#cask of amontillado shitposting

[serendipitousoracle]

To Cask Or Not To Cask, That Is What I Ask

Context over here~

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from the qinghe nie's legacy of self-destruction

[catboypalug]

"Say the line, caskjak" "I'm BRICKED up!"

[b1rdcatchers]

fortunato: is anyone else bricked up rn or is it just me

[pen-inks]

*Montressor sets up the camera*

Montessor: Hey guys! Welcome back to my channel, today we are in the catacombs that haven’t been touched for 50 YEARS!

*vine boom plays*

*Like and Subscribe before I take your Amontillado in 3…2…1. Did you like and subscribe?*

Montessor: So, today, I’ve got this really cute, really small and aesthetic little… uhm… little hammer here… uhm… yeah I got it from a thrift store *giggles* We are doing a little unboxing todayyyyy… so, yeah! Let’s get right into it!

*Hacks at the wall*

(I am so tired.)

[adventuresinposting]

[college-knockout]

three keys on a hook: one to the heart, one to the house, and one to the cellar. the cellar where i keep my amontillado

[tehloserprince]

Sorry, I hacked Neil and got the true ending to S3.

Aziraphale and Crowley have settled in a lovely South Downs cottage with their wives, Dottie and Sadie. Strangely enough, we never see Aziraphale and Sadie at the same time, nor do we ever see Crowley and Dottie at the same time. After telling fans to "wait and see," Neil never addresses this, focusing instead on the surprise offspring of the late Morris the Edumucated Pig, Morris Junior, who is sadly not quite as edumucated as his father was.

We see some new faces, too: new neighbors on the block, Jim and Bee. They're an odd couple, looking much like Don Draper married someone from a Cure cover band, and things are a little awkward at first. Dottie and Sadie persevere, arranging a lovely garden party complete with a thrilling croquet match to ensure that everyone becomes fast friends. Morris Junior becomes upset when turnips are served as a side dish; hilarity ensues.

Bee, in fact, seems to take a real liking to Crowley, inviting him to their basement to sample a cask of something-or-other. Nobody has seen them in a while, but everyone's pleased they're getting along so well and considers the garden party a great success.

Ciao, Neil!!

People are spreading some snippets of the script for season 3 of good omens all over the internet, we're scared, please tell us, is it a fake?

Sighs.

Googles.

Notices that the "script leak" ends in /j.

Breathe, people. Think and breathe.

[littlebitoftrolling]

Call me Montressor the way I’ll put the plug in the wall over a virtual 492 liters of drank

[kyliafanfiction]

The Truth is Down There

Through that door, into my basement. Right there with some really excellent wine.

[conkreetmonkey]

Uh, dude? We've been walking for a while now, where the hell is the Amontillado? You said you had some. Like, I doubted you, but you insisted we come down here and I'm really starting to feel like you were just hey man what are you doing with those shackles? Bro? What are you doi

[kinsey3furry300]

So one of my flatemates saw the post and I came home to fucking this...

IM FUCKING CRYING!

NGL, my clown-coded arse would follow someone into a sketchy basement if they said they had posh Sherry.

[kazzbot]

ahh weary travelers. come in, come in, come out of the cold. ah... it seems you have come from the kingdom of ruin, fled from the pall of the fell king Musk. lay down your burden, and share a text post with me.

 ah, or perhaps you are a connoisseur of the old ways? i think i still have some shitposts laying around here, come with me to the cellar. mind the pile of bricks, my fine vintage shitposts should be just through there......

[devious-little-milkmaiden]

[Gordon Ramsay wants to know where the chef got their atrocious wine from] Good fucking lord this tastes like mildew.

[The chef leads Gordon into a dark vault only lit by candlelight.] Here chef.

[Gordon Ramsay is led into a crypt filled with casks and invited to look around.] Why are we exploring the depths of the ocean when we’ve got this fucking ecosystem? Fucking hell.

[The chef begins setting bricks around the cask, shutting Gordon in.]

What the fuck do you think you’re doing? You’re not trapping me in this shit hole!

[hangonsnoopy19]

Montresor in “The Cask of Amontillado”:

[random-jot]

Oh yeah I love classic literature, The Picture Of Dory In Grey, The Cask Of Armadillos, Warren’s Peas... all the greats