or he walked in on someone doing it. He knew about it when the adults were talking, specifically his grandparents (more like his mom's parents). They were talking about Rei having another child with Enji after Fuyumi, and that's when he heard the word he shouldn't have.

Sex.

He knew about that word when he was tasked to fill out his basic contact information, and what he knew about it was his gender. It took him a bit of searching on a random dictionary to understand what it really was, and he suddenly dropped the book as he covered his mouth in shock. The gasp he was about to let in suffocated him as he deduced things in his head and learned later on how the birth of Natsuo and Shouto changed a lot of things in his perspective.

Sex. Intercourse. Coitus. It was all a chore his parents did to bear an heir for the Endeavor Corp. But for his childish mind, they were trying to replace him, and it made him see red.

He wanted to say he was good enough to be like Enji, to be his successor. But no, Enji rejected the idea of him being the next CEO. For Enji, Touya was not good enough. He didn't need an heir who drives himself mad when he can't achieve perfection. He doesn't need an heir who shows weakness in his sleeve.

It ruined Touya that he couldn't look at relationships the same way as he entered puberty. Whenever he sees a few of his classmates dating or talking about "Hey, I stayed over at my girl's place when her parents were away" or "Well, I couldn't ignore her especially when she's being like that to me," it made him think: Relationships are a facade. Romance is a lie. Virginity is a concept they play to make themselves feel they attained innocence. Pleasure is just the side effect of it, but it's nothing.

------

He was 22 when he agreed with the manager's suggestion to have side work as a host for a club at the Red District every Monday and Friday. Honestly, he half-expected a few customers to ask for a kiss on the first try or even a hug or basically any form of physical intimacy. Surprisingly, most of them only wanted male attention, someone to talk to when they get off work or when things get stressed out, or just a harmless, casual date because they couldn't find a man that would give them the treatment they wanted.

Another thing Touya learned: he didn't have to act like he was so nice like a Prince Charming like some of the hosts do. He was just naturally there, talking when he was supposed to talk and serving them drinks like the gentleman they thought him to be. So there were no hookups or casual sex or any bookings of hotel rooms afterward.

That was until he met his regular customers that things took a downturn for him.

------

1. The one who's visibly disgusted by the man she would be marrying

Touya met her every Friday, and he already knew from the get-go that she was the typical rich daughter who went by her parents' bidding; someone who never touched bad things. Well, except that night. She decided to go to the Red District for the first time and heard about this secret host you can book. He had heard her family name somewhere, probably when he was still in high school since Enji and Rei would have the four of them attend important events. It only occurred to him then how popular she was with the way the other hosts were staring and whispering to themselves.

It was when the other hosts talked to him in the locker room and told him that she was hiding a lot from the media because apparently, she was marrying this famous celebrity producer who went after gravure models; that it was an arranged marriage and she obviously abhorred the fact that she was getting wed off to an old geezer.

When she talked to him about meeting up with her on a Saturday night at a booked hotel room, Touya already knew what she was up to. There was extra money involved, plus her promise that she wouldn't be booking his services after. The arrangement worked well with him, setting aside his personal feelings over the matter, as he had sex with her, making it seem like he knew the ropes when he clearly did not. Everything was all thanks to porn and all those gravure magazines he saw from his classmates in high school.

When she cried afterwards, something about being relieved that she didn't spend her first time with a perverted old man, that was when Touya's heart constricted with heaviness. He didn't understand what he felt back then, but after leaving the hotel, he spent away the last of his expenses drinking and smoking before returning to work like nothing.

------

2. The one whose loneliness cannot be fulfilled by her own husband

He dreaded this one regular, and he wished he told the manager that he didn't want to entertain this woman. The first time she booked Touya, he thought she was just a regular customer who wanted nothing from him until she started placing her hand on his thigh one night, and a few nights after, she asked if they could meet outside. Touya was stressed over her and her silly antics, even though she was just asking him to eat lunch at her recommended fancy restaurants and stroll around town.

Well, it wasn't like she was overly clingy or demanding; it was the fact that Touya had no idea what she had under all that nice adult woman facade. It was only when they met up at a coffee shop that she told him about her circumstances. She said, "My husband and I cannot divorce, and he knew about this arrangement and didn't mind as long as no one knew. I also don't mind since he has been sleeping with other women for as long as I can remember." This irked Touya and reminded him of his parents' arranged marriage. He knew they didn't cheat on each other, but it made him think about how the media and paparazzi painted the Todoroki family as a loving family with toothy grins and blooming flowers.

What made this situation worse for Touya was how the woman decided he meet her every weekend at her shared house with her husband. Touya had already met the man, and he knew from one look that all he cared about was knowing who his wife was sleeping with and reminding him that the two of them were only to have a sexual relationship and nothing else (not like he was looking forward to moving things further with a client anyway).

They would always have sex in the guest room assigned for them, but sometimes the wife would take a risk and have them go all the way to the master's bedroom. She would reason out that it wasn't like her husband was so faithful not to bring women there inside since she caught them before in the said room. Touya learned she was insatiable as hell and would try a lot of her fantasies on him because her husband deprived her of trying out exciting things.

Their last sex was of Touya wrapping her legs around his hips as her back hit the bathroom wall and the hot shower poured down on them. After the high, Touya told her he wouldn't be entertaining her anymore since the risk of their arrangement was catching up on him.

------

3. The one who wanted the boyfriend experience

This one was simple, and Touya kind of liked her because he was able to forget his shitty childhood and family issues. She basically became a friend in many ways, and her reason for hiring Touya was because she wanted the boyfriend experience, kind of like having a secret lover especially now that she had gone adulthood and wanted companionship. Touya wouldn't say it was fun being with her. It was just okay. She would ask him to hold hands or ruffle her hair or tell her the corniest shit that he had ever said (he was still embarrassed remembering it, but he managed to set aside his shame over her.)

It became apparent that something was amiss when she visited on a Friday night, displaying unease and nervousness, punctuating the air with sighs as he handed her the drink. He was about to speak when she blurted out, "There's a guy at work, and he said he saw me with you, and he confessed. He asked me if I wanted to date." Her face was beet red as she made a mess of her hair, probably remembering the said confession in her head. "Dabi-kun, what should I do?! Do you think I'm a good dating material?"

Touya wasn't in love with her, but the way things were happening, there was that familiar feeling again when he had sex for the first time with his first regular. That dark pit in his stomach prompted him to do something bad and run away instead of facing them properly. It was easier to drown everything

He placed the glass on the table and said, "Give it a try. You never know what might happen."

