#cassirambles

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

I want to be better at celebrating the things I want more of, which means commenting on the fics I love, and showing the lovely commenters who have kept me going as a fic writer for 10+ years now some love <3

So, I want to send some love to people who read and leave comments on WIPs, to people who feel anxious about commenting but still leave a heart behind in the comments, to people who leave comments even though the fic is years old, to the people who take a chance on fics with few kudos/comments and comments on it to let the writer know someone liked their work, to people who quote the fic in their comments, to people who'll comment on several chapters of a finished fic, to the ones who stay up late reading and lets the writer know, to the people who comment that they're back for a re-read, to the key-smashers and the ones who'll write paragraph after paragraph. I want to celebrate the people who treat fanworks as the gift they are, who take the time to say thank you, who gush about fics on tumblr or on discord, who spend their time focusing on the things they like, and who know how to exit a fic when it's not what they wanted. Thank you! 💜 I would not want to be in fandom without you!

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

I ship pairings that I'd hate as canon. And pairings that I don't actually think would work at all, and just be toxic and terrible. But sometimes I want to write things that are toxic and terrible, or I want to explore what could be if the characters were just a bit different. Sure, some of my ships I would love to see in canon but as a general rule I think it's more fun when it's not canon and we get to imagine it ourselves.

i dont know when it happened but somewhere along the way “shipping” got a new meaning for younger folk that seems to translate to “i want these people together for real asap”. i think the media had something to do with it. but guys.

guys.

shipping absolutely Does Not mean demanding anything from people/creators. shipping isn’t about expecting and waiting for the day it will certainly happen. it is not a direct translation to Happen Or Die.

shipping means you like the idea of two (or more) people together. you like the concept. you find it fun to imagine the dynamics. you even create fanon content of it (fic, art, edits). it’s all in your head and it’s Fine that way.

is it nice to have a ship become canon? oh my god, yes. but that’s not what shipping is about and yall need to take a step back and breathe because being a jerk to people aint gonna change their mind about ships.

have a good night.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Having physical and mental illness at the same time is honesty such an experience.

I went to the doctor last week and asked to see a therapist/psychiatrist or just anyone who can help me manage my bipolar better because I'm just so over having several episodes a year. And my doctor is great and she said she did want to refer me, but she also said that I'll likely be rejected since I'm not visibly disabled from it (like I'm in a full time job and haven't asked for sick-leave. Which - I haven't worked a full day since the middle of May. But saving up hours by working way too much when I'm hypomanic and stable + using vacation time is functioning enough apparently)

So then we moved on to the other reason for my visit, which was "my wrist hurts a bit and it makes it a bit uncomfortable to type and drive which I need for work". And within 2 minutes I had a prescription, a blood draw and a referral for an MRI scan.

And it's just fascinating because my depressive episodes hurt so much more than my wrist, and they disable me so much more. And yet it's so much easier to get health care services for my wrist, simply because it's a physical thing.

[nishio-nishikick-my-ass]

//laughing super fucking hard bc I've only eaten once today and I fell asleep at 7 and now I can't go back to sleep. I'm ruining myself and I don't even care.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Patterns Tag

Thank you for tagging me @strugglequill, this looks like it'll be fun!

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

1. A Violent Kind of Spin (Jegulus, E, 212k)

Fighting in a war shouldn’t be the relief that it is, but James can’t help but revel in the reality of it.

2. Always Be This Close (Prongsfoot, E, 11k)

Sirius half stumbles half walks through the door.

3. Strings Attached (Rarry, E, 26k)

Harry groaned and rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses.

4. This Could Be Good (Drarry, E, 6k)

Draco stretches and winces a little at the sound his back makes in response.

5. What I Want (This Year) (Drarry, E, 36k)

Harry sighs as he enters the hospital to the sight of mistletoe and red banners covering the corridors and the same two-minute-long Christmas jingle playing on repeat.

6. Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) (Queerplatonic Drarry, M, 19k)

“Are you coming out tonight, Harry?” Ginny asks when Harry pokes his head into her bathroom to find her curling her hair.

7. Back Where We Began (Drarry, E, 25k)

“Merlin, I can’t believe I’m back here,” Ron groans.

8. Things Unknown but Longed for Still (Drarry, E, 29k)

Harry forced his eyes open and winced at the strong light in his bedroom.

9. We Keep Loving Anyway (Scorbus, E, 7k)

I’m embarrassed to admit how fast the thought came to mind after Scorpius was finally diagnosed.

10. On Stage (Drarry, E, 2k)

Harry walks into the empty club feeling almost electric.

Ok but I'm laughing at how almost all of them start with the character uncomfortable, disgruntled or in pain (and the rest manic or horny). I wasn't expecting there to be that clear of a pattern. I'm actually kind of surprised so few of them are dialogue, and that they're all pretty short.

