#category: paid spreads

[khajiit-reads]

Starting with a New Guide Tarot Spread

(I'm going to re-type all the questions under the cut in case anybody needs it for whatever reasons, I know they're kinda small on the image and the image description is not for it).

This is my main megaspread! I use it for when I'm, as it says, starting with a new guide -- but also when I'm checking back in after a year or so with old guides I feel need it (though I sometimes harvest some questions and not do it all).

I know it's long, but I hope at least one person likes it.

As with all my spreads, feel free to edit them to your liking, but if you re-post them or post your edits, please link back to this blog. Thank you! Happy reading!

Pull either all at once, in chunks, or one at a time, returning cards to the deck, for the last two depending on preference.

01 . Signifier Card 02 . Traits (1 / 2 / 3) 03 . Associations 04 . A story including them 05 . Personality description 06 . Kind of relationship they want

07 . What are the main things you wish to work on with me? 08 . ^ How do you suggest I work on these? 09 . What are your long term goals with me? 10 . ^ How do you suggest I begin to work toward these? 11 . What is your main aim for working together? (ex. improvement, learning, etc) 12 . What is something you want to warn me about? 13 . What is something you’re wanting me to encourage? 14 . What is something I need to learn? 15 . What are some positive traits of mine you want me to enforce? 16 . What are some negative traits of mine you want me to improve? 17 . What kind of person do you think I am? 18 . How do I stand to develop from your help?

19 . How would you typically describe yourself? 20 . What would you say your strengths are? 21 . What would you say your weaknesses are? 22 . How can I best honor you? 23 . How can I best notice you when you are present? 24 . How can I be more open to your messages? 25 . How can I deepen our connection? 26 . A main message, encouragement, and advice they wish to leave me with. (Draw one card each.)

[foxy-eva]

Swept off your feet

Summary: Spencer gives you a foot massage and discovers something very interesting about himself

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Category: Smut

Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) massages, teasing, foot kink, footjob, female masturbation, unprotected penetrative sex

Word count: 2.2k

Author’s note: I love kinktober and exploring new things. So I decided that Spencer Reid must be into feet and my fic is here to prove it. It’s very cute, I promise. 

Masterlist

There was hardly a better feeling than to get cozy in a bed with fresh sheets right after taking a shower. Spencer was already waiting for you in bed when you stepped out of the bathroom. Seeing you in your colorful pajama shorts and oversized sleep shirt made him smile. He watched as you grabbed a bottle of body lotion and sat down on the mattress beside him. 

“I’m so tired,” you complained as you began applying the lotion to your legs. “Why is taking care of your skin so much work?” 

“Here,” Spencer cooed as he took the bottle from your hands. “Let me help you.”

You leaned against the headboard of the bed while Spencer moved to sit beside your legs. With careful motions he began rubbing the lotion over your shins and calves, giving your legs a gentle massage. A content sigh fell from your lips at the sensation. 

“Feels nice,” you breathed as he repeated the same movements on the other leg. 

“Yeah?” He said while a smile spread over his face. “You deserve to feel good.”

When Spencer seemed content with his work on your legs, he put more lotion into his palms and started to massage one of your feet. He gently caressed you while his eyes were focussed on your skin. 

“I love that color,” he said, prompting you to follow his line of sight. It took you a second to realize he was talking about your nail polish. “It makes your feet look even prettier.” 

It was nothing new for Spencer to worship every part of your body. He always made sure you knew how much he loved every curve and dip of your skin when the two of you were together. He had this way of looking at you like he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. 

The way Spencer took his time massaging your foot was almost impressive. He made sure to cover it evenly in lotion and rubbing and pressing all the spots that he knew would feel pleasant for you. 

When he took your other foot between his palms, you noticed him shifting weirdly in his place, like he was trying to readjust his clothes without letting go of your body. It was so subtle that you almost missed it. When your eyes began searching for what caused the discomfort, you couldn’t hold back the audible breath from escaping your throat. 

Spencer was visibly aroused and his hardness was straining against his pajama pants. 

Of course he noticed you looking at him and when your eyes locked with his again, you realized how his cheeks had taken on a wonderful rosy shade. 

“Sorry, just ignore that,” he mumbled and you couldn’t overhear how his voice was laced with embarrassment. 

That was odd. It had been a long time since Spencer felt awkward about wanting to initiate intimacy. 

You opened your arms and giggled, “You can come here and I’d be very happy to not ignore that.”

He just shook his head and muttered, “I’m not done with your foot massage.” 

It was then that you became curious about what exactly it was that had turned him on so much. You thought back to the handful of times when Spencer had paid special attention to your feet. Like that one time you wore heels to your date night and didn’t even make it out of the apartment because Spencer got so riled up by seeing your outfit, he had to have you right then and there. Or those couple of times during sex when you hooked your legs over his shoulders and he took a moment to kiss your feet before continuing to fuck you. 

Raising your eyebrows, you decided to explore your theory. Slowly you moved your free foot over Spencer’s thigh, making him audibly gulp and stop what he was doing. You started carefully rubbing the sole of your foot over where his hardness was straining so painfully against his pants. 

“Is that okay?” You cooed when Spencer looked at you with widened eyes and his mouth hanging open. 

“Y… yes.”

When you let the ball of your foot brush over his clothed tip, Spencer’s entire body jerked and a moan escaped his throat. 

“Spencer?” You said while stopping to tease him with your foot. 

He looked innocent as ever when he replied, “What?”

Your voice sounded genuine when you wondered, “Do you have a foot fetish you never told me about?”

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Uhm… I uh… kind of just found out about this myself,” he confessed and added in his usual matter-of-factly way, “It’s definitely more of a kink than a fetish though because I can become aroused without it.”

“Interesting,” You quipped. 

You were getting excited about the new nuance this discovery could add to your sex life. 

Spencer, however, seemed a little worried when he asked, “Do you think that’s weird?”

“Absolutely not.” Sitting up to be closer to your boyfriend, you placed a kiss on his lips before purring, “I need you to tell me exactly what you want to do.” 

He found your lips in another, more urgent kiss. His tongue begged for entrance the moment he made contact with your mouth and you granted it, losing yourself in this kiss. When he leaned back to look at you, you could feel the heat of his breath against your face. Your fingertips brushed over his cheek and he leaned into your touch. 

“Tell me, Spencer,” You encouraged him again. 

“Can I uhm… kiss your feet?” 

You nodded as you leaned back against the headboard again, intently watching every move he made. He let his fingertips brush over one of your ankles before he lifted your foot off the mattress. Tentatively he began leaving feather-light kisses on your ankle and the back of your foot, the rough stubble on his cheeks tickling you. 

It was a strange sensation to have your feet caressed this way and you could feel how every nerve was on edge. When he moved to the underside of your foot, it almost became too much. Spencer noticed how sensitive you were to his ministrations.

“Am I tickling you?” He wondered before he continued kissing you. 

“Only a little.” 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed against your skin before placing your foot back on the mattress. “You have to tell me when I do something that doesn’t feel good, okay?” 

“I will.” You lifted your other foot and snickered, “Here, you’re not done yet.”

“I’m starting to think you’re enjoying this just as much as I do,” he chuckled as he rubbed his palms over your skin. 

He paid your other foot the same kind of attention as he placed soft kisses over your every inch of skin within reach. It seemed like he had figured out a way to apply just enough pressure that it wouldn’t tickle you and you could indulge in this strange yet pleasant new sensation. 

“So beautiful,” he mumbled into your skin.

Spencer’s lips brushed over your shin right before he placed your leg back on the mattress. You locked eyes with him and it became obvious that he wanted to ask something but didn’t yet dare to. After a moment, he began speaking. 

“Would you uhm… touch me like before?”

You placed your feet on his thighs and let them slowly wander over the fabric of his pajama pants. “Like this?” 

“Yes.” 

Instead of granting him what he was obviously longing for, you decided to tease him by only moving along his thighs. The outline of his erection was clearly visible and a wet patch had formed where his tip pressed against the fabric of his pants. Spencer was incredibly turned on and you couldn’t put into words how much that excited you. 

He found your eyes, a desperate expression written all over his face. “Please…” 

“Please what?” You teased him. 

“Please touch my… cock,” he whimpered. 

If Spencer wanted to get a footjob, you wanted to do it right. You had a feeling that it wouldn’t be a simple task, so you decided to make it a little easier for yourself. Your feet left his lap before you sat up once more to press your lips against his and grab the hem of his shirt. He didn’t resist when you pulled it up, moving with you as you undressed him until he sat in front of you completely bare. 

You leaned over to reach for the drawer of your nightstand, pulling out a bottle of lube. After squeezing a fair amount into your hand, you began spreading the liquid over Spencer’s cock. He twitched against your palm at the sudden sensation while hissing a curse. 

“You’re so cute when you’re needy,” you praised him before leaning back against the headboard once more. 

When Spencer found his position kneeling at your feet, you didn’t waste any more time before carefully making contact. The sound that escaped his mouth when your feet began caressing his cock was downright peccable. He couldn’t keep his eyes from where you made contact with his body, mesmerized by the look of your soles brushing over his velvety skin. 

It wasn’t easy but after a few moments you figured out how to do this. You managed to keep his erection firmly pressed between the undersides of your feet and move along his shaft. Ever so often he’d involuntarily jerk his hips upwards in an attempt to create more friction. 

“Fuck,” he moaned as your feet kept caressing him. “Feels so good.”

There was something so sinful, so taboo about this moment and you couldn’t deny how much you enjoyed the sight. It was arousing to see Spencer so desperate and vulnerable as he gave into his newly discovered kink. 

It was then that you noticed how turned on you had gotten yourself and decided to do something about it. One of your hands found its way under your shirt to grab your own breasts while the other dipped beneath the waistband of your shorts. To your own surprise you were already dripping with desire.

As you began circling your most sensitive spot with your fingers, it became more difficult to focus on your initial task. Spencer was so mesmerized by your feet that it took several moments for him to notice what you were doing. His pupils were blown wide when he scanned your body, watching you as you touched yourself. 

Just when you thought that he was about to reach his point of no return, he touched your ankles to hinder you from moving anymore and placed your feet on either side of his body. 

“I need you,” he groaned as he moved closer. 

“Please,” you whispered, already desperate to find relief. 

He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was buried between your legs and pulled it out of your shorts. Without a second thought, he brought your fingers to his mouth to lick off the thick essence they were covered in, making you whimper at the sight of it. 

Spencer didn’t take the time to remove your flimsy pajama shorts, instead he just pulled them aside to let his thumb glide through your slick folds. 

“You really liked that, huh,” he chuckled when he realized how wet you were. 

You laughed when you reached for his erection to guide it to your entrance. “You’re one to talk.” 

Spencer didn’t waste any more time to push into you, finding no resistance from your body. When he was fully inside you, you couldn’t help but clench around him, making him moan out your name. 

He hooked his arms under your knees to bring your legs over his shoulders and took a brief moment to turn his head to kiss each of your feet. Then he began moving as he towered over you. Slow and deep at first, savoring each thrust and watching how you reacted to his motions. When he was sure you could take it, he accelerated his pace, fucking you just the way he knew you liked. 

With all the built-up tension from your earlier actions, it didn’t take long for the both of you to dance along the edge of euphoria. Spencer seemed to struggle to hold back, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic. 

You felt like you were getting drunk on the sight in front of you. With his scrunched up face and disheveled hair, Spencer had never looked more beautiful. The rosy shade covering his cheeks had spread over his neck and chest, giving his skin a glow that almost looked unreal. 

“Fuck,” he hissed. “I’m so close!” 

Pleasure took over your senses when you felt his thumb pressing against your bundle of nerves, desperately circling it to throw you over the edge together with him. When he felt your walls starting to pulse around his cock, he couldn’t hold back any longer and released any remaining tension into your heat. 

You welcomed him inside your embrace when he collapsed on top of you, holding him close for as long as he needed you to. 

Please like, reblog and leave a comment! I need your lovely words to stay motivated to write more stories.

Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @gspenc @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @malindacath @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @sebs-oxygen @happymangospot @cynbx @hotchandspencearedilfs @kobaltdragon @castiels-majestic-wings @emiliaserpe @velvetthunder93 @saturnstringz @missabsey @spencerslove @guacam011y @hugyourlungs @reiderwriter @loaksulluyswife @xserenax-13 @grumpyy-bearr @super-nerd22 @pleasantwitchgarden @r-3dlips @evvy96 @torigorie @meyaareads @luvdella @bunnylovesani @spenciesslut @billie-lover8 @indyvelazquez @evrmorets

[contemplatingoutlander]

How Trump is reshaping reality by hiding data

Curating reality is an old political game, but Trump’s sweeping statistical purges are part of a broader attempt to reinvent “truth.”

Trump appears to be turning the federal government into its own 1984-style Ministry of Truth.

This is a gift 🎁 link so there is no paywall to read it. Below are some excerpts/highlights.

By Amanda Shendruk and Catherine Rampell | March 11, 2025 The Trump administration is deleting taxpayer-funded data — information that Americans use to make sense of the world. In its absence, the president can paint the world as he pleases. We don’t know the full universe of statistics that has gone missing, but the U.S. DOGE Service’s wrecking ball has already left behind a wasteland of 404 pages. All sorts of useful information has disappeared, including data on:

[...]

[See more under the cut.]