He never saw her after that, and he didn't take customers for a while. He spent his weekends drinking and smoking until he fell asleep.

------

4. The one who struggles with a husband's cuckolding kink

Touya was weirded out by this customer because usually, it was only the woman who stayed in the room waiting for him as he served them one of his best alcohol concoctions. It was on a Monday night when he had a married couple as his client. Great. Before, it was often the wife who came in here. Now, they bring their husbands into the mix, he thought bitterly as he sat on the couch. At first, it was awkward with the way the wife was trying to lighten up the mood by telling fun stories as her husband drank and watched them from the corner. Honestly, Touya could not care. At least he was getting his usual drink. If this evening turned out shitty, then so be it.

Suddenly, the husband stood up and knelt traditionally (seiza-style), bowing before Touya as he begged, "Please have sex with my wife!"

The wife went to his side as Touya stopped midway from his drink, his mood worsening as he was yet again reminded of this one regular. However, this time he thinks it is different as the wife assures him there is no need for him to kneel and beg because she can do fine without sex, which the husband is opposed to. And the two went on to discuss his cuckolding kink, how he would only get turned on and have sex with her once he was done having sex with someone else.

Touya narrowed his eyes in disgust, leaning on the couch as his cold voice cut through the conversation.

"Aren't you two being rude?"

The couple were ashamed, bowing at him for their lack of respect and quickly explaining about the matter at hand. According to the couple, they've been having problems in the sex department because of the husband's cuckolding kink, something about getting turned on by the fantasy of his wife having sex with someone. Touya obviously groaned in disgust and was about to protest, dismissing their request and not wanting to partake in their weird shenanigan, something about the charade setting him off even further than before. The husband wanted him to have sex with his wife just so he could take her afterward. How revolting. Why did the manager let them in this place?

"This will only happen once, please!" The husband added. "We will make a formal contract." Then he gave him his business card. "You can call me if you change your mind."

Of course, Touya doesn't call him. He doesn't care. He will do the usual. Yeah, he tells himself this as he realizes he needs more stash of money so he can live for the next month (not like he was running out; he was just being careful.) So he finally succumbs to temptation and calls the man up, meeting them in a fancy restaurant as Touya read through the contents of the contract.

The contract was fair and just for all parties, though. For one, the husband will not watch or record Touya and his wife having sex or any act similar to the matter. It also indicated that this would only be a one-time thing between the three of them and Touya will be paid a hefty amount on the same day the act will commence. Touya also added a few things in the agreement, which included no BDSM or anything similar and that he would not be doing any acts that would "impregnate" the wife (since a few of his customers before liked the idea of breeding, and he didn't love it.)

When all was said and done, Touya got into the business and did everything like how he did before, masking all his emotions and pretending there was so much pleasure and thrill in embracing another man's wife when there wasn't. It was vile even, knowing that the husband was willing for his wife to be disrespected just so he could give her the love she deserved. The worst part? She liked touching him, hugging him close as he thrust even further, or kissing his lips like she owned him. Touya wanted to push her away and tell her, this was just sex and she was crossing some sort of boundary. Then again, she was a customer. It's not like he hadn't been paid to give a kiss before.

Afterwards, he took a shower and left without a word, carrying the check with a large sum as he headed to the bank that day. Touya slept that night convincing himself everything was a nightmare; a horrible shit he went through because he needed to survive.

------

5. The one who likes sharing everything with her bestfriend

Touya had been hearing stories from other hosts about some customers booking them together and having awesome threesomes, that there was no greater feeling in the world than having more than one woman with you in bed. He wished he had the same sentiment because honestly, he doesn't find what's so fun about threesomes. It was tiring and disgusting beyond means, and he still couldn't fathom the fact of sharing a lover with another in bed. Gross. Gross. GROSS.

But he had to experience it because of two women; one, a sultry vixen who believes the world is in the palm of her hands, the other an alluring shadow of her own existence competing to be in the spotlight. The first one meets Touya every Monday and the other on Fridays, and he could see a recurring pattern in the way they both lead conversations. The vixen liked herself so much, and it was apparent. So apparent Touya could even bring a tall mirror and face it on her so she would brag about how this one guy tried to seduce him at the bar a few nights ago or when her co-worker's boyfriend tried to date her in secret. She would even mention being scouted as a model but rejected all offers as she wanted to be an IT developer.

On the other hand, her bestfriend was shy but nonetheless had this air of confidence. Touya could even remember how one of the staff members asked him about her because the guy genuinely was attracted to the way she was so elegant and dainty. Her posture screamed princess vibes as she held her glass of champagne and talked to Touya about her modeling job. Touya could even tolerate this one better than the other as she wasn't being a bitch when they have an actual conversation (because he swore he dreaded every Monday seeing her).

Until one time, the two of them asked him to have sex with each of them on different days as a part of his off-duty job. Touya was already guessing, "They're gonna invite me to a threesome soon" because the way they had sex with him was always "Did she do this to you?" or "Am I more fun than her?" like they were openly comparing themselves to each other to him. And he knew they talked about it. There was no doubt.

And they did. They invited him because they shared things with each other. Because they liked the same guys. They hated the same guys. They loved the same things. They also hated the same things. They're twins from different mothers, and Touya only wished that this whole shit would go down the drain and this would be the last he would have them, thrusting up and down as the two women ground their pussies on his shaft. Their throaty moans were getting mixed in, and he bit his lip to hide his moan because there was no way he liked this. He hated this. Hated everything with every fiber of his being.

After the whole stint, Touya finally handed in his resignation letter and left. He was tired of pleasing people; weary from all this nasty chore he had been doing for the sake of living in hell.

------

Touya later learns that love and sex can coexist. When he encountered his (only) ex-girlfriend while working as a bartender at Shigaraki's bar, he found himself perplexed about how to navigate this new dynamic. They initially started as smoking buddies in the back of the building, exchanging crude jokes until they eventually exchanged phone numbers. He genuinely enjoyed spending time with her, but eventually, their connection faded into nothing.

Fun. It was what they only had next to nothing.

Her name was Ruka, and she had her long dark hair dyed blonde as she dressed in the same black outfits as him but feminine. She was all guts and foul curses, her red lips smirking teasingly. He knew from the moment they put a label on what they were that she would expect a lot from him as her boyfriend. Dates. Movies. Late-night talks. Smoking and drinking together. Hugging. Holding hands. Having sex. Touya tried his best to be the boyfriend she wanted even though he had zero idea of how to be one, and he believed at the time it was because they were dating. It turned out to him that he was simply repeating the same train of thought.