Tagging @groundzero-v, @forestdeath1, @lovelymasks, @mycupofrum, @orange-peony, @roalinda if you haven't already and would like to <3

Also, if you think tag-games are fun and would like to be tagged in the future please like this post because I get nervous about tagging. (Also if you'd like to not be tagged by me feel free to unlike the post)

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Three days ago I decided I needed to vacuum. Since then I have found 7 bags of clothes to donate, thrown out 5 bags of trash, sewed 11 pieces of clothing into something else or just to make them fit better, bought a bag for my computer to go in because it didn't have a place and then pens and notebooks to keep in the bag because it was too empty, reorganised my entire closet, bought all new hangers and then reorganised my closet again, waxed my legs because I found the wax melter, bought new wax beads and just everything that's not vacuuming.

Today I remembered it all started with me needing to vacuum but I had to dust first or I'd just push all the dust down to the clean floor, but in order to dust I needed to clean out my shelves and in order to clean out my shelves I needed to find where everything belongs and that ended up with me cleaning the bathroom instead. And now I'm too exhausted to dust. And I couldn't vacuum even if I did dust because there's stuff on the floor again.

ppl don’t understand adhd/autistic cleaning processes. we think so far ahead it’s like,,, impossible to do shit. you want me to vaccuum my bedroom floor? okay. we need to pick up all the stuff thats on it first, though. and where are we going to put the stuff? well, theres a couple categories of Stuff- Clothes, Random Items, and Trash. Trash is easy, we just throw it away. Clothes have to be sorted into Clean, Not Clean- and then the not clean ones have to go in the laundry bag, but theres so many so i might have to start a load now- ugh, distracted. lets go back to the clean clothes. well, these go in my drawer but- my drawer is really disorganized, so i’ll have to organize the clothes first so that theyll fit and look neat. by the time i’m done with that, i’ve spent an hour and a half trying to do stuff in my room. i finally turn to random items, most of which can find a home on my desk, but others i dont really know what to do with. plus, my desk is dirty. so i have to organize my desk, figure out where everything goes, and the stuff that doesn’t have a place can go in… a box, i guess. (not like i don’t have three other boxes full of random stuff in my closet)  so i put all the items back up but now i have this box full of stuff i dont know if i need so i have to go through it, sorting it into donate and dont donate piles. i might as well throw in some clothes to, so i dig through my clothes drawer and get the clothes i dont want, throw them in there too. okay, back to the random items- the ones i dont want to donate are still here, so i have to put them somewhere. i dont have anywhere to put them- maybe i should get a shelf? i start googling shelves, figuring out which ones would be best for my room, debating prices, learning about installation, and eventually im like ‘well, already on my computer’ and i decide im going to ‘check’ social media and end up lost in it for an hour or so. you walk back in, and theres stuff all over the floor, albeit in bags and boxes, and it still hasnt been vacuumed. its been five hours since i started. how does it take five hours to clean your room? it just does. 

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

I think I want to start blogging again. Like, more than posting carefully thought out fic recs or reblogging. I used to hit post limit daily on this site with shit-posting and nightblogging and just random train of thought that would pop into my head. And then I started thinking it had to be good or important for me to post. But I mean, this is tumblr. So maybe I should just start shouting into the void here again, because it's just more fun that way.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Tag game

Thank you so much for the tag @emsuemsu. I love these games! <3

Fave colour: Green and purple

Last song: Red Wine Supernova by Chappell Ronan (my new obsession)

Last film: I'm realising I very rarely watch movies because I can't actually remember the last time I saw one, or what it was.

Currently reading: I was on a reading streak and got a few books into the Inheritance Cycle (re-read in preparation for reading Murtagh) but I kinda lost momentum towards the end of the fourth book. I'm also reading, and LOVING The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls by thecouchsofa and I'm excited to pick it back up again when my brain will focus. While my brain buffers I've been reading some shorter stuff (like The most beautiful part of me (is you) by galaxo, which was amazing) and listening to the audiobook of I kissed Shara Wheeler.

Currently watching: I’m re-watching Dr. Who and Torchwood at the moment.

Currently craving: Cough relief

Coffee or tea: Neither, I dislike the taste of both and also can't have caffeine if I want to stay sane.

Three ships: I'm having four because I can't leave one out in the cold. I absolutely adore the whole best friends to lovers thing, so Ronarry and Prongsfoot have my heart. But then I also adore enemies to lovers, forbidden romance and ships that shouldn't work but do and for that Drarry and Jegulus are my beloved.

First ship: Ronarry (I didn't even like Drarry for years, which is so weird to think back on)

Currently working on: Several things for the Prongsfoot bingo and my fic for the Strutting Slut Fest.

I'm tagging @orange-peony, @lovelymasks & @gracelesslady23 if you haven't done it already and thinks it looks fun.

Also to anyone who thinks things like these are fun and wouldn't mind being tagged by me in them, please like this post so I know I won't annoy you when I do (I get anxious).