Three cases of legerdemath and other tricks up Trump’s sleeve

Deleting data isn’t the only way to manipulate official statistics. Trump and his allies have also misrepresented or altered data. Here are a few examples: 1. Incorrect data

Witness DOGE’s bogus statistics on its supposed government savings. The administration counts as “savings” some canceled contracts that had already been paid in full. Some canceled expenses were created out of whole cloth, such as $50 million supposedly spent on sending condoms to Gaza. 2. Misrepresented data

One of Trump’s favorite charts on immigration is riddled with errors. For one, it does not show the number of immigrants entering the United States illegally, as he claims, but the number of people stopped at the U.S. border. Similarly, when Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick was recently asked how much DOGE funding cuts might reduce economic growth, he suggested that the agency might decide to change how economic growth is calculated so that the usual GDP report strips out government spending altogether. This would be an abrupt change to the standard GDP methodology that has been used around the world for nearly a century, but it would certainly make the DOGE cuts look less painful. 3. Altered data

When data doesn’t tell the story Trump wants, he fabricates it. In what became known as “Sharpiegate,” Trump notoriously altered a map of Hurricane Dorian’s path in 2019.

Likewise, before Jan. 30, a National Institutes of Health website documenting years of spending data included a category called “Workforce Diversity and Outreach.” That line item is now gone — even though the money was, indeed, spent.

Taking cues from authoritarian illusionists

Such actions are straight out of authoritarian leaders’ playbooks. Research suggests that less democratic countries have been more likely to inflate their GDP growth rates and manipulate their covid-19 numbers. Statistical manipulation is also more common in countries that shun economic openness and democracy. [...] To be clear, efforts to rewrite reality via statistical manipulation often don’t work. If anything, China’s data deletions reduced public confidence in the country’s economic stability. (No one hides good news, after all.) The Trump team’s efforts to suppress nettlesome numbers have similarly eroded trust in U.S. data. Only about one-third of Americans trust that most or all of the statistics Trump cites are “reliable and accurate.”

Meanwhile, missing or untrustworthy data lead to worse decisions: Auto companies, for example, draw on dozens of federally administered datasets when devising new car models, how to price them, where to stock and market them and other key choices. Retailers need detailed information about local demographics, weather and modes of transit when deciding where to locate stores. Doctors require up-to-date statistics about disease spread when diagnosing or treating patients. Families look at school test scores and local crime rates when deciding where to move. Politicians use census data when determining funding levels for important government programs.

And of course, voters need good data of all kinds when weighing whether to throw the bums out. Many of us take the existence of economic or public health stats for granted, without even thinking about who maintains them or what happens if they go away. Fortunately, some outside institutions have been saving and archiving endangered federal data. The Internet Archives’ Wayback Machine, for instance, crawls sites around the internet and has become an invaluable resource for seeing what federal websites used to contain. Other organizations are archiving topic-specific data and research, such as on the environment or reproductive health. These are critical but ultimately insufficient efforts. At best, they can preserve data already published. But they cannot update series already halted or purged.... Some private companies may step in to offer their own substitutes (on prices, for example), but private companies still rely on government statistics to calibrate their own numbers. Much of the most critical information about the state of our union can be collected only by the state itself. Americans might be stuck with whatever Trump chooses to share with us, or not.

[asapjens]

UNEXPECTED LOVE

PJO: perseus jackson x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS: percy is drawn to this demiegod without knowing who’s her goldy parent.

CATEGORY: fluff

WORD COUNT: 480

It was a hot summer at Camp Half-Blood, and Percy was back for another action-packed break. As he strolled through the familiar grounds, Annabeth approached with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain. You won't believe who's here," Annabeth exclaimed, practically bouncing with excitement.

Percy raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Who?"

"Come on, I'll introduce you," Annabeth said, leading him towards a group of demigods gathered near the campfire.

Among them stood a girl with a contagious smile and a warm aura. Annabeth made the introductions, and as Percy got to talk to her, he was struck by her unwavering positivity and the way she effortlessly lifted the spirits of those around her.

As the days passed, Percy found himself drawn to her magnetic energy. He admired how she always saw the silver lining, even in the most inconvenient situations. Her optimism was like a breath of fresh air in the midst of demigod life.

One day, as they sat by the lake, Nico di Angelo opened up about how his father's reputation always seemed to affect him, and Y/N, in her ever-optimistic way, comforted him.

“Look Nico, I know that it seems like your father is doing all of this just to make your life complicated, but you have to remember you’re not your father's actions.”

Her words resonated deeply with Percy, and he couldn't help but admire her even more. Percy couldn't help but be curious about Y/N's own background, as he had never paid much attention to such things.

When he finally mustered the courage to ask her, he definitely didn’t see that one coming.

"Hey” Percy asked, "who's your godly parent anyway? I don't think I ever caught that."

You looked nervous as she admitted, "Um, my father is Ares."

Percy's eyes widened in surprise, and he was thoroughly confused. Y/N, the nicest girl he’d ever known, who always saw the good in everything, the girl who always tried to avoid conflict and was always relaxed, couldn’t possibly be related to the God who has tried to kill Percy multiple times.

Ares and he had a long and tumultuous history, and it was no secret that most of Ares' children didn't exactly adore him.

"Yeah, I know, it's pretty wild," You said with a shrug. "But when I found out, I realized that's why I used to get so mad all the time.”

Percy raised his eyebrows at that. You angry?

“I used to always get mad about everything and everyone without a reason, I used to think that everyone was out there to screw me over,” You explained to Percy, still managing a smile and comforting aura.

“So, when I found out, I started to work really hard to become this new, relaxed, and peaceful person."

Percy was taken aback by her honesty and resilience.

“Well, even though Ares and most of his children hate me, I – I really like you, Y/N. And I’m not afraid to put up with some of Ares' shi- mhm.. challenges,” Percy said, biting down the last words and smiling softly at you.

Your eyes widened in surprise, but then a radiant smile spread across your face. "I'd like that, Percy," you said softly, your positivity shining through even in this unexpected moment.

[dosesofcommonsense]

Remember that “kids in cages” lie spread about Trump? Well, guess when it started…I’ll wait…

Bill Clinton. GW continued it. Obama continued it. Trump ended it. Biden brought it back, just like he cancelled Trump’s DNA testing at the border. Had that still been in effect, the current regime wouldn’t have lost almost 300,000 children.

Back to HRC and Trump’s 2020 “shithole country” comments. He just said what everyone else, including the immigrants, thought.

OMG, so offensive (we’ve covered that feeling bs before) yet here’s an unlimited pass to endless free money.

**That 71% has grown since Trump won.

Legal immigrants are not like illegal immigrants. There’s the criminality difference. There’s also the reality that legal immigrants help our country. They pay taxes and contribute to the system.

Wow…that “white” privilege is crushing.

Also, opting not to include white in all those other categories sounds racist (part sarcasm, part chatter).

Also, can we look at the land of opportunity for ALL Americans?!

Optimized legal immigration of people who can immediately contribute to society without being an immediate drain on society sounds like a decent condition to factor into approvals (since it’s stipulated in the agreement of becoming an American).

This is common sense stuff, why would it piss off liberals?

Besides, those same people bitching about people scorning immigrants is also telling you that Capitalism is evil (while working off their phone at a cafe of their choosing) from their paid-for social media account. If Capitalism is bad, why aren’t the caravans stopping in pick-another-country?

Yeah. It’s not that Americans hate immigrants. It’s that we hate people who cut in line and steal from us. Congress lies and steals all the time. Why do you think America went with Trump instead of Kamala? That Kamala would help sneak more illegals into the country is unconscionable; she should be arrested on the spot for treason - her and everyone like her.

[jasper-pagan-witch]

Three Kings Divination Spread

After rounds of testing and refining, I present to you, the completed Three Kings Divination Spread! This is a spread used for getting advice (which, in my opinion, all good tarot spreads should do to varying degrees).

Feel free to use this for yourself or for free readings, but do not use it for paid readings and do not claim that you invented this particular spread. I went through a lot of trouble to figure this whole thing out and troubleshoot it over on @jasper-tarot-reader. Other than that, I don't care what you do with it. Print it out, eat it, shit on it, I don't care.

Finally, if you independently decide to invent your own Three Kings-inspired tarot thing, great! More of us should be poking at Creepypastas for inspiration, and there are a shitload of other ways to approach this ritual-story and turn it into a spread, some of which I worked on before I narrowed down to this. Get silly with it.

The Story

The Three Kings Ritual was originally posted on Reddit's r/NoSleep under the title "Please don't actually try this." by FableForge. This is a ritual creepypasta focused on helping you tap into (but not travel to) a place that the OP calls the Shadowside in order to ask questions and have them answered, sometimes with more questions.

It's a very short Creepypasta and it's worth reading in full to understand this spread in its entirety. You need the context of the source for the reading to help it make sense, even moreso than the average pop culture tarot spread.

We are not going through all that trouble to tap fully into the Shadowside. Instead, we are using the general theory of this ritual-story as a framing device for a standard advice-seeking reading, potentially tapping into other entities (pop culture or not) for their perspectives.

The Setup

There are several things you need in order to get started:

three tarot decks

a strong appreciation for and decent understanding of the elements that line up with the tarot suits

a large surface to do the readings on, ideally with you sitting facing the north (or north-ish) so you have plenty of room for cards

something to prop up the Kings/Queen and Fool so that they can "see" both you and the other card

Ideally, you will want to use two decks with incredibly established "characters" for the Court cards, and one deck with unestablished "characters" for the Court cards for the querent.

You will then sit roughly as seen below:

The red cards are your significators, which we will talk about more in the next section, while the white cards with the black details are the actual ones you draw for the reading. I usually cap it at two cards each. You will be sitting facing the north (as is seen in the original Creepypasta) at a table or desk with plenty of space for the cards and reading to spread out.

This spread is broken up into two categories: In Court and Out Of Court. It is entirely up to you about whether or not your question is for within your Court or from outside of it. Regardless of the version, you choose the Court whose element you are most connected to.

In Court readings are typically best for questions in which you are the primary decision-maker but would like advice. This version has you as the King (represented by the King/Queen card) and grants you the Queen (represented by the other Queen/King of the same suit) and the Fool (represented by the Knight/Page of the same suit).

Out Of Court readings are typically best for questions in which you are on equal decision-making footing with others (typically spirit guides or deities) or you need advice from someone who is an equal. This version has you as a King (represented by the King/Queen) and involves picking two equivalent Kings (if you use a King card yourself, use two more Kings; if you use a Queen card, use two more Queens) from other suits.

If your tarot deck has renamed the Court members, choose from the "top two". For example, in the Transient Light Tarot, I would choose from the Crown (King) or Keeper (Queen) instead of the Champion (Knight) or Apprentice (Page).

(Since my practice with the four elements involves them having an allied element, an enemy element, and a neutral element, I typically pick the allied and neutral elements to the querent's element.)

This is why you need three decks - the Querent deck, the Queen/King deck, and the Fool/King deck - to represent their respective advice. Fandom decks for pieces of media you enjoy can actually be useful for this even if they otherwise suck as divination tools, since you already know the characters quite well.

I tend to work clockwise - the querent in the middle, the Queen/one of the Kings at the northwest/11 o'clock position, and the Fool/the other King at the northeast/1 o'clock position. But I've also accidentally reversed it a few times and it still came out fine as long as the cards were in their right spots.

The Reading

This is the most standard part of this reading. You are going to refer to yourself as King [Querent Name] or Queen [Querent Name] and use the formal titles of your Queen and Fool/other two Kings (if they have them) while asking your question. You will also have to repeat your query and any background information three times.

Do not belittle yourself in the reading - you are the querent, you are the one with the most agency in this reading, you are a King getting advice from your Court or speaking to Kings of other Courts, and there is nothing to fear. You are merely getting advice from beings that you respect the opinions, thoughts, and advice of.

When drawing cards for the reading, keep it balanced. Don't draw one card for yourself, three for the Queen, and two for the Fool. Everyone gets equal say in this spread.

Don't be surprised if the "advice to yourself" portion (the Querent part) just reiterates the problem. This is helpful too, because it gives you a good look at the situation in the context of the rest of the cards. You are both reading the cards separately (as advice from the different Court members) and together (as one giant clusterfuck reading, just separated into understandable chunks).

Finally, expect this to knock you on your ass if you pour energy into your readings. Three decks and an average of six cards plus searching for the three Court cards beforehand for the reading and, if you're me, tapping into the pop culture entities involved (even accidentally but I keep doing it) will wipe you the fuck out. At the risk of using a metaphor, you are not examining already-identified patches in your tomato garden, you are getting lost in the woods and fighting a coyote with nothing but a plastic water bottle and a stick you found on the ground. And sometimes that's what you need in life to get some good advice.

[iznsfw]

above the law, (under you)

TWICE's Chou Tzuyu x Male Reader Smut

4,629 words

Categories | lawyer!Tzuyu x criminal!you, thighjob, blowjob

Quick one for TWICE's maknae. Hope you like it.

The thing about law is that it's actually quite flexible. Forget what your law professors taught you and all those fines the government threatens. If you manage to lie with just a bit of space for truth to distort your falsehoods into, you can get out of anything easily. That's certain, actually, no matter what consequences are inscribed into whatever bible juries and judges have. Maybe you'd only have to spend a few days in jail, probably narrowly avoid a death sentence. 

At least, that's how it works when you've got a good lawyer. 

Oh, yeah, that's what Tzuyu is for. Lucky you.

"So you understand," she says, spreading your files on the desk like it were butter across toast (don't mind the choice of comparison; your stomach is growling), "that it gets suspicious."