Dating is a chore. Sex is a chore. Relationships are nothing but a chore.

He was simply doing everything out of responsibility, not fully caring about himself or how Ruka would feel. He was a tad selfish that they fought a lot and he didn't swallow his pride or compromise even. He would go about his way proving his point and if he didn't, he would slam the door and leave for days, spending his nights at the bar and making it his new home. Ruka also held her pride so high she didn't even find him or apologize, and they would fall into this toxic pattern of seeing each other again after a few weeks then making out and having sex and brushing everything under the rug because emotions are getting into the way of their fun. There was no way they were ruining whatever this relationship was for a sappy one-on-one of calling each other out and promising to do better.

Touya didn't change, and he grew tired of being her dream boyfriend. He still leaves his clothes on the floor. He doesn't tell her where he went. He never goes the mile to update her. He drops by her space whenever he wanted to despite her telling him to just move in. He ghosts her and then comes back like nothing.

He was being pathetic, and she was being overbearing. She cries, thinking he will relent when he sees her tears. It doesn't change his mind though. He just gets worse. They would throw things at each other and curse. They would raise their middle fingers. They would throw hands and he'd give a punch in exchange for her slaps and hits.

Touya just left and never came back after.

------

"She was a lot different," Touya mentioned his girlfriend (the current one he thinks about so often) again to his therapist. "I know I told you this before, but the first time we did it, everything just made sense."

He didn't know how. He just felt it. It all came full circle. That morning had him almost running in fear, scared at the thought of going deeper with her because he knew he would hurt her. He will not give her whatever she wants. Those dreamy things from romance mangas? Those corny lines from romantic movies with sappy storylines? Consider them all trashed. There was no way he would give in.

But Touya will stay around. He knew to himself that he would die the moment this shit was all over; that she had changed her mind and wanted those romantic stints from the screens. But staying around didn't do it for him—especially for her. Just because he stayed around didn't mean he got what he wanted. He loved her, so, so much; yet she was sleeping with a man who's a figment of his own false identity. It was toying him upside down, especially with the way she looked at him with adoration and pure sincerity when he knew it wasn't really him.

"I want her to love me," he stressed out. "Only me."

next chap

masterlist

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 4

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.4

"If we’re going to get to the pit of this peach we gotta get some variables outta the way first. I need a scan of his brain and yours. While conscious.”

“Mine as well?”

“You said he’s your identical twin - he should be genetically the same as you. We can use a scan of your brain as a comparison to see if there’s physical damage on the organ itself, because brain damage is the most common cause of amnesia.”

“I do have the technology available for an in-depth scan, but… ”

 “But what?”

“It’s in the shape of a ray gun, but like a traditional MRI whoever is getting scanned has to stay completely still.”

“I don’t s’pose in the time it took me to go into town and get supplies, you managed to reconcile with him?”

“Reconcile? He’s still convinced I’m a mad scientist out to harvest his organs, 'or worse turn him over to the IRS'- don’t ask about that second part. If I point anything gun-shaped at him, he’ll freak out.”

“Can’t say I blame him…”

“Hush, Fiddleford. There’s an easy way we can get him to hold still.”

“Stanford- Stanford put the tranquilizing doohickey away. We both know that concoction of yours wasn’t formulated with humans in mind. Surely you have less caustic means of sedation.”

---

“Stanford, anyone can tell that bottle’s been tampered with.”

“I have a theory that this persona of his is so self-destructive he’ll still drink it.”

“Y’know, this bottled water tastes suspiciously like two crushed Ambien tablets.” 

*Stan keeps drinking it anyways*  

“I am impressed, but I also hate that your theory was correct.”

*Ford undeafens the cell*

“Stanley, if you think there’s zolpidem in that, why are you still drinking it?”

“You think two Ambien is enough to take me down? Guess again, I’ve used this stuff to cut coke. You’re gonna have to try harder than that, PhD.” 

“Hmm, so we should have used Coca-Cola instead of water…”

“That ain’t what he meant by- how did you survive by yourself out here?”

---

“Hello there …Stan?”

“Sup babe.”

“Don’t call me that. I was wondering - you’re so handsome already, but it’d surely tickle my fancy a bit more if you put on this here necktie.”

“Hell no.”

“Do you not know how to tie one? I’d be happy to-.”

“I know how to tie a tie, specs. But I’ll never wear a necktie ever again. Not after Colombia… I still can’t shave that part of my jaw without nightmares.”

“I beg your pardon?”

---

“I couldn’t convince him to put the mind control tie on.”

“Fiddleford, why are you staring a thousand yards away?”

“He was explaining to me his time in Colombian prison, then he went on a tangent about necklaces and now I don’t think I can change a tire without thinking about it ever again.”

“... Interesting. We’re not resorting to the tranq gun yet?”

“This is your own brother you’re talking about.” 

“There’s only one thing we can do. The only thing that will 99.99% work on my brother. I didn’t think it would have to come to this so soon. But it’s our only unharmful option left.”

---

“Stanley.”

“Doc.”

“I will give you twenty dollars if you stay still for thirty whole seconds.”

“On one hand this is a set up… On the other hand, I’ve done worse for twenty dollars.”

“You what ?”

“Ten bucks up front.”

To be continued...

[nicohii]

fortnight.

Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt to Comfort, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers (as usual)

Summary: you love him, it's ruining your life. inspired by taylor swift's fortnight.

Sometimes you think to yourself how you caused your own misery. It's not like anybody forced you to come clean with your feelings with him. And it's not his responsibility to return your feelings either. You promised yourself you'll tell him and deal with the consequences maturely - that went well- because now you can't even be in the same room as him. Trying to escape the corridors the moment you see a flash of white hair.

What can you do? There's still a sliver of pride in you that doesn't want to show him how fucking miserable you are in the aftermath because god knows he'll feel so bad about it and that in turn will be another weight in your chest.

Your phone buzzes against the lacquered wood. Vibrations echoing against the smooth surface, flashing a familiar number that you practically memorized by heart already, yet had not called for a while. You let the call die out on its own not bothering to pick up.

Ever since that honest, rejection, per se, a rift started to form, try as you might not to. It's your fault and you know it, but you want all your feelings to at least settle down before properly facing him again. Damn, you fucking loved that dude since you can remember, why couldn't you just have swallowed it down.