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

I get anxious about tagging people for ask games and things, but I think they're really fun to do so if you would like to be on my list of "people who'd like to be tagged" please let me know by liking this or commenting 🌻

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

🍓 🔪 🌿 for the ask game, please :)

Thank you so much for asking! <3

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I feel like this is an unnecessarily long reply, sorry 😅 I came into writing fic slowly. I started reading fanfic a year or two after the final HP book was published and I realised it was a thing that existed. I started out reading gen fics that aimed to fill in the blanks of canon. Then I discovered slash fics and it was just so life-changing and refreshing to see queer people written and represented as complex human beings who got to get through the angst to something happy. I was a (closeted) queer teen with mental health issues who was secretly in love with my best friend, and I got to see Harry and Ron struggle with their mental health and anxiety over being in love with their friend post war, and then I got to see them being happy. And for the first time something made me believe maybe I could get there too.

I wrote my first fic in 2012, and it was very much a way to externalise my own issues. It was 24k long and took me 2 years of infrequent updates. I didn't write anything for a couple of years after that, but then I picked it back up again in 2016. At first it was (again) purely me needing an outlet for feelings I didn't know what to do with, but I slowly fell in love with writing and I've been doing it ever since.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh this is a fun question! I tend to research things and then promptly forget I did though, because it's usually for random background information. One of the things I remember I really enjoyed researching was the language of flowers, most recently I remember falling down a rabbit hole of reddit posts on prostate-orgasms.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Not sure that I'm the right person for advice here, because a lot of the time if I'm low on creativity or motivation to write I just - don't. I try to always keep writing fun, so if I don't want to do it I let myself have a break. When I do want to write, but can't quite manage though there are a couple of things I do:

Set a goal to write badly. If I'm not trying to write something good then the pressure is off.

Write my way into writing. An empty document is my biggest enemy so I will literally start off like "Alright, I want to write a story. Maybe it'll be about Harry. Oh! He could be working as a lifeguard in Australia. But how did he get there? Maybe he..."

Write the fun bits first. For me that's usually dialogue, angst or smut. Then I go back and build the story around it

Join a fest (it's motivating to be working with a deadline and fulfilling a prompt. And there's a community aspect to it that I enjoy)

Discuss headcanons and fic ideas with people. I like letting creativity feed creativity.

Get momentum going by writing drabbles or ficlets, or working on something else if I'm stuck on a fic.

Truth or Dare Ask Game

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Today I learned the Tempus spell isn't canon and now I'm questioning everything I know about canon vs fanon

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

I was making dinner today when I felt like someone was looking at me. So, worried some creepy ax-murderer had decided to stalk me, I turned around to face my fate. And there was a cat sitting right outside my window staring intensely at me.

It was an orange cat. I was making lasagna. The universe just made a fucking Garfield reference.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Bob Ross and Marie Kondo are like my mental health fairy godparents.

Bob came and said it was ok to fail. Said there was no such thing as a failiure, just unexpected turns and happy accidents. He said what does it matter if you're good when you're having a good time. It'll all be fine in the end.

Marie walked in and told me it was ok to let go. That memories aren't stitched into my ruined clothes. She told me it's ok to let go, and it's ok that it's hard. This need to clutch tight to everything, good and bad, is understandable because at least that's safe. Safe is what you know. She looked at my scars and said this is something you needed in the past to survive – but it's not something you need today. Today it will only hurt you. So let's say thank you, for keeping you alive, and let's let it go to make room for something that sparks joy.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

🌻🧃🍄! :)

Thank you for asking! 😊

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

Honestly, this applies to most people I appreciate because I have a tendency towards lurking and don't actually talk to very many people in fandom regularly. I'm tagging @pineau-noir for being a wonderful person who I love seeing on my dash and in my notes, and who's helped me out so much with her kind words and helpful notes when beta-reading.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

Not sure if this counts as personal lore, but the first thing I ever learned how to cook was cauliflower soup, My grandmother taught me, and for years I would only eat it when it was cooked in this one very specific casserole. I still make that soup when I miss her.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

My head canons tend to be very fleeting, because it's fun to explore different scenarios. I usually HC that Harry falls for Ron first, though it takes him a long time to realise how he feels. When he does though, it feels inevitable.

Writers Truth or Dare Game

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Me: "Ugh, I'm so sick of being in a bad mood"

Also me: "Yes, I'll have some hurt no comfort, thanks"

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Draco Malfoy + 7 for the character ask game 💚

Thanks for asking!

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I think one of the things I really like is that this fandom is so old and large by now that we do pretty much everything. I love the range and different ways to explore characters. For Draco specifically I love it when he gets a redemption. Like when he really was a shit who believed shit things and then learned and grew. I love the idea of second chances and that people always have the potential to do better if they're willing to try.

Character ask game