Actually, you don't. "Do elaborate."

Tzuyu sighs. She drags a hand along her golden hair. Normally, colored hair in the courtroom would be looked down on, but she's reached that kind of status that it doesn't matter what she does or who she represents—whether she wins or loses the trial for you, she's Chou Tzuyu, and everyone still gives her the deserved respect. 

But with you, the situation is more dangerous. It's a hit or miss with you, and now, the two of you are getting closer and closer to missing.

"You've been in and out of juvie since you were in middle school," she says, one pinky up to count the factors. Another as she goes on, "And you haven't stopped robbery and physical assault since then. You raged in the divorce court, too, so trust me: when it comes to custody of your kid, it doesn't get easier."

Three fingers. Three's the charm, right?

"Well," you curl down the sides of your mouth and raise your hands, "obviously."

Again, you're lucky to have Tzuyu. She's the only one who's paid enough to put up with your bullshit. She's the only one who can get you out of said bullshit. If you said that to anybody else, they'd kick you out, and you know enough already about being excluded and rejected.

That's not to say you feel sorry for yourself, just to be clear. You're too used to this rowdy lifestyle that your own actions don't humiliate you. Neither does the fact that you haven't matured from the age of sixteen. 

In that case, you do feel sorry for Tzuyu, though. She's an intelligent and beautiful young woman. She's only going forward from here on out, but you'll always hang onto the hem of her dress pants like a tail. You're a mistake that no Mongol pencil top can erase, and that's been sealed into her mind long after she accepted to represent you. 

She's the one getting paid anyway. No need to muck over it.

"Did you do it, though?" Tzuyu asks. 

"Do what?"

"Did you beat up your ex-wife's husband in front of her?" 

Honesty is a virtue that only your lawyer is deserving of. So, "Yeah."

Tzuyu pinches her nose. "And the drunk texts?"

"Uh huh."

"The lamb blood on the yard?" 

"All me, baby," you answer. 

You're a bit regretful, to be honest. Not for the fucked up shit you did to coax your ex-wife into getting back with you, but with how you failed to use your own blood to write out "YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MINE, DAHYUN!" in front of her house. But you've already crossed one too many lines.

"You sound proud," Tzuyu notes. "Don't you realize how this can influence the trial?"

Do you? Probably, but you've gone to court so many times, against so many people, that it's become like a second home. The Corinthian columns looming over you don't scare you anymore. Neither do the judge and jury.

Maybe the reason you keep fucking shit up is the need for something to feel?

You haven't felt anything in a long time besides anger. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why you keep doing what you do despite knowing it can ruin your few good relationships with the few good people who deal with you.

"You can get me out of this alright, Tzuyu," you say. Prop your feet on the opposite plush seat that stands at the front of her desk. "Just lie—you know, it's your job."

"I'm a lawyer, not a magician," Tzuyu says, speaking through her grinding teeth. "I'm not another foolproof way to buy yourself out of consequences."

"That's nice. Got that comeback off searching 'badass lawyer quotes'?"

Tzuyu stares at you. She's really too cute to be in a courtroom, but the way her full lips are set and her eyes glare through your soul make you remember that she's up there for a reason. All these certificates and awards placed on her wall and bookshelves aren't out of nothing. She deserves respect from you because she's still your lawyer, she's still your only way out of going to prison.

"You just… don't care, huh," Tzuyu remarks. "Everything about this is just one huge joke to you."

Her tone isn't far from her usual formal one, but it's mixed with realization, too. She realizes that you'll always be like this. It's not your job or your kids or work—it's you. It's all on you.

"But really," she continues, with a small, bitter laugh, "the funny thing is I actually held out hope for you."

She did? 

You've been waiting a lifetime to feel something that isn't rage. You're surprised to find out that it would happen, and the thing would be guilt.

"I—I thought that if I did everything I could for you," she says, her fists curling tighter to the beat of every syllable, "for you to get away scot-free, you'd actually put some sense in yourself." She smiles sarcastically. "But I was stupid to think that, wasn't I?" 

Everyone's been disappointed in you one way or another. It's no lie that your parents are. There's also a reason why your siblings won't talk to you anymore. But the disappointment riding off Tzuyu's words hurt unexpectedly. It breaks you. 

It also, somehow, angers you. 

"Get out of my office." She points to the door. "I'm done with you."

"No, you're fucking not," you reply. 

Tzuyu's accustomed to your banter and attitude, but that actually stops her in her tracks. She looks at you with disbelief.

Your smile quakes with anger. "We're not done until I say so, Tzuyu."

"That doesn't work on me."

"Come on, let's face it, attorney," you say, stressing the title with false respect. Set your hands on the desk scattered with files and folders. "You like me."

Tzuyu rolls her eyes. "Oh, please, spare me the—"

"No." 

Your steps trace a marble path to the back of her desk, to the place that should be off-limits to you. You never raped or anything, but you remain a criminal, and she remains a lawyer who has to set boundaries. 

However, all boundaries are crossed when you've got her backed up to the edge of her desk, when her pretty face is centimeters away, and your hands are itching to tear the high fashion uniform off her slender body.

It's the first time you've ever seen Chou Tzuyu scared. Her face is set to a poker expression in the courtroom and out of it, but seeing her parted lips and wide doe eyes ignite your emotions. It's new, it's different, and you love it more than you should.

"Come on, Tzuyu," you press, tilting your head to the side. "You know why you want to keep defending me after all the fuckery I did."

"And what can that be?" Tzuyu asks. Her brows are raised.

Another question, you see. This girl really should stop inquiring about things she knows well the answer to, but, graciously, you say it out loud for her. You're a good guy like that. "Didn't I say it already? You like me. Admit it: you're tired of defending guys who at best stole from Walmart. You want the real horror. You want me."

It's all delusions to grope for the upper hand, but you see Tzuyu's eyes. You can read them well from all the time you've unwillingly(?) spent together, you know that her rare expression of vulnerability means something:

You've caught her.

"Oh." Smile. Your rambling holds some truth after all. "So I'm right. Of course you like me."

"Don't flatter yourself," Tzuyu snaps. She struggles to keep eye contact with you. 

"No, no." Guide her face to meet your gaze. "You want some relief. It's not easy being a lawyer, definitely not easier to fall for a psychopath client. But it just happens. You can't control it."

She swallows, looks down, and shakes her head. That's something she's humble enough to admit. "No…" 

"Of course. I can give you what you want, you know."

"I don't want anything from you," says Tzuyu. Her eyes fire an unspoken word of caution to you. "You don't know what you're trying to do."

"For a lawyer," you chuckle, "you're a terrible liar. I thought that was the whole thing with you people."

"I told you to leave already." 

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere," you say, sliding your hands down to her tiny thing of a waist, "until you tell me what you actually feel."

You can feel Tzuyu's breaths accent the rises and rests of her tight midriff. She's contemplating this over, but she knows that she's grown fond of you. You know this, too. Like you said, there's a reason for her staying with you. 

You have to admit you've grown fond of seeing her, too. Her face is more than easy on the eyes. Hearing her as well is an everyday delight; her soft voice is melodious, even when she's describing your crimes. 

So, what's there to say? 

"It's not right," Tzuyu says. The shakes of her head are too repetitive to be sincere. "I can't be biased towards you. I… I have to be professional."

"It's just you and me, sweet," you quip. Step closer so that her body's flush against your form and her gaze can go nowhere. "Live a little. Who cares if it's wrong?"

"My career—" she tries.

"Tzuyu. Come on. Fuck the convict you want so badly. I put you through enough already."

Understanding passes through her eyes, mingled with hesitation and a sprinkle of fear. She wonders, as she peers at your face from a taller height, how you knew about the whole crush ordeal. Was she too obvious? Flirty? Patient? It can be one or the other, and she'd still have to dial it down.

But her heart skips several beats that her words come unrehearsed. Your hands at her waist, so close yet so far to where she needs them to be, trigger her needs. 

So, there it is: she needs you. She has to accept that.

"O-okay," Tzuyu finally agrees. 

"There you are. You finally came around."

"Just shut up and fuck me."

"Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?" Your shameless kisses end up on her neck and collarbone that peek through the ends of her blazer and the neckline of her innerwear. "I know you thought about it, Tzuyu. How I'd bend you over on this desk, fuck your brains out, make you cum more times than you can count."

As you pull the blazer from her body, Tzuyu hisses, "Don't get too happy, dickhead."

How unprofessional of her. But you have to admit it feels powerful to be able to extract the most unladylike of words from a woman who'd never dare utter them. And you're just getting started—she's only sitting on the edge of her desk, and not even filled with your cock yet. 

Your fingers aren't idle. They appreciate her tall curves and the fullness of her thighs. They even slip under that pencil skirt to feel around for her center. 

Of course, you find it. You find it under a layer of flimsy shorts and panties. Tease her clit; have her legs join in attempts to undergo the stimulation. 

And then—

"Oh my god," she whines. Tzuyu purses her lips. Curls her fingers at the cliff of the desk. "Feels so good."

"I know it does," says you. "Why don't you return the favor? Jerk off my cock with those pretty hands?"

Her posture becomes too straight to be proper as you press your fingers at her sensitive pink walls. "I've done too much for you. Y-you don't deserve any more favors."

That's fair. She's still a smart girl, even when she's soaking your fingers. 

Can she be a good girl? To be a good girl or not to be—that is the question.

"You're right. My cock deserves to be inside you, not just in your hand."

The faster pace has Tzuyu's legs jerking. "Fuck you."

Chuckle. "You are."

Maybe you don't need a handjob as a warm-up. Your cock already erects by itself watching Tzuyu react and moan to your digits pumping in and out of her. Her beautiful arms, free from the blazer, struggle and strain to stay upwards with how quick you're fingerfucking her. Her unkempt whines are so unlike her that there's complete pride inside of you, an arrogance, even, that's birthed from the fact that you make her like this. You're so fucked up that it turns her on when it shouldn't, and now that you're fucking her, the immorality of everything gets her wet. 

"P-please," she says. Her doe eyes are watery with need. 

She's never said that outside of the courtroom, where she says that only for formality's sake. But here she is, anyway, begging you for something she'll have to spell out if she doesn't want you to go crazy and fuck her in every corner of her office. 

Maybe that's what you'd do anyway.

"What is it, Tzuyu?" you ask. Your fingers strain while the heel of your hand hits and rubs her clit. "Tell me what you want. Tell me what you need."

"Please," again, "faster. Oh my god, that's all I ever want, please go faster."

No more do her legs close. Rather, they part. They welcome your thrusts and rubs. She's completely allowing you to fuck her, despite how wrong it is and how it can screw up your future trials. Bias this and bias that are things she doesn't care about anymore. All she knows is that her nipples ache to be pinched, and her pussy awaits more of your thrusts because she's close. So close that she could taste euphoria already.

"Should I go rougher, hm?"

"Please, fffuck, I don't know." As you squeeze one of her handful-sized breasts, she bites her lip hard. "Just fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, make me c-cum—"

When Tzuyu orgasms, it's messy yet quiet. Her formality shows up even in sex. Her moans are tight and so is her pussy as it clenches down on your fulfilling digits, and you have to perk your ears up to hear her sounds of pleasure. She's still a quiet girl, barely talkative (though you've managed to pull a few pleas out of her already), and you're completely trying to change that with your pumps.

Your lips create a purple bruise on her neck. Tzuyu sighs and gasps helplessly. She's wetting your fingers like a flood, and you keep provoking the natural yet woman-made disaster; you drag your fingers at her velvety, weak spots and venture deeper. 

You don't have to ask her if it was good. She's panting heavily, and sucks on the soaked fingers you've led to her face to calm herself down. Watching her pink lips work away at your hand, as if she were suckling something completely different, makes you more turned on. Her warm wet mouth deserves to be somewhere else rather than just your pointer and middle.

"Now that wasn't so bad," you say. Draw them out of her mouth. "You didn't leave any for me to taste. How selfish."

"You still could." Tzuyu points to her mouth. 

It's clear that she's wanted you to kiss her forever. When your lips press against her mouth, she immediately slips her tongue inside. You return the favor, but also to have her own self-made taste of love. 

As expected, she's fucking delicious. 

You hold her head in place as the two of you kiss for seconds that felt like hours. After, you're breathless.

"You're a good kisser," she comments. 

"You want me to tell you what else is good?" 

"Oh, please. Show, not tell." 

Your belt's off and soon, your trousers are as well. Tzuyu's gazing at your hard cock with admiration. It just boosts your pride and arrogance—you can never tell the difference between the two when they mix and match with each other so often.

"No one told me criminals had big dicks," says Tzuyu. She skates her hand on your cock, stroking it softly. Her eyes have left it and instead seal on your faltering gaze. 

"You learn something new everyday." Try not to make your shuddering breaths obvious when she starts jerking you off. "You like?"

"I think… I think I want to suck it."

"Go ahead. No one's stopping you."

"There're a lot of people stopping me," she informs you. "If they find out I'm fucking a client, then what?"

She doesn't live up to her words of concern because she hops off the table cleanly and kneels anyway. Her small face looks even tinier next to your cock. And you realize now how her mouth is miniscule too after she wraps her lips around your cockhead. 

You shiver. 

Tzuyu's staring again. 

This time, her large eyes are directed up at you. She doesn't have to focus on your dick when her mouth is doing it for her. With each harsh swipe of her tongue on your tip and the drawing of her mouth closer to the base, your cock grows wetter with her drool and precum. 