"I'm really sorry. I think... I just don't see us being more than the best of friends, you know? "

The way he said it didn't help too. His golden eyes were actually pleading, like he didn't want to even say what he said. His breathing uneven. His hands, as big as they were, fidgeting. He has that look on his face like he wants to take back all he said just because of the look on your face. So you put on your face together in a way that will make him at ease. Make him believe that it's fine (it fucking hurts a lot). And you pat his back (it stings).

"I understand, we'll always be the best of friends."

---------------------------------------------------

Life goes on after that. A few years maybe. Some friends go on to other countries, some friends go back to rest roots and settle. He goes on to compete in a few Olympic games and international competitions.

He still calls from time to time, tells you how he's doing. You see some tabloid news about him, different models. They look good together. He looks better. He's an Olympian, of course he does.

You realized that in the moments that everyone had been moving on, you're stuck. Spending the years being faithful even if there is nothing promised, following Koutarou's footsteps, that you have dedicated everything for him; that you have forgotten what it's like to live not for him.

That plans for Koutarou aside, you don't have a single plan for yourself. In a desperate cry in a temple on a quiet holiday, begging for a sign, bargaining, and promising to listen (as if that rejection wasn't a clear message enough back when you were in high school); a call for a work overseas arrives. You take it without any hesitation. Taking the earliest flight, taking whatever life you have left here, very few shreds of dignity, and a somehow healing heart.

---------------------------------------------------

He still reaches out, small talks, asking how you have been. You learn how to forget replying. It's work, it's the time zone. Little by little. Maybe life isn't all about him.

You still see news, less tabloids and papparazzi shots, and just more on campaigns and game updates. Tetsuro and Akaashi rarely mention him too aside from necessary.

In the rare days where he managed to catch you online, and you respond, he mentions the idea of a visit when you mention having no time to go home. It has been a long time.

"Maybe I can go see you? "

You're far too busy to hear any undertones than the usual him. Innocent Kou, you muse, and rest assured that whatever you might respond will just be taken as it is and no hard feelings.

"I'm not sure Kou. Depends on the schedule. I may not be here always."

(You're on remote work and flexitime but he didn't need to know that)

It's a decline he knows. Sucks really, he was hoping you'd say yes. You usually say yes.

What happened to 'You're always have a home here' ?

What happened to 'You're always welcome here'?

Sometimes, in the days when he feels a little bit to much, overstimulated and tired of the life of fame he has chosen, his mind automatically thinks of you. Phone involuntarily in hand and scrolling to a familiar number. Tries to call it (even if overseas call cost a lot, and that's fine he can pay) but feel a pang of something unexplained when the call is not picked up.

"Oh yeah, yeah I get it. It's fine you must be busy."

He tries to counter himself. Bullshit, he can book a tour if you were busy, you can go to work, and he'll wait for you to get home, nothing wrong with that.

You tells him you need to go. That you can continue to catch up soon. But you both know if he doesn't start, nowadays, you never do.

Maybe that's what distance does, he thinks.

Maybe that's what trying to get away from the masochistic tendencies for him meant, you think.

---------------------------------------------------

It's the off season months. News of MSBY players not renewing their contracts has been dominating the news. Hinata Shoyo opts to play for Brazil. Sakusa opts to sign with Italia. No news of other starting players -- and Bokuto is still at a cross roads. He has a few options-- to renew of course, a position with another European team (Italy with Kageyama and Sakusa; Poland with Ushijima) , and an offer from a country where you, but you don't need to know that too. No one does.

He remembers asking his sister. If she has been in contact with you. Apparently she does. He is not that dumb to not be able to put two and two together.

"Maybe she's making her own peace, you know?" She lightly says.

Still, he stares at their conversations, not really as long as they were before, only sometimes when you wished him luck. Other than that, it's like... What? One sentence answers before you say good bye for work?

He wants to feel betrayed and mad. Was it really that unforgiveable not being able to reciprocate to be punished like this? But is he really the only reason? People just drift apart, he guesses.

"I just thought it would be a better closure than this. Like I'm not some dude you just cut off that easily, because we're different", he types one day, out of frustration when he saw Akaashi's phone screen notify of a familiar number.

He deletes the message on his own phone before he even has the balls to send it.

---------------------------------------------------

Life is better. You tried to bargain, got what you wanted and you're doing better. Walking alone with zero thoughts but dinner is refreshing. How long was it? You hate to admit it, but, you're starting to forget his face now or at least the little details of it. You can't forget that day of course, but it doesn't really hurt like before. You've learned to forgive, you love him of course, you never won't, but you've also made peace with it. You're here if he needs you, he's there when you do, you'll stay whatever he wants to be and life will be life.

You spoke to soon apparently.

Because the oxygen feels a little too scarce, your chest banging when you see a familiar mountaineering backpack and tufts of hair facing away from you and checking back and forth on what seems to be an address from his phone. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of your apartment door. He's bigger; still has his passport on his hands.

He just got here. That's obvious.

"Kou? " You softly call and he turns around. Eyes wide, and you hug your groceries tighter, gripping your keys tighter. He's here. You want to deny it but the swelling in your chest becomes obvious. You miss him. A lot. So much.

"Hi." Is what he only says before pocketing his passport in a desperate attempt to move because your eyes are freezing him. Maybe he shouldn't be here. Maybe he should have called first.

"I just.. I was just passing b- I really didn't think... I... Japan has really been overwhelming."

There is a sound of defeat and sadness in his voice and you feels sorry for him. But how about you? He overwhelms you but at the same time, you know that deep down you would have done the same. You place your groceries down the hall and open your arms to him, he looks like he's about to cry, the wetness in his eyes are obvious as he goes to you, trying to tuck himself in you. You feel wetness in the sides of your neck and a sniffle. He almost squeezes the life out of you, breathing you in. There's a lot of things he wants to say but all that comes out are hiccups muffled by the collars of your shirt. He feels you hug him back tighter, trying to soothe his back and rocking him back side to side.

It goes on for a couple more minutes before he subsides, but he doesn't budge. You gently pry him off of you, his face in both of your hands, his eyes red, puffy and tired looking at you tenderly,

"I get it. Come on in. "

[boom-butterflyeffect]

WARNING/S - smut, mentions of killing/stabbing, knife play, choking, mr.ghostface kink?, mask kink?, <3

you heard a bang as the lodge door slammed shut, instantly getting your attention as you shot up from the bed. you swore youd locked all the doors before getting into bed and the only other person with a key was josh but hed had to stay late at the smaller cabin, Jessica and Mike's "love den", as he called it. "last minute preparations, babe", he said.

slowly creeping around the corner of the bedroom door you peaked out to see.. nobody. the long hallway was completely.. empty. so you went back into the room and grabbed your boyfriends baseball bat, then made your way into the kitchen followed by the living room. once again seeing.. nothing.

hand falling to the side as you sighed to yourself. maybe you were just way too tired and imagining things, the religious watching and study of horror media finally getting to you, you thought, just before you felt two hands reach around you, grabbing your mouth to silence you and your waist to hold you against them.

you tried as hard as you could to fight them off, not even being able to see who it was that had grabbed you until you heard the familiar laugh of your boyfriend as he let go of you.

