#cassidy talks weewoo

[eddiestightywhities]

i think the reason eddie doesn't fully realise that he's in love with buck he's because he's never felt this way about anybody before. he loved shannon—has said so multiple times over the years—but has never once spoken about being in love with her. and the only other (2) romantic relationships he's had in his life, he admitted to just playing a part and trying to do what he believed was the right thing for other people (chris, pepa, his parents etc). therefore his only experience of non-familial love, in his mind, was shannon who, yes, he loved—but being in love? babygirl has never actually experienced this before he and just. he isn't yet understanding that this is what it feels like. this. right here right now, with his best friend; his partner; his person; the man he has made co-parent to his child; his ride-or-die; his everything.

his buck.

[eddiestightywhities]

i think one of the the reasons that buddie is so utterly enticing as a concept of Togetherness is because buck and eddie are actually Two Sides Of The Same Coin.

and i know that, yes*yawn* this might be a bit of a tired metaphor, and possibly so is the one to follow, but stick with me...

because when you look at buck and eddie as individuals—buck being buck (open, giving, all-in) and eddie being eddie (reticent, selfless, tight-knit)—and then widen your view and see them as a whole, as buck&eddie, they're kind of like jigsaw pieces: their sides are very obviously different, sure, yet somehow they manage to fit perfectly together when you place them next to each other, side by side, and a clear picture then starts to form.

both buck and eddie need to feel as though they make a difference, and both desperately need be worthy of those they love; buck as The Fixer and eddie as The Martyr.

they also both inherently desire (as a lot of us do) to love and to be loved, each taking and giving that love in their own individual and diverse ways.

yet together, side by side, those love-languages would compliment each other so beautifully, and so effortlessly, like breathing in and out, if (when) they recognise it and allow all the love they already share to bloom and grow and get all tangled up and entwined, like ivy or climbing roses, until nobody can tell the difference or ever break them apart.

[eddiestightywhities]

this has probably already been said by others but the astonishing weight and eye-opening connotations behind buck replying I AM FREE in reply to tommy's what are you doing saturday, after having just shared his first queer kiss? yeah very much not lost on me

[eddiestightywhities]

S8E04: Eddie, Bedevilled and Bamboozled

[eddiestightywhities]

as somebody who had a fucked-up childhood, as somebody who had absent parents, as somebody who has experienced multiple traumas, as somebody who survived a fire, as somebody who lost someone and is still trying to deal with that loss, as somebody who lost someone and wanted someone to blame, as somebody who grew up in the welfare system, as somebody whose parents fucked up big time, as somebody whose own teenage child pulled away from them, as somebody who has made huge mistakes, as somebody who is fully grown yet still very much figuring themselves out, as somebody queer who only actually fully came out later in life, as somebody with an alive father who craves a father figure in their life, as somebody with daddy issues, as somebody who just wants to have fun with someone lovely, as somebody who dreams of having a partner in life who really truly sees them, as somebody who knows there are so many others out there just like them, as somebody who feels and feels and feels and feels—oh man 9-1-1 s7e10 all fall down sure was An Episode.