"Your mouth is amazing, Tzuyu," you say. You're not afraid to admit that.

She responds to you not with words, but with more suckling. She closes her lips around your base then slowly brings her mouth up. She repeats this cycle of pleasure until your whole rod is coated with her. When she feels you throb in her orifice, she giggles—what's more satisfying than seeing the guy who put her through hell become weak?

You're in a daze of your own, too. As much as you like seeing Tzuyu dominate the court with her steady voice and no-nonsense look, she looks so much better when she's on her knees. When her hands wrap your hips to thrust her head forward and force your length down her tight throat. When the usually serious look in her eyes fades into obscurity and is replaced with an almost innocent look that says "come on, use me, fuck my mouth."

That's exactly what you do anyway. You don't need her prodding to fuck her pretty face.

Tzuyu's hums vibrate on your sensitive flesh. The back of your cock slides deliciously on her tongue and almost all of your rod slides down her throat. It bulges; you can tell even without looking down. She's a slim girl after all. It's easy to fuck and fold and use her. This situation isn't any different.

"Yeah, that's it," you say, grinning. "Take my cock, Tzuyu. Take it like a good girl."

Her ears burn. Her thighs squirm together, and that's how you find out that she might like being called a good girl more than you'd think. Stroking her hair that looks like it was personally woven with real gold has her whining. You can't believe the tough lawyer has a submissive side, too. 

Has she done this before? She seems to be taking the thrusts to the back of her throat well. Perhaps she simply enjoys this. You'll never know.

"I'm gonna cum, Tzuyu," you announce. "You better swallow it all like the slut you are."

Her cheeks hollow as your cum fills her mouth. Her lips remain sealed on your tip so the flow of your semen ends up nowhere but inside her. 

After you pull out, you realize then that you've just fucked your lawyer's face. It's like everything was a lucid dream that eventually blended into reality, because there's Tzuyu, still kneeling and gulping down your cum, and your cock out in the open between your bare legs. There are lines you've crossed before, but you never thought you'd do the same to the boundary that's been set between you and Tzuyu. 

Where's the rage you felt earlier? Why does arousal take its place?

"I'm not a slut, by the way," says Tzuyu airily. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "I'm not your good girl either."

"Oh, alright. Does that mean you won't let me fuck you?"

"Jerk," she spits. "Your cock isn't even that big."

"I guess I should leave then. You were a good fuck, Tzuyu." 

Turn your heel with faux intention to exit, like she's told you to do earlier, but you're pulled towards her again. She tugs your wrist and pulls you to herself, her ass snug against the edge of the table and you pressed against her slim frame.

Okay, so—

"I fucking hate you." Tzuyu tears the buttons off your shirt with a clean rip, and kisses your chest. Your neck. Grabs your waist to ensure that you're going nowhere. " I hate that you're so fucking annoying. I hate that I can't spend all day fucking myself on your huge cock."

"Did you just say I had a huge cock?" 

"Like I said," Tzuyu snarls, "shut up."

Whatever snarky response you could have come up with on the spot is lost into an embarrassingly loud moan. She's forced your still sensitive cock inside her, and now her hips are dancing forward and back. It's a dance of death with how it bears its weight on your mind and girth. 

"Thought I told you to be quiet," she says smugly.

Her skirt has ridden up her waist. You take advantage of this to get a feel for her thighs. They're slim yet round at the same time, creating the perfect balance that fits your squeezing hands. Tug on them to pull her closer. Your remaining inches make it past her folds, and Tzuyu moans in delight.

"And I thought you didn't like me," you say. But it's difficult to be cocky when her tight little pussy is just that good, squeezing you as if determined to drain your might and taking you good and well. 

Tzuyu scoots her wide hips side to side, arms sedentary on the sides of the table as she rests down on it, and bites her lip. Intentional or not, it's too fucking sexy. "Things change."

So, that's how it works out: your lawyer on the flat of her desk, above scattered piles of papers describing your crimes and issuing your statements, with her legs spread around your midriff and receiving your cock as a traveller in the desert would receive water. She's desperate, is what you're saying—her gasps are timed to the beat of your thrusts, and she's accompanying it with soft curses. This whole sex thing could be a song, you see. Tzuyu can play the vocals, and her cleavage that bounces behind her vest could be looped and made into a matching music video. It's just so perfect.

"So good, you're so good," she sighs, her mind addled with thoughts of you ruining her insides and, probably, fill her up with semen. "Fuck me harder. Touch me. Use me, my god, just fuck me."

You pull up her vest to devour her breasts. The brown nipples end up in your mouth, suckled on and chewed, while the softness of her small tits are relished with squeezes. Tzuyu whimpers quietly, volume hushed down as it always is with her. Although her quiet whines turn you on, it's the will inside you to have the silent lawyer screaming that propels your thrusts. Drives them with a purpose that's so specific your hips could have a mind of their own. 

Dragging her vest off her torso is how you see that your cock is bulging through her tight midriff. The lines of her abs hide not your cock forcing yourself through her hole. Tzuyu notices it, too, and you feel her become wetter underneath you, because she loves it. She loves how wrong this is, how she's letting a person she shouldn't even be acquaintances with outside of her career use her like a doll.

"P-please," she says (for the millionth time, yes, but you'll never grow tired of hearing it.)

"Should I go harder?" Do exactly that, rutting her against the table, even without her answer. "Rub this little thing here?"

Tzuyu cries out. There's a completed mission—you've finally forced her to scream, and it's all thanks to your thumb toying with her clit.

"Oh my god!" she yelps. She looks at you with eyes filled with shock at how good it feels. "Oh my god, yes, keep doing that! It feels so—fuck!"

"Keep screaming like that and I'll make you cum. Do you want to cum, Tzuyu?"

She nods dumbly. "Yes, make me cum. M-make me cum around that stupid big dick, I love it so much, please!"

You're reaching places inside her that her own fingers couldn't embark to. The bulge on her stomach goes farther, and you think of how you're rearranging her guts so deliciously, how she's pounding at the table in frustration and pleasure and screaming, and how you can give her bliss with just a few more pumps.

Your thrusts hold purpose—they're driven by Tzuyu's boobs lifting with the creaks of her desk, the squeeze of her pussy as it swallows you whole, the helpless look on her face. She's so beautiful, really, and you're glad to be able to—

"Gonna make me cum!" she wails. "Gonna make me cum, gonna make me cum, don't fucking stop!"

Tzuyu's pleasure reaches an all-time high. She clenches as hard as her muscles can bear and screams. Her throat must be sore because of that, so you don't forget to kiss all over it as you extract a violent orgasm from her with rough, untimed pumps. 

She's shivering, eyes unfocused. She's rambling senseless words that don't quite give clues to what they should be comprehended as.

That's exactly what you want.

You pull out. "I want to fuck your thighs." Show so after that: slip your dick in between her soft, supple skin, and add, "Gonna explode on that fucking stomach."

"W-why not inside me?" whines Tzuyu. She closes her eyes as your cock unintentionally brushes over her folds and prods at her bundle of nerves.

"You're already fighting to give me custody of my kid," you chuckle. "What makes you think I want another?"

Tzuyu manages a laugh. You're too laser-focused on fucking her thighs though to appreciate her first love beauty when she smiles, since you're as close as you can be. With the soft flesh holding your length captive as you pray for your soul not to be by the eyes of justice, you have no choice but to do what you said: cum on her tight midriff.

White above tan skin is a beautiful color on your lawyer.

"You're… you're a little evil, you know that?" Tzuyu makes out. She glances at the puddle of cum on her rising stomach with fascination.

"Oh, love." Lean down to kiss her, with your arm pillaring the space on the table not occupied with paperwork. "You're just now figuring that out?"

[aesethewitch]

Advertisement Adversaries #3: "Monthly Check-In Spread"

Hello, and welcome to Advertisement Adversaries! I'm Aese, a witch of many years with a background in marketing/advertising and business writing/editing. This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website.

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Advertisement Details

Who is the advertiser -- or who do they claim to be? Who is their apparent primary audience? What are they selling? What's their tone? What's the vibe? What are the first impressions?

This entry is covering a seller I know for a fact is legitimate. We've chatted quite a bit, and they actually requested for me to dip into their listings for an ADversary post! So, while this seller is going to remain anonymous and the usual rules of "don't go find this person" apply, this is someone I've talked to and have gotten consent from for this project.

This seller is relatively new to the witchblr/tarotblr scene, but they're pretty active. Posts abound about their practice, tools, and various interests. I may or may not have spent a couple hours just scrolling in fascination. I have a soft spot for unique, home-grown practices that are unafraid to get a little weird with it, and this seller's blogs really hit the spot. I'm a fan.

For the purposes of this article, I'm focusing primarily on this person's divination blog, mostly because their Ko-Fi shop is all divinatory offerings. As an animist, all of their tools have names and distinct personalities which inform the readings provided with those tools. There's actually a whole post dedicated to the tools they have in their collection - and it's a considerable collection, indeed! "Avid" is certainly the right word. Lots to choose from, and it seems you can request specific tools for some types of readings.

In their pinned post, they cite that they've been practicing divination for about three years (as of this writing), working at it almost every day. It's a short amount of time in comparison to some readers around these parts, but dedicating to almost-daily readings for three years is impressive!

And it shows! All readings, even paid ones, are published publicly on a side blog dedicated to divinatory readings, tool reviews, and other divination-related posts. Their average readings are lengthy, providing ample detail and pictures of all cards (or other items, in the case of their charm sets) drawn for the readings.

The overall tone of their readings is kind, written for ease of access, and very friendly. This seller strikes me as approachable and knowledgeable. The types of readings they offer are unique enough to stand out while also being familiar enough to be comfortable.

I do think that their primary audience, based on the types of readings they offer, is going to be other practitioners and diviners. They tend to be very in-depth and specific, which isn't always appealing to a general audience. The only issue with this is that other diviners are very likely to do their own reading or ask for one from a friend than pay a sum for one. It's a tougher market, but a worthwhile one, as clients tend to be of a higher quality overall.

This seller uses Tumblr as their primary medium for receiving requests and giving readings, but they use Ko-Fi as a transactional hub. The listing we're focusing on is for a Monthly Check-In Spread:

I chose this one because it's the one I would consider the middle ground between their really unique readings and the "standard" readings you might find anywhere. Twenty cards is, if you didn't know, a shit load. For only $10.00, that's fifty cents per card - an absolute steal.

Now, there are no images for any of these listings. That's not necessarily a real negative, since all of these readings are published publicly on Tumblr. You can easily find examples of the same readings to see what you're getting. For this reading, it may not really be necessary to have an image of an example spread. But for the other unusual readings in the commissions listings, it might be helpful to have. Plus, it makes links to the listings more attractive, too.

First impressions for this listing and the shop are pretty positive, if bland. If I didn't know this seller personally, I might be a little put off by having to contact them before making a commission request. A lot of more casual clients are unlikely to want to do that, and you might miss out on sales because of it. That said, you do mitigate a lot of issues with people breaking rules, asking for things you can't do, and just generally being uncool. It's a trade-off, one that shouldn't be made lightly.

The primary selling points here are the uniqueness of the readings offered, the vast variety of tools available, and the personality of the reader. My first impression is that their newness is pretty obvious, but they have a lot of potential for greatness. I really hope their requests pick up (to still-comfortable levels, of course), because their style deserves the attention.

Now, let's get into our rating criteria!

Clarity

How clear is the language? Does it use a bunch of obscure terms or talk in circles? Is it obvious what the buyer will receive based on this listing alone?

Let's pull up that product description again, just to have it.

This, like all other listings here, is very straightforward. It says exactly what you're going to get: Twenty cards drawn and interpreted to predict the next four weeks ahead. I particularly appreciate that the description breaks it down a little further, saying you get the month overview, weekly breakdowns, and the blessing and burden for each week.

Each listing contains the directions to contact the seller before requesting a reading on Ko-Fi. The seller explained to me directly that this is to prevent rule breaking and to ensure they're able to perform the reading. I really get this, personally, since I also sell on Ko-Fi. There are fees from PayPal and Stripe (and Ko-Fi itself, if you're doing the contributor thing for extra features) that you won't get back if you do a refund. You essentially eat those fees, which sucks for even an established, very successful seller.

However, as mentioned above, I do think it's a turn-off for many potential clients. It's not the kind of thing to require lightly. This is, though, very much a personal choice. And I think it's explained here pretty clearly. The other thing about it is that I assumed this meant DMing on Tumblr, since it's DMing on Ko-Fi; but rereading their pinned post with a closer eye, I realize they want you to send an ask on Tumblr, not a DM. They don't read DMs. It's really important to make that distinction!

If I had to nitpick something for clarity about the service itself, I would say it's in how the twenty cards are allotted to the four weeks. Is it five cards drawn per week? Or is it a more holistic approach to the month as a whole? How are we dividing that up? Personally, I want just a little more detail so I understand exactly what I'm getting. However, I realize I'm pretty picky in that regard, and I genuinely think the way it's worded now is fine for the average client. The solution would be to reach out and ask, which is exactly what the seller wants, anyways.

One other thing I could nitpick is for clarity in how long the reading will take to complete. I assume it depends on the queue ahead of me, the complexity of the reading, how long it takes to go back and forth in our conversations... but I don't want to assume, I'd like to be told. An approximation is enough - something like, "I reply to DMs within one business day. Readings are usually complete within a week of payment confirmation." That way, someone doesn't get pissed when they don't get their reading within a day or two.