“its me, kitten!” he lifted the ghostface mask to reveal a very amused grin on his face and you shook your head at him.

“JOSH! you scared me to death!” you yelled at him, looking down at his baseball bat still in your hand.

“if i was a real intruder id definitely have had to kidnap you.” he said, using the knife he was holding to motion to your clothes. or lack of.

as youd been in bed you were literally in just a small thong and a cropped scream t shirt, how ironic. you roll your eyes, moving closer to him as his arms wrap around you and you pull the mask back down over his face.

“you look.. hot.” you told him and heard a laugh from under the mask.

“you want me to fuck you like this?” he jokes but quickly notices as your eyes change at his words. “oh you do.. you want me to put this knife against your throat and make you beg for you life, kitten?”

“josh..” you whisper out, barely being able to find your voice over the shock you were in from your boyfriends words. youd always had a thing for the ghostface character, among others, and hearing your boyfriend speaking this way was doing something to you.

his hand reaches out and grips onto your throat, pinning you against the nearest wall as he presses the knife above his hand. “what kitten?” he asks and you cant even think, never mind speak to reply to him.

“you better start talking or im gonna have to make you, and im sure you dont want that do you kitten?” he asks, moving the knife to trail down your tummy causing a whine to slip from your lips. “oh maybe you do.. hm? you like how my knife feels against your pretty skin?”

“josh please..” you whine and he laughs, shaking his head at your reaction.

“youre such a little whore. i bet you loved how you felt when you thought i was someone else hm? did it make your little pussy wet to think about me forcing this knife into your skin.. making you beg for your life?”

your breath fell from your lips in a scattered fashion as your chest rose and fell quickly. you couldnt even imagine, he couldnt even imagine, how wet you were right now, how wet he was making you. cheeks reddening as he spoke to you.

“go on kitten, b.e.g.” the knife was pointed in to your skin, pushing hard enough to draw a little blood on to it.

“please jos-please dont kill me mr ghostface, i really want to be in the sequel.. ,you can do anything you want to me,.. ill do anything.” you pleaded so desperate and you could practically feel his smirk as he pressed a leg between your aching thighs.

“i know you will but its cute of you to remind me.. now shut the fuck up and go sit on the bed.” he ordered and you quickly did as he told.

you walked back into the room and sat on your knees on the bed, facing him as he walked over to you with a smirk before pulling the mask back down. his hand palmed himself through his pants as he made his way over, your mouth almost watering at the sight.

“you wanna suck my cock?” he asks and you nod your head, already desperate to please and he chuckles. “good slut.”

he undoes his pants, leaving them around his thighs before he grabs a fistful of your hair, dragging your face to meet with his already hard dick.

“s.u.c.k. now”.

you immediately take him into your mouth, tongue swirling around the tip before your head dips lower taking in more of him.

he groans as your cheeks hollow, and you look up at him,.. well the mask.

“fuck, fuck, fuck.” he grunts out, pushing your head down to choke on his cock. “good fucking kitten gag on my cock.”

you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second as he continued. josh had never yet been this rough with you and you couldnt lie. you really liked it and you could tell that he did too.

he drags you off and your head up to meet his mask. "you want me to cum down your slutty little throat before i slit it open? hm is that what you want little whore?" he asks and you practically whimper.

"please mr.ghostface." you nod and he pushes you back down, you latching back onto his cock instantly.

he holds you hair again, fucking into your face due to his desperate state now. he twitches in your mouth before spilling down your throat and you swallow without hesitation.

"thank you mr.ghostface." you smile up at him in the most innocent way possible, attempting to rub your thighs together for some release.

"stand." he orders and you scramble to your feet in front of him and with no warning he rips off your top and drags down your underwear. "so fucking perfect, id be insane not to want to cut your pretty little throat wouldnt i? hm?" he asks and you nod.

"stupid slut." he laughs before pulling you to sit on his lap, his cock directly below your aching cunt.

"what do you want babe? tell me what you want." he coos, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear and you sigh.

"i want to ride you.. please." you almost moan just at the thought he nods.

"go on then kitten, maybe if youre good i wont have to kill you, hm? ill keep you around as my own little toy." he questions and you dont even answer.

you quickly sink down on his cock, moaning out loudly as you finally feel him inside of you. "josh o.h m.y g.o.d." he groans, gripping at your hips and forcing you to move.

you bounce up and down as he uses a hand to grab at one of your boobs. "perfect, youre so fucking perfect." he grunts and you smile down at him, pressing a kiss to his mask. "and so so cute." his hand trails up your back to tug at your hair.

"mi..-mister im close." you moan out, your eyes squeezing shut as you feel that familiar feeling in your stomach.

"hold it." he spits, his nail digging into your hip as he begins to thrust up into you, helping both of you to get closer.

his free hand grabs your throat, fingers tightening around it as he fucks you both to your highs.

"go on kitten show me how much of a good girl you are cum all over my cock." he tells you and you cum immediately, your nails dragging over his all black clothed chest as you moan loudly, screaming his name over and over.

"fuck." he grunts, as he lets go of your throat letting you fall against him as the two of you come down, breathing heavily for a few minutes.

"babe.." josh asks, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear and you hum, tracing patterns over his chest. "you okay?" he asks, continuing to play with your hair and you nod, exhausted.

“you never told me you into ghostface hm?” he laughs and you shrug.

“i got too many horror crushes.” you confess.

“oh yeah?"

"wait.. does beetlejuice count as horror too?" you quiz to no one really.

josh laughs.

__

idk im bored

jesus fucking christ anon.

Josh definitely would, especially around Halloween time since he has an excuse for dressing up in the costumes.

was not expecting a smut oneshot in my inbox, but i am not mad about it at all, good lord.