Overall, Clarity gets a somewhat critical 4/5 for me, with half a point off for each of the nitpicky things. Very solid.

Transparency

Is the seller honest about their refund/returns policy? Is it obvious where materials are being sourced? Is the seller being honest and clear about their credentials and/or qualifications?

As you progress through the Ko-Fi screens, we reach the Terms and Conditions blurb, which gives us our refunds policy:

This is a standard place to put refunds information. Not offering refunds once services are provided is also standard. On the one hand, sellers often have to eat the cost of transaction fees on refunds. And on the other, it prevents people from getting readings and then unfairly demanding refunds for no reason, scamming sellers out of their time and money.

Reiterating the message-first policy is pretty smart. It's not a common requirement, and putting it in two places (especially somewhere people have to check an "I Agree" box to move on) means the client is likelier to actually read it.

Now, there's one thing here that stands out to me: The mention that the reading will be published on Tumblr. This is repeated in their pinned post on their readings blog, which they require all prospective clients, whether free or paid, to read for a full run-down of rules. (Fairly standard, in my opinion; reading terms/rules before requesting any reading is polite.)

The first is that I wonder whether I'll get a personal copy of the reading. If I didn't have a Tumblr, how would I receive the reading? Even if their primary audience is on Tumblr, this limits their growth opportunities for the future. Sending a copy of the reading directly to the querent be more sustainable in the long-run.

The second is, what if I would rather have my reading be 100% private? Is that an option at all, or is it required that the reading be public? The pinned post states that I can be anonymous in the reading, so I assume I can't have the reading be totally private to just me. Which brings me back around to the question of whether the public post is going to be the only record of the reading, or if I'll also receive a personal version of it via email or something similar.

Either way, this would be, personally, a pretty big turn-off for the reading. I generally prefer to have my readings be private, and having a reading I've paid for be published for the public to see is something I wouldn't love. This isn't a big deal to everyone, but for personal matters or sensitive subjects, I could definitely see this preventing some folks from buying - even at such a steal of a price. If you didn't read the pinned post carefully enough (which I admittedly missed this, despite reading it three or four times for this article! I knew free readings were all published; it was the paid readings I didn't realize were published), and this is when you found out your reading would be put on Tumblr publicly... well, it'd certainly make me wish I knew before going through all the trouble of reaching out, chatting, and then almost paying. Of course, I doubt it would actually get that far - the conversation had would most likely discuss the publication terms, just to confirm them if nothing else.

However, on the good side, this seller is honest about how much experience they have, quoting the exact date they started doing divination right in their pinned post. They also state in the same pinned post that they're not perfect, and that sometimes, they might be wrong in their predictions. I really appreciate a reader who's humble enough to tell the truth like that. It gives big points to Transparency.

They also, in the same pinned post, list out various views they hold about divination and what you as a client ought to expect. It's a simple, effective code of conduct that displays their expectations for querents and for themselves. Solid.

So, Transparency is overall not bad. I'm giving this seller 4/5, with points off for the public/private questions and points added back in for the frankness.

Presence

Is the seller present anywhere other than their shop? Do they share anything about their process, method, or practice anywhere? Are they actually part of a community, or are they just selling something?

As previously mentioned, this seller is very active on Tumblr. I didn't see any other social media attached to their accounts, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Particularly because all of their blogs are chock-full of good stuff: information about their own practices, their tools, things they're excited about, things they're trying, readings from other people, their hobbies, their interests... Hell yeah, honestly.

This person has several side blogs, all for different subjects and focuses. They reblog a lot, but they're also involved in conversations and sharing their own thoughts.

This is someone who is very active in their communities. They're not interacting to make money, they're interacting because it's fun and they like it. Turning their divination practice into a source of income is an extension of that. I genuinely believe that if this seller didn't like divination, they wouldn't bother with it.

They share a ton about their tools and methods. Recently, they've been offering practice readings for free that are so cool. They're engaging with their audience just to engage, but it also provides an essential insight into the way their readings work. This seller answers questions about their readings and practices with an eagerness that shows me exactly how happy they are when doing all this.

All this to say, their Presence is an extremely solid 5/5. I think the only improvement to be made would be tagging their divination reading posts with more popular tags for greater visibility and growth. Keep doing what you're doing.

Genuineness

Are listing photos genuine? Are any images AI, or is any copy written by an AI? Is this a real person selling something, or is this a bot account?

So, there are no listing photos on any of the commission options. Again, this isn't necessarily bad, because this seller publishes all their readings publicly on Tumblr. You can do a quick scroll to see all their tools in action for the readings they've got on offer (plus more!).

All of the images found on the blog are 100% genuine. They're obviously unique, taken of the readings in progress. Nothing here is generated by a machine. The readings are consistent in style across all the posts, and none of the images are repeated. It would be tough to fake these readings, I think, because of the sheer number of tools they've got. There are so many moving parts, it would take more effort to bullshit the readings than do them for real!

I really can't overstate how lovely this seller is. Their interests inform their practices, and there's something very charming about that. It doesn't get much more genuine than someone doing good work just to do good work, for no other reason than they're good at it and it's fun. Once again, hell yeah.

Genuineness gets an obvious 5/5.

Verifiability

Is it obvious how a buyer will know their service is completed? Is it possible for the buyer to know? Are there any reviews verifying the quality/existence of the products or services? Are there negative reviews available?

Like we discussed before, all readings are provided publicly on the seller's Tumblr blog, so it's pretty obvious when the services are completed! I would assume that the client would receive a message letting them know when it's posted. And, based on the other readings published, the client is directly tagged unless they request to be anonymous. So there are a few ways to know.

The seller leaves reblogs on for the readings so that the querent can reblog it, and they include a note at the end requesting that no one but the querent reblog. It's in these reblogs that most feedback is given, but it's sometimes in the replies.

I took a couple hours to scroll and read through all the replies and reblogs to see what folks are saying. (I didn't take any screenshots for the querents' privacy, since the reviews talk about details found in the readings.) Reviews are overall positive, and I'm not surprised. The quality here is very, very high. So high, in fact, that I decided to take a shot at it with a reading for myself. I rarely request readings from other people, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that the reading I was given was both highly accurate and useful. This reader comes recommended by other verified sources in the community, which is, in my opinion, the best kind of verification one can have.

There weren't any overtly negative reviews that I could find, but I think a key detail here is that this blog isn't overly active. It's still pretty new, all things considered, so traffic is more of a trickle than a flood, especially with the seller's recent break from performing readings for others. The feedback this seller has received is thorough, though, and there were bits of advice for improvement sprinkled here and there.

So, overall, Verifiability receives a somewhat biased 5/5. The fact that my own friends, who are themselves accomplished diviners, are able to verify this person's services is a huge boost.

Morality

Are they offering services related to health, mental health, legal services, or other dubious subjects? Are they knowingly targeting a vulnerable audience using buzzwords and inflammatory language? Is the listing sharing misinformation or encouraging belief in conspiracy theories? Does the listing contain debunkable information? Does the listing participate in bigotry, cultural appropriation, bioessentialism, or anything of that nature?

This seller's readings are entirely above-board. Their rules specifically state that they won't do divination for medical, legal, or financial advice. They also specifically say that they won't answer questions that cross lines of closed practices or that disrespects anyone else.

Their services are respectful from start to finish. I would dare to say it's part of their whole Brand.

Not only that, but based on the other blogs this person has, they're someone who is always learning. They very specifically Do Not do bigotry, which you'd think would be a low bar, but so many other sellers I've looked at in the last few months fail to clear it, so... y'know. Their pinned post also specifically asks for people to point out wrongdoing, misinformation, and problems in the content they post, which is a very green flag. Even if I hadn't had the pleasure of talking to this person directly, I'd still rate this person quite high here.

Anyways, by virtue of losing precisely no points in this category, Morality gets a 5/5.

Attractiveness & Pointers

(For legitimate sellers and self-submitted shops only.)

Is the shop/listing attractive? Does it stand out from other listings on the market? Does it establish the seller as unique, interesting, and otherwise worthy of my business? How could it be improved?

Hooray, I get to fill out this category for the first time! Note that there's no rating for this category; it's just an addition with general tips for improvement. It's important to know that these aren't rules, and there are a thousand ways to approach marketing stuff. Opinions, thoughts, ideas, etc. etc. etc.

The first thing I'll say is a repeat of something I said earlier: Images for the more obscure types of readings would probably be a good idea. Either a photo of an example spread or an image that describes the spread in some way attached to the listing is something to consider. Ko-Fi's format for images on commissions is... it's weird. I personally don't have images for my commissions because I hate the way they appear in the list, so I really do think this is a personal choice either way.

Something I've noticed in a few places are a handful of typos. In the reading posts themselves, the spelling and grammar are really good! It's in the listings and disclaimers that there are a couple issues, which I think may be due to inexperience and perhaps fluster with regards to the legality of it all. Let me pull up the Terms and Conditions screenshot for the spread:

It's just a little bit off. It works, to be sure, but the execution is a touch clumsy. In the last sentence of the first paragraph, Ko-Fi should be capitalized, capital-K and capital-F. And in the same paragraph, that last sentence is the strange one. Here's how I'd adjust it, personally:

"Please leave your Tumblr username in the request box so that I can reach you there if needed. If no Tumblr is provided, or if you don't have a Tumblr, I will use Ko-Fi to contact you."

In the final line, as well, I would either place an article of "The" in front of "finished" to make it read "The finished reading will be published..." or make "reading" plural so that it reads "Finished readings will be published..." As it is right now, it isn't 100% grammatically correct.

I'm going to nitpick here a little as well: There are so many disclaimers. Too many, one might say. Having the instructions to contact the seller on Tumblr (or Ko-Fi) before buying in multiple places makes sense, as that's an unusual thing to require. However, I think that having the "entertainment disclaimer" on the main page description, in every listing's description, and in the T&C is excessive, at least on Ko-fi. Narrowing it down to just the main page and Terms is plenty. This makes it significantly easier to update in the future.

Now, note that on a platform like Etsy, having the "entertainment disclaimer" in the product description is good practice. This is because Etsy is a marketplace, and people often aren't clicking through to see the shop description and every other listing. They're using the search bar with a particular term and then clicking on something that's eye-catching. If the disclaimer isn't easily found in the product description, they run the risk of legal troubles.

Ko-Fi isn't really that marketplace. In general, sellers are linking to their pages on social media to an existing audience. Also, I'm of the opinion that Ko-Fi's presentation of Terms and Conditions (and the customizability of them) is significantly better than Etsy's. The text is big and obvious with a box you check and a button you click to say "yes, I've read this, and I agree with it." So, I don't think it's 100% necessary on every single listing.

If I had to pick one more thing with room for improvement, it's discoverability. When I scroll through the most common tags people use for finding tarot readers and other diviners, this seller rarely appears. Why? Because their readings are tagged using their unique filing system (which is a good thing to have!)... and not much else. They tag with "tarot readings," but that's all. Their pinned post with all their information has one tag for their filing system and nothing else.

In talking to this person, they wish they got more requests. It seems to me that they're not really reaching their audience because they're not reaching. In order to be found, you have to be in the tags. To be in the tags, you have to post and tag accordingly. Having a pinned post is all well and good, and reblogging yourself is fine, but that won't make you appear at the top of the tags.

Constantly posting about readings being open can be annoying for the diviner and potential querents. Spam should be avoided. But never posting means never getting discovered! Intermittent posts stating that your readings are open, defining the types of readings you're doing briefly, linking to your pinned/guidelines post, and then adding notes and links for commissions are ideal. Essentially, whenever this person finds themselves going "hm, I wish I was getting requests right now," they should make a fresh post on the readings blog with tags for things like "#free tarot readings," "#free divination," and "#paid divination." It's the best way to get discovered, which is the only way to get requests, which is the only way to get paid.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This seller has a lot of potential. They've got a solid style that comes through clearly in their readings. Over time, as they get more confident, I really do think they'll see a fair amount of success.

Oh, also, raise your prices. Ten dollars for twenty cards is nonsense, unless the entire reading - discussing with the querent, drawing the cards, laying them out, doing the interpretation, writing up the analysis, doing edits, and publishing - takes no more than one hour.

Think in terms of a livable wage: How many hours does a reading take? How much are you trying to make per hour? How much is fair to make per hour? If this reading takes one hour, you're making $10.00 per hour. Is that really fair, even to a novice? And even if you think it is, is it fair to someone more advanced? The time spent honing one's skills is worth compensating. And, for that matter, so is the investment in the tools being used. Consider their cost. If they were all gifts, perhaps it doesn't matter, but think about it. If you were using one tarot deck purchased for $60.00, how many readings would it require to break even on that investment? What about if you're factoring an hourly wage?

Remember: You're not just drawing cards. You're spending time and energy beyond the motions of the divination. The time spent communicating, training, and writing is also part of the service being provided.

Food for thought.

Average Score & Summary

The average of all six scores comes to a total of 4.6/5. Pretty damn good! It feels nice to rate someone so highly.

This seller and their shop have a ton of potential. I know I keep saying that, but it's because it's true! It's my number one takeaway.

Honestly, I think this shop is a really good example of someone who's uncertain but doing their best. They're already aware of their position as a diviner. It's a shockingly easy (and very tempting) thing to grift and lie and manipulate in this space. The fact that this seller is making efforts to be as transparent as possible and shares so much of their practice - holy shit, that list of tools, though! - means a ton.