[drezendragon]

V to UV Art by DonnyK9 Murder Drones AU Idea Rambling Alright this is a “Drezen Ramble” I watched Murder Drones as it was coming out and after the last episode had an idea for a AU that then spiraled out of control a bit. It took a long time to finally find someone to draw some stuff for it and hopefully I can find more people to comm stuff for this but here we go. Should probably note I copy pasted most of this from a conversation I had with a bud so sorry if it comes off as nonsense XD

Context: this idea was inspired by the last few episodes where we find out “Effective Drones were cloned more” and Cyn’s comment that N’s Team always surprised her along with the fact V was willing to make a deal with the solver and that V’s persona kind of a mask to deal with the horrors. 

Most of this little story would take place on a different world probably a few years before Copper 9 and the main plot. I mean the solver had to get through Copper's 1 to 8 after all plenty of space to fill so assume it takes place on one of those many outings. 

Basically this AU would center around a different V who went with a different persona to mask behind instead of canon V this AU V takes up the persona of a "Tomboy" (+ a little shonen protagism) this Persona of V basically sets out to try and make sure this Squad is a proper Team and not barely functional mess... Basically She and N use “Democracy” to vote out J as leader and put V in charge who then actually raises team efficiency (much to J's annoyance) by basically doing all she can to be N and J's friend attempting to give them both therapy while mediating their clash of Extrovert and Introvert. N she actually deals with the fact his brain is wiped although basically spoon feds him info (basically tells him the mansion stuff but not the Gala incident) and also kind of gently shuts down his crush on her because she can't really remember what it was like to be the Girl N fell for and she thinks he deserves someone who can take all the love he has in his big dumb heart (She does promise to wingman for him though if they ever find someone who meets his fancy). Becoming friends with J was a lot harder. The girl has so many walls up she basically lives in a mental fortress but together they actually get their job done much faster and making N less annoying for J to deal with they become actual friends.

The Team did so well they actually finished the job with a year to spare which they spent further bonding and talking about what they might do after..... then Cyn and the other J show up. The Team freaked out but they did their job and they did it well and V hopes that this means the deal she made of "Leave us in Peace" will be upheld which Cyn says it will... as she proceeds to rip one of V's arms off. This of course freaks them out and Cyn clarifies it is holding up its end of the deal to "Leave them in P-I-E-C-E giggle" in fact she is so happy with them she is extending the deal to "Pieces"  isn't she the best boss (Happy Sarcastic Tone) the Team panics and tries to fight back but doing so causes Cyn to kill N (guess he didn't want to be left in Pieces oh well hopefully the next back up is more of a team player) J (Team) fights J (Solver's Pet) kind of messes up the “Solver's Pet” to see herself fight back choosing her Team over Corporate... but she too goes down once Cyn gets bored with the resistance and uses Admin permissions to lock up the Team has her pet J finish off the other J and then Cyn takes time ripping V into pieces removing her arms, peg legs, smashing her visor face and shredding her voice box after V tries to curse her out/ scream to just annoy Cyn. In the end V is left just a torso with her upper leg stumps still attached, a smashed face and something that shouldn't be called a voice and due to Cyn being Admin she won't be regenerating. Cyn eats the planet but makes sure to leave the chunk with V and her team’s remains as untouched as she can after all would be rude to not let V keep her reward.

Cyn eventually leaves for the next planet and V is just kind of left she can't see or hear anything only feel the wind but even that eventually fads and she is left alone with her thoughts for a very long time.... until something finds her something finds a broken doll discarded by a cruel "god" V is not sure if she has gone mad but she tries to call out and whatever it is doesn't retreat from her distorted cries instead it seems to try and comfort her and she feels herself being gently picked up so long since she last felt kindness that she drifts off to sleep. When she wakes up she has been repaired.... mostly it seems whoever repaired her used the parts of her team leaving her with N's lower legs, J's voice box patching up her own (Basically she doesn’t sound like V or J her voice is either deeper or growly-raspy sounding), no idea whose arms she has since they all look so similar but her upper arms seem to be new parts, seemingly J’s unbound hair, no stinger tail and when she looks into a mirror she sees her eyes are now basically the color of UV lights and on closer inspection she swears she sees more eyes beneath her visor but before the panic of whatever that is about set in she notices another addition of…. Animal Ears in place of her Headband eyes with said ears expressing her current mood before twitching as she hears someone in the next room and with checking herself over done she leaves out the room to whatever awaits her next.

Notes:

She is nicknamed "UV" because of her eyes she never actually introduces herself to the person who put her back together so “UV” is just what they call her until she either introduces herself or picks out a name for herself.

Her lights were changed from yellow to purple by the person who put her back together both as a side effect of some of the alterations made when repairing her and also so that she hopefully wouldn’t freak out when seeing yellow drone eyes looking back at her when she looks in a mirror.

She is the admin of her own system Cyn’s Admin rights were replaced but despite that UV was unable to regenerate which is why she was repaired with available parts. The current status of her solver is UV has admin rights but the solver does not seem to work in any capacity. 

She can't use her arm weapons so has to carry actual weapons which after finding some Disassembly Drone arms with their Swords sticking out she takes the blades to make into actual swords she can wield. She also can’t use her wings anymore.

Her body has a few upgrades beyond the patch job repair due to the person who repaired her getting hit with inspiration while examining her but they stopped themselves from going overboard as they acknowledge UV is a person and any alterations should really be of her choice… granted this person also looked through her memories just to make sure they weren’t repairing a psycho.

Upgrades and modifications she now has are: Her new upper arm parts compensate for her lack of wings since they allow her arms to extend (Think Reg’s arms from Made in Abyss), her visor she can now customize things like the type or eye brows she has when she expresses along with a range of other options to help her be who she wants to be, She can eat human food being no longer reliant on oil but she can still eat it and other drone foods if she has to and probably a few other features relating to her new visor and ears that she didn’t bother to ask about once the shock of being rebuilt started to wear off.

Having her Teammates limbs attached to her has had a bit of an effect on her psyche causing her to take up some of their personality traits on top of her Tomboy Persona leading her to be more Chipper like N but also making her call the person who fixed her up "Boss" (thankfully she is spared using the mountain of corporate jargon that J does)

She has a lot of mental grief, having survivors guilt and refusing to get any further upgrades or better repairs to desperately hold onto what she has left of her friends which sometimes leads to her hallucinating them when alone or stressed out.

Character Inspirations: Murder Drones's V: Eldritch Robo, Fake it till you make it, Cloned Traumatized Killed Cloned again, Sacrifice her own happiness for her friends.

Fate's Mordred: Knight of Rebellion, Artificial Being Cloned from another, Tomboy, Traumatized but kind of dealing with it.

Underverse's Cross:  Quotes "Am I evil for what I did? Am I evil for what I am?" " What's the point of feeling useful and valid in a reality plagued by thousands of us...?" "Yes, our origin is an imitation... ready-made from another. But...our pride, our experiences... Maybe they make us authentic." Scrapnik Mecha Sonic: Haunted by the fight that left them in pieces, Shadow of their “maker” looming over them, feels like a misshapen thing with scraps for limbs, surprisingly dangerous for their current state of repair. 

[thewrothode-if]

Just a little scenario I made up since that recent POV reminded me just how much I adore Gungir. (I don't imagine it taking place during the actual game/story necessarily. But it would take place further down the line where both the MC and Gungir are aware of their attraction, but the MC is still not ready to let go of the hurt caused by their father's preferential treatment)

It was the soft, concerned way Gungir spoke their name that finally broke them.

The past few days had not been kind, giving them little time to rest. Every moment, they were needed for something: make this decision, mediate this grievance, help with supplies, break up a fight. Ever it went on, seemingly endless. And in the back of their mind, growing louder with each passing moment, was the criticizing voice of their father.

The imaginary voice was ceaseless with its chiding and beratement, always there to let them know how much they were failing. Even lands apart, they could not escape that man's unfair judgement. It was wearing them down, and their temper was growing even quicker to flare.

It wasn't until they threw an overly cruel remark towards Thyra that they finally pulled themselves away to be alone. They just needed a moment, one moment, alone to collect themselves. But, it seems Gungir couldn't even give them that.

The large oaf decided to follow them, for only the gods know what reason. They may have had moments with him during the journey where they put their animosty to the side and truly talked with the man. But surely, a handful of amicable conversations could not have given Gungir the confidence to believe approaching them now when they were this irate was the best decision. But here Gungir was, and they could feel the pent-up frustration and anger rising.

They watched him take a few cautious steps closer and, quietly, he said their name. Just their name. But it was filled with such concern, the kind that they were rarely ever given, and they couldn't stand it. Not in this moment, and not from him. Like a cornered animal, they lashed out.

They hurled every insult they could think of at him. They poked and prodded at any perceived failings of the man with no care for how petty they may be. Every grievance and every flaw they were forced to listen to by their imaginary father's voice, they took and threw it all onto Gungir. And through their tirade, he did not turn away or back down.

Gungir seemed to disregard it all, the worry never leaving his eyes. The large man continued his approach until he was standing right before them. By then, their anger had started to fade, but they couldn't stop. They continued to yell at him, chanting 'I hate you' over and over, their words growing weaker each time. They just wanted this miserable feeling to end and Gungir to leave.

But he didn't. Gungir slowly lifted his arms and, to their surprise, gathered them into a hug. It wasn't a strong hold, loose enough that they could easily pull away if they wanted, but they didn't. They could feel his warmth seeping into their skin, and it smothered the remaining embers of their ire, leaving them feeling hollow and quiet. Suddenly, they felt their breath hitch, and like a burst dam, they started to sob.

They clung to the front of Gungir's clothes and cried in a way they hadn't since they were a child. Later, they would undoubtedly be embarrassed about this. But for now, they let themselves forget about the complicated feelings they had for the man holding them and greedily accepted the comfort he freely gave. They felt Gungir pull them into a tighter embrace, and in that moment, they were truly glad he was there. Whether they deserved his kindness or not, they were glad.

YOOO, this shit is so GOOD. What the fuck.

Like you actually had me so excited for what was going to come next. Can you please, PLEASE write this IF for me so I enjoy your delicious writing? The dynamic between Gungir and the MC is so good in this.

I will most likely use this as a reference for what my writing should be because damn. This is FIRE. 😍

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

How the brothers would react to a Fem MC on their period

I tried to include most of what happens during periods here. I myself have heavily painful ones that make me throw up and they cause me severe mood swings and break outs on my face (and severe horniness). But I know others can be light and only have certain aspects like breaking out or just mood swings instead so I tried to make it more inclusive.

Lucifer

He didn't know at first what a period was until you explained it to him. Once you did he decided to prepare ahead of time with chocolate, medicine, and heated pads/blankets. When it hit though with your mood swings and severe pain he was not so prepared. He internally panicked and took your attitude to heart but after everything was over he understood. He definitely didn't expect you to attack him or watch him with such lustful eyes. Again he knew you'd become like this but he still was overwhelmed not uncomfortable just surprised.(He is actually very afraid of you when on your period)

Mammon

His dumbass didn't know what a period was either. Explaining it to him is a long drawn out process but he eventually got the concept. He did forget though so when it did hit he panicked completely. Your mood swings made him bratty and he ate your snacks by accident causing more fights. When you are in pain he actually sits and holds you resting his hand on your lower stomach which helps a lot. He does love the amount of attention he receives when you get that horny hormone. He loves loves when you're handsy and won't stop talking about everything sexy he does. But gets just as confused when you yell at him randomly.He still doesn't like your periods.

Levi

He panics immediately he knows about them from looking them up online after an anime talked about them. And he for some reason thought you'd attack him from anger and hormones. You actually are quite content just definitely uncomfortable. He helps to the best of his ability providing you your favorite snacks and warm blankets even his warmth. What he isn't prepared for is your horniess. since your hormones are off the charts you are basically all over him and he cannot take it without blowing up. He does love it tho if we are being honest.

Satan

He read books on human anatomy then went on a whole rabbit hole of human reproduction then the human organs just a huge loop hole. He does know but never dealt with it in person. Once it hit you though he never understood how vast the reactions could happen. One day you'll be completely fine the next you'll look so drawn out and tired barley moving or awake. The next day be completely glammed up and the next sad and covered up completely. He gets thrown through it with you. He does however help with the pain hating seeing you in such a state. The horniness he also wasn't prepared for. He didn't mind being attacked and kissed all over but the aggressive horniness took him very off guard. (The fucker enjoys it)

Asmos

Of course he knew he knows all he could of the human body. He feels awful anyone with a uterus has to go through so much discomfort or pain. He has a period bag ready more so a whole corner in his room for you. He hates seeing your skin break out as well from the incoming headache. He even buys cotton underwear for you to wear. He has to keep his diva down with your mood swings or it'd be a hissy fit. The horniness is completely welcome and he knows the big O can definitely help with period cramps so of course he helps with no complaints.