In a magical services landscape choked with the smog of bullshit artists, frauds, and inflated egos, this seller is a breath of fresh air. I genuinely look forward to seeing their success.

Take notes, folks. This one's textbook.

Final Notes

Many sellers in this series anonymous for a reason. Please do not go find these people. Even if I'm exposing a blatant scam to warn people about it, do not harass anyone. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated. When appropriate, I attempt to contact the seller(s) to discuss their ads and listings *or* report them where possible. Again, do not attempt to contact or bother the sellers, even if my coverage of them is negative.

If you spot an ad or a product listing in the wild that you want me to see or cover, send me a link, a screenshot, or the name of the shop. You can send it via ask or DM on Tumblr or to thewitchaese@gmail.com. Or, if you're a legitimate seller and want me to take a look at your listings (anonymous or not), shoot me a message or an email to chat about it! Examples of what to do are just as important as examples of what not to do, after all.

And, if you enjoy this series or my other work, please consider dropping a couple dollars in my tip jar! Writing is my full-time gig, and contributions help keep this boat afloat.

Thanks for reading!

[sweetwolfcupcake]

Wildflower: 05

The Secret Garden

John Wick x Reader

Category: Short Series

Warning: Physical attack, actual violence and allusion to violence and brutality and concussion

Note: John is relatively younger in this fic( late thirties to early forties)

Thank you @scarlettspectra for making such amazing GIFs.

Unedited

Wildflower 04

With all the commotion in her life– discovering her mother’s letter, moving to New York after a harrowing confrontation with her father that would fester life-long resentments (or at least a decade-long?) discovering that her mother was no more, getting used to the city and its pace— (Y/N) had come to appreciate the quieter aspects of life more than ever– the lazy days, the quiet mornings at a park, or a morning bicycle ride. 

But perhaps, she should have known…It was not her quiet little town, it was New York City. She had barely paid attention to the quiet rustling of approaching footsteps. She was dumb enough to not even register the barrel of the gun until the cold metal was pressing against the back of her neck.

“Don’t you fucking move bitch! Han–me your wallet.” The voice was heavy and slightly slurred. 

She froze— all the self-defence videos she spent watching after arriving in New York evaporated and she stilled as the reality of the situation bucketed down on her like painful, jagged ice. She whimpered when he pressed the metal roughly against her skull, the coldness dug into her and she knew that it would become a scar at the back of her mind if she made it out alive.

“Didn’t you hear me bitch!” he hissed, shoving the gun harder against her skull, it bumped harshly, making her hiss.

“Okay, okay–” As she tried to get up, she was shoved down, falling on her stomach. 

Her knees were bruised, but with the adrenaline urge, she could hardly register the pain against the fear and her heartbeat thundering against her chest– she could even feel it in her head. She whimpered when she felt his footsteps nearing before a rough hand grabbed her hair.

“Don’t play smart with me— I’ll empty this fucking gun in your dense head.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please just—don’t hurt me!” She felt tears gathering in the corner of her eyes– one blink and her cheeks were dampening.

Her hands shook as she pulled out her wallet and handed it to him, not even considering playing smart.

She turned to look at the man but he tugged her hair harshly, keeping her still.

“And the ring too!”

Her eyes widened at the demand.

“N–No, No, I can't give you that–please!” 

She screamed when he yanked her hair, her scalp burned as fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she shivered when he snatched her hand that had the ring. Roughly taking it off her finger. Her mother’s ring, her mother’s last gift to her.

 No! No, she couldn't let it go!

“No! Give me back my ring— it—” She turned around as soon as he let go of her hair. But her protests were cut short with the back of the gun striking the side of her head. 

—--

It hurt. That was what she registered first before her waking mind began to register the quietness. There was a beep, but it felt like it was somewhere far– consistent though, and the longer she heard it, the closer it came, speeding up, slowing? No, speeding, no, nothing changed.

She felt her eyelids moving as her mind became more coherent. Opening her eyes was a task— but she managed— it was just one blink first, nothing decipherable. But as she blinked again, she saw something move. A black mass– no, a looming form raising up— it seemed all black. In silence, it stood up and walked out of her sight. She wanted to move her head but it was too heavy to move. Every attempt to move it was rewarded with a deep, encompassing ache originating from the side of her head and spreading all over her skull. It made her whimper.

Was it the sound of shutting the door she heard?

She was not sure anymore, instead, she sank back, relaxing on the fluffy surface– a pillow– right, it was soft and good, and she could go back to sleep.

—--

It felt like she had slept only for a minute more when she woke up again. Much more coherent this time. Registering the beeping monitor and the IV. A bit over the top for concussion. Right, she was hit on the head after she tried to save her mother’s ring from the robber.

Could not even see that rat’s face.

She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. That was so unlike her– calling somone names. But at the same time, it was, for the first time in months that she felt any other intense emotion than grief or resentment. There was a numbness that had gripped her, paralysed her, closed her heart to feeling anything– life went by just as it was, and she felt on autopilot.

But the moment her mother’s ring was snatched, it was like a bucket of ice was thrown at her, breaking her out of the numbness, the void.

She had a purpose— she wanted to go on, and she was willing to go on and live because her mother would have wanted the same. Her mother who loved her, adored her so much and left so many unanswered questions behind. Questions she probably would never get answers to.

But now, the ring was gone and she was looking up to a white hospital ceiling, the room smelt fresh but with a hint of that same old ‘medical’ smell and assessing the private room she was in— it was going to burn a hole in her pocket.

“How are you feeling now?” 

Oh, there was a nurse in there too, adjusting her IV. Her vision was a bit floaty. She blinked and cleared her parched throat.

“I’m… I’m feeling–weird?”

She smiled at (Y/N)’s slow, blinking eyes.

“Concussion, honey. You’re lucky the kind man found you and brought you here. Oh, yes, your things are kept by the bed, check them out and report if something’s missing, hm?” With that, she pressed the button to bend up the upper half of the bed, making her able to sit up slightly.

“Th–thank you… the man’s around? I can thank him.” (Y/N)’s voice was scratchy and her speech came with a bit of effort, but at least the pain was reduced to a dull throbbing. 

“I’m afraid he’s gone. He was there in your room an hour ago. Went away after alerting us that you’re waking up.”

(Y/N) frowned. So, she was not dreaming. She sighed and leaned back, the pillow was big and soft. Slowly, she turned her head to the side, trying to focus on the table by her bed.

She blinked as the gleaming object caught her eyes. The sunlight fell just at the right angle as if presenting it to her, ushering her to pick it up.

Her mother’s ring!

It was her mother’s ring placed on the table. Her movements felt a bit disoriented and slow but she managed to reach out to it and pick it up.

“Oh, mother…Thank you— Thank you to whoever returned this.” She whispered, kissing the ring as tears escaped her eyes.

“Everything good?” The concerned nurse asked.

(Y/N) looked up and nodded her head. If she spoke, she would cry. Assessing her quickly one last time, the nurse left after informing her that the doctor would come to check on her after lunch. 

Well, that would be added to the fat bill, won’t it?

But for now, she realised she was starving, and some overpriced food was all she could have for now, so, she would settle with that. The doctor came after lunch, and she asked about the billing process and insurance.

Only to find that all her bills were paid— she would be discharged the next day– a bit of a stretch– but her vision was still floaty and moving too fast was a task. 

The kind stranger also paid the bills? Food and medicines covered? 

What was he, an angel?

Or was she dreaming? 

When she tried to get to the name, there was surprisingly nothing. Nothing in the sense that the doctor refused to disclose.

Strange.

So, things had magically turned out to be…good?

It was unbelievable but she had her mother’s ring on her finger, the bills were paid and… and she had a private room. With a TV.

All that was left was to inform her superiors regarding her situation. And maybe her family?

She contemplated the latter. She had not spoken to him for more than five minutes on the phone. The texts were–one-worded and with the stubbornness rooted in their family, she knew that it would take time for either of them to thaw.

She sighed and reached for the TV remote. Maybe she would think through things with a clearer head. She adjusted her vision, trying to focus on the TV screen that seemed to annoyingly blur. She shouldn’t be watching TV, but she was stubborn and certified stupid so…

Flicking through the channels mindlessly, she stopped right at an address. A park near her home—wait, it was the same park she was at when she was robbed! It was the park she would go to often to watch the sunrise.

She squinted her eyes, trying to focus on the headlines. There was a dull throbbing in her head intensified, but she could barely pay attention to that. Was she reading right? The face was the same, the one who robbed her.

He was…hospitalised?

For broken ribs, teeth and well some other broken bones.

Apparently, he had mugged many before, but the police could never catch him— or maybe they never bothered. 

 Why would they, it wasn’t a murder yet.

She rolled her eyes at the thought.

But now, he was at a hospital, and once discharged, he would be shoved behind bars. It was only a brief headline before the news ultimately turned to politics. She switched the electronic off and leaned down, trying to relax, and not think too much.

But all she could think of was the chain of events. It now felt surreal almost. She thought she was almost dead, but there she was, safe, comfortable— the most comfortable she could be with a concussion and in a hospital, and the robber had targeted the wrong person this time.

And who was that kind man who brought her to the hospital? Completed formalities, paid the bills in advance, made sure she wouldn’t have to touch a penny from her pocket and just chose to remain anonymous— to a stubborn level? She did not understand.

New York seemed to be too much to handle. 

She felt like she did not belong there. Not like she wanted to find a home in the city, no, but it was like the city itself was giving her a cold, indifferent stare. The towering buildings were not intimidating, but the sense that she was in a completely new and somehow dangerous territory was bothering her. It was disturbing even. 

She felt like an outsider. Not exactly like a ‘small-town-girl’ outsider. It felt like worlds apart. 

Just as she felt in the Continental.

 Everything about the hotel seemed good, posh, just not normal. No matter how much it tried to imitate the ‘normal’, she did not feel a sense of comfort or even a sense of normalcy. There was something off about the hotel. The city did not feel as ‘off’, but the thought would be constantly there at the back of her mind.

(Y/N) rubbed her fingers on her forehead, touching the bandages in the process. Maybe she was thinking too much. Maybe her ‘fresh’ start in New York had begun on the wrong foot. 

Maybe—

Her phone rang.

Oh right, she had texted her senior regarding her accident. Picking up the device, she pressed the button to answer the call.

Here it goes— questions and answers, and more questions.

She sighed mentally while schooling her voice to sound as pleasant as she could at the moment.

—------

The next morning, it was Alex who called her. Even through the phone, she could feel his concern. She had not shown up in the bus they would usually take to commute back home, and of course, Alex noticed. 

“I will be there.”

“No, Alex, there’s no need, I’m okay. I will be discharged this afternoon. You can’t make it then anyway.”

“Why, which hospital is it? I'm coming.”

“Alex, you have a job to do.”

“I will manage (Y/N), just tell me the name and address.”

“Ale–”

“(Y/N), what are friends for if they cannot even be by your side when you need it?”

She sighed and shook her head before giving him the name and address of the hospital.

 There was a short silence.

“Oh.”

She frowned at the unexpected response.

“Alex? You good? It's okay if you can’t—”

“I’ll be there.” He asserted.

“O–okay. Sure, I will be waiting.”

****

Here comes another chapter. I'm sorry if the description of her concussion was incorrect, I'm no expert. Please feel free to correct me.

[khajiit-reads]

Monthly Check-in Tarot (and Oracle) Spread

(Questions are re-typed under the cut for ease of access.)

You can do as many weeks as you feel like - I put three on this just for ease of size, but I typically actually do four to cover the whole month when I do this spread on the first of the month.

I also like to use oracle cards for some of these, but that's optional. Oracle cards are denoted with [O].

As with all my spreads, feel free to edit them to your liking, but if you re-post them or post your edits, please link back to this blog. Thank you! Happy reading!

01 : My current self. 02 : What is the theme for this month? [O] 03 : A key goal to pursue? 04: An obstacle to overcome? 05 : A major accomplishment? 06 : What to avoid overall? 07 : What to embrace overall? 08 : General advice and encouragement? 09 : Who will I be at the end of the month?

10 : Week one [O] 11 : Week one blessing 12 : Week one challenge

13 : Week two [O] 14 : Week two blessing 15 : Week two challenge

16 : Week three [O] 17 : Week three blessing 18 : Week three challenge

[foxy-eva]

Prom Night

Summary: After everyone shared their sad (or non-existent) prom stories, Penelope decided to host a BAU Prom Night, giving Spencer the perfect excuse to finally ask out Reader

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Category: Fluff, Smut

Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) a bit of miscommunication, jealous Spencer, heavy kissing, fingering, handjob, protected penetrative sex

Author’s Note: This is my entry for @imagining-in-the-margins Office Party Challenge!

Word count: 2.8k

Masterlist

“And that’s how I ended up with a broken heart on prom night,” JJ concluded her story after a couple of other BAU members had shared their prom experiences in their lunch break. 

“Aww, that’s so sad!” Penelope cooed. 

“I didn’t even go to prom,” Spencer chimed in. “I mean, I was twelve, but still…”

Derek looked at you and asked, “What about you, pretty girl? Did anything exciting happen on your prom night?”

You took a moment to think about it and shook your head, “Don’t even get me started.” 

“You know what!” Penelope suddenly exclaimed. “We should throw our very own prom night! This way we can make up for all those miserable experiences.”

“That sounds fun,” JJ agreed. “I would love to take Will to prom.” 