Beel

He did actually know of this from Lilith since she was an angel she didn't exactly get them but she found out about them and rambled on about it to him. He knew comfort and understanding was what was important during that time frame. So he got the comfiest blankets from belphie a fan for if you become too hot and even medicine and a trash bag and can in case the pain is too bad you get sick. He is perfect for cuddling and getting warmth so he doesn't protest when you drag him down to cuddle. The horniness wasn't something Lilith said would happen tho of course he helped but still a shocker. The mood swings he genuinely didn't know what to do besides sit and wait for you to calm down a bit with puppy eyes (they usually work)

Belphie

Oh god does he know about it. Same with beel he learned from Lilith but he just hoped he would never have to deal with it. He of course was the king of comfort so anything soft and warm was right up his alley. The pain he had medicine for you but he also just suggested letting you sleep through most of it with his powers. The horniness wasn't unwelcome and he wasn't grossed out either just surprised you became that heavily attracted to him all of a sudden. He didn't enjoy the mood swings since you two already bickered It just worsened. He still cuddled you even if it was after a fight because he's too in love with you to stay away.

[igglemouse]

It's Friday and for some reason it feels a little peculiar, a little off. The air is a buzz with some kind of weird energy and I don't know why but I have feeling today will be a very memorable day. Just a feeling!

I told you today would be an odd day as Candela, yes, that Candela, texts me? My heart skips a beat as I read the message, confused at what I'm seeing as uncertainty kicks in. Could it be her? I thought I'd never see her again and while she's always been a close friend I wonder...do I want it to be her? Do I want that piece of my past dipping back into my life? Would I want her back in my life? Definitely, but I worry about how much of the past she might drag into my current mostly happy life. I tried to call her but I got nothing back. Maybe that is for the best.

I was ready to dwell on it maybe investigate it further but Pascal comes sweeping into the room, angry about something, likely his kick ball thing. It's always about futbol with him isn't it? I'm proven correct the moment he opens his mouth.

"It's the manager," he starts and his whole face is tinted with his anger. "I keep telling him he plays me too deep, I need to be up more, attacking more! We would have won if-"

"Pascal, my dear, I have no idea what you are talking about," I really have no clue.

"I'm trying to win games here and I'm not sure what he's trying to do? Prove a point? He claims we win the ball more when I play-"

"Pascal!" I reach out for him, my hands finding his shoulders and arms, squeezing, getting a handle of him because he is really worked up about this. "You are speaking another language right now!" I joke, hoping to add levity to our conversation.

"Right," he calms down at once, settling down just enough so that he could think clearly. "You are right. I just wanted to vent, can't vent to the team because that could cause issues you know-"

"Oh," now I feel slightly bad. I have been meaning to learn more about this sports ball game he plays but I've been so busy and tired and pregnant. "Well, yes, you can vent to me! I just want you to know you might have to do more explaining is all!" He really seems to like that and I love that I calmed him down!

Pascal goes off to work and that left me here cleaning which is fine since I feel like I'm really just passing time. I don't have a food stand anymore so for now I have shifted into the more domestic kind of role. I'm sure once I do officially become a mama I'll have less and less time so maybe I should just enjoy the time I have right now!

Despite my feeling that something special might happen today nothing does. It plods on as a normal day but at least Sara decides to stop by and has a new hairstyle as well? I think she looks amazing with it! I wonder if this is because of her new mysterious boyfriend in any way?

"I love it! It frames your face perfectly!" Doesn't it? I can't help but gush about her new style and the smile on her face tells me she's happy with it too.

"Yeah, I was skeptical right after but waking up in the morning and seeing my reflection? Yeah, yeah, I look good, don't I?"

I beam my approval, she does, she's always have. She would struggle with her confidence but you know ladies sometimes a new hairstyle is all you need. "Is the new mystery guy the motivation or?"

That question makes her look a little doubtful and maybe even slightly offended? "No, no, I think he liked my old style to be honest? I just felt like...it was time to change something up?" She seemed uncertain about it, maybe the change was just a whim she had and went with it. Sometimes you have to go with the flow.

"A change is all you really need sometimes!" I chime in to reassure her and she gives me a small smile. Just then, it felt like the right time to dive into her love life or more particular this mystery guy. I was just ready to open my mouth when she beats me to it.

"What about you and Pascal?" She asks, curious as always. "He's been having a rough time out on the pitch lately."

I'm ready to ask what's wrong but she's eager to explain, taking a long breath. "I think they just haven't found the right spot for him, the right space. Chemistry issues. He started the season blazing hot but has slowed down some. I think the defenses are starting to key in on him, getting rough with him, frustrating him-"

"Oh," and I was listening intently but again, she's speaking a new language to me, one I haven't even tried learning. "I wish I knew what you were talking about."

She chuckles and waves it off. "Ah, it's just a kids game, but I guess it is taken a little seriously?" She then looked at my belly which is now hard to ignore. "You are huuuuuge!"

"Yeah, I'm just ready for her to come out at this point," I give my belly a few pats and she responds with a kick, maybe she's ready too.

"I'm definitely not looking forward to that whole process myself!"

"Oh?" My eyebrow raises because I think this is the first time she's talked about becoming a mom. "Are you and ummm, your mystery guy, you two are serious then?"

"I...maybe? It feels right, you know? It just feels...right. He's a good man, dedicated, attentive, driven. It feels right."

I nod, even though I'm not sure I fully understand. This pregnancy was unplanned for me. I'm not saying I regret it, far from it, but life is certainly coming at me fast. So I find that my only reply can be "Sometimes you have to listen to your gut," but I also realize this is my chance. "This guy, who is he? Can I at least get a name?"

She chuckles softly. "Oh, yeah sure, I guess that isn't big deal! It's Simo-"

"Sara?!?!" I cut her off, I wanted to know, I did but... "I-it's go time! C-can you drive?!"

I am thankful Sara was there since I doubted Pascal could make it home in time. She was steady and serious and once at the hospital things really started to just...happen. Needles, nurses, doctors, all in a flurry. All moving in a practiced ritual and moving a sone as if they were a team that had done this hundreds of times before. Maybe they have. I knew I was in good hands but still that wouldn't stop the fear. What if something goes wrong? What if she's not...whole? What if she comes out wrong? What if...

"Don't worry Miss Varela, your vitals are good, everything is fine, she's going to be beautiful," the doctor tells me. I take a deep breath and calm down.

After the 'pre-game' it was time for the first kick. I'll be honest and say it was not fun. All I remember from it was pain and the mantra of push and breathe, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath, push and breath...

For a moment I wondered when it would end. Hours had passed, how many I could not be sure, but eventually magic begun and after crying and wailing and pain and blood and tears I was holding her. She wriggled and screamed her lungs out, my little Florencia.

Frida Varela - Next Episode 8.5