“Yes, that’s perfect. Everyone has to bring a date!” Penelope locked eyes with Spencer and made herself very clear, “No exceptions. Not even for you, doctor.” 

Spencer cleared his voice as a slight rosy shade spread over his cheeks. It made you smile to see him like this and you wondered if he already had someone to ask to go to prom with him. His eyes met yours for a moment and your heart immediately skipped a beat. 

To everyone’s surprise Hotch agreed to have a BAU Prom Night and made sure that you could use one of the function rooms at Quantico. Over the next few days you helped Penelope figure out the details until the date of your big night was set. 

Everything was going as planned except for one detail - you still didn’t have a date. You were sure that you were the only one at this point, even Spencer seemed to have found someone. At least that was what you assumed after you kept catching him and Derek mumbling about something (or someone) and stopping once you got close enough to eavesdrop. 

Three days before the festivities began, you and Penelope were waiting for fresh coffee in the kitchen while talking about the perfect color arrangement for decorations. Spencer approached and noticed that the coffee wasn’t ready yet, so he joined into the conversation by sharing some facts about color theory. 

“Hey, Y/N,” you turned your head to spot Anderson approaching. “I heard you don’t have a date for prom night yet.” 

“You don’t?” Spencer exclaimed. “I thought you had a boyfriend.” 

You flashed him a confused look and muttered, “What? No.”

“But you mentioned this guy a few weeks ago. I overheard you talking about a date with him,” Spencer stammered. 

“I never heard from him again,” you clarified and turned to Anderson. “And no, I don’t have a prom date yet.” 

The man you had never paid any attention to before smiled at you and said, “Well, now you do!” 

Spencer looked shocked at Anderson’s words and stormed out of the room without saying anything. You had never seen him acting this way and watched as he disappeared in the empty conference room. You flashed Anderson an apologetic look before following Spencer to talk to him. 

You found him sitting at the table, pretending to look through a file when you sat down beside him. “Spencer, what’s going on?” 

“I thought you already had a date,” he mumbled without looking at you. “And now you’re going with Anderson.”

Slowly you got a hunch what all of this was about. It made your heart flutter to realize that he wanted to ask you out. 

“I haven’t agreed to go with him, yet,” you told him. 

He finally locked eyes with you and asked, “Do you want to go with him?” 

“I don’t want to go alone. But the guy I actually want to go with hasn’t asked me yet.” 

Spencer didn’t respond, instead his eyes found the file on the desk again. You couldn’t believe how oblivious he was and realized that you had to spell it out for him. “Spencer, I’m talking about you.” 

“Wh..What?” It took a few seconds until he realized the meaning of your words. “Oh.” 

“Are you gonna ask me out now or what?” You giggled. 

“Yes! Yes. Uhm,” he cleared his voice and took a deep breath. “Do you want to go to prom with me?”

You smiled at him and nodded. “I would love to.” 

A wide grin appeared on his face and you noticed a sparkle in his eyes you had never seen before. Spencer seemed genuinely happy. 

“Should I uhm… pick you up at your place?” Spencer wondered. 

“No, I’ll get ready here because I have to help with decorations. But you could pick me up right here and we’ll walk down to the function room together?” 

“That sounds lovely.” 

After you turned down Anderson’s invitation, you and the rest of the team had to get back to your job for the next few days. It was hard to focus on work as your mind kept drifting off to the fact that Spencer had finally asked you out. Anytime that thought crossed your mind, you felt your cheeks heating up and your heart began beating erratically inside your chest. 

For the first time since you started working at the BAU, Spencer didn't look right away whenever your eyes met his. His glances lingered on you and it made you feel like you were the only person in the room with him.

When the big night finally arrived, you spent most of the day preparing the function room for the evening. About thirty minutes before everyone else would arrive, you hastily disappeared in the restroom to change into your dress, fix your hair and put on some make-up. 

Spencer arrived at the conference room just a few minutes after you. He wore suits most days but you had never seen him wearing anything that fancy. He looked incredibly handsome in his black suit, white dress shirt and bow tie. 

Before you had a chance to tell him how gorgeous he looked, he stammered, “Wow… you look stunning.” 

Your fingertips brushed over the soft fabric of your dress as if to straighten out wrinkles that weren’t there. A wide smile spread over your face at the compliment. It was no coincidence that you picked a purple dress, aware that it was Spencer’s favorite color. 

“Thank you. You look very handsome, too.”

A rosy shade spread over Spencer’s cheeks while his lips curled into a coy smile. The two of you stood there in silence for a few moments until he seemed to remember the item he held in his hands. 

“Here, I got you something,” he said as he let you take a look. 

It was a small corsage with white and lavender-colored blossoms. It matched your dress perfectly. You reached out your hand, implicitly telling him to put it over your wrist. 

His fingertips gently brushed over the back of your hand as he placed the corsage on your arm. His touch was innocent but ignited sparks inside your chest nonetheless. He must have felt it too because when his eyes found yours you noticed that warm glimmer in them again. 

As the two of you entered the function room the party had already started. The dance floor was filled with your coworkers, moving in ways you had never seen before. The colors of the balloons matched the rest of the decor and you were more than happy that everything had worked out so wonderfully.

“So, what do you think about your very first prom, boy wonder?” Penelope giggled as she approached the both of you. 

“It’s perfect,” was all he had to say.

Penelope grabbed you both at your arms to pull you onto the dance floor. Spencer protested at first but gave in once you took his hand in yours. You joined the others in their silly little dances and to your surprise, Spencer did too. That was until a slow song came on. 

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, he turned to you and placed his hands on your waist. You let yours rest on his shoulders and began swaying from side to side. 

“Sorry, I have no idea what I’m doing,” he chuckled as he looked down at his feet. 

“You’re doing great, Spencer,” you sincerely responded as you moved a little closer towards him until there barely was any distance left between your bodies. 

“Is this better than your actual prom night?” He wanted to know. “You never actually told us about it.” 

You couldn't stop your hands from moving to the nape of his neck, gently playing with a few loose curls as you purred, “It’s so much better.”

Just when you thought that he was about to lean down to kiss you, you noticed the high-pitched laughter of your female coworkers. 

“Aah, look! They are exactly like those teenagers in every high school romcom!” JJ chirped as she pulled out her phone to snap a picture of the two of you. 

You turned your head to find her face in the crowd, prompting Penelope to chime in, “No, don’t stop, my two lovebirds! Go on, kiss!” 

You felt your cheeks heating up at the realization that you had an audience in this intimate moment.

“Do you wanna try out the photo booth?” Spencer suggested to get away from the curious glances of your work family. 

“That sounds fun!”

And it was fun. You spent a while posing like those typical prom couples before taking a bunch of silly pictures with the props Penelope had bought. 

“Okay, I think we’re done,” you laughed once your cheeks started hurting from smiling so much. 

Spencer shook his head and pressed the button once more. “One last set!” 

Just when the countdown of the camera reached the number zero, you felt Spencer’s lips on your cheek. Your head was spinning after everything that had happened tonight. It seemed like finally being close to the man you had pined after for months gave you the courage to show some initiative. 

You turned your head to find his mouth, capturing it in a soft kiss with no intention to stop even after the last photo was taken. Kissing him then was chaste and sweet and so, so perfect. 

“Busted!” You heard Derek’s voice as he approached the photo booth with his date. “You two should get a room.” 

Almost in unison the both of you responded, “Shut up, Morgan.”

The next few hours flew by quicker than either of you would have liked. Spencer must have noticed how exhausted you were, so he offered, “It’s getting pretty late. I can drive you home if you want?”

Even though you didn't want this night to end, you knew that it was probably for the best. “Yeah, I would like that.”

Spencer nodded and took your hand as he led you out of the room. The way to his car seemed endless and the need to be close to each other was all-consuming. There was no way you could make it without giving into your desperation.

The elevator seemed like the perfect place for your second kiss. Spencer pushed you against one of the walls, his hands cupping your face as he leaned down to find your lips. This time it was far from innocent, the way he instantly deepened the kiss let you know that he must have fantasized about this moment for just as long as you had. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed against your lips. “I’ll never get enough of you.” 

What followed felt like a haze, between longing glances, sweet kisses and bright laughter you somehow made it to your doorstep. Spencer leaned down to find your lips once more before he said, “I would really like to take you out to dinner sometime.”

You kissed him again and mumbled against his lips, “I would like that, too.”

His smile was soft when he purred, “Goodnight. I had a great time tonight.” 

Right when you wanted to respond, you remembered something. Your facial expression must have given it away, because Spencer furrowed his eyebrows and asked, “What’s wrong?” 

Without really thinking about it, you told him, “I can’t get out of this dress alone.”

His saccharine smile morphed into a playful smirk. “Is that so?”

“I know that sounds like the lamest excuse to… you know,” you giggled. “But it's true. Penelope had to help me put it on earlier. There’s no way I’ll be able to get it off on my own.” 

Instead of teasing you some more, Spencer simply followed you inside your apartment. You lost the ability to form any coherent thought once you turned around and Spencer touched your back to undo the zipper. He opened it all the way down to the small of your back. The way his knuckles brushed over your exposed skin was intoxicating.

Once the dress dropped to the floor, you turned around again. Spencer let his sight wander over body for a split second before he found your eyes. You noticed how his fingers twitched and he licked over his lips. 

“If you don’t tell me to leave right now I won’t be able to hold back anymore.”

You stepped closer to him and whispered, “Stay.” 

That was all he needed to hear. His hands were on you in an instant, exploring the curves and dips of your body while your bodies melted into one another in a passionate kiss. With joined forces you helped each other shed each piece of clothing as you stumbled into your bedroom. Spencer pushed you onto the mattress and you welcomed him on top of you. 

He began trailing kisses down your neck before biting down on your pulse point. Your whole body felt like it was floating on a cloud as you felt his lips wandering over your skin. 

“Would you have let him take your dress off, too?” He mumbled against your neck.

It took you a moment to realize that he was talking about Anderson. “No,” you sighed. “I’m yours, Spencer.”

He moaned in response to your words and found your lips once more. One of his hands wandered down your body, greedily grabbing at your skin until it found its destination between your legs. The moment he noticed that you were already dripping with desire for him, he groaned, “You’re mine.”

Your whole body felt like it was on fire when he began dragging his fingertips through your slick folds. When he focussed on your little bud, you couldn't help but start to grind your core against his hand. Your own hands became curious and wandered from his shoulders down his body until your fingers could wrap around his hardness. 

The sounds of his pleasure spurred you further on as you moved your hand up and down, letting your thumb glide over his weeping tip. He felt hot and heavy inside your palm and you got impatient to find out how good he’d feel inside of you. 

Spencer's eyes followed your hand when it let go of him to grab a condom from the nightstand instead. He was quick to put it on before kneeling between your legs. The way he took a moment to let his eyes graze over your body almost felt more intimate than anything you had done until then. 

When he leaned over you he reached between your bodies to guide his cock to your opening. Your body welcomed him without any resistance and you relished the sensation of him filling you out perfectly. 

“Fuck!” He groaned as you clenched around him. “I have wanted to do this for so long.” 

With your arms and legs wrapped around his body you brought him impossibly close. 

“Take me,” you demanded before kissing him again.

He began pushing into you, slowly at first but with an accelerated pace once he seemed sure that you could take it. The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure and your bodies colliding over and over again. 

When he felt you getting tighter around him, he propped himself up on one arm and  reached down between your bodies with his other hand. When he found your most sensitive spot, he instantly began drawing tight circles around it. 

“Are you gonna come for me?” He sighed as if it hadn’t been obvious. 

You were already too far gone to answer him, your climax taking the both of you by surprise. When he felt your walls pulsing around his hardness he praised you, “Good girl.” 

Just a few moments later he fell over the edge himself, throbbing inside you before collapsing into your arms. He began mumbling sweet nothings into your ear while your fingertips danced over his back. 

After cleaning up, you found your home in each other's arms. 

“I’m really glad I got to experience my first prom with you,” Spencer cooed before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. “I can’t believe you almost went with Anderson though.”

“I can't believe you almost didn’t ask me out,” You snickered in response.

“Fair point.”

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[batsplat]

i have (shamelessly) stalked your account and you are so so so interesting…especially your posts about casey/vale have been an absolute DELIGHT to read!!!😩🩷 thank u!!,,,

🥺🥺 this is so nice, i support shameless stalking... i haven't really felt the posting bug recently... prob because i've mainly been in casey/valentino land and interest for them is. so low. that it kinda feels like writing longer posts about them on here is functionally equivalent to just keeping it in my notes. so it really is appreciated to read stuff like this!! happy to spread the gospel...

in the tradition of sharing something i haven't before when getting a nice ask. here, i really like this excerpt from a race write up for catalunya 2007 (x)

Previously, whenever anyone mentioned weakness, they cast a furtive glance at Casey Stoner, as the Australian was expected to wither under the intense pressure from Valentino Rossi, as so many had before him. But the race at Barcelona put a very permanent end to any such talk, as Stoner withstood everything The Doctor could throw at him, and paid him back in kind. What's more, Stoner's advantage could no longer be laid firmly at the door of his Ducati, as both the Yamaha and Honda have so clearly closed the gap, though suspicion remains that the Ducati may have been reigned in a little, to conserve fuel and make the bike a fraction more ridable. The Ducati is still the fastest bike on the grid, but the difference is no longer measured in tens of kilometers an hour. [..] As for Valentino Rossi, things seem perfectly clear: The Yamaha is lacking just a little bit of top end power, but is almost certainly the best handling motorcycle in the world. As for Rossi, he has never ridden better, putting on imperial displays of riding skill to compensate for the horses lacking from his M1. But the machinery is closer and the competition is tougher than ever before, with two of the best riders ever to come out of the 250 class just beginning to reach the peak of their abilities in MotoGP. Rossi has never had it so tough, and frankly, he seems to be relishing it.

obviously with some of this stuff it's like. they had to put a pin in it until 2008, because the yamaha really was just too underpowered to compete throughout the season. casey's title is ofc extremely deserved, but its margin was maybe a Bit Much. this is the fast vs rideable trade-off, right - ducati just built a bike with ridiculous amounts of engine power that wasn't really feasible to ride for anyone who wasn't casey, but it WAS a very fast bike. which,, i think you can be ultra cynical about this if you wish but substantively that was valentino's primary complaint in 2007: the casey challenge is one thing but feeling like you're not really able to even fight it out is the real issue. i personally think casey makes a bit of a category mistake, where he groups 'valentino cooling off towards him' and 'valentino being miffed by the yamaha's lack of horsepower' together with the label 'valentino hates that someone has shown up who can beat him'. and i think they're kinda two different things like,, the first is 'valentino is establishing a bit of healthy distance from a title rival' and the second is 'valentino is frustrated he can't fight casey properly on a consistent basis'. even when you're evaluating stuff like valentino's mind games, it's less that this HAS to show he couldn't deal with casey coming along and beating him, it's more that this is just... part of his game. like it is also just competitive strategy. maybe he's not mad that casey's shown up and is beating him, maybe it's just that he's got a specific method for dealing with a new challenge that involves chucking a lot of shit at it and seeing what sticks

the thing about the casey/valentino rivalry is that ultimately, this is a rivalry that valentino Likes. he liked it even when they were actually competing - the proper sour note gets introduced when they stop meaningfully being on-track rivals. he likes having a challenge, he likes exciting on-track battles, he likes having a rival he can focus his energies on. also, ultimately this is quite a flattering rivalry to valentino. casey is extremely obviously extremely talented, he's young, he's the next big thing - competing with him and even managing to beat him is excellent to have on the resume. (compare and contrast how valentino felt about the sete challenge.) you can also see this from how much valentino builds casey up - god, devil, demon etc - because the better casey is, the better it looks and feels for valentino to beat him. obviously, this only really comes off if valentino can beat casey, which he was relatively confident he'd at least have a shot at if he had the machinery to do so. if he were just trying to make excuses, he wouldn't have switched to casey's tyre - a move a lot of people were very critical of at the start of 2008 but was categorically the right decision. he would not have won the 2008 title if he hadn't rolled the dice and switched to bridgestone

and catalunya 2007 is really properly when those narratives get Established. because it's a track that is friendly to yamaha/michelin, because it's a track where it felt like the two of them were essentially competing as Equals. idk i love that the early 2007 paddock talk was that casey would inevitably Whither under valentino's pressure - both because of valentino's reputation and because of casey's. the consensus on casey was that he's a very fast crasher, who clearly has a lot of talent but is tempestuous and prone to losing his head. he chucks the bike down the road from the lead at his home race to lose the 2005 title, he takes pole on his second ever race in motogp but also spends a lot of that season crashing and crashing and crashing some more. he's seen as fragile - and valentino is known for not just beating rivals but essentially breaking them. i think the sweet spot for casey and valentino as rivals is how well their individual narratives complement each other where it really feels like this was THE perfect combination of guys you could have go against each other. now, admittedly a lot of the times it does give you the vibe of valentino being just like. a nightmare opponent for casey specifically,, but it does ALSO give casey the chance to test and prove himself and Grow As A Person. the list of riders who have beaten valentino in a last lap duel for the win in the premier class is like. very short. it basically goes alex barros, sete (twice!), toni elias, and casey. AND this is catalunya, one of valentino's favourite tracks on the calendar (arguably his best) where he has fought all of his big premier class rivals and generally gets the better of them. so it matters that this is where casey beats him! if anything the win has aged even better after valentino beat jorge (in 2009) and marc (2016) at that circuit in duels too

idk,, just very much appreciate the descriptions... 'whenever anyone mentioned weakness, they case a furtive glance at casey stoner' 'stoner withstood everything the doctor could throw at him, and PAID HIM BACK IN KIND' 'rossi has never had it so tough, and frankly, he seems to be relishing it'... the rivalry has such a fun push and pull dynamic 2 me like it really is about driving each other to new heights. valentino is never better than when he's fighting casey and he knows it. and casey constantly gets dragged along his character arc as a result of valentino's presence and he's caught between rising to the challenge and being resentful of it. (remember: he repeatedly talks down catalunya 2007 because he dislikes this being his calling card performance - he's contrarian enough to reject the idea he had to prove himself through a close fight with valentino and doesn't reallyyy want to get credit for this performance because he doesn't think he gets enough praise for his ten second wins. little freak but i get him.) he says i bring out the best in him, but i think he's brought out the worst in me, right. but in a way both of them make each other better and make each other worse... raise each other to new heights and drag each other down. bless

anyway here's a couple of my fave catalunya 2007 photos

he's so close... shadowing him so precisely... dani never gets close enough to get involved in fighting in this contest but valentino really is almost right on his rear wheel. and casey doesn't let himself be cowed...

such a lovely photo,, actual good quality,, still the only proper red/blue rivalry we've gotten in this sport this century... valentino's moon on his helmet and the sun on his leg and the italian flag on casey's leathers and the little alice eyes peering back at you... 2007 also just the nicest year to look at, like it's all very Clean and pleasing on the eye

delicate hand holding... that circuit has seen So Much from valentino. (including another underrated fight from these two the following year) and here he is not on the top step for a change...

i just think. them

and so on

[solarwynd]

I don’t take JJK’s seriously when they bring up city charts because there are 109,000 cities in the United States alone. I live in a small city in California & I have many accounts streaming for Jimin. Like no my city is not gonna be on that chart. Jimin fans are just spread out. They need to worry about reentering Jungkook to the US Spotify chart which they have been trying to do fo a long time. His latest release didn’t even enter. If I can accept the fact that Jungkook is bigger in India & SEA then they can accept the fact that Jimin is just bigger in the USA, Latam countries, SK & the UK.

You know and with me actually looking at the city specific Spotify chart for the first time (cause I never paid any real attention to it) jjks look even more fucking stupid.

All the cities on there are major ones or capitals. And there’s only 34 in total. There is no conceivable way that Jimin stans would be so perfectly confined to any or all of those cities and in great number enough that any of Jimin’s songs would chart on those specific charts.

But again we are in great number enough around the country to come together and have enough streams for him to chart as high as he consistently has on the main chart. If Spotify valued or weighed the city charts over the main ones then they wouldn’t have made the city chart a sub category. The main chart is obviously the most important one.

Like making a spectacle out of something so simple to grasp is blowing me. But they’ll never accept Jimin’s huge presence in any of those markets cause that would mean that Jimin’s bigger than that man is. And they’d sooner k!ll themselves than admit that.

[mysticalserenity-tarot]

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[pakhnokh]

I was unable to comment on your posts on patreon, but saw your question in the reading commentary:

Ok so which one is it!? I feel confused because I know ExR makes the difference between Gui and Mo. I went to the official 7seas translation and in both cases they write "demonic"! (Vol.4 Page 83) which is unbelievable cause Wei Wuxian would never say that his path is the Mo Dao. I really wonder what the original text says.

I'd like to explain this! I think this is a translation inconsistency. In the original CN, Gui is a subset of Mo. Everyone including WWX refers only to Mo Dao in terms of the cultivation path. It's the Dark Path in contrast to the mainstream, "righteous" Bright Path.

There's four types of evil beings in MDZS:

妖 yao: made from living non-human beings. The living Goddess Statue, Tortoise Xuanwu, both count in this category

魔 mo: made from living humans (living puppets). There aren't any examples I can think of in MDZS (Song Lan wasn't puppeted until after he's dead, right?) but, this is the word most commonly translated as "demon".

鬼 gui: made from dead humans. This is the classic WWX stuff like Wen corpse army etc. Translated as "ghost" usually

怪 guai: made from dead non-humans. I also don't think there's any examples in MDZS.

But importantly, WWX listed all these in Cloud Recesses under the same cultivation path, 魔道 Mo Dao. All are subcategories of Mo Dao. So he is indeed cultivating Mo Dao knowingly. It's up to interpretation, but personally I think that makes his moral character very interesting OvO

Ok thank you so much! With your permission I'll give an introduction to those who don't know what this is all about.

I'm reading Mo Dao Zu Shi again and making a commentary on my Patreon page. (It is public by the way, so everybody can see it)

The quoted part in this ask refers to my question regarding the things Wei Wuxian says to Lan Wangji when the latter visits him on Burial Mounds and they part:

A moment later, Wei WuXian spoke up, “Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?”

He continued, “Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain?

“Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.”

He continued, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.”

(This is ExR translation version. The official 7seas uses "demonic" in both cases. Reading the ExR translation, the difference between demonic and ghostly path has been made by the translators in other parts of the text. For example, Wei Wuxuan saying that he never practiced the demonic path, or Lan Wangji telling Wei Wuxian that the ghostly path harms body and soul etc. So I was confused - why would Wei Wuxian himself call the methods he used as demonic? I was sure that this is a fault in the translation or maybe me not understanding something in Chinese culture)

So back to the things you wrote, fist of all thank you so much for finding the time to answer me! I really wonder why you couldn't comment on Patreon itself? Public posts are available to comments both for paid and free members.

Now, if I understand correctly what you say, "Mo Dao" is a large umbrella term containing all types of "dark" cultivation that are not the "righteous" canon cultivation method practiced by all sects? Meaning that both what Wei Wuxian does (Gui Dao) and what Xue Yang did (Mo Dao) can be considered "Mo Dao"?

Then, in this case, how does using this term works for Wei Wuxian's benefit if he wants to stress out that he uses the ghost path and not the demon path (meaning that he specifically uses dead corpses and not living humans?) isn't it also justifies the false rumors spread about him as being the "mo dao zu shi?" I remember reading in other explanations that the whole thing of him being called this way was the misunderstanding and the spread of false info about what Wei Wuxian actually practiced.

So now I'm even more confused hahahaha if you have a further explanation I'd be so grateful!! <33

I'd really just prefer if all the translation left the terms in pinyin. (yao, mo, gui and guai) so that this confusion wouldn't exist :(

Btw, I think that what Xue Yang did to the townspeople in Yi City was considered mo dao, right? He sprinkled the corpse poisoning powder on them making them into living corpses for Xiao Xingchen to kill.

"guai: made from dead non-humans. I also don't think there's any examples in MDZS." - does it only include animals and plants, or objects as well? Does what Wei Wuxian did to the paper puppets in Yi City count in this category?

[infamousbrad]

For a few years now, I've taken multiple opportunities to ask groups of my fellow Americans the same question: "do you think early 21st century America is a good place to raise a child?" Answers varied from person to person, even among parents of children, from "yeah, pretty good" all the way down to "oh hell no." Rather than give my answer, and go into my reasons (for now) let's look at a report card ranking 35 major countries by several criteria, that just rated only Mexico as worse than the USA as a place to raise a family.

Safety: F. Based on homicide rate, average fear of crime, risk of dying to war or terrorism, school shootings per capita, and protection of civil rights for all. We did okay on most of the sub-ratings, but barely mediocre on civil rights and, well, obviously insanely bad compared to everybody else on school shootings.

Happiness: C+. Based on the human freedom index, world happiness index, per-capita suicide rate, household income inequality, and whether or not some families are discriminated against in adoption rights. I couldn't quickly find the sub-ratings on this one, but the USA came out pretty average.

Cost: F. Based on child care costs, per household family support spending, out-of-pocket educational costs, out-of-pocket health spending, and income-adjusted cost of living. The UK and New Zealand were even worse on child-care costs, but the US came in dead last in every other sub-category. We are the only country that expects those costs to be entirely born by parents who currently have minor children instead of spreading them out across all households.

Health: D-. Based on maternal mortality rate, child mortality rate, access to contraception, air pollution level, and average life expectancy. Because we're not in the bottom 5, I again can't easily find the US ranking on each of those sub-ratings, but I imagine we really got hit on our maternal mortality rate.

Education: C+. Based on teen enrollment rate, early-20s enrollment rate, average reading performance, average math performance, and average science performance. We weren't in the top or bottom 5 so, again, I don't know our detailed rankings but we did end up above average. And finally ...

Time: F. Based on time off per worker, weeks of paid maternity leave, weeks of paid paternity leave, weeks of mandatory paid sick leave, weeks of mandatory paid vacation leave. Only Mexico gave its workers fewer hours off work, and we are the only country in the survey to have a zero in all four other categories.

Across all countries: Only 5 of the 35 countries got an A+ overall. Starting with the highest score: Iceland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, and Luxembourg. Only two countries got an F, the US and Mexico. If you choose to have and raise a family in the United States, you will bear a higher percentage of those expenses than almost any country in the world, your children will be in more physical danger and health danger than anywhere in the industrialized world outside of an active war zone, and you will have less time with them, less time to parent them, than parents anywhere else surveyed.

So, you tell me: in your opinion, is the United States of America in the early 21st century a good place to have and raise children, or not?

Not to beg, but I'd really appreciate more eyes on this, please? Especially from my fellow Americans and doubly-so from people who have kids or who have recently raised kids?